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transmascissues · 5 months

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conversations i’ve had with my mom this week about top surgery that will make my brain melt if i try too hard to make sense of them:

i was talking to her about how i might have to extend my medical leave because i probably won’t be ready to work at 4 weeks. she told me she didn’t expect my recovery to take this long. this is the same woman who, before i got top surgery, told me horror stories about someone she knew who had complications for months after having a mastectomy. was she just making shit up? was she lecturing me about things she was actively still in denial about? i can’t even begin to guess.

i mentioned to her that i’ve been posting about my experiences with recovery and she seemed…offended? by the idea that i was talking about it publicly. i shouldn’t be surprised because she’s the one who once told me the online trans community is “cult-like” and that she thought i was only getting top surgery because the trans people in my computer convinced me. the thing is, she’s also constantly asking me how my recovery timeline compares to other people so i…don’t know how she expects me to get that information if she also thinks talking to people about my recovery is bad.

she was asking me about how my incisions are healing and she told me to describe how they look to her…but “not anything that’ll make me cry”. do i know what she meant by that? nope! i can only assume the right move was to not describe anything too in-depth, even if it meant not including important details because they might upset her. priorities, am i right?

she asked me if, having been through the worst of recovery and knowing what it’s like, i would still make the same choice to get top surgery. obviously i said i would. she then proceeded to keep saying things like “really? are you sure? even after all this? you know you don’t have to say that, right?” as if it was completely impossible to believe i don’t regret this. why did she ask if she didn’t really want to hear the answer? god only knows.

we found out how much my insurance paid for the part of my surgery costs that were covered and it turns out they paid way more than any of the estimates i was given. my mom kept saying “that’s a lot of money you know” over and over again, as if i didn’t know that an amount of money high enough to buy a small house is a lot. i think she was trying to make some kind of point. what point? idk man.

0/10 totally incomprehensible interactions. i don’t even know what to make of them. i think now that the surgery is done and she can’t fight it anymore, she’s gone from being overtly ridiculous about it to just bringing the absolute weirdest vibes to every conversation about it.

#i hope y’all are enjoying the random updates on my moms bullshit #bc im sure this is FAR from the end of it #top surgery adventures #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs #top surgery

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lucabyte · 22 days

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obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask

also your art is amazing

Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!

and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...

I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:

This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...

My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.

It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)

The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)

And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.

but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.

Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)

Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.

As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.

Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)

This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)

Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.

Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.

But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.

I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.

*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍

**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....

Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.

And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.

Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?

I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.

#PHEW THIS IS LONG. i wrote some extra footnotes and tidied it up a bit. but uh. here you go! my personal headcanon baseline for postcanon.#i could probably elaborate more but that would get unwieldy. like i have opinions on loop's dynamics w each party member but. LONG POST...#lucabytetalks #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #isat loop #isiloop #sloopis #WONT be tagging everyone thats absurd. loop centric post though with a chunk about nille at the end #isat act 6 spoilers

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krirebr · 5 months

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For MTT: what if Ransom was actually looking forward to the arrangement, sick of dating and the party scene. When he sees reader it’s love at first sight for him at least.

Chelsea! This was a great ask, but answering it was hard for me. Maybe because MTT has so fully taken over my brain and trying to change it just a little tripped all sorts of internal booby traps for me.

Regardless, I was able to come up with something. Here is an alternate version of their first meeting where Ransom isn't a complete dick from his POV. But because I'm me, I, of course, can't just let these two be happy right away. Even in this alternate, alternate universe.

And somehow, even though this fought me the whole way, it's still well over 1k words. I don't know how.

No Way of Knowing

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Warnings: Explicit language, references to forced marriage and forced pregnancy, angst

Ransom was furious when Harlan and Linda told him. Absolutely livid. How dare they dictate his life like this! Yes, most of his friends had already entered into similar arrangements years ago, but he was doing fine the way he was!

And they were so fucking smug when they told him. ‘Oh, it’ll be so good for you.’ ‘It’s about time you settled down and joined the real world.’ Fuck that.

But. When he got home and had a chance to think calmly about it, without his mother’s resting smug face glaring at him, what was he doing, really? He was inching ever closer to forty and sleeping with random socialites just wasn’t as fun as it used to be. Almost all of his friends were married, so he didn’t really see much of them anymore. He was kind of lonely if he let himself admit it. Would this really be so terrible, if he did it for himself and not for them?

The pregnancy clause was admittedly awful but if you took the narrow timeline away for a minute, he could actually see wanting to be a father. He’d do it right, wouldn’t treat his kids the way his parents had treated him. This didn’t have to be the worst thing.

So he spent the next week going through the binder they’d given him, did what he could to get to know you. You were young, which made him a little nervous, but it wasn’t the largest age gap he’d seen in one of these things, and you were still very much an adult. You seemed intelligent (your fucking test scores were in there, which just seemed like a wild invasion of privacy) and sweet. You had a dog, which wasn’t ideal, but at least it was small, so he hoped he’d be able to tolerate it.

All in all, you didn’t seem like the typical society fare that Linda liked to parade in front of him. He dared to hope that that would hold true once he met you. That opportunity came faster than he was ready for. Just a week after he’d signed the papers, he was sitting in a restaurant, waiting for you. He already had his Macallan 18, trying to get some liquid courage before you appeared.

You were a few minutes early and seemed surprised but pleased that he was already there. He stood up as you approached the table, partly to be polite and partly to get a better look at you. You were beautiful. Gorgeous. It was shocking, really, the way you took his breath away. That’d never happened before.

“Hi,” you said softly as you stood opposite him and extended your hand, then gave him your name.

“Hi,” he said, somewhat stupidly. He swallowed and tried to pull himself together. “I’m Ransom,” he said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” you said, cautiously, as you sat across from him and he sat back down. “Have you ordered yet?”

He shook his head, “Just a drink. I’m ready to order food whenever, but I’m in no rush.”

You nodded and after you briefly looked at the menu, he signaled the server over. He couldn’t stop watching you as you ordered. You asked a lot of questions about their wine selection. It seemed like you knew what you were talking about. He found himself wanting you to tell him all about it, how you knew so much, why you liked it. He just wanted to listen to you.

Once the server was gone, you looked over at him warily. You were so nervous. He wanted to reach across the table and gently hold your hand, but he wasn’t sure how it’d be received. “So,” you said carefully, “I guess we should talk about how this is going to go.”

He nodded, a little disappointed that you wanted to get down to business straight away. He wanted to just talk, get to know you, take some time, but he supposed that he couldn’t blame you for wanting to get the hard parts out of the way. “I have a house,” he said, “just outside Boston. I think you’ll like it. It’s big, in a good neighborhood, quiet. But I’m not sure how suitable it will be for starting a family. That’s something we’ll have to talk about once you’ve seen it.”

You looked at him, shocked. “Start a family? Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself? We’ve only just met.”

The bottom dropped out of his stomach. Oh no. “Didn’t they tell you? You didn’t read the contract?” There was no way. They couldn’t have been that cruel.

He could see the panic rising in your eyes. “They didn’t give me any time to read it,” you said, your voice wavering. “What didn’t they tell me?”

Fucking shit. How could they have done that to you? And now he had to be the one to break the news. He cleared his throat and tried to speak calmly, gently. “There's a clause in the contract. We’ll need to conceive a child within the first year.”

“What.” you whispered.

He didn’t say anything, wanting to give you time to process. And he was afraid that if he tried to speak right now, his voice would come out far too angry. He needed to find out who was responsible for this, who had treated you so terribly.

“A baby,” you breathed. “With you? Right away.”

“They should have told you. Talked to you about it. I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t have found out this way.” He wasn’t sure you heard him. You just stared straight ahead.

That, of course, was when the server brought out the food. The sound of your plate hitting the table right in front of you seemed to bring you back to the here and now. You looked down at it and shook your head and then looked back at him. “I don’t think I’m very hungry,” you said.

“That’s fine. We–”

You stood up, interrupting him. “I’m sorry,” you said, both your voice and body very stiff, “but I need to go.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, desperate to get you to change your mind, to fix this. “I’d really like you to stay, so we can have a chance to talk.”

You shook your head. “No,” you said, your voice resolute. “I can’t tonight. Maybe– Maybe we can talk another time.”

And then you turned around and walked away, leaving Ransom reeling. He would spend the rest of his meal thinking about all the ways he would make this up to you, earn your trust, win you over.

Tag lists are open

@stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv@texmexdarling @ladyvenera @she-wolf09231982 @citronbun @rebeccapineapple @alexakeyloveloki @dancer3205 @i-can-do-this-all-dayy @thecrandle @lokislady82 @thedazzlingburglar @23skidoosteven @arbesa-mind @samfreakingwinchester @blackhawkfanatic @emerald-writes

#krismas party #ask kris #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #reader insert #knives out #arranged marriage au #drabble #ce characters #chris evans fanfiction #kris wrote something #more than this

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picnokinesis · 4 months

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flux adjacent fic recs

in media res by wreckageofstars (3k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: “Well,” she said. “Now you know what the mattress is for.” Dan shifted. “And the trampoline?” “Best not ask about the trampoline.” //I think this is probably the first Dan pov fic I ever read, and it’s absolutely brilliant. This author gets the character voices down so perfectly it’s unreal, and the whole thing is just so wonderful to see from Dan’s outsider perspective. It’s set in the immediate aftermath of Once, Upon Time, and it does a fantastic job of exploring the impact of what happened in that episode – both from a whump perspective and an emotional one. Angsty, but also funny in the worst kind of way – someone please go give Yaz a break, she REALLY needs one. Anyway, it’s great, everyone go read it right now.

Hearts of Stone by weirdpug (previously xhonia) (1k, 1 chapter, thoschei) summary: The Doctor loses herself. The Master finds her. //Ohhh this one this one, it’s SO awesome – it’s one of those fics that does really cool things with the formatting? Which works great here, because it’s a weeping angel!13 fic and wow, wow! Extremely awesome indeed, and just beautifully written – the prose is just so full of character, even when the Doctor is losing herself and it’s so well done.

Divination by WalkerLister (6k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: “There was a name for someone similar to me once. They called them the Valeyard. You can call me that, if you like. I quite like it, it’s suitably eerie. Little bit of drama never hurt anyone.” //Right, so we all remember what happened when War of the Sontarans aired…we got that ‘next time’ trailer of Once Upon Time…and all collectively lost our minds over the inverted dark coat. Since then, I feel like everyone has been finding really creative ways to get it into fanfics, and this is a wonderful example. And, well, if the promise of dark coat!13 wasn’t enough, this fic is just an absolutely fascinating look at the concept of the Valeyard in the context of the fobwatch from Flux, but focused on Yaz and her relationship with/perception of the Doctor. It’s such a good concept and so so wonderfully done! (also, if you’re a fan of thasmin, this author has a ton of stuff, so definitely go check it all out! For the less thasmin-inclined folks, I highly recommend Ipesity, which is one of my favourite post-TTC fics)

three points where two lines meet by Ymae (4k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: The Doctor tries to get those memories back, and breaks herself, bit by bit. //Oh man. This fic. I still remember when this one first posted and hoooooo boy, it is a hell of a gut-punch and absolutely wrenched my heart right out of my chest but HHHHHHHHH wow!! WOW. Genuinely, I think this fic rewrote my brain a little bit. It's set in the immediate aftermath of Once, Upon Time where the Doctor makes some very unwise decisions about trying to tug at her timeline and it's absolutely incredible. Very angsty, very whumpy, and full of a HUGE amount of the Doctor messing with timelines and very visceral, tangible descriptions of her timesense. It is such a treat, guys. And if you like this one and want something with similar vibes, I also highly recommend this post-flux fic by the same author!

Sheer Poetry! by Papapaldi (57k, 5 chapters, gen) summary: Trapped within her own mind, the Doctor travels through an impossible house, with everyone she has ever been locked inside. Her body is an unresponsive, useless bag of flesh somewhere far and away in reality. The part of her brain that she knows, where her past resides, sits somewhere else entirely within the old machine. The Ravagers eat, buried memories beckon, and the Doctor's faith is shaken to its core. She will never be the same – but that's what she's all about, right? Incredible change. //oh my days. THIS FIC, guys - look, I see the word count, I know, I know. This fic is a serious undertaking, but like so many things in life it is soooooo so worth it. Bucket loads of absolutely ASTOUNDING imagery, more references to Lungbarrow and Timewyrm Revelation than you can shake a stick at, BUT you don't need to have read those stories at all to enjoy this absolutely fantastic saga (put it like this - I've not read those books, and I had a whale of a time). Incredibly poetic, a little nonsensical in the best kind of way (it IS a mindscape fic) but startlingly funny and so beautifully in character. I laughed, I cried. This fic is just a love letter to everything Doctor Who, weaving all of canon into this beautiful, cohesive tapestry. I highly recommend. (and, if you're hungry for more and want tpotd content, there's an excellent sequel as well)

every step i choose to take (begins to set the world aflame) by SleepyMaddy (12k, 1 chapter, thoschei) summary: In a spaceport lost in a remote quadrant of interstellar space, a Doctor who doesn’t know herself anymore runs into a Master who doesn’t know himself yet // Ok so the sheer concept of this one ALONE is absolutely brilliant – the Doctor, escaping from the Division and half out of her head, bumps into the Master, who’s not long regenerated from Missy. And, guys. It’s fascinating. Seeing the Master right at the start, before he finds out everything that comes to define him in this era, and then having him meet a version of the Doctor who is quite a lot further along than him and just completely out of it? It’s like catnip to me, guys. And, of course, it’s all helped by the fact that the writing is absolutely brilliant – the characters are just absolutely spot on, which is quite an incredible feat seeing as they are both in very different places to where we see them in the show, yet they still manage to ring true throughout the whole thing. And also the mindscape imagery? The psychic whump? The emotional gut-punch that is the entire fic? Absolutely unparalleled. (also, if you’re a spydoc fan? Just help yourself out and read this author’s entire set of works, because it’s all fantastic)

see me bare my teeth for you by picnokinesis (16k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: “Do you know your mission?” //This is a bit of a cheeky self-rec, but, in my defence, if you're looking for flux fics, then I think you'll enjoy this one. I wrote it in the week after Village of the Angels aired, and it's basically all my thoughts and theories about what was going to happen in Survivors of the Flux thrown into a 16k oneshot. I was...mostly wrong HAHA but I’m still really proud of it. If you like division!doctor, then this one is for you

we're only dreaming (tell me who i am) by SpaceBetweenGalaxies (2k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: more the-memory-house-is-Lungbarrow clowning //ok, so if you were like me when flux was airing and absolutely lost your MIND over the illogical house which was a bit too on the nose regarding Lungbarrow related things, then THIS FIC IS FOR YOU. Absolutely brilliantly done, with some gorgeous imagery that I'm still thinking about to this day, and just a wonderfully unsettling exploration of the Doctor and how she picks at those cut off memories in the aftermath of the Flux

the stars are bound to change by emptypockets (9k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: Being trisected across the universe has unexpected consequences for the Doctor, and Yaz is tasked with the responsibility of keeping her awake. //ohhhhhh this fic is so wonderful!! It's that weird sweet spot of 'soft angst', where it hits where it hurts but at the same time the whole thing feels like it's wrapping you in a warm blanket. Augh!! Such a lovely portrayal of the Doctor and Yaz's dynamic - I adore how this author writes these two so much. An absolutely lovely (but angsty!) character exploration, with a healthy dose of whump and sleepiness on the side. What more could you want?

Everything by rowanthestrange (24k, 13 chapters, thasmin) summary: In which Yaz wants to know everything, and the Doctor finally wants that too. //Ok, so full disclosure, I don't read that much thasmin, but this fic, guys. It's just gorgeous. A beautifully written exploration of Yaz and her relationship with the Doctor in the aftermath of Flux, which explores the years Yaz spent in the past and how that changed her; the Doctor grappling with her identity issues and how that's changed her; as well as all sorts of other wonderful things besides. Another fic that had tears streaming down my face (the TARDIS chapter got me...). It's such a poignant, emotional fic, and it's very focused on character in a way that I really adore. If you like thasmin, this is an absolute must-read. If you're not a fan of thasmin, I recommend it anyway (- signed: a thoschei shipper) because it's just such a brilliant portrayal of these two.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #dw fic #yasmin khan #the doctor #the master #jodie whittaker #thoschei #spydoc #sacha dhawan #thasmin #fic #fic rec #doctor who flux #doctor who series 13 #dwedit #taka edits #feel free to add more recs in the notes if you like!!#share the love!!#apologies for the wrong username on the hearts of stone one #because i made that edit so long ago that the author changed their name KSKSKSKSKS #but my editing programme has updated and completely changed??#so the settings I used to make that. are. not there anymore RIP ME #BUT AHHHHHH YES i've been meaning to make another one of these for AGES!!#anyway forgive me if i missed anyone's fics!!#honestly half the challenge is finding fics that like....i can find a screencap that WORKS for the story #which is a challenge in itself #there were a couple of others i also wanted to rec but the TITLES WERE TOO LONG #GUYS #like i know im part of the problem i KNOW

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iridiss · 10 months

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(this mostly takes place in my au’s timeline, but) To compliment my earlier post about Garroth:

Laurance’s demeanor completely shifts after he becomes a Shadow Knight. Before he was bright, jovial, and very playful, you could always count on him to make you laugh. But after his death, getting him to laugh the way he used to would be considered a miracle.

He’s full-on depressed. He struggles from a form of C-PTSD due to what his time in the Nether put him through. He’s still just as gentle and kind and loving as he was before, but his old light is gone. His best days are still weighed down by an afternoon spent low, tired, and empty, and his worst days are rife with panic attacks and paranoia.

So Garroth becomes pretty perfect company for Laurance during this time.

Laurance often flinches at unexpected touch, it shocks him pretty badly, due to the extensive physical torture he went through. A lot of physical touch with him has now been associated with a fear-based adrenaline response—a trauma response. Garroth finds out about this pretty quickly.

Garroth is a very gentle man. He’s the kind of guy you could find cradling an injured bird in his big, meaty hands, and he’d never hurt it, he’d be as delicate and careful as a surgeon. So little by little, he rewrites Laurance’s brain by changing his association with physical touch, from pain, to gentle, pleasant, warm affection. He takes care of him. It’s like he becomes the emotional support golden retriever to his cheetah of nerves lol

He notices the small, new scars on Laurance’s face, so later that night he’d try to rest a hand on his cheek. Laurance would be tense and wary at first, but he wouldn’t push him away. So Garroth would start to softly rub his skin with his thumb, speaking to him all quiet and soothing, until Laurance leans into the touch and closes his eyes. He would remember the man he knew and loved before, who he knew he could trust. Sometimes you just…forget all of that, when you’ve been through a lot.

Garroth cups his face with his other hand. He’d keep his hand still for another moment, testing his reaction and checking in with him to make sure the touch is okay, and once Laurance gives him the a-okay, he’d caress his face and give him a soft kiss on the top of his head. He’d tell him that he loves him, very much. Laurance whispers it back, voice wavering and weak. They would linger there for a while.

In the beginning, Laurance would spend his nights keeping distance from Garroth and Aphmau, when before, the three of them used to regularly sleep in the same bed. He says that since he’s an undead Shadow Knight now, his body doesn’t need to sleep, so he’ll make himself useful and stand guard, keeping watch for the whole night. Plus, it’s probably too dangerous for something like him to be trusted around them at night. They protest, saying they know their Laurance would never hurt them, but he puts his foot down and insists that Shad would, if he got control of his mind while they were asleep. It could put them in serious trouble. He fights them on it hard enough that the two relent and let him stand guard outside.

They know he’s doing it to isolate himself, to keep them at arms length. They worry about him.

After a while though, he’d start to come back to them. He’d go to Garroth first.

(Garroth and Laurance, being Aphmau’s 24/7 bodyguards, would absolutely get their own rooms and living space added on to the Aphmau family house-now-a-mansion. There’s no way they can feasibly live in the Guard Tower on the other side of town and sleep there every night while Aphmau is left alone to be perfectly assassinated by the hundreds of night-dwelling Shadow Knights and creatures after her head. The woman has a massive blinking red target on her back, there’s no way she sleeps alone with no one but Zoe and the kids living in the house with her)

It’s likely the isolation pushing him to the brink that would make him crack. Without Garroth’s frequent gestures of affection and reassurance that “he can always come to him if he needs anything, even if he feels ashamed about it, Garroth’s doors are always open no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT,” he would probably just run away into the woods and cry under a tree somewhere when his thoughts and flashbacks get too loud to bear. But because of the support he’d been showing him the past few weeks, he does the unthinkable and caves in.

Garroth would be sleeping in his own separate bedroom when he’d wake up from the sound of someone else entering his quarters. He’d jump to sit up and confront the intruder, but then he’d stop at the sight of Laurance already climbing into bed. “Do you mind?” He would whisper, and any Defense Reflex at the shadowy stranger appearing in his bedroom would melt away at the tone of his quiet, quiet voice and the broken look in Laurance’s eyes. “No, no, of course I don’t mind, is everything alright?” He’d catch his breath and ask. “Yeah, it-…it’s fine, I just-…don’t like being alone with my thoughts tonight, that’s all.” Garroth would make room for Laurance to sleep next to him. He wonders if this would be the first time Laurance had slept since his return. “Well, you won’t be alone anymore,” he’d smile. Laurance would give a low, quiet whisper, “Thanks, big guy.” Garroth would get settled after him, wrapping his arms around him and bringing him in for a long-missed cuddle. Laurance would let out a sigh and finally, finally relax, just letting everything wash away and be replaced with the warmth of an embrace and a kiss on his head. “…thank you.”

Laurance would fall asleep for the first time in a long time.

He would sleep for over 12 hours, totally sleeping in for hours. Garroth would let him sleep in peace—heaven only knows how rare it is for him now—and he’d eventually wake up to Garroth making him a very nice breakfast. He’s surprised and nervous over it, insisting that he doesn’t need to eat, he really didn’t have to waste their food and spice supply on him, but Garroth insists with the same gentle, warm smile he always has, and Laurance relents. It tastes great. It’s a very nice relief to have another physical sensation that’s actually pleasant, and as a sweet, personal gift for him no less. It’s a strong reminder of his humanity, and a helpful way to reshape how he thinks about his body and physical sensations.

He asks how Garroth managed to make something this good. Garroth sheepishly admits he asked Zoe (the best cook in the house, when it comes to anything but Laurance’s family specialty: seafood) for help and advice. He chuckles.

Garroth sees how much this helps his day be worlds better, so he and Aphmau conspire to create as many more moments like that as possible. They convince Laurance to make the amazing cooked fish dinner he used to make for them all the time, and they rev him up about it enough to convince him to show them and walk them through it while they watch in awe from the dining table behind him. He shows off for the first time since his disappearance, getting an inch of his confidence back. They convince him to dish up, and the happy, nostalgic memories of Meteli and his dads’ cooking nearly makes him cry.

Aphmau and Garroth share a triumphant high-five once his back is turned.

The first time Laurance feels comfortable and safe enough to be fully vulnerable and bare with Garroth, also known as the first time he takes his shirt off in front of him lol, Garroth would definitely be shocked and worried about just how many scars he has, all over his upper body. His armor covers a lot of his body from view, and whenever he’s just walking around the house in casual clothes or pajamas, Garroth couldn’t help but take notice of the fact that he’d always wear long sleeves. Old Laurance would walk around ass-naked all the time if it was legal, but ever since his death, he’s been hiding as much skin as possible, so it’s a big ass deal when he first opens up to Garroth physically. (how do they NOT have a physical relationship in canon it iS SO IMPLICIT—)

It is a MASSIVE silent sign of trust. Garroth would try his hardest to not to freak out over all the new scars, but there’s no way he’s not worrying. He’d gently trace his thumb over some of the scars on his sides. Laurance would mumble under his breath how he got them, avoiding eye contact. Garroth would want to cry for him, with how terribly empathetic and sorrowful and worried he’d be for Laurance. He asks if he can hug him, Laurance hesitates, then nods, and the two embrace. Garroth would tell him he’s so, so sorry that this happened to him, how terribly it must have hurt. Laurance starts to say, “It’s fine,” but he gets about halfway through “it’s” before he starts to cry. He’d hold on to Garroth very tightly. He’s like his rock, that he never ever ever wants to let go of again, so maybe if he holds on tight enough, it’ll burn into his brain that he’s here now, safe in the Overworld, safe in his arms, and his light, his knight in shining armor, his Garroth, will never leave. They’d spend a good few hours cradled like that, probably in bed, they’d probably lay down and just cuddle until they get called to work (Laurance tries to apologize for killing the mood, Garroth stops him mid-sentence, demanding he NEVER apologize AGAIN for having natural reactions like this. Laurance laughs and makes a tired comment about how Garroth’s not the same doormat he met years ago, and Garroth says that’s entirely thanks to him. ,,Laurance hides his face).

Hell, even the first kiss on the lips they share since his return would be a huge deal too, because of how strongly Laurance feels ashamed and scared of himself and his body. He is terrified that someone loving him will get them hurt—or worse, murdered at his own hands, and guilt over getting his loved ones killed was a big sticking point with Laurance already. He’d struggle a lot with opening up to Garroth and Aphmau at first. And of course, Garroth would end up warming him out of his shell, which, to him, would be a very strange thing to have to do for the world’s most passionate, romantic knight, but it happens between them regardless. It happens with them in all fields of their relationship.

Until soon enough, Laurance is sleeping between them again.

He really starts to feel human again, laying beside the two of them.

Garroth would keep doing everything in his power to get him back, little by little. He’d keep giving him hugs, until Laurance ends up relaxing into every single one, until he reaches the point where he wraps his arms around him and hugs him back, until eventually he’s the one reaching for it and tackling Garroth like he used to. Cuddles turn from something he’s hesitant to trust, to something incredibly healing. He holds him very, very gently in his hands, and it’s that gentleness, that unconditional kindness that never goes away, that warmth, that soft smile, that would push him back on his feet. He needs the specific way that Garroth loves and gives affection more than anything during this time in his life, and Garroth is there to give it every step of the way. After all, that’s what Laurance did for him, back when they first met. When he lost Zenix, when he lost Zane, when he was recovering from his family’s damage. Laurance teaches Garroth to finally fight back, stand up for himself, and love himself for all that he is. Then Laurance falls next, and Garroth is there to pick him back up again. He teaches him how to relax, how to trust and be vulnerable and know that he’s safe, how to be himself again. He undoes everything The Shadow Lord and Gene do to break down his individuality, he gives him back his fire and his strength. That way, when things do get bad and Shad starts to control him again, he has enough strength in him built up to say fuck no, to punch back, and make a new name for himself under The Shadow Knight Rebellion. He can stand and fight again, against the very forces that broke him, he can face them head-on and bite back, for himself, for everyone he’s ever loved, because he had someone there to pick him up in the first place.

Laurance needs Garroth. He would be a very, very different man without him. He likely would’ve given up on his humanity entirely if Garroth was never someone to come back to, considering that he’d be far too dangerous to return to Irene of all people. But it’s not just Aphmau he came back for, she’s there to support and help him too, obviously, but if it were JUST her?

He would’ve given up on everything the second he found out what he’d become. Garroth is just that kind of..beacon of a person to make even a man stuck in the darkest pits of hell believe in a second chance for himself. It becomes about more than just “Protect Irene” and more about “do it for the loves of your life that you can’t let go of no matter how hard you try. Do it for your family, even if you’ve grievously let them down, because you still love them too much to abandon them. Do it for your sons, that have suffered through enough and deserve a brighter future. Do it for your home. Everyone in the village is counting on you. Do it for what it means to you. Because there’s far more than just your knightly honor at stake here.”

They all need each other. Garroth and Laurance need each other, desperately. They can’t stay standing by themselves for too long, they need the other man to fall back on when life takes a baseball bat to their ankles. They can’t do it alone. They crumble and (literally) die when they do it alone.

Garroth and Laurance make an inseparable team.

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anulithots · 2 months

Text

Noorie's JJK analysis's/ screaming

You cannot keep me contained. My overthinking brain is buzzing.

(all sfw! This asexual likes to find as much fluff as possible.... but stuff tends to go over my head so I might accidently reblog a thing or two. Sorry about that <3)

Analysis

Most of my essays are here

Gojo the analyst

SatoSugu and how they support each other

Ao No Sumika - "Will we meet again?"

Gojo and Geto being compliments in an ironic way

Yuji Itadori and his non-existent coping mechanisms

Satoru Gojo... is there anything you don't have?

Gojo and his teasing

Gojo and Geto teachers AU

Gojo, being alone, and loneliness

Itadori is also selfish... and Gojo is compassionate.

Gojo will take care of it. Don't worry

Chapter 236

Jujutsu Kaisen Meta analysis

Would SatoSugu ever get back together

Itadori the sacrifice

Why Gojo and Geto understand each other... and no one else.

Fav Analysis (not by me)

If Geto loved Gojo, why didn't he try to recruit him? by @ellionwrites

How much Geto canonically loved Gojo by @ellionwrites

Who the hell is Gojo Satoru by @fushiglow

Kenjaku's purpose as a literary device by @justrustandstardust

It's only them by @justrustandstardust

SatoSugu as celestial bodies (red and blue) by @justrustandstardust

He knew when he left by @mylee-sketches

Yuji Itadori's... not so healthy tendencies. by @epickiya722

To read

Chap 236

Fanart

Gojo's wallpaper (crack comic with my sibling @mylee-sketches)

Umbrella

Lousy Personalities

Karaoke (crack comic #2)

Neurodivergent Satoru Gojo

Slice of life ideas

Itadori gets a demon dog plushie for Fushiguro

'I'm Satoru Gojo because of you, Suguru'

KFC breakup

Edits

"You were a wonderful experience"

"You're holy to me"

if JJK had slice of life episodes

(cannon compliant)

Itadori's sense of style

Gojo and Geto insult teachers together

AUs

If Kenjaku possessed Gojo instead of Geto

Headcannons

Aspec Satosugu

Fav fics

Carry me home It's so ridiculously good. Timeline suguru-centric fix-it-fic that doubles as a character deep dive. It's absolutely amazing.

5 Times Gojo Satoru Tries to Rizz Up Geto Suguru and 1 Time He (Kind Of) Succeeds by @justrustandstardust. Really funny. It made the asexual try to hold in laughter. Need I say more. Also prose style and the pacing and character voices are all really really good.

April pink cute satosugu fluff

Urban Privilege Nobara and Gojo bonding. Need I say more.

Embers SatoSugu but post-shibyua and full of painful nostalgia.

like best friends do aromantic satosugu. Mind the tags, for it gets... close to being nsfw? But... aromantic satosugu. It was wonderous.

Two-headed Calf Post breakup but pre vol. 0. What could've been. Absolute pain.

here and where you are - cityboys - 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) [Archive of Our Own] REALLY REALLY REALLY SAD Itafushi. Alternate Shibuya timeline but somehow even sadder than cannon, believe it or not. It's a 'everyone gets a happy ending' but in the worst way possible.

Fav JJK posts that make me ~feel things~

Suguruuuuu whyyy

___________________

also also, specific JJK things that give me happy sparkles (I like pain):

SatoSugu but they transcend labels and to me they have a queer platonic flavor to them. (Romantic, Queer platonic, best friends, soulmates, everything. They are everything. But I like Queer Platonic for them quite a lot! They feel like Queer platonic to me <3)

Itafushi but I flipflop between fluff ship and best dynamic in history, or both.

Itadori and Fusiguro's their differing morals and perspectives on a complex situation/circumstances.

Maki and Mai angst.

Found family Gojo and Tokyo trio.

Tokyo trio in general.

Itadori and his sensei's

Itadori in general

SHOKO MY ASTHETIC CRUSSHHHh

Geto's children

The Junpei arc

Cursed womb arc

Maki and Nobara

Inumaki

Nanami and Hibara

Megumi and his sister

Found family Gojo and the Fushiguro children

everything. Literally everything except for Mei mei and the dub.

Want to blabber about JJK with me? Feel free to ask! <3

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swanpyart · 1 year

Text

INSIDE JOB PART 2 Spoilers: Ron and Reagan

Honestly, I feel like people are a bit too hard on Ron in the finale. I feel like his feelings about not wanting to be involved with the Shadow Governments are perfectly reasonable and, if Reagan weren't so attached to her colleagues and Brett, and wasn't as ambitious in her career path, she would have immediately gone with him.

I don't think Reagan or Ron is wrong for their feelings. That's kind of the point: they care about each other but ultimately have different priorities. And, also, they're both clearly traumatized from their own experiences and trying to work it out in different ways.

Like, Ron is clearly self-destructive and pushes people away when he feels he's unable to connect with them. I think that's part of why Brett initially disliked him; Ron has little drive to appeal to others and is perpetually disconnected because of his own trauma. Brett starts to like him when he becomes more sincere in his approach. Not to mention, he's low-key kind of suicidal; he doesn't seem to want to die, but his obsession with memories seems to stem from his intense guilt. He was raised Catholic and clearly harbors intense shame for his entire life, and has spent his entire career doing awful shit, so he feels weighed down by his own brain and his own existence. The way he describes his experience drinking an entire vat of memory-erasing fluid sounds like he's describing a suicide attempt to Reagan. In the end, the only way Ron was able to free himself from his perpetual guilt is to forget it all, and he just assumed the same for Reagan, by assuming that this guilt was something they had in common. And he's not ENTIRELY wrong; Reagan has expressed countless times how much she's hated her job and her coworkers, so, naturally, he assumed she'd be excited to run away from it all with him.

Reagan, is not like that at all, though. She is constantly curious, determined, and angry. She doesn't resign herself to sit back and let the world burn, she wants to DO something. And erasing all of her memories would serve no purpose to her, because she prioritizes her own autonomy and mind, and her connections to others as above her own sense of peace. (plus, Rand has erased her memories before, and she probably doesn't want to go through that again). To Ron, ignorance is bliss and truth has caused him great pain, but to Reagan, ignorance blinds her to the truth of the world. It blinded her to how awful her father was, of how to open up to others, and how to accept the unfairness of the world.

Besides, and this might be a hot take, Ron is ABSOLUTELY correct when he says Reagan should quit her job. Every episode shows that Cognito is basically a zoo full of insane, awful people, Reagan has had to deal with monsters of all kinds, has nearly died on several occasions, and her coworkers are all assholes (even if they do care for her deep down). Remember, Ron hasn't seen everything we've seen of the company, and from his reactions, it seems the Cognito is WAY more dysfunctional than the Illuminati, meaning that Reagan is in even more danger. I mean, a halloween party culminated in everyone getting contaminated with a virus in which everyone wants to be his friend (and as someone with social anxiety, that is my worst nightmare). Ron even says that every time they get together in public they nearly die.

And you might say, "well, why doesn't Ron just quit and let Reagan work?" Even if he did, he'd have to live with the constant fear of his girlfriend/potential wife possibly dying from whatever horrific event is happening at her job that day, and their relationship (as shown in the alternate timelines) would eventually deteriorate, because its extremely difficult to control the entire world and lead a fulfilling romantic life at the same time. Even in Part 1, Bear-O said that her job at Cognito makes her life more difficult. Ron's whole Appleton plan would start them off with a clean slate.

A clean slate isn't what Reagan wants. She would lose all that she's worked for, and she would never give that up. In the end, they both lost what they wanted (each other) and got what they needed (Ron gets peace, and Reagan gets her means to make actual change).

If anything, I feel that Reagan and Ron's relationship, in some ways, is a direct parallel to Rand and Tamiko's relationship. Both Rand and Reagan want to rule the world, but they have someone they love who simply can't accept it and continue as if nothing is wrong. The difference between Rand and Reagan is that, while Rand insists that he can have both the entire world and the validation of this one person, Reagan knows she can't have both and lets Ron go, because she loves him.

#inside job netflix #ron statler #inside job Ron #reagan ridley #reagan ridley inside job #inside job #ij #ij spoilers #inside job part 2 #inside job part two #inside job rand ridley #inside job rand #rand ridley

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jennagrinsoverml · 11 months

Note

Can you recommend some Stories featuring memory loss (not related to Oblivio)?

Absolutely! I have an Oblivio rec list here anyway 😊

For the Last Time by @thelibraryloser

No matter how you meet him, you will love him. You will fall for every version of him, in every world, in every timeline. I need you to know that.

One-shot. This fic is not nearly popular enough for how AMAZING it is!! After losing her memory, Marinette reads her pre-memory loss letter to herself. This is such a beautiful and hopeful take on the memory loss trope with gorgeous prose and such a loving look at the love square relationship. HIGHLY recommend!

you don't even know me at all (but i was made for loving you) by @ladyofthenoodle

They didn’t remember each other. The hospital told them there’d been an accident—brain damage—but Alya had told them the truth, later. Who’d they’d been to each other. What they’d given up, and why. But even with their memories of each other gone, Adrien and Marinette are still inextricably tied together—by law, by their social circles, and by their hearts. And in the apartment they share, there's only one bed.

One-shot. Years later, after Adrien and Marinette are MARRIED, they give up their memories and forget each other. And then there's the painful journey back to loving one another. This one hurtsssss, but it's so good, and the end is amazing!! I don't want to spoil it but the echoes of how they fell for each other the first time are just ahhhhhh!!! READ THIS!

Make This Go On Forever by @coffeebanana

A Finding Nemo Akuma shouldn't be that hard to deal with, right? Clownfish and blue tangs, but nothing life-changing? Adrien didn't expect the accompanying sentimonster to bring to life one of his worst fears: what would happen if Marinette lost her memory. Maybe it's temporary, but it feels very real. And suddenly the things he's been trying to keep hidden from her refuse to stay inside. Or: Angsty emotional hurt/comfort for day 10 of Kiss Prompt November (minnow).

One-shot. This is gorgeous. I love the way the details of what's happened over the past few years are woven into the narrative, and Adrien's breakdown, even after everything, is so sad and fitting. Adrien is terrified of Marinette losing her memory (just like me) and this is done so well.

when push comes to shove by @passionfruitmacarons

Marinette is confused, Adrien is stressed, and Ladybug is nowhere to be found. Or: Ladybug gives up guardianship, and Chat Noir has to suffer the consequences.

One-shot. As usual with this trope, there's some definite angst involved, but I found the ending more than hopeful! It's so sweet, and I really loved the role reversal with Chat being on the other side of an act of self sacrifice.

Your touch is etched into my mind by plikki

She wakes up in a strange room without memories but somehow she knows him.

One-shot. This one is definitely sad and it really hurts, but there's also a sweetness to it that I loved!

new marinette by @rosekasa

marinette may not remember their first kiss anymore, but she has no doubts that adrien is the man she will spend her life with. amnesia has nothing on her love.

Multi-chapter. This is soft and sweet, despite the premise. I love being in Marinette's head as she tries to figure out what she's missing, which of course we already know. And then watching more of the picture come together...it's really well done, and the ending makes up for the angst, though honestly there's not a lot of it!

I Shall Never Know That Second Death by @into-september

Paris has been haunted by a butterfly supervillain and saved by a ladybug superhero, and Marinette has forgotten the last year of her life.

Two-shot. Read this if you want to suffer. Seriously, it's so good, but there is only pain for you here. It's so sad and bittersweet and I legit cried after I finished.

Echoes of You by @kittinoir

In the day time, she's Marinette - a normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with...

Multi-chapter. Marinette’s got giant gaps in her memory she’s struggling to understand while Adrien is desperately trying to figure out just what the hell happened to his Lady. Lots of angst and a mystery and this fic is one hell of a ride from start to finish!

in case you don't know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.” Adrien's heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him. “I understand exactly what you mean." In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you're the only one who remembers?

Multi-chapter. AU. I normally avoid AUs, but I'm so glad I read this one! I'm not going to lie--this one hurts and I was terrified to read it. But! It's so well done and we get a happy ending that makes it all worth it!!

Just Give Me A Reason by @coffeebanana

Adrien stopped short when he turned the corner, his breath catching in his throat. Gentle thunder crackled overhead, and the sky split in two just as Adrien’s heart had months before. The clouds cried the gentle tears Adrien tried to fight back, because he knew if he started crying, he wouldn’t stop. He tried to move. Tried to force his limbs to flee. But suddenly, it was him who’d forgotten how to function. He hadn’t expected to see her. Not here, right around the corner from his usual grocery store. Not today, on the anniversary of their first kiss.

One-shot. I'm not going to lie, this one hurts. The ending can be classified as hopeful, but there's a lot of hurting...but it's so well done!

#ml #miraculous ladybug #ml fic rec #ml fic recs #ladynoir #adrinette #marichat #ml love square #memory loss #jennarecsml

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bonefall · 9 months

Note

Love the Clanmew dog/hound distinction as it relates to Houndstar because it really is almost a kind of nominative determinism. Her parents were out here naming her after the worst most fearsome thing they could think of so she would grow up to be ShadowClan Based. Makes me wonder what her warrior name would have been. Houndclaw, for ferocity. Houndrun for speed. Or something totally off the wall like Houndcatcher because it seems like something she would do. Apprentice Houndpaw absolutely fucking up a dog and getting a badass name and probably some scars out of the deal. You've got me rotating her in my brain like a rotisserie chicken. She's a menace. She's a theologian. She's a slay queen. Love her.

Answering this before dropping a post on her because goddamn it now I'm thinking about her too. Dude she's supposed to have like 4 lines in the entire thing now I'M obsessing over a background character who is just there to provide politics to Darkstar's Commandment

Her warrior name was Houndfang, for the most dangerous part of a large dog. I'm still nailing out the EXACT timeline (because these cats are so far back that I don't actually have enough modern canon characters to pad it out) but it was either one of Ripplestar's final names, or one of the first Marshstar gave.

Either way, Ripplestar had it decided before his death, and Marshstar giving it to Hound was kind of like bestowing his final gift or being reminded of his loss constantly. Houndfang was ferocious and ambitious, but Marshstar's entire rule was characterized by lethargy.

It's a very sad era for ShadowClan, which Houndstar was determined to bring them out of. With violence, of course!

#Houndstar #better bones au #She really has like... four lines in Darkstar's Commandment lmao #Though she is Batear's mom too!

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spittyfishy · 4 months

Note

What did you think of Season 5 of ML, if you have seen it?

So, I have seen season 5 and frankly… I wasn’t a fan.

Season 5 was just chocked full of missed opportunities, because there were some interesting ideas there but the show's writing fumbled the execution so hard it was difficult to watch at times. Just seeing character assasination after character assasination unfold on screen was so unpleasant. I don’t think a single character came out of season 5 unscathed, I’m wracking my brain for anyone that got better this season, or at least didn’t get worse in some way, and I can’t think of any.

To be fair, there were a few bits I liked. A couple akuma designs were good (Hoaxer, Dark Humour, Queen Mayor, and Ryukomori). I thought the Ryukomori episode was well done, I’d probably say it was the best of the season (which is a low bar). But everything else with Kagami was bad. Full honesty I hate Felix and what his role in the story has been so far, but I especially don’t like that Kagami got brought down with him. Felix is the entire reason Hawkmoth got EVERY OTHER MIRACULOUS and it seems like everyone forgot that?? He didn’t get any consequences At All, and yet when Chloé worked with Hawkmoth (when he already had the miraculous for the record) she was painted as the worst person on earth.

I know I’m not the only one who’s pointed out the double standard between how the girl characters are treated compared to the boys, but it really got highlighted this season. Male characters like Andre, Jaggedstone, Felix, and even Hawkmoth himself can do any number of horrible things and still be ‘sympathetic’, but the two fourteen year old girls are irredeemably evil?

I’ll admit I'm biased, Chloé has been my favourite favorite character since I started watching in season one, but she really deserved better than the show gave her. I don’t have an issue with her staying a villain, in fact I think she worked really well as a minor antagonist in season one, she moved the story along and was entertaining to watch. But the last two seasons they’ve made her out to be this giant threat, but haven’t let her actually do anything! She’s been nothing more then a lacky to Lila and Hawkmoth, as far as having Lila in her ear telling her exactly what to say. If Chloé is as bad as the show claims then she shouldn’t need other characters to hold her hand and tell her how to be mean.

But the writing is just like that. They really need to get better at ‘show don’t tell’, and even more importantly, consistency. Because they keep adding things after the fact and retconning things from the earlier seasons to try and clap back at fans criticisms, and it’s just sad. I’ll never stop complaining about the absolute train wreck that was Derision. They made Chloé worse then she was in season one, and made Kim so much dumber then he needed to be. At the beginning of season one Kim was characterized as a bully, he antagonized Ivan in Stone Heart and helped Chloé willingly in episodes like LadyWifi. But for Derision Chloé had to trick him into pranking Marinette? Why?

The pacing in that episode was even worse, because so much of it was dedicated to a flash back everything else was rushed at the end. And Marinette saying she’d never crush on anyone again if she didn’t know everything about them was clearly just the writers trying to justify her frankly creepy actions in earlier seasons because people pointed out that it wasn’t cute or funny it was just weird. And her whole line and issues in that episode flat out don’t work as a retcon because A: why even crush on Adrian at all if she vowed not to like anyone associated with Chloé, and B: we’ve already seen her in a relationship with Luka where she didn’t show ANY of the obsessive behaviour she showed Adrian OR freaking out about going on dates. AND ON TOP OF THAT there’s been two other timelines where her and Adrian have started a relationship (Chat Blanc, Ephemeral) and she hasn’t had any of the issues that come up in Derision.

It’s just such a lazy way of writing the story, and that’s really the core issue with this season. It feels lazy, like the writers couldn’t be bothered to watch their own show and make plots that fit in the world they’ve already built.

Miraculous is a franchise that’s dear to my heart, it’s how I met my best friend and really became comfortable sharing my art online, and I still really like creating content related to the characters, but I’ve been very disappointed in the show since about the end of season three. I still have a small amount of hope that maybe the show will turn itself around and improve, but it’s dwindling.

But at least when cannon goes off it’s rocker that’s what fan works are for!

#this got longer then I intended and that’s even after cutting a bunch of other complaints lol #no matter how bad the show gets I doubt I’ll stop making fan art tho so there’s that lol #the class and the akumas were always my favourite part of the show so both of those getting sidelined this season bothered me #I don’t like the romance elements because like #these are 14/15 year olds why are we even discussing soul mates??#people that age will have any number of crushes yes #but it’s kinda too young to actually start dating?#plus neither Marinette or Adrian are really in a position where they’d have the time to dedicate to a relationship it would need #anyway lol #how do I tag this?#miraculous salt #kinda?#miraculous season 5

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veeva-i0i · 7 months

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Good News everyone! I actually started on that Sam and Gabriel Soulmate fic that has been living in my mind rent-free. It will at least include the following (which I am totally NOT normal about);

Sam dating Jess, truly and deeply loving her despite them not being soulmates. He carries an immense guilt about her death, knowing that it was his fault that someone else would never get to meet and love their soulmate;

Sam knowing that somewhere out there, he does have a soulmate. People without soulmates don't have any dreams. His soulmate never showing up, meant that somehow they were hiding. And really, the older Sam got the more he started to understand why. He wouldn't want to be his own soulmate either.

Their shared dreamscape consisting of different rooms, for years it was only Sam's rooms that were visible to him (including a fast forest, an English literature classroom (later turned into a college classroom), and a library). The dreamscape changes once he meets the cute janitor while on a case, new rooms seemingly appearing out of nowhere. It lights a spark of hope in Sam, but it doesn't quite connect all the dots in his mind.

Mystery spot puts some more dominoes in place, it gives some more hints as to why Sam feels these tugs of attraction and want towards the trickster, despite the whole 'killing your brother over and over again', though the push to tumble those dominoes doesn't come quite yet.

After Mystery spot, the fic will follow a different timeline, one where they discover who Gabe is quicker. Dean will absolutely tear Gabriel a new one for keeping his brother in the dark about their soulmate bond.

Gabriel leaving behind one of his wing-feathers after that confrontation, a small bit of grace clinging onto it that put Sam at ease.

Sam getting said feather tattooed on his forearm (because I go absolutely FERAL for tattooed Sam) the first time Gabriel fakes his death to save the brothers. He stops showing up in their shared dreams and the feather loses its grace. Sam can only assume the worst.

Let's be real, Gabriel is still alive. The man is just doing what he's best at; running away from his problems. He's terrified of the idea of having a soulmate, of them being a hunter. Angels mate for life and he wasn't ready for the commitment, so he ran instead.

And there's just so much more going around in my brain for this fic. I just can't be normal about THEM.

#Supernatural #SPN #Sabriel #Gabriel #Sam #sam winchester #I am so (not) normal about them #fic ideas #this is not even half of the ideas that are running wild in my mind #Like #so many possiblities #Will sam have a wing kink? will he go feral about Gabe his death and try to bring him back like he did with Dean?#Dean getting to be the protective bitch he is while also ignoring the possibilities of finding his own soulmate #because deep down he's just as scared of the commitment as Gabe is #Head empty #Just Sebriel ROT

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rowans-thoughts · 6 months

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Some more Lokius headcanons I had in my back pocket!

They enjoy discussing theoretical situations with each other and always end up bickering over their viewpoints. (Loki’s usually the one to bring these topics up) This especially happens whenever they sit down for their usual key lime pie. Because Loki can't stand silence, there has to be something going on or his brain gets bored. so he starts these debates to fill the silence. (Also because he enjoys riling up Mobius)

Adding onto this, they both always think they're right and neither will admit when they're wrong when it comes to these silly debates. Usually, it ends with them slowly getting closer to each other until one of them decides to shut the other up with a kiss. (This doesn't always end the debate because Loki will usually say "I'm still right" as soon as the kiss is over)

Loki enjoys doing things like painting his nails and occasionally wearing makeup. (Loki mainly wears black or dark green nail polish but isn't opposed to doing other colors once in a while) Loki has also managed to get Mobius to let him paint his nails, Mobius thought it felt weird wearing it but overall was pretty neutral on the idea. (He absolutely loves it when Loki wears it tho because he thinks he looks hot)

Ever since Mobius got Loki into sweets, Loki has just developed the worst sweet tooth ever and Mobius is scared that he has created a monster with how much Loki eats candy/desserts. It seems she always manages to have a stash nearby with how often she'll appear with a piece of candy in hand. (They always offer Mobius some)

Loki loves his life at the tva but he does still get homesick every now and then. Usually, when he's feeling like this he'll hop down onto the timeline to keep up with how Thor is doing, tho they never actually manage to work up talking to him they'll just watch from out of sight.

Mobius can always tell when loki is homesick even if he tries to hide it. And he knows he goes to visit his brother. But he never asks Loki about it. Never even asks if he's tried speaking to him. Because Mobius knows if Loki wants to talk about it then she will. In the meantime whenever Mobius can tell he's feeling homesick, Mobius will be a lot gentler with Loki and try to find ways to subtly comfort them.

Alright that's all my headcanons on them for now

#loki #lokius #mobius #loki x mobius #loki show #loki season 2 #loki series #loki laufeyson #mcu loki #i love them so much #please why couldn't we have domestic lokius #make them canon you cowards

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msfcatlover · 1 year

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Realizing every one of my time traveling Robins has one of the others rendered completely unrecognizable to them by the change:

Steph lived through a Jokerized future, and stopped smiling & laughing as a result (half out of survival, because everyone learned to look on it with suspicion; half out of trauma, because the sensory experience of doing so became associated with her worst memories.) Jason, Tim, & Dick all saw their Stephs become more grim as time went on, but Damian’s Steph actively worked to maintain her light & humor for his sake as much as anything else. Damian cannot conceive of a Steph who doesn’t laugh in the face of every hardship.

Damian takes nearly 30yrs of experience (nearly a decade of it a seemingly endless war) back to his 5yr body & brain chemistry. Steph & Tim saw Damian worn down by war, while Tim & Jason saw Damian destroyed by guilt & loss. But for Dick, Damian is both younger & older than Dick ever got to see him; younger, brighter, more tired, & more worn simultaneously. Dick feels so lost trying to find the boy he helped raise between the true changes & the lies Damian sticks to to protect them.

Dick watched his entire family slip through his fingers like water, accident after seeming accident claiming them one after another. Damian, Steph, & Jason have all dealt with Dick’s near-manic, grief-driven protectiveness before, all know how to recognize the way Dick’s communication skills start to shut down even as he clings hard enough to leave bruises on anyone he loves. The closest Tim has come is the fallout from Bruce’s fake death, when his own grief & coping mechanisms crashed headlong into Dick’s in the worst possible way. The way Dick hovers nearby with a nearly-perfect smile & haunted eyes, the way Dick fusses & triple-checks every chance he gets that his family is okay, the seeming lack of trust in how often Dick needs to see for himself rather than just take their word for it… It makes Tim’s skin crawl, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

Tim hasn’t changed so much himself—not that far off in age from Jason’s timeline, trauma not too different from what Tim dealt with in that timeline (just more of it)—but Jason never really got the chance to get to know Tim in the first place; from Jason’s return to Tim’s death were the two worst, roughest years of Tim’s life, and Tim was either out of Gotham or avoiding Jason for more than half of it. Getting to know the absolutely insane, wild, creative, brilliant, idiotic badass that is his little brother is a roller coaster Jason is in no way prepared for.

...Which I guess leaves Steph unable to recognize Jason. I’m still puzzling out Steph’s future, so I’m not entirely sure how that works yet. (I can see how being surrounded by Joker-zombies could seriously impact Jason, obviously, but part of my point here is that they’re not just unrecognizable as the version that other Robin lost, but that they also aren’t recognizable as the person that Robin knew before their timeline went completely off the rails. It’s not, “Oh look, it’s my sibling before everything went horrible! Gosh, I almost forgot what they were like back then.” It’s “Who are you, and what have you done with my sibling?”) Still, I like this motif, so if I can find a way to make this work then I’m sticking with it.

#iwctw (time travel)#time travel fixit #batfam #bat family #bat fam #batfamily #batbros #batsiblings #bat siblings #robin #nightwing #the spoiler #batgirl #red hood #red robin #stephanie brown #damian wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #damian al ghul #timothy drake #my writing #mine #//#I read exactly one (1) Tim Gets Adopted Early fic where everyone else was like ‘’We need to be nice to Tim. He’s been through so much. We #need to be careful.’’ And Jason was like ‘’He’s an insane little freak (affectionate) actually so write that down.’’#And I was like ‘’This is an excellent dynamic.’’ I also like when RH!Jason thinks he’s prepared only to be blindsided by Tim’s Tim-ness.#They really are the Spiderman pointing meme for being the family wildcards. And they both have access to explosives.#(If you ship it please don’t tell me.)

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empressofthelibrary · 2 months

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🌲, 🌿, 🌾, 🌸 and 🌻 all for my best girl, Drina :D

🌲 What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

Hmmm... I think... I think the kindest things Drina has ever done are the things she does just. without thinking about it. because that's what you do.

Rounding up two little tiefling boys, then a quiet awakened zombie, and then a very frightened gnoll, and giving them all a good meal, a blanket, and a warm bed when she could. Making them family.

The kindest thing that's been done for her... Is pretty much the same. The Hammerhearths taking her in, and then Orn helping her find her way out of the grief when she lost them. Ideal and Margo signing on to help her take down Arthas in that one timeline, and then them still choosing to be her brothers when they reunite much later in the "main" timeline.

The worst thing Drina's ever done... I don't know. I didn't get to see a lot of the aftereffects of her mistakes in the game, unfortunately. I think... Hm. I think, when she was a kid, she had an opportunity to share her night's shelter with another street urchin. A kid who was bigger and stronger than she was, but wasn't trying to oust her... Yet. No, they offered an alliance -- two heads together, watching eachother's backs.

It was a gamble, trusting someone. She'd lost shelters that way before -- older street rats sweet-talking her into letting them in, before they turned around and stole what little she had, leaving her out in the cold. She decided not to take the risk, and told the kid to find somewhere else to shelter -- They were older, and bigger. They'd be fine.

...Two days later, she saw the kid getting hauled away by the city guard for stealing. And the guards weren't being nice about it, either. The kid made brief eye contact, just long enough to give Drina an understanding smile -- he got it. He didn't hold it against her. He understood.

Years later, she still thinks about that boy. Wishes she'd let him in, brought him in to stay with Mama Ferga at the inn. She promised herself she'd never let it happen again.

🌿 What is something true about your OC that they refuse to admit about themselves? Is there any reason to this besides embarassment?

Hmm. Drina struggled a long time with admitting that she was in a leadership position in her adventuring party. This was mostly due to a lack of confidence, which was also part of why she didn't want to admit she'd gone and fallen in love with the party's rogue. There was a lot of complicated stuff there, including Drina's fear of vulnerability, and her own lack of understanding of emotions -- both her own and other people's. I wish we'd gotten the chance to play it all out, but the world is what it is. That same kind of thing was repeated in the timeline with Molly, where Drina didn't want to presume anything, but came to terms with the fact that she had adopted Molly as a daughter, and been adopted as Mama in return.

🌾 What would your OC be like if they were evil. Or if they’re already evil what would they be like as the good guy?

Oh my god, Drina is a woman who is absolutely ruthless when she's angry. She came real damn close to being a villain, in fact, in her need for revenge against Arthas. In the version of events that lives in my brain, it was the party (and Damian) that pulled her out of that mindset and grounded her again. But Drina is... She's fall. Warm campfires and harvest season and s'mores and ghost stories. But she's also storms and frost and clouded skies and bare trees.

Drina, as a villain, is vengeful. Singleminded. Cold. Focused on the total annihilation of whoever invoked her fury. You can't stop her any more than you can stop the turning of the seasons. She won't rest until she's made her enemies pay.

🌸 What would your OC do if they were given god-like powers or the ability to change anything about the world for a whole day?

"...I get to be a god? For an entire day?" Drina laughs. "Okay, first of all -- No more children go hungry or cold. There's a million people out there who wanna be parents, and a million kids out there who need 'em. Let's match them up. Second of all, let's get the Forsaken who want to be human again back to that, and stabilize the ones who don't. Third, I'm calling a permanent end to this stupid war -- No no no, you said I got to be a god for the whole day. You sit back down. Have some soup."

🌻 What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

Drina, nine years old, cold and frightened, stares up at this warrior. She carries herself with easy grace, her copper hair streaked with gray and twisted into complicated braids that wind around her head and fall down her back in a single heavy plait. There's nicks in her ears -- two in one side, one in the other. She's strong, she has to be. Her arms are well-muscled despite her age, and she's got the kind of softness to her that comes from eating well. She wears a simple apron dress, fixed with two large clasps on the straps and decorated with embroidery and trim. It's some kind of nice, sturdy wool, too. Warm and heavy -- nothing too fine for work, but miles better than the thin, ill-fitting clothes Drina stole off a washing line.

This must be the Lady of some House, a Hero like in the stories she vaguely recalls her nannies telling her, the stories she tries to hear again when she sneaks up to the window of the schoolhouse.

The woman kneels in front of Drina -- tiny, grubby Drina -- and kisses her on the forehead. Her hands stroke Drina's dirty, tangled hair and wipe the tears from her eyes.

"It's gonna be alright, little lamb." The woman pulls Drina in for a hug. "I wish I could take you with me, but the magic won't allow it. You'll just have to trust me -- and I know how hard that is right now. But if you take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to, it'll be alright. Head down towards the Merchants' Quarter, when you can. You'll have better luck there than here in the Mages' District."

And just like that, the woman disappears. Left in her wake is the smell of cinnamon and petrichor, the warmth of a campfire.

Back in the kitchen of the New Hammerhearth Inn, Drina sinks into a chair that Ideal had waiting for her. Margo passes her a mug of mulled wine, and Molly lays a blanket over her shoulders. Blitz, ever the therapy dog, lays her giant white head in her ranger's lap.

"Did we fix it?" Drina looks to her little brothers. "Did we close the loop?"

Ideal shrugs. "Well, we're all still here. I think that says a lot."

Drina sips from the mug. "...I wish I could do something more useful than just... Maintain what happened. I want to keep you guys from going through everything you went through. I want to fix things. For all of us."

Margo shakes his head, ghostly white hair still floating in a cloud. "If all of that hadn't happened, Drina, then we wouldn't be here in your kitchen, would we?" He bites into a fruit pie, continuing with his mouth full. "An' I wouldn' be ea'ing thish tas'ee foob."

Drina laughs, pretending not to see as Margo slides another pie up his sleeve. She hears the words under what's spoken -- Focus on what we have, not what could have been. I love you and I'm glad you're my sister. "...Right. Can't take spices out of the stew, after all."

"Exachly." Margo nods, shoving the rest of the pie in his mouth.

"Save some for the rest of us, you greedy little twerp." Ideal reaches over Margo's head to grab a pastry off the platter. There's no anger in his voice, just the exasperation of a loving brother.

"I can make more," Drina insists. "If Blitz'll move, that is. Scooch, ya lump! Molly-lamb, do you want to learn your Grunkle Farrus' dessert recipes? I think there's some less-sweet ones you'll enjoy..."

#Aleindrina Hammerhearth (oc)#Drina Hammerhearth (oc)#bc i don't remember which is her tag now #i hope i got the boys right i couldn't resist writing a little fic there at the end #golly this post got long! that's a good thing tho #thank you for the ask!!

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thatgirlonstage · 4 months

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Re:zéro asks!

What do you think would be the most interesting/hilarious crossover Subaru could stumble into. Either pre-canon or canon (or maybe even IF story), because he gets into situations, regardless of the timeline.

What ships do you like?

Do you ship rezero characters with characters of other series? If you do which ones?

And lastly, do you think Subaru deserves à vacation?

I don’t really do/think about crossovers so much unless I get particularly inspired for some reason—I’ve had some AU thoughts about Re:Zero but I’ve never really bothered considering crossovers for it. Subaru is a difficult character to transpose out of his setting & original plot without doing a LOT of work vis a vis how you manage his character arc. Though actually precisely bc of that maybe the most interesting crossover to me would be if canon Subaru got a glimpse of himself if he had been dropped in a more traditional isekai (I don’t know nearly enough about classic isekai to pick one though) and the kind of person he would’ve become if he was just handed a bunch of awesome powers and people who think he’s cool without ever being called on his shit (the absolute worst version of himself). Relatedly, to your third question, nah I p much never ship characters outside their franchise. Even if they don't directly interact I need them to at least exist in the same/similar enough context or interact with some of the same people in order to get the shipping tickle in my brain. Again unless something particularly inspires a crossover idea, but even then, I will at most do like, bullet point ideas that are mostly meant to be funny to me. I almost never read crossover fic and I’ve never written it.

On ships in general… okay look. I am a) multishipper galore and always one good piece of fanart from being interested in whatever ship idea you want to pitch to me, but b) not primarily into this show for ships and c) at most poking the Re:Zero fandom with a ten foot pole for pretty fanart and usually staying well away from it except to make posts for my own amusement and like six of my friends. I can’t go in the Ao3 tag for it. Every time I do I start wanting to stab things. My current strategy to make re:zero fandom for myself by slowly luring all my friends into watching re:zero is having a shockingly good success rate but yeah the fandom at large is…… holy lack of reading comprehension Batman.

For whatever it’s worth, just as, things I will yell the most about while watching, I am deeply invested in Rem and Subaru in whatever configuration of relationship you want to put them in, I like Rem/Ram because I’m me, and idk that I really know enough about Satella to have Thoughts but I am So Normal about Satella/Subaru Jesus fuck the love love love love love you bit. (NB: I’m anime only with this series so far, please no spoilers.) Emilia/Subaru do make me soft, Subaru and Otto should queerplatonically own a cottage and 37 pets together, and Crusch/Felis are a t4t couple and I shan’t be told otherwise. Actually the ship I’ve probably Thought the most about though is Julius/Subaru. Why did they put in a loop where they speedran an enemies to lovers tragic boyfriends arc. What was that about.

But all of that is secondary to my desire to watch Subaru get the shit beat out of him 😂 which, to your last question—does he DESERVE a vacation? I mean, sure, boy’s been through the biggest boatload of trauma one can imagine and he’s not a bad person even if he’s an asshole with a lot of baggage to unlearn. Do I want him to GET one? Absolutely not, that boy was made in a lab for me to squeeze him like a stress ball

#answers #re:zero

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