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vacantgodling · 6 months

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hanzo

you’ve asked about the behemoth you’ve unlocked the gates—

Sexuality Headcanon: gay gay homosexual gay. i think hanzo’s sexuality in my mind teeters from him being so casual about it that you’d think he’s always known (imo he has) or it’s a source of a lot of grief because of the expectations of the head of the clan to bear children (imo it is).

so, to me, he knows he likes men, and he’s too straightforward to deny it, and in his time wandering he’s sought out quickies with men, but i also think it’s a source of stress and shame for him. esp if you get into any of my transzo headcanons the territory gets even messier. but at the same time i can see him being divorced from the desires of the clan as he gets older. like once he gets to 35 he’s kind of like i mean, fuck it—it’s already been some time and i want what i want so it is what it is. i seriously think trauma+his personality make him struggle in developing like actual close relationships in general let alone romantic ones but he is gay and he wants to be with a dude romantically to Me.

Gender Headcanon: tbh i headcanon transzo more often than ciszo but i do tend to write ciszo more often it’s weird lol. but i think it would be an interesting angle to explore if the clan kind of influenced him to be a man and unpacking his struggles with that but ultimately deciding that he’s a man on his own terms but that’s brain rot thoughts for three am—

A ship I have with said character: the only hanzo ship i have and ever will have is with cassidy. otp for life.

i think a lot of the reason i don’t ship hanzo with other characters (largest contender could be bap but i think he and genji or niran work better) is just realistically because when i put their stories and traumas side by side they have the most opportunity to really gain something out of being with one another. what they gain is understanding: someone who gets them on their roughest days, who can talk them down from a panic attack, who they can share a look with and just understand. the chemistry is there physically (see the “pretty handy with that bow” & “good looks are not enough” voicelines which STILL drive me insane by the way — and yes i know hanzo says the good looks are not enough kill line to several people HOWEVER it confirms that he’s only into men for me because he’s ONLY ever said that line to men. i think he only says it to cassidy, reinhardt, and baptiste that i’ve heard? usually when i play hanzo it is a CLUSTERFUCK and i’m SWEATING so there may be more that i’ve missed but he only says it to men confirmed. That and his va being gay is definitely 👀 but that’s a whole other convo).

they would never let the other one get away with their shit, but at the same time they like to pretend their loners when they desperately crave to be understood and have someone to lean on. i think when it comes down to it baptiste is almost TOO adjusted. he and han are similar in that they’ve done things in their past they’re not proud of, but baptiste isn’t running from it; he’s actively trying to make a difference and make it better and in many ways i don’t think hanzo is there yet, and more than likely he’d probably compare himself to bap and feel like he’s not good enough to even stand by him as a friend or coworker let alone romantic interest. similarly COULD be said about cass but there’s something about him that’s extremely disarming to hanzo i feel like.

i could wax poetics about their relationship for deadass fucking hours however i am going to move on before this becomes an entire dissertation.

A BROTP I have with said character: the one that appears in cage is hana and hanzo! i think their friendship is cute, helpful, elder brother/uncle with younger sister/niece energy. basically everything kiriko will never be LMAO. a lot of the reason i do care about this friendship so much kind of stems from my own headcanons about hana and her story which are entirely deviated from canon and WILL make an appearance in cage later on. but i think the two of them are more alike than it would initially seem—hana’s just better adjusted and more outgoing than hanzo. and every fic i’ve ever read that has them as friends has made me emo.

A NOTP I have with said character: hanzo with anyone who isn’t cassidy LMAO.

if i am serious though, hanzo and akande? like bro i understand enemies to lovers and corruption arc are popular ship tropes but i want hanzo to be well fed, well fucked, safe and happy and with akande that would not happen lmao. i don’t think he has the delicacy and tact to manage to break through han’s barriers and to love him genuinely or tender and i think hanzo (clearly) has trauma around authority so akande trying to take the lead in their relationship would be so fucking rough. like it’s toxic and while toxic relationships can be fun to write it ain’t fun for me because hanzo’s the love of my life and i want the best for him 😭

A random headcanon: HANZO IS INTO VISUAL KEI AND I WILL DIE ON THIS FUCKING HILL FUCK BLIZZARD FOR GIVING KIRIKO THAT VKEI SKIN ITS BOTH BAD AND HAN DESERVES IT MORE FUCK YALL SO MUCH. you mean to tell me that this broody angsty s.o.b wouldn’t be into the gazette?? buck tick????? x japan??? dir en grey???? kill yourself like i’m biting and maiming. i think he’d be more into the grungier and darker groups tbh like more of a dir en grey fan bc of their lyricism and imagery… and it’s also lowkey one of the (many) reasons why cage is named cage. cuz cage is a dir en grey song lmao.

General Opinion over said character: he’s the love of my life. like i have never connected with nor been as obsessed with than hanzo and i’m going to go to my grave loving this man. seriously considering getting a shimada clan tattoo just bc i love hanzo so fucking much (i’m just broke) and he consumes my thoughts just as much as hya lmao.

#ff: cage #about renjamin

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6-0xy · 2 years

Text

• So… new Overtime update am I right?

• But seriously, there is so much to unpack here.

• So for starters, thanks to the video that the creator released, we were introduced to a TON of new characters and info!

• Here’s a small list for ya!

• Two Receptionist

• Damian Stasiuk

• Emery Byran

• Gavin

• So with that out of the way, let’s get on with the info.

• Damian S.

• Damian S. is one of the first people we meet at the beginning of the game. When we meet him, he’s cleaning up a mess of monster energy drinks, obviously left by Josiah. Through him, we learn that Josiah’s last name is Nguyen, which is later confirmed when we meet him later in the game. Apparently, Josiah has a tendency of taking Damian’s cubicle, as he says that he doesn’t remember his cubicle being that dirty when he left, and he also tells the player to tell Josiah to stay out of his cubicle. He also mentions that Josiah doesn’t even work in the same department as the player, saying he either worked as Janitorial staff or as

• Thanks to this, we learn that these two seem to have a dislike for each other. Damian obviously doesn’t like Josiah because he steals his cubicle whenever he’s gone, and Josiah because, although this is just my theory, gets to work next to the player. I only say this though because the creator of the game (@turnip_liker) confirmed that Josiah kills the player’s coworkers because he either a) deeply cares for the player or b) they have a past together. Josiah possibly takes advantage of Damian’s absence and uses is it to get closer to the player, which further pushes the idea that Josiah is obsessed or a yandere for the player.

• The player also seems to know Damian, but that’s obvious considering that their cubicles are right next to each other.

• After a talk with Jackson, the player uses the elevator (which works this time) and heads down to Finance to help a lady named Sarah with her computer. In short, the player meets one Emery Byran who informs them that Sarah wasn’t there, that her husband had taken a fall and she had the be there for him. The player gets skeptical, but Emery ensures them, saying that he’d bring the player to her empty desk himself, but he and the others were very busy. Through this convo, the reader asks more questions, and we learn that Emery had been working at this company for only 2 months, and that he doesn’t really talk to his co-workers at all due to them all being old and not very talkative.

• That’s about as much we get out of him for now, but when gameplays are uploaded onto YouTube, I will update this with all the new available info.

• We had back to IT, and we go to tell Jackson about the whole Sarah things which he knows about. Then we encounter a rather particular fellow. His name, when we talk to him, is also Damian! He apparently knows a lot of stuff about everyone, and acts as the main source of info for the player. We don’t get much out of this guy, but once I play the game myself, I’ll update this because there is an option to ask about Josiah!

• We get a call from Gary who says he wants to have a friendly chat with the reader! It’s pretty much the same as the demon before the new update except you can’t just just ignore him this time! Because if you do, he sites that you have to be there in order to pick up the phone. Gary then gets mad at the player, and tells them that this what they were gonna have a little chat about. Just a little reference for to the original Overtime demo!

• So the player heads back down to marketing N’s sends up meeting Josiah, whose washing his hand at the water cooler because of a paper cut. He asks the player if he’s seen Jackson, says he has a gift for him coming up. Here, we have two options. One of the Allie’s the reader to ask what Josiah has against Jackson, and the other allows you to say that you already know it’s the USB drive.

• Now THIS is very interesting! This implies that the player remembers what happened last time! But it’s actually out of order. The gift he is preparing for Jackson is the USB drive, but this has already happened, hasn’t it? Nope. Turns out that this is before then, and when you tell Josiah about he, he’s surprised about the fact that you know, but plays it off.

• When you go to leave, the elevator gets stuck, and when you turn around, you see Josiah. He’s leaned up against the back of the elevator fall, and then there a flash of light. Multiple scenes flash before the player, and they are all very interesting.

• In the first flash, and he camera slides across the scene, showing us Emery standing in the middle of a room with blood splattered everywhere. In the second flash we see Damian S. at his desk, the cubicle, floor, and wall covered in blood. Handing on the side of the cubicle is Josiah’s hat and a hockey stick. With this, I have a couple of new theories!

• My first theory is that two seem to know something about Josiah and may be associated with him in some way. Perhaps they all kill for the sake of the player, acting as love rivals, buts it’s unlikely based off our interactions.

• My second theory is that Emery and Damian S. are working in association with Josh, but more importantly Emery. It’s possible that he’s a close friend that’s helping Josiah get away with murder.

• Those are all the main things I wanted to talk about however. But here’s a one more theory I have!

• The player mentions how Josiah is good at getting away with things. This plays perfect into the role of obsessive yandere as he can easily just go talk and interact with the player with little to no repercussions. But why is that? Even Damian S. says that if he did what Josiah did, he’d get fired. I say it’s because Josiah has family members working on HR! They allow him to get away with certain things, such as slacking off or, in extreme cases, murder.

It explains how he’s allowed to play games, steal others cubicles, and play pranks with any serious repercussions. It’s mentioned that HR doesn’t do much to help when it comes to misbehavior, so maybe I’m overthinking, but it’s still interesting to think about!

Additional Facts

Josiah is confirmed Vietnamese, and Damian S. is Polish!

The time is something the player needs to focus on, as it changes during every flash.

Josiah’s hair is messy under the cap.

We’ll learn more about Josiah’s family in the future!

#damian stasiuk #emery byran #overtime #overtime josiah #Josiah Nguyen #overtime demo #overtime damian

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multi-kpop-fanfics · 2 years

Text

Ride (Me) Back Home

pairing: boyfriend!Jun x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff, non idol!AU, established relationship!AU

warnings: dom!reader, sub!Jun, choking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dry humping, hair pulling, orgasm denial, slight degradation, praise, speeding up (drive safely pls)

Summary: A late night ride after a day at work takes a... naughty route.

Author's note: This is a convo turned into a fic. bye.

Taglist: @deobis-moon @newkyus-void @sleepylixie @aliceu @johnnys-sunflower @moonshineboyz @delicatewerewolfsoul @jenossslut @t-toodumbtocare @heresyourramen @shrutiajit

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You take off the apron from your body, folding it in place, leaving it on the counter. You bid farewell to your coworkers and push the door of the coffee shop open, getting out.

You check your phone and see a new message from your boyfriend

Junpi🐱: Hey honey, gonna be there in 10, wait for me <3

A small smile creeps on your lips at the message and you rest reassured, knowing Jun will come pick you up. You wait outside the shop, putting in your headphones, listening to some music for the time being.

Not a while later, a honk catches your attention and you take off your headphones, checking the source of the sound. You grin as the windows of a very familiar car roll down to reveal your boyfriend, smiling softly.

"Does the pretty girl want a ride back home?", he asks, lips curled in a smirk. "The pretty girl wants a ride back home with this handsome driver", you flirt back. You open the door, sliding into the passenger seat. "Any preference on the music, my lady?", "Nothing special, sir", you laugh while fastening your seatbelt. "As you wish, honey", he replies and turns on the the radio, revving the car engine back to life.

You watch the city lights color the interior of the car with neon hues as Jun maneuvers the steering wheel effortlessly with one hand. The other rests on your denim-covered thigh, drumming his fingers on your muscle along to the rhythm of the music that fills the car. You look at your boyfriend, studying his perfectly chiseled jawline totally relaxed, softly humming the lyrics of the song playing from the radio.

A not so innocent thought crosses your mind as Jun stops at a red light, his fingers still on your thigh. You start trailing your own hand on his muscular thigh, rubbing it up and down in a slightly suggestive manner. "Y/N, what are you doing, honey?", his voice barely audible. "Nothing, Junnie, just keep driving", you chuckle innocently. The light turns green and Jun presses on the speed pedal, trying to keep his composure.

Your hand goes up to graze his bulge and a nearly silent groan escapes his lips, as you rub it teasingly. "Honey, please stop it", he almost begs you and a dark giggle escapes your lips. You lean over the car panel, your lips ghosting Jun's ear.

"No".

You press your hand harder on his bulge and you feel his cock starting to harden in his pants and his groan is louder this time, as he loses his self-control and takes a sharp turn to the right, following an exit route. He pulls over, taking off his seatbelt and looking at you with dark eyes.

"I think it's time to do something, am I right, honey?", he asks you and you take off your seatbelt as well. "Lower your pants, now", you look at him in the eyes and Jun undoes the button and zipper of his jeans in seconds. "Your turn again, Y/N", he smiles and you jump over the panel, straddling his lap. You lower your jeans as well, positioning your lace-covered core right on top of your boyfriend's bulge. "Sit back and enjoy the ride, baby", you smirk seductively.

You start grinding on his lap, leaning in to spread kitten licks on the expanse of his neck, your lips sucking small love bites on his pale skin. Jun bites his lips, moans threatening to spill from his mouth and instead tightens his grip on your hips. The rhythm of his hips matches your own, a wet patch forming on your panties and his boxers, right on top of his already hard cock.

Jun loses his self control and his breaths are coming out laboured, as he feels his orgasm inch closer by each passing second. To his dismay, you lift your hips off right before he's about to cum, leaving him a thrashing, whimpering mess. "F-Fuck! Why did you d-do this?!", he whines. "Shhh, now's not the time to complain, is it, Junnie?", you shush him with a finger on his slightly swollen lips.

Jun thinks for a moment and dares to lick your finger teasingly and wrapping up his lips around the digit, sucking it slowly. You moan lowly at the erotic sight. "Please ride me", he moans after removing his mouth from your finger. "What did you say, Junnie?", you ask teasingly. "I said...please ride me", he repeats, voice coming out with a whine. "Is that the best you can do?~", a cruel smile forms on your lips. Jun takes your hand in his, placing it on his neck, wrapping your digits around the soft skin. You exhale shakily, the complete trust he has to you turning you on even more.

"Baby, please, use my cock to get off".

You throw all your self-restraint out of the window and push your panties aside and Jun's boxers low enough to let his hard cock spring free. You sink down on his shaft, moaning in unison with your boyfriend at the sudden stretch and warmth engulfing the both of you. You don't even wait to get accommodated to his impressive size, you start bouncing on his lap fervently, moans spilling from your lips, your hand lightly squeezing Jun's neck. He nuzzles his nose in your neck, inhaling the addictive scent of your skin, as he tries to thrust into your soaked cunt. You thread your fingers in his soft brown locks, pulling his head back and smashing your lips on his. Your tongue slips in his mouth with ease and he lets you establish your dominance, handing you over any kind of control.

"Oh God, baby, keep bouncing like that and I won't last long", Jun groans. "Oh? Is that so, Junnie?", a dark, cruel chuckle escapes your lips and you stop all of your moments in the blink of an eye, leaving Jun completely baffled. "Again? Come on, Y/N, this is too much!", he whines and thrusts upwards to get some friction.

"Did I tell you to move?", you snap at him, teeth grazing his ear. "N-No", "But you moved either way, is that right?", "W-Wait, please- Ah!", he whines almost painfully as you lift yourself from his lap, tucking him back into his pants, as if nothing ever happened. "If you want to behave like a brat, I can leave you like this for the rest of the night", you deadpan. "Nononono, please, please, it hurts!", Jun begs you. "You want to cum, baby?", "Like crazy", "Then drive us back home, sweetie", you graze his jawline with your nails.

You swear it was pure luck you didn't get a speeding ticket all the way back home with the force Jun was putting on the pedal. He's gripping the steering wheel hard enough to make the leather cover creak under his palms. You don't even realize you're already at home when he turns off the engine and he takes off his seatbelt haphazardly. He rushes to the passenger's seat, opening the door and pulling you out from your wrist. You both giggle as you fumble with the keys of the front door, opening it in a rush.

Once you're inside your house, Jun hoists you up in his arms and you wrap your legs around his slim waist, guiding the both of you to your shared bedroom. He lets you fall on the mattress with a soft thump, as he takes off his clothes in a hurry, revealing his lean, yet nicely toned body. You take off your own clothes at the same time, throwing them somewhere in the room, not caring about their whereabouts. Your face is mirroring Jun's expression, as he lays beside you, pulling you on his lap with his arms, his cock grazing your folds ever so slightly.

"Do I get my reward now, baby?", Jun smirks, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, hands wandering on your back teasingly. "Yes, Junnie, you've been a good boy", you smile at him sweetly, as you lift your hips to align your core with his painfully hard cock, slamming down in one go, moaning lewdly at the pleasant stretch. You wrap your hands around his neck, playing with the little hairs on his nape and he wraps his arms around your waist in a vice-like grip.

He starts fucking you in a fast pace, whimpers and groans spilling from his lips, as he nuzzles his head on the dip of your neck. "Oh God yes, Jun, you're doing so good, your cock feels so good inside me, baby", you praise him and his breaths grow shallower. "Fuck, I won't last long, Y/N, ugh", he groans, his thrusts getting more erratic. "It's okay, baby, you can cum when you need to cum", you coo in his ear lovingly. "Wanna...cum, with you...in you", he breathes and you mewl at his words. "Make us cum, Junnie, I know you can".

Your words are enough to make Jun topple over the edge and you feel his hot, thick cum paint your walls white and trigger your own orgasm as well, pulling his head to yours, kissing him passionately and swallowing every single sound in the bedroom. He gently thrusts into you, riding out your orgasm little by little. His cock slips out of your pussy, his seed slowly seeping out of you, dripping on the bedsheets.

The both of you fall back on the mattress, still into each other's arms, chests heavily breathing, looking at each other and giggling in unison.

"Who would have thought that picking me up from work could get so fun", you comment and Jun chuckles in return. "Does that mean I should pick you up from work every time you work a night shift?", he asks you with a suggestively raised eyebrow. "Only if you let me ride you in the backseat", you retort with a grin.

"Then you have yourself a deal, honey".

#jun smut #jun fluff #junhui smut #junhui fluff #svt jun #wen junhui #svt smut #svt fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #svt fanfics #seventeen fanfics #seventeen

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venomous-ko · 3 years

Text

Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong

Some major spoilers up ahead!

Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🤣🤣

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You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, “sometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????

Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?

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Lol! “Apex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🤣

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Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. 🙃😑👀

Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I was literally like 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 for that entire convo.

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I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, “yeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????

Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.

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That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!

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Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...

Godzilla: >:[

Kong: ...bitch.

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Precious girl: Thank you, friend 🧏🏽‍♀️

Kong: ☺️😴

THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!

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Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?

BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!

And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!

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Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!

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“I think it’s romantic,”

I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🤣❤️🤣

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WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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“This is page one in the ‘Playing God’ handbook, right?”

I’ve decided I love this character! 🤣

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WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THING—Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬

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Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!

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Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!

Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!

And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!

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WINE BREAK!!!

Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle

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Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! 😂😭

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“It’s not working”

Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!

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HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!

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HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!

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LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!

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This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!

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NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

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Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? 😂😂😂

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“It’s beautiful,”

Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol

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Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!

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*marvels at the creature creation ideas*

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Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*

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THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!

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“We going in?”

“Yeah”

The BALLS on this child!

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“AAAAHH 😐”

*fear*

LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!

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“Sacrifice Pit”

OMG 🤣🤣🤣

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I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD

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YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!

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YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!

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“Humanity, once again, will be the apex species,”

THERE it is!

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Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!

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*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???

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OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, “Nu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”

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Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?

FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!

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This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🤣🤣🤣

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I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭

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Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!

(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)

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BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!

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Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!

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FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!

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OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!

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Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! 😂😂 Ya douche bag!!!

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At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, “Ah! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”

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You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.

[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]

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*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, “Imma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!

It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!

Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???

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NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOU—AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!

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I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!

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“ that’s Apex property now,”

Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying “hey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”

Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????

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Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!

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Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!

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UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!

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OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!

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BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!

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LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH

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“Shoot him!”

WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!

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Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!

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Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!

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The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?

Da fuq!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!

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“Maintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”

That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!

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Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!

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GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! 🤤😋

[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert “Parmesan” to “oatmeal,” but okay! 😆😅]

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Kong be like, “Hey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”

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Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!

Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.

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EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!

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Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!

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THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!

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“Really? Groupies, again?”

First of all, again!?! What happened last time???

Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!

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“There can only be one alpha,”

Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!

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Kong said, “Yeet! YEET SELF!!!”

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I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!

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Kong’s expression , tho! 🤣🤣🤣

Like, “Can you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”

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Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

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“This is how we [...] win!”

Oh, honey, you ‘bout to die! Lmao! 😂

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Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for “coward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol

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Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!

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Dammit, he escaped!

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This girl is too good!

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Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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YEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!

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“I was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”

🤣🤣🤣

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“I’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”

GOD, I love this movie!!!!

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OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!

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YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!

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Kong said, “I’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”

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“Dad. Uh...Bernie.”

I fucking love Bernie!!! 😂😂😂😂

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JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!

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Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!

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Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!

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WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!

#SPOILERS #Godzilla #godzilla vs kong #King Kong #kaijuverse #my posts #my drunk ass #godzilla vs kong spoilers

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baku-bowl · 3 years

Note

Flat earthers, anti-vaxxers... as much as I want to laugh at them the fact they have strong followings is scary ._.

I'd rather trust my doctor who studied for years of his life so he could help his patients with medical care founded in proper science thanks

it's truly frustrating. I'm not joking when I say I spend a good 2 - 3+ hours of my life nearly every week day trying to educate my patients (and coworkers, even! had a good hour long convo with one of our security guards after work the other day) about the COVID vaccine/COVID in general, and I'm just so sick of hearing the bullshit they're reciting. I don't blame most of them, because it's the news and other supposedly "trusted" sources that are spewing that bullshit, and I understand that it's hard to sort through what's fact and fiction sometimes. but the looks I get after explaining everything to them and debunking their concerns... 🤦🏼‍♀️ I'm just like. why the fuck you even here. why do you want my opinion on anything at all at this point. why do you trust everything I told you during our visit up to this point, but suddenly my 14+ years of medical education and practice means nothing because I'm not vomiting up the same rhetoric from your precious facebook memes and tiktok conspiracy theorists. right. sure. fuck off.

like, bruh. I'm salaried. my paycheck is not concerned with whether you get the COVID shot. my morals and physicians' oath are the only thing driving this conversation.

also, the irresponsible healthcare workers all over social media whining and crying about the vaccine mandate for healthcare workers - they're the ones that piss me off the most. they're the ones who are ruining the integrity of the medical field. they're the ones that clearly know fuck-all about science despite working in the medical field, and who are exacerbating the problem.

uuuuugggghhhhh I'm so pissed and so fucking tired of all of this utter bullshit from the past 2 years. sorry, just using tumblr to vent.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Text

also i’ve been mulling over the “we’re Living ex machina!!!!” line and like, it still doesn’t make sense Really, but here’s my Afternoon Musings i guess

i’ve only actually seen ex machina once like 3 years ago but as i remember it goes a little something like This: some rando white-collar programmer guy has like, won a contest where the prize is to go hang out for maybe a few days or a week or so with this ~visionary genius~ tech dude played by oscar isaac at oscar isaac tech dude’s off-the-grid reclusive mansion or whatever.......i thiiiink the Protag Programmer won b/c his programming submission was Really Good but also maybe there’s a [randomly selected] element to it, or maybe we Think it was partly random selection but then learn it was actually All “yeah i chose you b/c your coding was the Best,” idk. doesn’t really matter but anyway yeah protag guy gets helicoptered in to the oscar isaac genius bro’s secret mansion

oscar isaac soon reveals he has this advanced ai android whomst he wants the Protagonist to study / turing test, and the protagonist does that, but during one Conversation Session with this android (who is named ava i think? and designed to Look Like a Woman oo) like the lights turn off and ava-i-think informs the protagonist she’s found a Weakness in the mansion’s security system and hackt it so that the power (and thus the Security / Monitoring Systems) shut down for a minute like this but could feasibly be thought of as a glitch and anyways she’s like yeah i have feelings and thoughts and i want to Not Be Trapped here, ya gotta help me out here buddy, and then yknow ooh the systems come back on, oscar isaac can Observe them again, intrigue.....tl;dr protag and ava keep having these short secret convos and Do plan to break her out, there’s this dramatic moment where oscar isaac (who’s natch been acting weirder and more erratic as the plot unfolds) confronts the protag after the protag has just like, tried to get him blackout smashed by Hanging Out With Him lmfao and oscar isaac is like “ooh i knew you were planning to break her out, i’m gonna stop you guys though haha pwned” but then oh further twist, turns out ava and protag Knew that was the case and were thinking one step ahead and idk but yeah they break her out and oscar isaac dies but ooh further twist!!! ava locks the protag (or well, just Does Not Unlock, As Planned) in some room and leaves the mansion and gets on the Helicopter meant to take the protag back to wherever after the planned end of his stay. and the protag is just stuck there b/c everyone else is dead and presumably he dies as ava gets to exist in the outside world now, idk, we don’t need ex machina 2 where he’s escaped or smthing lmao

and i do NOT get what winston is comparing their situation to lmfao. like, oh rian is like an advanced ai android??? if anything, her being the more like ~true believer in High Finance as a means of socially beneficial effect~ vs winston like, having the supposedly cutthroat and cold Math approach would make Him more of the ~oh no more a robot than a person~ (though i think it’s Ambiguous whether we wanna judge ava as more Scary Bad or Sympathetic).........you can’t even really make the connection that “oh no we’re being deliberately Replaced!!” b/c if winston is [protag programmer rando] and rian is [ava] and wendy is, i guess oscar isaac then, uhhhh oscar isaac most definitely did Not intend to ~replace~ the protag with ava, he very much wanted her trapped in his mansion still........and the protagonist Only got “replaced” by ava in the sense that she took his place on the helicopter out of the reclusive secret mansion. i really doubt she planned to, or would even be able to, like take over his identity/life beyond that.....certainly not his job lol like, coworkers are gonna notice you’re a different person, there was no implication the androids can like oh shapeshift their appearance or whatever, and no implications about what ava even intended to do in the Outside World which is kind of bemusing b/c like, what of the Practical Questions of being an android and needing whatever Fuel Source a robot does, idk that might’ve been addressed or smthing like “oh yeah they can just Eat,” also she clearly does not Trust People considering her only company was evil oscar isaac creator and she wasn’t interested in bringing the protag along, plus yknow the fact that she Did deliberately manipulate the protag into thinking that she wanted to escape into the world With him........but not like i guess she has any choice for any other world to escape into but the one with all the people where she pretends to be an organic human

like there is just NO point of comparison where these situations line up unless you get soooooooo like broad strokes about ex machina that you’d do better to compare your experience to Anything else lmao. like, does winston think she’s some like, ideal advanced version of him?? like you might consider a crafted AI android to be?? i don’t know but i mean i think we have a more feasible explanation for why he’s so Insistent about this totally being Ex Machina, if only b/c as a straightforward comparison i swear to god it doesn’t work lmfao None of these points line up at all with any significance that’s worth insisting on

given that winston’s Apparently Canonically meant to be crushing on rian, and we have his example of ribbing her by calling her “gal gadot’s quirky sister” which is like, okay so the dunk is “you look similar to this famous a-lister who everyone thinks is pretty” and “also you’re quirky, boom” like, i think that could easily be meant as like, a Tell that winston already ~likes~ her.............aaaand it’s also somewhat ~ambiguous~ but i mean i think it’s safe to say that in Ex Machina you may understand the protag as having Fallen For the ai android lady. so maybe we can Understand this invocation of ex machina as being like “ooh person meant to replace me is Attractive but ultimately i think this Overall Situation is a bad thing i shouldn’t feel this way i resent it” like, a bit of a Reach, but honestly it’s way more of a reach to think about applying anything else about this scenario to ex machina, so i could v much believe that the thought that went behind writing this is once again, like, “okay winston’s invoking one thing on the surface level here, but simultaneously he’s already (inadvertently probably) acknowledging like oh also i have a crush on her already”

between this episode seeming to be Setup and the [winston has a Canon crush] and the fact that it probably seems like They Will Fuck A Nonzero Number Of Times or Make Out At Least But It’s Billions So, Might Get A Humorous Cut To [Postcoital] Or A Scene Where They Arrive At Work Together Short Of Breath With Messy Hair And Hickies And Winston’s Got A Hoodie W/ “Property Of Rian” On It Until He Goes "Oh Shit Woops” And Hands It To Her And She’s Like “Oh Btw You Forgot Your Glasses.....Uh You Left Them Here On Your Desk Yesterday I Mean Of Course” And Hands Them To Him And An Unnamed Character Stands Up And Asks “Daily Poll: Who Had Sex With A Coworker Last Night” And Rian And Winston Raise Their Hands Before Going “Oh Wait” And Lowering Them With A Shake Of The Head And A Nervous Cough and i’m exaggerating but you know, the equivalent of the billions writing saying “wwinnnk” at us. i am fine with them having an unsolemn like, quasi-rivals-to-lovers (or -And-lovers) dynamic, even with it being a bit messy in like, still an overall Fun way, where yknow it doesn’t have to be peak epic romance cuz a) that’s just Always true and yet it can still be overall an okay thing even if they don’t quite get it together / mostly just trade sparks and sometimes hook up and b) idk seems like mayybe rian’s character isn’t meant to go beyond this season, so, an inherent limit there if true

i’m like Apologetic for being like “already i like their dynamic even as Romantique and it’s kinda cute and fun and i’m willing to continue to be engaged w/ this as long as the writing doesn’t completely fuck it up” lmao like, i guess i Did inadvertently give myself time to prepare for this exact eventuality b/c of wondering if this exact character would have A Thing w/ winston whenever she showed up and even if i was like “haha the character could show up Anywhere and do Anything and what are the odds, right” i was also like “hmm but i’m going to really think about it though” like, as always, didn’t think i was cassandraing that hard, but truly did do it 4x03 style where everyone else can be like “you never [made the text post or gave any indication you were thinking about “what if whoever she plays and winston have some kind of romance thing going on”]” and i can go “i only thought it but didn’t say it....doesn’t count” but well. i did think it lmao and why would i make it up.......sorry i had such a head start on Getting More Used To This Notion.......some crimes can never be forgiven.meme.......

anyways natch “intense horrible passionate” seems a little foreboding but maybe she was talking about it relative to [any Normal show] rather than the standards we’re used to on billions, where this was all but a Meet Cute, and a kind of quasi coworker rivalry where nobody’s taking it *that* deeply seriously and they also seem to mutually like each other by the end of 5x05 already so how not-amicable can it get. and re: Intense like, maybe the writing in future episodes will totally upend this, but i’d say rian and winston in 5x05, even when “clashing,” was like damn near laidback and chill. neither of them seem at all that pressed, but maybe even a sorta-playful Friendly Rivalry is more “intense” than, say, a dynamic that involves no rivalry at all. imo “Passionate” is just like, okay, so they’ll fuck or at least make out? sure. not sure what to make of “horrible” lmfao maybe again it’s addressing like “this is a lil messy and they’re kinda rivals!!!” like, certainly not an ideal start, except by billions standards it IS weirdly great. rian seeming good-naturedly amused by winston is something we didn’t get from his longtime-coworkers until like, now, sort of, and still not to the degree that anyone has smiled at him as many times as rian did in like that course of [1 min long First Scene Together] wherein also winston always gets off to a way worse start with people lmao............like everything about this seems Way Better And More Dialed Back And Grounded than usual, actually. but it’s that like, point of reference of “what’s Usual for winston and, more broadly, Billions” that maybe explains this weirdly strong language when all in 5x05 seemed chill actually

anyways like i said Sorry For Already Liking Rian/Winston This Much with my head start and all where like, i’m even tentatively looking forward to seeing where this goes, by “tentative” i also mean going [”i’ll kill you” the office.jpg] at billions where i am fully aware that maybe where this goes *is* a mess and not in like, just kind of a fun, non-melodramatic, not-treated-like-a-total-joke-but-also-not-that-big-a-deal way, where 5x05 could seem like Those Halcyon Days b/c everything from here out just devolves into an unappealing disaster.......but this is an unexpectedly solid start imo and like. even if this doesn’t become like this epic romance where they officially date and if rian does eventually depart the show by the end of the season, it can still just be Enjoyable and Fun for the characters and, god forbid, the viewers, where like, you don’t have to demand we be desperately invested with our entire life in this deadly serious heartwrenching epic romance, they can just kind of mess around and enjoy having a mutual attraction w/ this mathy rivalry and etc and it’s neither a tragedy of “the greatest love story of all time torn asunder” Or, truly god forbid,” this is a Whole Mess In A Bad Way b/c winston’s involved and ugh who could Really like him, being at all romantically entangled is an embarrassing mistake surely, ew cringe we hate him............like, cautiously optimistic in how like i always say that a Romantic Arc is just an easy/efficient way to develop both characters and it could certainly humanize winston an ounce in a show that treats him more like a walking algorithmic plot device and the thoughts of any viewers but us are limited to “winston annoying” basically........the show doesn’t seem to treat rian as a joke, so it seems possible that their mutual Romance in whatever way it unfolds could also be Not A Joke, which means winston’s part in it isn’t a joke, so that’s Some aspect of him for people to take seriously, for once..........like, the way his apparently-already-official crush played out in 5x05 *was* funny but it also didn’t seem like oh it’s a joke b/c his feelings are a total joke......it might seem that way if this *was* totally unrequited and going nowhere, but i somewhat get the sense that the interest is mutual even by the end of the ep, that didn’t strike me as a “shove off, it could Never Happen” shutdown from rian there, just like, hold off on that for rn maybe cue to rein it in a little, not just yet........anyways lmao i’m like “oh yeah i started this post about the baffling ex machina thing” but yeah the point is i think so far it’s pretty solid and i like it and am cautiously but [relative-to-billions level of Hopeful] about whatever developments we’re surely gonna get b/c it def sounds like this has Not ended with 5x05, but seriously @ billions i swear to god. yes so far the approach to winston’s crush here and even their unfolding mutual dynamique and dare i say, romantic interest, is being handled with an encouraging level of “this is Humorous but the characters / their feelings are not what’s being treated as A Total Joke or anything,” but who knows what will come next, this is billions and you can’t predict anything. fingers crossed about it all, though

#winston billions #i'm enjoying what we have so far anyways While I Can #still billions-grade Hopeful that it will continue to be enjoyable.......#i can imagine that things could continue to unfold in a fairly cute & fun way. i am already somewhat Doing So b/c i like them enough already #have enough gentle optimism that i absolutely can be let down by next week's developments...........We Shall See #seriously just tl;dr i'm not the least bit sure what the ex machina thing means. tentative ''it's as much a Clue that winston already kinda #is crushing as much as idk.....meaning anything else at all'' lmao.........like okay whatever it's billions just roll w/ the weird refs #like the seeming nascar-or-whatever related one whomever taylor was talking about tony womsthever from 2005?? i didnt research too much into #that like i don't need to know cuz idc and Why Would They.....maybe it's like wendy making the unnecessary metallica reference 4 sec later #where everyone's just automatically in [unnecessary references] mode.........#riawin

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

Had a chance to watch Ant-Man and the Wasp finally, and I don’t have enough time to post my thoughts in full now, so making a note to come back to it later:

Scott Lang is Valid. All Scotts are Valid. Scott Lang, Scott Summers and Scott McCall should start a We Are Valid club.

Hank Pym and Hope van Dyne can both go jump in a fucking lake. Yeah I said Hope too, and I meant it. While nothing new, what this movie obliviously shows about how insidiously ingrained classism is, at the most fundamental levels of our society and entertainment, is....something.

Like, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Hank and Hope’s passion to rescue Janet. What IS fucked up is how at every turn, their need to do so and restore their family is upheld as sacrosanct and justifying everything done in the name of that mission, while at the exact same time they have absolutely no regard for Scott’s desires to do the exact same thing with his family. Because they are the wealthy ones, the upper class, the patrons of the equipment Scott uses. He’s just their lackey, his heroism conditional on whether or not they even deign to grant him access to their toys, their mission of Family Over All must always be the priority, and when this conflicts with Scott’s own mission of Family Over All, this is either an obstacle or an annoyance in their eyes, or an outright betrayal at other points.

With the insidious part I was talking about being that the narrative supports their assertion that their needs are more important, the writers oblivious to the fact that their own unconscious biases in this regard (Upper Class equals Better or at least More Necessary) have them throwing their own titular hero under the bus in defense of this basic premise...a premise so basic they don’t even REALIZE their story is crafted to make this argument. (And srsly, another thing all these Scott protags have in common, lmao, like wtf is it with main characters named Scott who are treated as the villains of their own story for daring to stand up for their own needs and wants and not being willing to sacrifice everything they care about for the sake of people who would never sacrifice themselves or their wants for them??? Again...Scott McCall, Scott Summers, now Lang. Weeeeeird. Anyway).

But like, Hope literally abducts Scott in order to obtain his help rescuing Janet, waving off every objection he has as to how this could jeopardize his freedom and ability to y’know...RAISE HIS DAUGHTER, because her mission to save her mother, missing from her life for 20 years, is Valid, but his mission to NOT spend 20 years missing from his daughter’s life....she’s like, meh, can’t relate....okay wtfever. Everything Scott says about his concerns regarding potential consequences for his own life are dismissed as trivial and inconsequential. It’s covered and taken care of, he’s repeatedly assured, thanks to their arrangements that they put very little time and effort into crafting...and thus fall apart at like...the slightest provocation, like the very second anything with the rest of their plans starts to go wrong, it all unravels there. So like....his fears and worries are NOT trivial, the narrative even bears that out, it just also tries to at the same time defend their position of treating them as lesser than their own concerns.

Like Scott tells his trusted friend, the person HE values and has every faith in (faith that is born out by the fact that Luis only revealed their location via truth serum), where to find them so he can help Luis with their work plans they need to salvage their own careers and keep their business running, and Hank and Hope AND the narrative are like wtf dude, this is the worst thing you could ever do, and of course now the bad guys found us, what a bonehead move this was.

Even though, again, Hank and Hope literally drafted Scott against his will over his objections and gaining his full cooperation only after making promises to handle his concerns, promises that ARE NOT MET, because they are not infallible....but this doesn’t get acknowledged. Instead its emphasized that the guy who had the least agency here is the fuckup, for daring to prioritize his own needs and wants and job and livelihood and friends and coworkers and family over theirs, when they show zero actual empathy for any of his. Like, its textbook classism, Hank and Hope sniping at Scott all movie about how bad off they are because they’re on the run after what he did in Germany, their lives and careers are tarnished....but because Scott’s job isn’t as important as the things they do, its literally treated by them and the narrative itself as being irrelevant, not worth prioritizing. Scott’s ‘mistake’ in trusting a friend that under normal circumstances absolutely is trustworthy, is spotlighted, while their mistakes, relying on contingencies that aren’t actually able to support how much they rely on them, once things go south....are swept under the rug.

(And for the record, in regards to Scott’s going to Germany with their tech resulting in Hank and Hope’s reversal of fortunes....I mean, Hope basically says to Scott’s face her real issue is just that he didn’t ask her to go along. That its not even his actions or motivations they object to, so much as just his not asking their permission first. Using their tech under his own power, not as an extension of theirs. Even though elsewhere in the MCU, heroes are celebrated for following their consciences rather than upholding obligations they made to the persons responsible for empowering them in the first place - look at Steve defying the wills of those who gave him the Super Soldier serum, look at Dr. Strange defying the wills of his teachers who told him to keep his hands off the Time Gem, etc, etc. But the ex-con given size-shifting tech for the sole purposes of whatever the hell his ‘bosses’ tell him to do with it does the same, and the narrative’s like WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. And Hope’s final parting shot on the Germany matter again isn’t even that he was wrong....its that if she’d gone with him, he’d never have been caught. Like lol wooooow writers, way to obliviously lampshade your awareness that the rich will always have a get out of jail free card that the struggling single father literally does not).

And then back to what I was saying about how the writers throw their own hero under the bus for the sake of Hank and Hope’s wants (and yes I’m aware this is supposed to be Hope’s movie as much as Scott’s, but Scott was very clearly the protag of the movie this is a sequel to, so I’m not attempting to diminish Hope’s significance to the franchise, because again, none of this is me saying that Hope’s motivations aren’t valid, just that them always being elevated ABOVE Scott’s, her co-protag, is not)......like look at the convo Scott has with Cassie after they fake out Woo and Scott has what’s supposed to be his Come to Jesus revelation about his own actions. He literally tells his daughter that he’s a fuck up and he hurts people even when he tries to do the right thing, when like....source????

That framing only works if you, like the writers, take for granted Hank and Hope are in the right when they view Scott ‘ditching’ them/their mission in order to go make sure Woo doesn’t catch him out of the house and lock him up for twenty years as some great betrayal. IT’S NOT! It’s literally just him doing the EXACT same thing they do the entire movie! PUTTING HIS FAMILY FIRST. Every single time Scott talks about his status as an ex-con and his fears about being locked up, its NEVER about his own personal freedom or about all the things he wants to do that he can’t while on house arrest, etc. It’s always, ALWAYS centered around one thing and one thing only - making sure he’s able to be there for his daughter. This is his ENTIRE motivation through the entire film, the movie itself acknowledges it, and THEN it proceeds to INVALIDATE this by saying Scott prioritizing THIS over helping Hank and Hope rescue THEIR loved one is SELFISH.

A refusal to self-sacrifice for the sake of those unwilling to do the same IS. NOT. SELFISH. It’s just not! And the only way to make the argument it is, is by doing exactly what this movie does with its classism - take for granted that the lower class character is EXPECTED to sacrifice for his betters, while them doing the same in return would be deemed exceptional or proof of their selflessness, but it is certainly not something anyone should or would expect them to do.

But nah. The writers just do not even GET that they’ve elevated Hank and Hope over one of their own story’s protags to this degree, so they don’t think twice about making Scott’s prioritization of his family, his daughter, a FLAW he has to learn to overcome, IN A CONVO WITH THAT VERY SAME DAUGHTER, in order to be a true hero, and put others ahead of himself (and his daughter). As long as they’re like, richer or smarter than him, at least.

I mean.....lol.

And let’s not get into the fact that Janet literally engineered a way to HIJACK SCOTT’S ENTIRE BODY AND MIND when ‘necessary’, and the movie just...rolls with this. Hank and Hope don’t even feel a need to point this out to Scott when it happens and he has no idea what just happened. LOL. It’s so taken for granted that his role in all of this is to do or be whatever they want or need him to do or be, that like....the writers literally write his entire body being used without his knowledge or will...being something unremarkable. Not even worth noting. Unlike the incessant way any time Scott uses their tech without their express permission or for his own purposes, this is him having no respect for their genius in making it or their generosity in allowing him to use it.

Course, let’s also not get into the fact that body hijacking as a trope needs to diiiiiiiiiiiie omg, or at the very least NOT be treated as an opportunity for comedy and levity. It’s not. Stop it. Can we please kill it with fire? I know we’ve been doing this for decades, but it doesn’t change the fact that the idea of someone else literally using a character’s body for their own ends without that character having any agency in this whatsoever....like, that is an idea that certainly is worth exploring, has merit as a story....WHEN TREATED AS AN ACTUAL VIOLATION. NOT AS A JOKE. Oy. But I digress.

Moving on, since apparently I lied when I said I didn’t have time so I was just making a note to do this later, lol wow who could’ve predicted that WHOOPS ME....Ava and Bill Were Right.

Isn’t it interesting how Hollywood spends so little time and effort making white antagonists and villains sympathetic....because they know they don’t need to! Audiences will do the work for them! They’ll bend over backwards looking for ways to justify any and everything a villain does as long as they’re hot enough, or charming enough, or smart enough....as well as white enough.

No, Hollywood these days saves the effort of crafting sympathetic backstories and motivations for villains when those villains are marginalized characters. Because they’ve at least figured out that much. That there’s too much backlash in ALWAYS painting black characters like Ava and Bill as villains with no motivation other than greed or a desire for violence or whatever. They get that at least.

So when they make villains of color - and make no mistake, Ava and Bill were very much framed as the villains of this movie even if they were actually more just antagonists, with the technical villain being that white dude who is so irrelevant who even bothered LISTENING to his name? Like, the entire point of having Ava ramp up from her introduction as antagonistic but sympathetic to increasingly hostile to ‘our heroes’ to outright aggressive and violent at every turn (even though her motivations at no point changed, merely her desperation, as the very situation she was written as being in to make her sympathetic in the first place was actively worsening in a very real and tangible way)....like that’s fucking deliberate. The only point of that, narratively speaking, is for the writers to make the case like, this is WHY Ava does this, but see, now she’s gone too far, her reasons are an explanation but not an EXCUSE, this isn’t defensible at this point.

Y’know, kinda like I pointed out Hank and Hope’s motivations are perfectly understandable and an explanation for their actions, but not an excuse for the way they prioritize them over Scott’s motivations and concerns. Cuz just like Hank and Hope are essentially the villains of Scott’s story in my eyes, for that, the deliberate shift from focusing the spotlight on Ava’s motivations to focusing it on her increasingly ‘unhinged’ actions happens solely to ensure audiences SEE Ava as the villain even if technically there’s a worse, ‘true’ villain and we’re reminded by the end of the story to be sympathetic to Ava’s situation - once Janet has deigned to make that argument in her support. An argument that never would have needed making, mind you, if the narrative had kept the focus on how understandable Ava’s motivations were the whole time, instead of shifting that focus to the effect it had on the heroes, the ‘good guys’ ergo how could anyone hurting them be anything but the bad guy.

But my point here is like, Hollywood at least gets that when they have villains of color or other marginalizations, they have to at least make an effort to make them sympathetic....so long as its implicitly understood that no matter how sympathetic their actions, they’re still misguided. Still WRONG. Still not in the right. Like the good guys. The heroes.

Except....lol. AVA AND BILL WEREN’T WRONG. EVER. AT ANY POINT. THEIR MOTIVATIONS WERE EVERY BIT AS UNDERSTANDABLE, RATIONAL, AND JUSTIFIABLE AS HANK AND HOPE AND SCOTT’S. THE ENTIRE TIME.

And that’s the NEW (not new as in recent, just new as in latest) problem with how Hollywood writes marginalized villains....they put just enough thought into seeing things from their eyes that they’re able to craft sympathetic origins and motivations at all....and then they very firmly and deliberately slam on the brakes the second they’ve done that. REFUSING to go any further, to take that one step more...and not even because they can’t, but because they KNOW....that has the capacity to outright FLIP who is the villain and who is the hero in the story.

Because its literally all just about the framing. Scott and Hope and Hank aren’t the good guys because their needs and wants are better or purer than Bill and Ava’s. They’re the good guys for the SOLE reason that all of those characters have equally human wants and desires, and THESE are the ones the writers chose to present to their viewers as the good guys. To single out and say via their contexts and framing and the choices they WRITE every character making....in comparison, relative to everyone else in the film, THESE are the characters who are MOST right. MOST valid. And thus who you’re expected to support.

You could have written this EXACT SAME STORY from Ava and Bill’s POVs, called it Goliath and the Ghost (Goliath is comic book Bill Foster’s superhero code name)....and Ava and Bill would have been the heroes, while Hank Pym was the villain.

THE. EXACT. SAME. STORY.

Because the thing about Ava and Bill’s actions being understandable, the thing the writers and director KNEW and thus took actual, deliberate steps to COUNTER, so Ava and Bill DIDN’T end up stealing the designated ‘hero’ roles of the film....is that by virtue of their motivations being sympathetic, understandable....THEY WERE AS RIGHT AS ANYONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE.

We are all the heroes of our own stories. We are all the villains of someone else’s. That’s not just a cliche, a platitude. It’s like....a writing lesson. It’s literally JUST about the framing. JUST about who you focus on, who you CHOOSE to uphold as right and wrong, or right and more right.

Ava and Bill weren’t wrong. The movie just put every effort into making sure audiences were left with the takeaway (effectively speaking, not nominally)...that Hank and Hope were MORE right.

I leave Scott out because again, he was just kinda along for the ride here. His motivations remained as static as anyone else’s....he wanted to help, but as long as his daughter always came first....and thus Scott got pulled along in any direction those with more power and agency than him pulled on those particular threads. Characters can be just as influenced by the focus they’re exposed to as audiences. Scott’s exposure was to Hank first and foremost, thus just like the audience’s exposure was more to Hank than to Bill and Ava, Hank got more chances to explain HIS side of the story, HIS motivations, HIS reasons to Scott than Bill and Ava did. Just as is true of audiences. If Scott had met Bill first, for instance, if Bill had given Scott Goliath tech instead of Hank giving Scott Ant-Man tech, if Bill was the one Scott had more history with, personal investment in, and reasons to hear out...its every bit as likely Scott would have been on Bill and Ava’s side all along. Just like, again, is true of audiences. If every scene where Hank got to explain his version of events, his reasons for doing what he did back in the days of SHIELD and his associations with Bill and Ava’s father....if those scenes had instead been giving to Bill doing exactly the same thing, again.....audiences would have been just as likely to land Team Bill and Ava than the team the writers WANTED them to land on.

Because when everyone has a reason for doing what they’re doing, especially when everyone has a GOOD and understandable and SYMPATHETIC reason for what they’re doing...and these reasons lead to choices that put them in conflict with each other....

For all intents and purposes, its all the same at that point. Which means the ones who end up being the good guys, the heroes of the story, is PURELY the result of the intentional, deliberate choice writers make as to WHO they push forward and support as the ones whose motivations and choices we’re MOST meant to sympathize with, to identify with, and thus cheer for.

And that’s where Hollywood keeps failing time and time again with marginalized villains. Racism has literally written Hollywood into a corner where they obstinately INSIST on staying cuz racists gonna racist. That’s ultimately what it boils down to. As uncomfortable as it makes people to hear, even something like this film is inherently as white supremacist as any MAGA-hat wearing propaganda spewer.

Because along with the deliberate choice to make marginalized villains sympathetic and not alienate marginalized or socially conscious centered audiences that way......Hollywood continues to make the equally deliberate choice to KEEP those marginalized characters as the villains. Instead of ever pushing that exploration of their motivations, that focus on their choices....just a little bit further....just far enough to tilt the scales, flip the frame, and make them the heroes of the story instead.

And when you’re talking about black villains in particular, like with this story, yup, sorry not sorry, that’s white supremacy. Even if its not the particularly obvious, ‘ugly’ aggressive kind....that’s still a deliberate upholding of white motivations as Most Valid, for no other reason than to keep the white characters the MOST sympathetic...and thus the heroes.

When your black villains are ONLY villains because you literally refuse to LET them be the heroes, if it comes at the expense of white characters you yourself have written to be as not any more or less understandable than them, just that you’ve made the decision to be more personally invested in.....that’s literally upholding the white characters as ‘supreme’, narratively speaking, because they’re white, and you’re white, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.

*Shrugs* Anyway, ultimately my take is there’s a lot to like about Ant-Man and the Wasp, from certain angles. Scott’s a likable protag with a solid and relatable characterization, when the narrative chooses to uphold and support him. There’s funny bits, there’s nice, soft moments. I like that it was a superhero story where the inciting events and ultimate mission had a smaller, more contained focus than saving the world, that it was ultimately about saving family, using superpowers and superpowered stakes to go above and beyond in rescue or defense of individuals rather than only justifying such powers and stakes in defense of society or civilization at large....I think that’s a good note that a lot of superhero movies moving forward can benefit from. Tighter focus works just as well as broader focus so long as you use either appropriately.

But all that said....nope. Not good enough. Because also at the end of the day, IMO, like I said, its still a racist, classist movie singing the same old song with Hollywood and Marvel/Disney specifically, just willfully refusing to switch to another channel.

Because it didn’t need to be Scott’s story and it definitely didn’t need to be Hope and Hank’s. It could’ve just as easily been Ava’s story. It could’ve just as compellingly been her heroes’ journey. Self-empowerment, saving yourself from what others have done to you, is just as valid and defensible as saving a mother.

And the second they wrote Ava, who they initially had take off her mask to stand revealed as an exhausted and frightened young woman who went and curled up alone in some high-tech chamber to sleep....the second they took that same young woman they’d CHOSEN to write and introduce as sympathetic and understandable, that they’d introduced in such a way WITH INTENT....and then had her threaten Scott’s innocent daughter, with her own ally and father figure Bill then WRITTEN, with intent, as calling her out for this and threatening to abandon her if she does it, literally saying the words that she was going too far and thus signalling the writers’ clear stance that this made her now unsympathetic, this was a choice that was bad and thus she was now less valid and sympathetic than the heroes the writers still stood behind and supported, she was now less likely to ‘upstage’ them and steal audiences’ sympathies and support from them for herself instead....

That’s the second the movie fucked up and went just from uncomfortably classist but nothing new to just full on Nope, Fuck This Addition, IMO.

Because that was a conscious choice on the part of everyone involved. Willful intent. That was a giant Bat signal advertising that at least on some level, not even that deep, the writers were AWARE of how sympathetic they’d made Ava (how they’d intentionally made Ava)....and them then literally pulling back from that, BUILDING brakes for whatever train of thought Ava’s storyline had people heading down until then. Keeping her, narratively speaking, in her place. As a villain. Where they wanted her to be, and to stay.

And that’s just as fucking evil as any number of movies where the black character dies first or the gay character dies in their lover’s arms or any number of other more focused-on tropes known for their racism, homophobia, transphobia and the like.

When you set out to make your marginalized villains sympathetic and then put a CAP, a CEILING, on how sympathetic towards them you want audiences to be, when you say “I want you to understand them, just not enough to root for them,” when you make every effort to advertise “I see this character’s humanity, that they’re fundamentally no different from me, from any of these other heroes, they’re all the same....I’m just choosing to keep the white ones the heroes anyway”....fuck you. Honestly, that’s as bad as any other more obvious racism. That’s as much propaganda as any other instance.

I want people to care, just not care too much....because they still gotta care about the white character most....

Nope. Fuck ‘em. Burn it with the rest of the MCU’s trashiest takes. Scott Lang is Valid and Cassie Lang is precious, I really truly adore any focus on a single dad whose entire world honestly revolves around his kid, and I’ll read all the found family fic where its the Langs teaming up with Bill Foster and Ava Starr, but this narrative was bad, These Are Not the Heroes You’re Looking For, and Hank and co. can go fuck off to the quantum realm where their irrelevance can finally be equal to their ego.

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godshattered · 5 years

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halo-above-the-void replied to your post “job interview tomorrow...”

yeah i drive the worlds worst taurus and my last day of work i broke down at 1 am on the way home so they fired me for Unrelated Reasons but waited until i literally was stranded without a car to do it. the job definitely wore my car down to almost nothing and i regret it because now how do i get to a job? i dont

halo-above-the-void replied to your post “job...

im also gonna tack on because (at least where i was at) because you get tips they cut your pay. i got $5 an hour and it was bull shit. i could have an actual car by now if they didnt decide minimum wage + tips was too much money for a tired abused worker

ah shit that fucking sucks; i hate that that happened to you dude :/

maybe ill call it off in the morning then; i cant afford things but i definitely cant afford a new car and im not....quite so bad off that i cant just keep looking for something else yet

gunkers replied to your post “job...

honestly, delivery jobs are really hard on cars. it eats away at your mileage and any little thing that’s wrong will become a big thing and unfortunately tips dont cover it. i was having this convo today with an ex-coworker of mine

miserable sighing noises; i didnt realize that d drivers relied on tips for the primary wage source haha, thought maybe it would be....not like that

naive of me i suppose ;t but ty both for the input

#halo-above-the-void #gunkers

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transnamesuggestions · 6 years

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Hi I’ve been trying to find names for like two years and I can never settle on one I like or that I think suits me. It’s really getting to me so do you have any advice on what to do about finding one. Because I’m tired of going round in circles. Thanks!

I 100% understand the struggle. I’ve been one to run around in circles with names as well. Something that I did when it came to finding one after going through months and months of jumping around with names was revisiting old lists and seeing if any stuck out or were consistent from list to list.

Something else that seemed to help me was asking people I was close to what name they thought fit me best, either out of my top choices or just asking upfront what names they thought fit. I also reached out online and asked several sources (blogs like this, general posts on my pages, etc) for people’s suggestions of names or to help me narrow down my lists

Eventually I just stuck with one that seemed to be the best fit. It took me a really long time to really feel like it was my name and even still I use different names in different situations (ie. my partner, and often family, refers to me by my middle name, my friends/coworkers call me by another and I often use monikers online)

I hope this helps some and of course feel free to reach out again to talk about this more. I’m more than happy, if you want, to have a convo about it :)

- ganz

#Anonymous #replies

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hereisisa · 6 years

Photo

I can’t believe this prick is using the logo of Brittany&friends campaign as header.

In case this fandom doesn’t know him, he’s a vancouver-based “actor” from the tv show “once upon a time” who’s accused of sexual harrassment from several women.

From his coworkers (he owns a actors school in vancouver and his own working partner is accusing him of harrassing several young women -their students-) and from several fans of the tv show “once upon a time” who met him at conventions. The accusations come from at least 13 women.

His defensive line is “there are not video proofs, so they’re lies”. Obviously a girl doesn’t aspect to be asked to join a threesome with him and his wife so yeah, she probably didn’t think of taping their convos. Mind you, I’m not saying he did it, I’m saying this is one of the accuses. From different women. With his own collegues against him……

(As a reference, here’s an actor of “once upon a time” confirming the accusations: Bruce Blain )

My point tho is not confirming or denying the accusations, it’s not my job. (He has been removed from the “Once upon a time” conventions’ line-up though). My point is that he’s using the beautiful message of the #LoveIsLouder campaign to trying to save his ass.

“In 2010, we started Love is Louder with The Jed Foundation to amplify a simple message – love and support are louder than any voice that tries to bring us down. Our movement started at a time when there was a lot of anger and confusion online after a series of tragedies involving bullying”

Source: loveislouder.com

He should not, at any capacity, being involved with “love is louder” foundation and he should stay the hell away from it.

He may be able to scare the victims away (they’re just teenagers after all….) but one thing is sure: He’s not a victim of online bullying. He’s using it the campaign to hide behind it.

Just a FYI to Brittany’s fans.

A few articles about this story:

HollywoodReporter

TheStar

msn.com

Google him and you’ll find more.

#Brittany Snow #love is louder

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whatafirefeelslike · 3 years

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loved and in love for the first time

i realized today i’m in love with my boyfriend. i knew i loved him but i realized today as he was talking that i’m also In Love with him. and i told him and almost cried and he was so happy (he told me last week, then kind of took it back, but then said this weekend “oh yeah i’m fully in love with you”)

yes i’m supposed to be getting my period this weekend (though i’m Nervous bc. we have literally been fucking 3-4 times a day since friday night but i’m getting the PMS symptoms so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) and my logical brain is protesting almost everything. like he doesn’t have a job and that’s definitely a big thing for me, and him!!, he has depression and anxiety which i can unfortunately relate to, etc. and as i said last week in a Long post like this, i’ve only known him for about a month. we matched on bumble one weekend, towards the end of january when i was starting to feel a little better. i was oscillating between wanting a relationship or continuing down the casual route but i saw he wanted a relationship and that really excited me. i really liked his profile, especially that he still thinks about rihanna’s performance of shut up and drive with FOB. i was so nervous about sending a first message because i really wanted a response so for whatever reason i went with the front bottoms lol.

but the rest is history and despite my best judgement i’ve fallen in love with him, after loving him and becoming his best friend and vice versa. he is so good to me, and for me. we go from having serious deep convos to crying laughing to having sex to cuddling to playing smash to just hanging and reading. he is almost everything i want in a partner, but i love that he isn’t perfect. like he doesn’t really cook but i’m teaching him and we’re doing it together, so we’re both learning etc.

he says he can envision a future with me and we’ve talked about it a little bit...i could totally see myself moving in with him in the near-ish future, september the earliest as that’s when the lease for my place is up (not sure when his is) (also i didn’t sign the lease so i could leave any time lol). but i need him to have a job/a track in grad school because while i have a growing career (more on that in a bit), and fuck capitalism, i don’t want to be a sole breadwinner and really want him to have a source of income for himself.

but my god i’m in love. i never thought it could happen. i’ve opened up to him more than almost anyone else in my life. he’s opened up to me too and i feel so connected to him and vice versa. we have plans to go on a proper date this weekend into manhattan which i’m so, so, so excited for. i also brought up as he was walking me back to my place that i am happy i’ll be on my period this weekend and we won’t fuck much. he was so relieved lol it has taken such a toll on both of us to literally have sex 3-4 times a day for days straight. my orgasms are not as powerful as usual lol. there’s something so powerful, though, about how much we have sex--like on valentines day. god. we made gnocchi and it took us hours because we kept stopping to slow dance and then make out and then go to my room. i love that. and i love that we can just hang out without fucking.

i recognize how crazy this is and i’m so scared and nervous about the future--i read a short story in a book i’m working on today and it made me nervous for where we’ll be months into our relationship, as we’ve just entered our second one together. i know i shouldn’t dwell on it and i don’t want to. i was dreading going back to my apartment today but now i’m glad i’m here to have time to do what i want like run and read and watch the sopranos lol

but yeah speaking or reading. i applied to a job kind of out of the blue because it’s for an imprint i REALLY admire. like the job i have now is kind of on track for my dream job, one of the imprints i work for does the books i love love love. but i also work with three others, one of which i really don’t like. so this would be so much better, and a promotion! i applied about 2 weeks ago and then saw last week it was taken off the website, was v nervous bc i hadn’t heard anything. and then! i got an email sunday morning! and had to write a sample pitch to show my skills. so. i did that and sent it off a day early. not sure when i’ll hear back but i’m so fucking nervous. now i really want it. i feel bad because i’m really excited about the books i’m supposed to be working on this fall but now i’m like.........it feels like i have premature senioritis, which i never had before. i feel bad bc i really like my coworkers and i’d love to come back someday if this job works out. i think if i nailed the pitch and get an interview....i’ve done well in interviews like 5/6 times so. i want to have a good feeling about this but i’m SO nervous. i also have to address salary bc i put a low one for my expectation...i could really ask for a between a $5k-$10k raise. if i could get $7.5k or higher and be in the $52.5k+/year range i would be so so so so happy and not feel so nervous about spending money. i’ve been thinking more about getting a tattoo v soon so maybe if i get this job i’ll celebrate with that. ideally i’ll be able to take a week or two off from work between jobs because i’d love a nice break. so fingers crossed the job works out. and everything crossed that my relationship works out because i love it and him so much.

#alison rambles #my life is crazy in what feels like a wonderful way

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cedar-woods · 4 years

Text

Frustrating to Amazing

Thats my wife. I didn't know where else to get this out since my mind was racing after our convo last night. You all are the open minded folks and freaks(the good fun type) ha that are appreciative of this stuff.

We are 40 and married 15, together for 20 with 4 kids. I say that partly as pinch to myself because i and we are fortunate to be so sexual still and into each other. She has always been fun and willing in the bedroom and we do some great stuff. She still gives me great BJs in various positions, we have sex in different locations, and sex is great and fun, ect.

When it comes to talking or having sexy convos and asking questions/pushing envelope though, ironically its like pulling teeth and not as good. Sometimes she even gets upset like I'm not satisfied and she or our current sex is not enough. Thats totally not case and i just enjoy talking about sex and fantasies and so forth. It gets frustrating because other times in the moment or during some hot sexting shell say the greatest wildest "fuck my mouth" type stuff lol. Then other nights ill bring up subject of sex or an idea and she is like shrug, eh, and short.

But wow last night she came with some doozies ha. She first tells me her romance books are PG and convo isn't going anywhere. Then i ask her to ask me questions since shes bad at answering ha, and knowing my wild sexual brain ha. She brings up anal and says shes intrigued for sure now, then says in one of her books the woman gets take by human/aliens to a sex room and she pleasured. One thing that happened in the room was DP and she said she was like hmmm how does that work, sounds hot. So.much for PG ha, My jaw is on the floor and she is just texting away all care free like yeah why not, id try it. She says all non chalant, "having double in me will make it tighter too right" Like holy cow who is this woman? Toys are brought up and i say i bought a dildo so one day we could simulate the MFM thing(which shes up to this point been kinda so so about) and shes again like oooh sounds hot yeah lets do that. Like wtf haha.... so i got anal, DP and a dildo 3some simulation in one 45 min convo. Oh and she said i could take some phone pics during sex for some material since I'm away for work too. Also if u saw or met her she is the nicest sweetest and great mom type person ...ha...it just adds to her mystery and hotness.

Had to get it out and let some folks know since i cant really tell coworkers and friends about my wifes DP books and fantasies haha.

submitted by /u/PAbill79 [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/if6dyh/frustrating_to_amazing/

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lonelyboichronicles-blog · 7 years

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November 8, 2017

Hello and welcome. I am the Lonely Boi and these are Lonely Boi Chronicles. I got a post for you today, but I’m gonna start by explaining what this is going to be. It is venting. Online therapy. A journal/diary. This is more for me than anybody but if people find it and can relate, then I’m glad we can all support each other and have a conversation. Daily, I will be talking about my life, my day, my thoughts, and my journey as I look to get over myself and my personal issues in like while I search for happiness in like and within myself and whatnot. This first one will be a little heavy considering I’ll have to give you some background, but HERE GOES!!!

So I’ve been single for about 4 and a half years now. I guess I’ve only felt like it for about 3 though. When I fall for girls, it’s usually really hard. I can explain exactly what happens. I think they’re attractive right? Start having conversations and just pick up on small things that I really like. After that, its over with. My mind does the rest. It imagines our life together. The dope ass perfect dynamic that I think we’d have based on things I’ve seen, what I know of myself, and what I personally want. Next thing you know, I’ve fallen in love with somebody that I barely have any momentum with. I guess I’m not really falling in love with them. More so falling in love with the idea of them, or with what we could potentially be. It always happens, and I feel crazy and pathetic for it, but it is who I am and I need help.

My last relationship started the same way. A girl I thought was beautiful so I started talking to her. I heard awesome things about her, we had some cool convos, I felt like we were perfect for each other, so naturally I wrote our entire love story. Execution though. MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS. It’s essentially non existent. I tried for years to like let her know how i felt, to find out how she felt, to make something happen. Never worked. It got to a point where I found out she was messing out with (”dating”) some other dude and that I should probably give up. I started dating somebody else, hoping it would help me get over it. It did but didn’t. My feelings didn’t go away, but I stopped thinking about her as often as I did before. That relationship was toxic so we parted ways in the messiest way possible. That when i realized that I never got over the girl from before, but I told myself I was done trying. Well what do you know.... once I stopped trying, it came together and we started dating...3 and half years after the initial feelings developed.

You can paint a picture of what you think it’ll be but it rarely turns out that way. In SO many ways, we had a bunch in common, but in just as many ways, our personalities clashed. I was stubborn, she was insecure, it was a roller coaster that I was willing to ride because I loved her so much but I had to cut ties because I didn’t wanna lose her forever. We transition to friendship...it took a while. A lot of sex in between. Great sex. Anyways. Once we did move to friendship, things were probably at their smoothness. We both acknowledged some feelings, but preferred things as friends. That friendship eventually ended though as she got in a relationship with somebody who didn’t like me and naturally she chose to cut me off.

Losing that friendship was a huge blow to me tbh. Ask some goofys, and they’d attribute it to some secret agenda I had to steal her back. We were having sex up until like less than a week into the relationship soon if I wanted to steal her back....I would’ve. It hurt because I thought we were genuinely friends. Sex or not, I cared about her as a person, I cared about her future, and cared about everything she had going on. She was there for me more than anybody during one of the hardest times of my life. Maybe I’m just soft, but that means a lot to me and by the transitive property, she meant a lot to me. Being dropped despite all that, cut deep as fuck because I would’ve never done that to her, and it kind of just showed me that she didn’t really care about me, the person, the individual, but really just cared about me, the person who has something specific I could offer her at the time.

So yeah, that hurt. It bothered me for a while. 2 years after last speaking to her actually. I only got over it maybe 4 months ago. Back in July or August, I thought about her for the first time, and the happy memories came, instead of that hurt. Maybe time does heal all. Even so, things still haven’t been the same for me.

I’ve been numb ever since her. As a whole, there just been this lack of feeling. I have some women in my life, at one point she was included, that would bless me with their vaginas. A lot of uncommitted sex with these 3, but it never felt intimate. It never felt deeper. It legit felt like lust. A physical need for sex but not the emotional satisfaction of it. There is definitely a difference between sex and fucking. I was fucking a lot, but with the same women and it just felt messy to me. It felt messy and unfulfilling so I told myself that I needed to stop. And I did....for the most part. I have messed around with them but no actual intercourse, but it was a brief moment of weakness. I been back on my shit.

ANYWAYS, I wanted to grow. I WANT to grow. I realized that every girl I’ve dated, every sexual interaction I’ve had, has all been on accident. The “girl of my dreams” ignored me when I tried and got with me when I stopped. The girl I got with to get over her, I wasn't pursuing because I was so focused on the other one. I’m not gonna get into the weeds of all the other shit, but regardless, it has never been an “I want this, so I’m going to try and get it and succeed” type of thing. I’ve been blessed, but when you see your peers getting all they want and some shit they don’t you start to doubt yourself a little bit. “Am I good enough?! Can I do this?! Self worth, often comes to mind in these moments because I have nothing to validate my own efforts with. I told myself no more sex with the ones from before. I started my quest to find my confidence and my game. I am still questing.

Last year, I made waves with three women. Not big waves, but our interactions/connections may have been more than nothing. One was throwing herself at me. It came of disingenuous because my friend just started dating her best friend, so it came off like she was very much just trying to create a double date type situation. Not wavy.

The other two were interesting. One was a coworker. Super sweet girl and beautiful but kinda young. I was 23 when we met and she was 18. Everybody told me that’s fine because she’s of age, but she was still in high school and it felt just weird to me. We would talk and laugh and shit at work. I didn’t think too much of it, but then I found out that she actually liked me. I thought she was super dope, but I didn’t let my mind take it that far because of the age thing, but once I found out she liked me too, the idea floated through my head. Her ex was trying to come back into her life and she was legit torn between the two of us. So much so, that she lied about him calling her to me lol. Felt kind of good lol. AGE THOUGH!!! I let it die. Didn’t put in the effort. Told myself, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. (That’s bullshit, I should’ve at least established some long term potential friendship communication).

The last one was also a friend of that girl, but it didn’t feel as fake as the other. This one was the one that I allowed my mind to run with. She just started dancing with me one day. And then again another day, but like the whole night. You know me, I’m in my head planning our first kiss, and wedding, and she had some decent cheeks so I’m like maaannnnn i can’t wait to get in that. I was scared though. I wanted to make moves but froze because I didn’t know if she like me forreal forreal. Added her on various social medias, didn’t send a message, but slowly falling for the persona she presented online. “Damn she like this, damn she likes that?! Yoooo me too, we could be doing this?! You tired of dude who do that?! I don’t, I got you.” Cornball shit. These 3 interactions made me feel like I’m not ENTIRELY a lost cause. Two of them were more important than that though. For this first time, since i started developing feelings for my crush...8 years ago, I felt that excitement again. I had been numb for like 3 years feeling nothing, and then almost at once I felt the purest form of it from a number of sources for the first time in even longer than that. It felt good, just to feel again.

We’re almost at present day. I swear this is the only one that’s gonna be like this.

So I stalk these two girls pages damn near daily. Well I stalk the one who danced with me daily, I creep on the other one once or twice a week. Mind you, I’ve made no moves outside the ones in my head (crazy and pathetic). Meanwhile, I constantly see them living their best lives and shit lol. Fallen off with both, and in that time, I’ve met nobody new. No new women who are randomly interested in me. No new women giving me that feeling again. The most I got was this one who likes my eyes, and snapchats me for attention while being incredibly devoted to a man who doesn’t treat her right. I guess thats a woman to talk to, but not really exciting. Just kinda meh. That empty going thru the motions like the sex from before.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m really kinda depressed about it. About how I haven't had sex in two years, and how I haven't felt deeply for somebody in 4 years. Meanwhile my friends are making huge life changes, getting approach by potential love interests, being active. LIVING!!!

WE MADE IT TO PRESENT DAAYYY!!!! HOORAAAYYYY!!! So yeah, I decide to act. It had gotten to the point where I didn’t have shit to lose. Yesterday I send the dancing girl a message. No response. I’ve been following her on snapchat for a minute now. Crazy timing, for the first time in all this time, she’s posting shit that makes it seem like she’s got boyfriend. Mind you, for the year since we met, it’s all been single girl shit all over. THE DAY I MESSAGE HER!!! Some dude rubbing her feet and her all happy emoji and shit. Today a screenshot with hearts and talking about how he can’t wait to nap with her. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY NAPS WITH HER!!!! I waited too long.

I’m honestly shook. Kinda lost. She gave me this feeling, for the first time in a long time. It felt good. It felt like I was a live again. I associated her with the feeling and now she’s like....taken lol. I’m not even mad either. She's like beautiful. I’m surprised she was single as long as she was. If I had more confidence and self worth, I would've most definitely tried to make that happen as soon as I met her. I’m actually really happy for her because she seems like one of those girls who wants that connection and relationship. I wanted to be that, but I can’t be mad at it.

But yeah, my old coworker is still young. She’s doing hair and stuff now. That’s dope, but I can’t help but feel like I’d be a waste of her time. She’s pursuing a passion of her. She’s probably being pursued by dudes her age, if not already locked in with one. I could reach out to her, but morale is low right now.

I miss that feeling. I miss having somebody to talk to, to just hang out with intimately. I miss that connection and I’m happy for all my peers who have it, but I’m also mad jealous of all my peers who have it. I’m worried I’ll never find it. The fact that I’ve barely felt it over all this time, is a little bit alarming to me and how I feel like my success rate will be.

I don’t know. Maybe I need to get out more so I can meet some people. Either way, I’m probably gonna jerk off and cry or something before I go to sleep since I don’t have work tomorrow. Hopefully I can get a sign and somebody can guide me toward where I need to go.

Until next time,

Lonely Boi

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thenamesphan · 7 years

Text

Slow It Down Some // d.h.

inspired by: Slow It Down by Tiffany Gouché (highly recommend listening while reading)

warning: i swear my fics get more sinful as i go. This is a bit more smutty than my usual, but don't worry it doesn't get graphic.

wattpad version

When your slightly warm and sweaty palms lifted from my eyes, my surroundings were encapsulated in deep red and touches of dark purple. Dimmed fairy lights and lit candles illuminated the ruby painted walls and danced across the kitchen table where your famous spicy curry was divided onto two plates. Red wine filled halfway in each glass and cutlery placed informally beside the dishes. You stepped in front of my vision, and a shy, excited smile formed across your face.

“Wow Danny,” I said impressed by the effort you had put into making Valentine’s, one of my lesser favorite holidays, a little more special. “You ready outdid yourself.”

“Well I thought we might as well make a night out of the one time we have the apartment to ourselves,”

“Ooh, and what did you have in mind?” I said, hooding my eyelids as I looked at you.

“Well dinner first, because after cooking all this I’m am famished.”

You grabbed my hand and led me to my seat. You rushed over to your side and we pulled out our chairs together and sat. Our boney knees bumped against each other as we scouted in. My feet instinctively wrapped around your ankles and subconsciously rubbed up and down your jean-covered calves as your toes wiggled in response. Our dinner convo proceeded as normal. I asked about your day, you shared a few posts you saw whilst scrolling through your tagged posts. You asked about my day, I shared how my coworker had her birthday today so the whole office had a little valentine's-birthday party.

“I don’t know how I would feel about having a birthday on a holiday, because then the day is never really yours, you know?” I inputted.

“Yeah there’s that, but also more people are willing to celebrate and bring cake,” you replied.

“True,” I said before taking my last bite of rice. I looked over at your plate and noticed you had been using your fork to fiddle with the last grain of rice on your plate.

“Sorry I eat so slow,” I laughed.

“Sorry I eat so fast,” you replied with a smirk before scooting the chair out and grabbing my plate along the way to the kitchen. I listened to your heavy footsteps behind me and to the clinking of plates and running water.

“The curry was excellent, babe, more spicy this time” I yelled back as I wiped off whatever had fallen off my plate and onto my pants. We weren't huge on romanticism, but these occasional nights where it’s just you, me, curry, and candlelight were the nights I felt most at peace. Warm, rose lighting was a comforting contrast to the fluorescent fixtures and blinding blue light staring back at me from my computer screen all day. I jumped as quiet hands found their way to my shoulders.

“Oh my gosh, don’t sneak up on me like that,” I said as I let out a laugh of relief. You replied by applying wet kisses down my neck. My hand reached up behind me and found your curls. Once your lips parted from my skin I took this time to stand up and face you.

“Thanks about the curry,” you smiled. “I used a different sauce.”

“Oh really,” I said lightly biting my lower lip and wrapping my arms around your neck, letting my hands hang across your shoulder blades. “Changing it up, eh?”

“Just trying to spice things up,” you say, pulling my hips closer to you.

My hands slide down your back and I felt you tense up as I sank to my knees. I look up at you in search of consent, a habit we didn’t want to break even after being together for a while. To my surprise you backed away. Instead you leaned down and picked me up by my armpits and carried me until my bum hit the side of the kitchen table. I did a little hop to comfortably sit on the wooden edge. You pushed yourself in between my legs which I wrapped around your hips. You looked into my eyes. Your skin had a pale red glow to it, and your chapped lips were slightly swollen due to the spiciness of the sauce.

“Let’s slow this down a little,” you say before planting a kiss just beside my lips.

Every touch seemed magnified as it was agonizingly slow for how badly I wanted you. You sent sparks and goosebumps down my rib cage and through my legs as your cold hands found their way under my shirt. As things heated you started to gently grind against me, breathing hushed moans into my ear causing my baby hairs to tickle my cheek. My hands dug deeper into your curls as I wanted you closer and closer. I sloppily kissed you as we let our tongues slip in and out with each kiss. You gently pushed me back onto the table as you desperately kissed me like my saliva was your life source. You broke free and stood up as I used my elbows to scoot backwards onto the table to where my legs weren’t hanging off the edge. I hungrily watched as you unbuckled your belt and slipped out of your black skinny jeans, hopping a bit as the ankle got caught on your heel. I quickly unzipped my trousers and proceeded to fling them across the room for dramatic effect. You climbed onto the table and met your face with mine, your breathing slowing as we stared into each other.

“See, Valentine’s isn’t that bad,” you said brushing a few loose hairs from my forehead.

“Mmm, we’ll see” I grinned.

literally uploading this at 10 pm valentine's day i love being late to every single holiday

sorry i haven't posted in a while, school has been biting my ass but i'm so close to graduating whoop whoop(confetti emoji)! i hope you've had a better week and an even more amazing valentines, whether that be treating yourself to some candy and a bath or spending it with your friends or partners.

much love xo!

masterlist

#danisnotonfire #dan howell #dan howell imagine #dan howell imagines #dan howell fanfiction #dan howell fanfic #danfic #dan howell x reader #dan howell smut #danisnotonfire fanfic #danisnotonfire imagine #danisnotonfire x reader #danisnotonfire smut #my writing!

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