#panromantism
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A celebration of Joey Batey offering TV show writers a pure masterclass on how to write a queer character with a queer audience in mind.
Can I just say how much respect and appreciation I have for Joey, that he went above and beyond in term of queer representation, by bringing some much needed attention towards people on the aromantic spectrum, and making gender a complete romantic/sexual (and even queerplatonic) non-issue?
I mean, imagine that you are part of a show with a young and powerful canonically bisexual lead, Ciri, who is at an age where people might start exploring their own sexuality, slowly figuring out who and what they like, etc.
And suddenly, you're offered to also be playing another queer lead character, with a male love interest - while knowing it will be the very first time that the audience will be officially introduced to the idea of Jaskier being queer...
And, instead of going with the more familiar, and often expected:
"A man that's always been with women before, now finds himself romantically and sexually attracted to a man, and starts questioning his own sexual identity..." coming out story...
You find yourself with a unique opportunity to go a bit further, to explore more specific and lesser known LGBTQ+ themes, and to delightfully surprise your queer audience!
You can take a full dive into the wonderful world of Queerdom, by exploring a different - yet just as equally important and significant - coming out story!
i.e.
"A usually aromantic person, that has always experienced squishes, smushes, and possibly meshes before, finds himself experiencing a (sapio)romantic crush for the very first time, and starts questioning his romantic identity..."
Of course, a lot of people in the audience will probably miss this.
The monosexuals that have been conditioned to believe that gender must always play a role in how one experiences romantic and sexual human attraction - will likely be paying more attention to how Jaskier is showing an interest in a man.
People that are used to equating "falling in love" with "romantic attraction", might miss the significance and importance of Vespula specifically using the word crush to refer to Jaskier's current attraction towards Radovid.
People that typically see non-gender-related orientations as "mere preferences", or have simply never heard of them, might miss how Jaskier goes on and on about how "emotionally intelligent and insightful Radovid is" , with a look of vulnerability and wonder, putting emphasis on how different he feels about him.
People that were taught to see emotional relationships according to the "platonic vs romantic" binary - with a strict idea of what each means and implies - may not be familiar with what queerplatonic relationships are, and will interpret Jaskier saying that he loves Geralt "platonically" as meaning that he's not as deeply and strongly in love with him as one might usually expect a romantic partner to be.
They'll be unaware that there are committed life partners out there - that would go to the end of the world for each other and perhaps even share sexual intimacy together - that don't have any romantic feelings for each other whatsoever.
Romance does not mean "being in love", romance means "being in love in a romantic way".
And it is not the only way.
To aromantics and greyromantics - and even to romantic people that also have the capacity to fall in love in non-romantic ways, such as yours truly - queerplatonic and alterous relationships aren't "lesser than" romantic ones, they are different.
And Radovid... is different.
Radovid is no better, nor worse, than a hammer...
But he's a spoon.
He's a romantic connection that is completely new, exciting and intriguing to explore for Jaskier!
According to Joey Batey, as a sapioromantic panromantic pansexual, Jaskier finds himself developing a strong sapioromantic and sapiosexual connection with Radovid.
Jaskier is representing people that aren't romantically or sexually affected by a partner's gender in the way that they experience sexual atttraction, and people that experience a lot of tertiary attraction when falling in love, while very seldom ever being able to love others in a romantic way (sapioromantics / greyromantics... ).
Jaskier is a queer character that was truly created with a queer audience in mind!
He was created so that all of us that don't see or experience love according to the platonic vs romantic binary.
All of us that are hyperaware of those other forms of attraction (tertiary, aesthetic, sensual, etc.) that one can experience for another human being.
All of us that don't see or experience romance or sexuality as something that ties into their partner's gender.
Could finally see themselves in a character on screen.
Of course, you still need characters that experience their sexuality while feeling like the gender of their romantic and sexual partners matters - including those that love all genders... Desperately so!
First, because all members of the queer community matter and are equally as important and valuable. Rejoicing over Batey diving into lesser known and familiar representation doesn't mean that familiar and better known representation should not be encouraged and celebrated as well!
This is not a "there should be less gay character on TV to make room for more aromantics and asexuals instead" post.
This is a "we need queer identities people are less familiar with in addition to proper gay, lesbian and bisexual representation" post.
And second, because you still need characters that don't stray too much from the platonic v.s. romantic binary, too - and the usual social conventions tied to romance and sexuality - so that non-queer audiences can more easily connect, and empathize with, the queer community.
Because, when the existence of bisexuality already is something that monosexual people often have a hard time understanding, acknowledging, or even believing in...
Well, going:"By the way, I'll have you know that you can totally want to have sex with, live, and raise children with someone you've got platonic feelings for, too!"
You might accidentally lose them.
And if you try to explain that some people are unable to romantically connect with anyone, unless they get specifically attracted to their intellect (often combined with their aesthetic looks)!
That's likely going to be even worse!
And this is where Batey's pure genius comes to light.
Because he's just shown that you can find a beautiful and organic way to explore queerness more in depth - totally stepping away from the usual relationship conventions and specifically addressing your queer audience - simply by using a vocabulary that said queer audience will understand and connect with.
You can make it clear that the character is on the greyromantic spectrum, by having Vespula state that she's never ever seen him with a crush before!
You can put the emphasis on him being more specifically sapioromantic, by having him dreamily go on about how Jaskier perceives Radovid's intellect.
And, if Batey is to be believed - and he's been exploring the idea of Jaskier being queer since the very beginning of the show (without any clear response from the writers or producers regarding Jaskier's sexuality) - then, by making it clear that he loves Geralt platonically in Season 3, he's also allowing us to revisit all the scenes between Jaskier and Geralt from Season 1, while enjoying them through an aromantic lense.
Someone on the aromantic spectrum watching that scene might thus find themselves deeply connecting with the strong platonic squish (although it could also be a mesh) that Jaskier immediately experienced the very first time he saw Geralt...
You can see Jaskier as specifically believing himself to be Geralt's best friend in the whole wide world, and instinctively reading into Geralt allowing him to physically/sensually touch him (rubbing chamomile onto his lovely bottom) as him possibly desiring a queerplatonic connection with him also.
And, the scene where he's suggesting to Geralt that they could get away for a while, head to the coast together...
Where he mentions that life is too short not to do what pleases you, and admits that he's trying to work on what pleases him...
Look, the fact is that there's always been aromantic and greyromantic people experiencing tertiary forms of love and attractions for other people long before we had any words to put on those emotions, desires and needs.
So, it's rather easy to see Jaskier as someone that is experiencing a powerful alterous attraction for his best friend, and realizing that what pleases him the most, is the idea of them sharing a queerplatonic or alterous relationship together...
It makes sense to interpret what Jaskier is saying as him trying to express and articulate the love he feels for Geralt the best he can - implying that Geralt is what pleases him - while trying to ask Geralt if he also feels the same way...
Sadly, Geralt doesn't quite get it; likely because he's also romantically and sexually attracted to Yennefer and, when he loses her, instinctively throws all his own hurt and heartbreak at Jaskier - blaming him for everything that (he believes) lead to that loss!
And just because the break up Jaskier experienced wasn't a romantic one doesn't make it any less devastating.
Poor loving bard was making plans for them to continue to travel and enjoy their time together as the platonic boyfriends he believed them to be, and Geralt told him that all Jaskier had to offer him was a giant pile of shit that he kept shoveling his way!
There's been a lot of alterous and/or queeplatonic subtext since Season 1 (that could also read as romantic, but should never be used as evidence or proof of romance if we were talking about a real life partnership).
And, while I do acknowledge that queerbaiting has been messing with our ability to perceive and appreciate those relationships as such, I do think that, canonically establishing Jaskier as a sapioromantic, at the very least, clearly addresses the reasons why Jaskier was behaving in such an amorous way with Geralt without being romantically in love with him.
For once, instead of mocking the queer audience for "having mistakenly read two same-gender close friends as being romantically attracted to each other" (while doing as much as they can to suggest romance to keep them hooked!), they are canonically establishing Jaskier as a sapioromantic, with him experiencing his first romantic crush with Radovid.
The show's dialogue is telling people on the aromantic spectrum that "Yes, Jaskier is one of you. He gets squishes, meshes, lushes, and can desire a queerplatonic relationship with a best friend he's got strong platonic feelings for also."
You can speak to your queer audience, without fully risking alienating your non-queer audience, by simply using clues, and a language that your queer audience understands.
And I will forever be grateful to Joey Batey for having understood it, and having so skillfully managed it.
As someone who is ambiamorous, panalterous, panromantic, demisexual, and pansexual, all the nuances and details he brought to Jaskier's queerness was a pure delight, and spoke to me in a way that no TV show character has ever spoken to me before (except, perhaps, in "Sense8", but the whole show itself was about what it meant to love and be human, with main characters sharing a supernatural psychic bond making them more likely to open themselves to all the queer forms of love... whereas shows like "The Witcher" is of a more mainstream fantasy show).
I wish I had a way to contact him to tell him thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for breaking gender boundaries, and "platonic vs romantic" boundaries with Jaskier, and offering us a character that is one of the purest, most beautiful, and most perfectly balanced love song to queerness that one could have written and sung about!
Jaskier is a queer representation groundbreaking masterpiece on a show such as this.
That representation is as intelligent, insightful, and sharp as Prince Radovid himself.
And Extraordinarily Things said more about Jaskier's feelings, issues, and vulnerabilities than any piece of dialogue ever could have, and had me weeping my eyes out by the time Jaskier sang about how he finally felt like he was enough...
Well done Joey, you absolutely brilliant and deeply empathetic real-life bard and poet, well done...
#Jaskier#The Witcher#Sapioromantic Jaskier#Pan Jaskier#Pansexual Jaskier#Panromantic Jaskier#Greyromantic Jaskier#Sapioromantism#Greyromantism#Panromantism#Pansexuality#Queer representation#LGBTQ+#Queer#Joey Batey is a genius#Please ask him to guide you in addressing Ciri's bisexuality as well!#Queerplatonic#queerplatonic relationship#My posts#My thoughts
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Happy #PanVisibilityDay! Let's work together to hold space between and beyond the gay/straight binary. 💗💛💙
#pan visibility day#pansexual visibility day#bi pan solidarity#pansexual#pansexuality#panromantic#panromantism#pan pride#pansexual pride#panromantic pride
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LGBTQ+ Bingo Sheets
#lgbtq community#lgbt pride#lgbtqia#bingo#panro ace#pansexual#panromantism#panromantic#asexual#aspec#greyromantic#transgender#gay pride#gay#sapphic#wlw#lesbian pride
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With pancake or no Pancake?
Happy Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day!!
Did you know?
You can request for the no-pancake version if you don't like the pancake joke before checking out your order at irenekohstudio
#pansexual pride#pansexual#panromantic#pansexualvisibilityday#pan pride#pansexual pride flag#queer#panromantism#cuteart#catartist#catart#lgbt art#lgbtart#adorable#pansexuality
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Let's be real,
Bisexuality-Pansexuality-Asexuality
ARE in fact the most neglected and misunderstood sexualities. And don't get me started on how misunderstood the Biro-Panro-Aro people are.
People REALLY gotta stop excluding us from the Queer community.
#also lets not talk about the stereotypes they make about us#im enraged#bisexual#pansexual#asexual#bisexuality#pansexuality#asexuality#biromantic#panromantic#aromantic#biromantism#panromantism#aromantism#pride#queer community#queer pride#pride month
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Our sibling's subtle ways of expressing their romantic orientation.
(The face is blurred to protect privacy)
-co-host & persecutor-caretaker
#lgbtq#lgbtqia#queer#lgbtqai#lgbtq positivity#panromantic#panromantism#pansexual#hair clips#queer pride#panromantic pride#pansexual pride#romantic orientation#sexuality#older sibling#older brother#little sibling#siblings#family
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Airglow Panrose
An addition to the skyset pride series, my take on the panrose flag and an alternative to use rather than a replacement.
those who identify as both pansexual and panromantic may identify as panrose! this is inclusive of those under the aspec and mspec umbrellas, regarding queer attraction in some way/extent to people regardless of gender, with or without preferences.
Dawnlight Panromantic
An addition to the skyset pride series, my take on the panromantic flag and an alternative to use rather than a replacement.
a flag for those who identify as panromantc, including aspec panro's, mspec etc. one's attraction towards people regardless of gender, with or without preference, is in some way/extent romantic in nature!
Dusklight Pansexual
An addition to the skyset pride series, my take on the pansexual flag and an alternative to use rather than a replacement.
a flag for those who identify as pansexual, including aspec and mspec folk. one's attraction towards people regardless of gender, with or without preference, is in some way/extent sexual in nature!
tagging for reach/notes: feel free to be asked to be removed from or added to the taglist
@archival-arrival, @acetrappolaswife, @iloveleeks2, @queersrus, @kitti-coining, @polyfragmentedchaos, @zelle-exe, @bi-lesbian, @gender-mailman, @delightfulweepingwillows
[id: a green to white gradient box with a gif of candles and witchcraft tools on a shelf in the background and dark green text on top of the image reading "dni if transx/transid, radqueer, terf. more in pinned post. free to use/identify so long as you respect my boundaries. exclusive terms/flags are non-debatable". :end id]
#flag design#flag blog#pansexual#pansexual pride#panrose#airglow panrose#dusklight pansexual#pansexual flag#panrose flag#pan flag#pan pride#panromantic#panromantism#pansexuality#panromantic pride#skyset pride#skyset pan#pride flag#flag coining#lgbtq flags#pride#pride flags#my flags#mod cass#dawnlight panromantic#queer#lgbt pride
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Mfs be gatekeeping labels and fighting over flags as if all this shit wasn’t made by randos on tumblr
#humble yourselves#pan#panromantism#panromantic#pansexual#bi#biseuxal#biromantic#bi romance#biromantism#trans#transgender#lgbtq#queer#transmasc#gay shit#trans ftm#gay#asexual#pride flags#flag discourse#microlabels#xenogender#xeno coining#mogai#mogai label#mogai identity#gender#neopronoun#neogender
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Sometimes I question if I might be gay because of how strong my preference to men is but then I remember Double Trouble, Lois Lane, Nina the Killer, and Jessica Drew exist and I get a wake up call
#lgbtq#panromantic#panromantism#yes i have a preference to men#i'm boy crazy#creepypasta#nina the killer#my adventures with superman#arcane violet#arcane#she ra and the princesses of power#double trouble she ra#jessica drew#across the spiderverse
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pansexual panromantic flag !!
!!!!!!!!!!!! people on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrums can use this flag, it was made by an acespec arospec thing !!!!!!!!!!!!
colour meanings (top to bottom):
romantic attraction to masculine people
romantic attraction to androgynous people
romantic attraction to feminine people
sexual attraction to masculine people
sexual attraction to androgynous people
sexual attraction to feminine people
#if you try to start discourse i will immediately put you in the brazen bull#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#pan#pansexual#pansexuality#panromantic#panromantism#flag#flags#new flag#new flags#combo flag#combo flags#combination flag#combination flags
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youtube
"My number-one priority, which I said to her, was just to make sure that we were doing it right and that we did it sensitively with a care and a kinship, and I wanted to avoid all kinds of stereotyping, really.
So there was an awful lot of script rewrites and things like that. We deleted whole scenes in favour of songs. So I brought in a new song, and I said: 'Can we just cut all this dialogue, and I can just sing something?'"
- Joey Batey, Digital Spy interview
The first time I watched that scene, when Jaskier started singing that last part to Prince Radovid:
Of them, I’ve had enough.
With you, I have enough.
With you, I am enough.
I am…
I am enough...
I literally started crying. Because, although it's played for laughs, since the beginning of the show, Jaskier's often been portrayed like this "annoying character" that tries too hard to be liked, wanted, and involved in his friends' lives... to find his "forever home"...
But often, he just gets punched in the gut, blamed for everything going wrong in other people's lives, gets told off when he tries to introduce himself or be included in moments where people are there to offer each other comfort (but apparently want none from him) as a result...
Season 2 started to make some progress on that, with Yennefer and Geralt allowing themselves to show more vulnerability around him, and telling him that his help his needed...
Season 3 saw characters that are usually so quick to dismiss him and treat him harshly (ex: Yarpen Zigrin) actually thank him, when they realize how selfless Jaskier can be, and the risks he is willing to take to help others (even those that treat him like an annoying nuisance)...
But still, he'd gotten used, at some point, to being "barely tolerated" rather than "wanted". And his "break up" with Geralt broke his heart and hurt him so much that, although forgiven, I believe it did leave some scars...
As someone with ADHD (that has a tendency to get overexcited about a bunch of things without noticing that it doesn't interest people, impulsively interrupt them with my thoughts, follow them around, and "impose my presence" without meaning to) and associated rejection sensitive dysphoria, Jaskier's behavior and emotional responses are something very easy for me to identify with.
And having him sing "With you I am enough. I am enough," hit me right in the feels, in the most cathartic way!
Prince Radovid is the first person we met on the show, I think, that was shown as being immediately happy to meet Jaskier, wished to adopt that puppy and bring him home right away, saw him as being irresistible and special, envied Geralt for having Jaskier as a friend/companion, couldn't get enough of his singing, and listened when he talked to the things he didn't say...
Knowing that it is Joey himself that just decided to basically show up to work with that song he'd written, and ask if he could sing it instead of using the dialogue in the script, just ended up offering yet another layer to that scene.
When hearing him sing:
"It’s not a want, it’s a need, it is paying no heed to what others say to sing."
now, I can't help but feel like there's some kind of "meta" dimension to those lyrics, as the actor chose to sing what he - as the person embodying Jaskier - wanted to sing, rather than what had been scripted and what others would have wanted him to sing.
That song feels deeply personal, born out of a very intimate understanding of the character, and how being treated the way that he used to be treated would have emotionally and psychologically affected him.
I'll be 100% honest, when Joey was talking about the sapioromantic connection between the characters, and explaining how Radovid wore a mask, was a bit of a mystery to him, and how Jaskier would become fascinated and wish to figure him out...
...I was genuinely concerned that they'd somehow manage to "romanticize" yet another toxic relationship, where the two characters would constantly be trying to outsmart and play mind games with each other.
But that's not it at all. They are both seeing what they try so hard to hide from others. Prince Radovid's environment is highly toxic and dysfunctional (as Jaskier aptly described, he's stuck in a vipers' den) - knowing too much, or not enough - can mean life or death for him.
Whereas Jaskier tries so hard to meet expectations and be what others need or want him to be - give voice to other people's issues, stories and problems - that he all but becomes invisible to others himself as a process.
Sure, they know his name and his songs. But they don't know Jaskier's own soul or story. He fades away in the background for the benefit of others.
They are both trying to figure each other out not because they are people that enjoy indulging in court intrigues, manipulating others, and dominating "the game" for their own gain...
They are trying to emotionally connect with the good, beautiful, and vulnerable parts of themselves that they have been forced to hide from the rest of the world to survive.
They are highly insightful empathetic individuals using their gifts on each other to empower each other, rather than malignant narcissists using their perceptiveness to control each other.
This is an extremely refreshing and healthy relation dynamic that I was sort of hoping for - since Joey put so much emphasis on how important it was for him to offer a relationship that may be flawed, but handled sensitively and carefully without resorting to stereotypes - but this totally went above and beyond my expectations!
If Joey Batey himself isn't queer, then he's got such a capacity for love and emotional empathy that he's apparently able to care about queer issues with the intensity and insightfulness of someone that has experienced them.
The fact that he's using queer labels and sub-categories that are often lesser known by people outside of the LGBTQ+ community to describe Jaskier's sexuality (sapioromantic, panromantic or pansexual...), as well as talking about issues affecting non-monosexuals, such as the desire to avoid bisexual erasure, brings some much needed attention towards the richness and diversity of the LGBTQ+ community!
I sincerely couldn't be happier, or more grateful...
Apparently, there are plans to further explore Ciri's bisexuality, too, with the introduction of Mistle in Season 3!
Here's hoping they'll be using Jaskier as "queer consultant" for the other queer romances on the show...
Also, the relationship between our sweet Bi!Ciri and her weird Pan!Uncle Jaskier means everything to me...
I'm trying to remember if Ciri has been exposed to any models of queer romances in her life...
I mean, most unions between princes and princesses, or kings and queens, are often political alliances. They might have same gender consorts, but I'm not sure that this is something they would have educated younger princesses about, or made very "public".
I sort of want to have her catch Jaskier and Radovid while they are kissing at some point, and realize that the innocent crush she had on Triss in Season 2 is something that is perfectly normal, and that she shouldn't be afraid nor ashamed of that part of herself.
Maybe even go to him and start asking him questions about it... That would be a very thoughtful and sensitive way to explore what being queer means in the world of the Witcher; having Ciri learn, directly from Jaskier, about the potential risks associated with being in an openly gay relationship.
There would really be such an opportunity for the two of them to continue to bond over something like this, and Ciri would know that she's got someone that genuinely loves her and that she can trust to support her and the choices she makes regarding her love life in the future, no matter what.
I can see so many possibilities, though I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic about this (since if they went that route, it would just seem too good to be true!)...
#Jaskier#Pan Jaskier#Pansexual Jaskier#The Witcher#Radskier#Pansexuality#Radovid#OTP: You Learned My Song#Extraordinary Things#Panromantic Jaskier#Panromantism#Sapioromantic Jaskier#Sapioromantism#Bisexual Ciri#Bisexuality#LGBTQ+#The Witcher Spoilers#Queer representation#done right...#Thus far at least!#My Posts#My Stuff#My Thoughts#Videos#Feels!#All the freaking feels!#Love and Diversity win!#Best way to conclude Pride Month!
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Ace recommendations
Welcome to ace recommendations, where I will recommend pieces of media that i have read/watched that either is about being asexual, has an asexual character in it, or is created by someone who is asexual.
Today's recommendation is Friends With Benefits, a slice of life/comedy webcomic by Nezkovsou, an asexual comic creator.
Friends with benefits follows Eri as they navigate the dating world, trying to form a meaningful relationship, but always having difficulties because of his identity. He ends up making a ton of friends in this comic, who all go on wacky adventures to try and help Eri get with the barista he likes.
There are a lot of lgbtq+ characters in this comic. And a few ace ones too.
The main character Eri is genderfluid, and panromantic asexual. He works as a graphic designer. He's kind, outgoing, and anxious.
Tae Min is another major character in the comic. He is questioning demisexual and demiromantic. He currently works as a barista but aspires to be a veterinarian. He is kind, intelligent when it comes to academics, but a bit dumb when it comes to feelings.
Rohan Sarkar is an asexual, aromantic trans man. He has a love for sports, especially boxing. He is protective of his friends, often ready to fight someone for them.
Here's a few content warnings: queerphobia, creepy men who don't respect boundaries (Eri always gets away from these men, so it can be uncomfortable, but it doesn't go that far.)
This webcomic can be found on Webtoon. While it is completed, there is a sequel that is currently out called Friends with Solitude, which hosts a new asexual main character.
#ace#asexual#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtqia+#asexuality#ace pride#asexual pride#lgbtq pride#acespec#demi#demisexuality#demisexual#demiromantic#demiromanticism#panromantic#pansexual#pan#pansexuality#panromantism#webtoon#webcomic#webtoon friends with benefits
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And then there was one
One of my two (2) straight friends just came out as pan. When will the crippling straight shortages end 😔
#gay#lgbt#lgbtq#pansexual#panromantic#panromantism#pansexuality#pan#straight people#the gays#gay people#coming out#out of the closet#lgbtqia
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*casually appears on your screen, spreading the gayness around like a good plague* hi guys I’m panromantic, aegosexual and genderfluid :D
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can you make a term where your a lesbian but also pan fictoromantic
Fictoromantic Panlesbian!!
Fictoromantic Panlesbian - a term for when one is homosexual (lesbian) and panromantic fictoromantic
#xenogender#xenogenders#mogai#pro mogai#xenogender coining#xenogender community#mogai safe#mogai terms#mogai friendly#fictoromantic#fictoromantism#pan lesbian#panromantic#panromantism#lesbian#lesbian pride#lesbian flag#lesbianism
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I’m panromantic asexual. I feel romantic attraction. I don’t feel sexual attraction. I just want to be seen
I found a comic that makes me feel seen tho! I found it on Webtoon. Idk if it’s on any other sites (even Tumblr lol) but the protagonist is panromantic asexual and I find their experience very relatable
They’re also genderfluid and tho I can’t relate to that specifically it’s still pretty nice representation
So if you are also asexual but also some form of alloromantic, give it a read :3
#asexual#asexuality#asexual pride#panromantic#panromantism#panromantic asexual#panromantic ace#genderfluid#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#lgbtqia#lgbt#lgbtq#webtoon#reading recs#reading recommendations
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