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oursecretescape · 3 months

Text

Forgotten

words: 7.5k

genre: angst

If my fate is to disappear like this, then this is my last letter - Let go xx TW: Mentions of anxiety, panick attack. Trad: anjinho = little angel. a/n: Hello, my babies. This story is the translation of ''Forgotten'' that I recently posted. I tried to make it as angsty as possible, hope I have achieved my goal. My apologies before hand for any grammar erros. English is not my first language. I suggest you all read it along with the saddest song you like. Well... with all that being said, I wish you a happy reading (or sad? lmao. dunno). Tell me later what y'all thought. ♥

"Hey! We'll be there soon. Sorry for the delay. Today's rehearsal took longer than expected. We're leaving now."

Received at 5 in the afternoon.

I take a quick glance at the clock, and it shows eight in the evening. A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I feel my heart drumming slowly in my chest, each beat amplifying my growing sense of unease.

I get up from the couch and reach for the umbrella swaying gently in the wind coming from the window. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to manage the sudden surge of fear and despair growing in my chest. My heart is racing, and my mind is in overdrive. A sense of mortality and suffocation, all rolled up into a single emotion: anxiety.

I sit down, sliding along the corridor wall. I try to control my breathing while attempting to steady the pounding of my heart. I think that dying in the hallway of a building would be so pointless and dull that it makes me laugh. A laugh, strained and devoid of emotion, but functional.

Heart rate normalizing. Labored, but controlled breathing. Mind stabilized.

I feel my face wet with tears. I wipe them away with trembling hands. When did I start crying? I rise from the floor, swaying a little. I take another deep breath and press the elevator button.

Dad always said that thinking of ridiculous things in difficult moments would help distract me. He was right, as he always was.

The cold, damp breeze of Seoul's streets warmed my soul. Its black skies, like darkness, covered with thick clouds, carried heavy raindrops that, upon impact, met my umbrella, creating beautiful melodies. It was comforting to hear the drops hitting the hard concrete; they reminded me that I wasn't crying alone.

It was thundering when I arrived at the destination. Bright streaks in the sky made the monument even gloomier. I found it ironic how everything matched my feelings. As I entered through the doors, I could already hear muffled cries. Sadness and suffering permeated the air, leaving me melancholic.

After a few more steps, I could see the person I love the most in the world greeting me with a beautiful smile. His eyes were shining like true rays of sunshine. I sit in front of him, sliding my fingers where his name rests. Lee Joon-Ho.

"Dad, I miss you so much," I say aloud, my voice cracking with emotion. "It's been incredibly lonely without you here. You have no idea how much I long for your company," I said, feeling the salty taste of tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring my friends to meet you like I promised. They're all caught up with their own lives, you know how it is. But don't worry, I'll bring them next time when they're less busy," I chuckle, with no emotion.

I hear footsteps behind me. I stand up excitedly, my heart pounding, but this time as a sign of comfort. They didn't forget. I feel my face stretch into a small smile, which is quickly dissolved.

"Hello, young lady. Good evening," the guard gives me a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need to ask you not to linger too long on your visit today. The rain caused some minor leaks, and we'll have to close a little earlier."

"Oh okay, I understand," I responded in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. You have 10 minutes. I'll leave you alone," he said, bowing and leaving promptly.

I turn again, sitting on the floor.

"Dad, today I have to leave a little earlier. But don't worry, I'll be back soon," I feel the tears fall like the drops falling from the sky. "I love you so much," I say between sobs. "I miss you."

I stand up in desperation, running out the door, feeling the drops fall freely on my body, without the protection of the umbrella. It was as if I was washing away all the bad feelings flowing from my being.

Arriving home, I take a hot shower and change into comfortable clothes. The room were in dense darkness. It was just the rain and me. And my cat, who was rubbing against my leg, lay on my lap."

I feel my chest inflate with comfort at the presence of the little being and smile at the gesture.

With the phone in hand, I try to distract my restless mind. I see the Twitter icon and feel my heart pounding as if I shouldn't do this, but I do it anyway. The blue screen shining amidst the darkness of the room soon turns into white, leaving my vision blurred. I switch to dark mode and continue scrolling through my feed.

Within a few seconds, I see something that breaks my heart even more. Among the bursts of excitement from Armys, there are videos of the boys, my boys, having fun in a restaurant with her. They forgot about the visitation day because of her. Again, the reason why I was put aside is her.

Knocks on the door make me forget the feelings of jealousy and anger that burned in my body like fire. I hesitated to remove the furry creature from my lap, as it seemed so comfortable. With a little effort, I get up and walk to the door. Upon opening it, I see Adora's face in a comforting smile. Seeing a friendly face, I feel my tears fall freely on my face once again. She immediately drops the bags she was carrying and envelops me in a loving hug.

I can't say for how long we hugged. What I can say is that it was exactly what I needed at that moment. I feel my chest getting lighter as if all the bad feelings had been carried away by the embrace, and I feel grateful to Adora for that.

Slowly I pull away, and I can see her smile return twice as big.

"Better?" she asks, making me nod.

I step aside, and she enters, placing the food bags on the coffee table. I close the door and follow her.

"What did you bring?" I ask curiously, making her laugh.

"I knew food would cheer you up," she laughs. "I brought a lot of junk food. Sweet and savory cookies, ice cream, sweet and sour pork, hamburgers, and sodas."

"Soda?" I wonder. "Since when do you like fizzy drinks? You always said they gave you gas," I hold back a laugh.

"The soda is for you. For me," she reaches into the bag, pulling out two green bottles of soju. "I brought alcohol," she says sticking her tongue out as she shakes the bottles.

I smile at her little dance, but seeing her gummy smile reminds me of him. I feel the sadness wanting to return when I remember the videos, but I cast aside any bad feelings as I grab the ice cream container.

"I didn't want to bring it up, but I'm really sorry I wasn't there. You know how it is at BigHit. I couldn't leave the production until the work was finished," she explains, and I smile.

"It's okay. I understand," I whisper. "The important thing is that you're here now."

"About the boys..." she starts to say, but I quickly cut her off.

"No, it's fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"But you need to, Cassie. You know that. Keeping it all inside will only make it worse. You know you can trust me. Vent it out. I'm here," she holds my hand.

I close my eyes, nodding. I search within myself for the strength to let out everything I'm feeling. Everything that's hurting me. I bite my lower lip and open my eyes. It's going to be okay.

"It's been some time since my friendship with the boys started cooling off," I begin, feeling her squeeze my hand in comfort. "You know I met Tae before he became famous, and he's the one who introduced me to the rest of the boys. Since then, we've had a very strong friendship. We weren't always together, especially with the tours and my work, but we were close, like a real family. No matter how long we went without seeing each other, nothing changed, until recently," I sigh. "Park Ji-Hye showed up about 2 months ago, a few weeks before my dad passed away. She auditioned for the dancer position and passed the test," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I saw her audition," she says.

"So, since that day, I saw her getting closer and closer to the boys. They were always talking about how cool and funny she is, and, you know, I was happy for them. A new friendship is always good, especially for them, who are famous and always have to be careful with opportunists. But it never crossed my mind that she would take the place I had in their lives," I smile sadly. "They started visiting me much less. Calling me much less. Inviting me to the dorm or out much less. Until the day I literally became nothing to them," I look at Adora, whose face is red with anger.

"These..." I interrupted her.

"You don't want to lose your job, right?" I ask, laughing. "And you can't blame them either. She became their official dancer, which means wherever they go, she's with them," I shrug. "She's with them all the time, and that surely made them closer to her. Even more than me," I feel my eyes welling up. "I don't want to lose them, but I feel like I already did."

"Hey," she shakes me. "Calm down, breathe. I know they messed up. And they messed up badly, but it doesn't mean they've forgotten about you," Adora says, trying to comfort me.

"They forgot me the day my dad died, Adora. I'll never forget that. I feel like on that day, I died twice. I remember calling them in desperation, crying, not knowing what to do, feeling like my world was falling apart," I pause as I feel all the emotions returning. "And they said they were coming, but they never showed up," I continued after a few seconds of silence. "After that, they sent me a message explaining that Park Ji-Hye had gotten hurt dancing and they were with her at the hospital," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I remember. She just fell on her butt, but she made a scene like she broke her back. Everyone was freaking out at the company, even Bang PD. But in the end, it was just drama," she laments.

"After that, they didn't even visit me. Not even once," I laughed with no emotion. "Right after, they forgot my birthday. I understand that I wasn't excited at all because of my dad, but it wouldn't hurt to receive some supportive or congratulatory messages from them. I was so upset that I sent some sad texts. In less than thirty minutes, they were knocking on my door. We cried a lot, but I felt like a part of me had come back to life and that everything was going to be okay," I sarcastically laughed. "I couldn't have been more wrong, could I?" I asked.

"Cassie..."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. After today, I finally understood," I grab a spoon. "They found someone better than me. Someone who can be with them all the time and help them when they need it. I'm just sad that person isn't me. Not anymore," I shove the spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, to prevent the tears stuck in my throat from coming out.

For the rest of the night, Adora didn't bring up the subject again, and I was grateful for that.

A random movie played on TV, but my mind was far away. I looked to the side and saw Adora sleeping with her mouth open. A piece of cookie rested on her cheek while her hand lay above her head. I silently chuckled, covering us and then turning off the TV.

A distant ringing sound caught my attention. I tapped around the couch until I found the phone under the cushion. My eyes automatically closed from the sudden contact with the bright screen, but just as they closed, they widened.

After the first notification, thousands started to show up. My heart throbbed in my chest as my body was flooded with nervousness.

"Min PD: Cassie, please tell me you're there."

"Joonie: Please respond. We're sorry. It wasn't our intention not to show up..." The message appeared cut off because I hadn't unlocked the phone yet.

"Hobierto: Believe us, Cassie. Please, we know you're awake. Answer us."

"Jinnie: Cassandra, we would never do anything to hurt you. Please let us explain."

"Mochi: Answer the phone."

After that message, a group call popped up on the screen. I stared at it, battling the urge to answer. I sighed deeply and threw the phone back onto the couch because no matter how much I wanted to talk to them, I was still hurt. I didn't want to answer and end up fighting. Saying things without thinking and ending up in a worse situation. The best thing to do now was to rest.

I made myself comfortable on the bed we had arranged on the floor, and put the pillow over my head to block out the notifications. When I didn't see any changes, I pressed the power button on my phone and confirmed it right away. I lay back down and took a deep breath. Tomorrow is a new day. Everything will be okay. ——————————————————

It wasn't even dawn when I heard knock after knock. Disoriented, I got up, searching for where the noise was coming from until my feet led me to the front door. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall and got irritated to see it was six past two in the morning.

I swung the door open, ready to argue with whoever had woken me up so early after going to bed so late, but I lost my voice when I saw the seven people I loved most staring at me ty forlornly.

I felt two arms embrace me tightly, followed by two more until I lost count. Desperate whispers for forgiveness echoed in my ear, making me feel loved... until a certain moment. Memories of what had happened the night before made me wake up from the sleep I didn't know I was in. Slowly, I distanced myself from the seven, able to see the tears streaming down some of their faces and sadness emanating from the others.

"Cassie..." Jimin starts. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't our intention to leave you alone in such a difficult time. Please, believe us."

"We didn't come here to lie to you, Cassandra..." Namjoon says. "It really wasn't our intention. I know this is going to sound completely wrong, but we made a promise to Ji-Hye. We promised to take her out to celebrate her birthday since she's far from her family and would probably celebrate alone," I try to hide a grimace.

They couldn't miss her birthday, but could miss mine.

"As soon as we finished eating, we were going to come straight here. And we really were, Cas, really. But the company called saying we had to go there to finalize the last details for the album. It was then that we sent several messages in the group, but you didn't see any."

"That's why we're here," Taehyung says, interrupting Namjoon. "Cassie, listen to me. You're one of the most important people in my life. Sorry if lately my actions haven't shown that, but please, please, Cas, don't be mad at us. I couldn't bear to know that you're upset because of me," he whispers.

"Go to the dorms tonight. Let's talk about this calmly," Hoseok suggests.

I remain silent for a few minutes.

"Come on, please. Hum? Hum?'' Tae shakes my arm. ''You'll go, right? Say yes," he asks.

"Okay," I sigh deeply. "I'll go."

I feel arms wrapping around my body again, and I relax, enjoying the contact. This time, the hug lasted only a few seconds. The boys said goodbye, saying they needed to be at the company in a few hours.

"Tonight at 7. We'll be waiting for you," Yoongi said and then left.

I closed the door, trying to contain my excitement and the obvious smile on my face. As I turned to go back to bed, I was startled to see only Adora's head peeking out from behind the couch. She had a radiant smile on her face as she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up," I say, making her laugh. ——————————————————

I look at the clock on the wall. It's 8:07 in the evening. Damn, I was late. I could already hear Adora's voice slowly emerging in my mind, saying that I should have listened to her and picked out my outfit earlier. Shaking my head, I focus on finishing getting ready. The last thing I needed right now was a lecture from my own mind.

I hear knocks and the doorbell ringing repeatedly.

"Shit," I mutter as I hop over to the door.

I try to put on my sock while walking to the door, but my unfailing plan soon becomes fallible when I trip over my own hand and fall on the floor. The knocks and the doorbell grow louder, and I feel irritation creeping in. "ALRIGHT, I'M COMING," I yell and pick myself up.

I walk back to the door with a pout and my hair completely tousled, covering my face. I take a deep breath, fix my hair, put on a fake smile, and finally open the door. As I see the seven people I love most in the world looking at me with confused faces, I feel my smile turn genuine, and the earlier irritation vanish as if it had never existed.

"Is everything okay? Why didn't you come?" I hear Taehyung ask as he scrutinizes me from head to toe."

"What happened? Something serious?" Seokjin asks, and I shake my head.

"No, guys, sorry. I almost died trying to choose a good outfit to wear and ended up running late, sorry," I explained laughing.

''What do you mean you almost died?" Jungkook asks as I watch their faces turn into a grimace."

"It was nothing, really," I reassure, taking a quick glance at Jungkook, who was holding back his laugh.

He knew it. I am sure he did.

"Are you sure you didn't... you know... fall on your ass?" he smirks. "I'm sure I heard a huge..."''

"Hobi," I said excitedly, "What do you have there?" I pointed to the bags he was carrying while Jungkook laughed.

That little prick.

''Food," he says, shaking the bags. ''We know how much you love eating''.

I chuckle and make way for them to enter. In a few minutes, the food was already on the coffee table, and an improvised bed was set up on the living room floor. I change into more comfortable clothes and join them.

"Look, before we start, we want you to know how sorry we are," Yoongi says.

"Yes... Sorry for not being there on the visitation's day," Jimin adds. "If there's anything you want to say, anything that's bothering you, please let us know. We'll fix it all, Cassie. ''he holds my hand.'' We want things to go back to how they used to be."

"We're here for you, Cas," Jin finishes, and I smile weakly.

I pause for a moment, feeling that it still wasn't the right time. So, I just sigh and shake my head.

"It's okay, guys. Really," I open with a smile. "Let's just watch this movie already. I'm dying to see who'll be the first one to cry and shake in fear like a little kitten." I say, trying to change the subject, and smirk when I realize it worked.

"I am sure it won't be me," Hoseok says with confidence. "Cause you know..." he shows off his muscles. "I'm a man," he pauses for a minute.

It doesn't take long until Hoseok's laughter fills the room, making everyone laugh.

"Who listens to him talking like this, doesn't even think the Gladiator sandal outside belongs to him," Jungkook says, making Hoseok look at him flabbergasted.

''Hey, what do you mean by that?'' he asks shookedt. ''It's fashionable''

"Yeah, Hobi. Sure is," Yoongi says, patting his shoulder.

''Why I don't believe you are being honest?'' Hoseok asks putting his finger under his chain. ''I'm going to expose you on Twitter. Or should I say X?''

''What? Are you into Xvideos?'' Namjoon asks as he returns.

Everybody stops and looks at him. When did he even leave to begin with?

"What were you doing, Joonie?" I ask, smirking at him. "Were you in the bathroom?" he nods as the rest of the boys laugh.

''Now we know why you are thinking naughtiness'' Jimin says.

Namjoon's face turns red as he shakes his hands nervously. He tries to sit down on the couch but somehow ends up falling on the ground. We can see his cellphone flying around the living room as he throws his arms in the air in an attempt to regain his balance, but it doesn't work, as expected.

''No need to be nervous, Joonie'' I say. ''Everybody masturbates once in a while.''

''Do we?'' Yoongi looks at me suspiciously.

"I mean," I chuckle nervously. "How did we even get to this conversation? Let's just watch the movie for God's sake."

"Nah, nah. Don't you try coming up with excuses," Tae says abruptly. "What do you mean by that? Are you dating someone?" Jungkook seems to be having fun as he opens a beer can.

''What? Me? Dating?'' I laugh. ''Not even close. But I can't say the same about Jungkook, can I?'' he chokes.

''Uh? What you on about?'' he asks as he cleans his mouth. ‘’Seven days a week, huh?’’ he burst into laughter. He pauses for a minute before smirking. "Hm, why's that, baby girl?" he says, leaning in my direction. "Are you jealous?" he asks, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Do you want me to…" he bites his lower lip. "You know," he says putting his finger on my lips. I can already feel the cringeness and second-hand embarrassment traveling throughout my body as the rest of the boys laugh. This prick. ‘’You really need to get out from twitter,’’ I say, shoving him away. ‘’The next step is to put up a black and white profile picture and call yourself a webdom’’ He raises both of his middle fingers in my direction before turning his attention back to the beer can. ‘’Are you guys done? Can I finally play this damn movie?’’ Yoongi asks, making everybody nod.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for them to leave. Unfortunately, they couldn't stay overnight. They had to leave very early the next day due to their schedule.

I hesitated to get up; I didn't want to accompany them to the door out of sheer laziness, and feeling Taehyung shaking me with his foot made me even more sluggish.

"If you keep doing that, I swear I'll fall asleep," I say, making him huff.

"Come on, sloth imitation. Take us to the door," Jimin says, but gives up when he sees Jungkook lying next to me.

"Jungkook, I'm sure you really like your video game, right?" Seokjin asks, and in a jump, Jungkook gets up.

"Are you really not taking us to the door?" Yoongi asks, and I remain silent. "Okay then."

When I open my eyes to see what he was going to do, I feel an arm gather and squeeze my legs while a hand starts tickling my feet furiously.

"JESUS!" I scream in surprise.

I heard laughter as I fought for my life. The strange feeling that tickling brought made me confused if I was laughing because I found it funny or if it was fear messing up my nervous system. The laughter increased as I writhed and screamed for help.

"YOONGI, YOU JERK!" I said without realizing that I was actually yelling.

"Weren't you sleepy?" Yoongi asks. "So, I'm trying to help you."

"WAIT UNTIL I GET UP, YOU PIECE OF BROWN SUGAR, I'M GOING TO END YOU."

"Are you going to take us to the door?" he asks.

"OKAY, OKAY, I'LL TAKE YOU, JUST STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD," I yell.

I feel my body calm down and my brain start functioning again as the tickling ceases. I looked at Yoongi who was laughing while sniffing his hand.

"Ew, you have smelly feet," he says, and I get up.

"Come here, you little jerk," I chase after him as he runs away mocking me.

After a few seconds, I could already feel that the 70% of water in my body had evaporated and the air in my lungs was scarce. When did my body become so sedentary?

"Idiot," I curse Yoongi who laughs. "I hate you."

"I love you too, beautiful thing," I hear him say.

Finally, I accompany them to the door. After a lazy farewell, I see them about to leave, but a click in my mind makes me stop them.

"As you know, I graduated from college, but since it was at the time when my father died, I didn't have any enthusiasm to celebrate. Adora recommended that I have a celebration the day after tomorrow night, since it's the weekend. Just to not let it go unnoticed. So... you guys are invited."

"We'll be here, don't worry," Namjoon says, and I smile nodding.

We say goodbye again, and this time, I see them leave. Seeing the elevator door close, I go back inside the house. The smile on my face never leaves me for a second, and finally, after so long, I could feel that things would really be okay.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Thanks to Adora, everything was organized on time. The food was ordered since neither she nor I wanted anyone to die from food poisoning. The time we ended up in the hospital the day we cooked for each other was enough. No need to repeat the dose.

I check the time on my phone and see it's 8pm. They would arrive at any moment, so I sit next to Adora on the couch to chat until then.

☂ ☂

Some time passed, and the boys still hadn't arrived. I look at the time again and see that it's 9:46. I try not to think the worst and choose to believe they would be here soon.

☂ ☂

I sigh deeply at seeing what time it is: 11:14. I try to ignore Adora's pitying look and get up from the couch. I suppress the tears once again. I am tired of crying. And more than ever, I realize that they don't deserve my tears.

"Cassandra..." Adora calls me, and I look at her. "I'm sure there's an explanation for this. Something must have happened at the company, and they couldn't let us know." I shake my head.

Something inside me told me that wasn't it, and I decided to trust my intuition.

"Adora, can you take me to the dorm?," I ask softly. "I don't think I'll have the courage to go alone," I weakly smile, and she nods.

"Of course, my love. Of course..." ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The car journey lasted less than I wished. My mind was constantly clouded by memories, anxiety making the painful memories hurt twice as much. I laughed in disbelief. I wondered what I had done wrong to deserve this.

"Thank you for bringing me," I look at Adora. "And thank you for always being by my side in difficult times. If I felt supported and loved, be sure that it's all because of you. You're an amazing person, Adora, and I hope you know that." she smiles.

"Regardless of what happens there, remember that you are enough. Not for them, but for yourself. Don't belittle yourself for them, Cassie, and don't let the love you feel for them speak louder than your self-love. If you survived two hellish months without their presence, be sure that you can live your life and be immensely happy in the future without them. I guarantee you that," I feel her hand squeezing mine for comfort, and I smile. "I'll be waiting for you here," I nod.

I get out of the car, feeling Adora's words take effect. I walk bravely towards the towering building, ignoring every feeling of nostalgia trying to invade me. I couldn't lose focus now.

Arriving on their dorm's floor, I feel my heart skip a beat. I pause for a moment and try to put my thoughts and feelings in order. Seeing no result, I lean against the wall and try in every way to avoid a panic attack that was about to come. As if it were a heavenly help, I feel my phone vibrate. With trembling hands, I pick it up and see a message from Adora.

"Don't forget, you are strong and capable. And never for a moment think you are alone, because I'm here for you."

I clutch my phone tightly. Adora is right. I am strong and I am capable. I can do this because regardless of what happens, I will be okay.

I take a deep breath, gathering all the strength and courage from my being, and knock on the door. I freeze when I realize what I've done, but I quickly compose myself. I will be okay.

A few seconds passed and no one answered, so I knocked again. But just like the first time, there was no response. After the third attempt, I decide to enter. Typing the password on the door, I entered the dormitory.

Upon realizing that there was no one in the main hall, the pounding of my heart calmed down. I begin to walk through the dormitory, recalling every good moment I had with my boys. I feel the sadness emanating in my chest once again.

I really didn't want to lose them.

As I walked down the corridor, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I started walking with firm steps, but I felt my legs waver when I heard a female voice among their voices. It was her.

"Jungkook-oppa, you're so silly," I hear her delicate laughter, feeling jealousy burning in my chest.

It should be me there.

"The silly you love," I hear Jungkook reply.

I could hear the happiness in his voice. It was as if they didn't need anyone else at the moment but her. And that made me hate her, but my own mind scolded me. She is not worthy of my hatred. She is as innocent as I am in this story. She did nothing to hurt me, so why would I hate her?

"Hinnie," I hear Hoseok's voice.

Hinnie...

"Try it and tell me what you think."

There was a moment of pause until applause and sounds of appreciation were made.

"It's amazing, oppa," she says. "You really keep improving in the kitchen every day."

Unable to bear it anymore, I think of simply turning around and leaving, but something catches my attention. And it was precisely there, in that moment, that I regretted staying.

"Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?" I hear Taehyung say, and I feel my body tremble.

Once again, there was a pause until someone shouted.

"Shit, really," Jimin said. "We forgot to take the drinks out of the freezer."

I feel my heart break, as if that were possible. I let out a disbelieving laugh and finally come out from where I was hiding.

"And try more of this," Hoseok suddenly stops. "Cassie..."

I hear the sound of something falling to the ground. Soon, everyone was staring at me wide-eyed. I repress the urge to laugh. I realize how messy my whole body was the moment I wanted to laugh and not cry.

"Oh no," Jimin says, as if remembering something. "The party."

With that said, everyone becomes even more desperate. Seeing them approaching, I panic.

"Don't come near,"

They quickly stop. I see them not knowing what to do. And it wasn't just them. I end up getting disoriented with so much pressure. Where did my courage go when I needed it most?

"Um... what's going on?" she asks, and I close my eyes.

It's not her fault. It's not her fault...

"Ji-Hye, could you leave us alone for a moment?" Namjoon asks.

"Yes, of course. It's time for me to leave anyway," she gets up. "I'll see you later," she says bowing both to them and to me.

After she left, silence hung in the air. I tried to hold back my laughter, but when I saw everyone's confused faces, I knew I had failed. When I noticed that no one was going to say anything, I took the initiative.

"Do you know what's more disappointing? It's that I really thought this time would be different," I shrug. "I guess I was wrong, wasn't I?"

"Cas..."

"Do you remember when you asked me if I had something to say, Jinnie? If something was hurting me? Well, I do, and I hope I won't be interrupted."

With no response, I continue.

"I feel like I died. It's been a while since I am just surviving," I start. "The fact that you didn't come to the visitation isn't the part that hurts the most, it's that you weren't there when my father passed away. I remember how desperate I was, and the only people I could think of were you. But you weren't there. Damn, you didn't even call." I whisper as tears fall freely down my face. "When I found myself alone in the hospital, realizing that the person who adopted me and chose me to love had died, that was my first death. The person who loved me, who looked beyond language or race barriers, and who taught me everything I know had suddenly left, without even giving me a chance to say goodbye. Do you know how I felt? Devastated."

I pause for a moment. Melancholy takes over my body as I recall all the feelings I felt that day, and for a moment, I allow myself to cry all I needed. I sob so much that I thought I might choke. Without caring about looks or pity, I just allowed myself, knowing that everything would be okay.

"When I called the only people I thought I could count on, and they told me they were coming, I didn't feel so alone," I let out a humorless laugh. "Until I realized that those people never arrived. The people who always said they would be there for me weren't there when I needed them the most. That was my second death," I look at Jin. "Don't say these things to anybody if they are not coming from your heart. Don't hurt anyone else by saying you have their backs or that you will always be there for them when in reality it's not the truth."

I look at each one. Their gazes were distant, as if they were reliving every moment.

"You know, I don't want you to think I'm mad at Park Ji-Hye. Actually, quite the opposite. I was really happy when you said you met someone nice. Someone who really cared about you and genuinely wanted your friendships. I know how tough it is for you to find real friendships with all the fame, so I felt fulfilled too. I remember telling daddy excitedly, and he laughed at my excitement, happy for you and for me. Right after that, I lost him, and little by little, I lost you too, like I was meant to be alone," I smile weakly. "I am sorry if I'm being selfish, but that's how I feel. You guys forgot my birthday. Forgot the visitation days, and to top it off, you forgot my graduation party. It's like you replaced me as if I never even existed in your lives, and that really hurts. Really.''

I finish, and only then I realize they were crying with me. Some didn't have the courage to meet my gaze. We spent a few minutes without anyone saying anything. The only thing filling the air was the sound of our sniffles and sobs.

"On the day your father died," Namjoon begins. "We felt like we had lost a family member because he was, in fact, one. I am truly sorry, Cas, but for me, Park Ji-Hye's fall was an escape. I didn't want to face reality. I wouldn't know how to react to the loss of someone so special, and I also wouldn't know how to act with you," he looks at me.

"On your birthday, we thought you would like to be alone. It would be the first without your father, so we didn't know what to do, Cassie. We panicked," Jimin sighs. "But now I realize how you felt," he laughs humorlessly. "My God, I never thought I'd be such a horrible friend. What a disappointment," he whispers, covering his face with his hand.

"On visitation days," I look at Hoseok. "I confess that I clung to any opportunity not to go, Cas," he cries. "Not because I didn't love you. I love you, and I love you very much, but I never knew how to react to death. The only two times I entered a cemetery, I spent the rest of the week feeling bad, with depressive thoughts. I also couldn't let Armys worry. I didn't want their 'Sun' to lose its brightness. I am so sorry for not being able to tell you this before. I didn't want to seem selfish."

I suppress a disbelieving laugh.

"Hearing all this, I realize how futile our apologies seem," Yoongi laughs weakly. "But they are true, Cassie... I understand what Hoseok says. You know about my history with depression, don't you?" he asks, and I nod. "It's the same thing for me. If I enter a cemetery, my thoughts don't stop. Some come in a worse form, and I feel like I'm going crazy."

"We were selfish, Cas," Seokjin says. "I was. I didn't want Armys to see us sad because I knew the chaos it would be. I have no words to express how special you are to me," he pauses. "Cassie, you are my sister, my family. You weren't crying alone; I cried with you. I just couldn't show it. I knew it would be worse if I saw you cry, just like I am seeing now."

There was a moment of silence. Until his voice broke.

"I am sorry," Taehyung says. "Damn, I don't even know what to say, Cassie. You are one of the most precious people I have ever met. I remember how you stayed with us through thick and thin. I also remember how happy you were for us at the beginning, and I know the genuine happiness you felt when we received our first award. You stood by my side when my grandma passed away. How could I not be by your side too? My God," he puts his hand on his head in an act of despair. "You stayed by our side when we thought about disbanding. It was you who helped us see why we are here, who helped us find reasons to stay," he looks at me anxiously. "How could I be so selfish?"

"We thought that regardless of anything, you would always be by our side. That you would understand us, even with our deplorable attitudes. We always thought we would have you next to us, so we neglected you," Yoongi shakes his head. I feel like he answered more to Taehyung than to me. "Damn, anjinho, I'm sorry," I lower my head as I hear him call me by the nickname I loved so much.

"The fact that we started a new friendship also influenced us," Jungkook says. "We were so excited that someone, besides you, wanted a friendship without interest that without realizing it, we put aside the one that had been with us from the beginning," I hear Jungkook say muffled, as his two hands covered his face.

"We don't deserve you, Cassandra. We left you at the most difficult moment of your life, and yet you never stopped loving us," Yoongi pulls his own hair, a habit he always did when he was nervous. "We can't let you leave thinking that we don't care about you because, Cassie, that would be a complete lie. With the stress of the comeback, things only got worse. It was rehearsal, recording, agendas to fulfill, productions, trips, tours. Our minds were a mess, and Park Ji-Hye tried to help us from there. We know she's not the one to blame, and it's not your fault either. It's ours and only ours. I know this will seem like a lame excuse, but I didn't want to let you go thinking that you aren't precious to us. You are Cas. And you always will be."

I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. If before I felt bad, now I feel ten times worse. It seemed like I didn't even know them anymore. The feeling of comfort they made me feel was replaced by anguish. By sadness.

I open my eyes, and for the last time, I look at my boys. I realize that Taehyung understood my gaze.

"Cassie, please... Please don't..." Taehyung starts, but is interrupted by Seokjin.

"Don't you dare say what I think you're going to say."

"But I can't lose her, Hyung. I can't lose her," Taehyung says, crouching down.

I think about going to him, but then I retreat my body. If I do that, I know my heart will weaken, and at the moment, the only person I need to think about is myself.

"I'm sorry, hyung, but I'll be selfish," Namjoon says to Seokjin, and I look at him confused. "I don't know what your decision will be, Cassie. I'll support you, even if you choose to leave without our friendship. But I beg you... Cassandra, I implore you, try to find in yourself a little piece that doesn't want to give up on us. It doesn't have to be now. I want you to heal, and I don't care how long it takes. The only thing I ask is that you don't forget us and don't give up on us. Come back to us when you feel ready. I don't want to lose you, Cas. I..."

"I really hope you find a way to forgive us, Cassie. But understand that if you don't, we'll understand. You, more than anyone else, have every right to hate us," Yoongi says, interrupting Namjoon. "I hope you don't forget about us because, with all my heart, we won't forget about you."

I feel my heart shattering with every tear that falls on their faces. I smile weakly. I will really miss them.

I bow in a sign of respect, and as I return to my normal position, I raise my hand to my heart.

"Thank you, my boys. For all the good moments. You were a very important part of my life, which I will carry forever. I will never forget about all of you," I smile faintly. "How could I forget my first true friendships? My first loves?" I whisper.

I take a breath and smile. A true smile. A smile of gratitude.

"Regardless of what happened, you guys deserve nothing but love and happiness. Don't let anyone say otherwise. Even far away, please remember I will always be cheering for your success. And whenever you feel unloved, remember I love you. Very, very much.'' I can hear their sobs getting stronger. ''Don't think I blame you for what happened; I think I finally understand that life has its ups and downs. People come and unfortunately go," I see Taehyung desperate, trying to find something to say. I look away. I need to be strong. "I hope that every day your friendship with Park Ji-Hye grows, and that you take from all of this a lesson.''

I take a deep breath, looking at them for the last time.

''From the bottom of my heart... I wish you to be immensely happy."

In a gesture, I send thousands of kisses. I see Tae wanting to approach, so I turn around and start walking towards the exit, and this time, I don't cry. I feel the weight of sadness in my chest, but the weight of peace for having put everything I felt out was greater. And for the first time in two months, I believe it when I say that everything will be okay.

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kimnjss · 2 years

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candy girl | jhs sm au

banner by: @dee-ehn

🖇 synopsis:

— you met online with him requesting to fund your lifestyle. no idea who he is or what he looks like, but his offer is too appealing to deny. so you agree, sure you’ll never meet this man in person. but what happens when a regular at your club seems to feel a bit too familiar...

pairing: rapper!hoseok x stripper!reader

fic type: social media au

side ships: poly vmingi. jungkook x oc. namjoon x oc. yoongi x oc.

genre: smut!! idol au, sugar daddy au, sex worker au, hidden identity, some angst...

status: ongoing!!

updates: based on comments nd reblogs.

**NOTE. BC THIS AU IS BASED ON COMMENTS AND REBLOGS, UPDATES WILL ONLY COME WHEN THOSE ARE MET. IF YOU’D LIKE TIMELY UPDATES PLS DO YOUR PART ‼️

A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!

parts:

prologue: stand up

character profiles: hoseok and more

character profiles: yn and sweets

part one: losing interest

part two: sloppy entertainment

part three: no touching

part four: requesting nudes

part five: pretty dancer

part six: important questions

part seven: scrawny ass

part eight: not fucking

part nine: dangerous territory

part ten: little tingle

part eleven: morning wood

part twelve: what boyfriend

part thirteen: parallel universe

part fourteen: very weird

part fifteen: trouble in paradise

part sixteen: very appreciative

part seventeen: beach night

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katnisspeetaprim · 1 year

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Suchwita couple, 2.5 the boys reaction. (Fake text)

My first fake text lol.

#bts #imagine #one shot #fluff #scenario #smut #angst #drabble #reaction #fake text #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

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vminity21 · 1 year

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Romance and a Rendezvous | pjm, jjk

Pairing: veterinarian!jimin x veterinarynurse!reader, bestfriend!jeongguk x female!reader, chapter fourteen of Tails of Love {written}

Genre: angst, smut oops, fluff, socialmedia!au, f2l!au

Word Count: 5,271

Warning(s): profanity, angst, smut, dirty talk, mention of alcohol consumption, rough sex, m!dom, protection/mention of a condom, hair grabbing/pulling, secrecy, different positions, smutty kissing; Rated: 18+

Tag List: @ficlibrarie , @gukniverse , @emwy11 , @theceraunophilegirl , @yoonoclock @xxxanimangxxx @juju-227592

The sheet vinyl floor gleams beneath the light of the bathroom; your heart drums against your ribcage as you stare at your phone screen. You swallow the lump persistently remaining along with the nerves shooting through your shaky fingertips. Your ex-boyfriend, who is now a veterinarian, is about to walk through the front doors of Bangtan Veterinary Hospital, where in the past year you have gained some of the best friends you could have ever asked for. Despite what one would assume, there is an underlying reason why you left the original veterinary hospital that you had shadowed at during college, and it is not specifically due to the breakup with Jimin, although losing Jimin was part of why your heart was so shattered. Slipping your phone into your scrub pocket, you squeeze your eyes shut as you hug yourself tight, breathing in and out slowly for some form of comfort.

You moved out almost a month into starting your job here at Bangtan once your finances were enough to pay for bills, and Monnie happened to become your roommate, who also became the sister you never had. Being in tech school, it was hard to work a job and balance homework at the same time, hence why you lived with your parents until graduation- your dad, Dr. Yang, one of the top veterinarians in your country, you were inspired to be a part of the field because saving animals’ lives was something you strived to do. Plus, your father was your best friend, and you wanted to follow in his footsteps despite his eager tendency to convince you to go full on and just become a veterinarian versus a veterinary nurse.

However, the relationship is strained because of what happened, and when your nose burns from the tears welling in your eyes, you hate admitting that you miss your parents. Especially their guidance.

But, there is someone you also have missed more than anything in this world, someone who made your heart melt- someone who shared similar passions, and would risk sneaking secret kisses behind any door until your lips were bruised; someone who gave you the adventure highs of a lifetime finding new places to explore, new foods to try, new scenes to visualize, or simply laying a blanket out under the stars and talk about the dreams you both hoped to reach. Together.

You can’t face him, or so you think, and he is still unaware of why you left him to protect him, and the shame of the breakup is enough to make you want to run and hide anywhere that is not in this restroom. The fear of Jimin not understanding your side is still planted within your mind- a seed that never stunted in its growth, and you thought for the past year or so you were safe from ever having to reveal it. And maybe you still will not have to.

‘You know I don’t care if our friends know right? I think you were more concerned than I was. I don’t regret any of it. I mean that.’

Wincing, that is yet another thing you will never know how to keep secret from Jimin. Jeongguk’s text was in the early hours of this very morning when you confessed that you told Namjoon over the tipsy filled weekend. Of course, what happened between you and Jeongguk was months after you left Jimin, but Jimin was your first everything. Jeongguk and you had become very close, and one night after much alcohol consumption, but not enough to take away the memory of it all, you leaned over and kissed him. There was a pause of prolonged silence and his widened, doe eyes stared back at you in complete surprise.

Humiliation dawned over your face from the realization of what you had done, and it dripped down your chest in thick trails while you jumped from the couch and turned into the kitchen. Your head was hazy from the drinking, but you were well aware of what just happened. And he wasn’t Jimin. He wasn’t the man you were still holding onto. Something about the way Jeongguk’s hair fell into his face, and the way his tattoos peeked from his long sleeve, the way he constantly made you laugh, you felt the hint of lust. You felt the attraction deeper than you wanted to admit, but you were also filled with emotions you had never let out. All of it was dangerously tempting and you could punch yourself for giving into it all. And you were thankful Monnie had been out with friends at that time.

You were standing in front of the oven when your ears tuned into the creaking floor alluding to Jeongguk’s soft footsteps. Your arms were crossed, and you hadn’t noticed that you had been crying. Hardly lifting your eyes to him, his countenance was shy, but you slowly turned to fully face him, stammering for words. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. Thoughts of Jimin spiraled to infinity in your mind even more than before.

Jeongguk nodded, swallowing softly. He proceeded to take the short trail to stand in front of you, and you could feel your heart pounding through your temples because as much as you wanted to avoid what just happened, part of you just didn’t want to care anymore. Your heart had been through enough. What could this one night with this wonderful human being really cause? Nothing. You convinced yourself. Nothing. Jimin was gone. Jimin wasn’t coming back. Or so you thought at the time.

Your eyes flitted to stare into the innocence of Jeongguk’s gaze while he tried to read what you were thinking. Your arms uncrossed in preparation to reach for him because right now your lips were tingling for his amidst the doubt of your sorrows. It was then Jeongguk’s arm wrapped around you while his other palm touched the back of your head when his lips crashed to yours. Your body responded immediately while you hummed pleasurably against his lips; your back pressed against the oven while the tip of his tongue met yours briefly. Instinctively, your hand clutched the strands at the back of his neck letting his kiss take you away. Letting him be the escape you have needed. Begged for.

“You’re so hot,” you whispered against his mouth while you fumbled to find his belt.

“I try,” he murmured. You immediately unbuckled his belt then, looking down momentarily to unbutton his pants before you dropped them to his ankles. The couch was not far from the kitchen, and at this point, you were ready to get the motion of the ocean going. This dazed escape was going to be everything you could have asked for despite the endless picture of Jimin’s face haunting your brain. Jeongguk suddenly paused, leaning back as if to stretch.

“Are you okay?” You asked, arching an eyebrow. Jeongguk exhaled as if to whistle.

“I’m very grabby with the face and neck,” he admitted, squeezing his eyes shut as if chagrined.

“I mean…” You contemplated. “You can pull my hair?”

Jeongguk didn’t get a chance to reply or think about your words because your fingers were now bundled into his shirt while you dragged him toward the couch. “Wait, hold on, hold on-” He panicked, trying not to trip. “My pants!” You stifled a giggle when you realized he hadn’t kicked his pants off from his ankles and almost face planted onto the floor.

“Oops!” You smiled, but he caught up with you just fine, and he lifted your sweatshirt from your frame while kisses were shared in between. At this point in time, his pants and underwear were completely off while your bra and sweatshirt were tossed somewhere in the living room, yet your shorts were still clung to your body while his shirt remained untouched.

You weren’t sure how you got there, but you were led to another part of the sectional where your back was pinned against the cushions and Jeongguk slid your shorts and thong down your legs. He then reached to take off his button-up where your eyes got to visualize the entirety of his tattoos decorating him beautifully while your mouth guiltily watered. “Holy shit, your tattoos,” you breathed, fingers outlining them.

“Yeah, I got a few,” he teased knowing it was much more than a mere few. His large hands grabbed your legs and placed them on either shoulder as he struggled to unwrap a condom before sliding it on. You could feel how aroused you were and you forced yourself to feel as though you were ready. When he entered you, you gasped, especially when his strong hand first gripped the strands of your hair tautly causing you to cry out erotically. The feel of him was more than you anticipated, and you could feel the gush in your heat as he thrusted, especially when one of his hands slapped the top of the couch to squeeze it while he moved within you. Your moans were fueling him. It all was happening so fast, and you reached to grasp his hand, then his bicep, and you couldn’t stop yourself. You didn’t want to.

“Turn that ass around,” he demanded which turned you on even more. You loved the dominance. You loved that he took control of this intimacy, so you didn’t have to. Because now you don’t want to stop. You were obedient and positioned yourself. Once his length pushed into you, your teeth sunk into a pillow to mute your pleasurable whimpers while he thrusted. You forgot how much you liked it rough. You forgot how much you enjoyed sex despite your misery. But this wasn’t Jimin. This wasn’t the man you were still in love with.

Before you could let the emotions and guilt spring to your eyes, Jeongguk’s hand tangled into your hair and yanked back all while pounding into you while you moaned. You couldn’t say Jeongguk’s name. You couldn’t. In all honesty, you almost screamed Jimin’s name from how much you couldn’t stop thinking about him and what you had just done. But this was all so fucking hot.

When climaxes were reached, you cuddled into Jeongguk while his hand traced upon your bare back. You tried not to cry because now the guilt consumed you in all its entirety. “Whatever you do,” you had whispered. “You cannot tell a soul about this. Please.”

Jeongguk kissed your forehead tenderly suppressing the wonder of why you asked this, but he understood. He figured you didn’t want your friends to freak out. “I promise.” He swore. No matter what, he was going to be your friend, and he knew in his heart you would be his friend in return regardless.

“I promise, too.” Your voice broke.

A small knock on the door makes you jump and every thought you were reminiscing vanishes instantly. Your eyes enlarge as your arms unfold to lay next to your sides. “I- um, uh just a minute!” You call, your temples pounding as you shuffle to find some excuse as to why you have been in the bathroom for God knows how long pondering your past.

“y/n?” the gentle voice beyond the door nicks your heart, you grit your teeth whilst you shudder in reaction, because that voice is one you have yearned to hear, but never worked up the courage to call. “y/n…. it’s me,”

Fuck. You know that he knows that you are hiding from him, and you wonder if Monnie may have told him where you are considering you and her are some of the only technicians who work in the canine and feline department. Taking a quick look at your Apple watch, 8:55 am shines back at you in a reminder that the first appointment will be checking in soon, and from the vacancy of the red dot that signifies notifications, you assume that Monnie nor has anyone in the group chat been able to message due to the busyness of the morning chores.

With a quivering, cold hand, you will yourself to remain calm, turning the knob slowly, inching the door open to see coffee brown irises staring back at you in evident concern mingled with the same nervous tension you hold. His full lips are slightly parted as if he wants to speak, but neither of you can find words. Slim fit in some khaki pants and a nice dress shirt tucked in- a white doctor’s coat hovers around his frame, making him look as official as his license prompting your heart to feel a wave of pride for how hard he has worked. Park Jimin has returned to your life in the most unexpected way, and you don’t even know if you want to run or pull him into the longest hug you have wished for on countless nights when his face would haunt your dreams.

“Hi,” you manage to muster, almost inaudibly, closing the door behind you after flicking off the light.

“Hey,” he replies, lips pressing together, the silence that follows afterward bringing the most awkward feeling, yet you try to avert your gaze enough to not relish in how heavenly he is. If the clients are already head over heels for Jeongguk, you cannot even imagine how they will be when they see the new veterinarian that has been hired. Honestly, Dr. Seokjin gets quite a lot of compliments from the women who fan their hand in front of their face after he leaves the room- which yes, you undeniably work with some very handsome men, but with the talk of a new employee, people are going to want to witness it.

“Uh, Dr. Park?” The pair of you, in pure surprise, whirl your heads around to see a vividly uncomfortable Monnie, whose index finger is held in the air. “Sorry to interrupt, but Taehyung just checked in the first appointment.”

“Oh, yes,” clearing his throat, Jimin shares a quick nod with you before stepping in the direction of the treatment area, Monnie holding your eyes knowingly before filing behind him. “Oh, and Dr. Park, I meant to ask you this earlier, but do you happen to specialize in anything?”

Acupuncture and orthopedics, you answer Monnie’s question inwardly, because Jimin always spoke about his fascination with acupuncture and orthopedic surgeries, and what do you know he answers her question with what you essentially assumed. You are uncertain of what or why, but something stems- you jogging to enter where the exam rooms await. Brushing past Monnie, you grab the folder, taking a look at the name of the patient which happens to be a French Bulldog, Crowley, you helped the owner name when she brought him in as a puppy. Four years ago. At the previous clinic where you were with Jimin.

You always wanted a brachycephalic breed, with that name, but instead, you lived vicariously through the pet parent, LenLen Lee. Of course, when LenLen had heard you moved clinics a year ago, she proclaims how much Crowley loves you, she had to switch clinics and brought his records over to Bangtan Vet and has brought him here ever since. But, you also are aware of the way, her and Taehyung’s eyes flit away from each other when they catch each other lowkey staring.

“I’ll load the room,” you volunteer, avoiding eye contact to then reaching the lobby to see Crowley nestled in front of LenLen’s legs while he pants anxiously amongst his snorts. Taehyung is quietly talking into the phone of whoever called at the front desk, staring at the computer screen that holds the schedule for today, though his gaze flickers frequently toward LenLen. “Crowley!” You coo, LenLen smiling widely as she ushers her dog to be seated within the exam room. Crowley pelts his front paws at you in excitement at your presence as his nubby tail wags.

You immediately ask how LenLen’s day has been before covering what Crowley is due for wellness wise, discussing whatever concerns she may have for her pet. It totals up to about seven minutes, and she gives permission for Dr. Park to examine Crowley in the treatment area admitting to having an important phone call she hasn’t been able to make yet.

It doesn’t take long for you to weigh the dog, jotting down the number the scale reads. Searching the counter, you reach for the ear thermometer, Crowley shaking his head in response and you are happy to see his temperature is running within the normal limits. To finish out his vitals, you place your fingers on his femoral pulse, located on the medial side of his back leg, counting each beat in fifteen seconds, multiplying by four to receive the answer of his heartbeat per minute. Due to his panting, you are unable to gather an accurate respiratory rate, so when you carefully lift him to place upon the treatment table, Jimin reaches to pat Crowley’s wrinkly head, sliding the folder with the dog’s information to his view.

You keep your gaze downward, paying as much attention to Crowley as you can to keep from blushing at the man standing before you. Monnie steps over just to peek at what vaccines are needed, turning to draw them up for you while Jimin reaches for the stethoscope hanging in plain sight on a hook nailed into the wall.

“Any concerns?” He asks, trying to be as professional as possible though his heart is aching just as much as yours is.

“No concerns really other than his seasonal allergies, but she’s fine with continuing his allergy shot, she said he started itching again about a week ago.”

“Okay good.” Jimin looks around the table helplessly, drawers are beneath him, and you realize he may be looking for something specific. “Erm, where do you keep your ophthalmoscopes?”

“Oh!” You want to smack yourself from how jittery you are being, but you can’t help it. Jimin is here right in front of you. “Second drawer,” you point toward it, him sliding it open, retrieving the scope, screwing on the head piece before shining the light in Crowley’s eyes to check for any abnormalities. He continues the exam, palpating the abdomen, looking into the ears, checking lymph nodes, as well as maneuvering Crowley’s limbs to make sure he doesn’t admit any pain response. Though you keep a guard up, you hold your hands lightly around Crowley’s head, Jimin’s fingers only brush yours a few times, your heart leaping annoyingly that you wish you could disappear.

When returning Crowley to the exam room, you realize LenLen isn’t there. Instead, you discover a flirty Taehyung as he giggles along with LenLen, and your eyebrows raise in amusement. You have always known Tae may have had a little crush on the woman who excitingly greets her dog while it paws at her knees. Taehyung briefly shares a widened look with you as if he has been caught red handed, but you can’t help but respond with a knowing wink before wishing LenLen a good day and she gives you a swift hug. Quickly ducking into the exam room, you shoot a text toward Taheyung asking when he is going to ask LenLen out already.

“Hey,”

“Oh!” You gasp, immediately looking up to see a smirking Monnie although her eyes cloud with concern. “You scared me!”

“As I should, it’s part of my job.”

“I will get you back-” You try to breathe, bringing a hand to your chest.

“No, you won’t.” She teases before a seriousness falls into her smile. “How are you holding up? Aside from almost urinating yourself.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Very. You know you can’t keep hiding from him forever. I know running always seems like the best option, but from the way he looks at you, I’d stop and smell the roses.”

“He is quite amazing…” you murmur because he is. And you miss that. You miss him.

“Just try to remain calm. Don’t shut him out so fast. Plus, you and I need to talk about what happened because you still haven’t told me.”

“Whine and wine?” You smile, watching the grin rise on Monnie’s face.

“Whine and wine. Now let’s continue cuddling these felines and pooches. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been refraining from looking for Yoongi because all I wanna do is boop his button nose!”

“Oh, trust me, I know.” Chuckling, you and Monnie swap with each appointment, and though you force yourself to fight it, your head still spins profusely because what happened between you and Jimin is nearly eating you alive. Trying to find ways to preoccupy yourself, you maintain your attention on every patient that you bring back to the treatment area hardly looking your ex-boyfriend in the face. The conversation with Monnie seems to echo in the crevices of your conscious; you know she is right; you need to let your guard down and at least try.

“I was- um, I was looking to see if this dog has cataracts, but it doesn’t seem to, and I will say she doesn’t act as if she is blind. She strutted beside me like she knew where she was going.” Brushing your thumb cautiously along the medial canthus of the Bichon’s eyes, you notice that she does not seem to have lenticular sclerosis either, rather, a blue, foggy shade covers the majority of her corneas.

Jimin chuckles, reducing the anxiety smothering your chest, his eyes squint as he stares through the ophthalmoscope. “She can definitely see.” He murmurs. “Honestly, I think it’s edema. How old is she?”

“Eleven.”

“Ah, okay, she looks really good for her age,” standing straighter, he switches out the eye piece for an otoscope piece to look within the dog’s ears. “Do you happen to remember the technical term for this particular condition?”

Pausing, a nervous curl of a smirk graces your lips as you remember the fun in quizzing each other when it comes to the veterinary education. Jimin helped you immensely especially when studying for tests, and though your heart has not settled into a slower rate, you try to relax the rigidity plaguing your shoulders. “I- I think so.” You swallow, racking your brain, but instead, you deadpan. “Do you?”

Watching someone become caught off guard by your antics has always prompted you to stifle laughter, but if Jimin remembers anything about you, is that you can be a smart ass when you feel like it. Awkwardly clearing his throat, a habit he tends to do when he feels cornered, he shifts the otoscope to the dog’s other ear to visualize the eardrum. “That’s why I’m asking you.”

“Corneal Endothelial Degeneration. Must I go on?”

A small smile remains planted on his plump lips, before his eyes meet yours, holding your gaze for a few seconds after he sets the otoscope aside. “You can. But I’d love to hear it over a much-needed cup of coffee sometime.”

“I-” Somehow, in your peripherals aside from the enormous jump of your heart, you thought you saw Monnie smiling in satisfaction along with Min Yoongi at your attempt of civility even though deep down you know Jimin had not done anything wrong. Unfortunately, you did not get a chance to answer him because Namjoon comes back with concerns involving a boarder, so Jimin quickly gives the plan regarding the Bichon for you to relay to the owner to then turning on a heel behind Joon. Humorously enough, Monnie and Yoongi retreated around the corner after Jimin left, and you can’t help but shake your head playfully at their precious nosiness.

The morning seems to drag otherwise, and the mini start of a headache pounds at the corner of your forehead from the stress of everything, and when lunch rolls around, you gather your lunch box to head in the direction of your car. Normally, you spend your break with whoever happens to take it at the same time, but with the events of today, you would much rather spend it alone. Suddenly, you feel a gentle hand touch your back, leading you into the storage room that holds the prescription foods and parasite preventatives. Your eyes sporadically search to find a frantic Jimin who runs a slow hand through his hair.

“Jimin!” You gasp, but keeping your voice low enough to not be heard. “Jimin, what the hell are you doing?”

“Look, y/n, I know this is sudden. I-I tried reaching out to you when I first saw that you worked here. I just- we need to talk-”

Sadness clouds your features, and with the way your heart is racing, you would do anything to take a chill pill, or a tequila shot. “Okay,” you run a swift tongue over your lips, your mouth dry. “Talk.” The word comes out more of a croak than an actual voice, and though your fingers grip the handle of your lunch box, you feel the panic looming around your chest. What is frightening to you mostly is that you want to take him up on the cup of coffee, wrap him in your trembling arms and bury your nose in his chest to breathe in the scent of him that you have missed. So much. But the guilt consumes faster than your inward wishes can become a reality.

“I know we have a history, and I’m not sure who all is aware of it, but I just want us to be okay.”

“Me- me too,” you whisper, swallowing hard. “I want us to be okay, too.”

Jimin’s eyes scream desperation for the truth that has plagued him all year long. He deserves closure, but where do you even start? The betrayal of you is one thing, but the betrayal of another individual Jimin looked up to including you leaving him could stir emotions you do not want him to have to cope with. And, even now, standing awkwardly, you hardly can formulate a sentence in your mind to speak springing an already nervous Jimin to scan the shelves as if searching for a script to help him speak clearly. “I guess I’m still processing everything because your dad recommended Bangtan Vet to me, but never mentioned that you work here.”

Furrowed eyebrows ornament your gaze at the sudden mention of your father, because what did Jimin just say? Your lungs feel like they are not getting enough air at this news and the utter disbelief smothers your brain to the point you feel lightheaded.

“My- father referred you to come here?”

A frilly whistle sounds outside the door before it is pushed open causing you and Jimin to freeze to now seeing the dark strands of Jeongguk who halts in immense surprise when he sees the pair of you- in a storage closet- alone. Jeongguk’s lips are still poised as if whistling, but no sound emits. Though this is not the first time you and Jimin have hidden in a small room before, this is, in fact, the first time you two have been caught.

Holy fuck.

You freak, dropping your lunch box as it clangs to the ground. Leaping forward, you grasp Jeongguk’s scrub shirt while the burn in your biceps proves how hard you tug your friend as he stumbles forward. “Guk!” You close the door behind him with a thud before his back pins to the wall beside it. “What are you doing in here!? Aren’t you supposed to be feeding, I don’t know, the bearded dragons!?”

“Well excuse me for doing what Dr. Seokjin told me to do, you cake slice! He asked me to grab a flea preventative for his patient! And for your information the dragons have been given a bountiful amount of kale and juicy crickets-”

“Well feed them some more! Where are the meal worms-?”

“Okay, but can I grab the prevention for Dr. Seokjin first? I have a job to do, ya know?” Gulping, Jeongguk, who stares like a deer in the headlights, flits his gaze from your crazed expression to a Dr. Park who is stunned at the view he is now witnessing, arms outreached as if to help, but remain stiffened. Breathing heavily, you try your best to remain neutral, but the last thing you need is for everyone and their mother to know that you and Jimin were a thing. Or, for Jimin to find out that you and Jeongguk had a one-night drunken fling.

Releasing a long sigh, you reply. “Okay, but whatever you do, do not tell anyone that you found us in here,” maybe the scar from your father is why you are so afraid but protecting Jimin is what you aim to do regardless, even if it means destroying your own heart. And, with this new information you have learned about your dad mentioning Jimin working where you are is still fogging your spinning brain cells, and you know it will be a bridge that you eventually will have to cross, and for now, you try to suppress the thought. But you also know from the secret Guk has kept about your drunken rendezvous is that you can trust him, too.

Fingers bundled in Guk’s shirt, you loosen them, stretching the digits to relieve from the hard grip you had. Jimin asks which prevention Jeongguk needs and searches the shelves for his reply, handing the box to him once found.

“Um,” Jeongguk counters, flipping the box like a microphone. “At least you weren’t hiding in the bathroom this time.” You grimace at his valid point, him stepping aside to introduce himself officially to an ajar mouthed Jimin before continuing despite Jimin just handing him the prevention a minute ago. “I’m assuming the two of you have some catching up to do, and no worries, I’ll guard the door.” He winks turning back to you, he mouths silently. “Is that the guy?” Referring to the ‘guy’ you were still in love with a year ago. Nodding slightly, you whisper. “Thank you, Guk,” shoving him, “And please tell Monnie and Yoongi, if they are anywhere out there that I will put crickets in their sandwiches if I catch them being nosy again.”

“Will do. But mealworms are better-”

“I- Huh?”

“Oh!” He bellows as he turns halfway in the now opened door, an index finger held up. “If I hear reasons of why you may need apricot lube, I’m interrupting-”

“Agh! Guk!” You can hear Jimin’s chortling behind you and flushing a deep shade of red, you push Jeongguk out of the storage room, wanting nothing more than to melt into the floor.

“Apricot? Lube?” Jimin cocks an eyebrow in interest as you shamefully turn to face him.

“I may have tried a dollup?” Realizing how you sound, you panic, “But not on someone! It was a taste test! I just wanted to see what it tasted like! I’m not promiscuous-!” Damnit.

Maybe a hint of relief etches in Jimin’s eyes, but it doesn’t peel the deepened shade of red burning hot upon your chest gliding slowly to your face. “Ooooh! Don’t act like you are so innocent. You and I both know this isn’t the only time we’ve hidden somewhere secluded in a hospital.”

“I know…” Jimin bends down to retrieve your lunch box, gesturing it to you, surprisingly calm despite your panicked outburst. Your fingers touch when you reach for the item, a gentle smirk curling at the corner of his lips. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” With a knowing smile, you finally stare into his eyes for a full minute. Finally.

“I don’t think I will either.”

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justimagineok · 1 year

Text

2:30 series - GET OUT

Summary: One too sure, the other not that much. One focused on the present, the other too stuck on the past and afraid of the future. Both of them in love with each other.

genre: angst ( are we really surprised at this point?)

A/N: Let me know if you have any questions ;) as always feedback is always appreciated! feel free to reblog, comment or send me an ask at anytime 😊

The next day, Jungkook's mother stayed with him until lunch, when Namjoon arrived to replace her. You agreed with him to stay with Jungkook from the afternoon until the next day, since he informed you that he had a meeting with Bang PD. You arrived at the hospital at the agreed time, greeting some of the nurses that you have already become accustomed to due to the hospital's routine. One more day going to the hospital meant one less day until Jungkook came home. 'Let's get it.'

You received a quick message from Namjoon informing you that he would quickly go to the cafeteria and that he would go to the meeting soon after, letting you know that Jungkook was already waiting, and you headed to the room in quick steps. Perhaps today he was a little happier? More hopeful perhaps? 'Let's find out', you thought to yourself. You knocked softly on the door before entering, seeing Jungkook too absorbed in his game to react to your entrance. Not a good sign. "Hi grumpy. Did you eat anything?"

Jungkook only sighted, still focused on the game.

"Hello?", you waved to gain his attention, but still didn't move.

“Leave me alone, YN. I don’t need you micromanaging me.”, he replied bitterly.

You stopped on your tracks, odding his attitude. "I'm not doing that. I literally just asked if you ate. You want Skittles? ", you offer the package to him, but Jungkook grabs it just to throw it harsly on the other side of the room."What the he-"

"Why are you even here, YN?! I told you to leave.", Jungkook glares at you. 'Not this again', you think to yourself.

"And I told you I'm not going anywhere, Jungkook. Get over it.", you asserted nonchalantly, sitting on the couch. Jungkook sits up straight, shooting his cold eye at you. "Do you think I'm joking? Do you think any of this is funny? You’re not my anything anymore, YN, so, stop acting like it.", he scoffs, dismissing you.

"Ouch. That was a low blow, even for you”, you say, surprised at his tone. You thought he was just being angry at something else, but no. He was fuming at you. "Jungkook, what's going on?"

"What's going on?!", he looked at you like you were clearly missing something obvious. "I'm mad 'cause I can't fucking trust you, YN! You left me before without any hesitation, no second thought at all!"

"Jungkook..."

"No! Don't 'Jungkook' me. What the hell is stopping you from doing it again? It's pity! It's your fucking savior complex and I hate it! I FUCKING HATE IT!"

“I don't pity you, Jungkook!", you spat back.

"Do you think I'm a charity case, huh? Go away! I don’t want you here.”

Namjoon who just entered the room, stopped in his tracks, shocked by whatever it was he was seeing.

"I'm not leaving you Jung-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT! GOD! ARE YOU DEAF?! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE ANYMORE!", Jungkook's face were red like you never seeing before.

"Jungkook, don't speak like that to her, man", Namjoon interjected, speaking for the first time since he arrived. He, too, was thinking you and Jungkook were just bickering like you guys always did, but this was different, and it was escalating quickly.

"Back off, hyung!", Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows at Namjoon, who were just too stunned to react. "God! You're so clingy, YN... You're just making my recovery slower. You're dragging me down with you.”

Jungkook could see in your eyes, that if his other sentences hadn't broken your heart, the last one did. But he didn't stop.

"Jungkook, what is... wrong with yo-", you try to speak, but he interrupts again.

"What? You think we're going back to dating?! Just because you said you loved me before the accident?! I'm sick of being near you, YN and thank God we didn't kiss, 'cause I'd probably fall for that. You think I'm loyal like a puppy and that you being here is gonna make us stronger?! Get out of your head, YN. Grow up. You're no longer useful to me.”

You give a step back, letting his words sink into your head. He was trying to hurt your feelings and make sure you wouldn't come back. You just didn't understand why. Jungkook closed his eyes, wanting to die, but instead he just ended his speech. "I just want you to go, YN. I want you to walk away. You're good at that."

“I don’t believe you for a second,” you shake your head, stating your ground. “Not for one damn second, Jungkook. If you want to get rid of me, you’re going to have to try harder than that.”

"YN, I think it's bes-", Namjoon tried to speak, but Jungkook beat him to it.

"You know where I was going when my accident happened?", he spats. "I was going after you. Cause that's my go-to response to everything. I keep chasing after you, YN. But not anymore. I'm done. You're the reason I'm here. The reason I'm in this deep shit and I can't stand to look at your face anymore."

"Jungkook, this is unacceptable, man!", Namjoon yelled, ready to give Jungkook a lecture and a deserve smack.

"Let him say what he wanna say, Namjoon", you say as you stare into Jungkook's hatred eyes. "He wants to be hated by me so much. I think he's finally succeeding.”, you sight disappointed, looking away from the maknae's eyes.

"I'm done playing house, YN. I don't need you in my life and I don't want you in it. I don't feel good with you.", Jungkook said finally, turning his head to not spare a glance at you anymore.

"YN, don't take what he's saying seriously. Some bug clearly ate what was left of his brain.", Namjoon glared at Jungkook, who scoffed.

"It's okay.", you breathe deeply. "Think I’ve heard enough, I'm going home.”, you sighted, grabbing your purse and heading towards the door. "I should have seen it coming.", you whisper more to yourself while closing the door behind you. "I am sorry you became the shallow person you always feared, Jungkook.", is the last thing you say before closing the door.

"YN, wait-",

"Let her go, hyung."

You're too far to hear Namjoon's screams at Jungkook.

"You're acting like a kid, grow the fuck up, Jungkook!", Namjoon yells, his face red with anger. "Keep doing this shit and I'm going to punch you, I swear, man!"

"I don't need her. In fact, I don't need any of you, hyung.", Jungkook says, staring at him.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that.", Namjoon dismisses his words. "I can imagine that none of this must be easy for you, JK, but it's not our fault. It's not YN's fault either, and you know that…", Namjoon sat at the edge of the maknae's bed. "But the way you're acting? No accident is an excuse for the way you're treating YN. She's done nothing but stay by your side, and you keep acting like she's being clingy, when in fact, she's doing this because she cares about you. I don't know what you think her motives are to taking care of you, but I can assure you it's not for your handsome face, cause even that can't make up for the fact that you're a fucking asshole that keep mistreating someone who cares about you."

"I never asked her to care.", Jungkook spats back.

"See? That right there? That's what I'm talking about! What if the situation where the opposite? What if she was the one who needed help? The one hurt... would you take care of her?"

"You know I would. She needs me", Jungkook answers immediately.

"Maybe you're wrong. She's even tougher than she lets us see, JK. Maybe you're the one who needs her and not the contrary. You act like you see her as this broken little thing that needs you to take care of her. She doesn’t need that. She might have been broken at one time, but she’s not fucking broken now. She’s put it all back together. She’s made a life for herself. And one more thing: your accident was not her fault. I can't believe you said that to her.", Namjoon shook his head, frustrated. "She didn't make you go after her, Jungkook. It's you who chose time after time, just as she's choosing time after time to come back here."

Jungkook says nothing. Namjoon gets up picking his stuffs on the couch to stay the night.

"I always admired you, JK. Please, don't make me regret it. The way I see you acting right now only makes me think how much you don't deserve someone like YN in your life. I wish I didn't think this way, but I do. Just pray she doesn't come to her senses and realize that too."

next>>

#bts fake texts #bts fic #bts fake chat #bts fake chats #bts scenarios #bts #2:30 #jungkook x yn #jk x you #jk x reader #jungkook fics #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #angst bts #angst

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jeondesu · 1 hour

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an argument between gn and boyfie jk? idrc what the plot is but i need me some angst and fluff 🥺

— you and me both anonnie, i love some hurt/comfort ! 🤧 alsooo, i wasn’t too sure if you meant gf & bf or if you meant gn!reader but i will assume that was a typo bestie, however if you did want gn!reader i can make another one for you just lmk >.< some warnings include: angst, petty arguments, mature language, oc is being a little hard headed, misunderstandings, simp behavior (on jk’s part lol), one (1) kms joke, i hope this wasn’t too bad sjgdsdfs

#jungkook smau #jungkook texts #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts smau #bts texts #bts fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n

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thebangtancloud · 2 years

Text

When he leaves for work without resolving an argument ~ Text Scenarios

Hyung line • Maknae Line:

Request: Can we have bts texts about aftermath of argument happened right before boys left for some event , out of country maybe, and they left without trying to fix with reader but feel bad after a bit and try to make up but she’s not really happy to accept? I love these!

Park Jimin:

Kim Taehyung:

Jeon Jungkook:

@derinxfam Permanent Taglist: @royallyjjk , @joondiary , @0xnna0 , @cuteipat , @koalasandcuddles , @bangrauhl13 , @blissedjoon , @underratedbitch-number13 , @tinyoonsblog , @itachi-chi @sparkyprotectionsquad @scuzmunkie @uno7 , @jhopesucker , @kitty-kair , @persefoneniverse , @k1ngsnak3, @rapmonie2047, @i-cant-choose-a-username-help

#bts text scenarios #bts text imagines #bts text aus #bts smau #bts angst #jimin smau #jimin text au #park jimin smau #park jimin text au #kim taehyung smau #kim taehyung text au #taehyung smau #taehyung text au #jeon jungkook smau #jeon jungkook text au #jungkook smau #jungkook text au

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strawbearytae · 1 year

Text

36. 🤐👌 📎

<- prev next->

masterlist

a/n: thanks for reading! please remember to hit that rblg button as a pat on the head for me for a good job (•ᴗ•◍)!

synopsis: flirting with your crush of 3 years wasn’t something you thought of when first getting twitter, a nasty breakup wasn’t what you expected either… but why is it that after 3 years and loads of droning on self-improvement and trying to become “that” girl, your gym buddy reminds you of the one person you wanted to forget?

taglist❕

@epiph4ny @90s-belladonna @bubblytaetae @somelazysundays @flowerprincejin @silscintilla @chanscase143 @koostarcandy @l7bangtan @bluxjun @mwitsmejk @vwinterr-bearr @xx-sikki-nixx-xx @haitani-22 @wrmnssoul @rjsmochii @halesandy @vicki1031 @peachyjk97 @therapysides @rinkud @pb-n-juju @teti-menchon0604 @jay-fireheart @bjoriis @fancycollectormoon @yoonabeo

message me to be added on the taglist

Permanent Taglist Open!!

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muniimyg · 1 year

Text

45 | sol at luna ✒️

series m. list

taglist: @kakixaku @boraength @4ksj @pamzn @jinsearth @fancycollectormoon @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @fan-ati--c @kthlvr30 @ellesalazar @taeees-world @sukunasrealgf @firesighgirl @jeonninja @bloopkook @butterymin @pinkseokchim @joonsjuice

By now, it’s been almost two months since you left.

Time passes by slowly without you. It’s not necessarily difficult, it’s just new. For the first time in a long time, Jungkook is alone and deep down, he’s thankful. He’s thankful that it’s unlike the last time.

Last time, it was more complex.

Last time, he completely lost himself in the underlying feelings of regret and hurt. Though, hurt is still present in the time between you two; it does not ache the same. Even in his quiet moments, he feels relief.

As the seconds slip through his fingers, Jungkook fills what once was a void with a mundane routine. By 8AM, he’s out the door and on the way to the gym. By 12PM, he cooks his lunch and heads to his office to do whatever work he needs to. Sometimes, his photoshoots run on different times and he simply adjusts to it. Although, it’s weird to see your office space empty and for him to have no one to eat with during breaks… But it is what it is.

At night, Jungkook often go out for dinner just so he would feel like there’s something to do. Instead of sitting home alone thinking about you, why not try restaurants and make a list of the ones he plans to bring you to when you return?

He rides his motorcycle only when the weather was good. If it rained or if the clouds gave off the impression that they would cry soon, he would take his car or walk. Jungkook likes to think that the transition from winter to spring is a lot like him. There’s warmth, but a chilly breeze follows. He’s a lot like that these days. In fact, Jungkook has been doing just that.

He’s been thinking a lot.

Aside from relating to the weather, he’s been processing his thoughts and feelings. Only recently has he come to the conclusion that all of his thoughts and feelings circle back to this: Jungkook has no regrets.

He loved you as much as he could.

He even let himself become selfish and consumed by it—he let himself feel and be ugly of his love. Prior, he experienced the innocence of it—the walking you home, the holding your hand, and giving you his jacket before you could even ask for it…

The friendship.

All of it.

Jungkook has given you his youth. In return, you gave him yours.

That’s what best friends do.

That’s what soulmates do.

The truth is, Jungkook has a lot of unresolved feelings towards you and Jin. It’s not like a month or two could fix that. You were his entire life and Jin was simply a reflection of Jungkook’s own potential. Not to say that Jungkook and his achievements do not suffice—it’s the character Jin that Jungkook envies. The grace, the fruitful spirit, and the fact that Jin grew up exactly the same Jungkook did but he turned out… Better. He turned out to be a better man than him.

Jin turned out to be the man for you.

In hindsight, Jungkook has always known this. That’s why he has always felt jealous and possessive around Jin. Partly because it was about you, but more because it was about him. Jungkook himself hasn’t seen Jin since the incident. After Jin’s parents found out he was hurt, they rushed him to private home care. It was completely unnecessary (he had only gotten a few stitches), yet, as the obedient son he is, Jin complied with his parents.

He could never doubt that you loved him, but what he could question was the romantic extent of it. Even if you only gave him a split moment, he could find it in himself to make peace with it. He’ll be thankful for your consideration because to be loved by you is a privilege. With that, comes the guilt of understanding what he had done. Since then, he has felt nothing but awful for taking that away that privilege from Jin.

Day by day, Jungkook begins to move more of his things into your place. Tonight, he decides to make the final move to your place. He figures he’ll just contact Jin when more time has passed. When his thoughts settle, his things are out of this house, and you’re… You’re less on his mind.

As Jungkook lifts his last three boxes, he is met by Jin at the door. It’s a sick coincidence. It’s one of those moments in life where you know you’re screwed…

Jin drops his duffle bag to his feet, blocking Jungkook. He leans against the door frame and crosses his arms at the sight. Jungkook awkwardly shifts before squatting to put the boxes down. As he turns to Jin, he pauses and forces out a laugh to lighten the sudden tense mood.

Jin looks healthy.

He looks well rested and well taken care of. His hair is freshly cut—probably by his mother’s demand. He looked good. Probably better than Jungkook. Jungkook’s hair is overgrown, well overdue for a haircut. Jungkook doesn’t get much sleep. Jungkook is trying to take care of himself.

“You already paid next month’s rent,” Jin breaks the silence, shifting away from the door. “Are you moving out?”

Jungkook nods, unsure of what to say. Should he just stay quiet? He didn’t think this far.

“... Are we ignoring each other now?”

Jungkook shakes his head immediately. He feels intimidated because he’s embarrassed of all the shit he’s caused. It’s a little weird to have his confidence so shaken. He’s so used to being in a bad mood towards Jin... Now, all he feels is sorry. Jungkook clears his throat to answer, “I can’t live with you anymore… Not after all of that.”

Jin shrugs and gently kicks the boxes aside. “If you two are together, I’ll make my peace with it. It won’t be easy and I’ll probably want to rip your head off every time I see you but… You don’t have to leave.”

Jungkook is taken back with how casually Jin slips you into the conversation. Sure, he took the step to break the ice but still... Wasn’t it too early? Jin has always been insanely mature. It’s one of those things that Jungkook thinks is what charmed you into falling for Jin. Who could blame you, honestly? With Jin’s patience, maybe forgiveness isn’t too far away.

Nevertheless, Jungkook redirects.

“Your foot okay?”

“Yeah,” Jin assures him, noticing Jungkook’s tone of voice to be concerned. He shakes his foot around to prove so. “Don’t worry about it, man. I’m okay! At least we didn’t give each other a papercut.”

A papercut.

You were so furious then. It was so serious when it was happening but now it feels silly to think about. Jin has had enough rest and time to think as well—a lot of clarity to be exact.

This time, Jungkook laughs for real. It’s only a light laugh, but it was definitely a more genuine one than the last. Jin laughs along, walking and finding a seat on the couch.

At first, Jungkook isn’t sure of what to do.

Is the conversation over?

Is he free?

Can he leave respectfully and just text him an apology?

He feels so ashamed, it’s making him nervous. He can’t think straight, therefore he can’t figure out how to act.

For the second time, Jin notices the way Jungkook moves. His posture is unfamiliar and he’s sure if you were here, you’d be telling him how Jungkook feels. You’d probably be right. But you’re not here. So, Jin is stuck with trying to communicate with Jungkook himself. Jin gestures to the other side of the couch, cueing Jungkook to take a seat. In response, Jungkook offers an awkward smile before following through with Jin’s request. There, the two men sit in silence for a moment. It isn’t heavy or too light—no, they are both aware of the thin ice.

Luckily for Jungkook, Jin is not the kind of man to make others go through a hard time just because he has. He’s always been good-natured and patient. Perhaps that’s why he has never really fought back against Jungkook. In the back of his mind, he has always seen Jungkook as a little brother.

How could he fight his own brother?

“___ and I… W-we… Uh, we’re not together,” Jungkook stutters. He isn’t even usre why he’s saying this… Yes, Jin deserved to know the truth but it’s not like he had asked. In all honesty, Jungkook feels embarrassed to be reporting this to Jin as if it’s some sort of high school gossip. “It didn’t work out between us.”

Jin furrows his eyebrows and lowers his gaze. He can’t believe the words that are coming out of Jungkook’s mouth. “What does that mean?”

Jungkook takes a deep breath. He hopes Jin’s heart isn’t like his. He hopes Jin is just as kind as you say he is. “I’m not too sure what you said… Or how you broke things off with her.. But she came over. We almost fucked and it went horribly. I asked her if she was in love with me and she couldn’t answer. Then, when she could; she just cried. I walked her home and we talked things out… As much as we could, you know? Before she…”

“Before she what?” Jin’s eyes widen, afraid of the conclusions he was jumping into. What could have possibly happened? Jin had his own suspicions but they weren’t anything worth bringing up. He was just curious as to why you and Jungkook suddenly went a little quiet on social media. Why you two weren’t posting one another since he assumed you two were together... But now, it’s beginning to make sense.

If you aren’t with Jungkook, where are you?

Then, Jin draws the connection.

“She left to be with her parents, didn’t she?”

“She did.”

Jin opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out. He isn’t too sure of what he feels. What did he feel? Shocked? Proud? Sad? How could you leave without telling him? Where did you go? There are a million questions that begin to form in his mind, but a part of him also felt a peace knowing that you’re out there somewhere... It means there’s hope for you. It means you want to do better for yourself.

Jin had lied that day.

The entire time he was rejecting you, he was lying to himself and to you. Of course, he loved you. Of course, he wanted to know… It just felt too hard to. It didn’t feel bearable anymore and even in that, he found himself choosing you. In the spur of the moment, he decided to let you go. He needed to.

If it wasn’t Jungkook, and it wasn’t him; it was you.

The one that needed to heal, to love, and accept love the most was you. The entire time, it had to be you.

He never wanted you to leave him. Not entirely. Of course, he understood that this was about you and your parents… But, as Jin slips away from your life, he hopes you’ll remember him forever. That you’d have a hard time getting over him like the way he is with you.. He hopes that even if you moved on to Jungkook; you’d still wonder about him. It’s selfish, yes… But it’s the reality of all his feelings. He wants you to love him back in any way you can.

Jungkook nods, lowering his gaze. “She did… A-and… She’s—fuck,” he sniffs, trying to compose himself. Jungkook is shocked at how he suddenly feels like he could crumble.

In front of Jin?

Crazy.

It’s been a while since Jungkook has ever been vulnerable with someone that isn’t you. It’s strange and completely ironic that it’s happening now with Jin.

“She’s what?” Jin wants to reach out to Jungkook but he isn’t sure how to. He just shifts closer to him and lets him take his time.

“I think she’s happy,” Jungkook’s voice breaks at the end. He gives in and lets himself go. Tears begin to stream his face and the outburst of emotions surprise both men. Jin stays silent as Jungkook lets out a few sobs. Jungkook’s breath begins to get heavy and his shoulders start to shake from the crying.

“S-she’s happy,” he sobs, “I c-can’t believe I a-asked her to s-stay. I can’t b-believe I got in the w-way of her happiness.”

“Jungkook, that’s not true. You made her happy—”

“You made her happy, Jin.” Jungkook admits this so heartbreakingly. He says it with so much confidence, it makes Jin fully believe his words. Jungkook takes a few deep breaths and stops his crying. He takes it upon himself to kneel in front of Jin.

Jin shakes his head, confused and beginning to think this is some sort of sick joke. He didn’t really need an apology from Jungkook. He walked away. He gave up and gave this to Jungkook... He took himself out of the running. Why is Jungkook this way?

Over the past few weeks, Jin has become more and more accepting to the situation. It’s not that he stopped having feelings for you, but more like he has to be okay. He has to let you be happy even if it’s with someone else.

“Get up—don’t... Don’t do that,” Jin reaches and tugs Jungkook by the arm. Jungkook bows his head and stays the way he is. “Don’t kneel. It’s not that serious.”

“I fucked up. I fucked you up. I fucked you and ___ up.”

“Get up,” Jin begs. “Or else I’m leaving and I won’t listen to a single thing you have to say.”

Jungkook raises his head and looks at Jin confused. “I’m trying to say I’m sorry.”

“Great,” Jin accepts. “You can say sorry. I can accept it. No need for the kneeling. Get up.” This time, Jin demands so. Jungkook sighs and gets up. Jin relaxes.

“Jin, I’m really sorry—”

“Put your arms up,” Jin instructs Jungkook. The two share a look before Jin shrugs and continues, “stand up and raise your arms. You can say sorry while you do that.”

“Are you serious—”

“Arms.”

Jungkook raises his arms and huffs. “This is so childish.”

“Just like you,” Jin jokes. “You can put them down. I was just fucking around.”

Instead of doing so, Jungkook shakes his head and raises them higher. “My arms are up because I am childish. I was impatient, obnoxious, and immature when it came to you and ___. I had to learn the hard way that no matter how much I could wish, I can’t control how ___ feels and loves me. That, just because she didn’t see me as a man, it doesn’t mean I’m not one. I acted like a child. I was barely a good person and even when I was at my lowest, you and ___ still treated me like I was enough to be considered. Why? It was about you two this entire time... I fucked it up. I tried to make a place for myself in her heart—placing myself in between you two. I was so caught up in trying to make her happy and making you unhappy—I never stopped to ask myself if I was happy. I wanted her so badly... I love her so much and it just hurt to be looked past after everything we went through... I wanted to give her everything she deserves and in that, I lost sight of what I deserve. I know I’m enough,” Jungkook confides, “but not for ___. That’s you.”

“Jungkook, this isn’t just about ___. I appreciate you encouraging and even... Approving of ___ and I... But the fact remains that you’re her best friend. I would never take that away from her. That’s why it’s okay, dude. She loves you, she fucked up, and she’s trying to fix it like you. The same goes for me... We can’t keep doing this.. Assuming who she loves and what she chooses to do with either one of us. And whatever happened between us two, we’ll fix it when the time is right... Even if we weren’t always close.. I’ve always seen you as a younger brother. Everything you felt and everything you feel is valid.. I know it’s been a long journey and I’m glad that regardless if it’s you and ___; you’re putting yourself first now. You must be exhausted.”

Jungkook sniffs, trying his best not to cry from Jin’s words. He remembers what he said to you the other night; “we exhaust the people around us.” It hurts. It aches even more.

Jin continues. “Jungkook, I admire that you aren’t defining yourself based on a person’s inability to love or choose you. I hope that you don’t abandon yourself anymore. I hope whatever closure or healing you need; you get. You’re a good person, Jungkook. Why do you think I felt compelled to compete with you?” Jin attempts to joke. “I only compete with the best.”

Jungkook scoffs at him. “Time and place, old man. I’ll beat you up.”

Jin laughs and nods. “I think you’ll need to put your arms down if you want to beat me up.”

It’s then that Jungkook realizes his arms stayed up the entire time. He puts them down and winces at the mild soreness. As he rolls his shoulders, Jin asks him, “where are you moving to?”

“___’s place,” Jungkook answers softly. “She’s going to be gone for a while and I don’t know... It’s better than going to my parents... It’s better than staying here.”

“Here’s not so bad,” Jin shrugs, hinting that he doesn’t really want Jungkook to go. “I actually… I actually have to go on abroad for a while. The company—remember that time I came home really upset from a board meeting? They said they wanted to relocate me. It didn’t make sense since it’s my family’s company and—argh, nevermind. I’m going to go crazy again. Anyways, I negotiated my way out of the permanent relocation for just a three month trip.”

“Shit,” Jungkook sympathizes. “Must’ve been a hard fight.”

“It was… Anyways, I won’t be here for three months. Which is why I’m saying… You should stay.” Jin offers and Jungkook feels touched. “Look, I won’t sleep with your friends anymore—“

“Too soon,” Jungkook shuts his eyes and wiggles his fingers at Jin. Jin chuckles and puts his hands up in surrender. “I’ll think about it… And Jin?”

“What’s up?”

“Again, I’m really sorry—“

“They say changed behaviour is the best form of an apology… Why don’t we put a pause on the words and focus on the actions, okay?”

Jungkook blinks. “... Okay… Like what? What now?”

“What now?”

“Are we friends? Can we be?” Jungkook asks, unsure if it’s even appropriate for him to. “You don’t have to say yes... It’s just.. ___ isn’t here anymore, Hobi, Nam Joon, and Yoongi don’t live here... I realized during our clubbing experience that you’re a pretty okay guy to be around—”

“We can be friends,” Jin agrees. “I’m not going to do any friendship anniversary dates with you though.”

Jungkook laughs again and feels better.

The rest of the night, the two bond with beer and take out. They find out they have a lot in common in terms of childhood and interests. The two talk about how they have brothers but never felt too close to them. Secretly, both begin to hope that they’ll feel differently with one another.

Jin thinks about you.

He wonders if he should message you and ask how you’re doing. He wonders if Jungkook’s encouragement towards you means there’s something worth saving. He wonders if there’s still a chance for you two.

He hopes there is.

Jungkook, from his moment on, promises to be a good friend to Jin. He thinks there’s a lot of making up to do. He can’t believe Jin is leaving.. He can’t believe he’ll be alone alone.

Then, before the two know it, they’re passed out in the living room with the TV playing.

If only you could see this.

If only you could be here and take in this moment.

If one is sol, burning so bright that he burns himself out and the other is luna, too cold and distant to love you—then, oh, how they’ve changed. Yet, one thing remains the same…

As they rise and fall, day or night; your sol at luna stay fated to love you.

#bts social media au #bts fic #bts fake texts #bts angst #jin x yn #jungkook x yn

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