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#pasta life update
pastafossa · 2 months
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Right ok many things have happened in a short amount of time which is where I've been, and most of it is GOOD for once, which is wild when I'm still feeling out of it after being beaten by the Emotional Trauma bat for a few months and I think my body + brain has just kinda short-circuited.
I've been offered a booth spot for my wood carvings at a local witchy market event in April, and I've said yes! If this goes well, it will seriously help my bills and really start getting my name out beyond my normal sellers online. This is huge. I've never done an event before, and my anxiety's through the roof, but mom's agreed to help man the table so that makes me feel a bit better. This is an artsy city and there's tons of tourist traffic in Summer, so establishing myself to the point where I can get into their view would be amazing (tourism is where my teacher sells 75% of his carvings and makes a living).
Additionally, I am now in talks to do a brief, 10-20 minute class on wood this summer at another witchy event run by the same group. If there's enough interest, I might be able to run regular classes (which means more $ as a bonus). This has sort of always been one of my end goals with carving - it's a dying artform, and I LOVE teaching and showing people how easy it is to get into! This is also what my own carving teacher always told me he thought I'd wind up doing eventually: essentially taking his place and continuing to teach others like he taught me.
A couple folks in the community who are published have said they think if I wrote a guide on the various carving woods, their associations, and how to work with them, it would sell, and they're happy to help me. It wouldn't have to be long and it wouldn't be too hard, since most of it is stuff I already have written down for my own notes, but I'm also wondering if this isn't a good way to dip my toe into publishing and see how it goes, especially since I want to publish an AU of TRT one day when it's done. It's not the door into the publishing world I expected to open, but damned if I'm not inclined to take advantage.
I have no idea what to expect going forward. I'm still having some issues after what I went through, but damn, even I can feel this this is a potential path ahead that might do a lot for me.
Anyway, I've got some stuff I've started writing, the promised little one shots, that I'll do before slowly transitioning back into TRT. Ironically, I've used the time to go back over my outline and streamline a few arcs, and had some epiphanies that I think will improve the plot even further. So that was nice, and I think when TRT starts back up, you're going to love what's coming!
Lastly, to the person who dropped that cash into my ko-fi: thank you. You have no idea how much that's helped.
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maccas-strawbi-sundae · 5 months
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✨💗 Late November! 💗✨
Hey everyone! I hope that you all had a wonderful October especially to those who celebrate Halloween! Hopefully everyone's November has been good too. This post is massively scatterbrained as I have kept going in and out of this post in my drafts also, photos at the bottom of this post! :)
♥ I am in my food prep era! I've always struggled with eating the same foods (unless I really love them) multiple nights a week but, my partner and I are now committed to spending a day a week to cook up an assortment of meals to freeze so we can go from A to Z whenever we feel like eating something different which is a nice thought.
♥ Last month was difficult, my pop passed away and his funeral was the first I've ever attended, it was very difficult but beautiful and moving.
♥ Christmas is on the horizon and I have spent a wee bit of money trying to get to everyone presents wise! I've also committed myself to attending the family Christmas which I haven't done for a few years now.
♥ I went out for the first time since my stay in the APU and it was difficult. I froze up in public as the place was very crowded and my partner kind of had to pull me along. I was okay after a while but it felt like a panic attack was imminent.
♥ I have my last two tattoo appointments for the year coming up! More spots on my legs and above my knees on both thighs.
(My partner got COVID after a shift and I then got it from him so I unfortunately missed those two appointments but, they've been rescheduled for January!)
♥ My partner has suggested we do a membership with the local leisureplex as that way we can both use the gym and the pools. My partner really enjoys swimming and it's a good way to get some work done on our health.
♥ I have been practicing on false nails as I applied for two courses for study (nail tech and pathology) so I included those below! I would like to do nail tech as it can allow me to work from home as well and I like 'junk nails' (with all the charms) but I think I'd specialise in natural nails. I have been wanting to go back to work despite being burnt out so I have been trying to find jobs that are more one on one in environments that aren't as busy so if I finish the course I'll be in work before I get married in October. I hear back next week so I'll post an update on whether I've been accepted or not into my choice courses!!
♥ I have to now buy my wedding dress (bridal shopping on Monday) as my partners Oma has declined a little and is no longer able to do so. So, I've had to rearrange my budget but also I am also a bit worried over losing some weight and then needing to get it altered. Never the less, I called the bridal store to confirm everything and they got me to upload photos of what I was looking for so that they can narrow it down for the appointment. I am hoping it goes well!
♥ It is essentially summer in Australia now so, the days are hot and I am struggling to do a great deal honestly just to get motivated and get things done but I am trying! I have a doctors appointment to sort out trialing a new antidepressant and to get a blood test done. I have so much to sort out but the year is coming to a close so I am trying to wrap it all up neatly.
♥ An update photo! I look horrendous and I fried some of the lower half of my hair (hence the change in tone) as I wanted to go partially green so now I have to get it fixed up aha. Beyond that I have included some of my favourite products! Vetta is a brand of pasta that can be found at Woolworths (if you're in Australia) that do high fibre, high protein and also low-gi pasta! Muscle Nation is also an Australian supplement and gym wear brand (I already had their protein custard and some other products but, with the black Friday sales I have purchased some new products which I will review on here when they arrive!) that I quite like. I may like variation in food but I do tend to like the same flavours so for me the choc mint reminds me of the choc mint Sipahh straws from way back when. They offer a lot of flavours including banana which my partner loves (he said it tastes similar to banana Nesquik which was discontinued here years and years ago) so if you wanted to give them a look they offer a fair few things. Protein pancake mix, protein jelly sachets, protein waters, casein protein custards, protein powders, pre-workouts, daily greens, energy drinks, aminos and protein bars! They also offer vegan friendly plant protein and they even have recipes online (mostly for their casein protein custard).
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newtness532 · 5 months
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what does a six year old even eat? the only child around that age i can think of is my brother and he is just as bad with food as i am
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priscilla9993 · 3 months
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Work has been stressful with the understaffing, multiple tasks piled onto daily ones, and questionable new upper management. I’m glad to have a week left before I start a new one that hopefully will get back to me soon on location and time.
Went grocery shopping and ended up crying in my car in a good way afterwards. In short recap, I still had my work uniform on and I told the cashier my one sentence plight of solo shifts, multiple days, and finally having a day off. She said she was proud of me and that she hopes I enjoy the day off. Her eyes and smile were so genuine and bright that I’m touched. Honestly needed some good human interaction because customers at my place aren’t it minus a few.
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ghosttoasties · 1 year
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potholes are so bad here and i'm convinced even if i move again things won't improve because the state loves cops too much this is the third accident we've been in the last couple months where we've got somewhere to be and then we can't because the car has to get fixed 😭 i wish public transit was better and didn't take a literal half day just to get anywhere out of county.
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henryzin · 1 year
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My school always send us the menu for the week on which foods were having, since what were getting for breakfast until our afternoon snack.
And it makes me very happy! Because as someone who is very picky eater to the level where I won't be able to eat the foods I don't like, I can prepare myself, I know which days it will be safe to eat at school and which days need to bring a emergency food.
And sometimes they're cooking some of my safe foods, so I will be at the lunch line yelling at everyone "IT'S NUGGETS TODAY!!!!"
Anyway, today we're having sausage and also potatoes :)
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lets-zofifi-stuff · 3 months
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I eat salad today. It was really great salad. Saved my life honestly.
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love-belle · 3 months
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well, i'm still in love with you !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them soft launching each other while driving their friends wild.
or
for when you're still in love with them and will be for forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
prequel - saw ur mom at the grocery store ·˚ ༘
warnings - language. suggestive jokes (???)
author's note - im so SORRY for not updating life is CRAZY rn like ???? so much has happened like im in LOVE im DONE with SCHOOL i have EXAMS SJSHSJSJKSKS im so sorry i hope u like this i love u all <3
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 1,725,819 others
yourusername he's in my head so much i might as well just give him some
11,628 comments
username HOLD UP
username im shaking in my big girl boots rn what the Fuck
username y/n ?????
username SCREECHING
username roman empire or roman empire
username IM DYING OH MY GOD
landonorris just because you can type something doesn't mean you SHOULD
-> yourusername shut up u literally sprouted like an unwanted weed and not even the good kind
-> yourusername i am sorry that was mean
-> landonorris 😕
-> username someone keep these two away from each other before y/n makes lando cry 😭
username live love laugh y/n y/l/n
username i need cameras recording their whole vacation !!!!!!!!!
username this whole holiday will be so much more entertaining than 90% of all the tv shows out there 😭😭
username lord i pray that this is about charles
maxverstappen1 you didn't hear it from me but he's giggling
-> yourusername tell him to stop giggling and help me chase those seagulls away
-> landonorris LEAVE MY SEAGULLS ALONE
-> yourusername THEY ATE MY SANDWICH
username rip y/n's hater girl era u will be missed 😞☝️
username i know charles is thoroughly enjoying this like
username i will get over a lot of things in life but i will never get over lando and max joining the y/l/n-leclerc vacation simply because they do not trust charles to do the sensible thing
-> yourusername actually they're all dumb
-> maxverstappen1 excuse you
-> yourusername u called grey "dark white"
-> maxverstappen1 I PAID TO KEEP QUIET
-> yourusername blocking out the haters 🫸🙄🫷
username forever entertained by this group they never disappoint
username need me a max and lando to get me a bf or whatever 🙄🙄🙄
username waiting for charles to come here and say some stupid shit before going on with my day !!!!
charles_leclerc i bet u think about me
-> yourusername nah bc no way ferrari can make u THIS delusional what's the cause
-> yourusername i am sorry i was told that i cannot say shit about ferrari clown private limited whatever corporation
-> username please never change
charles_leclerc i will make u pasta !!!!!!!!
-> yourusername no thank u i saw what happened to arthur
-> charles_leclerc THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT THE PASTA WAS NOT GOOD
-> yourusername skill issue
charles_leclerc where r u
-> yourusername why r u typing like that
-> charles_leclerc lando said it's cool
-> yourusername lando thinks birds don't have feet don't believe him
-> landonorris why am i catching strays
username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT CHARLES LIED TO GET MAX AND LANDO ON VACATION 😭😭
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, landonorris and 2,167,926 others
charles_leclerc we'd still worship this love
12,628 comments
username NAH WHO IS THIS MAN
username OH ??????
username false god lyrics imma die 🤣🤣🤣
username y/n effect is so real
username PLEASE NOT CHARLES SOFT LAUNCHING HIS EX 😭😭😭
-> username y'all put some respect on my girl's name 😭
-> yourusername i am no one's ex i will sue u for defamation
-> charles_leclerc for legal reasons she's JOKING
-> yourusername how do U know that tf
-> username i missed this
username hshshdjssjdjsjjsajjn;;;;;;;;bwywuuaj;...
username crying this is everything i've prayed for
username no one's mentioning the fact that charles wasn't even supposed to go on the vacation 😭😭😭
-> landonorris he booked his tickets and acted like it was a mistake
-> charles_leclerc you're a mistake
-> username and THAT'S how i know y/n and charles are back together 🤞🤞🤞
username i need a documentary on this vacation u don't GET it
username max and lando we trust u
maxverstappen1 you just pushed your love in water
-> charles_leclerc she told me i looked like tweety from looney toons
-> maxverstappen1 well
username crying i love every second of this
username i need to study this man's brain under a microscope like
-> username his thought process is just so UNIQUE
username i need them to confirm their relationship so i can breathe a sigh of relief thank u
username need me a man who posts like this
yourusername told u taylor swift songs slap
-> charles_leclerc highkey
yourusername i'm the most hilarious person ever idk why ur mad
-> charles_leclerc you called me tweety
-> yourusername hilarious
-> charles_leclerc my lover's got humour
-> yourusername OMGGGGG
yourusername we might just get away with this
-> charles_leclerc i told you, if you commit murder i will NOT be an accomplice
-> yourusername those are lyrics but fuck u too i guess
username i prayed for times like this 🤞🤞
≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱
charles_leclerc added to their instagram stories
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≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, carmenmmundt and 1,972,628 others
yourusername well i'm still in love with u 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 (❤️)
tagged charles_leclerc
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 2,126,891 others
charles_leclerc 2 out of 262819 photos where she stole my phone and the one (1) photo with me in it like okaaaaaaaaaay (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️)
tagged yourusername
12,728 comments
username NAHHH WHO TAUGHT HIM HOW TO TYPE LIKE THAT
username PLEASE OMG
username andddddddd we're 🔙 to having charles have a breakdown every single time y/n (HIS GIRLFRIEND) interacts with him
username god heard my prayers
username why do i have a feeling lando and max went EXTREME
-> yourusername if u call pushing us both off the yacht and not letting us back on until we said "hiiiiii" civilly to each other extreme, then yes. they were EXTREME.
-> charles_leclerc still mad about it. i said "hiiiii 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘" and you said "hi 😐😐😐😐."
-> yourusername sorry i was too busy finding ways to poison u then ❤️❤️❤️ im good and better now ❤️❤️❤️ (police and officials LOOK AWAY)
-> username netflix needs to leave dts and document THIS
username someone should write a book on this vacation and it should be max ☝️☝️☝️
username WAR IS OVERRRRR
username they're BACK god bless
username the way i KNOW charles is thanking max and lando on his knees like homeboy would be stuck without them fr
-> danielricciardo excuse you i was the mastermind
-> landonorris you literally did nothing except sit on ft for hours and yell at us.
-> danielricciardo tell that to all those thank you texts (money) charles sent me
-> landonorris YOU TOLD ME NO ONE WILL BE GETTING PAID charles_leclerc
-> charles_leclerc i sent him $1 because heidi asked me to
-> heidiberger_ he threatened to fly out to italy i did everyone a favour
username the y/n effect is coming back with full throttle like yeaaaaaaaaah
username i need a trilogy on this vacation like i need EVERYTHING
username the way i KNOW both of their families just rejoiced like they were going through it 😭😭😭
username everyday i wake up and thank the lord and heavens for daniel ricciardo, max verstappen and lando norris
yourusername i look so good wtfff
-> charles_leclerc yes you do 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
yourusername bébé ( baby )
-> charles_leclerc mon ange ( my angel )
yourusername soulmates 4 sure
-> charles_leclerc 👍
-> username lord i am not your strongest soldier
-> username why is he like this 😭😭😭
yourusername lowk missed taking 26271727 selfies on ur phone
-> charles_leclerc missed seeing your pretty face every time i opened my gallery 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
-> username y/n never leave him again please
-> username my man's TRAUMATISED
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goldenempyrean · 2 months
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"Is it getting colder in here, or is it just me?" and “Thats it. You're going to bed.” with female sick reader and caretaker Natasha?
A Domestic Life
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〚 Notes - I'm gonna try super hard to get through a load of my older requests, if you've sent one AGES ago (we're talking over months ago), it might be done soon :D ALSO! I updated my taglist so hopefully everyone who wanted to be is now on! 〛
〚 Pairing - Natasha Romanoff x Reader 〛
〚 Summary - Nat notices how run-down you are and takes care of you. 〛
〚 Wordcount - 720 〛
〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙
╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝
“Is it getting colder in here, is it just me?” You mumbled quietly, fighting back a shiver as you pulled your sweater tighter round yourself in an effort to warm yourself back up. You’d been like this all day, going through stages of being freezing cold then boiling hot. 
Natasha hummed lightly as she stirred a pot of simmering pasta, “It’s quite warm in here darling.” She carefully lowered the temperature of the stove before turning around. She raised an eyebrow, her keen eyes studying you closely. She noticed the subtle flush settled on your cheeks and the way you seemed to huddle into yourself, despite the relative warmth of the room. 
You watched as Nat set down the wooden spoon that she'd been using letting it sit at the edge of the pot before turning back to you, concern etched into her soft features. "You don't look so good," She remarked after a moment, her voice gentle yet firm. You nodded, sniffling quietly as you stood up from the stool you’d been perched on and made your way over towards her, wrapping your arms around her slim waist and letting your head rest against the back of her neck – she was so warm, you just wanted to soak it all up. 
You tried to offer a reassuring smile, but it faltered as another wave of chills swept through you, making you cling to her tighter, craving her warmth. "I'm okay, just feeling a little off maybe." You replied, though your voice lacked conviction, “I’ve been like this all day.” You grumbled, not holding back the trace of annoyance hiding in your voice. 
Nat couldn’t say she was surprised. You’d both been so swept of your feet lately, mission after mission with almost no breaks. Hell, the closest the pair of you had come to resting lately was the night the two of you had been sent to take over a stakeout a few days ago. It was only going to be a matter of time before exhaustion caught up with one of you. 
Natasha sighed, her worry deepening as she reached out to gently cup your face. "You're burning up darling," she stated, her thumb brushing against your cheek. "When was the last time you had a break or a good night's sleep? Be honest with me.” 
You hesitated, realising that you couldn't even remember the last time you had taken an actual moment to rest. The constant adrenaline from the rush of missions had kept you going, but now your body was paying the price. "I... I can't remember," You admitted quietly, feeling a bit defeated and silly now that you’d realised actually how much you’d run yourself down.  
Natasha's expression softened, her concern turning into a determined resolve. "Well, that settles it. You need to rest. No arguments," she declared, her voice leaving no room for negotiation. 
You opened your mouth to protest, but she quickly placed a finger against your lips, silencing you. "No 'buts'," she said, giving you a stern look. "You can't take care of anyone if you're running on empty. And right now, you're beyond running on fumes sweetheart." 
You sniffled softly, crossing your arms with a small, defeated pout, “What about helping with dinner though?”  
Your girlfriend chuckled softly, her fingers gently brushing a strand of hair away from your forehead. "Dinner can wait. Right now, the only thing you need to focus on is getting better. Plus, it’d be a bad idea to have you help with dinner anyway, we don’t need you passing out and falling in the pan, do we?" She smiled as you gave a small giggle, but Nat could still feel the warmth radiating from you, "Come on, that’s it, you’re going to bed." 
You reached out, intertwining your fingers with hers, and pulled her closer. Looking up into her eyes, filled with worry and love, you felt a surge of affection wash over you. Leaning in, you pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, conveying your gratitude in the soft touch. 
"Thank you love," You whispered, your small voice came from beside her. "For taking care of me.” 
Natasha's lips curved into a tender smile as she returned the kiss, her warm touch was comforting against your skin, "Always," she murmured against your lips, "Now let’s get you into bed.” 
〖 Join My Taglist! 〗@sayah13@mahalkitanova@romanoffskisser @scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @bloomingflowersthings @kathleenmikaelson @shamelessbearunknown @inluvwithfictionalwomen @citrussnz @fluffyblanketgecko @kljhsong @santana1437 @blackwidow-barnes @asiangmrchk13 @lovelyy-moonlight @juiles @lots-of-pockets @sashawalker2 @natashamaximoff69 @observeowl @beholdagaywriter @widows201 @llovergirleraa @danveration @idkeithershawty @rainedontknow @poison-blackheart @loveshineslikethesky @somber-sapphic @lexasaurs634 @ahintofchaos @scarlettssub @paisley-yy @wandanats-goodgirl @nuianced-tck-enby @maomaoincomming @anne-lister @rianlovelygirl @taliiiaasteria @swaqcenix @inluvwithfandom 
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bellaxgiornata · 4 months
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Seeking Forgiveness [Part Seven]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.6k
[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]
Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader
a/n: I have finally gotten this update up for y'all! It's been written and sitting waiting for over a month, but now that I'm not trying to write holiday fics (though I might still write that Owen Sleater one), it's back to business as usual! Feedback is always appreciated!
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Fidgeting with the beer bottle between his fingers, Matt wasn't paying much attention to the room around him. Which said a lot about his current focus considering how loud Josie’s bar was this evening with the crowd that had filled the space tonight. He also wasn't paying any attention to the conversation Foggy and Karen had struck up a while ago at their table about a client they'd met with earlier today. Because despite the fact that Matt was currently sitting with the pair of them drinking back his beer, his attention was entirely elsewhere this evening. On you a couple of blocks away in your apartment.
Admittedly there wasn’t very much that he could pick up on at this distance where he sat at Josie’s, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from trying to hear what he could–even if he knew he shouldn't be invading your privacy like this. It was already bad enough he always stopped by at the beginning and end of his patrols, always wanting to make sure things were alright. Though deep down he knew he kept doing it because he was desperate to feel connected to the pair of you somehow. He just couldn't seem to stay away despite that being what you seemed to want him to do. 
His eyes narrowed in concentration behind the lenses of his glasses. It sounded like you were cleaning up whatever dinner you'd made in your kitchen, which made sense considering the hour. You usually ate around this time after work. As he listened to the faint sounds of dishes clinking together, he wondered what you’d made to eat tonight. You'd been craving pesto pasta like crazy but constantly kept forgetting to add the items to your grocery list. Something Matt only knew because of his new habit of lingering on your rooftop as Daredevil, not because you'd actually spoken to him recently and told him yourself. For which he kept chastising himself about doing, except he couldn't seem to stop eavesdropping. 
Like right now.
Despite you making it clear you wanted nothing to do with him for the time being, he had tried calling you repeatedly in the hopes of finding a vastly healthier and less invasive way to stay connected with you, but you'd only answered once and it was to ask him to stop calling. You told him when you were ready to talk that you'd reach out to him. Which meant he hadn't tried to show up at your apartment as Matt Murdock, trying to respect your wishes. But that ultimately put him in a difficult position, because not communicating with you meant he couldn't prove himself to you–couldn’t prove how sorry he was for what he’d done. He'd been back and forth on that for the past two days, constantly feeling like the clock was ticking on him finding some way back into your life to show you that you and that baby were what he wanted.
An abrupt, loud snapping noise sounded directly in front of Matt’s face and he jumped in his chair, blinking rapidly a few times behind his glasses. The noise instantly had broken his concentration from his thoughts and your apartment, something that had taken him quite a few minutes to lock in on in the first place considering the distance.
“Matt, buddy, you in there?” Foggy asked.
Matt cleared his throat, forcing a smile onto his face at the sound of his friend's voice. Gradually and begrudgingly his attention and senses returned to the bar around himself.
“Yeah, sorry,” he replied. “Was just zoning out, I guess.”
“Thinking about her again, aren’t you?” Foggy solemnly asked.
“Kind of hard not to,” he muttered.
He felt Karen’s hand land gently on his shoulder before giving it a comforting squeeze. He glanced in her direction, sending the tense smile her way. Despite how much he'd screwed things up with you, and how much Foggy and Karen cared about you, they'd still been incredibly supportive of him. They'd even been understanding of his initial angry outburst at the office for which Matt had guiltily apologized for numerous times by now.
"She's doing alright," Karen assured him. "Though I'm guessing you already know that."
Matt ducked his head, awkwardly running a hand across his mouth as he felt the guilt burn within him. There was no point in denying it. You had to have already figured it out yourself when he'd left that stuffed narwhal at your apartment after you'd gone back to sleep the other night. It wasn't as if he'd expected that to make you feel any differently about him, but he hoped you knew that he was still here. Still around. Still thinking about the both of you. Still wanting the both of you. 
"Yeah, I stop there at night," Matt admitted awkwardly. "Not for long," he lied, "just enough to know things are alright. That she doesn't need anything. And to uh…hear the heartbeat."
Truthfully it had become his new favorite sound, even more than the beat of your own familiar heart. It was muffled but strong, faster than the usual heartbeats he heard all day long. 
"Have you tried just showing up?" Foggy asked curiously. "You know, the way people usually do, not the way you usually do? Just to see what would happen?"
Matt shrugged, shifting in his chair. "I've thought about it," he answered. "I'm just always torn between respecting her boundaries and wanting to show her that I'm still here for her. That I want to be. But I'm always afraid if–” he paused, wincing as the thought crossed his mind. “I'm afraid if I do, it'll only upset her more. Push her away from me even further.”
Karen hummed in thought beside Matt. The sound caught his attention, his head tilting a bit to the side towards her. The noise almost sounded like one of disagreement. 
“What?” Matt asked. 
“I think,” Karen began carefully, “that she's actually a bit conflicted.”
Matt's attention focused entirely on Karen now as he straightened in his chair. His brows rose up curiously onto his forehead, eager for her to elaborate. 
“Conflicted?” he asked curiously. “Conflicted how? About what? Me?”
“Yes,” Karen answered with a faint nod. “I mean she obviously still loves you, Matt. That doesn't just disappear overnight. Ideally I think she'd want you to be raising the baby with her from the way she talks. Going through all of this with her. But she's still hurt. And she's scared. And she, well, obviously still doesn't believe her and the baby would be a priority to you.”
Matt twisted in his seat, fully facing Karen. “So what're you saying?” he pressed.
He heard the way the air shifted as Karen shrugged beside him. Her lip suddenly caught between her teeth where she lightly chewed it for a moment. The pause was killing Matt, his hand tightening around the neck of his beer bottle. 
“I'm saying I think you should find an excuse and show up at her place,” Karen eventually replied. She held up a finger as she quickly amended, “As Matt, not you-know-who. Don't push her boundaries, just show up long enough to show her you're still here, like you’ve been wanting to do. That you're not giving up. I think she needs that more than she's letting on to you. Maybe…find some sort of way to show her you're trying to be a supportive future father and partner.”
“Okay,” Matt mused, running a frustrated hand through his hair and mussing it as his thoughts began to race. “Okay,” he repeated. “So don't show up with apology flowers. Noted.”
“No, but maybe bring her something else that might help her,” Karen suggested lightly. “Something that might be useful during her pregnancy. To show her you're serious about things with her and the baby.”
“Oh!” Foggy exclaimed, excitedly slapping a hand to the table. “Like an excuse to just show up and see her because you're dropping something off!”
Matt sighed deeply, swiveling back around in his seat. He leant his elbows onto the uneven wooden table as he began to rub his palms together in thought. What could he possibly bring you that might be useful for your pregnancy? Something you might actually be grateful for and need? That wouldn't make you curse him from daring to darken your apartment door?
This was something he'd have to give some thought to tonight. 
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Willing your mind to quiet, you lay on your side beneath the sheets of your bed which you'd tugged up to your chin. It was a little after one in the afternoon and you'd been hoping to take a brief nap after lunch, something you couldn't do during the weekdays because of work. Your body usually wanted to give up once this time of day hit, probably partly because of pregnancy fatigue but also because you hadn't been sleeping well lately. 
It was damn near impossible to get comfortable when you laid down even though your stomach wasn't quite that large yet. But the hormones in your body responsible for relaxing your muscles and ligaments during pregnancy were also responsible for the fact that sleeping on your side killed your hips and knees far more than side sleeping ever had in the past. You didn't just wake up to pee or possibly vomit now, sometimes you just ached horribly and couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in. Which often led to your mind racing and keeping you awake for part of the night. 
Truth be told though, everything on your body hurt lately. You often had headaches–another perk of early pregnancy–along with constant back and hip pain. Your breasts were still quite sensitive and tender, too. The one bright spot through it all this week had been an appointment you had coming up with your obstetrician. The one where you could get your blood drawn and in another week or so, you'd know whether your little devil would be a boy or a girl. It had been on your mind all week, your excitement barely contained and adding to your inability to sleep. 
Trying to push the thought of the baby's sex from your mind, you squeezed your eyes a bit tighter shut. The light from the sunny afternoon was still slipping in past your blinds, making your room almost too bright. The sounds of the city traffic bustling below your apartment weren't helping right now, either. 
But it was an unexpected knock at your apartment door that had your eyes inevitably flying back open. 
Raising your head from the pillow hesitantly, you blinked hard a few times. You hadn't been expecting anyone to stop by today. Brows knitted together, you pushed the sheets off of yourself and ran a hand over your eyes. Moving slowly along the bed, you gradually pushed yourself upright and set your feet on the floor, noticeably moving slower than if you hadn't been almost eleven weeks pregnant. 
Rising to your feet, you sluggishly made your way out of your bedroom and down the hall. Stopping in front of your door, you undid the locks before turning the handle and pulling it open. The sight of Matt standing before you in one of his fitted tee-shirts with an awkward smile on his face took you by surprise. Your eyes widened as you felt your own pulse increase at the unexpected appearance of him. Gaze dropping down, you saw he was carrying an almost comically large shopping bag in his left hand.
“Matt, what are you doing here?” you asked, one hand gripping the door tighter. “I thought I–I asked you to give me space for now?”
“Yes, you did,” he replied awkwardly, that smile on his face growing more nervous. “But I…I really don't want to stay away because I was still hoping you could give me a chance. To prove how sorry I am.”
Shoulders dropping at his words, you lightly blew out a breath. “Matt–”
“Hear me out, please,” he begged, cutting you off.
An earnest look crossed his face as his dark brows drew together above his glasses. Lips pressing together, you released the door from your grip and crossed your arms over your chest. 
“Fine, talk,” you demanded.
“Look, I–I know you want me to stay away,” he began in a rush, as if he was afraid that you wouldn't give him enough time to explain himself before you slammed the door in his face. “And I want to respect that, I do. But I can't walk away from the both of you. I can't . I won't abandon my child and I won't abandon you. I want to prove how sorry I am to you, sweetheart. I want to prove that you can depend on me, that I want this. Because I do.”
“Matt, I already told you that I'd let you have a relationship with your child,” you reminded him. “I'm not telling you to abandon them.”
He shook his head quickly, his hand readjusting on the plastic bag he was holding. It crinkled loudly in his grip and briefly caught your eye again, making you wonder what the hell was in the bag. But when he spoke again, your attention returned to his face.
“You might not see it that way,” Matt countered, still shaking his head, “but to me it's no different. And I won't walk away from you or my own child.” His face grew more solemn as he added softly, “You know me, sweetheart. You know how I grew up, how it affected me. All I'm asking is that you just…just give me a chance to make amends. I made a massive mistake and I hurt you. I was an asshole and I want to fix things. So just…can you at least consider giving me that chance? Please?”
Inhaling a deep breath, your eyes scanned over his anxious, pleading face. Your heart had dropped in your chest the second he'd mentioned his past. Because of course you knew how Matt had felt abandoned by what his father had done, willingly going and getting himself killed when he won that fight instead of losing it which ultimately left Matt alone in the world. You also knew how he'd formed a bond with Stick, his mentor who'd abandoned him the moment Matt displayed his care for the man. You also knew about his toxic relationship–the only other he'd ever had–where his ex had abandoned him because he wouldn't kill his father's murderer. And then of course, you knew how much pain he'd felt when he learned that his mother had been a nun at the orphanage he grew up in, making him feel unwanted because he'd only accidentally overheard the truth as a grown man years later.
Matt Murdock struggled with feeling unloved and unwanted because of his abandonment issues from almost every important figure in his life. And now he was afraid he'd be condemning this child to a similar trauma. The thought of that caused your heart to twist tight in your chest. 
“I'll think about it,” you answered quietly. 
“Thank you,” Matt replied in relief, his expression visibly relaxing.
Your eyes dropped back down to the large bag in his hand, your head tilting to the side as you curiously studied it. Matt let out a nervous huff of a laugh as he shifted on his feet. He extended the bag out towards you and your brows jumped up onto your forehead. 
“I uh, I brought you something,” Matt said, his tone returning awkward. 
For a moment you just stared at the bag in his outstretched hand, unsure what to make of him bringing you anything right now. Slowly and hesitantly you reached out, grasping onto the handles of the bag. Though you let out a surprised gasp when Matt let go and the weight of its contents startled you, almost causing you to drop it entirely. Your other hand darted out, grabbing onto the bag and catching it before it could slip from your grasp. Drawing it towards yourself, you peered inside. 
“It's a pregnancy pillow and a weighted blanket,” Matt explained, running his now free hand across the back of his neck. “I know you have had trouble sleeping lately and I thought they'd help. The weighted blanket should help relax you and the–the pregnancy pillow should help with body pain and the weight of your belly when you're farther along. I actually spent a while researching them. Who knew there were so many shapes?” He chuckled nervously, his hand still rubbing the back of his neck. “Figured this one would work the best for how you sleep–or, how I remember you always sleeping, at least.”
Your jaw dropped as you stared back at Matt, the heavy bag still held in your hands. While the gift was thoughtful and sweet, there was only one explanation as to why he'd brought these particular items which were meant to help you sleep, especially when you'd had a hard time doing exactly that lately.
“Have you been spying on me again, Matt?” you questioned in disbelief.
He hung his head immediately, his shoulders dropping at the accusation. You already knew the answer before he even said a word and your mouth fell open wider.
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't,” he apologized shamefully. “I know I shouldn't. But I mainly just check in first thing when I go out at night and–and then once more before I go home. To make sure you're safe and alright because I worry. And I–” he broke off, nervously chewing his bottom lip. “I like to listen to the baby's heartbeat,” he confessed quietly.
Something about the way he'd admitted that last bit had disarmed you. That wasn't what you expected him to say and you momentarily felt your heart soften to him. But your upset about him eavesdropping on you soon washed back over you again, your hands curling tight around the bag.
“I don't like that, Matt,” you warned him. “That makes me uncomfortable knowing my ex is listening in to whatever I'm doing in here and I don't know about it.”
Matt nodded solemnly in response. “I understand, I do. I'll try my best to refrain, but if something brings me nearby at night I…admittedly have a hard time not picking up on things.” He shrugged faintly, his covered gaze still downcast. “I'm just tuned into you and it's sort of a habit by now after how much time we've spent together.”
An awkward silence settled over the both of you at his explanation, the pair of you standing there wordlessly. You weren't about to invite Matt inside–especially not after just learning that –but you could also tell he clearly didn't want to go, either. Though after a moment he shifted his weight between his feet before he glanced up in your direction once again. His lips were twisted downwards at the corners, guilt and sadness barely hidden on his face. You fought to ignore the urge to draw him into a hug at the sight.
“I'll let you go, I can tell my visit isn't exactly what you want, but can you think about what I asked?” he questioned. “About giving me a chance to prove myself?”
Blowing out a breath, you slowly nodded. “I'll think about it,” you told him softly, “but I'm not making any promises, Matt.”
He shot you a tense smile, nodding his head once as he took a step back into the apartment building hallway. Something tugged at your heart knowing he was leaving, but you quickly tried to ignore that feeling, too.
“Hope those help,” he murmured, briefly gesturing to the bag.
Without another word, Matt turned and made his way down the hallway and back towards the elevator at the far end, his cane tapping lightly along the floor. You watched his retreating form for a moment before you forced your eyes away. You didn't know quite what to make of his surprise visit. 
Closing the door of your apartment, you locked it again before dragging the heavy bag back to your bedroom. You were still tired and had every intention of attempting that nap despite the unexpected interruption, and admittedly you were curious about the items Matt had brought you. Would they actually help you fall asleep?
It was a few minutes before you'd managed to unpackage the incredibly soft, gray weighted blanket and spread it over your bed. You'd put the pregnancy pillow up on the bed underneath the blanket afterwards before you'd climbed up onto the mattress and slipped beneath the blanket. Immediately you wrapped your legs around the pillow and snuggled up to it, feeling the pain in your hips instantly lessen in this position. You sighed in relief, letting your eyelids gently drop as you felt the weight of the blanket relaxing you, just as Matt had claimed it would. 
With a soft, contented hum, you nuzzled into your pillow and felt that wave of exhaustion begin to overtake you. But as you lay there waiting for sleep, you couldn't help but imagine it was the weight of Matt's arms wrapped around you, comfortably sinking you further into the mattress. And if you kept your eyes closed and tried hard enough, you could imagine it was Matt's thick thigh that your legs were wrapped around, wedged between yours just like you'd slept many nights in the past with him. 
Which was how you finally found yourself drifting comfortably to sleep–imagining you were safe in Matt’s arms, the place you so desperately missed being. 
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Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably @two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @thychuvaluswife @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this-is-music @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @swissy23 @babygorewhore @that-girl-named-alex @warsaur @lareinaisabelle @pazii @senjoritanana @mischiefmanaged71 @xxdrixx @jess-rye @hannahbohen @theclassicvinyldragon @karolamurdock @theoraekenslover @mr-underhills-things
[Some tags aren't working, I never fully know why. If I've misspelled yours, please feel free to let me know! Otherwise it's just tumblr being a pain and not tagging for unknown reasons because this always happens. I'm sorry!]
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jabathegut · 13 days
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How's gaining going?
I know people only care if Im gaining buh here is an update.
My AC1 (blood sugar stuff) aka diabetes shit was dangerously high at 6.0. So unfortunately gaining is over completely until further notice! It’s been fun and unfortunately I’m not gonna mess with diabetes cause I don’t want it and unfortunately I can’t just eat loads of pasta cheesecake, candy pizza, and drink gallons and gallons of soda and not have my body breaking down.
this is the ugly truth of this community because while I don’t want to quit, I’m forced to because I don’t want to reap the repercussions of having diabetes the rest of my life and unfortunately, I always told myself if I came to it and I needed to change I would change for the better of my health, but unfortunately no one’s going to get their rocks off to that tonight.
It’s saddens my heart because I never got to experience fully this side of myself and share it with somebody at the wonderful and beautiful size that I was, but unfortunately this is life. This is the ugly side of the community not everybody gets what they want and people deserve the best. They don’t always get what they deserve.
I was probably around 334 at my fattest and I was eating a lot of junk food. I’ve since cut back I cut soda out completely and I’ve been doing sugar-free candy where I can and I am around 306 to 309 pounds after three months of consistent dietary choices.
my A1c was at 6.0 and now I’m at 5.9 and I’m severely prediabetic and I’m working on lifestyle choices that are more healthier and fit in the lines of longevity.
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pastafossa · 5 months
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FINALLY got to take the holt monitor off today oh god the relief it was so itchy. I'm weirdly excited because I can't always predict when my heart's going to its weird 'slam into my chest for no apparent reason' thing but I had two days where I had a couple episodes, so that's been captured on the monitor presumably! Also I can read smut fics again now that they aren't monitoring me. 😅 And I got my echo done today! Now I just gotta wait until the results are in and for my followup in January!
In other news, I finished carving my newest lil sea serpent! Mom wanted to try her hand at painting one, so my part in the process is done! I think he came out adorably, personally. 🥺 Next up is a Bucky Barnes bear, aka a polar bear with blue eyes and my first attempt at a metal arm. We'll see how it goes. 😬
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hysteria-things · 1 month
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Can you make a two part fic about Chris x reader having twins a girl and a boy you can choose the names!
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PHOTO ALBUM (part one)
read part two here
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dad!chris x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: a trip down memory lane when chris discovers a photo album.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SO MUCH FLUFF, flashbacks, happy tears
CHRIS AND READER ARE SET TO BE OLDER!
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,299
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i’m debating for part two to have a little bit of cute smut in it. what do you guys think🤔
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the knot in your neck pops as you move your head from side to side. you love them to death, but having twins is hard work, especially if they’re six months old.
it’s their afternoon nap time, so you just put them in their cribs. you walk down the stairs, seeing baby toys still scattered all over the place. chris was supposed to clean up, but instead, he’s sitting on the sofa with a photo album in his hands.
he’s smiling widely, dragging his finger down the page and flipping. crossing your arms, he looks up at you. “i’m sorry. i got distracted.”
you giggle. “i can tell.”
“but come look at this.” he motions with his hand for you to go over. you do, sitting on his lap as he flips back to the cover. “we haven’t updated this in a while.” he mumbles, kissing your shoulder.
written in black marker were the words BRAEDEN AND LYDIA.
starting this album was chris’ idea. he and his family love photos because photos are memories. he didn’t like the idea of taking pictures on just a phone, and he had a camera lying around. why not put it to use?
PHOTO I
“hi guys,” you say into the phone, glancing around the bathroom. you’re not actually showing this to anybody, but chris isn’t home yet and whenever you’re nervous you like to talk to somebody, even if it is to yourself.
“so, um…” you trail off, grabbing the clear blue pregnancy test box and putting it into the frame. “i’m like ten days late.” you chuckle, opening the box with your shaky hand.
you bite your lip, reading the directions before doing your thing and closing the cap on the test. “so now we wait… what is it? three minutes?” you double-check before nodding. “yeah, three minutes.”
tapping your fingers impatiently, you stare at the loading screen. a simple screen that can determine the rest of your life in a matter of minutes. “i’m scared, but also excited. chris and i weren’t trying but we wouldn’t be upset either. like whatever happens, happens, you know? we’re prepared either way.” you laugh nervously, rambling on and on.
this is the longest three minutes of your life.
“it’s time.” you say, taking a deep breath and covering the test. “oh god.”
a few inhales and exhales later, you uncover your hand cautiously to have a peek. it takes you a bit and a double-take before you grab the object and bring it closer to your face.
a happy sob leaves your mouth before you cup your hand over it and turn the test to the phone. you’re shaking from the adrenaline, but the words are clear on the screen.
‘pregnant.’
while washing the dishes, you hear the front door click open. you smile over your shoulder when chris starts walking to you. “hey.”
“hi!” he exclaims, kissing you on the cheek.
you nod your head to the pot of pasta on the stove. “i made some noodles.”
“thanks,” he says, still smiling and kissing you once again, but this time on the lips.
as he goes to make himself a bowl, you stop him. “i want to show you something.”
furrowing his brows, he looks at you confused. “am i in trouble?”
you laugh, shaking your head. “no.” there’s a hint of emotion in your tone. “close your eyes and open your hand.”
he wants to question you but decides not to and follows your instructions. your eyes start to tear up, pulling the pregnancy test out of your pocket, and place it in his palm.
he opens, seeing your beaming face until he looks down. his eyes widen tremendously. “you’re lying.”
you shake your head, wiping the tear falling from your eyelid before grabbing his face. “you’re lying!” he repeats, this time more energetic as his tears start to form, even though he’s fighting it. “we’re going to have a baby?” he whispers, voice cracking.
“we’re going to have a baby.”
you wipe his eyes until he jolts. “hold on.”
he jogs over to the bookshelf in the living room, grabbing the camera that has been sitting there for god knows how long, and putting it up to his face to look through the hole. “pose!”
the shutter goes off, and that’s where it all begins.
PHOTO II
sunday dinner is a tradition the sturniolo’s have. chris insisted on doing a post-dinner photo, making the others confused but do it anyway. he’s never this excited.
he finishes setting the camera up on the tripod, sprinting back to the group since it’s on a timer.
the camera beeps as it’s counting down, and once it’s at the three-second mark, he speaks. “everybody say… y/n’s pregnant!”
the flash goes off, getting everybody’s reactions all in one.
PHOTO III
“it’s going to be a little cold, but you should be used to it by now.” the ultrasound tech says, and you chuckle. chris sits beside you on a stool, looking at the moving black-and-white picture.
everything’s going smoothly with your pregnancy, a small bump now visible. it’s the twelve-week scan.
you get chills on your body when she puts the gel on your abdomen, moving the device in circles to find the baby as the three of you look at the screen with her stethoscope is in her ears. “huh.” the doctor hums, scooting closer to the monitor. “do twins run in either of your families?”
you and chris look at each other, and then back at the woman. “i’m a triplet.” chris says.
she smiles, nodding her head and bringing her pointer finger up to the screen. “see these? there’s baby a and b. i’m hearing two separate heartbeats, too.”
you rub your forehead while smiling, chris staring in awe at the two moving babies in your belly.
the tech lets you two have your moment, printing out the ultrasound photos. “congratulations.” she says, handing the photos to you.
PHOTO IV
matt and nick were the gender holders, and they dropped off two little cakes from the bakery not long ago.
you and chris didn’t want a big party. you wanted this moment to be between you and him.
you guys set up a picnic blanket in your backyard, the cakes labeled A and B between you.
he’s wearing a blue shirt while you’re wearing a pink summer dress. “are you ready?” he whispers, hovering the knife over the first cake. you hold the other one.
you nod, biting your lip to keep the excitement flowing through your body. “three… two… one…”
slicing a piece, you wiggle in thrill as you plop your piece down on a plate. he mirrors you.
his piece is bright pink, while yours is bright blue. he leans in, squeezing you tight and kissing you passionately on the lips.
“i love you so much,” he says, smothering pecks all over your face. he makes sure to capture this moment on the camera that leans against the picnic basket.
“i love you more.”
PHOTO V
there’s nothing like holding your child for the first time. in this case, there’s nothing like holding two at the same time.
“they’re so precious.” you say, cooing at the one you named lydia. “and so tiny.”
the nurses and doctors left after checking everything to give you guys space. they’re both perfectly healthy. a tear trickles down your cheek, now staring at braeden. “thank you, chris.”
he shakes his head. “this was all you, baby.” he kisses your temple, going to the end of the bed and adjusting the lens. “smile for me, beautiful.”
CLICK!
there are other photos from holidays, but the first five pictures have a special place in your heart. they’re the key moments to your little family that you and chris are growing.
together.
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @sturniolotriplettoplover @stars4matt @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @luv4kozume @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @catalina-island @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @bellasfavbisexual
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hellfire--cult · 1 month
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Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby
Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie
⚠️18+: PINING, LOTS OF IT. Sexual tension, drinking, drinking game, sexual talk
wc: 8.2K
A/N: i can't apologize enough for taking so long. So much happened last month, and I realized I am not capable of having two jobs.
Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!
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CHAPTER 15
“So? You and Nance? Are you guys official or?”
You took a bite out of your sandwich, as you and Robin sat in your office’s cafeteria. All your coworkers were chatting away, laughing, some stressed while still making phone calls, but those were departments you would never think of doing yourself in your life. Sales. Recruiting. You’re glad you have the editor job because the work pressure is not huge, but it is very important and has to be done perfectly.
“I mean it’s been, what, a month? I still think it’s too soon…” Robin sighed as she took a bite out of her pasta. You gulped your food down, taking a long sip of your diet coke, looking at your best friend who had a sad look on her face.
“But you guys are exclusive to each other already.” You commented because that’s what she had indeed told you two weeks ago. She told you that Nance and her, established that they are only hooking up with each other, no one else. 
“Yeah I know, but we’re just having sex, and it’s fun!” You could see the forced smile on your friend’s face and you giggled as she sighed in defeat, slumping back down on her seat.
“Yeah, but you don’t want just the fun Robs. What are you afraid of?” And Robin kept her gaze on her plate, twirling the pasta on the plastic below, not lifting it up to take a bite. You knew why she was scared, she didn’t really need to tell you.
“It started like that with Vickie. What if it happens again? What if I… misinterpret things?  Again?” You sighed at that, reaching out to hold her hand in yours in a reassuring manner.
“I can tell that you are not Robs… Nance gets all giggly when you kiss her cheek… I think she is waiting for you to make the move.” At your words, Robin just squeezed your hand with a small smile on her face. “It will be okay, I promise.”
“If I end up heartbroken, I’m coming for your ass.” You laughed as you let go of her hand, resting back in your chair. 
“You won’t. And you have to remember, Eddie’s best friend’s with Nancy and–”
“And you talk to him almost every fucking day now, and so you have information.”
You frowned at that with a pout on your lip. Robin wasn’t saying that with venom. She was saying it to tease you really. She found it amusing how quickly you and Eddie turned your relationship from hate to almost an unbreakable friendship. 
“I– We don’t talk every day.” And as if on cue, your phone vibrated, a small ting sound informing you that you had been sent something and Robin only rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. “It might be someone else.”
“Really? Open it.”
You winced at your best friend’s order. You knew it was him. You knew he was probably sending you an update on his employee Gareth and how he is freaking out because he thinks Jeff is flirting with him… when it’s all a made-up joke between Eddie and Jeff.
You told him many times to quit it, that Gareth would end up scarred because of it, but Eddie dismissed it because he pranked him once as well, never telling you with what. You assumed Eddie just made a fool out of himself, that’s why he promised to never say a word to you about that.
You slowly raised your phone and unblocked to see Eddie’s message pop up. You took a deep breath in, showing the screen to Robin, only for her to scoff and roll her eyes. You looked back at the screen and it was a message from him reminding you that he has to take a look at the oil tank of your car.
“It’s just about my car.” You excused yourself with that, even though you knew that you two don’t talk just about that. Yesterday he told you that his uncle managed to get up from bed after many days of being unable to do so. The other day you told him about a great orange deal you found around the corner of your apartment building.
But it’s just trivial stuff. They’re just friendly things… but you linger on his Instagram stories.
The ones where he takes in front of the mirror, the ones where he is showing something in his car shop, maybe a wrench, and you can see the inked forearm and hand, veins popping out. And you especially linger on those shirtless selfies he takes in his mirror or when he wears his overalls at his shop with Gareth and Jeff, the top never buttoned, his inked chest at full display.
He is handsome, that’s all there is to it. Your friend is handsome, and he probably takes those pictures to get women to like them so he can have the opportunity to message them and take them out. It’s just that. You have taken a few yourself to try to do the same with all hookups, and you met with Lara again, as well as Jeremy. 
You weren’t really into it. You noticed it since you broke up with Henry and divorced him, that something kind of changed. You felt pleasure, you certainly did… but you never felt complete. It was something you could hardly explain, but you shrugged it off as a weird feeling and that’s it. You loved sex with Billy, but it was because you liked Billy mostly. 
Physically? You were never full.
“Right, whatever. So, today Friday, still on to go to Eddie’s?” Robin said as she took a bite out of her pasta and you nodded at that, replying back to Eddie that you can take the car on Monday for the check-up. It would be the first time you would see Eddie’s home. He told you he lives right above the shop, and it’s kind of like a loft.
His shop is wide, so you can guess just how big it is. But you can sort of imagine how it looks, and it filled you with some kind of excitement that was weird to explain. Maybe you just wanted to know more about your friend; knowing his house was the next step.
“Yeah, is everyone else going too?” You put the phone down and wiggled your eyebrows at your best friend. She bit her bottom lip with a smile on her face and shook her head.
“Yes, Nance is also going.” You giggled at her face becoming red and you looked up to see the TV above, a commercial popping up that made your smile drop completely. Robin frowned and turned around to look at what you were seeing.
Billy Hargrove announcing a GUCCI perfume.
“Guess he got signed to another publicity company.” You murmured and looked back down. In all honesty, you had moved on from Billy and your friends helped a lot with that. They took you out and the hookups you had also made everything go a little bit smoother, and it’s not like you forgot and were done with… the strong feeling of love never got to build.
Your dislike for him only grew when he was interviewed about betas, same-sex marriage, and adoption, and he said he was all for it, with a smile on his face. It made you mad, it made you feel disgusted that you had a relationship with someone like that. That also helped to destroy that yearning you still had for him, it immediately disappeared just like magic.
“Not our problem anymore, nor yours.” And you knew Robin was trying to cheer you up, but because if Billy’s real personality came out into the light, your company would be targeted, you would all have to make a statement that as soon as you found out his ideals, you dropped him and the contract.
“I know… Okay, what do I have to bring today?”
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You didn’t dress much, just some black pants, a white blouse, a little flowy, hem tucked in your pants, you arrived at Eddie’s shop with Robin and Steve, you being the designated driver of the night if it decides to head into a drunken one. 
“The stairs are on the back.” Steve said and guided you both around the shop, your coat keeping you warm in the cold night as Robin rambled about the game she brought for the night. She has been here before, you being the only one in the group to actually see his place for the very first time.
Steve walked up the stairs, which was one flight and you could see the window of his office, and then up another flight of stairs, the metal clinking under your boots at each step you took, and Steve entered a small entryway, very small, like a cove, his feet standing over a mat. 
You blinked in awe at how big his fucking home is. You always thought that this was kind of like a warehouse attic, but no. It had always been his home. Windows were all around and you are just now realizing all the warm lights that lit the inside. Steve knocked on the door and you gripped the beer pack in your hands. You heard murmuring on the other side and then loud boots echoing as they approached the door.
The door swung open to reveal Eddie, burgundy t-shirt on, almost tight to the body, inked arms on display, as well as tattoos that littered around his neck. His hair was in a low bun, stubble on his chin, and you kind of felt your breath hitch in your throat. You were looking at him over Steve’s shoulder, and Eddie’s eyes landed on yours, and for a second you felt a shiver run down your spine, something that has been happening a lot recently… more than you liked.
“Welcome to my coven.” And just like that he moved to the side to let you all in, the warmth of his place invading the three of you, a sigh of relief coming out of each of your lips and you already wanted to take your coat off. You looked around and… it was certainly an industrial loft like you see in those New York movies. Brick walls, the kitchen on a corner, a wide living room, a black leather couch with a coffee table in the middle, and a wider 55” TV in front. 
You also spotted a lot of 80’s rock posters that were put into frames, making them more stylish. An electric guitar next to the TV was standing there, an amp right next to it. You spotted a library as well, and you will snoop into it later just like he did back at your own place. Then you saw the door that was a bit opened, and it was a very nice full bathroom.
And on the other side, you saw some stairs leading up to another part of the home, and you could guess his bedroom was up there. He lived in a better place than you, and… his style was impeccable, so of course that was the first thing you blurted out. 
“Holy shit, I really thought this would be a mess knowing you.” And you now noticed thanks to their laughter that Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle were all sitting on the couch and on top of the wide black fluffy rug below, their drinks sitting on the coffee table that’s in the middle.
“Yeah well, it was. Everything was so mismatched.” Nancy replied and then Steve snorted behind you as he walked towards the kitchen to put the snacks on the island counter and you followed to place the six-pack on the black marble.
“I helped too… This guy has no taste in interior design.” He said and you laughed loudly at that, nodding.
“Now, that makes so much more sense.” “You all fuckers know I’m here, right?” You heard Eddie right behind you, a shiver all over your nape at how low the voice sounded to your ears. Was it always that low? You giggled to hide the nerves and the knots appearing in your stomach, taking your coat off and turning around to face him, handing the fabric to him.
“Oh, I do know. What of it?” And Eddie rolled his eyes at you, snatching the coat off your hand to then turn and see Robin and Steve handing theirs to him with smirks on their face. “You know where to put them.” He said it with anger, yet he grabbed their jackets and went to hang them on his coat rack. You ripped your eyes away from his waist, which caught your attention by the movement and the jingle of his metal belt. You turned to start opening up your six-pack, taking the coronas out, grabbing one for yourself, only for it to be snatched by a ringed and tattooed hand.
“Hey!” You were about to turn your head only for lips to slam against your cheek. Your body heated up by a hundred, to a temperature you haven’t felt in a while. You looked to your side and Eddie was intensely looking at you, and your heart skipped a beat. A cheshire grin spread on his face as he straightened up again, opening the beer for himself.
“Thanks, Peach.” And just like that, Eddie walked away and towards the couch. You turned your head to look at Steve and Robin who were chatting away, putting snacks in bowls, not even noticing what had just happened. 
Your heart was beating strongly, that much you knew, but Eddie was just a touchy person. You two are friends, that’s all you are. You sighed and grabbed another Corona, popping it open, before walking towards the circle of friends, sitting down on the rug next to Argyle, who had a goofy smile on his face as he bumped his shoulder against yours.
“So, how is my brochacha doing?” You smiled at your sweet friend, pressing a hand on his shoulder.
“I am doing good. How about you, my long-haired adonis?” 
“Hey!” You turned your head to see Eddie with a frown on his face and his hands up. You rolled your eyes at him, ran a hand through Argyle’s hair, and showed the ends to the other long-haired man in the room.
“This? Is taking care of the hair. You on the other hand have a rat’s nest.” And at your words, everyone almost spat anything that they were drinking, except for Eddie who simply squinted at you with fiery eyes. 
“I have curly hair, not silky one.” And Argyle threw his hair over his shoulder in a diva manner.
“I am the long-haired Adonis. Deal with it.” Eddie rolled his eyes at his friend but still chuckled loudly as he took a sip of his drink. Steve and Robin soon joined in, Robin sitting on a bean bag chair while Steve sat next to Jonathan, giving his boyfriend a smooch on the cheek in greeting. Your lip twitched upwards at the sight and then your eyes went towards Robin who was smiling while looking at Nancy who was blushing behind her glass.
That leaves three single people in the room. And to think you weren’t one of those a month ago, and now you are glad you are not anymore. Not with the wrong person. You took a long sip of your beer as your heart clouded, mind reeling in memories that do no good. Not now. 
A pair of brown eyes were looking at you and he straightened up, clearing his throat in a loud manner to make everyone, including you, look at him. Eddie looked at Robin, pointing at her.
“You said you bought a new drinking game.” He suddenly spat and Robin squealed, and she groaned when she realized she left her purse on the kitchen counter, getting ready to push herself up, but Nancy straightened up and stood up from the couch.
“I’ll get it!” She said contently and walked to the kitchen island to fetch Robin’s purse and you noticed how fondly your best friend was looking at the bright-eyed girl as she approached the group again and handed the purse to Robin.
“Thank you, baby.” And everyone in the room stilled. Nancy grew red, and Robin became mars. They were both stuttering and shit. You looked at Eddie who also looked at you with the same alarmed look on his face and you knew that he knew the situation of their relationship. 
You took a quick sip of your beer and then you pretended to choke, coughing uncontrollably and aggressively, making everyone turn their heads to look at you. Argyle perked up and started patting your back with a little bit of force to try to help you cough it all out.
“You okay my friend?” He asked and you nodded, clearing your throat and doing a few more little coughs for good measure. 
“Yep, yeah, it just– went through the wrong pipe.” You cleared your throat and Eddie was already putting on music on his phone and towards the speaker. Soon enough, Bad Bunny filled the room and you frowned at the choice and looked at Eddie who was red with embarrassment. 
“Since when do you listen to… latin music?” Jonathan spoke this time and Eddie stuttered for a bit, a snort threatening to leave your nose and mouth. You had to stay strong, you had to hold it in.
“I uh… I am trying to expand– my music taste.” 
And your snort was what did it. Everyone just started cracking up at the whole chaotic situation. Nancy was still blushing though giggles escaped her lips as she sat back down next to Eddie. Robin shot you an appreciative look through her laughter and you saw Nancy bumping Eddie’s shoulder with hers.
“Okay, okay… shut up!” Robin finally yelled and she took a deck of cards from her purse. “Here is my new game. It’s called ‘Everyone drinks’ and it’s just, grab a card and do what it says in there. Simple.” 
“Really? That simple?” Steve asked skeptically and Robin nodded with a mischievous look on her face as she opened the deck and placed it in the middle of the table.
“You start Dingus.” She said with a triumphant look on her face and Steve rolled his eyes and leaned to grab a card and read it. His eyes widened and he looked at Robin and then at the card again. 
“Yeah, no. I’m not doing this–”
“Read it out loud babe. What is it?” Steve gulped as he looked at Jonathan and then back down at the card.
“Using your mouth, put a condom on a person’s thumb. Not doing so equals… Six sips of your drink.”
You all started laughing at the dare and soon came to realize that… if you do not complete the dare, you have a punishment. Oh… this was going to be bad. Jonathan was belly laughing real loud as he looked at his boyfriend.
“Seriously Stevie? Are you telling me you’re embarrassed to do that when you do it to–” 
“NOBODY needs to know that.” And Steve grabbed his solo cup and started taking the sips mentioned, making everyone giggle and laugh at the situation. Robin sniffled and wiped the tears that slipped out of her eyes as she pointed at Jonathan to keep going. He laughed and leaned forward to take another card out, reading it first and laughing before saying it out loud.
“Everyone that had sex while drunk, drink four sips.” Everyone in the circle did an ‘Oh’ in understanding. It wasn’t just individual dares, they were also group questions. Everyone drank the sips except for Robin and Argyle, making the rest of you frown in question. Robin you knew she didn’t like that, but Argyle–
“I always get high, that? I do. Drunk? Never.” He smiled as he finger-gunned Robin who was on the other side of the table and she winked at him. Eddie rolled his eyes and smirked as he pointed his bottle at Argyle.
“Your turn Adonis.” And you shot a glare towards him, knowing he was making fun of you, but you felt yourself gulp when he was already smirking at you and sent a wink your way. Your attention was ripped away from him when Argyle leaned forward and took a card out.
“The last person who had sex takes three sips.” He looked at Robin for instructions and she nodded at him and straightened up.
“Now we go one by one saying when was the last time we all had sex. The most recent one drinks.” She looked at you now and you frowned in thought, blinking a few times before speaking.
“A week ago.” You looked to your right so you could look at Nance, and you also caught the intense brown eyes looking at you but paid them no mind, acting as if you didn’t feel them at all. Nancy was a blushing mess as she looked at Robin and then back down at her cup.
“Two… days ago.” Steve whistled at that and Robin threw a cushion up his head, making Nancy giggle as she looked at Eddie. He was looking at the ceiling, trying to think and he was scrunching up his eyes in order to remember correctly.
“Four days ago.” That surprised you, but why should it? He is handsome and well, it’s obvious he has hookups. Those semi-naked stories on Instagram are for someone… or many? You gulped as you shook those thoughts away trying not to think about how much your friend fucks per week. None of your business.
“Um… Two days ago as well.” Robin answered to Eddie’s stare and Steve whistled again, earning a punch on the shoulder by Robin and he yelled a little ‘ow’ as an answer while rubbing the place she hit.
“What a cunt… Three days ago.” Eddie let out a small whistle too and Steve only rolled his eyes at him while Jonathan chuckled.
“Same I guess.” And then you all looked at Argyle who seemed to realize that it was his turn, giving a little jump in his place. “Oh, today!” He said with a smile and all the people in the room almost stood up with surprised looks on their faces.
“What!? With who!? Spill it!” You yelled at him and he raised his hands in innocence while looking at you in a panic.
“With Eden! The girl I matched on Tinder! She is– Oh god guys, she is so perfect… We got high, I made some pizza and– perfect date.” Okay, maybe it’s just you and Eddie the only single people in this circle. You gave Argyle a pat on the shoulder with a smile on your face.
“Good job.” He giggles at you like a little kid and motions for you to pick a card. There was a fun nervous knot in your belly as you smiled, reaching over and grabbing a card out of the pile. You read it first and your eyes widened a little in surprise but the smile didn’t leave your lips.
“Say what you like to do the most during sex, or take a shot.” Everyone in the circle let out a synchronized ‘Ooooh’, making you snort a little as you go into thought. There were many things you liked during sex, but you had to pick one. You had soft ones, mild ones… and rough ones.
“How much thought you gotta put into this?” Steve chuckled at your indecision and you shot him a glare and straightened up with a triumphant smile on your lips, deciding on one thing.
“Okay, well… I like to ride.” And Eddie instantly spat what he was drinking and Steve laughed loudly as the rest stared at them with wide eyes. Did you say something funny? 
“Fuck– Sorry, didn’t expect you to say that.” Eddie commented as he cleared his throat looking back at you. Your eyes squinted at him, licking the inside of your cheek.
“And what did you expect me to say?”
“Hell if I know, just not that.” Eddie finished, taking a long sip of his beer as Jonathan raised his hand up to talk.
“I didn’t expect it either, to be honest.” You rolled your eyes, not really understanding what they thought of you. It’s not common for women to take initiative, that’s true, but it’s a position that… became your favorite the past year. Be it with a dick or a strap-on, it was the only way to feel, or pretend to feel, full.
“Okay, my turn.” Nancy smiled as she reached over to take a card from the pile, and Eddie looked over her shoulder to look at it as Nancy’s smile slowly fell. Eddie snorted, eyes widening as he covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stifle his laughs. Nancy shot him a glare before hitting his shoulder. “Shut up!”
“I’m– this is great.” He only mumbled as he shook his head with a smile on his face and Steve motioned Nancy to continue.
“What does the card say Nance?” She straightened up and cleared her throat as she looked down at the card.
“Sit on a person’s lap for a whole round. In not doing so, you will have to take two shots.” You stifled your own laugh now as you looked down but you could hear everyone else snorting softly and clearing their throats. 
Robin though, simply straightened up and you looked up to see her patting her knee. Despite the nervousness, you could clearly see in your friend’s features, she was making moves, and you were proud that Robin was finally feeling a bit more confident in trusting Nancy. Her face was bright red and it worsened when Nancy stood up from her place and walked towards her, falling on her lap, making the bean bag chair sink even farther than before.
“Cozy?” Argyle asked and you snorted but still elbowed him on the arm, making him laugh, and clearing his throat.
You looked at Eddie who was smiling as Robin whispered something to Nancy, making her relax and giggle as Robin’s arms were around her, one hand resting on her knee, and the other arm around her waist. You felt your heart do some kind of little jump at how supportive he was of Nance, just like you were with your Robs.
“C’mon Eddie, stop laughing and pick a card.” Robin spat at him and he rolled his eyes at her, flipping her the middle finger before reaching out to pick a card out of the deck. For the second time in the night, Eddie Munson spat a bit of his beer as he choked on the liquid.
“Sh-Shit.” Eddie coughed a few times as everyone looked at him completely startled.
“The fuck does that card say?” Steve asked with curiosity. Eddie blinked a few times and you could see he was trying to come up with a fake sentence, stuttering as he read the card, so you pointed at him.
“He is going to lie!” And at your warning yell, Nancy reached out and snatched the card away to look at it. Eddie cursed under his breath as he sighed, scratching the back of his head.
“It’s not even that bad.” Nancy explained with a pout and Jonathan nodded at her with a confused frown on his face.
“Read it Nance.”
“Name your favorite sex position.” And at Nancy’s words, Steve let out the biggest laugh you’ve heard in the night. You frowned as you looked at Argyle for answers but he just shrugged at you with the same confused look and then you all turned to Eddie who was fuming, looking at Steve who was talking in between his chuckles.
“I know it. I’m sorry it’s just–” and Eddie stopped him.
“A fucking coincidence. It’s all it is, goddamnit.” And it seems Jonathan’s head clicked because he let out a loud ‘Ooooh’ and then started chuckling into his hand as he took a sip of his drink, making you even more confused than before.
“What’s a coincidence?” You asked and then Nancy started laughing as well, already angering you that everyone was putting a puzzle together in their heads while you were yet to understand anything that was going on.
“C’mon Eds. What’s your favorite sex position?” She insisted and Eddie’s eyes clenched tightly and then sighed, looking at Steve with pure hatred in his eyes.
“Cowgirl.” 
Huh? That’s it? That’s not—
“Oh.” 
Silence. Absolute silence. Your face started to heat up, slowly, as well as your entire body because– fuck, the images. You can’t imagine that. Not with Eddie. He is just a friend who helped you through your breakup. So you two share the same sex position, what’s the big deal?
“Damn, I love it too man, but reverse cowgirl is where it’s at.” Argyle commented, finally breaking the silence and you couldn’t hold it in, snorting out a laugh. Brown eyes were staring at you, bewildered, but a smile started creeping on his face and soon he was laughing alongside you.
“You know what’s funny?” Eddie called out to you and you opened your eyes to look at him, a mischievous smile on his face as he leaned towards you, making you lean and tilt your head to look at him. You were sitting after all, and you weren’t even close to eachother, yet, you could smell his cologne, like a fire spreading all over your body.
“What’s that Munson?” You replied with a sly smirk, which Eddie enjoyed as he pointed at Steve.
“He likes cowgirl too… and he likes to be one.” Jonathan spat everything that was in his mouth, cracking up loudly and shaking his head, while Steve turned three shades of red, grabbing onto a Dorito and throwing it in Eddie’s way.
“I’m going to fucking kill you after this.” Steve grumbled under his breath as he took a sip out of his beer and looked at Robin to continue the game while Jonathan tried to regain his breath next to his boyfriend. Argyle was patting his back, holding back the laughter while your shoulders shook, keeping the snorts in.
You looked up in order to see Robin asking Nancy to grab a card for her since she couldn’t move, but you noticed in your peripheral vision, a pair of dark eyes looking at you, almost boring into your skull. You turned your head to see Eddie moving to sit on the floor as well now, next to you. 
“May I help you Munson?”
“Wanted to sit like the peasants.” He replied with a smirk, taking a sip of his beer and you raised an eyebrow at him, bumping his shoulder with yours.
“Aw, did you feel a little bit lonely on the couch?” You giggled as you fixed your hair, pushing a strand behind your ear. “Needed some company?” 
And Eddie stared at you, an eyebrow raised up, almost as if testing you. You felt everything stop for a second, and that stupid knot in your belly turned again, bothering you once more. It was as if… you were nervous. Or anxious? But even so, you can’t pull your eyes away from him at all, and they widen as a smirk forms on his lips, leaning close to you, and a voice you never heard before coming from him. Low, only for you to hear.
“You offerin’ Peach?” 
What?
“Everyone that ever cheated, takes two sips!” Robin’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. Eddie was looking at Robin with a roll of his eyes, and your best friend clapped in excitement that no one in the room cheated before with any partner. 
But– What? Did Eddie just– No… He didn’t. He was just teasing, like a friendly banter. Fake flirting and all that. This is what it was, wasn’t it? You are definitely overthinking. Yet– why the fuck did you like it?
You took a long sip of your beer and noticed it was already empty. Soon, you all had your second drink of the night and the dares and truths kept coming, making everything enjoyable and fun.
Steve gave you a peck on the lips because his card said to kiss the opposite sex or he takes a shot, and he wasn’t going to risk his head with either Robin or Nancy. 
Jonathan took a shot because he preferred to not do the dare he got. He disliked the idea of having to take a body shot out of someone’s belly button, even if it were Steve’s. In Jonathan’s words, you never know what goes in there, and you honestly agree with it. 
Argyle probably got the funniest of them all.
“C’mon Brochacho, get up!” Eddie was whining next to you, shaking his head and you were laughing as you patted his shoulder.
“You just have to stay still, Eds.” And he only shot a glare your way as he got up from the floor to walk towards Argyle who was jumping up and down in excitement with his phone in hand.
“I swear to god–”
“Yeah, right there’s perfect man.” Argyle pressed play on his phone and the music in the place changed to Everytime we Touch by Cascada and laughter was heard all over the room while Eddie groaned with a whine as he looked up at the ceiling, asking for mercy.
“I want to die.” You heard him talk but not a second later, Argyle started to seductively move around Eddie while the metalhead stayed still. Steve whistled through his cackles and tutted at Argyle’s movements.
“The card said ‘Use a person as your personal stripper pole or take three shots.’ and, as far as I know, you GRAB onto stripper poles!” You almost spat what you were drinking as Eddie’s eyes turned murderous, looking at his best friend, but Argyle wrapped his arms around Eddie and slowly started grinding down. 
You were filming a story for Instagram, trying to contain your laughter as you saw Argyle dancing on a very scary Eddie Munson. Your cheeks were burning and aching from how much you were smiling, and everyone else was just clapping along to the music until Eddie had enough, raising his hands up.
“Okay, it’s done!” He yelled as he ran back next to you, plopping down on the rug, exhaling harshly, and shaking all of his limbs as if that would wipe his memory from what had just happened. The music turned back to a background volume and into an 80’s mix as Argyle sat back down on your left again.
“I do personal private dances for fifty.” And Jonathan laughed, taking a few sips of his Margarita. You were still giggling at the video you took, tagging everyone in it, ready to upload it. But a strong hot breath stopped you from pressing ‘post’, very close to your cheek, and it smelt like tobacco, beer, and firewood thanks to his cologne.
“Post that, and I wreck you.” 
You clenched. Shit, that– He is just close, that’s all. For fuck sake, it’s just the cologne. You were always sensitive to smells and perfumes, and a good perfume on a man did wonders. You took a deep breath to calm yourself down before straightening up and turning your head to look at him. The knot in your stomach became painful when your nose touched his from how close he was. 
His brown eyes were staring into yours, deeply, and if you were in a state of delusion, you would think he was showing interest in them. It just made your stomach turn, your heart jump out of your throat, and it made you– nervous. It’s just Eddie. He is messing with you. Totally fucking messing with you, because that’s just who Eddie is.
A ping was heard and Eddie’s eyes blinked in surprise, pulling away to take his phone out of his back pocket. His eyes widened, jaw dropped as he stared at the notification. His eyes slowly turned to look back at you, and all you had was an innocent smile on your face as you locked your phone again, putting it on the table. 
“I’d like to see you try Munson.” And Eddie only stared at you as you reached out to get hold of a card. He hummed to himself as he looked back down at the notification of you tagging him in an Instagram story. You sat back down as you read the card for yourself, mouth dropping instantly as you cleared your throat, putting the card down.
“Um… Can I pick another one?” Everyone booed at you and you shook your head at them, feeling your entire burning a hundred degrees. “It’s just–”
You couldn’t even finish your words, the card being snatched away from your left hand in one move, draining all the blood from your body. Your stomach was flipping upside down as you saw Argyle’s smile widen as he read the card first.
“Kiss the first person on your right, on the lips, or finish your own drink and theirs.” 
You would have done the latter, if it weren’t so much, because your bottle was halfway full, and Eddie had a brand new one open. Your heart was thumping wildly in your chest, but you didn’t know why you were caring so much. It’s not like it’s anything crazy, it’s just a kiss, and friends sometimes kiss for fun without it meaning anything at all… right?
“Jeez Peach, is my face that unpleasant?” You blinked, turning your head to see Eddie with a smirk on his face, making your face turn into a mocking one.
“Maybe it is Eddie.” You would have thought that his smirk would have fallen by now, but it remained, as well as his eyes staring right into yours. You felt a sharp pain right in your chest and you knew your nerves were getting the best of you now. 
“It’s just a kiss!” Robin yelled from her chair and you glared at her as Nancy giggled on her lap. Your palms were sweating, fingertips tingling as you tried to gather up courage. You weren’t a fucking teenager, you were a grown woman, you shouldn’t be flustered by this. But Eddie is your friend now, it would be like–
“It’s either that, or you chug those two beers Peach.” Eddie was taunting you, the smirk still showing on his lips with that playful look in his eyes. His shoulder was brushing against yours as you both stared at one another. You gulped gently in order for him to not notice how nervous you felt, because you would be kissing your friend, and you really don’t want to make it weird.
But you really don’t want to chug those beers… And you can’t deny that there’s some curiosity inside of you. After all, the first time you saw Eddie you thought he was handsome. Probably even tried to flirt with him. With time, that attractiveness disappeared thanks to all the hate you felt for him and him for you… But what if it never truly disappeared? What if it was hidden?
He was sitting with his legs crossed, leaning back, using his hands and arms for support, your friends whistling for you to move and kiss him, to get over with it. And they’re right, you just have to do it and you can move on. There’s no meaning behind it. You just don’t want to do the stupid chugging. That’s all there is. 
You don’t want him. You are just nervous because he is a friend and friends don’t normally do this. It can turn everything awkward so it’s normal to feel weird about doing it. But it is just a meaningless kiss. It really is just a small and boring kiss.
You leaned towards him and you couldn’t reach him. You would have to move your entire body to lean all the way to his face if he didn’t lean in to meet you halfway as well.
“Munson.” You gritted out through your teeth in annoyance. He just kept grinning at you, staying in his same spot, not moving a single inch towards you.
“You are the one that has to kiss me, Peach.” Your eye twitched at his cockiness. Is he the king of England? You heard Jonathan and Argyle chuckle at the situation and that only ignited the fires within you even more, the annoyance starting to boil in your chest. Eddie lost eye contact with you to laugh with them and your arm shot upwards.
Your hand gripped the back of his head, your nails digging into his scalp and holding him tightly there, forcing him to turn his head towards you. His eyes were wide and he looked like he wanted to say something, but you didn’t let him. No. He doesn’t get to be cocky and make you seem like a coward.
You pulled him towards you, and he winced when he almost lost his balance on his arms thanks to your force. His breath was close, his cologne was stronger, making you feel a little lightheaded, but in a good way. It means nothing. It means absolutely nothing, and nothing will change between the two of you.
Because you are friends now.
But you didn’t expect for his lips to be soft. You didn’t expect to feel your stomach exploding and your chest having a heave of relief. You didn’t expect to feel an electric current go from the top of your head to the sole of your feet. You didn’t expect it to feel good. You didn’t expect the intensity of it all by just this small kiss.
You can feel him taking a deep intake of breath through his nose as you two kissed, and you held in the need of moving your lips because, fuck, you really wanted to move your lips on his. You wanted to keep kissing him because it feels so good, he feels– perfect.  It was a small and short kiss, but you made sure it was deep. You made sure to taste it accordingly.
And you pulled away with a smack of lips. Your eyes opened to find brown orbs looking at you with something you really could not decipher, but it made your whole body light on fire, almost as if you were about to combust. His eyes went back and forth on your eyes and then down to your lips, to your now reddened lips that had just kissed his. 
Was it the beer? Was the small amount of alcohol you drank able to make you feel like wanting to dive into another kiss with him? It must be. It’s done, that was it. A friendly kiss. Not even with tongue, just a peck, it was small and enough to complete the dare. You had to talk to lose the tension because you wouldn’t be able to take his stare much longer.
“Speechless Munson? Seems I’m really good.” That was your cocky answer in order to disguise the turmoil of nerves in your belly as you turned to the rest of the group who were still whistling and wooing you both. You flipped them off, not even noticing that Eddie’s eyes were still locked onto the side of your face. 
The air in the room definitely changed.
“Never thought I’d see the day you two would kiss, but, it was less weird than you two becoming friends.” Nancy replied as she grabbed a card but what she said caught your attention, and it seemed Eddie’s too because he sat back up, staring at her.
“What does that mean?” Eddie asked and you felt another wave of cold sweat at his voice, and you tried to tell your head to not raise the temperature of your body again. You don’t want to give yourself away that you were nervous or felt awkward. Nancy just shrugged at the two of you and read her card out loud.
“Everyone that wants to have sex tonight, take a drink!” She cheered loudly with a smile and she turned to look at Robin before taking a sip. Robin’s face reddened as she took a sip herself, and Steve wiggled his eyebrows at Jonathan as he raised his cup to his lips while the other had already taken his drink and rolled his eyes at his boyfriend.
Should you lie…? But you could– You could mean anybody, it wouldn’t seem like you would want to do it with him, right? Would it look like that if you drank? What if he drinks? It probably doesn’t mean with you, doesn’t it? It’s just a general feeling, wanting to have sex. It’s normal. 
So you took a sip, trying to not think too deeply into it, but then your eyes caught the tipping of a bottle on your right. You managed to not turn, keep your head forward, seeing everyone laughing, trying to not pay attention to the man on your right who had just taken a sip, at least until your nerves settled back to normal. You looked at Argyle with an eyebrow raised up.
“You– Oh right.” You giggled at that and he nodded at you with a playful look in his eyes.
“Don’t get me wrong, I totally would again, but I’m satisfied for now.” You giggled at that and nodded, feeling a bit of the tension leave your shoulders as you interacted with Argyle. You saw Robin reaching out for a card but Eddie raised his hand up.
“Nuh uh Buckley. My turn.”
“Huh? But Nancy–”
“Nancy was sitting next to me, between Peach and I. So technically, it’s my turn.” He didn’t address the fact that Nancy could already go back to her place, leaving her on Robin’s lap. Robin flipped him off and Eddie chuckled with victory as he grabbed onto a card and looked at it. You decided to break the tension with him as well because you just cannot keep being weird all night. You were acting like a teenager.
“What does that one say, Munson?” You were grinning towards him and he looked down at you, a smirk on his lips and you felt a bit of relief at the known interaction.
“All the people that wanted, at any point, to fuck a friend, take a drink.”
You blinked a few times, his words processing in your head, and then he put the card on the table, facing up. It truly did say that. You cleared your throat and you looked down at your bottle of beer. Why do you feel like you have to take a sip? Your mind kept going back to Instagram stories with a bare chest that was filled with tattoos, dirty overalls, and ringed fingers holding tools or beer cans. 
Your mind went back to his lips on your cheek. To his voice against your ear. To his breath against your cheek and lips. To his lips against yours. To his words. 
No, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t that. He is a friend. Eddie is just a friend.
“Why are you drinking Jonathan?” Steve asked with an eyebrow raised up and that made you snap out of your thoughts, looking at the couple. “We are together, so we don’t count babe.” 
“Well…” Jonathan then pointed at you with a smile on his face. “You forgetting that I went on a date with that beautiful girl there once?” 
And you smiled at that, nodding and raising your beer with relief, clinking it with his. Maybe it wasn’t exactly sexual attraction, but… you can pretend it was. You were saving your ass. You knew you were. The realization already happened, but you can just hide it. It won’t happen, it cannot happen because it would just ruin the friendship, the group. 
You took a sip as well as Nancy and Robin. Argyle took a sip and he explained that back in California, he had this group of friends from the pizzeria he worked at, and there was this girl that was just too pretty for her own good. You were listening to him, not noticing the other person that took a sip of his beer. 
A person that wouldn’t have taken a sip before. A person that has been hungrily looking at you all night. A person who has been stalking your Instagram more than he should. A person with brown eyes whose interest is at its peak. But maybe, just like you, it’s better to not do anything about it. Save the friendship, don’t commit to it, not because of just sexual attraction.
Besides you two are adults, and you can handle these urges.
Can’t you?
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end of chapter 15
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A/N: slowly but surely. it's not called a slowburn for nothing.
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nexusnyx · 3 months
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who would've thought
#NightSkyChallenge: Prompt 9 —  The night you make a decision. [“You told me to think about it, and I did."] [1.5k]
SUMMARY: Growing older turned out to be fun. It turned out to be lascivious, and whimsical. All Bucky ever wanted was to find someone as crazy as him, and willing to live life with some good in it. Bucky has fun.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ꒰˗꒱
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“It smells good,” you announce.
The words prompt Bucky to inhale deeper than before, only to attest to the words. Inside the pot it looks good—the spices are turning the meat to a colorful red, sparkled in the green of herbs and the thickness of the sauce is as pleasing as the scents he registers. “It does,” he turns around to smile at you and catches your eyes already on him.
You support your head on your hand, elbow sitting on top of the table where your laptop is, filled with work. Every time Bucky catches the intensity in your gaze, his initial reaction is a type of nervous giddiness—he’s reluctant to say the word shy, but Bucky grew up and developed his mind in a time when women had to be brave to be as bold as you are, and the kind of eyes you give him sometimes makes him squirm.
“What?” you ask.
“Stop giving me eyes.”
You laugh at him. The audacity. “I’m only looking at you, Barnes.”
“No, no, you’re not.” He turns his attention back to the pot, feeling the tingle on his back. “See? I can feel it.”
“Feel what?”
He loves hearing your voice through laughter. “Your eyes on me.”
“Good, means your super senses and whatnot are still up to date despite the good old age.” This time he has to laugh with you. Most people in his daily life either have the utmost respect for him or fear Bucky somehow. Since day one all you do is look at him like he’s a guy—not just a guy, or any guy. Your guy, thank whatever god is looking. “Laugh all you want, I’ll look as much as I want.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
He turns for one more look, one that has a conversation of its own.
I like it when you look, my love,
I like looking, my love.
Preparing food turned out to be one of the parts he loved the most about routine. When Bucky started working again, everything felt different. Stranger.
Foreign.
It’s been decades since Bucky felt like a stranger in a strange land, but everything about this world made him feel that way.
All of it except for you.
When he’s cooking, you’re working.
Bucky returns from the Avenger Tower to meet you in your apartment almost every day. Casper, the doorman of your building, now opens the gates when Bucky passes with his bike and nods an “evening, Sargent!” and the words are starting to register as the beginning of what coming home feels like.
‘Evening, Sarge’ marks the start of Bucky cooking while you’re finishing up work, and you two talk about the day apart, sharing everything and updating one another on the lives of people sometimes the other one had never even met.
This evening, he saved on his phone a recipe for pasta Alfredo, and Bucky talked a lot about the trainees of agents as he prepared the sauces from scratch.
Every time he had to say important things nowadays, he felt what his therapist defined as the ‘most common aspects of anxiety’. Recognizing them made things easier not only here in his personal life—work and everything else benefited from understanding all the different layers with which his past and being deleted from existence did to him.
Bucky’s experiencing stomach tightness, the fogginess around the thoughts.
Your touches keep him grounded.
‘Grounding techniques are important, James.’
‘I just don’t see how touching grass makes a difference when I’m malfunctioning—’
‘Don’t call it that, you’re not a machine.’
‘‘Kay, when I’m frozen, and fuckin’ stuck, you’re telling me that doing stuff for my senses’s gonna help somehow?’
‘Try it. Ask for help.’
“I did it.”
“Did what?” you ask him.
Bucky serves both plates and enjoys the view of you bent over the table organizing the cutlery, and pouring wine into both of the glasses.
He needs a second before replying. “You told me to think about it, and I did it.”
There’s no need to further elaborate because there’s a direct link, Bucky discovered, in unfinished conversations between people who live together.
“You did?” you ask.
There are a few moments of silence as you two take the first sips of the wine and appreciate the food he’s cooked.
“I’m not sure if I’m ready,” your voice is only an octave above a whisper. “To listen to it.”
When you told him your job would make you move, Bucky’s mind spiraled into options long before you told him to think about it.
“Scared of what?” he asks.
You shrug. “‘m not sure.” Part of him is sure, but he keeps it to himself. You’re prone to shutting down and not finishing your thoughts if someone interrupts you. “It’s not like—we’re not breaking up. And—whether you decided to stay here in Manhattan or you’re coming to somewhere closer, we’re still us. I’m just—I never had to deal with… this before.”
‘This’ could be the decision to live together or something more—a partner to choose things with, perhaps. Even though you were in your early thirties, Bucky knew he was the first man who managed to properly keep your attention for longer than months, so he nods along, waiting for you to continue.
When he looks up to find your eyes waiting for his, Bucky pauses.
The fork stills, suspended in the path between his half-finished plate and his mouth, and Bucky’s lips part.
The way you look at him. It could tear him apart from limb to limb or sew him back together. It could put all of his dusty particles and glue them into something solid again.
“It was quite easy,” he admits. It had been. As easy as enrolling once was, a decision so simple and so factual. “Deciding to retire.”
This time it’s you who turns into stone.
Bucky’s heart pounds in his chest despite his certainty that his decision was a good thing. While your brain catches up with his words Bucky can feel the prickling in his neck, and your whisper of, “What?” is what pulls the strings on the corner of his lips.
His smile makes you come out of your stupor.
“Retirement. Not working anymore—well, I’d never lie to you and say I’ll never ever work for Fury again. I told him he could call for consults any time he’d like but since all he had to say was ‘sure thing, Barnes, if I need a tip on how to be broody or how to make a Captain America listen to me you’re the first one on my list’ I think those calls will come rarely. If ever.”
The clink of your fork dropping and your chair being pushed back is all the notice he has before Bucky has a lap full of you.
He laughs inside your hold—the hands that always cup his cheeks and thread through his now much shorter hair.
The strands of white in his hair now pull your look away from his eyes sometimes; you loved the white, as much as you loved Bucky’s everything, and that’s why it was so damn easy.
“I’m not sure what to say,” your voice trembles, so Bucky squeezes you.
“Hmm—‘thank god, it’s about damn time’?”
Making you laugh means his day was successful. “Bucky!”
“What? It’s what almost everyone said.”
“Well, I’m not everyone—”
“Clearly,” he makes a point of pushing you closer to his body, and gets some giggles in return.
“and… I—I wasn’t expecting that.” It softens him how you’re melting to the news. “I just…” your eyes pierce through his, diving deep into the blue. “Are you sure about this, James?”
James.
Bucky could say he’s as sure of this as he is of the fact he wants to hear you say his name like that at an altar.
He could say he’s as sure as he is of the fact he loves you and he’s ready to live a life, not just fight for it, but that would make you cry, and truthfully, all Bucky wants is more of your smiles and perhaps you for dessert.
“Never been more sure.”
Growing older turned out to be fun. It turned out to be lascivious, and whimsical. It meant having dinner with the person he loved, sharing good news, and then ending the night by making the neighbors hear how well he eats what is good.
All Bucky ever wanted was to find someone as crazy as him, and willing to live life with some good in it.
He found even better—he found you.
So given the teachings he’s had over the past years, he decides to do something for himself before his time as James Barnes runs out— Bucky has fun.
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☆ inbox 💌 ㅤㅤㅤ☆ tip jar ♡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ☆ masterlist ✒️
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ros3ybabe · 13 days
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Daily Check-in: April 14, 2024 🎀
Hello lovelies! Life is looking better again, but omg was Wednesday thru Saturday morning rough for me. Even last night I was crying my eyes out, but things got better today so I am happy. I want to make a small announcement about the future of my blog: I am changing the theme!! I will still be keeping the pinterest-image, pink, girly aesthetic for my more general posts (lists, routines, etc) but for my daily check ins, I will be using photos I take myself (anonymous surroundings, notes, food/drinks, etc) and colors and emojis that compliment the photos! I have been wanting to change the vibe a bit lately to make it more me, more personal, and I think now is the time to do so! I'm excited to start taking my own photos now, that'll be so fun!!
🩷 What I Accomplished:
washed my sheets, towels, blankets, and comforter
washed and put away all laundry
cleaned the bathroom
packed shoes to ship from my depop shop
cooked chicken fettuccine alfredo from scratch (I made the sauce myself too! it was heavy on the parm and some pieces of chicken were salty, but it was so yummy and rich in flavor!)
planned out some of my week
packed my gym bag for tomorrow (I'm gonna start working out again, I'm nervous)
did my guided journal and morning journal
read 3 chapters of The Untethered Soul (interesting so far, going to keep reading to see how I enjoy it)
wrote out my brain dump for the week
reflected on the week + updated with my accountability buddies
bought groceries (time to make smoothies for breaky this week) and toiletries
🩷 Good Things That Happened:
my pasta was super yummy
had a long phone call with my dad (it was a good talk!)
finally read a physical book and not on my ipad
had such a nice, long shower early this morning
confidently planned goals for the week
my psyc assignment got extended til Wednesday for the whole class
found a recipe for avocado protein smoothie (excited to try it)
🩷 Stuff For Tomorrow
make a breakfast smoothie
gym cardio workout
need to ship shoes I sold
need to complete my homework
studying Spanish (have an italki lesson on April 22nd!!)
read some more
studying chemistry in preparation for my finals
No "what needs to go better" for me today, because today was a really good day. I'm feeling better and life itself is working out the way I knew it would. I just gotta trust in the universe more.
til next time, lovelies 🩷
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