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seungstarss · 2 years

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CUPID’S LAW | NEVER FALL IN LOVE

PAIRING › Play boy! Heeseung x fem! reader

SYNOPSIS › After a bland highschool experience, you immediately gravitate to your university’s most outrageous matchmaking club, “The Cupid Club.” Your job was simple: to collect information on your client’s love interest and then pair them together. After two years on your “job,” everything became less horrific and getting couples together almost seemed like a natural occurrence. That is until you’re tasked to collect information on Lee Heeseung, the infamous rugby captain who is coincidently known as the biggest player on campus.

GENRE› college au, angst (I said it was major angst in the preview, but after writing it, I realized that it’s not actually that sad), consultant! reader x rugby captain! Heeseung, heartbreak, crack, fluff

WARNING(S) › swearing, heavy drinking, mentions of sex

WORDCOUNT › 18.4k (I apologize beforehand)

NOTES › This is my entry for @jungwoniics ’ “just out of reach” collab

Love was an unexplained phenomenon that entwined souls together. It was an experience of rather difficult trifles which blossomed into ultimate bliss. To be with someone you found truly admirable and to lead a life with them for as many years as they lasted was society’s idea of a dream come true. Love seemed to be something like a goal to people, while to others, it was rather a burden. To you, it was a lackluster ordeal filled with complications and hurdles — an experience you didn’t want to indulge in.

You hated when September strolled along. Every autumn leaf gracefully leaving the comfort of the branches to experience the harsh winter chills yet again this cycle. It was similar to all the young adults who traveled distances away from the warmth of their homes to lead a rather dreadful college life.

The giddy freshmen were always entertaining to watch. The yearning they all had to start fresh, lead a new life, to grow, and become a part of society.

That is what college was

A greater look into society.

You had grown weary of the customs of welcoming newcomers to the school. Their excitement clearly not phasing you in the slightest. The way they would greet you and ask you for directions. You had found them cute before, but now, you couldn’t spare another waking moment guiding a freshman through the halls, introducing them to every passing professor you came across. You had grown tired. People made you tired.

In freshman year, you joined the school’s consulting club, “the Cupids Club.” You found the name rather stupid, but the more you grew to understand the club, the more fitting it seemed to be. It wasn’t any consulting club — it consisted of bringing two people together, two people who failed to communicate their feelings to one another. The heavy burden of match-making was one of the stress-inducing activities in addition to your own school work. Yet, you found it intriguing to bring people together and watch them form a special bond with each other.

Your job was simple, to analyze the receiver of love. To learn about their dislikes and likes, hobbies, and any other useless pieces of information. Your job was to convey these pieces of information to the person consulting you for assistance. It was a simple job.

So what made it so difficult?

You grew to realize that freshmen were the worst clients. All of them fresh into college and wanting to obtain and secure their significant other without their parent’s constant blabbing. Freshmen had the highest expectation. Once a first-year finds out about the school’s Cupid club, the rest of the freshmen automatically know too. And with so much attention and desire, they were never kind with their requests. Their demands strayed too high, and most of them went for unobtainable matches.

For example, Lee Heeseung.

The lad wasn’t exactly unobtainable. He was rather easy to woo, but he wasn’t easy to keep.

You had received a total of twenty requests, asking for you to set them up with Mr. Lee Heeseung before Valentine's day. Except there was an issue.

You knew nothing about the boy.

Sure, you had heard of him before. Most of the requests regarding him were given to students in his year to manage. You were a year below Heeseung, and the only thing you could conclude about the boy was that he was a gigantic player.

“Could you please set him up with me before Valentine's day, please?” The younger girl with strawberry blonde hair squirmed in her chair, looking up at you with her doll-like eyes. “I heard you’re one of the best consultants here and I really like him. So you’ll be able to do it right?”

How many times have you heard the same phrases of flattery that slipped out of their lying mouths? Praises, bribes, and baseless words — they used anything to earn a simple yes from you. You rejected everything of course, because all you cared for was someone genuine.

And that person came.

She was a year older than you, the same age as Heeseung. The girl had short beige hair and braids that pulled her hair into a half ponytail. She wasn’t very tall, but the girl was gorgeous. The way her eyes curved into crescent moons when she smiled made you almost envious. She spoke in a soft whispering tone and requested politely, unlike the previous girls who demanded your service.

“Um, hi,” the girl nervously tucked her side bangs behind her ear, looking at the floor. Her entire face was tomato red. “Could I request a favour?”

She was cute. The way she looked away, avoiding eye contact. She was the type of girl every boy wanted as a significant other. The girl didn’t even explain her whole situation, and you already felt the need to help her — to pair her up with whoever she had been yearning for.

“Yeah, of course!” You rested your chin on your palm, waiting for her to muster up the courage to tell you about her crush. “Just tell me your situation and who this person is.”

“Oh right! Well, I’ve liked him ever since freshman year. I met him in one of my classes and he, uh… he lent me a pencil. I mean, I don’t like him because of that! He’s really charming and good-looking. But the issue is, he’s popular and I doubt he even knows who I am. I heard… I heard he’s a player too.” She mumbled, fidgeting with the latch of her tote bag.

Okay, what was with these absolute catches liking the worst kinds of people? After a few years of this whole cupid consultant shit, you’ve come to notice how unfair it was — The way the best people were always attracted to the shittiest men.

“Oh no, not a player,” you sighed, scribbling the info down on your notepad. “Oh, I forgot to ask, your name is?”

“Yeeun. Jung Yeeun.”

Did she just say Jung Yeeun? Your eyebrows furrowed in absolute shock. “Jung Yeeun? As in the literature gold Medalist Jung Yeeun?” Your jaw was probably on the floor right now, but that didn’t matter when someone with such achievements stood in front of you.

“Oh… yeah.” The girl blushed, looking down at her fingers.

Gosh, she was cute. You found it odd how her mysterious crush hadn’t noticed her throughout these years. After all, she was the Jung Yeeun, and she was absolutely stunning.

“Oh my god. Um, this is so off-topic, but I really admire your work! The way your words flow and the way you intertwine emotions into your writing. Honestly, you’re amazing.” You were truly giddy to finally meet the faceless writer you had been admiring ever since freshman year.

“Oh what? You admire my work?” The girl gasped, looking up at you with her round doe eyes once again. “I don’t know what to say. It means so much to me!”

This time, you gave her a genuine smile. She was the first person this semester to come to you with such courtesy, plus she was talented and so warmhearted? You had struck gold with her and you couldn’t wait to provide any necessary help. “Of course! I’ll also do my best to help you with your crush!”

“Really? I don’t have to appeal or tell you more about my situation?”

“Nope, I just need his name and we’ll be set!” Out of all the clients you “interviewed,” she was the only one who appealed to you, and genuinely, even though it had only been a few minutes, you wanted the best for her. “Also, we can set up a date for weekly meetings so I can forward to you any information I’ve learned about them. Of course, I’ll give you advice too, since that’s my job.”

“What? You’re so kind! I don’t know how to thank you enough.”

“No need,” you grinned, writing her name in your notebook. “I’ll make sure to take the most detailed notes on them to help you the best way I can.”

“Well…” Yeeun trailed off.

“His name is Heeseung. Lee Heeseung.”

What?

Out of everyone it could’ve been, it was him? The infamous senior, Lee Heeseung?

“Is there something wrong?” Yeeun panicked, moving her hand up and down in front of your face to bring you back to your senses. You could tell she was worried for you as your expression suddenly dropped upon hearing his name. “You look a bit pale, Yn.”

“Oh haha,” you chuckled nervously, clearing your throat in the process. “I was just shocked to hear his name. In all honesty, I think you can do better. I heard he’s a trashy person.”

“No, that’s what I heard too. But from the small conversations we had back in class, I think otherwise. He seems misunderstood.” Yeeun forced a smile, attempting to reassure you as you shook your head in disappointment.

One of those “I can change him” situations again. You sighed, writing the boy’s name in your notes along with Yeeun’s information. “Well, you’re right. I don’t know him so I can’t form an opinion on him from what I heard. But anyway, I will try my best to make things work.”

“Thank you, Yn. You’re so kind.”

You were tasked with gathering information about this popular senior boy, and it wasn’t hard. The first person you consulted was Ryujin, your best friend, who was a year older than you, a senior.

“Oh gosh, your client wants Heeseung?” She inched backward in disgust. “He’s literally the worst person to have a crush on. He can’t commit for shit, plus he’s a whole-ass player who has no sense of pity for his former flings. But I mean, it really isn’t hard to earn his favour.”

Your interest perked up after hearing Ryujin’s last sentence. She had rambled for an entire hour about the boy already and said nothing particularly intriguing until now. “And how would someone quote — unquote earn his favour?”

“Frankly, it’s quite simple,” Ryujin smirked, holding up two fingers. “One, show up to one of his or his drunkard friend’s frat party. Two, wear some skimpy dress and seduce the man. He’s quite simple. It makes me gag.”

Shaking off the utter disgust on your face, you rolled your eyes at your friend’s words. What had you expected? Some player with a heart of gold who just hadn’t found their soulmate? You probably spent too much time burying your nose in romance novels to see what reality was like. Even with a position as a love consultant, most of your pairings had worked out and your efforts had never gone to waste. But this time, Yeeun’s request seemed almost fruitless. “Gosh, why did I just know?”

“I mean, he is a player, after all. He’s easy to woo but hard to keep. Your poor client is definitely in a rough spot. But I don’t really know too much about him, so I can’t really speak on his actions.”

“You literally spent the whole past hour roasting the dude.” You scoffed at your friend in amusement.

“Well, I mean, after everything I’ve heard about him, I can’t help it.” The older girl smirked, pushing through the doors of the library. “I mean, I heard there’s a game after school. Maybe we can go together and you can analyze him then.”

“A game? He’s an athlete?”

“Yn, you really are clueless about this man, huh?”

“Maybe.”

—

Tying your hair in a simple ponytail, you grabbed the pale white tote bag that consisted of your notebook, where you kept all your client notes. You leaned against the doorframe of the washroom, tapping your fingers on the marble sink as you waited for Ryujin to finish straightening her hair. “Girl, are you trying to impress someone today? Like you look too good for a simple game.”

Ryujin shot you a sly smirk before returning to straighten the locks that fell to the left side of her face. “Your flattery is giving me too much confidence sis, but maybe.”

You sighed at the girl’s words. “So the truth is, you dragged me to this game just to accompany you, so you could flirt with some jock? I mean, I’m willing to be your emotional support, but girl, I’d rather off myself instead of watching you attempt to flirt.”

“Hey! I'm good at flirting! Plus, you needed to come anyway, right? You need to analyze Mr. Lee Heeseung.” The girl sang, unplugging the straightener. You had to remind yourself that Ryujin was rather popular and had a consistent social life, unlike you, who spent hours crying into your textbooks and a hundred pages of notes.

“Whatever. Shouldn’t we get going?” You cocked your head to the side as you watched your friend put on her dangly silver earrings. “I mean, it starts in twenty minutes, doesn’t it?”

“It’s literally around the corner. It takes five minutes to walk there. No need to rush.” The girl winked at you. “But you’re right, we should head there a few minutes early.” She quickly snatched the beige purse that hung on walls near the entrance, dragging you with her at the same time.

You slipped on your shoes as fast as you could to match Ryujin’s pace. She was definitely excited about seeing this game, and you just couldn’t feel the same way. Something about Yeeun’s request rubbed you the wrong way. Of course, it wasn’t the girl, but it was Heeseung himself. The thought of you getting them together only to have him cheat his way out of the relationship digested you to the max. The last thing you wanted was for Yeeun to get hurt. She was a sweet girl who deserved more than a half-hearted man who had a new fling every day of the week.

“You must be in deep concentration right now.” Ryujin smacked you on the back, bringing you back to reality. “Like hello? Girl, did you even notice that we’re almost there already?” Your eyes scanned your surroundings. The green grass below your feet and the bleachers that stood a few meters away from you definitely signified that you both were close to the playing field.

You hadn’t even noticed riding the elevator down, or heck, even locking the door because of your wandering thoughts. “Oh shit Ryu, did you lock the door?”

The girl scoffed and gave you a lazy grin. “Who do you think I am? Obviously, I had to take it upon myself since you were so wound up in your dreamland.”

“Dreamland my ass,” You rolled your eyes before clutching your friend’s arm, proceeding up the steps of the bleachers. “Where shall we sit?”

Ryujin dragged you back down and slowly approached the very front row, close to where the rugby team was getting ready. “Here obviously! You’re kinda blind, plus I have my reasons.”

“Girl, what the fuck?” You mumbled as you sat down next to Ryujin on the mini tarp she had put on the metal bleachers before sitting down. Right in front of you was the rugby team, some doing push-ups to warm up and some leaning against the bleachers talking to the cheerleaders.

“Shitt you actually came? Honestly, I didn't expect to see you here.” A boy with silver hair approached you and Ryujin while leaning against the tiny fence that separated the bleachers from the playing field. “And you brought a friend with you too? How interesting.”

“Cut the bullshit, Park,” Ryujin snapped. “I didn’t come here to listen to your nasally ass remarks. Kindly turn the fuck around and focus on your game.” She fakely smiled, gesturing for the boy to face around.

“Aw, you know you don’t have to act so hard to get.” The boy called “Park” chuckled. “But you, what’s your name?” He turned his attention to you, eyebrows raised in anticipation.

“It’s Yn, and I think my friend wants you to leave.”

The boy smirked in amusement, twirling his helmet with both his hands. “Oh, she’s feisty. You two make quite the combination.” This “Park” boy had only been standing in front of the two of you for a few seconds and you already wanted to slap the playful grin off his face. From the way he carried himself, you knew he was one of those boys too.

“Yeah, did you not hear her? Piss off, Park.” Ryujin shooed the boy, who only winked at her before making his way toward his teammates.

“Who the fuck-“

“Yes, I know you’re gonna ask questions Yn, I’ll explain.” Ryujin placed her hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile. The girl had told you everything about her life, but somehow this menace named “Park” was never mentioned in any of her stories. “That was Park Sunghoon, one of Heeseung's best buddies. He’s been trying to, I guess, ‘pursue me’ ever since freshman year? But of course, I rejected him every time. Yes, as you know, I have dated many people, but you will never catch me dead with one of those jocks, especially not Park Sunghoon.”

Park Sunghoon? Now his name sounded familiar.

You had heard his name slip through the mouths of many students roaming the hallways, but never matched his face to his name. He was well known throughout campus and was labeled the “deathly heartthrob.” Mainly because he never actually got into relationships. He was only an advocate for one-night stands, and friends with benefits, nothing else. The boy drew the line and only ever had physical interactions, never emotional.

“Oh, he’s Park Sunghoon,” you nodded your head, mentally connecting all the dots in your head. “Wait, but aren’t you trying to pursue some jock?”

“That’s a different story.” Ryujin inched closer to you, placing her hand over your ear before whispering. “You see, the boy over there?” She pointed ever so slightly at a boy in an oversized leather jacket who was holding a yellow water bottle.

“The yellow water bottle boy?” You questioned, squinting your eyes for a better view.

“Yeah, he’s the new manager on the team and he’s hella fine. Don’t you think so?”

You turned around to face Ryujin before throwing her a sarcastic grin. “Well, as you said, I'm blind, so I can’t see shit.”

The girl hit you gently, cackling at your response.

Before you could revert your focus to whatever was going on on the field, your eyes landed on a particular boy with raven black hair who was staring right back at you. His eyes seemed to pierce through your gaze, freezing you on the spot. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t even breathe in the presence of his stare. He was just a simple rugby jock who had both hands lazily tucked into his side pockets. So what made his gaze so enticing? Was it the way he looked at you? Or was it the way he licked his lips while shooting you a sly smirk?

“Who the fuck is that?” You shook Ryujin right after the boy shifted his vision elsewhere.

“Which one? You’re literally staring into a crowd of men.” She remarked, waiting for you to point to whoever this dude was.

“The one over there. The tall one with the parted black hair.” You motioned your head towards the boy’s direction, afraid to point or make any more unnecessary eye contact.

“Oh, that one?” Ryujin grinned. “That’s Mr. Play boy. Your target of today.”

That was Lee Heeseung?

The boy with the almost dangerous stare? Your heart fell into your stomach. You could already tell by the way his lips curved up into a sly smirk that Lee Heeseung was trouble.

Quickly pulling out your notebook, you began to scribble down your observations of the boy, who stood amused at your actions. He had diverted his gaze back to you a minute ago, only to see you frantically ask your friend a question and then proceed to pull out a notepad.

The buzzer blared throughout the court, signaling the beginning of the game, and the boys rushed to their positions, waiting for the game to commence. You always thought rugby was an odd sport — the aggressive shoving, and the constant growling. You a hundred percent preferred football. A few minutes of passing the ball had gone by before you grew bored, aggravated by the icy wind that kept blowing your hair in your face, blocking your view. You had to focus on Heeseung, but all you could get out of this game was that he was stubborn. The way he played, constantly trying to score points for his team, and the way he shoved members of the opposing team with his brute force without looking back — Heeseung always got what he wanted. You could tell from the simple expression he had on his face, eyes hungry and full of desire.

A stubborn man who always got his way. The worst kind to deal with.

The final buzzer went off, signaling the conclusion of the game. Your school won and you were anything but surprised. The only extra information you got out of coming to tonight’s game was that Heeseung seemed to be the captain of the team, and Ryujin sucked ass at flirting. Before you could jot your concluding thoughts down, you heard your friend clearing her throat as she slightly nudged you. She was standing up, arms entwined with the yellow water bottle boy, and she looked down at you, eyes practically begging. “Yn, is it okay if you head back to the dorms yourself? Here, I can give you the keys.” She rummaged through her purse, pulling out her metal keys with the bear keychain you had gifted her for her birthday. “I’m just gonna be out for a little longer. Is that okay?” She was giving you puppy eyes now.

You sighed, chuckling at your friend’s words. You weren’t going to stop her from getting with someone she fancied just because you were scared to walk back yourself. What kind of friend would you even call yourself if you ruined her chances just because the dark gave you chills? “No problem, give me a call if you need anything!” You smiled, gesturing for her to go ahead before shifting your attention back to your notes.

“Captain of the team, strong-willed I guess, stubborn.” You mumbled to yourself, listing down every piece of information you detected through tonight’s game.

“Having fun writing my name into your death note?” A low voice spoke, startling you. Instinctively, you brought your notebook to your chest, guarding the information you had gathered. You were never to share your notes with anyone but your clients. Even Ryujin hadn’t had the chance to skim through your notebook.

Your eyes landed on a particular raven-haired boy, who leaned teasingly against the fence. His hair wasn’t perfectly parted anymore, it was rather messy and dripping with sweat. Good thing the boy had a towel around his neck. Or else you’d probably scoot away from him.

Or would you?

He was a good meter away from you, and your eyes instinctively fell to his facial features, his tall nose bridge, his tanned complexion which seemed to glisten under the stadium light, and his lips.

His lips? What the fuck were you thinking?

You slightly gasped, realizing the situation you were in. Heeseung stood in front of you, staring at your every flicker of emotion and movement. Once again, your mind ran blank, unable to move or think.

“I’m joking,” the boy chuckled. “What are you writing so attentively that you only looked up at the game a few times?”

He had noticed every time that you spent jotting down notes instead of watching the game? What the hell? Did this man have eyes on the back of his head?

“It’s none of your concern.” You spoke forcefully, shoving your notebook into your bag.

“Did you find the game boring?” The boy snickered, his intense gaze not leaving yours.

“Maybe I did.” You got up, getting ready to leave.

Heeseung wasn’t going to let you leave at that moment. “Then what interests you?” The boy asked, looking up at you while leaning closer. Did this boy not understand the concept of personal space, or did he just lack awareness? Though you were standing up, you still felt the way his cocky grin held you down, forcing you to stay.

“Probably not you.” You snapped back at the boy. He emanated so much confidence and somehow, he had a hold on you, and you wanted nothing more than to run away.

“But didn’t you just get ditched by your friend?” He raised his eyebrows, unknowingly provoking you even more. “I mean, I must be quite interesting since you’re still here answering my questions.”

Number one of why you hated men of his kind. In their minds, the world revolves around them and every little thing that is of convenience to them; they use to further latch onto in order to get whatever they want. Heeseung knew how to talk, and you already knew you hated his guts.

“Right.” You gave him a fake smile before turning your back on the boy. “Well, maybe you were interesting, but your words are boring me, so do me a favour and shut your mouth.” You remarked, giving him one last wave before leaving the premise of his lurking gaze. It took you lots of confidence to tell people to shut up, but with him, it came naturally.

ENTRY LOG #1

First day of analyzing Lee Heeseung and he’s an absolute menace. He’s the stereotypical frat boy who has way too much time on his hands. An absolute rake. Though besides that, he is the captain of the school’s rugby team and is very dedicated to winning. From the way he carries himself, he seems to be very confident, but he’s also very skilled with his words. He knows how to charm people, and that may be a dangerous sign. However, this is just an outlook on the boy as he did not show any of his true personality — unless this is what his true personality is, a shitty playboy jock.

The next time you saw Heeseung was on campus near the library. He was walking through the greenery area with his arms latched around two girls who wore short pleated skirts and heels too high for a simple lecture day. You totally understood dressing up, as you tried to dress your best during your first year of university. But ten-inch heels were a different story. They had their arms around him, either coddling his waist or his chest. You tried your best not to barf up this morning's breakfast, as the sight was triggering an awful churning in your stomach. Before you could turn your attention elsewhere, his eyes met yours and the same smirk found its way to his lips. You rolled your eyes at him before going off on your way. That was until the menace strolled up in front of you with his hands in his pocket.

“Enjoying the view so much, you had to stop and stare at me for a full minute?” He chuckled, walking backward since you hadn’t stopped walking forward. The cocky grin never left his face and your urge to push him off a cliff didn’t either.

“I thought I recognized one of the girls that you were with.” You blatantly lied, thinking of the first excuse that came to mind. “Speaking of the girls, where did they go?”

Heeseung’s grin only grew bigger at your lame excuse. His arms came to stop you from proceeding forward. “Don’t you know it’s rude to ‌walk away from someone when they’re trying to strike up an ethical conversation? They left after I told them I had something more interesting to do.” He smirked. “Plus, you suck at lying, don’t you? Your eyes dart whenever you lie. Did you know?”

He was damn good at analyzing people, and you knew he’d probably use that to impress the girls on campus who seemed to faint from his presence. “Morally ethical, huh? Sorry to burst your bubble, but nothing about you is morally ethical.”

“Oh, is that so?” Heeseung inched closer to you, and after quite a few steps back, you found your heels hitting the walls. There was no more space for you to back up against, and the sly smirk never left his face as he proceeded to step forward. He now only stood a few inches away from you — way too close for a mere stranger. “And how would you know?”

“I don’t,” you spat before harshly nudging the boy backward. “Just leave me alone, will you?” You mumbled, watching the boy stumble backward, amused by your actions.

“And would you like to?” Heeseung still managed to speak after you clearly rejected his advances. “You know I’m really good with my-“

“Shut your trap Heeseung.” You hissed, once again attempting to escape the awkward situation.

“You said my name for the first time!” He spoke enthusiastically. “The way it rolls off your tongue sounds really nice. You should say it more often!” He smirked, leaning back against the wall, not attempting to chase you.

You didn’t even bother glancing back at the boy, knowing if you did, you would be met with his painfully attractive smirk. Instead, you flipped the boy your middle finger.

Your seat in the consulting office behind the desk felt rather odd. You hadn’t found out anything revolutionizing or world-changing about the boy, but you still sat in your seat — waiting for Yeeun to prance in and listen to all the information you collected. You honestly had nothing to say that was worthy of her time, and you even thought about canceling your appointment. That was only until you saw the girl push her way through the library doors, on her way to visit you in the small room you had in the quiet space.

“Yn!” she exclaimed as soon as she set foot in the room. “I was so excited for today I barely could eat! My stomach is churning! It’s so thrilling!”

You offered the girl a forced chuckle before flipping open your notebook. “Well, you see…” You trailed off, not knowing where to start. “To be honest, since it’s only been a few days and I haven’t really gotten the chance to see him much? But from the information I gathered, he seems to be a very head-strong person who’s very dedicated to his own craft.”

“Oh, no worries!” The smaller girl giggled. “Even hearing about his achievements makes me happy. You know he’s the captain of the rugby team, right? Isn’t that so cool? I wish I could’ve attended his game a few days back, but I had prior arrangements.”

You were almost glad she hadn’t come. What would be the outcome of her seeing Heeseung’s eyes glued onto you throughout the entire game like you had a target on your back? Or maybe, if she did come, his eyes would be on her instead.

“Yes, he’s a very high achieving person. But besides that, he seems like he’s an easy person to strike up a conversation with. So that’s a win for you, right?” You smiled at her enthusiasm. She really liked him, didn’t she? Even talking about him made the corner of her lips perk up into a shy smile.

“Yes, yes, it is. He won’t get bored with me if I can’t think of anything to say, right?”

You rolled your eyes before chuckling at your innocent upperclassman. “Of course Yeeun! He’ll be the one that won’t be able to shut up.”

Yeeun giggled at your comment and checked her phone quickly. “I actually have a short meeting today, so I may have to cut our appointment a little short. Is that okay?”

You gave the girl an affirming smile. “Of course, I didn’t really have too much information today anyway. But next week at the same time?”

She nodded, pushing her chair in before waving at you and exiting the room.

You let out a sigh of relief, organizing your notes before you, too, decided to exit this stuffy room. The library was a big, bright place full of windows and you didn’t want to be cooped up in a room with no natural light whatsoever.

As soon as you locked the door of the consulting office, you felt a strong gaze on the back of your head.

Maybe you should’ve stayed in the room.

“I should consider myself lucky, right? I was dreading coming here, but it seems like it’ll be quite entertaining instead.” His voice was loud enough for the reception desk to send the two of you glares.

“Why the hell do I always bump into you? Are you sure you’re not following me or something?” You wanted to curse him out for his timing. If he had come just a few minutes earlier, you could’ve perfectly set him up with Yeeun.

Heeseung scoffed at your assumption. Him following you? Why would he ever do that? “You can daydream all you want, sweetheart, but sorry to break it to you. I wasn’t.”

You, happy with his answer, gave the boy a sarcastic smile. “Oh, is that so? Well then, if you don’t mind, I’ll take my leave now.”

Maybe Heeseung did want to follow you right now as his hand quickly grabbed your wrist, turning you back around. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t think I’ve made it clear enough. I’m going A W A Y. F R O M. Y O U.” You annotated every word with a certain passive-aggressiveness.

“I’ll tag along then.” He grinned. “You’re walking towards the back tables of the library. Near the windows, am I right?”

Shaking your wrist out of his grip, you turned around once again. “I don’t think I ever invited you.”

The boy stood staring at you as you made your way to the far back corner of the library, settling your books on the desk. You were decently surprised when he didn’t follow you.

Or so you thought.

“Who needs an invitation?” Heeseung dragged the chair across from you over to your side as he plopped down and leaned on the tabletop, way too close to your face. “It’s a public space, am I right?”

How many times had he done this already? Invading your personal space without giving a single fuck about how you felt.

But how did you feel?

You felt his hot breath hitting the nape of your neck, and you watched how his long eyelashes fluttered as he opened and closed his eyes. He was good-looking; you had to admit that. But you had no interest whatsoever.

Right?

“Move, you literally could sit anywhere else.” You shoved the boy slightly.

Unfazed by your attitude, he only chuckled, making your rage grow. “You know, if it were any other girl, they’d be begging for me to stay, right?”

“Oh, is that so? Well, then what should I do, huh? Apologize?” You spat, annoyed with his entitled attitude.

“Nah, you should do something else.” He leaned back in his chair while crossing his arms.

“And what is that?”

“Let me see what you were writing in your diary the other day.” He smirked, raising his eyebrow in amusement as he awaited your answer.

“First of all, it’s not a diary. Second, I wasn’t writing about you, and third, I have a right to privacy for my belongings.”

“Then if you’re not gonna show me your notebook or whatever, let me stay here.” He shot you a winning grin, placing his phone on the table to secure his spot.

“You did that just so you could stay, huh?” He always had a way with his words and your desire to punch him only grew.

“Oh, looks like I’ve been caught red-handed, huh?” He chuckled, leaning back on the table and staring at your constantly changing expressions. It would be an understatement to say that Heeseung enjoyed the way you talked to him. He had never felt such a thrill in his life other than the first time he rebelled against his parents in high school. You were bringing that spark back into his life and he didn’t want it to extinguish.

You shifted uncomfortably, directing your gaze back to the stack of textbooks you had brought with you for studying purposes. “What are you gonna get out of staying here and wasting your life away?” You mumbled, quite bothered by his presence.

He smiled, placing his finger on his chin whilst pretending to ponder. Maybe it was the sunlight hitting his face, but your gaze only remained on his eyes that shone a golden brown in the light. They glittered when he blinked, and somehow you felt time freeze once more. How many times had this boy made you feel like the revolving word had stopped? You were in a stupid library, contemplating if you should study, yet here you are, staring into some boy’s eyes while he pretended to think of some excuse.

Thank god he was looking away, or else you’d definitely be receiving a mouthful from him.

“I’m gonna watch you study. Maybe I’ll pick up some studying habits?” He blurted out after a good three minutes.

You scoffed, looking away after he had met your gaze again. “That doesn’t sound too fitting to your character.”

“I’m pretty sure you have to get to know someone before you fully judge their character. Am I right, miss cupid?”

Miss cupid?

Had he known you were part of the cupids club, spending your spare time matchmaking?

Or worse. Did he know your client was gunning for him?

“I heard you were in some matchmaking club. But I highly doubt that seeing the way you interact.” Heeseung remarked, playing with your pad of colourful sticky notes.

“So you’re a stalker?!” you gasped.

“No, I-I’m not!”

—

Maybe it wasn’t that bad — having Heeseung accompany you. He spent hours taking turns from staring at you, then to your textbook. Sometimes the boy would lean in to stare at your notes and you could feel your cheeks heating up at the proximity. You had slapped yourself a couple of times, snapping yourself out of this unfamiliar daze. It felt almost improper to spend time with your client’s love interest. But you were glad now. The sun had set and Heeseung was slumped over the table, sleeping comfortably on the stack of your textbooks. You giggled at the sight. Somehow, he looked almost innocent and unlike his regular smug self. His body moved up and down slightly. You didn’t want to bother the boy who was sleeping so soundly — but he was lying on top of your textbooks. It wouldn’t hurt if you just tapped him awake, right? Just as your hand approached to grab your books, the boy groaned slightly, wrapping his arms tightly around the stack of your textbooks. You almost let out a loud laugh as you saw the boy bringing the textbooks closer to him to get more comfortable. Who knew the infamous rugby captain needed to cuddle something to fall asleep?

You decided not to wake the boy as he would probably get cranky or start throwing a fit. You had enough of the boy’s attitude for a day — frankly for the rest of your life. Taking off the jacket you had, you placed it gently on his broad shoulders before you stuck the small post-it-note you had written a few minutes ago in front of him, on the table.

You fell asleep :/// See; I told you ‌that you should’ve done something better with your time! You could’ve gone to a party or even practiced your sport, but instead, you spent your time here! Also, I hope you don’t drool on my textbooks; they were hella expensive. I didn’t take them because I didn’t wanna wake you up. Return those to me tomorrow and bring my jacket too! (Yes, I left my jacket for you. Not because I care for you, but because it actually gets really chilly since they turn on the AC :( whatever, just make sure you return everything.)

And what you didn’t know was that Heeseung didn’t care about “wasting time,” because all he really desired was to rest — escape from all the burdens and titles he carried.

ENTRY LOG #2

Heeseung seems to be bearable when he’s not trying to sweet talk. His conversations, besides that, are actually genuine. He also seems to have ears everywhere. Whenever he wants to know something, he’ll be able to get stacks of information on that person. Besides that, he’s pretty entertaining? I think he just needs someone that genuinely likes him for him, instead of for his outlook. He may seem all “I’m the best” and flirty, but something tells me his smiles aren’t genuine. He needs someone to appreciate him for who he is… and Yeeun is perfect.

You had spent hours the next few days working on your midterm seminar with your group mates, who didn’t seem to comprehend the importance of this group assignment. Meets ups happened frequently and your group mates listened well to your instructions. However, when they were off on their own to complete their personal assigned sections, most of them would slack off until the last minute. As the final slide organizer, you spent most of your time waiting for your group mates to hand in their completed parts to insert into the slides.

But it was already 11:30pm, and you were so close to crashing on the library desk you had been sitting at for the past four hours. Tapping your fingers impatiently, you opened and closed your text messages with your group members, hoping someone would send something in. You all had agreed on sending in your parts before 10pm, ensuring you had enough time to organize everything and get a good night of sleep before the seminar tomorrow morning. However, there wasn’t a single peep from your group mates and it was already halfway to twelve. Feeling the weight of all the stress, your eyelids began to grow heavy. A short nap wouldn’t harm you, and there was nothing better to do anyway. Setting your alarm for 12:30 am, you rested your head onto your forearm as you dozed off into dreamland.

—

Heeseung found it hard to stay at home. The boy was bombarded with nonstop noise coming from every corner of the house. On a normal day, he wouldn’t be bothered by the constant arguing between Jake and his girlfriend or the loud ass giggles coming from Sunghoon’s room. But today, all he felt was his shooting headache, and the noise surrounding him only added to his agony. He needed to get out.

The first thing that came to mind was the therapeutic library environment he had experienced while watching you cram for your seminar. Yearning for the same feeling, he found himself stuffing his keys in his jacket pocket as he decided to take a little night walk to the University’s library. The walls of windows would probably look even more stunning with the moonlight shining through.

Yes, he wanted to experience the same feeling he had the last time, but he didn’t expect to see you slumped over on the same table, sleeping soundly. Smiling to himself, the boy sat down in the seat across from you, watching as your body rose up and down slightly. In his eyes, you were constantly busy with no down time whatsoever. He had always wondered if you could get sufficient sleep every day. You rarely had nights where you would get enough rest, and Heeseung could tell. You wouldn’t be dozing off in the school’s library if you weren’t swamped with loads of work.

Maybe it was the way you gripped onto the edge of your laptop, hugging it like a pillow, but Heeseung couldn’t help but feel a need to protect you, to shield you away from all the bad in the world. The boy spent the next ten minutes staring out the window, accompanying you as you slept. Just from sitting in silence, he could feel his headache slowly creeping away.

The slight buzz of his phone startled him, shaking him from his short-lived relaxation. It was a text from Jake.

Jake: Hey sorry bro. I heard you leaving, and I figured it was because of the noise. She’s gone now, so you’re free to come back.

Just as he was about to ignore the text and return to his little moment of bliss, his phone buzzed once more.

Jake: Actually, you should come back now. There’s a fucking cockroach in the washroom and Sunghoon is busy having fun in his room. I ain’t tryna see him naked, so comeback and kill this roach.

Heeseung figured Jay had already gone to sleep and Jake was probably crouching in the bathroom, staring the roach down, watching its every move. Sunghoon was practically useless when it came to bugs. Even if he wasn’t preoccupied, he wouldn’t lift a finger to kill the bug. Sighing, Heeseung quietly stood up from his chair, trying his best not to wake you. This time he’d return the favour. Taking off his jacket, he carefully placed it over your shoulders.

As he was about to leave, his eyes landed on the same pad of sticky notes he had fidgeted with the last time he watched you study. Grabbing the pen from your unzipped pencil case, he scribbled a quick note before placing it on the top of your laptop. Heeseung wished he could stay for longer, but he knew Jake would grill him nonstop if he didn’t return to kill a small fucking bug.

—

Your alarm rang, the buzzing shaking you awake. Maybe taking a brief nap was a good idea because you woke up to blaring notifications from your group chat, sending you the completed work, and a small pink sticky note.

A small pink sticky note?

This wasn’t here when you fell asleep.

And neither was the black jean jacket that was carefully wrapped around your shoulders.

You're practically drooling on your laptop. What if it burns? Aren’t you proud that I didn’t wake you up? I know you would probably start scolding me for being out here at such ungodly hours, but you too??? What are you doing, sleeping in such an unsafe spot? Sorry I couldn’t stay, but I left my jacket with you since you said it gets chilly. Hopefully, this makes up for the last time. I returned the favour, but you don’t have to return the jacket. Keep it. Anyway, go to the lounge on the second floor when you wake up. There are pillows there and it’ll be much more comfortable to sleep there. Don’t go home. It’s late, and it’s unsafe to travel alone. You can head back when the sun rises, but not when it's pitch black outside, okay?

Oh also, I usually carry chocolate in my pocket (don’t ask why). There should be a Hersey’s bar in the pocket of my Jean jacket. Eat it, okay?

Heeseung had been here? Why was he out so late? Why did he come to the library?

You had many questions, but the main issue you had to deal with wasn’t the lack of answers, but the smile forming on your face as you read his note. Your heart was beating a little faster than usual, but you still sat there, oblivious to your own feelings.

After the library incident, you bumped into Heeseung quite frequently. Every day, he’d find a way to make an appearance in your life, even if it was just sending you a playful wink as you passed each other on campus. When not surrounded by girls or his weird druggy friends, he would often strike up a conversation with you, even if you tried to push him away. He enjoyed teasing you, and somehow, it didn’t feel quite as odd as it did before.

“Your outfit is quite nice.” He commented, leaning against the column. He scanned you up and down before shooting you one of his signature smirks.

“Don’t look at me like that. I internally puke every time.” You faked a gag, waving the boy off.

“Did you think I was checking you out? Because you don’t have to worry, there’s nothing to check out.” He cackled, pushing himself off the column and towards you. “Where are you headed today? The library again?”

You hummed in response. “I have an appointment.”

Heeseung’s interest immediately piqued. “Oh right! I forgot I was talking to Miss Cupid here. Who’s your client? I’m curious.”

It was against the rules to tell him about your client, especially when he was the target. “I’m not gonna tell you. It’s confidential information.”

Usually, Heeseung would just laugh it off and leave you off to your own business, but today, he found it extremely hard not to meddle. The boy pushed you against the lockers, staring at you with his eyebrows furrowed. He somehow felt annoyed by the fact that you were going to ditch him for your client right after he got the chance to talk to you.

“H-Heeseung? What are you doing?” You gasped at the sudden impact of your back hitting the lockers. His expression had suddenly dropped, and you were left confused as to why he was so angry and why he had shoved you against some locker.

The boy only moved closer, placing his hand on the wall of lockers beside you. His breath was practically fanning your lips at this point. You squeezed your eyes shut. It was an instinct. There was something about the way he was staring at you that made you feel almost small and weak.

Heeseung was confused. Was it jealousy? Was he jealous of your stupid client that got to spend time with you? It seemed like every time he had a chance to speak to you, you would attempt to blow him off as soon as possible. Mostly, when he wanted to see you, his friends would drag him away to some party, and he’d end up getting drunk, forgetting his desire to see you as he fell deeper into intoxication. But finally he had some time to spare, without his friends up his ass and here you were, waving him off for some stupid client.

He wasn’t jealous; he was just angry that you completely disregarded his feelings — at least that’s what he told himself.

Seeing you squeeze your eyes tightly shut, he finally came to his senses, backing away before sighing. “My bad. Um, yeah, as I was saying, your outfit looks nice today. I like your barret.” He remarked dryly as he watched your eyes slowly flicker open. “I’ll get going now. Sorry about that.”

With that, heeseung left you alone, leaning against the lockers. Your heart felt as if it were a contestant for some Olympic race. Why did something so simple have your cheeks flaming? What was this feeling that caused your breath to waver and become unsteady?

Heeseung was your client’s target. You had to get that into your head. You had no right feeling this way.

Scurrying to the consulting office, you saw Yeeun fiddling with her fingers while sitting in the seat across from your designated one. She had arrived early — or instead, your little encounter had you running late. “Sorry about the wait, Yeeun!” You apologized profusely while entering the room.

“No worries, Yn!” I was really excited to see you again. “I actually wanted to ask you for a favour today.”

Placing your bag onto the wooden desk, you pulled out your chair, settling in. “A favour? Yeah, of course, what’s up?”

“Well,” Yeeun nervously grinned. “I’m attending a guest lecture today and I heard from a friend that Heeseung is coming! I just wanted to make a good impression. Do you know what I should wear?”

Your mind immediately flashed to Heeseung’s words a few minutes ago. “I like your barret.”

“Oh actually um,” you gave the girl a small reassuring smile. “I saw him in the halls today and I heard him saying he liked barrets. Maybe you could wear one?”

“I actually don’t have one. I can’t buy one either, since the lecture is in about an hour.” Yeeun sighed, wishing she owned more hats.

“You can take mine?” You suggested, taking your hat off before combing your hair through with your fingers. “You’ll look good in it and your hair is also slightly curly today! It looks good with slight curls!”

Yeeun gasped, politely accepting your offer. “Oh my, is that why your hair is always curled when you wear hats? It always looks so good!”

You giggled, motioning for her to try it on. “Yep! I spent a short while curling my hair today just for it.”

“How does it look?” Yeeun questioned, turning her head slightly from left to right after putting the hat on.

“It looks flawless! I mean, you always do, but the hat really accentuates your tall nose bridge!” You exclaimed, holding up your front phone camera for her to examine herself.

“What Yn, you’re right! It looks really good!” she squealed. “Plus, my outfit is similar to yours today, so it matches!”

“Yeah! So wear it!” You shot Yeeun another smile before going into your bag to pull out your notebook. “So since we already got you looking the part, I’ll just tell you about the new information I found out this week.”

“Sounds good!” Yeeun scooted closer to the desk, thrilled to hear about your new findings.

…

“Yes, so never reject a party invitation from him, okay?”

“Yes! I got it.” Yeeun gave you a small thumbs up. “But what if he doesn’t invite me to one of his parties?”

“Then casually ask him if he's holding one this week.” You grinned. “I mean, he hosts one, or at least his friend group hosts one every week at their frat house.”

“Right,” Yeeun pondered for a second before speaking again. “Is it that important to attend one of his parties?”

You didn’t know how to respond. Something in you wanted to end this whole cupid exchange quick, and you knew the best way for her to get his attention was at his stupid parties. You planned to doll Yeeun up when she officially got invited by him. These parties didn’t require invitations, but it was important to have Heeseung personally invite Yeeun. He would know she would be coming and would expect her to greet him when she arrived — that already was a benefit. “Yes, Yeeun! He needs to know you’re coming, remember?”

“Oh, right!” She exclaimed, beaming with excitement. “Then I’ll try my best to talk to him today. I’ll get going now! Thank you once again Yn, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Your last words left a bitter taste in your mouth. Why was your stomach churning so uncomfortably? It's almost like you hated the idea — the idea of them flirting or making out at one of his parties.

Heeseung regretted every minute of his morning, replaying his encounter with you repeatedly like a broken cassette player, until he felt almost dizzy. He didn’t mean to come off so harshly, yet whenever he saw you, he just wanted you to remain in his view until he himself was forced to leave. He remembered the expression in your eyes and how they grew almost fearful. Somehow it made him feel as if he was in the wrong, as if he were the one to blame for your shaking legs. Initially, he was intrigued by your lack of interest and aloof attitude towards him, but now it only bothered him, crushing his dignity firmly with no sense of remorse. It was almost as if you despised his presence and would go to extreme lengths to stay clear of the boy.

But that didn’t explain the goosebumps that ran up your neck when his breath fanned your lips.

Much to his disfavor, the boy's phone buzzed continually in his back pocket. His father had been pressuring him to attend a special guest lecture to make up for his lack of efforts in his other classes. He had been dreading it for the entire week, and he knew skipping would only earn him a mouthful. Some lecture about some “intriguing discussions about the human mind, darker drives and psychological analysis.” He had no interest whatsoever, and the only thing driving him was the party at the end of the dreadful week. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he made his way down the looping brick hall, leading him to the lecture hall with the purple plush seats. He didn’t care too much since he would probably sit near the back and doze off behind some committed student who actually attended to learn. Waving lazily to the girls who stared at him with googly eyes, he felt almost sick of doing the same thing. No longer did he find it fun to watch a random girl squirm at the fact that they were acknowledged by the school’s infamous rugby captain. Instead, he found it tiring. He had grown weary to the customs of winking at every passing person. Their excitement clearly did not phase him in the slightest anymore.

The lecture hall was rather silent, opposite of what he thought it’d be like. The only thing he was expecting was over excited students who were too passionate about the subject and enjoyed blabbing constantly about it. He expected everyone to fit the prototype he had created in his head during his tread over. Instead of conforming to his thoughts, most people were in their own seats, scrolling through their phones. Sighing, Heeseung slowly made his way up the stairs. His arrival earned a few slight gasps from a few of the younger students, but he ignored them, focusing on gaining a perfect spot for his little nap.

That was only until he saw you with your head down, buried in your arms. You were wearing the same berret. He chuckled, carefully approaching you, making sure he didn’t make a sound. Maybe this lecture wouldn’t be too bad and maybe he could apologize for what had occurred this morning.

“Hey miss cupid, didn’t know I’d find you here.” Heeseung spoke softly, giving you a soft tap on your head. “Didn’t know you were interested in dark psychology. But at the same time, I feel like it’s very fitting.” Settling his bag on the small pull out table attached to his seat, he wrapped his arm around your chair as he watched you groan slightly, lifting your head.

“Excuse me? Who’s miss cupid?” Yeeun lifted her head, only to face the last person she expected to sit next to her. “Wait, oh my… um hi! Hi Heeseung.”

Heeseung’s face dropped immediately. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Removing his arm, he quickly shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat in the process. How could he have mixed you up with someone who didn’t look remotely like you? It was the hat, the fucking hat. He cursed under his breath repeatedly, resting his head on his palm, attempting to distract himself from the embarrassment. He had really just sat in the most evident spot, where the professor could spot him in a single second. Maybe if his mind wasn’t flooded with thoughts of you, he’d make a rational decision and analyze the person in front of him first. Why the fuck was he so desperate?

“Oh, did you mix me up with someone?” Yeeun tapped the boy on the shoulder, shaking him out of his daze. Her smile faded when she saw the boy squint at her, shaking his head as he frowned. Did she do something? Why did he look so uninterested? Didn't Yn say that the hat might help her out?

“Yeah, I guess. Sorry, it’s my fault. I should’ve looked more carefully.” He spoke, forcing a smile to wave off the girl’s concern.

Yeeun couldn’t be happier to see the boy smile again. Her cheeks grew hot as the pair held eye contact for a few seconds. “Oh well, um,” she began. “My name is Yeeun. Hopefully next time you won’t get me mixed up with someone else.”

"Oh yeah, uh sure.”

“I’ve heard of you before,” Yeeun spoke, this time in a softer tone. “You’re the captain of the rugby team, right? I really enjoyed watching you play last year. This year I didn’t have the chance to attend any of your games because of my busy schedule, but I will for sure make time. Speaking of time, I have time this weekend but sadly there’s no game this week. I wish I had come last time. My friend went, and she said you—”

“Wow, that’s interesting, well I mean there is a party this week. I guess you could come.” Heeseung intervened, his tone lacking any sort of enthusiasm. He knew what this was. Another one of those girls trying to appeal to him; kiss up to him so they could get some special invitation from him. Or the other option; they wanted to get in his pants. There was no in-between and Heeseung was sick. How many times had he experienced the same conversation in the past four years? Previously, he might’ve flirted back, but somehow he was absolutely turned off by Yeeun’s advances.

“Oh my god, really? A personal invitation from you?” Yeeun’s expressionbrightened, along with her smile.

Heeseung shot her a forced lazily grin. “Yeah, just give me your number. I’ll text you the address and time.” She was so excited and for what? He didn’t understand how an invitation could influence someone this greatly. They had parties almost every two weeks. Had she never gone to one? Offering his phone to the girl, he sat back, watching Yeeun type in her number ecstatically, fingers slightly quivering. He already knew. She found interest in him, and he couldn’t help but feel bored at that revelation.

“I’ll be sure to come.” Yeeun giggled softly, returning Heeseung's phone. “I might bring a plus one. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, anyone is welcome. Do whatever you wish.”

And the rest of the lecture went swiftly. Heeseung could see the girl next to him steal glances at him now and then. He could see the twinkle in her eyes and how they shined when her gaze landed on him. She most definitely enjoyed his company, unlike someone he knew. But he couldn't say the same.

Upon dismissal, Heeseung didn’t spare a single glance at Yeeun before barging his way through his row, attempting to get to the doors as quickly as possible. Still left in a daze, Yeeun felt the giddy jumping in her stomach as she watched the boy’s broad shoulders squeeze through the jumbling crowd. She liked him even more now. The handsome, tall and kind Lee Heeseung, who was kind enough to invite her to his party.

Heeseung felt void of emotions. His body felt numb and his expression remained blank as he slammed the lecture door, leaving Yeeun’s sight. His surroundings were blurred out by his thoughts that swarmed and suffocated him.

Why did he feel no joy in seeing people swoon over him?

Why was this morning’s incident still stuck in his head like super glue, permanent and unremovable, that only a painful amount of scrubbing, scratching and rinsing could remove? Heeseung was unable to get his mind off you, and he didn’t have the energy to wash away his feelings when his thoughts blocked his freedom.

The realization of his feelings was something new to him.

But Heeseung feared acceptance.

His hands automatically swiped at his phone, dialing the first number on his contact list.

“1”

He needed a distraction.

“What the fuck? Where do you need to go?” Your jaw hung wide open at your best friend, who only shot you a nervous grin as she fidgeted with her fingers.

“I’m sorry Yn, please?” Ryujin shot her puppy-like expression at you, begging for you to say yes.

“Okay, first off, why the fuck are you going to see Park Sunghoon, and second, why do I need to drive your ass there? Drive yourself!” You rolled your eyes, bringing your focus back to your dinner you had cooked for yourself.

“Okay, I Just need to give him something, but I just need you to drop me off because ‘he’ knows my car plate and I don’t want him to misunderstand the situation.” Ryujin pleaded.

You had to remind yourself that “he” was the young manager Ryujin had been seeing, who lived around the area of Sunghoon’s fraternity home. “What do you mean, misunderstand? So you want me to wait for you until you return this ‘item’ and then drive you back?”

“Precisely!” Ryujin shot you a thumbs up, which was followed by a nervous grin. “If he sees that I’m with a friend, then he won’t get suspicious.”

You squinted at the girl. “Yeah, but whatever this whole ‘returning the item shit’ is, it’s already fishy to me.”

“No, I swear it isn’t, just please get in the car. Sunghoon’s an impatient person.”

And that’s how you found yourself stepping on the siege green door mattress, neatly placed in front of Sunghoon’s fraternity house. Ryujin pressed on the doorbell once and a long stretch of silence followed through. She then proceeded to bang on the door repeatedly. Ryujin was also an impatient person. “He’s really testing my patience today, huh?” Ryujin groaned, pacing around the door in small semi-circles.

You stood beside her, bored out of your mind. You could’ve been productive in the time wasted by Ryujin, who was too scared to get “caught” returning some stupid ass item. Maybe he wasn’t home, and he pranked your best friend to come over, just to waste her time. He seemed like that type of person. Waiting in the car sounded like a better idea than waiting out here on their doorsteps in the cold. Just as you were about to turn around, the door slammed open to a disheveled—

“Heeseung?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as your eyes scanned the man standing in the doorway. He leaned lazily on the open door, barely holding on to the frame of the entrance. He was wearing an oversized flannel, barely clinging onto his shoulders that hung only partially buttoned, revealing most of his bare chest. Your eyes grew big as you noticed the dark red love marks that decorated his neck, all the way to the lower half of his upper body, which was shielded by his flannel.

You were sure the marks didn’t stop there.

“Shit. Yn?” Heeseung was not expecting you. He had only come to his senses after the long pause of him opening the door. He had thought maybe Sunghoon had forgotten his keys, or maybe Jake was too drunk to even search for his. In no world did he think he’d open the door to you, standing at his doorway with an unreadable expression.

“Heeseung, what’s taking you so long?” You heard a voice emerging from behind him, her voice laced with fatigue but also a strong sense of desire.

You knew.

You knew what was going on.

“Yn, I can explain.” Heeseung rustled his already messy hair. You could clearly read his expression from the way his eyebrows arched downwards, to the firm line his lips were pressed into.

Shaking your head slightly, you squeezed your eyes shut. “What is there for you to explain?” You spoke in a stern voice, attempting to hide the quivering of your words.

“Heeseung, who is it?” You heard the honey laced voice another time.

Without any hesitation, you pushed Heeseung back into the warmth of his house before slamming the door shut. The cold air fanned your face, and the contrast stung like needles. Or maybe it was the disturbing churning in your stomach that made you feel almost sick. Maybe it wasn’t the cold that pierced your body, but the realization that hit you hard in the head, knocking you back to reality.

Why did it hurt to see him like that?

Why did you even care? What did it matter to you?

You always knew. Heeseung was the biggest player on campus, but somehow you didn't know why you expected him to differ from his reputation. You had seen him on campus with his hands around a girl’s waist before, so why did it hurt you so much to see him today?

Ryujin stood on the side, this time her mouth hanging wide open. What did she just witness? She knew her best friend, she read you like an open book, and she understood every expression and twitch in your facial expression. She had just witnessed her best friend’s heart shattering into pieces.

ENTRY LOG #3

Fuck Lee Heeseung. He isn’t kind, nor does he have any redeeming qualities. He isn’t someone to pursue if you're looking for something long-term. He’s an absolute jerk who lies through his teeth and he — it doesn’t matter. Yeeun should give up on him. He’ll just hurt her in the end.

Entry logs were supposed to be professional.

No feelings were supposed to be involved.

You dreaded your next meeting with Yeeun. Once again, you had nothing positive to report to her. You had been labeled the most professional member of the club, yet you failed to deliver any actual substance. Maybe this was a sign to quit the club once and for all. You would have to pull out your logbook full of scribbles and curse words at your client’s love interest.

It was unprofessional of you. But the only main issue was your feelings.

Why the heck did your heart drop to the pit of your stomach when you saw Heeseung the other night? It wasn’t like you two had anything going on — you knew that for sure. But then why did his expression fall into utter fear when he saw you on his own doorstep? Why did he feel the need to explain? Wasn’t this one of his normal, frequent activities? If so, why did his eyes yearn to apologize?

Snap out of it. You had to bring yourself back to reality.

What mattered now was that Heeseung was your client’s love interest and nothing mattered more other than getting them together — even if he was a jerk. You had no responsibility for how relationships would grow and break after your service. Frankly, you got them together, and that’s all that mattered. It wasn’t your fault if they ended up breaking up, because that was something you couldn’t control.

“I’ll just do what I always do,” you mumbled, shaking your head as you watched the faint movement of the clock. “Get them together. The end. No strings attached.”

There were five more minutes until your meeting with Yeeun, but surprisingly, the knock at your door came earlier than expected. She was smiling yet again, this time holding a set of sweet frappuccinos in her hand. The girl had an insane amount of manners. She stood outside the door even if she already knew you were fine with her bargaining in. She respected your privacy and only entered when you gave her a slight nod.

“Yn, you won’t guess what happened!” Yeeun squealed, placing the two diabetes-inducing drinks on the table. “I wanted to tell you as soon as possible, but I remembered ‌ that I didn’t have your number and had no actual other way to reach you.”

There was a strict rule in the whole “cupid’s service.” The relationship between you and your client would remain professional throughout the duration of your assistance. They would have no access to any of your personal information, and neither did you. The only thing you had to keep in contact with was your weekly scheduled meetings.

“What can be so exciting? You're all giddy!” In all honesty, you never understood the girl’s positivity. It was as if she was shielded by a ray of pure golden sunshine for her entire life. Darkness was a concept that strayed away from her, never crossing paths.

“Heeseung invited me to his party!” Yeeun chirped. “It was a personal invitation, too! He asked for my number and sent me the time and address! Do you think he likes me back? I mean, he invited me personally!”

Your smile immediately turned downwards at the mention of Heeseung. You found it odd that even after all the claims about him and his flings, she wouldn't slowly lose interest and move on. Instead, the girl only saw him as a knight in shining armor, who would walk with her in that path of purity, that ray of sunshine.

But she was delusional.

Forcing the best answer you could, you awkwardly closed your log book filled with pages of slander. “Uh, oh wow Yeeun! I'm so happy for you.” What more could you say? Heeseung invited anyone who wanted to attend his parties. There was no such thing as private invitations—

Unless…

Right, you had to be positive. This was your best chance at getting them together. “You should go, a hundred percent. You said he invited you, right? So he’ll probably want to see you there! We should decide on your outfit together.”

“Right!” Yeeun giggled in agreement. “Oh but Yn, I need to request another favour.”

Already scrolling through an online store catalog, you stopped to glance back at Yeeun, who had an almost apologetic expression plastered on her face. “The tone of your voice has me worried a bit. But go ahead, what's up?”

“I’m sorry, but could you please come to the party with me? All my friends are absolutely against the idea and I don’t want to be going to an unfamiliar place alone. I thought maybe since you’ve probably never been, we could navigate it together? Also, isn’t it best to go with a friend?”

Your mind immediately flashed back to the other night, standing in front of Heeseung’s doorway. An unfamiliar place? Yeah, you wished you could agree. “Yeeun, I’m sorry but,” You had to avoid this party at all costs.

Because you wanted to keep the relationship between you and Yeeun professional? That’s only what you told yourself.

You didn’t want to see him again. You didn’t even want to lay your eyes on the boy for a second.

“I get you wanna keep everything professional, but I really need your help! Just this once, I promise! Next time, I promise I won’t bother you about something like this again! You’ve just been so helpful and I really find comfort in you. Plus, maybe you could assist me with getting Heeseung there, right?”

Maybe she had a thing for rambling.

“Yeeun, I’m honored that you find comfort in me, but this is really something I cannot do for you. I can give you tips and I could also help you find a dress, or heck, even purchase one for you, but physically attending? That’s something I can’t do.” You spoke sternly, hoping she’d get the idea.

“But who’s gonna take me home? What if he invites me to drink? I can’t say no to him, and even worse, I can’t drive back under the influence!” Her eyebrows furrowed. She was getting more desperate.

“Then I’ll give you my number. You can call me and I’ll pick you up.”

“But that’s unprofessional!” Yeeun retorted. “I’m gonna have a hard time navigating this new environment. Could you just help me? Please?”

At this point, you knew the girl wasn’t going to back out until you accepted her request. Maybe you wouldn’t even see him. You could just drop her off and stick around outside and make up some random excuse that you're carsick. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. “Okay fine. But this time only.”

“Fingers crossed,” She giggled, standing up from her chair. “I’ll head off now since I have other plans! But we can meet here Friday night, I’ll pick you up. Make sure to bring your drivers license though! You’ll probably be the one driving us back! Oh yeah, and this drink is for you. I was going to bribe you with it but I’m glad it didn’t resort to it.” She waved at you before pushing her way out of your office.

Wow. Did she really think a cheap drink could buy your favour?

You were slowly losing respect for her. Who knew someone this smart could be so stupid in the real world. Being book smart doesn’t define your intelligence whatsoever.

Friday came faster than you expected and with a blink of an eye, you were sitting in the passenger seat of Yeeun’s silver Lexus that smelled as if it was brand new. They were going to a party, so why would she drive out her new car? It was a night of chaos and her perfectly painted car was a hundred percent prone to scratches, bumps and, worse off them all, vomit. Rolling down the windows, you stuck your face in the fresh air, attempting to mask the overwhelming smell of fresh leather. You dreaded this day, but somehow Yeeun didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Thank you so much for picking out a dress for me, Yn!” Yeeun broke the silence while keeping her eyes on the path ahead of her. “I’m glad we found an outfit suitable for you too! Your dress is really cute, but it doesn’t over shine mine, which is probably a good idea since I need to be the main highlight today.”

You had grown to realize that Yeeun wasn’t shy at all. She just needed time opening up and conveying her true thoughts. No wonder her works were all filled with complex feelings and a wide range of emotions. She didn’t have anywhere to convey her own, so writing them out was probably the most convenient for her. Yeeun was comfortable with you now, and that obliterated any filter she had masking her feelings. “Of course.” You awkwardly chuckled, staring back at the blurred silhouettes of landscapes passing by.

“We’re almost there,” Yeeun spoke again. “I can’t wait to see him! What do you think he’ll be wearing? Ripped jeans? A leather jacket? What do you think it is?”

“Definitely not a loose fitting flannel.” You blurted out, eyes still trained on the oddly shaped traffic light in the distance.

“Huh? A loose flannel? Why would that even come to mind?” Yeeun questioned. “Do you like when people wear oversized flannels?”

You choked, slightly coughing at her response. “No, it was just a random thought.”

A random thought?

No.

You still despised Heeseung for his flannel that told you everything. The way his face fell pale and the way he wanted to “explain.” Nothing made sense to you, and your thoughts were still tightly wrapped around that night.

Nothing made sense — not even your own feelings.

You didn’t know why you were so bothered and so angry at the boy. Every time you saw him after that night, your eyes would immediately dart away, fleeing his presence. He would attempt to run after you, but he would constantly lose your trail.

“Well, look at that. I can already hear the music and we’re only a block away.” Yeeun broke the silence once again.

“You might want to park your car around here,” you suggested. “It would be best if we walked over there instead. You wouldn’t want your car getting damaged by drunk students, would you?”

You were right, and Yeeun nodded happily. Complying with your suggestion, she pulled over, parking in front of a lawn, away from anyone’s garage lane. The housing was rather sparse in the area and none of the neighbors seemed to be bothered by the intense booming music coming from the party. Yeeun checked once again if her windows were rolled up completely before getting out of her car. Swiftly following her, you stepped out of the door from your side. You hadn’t even gone into the house, but you could already feel your soul leaving your body. You despised loud, chaotic environments — especially parties.

Yeeun scurried over to you, linking her arm with yours. “Isn’t this so exciting? Let’s find Heeseung as soon as we enter, okay?”

You squinted at her before reassuring her with a sarcastic smile. “Um, actually, I’m a little carsick. I think I’ll stay outside for a while.”

“No, you can’t do that!” She whined, shooting you an accusing pout. “At least greet him with me first. I told him I was gonna bring a plus one. You can go anywhere you want after.”

Demanding and inconsiderate. You had figured that she was just as stubborn as Heeseung.

“Fucking kind facade.” You mumbled under your breath, clearing your throat in the process.

“What?” Yeeun questioned with the same innocent eyes she had looked at you with the first time you two had met.

“Oh nothing, let’s go in.” You smiled.

Yeeun didn’t ask further questions. Blinded by her eagerness, she pulled you into the loud atmosphere littered with red plastic cups and confetti. The music was earsplitting, only making it possible to hear each other if you spoke up. “Shall we head to the main living room area? I heard he’s usually there with his friend group.” Yeeun attempted to shout over the music, covering her ears in the process. The speakers were right at the door, so maybe this was the reason the music overpowered.

You nodded hesitantly, and the girl didn’t waste a single second, dragging you further past the groups of students playing beer pong. Their drunken cheers of victory enticed you more than wherever the heck Yeeun was dragging you to.

“Oh, shit.” The shorter girl halted. “I see him.”

“Damn, do you have twenty, twenty vision or something? Because I can’t see shit.” You spoke with a lack of enthusiasm.

Yeeun turned around, facing you as she fidgeted with her fingers. “Do you see him over there? He’s surprisingly not wearing anything shockingly fashionable, but he still looks so good.” She gushed, looking down at her feet.

Once again, she reminded you. No matter how her personality took a turn, her feelings towards him were still the same — innocent and pure. She liked him a lot, and you could tell from the way her eyelashes fluttered as she spotted him.

Titling your head to the left, you looked in the direction where Yeeun was last staring. You spotted him almost immediately. He stood against a wall, one hand in his pocket and the other holding the same plastic red cup you had seen everyone with. Yeeun was right. He was dressed rather effortlessly, but he was still attractive. He wore a plain white t-shirt tucked neatly in his black straight-fit pants. His hair was styled and neatly parted, however, unlike regular days, more of his forehead was exposed today. He looked mature, unlike his daily boy-ish looks. “Well, it’s your chance. Go up to him.” You encouraged, trying your best to feel the same excitement Yeeun had felt.

“Crap, he looks so good. I don’t know if I’ll be able to say anything. What if I get tongue twisted? You’ll help me, right?” Yeeun panicked slightly, her eyes darting everywhere.

You gave the girl another reassuring nod. How many times would you have to reassure her today? “Yeah, just go up to him.”

Yeeun took a few breaths in and out, calming herself. “Okay, let me reorient myself.”

With Yeeun still facing away from Heeseung, you stole another glance at the group he was standing with. You spotted Sunghoon, the puppy looking boy and the other boy with the sharp features. You had recognized them from the rugby game, as their faces weren’t the easiest to forget. Before you could divert your attention back to the panicking Yeeun, your eyes met a familiar pair of inky dark eyes. Through his hooded lids, Heeseung looked up at you from the rim of the plastic cup he was drinking out of. He held eye contact, his gaze piercing right through you.

Instead of looking away, you stared back at him. Your surroundings seemed to disperse into nothingness as you fell deeper into his gaze that devoured all light with its intensity. You felt your stomach flip inside out as the boy kept his gaze trained on you.

How could he be so confident after that incident?

He really felt nothing, huh?

“Yn? Yn?” Yeeun was already snapping her fingers at your dazed expression. “What are you looking at? You’re making me more nervous.”

“Oh shit. I'm sorry, I didn’t mean it.” You stammered, forcing another one of your fake smiles.

Yeeun rolled her eyes. “You’re constantly zoning out today, but I’ll let it go since you’re helping me out.” Maybe the girl had felt a sudden surge of confidence because she was now holding onto your wrist, pulling you towards the group of boys. She stopped right in front of the four of them and cleared her throat, signaling for their attention. You stood behind the girl, attempting to divert your attention back to the kids playing beer pong.

“Oh? Who’s this?” The puppy looking boy spoke in an amused tone. “I’ve never seen you before. Are you new here?”

“Wow shut up bro, ask for her name first.” The boy with the sharper features stated.

You could see Yeeun fidgeting with the helm of her skirt. Heeseung wasn't even looking at the anxious girl in front of him. Instead, his eyes were glued on you, who seemed concerned about Yeeun’s nervous state.

“Oh wait,” Sunghoon pushed Yeeun slightly, moving her off to the side. He was moving towards you. “You, you’re Yn aren’t you? Ryujin’s friend.”

You lifted your gaze up to meet Sunghoon’s amused stare. Shit. Yeeun looked pissed. She had been completely disregarded by the boys, and Heeseung didn’t even seem to recognize her. “Oh yeah, hi.” You responded dryly.

“Oh wait, you’re Yn?” the puppy boy spoke again. “Heeseung mentioned you before, isn’t that right?” He nudged his friend on the shoulder, indulging in the conversation Sunghoon had established with you.

Your gaze found Heeseung once again. He didn’t speak. His face sat emotionless, void of any sort of reaction as he leaned back against the wall, sipping on his drink without responding to Jake.

“Sorry, he’s been a little out of it recently, I apologize for—"

“Doesn’t matter.” You blurted out. “Um, this is my friend Yeeun. She was invited by one of you, I’m assuming? She just wanted to say hi.” You wanted to avoid saying Heeseung’s name at all costs.

The boys looked at each other, confused. “Uh, I don’t think any of us invited her.” The boy with the sharper features spoke again, further extending his apologetic tone.

“I did.” Heeseung finally spoke up. “Well, she practically begged me to invite her. She bothered me about it for the whole lecture and she just couldn’t stop going on about how she wished she could be at my game. She kept batting her eyelashes at me as if her stupid falsies could seduce me or something. It was kind of sad, honestly. Actually, it’s embarrassing, seeing someone try so hard just to get notice—“

“What the fuck is your problem?” You viscously snapped at him. You could see Yeeun shaking slightly from the rude remarks Heeseung had thrown at her while inching close to her. He had taken someone’s genuine feelings and twisted them to sound like some obsession. You didn’t like Yeeun’s pushy attitude, but this was too much.

The other boys were stunned by your words, too scared to speak up. Yes, they had thought their friend had gone too far, but now that you spoke, there was no more room to intervene.

“What the fuck do you mean? What’s my problem?” Heeseung retorted. This time, his eyes burned with anger. He pushed his drink into Sunghoon’s grasp before pushing Yeeun to the side once again as he approached you.

“You can’t just say that about someone. Do you know how much your words can affect someone? Simply disregarding someone’s genuine feelings doesn’t make you cool. Just because you have a reputation doesn’t mean everyone fucking wants you. Stop acting so entitled because it’s gonna stab you in the back.” You hissed, ignoring how the room fell silent.

“Well, you know what? Your friend here seems to fucking want me, so your point isn’t getting through. She was practically drooling when she entered the fucking house.” Heeseung fired back.

He had already seen you two as soon as you both walked through the doors? Looking back at Yeeun, she shot you a venomous glare. You had completely ruined her chances with Heeseung, and now you were here arguing with him.

You were sick of this.

You had a feeling since day one, no one would walk out of this happy. You knew involving yourself would tangle up the situation, but you were already in too deep, trying to protect Yeeun’s image. Yet, she didn’t seem a tad thankful for your actions.

“Fuck this cupid shit.” You mumbled while scoffing. You didn’t know why Heeseung had targeted all his anger on you after he was the one who threw rude remarks at your friend. But more specifically, you didn’t know why he was so angry at you when he was the one caught in an unfortunate tango with some random girl. You remembered his apologetic eyes the first time he tried to explain. But now, all that was left was anger fuelling strongly in his heart. Maybe he just didn’t want you to tell everyone you had seen him that night and that’s why he tried to convince you with his sad eyes.

“You know what? Fuck you, all of you.” You fumed, turning around almost immediately. You didn’t want to be in this house for any second longer. Yeeun watched as you dashed out of the house, slamming the door in the process. She was pissed — pissed that you blew her chances.

“Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you today?” Sunghoon pushed the plastic cup back into Heeseung’s hand. “First you’re being irresponsive, now you’re being some actual fucking jerk. All this for what, huh? Apologize.”

Heeseung himself didn’t know what had gotten into him.

He had no reason to blow up in your face, nor did he have a reason to denounce Yeeun with such venomous remarks. He didn’t even know why he was so angry. The feeling that welled up in his stomach when he saw you enter the house with a smile on your face suffocated him. It’s not that he didn’t want to speak, he just couldn’t bring himself to.

“I need some fresh air.” Heeseung finally spoke up again, excusing himself from his confused friends, who only shouted at him to come back. Yeeun stood frozen, watching as the boy she so desired disappear into a crowd of people. He had ignored her presence first, made such negative remarks about her, and then, once again, disregarded her while leaving without a single apology. The rumors were lies. Heeseung wasn’t a swift player who swept people off their feet.

Instead, he was cruel and seemingly heartless. Yeeun’s view began to cloud and blur as tears welled up in her eyes.

…

Heeseung headed straight for the door. He once again felt the sudden urge to find you, to apologize for everything that had transpired this past week. You had looked at him with such disappointment. He felt a lump forming in his throat at the thought of you hating him. As soon as he made his way outside, the cold air sent shivers down his spine. Had it always been this cold? His gaze quickly darted in every direction, until he spotted you a block away, leaning against a car with your hands covering your face. Were you crying? But his words weren’t even directed towards you.

His trudge towards you felt almost painful as his feet grew heavier with every step. At this point, you had sensed someone coming in your direction. Looking up, you made direct eye contact with Heeseung, who stood frozen in front of you. You weren’t crying. Rather, you seemed frustrated, especially now in his presence. “Why the fuck are you here?” You spat, gaze piercing through his.

Heeseung’s eyes softened, erasing his lingering anger. He didn’t have the right to get angry with you in the first place, and now that he was alone with you, he no longer wanted to keep beefing. Swallowing the lump that reformed in his throat, Heeseung finally spoke up. “I’m here to apologize. Not just for today, but the other night, too.”

“What is there to apologize for?” You retorted.

You were afraid to break down in front of Heeseung.

You couldn’t let him know how devastated you had felt after you saw him the other night. Rather, you couldn’t even give him the slightest hint that you were affected by his actions.

You were right. What was there to apologize for? It’s not like he did anything wrong. But somehow the guilt was eating away at him. He didn’t want you to misunderstand his feelings.

His feelings?

“You’re right. There’s nothing to apologize for, but everyday we grow further apart. At this point, you’re practically avoiding me like I’m some plague.” Heeseung spoke.

He had caught you. Sure, you wanted to play it off like nothing had happened. But whenever you saw the boy, you couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang in your chest. Avoiding him was your only option. “I realized that I shouldn’t get close to you, since you’re my clients—”

Shit. You weren’t supposed to tell him.

“I mean. You’re um,” you struggled to make up an excuse. “You’re bad news. That’s what everyone says.”

“I know already. You don’t have to hide it.” Heeseung mumbled. “I knew that Yeeun girl was your client right when you spoke up for her. I was her target, huh? You’re tasked to bring us together. Is that why you distanced yourself?”

“Yeah, it’s not professional to have close relations with your client’s—“

“But what if I liked you?” Heeseung intervened. “What if I couldn’t go a fucking day without you?”

You were lost for words, and time seemed to stop at his sudden confession. What the heck did he just say?

“Yn, I don’t care for your fucking client or your stupid cupid services. I don’t care about professionalism, nor do I care about hurting Yeeun’s feelings. Every single time you avoided me or ignored me, I felt as if I was sinking deeper into a pit of lava. It fucking hurts. Do you know that? To see your expression drop into a cold hard stare as soon as we made eye contact.”

“Then why the fuck did you sleep with that girl if you liked me so much?!” You finally lashed out, demanding an answer.

His eyes widened, shocked by your words. Of course, he wanted to explain himself, but he didn’t expect you to blatantly ask him out of the blue. “That,” he hesitated. “I didn’t know how to handle my feelings. I don’t usually feel such a strong attachment to people, and I wanted to deny every last hint of my true feelings. I thought that maybe… I thought by getting with someone else, I’d forget about how I felt about you. But it was the complete opposite. The more I indulged in my old habits to erase you from my thoughts, the more empty I felt. The worst was the other night when you came knocking on my door. I couldn’t even process the situation. My mind just fell blank. I knew I wouldn’t be able to apologize without telling you everything. Yn I’m sorry. You probably don’t even fucking care, sorry for—“

“It hurt like shit. Did you know that?” This time, you were the one to cut him off. “You could’ve told me earlier.”

“But you were the one avoiding me.” Heeseung spoke with an innocent expression on his face.

He was right. You would never listen to his reasoning unless you came to terms with your own feelings. You would continue to ignore him until he got tired of trying.

You giggled softly. “You’re right. That was ridiculous for me to say.”

Heeseung’s frown finally curved up into a genuine smile, an unfamiliar sight. You were so used to his cocky grins and his sly smirks, you couldn’t help but admire the way the corner of his lips lifted ‌so effortlessly. “You’re finally smiling again. I missed it. I missed you.”

You stared at the boy, this time falling victim to his piercing gaze once again. You stood there frozen, unable to move, as Heeseung stared back at you with his inky eyes that appeared golden under the streetlight.

The both of you fell into the comfort of silence.

Falling deeper in his eyes, you barely noticed him inching closer to you, his breath fanning your lips. Not being able to process anything completely, you managed to hold your breath, squeezing your eyes shut at the proximity and the boy's staggering breath.

He was nervous.

He had never been nervous, but as he slowly leaned in, he could hear his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. You stood still, gripping onto the helm of your skirt as if you were holding on for dear life. Too scared to move, you didn’t know what to expect. But most importantly, you couldn’t even process what was transpiring between you two.

Was this wrong?

What were you doing?

Before your mind could wander into deeper analysis or questioning, you feel his soft lips press against yours. His movements were gentle, almost as if he could hurt you at any moment. His arms encase you as they both rest on the car behind you. Heeseung was afraid to hold you. In his eyes, you were as delicate as a feather, and just one touch would break you. He saw you as someone precious, non-deserving of his filthy hands.

Who even gave him the right to kiss you?

You, on the other hand, were lost in your own world as your mind swarmed and your heart raced. You liked Heeseung. You truly did. Your hands slowly crept away from your side, wanting to pull him closer to deepen the kiss, but before you could, he swiftly pulled away. His breaths remained unsteady as he saw your flushed face. “Shit, I’m sorry Yn. That was all of a sudden, I know.” He mumbled as his ears burned.

“Don’t apologize.” You blushed, reaching for his hand that fell to his side. Your pinky latched onto his pinky finger as you nervously looked down, avoiding his gaze.

“Does this count as you accepting my apology, then?” Heeseung spoke in an almost whispering tone.

Finally, looking up at the boy again, you gave him a reassuring smile as you hummed in response. Heeseung couldn’t help but smile like a fool, knowing you had felt the same about him.

You had accepted his apology and you didn’t push him away when he kissed you. Heeseung couldn’t be happier. What else could happen to steal his happiness away? Nothing else mattered anymore.

“Heeseung, where the fuck are you?” A voice echoed through the street. It was Sunghoon. He had come looking for his friend.

“Oh shit. I think I have to go.” Heeseung shot you an apologetic expression. “I’m so sorry Yn, I’ll see you on monday?”

You nodded, giving him another smile.

His hands left the comfort of yours as he turned away, heading back to the house.

Your pinkies were now detached from each other.

A promise would be broken.

The next weekend you spent, curdled up in your room, replaying your encounter in your head. What the heck had transpired? Heeseung had kissed you. And you did nothing to stop him. You buried your face in your palms as you blushed again. You felt as if you were on cloud nine. What could go wrong?

Maybe you had gotten ahead of yourself.

Your phone buzzed, shaking you out of your endless thought loop.

Yeeun: Yn. I don’t know what the heck happened that day and I don’t understand why you felt the need to speak up for me. If he was gonna slander me, then so be it. You failed. You fucking failed bringing us together, and you left me that night, alone. How can you even make up for all this? How could you do this? Where’s your fucking professionalism, huh? What are you gonna do now, huh?

You froze at Yeeun’s text. Part of you wanted to blame her for having no self-worth whatsoever. But in another sense, she was right. You were the sole reason she wasn’t able to get with who she wanted. You involved your own feelings into the mix, completely throwing everything off course. It was your fault for diverting Heeseung’s attention, and you knew you were wrong. It was stated clearly in the rules: you could never have personal relations with your client, or your client’s love interest — you had broken them both.

You let your emotions get the best of you when you intervened in the conversation, attempting to protect Yeeun, and most importantly, you had kissed Heeseung, completely enveloped in your own feelings. Your first mistake was accepting Yeeun’s invite to the party.

No. Your first mistake was getting involved with Lee Heeseung.

Your phone buzzed again.

Yeeun: Also, I hope you don’t think I’m dumb. I saw you. I saw you with him. I can’t believe you could do this to me — and you still preach professionalism? Cut the bullshit, Yn. You completely deceived me, and unless you want to deal with getting kicked out, I suggest you do something.

You didn’t care if you got kicked out, frankly it would probably be for the best if this would be the outcome of your requests. However, the main issue was your own guilt, that was picking away at you. You had lied and pretended to help someone. You had acted selfishly, only caring for your own emotions. The sole purpose of the Cupid consulting club was to prioritize your client’s feelings and help them in your best effort. You did none of that. You didn’t prioritize Yeeun, nor did you truly help her.

You shrunk back into your chair, contemplating what to do.

Yeeun was right.

You had to do something.

——

Heeseung was left confused once again. The boy was thrilled to see you after the weekend and it was all he could think about. His friends had also found his attitude weird, as they saw him randomly chuckle out of the blue. They didn’t ask questions, but they were happy he was finally out of his slump.

So why did he see you avoid his gaze once again, scurrying off to get away from him? He shook it off, thinking you were still nervous from the party incident, but as days flew by, you once again avoided him like he was some sick disease. What had he done so wrong now? He needed an answer.

He would not let you go so easily again.

“Yn.” You heard a shout from behind you. His familiar voice echoed through the empty hall, and as soon as you heard him, you wanted to dash for your life. “Can you just fucking stop? Why are you running?” The voice spoke again.

You knew if you turned around, your heart would shatter.

Right. This was for the best. You had to compose yourself.

“Yn what the fuck?” Heeseung garbled your wrist, turning you around to face him. “Why are you ignoring me again? After everything?”

You met his saddened eyes, filled to the brim with unexplainable emotions. You couldn’t bear seeing him like this, but his grip on your wrist only seemed to tighten as you attempted to wiggle out. “Let go of me.” You spat.

“What the fuck, Yn? You can’t just expect me to leave when you’re acting like this. I thought we talked this over already? Why are you acting like this, avoiding me?”

You sighed. Pushing your emotions back into your churning stomach. You hated this. You wanted to disappear.

“Stay away from me. I don’t care what you thought happened that day, but nothing did. Think of it as a mistake.” You blurted out. “No, actually, you’re Lee Heeseung, so think of it as your average fling.”

His face fell pale, all the emotions drained out by your words. “What did you just say?” He stammered.

“Do I have to make it any clearer?” You spoke again, this time struggling to keep your voice steady. “That day meant nothing to me.”

Heeseung felt as if he had been punched relentlessly in the stomach. He had poured out all his emotions to you and for the first time; he felt comfortable and content with someone. But now you were standing in front of him, each word piercing him slowly but deeply. You gave the boy a taste of his own medicine unknowingly, and all he could do was beg you to stay. “Yn, you don’t mean it.”

The more the conversation dragged on, the more you felt yourself waver in your emotions.

You wanted to drop this act, but you knew what had to be done.

“I do. You meant nothing to me. All your actions made me laugh. How could you fall for someone just because they didn’t show interest in you at the beginning? You’re truly pathetic.”

That was a lie and your words continued to thrust him deeper into agony. Sure, Heeseung enjoyed the chase, but he would drop anyone without batting an eye if they weren’t showing any interest. He thought he would feel the same about you, but his feelings proved him wrong. “If this is all an act for your stupid client, drop it. I told you already that I don’t care about your client, and if this is for her, I won’t accept it.”

He had caught you red-handed, but there was no turning back.

“No, I fucking despise you. Everything about you pisses me off to the core, especially your habits. Your habits are absolutely disgusting” At this point, you now involved your own insecurities into this. You hated his sweet words because at the back of your head you feared he was lying and you hated his habits, mainly because you were afraid he would never be truly content with you.

But none of that mattered.

Because you were never supposed to involve your own emotions in the first place.

Heeseung grabbed your shoulders, pulling you close to him. His grip tightened, breathing in slowly as he pressed his eyes shut in frustration. “Yn, fucking look at me in the eyes and tell me that there was nothing between us. Look into my eyes and tell me everything was a lie.” His voice wavered, cracking at the end of his sentence.

You took the last bit of courage you had and looked up at the boy, whose eyes were now begging you to tell him that it wasn’t a lie. “Did you not hear me the first time?” You spoke in the steadiest voice you could muster up. “You meant absolutely nothing to me, and you never will. In my heart, you amount to nothing.”

His grip on your shoulders loosened as they fell to his side in pure terror. Backing away, his hands began to quiver and his breaths grew unsteady. Never in his life did he ever think he’d experience the absolute horror of a heartbreak. He had cruised through his life, breaking hearts left and right, but never did he think he’d find himself on the verge of breaking down.

“Heeseung, it’s over. Whatever exchange we had, ends here. Don’t approach me or even look in my direction ever again.”

And that’s all it took.

That’s all it took to break Lee Heeseung, the boy who grew up engulfed by praises — the “careless” jerk, who was immune to tears and deemed “unbreakable.”

That’s all it took.

“Yn,” He croaked out, his voice still wavering. “Even if you shoved me deep into the pits of hell, I would still crawl back to you. Even if my legs were severed, I’d still claw my way back to you. Don’t you understand?” He paused.

“I fucking love you.”

Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach. You understood. You wanted to embrace him, to apologize, and to comfort him.

But you knew.

Cupid’s law number one: Never fall in love.

You were a matchmaker. You had no place involving your own emotions.

You were a matchmaker with the sole purpose of bringing others together.

But you ruined it.

You ruined it for everyone.

You had to swallow that bitter pill and acknowledge your wrongdoings. You had to come face to face with it all, and accept that you had failed.

You had fallen in love.

And in the process, you broke people for the sake of your own happiness.

There was a reason why rules were set, and you never knew the severity of following them until now.

You let your emotions get the best of you, and that’s where it all spiraled downwards.

You didn’t have the right to love; you were undeserving of it.

And if it meant breaking Heeseung’s heart to make up for your wrongdoings, you would gladly do so, no matter how badly it hurt.

For the sake of others.

You had to let go.

“I’m sorry.”

———————————————————————————————————

A/N: oml hi bff! You’ve made it through this word vomit. Hello, but I’m so honored that you even survived till the end. Editing this, plus blr acting up took like 5 hours I wanna cry. But anyways, thank you so much for reading! This is my first official one-shot, so feel free to leave your feedback and thoughts! I would love to read all of them. But again, thank you so much for reading ilyyy

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screamingatanemptyroom · 3 months

Text

Please Fix the Story pt 28- The Higher Realm

New part is up! More with Liam and Bel!

Masterpost linked here

_________________________

A few days passed, and although it couldn’t be said that I grew stronger in this realm, at least I wasn’t any weaker. Every morning Liam would bring me a cup of his blood, and I would drink it silently, pretending not to notice the strange color and taste.

Despite the need for blood to keep me alive, the days were surprisingly fun. Liam and I would go out each morning and explore the forest. We would find more rocks for his collection, and the rare patches of fruits or edible plants that had survived in this life-stealing realm. We spent the time talking, learning about each other.

“You know I actually like this forest quite a bit.” He said one day as we walked, his hands idly picking dying leaves from the branches as we passed by.

The confession caught me off guard. “I thought you called this place your cage.” A cage for a monster, in fact, which Liam is the furthest thing from.

“Well that’s not the forest’s fault! It might seem a bit lifeless and dull at first, but the close you watch it, the more things you can discover!” He grinned, the expression bringing a warmth in my heart. “There’s the stubborn trees and flowers that survive, the occasional crow and insect! Sometimes when I’m fly… when I’m running through the forest, I see so many different types of life I can’t even count them! There’s something new to find every day!”

Soo.…Liam can fly, right? He definitely said fly.

I didn’t say anything to him about it, though. He clearly was hiding something about himself. He was just as clearly extremely bad at keeping secrets. But I never pressed him. I just hoped that when he felt comfortable enough, he would tell me. Watching him laugh and talk about exploring his realm… his cage... and finding the beauty in it made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. What a wonderful person…or whatever it is that he is.

I watched him continue to explore with an excited look, unable to hold back a smile myself.

No matter what Liam really is, nothing could be worse than the company I was keeping in the higher realm. I forcibly turned my thoughts away as they drifted towards Adonis and his betrayal. No use wasting any time or energy on him.

Looking ahead, my eyes widened in shocked delight as a I spotted a familiar object.

“Are those apples?!”

Liam rushed ahead, still much stronger than I was even with his blood, and examined the fruit closely. Finally, he picked one with a broad smile. “It is! I didn’t even know there were any apples in this world! See I told you! Something new every day! Let’s take a break!”

He cleaned off a tree stump and helped me sit down, before leaning on a tree nearby. I pointed at the fruit in his hand, unable to contain my excitement. “Can I have one too?” I had eaten nothing but meat for the past few days, and although Liam’s cooking had improved by leaps and bounds, I was still craving something else.

“Of course, no need to ask! This one is for you!” Liam pulled a knife from his belt and began peeling the apple. His actions were neat and efficient, with the ease of familiarity. It took only a few moments, and then the freshly peeled fruit was passed over to me.

I held it in my hands, confused. “Liam… How did you know I like peeled apples?”

Liam grabbed another fruit, preparing to peel that one as well. “You told me.” He seemed unconcerned.

“No… I didn’t.” I thought back to our conversations over the past few days. Apples had never come up.

Or had it?

_________________________

“Why the hatred for the apple peel?” The young man seemed genuinely curious from his tone of voice as he handed me a freshly peeled fruit.

_________________________

A brief memory, flashed before my eyes.

“No… you did… I think.” Liam’s hands paused and his brow furrowed, something deep within his eyes seemed to flicker and grow.

Silence stretched between us.

Unnerved, I tried to stand up. At the quick movement, I felt lightheaded, almost falling to ground. Liam rushed forward, the apple in his hands dropping to the ground, and caught me, hugging me tightly in his arms. His eyes stared into mine, with only a short space between them.

His eyes were so familiar. I could feel it, even if the memory was just out of reach.

My hand brushed his face, tracing his eyes.

“Who are you, Liam?” I whispered. “How did I know you before I met you? How do you remember things about me I’ve never said?”

Liam turned bright red, but his hands tightened around me, refusing to let me fall. “I’m sorry Bel. I don’t know the answers to your questions.” He gently set me back down on the stump.

“I don’t really even know who I am, other than what others have told me. I’m a villain. I’m a monster.”

He picked up the fallen apple from the ground, cleaning it on his shirt.

“But even if I don’t know much… I know what you are, Bel.”

I watched his actions, curious. “What am I?”

He smiled, then turned and walked back to the tree to pick more apples to take home.

“You are a treasure.”

I didn’t know what he meant or how to respond to that, so I sat in silence until he came back to help me up. Together we went back to the cave. Back home.

*** Soul transfer 37% complete. ***

_________________________

After the apple incident more days passed. Without Liam’s blood I knew I would be close to death. But together, we had found our own little peace in this barren world. I was happy, happier than I had ever been in the months in the higher realms traveling with Adonis. Our forced, stifling partnership had been my only social interaction for so long, that I had become resigned to it, considered it normal. Now, I was slowly getting used to being around someone who actually listened to me… cared about me. It was frighteningly addictive, this caring. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t go back to the higher realm, even beyond the desire to spite Adonis and his stupid fate.

But as happy as I was, there were lingering concerns:

First, was the knowledge that Adonis would come back. As much as I hoped never to see him again, I knew it was the inevitable outcome. He had sent me here, yes, but not to die. I wasn’t sure yet what his plan was, but I knew it was going to involve his eventual return.

Not being willing to sit around moping about, I quickly began planning about how to “welcome him” when he did. A few mornings I left into the forest on my own to set up the surprise. Liam was a little concerned when he saw me sneaking around, but I persuaded him it would be worth the wait. I let out an evil laugh as I did so, and strangely enough, the sound seem to reassure him.

The laugh also prompted another change in the glowing blue counter that followed me.

*** Soul transfer 49% complete. ***

The counter was the second concern. It had gone up steadily over the time I had been in this realm, with no clear indicator for the source of its growth. I did think that Liam’s presence might be a catalyst given how slowly it had grown over the time I had been in the higher realm, but I couldn’t quite figure out what about him or my interactions with him was driving it upwards.

Even more infuriating, since the counter had hit 49 percent, it once again was stuck and hadn’t moved. I had grown used to it slowly ticking upwards throughout the day, but now 2 days had passed and it didn’t budge. Any experiments to recreate moments that had led to prior growth ended in failure. I found this incredibly frustrating, wishing I could find whoever was responsible for putting this counter in my head and beat them to a pulp. As that didn’t appear to be a viable option, however, I finally decided to ignore it again.

There was one last thing that kept my time in this realm from being truly happy:

Every night, Liam was forced into a lower realm.

It took me a while to realize it was happening so regularly. I had seen him fall out of the portal when I first arrived, but had heard no similar sounds since. He would say goodnight to me with a bright smile, close the door to my room, and when I woke up in the morning, he had breakfast ready with the same happy demeanor. He never gave any indication that something was wrong, or that he had suffered in any way, and so I continued forward in blissful ignorance.

Until last night.

I had gone to bed, and Liam and wished me goodnight and closed the door like usual. A few minutes later, however, I had a strange feeling that something was wrong. Unable to shake my uneasiness, I stood back up and opened the door. From a different room I could hear the clinking of metal and a muffled grunt of pain. Following the noise, I opened a different door, to a room I hadn’t explored before, not since he had expanded his cave during one of my solo wanderings. As the door swung open, I felt my heart drop.

Liam was in chains.

A glowing portal, similar to the one I had seen him fall from before, hovered before him. Metal chains had extended out from the edges of the portal, wrapping themselves around Liam’s arms and legs. He looked defeated but not surprised by his binding, fighting it uselessly. Slowly the chains started to retract, pulling him into the portal.

“Liam!” I tried to run forward but struggled to move as quickly as I wanted. Liam looked up at my shout, his face shocked for a moment before giving me a sad smile.

“Don’t worry, Bel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No!” I cried out, reaching out just as the portal closed around him. My fist slammed on the bare wall that was left behind.

BAM!

I felt uncontrolled rage. The sight of him in chains… his sad resignation… I couldn’t bear it. I thought about Liam calling himself a monster.

BAM! The skin of my hand broke under the force as I slammed it again. Red blood stained my fingers, dripping down onto the ground, the bright red color quickly dulling and turning greyish as the world absorbed the energy from it. For a moment in my mind, I saw the bright gold blood Liam gave me each day, his insistence that it was “normal, human blood.”

There’s still so much I don’t know about him.

I sat on the floor, staring at my bloody hands. I prayed silently, desperately, that his words were correct, and that he would be back in the morning. Until then, I could do nothing but wait.

It was a long night.

_________________________

After what felt like countless hours, the portal opened up again. Liam dropped down onto the ground onto his back, his hands holding his head, his whole body shaking with pain. It was too similar to the incident that happened the night I arrived.

“Liam!” I hugged him tightly, ignoring his shocked yelp as he was yanked into my arms.

“Bel?” He took a deep breath, steadying himself, and then sat next to me on the floor. “Have you been waiting here to whole night?”

“…” I hugged him tighter. Liam hesitated, then slowly wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“Bel… are you okay?”

I buried my face against his chest. “I was scared.”

“Scared?”

“Scared you weren’t coming back.”

“…” I could feel him freeze in shock at my words, and then a happy chuckle echoed in his chest. “Of course I came back, Bel! You’re here waiting for me. Nothing could stop me from returning to you.”

“What if you found a way to escape this cage? Wouldn’t you take it?”

“Only if I’m bringing you out with me.” One hand slowly rubbed my back as he spoke, a soft, comforting motion. “It’s not really freedom if I’m leaving you behind.”

Finally, after a long while, I backed out of his embrace, ignoring his sad puppy eyes as we moved apart. “What happened tonight? Did you get pulled into a lower realm?”

Liam nodded silently.

“I’ve seen this twice already, on both nights that I left my room. Does this happen to you every night? Have I just been completely clueless and left you to suffer alone?” I felt my eyes fill with tears but held them back.

He panicked, “No it’s not that bad, it’s not every night!” He paused, seeing my silent stare, and slowly admitted. “Okay, so it’s most nights, but still, there’s nothing wrong with you sleeping while I’m in the lower realm. You’re weak from this place sapping your energy, it’s better that you rest so you can do what you want at other times.”

“What about you? How could you be getting enough sleep?”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine!” He waved a hand. “I hibernate every few months for a day or so… I mean…" He blanched. "... I sleep a normal human amount…”

“Right... Liam, I want to go with you next time.” I interrupted his ramblings on normal human sleep. “Don’t do this alone.”

“…” Liam fell silent, looking uncomfortable.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to traveling the lower realms, I can watch your back!”

“No I know. You are extremely capable.”

I met his gaze. “So why do you look so concerned?”

“… I don’t get assigned very good roles to play in these worlds.” His hands wrung together his eyes not meeting my own. “Sometimes weak, sometimes powerful, rarely beautiful, often grotesque.” He hesitated again. “Always evil.”

“Just because you’re assigned the villain role doesn’t make you evil.” I laughed bitterly. “You’ve already seen what the so called ‘hero’ is capable of. I don’t care what character they force you to be. I’ll be there to protect YOU.”

At my words, a smile slowly spread across his face. “Okay then. Let’s go together next time.”

_________________________

The next night, we waited for the portal, hand in hand.

“We’ll have to move quickly once it arrives.”

I nodded in agreement, and then had a thought. “What about the chains?”

“Those only come out if I try to avoid entering the portal.” His voice was calm, but I winced at the memory of him being dragged into the lower realm. It’s okay. I’ll protect him this time.

Before I could say anything further, the portal appeared, hovering in the center of the room.

“Let’s go!” Liam grabbed my hand and rushed forward. I closed my eyes, leapt through the portal, and then in the darkness between worlds immediately lost the sensation of his hand within mine.

“Liam!” I reached out, but I could feel nothing, see nothing, hear only the sound of my own ragged breaths.

And then the darkness cleared.

_________________________

Splash!

Someone threw wine in my face. The smell of alcohol overwhelmed my senses, and I felt the room temperature liquid run down my neck and soak my dress.

What a great way to start off. The sarcastic thought quickly came and went as I sighed,wiping my hand across my face. I could now see that I was in a crowded room of well-dressed strangers. The woman who was the likely wine-throwing culprit, stood in front me with a gloating smirk. She was clutching an empty glass in one hand and a man’s arm in the other. The man with her was watching me with disdain, his expression ruining otherwise classically handsome looks.

“Oops, my mistake.” The woman shrugged and gave a fake laugh. “My hand slipped.”

The man beside her smiled with approval at her action, chuckling at the site of me. “Looks like red is your color.”

Hmm… No idea what kind of story this is, but one thing IS for sure…

I grinned, and punched the woman in her face.

I’m gonna make sure they regret trying to humiliate this lady. I could still feel my character’s deep sadness and sense of betrayal. Whoever these two were, they weren’t good people.

The woman fell backwards from the blow, clutching her face. I watched her fall with a smile, all while speaking in a monotone voice. “Oops, my hand slipped, my bad, teehee.”

Stating the word “teehee” out loud particularly seemed to enrage her, which only encouraged me further.

“El, don’t be childish!” The man snapped, only to break off with a shriek as I kicked out his knee, knocking him to the ground on his back besides the woman.

“Oh no. Look what totally happened by accident.” I continued blandly, while stepping carefully on his crotch. “I’m just so clumsy you see, and it gets so much worse whenever I’m confronted by stupid.”

“You Bit…AHHHH!” The man broke out in another cry as my stiletto came down again.

“Bitahh?” I shrugged. “Haven’t heard that one before. Perhaps you meant, ‘awesome’? I would have also accepted ‘terrifying’.”

He gasped for air, his eyes filled with rage. “Pretend all you like, I’ll never love you!”

I felt a stab of pain in my chest, a holdover from the character I had become, but all they saw from me was a broad grin. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

I walked away, leaving a stunned, silent crowd behind me. As I hurried away, a phone in my pocket went off. I grabbed it, pulling up the familiar text.

**** NEW WORLD: Love is Torture ****

This is a dramatic romance story featuring the bright and innocent young Ella and her husband, the rich, handsome, dark and broody Cameron.

“Oh, you got to be kidding me!” I nearly threw my phone. “I’m married?!”

This dark tale of lies and misunderstandings focuses on the forced marriage between the two leads. Cameron, under the false impression that his younger sister was murdered by a rival in business, dedicates his life to revenge. Forcing the man’s daughter, Ella, to marry him to save her father, he spends his energy trying to break her spirit, hoping her pain would hurt the one who killed his family. He insulted her, humiliating her both publicly and privately. He brought his mistresses to public events, encouraging them to bully her as well.

“So Cameron is the villain, right?” I groaned. “Why did you say he was the lead?”

Little did he know that his sister was not dead, but had in fact suffered amnesia and was living quietly in a small town nearby. In fact, Ella was the kind stranger who saved her life. His deep misunderstanding of her, however, causes a large amount of drama as he fights his growing attraction to her.

“Gross.”

The first book was met with mixed reviews, as most of the readers struggled to support such an abusive male lead. As the story continued, and more and more controversy circled around it, the author abandoned the whole series in disgust, leaving the world unstable.

The Author’s regret was not being able to bring a happy ending to the heroine of the story, leaving her trapped in an abusive relationship and facing a dark future. Your mission is to give the heroine a happy ending.

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION? ****

YES? NO?

“…Does the ending have to involve a relationship with Cameron?”

NO.

“Great!” I tapped the "Yes" button with a grin and found a corner to sit down in as I slowly accepted the memories of this poor character.

“Oh dear, this was worse than I thought.” I muttered.

Ella, the poor girl, had been so very innocent. She had no thought but to save her father, whose business had been crushed by the mis-aimed revenge of a madman. After the marriage, she resolved to make the best of the situation, trying to get to know the handsome man who had become her husband.

Her efforts only brought her pain.

Fortunately, he avoided touching her at all costs, which limited any physical abuse. But the constant insults, tearing down her appearance, her talent for art, her speech. Any perceived flaw was trotted out and exposed for all to see, breaking her heart each time. He flaunted his affairs in front of her, shattering her dream of any loving, committed relationship, frequently and vulgarly comparing his conquests to her which only further spiraled her self-confidence.

I frowned as the memories moved forward in my mind. I hate drama romance leads the most.

This party actually marked a turning point in their relationship. After having wine dumped on her by Cameron’s mistress, she had cried and gone upstairs to change. There, a triumphant and intoxicated Cameron had forced her mid-change against a wall, kissing her. He had soon left, disgusted himself for succumbing to his attraction to her, This was the first time they had had physical contact, and from then on Cameron had found himself more and more drawn to Ella, and she felt trapped, unable to refuse his advances, hoping to protect her father.

I leaned over, puking into a trashcan.

Ella’s memories all too clear about her suffering. After emptying my stomach, I stood back up, wiping my mouth with a shaking hand. I should have crushed his genitals harder. I was so relieved at having derailed the plot.

Now to go derail it further....And then I need to find Liam.

Following Ella’s memories, I went straight to the home she shared with Cameron, only changing my clothes once I was back in my own room with a locked door. Grimly, I put on loose, comfortable clothing, and packed a bag with Ella’s original belongings in it. I ignored the expensive, shiny jewelry on the dresser, leaving behind anything that could be traced to Cameron’s money.

I also made a phone call to one of Ella’s father’s old lawyers, who agreed quickly to bring the requested paperwork to the house within the hour.

And then, packed, dressed and papers ready to go, I sat on the couch with a hot cup of coffee, and I waited for my hero to arrive.

SLAM!

Cameron rushed into the house, his face red with rage. Seeing me sitting calmly he paused, as if confused, but then stepped closer with his fist raised threateningly.

“I’ll make you regret what you did tonight!”

I smiled. “Actually, unless you want my knee in your crotch and my hot coffee in your face, I suggest you sit down and talk to me like a big boy sociopath.”

“…” He didn’t seem able to process my words, but in his shock he sat down on the chair across from me so I counted it as a win.

“Good job!” I applauded briefly. “Now, onto the important stuff.” I tossed the partially signed paperwork onto the table. “Divorce.”

“No.” His voice was an unrecognizable growl. “You’re mine! You are stuck with me. You have to pay for your father’s sins.”

I sighed. “Okay, Mr. Broody McPsychopath, as much as I’ve NOT enjoyed playing house with you, listening to your abuse, and watching your affairs, I’ve got more important things to do.”

“I AM the most important thing to you! You OWE me!”

I tossed another paper onto the table, this one with a photo and an info sheet. “ I heavily disagree with that statement, however, I also would prefer you not stalking me in a pitiful attempt at misguided revenge. So take a look:”

He picked up the paper. “What is…” His eyes widened in shock as he recognized his sister.

“She’s not dead. I saw a picture of her on your desk today, and recognized her as a person I helped out of a car accident several years ago." I made a reason for my sudden knowledge of the plot with ease. "She had amnesia, and settled in a nearby town. The info is written there.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, I know this is foreign, but what I’m doing is called COMMUNICATION. It’s where we talk clearly about things to avoid stupid and painful misunderstandings.” I pointed at him. “First: you forced this marriage to punish my father, under the foolish impression that he arranged for your sister’s death. Two: Your sister is alive and well, and even a cursory investigation into the car accident will help you find the actual people responsible for the accident. And finally…” I pointed my finger at myself. “I only married you to protect my father, and thus with this misunderstanding resolved would like to be free of you.”

“…” He seemed overwhelmed by the concept of not having misunderstandings. I nodded sympathetically and sipped my coffee, giving him time.

“You won’t leave.”

“Pardon?” I asked, confused.

“You can’t resist me. I’ve felt your eyes following me,” He smirked. “Even if I divorce you, you’ll be back and begging for more within a week.”

“Hmmm… Okay. Let’s totally go with that delusion, and have you sign the divorce papers to prove me wrong.”

He reached out, now overly confident, his pen hovering over the paper. “Are you sure, Princess? This is your last chance to have a claim. After this you’re just like any other woman to me.”

I struggled to keep a straight face. “You mean less to me than the house plant that I killed, and that was made of plastic. I think I’ll take my chances.”

He signed the paper, shaking his head with a smug look and a light chuckle. “Here.” He passed it off, trying to brush my fingers with his but I took the papers with kitchen tongs I had brought instead. No accidental physical contact for gross jerks! ”I’ll see you in a few weeks when you come to beg me to take you back.”

“Sounds good, buddy.” I stood up and waved, taking my signed divorce papers happily. “And don’t forget to leave cookies and milk out for Santa while you’re at it. He’s about as likely to visit you as I am!”

I walked out, with a hearty, evil laugh, the sound familiar and comfortable.

And now… I have a villain to find.

_________________________

I found Ella’s car and drove out of the long private drive from Cameron’s mansion. As I traveled, my phone rang. I quickly answered, whistling cheerfully.

“Ella!” My character’s father’s voice rang out, clearly worried. “What happened? I’ve heard all kind of rumors…”

“Oh hi Dad!” I called out cheerfully. “Great timing! I just lost some weight! A whole load of abusive, nasty annoying dead weight.”

“What?”

“I divorced the dirtbag! Aren’t you proud of me?!”

“YOU DIVORCED CAMERON?! It can’t be official, right?!”

“Already uploaded the signed paperwork to our lawyer! Should be submitted any minute now and I’m a free woman.” I thanked my lucky stars for the unrealistic insta-divorce setting in this world, which was great for generating quick drama that a years-long court heavy process wouldn’t.

“GO BACK AND QUICKLY TELL HIM YOU ARE SORRY!” Ella’s father yelled, panicked. “Hurry, he might still take you back!”

“Oh, dad, I’m so sorry…”

“You should be…”

“I didn’t realize you were in the throes of dementia.” I sighed dramatically. “I guess age catches up with us all! Don’t worry Pops, I know a few great nursing homes where the staff are nice, the colors bright and the food soft and easily consumed without teeth.”

“ELLA!”

“It’s okay!” I interrupted, speaking slowly and loudly. “I’ll take good care of you!”

“Stop being ridiculous!”

“I’m not the one talking nonsense, old man." My tone was now serious. "Cameron is a psychopath, abusive, piece of trash. If you had any mental capacity left, you would be absolutely cheering at the news that your daughter was free of him.”

“What about my business?”

“If you can’t run your business without your daughter’s marriage to protect you, then you are better off leaving the business world and moving to the nursing home. And I’m happy to help you do that.” I paused and then added with emphasis. “Anytime. Just try me.”

I then hung up, betting internally on whether or not he would come to his senses.

_________________________

I headed over to a club on the fringe of the city, called “Fortress.” From my character’s memories, I knew I would find the villain there.

A mysterious club owner who rarely showed his face, the club was a front for his secret criminal organization. His group has clashed several times with Cameron’s, leading to a growing feud between the two men. At the end of the first book, close to the end of Ella’s memories, the villain had kidnapped Ella to try to force Cameron into giving up on a business, only to be shot and killed by Cameron in the rescue attempt.

Most likely, Liam had become the club owner/crime boss villain of the story.

I parked in front of the non-de script club, and knocked on the front door.

A very large muscular man opened the door, a deep scowl on his face. “We’re closed.”

“I’m a friend of the owner.”

“Sure you are, lady.” He tried to close the door, and I shoved my shoe in the way, glad I wore boots.

“Trust me, if you call him, he will definitely want to see me. Just tell him Bel is looking for him.”

With much more convincing, I finally managed to enter the club. TO my dismay, Liam wasn’t there. I sat awkwardly on the couch in the VIP lounge, snacking on peanuts, waiting patiently.

I could here the men in the background arguing.

“How could you bring her here?”

“She says she knows the Boss!”

“I thought the Boss hated women.”

“The Boss hates everyone.”

“True… should I get rid of her? I already called him!”

“I think…”

The door slammed open, and a panting disheveled man in a suit came tumbling in. In one hand he held a large baseball bat, the other clutching a cell phone. I studied the man carefully, taking note of his dark hair, a face covered in scars, including a long diagonal slice across one eye. His eyes however, were a familiar blue.

I jumped up, and threw myself into the man’s arms. “Liam!”

_________________________

After Liam calmed down, we found a quiet place to talk.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked, quietly clutching my hands in his.

“I’m fine.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “I was so worried! When I got here, I saw the story… saw what was going to happen to you at the party… and I rushed over.”

I thought of the baseball bat he was carrying. “What were you planning to do when you got there?”

“Education.” Was his firm answer.

I couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“But when I got there, it was just a bunch of crowds of gossiping people, and a really loud woman who kept screaming about how she was going to kill someone. That’s when I got the call you were here.” His hands squeezed my own. “I’m so relieved you are okay!”

I explained to him my actions so far, which caused him to laugh and congratulate me on my quick divorce.

I added, “Fortunately, I didn’t feel Adonis’s presence in this world.”

“Yeah, he’s been less frequent about coming into the lower realms since pushing you into my realm.”

I thought about that. “Wait, so are you in every lower realm I’ve visited?”

“I don’t know for sure." Liam shrugged. "I get set to a different realm every night. Sometime Adonis is there, sometimes both of you, plenty of times it’s just been me.”

I had a strange realization as I thought back to the last world I had gone to, the two kingdoms realm. Remembering the familiar feeling I had gotten from the kingdom-destroying beast... “Liam… you wouldn’t happened to have been a large monster before, would you?”

“WHAT?! I have no idea what you are talking about!” He turned pale and panicked at the question, avoiding eye contact.

“Really? In the lower realm where I was the princess? Didn’t you help me take over the world?”

Liam grabbed his chest and let out a sigh of relief, “Oh THAT’s what you meant!” He nodded. “Yes that was me.”

“…” I once again knew I was missing something, but felt too awkward to keep pushing. Instead, I explained to him the mission given to me, to have a happy ending.

Liam offered to hand over all of his underground criminal organization resources to my disposal. “What do you want to do?”

The question caught me off guard. I'm still not used to having someone ask me what I wanted to do, instead of trying to force me to follow a plan or some predetermined fate.

I smiled at him. “I think the best revenge for a woman who was humiliated by her ex-husband to get revenge on her father, and who was sacrificed by said father to save his own business… is to become more rich and powerful than both of them.”

"Sounds good." Liam nodded. "Let's go to work!"

And so, we got to work.

_________________________

I had lived in more than enough lower realms that centered around business, and was fairly comfortable with how to build a company up, (especially in the cheat worlds of romance novels where rich, handsome men who somehow spend zero time on their company abound). With Liam donating some starting capital, I was able to grow a business over the next year that became the talk of the town. Soon I pushed my father’s business into a corner, and began a forced acquisition. His horrified and bewildered expression once he realized it was me in charge of the mysterious rival company, gave me a nice warm feeling inside and prompted another villainous laugh.

As for Cameron…

He had reunited with his sister, and through the magical medical treatment available in the novel, gotten her memories back. He had tried to contact me twice that I knew of. Once after finding her, and another a week later. I blocked his number and ignored all other attempts. Taking advantage of his distraction, I snatched up a large portion of the big deals from his company, using the memories of Ella and the previous story of this world to be able to pinpoint which ones to target.

I was quickly becoming the richest person in the world, and my mission progress bar was slowly up-trending.

In between becoming a rival CEO to destroy my father and the male lead, I spent the rest of my free time with Liam. It became the norm for us to spend time together every day. We always found time for something, whether it was eating a meal, going for a walk, watching a movie, or just sitting next to each other while we dealt with the paperwork of our respective business empires. We told jokes and laughed, plotted and schemed against the male lead and my insufferably self-righteous father, and overall continued the comfortable existence that we had lived in the woods of Liam’s realm.

One night, we both fell asleep on the couch at “Fortress,” me holding a laptop, him clutching a remote and a bowl of popcorn. The next morning, I woke up and looked over to see his scarred, strange but still familiar face. I had a sudden urge to reach out and touch him. If I had woken up in this world, and the man I had been married to was Liam instead of Cameron… I would have been happy to just stay married.

The realization of that thought hit me hard, and I stood up, confused.

Do I have feelings for Liam?

He was a strange person, much like me. A mysterious existence with too many secrets. One I knew very little about. But he was also kind, gentle and caring person. Someone who I wanted to protect with everything I have, and who I trusted to protect my back no matter what.

Liam woke up, seeing my staring. “What are you looking at. Do I have something on my face?”

“…” I hesitated unsure of what to say, but after taking a deep breath, blurted out: “Liam… let’s get married!” I looked away, filled with horror once I realized what I had just said, but at the same time, felt no desire to take it back. Why not? What better happy ending for Ella on top of being rich and powerful than being in a nice healthy relationship with someone wonderful?

“…” The silence stretched on. I finally worked up the nerve to look over to Liam only to see wide eyes filled with shock, and a bright red face.

“Bel…” He finally said with an embarrassed look. “Before I give you an answer, I need to tell you something: We talked about your mission in this world, to save and stabilize it… but you never asked about what MY mission was.”

“You have a mission too?” I asked, distracted and mildly confused as to why this was relevant to my sudden marriage proposal. “What is it?”

“It’s…”

Before he could answer, a man burst into the room. Behind him in the club, the sounds of fighting and shouting could be heard. The man stood before us with a vicious grin, holding out an outstretched arm.

He was holding a gun.

“Cameron what on earth do you think you are doing?!” I shouted, standing up. Liam got up next to me, his hand grabbing mine.

The look in Cameron’s eyes was feral. “I’m saving my wife from this villain!” He snarled, pointing the gun at Liam.

I stepped in front of Liam. “First of all, that’s ex wife to you! Second of all, why would I need saving from Liam?”

“He kidnapped you! I know everything, Ella! He built up a rival corporation to compete with me and your father…”

“No that was me…”

“He even forcibly acquired your father’s company!”

“Still me…”

Cameron kept talking, as if he hadn’t heard me. “And I know that he’s been preventing you from contacting me, or answering my phone calls.”

“No… I blocked you. And I didn’t want to see you.”

“It’s okay!” He smiled at me, but the expression sent chills up my spine. “I’m going to make things right, by getting rid of this snake first.”

I held my arms out. “You’ll have to go through me.”

“Bel.” Liam whispered.

“What is it Liam? I’m kind of busy.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“For what…?” I broke off into a horrified gasp as he stepped around me, distancing himself and moving into a clear line of site from Cameron.

BANG!

Liam fell to the floor.

I saw red.

Grabbing the baseball bat, I swung it as hard as I could at the man’s offending hand.

CRACK!

I felt his wrist break from the blow. He let out a scream of pain, looking up at me with a confused expression. “Why are you doing this, Ella? I’m saving you! I love you!”

I glared at him, kicked his gun away, and swung the bat again, hitting his chest. He fell to the floor with a grunt.

“Love? You call your madness and selfishness love?”

Crack! I broke his other arm.

“No, you’re just a petulant child, whose mad because he thinks that other kids might play with his toy.” I smiled coldly. “Well guess what?”

I kicked his chest, knocking him onto his back. “I’m not your toy. And just like you don’t really love me, I don’t love you.” I put my foot in “crotch stomping” position.

“And I’ll make you pay for killing the man I lo…”

“Bel!” Liam’s weak voice called out, interrupting my rant. I dropped my bat, causing it to hit Cameron’s face as he let out another groan of pain and rushed to Liam’s side.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He nodded, showing the clear wound on the muscle of his shoulder. Just a few inches to the left and the bullet would have… I shook my head, and hugged him, trying to avoid the injured arm.

“Why would you step out like that?”

“I tried to tell you... my mission.” He held up a cell phone, and to my surprise, I saw an interface very similar to mine.

100% complete.

**** You have finished the mission! ****

I stared at the words. “Your mission was to get shot?”

His smile was faint and bitter. “That’s the villain’s job. To create conflict and then to get defeated. My ending was liked by the readers. They didn’t want it to change.”

“Is every world like this?” I was horrified.

“Pretty much.” His expression became happier. “But on the bright side, since I’ve been shot, but didn’t die, I can answer your question!” He blushed, but pushed forward with a whisper. “Yes.”

“Yes?” I was confused, and then realized what he was saying, and coughed, trying to cover up my embarrassment. “Well then, I guess we have a wedding to plan.”

“Bel?”

A strange voice called out. I looked over to the bruised and beaten Cameron, who was staring at me with an incredulous look… and with contained rage.

I knew that look.

“Adonis.” I said quietly, positioning myself in front of Liam to protect him. "Welcome to the party."

“Why are you here? Did you get dragged through the villain’s portal?” He shook his head. “Even if you try to escape, you can’t. I’m your only salvation. Only the hero can save the princess from the monster.”

“I think you and I have very different definitions of the word ‘monster’.” My phone chirped and I looked down to see a notification that the latest deal had gone through, officially making me the richest and most powerful person in this small world. Between that, and an upcoming happy wedding… I waited a moment, and sure enough:

100% complete.

**** You have finished the mission! ****

My mission was complete as well.

Adonis try to scramble to his feet. “Wait, Bel, what have you done?”

“Fixed the world again. Without you. The usual.” I tilted my head, staring at him with a cold smile. “Don’t try to come after me again, Adonis. You won’t like what will happen to you.”

“Bel!”

The portal opened, swallowing Liam and I both.

“BEL! I AM COMING FOR YOU!”

I waved cheerfully, and Liam flipped him off as we disappeared.

“YOU HEAR ME?! I AM COMING FOR YOU!”

We were back in the villain’s realm. Immediately I felt tired, as the drain of the world set back in. I leaned against Liam shoulder, which was fortunately no longer injured and gave him a grin.

“So… when’s the wedding?

*** Soul transfer 59% complete. ***

Liam stared at me, shocked. But before he could answer, he stopped in his tracks, and seemed to sense something. “As much as I would love nothing more than to talk about this, Bel, we’ll have to save it for another time.”

“What’s going on?”

His serious gaze met my own. “Adonis is here.”

#writing #PFTS #fantasy #romance #violence #hope you like it #next part will have more about Liam

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rainbowsky · 2 months

Text

Anonymous asked: this is why we can’t have nice things.. [redacted]

Speaking of 'this is why we can't have nice things', Anon...

I've closed my inbox to anonymous asks.

Congratulations Anon. After four and a half years of taking anonymous questions from people, yours was the proverbial final straw that broke the horse's back, or whatever that saying is.

Copious swearing under the cut. Prepare yourself for the sound of branches cracking and breaking in the storm.

I can't even begin to imagine why you'd think that is something I would want to see. What the actual fuck? Did it not occur to you that that might be extremely homophobic and distressing for me to see?

I don't know what part of "I don't want to hear any more of this" people don't understand but FFS, I just can't do this anymore.

I'm not here to explain, coddle, comfort or commiserate over hateful statements and badly photoshopped BS toxics are sharing on Twitter, nor am I here to compensate for people's unwillingness to curate their online experience. If I wanted to deal with Twitter BS, I'd be on Twitter.

I'm not here to be a social crutch, either. If a reader has a question about something someone posts on Twitter, they should ask them. They shouldn't come to my blog and send me an anonymous message asking me what someone else meant!

I cannot believe the sheer volume of both of these kinds of asks I get.

THERE IS A REASON I AM NOT ON TWITTER

I take curating my online experience extremely seriously, and I purposely block and avoid all of the worst toxic shit. Especially Twitter, which is a raging cesspool. What point is there in me doing all of that if I can't avoid it anyway because people bring it to my inbox?!?

At the risk of putting my foot in my mouth like WWX, I have to ask, "Who raised you people?"

This all strikes me as really basic stuff, here. Take a few seconds before you send an ask, and reflect!!

Is this something that belongs on another platform? Is there a really good reason why I'm bringing it to this platform?

Is this something rainbowsky wants to hear about?

Is this something rainbowsky has repeatedly, repeatedly told people not to fucking send?

Is this something I should be handling myself by simply blocking and ignoring the person who posted it? Do I really want to play the role of spreading toxic, fucked up lies and garbage farther and wider than where I found it?

Is rainbowsky the right person to ask about this, or should I be asking the person who posted it?

Do I really need to be anonymous for this? Why can't I message rainbowsky privately, or reply in the comments of a post? Why do I want to hide my identity for this simple question or comment? How does being anonymous impact any relationship building or community building that could be happening?

Have I considered rainbowsky's feelings and experience in all of this?

If I haven't taken some basic steps to make this a collaborative, positive, community building experience for rainbowsky, why should he want to post my ask on his blog?

From now on if somebody has a question for me they can damn well do it off Anon. If you don't want me to publish your name say so in your ask and I will respect your wishes, but I will know who you are and you will be accountable to me for what you send. End of fucking story.

Sorry for the bitchiness, please don't take it too personally. I am just really at the end of my tether. My life is stressful enough as it is without having to deal with stuff like this.

#ffs #personal #fandom reflections #twitter is a cesspool #ask

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sanjisboyfie · 4 months

Text

๑ keep safe : chopper's crown (27)

one piece x male reader

i imagine

the grapes on the end of the branches

are sweet

『 prev 』

unfortunately for nami, the only way to get to the other side of the lake was by climbing up a humongous tree and then crossing over it via branches. she was shaking in all of her steps, making [name] slow down his pace to comfort her.

zoro, who was walking behind the two, rolled his eyes in annoyance and began audibly complaining to nami for being so slow.

just as nami was about to bite back with a string of curses towards zoro, something from the white river jumped up and tried attacking them. nami screeched in fear, grabbing ahold of [name] and pulling him in front of her to act as a shield. this action just caused them to lose their balance though and immediately fell off the side of the branch.

[name] held nami tight to make sure she was secure in not falling and outstretched his hand, calling out robin’s name for support. she understood immediately and made two hands sprout out to catch them before they fell to their doom.

“nami, you sure love causing trouble,” [name] teased, adjusting his grip on her waist. her legs were hugging his torso and arms were wrapped around his neck in a death grip. he propped his foot against his ankle, making his thigh act as an impromtu seat for her as they were hanging in the air.

“i am sorry…for troubling you,” she apologized breathlessly, collapsing onto the firm ground of the branch, apologizing to both robin and [name].

“no problem,” robin easily said, an unbothered look on her face.

[name] continued on teasing nami, who in her terrified state couldn’t even scold him, by pinching her sides and cheeks and ruffling her hair, “nami! always the one getting us into trouble, maybe you’re more of a hassle than me and luffy — combined! haha!!” his cheerful laughter rang out in the forest.

just as they touched the ground once more, this time on the opposite of where they originally were, robin had stopped abruptly in their exploration. [name] looked at her in interest, following where her gaze was and questioning what she saw.

unblinking, she responded, “a well,” he hummed in acknowledgement, but then wondered aloud, “what’s so important about a well?”

“why would a well be in the middle of this gigantic forest? someone had to have installed it here, obviously, but why at the root of tremendously large trees?” she rhetorically asked, inciting [name] to theorize on his own why it was there.

“maybe the animals made it!” he childishly cried out, making the other three unsure of if he was joking or not.

zoro slapped him on the back of the head, grumbling, “don’t think too much or else steam might come out of your ears. whenever you do seem to think, anyway, you say stupid shit like that.”

[name] pouted, grabbing ahold of zoro’s short hair and giving it a harsh tug. the action made zoro wince in pain before glaring at [name] as if his life depended on it, “hey! don’t be so rude, you stupid marimo head! you’re the stupidest one in this whole bunch,” [name] scolded, giving another harsh tug to his hair, “you’re bringing the moral of the strawhat adventure team all the way down with your shit attitude!”

“this is not an adventure team!” zoro called back, hand lifting and grabbing [name]’s own h/c locks, “no one else agreed with you when you named us after that, so it’s your own fault in the first place!”

“my fault?! how’s it my fault you’ve got a shit attitude?!”

“at least i don’t think with my stomach instead of my head!”

“oh, that’s a bold statement since you’re insinuating you think at all!!”

the two began fighting viciously, falling to the ground as they were having a mini brawl that included pulling each others hair and scratching at the other person’s skin.

nami could only sigh in exasperation, not having the energy to scold them. instead she informed robin she would try getting a bird’s eyes view to grasp a better way to continue exploring, making the ravenette nod her head in acknowledgement.

as zoro and [name] were childishly rolling back and forth on the ground against one another, the two women were hard at work in trying to make sense of their situation.

idiots.

[name] and zoro couldn’t tell how much time had passed since when their brawl first started, but it took nami hurriedly pulling them up by the collars of their shirts to break them up.

“you two sure like to always be touching each other,” robin noted with a laxed grin.

“what does that mean, woman?!” zoro snarled at her, glare evident on his face, “he’s the fucking idiot who constantly needs to have his head beat in for being so stupid!”

[name] was going to shoot back a couple of more insults, but nami was already quickly dragging him off by his wrists. he began complaining, kicking the ground he was being dragged through, “nami! nami! let me beat zoro up some more, the bastard allways has something to say and it’s pissing me off!”

“no, no, just keep getting walked like a dog, [name]!” zoro teased, looking at how he was letting nami drag him around even though he could have easily stopped her.

“don’t fucking call me a dog!!” [name] shouted, flicking his wrist forward and making zoro’s body fly back a couple of meters into the trunk of a tree.

zoro’s body left a comically large imprint into the bark of the tree at the pure force that was used in propelling his body forward.

“now, now, there’s no more need to be fighting like this, you two,” robin said, attempting to calm the nature of their fight down, “[name], it seems like nami had found a new discovery — more places for us to adventure. why don’t you help her navigate it?”

[name]’s face lit up at the word “adventure” and his attention turned away from zoro and instead to the orange haired girl. robin then looked to zoro and began saying some calming words to him (spoiler alert: they just pissed him off more than actually calming him down), words that [name] wasn’t in earshot to hear.

he was too busy in pestering nami in where they were going and what she had seen to make them go out adventuring in such a rush.

she only ordered him to carry her on his back, to make their trip faster. he obliged immediately, dropping to his knees and carrying her with ease. he followed her orders on where to go, robin and zoro following closely behind.

zoro was still annoyed with [name]’s behavior earlier, but was more interested in finding out what got nami in such a mood of adventuring farther onward — especially when she seemed so spooked earlier by their environment. they reached a point deep enough in the forest they were able to hear the waves of the ocean, which made nami tug on his h/c hair to encourage him to go faster.

“hey! don’t pull my hair, do you think i’m a horse or something?!” he scolded in annoyance, slapping his hand onto the grip she had on him, but she didn’t let up even a little bit.

while zoro and robin watched on as [name] ran in whatever direction nami ordered him to, the both of them realized that they were near the area of a major battle going on. the sounds of explosions going off was far away, but still audible if you focused.

honestly, [name] realized the battle as well, but wasn’t paying it any mind. it was far enough that he didn’t have to worry about it threatening their safety. he was well aware of the fight at hand. but with a click of his tongue, he easily brushed the thought of it away.

“see! right up ahead! keep going!” nami urged him, snapping him out of his own thoughts. he rushed forward, seeing a vague shape of what nami was referring to.

it wasn’t until they ran past the lining of trees did he understand nami’s need to see it up close. he let her off of his back with ease, gulping at the sight.

the other half of cricket’s house was up in the sky island territory. there was no doubt. that fake cardboard cutout that was covering the humble abode made sense now. their house was cut in half and sent up to the sky. as in explainable as it was, it was certainly interesting.

he unscrewed the top of his water container open and took in a couple big gulps before stowing it away. nami was examining it closesly while he just allowed himself to walk towards the edge of the island.

finally, after speed walking to catch up, zoro and robin had joined the two and were also gawking at the sight before them. [name] was standing over the edge, looking down at the calm white clouds in front of them with a stoic look on his face.

he was busy trying to piece all of the information together that he had completely zoned out of what the other three were saying. he smiled softly, though, imagining the possibilities of what the rest of the island had to offer. he thought back to the old story book from the north blue, rubbing his forehead in thought.

“[name], are you alright?” robin gently asked him, walking up to him and placing her hand on his shoulder. he turned around, startled, before calming down.

“no, i’m alright.” he replied easily, “i was just thinking,”

“yeah, the steam was practically coming from your ears-”

nami slapped zoro on the shoulder to shut him up.

“just thinking about what that old chestnut guy would say, that’s all,” [name] grinned, looking at the white sea once more before stepping away from the ledge. “i bet he’d start cursing his stupid ancestor or something,” robin laughed at his playful comment, the both of them rejoining the rest of the group.

“then…that means the city of gold never sank…” nami said, turning the attention to her as she theorized out loud, “that means, this is the city of gold, since this is technically apart of jaya! after all that trouble, we were finally able to make it to the city of gold!! this much be a reward after behaving myself, right, god?!”

everyone sweatdropped as they all were reminded nami’s end goal was always just to find some treasure. and seeing as they were actually given more answers to their questions, they all decided to head back to the merry.

[name] was humming the song that always played in his head, picking up whatever caught his eye from the ground and almost making a bouqet of whatever it was that he got. by the time they arrived back at merry, he had a whole bunch of sticks and odd looking leaf plants bundled together in his clenched fist.

“chopper’s gift!” he announced proudly to zoro, who very much did not care, “and when we get back, i’ll decorate his hate with these sticks — a proper adventurer’s crown!”

zoro only yawned in response.

to the adventure team’s shock, though, when they caught sight of the sacrificial altar and merry, it was very obviously in terrible shape. the mast was gone and, despite being so very far, they were able to clearly see that it was in bad shape.

[name] felt worried, but eased up a little when he realized that at least chopper’s body was still on board the ship. his frame and two other…creatures…were on merry.

“chopper!!” nami shouted, concern etched on her features.

“i hope he’s alright…” [name] said under his breath, walking forward.

“chopper, did something happen?! answer us! are you alright?!”

there was dead silence on chopper’s end. nami dropped her hands from cupping the side of her mouth and she looked up pleadingly to [name] for help. he stepped forward and projected his deep voice loudly, “chopper, answer us! come on out, i got you a cool gift!!”

it took a couple of seconds, but there was finally movement on chopper’s end. everyone breathed a sigh of relief to see that he was fine, awaiting for him to give an update on how he was.

he peaked out from the railing of merry and shakingly called back, “no-nothing…nothing scary happened!!” in a very unconvincing tone.

“that’s my strong man!!” [name] cheerfully answered back, waving the bouqet in his hands, “look! i got something for you, so you did a good job in protecting merry, okay?!”

“obviously not good enough, usopp’s gonna give us an earful for how bad the condition of merry is. i mean, look, the mast is missing…” zoro said under his breath, earning him a swift glare from [name].

just as he was about to lecture him for being rude, there was a loud splash that was heard. they all turned their heads to see that it was some sort of ship driven by usopp, luffy, and sanji.

“ah, it’s everyone else!” luffy said, his loud and boisterous voice echoing in the forest. “which means— [name]!!! are you there?!”

[name] grinned, waving his arms in the air to be noticed, “luffy!!! are you alright?! sanji, usopp, are you guys okay?!”

luffy’s laughter was heard next, along with usopp shouting about how he bravely fought against enemies and [name] didn’t need to worry about him. sanji, since the moment he laid eyes on the rest of the crew, was plainly singing praises of robin and nami.

”[name]!! i’m going over to you!!!” luffy shouted and before anyone could properly react, his arms were already stretched behind him and then shooting forward to grab onto [name].

the tall man groaned and prepared for impact, setting the bouqet down so they wouldn’t be ruined. and when luffy finally landed on his torso, with great force, they were sent tumbling backwards and into the trunk of a tree.

“i found you!!” luffy screamed in glee, nuzzling his cheek to [name]’s face, humming in happiness to be reunited with [name]. as if they were seperated for years.

“yep, like you always do,” [name] breathed out, looping his hands underneath luffy’s thighs and hoisting him up on his waist, “let’s get to merry, now. chopper was the one protecting it all this time, i hope he’s alright…”

luffy only hummed back in response, unconcerned as he just kept trying to sink further into [name]’s arms. luffy’s skin and hair were all wet from the splash they created upon their arrival, making [name]’s own hair dampen just a little bit.

“oi, you’re making a huge mess,” [name] commented, pushing luffy’s raven bangs aside to get them away from his face.

luffy grinned, shaking his head similar to how a dog would to dry themselves, and that grin only got wider when he saw the look [name] was giving him. not an ounce of being pitiful was on the captain’s face.

they all hopped onto the miniature ship sanji and usopp were waiting on, [name] expertly carrying luffy around with ease as he boarded with the others. when they finally reached the altar, [name] went over to chopper immediately and brought him into his arms.

“you’re alright?” [name] gently asked, making chopper’s eyes only well up with tears again.

“usopp!! i’m sorry, i’m sorry for letting merry get ruined like this!” he profusely apologized, the sniper’s expression being masked by the shadow over his face.

knowing how much merry meant to usopp, [name] would not have been surprised if the sniper snapped at chopper. well, at least for him personally, he wouldn’t know how he would react if something or someone so precious to him got so violently ruined. he imagined he would lash out in an aggressive way…

but seeing as usopp was very different from him, the man only turned around and looked at chopper in worry, “did you get hurt? you treated yourself to heal up to be all better, right?” which the reindeer nodded his head to, “well, then, everything’s alright! we can worry about merry another time, as long as you’re okay then it’s all good!”

[name] blinked at the calm reaction, feeling a smile make its way to his face. usopp and his ever selflessness shining through, [name] thought to himself. he grabbed usopp’s hand as the man was walking away, smiling at him gently. a silent “thank you” was exchanged, from the h/c haired man ot the sniper. and that gesture and expression on [name]’s handsome face made the sniper blush bashfully, briskly walking away once [name] released him.

that small interaction made usopp’s heart and mind calm down. the reassuring and thankful smile [name] had given him was comforting, especially after seeing the state merry was in. he was glad he was able to keep a level head to please both [name] and chopper.

“you did a good job, chopper,” [name] whispered to the reindeer, “and now, since you’re the merry’s protector, you get yourself a crown,”

laid out in front of them were all the leafy plants and sticks he had collected. he began explaining to chopper that he had to assemble the crown to be put on around the circumference of his pink hat, claiming that he needed to be wearing it proudly the rest of their stay at the sky island.

“my own crown?” chopper asked in wonderment, sitting in between [name]’s legs and letting the man work on his creation. with a simple string that [name] took from the kitchen (without sanji’s knowledge), he was able to tie everything together and gently nudged chopper to stand up when he was finished.

when chopper felt the added weight on his head, he ran to the railing of merry and outstretched his arms to proudly proclaim, “i’ll be a dependable man!!!”

[name] chuckled behind his hand at the endearing attitude. then he got up and joined half of the crew in looking at the old man’s condition. [name] was sat on one side of his body whilst luffy was on the other, the rest of the crew in the room standing more back to give the old guy some space.

chopper explained how it was really the old man that protected merry and saved his life, making them hum in acknowledgement. after assessing his condition, they all decided that it’d be best to stake claim on the shore of the forest rather than on merry.

it would be a safer option for all of them, but especially their injured protector. [name] helped move the essentials back and forth between merry and the land, grinning in excitement when he saw sanji bring along a skyshark to their camp.

“quiet, everyone!!” ‘everyone’ mainly meant [name] and luffy, who were carnivously tearing into the skyshark meat, “we’re in the middle of reports,”

during their reports, everyone learned what the crew was up to during their separation period. it seemed that the strawhat adventure team had the least amount of trouble, seeing as sanji, usopp, and luffy had to fight off one priest while chopper, the old man, and his weird bird (pierre) had to fight off another.

“dammit, i traded adventure with some good fights…” [name] sighed in disappointment, taking a large bite from the sky shark to comfort himself.

nami sweatdropped at his comment, sipping the coffee he had brewed earlier with an unimpressed look on her face.

“well!! thank you everyone for your reports!! it seems that, the most important finding of all is that — this here is the island of gold, the same one the saruyama alliance was searching for!!” usopp exclaimed, pointing at the chalkboard he was using to draw up all their information.

“gold, huh?! i’ve been waiting for an adventure like this!” luffy exclaimed, dropping the bone of the sky shark he was eating and clenching his fists in anticipation.

nami grinned, happy to see she was finally on the same page as her captain.

“hey, hey, luffy! have you forgotten the guerilla’s warning from earlier?!” usopp tried persuading their captain to back down, but his words didn’t even reach the energetic luffy’s ears.

“the guerilla?” [name] echoed in interest, “what did they say?”

“well, seeing as we are pirates, we can’t just back down when there’s a treasure so close by can we?”

“god’s gonna be pretty angry, right?”

usopp paled as the consensus seemed to be they would continue venturing out into the island, deflating when he heard luffy very excitedly proclaim they were going to go gold hunting tomorrow.

[name] stuck by luffy’s side, the two attached by the hip as they fooled around. as the rest of the crew were looking for ingredients for a proper dinner later in the night, they were left to their own devices in entertaining each other.

sanji had commanded luffy to take care of the distilled water, which by extensions meant [name] was taking care of the distilled water too. when zoro and chopper made it back with some other proteins to be added to their stew, they were finally getting more exciting news.

“sanji, sanji, don’t forget to include the fish i caught too, okay?!” [name] reminded, bounding over with a pout on his face, “if you don’t put it in then we’d just be eating vegetable soup!”

“i already added it, quit pouting like a spoiled brat!”

at that news, [name] went back to luffy while excitedly cheering about fish stew.

“alright, alright, everyone gather around for our strategy meeting!” nami called, making everyone come together in a wide circle.

[name] went up to sanji with his own bowl, grinning when he saw the delicious stew be poured onto his dish. he took it to his seat, grinning when he saw his vegetables were cut up in all sorts of shapes. mainly, it were carrots cut into the shape of stars that were floating around in his soup. but, funnily enough, it seemed sanji cut some up to be the shape of coffee beans (he also could have been imagining it, since they were just cut in an oval shape unlike the regular circle…sanji could have just made a mistake by accident).

it brought a childlike smile onto [name]’s face as he almost felt guilt for eating the stew and ruining sanji’s expert work. but the full feeling in his stomach after washed his guilt away.

nami began the recap quickly, eager to get their plan set, “it was 400 years ago when noland first discovered the city of gold. but when he returned to jaya years later, the gold ruins were gone! basically, during those few years, that island on jaya — which is this one, came up into the sky!”

“you mean it rode up the knock up stream?” chopper asked with a look of disbelief on his face.

“yeah! that’s the only explanation! cricket-san said the sea floor explodes at different places each time.

“but it’s hard to believe that forest on jaya is the same as this one…” zoro thought out loud, making [name] purse his lips in thought.

“at least there’s no swam of unreasonably large lady bugs chasing us around here,” he said in relief.

usopp only paled though, grabbing onto [name]’s shoulders and shaking him back and forth, “no! there’s only blood thirsty god ruled priests and warriors, along with other weird animals that are in these forests! [name], it’s still scary!!!”

[name] patted usopp’s head, saying a monotone, “there, there,” in an attempts of comforting the sniper.

“say, those south birds that helped us at the altar were thiiiiss big!” chopper said, extending his arms to show their size, but with how small he was, it was hard to get an idea of how big they actually were.

“yeah, they probably got bigger over those 400 years,” zoro logically explained, taking another bite of his bento.

“but it is weird,” sanji said, walking over and handing [name] another plate of stew before taking his seat next to him. [name]’s eyes turned into stars as he took big gulps from his bowl to finish the stew in one go, “why did those huge south birds save you?”

“well, i’m not really sure, but they all called the sky knight “god”!”

[name] choked on his stew, making sanji look at him in disgust.

“the old geezer is a god?!”

“then that means he’s the bad guy!!”

“you two don’t know how to put two and two together, don’t you?!” usop scolded the two, making luffy and [name] fall into silence.

“anyways!!! getting back to the story, remember what noland’s log said about the city of gold?” nami rhetorically asked.

“i know! he said it was a city of gold!” luffy answered back with confidence. this only made usopp scold him once more for his obvious answer.

“i recall there being a giant gold bell and that there were south birds…” sanji answered this time in seriousness.

“then there was an incomprehensible line on the last page of his log,” robin finished. “just before he died, noland wrote a passage in his book that said he saw gold in the “skull’s right eye.””

“that’s it! now, look at this!” nami unfurled some paper map she had been working on earlier, making the crew join her side and look at it in interest. “i matched the size of robin and [name]’s jaya map with the old skypiea map! it’s just an approximation, but when you put their locations of the beach house together…”

[name] hummed in interest, then grinned in delight to see that it was really all coming together in front of their very eyes.

“see! this is how jaya looked 400 years ago!”

“whoa it’s a skull!”

“well?”

“awesome!!” [name] and luffy said in unison.

“way to go, nami-san!”

“we did it!!”

“then “the skull’s right eye” is…”

“right here!” nami said, pointing at a portion of map that had what looked like a gold temple drawn into the middle of a circular white sea, “noland was referring to the shape of the entire island. but only half of it is left now so nobody could solve the mystery!”

“treasure!! treasure!!!”

“so we just need to go straight to this spot! we can’t leave the boat, though, so let’s split into two teams tomorrow! no doubt about it! there’s an enormous amount of gold waiting for us here!!”

[name] smirked, looking down at the map in interest. with how lively the forest was now, he definitely wouldn’t mind being part of the team that would search for the gold when the time came for it. maybe they’d run into those guerilla warriors too and understand what they were fighting for.

besides the near death run in they had with them when the first arrived, [name] had no idea what to expect. he chuckled, thinking back on how he had so easily threatened robin’s life upon their first meeting. and now look at them now!! practically two peas in a pod. maybe it could be like that with the warriors…

[name] did like people with a strong fighting spirits, anyway.

as he was thinking of their journey tomorrow, it seemed that sanji, zoro, luffy, and usopp were all thinking ahead of their campfire situation. after all, they couldn’t go camping without a fire to keep them warm!

funnily enough, a pack of wolves had joined them in their celebration. [name] had joined the dancing circle with two wolves being carried around in his arms. he easily lifted them up in his arms above his head, smiling and cheering with the rest of the crew.

“gold!! gold!! adventure!!” he shouted into the air, laughing as he felt the wolves on his arms howl in approval of their celebration. their rough tongues were licking at his skin affectionately, making his laughter only amplify even louder.

[name] and usopp were now pulling the wolves into making funny faces, stretching their fur faces to entertain themselves. their antics made everyone around them, including the wolves, to break out into laughter and hold their stomachs.

their rambunctious behavior lived on until the early hours of the morning, making them pass out soon enough for at least some time for rest. everyone’s faces as they were passed out were stuck in permanent grins.

[ .ᐟ ] fun facts: sanji purposely did cut the carrots in [name]'s stew into the shape of coffee beans ; in the original epsiode, he cut the carrots for the ladies into hearts while the others had their cut normally

[ .ᐟ ] song for this chap: sour grapes by le sserafim

『 prev 』 ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🌊 ꒱ 『 next 』

taglist ! lmk if you want to be tagged/if i forgot to tag you!!! :

@skullr0se, @strawberrii-tea, @triangulartriangles, @anotherlovefool, @sinmp, @3v37773, @taru-nami, @disc0dild0s, @boredwithlifeatthispoint, @kaulitzer, @whotdefak @lcst-at-5ea @zforgottensniper @notplutos @violently-nerdy @cheetosins

#≡;- ꒰ ° keep safe series ꒱#ks #one piece x male reader #one piece x reader #x male reader #x reader #male reader #one piece male reader #one piece imagines #male reader imagines #anime male reader #one piece fanfiction #one piece fanfic #male reader fanfic #male reader fanfiction

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accio-victuuri · 4 months

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cpn time: yibo’s new songs 🎧

here we are, two songs and a bunch of short video clips later, but this post will be more about the lyrics. if you haven’t listened to the tracks then please enjoy bystander and everything is lovely first before anything else. i’m so thankful that wyb has kept his promise to fans of bringing us a new song every year and also performing it during nye. he may not be the most obvious when it comes to appreciating his fans but this is the best example of his commitment to sharing himself to fans and treating us.

i will start with some minor clues before we get into the lyrics and all that clowning interpretation. 🙇‍♀️

1. The first 3 photos that yibo-official released as soon as it turned 12:00, one of them was color pink, or you can say, very light shade of red. His photos released before had a more solid red like that from a traffic light but this one leans more towards pink.

A very nice choice of color knowing how he relates pink to being the color of love and and all the other symbolism we attached to it.

& when yibo posted it, he placed the pink one in the middle vs yibo-official’s who placed it on the right.

2. Same choice of words between their studios, especially with reference to the gap of time. We are definitely looking closer than a normal fan would when it comes to their studio’s captions, edits, posting time etc and to a normal fan this would just fly over their head. but the amount of coincidence between the two is too much!

3. QQ released parts of the lyrics and this one, the chorus of everything is lovely ( up to the part talking about love of coming home ), the word love was mentioned 23 times. Love Zhan. I mean, we all know this boys loves 2 and 3 😂😂😂

4. The timing of release for their projects this day. Another example of how they don’t overlap with the day or time. XZ’s marie claire was between 10-12 and then WYB stuff of course started coming out at 12:00. this follows their pattern 👀

5. I really like what this bxg discovered, the way everything is lovely was written, if you turn in upside down it may read wyb loves xz. 🤯🤯🤯

for those of us who have been subjected to xz’s artwork and the little things he hides, this should be believable to you. he is known to do these things, even without the cpn intention.

==================

BYSTANDER

I gotta say, i’m leaning more towards this song, i didn’t expect it! I just love how it sounds and i’m with those who felt nostalgic while listening to it. it seems familiar and brand new at the same time. The melody of the first few lines got me thinking of words ( bee gees ) and the guitar/drums played are excellent too! I hope he sings this with a live band please! 🙏🏼

I often watch, listen and feel like reaching out to touch.

Holding a handful of seawater to see it’s dreamlike color.

this is more of a song ( atleast to me ) that speaks of who WYB is as a person. a bystander/spectator/onlooker. he is someone who observes people and keeps quiet first before engaging. but that doesn’t mean he is indifferent, in this song, he talks about admiring the things around him.

i’m also thinking of a wish to be a bystander. XZ/WYB repeatedly said that the super power they wish to have in invisibility so they just roam around without people noticing them. in a way, it’s wyb’s ( and by extension xz ) wish to be able to do this.

Embrace all the joys and sorrows of life. Listen to the plucked feathers speak, wings aiming for the vast sky.

Watch a fallen leaf repeating until the four seasons bring it back to the branch. I cannot see another galaxy but believe in me in a more distant place.

i see this as basically yibo and zz’s view in life, they are willing to go through the good and bad. their lives may seem ideal because they are celebrities but it’s far from that so they just have to focus on the good.

Don’t ask me what i’m looking for, let life pass through.

it’s him just wanting to be left alone, to allow him to go through his life without people watching his every move. or maybe there isn’t anything he is looking for or aiming for, he is just enjoying and going through his life. This line speaks to me so much! There’s really no need to be constantly trying to achieve things and be exhausted by the end of it. Sometimes, it’s okay to sit back and enjoy the simple things.

EVERYTHING IS LOVELY

I have discussed this song before, especially the chorus that covers a lot of the CPNs. I feel the same way about my interpretation of those lines even after learning the lyrics of the whole song.

My hands, accustomed to patting my head, opening up the memory of the river and pond. There are always a few good friends by the side.

Listening to the cicadas, watching the fishing boats.

WYB who likes to pat his head as an example 😂 so this is really from his POV and a more personal touch to start this song.

Listening to the cicadas and watching the fishing boat? This paints a picture of them during CQL shoot and hanging out.

I’m cackling tho at bxg interpretation of the lines that talk about river & ponds and then him having friends on the side. So who are the friends by that pod? Turtles? LOL. 😂😂😂😂

How to distinguish between people, whether post-00s are young or very mature.

This is so WYB. Reminding us of when he always made a point to say that GG looks so young or that they have no age gap 🥹🥹🥹

Under the mud, lotus roots finally grown. Please, lotus flowers do not look back.

Lotus roots/ Lotus flowers. What a peculiar choice to include in the song. Maybe there is some deeper explanation here that has something to do with culture or what but as a clown, our minds went to CQL.

It’s a part of the story and who can forget that behind the scenes of WYB pulling out those lotus seeds for XZ? 🙃

I tightly hold on to the people i once lost.

I like the way some people have interpreted this line. If what we think is true, that they lost each other at some point after the cql shoot then this line makes sense. They had some time apart after that shoot and XZ went to Japan to clear his head. The people around them also encouraged to take this time away from each other and get out of character. But they still found their way back as XZ/WYB. 🤍

The main thing in this song tho is— everything is lovely because you (xz) are in everything. 😭😭😭😭

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

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fandom-trash-goblin · 8 days

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Jiang cheng for the ask game

Also asked my @jcs-singular-slut-strand my beloved <3<3<3 and another anon, i'll just put it here. this needs a lot more jin ling but i'm tired sorry

Favourite thing about them: the fact that jiang cheng isn't a genius like wwx. he works hard and he fails and he's still so fucking amazing. he's sandu shengshou, he's sect leader jiang, he's zidian's wielder, he's fucking amazing. jiang cheng goes from this:

the most laughable one was the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, the people of which either had been killed or had scattered, leaving only Jiang Cheng, who was younger than even Lan XiChen and was still a child born yesterday, who had nobody in his hands but still dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion as he recruited new disciples.

to one of the most feared people in the world. everyone needs to clap for him.

propoganda : sect leader jiang convincing rogue cultivators to join, the dichotomy of our poor little dangereuse meow meow, he's trying so hard but he's going the wrong way, man believes his big brother so deeply even when he wants him dead, his fearsome reputation comes from killing his brother but gosh he will cry if you mention that,

Least favourite thing about them: not a least favourite thing tbh just--i so badly wanted the reverse core reveal man. i wanted jiang cheng to throw it in wei wuxian's face that he sacrificed himself first. i know it's not his character, and it's better that way, but i want him to- and then i wanna see the devastation on wwx's face. delicious

Favourite line: this post has that variation of my father picked me five times in my entire life and it made me happy for months that i cannot bring myself to write so you should just click on the link. also, devastation->

the absolute variations of Wei Wuxian!

Don’t you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path. You think you can be immune to all those condemnations as you stay outside of the world and do whatever you want? No such precedent has happened before!

Why do you want his forehead ribbon? To hang yourself and commit suicide? I can lend you my belt, you’re welcome.

Go ahead. What other bad news do you have to report?

something something If you insist on protecting them(the Wen side branch), then I can't protect you

brOTP: Jiang Cheng & Jin Ling. that's his jiujiu, man. you can fucketh right off if you wanna say anything bad. i would love love an explored dynamic between Jiang Cheng & Lan Qiren. also a possible wen ning & jiang cheng or lan wangji & jiang cheng but we are not gonna see it happen in this cannon lmao.

OTP: chengxian. here's why one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, between this and jonsa, i'm never beating the incest allegations

edit: jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

nOTP: i started out with jiang cheng/lan xichen... but i don't really see it anymore. but i don't hate it either, i will read fics for it if i like the writing.

Random headcanon:

lichtenberg scars. many of them, glowing whenever he uses zidian. here's where i got it from.

man is a savant at politics even if he's loud and angry.

yunmeng jiang absolutely adores their sect leader. i will love you forever if you send me recs all of them. pretend i haven't read a single one.

Lan Qiren has a favourite student that year and his name was not LWJ. Person had the same initials as Jesus Christ.

Unpopular Opinion: liking Jiang Cheng itself might be an unpopular opinion, tbh. but. let me punch wen ning just once. once. i'm sure he's done nothing wrong in his life ever. but please. once

Song I associate with them: zero idea. i'll get back to you on this.

Favourite picture of them:

babey! i think we're underestimating the potential of disney princess jiang cheng // that's his whole damn world he loves them so much // the shepherd's favourite lamb vibes.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #the untamed #jiang wanyin #asks #anon asks #yunmeng shuangjie #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng jiang #i love him. your honor. please

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ms-scarletwings · 5 months

Text

Irken senses, and other ponderings

You know, every time I start to wonder if I’ve finally run out of things to coherently say on the whole “speculating about irken biology” matter, a whole something more is induced to hatch out of the dehydrated floam inside my skull. Between you and me, I think the eggs are triggered by ironic timing.

Anywho, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the world hypothetically through Irken eyes, and other sensory organs. Think I’ll go down them piece by piece, and to follow the pattern I’ve kept through my other Irken brain dumps, I will be drawing a huge amount of inspiration from real life arthropods. Yes, I’m very aware that realistically, any resemblance to earth insects would be coincidental from an alien species, and there’s plenty of room to make up whatever somewhat plausible explanation you can for any faucet of their anatomy. Personally, I like to run from the convergent evolution angle, since I find it no less grounded, full of potential connections the show itself all but begs me to draw, and just plain fun. Let’s get into it.

Also like towards the end there’s a whole section on the hypothetical edibility of Irkens because why not

Prelude: If you want to hear a little more behind my theory about the Irken diet revolving around sugar and a small portion of minerals, you can zip onto this analysis I did, in which I touch on some ideas of mine regarding the composition of Irken skin, their reaction to meat, etc. that works from the assumption that Irkens evolved out of an arthropod-like ancestor. Not necessary to get the gist of this one, but it is background context behind my thought process.

Sight

The Irken oculus is perhaps the most striking feature of the species, very much resembling those tiny crawling things they have been inspired by; however, it’s tougher to say exactly how far the similarity of their insides go. The eyes of most arthropods are in fact along the more simple branches of the evolutionary tree. We know that Irkens are not likely to possess compound eyes, like those found in flies and most other insects, because compound eyes are specialized for wide FOV ranges at the sacrifice of visual resolution quality. Instead, I see a much closer match to a fascinating exception or two found in Earth’s arachnids.

While most of them have utterly piss-poor vision, the hunting styles of jumping spiders necessitated a great deal of further specialization of the organs for depth perception, color differentiation, and sharp images. These are the purpose of those two huge shiners at the front (the other 6 boosting their range for detecting blurry peripheral movement and threats), and these are what bring their effective vision on a level much closer to that of familiar binocular mammals than their own six legged prey. Now I really think we are working with the base of what Irken peepers likely developed out of. One of the ways they have really diverged off is in the fact that while jumping spiders can only move their retinas, irkens seem as though they are able to move the lens of the eye themselves- or at the very least, Zim does, else the false pupils in his disguise contacts would not behave quite so convincingly. To speak about the lenses themselves, their eyes are not dry and exposed like most arthropods, speaking to a vulnerable sensitivity. They clearly have blinking eyelids, shed tears, and Zim even complains about the “scratchy” feeling of getting used to that part of his kid disguise.

(Funny sidenote: I’m like 90% sure that Zim did not have those contact lenses designed correctly for himself. Usually, if contacts feel that uncomfortable and keep falling off of the eye as easily as his do, it’s a sign of them being poorly fitted. This could be another symptom of his outdated/lower quality invader tech.)

Not only do Irkens have an assumed base vision resolution that seems more or less on par with human beings, but Invader elites are fitted with ocular implants that grant them a significantly greater advantage in this realm. We don’t know to a certainty how well improved an Irken soldier’s vision is, but Zim was confidently able, within seconds and under pressure, to pick out the area of town he lived in from what was miles away under night hours.

On the topic of night vision, I have a hunch that even without the cybernetics, these guys are adapted to see much better than we in dim to dark environments as well. Most of the early part of their life cycle is lived out in subterranean crèches. On the surface, daytime Irk is cast in a sunset red atmosphere. Oddly, a massive portion of their fashion and architectural aesthetics show a preference for these dark, warmer tones. Ruby is far and away the most common eye color in their kind. All of these facts suggest that warm-spectrum hues and pigments were incredibly common in the homeworld’s history, to point of indicating something about a cultural attraction to them- kind of like how humans put the color blue all over so much corporate branding and elsewhere. Zim’s favorite color has also been revealed to be purple. Most of all, given what I’ve seen of Irk’s, Blorch’s, and Devastis’s surface skies, AND Zim’s reaction to staring directly at the sun for more than a few seconds, I’m assuming that most Irkens are wholly unfamiliar with living in an environment as brightly lit as midday Earth.

I do think Irken eyes “glow” in the dark, but not in the emitting sense. Just more in the reflective one. This they would owe to a well developed tapetum lucidum, as seen in cats and deer and pretty much any animal to give off an eerie eye shine under the right lighting. To point back to arachnids, wolf spiders are speedy nocturnal murder machines with highly developed tapetum lucida, in their secondary eyes, at least. What I love the most about that is it makes it very easy to tell if you’re looking at a mother spider because her babies will give off the same eyeshine if you take a pic of one with the flash on.

Additionally, I won’t forget that sleep is no longer a necessity for our alien subjects. This alone gives them a major edge over any dinural race such as humanity. While Zim has his appearances to keep up during the day, the nighttime on Earth is actually when he is allowed the most free rein to work on his endeavors uninterrupted.

Sound

Ah, so this is the part where I rattle off the common theories we’ve collectively formed about Irken antennae as the replacement for an external ear, eh? Yes, but actually no…. jokes aside, it’s just no. I’ll get to the deal with antennae, but as you might imagine, hearing ability also varies all over the place in the insect world.

It is true that antennae play a large role in the hearing of some critters, such as mosquitoes, whose males use them to pick out the high frequency wing beats of nearby females in a swarm. Crickets, on the other hand, use sensory organs on their legs tuned to much lower sound ranges. There’s no one way to evolutionarily put together a sort-of ear, as well proven by the sheer amount of times it convergently happened in bugs and in how many creative ways.

They literally be designing themselves like me playing around in spore. If we’re not talking about that mosquito or honeybee example, then what we are referring to as an ear and most hearing insects is going to be an external tympanic organ. Most people who have passed high school biology would be able to recognize a visible tympanum in frogs- that circular thing right behind the eyes in most species, and understand it as their version of an ear drum. Many bugs’ tympanums are likewise thin chitinous membranes situated… potentially just about anywhere on the body (again, see above). This is what I think Irkens use as a primary hearing organ, in his case, probably situated on their heads in addition to the feelers. The latter organs I think would also be sensitive to general vibrations and subtler environmental cues, like wind direction and pressure changes, but the bulk of their hearing would be owed to the tympanum.

As far as the quality of their hearing, well, there’s not any sign it differs much from the human experience. Like us, they communicate through verbal language, and the existence of the “Dancing Arcade Game (but for aliens)” confirms at least a similar cultural propensity for music as an entertainment form. Zim is an outlier for the fact that he seems genuinely a little hard of hearing next to his kin, screaming as naturally as he talks and repeatedly mishearing (if hearing at all) people who are speaking directly at him. It’s clear something’s up with his hearing, but there’s no clear answer what and why. At first I was tempted to suggest something about sound passing much differently through the medium of earth’s atmosphere (kind of like how noise on Mars would sound muffled to us), but neither Tak nor Skoodge seemed to pick up the problem when they arrived. It really could be as simple as some kind of birth defect, or even glitches in how his corrupted PAK is processing the inputs it receives. Like many others, I want to imagine that his wig could be interfering too, since it covers the whole top portion of his head; as well, I noticed he has more of those incidents with it on than not.

Smell

Alrighty, NOW we can round back to focusing on the antennae, because this is actually the main thing our insects fine tuned theirs for. And when I say fine tuned- I mean fine tuned. Blood suckers that find their prey through the CO2 of their breath, flies that can pick up on potential food sources from miles away; In the land of the little, scent is everything. Beyond it being their main tool for exploring the environment for what to eat and what to avoid, chemical messages are the backbone of bug-to-bug communication. Pheromones are the divining rod of lonely spiders looking for a mate. They are the bugle of yellow jackets when rallying the nest to attack a threat, and they are the signals that govern about every single action an ant takes from adulthood until death. Obviously, Irkens are much more sight & hearing dependent than these comparisons, but they still have much more bodily specialization dedicated to this sense than we can relate to. For one, they are fastidiously hygienic. Like, “the care-bots from that really creepy episode of the Buzz lightyear cartoon” hygienic. We have yet to see any livable surface of Irk that is not sky to underground terraformed over in all-consuming metal infrastructure. There’s less than no sign of visible life besides the Irkens; ffs, there’s not even soil in sight. Not on Devastis, either. The Organic Sweep sounds like such a nice and pretty euphemism in the face of the actual horror of Blorch’s fate, and all to spare the boots of their military from touching even a speck of “unsavory alien filth”. They live in such a controlled and purified environment that I can’t even imagine the absolute assault on the senses Zim’s every day on our barbaric ball of dirt is. Over and over again he gives off the impression that the constant stink of this place is in fact his chief complaint about living among us. The majority of insults he throws toward humans relate to how they smell or the fact that he finds them “filthy”. We’re flat out nasty to him and I don’t blame him. Even relative to other animals, humans are especially RANK due to the combination of sweat, oils, and bacteria that coat our skin.

And believe it or not, I do think Irkens are in a position to talk shit in this regard. Zim is a really sweaty boi; however, I posed an idea back in that write up about Irken skin before- to summarize- that his kind maintain remarkably sterile cuticles due to the presence of a toxic chemical in their skin. This, I said then, could have been the key to Zim’s lice repelling trait, but I wasn’t so specific at the time about more than that. I got the idea from a group of millipedes that, when disturbed, can secrete hydrogen cyanide as a deterrent to predators. I like to imagine that Irkens can do a similar thing via sweating, not to thermoregulate like us, but as a stress response. It would at least explain why Zim seems like a very nervous sweater. Fun fact if you didn’t know, cyanide’s smell is similar to almonds.

I’m deadass telling you I think Irkens just smell like almond extract. Do with that what you will.

Touch

So, in writing this whole whatever it be, this part was the trickiest to come up with any productive analysis on. I’ve already guessed at what I think Irken skin feels most like (spoiler: hairless caterpillars) in the analysis I referenced up top. Zim being able to pass himself off as a human under the examination of the Skool nurse points to an average body temperature somewhere around our own. What I did find interesting while rewatching the series though was the sheer amount of pain tolerance on these invaders, except in one way. Can I extrapolate this fortitude to Irkens universally? Probably not! Zim is a member of the most elite of the most highly trained members of Irk’s military. I wouldn’t take what a seasoned veteran can handle and assume that’s the human floor in a nutshell, but our invaders CAN tell us quite a bit about their ceiling… starting with the fact that these bastards are ridiculously heat resistant. Irkens are a durable race broadly, but their reactions to extreme temperatures strike me as jaw-droppingly underwhelming, if anything.

Irkens DON’T like being engulfed in flames. It’s still a painful experience to them, but seemingly the kind they can pretty much walk off as soon as it’s over. Through explosions and fire we have seen Zim (and Skoodge) survive in one piece. We’ve seen The Massive take a whole dip into a burning star with no ill effects to the crew within. Most amazing to me was the time in Battle of the Planets when Zim willingly piloted Mars into grazing by the Sun at close range while trying to evade Dib. Totally exposed driver’s seat and he was no worse for wear after this.

Further in the comics we see this touched on in the Zimvoid arc. Zib’s favorite method of torturing the Zims under his training program was to torch them at random for sadistic amusement. Quite interestingly, though, Number 2 implies that their bodies do actually adapt to this treatment over time! Theoretically, Zims further along in the program have become all but invulnerable to fire entirely.

On the other hand, one of the truly most painful things Zim has been shown to experience is to have his skin chemically burned. It’s a strange sort of irony that Earth’s water would prove to be an incapacitating force to them in place of any inferno. He’ll smash his skull into the Voot’s windshield with enough force to pop out an eyeball and it’s whatever. Plenty of other things hurt, but he can power through. You turn a shaken can of soda or a bottle of bbq sauce on him and he’s just left screaming on the ground or screaming and running away. Whatever brutal sort of training he had to go through off world, it didn’t prepare him for this.

Taste

The perceptive side of this I think may not be too hard to figure out. Irken food, as alien as its actual composition could be, has been shown to be heavily analogous to human junk food. I hesitate to call what Irkens are scarfing down “meals” in the proper sense, because I’ve noticed that neither Zim nor his kin intrinsically understand the concept. When he’s trying to blend in as a human being, he puts a LOT of bizarre effort into convincing us that he, just like you inferior creatures, TOTALLY eats “food” on a regular basis like a normal person. When Irkens eat their own products, it’s all and only “snacks”. What follows is the conclusion that their eating habits are not structured into any schedule and that Irkens instead graze throughout the day as they please- and even possibly that eating altogether is more a recreation to them, instead of a necessary function to sustain life. Some fans have speculated that the PAK could provide an Irken with all of the necessary energy to survive absent of nutrition. I kind of want to contest this, given that caloric energy is only one purpose of taking in food… but it’s definitely the most immediate one. Nonetheless, they still eat constantly on screen and it all has to be going somewhere. Whether they need it or not, they still readily digest snacks (and presumably use those chemical building blocks to regenerate tissue damage) with a terrifying metabolic efficiency. Assuming that the resemblance of their snack foods and our leisure treats are not purely coincidental, one gathers that sweetness is the largest dimension of Irken cuisine. They are drawn most enthusiastically to carb-dense synthetic, plant, and possibly fungal matter in the same way that the human brain lights up at the prospect of fat and sugar-loaded meals. The flexible tongues of Irkens to me also resemble the nectar catching, segmented mouthparts of some bees. I would be willing to bet that they can taste salt, but jury’s out if it is something they crave, like us, or are repulsed by, like ants. That would have to come down to the scarcity (or not) of the resource on their home planet and whether or not desiccation was a serious threat in their natural history. In other regards, Zim shows strong negative reactions to most Earth foods, if not physically, than in his expressions. They definitely have powerful vulnerabilities to many human ingredients, and so are very sensitive to the presence of these toxins. I can’t imagine acidic or bitter substances are at all pleasant to them.

Now comes the much more interesting question I’ve thought way too long and hard about in the shower a time or two. Knowing that Irkens are likely a herbivorous breed, ergo, thankfully would have no interest in the consumption of the human race… what about the vise versa??? I don’t just want to know what they taste, but what would they taste like?

So, you’ve decided to mix it up for the thanksgiving dinner and forgo the same boring old bird for an Irken you have vanquished (via what I can only imagine was a freaking miracle of luck). What should you come to expect? Most importantly and I must emphasize this, the secret to preparing their meat is the same as Tolkien dwarves, you have to skin them before anything else. The separation of edible tissues from the cuticle is necessary to avoid ingesting the defensive toxins it contains. Even if the concentration is not enough to provide a danger to you, it could end up contributing an unpleasant, bitter flavor to the final product.

That done, discard the head and digestive organs. True as it may be that Irkens are wholly free of parasites, with a chance that the viscera could be edible, it’s not likely to taste that great and besides, do you really want to take chances with exposing yourself to an entirely foreign gut biome you have no immune adaptations to? And don’t even think about the brain- I don’t care how rare the infection rates are, alien prions are a big no. If you happen to run into any cybernetic implants during the cleaning, however, set them aside! They could be worth a small fortune in the right circles. But, for the purpose of eating we’re really concerned with the muscle tissues, a delicate white meat with a texture similar to fresh crab. The bones need not be wasted, and are fine to leave in, or can be boiled on their own to make a flavorful stock which can be added to soups or a delightful gravy. A surprisingly practical use of Irken bone could also be in the compost bin, being rich in chitosan and other powerful garden fertilizers. The flesh can do well fried, or roasted to a crispy exterior. The oven rule is the same as chicken, low and slow, to prevent drying out. Don’t be afraid to experiment with the gravy idea or marinades. The flavor profile of the meat itself would be utterly unique from what most of us are used to, comparable to a nutty crayfish. Savory, a bit of a sweetness, and a mineral hint that pairs quite well with mushrooms or rice.

I can’t recommend serving this to any guests with shellfish allergies in good conscience. If they insist, do so in caution and with knowledge of the risk of cross reactivity.

And there you have …. certainly a thing I did write and queue up for y’all!

#invader Zim #iz #irkens #iz analysis #iz headcanons #cool bug facts #insects #speculative biology #hear me out #it’s not cannibalism if it’s interspecies #I apologize for writing this while hungry #scarlet talks about things #scarlet really should have eaten breakfast today #also happy thanksgiving????#cw arachnid #long post

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owlespresso · 7 months

Text

Wrangle. Jing Yuan.

Tags: yandere themes, dark content, abuse of power, mother hen Jing Yuan, forced caretaking

You hate Jing Yuan.

He is at the helm of the Xianxhou, their beloved general. What he does with you should be considered treasonous, looked down on by his peers. Reviled by his subjects. He should leave you in the depths of the Shackling Prison to rot like the petty criminal you are.

But he does not. He pries you from your cell (pries you away the ironclad grip you have on your cot, finger-by-finger), heaves your scraggly body into his arms like you weigh nothing. You struggle, but it’s pathetic. A few days of continuous hunger has robbed you of your strength. It makes it all too easy for him to carry you down long corridors and up flights of stairs, branching and seemingly endless.

The first rays of sun you have seen since your capture make you cringe. You turn your face into his shoulder, breathe the scent of freshly washed linen and armor polish. He chuckles, the sound deep and warm.

Jing Yuan brings you home, to a sprawling estate behind carved walls of stone. The sound of the gates shutting sends you into another fit, beginning to wriggle in his arms. He’s brought you here to be his pet, his slave, his toy—he’s going to do horrible things to you here, away from the prying eyes of the populace where no one will hear you. No one will help you.

“Please—I have no intent to harm you—” Jing Yuan attempts to bargain. He thrusts you away from his (strong, big) body, hands hooked under your arms. You shout and continue to wriggle.

“Stop, stop, please stop—just let me go—” someone is speaking, and you don’t even realize it’s you until your throat throbs, dry with disuse. Is that what you sound like? After only a few days? The wind goes out of you and you slump, allowing him to draw you back into his grasp. He holds you close to his chest, one arm under your thighs and the other behind your back.

“It’s going to be alright,” he soothes, cooing indulgently. “I know the Shackling Prison gave you a poor first impression, and for that I apologize. I’ve given you no reason to trust my word alone… but no further harm will come to you while you are under my roof.”

You feel the rumble of his voice more than you hear it. You peek up at the estate proper from where you’ve buried your face into his shoulder. It’s bigger than anywhere you have ever lived. The kind of luxurious you have only seen on screens and rarely in magazines. Some civilizations have disregarded the printed word entirely. Distantly, you remember the smell of the newspaper, new ink on thin paper.

And then you fall asleep. Just like that. Tucked up against him.

When you wake, your skin is clean and your raggedy prison garb has been replaced by soft robes.

Jing Yuan reserves a level of generosity for you that you are not worth—greets you with painkillers and relief at seeing you awake in hand.

“It would be both a blatant waste and a moral crime to let you waste away in the Shackling Prison.” he tells you, and explains little else. If he had not intervened, you would have remained in prison until you rotted and died. The officials who run that steel fortress of pain and torment are far beneath his station. None care that the vaunted Jing Yuan has plucked one of their least wanted, least dangerous criminals from the nest. You are his ward, now, a protected person who is recuperating under his generous care.

Whether you want it or not. You don’t need his charity, you insist. You would rather die than depend on someone else’s handouts.

“Hm,” he said, not cold or enraged but disappointed. “Is that so? How unfortunate. I wonder what kind of life you have led to make you draw such a despondent conclusion. You don’t have to tell me—” he says hurriedly, as soon as he sees you open your mouth to reply.

I wasn’t going to, you think, pissed off. It’s probably for the better that he cut you off. You probably would have said something you regretted.

“Worry not. You will have plenty of time to adjust. And learn. For now, just focus on your recovery.”

There has to be something to it, you think. Something he wants. Some sort of trick he’s going to pull. Some deranged, awful thing he’s going to do that you will be powerless to stop.

The room he settles you in is too large and the bed is too comfortable. You sink into the cushiony mattress and stare at the yawning void of the chamber, convinced that he will come through those doors at any given moment to take what he’s wanted all along. You eat one meal a day at most, sleep for no more than four hours. Dreams and visions haunt you deep into the night—and in the dark is the only time you truly feel safe, sheltered and mothered by shadows.

It’s at night that Jing Yuan at last finds you. You scuttle from corner to corner to avoid his detection and fail miserably. He scoops you up easy, in an unsettling echo of when he first crossed your path. You bat at him and caterwaul and put up a fuss until you can’t any longer, energy sapped from your unfed form as he hauls you to another room—

There is no punishment. He pets at your hair and coos and runs his hand over your back as you sniffle and sob, wet his sleepshirt with your frustrated tears. Later, then, he feeds you by hand, and doesn’t let you leave his lap until you’ve cleaned your plate. It’s awful. It’s humiliating. He watches you take every bite and praises you ceaselessly whenever you swallow. You slump into his chest, more exhausted by the meal then anything that occurred prior.

You hate him. You hate him. You hate him.

He spends every meal with you. He explains the basic mechanics of qi, smiles indulgently when you bother to thoughtlessly slide a random piece forward. He gives you tips, fingers brushing over the back of your hand as he positions your pieces in example. You hardly pay any attention to the formation he’s showing you, knowing you’ll forget it within the hour. To his credit, he doesn’t object when you push yourself to your feet, declaring that this game of wits has tired you out for the evening. You return to your room and ball your hands into fists, punch your pillows because hitting the wall will inevitably attract his attention.

You hate him because he is so kind. You hate his clean hands and his warm arms and the low, coaxing timbre he uses whenever he talks to you, like you’re some scared, cornered animal.

You hate yourself more for how tempted you are to give in.

#jing yuan #jing yuan/reader #hsr/reader #honkai star rail/reader #yandere jing yuan #hungering for hsr #oz write

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figgrrr0 · 1 year

Text

(Link to the prompt)

I hope it’s not too long, please enjoy! 🩷

Want to skip the lead up? Look for the NSFW sign that marks the smut!

Chance encounters

Character: Sub!Tighnari

Reader: Dom!Fem, nymph/dryad

Genre: Smut // CW: Blowjob, vaginal fingering + penetration, praise + teasing, tiny bit of voyeurism/F!masturbation, bondage, creampie, love confessions

Plot: Yes // Word count: 8.6k

Torrential rain and a blustering gale: these are what the rainforest has known for the past few days, almost a week. It happens every now and then, unfortunately. A land, so peaceful and quiet, so reliant on itself that it can easily support those who choose to inhabit the place, entirely up-heaved and destroyed. Forced to seek help from the people it proudly protects. All because of just a bit of water...

Okay, well... it may have been more than just a bit of water. More like a tremendous amount; certainly more than the land of Sumeru had seen in the past decade, at least.

During these drastic conditions, it's far too dangerous for anyone to venture outside.

Too dark to see what lies ahead on the path -if you can even find the path in the first place-, too loud to hear when anyone calls out to you for help or to attain your whereabouts, and so windy that at any moment you may just get whacked in the face by a stray log. Of course, of that were to happen, you'd either pass out and risk hypothermia, or just have a new story to complain about and maybe a way to start a fire and prevent said hypothermia. Nature provides and all that...

That being said, the storm has raged on for longer than anyone had expected. The rangers of the forest have been made to wait in suspense for when the storm will finally fade, if only for a few hours, so that they can have the chance to check out the lay of the land, and see what changes or blockades have been added to the forest's paths.

However, no one's tension has been held at bay for as long as Tighnari's.

Slinking through the maze of a forest once so familiar, now twisted and disfigured into strange obscurity, Tighnari takes note of everything he can see. Branches snapped and hanging low, as if they were reaching to find stability in the roots and vines layering the ground floor. Large, flooded puddles, which flow down the paths and into the strewn undergrowth, creating rivers and streams of their own. And, most disheartening to the ranger, the different assorted flowers and fauna of the forest, all tangled and mangled, and those are only the ones that survived the unending attack of the wind.

Regardless of his own personal feelings about the damage, Tighnari ignores his want to use his dendro vision to bring some life back to these plants and flowers, continuing on his trek, for he knows that something much more vulnerable calls for his attention:

The young saplings.

Those trees had been planted close to 8 years ago, and had been growing well. Already, they were quite a bit taller than Tighnari himself, which isn't saying much, he himself would readily admit. But there's simply no way for them to have survived that massive storm and have stayed standing. It's impossible.

As he draws near to the grove where they'd been planted, Tighnari's ears snap to attention and his eyes flicker in each direction.

There's an intruder in the forest. Someone he'd never seen, heard, or smelled here before.

It wasn't a traveller, or someone who lived near the forest or the city, for none of them would come out in the aftermath of the storm, leaving the comfort of their warm, toasty houses, and trading it for the murky air of damp soil and sodden grass. It wasn't another ranger, for Tighnari had made sure to warn them not to leave the safety of their lodgings, and they wouldn't want to anger him. He could be uncharacteristically cold when he was irate, especially when his orders were directly gone against. No-one wanted to sit through another of Tighnari's lectures.

Opting to investigate further, Tighnari crouches down next to the bushes that line the square patch of land that had been cleared of brambles and the like, in order to make space for the growing trees. The bushes, whose branches and leaves stick out every which way, still dripping the drops of rain that weigh them down, provide the head forest ranger optimum cover to see without being seen. And what he saw surprised him.

A girl- no, a woman, one unlike any he had ever seen before, knelt in the middle of the clearing, amidst the fallen and snapped saplings. Seeming not to notice the new set of eyes watching her every move, or so he thought, the woman placed a gentle hand to the sapling she knelt to, humming a soft tune. It sounded familiar to the ranger, though he couldn't remember from where before he had heard it.

Interrupting his thoughts was a quick burst of green light that shot up the body of the small, broken tree. Before he could properly react (or even think of what his reaction should have been), the tree springs to life, growing rather taller than it had been originally, before the dreaded storm, and even sprouting new, verdant looking branches with leaves to match.

Tighnari was awestruck.

Not because this was unusual. Well, it was, to some degree. It was rare for a vision holder to have such an impressive level of control over their power, especially for it to work so fast! But what was even more impressive, however confusing and perhaps worrying, was that the mysterious woman held no vision on her frame.

He analysed her unusual garb in the fastest manner that he ever had done before, eyes roving over each buckle or strap, each fold in clothing or closed pocket, but, ultimately, he found none. Nor were there any distinguishing marks of who this woman was, or where she had come from. In fact, all clues pointed to quite a curious conundrum for the forest ranger: it seemed as though she had simply appeared out of nowhere. Or maybe, just maybe, she lived here. Here, in the Avidya forest, right under his nose all along.

But that obviously couldn't be. Could it? Surely he hadn't overlooked any of the signs of human life in the forest. Someone unaccounted for. Though, that being said, he wouldn't hold himself too at fault for that.

She blends in perfectly with the surroundings of the forest, her clothing seeming to be made less of actual cloth and more so of softened bark and large leaves, pulled together by twine made of vines. As such, she even smells exactly like the forest. Of course he wouldn't be able to sense her. He gets the feeling she has been here for a long time, and, as such, is very good at staying hidden. Except for today.

Suddenly, the woman rises from her kneeling position, not a hint of dirt staining her knees, despite the wet, squelching mud that splashes everywhere with every step. You'd expect someone who lives in the forest to be at least a bit dirty. But from what he can tell, this woman isn't. Not a speck of grime anywhere on her person. He wonders how it's possible.

Still, with her back to him, his thoughtful stupor ends and he shakes his head side to side, as if to physically disperse the rushing thoughts from his mind, in order to take the situation seriously.

He still had to find out who she was, why she was here right after such a terrible storm, if she needed any help, and, for selfish reasons, perhaps, how she was able to use her magic with no vision to be seen.

"I can sense your presence, fox." Her voice is soft, little more than the hum that sounded from her but a minute before. Even so, it still serves to startle Tighnari, who freezes on the spot, a hand quickly reaching for his bow.

"There will be no need for that." The woman turns to look at him over her shoulder, "I mean no harm to you nor these precious saplings. I merely want to see them grow and flourish." Despite not being able to see him through the brush, she knows he is there. Lifting a hand, she waves him over, the other on her hip.

He obeys, unconsciously ignoring his rational mind in favour of following his more baser instincts. And his instincts are drawn to her, begging him to follow.

He steps out from the bush and into the clearing. No cover. No weapon in hand. No idea who -or perhaps, what- he is talking to.

"Where do you come from, outsider?" Tighnari can't help but sound defensive. He's never encountered this situation before, and he'd never been prepped for the risk of an unknown magical being randomly showing up. He had no idea what to do.

"Outsider? Why, I rather think you are the outsider here, ranger. My kind looked over this forest long before humans took over the land." Despite her lecturing tone, her face displayed no difference from before, still a totally composed and calm slate of indifference. Though, her voice held more than enough conviction. Tighnari knew instantly that her words were true.

With a twitch of an ear and a quiet sigh, his hand comes up to awkwardly rub the side of his neck, pressing into and smoothing over his scent gland. Since coming in close proximity of the woman, there's been an incessant niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he'd found something he'd been missing. There was something familiar, something soothing about the air around this woman, and his body wanted her to stay close.

He didn't understand it. He'd never felt this before, this strange thought that she was important- that he wanted her to be his.

Taken aback by his own thought process, Tighnari rubs his hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose in the process. While usually directed towards the other rangers or travellers who get in the way or make common mistakes, today, it was pointed at himself.

Shifting his body weight onto the other leg, he started, "hmm... okay then, care to kindly explain how you fixed this tree then? That was some mighty impressive workmanship with that vision." He knew she had no vision. This would either make her reveal her true nature, or she'd try to lie (and hopefully fumble while doing so). Either way, Tighnari was sure he'd learn something about her.

"The people of Avidya Forest who hold a vision to their name do everything they can to do their part in the upkeep of the forest. As an extension of the forest itself, I show my gratitude by furthering the progress along." She gestures in a fluid motion towards the few trees she'd already prompted to regrow. "I have no need for a vision. The essence of the forest guides my hand."

Never mind. She'd evaded that quite well.

At this point, Tighnari was getting impatient. He didn't enjoy being toyed with when he held barely any understanding of the situation. Although, as he'll think to himself later in the night, within the solitude of his own lodging back at camp: he didn't mind the secrecy nearly as much as he would have if it had been anybody else dancing around his questions. The woman, as infuriating as she was being in the moment, was graceful and gentle in movement, and held a great peace within herself. He could tell that much, at least.

She was powerful, yet quaint. Quiet, yet commanding. She understood far more than she let on, and yet she didn't feel dangerous as many others would.

"Well then, why show yourself now? After all these years of hiding?"

"I grow tired of your accusations. I come only when the forest needs me, and she was calling." At this, steeling her face with resolution, she turns around and begins walking away, her strides even and calculated in a way that will carry her away from the situation quickly.

"H-hey! Wait!" Tighnari launches forward a few feet, almost reaching out to grab her, before catching himself and deciding against it. But the further she gets, the faster his heart beats against the cage of his ribs. He wanted to chase her down, to satisfy his underlying craving to claim her.

Why can't he seem to control himself around her?

The woman stops at his plea, though she doesn't turn to face him again. She stares straight ahead, ready to take off further into the woods the moment she gets the chance.

"What have you done to me? What part of your... magic has caused this?"

She smirks, her voice carried by the wind, "Nothing more than your nature calls for."

Tighnari feels as though he is stuck to the spot as she leaves, not even sparing him a glance before turning behind a tree, completely out of sight.

As soon as she is gone, he gets a feeling that she is truly... gone. The air smooths over, the world around him starts moving again, and, for the first time since seeing the woman, he can finally relax completely.

He heads back to the main path, collecting his wits and preparing to head back to the ranger camp. Just as he is about to leave, his breath is stolen from him. There is a distinct, deep feeling of foreboding driving through him. He looks back into the clearing, unsure what he is going to see...

Nothing except all of the once-fallen trees, standing tall, healthy and strong.

Otherwise, there is no trace of the woman.

...

3 months later, Tighnari is going about his regular business. Walking the forest pathways and surrounding areas, he searches for anything amiss. Though he can't help but let his mind wander to the woman he has come to know since their chance encounter, deeper in the forest.

Y/N, despite their uncomfortable first meeting, has come to show herself to Tighnari multiple times since that day, even going so far as to join him on his watch duty most days. Despite him acting as though he didn't want the help, he knew that she wasn't actually there to help him at all. What he didn't know, was why.

They had shared little of their memories and past life experiences with each other (though not due to a lack of trying on Tighnari's part).

They'd be having quite the long conversation when they didn't need to be quiet so Tighnari could hear any disturbances in the nearby undergrowth. Learning something new from each other or laughing at jokes, and Tighnari's occasional sarcastic responses.

Just when Tighnari felt the pull of growing closer to her, just when he'd gather the confidence to actually ask her something about herself, or try to coerce her into revealing something -anything- about her nature, about who or what she is (because she obviously wasn't human or hybrid like him) she'd shut down completely.

Every time, she'd either go silent, making their easy conversation devolve into something awkward, or she'd answer with some tale she'd spun up out of thin air, the likes of which Tighnari was forced to try and pick apart late into the night. His mind fumbled and reached to create any semblance of surety when it came to Y/N, trying to piece together the threads of her disjointed stories.

He was getting tired of it.

Now, don't get him wrong. Tighnari had no problem talking to and working with people -apart from when they slowed him down, or made needless mistakes, or made decisions without checking with him first... the list goes on. But he never really... connected with them, in a sense. He never made strong connections with any of them.

But with Y/N, he wanted to.

Distracted and stuck in his thoughts, Tighnari is suddenly surprised by the sound of footsteps a few feet behind him. He turns swiftly, pulling out his bow and aiming at the figure behind him, but almost immediately he lets out an audible sigh of relief. It's just Y/N. Had she sensed him thinking about her? Is that a thing?!

Tighnari calms himself before she notices his upped heartbeat or the slight blush coating the apples of his cheeks. She had a tendency to sneak up on him like this. 'The air of mystery' and all that.

Realistically, Tighnari should've expected this. And to some degree, he had. This has become such a regular occurrence that he often expected this more than he expected the other rangers to do their job right.

Could you tell he'd been strung a bit tight the past few weeks?

Y/N could; and she used this knowledge against him to the best of her ability.

Taking no notice to the fact that he'd been about to shoot her in the face with an arrow, Y/N moved forward to settle into stride beside him, giving him no greeting other than a little wave.

Even though she'd softened her exterior in his presence more recently after growing accustomed to his company, she still wasn't very well acclimated to... being social. She could be awkward at times, but it allowed Tighnari to focus on his duties with her at his side, which he supposes is a good thing, really. He'd hate to have to ask her to leave, especially when he'd only met her because she decided to let him see her.

Plus, she could be quite stubborn when she felt like it, just like the sturdy trees that she protected. One time, she'd even claimed, "Nature and I are one and the same." Of course, he didn't take her literally. She's not a tree... Right?

Honestly, he's not so sure at this point, but if he asked her straight on, she'd probably just say something along the lines of, "I spend my entire life taking care of the trees. Is there anything else to me, other than trees? Not really. So I guess, maybe I am a tree."

Now, this may sound kind of silly, but sometimes she was just so clueless about the things he tried to talk about. If this was all an act, it was very convincing. She acted as if she'd never ventured beyond the border of the treeline.

It made him want to protect her. He wanted to keep her safe, teach her the comfort of human commodities and interaction. But, most of all, he couldn't help the blazing want to touch her, to hold her, to finally know her.

"You're late."

"Huh?" He looks to her, confused.

Instead of answering, Y/N strides forward as they come to a fork in the road, already knowing which route Tighnari scouts.

Tighnari hastens his pace to keep up with her. "What do you mean?"

She stops dead in her tracks, spinning to face him and planting her hands on her hips. He felt as though she was looking down on him.

"Every day I wait for you at our spot, and you're always there within two hours of starting your shift." Her head tilts almost accusingly, tone darkening, "I came to see what was taking you so long. Do you know what I saw, Tighnari?"

Heart rate rapidly rising, Tighnari tightens his hold on his bow, growing nervous. He couldn't think of anything he'd done wrong, though he would admit he'd been a bit slower than usual. He was waiting to see if she'd catch up with him, dragging his feet a little on the way. He wanted to know if she'd seek him out, if she'd worry about him... if she really cared.

"...What did you see, Y/N?" He hadn't meant to, but his voice naturally took on a sarcastic cadence. He'd probably pay for that later. She never seemed to let him get away with being rude to her... he wasn't in a rush to give in and say he liked it.

"I saw you, looking behind yourself every ten seconds, almost tripping over own tail and falling into every other bush." Crossing her arms, a hand lifted and framed her face, a nail pressing into the plush of her lips as she spoke. "It makes me wonder... who could captivate the ever-resilient head ranger so much as to make you lose focus like this?"

Tighnari blanched. Had she noticed? He would be the first to admit that he hadn't been particularly caring towards hiding his near-obsession with this woman he'd met in the forest. But he certainly didn't want to be called out on it. He supposed, now was the time to take a page from Y/N's book; he was going to ignore the implications she'd thrown.

"How did you see me? I didn't hear you at any point, I would've noticed."

Her prominent gaze softened as her eyes met his own slightly frantic ones. She seemed to deflate, giving up on teasing him with an discreet sigh; one that he heard, nonetheless.

He felt as though he'd missed something... had she just given away a huge hint as to who she was and he'd completely missed her meaning? He couldn't tell. But, regardless, he was annoyed with himself. He knew he hadn't played into her games the way she'd wanted.

Stagnating into an awkward silence (which was becoming all the more common between them), they continued on with the patrol, stopping every now and then when Tighnari heard some suspicious noise, which usually ended up being nothing. This went on until the sun started retiring, when the skies lit aglow with the blazing embers of sunset, painting an intricate depiction of warmth, the antithesis of the cold night that would follow.

As of now, the tension between the two was at a standstill... it either had to dissipate, or be pushed over that last edge for them to continue on, to whatever their future may hold for them... Tighnari hoped it happened soon.

...

Finally, Tighnari's shift was over. Traversing the path back to his base camp, he was halfway surprised that Y/N remained behind him. Usually by now, she'd have disappeared without a trace before they got this close to his home. For what reason, he didn't know. But it always made him feel saddened.

Did she not want to stay with him? To learn about his home space and his interests, without having the meandering conversations that she so liked to weasel herself out of?

It often worried him, that perhaps he'd gotten too involved, too interested in this woman, when she barely reciprocated any advances he tried to make. But when he looked back on their interactions later, he realised that she had been sharing the moment and making her own subtle advances... Or so he thought. It was hard to tell.

Like when she'd reach out to ruffle his hair and play with his ears (a privilege no-one else shared -except maybe sometimes Collei), and after they parted ways, he'd find little leaves clinging to the strands or falling behind him.

While he was hesitant to touch her, afraid that it'd be stepping over her boundaries, she did so to him whenever she felt the need, which, surprisingly, was quite often. He'd catch himself staring when he thought her to be looking away, and seconds later she'd be pressing against his side, a sly smile giving away that she likely knew what he was thinking.

How, he'd like to know. For even he wasn't sure what he was thinking, becoming so enamoured with a spirit of the forest who never makes things as easy as they could be. Nor did he know how it happened so fast.

Approaching the entrance of his abode, he turns to invite her inside, only to find her having already vanished.

Feeling defeated, Tighnari lets out a terse sigh. Just like always...

Shaking off the cloud of disappointment, he pushes past the door, shrugging off the equipment he'd been carrying and placing them on a bench near the doorway.

A good cup of tea sounded like just what he needed right now...

As such, he steadily makes his way to his kitchen area, lighting a few candles and lanterns to light his way.

Only, he doesn't quite make it to the teapot.

Sitting in his usual chair is Y/N, sitting there, looking quite comfortable, sipping on a cup of tea.

Despite the fact that she must've teleported and trespassed in order to have already been in his home, it does amuse him that they'd had the same idea as to how to wind down. And he couldn't find it in himself to really be irritated with her actions, even if they were somewhat (or completely) rude. He was going to invite her in, anyway.

"Making yourself at home, I see." It's a clipped statement, though he isn't upset. Pulling over a new chair, he joins her, finding that she'd already poured him a cup and set it down to cool on the table beside.

"Yes." She takes a sip. "Your tea leaves were dried, so I freshened them up a bit. I thought you'd appreciate the added flavour." She looks to him with a calm smile.

Looking into the cup he's holding, he can see that indeed, the concoction is of a lighter, more honeyed shade than usual. It certainly looked more appealing. Or maybe that's just because he knows he'd like anything she made, especially if she made it with him on her mind.

"Ah, thank you. I don't get much of a chance to use them quickly, what with how often I'm outside." He raises the cup as a small toast with a tip of his head in thanks, to which she returns with a short, stifled laugh. He brings the cup to his lips, taking a sip.

It's no different than usual.

Huh... Well, that's disappointing. He'd been expecting some magical burst of flavour to overwhelm his tongue and make him see stars. Metaphorically, of course, though he would hardly complain if that really had happened.

Oh well. It's good tea either way, since it's a blend he already likes.

"Well? How is it?" Y/N prods, clearly excited for his praise that she is so sure is coming. She's even leaning forward slightly, he notices.

"Uhh..." He gulps, nervous. He doesn't want to make her feel bad, but Tighnari is anything but dishonest- unless he needs to be; which he doesn't. Not with Y/N.

"It tasted the same as usual..." He looks away while delivering the news, but looks back to her to garner her reaction, waiting to see if he needs to console her. She visibly deflates.

Oh no. That's not good.

Before he can say anything to try to backtrack, she composes herself, edging her chair closer to his and leaning over to lean both elbows on his armrest, looking directly into his eyes with an intense glow overtaking her features. Tighnari has to stop himself from leaning away in shock, not looking away.

"Would you like to taste mine instead? It must taste better than yours..." Her eyes slowly drift down to his parted lips, before dragging back up to his eyes again, not at all trying to hide her change of focus.

As he answers with a silent nod, unable to vocalise his reply, she lifts her cup to her own lips once more, taking a sip.

Then, instead of handing him the cup, she leans ever closer, snaking an arm around the back of his neck, and pulling him in to lock lips before he can even react. Not that he'd stop her, he'd been wanting this for too long...

Suddenly, a steady stream of warm tea enters through his lips, transferred from her mouth to his waiting tongue. The flavour and the feel of her tongue sliding against his alone is enough to make him moan out, the noise muffled by Y/N's kiss.

Oh, Archons, was she right. The flavour is nothing like he had ever tasted before. He could easily get addicted to this. The sweetness was amplified, hints of different berries and fruits mixing together perfectly in the dance of their swirling tongues. The aftertaste giving way to a deep, heady, rich taste of which even Tighnari couldn't place, but it reminded him of the smoke from a campfire, that satisfied feeling after a hard day of work when you knew the rest of the day consisted of nothing but comfort and ease. He couldn't get enough.

This was just another reason to keep Y/N around. Not that he needed any other reasons.

Almost forgetting that he needs to breathe, Tighnari chases after her when she pulls away, creating a short distance between them. After such a long wait, Tighnari can't handle being separated from her again so soon.

Their heavy breaths mix together, both transfixed by the situation they've gotten stuck into, neither wanting it to end.

"Any better?" She reaches the arm she had holding him close up to stroke over his ears soothingly, enjoying the feel of his soft fur beneath her scratching nails.

"So much better..." Tighnari pants in response, unable to drag his gaze from her wet lips, a drop of the tea sliding down her chin from the corner of her mouth. If she notices, she doesn't seem to mind.

In fact, little does he know, she had noticed. But instead of fixing it, she wanted to see how he'd react, what he'd do.

Thinking no further, Tighnari leans forward once again, pressing his tongue against the droplet before it can travel any further, and following the trail it had left behind up to her lips, returning to their make out session.

Pulling away soon after and standing up with no preface to the action, Y/N pulls Tighnari up by taking hold of his wrist, leading him through his house and into his room. How she knew the way, he had no idea, as she'd never been here before, as far as he knew. But he wasn't too interested in why or how, and it wasn't too surprising considering his home wasn't a big place.

Bursting through the door, not bothering to close it, the two make their way to the bed, never once leaving the other untouched in some way. Their mingled panting and heaving breaths surround them, pulling them both further into the fantasy building up around them; a place in time where they're the only ones who matter.

Swapping positions, Y/N pushes Tighnari none too gently onto the bed, his elbows reaching back to catch him before he falls all the way down. As she begins climbing on after him, he takes the initiative, making space for her by moving further back on the bed, finally settling against the pillows.

Y/N leans over him, her arms on either side of his body. Staring down at him and raving her lidded eyes over his entire body, her gaze settles onto the apex between his legs, the fabric tenting where his obvious arousal throbs in waiting.

She lets out a breathy chuckle, leaning down to give him a better view of her body and its accentuated curves; her ass up, back curving tantalisingly, and her face nuzzling against the side of his covered length.

"Hmm, you're ready for me, right, Tighnari?"

The teasing lilt to her voice sends shivers down the ranger's spine, his face and neck heating, and he has to resist the urge to thrust up against her face right there.

When he fails to answer, too focused on taking in the view of the woman between his legs, the one he'd come to love so quickly, she presses a harsh hand against his erection, grinding her palm down into the clothed appendage.

"AahN–ngH!?"

He chokes on a forced-out cry, huffing his breaths afterwards to recover from the unexpected pressure.

"What was that, 'Nari?"

Gathering his wits, he responds, "Y-yes, please, let me have you... Gods, Y/N..."

"...Good boy. That's exactly what I wanted."

With a mischievous grin tugging at her lips, Y/N presses Tighnari's knees apart with little resistance, making ample space to lower herself comfortably between his thighs, never once losing eye contact.

Unsure what to do with his hands, Tighnari restlessly presses them into the sheets to his sides. While distracted by looking at Y/N, he took no notice to the slight tickling sensation that took place around his wrists, only becoming confused and looking back when his arms were suddenly taken out from under him and tightly tied to the headboard of his own bed.

Vines, holding his wrists together and forcing him to lay completely at the mercy of the beautiful woman between his legs.

Giving him no chance to react, Y/N slides her hands up his thighs and slips them into the waistband of his pants. Biting her lip seductively, she winks at him, relishing in the gulp he takes in anticipation, and snaps the elastic back against his hip, making him flinch.

"Tell me, Tighnari..." She slowly smooths her hand over the soft skin of his abdomen, rubbing in wide sweeping lines and pressing down with her thumb. "Do you want my hand? Or my mouth?" She questions, making sure that the puffs of her breath land on his tented crotch, resulting in a low groan being released from his tight throat.

His face scrunches, resisting the need to pull against the vines holding his arms back. Feeling a bit embarrassed by how easily she took control of him, Tighnari tries to regain his sarcastic front. "Hahah... ah- why not both?"

"My, my, 'Nari... I hadn't taken you for the greedy type." She backs away, her shadow completely encompassing him as she rises. "I could always just leave you here, all alone, desperate for relief... tied up all night and begging for me when I decide to free you... oh, I don't know, say tomorrow afternoon?"

His eyes go wide in disbelief, but apart from that he doesn't answer. It's enough for Y/N. She knows she'd shut him up.

"See? It's not that hard to be good for me, is it? You just have to lay still and take whatever I give you."

Finally, her hands make their way to trace along the elastic of his pants once more. Instead of carrying on the teasing, because, admittedly, even she was getting a bit impatient by now, she begins pulling them down, making sure the fabric drags along the length of Tighnari's arousal, making him let out a hiss behind gritted teeth and clenched eyes.

Once his hard cock is released from its confines, his pants coming to rest above his knees, Y/N wastes no time in taking hold of the base and landing a kiss directly on the drooling tip. She laps up the salty substance, purposefully letting the lewd slurping sounds flow through the room. Already, Tighnari is letting out low moans that end in a whine, his hands tensing around the vines to ground himself.

Feeling all of the pleasure only on his sensitive cock head, he can't help but close his eyes and roll his head back onto the pillow, thighs tightening at the pleasure running through his body.

Keeping her movements slow, she proceeds to open her lips wider, allowing the tip of his dick to slide into her mouth before hollowing her cheeks as she begins to lightly suckle on him.

Green eyes fighting to stay open and ears twitching sporadically is what meets her gaze when she looks up to see him. He's overheating, she realises, when she sees the deep flush taking over his cheeks and neck, accompanied by the droplets of sweat dripping down the expanse of his throat. He's too excited, feeling too good to complain, to want to stop their actions in order to get more comfortable.

He never wants her to stop.

Taking pity on him, Y/N leans forward, taking the whole of his length into the tight suction of her wet throat and making Tighnari let out an obscene moan that devolves into a shuddering sob. Pulling back, she repeats the motion over, and over, and over again until his entire body tenses and the veins leading up the frame of his hard cock start to pulse against her quivering tongue.

On the next forward movement of her head, she reaches her hands up his body, pushing his shirt up to his chest and revealing his perky nipples. At the same time, the vines that were keeping his warm hands in their tight grip extended to slither their way up his wrists and into the gloves on his hands, working their way in and pushing them off of him to fall onto the bed at their sides.

She hoped that this was enough to let him cool down a bit, because she wasn't anywhere near done with him yet.

As his moans gradually staccato, each one growing higher and higher in pitch and turning to more of a whine, Y/N pulls off of him. Releasing his aching cock from the heat of her mouth, rivulets of spit and precum connect to the tip.

Confused and worried that she'll stop completely, Tighnari starts struggling against the restraining vines, whimpering and begging: "W-why? Y/N, please! Don't stop~!"

Sensing that he was getting overly worried and upset, Y/N started shushing him gently, using her spare hand to keep one of his legs pressed against her side to let him know that she was still there, that she wasn't leaving.

With the hand that had been holding the base of his dick in her tight grip, she starts stroking him with her hand, keeping up the fast pace that she'd made it to with her lips.

"Good boy, 'Nari. Good boy... Cum for me."

Only a few more strokes of her hand, and he did just that.

At first, only a few spurts of his thick white cum drooled from his slit, pooling down onto the hand still working his twitching cock. Once his orgasm was fully triggered, Y/N didn't stop her movements. If anything, her hand only got tighter and faster, prolonging his high until she got as much out of him as he could give.

The hot spend shot out of him quickly then, collecting in a drizzle down his dick, on his own thighs, on Y/N's hand and some on her face. All the while, she kept whispering, "Good boy... Good boy, 'Nari," on repeat as he shivered and convulsed in the aftershocks of his climax.

Once he stops cumming entirely, the pleasurable shock fizzling out into overstimulation, she drops him from her grip. He's still whining shakily, recovering slowly from the feel of it all, while Y/N scoops all of his cum that got onto her face into her mouth, sucking it off of her thumb and appreciating the viscous texture of his spend.

Taking the time to let him recover enough to continue for what she had planned, Y/N started taking off her own clothes, leaving herself dressed in nothing. While she was well accustomed to the weather and temperature characteristics of Avidya Forest, she couldn't help but be grateful for the colder than usual night, helping to cool her down and stop her from losing her head in the pleasure of finally having Tighnari; and letting him have her the way she knew he'd been dreaming of for months by now.

When Tighnari finally comes back to his senses, his heart beating in his throat and mouth open wide to allow for a steadier flow or air to make it into his rushing veins, his pulse instantly flares up again.

Y/N, having moved herself up to be near-straddling him, hovering just above the seat of his hips, was already looking right at him. She leans forward, pressing the warmth radiating from her chest closer to Tighnari's face as her hands wander down her frame, slowly but surely.

"Welcome back to the world of the living~" She jests, her tone breathy and interrupted by a moan as she leads her gentle hand down to her neglected core. Tighnari can do nothing but watch, pupils swallowing what is left of the colour in his irises, ears twitching forward in interest.

He actually wasn't out of it for long -probably barely even making it to a minute- but he didn't need to know that.

It was much too entertaining, watching his eyes regain just a smidge of recognition, before he descends back into the clutches of desire at hearing a wet 'squelch'.

When he looks back down from her face, her lips pulled into a sweet smirk, he inconspicuously licks his lips, not even trying to feign disinterest.

Her fingers, having at last made their way down between her own thighs, slid between the sticky lips of her desperate pussy, pressing on past the tender nub of her aching clit and spreading her lower lips enough to reveal her eager little hole, twitching and sore from being empty for so long, deprived of attention.

To Tighnari, it was another form of torture. Seeing her dripping pussy, clenching around nothing and begging to be filled, oh so close to his bare cock, yet just out of reach with nothing he can do about it. It was cruel.

He knew he could make her feel good, knew he could return the favour if only she'd let him. He let out a low growl just at the thought, his mind wandering between different scenarios of how he'd take her, bending her over and stuffing her full of him, leaving her bathing in his scent, finally marked as his. Or how he'd let her use him as she felt appropriate, whenever she wanted, how she could just jump on him out in the forest and make him submit to her, eagerly following her every command.

She notices that he's not all there with her, knows he's thinking up his own desires and situations that she'd gladly take him up on at some point. She allows him to continue, watching him enjoy the show she provides him with as she prepares herself for the stretch of his dick.

Getting lost in the pleasure she's giving to herself, Y/N forces herself to continue, bringing her fingers back to slide into her slick hole, letting out a mewl at finally getting some much-needed stimulation.

Tighnari bucks up at the sound, growling from deep within his throat and fangs showing from between his pulled back lips. His control wavers as he feels that tempting heat so close to his once-again hard cock.

He's writhing now, desperately trying to break free from the hold of the vines around his wrists, claws digging into them and leaving trails of dew and sap clinging to his arms. He'd even scratched up his bedpost where his hands had been fisting around the wood, shallow gashes marring the planks as he growls and whines and babbles about how, "I can make you feel so good! Please j-just let me go~", and, "just lemme fuck you already~"

Her free hand shoots forward to press into his cheeks, squishing them together with her nails digging in slightly, leaving pretty little crescents for her to admire soon after.

With his attention finally back on her (and not the her of his own mind-made fantasies), she corrects, "Oh, but 'Nari... we've waited for this moment for so long. What's another hour?"

He freezes completely, eyes wide and slack jawed. With a shaky voice, he lets out in almost a squeak, "an hour?!"

Choosing to ignore him and letting her hand drop from his face, she trails her hand down his jaw, his neck and all the way down to his collar bones, where she intermittently taps along the path that they make along his chest. With each tap, Tighnari flinches, before her hand finally comes to a standstill. Looking down at her hand, he waits a few moments for her to do something. A few more moments. And a few more.

Still, nothing.

Confused, Tighnari looks up to Y/N's face, finding her looking straight at him, eyes deep and dark. Nervous and still feeling impatient about wanting to finally be inside of her, his tail starts swishing underneath him, tickling her knees. She pays this no mind.

"You can wait, Tighnari. Can't you? You can be good."

It feels less like a question than it does a command, but either way it serves to settle him down.

With both of them being relaxed again, Y/N slowly returns to where they left off, two fingers sliding into her dripping hole as she leans back far enough for Tighnari to see everything. As she stretches herself out, letting out low moans and breaths as she paces herself, Tighnari continues to whine at each wet push and pull of her fingers and shudder as the smell of her building arousal takes over the room.

As she gets closer to her high, the coil in her core tightening further with each thrust of her fingers and each shortened breath, she pulls her own hand away with a discontent gasp. Letting out unsteady puffs of air, she leans her head back and let's herself adjust to the loss of her high, the heat inside of her only growing with need.

During all of this, Tighnari drinks in the view, uncontrollably bucking his hips every now and then, but staying quiet so as not to disrupt the show. But he couldn't help the excitement growing behind his wide eyes.

This meant that she was ready for him. That she wanted to cum on him. With him.

At long last, she takes hold of Tighnari's cock, rock-hard and dripping, and carefully aligns it with her pulsing hole. She hesitates for a moment, and Tighnari holds his breath. But it was only a moment.

And then she drops.

Wasting no time to surprise the ranger beneath her, she lowers herself in one sure movement, ass flush against his shivering thighs.

Neither bothering to bite back their unabashed moans, their voices mix together in the humid air, rejoicing in finally being together, in having each other.

Staying still, allowing both to adjust to the heat, to the pulses, to the suction, to the stretch, Y/N leans forward, her arms locking behind Tighnari's neck and chest pressing to his, sharing the heat and sweat as their fluids mix together, as they become one.

Looking deep into his eyes, once he relaxes enough, she moves. And then he is tensing once again.

His hands lock against the headboard, claws digging deeper than before, shredding and tearing into the wood as if he were a trapped animal, desperate to escape, when that couldn't possibly be further from the truth.

Well, not exactly. He absolutely wanted to be rid of the vines which still held him prisoner, wanted to touch Y/N, wanted to grip her hips and sink his claws into her, to taste her and feel her and truly have her. All of her.

Her hips, never stopping in their movements, lift up and then descend with a loud, repeating slap that resounds around the room, coming back around and echoing into their ears and giving the illusion that everything was happening so much faster than it was. It made everything so much more real. Proved to Tighnari once and for all that this was really happening, driven home by the obscene smacking of her hips against his own, spreading and smearing their sticky, combines juices. It stuck to both of their thighs, and more of the thick, white mixture constantly dribbled out around his drenched cock on each outward pull from her pussy, eagerly sucking him back in.

Taking her lips into a heated kiss, Tighnari intertwines his tongue with hers, swallowing each other's moans as if they truly cared whether anyone heard them.

Separating for air, Y/N's face comes to rest in Tighnari's shoulder, licking the side of his neck -his scent gland-, simultaneously scratching the itch there and making it worse. Her satisfied moans play on repeat in his mind, getting high on the mumbled and hurried "Good boy, doing so good, you feel so good~!"

With tears in his eyes, not far from trickling down his cheeks and leaving pitiful tracks, Tighnari sobs: "Pl- ahhn~! Please lemme touch you!" His head throws back onto the pillows, back arching as his stomach tightens, "Wanna cum inside you! Please l-let me! Wanna hold you, please~!"

Catching her breath a bit, Y/N leans back to sit up on his hips, still riding him at her own pace -even if it had accelerated a bit since they'd started.

"Awhh... but, do you really deserve it, 'Nari?"

His head nods almost aggressively, little "Mhm! Mhm!"s shooting from him without control.

"Well... I'll let you go, and you can cum inside of me, if... you tell me how long you've wanted me." Her nails trail down his chest, lightly scratching him, leaving red trails that only serve to heighten his pleasure and make his eyes flutter.

"Ahn~ Ahh- since we met 'n the forest- mmh!" His hips jerked, seemingly at the memory, disrupting her pace and making her groan as she was pushed to sit further down on him, pushing him deeper, before picking the pace back up to what it had been.

"Yeah?" She huffed, her eyes squeezing shut as she grew closer to her peak. "When was that?"

"A-after the storm! Nngh~ Ah- I've wanted you since I first saw you!"

"Well then..." She leans down to whisper sensually in his ear, grinding her hips harder against his as she took him to the base, "the feeling's mutual. I must admit, 'Nari, that was a cute confession~"

Suddenly, Tighnari's arms were dropped from their position held behind his head, and as soon as he realised he had control over where he could put them, they instantly gravitated to take hold of Y/N's hips. Instead of trying to take control of the pace she'd set (not that he had the mental capacity to even consider it, at this point), he used the strength he had left to help her come down on him harder, taking some of the strain off of her legs, which were starting to grow tired.

Feeling him start to pulse and twitch inside of her tight, gripping walls, Y/N calls out to him, "Good boy... cum in me, 'Nari. Cum inside 'f me, I wanna feel you dripping out 'f me in the morning~"

At that, with his natural instincts telling him to mark her with his scent, to breed her, he cums with a cry when she slams her hips down on his own with one last drop, her walls sucking him in and begging for his cum as much as her words had.

His warmth flooded deep inside of her, sticking to her walls as they both let out a loud moan. She came to the hot feeling taking over her core, the feeling in itself new to her, making her feel completely full, even more so than when the girth of Tighnari had first spread her tender walls apart.

As they came down together, basking in the aftershocks of pleasure, their breaths mingling in the short distance between them, Tighnari pulled Y/N down to settle comfortably at his side on the bed. After a few blissful minutes, his careful hand reaches out to lay on her heated cheek as they face each other.

"I love you." His voice stands out in the silence of the room, but the certainty that he speaks with leaves no room for doubt.

"... I love you too."

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@swivy123

#genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin tighnari #tighnari x reader #tighnari smut #tighnari #tighnari x reader smut #genshin x reader smut #Writing for an ask~🩷

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