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imkylotrash · 4 months
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Growing Sideways
Pairing: Haymitch Abernathy x reader
Summary: Haymitch realizes you're not safe after the stunt he pulled with the forcefield in the arena, so he forces you to flee District 13.
A/N Please excuse any mistakes. I didn't proofread this
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Everything is changed when he returns from the Games. He never talks about them. Not to his parents, not to his brother, and certainly not to you. Of course, you watched them live on the broadcast same as everyone else in Panem but there are moments you can't even begin to understand or comprehend, and Haymitch knows that. You feel him slipping through your fingers, and you can't even blame him. Going through something so traumatic... you shudder at the thought. It doesn't stop you from being there though. You don't push him, but you're always right there when he needs you.
Two weeks pass before you experience the aftermath of one of his nightmares. His mother invited you to stay after dinner even though Haymitch wasn't home. You'd be lying if you said that you didn't accept her invitation with the hopes of seeing Haymitch.
"He's not very fond of using the front door," his mother remarks dryly when the bump of two feet hitting the floor interrupts your conversation. But her eyes shine with worry about her son.
"I'll go check on him," you excuse yourself and get up from the couch. He crawled through the window into his room, most likely to avoid the confrontation with his family. There's a half-empty bottle lying on the floor and seeping onto the carpet of his room. Haymitch is passed out in his bed, looking too much like the sweet 16-year-old boy he was before the Hunger Games.
Today had been rough. Haymitch had once again been forced to play the part of the victor for some celebratory show in the Capitol. Those people forget that it's real children they send into that arena. The thought of them enjoying themselves while watching kids get killed is enough to make you feel nauseous.
"Don't leave," he mumbles before beginning to toss around in the bed. Nightmares. It's been like this every single night since he came back but this is the first time, you're here to actually experience it. The only reason you know is because his parents have shared their concerns with you.
"Please," he chokes, a trickle of sweat starting to show on his face.
"I'm dealing with this the best I can!"
You get on your knees in front of the bed and carefully take his hands into yours, ignoring the echoes of your fight earlier today. His thrashing stops momentarily, allowing you to crawl into bed with him.
"I don't even want you here, so why do you insist on being here?"
"Y/N?" he whispers, not fully awake yet.
"I'm right here."
"Just leave me alone."
One thing Haymitch Abernathy doesn't get to do is push you away when he's hurting. You can't stand the thought of him in pain, and the pain only multiplies in the next couple of days. You're not sure why you're surprised. After the stunt he pulled with the forcefield, of course, the President would be angry.
His father dies first. Mining accident. Nothing suspicious about that. He's certainly not the first to lose his life in those mines.
You imagine his mother is trickier. Maybe that's why they decide to have the peacekeepers execute her in the square for buying supplies at the black market. That day Haymitch packs a bag with your belongings and sends word to his contact at District 13. A contact he's only known since they were introduced under the games. They keep you safe and in return, he works for them in order to bring down the Capitol. Neither of you has any idea what that really means, but Haymitch doesn't care if it means you're safe.
"Haymitch, I can't just leave. There are people who depend on me."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You're leaving at 8pm tonight." He shoves another sweater into your bag as if that's what you'll be missing if you go to District 13. Everything is happening too fast. Five minutes ago, you had no idea District 13 still existed, and now you're going there indefinitely?
"Do you not understand that he will kill you just for being associated with me?" Pain is evident in his voice as he finally turns to look at you. He's already lost his family, he can't watch you die too, and you know that.
"You're a victor, you won the games. The Capitol loves our relationship, he can't kill me," you argue.
"Nobody ever wins the Games. Period. There are survivors. There're no winners."
"Come with me then," you plead, your voice shaking with unshed tears but there's no escaping for him. He's a victor, and he'll be forced to perform as such for the rest of his life. Your final hug is filled with things you can't bring yourself to say. Things Haymitch already knows, and things you promise yourself to tell him when you see him again.
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imkylotrash · 8 months
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Hi! Wondering if you or anyone who sees this ask recognizes this one Bill Weasley x Reader fic I'm looking for. Bill and reader had been dating for a long time and then during a holiday or something (might have been christmas) at the Burrow he ends up proposing. I remember the proposal scene they, were laying on the couch late at night after everyone has gone to bed and Bill was playing with readers hands while she had her eyes closed, and then he just... slips an engagement/wedding ring on her finger.
Thank you if anyone can help!
I don't know this fic, sadly! It sounds really sweet though, so if anyone knows it, please let us both now 👀✨
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imkylotrash · 8 months
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I used to get lost in your eyes
Pairing: Remus Lupin x reader (first person).
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My hands are shaking. Any minute now, he'll come walking through that door and I'll have to break both of our hearts. Any minute now, I will have my last moment with him, and my bones are threatening to break under the weight of that knowledge. Keys rattle on the other side of the door, and I take a deep breath to stabilize my thundering heart. It does not do the trick.
"Hey, how was..." His voice trails off when he sees my packed bags by the door. There's no reason to try and hide the tears making their way down my cheeks. He'll know soon enough what will happen tonight.
"We need to talk." The four worst words in a relationship. My voice remains steady despite the cold making a home in my veins.
"What's going on?" He still has one foot out in the hallway as if not fully entering the room will change the outcome of tonight. It won't.
"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep waiting for you to let me in, because I don't think you'll ever be ready. And I definitely can't continue to be shut out when you're struggling. It hurts too much." I feel my bottom lip quiver as I try to reel back some of the feelings threatening to rip their way out of my heart. For so long, I've managed to keep them contained, but I can't do it anymore. I am tired.
"Please, don't. You know I've been working on this. You know I'm trying to-to-I don't want to lose you." Finally, he enters the room to walk over to me and get on his knees in front of me. For once, I can read him as an open book. The fear of losing me, the broken heart already demanding to be felt even though I'm still here. I see it all, but it's too late.
"I can't keep clawing at your walls, darling. My nails haven't even managed to make a single scratch." Nothing on this earth could prepare me for the feeling in my chest as I watch all hope evaporate from his face. I have to consciously remind myself why this is necessary. How many evenings I've sat waiting for him to come home, to tell me what troubles him. How many times I've gone to bed alone because he'd rather stay in his study and ignore the world. Once, I was naive enough to think that I might one day become his world. That he'd trust me enough to let me see the sides of him that were less than perfect. I did not harbor such sentiments now.
"There must be something I can do," he argues but I've made my decision. It will do none of us any good to dwell on what might have been.
"I'll stay with Lily and James for a few days until I find somewhere to go." It's selfish to bring his best friend into this, but I have nowhere to go and Lily is my best friend. It's only natural to seek her comfort right now. I tell myself it's only for a few days. And it's not as if James won't be able to come over and see Remus. I'd never get in the way of that.
"Please stay." With unsteady legs, I stand up and step to the side to pass Remus still on his knees.
"Please," he whispers so quietly, I almost miss it. If there is something smaller than a quark, I believe that would be equivalent to the size of the broken pieces of my heart lying shattered on the floor. He grips my wrist to keep me from taking another step, but I cannot stay. I cannot destroy myself to make him whole.
"Let go of me, Remus." It comes out as a plea rather than an order, but I cannot bring myself to cause him any more pain than necessary. Fire spreads where his skin touches mine and I curse how weak my body becomes by his touch.
"Don't make me do it myself. Please just let me go." I don't want to have to pry his hand off of me. I can't have that be my last memory with him. After a full minute, he finally lets go of my wrist.
"You are worthy of love, my darling. I'm just not the right person to give it to you." I lean down to press a kiss to his forehead as a final goodbye. The sight of his tear-streaked face will haunt me from this day forward, but I still walk out the door. And he doesn't stop me this time.
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imkylotrash · 9 months
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Hello gorgeous, just hope you're doing great 🩵
Thank you, my love! I am. I hope you are too 💛💛
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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The nervewracking feeling of finally writing something again after so long and getting ready to post it 😬
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Hii, I found your account yesterday and i read all of your after stories, i just wanted to tell you how amazing you are at writing! Its so hard to find good fanfics for Hardin and you write him so perfectly and into character! Hope you have a great day! ❤️
This is just so lovely to read. Thank you so much, sweetheart! I'm glad you see Hardin in my portrayal of his character ✨💛
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Hello, just checking and asking how you are doing, is everything alright?
Hi lovey. Sorry for the late reply. I'm doing good, just feeling the effects of two jobs and uni. I barely have time to be on Tumblr but I really miss the relaxation of it!
How are you? ✨
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Love your stories. Found your Saul x wife reader through Google. Just wanted to ask if you'll be opening requests again or are you on a permanent hiatus? Cause I would love a part 2 to so many of your stories. Also love the fact that you are one of the only people that does fate crossovers 💞
Thank you, sweetheart! I really do appreciate it ✨ I genuinely hope I'll be able to open up requests again, I just don't know when. I wish I had a better answer than that, but all I can say is that I really appreciate the support even when I'm not posting anything new 💛
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Hope you enjoyed season 2🔥
I did. Though I wish the writers would've known it was going to get canceled so they could've finished the show properly rather than end it on a cliffhanger 😬
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Hi. Love your writing. Do you know that if you Google Saul silva x wife reader, one of your stories is in the top results? I think its fourth. That's actually how I found your blog 🙈. Anyway I ended up enjoying it so much that I binge read all of your other Saul fics. You're very talented 💕. Can't wait to see more
That's amazing. Thank you for letting me know! I just did the google search and it honestly made me so happy 💛 I hope you have a lovely day/night, gorgeous! ✨
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Just wanted to say that I love your stories. I was on the hunt for Saul Silva content and you have the best. My favorites would have to be the marvel crossovers and the one where reader/Saul are trying for a baby but reader hides the bc (not sure of the name 🙈). Again just wanted to say love your stories and hope to see more of you on my dash. Hoping you enjoy the end of season 2 and inspiration strikes cause your stories are what made me finish season 2😘😘
This is so kind, thank you so much 💛 Honestly, I've been in such a rut writing-wise, but this really cheered me up. I'm so happy you took the time to write this message to me ✨
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Can you write another beatrix male reader story please? I would love if you make it long.thanks
I am sorry, my love. Requests are closed at the moment 💛
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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I alsdo felt that it wasn't worth it cause of the cancelation but I was so curious to see what happened to Saul and it didn't disappoint. All I'll say is Saul lovers ate really well this season. Old man still has some moves especially during the last battle scene. He was *chefs kiss* if anything I just watched for him even if I was sad about the canceling.
Listen, you just might make me finish watching it with that review 😂 I think I've got about two episodes left at this point, so maybe this weekend ✨
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Hi hi. I just started season 2 of fate this weekend cause I was putting it off due to Netflix canceling it (was in mourning 😭). Anyway I was so happy to see Saul in almost every episode but the did him dirty with that haircut 😂
Hi love ✨
In all honesty, I haven't finished the season yet. I was so excited for season 2 and then they canceled it, and now I just feel like it's not really worth it? Like I want to support the actors and the series, but it just sucks how Netflix continues to cancel so many good shows 😕
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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A little late Happy New Year 🥳 Hope you're doing well 💖
Happy New Year, gorgeous! I hope this year treats you well ✨
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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how are you? ❤️ i love you!
I am good, thank you for asking! Been struggling a little over the holidays, but overall I really can't complain. How are you, lovey? 💛
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imkylotrash · 1 year
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Hi, just wanted to ask how you're doing ❤️ I hope everything's alright
Hi, lovey. Thank you for asking! In the grand scheme of things, I've got nothing to complain about. I'm stressed, but from doing things I enjoy ✨ I hope you're doing well too! 💛
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