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#internalized
guiltyidealist · 2 months
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I just think we should start framing these things in the first person. I am not immune to propaganda. I have implicit biases, in spite of my explicit beliefs, which I need to keep in check.
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despondent-beauty · 1 month
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Was thinking about that 'asking someone how they feel about furries is a great litmus test' post from a few years back.
Really starting to realize that being anti-furry is often (not always) an indicator of extremely problematic/toxic thinking patterns, since the furry fandom's members are primarily (but not entirely) criticized for behaving in one of these two ways:
Zoophilia
Cringe/weird
"Furries are often zoophiles!"
Issue #1 may be a legitimate concern when dialed back, but it is often an overgeneralization that indicates that the individual may not be willing to a) check their assumptions about minority groups and b) may host a whole lot of other discriminatory beliefs that they have failed to question as a result. In my poking around online, I found that there are heightened rates of zoophilia in the furry fandom, but nowhere near enough to say that furries are often zoophiles or that it's even a major component of the fandom.
To allow this concern to affect how one treats and perceives furries is to allow one's presuppositions -- derived from what random internet ragebaiters say, not even aligned with one's own personal sense of identity -- to usurp one's ability to see the group as it truly is, which is a fancy way of saying 'they believe in and apply stereotypes, and they don't seem to care.' This is so obviously a problematic thinking pattern that I don't need to explain why.
"Furries are cringe/weird, and they should just stop being furries!"
Issue #2 tends to be the more difficult of the two to address (when I see other people thinking in this way). Why? Because it's much harder to demonstrate why it's problematic. (As an aside, I don't think it's a legitimate criticism at all -- calling something cringe is never legitimate criticism, and that's part of the problem.)
i) Defining cringe.
Cringe is essentially the feeling that one gets for empathizing with the behavior of someone acting in a way that society generally thinks is 'uncool.' You both see yourself in that individual (some repression of your own tendencies/wants) AND how society views that individual. So you empathize with their self-expression and then feel strong negative feedback thinking of losing face/value in the eyes of the tribe. On top of this, you start to think 'well, that person is only doing that because they're not socially aware enough to know they shouldn't.' Cringe is born.
ii) Implications of cringe.
The issue here is obviously that 'cringe' is oftentimes used as shorthand to say 'well, other people would think that that's weird and negatively judge you for it,' which indicates that the individual struggles with internalized phobias -- even if they're LGBTQ+ or part of another minority. A prominent (and easily accepted as problematic) example of this is when gay men say 'Well, I don't like flamers. They shouldn't act that way because they just ruin it for all of us.'
iii) Cringe and its relationship to neurodivergency.
Furthermore, a lot of the behaviors labeled 'cringe' and 'weird' are behaviors that autistic and neurodivergent individuals have. Obsessions with things (childish, like plushies, or otherwise). Rigid logic. Difficulty communicating. Alexithymia. Etc. So, in essence, the behaviors being criticized here are frequently just neurodivergent behaviors that society frowns upon, again indicating that the individual in question is struggling with internalized phobias (specifically ableism in this example, but where there's one phobia, there are likely more).
I'm not claiming anything about the prevalence of neurodivergency in the furry fandom (though common perception is that it's much more common), but I am claiming that the furry fandom is often criticized not for being the furry fandom but rather because of neurodivergent behavior from its members. This gets generalized to the entire fandom, but it's wrong to criticize people for a lot of these traits to begin with! They only get criticized because they're 'abnormal,' whatever that word even means! (I suspect its meaning boils down to 'well, I just don't like it.)
iv) What right do we have to discriminate against others based on 'cringe' behaviors?
Finally, the fact that these behaviors should be labeled weird/cringe/bad at all is an indicator that the individual who dislikes furries objectifies societal standards. You know what? It's okay if you personally think that something is cringe, but it's not okay to pretend that that means anything in objective reality. Not unless you have objective evidence that demonstrates what that connection is. You disliking something does not make it inherently good or bad.
Far too often, I see fur-phobes (or whatever you want to call them) say things like 'they shouldn't behave that way' (usually in more words and with, somehow, less tact). In this way, they are objectifying the standards of society, even though those standards are frequently entirely arbitrary and, again, ableist/discriminatory against neurodivergent people -- or even just people of different cultural backgrounds!
Why, in objective reality, consequentially speaking, should people NOT behave in a way that you and other people think is 'weird' or 'abnormal?' What's the actual negative impact of this behavior on you?
Oh, they're not fitting into your mold of what an ideal person looks like? And what exactly is that ideal person? A 'proper' gay? A 'proper' white, cisgender male? What standards are you projecting into the world, and why have you chosen to believe in those standards so strongly that you're willing to criticize and bully those who don't fit those standards? Who defines these things? Why are they valued? Do you really believe that you have a moral/logical high ground?
These people have limited ability to introspect and remove themselves from problematic and toxic views.
In short, I am very distrustful of people who claim to dislike furries. It indicates to me that they have internalized phobias, no sense of true identity (identity dictated by society/their perception of what society wants them to believe), and difficulty developing themselves/introspecting to achieve growth.
All of this is to say that a good way to very quickly see if someone is at risk for having problematic views is to ask them their opinion on furries.
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aroaceconfessions · 1 year
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I m asexual (sex-repulsed) and Demiromantic and whenever friends ask me if I would ever consider dating an Allosexual Person, I say no. I wouldn’t date someone who is not Asexual.
Not because I don’t believe it’s possible. It’s because of my insecurities. They would eat me alive every day we are together.
We live in an oversexualised society, where romance and love= sex. And I genuinely do not believe someone could love me so much that they would give up having a sex life, just for me. I just don’t. It doesn’t make sense
I would see a pretty Person and be like „they could give you what I can’t, why did you choose me?"
Besides, how would I even come out to them? Right at the beginning on the first date? (I’ve done that and lemme tell you, it did NOT work out) or when we‘re already dating? Wouldn’t that be unfair to make someone fall in love with you and then tell this important part of you later on? Wouldn’t they think I „cheated“ because they thought we would eventually have sex, only to be told that won’t ever happen?
I also would feel like shit whenever I „accidentally“ turn them on. I‘m not kidding. Hoping I don’t sound like an absolute asshole, My body is very.. let’s say easy to sexualise, which okay fine. I get it I guess, but it still grosses me out. So.. me, an asexual, dating a non-asexual… would be so weird. Because of society, my own insecurities and people themselves. Sorry, I had to get it off my chest I guess. Most times I’m really comfortable in my sexuality and other times I realise how hard it is to date someone with that constantly in mind
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loverbomb · 2 months
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🌊What is a phobia of theirs?
I'm probably going to answer most of these ones ooc bc Psyche would be like "LOL NOTHING!!!!! I'M GOD" but cmon
they're scared of everything. they're scared of dying, they're scared of living, they're scared of themself, of being alone, of trusting anyone ever, etc etc etc. but as for an actual phobia hmmm okay.
he has some really rough internalized transphobia. it took dying and losing everything and taking on a cartoonishly exaggerated persona for Collins Psyche to even begin playing around with gender. and it started in a very self depreciating way, until one day he just realized. he really is so much more comfortable when he gets home and changes into a pink dress and furry robe.
it still doesn't really. understand gender, or agender, or nonbinary. part of it still feels like this is all an extended manic episode. but another part of it just wants to feel pretty.
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emita-ita · 3 months
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so many times i tell myself "i'm gonna go", i follow my adhd clock alarms, make my bagpack, get dressed, and then i literally can't go out of the house. i try my best. this is what trying my best looks like for me. but then i can't do the task because of my disability. and that should be ok. i won't let this asshole system and society tell me i'm useless. i'll just take a few more days to apply to this job and go to the bank. resting when you need it is the most punk thing!
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alostlittleriverlotus · 7 months
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me simultaneously loving the extremely flirty sexual characters as an outlet for self love while also occasionally being reminded I'm not the beauty standard cause I'm chubby and fat and trying to not hate myself for it and having delusions that my comfort characters wouldn't want me even tho theyre fucking fictional and who says they won't like fat/chubby people. Also the struggle of being disabled and feeling unlovable for that too especially since, again, most of my comfort characters are the flirty sexual type (Asmodeus Obey Me, Ozzie Helluva Boss, Valebtino Hazbin Hotel, Angel Dust Hazbin Hotel, more that i am too brain foggy to mention) cause feels lile disability can't be sexy cause of fucking ableism and beauty standards and shit and feeling like my needs and accommodations make me less sexually attractive.
★Minor eating disorder/ED mention, internalized fatphobia and ed-based thoughts, just bullshittery about thoughts I don't like★
Like I KNOW it ain't reality and they're fictional and can like whatever, but having the reality that me simply being bigger and fat or having to have needs especially with constant fatigue and pain is exhausting. It's rare this happens cause I am pretty confident about myself and have undone a lot of that internalized shit, but sometimes it creeps up during my narc crashes and depressive episode where I'm like "fictional character will never love me!" Because I'm not some perfect person that has everything an abled person could have.
I hate the internalized shit. I've worked so hard and it STILL creeps up on me with my comfort characters since I've internalized that stuff for YEARS. Lemme be happy and sexy and cute and cuddly. It doesn't matter if I'm fat, it's still beautiful and sexy and charming. It doesn't matter if I have needs, my comfort characters would love me and love means you want to help your partner!
The worst is when my comfort character is super problematic (Valentino 💀) but they're my comfort character cause trauma and so you get reminded they're a pos and would be a pos to u. Not cause they're abusive, just cause they might be really shitty about body stuff. I like to think they wouldn't care as long as you got shit done minus the abuse, but still. Brain, forget reality, let me enjoy my fictional characters to cope with the fact I have really fucked up trauma and sexual trauma.
Also adding on top of that, being fucking delusional about it too so your comfort character IS real to u to an extent makes it ALL the more terrible when that reality of how the general public sees you hurts. Cause then you just have the comfort character in your head turning against you and it hurtssss.
And then also the disconnect between where you won't think or believe this with OTHER people, but with yourself you do which makes you feel worse cause you're aware it is just placed in you by the world but it doesn't make the feelings less real.
T3T
I dunno, I'm tired and fatigued so I'm ranting. This was all cause I saw a pic of 19 year old me when I was still gaining a lot of weight and thinking "man I looked good" and my thoughts instantly were like "Do it. Go back to it." Cause I've had an eating disorder and I DON'T want to go back to that. I hate the inherent instant thoughts of it that pester me. I'm fat and happy, I love being cared for, I am in a good place and I resent the fact these thoughts still pop up.
Also don't worry, I'm at a good place where those thoughts don't last long and I don't relapse so it's MUCH better than it used to be, I'm just ranting cause it's frustrating.
Plus this is all worsened by my NPD and HPD demanding to be attractive, absolute perfection, and a need to be alluring for attention. Having to rework/rewire that line of thinking after years of it is so difficult. I'm doing my best TvT
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dvktheartist · 2 years
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Completely blown away!!! 6 live Auctions on Foundation - wtf! Some of them are just about 3 hours left to put in a bid 
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khaleesiofalicante · 4 months
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This is important.
The Western Media did not broadcast South Africa's argument, while some dared to only show Israel's defence. Never before in my life have I seen mainstream medias only broadcast one side of the trial.
These actors read out South Africa's case and did what the mainstream media was supposed to do and failed to do.
Proud of them for using their power and privilege the right way.
Source and link here.
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intersectionalpraxis · 3 months
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Take a good look at the countries leading/have started the legal battles to hold the IOF accountable -their fights to end IOF terrorism and war crimes, as this should have been done months ago, are now beginning.
So many Palestinian people have been genocided, and the rampant global government inaction has caused chaos, death, and destruction of Gaza... I just hope this leads to a permanent ceasefire and an end to the occupation. I truly do.
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powdermelonkeg · 4 months
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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
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wearenotjustnumbers2 · 2 months
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On this year women's day, all we could think about are Palestinian women in Gaza.
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Nearly 9,000 women have been killed in Israeli attacks in five months. Another 2,100 are missing and presumed dead, while 23,000 have been wounded and over half a million are displaced.
“Palestinian women, especially in the Gaza Strip, are exposed to the worst humanitarian catastrophe,” Ashraf al-Qudra, the health ministry’s spokesperson, said on Thursday.
Dozens of women and girls have also been detained and face harsh conditions in Israeli custody, including sexual abuse.
Women in Gaza also struggle to find menstruation products and access the necessary pregnancy and post-natal care. The consequences on reproductive health, including a rise in stress-induced miscarriages, stillbirths and premature births, have increased significantly.
Women in labour are undergoing caesarean procedures without anaesthetics, and a shortage of post-operative care such as medication, antibiotics and pain relief further exacerbates the situation.
According to the health ministry, 5,000 women give birth monthly in Gaza under “harsh, unsafe and unhealthy” conditions caused by Israeli bombing and displacement.
There are 60,000 pregnant women in Gaza suffering from “malnutrition, dehydration and lack of medical care.
There have also been repeated cases of Israeli soldiers mocking Palestinian women by posting videos and pictures of themselves rummaging through personal belongings in Gaza homes, making derogatory comments and posing with women’s underwear.
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internetslice · 2 months
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happy international womens day! remember that there are palestenian women in need of feminine hygiene products! you can donate here, and the cheapest tier is 5$!
if you can't donate, reblog! doing something is better than doing nothing! remember to keep talking, keep calling and keep donating! from the river to the sea, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE!! 🇵🇸
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birdemic · 2 months
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we have to stop letting the usa have such control/influence over international politics
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sayruq · 4 months
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Brazil has also given its support
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enjymemink · 4 months
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Thank you Yemen 🇾🇪
Despite being one of the poorest countries in the world, they showed more empathy than those so-called civilized developed countries.
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