“Some days are tougher and all you can do is take a deep breath. But that’s okay, you are doing your best.”

— Unknown

the usual me 🙂

Every single time I was terrified of what was to come and didn’t understand how I would get through it, I did. Every single time I felt like my world was ending and that I couldn’t make something happen, I still did. Even when I felt terrified, lost, overwhelmed, unsure, insecure, and unworthy, I still pulled myself through. And looking back on all of it, everything always made sense after. And everything always worked out for my greater good. And everything led me to the next stage of who I was. I have to remember all of that in this moment where I’m feeling insecure and vulnerable. I have to remember how many times I felt that way before and how many times I pushed through. I have to find the strength to love and accept myself for who I am at this stage too.

And if I'm being honest? I don't think you realize you love someone until you do. I think that is what makes it so beautiful. There is no loud, screeching halt inside of your heart, no neon sign that suddenly lights up and lets you know that you have found your favourite thing. No, I don't think it works like that. I think it's quieter, calmer. One day you're just sitting across from someone, and you're watching them tell some story you've heard twenty times, and everything inside of you feels safe. Everything is serene, and peaceful, and you almost laugh to yourself, because in the midst of all of that chaos, you realize just how deeply you care about them. In the midst of the crowd, or the background noise, or the chatter of other people in the restaurant, time slows down for a moment, and there it is, There it is. — Bianca Sparacino

MY heart is a gift.

When I open it up I give it to very few.

Once in your hands I allow you to see the most delicate parts of me.

With loyality, in trust,

I give you my loving truth.

But if you leave the most vulnerable pieces of me exposed,

and choose to hurt me,

I must take back what you took.

I've learnt the hard way that I can't keep giving pieces of myself and placing them in ungrateful hands.

My heart is a gift, so I have to be most loyal to myself.

Words by Jen

Now I am free, Free fallin'

It's not the way they say that they love you.

Words are sweet.

Words are mandatory.

But I believe that love is born when they call you between their busy daily details.

When they cancel something to see you for minutes.

When they make effort to see you happy.

When they talk to you about things they never discuss with anyone else.

When they make you feel safe and surronded.

When no one would make you feel less when they're around.

Love looks better by beautiful photos, sweet words and little gifts.

But it lives by care, safety and effort.

Before you try to love their brokenness and try to fix what you can't, I hope you read this.

You can't fix people who are broken, you can't just decide to carry their hurt as if it was yours. You have to let people heal instead of trying to make them better.

You can't love a damaged person and expect them to love you with the same fire as you do.

I know you have a habit of fixing people with traumas that have shaken their soul and it's not your job.

You cannot love anyone into healing, you can respect their boundaries and watch them heal or you can let them be the messiest they've ever been because you can't collect someone's pieces and try to join them for them to be who they were before breaking apart.

I know you always try to make others see good even in their shitty days, you let yourself be everyone's punching bag, you fit into a void that in the end it's just you alone. You fix people who always leave. I know it's tiring to fix things, I know it's tiring to the one who mends what's broken but as much as you love broken people, learn to let them heal on their own.

I am proud of your big heart but as much as you're trying to rescue the world, learn to protect your brave heart.

🥰❤️🖤🌧

all of them 😅

It is a strange thing to see you now and be unable to recall how it felt to love you; like a half remembered dream, the essence of what we shared is there, but the details are hazy. Like a house I grew up in, you are still familiar to me, but the deeling of home is now missing.

Beau Taplin • Half Remembered Dream

When the INFJ finally comes to the realization that they must move on, this looks nothing like the previously emotional state they were probably in. Once the INFJ has made the decision to shut someone out, they are very level-headed and rational. This may be frightening to people who are used to seeing the warm and gentle INFJ. They often appear very collected and even cold when they are set on slamming the door on someone. They know what they have to do, and this often takes removing all emotions from their actions. They have to shut off from this person, almost as if they are dead to them. The INFJ considers the loss of a relationship much like a death, and they are already spent time mourning this loss. At this point they are simply removing the finale memories of the lost relationship. This is no longer the mourning period, the INFJ has completely come to terms with what has happened. If the INFJ is still emotional or upset, then there is hope to resolve the relationship. Once the door slam has happened there is no going back. The INFJ has made the decision to move on and to them it is already done.

You're going to realize it one day—that happiness was never about your job or your degree or being in a relationahip. Happiness was never about following in footsteps of all of thoes who came before you; it was never about being like others. One day, you're going to see it—that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it choes to go. Happiness was always about embracing the person you were becoming. One days, you will understand that happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that your happiness was never in the hands of others. It was always about you. It was always about you.

You lost her gaze for a moment and your breath quickened, as when a dropped call across a distance gains unexpected gravity. You would soon learn that love made you worry, but it also made you beautiful. Love made you Black, as in, you were most coloured when in her presence. It was not a cause for concern; one must rejoice! You could be yourselves.

Later, walking in the dark, you were overcome. You told her not to look at you because when your gazes meet you cannot help but be honest.

Remember Baldwin’s words? I just want to be an honest man and a good writer. Hmm. Honest man. You’re being honest, here, now.

You came here to speak of what it means to love your best friend. Ask: if flexing is being able to say the most in the fewest number of words, is there a greater flex than love? Nowhere to hide, nowhere to go. A direct gaze.

The gaze requires no words at all; it is an honest meeting.You came here to speak of shame and its relation to desire. There should be no shame in openly saying, I want this. There should be no shame in not knowing what one wants.

You came here to ask her if she remembers how urgent that kiss was. Twisted in her covers in the darkness. No words at all. An honest meeting. You saw nothing but her familiar shape. You listened to her gentle, measured breaths and understood what you wanted.

It is a strange thing, to desire your best friend; two pairs of hands wandering past boundaries, asking forgiveness rather than permission: ‘Is this OK?’ coming a fraction after the motion.

Sometimes, you cry in the dark.

Open water, Caleb Azumah Nelson

My anxiety has a loophole that if somebody else is equally or more uncomfortable I develope the sudden ability to do the thing.

I can't go and ask for more ketchup for myself but if my friend wants more ketchup I'm out of my seat in a second

How to change your life in one year

Not complaining

Embrace loneliness and use that time to reinvent yourself

Be friends with people who encourage you not tear you down

Pick one skill you want to work on and get better at everyday

Commit to the goals you want to accomplish

Move your body and exercise about 3-6 times a week

Fail forward. Try to learn something from every mistake you make

Spend less time on technology. Read, journal, go on walks outside more

Don't fear uncertainty. There's something special about being in a place where you don't know what's next. It helps you surrender and find a deeper solution. Some of the answers we need come when we let go and just trust that things are going to work out. Believe in yourself.

Idil Ahmed