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#incorrect batman
baambastic · 1 year
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Tim, holding up Damian: stinky
Dick: no! don’t be mean!
Tim, swaying Damian back and forth in the air: stinky demon brat
Dick: no!!!!!!!!
Jason, not looking up from chopping vegetables: naughty boy. brat bat
Dick, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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astecea-rae · 1 year
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what the B stands for when Bruce’s colleagues call him that
Diana: baby (lovingly)
Clark: babe (exasperatedly)
Hal: bitch (provokingly *wink*)
Barry: boss (*star eyes*)
Arthur: buddy (*attempts to hook his arm around Bruce’s neck*)
Ollie: Brucie (old habit)
bonus
John (Constantine): bestie (*just pissed Bruce off and about to piss him off further*)
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acryingspider · 6 months
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Peter Parker: "If I had a nickel, for everytime a billionaire playboy, who is also a superhero specialising in tech, wanted to adopt me, I would have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne: *Discussing custody in the background*
Alfred staring into the camera The Office Style: "When is it gonna end?"
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Jason: Hey, hey, B. Look at me.
Bruce: *Turns around to face Jason*
Jason: Bitch.
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batshitferalquotes · 2 years
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Jason: *sends a voice message*
Bruce, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?
Jason: Oh don't worry about it!
[later]
Bruce: *presses play*
Jason's recorded message: BRUCE, THERE'S A F*CKING FIRE IN THE MANOR AND–
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quiinncherie · 4 months
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they’re kissing thru the glass btw
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Y/N: Jason, you need to react when people cry!
Jason: I did. I rolled my eyes.
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indi-el · 2 years
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Dick, dramatically: Never have I ever… killed anybody!
Jason: This is blatant targeting.
Tim: *glances around*
Tim: *puts a finger down*
Dick and Jason: . . .
Dick: Uh, Timmy?? Buuuuddy??
Tim: Yeah?
Dick: Why’d ya put your finger down???
Tim: That’s how the game works.
Jason: *dies again*
Dick: Did-did you kill someone I didn’t know about???
Tim: *deep inhale*
Tim: So remember that one time I blew up like a bunch of those league of assassin bases?
Dick: I’m sorry wha—
Tim: So like there wasn’t a lot of time to make sure that no one was in them when that happened so I don’t really know for sure.
Tim: Better safe than sorry.
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thequeert0fear · 1 year
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Jason, about Tim: "I can't believe you're being narsty in front of the baby."
Bruce: "The baby is going to be 21 in 4 hours."
Jason: "In my heart he's still 12 and asking me to play minecraft with him."
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unseriouslysexy · 11 months
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Selina: I am no longer dating Bruce
Ivy: Congrats on freeing yourself from the chains of heterosexual
Harley: Ooh ooh do you wanna be our third?
Jason: Well about time you dumped him
Selina:... Damn guys I was just trying to be funny
Selina: We're getting married
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astecea-rae · 2 years
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Alfred: I love you both and I’m happy in this relationship but I do not want a kid of my own
8 years later
Alfred: I’ll look after your boy. that is a promised I shall not break
10 years later
Alfred: he ran away. again, yes, I know. so far away that I can’t find him this time. I know that he always has this anger, this restlessness in him. I now what I can give isn’t enough, it’s never going to be enough. nothing and no one can replace you two but I tried to make it easier for him, to make it better. but it’s never going to enough. he misses you two so much. I wished that I’m sorry I failed you. I miss you too. dearly
4 years later
Alfred: I blame you, Thomas, you always had that dramatic flair. he definitely got it from you. ah, Martha, do smack him on the head for me, please
3 years later
Alfred: if you can see him now--what am I talking about, of course you can see him--you would be proud of him. I’m proud of our boy too
~~bonus~~
Alfred: there is a flying invincible alien who smiles like nobody’s business who has taken up on following him around like a dedicated puppy. I blame both of you. what? of course he’s interested in him but he is his usual self. that doesn’t turn the man from a faraway land away. I dare say things are starting to seem hopeful
later
Alfred: so obviously there is a warrior race of women isolated on an island which has something to do with the gods. Greek deities, yes. the princess has eyes for the both of them and that speeds things up greatly
Alfred: what do you think of wedding in June? May? well he would make them wait a few years before he comes to but it’s never early to start planning
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acryingspider · 2 months
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Brucie Wayne being interviewed about his children in the future.
Interviewer: How many are there?!
Bruce: 36! ive counted them myself!
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Bruce: Ok, if everyone's finished bein stupid.
Robin!Jason: I had more, but you go ahead.
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bruce: you should have known better! i expect more from each of you
steph:
tim:
cass:
jason: you’ve known us for years and you haven’t lowered your expectations yet? that’s on YOU
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batshitferalquotes · 2 years
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Dick, throwing confetti: You bring the razzle, and I'll bring the dazzle.
Bruce: *while apprehending a criminal* Is this why you made me add pockets to your suit?
Dick: Yes and it is 100% worth it.
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