#me: yes absolutely. that is something i can easily imagine my character as motivated to do. i want to protect this baby.
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i keep trying to want to play starfield but the main plot has so profoundly failed to convince me to buy into it. and im not a guy who needs a lot of convincing.
#skyrim: dragons are back and they will kill people if you dont do something!#me: got it. i care about this plot. that is a clear danger.#fallout 4: the world ended and your baby was kidnapped! go find him!!#me: yes absolutely. that is something i can easily imagine my character as motivated to do. i want to protect this baby.#starfield: euuuuugh uh. you touched a rock and saw stars. fly across the galaxy and join this group of explorers now.#me: w. why?? it isnt like im suffering any ill effects from touching the rock so they cant help me. i dont care abt exploring the universe#i havent been GIVEN a reason to care. theres no stakes. im just being told to do something. fallout 3 had the same issue.#except at least in fallout 3 its your fake dad and i can imagine my character caring about him.#in starfield it is literally just being told what to do and being given no reason for doing it. and this is supposed to be a game#about exploration. yet the player isnt given any autonomy or anything.#its not even like barrett is like 'i have to stay here can you please go TELL constellation about this rock'#its. nope you have to join them and do what they say. why? fuck you.#i want to like it i really do but. god.#carly.txt
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Hi Dee! So who do you think is more of a risk taker, Arthur or Eames?
Most of Arthur’s motives on the job seem to be to protect his team from danger, but I usually headcanon him as being quite fearless and maybe enjoying the thrill of danger for himself. Enjoying being thrown any sort of unexpected shit and still coming up on top, that's his point of pride and what makes him best as his job (and of course his level of preparedness helps but as we saw there's always something that comes up).
On the other end Eames reads to me as someone who's rather cautious and cares about his own safety, probably before anyone else (with the exception of Arthur, he'd do anything for him). He seems to be more one for an intellectual challenge, and unleashing the full power of a mind's creativity is what gets him off, so to speak.
Does it make sense? That's how I read them but sometimes it seems a bit contradicting, I don't know. Do you read them differently?
I’m sorry I took a lot of time this is such a great ask I had so much fun thinking about this thanks for sending this ily val ♥️
one of the best qualities arthur and eames as characters have is being able to carry two very contradicting traits at the same time. imo, that’s the reason that they’ve continued to stand the test of time as well and the reason why we can easily imagine them in any given situation or an au. pirates? yes! bakery owners? yes yes! pirates who sell fluffy crumpets? yes yes yes!!
having said that, I absolutely agree with you. arthur often being a very cautious guy because he has already thought of (and is secretly enjoying) the most unprecedented and unpredicted thing that can happen and eames being a natural risk taker because he is already well prepared and has made five different escape plans (in his secret moleskin) , makes so much sense.
an on dreamhusbands (my favourite) front, it again hits home cause, what if the reason arthur and eames didn’t see eye to eye the first few times they crossed paths was because they thought the other one was too cautious or too reckless? and the relationship slowly growing as the time goes on, when they realise that the rigid point man is actually quite impressive and the sloppy forger is actually very specific?
it also brings a sense of comfort they can find in each other ; about the whole “relationships where you can rest”.. for arthur, he finds someone who he can rely on the days wants to try the deep end himself, knowing eames will excellently cover his 6o clock and be very creaful about it, and for eames, he finds someone who is willing to take his hand and promise him everything is gonna be just fine, so therefore no, you must never be afraid to dream a little bigger?
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Anything with nsfw with Cassia x fem reader? We were talking about voice kink but what about scent kink? Pwetty pwease
So... I'm not sure if this is entirely what you meant when you said scent kink, but it's my best interpretation of it.
Also, I should warn, I try my best to fill requests while keeping in line with the characters, so this may not be as... well, tender as some of my other NSFW imagines. If you would like me to write more official, proper, in-a-relationship NSFW headcanons with Cassia, feel free to ask!
NSFW below the cut, as well as a whole lot of Cassia being herself (obsessive over fragrances).
Cassia x fem Reader with scent kink
Even after several months of education and treatment in the Bureau, Cassia is nowhere near ready enough for a real relationship. Her worldview is just too deeply distorted to be easily remedied. It's a pity, but maybe someday…
However, one thing Cassia can grasp, and shockingly well at that, is sex. In fact, it seems to have become something essential to her, much as a human needs oxygen. You didn’t really understand why that was until the first time she approached you.
Cassia is usually a person of absolute, ethereal beauty. That made her pale, ashen-faced complexion on that day all the more shocking to you – you’d never seen her like this before.
Of course, that didn't compare to the shock you felt when she asked for sex. With you. Something about your fragrance? You didn't really get it, but Cassia seemed to be earnest in her request and she was pretty, even in her current state… What did you have to lose?
Cassia dragged you off to some broom closet the second you said yes and fell on you with all the intensity of a ravening beast. She seemed desperate, pupils blown wide, pretty much tearing your clothes off you…
Which made you all the more confused when she suddenly stilled. You noted she was trembling as she leaned forward, taking a long sniff of the junction where your neck and collarbone met.
“Your fragrance is… divine,” Cassia whispered, her breath hot against your neck. “So rich… and vibrant… but it still lingers… Mm, I… need you… Need your fragrance…”
The lighting in the broom closet was terrible, but even so you could still see the fierce blush crawling up her pale skin. So sickly before, now she seemed revitalized all of a sudden. You were too stunned to do much other than stand there as Cassia drank in another long inhale of your scent. Briefly, you wondered if this was what Cassia's idea of sex was…
Until Cassia fell to her knees, and placed her mouth on you. It couldn't be comfortable in this cramped space, but the perfumer didn't seem to notice; her tongue works your folds like a god. You'd wonder how Cassia got this skilled if you weren't too busy trying to not alert the whole Bureau to what was going on by your lewd moans and cries.
(Regardless, the answer would be that you were not the first person Cassia had pleasured, and desperation was a fine motivator to reach perfection.)
She'll clean every last drop of your arousal diligently, and when it becomes clear there is no more, she'll abruptly stand up to leave. Your bleary mind half-notes she doesn’t swallow. Even if you offer to pleasure her in return, she'll decline and quickly depart.
The next time you see Cassia, she's vibrant and full of life, and the perfume she's wearing is familiar to you, but it takes you a moment to place why…
When you do realize where you know the scent from, you turn as red as Cabernet's hair. How had she managed to extract a perfume from the arousal she'd licked off you?!
Cassia notices you and approaches, asking what you think of her new scent– which is named after you, dispelling any last doubt of the “primary ingredient.”
Still, once the shock wears off, a deeper part of your mind supplies that thought that Cassia wearing the scent of your arousal is… kind of hot? Really hot, actually, if the fact you're already getting aroused again by the thought of it is any indication…
So when Cassia asks for sex again, you figure: What harm could one more time do?
Of course it isn't one more time. Cassia's addicted to your scent, and you're addicted to that feeling that crawls down your spine and lights a fire in the pit of your stomach (and between your legs) when she wears your scent.
This little thing the two of you have… You don't know when it will end. But you hope it isn't anytime soon.
#ptn#path to nowhere#ptn cassia#path to nowhere cassia#cassia#ptn headcanons#path to nowhere headcanons#headcanons
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Writeblr Positivity Tag
I was not technically tagged by @winterandwords but I'm still grabbing it from the open tag, and leave it as such :)
1. What motivates you to write?
If I don't do it, no one else will write what I want to see.
2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)
Gonna pick the lines that finished a 300k words project spread over 2 novels and 2 novellas :D
“But are you?” he asked after a moment, a hint of uncertainty on his face. “Happy, I mean. Is this how you imagined it?”
Merridy looked from the airy, creme-white curtains to the shimmering rainbow glass shards, and out the window, where in the distance the ocean sparkled in the sun. She raised her gaze to Damien, his eyes fixed on her as if nothing else mattered.
“No,” she whispered. “It’s better.”
3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?
We all know how obsessed I am with Damien, but another char that makes me happy is Riordan. I mean — how could a char I introduced as "fancy boots" not make me smile?
Between all the sad guys and tragic backstories, he's just happy and kind (and a bit naive and rude :D), with a nice family, a good life and some fun quirks. He's absolutely the friend Merry and Damien needed.
4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?
Finishing. Finishing a chapter. Finishing a book with the last little piece fallen into place. Finishing formatting. Just. Being done with something. I am constantly haunted by the fear my interest might vanish before I am done, so being done is... awesome.
Also then I get to make my friends cry then, so that's that.
5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)
Sadness :)
6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?
Writing can be so very lonely. Spending hours upon hours putting silly little words into a silly little document, no I can't show you anything because I am not done, but listen to me talk about my char you don't know so you don't understand anything about what I am saying.
But here, we all understand the struggle and share the excitement.
7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)
Uh. Nothing really exists. I used to write in txt files, now I am in google docs so I can share more easily, which means I have at least a basic spell check now (which is nice, but also no google, I'm not talking about his sons.)
I guess InDesign (some shitty version from 2007) and Calibre are closest - I use them to format my books for printing and as ebook. Calibre is a rock star. InDesign is also the only program I've found so far that correctly fixes straight quotation marks in existing text when pasting in.
8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)
I am a sucker for tying all stories together in some way — recurring characters and places through standalone books, stuff like that. A lot of it is conveniently put on the back of the Order of Fire. It's an order dedicated to gathering and preserving knowledge. They have citadels all over the place, they need scientists, scholars, mercenaries and housekeeping staff, they can connect people from different parts of the world when I need it.
9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?
I don't know. There's so many reasons for a "rough patch", and every single one requires different advice. For example, "take a break" would be the worst thing I could do right now.
Your story is worth it. Only you can write it. Yes, even if it takes time. Yes, even if similar ones exist. Yes, even if it contains unpopular tropes. Yes.
10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters
I have a list of my fav works here and I appreciate everyone who ever read my stuff and left a like or comment 💜
But as for support, @alittlewhump @verkja and @starlit-hopes-and-dreams are single(triple)handedly keeping my sanity up. I've found my people in more than one way, and I will stick to you like chewing gum you stepped into. I love you.
Template below the cut:
1. What motivates you to write?
2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)
3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?
4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?
5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)
6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?
7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)
8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)
9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?
10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters
#salad-tag#fun fact: the developer of calibre is also the developer of the terminal emulator I use#kitty ftw#I do think that line will be edited a bit once I get to it#*looks at calendar and sweats*#but for now
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I asked @kimium what her headcanons were for the Housewarden's favourite movies in Twisted Wonderland (see her answer here). The rules were: any type of movie is applicable as long as it is a film. She then prompted me to give my own answers, and so I shall! Since she stated she would do her best not to just pick anime movies, I will in turn do my best not to just pick horror. :)
Riddle - Mary Poppins. She's a lovely lady with a set of rules all her own, however odd they may be. I feel like Riddle would actually be able to follow the logic of the film right away, if he just gives in to his childish side a little, and I think he would really enjoy the film. I think after he watches it he would feel like he could relax a bit and let himself be more of a child (because he is still young and he deserves fun). I also think the film would inspire him to be a bit more relaxed in how he interprets the rules, or to look at them from different angles. That's why I think he likes it. I think he loves that it allows him to break out of his rigid ways once in a while and feel the childhood he wasn't allowed to have.
Leona - Honestly, I would say Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I do agree that Leona is someone who doesn't want a 'brainless' plot, and who can easily follow more than one plotline. The music is very intense and beautiful, and there is a large cast of characters to keep up with, all with their own motivations. I think Leona would thrive on this!
Azul - Now You See Me. A movie about magicians preforming a heist. I think Azul would really enjoy the sleight of hand, the deception, and the fact that a major plot point is robbing a bank. I think Azul is not just about success = money; rather I think his thrill comes more from getting one-up on someone and outsmarting others. The heist in the movie would be something I think he'd enjoy not because it involves money; but because of the setup to get there and how complex it is. I think he rather enjoys elaborate plans and being ten steps ahead of his opponent.
Kalim - I think Kalim would really enjoy Inside Out. I feel like he would have a lot of fun watching the different emotions of Riley's personality, and I think he would enjoy the different colourful parts of her imagination. Would there be tears? Absolutely. (I think any movie with Kalim would be a tearfest at some point). Would he absolutely love the themes of change and learning how to handle emotions as you grow? Yup.
Vil - Crimson Peak. Ok, ok, some of you may be thinking 'meags. A horror movie? For Vil???'. But listen. Vil isn't just pretty, he's not just a model, he's an actor, he's a member of the Film Study Club. He more than likely has researched and viewed horror films, so as to understand what makes the genre. Yes, I know he doesn't want to be "type-cast", and he wants to have his time "in the light", but that doesn't mean he can't appreciate the beauty of the dark and grotesque. But here's the other thing; Crimson Peak is actually very beautiful. The house and the setting have an eerie isolated beauty to them. And I think Vil would like that. I think he would also appreciate the plot twist; because while it does feel like it fucking blind-sides you, it does also have appropriate build-up that you can see when you look back on the rest of the movie. It's not so much terrifying as it is a "wait what the fuck" moment. And I think the film would be one that would stick in his mind long after watching. (for me, it was less a "oh I didn't see that coming" and more a "are they going there? they won't go there. Nah, there's no way - oh shit, they WENT THERE.")
Idia - The Princess Bride. Idia has voiced more than once that he likes video games with heroes, that he enjoys seeing the range of intense emotions on-screen, that he likes adventure through his games. He also has a love for classics. So, why wouldn't he enjoy this beautiful romance, full of adventure and battles, with witty come-backs and multiple morally grey characters who go through significant development by the end of the movie? I think it's right up his alley. In fact, he might even have it memorized.
Malleus - Sword of the Stranger. This anime movie is about a young boy and his dog being hunted by a group of soldiers as his blood is the necessary ingredient for an immortality potion, and a wanderer who has long ago vowed not to unsheathe his sword. I feel like Malleus would feel a strong connection to both of them through their feelings of loneliness, the betrayals they've experienced, and the way they find each other and form a small family. Don't tell me Malleus wouldn't love a found family movie; he will FEAST on it, LOL. The art is gorgeous and the soundtrack is phenomenal.
Hope you enjoyed my answers! Thanks for prompting me to share my thoughts too :)
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writer’s block… but i have scenarios…
i either
A) have writer’s block or
B) no motivation at write or maybeeee
C) too tired to write bc my schedule is starting to get nice, long and full… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
but i have small scenarios... plz take and do whatever you please
i’ll label each one with the character, fandom and the works and i’m in a ✨vehicle✨ so forgive if my words are fucked.. i’m not going back and editing later
cake means NSFW and strawberry means SFW
now.. enjoy
🍓Fire Force; Shrina Kusakabe
so yk when he was carrying Sister Iris? i feel like one day you’d ask him if he could do the same to you, and he would and if you give the say so he’d start flying around with you…. until you guys get in trouble
if you live in the 7th jurisdiction, i can see the twins snitching on you two over it and he’d get in so much trouble because Beni completely babies you
🍓My Hero; Eijiro Kirishima
so what he sees as a date, him and the gang playing games, one in the others lap, and he’s just chill, squishing your thighs and pudgy tummy. he’s got this whole way of speaking without his mouth, hardening his finger and writing morse code
he also has a habit of betting you instead of money whenever he makes bets with denki or bakugou, but ONLY when he knows he’s gonna win
🍰same
so like this might be a lil but still
you like to sit on his lap, perched right on his lovely pelvis, you don’t do anything you just admire him with this little smile on your face… then sometimes his lil scar will catch your eye and you just sit like that, nothing sexual it’s just how you connect with him
🍓 My Hero; Denki Kaminari
he has a habit of staying up when he’s stressed or not in a positive mood and when that happens he eats. like it doesn’t matter what he just eats, so one time he’s going to get instant ramen and he just sees you in the fridge trying to make a sandwich.
🍓 Genshin; Hu Tao
she has either chicken scratch or flawless hand writing
like it’s pure unwired ass when she’s stressed the fuck out but when she calm and happy her writing looks like a beautiful computer font
🍓 Genshin; Childe/Thoma
these idiot forget to drink water
Thoma does it bc he genuinely forgets to when he’s in work mode so you gotta tap him and tell him to drink some
Childe does it bc he think he doesn’t need it bc… stupid and arrogant reasons, he drinks tea, coffee and other drinks and says ‘it’s made with water’
🍰 Genshin;Zhongli
Ok so like when he get mad, he won’t show it, but he spoils you. Full shopping spree(yes i know this man is kinda dumb with his fiancés but it’s bc he’s a god and never had to worry abt it, he’s gonna easily get the hang of stocks and bonds and other shit) he gets your nails done, new makeup, new clothes of all sorts, but when you get home and you try to get anything out he lifts you over his shoulder and carrie’s you to the bed and he… mmmm.. just ravages you, ofc he doesn’t take it took far unless his in a mood and decides to be a complete god- i have an idea now
🍰 My Hero; Aizawa
HE DOESNT LIKE PETPLAY i just have a lil voice screaming it to me
butttt once time you bought this choker with a heart shaped bell and you flicked it. it’s just,,, peaked him yk? and you just haddd to be such a stupid lil brat and when he went to pull it, it did something to you. you usually wear chokers and he will pull on them but this is different
🍓genshin; Thoma
so the lacquerware place (it’s by the alchemy table) would def have Kamisato as one of their top customers. Thoma is always buying nail lacquer for you and sometimes Ayaka if she likes it. he’ll paint your nails himself and make sure they are Perfect.
🍓genshin/Fire Force; Diona/Hinata+Hikage
so imagine them having a favorite thing like knitting or some shit and they legit force you to model for them, like pull you around the city, saying ‘i made this and it’s awesome bc Y/N is wearing it!’
🍰Haikyuu/Kenma
mic usage. he’d make you wear the headset and absolutely destroy your insides while his friends get to listen.
here’s some more content of me!
#bnha fanfiction#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha smut#reader insert#genshin x reader smut#haikyu imagines#haikyu x reader#haikyuu x self insert#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#mha fanfiction#haikyuu!!#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#mha#genshin x you#fire force#fire force x y/n#fire force x you
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I SAW THE NEW BABY CLOUD!!!! ☁️
Woosanhwa eating the peppers for the kids was so funny! Wooyoung looked so close to tapping out. Ahhhhh.
It was so cute when the twins didn't want it to be over, they just wanted their uncles! And Jaeyul also wanting to stay with Hwa? Plus, the way he wanted to sit with him to eat and pulled out his chair?? SO SOFT. TOO SOFT. I AM DEAD.
Octo-parenting~ 😂 A child per dorm would be a great thing to watch!! Imagine Yunho and Yeosang with a little kid by themselves. Cuteeee~!
Ah, I also don't want it to be over! EVER!! @ KQ make it Wanteez!!!
Imagining Wooyoung waiting at Hongjoong's door, just to speak to him without honorifics at the stroke of midnight, is entertaining me no end. Hongjoong would be furious but, as we know, Wooyoung likes to be shouted at and mistreated so, even as he runs for his life, he'd be loving it. 😂
Hongjoong definitely won't care about Hwa being his hyung for real, he's such a reliable and important person in his life. But they're already teasing each other about it and I love it! His '아이고 형님~~~~ 형.님 형!님!^^' on bstage was so adorable. Ahhh I love them so much! They're perfect. My hopeless men who can't make friends easily. 🥺
Yesssss. K-drama prime suspect Yunho?? AMAZING. I WANT IT NOWWWWW. He could play such a potential terrifying, confusing, compelling character. He has the depth and expressions down for sure!
Let me try and drag other Ateez shows out of my head... Stressor Things. Pirate Reboot. Curse of the Money Hole. Parasite Double Up. The Vikings. That's all I can think of but I feel like I'm missing something obvious. 🤷♀️😂 They're all from universe. I have a link somewhere. I'll message it separately when I find it!
Did you see that fancall of San talking to a trans fan today? He's so sweet and patient. Our Choi San is a comforting hill, just like his dad wanted him to be~! ⛰️
Also, San lingering in the back of Seonghwa's live in a sheet mask. HAUNTING. 😂
!!!!!!!!!! Did you see SanHwa doing the Hard and Bouncy challenges with Minho? The way I lost my absolute shit. I never ever expected my two favorite groups from 2 gens apart to even share the same camera space, let alone do any sort of dance together, especially my top two biases 🥲 - I was not okay yesterday and my friends took every chance to remind me that it really happened - I was probably more excited about it than the damn members 🤣
Also YES - cast Yunho as prime suspect who makes everyone else uncomfortable and everyone thinks did it because he has all the motive and capability, but not the actual killer; that should be Yeosang, who everyone brushed off as sweet and in the wrong place at the wrong time, incapable of a murder so brutal. Wooyoung should be the comic relief rookie investigator that accidentally destroys/misplaces some piece of evidence that is vital to realizing it's Yeo 😂
Also yes I looked up the fancall after you mentioned it! (I completely forgot to respond until today bc my brain is made of swiss cheese, but still). I cried - holy shit, San was so gentle and knew exactly what to say. He didn't seem confused or weirded out or anything, just totally open and supportive and loving, and wanted to make the fan feel welcome and supported in the fandom and I just 🥲
Serious time here for a moment lol
This particular fan call really did mean something. Speaking personally and seriously for a moment, as a transmasc kpop fan, I do often feel alienated in the fandom. Not only because I worry about fans being uncomfortable (I won't go stealth for that reason, online, because I feel like that distinction between cis and trans is vital when historically cismen have been awful in fandom spaces like this) - but also because in my experience kpop boy groups themselves just kind of expect their fans to all be girls/women. (Younger girls/women but that's a different topic).
Not only are most songs gender coded for that (which most of Ateez don't seem to be, and let me tell you that is a huge relief), but there are times that the confusion or surprise when a member meets a male fan is visible and that just :/ is super upsetting in a way, because I worry they're weirded or grossed out, etc - esp given the historical cultural discrimination against the queer community - it's just hard to really know.
People can talk about supportive idols across the board until they're blue in the face - it's really easy to support in theory, donate to charities, say equal rights, etc - when you're not face with it.
So something like this - a one-on-one conversation that with someone openly of that community, that as far as San knew wouldn't be published on a public platform, etc - having him not even hesitate to be comforting and supportive - that really touched me. And to have him try so hard to get his support and love across in a language that wasn't his own, it just... Really really solidified how deeply, inherently good he is. (And made me 100% sure this was the group that will be my ult for the foreseeable future).
okay enough serious sappy crud
That live was absolutely horrifying, thank you. Seonghwa really needs to invest in a lock for his door when he does lives 🤣 or a spray bottle - just start spraying him like a misbehaving kitten when he creeps into lives like this 🤣🤣🤣
Also, I am so sad promotions are officially over 😭 - It's been a very very long time since I have followed a group's promotions all the way through to the end without getting absolutely sick of the same song performance 😭 - I usually give up after about week 1, but I had zero problem this time around and wish they had another week 🥲
Also thank you so much for that link!!! You are a life saver, I have a whole little mountain more of fun stuff to watch for a few weeks now! Thank you!!! My friend let me borrow her copy of the Break the Wall concert in Seoul that I need to watch too, so I'm simply delighted with the content I've got for a while now lol
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What Goes Around
Pairing: Hardin Scott x reader
Request: Could I please request an imagine/fic with Hardin Scott x Reader and basically Hardin of course has his bad boy reputation but this intrigues the reader. She is his complete opposite and finds his rudeness quite funny. Hardin is a little too mean to her one time and makes her cry. It doesn’t occur to Hardin that she likes him and by that point he feels like he has lost his chance to get to know her because of his.. ‘wicked’ charm? You can choose the ending. Anonymous
Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody
He’s watching you give your coffee order and it makes you smile. Everywhere you go, you seem to run into each other. At first, you’d just steal glances then go your separate ways but then it turned into “hello”. He made the first move and asked if you should have your coffee together one day. Ever since than you’d made polite conversation when you ran into each other and you had to admit that something intrigued you about the tattooed boy who refused to care about anyone other than himself. You couldn’t exactly relate to his perspective on life but you wanted to know more, to understand the boy who considered the world a cruel place rather than an opportunity to happy days.
“This seat taken?” you ask standing with a hot cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. The “Red Queen” series have become something of an obsession for you after finishing the first book. You never thought you’d stray from the classics but lately, YA books had been catching your eye.
“I see you’re still on the third book,” he smiles and in the same moment letting you know how he feels about YA books. You don’t take it too hard considering he’s not even willing to admit his love for books for anyone other than you.
“I’m taking my time and enjoying the words.” You have a tendency to get too invested and rush through a book to get to the ending meaning you miss a lot of the little Easter eggs along the way. You’re trying to change that.
“Hey, no judgement from me.” He’s lying but it’s a cute lie so you’ll allow it. Once you’ve finished your coffee, you stand up grabbing your things. You have exactly ten minutes before your class start but you like to get there early in case you need to do some last-minute preparations. Hardin remains seated and you remain neutral in regards to his lack of motivation when it comes to college.
I’ll be going classes now. Want to come?” Okay, maybe not that neutral. He shakes his head smiling and you know what that means. It takes three days before you run into him again. This time at the library where you reach for the same book which sounds completely absurd and something that would only happen in one of your books. It’s a cute moment though.
“I guess great minds think alike,” you say and he scoffs.
“Please. You wish you were as clever as me.” He offers you the book about to sit down when he spots some of his friends outside. You know he’s been a little vague about who you are considering just how different you are to them and frankly, you don’t mind. Hardin is an interesting character because there’s more to him than just the casual alcoholic teen while the people he surrounds himself with at those frat parties really don’t have much else going on for them. You went one time and you’d never been more bored in your life.
“I should go,” he says Within minutes he’s out the door walking in the direction away from his “friends”. After that you don’t spot him for a while or maybe he’s avoiding you to avoid the questions his friends will inevitable have. Either way, you find yourself missing his sarcastic comments. You hadn’t realised just how much of an impression he’d made on you until he wasn’t around. But he comes back to you eventually.
“Hey,” he says when he spots you at the coffee house.
“I thought you’d moved city,” you tease pushing out the chair across from you with your foot. He sits down sliding a book across the table.
“As an apology,” he grins. You turn the book over to see the cover and you can’t help but smile.
“You remembered.” One of the first conversations between you and Hardin had been about ecocriticism and a book called “The Road” that you’d borrowed from the library more times than you could count. You’d discussed the topic in class where your professor had recommended this book and now Hardin had gotten it for you.
“You wouldn’t shut up about the book for at least five hours. How could I not?” He shrugs it off like it’s no big deal but it still means a lot to you. Now you could read the book whenever you felt like it. And he’d gotten the original cover rather than the movie cover. It would’ve been the perfect gift if his friends hadn’t shown up and ruined everything. You see the change in him the second they enter the coffee house.
“Hardin, who’s this?” Jace asks with hungry eyes making you feel incredibly uncomfortable.
“Just a friend,” Hardin offers not wanting to give any information to these people.
“Sure, friend. Do you feel the same way, honey?” Jace asks making the rest of the guys snicker. Before you have a chance to answer, Hardin opens his mouth and ruins everything.
“Yes, friend. I mean look at her. Not exactly my type, is it? I mean, could it get anymore vanilla?” This earns him a high five from one of the guys but it cracks your heart. You’ve never thought much about your close or the way you looked because you thought the inside counted a hell of a lot more than the outside. But hearing that the idea of being with you seemed so ludicrous hurt more than you liked to admit.
“I should get going.” You don’t look at Hardin when you leave and you don’t bring the book with you. If this is how he thinks of you then you don’t want anything from him. And it’s not even the fact that he considers you a friend. If that’s all it was, you’d be fine. It’s how easy it was for him to degrade you that really hurt. You tell yourself you won’t cry but it’s a lost battle as you head home. Unfortunately, you don’t reach home before he catches up to you.
“Leave me alone, Hardin,” you say picking up the pace. You’re determined to reach your apartment without stopping but of course, you can’t help yourself when it’s Hardin.
“Are you mad at me?”
“Mad at you? Of course, I’m mad at you!” you yell not caring who hears you at this point.
“You of all people should realise what it’s like to be judged on the way you look. I like the way I look and I absolutely refuse to let you make me feel bad about it!” You don’t care if he said it because of his friends or not, it’s the fact that it came to him so easily. That means he’s thought it before regardless of the situation at the coffee house.
“It was a joke!” he yells back opting for defensive rather than just apologise. You’re not doing this. You turn around and this time he doesn’t follow you. It’s weeks before you dare return to the coffee house. You don’t want to meet him again. Instead you dive head first into the universe of Jane Austen thinking he could’ve been your Mr. Darcy with his sour attitude and soft spot for you but it didn’t turn out that way. But your need for good coffee eventually win over your fear of seeing him again. The plan is in, order, pay and leave. It’s just not that simple once you’re inside.
“You forgot this.” He places “The Road” in front of you as you’re waiting for your coffee. You can’t believe he’s held onto to it since that day. You figured he would’ve just chucked it in the bin.
“I’m really sorry for what I said. It was rude and thoughtless. You deserve better.” It’s a good apology but you can’t help but think what the insult will be the next time his friends catch you together.
“You’re right. I deserve better.” You get your coffee and head outside.
“Throw me a bone here. I said I was sorry.” Of course, Hardin follows you outside refusing to let this go.
“Hardin, you’re only sorry because I called you out on it. You don’t actually care that it hurt me.” He’s not the first guy who thought he could walk all over you and he won’t be the last but you refuse to accept that treatment. You deserve a lot better than that.
“I’m sorry because it hurt you. I didn’t think you’d read so much into it,” he defends himself making it clear to you that it’s a pointless discussion. He’s not going to understand why what he said was hurtful despite his own appearance and the comments he’s received.
“How could I not? I’m sitting there thinking we might have a shot and then you pull the rug out from under me. I’m not playing these games with you.”
“What?” You don’t bother repeating yourself instead using this moment of shock to hurry away. You manage to avoid him for another week before he corners you on campus.
“You can’t just throw something like that out in the world and then leave. It’s been going round and round in my head.” He has a hand on each side of you leaning against the wall. It’s effective for keeping you in place and distracting you from why you’re actually upset with him.
“I never thought you’d like me like that. Shit, I would’ve done things very differently if I ever thought I had a chance.” This time you’re the one in shock. You didn’t think he’d put so much thought into what you said last time.
“What would you have done differently?” Despite vowing to yourself that you’re done with Hardin, you find yourself curious once again. This bad boy persona with a loving man hidden inside seems like an impossible paradox.
“I would’ve kept you well clear of those idiots from the frat house. Bought you flowers maybe. Taken you to dinner. Bought you a hell of lot more books.” You don’t want to forgive him but it’s hard to think when he’s this close to you.
“I can start now if you’d like.” He places a hand on your cheek and his touch gives you chills. You inhale sharply telling yourself not to give into him but your body has already thrown in the white towel. He leans down stopping inches from your lips.
“I really am sorry. It won’t happen again.” Instead of answering, you lean up closing the gap between you. It’s the first kiss but definitely not the last.
#hardin scott x reader#hardin scott imagine#hardin scott blurb#hardin scott after#hardin scott gif#hardin scott#after gif#after imagine#after blurb#After movie#after we collided#after we collided blurb#after we collided imagine#awc imagine#awc gif#awc blurb#awc
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Thoughts on redemption for DE herself? I disagree with ppl who want her redeemed just bc of a sad backstory. She was born evil destroying the lives of her closest friends +her past self was just as selfish and manipulative. Sorta sympathetic cause but unjustifiable means. Doesn’t look like Devsis intends on redeeming despite pity/apologists she gets.
Honestly I just. Don't get Dark Enchantress Cookie at all. You find out that cookies are made to be eaten, witness Witches eating your fellow people, get cruelly dipped in batter and rebaked into having a midlife crisis and become an immensely powerful sorcerer as a result--and your second instinct is to pretty much destroy Earthbread or something? Start a war against your fellow cookies? Completely ruin countless families' lives because of this... This truth that you've learned?
I just don't get that. I don't get that at all. That seems like such a weird leap in logic that doesn't make much sense to me, and I have no idea how she came to the conclusion that this was her calling. Either there's something more that Devsis isn't yet telling us, or her character needs serious re-evaluation, because there's something so... weird about that whole thing.
And sure, you can argue that she's doing this because she knows that her fellow friends wouldn't believe her and that maybe no one will--but is that really enough to start a whole fucking war over it? Really?
I very strongly headcanon that this 'Truth' that Pure Vanilla found at the end of the Sugar Free Road was that cookies were made by witches to be eaten, and I very much like the idea that he takes that knowledge and decides 'Well, we're alive, and we've survived. We can make something beautiful out of it in spite of that.' I also think that he knows that telling the vast majority of cookies this Truth would start something absolutely terrible, so he keeps it to himself.
Frankly, what I want is to first know why it is that Dark Enchantress is so adamant about cookie war. Why is she so confident that the only way to proceed is by leading her followers to make other cookies suffer? Why do her followers believe her motives when it's so... So out-of-place and wrong?
I kind of like White Lily as a character. Yes, she is manipulative, and definitely a little too dedicated to finding out how to bake the perfect cookie. And yes, that did lead her to almost fuck up the entirety of the magic school she and Pure Vanilla attended in their youth. But she did so because she wanted to figure out how to stop cookies from crumbling so easily, especially so young, and that's a fairly noble goal in and of itself.
What makes her interesting are these flaws, in my opinion. She's a cookie whose want to do good left her down a broken and crooked path, and the tragedy is in seeing her progress down a road that she can never come back from.
Meanwhile Dark Enchantress Cookie is like a total 180 from that too-sympathetic character. She's turned from a cookie who was so shaken up when the Academy was being destroyed by Dark Moon Magic into a cookie who would do just the same thing and show no remorse. Why, though? If she values the lives of cookies so much and is so angry for the truth of how they were made, why is she waging ear against cookies rather than the witches that made them? It just seems so strange to me.
I'm repeating myself, but I can honestly say that I don't know. I don't know what Devsis plans on doing with her, and if they do plan on redeeming her, I don't know how they'd go about doing it. Her motivations are just so skewed. I don't even know if I'd want to go about redeeming her or even how I would in my comic because her character just makes no sense to me. I can't think of any way that she could be redeemed in a way that'd offer a satisfying amount of closure, but I also can't imagine that she'd be killed off at the end of the game, you know?
Just a really weird character, I guess. Weird villain. Weird motives.
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I feel another fanon debunk session coming over me, and this one’s a BIG one.
Let’s talk about the DickKory breakup, and why it happened.
Yup, we’re going there.
Before we get going though, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: this is NOT an invitation to bash on Kory. There will be no bashing of Kory on this post if I have anything to say about it, and its my post, so I do. So nyah nyah. But seriously like, don’t get my reasons for making this post wrong. I LOVE Kory. I SHIP Dick/Kory. And I don’t actually blame Kory for any of this, no matter how the page I’m about to show makes it appear, for reasons that I will get into later in this post, but like. I really truly don’t. I don’t think the Dick/Kory breakup ultimately was either of their fault. I think it was the painful end result of them both hitting rock bottom due to endless external fuckery with their lives and their minds during the tail end of their relationship, making it all but impossible for them to be there for each other the way they truly needed and WANTED to be....ultimately forcing them to break off and BOTH try and reorder their lives on their own. But IMO, this NEVER actually marked a dissolution of their feelings for each other, no matter what either (particularly Dick) eventually claimed in order to rationalize things to themselves.
I do however think some of the other Titans bear some culpability for not seeing things as they truly were here. I can understand given what they all went through during this time period like, how maybe it became easier to just blame Dick especially as he has a tendency to be so willing to accept blame? And so I think a lot of conclusions were jumped to that at other times they WOULD have spent more time thinking through. But here and now they didn’t simply because they were so relieved to HAVE an easy, simple explanation for things going wrong and someone to blame, someone who ACCEPTED blame. And thus more easily allowing them to speed through to the portion of events where they worked on ‘forgiving him’ for what he’d done so they could all move past it.
Okay, so let me stop talking in code for those of you who have only the faintest idea of what I’m talking about.
Traditional fanon states - and most wiki summaries I’ve seen actually CORROBORATE this, which drives me COMPLETELY up the wall because I would like to have WORDS with whomever wrote each of these wiki summaries - that ultimately, Dick and Kory broke up because they rushed into things with the wedding and both realized they weren’t actually ready to get married.
Let me be clear: this is totally and completely 100% true.
Fanon and wikis go ON however, to conclude that the ‘fault’ lies with Dick, because he was the one who jumped the gun in proposing, and that he only DID so, because he thought getting married would ‘help him finally grow up’ and ‘hit one of the milestones he thought he was missing while everyone else his age that he’d known in high school and stuff were graduating college and getting married and having kids right about now.’ And also that he eventually concluded that he didn’t actually love Kory the way he thought he did and needed to let her go for her sake.
Now let me also be clear: this is also MOSTLY true in the sense that he did eventually THINK these thoughts, some ten or fifteen issues after their crashed wedding, when he was off on his own and thinking through everything that was going on in his life and trying to make sense of the decisions he’d been making lately, most of which he was unhappy with.
The one part that ISN’T true is that last bit, which a lot of people extrapolate from and use as their basis for saying Dick ‘fell out of love with Kory’ and ‘realized that he no longer loved her the way he once had,’ with this leading into why they never got back together after Kory returned to Earth in the Titans revival series in the late 90s.
HOWEVER.
There’s a tiiiiiiiiiny little correction I must make to that last part, which might seem insignificant, but becomes ABUNDANTLY important when added to some other much needed - and much ignored overlooked - context:
Dick never ACTUALLY said or thought that he didn’t love Kory anymore, full stop. What he actually said, in its entirety, was that he realized “he never really loved Kory the way she deserved to be loved.”
Why is this distinction so important? Hang on just a sec, we’re almost there.
Now I would like to share with you, for those who have never seen this page or those who perhaps have forgotten it or its significance, the EXACT page where Dick proposes to Kory, from The New Titans #99, one issue before their wedding special in issue #100. (What’s that? You’re surprised that they got married the very issue after the proposal? You thought that they were engaged for a lengthier period of time? Ohhhh don’t worry, fair readers. We’ll get there. Ohhhh we’ll get there).
But first, those of you who have never actually read this page before, I would like you to take a look at it, and see if you can Where’s Waldo what it is about this page that makes my blood reach a boiling point in excess of 2000 degrees Fahrenheit every time someone utters the words “Dick rushed into marriage because he thought it would make him grow up or hit some important life milestone.”
Take a gander, what do you see:
See it? Get what I’m talking about?
Any talk of Dick and Kory breaking up because they weren’t ready to get married, and Dick having been the one to rush them into it before they were ready, COMPLETELY fails at accurately representing the events of that time if it fails to mention the fact that:
DICK ONLY PROPOSED WHEN HE DID BECAUSE HE WAS DESPERATE TO CONVINCE KORY, HIMSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT HE LOVED HER AND ONLY HER AND SLEEPING WITH MIRAGE HAD MEANT NOTHING!
(Since, y’know, he didn’t actually sleep with her so much as he was raped by her).
I mean, your mileage may vary, but me, I happen to think that bit there is pretty CRITICAL FUCKING INTEL when it comes to this whole matter.
Claiming Dick is to blame because he rushed into marriage because he was looking to grow up or hit some milestone utterly FAILS as an analytical conclusion in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY....
When there is both ZERO indication from him BEFORE the proposal, that those are reasons or thoughts he has that has him leaning towards proposing.....
As well as ZERO reflection AFTER the failed wedding, that being desperate to convince everyone who thought he’d cheated on Kory that he really did love her, was at all a key motivating factor in him proposing when and how he did.
Like it or not, Mirage and the storyline surrounding that is utterly CRUCIAL to the DickKory breakup, because EVERY mention of that describes the cause of that breakup being rushing into marriage, and if you take away that storyline - and every character’s reaction to it - there is absolutely NO reason to even THINK Dick would still have proposed when he did.
And thus, leaving the Mirage story ENTIRELY out of all talk of the end of Dick and Kory’s relationship, is just....blatantly not indicative of what the story actually was.
Now, in addition, I know we tend to talk about this story as though DC sucks for never calling the rape what it was, and say that if DC’s not willing to treat these things as what they really are, they shouldn’t be using them as story points. First order of business: Yes DC sucks a lot and their handling of all this sucked.
BUT.
It is also not entirely accurate to say that they never TREATED this story as what it was.
Because while everyone else may have been fixated on it as Dick cheating on Kory....initially, at pretty much every point UNTIL the wedding....Dick at least was STEADFAST in not considering HIMSELF having cheated. I mean, look at his language in just the page above. He talks about being “repulsed” by what Mirage did. The writers might have never actually called what happened to Dick ‘rape,’ but initially they were VERY consistent in nevertheless writing him as someone who at least to some degree felt victimized by what happened, rather than culpable. He was trying to convince everyone ELSE to see it that way - until eventually he kinda gave up, and started to see it THEIR way.
You can literally see him already starting to make the pivot towards rationalizing that POV to himself in the above page....he talks about ‘thinking with his hormones’ and that leading him to make a mistake, even though his hormones had nothing to do with whether what happened was wrong or not.....it was always entirely about: would he have consented to sex with Mirage IF he knew she wasn’t really Kory. Thinking with his hormones in no way addresses the fact that its completely unreasonable to expect anyone to be so on guard 24/7, even in the privacy of their own bedroom with their own girlfriend, that they have their eyes peeled for an impostor even there.
In fact, imagine what the others would have all said if Dick hadn’t slept with Mirage that night, or else had confided in them later that it felt not right, that something was wrong, at some point BEFORE Mirage entered and told Dick in front of everyone that it had actually been her. How likely do you think it would have been that instead of taking Dick at face value, many of them would have instead viewed this as just another time Dick was exercising “Bat-paranoia” rather than allowing himself to be intimate with a loved one the way normal, non-Batfolk do, y’know? Do you think they would have automatically agreed with him that there was something up and he had reason to feel that ‘something wasn’t right about Kory’ when Dick probably still would have had no idea what for sure he felt was off, let alone that it wasn’t ACTUALLY her? Or would they have gotten on his case about how this is just him self-sabotaging again and letting his issues come between him and someone he cared about?
Tbh, one of the things that was greatest about Dick and Kory’s relationship IMO was that she was one of the best at getting him out of his own head. With Kory, when they weren’t both being jerked around by brainwashing plots and the like, Dick was better at just....letting go and just being himself around her. He didn’t feel like he had to constantly be on his guard or waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ironically, IMO, Dick DOES have a tendency to self-sabotage at times and let paranoia or other issues keep him from totally dropping his defenses and letting himself be vulnerable with other people.....meaning he probably would have been MORE likely to cue into something being off, if it had been anyone BUT Kory he’d been dating when Mirage replaced them.
So bottom line is, you can’t actually fully blame the writing for the others’ reactions to this story. Because whether they ever actually acknowledged it or not, for a good ten to fifteen issues up to the wedding, the writers pretty consistently depicted Dick as someone who was and felt victimized, even if he didn’t consciously realize it yet himself, let alone why. There were repeated moments between Kory initially breaking up with him after it happened through this proposal above, where it basically reads like Dick yelling “Ask me how violated I feel! Go on, ask me!” Except he never really got the chance because he was too busy replying to everyone around him that he hadn’t cheated on Kory, he thought he was WITH Kory, and that was the ONLY reason he had sex that night.
Slight tangent - this btw, is why I can never even get worked up enough about Nightwing Annual #2 to be like, defensive about it. That was the flashback issue written YEARS after all these events, where retroactively Andreyko inserted at some point between this proposal and the wedding - without changing anything else or the events he wrote ever being brought up or acknowledged again - a story where Dick went to visit Babs to personally deliver her wedding invitation....but only AFTER they slept together. And then when he gave her the invitation and she got furious about what had just happened, he just blithely said oh Kory won’t mind, and Babs was like yeah well I MIND!
Which was a totally valid reaction for Babs to have to those events as depicted, its just....I can’t remotely take them seriously, not when I’ve actually READ the events that by Andreyko’s own admission are meant to bookend that story. So you’re telling me, that right after Dick proposes to his longtime girlfriend SPECIFICALLY because he’s desperate to convince her he loves only her and would never willingly sleep with anyone else......he would go and sleep with someone else between then and the wedding? And then just without a hint of remorse say oh what’s the problem, Kory would be fine with it - when literally everything else about the wedding even HAPPENING was based on the fact that he knew for a fact that Kory would NOT in fact, be fine with that? Umm, make it make sense, except you can’t, because that story and the point where it makes sense are in two entirely different galactic quadrants. Green Lanterns couldn’t make it from Point A to Point B. So lol, sorry not sorry, I’m gonna stay not taking that story or claims that Dick is ACTUALLY a cheater, like, remotely seriously. I mean, your mileage may vary, but I especially don’t think anyone who can make excuses for Bruce’s many transgressions being OOC like, has any business trying to pass this particular story off as in character, but WHATEVS. Like, you CAN do it if you really want to, but I mean, I’m just gonna think that’s silly. I’ll be like OMG you’re so silly. Why are you so silly, can we just stop with all the silliness. And then like, I’ll go do something else or whatever.
(Oh and for the record, the wedding was the issue after Dick proposed, but it wasn’t meant to be like, the day after or anything. BUT we do know it was still pretty damn soon after, like at most a week or two....because the concurrent storyline was Roy being upset because the government was trying to shut down the Titans and said they would unless Roy took leadership from Dick and ousted him, which Roy understandably was NOT keen to do, even and especially with everything going on as the Titans were a family first and foremost and he was stuck between trying to preserve them and keep them going and betraying everything they stood for by basically instigating a vote of no confidence in Dick’s leadership.....but point being, Roy kept stalling the government agent asking for his answer......when said agent was very impatient, and asked repeatedly both in issue #99 AND issue #100. So you’re never going to convince me Roy managed to stall said agent for months or whatever, or any longer than a couple weeks at most, to allow for Dick and everyone else to put together a shotgun wedding for him and Kory. Which just further adds to the make it make sense aspect of the above mentioned Annual, but I absofuckinglutely digress).
Anyway.
NOW, let’s bring it back around to when I said like, don’t do the thing, don’t actually blame Kory for any of this, don’t you do it? /paraphrase
Yeah. So we’re there at that point now, and I reiterate once more for the court, like, hey, what if you just don’t? Y’know? Even if you’re looking at her dialogue in the above page I posted and are like, I’m feeling the urge, the urge to.....idk something that rhymes with urge but is bad I guess? Whatever. Just like. Don’t do it. Say nasty things about Kory because of this story three times in front of your computer and I will totally like, be conjured by that and crawl out of your screen all creepy girl from The Ring style. It will NOT be pretty. I am NOT meant to fit through there. I can NOT make it look good. You have been warned.
Okay so like, the reason I say none of this is on Kory even though I don’t make the same distinctions for the other Titans is threefold. No, lbr, its probably more on account of I can’t count and I’m always wrong about this shit. But let’s start with three.
1) The first thing we need to address is the fact that Dick WAS acting erratically and out of character through all of this time, even before what happened with Mirage. This was still in the near aftermath of Titans Hunt, and he was still reeling from that, and holding himself totally accountable. People who’ve followed me for awhile have probably seen me fixate on Titans Hunt before, but I honestly don’t think anyone who hasn’t read the full extent of comics from that storyline all the way through like....The New Titans #115 or so, like.....truly grasps the extent of just HOW much that single storyline affected Dick. He was at rock bottom because of it in a way that is probably only truly comparable with the Blockbuster storyline, but for even LONGER. Like the span of comics I referenced just now covers probably like....almost fifty issues.
That’s fifty issues where Dick consistently brings up his failure to stop that and how much Joey and Charlie and Arella and everyone else’s deaths during that like, just weighs on him, and fucks with his confidence and just.....his overall sense of purpose and self. He WAS lost and aimless for a lot of that time. And he DID absolutely even recognize HIMSELF that it was affecting him. Like ten issues or so after the crashed wedding, when he’s on his own journey of self-discovery while looking for Kory in the Amazon (uh yeah, that’s a thing. I’ll get to that)....like, he acknowledges to himself that ever since the Titans Hunt he’s been getting crazier and more demanding (his words) and he doesn’t even recognize himself anymore...and he attributes all of that to not having come to terms with their deaths and his inability to prevent them.
Now, notably, he DOESN’T ever at this time acknowledge that his behavior took an INCREASINGLY downward spiral ever since Mirage and specifically due to everyone blaming him for what he deep down felt wasn’t actually his fault but was losing conviction in. And quite frankly, even though he SAYS at this point he’s ready to move on from their losses, I don’t think that actually happened, but I’ll get back to both those things. First, the important point here, in terms of Kory, is that from her perspective, Dick had been increasingly unpredictable and not himself ever since the losses during Titans Hunt. Actually, given that she was the one who went with him to the Manor after Jason’s death and the only one who saw him come in and out and who thus knows the full extent of what transpired there - with this all happening not long before Titans Hunt - you could additionally say her awareness of that also has her almost prepared to expect the totally unexpected from Dick at this point.
Does that mean its right? No. But it does mean that its there.
2) Next. Kory was not actually offered the chance by the storyline to internalize what happened between Mirage and Dick from a stable, grounded headspace. Mirage KIDNAPPED Kory and replaced her before she slept with Dick. In the grand scheme of things, what happened to Kory specifically here is probably far from the worst thing that’s ever happened to her, but it couldn’t have been pleasant and I’m the first to yell NO TRAUMA OLYMPICS so in that spirit, fuck whether it was as bad as it COULD have been, and again, just acknowledge that it happened, and its reasonable and expected that it would have a negative effect on Kory. She was targeted and victimized by Mirage too. Not in the same way as Dick, but add that to the fact that unlike the other Titans, she was the one IN the relationship with Dick and thus the only one besides him that had a stake in what Mirage’s actions served as a catalyst for in that regard, like....she was not an impartial bystander to all this, and that needs to be considered. She was PART of it. It was her life that was hijacked by all this too.
3) Third.....it is extremely extremely EXTREMELY important here to acknowledge that Kory is herself a rape survivor. She has extensive trauma from her childhood in the Citadel, and that is bound to color her perceptions of what happened here, at least initially. I am 174% soooooo not here for vilifying another rape survivor in defense of a different rape survivor. Like, I’m just saying.....do not throw Kory under the bus for not acknowledging Dick’s trauma and trauma responses as a rape survivor in this story if you’re not also YOURSELF acknowledging Kory’s OWN trauma as a rape survivor.
This is key not because it says any opinions she had at this time don’t count, but rather that they simply don’t come from the same place as the VICTIM-BLAMING that is the central issue with others holding Dick accountable for his own rape. In Kory’s case, we have to consider the issue of projection. The ways in which her own experiences and how they’ve informed her DEFAULT perception of something that deeply affected her, might skew her initial reaction to experiences which share a LABEL, but not specific ELEMENTS.
What I mean here is both Kory and Dick, as of this point in time, are rape survivors. But they survived very very VERY different kinds of rape. Both were abundantly clear that they DID NOT WANT what happened to them, that they were not willing parties to what actually transpired....but what springs to Kory’s mind when someone says “I didn’t want the sex that happened” is understandably going to look VERY different from what Dick was describing when he said “I didn’t want the sex that happened.” So its not really all that unreasonable for Kory to hold those two things up in her head and say these are not the same, and from there jump to the unfortunate conclusion that Dick HAD wanted it on some level, else it would have looked more like her own experiences...especially because others around them were already voicing and affirming this opinion in various ways.
Again, is this fair, or deserved? No. But I talk all the time with other characters and with Dick himself about how its just not reasonable to expect characters - especially ones with highly CHARGED emotions related to their own parallel experiences - to act from an unbiased state or POV and thus leap to the most ideal conclusion without at least first stumbling through some other ones. So with Kory, her own context with rape simply CAN NOT be divorced from the fact that recognizing the central issue of this later moment in time was that it was a rape. Her own experiences and the likely projection of them onto the moment at hand add a degree of context to conclusions she arrived at that other characters simply do not have....and thus, again, its not okay to paint her with the same brush as all those characters. And unless you’re already somehow making a distinction as to why her reaction is different from others despite superficially appearing the same......then like. You need to be. LOL.
4) The other factor that’s important to consider here is that just like Kory was never offered the chance to RECEIVE information of what happened from a relatively grounded place and headspace....the stories never gave her any real time to think things through, process over time, and arrive at different conclusions from her earlier ones. Again, I talk all the time about how Dick’s experiences with the Titans pre-his time in Bludhaven were colored by multiple instances of brainwashing and his head being fucked with and being personally targeted and jerked around in a ton of ways? The same is true of Kory, and it needs to be given equal weight.
Their wedding was crashed by ‘the dark soul self’ of Raven - who they thought was dead - as she infected Kory with what she called a demon seed that was going to grow a new demon inside of her. Due to her possession, Kory spent weeks in a mental institutition, trying to overcome the entity inside her (with Dick sitting by her side and holding her hand through all of it, just FYI). When she finally did purge the entity from her, Kory took off and ended up in a village in the Amazon, with the ordeal having given her amnesia. Dick went after her, but he’d only just tracked her down when she took off again to foil an alien invasion using radio waves that she was uniquely suited to recognize due to being familiar with their tactics, but which pitted her against most of the rest of the world in like, the Ultimate Gaslighting Showdown as everyone kept telling her she was crazy (she was wearing a tinfoil hat to protect herself from the transmissions, the writers were deliberately not doing her any favors).
Only after that was foiled did she regain her memories, and while off the page she agreed to meet with Dick to talk about their failed wedding and everything that happened afterward, as he’d returned from the Amazon by now, where he’d ultimately come to his own self-realizations about everything (or what we were told to accept were his realizations)....in the end she took off for Tamaran without meeting him, leaving him waiting where they’d agreed to rendezvous. Again, I say this not to vilify Kory, because I absolutely think she made the best choice for herself at the time, and should have, and I don’t think Dick has ever blamed her for that and tbh they both separately came to the same decisions about needing to be apart to recollect themselves and figure out who they were and where to go from here, like, without having to actually talk it out to arrive at the same point. I DO raise this point simply to put out there that in contrast to many other things I’ve seen said about the break up......they....never technically broke up?
Like I mean, don’t get me wrong. They DID. They both considered themselves broken up and eventually moved on with other people, Dick with Babs, and Kory with a general who she married back on New Tamaran before it was destroyed by the Sun Eater (again, Kory went through some SHIT after their break up. Dick wasn’t the only one.) But I just mean like.....it was LITERALLY the most mutual break-up that is possible for a break-up to be, because neither one of them ever actually communicated their intent to the other in order for them to both CLEARLY be on the same page. There was no “Dick called off the wedding” - that never actually happened, it was just....never revisited. There was no “Dick told her he no longer had feelings for her” - that was something that happened later, and yes, I’ll get to that too. OMG shut up me. But also shh I’m talking.
But yeah like.....their break-up, despite being almost universally claimed as Dick’s choice and responsibility, with zero mention of Mirage’s role in it in any official accounting of it I’VE ever seen, and with Kory painted as being the victim of Dick’s wandering ways and not knowing what he wanted in the distant aftermath of their break-up, as it was said that due to being Tamaranean, she loved for life and thus would always be in love with Dick even though he after her return claimed he no longer loved her (like, I don’t blame Kory but I also don’t like takes that act like Dick DID all this to Kory somehow. Like that’s literally the entire point here, neither of them needs to be to blame or each other’s victim according to how the story ACTUALLY went).....
But yeah, despite all that.....it really was the most mutually arrived at decision ever, because neither one of them actually EVER EVEN SAID ‘WE NEED TO BREAK UP’ to the other. They both just....ended up there on their own.
(And also because DC wanted them there in order to secure the rest of their push to put Nightwing solely back in the Batbooks for the next several years. With, don’t forget, this all coinciding with the government forcing him out of the Titans and putting Roy in charge and with this all culminating in Dick having his initial adventure in Bludhaven at Bruce’s ask, and then deciding to make that his new base of operations and kinda reinvent himself there, at the start of his solo title. Again, shout out to the myth of “Dick Grayson always runs from things because commitment issues” - not only did he NOT flee to Bludhaven because he just changed his mind about the wedding and said whoops sorry Kory, it wasn’t even his CHOICE to leave the Titans, even if eventually he agreed it was for the best right now. His ex went back to her home planet and he was asked to leave his team. Why the fuck WOULDN’T he go somewhere else?)
NEXT. (jfc he mumbled to himself under his breath. what the fuck did I start here).
Circling back around AGAIN, this time back to Dick’s STATED reasons for deciding things were over.
Two...umm, fuck it, ‘a number that is more than one’ things that need to be kept in mind HERE:
1) The most crucial bit of context when examining Dick’s journey of self-exploration in the Amazon while searching for Kory and what he comes to say and think about everything that’s happened and his own behavior....
Is that he is an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator at this point in time. Y’know how we talk about Dick having that tendency to take on more accountability than is actually earned and is way quicker to view himself as in need of apologizing than he is to view others needing to do that for him?
Yeah I mean, that’s a thing, I definitely have like a billion citations ready to go on a moment’s notice, but point is, being aware of that tendency means absolutely nothing if you don’t actively APPLY that awareness to Dick’s periods of self-reflection and like....compare and contrast what he THINKS about things he’s said or done with like....what he’s ACTUALLY said or done.
For instance, on the way to his so-called epiphanies about all this, he makes the claim that the entire time Kory was dealing with the demon entity inside of her, he was being so selfish because all he was doing was wishing she would wake up or be free of it so that she could help him with his problems instead. (And just for the record, I can provide actual panels for everything I reference in this post, I’m just limiting myself to a couple because I’m just trying to NOT beat War and Peace’s pagecount as it is. Will I succeed? No. Did I try? Yes.)
Now, Dick spending his time at his possessed fianceé’s side doing nothing but wishing she would snap out of it and focus on his problems instead.....is that selfish of him?
Well, yeah.
But is it TRUE?
I mean, you tell me:
This is right smack dab in the middle of that whole storyline, set only a few issues after the crashed wedding, and before Kory successfully evicts the demon entity and loses her memories. This is literally what Dick was ACTUALLY like the entire time. At the TIME, every single thing he said and did was focused on her.....the CLOSEST he came even in his internal monologue, to making it all about him, was him thinking about how this has shown him just how much he needs her.
Do people helping a loved one through something traumatic occasionally have selfish thoughts where their awareness of their own troubles momentarily supersedes their focus on their loved one? Yeah. Does this actually make them selfish if their ACTUAL focus and actions and words are aimed entirely at their loved ones the whole time, with no single actual detour to “hey, while you’re up, can we talk about me for a sec”?
Mmmmm....I feel like no, but I am open to you drawing other conclusions as long as you are aware that they are wrong and mine is right, kay. I mean okay, fine. You can disagree with me here but I’m still gonna disagree about your disagreement there and its just gonna be this whole big thing and its like, ugh, whatever, y’know?
But hey, you do you.
ANYWAY, point is, unless you draw the wrong conclusion here in which case PTTTHB!, like, I think its safe to say Dick thinking in the midst of his self-awareness deep dive that he was being nothing but selfish during that whole story and thus didn’t deserve Kory, like....whether or not the writers are actually AWARE of it or not, I mean......that’s still a pretty good context clue that his internal monologues at this point in time are maybe a little bit skewed towards being more about accepting blame than reflecting reality, right? Yes, no, maybe so?
Well then again, if you agree with me, then add to that awareness the added bit of trivia that every single other one of Dick’s ‘ultimate realizations’ (he just wanted to get married because he thought it would bring stability to his life, it would help him grow up, hit one of those aforementioned milestones, etc)....like every single one of them.....was an opinion that was FIRST offered by one of the other Titans.
Every. Single. One.
(Wanted to get married for the stability was something Donna said she thought was his reasoning, to the other original Titans. The bit about thinking it would help him grow up was unfortunately ALSO Donna, but said to Kory before the wedding when Kory asked if she thought this was a mistake and if she thought Dick had proposed for the right reasons. The milestones thing was said by either Roy, Garth or Wally, I honestly forget which, but it was when the three of them went out to discuss the pending government takeover of the team and how to break this to Dick with everything else going on).
And with not a SINGLE one of these opinions present in ANY of Dick’s internal monologues BEFORE the proposal, hinting that they were anywhere near being on his radar at THAT point.
So....which makes more narrative sense? That Dick ultimately just realized that everything he THOUGHT was motivating him when he proposed was NOT true and that it was only his friends that clued into his actual reasons, which he must have overheard at some point and internalized in order to have replicated said opinions in his thoughts so exactly? Again with ZERO mention alongside any of this, that peoples’ views of what happened with Mirage was at ALL a factor in his thinking?
Or.....does it maybe better track, that over the course of Dick repeatedly expressing that he didn’t know it wasn’t Kory, that he never wanted to cheat on her, that he loved her and only her and would never knowingly do that....with NO ONE budging and everyone from Kory to all of his best friends acting like his adulterous guilt was an over and done with conclusion and they’d already long since moved on to the point of how willing or not they were to forgive him, based on everything else he’d been going through.....and with Dick thinking that how remorseful he appeared to be and how willing to ACCEPT accountability was likely to play a part in how much people were willing to look past all his recent fuck-ups here.......
Does it maaaaaaaybe actually make a little bit more sense that Dick’s total 180 into taking full responsibility and coming up with all these rationalizations for his actions that essentially just mimic theories everyone else had for his behavior has more to do with his deeply internalized acceptance that nobody was listening to his side of the story or what he was actually trying to say (without even real SELF awareness at the time that what he was feeling wasn’t just��‘I’m innocent of what you’re accusing me of’ but ‘I was violated and used’)?
That it was more about him finding ways to justify to himself getting on the same page everyone else ALREADY seemed to be on in regards to him and his recent behavior, as that seemed to be the only way to move forward, that he was tired of fighting everybody and feeling like he was in the wrong for it so honestly, maybe they were right?
Because from there.....
Its only a veeeeeery short hop, skip and a jump from “well I guess I DID do what they say and I SHOULD have known it wasn’t Kory”.....to.....”since the only thing I kept clinging to for how I couldn’t know was my insistence that I truly loved Kory, and it turns out that I still SHOULD have known anyway......doesn’t that mean that I didn’t really love Kory the way I thought I did? Or as much as I thought I did?”
“Did I never really love Kory as much as she deserved?”
Cuz uh, remember earlier when I talked about it being significant that Dick never ACTUALLY claimed during this time that he didn’t love Kory anymore or fell out of love with her or anything like that, but rather that his precise claim was “I didn’t love her AS MUCH AS SHE DESERVED”?
Aka.....”enough that I would have known it wasn’t actually Kory that I was with?”
Yeah. Uh, that. That’s the significance there. Yeah. So....
2) Now as to something else to keep in mind in regards to Dick’s eventual ‘self-realizations’ - this calls back to when I said earlier that Dick WAS acting erratically during this time, stemming all the way back to the Titans Hunt aftermath. He was overly aggressive, he was ready to fight anyone at a moment’s notice, he was tunnel-visioned.....in short, he was actually quite a lot how the fanon interpretations of his temper I rage about usually depict him. But the key thing here, and the reason why I wouldn’t have a problem with people drawing references from THIS time when talking about him behaving this way.....
Is that much like when Dick was behaving erratically during the Brother Blood storyline, it was with NARRATIVE INTENT.
There, Dick’s behavior led to the reveal that he was lashing out because he was fighting the Church of Blood’s mental conditioning. Here, Dick’s behavior is directly tied to his downward spiral resulting from the trauma of Titans Hunt and his guilt from that.
In both cases, I’d have zero issue with people referencing specific instances of this behavior....
As long as they ALSO reference and acknowledge the specific narrative context that was directly CONNECTED to that behavior. Its not about whether or not it excuses any specific thing he does, its about the fact that while these behaviors did happen, they shouldn’t be depicted as indicative of his OVERALL characterization, because they were specifically and deliberately written into his actions WITH INTENT by the writers, who were trying to use his DELIBERATELY out of the ordinary behavior to arrive at some narrative point or conclusion.
And here, for Dick, that was the eventual realization that he’d never fully dealt with his feelings about the losses during the Titans Hunt.
I don’t like how he acts in a lot of the issues around this time. Its ugly. But its MEANT to be ugly. I don’t like Dick’s fight with Roy when he tells him about taking over leadership because of the government’s interference. I don’t like it AT ALL.
But what I DO like is how the very next page after the fight, after Donna follows Dick out of the room, Dick turns around and acknowledges how out of control he’d just been and said he felt it proved that everyone was right, things HAD gotten to him more than he’d realized or admitted to himself, and it probably was a sign he needed to take a step back, and besides, Kory needed him more than the team did right now anyway.
THAT’S one of the core things I like about Dick Grayson, that almost without exception, his worst actions or behaviors are almost immediately followed by his realization of this and a tangible action or change in his actions to address it. That’s not something every character can claim - in fact, its unfortunately pretty damn rare.
But here’s the problem with that, in this specific scenario:
Dick WAS spiraling, he DID act out in ways he was right to be called out on and to feel guilt about, and there WAS basis for him acknowledging that there was stuff he needed to address in his life and his head, and to take responsibility for.
Thing is though, nobody else at any point ever stood up to point to where in his willingness to hold himself accountable for his mistakes and try and do better in regards to his friends and teammates and overall relationships....
He additionally took on guilt that WASN’T deserved. Because the other Titans were the ones who in their overall rush to judgment about his behavior and the reasons why.....still erroneously lumped in with the rest, their conclusion as to how the situation with Mirage should be viewed.
And frankly, though this doesn’t make them look good, there’s plenty of places you can go with that which don’t make them heartless monsters either. They were wrong, not to listen to him about Mirage, and I maintain that this tangibly WORSENED his already existing downward spiral from Titans Hunt, because that was already stuff he really could have benefited from support for the others from....and then this other thing happened that he additionally really needed support about, rather than blame.
Problem is, the overall impression given off by the other Titans was that they thought they already WERE doing their best to be supportive, by being so willing to look PAST ‘what Dick had done with Mirage’ and FORGIVE Dick for that, make allowances for why it and other decisions they didn’t agree with, like his rush to marriage, might make sense based on what they were attributing as the reason for his out of character behavior....the fallout from Titans Hunt...but ONLY that.
Like to be clear, I’m aware that there is a flip side of things in fanon, where some stans overcorrect on Dick’s behalf and act like the Titans all universally slut-shamed Dick and were terrible to him. No. That’s not what happened either. There was ONE slut-shaming Titan and ONLY one....and that was Pantha, who to be frank, like.....she was literally written to be the button pusher in regards to everyone. She likely would have said the same thing no matter who was in that situation, because she honestly didn’t care, she was just interested in making the cheap jokes at their expense.
The other Titans though did not adopt a slut-shaming stance against Dick...just a victim-blaming one. Which makes some things better, but some things worse IMO.
Its easier to understand how they could have all fallen into this trap despite all being seasoned heroes who should have known better than to view these specific events the way they did....if you consider that their fatal flaw here was ironically that they were SO quick to try and find a reason that Dick might have done this that they felt they could forgive....that they never actually thought things through long enough to recognize how quick on the draw they’d been in their reactions. And then they failed to listen to Dick’s side of things because they’d kinda convinced themselves that they were ALREADY doing him a favor and hearing him out by having decided to look past what he’d done and make allowances for it....and so they kinda filtered everything he was saying through a lens of like...waiting for him to catch up to what they’d already decided had happened and onto the part where he did the Dick Grayson thing and apologized and accepted responsibility for it....at which point they, as his friends, would be honestly able to say “already forgiven, dude.”
You could additionally factor in the idea that their very respect for his capabilities and high opinion of his overall ‘on the ball-ness’ made what had happened easy to view as something that’d just slipped past his radar, a rare oversight that again, he could be forgiven for, rather than what it was....again, something that he should never have been expected to ‘catch’ in the first place, any more than they would have been.
Either way, the real problem was always just that they failed to support him in the ways he actually needed, because they were already busy forgiving him for things he didn’t actually need forgiveness for because they were never his to accept blame for in the first place. But then BECAUSE Dick was already primed to accept the blame for what he WAS right to accept responsibility for, he overextended and took on everything that was held against him, rather than first differentiating between where a mea culpa both was and WAS NOT due.
No matter how you slice it, the Titans WERE wrong on this front, and Dick absolutely DOES have canon grounds to nurse some bitterness and resentment about, towards them. Again, with a lot of ways that can be approached. Personally, when I think about fics tackling this subject, my big want is always gonna be like.....confrontation fics? Like that’s what I’ve always really wanted to see here....like there’s a lot of obviously valid catharsis to be had in fics that have someone walk Dick through what a more objective view of what happened back then and let him finally unburden himself of all that unearned guilt there...BUT all the focus there is typically on that realization of the truth for DICK, that like....there’s almost never any follow-up where that realization is further pursued and extended to the relevant Titans? And tbh, I’ve always viewed that as the far greater ‘crime’ this story executed in regards to Dick’s character....not an overall obliviousness to his own victimization, period, but the fact that he was basically pushed into ACCEPTING a culpable view of events when actually, he’d always KNOWN on some level that it wasn’t really his fault and he had every reason to feel repulsed and angry and violated.
Like, I do obviously view Dick as someone with a large degree of self-awareness, in no small part due to how often he DOES do these introspective deep dives and reflect on events and actions and behaviors, and even though I understand the viewpoint that things look different when applied to yourself than to others, I do think its perfectly likely that Dick would at some point come to his own realization about what had actually happened with Mirage and why he’d initially felt the way he did about it. Maybe not before the events with Tarantula, but in the aftermath? I think he absolutely would connect certain things then, even if just because of how FAMILIAR everything felt to that earlier time post-Titans Hunt. The Blockbuster arc was like, the most rock bottom Dick had ever been SINCE that point, and various similarities could have definitely been pinging all over for him....the losses he suffered reminding him of his guilt for the fallen Titans, the end of Dick and Babs’ relationship, while based on more reasons than just Tarantula kissing Dick, like, still including that as a reason and so thus bearing an uncomfortable similarity to the last time he was held accountable for his rapist and now eventual rapist’s actions, etc.
And I do think that Dick having some realizations of his own post-Blockbuster could explain a LOT about his later interactions with the Titans, who I honestly don’t think he was ever quite as close to again?
Which makes a ton of sense if you view the 1999 series, and how difficult it was for them to get Dick to join up, and how he was plenty ready to leave at any point...like, that makes a TON of sense if you consider that Dick might have at this point been quietly nursing hurt of his own that everyone was so eager and willing to let bygones be bygones and ‘forgive’ his mistakes of the past, that nobody still had ever realized what he’d had to realize all on his own....that THEY all had a perception of events and like, their friendships, that included forgiving Dick for a betrayal that Dick NEVER ACTUALLY ENACTED. Where its like, thanks, but I didn’t actually need that, what I needed was someone to listen to me. But at the same time its totally understandable why he wouldn’t ever want to bring that up himself....because he’d already TRIED expressing himself on this matter years before, and been shot down, and its totally reasonable that he worried history would just repeat there rather than bring him the closure he WANTED on that front. But again....the distance he keeps a lot of the Titans at after his return to the team pairs pretty damn well with him being both quietly resentful of forgiveness he never needed and wondering when it was everyone else’s turn to accept the accountability for wrongs done that everyone was always so quick to demand from him....as well as why the last thing in the world he’d want to do is bring this all up again himself.
Similarly, this is why I think he always expressed to Kory, ever since her return to Earth, that he wasn’t in love with her anymore.....I don’t think its necessarily true that his feelings ever fully went away, and I also don’t think he’d bear the same resentments towards her that he did the others, even though Kory too ‘forgave’ him for something he never needed absolution for. Because I think at the same time, he’s more aware than most of Kory’s own history, and he has too much empathy for what all that likely stirred up for her at the time as well as his awareness that she really did love him and always had and that she’d mourned their relationship just as much as he had.
So I truly don’t think Dick blames her, in ways that can’t be said of the others, and I don’t think it was truly that he didn’t love her anymore, or that there was no longer anything there....I think he always just said that in order to protect himself, because he was still hurting from everything that had happened back then and how everyone had always painted it as his fault ever since, and his own traumas had only compounded those very specific feelings with later events like Tarantula and her impact on his life, and its just like......I think if it ever came out via someone else re-raising the issue, Dick would be like okay, yes, absolutely let’s finally talk about this....but I totally understand why Dick would never want to re-raise it himself because....he definitely did TRY to express his violation way back when. Why should he be the one to have to essentially.....retry his own case with his friends in order to finally get the verdict he should have had all along, y’know?
Its one thing to get that its probably never going to happen without initiating it himself, but its another thing for that to get you past the hump of just not wanting to relive some of your worst moments when your best friends not believing in you or being so willing to believe something about you in some ways did just as much damage to you as the actual initial violation.
But again, all that said, I would absolutely like, rob the Louvre (Okay I’d also rob the Louvre just for money but like. You get it) for stories where one of the Titans has an ‘oh shit’ realization about everything with Mirage years later. And they tentatively try and bring it up with Dick in the hopes of ‘fixing things’ by correcting the damage they’d done when making him feel it was his to accept blame on.....and for Dick to just be like. “Yeah, uh, I was there. I figured all that out a long time ago, I just didn’t see the point in trying to convince everybody twice.” And them like....being like oh crap we have to figure out a way to make things right, like all this time we’ve thought things were kinda broken between us because of what Dick did but actually it was the other way around and about Dick’s feelings about what WE did.
Okay now like....don’t laugh but I’m literally still not done, because I had this whole other thing about how now we needed to finally talk about the Zitka in the room, which is that IMO its always been kinda backwards to view Tarantula as the focal point of Dick’s traumas here and what happened with Mirage as some kind of footnote kinda....personally I think it should be the other way around. That its Mirage that weighs on Dick the most because what she did was premeditated where with Catalina it was a crime of opportunity. With Miriam though, it was always going to happen no matter what, because it only happened because she MADE it happen. She like....stalked Dick pretty much from the time of her arrival in this timeline (or at least how that initially was viewed - the timeline thing, not the stalking thing. Forget it. Weird story is weird. Doesn’t matter). But like....Mirage went after Dick with intent. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she was willing to do whatever to make it happen, up to and including kidnapping Dick’s actual girlfriend and taking her place.
With Tarantula, like, she was more than quick to seize on the first opportunity to make it happen, but like...that’s still a different thing IMO from like...KNOWING that someone literally plotted out and premeditated one of the most disruptive traumas of your life without any care for what it would DO to your life, and you later carrying all the blame for that in everyone else’s eyes without anyone ever acknowledging what it did to YOU....even though MULTIPLE people know and its even affected your overall reputation. With Tarantula....I think that trauma absolutely compounded everything else that happened with Blockbuster but it was hardly limited to just that, but again with Mirage....that one specific act pretty much derailed the entire course of Dick’s life at the time. Because again....while you could absolutely claim that there are other issues Dick and Kory might have broken up because of later, even without Mirage’s actions, like....you have to MAKE the case for those reasons. You can’t just attribute their breakup to rushing into marriage, when again....Mirage was the literal catalyst for Dick proposing when he did.
Which again, to bring it all back to the start.....that’s why it will forever make me channel Gar Logan and turn into a green-hued screeching howler monkey every time people are like I absolutely agree that its not okay to blame Dick for his own rape at Mirage’s hands....but then turn around and be like okay, but Dick and Kory did break up because Dick rushed them into marriage before they were ready.
Cuz.
Like.
THEY’RE THE EXACT SAME THING!
The one is just the other but described from a different vantage point.
faslkfhaklfhaklfhkalfha
I get if people didn’t know that before now, but please please please can we like....push back against the misinformation on this particular topic because omggggg is it unpleasant to repeatedly hear people contradict themselves in the same paragraphs half the time because they literally don’t know that they’re talking about the same events in both cases.
Believe it or not, I actually had a lot more about Mirage and about other ways things could have gone differently for Dick and Kory if he’d had even just a little more support from someone else at the time, whether from Bruce or even just one of the Titans, like all it would have taken was just ONE person to try and view things from Dick’s perspective and be like okay everyone hold up, some bad fucking conclusions have been arrived at here.
BUT I am tired and this is long and literally just...whatever. I’ll do that some other time. LOL. And I bounce.
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One Call Away — P. M.
Phone Sex with Peter Maximoff
GN!Reader
Warnings: sub!peter, masturbation, joi (male receiving)
A/N: What can I say except that I'm a slut for a certificate @whiiiiplaaaaash
It was late when Y/N got the call, 23:47 to be exact, and with the time being as it was, it was natural for them to worry about what would warrant a call at such an hour. Seeing the name, for a second Y/N saw red.
"Peter?" They asked, picking up quickly, a worried undertone to their voice, nerves only growing at the unsteady breathing that met their ear.
Those nerves however were quickly washed away once Peter spoke, "Y/N!" He was enthusiastic and breathed what sounded to be a sigh of relief, "I almost thought you wouldn't pick up."
Relaxing, Y/N sat up and rested against the beds headboard, they frowned slightly, "Is something wrong, baby?"
"No, uh.." Peter paused for a second and Y/N could hear the flustered tone that laced his words, "I just needed to hear your voice."
Y/N was familiar with that phrase and a sly smile made its way onto their face, "You're touching yourself, aren't you, Peter?" He didn't answer, but the way his breath hitched at Y/N's words was an answer enough, "You know you could be here in seconds, I'd happily help you."
Catching themself in the mirror on the other side of the room, Y/N checked themself out as they awaited Peters response, winking to their reflection and mouthing a 'looking good'.
"I can't, the professor has me on lockdown," Peter let's out an irritated sigh, "Practically grounded me like a kid.." He mutters under his breath with a whine, causing Y/N to chuckle.
"I guess I'll have to help you from here, huh?... How about I tell you what to do, would you like that puppy?" Y/N's grin grew larger, sliding down the headboard till they were laying down again, throwing the phone onto the pillow next to their head and setting it to speaker. Although they couldn't see Peter, they could vividly imagine him and all the little expressions he'd make.
Peter let out a hum in response, breath shuddering, "Please."
The Cheshire grin on Y/N's face widens, "Do as I say and don't lie to me, I'll know if you do, puppy, you're no good at keeping secrets."
On the other end, Peter let out a whine, he was absolutely desperate, Y/N didn't know but he'd been trying to get off for the past half hour and by now it was almost painful, he just prayed that Y/N was feeling generous tonight. Though generosity was a rare feeling that often came with difficulty, if Peter was going to cum tonight it wasn't going to be easy.
"Let's take it slow, okay? I know you've already been touching yourself so let go for now." Y/N instructs, Peters huffs before reluctantly removing his cock from his grasp, he'd hoped Y/N hadn't picked up on the defiance but it wasn't often they missed such things, " I want you to play with your nipples for me, is that okay baby?"
"Y/N, p—"
"Y/N?"
"... Master, please.. I'm already so desperate for you." Peter begs, voice cracking in a way it does only in his neediest of states.
Y/N bit their lip, rubbing their thighs together, "And I'll allow you release soon, my love," They say, much more tenderly than their other words, "But only if you follow my instructions like a good boy first."
After a moment without complaint from Peter, Y/N continued, "I want you to play with your nipples baby, you do such a good job with mine.. I know you won't be able to use you mouth on yourself but your fingers do some fine work too," praises are littered between their commands, reiterations of past events, with the knowledge that they'd motivate Peter, "I want you to feel as good as I can without being there with you, just start off light and work you way up.. I'll play with myself with you, if you'd like."
Peter hummed, a rather wordless 'please', as he began to do as Y/N asked.
"Use your words, baby."
"Yes, please.. I'd like that, master.." He says, a soft whimper on the 'master' which caused Y/N to bite their lip.
"You can start to move down, puppy." Though Y/N wanted to tease Peter for longer, they were somewhat selfish wanting to be able to touch themself without having to wait for Peter to start doing so too, "Just keep things simple for now, baby, up and down at a steady and slow pace."
Peter closes his eyes, a small moan escaping his lips as his hand reunited with his cock. He obeyed what Y/N said, flicking his wrist from the base to the tip, trying not to buck his hips and ruin the rhythm, knowing his luck Y/N would hear the bed creaking if he dared do that.
"You know when I jerk you off how I like to run my thumb over your tip, or run a finger along that one vein... Applying extra pressure to it? How about you go ahead and give that a try, and don't try to keep quiet, I know the walls can be thin but I hate to hear such pretty sounds being wasted into a pillow or arm... "
As Y/N spoke, their hand moved downwards to sneak under their pyjamas, Peter's sharp gasp as he did as told encouraging them.
"Good boy."
"Please, master, I just.." Peter paused to let out a groan, "I need more, I.. I need you.."
"Awe.. I know, baby, I want you too and you can have me all you'd like tomorrow, but for now this will have to make do... Are you doing as I say?"
About to hum, Peter stopped himself to answer properly, "Yes, God, yes I am."
"And that still isn't enough for you?" A strangled cry answers Y/N, "How greedy of you.. Well, I suppose I can think of something that might just tip you over the edge.."
Peter's head tipped back, closing his eyes in concentration as he continued to jerk himself off, thinking of what Y/N was to suggest, if it was the Polaroids he kept of them in his bedside table drawer those were already out and spread across his bed beside him, one taking home in his free hand.
"When you're being a brat, you do this thing.." Y/N starts, holding back moans as they spoke, "You like to be a tease and vibrate, as much as I scold you for it.. Fuck me, if it isn't one of the best feelings ever... Have you ever tried it yourself, baby?"
Peter thought for a second, sure when he first found out he could vibrate as a result of his super speed he'd thought about using it on himself an awful lot, he'd never actually tried it though. He shook his head, forgetting for a second that Y/N couldn't see him and then blushed at his momentary stupidity.
"No, Master."
"In that case, I think you know what i want you to do."
And he did, granted he hesitated, trying anything new was bound to be daunting but he'd done this before... Just not like this. A bright blush spread across Peter's face, gracing the tips of his ears as he thought of Y/N watching him right now and how much they'd love a sight such as this.
The sounds that came from the silver haired boy were like a sweet melody, granted the quality wasnt the best with a slight grain overlaying it, but to Y/N nothing sounded better.
Peter was practically fucking his vibrating hand at this point, a string of profanities leaving his mouth in want and tears brimming his eyes, but he didn't dare cum without permission.
"Having fun, puppy?" Y/N asked, the answer obvious, "We can have even more fun tomorrow, I haven't decided what we'll do yet but I'm sure that box in my wardrobe that you love so much will come out to play."
A high pitched whine made its way from the back of Peter's throat and Y/N could tell he was close.
"You know if you want to cum, baby, all you have to do is ask." They tell him, but it was rarely as simple as that.
"Uh-huh... Please," Peter paused, unable to speak between his moans, "Please can I cum."
"Do you think you deserve it?"
Peter's brows furrowed at the question but he answered it nevertheless, ".. Yes, master."
"Hmm, really? Then go ahead, sweet boy."
Whenever he came, Peter always made the same expression and it was a proper shame that Y/N couldn't see it now; his eyes shut tight, brows scrunched and jaw slack as he allowed release to wash over him. His chest heaved up and down, recovering and steadying his breath.
"Fuck, Y/N... God, thank you so much.." Peter forced out between breaths, "I know it's late, but I really needed that," He glanced at the clock absentmindedly, "I should probably go n—"
The silver haired boy was cut off by Y/N, "Not at all baby, do you really think that's it? I haven't cum yet, and for waking me up I want you to cum at least two more times!"
And there it was, the technicality Peter had neglected to think of when being allowed to cum so easily, but upset wasn't what he felt, rather he was filled with a joy and excitement soon ready to go again... Maybe this time on video call instead.
A/N: this feels quite different to what I've wrote before in the past and I'm honestly not the most confident with it, I'd love to revisit sub!Peter again another time with a topic I feel I may be better writing such as his first time or perhaps pegging... Let me know what you guys think though!
To be added to a taglist, please send an ask or dm specifying the fandoms/characters you'd like to be tagged in the fics for!
#peter maximoff x reader#Quicksilver x reader#Marvel x reader#Mcu x reader#X men x reader#Evan peters x reader#Gender neutral reader#Male reader#Female reader#One shot#Imagine#Drable#Headcanon#Marvel#Mcu#Wandavision#Peter maximoff#Xmen#X-men#Evan peters#Quicksilver
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Top 10 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2020
Well now, it has certainly been awhile. I'm currently sitting at eight months too late for posting this, but, y'know, something something life happens. More accurately, I already made this list, but wanted to try out what response I'd get from Reddit. Turns out, they're not as cool as you guys!
Anyways, as the title states, this is not a list of my favorite anime that came out during 2020, but instead my favorite anime that I just so happen to see during that year. While it's fun to have an end of the year retrospective, I find that having a list in this format not only adds variety, but also helps bring attention to anime that might have been lost in the shuffle in previous years (I also don't have enough time to stay caught up in seasonal releases).
Honorable mentions:
Aggretsuko S3, My Hero Academia S4, Today's Menu For the Emiya Family, Interspecies Reviewers (yes, really), and I Couldn't Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job
10. Maid-Sama (2010)
In hindsight, I find it a bit funny that I wanted to watch something wholesome to kick off 2020. Anyway, Maid-Sama is about a high school girl that is also a no nonsense Class President and she kind of has to be at a school where, until recently, was an all boys school. While she kills it in academics and is good at shutting down any shenanigans from the male student body, her financial situation isn't the greatest and has to balance a job at a maid cafe along with her school-related responsibilities. She does her best to hide her employment there to keep up appearances, but is one day found out by one of the boys who happens to be a big flirt and, yeah, hijinks ensue. While this anime doesn't have too many surprises, our main leads bounce off each other well enough to keep me entertained. Nothing I haven't seen already in other anime Rom-Coms, but I think it has more than earned its place at the start of this list.
9. Haganai NEXT (2013)
It's a personal rule of mine when making these lists that I don't include sequels of shows that were in previous lists. While I DID see the first season of Haganai a couple of years ago, it didn't quite make it into the top ten at that time. Because of that, it meets the criteria for this year's list. While I found the characters were just as charming here as I did during the first season, the development of their relationships really took off. It's a shame that it will most likely not get a third season, but I'm happy with what ride this show gave me. But hey! At least I can read the light novels/manga to continue the story! Wait, nevermind, the Haganai fans on Reddit are saying that's a bad idea.
8. Engaged to the Unidentified (2014)
Based off of a Four Panel joke manga, Engaged to the Unidentified tells the story of a girl in high school suddenly getting some life changing news. As it turns out, her grandfather made an arranged engagement with her and the son of a family he knew. Next thing she knows, the boy in question, as well as his little sister, moves into her family's house! While the boy is unassuming at first, there may be more to him and his family than he lets on. Plain and simple, this anime has charmed me. There's a decent amount of drama and mystery despite the source material and I applaud it! Even though this also doesn't have much new to offer, even to the point where I would compare this to Maid-Sama, what made me pick this at the 8th spot were the color choices and animation quality. Give this a shot if you can!
7. Grimoire of Zero (2017)
It's a fantasy/adventure story starring a loli sorcerer and a huge, anthropomorphic white tiger man. I honestly can't say anything else. I won't be able to do it justice. That first sentence should intrigue you a lease a little bit. Read it, again. Please check it out. It's an underrated gem that no one is talking about.
6. ID: Invaded (2020)
Hey, here's something recent! Unfortunately, this is also not something I can say much about. There may not be too many deep characters and the secret bad guy isn't hard to figure out, but BOY is this anime cool! The best way to describe this series is that it's like the movie Inception, but instead of brain heists, it's brain murder mysteries.
5. Carole and Tuesday (2019)
A runaway rich girl has a fated meeting with an orphan and they decide to make music together...oh, this also takes place Mars. Joking aside, this show was something special with its music (a new song almost every episode no less), interesting setting (freaking Mars, dude), and endearing main cast. Shoot, the music itself would be top 3, maybe number 1, but what bogs it down is the show's second half. I can easily see myself watching this again someday, and maybe my opinion will lighten up, but for now, 5 is a dang good spot.
4. Fate/Grand Order: Absolute Demonic Front - Babylonia (2019)
Part of me hesitates placing this high up on list due to this show being animated, fan service spectacle for Fate fans. However, that hesitation is overshadowed by the fact that I am a Fate fan myself and I can do whatever I want with this list. Even if you're not a Fate fan or play FGO, if you enjoy some solid fight animation, this is worth a look.
3. K-On S1 (2009)
I'll admit it, I might regret not watching the second season then putting the series on the list as a whole, but this how I've been doing these lists and I'm such a creature of habit. There's not much I can say about K-On that hasn't already been said. By itself it's an anime classic and one of Kyo-ani's biggest properties. It's a sweet and wholesome watch, but be sure to have some insulin within reach.
2. Princess Principal (2017)
Imagine you're working with a team of programmers trying to make a mobile game then all of a sudden someone asks to make a show out of it. You know, a show with different character motivations, plot, twist and turns and all that? Most might say that's just a shameless, shallow cash grab, but it turns out okay for Princess Principal. Sure, most might summarize this anime as, "cute girls doing espionage things," but with its cast, visuals, and interesting alternative timeline, it works! Apparently there's a new season or movie in the works and I am all for it!
1. Beastars (2019)
I was not expecting this to be number one, but with much deliberation (with myself obviously) this feels right. It tells a pretty unique story while showing itself to be the exception to the rule when it comes to 3D anime.....it being that it's actually good. While I acknowledge that shows like K-On are classics and deserves to be number one on many different lists, it didn't line up with my personal criteria like Beastars did. My biggest deciding factor is: Now that I've watched this, do I want more? It's true that while I'm excited to start K-On S2, Beastars intrigues me more and ever since season two was announced, I'm looking forward to that more.
Sorry again for this list being so late, but at least the silver lining is that the next end of the year list is about four months away (in theory)!
#anime#k-on#beastars#princess principal#fate grand order#carole and tuesday#id invaded#grimoire of zero#engaged to the unidentified#haganai#maid sama
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A Deconstruction of The Flame Keeper’s Circle & The Audience’s Common Complaints | Catgirl
As the title states, I’ve been reminded of a couple complaints made about this episode that stem from a large portion of the audience’s general disliking of the way both Ben and Julie were handled during the run of Ultimate Alien. In fact, I recently read a "review" of “The Flame Keeper's Circle,” or, more of a parody, actually, since a review would actually have some kind of substance to it and not just...a slew of insults thrown at a show you claim to like. It's almost like you're looking for something to be mad at, but anyway.
One of those was the OP actually asking someone to (probably joking, but anyway) explain "how Ben's mind works" to them.
And I was like, gladly!
According to the comments under the review, it seems like the general audience didn't really like this episode all that much when it first aired. Which, I bring up because, I on the other hand, actually did. And for a reason: because it proves my previous defence points right.
There's a lot of talk about Ben coming off as a “jerk” or a “douchebag”...but, in a situation such as the one presented within “The Flame Keeper’s Circle,” I would argue he did exactly what he should have done. So that's where I beg to differ.
This episode puts Ben in a position where he, once again, needs to deal with the overlap of a romantic relationship and his priorities as a superhero. The only reason there is conflict here is because they are both important to him.
A bad boyfriend would only care about himself, but Ben clearly cares about not only the safety of his (clearly, quite naive) girlfriend, but also the safety of the rest of the earth. Which, as I’m going to be stating several times, should be something expected of him considering everything else within the series that establishes who he is as a character.
So, on the topic of things that are important, ask yourselves, why would Ben prioritize going along with Julie's idea of joining a cult more than keeping her, and the rest of the world, safe when he realizes the trouble she could potentially be getting herself into?
Throughout the episode, and the fandom’s discussions from what I’ve seen, there is so much focus on "oh, he laughed at her idea so he's a douchebag and therefore a bad boyfriend" and not enough focus on the fact that he's not blindly following an alleged “good cause” because he isn't naive and that's in character based on everything we know about him as a character.
Context matters. And this kind of thing only further makes me question the people who want to cry "inconsistent" writing or characterization because he's acting the way he's been conditioned to.
Arguably from the age of ten, Ben's been dealing with situations where he needed to fight to survive and decide who to trust. Sometimes he trusted the wrong person, which wasn't done out of any other reason besides wanting to help and do the "right thing."
For example, Michael Morningstar in the episode “All That Glitters,” who fooled Ben and his team into thinking he was innocent all while abusing school girls for their life energy and almost killing Ben's cousin.
Or, Simian in “Birds of a Feather," who fooled Ben into thinking he was royalty and into helping him steal something that would aid the Highbreed in their mass murder plot.
In that way, Ben and Julie could have related in this situation because they were both trusting people in the interest of doing something “good.” Both Michael and Simian made Ben believe that they had something in common, or a common goal they could work together to reach. But, he trusted them blinded by his ambition and drive to save the world. Much like Julie is blinded by the promise of being a part of a group trying to make the world a better place.
As such, Ben has made the mistake before, so he's extra weary of how things could go very wrong. He's not against his girlfriend just to be a “jerk” - he's been through things like this before, and we’ve seen him go through those things.
Furthermore, the situation in which Julie is trusting The Flame Keeper’s Circle involves her indirectly agreeing to work with Vilgax. Who, as anyone familiar with Ben should know, is one of if not Ben’s biggest, and more importantly, most dangerous enemy.
Again, she, at the beginning didn’t know that he was involved, or what Ben had gone through already to make him act the way he does in this situation, but she does know what his job entails at this point in the series. She should probably infer that he’s suspicious for a good reason, as should the audience.
Not trusting people blindly is something he learned from being the leader of his team, while trying to protect the earth, namely from the Highbreed invasion back in Alien Force when he was putting together a stronger team. It would only make sense for him to then apply that to a situation in which his significant other gets roped into that which he fights against.
Speaking of fighting against, that brings me to another odd criticism of the writing of this episode. It’s no surprise that the flawed belief of Ben coming off as an alleged “sociopath” is brought up again, considering this episode takes place after The Ultimate Kevin arc. And yes, I realize the problematic connotations of using that term as a borderline insult as part of the issue here. But that aside, in this episode, the fact that he begins to fight Vilgax in his apparent “weakened” state is what is being attributed to that description.
Besides the fact that defending Vilgax is questionable in itself, he’s never needed water to survive for the many times he actually tried to kill Ben. I can’t find a solid answer from a writer that knows for certain if his need for water is genuine except for one who is only assuming that is the case when he’s in this state.
But regardless, (since he clearly survived long enough to morph with Dagon and become a bigger threat to the earth later on) we are still defending Vilgax the LITERAL INTERGALACTIC WARLORD.
Y’know, the guy who’s only in this position because of his own immoral actions? Who absolutely would not hesitate to take advantage of his opponent's weakened state in order to further get away with his immoral actions? Such as he is in this very episode, taking advantage of the people wrongfully worshiping him?
If we are trying to imply that Ben is “just as bad as Vilgax,” then I would assume you’d easily find the flaw in that being Ben’s motivation for incapacitating a dangerous offender who is, at the moment, manipulating naive humans to work for him and help him continue get away with his immoral actions. Which is, needless to say, not the same as Vilgax, at all.
Again, you’d think that’d be obvious.
The Flame Keeper’s Circle’s mission is to end human suffering and find a solution to certain issues happening across the globe with the help of alien technology that is much more advanced than what everyday people are used to. And, while the end goal seems like a good cause, even something Ben as a superhero would be all for, the means through which they attempt to get there aren’t a good idea, at all.
A lot of people find it hard to navigate the use of technology considered advanced by human standards in the real world, so you can only imagine the various things that could go wrong if those kinds of people were suddenly exposed to something much more powerful. In short, a lot could go wrong.
Again, Ben has been in that exact position as soon as he was armed with the Omnitrix. Which is exactly why he’d see the flaw in what these people are trying to do, and therefore not be convinced that it’s such a good idea to allow them to continue, much less endorse it.
This is why I love when the writers actually allow Ben to speak for himself instead of cutting him off for drama or plot. Once he actually gets a word in, or more accurately, has his moment of heroic monologue, he makes himself very clear and, I think, only further proves what I’m trying to say about him.
Here he is, explaining exactly what I’ve been trying to highlight throughout this body of work:
Ben: “Even if Dagon was real, using alien technology to accelerate a planet’s natural development won’t bring utopia, it’ll bring disaster. It’s happened before. Why do you think the Plumbers have those laws? But even that’s not the point, because that isn’t Dagon! His name is Vilgax. He’s not a hero, he’s a selfish, evil warlord who’s using you. And if you let him get in his ship, he’s going to fly off and start an interstellar civil war.”
It’s not that only he can use alien technology to save the world, it’s that his status as a hero proves that he knows what he’s doing, unlike these businessmen in fancy robes leading a cult for profit.
That is not what I would have assumed reasonable people would consider “douchebag behaviour.” That’s actually smart, and going back to my first point, exactly what he should be doing in a situation like this.
The actual episode does end off on a positive note for both Ben and Julie, which is omitted from the review and most of the comments I have read from others on the topic. And, I bring it up because it’s actually vital to wrap up everything brought up within this episode that I have just expanded on. Not only because they make up and seem to understand each other’s perspective after all is said and done, but because they both agree to be open to further discussion on the topic, as Ben offers to go out for dinner.
Which, needless to point out I hope, but once again, is not “douchebag behaviour.”
#new essay to make up for all the drama lately#enjoy ben 10 protection squad <3#ben 10#ben tennyson#ben 10 ultimate alien#the flame keeper's circle#benlie#julie yamamoto#ben 10 uaf#essay files#and yes new essay title format cuz reasons :P
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Heyo! Love your writing 💖 from most to least, who in the adultrio is most touch starved and how do they deal with it in a relationship? 👀👀👀👀
Hi! This is cute and sad at the same time, but I'll make it all better and fluffier ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧
Thank you for the request and I hope you'll like it! 😄
Warning: very long, a bit sad because of their pasts, some personal analysis based on common HxH knowledge, gut feeling and theories
A/N: literally poured my heart and soul, especially for Chrollo and Hisoka, because I feel really bad for what they had to go through and how twisted they can be, when things could’ve been so different
So the way I see things is as follows:
From the most touch starved to the least (they all are, absolutely, but the explanation will be below for each character):
Chrollo -> Hisoka -> Illumi
Why? Lemme demonstrate.
Chrollo
since he was probably abandoned at birth in Meteor City, he’s already missing the parents’ loving touch
Meteor City seems to be one of the harshest environments in the Hunter x Hunter universe, probably being second only (at least for me) to the Dark Continent, since that one is just nuts
because of where and how he grew up, he probably never felt anything... good, in terms of touching, affection, love etc.
Chrollo loved no one and no one loved him
not truly and not for what he is
but mostly for his looks, his power, the things he could probably acquire for them
the Spiders are the only ones who accept him as a leader and a friend, a mentor, but even so, they don’t seem that close
and he does seem like the type of person who craves it, so badly
especially after hearing about it, seeing other people do it and even reading all those romance books and poems
but he’s terrified of letting anyone that close to him and seeing him for who he is
not even he knows who he is for sure, so he is just really confused
and all those moments where he touched someone and even seemed like he cared were all lies
Chrollo actually doesn’t really get much comfort from doing it because it’s a total stranger and even though he’s the bad guy, maybe they are bad too
now, if he does get into a relationship, it’s going to be tough
he’s always searching for a catch, a lie, an ulterior motive
so you have to be very patient and actually take it easy
always ask him if he’s okay with what you’re going to do
he’ll always appreciate that and make him feel like he doesn’t have to act or lie or feel pressured into doing something he doesn’t want
if he really loves you and cares, he will slowly give in to the temptation and allow you to get closer to him step by step
maybe not immediately, but he’ll definitely start reciprocating and even initiating those affectionate gestures
and it makes Chrollo so happy when you respond positively because he needs some sort of validation that what he’s doing is okay, you’re comfortable around him, you accept him, you love him, you won’t hurt him in any way
if there’s anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell him, because there’s nothing more he hates than hurting someone he actually cares about
overall, in the end, he’ll be pretty affectionate and romantic with you because your affection, touches, intimacy, domesticity and love that you offer him allow Chrollo find a part of himself, a more human one that he most probably thought he didn’t even have
Hisoka
in Hisoka’s case, I’d like to mention the fact that he had his mother
for how long, we don’t know, but he was taught how to do some magic tricks by her
I do think that maybe they weren’t that close, but his mother could be somewhat affectionate at times
which is probably why he remembers the fact that she taught him pretty fondly
remember the fact that Hisoka doesn’t normally care about the past, so this must’ve been something pretty significant to him and still is, since he employs cards and magic tricks into pretty much everything he does
now, about how touch starved he is?
very
not as much as Chrollo, but certainly not that less either
like I said, he had a parent, his mother, so there was some family bonding and some motherly love (at least a bit), whereas Chrollo had nothing
that doesn’t mean that Hisoka isn’t touch starved
but he doesn’t really pay much attention to that
he probably has a lot of one night stands since he seems to be so... flirty and easily excitable and extroverted
maybe he really is shy, like he said? probably in a relationship and when he is vulnerable, but I’ll get to that in a moment
even with all the one night stands and his personality, Hisoka doesn’t really feel anything, at least not emotionally, when touching or being touched
only physically
and he likes it, but that would be it, he doesn’t feel any emotional connection to anyone
but in a relationship, an actual, real, romantic relationship, things would be different
Hisoka’s going to be flirty, teasing, even mean sometimes
especially when you actually seem to want to know more about him - as a person, his past, his hobbies, anything regarding him, not the persona he has made for himself
but, again, patience and don’t go overboard
it’ll feel like an intrusion
also, yes, touchy, very
but... it doesn’t really feel like anything more than something purely physical and if you tell him to stop, he'll listen and back off
it’s all about pleasure and if you get none, he’ll feel as if he did badly
so he’d rather not have to deal with that
just like Chrollo, he’s protecting himself and his heart
because pretty much no one wanted to be with him, but for the benefits he’d bring them
not that he really let others too close either - whoever did get too close and betrayed him died painfully, I know for sure
but you’d probably start breaking down those walls slowly, in time
he will share things about himself and let you witness it, but not too much and not too often
not really into talking about his past, but again, snippets, not everything
Hisoka’s scared that you’ll use what you find out about him against him
but once he realises that yes, he can trust you and yes, he can be himself?
all bets are off
touchy, flirty, teasing, but in a very... let’s say, lighthearted way, very focused only on the two of you?
the creepy flirting and whatever is reserved for whoever he wants to fight/kill
but with you, it’ll be a lot more romantic and affectionate
will absolutely love having you close physically and touching you constantly
feels recharged and happy when he’s close to you
will definitely be almost like a different person sometimes because he’ll allow himself to be relaxed and comfortable and vulnerable around you
Hisoka likes having someone like you to rely on and be able to talk to about his thoughts and fears (not many, but still), even if it doesn’t really happen that often
but, bottom line is, he trusts you, a lot more than he’s probably trusted anyone in his entire life and will be more honest with you as well
Illumi
for Illumi, I’ll have to say that it’s his family
yes, they trained him to be an assassin and was pretty much just a test subject for Kikyo and Silva since he is a boy and the oldest
but, still, he had a family that, in a way or another, was there for him, preparing him, helping him and providing him with whatever he needed and maybe even wanted
again, this is only my way of saying that he had some sort of contact with people who were close to him, especially from a genetical point of view, ever since he was a child and had help in case he needed it
because of all the torture and training he went through, Illumi is pretty much emotionless and immune to almost anything
he feels no real joy from being touched by others or touching them, and the only ones even allowed to touch him are his family and Hisoka, mostly because he’s persistent and they’ve known each other for some time
the only way he’s really been taught how to touch others is if he has to kill them, so you can imagine that he doesn’t really know what he’s missing on, compared to, let’s say Alluka or Killua, even Kalluto who were raised a bit more... lovingly
so imagine how it’ll be when he gets into a relationship with someone who’s a lot more touchy
he’d probably be pretty on edge and even appear threatening
but, explaining what you want to do in simple terms and your reasons should make him a bit more open, at least to the idea of thinking about this
of course, Illumi’s seen other people hugging, kissing, holding hands etc.
and he’s probably wondered why he never did that
but at the same time, he’s never really felt like he really needed affection in his life
until you came into it
when you started with small things (holding pinkies was something that lasted for like a month), he couldn’t really say that he saw the big deal
but at the same time, Illumi liked it a lot
when it came to hand holding, he loved the way your smaller hand fit into his and almost seemed like it was made for him and he could just keep you close and safe
other things, like hugging or kissing probably took a bit longer
his favourite thing to do has got to be cuddling because he just likes feeling like he can relax around you and also get his daily dose of touch, love and affection from one of the few people he cares about, even loves, and who he allows to touch him
and yes, he’ll slowly start touching you as well
something as simple as a brief hug before he has to leave just makes him feel giddy and he actually wants and needs more when he comes back to you
he likes feeling all those positive emotions, though he doesn’t really like that feeling of vulnerability, but he guesses that it’s only fair, considering the fact that you’re doing the same
to others, it might not seem like he’s changed much: the same emotionless face and the same ruthlessness as an assassin
but when he’s with you, everything just seems a lot more relaxed for the two of you and he can actually just breathe and know that he’ll have you by his side at the end of the day
#hxh#hunter x hunter#hunter x hunter x reader#hunter x reader#chrollo#chrollo lucilfer#chrollo x reader#chrollo lucilfer x reader#hisoka#hisoka morrow#hisoka x reader#hisoka morrow x reader#illumi#illumi zoldyck#illumi x reader#illumi zoldyck x reader#hxh chrollo#hxh hisoka#hxh illumi#hxh writing
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I understand Phupha. I really do. And I desperately want to ramble about his motivations through this story, so read on if you want to go through the journey of Phupha’s character depth with me!
(Note: I haven’t opened the tags or anything yet since watching the episode because I genuinely wanted to get all of my own thoughts written out before I bring in influences from other people, so if someone made a post like this already, I apologize and I promise I didn’t see it!!)
Let’s look at Phupha’s decisions and thought processes right now. He received an order from Tian’s dad to protect Tian in the village. When he received that order, he had never met Tian. Of course he wasn’t going to say no, and of course he was going to assume that Tian was a rich kid with poor intentions coming to the village. How many rich kids before Torfun had come to the village and abandoned ship when things got tough? Plus Phupha cares about the kids; he probably hated seeing these teachers enter and exit their lives so often. Not to mention, it probably would have made Phupha’s life easier to not have to take on this extra duty of caring for Tian.
But then Tian showed up, and things changed so quickly. Sure, maybe Phupha helped him extra at the very beginning out of duty, but in doing so, he got to know him even more quickly. And through that, feelings developed so fast. Let’s look at Tian bathing, for example. Phupha knew Tian had a bathhouse at his home, and yet, he took him to the waterfall. Why? Was that not wasting his own time? He so easily could have said, “You need a bath? Behind the house.” And yet, he took him to the waterfall anyways, for no real reason. Perhaps it was to test him, but more than anything, I think he was just trying to tease him and spend time with him. And when he slept at his house, sure, maybe it could have just been to protect him out of duty, but asking Tian what he had for dinner just because he wanted to talk to him was never in the order given by Tian’s dad. That was solely because he enjoyed Tian’s company.
We all know that Phupha’s care for Tian was never just out of duty. It may have started that way, but it so quickly progressed past that. Which is why Tian finding out his father was involved must have been so devastating. It completely contradicted what he was so certain was true. I mean, hell, drunk Phupha even confessed to Tian. He knew Phupha’s feelings were not out of duty, but he was still lied to (which is a whole rant on its own).
I’ve been thinking a lot too about Phupha’s love language. From what I can see, his top love language is acts of service, and more specifically, through his protection. Phupha loves the village. He loves the forest. And he loves Tian. When Tian started to understand Phupha’s love language, I think he recognized that as being Phupha’s expression of love toward him. And because Phupha protected him so strongly, Tian read that as Phupha’s love for him being so fierce (which it absolutely was, of course).
As their relationship blossomed, Tian continuously thanked Phupha for protecting him. And on surface level, yes, he was genuinely thanking him for keeping him alive and safe in the village. But digging deeper, he was thanking him for loving him, because he recognized Phupha’s expression of love is told through his dedication to keeping the people he loves and the forest safe. So when Tian was sitting by Phupha’s bedside begging him to wake up and continue protecting him, it wasn’t just him wanting Phupha to keep him safe. He was literally begging him to wake up and continue loving him.
Hence why, when the bandaid was ripped off and he found out his father had ordered Phupha to protect Tian, he started questioning where the line was between duty and love. And then Phupha wouldn’t admit to Tian that what Tian perceived as acts of love and not duty were exactly that, acts of love, that he hadn’t been imagining it. Not only that but when the emotions got high, Phupha lied to him, saying it was never personal and that it was all for just his job, breaking Tian’s heart.
Do I agree with the way he handled it? No. I think the saying harsh words to make Tian hate him rather than communicating properly was absolutely the wrong way to go. But do I understand it? Yes.
Before going any further into that though, let’s talk about Phupha’s reasoning for siding with Tian’s father over Tian. First of all, the obvious is that Tian’s father is a well-respected authority figure, who also easily has the connections to ruin Phupha’s career (not that he necessarily would but he could if he wanted to). As much as we all want Phupha to disregard Tian’s father’s orders, we all know he’s in a tough spot. He doesn’t just love Tian; he also loves the village and the forest, and he dedicated his life to protecting them. He has to weigh that into his decision too.
But beyond that, Phupha has so much respect for his late father. A lot of the lessons he did not understand when his father was alive were lessons he came to understand as he carried on his father’s missions. He said earlier in the show that he did not understand his father’s dedication to the forest until he dedicated his own life to it. He recognized the wisdom his father tried to pass on to him that he was hesitant to accept.
And so to have Tian’s father telling Phupha that Tian has a good life back in Bangkok, of course he’s going to project some of his respect for his own father onto Tian and Tian’s father, failing to recognize that the two situations aren’t the same. In addition to that, he probably does have a feeling of “if my father was still alive...” And knowing Tian’s father is there wanting to take care of Tian and see his life progress, of course he’s going to respect that. That’s why Phupha even told Tian he shouldn’t think less of his father.
Plus we’ve seen how watching Phupha’s mother grieve affected him personally. When Tian’s father mentioned how his mother hadn’t seen her son, and knowing how she almost lost Tian, I’m sure there was also some guilt for wanting to keep Tian to himself when he watched his own mother grieve. Of course, Tian hadn’t passed away like Phupha’s father, but the feeling of loss is similar enough.
I also assume there are some cultural differences regarding family dynamics and respect that I cannot speak to given I am not Thai.
So from that perspective, of course he started to believe that Tian’s father knew best. He didn’t know how miserable Tian was in Bangkok; he didn’t get to see the way Tian’s frown turned to a smile or how suddenly bright his world became when he came to the village. He never saw any of that.
And if we move on past Phupha’s family history, we all know Phupha is fearful of vulnerability. He’s closed himself off his entire life, it seems, from love. And by the time he hit 30, he probably accepted that would be his life: protecting the forest and returning to an empty bed. Opening himself up to Tian was not easy for him, and now when he finally allowed himself to dream of a less lonely life, it’s been threatened. And to avoid being hurt any further, he’s choosing to throw it away himself. It gives him the false perception that this was his own choice, not someone else’s. I’d even go as far as to say him losing his father is an example of a time when he had pain thrown at him that was not his own choice, and there’s probably some trauma from that that he still has to work through. Then he similarly lost Torfun and has had to work through that pain as well. Is it healthy to push his own happiness away at the first sign of trouble? Absolutely not. Plus it hurts Tian. But does it make sense given everything we know about him? Absolutely yes.
(Side note: Tian did the same thing before the surgery. He was wreckless because it gave him a sense of power regarding his own fate when it felt like his pain was being controlled by someone or something else.)
So now here we are, episode 9, Phupha is trying to do the right thing. Of course this story is showing us Tian’s perspective mostly, and so we empathize with Tian more. But I think it’s really important to acknowledge how Phupha is a character with so much depth, who will make mistakes just as Tian did and who deserves to receive the same forgiveness and consideration we give Tian.
When we look at Phupha, we know his intentions are good. He genuinely loves Tian, and especially throughout the events of this episode, he finally started to see how the guilt Tian felt about Torfun was eating him alive, how he was trying to live his life to make up for the life she had lost rather than for the life he had been given. And because he loves Tian so much, he wanted better for him.
That’s why he made him promise to value himself and to live his life for himself from now on. Of course, we all know there’s a disconnect between what he wants for Tian and the options he’s presenting Tian to pick from.
But just like Tian had a bandaid ripped off, Phupha did too. Tian thought Phupha’s intentions were purely out of love and started questioning why he made the decisions he did. Phupha thought Tian’s love for the village and even for him were straight from his own heart, and then when he found out Tian was purposely living his life as Torfun did, he didn’t know what to make of his intentions anymore. Of course, just as Tian was never wrong about Phupha acting out of love when he was protecting him, Phupha was never wrong about Tian acting out of love when interacting with the children and the rest of the villagers.
Yet he doesn’t know that. In his mind, Tian was always living someone else’s life. In his mind, Tian’s life must have been back in Bangkok because suddenly it didn’t seem like it was here. Suddenly the life he was living here in Pha Pun Dao was Torfun’s. And then when Tian starts insisting he’ll stay if Phupha tells him his feelings, of course he’s going to suddenly feel like it would be selfish to do so. Like I said, now he believes Tian’s life really is back in Bangkok. And he has Tian’s father telling him that too.
And we know he always believed that to some extent, given his response to the rangers when they wanted Tian to extend his stay. He told them he had college to finish and a bright future ahead of him. He hadn’t believed his future would be in the village and certainly not with him. It was when he allowed himself to be more vulnerable that he gave in and asked Tian to stay. But now with everything that happened since then, no wonder he felt selfish not wanting Tian to leave.
Acts of service. Phupha showing his love through protection. This right here is Phupha trying to protect Tian once again. This is Phupha trying one last time to show Tian his love language. Even if he’s hurting Tian in the process.
All of this is to say, is Phupha in the wrong right now? Yes. Of course. I’m going to write a separate post about Tian and how I believe this story will end, but we can clearly see how Phupha is contradicting himself right now. He wants Tian to choose himself and live his life for no one else, and yet he isn’t giving Tian the option to stay in the village for himself. He immediately threw away the idea that that was even a possibility, and it’s hurting both him and Tian.
But Tian has been in the wrong many times before, despite having a heart of gold and good intentions. And that’s where Phupha is too. He wants to do the right thing, but his own guilt and fear are keeping him from even seeing the true right thing.
Like I said, I’m going to write an entirely separate post about how I believe this story will end and why I think the ending will be beautiful. But I’m not worried. I think this is a test of not only Tian and Phupha’s relationship but also the two of them as individuals. I genuinely really love Phupha as a character, and I respect the way he tries so hard. He’s allowed to be wrong too sometimes.
#phutian#phupha x tian#a tale of thousand stars#atots#1000 stars#this was a LOT oops#I just think Phupha has SO MUCH DEPTH that people overlook because he’s Tian’s love interest#I think being angry at him for his decisions right now is very justified#but I also think it doesn’t do him justice to act as though they are not in character#I think he’s a beautiful character and I am so grateful to see him grow too#I ADDED A 'KEEP READING' BECAUSE I'M ON DESKTOP NOW
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How would you rank the 18 Class Trials from THH, DR2, and V3 from worst to best?
This is... virtually impossible for me, lol. Comparing the trials from each game to each other?
How about I just rank them within each game? That'll make it a little easier for me to deal with...
DR1
6) 5th. It's driven by lies and ultimately rushed to its end before the characters can draw any solid (pointless/meaningless) conclusions. So of course it's last for this game, and it’s probably last for the entire series as well. If there are any saving graces to this trial, it’s the surprise when your closest ally is willing to let our protagonist die... and that this trial contains the fake/bad ending route.
5) 3rd. Although the main culprit is pretty obvious from the jump, it requires some surprising twists to explain how everything got to be the way it turned out. But did I always find those twists plausible? Errrrm... not really.
4) 2nd. Pretty good trial that's hurt for me by the fact that there'd barely be any need for a trial at all if a certain third party didn't dick around with the evidence for no reason. Also, the dual nature of Toko is an incredibly predictable reveal. Without those two aspects dragging it down, though, this could easily go higher.
3) 1st. Sure, the major hint given and, subsequently, the eventual culprit are pretty obvious, but this one establishes so much about how the trials work and how much the details you observe will matter that it’s still pretty fun that first time around. The initial surprise of the first victim makes for a great way to keep you invested in the trial experience. This trial is damn near iconic now, so it feels almost mandatory to respect it.
2) 6th. DR1 still has the best "final trial,” easily. SO MANY great reveals, and they all totally work for me. Nothing rings false or disappointing, and it also features Makoto finally coming into his own and taking the lead. I nearly labeled this my top pick for DR1, but...
1) 4th. It's easily the most emotionally dramatic/satisfying for me, and there’s something weirdly inspirational for me about Hina’s incredibly harsh stance during it. This one GOT ME IN THE FEELS, and in part that was because I saw so little of it coming. After the more predictable elements of the first and third trials, this felt like the writing was firing on all cylinders.
DR2
6) 2nd. You have to accept a couple leaps of logic to make this trial keep flowing, and the fact that trial is ultimately reliant on someone noticing a candy that’s very small and hard to see while the person is also in a stressful situation and they are groggy from being drugged/asleep and it necessitates the person retaining this seemingly useless detail inside their brain .... that’s always bugged me. The “escape route” conversation even retroactively raises questions about the first trial. Oof. On the upside, the reveals it brought us about Fuyuhiko and Peko were incredibly important, satisfying, and legit surprising turns. And it’s pretty cool how it’s basically a two-for-one combo trial because you have to solve the Twilight Syndrome case before you solve the current case.
5) 3rd. Other people have pointed out the leaps of logic and missing pieces of this trial, but at the same time, the candlelight hanging is so intense and the ultimate reveal of the culprit is such a brutal turn that I have to give it some props. The culprit’s primary plan is ultimately one of the most ingenious in the series, IMO, and definitely one of the most twisted/fucked-up, which earns it some points.
4) 4th. This is probably the single murder case in the franchise that I understood the absolute least about when entering the trial, for better or worse. On the one hand, that made it really fun to see the mystery gradually unfurl, but on the other hand, it made it tough for me to provide the right answers at certain points in the trial, leaving me fumbling. A big part of those issues was how it was initially hard for me to wrap my head around the nature of the funhouse via the provided 2D graphics... but once I eventually got there, I had to respect the creativity that went into devising such a “weapon.” Also, it can be hard to tolerate Komaeda in this trial. He’s even more of a know-it-all-but-reveal-none-of-it jackass than ever before, and his turn towards overt cruelty towards the others (and Hajime in particular) left me raging. The culprit reveal is good, but the motive does beg the question of why he didn’t just come forward from the jump.
3) 6th. There are a lot of great reveals in the final trial that totally reframe how you see the characters, and some of them are deliciously twisted. There’s also a ton of great dialogue provided, and in retrospect, it’s actually sort of neat to have one endgame mastermind reveal in this franchise that doesn’t involve the “They were hiding among us this whole time” trope. All that plus the surprise return of our surviving heroes from the first game! However, this is also where they officially reveal a core element of DR2 and its setting that I've never liked. This knocks the trial down a few pegs for me. Of course, by the time you reach the trial, I'm sure 99% of players have already figured that particular "twist" out. There’s adequate evidence to predict it in the first freaking chapter, and I know this because I DID predict it in the first chapter of my initial playthrough... which further hurts the supposed “reveal” of the island’s true nature when it comes around.
2) 1st. Probably my favorite of the “first trials,” there are lot of components that go into this one. There’s a combination of two premeditated killers plus one spur-of-the-moment accidental victim, there’s a satisfying (though admittedly maybe too easy) reveal of the killer being one of the most unpleasant people to be around during the first chapter, and I really dig how audio became a very important component of the mystery due to the total blackout. This is also the part of the game where we learn just how twisted Komaeda really is, which is HUGE both in terms of its immediate shock factor for a total newcomer and in terms of its impact on the game as a whole. Of course, since it’s a “first trial,” it can’t be too complicated... but they still manage to confuse so many of us with “MEAT ON THE BONE” :P
1) 5th. Again, I will almost always give the most emotionally intense one the top slot. The “traitor reveal” is obviously THAT MOMENT in DR2. I also love how this one used the strange internal logic established early in the game RE: Komaeda’s luck to develop the eventual solution. And forcing us to make use of evidence gathered in multiple locations outside of the immediate site of the body/murder? That more complexity of that type that I see relevant to a trial, the more I appreciate it, and this one has loads of that stuff. Although I guess the investigation isn’t technically part of the trial itself... but it’s still very relevant to it.
DRV3
6) 4th. I found this whole trial to be just... extremely predictable. Maybe it’s because I was so far into the series that I’d gotten used to its tricks by this point, but this was the most predictable trial for me since the first one in the first game. The whole looping/rollover map setup of the VR? Obvious. The murder weapon? Obvious. Our culprit’s ongoing confusion at everything discussed? Obvious. There were only a couple of points I didn’t have already figured out when I walked into the trial room, and those turned out to be basically irrelevant (such as the bottle of poison). The eventual motive is at least a surprise, but I also found it hard to accept that this culprit would really kill people over it. Overall: Super lame.
5) 3rd. Another double murder trial, and once again one murder overshadows the other. The séance murder is definitely clever. Sure, you know the culprit pretty early on, but the methodology is the good part. However, the real fascinating one for me is the art lab “locked room” murder. Going into the trial, I couldn’t fathom how they were going to explain that one, and I found the answer both smart and satisfying. It’s funny to imagine how many times the culprit had to try that stunt with the lock before it actually worked, heh. This is probably the best of the three “double murder” mysteries in the series, but the trial isn’t as emotionally affecting as the 3rd trial in DR2 to me. Moreover, the trial loses points for the most infuriating Hangman’s Gambit of the series and especially for the motive reveal. When the killer’s motive can be boiled down to “they’re basically just a psycho serial killer,” it’s not very interesting.
4) 6th. The first part of the trial, which deals with re-assessing the first case? It’s pretty damn on-point. That leads to the mastermind reveal, which... isn’t great, really. It’s not a terribly interesting character to make the mastermind, they have no interesting motives or characterization to unevil, and they’re ultimately just a pawn behind another, off-screen group of masterminds. But then things get uproariously funny to me. The metatextual stuff is just so goddamn ridiculous. It’s frustrating and annoying how much of our not-mastermind’s explanation is clearly full of lies and half-truths that we’ll never have complete answers on, but that’s also part of what makes it all fascinating. We get to swap protagonists like four times! There’s a fake-out Game Over! These are really cool things. But it all leads down the road of our protagonist arguing that fiction does affect reality (yes, good), that fictional people can still matter (definitely) and that... fictional lives are equal in value to real ones? Uhhhhh slow down there, champ. That only works for YOUR universe, where fictional people can be made out of living, breathing individuals. But in light of the metatextual stuff you’re surrounded by, you kinda sound silly AF right now?
3) 2nd. Look, this is still incredibly irritating to me. Also, if you go down the alternate “lying” route at one point, you are forced to accept that these piranhas were somehow trained to only eat dead things, which is just... so deeply dumb. But what is good is the entire ropeway conceit (which is a very significant part of the trial!) and the idea of the partition inside the tank. This was a murder with an elaborate, intelligent plan that is very well-executed. And the motive reveal? It’s one of the best in the series! I respect that stuff. (If I had the right to toss the execution in as part of the soup, I’d say that it’s also one of the series’ best. Let’s call it the icing on the cake.)
2) 1st. The writing that made this trial work is undeniably clever. The way the narration told us exactly what was happening without really telling us what was happening? It was a masterstroke of both great writing and perfect localization coming together. When it becomes clear during the trial what is about to happen, it’s a huge shock. The transition to another protagonist with the lights flickering out and back on is beautiful. Even the core concept of a protagonist who was willing to step up and try to kill the mastermind immediately is just deeply interesting. And obviously this one made my emotions run high. HOWEVER! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Kaede Akamatsu was a more interesting, unique, and compelling protagonist than Shuichi Saihara ever was. Ultimately, the protagonist-swap, no matter how well-written, was a mistake because they shifted us from a unique character with an interesting new perspective to a character who is, in many ways, “Makoto Naegi with even less self-esteem.” Yes, I know he has aspects that make him distinct as his own person, but there’s still just too much there that feels like we’ve done it before, and he never fully escapes from that. It feels like a massive waste and a huge missed opportunity to ditch Kaede like this. Now, if they had just done the protagonist swap in reverse — making us start out with Shuichi before flipping things over to Kaede — we could’ve had ourselves something amazing here.
1) 5th. I know I decided that I couldn’t rank all among each other, but if I did do that, I feel confident that the 5th trial in DRV3 would rank very high indeed. You go into the trial unable to even determine who the victim was due to the fact that two people are missing and there was nothing left of the body that spoke to an identity. Going into it, you naturally figure that one of the two missing parties has to be the victim and the other one is probably the culprit. But even with just two friggin’ suspects, the amount of turnabouts in the case that made me rethink all my assumptions was insane. Sure, the explanation for how the person inside the Exisal can maintain “character” is pretty damn thin, but once you get past that, I don’t think there’s a single false note in the trial. It even breaks unprecedented ground by continuing into another Non-Stop Debate after everyone has already voted. And of course, it culminates with a lot of intense emotion. Even the execution is emotionally satisfying! ..... although I’m not sure if I should count the execution as part of the trial, but hey, still. As far as Dangan trials go, the fifth one in DRV3 is basically a masterpiece.
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