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schrijverr · 1 month

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How to Survive Gotham as a Goon

Late one evening, a goon is there to witness his boss – Red Hood – shoot at Robin. Which means he goes through the five stages of grief as he imagines all the ways Batman will skin them, trying to get Red Hood to stop before it’s too late, which only leaves him with more questions.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: references to violence & gun shots

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Joseph does not want to die. He especially does not want to die at the hands of Batman. It might seem unlikely that that will ever happen, even if Joseph is a henchman, however watching his boss whip out a gun to shoot at Robin, he knows it might only be a matter of time.

It’s kind of the unspoken rule of the goon and henchpeople underworld to not hurt the kid in a way that’s permanent. While the big villains don’t keep to that rule, Joseph had hoped that Red Hood, with all his rules surrounding children, would be different.

However, all that hope is snuffed out when the two of them are taking a smoke break and Hood spots the kid on a warehouse across from their own.

Joseph is immediately on guard as he goes to scan around for the Batman, despite knowing it’s quite useless. But Hood stiffens in anger and screams: “You!” as points at Robin.

The giggle Robin lets out is heard easily as it echoes across the yard. It sends shivers down Joseph’s spine. He knows Robin is just a kid, but all goons and henchpeople have learned to fear the sound of that laugh and it isn’t any less intimidating when he can see the kid giving them a jaunty wave.

Hood’s street instincts must be broken, though, because he doesn’t do any of the things you’re supposed to, instead scrambling for his gun. Joseph is so in shock that he doesn’t even stop him when the first few shots ring out.

Across from them, Robin back flips away from where he was just sat, thankfully not getting hit by any of the bullets.

Robin starts to run and Hood follows him with a spray of bullets, yeering loudly: “Yeah, fucker, ya better run! Ya better fuckin’ run! If ya ever pull tha’ shit again, I’m killin’ you. Killin’ you! Ya hear me?”

Joseph gathers his senses and against the better instinct of keeping his boss on his side, jumps Hood, pushing his gun away as he exclaims: “Are you crazy!?” while Robin disappears over the rooftops.

Hood pushes him off and Joseph lets him, though he likely couldn’t have stopped Hood even if he wanted to, the man is built like a brick house. “What’re you onnabout?” Hood frowns, like he truly doesn’t realize who he just shot at.

“You shootin’ at Robin,” Joseph exclaims. “Do you have any idea the kind of carnage ya would’ve brought down on us if ya’d hit ‘im?”

“What?” Hood asks, sounding truly confused and a little taken aback.

“Do you really not know? By your accent I would’ve sworn ya were from ‘round these parts,” Joseph replies, more confused than normal by his enigma of a boss.

“Well, I’ve been outta the loop for a bit,” Hood grouches. “Explain.”

“I mean, most of the big fish don’t keep to it, but it’s common knowledge to not hurt Robin too bad unless ya want the big Bat to rock your shit,” Joseph explains. “I was already in the henchin’ business when the little guy first hit the street. Course we were all wary of ‘im but what ya gonna do? Fight a little kid?”

Hood lets out a bitter snort, commenting: “Yeah, who’d do that.”

Joseph isn’t sure where that comes from and hesitates for a second, then cautiously goes on: “But the kid was good, better than any of us thought. Fuckin’ embarrassing tha’ was. So we started fighin’ back a little, ya know. Actually punching the kid here and there. It was Jimmy who first truly hurt the kid.”

“Wait, Vegetable Jim?” Hood asks.

“Yeah, isn’t a vegetable anymore. Sonnabitch’s damn lucky that Wayne Enterprises offers compensation for those hurt while working, including hench work,” Joseph laughs a little bashful and awkward. “He clipped the kid with a baseball bat, broke his arm. God, I never heard a kid wail like that,” Joseph grimaces at the memory. “What’s worse is that the kid called for his dad. His dad.”

“Wait, tell me more,” Hood asks, sounding gleeful now, which weirds Joseph out a little. “Like was it super pathetic? Did he really just break his arm, nothing more?”

“No, nothin’ more, just the arm,” Joseph answers carefully. “And ya know how kids can get, it was piercin’ and whinin’. Why’d ya wanna know? Poor fella did nothin’ to ya. You’re to young for that.”

“Nah, I know that, just gonna bully the shit outta him when I see him,” Hood grins and now Joseph is fully confused, because from what he’s heard their first baby Robin is now Nightwing in Blüdhaven and they’re not planning to expand that way. However, before he can ask, Hood says: “Sorry, continue.”

“Well, uhm, Batman came immediately. It was carnage, like I said,” Joseph replied. “Jimmy became a vegetable for a year and a half. Bats usually tries to give us injuries that’ll only last a few weeks max, so we all knew we’d fucked up with that.”

Hood is quiet at that and Joseph explains: “Jimmy was the first and one of the worst, but all the goons tha’ ended up in the hospital for longer than three months hurt a Robin. I think the worst might be those tha’ helped, uhm, that villain kill the second Robin. His organization’s still recoverin’ from tha’ one. Think it’s the closest the Bat ever got to killin’ a man.”

Joseph knows that Hood has some deep seated grudge and hatred for Joker, despite taking his old moniker. So, he isn’t sure how well it will land.

He holds his breath as he watches how his boss will react, hoping he isn’t about to get a bullet in the leg. With Hood you’re less likely to get one in the head, but he’s absolutely not above taking out your femur or kneecap and that also sucks.

However, Hood surprises him. Joseph has always guessed that Hood is younger than he pretends to be, but he now sounds like a lost kid as he asks: “Really?”

“Yeah, boss, the Bat don’t play around when it comes to his Robin,” Joseph answers, suddenly feeling like he’s talking to his own son, instead of his crime lord boss. “New kid’s lucky. I mean, he made Batman nicer, god was he fucked when the second one died. But Stan over at Mr. Freeze’s operation cracked a few of his ribs by accident a coupla weeks after the Bat took ‘im in, I hear he still eatin’ out of a tube now. Bat’s gotten more vicious.”

Hood doesn’t say anything and to avoid feeling awkward Joseph just keeps talking: “Heard through the grapevine tha’ the kid got attacked pretty bad at that fancy Tower they’ve got out there, if the guy who did tha’s capable of thought, it’ll surprise me.”

At that Hood shifts slightly and Joseph is surprised to see a bit of guilt in his stance. It’s not something they see often from their boss. Like everything this smoke break, Joseph has no clue how to react to it.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to, because Hood speaks first. Softly he says: “Guess the kid’s lucky. Just hope the Bat’s nearby when he needs ‘im.”

“Yeah, suppose,” Joseph agrees. “Though he usually is. Never seem ‘im leave the kid alone, especially this one.”

“Good, I’d kill ‘im otherwise,” Hood grunts.

While it fits with Hood’s penchant for protecting kids, Joseph is still thrown off by it, since Hood was shooting at Robin earlier. So he gives him a look, before saying: “I mean, ‘s good tha’ he worries. Kid’s a sprout. Must be older than my boy with the way he talks, but by god is he skinny.” Joseph laughs. “It’s almost funny tha’ I worry for the kid.”

“Nah, worry’s good,” Hood surprisingly assures him. “Wouldn’t be the same if he weren’t jumpin’ ‘round, even if he’s a nuisance.”

“That why ya were shootin’ at ‘im?” Joseph can’t help but ask, even though he knows it’s stupid. It is just- he can’t help it. Not after this strange conversation.

“Kinda,” Hood shrugs. “Little shit needs to learn not to touch my shit. Fucker moved my furniture, I like where my furniture is.”

“He was in your home?” Joseph exclaims, because what the fuck? Why didn’t they hear about it. If the Bats are investigating them close enough to break into their boss’s home, they have a big problem. Very big.

“Yeah, fucked up my alarms too, even though he got a perfectly good key,” Hood mopes and Joseph’s brain screeches to a halt.

Almost as if he’s misheard he asks: “He got a key? Robin got a key? A key to your home?”

“Not voluntarily,” Hood sulks, seemingly not aware of how fucked up that is. “He’s a little stalker. Still. Stole it and copied it.”

“We need to change the locks,” Joseph says, getting up immediately to get going. “Who knows what they’re after. You- you need a protective detail. We need to up security.”

Next to him Hood startles, looking surprised. Then he laughs and waves him away: “Nah, nah, no worries, Joseph. No worries. The Bats ain’t after us.”

“They broke into your home,” Joseph feels the need to point out, because that’s a very important and very worrying detail.

“Just Robin. And just to move my shit and eat my leftovers, which is fuckin’ rude, he has his own chef at home, I have to cook all by myself and it isn’t like he chips in for the groceries,” Hood complains, while Joseph just stares at him, bug eyed.

After a beat, Joseph says: “Uhm, boss, I- uh, I hafta ask. How- how close are ya to the Bats, because that ain’t normal. No- uh no ‘fence.”

“Batman can go suck a dick and Robin needs to go back to school,” Hood scowls. “Kid shouldn’t be out here and I’m not talkin’ to the old man. But he’s a persistent little shit, I haven’t shaken him yet. Doesn’t look like I will.”

That answers absolutely nothing, but does tell Joseph that he doesn’t really want to know, because his brain is putting things together, but not things he wants to think about, because if he thinks about it, he might realize that his boss is a teen and he doesn’t think he can handle the mental weight of knowingly working for a teen.

So, Joseph follows another unspoken rule of the goon and henchpeople underworld and keeps his mouth shut when the boss is spewing nonsense.

He already has a kid to raise, he doesn’t want to think about raising his boss and by the sounds of it, the boss already got people looking after him. Even if they annoy him. Joseph is just going to be grateful about that and ignore the rest.

And pray each Sunday in the Church he doesn’t go to anymore that Hood is gonna keep missing the kid when he shoots. He hasn’t faced that sort of wrath from the Bat yet and he doesn’t plan on ever doing so.

Best to keep his head down and follow all the unspoken rules. Next time he’s smoking alone or with more people than just the boss. He has his blood pressure to think about.

#rr writing #dc #dc comics #detective comics #jason todd #tim drake #robin dc #robin #tim drake as robin #red hood #OCs #red hood goon #tw: violence #tw: gun use #batman #batfamily #batfam

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violent138 · 15 days

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While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

#I love the idea that so many things can kill you in Gotham that the Bats are one of the only things a humble goon can trust #only in gotham #batman #batfam #dc comics #damian wayne #nightwing #red hood #batfamily #robin #jason todd #dick grayson #gotham city

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bodyfrmabalcony · 10 months

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jason's autopsy scars cause some confusion at the red hood annual pool party

#jason todd #red hood #batman #dc fanart #batman fanart #goon (trans): i was cool w double incision for me but i dont even know the NAME of that surgery.....#goon (trans) when he finds out red hood was robin: whoa thats so cool that batman was so supportive of your transition so young #jason: ?????#art tag

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excalisi · 22 days

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it's a fun hc of mine that during dick's robin days, he went through the "omg i wish i had a cool secret language so i can have secret conversations with my friends" phase all kids go through. but one of his closest friends at the time also happened to be the batman, a guy with possibly the most bizarrely diverse arsenal of skills in the world. bruce sees the merit in the entire idea of a coded language to communicate rudimentary information when they can hear but not see each other. so why not make a code built on bird vocalizations? it's pretty much incomprehensible to anyone without a trained ear or comprehensive knowledge of birding and impossible to even passably mimic without proper training, so while the chances of interception are high, the chances of someone understanding it enough to interrupt during the middle of a bird-convo and feed false information are not.

it also, batman and robin come to realize, feed into the "holy fuck our vigilantes are cryptids" idea. bird sounds that come from seemingly no determinable location (ventriloquism) come to mean batman and robin are nearby. to the goons of gotham, bird song becomes inextricably connected to getting your ass kicked by the dynamic duo. the real reason why criminals don't operate during the day is because they get skittish and jumpy about if the sounds of birds chirping are real birds or some masked vigilantes lying in wait to rock your shit, and it's just easier to commit crimes during the night when all the birds are asleep so you know for sure.

ornithologists have boards on their bedrooms dedicated to the bird-bats of gotham. they've written dissertations.

the bird language becomes a bit of a batfamily bonding connection. teaching each other how to do different clicks and whistles, making up slang so bruce and barbara can't complain of clogging up comms with non-mission relevant talk, searching up birds to associate them with different people, psychologically terrorizing the criminal populace of gotham by chirping at them...

how the bird code works is that there's a bird assigned to each one of gotham's major heavy hitter criminals and vigilantes, and a few assigned to heroes out of the city (by which i mean the ones the bats associate with often enough to have a sign to address by). the only birds i've got so far are the robin (for robin. self-explanatory) and the glistening-green tanager (for the joker). i only have one for the joker bc i wanted to reference this hc in one of my fics and so searched up green birds to find the most eye-searingly annoying-to-look-at green bird i could find, and the glistening-green tanager was the closest one to fit the bill.

#dc #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #dc robin #robin #batfam #batfamily #you're a goon in gotham wondering in terror where the hell those menaces are so that their chirping echoes from everywhere at once #and red robin is just snidely insulting your haircut while red hood laughs at you

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dragonpyre · 4 months

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It's canon (to me) that Jason Todd has a baby face

Commission info ko-fi

#jason todd #fanart #fan art #red hood #batman #dc #dc comics #my art #comic #he can barely pass for 17 despite being 19 #no one will sell him cigarettes so he has to make his goons do it for him #no he's not happy about it #one of his goons almost called Batman on him cuz he was worried jason was in an unsafe home environment #and for those of you doubting #tom holland was 19 when they filmed Civil War

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batcavescolony · 7 months

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Tim: I love Christmas

Jason: did your parents celebrate with you or something?

Tim: no, but while at boarding school my roommate wanted to watch Home Alone and I just loved the idea.

Steph: oh this will be fun

Tim: so I forged my parents signature and signed myself out. Took a cab home and set trapps all throughout my house. Now that was fun but I wanted to whole experience so I hired two goons to break into my house.

Jason: what the fuck?

Tim: they didn't get permanently hurt, I wasn't cruel. I did give them payment and obviously I didn't want my parents knowing so I just let them go after. It's was fun

Steph: sounds like you.

Tim: hey, we should do that! We have better training and traps! It could be Family bonding!

Steph: YES!

Jason: ...that does sound fun. I'm game.

#comics #dc comics #robin #tim drake #batman #bruce wayne #red robin #jason todd #red hood #spoiler #stephanie brown #batfamily #batfam #home alone #then they build a safe house into a home alone style trap #the goons were fine they got money for the price of doing a giant excape room which isnt really ooc for gotham.

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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 8 months

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Red Hood and his adopted goons but 19-year-old Jason taking his goons to the doctor because health is important and none of them have gotten a tetanus shot in the last decade.

The pediatrician wondering how to explain to Red Hood that she sees kids, not forty-year-old henchmen.

At least three goons sitting in the waiting area while they wait for the others, comparing their bandaids to see who got the best one.

One goon gets a Batman bandaid and the next week the pediatric clinic receives a bulk order of custom Red Hood bandaids along with boxes of Wonder Woman and Green Lantern ones.

Half the goons haven’t been to a normal doctor since they were kids so the one time Red Hood takes them to someone other than a pediatrician they are greatly disappointed by the lack of suckers and cat stickers.

#red hood and his adopted goons #jason todd #red hood #best boss red hood #red hood dad mode

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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 1 year

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It started back when he was 16.

His parents found out about him and Vlad thanks to the fruitloop being an idiot and practically outing them both. Danny was so lucky that he had planned for a situation like this. He had go-bags ready with a few changes of clothes, a thermos, some weapons, a star projector, lots of money from Sam and enough medical supplies to make a hospital jealous.

It was a good thing too, after crippling the GIW and destroying all the gear they and the Fentons had they destroyed their research and everything ghost related. Vlad at this point was already dead so he wasn't much of a concern.

Dannys had landed in an alley in a new dimension, only problem now was the parting shot his mother gave him on his back. Due to the placement of it Danny couldn't reach to treat it properly and he didn't know anyone in this dimension who could help him.

Thats when his ghost sense went off. He groaned, hoping he wouldn't have to fight a new ghost in this state when a man in a red helmet (Mask?) walked up to him and motioned for peace.

"I'm not going to hurt you." The man said gently, "I just wanna look at that injury, maybe help."

Danny stared at him. He didn't feel anything off about the guy and Danny prided himself on being a good judge of character. "Okay." He scooted himself around so his back was exposed to the stranger.

"Wow, you're really not from around here." Danny stiffened, had he been tricked? The man made no moves to hurt him, just got to work tending to his wound. The man was swift, and aside from the slight sting of an ointment he didn't recognize there was no pain at all.

Once Danny was all patched up the guy made to leave, "Wait!" Danny called out and the man halted, "Who are you?" The man turned his head to look back at him, still facing away from him, "Red Hood."

As it turned out, Red Hood was the new up and coming crime lord who everyone was talking about. He came seemingly out of nowhere and was making a lot of waves in Gothams underbelly. Gotham...so this was Dannys new haunt.

Danny wanted to protect it but...he wanted to protect Red Hood even more. So when he heard about Red Hood forming a gang he made a decision. He gathered up materials to make his own supervillian outfit- basically an all black outfit with a long hooded coat and combat boots- and to add the finishing touch he put on a all white gas mask that he had made himself, complete with a voice modulator, night vision, heat vision, etc. If Hood ever wanted him to prove it was him he could make his mask glow using his ghost powers. Not that it was needed. Hood seemed to be able to sense him in a similar way that Danny could but in a much much smaller range.

With that being said, hoods men didn't trust him at first, which was fair considering he just started randomly appearing at their operations and helping them out...by force usually. They weren't sure what to make of him but Danny didn't want to go through the usual goon enlistment process as Hood would want to know his name and face and everything else and Phantom was...well a phantom.

Danny liked to hide, even in plain sight. He couldn't deny the little game of cat and mouse they had was fun. Hood would try to follow him home or track him or get him to take off the mask and Phantom would dodge his attempts every time.

It took a while, but Red Hood did eventually come to trust him, going so far as to make Danny his right hand man after 3 years of working together, though that may also be because he had rarely failed any of the tasks Hood had given him.

Maybe thats why he never told any of the bats about him. He had picked up that there was something between Hood and the bats but he never could figure out what it was without prying into his bosses personal life. Still, it was rather shocking when Red Hood showed up one day with a large red bat symbol splayed across his chest.

It also made him look at how freaking chiseled his boss was. He couldn't count how many times he had to drag his eyes away from his abs and chastise himself for thinking that way.

Danny was in love with a man whos face he would never see. But that was fine. He was happier standing by this man's side and yearning than he ever was back in Amity and it wasn't like Hood knew his face or name either.

-----------

He felt like a halfa though an incomplete one. He had a core but it felt hollow, like the soul was forcibly removed somehow and only emotions remained. Hood gained a bad reputation for flying into a monstrous rage but was always calm when Danny was near, a fact that even Red Hood himself seemed to pick up on.

Hood began to fall for his second in command pretty quickly, always trying to feed him and take care of him (as is his love language) while Danny was openly obsessed with assuring Hoods safety and well being even going so far as to use his powers (that no one knows about) to overshadow a computer and hack into the bats systems to make sure Hood was okay after a prolonged period of him being MIA.

The bats are freaked but Danny being Danny gets lucky and they always seem to miss his trail by a hair. Lucky ghost.

Things start going sideways when Fenton tech starts showing up in this new dimension only for Danny to find out his parents have remade the portal and are looking for him. The bats are being hunted by his parents and and the now rogue government agency the GIW. Danny tries to explain things to Hood without compromising his own secrets but once the newest Robin gets captured and Hood freaks Danny puts everything on the line to go rescue the stabby bird.

#dead on main #fanfiction prompts #prompts #dp x dc #batman #danny phantom #danny fenton #i just want danny in hoods gang so bad #the gang adores thier boss #robin #damian wayne #danny sends a goon to red robin to politely asked about red hood when he hadnt been seen in a while #rr is confused but confirms hood is fine but off with some other antiheros atm #the goon very politely thanks him and is off on his way #rr is just like: huh that happened #danny is very sneak: 100 in this #when dannys parents inter the scene they have a wanted poster of phantom that is just a stick figure drawing #in thier defence all the pics they had were destroyed in team phantoms purge #damian is very angry and embarrassed to have been captured by these loons #this idea fought me tooth and nail and i still hate how it came out

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nelkcats · 1 year

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Hood assistant

Contrary to popular belief, Red Hood wasn't actually a bad boss, Danny could attest to that. After all, thanks to a guy named Bill, he had gotten a job with the Crime Lord, and although he initially feared being assigned to kill or do "shady" activities, his boss actually reassigned him to his assistant.

So yes, Danny now worked directly under Hood's personal assistant, a very attractive man by the name of Jason, but the other goons warned him that it was very likely that he was dating Hood, with the amount of time they spent together so he didn't have to much hope with his crush.

In summary: Danny fell in love with Jason, but he thinks that Jason is dating Red Hood because of comments from the goons and he doesn't want to be "the third wheel" or for Jason to cheat on the crime lord with him, on the other hand Red Hood started flirting with him too and it's getting incredibly frustrating how unfaithful this couple is.

Meanwhile, Jason just wishes the guy would understand his signals, maybe the flowers aren't enough, he doesn't realize he's sending signals like Red Hood too.

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spacedace · 11 months

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Dp x dc idea:

Danny & Co joining the Justice League and everything...but it's that wonderful DC AU where Bruce died in Ethiopia instead of Jason and Tim decided to be Dad (TM) of Jason's Robin and runs around as kid Batman for awhile (eventually becoming full legit Batman).

Danny & Co joining up after all of that, they have only known Tim as Batman (and for fun let's make this Brian Dead where Danny & Tim are dating, or are dancing around each other, maybe Super Brain Dead because I love Kon being involved).

Anyway, Tim is Danny & the Pham's Batman...and then they ended up accidently in the normal DC universe and meet Bruce Wayne Batman and immediately are like "Press X For Doubt" about the whole thing

Danny, squinting suspiciously: who the fuck are you?

Bruce: I'm Batman

Danny: No the fuck you aren't

Elle: Yeah no way, I know Batman, Batman's a sleep deprived twink

Tim (as Red Robin) walks in

Danny: holy shit they fucking shrunk Red Robin

Tim: What??

Elle: Okay what the fuck, first Batman isn't a twink and now Red Robin is???

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #danny phantom #batman #danny fenton #tim drake #dani phantom #danielle phantom #bruce wayne #jason became red robin in the universe they came from #Danny: wait who's red hood?#eventually everyone takes their masks off to sort stuff out and it's just #Danny: Wait Matches Malone is Batman in this world???#Bruce: what #Danny: you're the guy that used to be a gotham goon right? in our world you found damian and brought him to us #Danny: and i guess everyone kinda just adopted you as their new uncle and you never left #bruce has to reboot over the fact that his AU self upon undying & being dunked in the lazerus pit #apparently decided tk hide his real identity like jason did but instead of a rampage he became the cool uncle #clark has to tackle him to keep him from trying to orchestrate something similar in their world

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oldmannapping · 7 months

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Directly riffing off this post, my brain wouldn’t stop. The idea of Jason furiously becoming a superstar HR manager for his goons gives me such pure joy.

The Adventures of Jason Todd And His Goons

Jason: “Shut the FUCK UP. What do you mean you’ve never had dental cover? This is fucking bullshit. Get me the paperwork right now, do I have to do everything my fucking self? God. You have three kids, right? Of course they’re going on your fucking plan, what do you think this is?”

Jason: “You guys want fucking CAKE on your birthdays? Are you shitting me right now? Are you fucking looking me in the eye and asking for cake on your birthday? You’re not fucking WORKING on your birthday, dumbshit, that’s a paid day off. Buy your own damn cake, eat it with your family, Jesus Christ.”

Jason: “Is that a dog? Did you bring a fucking dog in here? What the everloving pissfuck. Who decided to have a bring your pet to work day and not tell me so I could have treats ready for the very good boy, yes you are, you’re a very good boy. See now I feel like an asshole, I don’t have a treat for you, and you’re such a beautiful doggy yes you are, yes you are. I’m only gonna say this once: EVERY day is now bring your pet to work day. EVERY DAMN DAY.”

Jason: “Did someone set up a crib over there? Is that a crib in my warehouse next to the fridge where we keep our severed heads and leftover bean casseroles? Steve! STEVE! Show the new guy where the daycare room is. Jesus Christ. It’s like I didn’t spend four days last winter teaching you fucks about how to induct the new guys.”

Jason: “Someone signed us up to have a FLOAT IN THE PRIDE PARADE? I’ve been voted a fucking EMPLOYER OF CHOICE??? Fuck. The bar is so low, man. I just treat people with basic human fucking respect… Shouldn’t get a fucking award for that. And who the hell signed us up for this with only two weeks’ notice, how the fuck am I meant to make a custom rainbow helmet in two weeks? You think this shit’s gonna bedazzle itself? There better be a hot glue gun in my hand in the next three minutes or I swear to god I’m cancelling paintball this week.”

#jason todd #red hood #batfamily headcanons #red hood headcanon #Jason Todd is a good boss #red hood and his goons #red hood is an ally #Gotham pride parade

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shroudthecursedone · 2 months

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#thepandaredd #the panda redd #dcverse #dc comics #dc #dcau #damian wayne #goon mugger #on the corner of skid row and crime alley #outsiders are confused about gothamites #tim drake #red robin #no god complexes in the batcave #why does every house in gotham sould like your gonna get robbed outside of #jason todd #red hood #the common goons of gotham are stupid and superstitious #carrot knife

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webshood · 2 months

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The goons working under the red hood, notice that their boss and his right hand man, Blaze – the nice college student who stitches them back together when he's feeling generous –, have the same tuff of white hair, exact same place.

Instead of thinking that maybe Blaze is their boss under a disguise, they think it's some sort of "uniform", something the more low-key members of the gang use to show their allegiance to the Red Hood, without having to display bandanas, pins or tattoos, so they go unperceived on society.

That same night, with the help of bleacher and a bunch of purple shampoo, the goons group together on the hideout bathroom and dye a chunk of their hair white, some look more yellow, some gray, a bunch of them lilac. The goons who lack the hair for this effort, are very sad, but still help out their more fortunate coworkers.

Blaze's face during the morning roll call, seeing everyone with bleached streaks, is enough to make everything worth it

#jason todd #red hood #dc comics #red hood and his goons #jason is so done with them but also thinks it's fun to have everyone matching

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noneknxws · 11 months

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new onlyingotham idea just dropped in my head

#onlyingotham I’m a guy for Red Hood right? I’m sitting here in the building I’m supposed to be in for a meeting and The Signal walks in through the door. The door. They never go through the door.

And he waves at me and Red Hood and then sits in the corner of the room on his phone. I swear to god I could hear something about film production. He just sat there for the rest of the meeting. And then left. What the fuck

#only in gotham #onlyingotham #Duke Thomas #the signal #Jason Todd #red hood #rip Michael the red hood goon #Batfamily #batfam

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wellensittich01 · 8 months

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Dick Grayson is his universes Ryan Reynolds when it comes to making straight men question their sexuality.

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lambsouvlaki · 9 months

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The Crime Lord (AU)

Characters: Jason Todd x fem!oc

Rating and warnings: G, suggestive banter.

Word Count: 1,520

Summary: In an AU where Jason never stopped his crime lord ways, his partner is threatened and they have to decide if they're ready to take the next step.

Masterlist

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She looked carefully through her blinds. The man in the street was still there, hanging around the sealed up entrance of an old video rental store.

She noticed him about five minutes ago when doing a cursory check just before she started getting ready for bed. The gun in the pocket of his padded jacket was not well hidden, neither was the gang tattoo on his neck. She couldn’t make out the affiliation from this range. It could be nothing. There were a lot of nasty looking characters in Crime Alley.

He looked up at her window again.

Too big a risk.

She texted Jason. He replied immediately.

Muttering angrily she wrapped a coat over her pyjamas and shoved her boots onto her feet. She threw her laptop and a few vital personal effects into a bag. She switched the tv on, knowing the moving lights would shine on the thin curtains. Wait, her phone charger, needed that.

A heavy knock on the door rang out while she was still reaching down behind her bedside table.

She took a steadying breath, in and out. She peered through the spyhole. Two men in black armoured gear with no identifying symbols stood in the corridor. She didn’t recognise either of them. Jason’s message said to expect a Larry and a Gavin.

She opened the door.

“Ma’am,” the older of the two said, a heavyset man with a bald patch and black gloves. The other was a young and wiry sort with a patchy beard. Both looked like the sort of person who knew how to dispose of a body in five minutes or less. Neither really looked at her, which was promising.

“Do I know you?” she asked.

“Gavin and Larry, ma’am,” the same man said without any detectable expression. Those definitely weren’t their real names but it served its purpose. “Come with us, please.”

She nodded, slung her bag over her shoulder, and followed them out. She locked the door behind her.

The younger man held his hand out for the keys. Damnit, she’d liked this place.

“There’s a very nice lasagna in the fridge. If you’re going to empty out the place anyway.”

Gavin or possibly Larry’s lip quirked very briefly.

They led her out the back of the apartment building to the alley with its dumpsters and a bike missing both its wheels. The older guy walked in front of her and the other behind, all the way up to the tall chain link fence, which they helped her climb. A suitably forgettable old car waited for them on the other side.

She really really hoped these were Jason’s guys. She was 99% sure they were, but there was always a moment of doubt before getting into a strange car to go to who knew where. They hadn’t checked her bag or taken her phone off her, which Black Mask’s goons always started with, followed by a blow to the back of the head. They could be from Little Italy of course, Falcone’s guys still held to notions of respect, when it suited them. Or they were paid off by the Bats. Probably not though. She wasn’t a pro but this wasn’t her first rodeo.

They brought her to the docks, to one warehouse among hundreds.

It was seemingly empty, with only its security lights on. She couldn’t see anyone around. Her escort walked her up to an office space on the second floor, while the other disappeared with the car. They stopped at a room with an electronic lock. She entered her own code, and the little light blinked green.

Alone, she entered a plain white room with no windows and some basic furniture. She would bet her entire meagre lift savings that Larry and/or Gavin was standing guard outside.

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. This was how Jason showed his love, she knew that. All the things he couldn’t say were hidden in the effort he put into her safety.

Then she shook herself out of her grousing, got her laptop out and sat down at the desk. There was a cot in the corner but she wasn’t getting any sleep now.

Hours later, when her eyes were starting to sting and she was eyeing up the cot with more interest, the door beeped.

The Red Hood walked in.

She leaned back. He wore his helmet and his brown jacket hung open. There was a fine blood splatter over the plain grey armour beneath it, fresh enough to still be red.

He sat opposite her at the desk, and slouched back with a sigh. His head rolled back on his neck.

“How’s your night?” she asked.

He grunted.

“Hm,” she replied and typed another line of her email.

“I want you to move in with me,” he said, voice rumbling through the modulator. She stopped typing. She closed the laptop.

“Doesn’t that just make detection more dangerous? If they find me now it doesn’t compromise you.”

“It may as well,” he said, lifting his head to look at her. “I’m always going to come get you, and security is better at my place.”

She looked back at him thoughtfully. “We agreed it would cut into your work too much, and disrupt my life.”

“You know you have to move again either way. For the second time this year.” He sighed heavily. “I’m already disrupting your life.”

She didn’t like the defeated tone sneaking in through the modulation. She had gotten very good at detecting the nuances that snuck through the voice changer over the last year.

She got up and walked around the desk. She inclined her head in a way that asked if he had any injuries she needed to be aware of. He shook his head. She straddled his lap. His hands found her waist, snaking under her shirt and idly caressed the skin there. He didn’t even snort at the canary yellow pyjamas hiding under her coat, a sure sign he was worried.

“And the disruption it would mean to your life?” she asked.

“I can make it work. But you would have to be more careful. Much more careful.”

“Yes, I suppose I do.” She smiled sadly. “Even if I don’t move in, I can’t keep pretending I’m living a normal life anymore.

“Don’t ask me to keep endangering you. If not this then…”

“Take the helmet off.”

He lifted it off and the terror who commanded half of Gotham’s undercity and petrified the other half disappeared like smoke. Only the man she loved more than she could articulate remained. He wasn’t in a domino mask tonight, and stormy green eyes looked up at her beseechingly.

“This is the only way I can keep you safe while still being with you. Anything else is reckless.” He ducked his head. “Staying together is reckless enough already.”

She blinked through the hurt that lanced through her at that statement. He wasn’t even wrong, which made it worse. She knew they were playing with fire, and sooner or later someone would get burned. Today it wasn’t them. Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?

“I need an answer sweetheart.” He sounded preemptively heartbroken, but his face was hard. Braced for the final blow.

“Can you tell me… do you want me to move in with you purely for safety reasons?”

He cocked his head.

“If nobody was trying to kill us,” she said, halting. “If you weren’t the most wanted man in Gotham, and we had the luxury of doing what we wanted purely because we wanted to… would you still ask me to move in with you?”

He studied her for a long moment.

She swallowed and braced for the blow. She knew she wasn’t his first love. Gotham would forever have the larger claim on his heart. But she had to know if her claim on him was as serious as his claim on her.

“Yes. I would,” he said, his voice low and rough. “Don’t you know I love you?”

She made a soft noise in her throat. She cupped his jaw and pressed her lips to his. He titled his mouth against hers, drinking deeply of her.

Finally she pulled back to breathe, panting against his lips. He squeezed her thighs, bracketing his legs. His arousal pressed against her.

“Is that your final answer?” he asked in a husky drawl.

“Yeah.” She leaned her forehead against his. “I’ll move in with you. I’m in love with you, you know.”

He flashed an extremely self-satisfied grin.

“Sweetheart,” he drawled, rubbing his hands up and down her thighs. “If I didn’t have Black Mask’s man who tracked you down waiting for me in a pool of his own blood, I would bend you over this table right now to celebrate.”

She snorted. “Come home with all your limbs attached and your blood mostly still inside of you, and we can celebrate all day.”

He nipped her lips. “I’ll come get you when I’m done. Gonna take you home.”

She kissed him again.

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Next chapter >>

#AU where Red Hood never gave up his criminal empire #Bruce is sulking just off screen #jason todd #red hood #jason todd x oc #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x reader #red hood x oc #my fanfic #dc #Red Hood's goons #established relationship #angst with a happy ending

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