#it could be worse i know it’s fucking stupid to be addressing my literal actual supervisor as ‘you’ in the tags of a tumblr post she will
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cringe btw. fail a little bit as well
#purrs#not really happy with how i showed up and navigated situations and circumstances today. i think i was not as kind or respectful as i could h#have been. and there’s nothing i can do but live with it and try to do better tomorrow. but this shit is so fucking hard and horrible. this#is not what i thought i was signing up for. this is not how i thought this month would go. and i know it’s normal and natural and whatever f#for like. every aspect of this process to be happening (and yet also cringe and stupid etc) but i just wish it wasn’t happening. i don’t#want to be responsible for planing your fucking goodbye gift i want you to stay. i don’t want to fucking go on a walk with you (i mean i#quite literally do LOL but) i want to keep yearning for i and working towards asking for it naturally and not in wretched circumstances. i#don’t want to have responsibility for all the tasks and people coming into the office and giving me knowing and pitying looks and asking how#this is going and meaning both me starting something and you leaving i want the whole you leaving part to just not even be a thing. i know I#it could be worse i know it’s fucking stupid to be addressing my literal actual supervisor as ‘you’ in the tags of a tumblr post she will#never read but it’s like fucking hell. i care about you so much. this has been a nightmare and i want it to be over but it won’t be ever. an#and i have to live with this somehow and i know it will feel better but for now im just fumbling through it and hurting and suffering and it#like doesn’t even matter. idk. the timing just hurts. it really does. as does the whole thing. idk when i’ll stop being hurt but i am hurt#delete later#i think i said this but i literally have to get assigned a fucking ‘cultural contact’ bc she’s leaving and can’t guide me thru this like i#always dreamed she would. the literal actual slap in the face of it.my heart hurts lol#it’s not just work also. like i know i am a freak about work on the dash but it really is not just work. or it is but it’s like. idk. ugh i#feel so trapped in this i fucking hate it and everyone is gonna tell her / me / us / whatever that this is good and normal and expected and#we’ll be okay etc but it’s NOT. it WON’T. we’re family or something like that and she’s leaving it and me and * are sobbing and * is like ha#having to be strong for us bc both of us are mentally ill wrecks over it and i know he is too and it’s killing me and meanwhile * just fucks#off across the country and we only see her TWO more times???? are you kidding me? LOL! like you just leave? lolllllll. after everythinggggg!#which she’s entitled to do. but it’s like. i thought we all understood… but apparently we weren’t on the same page. and now we’re here. LOL#anyway i am not being any less cringe or fail by continuing to post about this to redacted number of ppl but idk how else to cope. gn lawl#one more thing my heart hurts sooooooo bad. like physically. that is just sick in the head. wtf
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So when are we going to start to address the very real harm that the anti ship discourse, as well as anti para rhetoric, does to people with POCD?
Do you have any idea what it's like to obsess over the fear that you might be a ped0? I have literally spent days basically non-stop analysing anything I ever might have done that would make me a ped0 with my greatest reassurance to myself being that "I can't be, because if I was I'd kill myself." (If you know anything about OCD, you know reassurances don't actually help. When I inevitably found more reasons to convince myself I am a P, the line to off myself only sounded more and more like the reasonable solution)
In my rational brain I know that fiction isn't reality and I don't deserve to fucking die over reading fic. I never used to have a problem with problematic fic I read because it was completely divorced from reality to me. I knew that it was completely fiction, even more than that it was further removed from reality because it was fanfiction, and knowing that nobody was being actually hurt meant I could read it without questioning my morals. Reading problematic fic didn't even pop up as a worry when the pocd would come back because I knew that fanfiction isn't reality and what you read in fiction has no basis on what you like in reality.
And I still know that's true when it comes to other people, i know that people who read and write problematic fic aren't intently ped0s, but the anti discourse has fucked me up. Ever since seeing people argue that reading or writing problematic ships means that you are secretly a ped0, my POCD has latched on to it and it makes me want to fucking die. I can barely engage with any media now without fear of commiting a fucking thought crime which will prove that I'm a monster and going to commit an actual crime. It's hard to be around anyone for fear that they'll also think I should die. I've gotten so much worse in the past couple years and so much of that is because of stupid fucking anti discourse.
And then there's the anti para rhetoric that exists fucking everywhere. Seeing people say "all ped0s and zoos should kts" has made me so sick. My ocd tells me that I'm actually just a ped0 in denial and should die because of it and people saying that all ped0s, regardless of if they have or would ever offend, should just die fuels the voice that tells me to commit slip and slide more than anything else.
For fucking decades the only people I've spoken to about this are my system members out of debilitating shame and fear and self loathing. Contemplating at what point the thoughts actually mean I should just give in and end it.
There are no such thing as thought crimes.
Reading problematic fic literally hurts no one.
Telling people that they're ped0s with no proof because they read something causes real harm.
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Trying to do a RWBY V9 rewrite where I actually address Penny’s death and I’m just, hitting a fucking wall. I was using a lot of “Penny was already dead as soon as Cinder got to her” ideas to justify Jaune’s decision, only to get smacked in the face with Jaune’s healing aura. There is really no way for me to write V9 without either, not acknowledging Jaune’s actions or going full throttle on making Jaune a shitty person. GOD, this show sucks
Where I personally get hung up in revised Volume 9 imaginings is his motivation. I've got no problem making a character a "shitty person" for a Volume—AKA making awful decisions with horrific outcomes that they need to come to terms with/perhaps make amends for, but are ultimately not reflective of their desire to do good—but I can't for the life of me come up with a good reason for why Jaune wouldn't try to save Penny. As you say, we can go the "she was already on death's door" route, but I had a problem with that logic in the canon, specifically because a) Jaune is not a doctor, b) Penny has had a human body for all of half an hour and doesn't know shit about what can and can't kill her, and c) even if they did somehow know for sure she couldn't make it, Jaune would have still tried. Not only does he have a healing semblance which makes him the one character perfectly justified in at least attempting a hail Mary, he's also the character who missed Cinder's attack on Amber, was kept from helping Pyrrha, and went through the horror of saving Weiss. Much like Ruby's "This is my fight too!" Jaune is primed to fight death kicking and screaming so that it doesn't take another of his friends. There is no consistent version of his character that rolls over and doesn't just let Penny die, but actively helps her do it.
Unless, that is, her death was inevitable AND not assisting her would cause harm to others. This is what Volume 8 tried to convey, but ultimately failed at. Spectacularly. As established, there's no reason for Jaune to buy into the supposed inevitability of Penny's death and, worse, the show has been wishy-washy af regarding the passing of the Maiden powers. Since Jaune is not privy to future scenes shown only to the audience—that is, Penny meeting with Winter—he'd have no reason to believe that killing Penny a few minutes faster would somehow keep the powers from Cinder's hands. For all he knows (and, frankly, for all we know based on RWBY's lackluster logic) the power still would have gone to Cinder due to her grimm hand involvement, or because she's still in Penny's thoughts as her (initial) killer, or maybe it goes to Weiss because she's in her line of sight, or Penny plans to send it to Winter by the act of dying means her thoughts panic and the powers just fly off somewhere else. Literally nothing established, "If you kill me now instead of letting Cinder's wound do the job I can DEFINITELY get this power to an ally instead," so to put that suuuuper iffy plan on the shoulders of the character who could have just saved her, or at least would have thought he could and been determined to try, is quite an egregious case of "Stupid for the sake of plot."
Honestly, fixing this mess requires fixing the death scene itself, ideally with work done far earlier throughout the series. The only thing I can think to do in a completely canon-compliant Volume 9 would be to have the girls act as audience stand-ins. That is, have Team RWBY asking all the questions we've been voicing. What convinced you that Penny was definitely dying? Why were you so sure this would keep the powers safe? Have Weiss gesture to her abdomen and emphasize that he healed her after she was stabbed with a flaming spear and you couldn't fix Cinder poking some holes an inch or two into Penny's chest?? Jaune shoots back that he needed to help her and she screams that he didn't, she was holding her own, and why the hell would you prioritize me potentially being mortally wounded by Cinder when Penny was already dying? Even if she couldn't be saved, why didn't you try?
Jaune's response would then set the tone for his arc throughout the rest of the Volume. Did he just panic? Is his ability to assess a situation compromised? Is he becoming colder, perhaps rejecting the idea that they should attempt hail Marys at all rather than just taking what seems to be the safest route? Idk. This is why my metas back around Volume 6 still held out hope and by Volume 8 had become a lot more pessimistic. We reached a point where even if RWBY gets its writing act together, there's simply too much damage to finish the series strong. Once you mess up that badly you'll continually hit those roadblocks of, "Hmm. How do I make that make sense?" and if the answer is, "I can't" it's just perpetual bad writing by virtue of RWBY having to build on what it set down before. (And no, the irony of us having this problem in a series that is simultaneously so inconsistent is not lost on me lol.)
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SORRY i have to do dear diary: work problems edition under the cut again
so on monday i volunteered to do this small project with the HR team to wrap up a massive project i’d led earlier (although of course it was one that my lead took over in the last 2% of work and now claims as her own achievement). got the go-ahead from my boss & my lead was copied on all the emails. so i set up meetings with the team today and tomorrow, circulated an agenda, and created a structure for us to use in brainstorming content. my lead was CC’d on all of this because i’m not allowed to email people without her knowing. then this morning she messaged to ask me to change the time of my meeting because she wanted to meet with the HR lead about something earlier in the day. so i was like ok whatever! annoying that you couldn’t find some other time and had to take this time but fine! i moved the meeting, sent out a note to the HR team, and don’t really think anything of it.
but THEN we just had our weekly meeting with our boss, and at this meeting ashley announced that she had met with the HR team this morning, gotten all the material needed the project, and would complete everything by the end of the day. i was just sitting there like “...i’m sorry?” and finally interrupted her to be like “so what should i do with them in the meeting?” and she was like “well you don’t really need to have it now. but you could just sit on the call with them and have them upload these three forms i need and email them to me if you want.” i just sat there gaping at her because what the ACTUAL fuck???? like you already block me from taking on projects and take credit for the projects i DO do and now you’ve escalated to stealing projects I’d claimed & completing them before i can finish them & then telling me that in front of my boss so it looks like either you didn’t trust me to do it myself or i was failing in some way and you had to pick up the slack? and also you make me look stupid in front of the HR team by scheduling your own private meetings with them and not telling me so i’m still communicating with them like i’m coordinating the project? like WHAT is this woman’s deal??? jesus christ!!!!
i have a meeting with her later (which she rescheduled earlier one minute before it was supposed to start without telling me) and i’m trying to decide if i bring it up with her to be like “that really fucking bothered me” in more professional language, or if i just let it go and use it as further fuel to get out of here. i feel like i keep letting things go because they’re annoying/insulting but they’re also just “oh i can explain...” enough that i feel dumb bringing them up because there’s that tiny voice in my head that’s like ‘did you miss something? did YOU fuck up? is someone mad at you? did your boss say yes to your face and then go over your head to tell your lead to do the project for you?’ which just makes me feel all uncomfortable and lowkey anxious even though i’m like if i DID fuck up recently somehow (how could i have fucked up?? i’ve been out for three weeks!!!! i literally have not had opportunity to fuck up!!!) and my boss handled it that way instead of addressing it with me, that’s just terrible management and should not be something i internalize. but AGH the fucking MIND GAMES in this team and just all! the! tiny! ways! my lead undermines me or tries to make me doubt myself. and THEN i have no idea if she’s doing it intentionally or if she’s just kinda shitty at supervising people or at communicating clearly (which is funny because she talks all the time about how she’s such a ~relator~ whose biggest skill is building relationships and communicating with people). idk man it just makes me feel bad and then it feels even worse to stew in the negative feelings all day. like i don’t actually ENJOY complaining i would much rather just have a job where i get to work hard alongside people i generally like and respect and all of my dear diary posts are about how rewarding i find my work or whatever!!! blehhhh okay gotta go do a quick lap around the house before i can face her in 5 minutes.
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i have a lot of Thoughts about the chicago situation and im going to put them under the cut cause i know no one cares but i have no one to talk to so they're going here anyway
tw: sexual assault, r*pe, hazing ?
okay so like... what happened?? i watched that press conference (yay being unemployed, we love it here and we are NOT going insane) and i am now convinced that perry probably didnt have sex with bedards mom but actually did something really, really, very much so worse.
im not convinced nothing happened between perry and any bedard though. its such a specific rumor. and the gm and all these reporters being like iTS DISGUSTING TO EVEN SUGGEST- okay so where did it come from then?? can you show me the tweet from rangersfan420 who hates the hawks and started a rumor for fun?? can you find the source to PROVE its just a stupid internet lie?? i know its hard but if im chicago, im putting someone on it. if im a reporter (i know its a hard job, its a lot of work, etc but i have very little sympathy for most hockey reporters specifically because of, well- name any incident) im SCOURING the web for the source of that rumor to either ask how they know, or embed the link in my pay-wall blocked article for clicks!! you KNOW it would work, at least a few times. theyve had two days, has anyone even attempted this? (someone who's job it is, who's getting paid literally to either create news or to kill the rumor more effectively than whatever the hell the hawks are trying right now)
i might believe something sexual assult-y happened between perry and a player's family or player even except we KNOW for a FACT that the nhl and the hawks specifically do not care about that. they can "we're committed to change" all they want (clearly that's not working) but what motive would they have for kicking perry off the team? when has the NHL, or NHL fans (the loud, obnoxious majority, anyway) cared when a player has assaulted anyone?? we have seen sex crime after sex crime against women (and men!) committed by these players who are STILL PLAYING. no consequences enforced by their team, by the league, or by the media or fans (generally. there are good fans and there are some media outlets that care). so really, the hawks have no reason to kick perry off the team, or address the media, or make this into A Thing at all if that were the case. I know its hard to quash a rumor once it starts, but i honestly think if they had just been like "perry did *insert sex crime here* and thats bad, sooweee" people would be like BUT HES A GREAT PLAYER and people would be liek THAT SUCKS KICK HIM OFF THE TEAM and then in 30 hours there would be something new to yell about. (because being the moral police for this FUCKING LEAGUE is exhausting. where my red wings girlies who are dead inside at?? let me hear you scream into the void!)
so let's take a sexual encounter/assault off the table. what the hell was it?? probably not a racist thing. the chicago hockey team for sure doesn't care about that (See: their logo). its probably not a straight up and down illegal thing because the cops aren't involved as far as we know. (not that that really matters to this league either. remember the val nichushkin thing?? or the lucic thing?? {im assuming he'll be playing again soon} or like a million other things?? god this league is exhausting)
i saw someone say a hazing thing and that i might believe, esp bc of how their gm looked on the brink of tears. but then... say that?? or then why say no one else in the locker room knows about it?? are we keeping them in the dark or are we covering their asses legally??
this league is so fucked up, that there's honestly not much i can imagine that a hockey player could do that would warrant THIS from his team and the NHL.
(unless of course he's claimed off waivers or signed in like three months, then it's probably your garden variety assault/hazing/drunk/racist incident)
UGH i hate it here sometimes
#corey perry#chicago blackhawks#idk if anyone has any thoughts... i mean i dont expect anyone to read this but is anyone else kind of going insane??#like hockey was supposed to be my fun escape and then this happens over and over and over and over and over#really i make jokes#mostly on twitter#but about bedard's mom because... before that press conference it was funny!#and now i feel sick!!#i wish whoever was a victim of this incident#i assume there is at least one#is okay and not deeply re-truamatized by idiots like me speculating#and i wish bedard didnt go there because this sucks for him hes just a kid#i bet he could laugh off the jokes but if its something worse...#and i wish the chicago blackhawks orginzation a very fuck you die
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#misogyny isn’t okay just because you don’t like somebody
but you have shielded the people that was about repeatedly.
Just soon back you were reblogging black pills and telling us, oh stupid bi women, stop getting "hung up on" being called dick worshipers, say you're identical to tims, and having your abuses discredited. Ohh fine you say, maybe she should use nicer words to say same things, but she is very right, listen to the things of real importance not your stupid little rape statistics or whatever. Of course she is not a misogynist no no, she is insightful and it is based that everyone reblogs those things. So you get annoyed at bis because they wont ignore misogyny and biphobia, you don't get annoyed at misogyny or your friends reblogging it. wau!
Then just now you get so angry bisexuals dare say we should not feel shame for any aspect of bisexuality. You pretend that post said "het relationships are oppressed by gay people" so you can move the straw man into the goal posts, but what it actually said was that bisexual people are degraded and internalize shame about OSA, even in het relationships. You ignore how first post was bisexuals telling other bisexuals, and literal example in next post was bi woman saying about herself. Yet you pretend its bisexuals forcing gay people to worship us. Reach.
Could not be that its about how people call us dick worshipers, degenerates, sex beasts without love, kink freaks without boundaries, that is bi womens fault if they get raped for being sluts, and even worse things? all that affects us, gets in our heads? But no of course saying those things is fine against a dick worshiper. Well for us is not fine, we feel pain that our fellow bisexuals internalize those things deep in their hearts and it makes them alone and afraid, only you can think that is evil and homophobic somehow. Hetero relationships are celebrated but that does not mean bisexuals or bisexuality are celebrated by heteros, the statistics on the abuse and everything prove that very much. But no of course you ignore any of that to tell us to go "touch grass" as if hetero world is peace for us. Then when the reality reveals itself and the heteros are - the gasping here! - homophobic, you are first in line to coddle the people that tell us we are playing victim and our rape and other abuse is not real compared to what homosexuals feel.
I do not think you are against misogyny, misogyny is fine against bisexuals you by how treat it. You are not getting angry at misogyny you are getting more angry at bisexuals for not putting up with it. What you are against is seeming of misogyny and only just barely.
Oh my fucking god here we go again.
I apologised. I admitted I was wrong. I meant it. And yet you still come at me like this. Honestly you’re just making it clear that I’ll never be good enough for you. If you have such an issue with me and with accepting that I’m both a human and a learning feminist meaning I will make mistakes, just block me.
This whole time I’ve disagreed with language like “dick worshippers”. I’ve made that clear and I don’t know how many times I have to do so for you to stop pretending I haven’t. And even if I was once out there yelling misogynistic language at bi women (which I was not), me reblogging the post speaking against it should make you think “good, she’s changed”, not “ooo let me tell her off for reblogging a post about the issue I want her to address”???? Talk about not leaving room for growth.
The post you’re referring to…I EXPLICITLY STATED I DISAGREED WITH WHAT YOU ARE MENTIONING. Because I am able to read a text critically, I took the good bits which were the criticism of lesbophobia from bi women (and tbh I think you probably take issue with this too, because how dare we talk about anything other than uwu wlw solidarity), and acknowledged it wasn’t perfect. One of the first things I pointed out in my reblog was that I disagreed with saying bi women and TIMs were the same, so you acting like I agree with that is either you ignoring what I said, or being intentionally obtuse.
I agree bisexuals shouldn’t feel any shame for being bisexual. I also agree that a lot of bisexuals get hilariously pissy when gay people don’t give a shit about their OSA and opposite sex relationships. Tbh I’m actually not sure what specific post you’re talking about here because just tonight I’ve seen so many posts where OSA people cry about their het relationships not being seen as “queer” or “gay enough” or some shit. But look, I don’t believe anyone can truly feel shame regarding OSA, because the whole fucking world celebrates and encourages OSA. And I don’t think any homosexual needs to give even an ounce of compassion to OSA people crying to us about how much they don’t like being OSA, because we’re too busy focusing on the victims of homophobia (before you get angrier with me, I’m talking about both gay and bi victims of homophobia).
If you want to talk about the negative stereotypes about bisexuals, or the degrading language used to discuss specifically bisexual women, then talk about that! I’ll support you! But you can do that without making it about how it’s so so hard to be OSA. Idk maybe you’re talking about some post I’ve forgotten about that I misinterpreted and it really is talking about everything you’re saying and isn’t pulling the “gay people make it so hard to be OSA” card, because I’ve seen a bunch of those posts on my dash recently so they’re fresh in my mind and are what I’m thinking of while responding to this. So just know if that’s the case idk what post you’re talking about, and I’m strictly talking about the kweers who cry about people thinking their m/f relationships are straight, and being upset that gay people don’t want to hear about their OSA.
I know in my heart that I’m against misogyny, you can think what you want of me. But in my humble opinion, I think you have a very black and white perception of me that doesn’t allow for realising mistakes and growing from them.
#you caught me on my period :)#imagine being upset that I reblogged something you agree with lmaooo#go take the issue up with the people actually being misogynistic already#stop coming to me and expecting me to grovel#asks#anon
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I'm curious, but may I ask what the major issues of the Hobbit trilogy were, please?
ohhh boy I could go on for ages... in fact, I think I previously made a whole post about it, let me see if I can find it
okay I couldn't find the exact post, but the two I rbed below me are a couple reasons. but, I'm going to be visiting the discord for this one bc I know I've definitely ranted about it there
but first, I want to start out by addressing an attitude I've seen since Amazon's fanfiction came out. a lot of people have started to point to the Hobbit trilogy and say, "see! it wasn't so bad! aren't you grateful for them now! we trested it so badly but we didn't know!"
to which I say: absolutely not.
more below the cut because this is gonna be loooong
that's like trying to excuse a turd in comparison to a post-taco bell night mess. one is more disgusting than the other, but at the end of the day, they're both terrible pieces of shit.
the Hobbit films didn't magically get better just because the Fanfic came out. it being worse didn't suddenly erase that trilogies flaws.
so with that clarified, let's get into what actually makes the Hobbit films so bad.
I actually think the first one is pretty good. It had potential and is easily fixable.
but movie two... it was all downhill from there.
where to begin... ah, the writing.
so, it's clear that the writing was attempting for the same tone as the original LotR trilogy. and while that may seem like a good idea on the surface, The Hobbit was written for children. the tone of the book is overall more light-hearted and adventurous. therefore, trying to force the more despairing-yet-hopeful, dark tone of the original trilogy already starts the story on the wrong foot. you get conflicting messages from the subtext because the film writers' vision is so different from the basic intent of what Tolkien wrote.
I like to say it this way: they were more interested in making a "LotR prequel" than they were in making a "Hobbit film adaptation". the Hobbit should've been one film, maybe two. but they clearly only painfully stretched it across three films like butter scraped across too much bread for the sole purpose of having just as many movies as LotR - but that one actually makes sense because the book is divided into three volumes providing natural breaking points and content enough for for three movies
now I own the extended editions of the Hobbit, literally just for the sake of owning them, and.... the first one? hardly "extended" at all. I'm pretty sure the extended Unexpected Journey is literally still shorter than the shortest THEATRICAL cut LotR film. it felt like the only material they cut was cut for the sole purpose of being able to sell an extended version.
also pardon my French but it genuinely makes me so angry-- there's this one fucking joke. this stupid. Fucking. Joke.
why would you hire a COMEDIAN to be in an epic fantasy like Tolkien?? Tolkien has funny moments but not Modern Comedian Funny.
this stupid. motherfucker. I am SO angry about this, he looked at a candelabra and fucking said MADE IN RIVENDELL??? I literally yelled over the movie for two solid minutes about that one, three word, throwaway line. it pisses me off more than the entirety of love triangle plot (we'll get to that later, don't you worry)
anways, I am taking deep breaths, I am calming down, we are forgetting about The Joke...
*ahem* now, let's talk about how the films look. first off, they filmed in 30 FPS. for context, the standard Frames Per Second is 24. 30 is typically only used for special effects such as slow mo, and even then youre better off using 60, so its essentially pointless in the end. this results in a weird, subconscious "off" feeling as you watch the movement on screen. everything just looks... not-quite-right, even if you can't put a finger on what it is.
the main visual issue is overuse of CGI. one of those posts I rbed below this has visual examples, comparing between the trilogies. namely, comparing between Lurtz and Azog the Defiler (who wasn't even in the books, btw. he was named dropped once, to say "oh yeah and Bolg, the orc leading the Orc army was the son of Azog the Defiler" and that was it).
the atrocious CGI sabotages any goodwill you mightve had for the production value.
the LotR trilogy was believable because of the well managed practical effects, with minimal and careful use of CGI. Peter Jackson said it was made like "a Kiwi indie film", and that simplistic yet passionate charm shines through The Hobbit, on the other hand, shot like any major hollywood production with approximately Zero indie charm, said "computers can do anything and everything, right?" and they just. Did That.
all the backgrounds are NOTICEABLY green screen. they're fuzzy and just. weird. im talking noticable green screen. there's even a behind the scenes set photo of Ian McKellen with his head in his hands, weeping, because he's surrounded by nothing but green fabric, without even another human actor across from him.
remember how I mentioned Azog? the orcs look like these weird, clay models that somebody ran through a computer program, and it's very distracting. not to mention, most of the orcs' acting is lost in the motion capture translation because CGI tech is constantly changing, whereas practical effects are what they are. theg stay the same and hold up consistently, making them far superior and able to last far longer, because CGI will inevitably evolve and be left in the dust (isn't that right, original Jumangi?) I once found a side-by-side gif of the original Azog actor in the motion capture suit vs the end product and I was absolutely gutted at how much of the intensity was lost. that same man, in a prosthetic effects costume? I have full confidence it would've been beautiful. but alas...
and i promised earlier that we'd talk about it, so its time to address that love triangle.
holy bad idea, Batman. you don't add OCs to someone else's work outside of fanfic period, but especially not to works like Tolkien. you just don't. heck, I even have issues with Legolas being in the Hobbit movies since he wasn't in the books! however, that could have been excused because he legitimately is Thranduil's son, and it would have been a neat fan service cameo, but with what they did to his character, it would have been better off not to have him at all. he had no business being so involved in the Plot, a simple popup in Mirkwood would've been enough
and then
then...... they had to do That. with Tauriel. Tauriel..... look, I get it, they wanted Female Representation™️, but. No. a multi billion dollar trilogy made to get money from nerds is not the place to crowd test your Dwarf/Elf/Elf love triangle fanfiction. that whole arc was also clearly time padding to have more material to justify 3 movies lol.
but, in addition, because of the love triangle/unnecessary Azog subplot combo, they ruined the depth of certain character deaths. Fili and Kili were meant to fall defending Thorin, and Thorin died three days later of his wounds, which is a huge part of his change of heart in forgiving Bilbo.
one thing that makes me laugh more than makes me angry is Kili's death. they try to make it all dramatic, like "oh no, Bolg has thrown the Strong and Dexterous Female Elf Warrior to the ground, and now he is going to kill Kili in slow motion" but like. she could have gotten up. she wasn't gravely injured, and she's like. an elf.
and it would have been so easy to fix this too, ignoring the fact that she shouldn't even exist. watch this, I'll fix it right now: she has almost fallen off the cliff, hanging on by her fingertips just the same way Gandalf did in Moria. she struggles to regain her grip to get to Kili, but before she can even get back up onto the ledge, Kili has been killed.
instead what we got: she's just like slowly writhing on the ground as Bolg deadass pauses for dramatic effect before slow mo shanking Kili with this giant spear that should have killed him instantly, but like he has enough slow mo time to gasp and groan and then finally mouth "i LoVe YoU!1!1" before mercifully perishing and escaping this trash movie. it's hilarious.
and don't even get me started on the weird sexual undertones they put between Gandalf and Galadriel, like??? that's a married woman my dude, why are she and the wizard making eyes at each other
anyways I'm sure there's more I could talk about but this is long enough as is. maybe someday I'll take all the footage of all 3 movies and edit it down into one single-film extended cut of What Could Have Been but until then I'm just going to keep rightfully trashing on this movie
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I just love being reminded every day how pointless my existence is. How much time I waste, how much I get in the way, how worse I am compared to others, how many things are missing, how what I actually do is not really valuable in any way (tbf I'm not expecting to be clapped by that either tho, it's not necessary).
But I'm so tired of waking up each day and feeling so stuck, of feeling so incapable, I don't know where to look anymore... I think...
I think I'm going to take the "easy" route instead... Given the traditional can't yield any fucking benefits.
I just wish I could keep the energy...
There's only two people on the planet that understand me, nay, just one, although even if both did they are both too depressed themselves, I am there for them more than they are for me.
And in many ways it is because, since they are worse, there are a lot more situations to address with them before getting to me, unfortunately I am starting to notice that the friend that does understand low key has trouble listening, as in, they have a tendency to shape the conversation back into themselves, again, because they are dealing with twice as much.
Nevertheless, my issues are the same pathetic constant at this point, the me from two years ago probably said it just as fine as the current me, my small achievements, my personal progress, none of that mattered, not of that had an impact or is having one, and once more I shall be reminded every day, tomorrow, the next day, and so on.
I get that the people around me are also tired, I am rational enough to understand why they can't always be in a hyping and cheering mood, a mood that gives hope, or that extends a hand...
And I personally can't see if that's what I need? I have no clue where to go next, how to do anything, the people "helping" look at me like I should know about something that was never explained to me, just because it seems simple on the surface does not mean I know how to traverse??????
Not like it is their fault anyway, the tag of my intelligence is strong enough - and often real enough - that I could probably figure it out, but it scares me, it makes me uncomfortable, it makes me feel incapable, and therefore I never know where to move, or how to act...
I wish I could get a bit more direct guidance, but I am too ashamed to ask, when I do I'll be dismissed and probably mocked, "me? Really? That's just an excuse to not to anything" what if it is... I may be believing them too.
I have also cornered myself in a spot where no one cares to help, those who care don't know what to say, my therapist literally didn't seem to care (although that was on him, and a first across our history).
I fucking wish I wasn't so judged in my moves. What if one day I wake up and try to do something, I don't want to explain myself, I don't even want to be seen doing it, I don't want anyone to make a snarky annoying comment about it...
I hope you noticed my stupid contradiction of both wanting to be heard and not be seen btw.
I am so useless.
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Well, I promised a rant about a new leaked Helluva Boss episode, so here it goes. But before that disclaimer: this rant is specifically about the LEAK. So if something changes in the final version of a fully animated episode (mainly dialogue) – good for them, I'm glad they decided to change things for the better. After all, I'm just a guy rumbling about a show to my like, four followers, half of whom are porn bots. So buckle up folks, that's gonna be a long and messy one.
First, I want get out of the way Fizz and Ozzie relationship. Not gonna lie, even I, with my cold little aro heart, though that their relationship was kinda adorable. Dialogue in these scenes feel natural, in the vacuum they legitimately look like a healthy couple. There are still good questions about their relationship that were brought up to others like "why are they like each other romantically?" or "shouldn't they be more toxic considered their unbalanced power dynamic?" and honestly? I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I don't wanna know lol. Viv&co are notoriously bad at adequately addressing this stuff, and frankly, I'm sick of every relationship in this show being toxic and SH crew trying to retcon them into not being that way. Even M&M, who are supposed to be having the equal and wholesome marriage, are full of problems writers try to ignore and they're getting even worse. So even if core of Fizz and Oz relationship is a can of worms, I don't want to open it (but Viv still does that but more about it later).
I'll skip to the scene where Blitz and Fizz start arguing. Why is Blitz so class-conscious all of a sudden? Why does he care that Fizz is mingling with Asmodeus? Blitz does the exact same thing with Stolas, still doing stuff for him whenever he asks. Stolas just "allows" Blitz to have his association business, same as Asmodeus allows Fizz to still work with Mammon. I'm sorry Blitz, but you're still Stolases bitch and Ozzie at least have some respect for Fizz. Blitz in this scene is either just being hypocritical, or trying to hurt Fizz for the sake of it (which will be important later). Also comment about horns that set's Blitz off is weird. Wouldn't calling out Blitz on his hypocrisy would've been a better come back? Or was it "the grass is greener" type of comment? More likely it was just another unfunny sex joke, so I'm going to move on.
No thoughts on Striker and Crimson working together, except maybe the fact that it didn't need to be Crimson specifically. Could've been any other rich guy, and nothing would've been lost. They really should've just let Moxxie kill him in Exes tbh.
Unfunny dildo testing scene, no comments on this.
Stolas is here and is woobified again with his whole "I caught feveings for an imp uvu". Asmodeus loudly eating in this scene was waay too goofy, but you know what? Fair enough, I'd also prefer gobbling dicks and holes instead of listening to whatever this owl bitch has to say.
Crimson's plan is incredibly stupid, but what's more stupid is that it's actually working so far. So what if Asmodeus is weakest of the seven deadly sins? He's still a sin, and Crimson is just an imp who's supposed to be at the bottom of the hierarchy! You really telling me that Asmodeus literally could do nothing but comply? That's so dumb. Even if he signed a contract, couldn't he just get a Fizz and immediately after kill Crimson and get his factory back? Again, what is this plan lmao.
And now the fucking cage scene and the entirety of it is a shit show. (Fizz is literally working on Mammon and on Asmodeus. Why are these bitches assuming Fizz is only tied to Ozzie and they're monogamous all of a sudden?)
Gotta love how Blitz is looking at the camera while delivering his monologue on how Stolas only wants to fuck and only pretens to like him. The whole scene was designed so the impressionable audience could scream at their screens "no that's not true! He really loves you!". And of course Fizz is being used like a puppet to say that "not all rich bad" and "you're only hate Stolas because he's a prince" and I'll stop you there. Whether this is a dig at the HB critics or Blitzo's character I'll let you decide, but I'm going to say this: Stolas being a nobility isn't an issue. The issue is how he treats Blitz by calling him a plaything, talking down to him, holding a thing that brings him income above his head in exchange of sexual favours (which is rape-adjacent at best) and fetishizing him for being an imp. Which is a pararel on how a lot of people in power treat those they deem beneath them. And "well he realized he actually loves him now" isn't a fucking solution to the issue. How would Stolas treat imps he doesn't want to fuck? Probably not good huh?
Also, this scene unintentionally brings up another issue: have you noticed that so far everyone at the top has been depicted as good and caring, despite being a very high rank and reinforcing the rules that make everyone (including themselves) miserable? And judging by Hazbin leaks, the same thing, Lucifer himself is the same way. Fucking Lucifer. The ruler of the whole-ass hell.
Let's pretend it makes sense in the story. Ok. The question then is: if most people who are really on the top are actually good and care about their subjects, why are hellborns live worse lives than a FUCKING SINNERS, huh?! Who FUCKING STOPS THEM from getting rid of stupid rules such as lust being separated from love? Or having relationship with imps being prohibited among the Goetia? Or putting imps and hellhounds at the bottom with seemingly no reason? And who even made those rules in the first place?? GOD?! The same guy who doesn't give a shit about even sinners, considering they can do whatever the fuck they want in this place anyway??? The same guy YOU REBELLED AGAINST???? Hell is literally your place anyway, who fucking stops you from making your own rules, or new ones, if previous hurt you directly?
If this show was consistent in it's writing, I MAYBE could've bought the idea of sinners actually fucking up everyone else in here (no indication about this in the actual show, btw. I just throw my ideas in here, which I probably shouldn't do). But come on. Aren't those guys supposed to be a fallen angels? Those who also committed the first sins? WHICH THEY'RE LITERALLY EMBODIMENTS OF? SINNERS AREN'T EVEN AS POWERFUL OR HOLD HIGHER POSITION THAN THESE GUYS, GOD.
Show's explicit unwillingness to have a normal world building makes it look really questionable. Viv has fallen into the infamous "the good king" trope and she keeps bringing it up, because her special little boy Stolas fits into that category and everyone who dare criticizing him are assholes and wrong, because she said so.
Let me be clear: if the whole show was supposed to be about a forbidden gay romance between two people from different upbringing and income class I wouldn't criticize it so heavily. But writers clearly bring those issues up, only to immediately sweep them under the rug or bite the bullet and try to justify bad shit by saying stuff like "ummm not all heavily privileged rich people are bad".
Quick, somebody tell VivziePop that not all women are bad, maybe then we can have a well-written woman in her show for once!
And of course, Striker gets butchered once again, because now he's a supremacist, apparently?
Honestly, at this point I think that Viv accidentally wrote a compelling antagonist, who actually rases some good questions about the royals and the system that Viv cannot meaningfully disprove, so now she throws every bad trait on him, in hope that the audience would automatically disagree with him because he's "bad". Remember how Striker was almost flirting with Blitz in episode 5? Now he's homophobic and bigoted and hates flirting! Oh Striker was OK with Blitz working on Stolas and he himself worked on Stella to get a quick buck and reach his goals? Now he hates everyone who works with Goetia to get the life they deserve! And now he's a supremacist all of a sudden, despite no previous indications that he helds a believe in superiority of imps before other races (imps are also not the only ones who are disadvantaged, btw. Look at hellhounds who are also at the bottom).
Can Striker be a bad person, who strives to have a good thing but through bad action and for the wrong reasons? Yes. And a good writer could've made an interesting anti-villian from him. Not Viv though. Not Viv.
Moving on, because Satan knows I already spent too much time rumbling about this scene.
Blitz and Fizz getting out of the cage was actually pretty entertaining, it's a fun scene.
Now, I understand that not every character needs to be a badass fighter, but you telling me that a dude with mechanical limbs would be useless in a fight or couldn't do anything with a rope? Also Fizz was kinda extra whiney and helpless here and I couldn't shake off a feeling that Fizz was characterized like this to make Blitz look cooler and "better". Not to say that he was Stella'ed, but it's really hard to tell considering his last interaction with Blitz was very short, so idrk.
Speaking of Blitz: his whole backstory was just weird? From how he accidentally set a whole fucking circus on fire (come to think of it now, it's so fucking goofy the whole situation looks more of a dark comedy than a tragedy, which was clearly NOT what writers were going for) to his relationship with Fizz.
It's kinda weird that at first one of the show's key points was to teach Blitz that he needs to learn from previous mistakes and be better, and the show was constantly hinting on how he HIMSELF fucked up his previous relationships.
But now the whole thing was set up to be an accident (yes, it was TECHNICALLY his fault, but he might as well accidentally bumped into a guy with cake while not being upset, it would still cause a fire) and he doesn't really need to apologize about that and the whole "I'm sorry, I hate myself for it" was done so the audience could go "nooo, baby it's not your fault 🥺😭". While what Blitz REALLY needed to be apologizing for is his jealousy towards Fizzes talent. Honestly it was a wasted opportunity to get into the details of their past relationship. Maybe Blitz was a toxic friend? Maybe he would make a little remarks to put Fizz down, or constantly trying to one-up him?
Those things plus Blitz "seemingly" abandoning Fizz could have been a final nail in a coffin of their friendship and Fizz could've chosen himself to cut contact with Blitz, instead of making mysterious ""THEM"" do it. It would not only suit the themes of the show better and it wouldn't be just another "well he was sad and didn't mean it" excuse. But we need an immediate forgiveness from Fizz in order to give Blitz an asmodean cristal, so screw meaningful character progression and following show's themes I guess. Also Blitz didn't even change much, considering he's still been treating Fizz like shit almost the entire time, despite allegedly feeling guilty about what happened.
Honestly at this point I'm out of comments, and I think in this incoherent rant I said enough already. Asmodeus jokingly saying that Fizz go anywhere alone after this whole situation was kinda alarming a bit, but uh. Don't care anymore, writers won't take it anywhere anyway.
Also there's way too many shots of Blitz/Fizz blushing while interacting with each other or Striker. Imagine a Universe where VivziePop thinks of world building as much as she thinks about demon yaoi.
I'm done for now, thanks for reading, I guess!
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BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.
Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.
lol what
I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass
also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go
IIDA ANGST
Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida
meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”
“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still
“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT
yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue
okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol
LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL
“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then
oh, ouch
he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan
by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree
and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez
anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol
OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??
FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent
so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient
mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!
FUCK YEAH
okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?
in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no
oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!
poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol
omg. well that answers that
so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own
BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible
(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.
and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)
by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol
WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI
YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR
okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward
dskfjfkk
“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”
actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol
(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)
whoa lol wtf
MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT
-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK
“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao
and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices
poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg
“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS
FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU
THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami
okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces
um excuse me this is fucking awesome
wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk
TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY
WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE
and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji
KAMINARI OMFG
it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice
aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself
do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude
oh shit the mask!!
-- oh shit the feels
o(TヘTo)
fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...
and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance
(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.
incidentally, as @class1akids pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)
anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!
“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal
p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked
ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last
okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago
but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once
and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama
and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED
#bnha 320#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#asui tsuyu#tokoyami fumikage#kaminari denki#todoroki shouto#class 1-a#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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My Human, My Sunshine - Part 1
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort.
Pairing: GN!MC x Mammon
Word count: 5194
Summary: Mammon finds himself lost in the human world. Meanwhile, MC can't get ahold of Solomon, their phone dead silent.
Warnings: N/A
A/N: My first writing piece for Obey Me! It's kind of a long one so I recommend you grab a snack or two during it. While this part is occupied by a good amount of text messages between Mammon and someone else, I'm already thinking of writing a part 2 which will have way more dialogue. In the meantime, please enjoy this little scenario I came up with after listening to a song that set me in an angsty mood. :)
______________________________________________________
Wet. Cold. Exhausted. And completely lost.
Mammon felt all of those, and yet, his legs kept on marching into the dead of night, his jacket covering his head despite being too drenched to protect him from the rain anymore. Each time a droplet of water came rolling on his cheek, his wrist would come to brush it off, and Mammon would let out an annoyed groan. If only there were any shops open, but the city was definitely asleep. He was thankful for the crashing sound of the rain on the ground around him, along with the smell of the wet asphalt keeping himself awake, otherwise, he surely would have gone crazy by now. The demon had even lost count of how many hours he had been wandering through the streets, how many mailboxes he had checked, how few passersby he had come across, only to receive negative answers to his questions.
And so Mammon kept on walking, not sure where to go next. But he felt sure of one thing: he wouldn't stop moving until he had found what he was looking for. Be there rain, or no rain. Lost or not.
"Tch, the human world's weather really sucks..."
As he walked on the pavement, his brow furrowed from the lack of new clues as to where his destination was supposed to be. His eyes caught sight of a bakery he had already walked by earlier during the day, its gentle light piercing the darkness that had been accompanying him for far too long now. Mammon's brow furrowed slightly at the sight- he knew he had gone in circles time and time again, but seeing it confirmed once more rubbed him the wrong way. Despite that, he decided to walk towards it, and took shelter under the entrance's porch. Surely the owners wouldn't mind him checking his phone for a few minutes, right? Right.
Pinching between his fingers the precious D.D.D. he had tucked under his shirt to protect it from the rain, Mammon looked at the map again. His stomach dropped for the upteenth time upon seeing the address still showing in his search bar, the letters and numbers taunting him. A knot formed in his throat as he tried his best not to scream at his screen.
"It wasn't there, you idiot..."
His mouth formed into an angry pout. Mammon looked into the list of potential addresses he had made throughout the day, and all had been crossed out. He felt his jaw clench- not only was he left with no addresses, no other clues, no humans to help him, but also that stupid rain surely would keep on falling for the rest of the night.
He was truly cursed.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" Mammon groaned, his free hand reaching upward to grab at his hair in frustration.
Yes... that was a good question. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could ask help from any of his brothers, or from the angels. It had already been a miracle a witch he knew accepted to snuck him into the human world without anyone knowing, but there was no way he'd get any more help from her without offering his own life in exchange. And contacting Solomon was absolutely out of the question, for his own obvious reasons that he still was suspicious of the guy.
For the longest time in a while, Mammon felt alone. More alone than he had ever been before. He had promised himself to go on this search on his own, stupidly thinking that it'd be over by the end of the day, and look where that got him. Lost in the human world, on the verge of catching some nasty human virus from all this rain that had poured on him, and without anyone by his side.
The grip on his phone tightened, the hand holding it shaking slightly as the anger was starting to consume the demon. Even Mammon's patience had its limits, and he was starting to reach it.
"Dammit, where the hell are ya-"
A pathetic yelp escaped his mouth as he looked in fear at his phone, which had buzzed for a very short second in his palm. Wait, was it a notification? But from who? He had taken all the necessary precautions before leaving, so who was still able to reach his number?
His mind ran through all possibilities as he quickly checked his screen, the name of the sender making him open his eyes wide.
Leviathan: Mammon!!
Leviathan: Where are you???
Leviathan: You promised me you'd play this new game with me after coming home from RAD, don't tell me you forgot?? It's been HOURS.
Leviathan: Also the others say they can't reach your DDD and Lucifer is seriously pissed!
Leviathan: And I know you didn't break your DDD, that wouldn't explain why I can send texts now and the others still can't. Even though mine didn't work before.
Leviathan: But do you know how much time and effort it took me to find a way to bypass a blocked number?? Well guess what, the same amount of hours since you broke your promise!
Leviathan: You're reading this, right? Then send something! Anything!
Mammon backed even more into the porch of the shop, his eyes stuck to the screen of his phone. All of the blood rushing to his head suddenly made him forget he was cold in the first place. Of course Levi would be the first to find a way to contact him.
The demon's chest rose as he breathed in heavily, his hands slowly wrapping around the phone. It took him a hot minute to get ahold of his trembling fingers so as to not make any typos, his mind debating whether responding was a good idea or not, even as he hit the send button.
Mammon: Sorry Levi, gonna have to postpone the gaming session.
Mammon: I got business elsewhere and I'm not sure when I'll come back home, if ever.
Leviathan: Ew stop sounding so gloomy, you're almost starting to sound like me and tbh it would be kinda creepy.
Leviathan: That still doesn't tell me where you are! I know it's like a common thing for you to get into shady stuff on a regular basis but even Lucifer seems concerned, and weirdly enough he's not even trying to hide it???
Leviathan: He's been pacing back and forth in the common room for 20 minutes and won't let go of his phone it's starting to creep me out.
Leviathan: Hey huh, if you really were in big trouble you'd let us know, right? Like, even by typing a secret message to let us know that you got kidnapped or whatever?
Leviathan: Nevermind, I really don't see why you'd even get kidnapped, so it HAS to be that you chose to disappear by yourself.
Leviathan: But anyway! It's been 2 months now since everyone's been acting weird and I've seen and heard you enough to CLEARLY see that you're getting worse but finding trouble with witches or whatever won't help you feel better. And yes I know you've been faking being fine the entire time!! Don't think you can fool me!!
Leviathan: Believe me and the hundreds of figurines I bought!! I thought they'd help and it's somehow doing nothing, I feel like the worst fraud of an otaku EVER!!! How can I call myself an otaku when I can't even find joy anymore in the things that make an otaku what he is??
Leviathan: It's like I'm losing my identity! Wait no screw that, it's not just me, we've all been losing it!!
The three dots of a message being typed disappeared and reappeared, and Mammon couldn't do anything but watch the messages of his brother pop up one after another on his screen. A sense of guilt surfaced inside of him, and it only made him frown. It's not as if he hadn't thought about asking Levi for help, before getting himself into this mess... but for both of their sakes, he had decided that it had to be him coming here, and only him.
But suddenly, just as he expected his brother to send another message, the three dots disappeared, and didn't come back right away. Mammon's focus on his phone increased at the unexplained absence of new texts from Levi, and he waited, expecting him to continue the chain of messages he had started. But nothing followed.
It wasn't in Levi's habits to suddenly stop texting in the middle of a flood of texts. The demon gripped his phone tighter, worry beginning to grow within his mind. Was it because they were in different worlds that their phones couldn't reach properly? Or worse- had Lucifer found him out?
His heart almost skipped a beat as the three dots reappeared under his eyes, before letting another message pop up.
Leviathan: wait
Leviathan: waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait
Leviathan: OMG NO WAY
Leviathan: MAMMON TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING
Mammon: I literally haven't said anything?
Leviathan: YOU PERFECTLY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
Leviathan: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD RN??
Shit.
How did he even find out?! Well... he could only assume that it wouldn't take a genius to figure out where Mammon could have gone if not anywhere in the Devildom, but still, why did Levi have to type it out? His plan was supposed to be flawless after all.
Mammon: Sorry bro, I can't say where I am.
Mammon: I know Lucifer's bound to check all of your DDDs sooner or later and that's only gonna help him find me.
Mammon: And like I said, I have something to do, so I can't come back.
Leviathan: Wait! I'll delete all of our messages, and I'll even destroy my DDD if it means you tell me why you're there
Leviathan: Actually no don't even answer, there can only be one reason you took that kind of risk
Leviathan: Is it... because of MC?
Upon reading their name again, Mammon felt his stomach sink. The eyes of the Avatar of Greed closed almost instantly as if to avoid reading it, the damp air whistling through his teeth as he breathed in deeply. Of course Levi would figure that out too. Any of his brothers could have.
The demon leaned his head against the wall behind him, his eyes opening and staring into nothing as he contemplated telling Levi about his plan. It wasn't as if he had any backup plans considering the situation he was in, after all. And Levi had the advantage of being at home, and having access to technology and magic that could improve his search further. But the thought of Lucifer figuring everything out still haunted him, making the hair on his skin stand straight.
And yet... At this point, he had nothing else to lose.
Mammon: Ya gotta promise not to tell anyone about this.
Leviathan: Who do you take me for? I'm not a snitch!
Leviathan: Especially if it's about MC.
Leviathan: But huh... what about Lucifer? You know that if when he finds out you went to the human world, he's going to kill you.
Mammon: Fuck Lucifer.
Mammon: I'm tired of hearin' him say he's "taking care of it". He clearly knows something but won't tell any of us and I'm tired of not getting any news from MC since they left the Devildom 2 months ago.
Mammon: And what's with his excuse about them not havin' their DDD anymore to contact us? I call that a load of bullshit.
Mammon: Something weird happened and Lucifer's too stuck-up to let us know what it is.
Mammon: So I'm done waiting around to see when they'll come back, or IF they'll even come back. So I'm going to get them myself.
Mammon: Problem is, I went to MC's place, and they weren't there. Their neighbor told me that they moved out a while ago with, get this, "a guy with white hair".
Leviathan: ??????? Solomon?????
Mammon: I'd bet my Demonio and all the things I possess that it's him.
Mammon: Not only Lucifer's in on this secret thing about MC, but Solomon too. I've already booked him an appointment with my fists if he did anythin' to them.
Mammon: Hell, even Diavolo and Barbatos seem to be in it too, which sucks even bigger time.
Mammon: So that means it's just us 6 who don't know shit. I wasn't about to play nice and dumb for Lucifer any longer.
Leviathan: Mammon
Leviathan: I never thought I'd ever write something like that to YOU
Leviathan: but
Leviathan: you sound super cool rn!! That just makes me wish I could have gone too!!
Leviathan: Pleasepleaseplease let me help!!! I'm also worried about MC and I miss having them here. The atmosphere at the house has sucked ever since we realized we couldn't text or call them anymore and I huh... kinda miss seeing them around the others too.
For a split second, Mammon considered taking a screenshot of Levi's last message to sell it as "the proof that the Avatar of Envy can control his jealousy!", but now wasn't the time for that. He had Levi's approval for helping him find the whereabouts of MC, and that's all he needed at the moment. He hadn't even noticed his lips turning into a small grin upon reading his brother offering his support.
Mammon: Alright Levi listen.
Mammon: All I'm tryin' right now is to find where MC might be.
Mammon: I don't think they left the place I'm at, but I ain't about to search at every damn house there is here. Would take too much time anyway.
Mammon: So can ya use your shut-in powers and figure somethin' out? Like I don't know, catch their human phone's signal or whatever through hacking?
Leviathan: Lol? I'll let you know it's not because I spend my entire days in my room that I know how to find a human phone!
Leviathan: I know how to hack yeah, but I don't know how to hack human technology! Not that I maybe tried once or twice and it resulted in failure each time.
Leviathan: But huh... I could try?
Leviathan: Let me ask Satan if we could use magic too.
Mammon: Satan? Levi, are you stupid? Last thing we want is to get more people to know about what I'm doing.
Leviathan: Oh huh yeaaaah, about that.
Leviathan: I should have told you sooner, but when I stopped answering earlier it's because Satan caught me texting you.
Leviathan: But he actually knew you had left to the human world! So we don't have to worry! He's on our side... obviously.
Mammon: Then the two of you get on it.
Mammon: And don't catch Lucifer's attention.
Leviathan: Yeah!
Leviathan: I'll let you know when we've found something.
Leviathan: BRB!
And then just like earlier, Levi's texts stopped appearing on his screen. A sigh left Mammon's lips as he closed his eyes, and the demon allowed his body to slide against the wall behind him until he was sitting on the ground. As he stretched out his sore body, the second-born finally realized that after two whole months of not getting to hear MC's voice, seeing their smile, getting to touch them... he had gotten closer to finding them, all thanks to his brothers. He had let Lucifer's intimidation get the best of him throughout all this time, but not anymore. No matter whether his older brother would catch wind of where he was, and what he was doing, Mammon would never stop trying to bring back MC where they belonged. With him, in the Devildom, back with the family they had found and grown to love.
Closing the messaging app with his thumb, the picture of MC he had set as his D.D.D. background seemed to radiate like the sun. How dared them all try to separate his human from their first man? From the one who'd they come to whenever they had a nightmare and couldn't fall asleep? The demon who'd hug them as tight as possible in their bed after a long day at RAD? The one who'd had the chance to fall asleep with them, getting the absolute honor of seeing their face so close to his, and who'd protect their dreams from any bad thoughts and scary nightmares?
The anxiety that Mammon had worn on his face all day slowly disappeared, and a small smile was placed upon it instead as his eyes met MC's in the picture.
"I'm almost there. Ya just gotta be patient a little more."
I'll find ya.
Time went on as Mammon waited for any news of Levi and Satan's research. The rain showed no sign of clearing soon, and the demon was starting to doze off after spending his entire day without taking a single break. He could have almost fallen asleep if it hadn't been for the owner of the bakery opening the door to close his shop and asking him to sit somewhere else. So Mammon moved from one spot to another, and took shelter near another store instead.
After what seemed like an eternity of waiting on the stone steps he had sat on, his phone's screen flashed a bright light as a new notification from Levi appeared from the top. Quickly passing his wrist on his tired eyes, Mammon tapped on the new message at the speed of light. The contents made him gasp, and for a second, he had almost forgotten how to breathe, as his now wide-open eyes were glued on the content of the message.
A full-on address, along with a picture of the place.
Mammon instantly stood up at the sight of the picture, the memories of his day resurfacing in a flash. He remembered very clearly seeing this particular building sometime during his search- its height had been making it stand out very easily amongst the other buildings in the city. Nobody couldn't mistake it with anything else.
Mammon: This is it?
Leviathan: Yeah, we placed down a map and confirmed it was there.
Leviathan: Satan actually found a book in his room with a spell that can help find a person's specific item with just some of their DNA.
Leviathan: So we went to MC's room and found some hair that Satan used for the spell, along with his phone so it could narrow down the list of MC's items.
Leviathan: I didn't think Satan's room could look even more of a mess, but he spent 10 minutes shoveling through his collection and now you can't even see the floor or his bed anymore lol
Leviathan: Anyway now that you got what you wanted, go and check if MC is there!
Mammon felt his legs move on their own as he flipped his jacket above his head and stepped under the rain again, a confident grin now brightly adorning his face as he typed on his phone to reply.
Mammon: Thanks Levi. I'll owe ya one.
Leviathan: Find MC and bring them back. Then you can consider us even.
Mammon nodded, a newfound hope filling his entire body and mind. After confirming that Levi had ceased texting him, the demon turned the phone off. He opened his hand to drop it on the wet floor, and let his right foot crash down upon it, the object almost breaking in half. Mammon promptly gathered in his hand the shattered item, now completely unusable, and threw it down a nearby sewer before letting his excitement take the best of him and sprint further in the direction of the building from the picture. At least, now Lucifer wouldn't be able to track him down with it if Levi and Satan got caught.
The more distance he covered, the more Mammon could swear he was about to take on his demon form at any moment. The thoughts of MC began to fill his head even more, as if they were the one pushing him to find them, to get to them as soon as possible. For the first time in 2 months, Mammon felt truly alive.
"Almost there. The Great Mammon's coming for ya, MC!!" he let out in the form of an encouragement to himself, his legs having found their energy again as his form was engulfed further into the city.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Anxiously pacing around the room, their head low and their phone in their hands, MC was growing more and more impatient. They were supposed to receive an update from Solomon about three hours earlier in the form of a phone call, but no matter the amount of messages they'd spent in the hopes of the wizard finally answering them, all they received was a dreadful silence. Grabbing a nearby chair, they let their body fall onto the seat as their fingers typed yet another message. They couldn't really understand how they had come to grow so persistent when it came to getting Solomon to reply to them, but having no other person to talk to ever since they left the Devildom 2 months prior would do that to anyone, they assumed.
'Solomon, sorry, I know I'm sending a lot of texts, but you said you'd visit today and I'm starting to be worried and... honestly a bit lonely. I thought going out today would help, but I just sat in the park for an hour before going back home and not doing much of the day.'
'You were supposed to meet with other wizards today, right? I hope nothing bad happened. But in case you're alright, all I'm asking is just one reply to at least get some sort of human connection. Not that I had a lot of it in the past few months.'
They felt their throat tighten upon writing their last sentence, feeling the frustration spilling out of their own words right back into their face. But who could blame them?
2 months without seeing, hearing, or even texting their friends back in the Devildom. 2 months without receiving a single visit from Luke or Simeon. 2 months spent exclusively with the company of Solomon, who had been acting strange ever since and had made them move out of their home under the excuse that it was to "train them at magic in a more private setting". But more importantly... those had been 2 months without having Mammon around, and MC would lie if they said they hadn't spent several nights crying themself to sleep, wondering how the demon was dealing with their absence.
The memories of their latest departure from the Devildom played in their head like a movie as they placed a hand on their forehead. Everything had seemed alright at the time, with them getting to say their usual goodbyes to the brothers, wishing to see them again once the new year at RAD would start, foolishly thinking that they'd get to spend their time hearing their voices on a daily basis once they were back in the human world. And before they could understand, their DDD had been taken from them, Solomon had been more present in their life than ever before, and for a reason they still couldn't grasp, it was as if the brothers had vanished from their life completely. No news whatsoever. Complete radio silence.
Just thinking back to this period, and how they could have probably caught that something was up as soon as Diavolo asked for their DDD after the brothers had left... it just made them want to puke.
But nothing could make them want to do so as much as the long-awaited reply of Solomon appearing on their screen.
'Hi MC. I'm deeply sorry I couldn't get ahold of you throughout the day. I won't be able to visit you today, since my services are still required here. Besides, it's getting late. I recommend you go have a good night's sleep as soon as possible.'
'If everything goes smoothly, I should be able to come back tomorrow. Then, we'll be able to go walk wherever you want. How does that sound?'
'I need to be going, but I shall wish you a good night. Take care, MC.'
And just as quickly as he had answered, Solomon went silent again. Leaving them in this apartment they had grown to hate, this prison cell he had put them in. A place where no fun could be found for them. MC didn't even bother sending anything else after that.
Their head sunk even lower, until their forehead slowly met with the hard surface of the dinner table. The phone faceplanted onto the wood as MC's hands turned into hard fists, a deep groan shaking the walls of their throat. It was hard not to let the tears escape their eyes, but instead, they opted to punch the table several times as hard as they could, until they felt their anger diminish.
How long was Solomon going to act ignorant towards them? How long was he going to ignore their pleas to get news from the Devildom, anything that would let them know why they couldn't contact the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos? Even if the lords had been in some sort of trouble... they'd still find time to talk to their human, right? There was no way Mammon, the one they loved, wouldn't try to reach them one way or another... right?
Him who had been so clingy in such an adorable way every time they'd be at the House of Lamentation, he who had revealed to them that there wasn't a single day where his thoughts wouldn't drift to them no matter how hard he tried...
No. No amount of important duties would explain why Mammon of all demons, would ignore them like that.
They missed his antics. His entire being. The warmth he'd bring them each time he'd hold their hand before tucking his face into their neck like a pouting child, desperately trying to sneak one or two kisses in there, in the hopes he'd get to hear that sweet giggle of them. It wasn't for nothing that Lucifer had come to name them the chaotic duo of the House of Lamentation. They were two parts of a whole.
And yet, the world had dared to separate them. And MC was tired, oh so tired of not having their other half near them. The only feeling they had left, was one of pure desperation to see their greedy demon.
"I'm not asking for much... even a single word would do." MC replied to no one as they turned their head to rest their cheek onto the table. They closed their eyes, the anger slowly being replaced by a profound exhaustion. Could they really do nothing but act normal around Solomon, and accept that this was now their new life? No demons, no angels, just... humans around them?
Before they could slap the thought away, a loud banging coming from the entrance door made them straighten in their seat, their head turning towards the hallway in a panic. Their heart pounded inside their chest as the banging seemed to go on forever, until they used the back of their chair to push themself up, their legs shaking.
"S...Solomon?" They asked, way too silently for anyone to hear, and fully knowing that the person behind the door couldn't be the wizard.
As if they were waiting for an answer, MC stood there, their hand grasped onto the chair. The banging was insistent, demanding, angry. At this time of night, there were few reasons they could think why someone would mistreat their door in such a way, and MC wasn't sure they wanted to find the reason for it.
That is, until the person behind the door finally let their voice be heard.
"Oi, MC! Ya can hear me right?! Come on, open the door!"
It didn't take long for MC to let the familiar voice enter their ears, and it took less time for them to nearly stumble over the chair as their legs moved in a hurry to lead them towards the door as quickly as possible. Their hands messily trying to open the locks on the door, they were sure their mind had just played a trick on them, and the person outside was going to leave them completely disappointed, but they didn't care. This voice they could only remember so well despite the time since they had last heard it, was simply inviting them to open the door, to check for themselves whether it was true, or just a nasty joke played by their brain.
But as the last lock was undone, and the door was swung open, MC couldn't do anything but just stand there, their mouth agape.
Mammon kept on drawing breaths, his wet hair stuck to his forehead and drops of rain falling from his clothes onto the floor below, so much so that it had started to create a small puddle underneath him. As if the person who opened the door wasn't the one he expected, the demon took a step back, letting his eyes wander up and down on the human he had in front of him, almost in an attempt to check if it was really them. He too, couldn't stop his mouth from hanging open at the sight.
The two of them just stood there for a few seconds, taken by so many emotions at once that they weren't sure what to do. But right as Mammon took a step forward, his mouth opening some more to let out words that he so desperately had wanted to say for so long now, MC's face contorted into one of pure sadness before they rushed towards him. Mammon greedily welcomed them into his arms as they jumped and wrapped their arms around his shoulders, and their legs around his waist. They buried their face into his neck, the warmth of their tears mixing with the rain on his skin.
His embrace only tightened even more as they mumbled his name amidst broken sobs, the sound ever so close to his ear that even though he had his eyes firmly closed, he might have cried on the spot too. But he had found them. He had them in his arms again. After what had seemed like a million years, finally, they were back where they belonged, and he was back with his human.
Almost as if they were about to be pulled away from him, Mammon placed a hand on the back of their head, wanting to protect their entire being from harm no matter the cost. He still wasn't sure why it had taken so long for him to reunite with them despite the obstacles, but at the present moment, nothing else could matter.
The lord had finally found them, and he wasn't about to let anyone interfer between their happiness once more.
"I ain't letting you go." He whispered through gritted teeth, his head lowering into their shoulder. "Ever again."
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#obey me mammon#obey me writing#obey me angst#obey me solomon#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me satan#beel#mc x mammon#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#obey me swd#shall we date obey me#obey me fanfic#obey me fandom#obey me one master to rule them all#om mammon#obey me levi#om levi#om lucifer#om swd#om shall we date#obey me scenarios#obey me fic#om satan#vel's writing#mhms
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Count the Shadows - Bucky Barnes smut
The one where Bucky wants you to sit on his face.
Warnings: smut, a more dominant reader than I’m used to writing, pining!Bucky, all of the good stuff, second hand embarassment
A/N: so... this is a gift to @navegandoaciegas. She gave me the idea for the Graveyard series ending, and that actually inspired me to keep working on that fic that was supposed to only be a oneshot and then became the pride of my eye. I hope you don’t mind that I’m dedicating this to her 😅 It also allowed me to explore some new kinks that might be appearing thanks to her writing and so really, I felt like this had to see the light of day. But really, if it weren’t for @world-of-aus, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog and @awesomerextyphoon‘s support, I probably never would have had the courage to publish it, so thank you guys so much!
Y/N’s P.O.V.
Friday nights at Stark tower meant that something out of the ordinary was about to happen, and I’d already grown used to it, after being a part of the Avengers for the last two months. However, that didn’t mean that the prospect of a night planned by Tony Stark didn’t bring me a hell of a lot of anxiety, to the point where sometimes I’d catch myself wishing for a simple recon mission to take me away for the weekend.
Despite all of my fears and discomfort, I’d been lucky so far. Not once had his attentions turned towards me, and he never even so much as called me to dance with him during one of the raves he liked to organize, so I was able to slip by unnoticed, seizing the opportunity to drink the good (expensive) booze and talk to my friends before retiring for the night.
By Wednesday that week, it was clear that the same couldn’t be said about the next event he’d be hosting.
“Say, Y/L/N, have I thrown you a welcome party?” Was my rude awakening on that fateful morning. Until his arrival, I’d been happily whipping up some pancakes for the supersoldiers and Sam, my morning run partners. The moment his question was processed in my brain however, I froze on my spot, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Oh, now, don’t give me that look. When have I ever thrown a bad party?”
Bucky choked on his coffee, and I immediately was by his side, lightly tapping his back to help him. “I guess this answers your question,” I joked, but with a serious face. Unfortunately, Tony simply rolled his eyes, too used to Bucky and I’s “antisocial behavior”, like he usually described, to give us any attention. “Okay, so maybe not bad, but if you’re going to throw a party using me as an excuse, I have at least one request. And it’s a dealbreaker for me.”
Something in my words truly interested Tony, because instead of brushing me off he actually turned to face me, raising his eyebrows in expectation. “So what you mean is that if I don’t give you what you want, you won’t join the party?”
I nodded, standing my ground. “That’s right.” Next to me, Bucky stood straighter in his chair.
“Neither will I.” That brought a smile to my lips, and I turned to hug him quickly.
“Thanks Buck,” I whispered in his ear, relishing in the way he always held onto my embrace just a second longer than I expected. It was always like this with us. Ever since I first noticed just how touch-starved the super soldier was, I’d find little excuses to touch him. And if I ever doubted my first assumption, the way he always chased away my warmth for just a second longer was enough to prove to me that I was doing something right.
“Very well,” Tony said after clearing his throat to regain my attention. “What’s your request?”
“Only the people who live in this tower can be invited.” I was expecting a lot of fuss from the billionaire, but surprisingly, all I got was a disappointed sigh.
“Figured as much. Okay, big shot. But here’s the deal: you’ll have to stay the entire night and participate in every game we decide to play.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. That sounded fair. “It’s a deal then! All you have to do is be here on Friday night, capisce? Don’t be late.”
I should have known something was up back then, but as it were, I was just happy that I was able to stop him from filling the Tower with people I didn’t know. Not only would it help to keep Bucky relaxed (and perhaps even allow him to enjoy himself for once!), it’d also help to keep myself relaxed.
I’d never been one to enjoy big crowds, and I especially didn’t want to celebrate joining the team with people who weren’t even a part of it. It made sense. So when Friday night rolled around, it found me in a way better mood than I expected. I even accepted Nat’s suggestion and let her pick my clothes. I was feeling so great, in fact, that I felt bolder, brave enough to accept to wear a satin red dress with a deep neckline that seemed to be able to attract every man’s attention upon seeing me.
Even Bucky seemed drawn to it. And I couldn’t deny that knowing I held that sort of power even to a man of his caliber, a man that attractive, made me feel even braver. But with braveness comes stupidity, and I was brutally reminded of that fact by Tony’s smug face when I heard the dare he had for me.
Listen, I would have never accepted the idea of fucking truth or dare if it wasn’t for this stupidly sexy dress. I mean, the powers that clothing can have… They can make you blind with clout. That’s the only way I could justify what happened next.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I argued, much to Tony’s (and the rest of the team’s) amusement. Each and every single one of them looked at me with barely contained laughter, with the exception of Bucky, apparently.
“Careful, sweetheart… The dare’s already on and that wasn’t very sexy of you.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I very carefully thought out my gameplay here. I could very well retreat to my bedroom and go to sleep. But then again, this whole night had been so fun, and Tony had been really nice to abide by my wishes to only invite people that I knew…
“Fine. I’ll spend the rest of the night being as blunt as possible as I hit on you guys. After all, this is probably the only way you’ll ever get to hear me talking dirty, huh?” And with a wink in Tony’s direction, I resigned myself to face the challenge ahead. “So, let’s get on with this orgy, shall we?”
Bucky’s P.O.V.
It’s not that I was jealous. Of course, I wasn’t jealous. It’s just… hearing her say those things in front of everyone else made my blood boil like nothing else. I knew it wasn’t my place to feel this way. It’s not like she owed me anything, much less attention. As much as I wanted, she wasn’t mine, or even close to that.
Despite being head over heels in love with her, I still hadn’t gathered enough courage to even ask her out for a cup of coffee - or anything else, for that matter. And the worst part was that everyone but her seemed to know about my feelings. Which made this whole night even worse, since I was pretty sure Tony had done all of this on purpose.
So I had to sit through a lot of “Oh, please fuck me”, and “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,” none of which were addressed to me - and those were the least graphic ones. I couldn’t really blame her, since I hadn’t spoken a single word from the second this whole dare started, but still, I was sulking, and I knew it.
In fact, I was so lost inside my own head, that I didn’t even realize what had happened when she asked “Do you want me to sit on your face or what?” (which I’m pretty sure was directed to Sam) until a heavy silence took the place of the animated chatter that had been going on. Imagine my surprise when I realized everyone was staring at me.
“What?” I asked, my heart already beating out of control, looking from one face to the other in the hopes of grasping what I had lost in the conversation.
“You just said you wanted Y/N to sit on your face,” was the response I got, from no other than Sam himself, and if my heart had been pounding on my chest only seconds before, now it felt as if it had stopped altogether.
“You’re crazy,” I tried to joke, trying with all of my might not to look at the woman who was staring at me. I could feel her gaze on my face. It burned and I ached to look, to see what sort of expression she was wearing, but my anxiety was just too strong - stronger than my curiosity ever could be.
“I wish I was, man. But you literally just answered ‘Please sit on mine’ when she asked if she could sit on my face.” I was going to die. I was sure of it. My face felt so warm, there was no way I wouldn’t just spontaneously combust any second now.
The worst part was, I knew Sam was telling the truth. Because those were the precise words I thought the second that I heard the offer leave her beautiful lips. And now I didn’t know what to do.
“Fine, your room or mine?” She broke me out of my self-deprecating thoughts, surprising me so much that I automatically raised my eyes to meet hers, finding her looking down at me with a mischievous smirk on her lips. Was she joking? Was this part of the dare?
The room erupted on laughs and I forced myself to join them, praying to whoever was available up in the heavens that they would let me be and thankfully, soon enough, the conversation smoothly transitioned away from me and my stupid malfunctioning. Y/N didn’t look in my direction again, which helped with my task of trying to get my breathing pattern into a normal one once more, and in a half hour people were breaking up into small groups and going back into their own rooms for the night.
I figured it was safe to do the same. So I got back to my bedroom’s floor with my hands buried deep in my pocket, trying to figure out what the hell had happened that night, when the door to my room suddenly opened and a tiny hand wrapped around my wrist, hauling me as best as they could into my own living quarters.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
Bucky looked beyond surprised as he stared down at me with his mouth hanging open. I was tempted to tease him about letting flies in if he stayed like that, but I didn’t want to make this any more difficult for him than it clearly already would be. To be honest, I also had no idea how I’d been able to move that mountain of a man.
“What are you doing in my room?” Oh, right. That’s what he was concerned about. Fair enough.
“I wanted to show you something.” By the way he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to say anything else, it was clear that it wasn’t the answer he was expecting, but then again, he obviously wasn’t expecting me to be in his room.
“W-What?”
I grinned, immediately curling my fingers on the edge of my dress before promptly pulling it over my head and sending it flying across the room. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and it only made my smile grow bigger as I quickly got rid of my bra before finally doing the same to my underwear.
“What? Did you think I would let you suffer?” The poor thing, he didn’t seem capable of answering at all, eyes the size of plates as he stared at my naked body, practically drooling. I ran my hands over my breasts, cupping them slightly before trailing further down.
“Did you think I’d let Sam learn what my pussy tasted like? Or Steve? No, no, no, James. This is for you and you only.” Burying a finger inside of me, I made sure to let out my loudest, most pornographic moan as I slowly thrusted it once inside of me before raising it to his face.
“See how I’m soaked? I always get like this when I’m near you.” Bucky actually whimpered, knees faltering for a second as he reached out to grab a hold of himself with the wall next to us, and I laughed before raising a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “What are you waiting for? Get on your knees.”
My breath hitched as I watched the mountain of a man before me literally do exactly that, hypnotizingly staring at the space between my legs before slowly meeting my eyes with a look of pure need in his perfect face. Jesus. How the fuck was I supposed to control myself when he was looking at me like that?
I had gathered the sense that Bucky wanted me, that much became clear tonight, but I had no idea the extent of his desire until just then. Until he looked at me with pupils dilated from under his stupidly long eyelashes, breath coming out from his open mouth like he was desperate for me, desperate to taste what I had to offer.
He looked like he would do anything I asked him to in that second, and the feeling of power that thought gave me left me horny as nothing else. So my first order of business was to command, “Eat me.”
The second the words were out, it was clear that was all he was waiting to do what both of us so clearly wanted. Two strong hands grabbed me from behind and with that grasp of my ass, he pulled me to him until I was in fact seated on his face, wholly dependent on his muscular body to keep me up.
“Oh God,” he was the one to whisper, and a shiver ran through my body as he licked my pussy from clit to hole before diving in as if he was determined to rid me of all of my wetness - knowing fully well it was an impossible task.
Bucky Barnes didn’t need any guidance in the art of eating pussy, that quickly became clear to me, but I still felt the need to grab a hold of his hair just to help keep myself grounded into the reality of this moment. The way he moaned against my cunt at the action, the vibrations running through my body and making me tremble on top of him, certainly didn’t make me regret any part of my decision. It was clear he liked that sting of pain.
Bucky’s P.O.V.
I was having a hard time believing this was really happening, even though I had Y/N’s completely naked body on top of me, her cunt spread open by my own tongue, her juices covering every inch of my tongue. I couldn’t even convince myself to close my eyes to fully enjoy her taste, too preoccupied with memorizing every little thing about this moment.
And the second she opened her eyes to find me already looking up at her, I was particularly glad for my decision, if only because I got to witness the delicious smile that took over her beautiful face before she grinded her pussy against my lips.
“Fuck, you look so good like this. I could get used to this.” A jolt ran through my body at the implications of what she was saying. Before I could even fully process it, I was already responding with the only thing that occupied my mind then, “Please do.”
If I thought I would scare her away with my desperation, a delighted giggle immediately managed to calm my nerves. “Do you always say what you’re thinking?” She asked, still rubbing herself against me, so it took me a while to be able to moan against her wetness an honest, “Yes.” When I did though, the vibrations managed to be exactly what she needed to gush her release onto my waiting mouth, making me growl in excitement. She was so fucking sweet. My cock was so fucking hard it hurt, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to pleasure her, how much I never wanted this night to end.
Unfortunately for my plans, she decided to climb down from me, eyes drinking my kneeling position while she caught her breath for a bit before she threw herself on my bed, feet on the mattress so I’d get a perfect vision of her perfect pussy. Hypnotized, I didn’t even notice I’d gotten up and approached her until her voice broke me out of my reverie.
“Would you like to take a picture?” I knew she was joking, but there was no way I’d miss the slightest possibility of getting at least a permanent reminder of this night, so I answered as truthfully as possible yet again, “Of course. Would you let me take one?”
I was expecting her to laugh it off and move this along, but once more her answer surprised me. “Only if you promise me you won’t use it to jerk off to.” The confusion must have been clear in my expression, because she quickly added, “That’s what I’m here for.”
My heartbeat picked up as I struggled to process her words. “D-Does this mean you’ll want to do this again?” I watched as a small smile grew on her lips and she sat up on the mattress before reaching out to me.
“Every night, if you’ll have me.”
Another moment of silence as I struggled to accept that this was real, that this was really happening.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
I couldn’t contain my delighted giggles at the lovestruck expression on Bucky’s eyes. But my need for him was growing deeper every second, so while he stared I reached out for his jeans, quickly managing to unzip them and push them down until I could wrap my hands around his member.
“Jesus, you’re so hard.” Even without any actual stimulation, apparently just giving me pleasure was enough to get him ready for me. I could barely wait to feel his cock inside of my pussy.
“I-I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered while climbing on the bed and settling between my thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about this for the longest time.” Gosh, could he be any more perfect?
“Well, it’s happening now, James. Please, please, fuck me. I need your cock in me.” His lips looked wet from our earlier activities, and my gaze immediately fell on them when he gasped at my words and the feeling of his cock rubbing on my pussy. When I positioned the head and pulled him closer to me, signaling what I wanted, he followed without any resistance, his entire body trembling as he struggled to keep himself up with both hands on either side of my head.
“You’re doing so great, baby. God, it feels so good to be with you like this.” Apparently, Bucky grew tired of fighting against his own body, since he allowed his massive frame to fall just over mine, resting his forehead on mine.
“Fuck.” Hearing the word whispered so close to me, his warm breath dancing over my skin, while he was effectively about to do just that, felt incredibly arousing for something so small. “It’s like I can’t get close enough to you.”
In the search to feel more connected to me, he finally started thrusting, and then it was like I’d forgotten to speak altogether. Only able to hold tight to those shoulders that tempted me for so long, I struggled to keep the moans and whimpers inside so I could continue to hear the little breathless whispers that he was releasing, almost like he was speaking to himself…
“So wet…” It all only made me more desperate for the enchanting man on top of me, so beautiful, and yet so insecure of his own allure. I hoped after tonight he’d start understanding just how attractive he truly was, at least to me.
“Bucky…” I managed to whisper, calling out for his attention and earning it when his eyes snapped open to meet mine. “Bucky, kiss me.” I needed to feel those lips against mine, to have that one sweet gesture of entwinement that we still hadn’t shared. Apparently, he felt the same need, because in a second, he was onto me, mouth slowly prying mine open so his tongue could explore yet another part of my body that now belonged to him.
By then, he couldn’t contain his moans anymore, and I was grateful that I was still able to keep mine low so I wouldn’t miss the symphony of whimpers and whines, especially after he pulled away to catch his breath and his eyes met mine.
“Fuck, darling…” Each sound from his lips made my pulse grow quicker, my body warmer, that incredible high closer and closer to me. And still, because I needed to tease him, I found myself saying, “For someone who was so embarrassed about the team knowing you wanted me, you surely can be loud.”
Bucky hid his head on the crook of my neck, making goosebumps rise all over my body as he rubbed his nose against my skin, breathing me in. If I thought it was a gesture of shyness, his next words assured me that wasn’t the case at all.
“I want them to hear. I want them to know I’m yours.” The confession had the fire of desire burning brighter inside of me, and my hands slipped around his back, certainly leaving nailprints behind.
“Oh, is that it? You’re mine now, James?” The thought thrilled me to no end, but I needed him to say it, not only because I wanted to be sure there was no uncertainty in his feelings for me, but also because it made me even weaker for the soldier and the dominance he had over my body.
“C-Can I be? Please?” There was so much vulnerability in his beautiful blue eyes that the only answer I managed to give at first was the connection between our lips again, pulling him down to me so our bodies were completely glued to one another once more. My fingers buried in his locks, I pulled on them when I needed to gather some air, and finally give him an actual answer.
Bucky’s P.O.V.
“Hell fucking yes. We’ll be the hottest couple on Earth.” A shiver went through my body at the realization that she truly wanted this, that she truly wanted me. A sound escaped my lips before I could realize, and in fact, I only noticed it because she broke me out of my reverie by saying, “You know, everytime you whine, I have the overwhelming urge to just tie you down to this bed and give you a reason to do so.”
Shit. This woman made me weak. And the moment I lost control of my own weight, she took advantage of it, inverting our positions so she was the one on top, while managing to keep my cock nestled deep inside of her.
“Do you want to cum, sweetheart?” Hearing the filthiness that spilled out of her lips only made me hotter and hotter, my hands flying up to hold her waist as she began to ride me. “Tell me just how badly you want it. Say it, or I’ll leave you right here, right on the edge of bliss, and I’ll cum on your thigh instead.”
I heaved loudly, trying to force my own tongue to work, but the sight of her breasts bouncing with her movements was too hypnotizing. I would never regain full control of my body again, I realized, for as long as she wanted to keep me around. But instead of feeling lost, like I did when the Winter Soldier took over, all I could feel was peace.
She wanted me. She wanted my body, my soul, every part of me. Despite every missing piece, every scar. Everything anyone had ever done to me, everything I’d done to so many. And I’d gladly give it all to her, forever.
“Please, please let me cum, ma’am.” The name left my lips before I could realize, but it made her smile. And right then, I knew I’d done the right thing. Her movements picked up, her hand searching mine to guide my thumb to meet her nub, and as soon as I started rubbing it, she gasped in the most melodic of sounds.
“Cum for me, James. I wanna feel you cumming inside of me.” Jesus fucking christ. I didn’t have a choice, my body reacting to her calling like she was a siren and I was helpless. I felt helpless. It wasn’t difficult to see that I liked it, though. I liked being under her control. I liked how she pulled me apart and held me in place all at the same time.
“If you don’t take your thumb away, so help me God.” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts, realizing her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe properly now that she’d reached her climax with me. I smiled sheepishly before adjusting on the bed, right when she climbed down from my body, and a whine escaped my chest despite my better wishes, making her look at me with an amused smile.
“I’m sorry, I just… I kinda miss you already.” Her smile grew bigger, her eyes twinkling under the moonlight as she leaned over me to kiss me, and I couldn’t help it. I just had to hug her closer, have her falling on top of my chest just so I could invert our positions and kiss her some more.
“I want something that’ll show them I’m yours.” I admitted once she pulled away to gather her breath, and her eyebrows rose in surprise, but also interest, I could tell.
“Like a collar?”
“I was thinking more like a love bite, but I don’t mind.” Her giggle was the most adorable sound in the universe, I was sure of it.
“Baby, I’ll let you fuck me in front of them, if it’ll help your insecurity,” she soothed me, and the thought of having everyone see us together, fully understand that I belonged to her, electrified me. “You’re mine now. You can be damn sure if anyone tries to flirt with you, they’ll have to deal with me. And I’ll make sure they know I’m yours and only yours if they try to chat me up.”
The thought made me smile, and I laid back on the bed and pulled her to rest against my chest, my hand instinctively coming up to play with her hair. “I can get used to that.” We stayed like that for a while, just breathing in each other’s presences, relishing in the comfortable silence between us, until I felt the need to break it.
“Can I kiss you again?” I felt her smile against my skin, before she pushed away to reach for me and connect our lips once more. God, I don’t think I’d ever get used to knowing I could have this anytime I wanted. “One more,” I begged when she pulled away, and she pretended to think for a moment before shooting me a mischievous grin.
“Only if you come fuck me in the shower.”
The only thing I could think to say in response, as I watched her strut in the direction of the bathroom, was “Fuck, you’re sexy.”
#my fics#bucky barnes smut#smut#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes reader#bucky barnes reader insert#bucky barnes reader inserts#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes oneshots#I'm gonna reblog it with the taglists later
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Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 7)
(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4) (chapter 5) (chapter 6)
series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind. you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman-- even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.
word count: almost 3k?
warnings: slight breeding kink (but only if you speak romanian aksjghakgjhg), angst, violence (in the form of a fistfight, which the reader isn’t involved in)
Just as you always did, you woke up to sunlight streaming in through the lace curtains, and a cool breeze blowing by. What was peculiar was Sebastian next to you, sleeping peacefully as his chest rose and fell with relaxed breaths. You let yourself watch him for a moment before you decided to try to sneak out for a cup of coffee. Problem was, the bed was sort of creaky and it was very difficult to move without making sound. Your plan was to move as slowly as possible, keeping your weight evenly distributed over the mattress, and it worked rather well— right until the last second, of course, when a loud shift of the boxsprings beneath you made Sebastian stir and blink open his eyes.
You were about to apologize for waking him, but he grinned and slipped his arms around you, bringing you back to where you started and surrounding your body with his warm, muscular form.
“Bună dimineata,” he hummed as he pulled you closer, his voice even deeper and more gravelly than normal.
“Bună dimineata,” you did your best to repeat it back, making him smile even though your pronunciation wasn’t great. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” he replied softly, heavily accented and clearly more a recreation of the sounds you’d made than real English, but still intelligible and so painfully adorable as well. “A fost uimitor aseară.”
“Last night…” you began, but you didn’t even know where to begin. What could you possibly say about that? Would it even matter, if he can’t understand it. “God, you’re fucking amazing,” you blurted out with a soft laugh.
“Sa o facem din nou,” he growled as he pulled you closer and kissed you, slipping his tongue into your mouth instantly. A more self-conscious you— as in, you yesterday— would’ve worried about morning breath, but you now couldn’t taste anything but him and couldn’t feel anything but his lips on yours and couldn’t do anything but weave your fingers into his hair.
You moaned when his kisses trailed down your neck, and you wanted nothing more than to melt into his body one more time, but you had other things to attend to.
“I need to get up,” you announced as you tried to escape from his grasp, but he held you tighter and brushed his lips over your shoulder.
“Nu, nu, nu te dice,” he cooed, making you laugh and squirm. “Stai in pat, fă dragoste cu mine toata ziuă.”
“I have to get up, I’ll be right back,” you tried to explain but he stayed ever vigilant as he held you tight and licked over the shell of your ear. Finally you managed to get him to stop, as much as you didn’t really want him to, allowing you to slip out from under the covers and find your robe where it had been discarded on the floor.
He watched you as you crossed the room and popped into the bathroom for your bag, pulling your birth control pack out of it and using a handful of tap water to wash down your morning pill. “Ah,” Sebastian seemed to have a realization from the bed, and you giggled.
“Told you it was important,” you grinned.
“Probabil cel mai bine să nu ai un copil cu un străin,” he nodded, “dar nu sunt sigur că m-ar fi deranjat atât de mult dacă te-aș fi însărcinat.”
Following suit, he stretched briefly before getting out of bed and searching for his discarded jeans and boxers. You made no effort to hide your ogling as you watched his cock swing between his legs. Even soft it was thick enough that you couldn’t figure how it ever fit inside you (the delightful soreness between your legs reminded you that it was no easy feat). He took note of your staring and grinned devilishly, leaning against the wall to give you a better look. “Îți place ce vezi?” he purred.
“Should’ve known this would all go straight to your ego,” you chuckled. “I’m gonna go downstairs for some coffee. Do you want some? Cafea?”
“Da,” he nodded, as he slipped his clothes back on, “mulțumesc.” Funny how his idea of getting dressed still left him half-naked.
Foolishly, you expected him to let you pass, since you were both going to benefit from your trip to the kitchen; but of course he had to slip his arms around you from behind and give you just one more embrace, making you sigh and relax your head back against his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head and you hummed happily, letting your eyes open to look up at him before taking a moment to look out the window you happened to be standing right beside.
You were just hoping to appreciate the countryside scenery, meaning that you were rather shocked and confused to see a car pulling up. When it stopped and the driver stepped out, your eyes went wide and your back suddenly straightened itself.
“...Michael?” you gasped. You wrenched yourself out of Sebastian’s grasp and started to run down the stairs. He called after you but you ignored it.
Barreling down the stairs and out the door, you found your husband walking up the driveway.
“Honey,” he frowned when he saw you, “I’ve been trying to find you since you left— what the hell is going on? Why are you wearing a robe?”
“It’s hardly nine in the morning,” you defended before you realized there were much bigger topics at hand: “Michael, what are you doing here?” you asked, after a few seconds of confused stuttering.
“I’m taking you home!” he replied, as if it were obvious.
“Oh my god,” you groaned, “don’t play stupid. Do you think I’ve been here against my will, or by accident or something?”
“No, I saw your letter,” he sighed.
“And you saw the part where I said not to look for me, and that all future communication would come through my lawyer?”
“You’re my wife,” he replied coldly, “I think I’m within my rights to talk to you directly.”
“You shouldn’t have come here. I was actually happy before you showed up.”
With perfect timing, Sebastian stepped out the door behind you, looking to you and to Michael, and back. “Ce se întâmplă?” he asked you.
“Who the fuck is this?!” Michael asked accusingly.
“I’m gonna give you a chance to ask me that again, in a way that doesn’t make it seem like you have any place to judge what I might be doing alone with a man,” you hissed. “He’s just the groundskeeper, Mike.”
“Then why is he shirtless?” he exclaimed.
“I don’t know! He… does that a lot!” you exasperatedly shouted back.
“Look, I’m not angry,” Michael sighed. You laughed bitterly.
“Good, cause you have no right to be.”
“But I think it’s fair if I’m worried about you spending months alone with strange men.”
“Oh, strange, is that the problem? Strangeness? Would some more familiarity— perhaps a familial relationship— between you and these men make it easier on you, Mike?”
“Honey, please—”
“Don’t call me that,” you grimaced.
Michael stormed towards you, and you felt Sebastian step closer to you as well, wrapping an arm around you. Having him by your side made this significantly more awkward, but it made you feel safer, too.
“Hey man, get your hands off my wife,” Michael growled, pointing a finger at Seb.
“He doesn’t speak English,” you rolled your eyes.
“Well, I’m not sure you do either— otherwise you would realize that we’re still married, and you need to come home.”
“Just because you won’t sign the papers doesn’t mean we’re still together,” you reminded him sternly as shook your head.
“I’ll end it with your sister, is that what you want?”
You laughed, because you were afraid if you didn’t that you would cry. “Jesus, Michael! Are you hearing yourself? This sounds like a greek tragedy, or fucking EastEnders! Next I’ll be discovering I have an evil twin, and you’ll bang her too!”
He was a lot more offended by that than you expected. “It was never just sex. I love her. But I love you more,” he clarified, suddenly getting serious.
You chuckled weakly, hardly believing what you were hearing. It’s not that he was ever particularly nice, or romantic or anything, but at some point in his life he had been incredibly intelligent… and now he barely made sense at all. “Wow, you sure do know how to make a girl feel special.”
He frowned, clearly losing what little cool he’d had at first. He had always had a bit of a temper. “For better or for worse, we’re still legally married— damn it, we’ve been together for how long now? And you’re ready to throw that all away?”
“No, but you were,” you spat back.
“But I wasn’t, and I’m still not. You’ve gotta hear me out—”
“I don’t have to do anything—”
“No, you’re not listening to me—” he talked over you, again.
“I don’t owe you any more of my time—”
“Damn it, why won’t you just listen!” he growled, grabbing you by the arm suddenly. Instantly, Sebastian stepped forward and pushed him back.
“Sebastian, it’s okay,” you tried to soothe him.
“Hey, could you maybe tell your boytoy to keep his filthy hands off me?” Michael demanded at the same time.
“Mai bine ai grijă,” Sebastian hissed, also at the same time.
“I literally can’t,” you answered Michael. “I told you he doesn’t speak English.”
“Yeah, well, I think some things transcend language,” Michael bit back. “Tell me something, pal,” he addressed Sebastian, “did you fuck my wife?”
“Sper că nu spui ce cred că ești,” Sebastian shook his head, clearly on the end of his rope.
“Mike, leave him alone,” you demanded, but it came out sounding so much weaker than you meant it to.
“Did you,” Michael pointed to Sebastian, going so far as to poke him in the chest condescendingly, “fuck—” he mimed thrusting his hips, and you grimaced— “my wife?”— finally, he pointed to you.
Sebastian certainly understood that; and, in lieu of an answer, he socked Michael right in the jaw and sent him straight to the ground.
“Oh my god!” you yelped, dashing over to where your husband was crumpled into a ball on the gravel and kneeling beside him.
“What the fuck?!” Michael gurgled, holding his face in shock and pain.
“Are you okay?” you asked anxiously, spinning to look at where Sebastian was standing and looking much too proud of himself, shaking out the hand he’d just hit Michael with. “Sebastian!” you scolded, making him give you a defensive look.
“Ce?” he shrugged flippantly, though he clearly felt a little guilty when it became obvious that you were irritated with him.
And that was how you ended up here, standing in the living room and tapping your foot quickly, staring at the couch where Michael sat with a bag of ice held to his jaw, Sebastian beside him (though as far away as possible) resting with another on his hand.
“You had no business coming here,” you informed your husband coldly.
“You wouldn’t know about this place if it weren’t for me,” he reminded you. “Did you think I wouldn’t find you?”
“I thought you wouldn’t care,” you corrected.
His silence was stern, and he gave you one of those looks that used to scare you but now just made loathing and pity sink down in your chest. It was ambiguous if he was too angry to reply or if he really had no defense. After all, what reason did you have to believe that he would care about your leaving?
"If you're here to make me rescind the divorce order, it's not going to happen. I'm not leaving with you. I'm not forgiving you. Please just go," you sighed.
"That's not why I came. None of that is why I'm here," he mumbled. "I came here…" he straightened up slightly, raising his voice confidently. "I came here to tell you that I love you. I need you. And I want you back."
Now that he was looking right back at you, suddenly you couldn't take it anymore and turned your gaze away again.
"Whatever you need me to do to fix this, I'll do it. We'll get through this. Isn't that what marriage is? Fighting for each other, struggling together?" He stood up and approached you, reaching out to rest his hands on your shoulders; you almost flinched when you felt his touch, but resisted the urge, glancing up at his face before looking over at Sebastian whose injured hand was twitching as he looked away with a tight jaw. "Tell me how to make this right, please."
You tried not to look as Sebastian as you processed Michael's request; similarly, it seemed he was trying not to look at you. But even if you ignored this new, peculiar romance in your life, your marriage was still broken beyond repair and you couldn't imagine anything that could change that. "I'm sorry," you finally whispered, watching Michael's face fall, "I don't think there's anything you can do."
He released you from his grip, less angry than you expected; more somber. "I want to stay and work this out," he explained. "Better yet, I want you to come back to London— come back home— so we can be together and discuss everything there. But I'm only going to ask you one more time before I leave: stay with me. You don't need to forgive me, or even love me again, at least not yet… just give me a chance to try to earn everything I took for granted."
You'd imagined this moment so many times: cursing him out, making him grovel, kicking him to the curb. To be completely honest, you'd even imagined potentially taking him back. But now that you were here and it was, somehow, real, your desire for vengeance was fading along with your desire for reconciliation.
"I have something I need to give you," you whispered, walking upstairs and going back into your room, getting on your hands and knees to search the floor. Finally, discarded in a dusty corner with slightly uneven floorboards, you found the ring you'd tossed aside the night before. Fighting back against the tears welling in your eyes, you picked it up and came downstairs, holding it outward for Michael to take.
"I'm not taking that back," he refused, shaking his head. "You keep it for a while longer, until you're sure this is really what you want."
"I'm sure. I'm moving on. Take it back," you demanded. He sighed but reached out and plucked it from between your fingers, pocketing it though still wearing his own golden band. "Besides, my sister might want it."
He scoffed, turning as he began to walk away. "You're cold."
"Frozen solid," you agreed. "Goodbye, Michael… drive safe."
He shook his head and made a sharp exhale as he walked away, nearly slamming the door behind him. You stared off into space as Sebastian silently watched you; you didn’t want him to see you cry, but it was starting to seem unavoidable as your lip quivered and your eyes grew wide with tears.
“Shhh,” he soothed gently, standing up and stepping forward to pull you into his arms. “Nu plânge, e în regulă.”
"God, I'm so stupid," you whispered between sobs muffled against his chest. "I'm so fucking stupid…"
He whispered to you and kissed the top of your head, repeating one thing over and over that you couldn't make out well against the sound of your own crying filling your ears.
But even without knowing what he was saying or what it meant, it made you feel better.
As evening approached, you realized a new predicament had arisen: would Sebastian stay in your room again? Would you go to his? Or would you sleep separately, maybe even drift back to just being essentially housemates after a unique one-night stand?
Your questions were answered suddenly when Sebastian suddenly came to the couch and scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal a little before you relaxed and let him carry you to his room. He all but threw you onto the bed, climbing on top of you and kissing you deeply as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck.
Already you felt more comfortable with him than you sometimes felt with people you'd known most of your life; you didn't feel self-conscious when he ran his hands over your body, you didn't try to suppress your moans when he kissed your neck for fear of sounding ridiculous— and maybe that was just because it was such a fantastical situation, so unlike yourself and so far from home, that it was easy to feel like a different person with him.
Or maybe it was that you'd spent so long trying to be somebody that people liked, and now you were being yourself for the first time in decades.
You couldn't really be sure. And since your brain short-circuited every time Sebastian whispered something in your ear that just sounded filthy regardless of what it actually meant, you didn't have the time to think about it.
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Everything below was made by Me, Eye, and Ethan over the course of like 3 days
Thank you (with additions from sleepy my beloved)
Like
Okay
So
Wilbur isn’t the oldest
Techno is
But it’s a war run empire, they take pride in their troops and armies and triumphs
The soldiers come first
So Techno is the commander in chief , the general
Wilbur, second born
Is heir to the throne
To the diplomatic side of the empire
and Tommy Gets shit
He doesn’t even understand why Phil had another kid
Of course there is the situation where Techno or Wilbur dies, or one of them steps down, but it won’t happen
Was he really born to be the understudy
he was born as a backup
Tommy was an accident but they’re not gonna let the public know that
like he's the Zuko
Phil doesn't really pay attention to him so his mother picks up the slack
Wilbur is 21
Techno’s 23
Tommy’s 17
However I have a really good idea for prince Tommy, just like what if he doesn’t like the way that people treat him? Like he doesn’t want all these yes men he wants to be he wants to be told now, he want somebody to tell him he that’s against the rules he just wants him like structure he just want someone to hate him he want someone to not like him and say no and tell him that he’s stupid which is why he does all of the stupid shit that he does
Ever since he was like 4
Everyone has said yes
He wants to defy them
He wants to just do something to make someone say no
That and he lowkey
He wants ~~Phil~~ Wilbur to pay attention to him
Is a Little Shit who causes so many problems on purpose to try and find someone who will push back against him
He wants someone to give him structure and discipline but overall he just wants his family’s attention
He’s broken shit, thrown temper tantrums, he’s started fights and he’ll he’s even snuck out and stole things
He’s never been stopped
People consider him snobby and spoiled
He's a brat
He gets everything he wants, but he doesn’t really want it, he just asks to see if they’ll tell him no
Tubbo = Stable Boy
Ranboo = Prince of another country (probably the americas)
Ranboo could definitely fit the role of an overseas royal prince who Tommy sees as a regal, spoiled, uppity little shit. Like Tubbo, who Tommy sneaks everywhere, has met Ranboo and likes him. Tommy can't possibly see why, he's unbearable.
Bench Trio = Best freinds
I think that Tommy and his brothers were always very very close
they just have jobs and shit
They took over Phil's shit
they probably drift apart as they get older, Wilbur and techno have duties and Tommy starts his quest for attention, they grow apart from their little brother without realizing it
Tommy and his mother (kristin) are always and have continued to be close
she definitely chides him, and tells him quietly to not do things for all of his "misbehaviors"
but there is only so much that she can do, because she has the duty to not make a scene
that and she's not who he's looking for attention from
You may be asking "How is crime recognized, identified, discussed, and atoned for?" more specifically, "Is it a 'you stole my bread so without asking anyone I'm cutting your hand off' or is it the US court system" ~~You may also be Ethan~~
The answer is:
like the UKs
But more like
Okay so the Supreme Judicial system, but Phil (and then Wilbur) has teh final say
Court system, but with Phil overseeing everything
instead of a judge
HOWEVER, that's in the national level
in smaller villages, its more of the cut your hand off system
because the judicial system isn't regulated
So bonus questions:
Punishments and the identification of whether a crime counts as a crime?
soldiers can call crimes out, and citizens can file reports
Phil's not really shit, he just doesn't show Tommy any attention because he's busy with the other two
Just honestly doesn't even care about most shit Tommy does
Like, doesn't pay attention to it until it affects him, he's busy running a country and training the boys to running a country
I don’t think they (the brothers) realize how badly everything is affecting Tommy
The only one who knows anything about the full extent would be his mom, and she’s in a similar boat to Tommy
Phil doenst really see her much either
Not like she could “Make a Scene” trying to get Phil to pay attention to his youngest, to actually love his child, he’s barely around
Kristin and Phil spend time together at night, but during the day everything is for the cameras
its like the UK royals, how they do shit just for the people
And Phil doenst want to hear about the kids at night, he wants to spend time with his wife
Tommy has stolen a car and will do it again
Just fucking hopped in and took a joyride
With Absolutely No Repercussions
Do you think Phil ever tries to hire like, a nanny or something? In the aftermath of the Car Incident? Yes, and it never worked
Tommy, like 15 at the time, pissed as hell as a random ass woman tries to tell him to go to bed at 8:30 pm
Tommy wants somebody to tell him no but not somebody hired to tell him no mannn
Tommy goes to like parties - like ragers
he has a network of really famous friends like young actors and shit
dude is a party animal, underage drinking, rumors of drugs, he’s the PR Teams worst nightmare, but they’re not going to say anything
The press makes up SO MUCH SHIT
The press once said that he had done cocaine when it was really one of his friends
Tommy adopts two dogs (hello Betty and Walter) without asking either of his parents
Betty is short for Elizabeth
He brings them in off the street
Literal abandoned street dogs and he goes, mine now
He like, walks down the street with sunglasses on, and just doesn't look at anyone as he walks the dogs, who have like black nice leather leashes
The paparazzi always finds him walking the dogs
like a modern celebrity
Mans can and will call the paparazzi on himself - because he is a drama queen
ETHAN Tommy voice "hello pa pa. I have hired two new staff, pa pa."
"Huh?"
"they have found work in this palace as emotional support animals, pa pa."
"....ok."
tommy voice "he didn't even blink, elizabeth the fourteenth"
END OF ETHAN MAKING FUN OF THE BRITISH
By the way just to clear things up with you all, Tommy addresses Phil as "Father"
most of the paparazzi's pictures of Tommy are him flipping the camera off
He poses for them
just sees a camera and fucking sticks his tongue out and flips them off
He’s wearing some atrocious outfit while walking his dogs and he just has a full on fashion photshoot of poses for them
If his dad won’t give him attention at least they will
Tommy befriends some of the staff
he hates a lot of the butlers tbh
thinks they're stuck up
but likes to gossip with the maids, and sit in the kitchen as the chefs cook lunch
"Heyyyy, chef!"
"Your highness, what is it, are you hungry?"
"Can't a man just talk to his chef? Befriend his castle staff?"
"Ah."
that and the kitchen gives betty and walter treats
Top ten Prince Thomas microaggressions
Number One: he calls Phil "your highness"
For context, kings are referred to as Your Majesty
He calls Wilbur Your Majesty
It was a joke when they were younger, a habit from then on, but now it’s to spite Phil
Tommy spends an ridiculous amount of money on clothes all at once, purely to see if Phil would yell at him for using the family debit card for it
He never wears the clothes
He doesn’t particularly like any of them anyways
Instead he donate them all anonymously
Tommy may be a brat but he isn’t wasteful
By the time Tommy’s 12 he’s started acting up, and it escalates slowly until he hits 15 where things just start snowballing and he gets worse and worse
he's definitely nicknamed by the press as some sort of party animal or fratboy
a spoiled brat
He’s 16, and he knows his place in the family, he is forgotten and glossed over, but he won’t be ignored, not if he can help it
The Public gives him the attention he wishes his father would give him, he walks his dogs with the paparazzi tailing after him, just hoping that maybe one scandal or one horrible picture will eventually be enough to make his dad actually See him
he'll tell the paparazzi what they want to hear
and give every magazine a story to tell
they notice him
he just wants somebody to tell him no, somebody tell this boy no without being paid to please
Tommy probably has like, pierced his ears or smth. Gotten tattoos.
he has holes in his face yes.
he pierced his ears and his nose
He has a tattoo on the inside of his finger that matches with Tubbo and Ranboo
Maybe the picture of him plastered from last weekend will make his dad reprimand him
Maybe the weed found in his backseat will get his Dad to ground him
Maybe the bottle of fucking pills he was “holding for a friend” but got caught with Will get some sort of reaction
and its not like he's only doing it for attention
he starts it for attention, but he loves it he does
he has fun, he loves his friends, he likes the parties and the air
but, he also loves the attention, he's not gonna lie
Tommy who took adderall at a party once but it didn’t do anything for him, he seemed to function a little better actually
Tommy who knows Techno has adhd and takes adderall for it, Tommy who puts two and two together Bc he’s not fucking dumb
Tommy realizing his dad never cared to even get him diagnosed or treated
and Techno does notice, he does figure it out, but he does either a "hey..." or a "m8 I'll just get you your own if its helpin you focus" and tommy is furious
Tommy's life here is just
'trying to be yelled at HARD MODE'
Just wants to be screamed at, lowkey
I think, Wilbur avoids the tabloids
And the press
And the news
However, his advisors often read him the shit about Tommy - or anything about him
But they never see the pictures
They don’t see the picture of Tommy drunk on a strangers balcony
They don't see how bad it is
Tommy however? LOVES reading what the press has to say about him
Phil sees it however,
And he’s so disappointed
He gives Tommy so many talks but it never works
Because it doesn’t get him to love Tommy, to care about what Tommy does
Not like their mother
And he never makes a scene, not in the way Tommy wants to
It's all about "YOUR RUINING OUR IMAGE"
not: "YOUR RUINING YOUR LIFE"
He never asks if Tommy is ok
He never asks if he’s safe
Tommy's mum however, SO MANY AWKWARD "STAY SAFE" TALKS
He doesn't just fucking jump off shit because of her, he's slightly less reckless so that he can come home alive to her
I just think that Wilbur, no matter how busy, would find time to concerned yell at his baby brother if he were to find out about the pills
Weed and alcohol? Not great but ok.
Pills though?? He is full blown concerned Wilbro there
His brothers care. Their father is busy. He's a jerk sometimes too.
Wilbur does put out the fire a bit
He’s glad Wilbur had his best interest in mind
But man
The news headlines
They do him dirty
Shit like “Prince Tommy Caught Doing Cocaine at Frat Party” really fuck him over
They really just try their best to make him look like shit 95% of the time
Tommy loves it, just a little
Bad press is still press
He laughs at the headline Bc he knows he wasn’t doing cocaine, but Phil doesn’t, wilbur and techno don’t know that
It’s a tense week after that headline is released
His mom doesn’t even know if Tommy would have actually done cocaine
They just don’t know
Kristin asks him
She’s the only one who believes him
I think Wilbur wants to believe him, Techno too
But it’s hard to, especially when you’re not even sure you know your own brother anymore
Wilbur says something along the lines of being disappointed in Tommy, if he thought Tommy was trying to be better
Tommy scoffs and says he is trying, but that it’s real rich of Wilbur to be or entering to care now
This isn’t even the worse headline
One time a blonde kid got picked up from the same party Tommy was at on a stretcher, he had had an allergic reaction
Some shitty journalist saw and automatically assumed it was Tommy
They ran with the story that the prince had fucking overdosed for at least a week
The things they say are close to the truth but not quite
The PR Team tries their best to help but
They don’t even know what’s true or not
Tommy goes on a bender for a week, and walks into their office with coffee and pastries to apologize
They all know that presents mean a rough week of damage control
But Tommy imports them these Bomb ass donuts so
Fair trade really
Also heaven forbid tommy gets seen with a girl
It’s the worst shit
Tommy gets caught, drunk off his ass, pushing a couch out a window
(To be fair the people were moving soon anyways, they didn’t need the couch, it was a going away party)
And the next morning, recalling what he did
He orders up those pastries and calls the coffee place
Swings by to pick up the coffee and picks up the pastries all within the next two hours and delivers them on the third with an apology note
It’s fucking DAMAGE control
Thinking about Tubbo and Ranboo being Tommy’s DDs when they can
They are
When Tommy’s handler isn’t around
Them doing wild shit together but not Wild Shit
Tommy teaches them how to do burnouts and donuts in a fucking lambos in an empty mall parking lot
Ranboo goes everywhere incognito, Tommy practically flaunts his rank, Tubbo is considered a nobody and doesn't have to do anything but show up in casual clothes. He has a uniform for stablework.
Ranboo's parents are approving of his friendship with the fledging prince, as they hope he can wrangle Tommy to regality and he's building positive relations between the two kingdoms.
Phil is disapproving, worried Tommy will taint Ranboo and his rep and cause a tense air between the two kingdoms. Tommy loves Phil's worry, he practically bathes in it, it's the attention he so craves.
Tommy definitely will hold Tubbo's hand when he walks with him, because the headlines all scream Tommy is the gay?? and while he's very incredibly straight, he finds this hysterical.
Ranboo isn't always in Tommy's kingdom and rather spends most of his time at home. He might be second to heir or the crown prince himself, but he does have to spend time in his own country. Tommy face calls him a lot and he and Tubbo are ecstatic when he announces he's going to visit
I imagine he's second to the throne because that means he can focus on building relations instead of training to be king.
Older sibling Fundy, gets chronic illness, and Ranboo has to take over the throne for a bit
One of Tommy's worst stunts was hitching a ride to the Americas/Ranboo's kingdom without telling anyone.
Whether by boat or plane, he was gonna go visit his young king friend no matter what.
I say "young king" but he's still a prince. Just filling in for fundy
But all eyes turn to Ranboo and Ranboo is stumbling with attention he'd never known. Tommy has to help, doesn't he?
He expects such a punishment for stowing away to visit, but the headlines are... positive. Prince Tommy's friendship with Princr Ranboo becomes.... legendary, practically. Tubbo is always excluded from the news, even when he comes with.
Never too fantastical for classism
But no, the headlines see Tommy's visit not as the young, rebellious prince stowing away, but as a young boy risking his skin to visit his stressed friend.
Tommy is appalled.
And Tommy just groans and shows him the phone
And Ranboo laughs and goes
“There there Tommy, I’m sure dragging me to a frat party will be enough to ruin the good press.”
“Maybe get a dui, you’ll have diplomatic immunity so no jail time?”
“Boo, I wouldn’t get jail time even if I wasn’t em-mune, I am simply too poggers.”
“Sure man, let’s go with that.”
Tommy’s like “maybe I need to actually start doing hard drugs”
Ranboos just like “no -“ just “Please god no, your brothers will kill both of us.”
The Boo is terrified of Techno and Wilbur
Not as royals though, simply as Tommy’s older brothers
Like he knows about Tommy’s issues with validation and feeling unloved, he knows his Brothers are often very busy
But he also sees the way they look at Tommy, and the way they look when people talk bad about Tommy
He knows if something were to happen and he was to cause harm to Tommy or cause Tommy to cause harm to himself
It probably wouldn’t end well for him
Wilbur and techno try as hard as they can
But they’re SO busy
That they can’t do much especially when Tommy’s so persistent on doing his shit
Tubbo is great with the horses he tends to, and Tommy adores them. Ranboo is an excellent, regal rider and Tommy and Tubbo are more rough and ballsy, so races are fair and fastpaced.
Ranboo once got bucked by a royal stallion and Tommy and Tubbo never let him live it down.
I imagine Tubbo lives on the property, as some servants do. He either doesn't have a family, has a bad one, or his family doesn't live close to the palace.
So Tommy 10/10 sneaks to the servants' quarters and he and Tubbo sneak out to ride the horses.
I feel like Wilbur makes more of an effort after the pills and cocaine incident, he tries to ask Tommy about the headlines
Purples is Tommy’s friend
Rich family, old money
Throws a lot of the parties Tommy goes to
Purpled and punz :handshake: Tommy
Frat Boys
I think you guys are underestimating the time that Tommy spends at the castle
Like he still has school, and usually 3 days out of the week he follows around his brothers like an endearing little shit
But those 4 days where he’s gone (which includes weekends) plus nights, he’s doing shit
Also, yiu know Pongo right
101 Dalmatians
That’s how Tommy walks Betty and Walter
They are like standing completely proper and walks straight
ah yes, the royal bitches and also betty and walter are there too
the paparazzi taking pictures of Tommy and the dogs
and Tommy turns, taking his sunglasses off, and smiles big and wide "They have names you know? You should stop callin' them 'the royal dogs'."
One of the guys, he's familiar with the prince turns on his camera and asks "what're their names Prince Tommy?"
"Betty and Walter. Give them some respect."
Tommy visits Ranboo sometimes. Ranboo was looking for him one day and just found him standing in a long hall, staring at a portrait.
It's Ranboo, just barely younger, hands folded behind his back, the perfect picture of regality.
Tommy is staring at it because he knows that at home, there is a portrait of Wilbur looking like that, and one of Techno, and one of Phil and Kristen, and one of himself.
But somehow this image of Ranboo is.. haunting
Not because it doesn't match with the Ranboo he knows, but because it does.
It haunts him because he can stare at his portrait for hours and never see himself, but this is so plainly Ranboo that it's chilling.
Ranboo stands beside him, hands folded behind his back as they always are when he is in nice clothes and his eyes are visible. Tommy glances over and Ranboo is facing him, but staring up at the picture. It's still him.
The clothes are different and his hair is longer now, but Tommy can't tell the difference past that.
He knows that Ranboo is what his family wants him to be
He knows that Ranboo is him if he hadn't strayed, the same past
Ranboo knows exactly what’s going through his head right now
And he knows exactly what he needs too
They get fucking piss ass drunk in Ranboo’s room order takeout and FaceTime Tubbo
They can party tomorrow, Tommy doesn’t need to be in public right now
ANywyas
Tommy and his mother have a wonderful relationship
she teaches him literacy and history, they have a tutor teach him maths
they eat breakfast together every morning
the whole family does
but his mum tries to eat lunch with him at least 3 times a week
he goes out for lunch the days he doesn't eat with his brothers or mom, out to some resturant, sometimes, they trash it or party, sometimes he just brings Tubbo, no big group, and they just chill
With Ranboo in line for kingship (the way royalty works is that if the ruler dies, it will always go to the next in line of blood, never by marriage. Even if every heir was dead, it would still not go to the ruler consort but instead to a family member of the late ruler), rep is so much more important
he can't really be seen with Tommy sometimes
not on the bad weeks
not when Tommy just destroyed a bnb or set off fireworks with his friends, or was caught throwing chairs into his friend's pool
Tommy likes sport cars
big car guys
He has an exorbitant amount of fancy cars
its truly like
disgusting
how many cars he owns
Wilbur makes fun of it Bc the kid is just now legally old to drive
But Wilbur has so many expensive instruments
Some of which he doesn’t even know how to play yet
to be fair
Wilbur doesnt go breaking his instraments
Techno, techno has swords, which makes sense Bc he’s a general
But the amount swords he has just hanging on his wall
Never meant to be used
It’s so many
I feel like Tommy has a few cars that he doesn’t even let get scratched tho much
His babies
he has his expensive cars that he wrecks
and then his expensive cars that he treats like gold
They’re named
Clementine is this horrendous orange car that he absolutely loves
Its a bright orange ferrari
(He loves it Bc it was a gift from Phil, one of the first cars in his collection)
(Tommy doesn’t know that the idea was his mother’s, his father didn’t know what to get him)
all of his cars have padding in the back for his dogs
Tommy hates purse dogs, the girls with them are always fake and horrible
but he wishes his dogs were that small
Easy to transport
but they got all gangly limbs like him
and stand up to his hip
Henry is his sleek black classic mustang convertable
its what he drives when he doesn't want to be followed by the papp
It’s what he drives when he takes The BT to lunch
its not that the paparazzi doesn't know its him
they know
but he's not in one of his bright fucking obscene cars
The press and Tommy have a weird sort of understanding
He creates their headlines and they let him have moments to himself
If someone breaches that
They risk getting blacklisted
that car was what he drove to his grandmother's funeral in
im not naming his grandmother, but all royals live like forever
Clementine barely sees the road I think
She’s kept in top condition
By Tommy’s own hands
But she probably doesn’t get driven to the parties
Or the brunches
Or the clubs
She's used pretty much exclusively for black tie events
Tubbo is his driver for those Bc he trusts no one else with the car
And he has to exit her before she’s parked
So Tubbo valets and then meets him inside
It’s also how Tubbo gets into the black tie events
so its modern right
so its like thousand-dollar suits instead of capes
so, Tommy just refuses to wear blazers and suit jackets
he always wears his button-ups rolled to his elbows
Maybe, maybe you’ll get him in a vest
But most of the time it’s a button up, rolled up sleeves, and the tie is most likely incorrect or untied
The only reason it’s correct half the time, is because Wilbur makes him let him tie it
Tommy won't wear the jacket because he prefers to roll his sleeves up - he's able to do anything, party or just like rough housing with his brothers, or helping out the staff
Wilbur won't wear a tie, or a button up most days, opting for a high-end sweater and loads of jewelry; its just much more his style.
Techno won't wear a vest because it restricts the places he can hid weapons, and he almost never keeps his tie tied.
Tommy trying to walk past Wilbur to leave with and untied tie
“Wait! You know you can’t leave like that, come here.”
Tommy’s groans and slumps over but walks over to Wil anyways
“I’m just gonna untie it halfway through the party, you know i will.”
“Well, I’m not letting my little brother walk a red carpet with an untied tie, you know I won’t”
The second half said in a mocking tone of voice, very clearly mimicking Tommy’s whining
It’s a soft moment, they stand there together, brothers
And as Wilbur’s pat the finished tie, they make eye contact and both of them have undeniably fond looks on their faces, damn they’re brothers n shit
“Thanks Wil.”
It’s quiet, it’s soft, it’s Tommy
“Of course.”
Just as soft, just as quiet, wholly Wilbur
Wilbur clears his throat breaking the soft atmosphere of the room
“Now go, you gremlin. Don’t be late”
Wilbur ruffles Tommy’s hair, careful not to mess it up too much
Tommy rolls his eyes And quickly heads for the door
“Bye Wil! Love you! Don’t wait up!”
Wilbur quickly yells after him
“Love you too! Don’t do anything stupid!”
“Oh Wil you know I can’t promise that!”
Wilbur just rolls his eyes and returns to his book
Yeah Tommy stays away from tobacco I think
Just weed
and I wouldn't be surprised if like hits peoples vapes sometimes, but doesn't smoke cigs
for sure, its stressful
Wilbur smokes cigarettes though
and he can't act out like Tommy can
and Phil loves him..
Techno and Wilbur watching Tommy rebel in the ways they never got to
They feel kinda sad, that they never got to be kids like that, sad that Tommy feels like he has to act out for attention
he gets to do shit
like he gets to be a real teen
the whole, dumb rich 17 year old experience
like yachts, and expensive hotel rooms, and sport cars
And sure they probably wouldn’t have been going to frat parties or crashing brunch places, but they see him with BT
See him have actual friends
And they’re happy for him
But it hurts a bit
And Tommy's hurting too
It's a lot
but its like
even if Phil wasn't shit
its a lot of attention
like everyone is watching them at all times
Techno and Wilbur have to stay refined in the eyes of the press
Tommy gets to put on a show for them
Yeah yeah
Do you know how much a drunk picture of Prince Tommy is worth?
Too much
Some random guy on his first paparazzi job, gets a pic of Tommy, shirt mostly unbuttoned, tie tied around his head, drinking out of a beer bottle, and flipping off the camera while stumbling out of the most expensive hotel in the UK
The guy never has to work again
Purpled son of some billionaire, and Ranboo a literal prince is with him
They are both laughing at him
Tommy swung on a chandelier that night
A picture of that ends up online, some socialites Twitter
The amount of people in her dms for that picture?
Ludicrous
Like just the random pictures from Snapchat stories
Magazines pay thousands
Yeah the amount of double takes people have done going through their friends Snapchat stories like
Just tapping through
“WAIT WAS THAT PRINCE THOMAS????”
So, Dessert Drinks
It’s alcoholic beverages that have like chocolate or gram crackers or maybe candy in them
That are meant to taste like a dessert
So there’s chocolate cake margaritas, or like s’mores drinks
They’re Tommy’s favorite things in the world
Everyone thinks that he’d like the like strong, burning, whiskey esk stuff
But no
He wants the sweetest thing you got
Like he’ll drink straught vodka, but not if he doesn’t have too y’know?
He also like wine strangely enough
The like really expensive wine
Bc it reminds him of Wil
They have it down in the cellar
Techno is the whiskey dude
Or like 1942
Which is just a really bougie tequila
He just likes the shit that burns
Tubbo will drink literally anything
He’ll eat anything too
It definitely comes from the spot that he didn’t have that many choices like Tommy, but he genuinely just likes anything
Which is why Tommy really likes to treat him out to fancy fucking restaurants
One of Tommy’s favorite past times is spoiling his loved one
Fucking loves giving presents n shit
It's his love language
Ranboo doesn’t pay for anything when he’s visiting
Tommy insists on paying
Tommy has millions from the throne, he will use it
Plus he uses his daddy’s card so like, Phil can afford to spend the money
Oh he has one of those black cards doesn’t he
And by he I mean Phil
But you know, Daddy’s card
Black amex all the way
Boujie motherfuckers
Tommy's drunk like persona is different depending on the environment
When its Wilbur and Techno having to deal with Drunk Tommy
He’s like an excitable puppy, he would switch from rowdy to sappy real quick for his brothers
So they’re trying to get a drunk Tommy to bed but Tommy’s 100% clinging to them
Just full of affection
Techno tries to leave to go study and drunk Tommy just looks so fucking sad
Kicked puppy
He’s very much turning on the little brother charm, full scale pouting, whining, nicknames and all
making grabby hands, sitting on thr ground, fluffed up hair, shirt all wrinkled
"Fucking - fine. What are you gonna do without me, hm?"
He’s a god damned puppy and it’s hard to believe this is the same kid who got in a bar fight last week
he hangs off the chandeliers of boogie hotels
he also trashes his friend's rentals
on the other hand, he hugs his brothers
and steals Wilbur's crown
when he wears Will's crown it goes over his eyes
Still does after all these years
He’s grown but Wils head is simply too big
Tommy has his own crown of course
he just doesn't wear it as often as Wilbru does
Wilbur wears his all of the time
Tommy wears his when
A. he's drunk and with friends
B. at formal or royal events
he likes wearing it when he's partying
still thinking about drunk Tommy and his brothers having to deal with him
He makes techno give him a piggy back ride
He can walk fine, he just wants a piggy back ride man
Can you blame him?
They all really miss being little
They miss being able to be kids n shit
when their mother took care of them
and their father did all the king shit
And when Techno would give Tommy piggyback rides in the garden
When Wilbur had all the time in the world to learn how to play guitar
Even if it comes from Tommy getting drunk off his ass they’re glad they can still find the childish joy that they once had y’know?
Techno gives Tommy a piggy back ride to his room, and Tommy steals Wilbur’s crown and they talk and it’s nice
And as everything winds down Wilbur plays his guitar
And it’s so similar to when they were younger man
...
but then,,, Wilbur gets called down for an emergency meeting
and Techno has to make sure the guards are doing their rounds
and Tommy's left all alone in The Prince's Chambers
and people wonder why Tommy likes partying
fills the time, doesn't it?
He wakes up cold and alone and hungover
And he calls Tubbo and they just fucking day drink man
It’s a bad two days
Yeha but basically after this night he and Tubbo get fucking drunk as hell and they don’t come back to the castle for two days
And Tommy is barely sober during those two days
After those type of days happen Tommy always goes completely straightedge for a week
He doenst need to develop an addiction y’know?
Plus the chaos doesn’t have to happen drunk
He’s pretty irrational sober anywyas
half of the parties he's at he's not even drunk
sometimes he'll get high
but he just likes the adrenaline
and just hanging and being fucking assholes with his mates
POV you are an emotionally wrecked prince who is hanging onto this present as proof that your dad knows who you are at least in the slightest and you find out it’s not actually a gift from him but something your mother told him to get you
He didn’t even think twice just called the dealership and asked for the car, didn’t even know which one it was
mmmmm Tommy wrecks Clem that night
It’s not a good night for anyone
Got drunk as hell man
No dd
Car crash
I don’t think Clem is totaled
And Tommy is ok
But she’s scratched and dented and it’s just a representation of how Tommy feels
Something about Clementine being symbolic of hope and the idea that his father knew him
And with that crashing down
Clementine was bound to crash too
Tommy gets out with some bruises and Clementine can be fixed
But it happens on a public street so it’s everywhere
Tommy wrecks Clem
Then fucking goes on a bender
just destroys shit
parties so he doesn't think about it
and then he fucking crashes
Wilbur and Techno and Kristin all know what the car meant to him, what it symbolized to him
So when there’s a headline and a picture of Tommy staring at a wrecked Clem, they don’t know how to feel
maybe he mentioned something about upgrading Clem to Phil, or offhandedly at family dinner
And Phil asks something like “Right and when did you get this one?” Very rudely y’know
And Tommy’s like, it’s the one you got me for my birthday last year, and Phil just says something about how he has to be more specific because he doesn’t even know which one that is
And Tommy feels everything crumble around him and he just tensely says, “never mind...” and goes back to his food
The other three watch the whole exchange like, “fuuuuuuuuuck”
And then as soon as dinners over Tommy’s out the door man
He’s gone
he doesn't take the dogs, which means he's causing damage
He doenst even take Tubbo
they can hear the handler hand Tommy the keys
Tubbo comes to Wil to ask if he knew where Tommy was and that’s when they realize Tommy’s going out to cause real damage
And Tommy’s phone is turned off
They can’t contact him
Tommy gets handcuffed
he won't get arrested, but he'll get brought back in a police car
he fucking like crashed into a poll on purpose
like it was less on purpose and more like he definitely wasn’t not trying to hit something
And then they fucking breathalyzer him and he’s drunk as balls
Straight vodka type night
there's a bottle in the cupholder
He gets out when he wrecks and you just see him dead eyed staring at the scratches on her hood
The dent in her door
The cracks in the windshield
And he just takes a swig of the bottle
He lets the police take the bottle and handcuff him, taking him back to the palace
Clem is towed back too
He doenst care man
this is bigger than party to distract Bc it’s all he’s thinking about even drunk n shit
So I feel like he’s absolutely crushed
he spends like a week or two in a depressive episode won't leave his room, won't talk to his dad
and then he asks his mom "why didn't you tell me?"
and she just purses her lips and and shakes her head
and he's out
he needs to leave
he doesn't need her pity
and he just goes to Purp's and parties
because he just wants to have fun for one night before he learns that everything is a lie
His brothers are there as much as he lets them be
Tubbo too
Ranboo would try to make it over after seeing the headlines
he gets on a jet
and goes as soon as he sees the news
cause Clem was Tommy's baby
He loved that fucking car man
And then
Boom
One dinner is all it took to ruin everything
Phil's just left like "what'd I do?"
Techno is straight faced
Wilbur rolls his eyes at Phil
And Kristin just looks stressed
She’s still staring the the door Tommy all but ran out of
none of them finish dinner, Kristin waves the butlers over to clear the plates
They don’t, and Phil is just so confused and frustrated and he doesn’t know what happened
Top 10 Prince Tommy Headlines:
10. Mourning or Disrespectful: Prince Thomas caught smoking outside grandmother's funeral
9. New Connections? Prince Thomas and Prince Ranboo seen outside Palace walking Royal Dogs
8. Protective Older Brother; Crown Prince William shielding Prince Thomas from cameras while walking down London streets
7. When Will He Stop? Prince Thomas continues his week-long bender
6. Another Frat Party: Prince Thomas found stumbling drunk after rowdy night at The Ritz London
5. Boy Crazy? Prince Thomas and Mystery Boy seen dancing at Crown Prince William's Birthday Ball
4. Is Prince Thomas's Rampage Over? The Prince seen hungover, nursing a coffee at London Branch Costa Coffee
3. Time to stop; Prince Thomas caught doing cocaine at socialites party
2. A good friend - Prince Thomas flew to the United States to help Prince Ranboo with new responsibilities
1. When is enough, enough? Prince Thomas crashes after driving drunk, arrested.
10 Tommy doesn’t smoke cigs so mans was just getting high at his grandmas funeral
he was real close with his granny, it was a sad day
It was because his father said something like “oh, I didn’t know you were coming Tommy”
It was his fucking grandmother Phil
Tommy just puts his sun glasses on, and sits as far away as he can
Number 5, the boy is Tubbo, Tubbo thinks it’s fucking hilarious, Tommy is pissed
Some of those headlines seem like they’re from the car month
Obviously number one is
But then the bender headline
Then the coffee one
And then the Wilbur one
They seem like a series of events
big month for the press
Tommys hungover and he calls Wil asking for him to pick him up
And Wilbur drops everything Bc he’s just glad Tommy’s coming back home
wilbur fucking glares at the cameras
Tommy's used to it
And then the press tries to mob them and Wilbur Almost breaks decorum
Like almost fucking yells at someone who gets too close
and Wilbur never does that
he's so in-line
he never breaks the rules
but goddamn if they take one step closer -
He’s been especially stressed, and all he wants is to get his baby brother home man
He’s been smoking a lot more since the wreck
He just wishes he could make everything better
Tommy relishes in talking to the press
Wilbur will clart someone who gets to close to his baby brother
The press who’s never seen Wilbur as anything other than composed and charming suddenly being faced with a very angry older brother who smells slightly like cigarette smoke
Wilbur in the Pogtopia coat but it’s some designer piece that’s expensive as hell
It’s his smoking coat
And it’s what he picks Tommy up in
So he smells like smoke
And not the tasteful cologne he usually wears in public
just like a dark overcoat
really expensive wool
Wilbur using it to cover them from the cameras
when they were younger, like 16 and 12, Wilbur would hide Tommy
like no one got a picture of Tommy until he was 14 or 15
Kristin really hid the boys when they were kids too
Tommy trying to peak out and make faces at the camera
it was illegal to get pictures of them younger than 10
like immediate blacklist
And also maybe some legal issues
Wilbur pulls Tommy's hood up over Tommy's head
And it’s very older brother of him too, he pulls it over to protect his face but then cinches the strings to be a little shit
Those Wilbur and Tommy brother moments comps exists in the universe too
But it’s just shit like that
Tommy has a great support system
He really does
His brothers love him
His mom loves him
He has two amazing friends and a bunch of other great friends as well
And sometimes he feels like a brat for throwing all these fits over his dad y’know?
Wilbur always tries to like, keep an arm around him when they're doing red carpets
And keeps Tommy sitting next to him at Royal events
but also like, steals food off his plate
and ruffles his hair
Tommy whispers the fucking worst jokes about the dignitaries and nobles and Wilbur has to keep a straight face
god thats tommys favorite thing to do
he tries so hard to get Wilbur to laugh and lose his shit
The fucking big boobs bit
But it’s Tommy whispering it to Wilbur completely out of context and randomly at a gala
ALSO
THE WHOLE EXTENDED FAMILY BULLSHIT
TOMMY HATES IT
LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS LIKE AUNT TO HIM?
HE DOESNT KNOW HER
But Royal Families are always big on that shiit
They try to hug him n shit
And Tommy depending on how Brave n shit he’s feeling (how fed up he is) will either politely excuse himself or straight up say no and step back with a glare
he's honestly uncomfortable around the strangers
who say they're family
like he's too sober for this
He needs a god damned drink
But he’s in a vest and a nice tie and his crown is sat proper on his head
And he can’t have a drink
god he's like a little doll, he plays by Phil's rules
the crown comes on and he's the proper prince
He fucking hates it
he sips on Wilbur's wine, and does the whole "tequila for water" thing sometimes
Flask in his sleeve
Techno catches him with the flask once and is just impressed
god is that a look on Techno's face
He sees Tommy slip it from his sleeve and somehow sleight off hand take a drink
And it’s just a raised eyebrow and a head nod that says
Good for you
Bc techno also needs a drink during these events
Sometimes Tommy will spike his and Techno's drinks
as Wilbur regally sips on wine
Wilbur fucking also secretly wishing he had a flask during the drier events
Wine drink just isn’t enough sometimes
Wilbur puts on his best face
and pretends he wants to be there
and gives out a warm smile, and raises a glass
god he fucking hates it sometimes
and sometimes he loves it
but man, does he hate it sometimes
Tommy complains and Phil makes a passive aggressive comment about how
“Oh but don’t you love parties Tommy.”
Wilbur sits between them
The table goes
Techno Kristin Phil Wilbur Tommy
Tommy just sneaks another sip of the flask
he doesn't have time to deal with his dads shit
Slumps back in the seat
He probably wouldn’t even try to hide it after that
Not like Phil is actually looking at him
He can let the press have it
He doenst care
just like leaves the flask next to him
under teh table
and jsut takes large swigs from it
Tommy maybe having a group of his friends crash one of the stuffy events
Not an important one
So fucking dedication ceremony to some inane building
He just invites a wild group of socialites
It’s nice
It’s not as wild as a normal Tommy Innit party
But it’s not a stuffy fucking boring ass royal meeting
they just bring some fucking whiskey into the back room and chat shit
Tommy fucking has a group of friends crash this gathering
It’s not wild
But it’s not stuffy
It’s nice
Tommy even drags Wilbur back for at least a little
and that takes a whole lot of work
It really does, Wilbur isn’t even a little tipsy off the wine, and Phil been by him the whole time and it’s just been hell, he can’t get wiobur away from the “socializing” hes doing
but when Wilbur is a bit tipsy he just becomes more charasmatic
truly a king
Less someone putting on a mask for their father
A little bit more authentic
he's a natural, sipping wine with one hand, and shaking hands with the other, crown propped beautifully on his head, million dollar suits hanging off his frame
It’s nice to see his brother in his element
its a bit sad
but its nice
A little yeah, Wilbur’s
Wilbur’s leaving him, not really but
Wilbur being king is-
It’s going to be hard
Different
More than it is already
Wilbur will always love him
But eventually he’ll be too busy for Tommy
Just like Phil is
And it hurts
But that thought is what makes Tommy take a drink of his flask and drag Wilbur to the back room
Wilbur doesn’t have to forget him yet
Tommy looks real regal too
Wilbur wishes that Tommy could see what he sees
But he knows that Tommy’s self worth issues would take more than a nice hug and some warm words to fix
Tommy looks regal, and the gold crown really fits with the whole golden boy aesthetic
and he laughs, and makes conversation with everyome
and everyone eases up around him
Wilbur wishes that Tommy saw what he sees
also
Tommy and Ranboo's texts have been leaked once
Wow so many dog pictures dude
but also
:sparkles:state secrets:sparkles:
That was hell to clean up
it fucking was
it used petnames (which the public is never supposed to know about the nickanmes of royals fun fact)
and said shit about Phil
and detailed Fundy's illness which isn't public
and talked about meetings that Wilbur forced Tommy to attend
Tommy was terrified
Ranboo too
He was so scared someone would be angry at him for it
He doesn’t think he could handle be yelled at for this thing that wasn’t even his fault
like of course he could've not said it over text
but one of his best friends lives an ocean away
and his life is just all about secrets
dont make this something too
:sparkles: hackers :sparkles:
if someone god a hold of Tommy's IP, or Phone, or Phone number
or
dms
they could be using instagram, twitter, or snapchat to have some of these converstaions
dms can get leaked real easily
Mmmm you ever think about Crime Bous
Because all I can think about is when Wilbur does get out of the house, and just like every event they go to
Tommy isn’t a fucking party boy then, he’s just Prince Thomas, Crown Prince William’s baby brother
And they always get photographed and shit
But they have a great time
They’re always smiling when they’re together
Sans Wilbur being a really protective older brother, and when their grandmother died
It’s nice to just go get lunch together at that one specific cafe they’ve been going to for years
Or just walk the dogs together
Just hang out and be brothers
They sit at the same table every time, and Tommy has gotten a Raspberry Lemonade since he was 8
When they walk the dogs, Wilbur holds Walter and Tommy holds Betty
Sunglasses on, big wool overcoats, and pants that were sewn just for them
And they’re seen walking out on the streets during big events a lot too
To like take a breather
Tommy has made a habit of allowing the press to ask him questions whenever they find him
Wilbur on the other hand always knows exactly what to say to press that come up to them
He always shoos them off with a polite “we won’t be answering any question right now thank you” and a blinding smile
And Tommy’s making a face at the press from over his shoulder
Either like sticking his tongue out or making some sort of face at Wilbur
As he gets older, he stops doing it as much because it gets a bit tiring, everything is tiring
But he does it every once in a while, usually a sharp grin over Wilbur’s shoulder accompanied by a middle finger
when like press sees that Wilbur smokes like a lot
hm
big thin
and I feel like Wilbur would straight up be like "its not a big deal, its completely legal"
and hes like smoking 8 cigs a day, but its fine
He doesn’t have an issue
It’s just a little stress relief
King at 21 is a lot to handle
and maybe the stress is so much that it becomes a problem
but hey its his relief
its legal
he's fine
That’s Wilbur’s mantra most of the time
he falls asleep in Tommys bed a lot, waiting for the teen to come home
wilbur does
he finishes a pack, and sighs, rubbing his eyes
The empire is on the brink of war, it always is
He looks in Tommy's room, its empty
And he sits on the bed, waiting
10 minutes later he's asleep
The sheets don’t smell like Wilbur, and Wil thinks that’s what makes it’s so comforting
They don’t stink of nicotine or Wilbur cologne
The smell like Tommy
and while that smell like expensive booze, and coconut shampoo
its perfect
and the dogs are in Tommy's room too
he's a little less alone
Betty is the cuddler
She’ll come up and sleep next to Wil
but she wont do it to just anyone
its a bond, its trust
its the fact that Tommy likes Wilbur
she growls at Phil
she nudges at Kristin, LOVES kristin
anyways
its lonely and sad
because Tommy usually doesnt come back
Tommy snakes back in early in the morning and tucks Wilbur in
Though most times Wilbur falls asleep in Tommys bed
Uncovered
Completely dressed
He’s lucky bettys fur is sleek otherwise his very expensive clothes would be covered
I think Wilbur more often then not will wake up with Tommy in his arms, and that makes him very happy
like, Tommy comes it at 5am, and just snuggles next to Wilbur
It’s makes Tommy sad to know his brother is waiting up for him to never come
But at the same time he’s always so happy to see him when he gets home
I imagine sometimes butlers come to get Wilbur for work, and Tommy makes them leave so that Wilbur can sleep in
"Hello your highness, we came to fetch King Wilbur for his morning briefing"
"He's sleeping."
"Well, I can see that Your Highness -"
"So let him sleep."
"Prince Thomas -"
"Let. Him. Sleep. Okay?"
"Yes, Your Highness."
I've decided that Tommy is the big spoon
in these vulranable moments, when Wilbur is weak, Tommy kind of holds him
like obviously there are a lot of tims, where Wilbur wants to hold his baby brother
however, Tommy kind of holds Wilbur, like wraps himself around Wilbur, and puts Wilbur's head in the crook of his neck
this happens when Tommy comes home to find Wilbur in his bed
either this, or Tommy curls into a ball and rests his head against wilburs chest
Tommy has daddy issues
Wilbur has the weiht of the world
Techno has ptsd
Phil: fuck you my kids are completely fine!
Wilbur’s nicotine addiction
Tommys abandonment issues
Technos fucking PTSD
Once, when the empires war was getting really, really bad, and Wilbur had to decide life or death shit
He smoked a whole pack in a day
And then just kept going
His hands wouldn’t stop shaking
why wouldn't they stop fucking shaking
Tommy stopped partying that week, he isn’t ignorant, nor a fucking dick
He was Wilbur’s right hand for as long as he needed him
Despite how badly he wanted to party until he could see straight
His brother needed him
His king needed him
And he will gladly serve Wilbur as long as he would have him
He stood right behind Wilbur
Every decision
He was right behind him
Even if it meant constant decorum and constant royal dress, Tommy was there
And that was a grounding fact
If Tommy hadn’t been there Wilbur thinks he may have lost it that week
Sometimes the only thing that kept Wilbur’s hands from shaking terribly was holding Tommy’s hands
When the advisors and court had left
Tommy would take Wilbur hands and make him do breathing exercises
Wilbur wasn’t allowed to look anywhere other than Tommy’s eyes
They would get through this
Together
They would, Tommy would make sure of it
Tommy in the room also made everyone a bit nervous and loosen up around Wilbur though
Because sometimes they act like they can boss Will around
And Tommy is stone faced, and has the media wrapped around his finger
The court knows that all it would take is one “scandalous statement” from Prince Thomas to end their careers
Wilbur could fire them, but he’s stressed
Any other day, he’s a fucking FORCE to recon with
But Tommy? He’s here to ensure the best or their careers would end
And you know that Tommy has at least 3 sources in the biggest news outlets in the empire
He could get ANYTHING out there
Wilbur’s throne is the biggest in the middle
Two thrones smaller aside him
Within the like office / study / planning room
Tommy's hasn't been used until just then
Tommy finds it quite uncomfy
But he can deal
Also Tommy drops the nicknames for the week or so
No “Big Man”
It was “Will” and “William”
Your Majesty at one or two points
But that felt a little too formal for both of them
Too alienating
Tommy learned a whole fucking lot of fucking politics that week
Not that he didnt listen in his lessons it’s just that
Well
He can’t not listen if he’s not there
It’s different IRL too
Seeing all the decisions
It’s terrifying
And he’s exhausted
Dressing nicely and talking for 12 hours a day about politics
And life / death decisions
So many cuddles dude
Just permanently cuddling if they’re not presently working or “coping”
And I think
That although Wilbur is the one who’s going through it
When they cuddle, Wilbur likes to hold Tommy
Just in the sense that Tommy’s here and safe
In the midst of all the death around Wilbur
He needs to know that his person, his kid is alright
Plus having this one thing this one routine helps him feel a little on control during this out of hand time
:sparkles: Prince Tommy PR leak :sparkles:
I talked about how Tommy was close to his grandmother
and how he was smoking outside of her funeral
maybe it was during that time in his life
really dark place in his mind
smoked and drank every day
Wilbur smoked a lot during that time yet
they probably drank together a few times
like straight up vodka
Just they’re so young and so tired
and so its like, pictures of Wilbur and Tommy (and just Tommy) drinking in the parlor, and in the like, bar area of their private living area, dark eye bags, red eyes, just straight from the bottle
Both of their ties were undone, no jackets, sleeves rolled up to their elbows, Wilbur's top 3 buttons are undone, they're both like manspreading
like they're just at their lowest, particularly Tommy, but Wilbur was having an adjacent bad time
Tommy's hair is a fuckin' mess
HOWEVER, they're both still clean shaven, neither of their shorts or trousers are wrinkled or stained
They may be going through it, but the royal image waits for no one
How does the castle react? Immediate lock down.
Interrogations or some shit
none of the princes are allowed to leave
they have to do clean up
they write scripts essentially for Tommy and Wilbur to adress the press
they need to send out a memo that they don't agree with underage drinking
its all structured, scripted, and written by advisors (and their father)
major damage control
which is just not what Tommy needs right now, because he's like trying to work through his grief
and Wilbur has a fucking fight with his father about that
Phil does not care
They fucked up
Someone else fucked up
And now they’re going to be big boys and fix it
Like Phil's going to Tommy's room to get him to look over what his quick press tour
and Wilbur jsut stops him in front of the door
"He's fucking grieving - Let him have a moment will you? Don't you know how close he was with Gran?"
"You messed up. He messed up. Now you're gonna be big boys and fix it."
“You’re horrible sometimes you know that?”
“I am your father”
“Then act like it, your majesty”
meanwhile Tommy: in bed, hasn't slept, major depressive spiral, cuddling Betty, Walter standing guard at his door, holding onto a blanket that his grandmother gave him
just - can't even cry anymore
just empty
Literally just despondent
Staring at the ceiling as Betty noses his face
like good luck getting to get up, let alone read shit
He hasn’t showered in days
He is very much not presentable
like it's only been a week or two since his grandmother's death
and he still is processing
He is no where near done grieving
#tommyinnit#wilbursoot#wilbur soot#philza minecraft#philza#technoblade#tubbo#ranboo#SBI#sleepy bois inc#sleepyboisinc#LILLYS NEW AU#THE KING THE WARRIOR AND THE PRINCE#long post
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Another totally unprompted ask, on the assumption that you are definitely no longer in need of them… another thing I’m trying to work out about Loki characterisation in preparation for perpetrating fic torture on him is how suicidal the poor sod is most of the time. This is another thing I’ve seen referred to a lot but only in passing. Though obviously this is a pretty triggery topic, so ignore if you want.
I am always in need of totally unprompted asks, otherwise I just assume no one wants to talk to me lmao
So, hoo boy. I have been mulling over this for, apparently, three days now bc there's just ... there's a lot to unpack here. Putting under a cut for obviously triggery content and also for length bc fml.
In my opinion, the response to "how suicidal is Loki most of the time" is "very, but whether or not he wants to do anything about it varies from moment to moment" (see what I did there? I'll see myself out). In other words, I have always had a headcanon that Loki is consistently, passively suicidal. This is a headcanon that comes straight from TDW, bc I'm certain that Loki never had any intention of surviving their mission. And that could be a whole other post, really, but the point is that even though this is a TDW-centric headcanon, I have come to adopt it as applying to Loki in general as well, not just in those specific circumstances.
When I say passively suicidal, I mean that Loki is just sort of ambivalent about the value of his own life. He feels like he doesn't deserve to be alive, and feels like there's little point in being alive. Which - I don't mean to sound all gloom and doom, like, poor uwu emo Loki (and I kinda hate that I have to pause to disclaim that, no, I don't just have a fixation on Loki being depressed for funsies/the aesthetic/whatever); I think that this mindset stems from really complicated places that I'm not sure I can articulate, but I will try.
I view Loki as someone who suffers from a severe inferiority complex, and I feel like it stems from being abandoned as an infant. Loki's life started with a traumatic event and, even if he doesn't remember the event itself, the feelings he experienced stayed in his subconscious. Feelings of loss, of fear, of despair and abandonment, of suffering - these are all feelings that burrowed into his bones and lived there for his entire life, feelings that colored how Loki viewed himself as a person as well as how he compared to the people around him.
Keep in mind that Loki didn't know he was abandoned until the events of Thor 1, obviously. We don't really know how old Loki is, in human years, but I have always assumed that he and Thor were at least adults (not teenagers), maybe the equivalent of early twenties - and the reason I bring that up is because it means Loki made it all the way to adulthood carrying the weight of a trauma that he did not remember or even knew had happened, so to him, there was no real reason for how wrong he felt. There was no explanation for the feelings of loss, of neglect, of fear. So on top of struggling with those feelings, Loki was also burdened with the alienation that comes with wondering why one can't just be like everyone else, why one can't just "snap out" of depression, why one's sense of self-worth has always been lacking.
So imagine what it's like to grow up as Loki. He was traumatized as an infant. The trauma has been with him his entire life, along with the confusion/alienation of not understanding why he feels the way that he does, and then on top of that, his basic personality lends itself toward introspection and isolation, so he likely felt even further removed from Thor and from his peers. Loki's too smart for his own good, and he's got an enormous capacity to feel and I feel like this is a combination that works against him as much as it does for him, bc it probably means he spent a lot of time examining himself and identifying all of his perceived flaws - and then berating himself for said flaws.
People with depression are probably pretty familiar with the bully that lives in your head, the one who is always there to remind you that you're stupid, or ugly, or that nobody likes you, or that you have nothing of value to contribute to anyone, etc. Loki's no different; he's got that bully in his head, too. Add onto this the fact that his brother is literally perfect, that he feels his father doesn't love him (or love him as much), that his interests in things like magic are looked down on in his culture, and that he's a prince (meaning that along with the privilege comes pressure, and being in the public eye, knowing that everyone around him is comparing him to Thor as much as he compares himself to Thor, well.) and you have a total clusterfuck of a mindset, and Loki's been existing inside of that clusterfuck for nearly all of his life.
I always go back to the quote where, when filming I think the vault scene, Kenneth Branagh directs Tom by saying, "This is the moment where the thin steel rod holding your brain together snaps." And it's such a significant moment for Loki bc this is where it all crumbles for him, learning the truth, but I also fixate on the "thin steel rod" part of the quote bc that's not how one would describe a healthy, stable person's mind. The implication, to me, has always been that Loki wasn't that stable to start with due to his general upbringing, his internal struggles, and his personality, so of course the devastation of learning he's adopted, and Jotun, would send him over the edge. One doesn't go from zero to 60; one doesn't fall over the edge unless they were balancing fairly close to it in the first place. And to me, the "thin steel rod" basically equals the aforementioned clusterfuck of a mindset.
THE POINT IS. (Holy shit, I ramble.) This is the foundation on which I'm basing my headcanon that Loki neither values his life nor feels as if he even deserves to live it - bc his default mindset is one of inferiority, of loss, of pain. And I think that going from being a general unstable person pre-canon to being passively suicidal post-canon is a thing that happened because, somewhere between the vault in Thor 1 and the dungeons in TDW, Loki just stopped caring.
Life is exhausting for everyone, but even moreso when your mental load becomes more than you can carry. Loki is exhausted. His experience is that things just keep getting worse and worse for him - he's never been valued, he's always been found wanting. He discovers that he was literally thrown away as an infant, unwanted and left to die, and things haven't gotten much better for him since then. Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. His plans spin out of control. He's unable to prove his worth and his value and when he is, in fact, rejected, he literally tries to kill himself (only to survive and end up in an even worse situation).
It all just continually goes downhill, and Loki is fucking exhausted. He's done. He has no hope that anything is ever going to change - he will never be valued or even seen, he's unable to connect to anyone, he has no family (aside from Thor, but their relationship is so fraught with pain). As far as he's concerned, his life has been nothing but a waste since he was born and if no one else values it, why should he?
So - passively suicidal. He places no value on his life, and doesn't shy away from situations that could cost him his life. It's possible that the only reason he's not actively suicidal is bc his previous attempt not only failed but led to such a horrible situation that he's probably too afraid to intentionally seek out death again. He doesn't want to fail and end up worse off for it.
And - not that you asked this in particular, but - my biggest disappointment in the series is that none of what I've just written is addressed in a satisfying way (to me). That is, we don't get any real explicit acknowledgement of the trauma of Loki's abandonment as a baby or how that affected his mental health growing up; we don't get to explore how devastated he was to learn of his adoption; we don't ever see him reconcile his ingrained belief that jotuns are monstrous savages with the fact that he is jotun. He says "I betrayed everyone I loved, but I'm different now" and we're supposed to infer what he means without Loki actually articulating why he feels that he's the only one who should be held responsible for all these things that had happened or what "I've changed" even means to him (aside from not betraying Sylvie).
I would have liked to see these things addressed for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is that I would want to see how Loki comes to terms with all of his issues and his pain enough that he stops being passively suicidal. We never get to see that; after TDW, the time that passes allows for Loki to kinda chill, resulting in the Ragnarok version, but if there was any real healing or recovering going on, it was happening off-screen, with the audience expected to just go with "yeah Loki was going through it for awhile but he's kinda better now."
Furthermore, much of what I've written here is based on prime Loki's development through TDW, but doesn't account for series Loki's split from that timeline nor the theme of "Lokis survive" that's so prevalent in the series. So I don't think the "passively suicidal" headcanon is really appropriate for series Loki but, at the same time, I'd like to have seen why. I'd like to have seen Loki learning to value his life, or where the "we survive" mindset comes from, since that's not really been a thing before now. (Out of universe, I suspect it comes from the context of Loki just not dying whenever he tries to, but since TDW and IW haven't happened, and Loki didn't intend to survive his fall from the bifrost, framing Loki as an innate survivor doesn't really make sense, but to be fair, I'm just being picky.)
So, yeah. I'm not saying Loki doesn't experience growth or development in the series, I'm just saying that his arc left much unsaid and, furthermore, framing his growth as "wanting a throne to not wanting a throne" without addressing that Loki doesn't actually want the power of the throne, he wants the value and self-worth he associates with the throne, is - well, again, unsatisfying. Not bad, but it leaves viewers like me wanting bc we're cognizant of how much more could have been done.
I ... am going to end this now. This is probably nonsensical and all over the place, so I'm very sorry, and I'm sure this is why I don't get meta-starter asks lmfao bc no one's out here trying to read my dissertation submission for a Ph.D in Loki, but well, sometimes it just be like that.
Thank you for the ask and the opportunity to ramble.
#asks#charlotte replies#loki pokey artichokey#loki series#loki series criticism#loki meta#tw suicidal ideation#tw suicide attempt#tw suicide#tw mental health#tw depression#i spent two fucking hours on this yet i still feel like it's rambly nonsense#i hit stream-of-consciousness at some point and just went with it#and now i'm too lazy to revise#so i'm sorry#this'll probably only get like 10 notes anyway bc that's how it be on tumblr#put effort in and get little validation; put no effort in and everyone loses their minds
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Tangled Salt Marathon - Be Very Afraid
This is the best story arc episode in season three and arguably the best written episode since The Great Tree, but it’s still season three so there are still issues with it.
Summary: When Zhan Tiri tells Cassandra she must destroy Rapunzel in order to wield the Moonstone's true power, Cassandra discovers that she can create, with fear, red rock spikes that cause fear and freeze their victims. Varian discovers the red rocks and teams up with Rapunzel to use his amber solution on them. Meanwhile, Eugene and Lance decide to throw a talent show to distract everyone from their fears.
Why Can’t Cassandra Control The Rocks?
The series never gives an actual explanation for this. She could control them just fine in Rapunzel’s Return, so what’s changed?
There is No Destiny!
There’s no prophecy, no oracle, no grand design nor master of fate to fight back against; the characters literally have no reason to do what they do. If you want destiny to be a goal then you have to establish what that destiny is first.
What does Cassandra want? How does this connect back to Gothel, Rapunzel, and the Moonstone? Why she just failing about like an idiot here? Did she not have a plan when she threw her life away for this stupid rock?
And of course Zhan Tiri is lying here, but why should Cassandra believe her? What does she gain by listening to a creepy ghost girl? This ‘destiny’ has not been established, so therefore there’s no hook nor bait for Zhan Tiri to trap her with.
Leading directly into “you should kill your bestie’ should logically put Cassandra off of Zhan Tiri’s advice for good because Zhan Tiri isn’t actually offering anything. Temptation requires the person to be, you know, tempted by what they want, but Cassandra doesn’t know what she wants so none of this makes sense.
The writing is desperately trying to make Cass sympathetic here, but all it winds up doing is making her look like a moron instead.
This Isn’t Consistent
Not only does this fail to explain why Cass could control the rocks previously but no longer can, but it’s also contradicted just a couple of episodes later with the incantation bullshit.
You need an established magic system in place in order for the character’s actions to make sense show!
This Ultimately Goes Nowhere
Ignoring how Varian should have been in season two and how translating the scroll should have led to freeing his father, which we’ve talked about previously; this subplot should have had more impact on the narrative than it actually did. Yes, Varian’s translation winds up driving the plot of Cassandra’s Revenge, but 90% of that episode winds up being utterly pointless, including the incantations themselves, so....
I Like This Sequence; Shame It Winds Up Being Undermined Later
Unlike the majority of dream sequences in this show, this nightmare has an actual point. It more firmly establishes Varian’s fears and gives the audience some insight into what happened to him back in season one. Something we were sorely lacking. It also becomes the core conflict and drive of Varian’s character development through out the episode.
Only for the episode to ignore Varian’s real issues and fail to adequately address anything. By series end this plot point will be completely forgotten. The show acts like bringing it up once and then never acknowledging it ever again just magically revolves Varian’s character arc. It doesn’t.
So How Come Quirin Isn’t Affected By the Rocks?
He’s right there next to them and he shows no reaction to them at all. You’re telling me the man who lost his home twice to these things, almost died to them, and nearly lost his only child because of them, is just not going to respond to new creepy red ones popping up?
Quirin would have a treasure trove of trauma to explore in his own right, that undoubtedly would connect back to Varian’s own issues, but we’re just going to ignore it and have Quirin off screen for the majority of the episode?
Are These New Character Models?
Are you shitting me!?
They built five new models just for a short two minute scene, one where none of the new characters are named nor given lines, only to never appear ever again!
What the fuck? Why did you waste time and money on this? What happened to all of the other background characters you already built? Did a bunch of season one models just get lost or deleted or something?
Also why are they all wearing green? Is it St. Paddy’s Day?
This Plot Point Wasn’t Established Enough Beforehand
Look, I’ll buy that there are people in Corona who still blame Varian for what happened in season one and for the Sapoiran take over. I mean they’re only getting half the story and were directly effected by his actions whether or not he intended harm to them. But we needed to see more of it beyond just this one scene.
No one was bullying him in Lost Treasure or The King and Queen of Hearts, so for all purposes he appeared to be integrated back into society, and now you’re telling me he’s not and that Rapunzel risked his well being by forcing him to interact with people who were hostile to him back in Lost Treasure?
And yeah you can’t really move Lost Treasure back any further than it already is cause that’d leave a giant hole in the wall of the throne room for over a year. Which also makes no sense either.
Or hey, maybe it’s just Feldspar being an asshole. In which case why should Varian or the audience care?
Eugene is Wasted
Look I understand that there’s only twenty five minutes to tell this story and that Eugene isn’t the focus of the episode. I also understand that the B-plot is meant to be comedic in order to relive tension from the A plot, but this wasn’t the best way to go about it.
The B plot swings too far wide in the other direction that it dilutes the tension too much. The A plot now has to work over time to keep the urgency going. I could understand it, if the show wanted start off with small fears first, but it needed to ramp up the drama as it got closer to the climax, not under cut it.
We never see Eugene freak out over anything other this this cowlick. In fact we never see him scared of anything else beyond this one scene, which undermines Rapunzel’s arc this episode as she’s suppose to be the only one bottling things in. What makes Eugene so special that he can keep a lid on it with out consequences, or are you telling me that a dumb cowlick is his only fear?
Either answer is stupid.
I Hope You Have Copies of the Map
You went through all that trouble to steal the journal for this very reason and now here you are prancing around without it like it’s not that big of deal. Way to undermined past story arcs.
It’s like the writers know that season one was their most successful season, and therefore try to make callbacks to it whenever they can, to make up for ignoring it in season two completely, but they still don’t want to actually acknowledge anything that happened during that season so they just refer to it in the laziest way possible, rendering the previous events pointless.
So Close and Yet So Far
I’m mainly posting this whole conversation so that you dear readers will have context for what I talk about next.
For you see, this scene starts out okay and it looks like we’re finally going to address the elephant in the room regarding Rapunzel’s involvement in Varian’s past trauma, only for the scene to immediately side step the issue all together and not resolve the conflict at all.
No! Don’t Interrupt; Listen!
Or at least go all the way and accept some of the blame yourself.
It may look like Rapunzel is comforting Varian here on a superficial level, but without her verballing acknowledging what she did wrong, this action just winds up taking the focus off of Varian and what he needs and places it upon Rapunzel, both narratively and physically.
So what happens is that, in universe, it comes across like she’s just consoling Varian for her own personal comfort rather than genuinely trying to help.
Why Would Varian Ever Think This?
Okay, first off this has nothing to do with what Varian was talking about previously. Why would he jump from discussing his trauma to praising Rapunzel? You know the woman who is responsible for said trauma?
Secondly, this switches the focus of the conflict off of Varian’s specific trauma and makes it about a generic “over coming fear” lesson mixed with an out of place validation issue. Which is not what’s actually needed for his character development; nor for Rapunzel’s for that matter.
Third, being the sundrop has nothing to do with Rapunzel as a person. Her being born with magical powers was an accident of fate, same as her being royalty. She’s not innately better than anybody else because of this and nobody has any narrative reason to assume otherwise. Especially since her powers are utterly disconnected from her actual personality, choices, and actions. All three of which have become unbearably unpleasant by the last season.
Finally, Varian, of all people should be the last person on earth to ever think so highly of Rapunzel. Them being friends again is already pushing believability. Him suddenly kissing her ass the same as everyone else this season is just flat out bad writing.
Varian knows better than anybody what an awful person Rapunzel is. He’s seen her at her worse. He’s seen her not live up to her hypocritical ideals. He knows the larger problems that steam from placing people in power on pedestals. As her former victim, Varian by all accounts should be the one person who can bring Rapunzel down to earth and poke holes into her ego, even while still being her friend. Especially while still being her friend. She needs that! Writing Varian as another blind Rapunzel stan is not only writing him out of character, but it also damages Rapunzel’s own development.
Also Varian hates magic. Why would he now worship someone just for having magic?
THIS AIN’T ABOUT YOU BITCH!!!
I literally yelled that at my tv screen when I first saw this scene. Those were my exact words upon the episode’s first airing. And believe it or not, I’m not one to usually scream obscenities at inanimate objects.
I understand what the writers were trying to accomplish here. They wanted Rapunzel to ease the tension by saying something funny and to make Varian laugh to distract him from his woes; thereby defusing the situation. But it doesn’t work because of season three’s tendency to make Rapunzel the most egotistical, smug, self-centered, abusive, self-righteous twat in the show.
It really boggles the mind just how unaware the writing is. Like, surely no one makes their protagonist this unlikable on accident. Clearly they meant for Rapunzel to be an ass on purpose right? They wanted Cass to have a reason to hate her so they decided to make her insufferable to the viewer in a misguided attempt to make Cass more sympathetic? Right?
Then where is the bloody comeuppance?
I genuinely thought this was all going to lead somewhere. That Rapunzel was going to learn to be a better person and I would have been fine by that. I would have applauded the show if they had turned her into an asshole intentionally so that they could teach a mature and nuanced lesson about morality.
But they didn’t, and here I am; still shaking my head in confusion over a year later.
Seriously what the fuck happened behind the scenes to cause this? How can processionals paid by the largest animation company in the world be so incompetent?
Having Trauma is Not the Same Thing as Having a Phobia
This is where Varian’s arc falls apart. Not only does the episode fail to have Rapunzel acknowledge her past wrongs for a second time, but it also completely mishandles Varian’s trauma because it equates it to being an irrational fear. One that can be overcome through pure force of will at that, same as Lance and everyone else’s fears in the episode.
Ok first off Varian’s fear isn’t irrational. He even just said so at the start of the conversation. Varian’s trauma is very real, it’s not a hypothetical unlike clown-spiders and cowlicks. Also has been given very little reassurance that it won't happen again. Varian has no reason to trust Rapunzel or anybody else in the show. They never owned up to abandoning him previously, and both he and the audience have little reason to believe that Rapunzel wouldn’t just neglect him again if it was convenient for her.
Secondly one does not simply ‘overcome’ trauma. Oh you can deal with trauma, you can manage it and learn to live with it. But it never goes away. It doesn’t magically disappear just because you ‘faced it’.
In fact confronting it head on is actually the opposite of what your suppose to do when going through something traumatic. Studies have shown that distracting your mind after a car crash or what have you actually helps with PTSD later on. And ‘dealing with it” doesn’t mean ignoring the problem out right, but rather learning how to function despite the pain.
But as the show acts like Varian’s trauma never even existed after this episode.
This Doesn’t Resolve Anything!
What does “being special” have to with fear? How does this help Varian with his trauma? Empty validation has nothing to with what we were just discussing.
Everyone gets afraid. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Are you telling me that my need for therapy some 20 years after being physically assaulted is just because I’m not special enough? Fuck you show!
Moreover, this doesn’t resolve the story arc from season one. Varian and Rapunzel’s conflict with each other has nothing to do with self esteem. It was about personal responsibility, conflicting needs, and abuse. Yes, self image and acceptance was a small factor in their motivations, but it was never the driving goal behind their decisions.
This is yet another broken narrative promise to the audience. There’s no closure to be had from this and leaves the viewer wanting, if not outright frustrated.
In order to justify this exchange fans have to ‘read between the lines’ and make shit up in order for any of this to make any sense. People who still defend season three do by doing all the heavy lifting that writers themselves should be doing.
If it’s not on screen, it doesn’t count.
If Rapunzel never apologizes on screen, then she never apologized. If Rapunzel never checked up on Varian on screen, then she neglected him outright. If Rapunzel never acknowledges her wrong doings on screen, then she’s never learned anything. The characters pretending like she has doesn’t make it so.
Why Does Cassandra Even Want a Destiny?
Yes, Zhan Tiri is lying, there is no destiny, but Zhan Tiri being a liar doesn’t absolve Cassandra of her own actions.
Cassandra herself believes in destiny and is looking for her’s, but why?
Why does she want a destiny? What is this destiny she’s after? Why does she believe such a thing exists? What does she believe it’ll gain her? Why is she willing to risk so much for such a vague goal? What does any of this have to do with the moonstone or her mother? How does this destiny connect back with her personal feud with Rapunzel?
It’s all disjointed and confused. Nothing lines up. It’s like the writers just had this dart board full of ideas for Cassandra’s villain arc, but couldn’t decide on which one to go with, so they just threw darts randomly each episode and went with whatever stuck for any given scene.
“Oh she want’s revenge for her mother during this scene, or wait no, she’s actually looking for destiny this episode?”
“What destiny?”
“Who knows. Now for this scene we need her to be sad because reasons...”
“What reason?”
“I don't care, make something up... Uuuuh, she’s sad cause she’s not a royal guard still”
“But she became a guard during season one.”
“Ignore that. Kids won’t remember. Now she needs to be angry and threating here”
“Why?”
“Because it’ll look cool.”
“But why is she angry?”
“Cause it looks cool Bob! Geez! Oh but she still needs to be sympathetic so give her a frowny face afterwards. Just have Zhan Tiri remind her how much she hates Rapunzel later, so as to egg her on and keep her doing stupid shit?”
“But why does she hate Rapunzel?”
“Do I have to think of everything BOB!!!???”
There, there’s my non-so-accurate behind the scene’s glimpse into the Tangled writer’s room when discussing Cassandra’s arc. I could be wrong. There could have been some intricate and complex plan thought out that just didn’t make it onto the screen for whatever reason, or maybe everyone involved was so far up their own ass that they just forgot to give their main villain an actual reason for being the villain. But regardless the over all effect is that Cassandra is handed the idiot ball for a whole freaken season in order to even have a conflict and that is never good writing; or rather she’s hit in the head with it repeatedly.
This Actually Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan
Zhan Tiri’s short term goal is to be released from her dimensional prison and apparently she needs Cass and Raps to fight into order to do this. This was never established before hand and goes against her disciples pervious plans, but whatever. One could argue that this is just a lie in order to get them to fight later...
However, this lie jeopardizes her long term goal. She eventually wants to wield both the moonstone and the sundrop herself in order to destroy Corona, but Rapunzel is the sundrop and you can only take her power during an ellipse, supposedly, which means if Cass actually succeeds in killing Rapunzel before then, then Zhan Tiri is up a creek without a paddle. Also if Cassandra did manage to steal Raps’ power with or without an ellipse then Zhan Tiri would still be out of luck.
This was wholly unnecessary; you didn’t have to go from zero to sixty in one fell swoop. Have Zhan Tiri claim that fighting Rapunzel will award the power to the winner or something. There’s no need to bring up the ‘kill her’ option. That should logically just drive Cassandra away and puts Zhan Tiri’s plan at risk.
The series wants to act like Zhan Tiri is this master manipulator, a chess master like Zantos or Palpatine, but she couldn’t even tie their shoes. Her plans make no sense and often contradict one another. They only work because the rest of the cast are reduced to imbeciles in order for them to work.
This Plot Point Contradicts Season Two
His fear of spiders was establish early on, and I’ll accept the clown thing as there’s nothing to contradict it, but Lance has preformed numerous times before now and has never show stage fright. He’s a huge ham and back in Return of Quaid he mentioned how much loved acting and preforming and apparently been on stage before, so where does this fear of singing in public come from? Heck he sung in public just a few episodes ago in Rapunzel’s Return.
If you have to sacrifice established character into order to make your plot work then you need a new plot.
This Song is Nice; It Just Needed to Be in a Different Episode
I’m glad Lance got a solo. He deserved one and the song is good. However it breaks the tension of the climax and gives the episode tonal whiplash.
More than a song, Lance needed an actual focus episode in season three. One that was fully his. If anyone else shared it with him it needed to be Red and Angry, not Varian and Cass.
Just imagine if this song came during an episode where he had to watch the girls. Imagine if he was singing it just for them. How much more impactful would that have been?
Now imagine that we had a Rapunzel and Varian duet in it’s place here. That would have tied the episode together better and helped to further their own stories. Glenn Slater can write lyrics far better than Chris can write dialogue. I bet you a thousand to one Tangled the Series would have solved like half of it’s problems had Menken and Slater been allowed write and actual apology duet between Raps and Varian.
Such a duet was proposed during Rapunzel’s Return but it could have worked here too, and you could have placed Lance’s solo in Day of the Animals or something, just leave Rapunzel out of that episode all together.
Nothing honestly needed to be cut music wise, yet for some reason season three has less songs than the other seasons, even when counting the reprises, and they’re mostly shorter too.
That’s mismanagement right there. Plain and simple. Someone at the top didn’t know how to balance the budget or resources and didn’t know where to the throw the money at.
You Have a 70 Foot Shield Made of Magic Hair, Rapunzel
You couldn’t think to just block those rocks instead?
Giving your protagonist a big hero moment doesn’t work if they placed the person the have to save in jeopardy to begin with show.
I Do Not Care About Rapunzel Right Now, Show
Yes, she’s the main character. Yes, her feud with Cass is the main conflict of the season and kicked off the episode. That does not mean that I automatically care about her personal feelings at this moment in time.
Rapunzel has kept such a tight lid on her real feelings for the whole episode that this just comes out of nowhere. I was never waiting with baited breath for her to confess her deep dark secrets or whatever.
It’s not even an interesting reveal. It’s just “Oh, see Rapunzel’s human too. She’s gets scared just like everybody else.”. I already fucking knew that, thanks. And what she’s afraid of isn’t even that compelling either; it’s a just a rip off of the prophecy dreams she had back in season one. The same ones that had no explanation and never furthered the story, so why should I care about this one?
You have to earn the audience’s investment in your conflict. The character’s likability, as little as that may be currently, will only carry you so far, you have to establish shit first.
Varian’s conflict has been the focus of the entire episode so far, and it’s a conflict that was set all the way back in season one, so of course that is what I’m invested in seeing get resolved. Rapunzel is once again just butting in and making it all about her when it’s not actually her story.
And if you wanted it to be her story then you should have made her the actual focus to begin with and had her learn something by the end of it.
This is Poor Choice of Words, Writers
I could be generous here and pass this off as Rapunzel not fully believing in this prophecy. After all Corona’s destruction is still a hypothetical at this point and Cassandra really has left already. Since the episode is about fear, Rapunzel is of course more afraid of losing Cassandra’s friendship as it’s real tangible possibility.
More than a possibility even, Rapunzel’s been dumped. Season three is a classic break up story, right down to the poor plotting and tunnel vision, hence why it’s so gay baity.
However, this reading only carries so far. For starters this is Rapunzel’s what, fourth prophecy dream so far? Haven’t the past three already came true, so why would she think this one wouldn’t?
Secondly, all that good grace goes right out the window once it becomes clear that, yes, Cassandra is indeed a threat; a threat that Rapunzel refuses to take seriously because she cares more about her own personal validation than her kingdom.
Even as Cassandra does succeed in destroying Corona, and no doubt harms other people while at it, Rapunzel still is obsessed with ‘winning Cassandra back’. Oh and make no mistake, this is not because she actually cares about Cassandra as a person and her needs or feelings. Nope. Rapunzel just doesn’t like being dumped.
Why Does Varian Need to Shove His Feelings Aside for Rapunzel’s Bullshit?
Rapunzel’s ‘confession’ has fuck all to do with Varian’s current issues. They do not connect in any way.
Varian is dealing with real trauma, trauma that she helped cause, while Rapunzel is only dealing with a hypothetical prophecy and one very shallow, self-centered fear. There’s nothing to relate to here. Neither for Varian himself nor the audience.
Yet for some undefined reason this is what gets Varian to ignore his PTSD flashbacks? What?
This is once again break the narrative promise. I was promised closure for Varian’s story arc and instead of that the writers just brush it up under the rug.
From the outside looking in this doesn’t come across as Varian ‘overcoming’ his ‘fear’. It looks like an abuse victim using learned helplessness to placate his abusers.
And yes, for the last time Rapunzel is Varian’s abuser.
NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!!
And and even though he is no longer her ‘responsibility’, she is still neglecting him emotionally as his supposed friend.
Varian’s and Cassandra’s Stories Undermined Each Other’s
Varian stopped the rocks. Rapunzel had nothing to do with it. Zhan Tiri blaming Rapunzel for it steals agency away from both her and Cassandra.
However, if Rapunzel had used the hurt incantation to stop the rocks and Cassandra had felt it rom the other side, then you’d have something to back up Zhan Tiri’s claim and an actual point of real conflict to carry the rest of the season. Not to mention an actual tangible goal for Cassandra to work towards, survival.
Cassandra’s conflict with Rapunzel not only prevents the resolution to Varian’s arc from being satisfying, but Varian fulfilling his arc in turn winds up cutting off Cass’s story at the knees.
It didn’t have to be this way. Varian’s and Cassandra’s arcs should have complimented each other, but instead the creator decided to make them complete for screen time and relevance.
It is such an gratingly stupid and petty decision that winds up being a disservice for all the characters involved.
Cassandra’s motivation and goal should have been revealed back in season two. Varian should have been the sole focus of Rapunzel’s Return and gotten his big hero moment there along; with an actual ending to his conflict with Rapunzel that didn’t feel so lopsided and half assed. Then Rapunzel and Cassandra could have both been held accountable for their conflict in season three, instead of pretending like their shit smelled of roses the whole damn time.
Lance Got a Whole Crowd Cheering Him On For Singing a Song, Varian Just Gets One Asshole Giving Him a Single Line of Congratulations
Did I mention this show has an odd anti-Varian bias? Cause it does. For whatever reasons his own creators hate him and that’s just utterly baffling to me. Like why create a main character that you don’t like?
I look down on professional writers who treat characters they didn’t create poorly within their works, like with James Gunn and Scrappy Doo in the Scooby Doo Movie, Adric in the Doctor Who spin offs, or even the treatment of Doofus in Ducktales 2017. I don't care how much a character is liked or disliked by fandom, that shit is just tasteless and often unfunny. But at least I understand where they are coming from when they do it.
But I’ll never understand what compels a writer to sabotage their own work; one that they are getting paid to write no less. Especially when said character is super popular with their fans. And Chris knows this. He knows the ratings plummeted without Varian in season two. He knows the merch didn’t sell because there wasn’t enough Varian products. That’s why he hyped up Varian’s return a whole week before Season Three’s airing with a massive online campaign, but he wasn’t smart enough to treat the character decently afterwards?
I mean congrats, you convinced a just enough viewers to come back to season three to keep the show on the air I guess, but you left them all pissed off and have nothing to show for it to the higher ups a Disney.
And Chris wonders why he wasn’t asked back to work on new Disney princesses shows that are currently in the works.
That is Not Quirin. That is a Plank of Wood Pretending to be Quirin.
*Beep* *Boop*...*Dad Bot Is Proud. exe*
Quirin is such a pale shadow of his season one self that he might as well not exist. I genuinely don't know why the writers released from the amber so early if they weren’t actually going to use him until the season finale.
For the longest time I honestly thought that Rapunzel sucked out his soul with that decay incantation; what with that lyric about “setting the spirit free”. I genuinely thought that would be a later plot point, but nope, it’s just bad writing
Him just saying hi to son once and smiling blankly isn’t compelling and it’s isn’t fulfilling. It doesn’t actually resolve his arc. I mean he’s at least shown spending time with his son, but that’s not enough. We need to see him acknowledge past, we need to see him acknowledge his own flaws, and we need to see him being more attentive when Varian is in need. .
Season one Quirin would be trying to stop Varian from going near the red rocks, a post season one Quirin should logically go after his son to make sure he’s alright, even if he’s know longer trying to actively stop Varian like he once did.
There’s also that damn note and it’s secrets!
You know what? That’s it. That’s the problem. The focus is all wrong in season three. Episodes get pulled into to many directions trying to juggle too many characters rather than dedicating the needed time to each individual arc.
Season two’s finale should have been a three parter with Cass’s full motivation and goal laid bare before leaving.
Rapunzel’s Return should have been solely about Rapunzel and Varian’s conflict and resolving that arc fully
Either Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf or Day of the Animals should have been a Lance episode about him and the girl’s, no Rapunzel.
And this episode should have been about Quirin and Varian resolving their issues, with the Rapunzel and Cass stuff as the B plot not the stupid talent show
There, all fixed. You don't even have to cut much, just rework the focus and leave Rapunzel and Cassandra out of conflicts they have no business being in.
This Does Not Excuse Rapunzel’s Later Negligence Regarding Cassandra
Just because the red rocks was an accident doesn’t mean Cassandra should get a free pass for all the awful things she does later. Rapunzel uses this one interaction to excuse everything else Cassandra does in season three, as if she was just some poor lost baby and not a grown ass woman out to kill them.
In fact Cass showing hesitancy here actually makes her later actions even worse. This means that she fully acknowledges that what she’s about to do is wrong, but goes ahead and does anyway, even gleefully so at times. Then she has to gall to act baffled when people see her as a threat? 0.o
When fans say Cass isn’t redeemable or shouldn’t be redeemed, it’s not because he actions are so much worse than everybody else’s (even though they are), It’s because she doesn’t act like she wants to be redeemed half the time. The show doesn’t properly set up her ‘redemption’, instead it just lazily has Rapunzel yell at us how she’s ‘not lost’.
Like below for instance.
What Does Cass Need Saving From?
Cassandra is not in danger. She is the danger.
She made the conscious decision to leave taking a world endangering artifact with her, and she later makes the conscious decision to come back and be an asshole for no adequately defined reason.
She’s never shown to be in any physical danger from the rocks, the moonstone, or even Zhan Tiri herself. She apparently can take care of herself in the wild for over a year. She also has the capability of getting a job else where and just living out her life if she wanted to. Nothing is forcing her to listen to Zhan Tiri.
Heck, even her hurt arm, the one thing Rapunzel is responsible for and could potentially be a continued threat to Cass’s well being, is just completely forgotten about.
And no, mental illness and past trauma are not excuses as well. In fact it’s rather insulting to both people with mental heath problems and abusive survivors to suggest otherwise. We don't need ‘saving from ourselves’ and we aren’t automatically dangers to anybody. Nor do we get free passes if we hurt someone. A jerk who happens to have a mental illness is just a jerk who so happens to have a mental illness; coloration is not causation.
Conclusion
It’s better than Rapunzel’s Return, but this episode was still a disappointment. A small part of me whishes this was a two parter because it has so much untapped potential, but I know it’s just be wasted in Chris’s hands.
Anyways, I consider this to be the true mid-season finale of S3. Not only did the hiatus kick in after this episode, but it also clearly divides the season between the first half filler and the later Cass conflict. As such the next entry will be the mid-season recap. See ya, then.
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#anti-tangled#anti-rapunzel#anti-casandra#varian#tangled#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure
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