Giving up for today, gonna finish tomorrow. My hand is covered in silver glitter bc that fucking paper just refuses to cooperate with gel pens. 😭

i change my hair like i change my underwear. it’s still brown but like slightly reddish and i’m iffy about it?? opinions please 😬 i tried to do it in the sunlight

Comics making 2 final: part 1/3

Hi! Very personal peach stuff beneath the cut, don't like don't read. (tw for mental health and medication)

If you haven't figured it out by now, I am bipolar. I've talked about it here and there in very broad, non specified terms but haven't really done a post where I say it point blank because I just never felt the need, however, I do feel like we've built a pretty supportive, lovely community here and I wanted to explain where I am mentally and why updates might be lagging (as I've gotten a few messages asking about SM and DD). I also think it's important to you know, talk about it a little bit. When I was younger, I would have really liked to talk to someone who had their head on straight and lived a happy, fulfilled life on medication. I would've liked to talk someone who made it through. Maybe me talking about it will make someone feel less alone, or less scared (because once upon a time, I was fully fucking terrified). Or maybe it won't do anything, who knows.

Also, let me be clear: I am not ashamed of who I am or how my brain works, I just feel this has always been too personal to share on here. I'm starting to shift my perspective on the sharing bit, a little. Obviously.

Anyway, the winter to spring transition can be really rough if your brain is spicy like mine. I know most people love the days getting longer, the sun shining on their face, the sky turning brilliantly blue everyday, winter turns to spring and you might get a little bit of spring fever, a little bit excited, inspired, etc... and I feel that way too, except it makes it way too easy to roll upward into mania. It's like one stumble or fall- and the next thing you know you're falling down the rabbit hole. Mania is not some fun little day trip where you get bangs and stay awake until the sun comes up, it is not the romantic mood swing that some people think it is, it is dangerous and could potentially derail my life.

I am feeling particularly... "disrupted" this spring, and have been working really hard to keep the boat from rocking, so to speak. I am overall a very healthy, well managed person (on medication- that saved my life) but the boat is rocking a little bit, and things may need to be leveled out, or adjusted. It takes time and patience, and I am very grateful to have quality care (my psych is the best) that knows me very well and hears me out.

The good thing is I'm still writing little by little and hope to have updates for ongoing works up soon, and in the mean time, if you need someone to talk to, if you feel like you can relate to this, I'm here. I appreciate your patience and understanding in regard to the delay in updates!

Why is this so friggin true tho (btw not real)

I don't know why I feel randomly sad and lonely every Saturday and Sunday.

I can't believe i finally said my parents, "mujhe bahir ki duniya dekhni hai, doston ke saath ghumana hai, ghar se bahir nikalna hai." and they said, "nikal jaa hamare ghar se."

main khuli kitaab hu , aur tum anpadh

I wanna meet Vessel and just talk. I feel like he'd be a fascinating person to listen to. I don't wanna know anything personal (except who hurt him 😤) but I'm so curious to know where he draws his metaphors and imagery from. Like does he do a lot of research or is he just a super smart dude with lots of random knowledge? What's his inspiration behind music? I'm so curious how he and ii met and how the idea of Sleep Token formed.

…when time is linear. Feels bad, man.

I may have gotten myself into a pickle with print prospects and deadlines. Society6 seems to have eaten all of my old files in the snafu of the last few years and I will need to write to support to see if they can be recovered. In the meantime, I’m waiting to be accepted at inprnt. The additional worry is if the print quality with s6 has declined in this time. I would hate to have subpar prints floating out into the world.

I don’t know what I expected.

tfw you start reading a fanfic and expect something kinky and smutty but instead it ends up unearthing your deepest traumas

My brain is just... Duh! 😡

---

Me: I'm tired of seeing my ex in my dreams. It hurts. I wake up exhausted and cry almost the whole day.

Brain: *another ex*

Me: Um... Okay, but why?

Brain: *shrugs*

Me: don't tell me you don't have enough imagination. We write a fanfiction. We literally consume content with Norman Reedus more than needed. Should we try something from this, huh?

Brain: *spicy dream with Jeffrey Dean Morgan*

Me: ...

Brain: *ok, take your damn Norman as a cute dork here, but nothing more*

Me: Mmm, well... Nice try. Still strange why, but not bad. Good job!

Sooo, should I write smut with Negan then? :D

Personal Peach things but:

In case you wanted a useless piece of information: Coyotes are so fucking loud at night. Like, ungodly loud. They howl like little demons. It's worse right now because it's mating season, and all I can hear is them singing their crazy little coyote songs all. night. long.

the couch feud in my apartment building is tearing our community apart