#its. nope you have to join them and do what they say. why? fuck you.
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i keep trying to want to play starfield but the main plot has so profoundly failed to convince me to buy into it. and im not a guy who needs a lot of convincing.
#skyrim: dragons are back and they will kill people if you dont do something!#me: got it. i care about this plot. that is a clear danger.#fallout 4: the world ended and your baby was kidnapped! go find him!!#me: yes absolutely. that is something i can easily imagine my character as motivated to do. i want to protect this baby.#starfield: euuuuugh uh. you touched a rock and saw stars. fly across the galaxy and join this group of explorers now.#me: w. why?? it isnt like im suffering any ill effects from touching the rock so they cant help me. i dont care abt exploring the universe#i havent been GIVEN a reason to care. theres no stakes. im just being told to do something. fallout 3 had the same issue.#except at least in fallout 3 its your fake dad and i can imagine my character caring about him.#in starfield it is literally just being told what to do and being given no reason for doing it. and this is supposed to be a game#about exploration. yet the player isnt given any autonomy or anything.#its not even like barrett is like 'i have to stay here can you please go TELL constellation about this rock'#its. nope you have to join them and do what they say. why? fuck you.#i want to like it i really do but. god.#carly.txt
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loser!ellie x bully!reader
summary: ellie upsets reader and takes her punishment like a champ.
cw: cowgirl, bondage
"els take me to the mall tomorrow?" you say not even looking up from your phone, scrolling through insta. its suppose to sound like a question because ellies trying to teach you that you cant be demanding with everything you say. you ignored her when she first said that to you but you took it into consideration, not doing it so often anymore.
ellie is sitting at the bottom of her bed reading a comic book and rubbing your feet thats in her lap. "uh um, actually i cant. i have.. a test, yup a test to study for." you glance up at her with a quirked brow, her face is red and flushed but she always looks that around you so you shrug. "fine" you say rolling your eyes snatching your foot out her hand.
your not upset frfr, you know how important grades are to ellie, which is why shes always so insistent on trying to help you study.
"im staying here tonight." you say taking your pants off leaving you in a shirt and underwear, crawling under her blanket. ellie hums in approval, and joins you spooning you as you both slept.
the next day, you decided to go to the mall with a friend since ellie was busy. yall stopped at a wing place close to campus and see ellie sitting inside with those other losers, dina and jesse. ellie has never blatantly lied to you like this.
you walk over to her fuming. yea, you know the last time she tried to miss plans with you to hang out with friends you said you would block her, but you threaten to block her all the time and never do.
her back is to you when you hit her with your purse, "wtf-" ellie says turning around looking angry and confuse. her face drops when she sees you obviously upset, she looks super guilty. "your such a bitch ellie. dont fucking talking to me." you turn and leave hearing ellie stumbling and asking you to wait behind you.
you get in your friends car arms crossed frowning, "take me home." "no food?" "i lost my appetite." your friend puts the car in reverse just as ellie comes out the restaurant and yall drive off.
your in your dorm when you hear rapid knocks at your door. you get up to open the door already knowing its ellie. "what" "please let me explain" she says hands clasped together with a pleading look on her face. "i dont wanna hear it williams." you say walking away from the open door.
ellie comes in closing the door behind you, getting on her knees in front of you. "please please forgive me. im so so sorry for lying. w-what can i do so you'll forgive me? ill do anything."
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶ ༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
"this isn't fair!" ellie says tears in her eyes. "you said you'd do anything." you say out of breath. your bouncing on her dick with her laying back on your bed hands tied above her head with a pair of your stockings. you refuse to let her touch you or fuck you, basically using her as your own little toy.
"please let me fuck you, i-i can make you feel so so good!" "nope." you say putting two fingers in her mouth so she would be quiet.
you throw your head back leaning over ellie tits all in her face as you keep riding. "fuck ellie." you say taking your spit covered fingers out ellie's mouth rubbing your clit with them.
ellie lets you use her because she feels so so bad for lying to you, she lays still even though it feels like torture. you moan out biting you bottom lip looking down at ellie who looks high, drool dripping out the corner of her mouth.
" ’m close els…" "please cum for me baby." ellie says before catching one of your enticing nipples in her mouth. you fully impale yourself on her dick creaming all over her. you smile down at her rising off her walking over to the bathroom leaving her tied up.
"please tell me you forgive me?"
#these two need some fluff#lesbian#wlw#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut#the last of us
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Panic attacks.
Eddie munson x reader
Summary: Eddie's having a bad day in school. He's doing everything not to have a panic attack. He doesn't even know what's wrong with him. He's sat at lunch leg bouncing. Hands sweaty. He needs help but the man will never admit it.
Eddie's sat at lunch n he's a hot mess. Shaking. Heavy breathing. He feels like the rooms spinning. Like everything ten times louder. Feels like he could throw up. He needs help. He doesn't even know what's wrong. Will he ask for help? Nope.
"Dude are you sure your OK?" Gareth askes concerned.
Eddie just mumbles and keeps his face in his hands.
You come walking over. Smiling ans joyful.
"OH no the devil in disguise." Jeff jokes as you approach the table.
"Hilarious honestly you should ditch hellfire and join the comedy club your that funny." You joke back. You look down at Eddie and your face goes from happy to concerned. "You OK hunny?" You ask noticing his state.
He nods but other then that ignoring your even stood there. Normally Eddie's hands would be all over you by now talking non stop. You know somethings wrong.
"You sure?" You ask raking your fingers through his mess of curls. As your nails make contact with his head he flinches. You pick up Eddie's tun lunch box and hold your other hand out. "Common." You say to Eddie.
He finally looks up at you confused. "Let's go Common." You walk off. Eddie looks at the rest of hellfire and then gets up and walks off with you. Once you exit the cafeteria his head drops to your shoulder as you walk along taking his hand in your free one.
You both say nothing. Just walk down the halls in silence. Enjoying eachothers presence. However Eddie is still on the verge of his break down. "Where did you park?" You ask quietly "normal spot." HE mumbles back. You nod and walk to where Eddie parks.
He unlocks the side door opening it for you then climbing in after him. You pull the sofa in the back and turn it into the bed. You kay down opening your arms for Eddie. Eddie comes over and lays down next to you. Putting his head on your chest arms around your waist and hooking one leg over your legs.
You wrap your arms around him holding him close to you. Eddie closes his eyes and his breathing starts to slow down. His leg still bouncing slightly. But he's finally calming down.
"What's going on hun?" You ask quietly. You sit still holding the boy. He let's out a shakey breath. He hides his face in the crook of your neck finally speaking.
"Everything is becoming stressful again. I wanna skip lessons but I don't wanna fail. I'm not sleeping until late cause I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. And when I wake up I wake up late so I forget my meds which really isn't helping. By the time I remember I'm in first period. I go home take them and bam another night not sleeping. But if I Dont take em all together then I feel worse. I just need a break. And I feel like I've barely seen you and I really just need you and only you right now. The only time I see you out of school is with someone else present where its a group hang out. And I feel really fucking selfish but I just need something."
He broke. His eyes welled with tears. His breathing uneven. And a shaking mess. You run your hand comfortingly through his hair.
"Babe. You should've told me. We can hang out anytime just us you say the word I'm all yours OK? Don't feel selfish for needing something. How about I come stay at the trailer tonight? We van watch some movies and start fixing your sleep schedule for starters. I'll stroke your head until your asleep. N ill make sure we wake up on time and you take your meds." You whisper stroking his back.
He let's out a relaxed breath. "I don't deserve you. Your fucking perfect thank you love you so much. N yeh I sleep way better when your at mine no Idea why guess its just comfort." HE removes his head from your neck looming at you
"I love you to n ill always be here for you. I'll stay tonight so u get up for school n ill stay the weekend even Sunday night? That OK?" You ask. Eddie nods putting his head on your chest. 10 minutes later you both walk back into school hand in hand. You take Eddie to class and he promises to meet you at your class after school and you part ways.
-next morning-
6:53am. The clock read when Eddie woke up. He looked at laying on your side. Arm still drapped over Eddie. He squeezes you tighter kissing your head. "Babe, gotta wake up sleepy." HE says laying sweet kisses on your face.
You stir awake amiling at Eddie. He kisses your lips and you scrunch your face. You knew full when you had morning breath but Eddie didn't care. "Howd you sleep?" You ask running your hand up his side.
"SO fucking good. Best night sleep in about a month I won't even lie to you." HE says kissing your neck.
"You fell asleep so early 9 o'clock u went." You smiled at Eddie.
"Mmm was the head and back scratches." HE lays next to you hugging you.
You smile at him happy you could help him. Laying your head on his chest. You stayed in that position for another 5 minutes before getting up and dressed for school.
Your making toast for you and Eddie as he walks out slipping his top on giving you a brief glimpse of his happy trail which your eyes went to immediately.
"After school." HE winks kissing you.
"Meds hot shot." You says as the toast pops and you butter it. He opens the cabinet getting out his anxiety and adhd meds popping one of each in his hands.
"DO I need the adhd one I'm so fun without it." Eddie askes smirking popping both pills in his mouth drinking some milk from the cartoon.
"Mmm your fun on it to even better actually." You say passing him his toast.
"Mmm ok" he eats his toast and then you both brush your teeth. He stands behind you keeping one hand on your waist as you brush your teeth. And then off to school and you arrive with 10 minutes to spare.
You both approach the hellfire members and they look shocked to see Eddie. "Morning ladies." Eddie greets himself to the boys. Lighting a cigarette in the process pulling you close to his side inhaling and exhaling the smoke. "Cold isn't it."
"Dude your early to school jeez." Gareth says hugging his girlfriend trying to keep warm.
Eddie looks at you and smiles. "Thanks to y/n made me sleep n get up never knew actually needed to do that." HE said finishing his smoke tossing it on the ground.
Everyone parts ways ad the bell goes but you and Eddie. He walks you to the you both had kissing you. "Do we have to go in." HE smiles into your lips.
"Yep common." You kiss him one more time. "I love you."
"I love you too." ONE last kiss and a sutle ass swat and Eddie and you walk into class and arrives on time to the teachers and everyone else's response.
Yeah his anxiety gets the best of him sometimes. But he knows he will be OK as long as he's got you.
You and Eddie sit in the back wanting to be out rhe way. And Gareth walks in sitting in the middle row. "OH my god he came in on time shock to everyone thought the freak couldn't tell the time the amount of school he's missed." Jason comments seeing Eddie his friends laughing. Eddie gets a devilish grin on face.
"OH my god Jason carver came in 30 seconds thought he'd be able to count the amount of school he's attending or can't you cause your heads to full of me. If that's the case I'm honoured Jason but I have a girlfriend maybe one of your boy toys there will get u there in 23 seconds." Eddie smirks putting his arm around your shoulder. You can't help the smirk that creeps on your face.
Jason looks stunned at Eddie that he actually just said that infront of the class. Gareth still staring at the front then chimes in for Jason.
"He's backkkkkkkkkkkk."
#eddie m#eddie munson thoughts#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x yn#eddie smut#eddie x reader#eddie x you#rockstar eddie munson#eddie my beloved#eddie stranger things
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Big Glass Onion Knives Out spoilers below, do not read if you haven't seen the movie!
Analyzing *that scene* at the end of Glass Onion
Someone has probably already talked about this, but the glass smashing scene! I cannot stop thinking about that scene because of how it DIRECTLY parallels Miles's speech about being a disruptor.
"If you want to shake things up, you start with something small. You break a norm, or an idea, or a convention, some little business model. But you go with things that people are kind of tired of anyway."
Miles has a giant room full of glass statues. Hell, his big fancy dome is called the Glass Onion, so easly breakable with all of its glass panes. He has a lot of it and it would all be so easy to knock over and destroy with one wrong step, and we see Peg almost do just that very early on.
And when Helen starts grabbing them and smashing them? Miles laughs. To him, she is a small, insignificant person who thinks she can get back at him by smashing some (probably very expensive) sculptures. But they don't actually matter - he can always buy more. They will always be replaceable. But she doesn't stop.
"Everybody gets excited because you're busting up something that everyone wanted broken in the first place. That's the infraction point."
The others start to cheer her on. They want these broken too. They wanna do something that makes them feel a little better, like they've gotten back at Miles a little bit. So they cheer her on and then they join in. They smash glass and cheer and you can tell that they're having a lot of fun with it.
Does it help anything? No. Does it change the fact that they've turned their back on Andi and Helen? No. Does it actually do anything to screw over Miles or reject the conditions of his monetary support? Nope.
It's just a bit of fun for them to take the edge off.
"That's the place where you have to look within yourself and ask, 'Am I the kind of person who will keep going?' Will you break more things? Break bigger things?"
They've had their fun, hell, even Miles partook and smashed the cup he was holding because none of it fucking matters.
But Helen keeps going. She doesn't stop at the statues. She pushes.
"Are you willing to break the thing that nobody wants you to break? Because at that point, people are not gonna be on your side. They're gonna call you crazy. They're gonna say you're a bully. They're gonna tell you to stop."
They tell Helen to go easy, to calm down.
She smashes the piano and you can see they're all concerned. Birdie comments that she thinks the piano belonged to Liberace. The glass statues were fun, but this piano is important and how dare you break it.
She smashes the bar cart and everyone is getting more worried. Miles is getting mad. He tries to bargain with her, asks her what she wants because now he's upset, Helen has taken things farther than she was supposed to.
And then she takes the lighter and sets it ablaze.
They tell Helen to stop, to wait. They tell her enough, that she needs to be done now because they're uncomfortable. They had their fun and didn't sign up for anything meaningful to actually happen.
Even your partner will say, 'You need to stop.'
The line about your partner is the only one that doesn't hold true.
Blanc was Helen's partner in all of this and he was the one who told her to keep going, he was the one who handed her the solid hydrogen, who told her to remember why her sister walked away, and by doing so gave her the green light (even though she didn't need his permission) to burn it all down.
"Because as it turns out, nobody wants you to break the system itself. But that is what true disruption is. And that is what unites all of us. We all got to that line and crossed it."
Helen finds the line - she throws the Klean fuel and everything explodes in their faces.
And then the ultimate crossing of the line, their horrified faces as they realize what she is about to do as she lunges for the Mona Lisa and it goes up in flames. Nobody wants you to break the system and everyone is terrified when you do.
Helen crosses the line, burns Miles's whole empire down in the process.
All of Andi's friends just reshaped the systems to serve themselves.
Helen is the only one of them who ever crossed a meaningful line.
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WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay
Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.
This is long.
Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)
The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.
Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey
Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.
I have spoken.
(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)
#kind of geek therapy#geek therapy for me#cause expressing thoughts and feelings appropriately are good for me#tbb tech#the bad batch
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Hi!! Little prompt for Izzy/fang/frenchie— could we maybe get some Izzy comfort? It could be safeword comfort, things going too quickly and Izzy flipping out, anxious that he safeworded, or it can be comfort for anything! Just lots of Fang and Frenchie working together v well and in sync to take care of their scrungly little man <3
Summary: Frenchie and Fang notice Izzy isn't sleeping well. They want to do something about that.
Fluffy Hut/comfort with some mild discussion of trauma (canon typical)
Note: I love this! I'm going to save the safeword comfort for another story because this is the story that jumped out at me when I read your beautiful prompt.
This is unedited right now. I might come back and clean it up later but for the moment my focus is on getting the writing flowing.
Music inspo for this fic is Rosy Golan's It's Been a Long Day
Fang found Frenchie organizing goods in the hold. He knew it was still weird for Bonnets crew to see Frenchie and Jim doing so much work, but Fang was honestly pleased to see that neither of them were backsliding into laziness. If anything, their hard work was rubbing off on the others.
“Hey, man. How’re things going?” Fang asked.
Frenchie startled but settled into a smile when he realized it was only fang. “Good, yeah. Things are good. Just, you know, keepin’ busy.”
“And everything’s good with the mind box?” Fang asked, gesturing vaguely at his head.
“Yeah, good. It’s good. Everything is you know…” Frenchie trailed off as he looked into the distance.
“Good?”
“Yes. Yeah. Exactly.” Frenchie said, brightening back up.
Fang decided to leave that alone for now. “Listen, have you seen Izzy recently?”
“Saw him this morning, why?”
“Did you notice that he looked a little… unwell?” Fang asked.
Frenchie scoffed. “What do you mean? He looks loads better than he did before. He’s got his new leg on, he’s clean, and he doesn’t even have any visible bruises.”
“That is true,” Fang hedged. “It’s only, I don’t think he’s sleeping much. To me, it looks like he hasn’t slept in a few days.
Frenchie looked considering. “Hmm, now that you mention it. I did see him practicing his sword fighting really early this morning, and Wee John said he was working real late last night.”
“I guess I’m just worried about him. The rest of us don’t sleep good at all, and we agreed he’s the most fucked up of all of us, so it must be worse for him.” Fang said, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice.
“Yeah, but its not so bad now that the crew is back because if one of us wakes up from a nightmare another crew person is always right there.” A moment of realization seemed to dawn on Frenchie. “Except Izzy doesn’t sleep in the crew pile. He sleeps alone. In the room where Blackbeard took his first toe. Oh shit, babes. Can’t say I blame him.”
Fang felt a blush creep up his neck at the nickname. He absolutely did not let himself giggle. Frenchie calls everyone that. He wasn’t flirting with fang. Besides, Fang was supposed to be solving the Izzy problem. “I wish we could just convince him to join us in the pile, but I don’t think he’d ever go for that.”
“I mean, he has loosened up a lot lately, but that might be a step to far. What if we brought the pile to him?” Frenchie asked.
“I don’t think that’s better. If anything, he’d be mad there was no one watching the deck.”
“No, I meant you and me. We could go to his room tonight and force him to sleep and tell him we’ll watch out for him,” Frenchie suggested.
Fang considered this. Actually, it made sense. Izzy wouldn’t really trust the rest of Bonnet’s crew, Archie and Jim had a particular energy about them. One that wasn’t conducive to a full night’s rest.
Fang agreed and they made plans to meet at Izzy’s room later.
….
Izzy sat heavily on his bed. He knew he needed to take off his hoof and check his leg, but he couldn’t make himself move. He was exhausted. Mentally, physically, emot—nope. Just mentally and physically. He was having trouble sleeping. That was all. He couldn’t sleep because they were heading into a new season and the sun cycles were changing. It was all to be expected. He’d adjust. He would.
Izzy was startled from his thoughts when he heard a knock at his door. Before he could respond, the door opened, and Fang and Frenchie spilled into the room.
“Oh, yes, please do come in. Thank you for knocking. It was very considerate of you,” Izzy said sarcastically. Though he knew that his words lacked their usual edge.
“Hi boss,” Fang said, brightly, “We were hoping to spend the night in here with you.” Frenchie was nodding in agreement.
Exhausted, Izzy asked, “Why? There are plenty of places on the ship if you’re too cold to sleep on deck.”
Frenchie said, “Yeah, but the thing is that Fang here has been having nightmares, and he said he hasn’t been feeling safe enough to sleep lately.”
Frenchie jabbed Fang with his elbow and Fang said, “Oh yeah! Everything that happened just keeps coming back to me. And I thought ‘hey what place is safer on this ship, than with Izzy Hands?’”
The crack of a cannon, a flash of lighting, the glint of light on a saw, and the smell of gunpowder flashed through Izzy’s mind in quick succession. His stomach rolled and he clenched his jaw.
“I’m a cripple now boys. You’re better off with just about anyone else on this ship. Hell, you’d be better off on your own. I’m a liability now.” Izzy didn’t like how truthful the words were, but he was just too tired to cover it up.
Fang frowned, “Boss, you literally saved our lives. You understand that, right? We would be dead without you. Lying at the bottom of sea.”
Izzy scoffed but didn’t argue he didn’t have the energy. He also really didn’t have the energy to watch over them tonight. It was on his tongue to say no when the image of a scene he walked into popped into his head. Fang crying into his cake and Frenchie staring blankly, emptily into the distance. And then, bizarrely, the feeling of Fang’s arms around him and Frenchie’s palm, warm in his.
“Okay, you can stay here. I’ll make sure you’re safe,” Izzy said. He couldn’t tell them that this room had long since been safe, but he thought he could probably make it safe for Fang just for tonight.
“Great!” Fang exclaimed and then immediately went over to Izzy’s dresser. “Frenchie help me with this.” The two began dragging the dresser across the floor.
“What the fuck?” Izzy asked incredulously.
Frenchie explained, “We’re blocking the door with the dresser, so no one can get in. This way, you don’t have to stay up all night.”
“I thought the whole point was that you needed me so you could feel safe,” Izzy said, suddenly feeling useless despite not wanting that responsibility only minutes before.
“This is just the first defence, boss. This way if Blac—Someone tries to come in, we’ll hear them and you’ll be ready to protect us,” Fang said.
“And if there’s a fire?”
Frenchie laughs, “A fire? We’re on the ocean. We’re literally surrounded by water.”
Izzy sighs deeply. “There are so many things wrong with that I don’t know where to start.” The thing was though. In Izzy’s 35 years at sea, he’d only really had to deal with one major fire. Fire wasn’t what kept him up at night. In fact, just seeing the door blocked by that heavy hunk of wood was settling something in him he didn’t care to examine. “Fine. If it makes you feel safer.”
Izzy began the arduous process of removing his peg leg. Before he could even get the straps undone, Fang was by his side.
“Let me help you with that, Izzy.”
Izzy growled, “I’m a cripple not an invalid.”
“He knows that,” Frenchie said. “Helping you will make him feel better, innit? Don’t you want Fang to feel better?”
Izzy huffed but didn’t move to stop Fang as he eased the false leg off and placed it to the side. Fang loosened the tie on Izzy’s pant leg and pulled the leg up his thigh. Izzy wished he had some semblance of embarrassment about this, but the four of them had seen Izzy in every stage of loosing his leg so it wasn’t like he could say it would be a shock for Fang.
Frenchie brought over Izzy’s water basin and said, “Here you go, babes.”
Abruptly, Izzy took in the scene before him. Fang, kneeling on the ground, about to wash Izzy’s stump, while Frenchie watched. Heat creeped up his neck and he felt a bit woozy. This was too intimate. He was too vulnerable. He needed to put a stop to this. He was about to do just that when Fang began gently dragging the cloth across the raw skin.
Izzy’s eyes fluttered shut. When he did this for himself, he was impatient and rough. It had always hurt. Now, with Fang being careful, it didn’t feel good exactly, but it was nothing like the pain he was used to.
“It’s looking better. Does the new leg fit better? You don’t have as many cuts and wounds.” Frenchie asked.
Izzy tamped down on the flare of emotion that burst in him at the mention of that fucking leg. He didn’t think he could speak without his voice cracking, so he just nodded in reply.
Fang smiled up at him and said, “That’s great, Izzy. Glad to hear.”
“You know,” Frenchie said frowning, “Your thigh muscles are looking really tense. Maybe I should just…” As he trailed off, he reached over to grasp at Izzy’s thigh.
Izzy made it through approximately thirty seconds of Frenchie massaging his thigh before he felt a lance of heat in his groin. He jerked back and choked out, “That’s enough. Thank you. I think it’s time to sleep now.”
Frenchie gave him an odd look but didn’t argue. Izzy was honestly shocked that he had felt anything even approaching arousal. He wasn’t sure it was going to possible for him after the Kraken.
Frenchie took the spot next to the wall and Izzy waited for Fang to get in. When he didn’t, Izzy looked at him quizzically.
“If it’s okay with you, boss, I’d rather take the outside. I find it more comfortable, and I get hot easily,” Fang said.
Izzy wanted to argue. Wasn’t the whole point of being here to make fang feel safer? Shouldn’t Izzy be closest to the door so he could spring into action if necessary? Izzy wanted to argue. He really did. But he was so tired. He just didn’t have it in him. His body, without full permission from him, crawled in next to Frenchie.
The bed wasn’t that comfortable for one person, never mind three, but somehow, they made it work. Izzy didn’t protest when Fang’s arms slid around him. There wasn’t really another way to make it work. Frenchie’s head rested against his shoulder and Izzy found he couldn’t really complain about that either.
Izzy was warm, his body was pressed against on both sides, there was no way someone could barge through that door, and he could finally feel himself drifting off to sleep.
Just before he slipped off, he heard Fang’s gentle voice. “You know, Frenchie, that mind box won’t hold forever.”
Izzy felt Frenchie shift against him, could feel the protest coming. In a raspy, sleep filled voice, Izzy said, “He’s right. Just look at me. I thought I had everything locked up tight. Eventually, something has to give.”
Frenchie laid a hand against Izzy’s chest in acknowledgement.
In that same quiet voice, Fang said, “I’m here for you if you need to talk, Frenchie.” Then Fang gave Izzy a squeeze that felt a lot like ‘you too, Izzy’.
No more words were said that night. Instead, Izzy fell into a blissfully uninterrupted sleep.
#Fang/Frenchie/Izzy#A new ship name has been suggessted#Kitty bites#let's see if it catches on!#ouizzy#Frenchie/fang#Fang/Izzy#izzy hands
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Lost Girl
Summary: Scarlet was left in charge of you, obviously it hasn't gone well and Wanda's just returned home
Words: 1,060
Warnings: 18+ even though its not that bad but yeah 18+, swearing errr not much else maybe an innuendo or two
"Wanda do you know where Y/n is?" Scarlet had walked through the whole house looking for you and came up empty, she was slightly worried, you've never been away from them for long "are you telling me you've lost Y/n?" Wanda glared at the witch in front of her as she entered the house "I left you alone for 4 hours? How do you lose a woman?!"
"you forget the cherish her?" She smirked a little making the brunette roll her eyes "you're not funny" she walked past Scarlet and made a beeline for your game room "did you check the game room?!" Wanda shouted behind her with the other witch running after her "that was the first place I checked!"
Wanda opened the door and immediately stepped back "Jesus she needs to clean this place theres food and energy drinks all over the floor!" Wanda started wondering around the room which you clearly weren't in but she felt compelled to start cleaning up "Wanda we don't have time for this! Our girlfriend is missing!"
"You're the one that lost her! You go looking for her while I burn everything in here"
Suddenly the door opened and the pair ran through the house to the door to see you standing there with a bag of food and a few new stuffies in your other hand "why are you guys so red? Did you play without me?? Because thats so not cool you know I like joining in, or at least watching so I can give Scar pointers"
Scarlet breathed a huge sigh of relief and fell to the floor "fuck me Y/n why did you run off?"
"I didn't run off, I clearly came into the office and said 'hey Scar I'm going out for McDonalds do you want anything and I'll be back in an hour" you closed the door behind you with your hips, since your hands were preoccupied, then Wanda took the bag of food from you placing it on the counter "I thought we agreed on no more junk food?" she said and you just shrugged "I felt like I deserved it"
Scarlet was still on the floor trying to calm herself down but raised her head to look at you "she's been in your gaming room"
The colour drained from your face knowing exactly what that meant "okayyy-"
Wanda shushed you and picked you up placing you on the counter "you told me you were keeping that room clean, now I don't like to pry so I trusted you to keep it clean, so why isn't it?"
You refused to say anything instead shrugging and lowering your head but Wanda wasn't having it "ah ah ah princess" she lifted your head up to look at her "now you're going to clean the room and make it spotless, and well in the mean time Scar and I will be enjoying ourselves without you, got it?"
The redhead on the floor finally lifted herself up and looked to Wanda "okay but like I'm meeting Nat in an hour for a little stealth mission thing so could we reschedule the "punishment fun" later or tomorrow if I'm too tired tonight?"
Wanda glared at the witch "I'm trying to punish her here and you're not helping"
"But Nat will kill me if I don't go, and she's as scary in this universe as she was in my own"
Wanda groaned "okay! Fine" she looked back at you "you don't get to cum for week"
You gasped "that isn't fair! All because my personal gaming room is a mess? I clean this whole house once a week doesn't that make up for anything??"
Wanda pretended to think about it for a little bit "nope! Now go on, clean the room while I make dinner"
You jumped off the counter but pointed to the bag of food "what about the McDonalds?"
"Scarlet can take it for her on Nat on the mission, you're having beef stew" she handed the bag to Scar "oh hell yeah! Nat will love it"
You jumped off of the counter mumbling to yourself and Wanda stopped you "if you clean I'll let you have ice cream later"
"Hmm okay then" you left without another word to go and clean leaving the witches alone.
"That was harsh Wands"
"I'll make it up to her later" Wanda took a burger out of the bag biting into it "this is good, shame she wont have it for a while"
Scarlet laughed "wow, and I thought I was evil, maybe you should have the black fingertips"
Wanda nodded "I don't think they'd go with my nails"
Both women talked for a while until a large shout got their attention, it was you, "what the hell was that?" Scar said but Wanda was already up the stairs to your room "Y/n what happened?!"
You were lay on the floor with your eyes closed "I saw a spider and collapsed, I can't continue on to clean with a spider around"
Wanda was flabbergasted "what in the fuck does that even mean?? You hang around with Peter and Nat"
You shrugged "and?"
"You aren't scared of spiders Y/n now get up and clean!" Wanda left the room leaving you groaning and getting up "its not even that bad"
Scarlet picked up a bag peering inside "this chicken is green and smells"
"Yeah okay I guess that's pretty gross" you agreed taking the bag from her and throwing it in the bin "go on and enjoy your mission"
Scarlet brought you into hug and kissed you "my love, you clean this room and I'll let you come with Nat and I on our next mission, okay?"
"Hell yeah! Do you think Wanda would let me?"
Scarlet laughed "no, no she won't but we won't tell her will we?"
You smirked "you're so sneaky babe"
"Yeah well, you already can't cum for a week what else could she do?"
You thought about it and yeah she couldn't do anything to you but Scar on the other hand "what if she does the same to you?"
The witch snorted "please, she wouldn't be able to stay away from me for more than a few days, I'm too irresistible"
"More like pestering" you mumbled and Scarlet just laughed "yes yes I am but you both love it"
#marvel#mcu#MCU#marvel imagine#marvel drabble#marvel AU#marvel fanfiction#wanda marvel#wanda maximoff#wanda maximov#wanda maximoff x reader#marvel au#the scarlet witch x reader x wanda maximoff#the scarlet witch x wanda maximoff#the scarlet witch x reader#the scarlet witch imagine#the scarlet witch
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I'm back and I'm so sorry! I won't make any promises for the last 2 ep of the Winchesters, but I will be reviewing/rewatching them anyways just ... who knows when, I dont!
But let's get started on You've got a Friend 1x11.
I hopefully will be a bit less rambly since O have a draft of my thoughts already written for this and its less... as Im watching (i can post that too if yall wanna but dunno if ull understand my handwriting)
We begin where we left off and I love that we have this scene of them needing to clean up, adds realism, adds dimension to the world. Love also that we begin with Lata being the Lata we all love - dejected in this case about her chimera paw was ruined. Queue Carlos with the teasing. The 2 of em banter a bit before Mary redirects us all to the matter at hand.
And Mary has come a long way in these episodes, because she may not join the banter (still closed off somewhat as opposed to Carlos and Lata's easy repartee) but she is going off of it and adding them into her area of interest.
But all stops when John come in blood soaked and in shock - Mary instantly worried he might be hurt, but nope, not this time.
I am so happy to see them portray the actual shock and numbness John is feeling, then the guilt and sadness, just all the reaction to Kyle's death really. And considering the survivor's guilt John is lugging around, it makes it even more heartbreaking. I also love seeing that Mary is the level headed one here - she,.imo, is clearly pushing down the grief to focus on John's issues here, hell we see very little of her grieving in this episode and everytime we do, she's quick to redirect that feeling into action - sometimes into violence point blank. She does it here, asking what the Akrida could want, she does it even moreso with Millie, where she does open up a bit since Millie is offering comfort, but then it turns into Millie coming with a plan which directly leads to Mary wanting to storm the police station guns blazing and the ep ends with Mary and John discussing Kyle (also god Mary looks absolutely exhausted here, fuck) but Mary derails it by saying they need to find Dean instead. She's def not allowing herself the moment to deal with Kyle's death which may prove relevant when discussing next episode.
I'd forgotten this ep was the Lata episode. Like ep 8 was Carlos', this one is Lata's. And god does it hurt.
1st, move the feather boa, Carlos!
2nd, I do genuinely believe Lata and Maggie were together. Everything in this episode points that way to me (but especialy the sweetpea nickname) We'll round back to this though.
The other thing we note in the sequence in Maggie's room is how close Carlos and Lata are to each other. Which we knew, but I always love seeing it again in action.
Before we continue with the emotional core of this ep, we have to get back to plot with Betty! I love Betty..I also can't blame her for being ....hesitant to say the least. Like imagine what she's seen so far: the guy who, before leaving to the marines illegally, proposed to her, is suddently interacting with, apparently, imfamous Mary Campbell, who is seen at several murder/investigation scenes suddenly appears ro have killed someone? And she already knows John had anger issues before hand. Like i get her here. And still shes trying to be nice while doing her job.
Which leads me to the next part, her job. So the detective... he's wording (even with him being really Akrida) echoes a lot of corrupt cop rethoric which only gets further emphasized when he later threatens to have John... killed 'accidently'. And, on top of them, speaking pf policw corruption even a 'good cop' like Betty becomes complicit simply because of the power the Akrida gained via the detective role cuz she was unwittingly helping them throughout.
But god, was John a bit too cocky here. (My notes have this marked as "this is why you let villains monologue, John!"). Especially since he actually doesn't have any info on Dean. (Love that we see the pic of Dean, missed him) l.
Meanwhile Lata and Carlos have found the bracelet and it's fucked them over. Also, I fucking hate the shadows thing, very creepy. Also also it reminds me of the daeva that Meg uses in s1 of SPN. I'm also reminded of SPN with the story the detective tells John about how they'll get rid of him - SPN's own crooked cop ep featured exactly this sorta plan too, but in killing Dean.
Really though, the main thing I found interesting upon rewatch is just how much Lata is our Dean mirror in this one. Specifically, in getting targeted by the bracelet she's forced to relive a trauma (Sania's death) via Carlos acting as substitute, only this time she succeeds where prior she thought she failed (which lemme make clear, no, Lata was at no point and in no way at fault, but she did internalize that guilt - much like Dean tends to internalize guilt) . Which Dean, much like Lata ends up doing when getting involved with this universe, ends up reliving a trauma (his parents death - Mary especially) of something he failed, in his mind, to prevent/save via rescuing this universe's Mary. And much like Lata, who can't undo what happened to Sania, but can "begin to make it better" (the Hey Jude line just hit me so I had to use it), so too can Dean. It won't change what happened in his life, wont save his mom, but it will help him heal nonetheless.
Adding to this Maggie? Who opperates as a Cas parallel here - she was Lata's person, who shared everything with Lata but Lata couldn't in turn for fear of judgement/shame, who notably is dead and thus Lata can't ever reveal her secret to. Well, it hurts is what it does.
But watching this I noticed another interesting thing though, for all that the bracelet seems to work like Osiris (pulling on the guilt the person feels is most agregious), the bracelet actually seems to want the wearer to get out. Carlos is taken just as Lata begins wondering which secret it's trying to make her face and is sent to Sania's room - direct answer. Then later,.even more blatant, using Maggie's face, tries to get Lata to disclose the secret, but Lata talks around it instead til the creature takes her too.
It seems like Erebus had a test for his warriors, one he wanted them to win.
Throughout all of Lata's story, I was seething. I truly hate her family and Carlos was 100% saying exactly what I was thinking.
Another thing I appreciated though, about Carlos, is the emotional maturity. Yes they were dying and yes it was urgent that Lata disclose her secret but Carlos made certain to reassure her throughout. Tried to give her as much space as possible.
In other thoughts, Lata's mom making that "vs family" distinction, uuuh it rattled sth in me only to them have Lata say "my parents would never look at m the same way"? In the Dean Winchester show? God, the echoes of John's shitty parenting were deafening. Bur yes to eveything Carlos said. It truly wasnt Lata's fault.
And I adore also the ending conversation between Lata and Carlos (both wearing blue and god I want Carlos' coat) because yes, this kind of stuff shouldn't be forced out on anither persons whim. Lata doesn't have to tell John and Mary anything, it is her story to tell, but also yes, Carlos is right to reassure her that if she wants to share it with them, they'll likely react well like he did. And yes the reason this particular scene hit so hard is partially personal, but because of that it drove me insane in SPN where there was a tendency for people to push other to open up at their own whim (and yes, Sam did it often to mutiple people, hounding them until they cracked and spilled whatever trauma they were trying to deal with but then have nothing to give in return, no comfort or even really reaction, and yes he most of all did it to Dean a lot and it did puss me off) So yea, love this episode for the Lata and Carlos of it all!
Also I have a few questions, when Millie was trying to convince Betty about the supernatural, at one point she said "it's not like-" and cut off. She was trying to defend against the accusation of 'playing make believe). Also, Betty says sth like "Mary, I expected.this from" with relation once more to her not believing in monsters soooo.... has Mary ever been taken in under suspicion of being delusional? Was Millie? Or John?! I've questions ok i need y'alls opinions on this one.
Also, I would've soo cracked if the Akrida asked about Dean, cuz I def miss him a lot and id fucking gush about him at that point.
Anyways, that's it for this one. See you guys next time where we'll be clowning (have I mentioned I hate clowns?)
@noybusiness thanks for push earlier this month, i needed that a lot and thanks for the support for this rewatch ❤
@shallowseeker thanks the new posts, been inspiring me to get back to writing this ❤
#spnwin#spnwin rewatch#spnwin 1x11#also yea it wasnt much shorter than my usual#which is a problem since it fucking 3.30am here and ive work tomorrow#oh well#it was fun tho
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Danganronpa 3: Future arc episode 3.
Back to... This.
I regret everything.
.... It was fake....
She's alive!
I dunno whether to be more mad or relieved.
So she's alive but still hurt?
... Nope it's a toy knife and ketchup.
Fuck you guys I got scared.
... Wait whys everyone scared?
GOZU!
NOOOO!!!
My boi!
The fucking emotional whiplash and I've just started this.
Oh they strung him up and oh... Oh fuck.
Of course it's one of the people who was sweet and I liked.
And it makes sense why him of all people.
But still!
Everyone going through it I mean a fake body, and than a real body.
Were they trying to kill Gozu and Asahina? But they can only kill one so that... happened?
Why the red herring?
Makoto hun it's not you're fault.
Kyoko instantly sus of the director. As she should be.
Asahina being the one who's pumped up and ready to go.
But Makoto not so much, it's like they switched moods.
Thank you Monomi for the exposition dump.
Okay so this was designed to be an overseas branch of Hope's Peak.
That later became what it is now.
Also we can just call it the Incident or the tragedy, we don't need to say the full name everytime.
It's a mouthful.
Wait so this means Makoto had ketchup on his hand how did he not notice?
... No yeah that situation was traumatic as fuck it makes sense it took a while.
"No one diess on my watch."
Oh Makoto...its just the beginning.
And yeah he figured out Miaya's forbidden action.
She can't go right.
Which is so random compared to "no running" and "witnessing violence" but fair.
Makoto easing her nerves by sharing his forbidden action with her.
It's dangerous but that's how you build trust in others.
People may think Makoto's preachy but he means everything he says.
And Asahina joining in only adds to that
"Be hit with a punch or a kick"... she's come close.
Way to close.
I love seeing Asahina confident, ready for whatever comes. It's so her and it's nice to see that again.
Hmm... Someone's here...
"I'll lead them off."
"With what, power walking?"
See that's how insults work guys.
Asahina be safe!
And Miaya's going with her.
Which is great but now Makoto is alone.
Makoto who is on everyone's hit list.
... Oh boy..
Seiko is... Pissed.
Yasuhiro is still on roof outside, oh man. He has no idea what's going on inside.
Shame, he could've gotten help but those missles(?) won't let him go.
Kyoko might be older and more polite, but she's still Kyoko.
I like seeing her way, Makoto is in a group that easily shares his weaknesses.
But Kyoko is with those who are guarded, and thus she is also guarded.
Makes sense.
I can't trust you if you don't trust me.
Makoto announcing Gozu's death as "bad news" just makes me laugh.
And finally he gets to explain himself.
Makoto meeting Izuru just a wild concept.
The manufactured hope and the one born of hope.
You know when you think of how Makoto was in a killing game.
Saw how own classmates kill each other.
But still saw goodness, still saw hope in them.
Would later reflect on the memories that were stolen from them that they had shared.
It makes a lot of sense in retrospect why he can see the Remnants as people rather than monsters.
Because he's seen what despair does to a person.
What it can drive them to.
He couldn't save his friends, but maybe he could save them.
In a way I feel like he did it because he wanted to help, because he saw good, saw hope in them.
But maybe also to atone in some way?
They all suffered under the hands of Junko Enoshima.
He had the means to help them he hadn't had before.
It makes sense why did the things he did.
Whether people agree is a whole other story but I'm glad he got to tell it.
Maybe sharing your weakness with people trying to kill you is a bad idea.
But if he wants people to have faith in him, to trust him.
It's a danger you have to take. And one he's willing to do so.
He knows how these things work afterall.
Kyoko's smile after he does so though. Because she knows him, she's knows he would do what's right.
She's not suprised at all.
"Lamest speech I've ever heard in my life."
No asked for your option Juzo!
Also fuck off Munakata.
Makoto knows true despair.
He went to class with them.
Badum tss
He's fallen to the bottom. Both figuratively and literally and bought himself back up to the top.
You're the one who's superficial.
You're the one who says they fight for hope, despite already succumbing and dooming yourself and others into despair.
Juzo not being mad at being left behind but instead saying "go for it big guy."
Idk if its just me but that sure sounded flirty.
... Is Seiko okay?
Soo Ruruka and Seiko seem like they have history.
Okay Seiko's on... Something.
I'm sus of the director but yeah that's Makoto alright.
He believes in what he says, doesn't mean he doesn't know how crazy it sounds.
... Fucking hell someone just threw a chair at Kyoko.
She's fine though.
Looks pissed but she's okay.
Ugh Juzo.
And Munakata's got to Makoto.
Fuck.
Makoto I love you and I get your vibe but there's a time for words and a time to goo.
I don't think you can talk down a murderous Munakata with a sword.
Even you're not that good.
I know it was a killing game but saying Makoto only won because it was a game.
Is fucked.
Also Makoto was supposed to lose that "game", do you not remember the 5th trial?
If Alter Ego wasn't in the system, Makoto would've died in his execution.
How is that not real enough for you?
Also saying that Makoto only won than cos the rules were vague and here they are cut and dry.
But also saying your words and attitude mean nothing because the real world has no rules.
Pick a lane man.
Also yes the real world does have rules.
"You don't know the hell we've put ourselves through to keep people alive."
Not specifically in your case but... He knows the feeling.
Very much so.
It's kinda his whole thing.
You guys need therapy not a sword and a chair.
Of course Makoto believes in his words, to him they aren't hollow. And they've gotten him this far.
Munakata for all your posturing, don't realise you're in the exact same game that you ridicule Makoto for.
Your a hypocrite.
"Exactly. If anyone can do it is you. Which is why I can't allow you to escape.
Your hollow words may spurr people forward, heaven knows to what."
... Boy you got issues.
Ah yes I will kill to destroy despair.
... Where have I heard that before.
Fucking hell.
Okay I will say "how unfortunate, too bad this wasn't a class room trial" is a cool line.
But also fuck you.
#danganronpa 3: the end of hope's peak high school#Danganronpa#makoto naegi#kyosuke munakata#juzo sakakura#kyoko kirigiri#miaya gekkogahara#aoi asahina#ryota mitarai#long post
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The dark season is nice for some, but quite hard for others.
To tackle this, we're launching once again this year's "Secret Helpers" and everyone is invited to join in!
How does it work?
It's very simple!
Choose 5 fan works. It doesn't matter whether they are gifs, video edits, fanarts, metas, analyses or fanfictions. Do you have something that has completely changed, inspired, destroyed or touched you? THAT'S what you need!
And now it goes on
Step 2: Write feedback to the creator of your favorite. No matter how long, how short, no matter what language, no matter if anonymous or under your official account, write what you liked and why. Jump over your shadow and let them know that this work of theirs has given you a good time.
Step 3: Spread "Secret Helpers" anonymously to others. No matter who you come across on tumblr or elsewhere on the internet, whether mutual or random, send them the instructions and let them keep spreading good news.
A lot of things are not going well lately. So we try to let those who give us a little break in the chaos know that we're glad to have them.
FAQ:
I have only seen one fan work that I liked.
- No problem, write to the person anyway.
Isn't that weird?
- Nope. (We are on the internet. Everything is kinda weird and ey, you don’t have to use your official account to send the feedback)
There. Are. TOO MANY!
- 5 is a minimum number. If you have the time, write to as many as you want, everyone will be happy to get some compliments on their work!
The creators I like are all totally unknown
- Especially for fanartists who don't get much feedback yet, each of those is worth its weight in gold. The fanfiction is amazing, but only has 2 comments? Become number 3! The fanart has 36 likes, but looks like a fucking work of art? Write that to the creator! Motivation is all babeyyy, regardless of whether it's the fandom favorite or someone completely new.
Have fun and good luck Secret Helpers!
THIS IS SUCH A LOVELY PROJECT!!!!!!!!! it's so important to spread positivity, especially to content creators who often have to deal with a lack of feedback and their works getting stolen, so im glad you gave me the chance to do this by sharing it with me, anon, thank you!!!!!!
i think that to follow the rules of the project i should probably write to the creators in private or by sending them an ask (?), but to try to give them more visibility and help them reach new people who maybe aren't familiar with their works yet, i thought i could talk a little about some of my favorites here (not that i have that many followers but you know. also for the two creators who aren't on tumblr i WILL make sure to leave them a nice comment too), so here we go!!!!!
in no particular order:
the entire vice versa web weaving series by @daymork. i tell you i wish i could have all these edits collected in one of those fancy ass art books with a hard cover that cost almost a hundred bucks just so that i could flip through it at any given moment to contemplate the beauty of said edits and cry myself to sleep holding it to my chest as i think about puentalay. i have no idea how jessi did it but every single quote she used for these is so perfect that no matter how many times i reread them they never fail to reduce me to a sobbing mess of a woman who is in dire need of receiving mental health care provided by professionals in an institutionalized setting. my point is. i love them. i love them a lot.
the quote by ocean vuong last twilight edit by @morkofday. i could literally put any of vish’s vice versa edits here because it’s like they’re all specially crafted to deal as much emotional damage as humanly possible to me personally, but in the end i decided to pick this one because, to this day, it’s still my favorite last twilight edit ever made. there's just something about it that stayed with me since i first saw it a whole year ago (im not even kidding when i say i think about it an average of twelve times per day) and even if it was done based on the mock trailer alone, vish was somehow able to perfectly capture the spirit of the show, not just by using that particular quote (which is incredibly spot on like when day and mork were talking about tenderness in episode 4 i thought of this edit right away and had to go punch through a wall to cope) but also because of the colors and the pictures that she chose.
the the man who can't be moved puentalay gifset by @seatawinans. you think episode 11 of vice versa has already reached the pinnacle of life altering emotional devastation and cathartic experience, and then you see this gifset and suddenly you find yourself decaying into subatomic particles to cope, committing grand scale larceny and arson to deal, and doing daily affirmations like 'this is affecting me a normal amount! :)' in front of the mirror every morning to survive. truly i have no words to properly express just how much the 'thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet/and you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street' lines over the glasshouse scenes make me sick in the head, it's the parallelism romanticism soulmatism of it all and somehow cassi managed to make it worse (read: better).
the underneath the stars by the cure morkday fanart by twitter user @bleu1te. i honestly love all of bleuité's puentalay and morkday works so much, there's just something so soft and tender in the way this artist draws them that every time i look at their art it gives me the same feeling of safety and comfort that i so deeply associate with these two pairings. i picked this one in particular because i fell in love with it as soon as i saw it, i love the colors, i love the starry sky behind them, i love their expressions, and most of all i love the hand placement. idk how to explain it, but i think the way they're touching just really conveys how much they adore each other.
the enchanted by taylor swift morkday video by twitter user @jimmyseagatitos. you know when someone punches you in the stomach and it hurts so much that you just start laughing hysterically? this is the closest description i can give to try to explain what this video did to me on a psychological emotional spiritual mental and physical level. and because apparently im a masochist i've been rewatching it only like 92649626 times in the span of three days. i also think it's pretty damn genius to end the edit on the 'i'll spend forever wondering if you knew' line of the song because it leaves everything unspoken just what mork never got to say.
this is obviously very far from being a comprehensive list (especially since my memory is pretty bad and my main interests are currently very limited ;;;;), so for the next couple of weeks i will try to reach out to my favorite creators (in private this time, i promise) and give them some love!!!!! and if anyone sees this, please consider doing it too!!!!!
#im not good at writing comments and i should have probably waited to do this on a day where i felt better about my english and my words but#i know myself and i would end up procrastinating this so i still wanted to try to do something#i've also never done something like this so please let me know if i did something wrong!!!!#secret helpers#m: ask#last twilight the series#vice versa
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Arguably, there are few things that we would call an indisputable canon in the Addams Family:
- they are close, loving and very supportive family unit
- Gomez and Morticia are madly in love
- they love all things macabre
- they are not afraid of violence, death, dying, fighting etc. (Yes, yes I'm still salty about that bullshit swordfighting scene in Netflix's Wednesday)
And of course, Christina Ricci pretty much established what is perceived as canon for the character of Wednesday Addams.
Other than that? There's not much set in stone. Continuity? Please, TAF wouldn't know continuity if it stepped on it, things are all over freaking ship, so it's very likely that, as a fan, you will love some iterations of Addams Family and hate others, that is completely normal, not all content is created for you. Let's accept that.
At this point, with the success of Netflix Wednesday this fandom reached its, arguably, largest audience. Whether you hate or love the new show, is irrelevant - it's success is indisputable, and it brought a lot of new fans, often completely new generation of fans who will interact with the Addams Family in a completely new and different way than you or me or Jerry next door.
Does it irk you that creators and more and more fans focus on Morticia solely as a mother figure? Yeah, it irks me too, no really, it annoys the hell out of me but at the same time... it's my freaking problem not anyone else's, the least of all the new fans, and allow me to explain why:
How we react to any given character is deeply, deeply personal. We come to the show with our own, unique set of experiences and those experiences will largely inform which characters we're going to relate to and what those character will mean to us. It can be and, very very often is, completely irrelevant to canon.
So say, each iteration of Mortcia is slightly or even vastly different from the other but some people will inevitably see her as a surrogate mother figure (or Gomez and Morticia as dream parents, whatever) and there can be a number of reasons for that, maybe some folks just didn't have great parents, maybe they had no parents, maybe... whatever - it doesn't matter, they are allowed to see that character as parent figures even if others don't.
Do I see Morticia as a mother figure? Nope. Never did, never will, although she's a fantastic mother. To me personally, she was always a representation of bad ass, empowered femininity - a strong female role model. I adored her since I was about 6 or 8 years old but she was never a mother figure to me. I love how she's happy and content in her role as a wife and a mother - that's her thing, she adores her family and that's where her focus is and she's absolutely unapologetic about it. She's like a really awesome, badass housewife, she's telling you to do you, irregardless what the current trends for women in society are, but especially, at the time when women were told to have it all blah blah blah, and being a housewife was all but frowned upon - Morticia's like no thank you, fuck that shit (except those odd times when she wants to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade). And I always loved that, to me she exemplified the true meaning of feminism - the right to chose whatever the hell you want to do in life as a woman. Career woman? Go girl. Housewife? Awesome, if that's what makes you happy.
Where am I going with all this?
Bottom line, do you want to ship Wenclair - hon, ship them to your heart content if that's what brings you joy or helps you feel represented.
Do you want to ship Gomez and Morticia ? - bless your little, tender heart, join the club!
You want Morticia to be your surrogate mother - go ahead, enjoy!
Do you want those characters to be the representation of your experience as a gay, trans, neurodivergent person? - baby, go for it. Especially if it helps you go through some really tough shit.
Yes, your personal fanon might disagree with mine, it might even piss me off - I might hate everything about it and secretely bitch about it to likeminded fandom members, and I do. I might hate your take on the Addams Family altogether - but remember! that's not your problem, it's mine. You do you, whoever you are.
#The addams family#morticia addams#netflix wednesday#wenclair#Gomez x Morticia#Personal opinions#wednesday addams
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For the CR Spell Hurt/Comfort: 18 Zone of Truth, Laudna and Imogen.
ANOTHER TWOFER:
18. Zone of Truth
"You create a magical zone that guards against deception in a 15-foot-radius sphere centered on a point of your choice within range. Until the spell ends, a creature that enters the spell's area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there must make a Charisma saving throw. On a failed save, a creature can't speak a deliberate lie while in the radius. You know whether each creature succeeds or fails on its saving throw."
[OK SO THIS IS ZONE OF TRUTH, but I just had Jester appear in my head and say ‘you know what would be fun? TRUTH,,, OR DARE’ and its good practice to listen to the brain Jester.]
They’re the last ones standing.
Which is really so astounding? At least that she and Imogen are still upright - Ashton is Ashton, so it makes sense.
Fearne and Chetney are passed out in a corner, and Laudna isn’t sure who is sitting on who. Orym got the bed because he had, very wearily, said he was going to bed because we had to be up early tomorrow (he had to be up early to do squats). But half the party’s other guests - friends of his, and Fearne’s, and Dorian’s - all piled in after him. They were fun - the pink-and-gooey one especially (Twinsies!).
Letters could not join in person, and so had been drinking in front of his webcam in a Discord call. Which was less fun, but fun enough to get them to gush about their new boyfriend. So cute.
The lady who lived upstairs - Keyleth somethingorother - had checked on them and offered them some 3am tater tots, which sent almost everyone else calling an Uber home while the greasy carbs. Which left them three and one more bottle of vodka.
Three, taking up the hallway’s hardwood floor and fewer pillows than they’d like on account of all the casualties. It means Imogen leans her sleepy weight into Laudna. She’s got hips almost as pointy as Laudna’s, but her arms are the perfect give of farm muscle looped around her shoulders, warm.
Pate wiggles a bit on Imogen’s thigh, using it as a seat. He’s completely trashed, and without sipping a single drop! The animal!
“- I’m telling you,” Ashton snarls (not at them, but in general. Ashton does that. Still, Imogen goes tense), “spin the bottle fucking sucks when you’re not a big group. You should have played it while everyone was still conscious.”
Laudna keeps her shrug light to not dislodge Imogen. “Well,” she says, “Pate hadn’t thought of it until now!”
“Maybe some other game, darlin’?” Imogen asks her neck. It’s easy to nod in agreement when she asks like that.
Ashton huffs. “Fine, then. Truth or dare, because we won't see this much vodka again for a while.” They smile, just a jagged thing, when Laudna claps in delight. “Right - you. Truth or dare?”
“Truth!”
“Did you - for real - actually make the little guy? Not a thrift find?”
Laudna bobs her head agreeably. The arms around her neck twitch, like this was offensive. Which is silly. “Nope! Pate is all mine. Do we all drink regardless?”
“Sure, why not.”
She grins, the sort that usually makes everyone wince. Maybe it’s all the drinking, but neither of her companions so much as flinch as she takes a sip and smacks her lips triumphantly. This far in, it hardly burns on the way down. Laudna cranes her neck to find Imogen, face impassive. “Imogen - truth or dare?”
--
It all - it’s hard to describe. Not blur, that would be too… soft, she thinks? It smudges, maybe. Or decomposes, gets reborn a ways down the food chain.
That sounds better, because it’s different. The truths are deeper, dug out of feet of soil in the chest. The dares are - well it’s mostly around finishing the vodka. Or seeing if they can get away with messing with their friends without waking them up. Laudna is very proud of the popsicle stick house she’s built on Chetney’s chest. He’ll like it!
“This ain’t too fun with only three of us either,” Imogen mumbles. She brightens a little and tilts her chin down. “Oh - Pate! Truth or dare?”
He taps his little beak. “Hmmm… for you, babe, I’ll go with a dare.”
Ashton groans, “Fuck - don’t soak the rat in alcohol.”
Imogen leans back. In the dim light of the hallway, and their phones, her irises look like hellebore. Maybe hollyhock? Hyacinth?
“Kiss Ashton,” she says simply. Like it’s simple - poor Pate has a beak, he has no lips to kiss with! But - no. Ashton narrows his eyes, as Pate wiggles in anticipation, and gives him a gentle peck on the fuzzy head.
“Hm - al’ight,” says Pate, and the odd tension of the moment is broken. Laudna might be a bit too drunk for her own good. Even Pate sounds like he’s slurring his words: “Imogen! Truth or dare?”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s not sportin’ to ask the person who asked you. But sure - truth.”
Before Pate can get a squeak in, Ashton sets the bottle of vodka down. At… something in the morning, it’s loud.
“You haven’t answered truth to one of my questions,” they point out. “But always to Laudna’s. And Pate’s, now. What gives?”
Imogen narrows her eyes. “What gives is that I know Laudna will not get all - all invasive, or interrogate me.”
“She’ll only ask what she knows the answer to, you mean.”
Laudna balks. “I - I don’t!” she says. Pate waves his little arms around, demanding attention.
“Ey, ey, ey! It’s ‘y turn! You two - stoppit. Right now!” Ashton and Imogen both glare down at Pate, which - which is a bit of a first, and makes him shrink back just a bit.
“We good?” Pate continues. “Right - right. Uhh, Ash’n! Truth or -”
“Truth,” they snap. Laudna gives Pate time to think.
“Uh, Okay.” What would be a - a safe question? Diffuse the tension. “Oh!” She clears her throat to let Pate speak again. “Have you ever been ‘n loooooove? C’mon, tough guy.”
Ashton takes a long drink. “No.” And another. “Right. Laudna - truth or dare?”
She opens her mouth to reply - Imogen’s hand gripping her shoulder stops her. There’s a little jump of static, from sitting on the floor for so long.
“Really?” Imogen says sweetly. “C’mon now; Ashton, you’re lyin’.”
#look i crave Angst and Conflict.#I like angry Imogen and Ashton being sometimes right sometimes wrong but either way pushing Laudna out of her comfort zone#this could be read as Imogen just starting shit. Or! as either ship. or both. I just love these characters n their dynamics#critical role#cr fanfic#campaign 3#bell's hells#critical role au#also LOOK ANOTHER MODERN AU! wowza#ashton greymoore#imogen temult#laudna#cr3#my writing#spell ask game#tw alcohol#critical role fanfiction
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Speaking of lol’ed translations and missed opportunities and devs being cruel to characters, well, Billy in FEH has a FB with Sharena where she’s all depressed and doesn’t know how to people and is sad because she doesn’t have friends (Sharena offers to be her friend), then in No Hopes Jerry the worst father alive aside from Ionius insults his own child and Leonie joins in too and there’s no pushback from anyone, not even Billy, about that. In Disengage Billy doesn’t accept compliments because he always redirects the praise back to the other person. I’m not here to merit whether this is makes them a good or bad character, I’m just baffled that such low self esteem and sadness is apparently now part of their character and the games don’t really do much to ease that except for Disengage and FEH instead of the game(s) Billy originally appears in. Does KT hate them or something?
:(
Billy not knowing how to people and learning how to people from Rhea - who pretty much doesn't know how to herself - is a funny hc I had, but hopefully for Billy, the people at GM (CoS/KoS) know how to people for two.
While I don't think Fe Fodlan was intended to showcase shit parenting, Jerry took the cake and ate it in Nopes, while Sothis is just true to herself in both games (even in Nopes tried with her battle lines).
I still think FE16!Billy, despite some snow, is TV static and cannot say "this is not what i want"/ "this is not good" or criticise or comment too harshly on events happening because 1/ Avatar problem (if the player wants to marry someone s/he cannot have her avatar dislike that person? or be incompatible with them) + 2/ Earl Grey.
Now, it would have been fascinating to have Billy be a perfect "blank" state with no sense of what's right from what's good - and the lord/path picked actually shapes them...
But here comes the snow from the TV static - despite the general cardboard appearance, Billy shows some quirks, let them be mundane like "liking to help people" or picking random junk on the floor to help, to liking making friends and, in general, liking that job the evil lizard lady gave them and the gremlin in their head (who is the so called Goddess decried in a certain path...). Billy opens up to people - thus shitting on Jerry's decision - and loves people thus helps them, even if at times it brings them ruin like running to avenge Jerry because for some reason they loved Jerry, or being pushed down a cliff by rushing to help Rhea.
Now, while FE16 tried to mumbo jumbo something about their "lack" of emotions due to Sothis's crest stone and Sothis being dormant - even if the DLC shat on this by showing Citrus, who also had a dormant gremlin inside of her, giving a wide smile something Billy isn't supposed to be able to do before Sothis wakes up - Nopes more or less explained Billy's stunted emotional state might have been caused by their pacemaker, but it also originates from how their shit dad treated them...
And kuddos (?) to Engage to depict Billy's low self-esteem ; I mean you don't develop modesty when the dad you've prepared a spectacle for calls your efforts a nuisance, you develop, imo, low self-esteem.
Granted, we all know FE16 tried to mislead its players by having red herrings and unreliable narrators some the game pushed more than others - so Billy's state, initially attributed to the red herring (rather white lizard in this case) couldn't be textually explained by anything else.
Nopes at least sheds more light on Billy than FE16 did (maybe because they thought slaughtering Rhea was "explained and justified" enough in the routes this paralogue/support are available so they didn't need to use the red herring skill?), even if FEH and Engage also do it, which makes me really annoyed because why the fuck subsequent games (and unrelated ones!) explain more about a character than said character's base game?
So I wouldn't say it's only KT's fault - fwiw in Nopes KT shed more light on Billy than FE16 ever did - but it's just FE16 being... well.
The joke that "the writing team shitting on Billy is the proof they think Billy's part Nabatean" is more and more valid with each passing day lol
#anon#replies#billy stuff#FE16#3 Nopes#poor billy#bcs they're part lizard all of their development happens in side games
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poet laureate
part 3 - [prof bucky barnes x fem!reader]
summary: dean stark has his say.
warnings: none.
a/n: in case it wasn't obvious, there will be a fourth and perhaps even a fifth installment lol. i'm not ready to let them go.
series masterlist
__
Bucky had never been given a chance to decide what he wanted in life, but staring the visage of his fears in the face, Bucky was overwhelmed by the notion that he was not ashamed to be caught kissing this woman. All along he had anticipated how horrible he would feel, were Dean Stark to find out. Indeed, he was embarrassed (especially considering where his hands had been wandering), but former-professor Barnes couldn’t muster an apology for what they had done. He didn’t want her to be punished for it–but it didn’t mean he regretted it.
“I can come back.” Stark cleared his throat, turning away to give them some modicum of privacy.
“Thanks for meeting us,” Y/n said quickly. She stood and gave Bucky space to push off the chair and join her. He frowned at her in confusion. “I asked him here,” she said softly, leaning toward him as if the person who could end her career at NYU wasn’t standing right there.
Y/n smiled. “You are going to be so many things to me. A dirty secret is not one of them.”
Bucky searched for her hand blindly and linked their fingers once he found them. She’s not ashamed. The thought almost eclipsed the dread in the pit of his stomach. Still… he stood. He clutched her hand.
“It’s good you know. In case you get questions,” Bucky said to the Dean, who leaned against the door frame.
Stark snorted. “Is this why you resigned?”
“Yes.” The admission came forward of its own volition; it wasn’t the whole of it, but when he cut it right down to the wick of why–it was because all he wanted to do was kiss the woman at the end of his arm, even if other people saw him do it. Bucky cleared his throat to steel his nerves.
“At no point were we doing this when she was my student. I didn’t develop these feelings until the Summer. It seemed inappropriate to continue with my position, knowing I intended to pursue it.”
“No, I think that was astute. I am curious why you didn’t come to me right away.”
Bucky glanced at Y/n. She smiled gently.
“Doesn’t matter, does it?” she asked. “It happened. What’s important is where we go from here.”
“Hmm.” Stark seemed to consider this deeply, removing his ostentatious glasses to rub a hand over his face.
“I don’t want her degree to be in jeopardy, and we’re both aware how it looks–”
“Okay, bud. I know you’re freaking out,” Stark said, closing the door so the conversation might stay at least somewhat confidential, “but be straight with me: did you fuck on school property?”
Bucky’s cheeks reddened. “No.”
“Did you kiss her while instructing her?”
“No.”
Dean Stark’s focus swung to Y/n. “Did he coerce you into a relationship with drugs or alcohol or… I don’t know. A puppy, or something.”
“Nope.”
“Did you do favors for her like altering her grades or write a recommendation letter in exchange for favors of a sexual nature?”
“Jesus,” she breathed. “Nothing like that. He came to my symposium with the Emily Dickinson Fellowship in Amherst. Today is the first time we’ve been on campus at the same time since. So I can help clean out his office.”
“Great. I’ve done my duty, so. Do whatever you want, but not on property. Okay?” Stark sighed. “Barnes, I’ve known you for a few years now… long enough to see that you don’t have a life outside of teaching. No offense.”
“Apt,” Bucky agreed.
“You are a good person. The fact that you resigned to get ahead of this speaks to your ethics, but I think you underestimate how much people in this program appreciate you. If you had come to me–’gee, Tony–fell in love with my mentee, what the hell do I do?’ I would’ve asked you all of these questions, word for word. And we could’ve figured out a solution which didn’t look like you had a sudden breakdown. I mean… you’re seeing your former student. No way around it. But you’re not out here plucking up freshmen. So.” Stark shrugged. “If you have an interest in finishing out the semester, or… I don’t know. Coming back in some capacity, I’ll support you.”
Bucky ran a hand through his hair in disbelief. “I–no. Thank you. I have a new job. I need to do something else for a while.”
Stark nodded. “Alright. Well. People are gonna talk. Nothing I can do about that.”
“We can take it,” Y/n said.
Stark looked between the two of them for a moment, and a genuine smile pulled at one corner of his mouth. “Poetry is dangerous, huh.”
Bucky couldn’t help but sigh. “Sure.”
“Off the record, just so I know for your adjudication. Did you leave his name on your thesis?”
“Sir–after two years of work?” She scoffed.
“I had a feeling. It’s better I ask your reasoning now than during your defense, in front of your peers and family,” Stark said.
“I mean–what answer would be acceptable to the board?” Y/n spat. “If it weren’t for Barnes, this thesis wouldn’t exist. To leave him unacknowledged would be factually inaccurate.”
“Y/n–you should’ve taken me off,” Bucky murmured. “I would’ve understood.”
She looked between the two men with an aghast expression. “No. And if interrogated by the board, I’ll tell them the same. I’m not hiding him from my work.” She squeezed Bucky’s hand so tight, he could feel her heartbeat in his palm.
“Okay. As long as you’re prepared.”
“Due respect, Dean Stark, I know what we’re up against.”
Stark shrugged. “Noted. Well. This has been illuminating,” he said with a surprising amount of peace about the whole thing, at least outwardly. “Barnes… I might suggest skipping her defense, anyway.”
Bucky looked down and nodded. “That was the plan.”
“What?” Y/n gapes at him. “This is ridiculous.”
Stark’s face turned stony. His mouth flattened into a thin line, and for just a moment, he looked like he was going to retort with something short or clipped, but… Tony Stark sat in the chair across the desk from them and crossed his ankle over his knee.
“About… fifteen years ago, now? I developed a bit of a drinking problem, after my father passed. The board put me on probation after I fell asleep behind the wheel at a stoplight. Luckily, I had had the forethought to turn the car off before passing out. Woke up thanks to a knock on my window by a campus patroller. So, my mother suggested hiring an assistant. I brought the idea to the Dean at the time, in the guise of helping me ‘get my shit together’ and he created a special work study position for a TA, which involved being an administrative assistant for the department. Basically… making sure I was sober enough to come to class, and drive without killing myself.
“Only one student applied. My little secret wasn’t well-hidden, but… Pepper was desperate to pay for her school herself so she didn’t burden her parents, and she didn’t care what it took. Until she realized her stroke of luck meant buying me gallons of Pedialyte, and fishing me out of the bar every time I drunk dialed her. She hated me. I was so annoyed by the sound of her shoes squeaking on the floorboards coming down my hallway that I gave her a pair of slippers… which she threw at me. But she kept showing up. She checked me into the hospital, and waved her finger in my face while the nurses had me captive with tubes and wires… It’s like you WANT to die! Pepper cried. I wasn’t thinking like that–I was just. Sad. And somebody actually cared.
“I didn’t ask her out for five more years,” Stark said. “Long after she graduated, might I add. Sometimes, love comes out of the clear blue sky. It doesn’t mean it’s bad, this thing between you. But some things will be difficult for you to navigate while you’re here–” he nodded to Y/n– “because of your historical connection. You also don’t have to make your lives harder. Barnes attending your thesis defense after suddenly resigning, while still being named on your work?” Stark clicked his tongue. “That’s a recipe for questions which have no bearing on your defense, but the board may not see it that way. I’m not… unsympathetic, here. My wife would make me sleep on the couch if I punished you for something I did, myself. But you should’ve told me right away. A guy’s gotta wonder what it says about him when people think they can’t come to him.
“Bottom line: now, I know. Should it be brought to me by someone other than yourselves, I can say I did my diligence, and found nothing… actionable. Yes?” Tony raised his brows and looked between the two. Bucky barely managed a slight nod, but that was enough for the Dean.
Tony stood. “I’ll tell you: some days, I wish I still drank.” He winked at Y/n. His departure left behind a heady silence.
Bucky released Y/n’s hand, and sank into the chair the Dean had occupied. Was that really it? Had he been waking up in cold sweats over the possibility of a personal history lesson from Tony Stark? Was it possible that the punishment for falling for her amounted to such a small sentence–well, not getting to hear her talk about her work was a loss, which rankled in the pit of his stomach out of disappointment more than anything–and he might not have to hide? He couldn’t stifle the huff of amazement. Y/n rubbed his shoulders.
“Are you upset with me?”
Bucky’s head snapped up. Was that fear in her voice? Her eyes searched his for reassurance, while she nervously nibbled the plush of her lower lip. What was crowning his dumbfounded dome? Love? He hadn’t said it, but Sam and Tony both had read him like a children’s board book. He loved her. Had done, since before the bloody workshop. Since… yeah. Since she handed him the first stack of poems which would become her thesis, and made that very same nervous face at him while he read her raw vision for her culminating project. He was neither upset with her for coming clean to Stark, or for any other thing. He opened his arms and she folded forward, dropping to kneel between his knees. The moment her cheek hit his chest, Bucky zinged with an image of the future. It wasn’t a premonition exactly, but it centered on her.
“I, uh. Hmm.” He gathered his realizations into a somewhat coherent statement, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I am better. With more of you,” he murmured, hearkening back to the poem of hers he had tried to use as an excuse not to love her.
“I know,” she whispered. Her fingers drew lazy circles on his back. “I wish you could be there for my defense.”
“Pssh.” He pulled back enough to look her in the eye. “I’ve had a front row seat this whole time. It’s someone else’s turn.” Bucky smiled as her nose wrinkled. “Doll, that night–broke my own heart, leaving you. I had feelings for you before then. I see that now. Just wasn’t gonna do anything about it.”
“Buck,” she said, as if his name were a new endearment she had created just for him, “do you know how long I’ve felt the same?” She giggled when Bucky frowned. “I didn’t even think you’d come to Amherst. When you did, I thought I was going to die. I don’t know how I made it through my reading.”
“You were perfect–”
“I was shaking, absolutely terrified you’d figure out all that… what did my instructor call it? Oh–“pent-up yearning”--was over you.” She sat back on her heels. “And you went with me to that bar after, and suddenly… we were magnetized.”
“Think we should tell Stark that part?”
She reached inside his fears and lit a candle. “Bucky, I love you. Even though you have been running like an Olympic Gold medalist, I’m pretty sure you feel the same.”
He blinked. “I think that is an insufficient description. Both of how I feel, and how much I’ve panicked about it.” They shared a soft, shaking laugh. She pressed up so they were nose-to-nose again, and Bucky nuzzled her. “Loving you doesn’t come easy to me. Haven’t had a lot of practice. But. I know I want to touch you again, and I feel a bit like a randy teenager about it.”
“Too bad we’ve been warned off campus trysts.” Her cheeks were warm when his fingers found them. “I’m free tonight.”
“I have work.”
“What time?”
“Eight.”
She kissed him feather-light. “This packing thing isn’t going to take us all day.”
Bucky coughed, and flushed. “No, uh. Probably not.”
“So. Let’s wrap this up, yeah?” Y/n stood, leaving Bucky dumbfounded in the chair. He watched her straighten her clothing and turn her attention to the files in the desk. Though her eyes were cast downward, she smiled like she could feel his gaze.
He scratched his cheek. This woman–blinding, beautiful, vibrant, intelligent–she had written poem after poem about him, by her own admission. He had reviewed every one, without knowing he was reading a profile of her affection for him. Born out of so many weekends in that very office, pouring over his thesaurus together, dog-earred to death with synonyms for ‘breath’ and ‘sigh’. He recalled telling her one time, ‘this would read more romantic if you…’ and the memory trailed off, because… she took his advice. She revised. He taught her the language of his heart. He walked the path beside her. He found himself at the same intersection she did. Where he saw uncultured awkwardness in himself, she saw something precious. Maybe that’s what love is. Somebody thinks I’m poetry.
Once upon a time, he wrote things people found meaningful. Enough that his own thesis was carried by the university library, and sold at the coffee shop under ‘notable local authors’. He hadn’t put any of his own words to paper in so long that he wondered if he’d forgotten how. Or if, just maybe, he didn’t need to package his thoughts in palatable portions. Not if the woman he fed was her. And by God, if he couldn’t sustain himself on her words alone, he wasn’t fit to be with her.
And that wasn’t acceptable.
He rose to his feet slowly, as if he couldn’t trust his knees not to knock together with nervousness. She paid him no mind, so he circled around the desk. Bucky reached for the folders in her hand; Y/n squeaked in surprise when he nudged the file drawer shut with his toe. He didn’t say a word, just wrapped both arms around her waist, tucked his chin into the crook of her shoulder, and held her. It took a moment for her to relax, but when she did, she hummed. A sweet, happy three-note ditty. Heart-sounds. The sort which she emitted when words were insufficient. She made many beautiful sounds on the one night of intimacy they had shared. Back then, he hadn’t felt worthy to listen to such sounds of abandon. But as her fingers crawled along his forearms to hug him back, Bucky knew they were meant for him.
She was meant for him. Whatever ‘meant’ meant. No synonyms sufficed.
She packed everything which hung on the wall, including his degrees and the photo of his Army regiment. They left the files for his predecessor. They didn’t say much, but he kissed her when the urge struck, and offered her his coat when he deemed the office sufficiently emptied. He didn’t mind the pang of sadness which tugged when he slid his key into the mail slot of Sam’s office.
Part 4
--
tag list: @peterhollandkait @honeywithemoney @nahthanks @emmabarnes @dracris33 @dracosluvbot @searchf0rtheskyline @cjand10
#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#bucky x y/n#professor bucky#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes au
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The funny thing is that I expected zagr to be most popular ship in the fandom, when I joined, because "my enemy's sister", "my brother's enemy" and I thought zadr was gonna be some underground crackship or something. I mean I wasn't exactly wrong with zagr, because from what I've seen it was the most popular for a while in the past, but zadr ended up overtaking later? Correct me if I'm wrong.
I was also suprised by the ship discourse, because Zim wouldn't have a healthy relationship with anybody as he is now, he needs a LOT of therapy/development, to get even remotely close, which people can write for any ship, so I didn't get why some shippers acted like they were allowed to give Zim development/be out of character/just ignore huge parts of his character to make the ship work (like his hatred for humanity, and every other species that isn't Irken, like it doesn't matter how old you think he is, he still views them as below him, or how he is infamous within his own kind for a good reason and he treats them disposable if that's what benefits him at the moment), but saying people with their notps can't do that. Like I expected that while the community having different ship-preferences, but they stick together, because they all go against the canon of the least romancy show in existense, but I guess nope. I have seen somebody defending this by saying that: "Well my ships are not as bad as the other ships." From whose perspective? Because everybody has a different idea about that. Even if they are right, that's what it sounds like to me:
Mom: "I can't believe you got a D!"
Kid: "But mooooooom, other people got an F!"
Like I can't take this argument seriously, and I'm not sorry about it.
zagr is/was really popular but tbh i think zadrs always been top dog in terms of like...long term dedication i tried looking at google analytics but since the terms are so vague im not sure hoooow reliable they are
blue is zadr red is zagr dating back to 2004. i guess youre not wrong though but idk if zadr really took over so much as zagr ended up dying out. this is also only 2004 and on though so make of that what you will. something to note about zagr is that im willing to wage a guess that it was everyones first introduction to invader zim (a lot of old zagr art is based on old emo/goth/scene aesthetics of the time) leading to it being searched more but thats just a theory. zadr outranks zagr by about 10k deviations on deviantart but that could still be credited to zagr just...dying out over time. idk!
as for the zim thing i think its less so zim being unhealthy and moreso the age debacle when jhonen decided to come and gunk up long cemented fandom interpretation for...some reason. though i do think thats a part of it because when silly discourse was happening people tried to alternatively ship dib with other like-aged humans (torque, dipper, etc etc) and it was very sanitized...undiblike. it was somewhat related to the overall fucked-up-ness of zadr but mostly the age lol.
there was a definite air of hypocrisy about what was acceptable and what wasnt because during this like..drama people tried to promote membrane and zim instead all the while membrane fully believed zim was one of dibs school aged friends so IDK it was a weird time to be here!!
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I am begging you and every other MHA fan to raise your standards cause Kohei gave everyone a yuri couple only to immediately kill one off.
…how many times has horikoshi faked deaths in this series. Because it’s A LOT. Afo, allmight, izuku losing his arm, bakugou, touya, Ochako literally last chapter, like… the story isn’t done yet my dude.
BUT HEY IF YOU WANNA ACTUALLY CRITIQUE HORIKOSHIS WRITING THEN IM ALL FOR IT HAHA
So how do I think horikoshi has seriously failed mha… hmm…
1: her
Her entire character. Well, not entire character. She GOT a lot of screen time and development don’t get me wrong, especially later in the series, and yes I love the fact that bakugou and dekus relationship was more prioritized than Izuku and Ochakos, but does that mean he prioritized her character? No! Nope! NADDA! Ochako is repeatedly sidelined throughout the story, and is also somehow excluded from a lot of arcs that SERIOUSLY RELATE TO HER CHARACTER.
Imagine if ochako was a part of the stain arc at all. She joined for selfish reasons like iida, he has a blood quirk like toga (which could’ve EASILY been foreshadowing to her not being freaked out by blood like most people), could’ve been a great way to show some nuance to her character….
And yet… AND YET…
That brings me to mistake number 2: Shoto Todoroki
Do I think shoto’s character is written badly or wrong? No! Of course I don’t! The entirety of the todoroki storyline, especially with its connection to hawks and the dirty parts of heroics, is really really good! I think it’s one of the most well handled abusive families in all of fiction. It understands EVERYONE in the family, and horikoshi is still able to show so much character and development in just a few scenes, like Natsuo or Rei.
So what IS my problem?
The fact that Ochako, her story, her CHARACTER AS A WHOLE… becomes sidelined due to horikoshi’s choice to prioritize his character over her’s. Again, it’s a great story and I wish he could balance both of them in mha, but he COULDNT, and he made the choice to sacrifice a woman’s character over a man’s.
Though I will say, a note on how ochako could’ve been in the stain arc: toga as a concept was created later and for ochako specifically, so it does kind of make sense as to why she wasn’t involved. Plans change and writers change, their ideas for their characters and what direction they go will ALWAYS change, and sadly you can’t predict that you won’t change a character or it’s direction at any point. It sucks! But that’s how a lot of these really long manga’s go. They have to write and then draw it pretty fucking fast.
And tbh I don’t really know what id do in horikoshi’s shoes with ochako and shoto! But it is definitely a critique we can acknowledge. It would take some seriously extraordinary writing skills to be able to balance, what, 3 deuteragonists? Katsuki, Ochako, AND Todoroki? Especially since one of those characters has a very complex trauma storyline that involves like five other characters? I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in his shoes!
I just wish he had picked the woman out of the two of them, but I think everyone knows that his manga wouldn’t be half as popular were he to have made it focus on two guys and a girl, instead of three guys, one of which is conventionally attractive and has major main character energy.
Anyway number 3: the overhaul arc
Ugh I have such mixed opinions on this arc. On one hand it has some really interesting storylines… when they’re on their own.
From what I understand, horikoshi did this arc because he wanted to try his hands at a longer arc and he had never really done that before. And while it’s great and very obvious he learned things from this arc, it just… takes up so much god damn space and gives us absolutely nothing long term.
Like yeah it makes a few points, like how high schoolers shouldn’t be involved in all of this and kinda sets up the ending rn where the actual adult heroes are sacrificing themselves for the next generation (ex: the guy that I forget the name of who’s now bakugous heart, allmight for deku, midnight for Mina/all the other kids, Mount lady, Aizawa for deku and all the other kids, Mirko for bakugou, etc etc), where as villains sacrifice the next generation for THEMSELVES (ex: afo and shigaraki, overhaul and eri, the gun arm girl for deku, also afo for dabi, etc etc) which is really good to do!
It’s just. Yk. Done by basically every other arc.
AIZAWA REPEATEDLY SHOWS THIS, ALLMIGHT REPEATEDLY SHOWS THIS, ENDEAVOR REPEATEDLY SHOWS THIS. Like it’s the entirety of Mount ladies arc, learning to be a hero and sacrifice for the next generation. Sacrifice and the fact that we forget 1-A are high schoolers is constantly shoved down our fucking throats; we don’t need this arc that takes so god damn long, only adds more characters that aren’t that important, TAKES AWAY FROM YOUR MAIN CAST OTHER THAN DEKU AND ALLMIGHT, JUST for it to tell you explicitly that “kids shouldn’t be fighting the battles of the previous generation, but they have to”. It just. Ugh.
There’s so much time in that arc fucking WASTED on nighteye or mirio’s character. Do I think the big three are really interesting? Of course! The contrast between mirio to deku is fascinating! It really shows how much deku can’t become allmight.
But you know. We talked about that a season ago mha. Yk. When he learns to use kicks instead of punches. Or yk. Gran Torino’s entire arc surrounds that. Everything about deku is nothing like allmight. That’s the entirety of their characters together. It’s repeatedly shown to be dekus biggest insecurity. He’s not allmight. YOU DIDNY NEED THIS ARC TO TELL YOU THAT AGAIN.
It’s like, everything that matters in this arc has already been shouting at you throughout the entire show, and everything else is never really used again outside of a mention here or there. It’s REALLY CLEAR Horikoshi was just doing this arc to try doing a long arc, not thinking about the long term of said arc.
Hmmm what else is there to complain about…
Eh, I guess the fan service? Which is, yk, in every other shonen anime/manga out there. Sometimes with people far younger than anyone in mha.
Ugh it’s like people like you just want me to be screaming “horikoshi did this! Horikoshi did that!” Every five seconds. I read the manga, I’ve talked about these flaws before on my account. Sorry if I… enjoy the manga???? Wait… omg!
It’s almost like I’m an mha account and it says RIGHT HERE IN MY BIO! Crazy!
Like seriously, what was your point? You were mad at drawings on a screen and someone enjoying that story and just… wanted to make someone’s day worse?
Did you expect me to heave over and be like “yes master anon! Toga is the worst written character in mha and horikoshi is a bad writer!” He’s a capable writer who understands his audience more than people give him credit for.
EVERY story has flaws. Every. Single. One. And because mha is literally everywhere and the fandom can get annoying because, it’s literally everywhere, I can understand getting annoyed sometimes. But you can’t sit here and expect me to solely focus on how bad horikoshi’s writing is because you’re mad at one thing. Toga SHOULD be selfless for ochako, sorry that it means thinking that she’s going to die???? What do you want from me?
I don’t have to “raise my standards” because horikoshi uses a lot of subtext and symbolism. I have other gay media I watch or read.
But like every single lgbtq movement that’s ever happened, it takes BABY STEPS. There aren’t many, if any, gay shonens out there, and if mha wants to be the first one it has to play by the rules. It has to make you think this is every other heterosexual shonen ever.
Shojo didn’t just become gay, it had to have shows like sailor moon censor a lesbian couple to be “cousins” so that other shows could exist. Madoka had to be at least semi subtle about its queer coding.
That whole meme where it shows one show saying “x show walked so that y show could run”, yeah that’s how every gay genre was made. Horror didn’t just become gay, it had to have community and relatability build up over the years, along with those new gay writers remembering where they came from, who paved the way.
My point being: I don’t give a shit if you think horikoshi is an awful writer who you think I can’t criticize. However I DO KNOW that if toga and ochako fully get together you’ll NEVER be able to avoid mha. And that thought makes me smile so much more than just the fact that they’re canon.
#I’m gonna quote myself saying ‘yes master anon’ bc that’s hilarious#should I be posting this? probably not#giving someone like this a platform is dumb#HOWEVER#they weren’t saying slurs or being offensive#it was just petty fandom discourse so whatever it’s being posted#you may say I’m giving them too much energy#however what I say to that is that I LIKED talking about this anyway so it doesn’t matter
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