#maybe i just need to make art friends. like what is ur life like? im too much in a science bubble | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bestjeanistmonster · 1 month

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Hey! Love ur DC au, and I don’t mean to be rude and don’t know if u take ideas/prompts- but I thought it would be really cool if tails/robin and Amy/batgirl had a chance or something happened and they were sent back to the past before Nicky became Sonic/Harley and they could stop it from happening- but something in the future becomes worst because Nicky wasn’t Sonic/Harley- idk how the ending would go- maybe something like they have to let Nikey go and become Sonic or Nikey sacrifices himself to become Sonic in order to save the future. But I don’t know if you take prompts but I love ur art and AUs!

Okay okay so i usually don’t take plot ideas but im making this time an exception cuz i actually rlly rlly like this idea!!

Cuz apart from the running plot going on in the background for the most part it’s a lot of monster of the week type adventures going on most of the time and this is a rlly fun adventure to think about

(And! This actually reminds me of an episode of batman the animated series where Mad Hatter puts Batman to sleep and putting him into a dream reality where his parents never died and therefore batman didn’t exist and he has to break out of it and i just LOVE it!!)

The idea of them learning to ‘keep moving forward’ this way would be so goo! Like everytime they change the past in some way to save their friend it ends with them losing something else, so they keep making changes and the present keeps getting worse and they keep just obsessing over getting it right this time! They had to find a way to get the ideal life with their friend, there had to be some way to get it

And then there’s this breakdown moment of not knowing what to do cuz the present just seems fucked up no matter what and then maybe Nicky himself unknowingly gives them the advice they needed to fix the present

Like yeah, the past sucks, but obsessing over stuff you could’ve done differently or trying to obsess over some potential future would just end up driving you crazy. At the end of the day you can’t change the past, and you can’t control the future either, all you can really do is do what you can do in the present and hope for the best

“I mean present can’t be all bad, right?”

Like yeah they lost someone important to them, but they realise that they also gained some people too, new friends, a new life.

So they let Nicky become Sonic

It hurts so much to let it happen but they know they can’t change what happened to Nicky… but they can still try to help Sonic

It might be a lost cause, it might even be too late but they’ll sure as hell try anyway

#god i rlly wanna draw smthn for this now #ty for the idea!!!#jeanist answers #sonadow harlivy au

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kingofthe-egirls · 10 months

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Psssst, you okay with writing a Luffy smut short? Surprise me, add your own prompt and twist love❤️

Hmmm ok! I’m in love with Luffy so im always ready to write about him lmao

(cw: modern au, livestreaming on PornHub, onlyfans, camming, rich!luffy, food mention, trashy romance novel au)

(a/n: this is gonna just be me completely self-inserting myself. i need it.)

***

Your long brown hair falls over one shoulder, fluffy and tangled from under your headphones. You’ve been streaming on PornHub for a while now, having built your career with OnlyFans and livestreaming. You’re proud of what you do, albeit a little exhausted.

Hey!

Someone types a greeting, and you smile in response. “Hey there! What’s up?” You put on lipgloss, smacking your lips close to the mic in case he’s into ASMR.

I like ur smile :)

“Aw, thanks!” You click on his name to add a gold star, favoriting the newcomer on vibes alone. “Whatcha into?”

Hmmm…

He types, and you give him room. Men are typing with only one hand, usually. You smirk. “I’ve got tarot, ASMR, blowjobs, cosplay…SPH and foot fetish, although those are extra,” you meet the camera’s fisheye, but only for a moment. Eye contact is hard, even virtually.

What’s sph?

“Small penis humiliation,” you reply, clicking through your playlist. Marina and the Diamonds, today. “How To Be A Heartbreaker” is a classic, and you smile. “D’ya like being made fun of?”

Nope! But that’s okay lol

You hum.

What’s tarot?

You pick up your deck from beside you on the table: the Goblin Market Tarot, based on one of your favorite poems. You love faerie tales. “It’s a form of divination! Or just a game, depending on how you use it. But it’s cool! You can ask questions about love, career, relationships. And then the cards will tell you something specific about what’s going on!”

You shuffle the cards, shiny and periwinkle, experimentally. “Wanna read? It’s only $5 in free chat, ‘less you want a longer reading in exclusive.”

kingofthepirates has tipped you $5!

“Okay!” You say, excited. Tarot readings are your favorite. You have youtube videos and tiktoks, too. “What’s your question? I only pull one card for free chat.”

What’s for dinner?

“Ha!” You laugh out loud, “Let’s see!”

You flip over a card. Two more fall out of the deck after it, and you place them on the table in front of you. You scooch your laptop a bit farther away, to give the cards room.

“Hmm,” you say, peering over the watercolor art, “Looks like a lot, whatever it is. Ten of crowns—that’s swords—in reverse, eight of wands, and nine of platters. That’s pentacles, or earth. Which means food, material wealth, clothing, even. What d’ya like to eat? He’s got a platter of pears,” you hold up the card for the camera, grinning slightly.

Meat! Lol

“Haha, okay!” You tap on the cards in front of you. “Looks like a big party, maybe some conflict going on. Maybe a buffet? Like you’re fighting over food. But ya don’t have to be, with ten of swords in reverse, there’s plenty of food to go around. D’ya like barbecue? That’s what I’m getting.”

I do!

You sweep the cards up, and place them back in the deck neatly. “Well, that’s what I have for you! I like barbecue too, maybe I should order ribs…,” you click through your browser tabs, opening DoorDash to see what’s up.

Omg no way!!! Sanji is having a barbecue tonight!

“Sanji?” You ask, distracted, “Is that your boyfriend?” You love teasing men about having boyfriends and such, being bisexual (and nonbinary) yourself. You like tipping on the scales of heteronormativity, in whatever way you can. It makes them blush.

Nooo lmao he’s my cook! My friend

“Cook?” You ask, teasing. “What are you, rich?”

Yep!

Your eyebrows fly halfway up your forehead, but you don’t say anything. You calmly put the tarot deck away.

“I’ve never had a cook before in my life,” you cross your arms on the desk, letting your back arch so your cleavage sticks out.

It’s fun! He loves cooking and he’s the best at it. I also have a bodyguard but he’s my friend too. He likes swords ⚔️

You giggle at the emoji.

“Well, you came to the right place if y’wanna spend money,” you flirt, glittering at the camera. You’re not wearing makeup, but the pink light you have set up overhead does wonders for your skin. Plus the ring light to the side adds a couple sparkles to your eyes.

kingofthepirates has tipped you $50!

“Holy shit,” you breathe, quickly adding VIP to the stranger’s folder. “Thanks, king!” You smile, beaming at the screen. Maybe bills aren’t gonna be so bad, this week.

Let’s go to a show :)

“Gladly,” you fiddle with the collar of your robe, already itching to get undressed for this man. You hope he’s cute. “Exclusive?”

Sure 😈

kingofthepirates is requesting an Exclusive show. Accept?

You click “yes.”

Obviously.

***

The boy is very cute, as it turns out. He’s fisting his cock in one hand, camera turned on, with a sculpted abdomen and veiny forearms. His camera doesn’t show his face, but that’s normal for you. His glistening six-pack and toned arms are enough for you to get wet, grinding in your desk chair as you suck off your silicone toy.

“This is so hot,” he moans, voice raspy and sweet. His mic is turned on, which you usually hate, but this time it’s cute. Your pussy is aching, and you need his cock inside you soon.

“Fuck—,” you manage out, in between licks up the silicone shaft, “Glad you like it,” you pant.

“Love it,” he whines, playing with the bronze cockhead. His fingers are long and thick, with splotchy bruises on the knuckles. You wonder if he’s a boxer, or something. Or maybe just a troublemaker who gets in a lot of fights.

You pinch your own nipples, having teased off your silk robe at the start of the show. Now, you’re naked besides your cotton underwear that you usually keep on. Pussy’s for the OnlyFans, babes.

You’re actually turned on, too.

“Mmm,” he groans, speeding up his pace. He’s probably gonna cum soon, unless you slow down your show. You teasingly poke the cock into your mouth, stretching out your cheek. You roll your eyes up, moaning like a hentai girl.

“C-can you deepthroat it?” He asks, panting. His voice is so sexy, oh my god.

“I can try,” you giggle, and slide the cock halfway down your throat. Your gag reflex triggers, and you cough as you pull it out. “Sorry, I’m not the best at deepthroats,” you slap the toy against your cheek. He moans, anyway.

“God, you’re good,” he grips his balls with his other hand, and you notice scars up and down his arms. He also has one shaped like an X on his chest. You wonder where he got those, if he really is a reckless fighter, having adventures you can only dream of.

“What do you do?” You ask, jumping up and down in your seat. Your tits jiggle, and he groans appreciatively.

“Wish I could touch you,” his voice cracks. His hand trails up his abdomen, playing with his own nipples a bit. His hands are wide and thick, and you lick your lips.

“Me too,” you confess, genuine. He’s one of the hotter clients for you. You set the dildo down so you can play with your own tits. They’re soft and heavy, and you bounce them in your hands.

“But, ah,” he palms his cock softly, “I’m a MMA fighter. What about you?”

“Besides this?” You ask, tossing too-long hair over your shoulder. It brushes against your bare skin, and you grimace. You pull it up into a bun instead. Your eyes glitter at the camera, and your lips purse. “I make content on PornHub, OnlyFans, and other places like YouTube and stuff. Cosplay, tarot, mostly blowjobs. But not—on the wholesome places,” you breathe a laugh. “I’m kinda everywhere, these days.” You pause, unsure of what to do. “Here, let me copy and paste my username.” You send the info in chat, hoping to get an extra $5 for the OnlyFans sub.

“I’ll hafta subscribe,” he flirts, “Can I see that ass again?”

You grin, flushing slightly, as you stand up and turn around. You grab your ass in both hands, squeezing heavy flesh tightly. You bounce up and down, letting him appreciate the jiggle. Your cellulite and curves are one of a kind, you know this. Not everyone is stick-thin and spray tanned, so when customers click on your page they know they’re getting something genuine, and special.

At least, you hope.

“Fuck, baby,” he drawls out, and you turn over just in time to see him cum. Thick bursts of semen paint his clenching abs, and you hum.

“Good job,” you praise him, and he laughs. You sit back down.

“Shishishi,” he giggles, and you blush. He’s mad cute, to be honest. He fiddles with his phone, bringing it up to his face for the first time. You hitch a breath.

He’s mad cute.

“Make sure you favorite me,” you breathe, staring at his boyish features and jet black hair. His face is flushed, handsome, with a curved scar under one eye. He’s grinning at you with crinkly eyes. “S-so you can come back,” you stutter. Flustered.

Shit.

“Already did!” He bites his lip. Flicks his eyes up and down his camera. Looking at you, still bared body and soul in front of him. You wanna touch, and badly.

“Wanna hang out?” He asks, face cooling down. He grabs a towel, and wipes off his belly. He gasps, breathy, and leans back in bed. The covers are crisp and cool, almost like a hotel.

“Sure,” you breathe, ticking down to see your showtime extending. Past ten minutes, now. Fuck yeah, you think, leaning back in your own chair. “Whatcha wanna talk about?”

“Read my tarot again,” he cocks an eyebrow, “And let me know what it’ll take to get you to go on a date with me.”

***

Epilogue:

Hey 😈

He messages you on Insta, and you bite your lip. You’re sitting cross-legged at a café, having taken yourself out for a treat after your very long show this afternoon.

Hi baby 😇

You respond, too quickly. Who cares? You sip your drink, a foamy dirty chai. It tastes like cinnamon and almond milk.

Look up 👀

Frowning, you flick your eyes up and around the café. There. He’s seated across the way, at one of the square little tables situated in the center of the room. You blanch. That’s never happened before. Was there an angel of sex work watching over you?

You hope so. You gulp as he stands to make his way over to you. He’s even cuter in real life, and all thoughts of danger and serial killers and making mistakes leave your brain in one, swift breeze. You grin.

“Heya,” you say, sitting back to cross your legs. Your warm latte sits in both hands. You clear your throat. “Nice to meetcha,” you extend a hand. He takes it, smiling and warm.

“Hi,” he takes the seat across from you, pulling it out with one hand. The iron legs scrape across the granite floor. There's an exposed brick wall behind irl kingofthepirates.

"Didn't think I'd see you here," you hedge, raising an eyebrow. "Do I need to be worried?"

He blanches, eyes wide. "N-no!! I swear I'm normal. I don't--live here, I'm visiting. I have a--a match tonight! D'ya wanna come see it? I can get you VIP seats." He scoots his chair closer, looking up at you from under pretty lashes. You purse your lips.

"Prove it."

He giddily takes out his phone, a very nice smartphone with a cute charm hanging from the side. You tilt your head, and see it's a little skull-and-crossbones. You smirk.

"Here!" He hands you his phone, sliding it across the table. "It's me!"

You see a YouTube video of a wrestling match: two muscular dudes with their hands wrapped in fists. One is wearing white-and-blue shorts with pink hair, tied back with a bandana. The other is kingofthepirates, wearing red shorts with his hair loose. It’s black and floppy in spikes. He jumps up and down a bit, getting ready. The bell dings, the ref moves, and the stadium around the ring erupts in lights.

King shuffles forward, fists up, and knocks the pink-haired guy out cold. “Holy shit,” you breathe, watching the match end after only one shot. “That’s you?”

“Yep!” He grins, “We’re having a rematch this afternoon. Wanna come? I’m gonna kick his ass.”

“Sure,” you decide, not having much to lose. “Can I bring a friend?”

“Boyfriend?” He asks too soon. You sip your drink.

“Girlfriend,” you correct, arching an eyebrow. “Is that a problem for you?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, as long as we can still do shows sometime.”

“Sure,” you say, nodding. “I liked your show.”

He smiles, wide and delicious, before going back to his phone to text someone furiously. “Lemme getcha two VIP seats. I wanna see ya after the show.”

“Okay,” you hum, letting him type. You lean back in your chair, pulling up your own phone. You text Nami, your girlfriend.

Babe? Ur not gonna believe this ☠️

***

#im self indulgent #dumpster dive #my writing #one piece fanfic #luffy fanfic #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #the goblin market is a real tarot deck btw #i pulled real cards for the fic #i love me #this is just straight romance novel lol #trashy romance novel au #new tag lol #requests

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lavender-at-heart · 2 years

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Hey! So i saw your "Dating Legolas would include" with a human. Do you think you could do it but with an elf? Sorry if your requests are closed.

Thanks, bye bye!😊

Legolas dating a elf hc's:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pairing: Legolas x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of death, heartbreak, having children lol

words: 1.5k

Notes: tysm for the request! i didnt know if you wanted fem or gn reader so i went with fem but i can make a gn!reader one too. also im so sorry i didnt get the notification for the ask so i didnt see it until very recently<3 my requests are open and id love to recieve more! also theres a part that mention kids and if your someone that doesnt want kids or doesnt like them then you can go right ahead and pretend it doesnt exist. And remember to eat , drink water and get some good rest today, you deserve it(and shannah tovah to any jewish ppl out there:])<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

being a elf and dating Leggo boy definitely has its perks

for one : his dad might approve of you

and secondly you never have to have the mortal and immortal talk, so yay!

growing up as the daughter of lord elrond meant you knew who Legolas was since you were born(if you dont look like Elrond's family just pretend ur adopted woop :] ).

you and every eleth in middle earth fawned over him

when you were younger you day dreamed of being a princess locked in a tower, one day he'll come and rescue you and take you away from the seemingly measly life you lived

he paid visits to Rivendell quite often , enjoying the company of you and your siblings

you had grown up with him around, always willing to teach you the art of archery or how to fend off any scary looking spiders.

but after the battle of the five armies he stopped fisiting Rivendell, something about finding the Dunedain rangers.

you grew up, and you missed him yes- but you convinced yourself that he was just a family friend- no one special.

boy you were wrong because then you meet him again when the council of Elrond happens and its like a freight train of emotions hit you in the heart

elves only fall in love once- its a very serious and dramatic ordeal, and you knew this was it.

you also knew that you could possibly die of heartbreak if he didnt return your feelings.

you assumed he saw you as a little sister, or had completely forgotten about you.

but then both of you had a talk in Rivendell, the night before you planed to head off.

he explained that he had fallen in love with you, he had always loved you but when he saw you again he knew it was romantic.

but he knew that the chances of either of you dying on this journey were very real and very possible

and although it would be very hard for the both of you, you decided to stay friends until the fight was over. it would save you a lot of pain and suffer if one of you did die though

but even just being really really friendly was not helping either, you still had a very strong connection.

he'll always make sure you keep up your health when on the road

"the key to staying healthy is to drink lots of water dear one"

"surely thats not enough food for you mellon"

always covering for you when its your turn to keep watch so you can get better sleep

and that all seems like very normal friend stuff but then...

the hair braiding

he will insist to braid your hair so you dont have to waist time doing it

he'll learn how you do your style and might even try some new designs he think would look pretty on you

you dont even know what to say, because elvish hair braiding is a sacred thing, usually you only braid the hair of your significant other or family members.

but legolas can be a bit dense at times, maybe he doesnt realize hes making this harder than it needs to be

you two always end up together , walking, rowing, wherever you are you two usually stray from the fellowship to have some alone time

you often find it hard to relate to the rest of the fellowship, being so diferent from them

but Legolas was the same as you, sometimes you feel like your the same person. so connected to eachother , finding such a peacful familiarity when your with him

gandalf thinks your friendship is absolute bs and he sees right through the both of you, hes practically your matchmaker always trying to get you together.

when you reach Lothlorian your grandmother, Galadriel knocks some sense into you

she tells you that your future will be bright and full of happiness if you can just get over your stupid friend-zone rule, but she does agree that the futre is uncertain and that you would probably die if he gets killed and vice versa.

the battles are rough but you never falter, you and leggy enjoy showing off your elven strength and beauty to the humans

you get hit on about a million times in Rohan and you can see its driving the elven prince bonkers.

if Legolas is ever injured which rarely ever happens, you are there to tend to the wounds

if he is restless you'll read or sing some elvish hymns for him to fall asleep to.

there's is nothing that can dampen your spirits when the two of you are together, even without the romantic side your happy just to be near him as often as you are.

you spend you wandering days discussing elven philosophers, teaching gimli elvish or connecting to the forests together.

when the final battle comes, you are plauged with fear

you pray and pray and pray that both of you stay safe.

legolas is the best warrior in middle earth , but you were not.

not to say you werent a skilled warrior, you were better than any man, hobbit or dwarf- but you were not Legolas.

what if something were to happen and he was left alone?

well you didnt have much time to dwell on that fact because you had won the battle and both of you must imidiatley return home to your fathers.

it wasnt fair, you were finally able to be together but noooooooooooo you just had to be separated until Aragorns corination

when you got home your father knew about you and Legolas, he said he had already had a vision of of your future together and he gave you his blessing

Arwen and your brothers were very very happy for you. arwen told you about her own romantic struggles and you bonded over the fact that you had been separated by your loves.

arwen said that the four of you should get married together, while unorthodox it sounds very exiting

you spend the few months at home planing to see Legolas again, weaving a new dress to impress him, finding a new hair braiding technique, picking apart yourself and making sure your perfect for your reunion.

you and Arwen are so nervous at Aragorns corination you can barley stand.

seeing Aragorn and your sister ruinite made you almost as happy as reuniting with Legolas

you cried, you hugged, you kissed

you met his dad and that was a traumatic experience in itself

but he seemed to like you, he respected your father and therefore he must respect you. Even though he thinks Elrond is senile.

getting married in Lothlorien, surrounded by the beautiful lights and trees, married by your grandmother and officially named the princess of Eryn Lasgalen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you leave your family with sadness but your beyond exited to see the greenwood

Legolas' kingdom welcomes you as one of their own and they are thrilled about having a princess

you spend a lot of time with Legolas but you also make sure to get to know your new home and its peoples

Legolas took you on a grand tour of the palace and the woods

you were amazed by the grand architecture, thinking you could spend eternity in Eryn Lasgalen, and you would.

you read up on the history of the Greenwood, learning about their customs and traditions.

you also make sure to visit the smaller less grand part of the kingdoms, visiting schools and hospitals.

to say Legolas is proud of you is an understatement

Legolas has to go to a lot of meetings and is busy a lot of the time, he feels so bad and the apologies never stop

but no matter how long he is gone he always makes it up to you

hell take you horseback riding and pack a picnic lunch to make it up to you

his father is honestly surprised at how in love the two of you are, you have been married for decades and still act as though you are in your honeymoon phase

when the two of you have your first child, a boy named Oropher[named after legolas' grandfather], Thranduil cant help but get reminded of him and his wife[and baby leggo too ofc]

Thanduil enjoys your conversations, thinking of you as a daughter he never had, and a good friend

he also lets you in on all the embarrassing baby Legolas stories he never got to tell anyone.

you end up having 5 children in all your years, three girls and two boys

some take after you more, others Legolas

you make excellent parents, teaching them the arts, sciences and ways of battle.

Legolas spends time with his children as often as he possibly can and is an amazing father

you love your life in the greenwood, its your home

but eventually the time of the elves is over and you and your family sail for Valinor, to be together forever<3

#legolas headcannons #legolas x you #legolas x reader #legolas one shot #lotr #lord of the rings #legolas #thranduil #arwen

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narcissusbrokenmirror · 9 months

Text

Alex Mercer + catholic trauma really does something for me, i like reading fanfics abt it cuz it feels like home. shout out to all the projecting Alex writers out there.But i think its funny how inaccurate it is. not in a bad way ofc. But i have thoughts about 90's gay teen Alex. I need to get them out. But i think its funny how inaccurate it is. not in a bad way ofc. But i have thoughts about 90's gay teen Alex. I need to get them out.

I mean its the 90's, religion is not the only thing making people homophobic there, besides toxic masculinity being pretty much a thing, there was also the post aids moment, so despite the 90's not being the most homophobic era ever, gay people were like, a presence, on the social groups, especially on the art/acting/music scene. so, for me, it makes sense when Kenny Ortega says Alex was a proud character of his identity as a gay young man.

doesn't add up to me tho, being gay + proud + christian + in the 90's. like, you dont grow up proud of being queer if u spend your life hearing negative rhetoric about it. so i, personally, don't think Alex's family was religious.

Alex's family doesn't look religious and Alex doesn't seem into it, as well. Alex being confident, proud, relaxed and sarcastic brings me to think that he came from a very liberal family that was also homophobic. picture this with me.

the grunge/rock scene is full of people trying to make into a club that only people who look a certain way can be there, they're full of toxic masculinity behavior there. Alex's not like it, he knows better that rock is much more about expressing yourself through music and feeling with others, rather than how you look, you knows its bullshit. and im only mentioning this bc Alex doesn't dress like alt ppl usually do, he's always in this relaxed outfit, the same black sweatpants and different soft colored shirts and jackets, he doesn't put an effort to how he looks, he just wants to be comfortable. and not caring how you look as long as ur comfortable? rock behavior ig

Alex being confident and proud tells us about the background he came from. If his family considered him trustworthy and let Alex make his own choices without interfering even if they don't like it, certainly he did NOT came from a religious household.

Alex is a drummer, that shit expensive for you to just have a whole kit hanging around, so his parents probably got it for him, they supported his band and let him have his friends around, they were warm and loving, helping into building Alex's sense of self worth, which is very nice.

so we don't have anything concrete abt Alex's past relationships, but i guess he first came out to his band and then his parents, Luke says Alex never had a boyfriend, but Alex being so certain that he was having a mutual connection with Willie would feel weird if it was the first time Alex flirted with a guy. nah. He probably did met other gay boys on clubs and concerts, flirted, made out once or twice, maybe even gone on dates, you know, teenager things.

the shit happened when he came out to his parents and they gave him the cold shoulder and silence treatment. because they had reasons to not want their son to be gay. Gay people were seen as dirty, sick, perverted, pedophiles, promiscuous and also a target for violence. As a parent, they wouldn't want his son that they loved and supported so much to be associated with such a marginalized group. But it's their son, after all, they couldn't throw him away. So they didn't locked Alex away from his friends, wasn't thrown out of his house, wasn't forced to get that "fixed up". Because Alex was their son, but they didn't want that part of him there, they didn't wanted to know about it.

Alex having his friends over would always click a question on his parents' mind for what if they aren't just friends, what can they be doing together when they're not looking (bc you know, gay people dont have feelings or connections, its all about the sex), what else could Alex's dad think when he sees Luke sneaking out of Alex's room wearing his shirt? and the problem is centered around it happening near to them, whatever Alex does outside their roof is his business, but his homosexuality is not welcome on the Mercer's house. Although, they didn't felt comfortable around Alex anyway, bc inside their heads, they knew that he couldn't keep his homosexuality off when they were together. they couldn't process that their son would be a homosexual, they couldn't love that, they could love their son, but not that.

Alex probably knew that, probably thought that it would eventually stop and they would be normal, warm and loving again, that they would support him again, probably because he didn't had his parents' love hold against some condition, as if he had to earn it. (As it is pretty common in religious households) It doesn't mean he wouldn't get hurt from it, he did and it was a lot, the lack of love, attention and support that he got from his came out, after a life of being given proper dosis of love and being allowed to be who he was. By the way Alex deals with changes, that shit was probably getting to his head.

Alex knew he deserved better than being treated like that, he knew he deserved his family to love him bc they always did and that they shouldn't define him by one element that would always be a part of him, he knew he deserved it to be a part of his life, deserved to bring a nice guy he met home to meet his parents instead of sneaking them in and out like he had to live it secretly. He didn't wanted that, it wasn't fair to him. He shouldn't have to feel ashamed enough to hide it from his dad bc his dad shouldn't want him to be ashamed of himself.

Alex was decided to stop caring about his parents thought of him, even if it meant them not being a part of his life, not that he wanted it this way, bc he didn't. But if they could change once, they could change again.

#julie and the phantoms #alex mercer #character analysis #its also my theory #i like to think that Alex didnt grow up repressed #kenny ortega wouldnt want to put religion on this spot anyway so thanks ig #im pretty sure luke is the one that came from a catholic houselhold tho

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philzokman · 1 year

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help im leaving tomorrow for an 8 hour plane ride and i need fic recs

I AM SO GLAD U ASKED FJWKDHSJS

okay okay so these are gonna be a mix of skk and sskk but i hope u enjoy :D

1. everything or nothing by well that happened - skk

“College AU where Chuuya finds out that the boy he drunkenly made out with the night of orientation is his new roommate. His arrogant, smug, very straight roommate. And the boys are each convinced the other is trying to ruin their life by making them go absolutely insane.”

i think the most kudosed skk fic on ao3 so not very. underground indie. JDHSJ the writing style isn’t my favourite but the plot is really good and the characterisation. oh my ever loving fuck THE CHARACTERISATION!!! strong nsfw that i’m like 99% sure is quite crucial to the plot though so i’d maybe skip this if ur not comfortable with that!! (the first 6 ish chapters should be mainly fine though for that if ur just wanting smn small and funny)

2. waiting room by srxlee - sskk

“In which the smell of antiseptic becomes familiar, and the feeling doesn't hurt like it used to, yet it aches. Where Ryuunosuke battles his habit of loving that which is fleeting. And now his hand, calloused and bruised, just can’t seem to let go.”

HEKANDHWKS i would die for this fic. it’s absolutely amazingly written like genuinely there are like 6 chapters where my mouth was agape the whole time purely bc of the writing style. the plot is really interesting, and the author deals with illness very very well. it DOES have a happy ending im so proud to announce and it’s overall very very sweet and i love it please read it i beg KDHSJ

3. learn to love by thebackwardsstep - skk

“Dazai pissed in a stranger's car- because screw the bourgeoisie- and now he has a sugar daddy. What the fuck.”

i physically could not tell u a thing about this fic, i read it when i was suffering with the flu BUT from what i do remember it was surprisingly sweet and the main ending conflict is resolved by a bird so JDHAKSH also also also in spite of its name it only has like 2 nsfw scenes in it which are VERY easily skippable and also a scene where dazai dresses up as a girl and they go to a ball :D

4. debatable society by chlovrs - sskk

“Atsushi has always struggled with self-confidence so to boost him up, his friend Dazai convinces him to join their University debate society. It works for a little bit, he makes some friends and is actually able to like, ya know...join in on conversations without shaking like a leaf. But then they start competing with the students from their neighboring University and of course, Akutagawa, the one who is beauty incarnated just loves to fucking argue.”

THIS IS SO CUTE. it’s been a while since i’ve read it but from what i can remember the plot is rlly cute, and sskk’s dynamic is really sweet. the author is also the absolute sweetest person ever and i highly highly recommend leaving a comment or two bc they’re genuinely soso sweet and Will respond KDHAKSH (there IS one nsfw scene but again, very easy to skip and doesn’t affect the plot by any means)

5. thé art of precious scars by run_mello - skk

“Role reversal AU where Dazai is in the Port Mafia and Chuuya is in the Armed Detective Agency.

---

When a famous painting goes missing from the Mori Art Museum, the ADA jumps in to help investigate the case. So Dazai and Chuuya go on a mission together, solve the mystery together, fight enemies together... and somewhere along the line, they fall in love.”

holy ever loving FUCK THIS FIC IS AMAZING. i remember the first thought i had while reading it was “this authors read the irl authors books.” LIKE IT SHOWS SO MCUHF WJDKDH i think my favourite example of this was in i think the first or second chapter when dazai plays the synonym/antonym game from no longer human it’s genuinely really really sick. as well as that the author will occasionally sprinkle in quotes from books and poems and it’s just. very very very cool. the characterisation is phenomenal its so well written very highly recommend !!!

6. chuuya is red hot and dazai is so not by icedlightroast - skk

“Dazai couldn't wrap his brain around it. How could the student population think that Chuuya Nakahara was more attractive than him? And, alright, sure, maybe professors shouldn't get caught up in petty drama. But to Dazai, this wasn't just drama. This was war. A war in which he was not going to lose.”

this made me giggle an abnormal amount. KDHAJS this fic had me kicking my feet back and forth and twirling my hair oml it’s soso cute VERY short but very very cute

BAR LIKE 30 FICS THATS MY REC LIST FJSKS !! hope u enjoyed and have fun on ur trip !!!! :D

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anonymousredactedconfessions · 23 days

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@ 🤠🐸

yall rly just are not getting what i had said in my original ask at all. like none of yall understand.

first of all, i can complain about it. thats what i did. i complained about it. let me explain this in a way that can make sense as to why im so upset about it.

imagine that regularly, every month for 2-3 years, you are given a piece of candy. now all of a sudden, youre being forced to pay for the candy. why do you have to pay for the candy? its always been free before so why now? it cant be because of a financial crisis, because the person supplying you has a steady income and makes more money than you have or probably will see in your whole life. i think its pretty fucking fair to be upset about it.

i dont expect it to change, i dont expect anyone to do anything about it. i dont expect everyone to understand, but god fucking damn it, i have grown up having even basic human fucking needs deprived of me because money is stupid and evil and yeah, yanno what, i think im entitled to being a little upset when yet Another Thing is being taken from me because i cant afford to give a rich white man money. no its not serious, i get that. but i dont know why me voicing that im upset about something automatically makes me childish and immature and apparently, according to past responses, a fucking loser who has no friends.

idk man. money is the root of all evil or whatever and i hate paying for art in general because its stupid that anyone even has the need to charge money for art or slap any kind of monetary value on it. i get that it sounds like im whining, but the way that i look at it, this kind of feeling for me runs a lot deeper than “i cant have my favorite content bc it costs money”

its very much a “its stupid that anyone should have to pay for these kinds of things because art shouldnt be monetized period but we live in a world where its Needed and that pisses me the fuck off because I HATE MONEYYYYYY I HATE ITTTTTT “ kind of thing lmao

like yall know how everyone is mad at streaming services for making you pay more for less shit when it used to be included in what you get??? its the same kind of vibe for me. why would i ever pay money for something that was free for half its existence or whatever lmao

idk i dont think anyone will really understand unless you grew up the way i did. its cool. its whatever. just maybe dont fucking attack me for complaining about financial situations/the ridiculous roundabout ways i have to go about getting shit that used to be free.

im not even mad about Erik himself being the one to do it. im mad that anyone does it. you should not force anyone to pay for shit that used to be free. shit should not cost more after time goes on. because none of it makes any fucking sense and money is stupid and grrrrrer whateverrrrrrr whateverrrrr it doesnt mattererrrrrrrr (thx to mod priest for putting up with all this btw love u dude, ur a pillar in this community truly and u see some of the worst shit that this fandom says and big props to you. i wont be commenting on this any further just for your sake tbh. much love, thank you for everything you do dude)

-⚡️🩸

(thanks ⚡🩸 anon 🥺. Thats very sweet of you ❤️ love u too dude)

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #confessions #the priest speaks

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aceymazy · 1 year

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Hello can you do a few HCs for Clara, Ife, You Yan, Drew, Falken or Gaius?

MORE DREW CONTENT??? yall drew fans THIRSTY 😭😭 anyways, going to do clara and drew, changing up a bit and doing 2 since i wanna improve my imagination ive been burned out lately. (ty especially for ur support, i see you like my works and keep requesting tysm!)sorry if i make any spelling errors!!

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~~Clara n Drew (separate) HC's~~

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-clara-

okay, first off, she has a reputation. A VERY HIGH ONE AT THAT. so she keeps everything lowkey, but in private she dosent mind the pda and love <3

claras favourite thing to do is cane dance, so she would ask if you would like to cane dance with her (if you cant cane dance or dont even know what that is (like me) then she'll teach you)

if you get hurt she will always be the first person to aid you, esper or not

but if you get hurt easily or very often she will try to prevent these times to happen, dont know how but she will

okay this is random but i see that whenever you stare at her breasts (like come on dont deny it you would, look at the official art on the wiki or official page😭) she just gives you a teasy smile and asks if you like the view, trying to catch you off guard

if you steal her hat, glasses and try to act like her in the mirror and she finds out, she will watch you (in secret) and when she tells you that she knows about you acting like her infront of the mirror she actually either compliments your acting OR give you positive criticism like what you need to work on, etc.

she likes peacocks, so she will take you to a peacock petting place (probs dont exist but shh) as a date, she finds peacocks as beautiful animals and always teases you by saying

"I always thought peacocks were beautiful, that was until i met you of course."

smooth woman right here

i easily think her love language is gift giving, so dont be suprised if you see chocolate, trinkets, pins, hats or small accsesories on your desk at home ;)

all in all shes a very caring and loving girlfriend <33

-Drew-

more drew headcanons yall are making me lose ideas for this man

i always say hes the perfect boyfriend material, but its true so ill say it again

my mans tall, hes 180cm so if youre shorter than him if you allow it, he'll put his head on your head

if you hold his hand or give him a kiss on the cheek as a good luck before a mission in public, he would freeze and blush, poor man cant handle your cuteness

you two would for sure bake/cook together

if you make him a mousse cake (his favourite) he wouls go nuts in a good way

blushing and admiring the hard work you put into it

if it tastes good or even bad he would still eat it, he dosent care at all you put your hard work into this just for him so he would, with pleasure, eat the cake no matter its taste or looks. its the thought that counts after all

if you become injured he would try to help you, he did serve a rich family so he of course knows some basic medic care. (dont know if thats the right term but lets stick to it okay...) if he knows he cant help, he'll put you into the unions medical cares arms and wait until you fully recovered to actually check up you himself

he does care really, but if youre not an esper thats in the union, you might barely see him

he does work for the union after all, he has missions to complete and peoples life could depend on it

so as i said maybe he wouldnt have time to be with you, but he does send you letters about his missions, well-being and some hi's and miss you's from the other union members

he did introduce his sweet partner to his friends after all

----------------

A/N: i had to reedit this after i posted this like 7 times because of my fast typing😭

im running out of drew headcanons, you guys are milking me out of them 😭, anyways sorry for being offline for a while, i was busy + didnt have any motivation/requests to do, i do have an old one im working on later!

Tysm for reading, likes and reblogs are appreciated!

#dislyte #dislyte scenarios #dislyte x reader #hcs #scenarios #ameirl #dislyte clara #dislyte drew scenarios #dislyte drew #dislyte drew x reader #dislyte clara x reader

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warmgreytail · 3 months

Text

Notes to self as I try to get over my crush:

1. I am okay with people missing out on me.

2. At some point, ur just too exhausted and fed up to care anymore?! He grown, he can do whatever he wants! Release ur grip girl and free urself of the stressing the worrying the overthinking... like at some point its too much I can find someone else who doesn't stress me out like u do and can give me a worry free lifestyle

3. Let fate handle it. As with all things that are true and from the heart, if it's meant to be, fate will find a way. It's more beautiful and poetic that way anyway!

4. Focus on ur skincare routine and studies instead!!! Get ur glow up, get ur value up, get ur price up ✨️

5. What would Choi Hyeseon (from Singles Inferno) do? Acknowledge ur self worth like her and be willing to walk away from anyone!

6. "I can do it with a broken heart."

7. Sometimes... it's better to be the person that is just out of reach.

8. At the end of the day, I care about him, I want him to be happy, and I don't want him to be hurt.

9. Become a shrouded mystery.

10. Pretend ur a heartbroken Chinese empress in ancient times drinking away her sorrows.

11. Sad to see you destroy the image I had of you in my head. So disappointed and disheartening to realize he's not the sweet, strong, self assured, smart, emotionally mature, gentle, thoughtful, lowkey, dignified, introverted guy u had fallen for, who u trusted, who made u feel safe. Such a unique grief im feeling. Grieving the bond we had. Grieving the guy I thought I knew, and the pathetic insecure self centered petty average guy that replaced him. The guy who was my friend. Maybe that guy only lives in my head. Maybe I made him up.

12. Find the humor and lightness in the situation. Like if u didn't have feelings for him, if u didnt care so much about what he does, if u didnt care that he liked u, u would think: is he okay?????? Maybe he needs space...

13. Absence and inspiring/engaging negative emotions of loss.

14. You r a catch, u have the credentials to back it up, you are desirable, you r not constantly just there for him no matter what. never forget ur worth. Put yourself on the pedestal. They prove themselves to you. They are winning or losing out on you. Not the other way around. If ur love is unconditional, then it won't inspire a feeling of losing/winning for him.

15. The moment he makes u feel disrespected and unsafe and anxious. Take away access. Remove yourself from the equation. Friendship privileges (caring) r gone. Take the power back. It's okay if he wants another girl! Wish him the best! He can go! Hope he finds and chases what he's looking for out there!

16. This post below. You are his heart and soul. His core values exemplified. Everywhere else is hollow.

17. He lost: my care, my dynamic aura/humor, the vibe I give ppl, his motivation, and my vision of him. He can't find the universe I created for him (the music, the food, the art) anywhere else. Ya can't fix me into a box. I'm just that girl!

18. Read it ends with us again... both u and lily bloom deserve atlas, not ryle!!!

19. Ickkkkkk

20. He wants a superficial blonde sorority girl, he can go have her! I know who I am and I love my world and my universe my life and being me so that ain't stressing me out. He can go stress out another girl

21. High value women like go aeishin, hyeseon make choices out of self love and have a strong core. They have rules for themselves and others and they do not bend those rules. They stand on business. They command respect and so attraction.

22. Recognize when someone is toxic for ur heart and health. Pulling away from him is an act of self love.

23. Disillusioned with his image of me. I'm smart, I'm talented!!! There's a toxic pattern where he likes a girl that feeds his ego, that is a people pleaser, that is a hopeless romantic, that centers their life around him. Why does he never compliment her talents, her skills, her capabilities? I want respect and admiration, not attachment.

25. "If u don't speak up for yourself, they'll think ur stupid." -sza's grandma

I'm nobody's fool. Im not going to be remembered as someone who wasted their time on him, just for him to say he is no longer attracted. Im not going to have a boy crazy reputation. Im not there to stroke his ego, for him to get off on my devotion. I'm not a footnote in his life as an epic hero. It's my dreams. My goals. My wants. MY loves. I'm the main character. I'm the it girl. I'm that bitch.

26. Affirmation: I don't want him, I am out of his league, he is not up to my standards. His petty trivial games is giving insecure NPC... its below me. A girl destined for big things don't have time for the small shit to get her down... let the players of stupid games win stupid prizes, I've got bigger missions

27. Hated the way he described the women in his life. "She was alright at soccer" everything was always in relation to him, he never described the women as goated, the only girl he truly respected seemed unattainable to him.

28. I love myself and my life and a man should fit into it, and enhance and upgrade my lifestyle, not make it worse. I should not be contouring myself to fit into his life. I will not blow up my life to be with him.

29. I'm that girl. My vibe is addictive. He craves my attention. Call me dust the way you will return back to me.

30. Remember yumi's cells.

31. He said "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" omfg....... he's literally so fcking shallow and toxic.

32. He said a girl was into him but he wasn't into her.... literally all girls r just ego boosts to him

33. I'm tired of exhausting myself over him. He likes girls chasing after him but I will not be blowing up his phone.

34. Crazy how easy I fall out of love when I lose respect for someone.

35. U r allowed to outgrow ppl.

36. This boy made u so sad u went home in the middle of the work day. Like ... be ur own protective older sister. Connecting with him is self sabotage girl.

37. He hurt me so bad that he singlehandedly cured my people pleasing tendencies, be unapologetic in my decisions and doing what's best for me, helped me stand on business, learn to say no and be inaccessible/unavailable to people, be more strict and disciplined with myself, value my own feelings/needs, stopped always being on the losing end, care less about what people think of me, stop chasing love from ppl and instead seek respect, prioritized my own personal appointments, and focus on my competence, inner confidence, and internal validation. I gotta treat myself well and not tolerate bare minimum and bs from myself in order to not tolerate that shit from others. From now on I am high maintenance.

38. What a privilege to be a character that experiences my love and attention, to be seen from my point of view. What a privilege to get to have the sue experience. Not everyone gets it.

39. "It's only because you love them. You are their source of power."

#me #mine

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pumpkinsy0 · 1 year

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okokok haitian shepards!! im totally in for it, i dont know much about haiti or the culture so i would love for you to tell everything

how would they celebrate holidays? any special days?

how would their culture show in their everyday life? any slang they would use?

what foods would be everyones favourite? who would cook everything or would thwy cook for themselves? (i need new recipes to try)

omg someone asking ME about haitian shepards?????joyous day it is yahoo!1!1!1!1!1 another win for me to rant LES GO

but anyways!!!

they generally celebrate holidays by getting together (either w their gang or w their actual like biological family) and cooking!!!maybe they even wear cultural clothes in the day!!!!well mostly angela but i mean curly and tim let her put make up on their face to celebrate it so awwwww yea baeby

in particular i feel like they celebrate mardi gras/kanaval, rara and fèt gede (pretty much day of the dead)

now fèt gede (and maybe rara????i think????) invilve haitian vodou so like i also hc them to dabble in that just a tad bit maybe???i feel like their grandma practiced it maybe even was a manbo and that kinda passed down onto their mom and in turn their mom taught them some things and they were interested in it, but then again i kinda flip flop between them being into vodou and them growing up christian so idk take this paragraph w a grain of salt

now!!!!! in their everyday life, they speak creole or add creole words into their sentences, they have a very small haitian accent, very small, u couldnt tell unless u were like born in haiti but its there, they also know a bit of french and maybe spanish too (i had a hc that their mom grew up w a lot of dominican friends so she grew up w a shit ton of specifically dominican spanish) so ig u could call the trilingual, they also use a shit ton of slang, like enough for their gang to use some of it and some of the ppl in school to as well, i cant think of SPECIFIC slangs rn but just know that they do, they also tend to make a lot of haitian food, like enough that they have to share w their gang if they wanna get rid if it, but its ok bc its rlly good!!!!

now i hc all of them to b artist in one way or another and i hc that their art is impacted by hatian culture, they have bright colors, its expressive etc etc

they also do a ton of haitian dances like konpa (now ur SUPPOSE to do it w a partner but i mean u could do it on ur own and still look cool!!!), so tim and curly arent rlly dancers BUT ANGELA IS and she ALSO dances merengue (not to b confused w the dominican version but that version looks cool too) and yanvalou

they flirt using creole i dont make the rules

some foods they make r haitian spaghetti and cornets, pikliz (not rlly a FOOD food but u can use it w food), blan manje, pate kòde, lambi, griot (thats literally their favorite mine too xoxo), plantain, doukonou, i dont remember what its specifically called but theres this haitian sausage thats rlly fucking big and a lil spicy and its rlly good and they love that too cause its so #good, and a bunch of other foods and deserts and drinks!!

generally, tim cooks for everyone but curly and angela love helping (all they do is fucking eat the food the lil rats)

hope this answered ur question thx for asking!!!

#curly shepard #tim shepard #angela shepard #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons

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thecoolerliauditore · 8 months

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I know I don't deserve another response from you, so just ignore this if you want. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent that message. I appreciate the kindness you gave me that I don't really deserve.

Honestly... I just can't believe that artists don't have a knack to start with. Because I've always had a knack for anything I'm good at, like math. I never really had to put effort into learning math. And even the things that I'm good at that did take effort I still had a knack at the beginning. I'm not trying to downplay artists' effort, I know it does take effort, but I don't think you can just start from 0. Or at least, I can't. So I'm not making that conclusion just on other people's art but also in other things I'm good at.

By the way, I'm not the person who sent the "life is unfair" ask, but I was already feeling negative and saw Struda's response and I reacted even worse.

My life's going pretty well all things considered, and I'm going to a good college to study some STEM related stuff. In the background I've struggled with this desire to be creative, though, and I'm trying to stifle that desire but it's not working, and no one really seems to have tutorials on how to get rid of that desire. I have a therapist and parents I could talk to, but doing so didn't help, either, because they don't understand what I'm trying to say.

I'm sorry also that it came off as guilt trippy. I'm really bad with managing my tone, especially when I'm feeling like this. I don't mean that as an excuse but as an explanation.

nah this is way more like it, i think we all need a bit of practice online with talking to each other like actual human beings and not text boxes to write ur entire internal monologue into 👍

happy to hear your life is going okay! If anything I'm just glad you're an adult who can reflect on yourself enough to recognize what you were doing was not great. I was trying to keep things vague as possible because, again, idk you and you could've been a 13 year old with no allowance for all i know lol.

i've noticed alot of beginner artists tend to have this.. all or nothing mindset? i don't really understand the desire to stifle your need to create. like. are you not allowed to have a hobby lol. amateur means to love yada yada. especially if you're not trying to make a living out of it where's the rush 😭😭

Going to link this marco bucci video again because even tho it's long it's probably one of the most eye-opening things I've ever watched in terms of his view on talent, gifted kid syndrome, etc.

I used to say I had a 'knack' for art tbh. then i realised i.. really didn't? i just drew more than the other kids in my class because i didn't like sports or maths and got the reputation for being "the art kid". funnily enough i was also into creative writing and history but no one looks at reciting historical facts like they do with drawing 🤷‍♂️

it wasn't til i was in a course with other artists everywhere when I realised just how not-talented i really was. and thats fine cus none of us really were. some of us were just better at learning than others (which is a trained skill in of itself) and that's about it. 👍

if it helps at all, I have gotten into sports recently despite being useless at it all my life and have realised that it was more that I just needed an environment to flourish in instead of any problem with my athleticism itself (which is STILL BAD don't get me wrong but im not hopeless like my gym teachers thought i was 😭😭). so maybe what u need is just the right people? try finding an online artist community that you fit in, make some friends, and just chill with them while making art together?

again i dunno you so idk what would work lmao

so uh yeah 👍

#art thoughts #<-- i like talking/thinking abt art education alot #another note here anon i would recommend learning how to self-study thru youtube videos #mainstream education is near useless when it comes to art. even in art schools unless you're going to the top %. im dead serious.#ive been thinking abt compiling a list of art resources but idk if that would be helpful to anyone except me lol

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jeymoi · 9 months

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some more vent art because i have art block and cannot afford to have emotions right now yahooooo!!!

[vent here: read at ur own risk! very sensitive themes feel free to skip ofc, this is just my not so secret diary dump bc i know nobody reads these anyway lmmaaoo]

im trying very hard to keep it together but every ounce of my being wants to run away. i try to convince myself to listen to my friends, to carry on, to achieve what i tell myself i need to do before the inevitable. it feels so easy to just listen to the whispers in my mind. it feels like it would be so much easier to just give in; not just for myself, but all those around me. it’s hard to take care of myself, i really do not know how others are putting up with it. it makes me sad to think that im hurting others just by burdening myself and by acting the part.

it makes me sad to think that others feel like they have to take care of me because i cannot take care of me. i do not want to take care of me because the me of all my life is broken past all repair and held together by loose strings of who i even am. i know i am undeserving of love. at times i wonder if the love i give is genuine or if i am just holding on to the fraction of what i think i could feel. either way, i simply live selfishly and grasp with duality of the want to experience what i cannot afford and the need to make amends with my soul.

every action i make is one followed by regret. i’ve made some lovely and amazing friends yet i fear that forming these bonds will only hurt more people in the end. it’s hard to escape the mindset of feeling guilty for existing. i want to so very badly wipe the memories of all those who know or have known me. i want them to forget that i am the way i am. i want them to have one less thing to worry about in the midst of the cruelties of life itself. maybe i am selfish for wishing this for those i love as i cannot understand my own importance, but if i need to be selfish, let it be without harm to others.

in my own field of education, i often worry that i will not succeed. though i have the drive to help and please others, i lack the same sentiment for myself. i worry that i will not be able to care for others right because i cannot even care for myself. i tell myself that i just need professional help but i fear the consequences of opening up. i fear making myself another responsibility to others when i already do that enough. i know a professional knows what to do but i cannot find the will to open up to those around me about needing a professional.

for now i will just keep crying myself to sleep. for now i will just keep telling myself that i’m not allowed to go. for now i will keep trying to convince myself im deserving of my life even if i do not believe what i say. for now i’ll keep trying to make it to the next day.

#vent art #sketch #doodles #artists on tumblr #chrysanthemum #portrait #Spotify

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robyn-goodfellowe · 1 year

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I KNEW THAT HAND WAS TOO FUCKING CLOSE IM GOING TO EXPLODE AGAGAGAGAGAG. I'm so excited to see where this goes cause holy shit. Poor Bow is gonna have some serious adjusting to do :( I think out of everyone she's having the worst go at it tbh like ya kid got puppetized and mu is suffering and timmy is fucking gone (L) but like poor Bow has had her entire world turned upside down, facing the end of time itself, both people closest In her life were lying to her about major parts of themselves, has to work with a woman she barely knows outside of books, to go fins her missing friend who just took her sight in an incredibly violent way! (though it was very cool to read eye trauma my beloved) like she needs a vacation. and therapy. lots of therapy. anyways nice to see all the cut the strings bullshit from the puzzle finally get its payoff.

speaking of I hope people are liking the art, I had a great time with it being a little secret :) all for me, little puzzle page gift. but in the end, the real gift for me was the puzzle page itself, like THATS SO COOL. the puzzle solver becomes a part of the puzzle :) her own little spot in the grand scheme of it all :)

anyways thanks for the great chapter I understand why you were losing ur shit over it I would too tbh. 12 15 22 5 25 1 11 9 14 7 <3

EHEHEHE i'm really curious to know what your initial thoughts or expectations were about that piece! it's definitely one that i love really deeply, it's not my first time working with that artists hehe and they always manage to blow everything they create completely out of the water :3c

with that being said AAAAHHH I'M SOSOSO HAPPY YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER HOWDY. i was SO excited for it like honest to god somethig possessed the hell out of me because while it's been sitting on my outline for eons, i shit you not i churned it out in two days. very very rough shitposty draft day one and final draft day two. i don't think i've ever written that fast in my life. i'm not sure i ever will again

bow is definitely going through the worst of it for realsies like out of everyone she is just continuously getting screwed over. no house, no cat, no job, no mental stability, no vision, no emotional support timmy... all she wanted was to be cats with kid and look where that got her 😭 at least she has minuit back tho lol? but i mean with everything else going on that hardly makes up for it. its just sooo easy to kick her when shes down though........ she definitely is gunna need a lot of vacations+therapy after this. but maybe we should focus on her hospital bills first

im so happy you had fun with the puzzle heheeh i already miss it so much!!!!! im glad we got the chance to cement you in there. youve been so dedicated, you deserve it! :3

thank you for the kind words howdy im sorry it took me so long to reply... i always like to let these things sit so i can just look at them and feel all warm and fuzzy. 12 21 22 21 20 15 15 11 9 14 7

#answered #howdy tag #twtt spoilers #acit

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puppyeared · 1 year

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Hi!! I really like ur art!! Ur artstyle is so cute it makes me wanna explote. Can i ask for ur ocs? (Their designs, names, etc) i wanna know more abt them!!! :]

YESS OMGB IM GOING TO BE SO ANNNOYING ABOUT THIS

augusta is a revamped oc that i made in grade 6, so technically shes my firstborn!! don’t really have any story for her, she’s just there to float around in my head lol

originally she was like, a brown and white fox with two tails and her special power was that she could use the tips of her tails to draw things made of shadows lmao. very edgy.. but it was everything to grade 6 me <3 (if youve been here for the longest time you might remember but shhh)

but now she's a part time astronaut who harvests stars for fuel and food on earth!! she drives her own spaceship called the moonfish, so just overall she has a very spacey theme and i like drawing her with stars or moons. her motif is supposed to be the five pointed star :o)

i also forget to draw it sometimes, but she has a dog collar that turns into a space helmet when you pull the tag! id like to imagine what work is like for her and what led her to become an astronaut, and maybe some stuff about her personal life like when she was younger. will probably make a doodle dump for that

despite being an astronaut, shes actually not that good at math and science and i figured its fine because thats not as needed in her world? theres probably magic if she can walk around on the moon in a dress so its more a fantasy or dream thing to me

before she was living on a house on the moon so she could go to space all the time, but since she has vincent and anton now i think she probably stays with them on earth <3 would be cool if she kind of tethers her ship to the house like a balloon, i should probably draw that later lol

speaking of!! shes in a relationship with @poicyss oc anton!!! i thought they would get along well, esp since auggie is a huge chatterbox so i think she'd be a good conversation partner. but theyre so cute!!! shes extremely curious and doesn't really give herself a reason to dislike others until theyre mean to her, so she'd definitely want to get to know anton!! theyre in love your honor!!!

their son vincent was also meant to be a one off because i wanted to see what their child would look like, like one of those crack ship memes lol. obviously i got attached cause hes so dang cute and he probably has a mix between his parents personalities ^^

i talk bow's ear off about them constantly but like!! theyre so cute!!!! my blorbos!!!!!!

these are presto and soleil!! theyre rival magicians who hate each others guts for stealing the others spotlight all the time. they both became world famous magicians around the same time so they've been fighting each other for attention for a while lol

the thing is that their magician identities are secret from their civilian identities! this means absolutely no one is allowed to know their civilian selves AND nobody in their personal lives know they happen to be the magician. also, the names presto and soleil are their stage names!!

so what happens is that they happen to enter the same apartment at the same time as theyre changing out of their costumes, which means they accidentally discover each others civilian identities and magician identities lol!!

the reason why this happens is that they both happened to apply for an apartment, but the building manager (mrs. koi) is very old and forgetful so she accidentally gave both of them the same apartment thinking she only gave it to one of them.

the other apartments in the area are also too expensive because theyre bigger and newer compared to mrs. koi's apartments, so they reluctantly become roommates >;o)

thats basically the context for them but i really have no idea what else i wanna do with their story, probably just roommate shenanigans and shit lol. im a huge sucker for rivals to friends/lovers so this is constantly on my mind lmao

i was also thinking of making other tenants for the story so maybe like eccentric old man, single mom and her five year old, idk? theyre just a bunch of silly little guys to me :o)

also i think they'd each have their own style? i imagine presto is more of a stage magician with the wand, and he enters the stage through a huge top hat, just playing with classic magician cliches. soleil is probably more like mind boggling shit on americas got talent, maybe street magicians and a phantom thief kind of vibe

these guys are minor inconvenience (min) and delaney!!! their story kind of revolves around luck and coincidence lol

min comes from a family of internationally wanted phantom thieves who hide out in a small town. he's actually a red panda adopted into a family of raccoons, but the thing is that they're colorblind so they can't really tell the difference. the only things that really set him apart is that he's not extremely smart (but decently smart) and he's very clumsy, unlike his family

this means his family doesnt ever take him with them on heists, but only because his clumsiness could give them away and get them all caught. eventually he gets fed up with being left out and decides to do his own "heists" as practice to get better so he can come with them someday

but since he knows most of the people hes stealing from in town, he doesn't actually keep what he steals. he just does it to try and get better with lock picking, disabling alarms, etc. and eventually puts everything somewhere the owner can find it

also extremely important to know is that even though min is extremely clumsy, he actually has stupidly good luck which balances it out. somehow, even if he trips on nothing, he will manage to land a sick backflip on the way down. there is no explanation for why this happens. his family thinks it's because he has a four leafed clover birthmark in an embarrassing place.

the thing is that his luck only works on him, not on his surroundings. so if he was in a group of people that get splashed with mud, he would be the only person not to get splashed no matter how close you are to him. this leads to a lot of misunderstandings lol

on the other hand, delaney is normal and she really had nothing to do with him until she was walking home and somehow found him stuck in a vent trying to escape. she felt bad for him and helped him out, mostly because she didn't know he was stealing and thought he was just dumb, but that kind of triggered a bunch of coincidences where they cross paths, specifically while min is in the middle of stealing and delaney eventually helps him out

they don't even really want to see each other until one time delaney finds him and he gets hurt trying to climb out a broken window. she patches him up and they kind of have like some sort of acquaintance relationship to the point where they wave when they see each other, and eventually meet up on purpose EHEHE

#THAT FELT SO GOOD TO LET OUT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #long post #ask #oc tag #my oc #my ocs #augusta #vincent #delaney #minor inconvenience #soleil #presto #mrs. koi

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smoosnoom · 1 year

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can’t believe that i finally decided to comment all ur works that i read before daily compliments.

“let me steal this moment from you” became my first victim. tbh i haven’t read it since november i think?? and part of my brain which is responsible for memory is too occupied by remembering facts about u so i don’t remember plot sorry. this one is gonna be like the first time 🙏🏻

“If anything, it’s a miracle any of them are still awake and functioning.” no fr. they spent like a week in that uncomfortable van and the first thing they did after returning to hawkins is cleaned the cabin?? not even shower.

“At least it would save the catastrophe of seeing Argyle and Ted Wheeler interact.” ohh, i’d like to see that

“It’s blue. He imagines painting a yellow sun on it.” 🥺🥺 bc he’s yellow and sunshine and lights up every room he walks in. sorry i love him so much

“He wonders if he's more of a monster than a mistake.” ok i had 10 minutes tears break after that 🧍🏻‍♀️ maybe i Am crybaby idk

“He’s pretty sure it’s the first time they’ve laughed together since they’ve arrived back in Hawkins.” poor boys haven’t laughed in Weeks :( i wish i could fix everything for them

will wants to make “smalltown boy” with mike so bad and i can’t blame him. my boy deserves be as far away from hawkins as possible.

“He doesn’t have any time for self-doubt when Mike turns his hand over in Will’s grasp, until their hands are properly entwined” it’s all them. best friends, each other reassurance and safe space, soulmates if u want. i just love them ughhh. that’s why they hits so hard.

“we aren’t kids anymore” omg how do u exactly know where to put references?

“And we got to bury Jonathan in a bunch of sand, which was pretty fun.” oh wait!! i remember ur Fantastic fan art! writer And artist how talented u are!!

“Night Seven” ofc its night seven. love that it could have been 5+1 but it’s byler so it’s seven instead.

“and it seems to be the right move when Mike lets out an appreciative hum” my “naturally good kisser will” agenda never dies. he just knows what to do he didn’t need practice 🙏🏻

“He probably looks like a kissed-dumb idiot.” he is. good for him!

god, ilysm. ur so talented u have no idea. and u make me feel things.

i love that fic so bad and if u like it too u should thank moon for it!!

if it helps i dont even Remember most of "let me steal this moment", every time i click post it's like every associated memory just vanishes from my brain

im glad u get to experience it all over again i wish i could do the same with other fics </3

"the first thing they did after returning to hawkins is cleaned the cabin?? not even shower." U ARE SO RIGHT i thought abt that the first time i watched vol 2 like what do u mean u arent even going to change !!!! u have been in those close for Days !!!!

i almost did write a ted wheeler and argyle interaction . Almost

that is so real . will byers my sunshine sweetpie

HEOEOKPJY IM SO SOSRRY

so real and true ! i need these two far far away from hawkins and HAPPYYY

u get me !!!!!! theyve alwyas been best friends first and thats why they hit so different

oh god not the drawing 😭😭😭 can we pretend that Didn't happen . maybe . my artistry isnt grea t

IM SO HAPYPPYY U NOTICED !!!! night seven !!!! it was a seven !!!!!!!

will is just naturally good at it idk what to tell u . yes he has never kissed anyone Yes he is a loser yes hes also great as kissing . sorry

so honored to have made u feel things <3 alya my beloved it is Always the best day of my life whenever u decide to read something of mine :D

#daily alya #/ask #thnakyouthnskou

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slowdesire · 2 years

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oh my god ur post about being uncomfortable around ppl who know you and everything from ghosting and to moving accounts and tumblr being the only safe social media bc of its anonymity,,, i've been struggling with this for years and i didnt even know it had a name of its own, i thought it was just how i was or maybe a symptom of regular anxiety at worst and idk if this is something you'll relate to but its especially anxiety inducing for me when ppl who know me from different settings meet and i suddenly have to reconcile who i am with both people, or how ive always been okay with strangers seeing my art but never ppl that actually know me bc then theyd know too much. anyways sorry this is rambly and ik u said what u like abt this site is not having to talk to anyone so pls dont feel pressured to respond i just had to write this down somewhere bc it is a Revelation

it's totally fine that you sent this in! i actually deal better with asks and especially anon asks compared to messages. hope it's okay im responding, if you need me to take this down just let me know :-)

im glad you could relate to my post (which i deleted, sorry😭) on some level bc i know how great it can feel to be seen or understood by others in that sense. i feel the exact same way as you in terms of struggling with people from different social circles meeting, thus making you reconcile different sides of you in a way... i feel like that's an experience a lot of people have, not just limited to avpd or neurodivergence or anything, but it really is such an alienating conflicting kind of feeling. this was especially hard for me whenever i'd date anyone because other than when i dated a friend we all knew, my close friends would always want me to introduce my partner and even if that was perfectly reasonable i was always just internally like sorry i can't do it.... i can't let any of you meet one another. right now im wondering if that was one sign i wasn't all too ready to be in romantic relationships (and im still grappling with my conflicted feelings abt romance and being single rn). that was a huge tangent on my end lol but im just like you, i actually thought i was struggling with general anxiety for nearly forever!!! so the diagnosis for avpd was kind of shocking ... but also made a lot of sense in retrospect. though even right now, after several months, i don't quite know how to deal with it bc i can't afford therapy rn. but the label and knowledge abt it has been useful nonetheless. there isn't as much research on it and it's not as widely talked about, so i'm still trying to figure out what will help me out.. probably DBT (because CBT tends to stress me out for some reason). ANYWAYS that was another tangent ... im not saying you should say you have avpd or anything bc really there are so many overlaps with general anxiety, social anxiety, avpd, and even other personality disorders but !!!! i am just glad my random vent resonated with you and helped you reflect on things. im always trying to reflect too, since this is something i struggle with pretty much everyday in more aspects than just social life, so it's really nice to hear from you :-) making each other feel less alone :-)

#ans #omg i rambled hardcore

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