#incorrect coworker quotes
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Jon in S4 hospital bed coma:
Elias at his bedside, sobbing: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed
#elias: also your coworkers are bullying me :((#elias bouchard#jonathan sims#jon sims#klm-zoflorr#tma#the magnus archives#magpod#tma incorrect quotes
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grace: *texting* hey can you pick me up i’m drunk?
grace: oh you don’t have to anymore. i’m home now
welton: yes, i’m aware of that after dropping you off at home
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Vaggie: "Okay ha ha, very funny. Who stole me and Charlie's laundry out of the dryer again- Angel Dust!"
Angel Dust: "Wasn' me."
Vaggie: "Are you wearing my fucking skirt!?"
Angel Dust: "Ooooh~ it's a FUCKIN' skirt, huh? This one kept special for when Charlie jumps ya?"
Vaggie: "Que te la pique un pollo- NO."
Angel Dust: "Aw c'mon toots, we all know you have one~"
Vaggie: "Give me back. My skirt. You. Ass."
Angel Dust: "Speakin' of... is it really still YOUR skirt, Vagina, if MY ass is the one lookin' so utterly fine and fabulous in it?"
Vaggie: "YOU DONT HAVE AN ASS, ANGEL DUST."
Angel Dust: "Yeah? Then what's this beautiful thang here, hmm?"
Vaggie: "I don't know because there's nothing there for you to even POINT at, twig twink!"
Husk: "HA!"
Angel Dust: "Ugh fiiine. Since you're being nice an' usin' my preferred pronouns-"
Vaggie: "Twig???"
Husk: "Twink."
Angel Dust: "-I'll hand over the girlfriend-fucking skirt. The delicius heat from the dryer's mostly gone now anyway. Jus' lemme grab something to throw on over it first..."
Vaggie: "Seriously? THAT'S why you took it?? Dryer heat?"
Angel Dust: "Next best thing to hot bath at the end of a day's hard work, baby! A day's VERY hard, throbbing, aching work-"
Vaggie: "I will throw this spear at you. I WILL ruin your stupid hair."
Husk: "Fucking do it."
Vaggie: "YOU shut up too. You're the one who taught him this in the first place, aren't you?"
Husk: "WHAT? I don't put on your fucking skirts!"
Angel Dust: "Wha' about her non-fucking ones?"
Husk & Vaggie: "Shut up."
Angel Dust: "Touché~ Protestin' too much, me thinks~”
Vaggie: "Husk- we all know you're the one waiting for the dryer to finish so you can drag the laundry onto the floor and sleep on it!"
Husk: "That's bullshit- you've got no proof-"
Angel Dust: "Cat hair, Mr. Whiskers."
Husk: "The fucking hotel has a cat!"
Vaggie: "That smells like a bar and also sheds feathers?"
Husk: "FUCK."
Angel Dust: "Don't break yourself up over it, kitten daddy- If you hadn't shown me the joys of laundry shopping, I'd never have known how GOOD I look in this jacket."
Vaggie: "???? You- IS THAT CHARLIE'S!?!?"
Angel Dust: "Goes good with the skirt, huh? If you two had a kid, they'd fucking SLAY."
Vaggie: "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING HER JACKET"
Angel Dust: "Look- she's the only one in this fancy prancy hotel that's got the same measurements as me, at least in the shoulder, hips, and torso department! The only one who's clothes don't smell like dead deer and dusty old radios, anyway!! I'm kinda low on options here, okay?"
Vaggie: "WHAT ABOUT THE OPTION OF DON'T StEAL OUR STUFF?? THAT'S LIKE, THE EASIEST FUCKING OPTION YOU COULD HAVE!"
Angel Dust: "Orrrrr, you two could adopt me as you gay lovechild and give me some fuckin' hand me downs. Or money."
Vaggie: “OUR WHAT!?”
Angel Dust: “Fuck it, give me money an’ I’ll buy my own clothes, mom.”
Vaggie: “I. Am. NOT-”
Charlie: “-hey guys! Has anyone seen my….”
Charlie: “…uh, Vaggie? Why is Angel Dust dressed like our gay lovechild?”
Angel Dust: “HA!”
Charlie: “And did he just call you ‘mom??’”
Vaggie: “I give up. Anyone needs me, I’ll be in the laundry room, shoving myself in the dryer on the hellfire setting.”
Husk: “You’ll have to fucking drag Niffty out first.”
Vaggie: “What.”
Charlie: “What?”
Angel Dust: “WHAT”
Husk: “She was crawling in head first when I left after waking up- uhh- after getting something.”
Angel Dust: (shrieking) “AN’ YOU LEFT HER THERE???”
Vaggie: “Oh shit-”
Charlie: “Vaggie- go! Fly!! Go go go now Now NOW- EMPLOYEE IN THE INDUSTRIAL CLEANING EQUIPMENT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!”
- meanwhile, in the laundry room-
THUMP THUMP THUMP
THUMP…. Thump………… thump
Alastor: “…”
Alastor: (reaches over to knock on dryer door)
Alastor: “Having fun, dear?”
Niffty: (flopping limply half out of dryer) (battered) (scorched) (GRINNING) “Ow pain!”
Alastor: “Quite.”
Niffty: “Heheheh… heHEHEHEH.”
Niffty: (sets the dryer to max again) “More…. PAIN!!!” (shuts door from the inside) (grins from other side with her face pressed against the glass)
Alastor: “Fascinating.”
Thump…Thump. Thump. THUMP THUMPTHUMP-
Cherri Bomb: “…”
Cherri Bomb: “…Know what? You kids have fun. I’m just gonna go, like, break into someone’s house and murder them so I can use their washer and dryer. That’ll be less fucked up than….. whatever this is.” (hefts basket of bloody laundry and bombs) (waves over her shoulder while leaving) “Bye~”
#hazbin hotel#vaggie#angel dust hasbin hotel#husk hazbin hotel#chaggie#charlie morningstar#alastor the radio demon#niffty hazbin hotel#cherri bomb hazbin hotel#incorrect quotes#silly nonsense#that feeling when your coworker leaves their own bloodstains on the inside of the dryer machine#so you need to wash it before anyone can do laundry again#(and before cherri bomb can try quick-drying stuff with explosives in the mean time)#(......again)
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Nie Huaisang: Some of the things you say are so out of pocket.
Wei Wuxian: What do you mean?
Wei Wuxian: Doesn't everyone have the experience of having to fend against dogs for food in their childhood.
Nie Huaisang: See that's what I mean. No one else experienced that.
Wei Wuxian: That can't be true. There's no way I'm special.
#mdzs#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#cql#mxtx#incorrect quotes#incorrect mdzs#incorrect cql#wei wuxian#nie huaisang#inspired by a conversation i had with my coworkers
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Buck: *kisses Eddie's forehead*
Buck: *freezes*
Hen: Did you just... kiss his forehead?
Buck: *nervously* Yeah, it's a new thing I am trying where I kiss everyone's foreheads when they do a good job.
Buck: *grabs Chim and plants a kiss on his forehead* Great job cleaning the engines, Chim!
Buck: *grabs Hen's face before she can react and plants a kiss on her forehead* Great job organizing the supply closets, Hen!
Hen: *Swats at him* Get away from me!
Buck: *makes a move on Bobby*
Bobby: You even try to kiss me and I will fire you!
Buck: Noted
#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#hen wilson#chimney han#bobby nash#911 abc#incorrect 911 quotes#incorrect quotes#tw: possible assault#I feel like I should tag that since they're all coworkers
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Redacted comic ideas that I'm probably not going to make pt2
#the vega one is an incorrect quote I think#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted gavin#redacted freelancer#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted vega#redacted coworker
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Bruce: I'll give you 20$ to stay longer.
Jason: How long?
Bruce: Just a few hours.
Jason:
Jason: Deal.
Damian: I'll give you 40$ to leave RIGHT now.
#MY BOSS BRIBED ME TO STAY LONGER AND I TOOK IT CAUSE I'M FUCKIN POOR 😭#THEN MY COWORKER TRIED TO BRIBE ME TO LEAVE 😂#source: me#dc#jason todd#red hood#dc characters#jason peter todd#the red hood#incorrect quotes#incorrect dcu#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect bruce wayne#incorrect jason todd#incorrect damian wayne#Damian Wayne#Robin#Bruce Wayne#Batman#incorrect Red Hood#incorrect Robin#incorrect batman#DC Bruce Wayne#DC Jason Todd#DC Damian Wayne#DC Robin#DC Batman#DC Red Hood#batdad#jaybird
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Aizawa: Hello?
All Might: Are you in your office?
Aizawa: …you just called my office phone.
All Might: Oh…well now I’m gonna hang up because I’m embarrassed.
#source: my coworker did this yesterday when they called me lmao#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha memes#mha incorrect quotes#aizawa#all might
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Wei Wuxian: In the potluck of life, Huaisang brings the energy.
Wei Wuxian: Or the Oreos.
#the untamed#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#incorrect quotes#incorrectmdzs#incorrect mdzs#wei wuxian#nie huaisang#source: my coworkers
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persona 5 royal: incorrect quote
Yusuke: I'm not surprised he's dating Akechi, Joker is far too beautiful a man to be straight, I have suspected he is bisexual for a very long time.
Ryuji: No way man I'd know if he was gay!
Yusuke: Have you seen how Joker brews coffee?
Ryuji: Boss makes good coffee.
Yusuke: He raised his dead situation-ships daughter, that's not a straight man's move.
#my coworker said this while i was discussing writing gay fic for akechi and joker#its a fucking gem and i need y'all to appreciate it#persona 5 royal#person 5 royal incorrect quotes#akechi goro#yusuke kitagawa#ryuji sakamoto#person 5 protagonist#joker p5#ren amamiya#akira kusuru#akeshu#shuake
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Koala: You know who thinks I’m funny?
Sabo: Old men?
Koala: No, they just think I'm pretty.
#one piece#sabo#revolutionary sabo#koala#koala one piece#one piece incorrect quotes#incorrect one piece quotes#incorrect quotes#do not repost#source family:#other#(mod: this is an inside joke w/ my coworkers bc this one girl has old men lowkey flirt with her sometimes so now we joke about it AKJDFKFSK
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she’s bi (and exasperated)
#who are queue? what do queue want?#for once it’s not an incorrect quote#babylon 5#b5#delenn#a win for the bisexuals#to be fair#if I had her coworkers… I’d be making those faces too#now I’m not saying she hogs Sheridan’s flannels…#but yes I am.#she absolutely does#you cannot convince me otherwise
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nathan: *wears dark grey*
kathleen: i see you’re breaking out the spring colors
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Childe: Signora, I accidentally dropped my lemon seed into my mouth and then I accidentally ate it. Am I going to have an lemon tree grow inside my belly?
Signora: Well, let's think about it. Did you also swallow a wet paper towel?
Childe: Yes.
Signora:
Signora: Alright, let's go get Dottore
#la signora#childe#tartaglia#dottore#genshin impact#fatui harbingers#incorrect quotes#childe is stupid i love him#sometimes i feel a lil bad for signora#doesn‘t remember her own backstory all that well and now she has to deal with her insane coworkers#imagine youre 500 years old#still sad about your husbands death#and this teenager comes up to you and goes „fight me“
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Wei Wuxian: The one Halloween costume I have always wanted to do is sexy giraffe.
Jiang Cheng: Dear god, why?
Wei Wuxian: To seduce the love of my life.
#mdzs#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#cql#mxtx#incorrect quotes#incorrect mdzs#incorrect cql#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#wangxian#source: a convo with my coworker
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(Based on a meeting I had yesterday)
Fives: dammit, I lost my train of thought...
Echo: you didn't lose it. It derailed and exploded.
*a minute later*
Fives: I remembered now!
Echo: well damn. There were survivors-
Rex: *immediately dies laughing*
#i was echo#my favorite coworker was fives#rex was the one running the meeting#fives and echo#fives and rex#echo and fives#echo and rex#fives tcw#rex tcw#echo tcw#captian rex#incorrect star wars quotes#incorrect star wars#incorrect clone wars quotes#incorrect clone wars
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