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#storytime
a-silent-symphony 2 days ago
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HAPPY FLOORISH ANNIVERSARY!!! 馃コ
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jaubaius 4 months ago
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chucktaylorupset 4 months ago
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You can鈥檛 just call the 鈥渄on鈥檛 stop me now鈥 essay writing method the second worst essay method you鈥檝e heard of and not tell us the story of the worst one 馃憖
i know a guy whose patented essay writing method is to, on the eve of the due date, set an alarm so early it should count as an atrocity, open an empty word doc on his computer and then placing it on his bed,
he then goes to sleep, presumably after drinking a full can of coke, as his immunity to caffeine, adderall, and the general life choices about to be described prove that (1) this man almost certainly is a colossal case of adhd and (2) that is the least of what's wrong with him
when the alarm goes off he immediately starts typing into the word document whilst in a sleep adjacent fugue state. once he hits the required word count, he turns over and goes back to sleep, without ever having fully woken up
he awakens in the morning with however many pages of essay typed up and ready to submit, with no memory of what content is actually contained, as if he'd been visited by santa or a mystical essay delivering fairy or a demon that engaged in a brief bout of possession and then peaced out after rightfully deducing that inhabitation of this particular body and its life was a task said demon was not equal to, nor would continuation of this possession constitute as a desirable state
all of this so that he can have the benefits of an essay, whilst completely avoiding a mental state in which he is at any point fully present in experiencing the pain of writing an essay.
This man is now in graduate school.
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authorkims 8 months ago
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whatsupbeanie 3 months ago
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Babies can be so hard to read sometimes haha! I鈥檓 just glad I didn鈥檛 offend this baby somehow, apparently she just has very intense facial expressions when she鈥檚 curious about something.聽
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daily-cats 2 months ago
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馃憖馃惐 Many don't realize how adaptable blind cats can be. My blind cat LeLe is actually very smart. LeLe may not be able to see the bed (or how high it is lolololol), but he can leverage his other senses to navigate. LeLe is able to use his sense of touch and hearing to gauge the height of the bed & navigate distance by listening to Scott's voice! With practice, lele eventually learns to memorize the bed frame, it's height, and how to navigate his way to the top. Of course LeLe doesn't always get it right, so practicing drills with kitty gogurt at the top always helps and encourages lele. What I love most about LeLe is his fierce sense of bravery to explore new things! He's such a bold adventurous kitty.
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thenatsdorf 28 days ago
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A kitten story (via)
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xiaq a year ago
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Small Town Grocery Store Stories: LGBTQ+ friendly edition
Me: minding my own damn business in the grocery store
One of my students and a few of his teammates enter the dairy aisle.聽
My student is holding hands with one of his teammates.聽
My student: Oh hey, Professor X!
Me, who has both my student and his girlfriend聽in my class: ...Hello
My student, looking at his hand-holding partner: Oh! Don鈥檛 worry. My girlfriend knows. Not that I鈥檓 cheating! I鈥檓 not cheating. I鈥檓 not gay.
Hand Holding boy: Not that being gay is a bad thing! It鈥檚 a good thing!
My student: Right! But no, listen. We aren鈥檛 together, we just hold hands in public sometimes.
Hand Holding Boy: Especially on Friday nights. And weekends. And at away games.
My student: Because sometimes people will say shit and then we can fight them! And if the fight started because someone was being homophobic, coach won鈥檛 get mad at us.
Hand Holding Boy: Always nice to threaten a homophobe. And [gesturing to another boy in the group]聽maybe they鈥檒l think twice about saying something to [other boy鈥檚 name]聽if he ever gets a boyfriend and wants to hold his hand for real. The Gay One, resigned but smiling: I鈥檝e decided it鈥檚 sweet and not really fucking weird.
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catchymemes a year ago
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probablyfunrpgideas 5 months ago
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We know the perils of naming things as a GM. You might be too mundane: Bob, the bronze dragon of the southern coast. You might be too archaic: what do you mean the party can鈥檛 remember the archmage Zenithisces Miramandovion Shorfodorf?
We have tales of the GMs who created the legendary sword of Jeo鈥檓 Amah by mistake, or panic-named two people the same thing (shout out to Skinny Greg and Stocky Greg). But yesterday I think I ran into one that was my own dang fault.
Idea: say names out loud. Say them many times. If they are too fun to say, there will be problems. Do not by any means name your terrible monster 鈥淜long鈥 even if you want him to be a King Kong reference.
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gardeningintrests 4 months ago
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Humans are weird : illusion of sound.
I'm pretty sure everyone here has at least experienced hearing sounds that aren't there. like someone calling your name or a distinct sound of your door opening.
now, I'm not sure if animals has this as well but i would assume no because of their prey and predator instinct. they cannot afford to have illusions of sounds because that is where they hear where their predator/prey is.
so lets assume only humans have this. We hear people call our names when they really didn't is like a body reaction when your parents call you and then waits for you to come down only speak.
ngl i hate it very much
so how would aliens react to this?
just a random day where the group of maaktraks got a new human crew member! they were very excited and made loads of preparations for the human!
the human officially joined the crew about a few days ago, but something is off about this human. We have made sure that they have no mentality problems we have to take note of, but it seems like the human will randomly scream a word that apparently according to the human guide book a sign of aggression especially with the tone he uses.
now we don't understand said problem, so we reach out to the captain to address this worrying condition.
"oh? the human seems fine to me, pretty hard working too."
"yes, captain. but it just sometimes the human will make noise of anger ad frustration after yelling the word "what" and its getting very worrying. do you think we need to ask the humans what's wrong?"
"the guide book does say that if we were to speak to the human and address problems is better than being on the sidelines, so i guess i will leave this matter to you."
"yes captain"
during lunch time, the crew voted that i, xinederlk will be the one asking. what a great day.
im terrified, it had only been a few days since the human arrived, we do not know if this human is calm or the aggression type. looking at the frustrated yells, i would assume the aggression type, but the human guidebook said that each and every human is unique and that we do not judge the human by its first appearance.
i approached the human
"hello human Adam?"
"? oh hello there team leader! what brings you here to the human cafeteria?"
"well, me and me crew has something to ask actually."
"oh? is it about the rear engine? don't worry about it, staklorn has fixed it a while ago."
"no no none of that dear human Adam"
"then what's the issue?"
Human Adam seems to be in a much more serious tone now, maybe that proves his professionality in task taking fields. humans are known to multitask after all.
" well, Human Adam sometimes yell the word "what" even when nothing is going on. and the crew and i are worried that there may be something upsetting you or making you say those words with frustration?"
"eh? frustration? you guys can know my feelings upon hearing my tone of voice?"
"that seems to be in our ability"
"man... well to say eh problem isn't actually any of the crew or ships fault."
"then what is causing this frustration?"
"its just that..i grew up in a strict home alright? My parents would call me and then never answer me until i am in front of them. that gets me very frustrated because something that could've been communicated through voice easily now needs to walk down stairs and look my parents in the face before telling me to clean my room."
"..."
"so now that I've grown up, my body is toggled to hear said sounds with no response because of the habit of my parents putting it on me since young. so I'm very sorry for the inconvenience"
"..."
"..."
"too much?"
that day xinederlk learned a lot about strict parenting
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jaubaius a month ago
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This is so funny
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highabovethecloudssomewhere a month ago
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A couple years ago, I was staying with a friend for New Year鈥檚 and we鈥檇 decided to drive down to this adorable strip of locally-owned small business shops and check them out. The bakery was particularly crowded and since I wasn鈥檛 planning to buy anything, I waited outside. It鈥檇 been snowing, and since moving I鈥檇 picked up a 鈥淐alifornian-experiences-true-midwest-winter-for-the-first-time鈥 habit of making at least one (1) tiny snowman every opportunity I get
so I built a little snowman on one of the small tables on this strip.聽
after about three minutes of cramming ice together, I hear,聽鈥淒o you want espresso beans for the eyes?鈥 and I turn around and there鈥檚 this gal leaning precariously far out the window of her coffee shop, surrounded by her coworkers, holding out her hand and said espresso beans.
I think of those strangers often. just the thought of them all looking out the window to see this random stranger on the corner in the snow building a tiny snowman and deciding to join in, make it special for no other reason than that they wanted to. people are so, so precious and I鈥檓 never going to forget that moment.
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lexosaurus 8 months ago
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So when I moved into my shitty NYC apartment the first thing we noticed was that our maintenance office didn鈥檛 give us correctly cut keys which is obviously an issue although when we tried to contact them several times about it they denied that they鈥檇 given us faulty keys and insisted that we were just idiots who didn鈥檛 know how to open a lock so we shrugged and went about our day, jamming these shitty keys into a barely functional lock and performing various hacky methods several times a day that slowly wore away at the actual lock mechanism until one day a month later the lock submitted to its fate and refused to open for us which was obviously an issue and seeing as it was nearly midnight and the maintenance office was closed, our only options were to call a 24hr locksmith and pay the fees or break into our apartment and seeing as we鈥檙e all broke grad students, we went with the latter and so we went around back of the building to the fire escape only to see that it was only accessible through the first floor apartment鈥檚 鈥測ard鈥 which was surrounded by a wall so we voted our roommate鈥檚 bf to scale the wall and climb the fire escape now unfortunately we are idiots and forgot that yes this is NYC and maybe electing the male in a hat and baggy clothing at midnight was not the best option so our neighbors come outside with a gun and we pop out immediately like arms raised saying we鈥檙e so sorry we鈥檙e just trying to get to the fire escape because the landlord didn鈥檛 give us a functional lock/key set and they鈥檙e like why didn鈥檛 u just knock we could have killed u anyway here come inside meanwhile now the entire building has heard the commotion so another neighbor opens his window and hands us a bunch of tools through his fire escape for breaking into apartments idk why he has those but I didn鈥檛 care and so with the help of half of our building, we managed to break into my room and then immediately filed a maintenance request and idk if other neighbors pulled some strings but for the first time there was no push back from maintenance office/landlord and at 8am on the dot a guy showed up, replaced the lock, and handed us new keys and that鈥檚 the story of how I befriended all my neighbors in my new NYC apartment
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whatsupbeanie 2 months ago
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One day I decided to run away and live in our garden to avoid human responsibilities. The ants got into my packed lunch and then it rained so I came back home pretty quick hahaha.聽 聽
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dingodoodles 3 months ago
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NEW VIDEO Ever mess up so bad in dnd it's all people talk about at the table...for years WELL here comes some stories for y'all ALSO this video is guest animated by _ink Go check out his stuff :3 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Ink5e 聽Twitter: https://twitter.com/underscore_ink
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balkanradfem 4 months ago
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Scary story about a river incident
This is going to be a scary and upsetting story, and talk about a male predator, so be warned if you鈥檙e not feeling up to these topics!
So the year is 2016, and I鈥檝e just recently moved into the city, and discovered that if you walk very far into the fields outside, you will eventually reach a meeting place of two rivers, and witness gorgeous waterfalls. It took 40 minutes to walk there, so not a lot of people knew about this place or went there. Most of the times I would go, it was a private little field trip, and the water just before the waterfalls was incredibly deep and perfect for swimming.
I was there in the water one day in the late summer. It was getting late, but the sun was still reaching the last rays of light into the water, and I have found a neat little place on the other side of the river with sand, rocks and shells. I was having the time of my life diving under, finding pretty shells and rocks and stashing them for my treasured collection.
At some point, another person arrived to the river, from the same side as I did, but different access point. I wasn鈥檛 bothered by it, my things were hidden well, sometimes young people would come and play in the river, they usually never bothered me, so I disregarded this and kept playing with my shells.
I hadn鈥檛 realized it was a male person, and I haven鈥檛 realized that he took into the water and started swimming directly towards me, until he was already only a few feet away. He was old, but he was strong. He looked 60-ish, but his body was double my size. He was swimming fast. I was at that point, 26, but I looked younger. I had struggled to eat enough and I was underweight. I had nothing on this guy.
Before I could gather myself, he was reaching his arms around me; I was in a neat little corner with rocks behind me, and he was reaching one arm on the rock, and other around me, his goal was to trap me between the rocks and his body. I didn鈥檛 have more than a second to realize what鈥檚 going on, and guided by instinct, I dove underwater before he was able to trap me, and swam to the direction of my access point, at the other side of the river.
At that point I was practicing swimming, and I was fast, but he could probably outswim me. He hadn鈥檛 tried though. I think he was in a bit of a shock that I ran away so immediately, and he couldn鈥檛 see where I went because I kept underwater for as long as I could. When i was already halfway to the shore,my head visible, he yelled after me: 鈥淚 WAS JUST TRYING TO ASK HOW THIS WATERFALL LOOKED BEFORE THE WAR!!!鈥
I was absolutely outraged he would, after sending me running with intense predatory behaviour, still try to play it off as 鈥榶ou鈥檙e rude for assuming, I was attempting to engage in polite conversation here鈥, so I screamed back: 鈥淚. WASN鈥橳. ALIVE BACK THEN!鈥
That should make it clear I鈥檓 not falling for his blatant gaslighting and point out how insanely inappropriate he is, I thought. But the truth was, I was traumatized to the point where I didn鈥檛 feel safe ignoring someone yelling at me. I swam to my stuff, and at that point, he was still at the same place he attacked me, so I thought, okay, he knows now I don鈥檛 want him anywhere close and that he鈥檚 being inappropriate, he鈥檚 on the other side of the river, he can鈥檛 approach me fast, I should be safe. So I sat down. I was wrong. He saw me sit, and started swimming towards me.
I was, once again, appalled. But also scared. I grabbed my stuff and without pausing to dress, started running away. He again yelled after me in another attempt聽鈥楳AYBE YOUR PARENTS KNOW鈥 and I shouted back running聽鈥楾HEN ASK THEM!!!鈥 as if it was not absolutely insane that I was being talked down to while running away from a predator.
聽It was then I realized how unsafe it was to be 40 minutes away from civilization, while alone with a predator, next to a river. I needed to get back to the city fast, where this guy wouldn鈥檛 be able to openly chase me without anyone seeing it. I ran thru a grassy field, feeling uncomfortable, but sure that this would completely save me, because he was still swimming, and I was sure I could run very fast, and there鈥檚 no way he would still try to go after me after I escaped him twice.
Then, the unthinkable happened. He got into his car and chased me with a vehicle.
I didn鈥檛 even notice he had a car on his access point. I had only realized it when the car lights appeared on the trail behind me. It was twilight, and the night was falling fast. I was uncomfortably visible on the grass field, and I ran as fast as I could, because, I knew after this field, there was a turn, and I鈥檇 be invisible for a bit, and the turn led around a corn field, and corn field was a place I could hide in.
I ran into the corn field absolutely terrified, made sure I was out of sight and hidden, crouched down so I would be completely invisible, and then stayed still. Waiting. His car lit the road, and I could see him going, he passed me, and he reached the middle of the field, and then, he stopped. He must have realized that he should have already ran into me, and since he didn鈥檛, he knew I was behind him. I didn鈥檛 see if he got out of the car. I didn鈥檛 move. I knew if I made a sound, if he saw some corn move, I鈥檇 be located instantly. I crouched and waited.
I couldn鈥檛 tell you for how long that car was standing there. Probably 5-10 minutes. You can imagine it felt longer to a woman hiding in a corn field. But, I wasn鈥檛 found. And eventually, the car started moving again. It went away. I didn鈥檛 move. I stayed where I was, for I don鈥檛 remember how long. I needed to be sure. Once I peeked out to the road, I looked for any sign of light. It wasn鈥檛 there. I tentatively walked to the edge of the field, where I could see more of the road. Nothing. It was all empty. There was nobody there anymore. I was safe.
You鈥檇 imagine I went home that night feeling shaken, scared, anxious and upset, but you鈥檇 be wrong. I was beside myself with joy. This was my first time, ever, that I was chased by a violent man attempting to harm me, and got away! I was at that point, victimized by 20+ years of violence behind closed doors, and I would never, never manage to get away from it, regardless of running, because the predator was a family member, and convinced me that he had a claim on abusing me, but this? It was a predator in nature, and the nature was my turf, I knew how to get around there, and my instincts had served me so well, and I listened to them properly, and just because I was so quick to get away, the predator was stumped enough to not be able to catch me! I was then, sure that alone in the wild, I was untouchable, invincible, safe from any harm. Ah, to be young and fearless.
In retrospect, I鈥檓 now getting cold chills realizing how close I was form being a corpse in the river. The corn field was the only thing that saved me. if it had been any other time of the year, and the corn wasn鈥檛 as tall and as perfect of a hiding place, I鈥檇 have been painfully visible on those fields. I would have had to attempt to hide in the grass.
Of course, 26yo me came back to the waterfalls a week later, convinced it was a 鈥榦ne-time-predator-thing鈥 and luckily I never again ran into that guy, I did have another close call with another dude, but it was less scary, with less running involved. I still do visit the waterfalls but less often, as I found swimming places that are closer by. This was, by far, my most dangerous encounter with a predator, tho I had about 5 more happen thru my life, and successfully got away from them all. The danger of violence towards women in public is generally much more rare because m*n usually go for women they feel they have the claim to, and who can鈥檛 get away, like daughters, wives, cousins, sisters, mothers. That kind of abuse is almost certain to get them no consequences. If they go after a woman they don鈥檛 know, it is possible a male family member would come after them, for attacking what they believe is theirs, so it鈥檚 a bit more of a risky bet. Except, of course, if you鈥檙e 40 minutes away from a living soul and next to a river, then the rules change a bit.
My perspective was that because this was a stranger, I was free to run, where as in my family, running was sure to be punished with worse violence, and I was conditioned not to even attempt it. So even just running away, scary as it was, felt freeing for me. I didn鈥檛 have any pride left so jumping into 鈥榩rey animal鈥 mode to protect myself from abuse was just, a situation that would come up sometimes. I didn鈥檛 yet think of it as a proof that I鈥檓 not living in a humane society, and that obviously I wasn鈥檛 equal to half of it, for they would always be a predatory threat to me.
It strikes me still how much this predator aimed at my socialization to stop me from running, trying to talk me out of my instincts, implying I was rude for assuming anything, trying to shame me for running, while he also blatantly chased me with his car. I hope this can serve as a sign to never try to be polite or allow innocent assumptions for a male whose actions make you uncomfortable or threatened. I鈥檇 have been better not to reply, as it only gave him incentive to try to talk more, but alas, one cannot be perfect.
If you鈥檙e all worried about me, just remember I will be okay with my nature adventures and everything else risky I do, once I live in separatist space, away and protected, wielding the nature barriers between me and the males, safe from all predatory harm.
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