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#s lion is canon in my heart

awearywritersworld · 5 months

Text

there can be no covenants between men and lions

ryomen sukuna x reader summary: sukuna would rather contemplate your murder than come to terms with his feelings for you, but you call him out on his bullshit. w/c: 3k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. angst to fluff. aged up!yuuji. heavy kissing. features yuuji x reader and he is, of course, best boy. cursing. sukuna decides he wants to kill you (so obviously there are mentions of murder and such) but cant even stand the sight of you upset, what a goof. i'd once again like to think sukuna's not too ooc in this but im still more than likely delusional. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: i was so touched by all of the love that part one received, i wanted to try my hand at part two. i hope i've done it justice! just as part one references homer's the odyssey, this references homer's the illiad because sukuna is very hot and well read. achilles, the protagonist of the novel, is discussed. i'm definitely open to writing a part three, because this one is much heavier on the angst and i miss soft sukuna from part one. series masterlist // masterlist

you and yuuji rarely argue, but when you do, it's often over his aversion toward seriousness, even when a situation calls for it. though you really should have kept your mouth shut, because in this moment, you'd give anything to see his typical carefree expression.

his eyes are regarding you intently, taking in your flustered appearance with knitted brows.

"yuuji..." you trail off, wracking your brain for an explanation of your current predicament.

despite the fact he regained control of his body only moments ago, one of his hands is curled around the back of your neck, while the other is resting on your hip.

"baby, what happened?" he presses, the tone of his voice entirely unreadable.

"s-sukuna," is all you can manage to choke out.

his eyes darken immediately, his jaw tensing in a way that intimidates you. "he hurt you."

you really can't tell if it's a question or a statement, and your response comes a little too quickly. "no! that's not... no."

the next few seconds tick by in a slow sort of agony, heat creeping up your cheeks.

he notices for the first time that his head is eerily quiet. no snide remarks, no scathing commentary. just his own thoughts as he pieces together the situation.

his gaze drops to the angry, red marks littering your neck and you watch in helpless horror as understanding passes his features.

"oh."

the word hangs in the air as you await his reaction, fully anticipating disgust and betrayal. you're positive it's only a matter of time before he throws you out of the apartment and tells you to never come back.

what you don't expect, however, is the way his shoulders relax as the tension leaves his face.

he straightens himself, arms falling to his sides, but he doesn't put any distance between your bodies.

"how long have you...?" he's not quite sure how to phrase the question.

"a few months. this was the first time anything... um... happened. we usually just talk."

he tilts his head to the side, so you clarify. "after you've fallen asleep."

mulling over the information, he hums in response, looking thoughtful for a few more seconds. then, his usual demeanor is back and he grabs your hand. "wanna get dinner? i'm starving!"

he tugs you a few feet toward the door before you come to your senses. "woah, woah. wait a second, yu."

when he looks back at you expectantly, you find that his face holds not one hint of bitterness or judgement. "aren't you angry?"

you're amazed to find that he's the one looking sheepish.

"how could i be? it's not exactly easy to be with me when i have a thousand year old curse rattling around in my body, but you stay anyway," he expresses, making your heart soften. "i just want you to be safe, so i'll take whatever relationship the two of have now over him being a threat to you."

as your hands reach up to cradle his face and your eyes sparkle with adoration, you briefly wonder how you ever found such a sweet man. he places a quick kiss to your lips, the smile on his face easy going as ever. "sooooo, i'm thinking takoyaki or maybe udon—"

"we can get whatever you want," you glance at the spatters of blood across his chest left there from the mission, no doubt from sukuna's careless slaughter. "as long as you go wash up first."

"right!" he agrees quickly, bounding off to the bathroom.

you stand alone in the middle of your living room, left with the ghost of both yuuji and sukuna's lips against yours and a sense of bewildered excitement.

back in his prison, however, sukuna is furious with himself. he should have let you die that day he kept you from being run over. better yet, he should have killed you with his own hands before the brat won back control of his body.

he is a terrible being that delights in carnage, a fact that's well known even centuries later. so why, when he could have done anything in the world, did he go to you? you even asked that same question before you—

he rejects the memory of you pressing your lips to his disdainfully.

your foolishness and your naivete are revolting. your softness and your pliancy are nauseating.

he shouldn't have been anywhere near you, if not to rip your obnoxious heart from your chest like he'd always planned. it was a situation he'd dreamt about and now it's slipped through his fingers, even though those same fingers had graced your fragile little neck.

you were nothing more than a clueless mouse in the jaws of a snake, and though the pains of hunger have been tearing at its stomach for years now, the serpent let itself starve.

sukuna retreats to his domain, fingers prodding at his temples irritably. he allows himself to wallow for a few hours, shutting out both you and the brat.

then, steeling his resolve, he begins to watch and wait like the predator he knows himself to be.

lulled into a false sense of security regarding your safety, it's clear that yuuji has let his guard down. just barely so, but enough that sukuna can see a few weaknesses in his chains. ironic seeing that, now more than ever, the king of curses wants you dead.

it goes without saying that he promptly ceases his nightly interactions with you. it's beneath him, wasting his time with a human. he knows that now.

but while he may not speak to you, he cannot refrain from stealing glances as the days stretch on. you're usually reading, completely oblivious to his watchful eye. he convinces himself it's simply to keep tabs on you, as he's deemed you his foremost enemy.

he's not sure how much time has passed when you begin calling out for him in hushed whispers after yuuji falls asleep, the hurt and confusion in your voice plain to him. it's irksome, and evidently, you're incapable of taking a hint.

his silence becomes more painful with each turn of the moon. you're a bit mortified to find that you genuinely miss him, so you just want answers. did he finally realize that you're nothing special, not worth bothering with?

eventually, growing restless, you all but beg him. "sukuna, please. talk to me. what happened? what'd i do wrong?" his chest tightens with what he believes is vexation. "you can't just make me like you and then disappear. you can't kiss me like that and then—"

"you insolent, maddening little creature!" his eye flies open just in time to see you gasp, your body jerking away from him. "shut up already! can't you see i want nothing to do with you? don't you tire of being pathetic?"

you don't dignify him with a response, swallowing thickly and turning away from him.

finally, he thinks, some fucking quiet. though if he's gotten what he wanted, why does his chest still ache?

he stares at the back of your form until the sun rises.

sukuna is no simpleton. he can be patient when he is sure of a reward, but he's thrilled that the perfect opportunity arises just two days after your encounter.

yuuji is exhausted. gojo kept him out all last night, despite the grueling mission he had today, and when he all but stumbles through your apartment door, the moon is already high in the sky.

you never mention the change in your relationship with sukuna to yuuji. even though he was so understanding, you still feel a touch awkward discussing it further. and maybe in the back of your mind, you're holding out hope that it might go back to the way it was.

sukuna watches through yuuji's eyes when you greet him, your expression half concern and half 'i told you so'. nights out with gojo usually lead to this very situation.

he showers while you finish cooking dinner and once you both eat, he helps you clean up despite his exhaustion. after whispering his thanks and pressing a kiss to your temple, he retires to bed.

you promise you'll join him soon, but sukuna knows it probably isn't true. following his outburst, you've taken to staying in the living room until you're ready to sleep.

yuuji's out before his head hits the pillow and nearly two hours later, you're still not in bed. sukuna's eager, but waits until he's sure the brat's deep in his slumber before he tries to take over. it's relatively easy, and he pushes down yuuji's unconscious mind as far as he can before rising to his feet.

this is finally it. he stretches his limbs lazily, a dangerous smirk settling on his lips. the floor creaks with each step he takes, but he pays no mind to stealth. you're no match for him.

tonight, you'll be his first victim of many and the thought of making up for his past misjudgement has him giddy with excitement.

but the sight that greets him upon exiting the bedroom— you curled into yourself on the couch, your shoulders shaking with quiet sobs— it stops him in his tracks.

he wants to move, more than anything, so what the fuck is wrong with him? is the brat taking over already?

and why is that uncomfortable sensation making it's home in the center of his chest once more?

when you notice his presence, your face shifts to him and reveals your wide, teary eyes. it's clear you're surprised by his appearance, but you quickly bury your face in your knees.

you just want him to leave you alone. you hate him for what he said, for what he did. he forced his way into your life, made you care about him, and then he just vanished. he's cruel and you feel like an idiot because you should have known that from the beginning. or maybe you did and he just made you forget.

"go away. i.. i don't want to see you."

he's disbelieving, for a brief moment, that here you are giving him orders while he stands in the doorway with the intention of taking your life.

he moves toward you, invading your space in a way that is meant to be intimidating, but when you look up at him, every emotion ranging from sadness to rejection to indignation is etched into your features. though the terror he hoped to inspire is noticeably absent.

"i said go away!" you swiftly stand up, your hands meeting squarely with his chest as you push him with every ounce of power you have.

you may as well have shoved a brick wall, as he doesn't move even a fraction of an inch. he seizes one of your wrists anyway.

"what is it you think you're doing, exactly?" he spits.

"let go of me!" you beat against his chest with the hand he left free until his fingers wrap around that wrist too.

"enough."

he's certain there isn't a being that has attacked him (if he can even call that an attack) and lived to speak of it, not once in an entire millennia.

so just end the insolent brat and be done with it, he urges himself.

but he can't and he doesn't understand why, so he just stares down at you.

"what the fuck do you want?" you mean for it to come out forcefully and full of spite, but your voice cracks before you can finish.

an excellent question, indeed. what does he want?

he doesn't answer you and it's so goddamn frustrating that you begin to cry again, rambling to fill the discomforting silence. "you've already told me i'm pitiful and annoying. it's clear you think my company is insufferable, that i'm undesirable—"

that ache in his chest is unbearable now. it claws at his ribcage and shreds the flesh of his heart. it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably and rings shrilly in his ears. he can't even hear you anymore, but he can still see the tears sliding down your cheeks and the way you gasp between words.

the truth of the matter crashes down on him and the devastating weight of it is so crushing it squeezes the air from his lungs.

that feeling in his chest isn't annoyance or repugnance. its anguish— the kind that rattles his bones and leaves him sick with regret.

it's because you're in pain, and worse yet, he is the cause of it.

sukuna pushes you back against the wall before you can comprehend what's happening. his hands find either side of your face and you're alarmed to find that he looks... frightened.

"what are you doing to me?" he pleads for an explanation, because he sure as hell doesn't have one.

how can one little human hold such power over him? it's unnatural. it defies all logic and reason.

you stare at him, open mouthed. his face is so close that his breath fans across your skin and it makes you feel dizzy.

"what are you talking about?" you finally ask.

"you should be dead right now," he frets, despair seeping into every word. "it should be easy."

it dawns on you that you should probably feel afraid, but you just don't. his touch is firm, but careful. and there's no malice to be found behind his eyes. "you're not making any sense."

he thinks back on the time you've spent together, trying to figure out how the hell he ended up here— him at your mercy, rather than you at his. he remembers the first time he made you laugh and considers that it may have been the beginning of his unraveling. for the following two weeks, you both discussed homer at length as you made your way through his poetry.

"there can be no covenants between men and lions. wolves and lambs can never be of one mind, but hate each other through and through." you blink at him, recognizing at once that he's quoting the illiad. his voice is low and unsteady in a way that suggests desperation. it makes you shiver. "therefore there can be no understanding between you and me, nor may there be any covenants between us, till one or other shall fall."

your eyes narrow as you begin to understand his his internal struggle, though you're unsure if he's attempting to reason with you or with himself.

"you quote achilles, and rightfully so i suppose, given your common qualities— exasperating pride and a penchant for meaningless violence." he looks relieved, like your seeming agreement eases his mind. it's short lived. "but you forget his passion."

his gaze shifts away from you, his hands withdrawing from your face.

"his passion?" he repeats as if it's the most incredulous thing he's ever heard.

"by the end of the story, is he not acquainted with regret, sympathy, and respect? he doesn't remain blind to the error of his ways forever."

"only a foolish human could make such fanciful deductions," he chides through gritted teeth, still refusing to meet your eye.

you actually laugh at him. "perhaps you shouldn't call upon achilles to make your point after all. at least he grows out of his utterly childish view of the world."

"how dare you?" he demands, his features growing wild as one hand finds your throat (his touch not nearly harsh enough to cause you any discomfort), the other colliding with the wall beside your head. his display doesn't fool you though. "you witless, wretched brat! you're nothing more than a blip in a universe you cannot even begin to understand. you sicken me."

you throw achilles' words in his face just as easily as he did to you. "hateful to me as the gates of hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."

his gaze hardens, and for a split second, you think you may have been mistaken in your fearlessness, but then his fingers thread themselves through your hair and he pulls your lips to his.

it's rough and commanding, and he tells himself it's only to get you to shut up. to wipe that expression of smug pity from your face.

it's not because, despite the fact you know how awful he is, you're convinced there's something salvageable in him too. nor is it because you tyrannize his every passing thought. and it's certainly not because the feeling of you pressed against him brings him more satisfaction than ripping the hearts from the chests of a hundred men.

ultimately, his denial is overshadowed by his desire. your touch is nothing short of needy as you tug at his shirt, an attempt to bring him even closer, and god does he hope that means you feel just as desperate as he does. he deserves at least a little consolation.

as his hands roam every valley and curve of your body, he deems it unfair that a being whose very existence spells hell on earth should be so taken with such a devastatingly divine creature.

"i've wanted you so terribly," he mumbles against your mouth before he can stop himself.

"then fuck you for making us both wait," you breath out.

his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips in response and his lips shift to your neck. "watch that pretty little mouth of yours, brat."

he nips at the spot just below your ear hard enough that it makes you gasp, doubtless a punishment for your impudence. you recover quickly though, wasting no time with your flippant reply. "or what? you'll go back to plotting my murder?"

he pulls away from you abruptly, sighing deeply and pinching the bridge of his nose. "you truly have zero sense of self preservation, don't you?"

"guess so," you shrug, smiling at him bashfully. "can we watch a movie? i'll even let you pick."

you ask as if it's the most normal request in the world. as if he isn't a thousand year old curse that would be off turning the city to ash were he not here with you instead.

he rolls his eyes, scoffing at the ridiculousness of it all. "fine."

#m!writes #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna imagines #sukuna angst #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna imagines #ryomen sukuna angst #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jjk angst

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fangirl-writes · 2 years

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Wolfie

Jasper Whitlock/Hale x Fem!Werewolf!Reader

Request:

hiiii! idk if you’re still writing about jasper, but i was wondering if maybe you could do like where jasper is dating a wolf, like from jacobs family, and they are fighting the newborns and jasper nervous for her, and like after the fight the volturi comes and the reader stays with jasper and like clings too him, but she’s still like in wolf form? i don’t know if that makes sense but i’ve been trying to find a story like that but i can’t sadly and i rlly like ur stories so i was hoping you’d write it:) if not it’s totally fine, i totally understand if you cant!

much love xxx<3

Warning(s): Canon-level violence and related mentions of blood, broken bones, etc.

Notes: My first twilight imagine! Yay! This is way too long but I hope you like it. I had to rewatch Eclipse to write this. Honestly, the movies are pretty good all things considered.

Summary: Wolves and Vampires are meant to be mortal enemies. But, occasionally, there are times they work well together. Fighting newborn vampires is one of those times. Of course, you and Jasper never liked the whole rivalry in the first place.

You met Jasper in the woods.

The only place you could go to be what you truly were. Do what you truly loved. And that was running.

Whether it was in wolf-form or not, you would run through the trees and feel the wind whipping at your face. It was freeing, you felt connected to your roots and to the wolf inside you.

You usually ran alone, since no one could ever keep up with you. Not even Jacob. Hell, Jacob’s motorcycle couldn’t keep up with you.

Your dad, Billy, said it was a special spiritual connection you had, being able to run so fast without shifting into wolf form.

A running partner would be nice though, someone to talk to while running instead of just filtering between your thoughts and Sam’s, and Jared’s, and Paul’s until you got far enough away for radio silence.

You thought about asking Sam a couple of times, but he was such a stick in the mud you knew he’d kill your vibe if he even agreed to go. And Paul and Jared got on your nerves so you didn’t even let your mind go there.

It was kind of lonely sometimes.

But not today.

You weren’t sure if it was werewolf instincts or basic human intuition, but you could tell someone (or something) was following you.

If it was Jacob or any of the other boys, you could recognize their scent a mile away, but there was nothing. You couldn’t smell anything (wasn’t close enough) and there was nothing to see or hear, but it was definitely there.

The scent of fresh blood nearby made it seem like it was a predator. Perhaps a mountain lion or a real wolf, which didn’t worry you as much as the alternative. If push came to shove, you could take one of those things.

Something flashed through the trees overhead and you gasped, feet digging into the dirt as you skidded to a stop.

Your heart was pounding as you glared at the forest around you. Something was there. You could smell it.

“Where are you?” You said, softly, more to yourself than to the creature stalking you.

You heard leaves rustle and followed the sound, turning in circles and getting increasingly more worried as the thing circled you. “Show yourself, coward!”

God, you wished you could get that telepathic link back and call for help. You supposed you could shift and howl if things got really desperate. But that sounded humiliating, especially if this thing was a vampire.

A large sense of calm suddenly washed over you, the weight of worry lifting from your shoulders and you sighed almost involuntarily.

A man walked out from behind a tree.

“Sorry,” he said. “I had to get close enough to calm you down. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

He was blond and lean and he smelled like rotten candy. His skin was riddled with scars, spaced thickly together on his neck and jaw. Others lined his arms in a faded white that told stories. He had been in more fights than you could imagine, and he'd never lost.

His eyes were strikingly gold, but there was a darkness behind them.

You had the feeling you’d do anything for him. If he asked you to kill yourself you would without hesitation.

And oh- oh no.

Panic began to build again and the handsome stranger strengthened his gaze on you, your emotions shifting back to calm. But there was something else, too.

That desperate, longing feeling…the strong desire had vanished too.

“Wh-what did you do to me?”

The man’s face softened. “I just calmed you down. That’s my ability; I can control emotions.”

“A-ability? What are you-“

You felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over you as the realization set in. It made sense: the speed, the smell, the golden eyes.

Your imprint was a vampire.

“I’m Jasper,” He said. “I know your scared. This is not a normal thing… at all, but Alice- uh, a girl in my family, she can see the future. And she saw us, together.”

It was all too much at once. You felt like you were drowning. You couldn’t get over the simple fact that a vampire was your imprint.

The creature that caused your transformation- your extremely painful and terrifying transformation- was your soulmate. The perfect match for you.

God, your ancestors must be rolling in their graves.

“I-I’m sorry…this is just so strange. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it…” you said.

“That’s alright.” He- Jasper replied. “Can I come closer?”

He was stood about ten feet away from you, a respectable distance, which you were thankful for.

You took a moment to consider before replying. He was a vampire, he could kill you without a second thought, but he was also your imprint. He’d come so close to Quilete land just to find you and he’d been nothing but kind since he revealed himself.

“Okay… yeah, yeah, you can come closer.”

He smiled, relieved, and closed the distance between you.

As he neared, you realized how tall he was. But instead of threatening, it was charming.

And his scars, you realized with horror, were bite marks.

Jasper chuckled. “I didn’t think the wet dog smell would go away, but I was prepared to make sacrifices.”

You smiled, feeling more at ease (whether that was yourself or his powers, you didn’t know, but would come to learn the difference). “And you don’t smell like rotten candy anymore.”

That made him laugh. “I didn’t know we had such an aroma.”

That desire was starting to creep back in. You wanted to know everything about him, wanted to be near him all the time, wanted to smell the sweetness of him. It was a pleasant feeling and wasn’t unwelcome any longer. You guessed that’s why most shifters felt happiest by their imprintee.

He reached up a hand and caressed your cheek.

“Your hands are cold,” you said.

“I’m sorry.” He replied, retracting his hand.

“No, no,” you grabbed it gently and placed it back on your cheek. “I like it.”

If vampires could blush you were sure he would’ve.

You kept one hand over his and used the other to feel up his arm and over his chest, trying to commit every curve to memory.

“And you’re so warm,” he whispered, placing his other hand on your waist and pulling you ever so closer.

“I guess we’re a good match then,” you replied, just as softly. It felt strange to be so intimate with someone you’d just met. But nothing had ever felt so right.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked.

You hummed. “Yes, please,”

His lips were cold, like the rest of his skin, but they were soft and gentle, easing into the kiss. Your stomach fluttered and you shivered as he ran his hands up your arms before curling around your back.

Your fingers knotted in his hair, pulling him closer, wanting more.

That desire inside strengthened, but you supposed that was just the way it felt to kiss your soulmate. And, god, did it feel good. The same hands that could end your life in a single motion were holding you tenderly.

You finally pulled away to catch your breath (Jasper could’ve stayed right there kissing you forever) and pressed your forehead against his.

“By the way,” you said. “My name is Y/N.”

It was the scandal of the century when you left the pack to be with a vampire.

Your dad didn’t like it, but he supported your choice. And, unlike your brother, he still talked to you when you visited.

Jacob practically disowned you. He hated vampires and it only got worse when Bella Swan fell in love with Edward.

Jacob felt like the Cullens were taking away everyone he loved and they were going to turn them into cold, heartless bloodsuckers.

Which was preposterous at best. All the Cullens were very aware of themselves and what it means to be a vampire. Most of them didn’t have a choice in the matter, being what they are. And despite them not beating, they still had hearts.

Hearts that welcomed you and loved you the moment you stepped through their door.

Well, Rosalie needed some convincing and Edward was less than thrilled, but the others were great!

Of course, it was an adjustment having an alive person in the house and not wanting to rip their throat out. You just made sure to avoid bleeding at any cost, as if that wasn’t something you already did.

Alice immediately accepted you as her sister and you thanked her for leading Jasper to you, which she insisted wasn’t necessary.

And Bella, the girl you once babysat over summer, was surprised to see you when she visited with Edward the first time.

“Y/N?” She said when you came into the room with Jasper.

The two of you had just been out hunting/running and you smiled wide when you saw her. “Bella!”

You guys hugged.

“Wha- why are you here? Jacob said you weren’t around anymore.”

“Um. I’m not, sort of.” You replied. “Let’s talk in the other room shall we?”

“What’s going on, are you a vampire, too?” Bella asked.

“I can’t believe you know that already, but no, I’m not a vampire. I’m...something else. I can’t tell you what I am, you know too much already. I’m with Jasper though. He’s, uh...he’s like my soulmate.”

“Soulmate?” Bella said. “Vampires have those?”

“I guess?”

Of course, Bella was the start of SO many more problems. James, Victoria, and Laurent, Bella’s papercut, the Cullens leaving town (and leaving you and Bella behind), Bella finding out about the pack, and the Volturi finding out about Bella and you.

But those events had brought an understanding between you and the boys.

Which brings you to where you were now, celebrating Bella’s graduation.

“Quil, Embry, Jake!” You threw yourself into each of their arms, hugging them. “So glad you guys came!”

Jasper was standing nearby, not one to leave your side very long, and Jacob shot him a sour look.

“Hey, Y/N!” Embry replied, ever the optimist. “You need to come visit again soon. Sam sucks as a wrestling referee.”

You laughed. “Give me a call next time and I’ll be there.”

“Will do.”

“Seth misses you, too,” Quil said. “Won’t shut up about how you made life with Leah more bearable.”

“Oh, you guys should leave her alone.” You chastised. “She’s just as sour as Sam, anyway,”

The boys shrugged and grinned. Neither conforming nor denying your words.

You glanced over to the stairway to see Bella and Jasper talking to Alice. Alice looked frightened. And that was never good.

“They’ll be here in four days,” Alice said, once the present Cullens and the four shifters gathered in a side room.

“This could turn into a bloodbath,” Carlisle said.

You exchanged a look with Jasper.

“Who’s behind it?” Edward asked.

“I didn’t see anyone I recognized.” Alice said. “Maybe one.”

“I know his face,” Edward said, reading Alice’s thoughts. “He’s local. Riley Biers...he didn’t start this.”

“Whoever did is staying out of the action.”

“Must be playing with the blind spots in your vision,” Carlisle said.

“Either way,” Jasper spoke up. “The army’s coming and there aren’t enough of us to protect the town.”

“Hold on,” Jacob said. “What damn army?”

“Newborns.” Carlisle explained. “Our kind.”

“What?” Jacob turned on you. “Did you know about this?”

You shrugged and smiled sheepishly. Yeah, you did.

“What are they after?” Embry asked.

“They were passing around Bella’s scent,” Alice said. “A red blouse.”

“They’re after Bella?” Jacob said. “What the hell does this mean?”

“It means an ugly fight,” Carlisle said. “With lives lost.”

Jacob looked to Quil and Embry, a decision being made between them.

“Alright,” He said. “We’re in.”

“No,”

“Bella-”

“You’ll get yourselves killed, no way.”

You sighed, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“I wasn’t asking for permission,” Jacob said, lowly.

“Edward,” Bella pleaded, looking towards her boyfriend to back her up.

He gave her no such rewards, looking between the boys and Bella before saying, “It means more protection for you.”

“No, I won’t let you do this, Jake,”

“He can take care of himself, Bella,” You said, glaring at her.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Then what was it?”

“Look, just because you decided to abandon them-”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you!”

“Enough!” Carlisle interrupted. “Jacob. Do you think Sam would agree to...an understanding?”

Jacob’s jaw tightened and he got that brooding look in his eye. “As long as we get to kill some vampires.”

Asshole.

“Jasper?”

You looked to your boyfriend who had been sitting quietly next to you for the better part of the conversation.

“They’ll give us the numbers,” he said. “Newborns won’t even know they exist. It’ll give us an edge.”

“We’ll need to coordinate.”

“Carlisle, they’re gonna get hurt.” Bella protested.

You bit down on your tongue and Jasper sent a wave of calm over you.

“We’ll all need some training,” Carlisle replied. “Fighting newborns requires knowledge that Jasper has. You’re welcome to join us.”

Jacob nodded. “Alright. Name the time and place.”

“Jake. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Bella, this is what we do.” Jacob replied, icily. “You should be happy. Look at us. Working together.”

He looked over at you. “And you are the one that wanted us to get along, right?”

“Asshole.” You said, a bit of a smile tugging at your lips

“Bitch.” He replied, smirking.

After that you returned to the Cullen house. Not much was said as you and Jasper lounged on the couch, reading. You could tell he was thinking about the approaching fight and his past battles because he never turned a page.

When Edward returned from dropping off Bella, you could tell by the way he stalked into the room that he was looking for an argument.

“Must you always provoke her?” He asked.

You looked up from your book. “What, did the princess complain about me the whole way home?”

The disgusted look on Edward’s face only grew at your reply. “What’s your problem with her? I thought you and her were friends.”

You snapped your book shut. “Look. She may have you and my brother wrapped around her little finger, but not me. Someone has to be the bearer of bad news that the world doesn’t revolve around Bella Swan.”

“She’s in danger, Y/N. The least you could do is try to be civil.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that she was the only life that mattered here-”

“Stop.” Jasper said, sternly. The snapping of his book closed filling the room and shutting the two of you up. “Edward’s right. If you can’t keep this little rivalry you have-”

“Rivalry?” You were standing now, absolutely aghast at his accusation.

“Y/N-” He began, reaching out for you, eyes trained on you.

“Don’t.” You spat. “Don’t play with my emotions right now. Don’t you dare.”

He had the decency to look guilty about it.

You stormed out of the room, making sure to knock into Edward’s shoulder as you headed for the balcony.

The anger was bubbling up. If you didn’t leave now you’d shift in the house and destroy something or hurt someone. And it helped that you couldn’t stand being in the same room as those two right now.

You climbed onto the railing and dove off, shifting halfway down and landing on all fours. You took off running into the woods, making sure to howl to really twist the knife in Jasper’s gut.

Rivalry? You thought. Rivalry?! Who does he think he is? We don’t have a rivalry. It’s not like were competing for a spot on team Cullen. Bella’s just like that annoying younger sister who gets everything she wants, leaving you to the sidelines. To rot like second best-

You skidded to a stop.

Oh, shit. Am I jealous of her? No. No way. Not jealous, just...

The anger began to dissipate into confusion and hurt.

It made sense all of the sudden. You were jealous of Bella.

You’d tried for years to get the tribe and the Cullens to get along. They made you choose. To pick between family and love. But then Bella came along and was able to live in both worlds. She didn’t have to pick.

It helped that she was pretty ignorant to it all for a while. You knew too much, more than she did. You knew the tribe’s history, to the connection to vampires. You knew all of the Cullen’s darkest secrets and dreaded pasts. You were fully immersed in a way she never could be.

And it wasn’t that you wanted any evil vampires to try to kill you, but it would be nice to not have to face the consequences for the choices Bella makes. For her to undo all the progress you’d made just by existing.

It would be easier if you were a vampire instead of a shifter. You can’t say you hadn’t thought about asking Jasper to...well, he’d never agree to it anyway. And who knows what it would do to you.

You shifted back, realizing where you were. Stopped dead in the same spot you’d met him. In that little clearing between the trees.

The leaves rustled in the wind and you shivered. Your clothes had ripped off with your transformation, leaving you cold and alone.

But you couldn’t go back. Not yet. You were still mad, even though the anger was gone. His words hurt. You weren’t ready to see him yet.

So, you shifted back into a wolf and curled up against a tree. A nice sleep in the woods might help you clear your head.

You sensed Jasper before you saw him. Your eyes opened as you caught that familiar sweet scent that only he carried.

You sat up, having turned back into a human sometime through the night, and rubbed your eyes. “I know you’re there. You can come out.”

He slunk out from the trees. He was carrying a fresh pair of clothes for you and had a blanket slung over his shoulder. You could’ve kissed him.

He handed them to you gently, allowing you to reach out and take them from him.

He kept his distance as you dressed, about ten feet away.

Once dressed, you tossed the blanket over your shoulders and smiled tiredly at him. “Now doesn’t this look familiar?”

Jasper chuckled. “Can I come closer?”

You nodded, beckoning him forward. “Come on,”

He sat next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry for what I said. That wasn’t what I meant and I should’ve thought about my words before I spoke.”

You shook your head. “No, you were right. I’m carrying this distain for Bella and I need to let it go. It’s not making anyone happy and if her and Edward are going to be together, I’m gonna have to get used to it.”

Jasper hummed, kissing your temple. “She could never replace you, you know?”

“Yeah...thank you.”

“We’re supposed to go meet with the wolves for training in a few hours. Do you want to go back to the house for breakfast beforehand?” He asked.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “But you guys don’t eat?”

“I...may have bought a bunch of your favorite breakfast foods. To make up for my mistake.” He said, a little sheepishly.

You laughed. “Never change, Jasper Whitlock.”

“Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes.”

You both stood, holding hands.

“Do you think...” You bit your lip. “Can I invite Bella over? I can’t eat all of that breakfast by myself.”

Jasper smiled. “That’s my girl.”

Emmett flew through the air, hitting the ground with a crash that would’ve killed any human. But he got up with a ferocity in his eyes and said, “again.”

Edward pulled up in his silver jeep carrying you and Bella in it and parked half-hazardly in between two trees.

You got out from the backseat and immediately went to Jasper’s side.

“Wouldn’t even let us eat breakfast alone,” You whispered. “I think he thinks I’m gonna eat her or something.”

Jasper bit back a laugh and turned with the rest of the family as the Uley back emerged from the trees. All ferocious and upset looking.

“They don’t trust us enough to be in their human forms,” Edward explained.

“They came, that’s what matters,” Carlisle replied. “Will you translate?”

Edward nodded.

Carlisle and Jasper approached the pack, standing before Sam, Jared, and Paul. You hung back by Bella and Alice. Last thing that bridge needed was a loose board.

“Welcome,” He began. “Jasper has experience with newborns. He’ll teach us how to defeat them.”

“They wanna know how the newborns are different from us.”

“They’re a great deal stronger than us,” Carlisle explained. “Because their own human blood lingers in their tissues. Our kind is never more physically powerful than in our first several months in this life.”

With no further questions from Sam, Carlisle turns the speech over to Jasper, who swaggers to the center of the group’s gaze like he was made for it.

“Carlisle’s right,” He said. “That’s why they are created. A newborn army doesn’t need thousands like a human army. And no human army could stand against them.”

A growl from Sam.

“Now, the two most important things to remember are first, never let them get their arms around you - they will crush you instantly - and second...never go for the obvious kill.”

You smirked.

“They’ll be expecting that. And you. Will lose.”

Jasper turned to his side of the group. “Emmet.”

Now things were going to get interesting.

(Tbh just go watch the scene on YouTube for this, not much changes besides the Alice and Jasper stuff and there’s a bit extra at the end.)

“Don’t hold back.”

“Not in my nature,” Emmet replied, grinning.

You nudged Bella and she looked at you. You lifted your fingers and counted off three, two, one-

Emmett surged forward, plowing into Jasper's middle like a football player. Jasper, expecting this, planted his feet and dug them into the dirt as he was pushed backward.

Emmet threw him over his shoulder, sending Jasper spiraling into the air and landing messily on the forest floor, but never falling. He sprang up and sprinted right back into the fight.

Emmett swung, Jasper ducked and caught his arm, sending him onto the forest floor.

Jasper smirked. “Never lose focus.”

You hoped the pack couldn’t smell the desire radiating off of you.

Edward and Carlisle squared up to demonstrate next, Jasper looking on as a coach.

Carlisle gave a curt nod and the fight began. Carlisle slid, Edward jumped over. Boom, back up and running. They caught each other by the neck, forcing each of them to make steps backward.

You glanced at Jasper, who was expressionless, silently observing. You heard Sam growl from nearby.

Edward went spiraling as Carlisle threw him over his shoulder. You felt Bella tense next to you.

Carlisle threw a punch, Edward ducked, Carlisle went for another and Edward caught him by the chest, sending him to the ground.

Edward straightened up cockily.

“And one more thing,” Jasper said.

Carlisle grabbed Edward by the leg, reversing their positions.

“Never turn your back on your enemy.”

Sam seemed slightly impressed, if his expression changing from a snarl to indifference was any sign.

Jasper beckoned Rosalie forward with two fingers. She sauntered up like she’d rather be doing anything else, which was probably true.

Punch. Punch. Jasper ducked each time, her jabs missing him. He caught her arm, she spiraled and landed gracefully in a bent position.

Poser, you thought with a grin.

Alice was next. And you never underestimate Alice.

Jasper was on the offense this time and Alice moved out of striking range every time like it was the easiest thing in the world, cartwheeling out of his reach.

Jasper advanced again, throwing punches that didn’t (and wouldn’t) connect. Then, Alice disappeared. Jasper, used to knowing people’s next moves, was confused.

You glanced up, just in time to see Alice drop from the tree behind Jasper and send him to the ground.

"Y/N. You’re up.” Jasper said as Alice walked back towards Bella.

You nodded, quickly taking off into the trees to shift.

You came back in your wolf form. A brown wolf, similar to Jacob, but a little darker. Jasper almost lost himself admiring you, but it was hard to ignore when a giant wolf was running at you.

He caught your form, his hands almost making it around you before you rolled and pushed him with your back feet. Jasper grunted, falling onto his butt and watching as you summersaulted in the air and landed on all fours above him.

Jasper was slightly turned on, but only smirked at you sexily. You rolled your eyes and got off him, to which he responded by jumping on your back.

You felt his weight and immediately leapt up, sending him back to the ground.

He stood up as you rushed back into the trees to turn back.

“Sometimes you won’t be able to get the newborn off of you so easily,” Jasper said to the pack. “Like we said, they’re strong.”

“But that’s what you guys are there for right?” You said, clutching on to Jasper’s arm. You were dressed down now, in a simple tank top and leggings.

“Correct,” Jasper said softly, tilting his head and smiling.

He hardened as he turned back to the wolves. “We will do our best to keep each of you safe, just as you will do for us. And if in doubt. Go for the head.”

That about wrapped it up for the day, so the wolves left and the Cullens regrouped to go home.

Jasper and Bella were talking so you went to Edward, who was watching the interaction intensely.

“You know, she’s not gonna die if you take your eyes off of her for a second.” You said, nudging him.

He looked at you. “Thank you. For trying.”

You shrugged. “I needed to get my head out of my ass. Now it’s her turn.”

Edward frowned, but didn’t comment further.

You pricked up suddenly, feeling Jasper’s emotions changing from pride to guilt and sadness. You immediately knew what he was talking about, so you walked over, Alice not far away.

“I thought what Maria and I had was love,” He said. “But I was her puppet, she pulled the strings. I didn’t know there was another way...until I found Alice. Well, she seen me coming, of course.”

“Kept me waiting long enough,” Alice joked, walking up to him and leaning on his shoulder.

Jasper chuckled sadly, tears in his eyes. “My apologies, ma’am.”

You smiled softly.

“I don’t know what I’d’ve become without her. She brought me to Y/N. And she, well,” he looked over at you, his golden eyes meeting your (e/c) ones. “She taught me what real love was.”

Bella smiled.

Jasper walked over to you, taking your hand and kissing you as he’d wanted to all morning.

When you pulled away, he was serious.

“You don’t think less of me for my past, do you? I know I’ve done some pretty awful things, but I don’t think I could-”

“Hey,” You interrupted, touching his face. Your warm hand calming him down. “I could never think less of you. I love you. And the past is in the past. You never have to be that person again. We’re good, okay?”

He smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, darlin’“

“That’s better.”

You met Jacob in the clearing where the fight would be. Edward, Bella, Jasper, and you coming from one side and a shirtless Jacob from the other.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “You own a shirt?”

“You’re not fighting?” Jacob asked, ignoring you and directing his words at Edward. “What, you pull a muscle or something?”

“He’s doing it for me, okay?” Bella defended.

“Whatever,” Jacob drawled back.

Now you rolled your eyes. Oh, the never-ending love triangle at it again.

“Just tell me the plan.”

“This field will give us an advantage in battle,” Jasper explained. “We need to lure them here with Bella’s scent. And it needs to end here.”

“Edward and I are going on a campsite,” Bella said. “Even if he carries me, they’ll still pick up on our scent.”

“Your stench, however, is revolting.” Edward snapped.

You frowned but didn’t comment.

“Dude, you really don’t want to start comparing stinks,” Jacob retorted.

“What he means is,” Bella interjected. “That your scent will mask mine if you carry me.”

Jacob gave a curt nod. “Done.”

“This is not a good idea,” Edward said.

“It’ll work,” Jasper replied. “They won’t want to get anywhere near his...odor.”

“Rude,” You said, jokingly.

“Your odor, however, is delightful.” He said to you.

“Aw, thanks.”

“Okay, stop,” Jacob said, pulling a face. “Let’s try it.”

Bella walked over and Jacob picked her up.

“Ode of wolf, coming up,” He said.

Edward grimaced.

“Run.”

Doing as he was told (for once), Jacob took off into the woods.

After a few minutes, Jasper took off into the woods, too. Tracking for any signs of Bella’s scent.

“Soooo,” You started. Being left alone with Edward was not your version of fun, but your nose wouldn’t be of any service. Different species senses and all that.

“Don’t start,” Edward replied.

“Wasn’t gonna,” You said with a shrug. “But you really should calm down. Your worry is almost as potent as Jake’s odor.”

“Could you step back? Your odor is really starting to bother me, makes my eyes water.”

“Oh, is that how it’s gonna be?” You asked with a challenging grin.

Edward cracked a smile.

“Alright, mind-reader, you don’t wanna smell all the scents I can conjure up.”

“All I picked up was wolf stench,” Jasper said, coming back out of the woods. “No Bella.”

“Good work, Major Whitlock,” You teased, he bumped you with his hip.

Edward still seemed uneasy, despite your lighthearted conversation.

“This will work,” Jasper reassured.

“Great.” Edward replied, shortly.

Great indeed.

When the day finally came, you were nervous.

Not that you doubted the Cullen’s or the pack’s abilities to win the fight. It was just that things always seemed to go wrong even with the best laid plans. You had this terrible pit in your stomach.

You almost forgot about it, waking up in Jasper’s arms was business as usual and he did nothing to make it seem like he was nervous.

“Good morning,” Jasper whispered.

“Morning,” You replied, groggily.

Jasper didn’t sleep, of course, but he didn’t mind holding you while you did. He even closed his eyes, just to relax and focus and think. Sometimes you wondered if that was the closest thing to sleeping he got.

You stretched out of his grip and sat up, remembering what day it was. “When are they coming?”

“Soon.”

“Right. Soon.” You stood up and headed for the bathroom to prepare yourself for the fight. That was when the worry started to creep in.

Jasper noticed, of course he did.

“Hey,” he said when you walked back out of the bathroom. “This’ll work.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “I know, I know. I always worry about this stuff.”

“Would you like me to...?”

You shook your head. “No, not yet. I’ve gotta work through this or it might come back with a vengeance later when you’re preoccupied. And we don’t need that.”

He nodded in understanding.

You chuckled as he walked up to you, playing with your fingers. “You can tell we’re opposing monsters, the way we dress.”

Jasper, forever cold, was dressed in dark jeans, a dark t-shirt, and a button up underneath a heavier jacket. You, forever warm, were dressed in a pair of yoga shorts and a loose t-shirt.

He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes closing. You closed your eyes in return, taking the moment to breath him in and accept the moment of peace before the battle.

He kissed you softly.

“Have you got everything?” He asked.

You threw your bag over your shoulder. “Yeah, I think so. Just my spare clothes.”

“Good. It’s time to go.”

When you got to the clearing, you could smell Bella’s blood everywhere. On the trees, in the grass, on the rocks. Oh yeah, this would work.

“The storm really hit here,” You said.

“Well, hopefully we can use that to our advantage,” Jasper replied before turning to you. “Are you ready for this?”

“Well, I don’t take pleasure in killing innocents, but I’ll do it to protect my family.” You replied.

“We appreciate everything you’ve done for us, Y/N,” Carlisle said.

You smiled softly. “Thanks. I have to go.”

“Be safe,” Jasper replied, kissing your forehead. “I’ll see you on the battlefield.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.” You said, mock saluting before running off into the trees to find the pack.

“She’ll be fine, Jasper,” Alice said.

He nodded. “I know she will be.”

When you reached the pack you noticed a significant absence of your brother. “Where’s Jake?”

“On his way.” Sam replied, bluntly.

“Yeah, he wanted to help protect precious Bella overnight,” Embry joked.

You nodded. “Course he did.”

“It’s time,” Sam said.

All of you shifted in unison, hearing the sounds of the newborns ripping through the trees.

The entire newborn army blitzed out of the woods and into the field. There’s a frenzy in their eyes. Their thirst rabid at the scent of Bella’s blood. But it ends there and they are met with the Cullens, ready and willing to defend.

The two sides meet in a flurry of shouts.

Jasper claims the first kill, knocking one of the newborn’s heads clean off his shoulders with a single punch.

The newborns have the numbers, but are inexperienced and sloppy. They swing and miss and the Cullen’s gain the upper hand almost easily, but they can’t account for them all.

That is when the wolves come in.

Sam’s large, black wolf jumps over the threshold first, taking the first wolf kill for himself. He is followed closely by you and the rest of the pack.

It’s unexpected, and the newborns are brought down easily by the shifters.

You’ve blacked out at this point, allowing the wolf to take over your actions so you won’t be burdened with the guilt and memory of killing these people. These kids.

It’s too easy to rip into them. Their skin cracking like glass and ripping like paper.

Jacob rips through the trees and attacks immediately. You wish he could hear your thoughts so you could tell him he was an idiot and to be careful.

In your distracted state, one of the newborns managed to get you to the ground. You flailed and rolled, trying to get him off of you.

Jasper ran through three newborns to get to you, a fury in his eyes. He wouldn’t lose you. Not like this. Not ever.

He rips through the newborn’s head like it’s made of water.

You make eye contact with him, a silent thanks, and the battle continues.

It almost isn’t fair how easily your side takes them down. No training, no preparation. Almost like they were...a distraction.

You looked around, trying to spot Victoria’s red hair in the crowd or the trees. She was gone. She was going for Edward and Bella.

You howled, hoping they or Seth would hear you and be prepared.

Then, it was like a door opened up in your mind. Seth’s thoughts came streaming in like someone was adjusting the tuneage on a radio, distorted at first then became clearer and clearer.

Thanks, Y/N. It’s over.

You sighed, thankful.

“Y/N,”

You startled, looking over to see Jasper approaching you. You shifted back.

“It’s over,” You said. “Victoria’s dead.”

“It’s not over,” Jasper replied, looking over his shoulder at Alice, standing before the burning pile.

She had that dead look in her eyes that she got whenever she got a vision.

“Alice, what is it?” You asked, pulling Jasper’s coat over your body.

“The Volturi,” She said. “They’re coming.”

You and Jasper exchanged a look.

“How long?”

Bella and Edward appeared from the trees, finally approaching the group.

“Fifteen minutes. Maybe ten?”

“The pack needs to leave. The Volturi won’t honor our truce with the werewolves.” Carlisle said.

“I’m not going anywhere,” You growled.

“I didn’t ask you to,” Carlisle clarified. “But you need to tell the pack to leave.”

You nodded, turning towards where Leah stood, watching over. Jake came out of the trees to join her and see what was happening.

A stray newborn emerged as well.

That pit in your stomach grew bigger, you opened your mouth to shout, only to be cut off by Leah growling and heading straight for the newborn.

“Leah don’t!” You and Edward shouted together.

The newborn got his arms around her and you panicked, ripping off Jasper’s coat and shifting as Jacob ran over to help her.

He caught him by the neck, ripping him off of Leah’s back.

The two wrestled and you checked on Leah, she was fine and you ran for Jacob.

But it was too late. You heard the cracking of his bones just as you managed to get there, snatching the newborn off Jacob’s back.

Sam and Paul joined you in ripping him apart.

This one you took pleasure in.

Jacob shifted back, his body responding to the pain.

“Jacob!” Bella cried, running over to him.

Edward and Carlisle beat her there, tending to him to find out what was wrong.

“The bones on the right half of his body are shattered,” Carlisle explained.

You and the pack came running out from the trees, all now at least partially dressed.

“Jacob, you idiot, I had it!”

“Leah,” Sam scolded, joining you and the others knelt at Jacob’s side.

“I need to set the bones before his accelerated healing sets in,” Carlisle said. “It’s already starting.”

“We need to get him out of here,” Edward said. “We’re not gonna win a fight with the Volturi.”

“We’ll take him back to Billy’s,” Sam said.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Carlisle replied.

“Hang in there, Jake,” Bella said.

“You’ll be okay, Jacob,” You said, squeezing the half of his body that’s not shattered.

You watched anxiously as the pack carried Jacob away, that pit in your stomach the biggest its ever been.

A wave of calm settled itself over you and you knew it was Jasper when he touched your shoulder. “He’ll be alright,”

You nodded, “I know.”

You didn’t.

“They’re coming!” Alice shouted.

Jasper’s wave of calm wasn’t helping. Your worry and sadness shifted into anger at Alice’s words. You shifted.

The Volturi appeared out of the forest in the haze of fog that had settled after the storm. Their eyes the same startling red you remembered from meeting them the first time.

Jasper stood in front of your wolf form, clinging to you, ready to fight if needed.

Edward did the same to Bella.

The Cullens were eerily quiet.

Their hoods came down and you resisted the urge to growl. The Volturi had sent their lackies, the youngest (or rather the youngest looking) of their cult to approach you.

“Impressive,” Jane said. “I’ve never seen a coven escape an assault of this magnitude intact.”

“We were lucky,” Carlisle replied, diplomatically.

“I doubt that,” Jane replied, red eyes flickering over to you.

You glared, resisting the urge to growl.

“It appears we missed an entertaining fight,” Alec said.

“Yes,” Jane’s voice is slippery and she speaks with a snake-like demeanor. “It’s not often we are rendered unnecessary.”

“If you would’ve arrived a half hour ago you would’ve fulfilled your purpose,” Edward said.

Jane’s eyes are locked on him. “Pity...you missed one.”

Bree, the young newborn that had been hiding behind the group, moves, startled and nervous.

This time, you do growl.

Jasper waves a hand to subdue you and walks over to her side.

“We offered her asylum in exchange for her surrender,” Carlisle explained.

“That wasn’t yours to offer,” Jane said, a sick smirk on her lips. “Why did you come?”

The question is directed at the girl, who’s standing terrified next to Jasper.

Then, she screams, body reacting to the overwhelming pain Jane’s stare inflicts.

You flinch. You remember the pain.

“Who created you?”

She screamed again, rolling on the ground in agony.

“You don’t need to do that, she’ll tell you anything you want to know,” Esme said.

“I know.” Jane replied.

It makes you sick to your stomach, knowing that she takes pleasure in inflicting that much pain.

“I-I don’t know,” Bree chokes out. “Riley wouldn’t tell us...he said our thoughts weren’t safe.”

“Her name is Victoria,” Edward said. “Perhaps you knew her.”

Jane’s eyes change emotions. Perhaps they did know.

“Edward,” Carlisle interrupted. “If the Volturi had knowledge of Victoria, they would’ve stopped her.”

They all know his words carry no truth.

“Isn’t that right, Jane?”

Jasper’s gaze tightens on Jane. She’s looking back with nothing to reveal.

“Of course.” There’s a pause and then, “Felix.”

He moves forward-

“She didn’t know what she was doing,” Esme said.

Jane’s arm flies out to stop Felix.

“We’ll take responsibility for her.”

Esme’s heart was too kind. The heart of a mother knowing too much tragedy.

“Give her a chance.” And Carlisle was known for his second chances. His desperate need to protect the innocent.

“The Volturi don’t give second chances. Keep that in mind.” Jane said. “Caius will be interested to know that she’s still human. And that you still keep the...dog around.”

You growled again.

“The date is set,” Bella said. The wedding.

“Take care of that, Felix.” Jane said, removing her arm and allowing him forward. “I’d like to go home.”

There’s nothing any of you can do to stop him as Felix walks between Carlisle and Esme, both mourning the girl already.

The Cullens watch in horror, but you can only focus on Jane’s sadistic smile, as Felix takes care of the problem.

And then it’s over.

The Volturi leave with threats made and notes taken. The rest of you are left with new demons to hide away; an ever growing collection. And you and Bella are racing to Billy’s for Jacob.

You join her in her truck, too overwhelmed with emotions to run. You needed another person to be there with you.

He’s screaming when you arrive.

“Dad,” You said, running to Billy’s side. “Is he-”

His screams persisted and you tear up. Bella stands frozen.

“That’s been going on for a while,” Quil explained.

“Docs are breaking his bones,”

“Why did he have to but in I could’ve taken that-”

“Give it a rest, Leah,” Paul snapped.

The door opened and Carlisle and Sam stepped out, looking somber.

“The worst is over. He’ll be alright,” Carlisle said. “I gave him some morphine but his body temperature will burn it off soon. I’ll come back to set up a drip.”

You sighed thankfully, standing up to hug Carlisle, which he accepted.

“Thank you,” Billy said.

The two of them shake hands, an unsaid understanding crossing between them. Somehow, that makes you feel better.

Bella, it seems, didn’t feel the same.

“He’s asking for you,” Carlisle said, nodding to her.

She seemed hesitant at first, all the eyes watching her, but went in anyway.

“God, dad, I tried, but I couldn’t get there fast enough-”

“Hey,” Billy interrupts, patting your hand. “Don’t do that. He’s alright.”

You nodded, tears forming in your eyes again. “I knew he would be.”

You felt a cold hand on your back and turned to see Jasper.

“Is he alright?”

“Yeah, thanks Jas,” you said, standing up and hugging him tightly.

He returned the hug and rubbed your back comfortingly.

Him and Billy exchanged a look.

The two had never been particularly chummy, but they had an mutual respect, for you, if nothing else.

This time, though, Billy reached up and patted Jasper’s back. “Thanks for being here, son,”

Jasper nodded. “Of course.”

The rest of the pack shifted uncomfortably. A man who not long ago had been barking orders like a drill sergeant was now comforting one of their own.

You didn’t care. You just wanted to be in his arms.

When Bella came back out, she seemed conflicted.

“He’s sleeping,” she said to no one in particular.

You nodded to her.

Y/N.

You pricked up. You knew that voice. It was Jake’s.

Don’t beat yourself up over this. I know you will. It’s not your fault. And I know you can hear this so don’t be a stranger.

Asshole. You thought.

Bitch. He replied.

“Hey, you okay?” Jasper asked, noticing that your emotions had shifted.

You smiled, blinking back tears. “I’m wonderful.”

#jasper hale x you #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale x y/n #jasper hale imagine #Jasper hale x werewolf!reader #jasper whitlock x reader #jasper whitlock imagines #twilight imagine

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loosesodamarble · 5 months

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Hello, I was the one who requested a few Nacht head canons that you wrote recently. I loved them so I'm here with one more request. It's a very long one so you can ignore it or take as much time as you want. So here it goes: How would the magic knight squads react if they find out one of their members has a crush on Nacht? How would things play out after that.

Oh my! Welcome back then, Anon! Glad you enjoyed them, despite their timing.

….......

Black Bulls

Everyone would have to pause and go "our Nacht Faust?"

And you'd have to confirm "yes, our Nacht Faust. As if there are any others."

Half the squad would bust out in hysterics.

The other half would be dead silent from shock.

Remember, Nacht's first impression with several members was... poor. To say the least. So hearing that you liked Nacht was an experience for everyone.

Asta and Yami are the first ones to cheer you and Nacht on though.

Followed by the likes of Noelle, Henry ("Henry, don't change the floor plans so their room are together. HENRY WAIT!"), Grey, and Gordon.

Vanessa and Finral would be down to set you and Nacht up on a date. And they'd throw in a makeover free of charge!

Gimodelo and the other devils are very excited to see Nacht get all romantic. They just want their master to be happy!

Don't be surprised if the Bulls start calling you to dinner later than the rest of them and doing the same to Nacht so you both are force to sit with each other at the only empty seats.

And there would be other schemes to keep you two in close proximity.

Really, the whole squad just wants to support their squadmates and friends in the very normal endeavor of starting a relationship.

Golden Dawn

William does his best to show a polite amount of interest in your crush. After Nacht's key role in the Spade Invasion, William feels he owes a debt to that man.

And William thinks that he can repay the debt by setting Nacht up with you since you've taken an interest in him.

At best, William offers you opportunities to visit in the Black Bulls' base (delivering paperwork or parcels) if you want to see Nacht in person.

David is the nosiest of the squad and will ask all the details. How you first met Nacht, when you started liking him, do you plan on confessing, etc.

You might start hanging around Yuno if you weren't already close with him. You know, to ask about Nacht's appearances at any vice captain meetings.

Blue Rose Knights

SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP!

The ladies of the Blue Rose Knights are going to have your back if they find out about your crush on Nacht.

First Charlotte is blushing over Yami and now you for Nacht? It's like the squads are destined for something greater together!

The other squad members will insist that you and Charlotte have a double date with Nacht and Yami. Let your loves bloom together~!

It actually works out relatively well.

You keep Charlotte from panicking around Yami and in turn, Charlotte gives you plenty of openings to initiate conversation with Nacht.

And don't worry. Charlotte will shut down any egregious meddling from the squad.

Like say, locking you and Nacht in a closet without your grimoires so Nacht can't just shadow out of there.

Puli, the brains behind Operation Get the Devil (Host)'s Heart, is going to contrive of a lot of ridiculous scenarios though... Good luck.

Crimson Lion Kings

Nacht puts Fuegoleon on edge. His practices and demeanor aren't ideal in Fuegoleon's eyes but as a loyal Knight of Clover, Nacht is at least decent.

Fuegoleon warmly encourages you in pursuing Nacht. But he also warns you not to get too distracted.

"I don't have any romantic experiences to speak of but adding to your personal life is sure to give you more to fight for as a Knight."

It's just a nice way of saying that getting a boyfriend might improve your morale for work.../lh

Leopold doesn't know Nacht at all but he'd very willing to be your wingman by dragging you along to the Bulls' base when he goes to visit Asta.

I'm sure if you asked, Randall might bring your name up at a vice captain meeting and gauge Nacht's response.

Don't let Mereoleona catch you waffling on your feeling for too long. If she thinks you're being coward about your crush, then her hand might be forced and you'll find yourself doing volcano training alongside Nacht.

I say not in the sense that Mereo has an interest in romance, let alone others' romances, but I honestly think she'd get pissed off to know that a member of the Crimson Lions is being a coward about anything.

Other members of the squad would generally support you and urge you to do your best with getting Nacht's attention.

Silver Eagles

To me, the Silver Eagles are a squad wherein the members largely keep to themselves. It's mostly polite conversation with a bit of gossip from the noble circles.

Most of the Silver Eagles wouldn't pay much attention to your love life, if I'm to be honest.

However, they are an elitist squad (or at least that's their vibe) and with devil possession being Forbidden Magic, some might raise a brow at your crush.

"Even if he's a vice captain, that Faust man can't be anything but trouble. Especially if he's a Bull."

If Nozel hears of your crush, he'll have mixed opinions.

His opinion of devils and devil hosts is abysmally low due to his own history but Nacht proved himself a worthy ally and so not a horrible pick.

Nozel's bad at showing it but he does wish the best for you in your romance with Nacht. You are a member of his squad after all.

Like Fuegoleon, Nozel warns you not to let your infatuation get in the way of work.

Aqua Deers

The Aqua Deer has the vibe of being some free-spirited folks. Not so much as the Green Mantises or Black Bulls, but with a captain as young as Rill, the squad has learned to be able to accept anything.

"Following the captain's example and falling hard for someone, are we?" some will joke with you.

If you can catch Rill during his free time, he two of you could have a heart-to-heart and help each other sort through your crushes.

"Love can happen so suddenly, can't it?" Rill remarks. "Like bolt of lightning or like throwing a palette at an easel! It's bold and messy and scary too! But that's what makes it so amazing, huh?"

I imagine Fragil being a bit of a romantic so she might have some advice based on a romance novel or dating advice column if you went to her. But that's just what I think of her.

Coral Peacocks

Dorothy will be poking her nose into the business of your crush. No ifs, ands, or buts about it!

She's a bit of a gossip. So uh... prepare for Yami finding out via her loose lips.

In her sparse free time, Dorothy will encourage you to practice confessing to Nacht in her Glamour World.

Only to turn on you and tease you with her imaginary versions of Nacht.

This gif of Shouto form BNHA:

Dorothy creates a Nacht version of that to tease you. Good luck.

Kirsch will give you advice on how to be "beautiful" for Nacht to fall in love with you.

Green Praying Mantis

The folks in the Green Mantis squad are largely commoners. They're casual and a little wild.

So I'd imagine some of the more interested parties placing bets on how long it'll take for you to confess or maybe even betting on how you confess.

Some of the members might mention that Jack might've known Nacht in the past but going to him earns you the threat of being sliced apart (Jack being twin blind will be a sore spot for him from now on. No, this isn't relevant but I'm saying my piece.)

I dunno why but the Green Mantis squad gives off the vibes of inviting you and Nacht to a bar to let the alcohol break down your walls.

(Although if you're not a drinker of alcohol, that plan is a bust.)

The squad members would probably go out of their way to mess with the Black Bulls to get Nacht's attention for you.

Which... you might be thankful for the support or you might be horrified by their "plan."

They mean well, really.

Purple Orcas

All I can really say for the Purple Orcas is that Kaiser and her wife would be more than happy to give their insight on starting and maintaining a loving partnership.

#questions from the ask box #awesome anons #black clover #black clover headcanons #nacht faust #nacht faust x reader #nacht faust headcanons #x reader

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puppetmaster13u · 7 months

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Meat Marionette #11?

Thinkin about the rogues in this Au, and like, the difference between their relationship with the bats vs this Au.

For example, Selina. I’ll admit I take a bit of inspiration from the 2022 movie and mix it with comic depictions along with the different cartoons, which honestly isn’t too different from each other by too much. Now, I don’t think that Catwoman would flirt with this version of Batman, what with his body being a meat puppet that is visibly not human and off putting. There’s also the fact that she would have been an early-ish rogue of his, at least in order of encounters. Which means that she probably encounters the Bat for the first time while Bruce was still getting used to said gifted body, which in turn was probably terrifying. So there’s still a cat and mouse game happening, but it’s more akin to Selina doing her darn best to avoid the Bat no matter what, because to her it isn’t above trying to kill. It’s like seeing a lion where you figure you’re safe at this distance, until it starts moving and you realize that you are definitely not far enough away.

Another rogue that I am thinking of is Harvey and Two-Face (Which DC, give Two-Face a proper name :/ he’s his own dude even if they share a body). Harvey was best friends with Bruce, hell they were practically high-school sweethearts in some cases! And Bruce still visits him in Arkham, canonically still talks and interacts with both his friend and TF. Now if anyone is going to notice the changes to Bruce, it’s going to be Harvey. He’s going to be the first to notice how Bruce’s movements are now dangerous and downright predatory, with too much grace even for a dancer or martial artist. There’s something familiar about that movement, and Harvey isn’t an idiot, TF isn’t one either. They know there’s something wrong with Bruce even if he insists he’s fine. In canon Harvey straight up broke down and cried when he found out Bruce was Batman, so I’m wondering what their reaction to this version of the bat would be…

There’s also rogues like the Riddler and the Joker who are downright obsessed with Batman, but would they still be with this one? I could see Joker slowly becoming obsessed as the creatures continue to thwart him over and over again, but I’m still rotating Riddler.

But y’know who would definitely be obsessed with the batclan?

Scarecrow. The man is obsessed with studying fear, with the effects it has and how to cause it. So the bats, who bring terror wherever they go, with something about them continuously tingling at the back of ones’ more instinctive mind that this is something to fear? He would be utterly enthralled, he’d need to know more, he’d need to know Everything. Especially if his fear toxin doesn’t work right on them. After all, how would a gas effect something without lungs? How can you inject something that doesn’t have blood, that’s not quite alive, not in the way that we as humans understand? How can you cause fear of something that has stared into the Tunnels’ heart and lived? Or something like that lol.

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AU is a combo of my cryptid batfam and @phoenixcatch7 's Possessed Doll au, go check them out, they're amazing

#rambles #meat marionette au #batman au #I am just pondering how the dynamics with certain rogues are effected #Like Harley and Bruce both went to medschool around the same time and definitely could've shared classes #Like mans is surprisingly connected directly to so many of his rogues #Not to mention the main thing that got me pondering this being the Al Ghuls #Like in my Genesis story I have Damian created from stolen blood since they don't know that the bat is the same as bruce #But idk if this would also happen in this AU or not seeing as the meat puppets don't exactly have blood per se #But maybe it could have something to do with them literally drinking lazarus water too #hngh i have no idea what to do with them :/#batman #batfam #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #wayne family #gotham rogues #But seriously pondering about their relationships #Not just the rogues but I'll probably elaborate more on that later #like for example would Dick found the Titans when he doesn't have a falling out with Bruce?#hm

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malicious-compliance-esq · 13 days

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Why the World Needs Black Jack Randall: Queer Representation at Its Worst and Best

On March 29 my amazing mutual and fellow Evil Redcoat Pipeline traveler @meerawrites tagged me in a reblog of this video essay from @rowanellis about media literacy and queer villains that mentions both Lestat de Lioncourt from Interview with the Vampire and Black Jack Randall from Outlander. Double bisexual representation from an openly ace creator? Be still my heart!

I’d seen a few of Rowan’s other videos on YouTube—not ever having looked for her on Tumblr before Meera sent me that video—and often enjoyed both the content and the nuance. Certainly true for many aspects of this one as well. I want to make it very clear before going into detail here that I ardently support Rowan as a creator and appreciate that advocacy for diverse queer representation tremendously. I’m tagging her blog here primarily to promote her work and to encourage folks to explore for themselves. Her video essays are excellent in general and this one certainly has its fair share of wonderful content just the same.

I love the analysis here of why queer villains often get embraced as folk heroes by the LGBTQIA+ community, and many of the specific commentaries on beloved characters from iconic films and shows I grew up on like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Lion King. Of course, I’m no expert on any of those canons despite many viewings. I don’t consider myself an expert on Interview with the Vampire by any means either, but I’ve read all the books and seen the film and the available season of the new television adaptation. I found a lot of the commentary here insightful and resonant as a more casual consumer of media in that universe. I fully expect that folks who truly do have that depth of expertise would have much to say about the specifics of Rowan’s analysis of Lestat.

If y’all are on my blog, you know why I’m here and you know where my expertise lies. I am here to sustain the collective derangement of the few and the proud who take a deeper interest in Black Jack. Who see him for the complex and complicated person he is rather than writing him off as a Complete Monster or hand waving the things he does that truly are monstrous. And oftentimes who take that deeper look at him from the informed perspective of lived experience with sexual abuse. Many of the folks I’ve met who find Black Jack uniquely resonant and compelling do so from the firsthand perspective of submissiveness and masochism—of finding him alluring because of what he could do for them.

Well then. You could fix him. You could make him worse. I could rail him.

I’m going to out myself in no uncertain terms here because I need to make my authorial standpoint painstakingly clear. Hi, my name is Malicious Compliance. In addition to being quite openly bisexual in every possible area of my life, I am Dominant and sadistic. Are those the only things I enjoy sexually? Not at all. Although I’m not switchy in the slightest when it comes to D/s and S&M activities, I absolutely enjoy sex that does not involve BDSM elements as well. I’ve also had intensely kinky sexual relationships that involved no physical practice of sadism whatsoever. This will come back later—just like Black Jack does at Versailles in S2E05 “Untimely Resurrection” after supposedly being dead from a cattle stampede at Wentworth Prison. Awesome, right? Like me, our favorite randy Redcoat is tough to kill.

Given all this and my general level of immersion in all forms of Outlander canon, once I finally could make the time to give Rowan’s video essay my full attention (more on that below) I found myself going from pumping my fist to shaking my head. I knew I’d have to say something in response. That I would need to address the Republic and set the record accurate if certainly not straight.

Initially I thought about doing a brief reblog commentary noting that although the analysis in the video gets several things quite twisted about Randall, these are understandable omissions considering Rowan does not position herself as having intensive expertise on Outlander canon. But then I started thinking about Rowan’s stated purpose in making the video. The sorts of deeper analysis and nuances that, as Rowan herself points out in her own ways, often get missed with intent in considering the actions of queer villains who are specifically bisexual and sadistic.

And as a bisexual sadist who has frequently encountered the framing of my own sexuality as an automatic threat even by other queer people who otherwise support kink practice I knew it could enhance the positive impact of the original video essay to provide some detailed commentary. Broader systemic issues that Rowan references herself can make it altogether too easy to reproduce the same harms one looks to dismantle. Black Jack Randall is a fictional guy in a fictional world. Yet how the non-fictional world views people like Black Jack—and especially people brought to those dark places in their own minds and actions by their familiar cycles of abuse—matters tremendously to me. Not because I’ve gone down his path myself, but because I understand the stakes of not going down his path.

One thing about me is I would rather pull out what remains of my natural dentition with pliers than take no action when I know I can do something uniquely impactful in addressing that passive reproduction of harm to our community, which very much is our community as both bisexual and asexual creators. In the interest of directly unpacking harmful stereotypes about bisexual sadists, building on the video essay’s overall spotlighting of queer villains and some of the specific ways biphobia factors into those characterizations and storylines, I’m taking this deepest of dives. Doing more. Because it’s my brand, certainly. But moreover because it’s my duty.

As blazingly gay Will Tavington so eloquently stated in The Patriot amid some premium sinister flirting with his enemy Ben Martin: It’s an ugly business doing one’s duty. But sometimes, it’s a real pleasure.

So here, point by point from my own manual transcription of Rowan’s comments—using both the audio and captions for the video to ensure full accuracy, y’all know both my style and my propensity for em dashes—I give you a detailed analysis of the analysis. If you’re envisioning me gesturing wildly at a tangled yarn map like the Pepe Silvia conspiracy theory one from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia then you’ve got the measure of things entirely. Much more this energy here than the XKCD angle of Someone is wrong on the Internet. Indeed, I’d say Rowan is very right on the Internet to open this dialogue and provide folks who’ve made this depth of engagement with various characters referenced in this video the opportunity to build on her own insights.

But “duty calls” nonetheless! Happy Culloden Day to all ye Randallites near and far. Have fun and try not to get disemboweled too much.

Across the seven seasons of Outlander, a drama about a World War II nurse who travels back to 1740s Scotland—I know, don’t question it—perhaps the most loathed character amongst the show’s many villains is Captain Jonathan Randall.

The phrasing here made me reflect with sorrow on how that same premise of time travel elements automatically making something not worthwhile for reasons of implausibility—and thus perceived frivolity—has often made others pass on exploring Outlander at all. It also made me wonder, as many other things in the video essay continue to do, if perhaps the commentary draws on familiarity with only the first season of the show despite Black Jack’s storyline extending into the third season in live action and beyond that in impact. That would seem a lost opportunity considering the depth of analysis of other canons like Interview with the Vampire and Hazbin Hotel here. Both of which I highly recommend for folks who’ve not yet had the pleasure!

I also noted how the video essay makes no mention whatsoever of Randall’s canonical nickname of “Black Jack” anywhere, which seems strange given what a major plot point this becomes right from the start in S1E01 “Sassenach”. I see this as a missed opportunity to get into some of the basic nuances here about his sadism, which itself only gets mentioned minimally despite the surrounding context. The video essay sets Randall up as a sadist with the framing of this segment but then doesn’t really connect those dots. I’ve done that for y’all before with my “Red Black and Shades of Gray” meta comparing sadism themes in Outlander and The Patriot canons, which contrasts the former’s frequent depiction of sexual interest in actions causing intentional pain in Black Jack Randall’s actions with the latter’s depiction of strategic interest in actions producing incidental pain in Will Tavington’s.

Speaking of the Outlander and The Patriot contrast between the canons’ respective evil Redcoat characters, I had some notes jotted down in the background of my various in-progress BJR fics that explores canonical nicknames for Randall and Tavington and what these monikers lampshade about their respective characterizations. I also had another meta in much more primal stages of development exploring rape themes in both canons and the nuances of how sexual violence gets invoked in storylines featuring Randall and Tavington. That phrasing is very deliberate for good reason; Will Tavington doesn’t rape anyone. And Randall’s own sexual violence doesn’t play out remotely the way one might think from watching this video. Apropos of this, I had another meta envisioned about homosociality in Outlander and how Randall’s bisexuality makes him an outcast among straight and queer characters alike—inspired of course by a dear mutual exploring similar themes with Tavington in The Patriot canon.

In the first of what became many drafts of this Very Long Essay, I said “it will probably be quite some time until I get any of these finished” and then spent a few days turning that over in my head. Indeed, the process of drafting this piece to encourage readers to peek behind the curtain of Black Jack Randall’s life has necessarily involved some deeper reflection on things behind the curtain of my own life. Including how I still—at 40 unlikely years old and counting—often do things out of feelings of obligation rather than genuine desire.

Did I mention I’m a rape survivor? And that I couldn’t possibly count how many times I’ve let someone take dozens of “no” signals as a “yes” because of what it would cost me to refuse? It’s okay to enjoy certain aspects of fandom casually. Even if one isn’t already doing tons of other activity that’s anything but casual. Let yourself enjoy things. This world robs us of so much joy even when we try with all our might to protect it, to hold onto it. I am begging all of you to let yourself enjoy things before it’s too late. To do what Randall didn’t in canon—to live, and to stop willfully breaking his own heart.

If you read my blog, you know that this year has been an absolute hellscape on many fronts and that I am constantly slammed with even more of a professional overload than usual while dealing with A Lot in both the mental and physical health domains. And I generally publish at least one novella-length transformative work for Outlander each month on top of that. As a good friend put it: If I had a full-time job and had the energy to volunteer on top of that, I don’t think I’d ever write. I do what I do not because it is good for me, but because I am certifiably insane. This is not hyperbole or satire. I easily qualify for the designation per the DSM. Which has faults in spades and I’m not endorsing in the slightest, mind. My point is that I write not because I have the time or the energy to spare, but rather because if I do not write I will feel as if I cannot breathe. Why? Asked and answered.

So, a note for the good of the order: I can wait a long, long time before I write another fandom essay. This is a Sisters of Mercy reference, because of course it is. I’m writing this response to the video essay instead of finishing development on the fic I otherwise could probably have released for the Battle of Culloden anniversary on April 16. Ideally I would have done both, wouldn’t I? In addition to already releasing the prior installment of that continuity on April 13 no less! Perhaps if I’d just tried harder I could’ve given you two different lengthy writings in honor of the specific day. Or at least released something else on AO3 for April without waiting until the last minute like a slacker.

That’s the kind of thinking that made me stop sleeping entirely and wind up having a complete breakdown both mentally and physically. For those who are new around here, this is an even worse idea for me than it is for most humans because of a progressive genetic disease that kills people on the regular even when they do sleep and eat adequately and generally show compassion for themselves.

Accordingly, that sort of thinking about my own self-worth as anything other than an ATM for other people’s consumption of output is also what made me complete a PhD in literally two years while working full-time and being actively in the process of dying from my disease. I got on a medication that saved my lungs and my life just over a year after defending my dissertation. It’s taken another decade to learn the lesson I should have learned back then. How did Annie Lennox put it? Dying is easy; it's living that scares me. Paging Black Jack Randall—because if that isn’t the absolute biggest Culloden energy I don’t know what is.

It is amazing and terrible what sadism can do when turned inward on a person. The original video essay I’m responding to here never quite got around to how masterfully Randall’s character spotlights this pattern in several ways. Because the video is much broader by design than it is deep, and thus does not allow for more thorough engagement of the source material in commenting on Black Jack’s character, a lot of the same tropes the video essay aims to unpack could get repackaged with new hats instead without these additional details. So in the interest of not sending people who aren’t bisexual sadists to do bisexual sadists’ jobs, I’m giving y’all the goods.

As a British captain in an occupied Scotland, Randall radiates pure villainy.

Does he? I’m not so sure at all. First, see here for details focused closely on Outlander itself. Second, see here for use of Black Jack’s storylines in Outlander as examples of a larger trope. Search both of those pages for “Even Evil Has Loved Ones” using your browser’s Find function and you’ll get some telling material. Catch that reference to the Duke of Sandringham and Mary Hawkins in the second link, did you? We’ll get to those in time. Oh, how we will get to those.

The complete lack of mention of Season 2 and especially the iconic BJR episode near the end makes this oversight unsurprising. I think touching on that content just briefly would have supported Rowan’s overall purpose in making the initial video. At the same time, I’m guessing that stimulating nuanced and enduring dialogue about queer villains is the most important aim of the original essay! Indeed, S2E12 “The Hail Mary” represents the absolute pinnacle of my plunge into permanent derangement about Randall for reasons likely obvious considering everything I’ve already shared about my own backstory in the process of waxing loquacious to fill in additional canonical details that didn’t feature in the referenced video essay here.

I promised that the notes about my own sexual proclivities would come back, did I not? As BJR is canonically known for doing, I always keep my word. Not hyperbole in the slightest for either of us. On Black Jack’s end this gets referenced explicitly by Claire in Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber when she is helping Randall care for his dying brother Alex. It also gets demonstrated consistently by other characters and Randall himself throughout his storylines in both Season 1 and Season 2 of the show.

So indeed, oneof the things I find most resonant about Black Jack is that he leans into whatever the other person in an encounter is giving him and bases his own behavior on that. This is made quite clear on the show in numerous ways—and arguably even clearer in the source novels by Diana Gabaldon, wherein we learn from Book 1 / Outlander that Black Jack frequently has trysts with domestic employees in the Scottish countryside.

Many people find Black Jack charming and handsome, to the point that he has a drawer full of perfume-scented love letters in his office at Fort William. Hilarious comic relief because he’d clearly have no reason for keeping those around other than masturbation fodder. Those of you who’ve circulated that meme about jerking off face down on the bed with the #black jack randall tag applied are entirely understanding the assignment.

For all the times he’s sexually assaulted someone—which seems to be countable on one hand for any person who isn’t Jamie himself, and near zero for anyone who isn’t associated with Jamie Fraser in some way—Randall has clearly had plenty of consensual sex with people who are not only willing but also entirely enthusiastic to get in his breeches. In the books we also learn about some rumors surrounding another prisoner named Alex MacGregor. These are never confirmed and it’s unclear even from the rumors themselves what the exact nature of Black Jack’s relationship with MacGregor was.

Why is this so important to highlight in analysis of queer villains? Here I go again quoting Carmen Maria Machado as I have before in both fic and commentary and surely will again: The world is full of hurt people who hurt people. Even if the dominant culture considers you an anomaly, that doesn’t mean you can’t be common, common as fucking dirt. This, friends, is the thesis of Black Jack Randall.

He shows little to no redeeming qualities, offers no sympathetic backstory to why he acts the way he does, and appears purely to have been driven by rage and violent pleasure.

Oh my. I’m going to leave S2E05 “Untimely Resurrection” and S2E12 “The Hail Mary” alone for the moment. But even in S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” we start to get some light shed on what Randall is really doing in Scotland. We learn by degrees later just how much his reasons for being there belie what we see on the surface. This gets expanded on in the books where the reveal on Randall’s benefactor the Duke of Sandringham being a secret Jacobite is much more detailed. But even on the show, we learn by S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine” that Sandringham got outed as a suspected traitor to the Crown.

Goodness knows he's been outed as gay from the start to everyone but Claire, who didn’t learn this until much later after making the initial blunder of falling for Black Jack’s gambit about Sandringham having a wife. Not that this would have stopped him from being gay, of course. So-called “lavender marriage” was indeed relatively commonplace—and remains so now in some communities—both generally and in Outlander specifically. I’ll cover that in detail when we get to the points about Lord John Grey below. Notably for now, Sandringham rather than Randall himself is much more centered in a villain role in Season 2. And apropos of other content here, he absolutely doesn’t qualify for tropes about redeeming qualities. The extent of his monstrosity gets revealed in that same episode near the end of Season 2 when it comes to light that he ordered his valet Albert Danton to attack and rape his own goddaughter Mary Hawkins in an alleyway in Paris.

Even early in the series it thus seems difficult to consider Black Jack the most loathsome villain in Outlander. We’ll get to Mary in earnest—and the extreme tenderness with which Black Jack always treats her from their first meeting until his death at Culloden Moore—as we go along. For now, remember what Claire learned about Black Jack’s fate all the way back in S1E01 “Sassenach” where she and her husband Frank Randall were looking into his family genealogy in the Reverend Reginald Wakefield’s office at Inverness during their long-belated honeymoon. Some details missing there certainly, which only get revealed by degrees in Season 2. Black Jack really is Frank’s 5x great-grandfather though; he’s just not his only 5x great-grandfather.

I should probably mention here that I’m donor conceived and that I wasn’t told the truth… No, that’s putting it too kindly. I did note that I’ve always been quite dedicated to seeing the good in people who do bad deeds, and to working tirelessly to bring it out. But enough is enough. My parents lied to my face for 18 years about my ancestry. I asked them point-blank about it several times and they still told me lies. I finally got the truth out of my mother on a balcony overlooking an olive grove halfway around the world. The bus ride to get back to the nearest city and the airport were the longest four hours of my life. I never traveled with them again. And the hole inside of me never fully closed, and never will.

This too will resurface when I get to the content about Mary Hawkins and her marriage to Black Jack. I’m getting there, I promise. As my spouse once put it: I knew you were going to land the plane.

Getting back to early portions of Outlander canon and what we learn about Black Jack in Season 1 though, there’s also the iconic S1E08 “Both Sides Now” extended scene in which Black Jack gives Claire his own perspective on what he’s doing in Scotland in the first place and how distasteful he finds his work. How badly he wishes he could just go home and be warm and take a bath. How little he cares about the outcome of the conflict and how futile he feels it all is. We already know from a couple episodes prior that he loathes both the British aristocracy and his own superiors in the Army, who treat him like he’s lower than the dirt he then passive-aggressively shakes out all over their wardroom at Brockton. Including and especially his commanding officer Lord Thomas, a general who’s about as flamingly gay-coded as Will Tavington in The Patriot.

Oh, and speaking of being driven only by violent pleasure that is entirely incorrect—S2E02 “Not in Scotland Anymore” alone makes this perfectly clear. I’ve previously covered the finer details about Black Jack bottoming enthusiastically, and also enjoying gentler sexual experiences as well as rougher ones.

Black Jack’s interactions with Jenny in her flashbacks from S1E12 “Lallybroch” also shed light on this; once she goes inside the house with him, he only touches her with gentle curiosity until she bashes him over the head with a heavy object. Even then, he responds by…tossing her onto to the bed and getting partially undressed. When she starts laughing at him because he can’t get an erection (a telling piece of evidence of how Black Jack ultimately loses interest in sex if the other person doesn’t want it to at least some degree, or feel strong emotions about it that they’re willing to show) he panics and conks her head against the bedpost so he can flee without it being obvious that she chased him off.

Then there’s also the prior content from Book 1 / Outlander about the scented letters and the maids, some of which also comes back in Book 8 / Written in My Own Heart’s Blood when Roger Wakefield goes looking for Black Jack at Fort William after time traveling to 1739 a couple of weeks after Randall’s installation as commander there. I’ll come back to that a bit later given how much that scene reveals about Randall’s character and his reasons for being in Scotland.

And most of all, his villainy is compounded by the fact that he will rape, torture, and murder men and women alike—an equal opportunity monster.

Correct in essentials on the first two items as I cover elsewhere. Not so much on the third, though! In fact, the TV adaptation clarifies this beyond the information we get in the books. Whereas Book 1 / Outlander features murky rumors about Randall possibly killing one of his own soldiers at Fort William so he can pin the murder on Jamie, show canon makes little of this and indeed offers several opportunities to see Black Jack deliberately not killing people who attack him.

Nowhere is this clearer than in the final episode where he appears, S3E01 “The Battle Joined”. In that Culloden-centric episode, we watch Randall get fully pulled from his horse by a group of Scots warriors who then proceed to attack him. Up to that point Black Jack has just been shooing people away from his horse by swinging his cavalry saber in the air. Once on the ground, he basically just elbows his way out of the cluster of Jacobite soldiers and makes a beeline for Jamie instead.

Then of course there’s also Black Jack’s aggrieved, hesitant behavior at Wentworth Prison in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” right before the cows show up to give him the business. Although Randall is well known for keeping his word, even by people who despise him absolutely, he looks defeated and anxious when Jamie reminds him that he owes him the debt of taking his life ahead of the gallows in exchange for finally “[making] free of [his] body” (see S2E02 “Castle Leoch”) in the night. Jack takes out a dagger and sort of swings it around idly—with a look on his face that can only be described as “Really?” Any playfulness remaining there seems to come from Black Jack eyeing Jamie’s nude body and thinking about what else he might do with the blade besides killing him.

Randall has a zero kill count onscreen in the television show. I’d be remiss not to note here how this places him behind even his own eventual wife Mary Hawkins, often heralded quite accurately as one of the characters in Outlander who comes closest to embodying pure goodness. But of course, the trauma of sexual violence can twist a person’s mind horribly. I might know just a little about this myself. And it only takes one experience, more so given the horrifying context outlined in S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine”. Like anyone else, Mary has the capacity for brutal violence herself if pushed sufficiently far. I consider it something of a miracle I never went that route myself considering my own experiences can scarcely even be counted in any meaningful way. I can only think in terms of years. Seven of them whose shadows will never fully retract. When I say Black Jack and Mary were a perfectly arranged marriage, it isn’t for nothing.

We’ll get to her in earnest, I promise! Of course, I’ve already covered that ground in fiction before.

Randall makes his monstrous mark on Season 1 by sexually assaulting both of the show’s protagonists, Claire and Jamie.

Correct in essentials, but potentially a false equivalence. I’m not sure how much the video essay was intended to set the assaults on Jamie and Claire up as direct mirrors of one another. There is however a common thread here worth pulling out: How in Season 1 Black Jack only goes through with assaulting people who show at least some sexual interest in him.

Randall assaults three people in Season 1 overall: Claire in S1E01 “Sassenach” and S1E08 “Both Sides Now”; Jenny in flashbacks from S1E02 “Castle Leoch” and S1E12 “Lallybroch”; and Jamie in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” and S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul”. He also propositions Claire and Jamie together in S1E09 “The Reckoning” in an echo of propositioning Jamie individually in the S1E02 “Castle Leoch” flashback. But of the three people he assaults, only two respond with any sustained evidence of interest amid their anger and indignation.

The hateful attraction Jamie feels for Black Jack has been flogged—to borrow Frank’s phrasing about press coverage of Claire’s mysterious disappearance and return from S2E01 “Through a Glass, Darkly”—almost as badly as the man’s own back by this point. So I won’t belabor that here except to say it’s entirely nonrandom that Jamie keeps enticing Black Jack into further conflict after recovering from the brutal assaults at Wentworth and discovering Randall alive in Paris. He’s still having horny nightmares over two decades later about everything from weird group therapy scenarios with shamans on misty mountains (not hyperbole, see Book 6 / A Breath of Snow and Ashes for the goods) to fighting a totally naked Black Jack at Culloden and winding up covered in his “hot, hot blood” while they lie on the ground in a clinch (see Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone for that especially choice sequence) and exhausting Claire’s patience so badly in rehashing these that he eventually resorts to rambling about the dreams to Jenny instead.

What doesn’t tend to come out as much in analysis of the TV series is the key plot point from Book 1 / Outlander that Claire feels attracted to Black Jack because of his resemblance to Frank. Not just in appearance, but also in certain mannerisms and pleasures—see the shaving scene from S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and Claire’s flashbacks to shaving Frank thusly with the very same razor, for example. Little surprise then how in Book 1 / Outlander she specifically mentions feeling “compelled to open [her] legs for him” when he ties her hands behind her back at Fort William in the equivalent sequence to later portions of S1E08 “Both Sides Now”.

By her own admission this latent attraction-by-association does not wane entirely until after she and her friends rescue Jamie from Wentworth Prison at the end of Season 1. After that point, things go the other way. Although Claire spends Season 2 in an odd state of détente with Black Jack himself, even after the events of S2E07 “Faith” for which neither she nor Jamie explicitly blame Jack, she initially feels afraid of Frank when she reconnects with him back in the 20th Century as seen in S2E01 “Through a Glass, Darkly”. Why mention this here? That fear only subsides when Claire sees how much Frank treasures being a father to Brianna, the child she conceived with Jamie before going back through the stones to her own time. Indeed, later installments of the book series also show Claire deliberately striving for accuracy in her remembrances of both Frank and Black Jack as complicated men who were capable of deep love.

Scuffling is also arousing for Black Jack. Although the shaving scene demonstrates that this isn’t the only sort of physical pleasure he enjoys, he certainly gets a kick out of it regardless. So Claire’s willingness to scrap with him—including when she literally gives him a kick to the testicles with her knee in S1E01 “Sassenach” after he pins her to the ground in the forest—heightens the arousal and feels like play to him. Contrast this with Jenny’s incredulous laughter and complete unwillingness to take the fight further after hitting him over the head with a blunt object to get him to back off.

Does this take any of Randall’s actions out of the territory of assault? Nope. But it does provide a context to his motivations. Although his means of seeking affection are entirely warped, at the end of the day Black Jack really is after human connection. I’m entirely in agreement with other Outlander fans who’ve mentioned wanting a companion series about the Randall family. I have my own ideas about that history that I’ve referenced in transformative works. I would also love to see Gabaldon’s own perspective on what damaged Black Jack’s psyche so badly.

Finally, Randall’s treatment of women often differs from his treatment of men just in general. By his own admission in S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” he is “not a casual person with women” usually. He says this while expressing regret for how he treated Claire in the woods outside Craigh Na Dun. Which is very genuine per his actor’s own comments about playing the character; Tobias Menzies has mentioned in interviews that Black Jack always believes whatever he’s saying fully in the moment.

Something to note about Black Jack in general is that he will express regret and then claim he doesn’t feel it. This is probably quite accurate considering Jack shows a lot of signs of dissociation and may not feel much of anything most of the time. We see an example of this simultaneous expression and negation of regret in S2E12 “The Hail Mary” during the sequence at the tavern. And although the meaning of Randall’s comment about not being casual initially seems ambiguous, we get the reveal on it entirely in that same episode via the dynamic between Black Jack and Mary Hawkins. He takes her well-being and her safety so seriously that he’d rather die than risk any chance of hurting her.

Of course, his brandy-soaked mind isn’t realizing that she’ll get hurt far worse if he does die. We see enough in both book and show canon to understand how Black Jack treated Mary in life. Even that single moment where he enters the room at the boarding house says a lot; his entire face lights in a genuine smile that reaches his eyes as soon as she looks at him. The interactions between the two of them are some of the most delicate and tender moments of the entire season.

These sequences also provide some context for the different handling of the moments after Alex’s death. In the Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber version of this sequence Black Jack is crying and so drunk he can barely stand, whereas in episode S2E12 “The Hail Mary” he’s more lucid and vacillates between catatonic silence and a harrowing moment of punching his brother’s cadaver. Calls back to Claire’s comment in S1E02 “Castle Leoch” about how “there’s no joy in flogging a dead man” because of course this wasn’t about joy. Black Jack is entirely devastated, both for himself and for Mary. And although Mary herself looks pained at seeing this unfold, and clings to Claire in response, she looks more heartbroken than afraid. Her depth of emotion in that moment contrasts clearly with her apathy at gazing upon Danton’s dead body and Sandringham’s decapitated corpse back at his Bellhurst Manor estate (or Belmont House depending on which version of canon one consults) in the previous episode.

Finally and perhaps relatedly, I should spotlight Black Jack’s “I choose the whore” comment from S1E01 “Sassenach” about his own taste in women. Although part of an ironic commentary on the juxtaposition of Claire’s accent and vocabulary with her ample use of profanity, this also tells us a fair amount about Randall’s overall attitudes toward class. We learn in other portions of canon such as S2E06 “Best Laid Schemes” and various sequences in the first two books that Randall visits sex workers and that there aren’t lurid rumors swirling around about his treatment of feminine prostitutes. Black Jack’s sexual antagonism toward other men is more intense by design.

Randall’s queerness is a weapon that he wields indiscriminately.

Not really. That would be his dick. Randall generally doesn’t go through with assaulting people who don’t show any sexual interest during the initial scuffle. In fact, he can’t even get aroused physically when the other person isn’t fighting him in a horny way. Even when the person is somewhat horny it still doesn’t work for Randall unless their level of arousal is high. We see this with the assault on Claire during S1E08 “Both Sides Now” and especially in the equivalent scene from Book 1 / Outlander.

The only exception to this is an assault that happens during Season 2—which definitely seems like a missed opportunity to mention in direct parallel to the reference to preying on children in Rowan’s analysis of Lestat from Interview with the Vampire. During the S2E06 “Best Laid Schemes” chronology later revealed in full during S2E07 “Faith” Randall assaults Claudel, a boy who either pickpockets or works (depending on whether one goes with the show or book version of the canon backstory) at the Maison Élise brothel in Paris.

On the show it’s clear that he does this specifically to get Jamie to fight him; he knows Jamie is on the premises collecting debts and that Claudel has been walking around with him. Sure enough, upon hearing Claudel scream Jamie comes bursting into the room, hauls Black Jack into the hallway, and proceeds to beat the daylights out of him. The look of delight on Randall’s face at seeing him appear and subsequently getting pummeled by him leaves little doubt as to his objective in assaulting Claudel.

In Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber the timing and particulars of this storyline differ substantially. But as in the show, Randall is canonically an alcoholic and gets progressively deeper into his cups throughout the Paris storyline and his brother’s subsequent health decline. At the brothel he’s so drunk he doesn’t know where he is, what is going on around him, or even seem to remember who he is. Given the greater development of intrigue in the books surrounding whether Randall had a sexual relationship with his younger brother Alex, it seems likely that the angle here is Black Jack somehow seeking Alex in a person who reminds him of his brother during his early adolescent years.

No one is safe.

Aren’t they? Here we go, then. Time for some detailed Mary Hawkins content at long last.

The basics: We learn all the way back in S1E01 “Sassenach” and equivalent sequences from Book 1 / Outlander that before dying at the Battle of Culloden, Black Jack Randall married someone named Mary Hawkins and that she later gave birth to a son named Denys. Claire encounters Mary Hawkins for the first time in France in S2E02 “Not in Scotland Anymore” and grows closer to her while having the vague sense that she knows that name from somewhere. It isn’t until learning in S2E03 “Useful Occupations and Deceptions” that Black Jack himself is still alive that Claire realizes where she’s seen Mary’s name before: Frank’s family bible during a meeting with the Reverend Wakefield.

At first glance, Mary is everything one wouldn’t expect in someone who’d eventually marry Black Jack—or at least Claire thinks so. She feels completely befuddled by how someone who seems so meek and timid could possibly end up with someone like Black Jack. This becomes all the more confusing for Claire in S2E04 “La Dame Blanche” when Mary is getting involved with Jack’s younger brother Alex, a curate who has accompanied his employer the Duke of Sandringham to Paris. After Claire and Mary are attacked in an alleyway at Sandringham’s behest, resulting in Mary getting raped by a mysterious assailant later revealed to be the Duke’s own valet Albert Danton, Alex cares for her—and then gets locked in the Bastille for his trouble. Claire wrestles with her conscience about whether to get Alex freed given her own knowledge of how Black Jack and Mary are supposed to wind up together if Frank is ever to be born at all.

Leave it having half the information resulting in getting things half right, as often happens in Outlander and in life alike.

Mary has been leveling up her confidence throughout Season 2 and corresponding portions of Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber while growing closer to both Claire and Alex. We don’t see onscreen how her social relationship with Black Jack himself evolves once he arrives in Paris—but in the TV series the two clearly know one another well already when Jack shows up at the boarding house in S2E12 “The Hail Mary”. In book canon the different pacing of events puts Black Jack’s wedding to Mary and Alex’s death earlier in the year, leaving a couple months until the Battle of Culloden. On the show Black Jack and Mary are only married for three days but have substantially more history with one another prior to their wedding. Blending the canons offers a portrait of two people uniquely poised to understand each other, united through their shared love of Alex but also oddly well matched on several other fronts.

Have I freeze-framed those sequences of S2E12 “The Hail Mary” that feature Mary and Black Jack interacting? Yes. Several times. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to plummet into that sort of derangement.

For the rest of you fine folk, the cocktail napkin summary here is that Mary represents both the shining gentleness that Black Jack so prizes in his younger brother—and I’d encourage anyone who still thinks of him as a Complete Monster to consider how Alex turned out so well in the first place given Jack is documented as the only member of their family who’s taken responsibility for his well-being—and the capacity for ruthless violence that Black Jack repeatedly points out in himself.

Here I should mention though that Black Jack remains as dedicated to veracity in this as in anything else. When he says “I dwell in darkness, madam—and darkness is where I belong” to Claire at Brockton in S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” he’s saying this as much to convince himself as to convince her. Ditto his comments to her at the tavern, most of all the haunting question: “Do you really want Mary in my bed?” Where exactly would she be safer than with someone who has consistently treated her like gold, who looks at her as if the sun shines directly from her face, and who would move mountains to honor his beloved brother’s wishes? And wouldn’t Captain Zero Kill Count also understand well from Mary’s own history what would happen to him if he were to lay so much as an unwanted finger on her? She killed a practical stranger in all but cold blood with a triumphant hiss of satisfaction!

Badass, by the way. Judging by his responses to Claire throughout the series—see his comments in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” describing Claire as “no coward” and “a fit match for [her] husband” for example—I suspect Black Jack agreed. He even said explicitly in the same episode that he “cannot give [Claire] a better compliment than that” regarding her bravery and nerve mirroring Jamie’s own. I imagine quite a bit is happening behind those hazel eyes (described by Claire oftentimes as cold but noted distinctly by Roger in Book 8 / Written in My Own Heart’s Blood as being warm) whenever Black Jack looks at Mary.

Especially because Mary herself got Randall’s own abuser offed via Murtagh Fraser keeping a promise of his own in S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine” by following up Mary’s own dagger-assisted disposal of Danton with an axe swing to Sandringham’s neck. Consider one of the only things Black Jack tells us verbatim about his life offscreen: In S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” a visibly shaken Randall tells Claire about finding Private McGreevey beheaded a couple weeks prior. By contrast, Mary regards her own godfather’s headless corpse with a shrug and says “I think we’d better go” in a matter-of-fact tone. Mary, all of 16 years old at the time, has no combat experience whatsoever and keeps her cool about this absolutely. Quite an evolution even from earlier in the same episode when she questions her ability to assist Claire in communicating with Hugh Munro just outside to help Murtagh and Jamie sneak into the Duke’s house.

Our girl comes through in the end—right before we watch the steel in her spine break through in earnest as she picks up a dagger from a table full of food and ends her rapist’s life after the reveal of this being the same man who attacked her in Paris. And she doesn’t lose her nerve after the immediate danger has passed, either. When we next encounter her at Inverness in S2E12 “The Hail Mary” she’s bullying a pharmacist into giving her more laudanum to ease Alex’s coughing and pain as his illness progresses. Then when Claire recognizes her and says hello, Mary immediately lights into her for conspiring to keep her and Alex apart.

I’ll note that as a person with progressive lung disease myself, I really appreciated Mary’s ire here. However strategic and born of understandable fears that Frank would never get to live, Claire’s invocation earlier in Season 2 of the tired old idea that chronically ill people make undesirable partners—that we can only take from the world and never give—rings both hollow and sour. After all, I’ve been there before. And in many ways I’m still scrambling frantically to escape the shadow of those ideas. To quote my spouse again: You never stop running until long after the demons finally stop chasing you.

I admire Mary Hawkins because she knew when to run—and moreover, because she knew when to stop running and bring the man who chased her in the first place down in sniveling puddle with a knife through his kidney. “It’s messy,” Black Jack said back in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” of killing people with daggers. But the visceral impact there—exact words and no mistake—never fails to feel any less relatable for me, considering my own experiences.

Here’s the other thing: People came to save Mary Hawkins. When she needed help, people showed up. She killed her own rapist but she had an audience and she had backup. Murtagh demonstrated how seriously he took the promise to avenge Mary if he ever found out who was responsible for the attacks on her and Claire. Black Jack took showing up in Paris to help Alex earlier in Season 2 with similar gravity. In Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber Claire specifically reflects on how “Jack Randall was a gentleman” with all his promises, and has never given anyone reason to doubt his word despite being awful in many other ways. The fact that Black Jack chose to keep his vows to Mary by caving to the self-loathing fear of being able to love her better by dying and leaving her and Denys his pension than by living and showing her the same fierce devotion he showed Alex doesn’t negate the seriousness of those promises in his mind.

Again exact words there regarding love as action. I’m certain from her own subsequent sharing about Black Jack to their son that Mary would have appreciated both the devotion and the ferocity. And likewise, that Jack himself already appreciated Mary’s own variety of darkness and the specifics of how it manifested after first taking root.

In that spirit I highly recommend visiting the Outlander Wiki page about Mary for additional specifics on her background and character arc. Don’t sleep on the pictures if you do venture over there, especially the ones featuring her looking deep in thought while wearing an elaborate silk gown. That’s not the face of an innocent little lamb with no capacity for brutality of her own. And even prior to her rape, Mary often manipulates people to get what she wants by pouting and playing coy. Which of course tracks—Siri, play “Rich Girl” by Hall and Oates! See also my reblog commentary on a dear mutual’s wonderful art envisioning Black Jack and Mary in a happier timeline.

TL;DR: Mary has a lot of steel in her spine. But it doesn’t save her from additional tribulations. Indeed, those further struggles wind up serving as evidence of Black Jack’s own character and how he treated her himself during their brief marriage prior to his death.

I don’t tend to cry over media. But I absolutely teared up reading Denys Randall’s words about Black Jack in Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone. Denys is Black Jack’s son who—true to the expanded version in Book 1 / Outlander of the prophecy Claire whispers into Randall’s ear in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison”—never got to meet him because he died in battle. I won’t go into this in detail just here, but that book resoundingly refutes the idea that Black Jack ever treated his family like anything other than gold.

Even in Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber he speaks with grace and understanding about his older brother Edward, the family heir who is stingy and neglectful and married to a person who clearly and openly hates Black Jack for being queer. In that later book though, we learn how Black Jack actually treated Mary and how carefully he made sure that Denys would always be taken care of financially even if something happened to Mary later on and the income from her widow’s pension was lost. He specifically set aside money for Denys to buy a commission in the Army—or to get an education if he had been considered female, so that he wouldn’t wind up trapped in a loveless marriage for the sake of survival.

The contrast Denys then draws with how Mary’s second husband Robert Isaacs—who was very materially wealthy and very kind to Denys but not a loving spouse—gave me chills. Yeah, Mary Hawkins did get abused by one of her husbands. Just not Black Jack Randall. The clarity with which Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone shows how much better off Mary would have been socially and emotionally if Black Jack had survived to raise Denys with her wrecked me and still does.

I was and am lucky to have an amazing dad. The lies he and my mother told are wholly understandable stains on the records of two people who have always done their best in an absolutely garbage world that thinks very little of fathers who do not sire their children. And I know some of the members of the sperm donor’s family as well, though not my biological father himself. They’re pretty cool people too. One of my great-cousins on that side said he’d be proud to have been my biological father if he too had chosen to donate to that research study. I did cry then. I’ll never forget opening that letter with my hands shaking while I sat on the stoop of my old house. I can’t impress enough on those of you who are direct genetic descendants of both your parents what that meant to me. I can’t tell you how it feels to look in the mirror and always see a huge question mark. To miss a person you’ve never met, to feel them there like the phantom sensation from an amputated body part.

Denys Randall understands that entirely. And as much as Alex clearly loved his son in life and death alike, we come away from that storyline knowing just how thoroughly Black Jack was a real father to Denys. We also learn how Mary keeps his memory alive and still carries a torch for him as she also continues to mourn Alex. Knowing how much she withdrew into herself haunts me. I keep fixing it in my fics. There will never be a story of mine where Mary isn’t loved and cherished—no matter how much trauma she goes through.

Which also seems to have been Black Jack’s philosophy about both her and Denys. Tragically if quite understandably, he deluded himself into thinking he could love them better in death than in life. The reveal in Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone on just how tragic a choice this wound up being still crushes me. Because it’s such a hopeless lesson, isn’t it? The idea that cycles of abuse and violence can only be broken by meeting a gruesome end oneself. That humanity has no hope for redemption. That rapists can only ever be rapists, nothing else. Even if they were clearly many other things all along.

This is, incidentally, why as much as I enjoy exploring continuities in which the specific canonical unfolding of events from Wentworth Prison gets averted to at least some degree, I have more active continuities in which this does not happen. I even retconned one of my older stories somewhat because I realized that for the rest of the continuity to play out as I envisioned it, and fully develop the ideas I wanted to develop, straying more than a hair from the exact canonical take in the initial arc didn’t make sense. The results from that deeper thinking are what I just dropped this past Saturday in observance of Alex Randall’s death anniversary. Among my published stories, I presently have three continuities that feature some aversion of the canonical Wentworth sexual assaults and three others that feature no aversion whatsoever.

Someone once asked me if I thought Black Jack and Jamie could ever have a healthy relationship after what happened at the prison in canon. It certainly seems unlikely. But fiction isn’t exclusively about showing healthy relationships. To me, it’s about showing relationships that make sense for the story being told. And in that regard, I do explore the strange intimacy that sometimes grows between trauma bonded people. After all, it’s a tale I’ve come to know well. One I’ve written in my own life. One I’m arguably still writing.

I cannot bring myself to swallow whatever poisonous purity philosophy would lead me to believe that people who have sexually assaulted others in the past cannot have consensual sexual relationships as well. I also can’t ignore the considerable data I’ve amassed on this from direct personal experience.

If people cannot change, what are any of us even doing here? Why not just give up the ghost of life on a burning planet—leave the indignities and hurts of corporeality behind forever? That sort of thinking seems more bleak than anything Black Jack Randall could possibly say or do. Indeed, him winding up looking at his own choices that way in the end broke two hearts irrevocably. And that’s a charitable estimate. Jamie’s own haunting memories, vivid dreams, and enduring obsessions about Black Jack throughout Book 4 / Drums of Autumn and beyond make clear that killing Randall didn’t solve anything, or diminish the formidable pull Jamie feels toward him. Even in show canon, when Claire reveals in S2E03 “Useful Occupations and Deceptions” that Jack is still alive Jamie breathes a sigh of relief and expresses joy at having his will to live restored.

Sure, he frames this around a specific interest in getting revenge against Randall. What’s that saying about digging two graves? There’s no exact source for this in any documented Confucius writings, but the idea certainly holds up. Jamie almost heads to his own grave for the sake of tangling with Randall one last time. For his trouble he winds up nearly dying on the battlefield, then doing the same from a severe infection secondary to his wounds, then goes on the lam for several years and lives in a cave, and then winds up incarcerated under especially deplorable conditions before getting paroled to indentured servitude and winding up coerced into sex again. All while still having relentless horny dreams about Black Jack—which only get hornier after Claire returns to him nearly two decades later. Amazing.

It perfectly correlates that he’s not just a sadistic person, but also holds a powerful position as a member of a colonizing military force.

This came so close to full accuracy. Like frostbitten Edward Little gasping his last with chains in his face levels of close.

Sadistic person? Yes. Powerful position? Kind of. We’ll get to that in a minute. Colonizing military force? Yes. However, is Black Jack himself a colonizer? Only if one discounts what gets revealed in Season 2 and the equivalent portions of Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber about the Duke of Sandringham having Jacobite sympathies and pulling the strings of Randall’s posting to Fort William.

The Reverend Wakefield and Black Jack’s fifth great-grandson Frank Randall unpack this to some extent in S1E01 “Sassenach” when discussing what Jack was doing in Scotland in the first place and the kind of reputation he built. We don’t get the full goods until close to the end of Season 2 with those scenes in S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine” where the British Army has Sandringham’s estate surrounded with a massive encampment.

To lay things out quite clearly for those less familiar with Outlander canon: Sandringham was deliberately and strategically trying to incite the Jacobite rebellion. He got Black Jack posted to Fort William specifically because he knew Randall could stir up sentiment against the Crown if given the proper conditions. What’s a better weapon of mass agitation than a terrible guy already maligned by his superiors for being bisexual and kinky and having “unnatural tastes” as Randall himself puts it in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” while rambling to Claire? If he didn’t give direct orders for Black Jack to lean into his worst impulses when presented with worthy adversaries, the Duke certainly gamed the system as much as possible by marooning Randall in a cold and isolated place where most of the civilians thought he was weird and most of the soldiers thought he was creepy.

Jack doesn’t connect all these dots directly during the scenes at the prison. But in S1E08 “Both Sides Now” during the Fort William sequences—in the broadcast version but even more so in this extended cut—we get Black Jack’s own perspectives on his posting in Scotland and how thoroughly he isn’t invested in the conflict there. All he wants is to go back home and be warm again. Which of course he can’t do, because it would spell serious harm for his younger brother per everything we learn throughout Season 2 and Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber.

Is Randall powerful in the Army? More so than the soldiers under his command, certainly. But as a Captain—per both what we see in the Brockton sequences of S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and historical information on British Army ranks—he’s subordinate to many others. Who very much enjoy putting him in his place, at that. So in terms of power relative to other English soldiers, he’s somewhere in the middle of the structure. To those now busily envisioning Office Space type corporate middle management AUs: I salute you! And I’m gonna need you to come in on Saturday.

So what about with respect to other people and contexts? Black Jack definitely isn’t powerful relative to the Duke of Sandringham, per other content here. Indeed, he spends at least the last decade or so of his adult life quite firmly under Sandringham’s thumb. Probably other body parts too—see Randall’s hedging comments in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” about the Duke liking to talk “especially when he drinks” for example. Book 1 / Outlander and Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber provide additional context about Black Jack’s positionality relative to others in his world—especially via the Duke telling Claire how much Randall craves punishment.

Finally, let’s talk about Black Jack’s status relative to his self-made enemy Jamie Fraser. By which I mean not at all that Jamie is self-made, because of course he isn’t. As a Laird in charge of his own family estate on which tenant farmers pay taxes, Jamie comes from a more powerful family in the Scottish Highlands than Black Jack’s own back in southern England. We learn more from meeting characters like Mary Hawkins later in canon about how “not all baronetcies are created equal” as I once phrased it. Randall’s own father Sir Denys being a baronet didn’t mean much, as evidenced by Black Jack’s own comments to Claire during S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and equivalent portions of Book 1 / Outlander about his parents paying for tutors to help their son disguise any hint of a Sussex accent.

Ironically the most power Black Jack could’ve had over Jamie in any structural sense would have come from serving as his commander when the younger man fought in the British Army himself. Which would absolutely make for a splendid fic premise, but never happened in canon. Jamie and Black Jack don’t meet until the former is already back from France and settling in anew on his family’s Lallybroch estate in October of 1740.

We certainly meet other people connected to Jamie’s own family who would qualify as colonizers though. Given I already discuss Lord John Grey elsewhere, here I’ll mention Jamie’s aunt Jocasta Cameron as a prime example. Storylines set at her River Run plantation—yikes—beginning in Season 4 of the TV series and corresponding portions of the novels reveal her as not merely a colonizer but an enslaver. One who has the means—and indeed the implements ready at hand—to liberate her slaves but declines to do so. Even after pressure from people close to her. Double yikes.

I don’t want to set Jocasta up as somehow being more villainous than Black Jack; the two characters show us different aspects of the human capacity for knowing harm. However, I do find it telling that a bisexual person whose worst behavior focuses almost entirely on one guy—and otherwise gets directed at people somehow in his orbit—often gets held up as this shining paragon of evil by viewers outside the queer community, a point Rowan makes herself in the original video essay. What I’m specifically unpacking here is the colonialism angle. The bleak side of humanity shows up in many forms in Outlander with respect to colonialism as well as other forms of violence.

The queer figure is not just a danger to the individual, the men or women who might be their victims, but also a danger to society at large—because their existence contradicts oppose truths about what is natural and right.

This tracks. Randall would say so himself—and indeed he does, in almost those same exact words. “I may have what are called unnatural tastes,” he muses to Claire in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” while letting her hair down around her shoulders and then giving her a big old sniff and shivering with delight, “but I do have some aesthetic principles.” You know, just in case anyone was still wondering if Black Jack’s interest in women was genuine. Whether in the show or the books, we get plenty of evidence that Randall is in the mood for cunt as often as not, to borrow his own phrasing.

Incidentally, I need to point out how “me myself, I’m not in the mood for cunt today” is probably the most bisexual line ever uttered on television. Today. Mercy.

And so here we see this twisting of a homophobic rhetoric of queer danger to create a monstrous rapist colonial figurehead.

First, a clarification: The relevant phobia here is biphobia rather than homophobia. Rowan’s video essay covers this overall topic and the distinction between the two phenomena with substantial detail and insight. What doesn’t come through clearly in the video is how gay people are treated with much more respect in the story world of Outlander than their bisexual peers. Nowhere do we see this more clearly than with Lord John Grey, another queer Redcoat whose path intertwines with Jamie’s in numerous ways over the years.

After first encountering Grey as a scared teenager whose life Jamie spares in S2E09 “Je Suis Prest” we encounter him anew years later starting in S3E03 “All Debts Paid” as the incoming warden of Ardsmuir Prison where Jamie is incarcerated. Swiftly mortified by conditions at the prison, Lord John enlists Jamie’s help in working with prisoners and eventually forges a tenuous friendship with him. Much chess is also played. However, a wedge also gets driven between the two men when Lord John places his hand over Jamie’s one evening during a chess game, unaware of his history with Black Jack or how it would make him react to any expression of affection by another man.

But over time, Lord John secures Jamie’s parole to the Helwater estate where each of them respectively wind up entangled with one of the Dunsany sisters. The younger Geneva, a feisty and cantankerous person who develops quite a fondness for Jamie, coerces the Highlander into sleeping with her when she reveals that she knows his true identity and could get him in a lot of trouble. To get Jamie employment and ensure that he could stay out of prison, Lord John had to pass him off as a run-of-the-mill parolee instead of the fabled “Red Jamie” who helped to lead the Jacobite rebellion. Rather ironic considering Jamie killed one of the actual leaders of the rebellion and could likely have gotten significantly better treatment from the Crown based on that—but that’s beyond the scope of this analysis.

Throughout his storylines, whether serving as warden at Ardsmuir or Governor of Jamaica or any of the other roles he occupies over the years, Lord John is shown to be empathetic and kind. Not without fault certainly. Amongst other things there’s an intriguing storyline later in canon involving him and Claire that serves as a reminder of how sexuality is often not black and white. But he does get set up consistently as a foil to Randall, perhaps most effectively in his choice to marry Geneva’s older sister Isobel and care for the child she conceived with Jamie prior to dying while giving birth. Lord John presents a different take on fatherhood, choosing to give of his presence to William Ransom rather than feeling he can love him best in absentia.

The books offer some fascinating scenes in which Lord John’s son William and Black Jack’s son Denys encounter each other while both serving in the British Army in the American Colonies. That’s how we learn some of the information referenced elsewhere about what Mary Hawkins has passed on to her son about his father, and how she feels herself. I resonated a lot with both men’s sense of having a hole inside them. At this point William has lost two mothers and two fathers—Jamie having had quite a hand in the boy’s upbringing until age six. By 1778 when he encounters Denys again, he has learned the truth about who sired him.

I could write a whole other essay about that considering how relatable the entire storyline surrounding William’s parentage is. Folks who read my work likely know by this point that I got into Outlander because the interconnected storylines surrounding the Randall and Fraser families resonate with my own trauma in a way nothing else ever has. For purposes of this essay though, I’ll point out that even after lying to his kid for many years and dealing him a psychic wound that will never heal as a result, Lord John gets hailed as a good dad and a good person.

John Grey absolutely isn’t a rapist. In fact, in S3E04 “Of Lost Things” he reacts with horror at the idea of Jamie giving him sexual favors in exchange for raising his son. It turns out that Grey is already marrying Geneva’s older sister Isobel—another fascinating subject for deeper analysis that I’m planning to incorporate into my “Dispatches from Fort Laggan” continuity.

Brief sidebar apropos of general queer representation themes: The relationship between Lord John and Isobel offers an undersung illustration in Outlander canon of the diverse dynamics in queer marriages. I think there’s ample ground for reading the union between Lord John and Isobel as either a “lavender marriage” between a homosexual and homoromantic man with a heteroromantic or biromantic woman who’s asexual or a purely romantic marriage that doesn’t involve any sexual activity because one person isn’t interested at all and the other person is only interested with members of their own sex.

What’s more relevant here is how Lord John and Isobel clearly share a deep affection for one another that engages their shared love for other family members—quite similar to the dynamic between Black Jack and Mary. In serving as a foil for Black Jack on some fronts, Grey serves as a mirror in others. Unsurprising then how by the time he encounters William again, Denys Randall has dropped “Isaacs” from his surname entirely after the death of his stepfather Robert.

On the colonialism front, it would be difficult to frame Black Jack as being somehow the worse offender. Although not a Jacobite himself because he doesn’t care about the outcome of the English-Scottish conflict one way or another, he serves as an agent for the Jacobite cause de facto by agitating unrest at Sandringham’s behest. Ironically an example of punch-clock villainy in that regard. Although I wouldn’t ordinarily associate that trope with Black Jack for his zeal in antagonistic behavior towards Jamie and anyone in his orbit, it certainly seems to reflect how he approaches his career. Randall has no less antipathy for his fellow English people than he does for Scottish Highlanders, and indeed awkwardly hopes for acceptance by the local people while new at Fort William per his exchange with Roger in Book 8 / Written in My Own Heart’s Blood.

Meanwhile, Lord John’s storyline sees him become Governor of Jamaica. Governor of Jamaica. If that isn’t the epitome of white settler colonialism I don’t know what is.

Here’s a monster against which are two culturally opposed heroes; English Claire and Scottish Jamie can feel equally threatened.

I think I covered most of the relevant contrasts here in my musings on the sexual assaults against Jamie and Claire during Season 1. Here I’ll add that indeed a major plot point for Claire is how she often does not feel threatened by Randall—and how readily he comes to consider her an ally deserving of his deepest respect. This seems especially interesting in the context of Claire’s own ambiguous sexuality, which I touch on directly in some brief discussion of Geillis Duncan. And from their encounter in the gardens at Versailles from S2E05 onward, Claire by her own admission doesn’t consider Black Jack any sort of threat. She wants Jamie to leave him alone and let him help his brother out without the two of them getting into trouble for having horny fights. Dueling was illegal in Paris at the time, and indeed Jamie gets arrested for fighting Black Jack at the Bois de Boulogne a couple episodes later.

Prior to that though, Claire frantically ruins Jamie’s original plans for dueling Black Jack by getting Randall locked in the Bastille overnight on suspicion of raping Mary Hawkins. The irony to end all ironies, surely! Randall himself doesn’t even seem that aggravated about it given Claire did this in an effort to spare his life. He does however feel aggravated about Jamie apparently deciding he’s not worth the trouble to fight, not knowing all the history surrounding Frank Randall or why exactly Claire seems certain that he’ll die in April of 1746.

Both Black Jack and Claire wind up badly injured following the duel—her with a complicated stillbirth that leaves the placenta inside her body and nearly causes death from sepsis, and him from a significant stab wound to the groin. In show canon per S2E07 “Faith” this appears to be mainly a soft tissue injury to the pubic mound and possibly a cut to the side of the base of the penis; in the novel version it’s more extensive and involves some maiming of the penis and one testicle. I mention this now because in Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber Claire reflects specifically on Randall being even less of a threat because of his injuries. He’s also very ill in the novel version, likely from a recent bout of cholera, whereas in the show his physical impairments are caused by the cattle stampede from the rescue sequence at the beginning of S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul”.

So it seems unsurprising that when Black Jack reconnects with Claire at Inverness (Edinburgh in book canon) and begs her to use her skills in healing to save his brother Alex’s life, the two characters find themselves on remarkably even footing. Claire lampshades this herself in repeating Randall’s “I am not the man I once was” line from S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” back to him. Randall also acknowledges this amid strong praise for her medical acumen. He has long since gotten direct perspective on those competencies himself considering the aid she rendered to a badly injured British soldier at Brockton in the same episode, along with her clear success in rehabilitating Jamie’s hand following the extensive injuries Black Jack inflicted to it in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison”.

In both the show and book versions of canon, Claire shows Randall as much compassion as she can, and also expresses respect in her narrations for how he has shouldered the financial and instrumental costs of caring for his brother largely alone. When she urges him to wed Mary in their interactions at the tavern in S2E12 “The Hail Mary” she echoes many of Alex’s own sentiments about Black Jack’s capacity for tenderness and how seriously he takes caring for his family.

Given she already knows how Randall will die, and continues caring for him as best she can even after it gets revealed that Frank’s family line descends genetically from Alex rather than Black Jack himself, her “I’ll help you bleed him myself” comment to Jamie in S2E05 “Untimely Resurrection” seems more for his benefit than her own. Indeed, in book canon Claire feels threatened by Jamie’s lingering obsession with Randall and his repeated rambling about the strange erotic dreams he has about Black Jack. She wants him to have closure on that part of his life, thinking that Randall dying will put a stop to that fixation. Unfortunately for Claire it’s not that simple.

Even Jamie himself doesn’t consider Randall much of a threat in the end. In the book version of canon, he even attends Black Jack’s wedding and serves as a witness for him, whereas Murtagh does this on the show. Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber details how Jamie escorts a drunk and crying Black Jack back to his own quarters, holding him up because he can’t walk on his own. We never find out what exactly happened between the two of them in that room, though goodness knows a couple of enterprising fan authors have done heroic work in envisioning potentialities.

Show canon does deliver entirely on the erotic tenor of the final encounter between the two men just as Book 3 / Voyager does, with much of S3E01 “The Battle Joined” getting devoted to Black Jack and Jamie grappling with each other while moaning against each other’s ears and looking as if they’re about to have orgasms. Makes sense considering the showrunners reportedly instructed Tobias Menzies and Sam Heughan to go for a combination of the final battle sequence from The Patriot and the sex scene from Cold Mountain in their choreography. They definitely nailed it on the filming. Very much the same energy in the books from all of Jamie’s flashbacks to those moments and the time he spent lying under Black Jack’s body.

An irony that seems worth mentioning itself for how Randall’s last act was to protect Jamie from getting finished off himself during the British Army’s death sweeps of Culloden Moore. In light of this and all the other history between the two of them, it seems less surprising that Jamie left his wedding present—which Claire had returned to him for safekeeping before going back through the stones to her own time—of a dragonfly preserved in amber on the battlefield with Black Jack’s body.

And it’s by standing up to his reign of terror that the two come together, eventually falling in love.

Reign of terror? Not so much, for reasons I’ve already gone into elsewhere. What precisely is Randall “reigning” over in the first place? He’s an exiled soldier who got given a remote fort on a bunch of barren rocks surrounded by water in a freezing cold place that he hates. He has no power over anyone except his own soldiers.

In terms of more overt antagonism, Black Jack focuses the vast majority of his awful behavior on someone who even while chained to a dungeon floor could still kill him with his bare hands. Jamie does kill Black Jack’s much larger and stronger bodyguard Marley in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” while restrained thusly. If Randall is keeping the Highlands in any kind of iron grip, it’s so weak that he can’t even keep his own bodyguard alive with a chained-up prisoner. Who isn’t even there by his own doing, mind—Jamie gets picked up by a random Redcoat patrol after getting coerced in S1E13 “The Watch” into joining the Watch with Taran MacQuarrie, a suspected Jacobite accused of treason. More details on this get revealed in S1E14 “The Search” as Claire, Jenny, and Murtagh all strive to locate Jamie.

Much of that falls beyond the scope of this analysis. Directly within that scope though is how whether or not anyone likes it, Jamie survives his incarceration at Wentworth Prison because Black Jack raced down there just in time to get him brought down from the gallows. Given canonical knowledge of how Randall does nothing without sincerity—however twisted that sincerity may be—this paints a complicated picture of his impact.

Indeed, one of the things that makes the dynamic between Black Jack and Jamie so interesting and satisfying is how in many ways they’re equals. I covered that extensively in my Ask response about foil dynamics in Outlander canon, so I won’t rehash it in this analysis. But TL;DR: Black Jack assaulting Jamie, and Jamie assaulting Black Jack in kind, was never an exercise in one person punching up and the other punching down. Rather, it is very much an exercise in two people punching sideways. Which a dear mutual illustrated masterfully in their “Killer” sketch previously shared here on Tumblr.

Claire and Jamie do fall in love though. That process is fairly telling on its own—as Rowan points out herself with the very next insight in the video essay. But a few additional details can further unpack sexuality in the context of that relationship, especially in the context of both characters’ interactions with Black Jack.

By opposing Randall’s villainy, they are essentially fighting to maintain the political and social beliefs of the 1740s Scotland, while also solidifying their own relationship and sexual identities—which are heterosexual and monogamous even across time and space.

Okay, folks. I’m flicking on my megaphone here to remind everyone reading this that Jamie is bisexual and that the omission of this key canonical detail could inadvertently reproduce some of the stigmas against bisexuality the video aims to dismantle. I absolutely do not think Rowan did this intentionally. It may stem from limited engagement with the source material in general. I wouldn’t expect a video essay covering a wide scope of media to go into 16K+ words of detail about a single character! That’s what I’m here for. In that spirit, I highly recommend folks interested in going deeper with Outlander canon revisit Jamie’s own narration of his experiences in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” and the many things he says and does in later episodes regarding Black Jack. The books go into even more detail about how much Jamie still lusts after Randall even after the assault at Wentworth, I’ll note.

The more important point here though is how erasure of Jamie’s bisexuality via inattention to his own words can inadvertently reflect Claire’s own behavior at the abbey in that episode: refusing to listen to Jamie unless he tells her what she wants to hear, and specifically shutting him down every time he tries to make her understand that Black Jack made him face things he already wanted beneath the surface.

Even regarding Claire, nuances abound that seem especially important to explore given the above. Specifically concerning the ambiguity of Claire’s own sexuality—how although she never narrates herself clearly in bisexual context, she certainly gets into some telling situations with Geillis Duncan. Claire may not be explicitly bisexual per her own words as Jamie reveals himself to be from S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” and equivalent portions of Book 1 / Outlander onward. But we can certainly spot multiple bi-coded elements of her character before even getting to the whole Malva Christie business in Season 6 and Book 6 / A Breath of Snow and Ashes.

Geillis herself is another bi-coded villain who could put Randall to shame for the extent of her agenda and advance planning. Indeed, Geillis’s deeper intent and systemic aims qualify her much more classically for the villain designation than Randall himself, who behaves much more opportunistically. Let’s not forget that he leaves Jamie entirely alone for three years until the Highlander turns up in his office window at Fort William with an empty pistol! Likewise, Black Jack’s own service as an instigator of Jacobite rebellion only comes in exchange for the Duke of Sandringham protecting his beloved brother Alex—including not raping him, which gets further lampshaded by Jamie’s comments about how the Duke has treated him over the years.

It also seems worth noting how Claire offers a good example of how people who might be capable of polyamory through their capacity to love two different men at once don’t necessarily want polyamory. That’s why I abandoned a storyline in one of my early fic series development efforts—my first actually, which never saw the light of day in its original form because it morphed into “Dispatches from Fort Laggan” with a much greater depth of attention to the relationship between Black Jack and Jamie in parallel to his evolving relationship with Mary. Which winds up catapulting Jamie headlong into a raging attraction to Geneva Dunsany, someone much better equipped to meet his needs as a bisexual and kinky guy who’s perfectly capable of sustaining unspeakable horniness about an absurdly complicated man while also being a loving and devoted life partner to a woman.

But by making Lestat the only bi vampire in the show, his moral depravity can be seen as in some way linked to an assumed sexual depravity too—specifically of voracious appetite that separates his bisexual nature from either straight or gay counterparts.

This would be pretty accurate for Randall too. Kind of a missed opportunity to get things close to spot-on. With Randall though there’s even some Zig-Zagging of this aspect, which is part of what makes his character great. Although Black Jack has a voracious sexual appetite and is pretty much always DTF, he is also very much a Regular Guy with Regular Dick Function. He can’t just constantly get it up over and over. Between his alcoholism and his constant pursuit of sexual pleasure, he sometimes can’t get hard at all. He even has concerns about this with Jamie at Wentworth, gloating in delight when he does get an erection. The “can you feel that” scene in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” wherein Black Jack pulls Jamie’s hand against his crotch and expresses jubilation at having a boner is one of the funniest moments in the entire series to those of us who enjoy Randall’s character.

This is perhaps a good time to note that one thing queer villain representation often does beautifully is imbuing characters with hilarious and often bizarre senses of humor. When I’ve seen other writers frame Randall as humorless or “harrowingly joyless” I’ve wondered again if we watched the same show. The Brockton sequences from S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” alone ought to debunk this, from Randall’s passive aggressive dust party right down to his impish little wink at Claire while he dumps out the prized claret the senior officers were drinking before getting called out on some kind of wild goose chase.

Then there’s also his sardonic monologuing in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” about possible methods of killing Jamie in the morning, which is entirely tongue-in-cheek and intended solely to make Jamie get annoyed enough to tussle with him. I also consider the weirdly earnest threesome proposition from S1E09 “The Reckoning” when Jamie appears in the window of his office holding an empty pistol. It’s quite clear here that regardless of whether Jamie takes him up on it or just gets irritated enough to fight him fisticuffs and thus give him some nice opportunities to rub up against him, Randall is delighting in the offering.

Finally, we can’t forget his overjoyed little smiles whenever he sees either Jamie or Mary Hawkins. I covered much of this previously via in-depth discussion of Mary’s storylines. So here I’ll note that for all his own efforts to convince Claire that he’d be terrible for Mary, she doesn’t believe Black Jack in the slightest—because she’s already seen how he behaves with her, and likewise both seen and heard directly from Alex how kind and tender Randall has always been with his younger brother. Whom he basically raised, which is a whole other yarn.

Here’s the thing though: One doesn’t need to watch Outlander in any great depth to see that for Black Jack, much of the point of sadism lies in the aftercare. I haven’t belabored that point here overmuch because I don’t want to suggest that caretaking afterwards in any way negates harm done beforehand. However, Randall does consistently show genuine pleasure in taking care of another person. We see this in some ways with Jamie at Wentworth Prison in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” but then get a whole different context on it in Season 2, especially with S2E12 “The Hail Mary” when the curtain finally pulls back fully on Black Jack’s family life. The only moments where he seems to relax at all is when he’s helping someone feel better after a horrible privation—either by his own hand or from the ravages of illness. And in those moments, we see plenty of vulnerability. Which brings us to…

Unlike Randall, there is a vulnerability in and understanding of Lestat’s backstory that contextualizes his behavior.

I’m not so sure about this. Even midway through Season 1 starting with S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” this understanding of Randall’s character begins to fray at the edges. More details on that below. Likewise, we learn a good bit in Season 2 about Randall’s family and what has been going on behind the curtain of his own life as a result. But even beforehand, the scene in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” where Black Jack forlornly talks to Jamie in the dungeon cell while seated and looking at him with sad eyes says quite a bit. He finds Jamie’s rejection in the face of a clear attraction painful; this is no less important for his own vicious response to that pain after Jamie taunts him about having no self-control. Subsequently we see in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” the lengths Black Jack will go to for the sake of affectionate treatment.

Not all love is constructive or good, but Randall leaves little doubt in his own behavior that his actions are very much in pursuit of love. This gets lampshaded a final time in Book 6 / A Breath of Snow and Ashes with the reveal of what Randall mouthed to Jamie in that one sequence of S3E01 “The Battle Joined” just before collapsing on top of him and dying from his wounds. During the abbey sequences in Book 1 / Outlander Jamie also recalls Black Jack lying beside him on the dungeon floor, crying profusely and begging him to speak words of love. Adding in the murky context missing from the show—about Jack having some sort of sexual history with either the deceased prisoner Alex MacGregor and/or his own younger brother Alex Randall—paints a telling portrait of a man desperate for affection and connection.

Though he doesn’t excuse it, we see his traumatic past, and feel how much he yearns for family and love.

Very true about Lestat, certainly. But I’d say this could also have easily been written about Black Jack.

In other portions of this essay I cover Randall’s behavior at Wentworth Prison in Season 1 and the Inverness storyline at the end of Season 2. To rehash here in brief, the only things that matter to Black Jack are (A) someone loving him back in a way he understands and (B) doing whatever he can to take care of his family. Black Jack doesn’t say as much directly to this effect, but he certainly shows us through action that yearning for family and love motivate a lot of his behavior. The fact that his pursuit of these things often happens through twisted means scarcely means he doesn’t want them. Quite the opposite.

As for the traumatic past, Black Jack and other characters alike (especially the Duke of Sandringham) drop hints throughout the Season 1 and Season 2 storylines—and even more so in corresponding portions of Book 1 / Outlander and Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber—that Randall grew up in an abusive home and imprinted on that. It’s also clear from his interactions with Alex that he’s been protecting his brother from a lot over the years. The Duke himself certainly, but also other things. And in the corresponding sequences from the novels Jack goes into some detail about how little support he and Alex have ever gotten from their family back in Sussex, including from their older brother Edward even now that Alex is dying.

Then of course Black Jack himself talks aloud to Claire at Brockton about his traumatic present and how the armed conflict in Scotland has further warped his mind. He’s clearly shaken about finding one of his own men brutally beheaded and speaks in more general terms about being “not the man [he] once was” as a result of his military service. No surprise either that he looks like a fish out of water the one time we see him in non-military dress during S2E12 “The Hail Mary”. Black Jack may not like what serving in the Army has done to further damage his psyche, but at this point it’s all he understands and the only place he feels he belongs at all. On that front…

It’s not difficult to see the parallels between his existence as a vampire, and the isolation and threat many members of the queer community feel.

Here I should also include my response to the aforementioned excellent meta on homosociality in The Patriot canon. As noted previously I’m hoping to release a similarly focused reflection of my own in time addressing Outlander canon directly. For now I’ll applaud Rowan’s general attention in the video to how bisexual people often become isolated within the queer community as well as in the world at large.

Double marginalization is a lonely experience in the utmost—and one that can breed tremendous resentment. That anger has to go somewhere more often than not. Even without the added burden of silent rage from sexual violence and the constant “insult to injury” experience of having our own trauma collide with that of others walking a similar path, things are tough. And the data on experiences of rape and abuse in the bisexual community remain incredibly damning.

So again, I think Lestat and Black Jack would find plenty of common ground in one another’s histories. Although Lestat himself doesn’t really meet the criteria for sexual sadism, he certainly enjoys bloodplay and the general aesthetic of violence as part of intimate congress. This isn’t surprising in the slightest considering how the capacity to enjoy such pleasures often grows and sharpens in response to abuse of any form, including rape and domestic violence.

My own life has certainly been an exercise in this. If that seems confusing, consider: For people who are well accustomed to people bleeding on us when we didn’t cut them, it can feel immensely satisfying to have someone bleed on us because we did cut them.

Whereas the initial seasons of Outlander have no sympathetic or heroic queer heroes at all, Interview with the Vampire does give us another lead who fulfills this protagonist role in Louis.

I’m glad this was the last content in the video that mentioned Outlander directly. I think there’s enough context from the rest of this segment for viewers to understand the intended contrast here. Prior to Season 3 we don’t encounter characters in Outlander who are fully immersed in their queerness other than Black Jack, whereas Interview with the Vampire centers characters who show more of that immersion from the beginning on both the protagonist and antagonist sides.

Given the centrality of Jamie’s character arc to Randall’s though, the omission of his own bisexuality from this video essay seems quite the lost opportunity. To reiterate, in both versions of canon beginning with S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” and equivalent sequences from the novels we get verbatim documentation directly from the source that Jamie is bisexual himself. This is in addition to his earlier comments about considering the prospect of sleeping with Randall at Fort William and only turning him down because he thought his dad would be disappointed in him. Not for having same-sex relations, but rather for capitulating to another man. That’s a lot to unpack, folks.

Indeed, Jamie’s storylines throughout the TV and book series alike are often demonstrations of how the ideation of heterosexuality and the pressure to live a heterosexual life do deep harm to bisexual men. This gets lampshaded further by the anvilicious contrasts constantly drawn between Black Jack and the decidedly gay Lord John Grey. The latter is set up as a perennial foil for Randall, getting into similar scenarios with Jamie—starting with his time as warden at Ardsmuir Prison in Season 3 and Book 3 / Voyager—but taking them in entirely different directions. Which I appreciate in essentials for the spinning of a superb narrative about complex post-traumatic stress. More so for living with that particular set of issues myself.

Once again for the good of the Republic: If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.

Apropos of this, I want to express particular appreciation for the video’s exploration of the “puriteens” phenomenon—and incorporate a caution for those slightly elder members of fandom. It can be very easy for people to fall into the trap of assuming that bisexual people are always hypersexual. And even easier to assume that those bisexual folk who truly are hypersexual are automatically threats because of this. More so if said individuals also happen to be kinky, and especially if they are specifically sadistic.

I mention this now because as queer people marginalized from within the queer community as well as without, bisexual and asexual folk stand on common ground. I have seen the transformative power in allyship between bi and ace people in fighting our shared oppressions. Sadly I have also seen many successful efforts to tear that natural solidarity asunder by making ace people fear us as predators. And the first against the wall, same as always, are the hypersexual and kinky among us.

So I’m happy beyond words to see openly ace creators like Rowan Ellis standing up for bisexual people. Making sure that our struggles and our humanity alike are always seen and valued. In kind, I strongly encourage everyone reading this to take this analysis of Rowan’s commentary on Outlander in the spirit in which I intend it. To say that I strongly support both the general content and overall standpoint of this video would understate the case.

Indeed, I offer this detailed analysis now because I know the depth of Rowan’s commitment to diverse queer representation. I want to build on the dialogue sparked by the video and to bring that depth on Randall’s character to the impressive breadth of focus in Rowan’s overview of queer villains. The fact that doing so amplifies the labor, effort, and insight of an asexual creator made me even more inclined to give this my full effort. I hope Rowan will keep putting her voice and perspective into the world for many years to come.

For now, I’m grateful for this opportunity to once again bring Black Jack Randall to my little corner of the Internet in dizzying detail. And moreover, to do so in amplifying the work of a fellow creator explicitly naming the harm done by respectability politics surrounding queerness.

Randall may not be the bisexual representation everyone wants, but he’s absolutely the bisexual representation the world needs. Because if he isn’t a resounding comeback to respectability politics that attempt to deny “problematic” bisexual people their basic human rights—and indeed an effective illustration of the deep harms those kinds of approaches to queerness not only do directly but also reproduce in cyclical patterns—I don’t know what character possibly could be.

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ivyblossom · 16 hours

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Still going with this is outrageous and inappropriate love letter to Edmund Pevensie/Narnia fan novel that has already overtaken the word count of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe and is rapidly heading towards lapping it.

I had originally hoped this might be a novella rather than a full on novel, but clearly I hadn't met myself back then. Sweet summer child of one month ago. Self-awareness is a valuable tool.

This is a smutty chapter, which I feel an urge to apologize for, because apparently I have some kind of guilt about that sort of thing. I don't know what that's about, what do I think we're doing here, gardening? I rated it explicit from the start, what do you want, right?

I'm not really a smut writer by nature, that's why everything I write is a slow burn, it takes me that long to work up to that stuff, which I fully acknowledge is valid anyway and doesn't have to have narrative significance, but I can't manage the write it unless I believe in my heart that it is narratively necessary, (see note about guilt above), and then I apologize about it for no reason anyway. But honestly, who cares? Right? I dunno, it's weird that I do this, but here I am. I put myself in this boat, I can't be allowed to feel sorry for myself.

But to be clear, I didn't just show up trying to find a way to make Narnia sluttier, a perfectly reasonable goal but genuinely not mine! I'm not the one who put the god of wine, ecstasy, and orgies in Narnia in the first place, that was C.S. Lewis, I'm just a fanfiction writer standing in front of AO3 asking it to accept her bizarre, canon-respectful Narnia smut that just got so much smuttier. Sorry everyone!

And of course AO3 says, "why are you asking me, just hit post, what is it you think we do here?"

This chapter was also the moment I've personally been waiting for, when one character finally recognizes what I've done to him and what's happening in this story and says, with great gravitas and insight: "—wait, what?" I've been looking forward to that.

Big props to Lucy in this chapter for being the only Pevensie who has a clue, as usual.

Also, I have given Peter Pevensie 90% of all the 1940s slang in this story for some reason, but I stand by that decision, it feels right. Peter is hip to the slang. Pip pip!

#fanfiction update notice #Edmund/Bacchus #Narnia fanfiction #This is a thing I'm doing #I'm sorry and no one needs my apology but I really am sorry

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the-al-chemist · 3 days

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Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday! As you've written a fair bit about Charlie, I'm sure you've thought a lot about dragons by proxy. Are there any headcanons/ideas you have about dragons in your world (that Charlie is likely to talk about at length to people)? - @hphmmatthewluther

Well, look who is here asking me about things that I love to talk about. Dragons? Yes please. Charlie Weasley? Even more yes please.

So, I had a good think about dragons when it came to Learning to Fly. I’m a stickler to canon, so I knew I wanted them to be completely wild animals, but I needed to have Norbert(a) able to interact with Charlie. So, I based my “characterisation” of dragons on a few things, some of which made it into the story, some of which remained unpublished.

Until now.

I’m so sorry, you hit my nerdy/hyperfocus spot. This is such an essay of a response. I’m leaning into it with picture examples and everything…

Anatomy/Physiology

Firstly, I used birds as an inspiration. This is an obvious one, sort of. Generally, you have two different dragon appearances in recent western fantasy: either they have four legs plus a pair of wings or their wings are their front limbs. In the Harry Potter films, they use the latter. It’s less cute, but makes more sense in terms of them actually being able to fly.

All the terms I used to describe Norbert(a)’s body parts were anatomical terms for these body parts in birds, e.g. the keel. The keel is the breastbone, and in birds the muscles used for flight all attach here in order to keep the centre of gravity low on the body for flight. There are tendons that then extend up through a loop of bone and act as pulleys for their wings, the bones of which are actually very similar to our own arms, if you look closely.

As well as their flight mechanisms, birds have a bellows system of air sacs that I wanted to borrow for my dragons. Birds use these for respiration (think about oxygen at high altitudes during flight), but for my dragons, they have another purpose. Because, what else needs oxygen? What is it that dragons are most famous for? What is responsible for those burns on Charlie’s arms?

Fire.

I am not much of a reptile expert, so I didn’t take much in the way of inspiration from reptiles when writing about my dragons. I do, however, have the headcanon that, like all reptiles, dragons are cold-blooded. Most physiological adaptations have more than one purpose, and so, my dragons don’t just use fire for hunting and defence purposes — they use it to keep themselves warm. They produce the flames in their thorax, where there is a good oxygen supply and the blood can be warmed easily due the proximity to the heart, and the muscles and thick bone of the keel are able to protect it.

Behaviour

I used more elements of dog behaviour when writing Learning to Fly than anything else, for the simple reason that it is the animal body language I understand best and that I thought most readers would understand best. However, I would argue that dragons are far more like cat species than dogs in regard to their behaviour, so I included some cat-like tendencies as well.

Dogs are social creatures, and most of their behaviours have evolved in order to maintain order within a pack. They hunt in packs, roam in packs, raise offspring in packs. Other than lions, cats are usually solitary creatures, only joining together as adults to mate. There are exceptions, of course, but this is usually the rule. The same goes for dragons, from what we see in canon. Therefore, their behaviour will largely be based on avoiding conflict in order to avoid injury to themselves, and on solitary hunting. I did put this in with Norbert(a) — in one of the final chapters, she engages in play behaviour by mimicking hunting, like a cat.

I also took a lot of inspiration from orcas, mainly in respect to the ethical arguments surrounding their captivity. If you haven’t seen Blackfish, you should definitely do so. I headcanon dragons to be immensely powerful and intelligent beings with wide roaming ranges, who do not cope well in captivity. In canon, it is known that dragons are too dangerous to keep as pets, and judging by the treatment of the Gringotts dragon, the ones that are kept in captivity do not lead happy and fulfilled lives.

I have written several times that dragons kept in captivity suffer from severe impairments to their physical and emotional health, to the point that they have reduced length of life as well as quality of life compared to their wild counterparts. Most of that has been in the form of dialogue from Charlie.

Three guesses what is the thing he really won’t shut up about…

#al speaks #charlie weasley #dragonology #about those dragons tho #dragons #wbw asks #did I mention that I love dragons

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buckybarnesss · 6 months

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on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 1-3

on fire was published on july 17, 2012. the day after raving had aired during the show's second season.

it was written by nancy holder who has written many, many tie-in books for multiple franchises but most notably she wrote novels for the buffyverse.

by tapping nancy holder to write the novel confirms to me that mtv was trying to do what teen wolf's spiritual predecessors did and create tie-in novels with the show and on fire was testing the waters for that.

it did not succeed because teen wolf doesn't have the kind of space for that. the timeline is too tight. teen wolf was part of the new netflix binge era. it had a seasons of 12 episodes that were wall-to-wall plot. there weren't silly filler episodes and they didn't do monster of the week plots.

on fire assumes that you have seen episodes 1-5 of the show but it is also an AU of season 1 post-the tell.

i get the vibe that the author was given notes, some information or like an outline that she used to build a plot so it's interesting to see what tid-bits holder uses and refers to that still gel with canon or is consistent with what we know.

this isn't a novelization of season 1 that's for sure but, hey, i took notes.

i'm going to break the novel up into 3 chapter chunks.

so without further ado let's get into it. on fire: a teen wolf novel or as i've been thinkin of it as.

the novel starts right at the very end of the tell after the parent teacher conferences.

the way it's described when argent shoots the mountain lion brings to mind the scene in to kill a mockingbird when atticus shoots the rabid dog. chris argent is no atticus finch but he sure does learn to walk a mile in someone else's shoes doesn't he?

i somehow always manage to forget that the tell is the episode where allison turns 17. she doesn’t live to see her 18th birthday. shot through the heart man.

oh my fucking god scott. the way this is written i imagine holder is trying to invoke derek and kate as if there’s some wild age gap between him and allison when they're like 9 months apart in age. allison is not kate jesus chris. look at this shit:

“scott hadn’t known allison was seventeen, a year older than the other kids in their class -- older than him -- and didn’t want anyone to know.”

Fuck Rafael McCall. Meet me outside and catch these hands.

“he knew his dad wasn’t keeping up with child support payments. not that his mom had ever mentioned it.”

this is where the transition into heart monitor would be. it is a pretty terrifying dream scott has. peter’s such a dramatic bitch. scott’s dreaming of being in the woods with everything on fire and then he’s being compelled by peter to come kill with him. which just reinforces my whole thing about peter and scott being psychically connected. we don’t see this with any other alpha-beta connection to this degree. derek senses victoria killing scott in raving but we really do not get this in the show very much as it seems to be a Dark Sided power. but we do see peter use it again in season 6a with the whole “you were my beta first” scene.

scott mentions stiles’s having ADHD so to me that means that nancy holder was definitely working with the idea that stiles does have it. stiles having ADHD seems like a plot thread that got dropped really quickly by the show but remained in dylan’s acting choices and in fandom’s mind.

scott is the only beta we see experience sleepwalking episodes. it seems tied to the compulsion and mental link he shares with feral alpha peter.

the entire paragraph is something. firstly, it wasn't until night school, the episode after this one, that peter tried to push scott into killing his “pack”. but lol melissa called stiles scott’s “litter mate” and stiles wearing his target shirt that he wore in wolf moon and the one that subtextually could reference the nemeton and eventually scott's pack symbol. i don't believe we ever actually saw that shirt again. the tragedy.

“stiles had on his bullseye t-shirt, and it kind of freaked scott out when he wore it. as if it meant that stiles were a target. They both knew the Alpha wanted Scott to kill him to cement Scott’s acceptance that he was a member of the Alpha’s pack. Who better to take down than the guy Scott’s mom had once referred to as his “litter mate”?”

this is where it's starting to get kind of weird because the plot of this book takes place during season 1 but it’s not strictly following the plot. it feels like an alternate season 1.

jackson has gone missing. when is he not missing is the more appropriate question?

so chapter 2 starts with scott and stiles joining lydia and allison at The Popular Kids Table to discuss jackson being missing. this wouldn’t have happened in season 1. this dynamic didn’t exist until at minimum season 3. lydia didn’t even acknowledge stiles’s existence until the winter formal at the end of the season.

jackson’s parents apparently went to paris right after the parent-teacher conference, leaving their high school age child alone for an extended period of time in the middle of the school year? what? no wonder jackson’s fucked up. why didn’t they just go around christmas and instead they waited another three weeks or some shit. that is weird.

jackson’s been left a note from a supposed private investigator about his birth parents while his parents are out of town, which is totally not sus at all. 🙄🙄 lydia's concerned about him looking stupid so she won’t go to the sheriff and she doesn’t even approach jackson’s best friend danny. like, danny would know a lot more about jackson than scott or stiles would. lydia, i know allison is the one who involved scott but for fuck’s sake.

look even a page later lydia says “he and jackson barely know each other.” then why are you involving scott in what you seem to believe is a personal matter?

do people just generally know jackson was adopted? i can see lydia knowing but scott and stiles? allison just fucking moved there so she doesn’t know anything about anyone. this is quite the personal piece of information i doubt he’d want others to know lydia.

this is such an AU because after the parent-teacher conference stiles was giving scott the cold shoulder due to his dad being hurt.

also stiles is supposedly sitting at this table the entire time lydia, allison and scott are talking and has not given his opinion on the matter yet. very unlike him. if there's one thing stiles has it's opinions on jackson and his father's job. stiles would be all over this.

this fucking line is brutal man -- “stiles was the only person on the planet who knew he had become a werewolf. well, derek knew, too, but derek hardly counted as a person.” that said, i do think it’s accurate to scott’s headspace at this point regarding derek. avoiding seeing derek as a person is a way of detaching himself from the situation he’s found himself in.

alright so we’ve got a POV change to allison --a nd it’s all about how cute acott is. allison I love you but chill please.

okay so this is interesting. “her mom had been angry, too. allison could tell that if had been left up to her, she wouldn’t have been so harsh about having to stay all weekend. her mom liked scott.” are we sure we’re talking about the same victoria argent? granted this is pre-werewolf reveal so as far as victoria knows allison is just mooning over a nice normal human boy but i have a hard time imagining this being the same victoria who gave us the crazy eyes and the sharpening your dick metaphor.

this still haunts me.

"except i won’t get to spend time with scott except at school until i’m, oh, 112.” oh right in the feels

this book really assumes you’ve seen episodes 1-5 of the first season. allison’s mentioning aunt kate and the necklace in a way that makes the assumption the reader knows who and what they are.

jackson’s password for his tracking app is “captain”. that is worse than the password being lydia or like scott famously having allison as his password. y’all suck and have shitty computer security.

these kids are sophomores in high school and lydia and allison are really having a discussion about jackson going to a pay by the hour motel as if that’s a thing 15-16 year olds do in the california subburbs on a regular basis. as if jackson would lower himself in such a way to begin with. he’s snobby as fuck. it’s such a weird conversation.

i am page 20 and i feel like so far this author hasn’t been very nice to stiles. not having him say a word in the lunch conversation about jackson despite not only being very opinionated about jackson whittermore’s general existence he’d also have thoughts on a missing person. like, he didn’t even speak when his dad was brought up as a possible avenue of help which is odd. then about a page later there’s this sort of tone used around stiles that feels condescending about him being hyperactive.

this paragraph is, uh, something that could’ve only been written in 2012 because it feels gross:

“lydia shrugged. then she turned to allison. “tell you what. if the boys are willing to the motel for us ---” “to a motel. to look for a guy,” stiles said. ”maybe you should ask danny?” danny, their lacrosse team goalie, was gay, out and proud. “he could act, you know, more casual about it.”

that said, it does track with stiles being overly occupied with the perception of his sexuality and that danny does shit he’s way too young to be doing which is written around his sexuality. remember the whole older boyfriend and going to the jungle thing is season 2?

it has been like 23 pages and allison’s got this subplot where she wants to have sex with scott. like girlie you’ve known scott for 2 days, keep your pants on. (it keeps coming up with scott too and it's annoying, okay).

it took stiles barely a paragraph to mention derek hale when the point of view switched to him. sir.

i’m laughing at how derek’s point of view is paired with stiles in the way that scott and allison’s are. even in the non-canon book the Sterek Agenda is there.

“a prankster with a wicked sense of humor.” is what derek refers to peter as before the fire. is that what we are calling it derek because i would disagree.

“i dreamed of other alphas coming after me. why? it’s not a crime to kill an alpha. i’m a werewolf. the way we progress in status is through challenge.” now this is an interesting perspective. werewolves progress via challenges. that's still sort of in-line with what we see in canon.

allison and scott are driving into the seedier side of town. AKA what seems to be where the poors live. scott describes seeing boarded up buildings, pawn shops and “some kind of clinic where you could sell your blood.” which I assume is a plasma center where people donate and get paid in return and this little classist shit says “remind me to never get a blood transfusion.” god he’s such a 16 year old..

i saw kate's name on the next page where chapter 4 is

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #heather reads #on fire: a teen wolf novel #or teen wolf the AU

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kinfeelings · 15 days

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Kitty-Cat Babblings.

Being all-the-cats is a definite ride.

I’ve nixed a lot of my vaguetypes because over time it became clearer they were just cameos and flickers, so now I’m back to just a handful. Eevee and vaporeon, my cluster of OCs, original species and AU canon characters, and yes, of course, all the Felidae. “Felidae” includes all earthly extinct/extant felines, as well as partial/mythical/fictional ones. When I say partial I mean like sphinxes and felitaurs (the feline version of centaurs), for two examples. A mythical example is the cait sidhe/cat sith from Celtic lore, and then some fictional examples would be meowth, liepard, or luxray from the Pokémon franchise.

I know there are people out there who hate their ‘type(s) for whatever reason, but I don’t hate any of mine, except for perhaps the OCs/AU canon character ones when the memories/noemata get really unpleasant. But when it comes to the felinity of me? I adore it. I can’t imagine not being feline. It’s such an ingrained part of my identity, it just took me years to unravel it from thinking it was merely a heart-type/kith to it actually being me, the one ‘type I have the most certainty of. I have felt close with cats from my earliest memories, though, being the grabby and loud child that I was, cats didn’t start liking me until I got older and wiser. (I don’t dislike my eevee/vaporeon vaguetype either, but it’s a bit lower on the scale of Yes, Absolutely, That’s Me, than Felidae are.)

Lions, servals, domestic cats, caracals, jaguars, Scottish wildcats, you name it, I feel kin with it.

#leon speaks #alterhuman #otherkin #cladotherian #othervague #vaguetype #my post

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notsoscarlet · 19 days

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^ placeholder graphic until i can get smth better. be patient.

anyway, this is a closed and affiliated RP blog for samto from fire emblem: (new) mystery of the emblem, as interpreted and loathed (/j) by axl.

notes on portrayal:

post-game by about a year or so. had been traveling with navarre and phina as suggested in fe12's epilogue, but split off for... reasons.

under the employ of the blue lions house as an assistant teacher, specializing in practical sword-fare. his discipline is perhaps a bit lacking, but he's got the experience and heart (maybe) for it.

to be fully honest this is my mental illness palace: samto is basically a nothing character in canon but i've been obsessed with him for 5+ years and i'm not joking, so if anyone can seriously RP him, it's me. i think.

lastly, this is a minor thing but i'll ask you don't refer to him as samuel at the very least in interactions. i just never adjusted to his officially localized name and i have no plans to do so honestly LOL

mobile/quick links:

muse :: mun :: stats :: interview ::

tags:

TBA SORRY

#PINNED

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epelletea · 1 year

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Guardians of Twisted

A/n: A silly little probably on-going thing I'll write for fun. Basically the Great Seven come back to life and have to be mentors for their respective Dorms! Also funny haha of the title being based off of Guardians of The Galaxy Small Headcanon(s): Idia is very much related to Hades in this because why not and Hades is still kinda alive?? But not really?? I don't know how to explain it. Fairy Godmother is also alive?? Along with a few other characters.

This is obviously very non-canon and is my own little Au! Enjoy!!

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

Chapter One

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

There in the darkness, stood large and tall. The 7 great statues of Twisted Wonderland finest of Villains. The Tyrannical Queen of Hearts, the Nefarious Sorcerer Jafar, the Mischievous fae Maleficent, the Manipulative Sea Witch Ursula, the Prideful Lion Scar, the deadly beautiful Evil Queen and one the most feared gods Hades.

The statues began to shake and crumble. As if it were shedding a new shell. The first one to crumble away was Jafar’s statue. With a really loud groan and tight grip on his specter he pushes away any leftover rubble on him. “Oh great Allah, no matter how many times I do that I’m always going to get a crick in my neck.” He complains, holding the back of his neck and cracking it in a violent manner. “Ah. Much better.” He says out of relief. “You’ll get used to it.” Hades statue says as it engulfs in blue flames revealing Hades himself in his true form. “You only say that because you are used to this shit.” An irritated voice rings out. “Someone help me out of here. You! Big forehead! Pull my tentacle out.” Ursula shouts out. Her lower half was still completely covered in stone.

“You will refer to me as The Queen of Hearts!!” The red queen yells angrily as her statue turns red in anger. In a fit of rage it breaks off with the Red Queen hopping up and down in a tantrum. “If only I had my soldiers! I would've gotten off your head sooner!!” She yells waving her scepter in the air agressively. “Oh, could you please not start with her. Her yelling gives me a headache.” Scar whines covering his ears with his paws. He sits on his pillar lazily as he side-eyes to Maleficent’s statue. Her statue stood still and silent.

“Where the hell is she? Isn’t she the one who called this meeting?” The Evil Queen asks annoyed, flicking off any remaining dust on her. “Hey queenie.” Hades yells out. “What is it?” Queen asks annoyed, sparing a glance towards the blue flamed god. Hades only smirks and points at his nose. The Evil Queen raises an eyebrow and looks down at her nose. She gasps out loud realizing it was crooked. She quickly fixes it, covering herself from everyone. “Ahem.” She coughs out, pretending nothing had happened. Hades starts to laugh out loud along with Jafar at the Queen’s nose.

“Hello!? Anyone!?? Octopus is still in stone over here!” Ursula shouts as she struggles against the stone.

Loud maniacal laughter rings out throughout the room. Maleficent’s statue begins to shake and crumble. As green lightning starts emitting from it along with the ground slowly rising in green flames. With a big explosion , her statue explodes with rubble flying out everywhere. “Hey! Watch it! Woah!” Ursula screams as rubble comes in contact with her breaking her fully out of the stone. “Rejoice my villainous friends!” Maleficent's voice yells out. She stood tall and proud with a mischievous smirk on her face. “Today is the day!” She steps out her stone pillar and walks over to the mirror with a fast pace.

The other villains quickly gather around her in confusion but curiosity. “Today is the day we can finally roam around the world once more!” She lightly taps her scepter on the mirror. The mirror reflection begins to ripple as it starts to change. “What do you mean! Roam!?” Queen asks excitedly, grabbing onto Maleficent’s shoulder. Maleficent’s shoo’s her hands away from her in disgust. “Don’t touch me. What did I say about that?” She quickly shakes her head and puts her attention back on the mirror. “For the week, there is going to be a blue moon. With this blue moon we are able to make a pathway towards the real world.” She explains. “Only for a week? How disappointing.” Jafar sighs. “Be grateful! We could still be stuck in that stone for another thousand years!” Maleficent with swift arms hits Jafar on the head. “Now my friends! The portal is ready!” She yells out. The mirror begins to ripple aggressively. “Onwards to freedom!” She yells out.

One by one, each villain walks through the mirror laughing maniacally leaving Maleficent to be the last one. She bangs her scepter on the ground. Green fog is emitting around her form. Green lightning shooting of it and with a loud roar. A giant black dragon appears from the fog as she flies immediately through the mirror.

Colors of red, blue, green etc are swirling around. As a giant black castle begins to appear in view. The view suddenly zooms in quickly into the castle straight into a hall of mirrors. There was a crowd of people standing around, talking amongst themselves as if they were waiting for something.

“Ladies and gentlemen, get ready!” Yells a feminine voice. She was dressed in white and purple fabric. Next to her were three ladies. The first one was dressed in red, the middle was dressed in blue and the last one was dressed in green. “Wands up!” The one in white yells. A loud roar emits from one of the mirrors. “Now!” She yells out.

Colors streams come out of their wands as Maleficent dragon form flies out from the mirror. The color streams quickly hit her body making her roar out in pain struggling to keep flapping her wings. Struggling she slowly falls to the ground, her dragon form retreating away, soon revealing just herself. “Quickly grab it from her!” One of the women yells out. A man dressed in black and purple clothing with a crow mask grabs Maleficent scepter making her immediately react to grab it back but only fails by falling to the ground. “Remember kids. Stealing is bad, don't do what I do.” The man says handing the scepter over to the woman dressed in white. Maleficent weakly looks up around her to see her companions that were also weakened on the ground around her except for Hades he was sitting there bald and wet. She shoots a glare towards the three women that stood next to her.

“Flora… Fauna… Merryweather. What a delight to see you three.” She says sarcastically. “I knew it was too good to be true!” Ursula shouts out angrily. “And those little fairies took my scepter too!” Jafar groans, picking himself up from the floor. “Now this is just plain shameful. Water doesn’t weaken me but still I’m bald now!” Hades complained touching his head where his fire hair used to be. “Now could I please get your attention.” The woman in white yells out. “Now as you can see we have weakened you all. We were well aware of you all coming down so we took extra precaution to this. Let me introduce myself! You must’ve heard of me. I am Fairy Godmother.” The woman announces making her way to stand in front of the villainy bunch. “The bipididi bopidi boo bitch? What are you going to do to turn a carrot into a carriage?” Ursula laughs out. The other villains join in with her laughing. Fairy godmother rolls her eyes and puts a hand out to help up Maleficent. Maleficent only scoffs at her pushing herself off the ground without her help. “So. Why are we here then? You could’ve just locked us back up.” She questions dusting herself off.

“Well one, it was a pumpkin not a carrot. Two, if you haven’t noticed already.” Fairy Godmother moves herself out of the way and gestures towards a group of students that stood in the background wide eyed in shock by what was happening in front of them. “I thought this would be a nice educational moment for the students here at Night Ravens College to get to know the people they are learning about. Isn’t that right Mr. Crowley.” Fairy Godmother ensures looking over to the Crow masked man. “I think that’s an absolutely perfect idea. Here we have our Dorm Leaders with their Co leaders. Let me introduce them to you all.” Crowley says, smiling, walking over to the first group.

“Y-your royal highness! I am Riddle Rosehearts!” The small red hair boy blurts out nervously quickly getting on one knee bowing down to the Queen of Hearts. The other two men behind him quickly follow him doing the same. “These are my Co-Leaders: Trey Clover and Cater Diamond.” He introduces. “Your highness. It is an honor.” Trey says, bowing his head. “I am resisting the urge to take my phone out right now.” Cater whispers. “Don’t.” Both Trey and Riddle whisper out in response to him. “Hm. They aren’t my royal guards but they will do for now. All of you sit up straight!” The Red Queen orders out. All three of the boys quickly almost stumbled over each other and stood up straight. “Looks like you already have that under control. Onto the next one.” Crowley walks over to the next group.

“This is Leona Kingscholar and his Co-Leader Ruggie Bucchi!” Crowley announces. Scar yawns and looks up at the two feline-like people. “I couldn’t care less who you are as long as you don’t bother me if I am sleeping then we are good.” He says lazily, rolling his eyes. “Same could be said for me.” Leona replies. Scar side eyes the small hyena standing next to him speechless staring at him. He snaps his paw at him forcing Ruggie out of his trance. “Take a picture and maybe it will last even longer.” He chuckles out maliciously.

Crowley moves on towards the next group. “Ah. This is Azul Ashengrotto and these two over here are Floyd and Jade Leech.” He introduces. Before Azul could say anything Ursula does a loud ‘Hm’ as she stares at the twins behind him. “You two remind me of my little babies. They were named Flim and Flam. Oh, I loved them so much until they died.” Ursula states in a slightly sad manner but covers it up with a cough. “Miss Ursula. You have been my biggest inspiration and role model.” Azul says cutting in. “Hm. You have taste. Not everyone looks up to a great and powerful Sea Witch like me.” Ursula boasts confidently, pushing her hair back.

Shuffling over to the next group, Crowley raises his hand up to introduce, he is quickly shoved to the side by a man wearing a Robin Hood-like hat. The man gets on his knee taking the Evil Queen’s hand giving her a small peck on the back of her hand. “Mademoiselle, it is an honor to meet you right now.” The man says. “Hmph. Unhand me.” The Evil Queen says disgusted rudely, taking her hand away from him. “Apologies Madame. I am Rook Hunt.” Rook moves back, bowing his head at her. “I apologize for his sudden behavior, your highness. I am Vil Schoenheit.” Vil says glaring at Rook for his reckless behavior. The Evil Queen looks Vil up and down. Examining his looks and attire. “Wow. You are quite the beauty. But not as beautiful as me obviously.” She ‘compliments’. “That coming from you is enough to satisfy me.” Vil responds with a slightly pained smile.

With that, Crowley moves along to another group. “This is Kalim Al Asim and Jamil Viper.” He introduces. Before Kalim could give Jafar a peppy ‘Hello’ Jafar scoffs at him and shoos him away. “Ugh, you remind me of the Sultan and it only gives me nothing but anger while looking at you. But you, however…” Jafar shoves Kalim to the side leaving him standing there sad and confused. Jafar looks deeply into Jamil’s eyes causing Jamil to become slightly unsettled by the sudden action. “You.. have potential. I can practically see right through you. You can do many things…” Jafar states. “Jamil what does he mean by th-“ Kalim mouth gets covered up quickly by Jamil. “Don’t worry and don’t question it.” Jamil replies quickly. Jafar only laughs out loudly at the sudden reaction. “This is going to be fun.” He chuckles deeply.

Crowley slowly walks away from the group and signals to the Fairies to keep an eye on them. He clears his throat and stands next to well, not exactly a group.. It consists of a small kid with a tablet. “Ah. That Idia. Still refusing to come out of that hole of his.” Hades says annoyed. He crouched down to the small kid holding the tablet. “It would’ve been nice for my own grandkid to come by and see me.” He says speaking into the tablet, poking it. “It would’ve been even nicer if you stayed where you were and never came here.” A voice speaks out of it. “You gotta stop leaving your brother to do things for you and touch some grass for once would’ ya??” Hades insults, his lips turning into a scowl. “I try to take him out of his room sometimes.” The small child adds in. “I’m surprised he listens to you but good job Ortho.” Hades takes his hand and scuffles up the boy’s hair (if that’s physically possible).

Crowley stands on the side holding a hand to his heart. “I love Family Reunions.” He sniffles, wiping a tear from his eye. Last but not least, he finally stops towards the last group. Only one man stands there alone. “Now, isn’t this weird? Mr. Draconia, where is your Co-Dorm Leader?” Crowley questions, shocked. “He said he couldn’t make it but he will be at the dorm if you need him.” Malleus responds. “I’m quite shocked as well. He usually never leaves my side and wouldn’t let an opportunity like this go to waste.” He adds in. “I’ve heard all about you. You are supposed to be my next suppressor for the Thorn Fairy title.” Maleficent informs sluggishly , lifting herself off from the ground. “I’ve watched over you for a while. I must say. I’m quite thoroughly impressed with your abilities. But let’s make one thing clear.” She says staring deeply into Malleus' eyes, her eyes maliciously glowing green. “Until my time is left in this world. I will be taking my title back.” She says with a smirk. Malleus is quite surprised by the words but nonetheless goes back to his cool demeanor. He doesn’t respond to what Maleficent says, he only smiles and nods his head.

“Now that is out of the way. The Dorm and Co Dorm Leaders will lead you to their dorm and show you around. When it is time to dispatch, there will be a knight ready to escort you into the place you will be staying at.” Fairy Godmother says, waving her wand in a circle while small sparkle dust particles arise from it. “Bippity Boppity Boo!” She chants. The small sparkle particles lay towards the ground as knights in shining armor appear from it. “Bippity Boppity Bug off.” Ursula sneers , laughing at her joke while the rest of the Villainy crew laughs along with her. With a loud ‘Hmph’ from Fairy Grandmother she puts her wand away. “I hope these kids teach you some manners as well. I will be leaving you with Mr. Crowley. Please ring, if you need me! Oh and I’ll be taking these.” She says taking the scepters from Crowley and Fairies hands. “Come on ladies. We don’t wanna keep Mickey waiting… God knows what he is up to right now… Toodles!” With a small wave of her wand she and the other fairies leave.

“Well I hope we can all get along and have no troubles this week. Now let’s get you all situated with the school.” Crowley announces, and with that the Villainy Bunch had now suddenly became Mentors for a group of kids that practically idolizes them… who know what they will be in for this week either good or bad.

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mournivaldisco · 16 days

Text

A master post of all my Warhammer fic.

Silly - crack/outside of canon, no smut:

Assorted Yarns from the Warp – random cracky one-shots about various characters

An Average Monday on Prospero – Primarch bodyswaps

The Primarchs Read Mean Tweets – self-explanatory

Never Have I Ever – primarch drinking games

Documentary Evidence – Dorn reviews Mersadie’s memory coils during her imprisonment

Sanguinala Silliness – in the 41st Millennium, Guilliman and the Lion try out Sanguinala customs. Works up to shipping, no smut.

Fluff or silly, but could technically take place in canon:

The Bear – Tarik tells his favourite joke to the Mournival

Mountain Heart – The Lion inhales sleepy cuddles pollen. Set on Sotha during the Unremembered Empire

Dreamtime – sleepy Sanguinius

Serious - missing scenes/reinterpretations close to canon, no shipping that would be unimaginable in canon (take with a pinch of salt if you are not a Loken/Mersadie shipper):

These are my favourite to write. Just taking the canon and pushing it a teeny bit.

When the Sky is Burning, When the World is Falling Down – missing scene from The Solar War. Loken and Mersadie

These Depths Were Always Meant for Both of Us – written before EatD vols 2 and 3 released, set in upcoming books. Loken and Mersadie

The Death – written after finishing EatD 2, set in upcoming book 3. Loken, the Emperor and Horus, mentioned Sanguinius

Dynasty – written after finishing EatD 3, set some time immediately before the Siege. Horus and Fulgrim

After the Fall – written after finishing EatD 3, set at climax of that book. Loken and Mersadie

Serious/smut – doesn’t conform to established canon, heavier shipping:

Reconnect (WIP) – divergence at the point of The Solar War. Mersadie/Loken fluff in epistolary form. No smut

A Day Dark with Night (WIP) – Set immediately after Curze’s attack on Azkaellon. Sanguinius/Azkaellon. Will contain smut in future chapter

A Steamy Meeting – Guilliman, the Lion and Sanguinius in the bathhouse on Macragge during the Unremembered Empire era. Smut

Inconsequential – Set during Unremembered Empire era. Established Guilliman/Lion/Sanguinius. NB Sang coming out. No smut.

Vampires will Never Hurt You – Guilliman’s POV on the 41st Millennium, mourning Sanguinius, with flashbacks to Unremembered Empire era with G/L/S (smut). This is my favourite single thing I’ve written.

That Intimate Knowledge – written after finishing EatD 2, looking back at Horus/Sanguinius’ relationship. Little bit of smut

Scenes from a Reunion – written after reading The Lion: Son of the Forest. Technically not aligning with canon re Launciel and Galad because in canon it was just subtext

Experiments – Set in the 41st Millennium when Guilliman decides to remove the Armour of Fate. Smut starring Yvraine.

Sudatoria – Sanguinius and Guilliman in the bathhouse in Unremembered Empire era. Smut.

Quality Time – the Mournival discover porn. Smut

Closer – Sanguinius/Jaghatai set during the Siege. Smut

A Horus Heresy (WIP):

Series which became an AU Heresy. Everyone is bonking each other.

Heresy of the Free Spirit – Horus/Sanguinius first getting together, set after Melchior. The first Warhammer smut I ever wrote.

We’re Falling Through Space, You and Me – Loken and Mersadie getting together, set during Horus Rising. Smut (There’s a line in this which makes me giggle to re-read because it’s so abrupt, like Mersadie, slow down girl.)

The Time of Perfect Virtue – AU from Horus Rising events. Loken or Mersadie’s POV until later chapters. Smut and drama and heresy.

A Gathering – Fulgrim/Horus/Sanguinius threesome. Smut

Come Ruin and Rapture (WIP) – continues the cliffhanger from the Time of Perfect Virtue. Smut and drama.

Milestones – an OC from this AU contemplating things. Gen.

#warhammer fanfic #a03 fanfic #horus lupercal

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skrinesis · 9 months

Text

Writing Commissions are open!

Original and Fandom requests accepted!

Are you looking for a personalized story all your own? One where you're in charge of the narrative? Let's work together to create the novel in your heart.

Slots Taken: (1/5)

Commissions Status: Open!

An example of my writing can be found here: (x)

Prices:

$5 - 500 words

$10 - 1,000 words

$15 - 1,500 words

$20 - 2,000 words

** If you'd like a higher word count I'd be willing to negotiate price.

If you're interested, keep reading!

Original Content:

I will need at minimum one main character for all tiers. Max two main characters for the lower two tiers (500 and 1k) and max three mains for (1.5k and 2k).

I will also need descriptions of your character(s). Are they tall? Short? Lanky? Chunky? Bubbly? Stoic? You're free to give me as much or as little information as you'd like but the more I have to work with the more I can incorporate into your story. If you're having trouble building your character I've made a little template here that might give you a little guidance. And of course we'll be working together to figure out what you'd like!

I will also need a prompt for your story. Are your characters blossoming into lovers? Are they sworn enemies in their final battle? Are they two best friends out on the town? Even a one sentence prompt will do, but as I stated above, the more details you give me, the more I have to work with.

*** I accept DND characters as original content.

Fandom Content:

Fandoms I will write for (non exhaustive and may update! You're also free to ask if I'll write for something!):

Obey Me! Shall we Date?

Legend of Zelda:

Twilight Princess,

Skyward Sword,

Breath of the Wild,

Tears of the Kingdom

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

(I've only fully completed the Blue Lions Route and I'm past the timeskip in the Golden Deer route.) (I know a far bit of spoilers though.)

Death Note

Nier: Automata

Nier Replicant (remake)

Kingdom Hearts

Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony

The Magnus Archives

I accept canon/canon and oc/canon requests.

I will need at minimum one main character for all tiers. Max two main characters for the lower two tiers (500 and 1k) and max three main characters for (1.5k and 2k).

For oc/canon requests I'll need some information on your OC. You can give me any kind of information you like but the more details you give, the more I'll be able to work with! If you're having trouble figuring out what to include, I've made a little template here that might give you a little guidance.

I'll also need a prompt from you on what you'd like your story to be about. Is this a romantic story? Or is it more angsty? Maybe spicy? Again, even a one sentence prompt will work but the more information you give me, the more I have to work with.

All of that sound good? Awesome! But there's some housekeeping we need to go over before we can get you started.

I will require payment at the time the request is finalized. I take payment primarily through kofi or venmo.

You will be allowed one edit after the story is completed and sent to you. Any further edits after the first initial one and I will have to charge for.

I will need roughly one to two weeks to complete a oneshot of any length (unless otherwise specified if you’re asking for a custom order). Within that time period, please refrain from asking me about the status of your work. If after two weeks I have not completed your story, feel free to shoot me a reminder.

If I exceed the word limit you will not be expected to pay for it.

I reserve the right to turn down any commission.

This is a safe and inclusive space. All characters of any gender, race, sexual or romantic orientation are welcome here.

Commissions are for personal use only.

You are not allowed to claim any work commissioned from me as your own.

I do not consent to having my work used for or in AI.

NSFW Terms of Service:

NSFW stories will not be sold to minors.

In commissioning NSFW work from me, you are agreeing that you are of legal age to purchase and view such content.

Noncon, incest, bestiality, pedophilia, necrophilia ect are not accepted.

I tend to write a bit on the lighter side as far as kinks go, but DM me and we'll see if what you're wanting aligns with what I'm comfortable writing!

If all of that sounds amenable to you then let’s work together!

#writing commissions #commissions #oneshot commissions #legend of zelda #obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me shall we date #totk #botw #twilight princess #skyward sword #danganronpa v3 #the magnus archives #death note #nier automata #nier replicant #fe3h #fire emblem three houses

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lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 2 years

Text

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Pairing(s): Margaery Tyrell x Baratheon!Reader, Tommen Baratheon x Margaery Tyrell

Warnings: canon character death, cuckold

Words: 2202

Summary: A glance and a sassy comment. The more time you two spent alone together, the less of a sister you became to one another. It wasn’t your intention to fall in love with the wife of your brother. You had never really felt bad about it when Maragery was married to Joffrey, but now that she was wed to your sweet Tommen. . . You couldn’t do that to your sweet lion.

You caught her once again staring at you with such obvious flirtation in her glittering eyes that it took everything you had not to out right blush. She knew exactly what she was doing as Margaery’s smile expanded. Oh she was sweet, sure, but boy did she have a penchant for mischief. The more you got to know your twice good-sister, the more you saw. Margaery had her public personality and then her private one. Not even Tommen, her now husband, had gotten a peek of it. In the comforting silence of the gardens, you had been gifted that side of Margaery.

“Don’t even think about it.” Telling her, you can’t help but glance at the two patrolling guards. Even in your own home you were still subjected to being monitored. Especially after the death of your brother Joffrey. Your mother grew ever paranoid that someone would go after you or Tommen next. Myrcella, having been sent to Dorne, was not of concern since she was safe and sound under the protection of the Martells. Cersei kept you and your brother close to her; never were her eyes too far from you. In fact you wouldn’t doubt if she was gazing from her balcony upon the garden right now at you and Margaery. There was obvious dislike for her. Even when she was engaged to Joffrey, your mother never had much love for her. She always warned you to be careful because she had an inkling that Margaery was in fact trying to advance the Tyrell name by becoming queen.

Of course she was. Who else would want to marry Joffrey if it wasn’t for the prospect of becoming queen. Well, that is beside Sansa Stark. Poor girl had been utterly in love with him when she was a young girl. Sansa had to learn the hard way that Joffrey wasn’t the prince she thought he was. It took the execution of her father to figure that out.

The day was beautiful, even so that the guards would agree as they passed by your canopy every so often, grateful that it was just the queen and princess they had to guard. An easy day for them.

Margaery’s eyes flick back to her cards playfully. “What are you talking about?” Sunshine danced behind her, making her glow in its light. Many men had gone through the Red Keep, claiming that you and your mother were the great beauties in all of the Seven Kingdoms. They were all wrong. In actuality it was Margaery. No other woman could ever measure up to her.

Putting your cards down on the stone mosaic table that stood between the two of you, you place your elbows on your knees and lean forward. “That thing you do where you think I’m not paying attention. Your eyes scream how desperate you are to kiss me.”

A hand on her chest in a shocked fashion, she exclaims “My eyes? I’m most certain they do not scream that.” It was cute how she couldn’t even pretend to be shocked. Her real self bleeding out.

You shrug. “Hm. I guess I was wrong. You don’t want to kiss me.”

“Now hold on, I never said that.”

That’s how your relationship had blossomed. A glance and a sassy comment. The more time you two spent alone together, the less of a sister you became to one another. It wasn’t your intention to fall in love with the wife of your brother. You had never really felt bad about it when Maragery was married to Joffrey, but now that she was wed to your sweet Tommen. . . You couldn’t do that to your sweet lion. Tommen had a puppy love for Margaery. If he were to find out about the two of you, it would destroy his gentle heart. Not only that but you could potentially be imprisoned if anyone else were to find out.

The Tyrell Queen leans over to get closer to you. “Who wouldn’t want to partake in the delicacy that are your lips.” Her voice barely rose above the buzzing of the nearby bees. It was only meant for your ears. Margaery was always more bold than you. Her Queensguard was composed entirely of knights sworn to house Tyrell. She was always confident that none of them would tell a soul. Words were wind though and you never let your guard down, especially in front of her guards.

Anxiety makes you lean away from her advances. Heat creeps up your neck as you frantically check to see if there was anyone around. “Please Margaery. . .”

A little bit of her light dims, smile stalling before ever so slowly dipping down. “(y/n). You don’t have to worry.”

“I do though. I have a lot to worry about. I told you we should be more careful. Things are different now that you’re married to Tommen. He’s not Joffrey. Nothing like him.”

She closes her eyes. “I know. I’m sorry. I just. . . I forget. Having to see you after being apart. . . I just want to kiss you.”

You fell back into your chair, heart constricting. “I want to kiss you too. But I can’t.”

“I only married Tommen to stay close to you.” Margaery sits up, laughing a little despite her eyes becoming glossy. “I did this for us.”

Tommen was leagues better than Joffrey ever was, but it didn’t change the fact that the two of you loved each other deeply. All the things that had happened since you met was because of your love. Neither you or Olenna could ever allow Margaery to stay married to Joffrey. Something had to be done with the tyrant, even if Margaery was fully capable of taking care of herself. Joffrey was a monster. He needed to be dealt with.

You never questioned Olenna how she intended to get rid of your terrible brother. Even as you watched him suffocate to death, you forced yourself to watch without blinking an eye. Watched as his eyes bulged and face blooming purple. Deep down you felt shame for feeling no sorrow, no emotion, as Joffrey died. The only sadness you felt was for your mother. She had loved that beast fiercely despite how horrid he was. Cersei had always been blind to his atrocities.

“I know.” Chimes that had been hung on your canopy, imported from Tyrosh, tinkle with the passing breeze. “I’m sorry it’s just, this time it’s different. I love you, but I love Tommen more. He’s my sweet lion. It would kill me if he ever found out and it broke his heart.”

Your words pained Margaery as was clear with the flush to her cheeks and the tears that dripped from her eyes. Her full lips quiver. “I. . . I understand. . . He is a sweet boy. . . Can I get one last kiss?”

Heart sobbing in your chest, you stiffly nod.

Margaery gets up from her seat and drifts over to you like a ghost. She leans over you, beautiful chestnut hair kissing your face before her lips descended on you.

Fire blazed in her as Cersei found herself frozen on the spot. Rage consumed her as she stood witness to Margaery Tyrell kissing her eldest child, her daughter (y/n). Cersei wanted nothing more than to strangle the now Queen of Westeros.

Now the tart was moving in on her daughter. Cersei wouldn’t let that go unpunished.

Absentmindedly Cersei goes to touch her sheared blonde hair. Remembering the time she spent being tormented by Septa Unella. Betrayed by her own cousin Lancel.

King’s Landing was full of snakes. From the moment the Golden Rose of High Garden set foot into the city, Cersei knew immediately that she didn’t like the beautiful maid that was to wed her first born son. Her son that was King of all the Seven Kingdoms. To make matters worse was the fact that Margaery had previously been wed to Renly Baratheon, the man that crowned himself king. An imposter. The moment he was killed, Margaery fled, on to her next victim. She should have never listened to Tywin that the Tyrell girl was the best bride for Joffrey. Looking at her now, Cersei was aware of what Margaery was after. Not too long ago Cersei had been much like her: wanting to be queen and stopping at nothing until her goal was reached.

Sharply, Cersei turns on her heels and walked the other way; pretending that she had seen nothing. Margaery’s time was coming. She would regret the day she decided to meddle with Cersei’s family.

Unceremoniously you were thrown into your brother’s room, much to his own shock, by the Mountain. All you had tried to do was attend the trial of your mother and Margaery.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Tommen demands.

“This oaf won’t let me go to the trial.” You hiss and glare at Gregor Clegane. “It should be starting soon and people will notice if we are missing.”

Pale brows scrunch up as your brother attempts to size up Ser Gregor but it’s obvious that he wouldn’t stand a chance. “Who put you up to this?”

You pace over to the window that had a wonderful view of the city, including the Sept of Baelor. “Who do you think Tommen? There is no one else that he obeys but our mother.”

Confusion was still plaguing him as he steps away from Gregor’s blocking form. “Why would she make him do this though? Is she going without us?”

“I don’t know.” It confused you. Where was your mother?

Even though Tommen was king, that little to persuade Gregor to move. Those haunting blood red eyes of his just stared without any focus. You still didn’t understand exactly how Qyburn had brought the brute of a man back to life. Seeing him die with your own eyes you had been quite shocked when your mother had showed up with him one day. It wasn’t right. He wasn’t right. Unholy and damned, you hated being around Ser Gregor. Every inch of your skin crawled whenever he was around. You dared not mess with him.

Your little brother walks over to your side to look over the city. “I feel uneasy. . .”

“Me too. . .” What else could either of you do? The Mountain blocked the only door and you weren’t about to scale down the Red Keep. That would have been insane. Your body disagreed as it itched to get out by any means possible. Cersei had purposefully kept you and Tommen from the sept. Why else would she have Gregor put you in Tommen’s room and stand guard. Moments like that made you find similarities between your mother and your late grandfather. Tywin Lannister had a magnificent mind that was always scheming for the sake of his family. Before his untimely death you had overheard him talking to Cersei about your marriage. How it would guarantee further support and allies. Who they had been planning to marry you off to, you never found out. All talk of marriage was snuffed out with his death. Compared to your uncles, your mother took after Tywin more than they did. She had aspirations and drive. Unwilling to give up on something once she had her mind set on it. And unwilling to forgive if she deemed that someone had done her wrong. Much wrong had been done to her recently at the hands of the High Sparrow. After spending weeks under their torture, she had come back to the Keep filthy, naked, and her once beautiful hair cut close to her scalp. They had done a number on her. For the first time your mother had cried in your arms when she saw you.

Fear clicked as a thought entered. You knew your mother wasn’t the forgiving type. What if. . . what if she had plans for the High Sparrow and his ilk? And today was the day when she planned to play out her revenge?

You found breathing to be difficult as panic settled into you and made your head warm and dizzy. It hurt. Vision grew blurry.

“(y/n)? Are you okay?” You hear Tommen’s soft voice, filled with concern.

“I don’t feel good.” You hold on to the windowsill, trying to steady yourself as you look away.

Even though he was scared of the Mountain, Tommen turns his face to him. “Please. Get someone to help my sister.”

Margaery.

Margaery was in the sept.

Waiting for you.

“Please! Do something!” His voice quivered. For being king he lacked the power, the authority. Everyone knew all the power belonged to Cersei.

Then you heard it. A far off deafening clash.

Tommen freezes, his neck stiffly turning toward the window to see the distant plume of dark clouds that had enveloped what had once been the illustrious Sept of Baelor. The sept itself was crumbling down, being enveloped by the smoke and green flames. Gentle green eyes widen in absolute horror as he helplessly stares at the havoc. The screams of those caught near the crossfire drilled into your head as you struggled to gain control over your own body.

The clanging of a broken bell echoed the breaking of your heart.

#margaery tyrell x reader #margaery tyrell fanfic #margaery tyrell fanfiction #reader insert #game of thrones fanfic #game of thrones fanfiction #asoiaf #asoiaf fanfic #asoiaf fanfiction

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frickingnerd · 5 months

Note

For the Ask Game give me... Fire Emblem 3 Houses and Hopes (since they have the same setting)

answers for the ask game under the cut!

3 male characters I love:

only three? this is really hard for this game 🥺 one of them has to be dimitri, who's just my absolute favorite fire emblem guy out there. i think the other two would have to be claude and ferdinand. i love all three of them so much, they have such compelling stories and their s-supports are absolutely adorable! plus, they all got great va's! honorable mentions to sylvain and seteth (or just every male student 👉🏻👈🏻)

3 female characters I love:

my favorite fire emblem girl is dorothea! i absolutely adore her and i'm so glad she's one of the bi options! she also says one of my favorite lines in the entire game. spoiler: if you kill ferdie but have dorothea recruited, she'll remind you of the times when he was on your side and just... got that part always makes me cry! plus, she's voiced by allegra clark who i adore! that woman is so talented and funny, she's genuinely perfect for the role as dorothea!

my second favorite girl is petra who's just really cute. her little language mistakes are adorable and she's such a genuinely kind person. i absolutely love her!

third place is hard, but i think i have to go with flayn! she's just such a sweet heart and such a funny character! plus i love her va as well (her va & seteth's va act like actual siblings in all their interviews togethers and it's both adorable & very funny).

3 romantic ships I love:

byleth and dimitri, for sure! this is absolutely a self insert situation, i'm not even going to hide it. i love dimitri and his relationship with byleth is very sweet, but i'm def cheating a bit by picking them.

second place has to be dorothea and ferdinand! i love both of them so much individually but they somehow get even better when they're together??? i love their A support in three hopes, where they are just yelling at each other and everyone assumes they are a couple. they are definitely in love and nobody can convince me otherwise. plus, again, their va's have such a funny dynamic with each other and they are great individually, but even better together.

i can't actually decide on a third pairing because i like all those ships equally, but some that come to my mind are lysithea x cyril (very cute & wholesome), edelgard x claude (very interesting dynamic; likely frenemies to lovers) and like... pretty much all the blue lions with each other. seriously, these people should all date each other. i can't even pick a fav blue lions ship!

3 platonic dynamics I love:

my favorite platonic pairing is seteth and flayn! they are really funny but they also deeply care for each other. but seriously, the seteth & flayn related memes are some of the funniest ones in the FE3H fandom!

claude, dimitri and edelgard are another platonic dynamic i love! there is just so much conflict, but especially three hopes shows that they can work together well (and they should smh 😔). if they just had some group therapy, they could be great friends!

and my third pick is claude and flayn! flayn is such a sweet and innocent character, but claude being this chaotic schemer would absolutely be a bad influence, but in the funniest way possible. he's like an older brother that teaches her curse words and seteth would hate him for that!

3 favorite moments in canon:

this is a bit hard, but i think my favorite scenes from three houses are the reunion with dimitri and the reunion with edelgard. the reunion with dimitri was very bittersweet, but mostly beautiful, while the reunion with edelgard was much more heartbreaking. her "when next we meet, one of us will breathe their last" absolutely kills me everytime. my third favorite moment in canon comes from three hopes, when dimitri spares edelgard at the end of his route and edelgard realizes that dimitri is the boy she used to know as a child. like, if only they had realized it sooner... :')

3 favorite headcanons:

headcanon number one is that claude is an older brother figure to flayn (& also to cyril, but i'll be focusing more on flayn–). like, he's absolutely a bad influence to her and he keeps telling her to do what she wants and stop listening to seteth so much, but flayn is always super worried about disobeying seteth. but over time, claude does get her to do more things she wouldn't have done otherwise, like taking her to the market and buying her sweets, teaching her slang & curses or even getting her to skip classes on occasion.

slightly related but i headcanon that seteth & rhea do not understand teenage slang. like those two are old and cringe and i mean this in the nicest way possible! they are constantly asking the other teachers what those students meant when calling them "dilf" or "mommy" and if that meant that they view them as a mother figure. meanwhile the other teachers (mostly manuela, shamir & catherine) are trying so hard to let them think that those are just compliments, while also trying to figure out which student said that, so they can give them detention... seteth and rhea also keep using slang the wrong way and nobody dares to tell them.

and my third headcanon? uhmm... poly blue lions! they are all dating each other. i don't make the rules here.

3 least favorite things about it:

this one isn't too bad, but the first part of each route (white clouds) gets a bit boring after multiple playthroughs. it would've been nice if they switched up the missions a bit, to fit the individual classes more.

another thing i dislike is that you can't train & have supports with dimitri for quite a while after the time skip. like, i get that he's busy with being depressed right now, but gameplay wise it gets really annoying when everyone surpasses him, because he can't be trained.

and another thing that isn't too bad but still a bit of a waste is the fact that there isn't a golden route. i feel like this could've worked very well, if they had jusr established that every time a new playthrough starts, byleth rewinds time with the divine pulse and she keeps all the memories of former events, so she can create a future where everyone lives. but this one is more of a nitpick than actual criticism.

#ask game #ask frickingnerd #darkest and deepest desires #fire emblem #three houses #three hopes

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