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mbtimyths · 9 months

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What do you think about the ISTP x INFJ pairing?? How do you think their dynamic could be?? Thank you! 💕

Hi Anon!!

Well lucky for you, I am an INFJ who had a 2 year relationship with an ISTP. I've reflected on our time as partners in these posts:

How ISTPs can do better when paired with INFJs

How INFJs can do better when paired with ISTPs

My (INFJ) relationship story with an ISTP

and for fun, a meme.

I hope these provide some insight! However, I suspect you were looking for less of a personal reflection and moreso a socionics analysis, so here's that:

Each the reverse inverse of the other's ego, ISTPs and INFJs are partners and playmates. In the expanded theory of Myers-Briggs, this pairing is known as "Supplement", and in Socionics its denominated "Activation".

This pairing can resemble complements; however, these relations are somewhat less fulfilling (hence "supplementary" rather than "complementary"). Activation relationships are often romantic if both partners find each other attractive. These relationships are often very easy to start, as both partners share either extraversion or introversion. Introvert activation relationships appear reserved.(a)

When presented with the same scenario, Supplement pairs will begin reasoning from different angles but ultimately follow the same logic. It's like racing the same track but starting from opposite sides of the loop; they arrive at the same conclusion by retracing each other's path, ending up in agreement but for different reasons.

For ISTPs and INFJs, this is likely to lead to both mutual appreciation and fascination. They find each other's perspectives useful for connecting the dots. Their constructive rapport and unique affinity makes them good partners in both work and play; while they don't quite balance each other like yin and yang, they do fit together and finish each other, like yin and upsidedown yin.

While INFJs seek external harmony, ISTPs value internal consistency. The INFJ will be intrigued by the ISTP's mental frameworks, and the ISTP will be compelled by the INFJ's holistic analyses.

As a couple, the ISTP and INFJ will remain somewhat mysterious to each other, yet one will always meet the other where they are at. As two developed individuals, they will naturally have each other's backs. Where the INFJ struggles to structure their world the ISTP will step in to help, and where the ISTP lacks insight into their choices the INFJ will offer wisdom.

However, as two undeveloped individuals, the ISTP and INFJ will easily slide into codependency and contempt. The INFJ will resent the ISTP for their unwillingness to engage in emotional labor, and the ISTP will feel burdened by the INFJ's avoidance of technical labor.

To avoid these pitfalls, the INFJ will have to get their shit together, and the ISTP will have to face their wounds. The INFJ may benefit from a coach, and the ISTP needs a therapist, rather than each asking the other to fulfill that role for them. Once they address these personal liabilities, they can flourish into a fruitful interdependence where they find safety, stability, and deep trust in each other.

Thanks for the request, feel free to send more asks in the future!

(a) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socionics

#infj x istp #istp x infj #mbti love #infj love #infj relationship #istp love #istp relationship #infj #istp #mbti relationships #ask

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incorrectinfpquotes · 8 months

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INFP: I am straight up depressed. ENFP’s been doing their best to cheer me up. They gave me this sticker this morning just for waking up.

INFJ: Ew, it’s like you’re dating your teacher.

INFP: I know, it’s so hot.

#source: brooklyn nine nine #incorrect mbti quotes #16 personality types #mbti #mbti types #infp #mbti infp #enfp #mbti enfp #infp x enfp #enfp x infp #infj #infj mbti #meyers briggs #mbti personalities #I do not condone student/teacher relationships #ew

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mariamthe1st · 1 year

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What are some secrets of the INFJ?

Peace and quiet is a high for us— We need time to recharge, alone, by ourselves.

We don't casual date— We need long term relationships.

We like routine— We can do the same thing repeatedly if we like it and are comfortable.

If we don't want to talk to you and you are one of our "people" We are hurt— We can isolate ourselves when we need space.

We can only love one person at a time romantically— We pour everything we have into something we love.

We love animals

If an INFJ sends you a song, listen to it— They are trying to say something they haven't found a way to verbalize.

We write better than we speak.

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classic-entp · 7 months

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Classic-ENTP #42

Any Ixxx Type: That's my new friend!

ExxP: ???????????????I thought you had social anxiety???????????????

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mbti-notes · 2 months

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Anon wrote: Hello, 24M ISTP here hoping to help my 25F INFJ girlfriend, or at least understand her. It’s a persisting problem that’s taking a noticeable toll on her mental health and I’m a little lost on what to do.

We live in the UK, and drinking culture is HUGE here, particularly regarding an almost obsession with pubs. They’re seen as a community hub in a way for a lot of people. I personally only have one or two drinks on special occasions and my girlfriend is teetotal, so neither of us feel the need to go to these places ourselves. The problem, for my girlfriend, is how this interferes with the rest of her social life. She has a lot of online friends, but aside from myself and her sister, she only really hangs out with her work colleagues. Most of these outings involve drinking to an extent.

My girlfriend said herself, several times, that she doesn’t like the pub crowd. It’s not her scene, it’s noisy and cramped a lot of the time and she just finds it boring. Honestly I agree with her. She’s even had some people grilling her about why she doesn’t drink, which obviously won’t help. When it’s just the two of us, we usually go to some sort of cafe, or an actual activity like arcades or museums, because that’s what we both enjoy. Whenever she goes out with her colleagues, though, she comes home miserable and deflated. I suggested offering to go someplace else with them, but she’s apparently asked a few of them around the weekend time and they always say they’re busy.

I’ll see her obsessively scrolling on Reddit or Twitter at sometimes 4AM, looking into why people love drinking/pubs so much and to see if anyone feels the same way that she does. It seems to start this vicious cycle of guilt if she can’t find the answers she wants because she’ll see people praising pubs and what they mean to them. She tells me how she feels like she doesn’t fit in here, and it’s warping her view of the world generally, because so many people love and revolve their leisure time around an activity that she hates. Basically she thinks that there’s something wrong with her.

She’s tried to branch out a little over the last few weeks by taking music classes and volunteering, but she’s really shy and hasn’t formed any friendships so far, which is making her feel even worse. So she falls back into her usual routine of going to places that she hates because people want her to. I take her out to do what she likes as often as I can, but honestly I think there’s a deeper problem at play here.

I asked her if she feels lonely, and she said no. She doesn’t miss the connection of an actual friendship, she actually enjoys having lots of alone time. She told me it comes from a need to feel socially competent, and this does line up with her behaviour. The way she talks, acts, dresses, is all done so she can be perceived a certain way. She wants people to see her as someone that has friends and a fulfilling social life. But like I say to her - she’s not a public figure, she’s not a fictional character. There’s no audience here aside from the people she chooses to be around. Why is she sabotaging herself?

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Consult the article about Caring for Emotional Needs for tips about how to offer comfort to people in distress. Questions about how to help are always complicated because there are so many factors that could influence the outcome. The most important factors to consider are: 1) how open the person is to receiving help, 2) whether they possess enough inner and outer resources to carry out good advice, and 3) whether your presence has the potential to hinder them. From your description, it is unclear how these factors will play out.

Have you read the study guides and do you understand functional stacks and type development? It sounds like she is having difficulty with auxiliary development and reaching a point of auxiliary resistance, which can potentially trigger a gradual descent into tertiary loop. It is a common issue across all types.

It's possible there's something awry with her intentions. Approaching function development with the wrong intention often leads to negative results. She works very hard, perhaps too hard, to fit in, which indicates Fe overindulgence, but then also claims that she does not need the Fe things she's working for. She claims to want "social competence", which is ostensibly about healthy Fe, but then rejects vital opportunities to develop genuine social competence. Denial and ambivalence are major factors behind why people get stuck in developmental ruts. In essence, people want auxiliary development but also want to avoid the difficulties of it, which can lead them to choose dead ends and overlook viable opportunities.

Yes, it is self-sabotage, but it's important to remember that these "choices" are generally made unconsciously from a deep and dark place of pain, suffering, ignorance, or desperation. Although it might seem irrational to onlookers, it is rational to do what is necessary to alleviate short-term pain, in an effort to regain enough mental capacity to tackle long-term problems. However, when pain cannot be adequately alleviated (usually due to not having learned the right tools for coping), it starts to wreak havoc psychologically.

I often say that the easy path isn't usually the right path when it comes to personal growth. Ideally, she should go through the arduous process of making new friends with people who are better suited to her personal preferences and needs. Branching out is the better choice but also the more difficult choice because it involves facing up to painful truths about herself, i.e., to nakedly expose the shyness and deep insecurities that lie at the heart of the struggle. She has yet to realize that it is precisely through facing up to those vulnerabilities that genuine social competence is eventually achieved.

Since she isn't ready to face up to the real underlying problem, she's leaning on her colleagues at the pub. As you said, pub culture is huge in the UK, so enjoying it would allow one to quickly fit in with a significant swath of the population. However, as huge as pub culture is, there are also huge numbers of people with other interests, but it might be difficult to meet them without making a big change to one's immediate social environment. From my observations, spending too much time with people at work can really limit one's perspective, like putting all your eggs in one basket. I generally don't recommend seeking out personal relationships in the workplace unless you just happen to meet someone you really, really click with.

If she lacks the wherewithal to change her social environment, she might be feeling out of options and that might be why she's trying to force the pub situation, as it helps maintain some illusion of control. The misery she feels as a result is an extremely important warning sign but she's ignoring it, which indicates poor self-care and a need to improve emotional intelligence. Chasing these existing relationships is the golden path of least resistance, but it only seems easy on the surface. In the end, it's also an incredibly difficult path because she must deny herself and sacrifice her integrity for the pretense of fitting in, which basically amounts to self-violence.

In short, both paths are difficult, but only one will lead to proper function development and personal growth. In cases of auxiliary overindulgence, the dominant function doesn't work optimally. Without healthy Ni, it's difficult for her to understand the longer term implications of her choices. All FJs need a strong sense of belonging and community in order to flourish in life. Fe-related needs are legitimate and she must learn to fully embrace them as an integral part of her identity. Ideally, she should be encouraged to fulfill her Fe needs and be offered support as needed/requested. However, though it's hard to watch someone you care for struggle, you can't compel or force them to develop a function when they are not psychologically ready for it. It's something she ultimately has to decide to do on her own, for her own good.

Since her auxiliary function is your inferior function, you are in a dangerous position. You could inadvertently be a negative influence if your inferior Fe distorts her view of auxiliary Fe. It's important that you are mindful about your own relationship to Fe. You have to understand that auxiliary and inferior functions are very different animals that require very different approaches in type development. You should avoid expressing inferior Fe in a way that gives her a convenient excuse to withdraw from auxiliary Fe development entirely. This would be the worst case scenario from the perspective of type development.

#istp #istp relationships #inferior fe #infj #auxiliary fe #helping #ask

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typing-mbti · 1 year

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About MBTI romantic compatibility

In this post I want to talk about my personal thoughts based on what I observe about MBTI romantic compatibility or romantic compatibility in general.

Because remember, MBTI isn't enough when looking for a partner; there can be:

Very different people of the same type

Similar people of very different types

It also depends on what similitarities and differences mean for you.

MBTI: COMPATIBLE, SIMILIAR, DIFFERENT

Think at colors: there are colours which matches armonically to you but maybe you still preferer a "very similar" colour that accompany you or "very different" one that make you natural color stands up

1) COMPATIBLE if you look for an armonical balance between your differences (dichotomies) and similarities (same primary function but inverted and same process thoughts of the other two functions)

E/I + P/J difference or also F/T or N/S depending on what is the primary function (change the other). F/T or N/S lead to apparently more differences but deeply same way to process some thoughts (exactly same middle cognitive functions)

Example: INTJ x ENFP or ENTP

Example: ISFP x ESFJ or ENFJ

2) SIMILIAR: same type or similiar in many things (but not having the same primary function and thinking process can still lead to a not so small difference): you prefer having more similitarities with your partner (e.g. both introverted)

Change just a letter (be conscious that usually the S/N difference alone could still lead to a strong difference)

Example: INTJ x INTJ or ENTJ or INFJ or INTP (or also ISTJ)

ABOUT changing only the last 2 dichotomies: it will lead to a more complex mix between similarities and differences, usually it can be great at times but can also lead to many misunderstandings, for this reason I see more friendships than romantic partners on these.

Example: INTJ x INFP

Example: ESTP x ESFJ

3) DIFFERENT: very different type or opposite type: you feel safe with a companion that can do the things you can't do.

Example: INTJ x ESFP, ESTP, ESTJ, ISFJ,...

Is it immature?

If all you look for is just a personality type yes, but if you consider many things among which a specifically personality type... no. People choose their partner based on physical appearance, interests, sympathy, familiarity, style of life... and choosing based on the way a person perceive and process reality that affect every part of their daily life is nothing but deep.

"BUT if you both are willing to make it work..."

I will be honest here on my opinion. We are not talking about getting along with colleagues or in family or something forced, but with romantic relationships. It's so natural to look for a "compatible" friendship, why not with romance? Friends can be many while a romantic partner is hopefully just one and for every day of our life; and every relationship is already difficult by itself without us making it more complicated. We will live and share everything with our partner, make decisions with them, see and talk to them everyday: for this reason I personally don't see why we can't be selective.

So... is MBTI compatibility important? Depends

My personal opinion is that compatibility in general is very important, but not each couple needs MBTI compatibility to work well.

Your perfect match depends on who you are and what you look for in a partner.

-> Some thoughts to consider for wishing to have MBTI compatibility or not:

If your MBTI type is a huge part of who you are and your mental process - choose YES

Passions, interests, character and other things have a huge impact of who or your partner are more than MBTI - choose NO

You are selective and look for deep understanding of who you are to feel completely gotten - choose YES

You get along easily with others and feeling get is not your primary need (or not by a partner), you enjoy and look for other things - choose NO

Your process thoughts deeply, analyse others and observe a lot - choose YES

You are in tune with the ambience more than focusing too deeply on the others, you are more practical and a doer - choose NO

IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS

Your answer can be different of the one of your partner. For example an INFJ chooses her ENFP for MBTI compatibility because she wants to have long conversations and feel mentally connected with him while ENFP chooses her for the way she treats him and prefers spending time doing some hobbies together. So their relationship's will won't match.

If you wish for MBTI compatibility:

I will repeat it another time: MBTI isn't enough! There are always other things that defines us as values, humour, interests, style of life, mentality. So your life partner will be one of the personalities you get along with: not all will work perfectly with you!

MBTI isn't a guarantee! There is no perfect balance and every couple needs work.

If you wish for other kind of compatibilities:

Still be conscious about your personalities! Sometimes feelings cover our differences and you are ok with how are some things now but maybe in the future you or your partner will look for other things.

Be aware! Not thinking about it doesn't remove their type and your similarities/differences, the best is knowing your MBTI types and still be sure it's the best for you! MBTI knowledge in any case could always help in your journey.

Some example of couples I know:

MBTI compatible couples:

ISFP x ENFJ: natural match and they also share the same way to see life - worked

ESFP x ISFJ: compatible but the mental disorders of one destroyed their relationships and also their interests didn't match - didn't work

Not MBTI compatible couples:

INFP x ISTJ: they have the same values of family and both looked for a companion that can do what they couldn't, and feel safe in the differences of the other - worked

INFP x ESTJ: they loved the differences because they made them feel safe, during life they realized they needed to feel understood by the other and suffered for the lack of similitarities - didn't work

FINAL THOUGHTS

Be careful and choose what is best for YOU depending on what you and your partner look for in a relationship. Because at the end knowing what you want in your love life and waiting until you find it is the most important thing! If you want read this last part by thinking at different characteristics other than MBTI.

Different partner: more work to to but they can help you with doing the things you can't do. Always looking for an opposite partner can be sometimes linked to low self esteem, or positively to a strong adaptation ability.

Similiar partner: less work to do but you will have the same limits and face the same problems. Always looking for a very similar partner can be sometimes a sign of immaturity, or positively of a sensitive trait.

I'll say it again:

I talked about MBTI compatibility but remember that MBTI doesn't describe us totally so choose wisely considering that person completely!

And work with your defects and mental disorders, with them every relationship is destined to fail or be unhealthy or toxic.

Maybe you are thinking "love is blind"... to our mind maybe yes, but unconsciously is linked to how we see ourselves deeply.

Feelings may last some time but having a partner hopefully will last a life.

I wish you all the best love life :)

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simply-smiley · 6 months

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INFJ motto

Nothing is impossible for INFJ, it takes just a little bit longer to achieve.

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nitwitthegrey · 1 year

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*ENTP & INFJ accidentally end up under mistletoe*

ENTP: *knowing look*

INFJ: "Who would put this here? I can't believe anyone would still be upholding this stupid tradition. It's demeaning."

ENTP: "Couldn't agree more."

INFJ: ...

ENTP: "Let's kiss tho"

INFJ: "Yeah okay."

#entp #infj #mistletoe #holidays #tradition #mbti #mbti humor #mbti romance #entp x infj #debater #advocate #relationships

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poetrybyonur · 2 years

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The physical distance between two souls means nothing. When they live inside your very being, you carry them with you wherever you go.

#poets on tumblr #love quotes #love poetry #romantic poetry #love poem #romantic writer #onurtaskiran poetry #poetry #poets and writers #love #distance is relative #soul connection #in my bones #in my heart #never far away #relationship #empath #infj gentleman #infj poet

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cosmicfaeriewitch · 1 year

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#infj #introvert #twitter #tweets #viral tweet #meme #memes #relationships

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mariamthe1st · 5 months

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It's not the way they say that they love you.

Words are sweet.

Words are mandatory.

But I believe that love is born when they call you between their busy daily details.

When they cancel something to see you for minutes.

When they make effort to see you happy.

When they talk to you about things they never discuss with anyone else.

When they make you feel safe and surronded.

When no one would make you feel less when they're around.

Love looks better by beautiful photos, sweet words and little gifts.

But it lives by care, safety and effort.

#aesthetic #dark academia #love #infj #healthy relationships #relationship #gestures #i love you #words #Sweet #small things #Passion #True love #Safe #Happy #romantic #Effort #actions speak louder than words

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flowersinherhair0 · 7 months

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who an INFJ needs:

1- someone they know actually wants to listen

2- someone who is truly a caring person

3- someone who sees the best in them through all flaws

4- someone who can sit with them without having to speak

5- someone who does not value the superficial things in life

6- someone who will never stop showing them they love them

7- someone who knows how deep they can be in their heads but loves them for it

#infj feelings #infj personality #infj #personality types #relationship

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darklydelicatepotato · 2 months

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I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful than dedicating your life to loving someone

#love quotes #beautiful #feelings #infj feelings #infj #lol #introvert #relatable #memes #introvert problems #relatable quotes #relationship #writers on tumblr #dead poets society

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mbti-notes · 2 months

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Anon wrote: Hi mbtinotes 22yo INFJ here. I recently lost a friend (INTJ) after dating her briefly. After breaking things off, there was a lot of hurt on both sides that we weren't able to reconcile. I ended up blocking her to move on, since then have unblocked but never reached out. This loss has been eating away at me every day since and I can't stop thinking about my mistakes or feeling like a failure. At the same time, I don't think maintaining a friendship was benefitting either of us.

There was a lot of drama over how I handled the breakup, and it was messy since we both still had feelings but she no longer trusted me. I also think we were in somewhat of a codependent relationship and my thoughts about her are obsessive. I constantly wonder what she's thinking and whether or not I can "fix" things despite the damage done. I've always had self esteem issues, social anxiety, and I believe have struggled with depression for a long time.

I know I have good qualities and my friends remind me all the time, but I just don't see myself that way, and I've always struggled with dating and this falling out with my friend has put me even deeper into my issues and made me more aware of them. I still care for her a lot, but I don't know if reconciliation is possible and am afraid of repeating the cycle, and she's villainized me at this point anyway. I honestly have no idea how I'm supposed to build myself up from here.

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The best way to have healthy self-esteem is to be a person of integrity. It means making decisions primarily from the perspective of your better self, with a view of the bigger picture (Ni). It means doing whatever is necessary to preserve every person's well-being, including your own (Fe). It is never too late to choose integrity. The sooner you choose it, the sooner you can get to a more positive place in life. The path to integrity is a lifelong process of learning how to be the person you're really meant to be.

When it comes to failure, having integrity means owning up to mistakes and learning to do better. The way is: face facts, take full responsibility for everything that was in your hands, and resolve the situation to the best of your ability.

Resolve is not the same as fix. "Fixing" is usually motivated by an egocentric desire to assuage guilt, silence regret, or unload resentment. By contrast, "resolving" should be motivated by care and empathy and a genuine desire to do what is best for everyone involved. Negative feelings must be laid to rest and everyone must be allowed to move on in the most positive way possible. Resolution can be a difficult process and might require several steps, for example:

Contrition: For the sake of learning and personal growth, do a full accounting of all the things you have done that were hurtful, harmful, or morally problematic. Make a list and review the reasons why you engaged in such behavior. Feel your remorse fully, and make a choice to forgive yourself by accepting that you are human and still have much to learn about how to make moral decisions.

Atonement: Issue a detailed and heartfelt apology to everyone who was negatively affected by your behavior. Provide an honest explanation for why you behaved poorly, without making excuses or deflecting responsibility. Ask for forgiveness, recognizing that you are not entitled to it and do not have control over whether it is granted. In your own mind, forgive others their mistakes, for the sake of your own well-being, because you do not want to keep carrying around the heavy burden of a heart poisoned by resentment, anger, or hate.

Closure: Do a full accounting of all the things you appreciate about the person and the relationship you had together, and say thank you to them. Express that you hope the negative experiences won't erase all the positive experiences you've had together. Sincerely wish them the best going forward. Grant everyone the freedom to open a new chapter of life.

Blame is always counter-productive to relationships. Since the relationship is basically beyond repair, continuing to play any kind of blame game (whether blaming yourself or her) is only going to keep you stuck in negativity. It sounds like blame was a significant factor contributing to the breakup, so it's time you learned a better way of handling painful feelings via improving your emotional intelligence. You need to get back in touch with your caring and empathetic side in order to let go of blame and leave the past behind.

You've had many opportunities to end the situation but instead chose to continue it. At some point, you have to make a decision as to whether your energy is better utilized moving backward or moving forward - you can't have it both ways. When you choose to move forward, feelings will fade as time passes, and you'll get better perspective from which to learn important lessons, lessons that will hopefully better equip you for success in future relationships.

Remember that the process of grieving a loss and healing from it cannot begin in earnest until you release yourself from the compulsion to fix and, instead, move toward full acceptance of reality.

#infj #infj relationships #breakup #integrity #acceptance #closure #apology #forgiveness #regret #ask

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infjthingz · 1 month

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"I'm just too in my own head lately"

I know, I'm there with you y'know

#infj things #infj mbti #infj thoughts #infj feelings #infj #mbti #infj personality #infj relationships #infj stuff #infj struggles

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chameleonpersonality · 1 year

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INFJ

Living with a personality that is so rare is a struggle because it is hard to find someone who has the experience. My personality, INFJ, makes up 2% of the population.

INFJ stands for:

- Introverted

- Intuition

- Feeling

- Judging

People with INFJ are very complex people with an array of emotions, interests, and talents. Though they have a reputation for being reserved and quiet, they can be some of the most highly respected and admired people in the world.

Like all personalities they have their strengths and weaknesses. The strengths in this personality trait are:

- Zealous and enthusiastic

- Perceptive and deep

- Compassionate and peace loving

- Decisive and pragmatic

- Virtuous and Noble

The Weaknesses are:

- Perfectionist and too specific

- Over sensitive and opposed to conflicts

- Repressed and too private

- People pleaser and meek

- Overworked and burn out

With INFJ there are 7 signs you can pick up on if they're unhappy with their life. They are:

- They become impulsive

- They're tired all the time

- They're detached

- They ghost you

- They see no future

- They're always around people

They can't concentrate

Instagram @Chameleon_Personality

Facebook @ChameleonPersonality

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