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ghost-proofbaby · 10 months

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you showed me colors (eddie munson x fem!reader)

"YOU SHOWED ME COLORS YOU KNOW I CAN'T SEE WITH ANYONE ELSE."

summary: the soulmate au based on "illicit affairs" by taylor swift that almost no one asked for.

warnings: ANGST, HURT/NO COMFORT, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, strategic use of pet names, allusions to sex but none described, reader is referred to as a girl a few times, no use of Y/N, canon compliant. not really edited (cause i'm not putting myself through this shit again).

wc: 15.1k+

a/n: im genuinely sorry for once. blame @abibliophobiaa and @breddiemunson for this. also, thank you @hellfire--cult for helping me with the header!!! please take all those warnings very seriously. please. (also shout out to ash who got her own divider sort of so she'd know when to stop reading because my baby doesn't like angst 😅)

The first thirteen years of your life, you only had second hand accounts to trust when it came to colors.

The sky is blue, soft and dreamy, nearly translucent until grey wisps of clouds would overrun it on stormy days (although, the clouds, you could make out). Most grass is green, verdant and rich as it sprouts from the hard dirt. Even the yellowing strands are most likely gorgeous, a sign of life and death, a sign that someone once stood atop the green and held their ground. Roses come in a rainbow of shades, but everyone seems to adore the staunch red ones the best. The plush pink of a lover’s kiss-bitten lips, the warm brown fur of the dogs you passed by on the street, the deep violet of the plums your mother proclaimed as her favorite fruit. A range of colors you had only ever heard of, never experienced yourself.

For thirteen years, all you had was stories. Nothing tangible, nothing solid in your palms. Mere crumbs of a promise of what you would have one day, when you met your soulmate.

When you met him.

It wasn’t the most pleasant of circumstances in which you two met. You’d spent a lot of your childhood fascinated with the concept and lost in daydreams about it – maybe they’d be a stranger you caught the eye of on the train, or maybe they’d be the one making your coffee at a quaint cafe in a big city someday. Whoever they would be, you wanted them to be made of all the fairytales. You wanted a meeting to challenge every romantic story you’d been fed through your youth, you wanted a love that would shake the very Earth you wandered from the first time your eyes met theirs.

Your reality seemed as far from earth-quake inducing as they could get, at the time. Looking back, though, you wish you could plead and change your youthful mind. Because the day wasn’t perfect, the situation was terrible shades of melancholy, but none of that really matters; what matters is that on that sunny Wednesday afternoon, you met him.

Scraped knees. You had scraped knees, sitting embarrassed and frazzled beneath a tree as you tried to sink into the shade surrounding its base and erase the memory of what had just transpired. You could still hear all the other kids’ taunts echoing through your mind, cruel and unnecessary words that were suited to follow you the rest of your days. Comments on your looks and teases of things you couldn’t change. Seeds of insecurity that were hard to swallow at the beginning of your teen youth.

You were still picking at the edges of your open wounds with slow drying tears still coating your cheeks when his shadow joined the tree’s.

“Are you alright?”

You looked up immediately to find a boy standing there. Your eyes had traveled slowly, taking in his baggy jeans with patchwork knees and his oversized faded t-shirt first. Even with the hand-me-down clothes, you could recognize his gangly limbs beneath it all. A frail frame and hunger-panged face. An overgrown buzz cut, no doubt prickly as the hairs stood to attention. Sunken in eyes brimming with concern for you. Whatever shade they were, they had to be dark; they were nearly black in the shades of grey your eyes could currently pick up on.

The thing about soulmates, is the colors don’t happen until you touch your soulmate.

“I’m fine,” you stubbornly replied, wrapping your arms around your shins and tucking your knees beneath your chin despite the sting.

“You don’t look fine.”

“Then stop looking.”

He threw his hands up defensively, shrugging a bony shoulder, “Sorry.”

He wasn’t sorry. Even with the wince that graced his face, he wasn’t sorry for checking in on you. You knew it the moment you caught the broken skin on his knuckles, nearly matching the cuts on your knees. You had fallen on the pavement as you’d tried to run away from the bullies, determined to not let them see you cry. The entire ordeal had been mortifying. You wished you would have just stood there and cried, let them hear your sobs and let them crown you the school’s newest crybaby.

“What happened to your hands?” you sniffled, moving to wipe at your nose. Your cheeks were drier now, the skin nearly stiff where the tears marks remained.

When you mentioned it, he suddenly shot his hands out before him, flexing each hand for emphasis as he looked down with boredom, “What? The cuts? Carver has sharp teeth, ‘s all.”

“Carver?” One of the kids who had just partaken in tormenting you.

“Yeah,” the boy nodded, suddenly plopping himself onto the ground beside you. You flinched and he grimaced in a silent apology once more, “I think he was in the middle of saying something when I punched him, but that’s not surprising. He always has his big mouth open-”

He was cut off mid-insult by a soft snort of laughter. Looking up, all of the previous annoyance at his injured knuckles melted away as he caught you fighting back your laughter.

“What? I say somethin’ funny?” he was biting back his own grin, raising an eyebrow.

You only laughed more, shoulders shaking now with entertainment rather than sobs. “I- Yeah, sorry, I just- God, you’re right. Carver does have a big mouth.”

“The absolute biggest.”

“Bigger than the Atlantic ocean.”

His chuckling joined yours, along with a face splitting grin and eyes that you swore shone between the monotonous tones. “God, bigger than the fucking Pacific ocean. Every ocean, as a matter of fact.”

You both leaned back against the rough bark of the tree, just close enough you could feel his heat through the summer air but not quite touching. Not yet. You let the back of your head thump against the trunk and tried to not think about any of the debris sure to end up in your hair.

“So…” you sighed once the two of you composed yourself from your laughing fits, “I’m assuming you punched Carver?”

He only nodded in answer.

“Can I ask why?”

Part of you wanted to assume that the two events were connected; Carver bullying you, and this boy punching him. But you didn’t want to make such a bold assumption about some stranger. Fellow peer or not.

“Because he made fun of you.”

The assumption wasn’t so bold. Your chest constricted, you remembered the sting of your knees, heard the echoes of the other students’ laughter at your fall once more.

“You punched him just because he made fun of me?” you tried to force out a joking tone, as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if it wasn’t making your heart swell, “You don’t even know me.”

“Doesn’t matter. He made fun of you,” the boy said with concrete decisiveness. There wasn’t a quiver of doubt to be seen, as if the logic made perfect sense to him. Your heart swelled more, painfully so. He looked down at one of his hands for a moment, before suddenly shrugging and rolling his head to look at you, sticking it out towards you, “I’m Eddie, by the way.”

A certain security blanketed the moment. This kid, Eddie, had punched a guy for making fun of you. You’d never even spoken to him before that day, much less would you have considered bruising your own knuckles for him. But he had for you. Without hesitation, apparently. Just some boy with a sliver of a gap still between his front teeth, a promise of freckles across the bridge of his nose, and blood on his hands as a reminder of your honor.

Teachers were certainly going to be coming to find the two of you soon. There would be consequences, most likely more on Eddie’s part than yours, but that didn’t matter. There, in the shade of an oak tree of a middle school you’d soon be departing only to join the ranks of some awful high school with bigger and badder bullies, with larger and crueler problems than skinned knees, you had a friend.

“I’m-” you started, reaching out your hand to meet his halfways. But you stopped, because the moment your palm met his, it happened. Suddenly, quickly, unexpectedly. It nearly gave you an instantaneous migraine; the flood of color was so overwhelming.

The first color you saw was the soft, whiskey brown of his eyes. Two warm and comforting orbs, blown out to be as wide as your own, as his face echoed back the same shell-shock on your own. His eyes were brown. Not grey, not black, but something more, something russet. Brown.

Colors. You were seeing colors for the first time. You both knew what it meant.

“You,” he breathed out with a boyish grin, letting you catch the pink of the tip of his tongue as he finished your introduction for you, both of your excitement buzzing in the breeze, “are my soulmate.”

—

Fifteen was the age of awkwardness. Thirteen had been awful, sure, full of changes and growth and such, but fifteen made it seem like a cake walk.

You wouldn’t have survived it without Eddie.

Two years into the friendship, the two of you were inseparable. You had always spent your entire childhood assuming that when you found your soulmate, it would all fall into place, romantically speaking. But then Eddie happened. Eddie, your soulmate, fell right into your lap and you realized all of your childish dreams were pale in comparison.

He was your best friend first and foremost. Even if he hadn’t been revealed as your soulmate on that day, you have no doubt that the trajectory of your friendship would have stayed on this path. From the beginning, both of you decided to Hell with society’s expectations of soulmates. Sure, most people didn’t find their soulmates until later in life, when it made sense for the sparks of romance to fly instantly, but the adults still seemed to expect that when the news broke. Your parents had been concerned, Eddie’s Uncle Wayne had been weary, your teachers had been blatantly confused.

It was fun for the two of you, though. The thrill of introducing each other as, “This is my best friend. Oh, also my soulmate, but, hey. Technicalities, am I right?”

Most of the kids in your grade hadn’t met their soulmates quite yet, especially those first few years. A sense of superiority sprouted in both of you to be able to know, to experience, to lavish in a world of color. To have the weight of finding your better part lifted off your shoulders so soon in life.

You and Eddie had an entire lifetime to figure out the romantic aspect of it all. For now, he was your best friend, and you were his, and that was enough.

Once you two had entered high school, one thing did become very clear: the parading of being soulmates had to cease.

Jason Carver had been enough of a menace in middle school, but grew into a fully formed monster once he joined your ranks in high school. People were not kind to Eddie – they hadn’t been in middle school, when he first moved to Hawkins, and they weren’t going to change their tune suddenly in high school. The bullying you had endured had begun to fade, but his age of torment had just begun.

You never once left his side. It didn’t matter to you if the entire school knew you were soulmates or not. It didn’t even matter that you two were soulmates; he was your best friend, and you would be damned before you left him to battle the tides alone.

“I hate this,” he mumbled as he sat on the toilet of his shared bathroom with Wayne in their trailer, you kneeling between his legs as you blotted at his split lip with an alcohol wipe, “I should have punched the asshole back.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” you scowled, furrowing your brows even deeper in concentration, “And stop talking – you’re making it worse.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but you quieted him with a glare.

Just as you wouldn’t have survived the Age of Awkwardness without Eddie, he wouldn’t have survived it without you.

You finished cleaning off the dried blood before tossing the wipe into the overfilled trash can, sighing heavily as you fell back onto the ground and supported yourself against the wall opposite of him.

You leveled each other into a staring contest, eyes blankly boring into each other with emotionless expressions.

“You’re lucky Wayne isn’t home, y’know,” you finally broke the silence, shooting a hand out to grab his ankle and give it a squeeze, “He’d probably be driving down to the school right now and-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie waved you off, shaking his head, “I know. Trust me, I know. I think Principal Higgins is starting to hate him more than he hates me.”

“Principal Higgins doesn’t hate you.”

“You’re right – he loathes me.”

The hand that was squeezing his ankle quickly traveled up to his knee to slap it, “Eddie.”

He raised his hands up in the air, lifting his brows for emphasis as he exclaimed, “What? You know I’m right, kid.”

Kid. The loving nickname Eddie had adorned you with the moment he found out he was a mere six months older than you. You hated it, and he loved that you hated it.

“The day you’re right is the day pigs fly, old man.”

Old man. The nickname that served as your attempt at a rebuttal. It didn’t work, not as intended.

He chuckled softly at that, as he usually does when you call him that, and only smacked his palms onto his thighs, “Well, doc, I must say – you’ve done an exquisite job. Am I free to go?”

You tried to fight your smile, tried to linger in the anger sparked from seeing Eddie hurt. Your disdain wasn’t directed at him; it was always a loaded gun pointed at whoever dared to lay a hand on your boy. You probably could have had a spotless reputation without Eddie Munson in your life, but you’d found your fists quick to fly in his defense.

Your parents hated it. Wayne secretly adored it, even when he’d still join in scolding you and Eddie alike on avoiding violence.

“Sure,” you shrugged, before grabbing his calves through denim to stop him. Dark blue denim, a deep shade of navy that you still hadn’t grown used to seeing. You hadn’t even realized jeans came in so many different shades until you met Eddie, and you’d always chastised him when he’d opt for a boring black pair, “But first, a payment is required.”

“A payment?” Eddie tilted his head, looking down at you curiously.

“A payment.”

“And what would this payment be?”

“A movie night,” you grinned wildly, finally letting your grip on him go, taking in the chestnut highlights of his curls and the red font of his t-shirt, a band shirt you’d never heard of but that he had recently gotten into, “Snacks provided by my loving host, you, of course.”

He exaggerated his pondering, bringing a hand to his chin, stroking dramatically. As if he was ever capable of saying no to you.

“Hm,” he hummed, his voice echoing through the tiny space and encasing you in warmth. As serene as that first summer day when he’d taken the leap of sitting down next to you in the grass, back to a tree, palm in your palm as colors had swarmed your vision, “I suppose that can be arranged.”

—

Movie nights were a frequent occurrence. A sanctuary from the shit show of your small town. Sometimes, they had been the illusion of a bargain like that night, and others, they were an unspoken agreement. You’d show up to Eddie’s trailer or he would end up on your doorstep, your favorite candies in hand, and the two of you would just know. No words needed as you’d situate yourself on whoever’s couch, legs intertwining and blankets shared across laps. A bowl of popcorn that usually ended up being spilled inevitably.

Movies were more fun in color. Some of your friends didn’t get it, still living in a world of black and white, but Eddie loved to listen to your rambles about how the vivid shades appeared across the screen. He loved the way your eyes would light up passionately, he loved how you still smiled so widely at special effects that were made more poignant by this gift the two of you had been given.

Time. You two had been given the time most soulmates weren’t allotted. A gift you always thanked the Universe for.

The latest Slasher film that had been released was currently displayed on the small television in Eddie’s living room, the two of you practically molded to the worn cushions of his sofa. Wayne had left within the first ten minutes for his shift, bidding the two of you a farewell with the warning of behaving. Vibrant reds splashed across the screen as one of the protagonists takes a stabbing, and while you should be shying away from the gruesome scene, you can’t help but stare in awe.

Even after years of experiencing colors, they took away your breath.

“Jesus,” you sighed wistfully, “How do they even make the fake blood? It’s so… so…”

“Red?” Eddie laughed from the other side of the couch, prodding at your thigh with his sock clad foot, “Probably food dye. Maybe some corn syrup.”

“It’s just so bright,” you eagerly leaned in closer to the TV, squinting with a wide smile, unaware of his stare.

He was quiet for a moment, simply enjoying your joy. Your awe and wonder at the world, the way it seemed as if you two had just met that day rather than years before. As if colors were still a fascinating color to you. Eddie had grown used to them, let them become a part of his daily routine, but you always seemed to shine a new light on them for him.

Around you, all the colors seemed a little bit brighter.

“How do you do that?” he whispered so softly, it nearly got lost in the noise of the movie’s climax.

You hummed in response, eyes never leaving the screen. You were watching the movie in fascination, and he was watching you in serenity.

His miracle. His gift. His soulmate.

“You just…” he trailed off, no longer caring about the movie, “You always treat them like they’re brand new.”

It caught your attention. The way his tone was so… velvety, so caring, so affectionate. You looked at him, “I treat what like they’re brand new?”

“The colors.”

“Because they are.”

The same assuredness as he used that very first day. As if it were obvious, as if it were simply a matter of fact and not such an endearing trait. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and it only made his heart clench tighter.

You were his soulmate.

“We lived without them for thirteen years, old man-”

“Thirteen years and six months, in my case,” he piped up in interruption, wearing a Cheshire grin.

You nodded and rolled your eyes, “Yes, in your case. Thirteen years, give or take. I just… I don’t know. They still… they still get to me. I don’t think I can ever get used to them. Are you?”

“What? Used to them?”

“Yeah.”

He didn’t know how to explain it to you, not at that moment. How could he articulate to you that after so many years, the colors had dulled ever so slightly? The novelty had worn off, had run its course. The only time they’d ever become as vivacious as the first time was when he looked at you.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t explain it to you, so he only shrugged, “I guess.”

I guess, except when I see the color of your eyes, and I realize they’re my favorite color. Except when I notice the varied shades of your hair, and realize how lucky I am to see them in their full glory rather than shades of grey. Except when you wear that favorite mauve lipstick of yours, and I can’t get over the shape of your lips. Except when you wear that pretty red dress, and your confidence has my head spinning.

I guess, except when it’s you.

“Well, that’s just sad,” you huffed, focusing back on the movie after kicking gently at his shin. You lapsed into a comforting silence for a few more minutes, letting the movie fill the air. The same cycle; you watched the screen, he watched you, and the Universe watched both of you with a smile as it knew that the right choice had been made. The two of you were meant for each other. In this life. In the past lives. In the next lives. The two of you were the epitome of soulmates, even if the concept had never existed before.

Thank the Universe it existed. Thank the Universe that he found you that day, below an oak tree, scraped knees and all.

His voice shook as he quietly confessed, “I love you, you know that, right?”

The movie faded in a blur for you instantly. Your neck could have snapped from how quickly you turned your attention to him. “What?”

“I love you,” his voice continued its waver, not from being unsure but from pure emotion. The flood of love that pulsed through his veins currently.

You smiled, the apples of your cheeks punctuated and the chip in your tooth from your youth he hadn’t had the privilege of being apart of on showcase, “Well, yeah. Duh. I’m your soulmate. You kind of have to love me.”

“Even if we weren’t soulmates,” he rushed to clarify, suddenly leaning forward and grabbing your knee beneath blankets that smelled of home, “Even if you weren’t my soulmate, I would love you.”

Your face softened. He wished he would have kissed you in that moment.

But the vulnerability was terrifying, and all that could echo through your mind is the fact that you two had time. So instead of matching his serious tone, you joked, “Well, it’s a good thing I am your soulmate, then. It might have been awkward for your hypothetically soulmate you would have had instead in that scenario, trying to explain why you love your best friend more than them.”

“Shut up,” he laughed, squeezing your knee tighter, “I’m being serious, kid. I love you. I really, really fuckin’ love you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You’re only saying that because I’m the reason you see colors.”

“Fuck the colors,” he was quick to reply, “The Universe can take back the colors, as long as I still have you.”

There it is. The earthquake you dreamt of as a little girl. The trailer’s across the park never felt it, the kids surely getting into trouble in the forest behind Eddie’s home didn’t notice it, but you felt it. A rumble through your chest, a groundbreaking discovery, a world-ending confession. Your world began, and your world ended, and your world restarted with Eddie Munson.

“You don’t believe me,” he noted, suddenly shimmying out from beneath the blanket.

“Wait, hold on-”

“Stay here.”

You stayed frozen in your seat, wide eyes following his broad back and the army green of his t-shirt. No longer a frail frame, face filling out with puberty. He was becoming a man. No longer the young boy who took punches and threw them back twice as hard.

He was becoming a man, he was your soulmate, and he loved you. He loved you enough he would give up what everyone else considered the greatest gift, just for you.

Eddie Munson didn’t need colors to love you so ardently. And you knew, at that moment, that the same could be said for you. You would have loved him no matter what. The moment his shadow had spread over you beneath wide leaves and simmering heat, he was destined to hole up in your heart, never to leave again.

By the time he had returned to the living room, you had paused the movie, eyes locked on where he emerged from the hallway with a polaroid camera in hand and a mischievous grin gracing his features. The camera had been a joint gift from your parents and his uncle the previous Christmas.

Your eyes weren’t on the camera. They were on him. His hair had grown over the years, wild auburn curls finally surpassing his ears. The awkward style made for ridiculous bed head, something you’d been witness to many mornings after impromptu sleepovers.

You were fascinated with the way the sunlight caught each strand as they bounced with his eager steps. The trace of gold you could outline. Shades of autumn you loved to run your fingers through when he’d offer the opportunity.

He shook the camera into the air for emphasis, finally catching your eyes’ attention, before he propelled himself back down onto the couch across from you, both of you sitting up instead of being reclined now. “Let me show you something.”

“O-Okay,” you stuttered out, unsure.

He fiddled with the camera for a few moments before he brought it up to his face, resting against his cheek as his eye peered into the small peephole. You were so busy memorizing him like that, that the flash of the camera took you off guard and effectively blinded you for a few seconds.

“What the-” you started with a scowl, hands flying up to rub your knuckles into your eyes in a sorry attempt to rush away the stars blocking your vision.

“Just wait,” he insisted, snatching up the polaroid the moment it printed from the camera. When you flashed him an unconvinced look, he continued on, “Trust me.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. You always trusted him with your entire being, whether for better or for worse.

The polaroid was slow in developing. Eddie hummed to fill the silence, occasionally fanning around the small capture of you that was slowly filling out in color rather than blinding white. You spent your energy on trying to decipher what song was stuck in his head and not focus on how slow those damned photos always seemed to be in coming to fruition.

It had only been a few minutes, but it had felt like an eternity when you finally gave up on figuring out the song and succumbing to your impatience with a sigh, “This is the world’s slowest magic trick ever.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, but tossed you the camera. You thanked the Heavens for fast reflexes as you were able to catch it rather than let it fall to the ground. The two of you would have never heard the end of it if you managed to break such an expensive gift.

“Hey!” you shouted as you clutched the camera tightly to your chest, “Be careful with this thing, Eddie. It’s fragile.”

His eyebrows raised from behind where he held up the polaroid he took of you to his face, “Is it? Can we really be sure that it’s that fragile if we don’t knock it around for good measure?”

“We can,” you snappily replied, glaring down at the camera and fighting amusement, “If you want to throw it around, be my guest. But you’ll explain to Wayne why you broke it – not me.”

“Of course, kid,” he grinned so wide that it spread to his cheeks peeking out either side of the photo still obnoxiously close to his face, “What else is a best friend good for? Basically signed up to be your permanent scapegoat until the end of time the moment I gave you the gift of colors.”

“And yet, I’m the one usually talking us out of trouble,” you dramatically called back, finally looking up at him and holding up the camera, “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“I dunno. Break it, take a picture of me. The choice is yours, sweetheart.”

He still hadn’t put the photo of you down, so you finally reached across the sea of blankets to yank on his forearms. Once you were faced once more with those warm doe eyes rather than the blank back of a photo, you narrowed your eyes at him in indecision.

He was still smirking. Wide enough that his teeth just barely peeked out between his barely parted lips. You recalled the tales of kiss-bitten lips, the way you’d heard adults describe that deeper shade of pink, and for a second, you considered that it would look good on Eddie. Something about imagining him flushed and bruised by love and lust rather than malice made your gut twist stormily.

“Picture it is,” you muttered, “Put that stupid polaroid down and smile for the camera, pretty boy.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

The camera went off mid-teasing, his dimples on full display and eyes shining wonderfully with the flash of the camera.

“Nope,” you mumbled, “Just said it so you’d keep smiling.”

It was a lie. A horrible, pathetic, and badly-veiled lie.

The photos developed faster. Yours is finally in full color and detail by the time the two of you can make out the shape of Eddie in his, and he was quick to toss it to the side before he shoved yours into your lap.

“There, look.”

It wasn’t anything magnificent to look at. Just another photo. The same old color of your hair, baby hairs frizzing at the edges. Same old eyes fighting from crinkling in adornment at the boy before you. You weren’t anything special, not in your eyes. But Eddie’s expectant stare told you that there had to be something more there, something he was waiting for you to pick up on. You scoured the background of the photo for pops of color only to come up empty-handed. All you could find were the tired dark tones of the Munson’s furniture and living room behind yourself in the picture.

“Eddie, what am I supposed to be looking at?” you squinted, bringing the photo closer and trying to figure out the useless puzzle he had presented you with, “It’s just a picture of me-”

“Exactly,” he interrupted, “A picture of you. My soulmate. That right there,” he leaned over and plucked the photo from your hands, holding it up tauntingly just out of reach, “Is a picture of the girl I love. A picture of the one person who makes colors worth seeing, and makes colors worth losing.”

The sentiment had you choked up.

“You’re my favorite person,” his voice dropped to a whisper, and he held up his hand with his knuckles facing you as he put down the polaroid in his lap, “Have been since that very first day.”

There was still a faint scar, right there, clear as day. It casted over the knuckles of his ring and middle finger as a permanent reminder of that fateful day. As if the colors weren’t enough, as if the swell of your heart inside your chest wasn’t enough reminder of the love and care you’d always felt pulsing from Eddie.

You reached out to the coffee table suddenly, picking up the photo of him, glad to see it finally developed. You didn’t even glance at it before you held it up to him, “And this is a photo of my favorite person.”

“You didn’t even look at the picture.”

“I don’t need to,” you breathed out, moving the picture out of your vision to look at him dead in the eyes, “He’s right here in front of me. In full color, treating me far kinder than I deserve.”

His touch was ginger as he pinched the corner of the photo and took it from your grasp, placing it down atop the polaroid of you, “Don’t do that. You always deserve my kindness – you deserve the entire world’s kindness. I’ll kick the ass of anyone who argues otherwise.”

A soft and shy smile ripped at your lips, made the corners and your cheeks ache as you shrugged, “Whatever you say, old man.”

He only looked at you, only wore the lovesick look of a man face-to-face with his soulmate.

The movie was long forgotten. All snacks carefully put on the table before Eddie threw the blanket off of the two of you and scooted backwards while leaving a space large enough for you between his legs.

“C’mere,” he beckoned, motioning for you to crawl forward and fit your head to his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. He pressed you impossibly close to him, until your cheek was tight to his t-shirt and your ear was thundering with his racing heartbeat.

You melted into him easily, letting your own arms encase him to the best of their abilities in this position. You took a few selfish moments to just be there with him, to just let his words sink in beneath your skin and the reality of them weigh heavy on you. The heavier it weighed, the further into his embrace you pressed.

The warmth of serenity and peacefulness of the picture perfect moment nearly lulled you to sleep. But even in the drowsiness, you felt the kiss he pressed to the crown of your head.

“I love you, too,” you admitted, muffled by his chest. You hoped he felt the words and wouldn’t teasingly make you look him in his eyes as you confessed, “I love you so fucking much. I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Sure you could-” he began, but was cut off but the abrupt lifting of your head, just as he fingertips had started on a path down your spine.

“I couldn’t,” you insisted, “I really, really couldn’t. I need you to stick around for a long time, Munson. I’m not in the business of losing my soulmate until we’re old and grey and gross. I want to keep you around until I lose count of all your wrinkles and weird moles.”

He chuckled, and the force vibrated against your shoulder digging into his torso.

You retrieved those two polaroids before you resettled against him, your back now pressed to his chest as you held the two snapshots side by side for both of you to look out.

He was right. You think you get it.

When you look at the photo of yourself, you see nothing extraordinary. But when you look at the photo of Eddie, everything just… the world seemingly stops, all moving parts suddenly snapping into place. A boy vibrant with color and glee, a boy who tugged on every heartstring you’d hung in your chest throughout your lifetime. It sent warmth to every crevice of you, from the top of your head where the ghost of his lips still lingered to the tips of your toes wiggling beside his within thick socks.

It’s more than an earthquake or the world stopping. Eddie doesn’t just stop or begin your world – he is your world.

A world of wild hair, charming smiles, unfiltered laughter and fierce adoration. Even the brightest shades out there that you had yet to discover were dim compared to the boy photographed in time for you.

His arms slide around your shoulders, tugging you in even closer,“Just out of curiosity, what is your cap on wrinkles you can count? Because I’ve seen Wayne, and some photos of my old man, and let me tell you – time is not kind to us Munson men.”

You rolled your head and pressed a kiss to one of his forearms before smashing your cheek into it, breathing deeply as his fingertips drew random shapes over the spot on your chest that your heart rests beneath.

“As many as it takes, old man.”

“Whatever you say, kid.”

You brought a hand up to curl around the arm, right beside when you kept your cheek nuzzled. He finally laid his palm flat against your chest, and you wonder if he can feel the way each beat of your heart called out his name. It was okay if he didn’t – he had all the time in the world to figure it out.

—

“I just don’t understand why you’re so mad!”

“I’m not mad, Eddie – I’m fucking pissed!”

“Okay, then I don’t understand why you’re so pissed!”

Seventeen is the age of being reckless and redundant. Of big feelings and reckless decisions. It is the time in your life for being an absolute idiot.

Eddie Munson was proof of it as the two of you stood outside of his van, the whistle of the winds around you two from the impending storm lost on your current screaming match.

“Figure it out,” you seethed, stomping your feet almost childishly as you began to turn away from him, “And while you do that, leave me the fuck alone.”

“I- Hey!” he reached out for you, but you’re already quickening your pace and hopping up onto the sidewalk, “Hey! Don’t fucking walk away from me!”

You didn’t reply, only widening your strides.

He called out your name, and you heard his frustrated groan before he easily caught up with you.

Damn him and his newfound height.

“Would you just listen to me?” he shouted, latching onto your bicep and spinning you around harshly to face him.

You yanked yourself out of his touch quickly, eyes blazing, “Why should I? I’ve seen what I needed to see, Eddie. Just go back inside to your preppy girlfriend. Forget about me. Pretend like she’s never stood to the side while her boyfriend bullied you like- like- like some asshole.”

His hair was longer now. Ringlets that cascaded to brush over the top of his shoulders – shoulders that had broadened impressively as he neared the end of his youth. His newest clothing staple covered them; a denim vest you’d helped him distress and sew multitudes of patches onto, a display of his favorite bands that had only painted a new target onto his back.

Satan worshiper. That’s what they called your soulmate in terrified whispers amongst the halls at school. That’s what all the PTO mothers’ eyes silently cursed when they’d see him with you at the grocery store.

He’d made quite the image for himself. And you’d stayed by his side, defending his honor at every chance. Your best friend, your soulmate.

Only to find him eating the face off of some cheerleader at that goddamned party.

Yeah, you didn’t need to listen to him. You really had seen enough.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” he waved his arms wildly, the storm roaring loader with his increased volume.

“What is she then?” you insisted with venom, crossing your arms and effectively closing yourself off from him as you took another step back, “Just some one night stand? Some fun to have before you have to accept that you’re shackled to me for the rest of your life?”

You hated the way your eyes burned. You cursed the tears gathering as you glared at him viciously, masking all the pain with as much rage as you could muster.

He wouldn’t even kiss you, his soulmate. But he would kiss her.

“Stop putting words in my mouth,” he warned lowly, tone no longer making a spectacle of the two of you, “You know that’s not how I see it.”

“You won’t even kiss me.”

He was stunned into silence. As you spat out the words, the first few tears slipped.

It was about more than the pretty blonde girl you’d found him with. It was about more than the fact he was kissing someone else.

“I… What?” he whispered, his entire body going slack with defeat.

The tears fell more rapidly now as you replayed the moment in your head. The two of you were only at the stupid party for Eddie to deal weed from some weird guy he’d met in the arcade, a way to make extra cash. Cash he claimed he was putting towards your future together. You had no idea how you’d gone from sitting on the couch together to tipsy, joining a circle of fellow peers who momentarily forgot their cruelness between shots of whiskey and pours of vodka.

You were going to hate the game of Spin the Bottle for the rest of your life. You were sure of it.

When Eddie’s turn had arrived, when the neck of that dingy beer bottle casted shades of ambers in your direction, you had been so excited. Your heart had been in your throat, your head dizzy with the excitement of him finally kissing you. Your soulmate by Nature, your best friend by choice, finally would be kissing you. You had been so sure it was an affirmation from the Universe that the right choice had been made when it came to the two of you. That it was all real, and the colors weren’t a product of your delusion.

And then he said no.

“You wouldn’t kiss me,” you choked out, pulling your arms around your torso tighter to fight back any shivers or shaking, “The bottle landed on me, on your soulmate, and you wouldn’t even fucking kiss me. The one person you should have kissed. And you didn’t.”

Eddie’s eyes widened in shock, a deer caught in your headlights, as he started to stutter out a sorry excuse.

You didn’t want to hear it. You only threw your head back in bitter laughter, spinning on your heel and preparing to leave him behind once more.

“Wait,” he begged, grabbing your shoulder this time.

You shrugged it off harshly, “For what? For you to make up some bullshit excuse for it? I don’t want to hear it, Eddie. I get it. I’m so sorry that I’m your soulmate. I’m so sorry you’re stuck with me. I’m so-”

He cut you off by rounding in front of you, blocking your escape route and cradling each of your cheeks with determination as he forced you to meet his fiery gaze, “Stop putting words in my mouth! That’s not why I did it, okay? It’s not!”

Your tears fell more rapidly, so quickly that his thumbs couldn’t have kept up with swiping them away if he tried. Instead, he let them puddle against his palms, focus solely on your eyes as he bore into them and whispered, “That’s not why I said no. And it’s not why I kissed that girl, okay? You’ve got to believe me, kid.”

“Don’t-” you started, but he shook his head, determined.

“No, no. Hear me out. Please. You know I don’t see it that way. You- You’re- I’m not shackled to you. You aren’t some sort of damnation for me. Do you get that? You aren’t some life sentence or burden – you’re….” he trailed off, and you could see the tears gathering in his eyes. Constellations in his lashes to match your own. “I said no because I’m terrified. O-Okay? I said no to kissing you because… because… what if you’re the one shackled to me?”

The crack in his voice reverberated through you. Aftershocks rattled your bones at his confession.

“I- We haven’t crossed that line. And I just… if I crossed that line, and if you decided I wasn’t what you wanted…” his eyes searched yours for answers you couldn’t provide to him, not as your brows creased and your chest tightened, “If I kissed you and you decided that the Universe made a mistake, that I’m not actually your soulmate… I- Fuck, I couldn’t take that, kid. I couldn’t.”

You’re no longer poised to run, to escape him and all the emotions drowning your lungs. You felt your shoulders drop, your defenses burned to ash as you stood with two solid feet on the quivering ground below you.

There were a million reassurances on the tip of your tongue, but instead you only said, “Why did you kiss her?”

The question that had pinned you as a flight risk. Because if what he told you was true, and you did believe him, then it didn’t make sense. Nothing that had happened that night made sense if what he said was true.

“I don’t know,” he seemed even more confused than you, “And- God, I’m fucking sorry for such a shitty cop-out of an answer. But I just… I don’t know. I just did. She was there, and she kissed me, and I kissed back. I pretended she was you, like a fucking idiot.”

The honesty threatened to shatter you, but you decided it was better to hear his truth than risk being lied to. You could move past the anguish in both your eyes, the confusion and the hurt having brewed – you wouldn’t have been able to move past some half-assed lie in an attempt to save your feelings.

“I regret it,” he whispered, “The moment I kissed her back, I regretted it.”

“Why?”

An opportunity to seal a bandage over the bleeding wound. A chance for him to make it all better.

“Because she isn’t you. She isn’t my soulmate - she never could be. It’s you, and it was always going to be you, even if the Universe didn’t agree with me.”

You took a moment to try and picture a world in which the man stood before you wasn’t your soulmate. A world where your palms touched, and your world hadn’t exploded in technicolor. Another Universe where the first color you had seen hadn’t been warm, brown, honey coated eyes. A twisted timeline where you hadn’t been awarded the gift of memorizing the red of his guitar, his sweetheart, or the calm blue tint his room bathed in every early morning. A world where you don’t know the shade his skin turns in during golden hour, or can’t see the way his few tattoos he’d gathered in the past year on his skin are actually a fading shade of blue-green rather than stark black. A world where you couldn’t pick up the Fruity Pebbles stuck between his teeth as he rushed to class late and you teased him mercilessly for it. A world without color - a world without the guarantee of Eddie Munson.

A breeze roared by, and you could hear the Universe you were in whispering to stop it, to not do this. Because you weren’t living in a world without color. Your world had burst to life when your palm met his. You knew all the colors of his lifeline like the back of your hand.

“It wasn’t worth it?” You knew the answer. You still needed to hear him say it.

And say it he did, nodding in confirmation, “It wasn’t worth it. She wasn’t worth it.”

He could have left it at that and you would have offered him your forgiveness anyways. Even if the bond formed between you two didn’t feel like a shackle of chains binding you two together, you knew that there would always be an invisible string wound around your soul and connected to his. You could have spent longer being mad, you could have still walked yourself home and left him broken in the middle of that neighborhood street. But even if you did, you would have eventually found your way back to him. Whether you left in anger, whether you left in sadness, whether you left in mourning – your final destination remained the same. Him.

You may have all the time in the world with Eddie, but even a second spent upset with him felt like a second wasted.

Not even forever felt like long enough. You knew that now, glaringly obvious by the chain of events the night had followed.

And so he could have left it at that. And all would be well. Wounds would heal and time would soothe the ache that echoed. But he didn’t.

He took a step closer. Took a shaky, deep breath. And then another step. One foot after the other until he was toe-to-toe with you as he breathed out, “You’re my future. You’re everything to me. Soulmate or not, you’re all I want. I want to grow old with you until I lose count of your wrinkles, and then some.”

His chin tilted down, lips daring closer and closer to yours as your stare into his eyes refused to waver.

Deep, deep brown. Endless, molten, a kind of comforting that says you’re home, you can rest now. How fortunate you were to see the twisting of lively carob and umber rather than lifeless greys.

Your eyes tried to flutter close, but you couldn’t let them, not yet. Not until he was close enough to feel his breath on your chin before he let out a raspy, “Baby.”

You folded immediately, took the plunge as your eyes finally shut and you pressed forward with fervent.

It wasn’t like the movies. It wasn’t fluid and instantaneous. There was hesitancy and there was awkwardness, and your noses bumped one anothers hard enough to make both of you chuckle into the rarity of space left between your mouths as you both gasped in waves of air before returning to one another. His hand took its time before it grabbed your waist, and it trembled the entire time. Your arms shook the entire way they lifted until they wrapped around his neck and shoulders, unsure of where exactly to lay comfortably.

But none of that mattered. Because he was kissing you – your soulmate was finally kissing you. And you had never kissed another soul before that night, but you knew immediately you’d never want to kiss another soul.

It wasn’t like the movies or fairy tales, but it was enough.

And you knew he felt the same way when the kiss was broken by the grin that split his lips just as the sky began to spit out the beginning of its inevitable downpour.

—

You hadn’t heard from Eddie in three days. Which, fair enough. Finals season was nearly upon you two and you knew he had been stressed. Since the night of that party nearly a year before, you two had become even more inseparable if possible. You two had finally crossed a line, had finally accepted your status of soulmates, and no one would dare to demand the two of you detach from each other’s sides once you made the announcement that you were officially together.

Wayne had worn a knowing smile. Your parents had simply warned Eddie to not hurt you (as if that was even an option for him at this point). Even Principal Higgins had offered a polite smile when he caught you two holding hands in the hallway, surprisingly not commenting on the public display of affection. You two were officially dating, officially succumbing to the status quo of what soulmates should be.

Everyone had already sort of known there was something there between you two, but making it official removed any sliver of doubt any of them may have harbored.

And so it was fine if Eddie needed space. It had been that way before your first kiss, occasionally learning how to stand as your own entities rather than solely a joint force, and it could continue to be that way after your first kiss.

But after three days, you had started to worry.

Pacing your room, you told yourself you were being ridiculous. This was fine. Space was good – space was needed.

Space didn’t help with all your what-ifs, though.

What if he was hurt? What if he was sick? What if he was mad at you? What if the longer you gave him that space, the starcher of a revelation he would have that he didn’t need you? What if the two of you had flown into all of this too fast, too quickly, too soon? It may have taken years to get there, but what if Eddie suddenly decided the last year had been too much?

You were in your car, driving recklessly down the streets that would lead to his house, before you could even think of another what if.

If it was that last thought that crossed your mind, if everything between the two of you had become simply overwhelming for him, you convinced yourself it would be okay. It would be just fine, you could handle it as long as he told you as much to your face rather than hiding behind distance put between you. It remained a mantra spinning through your storming mind the entire drive; it will be fine. It will be okay. As long as he says it, I can handle it. Anything for him.

You never considered that one of the other possibilities was more likely. Not until you had your car haphazardly parked in front of the Munson’s trailer, fist banging on their front door before Wayne threw it open with tired eyes and wrinkles bunched in concern.

“Is he here?” you breathed out in lieu of a proper greeting, breathless from your jog up to the damn porch from your car that you hadn’t even bothered with locking up.

It will be fine. It will be okay. As long as he says it, I can handle it.

Wayne understood immediately, stepping to the side as he nodded and motioned for you to come in, “He’s in his room. But listen, he got some news, and he’s not do-”

You didn’t hear the rest of Wayne’s warning, too busy storming past him and flying to Eddie’s bedroom door. You didn’t even knock, bursting through the door and already fighting tears as you geared up to hear Eddie say that he needed time and space, that he had gotten sick of you, that he wanted to experience more life before you guys really gave any of this a fighting chance.

“Eddie, can you please tell me why you’ve just up and disappeared-” you cut off your plead the moment you laid eyes on him.

He wasn’t facing the door. He was curled up in bed, back to you, clad in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers. You could see the stubborn knots that had built up in his hair, immediately keyed in on the way he was trying to collapse into himself. His knees were nearly buried in his chest, and if you squinted into the dark room, you’d see the outline of his spine beneath the flash of skin peaking out from where the back of his shirt had raised.

It wasn’t just the state of him; the state of the room also immediately silenced you.

Almost as if a war path had been torn through it days before, the bedroom was messier than normal. Eddie was never the most organized or pristine person, but he kept his living space well enough to… well, live. Kept the floor always within sight, tried to never let any collection of trash overflow on the tops of his dressers or desk. He even found himself emptying his ashtrays without your reminding most of the time. Usually, most of the clutter simply came from mountains of papers detailing campaigns or writing new songs, or different sets of dice being left out from planning said campaigns. A t-shirt here, a pair of ripped jeans there – sure. He was a teenage boy. It was expected.

It looked as though a level five hurricane had hit Eddie Munson’s room.

Clothes strewn everywhere, dresser drawers thrown open and never closed. Beer cans collected across each surface and both ashtrays were overfilling with cigarette butts. You even spotted two half smoked joints on his bedside table. His sweetheart had been taken off of its wall mount and laid to rest on the floor. He would never have let his prized possession be discarded like that. Ever.

Your voice came out weak as you took a step closer to the bed, “Eddie?”

You’re surprised he heard your whisper. He stirred, and your eyes followed the dust particles dancing in the single stream of sunlight that was bursting through a hole forgotten in his makeshift curtains. Navy blue sheets the two of you once used to make a pillow fort in the Munson living room, thinned to the illusion of a sky blue in some patches.

You’d always warned him they make shit curtains; he’d always shrugged and said it added to his feng shui.

“Eddie,” you whispered again, knees knocking against the edge of the mattress as you looked down at his broken form, “I… What happened? Are you… are you okay?”

You hadn’t known how to approach it. Whatever happened was even worse than the first time he’d received a phone call from his dad in prison.

He mumbled something against the pillow he has one arm curled under.

“What?” you questioned, nearly ready to climb into that damn bed and force him onto his back, force him to look at you if only so you could guarantee there were no tear tracks on his cheeks.

You don’t have to, though. Eddie finally loosened his grip on that pillow and rolls ever so slightly, just enough for you to see half his face and feel your heart break at the confirmation of tears. Translucent pink eyes, glossy wet cheeks, the tip of his nose glowing as his gaze met yours. He looked tired.

“I’m getting held back,” he croaked, “I fucking- I flunked. I’m not graduating.”

You nearly sighed in relief. For his sake, you don’t, but the weight on your shoulders lifted immediately.

“Oh, sweet boy,” you murmured, giving into the need to crawl into the bed. You folded your knees as you situated yourself on the bed behind him, and the moment you’re situated, he wasted no time twisting himself to face you and bury his face into your side, “Why didn’t you call? You had me losing my goddamn mind-“

A strangled sob rattled against your side. One of his hands gripped your thigh, fingertips holding on for dear life, “Because your soulmate is a fucking loser.”

Your chest cracked further, a valley beginning to form as a hand buried into the back of his head, holding him to you as the other hand moved to rub his back in soothing motions.

“My soulmate is not a fucking loser,” you tried to keep a gentle tone rather than scold him at the moment. He didn’t need scolding — he needed patience, he needed care, he just needed you to be there, “Keep talking about him that way, and I’ll have to get the fighting gloves.”

He wetly laughed into your t-shirt, and you were sure that there would be tear stains when he finally lifted his head, “I’m the one who taught you how to throw a punch, baby.”

“Exactly. Which means I’ll have you on your ass in ten seconds flat.”

It was a few minutes of silence that followed; just you holding him, just him clinging onto you. His life line — his single ship of hope in what had been a terribly rocky sea the last few days. An irreplaceable peace settled across all the wounds and damage that had been done in private. You had been right. He should have called you immediately. He should have known that if anyone could make the situation feel less like his world was ending, it was you.

His soulmate.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you questioned in a soft, lulling tone. The endless patterns you’d drawn on his back had nearly put him to sleep, “Maybe be a bit kinder to yourself this time?”

“I just…” he started, finally removing his face from being buried against you, “I sort of had a hunch. O’Donnel wouldn’t round my grade, you know? And I’ve skipped a lot of classes, I know. But hearing Higgins say it just… just…”

“Made it real?” you offered a weary ending to his sentence.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Real. It made it really fucking real.”

He didn’t feel judged at that moment. He felt seen as you continued on, “It is real, and it sucks. But it’ll be okay, Eds. I mean, I was already planning on the community college for my first year, maybe even taking a year off. If you need any help with classes, you just gotta ask me. Don’t forget I was one of O'Donnell's pets, as unfortunate as it was. I know how to work that woman into rounding up some grade.”

You rambled on a little more, all the while still stroking his hair and back, offering even more solutions. The longer you spoke, the better Eddie felt. You made it all sound so easy — like this was nothing, like it was the smallest of blips in plans that had been years in the making. You weren’t upset, you weren’t disappointed. He deserved your negativity, and instead only received your optimism.

You were with him for the long haul, he realized. Truly. It wasn’t just some one off promise or chain of the Universe holding you to him. He wasn’t dragging you down.

When you finally trailed off, his lids finally heavier than his heart, he sighed, “I love you. You know that?”

“I love you,” you smiled, “That’s kind of part of the soulmate package, isn’t it?”

“Fuck the soulmate part,” he lifted out of your hold despite everything in him screaming to stay put, to let you to continue to coddle him, “I’ve seen plenty of people be shitty to their soulmates. I watched my dad-“ he cut himself off, throat tightening with memories of his parents. You don’t make him finish that sentence, only nodding in understanding, “The Universe doesn’t force you to be a good person. You choose to be that. Every single day, you choose to stand by my side. You always have. You could have made me feel shitty about this, could have let me see how bummed you really are about sticking out another year here, but…”

But you didn’t.

Your eyes softened, a stormy shade of his favorite color, “Do you remember the way you punched Carver that day, before you even knew me?”

That very first day. The day two souls destined to intertwine had come in contact. The day the Universe had sighed in relief as your palm met his.

He nodded.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you whispered, “You didn’t even know me. And yeah, whatever, maybe the Universe nudged you to do it, whatever. But there’s tons of people who know their soulmates for years and never realize it. Tons of people go to school and never interact with their soulmates. But that very first day… the first day you were at that school, the first day you saw me — we met. You defended me. And that counts for something. And I like to think it speaks more about us than it does about the grand scheme of things,” you brought a hand up, wiped away whatever tears were left on his cheeks with enough tenderness he almost started to sob again, “You didn’t know I was your soulmate. I was just some random classmate, and you defended me without even thinking about it. And I will always do the same for you. Always.”

You always had, you always will. The two of you had proven, time and time again, that you will always choose one another. It was never about that inevitable bond.

��I don’t deserve you,” he confessed, quickly moving to keep your palm there, resting on his stubbled cheek, “You deserve a soulmate who isn’t a fuck up. Someone good, someone who can give you the world and someone who… who isn’t repeating another year of fucking high school.”

“You still don’t get it,” you grinned sadly. Your fingertips press into that soft spanse right before his ear, cradling him more urgently on their own accord, “I don’t want or need someone else. You do give me the world- you are my world, you idiot.”

Idiot sounded perfectly aligned with lover as he leaned forward, burying his face in your neck. Home — he was home as you wrapped your arms back around him, pulled him a little closer in your embrace, clung to him as tightly as he clung to you.

All the colors in the world, and the only ones the two of you cared about were the ones confined to that small space for the time being, shades of you and shades of him, all overlapping perfectly in sync.

—

You stay true to your word. The first time Eddie repeats his senior year, and the second time.

Endless nights are spent studying, you forcing him to focus when he couldn’t, trying to invent new ways to learn that work for him rather than against him. He’s brilliant; you never let your boy forget that.

It’s nice for a while. Sickly sweet kisses and teasing exchanges. Enough lovesickness to make even those around you two nauseous. Nights spent out by Lover’s Lake, exchanges of promises of a future to come and discussions of whether your kids will have his eyes or your eyes. Kids. You two were discussing fucking kids. And it had scared Eddie half to death to even bring it up, but you hadn’t been phased. You’d answered terrifying question after question with ease, had even joked about what color flowers the two of you would have at your wedding and listened to Eddie describe the house he’d want to grow old in with you in excruciating detail. Sometimes the two of you even brought up what kind of dog you’d have, fantasized about the big yard which would not have a white picket fence (because, according to Eddie, that shit was too cheesy even for him in all his adoration for you). It made Eddie realize that after all these years, maybe you had become the brave one.

You’d both succumbed to the stereotypical soulmate trope. Become exactly what society had expected from the two of you since the beginning. And honestly, you couldn’t even be mad about it. You get it – you got the allure as you had laid with a head pressed to Eddie’s chest, observing all the stars again, a night sky the vision of black and white as your vision went blurry with fatigue.

“You know, that house sounds awfully expensive,” you yawned, curling a bit tighter into his side. You’re in nothing but his t-shirt, his chest still bare from the night’s activities.

Another new development. Even after all your time together, you two continued to find novelty to explore. New ways to learn each other, new ways to love each other, new ways to further tie your two souls together. An unbreakable knot. If anyone, the Universe included, tried to loosen it, you would spill blood without second thought.

“Oh, it absolutely will be,” he chuckled, vibrations echoing in your eardrum, “But that’s fine. We’re going to tap into that rockstar money, baby.”

In between talks of the future, more honest versions had arisen. Eddie and his band. You and your aspirations. Things that neither of you laughed at quite as much as the talk of children or houses with wraparound porches because they were in reach.

“Do you think you’ll have groupies?” your voice was a murmur, mouth half pressed into his skin as you lazily traced circles on his pec you aren’t using as your own personal pillow.

It made him chuckle once more, “Groupies? Sure. Don’t think any of them will be very successful, though.”

“Bold of you to assume I meant just you,” you’re able to snark back even half asleep, “Gareth deserves to be fawned over, too. Jeff is definitely a ladies killer.”

Your hand moved just fast enough out of the way for Eddie to lazily mimic stabbing himself in the exact muscle you were painting invisible imagery across, “You wound me, sweetheart.”

From this angle, you could catch the exact shade of brown that his faded freckles shone. You could see the differences in tan skin, see where he’d left a pair of sunglasses on his chest during a lake day over the summer and the tanline had remained stubborn. That had been a good day – Eddie had thrown you off the dark, wrapping his arms around you and turning the world to a blur of passing greens and blues before you’d been dunked beneath the lake’s surface. The cold water had stunned you, but him joining you seconds later hadn’t. Always by your side, even when he was being a little shit.

You’ve gone quiet on him, mind overcome with fond memories as the silence came naturally only for a few seconds before Eddie felt the need to fill it again.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, the hand that had mock-stabbed himself now curling around your forearm.

Your hand against his chest turned to a fist, pressing deeper into the skin, just to feel him closer, before you teased him, “How do you even know I’m thinking? What if my mind is just blank right now?”

“Psychic-soulmate-telepathy powers,” he answered without hesitation. When you only huffed, clearly unimpressed, he pressed a kiss to your temple before whispering in honesty, “You were smiling.”

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. Usually, you loved memorizing all the colors of him. You loved taking in his doe brown eyes and the harsh blush of his swollen lips. You’d memorize the twinkling of pink staining his skin across his chest and up his neck. You’d pick at the vibrant cherry shade of his painted nails, a sharp contrast from the usual black or sharpie scribbles he’d wear on them instead.

That silver glint of his rings. The forest green of his plaid boxers. All shades in the palette of Eddie Munson, your soulmate.

You love him so much, your chest is ready to burst from it. And you told him as much, too.

“I’m just really glad I have you,” you said for only him and only the trees to hear, “I’m really happy you came after me that day.”

There’s no rush to memorize all his colors and all his shades. You had all the time in the entire world, and then some. The only reason anyone had ever reported losing their colors was due to the death of their soulmate, and he wasn’t in any danger at the moment. He was there, sturdy beneath you, deep breaths syncing with your own.

If you didn’t learn them in this life, you wouldn’t rest until you found him in the next to finish what you had started.

“Yeah?” you could hear his grin as he held you a bit tighter. Another deep breath, another expansion of his ribs, and you feel all that time laid out at your feet. A lifetime of learning and memorizing Eddie Munson. A life well spent, “I’m glad, too.”

“Did you have even a single moment where you…. I don’t know, hesitated coming after me?” your speech began to slur, and you knew you were one foot in unconsciousness at that point.

“Never,” that same certainty he has always held since day one laced his tone, “Never. I just- I went for it. I made Jason Carver eat his words, and I ran after you. The only thing I’ll ever regret is not throwing a second punch at the asshole.”

Your smile widened, and you knew he felt it. Imagined the comfort he felt at the feeling. Imagined the peace that was washing over him just as it encased you, “But not about coming after me?”

“I don’t regret coming after you,” he told you, not growing the slightest bit annoyed at your need for constant reassurance. His fingers and palm slowly spread across your lower back, the warmth of their weight carrying you into sleep, “I’ll always come back to you, baby.”

—

It wasn’t supposed to go this way.

Spring break was supposed to be nice. Time spent with friends, lazy mornings that you and Eddie slept through, night drives spent screaming out in relief to empty highways because he made it – you both made it. The college transfer was already put into motion, making it so you’d start the fall semester at a University in upstate Indiana. Eddie had taken a few roadtrips with you at his side, already having gotten on the good side of a boss at one of the car shops within range of where you’d be attending. You two had littered his floor with ads for apartments, the ones in your price range circled in brilliant and glaring red. Everything had been perfectly in line. Everything was set in place. Spring break was supposed to be a break to just be kids one last time – it was supposed to be nice.

But then Chrissy Cunningham happened. And Jason Carver, and an entire town of people who had always hated your soulmate. Suddenly, your own plan for the future had been scrapped, and in its spot a line of new dominos had been placed. One falling down after the other, too quick for you to keep up with.

A group of strangers had banged down on your front door. Had demanded to know where Eddie was, claimed they were friends trying to help him. You hadn’t even seen the news yet. They’d tried to fill you in, but only confused you more in the process, because the words Eddie and murderer should have never been used together in a sentence in the way they claimed the entire town was currently spewing.

You were his soulmate. They were sure you’d know where he was, but you didn’t.

That didn’t matter, though. The young boy, Dustin, had been determined. You’d heard all about him from Eddie – about the brilliant mind hidden beneath baseball caps and unruly curls, about the smart mouth you witnessed mouthing off to Steve Harrington first hand as you’d been searching for your boy.

It reminded you of Eddie. It made you ache. It made you only more voracious in your search.

And you’d found him – terrified, alone, trembling and crying. A version of him you’d never been privy to had pinned Steve fucking Harrington to the wall of Reefer Rick’s boathouse with a broken bottle to his throat. Wild, scared eyes and hands that shook harder than the day his father had called him and he’d put a goddamn hole through his kitchen wall. More desperation on his face than the day he’d informed you he’d be repeating his senior year for the first time. Shoulders more tense than the night you’d nearly walked away from him over some silly kiss with a cheerleader.

When he saw you, he’d shattered completely.

The sight of you had him collapsing into your arms, unable to explain himself in full sentences as he gasped and panicked and clung to you. And you had held him, had forced the others to give him time. You were like a feral animal, standing between him and them, friends or not. Your claws and teeth alike had been out, ready to mar anyone who would dare to lay a hand on your soulmate.

He’d calmed down. He’d explained. And then they had explained and reassured Eddie that he wasn’t crazy. His eyes had found yours over and over, and not a single time did they hold a single doubt for him in them. You believed him; you would always believe him. The cries of the town had been nothing more than static noise. You knew the man before you, you loved the man before you. Your soul knew his intricately, intimately. It would always know him, no matter the circumstance and no matter the troubles to come. In this life and the next.

The colors were never the gift. The gift the Universe had offered you had always been him.

You stayed with him those short few days. Ran from Carver and his posse, swam in the lake and had kept a level head as you formulated a plan. Find a walkie-talkie. Call for Dustin, call for help.

When the rest of them had jumped into the lake after Steve, you’d put a selfish hand on his bicep. For a moment, the only thing you were thinking of was him. You couldn’t lose him.

When he jumped in after Robin and Nancy anyways, you’d followed, no hesitation.

A dreary, nightmarish world. You’d followed him into Hell – quite literally, it seemed. Except they didn’t call it Hell, they called it the Upside Down. A place made up of all the things children fear, of awful creatures that only served to attack, to kill, and terrible storms of flashing red lightning. A blue tint to the town you’d come to know. Shades of flesh and shades of grey – shades of death – flooded the place. And only you, Eddie, and Nancy could see them.

Nancy’s soulmate was somewhere far away. Somewhere safe. But she understood that protective stance and the way you’d stuck staunchly at Eddie’s side. She got it.

A stolen RV, shields made of trash can lids and nails rather than make believe, goddamn spears made at the hand of people all far too young to be handling these things. They were handling the end of the world, and you suddenly hadn’t felt as brave as Eddie always claimed you were. The plan was formulated, and the entire time, you had a sinking feeling in your stomach. You watched Eddie play fight with Dustin, real weapons discarded to the ground, and you listened to Robin whisper the same sentiment to Steve.

“I just have this terrible, gnawing feeling that… it might not work out for us this time.”

You agreed with Robin. You hated that you agreed with Robin.

And so you stood like a watch dog at Eddie’s side, nearly lashed out when it was suggested you might be more helpful joining everyone else going after this Vecna rather than staying with Eddie.

It was his turn to put a hesitant hand on your bicep. Brown, russet, umber eyes that flashed with the unspoken question of are you sure you want to do this?

But he was sure. And just as quickly as you’d followed him into that lake, just as quickly as you had dismissed those awful claims against him, you’d nodded. Because if he was sure, if he was going through it, you would follow him.

You should have insisted on staying with him and Dustin.

Because your group of rag tags re-entered that Hellish landscape, and you flinched with each flash of red, not even soothed by Eddie’s hand in yours. And the people around you were now friends; you’d realized in a few short days that you would do almost anything to protect all of them as well, but you knew there was nothing that you wouldn’t do to keep Eddie alive.

“Hey,” he insists once the two of you stand outside this alternate version of his trailer, somewhere that you should know all too well but that has morphed into something unfamiliar in this world.

His hand holding yours spins you to face him, a few steps off to the side from the rest of everyone.

“Hi,” you whisper back, trying to only focus on him. Not the bleak colors of the landscape around you two, but the vibrancy of his shades. You hate the weakness written all across your features, unable to offer him any reassurance in return for all that he had given you over the years. You were terrified. As Robin had said, a terrible gut feeling was gnawing at you from the inside out. You couldn’t help the tears gathering, couldn’t unravel the restriction of your throat.

“It’s going to be okay, alright?” he does the talking, nodding and lowering his chin to stare right into your eyes. His favorite color now wet with emotion, shining even in the dullest of environments, “Can’t be worse than punching Jason Carver, right?”

It could be. It could be much, much worse. Everything you two had endured together was children’s play compared to this. But you don’t say that; you nod in dishonesty, biting your lip to stop from letting a whimper escape.

“I’ll always come back to you, I promise,” he swears so vehemently, voice spitting with determination. Those brows half hidden by the bandana atop his head furrow, his forehead nearly brushing yours.

That, you at the very least, believe. Just as you would find him every time, in this life and the next, he would find you.

“You better,” you choke out, hands reaching up just to latch onto him one more time. To feel him, sturdy beneath your palms. Alive. Your gift from the Universe, the boy who let you see colors. You almost regret spending so long fascinated with the shades you’d discovered when you should have allotted more time to imprint the features of his face to memory. You should have cared more about that freckle beneath his right eye, the slight crook to his nose, the way each of his calluses feel against your bare shoulders. Shades of blue, red, green, violet, yellow – none of them matter as much as the boy before you. They only matter because they paint the picture of him for you fully. They only matter because he matters, “I still need your rockstar money to pay for that wraparound porch.”

He laughs at that. And God, he’s gorgeous – his head thrown back, eyes crinkling with genuine joy for the first time in days. No one else catches the tear that slips from one of those pinched eyes, the hidden sadness for only you to catch onto.

That gnawing feeling – the one you and Robin felt. He felt it, too.

“Of course,” he finally sighs, opening his eyes back to yours and now holding so many words that neither of you have the time to exchange. It kills you – you don’t have time. You thought you’d always have more time. “Think of this as a test run for that rockstar money. See how a crowd of bats feel about my rockstar skills.”

“Careful,” your voice cracks, a few tears slipping that he’s quick to swipe away, “I hear they’re a tough crowd.”

He smiles at your joke, but doesn’t waste his breath on laughing. His lips find yours instead, pouring out every single thought and emotion possible. You feel a tug on that knot you’d tied between you two, everything in your being protesting from pulling back from the kiss. You try to move your lips in a response, to tell him it’ll be fine, to tell him you’ll both return to each other. To tell him you’ll have more time.

When he pulls back, realizing you can’t, his hand falls from you only to reach into the pocket of his jeans. You don’t understand until suddenly, he’s thrusting a laminated square into your hand.

You know what it is before you even turn it over. Your entire body strangles down the broken sob as you look down at a polaroid of a younger Eddie. Somewhere safe and somewhere that time is still yours.

“Keep that safe for me, yeah?” his voice wavers as he produces his own polaroid – the picture of you, “I mean, I’ll have yours, obviously. But… but just… it’s gonna be worth a lot of money once I’m the next big thing in the Upside Down.”

He’s trying so hard to make you laugh just one more time. It only surges more tears to burn your vision.

“All I’ll have to show Vecna is this,” you start to joke back, letting more tears stain your cheeks, “And- and-”

You can’t finish the joke. He gets it, putting a hand over yours, forcing you both to put away those polaroids.

“I know,” he assures you, “I know. Show him my ugly mug, and he’ll go down without a fight. That’s exactly why I’m giving it to you, baby.”

Another tear, only for you, slips. You trace it all the way down his cheek, memorize the way his skin looks in the horrid blue tint and try to remember the shade it glows during golden hour instead.

“I love you,” you say. But once isn’t enough, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he takes your hands in his palms, finally presses his forehead to yours, shares his breath for a moment as he focuses on your sad eyes, “So fucking much. You always were prettier than all the colors combined. Better stay that way till I come back to you.”

He releases you. Wipes away his tears, has to give you an encouraging shove on your shoulders to force you to join Nancy and Robin’s sides.

Steve catches your eye, a look on his face telling you he’d been watching the entire interaction. Something yearning crosses his features, and then something clicks. As if this is the first time he’d ever witnessed soulmates. As if he’s the one seeing colors for the first time.

Maybe that’s why he gives his little speech. Maybe that’s why he tries to plead your case and make sure that Eddie and Dustin don’t do anything stupid.

After Eddie has made his final request to Steve, to make him pay, he looks at you one last time. A ghost of a grin, wearing his bravest mask to date as he mouths I love you.

You echo the silent sentiment. A silent prayer. For the Universe to bring him back to you. To bring you back to him.

—*ash, stop reading here*—

The only way to lose your colors is if your soulmate has died. It’s one of the first things you learn when school first broached the sensitive topic. Your soulmate dies, they take the colors with them. They never told you how the soulmate takes the colors with them – never discussed whether it would fast and sudden like the moment you first touched your soulmate, if the colors would drain from you in real time and leave a path of chromatic grey behind, or if you’d watch them flicker from sight, just as one might watch the life flicker from the eyes of the one they loved.

You’d always wondered how it happened.

You’d been morbidly curious that day in class despite finding it all a bit dramatic. Had looked around a black and white classroom and processed your classmates' different greyscale reactions. Some were forlorn, some were snickering beneath their breath. Some just looked plain bored. It made sense; you were all kids, none of you had ever seen the blue sky or the verdant grass. Only heard about it. Only listened to adults drone on and on about it wistfully. It was never something tangible, something to have and to hold and to lose.

You wonder how younger you would have looked upon you now. As you faced down an alternate dimension’s fiercest villain, hand paused midair, prepared to launch a lit molotov cocktail with aim to kill, when you suddenly paused.

The shades of the fire burning brightly in front of you have dulled. Microscopically. The smallest of flickers in vibrancy.

“What are you doing?” Steve screams when he notices your hesitation, “Throw it! Jesus Christ, throw it before-”

Robin cut him off, being the closest to you and reaching over to snatch the ticking time bomb of a bottle, tossing it for you.

As it explodes against the mangled being before you, another flicker occurs. You swear you feel a stabbing pain in your side, as if that gnawing has taken to ripping you apart.

You swear the bright flashes of yellow amongst the flames have turned to white. The orange has gone so faded, the dullest bits have shadowed over in grey.

Nancy takes another shot, but you can’t move. You watch it all in slow motion: she doesn’t miss, her shot ricochets dead center, Vecna stumbles before crashing through the wall behind him.

The world flickers a final time, and all the air leaves your lungs.

It’s black and white.

The floorboards, all of your sudden friends beside you, the walls of the old house, the lightning flashing amongst storm clouds in the sky outside.

It’s black and white. Shades of grey monotone.

As everyone rushes to look out the hole, your knees collide with splintered wood.

The colors are gone. It’s black and white.

“Where’d he-” Steve starts to question before he turns and sees you. You’re folding into yourself, no longer breathing as you look down at your palms. Grey. Not a single sliver of flesh tone to be seen. “Are you okay?”

The colors are gone.

A cold washes over you like never before, and even if you wanted to take another breath, you couldn’t. It’s not ash burning your eyes – it’s tears, hot and vicious as your face begins to crumple in panic.

Eddie.

You don’t even hear them cross the room back to you. Can’t hone in on what’s happened, if the evil has been defeated and if you’d all won. It doesn’t matter; your colors are gone.

Your hands finally fumble without thought, patting down your person until you catch the corner of the polaroid. You yank it free, breaths finally strangling into your throat without purchase, your shoulders shaking.

It’ll be in color. It has to be in color. He has to be in color.

That familiar and well loved photo stares back at you. Your boy, curly hair wild and unruly, grin soft and fond. A twinkle captured in his eye and all that adoration that had been rolling off of him in waves somehow frozen in time.

Frozen in time, frozen in black and white.

Steve shakes your shoulders, Robin begins to pace and match your panic. They don’t understand.

Gritted sobs leave your mouth, tears blinding you as you look at the shadow of what must be Nancy.

She understands.

Even through the strangled breaths, earth-shattering sobs that make you nearly incoherent, she knows.

“Eddie,” you manage to gasp, fist curling around the photograph.

The only way to lose your colors is if your soulmate has died.

“Eddie,” you manage a mangled sob as Steve pulls back, horror-stricken as he looks down at the polaroid, slowly piecing together what was happening.

Fast and sudden like the moment you first touched your soulmate. Draining from you in real time and leaving a path of chromatic grey behind. Flickering from sight, just as one might watch the life flicker from the eyes of the one they loved.

“Eddie!”

You’d always wondered how it happened.

You finally had your answer. You wish you didn’t.

#my writing #eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson fanfic #gonna run and hide now sorry bye #Spotify

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minhosimthings · 4 months

Text

A La Folie ft. Jay

Synopsis: Wounds came and went. All in the circle of life am I right? The greatest warrior among all the kings, Park Jay. For him, seeing blood was like seeing the sky. It was a daily routine which he could not escape. Yes sometimes he had grave injuries, which he wouldn't stop to take care of, with him being a workaholic. But sometimes healers do more than heal physical wounds, and for Jay, you did exactly that.

Pairings: King!Jay × healer!fem!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, no smut (yet hehe), mentions of blood, violence, domestic abuse, mentions of cheating, mistresses (don't read it if you can't handle it), mentions of food, Jay has a REALLY tragic past sorry bout that, reader is an orphan, also this is really dramatic IM SORRY I CANT NOT WRITE DRAMA, open ending oohh

A/N: EYYY MR JAY PARK WOOHOO Ngl I was so excited to write this but the exams and all made this kinda difficult to write so if anyone has been waiting for this I'm sorry for the extremely long wait. Also yes this wil be in three parts yay. @yunabi436 this is for you baby 😽

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

The French Quotes Series Masterlist

"And from Aphrodite's rotten lovesick blood did the white flowers turn into a darker shade of red, eternally forming the flower of love."

Aphrodite and the hunter Adonis' tale had been one of boars, blood, lust and love.

For the young king of the iron-kingdom of Vadronia (rightly given its moniker), the only thing he cared about in all of those four things were the boars and the blood.

Jay Park's kingdom wasn't the strongest in all of Paradoxica just in a penny's wish and a flick of a tail feather. It was quote unquote 'molten from iron itself' as all its rulers were.

From all of his brothers, Jay was probably the one who took his duties as a warrior seriously.

Well, a bit too seriously, according to the said brothers.

"Jay would you please stop running so fast?" Sunghoon panted, putting his hands on his knees and breathing heavily as beads of sweat dripped from his hair and skin.

The mud track was always the hardest one to trench upon, and with Jay on your trail? It was hell. Atleast that's what Jake and Sunghoon described it as.

"Are you going to be saying that when you're running from enemy horses?" Jay turned back and glared at Sunghoon, the light autumn breeze giving him peace as it whipped his hair around.

"For God's sake Jay, no one is going to invade us now." Heeseung walked into the scene, with much less sweatier clothes and an arrow clutched in his hand, indicating he had come back from his target practice, "Give the poor guys a break."

"Yes please give us a break I'll go down on my knees." Jake was close to collapsing on the floor, his hand desperately clutching onto the nearby flag pole for support.

"You'd go down on your knees for your best friend." Jay scoffed, throwing his head back to shake the sweat out of his hair follicles, because as glorious as they were, the stray strands still annoyed him, "And you." He turned towards Heeseung, who, even though was much taller than Jay, now looked like a dwarf in front of Jay's broad figure, "How many times do I have to remind you to come for practice?"

"It's not my fault." Heeseung jut out his bottom lip, he always loved acting cute in front of Jay even if he was older, "Little princess back at home has been spying on me. And not gonna lie, I am extremely aroused."

"Why did I even ask?" Jay rolled his eyes and stretched out his arms, the bright burning sun reflecting in his eyes like the moonshine he loved so much, which he drank by the fireplace as he penned down poetry he could show to no one.

"So Jayyyy" Sunghoon dragged his words out, "Felt any sparks lately?"

"Ask that question again and you'll be running twenty laps round this track." Jay promptly replied, cleaning his face with the lavender-smelling towel the nearby servant handed to him. He always loved the lavender scented things, it reminded him of the springs with his mother, oh how she would tease him with tiny flowers in his hair, and the clink of her ruby created dagger in her belt. The dagger lay soulless now, sitting in a secretive place in Jay's room, as he stared at it and remembered that moment again and again. His bastard father, no matter how many times Jay had cursed him, he still couldn't get it out of his mind.

His mother, his compassionate, kind mother, didn't deserve to bleed out from his father's turn of blade.

And no matter how many potions he took, the smell of the blood filled ballroom still lingered in his nose at night, when he would jolt awake in cold sweat, wanting to cling onto his mother, but then he'd remember that he wasn't eight anymore, she was gone.

"Jay you're my brother and I really respect you a lot." Heeseung started, sitting Jay down on the oak bench, while Jake and Sunghoon quietly sneaked out, running for their lives back to their horses, "But you've got to find someone to love in your life, you've got to get over your fear."

"Weren't you the one who was complaining about love to Jake and I a few days ago?" Jay raised a magnificently trimmed brow, to which Heeseung chuckled.

"Yep but then I fell into that rabbit hole and I seem to like it, a bit too much perhaps." Heeseung stared into the distance, instantly losing his dramatic moment as the setting sun hit his pupils.

"Yeah, someday when I'm older maybe." Jay fiddled with his fingers, he never could keep them still, "But for now, I wanted to ask if you'd want to come with me on a hunt tomorrow?"

"A hunt?" Heeseung quizzed, lifting himself with much difficulty off of the bench, bow in hand, "You haven't invited me to a hunt in ages."

"Necessity is the mother of invention." Jay got up as well, scented towel still in hand, "And in this case it's that wild boar our men have been hunting since last month, been terrorizing the border between Tarnow and Vadronia now. I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet."

"Consider me blinded by love." Heeseung threw a flirtatious wink at Jay, who visibly gagged, "I'll be there."

"I'll be waiting."

"No no no, Jay, we, under no circumstances, apply essence of Hibiscus to a water snake's venom." A lady with greying hair sighed, bending over a wooden cup, while a sturdy, black haired man gulped heavily and stared nervously at the herbs in his hand.

Jay was never very successful in his healing classes, and under the strict gaze of his teacher, old Mrs.Chun, he was far away from catching the train of success.

"I don't get it." Jay frowned like a child, setting the hibiscus flower down on the table filled with healing equipments of all kind, "Wasn't the essence of Hibiscus supposed to combat this snake's venom?"

The old lady sighed again and rolled her eyes, snatching the hibiscus from the table and setting it into a basket full of the bright red flowers. With her other hand, she picked up a wicker work basket of lavender and lifted it up to Jay.

"Lavender. I said lavender remember?" She smiled up at Jay like an encouraging teacher, "Lavender for the wounds which make a man turn purple, and hibiscus for the blood drops."

Jay mumbled the rule under his mouth before pressing the lavender petals to the venom splanched across the bown om front of him. The purplish colour immediately turned a healing shade of dark yellow, satisfying Jay and letting out a sigh of relief from the old lady.

"Just some more practice and patience and you'll be a good healer in no time." Mrs. Chun patted Jay's arm sympathetically.

"But why do I even need to be a healer?" Jay asked curiously, putting the box of potions up on the shelf where they belonged, "I'm already a warrior."

"Every great warrior needs to know how to tend to his own wounds." The old lady smiled, looking curiously at a green flask, "I made a vow to your mother to never let you fail in this subject."

Jay smiled fondly at the thought of his mother spending her hours in the infirmary along with Mrs. Chun. Mrs. Chun herself was like his mother figure, providing him the hugs his 14 year old self needed so bad years ago.

"And remember Jay!" Mrs. Chun called out just as Jay was about to leave the room, "I won't be here for the entirety of next month."

"But then who's going to look after the infirmary?" Jay turned back and raised a quizzical brow at Mrs.Chun, who smiled gently.

"My apprentice will." She promptly replied, "She's a nice girl, I told her all about your predicament of failing at healing." Jay let out a chuckle at Mrs.Chun's joke, "She'll take your classes alright?"

"Don't miss me too much Mrs.Chun!" Jay laughed, "I'm your favourite remember?"

Mrs.Chun laughed heartily to herself. Oh that boy, she thought, still a bit at heart even if he was a man to the world.

Only a bit of love perhaps, can truly lead him to show this side of him to the world.

Jay sighed heavily as he plopped down on his armchair, the most comfortable one by the fire.

Love, he scoffed, what a stupid, dangerous thing.

He believed his father to love his mother, he believed his mother to love his father even as he went out every night to quote unquote 'find himself'. Mistresses were awful buisness, and no Queen had ever objected her king having one. But of course, his mother had to object, she had to be different. She had to storm in to her husband and his lover and confront them. And his father, fire-filled man he was, had to strike a blade through her belly, making her bleed out in 14 year old Jay's arms.

And of course, Jay, blinded by his rage, had to strike his father back, skilled as his father was, Jay was more fleet footed, and in the blink of an eye, his father and his father's new toy were lying in cold blood on the floor, as Jay sobbed, clutching his mother's body, dead as a fish out of the ocean.

And his brothers had noticed, they had always noticed how Jay was never the same from that day. From the happy boy who loved to write stories and poetry and who hated to even step foot in the training yard, Jay became the mercenary king, ready with his sword clutched in hand, and his poems long forgotten to silence and withering darkness.

But it wasn't to say that Jay was a ruthless ruler, he chose not to take that path, especially not after half the kingdom starved under the rule of his father. It wouldn't have been a lie to say he was the kindest one in all of Paradoxica, except he didn't really show it in the way he spoke or acted, but by the way he controlled the administration and whatnot of the kingdom. This kept his busy, seldom leaving time for any other activities, much to the disappointment of his brothers, especially Heeseung, who had always been the closest to him, who had known what he was truly like, deep inside.

Clutching his eagle feather quill, one of his most dearest ones, Jay dipped the tip into his ink pot, letting the excess ink dry off before pressing it to his leather bound diary.

When he wrote the feelings he couldn't ever say out loud onto the softwood paper, Jay felt a sort of contentment, he had always been a clandestine philophile, so to write his proses on the idea of love, death and misery, was to create a beautiful choreography on his mindset.

Alas, if there was only someone he could show them to, someone who would understand what Jay meant in the lines, even with his messy loopy calligraphy, that would have been a dream truly come true.

But how could a man who wrote poems to challenge the angels of love themselves, ever find love?

But I am a mere narrator, what would I know?

And sometimes, just sometimes, Cupid lurked in the ballrooms of dancing princes and in the dark inkpots of oxymoronic kings.

"I have no idea what's happening, but I'm happy to be here." Sunghoon's beautiful Clydesdale horse pranced around on the grass, as energetic and as similar a persona as her owner.

"Would you tell her to calm down?" Heeseung's own chestnut's hooves guided him towards Sunghoon, "She needs the energy for the hunt." Heeseung easily managed to calm the mare down by scratching behind her eyes, to which Sunghoon drooped since he had been enjoying the prancing around a bit too much.

"Why are we going on a hunt again?" Jake adjusted his saddle, making sure he was buckled in properly to his Fox Trotter horse, "Aren't we above killing animals now?"

"Your best friend tell you that?" The clip clopping of Jay's magnificent Dutch Warmblood sent all of the soldiers to silence, "And if the animal is a wild boar, no we aren't above that."

"Whatever you say, oh great King." Sunghoon snickered, as he did a sort of bow on his horse, making everyone laugh.

"Oh shut up." Jay rolled his eyes, clutching onto his horse's hair, and leaning into his usual stance, "Come on now, don't want to keep a beauty waiting do we?" And with the mighty neigh of his horse, he rode off into the forest, followed by Heeseung, Jake and Sunghoon, who followed with dramatic sighs.

"Sometimes I wonder if he just wants to live in an adventure book and say cringey lines all the time." Sunghoon jested, making the others laugh.

"Where on earth is Sunoo?" Jay shouted out, completely ignoring the statement made about him, as the rest of the three managed to catch up to his horse's pace.

"Probably tending to his vineyard." The wind whipped Jake's hair around, "God knows if he'd ever accept coming to a hunt with us."

"Maybe a grape hunt-"

"Shh!"

Jay's action of stopping his horse, and shushing everyone startled the others, and as the clopping of hooves quietened down, they understood why Jay had stopped so abruptly.

The rustling of the nearby begonia bushes, combined with the noises of an animal which sounded extremely similar to a wild boar, alerted them, as they drew out their swords, daggers and metal tipped arrows, all from treasure chest of Vadronia's amazing metalwork, aiming them at the begonia bushes, as Jay held up his closed fist to give the command.

"Come on out." Jay whispered to no one in particular but himself, as the begonia bushes began shaking more rapidly and the sounds of an animal's footsteps came nearer.

"Hey maybe we should-" Heeseung bagan quietly to Jay, but was interrupted by the ripping of the begonias into shreds.

And there it was, what Jay had been waiting for.

A big wild boar in its full magnificence.

Ivory tusks in full gleam, swathes of brown fur all over its damaged skin, with wounds from previous hints. A ture display of its strength, Jay thought, it wanted to intimidate them, as if to say 'see how many people haven't defeated me yet, why do you think you stand a chance?'.

"Steady now, Lady." Jay patted his horse, which was ever so graciously named Lady, although the mare's personality in battle was far away from a lady's. Jay always preferred mares to horses, he though they were more faster and agile, while horses used their brute strength. And he had a hatred from brute strength. It was what got her killed after all.....

"Jake look out!" Heeseung cried out, snapping Jay out of his daze of staring into the boar's eyes. Of all the animals of the world, he hated this one the most, he hated the way his father loved to hunt them, and how he'd come home from hunts everyday drenched in blood with a boar skull im his hands, from which his mother would recoil from, what with her hatred of the smell of iron.

Hatred, that's all that was there in Jay's life. And that's all there will be.

"Jay, we have to get back come on!" Sunghoon cried, his horse already galloping away. The boar was far too big for them to contain. "Jay?" Heeseung peered back, "Jay no!"

But the sturdy built man's ears heeded no warning as he stepped along to the boar, his sword clutched tightly in hand, the carving of his name in the metal shining bright, as if to warn the spirit of the forest that he has arrived.

"Hyung what's happe-" Jake and Sunghoon's horses had turned back to see why the eldest wasn't coming, only to see Jay stabbing at the boar, while Heeseung tried to get Lady, who was close to prancing away into the depths of the forest.

"Help me would ya!" Heeseung cried, flinging his rope around Lady's magnificent neck, to which Sunghoon and Jake came quick and flung their own ropes, "One of you help Jay!"

"I'll go!" Sunghoon's horse galloped towards Jay, but to his shock, he saw that the boar was already lying, its movements still, and Jay standing drenched in blood.

It was dead.

Jay's sword was decorated with ribbons of maroon.

"Jay what the..." Sunghoon began, but he could find no words. The boar had been big, two times the size and strength of any ordinary man, and now it was kneeling at Jay's command, kneeling dead and cold as a fish.

"It's dead." Jay growled, his breathing too heavy, and his hand clutching a particularly dark spot on his stomach, as Heeseung and Jake came to the scene, having calmed Lady down, "The tusk...."

"The tusk? What about the- Jay!" Heeseung cried, before jumping off his horse and quickly moving towards Jay's graceful falling figure.

The last thing Jay felt was the feeling of wet grass underneath his head, Heeseung's hand over his wrist, and the familiar scent of feminine lavender pressing over him before everything went dark as he had always wished for it to be.

Jay never cared much about his injuries. No matter how big or small they were, no matter if it was a paper cut to the thumb or an arrow head to the shoulder, he would simply say "Injuries happen, it's a part of life" and move on. Which proved to be a source of annoyance for his brothers, especially Jake, who had an eye for healing.

But Jay was a firm believer in the notion that twenty four hours a day simply wasn't enough. He wanted more, he craved for more, more time, more work. Although he wouldn't admit it, everyone was in unison with the fact that he was Paradoxica's biggest workaholic.

And when it came back to the topic of injuries, Jay would still keep working, whether or not he was stuck in bed, because Heeseung had forced him to stay there.

Heeseung remembered Jay's younger days. How Jay would whine and do nothing if he got even the tiniest splinter in his finger. How he would beg for a day off from studies if he merely stubbed his tie against the kitchen ladder while sneaking out to steal pastries. But the horrible incident had changed every aspect of Jay, and now, he wouldn't stop working if every limb in his body was broken.

"All for the good of the people" he reasoned.

Usually Mrs.Chun had taken care of him, scolded him too many times about taking rests whenever he'd come back from battles or fights with blood flowing out his nose. But even then he didn't care. So the vision of waking up to Mrs.Chun's berry scent was a norm for him whenever he'd get injured.

But now, the room wasn't berry scented, and nor was Mrs. Chun sitting in the corner, waiting for him to wake up.

A girl?

A girl, wearing Mrs.Chun's apron, had her head rested against his table, her eyes fluttered close.

Were his eyes tricking him or did Mrs.Chun suddenly become thirty years younger?

Feeling something heavy on his waist, Jay tried to lift his head from his pillow, letting out a guttural groan as he did. God what was hurting him so much? He could feel something hurting at his stomach.

"Your Majesty, lie back down." He heard someone say, and as he opened his eyes, he saw the girl bending over him, forcing him to lie back down on the bed.

Jay stared at her for a few moments, trying to remember who she is before the candle went off in his mind.

The apprentice.

You were Mrs.Chun's apprentice.

"Are you Mrs.Chun's apprentice?" Jay groaned, feeling his head throb and his fingers were aching too.

You nodded promptly, before pushing Jay gently back onto the bed as he tried to get back.

"I'm sorry to inform you, Your Majesty, but you aren't getting up for another two weeks. You were stabbed by a wild boar's tusk." You stated firmly, shocking Jay at how casually you had addressed him, "His Highness Heeseung told me to handcuff you to the bed if you even try to move."

"Handcuff me?" Jay chuckled, moving his body slightly to lessen the pressure on his legs, "Where are you even going to get-"

Jay's sentence was cut off abruptly as your hands pulled out a pair of heavy metal from a secret pocket in the olive green dress you were wearing, and held it in front of Jay, effectively silencing him.

"I'm sorry if that was rude, but you are my patient, Your Majesty.." Your mouth let out a chuckle, sending a weird sensation into Jay's stomach, which he had never felt before, "So, I will do anything and everything in order to make you rest."

"So what may I address you by, My lady?" Jay quizzed you, his head now no longer throbbing for some reason. He studied your features for a while, he thought your eyes were pretty, decorated by a thin lining of kohl. Your figure was pretty too, wrapped in the striking colour of the dress you were in, combined with the beautifully familiar way you wore your hair.

"Definetly not by 'My lady'." You chuckled, picking up your dress, and sinking into a curtsy, "Y/N, you may call me Y/N, Your Majesty."

"Pretty name." Jay complemented, watching you stand up straight from your curtsy and smile impishly at him.

"You've got to take your medicine now." You reached into your apron's pocket and pulled a big vial, which was filled with a bubbling, golden liquid, "Now, according to Mrs.Chun, tricks by pretty people often work on you."

"Pretty people?" Jay scoffed childishly, thinking about whether or not he thought Heeseung was pretty, as you measured out the liquid into a cup, "Mrs.Chun needs to have a check for up there. And do you really think you're pretty?"

You strode towards him with the cup in your hand, and smiled widely. "Well, pardon me Your Majesty, but from the way you were staring at me five minutes ago, yes. I do think I'm pretty."

"Don't get your ego up." Jay warned, taking the cup from you, letting his mind linger for a few minutes on how your delicate fingers brushed his scarred ones softly, "Your parents mus'nt have taught you manners did they?"

"Well, firstly, I don't have parents." You smiled, "And secondly I need to check your bandages, they seem to be bleeding again."

So that was what the pain radiating from his stomach was, Jay thought, as he looked down to see his bandages streaked a darker shade of red. He quickly gulped down the golden liquid in the cup, a visibly disgusted expression forming on his face at how bitter it was, and looked up at you, with widened eyes.

"So...?" He said, expectantly, seeing you fumble with some clean cloth, another vial of what looked like cream, and a safety pin.

"Tell me where it hurts when I change them alright?" You said gently, making his lay down on the bed again, "and uh..."

"What?" Jay questioned, seeing your eyes linger at his wound or more specifically, his ab muscles, "Oh you can touch them it's fine."

"Oh. Oh yeah alright." You said, feeling your face heat up slightly. Bandaging him when he was still unconscious was easier than this, when he was awake. God his stare was so attractive to you, even now, as you gently touched his bandages, replacing them with cleaner cloth, you tried hard not to brush your fingers against his abs.

"Enjoying the view?" Jay asked, a cockish sneer to his voice. "There's a view to enjoy Your Majesty?" You fired back, although you most certainly were enjoying staring at him.

"You're an interesting one." Jay said, trying to make small talk as you lightly pressed against the smaller wounds with the cream, "Y/N wasn't it?"

"Yep." You said with a pop of your lips, finishing wrapping his wounds with a slight tap to check if they were secure, "And please do stay in bed and don't work. If you need anything, I'm right outside. His highness Heeseung has told me to rest in the chambers opposite yours."

The chambers opposite to his, his parents' chambers. God did Jay hate that room, all big and filled with skulls from hunts.

"If you want to you can go home, I can manage on myself." Jay said, his eyes set on yours. Why was it so hard to maintain eye contact with you?

"I know how that idea works." You smiled again, bringing that weird sensation back into Jay's stomach, "I'll go and then you'll order someone to bring you your work, so His Highness Heeseung specifically asked me not to leave. I guess you're stuck with me Your Majesty." You curtsied to finish off the impression.

"Jay." He spoke again, to your confusion, which made him stifle a chuckle, "Please, call me Jay."

"Jay." You smiled to yourself, "Well, ring that bell if you need anything."

As you left the room, quietly shutting the door behind you, Jay had the sudden urge to kick his feet in the air. The room was filled with lavender scent, your lavender scent to be specific, and it gave Jay a sense of calm, which in turn reduced the pain radiating from his stab wound.

Well this would be an interesting two weeks.

"Your Majesty what on Earth are you doing?"

Jay froze in his position at hearing a stern voice. Your stern voice, to be precise.

"Resting?" He said, trying to hide his cheeky smile, as he slowly backed away from his table. Rolling your eyes, you quickly got him back to the bed, worried that his bandages will open back again. But the only thing Jay was worried about was that his work wasn't getting completed.

"How about this?" You asked, as you finally managed to wrestle him back to the bed, "I'll do the work for you, if you agree to rest. It's in that diary right?"

"I can't let you do that." Jay grumbled, reaching for your arm, as you hurried to get to the diary on his table. The cold touch of his hand on your warmer skin made you flinch heavily, which in turn made Jay pull his hand away.

"I'm sorry." Jay quickly apologised, as you rubbed your arm, "I- That's my private diary, I don't really allow people to see it."

"Oh, my apologies then." You curtsied, still rubbing your arm, feeling extremely cold for some reason, even if the warm daylight was coming into the room through the window, "Your Majesty-"

"Jay." He corrected, shooting you the tiniest fragment of a smile.

"Jay." You said again, this time feeling more at ease, "You've got to rest, I'm begging you. Those bandages won't magically heal you until you rest. If there's anything I can do to get you to rest, I'll do it."

Jay's ears weren't actually listening to anything. His mind was too distracted again, by your scent. God damn his strong sense of smell, but you smelled like memories he wanted to forget.

"Tell me what perfume you use and then I won't work." Jay looked up at you with a cheeky smile. He didn't know why, but he felt comfortable to show you his smile, which he didn't often feel with the ladies in their paraffin socks.

"I- that's a peculiar question." You said, not knowing what to feel aboutthe actual King asking you about your perfume.

"I swear on my own grave that I will rest if the great healer Y/N tells me her perfume." Jay recited, keeping his hand on his chest for dramatic effect.

"It's the lavender one we get in the town square from Marcella's." You raised your chin up high, "Now would you rest?"

"Hmmm let me think." Jay dramatically sighed, "No."

"Your Majesty, I will beg." You breathed desperately, "I will seriously-"

"Your collarbone." Jay interrupted, his attention diverting from your eyes to your shoulder, "There's something on your collarbone."

Jay took note of the way your eyes flickered quickly and worriedly to your collarbone, and how you rushed to pull the sleeve of your dress up to cover it, clearing your throat afterwards to clear the awkward air.

"Are you-"

"Your Majesty, I admire the way you hold so much strivance for your work but you really must rest if you wish to keep working for the rest of your life."

The atmosphere of the room had a drastic change, Jay could feel it, as you quickly curtsied, said a quick "excuse me" and hurried off towards the exit.

That wasn't a stain or a birth mark on your shoulder Jay knew it, as he leant back comfortably, and decided to follow your advice for a while.

He'd seen dark marks like that on someone he once knew and loved.

And something in him asked him not to rest (unless it was pretending for you) until he figured out where that bruise the size of a man's hand, came from.

Part 2 coming soon....

Tags: @amazzwon @heeseungshim @kvmariii @mwahvvis @hottiewifeyyyy @sacrificeatmeup @perfectnighttt @yawnzzhoon @yunabi436

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oursecretescape · 3 months

Text

Forgotten

words: 7.5k

genre: angst

If my fate is to disappear like this, then this is my last letter - Let go xx TW: Mentions of anxiety, panick attack. Trad: anjinho = little angel. a/n: Hello, my babies. This story is the translation of ''Forgotten'' that I recently posted. I tried to make it as angsty as possible, hope I have achieved my goal. My apologies before hand for any grammar erros. English is not my first language. I suggest you all read it along with the saddest song you like. Well... with all that being said, I wish you a happy reading (or sad? lmao. dunno). Tell me later what y'all thought. ♥

"Hey! We'll be there soon. Sorry for the delay. Today's rehearsal took longer than expected. We're leaving now."

Received at 5 in the afternoon.

I take a quick glance at the clock, and it shows eight in the evening. A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I feel my heart drumming slowly in my chest, each beat amplifying my growing sense of unease.

I get up from the couch and reach for the umbrella swaying gently in the wind coming from the window. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to manage the sudden surge of fear and despair growing in my chest. My heart is racing, and my mind is in overdrive. A sense of mortality and suffocation, all rolled up into a single emotion: anxiety.

I sit down, sliding along the corridor wall. I try to control my breathing while attempting to steady the pounding of my heart. I think that dying in the hallway of a building would be so pointless and dull that it makes me laugh. A laugh, strained and devoid of emotion, but functional.

Heart rate normalizing. Labored, but controlled breathing. Mind stabilized.

I feel my face wet with tears. I wipe them away with trembling hands. When did I start crying? I rise from the floor, swaying a little. I take another deep breath and press the elevator button.

Dad always said that thinking of ridiculous things in difficult moments would help distract me. He was right, as he always was.

The cold, damp breeze of Seoul's streets warmed my soul. Its black skies, like darkness, covered with thick clouds, carried heavy raindrops that, upon impact, met my umbrella, creating beautiful melodies. It was comforting to hear the drops hitting the hard concrete; they reminded me that I wasn't crying alone.

It was thundering when I arrived at the destination. Bright streaks in the sky made the monument even gloomier. I found it ironic how everything matched my feelings. As I entered through the doors, I could already hear muffled cries. Sadness and suffering permeated the air, leaving me melancholic.

After a few more steps, I could see the person I love the most in the world greeting me with a beautiful smile. His eyes were shining like true rays of sunshine. I sit in front of him, sliding my fingers where his name rests. Lee Joon-Ho.

"Dad, I miss you so much," I say aloud, my voice cracking with emotion. "It's been incredibly lonely without you here. You have no idea how much I long for your company," I said, feeling the salty taste of tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring my friends to meet you like I promised. They're all caught up with their own lives, you know how it is. But don't worry, I'll bring them next time when they're less busy," I chuckle, with no emotion.

I hear footsteps behind me. I stand up excitedly, my heart pounding, but this time as a sign of comfort. They didn't forget. I feel my face stretch into a small smile, which is quickly dissolved.

"Hello, young lady. Good evening," the guard gives me a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need to ask you not to linger too long on your visit today. The rain caused some minor leaks, and we'll have to close a little earlier."

"Oh okay, I understand," I responded in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. You have 10 minutes. I'll leave you alone," he said, bowing and leaving promptly.

I turn again, sitting on the floor.

"Dad, today I have to leave a little earlier. But don't worry, I'll be back soon," I feel the tears fall like the drops falling from the sky. "I love you so much," I say between sobs. "I miss you."

I stand up in desperation, running out the door, feeling the drops fall freely on my body, without the protection of the umbrella. It was as if I was washing away all the bad feelings flowing from my being.

Arriving home, I take a hot shower and change into comfortable clothes. The room were in dense darkness. It was just the rain and me. And my cat, who was rubbing against my leg, lay on my lap."

I feel my chest inflate with comfort at the presence of the little being and smile at the gesture.

With the phone in hand, I try to distract my restless mind. I see the Twitter icon and feel my heart pounding as if I shouldn't do this, but I do it anyway. The blue screen shining amidst the darkness of the room soon turns into white, leaving my vision blurred. I switch to dark mode and continue scrolling through my feed.

Within a few seconds, I see something that breaks my heart even more. Among the bursts of excitement from Armys, there are videos of the boys, my boys, having fun in a restaurant with her. They forgot about the visitation day because of her. Again, the reason why I was put aside is her.

Knocks on the door make me forget the feelings of jealousy and anger that burned in my body like fire. I hesitated to remove the furry creature from my lap, as it seemed so comfortable. With a little effort, I get up and walk to the door. Upon opening it, I see Adora's face in a comforting smile. Seeing a friendly face, I feel my tears fall freely on my face once again. She immediately drops the bags she was carrying and envelops me in a loving hug.

I can't say for how long we hugged. What I can say is that it was exactly what I needed at that moment. I feel my chest getting lighter as if all the bad feelings had been carried away by the embrace, and I feel grateful to Adora for that.

Slowly I pull away, and I can see her smile return twice as big.

"Better?" she asks, making me nod.

I step aside, and she enters, placing the food bags on the coffee table. I close the door and follow her.

"What did you bring?" I ask curiously, making her laugh.

"I knew food would cheer you up," she laughs. "I brought a lot of junk food. Sweet and savory cookies, ice cream, sweet and sour pork, hamburgers, and sodas."

"Soda?" I wonder. "Since when do you like fizzy drinks? You always said they gave you gas," I hold back a laugh.

"The soda is for you. For me," she reaches into the bag, pulling out two green bottles of soju. "I brought alcohol," she says sticking her tongue out as she shakes the bottles.

I smile at her little dance, but seeing her gummy smile reminds me of him. I feel the sadness wanting to return when I remember the videos, but I cast aside any bad feelings as I grab the ice cream container.

"I didn't want to bring it up, but I'm really sorry I wasn't there. You know how it is at BigHit. I couldn't leave the production until the work was finished," she explains, and I smile.

"It's okay. I understand," I whisper. "The important thing is that you're here now."

"About the boys..." she starts to say, but I quickly cut her off.

"No, it's fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"But you need to, Cassie. You know that. Keeping it all inside will only make it worse. You know you can trust me. Vent it out. I'm here," she holds my hand.

I close my eyes, nodding. I search within myself for the strength to let out everything I'm feeling. Everything that's hurting me. I bite my lower lip and open my eyes. It's going to be okay.

"It's been some time since my friendship with the boys started cooling off," I begin, feeling her squeeze my hand in comfort. "You know I met Tae before he became famous, and he's the one who introduced me to the rest of the boys. Since then, we've had a very strong friendship. We weren't always together, especially with the tours and my work, but we were close, like a real family. No matter how long we went without seeing each other, nothing changed, until recently," I sigh. "Park Ji-Hye showed up about 2 months ago, a few weeks before my dad passed away. She auditioned for the dancer position and passed the test," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I saw her audition," she says.

"So, since that day, I saw her getting closer and closer to the boys. They were always talking about how cool and funny she is, and, you know, I was happy for them. A new friendship is always good, especially for them, who are famous and always have to be careful with opportunists. But it never crossed my mind that she would take the place I had in their lives," I smile sadly. "They started visiting me much less. Calling me much less. Inviting me to the dorm or out much less. Until the day I literally became nothing to them," I look at Adora, whose face is red with anger.

"These..." I interrupted her.

"You don't want to lose your job, right?" I ask, laughing. "And you can't blame them either. She became their official dancer, which means wherever they go, she's with them," I shrug. "She's with them all the time, and that surely made them closer to her. Even more than me," I feel my eyes welling up. "I don't want to lose them, but I feel like I already did."

"Hey," she shakes me. "Calm down, breathe. I know they messed up. And they messed up badly, but it doesn't mean they've forgotten about you," Adora says, trying to comfort me.

"They forgot me the day my dad died, Adora. I'll never forget that. I feel like on that day, I died twice. I remember calling them in desperation, crying, not knowing what to do, feeling like my world was falling apart," I pause as I feel all the emotions returning. "And they said they were coming, but they never showed up," I continued after a few seconds of silence. "After that, they sent me a message explaining that Park Ji-Hye had gotten hurt dancing and they were with her at the hospital," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I remember. She just fell on her butt, but she made a scene like she broke her back. Everyone was freaking out at the company, even Bang PD. But in the end, it was just drama," she laments.

"After that, they didn't even visit me. Not even once," I laughed with no emotion. "Right after, they forgot my birthday. I understand that I wasn't excited at all because of my dad, but it wouldn't hurt to receive some supportive or congratulatory messages from them. I was so upset that I sent some sad texts. In less than thirty minutes, they were knocking on my door. We cried a lot, but I felt like a part of me had come back to life and that everything was going to be okay," I sarcastically laughed. "I couldn't have been more wrong, could I?" I asked.

"Cassie..."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. After today, I finally understood," I grab a spoon. "They found someone better than me. Someone who can be with them all the time and help them when they need it. I'm just sad that person isn't me. Not anymore," I shove the spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, to prevent the tears stuck in my throat from coming out.

For the rest of the night, Adora didn't bring up the subject again, and I was grateful for that.

A random movie played on TV, but my mind was far away. I looked to the side and saw Adora sleeping with her mouth open. A piece of cookie rested on her cheek while her hand lay above her head. I silently chuckled, covering us and then turning off the TV.

A distant ringing sound caught my attention. I tapped around the couch until I found the phone under the cushion. My eyes automatically closed from the sudden contact with the bright screen, but just as they closed, they widened.

After the first notification, thousands started to show up. My heart throbbed in my chest as my body was flooded with nervousness.

"Min PD: Cassie, please tell me you're there."

"Joonie: Please respond. We're sorry. It wasn't our intention not to show up..." The message appeared cut off because I hadn't unlocked the phone yet.

"Hobierto: Believe us, Cassie. Please, we know you're awake. Answer us."

"Jinnie: Cassandra, we would never do anything to hurt you. Please let us explain."

"Mochi: Answer the phone."

After that message, a group call popped up on the screen. I stared at it, battling the urge to answer. I sighed deeply and threw the phone back onto the couch because no matter how much I wanted to talk to them, I was still hurt. I didn't want to answer and end up fighting. Saying things without thinking and ending up in a worse situation. The best thing to do now was to rest.

I made myself comfortable on the bed we had arranged on the floor, and put the pillow over my head to block out the notifications. When I didn't see any changes, I pressed the power button on my phone and confirmed it right away. I lay back down and took a deep breath. Tomorrow is a new day. Everything will be okay. ——————————————————

It wasn't even dawn when I heard knock after knock. Disoriented, I got up, searching for where the noise was coming from until my feet led me to the front door. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall and got irritated to see it was six past two in the morning.

I swung the door open, ready to argue with whoever had woken me up so early after going to bed so late, but I lost my voice when I saw the seven people I loved most staring at me ty forlornly.

I felt two arms embrace me tightly, followed by two more until I lost count. Desperate whispers for forgiveness echoed in my ear, making me feel loved... until a certain moment. Memories of what had happened the night before made me wake up from the sleep I didn't know I was in. Slowly, I distanced myself from the seven, able to see the tears streaming down some of their faces and sadness emanating from the others.

"Cassie..." Jimin starts. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't our intention to leave you alone in such a difficult time. Please, believe us."

"We didn't come here to lie to you, Cassandra..." Namjoon says. "It really wasn't our intention. I know this is going to sound completely wrong, but we made a promise to Ji-Hye. We promised to take her out to celebrate her birthday since she's far from her family and would probably celebrate alone," I try to hide a grimace.

They couldn't miss her birthday, but could miss mine.

"As soon as we finished eating, we were going to come straight here. And we really were, Cas, really. But the company called saying we had to go there to finalize the last details for the album. It was then that we sent several messages in the group, but you didn't see any."

"That's why we're here," Taehyung says, interrupting Namjoon. "Cassie, listen to me. You're one of the most important people in my life. Sorry if lately my actions haven't shown that, but please, please, Cas, don't be mad at us. I couldn't bear to know that you're upset because of me," he whispers.

"Go to the dorms tonight. Let's talk about this calmly," Hoseok suggests.

I remain silent for a few minutes.

"Come on, please. Hum? Hum?'' Tae shakes my arm. ''You'll go, right? Say yes," he asks.

"Okay," I sigh deeply. "I'll go."

I feel arms wrapping around my body again, and I relax, enjoying the contact. This time, the hug lasted only a few seconds. The boys said goodbye, saying they needed to be at the company in a few hours.

"Tonight at 7. We'll be waiting for you," Yoongi said and then left.

I closed the door, trying to contain my excitement and the obvious smile on my face. As I turned to go back to bed, I was startled to see only Adora's head peeking out from behind the couch. She had a radiant smile on her face as she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up," I say, making her laugh. ——————————————————

I look at the clock on the wall. It's 8:07 in the evening. Damn, I was late. I could already hear Adora's voice slowly emerging in my mind, saying that I should have listened to her and picked out my outfit earlier. Shaking my head, I focus on finishing getting ready. The last thing I needed right now was a lecture from my own mind.

I hear knocks and the doorbell ringing repeatedly.

"Shit," I mutter as I hop over to the door.

I try to put on my sock while walking to the door, but my unfailing plan soon becomes fallible when I trip over my own hand and fall on the floor. The knocks and the doorbell grow louder, and I feel irritation creeping in. "ALRIGHT, I'M COMING," I yell and pick myself up.

I walk back to the door with a pout and my hair completely tousled, covering my face. I take a deep breath, fix my hair, put on a fake smile, and finally open the door. As I see the seven people I love most in the world looking at me with confused faces, I feel my smile turn genuine, and the earlier irritation vanish as if it had never existed.

"Is everything okay? Why didn't you come?" I hear Taehyung ask as he scrutinizes me from head to toe."

"What happened? Something serious?" Seokjin asks, and I shake my head.

"No, guys, sorry. I almost died trying to choose a good outfit to wear and ended up running late, sorry," I explained laughing.

''What do you mean you almost died?" Jungkook asks as I watch their faces turn into a grimace."

"It was nothing, really," I reassure, taking a quick glance at Jungkook, who was holding back his laugh.

He knew it. I am sure he did.

"Are you sure you didn't... you know... fall on your ass?" he smirks. "I'm sure I heard a huge..."''

"Hobi," I said excitedly, "What do you have there?" I pointed to the bags he was carrying while Jungkook laughed.

That little prick.

''Food," he says, shaking the bags. ''We know how much you love eating''.

I chuckle and make way for them to enter. In a few minutes, the food was already on the coffee table, and an improvised bed was set up on the living room floor. I change into more comfortable clothes and join them.

"Look, before we start, we want you to know how sorry we are," Yoongi says.

"Yes... Sorry for not being there on the visitation's day," Jimin adds. "If there's anything you want to say, anything that's bothering you, please let us know. We'll fix it all, Cassie. ''he holds my hand.'' We want things to go back to how they used to be."

"We're here for you, Cas," Jin finishes, and I smile weakly.

I pause for a moment, feeling that it still wasn't the right time. So, I just sigh and shake my head.

"It's okay, guys. Really," I open with a smile. "Let's just watch this movie already. I'm dying to see who'll be the first one to cry and shake in fear like a little kitten." I say, trying to change the subject, and smirk when I realize it worked.

"I am sure it won't be me," Hoseok says with confidence. "Cause you know..." he shows off his muscles. "I'm a man," he pauses for a minute.

It doesn't take long until Hoseok's laughter fills the room, making everyone laugh.

"Who listens to him talking like this, doesn't even think the Gladiator sandal outside belongs to him," Jungkook says, making Hoseok look at him flabbergasted.

''Hey, what do you mean by that?'' he asks shookedt. ''It's fashionable''

"Yeah, Hobi. Sure is," Yoongi says, patting his shoulder.

''Why I don't believe you are being honest?'' Hoseok asks putting his finger under his chain. ''I'm going to expose you on Twitter. Or should I say X?''

''What? Are you into Xvideos?'' Namjoon asks as he returns.

Everybody stops and looks at him. When did he even leave to begin with?

"What were you doing, Joonie?" I ask, smirking at him. "Were you in the bathroom?" he nods as the rest of the boys laugh.

''Now we know why you are thinking naughtiness'' Jimin says.

Namjoon's face turns red as he shakes his hands nervously. He tries to sit down on the couch but somehow ends up falling on the ground. We can see his cellphone flying around the living room as he throws his arms in the air in an attempt to regain his balance, but it doesn't work, as expected.

''No need to be nervous, Joonie'' I say. ''Everybody masturbates once in a while.''

''Do we?'' Yoongi looks at me suspiciously.

"I mean," I chuckle nervously. "How did we even get to this conversation? Let's just watch the movie for God's sake."

"Nah, nah. Don't you try coming up with excuses," Tae says abruptly. "What do you mean by that? Are you dating someone?" Jungkook seems to be having fun as he opens a beer can.

''What? Me? Dating?'' I laugh. ''Not even close. But I can't say the same about Jungkook, can I?'' he chokes.

''Uh? What you on about?'' he asks as he cleans his mouth. ‘’Seven days a week, huh?’’ he burst into laughter. He pauses for a minute before smirking. "Hm, why's that, baby girl?" he says, leaning in my direction. "Are you jealous?" he asks, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Do you want me to…" he bites his lower lip. "You know," he says putting his finger on my lips. I can already feel the cringeness and second-hand embarrassment traveling throughout my body as the rest of the boys laugh. This prick. ‘’You really need to get out from twitter,’’ I say, shoving him away. ‘’The next step is to put up a black and white profile picture and call yourself a webdom’’ He raises both of his middle fingers in my direction before turning his attention back to the beer can. ‘’Are you guys done? Can I finally play this damn movie?’’ Yoongi asks, making everybody nod.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for them to leave. Unfortunately, they couldn't stay overnight. They had to leave very early the next day due to their schedule.

I hesitated to get up; I didn't want to accompany them to the door out of sheer laziness, and feeling Taehyung shaking me with his foot made me even more sluggish.

"If you keep doing that, I swear I'll fall asleep," I say, making him huff.

"Come on, sloth imitation. Take us to the door," Jimin says, but gives up when he sees Jungkook lying next to me.

"Jungkook, I'm sure you really like your video game, right?" Seokjin asks, and in a jump, Jungkook gets up.

"Are you really not taking us to the door?" Yoongi asks, and I remain silent. "Okay then."

When I open my eyes to see what he was going to do, I feel an arm gather and squeeze my legs while a hand starts tickling my feet furiously.

"JESUS!" I scream in surprise.

I heard laughter as I fought for my life. The strange feeling that tickling brought made me confused if I was laughing because I found it funny or if it was fear messing up my nervous system. The laughter increased as I writhed and screamed for help.

"YOONGI, YOU JERK!" I said without realizing that I was actually yelling.

"Weren't you sleepy?" Yoongi asks. "So, I'm trying to help you."

"WAIT UNTIL I GET UP, YOU PIECE OF BROWN SUGAR, I'M GOING TO END YOU."

"Are you going to take us to the door?" he asks.

"OKAY, OKAY, I'LL TAKE YOU, JUST STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD," I yell.

I feel my body calm down and my brain start functioning again as the tickling ceases. I looked at Yoongi who was laughing while sniffing his hand.

"Ew, you have smelly feet," he says, and I get up.

"Come here, you little jerk," I chase after him as he runs away mocking me.

After a few seconds, I could already feel that the 70% of water in my body had evaporated and the air in my lungs was scarce. When did my body become so sedentary?

"Idiot," I curse Yoongi who laughs. "I hate you."

"I love you too, beautiful thing," I hear him say.

Finally, I accompany them to the door. After a lazy farewell, I see them about to leave, but a click in my mind makes me stop them.

"As you know, I graduated from college, but since it was at the time when my father died, I didn't have any enthusiasm to celebrate. Adora recommended that I have a celebration the day after tomorrow night, since it's the weekend. Just to not let it go unnoticed. So... you guys are invited."

"We'll be here, don't worry," Namjoon says, and I smile nodding.

We say goodbye again, and this time, I see them leave. Seeing the elevator door close, I go back inside the house. The smile on my face never leaves me for a second, and finally, after so long, I could feel that things would really be okay.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Thanks to Adora, everything was organized on time. The food was ordered since neither she nor I wanted anyone to die from food poisoning. The time we ended up in the hospital the day we cooked for each other was enough. No need to repeat the dose.

I check the time on my phone and see it's 8pm. They would arrive at any moment, so I sit next to Adora on the couch to chat until then.

☂ ☂

Some time passed, and the boys still hadn't arrived. I look at the time again and see that it's 9:46. I try not to think the worst and choose to believe they would be here soon.

☂ ☂

I sigh deeply at seeing what time it is: 11:14. I try to ignore Adora's pitying look and get up from the couch. I suppress the tears once again. I am tired of crying. And more than ever, I realize that they don't deserve my tears.

"Cassandra..." Adora calls me, and I look at her. "I'm sure there's an explanation for this. Something must have happened at the company, and they couldn't let us know." I shake my head.

Something inside me told me that wasn't it, and I decided to trust my intuition.

"Adora, can you take me to the dorm?," I ask softly. "I don't think I'll have the courage to go alone," I weakly smile, and she nods.

"Of course, my love. Of course..." ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The car journey lasted less than I wished. My mind was constantly clouded by memories, anxiety making the painful memories hurt twice as much. I laughed in disbelief. I wondered what I had done wrong to deserve this.

"Thank you for bringing me," I look at Adora. "And thank you for always being by my side in difficult times. If I felt supported and loved, be sure that it's all because of you. You're an amazing person, Adora, and I hope you know that." she smiles.

"Regardless of what happens there, remember that you are enough. Not for them, but for yourself. Don't belittle yourself for them, Cassie, and don't let the love you feel for them speak louder than your self-love. If you survived two hellish months without their presence, be sure that you can live your life and be immensely happy in the future without them. I guarantee you that," I feel her hand squeezing mine for comfort, and I smile. "I'll be waiting for you here," I nod.

I get out of the car, feeling Adora's words take effect. I walk bravely towards the towering building, ignoring every feeling of nostalgia trying to invade me. I couldn't lose focus now.

Arriving on their dorm's floor, I feel my heart skip a beat. I pause for a moment and try to put my thoughts and feelings in order. Seeing no result, I lean against the wall and try in every way to avoid a panic attack that was about to come. As if it were a heavenly help, I feel my phone vibrate. With trembling hands, I pick it up and see a message from Adora.

"Don't forget, you are strong and capable. And never for a moment think you are alone, because I'm here for you."

I clutch my phone tightly. Adora is right. I am strong and I am capable. I can do this because regardless of what happens, I will be okay.

I take a deep breath, gathering all the strength and courage from my being, and knock on the door. I freeze when I realize what I've done, but I quickly compose myself. I will be okay.

A few seconds passed and no one answered, so I knocked again. But just like the first time, there was no response. After the third attempt, I decide to enter. Typing the password on the door, I entered the dormitory.

Upon realizing that there was no one in the main hall, the pounding of my heart calmed down. I begin to walk through the dormitory, recalling every good moment I had with my boys. I feel the sadness emanating in my chest once again.

I really didn't want to lose them.

As I walked down the corridor, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I started walking with firm steps, but I felt my legs waver when I heard a female voice among their voices. It was her.

"Jungkook-oppa, you're so silly," I hear her delicate laughter, feeling jealousy burning in my chest.

It should be me there.

"The silly you love," I hear Jungkook reply.

I could hear the happiness in his voice. It was as if they didn't need anyone else at the moment but her. And that made me hate her, but my own mind scolded me. She is not worthy of my hatred. She is as innocent as I am in this story. She did nothing to hurt me, so why would I hate her?

"Hinnie," I hear Hoseok's voice.

Hinnie...

"Try it and tell me what you think."

There was a moment of pause until applause and sounds of appreciation were made.

"It's amazing, oppa," she says. "You really keep improving in the kitchen every day."

Unable to bear it anymore, I think of simply turning around and leaving, but something catches my attention. And it was precisely there, in that moment, that I regretted staying.

"Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?" I hear Taehyung say, and I feel my body tremble.

Once again, there was a pause until someone shouted.

"Shit, really," Jimin said. "We forgot to take the drinks out of the freezer."

I feel my heart break, as if that were possible. I let out a disbelieving laugh and finally come out from where I was hiding.

"And try more of this," Hoseok suddenly stops. "Cassie..."

I hear the sound of something falling to the ground. Soon, everyone was staring at me wide-eyed. I repress the urge to laugh. I realize how messy my whole body was the moment I wanted to laugh and not cry.

"Oh no," Jimin says, as if remembering something. "The party."

With that said, everyone becomes even more desperate. Seeing them approaching, I panic.

"Don't come near,"

They quickly stop. I see them not knowing what to do. And it wasn't just them. I end up getting disoriented with so much pressure. Where did my courage go when I needed it most?

"Um... what's going on?" she asks, and I close my eyes.

It's not her fault. It's not her fault...

"Ji-Hye, could you leave us alone for a moment?" Namjoon asks.

"Yes, of course. It's time for me to leave anyway," she gets up. "I'll see you later," she says bowing both to them and to me.

After she left, silence hung in the air. I tried to hold back my laughter, but when I saw everyone's confused faces, I knew I had failed. When I noticed that no one was going to say anything, I took the initiative.

"Do you know what's more disappointing? It's that I really thought this time would be different," I shrug. "I guess I was wrong, wasn't I?"

"Cas..."

"Do you remember when you asked me if I had something to say, Jinnie? If something was hurting me? Well, I do, and I hope I won't be interrupted."

With no response, I continue.

"I feel like I died. It's been a while since I am just surviving," I start. "The fact that you didn't come to the visitation isn't the part that hurts the most, it's that you weren't there when my father passed away. I remember how desperate I was, and the only people I could think of were you. But you weren't there. Damn, you didn't even call." I whisper as tears fall freely down my face. "When I found myself alone in the hospital, realizing that the person who adopted me and chose me to love had died, that was my first death. The person who loved me, who looked beyond language or race barriers, and who taught me everything I know had suddenly left, without even giving me a chance to say goodbye. Do you know how I felt? Devastated."

I pause for a moment. Melancholy takes over my body as I recall all the feelings I felt that day, and for a moment, I allow myself to cry all I needed. I sob so much that I thought I might choke. Without caring about looks or pity, I just allowed myself, knowing that everything would be okay.

"When I called the only people I thought I could count on, and they told me they were coming, I didn't feel so alone," I let out a humorless laugh. "Until I realized that those people never arrived. The people who always said they would be there for me weren't there when I needed them the most. That was my second death," I look at Jin. "Don't say these things to anybody if they are not coming from your heart. Don't hurt anyone else by saying you have their backs or that you will always be there for them when in reality it's not the truth."

I look at each one. Their gazes were distant, as if they were reliving every moment.

"You know, I don't want you to think I'm mad at Park Ji-Hye. Actually, quite the opposite. I was really happy when you said you met someone nice. Someone who really cared about you and genuinely wanted your friendships. I know how tough it is for you to find real friendships with all the fame, so I felt fulfilled too. I remember telling daddy excitedly, and he laughed at my excitement, happy for you and for me. Right after that, I lost him, and little by little, I lost you too, like I was meant to be alone," I smile weakly. "I am sorry if I'm being selfish, but that's how I feel. You guys forgot my birthday. Forgot the visitation days, and to top it off, you forgot my graduation party. It's like you replaced me as if I never even existed in your lives, and that really hurts. Really.''

I finish, and only then I realize they were crying with me. Some didn't have the courage to meet my gaze. We spent a few minutes without anyone saying anything. The only thing filling the air was the sound of our sniffles and sobs.

"On the day your father died," Namjoon begins. "We felt like we had lost a family member because he was, in fact, one. I am truly sorry, Cas, but for me, Park Ji-Hye's fall was an escape. I didn't want to face reality. I wouldn't know how to react to the loss of someone so special, and I also wouldn't know how to act with you," he looks at me.

"On your birthday, we thought you would like to be alone. It would be the first without your father, so we didn't know what to do, Cassie. We panicked," Jimin sighs. "But now I realize how you felt," he laughs humorlessly. "My God, I never thought I'd be such a horrible friend. What a disappointment," he whispers, covering his face with his hand.

"On visitation days," I look at Hoseok. "I confess that I clung to any opportunity not to go, Cas," he cries. "Not because I didn't love you. I love you, and I love you very much, but I never knew how to react to death. The only two times I entered a cemetery, I spent the rest of the week feeling bad, with depressive thoughts. I also couldn't let Armys worry. I didn't want their 'Sun' to lose its brightness. I am so sorry for not being able to tell you this before. I didn't want to seem selfish."

I suppress a disbelieving laugh.

"Hearing all this, I realize how futile our apologies seem," Yoongi laughs weakly. "But they are true, Cassie... I understand what Hoseok says. You know about my history with depression, don't you?" he asks, and I nod. "It's the same thing for me. If I enter a cemetery, my thoughts don't stop. Some come in a worse form, and I feel like I'm going crazy."

"We were selfish, Cas," Seokjin says. "I was. I didn't want Armys to see us sad because I knew the chaos it would be. I have no words to express how special you are to me," he pauses. "Cassie, you are my sister, my family. You weren't crying alone; I cried with you. I just couldn't show it. I knew it would be worse if I saw you cry, just like I am seeing now."

There was a moment of silence. Until his voice broke.

"I am sorry," Taehyung says. "Damn, I don't even know what to say, Cassie. You are one of the most precious people I have ever met. I remember how you stayed with us through thick and thin. I also remember how happy you were for us at the beginning, and I know the genuine happiness you felt when we received our first award. You stood by my side when my grandma passed away. How could I not be by your side too? My God," he puts his hand on his head in an act of despair. "You stayed by our side when we thought about disbanding. It was you who helped us see why we are here, who helped us find reasons to stay," he looks at me anxiously. "How could I be so selfish?"

"We thought that regardless of anything, you would always be by our side. That you would understand us, even with our deplorable attitudes. We always thought we would have you next to us, so we neglected you," Yoongi shakes his head. I feel like he answered more to Taehyung than to me. "Damn, anjinho, I'm sorry," I lower my head as I hear him call me by the nickname I loved so much.

"The fact that we started a new friendship also influenced us," Jungkook says. "We were so excited that someone, besides you, wanted a friendship without interest that without realizing it, we put aside the one that had been with us from the beginning," I hear Jungkook say muffled, as his two hands covered his face.

"We don't deserve you, Cassandra. We left you at the most difficult moment of your life, and yet you never stopped loving us," Yoongi pulls his own hair, a habit he always did when he was nervous. "We can't let you leave thinking that we don't care about you because, Cassie, that would be a complete lie. With the stress of the comeback, things only got worse. It was rehearsal, recording, agendas to fulfill, productions, trips, tours. Our minds were a mess, and Park Ji-Hye tried to help us from there. We know she's not the one to blame, and it's not your fault either. It's ours and only ours. I know this will seem like a lame excuse, but I didn't want to let you go thinking that you aren't precious to us. You are Cas. And you always will be."

I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. If before I felt bad, now I feel ten times worse. It seemed like I didn't even know them anymore. The feeling of comfort they made me feel was replaced by anguish. By sadness.

I open my eyes, and for the last time, I look at my boys. I realize that Taehyung understood my gaze.

"Cassie, please... Please don't..." Taehyung starts, but is interrupted by Seokjin.

"Don't you dare say what I think you're going to say."

"But I can't lose her, Hyung. I can't lose her," Taehyung says, crouching down.

I think about going to him, but then I retreat my body. If I do that, I know my heart will weaken, and at the moment, the only person I need to think about is myself.

"I'm sorry, hyung, but I'll be selfish," Namjoon says to Seokjin, and I look at him confused. "I don't know what your decision will be, Cassie. I'll support you, even if you choose to leave without our friendship. But I beg you... Cassandra, I implore you, try to find in yourself a little piece that doesn't want to give up on us. It doesn't have to be now. I want you to heal, and I don't care how long it takes. The only thing I ask is that you don't forget us and don't give up on us. Come back to us when you feel ready. I don't want to lose you, Cas. I..."

"I really hope you find a way to forgive us, Cassie. But understand that if you don't, we'll understand. You, more than anyone else, have every right to hate us," Yoongi says, interrupting Namjoon. "I hope you don't forget about us because, with all my heart, we won't forget about you."

I feel my heart shattering with every tear that falls on their faces. I smile weakly. I will really miss them.

I bow in a sign of respect, and as I return to my normal position, I raise my hand to my heart.

"Thank you, my boys. For all the good moments. You were a very important part of my life, which I will carry forever. I will never forget about all of you," I smile faintly. "How could I forget my first true friendships? My first loves?" I whisper.

I take a breath and smile. A true smile. A smile of gratitude.

"Regardless of what happened, you guys deserve nothing but love and happiness. Don't let anyone say otherwise. Even far away, please remember I will always be cheering for your success. And whenever you feel unloved, remember I love you. Very, very much.'' I can hear their sobs getting stronger. ''Don't think I blame you for what happened; I think I finally understand that life has its ups and downs. People come and unfortunately go," I see Taehyung desperate, trying to find something to say. I look away. I need to be strong. "I hope that every day your friendship with Park Ji-Hye grows, and that you take from all of this a lesson.''

I take a deep breath, looking at them for the last time.

''From the bottom of my heart... I wish you to be immensely happy."

In a gesture, I send thousands of kisses. I see Tae wanting to approach, so I turn around and start walking towards the exit, and this time, I don't cry. I feel the weight of sadness in my chest, but the weight of peace for having put everything I felt out was greater. And for the first time in two months, I believe it when I say that everything will be okay.

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alovesongtheywrote · 7 months

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i feel like everyone's gonna be asking for this but i'm gonna need a nightmare academia part 912828277 if that's how long it'll take for those two to finally kiss

♥ Summary: will you settle for them very briefly holding hands? in this chapter of nightmare academia, reid and the reader shut down a party and lie to the police. [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]

♥ Warnings: the reader cries over the two-headed calf poem, spencer wants to throw himself out a window, the cops show up and. are cops. discussions of sex, drug use and alcohol consumption in passing, and i think that's it?

♥ A/N: ough, this is gonna be the last happy chapter for a while- but it isn't gonna be sad in the way you're expecting :/

♥ Word Count: 3341

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

So. You were right. Reid’s friends wanted you to fuck- and they weren’t the only ones. They weren’t the only ones by a long shot.

Since the first bet had been placed, the betting pool on whether or not you and Reid were doing it had only grown. There were more things to bet on now, too- who topped, who bottomed, whether the two of you used handcuffs from Reid’s FBI days, etc. Your students were degenerates.

Your co-workers were running their own bets. Professors Evans and Peters had a running bet on whether or not the whole affair was a friends with benefits thing. Other professors made a game of seeing how many times a day you and Reid would visit each other’s offices.

The head of the criminology department, Professor Belker, assumed the two of you had some sort of secret relationship- and she was generally fine with that. She just wished you and Reid wouldn’t cause so many disturbances about it.

About a week after the George Michael incident (which only ended after you and Reid got someone to smash the musical mechanism) you and Reid were called into Professor Belker’s office for a meeting about your behaviour.

The meeting took place later in the evening. Reid arrived fifteen minutes early. You arrived five minutes late. You were also crying.

Upon seeing you, your co-workers stood. Concern rose in Belker’s chest, but panic rose in Reid’s. You were crying. You shouldn’t be crying. Reid decided there and then that he didn’t like seeing you cry.

“Professor (L/N)? Is everything okay?” Belker asked as you took a seat next to Reid.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Professor Reid just put that one poem about the two-headed calf in my office.”

It had been a prank- just a prank to lower your mood. He knew that the poem would upset you, but it wasn’t supposed to do this. You weren’t supposed to cry-

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine in like-” you checked your wrist. When you noticed your lack of watch, you grabbed Reid’s wrist instead, “Five minutes.”

“Reid.”

Spencer had heard that tone before- it was the one Hotch used when he got a little too invested in cases, or when he acted out of line and spit hard facts at local cops.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you-”

“Reid, it’s fine, I swear, I just-” you sniffed, “The cow is just a baby, you guys. As he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual. No matter how many times I read that damn thing, I always end up crying. I don’t know why.”

You were trying to be professional, but it was really hard. That poem is so fucking sad.

“Did- did you know that crying has a self-soothing effect? It activates your parasympathetic nervous system which helps you to relax-”

“Reid, please-” Belker held up a hand, to stop him, but you held up a hand to stop her.

“No,” you took a deep breath, “Let him talk, I brought this on myself. Besides, it’s helping.”

Spencer perked up at the instruction. He quickly looked to his superior for permission, but before could even begin to nod her consent, he was spouting off facts about tears in a way that only Spencer Reid could. He didn’t stop until there was a smile on your face.

He smiled back.

“Well, now that you’ve calmed down, can we move on to the true purpose of this meeting?” Belker raised her eyebrow. She had posed her words as a question, but you both knew that she was making a statement.

“Yes, we can, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just- maybe don’t read that poem during any classes.”

You tapped at your chair sheepishly, “Absolutely.”

Belker nodded at you and drew in a long, slow breath, “Now, I understand that the two of you have a… unique working relationship.”

She paused. In the space she left behind, you and Reid nodded.

“Now, this is fine. Whatever is going on between you is none of my business. As long as everything is reported to HR in an appropriate and timely manner, it doesn’t matter to me. With that said,” the woman leaned forward, eyebrows rising again, “I need to be sure that the two of you can work together- without disturbing the student body at large.”

“Of course we can, I apologize for previous inconveniences,” Reid kept his voice calm, though internally, he kinda wanted to fling himself out the window- it would spare him of any and all future embarrassment. It might also spare him from making you cry again.

“I apologize also- and I would like to make it known that I didn’t know the George Michael music wouldn’t stop. The mechanism was supposed to shut off once the cabinet closed, I don’t know what-”

Belker gave you a look that stopped you in your tracks.

“Again, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Just as long as the two of you can-”

Then, from the distance- a funky pop beat cut off the distinguished professor halfway through her sentence. The song was loud enough to make you jump, but quiet enough that you couldn't quite make out what it was.

Belker rose from her desk and turned her gaze to the window, glaring off into the night. You followed her gaze. There, standing out in the middle of the darkened campus, was a rainbow glow of light. It radiated out from one of the frat buildings. If you focused, you could hear the cheers of drunk students echoing off the various buildings and into the dark.

You expected Belker to give an exhausted sigh, or to roll her eyes at the nature of college kids, but when she turned, a smile lit up her face.

“This is the perfect opportunity. (L/N), Reid, I want you to take care of this.”

“Excuse me?” you asked, tilting your head. Belker ignored your question.

“Professor Reid, you have a history with law enforcement, yes?”

Spencer nodded, not saying a word. Belker’s smile grew, reaching her eyes and setting tiny fires inside them- or maybe that was just the reflection of the lights outside.

“Perfect. If the two of you can take care of this without incident, then I’ll know for sure that the two of you can work together, and no one will have to be moved to a different department.”

“Was that on the table?”

“Don’t mind that now. Just go deal with this before someone in the neighbourhood calls the police.”

It was a valid concern. You stood quickly, giving your superior a two-fingered salute. Reid followed behind you with less enthusiasm. Once the two of you were out of her office, Belker grinned to herself. Was this whole thing an effort to make you and Reid go out to a place that was not college? Perhaps. Whether or not it was, that was something she would keep to herself.

You and Reid wandered through the darkened campus side by side, heading to the rainbow-coloured lights of the frat house. Honestly, they were pretty hard to miss- and even if you had, you could always follow the sound. Music blared, echoing in the air with the excited shouts of students. You still couldn’t make out the song’s lyrics. At that point, you were pretty sure they were Swedish.

In opposition to the noise of the party, you, Spencer, and the rest of the campus were mostly silent. Your footsteps echoed off the various buildings. The pavement before you was illuminated by shitty outdoor lights, the rainbow light from the frat house, and the few classroom windows that remained lit at this hour.

Your tears had long since dried, but your skin still felt a little tacky in the light evening breeze. Beside you, Reid’s gaze was glued to the ground. He had been silent since he made his apology, and you were mostly fine with that. In your opinion, there wasn’t much to talk about.

“I’m sorry I made you cry.”

Apparently, you were wrong. “Hey, don’t mention it. You fixed me, remember?” you gently rammed your shoulder against his, “All your crying facts made things better. Besides, I’m gonna get you back for it. That’s a promise.”

“Good.”

When you turned to face him, he had a small smile on his face. You counted that as a success. You shifted your gaze back to the pavement in front of you, walking with an extra spring in your step.

“Do you think Belker was serious about making one of us change departments?” he asked.

“Probably not. But if she was, you don’t have to worry. I’m the one that would have to move.”

“Oh?” Spencer raised an eyebrow. He knew about your degrees. He knew you were a good professor. He just didn’t know why you were so confident that you would be the one to switch departments.

“Mhmm. You have how many years of experience in law enforcement? A million? Two million?”

“Hey, I’m not that old-”

“You dress like you’re that old. Seriously. I can imagine you teaching dinosaurs about the concept of psychopathy. I’m sure they’d all come away much smarter.”

Reid paused before letting out a very confused, “Thank you?”

“Don’t mention it.”

The two of you walked in silence for a few moments before Reid turned to face you again, “For what it’s worth, you could teach anything. You could teach the phone book and your students would learn something.”

“So could you. Quick, give me a fact about the phone book.”

He didn’t even hesitate, “The first phone book was published in 1878- hey, wait-”

“See? Honestly, if they let you, you could probably do both our jobs and teach a course about the phone book.”

“I doubt that. Besides, if anyone were to teach a course about a book, wouldn’t it be the person with a doctorate in English?”

“Don’t accuse me of being literate. Besides, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m kind of dumb. I got into teaching by mistake. Honestly, I kind of got my doctorates by mistake. So if one of us is going to teach a course about a phone book-”

“Wait, what do you mean you got them by mistake?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t really- it didn’t feel like I put in the same amount of effort as everyone else. It just kind of happened to me,” you stopped walking, “Anyway. Here’s the source of the noise.”

On your left, the frat house stood in all its rainbow glory. Spencer was so invested in your conversation that he had almost missed it.

“So,” you leaned towards him slightly, just to make sure he could hear you, “How do you want to do this?”

“Should we find someone and ask them to turn the music down?”

You looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “You can try that. I’m just gonna turn the music down myself.”

Before he could stop you, you had already disappeared, vanishing behind the massive doors of the house and leaving Spencer alone and out of his element. He wasn’t alone for long. About two minutes after you left, a chant rose from inside the house. At first, he couldn’t quite make it out, but then he heard it clearly-

The second you got inside, you felt the overstimulation starting to creep in. There were bodies everywhere. The stench of alcohol and weed hung in the air like a cloud of smog. It was bright- far too bright, and the strobe effect that the lights took on was almost enough to trigger an epilepsy attack. The music was deafening, but you could somehow hear snippets of conversation over it as you wandered through the house.

“Oh, they’re totally fucking.”

“Hey man, pass the chips!”

“WHERE IS MY BOOOONG?”

“Don’t speculate on them, they’re your professors!” that was Opal’s voice.

“Let’s stay in the building. It’s too fuckin cold outside.”

“It’s fall. What did you expect?”

“I don’t know, man. The elf subplot in those books is so fucking weird.”

“Dude, you wouldn’t even have to pay me to fuck him. Professor Sexy is just that- Professor Sexy.”

“He looks like a long Victorian child, dying from the plague.”

(Technically, if he were Victorian, it would be tuberculosis. You kept the thought internal and continued to search for the speakers.)

“Dude, I got pulled over the other day and I hadn’t done a damn thing wrong. Why? Oh, you already know why.”

“Fuck the police!”

The sound was small- and it was so loud in the room that you assumed if you repeated it, no one would hear you. Your opinion would be lost among a thousand screaming voices.

So, you said it.

“Fuck the police.”

Within seconds, the house devolved into chaos. Kids were standing on tables and couches, doing the worm and grinding on each other, all while yelling, “Fuck the police.”

By the time you found the speakers, you were laughing too hard to properly turn the music down.

So at first, you turned it up.

Outside, Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose. This had to be your payback- your revenge for him making you cry. Honestly, he wasn’t even upset. Just impressed. Then he heard the sirens. Blue and red lights flashed against the house, against the other buildings on and around the campus. Someone had called the police.

Students swarmed out of the building, running across the campus and back to their dorms with bongs, beers, and snacks in hand, all while chanting, “Fuck the police.”

Spencer didn’t see your face among the crowd. As the officers stepped out of their cruiser, their faces red with emotion at the chant, Spencer darted into the house. He slipped between students, searching the faces that passed him for you.

He used his height to his advantage. It helped.

When he found you, you were slumped over a speaker, cackling so hard that you couldn’t stand straight. Your face lit up when you saw him. Spencer could feel something warm fill his chest, and he tried very hard to kill it, just as you tried very hard to school your expression back to something less luminous.

You both failed.

“Are you hearing this Reid? I didn’t even plan it, they just started saying, ‘Fuck the police.’”

“That’s great, that’s so cool, the cops are here.”

In less than a second, the smile dropped from your face. When you spoke again, the joy had been stripped from your voice. You sounded terrified.

“What?”Without another word, Reid grabbed your wrist and pulled you outside. There, you watched as the police tried their very best to stop any students they could. They didn’t manage to catch many- they did, however, manage to grab Opal.

You watched as one of the cops grabbed her arm, her face screwing up in a wince at his grip. Her braids flew out behind her as the officer pulled her closer. You jumped down the stairs, practically running towards your student. Without a word, Spencer followed you.

The cop saw you coming. Opal saw you, too. He let her go, and she ran towards you, stopping a few feet ahead.

“Are you okay?” you asked, just brushing the top of her shoulder with your fingertips in an effort to keep her steady, “Is everything okay? Can you get back to your dorm safely?”

She nodded at you, quickly reaching up to pat your hand.

“Okay, go. Don’t be afraid to call campus security.”

Like a flash, the girl was off, racing towards her dorm. When you turned back, Reid was staring at you.

“What?” you asked, pulling your arms across your chest protectively.

“It’s nothing.”

The cop- the one who had grabbed Opal so harshly- did not agree with that statement.

“Just what do you think you’re doing? I could bring you in on obstruction of justice!”

“Shutting down this party,” you answered, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Responding to a noise complaint,” the officer spoke to you like you were stupid, “I was going to apprehend that subject for questioning. Can you not smell the illicit substances?”

“Okay, well, she’s gone now. And the source of the noise has clearly gone silent. The party has dispersed, so it looks like you won’t have to apprehend anyone.”

You were right. The campus had gone dead silent. Someone had shut off the lights, too, leaving you, Reid, and the cops with only the shitty campus lights and the blue and red glow from the police cruiser.

Still, the cop glared at you, “And what do you know about police work?”

“Well, y’know. I just have doctorates in criminology and law. No big deal.”

The man looked you up and down, clearly judging you, “I have a hard time believing that.”

“Why is that?” Reid stepped forward, putting himself between you and the officer, “Dr. (L/N) is well respected in their field. They’ve written numerous in-depth papers on the benefits and downsides of various policing policies and criminal justice strategies. Their conclusions are always brilliant, and your field would improve if officers like you would bother to examine their research.”

A blush crept onto your face as you listened to Reid. Did he really think so highly of you? Of your work?

“If you ask me,” the cop spoke again, “All you academics are a bunch of useless degenerates. I have half a mind to-!”

“OH MY GOD, YOU’RE THAT FBI GUY!!” the cop’s partner cut him off, “You were on the team that took down The Silencer!! And the Seattle Strangler!! Oh, I have so many questions.”

Beside you, Reid noticeably tensed up in discomfort. Without thinking about it too much, you grabbed his hand.

“Unfortunately, Dr. FBI guy is currently suffering from a bout of retrograde amnesia- sadly, he remembers nothing from his FBI days. If you want your questions answered, I recommend contacting Derek Morgan, he’s lovely to criminal justice students!”

You pulled Reid away before either cop could respond to your final cry of, “Have a nice night!”

Neither you nor Spencer realized you were still holding hands until you reached the main building. Until then, his long fingers sat intertwined with yours like they belonged there.

Your face burned as you pulled away from him. In the quiet of the atrium, you both fell silent. The only sound was the buzzing of the fluorescent lights above.

“I fucking hate fluorescent lights,” you weren’t sure why you said it. It really came out of nowhere, and you were just starting to regret it when-

“Really? So do I. That's why I can’t stand hospitals.”

“Oh, I get that.”

The two of you smiled. You had probably agreed on things before, but for some reason, this felt like the first time.

“Hey, thanks for having my back earlier,” you crossed your arms and swayed back and forward slightly.

“Ah, it’s no problem. I meant it.”

Heat rose to your face again, but before you could ask him if he really did mean it, he was speaking again.

“Thanks for getting us out of there when you did. I’m not in the mood to answer questions about grisly murders right now.”

“Damn it,” you grinned, “I was just going to ask about the worst cases you’ve seen. Oh well, I’ll leave it for another night.”

“I appreciate your sacrifice.” “My sacrifice? It’s basic decency, Spencer.”

The smile on his face matched yours.

Meanwhile, back at Quantico, Penelope Garcia was not smiling. In fact, she was grimacing. She had accidentally gazed upon some gorey case details and it had kind of ruined her night- at least, it had until she saw just where the murders had taken place.

She dialled a number into her phone- Morgan picked up on the first ring.

“What’s up, baby girl? Do we have a case?”

“We do! And you’ll never guess where.”

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #x reader #nightmare academia

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cecilebutcher · 1 year

Text

ღLove Songs I Associate With Different Twst Charactersღ

Characters: All of the nrc students minus ortho(plus some of my Oc’s because I can)

Riddle rosehearts: Photograph by, Cody Fry

“If I wished myself a superpower. I would make this moment last for hours. If I had my will, time would just stand still. Wait for me until I find some magic film. To take a photograph and live inside. The sun is going down. Your skin is like a painting. The light is perfect now. But I can feel it changing”

Trey Clover: To you from me by, Naethan Apollo

“See, your smile makes me smile, no, that's cringe. Your laugh makes me laugh, that's even worse. If my journey on this path could ever lead to losing you. I know which path is not my path. You're a blessing from the sky. You're the thief that stole my mind. You're the reason why I think of you all the time. You're the little tiny bug that found its way inside my ear. And now I can't think a thought. without wishing you were here”

Cater Diamond: Loverboy by, A-Wall

“Kill the lights. Oh, baby, close your eyes. The way you're looking at me. You've got me mesmerized. Something I can't escape. Feel like I'm lost in space. You've got that good loving. Girl, if you leave me I might throw my heart away. You know my heart can't take the break. Nothing will ever be the same. We'll meet again some other day. Oh, yeah””

Ace Trappola: Best Friend by, laufey

“But I promise that I love you. Even with that hair-do. I'm sorry I made fun of it. It's not your fault it looks like shit. I have never tolerated someone for so long. I've never laughed so much. I haven't written a sad song. There's no one else. I'd rather fall asleep with and dream with. You're my best friend in the world”

Deuce Spade: Best Friend by, rex Orange County

“And that's because I wanna be your favorite boy. I wanna be the one that makes your day. The one you think about as you lie awake. I can't wait to be your number one. I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine. But I still wanna break your heart and make you cry”

Leona Kingscholar: Nothing Bruno Major

“There's not many people.I'd honestly say I don't mind losing to but there's nothing like doing nothing with you. Dumb conversations. We lose track of time. Have I told you lately. I'm grateful you're mine. We'll watch The Notebook. For the 17th time. I'll say "It's stupid". Then you'll catch me crying”

Ruggie Butchie: Absolutely Smitten by, dodie

“That girl just there, yes, she's the one. With Cupid's arrow in her bum. Handsome stranger, you have made her happy. The first in a long time. Did you just whisper in her ear? Words she only dreamed to hear? Pretty lady, look at how he's smiling. I think he likes you”

Jack Howl: This side of paradise by, Coyote Theory

“Are you lonely? (Are you lonely?). Our fingers dancing when they meet. You seem so lonely (are you lonely?). I'll be the only dream you seek. So if you're lonely, no need to show me. If you're lonely, come be lonely with me. Lonely (are you lonely?). Passion is crashing as we speak. You seem so lonely (are you lonely?). You're the ground my feet won't reach. So if you're lonely, darling you're glowing. If you're lonely, come be lonely with me”

Azul Ashengrotto: Only girl by, Stephen Sanchez

“Baby, won't you be my girl Baby, won't you be my girl? Baby, won't you be my only girl Baby, won't you be my girl? Your love, that's got my head in a. twirl, lady. So baby, won't you be my only girl?I don't want nobody else. No, I just want you to myself,So,won't you please forever be my only girl Only girl”

Jade Leech: Mine by, Bazzi

“Hands on your body, I don't wanna waste no time. Feels like forever even if. forever's tonight. Just lay with me, waste this night away with me. You're mine, I can't look away, I just gotta say. I'm so fucking happy you're alive (huh, yeah). Swear to God, I'm down if you're. down, all you gotta say is right (yeah, yeah)”

Floyd Leech: Until I found you by, Stephen Sanchez and Em Beihold

“I would rather die than let you go. Juliet to your Romeo. How I heard you say”I would never fall in love again until I found her". I said, "I would never fall unless it's you I fall into" I was lost within thе darkness, but then I found her.I found you”

Kalim Al-Asim: Paper Rings by, Taylor Swift

“Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night. (Oh!) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright. Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life.( One, two, one two three four!). I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings. Uh huh, that's right. Darling, you're the one I want. I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this”

Jamil Viper: I wanna be yours by, Arctic Monkeys

“Secrets I have held in my heart. Are harder to hide than I thought. Maybe I just wanna be yours. I wanna be yours. I wanna be yours. I wanna be yours. Wanna be yours. Wanna be yours. Wanna be yours. Let me be your 'leccy meter. And I'll never run out. Let me be the portable heater. That you'll get cold without”

Vil Shoenheit: La seine by, Vanessa Paradise

“She's resplendent, so confident. La Seine, La Seine, La Seine. I realize, I'm hypnotized. La Seine, La Seine, La Seine. I hear the moon singing a tune. La Seine, La Seine, La Seine. Is she divine, Is it the wine. La Seine, La Seine, La Seine”

Rook Hunt: Ma belle Evangeline by, Jim Cummings

“Look how she lights up the sky. Ma Belle Evangeline. So far above me, yet I. Know her heart belongs to only me. Je t'adore, Je t'aime Evangeline. You're my queen of the night. So still. So bright. That someone as beautiful as she. Could love someone like me Love always finds a way it's true. And I love you, Evangeline”

Epel Felmier: I’d rather be me (with you) by, Rebecca Sugar

“… I'd rather be me with you. Wherever we go. I already trust. I'd know what to do if it were us. I'd know what to say. I'd know how to be. I'd know your entire syllabus. I can't think of any other thing in the world I would rather do. If I could be. I'd rather be me with you”

Idia Shroud: Numbers by, TEMPOREX

“Things just really aren't that bad. I got a nice mom and I got a cool dad. I just stay in my room too long. But I finally got a girlfriend, and she's the bomb”

Malleus Draconia:100 years by, OR3O

“They call me crazy. They call me mad. It'd been so many years I could barely stand. But I remember the days we had and the bad days start to disappear. I hope the best though I'm no longer here. Musical kittens make me think of you Every little thing here makes me think of you. So I wrote this little song hoping you would hear someday. It's been a hundred years and I am still in love with you”

Lilia Vanrouge:O sol e a lua by, poqueno Cidadão

“O sol pediu a lua em casamento. E a lua, disse. Não sei, não sei, não sei. Me dá um tempo. E 24 horas depois o sol nasceu a lua se pôs e. O sol pediu a lua em casamento E a lua, disse. Não sei, não sei, não sei. Me dá um tempo”

Silver (Vanrouge): Hidden in the sand by, tally hall

“We were playing in the sand. And you found a little band. You told me you fell in love with it. Hadn't gone as I planned. When you had to bid adieu. Said you'd never love anew. I wondered if I could hold it. And fall in love with it too. You told me to buy a pony. But all I wanted was you”

Sebek Zigvolt: Valentine by, Laufey

“What if he's the last one I kiss? What if he's the only one I'll ever miss? Maybe I should run, I'm only 21. I don't even know who I want to become. I've lost all control of my heartbeat now. Got caught in a romance with him somehow. I still feel a shock through every bone. When I hear an "I love you". 'Cause now I've got someone to lose”

-:OC’s:-

Ibhana “Vesper” Baske: Soft Bitch by, Rio Romeo

“Love made me approachable. Love made me sweet. It's fucking miserable. But it can't be beat Love made me cordial. It never ends. I want to terrify you. But instead we're friends. Love made me soft. For the best”

Tao Yùchi: I won’t say (I’m in love) by, Susan Egan

“I thought my heart had learned its lesson. It feels so good when you start out. My head is screaming get a grip, girl. Unless you're dying to cry your heart out. You keep on denying. Who you are and how you're feeling. Baby, we're not buying. Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling. Face it like a grown-up. When ya gonna own up. That ya got, got, got it bad”

Igor Kazentoc: love like you by, Rebecca Sugar

“I always thought I might be bad. Now I'm sure that it's true. 'Cause I think you're so good. And I'm nothing like you. Look at you go. I just adore you. I wish that I knew. What makes you think I'm so special. If I could begin to do. Something that does right by you. I would do about anything. I would even learn how to love”

Junto Shuisha: would you be so kind? By, Dodie

“Oh, would you be so kind As to fall in love with me? You see, I'm trying I know you know that I like you But that's not enough. So if you would, please fall in love. I think it's only fair. There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere (wanna share?). 'Cause I like you but that's not enough. So if you will. Please fall in love with me”

Jasper Spade: first love/last spring by,mitski

“Wild women don't get the blues. But I find that. Lately I've been crying like a. Tall child. So please hurry leave me. I can't breathe. Please don't say you love me. 胸がはち切れそうで. One word from you and I would. Jump off of this. Ledge I'm on Baby. Tell me "don't". So I can. Crawl back in”

Najih Al-Amin: Don’t you dare by, Kaden MacKay

“Just gеt out of my daydreams. You’re an unwelcomе guest. And stop making me miss you. ‘Cause you leaving’s for the best ‘Cause I just couldn’t stand having you as my crutch. You’re a simmering stovetop I was tempted to touch. If you ever return, it’ll burn me too much To bear. So don’t you dare”

Aikat Spanos: Passing papers by, Egg

“Cause Smiles are my weakness and I think yours is the prettiest. And you show it quite a bit when I'm with you. It's almost entertaining how we're searching for the same thing. But I could never try to see it through. Yes I meant it when I said that you were pretty. We never knew each other well and it's a pity. Sometimes I wonder if when you hear 1950. I come to mind”

Phobes Spanos: Dance with me by, Topline Addicts

“You say "Come and dance with me". But I'm a bit too shy so I just smile politely. I know you want me to. What have I got to lose? You said, "Let me dance with you". But I got two left feet, no rhythm, or groove. I'm dancin' anyhow. But I still walked home by myself”

Ngl this was a lot of fun to do. I might do a part two with the staff and rsa, probably with the rest of my OC’s too^^

Likes and comments are more than appreciated. but reblogs help the content reach more people so please reblog if you want to like<3

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ddejavvu · 1 year

Note

For multiverse monday can I request soulmate au with victim reader and spencer meeting for the first time during a case?

today is multiverse monday! send me an au you can think of :)

It happens so quickly you barely even notice it. You're more focused on the pain in your abdomen than you are the burst of color through your eyes, and you wish you could relish meeting your soulmate more thoroughly in the moment.

There's hands pressing to your side, a creamy peach color. And there's a purple sweater vest overtop of his chest, scratching at your arms with itchy wool. Then a tie against the sweater; blue.

There's a man in your face now, not the same that's putting pressure on your wound. He's got a stern frown on his face, and you feel scrutinized even though you're the victim.

"What color was the car that he took?"

"I- I don't.. I don't know," You stammer, breathing heavily as the hands around your waist tighten, "I don't see.. color. But your hair," You turn back to the man holding you, seeing pink lips, brown eyes, and a barely-tanned complexion, "Your hair is brown."

"Your shirt is green." The man observes, rosy lips flattening out and curving up ever so slightly at their ends. You nod, glancing down at the red splotches that mar it. The sight of your own crimson blood sends your tummy twisting, and the man holding you seems to notice the cave of your throat.

"You can take my jacket," He offers, leaning back to untie a coat from around his waist while still keeping one hand against your cut, "It's.. it's brown."

"Yeah," You breathe, fingers grazing the soft fabric, "Brown. Like your hair. And your eyes."

"And your shoes," He glances at your sandals.

"Yeah."

"I'm Spencer."

"Y/N."

You hear the agents around you disperse, mumbling into comms and barking orders. But everyone leaves you two alone, and you're thankful for the solace it brings.

"You need an ambulance." Spencer states, and you nod. You hear the sirens outside, know they're waiting for you, but you can't bring yourself to leave his arms.

"I could walk you there?" He suggests, brown eyebrows raising in question.

"That would be nice." You nod, voice weak as red blood still stains your side.

When Spencer leads you out of the building, you're met with blue sky, green grass, grey roads, and a black SUV. The red-and-white ambulance is to your right, and Spencer's brown shoes veer that way to lead you there. The stretcher is blue, and you let them ease you onto a white pillow.

"I'll visit you." Spencer blurts, bringing a hand up to scratch at the baby blue shirt collar beneath his sweater vest, "I.. I know we should talk more. I'm sorry that we met this way."

"Me too." You let out as much of a laugh as you can, though it aches in your chest, "I hope you guys catch him."

"We will." Spencer nods, eyes twinkling in a sweetly reassuring manner, "Do you.. do you have a favorite color yet?"

Your eyes drop to the lavender tones of his sweater vest, and you nod, "Purple."

He nods with that sweet, barely-there awkward smile of his, and three days later, he shows up to your hospital room with a handful of lilacs.

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minho-hoho · 1 year

Text

Leaving after an argument

genre: angst, fluff !

pairing: bf!enhypen x gn!reader !

warning: swearing, lower-case intended !

requested: yes !

wc: 2.2k

note: i give up w the tags.

MASTERLIST

이희승 l.hs

you were anxiously toying with the hem of your shirt as you waited for any sign of your boyfriend being even alive.

the guilt was slowly eating you alive as you regretted being so aggressive towards heeseung; you wanted to apologise from the bottom of your heart but would that even be possible if he was nowhere to be seen?

you sunk in your seat as your eyes watched impatiently the clock ticking ever so slowly. it was dark outside, and your worry only amplified as the clock hit 2 am and heeseung still wasn't by your side.

you were genuinely considering to go outside and look out for him, but fortunately, you heard the front door open to reveal your awaited boyfriend.

the second your gaze landed on him, you froze. you wished you could have ran to his sides and hug him tight, but you couldn't move.

all the distress that had bubbled up inside of you released and tears fell from your eyes, as you couldn't believe he was right there.

heeseung's eyes widened, shocked to see you so sad. almost drowning in his anger, the thought of notifying you of his absence and whereabouts hadn't even crossed his minds. seeing you so affected slapped him back to reality.

“babe... don't cry, i'm right there.” was all could say before taking the initiative to hug you, not bearing to see you in such a state because of him.

you wailed on his shoulder as he rubbed your back, “do you know how worried i was? you could have sent a message or something...” you said between sobs.

“i know, i'm sorry baby.” he tightened the hug as you let out more sobs, “let's go sleep, hm? you must be so tired after waiting so long.” he said as he slowly pulled away from the hug to look at you.

you nodded at his suggestion. he smiled softly, he wiped the tears off your cheeks before kissing your forehead and leading you to your bedroom.

박제이 p.j

anger was building up inside of you, adding to the worry and anxiousness.

you couldn't help but think that even if you two argued passionately, at the end of teh day you were still a couple and you deserved to know where he was in the middle of the night.

you spammed jay's phone to no avail. you hoped he would at least look at the messages, to show that he was still alive and well.

you angrily sighed as no signs of life were shown by jay.

you turned in circles in your living room, the sound of the heavy rain masking your footsteps. you checked your phone often, nothing popping up on your screen.

“jesus christ jay. how could you be so fucking dumb?” you muttered under your breath, lost in your world of anger and anxiety.

so lost that you didn't even the door open earlier. jay heard your words and rolled his eyes, deciding to make his presence known.

“if that's how i'm getting welcomed i might as well just go back outside.”

you snapped your head towards him, shocked to hear his voice and see him. he was drenched in water and was just waiting to see more of your reaction.

“if i wasn't so worried, i would have told you to go right back in the rain.” you said, closing your eyes while massaging your temples.

jay smirked from across the room, as you shot him a glare.

“be glad that i love you because if i didn't i would have absolutely killed you.” jay only laughed fondly as he watched your annoyed expression fade slowly.

심제이크 s.jk

now, you knew he didn't mean to not teem you where he was. he just forgot his phone, but you still couldn't help but let the fear and worry take over.

there was no way you could contact him and your anxiety levels sky-rocketed. you were imagining every scenario possible, but unfortunately most of them were far from positive.

you tried distracting yourself until jake arrived but the thought of hum leaving you or disappearing was always at the back of your mind and it made it hard for you to enjoy a minute of your time.

you stared at the ceiling, laid out on the couch, praying for jake to come fast; but the minutes only passed, and your dear boyfriend still wasn't here.

hours had passed and your worry could only increase as no signs of jake ever coming back were shown. the guilt was heavy and you only cried, in hopes that someone would grant your wishes and make jake come back to you.

deafened by the sounds of your own cries, holding tight onto your pillow, you didn't notice the person infront of you.

“baby, why are you crying?” he cooed, his heart breaking at the sad sight.

you slowly peaked at jake, cheeks tear-stained, eyes puffy and lips swollen.

you tried explaining yourself, but your babbles were incomprehensible, frustrating you in the process, therefore making you cry even more.

despite your words being less than clear, jake still got the message. he held you tightly as you let your tears fall free onto his shoulder, while apologising for everything and worrying you.

박성훈 p.sh

you were worried, you really were, but annoyance was dominating one in the mess of your heart. you felt bad for being quite agressive during you argument, but you were right after all. it didn't feel right for him to leave after being the one in the wrong.

despite it feeling unfair, you still loved sunghoon very much, and you tried reaching out to him in every way you had. when non eof that worked, you only got more annoyed. to you, he had a certain audacity to act this way and then leave without saying a word.

you felt bitter as you looked at your phone's screen. you clicked your tongue before choosing to occupy yourself with some fun activities, not wanting to think about sunghoon any second more.

after a while, you had started to get tired and settled for watching whatever shows were proposed to you on the tv, having nothing else better to do.

the second you heard the door click, you frowned, miffed by sunghoon's behaviour. you continued watching tv. not wanting to pay any attention to your boyfriend. you were upset and all you wanted to hear was apologies from him.

the corner of your eyes caught a tall figure approaching you, but you quickly went back to the tv.

“hey” sunghoon called out, “if you hadn't noticed yet, i'm back.”

you rolled your eyes, not answering him.

“i wanted to say that i'm sorry. i know you were right now, and i wanted to apologise for the way i treated you earlier.” he said looking at you sincerely.

a silence filled the room as you weren't totally satisfied with his apology.

“and uh, i'm sorry for not texting you back when you were looking for me.”he said with a visible uncertainty.

you shook your head before finally speaking up, “it's alright, i'm getting tired, let's just go to sleep.”

sunghoon nodded as you lead the way.

김선우 k.sn

you panicked. not knowing what to do, what was going to be your next move. you tried cackling yourself down, but sunoo being out, into the late hours of the night, was sending your brain into overdrive.

you frenetically tried to contact him but you were only met the voice box, adding frustration to the mix.

you sat down, to collect yourself before acting impulsively. in the end, you grabbed your coat and ran out of the door in the search of your partner.

you knew it wasn't safe for you to be out either, but the thought of losing sunoo was horrifying. you looked through every street you knew of, all while dialing every number that might know where your boyfriend might be.

on the verge of tears, after receiving multiple times the advice of waiting for sunoo at home, you decided to follow the piece of advice, and went home defeated.

you sat on chair, face buried in your hands for about a minute before you heard the door open. your head snapped in the direction of sound immediately, you made eye contact with sunoo as a wave of relief hit you.

you sighed and bit your lip, not letting a single tear slip away.

“gosh damn it. sunoo, i know we argued but please, for the love of god, don't ever do this again or i might die of a heart attack.”

still infront of the door, sunoo scratched his said, feeling guilt.

“i'm sorry, i just got distracted by the scenery on my way. i didn't mean to take so much time.”

you took a look at him, having seriously missed him. you opened your arms wide, as to invite him for a hug, he rushed to you, and you couldn't help but smile.

“god i missed you.” you told him, glad to have him back at your sides.

양정원 y.jw

too upset to say anything, you let jungwon storm out of the house. you figured, he'd come back soon enough, knowing the bad weather and the cold outside.

hours passed, and you still hadn't seen or heard of jungwon and his little escapade. you had argued pretty badly, it was undeniable, but did it justify him disappearing into the cold winter nights?

it was less than safe, and not knowing where he was or how he was doing was troubling you to say the least.

you weren't exactly sure what to do, the safest option was for you to stay home and try to wait patiently for him, but you also wanted to look out for him, though that would have probably gotten you scolded by jungwon.

you slowly opened the front door, and as soon as the cold wind hit you, you quickly closed it, deciding that staying was the wiser option.

to make time go faster, you thought about you would apologise for being rude during the argument. unfortunately, it didn't keep you distracted long enough, and you were soon back to worrying.

you bit your cheek as you looked at your phone, you tried sending a message again, knowing that you weren't going to get any response from your boyfriend.

by that point, you felt like crying and giving up on any chance of ever seeing your partner again.

before any tears could flow, the door opened.

“y/n, are you awake?” jungwon asked as he closed the door behind him.

he made his way to the living room, not hearing any response from you. he stopped in his tracks when he saw your livid face, eyeing him up and down.

jungwon soon understand the reason for your expression and started apologising.

“look i'm really sorry for not communicating with you... i know you must have been worried, but i just needed some space for a while you know?” he explained.

not satisfied and too tired to argue, you told him “forget it, i'm going to sleep.” before excusing yourself, without giving him a second glance.

西村力 n.rk

you were fuming, both because of the argument and because of your lack of knowledge on riki's whereabouts.

you were spamming him furiously, hoping that you'd atleats get a seen from him, but nothing. it was angering you, but as time went on, you rage was getting replaced by worry.

what could he even be doing outside, alone, in this freezing weather? it wasn't particularly late, but the sun set down early, and it was already dark outside despite the time being only 6pm.

still no signs of life from riki, you grabbed your warmest winter clothes and hopped outside, searching for your boyfriend.

the christmas lights, brightly illuminated the streets and made it easier for you to look for riki.

your nose reddened as you walked through the busy streets, losing hope of seeing your partner, the place being so crowded.

you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and you quickly grabbed it to see what was up. you frowned when you saw messages from an unknown number, but you still opened it.

it was a message from riki saying that his phone died, and that he'll be back at home in about 20 minutes.

you didn't even bother answering and you hurried back home, not wanting him to worry after not seeing you.

you didn't even get the chance to sit down that riki flung the door open, scaring you a little.

“oh my goodness, you scared the shit out of me.” you exclaimed.

“oh sorry, i didn't mean to.”

silence took place, but your boyfriend decided to break it.

“i really wanted to tell you where i was but my phone had no battery, so i had to ask for strangers phone...”

he looked sincere, and all the anger and frustration you had previously went away.

“it's okay, don't sweat it. now that i know that you're safe and sound, that's all that matters.” you reassured him, a small smile creeping on your face.

“to make you forgive me for earlier, i bought us food!” he said, beaming, as he presented you the food.

“oh how much i love you” you told him, going to hug him.

PERM TAG LIST ! : @stacey-stonem, @sh1mzu, @axartia, @echantedrose, @leeknowbuttsmasher, @nikipedia07, @deafeningballoonnacho, @sristsblog

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aleksanderscult · 8 months

Text

Favorite Darkling quotes

I'm gonna write my favorite Darkling quotes 'cause a) I'm bored b) I love him and miss him so much.

Anyways I'm not gonna rate them cause every one of them is fucking iconic (as he is).

Let's get into this!

"Blue sky. Once more. Speak my name once more... Don't let me be alone."

These might be my most favorite quotes of his. His last words. 'Cause with his last breath he showed that he was only human after all. Cruel and damaged, yes. But still human.

There is no safe place. There is no haven. Not for us. There will be, he promised in the darkness, new words written upon his heart. I will make one.

I ADORE these lines. Less than 24 hours ago two Grisha tried to kill him (one of them a supposed friend) and what did he tried to do after that? Create a safe space for his kind in order for them not to go through what they went through. If he's the villain for this then I wish we had this kind of villain in our world.

‌"All men can be made fools."

OKAY OKAY LISTEN. I love this line for two reasons. Firstly, cause it's true. Every person can be made a fool. BUT! Secondly and most importantly, he hints to Mal and Alina (Alina actually cause Mal didn't know he was there) that he was made a fool too because of Alina. He fell in love with her and felt hope for the first time after centuries that this new person would be like him, live with him and spend eternities together. He would no longer be alone. And she seemed that she wanted him too as far as he could tell. And then what happened? She run off, found Mal and turned her back on him and their country. That mostly disappointed him, I think. In a large degree. And he must have thought what a fool he was to trust her and fall for her. Hence that amazing line.

Let me make a mark on this world before I leave it.

And boy did he not make it? Years after his death in R&R and people still talk about him. He made a mark not only on the world but on people too (no pun intended for Genya I swear. I love her😭). He made a huge impact and even antis have to admit that. Actually more than the actual protagonist but anyways *coughthe fact that the villain made bigger impact than the heroes in the storycough*

"Fight me as long as you're able. You will find I have far more practice with eternity."

You fucking iconic legend with your fucking iconic lines. And yes, I believe him. No matter how many decades Alina would fight him, he would be unmovable.

‌"It’s harder when you like them. You mourn them more."

That line is so true. The more you care, the more you get hurt. I'm sorry but a quality that people often overlook about the Darkling is his wisdom. I would sit and listen for hours to him talking about life, love, death and people. After so many centuries he's so knowledgeable.

Also, this line makes me wonder how many people he had loved, lost and mourned. Because obviously he talks from experience. *Sigh* I would die to read a book about his whole life before Alina.

He only wished that it wasn't winter. He wanted to turn his face to the sun and feel it warm him. He'd been a long time in the dark.

Yeah he's cruel and manipulative and the villain and blah, blah, blah. But again this line proves his humanity. He loves the sun (how much are you willing to bet people that his favourite season is Summer😏), he loves the sunlight, its warmth and light (another clue that Alina is his soulmate dc what anyone says). Our baby was resurrected and first things first he wanted his wife beside him and the sun to hit his face (priorities people🥹😍).

"Then I'd be alone too."

(*whispering*don't cry, don't cry, don't cry)

So. Heh. I may have a soft spot for fictional characters that suffer from loneliness. Probably because I have suffered from it too most of my life (🫠). I'm sorry but you can hate him all you want alright? No one can stop you. But people that don't feel an ounce of sympathy or pity for him and what he has gone through are just useless to talk to. Most of all he wants someone to make him company to this endless sea of eternity.

Deep blue like the True Sea. Red like the roofs of the Shu temples. The pure, buttery color of sunlight—not really yellow or gold, what would you call it? All the colors you couldn't see in the dark.

(fuck. lost control of my tears after all)

Baby shadow summoner can control the dark and its blackness and yet he loves all colors that are bright. But most of all the sunlight.

(DARKLINA STANS RISE)

Also, he made the Grisha keftas blue, red and purple because he loved these colors the most, change my mind *sip tea*

‌"Fine. Make me your villain."

Ah, yes. The cult classic one. Honestly, this line makes me feel bad for him. Cause he has tried the peaceful solution so many times (not with just Alina but generally). At this point he's like: "Fuck it. If I have to become a monster then so be it." They leave him no choice and furthermore he's obviously grown tired of trying diplomacy.

"I’ll be certain you hear it when I make her scream."

I froze the first time I read this line but now I laugh every time I do. Here he shows how petty he can be and how much shame he doesn't have (in your face Mal😚).

‌"My Alina. You cannot run from me."

OKAY LISTEN

I know it sounds creepy but "my Alina" and "I'll always find you" MY DARKLINA HEART GUYS

‌"I know what you thought, what you always thought of me. It's so much easier that way, isn't it?"

My strategic baby. But this line is also sad. Cause he knows how Alina views him and, even if he hides it well, deep down I bet it hurts him.

‌"You two have a bad habit of acting like fools and calling it heroic."

Isn't that the truth tho? Our boy spitting facts once again. Also this line can be applied to other characters from different fandoms as well.

‌"I seem to be a victim of my own wishes where you are concerned."

TRANSLATION: I TEND TO FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD-DOMINATION PLAN CAUSE I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, LIVE WITH YOU, LOVE YOU, MARRY YOU, HAVE 7 KIDS WITH YOU AND DRINK SOME TEA ON THE PORCH TOGETHER WHILE THE SUNLIGHT HITS US

TRANSLATION NO2: I GOT MY ASS KICKED CAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY THINKING THAT I WAS KISSING YOU AND WOULD FINALLY HAVE THAT WEDDING THAT I WAS PLANNING BABE

Is this line a kind of love confession or what? 🥺🙃

‌"We all have our secrets."

Mostly I love this line cause it just sounds cool. But after I read the book for a second time I realized that it could tie with the "Demon in the Woods" book. It's a nice little nod. If you get it, you get it😉.

‌Why did you go to her? Because with her he was human again.

A nice (though bittersweet) little way to end this post. 🥹

With Alina he felt human again. That part that was buried deep beneath him and rarely if not ever got out. Do you remember how she made him laugh with her honest remarks on "Shadow and Bone"? How his eyes closed and his breath stopped when she reached to stroke his cheek on R&R? How he broadly smiled when she laughed about how common his name was? That was Aleksander Morozova (especially that last part). The boy that grew up forcefully and was thrown to a cruel world too soon, too violently. They were these 400+ years that made him cruel. It was eternity that broke him. Loneliness and pain that made him withdraw. Until Alina came. And she could bring to the surface that buried, broken boy. And it felt good to him (although inconvenient too). She made him feel vulnerable. And when he was resurrected he seeked her out to feel that way again. Human.

*sigh*

Thanks for coming to my ted talk guys. 😔✌️

Feel free to write in the comments your own favorite quotes of him 😊❤️

#my boy wanted love and company #somebody please hug him #but also he's so fucking iconic #slay #r&r #shadow and bone #ruin and rising #siege and storm #grishaverse #quotes #favourite quotes #the darkling #pro darkling #aleksander morozova #pro aleksander morozova #alina starkov #darklina #pro darklina

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fullstcp · 3 months

Text

"Speak Now (Taylor's Version)" Sentence Starters

MINE

"I was a flight risk with a fear of falling."

"Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts."

"Can you believe it?"

"Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?"

"You are the best thing that's ever been mine."

"There's a drawer of my things at your place."

"You say we'll never make my parents mistakes."

"We got nothing figured out."

"Braced myself for the goodbye, cause it's all I've ever known."

"You took me by surprise, you said, 'I'll never leave you alone'."

"Every time I look at you, it's like the first time."

"Do you believe it?"

"We're gonna make it now."

SPARKS FLY

"The way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and I'm a house of cards."

"You're the kind of reckless that should send me running, but I kinda know that I won't get far."

"Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain."

"Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain."

"I see sparks fly whenever you smile."

"Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around."

"My mind forgets to remind me that you're a bad idea."

"I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you, I know it's no good."

"Just keep on keeping your eyes on me."

"It's just wrong enough to make it feel right."

"I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show."

BACK TO DECEMBER

"I'm so glad you made time to see me."

"How's life? Tell me, how's your family?"

"Your guard is up and I know why."

"The last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind."

"This is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, 'I'm sorry for that night'."

"It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine."

"These days, I haven't been sleeping."

"I watched you laughing from the passenger side."

"And realized I loved you in the fall."

"You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye."

"Maybe this is wishful thinking."

"Probably mindless dreaming."

"If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."

"I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't."

SPEAK NOW

"This is surely not what you thought it would be."

"I lose myself in a daydream."

"Don't say yes, run away now."

"I'll meet you when you're out."

"Don't wait or say a single vow."

"You need to hear me out."

"Fond gestures are exchanged."

"I know you wish it was me."

"You wish it was me, don't you?"

DEAR JOHN

"Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you."

"You paint me like a blue sky then go back and turn it to rain."

"I lived in your chess game, but you change the rules every day."

"Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight."

"I see it all now that you're gone."

"Maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame."

"Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love and take it away."

"You'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand."

"I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said, 'run as fast as you can'."

"I shoulda known."

"You are an expert at 'Sorry' and keeping lines blurry."

"Never impressed by me acing your tests."

"I took your matches before fire could catch me."

"I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town."

"You shoulda known."

MEAN

"You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me."

"You have knocked me off my feet again."

"You can take me down with just one single blow."

"But you don't know what you don't know."

"Someday, I'll be big enough that you can't hit me."

"All you're ever gonna be is mean."

"Why you gotta be so mean?"

"You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation."

"You have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them."

"I walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you."

"I just wanna feel okay again."

"All you are is mean. And a liar, and pathetic. And alone in life."

THE STORY OF US

"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us."

"We met and the sparks flew instantly."

"I used to know my place was the spot next to you, now I'm searching the room for an empty seat."

"Lately I don't even know what page you're on."

"Miscommunications lead to fall out."

"So many things that I wish you knew."

"So many walls up, I can't break through."

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking."'

"I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me?"

"I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down."

"The story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."

"How'd we end up this way?"

"You're doing your best to avoid me."

"You held your pride like you should've held me."

"I'm scared to see the ending."

"Why are we pretending this is nothing?"

"I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how."

"I've never heard silence quite this loud."

"This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less."

"I liked it better when you were on my side."

"The battle's in your hands now."

"The story of us might be ending soon."

NEVER GROW UP

"It's so quiet in the world tonight."

"You got nothing to regret."

"I'd give all I have, honey."

"I won't let nobody hurt you."

"Won't let no one break your heart."

"No one will desert you."

"I just realized everything I have is, someday, gonna be gone."

"Wish I'd never grown up."

"It could still be simple."

ENCHANTED

"There I was again tonight. Forcing laughter, faking smile."

"All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you."

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go."

"I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home."

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew."

"Who do you love?"

"This night is flawless, don't you let it go."

"This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends."

"My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again."

"Please, don't be in love with someone else."

"Please, don't have somebody waiting on you."

BETTER THAN REVENGE

"Time for a little revenge."

"I never saw it coming, I wouldn't have suspected it."

"I underestimated just who I was dealing with."

"There is nothing I do better than revenge."

"Think about what you did."

"Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?"

INNOCENT

"I guess you really did it this time. Left yourself in the war path."

"Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you?"

"It's alright, just wait and see you."

"Who you are is not where you've been."

"If only you had seen what you know now then."

"It's okay, life is a tough crowd."

"Who you are is not what you did."

"Every one of us has messed up, too."

"Minds change like the weather."

"Today is never too late to be brand new."

HAUNTED

"You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time."

"I can't trust anything now."

"Won't lose you again."

"Something's made your eyes go cold."

"Don't leave me like this."

"I thought I had you figured out."

"Something's gone terribly wrong."

"You're all I waned."

"Can't breathe whenever you're gone."

"I still mean every word I said to you."

"Something keeps me holding onto nothing."

"You can't be gone."

LAST KISS

"You told me you loved me, so why did you go away?"

"All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss."

"I never thought we'd have a last kiss."

"I never imagined it'd end like this."

"Your name, forever the name on my lips."

"I'm not much for dancing, but for you, I did."

"I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep."

"I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe."

"I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day, and something reminds you you wish you had stayed."

"You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind."

LONG LIVE

"Remember this moment."

"We were the kings and the queens."

"That night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same."

"You held your head like a hero on a history book page."

"It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age."

"Long live the walls we crashed through."

"Long live all the magic we made."

"One day, we will be remembered."

"And the cynics were outraged. Screaming, 'this is absurd'."

"Bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid."

"I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you."

"May these memories break our fall."

"I had the time of my life with you."

"And long, long live the look on your face."

OURS

"Strangers' silence makes me wanna take the stairs."

"But right now, my time is theirs."

"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves."

"They'll judge it like they know about me and you."

"The verdict comes from those with nothing else to do."

"The jury's out, but my choice is you."

"Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine."

"Life makes love look hard."

"This love is ours."

"You never know what people have up their sleeves."

"But I don't care, cause right now, you're mine."

"It's not theirs to speculate if it's wrong."

"Your hands are rough, but they are where mine belong."

"They can't take what's ours."

SUPERMAN

"I wonder if he/she/they know(s) how much I miss him/her/them."

"I always forget to tell you I love you."

"I love you forever."

"I'll be with you someday."

"You'll leave, got places to be, and I'll be okay."

"I loved you from the very first day."

"Don't forget about me."

"I'm far away, but I never let you go."

ELECTRIC TOUCH

"Just breathe, just relax, it'll be okay."

"I've got my money on things going badly."

"Got a history of stories ending sadly."

"All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life."

"I want you now, wanna need you forever."

"I'm trying hard not to look like I'm trying."

"Every time I tried hard for love, it fell apart."

"Maybe I call you mine."

WHEN EMMA FALLS IN LOVE

"She's/he's/they're the kind of book you can't put down."

"To tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her/him/them."

I CAN SEE YOU

"I've been watching you for ages."

"I spend my time trying not to feel it."

"What would you do if they never found us out?"

"We kept everything professional."

"Something's changed, it's something I like."

"Wait 'til you see half the things that haven't happened yet."

"I could see you being my addiction."

"You can see me as a secret mission."

CASTLES CRUMBLING

"Now, I fear I have fallen from grace."

"I feel like my castle's crumbling down."

"You don't want to know me, I will just let you down."

"You don't wanna know me now."

"I held that grudge 'til it tore me apart."

"My foes and friends watch my reign end."

"i don't know how it could've ended this way."

"People look at me like I'm a monster."

"Now they're screaming that they hate me."

"Never wanted you to hate me."

FOOLISH ONE

"My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand."

"Chances are, tonight, you've already got plans."

"You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high."

"I will block out these voices of reason in my head."

"You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson."

"Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come."

"I know how to act like I'm fine."

"I know I can't call you mine."

"How could I not see the signs?"

"Maybe I will finally learn my lesson."

TIMELESS

"Somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other."

"In another life, you still would've turned my head."

"You still would've been mine."

"We would've been timeless."

"I believe that we were supposed to find this."

"Even in a different life, you still would've been mine."

"Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love, like we did."

"It was like an age-old classic the first time that you saw me."

"Sometimes there's no proof, you just know."

"You're always gonna be mine."

"We really were timeless."

#rp memes #rp starters #rp prompts #rp lyric meme #lyric prompts #lyric starters #sentence starters #roleplay starters #roleplay prompts #not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme)#when there was me and queue (queue)

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jihoonotes · 2 years

Text

photograph #29

i promise

— Friday 6:58 pm

There was nothing else on both their minds, but each other.

Jihoon was adjusting his ear piece back stage. He wasn't nervous, he had been preparing for this day since he could remember. Yet so much happened before he finally reached this point.

There were various realizations, but the biggest one was that he wanted Y/n to be in the crowd. That was a selfish wish he held deep in his heart.

"Please stand by Woozi." Jihoon nodded at the sound as he walked closer toward the back entrance of the stage.

He took a deep breath before mumbling to himself, "Y/n... I hope this song reaches you."

Y/n turned around, but was surprised to see that no one was behind them. They had heard their name spoken as low as a whisper.

"Something wrong?" Seokmin spoke as he came over to Y/n, offering them a bottle of water.

Y/n shook their head, "No. Everything is fine." It was tiring to keep smiling, but they had to for their supporters who came to their exhibition.

Seokmin watched as Y/n walked away, going back to the same picture once again. Y/n didn't even catch themselves going back until they were met with Jihoon's picture.

The caption for the specific picture felt a bit lame and made Y/n want to laugh at themselves, but there wasn't a better explanation for it. "Red is a symbol for many things, but it reminds me of desire and the feeling of yearning."

Jihoon let out a deep breath as he walked up onto the stage, the lights felt so hot and the brightness was almost blinding. He walked up toward the red mic and adjusted the microphone stand.

"Good evening, I am Woozi and I will be singing a special song tonight. One that surprisingly left me sleepless, but has every emotion I bottled up for so long," Jihoon spoke into the microphone before the music began.

Baby I'm going to be your happiness

Jihoon let the words fall from his lips without any hesitation, the him from before would've hated to ever sing something that show his vulnerability.

All the time

Jihoon let his eyes flutter open and looked out into the crowd, taking in every single reaction from the audience. He finally allowed his thoughts to run free along with his confession, letting them fly in hand with the wind.

You're always on my mind

Jihoon had been lying on Y/n's bed, he'd felt so childish from having ran away from Y/n earlier that day. But somehow he'd made his way into Y/n's place, something he didn't expect.

Please don't forget this moment

Y/n was unsure of where to place their hands, but they felt the sudden tension. Jihoon looked into Y/n's eyes searching for some type of answer, but was soon distracted as the gap lessened between them. Before he knew it, he was being held by Y/n as they shared a kiss, one that almost felt surreal.

Oh I can't hide it.. I want to give you all my heart

The sudden memory made Jihoon feel a pain in his heart. It'd been the first kiss he shared with Y/n, one they both agreed to not speak of. One that had been in the spur of the moment at Y/n's apartment. One that had brought them closer than they realized.

Oh my love.. warmly call me to your side..

I will fill myself with only you..

Up in the sky that has no limits

This night is a starry night..

As I watch you, who has fallen asleep beside me...

"Will you go out with me?" Y/n spoke as they kneeled in front of Jihoon who was sat on their bed. Jihoon was taken aback, but looked down at his hands, "No, I'm sorry." Y/n smiled and moved their hand to hold Jihoon's, "Please don't apologize... it hurts more when you say that." Y/n who had used their second chance didn't shun Jihoon away, but embraced him once again, afraid of being nothing to him if they let go.

You, who dreams the same dream as me and with the same mind

Looks out upon the same nigh together with me

Even if I'm given everything in the world

I can never exchange it

l Promise me eternity.. if your feelings are the same as mine

Jihoon tightened his grip on the mic and finally came to a conclusion. It was useless to sing this song, he'd finally come to accept these feelings to himself. Yet he hadn't said them to the person who needed to hear them the most.

No matter what happens

I will always be beside you, don't worry..

Jihoon heard the words fall from his lips, but they weren't true. He wasn't by Y/n's side, if anything he was far apart from them, he never felt this way whenever they were together. Y/n was always smiling next to him, trying their best to bring a smile on Jihoon's face.

Y/n never let there be a space in between them and Jihoon hadn't noticed it until now. After Y/n stopped trying and gave Jihoon the space he had asked for, one he thought he needed, but has come to realize that he hates it.

"I apologize for the inconvenience, but I have to see someone right now and it can't be put off any longer," Jihoon spoke into the microphone and ran off the stage, taking every single wire off of his body.

Wonwoo began to cheer in the middle of the crowd, "GO GET Y/N JIHOON!" Vernon was confused, but began to cheer as well. "He finally found someone who brings out the best in him, huh?" Jun spoke as he smiled.

Y/n stood staring at the picture of Jihoon and even began talking to it, "I remember you used to hate me, at that time I could bare it, but if you were to hate me now.. I think it'd kill me."

Mingyu nudged Minghao to look over at Y/n, "I think they've lost it. These are the signs of insanity." Minghao only rolled his eyes at Mingyu and was about to go step in, but Seokmin beat him to it.

"I don't think he's going to reply anytime soon," Seokmin spoke as he stared at the picture of Jihoon. "Yeah I know, but this is all I can do right now," Y/n let out a nervous laughter as they turned to look at Seokmin.

"You should go," Seokmin spoke as he gestured towards the exit of the building. "I can't, I have to stay here," Y/n shook their head as they patted Seokmin's shoulder.

"I remember you telling me that you would do your best," a voice spoke behind Y/n, catching them off guard. "Professor... I don't think I should leave my exhibition for selfish reasons," Y/n spoke as they forced a smile.

"Have I ever told you that being serious doesn't suit you? Go on," Y/n was pushed slightly by their professor.

Y/n walked over toward the exit of the building, "If I don't come back just know that it went well." Y/n ran off immediately, making their way to where Jihoon's performance was being held.

Neither of the two were looking at their surroundings, only running to the destination they had in mind. Jihoon was breathless as he reached Y/n's exhibition. He was starting to feel nervous, unsure of what to do if Y/n really meant that they should stop, but the hug did say otherwise so that gave him a bit of hope.

"Jihoon?" Seokmin spoke as he walked out to see a figure leaning against the wall. "Ah... you're the guy from the other time," Jihoon spoke as he did his best to fix his clothes.

"Yeah sorry about that time, but what brings you here?" Seokmin asked a bit confused to see the male here. "Is Y/n here? I wanted to see them," Jihoon spoke trying his best to come off as calm, but the tips of his ears were burning.

Seokmin started laughing and Jihoon gave him an annoyed expression, "Sorry for laughing, but Y/n left a few minutes ago to see find you." Jihoon's eyes widened at Seokmin's words and immediately ran back.

Y/n was nervous to say the least, their mind was completely filled with different scenarios of how it could end. As much as they wanted to stay positive, their negative thoughts made them want to give up.

But Y/n didn't want to give up, not after knowing what it was like to have Jihoon in their life. Yes they could continue to live without him, but Y/n would prefer a life where he was in it.

Y/n ran into the music department and followed the sound of loud music with overhyped students trying to sing along. They were amazed to see the huge crowd and were about to go backstage when an arm grabbed them.

"What are you doing here?" Wonwoo asked as he pulled Y/n by their arm. "Oh! Wonwoo.. I came to see if Jihoon was here. I need to tell him something," Y/n was peeking around trying to find Jihoon.

"Sorry, but he already left," Wonwoo held back a smile trying not to get overly excited. Y/n felt their whole world break into small pieces as they realized that hey had lost their chance. Wonwoo noticed their expression and immediately began to panic.

"Don't make that face, I was just teasing you! He didn't even finish his performance and left to go see you," Wonwoo spoke truthfully this time. Y/n's expression was unreadable and they left immediately, but before they left Y/ gave Wonwoo a hug.

Jihoon stood in the middle of campus, he didn't want to go back to the music department and miss Y/n again. Though he felt pathetic if he just stood around not doing anything. He wanted to laugh at himself, who knew he'd end up running around looking for someone so desperately?

He knew his past self would've been annoyed to even try something for someone who wasn't part of his closest friends. Yet he was thankful to have met Y/n, but hated the way he treated them in the beginning.

While standing around thinking of what to do, Jihoon realized that it wasn't such a good decision.

A shoulder collided against his, causing him to fall down to the ground. Jihoon was a bit taken aback, but knew it'd been his fault for standing around like Vernon would. He hadn't come to his senses until he heard a familiar voice speak to him.

"Are you okay? Sorry about that," Y/n spoke apologetically. They were running in hopes of finding Jihoon, but now they felt worse for bumping into someone in the process.

Jihoon was stunned as he lifted his head at the sight of being face to face with Y/n, who was awestruck to see Jihoon as well. They both froze looking at each other unsure of who should make the first move, scared that it may all be an illusion of their own yearning.

It'd been so long since the two had shared a moment like this, where it was just the two of them looking at each other. There was never a day that Y/n didn't think of Jihoon and he too had been the same.

"Jihoon," Y/n let his name fall from their lips, a name that had become so engraved en their mind. "Y/n," Jihoon responded back a bit embarrassed to face them especially while he was on the floor.

Y/n grabbed his arm pulling him up, "Sorry about that, I didn't expect you to of all people to be standing around." Jihoon scoffed, "I didn't expect you to be running around at this hour."

Y/n stared at Jihoon, unable to help themselves they pulled him into a hug, "I'm sorry- I know I only caused you trouble since the day we met, but I don't think I can give up so quickly- if maybe you'd at least let me stay as your friend I'd be-"

Jihoon cracked a small smile and began laughing. Y/n was taken aback by Jihoon's laughter unsure of what may have caused it. "Y/n... you always get to make the the first move, but can I please have this moment?"

He stared into Y/n's eyes as he took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for being such an asshole to you from the beginning. Though I still am, but I truly don't hate you and never have, I just hated the fact that you came into my world so easily. You were a mess."

Y/n smiled at the last part, indeed they were. "But I liked that there was never a time that you stopped trying to become my friend and you always accepted me with an open heart. And now I want to be the one to do that," Jihoon pulled from the embrace and held onto Y/n's hands.

"I like you. I'm sorry that it took me forever to understand that what I felt for you was indeed romantic attraction," Jihoon finally understood what it felt like to yearn for someone. "Are you serious?" Y/n crouched down trying to hide their face, covering it with the back of their hand.

Y/n felt like the biggest weight on their shoulders had been lifted, but they so happy that they couldn't handle all these emotions at once. "Yes I'm serious," Jihoon replied as he crouched down to look at Y/n, only to see their embarrassed expression.

"Wait what are you blushing about? What happened to that cool reputation you have going on?" Jihoon was in disbelief at Y/n's sheepish expression. "How do you expect me to react when the guy I've fallen for tells me he feels the same! Especially when it is you! Didn't I tell you that I want to be with you so bad? I don't think I can ever go back to my mundane life that doesn't have you in it!" Y/n began to defend themselves.

Jihoon grew embarrassed at Y/n's passionate confession and covered his face, "Ye- Yes I think I understand now." Y/n moved their hands from their face and smiled at the sight of Jihoon's embarrassed state.

Jihoon peeked through his fingers and was met with Y/n's teasing smile. They both sat down on the floor and held hands as they enjoyed the silence. They wouldn't give up this moment for anything else in the world.

"What if instead of dating we just get married," Y/n spoke as they looked up into the sky. Jihoon's eyes widened, "That fast?" Y/n nodded, "I have your fans to worry about, you know? What if someone tries to steal you away." Jihoon scoffed at Y/n's exaggeration, "Don't worry, you're the only one I see myself being happy with."

Y/n turned to look at Jihoon in awe and it finally crashed down onto them. Jihoon felt the same way, he liked them and wanted to be with them. Y/n couldn't help but want to cry at the sudden relief of piled up frustration and anxiousness. "I promise that I will do my best to make you happy," Y/n spoke as they pulled Jihoon's hands up toward their lips, planting a soft kiss on it.

"I promise to make you happy as well," Jihoon smiled and Y/n couldn't help but return the smile. The two stood up and intertwined their hands as they began to walk toward the entrance of their campus.

"I don't know why you were worried about my fans.. you have some as well," Y/n turned at the sound of Jihoon's voice. "Mine lost hope the minute I kept posting pictures of you," Y/n gave Jihoon a playful smirk.

"But I think we should have something that says that we are dating," Y/n suggested as they finally reached the entrance. "Don't say rings, I don't want to be proposed to yet," Jihoon gave Y/n a look that said that he wouldn't change his mind.

"Yet? I'll keep that in mind.... then what if we announce it on Twitter?" Y/n suggested another idea. "Really?" Jihoon gave Y/n an annoyed expression. Y/n smiled, "I told you we would be like those social media couples." Jihoon sighed and gave in, "Fine. I guess we can do that."

— Friday 8:07 pm

YEARNING

─────

synopsis: for yn it was love at first sight, but for jihoon it was annoyed at first sight..

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a/n: FINALLY !!!!!! GO YNHOON GO !!!!!!! PLS IM SO HAPPY

taglist ☆ :

@cass1814 @jxnem @ruefulposts @silvsie @pastel-andme @kiltedkit @strawberri-uyu @angelboodeddemon @deadlyarepa @lavenderautumnx @danessentia @kpopjackie @elk-1998 @jeongiegram @1122ljh @atomoonchild @itsmekwenny @bibinnieposts @skylions-den @ryuyalana @inuyashasfangs @17kwans @dwcljh @jenormous @younjunie @nanamioo @shualovr @hoohoohope @yeosang-kinnie @babelleerr @kirooz @squishy-maimon @trashygigi @woozarts @halatdog @kamikokii @faiirybread @cersti-mo0 @x-veex @feeling-woozi @http-mewchuu @enhacolor @lostbitvh @todomaniac @theaufanartist @hoyoung-likes-strawberries @candidupped @fraeppuccino @yunnamiksi @zenithatsyzygy @bvncyn @be0mluver

#kpop social media au #seventeen smau #seventeen x reader #seventeen x y/n #seventeen social media au #social media au #seventeen au #text au #twitter au #lee jihoon #lee jihoon x reader #wonwoo fic #woozi smau #woozi social media au #woozi x reader #woozi fic #woozi

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lukaherehelp · 7 months

Text

Playboyy EP1 - "Sex is about everyone"

PART 1

okey, let's get it:

The fountain a la WAP really fits the show, ain't going to lie.

Something tells me that Zouy liked/likes Nant, idk why. Like, they are showing us that Zouy and Nant were pretty close and Nant was definetly a safe space for Zouy for everything, sex talk included. September 15th, 2022 - what was your wish, Zouy?

"Pacebook". I love this show, I swear. Now, the video is posted on the 18th although the video is from a year ago, but also: First's comment asking "where are you? are you coming to class?" was made 2 weeks ago. So... Nant went missing at the beginning of 3rd year.

as I said before, hilarious that Zouy and Jade share the same laptop, "Deadline is faster than Karma" is the true collegue/uni experience!

The parallels to OF are strong but I'm not going to go deep into it. A little tmi: I'm a virgin, I'm not ashame of it and never will be. On contrary to Zouy (and Mew) I'm lucky to have friends since my high school years that never cared neither pressured me into changing this about me. As everyone fuckin should. And that's the commentary both shows are doing on this. But we are going to focus on Playboyy here. Zouy pointing out that Porche, Captain and First being so on the nose about each others sex lifes is the reason Nant went missing, is a really valid point. This group probably met each other on 1st year, so at 18 years old. That's still an age were you can easily sucumb to pressure from your "friends" whom are just giving "friendly advice", while you are trying to "fit in". But it can get you into serious trouble. Porsche, Captain and First are finding out now that their "harmless" behaviour can lead to bad things happening to others only because these others (Nant and Zouy) wanna "fit in" with the group with them.

Feeling all those eyes on you, even if they are "friendly", is a heavy burden.

Now, the whole scene with Jump was highly amusing at the begining, but when it came the time to be Jump and Zouy to be alone, it was painful to watch for the same reason I just talked about but also gives us more insight on Zouy's relationship with sex: he's not ready to get physical yet but he still gets horny like the rest of the lads in this household (everyone is horny 24/7, I love them)

baby boy was so out of his element, come here, let me wrap you in a blankie. is okey.

Now, I must say: Him asking Jump to pose like Rose in Titanic IS FUCKIN HILARIOUS. PEAK ART CLICHÉ. He really said "I want to paint you like one of my french girls" and I almost busted a lung laughing.

I feel like this is some random model drawing, not Nant. But I could be wrong.

Another moment that knocked the air out of my lungs: Porche and Captain walking on Zouy and First. CAN WE PLEASE START LOCKING THE FUCKIN DOORS? DIDN'T WE LEARNED FROM VENUS IN THE SKY?!

This "punishment" is not effective at all but deeply amusing.

Zouy comments again how uncomfortable this makes him and I feel so sorry for him. I know the rest are just trying "to help" but they are not helping at all. Their behaviour got Nant into trouble in the first place and Zouy clearly doesn't wanna end like him as well...

Now, the demon @respectthepetty has teached us well about color and I wanna point out:

Zouy's backack is yellow... and so is Teena's bike

Also, lowkey introducing us to Keen. Captain gets so distracted side-eyeing him that he ends up bumping into Puen. And it adds another problem: the rich kids don't like the scholarship students.

They know what they are doing...

... and I thank them for it *cue chrome arts by onlyoneof*

See, this is when I started loosing my shit:

Sir, we get it, you are hot af, BUT 5FT WAY PLEASE, WE JUST MET.

fuckin hell Kaowoat, you are a beautiful man, lord have mercy on me.

I'm going to end up with a collection of this three and there reactions, am I not?

I'LL CONTINUE ON ANOTHER POST.

#playboyy #playboyy the series #thai bl #thai drama #bl drama

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perspectivestarters · 11 months

Text

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Speak Now (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift (Part I)

MINE

"Left a small town, never looked back."

"I was a flight risk with a fear of falling."

"Why do we bother with love if it never lasts?"

"Can you believe it?"

"The moment I could see it."

"I can see it now."

"Do you remember, we were sittin' there by the water?"

"You put your arm around me for the first time."

"You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter."

"You are the best thing that's ever been mine."

'We're takin' on the world together.'

"There's a drawer of my things at your place."

"We'll never make my parents' mistakes."

"We got bills to pay."

"We got nothing figured out."

"Do you remember all the city lights on the water?"

"I remember that fight."

"Everything was slippin' right out of our hands."

"That's all I've ever known."

"You took me by surprise."

"I'll never leave you alone."

"Every time I look at you, it's like the first time."

"I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter."

"She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

"Hold on and make it last."

"Never turn back."

"We're gonna make it now."

SPARKS FLY

"The way you move is like a full on rainstorm."

"You're the kind of reckless that should send me runnin'."

"I kinda know that I won't get far."

"Drop everything now."

"Meet me in the pouring rain."

"Kiss me on the sidewalk."

"Take away the pain."

"I see sparks fly whenever you smile."

"Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down."

"Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around."

"My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea."

"You touch me once and it's really somethin'."

"I'm on my guard for the rest of the world."

"I could wait patiently, but I really wish you would."

"Just keep on keepin' your eyes on me."

"It's just wrong enough to make it feel right."

"Won't you whisper soft and slow?"

"I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show."

"Oh, baby, smile."

BACK TO DECEMBER

"I'm so glad you made time to see me."

"How's life?"

"Tell me, how's your family?"

"I haven't seen them in a while."

"Your guard is up and I know why."

"You gave me roses and I left them there to die."

"So, this is me swallowing my pride."

"I'm sorry for that night."

"I go back to December all the time."

"It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missin' you."

"Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine."

"These days, I haven't been sleeping."

"I think about summer, all the beautiful times."

"Realized I loved you in the fall."

"Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind."

"You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye."

"I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile."

"Maybe this is wishful thinkin', probably mindless dreaming."

"If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."

"I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't."

"If the chain is on your door, I understand."

SPEAK NOW

"I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion."

"You are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl."

"This is surely not what you thought it would be."

"I lose myself in a daydream."

"Don't say yes."

"Run away now."

"I'll meet you when you're out of the church, at the back door."

"Don't wait or say a single vow."

"You need to hear me out."

"I am hiding in the curtains."

"It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be."

"She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen."

"I know you wish it was me."

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"There's my last chance."

"Horrified looks from everyone in the room."

"I'm only lookin' at you."

DEAR JOHN

"Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you."

"My mother accused me of losin' my mind."

"You paint me a blue sky, then go back to turn it to rain."

"I lived in your chess game."

"You change the rules every day."

"Wonderin' which version of you I might get on the phone tonight."

"I stopped pickin' up."

"I see it all now that you're gone."

"Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?"

"The girl in the dress cried the whole way home."

"I shoulda known."

"Maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame."

"Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love and take it away."

"You'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand."

"Run as fast as you can."

"You are an expert at "Sorry" and keepin' lines blurry."

"Never impressed by me acing your tests."

"All the girls that you run dry have tired, lifeless eyes 'cause you burned them out."

"I took your matches before fire could catch me."

"I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town."

MEAN

"You, with your words like knives, and swords and weapons that you use against me."

"You have knocked me off my feet again."

"Got me feeling like I'm nothing."

"You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard calling me out when I'm wounded."

"Well, you can take me down with just one single blow."

"Someday, I'll be livin' in a big old city."

"All you're ever gonna be is mean."

"Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me."

"Why you gotta be so mean?"

You, with your switching sides, and your wildfire lies and your humiliation."

"As if I don't already see them."

"I walk with my head down, trying to block you out."

"I'll never impress you."

"I just wanna feel okay again."

"I bet you got pushed around."

"Somebody made you cold."

"The cycle ends right now."

"You can't lead me down that road."

I can see you years from now in a bar.

"That same big, loud opinion but nobody's listening."

"Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things."

"All you are is mean."

"And liar, and pathetic, and alone in life, and mean."

THE STORY OF US

"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us."

"We met and the sparks flew instantly."

"They’re the lucky ones."

"I used to know my place was the spot next to you."

"I'm searchin' the room for an empty seat."

"Lately I don't even know what page you're on."

"So many things that I wish you knew."

"So many walls up, I can't break through."

"We're not speakin'."

"I’m dyin’ to know, is it killin' you like it’s killin' me?"

"I don't know what to say since thе twist of fate when it all broke down."

"Thе story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."

"How'd we end up this way?"

"You're doin' your best to avoid me."

"I was losin' my mind when I saw you here."

"You held your pride like you should've held me."

"I'm scared to see the ending."

"Why are we pretending this is nothin'?"

"I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how"

"I've never heard silence quite this loud."

"This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less."

"I liked it better when you were on my side."

"The battle's in your hands now."

"I would lay my armor down if you said you'd rather love than fight."

"The story of us might be ending soon."

NEVER GROW UP

"It's so quiet in the world tonight."

"To you, everything's funny."

"You got nothing to regret."

"I'd give all I have, honey, if you could stay like that."

"Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up."

"Just stay this little."

"It could stay this simple."

"I won't let nobody hurt you."

"Won't let no one break your heart."

"No one will desert you."

"Just try to never grow up."

"There's just so much you can't do."

"Don't make her drop you off around the block."

"Remember that she's gettin' older, too."

"Don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJs."

"No one's ever burned you."

"Nothing's ever left you scarred."

"Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room."

"Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home."

"Remember the footsteps, remember the words said."

"I just realized everything I have is, someday, gonna be gone."

"They just dropped me off."

"It's so much colder than I thought it would be."

"Wish I'd never grown up."

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #exodusmusing #*mystarters #*speaknow

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sexyfoxlady · 2 years

Text

Male Orc x Female Reader FLUFF!!!

Warnings - swearing, bullying, child abandonment

(sorry if I missed anything else 🤷‍♀️)

' = thoughts

" = speaking

I AM SO SORRY IF THIS IS SHIT THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FICT 😅😅😅

ALL THE ARTWORK/PICTURES SHOWED BELOW AREN'T MINE WHATSOEVER I FOUND THEM ON PINTEREST I REPEAT THE ARTWORK/PICTURES ARE NOT MINE!!!

Rosita:

Lily:

Finn:

"WAHHH!"

Yells out an abounded infant tucked away deep in the forest, when the infant was abandoned it was still light out but now the Moon is high in the sky and the trees shadows dance around the crying infant scaring the baby more so than it was before making the infant cry louder in hopes of rescue.

"My Gods whatever creature is making such horrific sounds shut up already" says Rosita a strong yet beautiful orc, complains to her companion Lily a black grizzly bear. Lily growls lonely in a way of answering Rosita saying she wishes the same. By the time Rosita and Lily got home they could still hear the creature's horrific sounds. When Rosita noticed the creature was not going to stop unless it's forced to she decided to take matters into her own hands, her hands also caring a battle axe she has not used in ages, except for when it comes to chopping firewood.

Once Rosita got to the source of the noise, she held her axe up high ready to strike until she saw what she was about to strike which makes her drop her battle axe immediately

"My Gods you poor thing how long have you been out here" Rosita ask the infant in a motherly tone knowing she's not going to get a response from a infant. She gently picks up the infant with such a gentle hold on the infant back and neck when Rosita lifted the baby, the baby almost immediately stops crying or making such horrific sounds using Rosita's words, with the baby lifted she can get a better look at the abandoned creature when looking into the infant's eyes Rosita notice that the baby had the most beautiful (e/c) eyes she has ever seen.

"Well look at you with your round ears and beautiful eyes, your just the cutest thing aren't you" Rosita coos at the baby and in response to the cooing the baby giggles with the delight because of Rosita's words

"Aw you're so small I haven't seen a human baby since the war, what are you doing out here all alone" she questions to her self as she holds the baby close to her chest looking around for a possible guardian when she realized that the baby was left to die she felt saddened

"I guess even with war over, people are still evil" she speaks to herself again but this time the baby answers with babbles like she understands what she's saying. Rosita looks down at the baby in her arms and smiles softly already knowing she became attached to the abandoned creature.

"Well I guess you need a name" Rosita says this time talking to the infant in her arms the baby babbles again in response for her name

"Aw I wish I knew what you were saying, but how about (y/n) it means brave warrior and you little Moon are a brave warrior" the baby babbles in delight as if she is approving her name.

"I thought you would like that now let's get you home little Moon" Rosita carries her daughter (y/n) back to her cabin well now their cabin

💚10 years later💚

"EW get away from us princess round ears" one of the orcs (y/n) was trying to befriend snapped at her for wanting to play with them, now (y/n) being insecure about her ears not looking like everyone else's flipped her cape's hoodie to cover them, frowning when doing so

"I'm s-sorry I just wanted to play" (y/n) responded shyly she isn't usually shy but when people make fun of her she becomes "small" in a sense

"Well we don't want to play with your kind" the one that made the first comment responded again having the other three behind him start laughing and resulting in (y/n) wrapping her cape tightly around her to try to disappear

"What do you mean my kind I'm like you" (y/n) asked generally confused

"HA no your not your human NOT a orc like us, princess round ears" making the goons behind him laugh hysterically like they're hyenas.

"N-NO Mama says just because I-I don't look like an orc doesn't mean I'm not orc" (y/n) tries to defend her herself not knowing that she's making matters worse.

"Well your "mama" is probably old and dumb like you"

"MY MAMA IS NOT OLD AND DUMB A-AND IM NOT E-EITHER" losing more of her voice when trying to defend herself and her mother Rosita but the orcs she was trying to befriend just laugh louder in her face making her eyes turn blurry threatening tears to fall.

"HEY" yelled another kid from across the field

"UGH here comes goody two shoes to save the rounded ear princess, let's go guys" the orc that was just previously bullying her walked away with his goons. The "goody two shoes" finally made their way in front of (y/n)

"You don't have to do that you know their's just going to start making fun of you too" (y/n) tells the "goody two shoes"

"oh I'm not worried" the orc boy in front of her says

"I'm Finn by the way" the boy now named as Finn says reaching out his hand for her to shake, she's hesitant though not knowing if this boy is trying to pull something on her. When Finn noticed that she wasn't going to shake his hand he chuckled awkwardly when putting his hand away to hind it behind his back

"I heard what those guys were saying about you and your mom and I'm sure it's not true, in fact I bet your mom is a super young and smart" Finn says with such enthusiasm it makes the girl in front of him blush before responding with a huge grin on her face

"SHE IS, m-my name is (y/n)" (y/n) rebutted with a passionate but also shyly response

"Oh like brave warrior" Finn explained with a wide grin on his face, (y/n) being taken back by someone who actually knows what her name means not just her mother and Lily, it makes her blush a deep red resulting with Finn chuckling a little bit from seeing her face thinking it's kinda cute.

"I-I have to go now BYE" (y/n) says while running towards her cabin far too embarrassed to continue a conversation with Finn at that moment.

Once home she runs straight inside to the kitchen to talk to Rosita about her day

"MAMA" yells her 10-year-old girl excitingly who clenches to her mother's leg

"LITTLE MOON" Rosita drops the knife she's using to cut up some vegetables for dinner tonight to pick up her daughter with her in her arms (y/n) starts to ramble about her day and how she had trouble making friends at first and how she made one at the end she thinks

"those son of a bitches" Rosita whispered to herself but her daughter over heard her so resulting in her daughter telling her that swearing is bad

"Swearing is only bad if you're using it to hurt others" Rosita told her daughter proud of herself for her smart solution to her swearing

"Oooo so when you say those son of a britches your not really being mean" (y/n) says more to herself then her mother trying to understand that swearing is only bad when you're using it to hurt others.

'I want to tell her so bad that it's bitches not britches but I can't I'm already fucking up right now with giving my 10-year-old daughter swearing knowledge'

"okay enough with the swearing talk what about this boy Finn you met" Rosita trying desperate to steer the conversation to something more 10-year-old friendly

"um I don't know he's nice I guess" (y/n) bashfully said looking away from her mother

"Oh Oh OH" her mother chant excitingly making her daughter turn a brighter red than she already was

"Mama stopppp" beg the little girl already feeling embarrassment from how she ended her conversation with Finn as it is

"Ok ok little Moon I'll stop but I want to know more about this Finn boy pleaseeee" begged her mother whose eyes were pleading to know more about this mysterious boy who was able to get her daughter to be bashful

"H-He know what my name meant" said the young girl who finally turned to look in her mother's eyes after her sentence was finished. Rosita's reaction was surprised she hasn't met anyone that knew what her daughter's name meant but here comes a 10-year-old boy that knows what it mean Rosita could feel her heart swarm with happiness for her daughter

"Aw little Moon he sounds like a sweetheart" causing her daughter to blush again but this time wiggling out of her mother's arm to escape, Rosita let her go with a chuckle watching as her daughter runs out the house to most likely play with her companion Lily

"OK MAMA BYE BYE LOVE YOU"

"LOVE YOU TOO" Rosita chuckles to herself lightly while shaking her head in a slow back and forth

"Oh what am I going to do with you little Moon"

💚10 years later💚

"MAMA I'M HEADING DOWN TO THE MARKETS DO YOU NEED ANYTHING" (y/n) yelled echoed through the house to get her mother's attention, it startled Rosita and Lily who was sitting in the living room reading a book with her companion laying by her feet

" Little Moon for the love of all Gods why must you yell" Rosita kindly but sternly scolded her daughter for yelling in the house

"Sorry Mama I didn't know where you were"

"Now young lady you know damn well I don't leave this house" Rosita at her daughter watching her laugh because of her comment

"You're right you're right what was I thinking you having a social life silly me" (y/n) joked back with her mother

"Ha ha so funny, but since you're going to the markets could you drop off those logs by the door to Finn's father" Rosita asked her daughter with a small smile on her face knowing her daughter's reaction whenever Finn's name is brought up

"S-Sure" blushing profusely by just hearing the young adult's name

"Come on Lily" Lily got up from her spot next to your mother's feet to help you take the stack of logs to Finn's father, once loaded up and ready to go you say a final goodbye to your mother before heading to the markets or more specifically Finn I mean Finn's father

💚30 Min Later💚

"Looks like we're here Lily" (y/n) said gently petting on top of her head before climbing off her to unload all the logs from the wagon that was wheeling behind us, (y/n) bent down to pick up one of the logs 'SHIT why are these so heavy' (y/n) thought to herself as she waddles one of the logs to their destination spot but before she could make it the log begin to slip from her grasp luckily before it could hit the ground and probably her feet too, two big strong green hands caught the log before it hit the ground.

"Hey princess" Finn says with one of the most beautiful grins you have ever seen you used to hate the nickname because that's what people usually would use when bullying you.

The "round ear princess" but whenever Finn uses that nickname and makes your heart flutter like it's about to burst out of your chest at any second, he helps lift up the log to carry it the rest of the way showing off his toned arms as he does so.

"H-Hi Finn" 'oh my God speak normally you sound like an idiot' you internally yelled to yourself as you embarrassly greet yourself to Finn, him thinking it cute, placing the log that he helped you with in it's designated spot before walking back to where Lily is to unload the rest

"Thanks for coming all this way just to drop off some lousy logs" Finn says with a green blush on his face as he realize he was in close proximity with you when helping unload the rest of the logs

"O no no it's really no problem at all I had nothing else going on anyway" 'oh my god did I just blatantly tell this God of a man that I have no social life, greattt' you try laughing it off like you meant to say that

"Well to be honest I'm glad you had nothing else going on it means I get to see you" 'WHAT THE HELL how can he say something like that and not be internally screaming' he is tho.

Both 20 year olds looked away from each other with both green and red faces

"I'm sorry did that sound weird" Finn asked feeling self-conscious with what he just said

"No no I'm actually glad I get to see you too" (y/n) says with her (e/c) sparkling with love unknown to him

"fuckkkk her eyes are gorgeous" not knowing that he just said that sentence out loud

"WHAT" shouted both the young adults making their already green and red faces darker if that was even possible

"I'm so sorry I thought I-" he starts before he cuts himself off realizing what he is about to say will be just as bad as what he already said

"N-No it's o-ok I-I have to get going now anyways the sun is setting" 'SHIT you forgot about the markets' the voice in the back of your head said

"Right" Finn response while shooting finger guns at her, he is internally screaming at himself once again (y/n) chuckles lightly to herself before parting ways with Finn

💚30 Min Later💚

"MAMA HOW DO I COURT FINN" yells Rosita's daughter, Rosita being in the same spot she was when they originally left, has now spit out her tea when the words "courting" left her daughter's mouth

"First off what did I tell you about yelling in this damn house and second OMG YOU WANT TO COURT FINN" Rosita yells at practically the same volume her daughter did when she first walked in, Rosita jumps up from her spot in the living room to run to her daughter to embrace her with such excitement about her daughter's realization 'finally' Rosie's thought to herself

"Well what are you doing to ask him" Rosie to ask was excitement in her voice for her daughter's plans

"Um I-I don't actually know quite yet" Rosita hold her daughter at arms lengths as she looks at her daughter confusingly, like her daughter hasn't been thinking about her plan for the past 20 years, HER DAUGHTER

"What do you mean you don't know"

"I-I actually wanted to ask you what is a traditional way orcs ask to court" one second question left her daughter's mouth her grin grew tenfold

"Oh my Gods my little Moon it's the most precious thing on this planet" Rosita says wiping away fake tears while squeezing her daughter with so much love and affection it could almost cause death

"Mamaaa can you please just help me with this" (y/n) begged her mother but the beg was also for her to stop with her over excited reaction

"Ok ok you could give him a handmade bracelet and ask him"

"oh my Gods yes bracelet beading I can absolutely do that but what colors should I pick" (y/n) asked while looking at her mother hoping she had an answer for her.

"Oh no don't look at me, this is your courting and you need to pick the colors or color, whatever, just pick little Moon"

"But Mama don't you love me and don't you want to help me" you ask while giving your mother the biggest puppy dog eyes you could make

"I do love you little Moon that's why I'm letting you do this on your own" Rosita smile lovingly at her daughter as she softly caressed her cheek before bopping her on the nose then walking back into the living room to continue reading.

💚The Next Day💚

(y/n) ran down the stairs to the front door ready to go out to give Finn her courting gift

"BYE MAMA"

"Wait a damn minute, where are you going"

"I'm going to see Finn" (y/n) was confused on why her mother was asking where she was going there's only one place she wanted to go to.

"Wait so you're telling me you finish your courting gift for him"

"Yep" (y/n) said with a light blush on her face and a big grin to show her excitement but also nervousness

"Damnnnnn you must really like him if you want him off the market so fast" Rosita jokes making her daughter babble like when she was younger only causing Rosita to laugh more

"Okay are you done I'm going now" rolling your eyes playfully, you gently kissed your mother's cheek before heading to the front door once again

"Byeee wish me luck"

"Oh little Moon you do not need luck one bit that boy is so smitten by you" your blushing face now lasting longer because of your mother, leaving the front door to see Lily waiting for herself

"Let's go Lily" (y/n) said climbing on to Lily's back

💚30 Min Later💚

Climbing off of Lily you see Finn in the distance working on his family's farm before you call out to him to get his attention you clutch the bracelet you've worked on all night to your chest almost like giving a little prayer to the Gods that everything will work out.

"FINN" you yelled waving your arms above your head to try to get his attention, when you finally do get his attention he looks up and when he sees you his face breaks out into a huge smile with the light tint of green blushing his cheeks.

"Princess what are you doing here, are you dropping off some more lousy wood" Finn jokes

"N-No no wood today" 'can I please say one sentence to him without messing up' taking a deep breath and bundling up all the courage you have you begin on your mission to court the man you love

"I'm actually here to ask you something" you say seriously which concern Finn because you didn't mess up your sentence in front of him which to him can only mean something's wrong.

"Well are you all right is everything okay" 'my Gods this man is so thoughtful' you thought to yourself before you continue with your mission speeding up the process a little to not worry Finn further

"Don't worry it's nothing bad... unless you don't like it" saying the second part more to yourself but Finn still being able to hear you nonetheless

"I doubt I could ever dislike something you give me"

"I sure hope so" you chuckle lightly to get rid of the nerves that are now building up faster than you like before your nerves can get the best of you can take deep breath before clasping both of your hands around the bracelet before hesitantly pushing your clasp hands forward so it's in front of Finn, he looks down at your hands confused before you open up your hands hesitantly revealing the bracelet you made for Finn that matches your eyes, you found the most beautiful (e/c) beads that were the closest match, Finn is still confused but also hoping this bracelet means what he thinks it means

"I-I like you a-and would like to court you if if that's alright with you and my Gods I hope it's okay with you because this will be so embarrassing if not th-" before you can continue with your rambling Finn gently grabbed your face in such a way making us lock eyes before he softly spoke

"I would love nothing more than to be yours" both smiling from ear to ear with faces bright green and red, (y/n) pushed the bracelet on Finn's wrist before Finn leans down slowly to capture your lips with his before he could pull back from the kiss you pulled him back in for just a couple more seconds making him chuckle lightly which made your lips tickle slightly thinking to himself how cute your actions was. Finn held your face still in each other's arms as you slowly backed away from each other looking deeply into each other's eyes he spoke softly for only you to hear

"fuck I love you" resorting with both you guys giggling in each other's arms then gently laying your head on Finn's chest feeling how his heart only beats for you. 💚💚💚

#orc x reader #orc x human #monster x reader #monster #fluff #monster fic #monster fluff #monster x y/n #so cute #cute #new

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