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lssugaluv · 2 years

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Things they do when the HQ boys take you out for breakfast! <3

Haikyuu men x female reader.

Quick story: My fiance and I went out to breakfast yesterday after a long week of work for the both of us. I was finally able to hang out with him and he loves to spend quality time with me. He especially loves to go eat breakfast on Sundays. In our car ride, I thought to myself to write a blog of Haikyuu imagines about the things the HQ boys do when they take you out.

All characters are time skipped: all adults.

My Masterlist for more: Lssugaluv’s Masterlist.

Some characters are your boyfriends, & some are your husbands.

These are a bit long, but it is okay because I have not been posting in a while </3.

Characters: Suga, Hinata, Atsumu, Sakusa, Ushijima, Asahi.

Contains: Female (or gn reader) x Haikyuu characters, fluff, love, cuteness, food, showing off.

Please: Like, share, and follow! <3

Hinata:

As you know your boyfriend Hinata’s passion for volleyball is real, his passion for you is a lot more than what you can think of. He is always busy at practices and although you miss him, you never tend to tell him how you really feel. He likes to pick Sundays as a day off to spend quality time with you. He always messages you sweet morning messages.

“Good morning my sunshine. We are going out for breakfast!! So be ready, and I will pick you up in an hour.”

You can’t explain the butterflies you feel everytime you recieve messages like this by him. Although you guys have been dating for a while, he never stops to make you feel like when you first began dating.

Hinata loves to take you out to little cafe’s in Tokyo. He knows you love the aesthetic feel, and he loves to take you wherever you feel most comfortable. He usually likes to share meals with you and always sits next to you instead of in front of you. He enjoys seeing you stuff your face as well as you grabbing a spoonfull of food and feeding it too him. It’s just you and him in your own little world.

Suga:

Sugwara loves to spend every morning with you before he goes to his teaching job. He always wakes up a little earlier than usual to make breakfast for the both of you. He especially loves to wake you up by surprising you with a different dish every morning in bed. Every once in a while though, he loves to take you out to eat. He loves to see you getting ready because he always sees your face gleaming in happiness. He also loves to compliment you every morning, as soon as you wake up and even when you get dressed.

“You are so beautiful Y/n... What did I do to deserve such a gorgeous wife like you?”

Suga is the type to open the door of your home for you, as well as open the door to his car for you to enter. While driving on your way to the location, he enjoys to hold your hand and gently caressing it with his thumb. He also loves to pick up your hand and give it gently kisses. He never fails to make you blush and smile.

Once at the breakfast location, he always orders for you. That man memorizes exactly what you like. Usually, it is always a water for starters and later on a morning mimosa. He usually orders pancakes for you while he usually orders an omelet. He loves to see you eat while you smile back at him. This is what he enjoys, it is always the little things with you.

Sakusa:

Sakusa always had a little routine going on with you since you two began dating. Every month, he loves to take you out for breakfast. Every anniversary month to be exact. You two have been dating for three years now and it never gets tiring to continue your routine with him. His teammates make fun of him with comments like, “who still celebrates monthly anniversaries? Aren’t you supposed to celebrate yearly ones instead?” But like usual, Sakusa always just ignores them. Nothing will ever stop that man from seeing you happy.

Today for your 3 years and 5 month anniversary, he took you out to a new breakfast resturaunt out in by the beach. He enjoys taking you to different locations. It is very rare when you guys go to the same place twice. Although he can be very to himself, he likes to take you to different places so you can try them together.

You wore a white flowy dress that nicely hugged your curves. You curled your hair in beach waves and with very minimal make-up. He wore a white flowly button up with khacki shorts. You both loved to match colors or at least combine. You two sat outdoors to enjoy the ocean breeze and the early sunrise. Although Sakusa was a very private man, he loved to keep you all to himself if he could. He will once in a blue moon post a picture of you on his social media. It is for three reasons.

1. To show off his beautiful girlfriend.

2. To remind everyone he has a beautiful girlfriend whom he loves dearly.

3. To remind you how gorgeous you are and to show you off to the world.

The scenery, his gorgeous girlfriend, are his happiness.

Atsumu:

Your husband Atsumu loves to take you out to eat for breakfast. Every time you guys go out, he always has a new outfit out ready for you. He is not a fan of couples matching, but he has always loved to combine with you. Today’s outfits consisted of the colors burgundy and ivory. He wore an ivory turtle neck sweater with slim dark washed jeans and brown boot uggs. Mean while, your wore an ivory v-shaped long sleeve, with a warm burgundy wool cardigan. You wore boot cut dark washed jeans and also brown uggs. Today was a chilly day, so he had to make sure his wifey was nice and warm.

He decided to take you tot he closest cafe in town and spend the morning with you. Usually, Tsumu loves to take you out to fancy breakfast and lunch dinners. He loves to see you glammed up and especially in dresses. He always takes the time to choose your outfits, because he cannot wait to see how fine you will look. Today however, he wanted to lay back and have a cozy cup of coffee with some criosssants. He loves to take selfies with you and post them on his social medias.

“The wifey and I enjoying our morning together. <3″

He also enjoys taking pictures of your hands. He doesn’t know if it is the simple gel nail color you have, or the softness from them, or the diamond ring you have on your left hand that he loves the most. He loves to hold on to your left hand, placing the coffee next to both of your hands collided. He always likes the “aesthetic feeling.” He loves to remind himself that he is a married man. He loves to show off your gorgeous hand and the ring.

Asahi:

Your boyfriend Asahi loves to take walks to the closest cafe by your shared apartment. He enjoys waking up every morning and the two of you getting ready before work. Every morning, you always fix his hair into a bun. It is rare with he lets his hair down to rest, especially when he goes out.

It is a routine for the two of you to get ready a little early and make your way to the closest cafe shop. You two always walk hand in hand enjoying the crisp morning smell. In Spring time in Japan, he loves to stop and take a picture of you by the cherry blossom trees. He has so many pictures of you by the trees. He has a little collage at work of you with the cherry blossom trees.

The cafe shop owners know you two already. You guys are regulars at the shop. The owners already know the time you guys usually arrives so by the time you guys get there, your coffees and food are ready to go. Asahi loves hot coffee, no matter the weather. You, however, love iced coffee. You both always get the same chicken breakfast panini sandwich and one chocolate muffin to share.

Ushijima:

Your husband Ushijima is always busy with his athletic job. You knew dating an athlete back in high school was not going to be easy. He will always be busy with practices and school, but you two always made it workout. Ushijima however, always feels bad leaving you alone, esecially when his team has tournaments out of town or the country. Most of the time, he tries to take you with him, but because of your career, you mainly stay. He always feels guilty when he comes home seeing you alone.

Ushijima likes to come back home and take you out for breakfast. There are times when he comes back very early and has you get ready and leave. Or there are times when he comes really late. So he usually lets you know the night of to be ready in the morning to go out. You are not a huge fan of being out, especially when he comes back from a game. You will rather allow your husband to rest and cuddle with him. You enjoy cooking for him and pampering him, but then you know him taking you out is a gist of him feeling bad for leaving you alone.

You two enjoy going to regular breakfast house where there is greenery every where. The restaurant owners know you two are regulars, and always seat you two in the same place. You guys are always seated by a huge window where there are nothing but gorgeous green plants around. There is always classical music being played which you love. They also know that Ushijima loves to give you flowers. Since the beginning, he will arrange a deal with the owner, where they will send a worker to buy you flowers in a bouquet. When you two arrive, you always see your table with two glasses of water, two coffee lattee mugs, and the brown paper wrapped around your flower bouquet. Your flowers are never the same however. He always makes sure to give you different sets of flowers.

Today, he came home from a game around 4 in the morning. You allowed him to rest because you had special news for him. By 8, you were all ready to go and so was he. You guys arrived to the restaurant to see white flowers today. You always squeeze his hand a bit tight and peck a small kiss on his cheek. Ushijima can be very private and gets flustered easily, but he loves this small detail from you. As you two were eating your meal, you decide to break the silence.

“Toshi, I have something to tell you.” He looks at you with his gorgeous eyes that had a courious look to them. “I am one month pregnant.” You tell him as your face turned red and couldn’t help but look away. Ushijima was about to take a bite from his food when it suddenly dropped from his mouth when you told him the news. He couldn’t help but hold back his tears. Once you guys finished, he grabbed your hand to help you up. Before entering the car, he couldn’t help but lift you up and spin you around, not caring who was watching.

“I can finally be a little more at ease knowing you will not be alone.”

Afterthoughts:

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy these! I really loved the Suga and Ushijima one! Lol. I will be back soon :)

Please share, like, and interact. <3

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lgbtqmanga · 1 year

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New Releases Mar. 21, 2023

Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon vol. 4 by Shio Usui

FINAL VOLUME!

Asahi has never been big on romantic love—her top priority has always been family. But now that Hinako is in her life, her feelings about romance seem to be changing. Asahi still doesn’t know exactly what that means, but one thing is for sure: her feelings for Hinako are growing more intense by the day. Are Asahi and Hinako destined for more than friendship? Find out in the final volume of Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon!

The Executioner and Her Way of Life (novel) vol. 6 by Mato Sato and Nilitsu

"Consider yourself lucky to die here."

The fight between Menou and Master Flare in the land of salt begins to tip in the student’s favor. Connecting to Akari’s vast guiding force has enabled Menou to access the pseudo-concept of Time, a development that spells the conclusion to a battle that has ended in defeat countless times before. Yet during the fight, Ivory slips in and out of view. Elsewhere, Pandemonium enters the Star Memory. Something Manon left behind unknowingly has brought about a fatal change, and a catastrophe arrives at the furthest reaches of the world.

Happy of the End vol. 2 by Ogeretsu Tanaka

After constant moving, Chihiro and Haoran may have settled down, which means a house-warming party. This sudden sense of "normalcy" is a little strange for the two of them as their lives are far from it. Whether it's the scars all over Haoran's body or the violent people in their past, finding moments of peace is their only solace in life today.

Hirano and Kagiura vol. 2 by Shou Harusono

Okay, so his first attempt didn’t work. Hirano somehow managed to turn Kagi’s attempt at a confession into nothing. If it was intentional, then does that mean he...doesn’t like Kagi back? Indulging him at every turn, treating him differently than anyone else—it’s not possible that Hirano sees him as just a friend. Is it?

Kiniro Mosaic Best Wishes by Yui Hara

Set one year after the events in Kiniro Mosaic, this volume contains eleven chapters ranging from the everyday life of Alice and her friends after graduation, to behind-the-scenes stories of their high school life never revealed in the main series.

Pulse vol. 3 by Ratana Satis

When their date at the pool only serves to heat up their budding relationship, heart doctor Mel must face the reality that she’s falling for Lynn. As her feelings grow and the temptation to take their relationship to the next step reaches unbearable, an emergency at the hospital demands Mel’s attention. A mystery draws Mel away and wraps her up in an investigation that soon tumbles out of control, leaving Lynn alone to await the doctor’s return.

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat vol. 2 by Sakaomi Yuzaki.

Kasuga and Nomoto promised to spend their Christmas and New Year’s together. Now, they find themselves learning more about each other’s families through the food sent by Nomoto’s mother. Cute character bento, salmon and rice, stollen, fruit sandwiches, roast beef…Nomoto and Kasuga warm up to each other over a cheerful holiday season.

#new releases #manga #light novel #novels #queer manga #lgbt manga

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maleyanderecafe · 2 years

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hii only if you know, what do you think about taiyō mitsuboshi from happy sugar life as yandere? I know there is another yandere in the anime but the one that caught my attention the most was him and his obsession with shio

Yeah! I do remember the reason I read Happy Sugar Life when back when I was reading for yandere guys (before I had a blog). It's been a while though so while I did read all of the manga, I don't have a very clear memory of it. I did skim over it so I could remember it (and asked @lovechaosdragon about it) though after this specific scene above my memory wanes pretty hard.

From what I recall Mitsuboshi was one of those kinds of "purity" yanderes, where he feels tainted by something and finds someone who is able to make him pure again. In his case, he was defiled by a women, causing him to become really afraid of them and gains the idea that he's defiled as well. Upon meeting Shio, she believes that she is an angel and even attempts to bring her home with him and gets stopped. He is a much bigger force initially, being obsessed with the missing posters that he has in his house, but does eventually try to break out of it, only for Sato to reel him back in with one of Shio's socks. Afterwards... I feel like he sort of doesn't become incredibly important to the plot. Sure he does sort of help Shio's brother Asahi Kōbe find her, but to be honest, he didn't really do much afterwards. It's also a bit unclear what happens in the end with him since while calling his mom, he states that he's okay, possibly already being cleansed by Shio (in his heart). Like I said, he seems like a bigger threat in the beginning of the series then kinda becomes dragged around by various other characters.

I'm always a little iffy on purity type yanderes since a lot of times what the yandere considers as "pure" is left pretty vague, but I think for Mitsuboshi it's pretty defined that he believes Shio can cleanse him, though the reason to why exactly he sees her as pure (much like the reason for why Sato sees her this way) still remains a mystery to me. I mean yes, the reason is because she is considered pure because she's a child who still doesn't really understand the world and is a generally kind person, but I feel like this is something that could be applied to many children and not just specifically Shio. I guess that's just the twisted aspect of Happy Sugar Life that happens when you have a bunch of traumatized characters looking for some way to be cleansed. I suppose at the end, you could consider him a redeemed yandere since he seems he already has been cleansed by Shio and we don't know if he knows that Shio is alive at the end of the series.

Other than that I have heard a couple of comments stating that Mitsuboshi is somehow worse that Sato, which I personally don't agree with. For one, while its not like Mitsuboshi is always good, he did at least try to run away from Shio's influence before Sato eventually drags him back into it and in the second part, as I've said, he basically becomes kicked around by different characters. Sato on the other hand is always consistently doing bad things for the sake of Shio and mostly getting away with it, even at the very end when she dies. It's probably because of the double standard that Mitsuboshi is considered worse because he's a male and Sato more gets away with it because she's a cute anime girl and because from what I remember she's not sexually attracted to Shio. I might be wrong on all of that and that's not how people view it, but that's generally my opinion on it.

In any case, Happy Sugar Life is a ride and its a very interesting look on yanderes in any case of the word.

#asks #male yandere #yandere #yandere boy #recommendations #happy sugar life

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macbetha · 1 year

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19 & 37

Thanks for your patience! 💞☺️

Nineteen: Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

This is a little long 💗

I was making up stories before I even knew how to write. I was very lucky to have a mom that would play dolls with me and she would say each morning, “What’s her name today? Where does she work? What does she do for fun?” I’m so so lucky.

My mom is also a writer! She writes children’s books and they’ve always had animal characters present, so I’m sure I use all my animal symbolism because of that. She and I also have a sort of book club for fanfictions! We’ll read a story at the same time and compare notes over coffee. She enjoys Hunger Games AUs the most.

My mother’s family is small but full of incredible storytellers. My uncle that passed, he would turn his voice and use sweeping gestures and it was such a beautiful thing. He was absolutely lyrical. He could make grim situations humorous and even a little beautiful. He loved the storytelling in music and played the guitar. I have his guitar, cannot play it worth anything, but if I’m overwhelmed I can easily remember him saying, “Just get somewhere alone and listen to your records.” So stories are generationally important to me.

I can’t remember why exactly I started writing fanfiction around age twelve but I do know what was going on in my life at the time, so I’m sure I needed escapism profusely. I’ve mentioned before I wrote some Alvin and the Chipmunks at the time lmao but I also did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was a balm.

I wrote fanfiction for other media like young adult books until I was I think sixteen? Well, I stopped publishing them. I continued writing them but I kept telling myself I wasn’t ready to publish whatever came next? It was weird. I just kept building the story until years had passed and I guess I let intimidation get the best of me.

Then around age twenty I started writing for Free! and I don’t remember my mindset on why I decided to publish - I’m not sure what changed in my mind - but again, I needed some serious escapism. EWOATT is exaggerated but there’s a baseline of personal experiences I had never spoken about and I needed the release. I was hurting and had exhausted all other efforts to cope. It turned out better than I ever could have imagined.

I continued writing for years up until about nine months ago. Haven’t published anything since. I was in my last year of undergrad and I’m sure people are used to me taking breaks, but this is the longest stretch since I was twenty. I’m twenty-seven now. I miss sharing stories like it was a home and I am getting back into it. 💗

I do anticipate that it will be interesting for me to see how I’ve changed. My writing style is different but in a way I definitely like! Comeback incoming wooo~

Thirty-Seven: If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

“SHIT THIS GIRL WAS SO SAD” lmao no I’m not sure. I can say that if I got to choose what words I was remembered by, I’d want it to be the Asahi quote from EWOATT: “You can’t forget, okay? That there’s good in the world.”

I also like “I’d beg him to ruin my life” (Sousuke about Rin in DOAB) / “Your hands are my hands” (Makoto to Haruka in THOM)

Thank you for asking~! 🍄🍓

#ask #asks #ask game

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mangalho · 2 years

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ALSO LIKE why. As an author why would you make tanaka fumble the biggest bag in the fucking series. He could be married to an Olympic/pro player and instead hes married to some bland bitch who works at sports zone like 💀

Dude fr its such a useless thing to write about but i'll always be so mad about this LOL

im madder about tanaka in specific bc i really like this character, but I could complain abt so many endgame details dude...

With characters like tsukishima or yamaguchi I kinda get it! They dont need to be professional volleyball players because the way they engaged with the sport was always different from people like hinata and kageyama. They had other skills (esp. Tsukishima) so its not weird to see them pursue different/random careers and still play ball on the side.

but I think its bizarre that a character like nishinoya wouldn't be a star player at some point? He's got his free spirit and whatever, but i really think he should have his short and incredible career and then tap out. Sounds like smth he would do. I don't think doing something random like extreme fishing and traveling around the globe is out of the question but wtf where does his money come from fr... Also why is asahi with him and not tanaka?? They felt more like hmm.. People who respected eachother but not exactly close friends. Idk whatever.

Tanaka also doesn't have much in his life aside from volleyball and even though we're always told hes not a genius player his tenacity and mental fortitude, as well as his overall improvement as a player made me believe that he could actually succeed as a pro. I think his dedication to the sport wasn't as intense as nishinoya's but like. Ahhh

Also I think most jobs the characters end up having are really random or "fandom-esque" like damn why tf is daichi a cop thats so unfortunate. I really dont know why asahi is a fashion desiger not gonna lie wtf LOL where did that come from.

I think my favourite future job has got to be Tendou's though like a chocolatier in PARIS? Genius writing decision

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complete-in-ix · 1 year

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This Side Of Paradise

Rated: G Warning(s): None

Description: Yedam has always wanted to be a star, a beacon to light up other people's dark nights. However, there's one drawback to being another's light: No one will be there to be his Polaris—or so he thinks. Enter Kim Doyoung. Distant at first, but bright and beautiful, a star just like him. They're both surrounded by dark loneliness on all sides, but maybe—just maybe, they can find their way through it with each other's shine. (Spoiler alert: They do)

(Read on Ao3)

Ask me why my heart's inside my throat

I've never been in love, I've been alone

Yedam feels strange. Almost eight whole years of balancing school, training, and his second survival show without ever getting so choked—up like this, like his heart has crawled to his throat. It’s not like he would have died without company, he doesn’t need a clique of friends or some cliche teenage love story. His parents and a few of his mentors occasionally express concern over the fact that there are few people that could actually be considered his close friends, but he doesn’t see the issue. He keeps up enough of a social life to not drown in the combined responsibilities of being a top student and YG’s prodigy trainee. It really isn’t that big of a deal to him.

At least, that’s what he tells them.

Feel like I've been living life asleep

Love so strong it makes me feel so weak

In reality, there’s a hollow inside his chest that gets scraped wider every time he watches the people around him, so bright in each other’s presence, so warm. He sees it the most prominently in his hyungs; the way Seunghun will cuddle up to Byounggon after a long day, the way Hyunsuk and Jihoon will bicker as a form of flirting, the way Yoshinori clings to Mashiho and Hyunsuk like a pair of lifelines: one leading back home and the other anchoring him to his new place, the way Junkyu and Mashiho so effortlessly clicked and bonded from early on, the way Jaehyuk so tenderly watches over Asahi. It’s not exactly painful, but there are times where he wishes he could have someone who could awaken his heart like that. The logical, goal—oriented side of him scoffs at their theatrics, finds them weak for swaying to their partners so easily, but the emotional side of him that he does his best to keep neatly tucked away is persistent, whispers to him in his sleep during dark and lonely nights: How strong must their love be, then, to render their bodies so weak?

Are you lonely? (Are you lonely?)

Our fingers dancing when they meet

“Are you lonely?” That seems to be a question he gets a lot, both from other people and from himself. He tries his best to answer, but what he finds only leads to more questions. In a general sense, no. He’s made enough friends to keep himself satisfied, and he’s close enough to them to be able to make deep conversations. One of said friends is even close enough to him that the line between friendship and something else is extremely blurred, yet he still yearns for something . Something more, something different, he can’t quite tell. For now, he’s satisfied with his bond with Kim Doyoung. He treats him well, both as a hyung and a more—than—friend. Their attachment is so deep that they understand each other with just a single word or a glance, and they both have trouble envisioning a future without the other. Yedam doesn’t like thinking about that, determined to make it to the end with Doyoung’s hand in his, their fingers intertwined when they meet at the finish line for the last dance of this godforsaken show. It’s sappy, and maybe a little out—of—character for him, but as long as the cameras aren’t rolling, he can afford to have a little distraction.

Like how Doyoung has been acting a little off ever since he noticed his own strange feelings.

You seem so lonely (Are you lonely?)

I'll be the only dream you seek

His dear friend, the almost perpetual ray of sunshine in his life, has dimmed over the past few weeks. There’s hardly enough time to talk without a camera rolling these days and any slips of truly free time they have is spent either catching up on practice or rest, so a true heart—to—heart with him would be hard to come by. Still, he tries his best to help him, distract him from the rainclouds in his heart for a moment at least. A question in the form of a look from across the practice room, one that not even the keenest camera could pick up on: “Are you lonely?” An answer in Doyoung’s uncharacteristically dark eyes, the way doesn’t smile even as his favourite song is blasting in the small practice room. “Yes. Nightmares again,” they say. Perhaps a daydream in the form of Yedam’s presence could chase away the exhaustion they left behind. He dances his way across the room, holding out a hand for Doyoung to take. “May I have this dance?” he wants to say, but the cameras are rolling and he doesn’t want to show any more than he has to.

So if you're lonely, no need to show me

If you're lonely come be lonely with me

Doyoung gazes at him in confusion as he takes his hand, but no words are needed to explain as Yedam pulls him to his feet. They’ve gotten quite good at communicating without them while they’re living under the constant watch of cameras, and Yedam has enough experience that he’ll know what Doyoung is thinking without him even having to show it. Sometimes it’s hard to pretend that he doesn’t, which is a little hard when he’s cuddled up against Doyoung’s side and he can feel how badly Doyoung wants to kiss him. He’s quick to push those thoughts away; now isn’t the time. As much as he yearns, this moment is for Doyoung alone.

They’re both stars burning bright against the dark backdrop of their uncertain futures, but Doyoung is growing cold while Yedam is still warm and he fears that Doyoung might collapse in a silent heat death, so he pulls him into his orbit and sends off something of a solar flare to light him back up, dancing and jumping about so intensely that he’s sure the viewers will worry for him. He finds he doesn’t care as much as he should; it all pales in comparison to how much he just wants to see Doyoung smile like he means it again. If it takes going a little cold to keep him warm, then so be it.

After all, it’s better to be lonely with someone else than to be lonely alone, right?

Lonely (Are you lonely?)

Passion is crashing as we speak

He doesn’t have to wait long, catching the ghost of a smile on Doyoung’s lips as sneaks into his room a few days later. Yedam’s presence is unexpected but not unwelcome, if the way Doyoung lifts the covers for him to get in says anything. He’s quick to pull Doyoung into his embrace as soon as he’s comfortable, barely resisting the urge to press a kiss to his forehead in the process. He’s lonely, Yedam can tell, and it hurts his heart.

“What are you doing here, hyung?” Doyoung asks, a soft whisper that sends Yedam’s defenses crashing straight down.

“I noticed you seemed a little off earlier today, I thought you could use some company,” Yedam murmurs, equally as soft and tinged with ten times more love. “If you want me to leave, I’ll go.”

“No, don’t leave,” Doyoung whispers. His hand comes up to hold Yedam’s, oh—so—shyly guiding it to his waist and Yedam feels like he’s drowning, but it’s fine, the water’s warm anyway. “Hyung, I…”

You seem so lonely (Are you lonely?)

You're the ground my feet won't reach

“... I want you.” I know, I know, I know. Yedam can tell by the way Doyoung won’t meet his eyes, the way he bites the inside of his lip. Yedam is so, so tempted to lean in, kiss his sorrows away until the whole world has disappeared and it’s just the two of them. He could, and Doyoung wouldn’t resist him. He just has to take that one step, but neither of them are stable right now and taking any steps in this low gravity might mean their feet never touch the ground again.

Space is dangerous. They can’t drift off now, not until they have a sound shuttle at least.

So if you're lonely

Darling you're glowing

If you're lonely, come be lonely with me

“Sleep, Doyoung—ah. I’ll still be here in the morning.” He whispers, “Tell me then.”

Doyoung hums and buries himself deeper in Yedam’s embrace, too tired to protest. Yedam waits and watches as he falls asleep, finally relaxing in his arms and content for the first time in weeks. He’s glad his heart no longer races in Doyoung’s presence, or else it would have taken much longer to see him glow like this again.

That isn’t to say that Yedam no longer loves Doyoung, heavens no. It’s just that he’s grown past the infatuation that had collapsed the both of them when they had first met. Stars can be formed when molecular clouds collide with each other, sending shocked matter through said clouds and throwing off their thermodynamic equilibrium, triggering a collapse and the birth of a star cluster; and that’s how Yedam would describe their relationship.

They had been content on their own in the beginning, until one fateful meeting sent them into a spiral of tension and intrigue. They had been storming inside during their every meeting, emotions crumbling and reforming as they drew each other into their gravities. Now, they shine together, bright against the dark backdrop of their futures. It does get a little lonely being on separate teams sometimes, but just being able to see each other or sneak off to the studio to compose and be alone together makes it bearable.

Underneath the pale moonlight

Dreaming of a circus life

Yedam dreams that they’re dancing on the Han River that night. The moon, bright and tranquil, hangs low in the sky and provides a dance floor on the water for them; a pleasant break from the solar intensity of their mutual longing. Almost no words are exchanged, and the music they dance to is something he won’t remember upon waking, but that’s alright. All that matters is Doyoung smiling with that special sparkle in his eye that’s only for Yedam, leading him down the river with one hand in his and the other on his waist.

A carnival appears by the riverside after a while, and maybe it doesn’t make sense, but then again, dreams are never really supposed to.

Carousels and Ferris heights

I'll be yours if you'll be mine

Doyoung gives him a look and all of a sudden they’re in the carriage seat of a carousel running full speed ahead, fast enough that Yedam has to cling to Doyoung’s arm like the meek protagonist of a cliche romance drama, but it’s alright because Doyoung in his dream is laughing and holding him tight and the Doyoung in reality will never know what happens in Yedam’s dreams about him.

Another look and three words that Yedam only hears in his dreams and they’re at the top of a ferris wheel with the moon smiling down at them. Doyoung looks so gorgeous like this, bathed in pale light and watching the river below them. He lets Yedam curl up against his side as usual, pressing a kiss to his head in that shameless way he always does. Something feels different about this dream as they sit in silence, building and building as they ascend to the top of the wheel. Doyoung seems unaffected, so Yedam doesn’t speak on it. Better to keep this dream quiet than turn it into a nightmare.

It stays silent until the very top of the wheel, where it comes creaking to a stop. There, Doyoung says the only words that Yedam will remember when he wakes up.

“Hyung, I want you to be mine.” God, of course Yedam would be, there’s no universe where he wouldn’t. Still, to protect his heart, there’s one condition.

“I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine in return. Will you?”

Cause I'm lonely, I'm so lonely

If you hold me, I'll be your only

Yedam wakes up alone before he can get an answer. The sheets are still warm, and he wraps himself up in them to pretend like he had gotten one. Hmm, perhaps he’s lonelier than he first thought. Pondering his dream, a sudden burst of emotion catches him by surprise. All this time, all the hours in the studio, all the breakdowns on camera, all the soft words exchanged in darkness behind closed doors, even the few cheek kisses he had managed to push the limit of platonic for… He had already done everything needed for something to finally come out from this game of longing that they’ve been playing. Perhaps another collapse is needed, because Yedam’s star—shaped heart is growing heavy under the weight of his emotions and it’s going to break down into a supernova soon if they keep going like this.

Maybe it won’t be so bad if he does. Neutron stars sometimes remain and glow on after novas, so maybe he could move on and set Doyoung free if Venus decides to spare him. However, it’s the other possibility that he fears. Black holes are indiscriminate in their destruction, sucking in everything and warping them beyond recognition or salvation on their way down to hell knows where. Yedam has always considered himself a calm, rational person, but if things go wrong enough that he breaks… He doesn’t want to think about it.

Are you lonely? (Are you lonely?)

Our fingers dancing when they meet

The bed dipping behind him as Doyoung returns finally snaps him from his spiraling thoughts. He undoes Yedam’s cocoon of blankets to hold him properly, entwining his fingers with the hand that Yedam’s holding over his heart, warm and safe. Yedam could cry.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Oh. he already is.

He can’t speak, scared that he’ll open his mouth and fifteen times the mass of the fucking planet earth’s worth of feelings are going to drop down on Doyoung, and he can’t do that to him. He just squeezes Doyoung’s hand a little tighter, hoping to convey the words that he can’t say.

“... Are you lonely, hyung?”

You seem so lonely (Are you lonely?)

I'll be the only dream you seek

Yes. God, yes. But that isn’t something he can say, not when Doyoung needs comfort more than him. He’ll keep Doyoung in his orbit, but only seek him out in his dreams. It’s better that way, safer for both of their hearts.

Still, Doyoung is insistent, sighing softly and pulling Yedam's back flush against his chest. He's so warm it shakes Yedam to the core, his fragile heart threatening to crack under the proximity. Please, stop… You can’t know how much I love you. I shouldn’t want you to love me back this badly...

So if you're lonely, no need to show me

If you're lonely, come be lonely with me

"You don't have to say anything, it's okay. I know." Doyoung whispers, his thumb gently caressing the back of Yedam's hand. "You've always been there for me when I'm feeling down. It's my turn now." It’s everything that Yedam needs to hear, the spark that he needs if he wants to keep burning, yet it pains him just as much as if Doyoung had violently spurned him. He whimpers in pain and Doyoung hums in sympathy, pressing a kiss to the junction between his shoulder and neck. “I’m sorry it took me so long, hyung. I’ve been scared, but you’ve given me the courage to finally tell you, I… I’m in love with you, hyung. I’m so sorry it took you being hurt for me to quit being so complacent.”

Yedam finally manages to breathe, ragged and stuttering. Every word, every little action that he had received from Doyoung since he had returned to him was a thundering rain cloud over the drought—ravaged riverbank of his heart that had been crumbling under the solar wrath of his yearning. Unaccustomed to the sudden rapids, his banks swell and burst, shattering the damn that had held back the tears he had been trying to stop. Doyoung holds him through the flood, whispering soft apologies and affirmations until he can calm down, let his love sink in and steady him.

“No fair,” Yedam chokes out, “I’m supposed to be the one holding you together when you’re hurting.”

“Not when you’re hurting more than me, hyung,” Doyoung murmurs. “I should have noticed sooner… Both your feelings and the way you’ve been falling apart for me.” He plays with Yedam’s hands as he speaks, melting him further.

“I hoped you wouldn’t, to be honest. I didn’t mind being lonely as long as I can be there for you.” The way Yedam clings to Doyoung’s hands greatly contrasts his words, and Doyoung sighs.

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Doyoung grumbles, though his voice holds no venom. “From now on, if you’re lonely, you have to come be lonely with me, okay? I want to love you more than I do now, to make up for me hurting you.”

Maybe it’s cheesy, maybe it doesn’t exactly eliminate Yedam’s problems at the root, but god, it’s just so Doyoung. The same Doyoung whose meteor showers of affection always seemed so distant and unattainable, but now have him bracing for impact. He always figured he would go down like Cassini, de—orbiting and confessing once he started to break down under his feelings and burning up in the atmosphere of Doyoung letting him down easily, but being knocked into romantic orbit by Doyoung’s own confession is decidedly much better.

“Okay. Let’s be lonely together, then.”

Are you lonely?

Passion is crashing as we speak

Enduring this god—forsaken competition becomes a little easier with Doyoung's light by his side after that night, if not more high—stakes. They already hide their friendship from the cameras well, and a relationship is no different; if anything they hide so well that their fans worry there was a falling out. If only they knew how much time the two lonely souls spent together, crashing into each other after spending the day apart. It’s getting to the point where Yedam worries he’s being a bother, but Doyoung always welcomes his clinging. Admittedly he’s gotten better at handling distance between them now that there's no risk of getting separated, but his touch is still an anchor after the absolute hell they had gone through together.

Like now, the night before their debut.

They’re in Yedam’s room this time, the door closed and locked against any knocking hyungs. Doyoung technically isn’t supposed to be here, but a pout and a few words about inspiration for a new song got him past Hyunsuk at the door easily. Yedam has half a mind to scold him for it, but Doyoung crashing onto his lips and lap easily extinguishes the words on the tip of his tongue. Like an asteroid getting dragged away from Earth by Jupiter, Yedam easily switches all his attention to Doyoung, his homework be damned.

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed kissing Doyoung, the tension of weeks of being too tired from practice and schoolwork and TMap filming and his own solo debut for anything other than a lingering hug finally bleeding from his shoulders. He sighs and Doyoung tilts his head just so, and all of a sudden he’s reeling from the impact of all the passion he didn’t know he had been repressing.

You seem so lonely

You're the ground my feet won't reach

Doyoung smirks against his lips, pulling back with a purr of “I knew you missed me.”

“S’lonely without you,” he huffs, meeting Doyoung’s self—satisfied grin with a half—lidded glare. He’s so close, Yedam can see the mini galaxies in his eyes. As if he couldn’t get any more gorgeous…

Doyoung kisses him again before he can think of anything else, cupping his face and disconnecting them from gravity just like how Yedam had longed to do months ago. They had kissed before; quick meteor—like moments stolen during precious seconds of unsupervised free time—bright, but never long enough to truly capture and savor. This, however, is an aurora: languid, intense, vibrant, and utterly breathtaking. Funny how just a press of the lips and the occasional swipe of a tongue will have Yedam so dazed that he can’t feel his feet reach the ground, clinging to Doyoung to ground himself, but then again it’s Doyoung , and Doyoung has impacted him in so many ways that their souls have become entwined, so there’s no use trying to resist.

So if you're lonely

Darling you're glowing

If you're lonely, come be lonely with me

They have to separate for air eventually, though they stay close in each other’s orbits, close enough that they can still feel the heat from each other’s atmospheres. Yedam drops his head onto Doyoung’s shoulder, his chest heavy with the hollow that’s no longer there. He has to collect his thoughts before he can bear to look at Doyoung again, connect the dots to form the constellation that is the epiphany he had finally come to realize in the past week of missing him. He presses a kiss to Doyoung’s neck for good luck, not missing the way his breath hitches as he does.

“Doyoung—ah.”

His pupils are blown wide when Yedam meets his gaze, glowing with anticipation and unadulterated love at the call of his name. He’s so bright that Yedam nearly falters until he remembers that he would probably see that same glow if he looked in the mirror.

“Damie—hyung?”

“You know, I’ve always loved thinking of myself as a star. Not just like an idol, but like a real star, up in space. My passion and dreams are my gravity, and it’s strong enough to generate my drive to be who I am now and improve that, my light and heat. I see everyone as stars, really, but you were one of the first to pull me into your orbit along with Hyunsuk—hyung and Jihoon—hyung. All of us, we’re orbiting around the same dream of debuting, our barycenter. You, though… We have our own, the one that I found the day I saw you leaning by yourself against the practice room wall. It was there the whole time, drawing us together. I think it was our shared loneliness, at first, but now it’s something different... ” Yedam pauses to lean forward and press his forehead against Doyoung’s so he’ll feel the weight of his next words. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m orbiting around how much I love you, Doyoung.”

Doyoung is blinking back tears at this point, his breath shaky and coming in sobs. Yedam watches him swallow, watches the way his tongue darts out to wet his kiss—swollen lips before he speaks.

“You don’t have to be lonely anymore, hyung. You’ve been there for me at my worst, and I promised I’d be there for yours. I know it took me a long time, and I should have loved you more than I did when I realized—”

“You didn’t—”

“—but now I finally understand. I know what true love is, and it’s the gravity that pulled me in, it’s the way you still keep shining even when your light is flickering and any normal person would have blown out by then. It’s the way you look at me when no one else is looking, the way you can never get your hands off me whenever I’m within reach. You may be orbiting around your love, but I’m getting bombarded by mine. Now I know how the moon felt, constantly getting hit by asteroids.”

A moment of silence passes between the two, the calm after a pair of supernovas. Twin neutron stars are left in their wake, tears streaming down their faces as they return to Earth, back down to two boys in YG’s idol dorms, one in the other’s lap. Yedam recovers first, pulling Doyoung the rest of the way down with a kiss. They both smile against each other’s lips, still exhilarated from their confessions. The exhaustion will catch up to them soon, but Yedam still has one last question.

“Be my boy, Doyoung?”

“Only if you’ll be mine.”

#this side of paradise #treasure #dodam #canon compliant #annual #i remember trying to hide the song lyrics with html tricks on ao3 but that didn't work lmao #anyway i wrote this like mid-pandemic so I'm sure you can spot all my issues through this fic

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bladeshowers · 2 years

Note

2, 5, 19-22, 27, 32, 36

Do you RP anywhere else, other than tumblr?

I doo. I rp on some forums, but they're primarily more geared towards original settings and some other fandoms. I'm not as heavily invested into them.

Is there any other muse in this fandom you RP?

I've contemplated trying some muses. I do feel weird about trying out some new ones in case they don't exactly stick or aren't really requested. Not to mention who others write or canons I actually have rps with. I've thought about writing Y'shtola, Asahi, and Fandaniel before. The latter because he's my emotional support ascian despite what an ass he is. Otherwise tho? No.

Do you have ship bias?

With my oc's yeah. Some canon's also yeah. Some personalities just mesh better with others. Some I can see with anyone like G'raha, Aymeric, or Emet. Ardbert I feel like could be shipped with most characters within reason and actual build up. Venat/Hydaelyn I don't really ship with anyone and have tenatively labeled her as ace in my head. I'm open to seeing if that changes but it would have to be like a chemistry + plotting type deal.

What’s a ship you don’t want to roleplay at all with this muse? (except Bad Illegal And Gross Stuff, of course)

^ Nothing really. Most of my notps are involving characters I don't actually write as.

What do you think of your muse’s popular fandom ship?

I mean, my warriors of light and their popular ships all make sense. Ardbert I don't think has one that's popular? if he does I haven't dug into it much shrug emoji.

What do you think of your muse’s canon ship, if they have one?

They don't, luckily. Ngl I generally dislike canon ships to some extent because it's rare I actually like them. But I am that ass with unpopular shipping opinions(TM).

Are you interested into poly relationships for your muse?

POSSIBLY. I'm generally okay with poly ships if it's three characters between two people. When more people get involved it raises the possibility of drama and I'm too old and laid back. Some muses gravitate more easily to it than others - e.g. - Amara with caveats since she's an extremely jealous and possessive person when push comes to shove and would have to be the star of the show for lack of a better description. Evan is more open to being loving to everyone, without labels or settling down, which is an easy way for people to get hurt icly. Ardbert, I'm not sure on.

Do you regularly do dash commentaries?

Nah. I'm more likely to do them on my other blog since I have a tiny friend group over there. Here I just kind of vibe and go with the flow. I only talk too…two people on discord about rp related things? So I usually don't get inspired to do it and I also don't usually read other people's rp unless a word catches my interest. Or pretty graphics. I read ooc stuff, character headcanons, etc.

Do you feel similar to your muse in any way?

Sort of. Each of them has tiny bits inspired by me or my thoughts/feelings/headcanons that are either overemphasized for differences or under-emphasized. Evan has most of my preferred classes in xiv as her specializations. Her hair color is my favorite color. She tends to be very tomboy-ish like I am. Amara is a xiv-ified version of an oc i've had forever and tweak to whatever setting I want to reinvent her in. She has my interest in technology and general cynical view towards the world and other people.

#ahkmourn #out of quests (answered)#long post

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jenohi · 3 years

Text

stranger

PAIRING ▸ Watanabe Haruto x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol

WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?

SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.

PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 9626

UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team

A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you’re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.

A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.

You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.

When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.

What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.

Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.

But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”

Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”

Haruto nodded.

“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.

In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.

Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.

You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.

“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.

“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”

You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”

Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”

“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”

“Oh, I see.”

Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.

“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.

“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.

You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.

“Awesome.”

After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”

“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.

“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”

Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?

“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.

“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.

“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.

Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.

“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”

“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.

“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”

You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”

“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.

You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.

“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”

“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”

“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.

“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”

“Well, I told her a secret as well.”

You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.

“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.

“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”

“You don’t have any guy friends?”

“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”

You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”

“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”

“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”

“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”

You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.

“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.

“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

“You should consider transferring to my school?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”

“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”

“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.

“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”

“Good night Y/N.”

The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.

The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’

The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.

“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”

“Uh, about that. Well, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”

“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”

“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”

“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”

Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”

Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”

“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.

“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”

“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”

“It was her. Y/N.”

“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”

“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”

“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”

“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”

“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”

“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.

A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.

Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.

You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”

“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”

“Do you...remember my name?”

You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”

Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”

“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.

Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?

You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?

“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.

If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”

Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”

“Still…”

“Is your manager even here right now?”

“No.”

“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”

You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”

You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.

“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.

You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”

“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”

Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”

“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”

You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.

“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”

“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.

“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”

You didn’t remember. “Right.”

Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”

Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”

“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”

“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.

“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”

You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.

Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?

You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’

Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.

The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”

“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”

“You mean like a diary?”

Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”

“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”

“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”

“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”

“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”

Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”

Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”

“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”

Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.

Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?

“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”

“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”

“Can’t you say something to him?”

“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”

Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”

“Haruto!”

“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.

Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.

“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”

Haruto beamed and nodded.

“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.

Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.

Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?

Haruto: Yes, I just finished

Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?

Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?

Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.

Haruto: Junkyu?

Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.

Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.

Mashiho: Np.

Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”

“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.

The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”

Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ruto! How were tryouts?”

“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”

“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”

“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”

“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”

“Eh?”

“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”

“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”

“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”

“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.

“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”

“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”

“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”

“Damn. That’s insane.”

“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”

Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.

The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.

At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling alright coach.”

“Up for a few more hours?”

Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”

“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”

“Alright coach.”

Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”

“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”

“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”

“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”

Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”

Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”

The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.

“You need to quash that habit.”

“Yeah yeah.”

At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.

“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.

“It was intense.”

“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”

“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”

“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”

Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”

“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”

There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.

“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”

The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.

“What are you doing here Y/N?”

“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”

Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”

But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”

That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.

“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.

“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.

Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.

You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”

You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.

“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.

Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”

Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?

On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?

Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.

“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”

Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”

Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”

“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”

“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”

“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”

Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”

“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”

“Hanbyul.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”

“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”

On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.

It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”

It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.

“Dude what the hell is your problem?”

“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”

Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”

Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.

When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.

Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.

A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”

“Me? Anything unhealthy.”

You whacked him on the arm for that.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”

A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”

You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”

Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”

“The grass is wet.”

“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”

“Okay.”

Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”

You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”

So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.

Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.

Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”

Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”

Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”

“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”

“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.

“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”

Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”

Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.

And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.

This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.

Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”

An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”

“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”

“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”

“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”

You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.

“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”

You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.

“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.

“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”

“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”

“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”

Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.

“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.

“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”

“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.

“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”

Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”

Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.

“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”

“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”

“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”

“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”

“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.

“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.

Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.

“I understand, doctor.”

The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.

Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?

Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.

Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.

It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.

Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.

By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.

I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.

Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.

It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.

If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.

Love,

Haruto Watanabe

You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.

You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?

These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.

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dreampathic · 3 years

Text

┇haikyuu boys and what squishmallows they buy you┇

❥characters: Tsukishima, Osamu, Atsumu, Kageyama, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Suna

❥warnings: atsumu slander 😬 and making out?

❥genre: fluff

❥a/n: big thanks to @bakugouswh0r3 because she gave me these charcters to work off from 😳✋🏼

part 2

TSUKISHIMA

Pretty self explanatory

Actually got it for himself but you saw it on his bed and fell in love

He told you, you can’t have him

But you pouted

And HES like “no stop hes mine”

Like calm down Jamal, don’t pull out the nine

He gives in and you guys come to an arrangement you can have him only when you’re at his house

OSAMU

Saw this at the store with Atsumu and immediately thought of you

He also made you Cinnabon’s

Actually idk if this man can bake

Bc baking and cooking are different

But let’s pretend he can bake

ATSUMU

Berry B Benson.

Moving on

Okay okay

So he was on tiktok one day and he saw a video of a boyfriend buying his s/o one of these and then they made out afterward

So he was like

“Okay if I get them a squishmallow they’re gonna want to make out with me”

He got it for you but you just kissed his cheek and went on with your day

KAGEYAMA

Cow=milk

Obviously 🙄

Nah but fr

You were gushing about getting the strawberry cow pillow pet and we’re going to get it but it sold out 💀

And then oikawa knew u were sad so he wanted to get u the next best thing

And he didn’t know what it was so he had to awkwardly ask the third years

And asahi said “I heard a lot of girls like those sauishmallow things” “asahi..you like those swuishmallow things” -suga

So he searched for a cow one and bought it for you <3

OIKAWA

Oikawa is extra.

Also idky but this bird made me think of rio and rio made me think of Argentina

Rio is in fucking Brazil.

Anyways, he sees it when he’s at the store (conveniently he was there to get some snacks for u and him to share)

And then he sees this beaut

And buys it

He actually buys two

One for him and one for you, obviously

IWAIZUMI

You sent him a tiktok saying how cute squishmallows were and then he got into his car and straight up went to the store to buy one 💀

He didn’t know which one you wanted exactly so he awkwardly asked an employee what she thought

And well he bought this

SUNA

At first he was going to get you a really ugly one as a joke but decided to buy this cutie right here instead

Like Tsuki, it’s more for him than for you tbh

Like wherever he goes your house he steals it

Then when you go to his you steal it back

And it’s an ongoing thing where you guys steal this little guy back and fourth

#haikyuu headcanons #hq atsumu #hq kageyama #kageyama #tsukishima #tsukishima x y/n #osamu x y/n #atsumu x reader #kageyama x y/n #iwaizumi x reader #oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #semi x reader #squishmallows #suna x reader

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humanalias · 3 years

Text

Knock, Listen by TopJoy

59,205 words | 213 pages

Fandom: Transformers

Illustration by amne-chan

When I first started this hobby, this is one of the first fics that I knew I wanted to bind. I find it very viscerally engaging; every time I read this story there comes a point where I have to stop and take a moment to collect myself, it pulls on my emotions so strongly.

Ah, I can't describe quite why I like this fic so much. I find the more I'm emotionally affected by something, the less I can pin down the reason. But one of the things I really love is Prowl's interpretation of the world following his brain injury; the imagery and sensory details used are so interesting to me. Then seeing what he is experiencing from the outside as the story switches between different characters--I really love that kind of interplay between contrasting POVs.

More pics and details after the cut:

Fonts:

Body: Bodoni

Titles: Triptych

Materials:

Bookcloth: Lustre metallic silver (?)

Cover: Chiyogami, silver swirls & gold dots on black

Headbands: DMC Diamant D321 Red; DMC Pearl Cotton Size 5, 310 Black

Title: Cricut Foil Iron-On

Text block: Hammermill Cream 20lbs

Author Copy:

Bookcloth: Brillianta brick (?)

Bookmark: 1/4 in. red Italian cotton ribbon

Text block: Epson premium presentation paper matte; Londonderry linen thread 30/3, Wild Rose

My Copy:

Bookcloth: Asahi crimson

Bookmark: 3/8 in. burgundy satin ribbon

Text block: Lineco linen binder’s thread

I actually ended up making two slightly different copies of this book. That's because I always make my copy first, so I can make all the mistakes on it, instead of the author's copy. Mainly, the bookcloth and paper used to print the illustration are different.

For a long time I was very ??? on the layout of this book; I really couldn't decide what I was going for. Then I realized...I had a fanart I had commissioned earlier that already matched the imagery of the story. So then it was fairly easy to figure out. The other images for the title page and the chapter titles were some free vector graphics.

I wanted a borderless illustration, so (for the author's copy) I used 8.5x11 matte photo paper. Even though the color is different, I don't mind it, and I think the image quality is much better. However, you do end up with a sheet of paper in the middle of the signature that is the wrong color... In retrospect, I should have cut down the sheet on the right side, so it was close to the margins.

I ordered a mixed bundle of bookcloth from this supplier, so I'm not sure exactly what the brand or color is of the silver for the corners and the spine on the author's copy. For my copy, I used this crimson asahi bookcloth, which is not as nearly forgiving to mistakes. It's not coated, so if you get glue on the fabric side, you can't really get it off properly; I tried to blot it some off with water and it left a stain. 🙃

It also has this raised texture, which I'm not really a fan of; it makes me nervous I'm going to snag and rip it somehow. I think it would be more suited to something that doesn't get a lot of handling, or at least someone who is more careful than me.

The next two pictures are of my copy; you can see some of the headband details and texture of the bookcloth. The video is also of my copy, because I forgot to make one of the (better) author's copy. T_T

#maccadam #transformers #TopJoy #Knock Listen #fanbinding #bookbinding #my books

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elysianslove · 3 years

Text

character studies; haikyuu boys

requested by anon(s); character studies for haikyuu boys that had been requested for my 1k Event around a month back! sorry for making you bbys wait so long :(

characters; hoshiumi kōrai, kuroo tetsurō, kageyama tobio, daishō suguru, daichi sawamura, asahi azumane, miya atsumu, kita shinsuke, iwaizumi hajime

synopsis;

the character’s general personality

the character’s general motivation

the character’s motivation towards you

the character’s love language

the character’s preferred dates

what kissing the character feels like

what being with the character feels like

genre; fluff

warnings; just some curse words!

notes; if you’re interested in other characters, check out my masterlist! :) if you requested for a jujutsu kaisen character and i haven’t written for them yet, don’t worry, i will!

HOSHIUMI KŌRAI

hoshiumi’s general personality; there isn’t enough of this cutie honestly :( but honestly, the more i read of his personality and see of him in manga panels, the more i love him. i hope i can put this in words: hoshiumi is scarily skilled, in the sense that when you watch him, you’re not intimidated by him, but rather, in awe. you can visibly see all the effort he’d put into honing his skills whenever you watch him play. especially because he’s so quiet and concentrated during games, making him a completely different person on court. as a person, i see him as being extremely reliable and having a really strong, but quiet presence. so that when you’re around him, he doesn’t have to speak to let himself be known, you know? also! i remember him being really offended when an interviewer commented about how good of a player he is despite his height, and i honestly understand it. no matter what he does, he’s constantly being reduced to just his height, and how that influences everything, but there’s so much more to him than that. of course, his reasoning behind joining volleyball and becoming one of the best in japan is a little silly, but he is driven in general, and very determined. but i also don’t think he’s smug or overly confident or arrogant about his skills, even if he should because of the ladder he’d had to climb to get to where he is. he’s confident, of course, but he’s not annoyingly so. he won’t rub it in anyone’s face, because he has peace with it, in a way? like he himself is aware of it, so there’s no need to get that constant validation from others. like i said, him on court and him off court are two different people: so yes, he does love being showered in appreciation and attention, but for him, not for his volleyball self. he knows he’s good at volleyball, but appreciate him for more than that, for more than being so good despite being short; appreciate him for being caring, for being diligent and hard-working, for being a constant, reassuring and uplifting presence in everyone’s life. as i mention in the motivation section, i think hoshiumi is a very curious individual, in the sense that he’s always looking for adventure, always looking for something to catch his eye, snatch away his attention, to leave him in awe, to leave him breathless and exhilarated. i don’t think he’s an adrenaline junkie, after having said that, but i do think he’s in love with spontaneity.

motivation; i think hoshiumi’s motivation is very simple, and it’s to better himself. to not have his inspiration and drive rely solely on to be a better version of his brother, to be better than his brother in general, but rather improve so that he can hone his own skills, so he can wow everyone around him, to be given the title of best spiker without a single comment on his height, to the best, regardless. to be the best just because he is the best. towards you, it would probably be his curiosity. like i mentioned above, i see him as really curious, so he watches you from afar, observes you, wondering how much more there is to you, wanting to learn more about you. he wants to learn of your interests and hobbies, whether they align with his or not, whether he can give you all you want or not.

hoshiumi’s love language; physical touch and acts of service. despite what i initially thought, i don’t think he’d be too into pda. he won’t mind kissing you in front of others, of course, because there is a little part of him that’s incredibly smug about being your partner. but then again, he prefers things like holding onto your hand, or linking your pinkies together, or piggy back rides. he loves to constantly be helping you somehow, and also consecutively feed into his ego a lil, so he’ll constantly be carrying your things for you, helping you cook by cutting up vegetables, or handing you ingredients, or helping you renovate your room at three in the morning. he really likes the little things that build up to shape domesticity between the two of you, but loudly, you know? as in the love he has for you is well-known: he’ll proudly wear your scrunchie on his wrist, or let you do a little make up on him and walk around with it. he’d tattoo your name on his forehead if he could.

hoshiumi’s preferred dates; the beach, hiking, theme parks, staying in and playing physically active games like twister, fast food drive throughs

kissing hoshiumi; really playful, and a little giggly too. it’s not silly kissing, it’s serene, but it leaves you feeling all bubbly in the way he wraps his arms around your neck and pushes you to him like you’re the only one that matters in this world

what being with hoshiumi feels like; baking with someone and making a mess with the ingredients, but you can’t stop laughing

KUROO TETSURŌ

kuroo’s general personality; oh boy here we go. okay so we all know provocative, smug, cheeky kuroo, yeah? and i firmly believe that yes, that really a part of his personality. there is a part of him that really is like that. a person’s personality is never black and white, and that’s exactly the case with kuroo: there’s a lot to him. it’s not just that at first glance he seems intimidating and scarily attractive, he is. but i think there’s a reason for that, and in a way, it’s a coping mechanism. kuroo is, deep down, a huge dork, and a really big nerd. but like i said, there’s nothing wrong with being both that and a little bit of an asshole sometimes. it’s just that i think there’s a reason that other part of his personality developed, and it’s a way to protect himself, you know? i’m pretty sure it’s canon that kuroo’s parents didn’t entirely get along, and it’s really easy to feel alone in situations like that, so that really suave and attractive and charming part of him developed so that he can attract people to him, so that he can have this pulling effect on others. it makes you want to spend time with him, lose yourself to the hours with him. that doesn’t mean kuroo tries to hold back his nerdy side, or that he’s ashamed of his funnier, dorkier side. if anything, i think he’s pretty confident in both sides of him. because just as that ‘cool’ side of him is dazzling, the louder, cheekier side of him is pretty charming too. on a completely separate note, i think kuroo cares, oh he cares so much. his heart is too big, if i’m being honest. he wants his friends to succeed, wants to see them be their best, is always pushing them to be better. he means it, he really does. he won’t say it out loud, but if you need him, he’s staying up extra hours for you, getting you your favorite snacks, being extra touchy on a day he notices you’re upset. he’s very aware of everyone’s emotions around him, and that might be because of his parents too, in which he’s become really hyper aware of any telltale signs, you know? all that being said, pair him with bokuto and he’s a crackhead

motivation; i honestly think kuroo always puts people above himself. i can’t explain why, but i just know that he does. make sure my friends are okay, then i’ll check on myself. push my friends to do better, and then work on motivating myself. watch my friends succeed before i look at how far i’ve come. being so proud of his friends, before he realizes how proud he is of himself too. so, in turn, his motivation would be the people around him. he thrives on communication and socializing and having strong, close connections and relationships with people. that is his main motivation. in regards to you, it’s a little different. i mentioned in one of my headcanons for him that he’s really suave and cool around everyone except his crush, and i stand by that, honestly. the only way to rid himself of that nervousness and endless amount of butterflies in his stomach would be to confess to you, removing that weight off of him. also you’re like, really pretty lol

kuroo’s love language; very touchy, very, very touchy, so it’s definitely physical affection and physical touch, with possibly acts of service. acts of service in that he notices when you stay up late to help him practice, or his own willingness to stay with you as you power through an all-nighter, or just silently knowing right away what either of you need without having to speak. he loves, loves, loves pda. he will make out with you in public, he doesn’t care, nothing can stop him. likes to have his arm around you constantly, or does that stupid thing where he puts his hand in your back pocket, or approaching you from behind and and hugging you and kissing all over your neck even if you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone

kuroo’s preferred dates; literally anything they’re all fun with him. fancy dinners or diner visits, movie dates at the cinema or at home, arcade visits, walks at the park, the beach

kissing kuroo; oh it’s breathtaking. it’s always really passionate, and always has you gripping at his shirt at the way he forces your heart into your throat, or the way he has your stomach flipping at the small gasps he lets out when he kisses you open mouthed, which happens more often than not

what being with kuroo feels like; like hugging someone you haven’t seen in years, where your arms are thrown around them tightly and they hold you to them and your heart is about to burst from your chest

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

kageyama’s general personality; the most misunderstood character :( he is not just an angry boy >:( he is just really, really passionate, especially about volleyball, and he wants other people to try and share that passion with him. he’s just really bad at expressing his feelings, and communicating with other people. like all it is is that kageyama loves volleyball, and he takes it very seriously, and when other people don’t, he takes slight offense to that, because in his eyes it just seems after they’re discarding or mocking the sport. that annoyance translates wrong into anger, but the place it originates from really is just pure. have you seen how happy volleyball makes him? he’s not a bad person, not by a long shot. and his character development too! it wasn’t that he wasn’t willing to communicate, it was that people weren’t willing to try with him. they took him for what he seemed like, not what he truly is. when he joined karasuno, they allowed him space to properly express himself, and they introduced him to what became a family to him. he learned to trust, learned to communicate. he’s not a bad person!! he’s just!!! a kid!!! he learns, slowly but surely, and he changes, for the better. okay but, completely different thing to mention. kageyama’s good at volleyball. no, he’s good. and he knows he is. he’s not really smug about it, but it’s not like his confidence is misplaced. he’s just aware of his skills, but he’s also aware of his flaws, and as he grows as a person, he’s more willing to take a step back and look and observe himself, to better himself as a player. i also think kags is insanely determined. like that episode where he studied his ass off just so he could pass and barely made it to the tokyo training camp? how does that directly translate into determination? he really is willing to put his all and more to improve, to play, to the best.

motivation; like i mentioned above, it’s definitely to become improve himself. it’s not that he’s never satisfied with how he is or his skills, it’s more that he’s sure there’s still more space for him to better himself, that this isn’t all that he’s capable of and that he can do better, that he can be better. like i said, it’s not that he puts himself down about not being enough, on the contrary; he believes that he’s one of the best, but that’s not his limit, there’s more to him, there’s more for him to explore. towards you is a little bit trickier, honestly. he honestly wouldn’t even know he has a crush on you until one of his upperclassmen noticed his reactions towards you, and they confront him about him to which he responds ‘oh, so that’s what that is?’ like he really is so clueless. i don’t think he’d have a full on motivation with you, he just wants to be around you, because he finds that he kind of does enjoy the feeling he experiences when he’s around you. it’s really as simple as that

kageyama’s love language; acts of service, absolutely, and, privately, physical touch. it’s not that he won’t hold your hand if you slip it in his, or he won’t return your kiss if you do kiss him in public, but it’s more of you’re the one that usually initiates these things. but! that does not mean kageyama isn’t touchy. he really is, a hundred and ten percent, touch starved. look at him! please! he is craving your touch almost always, he just doesn’t like initiating it in public, and occasionally he’ll take the initiative at home. but please, hug him, hold him, cuddle him, grasp his hand for hours, kiss all over his face. he absolutely adores it. and he shows his love better, takes initiative of it more, when it comes to giving. one of my headcanons for him i mentioned that whenever he gets milk from the vending machine, he gets you your favorite snack too, just because in his head he’s like ‘oh, they’d like that.’ it’s things like that with kags.

kageyama’s preferred dates; don’t do anything involving competitiveness he will go crazy. but things like carnival dates, or diner visits, or ice skating, or stargazing

kissing kageyama; really soft and sweet. it’s very timid and careful and cautious, but he always kisses you fully on the lips, his eyes fluttering shit, his hand coming to rest at the base of your throat, slightly on your chest

what being with kageyama feels like; falling asleep on the beach, sunburnt, with sand and salt on your skin, your body warm but the breeze cool

DAISHŌ SUGURU

daishō’s general personality; i feel like all the haikyuu boys have so much more to them than what seems as a front. like our introduction to suguru was him being this snake-like, manipulative character. i mean nearly all his and his teammates tactics against nekoma were related to manipulation. but why is he inclined to that trait? i don’t know much about canon him, but i like to think that he was kind of in the shadow when he was younger, and the only way he could’ve gotten people to listen or pay attention to him was being this unlikeable and intimidating character. but canon-wise, i think just as his manipulativeness is his strength, it’s also his weakness, and i also think he’s really aware of that, and he knows this tactic has its faults. i also don’t think he’s insanely determined, because yeah he was upset after the match with nekoma, but it wasn’t earth-shattering. from what i’ve seen with his interactions with mika, though, i think he’s very loving, deep down, and very subtly. he doesn’t show it outwardly, but you can see the way he looks at her, the way he gets so proud whenever she remembers something about volleyball. i don’t think he’s a bad person, per se, because at the end of the day, this is also seventeen, eighteen year old suguru, and there’s so much space for him to grow out of this. i think it’s more that he’s the type of person to prefer the easy way out, so he relies on things like getting on the referee’s good side. it could also be that he’s aware of his downfalls so he wants to have anything to his and his team’s advantage, you know? it’s not to say he doesn’t put in effort, because i still think he does, or even that he’s lazy, but it’s more that he wants something and he has a way of getting it that’s faster for him, you know? like i said, i don’t think he’s a bad person, at all. everybody has their flaws, and i think all the haikyuu boys have their own, it’s just that suguru’s is more explicit.

motivation; so like i mentioned how he likes the easy way out, i think suguru’s motivation would be to have high achievements. he seems like an insatiable person, one that always wants more, and more, and more, so he’s always climbing up higher. but also, even though he’s insatiable, he kinda? gives up easily? or not that he gives up easily, it’s more that he’s okay with a loss, or that he accepts defeat relatively easy with a shrug, as in “there’ll be more opportunities, it’s not the end of the world.” towards you, suguru would probably want to have you as his s/o to prove to himself, or to prove to others, that’s capable or worthy of someone like you. it’s kind of sad in a way, because in his head you’re way out of his league, but he makes it seem as a front that you’re just barely worthy of him when he asks you out, simply as a defense mechanism.

daishō love language; subtle acts of affection, 100%. you could see how happy he was to explain to mika all about volleyball, and how happy he was to know that she had been listening and actually putting in an effort to understand the sport that he likes. it’s things like that that really, really matter to him. listening intently when the other speaks of something they’re passionate about, remembering tiny details, like their favorite drink, or their go-to order at a restaurant, or something they’d mentioned in passing that they really wanted, or the way they prefer to sleep at night. that’s the way he expresses his love, definitely.

daishō’s preferred dates; visiting movie theaters, staying in, late night strolls on the beach, clubs/parties

kissing daishō; really, really slow and lazy, kinda lewd as well, in that it’s shameless, and loud

what being with daishō feels like; the feeling when you predict a plot twist in a movie or show correctly

DAICHI SAWAMURA

daichi’s general personality; dad. what a dad. such a Dad. dadchi sawamura. i think it’s very obvious that he’s a very mature character, and he easily fits in the role of a leader. i think him being captain is perfect, because he leads the team perfectly, and he knows all his teammates really well, and is able to respond to each of them correctly, knows how to motivate them perfectly. in that way, he’s a very, very reliable person. he’s someone you can lean on constantly, whenever, wherever. someone you can turn to knowing that your best interests are in their mind when he reaches out to give you advice. he’s someone that will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. he’s also not the type of person that considers the role of a leader and captain as a burden, not someone that thinks it’s a really big responsibility which he wishes can be taken off his shoulders from time to time. no, he appreciates the role, and takes it with all of its heavy weight. he’s really independent and mature in that sense. it’s not to say that he’s very stable constantly, because everyone has their moments, and although he really is unbothered by the responsibility, i think he constantly overthinks his decisions. maybe not so often, but it happens, because every decision he’s ever taken has impacted all of his teammates consecutively, you know? he has to think big, consider the big picture. but yeah, daichi is a very reliable and mature person. will it get annoying and will it have you begging him to loosen up every once in a while? maybe, but is he also very childish at times? yes. make sure to get it on camera though

motivation; much like kuroo, the fact that they’re both captains aside, he does everything for other people. it’s different though because kuroo puts other people above himself, but daichi thinks for everyone including himself. the only one with braincells. he thinks broadly, and considers all consequences for both himself, and for others. his motivation would probably be to see himself and everyone succeed and be their best, to see their efforts put into work, to be able to be incredibly proud of everything they’ve achieved. he really is such a dad. towards you, however, it’s a lot sweeter, and it’d be something like his infatuation with you. he’d want to be the reason for your happiness, wants to be yours, wants you to be all his. kinda possessive but like, in a sweet way.

daichi’s love language; confessions and domestic acts. daichi is unafraid to let you know he loves you, regardless of who’s around, or where you two are. he’s super okay with wrapping his ams around you randomly and just pressing a kiss to your temple and going “i love you.” he doesn’t know why he does it so often, maybe every time he says it, it reassures him. domestic acts in how he’s so comfortable waking up next to you, or how when you sleep over at his house you still get up and make breakfast, or how even folding laundry together is fun. he finds huge comfort in being able to appreciate the most mundane things, like doing the dishes or cleaning around the house, can feel so serene and loving with you.

daichi’s preferred dates; fancy dinners, mini golf, theme parks, road trips, driving up mountains

kissing daichi; weirdly, it’s not soft as you’d expect, more rough and possessive. he always kisses you like someone is watching and he wants to show you off, to prove that you’re all his.

what being with daichi feels like; listening to a love song and feeling nostalgic, even if you’ve never been in love

ASAHI AZUMANE

asahi’s general personality; oh i love this big teddy bear <3 that’s literally what he is. i absolutely adore the fact that he’s really intimidating physically, but his personality is the farthest thing from it; in fact, it’s the complete opposite. i have something important to include though!! in the same way asahi’s very fragile, especially his esteem, and the same way he guilts himself entirely and places the blame on himself whenever something goes wrong, he’s also very easily, and very steadily uplifted (as in, a win is a win, it’s sure and certain and it’s grounding), very easy to accept wins for everyone, not just take all the credit. when he spikes a ball and they score a point, it’s not a win for him, it’s a win for the entire team. that easily translates to asahi being a very giving and thoughtful person. he has a heart too big for him, and yes he’s an over-thinker, but that just means he’s mindful of others, very cautious and careful. although i think if you approach him with an issue, like you’re straight up sobbing, at first he’d be a little wary and anxious and awkward, i also believe he’d be exceptionally good at comforting someone after a few moments. his presence alone is comforting, but he knows if you need to be held or not, knows if you need to be listened to simply, or if you want advice as well, knows if you need comfort in food, or comfort in distraction. asahi just knows. and he’s definitely the one that uses that physical intimidation to his advantage when it comes to like, walking girls home, so that no one bothers them, or being in the same area as someone he knows that’s constantly bullied because just his figure alone scares them off. and my goodness, he’d definitely just subtly slide up beside a girl that he’s noticed is being eyed by men. he’s just... really pure.

motivation; i think asahi’s motivation is a little more personal, and it’s probably to believe more in himself. it’s to put himself in situations where his skills are tested so that he can improve, to lessen of his fears, to lessen of his self-doubt, to grow more confident and sure of himself, you know? towards you, oh my god. asahi would never approach you. he really wants to, because he really likes you, has liked you for as long as he can remember, but he won’t approach you, unless one of his friends threatens to do it for him. that’d probably be it honestly: he just chooses to embarrass himself instead of having anyone else embarrass him. at least he has a little more control in that former option.

asahi’s love language; he’s most definitely touch starved, so physical affection!!! he always wants to be touching you, even if it’s simple hand holding. he definitely links your pinkies together too! and honestly, i think he would like public displays of affection, even if it gets him really flustered. of course, don’t straight up make out with him in the middle of a public setting, but give him a little peck on his lips, or cheek kisses, or random hugs where you wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his chest and press a little kiss there too. also!!! forehead kisses!!!! he always, always gives those!!!

asahi’s preferred dates; stargazing, beach picnics, park visits, nights in, any place he can dance with you to slow, serene music honestly

kissing asahi; it always makes you feel all warm inside, and always flutters the butterflies in your stomach. it’s not slow, nor is it fast, it’s just steady, but it’s pouring love and passion

what being with asahi feels like; being the only one awake at home at a really late timing

MIYA ATSUMU

atsumu’s general personality; i’m sorry if i bore you guys because fair warning, this bout to be long as hell. unlike oikawa, who i think has this charming, intimidatingly skilled attitude as a front, i think atsumu’s personality is just expressed or comes off incorrectly. as in, for example, he’s really sensitive when it comes to carelessness in regards to volleyball, but it comes off as selfishness and rudeness, even though the origin of it all isn’t his want to be rude. it’s not that he doesn’t know how to express his feelings either, because i know that his feelings are loud, it’s just that he doesn’t know how to make it add up, in a way? i also think he’s self-centered, yes, but as a defense mechanism. this is gonna sound really sad but it’s more like, “i won’t give you a chance to make something awful to hate about me,” and something like, “i’m in control of why they hate me.” also, there’s no way that never affected him. maybe as a child, it didn’t really cross his thoughts, because he’s always had osamu anyways, and he couldn’t really make sense of it all, but as he grew older, the more it became clearer that he wasn’t entirely likable, and that really took a toll on him, worsening his attitude towards people. people aren’t rude for no reason, you know? there’s always a place it stemmed from. he takes refuge in that he’s good at volleyball. yeah he’s a piece of shit, but his setting? no one can top it. he has that, and he owns it, and no one can take it away from him. i think atsumu’s one of those people where, over the years, you can watch and see their light dim, in a way. like he’s not a depressed person or anything like that, he just becomes less and less... bright? angrier, irritable, less inclined to trust others and let them in, self conceited. it’s also probably a result of being left out or rejected by others. but the thing is, atsumu is all these things, but he’s also childlike, and so full of love. you can see the way he interacts on the court, his dynamic with his teammates, the way he reacts to kita’s ‘get well soon’ bag. he really is just a ball of sunshine, but it’s all cooped up inside. it’s been buried underneath a mountain of self destructive thoughts and negativity from others. i also consider him a very impulsive person, the type to never think twice before anything, but that can translate into spontaneity too! it’s both a positive and a negative thing. atsumu is also very, very trustworthy person. in short, atsumu is very cheery once around the right people, in the right setting, but he’s so quick to shift into intimidation if necessary.

motivation; of course, just like osamu, atsumu’s main drive is his brother, whose been there since he was born. there’s no one he can rely on as much as osamu, regardless of their unbelievable competitiveness and their constant arguments. however, i think there’s a little more to atsumu. going off on what i mentioned above, volleyball is his safe haven. it’s something he can fall back on and be sure and certain of the safety net available. it’s not what makes him atsumu, but it’s a big part of him, a big part of shaping his personality, which is why i think constantly improving is atsumu’s other motivation. he can’t ever let himself go, you know? towards you, well, it was probably something really stupid honestly. you might have to play hard to get with atsumu, even though either way he’s gonna like it, but the chase? he adores it.

atsumu’s love language; acts of service and physical affection. he’ll save your favorite go-to orders for every restaurant on his notes app, he’ll blow-dry your hair for you after a shower if you’re too lazy, he’ll learn hairstyles for you, he’ll hold your shirt down as you take off a sweater so it doesn’t ride up, he’ll make you try food he knows you’ll like, he stays up on facetime with you after recognizing the telltale signs of you being upset, he’ll go shopping with you, giving you a thumbs up, halfway, or down for each outfit, he’ll collect notes for you if you’re off from school, and so much more. that’s how atsumu expresses his love; that, and physical affection. always touching you somehow, someway, with his hand in yours, or on the back of your neck, or on the small of your back, or on your waist, slipping slightly beneath your shirt, or around your shoulder. and he’s always kissing you too, either on your cheek, or on your lips, or on your knuckles, or on your wrist, or your temple. and he’s always hugging you, and i mean always, you’ll have your head on his chest, or his chin tucked on your shoulder. atsumu doesn’t say i love you, he shows it.

atsumu’s preferred dates; campfires at the beach, stargazing on a rooftop, waterparks, carnival visits (tries to win you everything but can’t do shit), bowling, drive throughs

kissing atsumu; really playful but always leaves you hot and bothered. he kisses like he’s trying to prove a point, which you can’t decide on, but it always leaves you a little breathless, a little dizzy, and even more in love with him

what being with atsumu feels like; leaving a movie theatre and slightly dissociating from reality

KITA SHINSUKE

kita’s general personality; omg i love!!! him!!! kita, as shown in the anime and manga, is a very methodical person. he does things the way he always does them, routinely, and he finds comfort in that. and he doesn’t do things for the end result, he finds satisfaction in the productivity he feels, in seeing his efforts play out, in it all adding up and building up to the end product. it’s not what’s produced that matters to him, it’s more what he did and went through to be able to produce such a thing or result. which is why i think kita really is confident in his skills, and that’s obvious and seen when he’s on court. it’s because he knows all he’s done and all the effort he’s put in to be where he is now, and he knows they’re not going to fail him, he’s sure of it. his efforts are his safety net. that relates to kita being reliable, and being everyone else’s safety net. he’s very similar to daichi in that he’s the glue that sticks the team together, the final puzzle piece that completes a set. he’s also exceptionally good at being a captain, not because he leads very well, which yes, of course he does, but he knows his teammates. he knows what they need to hear, and is unafraid of telling them so, knows how to handle them properly, individually, and as a group. he’s also insanely observant in that not only is he good at reading people and situations, but also at being aware of the position he stands in. he knows he’s not what could be considered a ‘genius’ at volleyball, but not only is he aware of that, he accepts it, and accepts it with grace too. he understands that not everyone is special, but that also everyone is special in their own way, and are built based off of what efforts they put. which ties into the fact that kita is really mature, making him a reliable presence.

motivation; like i said, kita finds comfort in routine. he never truly has an end goal, just that whatever is achieved from what work he puts in he’ll believe is worth that. kita’s motivation is his everyday routines. it’s waking up, making his bed, making breakfast, cleaning around the house, or going to practice, putting in the work, staying after to clean. it’s the little moments that make up his entire day, that add it all up, that really matter, that really are his drive. for you, it would be a really simple “i want to be with them.” i don’t think kita would sugarcoat his feelings, or try to deny them with himself, even if yes, he will absolutely get flustered. his motivation towards you is literally just his desire and want to be with you.

kita’s love language; everything, but subtly. you can see that kita loves you with the way his attention is entirely on you when you speak. you can see he loves you with how he moves your hair out of your face for you. you can see he loves you in the way he says good morning to you, a soft smile on his face, a gentle kiss pressed to your forehead. you can see he loves you in the way he twirls you in his arms when you slow dance with him in the kitchen. you can see he loves you in the way his eyes light up at the simple mention of you, or the fact that everyone is aware of his love for you, in that it’s not kita, but kita and you. kita loves you wholly, and he will say it if you need to hear it, if he wants to say it, but it’s blatantly obvious, spottable from a mile away, clear and bright as day.

kita’s preferred dates; pottery making, art classes, drives around town, grocery shopping together, fancy dinners

kissing kita; everything kita does is methodical except kissing. kissing is where he lets loose, allows himself to be a little more carefree, a little more daring. he always kisses you like he’s afraid of losing you, like you’ll disappear in mere seconds

what being with kita feels like; being on vacation and waking up really early at a hotel

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

iwaizumi’s general personality; iwa iwa iwa!!!!!! i know we all like to paint iwa in this mature light, like he’s the dad of the team, but the reality of it is iwaizumi’s just as much immature at times, it’s only that he’s the most responsible and least immature out of all of them. and he is! responsible that is. he really is, and he’s reliant too, but that doesn’t mean we should reduce his personality to ‘brat tamer of oikawa’ because, come on, there’s more to him than just that. iwaizumi loves, and he loves too much, loves too hard, he cares too much, cares too hard. his way of showing it is through violence, sure, and maybe he’ll be super aggressive when he finds out you’re not taking care of yourself, but will he go to the ends of the earth to make you feel better? yes, he absolutely will, no doubt, no hesitation in it at all. it might be a little bit of a flaw too, but when iwaizumi loves, he literally hands you his entire heart in your hands with the full expectation that you’ll take care of it. he strikes me as the type of person that always expects the best of people. he’s not naive, but he does always see the best in people rather than just immediately seeing the worst. i also don’t think he’s violence-prone, either. like yes, he will beat up his friends no questions asked, but he wouldn’t start a physical fight, nor would he provoke anyone to initiate one. the only exception is to protect or to defend his friends or loved ones. i feel like that’s a red line you shouldn’t cross with iwa, because he will abandon any inhibitions when it comes to them. friends and loved ones first, then anything else. so yes, like i said earlier, iwaizumi is responsible, he’s reliable, he’s strong and sturdy (i mean,,, both physically and conceptually ig), and he’s someone that you do not want to ever lose once he enters your life. not because he’ll hurt you or anything like that, but because the loss of him in your life is significant and it’s impactful. that’s not to say iwaizumi’s not an absolute child at times, considering he literally, canonically has a godzilla phone case

motivation; honestly? i think iwaizumi does things,,, just to do them. like he gets satisfaction of course, from achieving certain things, like being one of the top aces, or from getting into a really good university, because of his good grades, from having a clear career path, from having the body that he does, from being where he is today in general, but he never had a direct motivation towards the actions that got these certain results. like sure he got into volleyball because it was a fun sport, his best friend was in it too, he got really good, he stayed, and sure he has really high grades, because he needs to, but why? he just does. he does things because he feels the need to achieve, you know? that’s his drive, essentially. the need to feel productive and satisfied with his achievements. towards you, however, it’s more serene. he wants to get to know you. that’s it. he’s genuinely just interested in you, in what you have to say, in your hobbies and interests, and your favorite movie, and your favorite song or artist, and your favorite color, what your aspirations are. iwaizumi just wants to know you.

iwaizumi’s love language; domesticity and acts of service. iwaizumi will fall in love with you if you feel like home, if you give him that deep sense of comfort settling in his chest. yes he wants the rush of it all, of being in love, the excitement of loving someone, but he also wants the calmness that accompanies it, the sureness that tags along. he likes certainty, stability, you know? and his actions will always speak louder than words. every date he greets you with flowers, meets you in front of the school gates if he hasn’t walked you and greets you with a gentle kiss on the lips and a “good morning.” will he explicitly say “i miss you”? no, but he will appear at your window at three in the morning with a backpack filled with your favorite snacks and an extra hoodie for you to borrow. he loves you, he loves you widely and large, but you have to really know iwaizumi to recognize the pattern

iwaizumi’s preferred dates; go-karting, late night drives, concerts, the beach (but at night, including swimming), picnics at sunrise

kissing iwaizumi; i can fully see him being a little shy, especially at the beginning! his kisses start off really gentle, as if he’s afraid to break you, but overtime, they develop into possessive, and a little rough, kisses. still absolutely breathtaking though

what being with iwaizumi feels like; being in an empty parking lot, with music seeping through your car’s speakers

end note; this took me like three separate days omg. i really, really hope i didn’t miss anyone haikyuu requests for this past event. it’s closed now my loves, but maybe it’ll make a comeback soon! hold onto your request till then :)

excuse any mistakes made in this if there are! and thank you for reading! i hope you all enjoyed <3

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