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multific · 1 year

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The French and His Wife

Vincent de Gramont x Reader

Warnings: Kidnapping, Mention of torture, Murder

Summary: After a long day at work, Vincent was tired. He just wanted to go home and take a shower with you, then sleep. But when he arrived home, he found mayhem.

Arriving back at his mansion all Vincent wanted was a quiet night, to hold his wife and sleep.

He let out many long sighs during the drive.

Then as they arrived at the gates, his driver looked at him through the mirror.

"Sir, something's not right." said the driver before he drove further into the property.

Vincent saw his men running around as if they were headless chickens.

"What the fuck happened?!" yelled Vincent as two of his bodyguards went over to him.

"They took the Miss."

Vincent stood in silence. The calm before the storm as they say. His other man tried to explain the situation better.

"She was in the bedroom, sleeping, we assume, when it all went downhill. They broke in through the front door but it was only a distraction because, at the same time, they broke into her room as well. They killed her guards and took her, Sir."

He pulled his gun out and shot the two men. Everyone around him froze as they looked at him.

"Someone better have a fucking explanation!"

He now sat in his office, bouncing his leg as the man in front of him explained what happened.

"They broke down the front door and caused a big scene. It attracted most of the guards. As per protocol, two guards ran to the Miss' room. They tried to get her, and while they did cause some delays, they were killed. The Miss ran but soon got captured. In total, we lost four of our men but killed most of them. They took her to a car and drove off through the back gate. We have a license plate but we found the car dumped not far, they changed cars. We are currently following tracks."

"I don't give a shit about the four men."

"Of course, we do have the footage, if you wish to see it."

"I do wish to see."

"I believe it is best if you don't watch the footage, Sir."

But Vincent only needed to look at the man once and he closed his mouth and opened the laptop.

The footage had no audio so Vincent turned it on.

How dare his men decide for him, if he wants to see and hear, then he will.

Truth was, his men knew him very well and no one was ready to take the blame for what happened. They knew how he is with you. And everyone knew that the two men he just shot outside had it easy. A quick death, but if he finds a person responsible, they will die slowly.

No one messes with the Marquis and his wife.

Vincent watched as two of your guards ran into the master bedroom, there were two gunshots and then you ran out of the bedroom, two men following you but at the end of the hall stood another, so you bolted into the bathroom.

Vincent checked his phone as he did remember you calling him earlier but he couldn't pick up.

He felt guilty.

He rejected your desperate call for help. It didn't take long for the men to break down the door before they dragged you out. He heard you cry and beg, he heard you plead as they dragged you.

One of the men had enough of your crying.

"Shut up, whore." he demanded before he hit you with his gun, knocking you out.

Vincent felt his blood boil as he looked up from the screen to his man.

"Is she alive?" he asked, rather fearfully, but it couldn't be heard in his voice.

"We sent out ten teams, Sir. She is alive. One team found her, they are bringing her to the doctor." the man confirmed.

"You found who did this?"

"Yes. Your car is ready. Once you will be done, the Miss should be at your other house, Sir."

Vincent nodded as he stood up. He buttoned his suit in before turning.

He saw red.

---

It wasn't even an old enemy of his. A newly formed assassin group with big potential were just wasted due to their dumb action.

They attacked the Marquis to replace him and get a higher position at the High Table.

"I need a new house. A more secure one, no one can know the location. They found this one too easy." he said on his way back.

"Of course, Sir." replied his man.

"Also check for mules. Someone might have told them and helped them from the inside."

"Right away, Sir."

When they arrived at his other house, Vincent got out and walked to the front door.

As soon as the door opened, his eyes locked with yours. Three guards standing behind you as you stood right in front of the door. He noticed the bandages on your arms and the already forming purple marks.

He felt his blood boil once more, these idiots dared to touch you.

You ran into his arms as soon as the door was closed.

He looked at his men who were now walking away, giving you privacy.

"They told me you would be back soon." you whispered into his neck.

"Mon Amour," he whispered as you tightened your grip. "I should have picked up. I'm sorry."

"I was so scared." you whispered.

"What did they want?"

"Information. Names and addresses of members of the High Table. Anything. But I told them I don't know anything. Then they said they wanted to break you down." you said as you pulled back, but he still had his arms around you. His eyes looking you up and down.

"And they tortured you." he concluded as you nodded, his finger running down your neck.

"I can't go back into that house." you whispered.

"We will find a new one, a safer one." he whispered. "Not today, and not in the near future but one day I wish to know what they did to you. Whenever you are ready, you will have to tell me. So I'd know what to do to the people who dare put their hands on you, Mon Amour." he said as you pulled away and he started to run his fingers up your neck, he placed a kiss on your lips.

"I don't know what they call it... they put a towel on my face and poured water. They also used electricity." he nodded and you could feel him getting angrier by the second. "But you found me."

"What did the doctor say?"

"I had a dislocated shoulder, twisted wrist and slight head trauma when they hit me. I know you watched the footage. I tried to run."

"You did. You did well. It wasn't your fault my men are incapable. I will find you new guards, better guards. I won't let this happen ever again."

"Thank you, Vincent." he walked you to the bedroom, closing the door behind himself and you as you went to the bed.

He blamed himself.

He nearly lost the one thing that mattered the most.

Now his suit was on the back of a chair as he laid down and pulled you close.

"I know you are angry," you whispered into the dark.

"I nearly fucking lost you because of those idiots. You got hurt and tortured when I promised you this would never happen. I promised I would keep you safe and I broke my wedding vow." he whispered the last part and it made you move so you can look into his eyes.

"You didn't break anything. Technically, you weren't here so your men failed, not you and I'm a big girl, I will get over this with your help, I know it. Please don't let this break us apart. Please don't lock yourself into your head." you placed your hand into his hair, moving his head so his eyes would lock with yours.

"I will try, but I'm very angry."

"You killed them, right?" he nodded before he spoke.

"I sent a message to everyone. They dare not touch what's mine." your fingers ran through his soft locks.

"Good. Then you touch what's yours and hug me please." he did.

Pulling you close, he kissed the top of your head.

He will never ever let you go. And that's a vow he will never break under any circumstances.

A/N: I while back I wrote one with a similar plot for Santino, and it inspired me to write this one. Hope you enjoyed it!

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DO NOT STEAL, PLAGIARISE, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

#Vincent de Gramont #Vincent de Gramont x reader #Vincent de Gramont x you #Vincent de Gramont imagine #Vincent de Gramont imagines #Marquis de Gramont #the Marquis de Gramont #Marquis de Gramont x reader #the marquis x reader #the marquis x you #the marquis imagine #the marquis imagines #John Wick #john wick x reader #john wick imagine #john wick imagines #john wick 4

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llamagoddessofficial · 1 year

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For the DA AU, how are they with pregnant people? What if MC is pregnant? Maybe she announces to the staff that she had a accidental pregnancy, but decided to keep the child?

Red: With her permission, of course, he lets the kids know- he wants to make sure they understand to be gentler with her. Also, if she gets ill or tired, or doesn't show up some days, they'll understand why! He's just hoping the kids will stop asking where babies come from. That's for parents to explain.

He always lingered around her, but he does even more- usually he drops a few terrible lines that make her go pink, but he now lurks around her well after he should, watching her go about her business and trying to help. He’s always offering to make her tea or get her a snack, eager to ensure she’s hydrated and well rested... but he’s always staring, it’s sometimes unnerving. He muses out loud about what she might name the baby... “are you gonna bring ‘em to the daycare? won’t that be fun!”

It’s sweet, at first. She likes having someone looking out for her. But... she does get a little concerned with how he starts acting with other adults. Not just staff- even parents. People come up to her and ask her innocent questions about the baby, and she can feel Red’s empty glare from across the room. If anyone ever tries to touch her belly he appears out of nowhere like a ghost, grabbing them and removing them from the room with a cheery “keep your hands to yourself inside the daycare!”

It probably doesn’t mean anything.

Sans: Being pregnant won't save her from his Mischief and Mayhem. In fact, he just seems to double down on plaguing her, stealing her keycard so often she's started carrying around a decoy card and a flashlight to beam in his face if he gets close. Her using a flashlight on him is the equivalent of using a spray bottle on an aggressive cat. It’s because he’s extra desperate for her time and focus- he loves babies, and the girl he likes is pregnant, he wants to be involved in everything she does. As soon as she’s not involving him, he acts out to get her attention again.

If she thought Red’s hovering was bad, Sans is a hundred times worse. He’ll literally hang over her shoulder like a clingy kid if she’s not looking at him, so close his eyelights light up her face- if he could breathe he’d be breathing down her neck. He’s always demanding she sits down, has a nap, eats/drinks something, stops working... he’ll steal her laptop and phone if she keeps working.

To be honest, she kinda finds it endearing that regardless of which personality is greeting her, both daycare attendants want her to look after herself. She also finds it sweet that even though Sans is the clingiest, most annoying, and most boundary-defying robot she knows, he’ll always quietly ask permission before he touches her belly. And if she says no, he’s clearly annoyed, but he never pushes.

Skull: Skull is always listening. Red and Sans often ask her to rest because Skull is intrusive-thought-style saying it over and over again until one of them asks her. But he doesn’t make many appearances, especially if she doesn’t know him already... he doesn’t want to frighten her when she’s pregnant. That just sounds like a bad idea. But as she gets more pregnant, he can’t help himself. Even while trapped behind Red or Sans he constantly reaches out to touch her belly- luckily, she gave those two permission, so it’s not considered much of a problem.

Something that might get him to come out is if she ever complains about her feet/back hurting. Says it’s very uncomfy where she’s sat. She makes a lighthearted complaint, and suddenly she’s picked up- she giggles, thinking Red/Sans just scooped her up as a joke...

... until she feels the second pair of arms.

“... comfy... now?” :)

#llamagines #DCA au #kid: where do babies come from?#red: well.. its erm... when two people love each other very m... ask your parents when you get home #sans: sex

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cedar-writes · 1 year

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Another J?

Summery: A trip to the zoo doesn't go as planned...

Warnings: Natasha x reader, Jeff causing trouble, fluff

A/N: A sequel to The Three Js! Please enjoy the family mayhem.

“Mrr? Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” Jeff stared up at you with big puppy dog eyes, mrr-ing and nudging your leg.

You glanced up from your laptop, where you were working on mission reports. “Hey bud, I’m a little busy right now, what’s up?”

“Mrrrr!” Jeff kept telling you, as he gently grabbed your pant leg in his teeth and tugged lightly. Of course he wanted you to follow him.

“Listen Jeff, I need to finish up these reports by next week. Can you go bother your mom? Or maybe one of your brothers?”

Jeff sighed and sat down defeatedly, continuing to stare at you sadly. You went back to work, doing your best to ignore his silent pleading. Which turned out to be almost impossible. You could feel Jeff’s big sad eyes watching you, leaving you completely unable to focus on your work. Eventually you sat back in your chair and rubbed your eyes, groaning softly. Jeff took this as his cue to jump into your lap. He nuzzled your face with his nose and looked at you hopefully.

“Alright Jeff. You win. I could use a break anyway. What do you want to show me?”

Jeff leapt off your lap with a happy, “mrrr!” and ran out of the room making a beeline for the kitchen. Despite his short legs, Jeff moved surprisingly fast and you had to hustle to catch up with him.

You caught up to Jeff in the kitchen, where you also found your wife making herself a cup of tea.

“What’s up with Jeff?” asked Natasha when she saw you come in. “He’s been at you all day. Does he need something?”

“No idea, but he’s supposed to be showing me now.”

You both turned to look at Jeff. He was sitting at the fridge, staring up at it intently.

“Are you hungry bud? Is that what this was all about?” You asked him.

“Mrrrr.” Jeff shook his head quickly and continued to stare intently up at the fridge.

“Its typically food he’s after.” Natasha remarked. “Interesting.”

You and Natasha stared at the fridge with him. It was cluttered with scraps of paper, artwork, take-out menus, receipts, grocery lists, and an assortment of magnets. Jeff huffed, obviously frustrated you didn't catch on to what he wanted.

You looked over the decorations on your fridge, most of which you were familiar with. And then something new caught your eye. You grabbed the flier for the zoo and Jeff immediately mrrrrr-ed happily and danced around your feet.

You laughed. “Guess we found what he wanted. Where did this come from?”

“It came in the mail yesterday.” Natasha shrugged. “Figured it could be fun to go at some point, so I just put it up here”

Jeff was now gleefully running circles around the kitchen. You watched him for a moment as she turned back to you. “It seems like someone really wants to visit today. Think we could take a trip?”

You smiled. “Yeah, I don't see why not. Gather up the boys, and let's go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the zoo, you quickly learned many things. Jonathan, a wolverine, seemed to think he was better than any of the animals in the exhibits, especially the wolves. Poor Jroki almost passed out when you walked by the alligator enclosure and you had to quickly usher him away. Jeff loved the penguins. Natasha swore he could have spent hours watching them through the glass.

After a few hours of walking around, and a quick snack at the cafe, your little family was checking out the last of the exhibits before going home. You came upon one of the last enclosures and Jroki and Jonathan both stopped to peer in. After realizing it was empty, Jonathan growled in disappointment.

“Sorry Johnny,” Natasha said, patting his head. “Looks like no one is home.”

You leaned in to read the sign on the fence. “It’s supposed to house a wombat. That’s too bad, I wonder what happened to her.”

“Maybe she hasn't moved in yet.” Natasha turned to the boys, “Alright you three, shall we head home?”

Two pairs of eyes looked back at you.

“Um…Y/N?”

“Yes Nat?”

“Where’s Jeff?”

“You know, that's a great question.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff, of course, was off finding his own adventure. Some point after the stop at the cafe, Jeff decided he wanted to go back to see the penguins again. So he did, assuming the rest of you would see him leave and follow along. After watching the penguins for a bit, he turned around and realized he didn't see you. Or Natasha. Or either of his brothers. The realization he was alone struck him and he started to run, desperately trying to find any of you.

After about 10 minutes of no luck, Jeff climbed on top of a park bench to rest and get a better view of his surroundings. As he sat, he heard a rustle from the bushes behind him. Jeff immediately whipped around to find the source of the noise. From the bush came a soft grunting and some more signs of movement. Being the ever curious landshark, Jeff decided to investigate and immediately dove right into the bushes.

Upon landing, Jeff came face to face with……well he wasn't sure what she was. She was around the same size as him. She was covered in soft brown fur and had small ears with a big nose. Whatever she was, she looked scared and lonely. Jeff knew just how he could help her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Natasha quickly realized Jeff must have decided to look at the penguins again, so you started off in that direction. You were quickly making your way towards the penguins when Jonathan and Jroki suddenly took off running. You and Natasha immediately took off after them, shouting their names. This of course, earned you many weird looks from the other zoo goers.

You caught up to the boys sitting on a bench outside of the cafe, along with Jeff and another small creature. Jeff let out a proud, “Mrrr!” when you walked up, excitedly looking between you and the animal sitting next to him.

You groaned softly. “Oh boy, here we go again. What is it this time? A capybara?”

Natasha frowned and shook her head. “No, not a capybara. I’m pretty sure she’s a wombat. She’s probably the one from that empty enclosure.”

“She must have escaped.” You said, “should we grab a zookeeper so they can put her back?”

Jeff mrrr-ed sadly and frowned at you, while leaning closer to the wombat. The wombat leaned into Jeff and closed her eyes, grunting happily.

“Y/N…we can’t make her go back.”

You turned to Natasha incredulously, “I’m sorry what?”

“I mean think about it. It’s got to be really lonely spending your whole life in a cage. We could give her a home. Like we did for the boys.”

“Natasha, I get it. But we can’t just steal her from the zoo.”

She raised an eyebrow at you. “Why not?”

You chuckled softly and shook your head. “Okay, okay, you’re right. Why not? We’ll take her home.”

“MMRRRRR!!!” Jeff jumped up and down and celebrated with his brothers and the wombat. Natasha hugged you tight and kissed your cheek. “Thank you Y/N. Let’s get her out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the compound, you and Natasha sat on the couch watching your boys and the wombat play together.

“Well, we got her home. Now what?” You said. “We already have the three boys. Are we able to keep the wombat too? We are both pretty busy people, and already have our hands full with the others.”

Natasha sighed. “I know what you mean. It would really be a lot. But we couldn't have left her there.”

“No, of course not.” You thought for a moment. “Even if it's not with us, we could still give her a nice home. Maybe give her to Wanda? I’m sure her twins would love a friend.”

Natasha nodded. “That's a really good idea. Wanda has talked about wanting to get the boys a pet. And that way Jeff and the rest could still visit her regularly.”

“Okay then, we’ll offer her to Wanda. But we also can't just keep referring to her as ‘the wombat’. She needs a name too.”

“You’re right. We’ll need to stick to the J theme.” agreed Natasha. “Any ideas?”

“Jessica?”

“Hmm no. Jennifer?”

“I’m not feeling it. How about Jill?”

Natasha smiled. “Jill. I like it.”

You leaned against Natasha’s shoulder. “You know, we're turning into quite the animal rescuers.”

She shook her head. “Not us, it's all Jeff. We might have found him, but he found Jonathan, Jroki, and now Jill.

You smiled. “We’re raising quite the landshark, huh?”

Natasha laughed. “I wonder what adventure he’ll get himself into next?”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x gn!reader #jeff the land shark #Jeff the landshark

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diamond-endermite · 8 days

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So the Lego Movie 2 game.

Okay so guys, I'm sorry for my rant. and it being because I got whiplash from the ending cutscene is not a good excuse. I should have posted something worthy of the #'s but I didn't, I won't make that mistake twice. that being said, I will post something worthy. that being tips for the game! as someone who has finished the game. First tip... brace yourself for the ending cut scene it's after fighting General Mayhem for the last time on top of the wedding cake. that cut scene will give you whiplash, and I recommend laughing/crying through it. Okay, to gameplay tips

1. play the game the way you want to, but picking up stuff as you go can not hurt you, resources are always useful. and for parts of the game, you will need them.

2. Super Map, you will find your in-game map shows you where everything is, but the Super Map is even more exact than that. It is under Super Items and is an unlock. I believe it's dropped from Relics.

3. Weapons such as the Fire Bow are excellent if you can get enough space between you and the enemy, as they are a one-shot kill weapon, and fire quickly. other weapons act like the fire bow, so don't feel afraid to try out all the stuff you will be collecting.

4. (This is for pc/laptop players) Flying cars/ships can go up, but not go down on pc/laptop. you can leave the vertical and then it will drop, but if you are doing races on pc/laptop just use a jetpack.

5. going on from the last one, jetpack, you can turn it on and off. turning it off and on again quickly you can fly high even with the limit to the jetpack fly time.

6. if you lose time keep doing the race till the end, you can complete a race with 0 sounds remaining. I have. twice.

7. if you're stuck looking for something remember, it's more likely up than down. but if still can't find it, it's in a cave.

8. when it comes to the way the game saves, it only saves when the save icon is on screen, this means you can rewatch cutscenes or dialogue if you quit to windows or leave to the game menu fast enough. but this is not the only thing about saving you should know, you see depending on the level. even if the game saves your stuff, your place in the world may not be saved, sometimes you will log back in front of the rainbow portal.

9. complete the main game and side worlds. before trying to complete Syspocalypstar, you will need stuff that you buy from shops in many different worlds, and you will need to unlock many different blueprints. trust me save it to last. 10. if you want to make Syspocalypstar look nice be careful of your button press, it is very easy to lose stuff if you hit remove button blindly.

and that's it, for now, hope everyone is having a good day. -Diamond Endermite

#the lego movie #the lego movie 2 #lego movie

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bluemoonperegrine · 6 months

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challenge -> you’re starring in a movie with the last person you saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title

Thanks, @midgardian-witch, for tagging me!

I'm usually on my laptop, so I'm including screencaps in my "camera roll." I sent the above to my husband and sister-in-law. 😂

youtube

Can I tell you how effing excited I am to star in a movie with Spidey and Daredevil???

"What Have I Done" is a madcap action-comedy that begins with Peter, Matt, and I going to an antiques show in Brooklyn because Antiques Roadshow is taping there that day. (Neither Matt nor I cared, but Peter's a huge fan because he watched so many eps with Aunt May.)

The villain, a demure middle-aged woman named Alice, is born when the miniature trebuchet she bought at a flea market for $15 would have appraised at $1 million because it was made by an apprentice of da Vinci. Unfortunately Alice cleaned it after buying it because it was grungy, so the appraiser knocked off $999,900.

Alice cries "WHAT HAVE I DONE???" and mayhem ensues. The appraiser is her first victim. It's death via tiny trebuchet.

Also I shamelessly pine for both of the boys during the entire film but neither notice 'cause they're dorks.

I have no idea where much of the above came from, but okay.

Tagging @vicarious-rebel @lookitsgrim @abirdie @ipsl0re @grabyoursaintsandpray and anyone who wants to play!

#tag game #tag challenge #this one's pretty creative #spiderman #spider-man #daredevil #anna ternheim #trebuchet #Youtube

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nami-healer · 1 year

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Chapter 3: May 23rd 2032 - Monty Mayhem

In which you wrangle a wild alligator, then shove your fist down it's throat.

You shifted uncomfortably in the metal chair, absently wondering if it would kill the company provide more comfortable chairs. You did your best to finish inhaling your food, you were pulling double duties today and felt like you could barely breathe with the stress. You’d already spent 4 hours digging through the Daycare Attendants processors, you’d finally, finally, managed to have another live session in the cylinder with both AI, you had also managed to fix the glitched cleaning routines today, they would still be focused on keeping things tidy and neat, but it wouldn't be to the former obsessive extremes, it would return to being a background function.

In 5 minutes however, after finishing the sad little salad you brought from home, you somehow had to wrangle Monty. How? You had no idea. You hoped and prayed he would just allow himself to be walked down to Parts and Service to be repaired. You’d worked with the gator during your first week, the manager who had been intended to train you in the Daycare had been absent, so they just slammed you onto the workload of the first manager they’d spotted during your welcome tour.

If memory served you right, the gator was all bark with a little risk of a bite but 4 days was not long enough time to truly judge anyone. Even if they were mechanical.

Stuffing the last lettuce leaf in your mouth, pulled out your company tablet, the new and shiny upgrade from the janky old laptop, officially titled the FazPad. How they weren’t getting sued over the name was a mystery to you, but you didn’t plan on asking any questions. You swipe through the repair order list to find Montys workload.

While Attendants they automatically popped up at the top for you, as they were your designated job, other jobs could be picked up and completed, for shift covering purposes. Only if you had the authorization code off that animatronics handler, could you actually add the workload to your ID, however you had to actually find the work amongst the random repair and maintenance pings before you could attempt to take it on. You hoped they planned to make the thing easier to navigate in the future, but you had doubts it would happen Fazbear Entertainment wasn't known for simplicity after all.

You hum to yourself victoriously as you find Monty’s list, a simple cake hatch joint repair and a find and repair for minor wear and tear in his jaw. A little welding and a minor patch job. Should be easy.

Right?

May 23rd 2032, One hour later

Wrong… You were so wrong. This alligator was a dick. An enormous one too.

No wonder he went through so many handlers. The smug laughing, the snapping teeth when you got near, the full speed running away . You don’t remember him doing this last time you had to cover any work done to him, but you didn’t really remember having to wrangle him at all, perhaps he’d already been down in Parts and Services waiting? It had been a few years since then. He could have had a personality transplant for all you knew since then.

“Monty” You yell, composure slipping due to sheer frustration “For the love of GOD”

You felt ready to tear your hair out, when you had arrived the gator had taken one look at you, magically known you were here to do his maintenance, and disappeared into the overhead ride in his attraction. Leading you on a merry little chase around his attraction, up and down many many stairs and you were pretty sure you’d tagged all four walls of the place. You’d been forced to close off areas to cage him in a smaller zone, causing outrage among the customers and Karens. Their rage only growing when you had shut down rides to cut off escape routes, in your sheer utter desperation.

Never mind repair work, you were going to dismantle this jackass if you got your wrench near him.

May 23rd 2032, several more hours later

You were just glad to be finally doing the work, 3 hours you had chased him down, trapping him hadn't worked due to the sharpness of his claws, he just busted through barricades with a single swing of his arm and a manic cackle. Eventually you just gave up the hunt and just got, begged, Freddy’s handler to come help. Thank god for Al, the beanpole of a man showed up without hesitation, he even brought Freddy with him to shame the alligator for running you about so much, the bear gladly lectured Monty on his inappropriate behaviour, even forcing the worlds most insincere apology out of the shameless gator after he was wrangled.

One fake apology later, you had Monty strapped into the cylinder for his repair work, it felt like overkill to you, strapping all his limbs down and you hadn't even been able to attach them all, needing to keep his chest unbound. Monty was apparently meant to be strapped down like a dangerous mental patient. He had a past with previous mechanics, but if some of them treated him as they had treated people, you were sure they’d done something to deserve it.

He was still ‘awake’ despite every inch of you wanting to turn him off to spite him. However you didn’t feel like dealing with the paperwork for shutting him off, there would be at least 6 or 7 forms to fill in afterwards making you explain and repeat yourself, it just wasn't worth it for covering a shift.

With the welding mask on you had no peripheral vision, you were welding a shiny new hinge to Monty's cake hatch the original one was too damaged to do anything with. It was always a little unnerving to you having some vision cut off, but it kept your focus on the work directly in front of you. Flicking the welder off, you sit up rolling your shoulders to crack your upper back as you go. Gracelessly you drop the machine on the table beside you, it landed with a clatter but you paid it no mind, already pulling the mask off so you can glare at Monty properly, you could feel him staring at you the entire time, burning holes into you. He closes his hatch before you can even tell him to, either sensors telling him it was completed, or he was taking the clatter of equipment to mean you were finished.

You swear he was smirking at you when you couldn’t see him.

“Jaw next” You declare “Report”

“So angry cher” He laughed, you scowled you hadn't had enough time to cool down from the anger inducing chase to deal with his bullshit.

“Report. Jaw. Status.” You ground out, every nerve at its wits end.

His eyes rolled “Left side malfunction, Main piston error”

You nodded that narrowed things down to a fairly small section, you stand up, lowering the table reluctantly to grant access to his face. The last thing you wanted to do was to putting your hands anywhere near his teeth. He’d bitten a mechanic in the past, he’d apparently torn into muscle and coated his face in blood, no one knew why or what caused it, but the man had moved to working with Chica for a few months and eventually went to another Plex. Taking only a glowing reference and a nasty looking scar with him.

“Do. Not. Bite” You try to look threatening but the amused snort informs you of your failure. It was probably the shake in your voice that dispelled the threat, keeping the tone you commanded him again “Open”

Surprisingly obedient, Monty opens his mouth widely, an amused light in his eye as he watches you closely, almost like he can hear you whine internally like a little child that had their sweets taken away. Then faux-bravely, using every spare inch of bravado you owned, you stick your hand in. His snout was longer than your forearm, your elbow only touching roughly two thirds of the way along his teeth when you had your hand so deep in his mouth. He could do some serious damage to you if he wanted right now, you’d certainly get more than just a nasty scar off of him.

Shaking away the grim thought you focused on staring and groping at the deep set joint, you would have to compare your findings to his schematics to ensure you replaced the right bits, however you think you can feel a tiny crack in one of the supporting rods. If you were right it was minor enough you could patch up with a little filler for stability until his handler came back to do the actual fix. The only issue being that you could only feel it, you couldn’t for the life of you see it. Withdrawing your hand, you reach for a flashlight, and lower him a little more hoping for a better angle.

“Can you open your jaw any wider?” More room wouldn't hurt if you could have it.

Monty hissed in displeasure “Not until the damage is repaired”

You hum, surprised the safety lock on his jaw was in place for a small crack. The safety lock was a simple feature that just stopped any bot from exerting any pressure on a damaged part, it was useful for both animatronic and mechanic. In this case it stopped Monty straining his jaw and potentially snapping the rod which, depending on how much that rod supported, may have his jaw clamp down mercilessly around your arm, trapping you. It was a nice little feature that had stopped many accidents.

“Alright, I can manage a patch job with the space I have. But we’ll have to leave the safety on until you can get the rod replaced”

He was staring at you blankly, his voice confused when he responded “Okay”

With your back to him, frantically scrolling through your FazPad to find his structural schematics, you couldn’t see the incredulous look he was giving you, completely unused to being told what was going to happen. You were explaining to him what needed to be done, beforehand and at all, he usually had to run scans on himself to find out what exactly had been worked on while he was in here. Silently he watched you dig through drawers trying to find the correct filling agent and tools for his jaw.

“You’ll not be able to bellow as dramatically for the kids for a few days but I'm sure they'll survive” You smile at him over your shoulder briefly, you were still mad with him but to a lesser degree, the anger was burning out now. Besides welding always improved your mood even if you hated the mask, it was as close to playing with fire that you allowed yourself.

He didn't respond other than to grunt at you, which you took to just be part of his tough guy personality until you turned around to see him studying you like you were an interesting bug.

Well that was unnerving. You felt like he was planning on how best to cook you up.

“Lets get started then” You clap brusquely, trying to break whatever spell he was trying out.

“Sure thing” He snorted as he turned his head to look back up at the ceiling of the cylinder, somehow you had amused him again.

“Alright, Open up” This time you listen closely as he opens and you hear the small click of the safety engaging.

You click the flashlight on and reach back into his mouth, immediately poking where you had felt the damage. You squint at the area, shining the light at the area your fingers where prodding, desperately trying to get a visual. You lean in closer, actually pressing your forehead against the side of his snout, to see. The feel of his teeth against your temple twisted your stomach into a knot, you suspect it was the size coupled with his brash behaviour, you were doing your best to ignore them when you finally see the damage. Hallelujah. You can now state on the paperwork that you successfully ensured the crack was free of debris before patching it.

“Finally” You mutter to yourself, whispering and estimated length to yourself to write down later “Looks clean” You announce to Monty “I can start patching now that’s confirmed”

“Great” He answers you, causing you to flinch at the unexpected response, you half worried for a second some moving bit would chop off a finger, before remembering all his vocal capabilities lay in his lower throat and chest. It was only The Daycare Attendant who had his voice stored in his head.

The small vibration you feel makes you aware of the suppressed laughter. You supposed you could forgive him for making you jump when he was attempting to hide his amusement, even though he was doing so poorly at it. He must be warming up to you... maybe. You gave him points for pretending to care about your pride anyway.

“I can go after you finish the patch?” He asked once the vibration settled down, you don’t notice his volume being lower than normal, the almost hesitation in his tone, like he was unsure if he could ask.

“We’ll have to run a minor scan to make sure its good but after that we’ll re-release you into the wilds of Monty Golf”

He let out an amused chuff, you suppose he was likeable then, he had just laughed at your lame joke after all, when he wasn't being an ass.

May 2 5th 2032 – A Terrifying Text

[T – P&S Manager]: Hey, I know you’re off today but I need you to submit the shutdown paperwork from Montgomery Gater’s maintenance on the 23 rd .

[You]: I didn’t shut him down?

[T – P&S Manager]: WHAT?!

#fnaf sb #fnaf monty gator #five nights at freddy's

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bryantbateman1 · 2 years

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#smart phones

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darkdevasofdestruction · 3 years

Text

An Angel and A Demon ~ Pyramid Head x Reader

Update 2: My laptop restarted when I was in the middle of writing this, and trust me when I say it, I am positively pissed off, and I want to end my days, that's how bad of a day this was.

And I didn't leave the house.

That says a lot about today...

Update 1: But, without further ado, I was half-way writing this story, and I received this ask, and let me tell you...

helloooo, i absolutely adored the fanfics you wrote about kazan and danny🥺 could i request one where pyramid head is just really whipped for and in love with the survivor! reader but he doesnt know how to announce it to them so he brings her random ,,gifts" in and outside the trials and protecting her bc well, im pretty sure he cant speak so he doesnt really have any other options on how to express his feelings??

I live for it.

Bless you for sending me this, it's the reason I'm still sane right now.

I love you, baby-cakes.

Update 3: I want to kill myself so bad. Just smash my head on a wall until it explodes or sth. I was so happy with how this imagine turned out, only fuck fucking tumblr to just fucking delete EVERYTHING just as I was about to put the last gif and hit POST NOW.

--------

For the 5th time writing this :

FUCKMEDADDY - but this time - FUCKMYBRAINSOUTPLEASEIWANNADIE

Thanks.

-------

Hell - What was that place, anyway?

Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it's eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?

But never would have anyone thought that 'Hell' could look so...Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still...Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.

All this darkness, this hatred, this...Everything...It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren't sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.

But even in this abyss where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone's straying souls with her benevolence.

In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish's head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness...It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.

On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn't much, but if he had to, he'd rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul's beauty, the last parts of her humanity.

The other Killers were confused at the Trapper's actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold' she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.

The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren't surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn't able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!' she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor's camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.

These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!' she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.

Even Ghostface wasn't exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You're a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!'

And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother's lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone's skins.

Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.

He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.

Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn't help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard...

Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.

Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.

"H-Hey, u-uhm...Need some help?" she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. "Okay, uhm...I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I'll go fetch it and I'll come back for you. Don't move." she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. "...I'm sorry, ignore me, I'm an idiot." she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.

However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. "Okay, I'm here, I found the vaseline! Let's try to get you out of here." Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can't balance myself with both hands occupied, and I'd rather not fall." she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost...Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.

"Ouchie..." she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. "Are you okay?" she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. "O-Oh...! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you're bleeding too! Hold up, let me help." she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. "It may sting a bit, and I'm really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon." her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then..."This is grandma's marigold ointment. It's really good, and it smells nice." she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. "Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you'll feel better very soon!" her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.

It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so...Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.

It didn't matter how many hardships she's been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh' to its mamma sheep.

He couldn't allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.

He didn't understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.

"Th-This sword is so heavy...H-How can you carry this around like that...?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore...Y-You really need a massage, I'm sure." she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. "Hehe...You're really strong. I'm embarrassed now." she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.

Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn't hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn't feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.

"O-Oh...! Thank you so much! You're really kind! I really appreciate this...I-I know it probably doesn't matter much to you, since you'll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors...But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!" her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn't talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth' and execute the injust, miracles still existed.

As soon as she reached the survivor's camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. "Oh, but he wasn't that bad. In fact, he's much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!" okay, she's lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she's always been a bit...Out of it, so who cares?

It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers' camp. "How the hell did you manage to survive?!" they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. "Oh, you see...I found the hatch." she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.

As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time...He seemed kinda...Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer's camp, calling out the lonely one's name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them...

"Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there...I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial...Here, this is a marshmallow. I don't think you've had many before...Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in...So I hope this will make your day a bit better!" Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.

What the hell was he turning into?

A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand...He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.

She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn't wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.

"Ah...! You liked it, didn't you? Well...Next time, I promise I'll give you more!" she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn't talk, silence took over them - It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. "W-Well...I'll guess I'll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!" she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.

When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.

Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn't out of fear or anything negative...It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.

It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.

An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.

As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it...She appreciated him.

"Thank you." she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.

She was hooked.

Hope you liked my completely shameless pun, I couldn't stop it, especially after the pain I went through trying to write this...3 freaking times.

Yay.

#dead by daylight #dead by daylight x reader #dead by daylight imagine #dbd #dbd x reader #dbd imagine #silent hill #silent hill x reader #silent hill imagine #pyramid head #pyramid head x reader #pyramid head imagine #red pyramid #red pyramid x reader #red pyramid imagine

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theravenclawlover · 4 years

Text

Welcome to the Industry of Porn

Paring: Avengers X Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, heavy smut, drinking, slight angst in later chapters, fluff if you squint, and my English as usual.

Word Count: 2,357

Summary: AU where the Avengers are Pornstars. It’s pretty self explanatory.

Chapter: 1

Chapter Tittle: Sticky Fingers

A/N: This first chapter was edited so much from its original draft. The smut is less cringe in my opinion, but it still holds the same idea. I think that's what's going to happen to most of my chapters for this book (if you’ve read the original version which can literally be found in my other sites sans now the first chapter, you would see how different it is now). I really would like to leave the old version up to see how my writing style has changed, but I don't want to create a whole new book for that. Because I'm editing the whole document, technically destroying the first draft. But oh well...I don't have any new ideas for this yet, so don't expect any new chapters from what I have posted.

At the age of 21, you found yourself living in an apartment with your college roommate. You had dropped out of college around a month or so into the fall semester of your last year. It had taken you that long to call it quits, and it had been stupid, really, but you couldn’t take it anymore. Not only the prior year your grades had gone to the floor and you’d fallen into a dark corner in your life that had taken the help of some of your friends and your roommate from your first two years had been nice enough to rent you a room. She lived off campus as her parents had given her the money for the first two months for the rent, it was up to her to keep on paying it.

Your parents had no clue about your reckless decisions and for the time being you were planning on them not finding out. It was wishful thinking, but that’s what kept you going even if as the days passed by it seemed less likely to happen.

Living in L.A was not easy, especially when you had no job and only lived by the money your parents sent every other month to make sure you had enough. They knew you had no job, and they were okay with it because in their mind you were working your butt off. Journalism was supposed to be what you were majoring in, but college had put a dent on the beauty you had seen on it before classes started to make you ill. It was ridiculous to say the least, the amount of stuff you had to submit with barely any time to truly make it happen.

In this city everything was expensive, and it was easy to point out those who could really afford to live here by choice, and those who came here to study. You felt like a fish out of water as you were not a girl from a big city, in fact, you grew up in a beautiful small town in Montana. Everyone knew each other, even if you weren’t friends with that person, you knew who their cousin Mike was, or you knew if their uncle Bob had gone to prison because he had been drinking and causing mayhem around townhall.

Sure, you missed home, and there was nothing compared to the noise of the small town that even though loud it was familiar and welcomed. But like many of those who only knew that town, you wanted out as soon as graduation came around. You wanted a sense of dependency, but just like everyone else, you had failed to see the reality of making such big change. Even now, after three years in L.A., you didn’t regret it—only on those long nights that the silence got too loud for your harsh mind.

But as another dull day in your life after having dropped out came, you were sitting in front of your laptop doing nothing but stress over the hopeless job hunt. Most days were like that, staring into the bright screen as the jobs were too demanding of you or not your type of gig. As much as you told yourself to not be picky about the jobs, it was impossible for you to skip past the one in search of servers. You didn’t have personal experience, but your friends had enough to warn you off of the nightmare it was.

You swore under your breath as you groaned out your frustration; every job position you did end up digging further asked for either some previous experience or a college degree. Fucking hell.

As you rolled your eyes and set your forehead on the desk’s border, your stomach gave a growl that made you scrunch up your nose. You had forgotten to eat something after waking up, and now after hours of sitting in search of a miracle, your stomach protested in hunger. With a sigh that escaped your nostrils, you walked out of your small room and walked down the hall toward the kitchen. You stood there for a solid minute before deciding on what to eat. Grabbing some wheat bread, you set two slices on a clean plate and went to look for the almost empty container of Nutella and the almond butter. As you spread the almond butter on the bread, you noticed the silence the rest of the apartment had fallen. You were home alone. You had forgotten that Cassie—your roommate—had gone out with her photography class to work on a project for their senior capstone.

Glancing at the clock on the wall above the counter, you grinned to yourself as you saw that she wasn’t coming back for another hour and a half, thus giving you enough time alone to do what you have been prolonging for a couple of weeks now.

Inhaling your quick snack, you put the knife and plate in the dishwasher and washed your hands before heading back to your room.

Unplugging your now charged phone, you grabbed your headphones and threw yourself on top of your bed. Getting rid of your shorts, and t-shirt, you positioned yourself in the middle of your bed, slightly blushing at the whole situation. No matter how many times you’ve pleasured yourself, the blush on your cheeks never failed to appear. It had been weeks since you last had the mind to destress like this, and the fact that you haven’t dated in what feels like forever only added as to why you were becoming sexually frustrated.

Finally getting the headphones untangled, you plugged them in and soon you found yourself opening a tab on safari on the private search. You didn’t know what your mood wanted, so you decided to go to a general website and soon cringed at the amateur and more realistic videos they had on the trending page popped up. You scrolled for a minute before opting for just looking up your favorite channel, The Avengers.

You had found the site soon after your curiosity peeked at the age of 14. They had the hottest pornstars you've ever gotten off to, and what made it better was that, unlike most acted out scenes, they made it seem like an actual movie scene. Most of their videos were connected, others were just segments, and others were holiday specials. They had everything. You had probably seen most of their videos hundreds of times, and unbeknown to anyone, you had a subscription under your ex’s name. The fact that he had yet to cancel the subscription made you wonder if he knew and enjoyed the perks as you did. He probably had no clue you had used his card, he probably thought he’d done it.

Once you had logged into your account, you noticed that there were a couple of new videos added to their page. You read their tittles and not even two videos down you had clicked one at random to surprise yourself. When the video loaded, you silently squealed when two of your favorite characters/actors appeared on screen and started to talk. Black Widow and Captain Rogers were looking around what it seemed like an old run-down warehouse. The plot of the video was simple, they had received intelligence that some HYDRA (what they called their bad guys) soldiers had been spotted coming in and out of the place as of recently. As they talked, you marveled at their beauty, and at how hot they looked in those costumes of theirs. At times you wished you could be part of that, and the idea of getting wrecked by them only made you rub your legs together as your body started to heat up at the thought.

Not sooner had they reached nowhere with their search of clues, the scene had turned to Cap admiring Black Widow in her usual tight attire. And as one thing led to another, Cap had pulled her in and kissed her hard on the mouth with her only melting around his big arms. But your excitement grew as you noticed how the camera now showed a lurking Winter Soldier—another of your favorite characters. while the Soldier was behind them, looking from the shadows. Soon enough the redhead that was Black Widow freed Cap of his clothes as he pulled down her own. She kneeled when she had pulled down the suit he wore, and without warning she started to lick the man’s hard and thick length.

Your hand that was on your lower tummy now trailed touches on your body, and unconscious action from your part, as it only aided to the ever-growing need between your legs.

When she started to suck him off with the obscene act of deepthroating, your fingers played with your hardening nipples. You were now biting your lip as you only took in how she worked her way down to the base of his cock. He never failed to praise her, to voice his pleasure to her, and to the now you admired the aroused Winter Soldier.

After some minutes of the redhead gagging around him, and some minutes of you playing with your now hard nipples, Cap pulled her up, and as she stood she glanced at the man behind them. The Winter Soldier had been caught, and before he could escape, Cap invited the man over. With slight hesitation he walked over toward them, but soon no ounce of hesitation was found in his body as Cap pulled him in for a heated kiss.

You let out a small whimper as your fingers had now found themselves slowly rubbing your clit atop your underwear that now was covered by a damp spot. The man was rid of his armor as the redhead took it upon herself to leave him in the same level of nakedness as her. But not sooner had she kneeled and sucked on his hard member, had she been pulled up again and pressed flat against a table-looking surface. Both men gave a nod to the other, and Cap positioned himself behind the Black Widow while the Winter Soldier invited her to suck on him like she had wanted before.

And like that, the woman found herself being used by them as one of them fucked her from behind, smacking her ass every so often, making her almost as red as her hair while another man gripped said hair allowing him to use her throat as he pleased.

You were now panting as your fingers rubbed your hard and wet clit. The hand that held the phone started to slightly shake as the rubbing continued, but you almost dropped your phone when two of your thin fingers entered your needy hole.

By now the men had changed positions as the woman had already twitched and moaned out her first orgasm. And they keep like that until she squirmed and came on the other man’s cock. Neither of them giving in on their orgasm.

The Soldier pulled her up, and the Black Widow’s legs seemed to shake as she tried to keep herself upright as the men walked her over a little to the side as they now enclosed her with one of them pressed on her back while the other pressed her front. A messy three-way kiss ensued, and now your fingers seemed to not be enough as you felt yourself near your orgasm but always needed something more.

But not sooner had you added another finger to your soaked sex, you moaned at what came next.

The men had entered the woman, each filling one hole at a time. Cap was inside her used pussy while Winter Soldier slipped his cock inside her asshole. You and the redhead moaned at the same time; she felt the stretch and fill, but you saw it as the camera now provided a view from a better angle. With only seconds to assimilate her situation, she soon started to shamelessly moan and squeal at the feeling of being used like a toy between two men.

The rhythm they had set was merciless, and the clapping of skin, the squelching of her wet pussy only made you dizzy. You had removed your ruined underwear, and in seconds each foot went to a side of your bed to keep your legs open as the thrusting of your fingers brought you closer to your orgasm.

The groans, moans, whines, and dirty talk was making you now lose some of the grip on your phone, but you kept on going even as you twitched and forced your legs to keep themselves spread open as your thin fingers did their best to get you off.

And the people that were making you approach your orgasm seemed to be reaching theirs before you as both men came after the woman between them had gotten her third orgasm. They came with groans and whimpers, but soon pulled out of her, and just before you dropped your phone as you came with a loud whimper around your soaked fingers and hand, you saw how the cum from their deed dripped out of her as the camera greedily caught the filthy show.

It took you a couple of minutes to regain the feeling of you body back, and as you calmed yourself down and proceeded to clean yourself in the bathroom and put some clothes back on, you neglected to see you had clicked out of the video and managed to click on one of the many ads of the website.

When you grabbed your phone after feeling much lighter than before, you noticed the foreign page you had clicked on. And as you scanned it over, you noticed it was an ad claiming to be looking for new ‘talents’ for the industry of porn.

You read over the ad, made sure it was legitimate. And after you had your little fit of giggles as you told yourself that you couldn’t do porn, you looked at your forgotten job hunt that your laptop had been mocking you with earlier.

And just like that you found yourself closing all the other tabs and typing the most random of google searches you’ve ever made: requirements to work in the industry of porn.

I don’t remember if anyone wanted to be tagged for this, but let me know if want to be tagged for the updates!

Welcome to the industry taglist:

@ginger-haired-queen

Permanent Taglist:

@musiclover812

@cnco-ravenclaw-46

@teapartydreams

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stepphase · 2 years

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Best rated pc game in 2022

We've still had some pretty awesome game launches in 2022.

Immeasurable games are flocking onto our screens and into our libraries across a mess of platforms. Taking the United States of America on new adventures. And discovering epic characters, fascinating stories, and, above all, many fun with friends. Because the year attracts to an in-depth. A number of you'll have pondered what games hit a high note with fellow players.

Here, we've placed along with the highest fifty laptop games of 2022. As rated by gamers/users on Metacritic - to seem back on that AAA. And Indies are well-received this year, besides some wise words from the critics too.

5.4/10 Farming Simulator 22 - 5.4/10 5.8/10 INDUSTRIA 5.8/10 The Good Life 6/10 Astria Ascending 6.1/10 JETT: The Far Shore 6.4/10 Jurassic World Evolution 2 6.4/10 Solar Ash 6.5/10 Riders Republic 6.8/10 Time Loader 6.9/10 FORZA HORIZON 5 7/10 Killsquad 7/10 After the Fall 7.1/10 Football Manager 2022 7.1/10 Chorus 7.1/10 Halo Infinite 7.2/10 Bright Memory: Infinite 7.3/10 Crysis Remastered Trilogy 7.3/10 Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One 7.3/10 Hextech Mayhem: A League of Legends Story 7.4/10 FIGHTS IN TIGHT SPACES 7.4/10 Lemnis Gate 7.4/10 Exo One 7.5/10 Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade 7.6/10 AWAY: The Survival Series 7.6/10 Unsighted 7.7/10 Ruined King: A League of Legends Story 7.8/10 Gloomhaven 7.8/10 Unpacking 7.9/10 The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes 7.9/10 AGE OF EMPIRES IV 8/10 In Sound Mind 8/10 Happy Game 8/10 Archvale 8.1/10 Shovel Knight Pocket Dungeon 8.1/10 Aeterna Noctis 8.2/10 The Eternal Cylinder 8.2/10 Hot Wheels Unleashed 8.2/10 The Legend of Tianding 8.2/10 Blue Reflection: Second Light 8.2/10 SHADOW TACTICS: BLADES OF THE SHOGUN - AIKO'S CHOICE 8.3/10 Grow: Song of the Evertree 8.4/10 Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan 8.4/10 Lone Echo II 8.4/10 Final Fantasy V Pixel Remaster 8.5/10 Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye 8.5/10 Impostor Factory 8.5/10 Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy 8.6/10 The Riftbreaker 8.7/10 Inscryption 9.5/10 FINAL FANTASY XIV: ENDWALKER

We are here to hear from you

Of course, you can contact us to let us know if we are missing something on our stepphase.com page. I hope you like it and by the way, thank you for your visit.

Have a good day! See you all soon.

#Stepphase #technologies #technology #tech #technews #techworld #techtrends #smartphone #apple #techupdates #futuretechnology #newtech #techgeek #technologynews #technologythesedays #smarttechnology #technologylover #technologytrends #technologyblog #gadgets #smartphone #gadget #marketing #digital #india #technologyisawesome #amazing #repost

#games #Latest_Games #PC_Games #Video_Games

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ghostspideys-moved · 4 years

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In A Flash [S.H.]

a/n: yes this is another superhero au, no I don’t have all the details figured out since it’s a one shot, and yes this is very self indulgent.

word count: 1.6k

pairing: steve harrington x reader

summary: After a horrible accident puts your friend, Steve in a coma, he wakes up nine months later only to start acting super weird. You think he’s hiding something from you.

For as long as you can remember, you and Steve Harrington have been great friends. You’ve been through everything together, and to say you’ve seen some weird things would be an understatement.

A few years ago, for example, something unpredictable and devastating happened.

It was a pretty big event that most of the city was paying attention to. S.T.A.R. Labs was unveiling a particle accelerator. Seeing that thing finally turn on was, like, a huge dream of Steve’s. Getting off early from his job as a CSI was a blessing. He thought he’d have to miss it, and although you didn’t get the excitement, you gladly went along with him.

Of course, none of that went exactly to plan. You weren’t there for very long. As luck would have it, someone stole your bag, which had your laptop in it. Steve ran after the guy, though he wasn’t the greatest runner in the world. He took a few hits and looked horribly out of breath when you caught up to him. Thankfully, the guy was caught, and you helped Steve back to the station. You felt bad when you noticed the bloody nose he was tending to, but you were very grateful that he’d even tried to help you. And you made sure he knew that.

What neither of you knew was that everything was about to get a lot weirder that night.

Steve stayed at the station and went up to his lab by himself. He turned on the TV, listening to the news. Now that he was missing the event at S.T.A.R. Labs, he might as well listen to the reports. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something. It was raining outside now, and pretty hard at that. That was when he heard the reporter urging everyone to stay inside. From the window, Steve spotted what he assumed was some sort of explosion. And it looked like it was coming from S.T.A.R. Labs.

The storm was growing worse and worse by the minute, and he thought to take care of the one thing he had control over right now. The skylight in his lab was still open, and the last thing he needed was for the storm to flood his lab. But as he was closing it, the worst thing happened. Steve barely had time to react, and he didn’t think he could have if he really tried. Because being struck by lightning wasn’t exactly a very avoidable problem. He was knocked over, crashing into the shelves where a bunch of chemicals were stored, and then he blacked out.

Getting the news that Steve was in a coma thanks to that lightning strike was pretty heart-wrenching. You visited him in the hospital everyday, hoping he’d wake up. You brought him flowers, talked to him, anything you thought might help. And though it took nine months, he did wake up.

There were some unforeseen side effects, though. Ones you didn’t even think were possible. At first, you didn’t notice - he’d hid it so well from you - but it was becoming clear that something was wrong. You had enough to deal with. Your job at CC Jitters wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t exactly fulfilling either. And, thanks to the particle accelerator explosion, there were “meta-humans” roaming the city, most of them dangerous. Always using their newfound powers for crime. And lately, Steve was acting weirder than normal, and he always disappeared randomly when meta-humans were causing mayhem.

After months of Steve’s recurring disappearances, you were starting to put the pieces together. You had some suspicions early on, but you just didn’t want to believe it. The idea of Steve being a meta-human was crazy, much less the thought of him being the biggest hero in the city.

You weren’t quite sure how to ask him, either. If you were wrong, you’d just sound crazy. And if you were right, you weren’t sure how you’d handle knowing your best friend was the Streak.

And although you didn’t hate your job serving coffee, you found blogging to be a much better use of your time. Your favorite subject was the Scarlet Speedster himself. It was easy writing about him, but scoring an exclusive interview with the Streak like you wanted was easier said than done. Somehow, you found a way to get through to him.

When he agreed to meet you at Jitters, you were beyond ecstatic. And, if it really was Steve under that mask, you had no doubt getting him to answer your questions would be easy.

You waited for him despite how late it was. And just when you were starting to wonder if he’d show up, there was a gust of wind, and there he was. The Streak himself.

“Oh, good. You made it.” There was an unmistakable grin on your face that you couldn’t contain. You fumbled for your notepad, hoping to get some answers from him.

“Well, you really seem to like writing about me.” His voice was distorted, no doubt by his powers. So any chance of telling his identity from his voice was gone. You didn’t give up hope, though. “I’m guessing you have questions?” he asked.

Of course, you have more than a few questions, but you start slow. “I just think it would be great for the people to get to know their savior better,” you said. “Like, where you come from, how you got your powers, your favorite color…” You pause, looking over his suit. “Scratch that. I’m guessing it’s red.”

The Streak actually laughs at your rambling. “You talk a lot, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told. I just think it’s important everyone gets to know the Streak. I mean, you’ve already done so much for us.”

He groaned, hanging his head when he heard that god awful name. “As long as we can get rid of that name,” he said.

“What should we call you?”

“Anything but the Streak.”

Admittedly, you weren’t the biggest fan of it, either, but it caught on so quickly. “But you’ll answer my questions?” you asked, a hopeful gleam in your eyes.

He hesitated for a moment before caving in. “As long as they’re not too personal.” You were a little disappointed, but you understood. Criminals finding out who he was could be really bad for him, and you didn’t want that. Even if you did turn out to be wrong.

Naturally, you rambled off as many questions as you had, and he gladly answered those of them that he didn’t think were too personal. You wrote down every answer he gave until you had what you wanted.

“Thank you so much,” you said, snapping your notepad shut. “I still can’t believe you even agreed to this.”

“Well, I’m always happy to help. Any time you need me, I’ll be there in a flash.” In a Flash. Something about that stuck with you.

Before he could run off, you stopped him. “I just have one more thing to ask. This can stay between the two of us.”

You didn’t really have to see his face to know he was confused and intrigued. “What’s that?”

Even though you’d rehearsed this a million times in your head, you still hesitated. This could end horribly if you weren’t careful.

“Look, this might be way over the line for me to even ask, but I’ve noticed a friend of mine run off in the middle of an attack so many times. And I’m starting to wonder if there’s something he’s not telling me.” You see him stiffen as you continued, and you were sure he knew where this was going. “Steve, is that you?”

Your mind was racing, but you hoped you were right. Otherwise, you might have ruined this for good. This was your chance to finally meet the Streak and maybe to continue using him as a source, and you didn’t want to mess that up.

But he sighed in defeat before pulling off his mask. Even though you had some hope, it was because of the small part of you filled with doubt that you were still shocked to actually see Steve.

“I was going to tell you,” he promised. “Honest, I was. But I know it’s a lot to take in. It took me so long to really understand what was happening to me.”

This explained so much, though, and you were happy to finally have some answers. You walked the short distance over to him and pulled him into a tight hug. Steve was thrown off for a second, but he eagerly returned the embrace.

“I’m just glad I wasn’t wrong. I can’t believe you’re actually him. A superhero.” The disbelief was clear in your voice, but he didn’t seem to mind. It was a lot to process.

Steve laughed and looked down at you. “Sometimes I can’t believe it myself,” he admitted. “It’s been a crazy few months.” That alone felt like a huge understatement.

Both of you noticed the police cars fly by, and you knew he had to go now. You saw him hesitate before turning back to you. “I promise I’ll see you later.”

You nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. “I know. Go save the day.”

Steve grinned and pulled his mask back on. He was gone before you could even blink, and suddenly you were all alone. Since you’d been the one to lock up the shop, it was just you, so you used the time you had left to work on your blog. Now that you had enough to work with thanks to Steve, you put together a new entry on the Streak himself.

You remembered how much Steve hated that name, so you saw this as your chance to rename him. Something cooler and catchier. You stared at the blinking cursor before something he’d said came back to you. It wasn’t long before you finished typing, and you eagerly pushed the enter button. Now, thanks to you, the world might know just a little more about the Streak - or as you decided to call him, the Flash.

taglist: @charmedtenderness @nxncywheeler @koibecomedragons

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington one shot #stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #stranger things fic

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letterboxd · 3 years

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How I Letterboxd #12: Joe Lynch.

Self-described cinedork and Mayhem filmmaker Joe Lynch tells Horrorville’s Brett Petersel about cinematic sausage, getting to direct Creepshow episodes and being a three-star starter on Letterboxd.

“Even when I watch what I would think is a real stinker, I also consider that there were many people involved in that film who didn’t walk on set going ‘okay people, let’s screw this up today!’” —Joe Lynch

It is always a pleasure to find film directors lurking on Letterboxd. Joe Lynch is a bona fide, OG member, having racked up more than 1,500 diary entries, giving half-star reviews to his own work, and creating lists of the movies that have influenced the making of his films.

There are the films that were in Lynch’s subconscious when he made Mayhem, a workplace splatter led by Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving. There are the movies he watched while researching the Salma Hayek-starring Everly. And this just in: films that influenced The Right Snuff, one of Lynch’s two episodes for the new Creepshow series—based on the 1982 horror-comedy classic and its sequels—which premieres on Shudder April 15.

Like so many of us, Lynch took time during the pandemic to catch up on films he had neglected to watch in spite of a previous career as a video-store clerk (a Criterion Channel subscription helped him get on top of the backlog). In this edition of ‘How I Letterboxd’, Lynch discusses how those classics have informed his craft, who his Letterboxd faves are, and why the horror genre is the future of the industry.

Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving in Joe Lynch’s ‘Mayhem’ (2017).

How long have you been on Letterboxd? Joe Lynch: I remember when Letterboxd was in its beta phase way back in good ol’ 2012 and I couldn’t wait to sign up, breathlessly waiting for an invite to the party. At the time, I had a digital database where I would log movies I’ve seen, but it was always subject to whatever laptop or device I had handy and would just be a mess of titles with no rhyme or reason.

When a member follows you, what should they expect? I put it right up top in my description: “I am not a critic”, just a lover of cinema. At first I didn’t want to write “reviews” in the description, especially since I first started using the service whilst in the throes of a horrible experience making a film that I thought would bury me and I’d never work again. I was like, and I still feel this way, “who am I to rip on a movie when someone can throw it right back at me? Like ‘dude, you directed Knights of Badassdom, sit down’.”

I’ve always had the highest regard for filmmakers who can get anything made. So even when I watch what I would think is a real stinker, I also consider that there were many people involved in that film who didn’t walk on set going “okay people, let’s screw this up today!” but instead were trying their best and circumstances just got in the way, which always happens. Having made a few films and TV now, I’m fully aware of the trials and tribulations that go into making a movie and have all the respect in the world for anyone who can steer that ship to completion. It’s hard making movies and even harder making one that is your original vision [and] that is widely embraced by an audience.

I have very weird tastes so don’t be shocked if you glance at my recent activity and you see Casablanca, The Silence of the Lambs or Bigger Than Life right next to The Legend of Billie Jean, Con Air or Candyman 3. I’m usually bouncing all over the place in terms of what kinds of movies I’m screening. From films recommended to me, to films that I may be watching for research, or even just how I’m feeling that day and maybe need a good laugh or a good cry or to be scared stiff. I like that kind of variety. There’s something out there for everyone and every emotion. If anything, I’d say expect the unexpected when it comes to my viewing habits.

What’s your favorite feature to use and why? One of the residual effects of working at video stores as a kid was my desire to siphon people’s tastes in movies and possibly recommend films to others as well, so my favorite feature is the ease of use in logging films and being able to quickly recall those films as well in the event someone asks me “what’s something I should watch?”. Getting older, the “employee’s picks” in my head is getting a little harder to cross-reference than usual so to have the ability to whip out my phone and say “oh man, I just watched Possession and it was awesome!” is exponentially helpful to a cinedork like myself.

‘Big Trouble in Little China’ (1986)—a five-star film says Joe Lynch.

How do you rate the films you watch? For example, what type of film is worthy of a five-star review? Funny, I always start out on three-stars mainly because I’m so proud of the filmmakers actually getting it completed! I’ve been there! I’m somewhat biased in my reflections because I’m always rooting for the artists and from there, it’s usually gauged on both an emotional level and a technical level. I always get made fun of while watching movies because I can point out hidden cuts or when a shot is reversed but [I’m] not trying to point out flaws, it's just how my brain is wired at this point. When you pull the curtain back enough to see how the cinematic sausage is made, it's harder and harder to objectively watch a movie without trying to dissect how it was done. I try so hard to shut that part of my brain off to just passively enjoy a movie but it’s tough. I usually skew towards the positive.

The films I’ve given five-stars are movies that have continually affected me over the years and have inspired me as a person and a filmmaker, which is everything from The Empire Strikes Back, Dawn of the Dead and When Harry Met Sally... to Big Trouble in Little China, The Blob, The Last of the Mohicans. I looked back at my five-stars and it’s mostly movies that made a significant impression on me from an early age and continue to do so, maybe even more so as I get older and I view these movies in a different light.

The anthology show Creepshow returns to Shudder this month. Tell us about the two episodes you directed for the series, ‘Pipe Screams’ and ‘The Right Snuff’. Both Creepshow and Creepshow 2 were important films in my youth and even today, they were some of the first movies I remember where I wasn’t quite sure if I was supposed to be scared or laugh. These films proclaimed we could do both! As a disciple of George A. Romero, Stephen King and Tom Savini, Creepshow really shaped how I watched movies and how I made them—consider the anthology I did a few years back, Chillerama, as a prime example. So when Shudder announced the show, I had to do everything on my part to convince them I could take the baton from these masters of the macabre and do them and the many fans proud.

To come to the table and say “I want ‘The Right Snuff’ to feel like 2001: A Space Odyssey crashed into The Andromeda Strain, and ‘Pipe Screams’ is my homage to The Blob and Delicatessen”—and then everyone just immediately getting it—was a dream. Between the casts I was lucky enough to work with and the amazing crew, especially the FX geniuses at KNB, it really was one of those dream jobs I’ll never forget. I hope audiences dig the madness we conjured up on those!

Season 2 of the Shudder series ‘Creepshow’ returns to the horror streamer this month. A third season has been ordered.

If you were to expand the Mayhem universe, what would it look like? We tried! I pitched the producers the idea of the ID-7 virus in other locations and situations because in essence the idea of being uninhibited by mental and emotional constraints is so ripe. My favorite was the idea that it would get loose in a Wal-Mart or a mall on Black Friday when consumers swarm to these department stores for the best deals. You’ve seen the videos, it’s just mass hysteria. The footage already out there would have been perfect to use already and those people aren’t even infected!

Sadly it didn’t come to pass, mainly because they asked “how do we get Steven and Samara back?” and I didn’t want to force those characters into that scenario, Die Hard 2 style. Plus they’re both huge stars now and likely unavailable for the next twelve years. But the ideas people have thrown out to me show that it was impactful enough to warrant variant scenarios in a “what if?” way that’s really exciting. Who knows, maybe the ID-7 virus could find its way onto the set of a movie production…

What excites you about the future of filmmaking, especially in horror films? The world is embracing new faces and voices more than ever and it means we’re getting stories that may not have ever had the chance to flourish and be seen and heard before. For the longest time the system was much more rigid because executives and producers thought that the audience was much less accepting of a wider world view in cinema and I think the last ten years has proven them wrong. There shouldn’t be any more “token” character or “strong [insert non-white-male] character” descriptions in development meetings. I hear it less and less, which is great because that’s not our world and since cinema—especially horror—is and always should be a reflection of our culture and times, it should reflect these evolutions as well.

When I made Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, the discussions over how one of the characters—a Black character played by Texas Battle—survived at the end was not in the original script but I pushed for it mainly because it was rare for the Black character to do so in a horror film. That shouldn’t be an anomaly! Why can’t there be a ‘final guy’ or have the survivors be LGBT+ or a POC and not the usual stereotypes?

I think now it’s more commonplace to see this and it excites me for the future of the genre that artists are being more welcome to express themselves without it feeling like it’s a gimmick or a twist on the norm.

I think generations of kids growing up with horror now are gonna see these strides in the storytelling—and who’s telling the stories—and push it even further. Places like Netflix and Shudder are willing to take chances with new voices more than the studio system, now more than ever, and that’s only going to produce some great stories now and in the future.

Erica Leehrsen and Texas Battle in a scene from ‘Wrong Turn 2: Dead End’ (2007).

How has the pandemic affected your creativity and influenced your work moving forward? Aside from losing a bunch of gigs due to the shutdown and being delayed on shooting Creepshow—which was a blessing in disguise considering the time we took to further develop the scripts and design of each episode—one of the main effects of the pandemic was how it gave many of us the time to catch up on a lot of films, mainly older ones. As you’d see from my diary entries on this very site, my viewing habits changed from a lot of modern films in that rat-race of catching up with the latest release, to mainly watching films I loved in the past and a lot of ’40s to ’70s films that I never got around to.

We have the tendency as film lovers to keep a mental list of films we’ll eventually get around to as if we have all the time in the world, but with the threat of the apocalypse and no real new content coming our way at the usual rapid clip, it was so gratifying to buy an annual subscription to Criterion Channel and start watching films like The Old Dark House, The Crimson Kimono, Contempt and many others.

All of these films impacted how I view film now and have bled into future projects I’m working on—especially on the technical side, when the world wasn’t influenced vicariously through MTV coverage and letting scenes play out in masters or longer takes, relishing in the performance or the mise-en-scéne. So, silver linings!

Before we go, who are some of your favorite follows on Letterboxd? I’m a big fan of Sean Baker, who I’ve known for almost 20 years now! We worked together in NYC and I was already a big Greg the Bunny fan but our mutual appreciation for fringe and exploitation films, especially international horror and genre films, seems to have bonded us for life. I love when he posts what he’s watching. Even if he’s just saying he screened something on Blu or streaming, his thoughts on cinema are always enjoyable and engaging.

In the same breath, filmmaker Jim Cummings has the best perspective on modern filmmaking and he’s clearly a big fan of using Letterboxd, so whenever I see peers like them using the app it makes me feel less like an obsessive movie dork myself, who should be getting back to work.

Some of the other follows I really enjoy are cineastes like Elric Kane and Brian Saur, who are the hosts of the New Beverly podcast Pure Cinema. Writers Anya Stanley, David Chen, Walter Chaw and Lindsay Blair Goeldner, musician and filmmaker Brendon Small, writer and critic Brian Tallerico, author Glenn Kenny, filmmaker Rodman Flender—just to name a few people who clearly love film and love sharing their thoughts on films in a very thoughtful way.

More times than not, I’m getting some great advice for what to watch next in my “new from friends” section! Because, like being at the video store, it’s casual conversations like the ones on Letterboxd that I love and always steering me to new films or revisiting old ones with a new perspective.

Related content

Joe’s film influences for ‘The Right Snuff’ Creepshow episode

The Video Store: Hollie Horror’s list of horror films with memorable scenes in video stores

Office Workplace Horror: J Cara’s list of office horror and workplace thrillers

Follow Brett on Letterboxd

Follow Horrorville—the home for horror on Letterboxd

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orange-meringue · 4 years

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Lost And Found Q & A

(The Q&A is here! Yeah, I’m not sure exactly how many of you ended up coming over from AO3, but I’ve decided to do the Q&A for my fic here -sorry to those of you who are uninterested in my writing life, I’ve been really invested in Lost And Found lately.

The first question was submitted here on Tumblr, and the rest are all from AO3. I hope you’re satisfied with my answers, and if you have any more questions after this or just want some elaboration, please feel free to ask! I’ll add them on in a reblog!

Anyway, enjoy! I’ll put everything beneath the cut)

How does Donnie adjust to physical touch/affection in the future?

-Donnie is definitely touch-starved. No way around it. As mentioned in the fic, Draxum, Huginn, and Muninn never really gave him more than a few one-sided hugs, fist-bumps or handshakes. He’d never been fully hugged or held until he met his brothers, and it’s still very weird and new to him. But obviously his brothers (as well as April and Splinter, once you get to know them) are pretty touchy, but a few of them are better at picking up on Donnie’s thing with touch than others. Overtime I feel like they would be able to get him more and more acquainted with things like casual hugs and friendly touch, and the more he gets used to these things, the less they startle him every time. Though I do imagine he has a few relapses in the future (which I do plan to write about) where touch goes back to being startling and scary, and it takes him a day or so to warm back up to it. Mostly good things, though! Donnie truly does love the familial affection, though he’s not likely to admit it

When did the boys prepare Donnie’s room?

I imagine they made his room during the last chapter, after Splinter’s apology and after April and Mayhem left, when everyone began to split up to do their own things. The timeline is a little questionable, but I like to think they had a good hour in there, and most of the materials were already there and ready -the room was likely empty, too, and was acting as some sort of storage room that they never knew what to do with. I tried to make it obvious that they’d been pressed for time and hadn’t been able to do much, hence the hastily made bed frame and why there were only two other pieces of furniture

Will Donnie ever feel comfortable enough to remove his tech around the lair in the future?

I feel that, much like canon Donnie, wearing his tech is a bit of a habitual thing. He doesn’t really see a reason to take it off, even if he’s technically safe in the lair, especially because it was ingrained in him via Draxum that his tech is everything keeping him safe. His tech is his armor and his safety blanket, and even if he knows, logically, he’s not going to be ambushed in the middle of the lair, it’s hard to take it off. Eventually, though, I feel like his brothers help with that. At one point Raph probably starts trying to train him to build strength and muscle on his own so he doesn’t have to rely on his limb clamps, and, as Donnie gets more comfortable with his brothers, he starts feeling relaxed enough to remove his battle shell when lounging around with them

Would Splinter try to bond with Donnie and attempt to form a better connection with him?

Splinter really does love his son and wants to spend time with him! But...uh...as of the story’s ending...he doesn’t know very much about him. He knows he was raised by Draxum to be a soldier and is very good with technology, but other than that...next to nothing. But it’s a great motivator! Splinter 100% wants to know Donnie as well as he knows his other boys, so he pulls out every stop to try and bond with him, making sure not to rush him despite his curiosity and family-oriented nature, because Donnie is currently pretty skeptical of adults (even Splinter) for...obvious reasons. But he wants to get to know Splinter, too, and, yeah, he’s willing to sit through his 5+ hour Lou Jitsu monologues to let that happen

How does Donnie feel about the boys’ future plans to capture oozesquitos and sabotage Draxum? Does he still have conflicted feelings about humans?

After the initial adrenaline and shock of everything subsides, I feel like it was Donnie’s idea to go after the oozesquitos. He probably wakes up in a cold sweat one night remembering oh yeah, Draxum and I unleashed a swarm of carrier bugs upon New York that are set on turning people into mutants and immediately feels the need to remedy his past mistake. So he builds a device to track the oozesquitos, which leads the boys to Big Mama’s hotel, and the rest is history (though slightly different than it was in canon, considering Donnie’s knowledge of Big Mama’s schemes and the Battle Nexus). But in terms of Draxum, Donnie would definitely be far more hesitant about trying to sabotage him. Donnie is still afraid of Draxum, after all -a small part of him feels like everything with his brothers is only temporary, and eventually he’s going to be stuck with Draxum again, and the further on his bad side he gets now, the worse it’s going to be when that does happen. He never directly challenges or fights Draxum whenever they run into him, and if there’s a way to avoid clashing with him altogether, he’ll take it

As for humans, Donnie’s definitely still conflicted about them. It’s been ingrained in him his whole life that humans are evil and selfish- that they forced his whole race underground and that’s the reason they now live in secrecy. And honestly, not even Splinter actually knows if that’s true. So Donnie remains skeptical, but overtime he’s able to do a lot more things around the city without fear of humans. They’re not actually that dangerous, he discovers, and maybe -just maybe- they’re alright. But there’s only one human Donnie grows to fully trust, and that’s April. In his eyes, she’s already proved her loyalty and compassion and, y’know, desire not to out him and his brothers to all of human-kind, not to mention she’s super badass and someone Donnie does not want on his bad side again. She’s a good friend, he realizes. He can definitely understand why she’s part of the family

How much does Donnie know about the Hidden City? Does he know about Big Mama and her hotel? How would the boys’ interactions with Big Mama change with this version of Donnie?

Considering he was raised with Draxum (who is apparently a well-known public figure in the Hidden City) he definitely has a fair amount of knowledge about the place, as well as a few ins and yōkai to go to when he needs something done. He’s very well-known himself, and actually has a reputation as a very intimidating soldier. He’s also well-versed in Big Mama’s tricks, because she and Draxum have done business before and she’s 100% tried to kidnap him for the Battle Nexus (emphasis on tried). Harking back to the question about Donnie’s oozesquito-capturing plan, the episode would definitely go differently with him there. It would be a great Leo and Donnie bonding episode, because neither of them trust Big Mama in the slightest, and Raph and Mikey would be far more cautious around her, though still intrigued by the concept of a mutant hotel and her apparent interest in helping them. But I think Donnie would manage to slip out with Leo before their brothers are captured, then it would be a race with a hilarious amount of arguing until they rescue Raph and Mikey, then everything would likely proceed as normal for the rest of the episode

Is Donnie jealous that April gets to attend school? What would his relationships with the Purple Dragons be like?

Donnie has no idea what school is. He’s heard mention of it in shows he’s pirated, but it isn’t until April comes to him one day complaining about her workload that he asks what she’s talking about. Once she explains it, he’s ecstatic! A place you can go to learn about math, science, history, and any other subject you could ever want? How much does it cost? ...It’s free?! He’s begging April to smuggle him in. She absolutely does not want to deal with that, but Donnie did make her a whole laptop and upgrade her phone a whole bunch, so how can she say no? She agrees to take him the next day, but it doesn’t fully occur to Donnie that the school is crowded with humans until he gets there. He’s on-edge the entire day, and it doesn’t help that he’s a weird green-skinned new kid no one’s ever seen before. I imagine it would be a great chapter for some good old fashioned Donnie and April bonding, and I’m 100% going to write it now, so anything else would be considered a spoiler

As for the Purple Dragons, I imagine their relationship wouldn’t be too different. The Purple Jacket episode would go relatively the same way, though I imagine Donnie would be a little more reluctant to actually join the Dragons, and way more irritating throughout the rest of the episode. But the plot and their feelings toward each other would likely remain the same

Does Donnie still eat bugs?

The whole thing with the bugs is basically...Draxum didn’t know what to feed Donnie as a baby, so he went to a local animal expert who recommended things like fruits, veggies, bugs, etc. So, considering that Draxum’s main priority was rebuilding his lab and he didn’t really have the resources to get food for anyone but himself (and maybe Huginn and Muninn- though they probably stuck to dumpster diving), Donnie’s appetite ended up consisting completely of typical turtle food, and only when he got older did Draxum started adding in things like nutrient bars and protein shakes, just to help him build more strength and muscle. So Donnie never really had anything else before he met his brothers, and it feels weird to him to jump straight from turtle to human food, so he slowly incorporates more of the latter into his diet overtime. He does still eat bugs, though. Splinter started getting him things like bug chips and seasoned bugs to make it less unsettling, but now he just eats those all the time and none of the others care for it. If a live bug happens to get in his way, he definitely won’t hesitate to eat it, and, yeah, sometimes it’s startling and almost made Leo throw up once, but it’s also really helpful if there’s a bug in the lair and none of the others want to deal with it. Donnie has eaten a spider before. The others just pretend it never happened

#rottmnt fic #rottmnt separated au #these were fun to write! Hope I gave you guys the answers you were looking for #special shoutout to lizwuzthere for asking literally 7/8 of the Q&A questions thank you so much alsdkfjhas #Lost And Found

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sinkix · 4 years

Text

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library.

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off.

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating???

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

#hq #haikyuu #nekoma #yaku morisuke #lev haiba #yamamoto taketora #kuroo testuro #kenma kozume #inuoka sou

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starryseo · 4 years

Text

mess. [1/3] | seo changbin

pairing ↠ changbin x gn!reader genre ↠ typical chaotic roommates behaviour (humour + fluff) wc ↠ 1678 summary ↠ cleaning is the bane of changbin’s existence. luckily, you know just how to fix that. warnings ↠ a lot of swearing. a/n ↠ when will elon musk create a thing that automatically writes my stories when i half-ass a plot

read: MESS | mayhem (part two) | purify (part three)

series masterlist

Changbin is, by all accounts, an absolute dumbass.

He could revise for an exam two hours before it started and ace it; he could bullshit his way through a 5k essay in thirty minutes with enough coffee, he could even rap to three Eminem songs, back-to-back, without breaking a sweat.

But God forbid he pick up his clothes from the floor, or wash a couple of the dishes.

No, Seo Changbin was above cleaning.

But he was an even worse chef, so, after hiding his phone, laptop, playstation controller and even a goddamn ipod, you picked up a plushie that had fallen to the floor - not Gyu, of course, because Changbin would throttle you if you touched his best friend - and whacked him with it until he woke up.

His futile attempts to push you away made you come down on him harder until he gave up, exclaiming, “I’m up, I’m up! What the hell, y/n?”

His eyes were barely open, his hair sticking up this way and that, and drool was drying on his chin - because he was no sleeping beauty. But at least he was sitting up - groaning into his hands, cursing the day you were born and every day since then, but more awake than he was two minutes ago.

“Get up, princess, you’ve got shit to do.”

“It’s too early to be alive right now,” he whined, “five more minutes?”

And, in true desperate-Changbin fashion, he pouted and gave you puppy dog eyes. One look at his face right now could bring the monarchy to their knees, and had you been some amateur you would’ve fallen for his anguish and caved in. Thankfully, you had roomed with him for two years and known him for three more, so you were more than prepared.

As soon as the words left his mouth, you lifted the plush still in your hand; his arms raised in defence, wait wait wait barely leaving his lips before you knocked the pout off his face.

“I hate you,” he grumbled, pulling back one corner of his spaceship duvet - because who the hell does astronomy if they don’t have cool starry shit in their room and they were cheap, “so, so much. I hope you know that.”

“Ditto, but it’s two in the afternoon, so get your fat ass up.” You dropped the plush on his lap before spinning around to leave his room.

He met you in the living room, pyjamas creased from sleeping for over ten hours, but right now that was the least of his concerns. Because you had prepared the cutest outfit for him.

A frilly purple apron hung from your hand and, with one glance at the smirk on your face, Changbin knew who it was for. “You’re gonna look super cute in that, y/n.”

“If only it was for me,” you grinned, tossing the clothing over him.

“Yeah,” he caught it, before throwing it back, “it ain’t for me either.”

“If you want your phone back, you’ve gotta wear it.”

His eyes narrowed at you, trying to call your bluff, but the easy smirk you wore had him groaning exasperatedly, snatching the apron from your outstretched hand.

“Hate you so much,” he muttered again, crossing his arms grumpily.

“C’mon, you look adorable!” He rolled his eyes and looked away from you, acting annoyed, but you took the opportunity to snap a picture of him. As soon as he realised what you had done, he jumped into action, trying to grab your phone but you locked it and slipped it back into your pocket. “If you do everything I say, I won’t send it to the others.”

He grit his teeth, battling between wrestling you for the phone or listening to you.

“I feel the need to remind you I still have your phone.”

He huffed out his anger, giving you the tensest smile ever before acquiescing. “Fine. Let’s do this shit.”

First order of business was clearing out his floor.

You dragged the hamper from the bathroom into his room and watched as he: picked up an article of clothing from the floor, sniffed it, pulled a what-the-hell-died-in-this face, threw it in the hamper, moved half a step forward and repeated the process. Sure, his floor would be clothesless if you helped him - or if he realised that he was disgusting and all of his clothes were dirty - but it was amusing to watch him get increasingly worried as the hamper started overflowing.

“Holy shit,” he sighed, finally done with job number one, “I didn’t even think I owned that many clothes.”

Task two was changing his bed.

You went to find him fresh sheets as he took the hamper back to the bathroom (because you didn’t trust him with running the washing machine unsupervised - he probably didn’t trust himself either).

When you returned, he was lying on his bed, playing on a goddamn Tamagotchi and the shriek you let out had him jumping off his bed.

“Where the fuck do you hide this shit?” You exclaimed, throwing the clean sheets at his face to wrench the device from his hands.

“Leave me alone,” he all but whined, pushing the bedding off his face to glare at you, “I’m tired of cleaning.”

“You’ve done shit all, Bin!”

“I’m baby.”

“Ugly baby,” you grumbled, stepping away from him, “Sheets. Now.”

He groaned, complying with your command, then cursing you further when he saw you playing on the Tamagotchi.

You were pretty startled he even knew how to change his sheets properly. You’d seen him eat an entire carton of ice cream without getting a brain freeze and yet he struggled to change his pillow case? Seo Changbin truly was an enigma.

Once his bed was set, wrinkles smoothed and duvet tucked in, Changbin turned to you with the most pleading look you think he’s ever conjured up. His eyes were practically begging for a break, hands clasped beneath his chin, but he crumbled when you grinned and said, “Vacuum time!”

He could actually see his floor now.

No more dust lingered between strewn textbooks and gone were the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling lights. His room was tidy - cleaner than the day he moved in - and, damn, was he proud of that. He had successfully cleaned his desk, his shelves, even his windowsill, and he left the window open because holy shit was he nose blind. How did you ever let him get to that state?

He was thankful you hauled his lazy ass out of bed so early, but he’d rather clean Jisung and Felix’s shared room - and he’d bet your life (never his own, of course) that their room was a dumpyard compared to his - than ever admit that to you.

You could tell he was grateful when he offered to order in take-away though.

Once dinner was over and done with, you slumped against the sofa, knackered.

“Why the hell are you so tired, huh?” He scoffed, swinging his legs over yours and leaning against the arm rest. “I did all the hard work.”

“You think it’s easy supervising your ass?”

He spluttered, shoving you as best as he could with his legs, “I’m a delight.”

“We’ll see about that tomorrow.” You replied and he raised a brow in question. “Tomorrow you’re cleaning the kitchen.”

“Bullshit,” he groaned, throwing his head back, “Tomorrow, I rest. Feel free to clean that shit up though.”

“Nope! But because you’ve been so good today, I’ll give you back your phone.” You moved his legs off of yours, stretching as you stood before making your way to your room. You tensed when he followed you, making you stop and turn back, “I think I’m capable of getting your phone without supervision, y'know?”

He scoffed, “I wouldn’t trust you with my life, and my phone is much more important.”

“Wow, okay. Just for that, I’m not getting it now.”

You thought that would work and make him argue with you but he simply shrugged, walking on, “I’ll find it myself then.”

“No!” You grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him back, “You can’t go into my room.”

“Why not? You got a shrine of me or something in there?”

“Ew, no. I just have, like, underwear out, y'know? Don’t be a pervert, Bin.”

He teasingly raised his eyebrows as soon as you said that and in the split second it took for you to roll your eyes, he dashed towards your door. Curse Chan for dragging Changbin to the gym because the muscle pig slipped out of your grip like butter.

“Holy. Fucking. Shit.”

You stuttered when you got to the door, trying to pull it closed, but he easily pushed through. “In my defence, I’ve been cramming revision for my exams and I haven’t-”

“I don’t give a damn,” he said, turning to you with a smirk so taunting the devil would quake in fear, “you fuckin’ hypocrite. Give me your phone.”

“I’ll give you your laptop too if you-”

His laugh cut you off and his steps forward forced you to move back. How was this the same man that woke up in robot pj’s with drool on his face?

“You’re waking up at 7am to clean that shithole and I’m gonna supervise your ass so hard you’re gonna-”

“Please, for the sake of all things holy, don’t finish that sentence off.”

“Fine. But get a good night’s sleep, sweetheart,” he grinned, patting your shoulder before taking a step back, “because tomorrow your ass is mine.”

Changbin had never slept more comfortably in his life, and that alone had you tossing and turning until your alarm buzzed at the dreaded time of 7am.

You thought of running to Hyunjin or Seungmin or even Jisung and Felix for safety, but after knowing Changbin for five years, you knew the man to be determined and ruthless when it came to revenge.

Changbin is, by all accounts, an absolute dumbass. But he’s also a man of his word.

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