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#matt murdock reader insert
allllium · 3 months
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Pinky Promise
~ This definitely ended up longer than I meant it to be but no regrets, Matt is so adorable in this.
~ Fluff, Angst but not really? More like play fighting. Reader is referred to as Matt's girlfriend but other than that gender neutral. WC: 1,939
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~ Matt tells you he's Daredevil
  You have been filled with anxiety all day after a text from Matt. This morning he asked you to come to his apartment as soon as you could after work. He wouldn't say anything else about it, just that it was very important. 
  Matt has a habit of not believing he deserves good things. Throughout your relationship, you have done everything in your power to prove him wrong. But still, when he says he needs to talk to you, about something really important, your mind falls to the worst-case scenario. 
  “Matty, I'm here.” You announce as you walk into your boyfriend's apartment. 
  “Oh hey, sweetheart.” He greets you at the door, as he always does. He is the perfect gentleman. 
  “Hi.” You let out, trying not to let your anxiety be too obvious. “What did you want to talk about?” 
  He opens his mouth to say something before immediately shutting it again. “I ordered some food. It should be here anytime.” 
  “Is there a reason you're trying to change the subject?” He grabs your hands and leads you over to the couch. Sitting down, he pulls you down onto his lap. 
  “No, I'm just letting you know. I know how you get about your food.” 
  “Mhm. And is that the only reason?” 
  “I have to tell you something.” Oh no. You know what this is about. This day had to come eventually.
  “Okay, what is it?” You let out a soft sigh. It wasn't hard to figure out once you got together.
  “I don't want you to be mad at me.” 
  “Matt I won't get mad, I promise.” 
  “How do you know?” His eyes show you how worried he is. 
  “Because I love you.” You grab his hand and lean into him more. “And unless you're about to tell me that you cheated, I won't be mad.” 
  “What! I would never!” 
  “I know, baby. It was just an example.” You almost laugh at the surprised expression that covers his face. 
  “Well, you know how I became blind.” He begins.
  You were right, he's about to tell you he's Daredevil. Yes, you already know. For two reasons. One, a blind man can't do everything he does, the way he caught you when you fell on one of your dates, or the way he knows where things are without being told. Two, Foggy. He didn't mean to tell you but you had your suspicions and you may have tricked Foggy into secretly confirming for you.
  Foggy has no idea what he said allowed you to know the truth and you never told him so he wouldn't feel bad about accidentally exposing his best friend's secret. You're not proud of it but your curiosity got the best of you.
  “Yeah, I do.” 
  “Uhh, it did more than make me lose my sight.” You weren't able to confirm anything about the accident but if Matt is Daredevil then something had to have happened for it to be possible. 
  “What else did it do?” 
  “It heightened all of my other senses.” You squeeze his hand to encourage him to continue. “I can hear things from very far away and smell things better than normal.” No shit. 
  “How much better?” As much as you already know, there are a lot of specifics you still don't understand. 
  “I can smell what you have eaten all day, I can hear your heart beating and I can tell when you're making a face.” That's a lot more than you thought. “I can hear everyone in this building and mostly tell what they're doing.” 
  You immediately scramble off his lap. 
  “Did I weird you out?” The lace of sadness in his voice breaks your heart.
  “No it's not you, I'm just weirdly aware of myself now.” You assure him. You don't know how to describe it like you're going over everything you did in the day to try and figure out what Matt can tell.
  “You don't have to be, sweetheart. You're not the weird one here.” 
  “Matt, you're not weird. You're perfect. You can't control what happened to you or what it caused these senses. I don't know. You can smell me and hear me? It's just a lot.” 
  “That's not even the part I'm trying to tell you.” 
  “Matt, I have to be honest with you. I know.” You whisper. 
  “You know?” He asks in shock. “Know what?” 
  “That you're Daredevil.” Your voice grows even quieter.
  “What? How?” He exclaims, standing up to meet you. 
  “I don't know. One day I was just thinking and kinda put it together!”
  “When?” His voice booms around the small apartment.
  “A few months ago. There was this clip of Daredevil on the news and he looked so familiar so I started thinking about the injuries you get, how you disappear at night, how you can catch me when I fall. It became really obvious and then..” You stop your rant, not wanting to expose Foggy. Even though he had no idea what the conversation was about, you still feel terrible.
  “And then?” 
  “I may have tricked Foggy into confirming it for me.” Matt’s face quickly shows anger and disbelief. “I swear he has no idea I know anything, he didn't mean to confirm anything.” 
  “Why didn't you just ask me?” Is he serious right now? 
  “Because you never would've told me! We've been together for almost a year now and you're just now trusting me with this! I'm the one that gets to be pissed right now, not you!” 
  “Okay you're right I should have told you but I was just scared that..” 
  “No.” You hold your hand out and interrupt him. “I swear Matt, if the next thing you say is that you were protecting me, I will beat your ass.” 
  “That was one of the reasons, yes.” You step forward, fully intent on keeping your word. “Let me explain.” He smiles and pushes you away. 
  “Fine but it better be good.” You cross your arms and raise your eyebrows to show how serious you are. 
  “I wasn't just worried about your safety, I was worried that you would feel different about me. Maybe even leave me.” 
  “Matt, I love you. And I know you doubt yourself but I would never leave you for that. You could kill a million people and I wouldn't leave you.” 
  He gives you a very concerned look. “That's not good, we need to talk about that.” 
  “Eh.” You wave him off. “We need to talk about all this shit,” You move your hands over his body. “All this self-deprecating shit you do.” 
  “Oh well, I'm so sorry for believing you deserve the world.” He says as sarcastically as possible.
  “Exactly. Think more like that.” You nod.
  “I'm not gonna do that.” 
  “We are getting off topic.”
  “Is there more to talk about?” You can tell he's worried about you knowing the details.
  “We are one month away from our first anniversary and you're just telling me this now, that's not okay Matthew!” 
  “I know! I didn't want to wait this long but the more I thought about telling you the more I thought about losing you and I can't handle that.”
  “Wait so why did you want to tell me today? Are you okay with losing me today?” You half-joke.
  “No, because Karen told me if I didn't she would, and I know you should hear this from me.” 
  “Yeah you're right but this needed to happen forever ago!” 
  “I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, sweetheart, I know I should've. But out of curiosity, when would've been the best time to tell you?” He asks sincerely, sitting back on the couch. 
  “Why? Want advice for your next girlfriend?” You can't help but tease. Sitting back down on his lap. 
  “I'm never gonna have another girlfriend.” 
  “Oh yeah? And you're sure about that?” 
  “What does that mean?” He asks in fake concern, used to your teasing antics. 
  “I don't know. What do you think it means?” 
  “This isn't funny.” He says while he laughs. “I can't tell if you're mad at me or me.” 
  “Oh, I'm very mad.” 
  “About me being Daredevil?” 
  “No, Matty about you keeping it from me. What you do for people in danger is amazing. I love that you use your senses selflessly. I mean I hate the fact that you get hurt in the process but clearly, you can handle yourself.”
  “You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that.” 
  “I'm glad I could help. But seriously the next time you keep a secret like this for that long, we're over.” You make eye contact with him as you say this, needing him to know you're not joking. 
  “I promise I won't.” 
  “Good! Now onto that not having a next girlfriend thing?” 
  “Ugh, do we have to?” He leans back, making you yelp as you fall into him. 
  “Yes, we have to. I want to hear you say it.” 
  “It means I want to marry you.” You giggle at his words. 
  “I knew it, you're obsessed with me.” 
  “Does that mean you want to marry me too?” He asks hopefully. You almost feel bad for your next words. 
  “Hmm. I'll tell you next year.” 
  He runs his hands over his face. “You are not funny.” He says that but you can see the smile he's hiding. 
  Before you can respond, the doorbell rings. Perfect timing. “You keep a secret, I keep a secret.” You shrug and head to answer the door. 
  When you go back to the couch and set the food on the coffee table, Matt pulls you into him once again. 
  “Someone's touchy today.” 
  “Just happy you're not trying to beat my ass.”
  “I would win.” 
  “Oh definitely.” You feel him smile on your neck. “Are you gonna make me wait another year to propose?” 
  “Sorry baby but you know I don't marry someone before the second year.” 
  “You're killing me y'know.” He groans loudly in your ear, making you lean away from his ticklish breath. 
  “Maybe your next girlfriend will marry you before the first anniversary.” You yelp again as he pulls you even further into him, using his strength to make sure you're as close as possible.
  “Sweetheart you are the last girlfriend I'll ever have.”
  “Oh, I know I am.” 
  “Oh god, what does that mean?” 
  “It means if you ever have another girlfriend I'll haunt you for the rest of your life.” 
  “Haunt me? Are you dead in this scenario?” He asks in obvious confusion.
  “Yes because I'm never gonna let you leave me.”
  “I'm beginning to think you're a little crazy.” 
  “Crazy about you.” You wiggle your eyebrows.
  “That was terrible.” 
  “That was amazing, I'm a great flirt.”
  “Yes, you are.” He chuckles, in that amazing deep voice. “I'm sorry for not telling you sooner.” 
  “I'm sorry for not asking you directly and using Foggy.” 
  He holds his hand out to you, sticking out his pinky.
  “What's this?” 
  “A pinky promise.” 
  “Oh, a pinky promise with the devil.”
  “Stop that, I promise not to lie to you again and you promise to ask me things instead of tricking poor Foggy.” 
  “Okay fine. Pinky promise.” You link your finger with him. 
  “I love you.” 
  “Aww thank you.” You laugh at his surprised expression. 
  “Say it back.” He whines.
  “I don't wanna.” You can't hide the smile on your face. 
  Matt takes a second to stop himself from smiling before making the biggest, most dramatic frown. 
  “Fine, I love you too.” You break out in giggles as he tackles you.
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dameronology · 3 months
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moment's passed (matt murdock)
summary: based on say don't go by t.swift (x)
warnings: excessive use of the f-word. angst.
this is one of the from the vault songs that just fucking HITS me. i have been crying to this since it came out tbh. i hope you enjoy xx
-jazz
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You had Matt Murdock.
Until you didn't.
Things had been sweet at first; he was a weathered lawyer who needed some light in his life. Somebody to come home to; somebody to properly love for the first time in his fucking life. It wasn't like the high he was chasing with Eletkra Natchios, or the familiarity he'd sought out with Karen Page. He got both things from your relationship, but you were...different. You gave him highs; you could make him feel like he was home and on a rollercoaster all at once. It was a feeling Matthew wanted to keep for the rest of his life. He would have been stupid not to. But wasn't that the thing about Matt? He was incredibly smart, but also incredibly fucking stupid. Almost bound to take someone for granted. He'd done it with Foggy, hadn't he? 
Five years. That was how long you made it before cracks began to appear in your foundations. You'd loved Matt for his Daredevil side at first; maybe he could go too far, but he'd always known when to stop (right?) and you admired him for it. For his bravery, for his candor, for the way he protected the city. It was like a dark and sexy secret that you prided yourself on keeping. It tied you together. You were part of it now. You were the person that Matt could come to about his darkest fears and worst nights. You were the person whose side he would curl up into during the night, craving someone to protect him for once. There was always the worry that he would go into deep and truly lose himself, but every time Matt found himself on the precipice of doing so, you would be there to hold him back - to keep him sane and to stop him letting Matt Murdock and Daredevil blur into one person. 
You were only a human being, though. So was he. Matt could save the city and everything in it but you couldn't save him from himself. Save him from coming home at 6AM - your agreement had always been 3AM at the latest - and sliding into bed beside you without a word, or save him from waking up in a bad mood and refusing to talk to you about it. No matter how many times you begged him to just spend one night in, or to not leave himself three hours to sleep before work. It all fell on empty ears and that hurt when he had fucking super hearing. Comforting cuddles at night turned into whispered touches and soon, those touches became backs turned to one another. Long conversations turned into polite niceties than eventually faded into silence. The happy relationship - breakfast together in the morning at the table and takeouts on the sofa at night - became a burden. A horse you were both flogging because staying together in silence was slightly less terrifying than whatever the alternative that left you alone was. Soon, you were the only one flogging said horse. Matt had dropped his stick a long time ago and turned away. He'd walked into the depths of Hell's Kitchen and you weren't sure he was ever coming back. 
This wasn't your fault. Maybe it wasn't his fault either but hell it was his burden to bear. You'd done nothing but love and support him and what did you get in return? Silence. Iciness. Long, tense moments of forced conversations. 
You got used to it eventually. Every night, he'd come stumbling in at 4,5,6AM, skin littered with bruises and wounds; some from that night and others reopened. Matt's skin was thick with scars now. They were forming a new Daredevil suit across his arms and legs and back and there was no taking it off. It was always there. Always a reminder. 
Matt was laying with his back to you; you watched with open eyes, as his breathing went from shallow and tense, to something a little deeper and softer. He was falling asleep. Tough fucking luck, Murdock, you thought, it's time to talk. 
You brushed a hand down his back - Matt arched like a cat, suddenly waking.
"Hey, Matty."
He sighed heavily. "I was sleeping."
"I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to see how you were-"
"- I'm tired," Matt huffed. "Go to sleep."
"I'm tired too," you murmured. Tired of this. Tired of this silence. Tired of you.
"Sleep too, then."
"I will," you whispered. "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?"
"I'm working all day. Probably late."
"Okay, goodnight," you said. "I love you."
Silence. 
The morning came and still, Matt barely spoke to you. He ghosted past you in the morning, hands fumbling for a clean shirt and pants. His shoes were pulled on and coffee made, and he was out the door before you'd even risen for work. That was purposeful. He never left earlier than 8AM and it wasn't even gone 7:30. Maybe he didn't want to talk. Maybe he just wanted to talk to anyone that wasn't you - which was funny, because you'd barely had a conversation in weeks. 
You had lunch with Karen later that day, about four doors down from the Nelson & Murdock office. Whatever dalliance she'd had with Matt was in the past - you two were good friends. She was level-headed and candid. You needed that in a friend. She always said what you needed to hear, even if you didn't want to. 
"So, I'm gonna see this guy for a second date, I think," Karen was saying something. You were gone, eyes blankly staring past her. "But I'm not sure, because - hey, are you listening to me?"
"No," you admitted. "I'm sorry. I had a really shitty night."
Her face fell with concern. "What's going on?"
"Matt's losing himself to his night job," you admitted. "I haven't had a proper talk with him in fucking months. I don't think he's touched me since people liked James Corden, Karen. Do you know what a long time that is?"
"Jesus," she muttered. Without another word, she pulled out her diary and flicked through it. "Look, it says he's got his whole afternoon wide open today. He went home at midday I think."
You faltered slightly. Either Karen was mistaken or Matt was a fucking liar and had fed you bullshit about being busy this afternoon. The worst part was that you knew Karen never made mistakes when it came to her secretary job. She had a Pinterest board for everything and her Google calendar synced up to ten different devices. She probably wasn't wrong and lying to you, although a new development, was pretty in line with how Matt had been lately. It felt like the final nail in the coffin. The thing that sealed your relationship's fate.
"I..." you muttered. "Okay. Will you hate me if I ditch early to go and talk to him?"
Karen shook her head. "No. Go."
That subway ride was the longest of your ride. It felt like every stop was twice as long; like every red signal lasted ten years. Had the walk from the platform to the barriers always been this long? Had the street from the station to your apartment been this stretched out? Your feet had never hurt more as you sprinted up the stairs from the lobby to your apartment. The door was on the latch - Karen was right, he had been home - and you booted it down with ease. Matt jumped up from the sofa as you did.
"What are you-"
"- you're a fucking liar!" you snapped. 
There was a lingering silence for a moment. Matt was a man of few words but he had very rarely found himself speechless.
"I'm done," you muttered.
"Done with what?"
"I'm done with you," you said. "I'm done with us. With this shitty relationship. Do you know how long I've been trying? How long I've been begging you to give me some kind of attention? Months, Matt. I've been dying for MONTHS and you haven't cared."
"I haven't been ignoring you-"
"- please don't lie to me," you cut him off again. 
The silence returned. You might have been half way out the door for months but Matt had been the one holding it open. The worst part was that you loved him to your very core and if he just said the words then - stay, don't go - or even any fucking word in the human language that hinted at a glimmer of hope, you would have thought twice. Maybe your apartment was a ghost town now but it was haunted with what used to be. Maybe there was a chance to go back to that. Just maybe. You would take maybe. 
The seconds passed. One, two, three. You counted them as they went, right up until you hit sixty. The dreaded one minute mark. That was more than enough time to beg. You could have done it in thirty. But he'd said nothing. The silence now said more to you than Matt had in the last three months. 
"Do you have nothing to say?" you quietly asked. 
"Right," you murmured. "I'm really done then."
"Just...think about this?" Matt said. His voice wavered slightly. There it was. The thing you'd been wanting to hear. It was just one minute too late. 
"Moment's passed, Matty," 
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courtforshort15 · 2 years
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Choice and Chance and Promise
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem Reader
Word count: 7,300
Summary: You can't help the way you feel about one Matthew Murdock, though you've spent years wishing you could. It would probably have made things a little easier.
Trigger warnings: none. Slight angst (but not really) with a happy ending.
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"I don’t think this is working out for me anymore.”
The words echo in your head as you say them, getting louder and louder each time it finds a wall, ledge or corner to bounce off of. The man across the table stiffens, and there’s a sharp intake of breath that causes his nostrils to flare.
“What?” His tone is one of utter disbelief, and honestly, you can’t blame him. It had seemingly come out of nowhere, though lunch had been awkward as all hell, at least from your perspective. Apparently he hadn’t felt the same.
You wince, shifting your eyes away from him, hating to see the pain that’s beginning to bloom across his face. You hate this part. “I said–”
“I know what you said,” he snaps, the red tint in his cheeks deepening. You don’t take the tone to heart, knowing he’s only reacting the way he is because he’s hurt. “I’m just confused.” 
Taking a deep breath, you continue to steel yourself, feeling the way your spine has straightened as you force yourself to say what you need to say. It’s not that you don’t want to break up with him, it’s just that you’re awful at confrontation. “I just…don’t think this is working. I don’t know what else to say.”
“You could start by telling me why,” he says, and you watch as the pain slowly shifts into something that’s a little frustrated, a little angry. “I thought things were going well.”
“They were–”
“Then what’s going on?”
“--until they weren’t.”
His face hardens. “But why? I don’t get it.”
You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose between your forefinger and your thumb, briefly closing your eyes. You look back up at him, noting the way his knuckles have turned white around the plastic cup of soda he’s holding. “I’m just not into it anymore, I guess? I don’t know.”
He gives you an incredulous look. “Not into it anymore?”
“Yeah. I don’t think this is right for me.”
“You don’t think I’m right for you, is what you’re saying.” The look on his face is accusatory, but what he’s said is 100% correct.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying,” your voice is quiet as you respond, shrugging your shoulders. You look at the wall over his shoulder, reluctant to look at his face directly and see the pain that’s radiating off of him.
The man barks out a sarcastic laugh, and the sound echoes throughout the quiet restaurant. A few other patrons look up in curiosity before continuing on with their lunch. “This is great. Fantastic.”
You grimace, fingers playing with the hair tie that's wrapped around your wrist. You’re a fidgeter, you can’t help it, and this is something that’s turning your stomach. You hate being the bad guy, even though it’s completely unintentional and you’re only trying to do what’s best for you. You’re allowed to be selfish in that regard, right? 
“I’m really sorry,” you mumble just loud enough for him to hear. The apology doesn’t help, but you don’t really expect it to.
“Did I do something? Say something wrong?”
“No, it’s not that,” you say as you shift in your seat awkwardly. 
“Then what?”
Groaning, you toss your head back to stare at the ceiling. Breakups suck, and it doesn’t matter what side of the equation you’re on. “It just doesn’t feel right. I don’t know how to describe it.”
He’s not satisfied with the answers you’re giving him, if the look he’s giving you is anything to go by. “You’re not making any sense at all. Can’t we just talk about this?”
“We are talking about this.”
The man gives a frustrated sigh as he runs his fingers through his hair. “No, you’re breaking up with me. That’s not talking about it. You’re telling me we’re done without giving me the chance to change your mind, or see what’s fixable.”
“There’s nothing wrong, and there’s nothing that needs fixing. You’re a great guy, I just–”
“Are you seriously giving me the “it’s not you, it’s me” line?”
You cringe, cheeks flushing. “That’s not…Look, I’m really sorry, but this isn’t what I want anymore. You didn't do anything wrong, so please don’t think any of this is on you. Some people just aren’t good matches, you know?”
“I can’t believe this,” he seethes. A waitress comes up to presumably ask a question, but you shake your head before she can say anything, trying to indicate it’s best she stays away. With a nod, she walks over to another table instead. You turn to look back at the man across from you, watching as he just about glares at you. 
“I’m sor–”
“Stop apologizing,” he bares his teeth as he hisses the words. “Just tell me why my girlfriend is up and leaving without a conversation about it.”
Your mouth drops in surprise. “Girlfriend?”
“Yes, girlfriend. We’ve been dating for three months, what else did you think you were?”
“Three months isn’t a lot of time,” you say weakly, faltering just slightly. “I guess I didn’t see myself as your…girlfriend.”
A brief look of hope crosses over his face suddenly and a bad feeling settles over you. “Is that…is that why you’re breaking up with me? Because you wanted to be serious and you thought I didn’t?”
Fucking hell. “No–”
“Because I promise you, I want to be serious. I’m serious about you.”
“That’s not–”
“I’m really sorry if you thought I didn’t want more, and if that made you feel like you needed to cut yourself off before you got too attached. I can totally understand that.”
You’ve reached your breaking point. “Enough. No. That’s not why. I didn’t think this was serious, and I don’t think I wanted it to be serious. I don’t want to be with you. Why can’t you just accept that?”
His face darkens again as his eyes narrow drastically. “You’re fucking someone else, aren’t you?”
You jerk back, surprised at the accusation. “What?”
“That’s it, right? You’re fucking someone else, and you don’t want me anymore.”
“That’s a hateful accusation,” you glare at him as your voice lowers. “We may not have been serious, but I wasn’t…sleeping around.”
“Right,” he scoffs. “Maybe you were or maybe you weren’t sleeping with someone else, who knows. Maybe you just have feelings for someone else.” The words are spat out at you as if having feelings for someone else is worse than fucking someone.
But this accusation coming from him is…not wrong.
Flashes of a man, a devastatingly beautiful man, flip through your mind, and it’s easy to allow the images flood your consciousness. His dark hair and the way it has a reddish tone when it catches the light just right. A wide smile, framed by dimples and laugh lines, full lips open to give you a dry comment or a quiet compliment. Calloused hands that still feel smooth wrapped around your elbow, broad shoulders that carry the weight of Hell’s Kitchen on them.
Him. It’s always been him. 
And it’s taken way too long to figure it out, way too long to give it a chance, way too long to admit how you feel.
The man across from you utterly sneers as he correctly reads the emotions flitting across your face. “That’s bullshit. You’re breaking up with me for someone else.”
You hang your head in an act of shame. You really do feel awful about this, even if he’s currently being an asshole. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to end this way. I can’t…help how I feel about him.”
His lips curl in something that’s bordering on loathing. “And if you could? Would you want to change how you feel about him?”
For the first time since you’d sat down with him to end things, you look him straight in the eyes, with absolutely no hesitation in your mind. “No. I wouldn’t.” 
A bitter laugh escapes him. “Right. Great. Guess I’ll be leaving then.” He stands up, his chair screeching across the tile of the restaurant floor. He angrily tosses a twenty down on the table to cover his meal.
You look up at him with wide eyes, still hating the way you’ve hurt him. He was a good guy, just…not the one for you. “It was…uh. It was nice knowing you, David. I hope you find what you’re–”
The man storms away and exits the restaurant door in a fit of fury before you even finish speaking. 
—---
Hours later, you’re standing outside his run-down green door, take-out in one hand and a pack of disgusting German beer in the other, anxiously shifting from foot to foot.
It’s ridiculous, you know it is. You told him you were coming over, so you know he’s home. And you also know he’s likely tracked your movement from two blocks away minimum and is fully aware you’re standing outside his door. 
Sure enough, before you can even knock, it’s being opened from the inside. Matt stands in his doorway in casual clothes, his favorite ratty t-shirt and gray sweatpants (yes, fucking gray sweatpants, holy hell), with a smile on his lips as he immediately beckons you inside.
“Hey,” he greets you as you cross the threshold into his apartment. He reaches out and wordlessly grabs the beer and take-out from you so that you can remove your jacket and scarf and place them on his coat rack. “You know, it’s usually customary to knock on one’s door when you’re ready to come inside.”
You smile at the simple way he teases you as the pair of you walk into his living room. Things have just always been easy, always been effortless between you two. “I think the key word is ready in this situation.”
“Oh?” He asks curiously while he immediately begins unpacking the food and placing it on his coffee table. He’s already set out plates and napkins to eat dinner with, and there’s a glass of water waiting for you, knowing you prefer it to the beer you’ve brought over for him. “What were you waiting on?”
Oh, just trying to figure out how not to fuck this up.
“Nothing, I was just thinking,” you say instead as you toe off your shoes and move to sit on the ground in front of the coffee table. Matt thinks it’s amusing when you sit on the ground instead of the couch to eat, but he’s always quick to join you anyway. It's therefore no surprise that once the food is properly laid out, he’s sitting across from you on the other side of the table, legs stretched out underneath.
His feet, like usual, are covered in fluffy socks that roll up over the bottom of his sweats, much to your ever-lasting amusement. It’s adorable, and the fact that he has no idea what it does to you is ridiculous.
God, this man.
“Thinking? What about?”
You. Always you.
“Things,” you shrug nonchalantly.
“Things,” he says dryly. He places a large serving of your favorite dish onto a plate before he hands it to you. You’ve known each other long enough, been friends long enough, that he knows what you’re going to eat before you even say anything, always correctly anticipating what you’re hungry for. You take it from him with a grateful smile.
“Yes, things.” 
He raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t say anything. It’s generally not like you to be vague, but he’s never been one to push. He knows you’ll tell him when or if you’re ready, because you always do. He’s the one person you tell everything to.
“Well, let me know if you need to talk about anything, okay?”
You smile, and the expression is genuinely open and happy. It’s an expression that is on your face more often than not when you’re around him.
Matt tilts his head towards yours, beautiful brown eyes that sometimes look hazel in the light aimed in your general direction, as if he can see the way you’re looking at him. Your heart is pounding in your ears, but in a way that you hope suggests excitement for your favorite take-out place rather than anxiety. He smiles softly, and you know he’s listening in.
You suppose people could find it intrusive, the way he’s able to know more about their bodies than they do. But to you, Matt’s only ever used his abilities to seek the truth and hold people accountable for their actions, regardless of the setting.
With a dorky grin still on your face, you find yourself digging into dinner, suddenly starving, realizing you hadn’t been able to eat much at today, both because David had taken you to a place he knew you hated for lunch, and because your stomach had been twisted into knots as you paced back and forth in your living room, trying to find the right words to say to the man in front of you. 
“How’s that case coming?” you ask him, eyeing the sheets of paper spread gathered in a pile and his laptop on his kitchen table. It must have been one of the days he chose to work from home, if the mess is anything to go by.
Matt lifts a shoulder in response as he shoves another bite into his mouth and swallows. You eye the way his cherry, bow-strung lips wrap themselves around his fork. “It’s a bit of a beast, to be honest. No concrete alibi, a witness that places our client at the location of the crime within a few hours of it happening. But Foggy thinks he’s got a lead, so we’re hoping something comes through.” 
“But you don’t necessarily have to have great leads, right? As long as you can discredit the prosecution’s?”
Matt looks so downright happy that your heart flutters in your chest. He sends you a teasing smile. “Yeah, that’s right. Look at you, it seems you do occasionally listen when I’m talking.”
“I guess I just like the sound of your voice,” you tell him sarcastically. Matt throws back his head and laughs as you chuck back the line you know he’s used on women before, yourself included.
“I’m blind,” he says when he’s done laughing. He takes another bite, and again you find yourself distracted by the movement. “It is fully within my right to use that line.”
“If you used it as a genuine compliment rather than a line to seduce women, I might be able to excuse it.”
He drops his mouth in mock upset. “Why can’t it be both?”
You snicker before taking another bite. “I’ve known you for years, Matt. If it was a genuine compliment, you’d say it to women you weren’t trying to hook up with.”
“That’s…fair.”
You laugh again. “I’ve known you for too long, Matt. I’ve figured out most of your secrets.”
“I highly doubt that,” he says with a grin, blank eyes aimed over your shoulder. “We wouldn’t be friends if you did.”
Your eyebrows raise as you consider him. “Is that so?”
His laugh is almost self deprecating, and it causes your lips to twist into a small frown. “No one wants to be inside my head. I don’t even want to be inside it.” 
“And if I did?”
His expression is curious, his head tilted as he observes you in the way that is uniquely him. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Maybe I just want to know more about you,” you shrug your shoulders. You take a large sip of your water, lips curling briefly in disgust as he does the same with his beer. His beer of choice is revolting, and you’ve never been able to tell if he actually likes it, or if it’s because he thinks he deserves the worst in all things, even his alcohol. “We’ve been friends for a while, haven’t we? Sometimes I can tell you want to let things slip, but you always hold back.”
“It’s been a rough road,” he says in response, letting out a sigh as he shakes his head. You grimace, knowing just how rough the road has been, having met him at a low point in his life. But even at his worst, he managed to draw you in like a moth to the flame. “It wasn’t pretty. Not sure that’s something you want to hear about, sweetheart.”
His name for you rolls off his tongue easily, which is no surprise since he’s been calling you that ever since it randomly slipped out at a drunken night at Josie’s. You’ve worked hard over the years to not react to it in a way that wasn’t strictly friendly, but tonight you…can’t help it. The word runs through your veins before it settles in your heart, and you find yourself flushing. 
Matt pauses, his next bite of food sitting on his fork halfway to his mouth. The tilt of his head indicates he’s picked up on the way your heart has briefly stuttered. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you say, attempting to brush it off and not give yourself away so soon. You’ve planned out what you want to say tonight, and you’re…not quite ready to go there. You need to ease into it, prepare yourself for the possibility that he might not feel the same way, because there is still a very real chance that this will all blow up in your face.
“You sure?”
You smile softly, his quiet concern washing over you like a gentle breeze on a warm spring day. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
There’s a quiet lull in the conversation as you focus on the food in front of you, and the silence is a comfortable one. You watch as he takes another bite, eyeing the way he never spills a single piece of his food with a small sense of envy. You, on the other hand, cause a mess all over your own t-shirt with every meal, and tonight is no exception. You wet a napkin with your water and try to get rid of the stain that’s forming, though you know it’s not going to do much.
“What were you up to today?” His voice snaps you out of your head, the question popping up out of the blue after he takes another swig of his god awful beer. “Didn’t you take the day off? Karen said she called you earlier to ask if you wanted to grab coffee, but that you said you were out of the office today.”
“Uh, yeah,” you say as you push your plate away from you, having finished with dinner. Matt does the same after funneling in one last bite. Over the years, your work has sometimes overlapped with the practice of Nelson, Murdock & Page, so it’s not unusual for Karen to call you up for coffee breaks or lunch dates.“I took some time just to decompress for a bit.”
“Just for fun?”
You shift in your seat awkwardly before you choose to stand up to grab your dishes from his coffee table, intending to help clean up. Matt stands up quickly and waves your hand away, picking them up instead, along with the extra food neither one of you had eaten. He walks them over to the kitchen and places them into his sink with a clank. 
“No, not really,” you tell him honestly after a moment. Your mind quickly shuffles through the best way to broach the topic. “I uh…I had lunch with David earlier.”
The entire line of Matt’s body goes stiff, and you watch as every inch of him stops moving in front of you from where he’s standing in front of the facet. He’s quiet for a moment, and it looks like a war is taking place inside his head as he frowns. He lets out a loud breath, and it strikes you that he looks like he’s trying to shake himself out of it, but failing.
“That’s…nice,” he says, and the words sound incredibly tense and forced. “I hope he’s doing well.”
You grimace at the reminder of David’s angry face, twiddling your thumbs as you stand awkwardly in his living room. “I don’t think he’s doing especially well right now.”
Matt grabs a few tupperware containers from under his kitchen sink and begins shoveling leftovers into them, his face carefully blank. “That’s a shame. Is everything okay?”
“Okay with me? Or okay with him?”
Matt’s head tilts at the question. “Both? Mostly you, though. Are you okay?”
“I mean…yeah,” you say, realizing it’s the absolute truth as a small smile appears across your face. Matt nods to himself, snapping the lid of a container shut, and if he uses a little more force than usual, neither one of you acknowledges it.
“That’s good,” he mumbles just loudly enough for you to hear from across the room. You watch as he walks over and places the leftovers in his fridge. “Good. I’m glad everything is good.”
“It is good,” you repeat, and your smile widens hesitantly, despite your nerves. “We went to that Mexican restaurant on 51st.”
Matt pauses and tilts his head towards you, looking confused. “You hate that place.”
You let out a laugh. “I absolutely detest it, actually. It’s not authentic at all, and the rice and beans are awful.”
“Why would you go there then?” The look on his face tells you that he thinks the concept is absolutely ridiculous.
You shrug your shoulders lightly as you make your way closer to his dining table, fingers running over the paper he has piled up, tracing lightly over the bumps. “David wanted to go there.”
Matt’s face returns to a look that is forcibly blank as he turns on the water and begins washing the dishes. “Does he know you don’t like it?”
“He was hoping I’d change my mind. He uh…didn’t always care too much about the places I liked going to.”
“Right,” he mutters, almost too quiet for you to hear as he begins scrubbing furiously. You find yourself almost feeling bad for the poor sponge. “That’s kind of him, always taking you to places he knows you don’t like.”
Your eyebrows raise at the borderline hostility towards a man who’s not even in the room. “It’s okay, Matt,” you say, watching the way his face has screwed up slightly in frustration. “It’s not a big deal.”
“You’d think your boyfriend would at least try to find places to go to that you both like, instead of just choosing what works for him.”
You don’t disagree with him, mostly because it was something you’d picked up early on with David anyway, but the sentence still makes you frown. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“You’ve been dating for a few months though, right?”
You open your mouth to respond.“Well yes–”
“Then even if you haven’t made things official, he still should make more of an effort to keep you in mind when making plans.”
“Matt–”
His voice has grown louder, and it’s almost alarming, the way he’s reacting right now. “It’s kind of inconsiderate, actually. He should–” 
“I broke up with him.”
Matt freezes, every inch of him momentarily coming to a screeching halt, the dish towel still in his hands. He frowns, appearing extremely bewildered, and you don’t necessarily blame him, not with the words you let slip past your lips in an effort to stop his tangent. He looks briefly like the wind has been knocked out of his sails before he recovers. “Why would you do that?”
You shrug, observing him as he slowly places the dish towel on the counter. “It didn’t feel right with him.”
“It didn’t feel right with him?” He repeats almost flatly. You nod, biting your bottom lip. He takes a deep breath and leans back against the counter, fully facing you now. “Well, it’s…good you figured that out, right? No one deserves to be led on.”
“That’s right,” you whisper, and you’re almost taken aback by the sadness that flashes across his face. 
Does he not–
He’s still frowning, his lips tugged down on the corners of his mouth. “Are you sure you’re okay? Shouldn’t you–”
“Matt,” you sigh as you take another few steps forward into the kitchen, effectively cutting him off. Matt looks like he can’t tell if he should stay still or bolt at the sudden movement. “I broke up with the guy I was seeing, and the only thing I’ve wanted to do was come here.”
He licks his lips nervously, and the motion draws your eyes to his mouth, a mouth you’ve thought about more times than you want to admit. “I’m…I’m not sure what to say to that.”
You smile sadly, quickly coming to the realization this isn’t the way you pictured this conversation going. “You don’t really need to say anything. I just…thought you should know.”
“But why did you think I should know?” 
You shuffle your feet, and you know you’re quickly losing your nerve as your heart settles in your stomach, a heavy wrecking ball ready to destroy whatever you had come over here to say. “Because we’re friends. Right?”
Matt almost flinches, his body practically deflating in front of you. “Right. Friends. This is totally something you talk about with friends.” The man shudders in front of you and closes his eyes, head turning away from you. He’s silent, and the longer he doesn’t say anything, the more uneasy you get. 
Had you…read this wrong? 
Years of warm, flirty comments. Years of late night take out. Years of bright smiles and impromptu sleepovers when he’s too tired to leave your couch after you’ve patched him up. Years of random coffee meet-ups and hugs that lasted longer than they did with Karen and Foggy. Years of Saturday morning walks through Central Park and dry, sarcastic comments thrown at each other like confetti.
Years of feeling like something was always lurking beneath the surface, but never quite knowing, never quite believing what it was or could be.
You honestly don’t know why it’s taken you so long to get to this point in your life. Matt was a man you once upon a time had a crush on, before his apparent lack of interest forced you to shove those feelings aside. It was more than enough, you’ve told yourself over the years, to just be his friend, and so eventually, you dropped it.
Until one day…a side comment from Karen caught your ear and everything simply slid into place.
A side comment that suggested that just perhaps…he felt the same way, too.
But maybe, thinking back on it, Karen had been wrong. She was drunk when she slurred it to you three weeks ago at happy hour, so perhaps listening to her wasn’t the best idea. Maybe she saw something that wasn’t there. Maybe she simply hoped for her best friends to be happy, and made up a story in her head and nonchalantly passed it along to you.
You shift on your feet in mild distress, and take a small step back, unconsciously trying to separate yourself from the pain and panic that is suddenly rippling through you. You haven’t even really said anything to him about your feelings yet, and things are already crashing and burning around you. “I’m sorry that this kinda…came out of nowhere, I guess,” you laugh humorlessly. 
His face snaps back to yours. “What came out of nowhere?”
“Just…nothing.” The words come out as a quiet sigh and your eyes drift over to the billboard that flashes outside his living room window, unable to look at him anymore. The display shifts through multiple colors on repeat, and while you’ve always been comforted by the light it offers Matt’s often dark apartment, today you feel like the cheery image on the screen is mocking you.
“No, tell me,” you hear him insist. His voice is laced with something you can’t quite put a finger on, but you shove it aside.
Running your hand through your hair, a bitter laugh makes its way out of your mouth. “Me, coming over here to tell you I’d broken things off with David. I thought…well I don’t know what I thought, actually.”
“You’re lying,” he accuses, and out of the corner of your eye, you watch him cross his arms across his chest. You know it’s a habit he has when he feels flustered or when he’s unconsciously trying to shut someone out, a barrier between someone else and whatever he’s feeling. The motion causes you to flinch.
You shrug your shoulders in an attempt to make your voice sound as blank as possible. “I’m really not.”
The man doesn’t let up, his voice growing louder with each word that comes out of his mouth. “You came over here to say something specific, didn’t you?”
Your eyes shift back to him. “No, I just–”
“Did you forget that I can tell when you’re lying?” Matt’s beginning to look borderline frustrated, and you wince at the way his voice has shifted. It’s rare that he uses that tone on you, usually reserving it for when he’s upset about a case he’s working on, or someone who’s stirring up trouble on the streets.
You shake your head, and you feel a traitorous flash of heat on your cheeks. This is embarrassing. Why did you think a man like this could possibly feel the same? “I’m not trying to lie, I just realized that maybe I was wrong about something and that I should probably just go home.”
You move to turn on your heel and leave the kitchen, but hands wrap themselves around your upper arms before you can move more than a few inches. He pulls you in further until you can almost feel the heat of him against you, and you shift your eyes back away from him, struggling to think with him so close.
“Don’t leave. I’m…I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with you. You’re acting strange,” he says as he continues to hold your arms, though his hands are exceedingly gentle like always. You try to wiggle away, but he doesn’t let go.
“I’m fine, I think I’m just tired.”
He shakes his head, his face still a mix of upset and concern, his voice lowering to almost a growl. “Am I really going to have to pry it out of you?”
“Matt–”
“Just tell me.”
You blurt it out before you can stop yourself, the words tearing themselves out of your lips. “I came over here to tell you that I have feelings for you.”
He stills against you, his sightless eyes going wide, his mouth opening in shock. You hear his breath catch, no doubt surprised beyond belief. “What?”
You bow your head in something neighboring shame.
“Yeah,” you mumble under your breath. He’s silent, his face still a combination of frustration and surprise, and you decide his processing of the new information isn’t something you want to be around for. “I think I should go home.”
He seems to snap out of a haze, and his hands tighten around your arms when you try to pull away again. “You can’t just say something like that and then leave. I can tell there’s more that you want to say, so just say it.”
You’re suddenly exhausted, energy leaching from your pores. “You’re really not going to let this go, are you?”
“No,” is all he says, jaw tight, locked and ready to latch on to anything that might pour out of your mouth.
“Right,” you mutter under your breath. Your eyes drift away from him again, suddenly desperate to separate yourself from him as much as possible. “I think I’ve always felt this way. I, uh…it’s stupid really, but I–”
“Then why now?” He demands, though the tone isn’t as harsh as you would have suspected of someone who had just had their whole world rocked. “Why are you saying this now?”
Your eyes well at the question, and it takes every inch of you to not let a single tear fall, devastation beginning to settle in like an unwanted freeze in the middle of spring, unknowingly killing all the plants and flowers that have already been so lovingly attended to. 
“Karen said something a few weeks ago, something about you maybe feeling the same way, and I knew I needed to at least try to say something. And I also knew that I couldn’t have anything going on with David if there was any chance that you had feelings for me, too.” 
Head hung in misery, you try again to pull away as he still doesn’t say anything. “I hope…I hope that this hasn’t ruined anything between us. We can still be friends, right? This doesn’t have to change anything, if we don’t want it to. It’s seriously okay that you don’t feel the same–”
“I do.”
Every cell freezes in your body and your heart stutters to a stop. Your eyes lift to look at him, taking in the way he seems as equally as terrified as you felt when your own words ripped out of your head and into an actual confession. “What did you–”
He licks his lips again, but his face suddenly morphs into something more focused, something more sharp and heated and purposeful. “You heard me.”
“You feel–”
“Yes.” The way he’s still holding you suggests that he’s reluctant to pull away from you more than a centimeter. It’s shifted from something that merely kept you close to him because he didn’t want you to leave, to something that seems more intentional, more determined to keep you near for the sole sake of just holding you. “I feel the same way.”
“For how lo–”
His eyes land somewhere on your cheek. “A while. Years.”
Your heart thunders in your chest, the sound of it in your ears almost as deafening as standing next to a waterfall. “Why…why didn’t you ever say anything?” You ask quietly once you’ve caught your breath, your eyes flitting across his face as he suddenly reaches up to brush your hair behind your ear. 
“I was not in a good place when we met,” he whispers, and you wince, because he was right. He hadn’t been. “It took me a while to put myself together, after everything that happened with Midland Circle and Elektra. And by the time I realized how I felt, by the time I felt like I could maybe be a person at least somewhat deserving of you, you had met Brad.”
Brad. An ex-boyfriend you had dated for about a year. Nice guy. Boring, but nice. He treated you well, at least, and you hadn’t necessarily been unhappy with him. 
It’s just that…you had used him as a distraction from your feelings for Matt, if you were being honest with yourself. Not exactly a kind thing to do to someone you knew had genuine feelings towards you, but it worked enough that you were able to shove things aside and convince yourself you were over Matt.
As if I could ever be fully over Matt Murdock.
“I told myself you deserved to be with someone who was whole. Someone who could spend every evening with you. Someone who could invite you to dinner with his family, someone who could give you a stable, simple life. Things I knew I couldn’t give you.”
You frown at the words pouring out of his mouth. “But I…that was a few years ago, Matt. You could have said—”
He interrupts you gently with a calloused finger over your lips. “You’re right, I could have. But just because you weren’t seeing Brad anymore, didn’t mean I didn’t want those things for you. Even if you were single, I couldn’t bring myself to take those things away from you.”
“And…and if I didn’t care about all of those things, as long as I had you?”
He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “There are still some things I’m not sure that I can give you. Some things that–”
You open your mouth to object before he even finishes his sentence. “Those things don’t matter to me.”
He looks extremely pained as he finally releases your arms, and you mourn the loss of contact. He takes a small step back, and this time it’s you who chases him, your feet bringing you right in front of him again, unwilling to allow for any sort of distance. “You say that now, but–”
“We’ve been friends for years, Matt,” you tell him, denying him the chance to argue his way out of this. “If I didn’t want to be in your life, I would have left a long time ago.”
His smile is wry. “Friendships are different from relationships.”
“I know that,” you tell him honestly and without hesitation, because you do know that. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a wonderful man who deserves happiness just as much as everyone else.”
His laugh is almost bitter. “I’m not so sure–”
“You don’t have to be, because I am.”
“You can’t possibly–”
You cut him off again. “You deserve all things that are good and wonderful and gentle. You deserve someone who is there for you, no matter what. You deserve love.”
He finally pauses, taking a breath that rapidly expands his chest before he lets it out, the air shuddering as it leaves his lips. His hand is shaking lightly, when it slowly reaches out to settle itself on your cheek. His eyes flutter shut, and he looks like he’s so hesitant, so afraid of whatever you’ll say in response to his next question. “And you…you want to be that person?”
Your answer is simple, and it requires no thought. It’s as if the words have spent the last few years laying dormant underneath your tongue. “I do, if you want me to be.”
He still looks extremely doubtful as he speaks, as if he’s nervous you’ll be scared off, or take the words back. You’ve come too far to ever let anything this man throws at you to chase you away. 
“You understand that I can’t promise you all the things you might want?” He begins, eyes shutting again as he all but tears himself apart in front of you, exposing all the muscle and blood underneath his scarred flesh, and you watch as the dark of his eyelashes settle against his fair skin. “I can’t promise I’ll be home every night to fall asleep with you, I can’t promise I won’t try to push you away sometimes, I can’t promise that I’ll ever want kids, given the life I lead.”
You grab the hand that’s not resting on your cheek and place it directly over your heart, the muscle pounding underneath the flesh and bone that’s keeping you together despite your nerves. “I don’t care what our life looks like, as long as it's you next to me, every step of the way.”
He’s quiet for a moment, before his eyelids flutter open, letting his brown eyes fall where they may. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”
“Was I lying, Matt?” 
You watch as he takes a deep breath, his head jerking side to side. “If this…” he trails off, head still tilted towards yours as he licks his lips. “If you’re…there’s still tons of things going through my mind right now, most of them not good, and I need to hear you say it. I won’t believe it until I hear you say it.”
You already know what he’s asking before he finishes speaking, and the words come to your lips without thought, without hesitation. “I love you.”
Despite all the fear and pain and panic that you’ve felt at the thought of him not feeling the same way for you, the three-word sentence is the easiest thing you’ve ever said to him in the years that you’ve been friends. It feels like the words were always meant to come out of your mouth, always meant to wrap him up in you until there’s no space left between your skin and his.
He sighs, and this time it sounds content, happy almost. He takes a small step towards you, eliminating most of the remaining distance between you, and lowers his forehead to yours.
The hand on your cheek lowers slightly so that he can run a calloused finger over your bottom lip. “Can I…can I kiss you?”
“Please.”
He uses both of his hands to cradle your face gently, keeping you locked into place as he presses his lips against yours, at first almost shyly, and then with more pressure. There’s not a single question or thought in your head as you respond, mouth opening under his, parting to allow him to pour all of his unspoken words into your body. Soft lips. Heated cheeks. Stubble rubbing your face. Firm body pressed against yours. Your own hands slide against his waist as you anchor yourself against him, and he takes the opportunity to press more fully against you.
The kiss, even while it remains soft, is as heated as the flush that is spreading through your skin like wildfire, your blood burning as it pushes through your veins. 
Matt pulls away reluctantly, panting against you. “I love you, too,” he says quietly, reverently. “In case I didn’t make that clear.” It’s the first time you’ve ever believed a man when those words have been said to you, but maybe it’s because you’ve always been waiting for him to say them. 
With a small smile, you bring his mouth back down to yours, eager to feel his lips pressed against yours again. His hands move from your face, one sliding into your hair, the other to your hip as if to steady him. He steps forward, pushing you into the counter behind you, before lifting you and placing you on top of it.
He spreads your legs immediately and steps in between them, still appearing desperate to press every inch of your body into his, as if he’s nervous you’ll slip through his fingers if he’s not holding you to him tightly enough. His entire torso is burning against you through his shirt and your own, and you can’t help but wonder if you’ll catch on fire the second his skin is on yours.
You feel him smile against your lips, and it doesn’t drop as he leans back and places another light kiss on your forehead. “It really took Karen saying something for you to realize that this could be…more?”
You snort, because of all things that could come out of his mouth after kissing you breathless, mentioning another woman was the last thing you could have imagined. “That woman could run the world with her hands tied behind her back if she wanted to.”
“I’m not going to disagree with you there,” he says with a laugh, gentle hand running through your hair again. “But was that seriously the tipping point?”
You blush and divert your eyes from his face. “I thought there was no way someone like you could ever feel that way about me, so I buried it,” you admit, hands fiddling with the fabric of his shirt. “And I guess it took Karen saying something offhandedly for me to realize I had never actually moved on. It took her pointing out that I just might have a chance. So…I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”
He shakes his head silently before pressing a brief kiss on your mouth. You lean in, but he pulls away with a small smile. “Don’t be sorry. Not for this. Maybe…maybe things had to go this way, you know? And we’re here now, aren’t we?”
Your voice is shaking when you reply. “We’re here now.”
“And I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers as he lowers his mouth back down to yours. You watch as his dark eyes land somewhere on your cheek, the gaze heated. “Things won’t be easy for us, but I promise that loving you will be the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, sweetheart. I promise.”
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deceitfuldevil · 1 year
Text
Uncharacteristic
Matt Murdock X Reader
Summary: You grew up with Matt Murdock, always crushing hopelessly on him. But from the day you met Matt he never seemed to so much as tolerate you. Nearly 20 years later and your offices are across the hall from each other and it’s safe to say Matt considers the worst part of his day to be when he has to pass your office in the morning. He clearly hates you, so why does everyone think he has this uncharacteristic soft spot for you? 
Warnings: angst, enemies to lovers, allusions to smut at the end, swearing, kissing, consumption of alcohol, being drunk, allusions to depression, not proofread.
Word Count: 3K
Hopeless, that was a good way to describe your love life. It can’t get much worse than having a childhood crush that still finds you irksome well into your adulthood. This little crush of yours only got you teased as a kid, because really, who has a crush on the anti-social blind kid? 
But now you’d pay for the teasing over the current situation, where your childhood crush has grown into a very attractive grown man, and everyone constantly reminds you of that fact. 
“Matt looks so dreamy today.” Your coworker, Alyssa, said with a far-off look. 
“How can you even tell with that split second glimpse you got of him walking into his office?” You grumbled, flipping over the top sheet of the pile of paper in front of you. 
“I just know, okay? Anyways I could probably get a better look if you’d let me keep the door open more than a crack.” Alyssa snapped back, matching your grumpy energy. 
“Leaving the door open more than a crack is inviting, and inviting means Matt will come in, and Matt coming in means he will be insolent towards me.” You said simply, looking up from your paperwork to eye her. But Alyssa just gave you a confused look. 
“Insolent, meaning he’ll be rude, arrogant, and show his lack of respect towards me.” You elaborated, thinking she didn’t know the meaning of the word. 
“I know what insolent means, thank you very much. But Matt has never been insolent towards you in the slightest.” She said, raising her eyebrows towards you. 
“Please, he hasn’t been able to stand me since I met him at the orphanage in 7th grade.” You said fully setting down your work and dividing your full attention to this conversation now.
“Whatever lie helps you sleep at night.” Alyssa said, finally dropping the conversation after you had immersed yourself in it. You scoffed and went back to the task on hand, disregarding her thoughts.
The rest of your work day went on as per normal, calling and conversing with clients and filing paperwork until it was five o’clock. You were out the door sooner after the clock struck five, hailing a cab to a restaurant uptown where you were meeting a longtime friend of yours for dinner. 
Your friend Leila had just moved back to the city after going back to college to get her masters degree, so you just had to meet up. She arrived at the restaurant shortly after you, immediately running over to hug you. “It’s been too long. How have you been?” you asked eagerly. 
“Oh, we need to sit down for this.” she said with eyes that screamed ‘I have so much drama to tell you about’.  Excited, you both sat down and talked through your entire meal. Leila didn’t even realize how long she had been talking until the waiter brought out the check, and her eyes widened with embarrassment. “Oh my god I’ve totally talked your ear off, please tell me something going on with you so I don’t feel as bad when I’m going home.”
“It’s not a problem, besides not much has changed with me. I’m still in that same tiny apartment, I’m still hopelessly single, and I still work at Atlas Investments.” you said in a relaxed tone, just glad you got to catch up with your friend and not caring to go over the details of your mundane life. 
“Still admiring Matt from afar?” Leila asked, poking at your clasped hands in front of you, you pulled your hands apart and soothed them over your thighs at the topic. “It helps if I pretend I don’t have a crush on him like we’re still in 7th grade. Besides, he still hates me just as much as ever.” you said, pulling out your wallet to put your card down.
“Hates you?” Leila said in a questioning tone.
“Don’t take that tone with me, my coworker gave me that same tone with that same look you’re giving me when I told her why I don’t like interacting with Matt because he’s so insolent towards me.” you said, getting a little sick of no one else ever seeing how horrible Matt has always been towards you.
Leila just stared at you for a moment, as if trying to read your face for any sign that you might be joking. You just stared back at her, waiting for some reaction. Then she burst out laughing, a light and awkward laugh falling from your lips in response.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh.” Leila said, pausing as one last breathless chuckle left her lips before she composed herself. “I just can’t believe after all this time you still don’t see it.”
You looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. “See what?” 
“Matt’s behavior towards you! As long as I’ve known you both, he’s always had this uncharacteristic soft spot for you.” You stared back at Leila with this incredulous look on your face. “...what?” 
“Jesus you’ve known each other nearly 20 years and you still haven't noticed? I guess that solves the answer to why you two haven’t fucked yet.” Leila said, also reaching in her wallet to put her card down as the waiter grabbed the bill; clearly trying to ignore your conversation. You shook your head, physically trying to erase the second part of her sentence from your head like an etch-a-sketch. 
“Matt. . . he’s always hated me. Never wanted to be around me. I remember how red and furious he looked the day I moved into my office at Atlas right across from him.”
“Uh uh uh, that is not how that day went.” Leila said, mouthing a small thank you to the waiter who returned with the check and handing you your card back. “Thank you, and please elaborate.”
“Gladly. Matt was bright red and frustrated because when moving some boxes left behind into the hallway, you backed up into him without realizing it.”
“Okay. . . and?”
“...and your skirt was short because you moved in the middle of July, did you not see the massive boner Matt popped after that?” 
“Boner? Please. That was the first time I saw him when moving in and realized we were work neighbors and upon realizing it was me is when he got all red, cut off the conversation super quick and locked himself inside his office. Probably because he was pissed to have to be around me constantly again.”
“So there’s not a chance in your head that your ass bumped his front, and once you made it clear that it was you, Matt was flustered because of his attraction towards you and shut himself off to hide that tent he was pitching?”
You rolled your eyes “Even if I did give Matt a boner, which I didn’t, guys get like 7 boners a day. So it was probably a fluke.”
“It’s actually 11, but besides the point. That’s not the only instance of Matt clearly having a thing for you.” Leila said informatively.
“Yeah sure, we could go on until this place closes going over the times where it was painfully obvious how much Matt can’t stand me and you could tell me how this is a textbook enemies to lovers story. But I’ll stick to my books, thank you very much.”
Leila let out a defeated sigh. “Let me just reiterate that if there’s one thing I’ve always noticed about Matt it’s his uncharacteristic soft spot for you. Just think about it for me, please?” she said with pleading eyes. “Yeah whatever, I’ll think about it when I’m getting drunk alone tonight at Josie’s.”
You and Leila both stood up and started to leave the restaurant after you made your promise to her, when hugging her goodbye she whispered in your ear “I’m so bringing up this conversation at your wedding during my maid of honor speech. You know, when you get married to Matt.”
“...and the moment is over. Taxi!” you said, pulling away from the hug and hailing a cab for Leila. “I’ll be manifesting it for you bestie.” she said with a smile, getting into the cab that pulled up. “Literally shut the fuck up.” she gave you a look as she closed the door and rolled down the window. “Love you too!” she said as she waved goodbye as the driver went on his way.
You took a sigh of relief, thankful that the conversation was over. But her words resonated in your head as you downed another shot hours later at Josie’s. 
‘He’s always had this uncharacteristic soft spot for you.’
There’s just no way you’ve known Matt for this long and everyone but you has seen him be soft and affectionate towards you when all you got from his behavior was raw unfiltered hate. The longer you sat on that thought, the more queasy you felt. Or maybe that was because of the rapid influx of alcohol you were putting into your system. You haven't been this shit faced in awhile.
Before you could gather your scattered thoughts enough to stand up and go home, you heard an all too familiar laugh enter the bar. You looked towards the door and saw Matt and his law partner Foggy entering the bar, mentally trying to sober up but only feeling more nauseous at the sight of your childhood crush.
Of course Matt and his blind luck, he appeared in the empty space right next to you, ordering a round of drinks without seeming to notice your presence. You were relieved until you felt a sneeze coming on, trying to suppress it but failing. A few slipping from your lips, not quietly either. Matt gazed over in your direction and you could see your very drunk reflection in his red lenses, thank god he was blind and couldn’t see how horrible you looked right now. “Bless you.” Matt said politely.
“T-thank you” you said with a slight stutter.” Matt was still looking at you, his brows now downturned as he parted his lips before speaking up again. “Y/n?” 
“Yes?” you said, a nervous feeling settling over the nausea in your gut.
“Oh, just seeing if it was you.” Matt said with a short tone. A silence falling between you two until Josie served him his drinks. 
“Soft spot my ass. . .” you trailed off as Matt grabbed his drinks, assuming he wouldn/t hear you or just disregard your words. But he stopped and turned to you. “What?” You stared at yourself again in his red glasses and let out a frustrated sigh. “I just don’t get you Murdock.”
“You don’t get me?” Matt asked, setting the drinks he had back down. 
“How-” you let out a high pitched hiccup “How do you fool everyone?”
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more specific than that sweetheart.”
“Oh drop the act, no one is around.”
Matt chuckled and stepped closer to you. “What act?”
“Acting like you don’t fucking hate me!” You said, raising your voice at him. Turning a few heads who were within earshot.
“Hate you?” Y/n I-”
“Oh please don’t stand there and try to deny it. Don't stand there and pretend you don’t get a sour taste in your mouth at the mention of my name, it’s always written across your stupid face. All my friends have this idea that you have this uncharacteristic soft spot for me but they must be drunker than me to think that you’ve ever even so much as tolerated me!” a few stray tears spilling from your eyes as emotion overcame you. Matt stood there speechless, you gave him less than a moment to speak up before grabbing your bag and getting down from the barstool you were seated at.
“You want to know what the worst part about falling in love with you was? Knowing that no matter what I did, you would never even like me. I am never going to be better to you than the dirt that you track in on the bottom of your shoes.” you spat bitterly, adjusting your purse on your shoulder as another hiccup slipped past your lips. “Let’s forget my drunken rant when we pass each other going to the office on Monday, yeah?”
You started to walk away, not able to hold back the tears any longer as you quicken your pace leaving the bar without even paying. “Y/n!” Matt called after you. “Goodnight Matthew.” you said, walking out the door and wobbling home. Looking at the time on your watch, disappointed with your state of being at only 9pm. 
You were so embarrassed by your drunken outrage at Matt that you stayed in all weekend, no calls or texts from him or anyone else. Come Monday morning you felt like no one would care if you dropped off the face of the earth, so you stayed home and didn’t even bother to call off work. Sleeping in until noon and moping around all day after that. At least before Friday you and Matt had some semblance of a fucked-up friendship, you did grow up together after all.
It was now 6:30 at night and you sat in front of the TV watching friends while having a brownie and ice cream for dinner. The healthy voice in your head said you should call your therapist, and the toxic one said you should call Matt. Before you could listen to either voice, there was a knock at your door.
You initially intended to ignore it until the knock came again and a voice called out to you “Y/n? It’s Matt.” you immediately froze, standing up and tip-toeing to the door. “I really think we need to talk.” still not responding, you placed your hand on the door knob and began to turn it. Only as you started to open the door did you remember you’d been walking around in a hoodie and underwear all day. No bra, no pants. Thank god Matt was blind.
“Hi.” you said quietly as you fully opened the door, Matt letting himself right in. “Matt, now is not really a good time.”
“How long?” Matt turned to you and asked as you closed your front door behind him. 
“What?” you asked as you turned to face him, little space left for you to distance yourself in the foyer of your apartment.
“”How long have you thought I hated you?” Matt asked in a demanding tone. You pressed your legs together anxiously, not in the mood for the conversation at hand. Opening the door again you spoke with an exhausted tone. “I am not having this conversation with you right now Matt, please leave.” but Matt startled you instead, bringing his hand up to the door and slamming it shut. Your brain didn't even have time to process how he could’ve done that, because now Matt was walking towards you until your back hit the wall.
“I asked you a question.” Matt said slowly.
“I. . . forever. I’ve thought you hated me since. . . forever.” you said softly, praying Matt wouldn’t get any closer and notice your missing garments.
“If I’ve hated you since forever, then why have I always wanted to do this?” Matt said in a tone barely above a whisper, leaning down as his breath fanned over your lips. But he stopped there, his lips mere centimeters from yours as if he was waiting for you to make the next move. You lost all resolve built up over the years as all you’ve ever wanted was right in front of you, a high pitched whine falling from your lips as you said “please” so quietly it was a miracle Matt heard you. Your eyes fell shut as a mere moment passed until Matt pressed his lips to yours.
Words can’t describe all the emotion that kiss conveyed, and yet that very kiss was a conversation you and Matt have been avoiding for decades. A conversation that said ‘I hate myself for ever letting you think for a second that I hated you.’ and ‘You have no idea how many times I’ve had this exact dream’. Apologies moved through your mouths, not even a word mumbled but all of it being understood. Both of you trying not to think about all the years lost by avoiding this kiss. A tear slipping down your cheek, Matt shifting his lips from your to your cheek, kissing it away. “I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I never hated you.” A soft smile grew on your face, that smile getting larger as you could feel something quite large growing against your bare hip.
“Then why don’t we start tonight?” You asked eagerly, hiking your leg up to allow Matt to press his growing bulge to your core. Matt chuckled in a primal way, leaning back down for a much more intense and passionate kiss.
It seemed Leila would be making that maid of honor speech after all.
A/N
Whew! Hello everyone! I have a personal goal this year to post at least one story a month so thank god I got to go home from work early today to finish this and get it posted! I have been incredibly busy with my new job lately but I absolutely love it. I now work for MAC cosmetics, my dream cosmetic company. I’ve been there for about three months and it’s a dream come true, really. I am also only 30 followers away from one-fucking-thousand! That's absolutely insane and also terrifying. I will try to do a big sleepover when I hit that milestone and I have the time! In the meantime, thank you all for reading and hope everyone's new year is going well!
Much Love,
—Skyler
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atlaese · 2 years
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around the block - m.m.
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prompt: "tourist asking for directions" summary: lost in the city that never sleeps you find the one man who shouldn't be able to help you navigate the city, yet his kindness makes everything better. pairing: reader x matt murdock   tw: meet-cute, mentions of catholicism (a little joke about a priest), pure fluff tbh! words: 2K. a/n: this is my entry for @fluffyprettykitty's 1K celebration/writing challenge. congratulations again lovie!!! <3. i highly recommend everyone to check out her blog; she's so immensely talented and has something for everyone! <3 it's been a few weeks since I wrote for matty boy, but i just had to use this prompt for him. i hope you enjoy and i very much welcome any feedback <33
p.s. dividers by @firefly-graphics  p.p.s. i now have a library blog! follow @aeristhotle to get notified when i update!
reblogs and feedback are appreciated ✨💗
matt murdock masterlist | all masterlists
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You wouldn’t say you were lost per se. Lost was a word that you used for people who didn’t know who they were. People that had gone their whole lives as someone that they weren’t, someone formed by society.
You were just a bit confused at your current location.
You were somewhere in New York, that was obvious (you would recognize those green street signs anywhere). Yet, you had no clue what borough you were in. 
In your opinion, it could either be Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens or any of the other boroughs that made New York the beautiful city it was. 
If you had prepared this impromptu day in the city better, you’d have charged your phone, brought a small map and perhaps met up with one of your friends that lived in the city.
But unfortunately, none of that happened. 
You had to be in the city for a day to attend a meeting at a publisher for one of your clients. You were an independent PR manager, your company on the brink of exponential growth and you’d do a lot for the few clients you had. Flying in for a meeting in another state was not a problem if it meant putting out a good reputation for your company. 
Once your flight arrived in the early morning hours, you got the bad news that your client came down with a sinus infection due to allergies and that the meeting was postponed until further notice. You loved spring, but the pollen really messed up your schedule.
If you had known this ahead, you’d have met up with a dear friend you knew from college, yet they too were unavailable due to a major walk-out at a client’s firm. 
And for your phone… it was honestly a piece of shit. It stopped working when the battery level hit 28% and it also had trouble charging. You needed to bend the charging cable in a certain way for it to charge. Yes, you had been electrocuted twice already. 
So there you were, all alone in New York City, less prepared than ever before.
But New Yorkers were friendly people, right?
You saw a lady pushing a stroller headed your way, her curls bouncing with every step she took as she had a determined look on her face.
“I’m sorry, can I ask something?” you spoke up, a friendly smile plastered on your face.
The woman didn’t even spare a glance as she walked on, and it was only in passing that you saw the white AirPods in her ears. 
You didn’t get discouraged though, as you spotted a man with a suit who seemed to know his way around the city.
“I’m sorry, could I trouble you for a second?”
The man looked at you with big green eyes, a deer caught in the headlights. 
“Excusez-moi, no English, je ne parle pas anglais, désolé.”
“Oh, sorry,” you muttered, embarrassment flooding your entire being. This whole day had morphed from a normal business trip into something where nothing went right. It felt like the equivalent of walking around with socks only to then step into a puddle of water. It wasn’t a nice feeling. 
The only positive thing about today might have been the weather.
Summer had just arrived in New York. It was the time just before the pressing heat that would make the city feel like a bubble that was about to burst. There was a light breeze for you to enjoy, the sun’s beams were warming your skin, making you wish you could read your book in the shade of a tree in Central Park. These were the days that made hauling a book with you every day worth it.
Yet, as much as you wished to go there, you had absolutely no idea how to get there.
You stood in front of a church and you had a few options here. You could go inside and bother the priest for directions (would that count as blasphemy?), or you could bother the sunglasses-wearing man that was sitting on the bench next to the entrance. 
Your choice was quickly made. No need to bother the man of faith when you could bother the handsome stranger with a slight scruff and perfectly coiffed hair. 
The man didn’t react as you sat down next to him, his suit in a crisp state as he seemed to just be enjoying the nice weather during his lunch break.
“I’m so sorry to bother you,” you said, an apologetic look on your face, “but I’m a little lost, do you know where exactly we are?”
The man tilted his head your way in confusion, he could have been daydreaming and hadn’t even noticed you sitting down.
“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!”
“It’s fine,” he said, licking his lips and sitting up a bit straighter. “We’re in Hell’s Kitchen at the moment, but hearing your accent I’ve got a feeling you’re not familiar with the place.”
You let out a little scoff but laughed nonetheless.
“You’ve got a good ear, I am indeed not really familiar with the boroughs, unfortunately. I just need to find my way to Central Park.”
“Got something to do in Central Park?” he inquired, tilting his head in question. His glasses were tinted in a dark colour, not giving any sign of what colour eyes would be hidden behind them. 
“I was just gonna read a bit in the shade before going back to my hotel,” you said. “My meeting was cancelled last minute so now I have the day to spend here.”
“The quintessential New Yorker experience,” he nodded, a ghost of a smile painted on his lips. “Can’t say I wouldn’t do the same.”
You smiled at his remark, happy that the native New Yorker wouldn’t shun you for doing something like that. 
“Anyway, I have some time to spare, I can walk with you to the park,” he said, quickly looking at the church’s entrance. 
“Oh, really? That would honestly make my day!”
The day really had done a 180 spin. At this point, you were grateful to get directions, so the fact that he would walk you all the way back made you want to hug him. 
You stood up from the bench, failing to hide the smile on your face. Well, he deserved to know how happy this made you. 
But then, your smile faltered a bit. Or a lot even, the smile replaced by your jaw that had gone slack. 
The man had stood up as well, his sunglasses still perched on his nose, his bag slung over his one shoulder and a white cane in his opposite hand. 
A white cane, which was first folded up and laying next to him, was an inconspicuous item that you hadn’t even noticed in your rush to find your current location. 
Maybe that was the moment you felt truly lost. Lost in your subconscious, perhaps, because you really needed to pay attention to your surroundings.
“Oh,” you let out, shaking your head in confusion and gesturing for him to let it be, that you’d ask someone else.
“Are you gesturing right now?” he asked, a sly smile on his lips as his tongue wet them once more. 
Was he… was he laughing at you? Laughing at the confusion that surrounded you, the fact that the one thing you shouldn’t do in front of a blind person was to gesture?
“Yeah, I am so incredibly sorry,” you apologized. If a small thundercloud would come floating above your head and let the rain pour down on only you, you wouldn’t even mind. It could be karma.
“It’s okay, really,” he laughed, “I can still show you the way, I’m quite the navigator.”
He held out his left arm, a welcoming smile on his face.
“Take my arm and then we’ll walk to the park together.”
“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to do something out of your comfort zone.”
“My name is Matt Murdock and my comfort zone encompasses the whole of New York City, just accept my help.”
You laughed at his confident nature and introduction and loosely wrapped your right arm around his left as you let your name softly slip past your lips.
“So, y/n, what do you do that makes you come to the city?”
Matt started walking, a steady rhythm of thumps on the concrete as his cane hit the ground. You fell into step with him, a comfortable tread that was just fast enough for the both of you.
“I’m in PR,” you explained, “I was only supposed to be here today for a meeting, but my client got sick.”
“And you decided to go out on an adventure?”
“Yeah, but unfortunately I wasn’t very well prepared,” you laughed. “But it seems that my day was made a million times better now that I’ve got my own personal guide!”
Matt laughed, and for the whole way to the park, you talked about everything and nothing.
Matt explained his job, hence why he was dressed so fancily and why he could just take a two-hour lunch. 
You told him about your dreams of owning a bigger company & he told you about his colleague and best friend, Foggy. 
“Well, according to my memory, we should be at the park,” Matt announced as you rounded the corner. “Could you confirm that we are indeed at an entrance?”
“Affirmative,” you said, softly squeezing his bicep in excitement. “Does it make me a horrible human if I told you I’m glad my client called in sick?”
A laugh rumbled up through his chest, making him softly shake as you glanced up at him. The rays of the sun were hitting his face just right, giving a small glimpse at the eyes that were a little less hidden beneath the sunglasses. They seemed to be a beautiful brown, with thick lashes framing them. 
“It doesn’t, not in my professional opinion at least.”
You slowly unwrapped yourself from his arm, signalling that this was the point where your ways would part. 
“Thank you, Matt, really, I still would have been walking around Hell’s Kitchen like a chicken without a head without you.”
“It’s not a problem, I enjoyed this… little walk with you,” he smiled, tilting his head down in response. “I’m glad I met you.”
“I’m glad my distress makes you happy,” you joked. “No, I’m kidding I’m really glad I met you, too.”
“Unfortunately, I have to get back to my office, but next time you’re in the city you might want to get lost in Hell’s Kitchen again.”
“Lost in front of the church, where a man is sitting on a bench?”
Matt nodded as he got his phone out of his bag and held it out to you. 
“I’d love it if you wanted to give me your number? You’d never be lost in the city again, I swear.”
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Matt turned out to be right.
You got to know each other even better through the lengthy late-night phone calls and quick e-mails during lunch. During the late evenings in your office, you put each other on speaker to have some company - you would be working on a campaign and he would be preparing his opening statements for a case.
The publisher in New York decided to get you on retainer, meaning that you had to be in the city at least twice a month. It also meant that you got to be with each other a lot more.
And in the end, you really never got lost in that city again, because he was always there to guide you around the block. 
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nevarrhoe · 2 years
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mea culpa (m.m) - five
SUMMARY: “mea culpa” (exclamation - noun/legal term)
used as an acknowledgement of one’s fault or error.
↪ in which matt murdock accidentally falls in love with the district attorney’s daughter. (masterlist + playlist)
warnings: afab reader/fem pronouns, age gap, swearing, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, p in v (because i have finally given u smut after several parts without <3)
MINORS DNI - this has been clearly marked as having explicit content and with these clear warnings in place, you are reading this whilst being aware of said content
apologies again for the massive gap between parts! i genuinely have no excuse lmao aside from the fact i was depressed and working lots. enjoy xx
-jazz xx
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It didn’t take long to get used to life without Matthew Murdock.
He’d been important to you and then he wasn’t. People came and went all the time - you had ex-boyfriends and ex-best friends and a multitude of relationships that had been significant until they weren’t. You wouldn’t go as far as calling Matt your boyfriend but that didn’t erase the fact there had been a connection. That was what you missed most: having somebody who got you the way he did. And it was funny, because the string of insults he’d thrown your way during your last conversation proved him to be everything but someone who understood you. It had been a weak moment for you both and maybe if there had been more at stake - if you’d been the same age, or things were more serious, or your lives more intertwined then you could have moved on from it. That was just it though: it was just a fling. And it had to end eventually. 
Two weeks later, you’d fallen back into your natural routine of shopping and drinking and enjoying a privileged existence. Now, however, you were spending more time at the office: not necessarily helping your father, but just running errands and doing paperwork. You told yourself over and over that it wasn’t anything to do with what Matt had said. Say it a few more times and maybe you’d start to believe it. 
“So Harrison is single again,” your best friend’s voice filled the void of your father’s office. She was sat on the edge of your desk, filing her nails whilst you did your paperwork. “His ex-girlfriend cheated on him so he’s selling his place in London and moving back here. I can give him your number if you want.”
You tried not to visibility flinch at the mere thought. Even though your affair with Matt had proved to be anything but successful, the idea of ever going back to a guy your own age was a little too much. What was the point? They were all immature, trust fund babies who couldn’t fuck properly and definitely wouldn’t treat you right. And you weren’t looking for commitment - not at that point in your life. You just needed someone who could make you laugh and make you orgasm. That had seemed impossible to find. At least until Matt.
“Mmm,” you hummed. “No, I’m good. Harrison and I never really got on that well.”
“Oh, come on!” she groaned. “He’s hurting right now so you know he’ll probably put out-”
“- I’m not interested!” you cut her off. “I’m just not really looking for anything right now. I wanna focus on work.”
“Doing paperwork for free at your dad’s office doesn’t count as work,” she huffed. 
“Yeah, whatever,” you muttered. “I have an appointment now anyways, so if you could make yourself scarce I would really appreciate it.”
“Fiiiine,” she grumbled. “Are you coming to cocktails tonight at the Rainbow Room?”
“I’ll see.”
She stood up and sauntered out of the room - just in time, actually, because your 4PM appointment was waiting right outside. You tried not to visibly react to seeing Matt; somehow, you’d avoided crossing paths with him around the courthouse thus far. It was bound to happen eventually but you felt a lot worse about it than you initially thought. 
“Mr Murdock,” you greeted him, holding your professionalism until the door was closed and your friend was out of earshot. When she was, you faltered slightly. He had a strong presence after all. 
“Hey, sweetheart,” Matt took a deep breath, putting aside his cane. 
“Look, Matthew, I can reschedule this appointment when my father’s back in town, or when his assistant can take it instead-”
“- I scheduled it for today on purpose, actually,” he admitted. “I wanted to talk to you.”
You scowled. “And did you consider that maybe I don’t want to talk to you?”
“Yeah, that was definitely a possibility I thought about,” he said. “But you are talking to me, so that gives me hope.”
You paused for a second - Matt did have a point. If you truly hated him, you probably would have ignored him from the get-go. You were furious with the man, without a doubt, but some part of you still held onto the way he’d made you feel before the fuck up. He’d said all those things in the heat of the moment, but you couldn’t shake the fact he still said them. 
“I’m getting on with my life,” you said. “I’m over it. You should do the same.”
“I tried,” Matt replied. “I already regretted the things I said-”
“- why?” you cut him off. “You had a point, Matt. I’m a spoilt little rich girl and you’re a working class lawyer. We’ll never see eye to eye or understand each other. No amount of good fucking will change that.”
He hesitated for a second. “I think you’re wrong.”
“Oh?”
“You were right about the Thompson case, though,” he admitted. “The defendant changed his plea last week.”
“Right,” you murmured. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, me too,” he shrugged. “I’m more sorry about the things I said, though. I take my job very seriously and there are times where it gets in the way of other important things - more important things.”
“I’m a girl you slept with a few times. I wouldn’t hold myself in that high regard.”
He gave you a small smile. “You should - I’m not here to declare my love for you or ask for your hand in marriage but I didn’t realise til you weren’t in my life that you meant more to me than a silly argument.”
“I do?’
“You do,” Matt replied. “All those things I said…none of them matter. I might be right, I might not be, but even if you’re the most spoiled, aloof rich girl in this city, you’re the girl I’d choose over any other.”
You stood up and crossed over to where Matt was stood - he reached out for you as you met halfway, large hands taking your waist as you crashed your lips against his. You’d missed his palms; they were calloused and rough and rugged but fuck, they held you so well. Same for his lips. He bit them when he was anxious so they were always a little indurated but they felt right against yours. 
After that little speech of his, things felt a little more…intense. It had just been a fling before but now it felt like something more.
“You sure do how to sweet talk a girl into forgiving you, huh?” you murmured against him. 
“I really don’t,” Matt replied, and you felt his chest shake slightly as he chuckled. “I practiced that speech like fifty times on the way over here.”
“It worked,” you smiled. Taking a step back, you locked the office door and then tangled your hands with Matt’s, leading him over to the sofa on the other side of the room. “But I think we should talk things through a little bit.”
Matt took a seat opposite you. “Yeah, of course.”
“We need to set boundaries,” you explained. “We’re very different people and I just…I need to know that we can deal with those differences if they come up again, you know? We can’t argue it out every time and now that we’ve established this is a little more than a one night stand-”
“- you don’t have to decide what it is yet,” he cut you off. “I know things are different for you - you’re younger and your entire life is different from mine. When you do know, you just say, okay?”
You smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Of course, I appreciate that.”
“And I know that we’re different,” Matt said. “I like that about us. If it does come up again, we’ll dealt with it. Not like the first time we dealt with it, but we will.”
He pulled you into another kiss; this one was a little deeper, a little more passionate. There was no guesses on where it was leading, and you had to quickly remind yourself that you were still in your father’s office. Not that you hadn’t fantasised about this multiple times. You weren’t opposed to it - not by any means - but you worried Matt might have his reservations about getting off in such a public place.
You almost said something, but when he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you onto his lap, any worries quickly dissipated. Previously, neither of you had worked this fast. There was normally build up - a bit of teasing and fliritng, even if you both knew where it was going to go - but after two of nothing, neither of you cared much for foreplay (in both a literal and metaphorical sense). 
Matt pushed you back onto the sofa so you were laying flat, attaching his lips to your neck. You almost let out a moan, until he clamped a large hand over your mouth. Thinking ahead, as always. He didn’t waste any more time in taking off your blouse and skirt. He was a little more careful than usual, being aware that you’d have to put them back on after.  That didn’t stop him throwing them across the room. There was a little more fumbling and finally his shirt came off too. 
“Matt,” you murmured. “Those marks on your chest-”
“- they’re nothing,” he growled. 
“Matt.”
The lawyer huffed - he wasn’t about to get cockblocked after two weeks of not seeing you. 
“I fell,” Matt muttered. “I was drunk and I fell. Will you take that story?”
“I will take it simply for the sake of the fact your boner is pressing against my thigh,” you replied. “But I’ll have questions later-”
“- works with me.”
He went back to work, lips on your neck, then collarbone, and chest, and then your neck again. The marks he’d left on you after your last fuck had faded and he was determined to leave more. He was still careful though, making sure they were in places no-one else would see. If you went into this meeting with no visible hickeys, you’d have to leave without them. Y’know, for continuity. 
You moved your hands down, fiddling with the buckle on his belt until it came loose and you were able to reach a hand down and brush it over his dick. He shivered when you did: even though he had the feeling of you memorised - your hands, your mouth, everything - it was still something he had craved over the last few weeks. 
Matt grabbed you again, and you let out a squeak as he flipped you over. He was underneath now - you still in control no doubt, with one hand on your throat and the other on your ass - with you on top. That had become one of his favourite positions. It gave him easy access to everything. 
Placing both his hands on your ass cheeks, he pulled you forward and slipped inside you. It took you a minute to revel on the feeling: after all, this time an hour ago, you weren’t sure you would ever feel this good again. And some petty part of you still wanted to punish Matt, so you held out on moving for as long as you could. It was easy enough until he grabbed you by the throat again, pulling you towards him so that your foreheads were pushed together.
“Ride,” he demanded. 
You did as he said, moving your hips back and forth. Your groans were simultaneously, but both surpressed given the…envrionment. Normally, you were noisy as fuck and Matt would encourage it. At the moment, you couldn’t work out if him squeezing your throat every time you let out a groan was praise or punishment. Either was fine. 
Matt’s free hand moved about, sometimes on your ass, sometimes on your tits, and ever so often lingering on your clit. If he’d had more time, he would have teased you more but given the noise and time constraint, he kept it simple. That was funny to you, because his idea of simple was still a thousand times more mindblowing than any other man you’d ever been with.
He hit the right spot over and over and it wasn’t long until you could feel something building up in the pit of your stomach. That might have been a new record. You could barely think straight as you rode him, hands leaving bright red scratches up and down his toned arms. It was only egging him on.
Even when your high hit you, completely disabling your ability to think and ripping through your frontal lobe like a bucket of cold fucking water, Matt kept going. He wasn’t far off, and the load moan you let out when you came brought him even closer. 
“You need to be quiet,” he teased, hand squeezing your throat as you let out another groan. 
Matt followed not long after you. Rather than covering his mouth, he buried his head in your shoulder, teeth pinching at your bare skin as he let out a low grunt. You tangled a hand in his hair, arm wrapping around his neck to bring him up into a kiss. 
“You’re amazing,” he murmured. “Is it safe to say that we’re all good?”
“Yeah,” you replied. “You’re forgiven.”
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m4tthewmurd0ck · 2 years
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𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧 ~ 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐱 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞) 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
【 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 】
click *HERE* to be taken to the table of contents!
word count: 1.3k (((super short chapter but i didn’t know where to end it without making it tooo long. next one is longer and will be posted tomorrow morning to make up for it!!)))
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     BACK AT MATT’S APARTMENT, YOU INSIST ON BEING THE ONE TO COOK FOR HIM. With everything going on, you realize that you never did get to cook for him and Foggy. And despite the lingering tension between the 2 of you, you still want to do that for him. You end up calling Foggy and Karen to ask if they want to join you, but he declines for both of them, saying he’s going out again with her.
After a minute of back-and-forth, Matt finally agrees to let you do the cooking, admitting that he has missed it. Once he heads off to take a shower, you look through his cabinets, pulling out a few pots and pans. Glancing at the time on your phone, you realize it’s later than you thought, so you settle for making something quick.
By the time he exits the bathroom, the noodles are already done cooking, and you’ve just finished chopping up the tomatoes, putting them into a pan on the stove to make the sauce.
Matt takes a seat, and just listens to the sounds of you moving throughout his kitchen. He loves that he can sense your intense concentration, and thinks it’s cute that you quietly hum to yourself while you work. Though he suspects that you’re doing it absentmindedly, so as much as he wants to stand by you to hear you better, he stays quiet.
“On your left,” you approach, holding out a spoon with a little bit of the sauce on it, “try this”.
Although you don’t specify out loud what he’s trying, he can smell it as he leans forward and tries the sauce. “Perfect.”
You laugh, “I have a feeling you’d say that even if it tasted disgusting.”
“What can I say? You’re the best cook I know.” Matt gets up and grabs 2 bowls from a kitchen cabinet, and you grab 2 forks from one of the drawers. Neither of you comment on how intimate this moment feels. If Matt lets his imagination run wild, he can pretend that this is a regular occurrence. And if you do the same, you can pretend that things are normal, without the secrets and tension.
For the first few minutes, you’re both silent as you eat. You’re the first one to speak up, admitting that you didn’t even realize how hungry you were until you took that first bite.
That’s enough to break the silence, and Matt asks about work after another minute. “How’s all the planning coming?”
“Well apart from sketching the layout, which you heard how well that was going, honestly pretty good. Simon is trusting me with a lot so I just want to make sure that everything’s perfect. I’ve been working longer hours to get everything done faster.”
“When does he come back to town?”
You think for a moment, then remember part of the conversation you had with him. “Umm, oh! He’s actually coming back early. Said he’d be in to the gallery sometime tomorrow afternoon. And then he mentioned that he’d send me home early for some much needed rest because I’ve been working nonstop, so that’ll be really nice.”
You yawn twice in the span of a few minutes, and Matt picks up your bowls and forks, taking everything to the sink. “You can go shower, I’ll do the dishes.” He gives you a quick kiss on the forehead before turning to the sink, and you hope you’re not blushing as much as you feel like you are.
Just a few minutes later as you’re standing under the hot water, you think about life’s recent events. And unsurprisingly, your thoughts turn to Matt. Tonight, these little moments, they feel so… normal.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Matt’s thoughts have turned to you. During the few days where you weren’t speaking, he felt awful. And he missed you so much more than he cared to admit. Even if Karen hadn’t said anything about having lunch with you and how you would be working late by yourself, he was still going to go over and see you at the gallery anyway.
Luckily for both of you, Foggy bought Matt’s excuse of you being extremely busy, and that was why you hadn’t come by. You didn’t even want to think about what conclusions your brother might jump to if he knew that you weren’t coming by because of Matt.
As Matt moved to the couch to wait for you, he also thought about almost kissing you. But that wasn’t a surprise, because that moment was constantly on his mind since the moment that it happened. Knowing you were going to be spending the night again, he forced those thoughts from his mind.
The hurt that he caused you was crystal clear. And he knew that most of it could be explained if he just let you in on that other part of his life. But knowing the danger you’d be in, he decided that he couldn’t tell you yet. The flip side to that, however, was that he knew that waiting longer just meant you’d be more hurt when you found out how long he’d been lying to you.
Someday, he would tell you everything. That much was a given. You were someone that Matt knew he’d need in his life forever, and there was no version of that happening in which he didn’t tell you.
“Matt?” He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even hear the bathroom door open.
“Are you okay?” You take a seat next to him on the couch, studying his facial expression. He was so quiet when you walked out of the bathroom, that for a brief moment, you panicked.
“Yeah, sorry just deep in thought.”
“Come on, you need rest too.”
Matt chuckles, “that your way of saying I look tired?”
You don’t answer, instead standing up and walking to his bedroom. Once you’re under the covers, you count in your head to see how long it takes Matt to work out that you’re no longer in the room. You always forget how good his hearing is, though. Of course he knew the moment you stood up.
Eventually, Matt follows after you. He slips his shirt off over his head and places it at the foot of his side of the bed. Before he lays down though, he pauses, reaching over to grab his shirt again.
“What are you doing?” You look at him, already starting to fall asleep.
“Sorry. Habit. I don’t, uh, want to make you uncomfortable so—” He holds his shirt up.
You laugh, and he swears that there’s no better sound. “Matthew Murdock, such a gentleman. It’s fine, you can sleep with your shirt off. I’m too tired to make a move on you anyway,” you mumble. It’s then Matt realizes how tired you must be.
He puts the shirt back down and finally slips under the covers. “Goodnight.” He stops himself from adding sweetheart to the end of that sentence.
“Night Matty.”
While you fall asleep after just a couple more minutes, Matt lays wide awake. Going over everything that happened recently, the memories playing in his mind on a constant loop.
As he listens to the sound of your heartbeat, he waits until he’s sure you’re in a deep sleep. When he carefully gets out of bed and you don’t even stir, he lets out a small sigh of relief.
More than anything, he wants to just stay in bed and lay right next to you. Maybe even pull you close and hold you all night as you both sleep. He wants to lay there and imagine a future with you.
But unfortunately, he isn’t just Matt Murdock. And the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen still has some unfinished business to take care of.
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all character tags: @jaywalkingape​
everything matt tags: @starry-night-20​, @hatred-love​, @spectorfilms​
burn series tag(s): @kik51199​
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mattmurdocksdumpy · 2 years
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okay guys ,,
don’t hate me
rn the only thing in my head is eddie munson
so i will be writing for eddie too
oop
i am also working on steven stuff !! i’m just hella exhausted from finals week
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thatboisus · 3 months
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“english isn’t my first langua—“ say no more.
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fixforthesoul · 6 months
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OPEN LETTER TO FANFICTION WRITERS ON ACCESSIBILITY; PLEASE READ.
first of all, thank you for spending your time, seldom acknowledged and definitely deserving of a compensation you are not receiving, to entertain us. i’m speaking on behalf of more than just blind readers, but everyone. you’re sick as hell.
i’ve summoned you to provide some information you may not already know. i know a lot of you like fonts. especially those who cross post their work on wattpad. i admire any and all acts of aestheticism to a degree, and can understand the desire to use them. (blind folk, sorry y’all. momma’s making a point.) 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔣𝔣 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰, it’s cute. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 is a little cuter to me, if i had to choose. or maybe 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈?
now, sighted folk: if you’re on mobile, i implore you to participate in a little exercise for me. select this text and scroll through all the copy/paste/define/‘search the web’ options until you get to the speak portion. if you need to change a setting for your phone to do so, would you mind? i’d really appreciate it.
please make your phone read aloud part of my post, and be sure to include any bits with those super cute fonts. 𝕚’𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒, 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖. 𝕚 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕝𝕪, 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕪𝕡𝕠𝕤 𝕚 𝕔𝕒𝕟’𝕥 𝕤𝕖𝕖.
whether you participated and discovered it for yourself or you thought this was a crock of shit you’d rather not sniff, i’ll tell you! screen readers cannot dictate words using those fonts. at least, on a majority of devices. not mine, or any of my mutuals elsewhere.
you do not have to change your behavior on my behalf, but please be aware that fonts limit access to your work.
blind readers do exist, i exist, and i am bound by the same feelings of dogged longing that make other sad horny bitches read angsty, smutty, father-wounded nonsense.
thanks for making it this far. i really hope my sincerity is being conveyed, reading makes me so happy and i’m not the only person on this app who relies on accessibility settings more often than not. do with this information what you will, and have the day you deserve!
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allllium · 3 months
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Hey, can I make a Matt x Reader request. Reader is a doctor and lives with Matt one evening Matt comes home with Spiderman who needs help. You become surrogate parents for Peter and think about adopting him since he's a son to both of you anyway.
Peter
~ Sorry this took me so long to get to. I had something written at some point but ended up scraping it 😭
~ Fluff, Maybe a little angst bc Peter is hurt at the beginning?
~ WC: 1,536
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~ Matt brings home a kid ~
Being with Matt you've learned always to expect the unexpected. Matt has a heart of gold, always doing everything he can to help those in need. It's a good thing you're the same way. You wouldn't be a doctor if you didn't have the urge to help people but sometimes Matt, in your opinion, helps people that don't help him far too often.
However, one thing you didn't expect was for your wonderful boyfriend to come home with a kid. Okay maybe not kid, he's about sixteen years old, but that's still way younger than you or Matt. And way too young to be doing what he does.
When Matt brings home the kid, the first thing you do is freeze for a second. Who is this kid? How did he get hurt? How does Matt know him? Why is he in your apartment bleeding? 
You're quickly pushed out of your thoughts when Matt helps the kid onto the couch and looks to you for help. You immediately jump in, using your doctor skills to the best of your ability. Both he and your boyfriend stay silent the whole time. Matt stays sitting in an armchair to the side, obviously stressed by whatever happened. 
It takes a while to patch up the kid, whose name you still don't know, but as soon as you're finished, he falls asleep on the couch and allows you time to discuss this strange situation with Matt. 
Why is it that he stays silent the whole time you're busy helping the kid but the second you're ready to talk he runs off to the kitchen, not exactly running off as the kitchen is right there, but still?
“Matt. Explain?” You don't know what to say or ask. A million questions are running through your head as you follow him to the kitchen. 
“His name's Peter.” He hesitates to continue. “He's spiderman, that's how he got hurt.” 
“What? He's a child!” How the hell is a teenager Spiderman? 
“Yeah, I know that's why I've been keeping an eye on him.” He says as if it's the most casual thing ever. As if he didn't just bring me a beaten-up sixteen-year-old to fix up. 
“What do you mean keeping an eye on him? Do you listen to him?” You turn back to the living room and collapse in a chair. 
“No, he lives too far away. I just mean that I call him and check up on him.” His voice is quiet, careful not to wake the sleeping kid. “I met him a few weeks ago.” 
“When you were in Queens? Is that why you left?” A couple of weeks ago, Matt spent a few days in Queens for a new client he met. He never said much about it and you never asked. You never wanted to invade his clients' privacy and you weren't sure he could tell you about it anyway. 
“Yeah actually.” He doesn't say anymore and for some reason, you don't ask. Not sure if you want to know the reasons this kid, Peter you now know, could be in danger. You know Matt can handle himself so most of the time you try not to worry yourself but this is a young kid, that you can almost guarantee doesn't have anywhere near the amount of fighting training Matt had. 
After a few hours of making sure he was okay on the couch, and convincing Matt to stay in for the night, you both decide to head to bed. 
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You wake up the next morning to loud crashing noises from the kitchen. You automatically know it's not Matt because one he is a terrible cook and two he is still lying in bed with an arm over your waist. So Peter must have woken up from his injury-induced slumber and started cooking because he's hungry? 
You reluctantly throw yourself out of bed. Despite getting plenty of sleep you feel anything but well rested. As you head out of the bedroom you see Peter wearing the old clothes Matt put out for him and trying to cook something in the kitchen. From the smell of it, he's probably not the best cook either.
“Good morning.” You greet him, coming into the kitchen and leaning against the counter. He whips around to look at you in surprise, he clearly doesn't have the same super senses as Matt.
“Oh uh, good morning!” He tries his best to sound cheerful but his voice has an underlying tone of shock and awkwardness. “Sorry for waking you up. I know taking of someone you don't know so late at night isn't the best, so I thought I would make you and Matt some breakfast to try and make up for it. I'm Peter by the end.” You stay silent as he falls into an awkward ramble. 
“Hi Peter I'm y/n. And you don't have to worry about making it up to us, we were happy to help. Plus I deal with this stuff all the time.”
“Right, you're a doctor! Matt told me about that.” He puts down all the stuff he was “cooking” and leans along the counter with you. 
“Oh, he talks about me?” 
“Well, it was that or all the people we've fought as masked superheroes.” He shrugs. 
“Superhero? Aren't you a little young to be fighting like you do?” 
“Maybe but if I can help people why wouldn't I?” 
“You could always be selfish and use your powers for yourself.” You tell him out of both curiosity and the fact that if you had any kind of powers you can't guarantee you would use them to help anyone else.
“Yeah, I guess.” And just like you both stop talking. Waiting in silence for Matt to wake up before you order breakfast.
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Peter stayed with you guys for a little over a week while you made sure he was fully healed from his injuries. Before long he was going back home to Queens to whoever he lives with. You know from one brief conversation that his parents are gone, he never said how or who he stays with now but that's not any of your business. 
He comes over almost every week now for dinner, one of the only nights a week you and Matt cook instead of ordering takeout. You have the feeling Matt has imprinted on Peter, kind of like a baby duck. Maybe it's because they’re so similar. They can relate to each other in a way Foggy and Karen can’t. Well, Frank can but he and Matt don’t exactly get along. 
Today is one of the days that he’s gonna be coming over for dinner. You and Matt are in the kitchen making a new pasta dish. 
“So I wanted to ask you a question?” Matt suddenly tells you, while in the middle of stirring the pasta sauce. 
“You know you don't have to ask to ask a question right?” It doesn't matter how many times you say it, Matt will always warn you before asking a question. Most likely because he's worried about bothering you.
He lets out a deep chuckle. “I know, sweetheart, but I'm worried you'll say no.”
“I doubt it. What is it?”
“You know how Peter lives with his aunt right?” He pulls the finished sauce off the stove so he can put his full attention on you.
“I knew he lived some family member, yes. Why?” You’re very curious as to where this is going. 
“Well, she’s getting older and I thought maybe he could come and stay with us for a while.” Not what you expected him to ask.
“Matt, I would say yes to that if I could see how it would work. We don't have the room.” You shrug. You would love to help Peter out but you don’t think he would like living on the couch for at least a year. 
“That’s why I'm asking you. You always know what to do with these things.” If he means the way you freak out thinking of every possible solution and pretend to know what you’re doing then yeah, you are a master at it.
“I don't know, Matty. There is about a year and a half before he goes to college, there is no way he’ll be comfortable here for that long.”
“I know. Believe me, I’ve been thinking of a way this could work. I just don’t want him to be alone.” 
“He won’t be. Even if he can’t live here he’s always welcome.” And just by saying that you come up with the perfect idea. 
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A few weeks later it worked. Somehow everything magically fell into place. At the end of your previous conversation about it, you told Matt how great it would be if Peter could have his own apartment close to yours and magically one became available in the same building. Being sixteen, Peter obviously couldn't pay for the place himself but you were able to help out, having some extra money due to being a good doctor. 
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Matt comes up to you. “You didn’t have to do that.” 
“Eh, you’re rubbing off on me.” You grumble with a fake annoyance.
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dameronology · 8 months
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be still (matt murdock)
summary: matt is the only one who he'll let get close when he has a bad day
warnings: just language ig
sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for months and not writing a single thing. this might be my comback, or all you will get for another year. we'll see! love u all.
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To the rest of the world, Matt Murdock was hard to read.
To you, he was like your favourite book. One you’d read a thousand times; with a plot line you knew like the back of your hand. Every bump on his skin; every raised scar and jagged red wound from his night shifts; you knew the story behind them all. The long pink line on his back was fall out from a fight with the Yakuza two years back. The deep, sunken jag on his right hand was from an unfortunate incident when he was chopping up some vegetables two years ago. I might have super senses, he’d joked, but there are some things you just need sight for.
Matt’s emotions were no different. There were days when even Foggy wasn’t sure what he was thinking – whether his stony face was from boredom or anger, or whether his smile was happiness or just a slightly misshapen grimace. With a life as complicated as his, it wasn’t surprising that Matt came with the feeling to match. In the early days of your relationship, it was something you’d struggled with, but now you knew his signals and his tells. You could see a bad mood coming from a mile off, almost like a thunderstorm on a summer day. Equally, you knew his good moods from the way he would greet you brightly in the morning, or his anxious ones from the way he held your hand. They weren’t always easy to forecast but at least it made things a little more predictable.
A cold Tuesday morning in the fall was no different. September had just come, bringing with it shorter days and colder nights. The tension in your bedroom was high from the moment you woke up – actually, it had been since the small hours of the morning. Matt had come crashing in without a word, gear ditched to the floor. Any questions of his wellbeing or how his night had been ignored as he passed out beside you, back turned the other way. His snores had been the first thing you’d heard from him that night – not a single word, not even a grunt. You could feel an invisible line down the middle of the bed. It wasn’t one you wanted to cross.
You woke up naturally with the daylight- perks of it being a Sunday, you figured (though not a silver lining. Today didn’t feel like a day to be looking for those). Matt was still, tired body heaving with deep breaths as he slept. It was hard to shake the feeling of anxiety that had snuck its way into your stomach; butterflies now felt like wasps and any previous inclination you’d had to reach out to him had died with the hope of him waking up before you and apologising.
“Dickhead,” you muttered.
(You knew he would hear you).
Still, you knew something was up. Even if he’d projected it onto you by swatting your hands away last night and completely blanking you, something was up. It took a moment of building up the courage in your head, but as Matt let out a yawn and rolled over, you quickly moved to snuggle into his side. His hands were on his front, so you made a second attempt to tangle your fingers with his. He didn’t comply, but he didn’t resist either. You stayed like that for a moment, until his dark eyes shot open, and he let out a heavy sigh.
You could have pretended to still be asleep, purely just to avoid dealing with the situation, but who were you fooling? The man was like a human sonar. He would know immediately from your breathing that you were awake. Plus, your not-so-quiet insult just moments earlier didn’t exactly align with something you could brush off as sleep talk.
Matt sat up, blinking for a moment. Any other morning, he would have pulled you into him; pressed a kiss to your forehead and held you tight. Not today, though. He snatched his hand away from yours and shrugged you off, pattering across the wooden floor out the bedroom and to the bathroom. The door slammed and a second later, you heard the spattering of the shower.
You stayed there for a second, heart thumping in your chest and heard swirling with thoughts. Why was he being shitty? Was it your fault? No, you told yourself. It wasn’t fair on you to jump to those conclusions. If he had a problem, it was on him to tell you. You’d made it clear from day one that you hated guessing games. Guess Who was one thing but Guess Why I’m Angry At You had no winners.
The water eventually stopped. Rather than coming back through to the bedroom as he normally would, there was silence. You frowned for a moment – what the fuck was he doing? Was he actually that intent on avoiding you?
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, swinging your legs out of bed and heading out of the bedroom. Matt was the first thing you saw in the living room, skin still covered in droplets of water from the sofa, butt fuck naked. He had a file open in front of him, callous fingers following over the braille as he read it, barely pausing to acknowledge your presence. You could have made a comment about him getting your thousand-dollar sofa wet, even a joke, but that didn’t feel like the right play.
“Hey,” you said.
No answer.
“I have to ask,” you continued, crossing the room and taking a seat beside him. Not close enough for your legs to be touching, but close enough that he knew you were there. “Have I done something?”
“No,” he murmured. “I’m just tired.”
His voice was barely above a whisper – barely even there. Something was seriously wrong.
“Okay,” you hummed.
You stayed like that for a moment – even though you could predict Matt’s mood, you couldn’t always predict what he wanted. If you touched him, would he flinch, or would the front come down? It was like hugging a nuclear bomb, even if the idea of his temper coming out on you was unfathomable.
“Do you want a coffee?” you gently asked.
Another pause.
“Yeah. I could do with a coffee.”
Trying to keep your nerves feigned, you crossed the room to the kitchen, hands working automatically. Kettle filled, turned on, two mugs out. One sugar and a tiny bit of milk for Matt, and then two sugars and no milk for you. He liked the blue mug, because it was easier to hold, and you preferred the purple one because it was the same shade of violet as the dress Taylor wore on the front of Speak Now. You’d brought it in a clearance sale when you and Matt just started seeing each other, and it was one of the first things you actually kept at his apartment.
You returned to the sofa, placing the coffee on the table in front of you. There was still no word from Matthew – not even a hm in place of a thank you.
“You’re worrying me,” you murmured.
Blanked.
Rolling your eyes – and finally getting sick of his head – you whacked the file out his hands and collapsed into his side. He didn’t immediately respond, but a moment later, his hand came down to touch your thigh. He gave your leg a squeeze, and you felt a minute bit of tension rise from the room. Not all of it, but the physical touch was enough to know that things would be okay.
You stayed like that for a moment, before wrapping your arms around him completely. You fell back into the sofa, letting Matt collapse into your chest. His hair was still wet from the shower, skin sticking to yours from where he was still drying, but you didn’t give a shit. You just wanted to hold him, hands roaming over his tense back, stopping on his shoulder blades and using your grip to pull him closer.
“Let’s go back to bed,” you said. “Just for a little while.”
He didn’t resist as you took his hand, tangling your fingers together and leading him back to the bedroom. Matt was hot on your heels, like a lost puppy now, and there was barely a second between you falling back first onto the bed and him following you. His entire body was on yours, legs tangling into a web and arms digging underneath your torso to hug you, head buried in your shoulder. He was limp – almost completely void of emotion.
Whatever barrier Matt had been putting up was gone, because as soon as you tangled a hand in his hair you could feel his hot tears on your skin. He’d only cried in front of you once before and that had been when you’d nearly died after a minor mishap (though he’d argue it was probably more). That meant that whatever had happened on patrol last night must have fucked him up a little – you didn’t want to ask, but you didn’t want to him to think he couldn’t talk about it.
“I’m here if you need,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “If you just wanna lay here or you just wanna talk, I’m right here.”
“Thank you,” his voice was still quiet. “I’m sorry about last night.”
“Don’t apologise,” you shook your head. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replied.
You tightened your grip on him and he tried to shuffle closer, even though it wasn’t physically possible. You were completely skin to skin and chest to chest, his forehead flush with your collarbone. It was raining outside now, the sound of water hitting the window filling the room with where tension used to be. That was gone now – maybe it hadn’t been there at all, just a figment of your anxiety.
You felt Matt’s eyelashes brush against your skin as he closed your eyes. Sleep was good. It was probably what you both needed, and with his warm, heavy body on yours, it was also hard to resist.
(All you could do was hope that you didn’t need to pee any time soon).
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courtforshort15 · 2 years
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Insecurities
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader
Summary: Everyone has their own securities. Yours is your skin.
Trigger warning: none, just a little old fic with comfort and fluff
Inspired by all the peoole who are insecure about their skin and need reminders that skin doesn't need to be flawless to be beautiful
Masterlist
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You didn't hear the first knock on the door.
Everything around you kind of ceased to exist as you stared at yourself in the mirror, eyeing the giant zit on your chin with distaste. You had felt the small bump this morning while washing your face in the shower, but now it seemed to have finally sprouted up completely, taking up a decent chunk of real estate directly below the corner of your lip.
Scowling, you clenched your hands, struggling to smash down the impulse to prod and poke and squeeze. It really was disgusting, and you needed it to go. away.
You knew that if you messed with it, the bump would grow angry and inflamed, until it looked twice the size. You had grown up with and continued to have hormonal acne, so you were used to ones that were red and painful, the ones that sat deep underneath your skin and stuck around for longer than you needed them to, really.
And normally, you wouldn't care too much. You worked from home, and if you were required to be on camera for a conference call, no one thought twice about someone who didn't put on make up just to work from their kitchen table. Slap on some concealer and you'd usually be ready to go.
But tonight you had a date.
You hadn't been dating Matthew Murdock for very long, to be honest. Just a few months, but long enough for a strong sense of shared intimacy, in all the ways that mattered. You'd been taking it slow, feeling it out, still very much in the beginning stages of your relationship. With his busy schedule, and yours, you sometimes found it hard to spend dedicated time with each other.
But tonight was your weekly date night, and you had a giant zit on your chin that didn't look like it would be going away anytime soon.
You knew he wouldn't care, of course. As a blind man, he had no use for societal beauty standards. There was no need for him to care about the fact that your hair had split ends, no need to care about teeth that were ever so slightly an off white from years of drinking too much black coffee, no need to care about the stretch marks on your hips or thighs. You knew he didn't care about any of it.
But that didn't make you feel any less self-conscious about it.
Your friends had all grown out of their awkward teenage phases and sported clear, smooth skin, while you hadn't been so lucky. No matter how much water you drank, no matter how many dermatologist visits you went to, no matter how much money you spent on high-end cleansers and scrubs and clay masks, you still had moments like this.
And it was date night.
Matt, you knew, was a very tactile person, which made sense when you thought about it. Even though he could do things, impossible things, things that even sighted people would likely be unable to do, it didn't change the fact that Matt still used his hands very frequently to get a sense of the world around him.
He loved holding your hand, loved playing with your hair, loved kissing your forehead. He loved having his hands on you, whether it was strictly G-rated when in public, or while he was pushing into you from behind. Everything and anything was fair game when it came to you.
And, without fail, every time he kissed you hello, he'd tilt your head up with a finger underneath your chin and his thumb right underneath your lip. It didn't matter if the kiss was sweet and gentle, or intense and passionate; he used his hand to draw your focus on to him, as if you could ever be focused on anything else but him when he was near.
You knew that when he greeted you tonight, he'd feel this giant pimple right there, and you were already cringing at the thought.
You brought your hand up to your chin, still tempted to mess around and pick at it, but jumped when a second knock sounded at the door.
Speak of the devil.
Sending the mirror one last rueful glare, you shut off the light and walked out of your bathroom. Your apartment wasn't very large, so you made it to the front door in just a few steps, and you tried to not make it obvious that you were internally freaking out and drawing in deeper breaths than usual to calm yourself.
Opening the door revealed handsome Matt Murdock in all his glory, looking so effortlessly attractive that you almost hated him for it.
He was still dressed in what he probably wore to work that day, signifying that he most likely didn't have time to go home and change. Not that you minded; the way his ass filled out his slacks and the way his broad shoulders stretched his collared shirt never failed to bring a small flush to your cheeks, knowing exactly what all that muscle and skin looked like underneath his clothing.
"Hey, sweetheart," he greeted you, suit jacket slung over the arm that was holding his cane, warm smile on his lips. His glasses were still on, but you avoided looking directly at the lenses where you knew you'd see your own reflection.
"Hey," you responded instantly, unable to stop your own grin, despite the anxiety. You weren't sure when the pet names had started, but you both knew you were absolutely putty in his hands everytime one slipped from his mouth.
Matt took a quick step inside your apartment, before reaching forward to grab your chin the way he always did, that telltale sign he was about to greet you again, but this time with his mouth on yours.
The insecurity spiked again, and without even thinking about it, you turned your head to the side.  You took a sudden step to the right, effectively avoiding his grasp, much to his surprise.
He let his hand fall to his side, a sudden frown relaying his confusion. His head tilted in your direction, sightless eyes behind red lenses landing just to your left, and he didn't bother masking the brief flicker of hurt that crossed his face.
"What's wrong?" He questioned after a second, and you knew he could feel the awkward tension that had just landed between you two. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, knowing that this was all your doing, but unable to get the right words out to apologize. You plastered on a fake smile instead.
"Nothing." The answer came out quickly, an obvious lie, easily detecable even if it hadn't been given to someone who couldn't decipher facts from falseties by heartbeat alone.
"We both know that's not the truth," Matt said slowly. He hadn't moved from his spot in the doorway, as if unsure if he was welcome inside. You cringed. You hadn't wanted to make him feel unwelcome, especially when all you thought about was how seamlessly he fit into your life and how much you wanted to keep him there.
But still, this stupid, small insecurity had reared up as suddenly as the zit that had grown on your chin, and you found yourself reluctant to let him in on the secret.
"Everything's fine," you answered brightly, trying to put him ease, even while you knew you were failing. "Are you ready to go?"
Matt was still rooted to the spot and didn't look like he was going to move until he figured you out.
"I will be, once you tell me why you just flinched away from me." A brief flash of his own insecurity flickered across his face, and you hated that you had caused it. You knew there were alarm bells going off in his head, and you watched as he took a deep breath as if he was already preparing for the worst. He licked his lips, something he often did when nervous. "Did I...do something?"
You sighed, closing your eyes.
"It's stupid."
"Clearly it's not, if you didn't even want me to kiss you hello." Matt finally took another step forward, crowding you backwards into your apartment as he shut your front door behind him. "Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, everything's fine, can we just-"
"Please don't lie to me."
You groaned and took a step back into the walk behind you, letting your head tip back against it with a loud thump.
"They never said having a super-powered boyfriend would be this hard. I can't get away with shit."
With a fond roll of his eyes, the tension in Matt's shoulders seemed to ease a little, but he still didn't let up. "Just answer the damn question."
You looked briefly down at your shoes and took a deep breath.
"I have a giant zit on my face."
"A...wait, what?"
"A zit. A pimple. A blemish. A giant red bump on my chin."
If you thought Matt had looked confused before, it was nothing compared to how he looked now. He raised his eyebrows, seemingly not prepared for this. He looked like this was honestly the last thing he had ever expected you to say.
"You do realize I'm blind, right?" He asked dryly once he had recovered.
"Yup."
"As in, I can't see you."
"That's right."
"Like...at all."
"Absolutely."
"No light perception."
"Got it."
"Ok, so...why do you think I would care? Why do you think I would care even if I could see you?" Matt's hand came up to your chin again, and you smacked it away with a gasp of indignation.
"Don't touch it!"
This time Matt full on laughed, as if overjoyed at this new insecurity he had found. You glared at him, arms crossed over your chest. "It's not funny."
His laughing quieted as he shook his head, but his grin was still there as he finally took his glasses off and placed them on the table next to your door that you reserved for your keys.
"Why does this bother you so much?"
"Because you can feel it."
"What does that even mean?"
Groaning, you moved to cover your face with your hands, but he gently took them away and held them to his chest instead. "Tell me."
"You...you rely on touch so much. Like, I know your hearing and sense of smell are insane, but you use your hands and skin and touch to navigate everything, too."
"And...?"
"You like soft things," you finally breathed out the root of this particular insecurity, specific only to him. "Silk sheets. Silk boxers. You use super high end detergents for your clothing to encourage maximum softness. You buy very specific paper towels and toilet paper and kleenex. You like everything to be so incredibly soft...and my skin isn't."
A look of realization had settled across his face as you spoke, which was soon replaced by a small frown. Gently, so very gently, he released the hands he had cradled to his chest, before he reached out to take your face in his hands. This time you didn't flinch away, and he moved closer to press his forehead against yours.
"How come you've never said anything before?"
"Because I haven't really needed to. And because it's so stupid."
"It's not stupid if it's bothering you like this, sweetheart," he said quietly.
You looked up at him, staring at the pretty brown eyes that weren't quite focused on yours, before reluctantly diving in.
"It's just...I can feel my face starting to break out and it's just something I'm super insecure about, I guess." Your hands slid along his chest to fidget with one of the buttons on his shirt as you rambled on. "My skin gets like this every once in a while, where I'll go through a phase of pimple after pimple after pimple. And for the most part I'm fine with it because there's really not much I can do about it, as much as it sucks. And like...my skin isn't even that bad right now, but that doesn't mean I won't wake up tomorrow with eleven more pimples along my chin and jaw. And then I started thinking about how you'll feel every single bump and scab, more intensely than anyone else, and my brain just ran with it."
Matt made low soothing sound deep in his chest as he lifted his head off of yours and pressed his lips to your forehead instead.
"You don't have anything to be self-conscious about. Not with me."
"But-"
"I can't see any of the scars on my body," he interrupted. His thumbs were absentmindedly stroking your cheeks as he spoke. "I can't see them, but I can feel how rough and twisted and bumpy they are. And sometimes, I wonder what you think about them."
"That's not the same, Matt."
"I know it's not."
"You got those scars saving people." You tried to jerk away from him, but he didn't let you. "Those scars mean something."
"It's just skin." He lips moved to kiss one eyelid, then the other.
"Matt-"
"It's just skin," he repeated. "And skin isn't supposed to be perfect. And if you're not bothered by anything you feel on mine, how could I ever be bothered by yours?"
"How can you even compare the two, Matt?" You objected. Again, you tried to move away, but this time he moved one hand down to your right shoulder to hold you in place against the wall. His hand may have been gentle, but you could feel the band of steel under the surface. There was no getting away from him if he didn't want you to.
"I'm not comparing the two," he said shook his head.
"Then why-"
He interrupted you again. "I'm not comparing them. I'm just saying that you're self-conscious about something that's out of your control. And maybe I'm a little self-conscious, too, when you run your hand over one of my scars."
"But you're beautiful." The words slipped out without thought, and you went to cover your mouth with your hand before he grabbed it with a laugh.
"Shut up," you grumbled at his laughter. He shook his head, still grinning at your embarrassment.
"You know you're beautiful, too, right?"
You rolled your eyes. "You literally can't see me, Matt, as you just pointed out, repeatedly."
"You're beautiful on the inside."
"Gross, Matt. You're so cheesy." He laughed again.
"Maybe," Matt shrugged, unbothered by your lighthearted insult. "But we both know I don't need to see you to know you. And you don't need to have perfect skin for me to enjoy touching you."
You were quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say next. Finally, you just sighed as you leaned your body into his, letting your arms wrap loosely around his waist. His hand left your shoulder to rest at your lower back, further anchoring you to him.
"This isn't an argument you plan on losing, is it?"
Matt kissed you lightly on the nose. "I wasn't even aware this was an argument, sweetheart. Certainly doesn't feel like one."
"A disagreement, then."
"It's not about winning or losing," Matt said simply. He rubbed your back lightly, knowing it would make you arch into him just the way he liked. "I spoke my truth. You spoke yours, even if you're being silly."
"I'm not silly!" You gasped out in outrage, pulling away abruptly. He only let you get so far before tugging you back in.
"I said you're being silly, not that you are silly," he clarified, more quietly. "And I definitely didn't say that this...insecurity is silly. It's just silly that you think something like this would bother me."
"It bothers me."
"I know," he whispered, leaning down to kiss one check before moving to kiss the other. "But it shouldn't."
"Easier said than done."
"I know," he repeated, and you knew it was because he had his own suitcase of insecurities he was always dealing with, and how difficult it could be to move past the negative voices in your head. "But for the record, your skin is soft. Not always smooth, maybe, but always soft. I love feeling it against me, I love feeling it beneath my hands, beneath my lips."
His hands dropped to pull your hips flush against his, and lowered his voice into that deep tone he knew always worked on you like a charm. But this time, it was laced with something extremely soft and tender.
"And if you're okay with staying in tonight, I'd love to spend the next several hours kissing and touching every inch of your skin, if you'll let me."
As if you could ever say no to that.
Damn this man for knowing you too well already.
Matt must have heard the skip in your heart beat, the one that so often happened when he was near, because he slid a hand back up to the back of your neck and pulled lightly on your hair. "I'll take that as a yes."
Moving closer, he grasped your chin slowly, with one finger under your chin and his thumb right below your lip like he always did, as he tilted your head back to kiss you.
This time you let him.
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deceitfuldevil · 2 years
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No Sympathy for the Devil
Matt Murdock X Reader
Summary: Matt had been paying very little attention to you lately, and was always showing up to work bloody and bruised from a night full of vigilante activities. He never even came home in the evenings anymore, just went straight to the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. You were tired of this, frustrated he wasn’t coming home to please you every night. So despite a mutual agreement to not be overly affectionate with each other at work, you give Matt a taste of what he’s missing. You leave him high and dry, assuring him that he could make up for his recent absence in the evening. But Matt wasn’t one to negotiate like that, and you were going to pay.
Warnings: smut (18+ MDNI), AFAB reader, mentions of blood and bruises, established relationship, orgasm denial, oral (male and female receiving), fingering, teasing, verbal degradation, pet names (sweetheart, darling. . . whore), swearing, p in v sex, penatration, choking, just so much flith.
Word Count: 2.3K
As of late, Matt had been a little too involved with his nightly daredevil activities and not involved enough with work; and barely involved with you at all. This frustrated you, hell it frustrated Foggy and Karen too because Matt had promised them he could balance his work life with his viligate duties. Now he was leaving straight for the streets straight after work, and only coming home maybe an hour before you woke up to change into a new suit. Foggy noticed new bruises every day, Karen inconspicuously wiped blood off the back of his head when he was speaking to clients.
It was the worst for you. In order to maintain some level of professionalism you acted only as what you were hired for, an office assistant. Even if you had been seeing Matt for months now and were even living with him, you both agreed it wouldn't be appropriate to show your relationship in front of clients. So you were proper and polite during the day, fulfilling your job expectations for Karen, Matt, and Foggy. You always eagerly awaited the evenings when the work day was through and you could come home to Matt and be your loving self with him. But you weren’t getting those nights anyone, all you got was sleepless nights and dissatisfying orgasms from trying to please yourself half as good as Matt did.
You decided if Matt wasn’t going to change his ways and see how his actions were affecting others, you’d show him. Oh no no no, you’d tease him, give him a reason to come home.
You decided to show up to work commando, knowing Matt would be the only one to notice. A short pencil skirt and silk blouse, something he would enjoy running his fingers over. You were teasing him, trailing around him all day. When Foggy and Karen said they were going out to lunch and offered for Matt to join them he was about to say yes when you came in front of him and palmed him through his slacks and whispered “stay here.”
Matt took a deep gulp and shakily announced that he would be staying back. Foggy and Karen bid their goodbyes and went on their way. As soon as you heard the door click shut you backed Matt into his office chair and propped yourself up on his desk. Spreading your legs wide you took Matt’s hand in yours and guided it to your uncovered heat. He let out a silent moan feeling your slick wetness that was starting to pool on his desk.
“You know how much I admire you, Matty?” You asked, your free hand coming to his chin and staring into his red lenses. Matt just nodded subtly as you helped him dip two fingers into your entrance.
“I admire your everlasting search for the good in people, and the undying fight against everyone who’s done nothing but bad. You’re so good Matty.” You praised with an affectionate voice. Matt’s hands started to move on their accord as he pumped his rough fingers in and out of you.
“What I don’t admire is when you leave me sitting all alone at night, waiting for you to come home.” You said, causing Matt’s fingers to come to a halt.
“I get lonely, Matthew. I also worry, I miss you late at night. You know, I’m surprised you don’t hear my moans when I’m desperately trying to use my own fingers to fuck myself half as good as you do.” You confessed, a considerable tent growing in Matt’s boxers.
“Y/n I—”
“Ah ah” you stopped Matt’s attempts to apologize for his absence.
“You will make up for all this tonight…” you started, taking Matt’s wrist and pulling his soaked fingers out of your cunt. You tried to not whine at the loss of contact, bringing his fingers to your lips and licking yourself off of them. “Understood?” You said, closing your legs and hopping off Matt's desk. But he grabbed your wrist without looking at you and said. “You know I don’t like negotiations, sweetheart.” Matt said with a warning tone.
“You negotiate for a living Matty, don’t lie to me.” You said, pressing a chasté kiss to his lips and making your way to the door of his office. “I’ll see you tonight, Matthew.” You with an authoritative tone, like it was an order. You shut the door behind you with a smile and exited the office announcing you’d be taking a half day when you met up with Karen and Foggy at the bottom of the stairwell.
Despite how things went down at the office, Matt was the one ordering you around by the time he got home.
You were sitting peacefully on the couch in an old dress shirt of Matt’s just waiting for him, and when he came home he brought hell with him. He stood in front of you still clad in his work suit, tossing his cane aside.
“On your knees, now sweetheart.” Matt said, voice firm and deep with lust. You sat there, shocked for a second; a second too long apparently.
“Don’t make me ask again.” Matt said, promoting you to fall to your knees. “Good girl.” Matt said running a hand through your hair, but then once he had your hair bundled into a ponytail he harshly tugged in it causing a moan to squeak out of you.
“Now suck me off.” He ordered, and you were in no place not to comply. You knew what Matt was doing, asserting dominance. He may have liked your little show back at the office but he needed you to understand that he was in control. But that’s exactly what you wanted, for Matt to exert his entire control over you.
You hastily unbuckled Matt’s belt and pulled down his slacks. He was already at half mast by the time you got his boxers off. Matt stood still, patiently waiting for you to start. You took his impressive length in your hands and started to pump, looking up to Matt to see his reaction but there was nothing. You could’ve been sucking off his ear for all the emotion he was showing.
This only furthered your desire to please him, to fulfill his orders. You licked a bold stripe up the underside of his proud cock, but not even a slight gasp fell from his lips. You doubled down in your efforts, swirling your tongue around his tip and deep throating him to the point that tears began to form in your eyes. You sucked and gagged until you barely started to hear Matt choke up on the air around him. This encouraged your efforts until Matt tighten his fist in your hair again and pull your mouth off of his throbbing cock.
“Your dirty mouth doesn’t deserve to taste my cum, not with the way you bossed me around today.” Matt said, keeping your neck stretched as your jaw stayed slack after sucking him off. “Say it.” Matt ordered “say that you have a dirty mouth.” He added.
“I have a dirty mouth.” You admitted.
“And?” Matt prompted, he didn’t say what he wanted you to admit but you know what he was asking for. The same thing he always made you say, the thing that for you weak at the knees every time you said it.
“And I’m your little whore.” You furthered on, it’s a good thing you were already on your knees. “That’s right, good girl. Now go to the bedroom, missionary.” He ordered, making you think twice. Missionary wasn’t his go-to when he was being rough, it was always doggy or cowgirl. Missionary was for when he wanted to be sweet and savor the moment with you.
“Missionary?” You asked.
“Yes, and don’t make me think twice about it.” Matt barked, making you scurry to your feet and rush to the bedroom. You stripped yourself of your clothes and awaited Matt patiently on the bed. He walked in the bedroom stark naked with his cock standing proud. It was a sight to behold, one that made you squeeze your thighs together in anticipation. “Ah ah, legs spread darling.” Matt warned, one firm hand spreading your legs anyways.
You thought Matt would get straight to fucking the shit out of you, but when he replaced his hand on your thigh with his lips you let out a shocked gasp. “Matt I—” you cried as he kissed all over your soft thighs, getting dangerously close to your heat.
“Consider this my apology.” Matt said lowly, diving straight into your slick folds. You moaned out as an immense wave of pleasure immediately overtook your body, Matt's nose brushing up against your clit as his tongue teased your entrance. Your hands flew to tug in his brown locks, only edging him on further. There was a part of you that wanted to try to stay as silent as possible after how little emotion he showed when he had you suck him off, but another part of you was enjoying this too much; and you knew that he was too.
His tongue pulsates in and out of your entrance with greed and desire, pushing his face further into your cunt so his nose pressed harshly against your clit. He started to moan as he devoured you, purposely sending pleasureful vibrations through your core. Your thighs wrapped tightly around his head as you could feel yourself starting to fall off the edge, you tried to fuck your self against his face getting ready to let go but Matt stopped you.
His strong hand came up and pressed down on your hip. The other hand slipping between his shoulder and your thigh, he pinned you down and pulled his face out of your soaked core. Right as you were seconds away from falling apart, you let out a frustrated moan as Matt fully pulled away from you.
“I didn’t say you could cum yet, sweetheart.” Matt said with a wide grin, knowing what he just took from you. You let out another exasperated breathe. “You’ll cum on my cock, like the good girl you are.” Matt said sternly. He leaned forward and captured your lips in his, making you taste yourself on him. He kissed you passionately, with vigor. This was Matt’s way of saying sorry for not coming home all those nights, and his way of making up for it.
He pulled away and gently cradled your face, a moment of softness in all the rough. “I love you.” He said softly, pressing one more kiss to your lips before he lined himself up with your entrance.
Slowly, sweetly, Matt pushed his thick cock inside your slick cunt. One thing you’d never get used to being in a relationship with Matt was his size, he always stretched you out to a delicious extent. And you let him know of that now when you felt him bottom out inside of you, moaning loudly.
Once Matt could feel that you had adjusted to his girth, he slowly dragged out and pressed back into you. Breathless groans left both your lips as his pace gradually picked up, your hands raking up and down Matt’s back making your mark. Matt brought one hand on the hip as he started to slam into to have something to hold onto. His other hand was now wrapped around your throat as he delightfully squeezed the sides cutting off your blood-flow gently.
Things started to feel hazy and soft, you were coming up on that edge again as Matt thrusted harder and harder, absolutely destroying your pussy. “I know you’re close sweetheart, so am I.” Matt stated, the hand that was on your hip coming around and using his calloused thumb to rub harsh circles on your clit.
“Come with me, let me hear your pretty moans when you fall apart on my cock.” and that you did, you cried out as pleasure took over your body and your mind. You swore you were seeing stars as you could feel Matt’s thrusts faltering, his white hot streaks painting your insides.
After that things became blurry, you couldn’t remember how long ago you came or when Matt pulled out but the next thing you knew Matt was cleaning up between your legs with a damp washcloth.
After that the next thing you remembered was Matt flopping next to you on the bed and pulling you into his side, letting you rest your head on his chest. After what felt like hours, even if it was only a minute or so, he spoke.
“Are you alright darling? Or are you still fucked out?” You just looked up at him and flashed a dopey smile, not saying a word. “Still fucked out I see, just go to sleep darling.” Matt encouraged with a small laugh.
“I love you so much Matty.” you confessed, like you were some schoolgirl admitting your feelings for him for the first time. You could hear Matt’s heart skip a beat or two with one ear resting on his chest.
“I love you too y/n, so much.” He said, letting his lips fall to your forehead. You just smiled blissfully and nodded off to sleep.
A/N
Damn that was kinky, anyways if anyone watched Jessica Jones a certain scene with Hogarth inspired this so guess what I’m referencing in the comments <3 kudos to @wannabemurdock for helping me pick a title for this filthy fic ages ago when I wrote it. At the time this is posting I’m nearing the end of my summer camp job!! So cool, anyways thanks for reading and let me know what you thought!
Much Love,
—Skyler
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atlaese · 2 years
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 & 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧 | 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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SUMMARY | Matt is no longer the only vigilante in Hell’s Kitchen. A woman, nicknamed the siren by the press, is often seen roaming the same streets. It seems there might be a rivalry between the two. Or is there? What the outside world doesn’t know is that there is history between the two of them. The devil and the siren are a complicated duo, however, some events might make it even more complicated. Or it might simply make them finally address why they still seek each other's company.
PAIRING | matt murdock x fem!reader
TW | canon violence, friends/rivals to lovers, fluff, every chapter will have individual warnings.
A/N | hi hello!! this mini-series was inspired by me thinking about character A unloading a shit ton of weapons while character B patiently waits for them to finish & is exasperated by how long it takes. for this specific series I'll open a taglist, so feel free to comment or send me an ask :). hope you'll enjoy! i appreciate any feedback :).
p.s. i also have a library blog if you'd rather receive updates that way (@aeristhotle)
MATT MURDOCK MASTERLIST
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chapter one | TBA
chapter two | TBA
chapter three | TBA
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nevarrhoe · 2 years
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am not sure if this applies or it's too far out there but fluff headcanons for mea culpa?
definitely not too far out there!! i love some fluff
(mea culpa masterlist)
matt automatically reaches out for you in the night. he barely gets to see you/hold you during the day so he is super touchy when you're asleep.
he always brings you coffee in the morning!!
and you once complained that the coffee your dad stocks in his office is awful, so since then he's made sure there's always some of your favourite in the nelson & murdock offices for you
matt will buy you coffee too. he knows your exact order, even if it costs about twenty fucking dollars
and some part of matt wishes he was sitting on a fat family fortune or trust fund or something so that he could help fund the way you like to live, so that you could cut off your dad and just live worry free with him
but the irony is that you appreciate the smaller gestures from him - like the coffee, and how he looks after you, and how he appreciates you - are priceless
matt loves when the scent of your perfume lingers in the air. it can be hours after you've left his apartment or office but everytime he gets a lil whiff of that chanel, he can't help but smile
you're the first person that has made him feel secure. he kinda went into it assuming it would just have the same "exciting fling w a rich girl" vibes like he had with elektra but it's so much more than that
because you have moments where you are so far removed from..normal people. you wear shoes that are worth the average person's yearly rent and your first car was a mercedes. your dad is a regular in forbes and kylie jenner is waiting for a reply in your instagram requests right now. you are an aloof rich girl and there are moments where you just blow matt away with how much you don't know
but you're also sweet. you care so deeply about everyone - about matt, and what he stands for - and you're giving in your own way. you seem to understand him in a way that no-one else does but you're not afraid to ground him either. nothing pulls matt murdock back to earth like a bollocking from the woman he loves and hell. he is not letting you go.
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