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orangechickenpillow · 1 month

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Hello, fellow enjoyer of BG3/Prospect/Arcane/The Ghoul Boys/TAD/WWDITS/probably other things I've yet to discover because you clearly have stellar taste in media! ✨

I wanted to throw an idea at you that has been rotting my brain: TAD songs for BG3 characters.

"Inkpot Gods" simply IS Wyll and Karlach. "The Old Witch Sleep and The Good Man Grace" might seem the obvious choice for Astarion but I would like to make an argument that "Farewell Wanderlust" is even better. "The Horror and The Wild" is Karlach's all on her own. "Elsa's Song" is giving Gale for some reason? Unsure why.

Anyway, sorry for the random long-ish ask. But what do you think? :D

Ahhhh thank you so much. I've seen you in my notifs and am happy to report that we're officially best friends now <3

Thank you so much for throwing this idea at me holy shit???? I went back and listened to all three TAD albums specifically to answer this, so.... yeah, we're definitely best friends.

I'm loving what you've got so far -- Inkpot Gods works so perfectly for the Avernus duo, and honestly could be the theme song for bg3 in general. Jesus christ, what a song, am I right. Farewell wanderlust is sooooo Astarion I'm going to lose my mind about it I mean be totally normal. Also I feel like it fits Lae'zel really well too. I actually found that a lot of songs I liked for Astarion worked for Lae just as well. Interesting. Anyway, during my trillionth re-listen to the TAD albums here are the notes I took on my phone lmao:

Love Run for Wyll. The wholesome, strong, hopefulness this song radiates fits him so well. It's also really fucking romantic, and so is he.

I also think that Two Minutes is fitting for him. That whole vibe of an abandoned child, of someone who is so tired and beaten down by life but still manages to keep going despite it all. I really adore Wyll, and the more romantic TAD songs fit him perfectly.

I love Wild Blue Yonder for Karlach. It's silly but heartfelt, and so full of yearning. It has a light approach to life while still acknowledging how hard things can be, and that's just so Karlach. Also, "We don't know what's out there -- could be ghosts or monsters, or a robot vampire, I don't know" sounds like something she would say lol

You're so right about The Horror and the Wild. That's just. Karlach and Gortash. "Give me back my heart you wingless thing" are you fucking kidding me right now, I'm going to pull a Karlach and explode.

Also I think The Horror and the Wild fits Astarion equally well. I'll always yammer on about how Astarion and Karlach are two sides of the same coin, and this song is a great representation of that. "You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child -- witness me, old man, I am the wild" -- Astarion and Cazador. Please send help, I am ill over this and will not be recovering.

"Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring" Karlach. Astarion. Shadowheart. Lae'zel. Literally help me.

Blossoms for Gale. It's a very intense song, but it's also weary. It's strong but desperate, yet determined. I also think it fits him as the one who would be leading the group if Tav wasn't around. It's a somber and dramatic song, but it's ultimately fueled by tender love. Sound like anyone else we know?

Similarly to you pairing him with Elsa's Song (which I love btw), I think The Rockrose and the Thistle is VERY Gale (and, dare I say, bloodweave? The singer begging to die and the other person "sewing" them back together??? Hello?????) Just like the more romantic songs fit Wyll, the quieter, more subdued songs fit Gale. I think those songs really capture desperation in its most potent form, and Gale is kind of like the human version of that (sorry Gale)

Okay, New York Torch Song could be any of the ladies. Literally any of them. It's perfect. This one also makes me think of Karlach and Wyll.

I adore That Unwanted Animal for Astarion. The helplessness paired with the subtle sense of revenge and violence. The sexual tones throughout. The lack of romance.

I like The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace for Astarion, and I also really like it for Lae'zel. Her whole being raised by a cult thing really aligns with the vibe of the song -- being told that you're one thing and having to fight to be anything else, the desperation of feeling like you have no purpose. Fighting it all and coming out on top anyway. The steady increase in the intensity of the song representing getting your power back. It's so herrrrrr

King fits her well too. This song is so badass. I think it represents the soldier archetype well. It's cool, she's cool, it's perfect.

Pray makes me think of Shadowheart. Obviously the religious tone of the song fits her well, but also its pure spite. It's really giving "abandoned daughter" vibes, which is perfect for her. Also, "honey I'm no man, I'm what's left when children go to war" are you fucking kidding me.

Anywayyyyy, this was long, yikes. I have a lot of Thoughts as you can see. Thank you SO much for letting me yap about two of the things I love very much and might be obsessed with, who knows. I'll end by officially asking for your hand in marriage <3

#just kidding #unless....#anyway ily thank you for this ask and if you ever want to chat some more feel free to send another one or even message me <3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 companions #baldurs queue #tad #the amazing devil #ask box #ask response #bg3 meta

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polyamorouspunk · 2 months

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So I (24, nonbinary) have been casually seeing this guy (38) that I've know for quite some time; I lost my virginity to him and it was fun and easy and honestly things had been great.

And then I was a little bit too high and confessed that I love him and he was super sweet in the moment and just held me and told me he's not comfortable saying the same because he's not sure

That was a couple weeks ago, the last time I spent the weekend. A few days ago I asked if he wanted to hang out again soon, but he didn't respond until today. He had a lot going on and also had to put his thoughts in coherent order, which I can respect. But reading his texts this morning has fucked up my whole day.

He's been really gentle in trying to let me down easy, I know he's still fucked up over his last relationship, and he's got two kids (both under 16) to think about; not to mention that I know he's worried about the age gap (he mentioned that I have so many possibilities ahead of me and I wanted to throw my phone).

I've got issues so I'm taking it really hard. Like this is definitely something I expected and yet I'm still super hurt. I don't really have anyone I'm comfortable talking about this with, and I'm sorry for dumping it all on you but I saw your little sleepover post and I could honestly use a hug and some positive vibes right now.

Okay okay okay so I know you know this is a LOT to unpack.

Mkay so I am 24 also (hi) some form of not cis (hi) and do have a crush on someone a fair bit older than me (33, not 38 though).

I love the idea of being with older men. The last guy I was seeing was 2 years older than me so like 26 now. Loved it. Love when older guys are interested in me. He was also going through a divorce and his son had just been born. It was a lot. I liveblogged the whole thing on here.

Dating older men comes with issues like that. And I have bpd so as soon as I FP someone yeah I’m instantly in love with them.

Dating older men can be hard when they say things about your future and shit like that- and I GET it, like it IS good advice even if you don’t want to hear it. I mean, when WE were under 16 how many people gave US good advice we didn’t want to hear at the time.

It sucks when you fuck up a good thing you had by confessing that you’re in love with someone who is not mutually in love with you. It reeeeally fucking sucks. Because either you hold that inside of you and you push it down and push it down and push it down, or you finally release it, let it go, and it fucks everything up.

There is no reason for you not to be hurt/upset about it even if you did expect it. Grieve. Let yourself grieve. Come into my inbox and dump all of this on me. Let people around you help you heal. Let me send you some love. I am holding your hand. I am telling you to some degree I have been there. To some degree I am there. And I know it gets better. Some day you’ll be like me, and you’ll be driving to work, and you’ll put on a new Fall Out Boy album that just came out, and you’ll cry, and you’ll realize through all the bad things, through all the shit and the hurt, this is why you stayed alive. You lived to be 23 so that you can hear Fall Out Boy put out new music.

And then you’ll be 24 and you’ll meet someone and they’ll change your world. And you think about how amazing it is that someone like this touched your life in some way, and that you can touch yours back. And you’ll meet up with old friends and make new ones.

And we’re so young, we’re SO young. It’s fucking wild to imagine this year (or next year) we’ll be half way to 50. That’s batshit insane. But like oh my god. The healing process that I’m going through is beautiful. Sure, there is a lot of stress. I’m failing the last class I need to graduate. My job stress is through the roof. I’m chronically ill. But outside of that I truly am continuing to live my best life every day.

I don’t know if you plan to try and keep on seeing him casually or if this really is the end for you. Either way this is just a bump in the road. 38 is so young too. We’re going to be okay. It’s a bad day. It’s gonna be a bad week. It might even be a bad month. Hell it might even be a bad year. But goddamn it if they don’t mean it when they say it’s not a bad life. It’s supposed to be almost 70 later today. I’m going to go work outside in the sun. My heartbreaks can’t stop me from creating art that I love. I saw a butterfly yesterday. Life is beautiful. Love is beautiful. Emotions are messy. They are disgusting. I hate them. But they’re poetic too.

Hell maybe this is all some Kumbaya bullshit I’m spouting. Idk. But I believe it. I really do. It takes work to believe in this shit. But it feels so much better when you do. Probably why cults work so well. Anyway!

It’s amazing that you got a chance to be with someone who is 38! I hope you look back on it fondly in a few years. And if you don’t then you’ll look back on yourself with kind eyes and think that at least in that moment you were happy and felt like it was what was best for you.

#punk gets mail #long post #dreamer anon

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sexisdisgusting · 3 months

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ALSO SORRY FOR SO MANY ASKS DJHDFJHDJHD

but do you or any other radblr lesbian girlies have advice for dealing with a "conventionally attractive" body aka an oversexualized body? big ass, big tits, small waist. I hate how i was groomed into believing that coping with sex was okay. i hate how i tried "being more feminine". like i can never get that money back and i can never take back the times ive let those men use me. it sucks. what sucks even more was that ofc it was other women, the handmaidens, who were the main ones to perpetuate that agenda. Because if men were like "yeah its okay to wanna be raped again <3 and getting with men to play out past trauma" then everyone would know their intentions. but no, it was seeing all the women be like "omg this helped me a lot <333 !! and im so much more happy now!!". showing off their age regression stuff. god i hate it. Without those women, there wouldnt have been anything to begin with. I wish more women saw through that BS.

also, to cope with gender dysphoria (like actual gender dysphoria) all ive been doing is just objectifying myself. since my body is very "feminine". its the fucking Porn Artist stereotype. I hate it. I feel like a walking object. I feel like its why I wanted to be a boy, like i wish I had no tits and no ass. because then i wouldnt be sexualized. Buying clothes to "hide" my body doesnt help because then i feel bulky/stuffy and overwhelmed. I hate how i use my body for social validation since because my face is deformed, its all I basically have.

lol im kinda glad though that I struggle with this in a way.... because it made me detrans. Especially seeing as i didnt even feel accepted as trans since I was a transmed. And then seeing these "omg trans healthcare saves lives, tho!!" people go about supporting literal AGPs truly peaked me. When my one ex friend group all trooned out at once, all the men being AGP anime / porn obsessed freaks who previously made fun of my trauma and victim mentality (despite me literally being marginalized) .... now theyre all pretending to be oppressed despite being white men from upper middle class families. Like damn, I AM NOT being in that community then. If that gets accepted? Yet me and my gender dysphoria diagnosis at a young age wasnt? Then nah. Its all nonsense.

i wish lesbian spaces werent taken over bc all this shit be isolating. Like im so sick of sex and porn and all that, i want LOVE goddamnit. Love and friendship. I am so burnt out, dude.

HIIIII MY LOVE, thank you so much for your ask

ugh i can feel first hand how tired you are with this shit in your wording, and i can relate, its really fucking draining

reading about your journey was really interesting, thank you for sharing it with me, im so happy you feel im a safe space for you because thats what i aspire to be <3

ALSO u dont have to apologize for sending a lot of asks, i love it

i feel for you, mootina

its hard to truly love your body and accept it as yours especially when you see pornsick idiots fetishize it

i read recently about the concept of body neutrality, and its where instead of praising, or hating your body, you simply thank it for doing all it does for you, i think perhaps looking into that will help you feel more in tune with yourself, and your body

also, of course this goes without saying, but feminist literature can help you, and also researching the female anatomy

in my struggles with my body, learning more about the capabilities of it helped me a lot with how i felt regarding it, and made it easier to tune out the fuckery of whatever anyone else has to say about it

i love you so much, ill leave the floor open for anyone else who has advice for you

thank you again for entrusting me with this <3

#asks #group questions

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sparklecriticism · 8 months

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FAQ

Please read the FULL THING before sending an ask. It’s not that long I promise you. Or maybe it is I keep editing it

What’s your name?

That’s top secret, just call me Mod Polly

Pronouns?

He/him, I have others but I’m not giving myself away THAT easy

Do you hate Sparklecare?

Absolutely not, if I hated it i wouldn’t have made this blog. I just think the fandom is god-awful and that the comic has so much wasted potential. I still regularly keep up with the comic’s updates, follow the blog (alongside the blogs for Kittycorn’s other various projects), and enjoy making fanstuff for it. I am heavily critical of all my interests, especially indie projects since I KNOW those ones don’t have to go through censors and shit.

If you don’t hate it, then what’s this blog for???

This is for me complaining about the fandom, and criticizing the comic. This is essentially a diary of bitching.

I don’t like this blog

Block me, this is my personal diary of bitching. I remember I was in your shoes once, and didn’t like to see criticisms of Sparklecare, so I 100% get it.

Were you sparklecrit?

No. Leave them out of this. They clearly feel remorse for their past actions. Now me on the other hand, I feel bad about none of this XD

Are you gonna post the preboot link?

Absolutely not. I’m not going to disrespect Kittycorn’s wishes. Like I said this is only my personal diary of bitching, nothing more.

Is your main [tumblr user]?

Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Thoughts on mspec lesbians/gays/contradictory labels in general?

Cool as shit. Do what you want, conservatives want us dead. Polly is a bi lesbian also, she told me this herself.

Thoughts on the preboot?

It’s way funnier and way less “clean”, I’ll give it that. However, the reboot does a better attempt when it comes to characters, keyword attempt. I still miss Knot though.

Favorite character?

If I said my actual fave, I’d be given away. However, I love the side patients/side characters in general.

Least favorite character?

Uni. She’s treated by the fandom like she can do no wrong, and it feels like people only draw her. Because of this it sorta ruined her for me as a character. Sorry Uni.

Favorite ship?

Honest to god I see good chemistry/potential in all of them. I’ve never really been interested in Sparklecare shipping on its own but I enjoy doing it to analyze the characters and whatever the fuck

Least favorite ship?

Barruni. It’s the only one I see 0 chemistry or interest in, sorry. No hate to anyone who does ship it though!!

What about Cuddles?

Cuddles doesn’t feel like a character to me. He’s not interesting enough for me to hate that much. I don’t like him either, by any stretch of the imagination. I just forget he exists.

What do the tags mean?

“Fandom bitching” is for bitching about the fandom, “reboot bitching” is for bitching about the reboot, “comet bitching” is for any bitching regarding the Cometcare AU askblog, which will probably be few and far between let’s be real here, and “preboot bitching” is for bitching about the preboot because I WILL criticize the preboot as well. All criticisms/bitching will be tagged “sparklecriticism”. “Not bitching” is for general posts, and “Polly speaks” is for general posts from Polly. “Sparkleposting” is about my general, standard Sparklecare posts, usually regarding the version of it that exists in my brain. The "asks" tag is self-explanatory, and "your bitching" is bitching sent in by VIEWERS LIKE YOU!!!!!!

Are you trans/queer/nd/mentally Ill/disabled?

I’ve been a fan of this comic since late 2021, what the fuck do you think. Yes to all 5.

Will you be tagging character neg?

No. This is sparklecriticism what did you expect. I will however tag ship neg as “[ship] neg”, though you’ll probably only see that for Barruni.

Are you a troll?

No.

Why are you doing this???

I believe anything worth a damn is worthy of criticism. I also want to see if anyone else agrees with me here. Sparklecare is a spinterest of mine, I care about it a lot. It’s why I’m so harsh on it.

Sparklecare’s a spinterest for you?????

Yes, in fact the day I developed it as a major spinterest is the day I started being more harsh on it.

Why don’t you read better comics then?

I do, actually! If you wanna hear the comics I like send me an ask-off anon and I’ll tell you privately :3 webcomics in general are a spinterest of mine actually! It’s why I’m so harsh on them, because I KNOW they can be so much more!!

If you hate bitch on this comic so much, why don’t you make your own comic??

I already did, actually! I’m not sharing it to keep my privacy, but I do in fact have a webcomic! If you wanna see it, send me an ask off-anon and I might send you it in private

How would you feel if someone made a criticism blog based off YOUR comic???

I’d feel honored, honest to god. I would encourage it if you guys knew who/what the fuck I/the comic was

#fandom bitching #reboot bitching #preboot bitching #comet bitching #sparklecriticism #sparkleposting #Polly speaks #not bitching #asks #your bitching

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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since i was nicely asked to do so...

here are more of colby’s tweets from 2019.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

July 4 - sometimes i take the stairs cause i don’t wanna see people in the elevator

July 6 - i jus wanna drink mikes hard with my bros

July 7 - *random girl comes up to us* “OMG I THINK I KNOW YOU GUYS, WHO ARE YOU!?” us: “Jack and Jack” “HAHAH I WISH” *runs away*

July 9 - i still have a fat crush on gwen stefani

July 10 - it only takes one thing to make me not interested anymore

July 11 - everything will come full circle sooner or later. law of attraction

i’m in every hot topic , send me a pic if you see me

July 13 - i’m a mess

July 18 - it’s hard to let people in

July 20 - kidney stones scare me like i don’t wanna piss out a rock

(the difference two days can make huh? sksks i hate him SO MUCH)

July 23 - i just had a terrible nightmare

July 25 - it’s never been the same after

July 26 - WHO CARES ABOUT PEOPLE WE HAVE DOGS

Aug. 3 - i could sleep forever if i wanted to

Aug. 8 - everyone talks shit in LA

@/mikes_dead: lmao who we fightin b

@/colbybrock: everyone

my anxiety has been through the roof this past few days .. but we’ll be fine i’m so excited !

Aug. 9 - do what you want just don’t lie to me .. i see right through it

self care, i’m treatin meeeeeee right

Aug. 11 - sam and colby vs. the world. we love you guys, never forget. #ChoiceYoutuber let’s go baby

(wow this feels like forever ago at this point)

WE THOUGHT THEY WERE KIDDING hahahaha only we would do that

Aug. 12 - life feels so surreal lately

Aug. 14 - everyone needs a day where you can just curl up in a ball and do NOTHING.

Aug. 17 - i used to to have 3 guinea pigs named Patch, Reno, and Taho they all died horrible deaths

(this man has brought this up multiple times over the years and has never explained what happened. WE NEED ANSWERS COLBERT)

i miss the middle school Warped Tour days

Aug. 19 - pretty sure my neighbors think i’m a crackhead

Aug. 20 - i don’t like who i was then

Aug. 23 - @/mikes_dead: Everyone pray for my boy @/ColbyBrock nothings wrong with him he just ugly

you just mad cause i spanked you in beer pong

Aug. 27 - you can find me on my balcony listening to music most late nights

Aug. 28 - Sam and I have been working for the past few years on this project that’s literally the reason we started social media. it’s finally almost here .. revamped and better than ever.

if you’ve ever felt alone, help is on the way i promise

ill pour my heart n soul out

Aug. 29 - need to escape

Sept. 1 - i’ve been watching joey graceffa puppy videos every day ngl

Sept. 2 - nothing lasts forever make it count

no one will have me like you had me

Sept. 4 - i just got tickled on live TV how’s your day goin

Sept. 6 - calvin klein x colby brock ?

Sept. 10 - i always have a random song playing in the back of my head

Sept. 13 - being yourself no matter what anyone thinks is so important

my friends have been tellin me i’ve got a big head… not sure why (with a pic of him surrounded by himself lol)

Sept. 18 - ALL BLACK ALWAYS

Sept. 23 - i’ve grown up so much over the past few years. 2015 me is someone i’d like to leave behind forever

(he really doesn't like his past self. i'm not sure why…)

Sept. 25 - i’m constantly having a mental battle of whether i wanna go workout or eat a chalupa

#colby brock #personal #cb tweets #text

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unilightwrites · 2 years

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writeblrs intro - the show is starting

Hi there! I'm Helen, the mind behind Unilight Writes - a blog I wanted to get out to actually do something with my writing. I think I'll be treating this as a safe space to motivate me to get the things I imagine out of my head and onto paper. Or a screen I guess. Semantics. Now, the last time I used Tumblr was years back when I was very much an angsty teen - I feel kind of confused and out of place but I hope to find a curious community here! And maybe send bullshit asks my friends' way. But hush. ANYHOW, not to drone on any longer - I enjoy and plan to work on some things during my... uh... stay? Yeah, let's roll with stay.

I'd love to share ideas and concepts that rattle around my brain with you all! I'm always up for discussions and questions, maybe some practice in going Random Bullshit, Go!. I'm looking for inspiration, whether it be phrasing, art, other creative expression or simply reading through works of storytellers. Gods only know how exhaustive is creativity. Characters. Just, characters. Making them alive, making them lovable or deserving of hate, evoking emotion through the creation of their mind. WORLDBUILDING. Don't get me even started! drafting and coming up with scenarios and little details for the worlds inside our heads is simply one of the best things ever. The dreaded word - WIP. I intend to share or showcase bits and pieces of my work that are stuffed so deep inside my mental closets that it's even deeper than I was before coming out. Anyhow - ill be leaving it out for you lot, whether you want it or not. That's my hubris right there, the true purpose of Unilight Writes Some general things about me: - I've always wanted to write and bring forward the stories of my imagination - but I think that to be a common thing among us here. Why write if you have nothing to say, why write if you don't want to. I did some writing when I was younger but I gave it up to focus more on school work. Guess what! school is not in the picture for the time being so here I go, doing what I love once again! - I'm rekindling a lot of old flames here. I started reading for pleasure again (right now I'm going through Memoirs of Lady Isabella Trent, a great pick for anyone who enjoys dragons and women in science, but make it victorian!) and relearned how to entertain the imagination in my head. I'd die for a nice fantasy book but I'm not that big on sci-fi. Anything in fantasy -low, high, medium, medieval, modern, whatever. Unless we're talking SJM, I'm out the second there is harp music in my spicy scenes. - I'm pretty interested in random Wikipedia bullshit, researching nonsense topics, and drawing inspiration from folklore and cultures I have yet to fully experience. - Music-wise I'm bordering all subgenres of folk - indie, rock, alt. Anything is fair game, to be honest - I'm all for DnD. If you play it? Amazing. If you don't? Welcome to my table, young one, lets's go on an adventure. I love how expressive it is and the degree of creativity you can have around it. - I'm trying to learn cardistry. Honestly, I'm rather shit at it but I'm doing my best and it's absolutely exhilarating. Doing all those little card tricks and shuffles is a great way to actually let my mind wander and come back with solutions instead of panic. - I absolutely ADORE piercings and tattoos, they're the main part of my everyday aesthetic (plus, if you have a nice sketch of a duck in a burglar outfit that's stealing a pack of cigarettes, please please hit me up, I want that tattooed) - I use she/they pronouns and consider myself queer - putting a label has helped me a lot in the early parts of my self-actualization but now I'm just as confused as back then and I can't be bothered to do anything about it. Now, seeing as all three pre-play rings did their thing - lets have a seat and glance upon the absolute bastard of a child my brian came up with: "The Grand Circus" It's currently my one and only work in progress. It's very much still in the preliminary steps of development, but it's there! The novel will follow the life of Varadia - a person living in a world filled to the brim with magickal creatures taken from a fair share of different cultures and belief systems. Ever since being a wobbly child, she wanted to join the Grand Circus - a troupe of travelling artists that showcase all around the continent. And now after years of self-training, she will get the chance to audition. But as always, there are a lot of political intrigues and people being not quite who they seem to be. With a double layer to everything, she'll have to navigate a wide world she hasn't seen before, alone save for her newfound family - other performers

#my writing #writeblr #creative writing #writing community #writebrl #writeblr intro #my wips #introducing myself #writeblrs introduction #writing

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morosepresence · 1 year

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March 28, 2023 5:11 pm

This past year I've tried really hard to accept that I need to make things happen for myself. Sitting in my house and witnessing time ticking by can only be so healthy. However, I didn't realize how hard it would be to break years upon years of bad habits.

I've always known that time heals all wounds but right now it doesn't seem like it. It seems to me that when I feel bad about something, I never truly seem to forget or move on. It just lingers there for a minute, then goes away with time, and now it's back again. I try to find the foundation of the problem but I struggle everyday. To understand why I hate myself so much. Why I feel that everyone else is deserving of a beautiful life but not me. I'm finally asking "why me?" when I've always thought that only cowards did. I need to learn why because I'm sick and tired of feeling lost everyday.

Growing up, I didn't have much of an identity. I didn't have an interest that made me feel like me. I did find video games, but it was an excuse to not battle the demons outside. I don't know what I would of expected if I did find my niche, but I just feel like I've done nothing. And other people seem to believe that too. Don't get me wrong, I've lived a beautiful life. I'm loved by my family and friends, I've traveled the world, gotten the best education, and had the luxury to live my life the way I've wanted to. But it's somehow not enough. Everyday I have woken up feeling like I'm missing something, I'm just never satisfied. I've been slowly realizing why and I think I've found it? Not sure

I feel like nothing. Physically and mentally, nothing. It sounds redundant but it's true; I just feel like a dead end in everything. With everyone I know and everything I do, nothing. I feel like I've lived through other people my whole life. The funny part is, no one has told me explicitly what to do. I just have no idea what to do. I don't know what I want or who I want. I have doubts about every little thing I touch. One bad word towards me even when the intent is positive hurts more than anything. I care so much about what other people think to a pathological degree. I've always been seeking everyone's approval and acceptance that I don't think positively about myself, and I've realized that I've never been comfortable in my own skin. I've put on this front my entire life; that I'm confident and I'm always right and that I don't care what people think of me but I wear a mask because I'm able to romanticize the life I really want. How I actually want to feel.

I also hate my body and I feel so lonely within that mindset. I know other people have body image issues and low self esteem but I don't think anyone does like me. I'm addicted to food. I love eating because it's the only thing that I know will be good. Food is good. It's delicious and I eat too much of it. I was told today by a family member that they want to set me up with this boy in the summer and that it's going to be so exciting for me. But before that, I have to look amazing so let's sign up for workout classes!

Don't get me wrong, I want to loose weight and sign up for workout classes. But I can't look amazing without being skinny? Will I just never reach my maximum potential/beauty because of my weight?How do I date or meet people when I do get skinny? Would they have loved me when I weighed this much? Will people take me seriously when I don't weigh as much? How is this all supposed to make me feel? Inspired? Motivated?

Guess what? I don't. One little fucking comment is sending me over the edge. And you know what's funny? It wasn't even meant with ill intentions, just the delivery was off. I can't stand shit like that. Worry about your own body and not mine. You're projecting your insecurities onto me because you want to break the cycle with me and you don't want me to be like you, I get it. Trust me, I do. But why does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel like the ugliest person that walked onto this earth? Why has my confidence squashed overtime?

Because I don't know my worth. Or what I deserve. I was never taught to have confidence like this because truth be told, no one around me has it. That's what I think anyway. I don't expect perfection but I hate being a people pleaser when I can't even please myself. I hate loving when I don't love myself and I hate helping when I don't help myself. I'm so exhausted.

I want to work on myself so bad but I just can't do it. I just can't put everything into anything and I feel so stupid. So whoever is reading this, learn from me and accept that you are enough and that you are worth saving. Even though I know that deep down I still can do it. I will with time but I can't today. Also, I know I will be more confident when I weigh less and experiment with different styles and I do believe I will reach my maximum potential when I am physically the healthiest. But in order to start that journey I truly believe that you have to love yourself just enough to do what the old you couldn't. So don't make sensitive comments like that because even when the intent is good it can come out terribly. I will follow suit and make sure I don't do the same. Life is too short to risk being an asshole and ruining someones day.

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wormstar · 3 years

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ok gonna talk about windclan a bit

potentially the most important concept to me is the whole “windclan is the closest clan to starclan” thing thats mostly just author-said and barely textual. they do the whole sleep on the moor thing and the only actual dens that get built are the leaders med cats and the nursery....otherwise outcrops, dens, small caves and stable parts of tunnels are used as dens in cold weather alone. they sleep outside to dream of their ancestors and their communication is fairly legitimate

windclans particularly superstitious and they tend to point to a lot of things as being signs from starclan no matter how small...dreams are often a point of discussion between clanmates, cats are quick to call stuff like missed prey bad signs, leaders may look to starclan to decide what warriors should mentor what apprentices or what to do about trespassing patrols, whatever

to continue that lattermost thread another important distinction is that med cats (which im calling seers from henceforth) are revered to a near-equal amount as the leader, if not more so. i tend to characterise seers as much more dedicated to starclan than they are in canon (omens are much more common and seers are appointed specifically because they can read the signs starclan sends to all cats more effectively, dreams seers get that arent visions almost always include conversations with starclan cats, prophecies tend to come in parts and require physical exertion to discover, seers themselves tend to deem oneself as an extension of starclan, you get the idea) and basically all those points become even more particular in windclan due to their focus on their ancestors. and already their unique physical ties. beyond medicine and communication seers are often consulted for major decisions within the clan and often keep close to both their deputy and their leader. its not uncommon to pull in a windclan seer and have them find some sign about how to solve a fight or whatever. in short seers are regarded as chosen interpreters who have a large amount of authority due to having a much more unbridled direct line of communication with starclan

due to the importance placed on seers and how culturally significant the position is windclan seers will wait a long time before they pick their apprentices and will only do so with heavy consultation from their ancestors. in windclan its very rare for young kits to be seers first thing unless a significant omen pops up but more often than not warriors get pulled aside to become seers later in life (the position is negotiable ultimately and its up to the cat themself but seers are a sacred position and the majority of cats do find honor in the role) furthermore remedies and cures and the general nature of healing is kept secret between mentor and apprentice - most windclan warriors are intentionally unaware of basic herbs/usage due to the art ‘belonging’ to seers

last points i wanna make about starclan, windclan cats are remarkably uncaring toward the concept of death or at least become desensitised. theyre the clan that most often shares tongues with starclan at night and hence death is equivalent to a kind of retirement. they still hold vigils and all that but its more about ensuring the deads travel to starclan is safe. they hold the belief that as long as there are enough living warriors to pass on their traditions the clan is fine. its also deemed very worrying if a recently dead cat refuses to appear in anyones dreams which does occasionally happen and often leads to infighting. theres also a kind of huge folklore angle to them ill briefly describe as them preserving prophecies and other important signs in songs or poems. this extends to noble cats who were part of prophecies receiving epithets related to their prophecy (ex. tallstars called the wanderer crowfeathers called the sunchaser. cant remember other wc warriors with canon prophecies about them so i cant give any more tangible examples lol -_-) these names are expected to be used instead of their regular names but in private this may be excused. said names are also often made up by seers and elders

cant really get into this but i hc all the clans having different systems for warriors and having distinct categories of them as to make them more structurally different from one another. in windclan thats moor runners and tunnellers with maybe some other shit? but once tunnelling got discontinued post-heatherstar the focus drifted to distinct moor runners sorted by stamina and speed

cant think of any other differences ive made that are significant or arent just implied in canon so

#if anyone thinks this shits interesting send me an ask and ill go through my thoughts on a given wc subject #in particular would like to focus on clan differences. im fond of my interpretations of shadowclan and skyclan #long post #rambling #wc lore #sure. that works as the dedicated tag

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laedback-taurus · 2 years

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Words

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader Word Count: 2k A/n: Thank you so much for over 500 followers! I honestly can’t believe it, thank you again! This is roughly proofread as I’m incredibly tired and most likely missed some things,

When Tommy gets blamed for the death of a young man, it hits him hard and all he needs is the comfort of his wife and children.

Words never really effected Tommy Shelby, he’d had some interesting words spoken at and about him over the years, but he was never really phased by the names people would whisper behind his back. He never thought that they would have an effect on him at all, until they were spat in his face after a horrible week.

“What have you done?!” the shriek of a heartbroken mother rang through Tommy’s office.

“What have you done to my baby?” She whispered this time, her voice giving in to the despair in her heart.

Tommy knew it was his fault, he sent the boy, her son to his death. He didn’t mean to, but he should have known, he should have seen the danger.--Tommy hired a young man, about Finn’s age after he begged Tommy for work, he stated that he’d tried everywhere but no one would take him. Tommy initially declined but the boy persisted, He started rambling about how his father had died in the war and how his sister is gravely ill, and his mother need to look after her, so she couldn’t work, which left him. Tommy couldn’t help but feel a bit sympathetic for the boy so he offered him a small job as a runner, someone who could inconspicuously deliver important messages that Tommy couldn’t trust the mail with or that he just needed passed on quickly. The young man worked for Tommy for a few months before Tommy sent him off on another job, it was meant to be a quick and easy one, but Tommy was so very wrong. The news came back to him quickly that the young messenger had been intercepted and killed for the information Tommy was passing on. They strung the poor boy up as a warning, a warning for what, well Tommy didn’t know yet. Tommy had told his brothers to pass on the dreaded news to his family and that is how Tommy found himself feeling helpless as a devastated mother screamed at him for answers, answers she deserved.

“I should have been more carefu- “He started but was cut off.

“I told him not to work for you, told him we’d figure something else out, but he refused, said you’d take good care of us, what a load of shit that was” She continued to cry as she spoke, glaring at Tommy, he couldn’t meet her eyes.

“I’m sorr- “he was cut off again.

“Do you have children Mr Shelby?” She asked suddenly.

“I do” he said, finally meeting her eyes, catching the anger and sorrow filling them. He immediately thought of his children, safely at home with you. Home, somewhere that boy would never go again.

“Would you put them in position you put my boy in? Would you send them off to do your dirty work? Would you do to your wife what you’ve done to me? Take her baby away?” She asked, firmly holding eye contact with him, she was a mother full of fury and right now, she wasn’t scared of him. He couldn’t bare to think of losing his children let alone your reaction. Your children meant the world to you, you loved them more than you ever thought you could love something, this also made you extremely protective of them, you wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone that hurt them, including Tommy.

“No, I wouldn’t” He answered honestly.

“Then why did you do it to my boy? To my family? To me?” She asked, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Tommy couldn’t find an answer and she noticed this, only making her angrier.

“You can’t even pity me with an answer” She laughed, disgusted.

“You’re a monster” She spat before storming out of his office, slamming the door behind her.

Those were the words, the words that finally got to Tommy Shelby.

You had enjoyed a lovely day with your children, 6-year-old Charlie and 3-year-old Anna. The three of you had spent some time in the garden, you sat under a tree reading while Charlie and Anna ran around playing. Then you spent some time in the stables, Charlie loved Tommy’s horses and just had to go out and see them daily. Anna also liked them but mainly because she liked to play with their manes.

It was now late afternoon and the three of you had set up in the sitting room, the children were playing nicely together while you looked over the guest list for an upcoming event Tommy was planning. The house was lovely and quiet until the front door burst open, welcoming your husband.

“We’re in the sitting room Tommy” You called out, knowing he’d been looking for the three of you. Not long after, he appeared in the doorway, your children instantly lit up at the sight of him.

“You’re home early!” Charlie exclaimed as he ran over to his father, crashing into him and nearly knocking Tommy over.

“That I am” Tommy replied with a smile that you noticed, didn’t quite reach his eyes. Upon noticing this, you placed the guest list aside and watched him as he interacted with your children.

“Daddy!” It was now Anna’s turn to call out to her father.

“There’s my precious girl” He smiled as he approached her and scooped her up, making her giggle with delight.

“I missed you” she said before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, then patting his other cheek with her small hand, something she had always liked to do.

“I missed you too my darling, I just couldn’t stay away any longer” He exaggerated before placing her back down, the two children quickly went back to playing with Tommy’s attention turned to you.

“Hello love” he greeted, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, with your brow slightly frowned in worry. Of course you would know something was wrong, Tommy was silly to think he could hide this from you.

“It’s uh- “He cut himself off and you noticed his eyes glaze over just slightly. Without hesitation you called for Frances to watch the children before getting up and leading Tommy upstairs to your bedroom. You shut the door and Tommy sat on the edge of the bed, removing his jacket and tossing it aside.

“Talk to me love” You whispered when you reached him, running your fingers through his hair. His hands found their place on your hips, he began to run his fingertips over the seams of your dress.

“I got a boy killed” He admitted, he kept his gaze down, not wanting to look at you.

“What happened?” You asked, you desperately wanted him to look at you, but you wouldn’t pressure him.

“I fucked up is what happened, I wasn’t careful enough and I sent a boy to his death” You felt his hands begin to shake to your sides.

“That’s not your fault Tommy” You assured him, he didn’t know the boy would be hurt and you didn’t know the anger your words filled Tommy with.

“It is my fault!” He looked up at you now and the look on his face made you want to cry. He looked completely defeated.

“I sent him, I thought that he would be fine- fuck!” He pulled his hands off your hips, too disgusted with himself to feel worthy enough to touch you. You went to speak but he kept going.

“He had a sick sister” Your heart dropped “He wanted a job so they he could help her, help his family and I gave him one that took him from them, I took that girls brother away and his mother…” He trailed off, bring his hands to his face and burring it in them for moment before then dragging his hands down his face. He couldn’t get the look in that mothers eyes out of his head.

“I’m a monster” He slumped, his shoulders falling and his hands falling into his lap.

“Oh Tommy” Your heart broke at the sight of your husband, you pulled him into you and as soon as you did, he buried his face in your chest and reach up, his hands gripping the fabric of your dress at your hips.

“You thought you were doing the right thing by helping him, how were you to know it would lead to this? You couldn’t, he knew it was a dangerous job, he went to you himself, but he was desperate to help his family and you gave him the chance when no one else would and I’m sure he was grateful” You tried to flush out the words you knew would be running through that mind of his, you knew that he had been called much worse but today, this just got to him.

“His mother came into my office” He pulled his head from your chest and looked up at you “She asked if I’d do what I did to her child to my own? She asked if I would you put you through what she is going through and the thought alone broke me so how can I even comprehend what she’s feeling” You knew that the thought of your children getting hurt because of him was something Tommy couldn’t bear, he adored his children.

“She is heartbroken and devastated love, she needed to take it out on you, she needed that. Our children are well loved and safe, you don’t need to worry” you were trying to find the right words to say.

“They’re in danger just because they’re mine, because of me they will always be a target” He whispered.

“A monster shouldn’t be a father” You couldn’t bare it anymore, that comment and the pain in his voice broke you, tears spilled down your cheeks as you cupped his.

“Don’t say that” You whispered “Don’t you ever say that Thomas, your children think the world of you, they ask me all day when you’ll be home, they wait by the door every evening to greet you when you come home, just to see you before they go to bed, Charlie always talks about how he wants to ride horses just like his father and I know that because of your love, Anna will never settle for anything less than what her father has shown her. I am forever grateful to you for making me a mother and a mother of such beautiful children, and they are beautiful because they are ours, they are as much of you as they are of me. So please don’t ever say you shouldn’t be a father because those children out there wouldn��t change you for the world” You both waited in silence for a moment, tears were silently falling down your cheeks and you saw similar tears forming in Tommy’s eyes.

“I’m sorry Y/n” He didn’t know what he was apologising for in particular, maybe everything.

“It’s alright love” You held him for a moment before speaking again “Maybe you could offer to help out his family? I know money doesn’t fix everything but if you could help save her daughter, maybe that would help” You suggested softly, and he nodded slowly.

“I’ll arrange it tomorrow, see if I can pay for funeral arrangements as well” You could tell by the tone of his voice that he was think straight again, he was looking forward.

“that’s a good idea” you leant down and caught his lips in a sweet kiss.

It was in this moment that Tommy realised that the only words that will ever matter were yours, you would always drown out the whispers of others, the names and the blame. The only words he cared about where that of his wife, the mother of his children.

#tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby fluff #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders #thomas shelby #peaky blinders x reader #tommy shelby one shot #tommy shelby drabble #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby x you #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy

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daiseukiis · 3 years

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: ̗̀➛ 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐒

𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙤 ; 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤

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─꒱ in which we peak into how life is as the in-law of the fushiguro family after marrying megumi。

─꒱ feat. fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji & fushiguro tsumiki

─꒱ warnings ; profanity, chaotic hot shit

─꒱ notes ; OMG SHOULD I MAKE A SPECIAL WHERE YOU GUYS SEND IN ASKS ABOUT HOW THE NEIGHBOURS REACT TO THE FUSHIGUROS EYVBIJX HAHAHA

─꒱ episode one | 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐒 | episode three

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꒰꒰ you love your father-in-law, like you really do love toji, but that worm of his needs to be in a fucking cage.

a loud scream comes from the top of your lungs early in the morning, eyelashes blinking to shoo the drowsiness away after it's been awakened by the warm sun rays that lay atop your eyelids. as much as you love waking up in the morning in bed with your husband, you don't get that luxury sometimes.

"y/n?!" hearing the loud footsteps of your husband rushing towards with another scream from your sister-in-law, the both of them slam the door wide open. "what happened?!" toji is the last to appear to the scene, his expression more on the sight of confusion compared to the worried and panicked facials on megumi and tsumiki's face. "what the fuck?"

"get this fucking worm off me!"

꒰꒰ if that worm wasn't adopted by toji it would've been on fucking sight. that shit uglier then sukuna's stock of human girls for his bitch soup.

꒰꒰ after you told megumi what toji had told you when you were left alone with him ( the sex question ), you are no longer allowed to be alone at home with him. megumi made sure that the dogs are around.

꒰꒰ you found out the hard way that toji has some lameass dad jokes.

you and tsumiki decided to order sushi for dinner due to the fact the both of you were too lazy to cook, seeing how you and megumi came back tired from a mission and toji from one as well, you all felt bad having tsumiki cook all on her own so you bought food instead.

"i'd avoid sushi if i were you, it seems fishy." toji says just as you all prepared the table to eat. you and megumi freeze on the spot, the trio of you all turning your heads towards toji who sports a serious face. megumi groans, "don't ever do that again."

"i thought it was pretty good." tsumiki lets out a small giggle, you smiling that toji was now comfortable to even make jokes after everything. megumi turns to counter his sister's opnion, through you all swore you heard a stifled chuckle come from toji.

'he's laughing at his own jokes!'

꒰꒰ the effort is appreciated though.

꒰꒰ sometimes you and tsumiki buy too many stuff at the groceries, you call megumi to summon nue and get his shikigami to carry it for you two.

꒰꒰ toji offered ( jokingly ) to let you guys use his worm as a storage while you went shopping for groceries once, let's just say he got smacked in the face with a pan.

꒰꒰ it's his fault for joking while you were cooking.

꒰꒰ you were used to waking up three in the morning for anything and seeing your husband and father-in-law tying some burglar or assassin up, but no way were the rest of the family used to you doing the work.

"y/n?" megumi comes walking down the stairs with his father, turning on the lights in the dark hour to gain a shred of shine. the two males see in full picture that you had just finished punching someone in the face, the other hand holding them up by the collar as it physically shows that whoever this guy dressed in black had just failed in whatever mission he had in mind.

"who's that?" toji raises a brow, more so on the fact that he is impressed you beat up the intruder without a single sound in the dead of night. the look of displeasure shows you were in no mood, wanting nothing more than what you had walked downstairs for before this piece of shit decided to ruin your night. you throw the man in black on to the floor, scowling.

"all i wanted was a glass of fucking water, not an assassin who can't even use the front door."

꒰꒰ when you and tsumiki make food in the kitchen, expect a knife to go flying at least once.

꒰꒰ you don't know if you should be thankful to have tsumiki as your sister or not, she's unintentionally scary and she's not even trying.

꒰꒰ somehow you always end up walking into an argument between megumi and toji ( usually after leaving the kitchen to get a snack ) but you instantly walk out because the last time you didn't, shit was ugly.

"hey... can we all just calm down?" tsumiki is in between toji and megumi who are constantly throwing insults and such at each other, whatever argument they were having she tries to settle it down without anyone getting injured.

"i can't when this pathetic excuse of a father can't grow the fuck up!" megumi bellows, glaring at the older man who lets out a tsk and a frown. "watch what you're saying, i'll hand down an ass whoopin' on ya."

'this seems interesting.' you sip on your boba after walking out from the kitchen, the bowl of popcorn just beside you as you ate and speculated. it was normal for the father-son duo to have their fights, usually it was fun to watch because it ended up as good entertainment for you. so in result: you have no intention in stopping them.

"no, guys, seriously..." tsumiki pleads, her hands slightly apart to try and force space between them. though her efforts were thrown out the window when in complete sync did they yell right back at tsumiki. "just mind your own business!"

'they punched her!' the boba fell from your hands and the popcorn flew, much like how tsumiki started to fall back towards the couch. it took less than a millisecond for the two to realize what the did, and they knew they were fucked.

꒰꒰ sometimes you still have nightmares about it.

꒰꒰ there are times that toji would be coming home with a woman tailing behind him, and it's somehow always when megumi and tsumiki are out.

"tadamasu." toji greets as he walks in, talking his footwear off and leaving it in front of the door. you pop your head out from the living room into the hallway of the entrance as you greet him on his return, "hokairi."

"who's the bitch?" you notice a woman who had too much make up to show her curstyass in front of you, a click of your tongue echoes through the two meter distance between you and her as you cross your arms. "who's the slut?"

"youー!" her face twists in fury, heels about to click and clack each step to get to you but is instantly stopped by the sound of toji's deep voice. "get out." the girl looks baffled by his words, face contouring into a smile full on uneasiness. "but tojiー"

"i said get out." his voice is much more prominent and demanding, sending chills down her spine as she steps back in caution. you stand here watching as the woman still refused to leave your home, in seconds did toji grab hold of her wrist and threw her out of the house ( much to the woman's displeasure ). you grin from ear to ear, running out to see her limping her way back to her rented car right beside toji. you call her out, the glare she sends your way is priceless as you stand beside your father-in-law with all the glory in the world.

"by the way, i'm his amazing daughter-in-law! and we have decided that a clown lookin' ass like you doesn't deserve the right to fuck a fushiguro!" you wink.

"yeah, yeah. get back inside, y/n. megumi 'n tsumiki 'ill be back home, don't want them nagging that our y/n got into some cat fight again." you hear toji from inside the house, walking away from your figure. you pout your cheeks out, "it's not a cat fight, it's my bad bitch moves!"

"i'll lock you out."

"this is my house!"

꒰꒰ you stopped questioning megumi and toji's cooking skills because the last time you and tsumiki let them cook dinner, they didn't just burn the eggs they were making but also trashed half the kitchen.

꒰꒰ they made an oil fire that time, and no one knows how but toji was able to get the zenin clan to pay for repairs???

꒰꒰ and apparently for the past five months the zenin clan have been paying for repairs and they didn't even know toji was using their money, well until naobito found out and busted your front door on a weekend.

"toji!" you heard the current head of the zenin's clan voice boom through your house, you also watched the white front door fly through the hallway right before your eyes after you have just watered your little cactuses. in seconds you hear the lazy voice of your father-in-law, emerging from the kitchen with a confused tsumiki. "what do you want."

"how dare you use the zenin clan's money on your mistakes!" naobito starts striding towards toji in anger, your eyes glancing over at your now open door to see naoya waving to you. you lift your waterer up in acknowledgment of his existence before snapping at naobito.

"how about your mistake?" you watch naobito grip on to the collar of toji's shirt, the look of fury engraved on his old face as he glares your way. "what?" he says, dropping toji as he complains about

"you broke my fucking door, you wrinkly ass, dusty, decaying ancient artifact. we just installed that three days ago! the zenin clan better keep paying."

꒰꒰ that door never seems to get a break

꒰꒰ the real reason why you and megumi never moved out of the house is because when you two tried, tsumiki and toji invited themselves into your house and said they were living there.

꒰꒰ your father-in-law makes hundreds of millions of yen, you'd think he'd live on his own but instead he lives with his kids.

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arcadejohn127-9 · 3 years

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Could you do the Brothers and undatables reacting to MC being poisoned and finding out that Micheal was trying to kill them because he was jealous that MC was close with the brothers. Let me just say your work is great the way you describe the situation before going into the reactions is really interesting. Thank you so much!!!!

I already had this ask half way done but Tumblr decided to delete all my work due to buggy WiFi - I'm currently in pain 😭

I don't know much about poison so bare with me, I just looked at the basic symptoms and went "I'm smart" I've passed out after being ill or just in general quite a few times when younger so I had faith

This also has a bonus Michael part! I've decided to add his response to the boys reactions in its own format or else each one will just have a repeat of the same Michael Response

Warning: angst, implied vomitting, attempted murder, fainting, spoilers of lesson 37 and 16, gore on Michaels part, long

"from Michael...?" You questioned outloud, unsure on how to feel about the parcel you've found.

Your relationship with the angel wasn't a defined one. You didn't hate him but you didn't like him either; there was always something about his presence that made you fearful. You choked it up to be just internalised fear due to hearing the brothers experience of the celestial realm and angels.

You've never met him in person; the first conversation you had of him was when you stabbed yourself with the dagger instead of Lucifer. You saw the light and he spoke to you, surprised and shocked at the love you had for the demons. Even then you never really got to speak to him again, he was a mystery. You've sent a few letters and he's returned some and Simeon is a link between you two. But other than that? You didn't really have a relationship with him.

So why? Why would he send you a gift?

You looked inside to see a packet of apple pieces and herbs inside of a snack shaped teabag. You admired the unique shape and couldn't stop a small smile appearing. It was definitely cute! And you finally got to use the new kettle and cups barbatos got you.

You decided to text Simeon, telling him to thank Michael for your gift. He was surprised by this but agreed, happy you two were connecting.

Whilst your new tea brewed you were trying to figure out a way to repay his kindness. Sure it was simple small gift but he was reaching out - you were giddy! Hopeful this meant he was fully on board to the exchange program.

But you soon would regret drinking that tea. It was so sweet you couldn't stop drinking it; your lips only leaving the cup of a second of breath. It was addicting. The herb covered apples pieces gave it a nice slight bitterness. But it wasn't overbearing but didn't make it taste like sugar in your mouth.

As soon as the last gulp came down; something came up. You hunched over as your stomach churned, a disgusting taste forcing itself up your throat. Your vision growing blurry as you stumbled out of your seat, the light in your room feeling like knives to your eyes. You tried closing them but the effect didn't change. You were barely hunched over on your side releasing everything in your stomach. It stung your throat, your stomach feeling painfully empty.

There was this invisible feeling telling you to go to sleep. You wanted to obey but the light felt too painful. In your dazed state you shakily texted the groupchat a sloppy "help me ASAP, my room" before letting your body go limp, heaving as you just laid there, dragging a nearby jacket over your head and let your vision be consumed by the darkness.

Lucifer:

He's heart broken

How did this happen? You were fine and now you're not moving

Your breathing was faint against his neck as he held you

He saw the parcel and connected the dots, Eden's tea

It was a death sentence for any human, a treat for demons and a punishment for angels

He's started a war once, he can do it again

Whilst he knew he couldn't enter the celestial realm he demanded that Michael show himself

When his demands went unanswered, he was ready to break all rules

"He's gone too far, I don't care for his reasons! I WILL DESTORY THE CELESTIAL REALM IF I HAVE TO! HE WILL ANSWER ME!"

when you received a cure all his angers washed away with relief

Happy to have you awake again even if it was for a few moments

Mammon:

FLASHBACK ARE STRONG

All he can think about his how you looked like in the past; dying in his arms

He immediately went to blame belphie but almost tripped over the parcel

He's an idioit but he knew what this tea was

Becomes feral with rage and overly protective of your unconscious body

He's hunched over by your side at all times just growling at anyone who comes near you

He wanted to hurt Michael but he wanted to stay with you

He'd talk to you and tell you how he was going to get payback

"I should of known he'd do something-! I'll never forgive him- DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! I'M DOING THIS FOR THEM!"

As soon as you get the cure he's hugging you and telling you how much he missed you

Levithan:

When he found you, his heart dropped

It only got worse when he found the parcel and realized what Michael has done

he will remind the celestial realm why he is an admiral of hell's navy

He spends time by the sea communicating with any creature he can get; telling them if things go down he'll need them to flood the gates of heaven

When he isn't planning war he's with you, playing games, trying to ignore how dead you looked

He would remind you what buttons to push when your chatacter didn't move

"YOU THINK I'LL JUST LET THIS SLIDE??!! HE'S KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!"

He broke down sobbing when you woke up after getting a cure

He was convinced you were dead but here you were, alive and awake

Satan:

He's a detective nerd so of course he scoped out the scene

When he found the parcel and Michaels name - oh boy

Never met the man and pities him for letting their first meeting be the angels demise

It wasn't long before he had to be detained

Screaming and tearing up anything he could, yelling at his brother's for falling

He blamed his brothers, he blamed Michael and he blamed himself

Hated being locked away from you, would course more of a fuss when he couldn't see you

"I WILL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU IF YOU DON'T LET ME GET TO THAT DAMN ANGEL!! I HATE YOU!"

He's only calmed down when you are given a cure and he's told you're alive

Is finally allowed to see you and he holds you tight

Asmodeus:

When he found you he was sobbing

It only grew worse when he found out what happened

In Denial

Not of Michael, he believed that but in denial you were dead or were dying

Kept insisting you were just tired and sleeping

Destroyed an entire room when one of them insisted you weren't sleeping

He'd help you get ready and pamper you, telling you it's okay and you can thank him when you feel better

Would be seen wiping your face often in hopes it'll get rid of that death like appearance you have

"They're fine but Michael won't be, when my precious darling wakes up I'll make sure they know I'll make everything better."

When you bad your cure he started crying and laughing, telling everyone he was right

Clinged to you and let you sleep

Beezlebub:

He found the parcel almost immediately

And went into a rage - we all know how his hunger tantrums are

Would've destroyed the whole house if he wasn't restrained

Guilt

So much guilt, his shoulders are always sagging

Sits by your unconscious body so he feels like he's protecting you

Has tried kissing you awake

Hoping you'll wake up like a fairy tale Character and everything will be fine

"I'm going to kill Michael and I won't let any of you stop me....protect (Y/N) For me."

Was so happy and relieved when you got the cure, sticking to your side at all times even when you were awake

Belphegor:

He was quick to help you into bed and on your side

When he found the parcel he was ready to murder

His rage towards Michael massively outweighed his hatred for humanity - even Lucifer!

Beel couldn't keep control of him mostnofnthe time unless he got forceful, belphegor stuck in a headlock screeching bloody murder

Stress sleeping

Like many of the brothers he develops two modes: calm or PLANNING MASS MURDER

Whenever he gets overwhelmed he just forces body to shut down and sleep besides you

"Michael will face me again, I won't let him kill anyone else that I love! He got Lilith killed and he can't do the same for (Y/N)!"

As soon as the cure was found he was by your side

Letting you rest and watched over you

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Found out through the brothers

Sees this as an act of war against the peace he's working for

He was normally sweet and forgiving but it seemed Michael wanted to rip to his last nerve

Demanded for every reliable demon to search for a cure

Even had Solomon try to make one

"Barbatos, what is the possibility of Michael coming down to the devildom or the human realm? I want 'discuss' with him what his actions have caused."

As soon he he found out you were alive and safe

He didn't stop his plans but let himself have time with you

Barbatos:

So much guilt

Like holy shit

Is just constantly questioning how he didn't prevent this

Asked permission from the lord to just change the timelines so this didn't happen but the brothers were against it

They demanded they didn't avoid this situation and let Michael face punishment

That he couldn't refuse, he was angered by the angel's actions

More than he would ever show

"humans are so fragile and their time is so limited - that's why I'm never going to let anyone cut theirs short again."

Was part of the cure search party, he led the group

Once you were cured he stayed with you

Acting as your butler and made to check each of your foods and drinks

Solomon:

It wasn't a wise decision to piss off a wizard with stupid amount of pacts

To think an angel would do such a thing

But whilst Everyone lost their temper and searched for a cure

He was wondering - why did it happen

He was ordered asked to make you a cure

He was able to do it but the real cure was also found - giving you extra cure wasn't going to harm you

But he did plan to harm Michael

"you'd think he was smarter than this, he didn't even hide he was the one who did it but all it does is make my job easier."

nursed you until you woke up

Making sure you had mini cures to completely magic it out of your system

Simeon:

When he found out he was stunned

Betrayal - that's all he felt

How could Michael do such a thing?

But he knew Michael was a cruel angel, many having to drink Eden's tea as punishment

It burned their insides and had any poor soul sobbing for mercy after a gulp

"Michael you fool, you can get away with things in your league but you've involved the three realms into this....I pray you do not make your demise harder for yourself."

Was apart of the cure search party

Soothed you when you finally woke up, telling you it'll be okay

Let you rest as much as you wanted

Luke:

They tried to hide it from him but he kept demanding to see you

He wanted to know why everyone was acting strange

When he finally found out he was broken

His mentor

His idol

His everything

The person who always went for permission and knowledge

He thought so highly of him but he's hurt you

He's done more than that! He's tried to kill you!

He's been sobbing for days and locked himself away, he couldn't bare to see you after his once visit

He believed you were dead and they were just keeping your body

"Michael....why....why would you do this.... I thought you loved your brother's....I thought you were kind..!"

When he found out there was a cure he begged to help but they wouldn't let him

He only got to see you when you woke up and he was hugging you, crying

+ bonus Character↓

Michael:

The angel knew they'd be upset

But 9 demons wanting his blood? One wizard ready to cause mayhem and even his own kind wanting his downfall?

That he didn't expect

In his blind jealousy he didn't expect they'd all care for you this much

Thinking apart of them would be relieved you weren't there

But no

"You were my brother's before you were their partner, I'm simply doing what is right! It was their time to meet him and finally stop controlling all of you! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME! I'M YOUR FAMILY! WHY ARE THEY MORE IMPORTANT?!"

He got his answer

His wings torn to shreds, chunks of flesh bitten off him and slashes all over his body

He was left in human world bleeding and barely recognisable

They didn't hold back

He dread to think what the rest of them would do when they find him

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warmau · 4 years

Text

love struck!au x tbz

find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez *this post was commissioned through kofi

sangyeon

confident sangyeon spends half the day flirting with you

then shy sangyeon spends the rest of the day running embarrassment laps around the creker building

he has high spikes of adrenaline where its just quite literally circling you with hearts in his eyes and doves singing

and then low long silent moments where he sits in a corner, muttering at the wall and everyone is like what is going on with him

if he could he might just spend eternity flip-flopping between the two

it’d take an intervention to get him to just seize the opportunity during one of his more positive moods to just ask you on a date

the only problem is he talks so fast and so jumbled and waves his hands around

and you’re like wh-

and he’s like datetommorrowcoffeeorteawhichdoyoupreferdoyounotevenwanteitherwhataboutumlikeamoviepleasesayyes

once again you are like ?

and sangyeons meter of confidence is slowly depleting hes about to run away until sunwoo is like

let me step in and translate:

sangyeon wants to go on a date with you tomorrow

when you brighten up and accept, sangyeon just breathes a sigh of relief and maybe almost tips over from the intense amount of feelings hitting him at once lol

jacob

no one takes him seriously when he starts saying he likes you

not because you’re unlikable but because jacob says it with such normalcy that everyone is like

nah

if you liked them, you would definitely be all mushy and shy and embarrassed about it

and jacob is like what are you talking about im not embarrassed to have a crush on someone i think is really awesome

even kevin is like dude don’t push it - you shouldnt make jokes about liking people

and jacob is just like *blinks*

but seriously, everyone expects him to be writing lyrics in secret and practicing some kind of grand serenade to ask you out - like you’re literally an angel dude so you have to like someone in the most cupid-esque way possible

which jacob is just like :/ about because there’s no right way to show someone how much you like them-

juyeon: sorry what i was not listening?

you on the other hand, don’t ever even catch wind of it because jacob is so sweet at all times

polite, caring, gentle touches, lots of eye contact, little smiles that make your heart melt, the usual

that you just assume he’s like this to everyone so of course you are clueless and his lack of grandiose confessions is making everyone else clueless too

until one day jacob is like fine if no one believes me ill just tell them a

nd everyone in the room is like pfft would love to see you try-

three seconds later jacob is standing in front of you and saying “want to date me?” and you’re so shocked you can’t speak

but the rest of tbz is so shocked at least three of them nearly faint

younghoon

keeps his mouth shut

literally like shut shut like not a WORD to you or to anyone in a five foot distance of you

he’ll be talking to chanhee about something and you’ll walk in and suddenly younghoon just hits pause

chanhee is like hello are you broken hello and younghoon is just _____

until you walk out of the room and then he’s like

“-that’s why i think we shouldn’t include that dance move”

and chanhee is like what the hael just happened

you will be in a conversation and pull younghoon over to join you and when you’re like what do you think!!!!!!!1

he looks at you and the cognitive function for speech just disappears

maybe its your cute face accelerating his heartbeat or maybe its the all the nerves in his body going haywire because all he wants to say is how much he really really likes you

but he can’t just SAY that so instead he says nothing

sometimes he’s lucky and members who understand this younghoon lovestruck glitch are around can save him

but sometimes its just you and him and silence until youre like ok- well-

you think maybe he just doesnt want to talk to you because he doesnt like you

so you apologize for bothering him

and its like everything that has ever blocked him from speaking before just flies out the window

because suddenly younghoon is holding your hands in his and saying

“no, im sorry. i just dont know what to say because i like you so much.”

it’s the longest sentence you’ve ever heard from him

and you are so flustered but all you can say back is

“you can keep saying ‘i like you’ if you want...........”

younghoon for the rest of the week: i like you

you: giddy

tbz: kinda wishing he’d shut it again

hyunjae

there’s no lovestruck period, it’s straight up infatuation from day ONE

and it comes at full force

hyunjae is like bubblegum, stuck to you and only you

sugary sweet and always reminding you that he is available whenever you decided you want to take him

it can really overwhelm someone, because his attention is fixated and forthcoming

and i mean you’d really have to lack all the common sense in the world not to see that he’s interested

but that’s the thing interest is not always a form of sincerity so you just kind of chalk it up to him trying to be funny

and he sprawls across your lap like a cat

happy with the fact that you just giggle and smile because ok you might never believe that he’s so in love with you it hurts but at least you still let him near you

really people probably ask you if you’re dating him and when you say you’re not their follow up is usually like well arent you exhausted having someone you dont love always around

and you’re like um - no well - i mean - and you are like ok i mean i do love him but im not going to be a fool and fall into a trap of thinking im special

and hyunjae will literally be like they are special. i feel nothing for anyone else, it is just them

and you’re like see! he’s so sweet!

and at some point i think you either drive hyunjae crazy and he kisses you because words are pointless - actions are everything

or chanhee pushes you two into each other from pure, unfiltered annoyance

“if you love each other stop pretending like it’s a big joke and just DATE!”

juyeon

return to kindergarten romance

literally he sees you and goes pink to the ears and slinks behind his friends even though he’s taller than most of them

and he can barely hide the fact that he jumps over the rainbow when your shoulders brush in the halls

if no one knew any better, juyeon probably scribbles your name in hearts on a notebook page somewhere

but then crumples it up and almost eats it if anyone tries to see what he’s up to

but again you enter the vicinity and he’s goo - muttering and forgetting to string nouns to verbs or whatever

everyone is so amazed that someone with so much charisma on stage can turn this goddamn goofy around someone he likes

and you are energetic and bright - you always want to pull juyeon into the loop - and you think the flustered look on his face is just from genuine surprise or confusion

and you’re like “oh! let me explain what we’re doing blah blah blah” and yes juyeon knows you guys are going to play monopoly but like words? dont? come ? out ? of ? his ? mouth?

and just like kindergarten he probably ends up writing you a note about how much he likes you (tick this box for yes and this box for no) or some form of that

maybe like a text where he is like hi do you want to go on a date and it was actually supposed to be like a ten page essay about why he likes you but then he got too nervous to send it so yeah

its a text that comes out of the blue and when you agree and see juyeon in person the next day you’re like why didn’t you just ask me like months ago

and once again, words? dont? come? out? of? his? mouth?

kevin

gift giving

nonstop gift giving

like to a point where jacob is worried about kevin’s spending habits

but it is all like handmade items and cute stuff he sees that reminds him of you

and everyone knows he has a crush before he can even process it because they’re doing a show halfway across the country and everyone is like practicing or doing something on their own

and kevin’s like guys look i saw this in a shop and it reminded me of-

all of tbz looking at him like: we know who it reminded you of

he plays it off though when he gives you the gifts, he’s like ah this was just like in my bag or whatever or oh i made this extra keychain when i had a day off like do you want it

and kevin thinks he is so sly and covering it up so damn well but he isn’t

you try to give gifts back, mostly because you feel bad that he’s always offering something to you

and one day you are like - at first as a kind of jest - like “here ill just give you myself in return”

and you throw your arms around his neck like you’ve done a million times before and oh shit you think kevin is going to pass out with how fast his heart starts beating and how he overheats

and you’re like kevin?!??!?! are you ok!?!??! and he’s like areyouserious

and you’re like wh and he’s like are you serious about that,,,,and you’re like oh well i mean do you even want someone like me

and kevin unblinkingly is like of course you are the only person i want

and suddenly you realize that these gifts youve been getting are kevin’s love language and its so freaking cute

(but also stop spending money just give kisses instead) (kevin agrees but he is still like im buying you anything cute i see because u are cute and cute people deserve cute things we love kevin moon logic)

changmin

ignores his feelings by throwing himself into his work

much to the surprise of no one, because he’s naturally a workoholic and perfectionist, but this time something is off

no one should be beating themselves up over such miniscule mistakes like he is

and hyunjae is convinced changmin has finally lost it, like the goddamn lid has flew off the kettle with this one

because they finish practice and everyone is clapping and changmin looks like he’s going to crush the speakers with his bare hands

less lovestruck as he is loveconfused because the real reason he’s so upset is like

he wants to focus so hard on being a great performer and whatnot but when he shuts his eyes or takes a moment to breath

his brain is fuzzy with thoughts of you and not like super romantic flowery thoughts like you see in movies or read in comics

its just little snapshots of you being,,,,,,,,,,,you

laughing along with eric, fixing the hem of your shirt in the mirror, waving at changmin before looking both ways and crossing the street to his side

GOD WHEN HAS SOMEONE CROSSING THE STREET MADE HIS HEART DO A BACKFLIP

the worst thing is he can’t seem to find a way for it to stop until like you are actually in front of him

like the real you - not the memories and thoughts he has daily of you - no just you

and you’re putting your hands on his face and he’s sweaty and hot from dancing for god knows how long and you’re like

“don’t wear yourself out like this, take care of yourself - if you don’t want to do it for you - can you do it for me?”

and changmin realizes oh right - for you, for you he could move mountains, for you he could fly, like seriously for you he could do anything

and he thinks he just says this to himself but he just said it outloud and somewhere in the room hyunjae is slapping his knee like

“AH! he’s not nuts - he’s just in love.”

chanhee

falls head over heels for you and expects you to read his mind about it

you walk into a room and he sits up a little straighter and is like ok one step two step ok come over to me, look at me, pay attention to me

and you - because you are not a mindreader - go to talk to juyeon first

and chanhee is like OH I SEE HOW IT IS and gets all moody there on out

honest to god he probably knows he’s overreacting but he just does not get why you cant tell how he’s feeling

and he asks like everyone this question and theyre like what? because you aren’t making it obvious at all?

and chanhee is like what the hell do you mean i totally make it obvious and everyone is like did you ask them out? did you get them a gift? did you compliment them?

and chanhee crosses his arms like no......but like......i smiled at them in a way i dont smile at the rest of you clowns

tbz: :/

either way, you start to notice this pattern, that when chanhee is not getting your attention he gets a little like a cat and curls himself away from you

so you, much like one with a cat, start to shower him in attention

and he just uncurls and gets all giddy and swats anyone away who tries to get into your little bubble with him

and its a bit entertaining really lol but you think its just chanhee being chanhee

till it keeps happening over and over and over again and you’re like ok wait

and chanhee is like hmm and you’re like why dont we just go somewhere alone together like on a date or something if thats what you like so much

and chanhee, who has been under the suspicion you have been going on dates sitting together in the tbz practice room is like

“oh right! a date, um i guess sure!”

inside he is screaming

haknyeon

does not waste time, he puts his detective hat on and makes a plan

for one of the youngest members he probably puts the most diligence into liking someone

its not just lovestruck butterflies and running away whenever you’re around

haknyeon swats all that gooey-mushy stuff away and is like ok lets see what movies do you like? what kind of food do you like? he has to know so that when he asks you out he is ready to impress

it shocks some of his other members, sangyeon has never seen haknyeon almost bite younghoon’s hand when he tried to as him to get off the shared desktop

haknyeon just wants to know everything about you - which kevin says he could probably do by talking more to you

and haknyeon is like go away grandpa and kevin is like WH-

either way, when it all comes to a head and haknyeon has memorized what he’s going to say in his confession to you for the one millionth time

he does not prepare for what actually happnes

which is you bound up to him with your arms open and you’re like let’s hang out! just the two of us!

and he’s like ok ill go get the other- wait

haknyeon.exe has stopped working

because truth be told he’d spend so much time trying to research and be perfect when all you really like about him is how fun and eccentric he can be

so you just ask him out first and this was not in the plan, but haknyeon is not about to let go of your warm hand as you pull him along beside you

sunwoo

swears to deny it to his grave because one) it’s embarrassing and.........no that’s it. it is embarrassing to have feelings

jacob: feelings aren’t embarrassing! they’re the reason we can care so deeply about others <3

sunwoo: ok nerd........keep it moving

and unlike younghoon who just goes silent around the people he likes or juyeon who tries to find sangyeon to hide behind

sunwoo just straight up is like cold. and you are like what didi i do?

everyone is just like he’s complicated, it’s just who he is and he’s young so just ignore him

but it makes you sad that sunwoo just doesn’t want to be your friend

and in sunwoo’s head he’s like I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DREAM PERSON BUT THATS SO FREAKING CORNY TO SAY SO LET ME JUST MAKE GRUMPY FACE

he also has such a bad luck, even when he’s not trying to come off mean he probably accidentally spills something on you or breaks something of yours

and instead APOLOGIZING like everyone is telling him to do he just yoinks out of the room and you’re like damn :(

to be honest, i think the more you guys get distant the more sunwoo falls deeper into it because even with everything

you are always so kind and sweet and how? like how? how are you doing that?

it probably takes a miracle or actually just like someone spilling the beans to you that sunwoo stayed up all night trying to fix the bracelet of yours he broke for it to all change

for you to find sunwoo and hug him and thank him for trying to fix it and the minute you touch him its like

all these stupid little walls he built melt into nothing and sunwoo is just like i like you so much im sorry im so dumb and you’re like

well you’re like shocked but youre like im sorry i also like you and im also dumb sometimes

both of you standing there wide eyed but also like super super super giddy

one day you aren’t even talking to each other the next day you are cuddling on the couch

kevin: these people are giving me literal whiplash

eric

thinks you’ll never feel the same way so he does the next best thing, he tries to be your bestest friend

for someone so spunky and confident in himself most of the time you’d think lovestruck eric would just GO for it

but more than he is like outgoing and brave, he is devoted to people he loves

and losing you as a friend over confessing his feelings would probably spiral him into a dark place

so he’ll just take his spot as a super close friend, and horrible wingman

who tries to get you to admit that you like someone in the group when you have told eric ten times no you dont like changmin like that and yes juyeon is cute but youre not interested

and eric just wants you to be happy and he thinks youre lying and keeping it from him because like you think it would be weird to date someone in tbz

and he’s like cmon tell me! or do you like someone from skz, im friends with felix - do you think he’s cute

and at some point it wears you down and you are just like over to play video games and have fun with eric

and he’s like hey felix said you were pretty when i showed him a photo and you are like ERIC LISTEN TO ME and he’s like blinking like oh?

and you’re like i do like someone but its you and so since that isnt going to happen lets move on

and eric is like lets not move on because from the minute i saw you i thought cupid lodged an arrow so deep in my heart its been stuck their permanently and yes i watched hercules last night so i made that analogy isn’t it about time you kissed me so i would shuttup?

and when you do you’re like ok i have wanted to do that SO many times and he’s like well you should have

and youre like dont be sassy i will bring up every oppurtunity you tried to hook me up with your group member if you do and he’s like

i will shut my mouth forever if that is what you wish <3

#the boyz au #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz au #tbz imagines #member: the boyz #tbz scenarios #the boyz #tbz #sfw #the way younghoon is the ideal man: nothing to say just heart eyes in a stupor JK trgkdls

1K notes · View notes

sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years

Text

The General (part 9): Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

synopsis: nothing is the way it was before. there is no future; there is no past. all there is... is nothing.

wc: 2.1k

tw: light gore

masterlist

“She’s not gonna eat; I already told you that.”

The sounds of Kaori and Toji fighting just outside of your door leak into your room, but you’re beyond caring. Megumi sits beside you in the sun-lit room, eyes scanning the outdoors, looking for any sign of an animal. You’re tucked underneath a warm, thick blanket, despite the temperature outside being warm enough to cause a little sweat. No, things were better this way.

When you had come to after blacking out, Toji, Kaori, and Megumi were hovering over you, trying to figure out what to do about the General’s untimely passing. But in the two months since, no one had quite figured out how to bring you back to life. The only thing they could do is watch you slowly waste away and become a shell of your former self.

Your parents suspect it’s because your princely husband had not sent for you since the war had ended, and you’re grieving a supposed loss. But neither Kaori nor Toji had the heart to admit that this loss wasn’t supposed. It was real.

Your days are spent in your bed or in the garden behind the house, mind empty as Megumi attempts to watch over you and possibly even cheer you up by play-fighting with his father. But more often than not, you’re reduced to tears, and Toji fetches Kaori because he “can’t deal with crying women”.

“My lady?” The head maid enters into your room with an orange and onigiri in her hands. “I brought you some fresh fruit from the market. Hamai sends her regards as well.” Hamai - Yuta’s sister and wife of Yuko - had also attempted to visit you, but her grief motivated her to knock on your door, and you couldn’t bear to think of Yuta or Nanami or--

“Thank you,” you croak, and she nods, handing Megumi the two onigiri.

“Your father said you’d better eat these or he’ll never--”

“‘Feed me again’. I know,” Megumi chants monotonously and takes the rice balls from her hands. “Thank you, Kaori-san.”

“Are you sure you don’t want any visitors?” Kaori asks for the third time. You cut your eyes to her, attempting a glare. “Hamai would love to come and--”

“Listen, the lady said no visitors,” Toji gripes, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. “I’ve been fighting off a ton of measly looking men who have nothing to say except ‘I’ve come to see Lady y/n’ and honestly, if you invite another person to this damn place, I’ll kill them on the spot.”

You roll away from the two people and look out of the window, remaining silent as Megumi eats his onigiri and stares at the bears and tigers in his book. Kaori and Toji retreat, restarting their squabble as soon as the door closes, leaving you to think about nothing and no one.

_______________________________________________________________________

You’re in the garden when Megumi runs up to you, holding a light pashmina to cover your shoulders in the chill of fall.

“Careful, you might get sick,” he warns, and you accept the article with a smile.

“Thank you, sweet one.” The child climbs onto the bench you’re seated on, swinging his legs while you stare at the shishi-odoshi in silence. You’re suddenly reminded of the three other sweet children you left back at the camp, and before you can begin to sob out loud, your hand flies to your mouth.

“Hey,” Toji appears from the house, hands deep in his pockets as he surveys the area. “You alright?”

“Just fine,” you whisper, pushing back tears and grief all at once. “I just needed some peace and quiet.”

“Yeah, gardens will give you that.” Toji stands beside the fountain and stares into the water for a moment before turning to Megumi. “There’s a frog out by the lake if you’re interested in--” Megumi hops down from the bench and disappears around the corner in a flash, abandoning you without a worry in the world. You sigh, watching him fade into the distance, and then turn to Toji, who is already staring at you with some unreadable expression.

“What is it?” you grumble, blinking slowly.

“Nothing, just…” Toji presses his lips together and looks sky-ward, thinking about his next words carefully. “I know you feel like everyone in the whole world can fuck off since Geto died… but have you ever considered moving on?” You tilt your head to the side, wondering if Toji really ever listened to himself talk. “I mean, yeah this shit is painful, but…” Toji rubs his neck and looks away from you and back to the fountain. “You have to move on at some point.”

“He told me to wait for him,” you explain, wrapping the pashmina a little tighter and squinting at the shapes in the pool. “I’m going to do just that.”

“Y/n, he’s dead… what good will waiting do? Will you wait your whole life?”

Your head snaps to Toji and you curl your lip up in disgust.

“You’ve never loved anyone in this world but yourself and your money,” you spit, standing from your seated position so fast that Toji takes a half-step back. “I don’t imagine that you’d know what I’m talking about.”

“That’s not true,” he retorts, frowning. “I’m trying to help you, that’s all. I’d hate to see you waste away over a man who can’t even survi--” The pashmina falls from your shoulders as your hand makes contact with his face, the echo of the slap scaring a flock of birds from the surrounding trees into the sky.

“Speak ill of Geto again, and I’ll make sure those words are your last.” Toji doesn’t touch his bruised cheek as you stomp off, watching you retreat back into the house as he realizes that he let you slap him.

_______________________________________________________________________

Screams haunt your sleep, fire burns the camp, and you’re running away, holding hands with the children as you dash into the forest. Geto is behind you, fighting off some unknown assailant, but you instinctively know how the dream is going to end.

You trip and fall over a root of a tree, but you yell at the children to escape. They continue running, not sparing you a second glance, but you turn around just as Geto is stabbed through the chest by a spear and falls with his back to the ground. His head tilts back and he makes eye contact with you, blood pouring out of his mouth as he chokes:

“Wait for me.”

You shoot up in the bed and stumble out of your room through the sliding door that leads to the garden, sweat pouring down your neck and back as you sink to your knees. Your stomach heaves once, twice, depositing yellow bile into the bushes beside the house. The sun is barely up, and as you dry heave, you hear another door sliding open, Toji then Kaori tumbling out of your back door.

“Poison,” Toji grunts, but Kaori pushes him aside before he can get to you.

“No, she didn’t even eat anything before bed,” she states, rubbing your back with her cool hands. Your skin clams up as a breeze rolls across the garden, and you shudder violently before your teeth begin to chatter. “Toji, a blanket.”

“Isn’t that your job?” he gripes, but walks into the house to grab a blanket anyways. When the cloth resta against your back, you feel a little better, but the feeling in your stomach won’t go away.

“My Lady… talk to me. What’s the matter?”

“Go,” you shake Kaori off, not wanting to repeat the events of your dream.

“It’s probably because she didn’t eat,” Toji groans, the stairs squeaking under his weight. “I’ll get her a --”

“Both of you. Go.” You look up at Toji, mustering your sternest look, and aiming the same expression at Kaori, who walks away from you, head hung low.

You stay in the garden as true morning crests over the sky, lying on the bench under the bare cherry blossom tree while the skies turn into pinks and yellows, and reds. The image of Geto’s bloodied face wouldn’t depart from your memory and you feel the ache even deeper than before. The ache intensifies until it feels like all of you is just one large hole, throbbing with need and grief.

Nothing could save you.

No one was coming back for you.

They were all dead, and there was nothing left of the people you had grown to love and care for.

It isn’t until your mother walks into the garden that you realize you might have missed your breakfast of an orange and water, but she comes bearing the fruit and you’re set back at ease. You wordlessly allow your mother to sit beside you, lifting your head so it rests in her lap snugly. She pats your hair gently, then inhales deeply, speaking in her normal soft tones.

“Kaori told me you were sick last night,” she begins, and you nod as if she had asked a question and not stated a fact. “Ever since Geto Suguru died, you’ve been awfully sullen. One might think you had been with him the whole time and not at the Imperial Palace.” You glance up at your mother, and she winks at you. “Don’t worry; I won’t tell your father.”

“How did you know?” you wonder, and she smiles, wrinkles forming at the edges of her mouth.

“Well first, whoever the General gets to write his letters needs to brush up on their penmanship,” she laughs, then shrugs. “But it was your face the day that the General was announced dead that I saw you change. It only took me a few days to realize that you were in mourning, not upset that your prince hadn’t sent for you.”

“Mother, I--”

“You had every right to keep it a secret, although I wish you hadn’t. It would’ve made my interrogation of Toji much easier.” You imagine your own mother - all of five-foot-four, standing up to the massive Fushiguro with a finger to his chest - and you can’t help but chuckle. “Whatever the General did, I haven’t seen you glowing like you did when you returned since you were a little girl. I’ll have to find a way to thank him for that.”

You choke out a deep sob, closing your eyes as you think of the lack of tribute, the lack of a funeral, the missing images of him that won’t return to your memory.

“Though Toji takes good care of you. I haven’t seen that man slack off on his job once since after the announcement. He’s also been very helpful with your father. You know, he would ma--”

“Lady y/n!” Kaori sprints out of the home, and you both look up to see her flustered expression, wondering what would have her so worked up this early in the morning. “There was a messenger from the Imperial Palace in the square!” she stops in front of you, panting heavily. “The Emperor… has fallen… ill.” When she catches her breath, the head maid can finally finish her statement, and she exhales deeply. “As is custom, his eldest son will be taking a tour of the country. And he’s named this village as his final stop, with your house as his resting place for the time he is here. He’ll be in the village in a fortnight.” You sit up, eyeing the maid carefully.

Pieces of a puzzle begin to click together in your mind.

“His eldest son is Prince Naoya, correct?”

“Yes, my lady.” As if sensing your premature plan, Kaori looks you dead in the eyes, daring you to do what she imagines you are already thinking of.

“And you said a fortnight?” Your mother butts in, squinting her eyes.

“Yes.”

“Fourteen days to prepare.” you whisper, lifting your head out of your mother’s lap and retreating to the house to find the eldest Fushiguro. Kaori enters behind you, grabbing your elbow before you can open his guest room door.

“What you’re thinking of is suicide,” she hisses, but you shrug.

“What better way to rejoin Geto than to kill his murderer and then die myself?” you retort, but she slaps a hand over the gap between the wall and the door, blocking you from entering.

“This isn’t what he would want,” Kaori pleads. “Please, think about what he said.”

“I cannot wait for a dead man, Kaori. Now, let me go.” You yank free from her grasp and enter the guest room, eyeing a lazy Toji lounging by the window. “I need your help.”

He rolls his head around to look at you and raises a brow. “With what, my lady?”

“I need to kill a prince in two weeks. Think you can help me with that?”

“You mean treason?” Toji sits up, letting the book he held in his hands drop to his bed, and hums thoughtfully. “Killing a prince as revenge… putting the Imperial Court into chaos… yeah, I think I can help you with that.”

_______________________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @kamisamaundercover @jotazinha @just4readingfics @mxhi @sammytamaki @brownskinnedgirll @keelyshayee @leanne-tamashi @vabybizzle @amaris9 @fuegy-fuegy @ambiguous-something

#jujutsu kaisen getou #geto x reader #jjk geto #geto suguru #getou x reader #getou suguru #jjk gojo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #gojo satoru #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #jjk megumi #megumi fushiguro

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nitpick7 · 3 years

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Ayo anyone wanna see my essay on why removing Anybody Have A Map made the Dear Evan Hansen movie worse? It is slightly long

Disclaimer: I did like the movie (I cried three times), but I think they made some stupid decisions with it.

Dear Evan Hansen movie + musical spoilers under the cut, plus a fair amount of DEH neg/crit

Instead of Anybody Have A Map, they just have Evan's mom say "Hey are you writing those letters to yourself? Also you should ask the kids to sign your cast" before he goes to school and sings Waving Through A Window. They ignore every other part of the song and quickly insert the only thing from the song that's absolutely needed to understand the story so Evan can go be angsty at school. We don't even meet the Murphys until they meet Evan in the principal's office to tell him about Connor.

Disclaimer part 2 electric boogaloo: I complain about Evan a lot here. It's not because I think his experiences aren't valid and it's not because I'm trying to demonize people with mental illnesses or something. I know that his own struggles influenced his bad decisions. That doesn't mean they weren't bad decisions. He still did shitty things and he wasn't justified (listen to Words Fail), but I know it was influenced by his mental health.

On with the complaining!

First of all, the movie opens with Waving Through A Window? It feels like they're putting the most popular song first as a desperate grab for your attention to convince you the movie is good and like... they really didn't need to do that. Waving Through A Window is right after Anybody Have A Map, it's not like anyone's gonna walk out of the theatre after one (really good) song.

Anybody Have A Map establishes a few things: it shows us that both of these families are struggling so that we know immediately that the Murphys' perfect facade is fake, it shows us that Connor was a dick to his family (this is very important), and obviously it tells us why Evan was writing letters to himself. It also introduces us to the two main families at the same time so we know this story isn't just about Evan.

By starting the movie with an Evan solo song instead of the group song, they frame Evan as the one main character, the only person whose perspective we need to understand. But Evan is incredibly flawed, just like everyone else, and by making us think the story is only about him, it immediately makes us (the audience) more inclined to believe that Evan is always in the right and less inclined to consider everyone else's side of the story. Evan is an incredibly unreliable narrator, he's always going to frame his actions as correct, or at least excusable, even when he's actively hurting/lying to other people.

All of the Murphys get introduced through interacting with Evan instead of interacting with each other. This makes it seem like the Murphys only exist for Evan, but the entire point of the climax is that everything doesn't exist just for Evan! Evan is not part of their family, he can't just use everyone around him for his own benefit, and all of the Murphys have lives outside of him. When they're introduced through Evan, they're introduced as existing for Evan. Anybody Have A Map introduces them separately from Evan instead of attached to him.

Without Anybody Have A Map, we never actually see Connor being mean to Zoe, so she just looks like an asshole for not being sad about her dead brother. To make up for it, she's constantly having to tell the audience why she hated him, tripping over herself to talk about all the shitty things he did to her because we don't have Anybody Have A Map to show us their interactions. Zoe ends up complaining about her brother the entire time, so when it gets to Only Us and she says that she doesn't want everything to be about her brother, it seems out of character for her.

And with the removal of Anybody Have A Map, we don't ever see Connor interact with his own family in the movie. Anybody Have A Map is the only time we get to see Connor with his family. It shows us that Connor really was an asshole to his family, it justifies Zoe hating him, and it gives his mom more dimensions by showing her struggling to keep her family together even with everyone fighting against her. Without that, the writers ended up ignoring the most basic piece of writing advice - "show, don't tell" - to fill in the missing information from the song.

In the movie, all we get of Cynthia Murphy is... her being sad about Connor and refusing to admit that he ever did anything wrong. She's just boring and annoying in the movie, but in the musical, we get that bit at the beginning that shows her as an actual person with actual motivations! By cutting Anybody Have A Map, they made her into a more one-dimensional character.

So in a bit of a conclusion: Anybody Have A Map establishes the Murphys as main characters separate from Evan and shows us Connor's relationship with his family instead of telling us about it. It sets the scene for the story before just jumping into "Evan is sad and alone uwu anxious depressed soft boy" and makes everyone a better, more three-dimensional character. Getting rid of it meant that they had to do backflips to justify everyone's decisions during the movie instead of setting everything up at the beginning.

I do think the movie could've benefitted from Disappear but then again, it could've benefitted from the whole "Connor being the visual/vocal representation of Evan's justifications for why keeping up the lie is helping people" thing in general, but they got rid of that so Disappear wouldn't have worked. (I am salty that they got rid of that thing but whatever) The Anonymous Ones worked instead and it was a good song, so sure, why not I guess? /neutral

I could also complain about how they got rid of To Break In A Glove, Disappear, and Good For You, but none of those decisions actually impacted the story too much. To Break In A Glove and Good For You both got replaced with some tell-not-show cutscenes that gave us the same information in a less interesting way (and Larry got less character development without To Break In A Glove), and Disappear got replaced with an Alana song which was honestly pretty good so i'm fine with that one.

Now for some good changes that the movie made!

The Anonymous Ones was a good song, I actually really liked that. I'm disappointed that they got rid of Disappear, but they replaced it with another song that served the same purpose while also giving Alana more screen time and character depth! And it was a genuinely good song, I really enjoyed it and it made me like Alana more!

I really liked the ending of the movie. In the musical, there are literally no negative consequences for Evan, Zoe even forgives him at the end. She fucking forgives him for lying to her entire family about their dead son and and taking advantage of them because it "brought them closer together". And the internet never finds out what he did! He does all this terrible shit, lies to the entire fucking world, and gets away scot-free. And he never learns anything real about Connor. The movie changes all of that.

Connor's song was also a great addition! Every time we saw Connor in the musical, he was either being a dick or he was a fantasy version of himself made by Evan and/or Jared. Seeing that Connor can, in fact, be a nice person, that Cynthia's belief in him wasn't misplaced, was so satisfying. He really was just a meaner version of Evan a troubled kid lashing out at the world in self-defense. He wasn't an entirely bad person.

The Murphys still decide not to tell anyone what he did, but then Evan decides (on his own!) that he needs to own up to what he did. He records a video of himself admitting to what he did, shifts all the blame to himself, and then goes out of his way to fix his mistakes in any way he can. He says that his biggest regret is not getting to know Connor while he had the chance, so he goes online to find anything he can. He reads Connor's favorite books, tries to find anyone who might be able to tell him what Connor was like, and when he receives a video of Connor playing his song in rehab, he takes the time to send the video (through the mail, on a flash drive) to the Murphys, Jared, and Alana.

Evan doesn't contact Zoe at the end, she contacts him instead. She doesn't forgive him, and he doesn't ask for forgiveness. He knows what he did was wrong and he owns up to it and tries to fix it as much as possible, knowing full well that it could ruin his life. He does the right thing for the first time in the entire fucking movie (that's hardly even an exaggeration) and it's such a good ending. It makes more sense and is more satisfying than the musical.

The Dear Evan Hansen movie was not nearly as bad as the reviews say it was. It wasn't as good as the musical, it had its own problems, but it also made some good changes that I think made the story better. It wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it and most movies aren't perfect anyway. It really could've benefitted from Anybody Have A Map, though.

#the first draft of this took 50 minutes to write and it was on discord #then i spent a solid hour editing it while at work #please appreciate me /hj #pie.txt #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen movie #dear evan hansen musical #dear evan hansen review #evan hansen #connor murphy #zoe murphy #cynthia murphy #larry mora #alana beck #i tagged a post for once now give me clout #/j /j

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jadelynlace · 3 years

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ink drinker / modern vikings au, Ivar x F!Reader

author’s note: long story short, I wrote this series but used an OFC that I use for most of my longer series. many thanks to @victoria-styles for her suggestion of making it a reader / Y/N story. major plot tweaks as well.

synopsis: Ivar was only meant to be a friend with benefits, but he caught feelings for his older brother’s best friend: you.

pairing: Ivar x Reader

✎

“Not into the million dollar bullshit?” You heard a voice beckon from behind you, stepping forwards with a light to start the cigarette that hung between your Oxford red stained lips.

“Crawling through the depths of hell sounds more pleasant than being here,” You grumbled back through the cloud of grey smoke slipping past your lips. You watched the figure next to you light up his own cigarette, taking note at how his fingers curled around the stick as he laughed with your words. “I’m only here to calm Hvitserk,”

“And he’s not even here,” He said back with a laugh, blue eyes peeking to grab at yours.

“Structure fire across town,” You tell him. “Told him that if he’s so inclined he can bring the truck over here and spray the party with the water,” Ivar laughed at that.

“Fuck, you clean up nice. And I love a woman in uniform,” He teases, smirking as you do too. It went silent for a second between you two, sticks of chemicals on your lips as his eyes did not miss the way your dress hugged at your body, how your stilettos were secured around your ankles. He couldn’t pull his mind back quickly enough before he was imagining them over his shoulders, your lips that curled around the filter and how they might look around his cock. How you were the first person who gave him complete reign over the ink he was going to forever mark your body with.

“Let’s just say I’d rather slice my own tongue off and choke on it than admit to that, actually wearing something other than the blues, and enjoying it,” You groan as the man next to you laughs, a sick snicker coming from his lips and you find yourself smiling too. “But you don’t clean up half bad yourself, Ivar,” You tease back as your eyes catch sight of the roll of his sleeves, how he maneuvers the buttons and pulls the white fabric back to show the first indications of sleeved out arms.

“Where do you want to go?” Ivar asks, taking the cigarette from his mouth to stub.

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t think I fucking stuttered,” He started in challenge. “You said you didn’t want to be here, so where would you like to go?” He asks a quick swipe of his tongue over his lips as he cocks his head to the side awaiting your answer.

“Alright, Ragnarsson, you’re fucking on,” You laugh back, crushing your own stick with the spike of your heel as you follow him.

Hvitserk was a man who took most things with a grain of salt, others came with a few shots of whiskey. He had seen the darker side of humanity, and you were right there with him when he did. Your interest in becoming certified for emergency medicine had followed you since your high school graduation, and you were right on the top of the sign up sheet when class enrolled. And you stayed on top when your graduated. Company firings and how it lead to short staffing, moving of some onto better things lead to an opening you leapt on and found yourself paired with a paramedic with blonde hair and a smile that could cause most of the human population to smile back. It did not take long for a friendship to strike up, even outside of the station and the blazing sirens. His humor, his companionship kept you sane, kept the darkness of the horrid calls at bay, you two grew close, quickly.

Even if company policy allowed the romantic attachments between co-workers, you still couldn’t find yourself catching some sort of feeling to Hvitserk. He was a friend, your best, and it was left at that. You trusted him with your life, you’d gladly lay on the stretcher and head into the emergency room as long as he was the paramedic who was treating you.

Sigurd came next in the line of his brothers, an obsession with music, and nothing but the best that world could offer. He had an artistic hand, Hvitserk drove you towards his place of employment for permanent artwork to your liking and that was how you met Ivar. He watched you tip toe through his portfolio, but if Sigurd had talent, then Ivar was a God. You had never seen such movement on skin where he would trace his ink. You didn’t want to pull a design off of the internet and ask Ivar to put in on you, it seemed almost rude, instead you told him where you wanted it, and told him to go crazy. He looked at you in such a way, thinking you were joking. Perhaps too un-educated in the world of tattoos, but you held your ground and he was proud of such a feat.

Work was all too consuming, trying to leave space for time other than the blood pressure cuffs and patient history. You’d spend time out on town with Hvitserk, his brothers soon in tow, a party of their own that they could become. You were shocked Hvitserk hadn’t caught on, that none of them had, how long you had been spreading your legs for Ivar in secret. Petty bantering between the two of you, the others making bets to see whom would kill whom first, but that chatter went towards the foreplay that would follow you two into the bedroom. The most shock you came to realize was how Ivar was always there in the morning—it took a lot of you to convince him to leave, but he always mumbled something about five more minutes just for holding you.

Perhaps it was how your days were spent doused in testosterone, one of the three women of the entire station, entire company, leaving you to be able to handle yourself around men with egos far bigger than the dicks they would carry. That was how you were so seamlessly integrated into the Ragnarsson brother’s, struck up like the sister they never got. That was how Ivar found himself thinking about you far more than a friend with or without benefits would, how tightly you snug around his cock, how you look and sounded when you came for him, how you had pulled more from him than any other woman he had slept with. How you made him feel appreciated and not like a man who needed to navigate himself with his dick to get what women he wanted. How you didn’t toss him to the side after the first fuck. You drove him crazy and he didn’t have the words to admit to it.

“If I hear a grumble from you one more time Ivar, I am going to kick you out of the shop,” Sigurd spoke from his spot at the front desk, thumbing through a magazine of industry products as Ivar hissed a curse at him in reply. “What the fuck is you problem?”

“Y/N,” Ivar answered all too quickly.

“What? She hurt your ego too bad last time we were out? Didn’t stroke it enough to your liking?” Sigurd teased.

“No,” Ivar said. “She didn’t stroke me enough to my liking,” But Ivar said the words far too quickly before he could catch them.

“Are you fucking her?” Sigurd said, sitting up in his chair. “You two are fucking?” He laughed.

“Shut up,” Ivar grumbled, a toss of his pencil flying to grace the space Sigurd was at.

“She cut your dick off? That the issue?” He teased. “Hvitserk’s going to go ape-shit, dude,”

“That’s why we’re not telling him yet, right Sigurd?” Ivar said “Right, Sigurd?” He repeated with an extended finger at his brother.

“How long have you two been fucking—I need to know that, for science, and because I am still in shock. How did you—her? She’s too good for you Ivar, you have to be careful there,”

“Two years,” Ivar remarked and Sigurd nearly fell out of his chair.

“Fuck! You ask her out yet?”

“We’re not talking about this—or telling anyone else, right?” Ivar said again.

“Yes, sir,” Sigurd nodded, a fake salute from his hand as his mind was still scrambled.

“Don’t call me sir,” Ivar snapped.

“Yes ma’am,”

You’d never forget the call that came through dispatch a month after you and Ivar had started to screw around more often than fuck buddies would. The address sounded familiar, but Hvitserk was the one who made the connection it was the shop. Ink Drinker was a parlor bathed in black; walls and dark floors that made the rooms look like they never ended. The art displayed belonged to that of Ivar, of Sigurd, of the few others who came and went for their tattoo work. The owner had wooden sculptures of his own to line the spaces, but you had only ever seen the man through his social media.

You feared suddenly something happening to Ivar, or Sigurd, readying yourself for the sight that may hold them there, but it wasn’t them. A patron had passed out to the sight of the needles, sending Ivar to sour his entire mood at the weakness for something he found so simple. His flash of anger changed suddenly when you and his brother showed up, jumping from the rig in full expectance to see either sibling in a bloody mess after fighting to their death.

“I called and specifically asked for Hvitserk Ragnarsson and his partner,” Sigurd teased as the teenager came too, apologizing and still paying Ivar for the appointment he was too scared to cancel.

“I was hoping it would be a trauma call, you finally snapping and kicking Ivar’s ass,” You answered back, smirking at Ivar as he rolled his eyes in distaste. Ivar’s eyes climbed your whole body as you worked, the uniform marking your hierarchy and importance as you took the patient to the hospital. His text message not ten minutes later almost made you head back just to smack him.

“You’re keeping the uniform on next time we fuck.”

Tags:

@smileysam13579 @dreamtherapy @heisentwerk @angelofthenightposts @ill-skillsgard @youaremyfamiliar @unbetaedimagines @kathryn-jane @readsalot73 @skrsgardspam @lihikainanea @victoria-styles @queen-sarang @anastasiaskarsgard @andmyannabellee @youbloodymadgenius @apenas-mais-uma-pessoa @walkxthexmoon @flowers-in-your-hayr @peachyboneless @heavenly1927 @theanxietyqueen17 @trip2themoon

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bamf-jaskier · 3 years

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Fringilla’s Tragic Backstory

If we can talk about the tragic backstory for the villain of every piece of media I’m going to do it for Fringilla too. Because this woman has been THROUGH IT.

For @muslimyennefer, fellow Fringilla fan

TLDR: Fringilla has a classic corruption arc, comparable to the likes of Eve Polastri, Will Graham, Anakin Skywalker and Morgana Pendragon. She starts out quiet and caring and ends hardened and many might say cruel. Her treatment at Aretuza was terrible and definitely ties into her decision to cut off all ties and fully commit herself to Nilfgaard.

Let’s start out by talking about her personality when she first enters Aretuza. She is shown to be very caring and also very shy. When Tissaia states that Fringilla’s conduit moment was freezing a cat she immediately says she didn’t mean to and then later when they are working with lightning Fringilla is the first one to try and help Doralis.

She is also shown to be one of, if not the most talented mage in their class. However, she receives none of the praise that Sabrina does. In fact, Tissaia specifically sets up the first lesson so that the person who is the most successful at the spell is the one who suffers the consequences because she never tells her students about the dangers of the spell until Fringilla withers her hand.

The worst part of Fringilla’s hand? It isn’t fixed until her Ascension. FOUR YEARS LATER. Tissaia’s “lesson” (which wasn’t a lesson because the students didn’t have all the information) caused Fringilla pain and suffering for four years. Despite her hand, which must have been extremely painful judging by Fringilla’s cry when it happened, she remains the most powerful mage in her class.

You can see Fringilla’s hand both during the lightning scene and during the ascension scene.

It isn’t healed until the ball where Fringilla is dancing with King Virfuril and her left hand is no longer withered.

Once again, I ask, WHY did Tissaia have Fringilla spend four years in pain and suffering by something she directly caused and had the ability to fix?

On this same note, it’s important to note that Fringilla has a similar talent level to Sabrina, she never messes up and she always is at the top. Tissaia praises Sabrina but never does Fringilla to the same extent. In fact, Tissaia treats Fringilla similar to Yennefer where she degrades them both but there is one key difference: Tissaia wants to give Yennefer opportunities in court and wants her somewhere like Aedirn. Tissaia actively wanted to sabotage Fringilla.

When meeting with the council of mages, Tissaia pushes for Fringilla to be sent to Nilfgaard. As Fringilla is one of the most promising mages in her year, this is a very confusing choice. She outright says:

Vanielle of Brugge: King Fergus is proving to be an effective and excitable young king.

Stregobor: Horny, she means. Spending the kingdom’s money on women as his people starve to death.

Tissaia: Fringilla will be in Nilfgaard by week’s end. She will bring sanity and bread to the people.

Stregobor: Your girl is- With all due respect, [to Artorius] your niece is only capable of doing what she’s told.

Artorius: No ambitious mage wants to be assigned anywhere south of Sodden. But Nilfgaard needs correcting. Perhaps we consider sending someone there with a bit more… spine. Stregobor, did you have anyone in mind?

Tissaia chose to originally send Fringilla to Nilfgaard even though she expected Fringilla to basically rot there and have no upward mobility. Everyone agrees that Nilfgaard is a very bad place to be. When Yennefer thinks she is sent there she even tells Istredd:

Yennefer: Can your apology save me from Nilfgaard? Take me to Aedirn? Do they make me more than my blood?

Just to clarify: Yennefer should NOT have been sent to Nilfgaard and there is a whole other post to be made about elven macro and micro aggressions in the Witcher, but what’s important to understand here is that Tissaia specifically chose to send one of her most talented pupils to a kingdom with no mobility and a corrupt king.

As well, during the Ball when Fringilla sees Yennefer go with King Virfuril she looks terrified when she realizes that she is now being sent to Nilfgaard. Tissaia hands Fringilla off to her uncle Artorius Vigo and even though that shot clearly is meant to focus on Tissaia, shout-out to Mimi Ndiweni for going that hard on the acting.

So basically Fringilla was treated like shit for four years despite her talent, then used as a pawn in Tissaia and the overall Brotherhood’ schemes and she is a GREAT example of the characters that get left behind in the hero’s stories. Yes, it is an amazing thing that Yennefer gained autonomy and said fuck you to Tissaia by getting the Aedirn position but we dont often think about the characters that end up suffering becuase of these plot points such as Fringilla.

She was sent to Nilfgaard ill-prepared and we don’t know what happened there, but whatever occurred in the 50 years before Fringilla met the White Flame, it changed her enough that she was able to go from the sweet, quiet and caring girl we see in Aretuza to the hardened mage we see in Cintra.

While she was in Aretuza, Fringilla was belittled and cast aside at every turn. She was told that no matter how talented she was, she would never be supported or taken seriously. Is it any surprise that she turned away from the Brotherhood completely and rejected their beliefs? They rejected her first.

Fringilla has a classic corruption arc, comparable to the likes of Eve Polastri, Will Graham, Anakin Skywalker and Morgana Pendragon. We don’t know what caused her journey from hero to villain in canon because it hasn’t been shown on screen, but I hope they do, it would be very interesting to know!

In the meantime, I love coming up with various theories as to what Fringilla went through in Nilfgaard and have fallen deeper in love with her character than ever.

#So I am an unashamed Fringilla stan #I love her so much #Also if you can't tell I love eve will and Anakin too #I would include Jonathon Sims as a corruption arc but it was basically corruption without him knowing #and I like Morgana but I don't love her like the others and also I was never super into Merlin #I watched it once #pretty good show #the witcher #fringilla #meta #myposts #tissaia #nilfgaard #aretuza #mages #worldbuilding #fringilla vigo

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