#i'm really not trying to sound arrogant but it's making me realize I am like the OG kaylor lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amarias-yandere-blog · 2 years

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Ningguang w/ a darling that has depression and struggles trying to get up from bed and do basic things, especially with eating ?

Sorry if it’s a bit much I’ve been struggling lately but take ur time, and if you can’t get to this one, it’s okay — hope you’re having a wonderful trip in AZ! <3

First of all, this isn't too much at all! Your so valid and I completely understand that basic things can take up energy that we just don't have.

Remember that though things are hard right now, it's always worth fighting for, and that it won't be hard in the future. Even if it takes a day, a week, or years, I promise it will get better. This is a reminder to everyone that you're loved, appreciated, and needed. You're all one of my precious followers and readers, and without you guys, I wouldn't be as successful or known as I am right now.

Notes: The reader is not specified, but I did write this with a more-feminine reader bc I myself am female. Remember that I don't condone forceful feedings, actions, or anything that causes someone else pain, discomfort, or guilt. If you are in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, please realize that it is not a healthy relationship and that you deserve so much better.

Also this was answered super duper late and I'm really sorry but I hope you enjoyed it just the same!

Please enjoy!!

💛✨💛✨

I don't know if I can do this

The bed was hot, heavy and comforting.

It was everything that she was not. Despite a warm smile, curved eyes filled with love, sweet words, they were like wisps of clouds across your skin, dampening your mood and making you feel untethered.

But she did try. You appreciated it, really. It just... felt like a lie. Your head couldn't accept it, that she did try, that she wanted to be around you. That she made time for you.

But her hands were cold and light and delicate. Just like the fabric that hugged her abundant curve, like the lipgloss covering her soft lip, delicate and light and untethered, much like her palace in the sky.

"Y/n?" The deep, fine grain voice announced the appearance of the Tianquan. You hummed. Pulling the covers across your head, you decided that you wished for a weight that Ningguang could not provide.

Lofty. Idealistic. Someone who didn't understand how you felt. Soft breaths clouded the air, making it thick and hard to breath. It was hot. Uncomfortably so. But still you stayed, wishing for peace and alone time. And yet the door somehow opened.

Must've accidentally forgotten to lock the door, you thought, waving off the feeling of uncomfort. A heaviness dipped the bed, someone sitting at your hips, and stroking your head. It was silent.

"Y/n... you need to get up." Ningguang spoke sternly, though it wasn't without care or sweetness. "We've so much to see. Beidou will be coming back from port, and I hear she brought herself a souvenir from Inazuma. And the traveler tells me of-"

"Traveler this, Beidou that, let's do this and that." You interrupted, though it was a whisper compared to her power-edged voice. "I don't care. I don't want to go. I don't want to do anything. I want to be alone." Your voice became numb with bluntness. It didn't sound like you. It sounded lost, like whispers in the snow...

"...You haven't been eating lately." Ninnguang states, clearly talking about your shelves that have been gathering nothing but dust for days now.

"Not hungry." You shrugged, despite the voice rumbling deep in your belly. It was a miracle you still looked like you did, actually.

"Dear... you need to eat." Ninnguang's voice is gentle, but also arrogant. She was clearly worried. It just didn't feel like enough. Nothing felt like enough. "Come on, let's get you ready, and then we can go where ever you like for the evening."

"Why do you even care?" You hadn't meant to blurt the question outloud, but it escaped your lips all the same. She looked at you with disbelief.

"Y/n... It's because you're special to me, of course." The woman said it so softly, so warmly, that it was grounding and lifting all the same. "Now please, get up, I haven't got all day." She returns to her normal attitude, but it is not as irrate now.

"Ok..." You lift the blankets from your head, seeing the white-haired girl for the first time that day.

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leftperfectionmoon · 2 years

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“night patrolling”

• pairing: sirius black x slytherin!fem!reader

• summary: patrolling the corridors of hogwarts at night as a prefect can be difficult. but it's even more difficult when the eldest of the black siblings keeps disrupting your patrol.

• genre: fluff

• word count: 2,353

• warnings: none

oneshots masterlist taglist

requests are open, feel free to ask!

The hallways of Hogwarts are dimly lit, with tiny floating lamps in each corner. The soft currents of the cool wind make the flames dance and they scatter flickering patterns of light on the floor. It's late in the evening and you'd think it would be quiet. But it isn't.

The Slytherin prefect has managed to pin the wandering marauder under her wand and appears extremely displeased about it.

“That's absolutely not happening. Just go back to your dorm and don't be my problem,” (Y/N) whispers aggressively to the raven-haired Gryffindor as she steps closer to look intimidating.

He steps back wisely, pushing his back against the wall, and raises his hands in defense.

“Look, it's not that I don't appreciate your warm conduct,” Sirius exhales, feigning a smile as he urges her, “but I really, only need ten minutes. Please.”

(Y/N)'s face contorts in frustration and she suppresses an annoying cry. He has been testing her patience for the last twenty minutes. She should've reported him to a teacher right away.

“This is not a bargain, you mo—”

She stops speaking abruptly at the sound of steps coming from nearby. Her eyes dart at the corner of the corridor then back again at the boy pinned under her wand.

“Great. Malfoy. Just what I needed,” she mutters.

Sirius's eyes grow wide sensing the trouble, but to his surprise (Y/N) grabs his wrist and drags him along with her to the other end of the hallway.

“What are you—” He whispers confusedly as he watches her open the broom closet just around the corner.

“Shut up and get in!” She whispers back, pushing him inside.

Sirius frowns briefly before quickly holding the partially closed door in its place and gives her a taunting smile as the realization hits him.

“Are you hiding me?” He laughs, “From Malfoy?”

“Just do me a favor and shut up, okay?” She hisses, before closing the door just in time to see Lucius stalking toward her.

“What was that noise?” He asks, an eyebrow raised sternly at her.

“It was Peeves,” she answers, without missing a beat.

“Peeves?” Lucius frowns, before looking past her as if to confirm, “I just saw him on the second floor. Are you sure?”

“Hm, I'm sure,” She replies again, keeping her answers to a minimum.

Lucius studies her for a second and then his eyes move to the closet next to her. The door isn't closed all the way.

“What do you need that for?” He points at the door.

“Oh, that,” (Y/N) chuckles, then walks towards it and kicks it shut, “That— I was actually just putting all those supplies back inside. Peeves has been throwing them all over the place.”

If Peeves finds out about this lie, which (Y/N) is sure he will, he'll make her life difficult. But she can worry about that later, as this seemed good enough to convince Lucius because he steps back and looks away from the closet.

“Alright, well, keep a close eye everywhere. I heard some students are trying to sneak out. If you see anyone, you report to me,” he orders, pointing his index finger at himself.

Normally, (Y/N) would respond to his arrogance with a passive-aggressive comment, but since this doesn't seem like a good time, she lets it go.

“And I am going to have a little chat with our professors about the Poltergeist,” she hears Lucius mutter as he walks away.

She watches him turn around the corner and disappear and waits a good two minutes to make sure that he's really gone before opening the broom closet.

“Peeves is not going to be pleased with that,” Sirius states with a smirk, stepping out of the closet.

“Don't worry, I'll handle that,” (Y/N) returns a false smile, “Now get back to your dorm before I change my mind.”

She watches him as he sizes her up with a coy smile, then turns around and disappears towards the staircase.

— — — — — — —

The universe seems to be testing (Y/N), because as she goes to her assigned hallway to patrol, she finds Sirius Black in the same spot as she had met him the day before. Only this time, he was standing quietly by the broom closet.

“Quite a bit of routine of yours, is it?” she asks with the faintest hint of a smile as she approaches him.

He pushes off the wooden door and shrugs with a guilty smile. A gust of wind blows his hair in his face, and he takes a ring-clad hand from his pockets to brush the hair out of his sight. (Y/N) stares at his fingers and it is only now that she realizes how his rings make his hands look more mature than his boyish face.

“Why didn't you report me to Malfoy yesterday?”

“Is this why you sneaked all the way to ask me?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Sneaking isn't a problem,” he smirks with a shrug.

“I'm aware,” (Y/N) nods, her smile growing.

“Well?”

She exhales an exasperated sigh.

“Well, I know that Malfoy holds a grudge against you,” she mentions and smoothly turns around to move to the other end of the hallway, “He would've landed you in a month's worth of detention with a lot of false details against you. And he would only do it for his amusement.”

“Yes, but,”—he slides his hands deep back inside his pockets and follows her— “why?”

“Why? Because I'm not a bully. That's why!” She scoffs before doing a mock courtesy bow, “Oh, I apologize if I don't fit in your Slytherin stereotypes.”

“That's not what I meant!” Sirius stresses, “Look, I don't believe my Head of the House would have spared me. And I honestly didn't think you'd let me slip out of your hands after you nailed me to the wall, ” he shoots her a wide grin, “So, just wanted to express my gratitude.”

(Y/N) tries but fails to inaudibly laugh at the innuendo and Sirius appears quite pleased with himself.

“Okay, if I accept your gratitude will you go back to your dorm and try not to get me in trouble?” She asks, her jaw tightening to avoid another grin creeping onto her face. One of her hands rests authoritatively on her hip.

“No promises,” Sirius smiles.

(Y/N) throws her head back in surrender, then starts walking knowing that the boy will now follow her for the rest of the evening.

— — — — — — —

Little did she know that it would not be the last night she would see Sirius. He came back the next day, and then the day after that, and another one after that until it became his routine for weeks. Every day he found a new excuse to stay and talk to (Y/N) until her shift ended. Sometimes it was about keeping her company, because how boring it must be keeping an eye on those empty hallways all alone. Sometimes it'd be about being there as a backup in case Peeves decided to get back at her. Or sometimes it was just about, well, getting on her nerves.

(Y/N), was very reluctant about his presence for the first few days. But eventually, she gave in. Mostly it was just back and forth bickering between them, but sometimes she would also vent to him if she'd had a difficult day. In return, he'd tell her about their latest prank that his friends and he cooked up (with a promise of confidentiality) or about James Potter's latest unsuccessful attempt to woo Lily Evans. Of course, that didn't mean that Sirius was completely off the hook. She still threatened to report him and complained about his constant talking, but she didn't have the heart to actually report him to Malfoy, so he ended up in the broom closet most days.

A voice hollers from the end of the hallway calling her name, and (Y/N) takes no time to recognize it. She's been worried she has started to hear it everywhere recently. His presence always makes her panic.

“I'm here! I'm here! I know, I'm late,” The cold, empty air is now filled with his voice, and (Y/N) winces at the sound. “Sorry if I kept you waiting! James needed my help.”

A smile battling its way onto her lips. She doesn't dare to let him catch a glimpse of it.

“Keep your voice down, you nutter!” (Y/N) scowls at him over her shoulder before continuing forward to mutter, “And honestly, no one's asked you to be here.”

"Is that why you look so pleased?” Sirius quips up as he finally appears by her side.

A wide, blushing grin is now plastered on (Y/N)'s face and she wants to whack Sirius for it. But she suppresses the urge and looks at him instead.

His hair looks messier than usual as if he had rummaged through it several times with his fingers. His cheeks are flushed pink from the cool evening air. He's still wearing his uniform, and a loose tie hangs around his neck. The lack of an upper robe makes him look leaner than usual. He is walking so close to her that she feels the warmth radiating from him. Sirius Black has never looked more huggable. But (Y/N) keeps that thought to herself and averts her gaze away from him and instead says,

“Don't push your luck with me, Black.”

He follows after her as they continue down the long, familiar hallway with unfading grins on their faces and likely waiting for each other to break the pleasant silence that has fallen between the two.

Less to her surprise, Sirius breaks it.

“Did you have a good day?” he asks, then smoothly turns around, walking backward as he faces her.

“Yes,” (Y/N) answers, trying not to look amused by the small talk.

“Did you enjoy your dinner?”

Her eyes narrow at him, this time with a chuckle, as she tilts her head to the side.

“Why do you care? Don't you have some diabolical prank to plan with your friends?” Her hands lock behind herself.

“Diabolical?” Sirius pipes up, “Mind you, our pranks are extremely entertaining and much appreciated.”

“I doubt that, but whatever it takes to get you out of my hair, I guess,” (Y/N) shrugs as an amused smile finally takes over her lips.

“So you don't mind if I just go and set up a cozy little trap for someone?” He scrutinizes her suspiciously.

“Since when do you need my permission to get into trouble?”

“Well, you saved me from getting into trouble. So I owe you one,” he shrugs, returning a smile as he continues walking backward, “Besides, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble now that we're friends.”

(Y/N) glances at the infuriating curve of his lips and shakes her head as if those thoughts gathering inside her mind would fall out by that action.

“We are not friends,” she glares forward disapprovingly but stiffly trots towards him to turn him at an angle as they approach a turn.

If the floors were to burst open and engulf her inside it she would be grateful for it. The insides of her cheeks are possibly sore from biting so hard on them while trying not to smile. But despite that, she would hate for this night to end. If she could, she'd spend all her nights like this; sore-cheeked, blushing, stumbling around the cold hallways ‘til late, just so Sirius would look at her the way he is looking at her right now.

“Would it be such a bad thing to admit that you like me?” He challenges as he stops walking, the corners of his mouth turned up.

(Y/N) stops too. Her eyes glare at him with a stiff jaw before looking away as she tries not to let his blooming grin affect her cheeks.

Would it really be such a bad thing to admit her crush on Sirius Black?

“Well?” Sirius asks before he steps closer to her and ducks down slightly to be in her eyesight, “It can't be that bad, can it?”

A gust of wind sweeps through the quiet hallway and (Y/N) feels goosebumps rising on her skin. She hears her heart beating inside her ears after her fingers curl slowly around Sirius's loose tie.

“I guess not,” she murmurs looking up at him.

Sirius's gaze travels back and forth between her palm wrapped in his tie and her eyes, and with one soft tug on the little piece of fabric, she feels his lips on hers.

(Y/N) swears she felt the world stop spinning. His lips taste of what she assumes is the strawberry gum that he always offers her but she always refuses. His slow and teasing fingers crawl up her spine making her stomach clench. Her hands claw at the nape of his neck, and her fingers wrap themselves in his curls. No one has ever kissed her like this before. As if their life depended on it. Is this how every person who had ever kissed Sirius Black felt?

Sirius doesn't let her finish that thought, as he pulls her closer to him and engulfs her with the warmth of his arms while his teeth dig deep into her lips. With a breathless gasp, she has to pull away to catch her breath. Her hands still stay tangled in his hair, unable to break away from his touch as she feels the cold air caress her lips.

His grip on her loosens, but his hands remain firmly on her waist, holding her in one place. She can almost feel a smug comment forming in his head when his grin reduces to a sly smirk.

“Say a word and I'll hex you,” (Y/N) says quickly, returning his grin.

Sirius raises his eyebrows and makes an open and close motion with his lips as if to carefully shape his words.

“Can I come back tomorrow?”

(Y/N) only rolls her eyes before pulling him back into another kiss.

sirius black tags: @teenwolfbitches28 @black-rose-29 @chcrryrots @j-cat @winter-moony @mystic-writings

💌 a/n: hey everyone! thank you so much for reading! requests are open, so if you have any requests let me know. hope you're having a lovely day!

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x slytherin reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black one shot #marauders #sirius black #young sirius black #sirius black masterlist #hp marauders #hp masterlist #marauders masterlist #sirius black drabble

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spongeofaces · 1 day

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Hiii!!! I saw your request and figured I’d drop one in your inbox too hehe. If you’re too busy don’t feel pressured to do this, but a TWST matchup would be lovely!

Personality: I'm a Scorpio, INFJ-T, and in general I'd say I align with those assignments. I'm extremely introverted to the point of being asocial. I spend most of my time by myself, and if I could I'd do everything on my own, since I'm stubbornly independent, and very cautious around people, even those I know well. Despite this, I'm not unfriendly, I just have a really hard time connecting with others due to my social anxiety. I really appreciate people who go out of their way to connect with me, and I make friends with people quickly when I get the chance. Once I get comfy I become very blunt and humorous. I tend to say and do as I please, though never to the detriment of someone else, as I tend to put other's needs above my own. I'll talk for hours about my interests and passions, and I'm always up for a challenge. I also have a very strong moral compass, and I refuse to compromise on it. I try to be kind above all else, especially to those who seem to be in a rough place, as I haven’t always been treated kindly, and I want others to feel loved. I’m known for giving great advice and being a good shoulder to cry on, but I don’t let others take advantage of that. I do well in emergency situations, especially when leadership is needed, but I also tend to crumble under mounting stress, and lash out when upset. Overall I'm determined, creative, and compassionate, but also stubborn, judgmental, and fearful.

Likes: I love horror media and anything deemed unsettling, since things that make me uncomfortable fascinate me. I love animals (especially tarantulas and spiders) and nature, and I spend a lot of time drawing and painting the world around me and taking walks on sunny days. On that note, I’m an explorer, and I tend to get into spaces I shouldn’t be if only because my curiosity got the better of me. I enjoy composing, playing, and listening to music, especially instrumentals, rock, and soundtracks. I also play video games, especially RPGs and FPS games. I’m a boxer and archer, and while I don’t like athletics and sports that much, climbing, running, and adventuring outside is always fun for me, especially with friends.

Dislikes: Inconsiderate people, especially when they’re not aware of how they’re inconveniencing others. Trutthfully, I can be very judgemental and picky with friends or associates, and if someone annoys me even slightly I tend to disregard them. I also dislike those who are arrogant and cruel, and I have a particular distaste for seafood and being touched.

What I look for in a partner: Someone who is kind and understanding of my flaws, and especially someone with a good sense of humor. I feel like I don’t truly connect with people until we laugh about something together. I value honesty and communication as well, so someone who isn’t willing or can’t be open and vulnerable with me is a no go. As pessimistic as I am, I also believe in doing good and making other people’s days a little bit brighter if possible, so I couldn’t be around a cynic or someone intentionally cruel.

Fun Fact: I like to read medical textbooks, and I find visiting cadaver labs and watching medical procedures thrilling.

Again, no pressure, and have a fantastic day or night!!

Not going to lie, my writing quality for this one sucks, so I hope you still like it ❤️❤️❤️

I match obsoleteozymandias with...

Kalim!! 🌼

It took a while for him to realize that his feelings for you were romantic. He just assumed he thought of you as a very very very close friend whom he completely and utterly adores. He's totally just a tad oblivious.

He figured out he liked you when Jamil brought up how much he talked about you. Kalim thought that it was normal, but Jamil slowly explained that it sounded like a bit more than a friendship to him.

Kalim would spare no expense to keep you happy. His love language is definitely gift-giving or quality time. Every time he finds something that reminds him of you or he thinks you'd like, he immediately purchases it and gives it to you with a smile. He doesn't quite understand that you don't need all this stuff...

A bit clingy, but if you tell him to back off he will.

Always ready to give you a shoulder to cry on, rant to, whatever. The guy wants to help out however he can.

Asks plenty of questions. Favourite colour? Favourite food? Whatever comes to mind, he'll ask. Please tell him everything about your interests, he'd listen to you talk for days.

Very understanding. He may not be quite sure of all the details in some situations, but he trusts you and your judgement completely.

Adventures, adventures and more adventures! He'll drag you off somewhere fun, like a picnic in the middle of nowhere!

He's willing to try anything if it's for you. Maybe it's a game you really like, or music you enjoy.

Kalim feels sad when you're sad, so he always tries his best to cheer you up. Telling jokes, offering hugs. Whatever he thinks you might need.

Silly, oblivious, please guide him. He doesn't really know what a relationship entails.

Kalim admires you. He just wants to look after you, make you feel loved as you do him.

Definitely the kind of guy who believes that he'll marry his first love.

Flowers, flowers, flowers. Gifts, gifts, gifts.

Honestly, he's just the most compassionate, sweetest guy. Whatever you'd like, he'd get you. Whatever pace you want in the relationship, he'd follow it. He takes your boundaries very seriously.

Other options: Epel and Idia.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland matchups #twst matchup

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cccgsr-blog · 8 months

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I'm fed up with all the "Halsin was traumatized by his three years life being drow mistresses' plaything so seriously, that he couldn't blablablabla" thing. If we talk about trauma, mind that he had spent a hundred years desperately trying to find and free Thaniel and lift the shadow curse and failed and feel powerless and guilty for it, I'll say it's tramanize him more than anything.

Halsin was born with a soul bonding to nature that he could see Thaniel from his childhood and didn't even realize Thaneil wasn't a "normal" soul, such a golden spirit he is. Yet someone said it's because he was not accepted by his society so he stick with Thaneil. Excuse me? WHO NEEDS HUMAN (or elves, whatever) FRIENDS WHEN HE COULD PLAY WITH THE VERY SPIRIT OF NATURE ITSELF??? To make it like the nature was only the second choice for him, that he turned to nature only because he was disregarded and mistreated by societies, that he was forced to chose nature instead of HE WAS INITIALLY BOUND WITH NATURE FROM THE VERY START, that he used nature as a disguise rather than HIS FIRST AND FORMOST CHOICE IS ALWAYS NATURE ITSELF, sounds so arrogant and civilization-insolence to me that makes me feel it's an insult to the very core of Halsin's personality.

Just accept that he's not into Tav that much! He is not interested in making a commitment with Tav bcs he is not interested in committing himself to any individual damn it! His heart laid with nature and I AM FUCKING LOVING IT.

I know ppl talk about his trauma with different reasons and some genuinely love him and sympathize his experiences with their own, I totally understand it. But some ensusiatic focus on his "trauma" and the insisting of Larian didn't dig enough into his "trauma" sounds bordering kink talkings to me. If anyone really into sexual trauma kink that much, just turn left to Astarion, he has tons of traumas to appease ppl's fetish.

#start to block all the posts that consider the answer to all Halsin's actions that not appease to social norms is his time with drows #Yes he is VERY fond of Tav but that still doesn't mean #Halsin is the first druid that make me feel the druid's devotion/faith actually means something both to themselves and to the nature #rather than “it's just another class in dnd that couldn't even fight effectively”

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arithecreatorsstuff · 1 year

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AGENT (REDACTED) HAS A BAD DAY

It started out so well. I had a good breakfast, managed to start work on time despite Dr. Bright hogging the coffee maker in the break room (again), and had just gotten my first assignments of the day. Then I saw it. My first test would likely be my last... try and talk to 076-2. Yikes.

"Who on O5 did I offend this badly?" I wondered as I headed to the cell. As I passed my fellow staffers, many gave me pitying looks. "There goes a doomed idiot girl, poor thing has no idea what's coming." Great. And now I heard voices. It seemed all but official, I am done for.

I bypass the guards, the security, and step into the killing corridor. I hate this place, it reeks of blood, death, and futility no matter how deep the clean. Plus, it's always cold. I wish I wore thermal leggings under my sensible knit dress.

I reach the cube at the end, and as politely as possible, I knock on the door. "Excuse me, Mr. 076-2? I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but the higher ups would like me to talk to you. As I'm just a dumb as hell agent, I'll understand if you're not inclined. That being said, I do have to make the attempt." I pause, and realize just how dumb I sound. "I'm stepping away from the door now, sir." I take a few steps back, and wait.

I was just about to apologize again, and walk away in defeat when the door opened. And my impending doom stepped out. I assumed a defensive position, and awaited death.

"Mr. 076-2? They are sending me a new pigeon, and one not likely to get much older. Such a shame, as manners are lacking in modern generations." I could feel the anomaly sizing me up. "Just what is your age, young one?"

"26, hoping to see 27 in three months, sir."

"Those arrogant fools send children now. Tragic."

"I agree, sir... but I'm a mere cog in the machine. Nothing I can really do."

A few seconds of awkward silence. Then, the anomaly yanked me out of my cowering pose. "You are young, but with my help, you will survive longer than without. Your training begins now."

"Okay... going to warn you... I'm not great with fighting."

"Which is why I am training you." 076-2 handed me a sword. "You know what this is?"

"A sword, sir. And razor sharp."

"Good. You're already smarter than my last student. Now, try and stab me with it."

I grip the sword in both hands. "It's a bit heavy, Mr. 076-2. Got anything lighter?"

"Just try and attack me."

A few back and forth skirmishes, several small lacerations and bruises, some impromptu tips from my teacher, a LOT of profanity on my end, and one majorly embarrassing crying jag later, the anomaly helps me to my feet one more time.

"You learn quickly, little rabbit." I nod, too caught off guard and winded to say much. "You will come here two times a week, until your training is complete."

"Yes, Mr. 076-2."

"Until then, practice your footwork. You're doing well, for someone who claims they are no warrior. Little Rabbit, you are more a warrior than you think. You have earned the privilege of calling me Abel."

I gulp. "Th-thank you, Master Abel."

"Master?" 076-2 looks at me and sort of laughs. "I should warn you, I am a harsh master, if I am your master."

"Sorry, sir. Old habit from karate lessons long ago."

"Nevertheless, I appreciate your respect. You are dismissed. We will meet the day after tomorrow."

"Yes, Master." I bow, and am just about to leave when Abel spoke again.

"Oh, Agent? You're very sweet, and I do hope these swine do not manage to grind that out of you. I so rarely meet such a lovely young woman." I could feel myself growing red. "Be careful, and tell Dr. Bright if he gives you any trouble, as my student he'll have to deal with both of us."

"Thank you Master. But as a lowly field agent, I'm usually beneath Bright's notice. I will inform him, though, as instructed."

"Excellent. Until we meet again, Little Rabbit."

Task 1 complete, I set off for a hot shower, and possibly a new dress. If this keeps up, I may have to start buying all my clothes in bulk. At least my underwear isn't showing. Once in the privacy of my shower, I check my injuries. And wish I could just shut off my pain receptors.

Yeah... if I survive the training, I may be nigh unstoppable.

#scp 076 2 #scp foundation #scp fandom

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 1 year

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What are some things you think about a lot, more than most other things you think

I'm thinking about this right now, and it seems like the answer is "whether or not I am a good person." It's hard to put into words how much that bothers me. There are some people who seem to feel very confident in their own moral bona fides. But I just don't see myself as one of those people. Even though I know there are plenty of things I do well (both in terms of being nice and friendly toward other humans and also just in terms of general life competence) . . . there is always something that looks bad when you look at yourself. And even if you try really hard to fix your flaws, they keep coming back; so you have this sense of having been through cycles of self-improvement and then regression, over and over again, for years on end. At least it feels that way to me, but maybe others experience this less acutely? [EDIT: actually, after writing all this, I think there may be more than two options here -- either people genuinely feel good about themselves, which means they never notice all these flaws, or else they mostly notice them, but can somehow find ways to cope with them without getting too depressed.]

This sounds pathetic and whiny, but it's really true! Some of my friends have told me that I often come off as arrogant or conceited because I tend to talk about what I believe in strongly, and that makes it sound like I don't care what anyone else thinks. And while that's probably true, I feel terrible when people tell me this. Especially since my strongest opinions aren't on subjects where there's any real controversy anyway. They're usually about stuff no one cares about, or issues everyone agrees upon, or a weird mix of both. So it seems like my only excuse would be that I'm an idiot who doesn't realize he has nothing interesting to say, except that I do get some positive feedback from time to time, so I guess I must really be that big an idiot. Or I could try to become someone whose beliefs line up perfectly with the prevailing wisdom, thereby becoming uninterestingly conventional. Which would be bad enough, but worse still would be to have a reputation as a screwup among people who think conventionally. Not sure why I haven't done anything like that yet. Maybe I've tried, and failed, because I simply cannot stop talking about myself. That was probably what made college so torturous -- I spent most of my social interactions trying to figure out whether I had said something stupid or insulting, or if it was just that my conversational partners were awkward/unwilling to make conversation. I didn't want to ask them directly whether they disliked me or thought I was dumb, because I wanted to maintain plausible deniability. In hindsight, I wish I had asked straight out whether I seemed annoying or anything. Then again, I wouldn't trust anyone's answers to such questions, given the times I misread intentions and ended up saying something wrong.

Anyway, I should clarify that this isn't really a complaint post. Just an observation about a pattern that runs throughout my life. My natural state is to feel like a loser, and every once in a while this feeling becomes intense enough to cause pain and grief, but basically this is normalcy for me, in the same way that walking

#justalilguytryin

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romerona · 1 year

Text

Chapter 6: Dream Walking.

-In which the daughter of the Lord of Darkness who was born with the sole purpose of destroying the universe falls in love with Peter Parker.-

Masterlist.

-------------------------------------

"I'm not hungry."

Carina sighs, head falling back in annoyance as she stared back at Stephen Strange who holds an annoying look of his own. It was nighttime, dinner had just been served but Stephen wasn't there nor was he at lunch or breakfast or snack time.

She hadn't been the one to notice, Mordo did who told the Ancient One who told her to bring him some food, in others words to feed him.

Easy task, right? Just get Stephen to eat something... Wrong, after that afternoon a week ago she should have known better than to try and make him do something he doesn't feel like doing.

"Come on, Strange, you need to eat something," Carina said, waving the pasta plate in front of him. "It's good for your body, as a Doctor shouldn't you know that?"

Stephen scoffed. " I don't need a child to tell me what I—"

"You always seem to say 'child' as an insult.

"That's because it is."

"How can I be an insult when biologically I am a child, if anything you're the one acting childish."

"Oh, don't even." Stephen shakes his head, rolling his eyes. "I'm not hungry, I'm busy so you've got no business here, Goodbye."

"How about you take the tray and in exchange I give you a book I didn't tell you about," Carina tells him, nodding her head in the direction of her bag. "An important one."

Strange's eyes narrow. "What book?"

"Key of Solomon, I've been reading it so that's why I didn't give it to you but now I can but only if you agree to eat dinner."

"What is it to you if I eat or not?" Asked Stephen, eyeing Carina and then the plate of pasta.

"Nothing really." Carina shrugged, her hands starting to get sore from holding the tray. "But I've been entrusted with the task of giving you dinner."

"Well, you can just leave it here and leave."

"I take my responsibilities very seriously Stephen, if I go knowing you won't eat that'll be on my conscience and I won't be able to sleep."

Stephen leaned against the threshold, his eyes still narrowing towards her but there was a hint of amusement shining too. "That sounds like a you problem."

Something about that bothered Carina. How could he sound so nonchalant? How he could sound so disinterested yet arrogant?

"Such a doctor you must have been." Carina huffs, lips pinching in annoyance trying to contain an eye roll. "I'm telling you something that might be crucial to my health and all you do is say 'that's a you problem', is that what you said to all your patients In need of help?"

"Don't be so dramatic, nothing will happen to you if you lose a night of sleep." Strange rolled his eyes.

Carina's eyes narrowed with unfamiliar irritation. "I am not dramatic, I'm only trying to keep you healthy and my mind at ease."

"It seems as if you're the doctor here." Stephen scoffs, crossing his arms.

She hadn't realized her outburst, making her cheeks burn in embarrassment. "I might as well be, and a whole lot better than you it seems." She mumbled, her tone went soft yet contained its sharpness. "Now take the warm food, which, I may also remind you, that there are a lot of people out there with nothing to eat... and I'll give you the book."

"You're guilt-tripping me."

"I'm not." Carina defended herself, cheeks still reddening. "It's a bargain, you take the dinner and I give you the Key of Solomon."

There was a second of silence as Stephen stroke his beard considerably.

"It's not bad, I swear... I even brought you dessert." Carina said, trying to sway his decision, nodding her head in the direction of the ice cream. "Unless you prefer chocolate cake... I have a piece in my bag."

"Ice cream's fine, you little prat," Stephen said sarcastically, the amusement present in his tone as he pushed himself off the threshold. "Give me the food already."

Beaming, Carina passed him the tray of food. Stephen moved inside his room leaving the door open for her to see inside of it, and although she knows she shouldn't, her eyes wandered around the room, falling on the desk where Stephen must have been sitting before she knocked. The codex imperium was open and next to it was a tablet open on google translator.

"Having trouble with Sanskrit?" Asked Carina, shamelessly tilting her head to have a better look at what Strange was trying to translate.

Stephen glanced back at her then at his slightly chaotic table. "Google has helped enough."

"Well, I wouldn't trust google so much," Carina said and before she realized it, she stepped inside his room and grabbed a pencil, a random paper on his desks and sat down on the chair. "For starters, क्रॉनिका बोएमोरम means Chronica Boemorum, and not to mention डाइजेस्टा, कोडेक्स, संस्थाः च means The Digesta, the Codex, and the Institutions. It's all really just about the old Roman laws and stuff like that."

She looked back at Strange who was looking back at the paper, at the book and then at her. "You're telling me you also know Sanskrit and Nepali."

"I..." she sheepishly moved out of the chair. "I know a few languages."

Stephen crosses his arms. "Like what?"

"Uh... Cantonese, Nepali, English, and Italian little bit of Spanish but that comes with learning Italian, I guess." She recounted, holding her fingers up. "And Sanskrit."

"Impressive," Strange said, making her smile proudly. "You're a brat in different languages."

That smile dropped, as she huffs moving towards the door. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Wait wait," Stephen called her just as she was going to leave, forcing her to stop and look back at him. "We had a deal, didn't we?"

Carina nodded, eyes shining in realization, she turned and searched around the inside of her satchel, quickly finding the leathery cover book she needed.

"Aha, the Key of Solomon." Carina passed him the book. "Lovely book, kind of old... I mean it was written back in the 15th century but very informative and—"

"— Nice doing business with you, now have a good night."

With that Stephen closed the door, leaving her to stare at the wooden doors.

"असभ्य." She huffs, with an eye roll before yelling at his closed door. "Remember to eat... I'll know if you don't."

"I'm shaking in my boots," Stephen yelled back.

"I'll come by tomorrow."

"Please don't."

With another roll of eyes, Carina turned on her heel and made her way to her dormitory but before calling it a night, she decided to take a detour.

In the dim lights of the library, Carina walks surreptitiously through the shelves with a few books in hand, hoping Wong wouldn't hear her, if she was lucky he was probably in the other section of the library, down where masters go, listening to his cassettes.

"Hhm... where is it?" She whispers to herself.

Her eyes gazed over the spine of the books in the universe section, she had a book in mind she particularly wanted to read. It was about the creation of the cosmos and its derivatives.

She heard a student talking about it earlier in the day, and she thought it sounded interesting so she wanted to read it.

Apparently, it was about the multiverse, a different outlook on it.

Her eyes settle on a red leathery cover with the title, The unseen macrocosm in Sanskrit. That's the one but it was three shelves up, too high for her to grab.

Sighing, Carina place her books down at a nearby table and climb the first two shelves, she stretch to grab the book but just as her fingers graze the leathery cover the dreaded voice of Wong said. "And what are you doing here?"

Luck was not on her side.

Carina gasped, she almost lost her balance but quickly recover. She turns her head, with a guilty smile. "Is... not what it looks like."

Wong didn't seem impressed, he look at the book pile on the table, at the book she was trying to grab and then back at her, still unimpressed before taking the book she wanted off the shelf. "The unseen macrocosm."

"Wait, wait..." Carina hurriedly hops off the wooden shelve.

"I thought I told you, you couldn't take more books until you return the ones you've taken." He said, placing the book under his arm before walking out of the section.

"But Wong." Carina groaned as she followed him. "I lend that book to someone and he's not even started it yet."

"I didn't realize you were the new librarian." Wong huffs, his eyes narrowing as he turns to look at her. " Nor did I know it was your book to lend."

Carina groaned again. "He needed it, and I–"

"You." Wong interrupted her. "Should be in bed."

"It's only like 9:30."

"Sleep early to wake up early," Wong said, sitting on his wooden desk, setting the book down on a pile of books next to him.

"I wake up early enough." Carina sulks, slumping on a chair near Wong's desk. "Why would I want to wake up even earlier than that."

"The early bird catches the worm–."

"You know I don't eat meat."

"--And it's always good to make the most of the day." He said before placing his attention on the parchment on his desk. Seemingly something he had been doing before he caught her.

"I suppose." Carina suspires, her face resting on her hand silently agreeing with him, she did enjoy having enough time in a day to do all her chores and homework and still have free time for her hobbies, like drawing, painting or reading... "Hey Wong, can you please let me have just that one book?"

"No," Wong said, eyes not moving from the paper.

"Please." She pleads, pouting.

"No."

Carina huffs, leaning back on the chair before straightening up as an idea strikes her. "Not even for a piece of cake."

That made him look up and regard her. "What cake?"

"Chocolate." Carina grabbed her bag and pulled out the chocolate deliciousness that was wrapped in a tablecloth. "It was the last piece too."

Wong stayed silent, eyes on the cake.

"I promise I'll give this one back by Monday," Carina said, smiling at him innocently. "Please."

Nodding, Wong reluctantly agreed. "By Monday or I'll hunt you down, young lady."

"Thank you." Carina jumped from the chair smiling happily, she put the cake in Wong's hands before taking the book from the other bunch.

"See you later," Carina said before taking off to her dormitory.

⁺ 　　 ˚ . * 🌍 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚ . * 　　　 ✦ 🪐. 　⁺ 　 🌔. . 　　 ⁺ ⁺

Carina hardly ever dreamed but when she did they were odd.

She wouldn't dream of falling into nothingness, walking around naked or being chased by a monster, no, her dreams were weirder. Usually, she would be floating aimlessly in a sea of endless colours and bright stars, walking through a cold, freezing, dark place or just waking up in an odd city.

It always starts the same, she'll wake up with a start, her irises scanning her surroundings but never being able to recognize them, and this time wasn't any different.

The first thing Carina saw was a bright light at the end of an odd, rock tunnel and the first thing she felt was the solid ground beneath her.

She took a deep breath, debating if she should walk towards the light because regardless of what the common knowledge says about 'walking to the light' she didn't think it applied to this situation... at least she hoped not.

Taking deliberate steps, she held her hand up to shield her eyes from the light as she crossed through the cave.

The first thing she noticed when she finally reached the end of the cave was that it was fresh, she didn't feel hot or cold, the perfect weather.

Then, after blinking to accommodate her sight to the brightness, her eyes widened as she took in the place.

As far as her eyes could see, the grass that cover the place was a rich green, all around her were verdant meadows. It looked like a mountainous region, as there were many mountains, some with holes through them, making them look like funny shaped donuts.

As Carina was observing her surroundings in awe, she felt something soft brush her legs, jumping away from the sudden feeling, she swiftly looked down to find the cause of it.

The first thing Carina noticed was the lack of head and face, making her gasp once more, taking another step back scrutinizing it, the odd creature had also four shimmering wings and six feet.

It took a step towards her making her take another back, the creature halted, its body tilting slightly, seemingly confused about why she was backing away from it.

Admittedly, the creature didn't seem threatening at all, it was little, like a puppy with several feet and wings.

It took another step towards her, this time Carina didn't move, she stayed put to just watch what it would do.

It was a dream, right? Nothing can happen to her in a dream.

Carina stiffened when she saw the faceless creature's body tilting upwards as if looking at her, and she had a feeling it was indeed observing her somehow.

Its wings flapping up and down, probably in wonder.

Curious — although Carina would call it braveness— she bent down slowly, a hesitant hand moving to it, hoping it wouldn't scurry away in fright.

When it didn't, she hesitantly ran a hand over the feather on his back, they were unreasonably soft.

The creature chipped happily, gazing up at her, its wings fluttering faster than before in what Carina could only describe as joy. They seemed to be enjoying her pets.

The girl couldn't help but smile, loosening up, she finally knelt next to it, laughing softly when it jumped on her.

"Whoa." Carina laughed an arm behind her for support. "Hi... hello."

Carina grabbed the faceless creature and held it up, being careful with its wings, to look at it better. It was an animal, that much she knew, but there was not even one detail on its fur, just soft fluff and feathers covering it.

Carina hums. "Funny, what are you?"

The animal chirped again when abruptly it used its wings to wiggle out of her hold. It started to move deeper into the green valley.

"Wait..." Standing up, Carina followed it.

It reminds her of this book she read once, where a girl followed a rabbit down a hole.

She thought it was dumb of the girl to run after the rabbit, because who in their right mind would just follow a rabbit down a hole, alas the rabbit could talk but that was still stupid... yet here she was, running after a winged creature with six feet and no face. It was stupider than running after a bunny.

Carina chases after the creature, who from time to time looks back as if making sure she was still following.

Suddenly, something white caught her attention away from the creature, halting on her steps, a gasp left her mouth as her eyes landed on a strange animal.

It looked like a fox, with long white fur, pointed ears, relatively short legs, and a narrow snout but what made Carina's eyes widen in wonder was the fluffy tail, or rather tails, the odd fox had nine of them.

There were many of them, and all looked at her from the tall rock they were resting in. They were beautiful.

"Oh wow," Carina said in awe.

The familiar chirping made her look away from the nine-tail foxes and back at the faceless puppy, who did a turn before continuing moving, giving Carina the impression that it was telling her to move on.

Glancing one last time at the pretty foxes she moved to follow once again.

The winged puppy sped up, making her pick up her pace, after a few fast seconds she saw it again.

Carina couldn't help but laugh. The furry winged puppy brought her to meet its family. Many of the same creatures are all just laying around and doing nothing.

The one she knew, holds its wings up and chirps happily, the others mirror the action as if greeting him.

Carina kneel again when a few made their way to her in wonder, she imagined. It was amazing, she laughed as the creature's wings flopped up and down and others nussle against her, chirping happily.

They were all like puppies.

The first creature she knew was easy to pin out among the others, for one it was smaller like it was the youngest of them, a baby, and two because it hadn't left her side either.

Just as Carina was wondering what they feed on, the sound of something walking on the grass made her turn.

Looking away from the faceless creatures she saw a weird looking horse, she even doubts it was a horse. It looked like a horse-dragon hybrid, it had two antlers, long eyelashes, iridescent scales, a mane, a long tail, and whiskers that give the animal an odd moustache, its beautiful eyes locked on her amethyst ones.

It didn't frighten her and she wasn't all that shocked to see such an odd animal, not after the few she had seen. Something in the animal's eyes made her stand up and move towards it slowly, hoping it wouldn't run away.

It didn't, thankfully, it just stared at her, with nothing but peace in its eyes, inch by inch she held a hand up maintaining eye contact with it.

The scaly horse sniffed her fingers, making her giggle.

Finally, she placed the hand on the side of its face only for the odd horse to huff and move its face away from her hand. It didn't like to be petted on the head, but even annoyed, it didn't leave.

So, Carina tried again, she slowly held her hand up but this time she petted its shoulder from the side, it wasn't soft like the faceless puppies, it was like petting a dry fish.

The hybrid horse seemed to enjoy that as it made delighted noises, Carina eventually grew more confident and petted the back of its horns. She laughed when the head of the animal tilted in the direction of her hand, expecting more petting.

Her subconscious never ceases to amaze her.

"Come to me..."

Now, that kooky voice was sketchy. It came out of nowhere, making her hand drop from the hybrid antlers.

"Free me..."

What? Carina cocks her head, eyebrows scrunched together as she tries to make sense of where that voice came from.

Without realizing she started walking deeper into the green forest, leaving the animals behind, eyes moving around as the voice continues to call for her.

It wasn't one she recognized, but it was alluring.

Passing trees after trees she arrived at a village. There was a group of people, picking up vegetables and farming. She stayed back not wanting to be seen, but unfortunately, she was.

People stopped doing what they were doing looking at her in confusion and warily, Carina tried her best to smile but the muscles of her mouth didn't want to budge, let alone when a very intimidating massive lion-like animal started to growl at her.

"Oh...." She backed away.

Soon, another group of people arrived, they were holding weapons, sticks with glowing tips, bows pointing at her, odd-looking shields and yet another giant growling Lion.

They were speaking to her, but she couldn't understand the language, although it seems oddly familiar.

This dream was starting to get a little too realistic.

"I'm sorry, I can't—"

"Free me, child of darkness."

The voice made her tilt her head up, to look at the grey mountains behind the village, entirely contrasting the liveliness of the place.

If she squints her eyes, Carina can see the entrance of a cave, or at least she could be if said entrance wasn't covered up.

"Is it calling you?" Someone said, forcing Carina to snap her attention back at the people around her to find the one who spoke.

Her eyes settled on a woman who was observing her, carefully. "Yes, I- I don't... what is it?"

There was a moment of silence, she seems to be debating what to say when yet again the voice called;

"Free me..."

"It's telling me to free it," Carina said frowning, settling her eyes back on the mountain. "What's in there?"

"Not a what but a who." The woman said, moving forward to her with small, hesitant steps. "What's your name?"

"Carina Agamotto." She said, sending a polite smile, holding her hand to her chest and bowing slightly as she had been taught since little. "And you are?"

"My name is Ying Nan, and we are the keepers of the Dark Gate." She said, pointing with her hand in the direction of the source of the voice. "It's a prison for the Dweller- in Darkness and the Soul Eaters."

Carina frowned. "Oh, that sounds... awful, but why is it calling me?"

A man from the group of warriors was calling the woman, he seemed agitated and angry but Ying Nan told him something in return that made him shut up.

"I don't know, my question is where do you come from." Said the woman, taking another step. "And how did you get into Ta Lo?"

"What do you mean?" Frown Carina, confused. "This is my dream."

And then, the beautiful sight of the village, along with the people, started to blur, before it all turned black.

Her eyes opened, blinking herself awake, as the light flooded inside the small familiar room. Carina groaned as she knew it was time to start the day.

She ran a hand over her face before using her elbows to push herself up, there was a weight on her stomach making her look down. It was the book Wong let her have the night before.

Picking it up on the last page she was reading. "The known and unknown of the multiverse..."

She'll read it later.

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the-lincyclopedia · 2 years

Note

specific assumption from your fics: you're not the same person you were 5 or 10 years ago, and you took a while to get to that realization, so it's pretty important to you (sorry if I'm wildly off the mark 🙈)

Ooh, I like this! I feel like the voice of my thoughts has sounded the same for as long as I can remember, which sometimes makes it hard to realize how much I have changed, but I really am very different than I was when I was younger.

Ten years ago I was a wildly arrogant, overly driven, desperately miserable 16-year-old who'd already toured most of the Ivies and said I was "pursuing fluency" in Swedish and Spanish because "learning" didn't sound as serious as I felt like I was. I was hugely disdainful of anyone who couldn't keep up with me intellectually. I was in a relationship with a boy who I knew was a liar and whom I had seen hurt people physically for the hell of it. I was in fandom but had never shipped a queer couple in my life. I was just starting antidepressants.

Five years ago I was a marginally less arrogant, just barely less driven, slightly less miserable 21-year-old who was studying for the GRE and the LSAT because I couldn't decide what type of post-undergrad education I was going to pursue. I was thinking about getting engaged to my then-girlfriend. I was returning the fandom after almost a year of not writing at all. I was misdiagnosed bipolar, still not yet diagnosed with autism, and had a fundamentally misconstrued notion of how my brain worked.

I wasn't happy at either of those ages. I didn't believe in inherent human worth--I thought worth had to be earned, and my opinion of whether I had earned it varied by the day. I looked down on anyone I thought had earned it less than I had, anyone who seemed to be trying less hard, anyone whose vocabulary was smaller than mine, mostly because I thought I needed to be better than someone in order to be worth anything at all. It's been a long climb away from that worldview, and I wouldn't say I'm 100% cured of it, but I'm so much further from it than I was five or ten years ago.

I wouldn't say I'm not arrogant now, but it's definitely a smaller part of my personality. I'm still driven in certain ways, but I'm massively more relaxed than I ever was in school. And I'm not miserable anymore, not as a base state. I'm not in a romantic relationship. I'm deeper in fandom than I was when I was a student, and it's a good home for me. I'm deeply grateful for my autism diagnosis and a better understanding of my brain and myself.

That's probably way more of an answer than you were expecting, but yeah.

(If anybody else wants to tell me what impressions you have of me based on my fics, go ahead.)

#a lin original #ask game

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euphoricdr3ams · 7 days

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as trash as it is. its something very releasing to vent to the internet about my problems than to just write in journal where i basically just feels like I'm talking to myself...

I've been talking to myself so much in my head that i want basically need to share with the outside people. But thats a double edge sword because people are tired and exhausted and have their own shit going on. And if they do have the emotional capacity to deal with me. Its a slippery slope. Like how real can i really be with you. if i say this one thing will i make you upset about something you repressed too.

But I also can't be on a constant zoom call with my therapist either soooooo to the internet I come with all of my problems. :)

I think what im gonna do right now while under the influence is unpack at least one statement via written format that my friends have been screaming at me for months. that if it could just instantly process in my mind what would it be.

She said "I wish you understood that you deserve better than what you think. You are worthy. And i wish you appreciate yourself as much as i appreciate you"

I may have messed up that up but that was the gist of it. Sooooo that was really sweet and honestly lets just start here and maybe we'll come to a realization by the end of this post.

Its kinda telling my first reaction was how i feel like ive been slacking in the friend department and how i wanna just rush and be done with all of this so i can be the bright and bubbly person i knew myself to be.

"I wish you understood that you deserve better than what you think."

I kinda just at here and stared at this statement for about 3 mins. Well on first notice. When i try to repeat that to myself it sounds like nice and definitely some stuff i said to hundreds of people in my life. Permeant and passing guest in this story. But repeating that phrase back to myself just sounds phony.

Like what is so interesting about me that assumes i deserve better. Like at the end of the day, we're all humans so why should i live with this air of what i assume is arrogance that I am immune to the trails of this life and that I who has had such a leg up in this world. Deserve more than someone else who there's no competition has had it way worse. So to everyone else yes to me no. Honestly thats BS. I should give myself the same grace and space as i do everyone else but its like when i try to reach for the empathy string for myself its as if we've run out of thread.

Like if life was a game. Which it is. Then, how can someone who came in with at least plus 2 fuck up so bad. Like at this point. I would just be somewhat happy to finish. Cuz trying to make some sort of rebound or comeback from that sounds impossible so why even try to let that idea sink in your head. So at this point. Just finishing is a leg up. Cuz even that is alot. And its kinda like how dare you like waste the efforts of the people who helped you get to this point. Like its a long history. Your ancestors and the people in your life right now so how could you fuck up. Like you should have been really paying attention when people are sharing their stories. You would have saved yourself so much headache. soooooooooo why should i dream about better. I know im stuck in a toxic thinking trap with that last blurb but like this isn't no healed chronicles. We're basically starting from the beginning and maybe we'll reach some healed state by the end.

I guess since my thoughts are basically below the earth crust. It's hard to imagine better than where i'm at right now. I paused tbh. I let the same song loop twice before really type again. I think theres something below the earth crust and thats about how dark my thoughts are. XD

its not funny. but its also hilarious at the same time. Yea my perception of myself so down. I felt the most full as a person and as a human being when i had my ex. Like i felt like i was better and i could do better and that i was worthy. And its not like he was really all that. Honestly he was a piece of shit. If the two people i have on here actually made it down this far. They could write a 100 page paper on how trash he was and how he doesn't deserve anything good ever again. But that level of anger i cant find it there for him fullly. Most of that resent is back at me for not smacking the dog shit out of him and leaving. He even suggested i do it. and i couldn't. I really loved that man and the thought of doing that even after all that is so bad. I wouldn't forgive myself. I wanna be able to do that but its not there cuz i dont deserve it. ughhh. Like all i can really feel is sorrow that i couldn't be all that he needed and thinking i failed him.

Im really pathetic.

I'm kinda really happy that i'm so lit right now cuz i would be having a whole meltdown.

Like the thought is that, at least he wanted to stay for a while. Most ppl just take an immediately leave. They dont even ask so i should be grateful.

Honestly I think thats part of the reason Why i was so happy regardless of the situation. Also doesn't help I have this song on loop. It about the listener be happy to die right now because they already found their person so they've already peaked. Its like a love song out of desperation instead of confirmation that the other person feels the same.

if i would have died during that relationship i would have said i went out happy. This was how i felt before all the fuckery started. I was so happy with my love and just him that i could have been just happy. He never was. He wanted more as he sucked all of that in the moment happiness i had and turned it into just a depressing mess. Turned it into someone who has so much anxious energy its ridiculous.

Out of the 2323232323233232323232232323232 *many* people i have had sex with at least he wanted to be here :) for a bit until he basically just lied about everything and took off his facade. Then i was tossed out like the trash. its coool i find a way to recover. Even if i have to just :). My way out of this. It's worked a bit up to this point. Why would it not work now...... right? I'm fine. I have no choice but to be.

I was gonna finish this but I'mma need a minute. Maybe that was ambitious of me. I feel a bit panic-y and dizzy so imma just chill for now. Till next time i guess

#depressing shit #lonliness #diary #healing journey #self reflection

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the-firebird69 · 10 months

Text

I swear that you're more than half-assing it too Mac you're just sitting here having these people do this stuff and you don't realize what's happened. I'm willing to bet that you don't know the repercussions of 1/8 of what they're doing it's hard to explain it to you you're obtuse and don't touch my f****** stuff or I'll cut your fingers off for real don't tell me what to say I'll start having you same s*** just like it to these retards for almost all dead

He said here the whole time grilling me the same with the other idiot Max with every idiot that came by I don't know what you're looking for you haven't really gotten anything yeah you're running your plan that's what you're doing with the threats that's why it's obscured. This is Mars event there's a timed thing, celestial venue prepared for a long time for it doesn't look like you're going to win and you did it on purpose and you're trying to use it as bait for capturing your mine. 24 shores to gravel for power to force yours to grapple for power and in a real way. And you did plan for it to happen and you plan for the morlock to be failing and to go to their Island you planned most of what's happening now is why you're arrogant. And you ignore what I'm saying and doing most of the time and say that your program need to do it I'll say that you frustrated me and angered me so I figured your plan out and I put it in writing and it's not that hard to figure out the core of it's very simple and you lost the first round didn't even get up at all to look at it you getting so beat up by your vehicle.

You Max are keeping me in poverty so you going to be poor we're going to start working on that inform minority warlock don't have anything to do with it cuz I could see it before they got here it's a lot of pressure on them to call more

Zues Hera

I certainly see something you know about it you're going after me with kid gloves it's true too somebody's going after me to blow me up and it's probably Tommy f and I see these dangerous he has a dangerous Army he's also one of my stooges that I put in there for some reason is going directly after me he's been doing it for a long time and he's doing it to you you don't really appreciate it so what I say is he's more violent than I am but I can become more violent now I'm starting to see what you're saying you already know that that's why you're doing stuff. If he's the one who's going to get me then I don't care what you're doing is not true but I'm starting to wonder why he would want me to blow up in New Mexico and is the bomb project and I failed to tell him it was going to go off then happened to a lot of people and Trump is the one who ratted and it looked like Tony F was the one who was setting it off that's what our buddy here says so I've got a problem and the problem is Tommy f and his clones who were there and I was experimenting on and they don't appreciate it and I tried to hit him with a bomb and they say it and what he says is fall out from a bomb and say yeah it's also trying to hit us but with radiation and no that's not quite it there were a couple go rounds and most of them refuse to do the job and used Force on my man so I decided to blow them up and it failed it's not really true what you doing was experimenting on them and they want to blow you up because of that alone. It makes it sound worse but these people are intolerant as hell. You're making our friend here intolerant because there's so many things that he has to tolerate during the day I was surprised she can't really blame him cuz he's surrounded by idiots or dying off we have to control it you have to agree his sister and tolerates more than I would but inside is getting mad it says these people won't let me have a thing they won't let me go anywhere they won't let me eat correctly or s*** correctly or have a decent night sleep or be away from them for a millisecond they're all addicted what I'm saying is we have to use that and he says that they're just sitting here with their armies are lamenting and their people are dying and they don't do a damn thing and they run off with a huge power they get rid of them it's true too these people are stupid we're not taking advantage of it we have to get out from under them too we have to seal this place off so don't get here July 4th is coming up it's going to be a mess and I want to be our mess not theirs

Mac

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nanaminokanojo · 3 years

Text

[9:00 PM] Kamo Noritoshi

LOG 13 OF MY JUJUTSU KAISEN TIMESTAMP DRABBLES

CHARACTERS: Kamo Noritoshi X You | JJK Characters (mentions)

WORD COUNT: 1,112

GENRE: slight angst | fluff | implied race

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of violence | injuries | profanity

SPOILERS: n/a | a little bit of that blond Zenin guy *whispers* Naoya

collection masterlist

📸 photo/fanart credit to @fushigummy

You sat, assuming proper seiza*, on the tatami floor of Noritoshi’s private study at the Kamo Clan estate. Your hands balled into fists while you tried hard not to make a sound or show any kind of expression to give away just how much pain you were in. In an embarrassing concatenation, you ended up there, the left-arm side of your prescribed, dark blue kimono – a sort of uniform as one of the guards to the clan's heir – folded neatly under your arm, while your other hand held onto your hanjuban* to keep your chest modestly out of view.

Your current state of partial undress revealed severe bruising on your left shoulder, the irregular purple and red patches covering that quadrant of your back, extending downwards. It was a result of your reckless decision to go against the arrogant heir apparent to the Zenin clan who came for a visit, only to insult Noritoshi. The young man you served said nothing even as that blond, young master of the other clan said all those disrespectful things, mostly questioning Noritoshi’s legitimacy to hold the same position as he does for the Kamo clan. He had nerve mouthing off when there was talk about him not being fit for the role either.

You ended up losing, and if it weren't for the interference of both present clan heads, you would probably be dead. The malicious intent in that person's eyes as he regarded you as if you were a piece of insignificant trash was etched in your mind, making your blood boil with anger. It wasn't your place to go against the Zenin boy. It was imprudent because your course of action was not under a command but merely based on your whims. Still, your priority will always be to protect Noritoshi regardless of the circumstances, even at the cost of your life as, first and foremost, a servant to him and the clan, and secondly, as his friend.

"What have I told you about your temper?" Noritoshi said rather sternly.

You watched from the mirror on the wall as he knelt behind you, having insisted that he would tend to your injuries himself despite your protests. You hated it when he uses that tone of voice when speaking to you in private when he also insisted you act casually around each other when no one else is around.

"To not let it bring out the worst in me," you answered promptly albeit grudgingly. You didn't really want to speak while he fiddled with your injured back since it was harder to conceal your pain. Your voice came out wobbly at best as you spoke through gritted teeth, breaking into cold sweat. Even harder when you were trying to sound calm.

He sighed. "Are you angry?"

"Am I..." You let out a snagged breath as you chuckled without mirth, the sound coming out from your throat in a stifled gasp. Even that action made your whole body hurt.

You've had enough seeing how everyone seemed to be tormenting him just because his mother was a mistress. You've had enough of witnessing how lonely his existence was, crying for his mother when they sent her away when you were kids, the haughty bastards that they are. You had to see all those tears but you've also watched how hard he worked to become stronger. And you've most definitely had enough of seeing everyone act as if the sins of his father defined him when he was so much more than that. Hell, you were treated better then him until he was named heir to the clan, all because he inherited the clan's curse technique.

Finally snapping, you swatted at his hand, preparing to stand up, acting out of turn again. But he placed a hand on your injured shoulder, the pressure hardly there but you fell back on your knees, your upper extremities seizing. You glared at him from over your shoulder, eyes becoming hazy with tears but you blinked them back.

"Am I supposed to just watch while that person steps all over you?" you hissed. "All this time I've known you, all I could do was watch and wait for you to order me to actually do that. That's my job, but you're not letting me do it. Instead, you're protecting me. To answer your question, no. I'm not angry. I am fucking furious!"

"Y/N, language," he admonished. Damn it, he would be paying attention to propriety while you were lashing out like that. Only Kamo Noritoshi.

"Don't tell me to watch my language! Right now, I don't care if you're the heir to the clan leadership. I speak as your friend, and I'm telling you I won't just stand by idly. No more."

You didn't even realize you were already a crying mess until you felt his warm hands cup your face, kneeling before you, his thumbs wiping away your tears. Just then, he opened his eyes and broke into that rare smile. "So you have this side to you?" His tone was gentle and he regarded you the same way.

You winced, clutching at your shoulder and finding that it had already been wrapped up properly. You sniffled, calming down. "Thanks. You're not even supposed to be doing this for me." You sighed, quelling your fury. "I should be taking care of you."

"Stop saying that," he told you, fingers caressing your cheek as he drew nearer. "You've protected me enough, more than I can tell you. Don't undermine what you do for me because I don't know what I would have done without you by my side all these years."

Your eyes widened at his words, surprised that he thought that way. You never really thought you were doing much for him, but as if he read through you he said, "You've protected me all this time, now it's my turn to do it. I don't keep you by my side because I need you to watch my back." He reached for your hair, letting its silky length run across his palm.

"Then why?" you asked.

"Because you're mine..."

You didn't know if you heard right, but your heart stopped just the same when his words registered. "Huh?"

He smirked at you then and closed the distance between your faces, his hand gently pressing at the small of your back as he pulled you closer, his lips claiming yours in a sweet kiss that knocked the breath out of you.

When he pulled back, he touched his forehead to yours, breaking into a smirk as he said, "And I always want to keep an eye on what is mine."

-END-

TERMINOLOGIES:

*seiza (正座) – the proper/polite/formal sitting position in traditional Japan

*hanjuban (半襦袢) – traditional undergarment worn under the kimono, particularly for the upper extremities; it’s like a traditional undershirt which goes with another piece called susuyoke (裾除け) for the lower half of the body and together, the ensemble is called hadajuban (肌襦袢)

ハッピーバースデー @fushigummy!! This one's STILL for you.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

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jeojahari · 3 years

Text

02 | kiss it better | myg

🠒 summary: you're one of the lucky ones, everyone else tells you. finding your soulmate the day you turn 18 isn't something that happens to a lot of people... but you and your other half are going to have to make a lot of progress to be able to tolerate each other.

or, you and yoongi can feel everything the other feels, and you're hell bent on causing each other pain.

🠒 pairing: yoongi x reader

🠒 genre: angst, fluff, e2l!au, soulmates!au, college au, crack?

🠒 warnings: profanity, implied smut

🠒 word count: 2.6K

🠒 notes: omg tysm for all the love im literally about to start happy sobbing rn TT i hope you enjoy this chapter!! <3

btw if my writing is not up to par at any time pls let me know, i'd hate to give you low effort writing TT

part 02: two band-aids

(series m. list)

"I am so fucking stupid."

"I know."

"I can't believe I just ran out of there without saying anything!"

"Ah. I can."

"How is it Yoongi, though? I don't understand! How can two people who are so obviously different and have zero chance at getting along be paired like this?!"

"Hey," Jimin places a comforting hand on your shoulder, "maybe this is the universe trying to prove that you can find love where you least expect it!"

You shoot him the nastiest glare you can conjure up in the moment. "You sound like a children's fairy tale synopsis. Please shut up."

"No, but think about it!" Jimin sits upright, pulling the nearest pillow into his lap. "You don't like him, and he probably doesn't like you. You hate coffee, and he's practically in love with it. The only reason you guys ever interact is Taehyung, who you happen to be in love with."

"I'm not in love with him!"

"Sure," Jimin rolls his eyes. "Anyways, this is literally the perfect recipe for romance. I feel like I have front-row seats to the best enemies to lovers story ever."

"Don't make me hit you."

"It's true, though," Namjoon pipes up from beside you. You're sandwiched between both of them in an attempt to extinguish the growing dread in the pit of your stomach. "You don't really know what he's like, Y/N. People aren't always what they seem at first glance."

"I had more than just a glance," you snap. "And I know him for exactly what he is. A fucking sociopath."

"I mean, he's nice enough," Jimin explains. "I've spoken to him a few times in passing. Maybe he just wasn't having a good day when you talked to him?"

You pause and think, because your friends are right. It's plausible, isn't it? Not every grumpy person you meet goes out of their way to be antisocial... but you can't shake off that feeling you've harbored ever since you first met him.

"I don't like this," you whine, hiding your face under the blanket. "I don't like him. I don't want to be his soulmate."

Namjoon chuckles. "Soulmates aren't always lovers, Y/N. If he's actually a sociopath, or you genuinely despise him after giving him a chance, you're not obligated to love him."

"True," Jimin nods. "My parents were never soulmates, but you know how well they get along. They had me, after all," he adds as an afterthought. "They couldn't have done that without loving each other."

Namjoon winces. "Okay, no. Didn't need to hear that."

You let out a frustrated groan, kicking your legs under the sheets. "I hate this," you grumble. "And I can't even do anything ab — oh!" You sit up, suddenly enlightened and an imaginary lightbulb over your head. "I can!"

"You can what?" Jimin asks, clearly confused. In response, you simply beam at him before doing an impromptu somersault over his legs and tumbling right off the bed, landing on the ground with a loud thump.

"Y/N?!"

"She's insane!"

"She's gone mental!"

"Is she having a seizure?"

"Do we need an ambulance?!"

"Is she okay?"

"Joon, I'm too broke to pay for the ambulance!"

You throw them both off of you. "I'm right here, very much alive, and very sane, thanks."

"Well, what was that, then?" Jimin demands. "If you were trying to show off your gymnastics skills, it didn't work. You look like a clumsy baby koala."

You point at Namjoon. "He's the clumsy one. And no, I wasn't trying to show you my nonexistent gymnastics skills." A huge smile spreads across your face. "I just discovered a great way to release all my frustration."

"By falling off the bed?"

"No, but yes." You lean in like you're about to tell them a secret. "You know... I bet Min Yoongi is cursing the heavens right now, isn't he? For pairing him with someone like me."

Namjoon stares at you incredulously. "Don't tell me..."

"She's going to do it anyway," Jimin tells him, before turning to you. "You're just going to hurt yourself to hurt him, Y/N? Are you for real?"

"It's perfect!"

"It's stupid, and usually I would tell you to go for it if you were planning to kick some dumbass's butt, but not if you're getting hurt in the process."

"Well, I'm doing it anyway," you say. You're 100% decided; you've just found the one part of your bond with Yoongi that delights you the most, and with that comes your singular goal: irritating him to no end. "And this isn't even that bad, Jimin. Wait until I'm on my period. Then he's really going to wish he never knew me."

Actually, you're screwed.

"Ouch!" you hiss, your body jerking at the pain that courses through your arm. You're forced to stop writing mid-word, the dark blue ink a mess on your paper due to these constant interruptions of your sudden movements. "What the fuck?!"

The girl sitting across from you raises her eyebrows at you, half concerned for your sanity.

"Sorry," you whisper apologetically. "My soulmate's a jerk. Honestly, I probably caused this, but I don't regret it at all."

She laughs, eyes turning into small crescents. "Hate at first sight?"

"More like at first conversation." You sigh, letting the pen fall from your fingers. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get along with him, let alone love him. We have absolutely nothing in common, and I'm pretty sure this dislike is mutual. Which reminds me—"

You bang your knee against the table in retribution for Yoongi's attack on his own arm, a satisfied smile on your face.

"Wow." The girl stares at you, rather taken aback. "That's some serious beef you two have got."

"Yep. Can't stand him," you confirm. "What about you? Have you found yours yet?"

"Not yet," she says, trying to look indifferent — but you catch that wistful look in her eyes. "Someday soon, hopefully."

"You'll find them," you say, the exact words you've repeated to Jimin multiple times over the years. "Time is all it takes. I hope yours is less of a jerk than mine... and if they are, I'm more than happy to instruct you in the ways of torturing them."

"Noted," she smiles, before returning to her book.

You, though, can't focus. Actually, you haven't been able to concentrate on anything lately — ever since this trivial back and forth between you and Yoongi turned into something more desperate and warlike, it's all that's ever on your mind.

Sighing, you stand up, leaving your place at the table to go fetch a book from one of the many shelves lining the opposite wall of the library. It doesn't take you long to find what you're looking for, but you immediately stumble over and hit the ground, nearly knocking your head against the wood of the shelf.

"Fuck," you hear someone curse in the next aisle. You know that voice, you realize after a few seconds, immediately ducking your head around the corner in amused curiosity.

"What'd you do to yourself this time?"

Yoongi scowls at you from the ground, as irked as always. "None of your business."

"It kind of is, actually, now that I feel it too."

"Oh, really? Where was that concern when you were hurting yourself just to get back at me for doing absolutely nothing?"

"You did it back! You have no right to be telling me what I did was wrong if you decided to do it too!"

"Why the hell did you do it in the first place?"

"Shh!" The librarian walks past the two of you, giving you a sharp glare as she replaces a few books with the ones in her hands. You nod apologetically to her, head bowed.

"You're so loud," you whisper a few seconds later, just as Yoongi gets himself off the ground and has managed to gather the books he'd dropped.

"You literally started yelling first, Y/N."

A deep frown makes its way onto your face. "You know what? I still don't understand why you're like this. Can we not have a civil conversation for once? Every time I talk to you it turns into a goddamn argument!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if you'd just minded your own business, we wouldn't be having this argument!" Yoongi pauses for a breath. "You always make it an argument, Y/N, I don't go out of my way to pick a fight with you!"

"Isn't that what you're doing right now?"

"No! I just don't understand your problem with me! Look," he says, a little calmer, "I know you don't want to be my soulmate. And I'm not particularly in love with you either. But you can at least act like I'm human too, right? Or is that too much for your inflated pride?"

"Did you just call me arrogant?" you ask incredulously, trailing after him as he walks back to where he was sitting. "You think I'm doing this because I'm conceited?"

"N—"

"Well, for your information, I'm not. I just really dislike you."

Yoongi tongues his cheek in frustration, slamming his book down onto the table. "And for what?" he demands. "I like to know it if and when I fuck up, Y/N. Stop repeating the fact that you hate me and just tell me why."

You flinch at his harsh tone and the sensation that sends a painful twinge through your palm. "You're just... you're so hard to talk to," you accuse. "Like, really? How am I supposed to wrap my head around this whole thing when I can't have a conversation with you without feeling like shit?"

He's gaping at you now. "I'm making you feel like shit? And you're not doing the same by basically trash talking me to my face?"

"I'm not! I'm just telling the truth; and besides, you asked!"

"Who are you to go around judging the way people are? Not everyone is bubbly and cheery, you know? Being grumpy for a second doesn't mean being grumpy for a lifetime!"

"Well, I can't tell, can I? Not when you always act like you hate the rest of the human race!"

Yoongi doesn't reply to you, just staring back at you for a few moments. Instead, his jaw clenches as he turns away without any kind of rebuttal.

"Alright," he says gruffly. "I'll go first."

Your eyes widen slightly as your frustration dissipates. You'd only meant to check on him out of curiosity after his fall, you hadn't intended for it to escalate to this scale at all... "Wait—"

"Don't bother to talk to me next time," he interrupts you, a hint of bitterness to his voice. "Since I always make you feel like shit, anyways."

"No, I didn't m—"

Yoongi's gone before you can give him any miserable excuse from your side, bag slung over his shoulder and that cup of coffee in his right hand. You catch a glimpse of his fingers wrapped around the cup, two band-aids covering the knuckles of his smallest digits, and you can't help but wonder... did you do that to him? All those days you spent wrapping bandages around your legs and arms, was he doing the same?

But you hate him, right? No matter how closely bound you two are, you're allowed to do this, aren't you?

You don't know.

You recall the sight of his worn out expression and sigh, shaking your head. Whatever it is about Min Yoongi that draws the worst out of you, you'll never know. All you're sure of is that apparently you're supposed to love him, apparently you're supposed to be his and vice versa. But you just can't.

As you trudge back to your seat, you notice that the girl from earlier is still there, still taking diligent notes — except her eyes now follow you, a mixture of concern and curiosity.

"I'm fine," you state. The words come out far harsher than intended, but she doesn't seem to take offense.

"Really?" she asks instead. "S'great if you are, but if you're not then you're just lying to yourself, Y/N."

You blink at her, surprised. "Huh? How'd you know my name?"

"You guys were yelling," she explains. "I could hear him from over here."

"Aish. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She chews on her pencil for a second, seemingly contemplating something. "Mind if I give you my two cents?"

The girl's awfully blunt and gets right to the point, and it reminds you of your friends for a moment. Something about her just makes you want to trust her, to let her in.

So you shrug your shoulders and say, "Sure."

"Second chances only come once."

"Huh?"

She nods, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You don't really know anything about him," she says. "You don't know what's happened to him before. You could be his second chance, and he probably just took a blow after that whole debacle you two had over there."

"What?"

She chuckles softly, and you find yourself rethinking your stance on the situation. She's right, she's right, your heart tells you, but your brain is saying something else entirely, and it's maddening.

"Give him a chance, Y/N. Everyone deserves one."

Hours later, you're still thinking about what a random stranger said to you at the library earlier.

Yoongi? A chance? No, thank you. You don't need to waste any more of your time on guys that aren't going to give you the time of day once they're not interested.

And yet, a small part of your conscience says otherwise. He's not just any guy, it reminds you. You're soulmates for a reason.

You're so frustrated you want to tear your hair out. "Soulmates are stupid!"

Jimin walks into your room with two cans of soda, an eyebrow raised as he tosses one to you. "Yikes, Y/N. What's gotten into you today?"

"Min Yoongi," you grumble.

Your best friend gapes at you, nearly spilling his soda all over himself. "I'm sorry, what?"

"What?"

"Already, Y/N?!"

You're confused as you take a sip of the sweet drink. "Already what, Jimin?"

He's opening and closing his mouth, eyes so wide he looks like a clown out of those children's cartoons. "You and Yoongi — you guys — I can't believe you finally got laid!"

This prompts you to spit out the liquid in your mouth, dissolving into a coughing fit as you try and regain your breath.

"There, there," Jimin says, stroking your back gently. "I won't mention it again if you don't want me to, I'm sorry. Was he a bad lay?"

"A bad what? Jimin, I don't know what you think I'm doing, but having sex with him is most certainly not on my list," you frown.

Your best friend, on the other hand, looks totally dumbfounded.

"Huh? But you answered with his name!"

You smack the side of his head gently. "That's not how idioms work, dumbass."

"Okay, sheesh, sorry," he apologizes, rubbing his temple. "But really, though. Everything okay with Yoongi?"

"Not really," you say truthfully, "but it's fine. Neither of us are expecting anything from the other."

Jimin looks skeptical as he eyes you carefully. "You sure?"

"Mhm."

He tilts his head back, draining the can of soda as he swallows. "You know, Y/N, maybe you should give the guy a chance."

There it is again, that word. The one thing everyone tells you that you need to give.

But is it worth your time? Is he worth your time? Or is he just going to walk away and leave you broken again? Maybe you're being selfish, but you'd rather spare yourself the heartbreak process than willingly go into something you know won't be good for you.

"Yeah, okay," you lie through your teeth, soda can still nearly full in your hand. "Maybe I will."

taglist: @meiadore @kimnamjoonluvbot @im-gay-no-matter-who-i-date @fangirl125reader @helenazbmrskai @min-yus @janeelizabeth1216 @chimchiekookie @chimchoom @igotnotype @beach-bitch-bitch-beach

taglist is still open! send an ask if you'd like me to add you <3

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#yoongi #yoongi soulmate au #yoongi enemies to lovers #yoongi college au #bts #bts fanfiction #bts college au #bts soulmate au #bts enemies to lovers #fluff #angst #crack?? idk #yoongi series #part 2 #mine #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic

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sunkaashi · 3 years

Text

— OVERTIME

↬ Pairing. College!Atsumu x Manager!Reader

↬ Genre. Fluff. A hint of enemies to lovers if you look really closely.

↬ Warnings. Mentions of alcohol. I guess nothing else? Let me know if you think I'm wrong!

↬ Summary. Atsumu Miya is hopelessly in love with you, but how could he ever catch your attention if all you do is ignore him? Well, maybe his plan starts to work out when he finds out that whenever he stays longer for practice, you have to stay too.

↬ Word count. 1.7k

↬ tris' note: I wrote this in the spur of the moment, but I had so much fun! feedbacks are extremely appreciated! if you wanna be added to my general taglist, fill out this form.

anyways, did you know that only hot people reblog the works they like? NO? well, now you do ;) jk, but reblogs help me tons and I'm very grateful for them <3

Sweat dripped down the back of ATSUMU's neck as he jogged around the college tracks for the nth time that afternoon.

"Just one more lap." He kept telling himself over and over again as if repeating it would make it any less of a lie.

But who could blame him when this was the only moment of the day that he could spend with you? When he just knew that, by the end of that turn, you'd be there to receive him, water bottle and towel in hand? If anything, that just drove him more and more motivated to get to the finish line.

Those seconds in which your hands slightly brushed off against each other's; the way you laughed whenever he tripped over himself, too tired to carry on; the sarcastic sneer on your face every time you scolded him for wasting your time, but still wouldn't leave. To Atsumu, that was his reward, better than any shining trophy.

"Oi! Miya!" Your voice woke him up from his trance as the blonde boy finally shot up a glance at you. He rested with his hands on his knees, chest going up and down in strong and unsteady motions, legs still trembling a bit from the training. "We've been here for almost two hours! Everybody has left already, and I want to go home for God's sake!"

Atsumu snickered at the way your voice got higher with each word, deflecting from his gaze while you said you wanted to leave. He also didn't miss how you knitted your eyebrows together just before going off at him, carefully scanning his shaky body.

"Ya could've left, ya know? I never asked ya to stay!" He replied, smirking a little while making sure to stare right into your pupils.

If eyes are the windows to the soul, that must be the reason yours were so beautiful to him. As he tried to get an answer through them, he also delighted himself in such a vision. That's why he was quick to notice their slight tremble at his remark.

"And leave you to die?!" Your voice, once again, cut him off of his daydreams. "You've been running for more than an hour after a pretty rough practice, if you go into cardiac arrest who's gonna call an ambulance?! I'm the team manager, I don't want any deaths on my back!"

In his defense, he was only there because of you, but — obviously — he wouldn't tell you that. He decided to just laugh it off.

"Well, that's something you don't see every day!" He teased.

"What?!"

"Yer’ worried ‘bout me!" Atsumu said, trying to suppress the smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

Even though his tone was playful, he knew something was off when his words were left hanging in the air, no snarky comments added to the back-and-forth banter you were both so used to.

Seeing your widened eyes, he started to question if he was right or, worse, if he had crossed a line.

You gulped down as if this would prevent you from spilling something you shouldn't say. Atsumu was dying to know what it was.

This had become a little routine of yours. Staying for a couple more hours after practice as you helped him out for a while. At first, he knew you're just doing your job, after all, you were there to assist the boys, it didn't matter who they were. Still, he couldn't shake the thought that maybe, just maybe, something had changed as the months went by.

He remembered it perfectly. It wasn't that long before that you used to curse him for making you lose such precious time of your day. He knew you had your reasons! Staying overtime underneath the unforgiving sun, having to catch up on your studies while sitting beside the filthy running tracks, surrounded by sweaty and dirty athletes.

Even so, it wasn't pleasant for him either. Jogging for endless hours, the summer heat consuming him as if hell were just around the corner.

Usually, he would run only half of those miles. But how could he stop? How could he stop knowing that the minute he did, you'd have to go home, and he would only see you the next day? No, he needed more time to win you over. He needed those small talks in between his breaks. He needed every single one of the few glances you exchanged every time he ran past you. He needed to hear you giggling at his jokes at least once more.

What once felt like dragging insufferable after hours, began to seem like less and less time over the weeks. Those little details were what made it all worth it. They were his private entrance to heaven.

And he believed that you might've been starting to feel the same way too.

He'd caught the way your lips curled up into a shy smile the last time he'd offered to walk you home. He also had noticed how your irises shined a bit brighter whenever he bought you food, worried because he knew you'd be there with him for those extra periods. He'd seen the way you laughed at his childhood stories just a tad too hard, always asking for another one.

Atsumu had always been aware of how he comes off to people: the arrogant self-centered jock. He never really cared about any of those things, but he did care about how you perceived him. The man just hoped that soon enough, you'd learn he was more than what others wanted him to be. Not a pretentious athlete, albeit a normal guy as any other, just with an ambitious goal set to his mind. And whenever you shared one of those intimate moments, he thought that, perhaps, you were one of the few people that actually saw him for who he was.

Still, that didn't make it any easier to admit the feelings he'd developed for you.

"Oi! Are ya alright?" Atsumu said, trying to catch your attention, a delicate expression laying on his countenance. "I'm sorry if I overstepped in any way, ‘kay? It was a joke, I promise." You didn't answer him just yet.

"Hey!" He proceeded, lifting your chin up so you'd look at him. "Now I'm the one getting worried 'bout ya! Snap out of it and get back to hating on me before ya realize I might have a heart!" Atsumu mocked himself, but shied away from your glare while doing so.

At least he'd made you chuckle.

“I always knew you had one, Miya." You said, rolling your eyes at the man. “I just didn’t know it worked!”

“Oya! That was mean!”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” You asked, arching your brows.

“Well, maybe, but it wouldn’t hurt if ya were a little nicer to me once in a while!”

“Yeah? How so?” The words slipped past your lips without missing a beat, and Atsumu couldn’t help but wonder if the flirtatious undertone was something he had only imagined. He decided to take the bait.

“For starters...” Atsumu began, slowly making his way closer to where you were standing. “Ya could buy me a beer after we’re done here.” Was he crazy or did he really see your shoulders relaxing at his words?

“Oh, is that easy?” You responded in the same toying manner.

“Hold up!” He said, raising his hands to the air. “That’s just the first step!”

“And then what?”

“And then…” Atsumu continued, moving further towards your figure. “Then ya could let me hear that beautiful laugh of yers a few more times.” He completed, stealing a giggle out of you. “Just like that.”

“Great, so I’m halfway through it.” Your tone may have been monotonous, but your eyes told him otherwise. “Anything else or can we get this over with?”

“Maybe, while yer’ laughing, ya could finally realize that I’m not as bad as ya think I am.” He pondered, moving a loose strand of hair out of your features, clearing the view to your gaze.

“Now you wanna tell me what to think?” You scoffed, crossing your arms.

“Is just a suggestion! Take it as ya wish!” He winked at you.

“And what if I told you that I already did?”

“Ya did?” This time, he sounded soft, breaking out of the teasy character for a second.

“You’re not bad, Miya... Far from that.”

“Well, that’s a shock.”

“You don’t look surprised.” You stated, pointing out the crescent grin on his face.

“Too much wishful thinking made me ready for this moment.”

“And what exactly is this moment… Atsumu?” The way you said his name, in a hushed voice, almost like a secret meant to be shared by only the both of you, gave him the green light he needed to go on.

“It’s when I finally kiss ya.”

Atsumu was quick to grab your waist, pulling you closer to his chest, and finally closing the gap between you two. His gawk rapidly traveled from your mouth to your eyes, longing for a confirmation. It didn’t take a second after your subtle nod for him to merge your lips together, your body melting at his touch. His grasp was gentle, but firm, like you were something he treasured, something that he never wanted to let go of. And by the way you gripped onto his neck, the boy could tell he wasn’t alone in this.

Atsumu moved his palms all the way up your back, briefly running his fingers through your hair, but resting them upon finding your face. His tender touch cupped your cheeks in between his hands, pushing away just when he inevitably ran out of breath.

"Do I still have to buy you that beer or is this nice enough for you?" You said, unable to repress a smile.

“Hm, I’m not sure… Why don’t you kiss me again and we'll see?"

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nincompoopydoo · 3 years

Text

LOVE IS STRANGE

PAIRING: Poe Dameron x reader WORD COUNT: 1.9k SUMMARY: The union of Ireca and Mohash may seem a typical cliche of love in comparison to your depressingly lonely state, but when a certain poster boy pilot emerges during the celebration, you wonder if love works in other underlying ways. A/N: I found this in my google docs, first written about a year ago. so, wohoo i present to you my first ever poe dameron content, i think? he's so charming and carelessly beautiful. please leave a comment and tell me what you think or what else you'll like to see from me 💖 gif by @john-seed from this gifst WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol and getting drunk, space swearing. support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERLIST

Love is strange. Delicate yet fierce. So forceful that it manages to seep through the cracks created by bombs and gunfire of war. Unexpected at times, appearing out of nowhere. Yet, it’s beautiful because it brings those with beautiful hearts and minds together, entangled in the constant dance of intimacy and devotion.

It’s what Ireca and Mohash have.

Ireca was from the Logistic division, a mechanic herself and your colleague. She was to be married to her long-time lover, Mohash, a flight engineer for the Cobalt Squadron. As far as cliches go, wartime love falls along the lines of a romance cliche. Yet, war was all you’ve known. It’s what everyone has ever known. It’s common to develop some kind of a feeling other than the constant emotions during battle—fondness, the feeling of falling in love with someone. It’s truly what we stay alive for.

Maybe that’s why you hate it so much. The absence of the feeling that everyone describes as so fucking amazing that it completes you. You feel empty most of the time. It’s definitely the reason why you put all your effort into fixing things you can rather than complicated problems and issues that continue to reside in your mind, especially in the wake of midnight.

You find yourself sitting by the makeshift bar, tucked away from the crowd of friends and colleagues. There’s music playing, the sound of drums, and the seven-string hallikset reminds you of your brief visit to Naboo three cycles ago. You’re nursing a warm cup of something that tastes closer to acid water than alcohol.

Ireca emerges from the crowd with flowers in her braided hair. She approaches you with a bright smile and calls out your name wistfully. You shoot a strained smile her way, feeling the bags under your eyes weigh a little more. “What are you doing here all by yourself, huh?” she asks, leaning against the bar with a gentle pat on your shoulder.

“I’m just really tired. Last night was rough. Plus, I’m behind schedule.” you sighed heavily, running your fingers through your hair. She flashed you a smile of sympathy as you continued, “I’m sorry, Ireca. Don’t let me ruin your night. Go, have fun.”

She raises an eyebrow as you take another sip from your cup.

"Go. I'm sure you don't want to miss Mohash's special performance." You gesture to a drunk Mohash, who seemed to be searching for the woman. Ireca merely laughed. "Oh, it sure is going to be special." With a gentle touch to your back and wave, you watch her make her way into the swarm of bodies. You're left alone once again.

You’re still trying to figure out how Mohash even got hold of any sort of alcohol and managed to smuggle it into the base. Someone must have nicked it during one of the previous missions in the Mid Rim.

You rub your eyes, half-awake at this point; your cup is placed beside you as you rest your head against your folded arms on the table. Your mind is in a daze and incapable of irrational thought, deciding it would be best to just camp out here, by the makeshift bar, for the night. You were too tired to drag yourself all the way to your quarters, which felt like miles away, in the first place.

As sleep began to weigh heavy upon your eyelids, you suddenly felt a sharp tap on your shoulder. A soft groan escaped your lips as you shifted your head, still resting on your arms, just enough to peek at your sleep intruder.

It’s Poe Dameron. Commander and Black Leader. Incredibly talented, confident, and effortlessly handsome.

Ugh, you hate this guy.

Yet, you don’t feel so tired anymore.

“Are you drunk?” There’s amusement in his voice with a tinge of mockery. It made you realize the stun you were pulling. Classic Dameron. It was supposed to be a happy ceremony, but it was truly Ireca’s fault for manipulating you into coming tonight. Parties, events, and social gatherings were never right up your alley. You prefer spending time with machinery and your greasy hands.

Poe’s eyes are gleaming under the fluorescent lights, filled with concern, but you spot the smugness in his emerging smile. A flash of a thought, you kind of want to feel his lips on yours. The image immediately stings. You want to gag.

Poe is irritating, arrogant, and careless. Not charming. Nope, definitely not charming.

You straighten yourself, trying to shake off the burning image, shoving it to the back of your head. You lift your head, propping your elbow on the table and resting your chin on the heel of your hand. “You actually think I’ll even touch that bantha shit?”

Tearing your eyes away from Poe, you reach for your cup only to realize it was empty. He casts you a look. Your eyes shoot daggers with an extended pointer finger his way, “Don’t you dare say anything, flyboy.”

Poe raises his palms in defense, lips pursing. “Wasn’t going to.”

You catch a glimmer of mischief in his eyes, one hand discreetly reaching under his tawny leather jacket. Then, a bottle of Corellian whiskey emerges, shining under the lights of the Resistance hangar. Your face lights up at the recognition of the bottle, memories of your rare trips to Corellia, sharing whiskey drinks with your colleagues. It was the only planet you’d been to ever since you joined the Resistance.

You’ve only tasted Corellian whiskey once because of how expensive it is. You’ll happily get drunk to that in a heartbeat. Drink the worry and sorrow away with the lingering taste of frankly exorbitant whiskey.

Like a child with grabby hands, you reach for the bottle, but as your fingers brush his, Poe quickly lifts it to the air and away from you. He smacks your hand away. You whine, feeling a little lightheaded. The contents of the mysterious drink are starting to kick in.

What the blinkin' mradhe muck was in that drink?

“What do you want from me? It’s not like I have a drinking problem.”

He’s giving you that look like he’s judging you, but with a hint of amusement at the slight tug of the corner of his mouth. “You definitely have a drinking problem, but... i'll let you drink this on one condition.”

“For kriff’s sake,” you mutter, rolling your eyes, glancing away. “I’m not doing any weird wacky favors for you, Dameron.”

He scoffs, expression bewildered. “Hey, I don’t ask for weird wacky favors,” He articulates his words with a defensive tone, index finger stretched to your face. You simply smack it away as Poe clicks his tongue and continues to clarify his proposition. “All I’m asking is for you to fix my ship.”

Your wide-eyed gaze flies to him, shaking your head furiously. “Oh, no, no. No. Never in a million cycles. Never in a million millennials. Nuh-uh—”

“Hey, quit being dramatic. It’s a simple job.”

Your eyes grow even wider, voice raising. “A simple job? You fly that ship of yours like we have hundreds of spare ones. I’m not putting all my time and effort into fixing a lost cause.”

“But you haven’t even—”

“No. I’m not fixing your ship, and that’s final.”

Poe blinks and you’re back to fussing over your empty cup. The chatter of the crowd grows louder as a group of pilots of the Cobalt Squadron began rendering verses of an unknown traditional drinking song to your ears. You steal a look to only find Ireca and Mohash amidst a dance, tangled in each other's arms.

He eyes closely, noticing the turn of your lips, trained eyes deem melancholy. He knows the face of a loner very well—usually recruits with lost family and homes. They enlist in a mass community of freedom fighters for the restoration of good in the universe, and to finally feel a sense of familiarity and belonging. He doesn’t know much about you but he knows you don’t truly have anyone to depend on but yourself. It’s the reason why you’re constantly fierce.

Poe clears his throat, shifting closer to you as he watches the way you carry your gradual gaze to hold his. They then flit to the space between the two of you, raised eyebrows acknowledging the weird close proximity of his presence to yours.

“Look, you’re the best mechanic there ever was and probably ever will be. So, fix my ship, and you get to have this Corellian beauty. All of it.” He sways the bottle in the air, but you don’t look at it.

“You know, that’s bribery.”

“Yes, and it’s working.”

You scoff. “No, it isn’t.”

Poe laughs. “Yes, it is. I can see it in your eyes.”

Another scoff, you look fully aggravated. “How dense do you think I am?”

“Oh, very, but let’s not get into that.”

Bickering was the only language the two of you spoke fluently when you found yourselves tangled in a conversation with one another. Thrown insults were spoken lies—saying you hate each other when you know that isn’t true. Well, at least you don’t mean it and you hoped Poe didn’t either.

You’re exhausted, physically and mentally. For once, kindness and acceptance seem to be the easiest route.

A sigh passes your lips as you blink up to the ceiling, sending a silent prayer for blessings from the Maker above. “You’re right. I am dense. Truly dense. So, yeah. Okay. I’ll fix that stupid X-Wing of yours.”

Poe blinks, dumbfounded. “Wait, really?”

With a roll of your eyes, they meet his very own wide ones. “Yes, really. Only because you complimented me. Now, hand me that Corellian whiskey before I change my mind.”

He then makes a sound that resonates between a cough and a pleasantly surprised laugh, eyes crinkling with delight. Poe happily and absentmindedly passes the whiskey to you, still reacting like your agreement is some sort of object of ridicule in the best way possible.

“Wow—Maker, you have no idea what kind of trouble you’re saving me from. If the General ever found out—man, pfft. Thank you. Thank you so much—”

A swift and unexpected motion, he is reaching you, palms clasp and either side of your face, and plants a quick peck on the side of your left temple.

Poe isn’t thinking straight.

There you are, mid-swig, lips so close to the rim of the bottle with eyes so wide. You steal a steady glance at the pilot whose expression seems to reflect yours. His hands are still on your cheeks. He’s unbelievably close to you and he’s staring with that stupid look of his.

‘Maker, preserve me.’

A cheer erupts from the crowd from across the space and just like that, the moment is gone. Whatever the moment even was. His touch is no longer on yours and his gaze shifting away.

The tension, however, is still very present.

You finally take a swig of the whiskey, wanting to ease the sudden tightness in your chest. You hum at the stinging sensation on your tongue. You catch a glimpse of Poe from the corner of your eye who busies himself with tapping his fingers nervously against the surface of the bar.

Then, in an awkward motion, you stretch your arm to him, offering the drink.

A beat. His gaze shifts between you and your hand. When he finally gives in, a smile curves upon his lips, fingers brushing against yours. They’re delicate and you smile at him. It's small, but it makes his heart skip a beat and you wonder to yourself about the strangeness of love.

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron x you #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron oneshot #star wars

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diaco1968 · 3 years

Text

Altair x Reader

Warnings! Smut, lemon, unprotected, a bit of choking, bit of humiliation, sounds a little dub/non con in the end

Note: I just realized I've written nothing for my first and longest crush, none other than the arrogant grumpy assassin! Sorry for the slight ooc-ness, I get weird writing about him...

Also amazing art! It's thanks to this, I've been visually crushing over this man for the longest time! *^*

Artist

"Wanna blow off some steam, Assassin?"

He could still feel your hands all over him, the feeling of your touch;

Your fingers running up his abs, tracing his chest, running over his shoulders, nails lightly scraping the back of his neck before they carded through his hair finally coming to a rest in a tight demanding grip on the back of his head.

It was unlike whatever he was used to.

The girls in the garden. They just did what they were assigned to do. Though they were obedient and submissive, they didn't claw at him like they desired him.

It was unusual.

It was exhilarating.

It was wrong.

It had been one of the rare occasions where there was a brief pause in the conflict between the assassins and the templars. A moment of peace that kept you all from jumping at each other's throats while their mentors and your commanders talked out their differences for a mutually beneficial truce. And of course they both had the option of having their choice of bodyguards accompanying them.

That was how he first met you. In person and eye to eye. With a distance of less than a rooftop, even less than a swords lenght, apart.

He couldn't get it off his mind now.

You had heard of him, seen the havoc he had caused in your ranks without even being seen. And he had seen you before as you barked orders at your little pawns and cut through his less experienced brethren with no mercy.

Always from afar.

Maybe that was the reason you colided hard the moment those roles were gone and out of the way. Attracted by the differences like day and night.

So when you cornered him alone with that very suggestion you were met with little to no resistance as you grabbed his collar and crashed your lips onto his. You demanded and you took as you pleased, making him bend to your will and despite his arrogant self, he liked that. He liked being wanted. The way you had him on his back in moments, straddling him so full of confidence. You were quite a skilled rider too.

Had him wondering if he had finally met his match?

Now as he stalked in the shadows waiting for you to make a wrong move, he wanted to take back. He wanted you. He had spent weeks being distracted time and again by the memories of your little encounter, now that he was so close to you again he couldn't help but drown deeper and deeper in his inner conflict. Thess were slightly different times, what if you rejected him? It would be so embarrassing... and he couldn't just kill you off if you did, that would harm the truce...

He shook his head as he caught himself thinking nonsense again.

Stay your blade from the flesh of an innocent...

You were a templar though... did you count?-

He didn't have time to measure your innocence as your pawns left to do something you ordered them to and finally you were all alone. All his. Easy prey.

A hand wrapped around your arm, twisting it behind you as he pulled you into the alleyway and slammed you front first into the wall.

"You've become too dull."

"Have I really?"

That was when he noticed you didn't use your other hand to brace yourself on the wall. The little sharp pain in his side from the blade threateningly pressing into him was proof enough.

"You'd still die anyway. So, yes, you have."

He let go of your arm and you turned around to face him in the very little space provided by his arms caging you to the wall, teasingly grinding your ass back onto him. He of course suppressed the little hiss in response, not wanting to give you the satisfaction.

"You think I dismissed my men because I'm dull and not because I saw a certain assassin lurking around in the shadows?"

He narrowed his glinting golden eyes at you.

"You are bluffing."

You chuckled as you wiped at your scraped cheek to ease the stinging.

"What ever helps your ego."

You could see his scowl even from under the hood casting shadows over his face that complimented his features, as he loomed over you, completely silent. His sunkissed skin, sharp bones, haunting eyes, defined scar over his lips.

"You are in templar territory, what do you want, bird?"

His grimace at the nickname had you smirking triumphantly. Why did you have to know their language... it was annoying.

"Don't call me that!"

"But that's your name."

You looked smug and he didn't like that but you didn't have all day for the yarn of his ego to untangle on it's own. You reached up, slipping your hand inside the hood and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down to you so you could whisper in his ear.

"Or do you prefer, Eagle? Am I your poor little prey this time?"

He could feel the goosebumps rise over his arms as he growled in annoyance, your voice rolled over his skin smoothly.

"If you were, you wouldn't live long enough to mock me."

"Flattering."

Your smirk widened, nipping the side of his jaw and pushing him off a whole step before he could react.

"Come, boy."

"... tch..."

Clicking his tongue he wondered if this was all worth it any way as he watched your form striding down the alley, taking his time before he decided to follow you.

To an abandoned building, top floors almost burnt away, leading to a giant hole in the roof opening up to the skies. At the entrance you grabbed his hand cause he was hesitating to step in.

He would have preferred more hospitality... like your own quarters maybe...

He didn't have time to ponder as you pushed him back on one of the few surviving furniture, before straddling his lap.

... a long wooden bench... in a burnt building with cold stone wallls...

"We're in a church!-"

You were already half way through his robes, heavily dropping the weapon belt on the ground as you looked up at his anxious expression, scoffing.

"And? Are you a religious man, Assassin?"

He glared at you but you had a point. He just didn't expect such disrespect from you. Were you not fighting as part of Richard's army?...

"You're shameless."

"Shame is a weakness. You didn't seek me out beacuse I am a weakling now, did you?"

You plopped down on his now not dangerously armed crotch and his hands shot up to grab your hips and steady you.

"Who said I seeked you out? I was just in the area for a job."

"Ouch... you mean you killed off one of my men and came to add insult to the injury?"

He paused as you paused staring down at him. Well maybe he didn't choose his words right. He wasn't good at lying on the spot.

"That's hot."

At this point he had no idea if you meant the things you said or if you were being sarcastic. But he didnt care as you started grinding down over him.

Like last time.

Oh hell no.

He flipped you, so now you were lying on your back looking up at him surprised.

"Not this time. You are mine now."

"Oh? Fine then, show me what you've got."

You almost immediately regretted that as the pit in your stomach deepened not only from excitement but from fear as his fingers wrapped around your throat tightly, nudging your legs apart to settle between them. As you let him discard your clothes, it was probably the first time it downed on you. The danger you were in. He could actually kill you. And no one would know. Kill you and leave you there disgraced and dishonored with no one to know where to look for you.

You wheezed loudly, clutching the wrist of the hand he had wrapped around your neck, your train of thoughts derailed as he unceremoniously thrusted himself into you.

His fingers left your neck, to fist in your hair instead, arching your neck so he had more room as his lips met the delicate skin, his stubble scratching you pleasantly. You grabbed the back of his neck, pressing his face deeper into the crook of your neck and he didn't mind endulging you, sucking and nipping on the skin, combined with shallow slow thrusts had you arching and twisting under him, trying desperately to get more friction out of him. He gripped your hips tightly, pinning you down and restraining your movements.

"I said you'll be good and do as I tell you to."

"That is not what you said."

"Don't test me, (y/n)."

He growled in your ear, his voice rumbling from deep in his chest and you were not about to argue with that as you hummed in response and decided to oblige.

He briefly pulled out of you, only to pull you up and dropping you on your knees on the stoney ground. With a hand on the back of your neck he had you face down, arse up and he plunged himself back into you groaning at the way you twitched around him eagerly with a loud wanton moan.

His other hand grabbed your hip to keep you from jerking forward while he drilled into you, completely different from his earlier pace.

"This is what you want after all. To be fucked like a little bitch with an important audience."

Between your moans and scratching at the ground in pleasure mixed with pain you didnt have time to wonder who, until he grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled you back against him so you were facing the old crushed cross behind the altar.

"...you fucking basta-geh!"

He shoved his fingers into your mouth, down your throat, deep enough to make you choke and gag around them.

"I'd watch my mouth, if I were you."

He resumed kissing your abused neck, fingers thrusting in your mouth, creating lewd wet noises and heavy moans.

You were close, he could tell. You were constricting around him so tight he almost released a few times if not for the way you bit his fingers angrily. But he wanted you to finish first. Wanted you to whimper and beg as you just couldn't anymore.

He sunk his teeth in your shoulder and that was it for you. A high pitched mewl and you were clamping down on him violently as your release shook you to your core, slumping over him as he slowed down ever so slightly.

Then he let you drop on your front and resumed his brutal pace, seeking his own release now, disregarding your half hearted protesting sobs.

It didn't take him long and he finished over your ass, panting heavily as he watched your shaky body, get used to the abuse way too quickly as you rolled over underneath him to shoot him a glare.

Awkward silence engulfed you both as he got on his feet and even helped you up with a hand and you both started fixing up your clothes and putting your weapons back in place.

This was not how it ended last time. The silenece made him wonder if he did something very wrong. If your little forbidden rendezvous had come to an end because of him. If it had, it was probably for the best but... he felt a pang of sadness thinking about it. Oh how he wished for you to open your smug mouth and say something. Anything.

"I think we can both agree, I am better off in charge."

"You wish, Templar."

"...well... yes, I do. That's the whole reason behind our ancient conflict, Assassin."

#altair x reader #altair x reader smut #altair x reader lemon #assassins creed #altair ibn la'ahad #assassins creed imagines

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