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savingcrxws · 10 months

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EYES ON FIRE | maybe someday

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synopsis. you and carmen just keep bumping into each other.

word count. 4.3k (gah damn)

warnings. language, hardly proofread again i'm sorry its an addiction

authors note. thank u guys so much for the support in these previous chapters! it’s really amazing to me that u guys enjoyed it so much! i would recommend listening to maybe someday by the cure for this chapter!

“Yeah, Sugar. The appointment is booked for Thursday, the reps will probably be coming in at like…three o’clock,” you mutter, flipping through the manila folder absolutely stuffed with documents and sticky notes.

You pursue your lips at all you had to get done within this week alone–sign installation permit, permit to replace the hot water heater, permit to fix the ventilation systems, reapply for occupancy capacity signs because of the restaurants lack of other permits, and holy shit…

You completely forgot to schedule the follow-up appointment with the BACP consultant.

You groan, slamming the thick folder into your forehead, the papers thwacking against your skull. Natalie sounds startled on the other end of the phone, no doubt hearing the sound on her end of the call. She questions if you’re okay, and you only respond with a gentle hum before tossing the folder back down on the office table.

“Hey, Suge, do you think I can call you back later? I need to schedule a follow-up consultation with Raquel before another rep hops on my ass about the boiler replacement.”

“Of course, hun, call me back whenever you can,” Sugar starts and you can hear some papers flicking in her side of the call as well.

You had managed to convince her to work from home more often, worried that all the stress from the demolition inside would affect her pregnancy and her overall wellbeing. After some back and forth, she had begrudgingly agreed to spend two days working on the project from the comfort of her own couch.

And even though she complains still, you know she appreciates she has a little bit more time off of her feet.

“Don’t work yourself too hard, okay, Bug?”

You nod, even though you know she can’t see you. “Same for you, Bear.” Sugar hums once again before you both give your goodbyes and end the call.

You expel all of the air out of your chest in a large puff as you slide down the office chair.

After signing onto Team Bear, your new home-away-from-home had been this tiny office in the back of the restaurant. For the most part, no one came in and disrupted your work, which allowed you to have your head shoved into piles of paperwork, be stuck on phone calls, and be forced to reread legal jargon for hours on end with little interruption.

Well, as little interruption as there could be with the restaurant quite literally falling apart around you.

Thankfully, everyone was very respectful of your work in helping the developing business. You were practically putting every ounce of knowledge that you learned from both college and the real-world experience (including connections within the industry) to help push the restaurant closer to the deadline. All the while still dealing with your other commitments to other businesses that you had prior to signing on to this project.

Staying at The Bear for eight hours a day had its benefits, though.

For example, there was always something entertaining going on in the background. Like last Tuesday, when Fak had decided to send a sledgehammer directly into the only remaining wall of the office–sending bits and pieces of drywall onto your clothes.

Another benefit of being stuck in that office chair is that you had an excuse to ignore everyone around you. And by everyone, you really mean Carmen.

After the awkward office run-in last week, the two of you hardly spoke to each other. Sure, there was the ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ that you threw to each other and the words you exchanged when you caught him up on the status of licensing, but you two had yet to have an actual conversation.

It was clear that the both of you were still walking on eggshells around each other—and everyone could see it. But you had an inkling feeling that Carmen had been wanting to say something, judging by the short glances you sometimes catch him throwing in your direction.

Kinda similar to the one that he’s giving you right now.

You feel the heat of his stare on your face before you see it. He’d been staring at you for a couple moments now, long enough for you to no longer consider it an inquisitive glance.

You peek up from the folder and make solid eye contact with Carmen through the hole in the wall. The man flushes almost immediately, the red color sinking past his collar. You purse your lips and give a small nod of acknowledgment and he stutters in his spot.

And then he’s turning away.

Like he wasn’t the one just staring at you a moment ago.

You roll your eyes and turn back to your original position in the seat. Picking the folder up again, you flick to the papers listing the requirements for the next fire suppression test.

“Men,” you mutter, before picking up your phone and making a phone call.

Three days later, the office is completely demolished and your work revolving around The Bear has been moved to a family-owned coffee shop two blocks over.

In the short span of time, all of the walls in the store had been busted down and the restaurant had practically turned into a hazardous wasteland. And since construction was too far out of your pay grade, you decided to leave the heavy lifting up to everyone else.

“Alright, permit done!” You throw your hands up in the air, your theatrics catching the attention of a couple next to you. You could hardly care for the stares, though, you had been working on getting that permit for the past four days straight. Slamming your laptop shut, you pack up your bags and head off to the cash register to buy another coffee before you go.

While you wait for your drink, you decide to scroll aimlessly through your phone to kill some time.

“Oh shit,” you hear a voice utter behind you, and you barely have time to process the word before something ice cold is running down your back. “Fuck, I’m fucking sorry, I didn’t even see you—“

You gasp on reflex, taking a step forward and shivering. The person who spilled their drink on you is stuttering out apologies. The liquid seeps into the jacket you were wearing and you pull it off immediately.

“Yo, what the fuck, dude,” you curse, watching the large stain of coffee spread even farther across your jacket. “Watch where the hell you’re walking—”

In the middle of trying to give the perpetrator a piece of your mind, you failed to recognize the familiar sound of the voice that was spewing apology out of apology. But in a second, your eyes met a recognizable set of blue and you halted your words.

In front of you stands Carmen Berzatto. In his signature colored sweater and a half-spilled cup of coffee in his hand.

And he looks petrified.

It seems he didn’t realize just who was the unlucky victim to his americano attack either until you turned around. His mouth agape, he utters out a jumbled apology, glancing back at you, your stained jacket, and the cup in his hand like his brain was still trying to understand what just happened.

“Uh-uh, fuck, sorry, I swear this wasn’t on purpose,” he rambles, placing his cup on the counter behind you and grabbing some napkins right after. He steps back towards you and shoves his hand of napkins to you. “Here, shit, I’m so sorry.”

You sigh, taking the napkins from him, noting the slight tremor that persisted in his hands as you did so. Taking in a slow breath, you close your eyes and count to ten before responding. “It’s okay, Carmen. Don’t worry about it.”

And even though you tried to maintain your peace, you can hear the annoyance seeping out of your words. Carmen glances around the counter before looking back at you and your soaked jacket. You know he probably wants to apologize some more, but honestly, one more apology might land him with a punch to the gut.

Just as he opens his mouth, you raise your free hand, silencing him immediately. You shake your head in dismissal before taking the napkins offered to you and blotting the coffee out of the fabric of your jacket. Carmen simply stood in his place, watching you, seeing if he could do anything to redeem himself in this situation.

However, after they called your name for your drink order, you dumped the used napkins in the trash, took your drink and hightailed it out of the café without one more word to the man.

After the coffee shop incident, you swear that you started to see Carmen everywhere.

You needed a quiet place to plan outside of your house so you went to one of the local libraries. Guess who’s walking outside the building?

You need a late night snack and decide to hit up the corner store. Guess who’s in the refrigerated section?

Hell, you decide to stay late at The Bear for some last minute checkups? Guess who forgot to grab a few things before leaving that night?

You swear that before you hopped on The Bear train, you never even saw a glimpse of the man. Sure, you lived relatively near the restaurant, but Chicago is fucking huge, there’s no way you would run into one of the few people that you’re trying to avoid.

Absolutely not, apparently.

Finally finishing up the weekly budget report and estimate for the following weeks till open, you decide to take a step away from work for a second and give your brain some time to breath.

“Hey, Syd, if anyone needs me, I’m outside taking a smoke break, ‘kay,” you yell across the restaurant, receiving a thumbs up from her from the other side of the room. “Be back in 15!”

Reaching into your bag, you pull out a pack of cigs and a lighter before heading to the back entrance of the restaurant. You place the cigarette between your lips and head to the backdoor. Stepping out and around the alley to the designated smoke corner, you fiddle with the lighter switch, hearing the light sizzle but seeing no flames emerge.

You groan, flicking the lighter again and again and still no lig–

“Umm, uh, you need a light?”

You scream, your heart almost skipping a beat and falling out on the concrete below you. In your alarm, both your cigarette and the lighter drop on to the ground. "Shit," you mutter and throw a glance over at whoever had scared the living shit out of you and, surprise suprise . . .

There was Carmen, standing in the alley a few feet away from the door. One leg was kicked up to rest his foot against the wall behind him and a cigarette hung loosely between his fingers. His eyes trailed across you for a second, then he glanced at the cigarette on the ground before taking another draw from his own and staring out the wall in front of him.

If you had half of the energy, you would tell him off for scaring the shit out of you and book it out of the enclosed space.

Lucky for Carmen, however, you really needed that cigarette.

Reaching back into your bag once more, you pull out another cig and walk slowly over to the man. Your steps gain his attention once again and when your eyes met you gestured to the lighter hanging out of his cooking apron.

He grabs the lighter and hands it to you. As you reach out to grab it, your fingers brush against his knuckles. Some quick thought in the back of your head wishes that that physical interaction lasted a little longer, but you're quick to shoo that away into the deep recesses of your mind.

Lighting your cigarette, you hand the lighter back to him before taking a drag. Blowing the smoke out, you slid down the wall until you could lean back into a squat against it.

The two of you just stand there, in complete silence aside from the occasional cough from an improper pull. This quiet isn't nearly as awkward as the first run-in the two of you had. Maybe it's because of the nicotine or maybe it's because continuously running into Carmen over these past days had subconsciously made you a little more comfortable with his presence.

. . .

Nah, it definitely had to be the nicotine.

You glance up at Carmen, who continues to smoke even though his stick had turned into a bud a while ago. You make note of the new tattoos that run down his arms and hands, eyes stopping at the rose flower tattoo on his left hand.

You remember when he got that one done with you at the parlor for his eighteenth birthday.

Subconsciously, you rub at the matching rose on your thigh before sighing and focusing back on your cigarette. Young, dumb decisions, you think.

Above you, Carmen watches your focus retreat back and purses his lips. In all honesty, Carmen usually never finishes a whole cigarette, but he really needed an excuse to stay out here longer with you.

These past couple of days had been tormenting him just as much as it had been you, albeit for different reasons. Everytime Carmen ran into you, whether it be in that cafe or that random grocery store that one early morning, he was plagued with memories of everything that he had fucked up.

Not just the relationship that he had fucked, but the happiness that he had stolen from the both of you.

And he had so desperately been trying to apologize, but every time you saw his face, you would get that look on your own. That dread, the anxiousness, that annoyance. That anger.

Whenever he saw that expression on your face, he would get too choked up to say anything of significance. A simple 'hey" would be all that would leave his mouth. Either that or he would stutter like he was a fucking kid again and embarrass himself in front of you like he seems to be doing constantly lately.

Carmen sighs, taking a final hit from his cigarette before stomping it out on the ground. By all previous experience, Carmen would book it out of the area by now, but something in his gut was telling him to stay this time.

Glancing down at you once more, he sees that you have taken to scrolling through your phone to kill the time. He bites the corner of his lip and decides to sit against the wall like you.

Instinctively, you toss him a questioning glance but when he didn't make any move to speak or gesture towards you, you shook your head and went back to whatever video had popped up on your feed.

Fuck it, he thought.

"I'm sorry."

You halt in the middle of your smoke, nearly coughing on the fumes but managing to swallow it. You look over at Carmen inquisitively, wondering where the hell that apology came from. The dirty blonde was wringing his hands, mouth opening and shutting as if he was trying to get the words out.

"Sorry for the, uh," he mutters, casting a quick glance in your direction to assure himself that you were listening. "Sorry for the, for uh-You know I didn't-I don't know how-"

"Yo, Carmen," you interrupt the world vomit that he was spewing, tossing your cigarette down before snuffing out the light with your shoe. You center your focus back on the man next to you, who seemed to only have you in his attention. "Just say what you want to say. No bullshit."

Your blunt words seem to ground Carmen long enough for him to gather his thoughts. He nods his head rapidly in that way he does when he's clearly overwhelmed before he clears his throat. He takes in a large inhale and clears his throat, ready to speak again.

"I want to apologize. For everything. For how much of an jackoff I was back then, and for how much I am right now," Carmen stars, eyes staring solidly into yours to show just how serious he is. "I didn't deserve you, and you did nothing to deserve the way that we ended."

You feel something burn the back of your throat at the mention of the end of your relationship. The total radio silence from him for the days prior, and just when you had managed to gather the courage to ask the question of just what the hell are we doing, Carmy, you were cast aside like nothing.

He was right, you didn’t deserve that.

Pushing back the feelings bubbling up in your chest, you nod your head to signal that you were listening.

"I-I, it's no excuse, but I was really going through some serious shit. And I really felt that if I cut everyone out of my life, I could actually get a second to breathe you know," Carmen pauses and you open your mouth to speak, but he continues. "I-I just know you deserved-you deserve better. But seeing you in this restaurant day-in and day-out, working away to help my sister, my crew--help me? I just felt even more like a piece of shit."

He turns fully towards you now and you can see his eyes turning red from the emotion he was clearly holding behind his words. "You didn't deserve what I did, and you definitely don't deserve to be cleaning up my messes now."

"You deserved the world, and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you."

His last words send a sharp pang into your chest. Here you two sat, sitting next to each other, the distance between you two seemed to be filled with words unsaid. You stare into his eyes a little longer, at a loss for what to say completely.

On one hand, you wanted to reject his apology, tell him to fuck off and leave him alone in this alleyway. He would deserve it after everything.

But he has that familiar kicked puppy-dog look in his eyes and he's chewed his lip red, and he's actually sorry.

You sigh, leaning your head back to rest against the wall behind you. Staring up at the sky, you trace the shapes of the clouds above as you collect your thoughts.

"Yeah," you start, nodding your head to yourself. Carmen tenses up at the ambiguity behind both your words and your tone. He would have to have his own head shoved up his ass if he didn't realize that you had every right to refuse his plea for forgiveness. Frankly, that's exactly what he was expecting you to do.

"Yeah, okay. I can forgive you, Berzatto."

Carmen's heart sinks into his guts, mouth slightly agape in pure shock. "You-you can?"

You give a small smile, turning your head to face the man. "Yeah, Carmen, I accept your apology."

The dirty blonde opens his mouth again but you put a hand up in the space between you, effectively shutting him up for a second.

"But," you trail, "I'm gonna forward you that dry cleaning bill from that cafe, asshat. I've been trying to get that shit out for days now."

Carmen flushes a bright red at the mention of the coffee shop run-in you two had, a broken chuckle leaving his mouth at the obvious teasing tone in your voice. You were joking with him, for the first time in years, you two had managed to glimpse at the level of comfortability that you once shared.

Carmen chuckles again, running a hand through his curls. "Yeah, well, can I raincheck that until after the restaurant starts making money? I'm kinda flat fucking broke right now."

You giggle at the honesty behind his words. "Yeah, I ran those calculations by the way. Have fun being flat broke for at least three months after The Bear opens."

"Shit," Carmen mutters, a grin still on his face.

"Yeah, shit." You nod in his direction before pushing yourself off your crouched position on the ground. "Anyway, I'm gonna head inside to get back on that shit. Fak's fucking electric guy keeps flaking on us."

Carmen's eyes follow your form as you stand, holding eye contact with you when you glance back down at him. "Yeah, yeah, I should probably meet up with Syd for the chaos menu anyway."

He hurriedly stands up, wiping his hands on his work pants. After he finishes, he looks at you once again, noting the small smile on your face. For a second, he swears his heart skips a beat.

"For the record, Carmy," you play with the nickname on your tongue, having not said it in quite some time. Carmen flushes before nodding for you to continue. The small on your face falls for a second as you look at him. "You pull that shit with me again, I'm sicking the dogs on your ass. Seriously."

Carmen clears his throat, straightening up at the more serious tone of your voice. Although you were not nearly as angry looking at him as before, he knew that you were serious. There were no more apologies after this, no more fuckups.

You look at him expectantly, waiting for some form of acknowledgment.

He nods. "Yes, chef."

After the conversation outside The Bear, you and Carmen seemed to flow together much easier than before. Granted there was the occasional stray glance casted in your direction from the man, but overall, the two of you were on much more agreeable terms.

The rest of the crew seemed to notice the absence of uncertain tension between the two of you. You explained to Tina, Richie, and Sugar that you two had simply talked it out and were no longer on "spiteful ex" terms.

Richie, being the annoying man that he is, insisted that something else must've happened--to which you responded with a firm shoulder check and yet another middle finger.

Overall, the two of you seemed to only talk about business stuff, which made it easier for conversations to flow. Less personal, more concrete talks.

"Alright, Carmy, we got that certificate of occupancy, right?" You question, running down the legal checklist once again. When you heard no response, you asked again, only to be ignored again. Finally looking up from your screen, you glance up at the man, trying to figure out what could have possibly distracted him this time.

He's glancing, moreso glaring, down at his phone, watching it ring but making no moves to pick it up. He's spaced out almost, like he's lost in his thoughts.

You clear your throat and decide to try his name again. "Carmen!"

He shoots up a little and looks at you, muttering an apology out as he clicks his phone off and slides it into his back pocket. "What were you asking?"

"Umm, I was trying to see if you got that certificate of occupancy from Cicero mailed in," you raise an eyebrow at him. "You know, the one we need to get that other big, shiny certificate that shows that we can legal conduct business in the state of Illinois? That certificate?"

"Uhh, yeah, yeah. Mailed it in the other day, yeah."

You squint at his weird responses before shaking your head and diving back into your work. "Well, on another note, I've been speaking with a liason down at the office and he said we can have our second fire suppression test in two weeks instead of the project four."

Carmen walks up to the foldable chair you were sitting in, peering over your shoulder to look at your screen. He rests his hand against the back of your chair unconsciously and you can feel the heat of his body radiating off of him. You clear your throat and lean forward a little to get some distance between the two of you.

"Who's that going to?" The man points to an email that you are in the middle of drafting. Your eyes follow and land on the email you were writing to one of your school buddies. "Oh that? I'm just messaging one of my old classmates from college about an idea I had about our issues with that retail food license thing."

Carmen humms, peeking down at you as you explained the process you were thinking of going through. Though your eyes were stuck on the screen, clicking through different documents as you continued your explanation, Carmen's eyes were glued to your face.

To him, this all felt like some weird dream that he was having. His former high school sweetheart, sitting in his restaurant, talking all kinds of smart talk that he could barely understand, practically pressed against him. Although he didn't move over to your chair with the intent to press against you, he definitely noticed the proximity that you two shared.

Life had been a whirlwind these past weeks, but he felt that when he was near you that a lot of those anxieties he often has screaming in his head quieted down a little. He tried to chalk it up to the confidence that he had in your skills, but even though you are incredibly talented in your work, he knew that it was something more than that.

Something that he had to swallow down.

"Carmy, you motherfucker, are you even listening to me?" You call out, turning more in your chair and fixing him with an annoyed glare. Carmen swallows before nodding his head. "Ye-yeah, you have a plan to get that retail food license and alcohol seller's license at once right?"

You hum, giving him a once over again before turning in your seat. "Exactly. I think that my buddy Stephen can help us with that fire suppression test, he knows a thing or two--"

Carmen's eyes trace down your eyes, nose, and lips, noting the signature bite marks you left on your bottom one. He runs a tongue across his own before carding a hand through his hair to collect himself.

He was so fucked.

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*if ur @ is striked thru, tumblrs being a pain and not letting tag, imma keep trying tho!!

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fanfic #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear x reader #the bear season 2 #jeremy allen white x reader #jeremy allen white #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fanfic

2K notes · View notes

nickeverdeen · 4 months

Note

heya! can i request a HC for umbrella academy?

where five has a crush on reader but shes an airhead and doesnt figure it out, BUT, allison and viktor know so one day they catch five staring at reader and they point it out which leads to five getting embarrassed and looking away hella fast- idk where im going with this.... pretty much loverboy five with a crush on airhead reader 😭

thank u, stay hydrated!!

Hope you’ll like it! Please tell me if I wrote something wrong as I’m not really sure how an airheads usually act. Anyways I tried my best and I hope you’ll like it, love you 🫶💚

Five = blue text

Allison = pink text

Viktor = purple text

————————————————————

Five Hargreeves crushing on an airhead fem!reader

When Five first started interacting with you he started warming up towards you pretty quickly

You became friends or well… that’s what you considered him as he prefered to keep it as allies

Obviously that didn’t work

You on the other hand were just really glad that you got a friend

Despite his logical thinking, Five can’t help but be intrigued by your carefree and whimsical nature

It’s like small a mystery even he can’t solve

Five, being used to dealing with complex problems, is often baffled by the your scattered thoughts and blindness towards people who were trying to flirt with you

That is also one of the things he kidna also likes about you

It is pretty amusing to him

Five, in his own peculiar way, becomes protective of you

Yet you brush it off thinking it’s just him being protective towards you like towards his family

Being an airhead means that you also have an insight of some things

So when Five notices he starts to appreciate the unique perspective you bring to the team/family

Five, used to precision sometimes gets frustrated by the your forgetfulness and blindness

However, he can’t stay mad for long when you flash an innocent smile or do something adorably clumsy

Slowly Five secretly goes out of his way to make your life a bit easier

Like leaving helpful notes or subtly manipulating time to prevent minor mishaps

Five’s siblings were truly confused by his newfound interest, especially considering yours and his differences

Especially Allison and Viktor

They couldn’t put a finger on what he sees in the airhead considering he’s usually cold towards people like that but they were secretly amused by it

Klaus of course started teasing him about it

Five made sure not to snap at someome whenever you were around which made it better for Klaus

Despite the differences, there was a silent understanding between Five and you

Sometimes he even takes you to travel in time even if it would be only a few minutes

Mostly so he could hold your hand

He is much nicer towards you than towards others

Which leads Allison to talk to Viktor about this

A small speculations between the two siblings start

Seeing Five’s behaivor towards you made them believe that he may like you more than a friend

Viktor being Viktor had some doubts

Five stole a few glances at you during breakfeast when he was sitting across from you who is talking to Klaus

Your smile and carefree behaivor even in the morning is adorable

Viktor’s doubts are washed away when he and Allison catch Five staring at you

They decide to confort him about it silently so you wouldn’t notice

“You know if you’ll take a picture of her you can stare at it longer”

Five, caught off guard, quickly looks away, attempting to hide his embarrassment

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about”

Five, ever the stoic and composed one, quickly denies having any interest in the airhead

He brushes off their teasing, insisting that he was merely lost in thought

Allison since that day is the one teasing him about it while Viktor is the supportive one

He has been there with Sissy-

They make lighthearted jokes, causing Five to squirm uncomfortably as he continues to deny any romantic interest towards you

At which he fails terribly

Five, feeling the pressure, resorts to awkward deflections and changing the topic

To for example mission-related matters or starts analyzing some concepts, attempting to get rid of the attention from his personal life

The more you hang out with him the harder it is for him to hide his feelings

I mean you’re amazing

Despite his hiding, Five continues to steal glances at you, unable to completely hide his feelings

Of course Allison and Viktor exchange amused glances, silently acknowledging the obvious

It was driving Five crazy

Allison and Viktor, still determined to get Five to admit his crush, offer playful advice on expressing his feelings

They suggest subtle gestures or dropping hints, causing Five to groan in exasperation

“Come on Five, I’ve been there you just have to come clean”

“I am not in love with her!”

Despite the denial and embarrassment, there are moments when Five can’t help but smile when thinking about the airhead

Your smile, adorable behaivor, those eyes, that carefree and funny personality…

Shit, he has to confess before any other guy will do it

Five has Viktor’s and Allison’s support, he knows he’ll have to do it

Inside he feels like the 13 year old boy he looks like

Ready to confess his feelings towards you he fixes his tie and goes into the kitchen where you are…

————————————————————

✨And the rest is up to your imagination✨

#request #headcanons #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #five hargreaves x you #five hargreeves tua #airheads #five hargreeves having crush

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jelluf1sh · 7 months

Note

y/n teaching malleus how to crochet! :D

୨୧ ༉ ‧ ₊˚ ❝in cold weather, we stick crochet together!❞

★ synopsis. with the chill fast approaching, you, the ever-dependable prefect, take it upon yourself to prepare for the fall weather with a certain some-fae.

★ featuring. malleus draconia.

★ formatting. oneshot / short fic.

★ notes. established relationship, fluff, gn! reader, silly fae humor. reader is yuu in this scenario.

꒰— ๑ author’s note. HI VAYNE !! ♡ it’s so good to have u as my first official request. i hope this was good !! this feeds my soul, actually, and i'm so glad you requested this, because cozy fall fics are some of my favorites. i dont think i've ever actually written for you, have i ?? ꒱

Delicate. That’s the word.

Crocheting is a delicate hobby. Emerald eyes follow the tenderness of your fingers as you weave and you curl and you go in and out with that small needle and that one piece of yarn, and eventually, those eyes watch you begin to weave something resembling a... scarf.

The concept is endearing, but Malleus still feels out of place with something so delicate.

“Child of Man,” he pauses to start on another row, albeit slowly, “is this right?”

You look over, keeping your fingers in the same places within the tangle of yarn you plan to turn into a scarf, and purse your lips just slightly. He frowns when your eyebrows furrow, and assumes bad news.

“Not… quite.” And he watches again as you reach that tender, gentle finger out and point to a previous row that he messed up on, one he hadn't noticed prior, your needle bumping against his knuckles. “See that?”

The housewarden huffs, and you chuckle out loud as an angered puff of smoke breezes through his nostrils along with it. Now both determined and frustrated, Malleus sets his mind once again on completing the beanie he promised to make you mere hours ago. You had been so patient, guiding his hands, showing him where to hold the needle, where to thread, where to start new rows and different stitches (the magic circle in itself was a struggle), so he had to see it through.

Lilia had always complained about his ears going cold when the snowfall started. Silver had mentioned that having a new pair of gloves would be nice, and Sebek... well, unbeknownst to him, Sebek would appreciate a singular piece of yarn, had it come from Malleus's hands, but even still, he wanted to do something kind. And for you, he'd planned to make a hat. He remembered you had let it slip that you needed more winter clothes for the approaching holiday, too. You'd done enough and more for him: the least Tsunotaro could do was crochet a few garments.

"You'll get it, Mal, don't get pouty," you assured him, those same delicate fingers he so loved running up and down his back in soothing waves. "You've gotten better, y'know?" you offered. "Remember what you were like the first time you tried to do this? We had so much scrap yarn!" With that, came a sweet laugh.

It was true. The young prince had improved, but he didn't do it himself.

"Look. Are you having trouble with the shape?" Even as you spoke, your fingers never stopped working that yarn through the needle. Leaning over to support yourself on his broad shoulder, your squished cheek against his upper arm, you told him, "Keep your stitches loose, Mally, you don't need to be so tense."

He looked down at you just as you were telling him not to be so hard on himself. From an onlooker's perspective, anyone would be able to tell he loved everything about the predicament he was in, even from a single glance.

"You are a very good teacher."

Pausing, your head raises to meet his eyes. They flicker down every so often as you finish up your final stitches (goodness, you really had been working all that time?), finally giving your fingers (and poor needle) a break. A grin breaks across your pretty lips, stretching into your cheeks in that way your lover so adores. You hoist the muffler up just above his shoulders, wrapping it around Malleus's bare neck until only his plush top lip peeks out.

He takes in the green and black pattern of the new gift, careful not to tear the yarn with his nails. He had to be delicate with it, because now it was precious.

You open your mouth to answer, cheeks pressed against his shoulder once more.

"And you are a very good learner."

#moots. ★#the title is cringe pls dont talk abt the title #THIS IS SO FERNECORE IM FANGIRLINF #malleyuu #twst #twst x reader #malleus x reader #malleus twst #can u tell idk crochet terminology #i at least know the magic circle because i tried to do it when i attempted crocheting and got upset and never did it again #꒰🪼꒱ jelly writes.#꩜ inbox. ✉️#malleus draconia x reader #me next #tsunotaro me next make me smth too

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eusion · 19 days

Text

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪nct wish hyung line as ur college bf ⌒☆

word count ⌒☆ 858

pairing ⌒☆ nct wish hyung line x reader

note ⌒☆ ive done it... save me

sion ⌒☆

walks with u to ur every class even if his own class is across campus

attends every club formal event with u bcus he cant let ppl see u without him!!! esp if ur dressed all pretty

despite wanting to be around u all of the time he will give u more than enough time to urself or w ur own friends

hes jumping into dance circles at parties but will periodically check in on u to see if ur doing ok

"did u eat yet" "ok did u wna go get food"

never gets jealous or competitive when he sees other guys flirting with u. hes v confident n trusts u 1000%!!

hes just better and he knows it

gets shy often so pda doesnt come easily

so when he holds ur hand while walking through campus u feel really giddy

doesnt let u eat in the dining hall bcus he thinks the food sucks so he tries n brings u lunch everyday

always there to lend support or advice whenever u need it

otherwise hes quietly cheering u on w the biggest smile on his face

he takes care of u a lot but u always make sure to return the favor!

he needs a lot of reassurance too so u always take time out of ur day to tell him how much u appreciate him

cup his cheeks n give him a kiss!!!!! he will smile so big...

hes v studious n never puts off his work

his good work ethic rubbed off on u but even during study sessions u both cant help but get even a Little distracted

laughs at all of ur jokes n ur not sure if its bcus ur funny or bcus he wants to make u feel better

riku ⌒☆

will do anything to take the same core classes as u so he can have a partner

if someone tries to take u as a partner first he will whine n cry until the other person gives in

designated study buddy even though u two get distracted 100% of the time

when ur rlly stressed from exams count on riku to be there to give u comfort n lots of hugs

whenever u get up for something as small as presenting or as big as mcing for ur club event, riku will always be there cheering the loudest for u

"THATS MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" then covers his face in embarrassment

randomly calls u over zoom just for fun...

works at ur campus bakery n passes u free bread n pastries even after getting in trouble w his boss

also jumping in the dance circle n will take 5 min breaks in between to chug his water n fan himself

dragging u to every campus event..........

when u two have sleepovers ur sharing his twin bed

he will hog the blanket n steal ur plushies + the entire pillow

drunk riku is either spitting out nonsense or theres a constant string of i love u's

u two are learning tiktok dances in ur free time n saving them for ur drafts just to look back on later

always at ur apt/dorm? unannounced?

but ur roommates n housemates are used to it

plays volleyball for fun w his friends n u come to his lil games to cheer him on

yushi ⌒☆

takes pottery as an elective n every piece he makes he dedicates it to u

begs that u visit him at work with the widest eyes

gives u free drinks all the time even after getting caught n almost fired

lets u take as many silly pics of him bcus he knows ur gonna post it on main....

and gets super Happy when u post him

u two are regulars at his favorite stir fry restaurant! the owners love seeing u two together n will always add on the unofficial college couple discount

lives on campus so u two have lots of sleepovers together..

dormmates recognize ur shoes n always expect u to be there

always tagging along when u need to run errands! whether itd b for groceries or returning a shirt he will b there!!

ur always studying when hes around :((( < yushi

ur laptop on the coffee table n ur back against the couch as u sit on the floor..

sometimes he will come over n just lay his head on ur lap while scrolling thru his phone

matching accessories.. lil things like scarves, gloves, etc

has a cute selfie of u two as his lockscreen and an off guard of u walking along the pier as his homescreen

part of ur schools dance crew along w sion

u love watching his performances! u never get tired of watching him and bragging to everyone about how talented ur bf is

"and u didnt bring me flowers?"

matching merch for ur college... just showed up once day with two varsity jackets for u n him

is actually on the unis soccer team n is one of their best! #allrounder

u go to his games in his jerseys all the time just to see how big his smile gets on the field

#nct #nct wish #nct wish imagines #nct imagines #sion #riku #yushi #sion imagines #riku imagines #yushi imagines #nct fluff #college au

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flwrstqr · 14 days

Note

mutuals appreciation messages !!

haii!! i wanted to do this so here: (mainly did moots i interact with the most!!)

@copyhanni, thank you for basically everything, hye bae. everyday im always forward to texting u on the gc. and the way you always defend me is something i really admire in you. i love you to the moon and back <3

@naespas, nae i love you sooo much. you make me laugh every time when you send silly goofy little texts and images. your personality and spirit really makes me feel like myself and in tough times, your always there for me

@wonifullove, sav im sooo happy we got closer recently cause your the sweetest moot/best friend to me ever. your posts are amazing, and your jokes are >>>>. i think your the most relatable person i ever met too.

@bywons, sru you were one of my first moots ever when i made this. you were the moot that helped watched me grow and become who i am today. our dms together make me giggle and smile. thank you and ily ><

@nishions, hiii lizzz!!! im married to your works and ur acc. ur sweet personality makes me sooo excited to be around you. literally i remember the first time we met was through asks and here we are now. sending love and hugs

@yeokii, my twin bae!!!!! im so sad we js met recently but ur so relatable + so funny + so sweet + so amazing. ur acc truly feels like a safe place to be. hope we could get closer!!!

@atrirose, my angel, seiu <33 ur the sweetest person i ever met in tumblr. ur works make me levitate and cry every time i read them (good thing). your account themes are so gorgeous???????

@isoobie, riri bae!!!!!! i get soo excited when i see you in my inbox and my homepage. your bubbly and funny personality makes me smile everyday when im on tumblr. thank u for everything and love u !!!

@okwonyo, jiah u were literally my idol back when i was a enha reader. i was obsessed with your works and now the fact im moots w u plus interacted multiple times makes me feel super proud (hehe). i hope we could get close!!!

@yenqa, ik yen ur on hiatus but thank u sooo much for enjoying all my works. i love all ur works too + ur so funny. every time i see you interact or like my work, i get sooo happy cus if your happy im happy!! (miss u sooo much TT)

@jjunae, hai kae!!!! even though we dont interact too much, i want to appreciate all your works and your effort. you work so hard and im in love with every single piece you write. sending support and love <3

@sainns, anna!!!!! thank u for enjoying my works and once again supporting me. i saw you so many times on my tl before we even became moots and here we are now. (also thank u for defending me during times when i needed the most support. love u)

@ashtxrie, ash (or sunoo's gf), thank u for being one of my first moots. u were the one who supported my works. sending luck to your exams!!! u got this!! ><

@stariekis, my uri bby. you are truly an angel from heaven. your sweet compliments make me smile everyday. even though i know you won't see this due to your hiatus, i want to let you know how much i really appreciate your words. you truly are someone that i admire up to and love. thank you <3

@neos127, hai hai ky! we don't talk often but we've talked a couple times in our inboxes. even based on our small conversations, i noticed how sweet and kind you are. you truly are a person that everyone loves and will support throughout.

@stariikis, my ash, you were one of the first ppl who dmed me and reached out to become friends. you were one of the first ppl who was my age and became a friend of mine. i want to say you truly are a good person and ill support you throughout every moment. sending kisses ^3^

@hyeinkiss, via baefy!! even though we just met yesterday, i want to note how cute and sweet u r. the way u love my works make me so proud of myself. i truly hope u get all the love and attention u deserve. i love u sm via, i hope we could become close moots!!!

@onlyjjong, lili, my love sender. your lovely messages are the truly sweetest in the world. the way you always care for others and look out for outs is the best thing about you. i really hope to see u in my inboxes soon ><

#♡ danielle's mooties !!#sending kisses

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softkiseu · 8 months

Text

◌◌◌ ✽✽✽ ◌◌◌

𝟐𝒌 ⤾蝶🦋 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑒

the day finally here and it's time to celebrate because we arrive in my one of the greatest destination / milestone in my tumblr journey. drum roll pls. i now met a two thousand (2k) dearest lovely nabis.✨me being so happy, cheering and dancing w tripleS LOVElution! it's a celebration,yet to break from my playful happy moments and be back a serious mode for a few seconds. thank u so much for all the support, even i'm not a friendly vocal blog like others, you guys never left me and show support on your own way. this slow progress is a big deal with me because i never thought i'll reach this far. i was like, 1k is enough at first but now we able to double it and it's a special gift that i would ever never received without you dearest butterflies. once again, tysm and ily all! 🤍

special thanks to : @dubuyunniechi @wiotas @y2qi @interstellarz @koosuvi @2592 @jenfaery @yunjios @raeceah @hazelnut-affogato @gun-wook @ecojinri @alfaire @chaey2k @y-ves @webzzo @w-eons @w-oun @h-ao @yeritos @jaes1lvr @gunw-ook @menhpy @iluvrei @i-jiwon @eunaray @tookio @dewyrka @i04rei @i07swan @flwzai @i4sullyoon @k-yujin @jeonzio @sugiieop @starmio-deactivated20230830 (😟) @yunjidoll @sakkurada @minguukie @sseulr1n @gigittamic @isamiracle @tzulipss @tyunlouv @tozak-i @baesol @y-unjins @v6mpcat @dollienini @wonflirtz (might forgot someone, i have a dory brain so apologies, also sadly reach my tag limits)

vip people i sometimes chat with and other who quietly sweetly leaving notes- that so often and i never failed to notice, want you to know that i do appreciate each one of you guys, so so much. some are a inspo, didn't have a chance to chat or interact yet, hopefully one day we able to get closer. they are all the kindest and sweetest to make sure to follow if your still not.

ps. a event is coming to celebrate this milestone. hope to see you fam join! sending hearts to everyone 🤍✨

#2k! ♡#who's navi?#renjwoo stan #jihan stan #underrated gg stan

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qqueenofhades · 9 months

Note

bless u for the comprehensive answer to my last question, it is much appreciated! And sincere apologies for coming off as defeatist - you're absolutely right that, at the end of the day, the most important thing is working as hard as we can to make sure trump loses the general election. What this really clarifies for me is that my focus should be on the elections, and that I should file the judicial process under "interesting, could be useful, but will never be a silver bullet". Thank you again!

You're welcome, and I think it's most useful to think of it like this: we need to do our job (defeating Trump in 2024) so Jack Smith's job (indicting the fucker up the wazoo) will stick. We hear endless punditry and hand-wringing about how Trump will just cancel the charges if he wins, and that's often presented as some kind of terrible foregone conclusion that we will only avert by dumb luck, if we do at all. And yet, for some funny reason, we never hear about the flip side: i.e. if Trump loses, he's fucked. He will have no more reason to delay, no last-minute Hail Mary play, nothing to stop him from standing trial, being convicted, and going to jail, and that's exactly why he and the rest of the fascist criminals are throwing everything at the election. It is his last shot.

Honestly, I don't want people complacently thinking that the indictments will do the work for them and get rid of Trump -- because they will, but only if we do our job first and pound that motherfucker into the ground in 2024. I don't want anything to take away from the importance of doing everything we can to help Biden win in 2024 -- voting, volunteering, donating, talking to friends and family, you name it. We NEED to do that work so that Trump is out of miraculous golden parachutes and is left to face the consequences. And if he does (again, please God) lose, at least this time he is not the sitting American president and does not have the full resources of the federal government to attempt a coup. In that sense, if you want to see Trump properly, completely brought to justice, it's so easy:

Support the indictments

Vote for Biden in 2024

Do everything to make sure Trump loses

The end.

It's really that easy. Because as noted, if we do our part and Trump loses the election, he is fucked. That's really all there is to it.

We are in uncharted territory here because the founding fathers were eighteenth-century Enlightenment rationalists, and while they obviously did not trust a king and built in all kinds of checks and balances to prevent the president from BEING a king, they also imagined that whoever held the job would at least make a good-faith effort to follow the rules. Besides, the best-designed political system in the world would still be vulnerable to someone like Trump, who gleefully and sociopathically wrecks all norms and precedents however he pleases. That's why there isn't technically a law on the books preventing someone in prison from running for president, because the founding fathers were operating under the idea that people in American government would at least try, however badly, to perform the functions of American government. Trump doesn't. He doesn't give a shit about that. He's willing to take the whole country down in flames if it saves him personally from consequences, and while our institutional guardrails (barely) held last time, they've already said that a second Trump term would involve wrecking all of those, because he is a tinpot narcissistic psychopath dictator wannabe. And yes, it's terrifying, and yes, too many people didn't learn from 2016, and all the rest, but still:

If you want to see the fucker go to jail and reap the consequences of his actions, make sure he loses the 2024 election. That's what you need to focus on. Do that, and the rest of it will come after. So yeah.

#anthropicmoose #ask #politics for ts #the giant orange monster

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maaarshieee · 1 year

Note

hey hi! i saw u asking for dottore requests so here i am with one :)

how about what a relationship w dottore is like while ur both attending the akademiya? before he was expelled? i would love to see ur interpretation on what he was like and what it was like to be with him!

also for the reader could i possibly ask it to be male? if not then gender neutral is fine! thank u in advance! <33

⎯⎯ ୨ 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐇𝐂𝐬 𝐰/ 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 ୧ ⎯⎯

➢ Iʟ Dᴏᴛᴛᴏʀᴇ x Gɴ!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

➢ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

a/n - ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH IVE BEEN ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT WRITING THIS ILYSM /P this wasn't my best but honestly i just needed to write him,, titled "akademiya days HCs w/ dottore", have a good day/night!! ALSO PLS REQUEST THIS MAN, I PROMISE I CAN WRITE BETTER THAN THSI.

↬ cw: established long-term relationship with reader, mentions of experiments, canon typical violence, slight obsession (basic dottore warnings) usage of the name 'zandik' for dottore

You've known him, Zandik, for as long as you can remember. From childhood to your teenage years. Together, you were chased out of your hometown. Him, for being a "madman", and you, for supporting and even encouraging his maniacal tendencies.

You only went to Sumeru Akademiya to be with him since the two of you were practically inseparable. You wanted to stay by his side and help him with his experiments. That, and also the fact he needed you.

He will never outright express it, but without you, it just doesn't feel right. Like he's missing something very important. You.

At first, it didn't really mean anything to him when you stayed, but the more you stuck around? The more he was internally grateful for you staying with him, even if he wasn't the best to be with.

And the more he has to keep you with him. No matter what. Luckily, you're not letting go of him either. The two of you were a perfect match. Both have loose screws in their heads and are madly in need of each other.

Perhaps for eternity.

So he does these things for you when the two of you shared a house back in Sumeru. It's always the little things about with him. Doing the laundry before you do it, organizing your files of research when you fall asleep on your desk in midst of trying to finish them, helping you with your studies, and many more.

Sometimes he'd add notes and corrections to your research papers whenever he happens to get his hands on them.

Zandik knew you were never engrossed in researching and would rather do things with his instructions instead, so he'd help you do your tasks if it meant keeping you close to him at all times.

He'd cook you breakfast if he wasn't too busy, but he'd always complain about he has to cook for the two of you every morning when you can always just cook for yourself, albeit later, and won't be eating with him.

Zandik is so subtle in showing his love for you, but you've been with him for so long, enough to be able to understand what his actions meant. But back when you were at the Akademiya? He was like a househusband. Hell, he even folded your clothes for you and you had to scold him to stop.

He merely rolled his eyes, saying; "Your room is a mess. How can you live in this filth?"

You're caressing my clothes like a weirdo, is what you wanted to say but you knew better and kept your mouth shut. After all, you'd often steal his clothes, just wrap them around you and inhale his scent.

Since he's the type to never really mingle around others, often intimidating them or just being plain rude enough for them to start avoiding him, you took the role of being the sociable one. Basically talking to others to get more information about anything and if it's of use, you'd tell Zandik.

And he greatly appreciates how helpful you are, especially when he abhors conversing with seemingly brainless, so-called scholars of Sumeru.

You're really the only person he could tolerate the most.

Always together. From walking the halls of the Akademiya, in classes, libraries, anywhere. Anyone who knows you would always see you together. It was always odd when the other is absent next to them.

Though, to others, sometimes it wasn't clear if the two of you were in a relationship or just really close friends. Mostly because the two of you never indulge in (obvious) PDA.

Scholars would see the two of you in the library, minding each other's business, and would occasionally speak to each other. Or the banter the two of you would share here in there, usually consisting of you crying to annoy Zandik and him telling you to shut up.

But they don't even notice the hand he'd always have at the small of your back. Or the way he'd ask you if you need any help with your research. Or the way he'd always bring you coffee when he buys one himself.

It's not like both of you hate PDA, it's more like you act naturally with each other. Sometimes you'd even hold onto his arm, to which he would give you a questioning look but would never push you away.

It's the subtly outsiders of your relationship won't ever get. And you both prefer it that way.

Back at the Akademiya, it was rather docile and tame beside the secret experiments behind closed doors. Being with him was both chaotic and calm.

One moment he'd be making a fuss about his experiments to you, willingly doing errands for him to quell his frustrations, then you'd be laying on the floor, dozing off to the sounds of pen scribbling on paper, a small huff of amusement coming from Zandik.

There were many things he'd do for you, and you share the same sentiment. So, if someone were to insult you? Make you uncomfortable or just look at you in the wrong way? Well, next time you'll be seeing them strapped on a metal bed.

───── ❝ encore! ❞ ─────

"I'm honestly running out of ideas." You sighed, an arm covering your eyes while you sprawled yourself onto the cool floor. Papers surrounded your laid form, an utter mess in the middle of Zandik's way whilst he just wanted to go towards the kitchen to prepare dinner for both of you.

You were supposed to do your chores for tonight, but it's clear he'd also have to take up those tasks as well. Not when you're lamenting your own 'doom' if you've not passed your research on its due date. Not like you cared about graduating, you just thought it would be nice to achieve something while you're at Sumeru Akademiya. And now you're at risk of not graduating if you don't pass it in time.

Zandik always found humor in the way you'd fuss over your research though. You always said you've never cared, but it was clearly obvious you did. He knew you had other goals before you indulged yourself in his, so he never held you back on your own research and experiments while you were at the Akademiya. It's also nice to see you so dedicated to other things, especially if it's something you're very passionate about.

"Who knew this would be much more stressful than your research?" You grunted when Zandik nudged you to move aside with his foot, unceremoniously stepping on your thesis papers which earned a glare from you. "I hate the Akademiya..." You'd mumbler under your breath. He merely scoffed at your behavior, ignoring your existence once he finally arrived at the kitchen.

Knowing him, you sat up from the floor and made sure you were a meter away from the line drawn on the ground. Zandik put that there since, as it turns out, you're never to be trusted in the kitchen, with or without his supervision. He couldn't simply comprehend how the kitchen was up in flames when he turned away for a few moments, mistakenly trusting you to cook eggs. Eggs.

A hazard is what he calls you. So the kitchen became his territory in the house you shared. You're only allowed to enter after he's done cooking. If you somehow find yourself in the kitchen? Expect a flying spatula right at your face. You never really minded, you always preferred his cooking.

Plus, you get to see him roll up his sleeves and put on an apron.

When he was finished, he called out your name, inviting you into the kitchen. Once you entered, your stomach immediately let out a loud growl as your mouth watered at the sight of your favorite food. "Oh, is there an occasion?" You asked, taking a seat opposite of him, and immediately started digging in after you'd thanked him.

Zandik raised a brow at you, sipping on his cup of tea before saying; "No, nothing of sorts." You just let out a thoughtful hum, a smile etching your lips at each bite.

"Ah, then why?" He could only sigh at your question, grabbing a napkin and wiping the mess you've made at the corners of your mouth and your chin. You only leaned in closer, staring at his crimson eyes.

"Do I require a reason to cook something you like? It just happened to be what's available for tonight." He scoffed, shaking his head, and went back to eating his food with an annoyed expression.

You let out a silent chuckle, letting it go, and continued to eat instead. You guess that he needn't a reason, but you felt so much better after he cooked your favorite meal.

He's never straightforward with you sometimes, no? Well, as they say, actions speak louder than words.

If you want to be tagged in future works, fill out this form to be added to my taglist! Remember that usernames are only lowercase and have no spaces!

Taglist: @anniejourn, @dilucssiliconedildo, @achlysyo, @sunoo-bby

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛❛ If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I'll appreciate it very very much! Don't repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

#il dottore x reader #dottore x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #:;marshie.writes #:;requested #:;headcanons #:;drabble #:;il.dottore

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getonite · 4 months

Text

hiiii! seen a couple of people do this, plus i realized i don't appreciate my mutuals as much as i should. and since the year is ending (literally today), i thought i'd appreciate y'all for a lil bit.

→ if the tagging irritated you, i apologize 🙏🏾. if i missed you, lmk, i was 100% half asleep while making this! (this is actually so embarrassing ngl. but i luv yall 🫶🏾)

(🎧 : avian) → @sensivs

starting off with my pookie with a beautiful (horny) brain. im dead fucking serious i have zero idea how we became mutuals (🧍🏾‍♂️). i just remembering talking to you one day, and the we were having full conversations in dms lmaoo. an emoji ring, helios, an unborn baby (??), and multiple fic ideas...now we're at the end of the year. i really appreciate you and all of your chaotic energy, it made me laugh! and all of your prompts are immaculate (🤌🏽). i await the days you post more fics or drabbles so i can support you the way you have me! :) luv u pooks, i def wanna ramble u more about hcs!

→ (i sound like im about to die omg)

(🎧 : snail/seraph) → @flimsyichigo

again, zero fucking idea when we became mutuals (i don't remember shit). we don't talk too often but i be seein you likeing my horrendously down bad and chaotic thoughts...i appreciate you bro (🙏🏾). i love your fluffy blue lock sruff, and your overall vibes are (yes, through the screen) amazing! thank you for dealing with my bullshit.

→ (as i type this, i realize just how many mutuals i have jeez, (half of which i barely talk to but still))

(🎧 : ame) → @pastelclovds

ameeeee, number 1 ive always loved your writing (iterally giggling and kicking my feet as i press the like button). your themes r so fucking gorgeous omg. we don't talk as often, but i love when we do interact. i hope we can more (im just easily embarrassed).

→ (i sound like a teenager leaving a love letter in a locker. omggggg)

(🎧 : ace ) → @acefantasyy

another person who puts up with my horrendously down bad bullshit takes. i applaude you for dealing with my ass lmaoo. but, on another note, i smile when i see you in my notes (no, i didn't originally mean that 2 b a joke). i really appreciate the reply you made when i went on a little break, thank you! i hope you continue to deal me, and i hope we interact more!

→ (i really gotta start talkin 2 yall more)

(🎧 : riri) → @pynkkgeto

we're friends irl. i don't have 2 say shit 4 u (luv uuu 🫶🏾)

(🎧 : rome) → @satocidal

yet another person who delt with my nonsense lol. you're quite busy, so you won't see this for a second. but thank you for being awesome and making me laugh with your naobito jokes. thank for the reply you left when i was the one going on break. hope all goes well for you!

(🎧 : idk ur name TvT) → @infrunamie

i feel so bad omg. but i wanted to appreciate your writing for a sec. whether its a drabble, headcanons, a fic, or just 100 words, your brain is miraculous when you write cuz it always leads to me wanted more. seriously, i love it. i was actually shocked you followed me, literally looked up to your writing ong (🙏🏾). i love it when you show up in my notes even if it's just a like. thank you for your reply when i went on break, trust, all of them got me through those shitty ass exams! ty!

→ (im sure this isn't what my therapist meant by being outgoing but im gunna do ts anyway)

(🎧 : spirit) → @spiritfrvr

literally the best vibes on earth i swear. your blog is like a fluffy hug omg. and (imo), you kinda bring that over to other blogs. i'd really like to talk to you more and ramble about random shit! :)

(🎧 : arlan) → @asuyaka

your drabbles r so cuuutee! i love them so much omg. especially the taking care of suguru one! i was surprised you liked my writing sm, and i love yours the same! i really appreciate the little reply under the break post and the christmas tree! seeing notifs of u makes me smile!

(🎧 : qi) → @yaekiss

i don't think we've been mutuals for too long, but omg we reeally should speak more!! i loved your message on the christmas tree! i love the vibe and look of your blog omg. i hope we can interact more!

(🎧 : juno) → @arlertdarling

hi junooo! ty for the message on my christmas tree, and i agree! we really should interact more! you seem like a realllly cool person, plus im on my fucking knees for your writing, dead serious. hope we can talk more, i hope you have a great 2024!

→ (srsly, y tf do i sound like im moving far away or smth TvT)

(🎧 : najma) → @honeybleed

ilysm ong. number one, we cousins (😔✊🏾; im joking pls help), number two, your theme was downright gorgeous (still is), number three, your writing it delicious. i haven't had too much time lately, buuut, i love how you post content that isn't completely smut (as a smut blog that fails at angst lol). its nice to get a break and see fluffy or angsty stuff in the tags instead of the same repeated material. you know you what you like and you stand firm in what you say (i need 2 b more like u fr), and your overall vibes are amazing! i love seeing your anime takes omg. i hope we can interact more in 2024!

→ (that kinda rhymed...and unrelated, but im listening to the mean girls soundtrack or 4 hours of sleep writing this)

(🎧 : yoru) → @dilfverz

number one, thank you for the messege on my christmas tree. number two, your so cool (😭). i love your themes and your writing, how you interact with ppl and anons is funny lol. literally look up to your writing ngl. i super appreciate your for explaining genshin impact to me, cuz im definitely not playing that damn game lol. your reblogs and likes in my notes make me wanna cry ngl. thank you for being so cool! (🙏🏾)

→ (am i over using emojis? i am so tired omg)

(🎧 : sy) → @wrizzesley

we just became mutuals like a week ago lmaoo. but i love your writing so much. and your themes?!?! (:O). i know damn well that shit is time consuming and exhausting, i applaud you, i could never lol. but anyway, i hope we can interact more in this new year. i think your really cool!

(🎧 : astro? idk im so sorry) → @astroknottt

i love your writing holy fuck. but other than that, i love it when you reblog my stuff! esp with those little comments, they've given me a bunch of motivation. and seeing you write such toe curling shit, that gives me motivation too! hope we can interact some more in the new year!

→ (pls ignore my silent pleas for help in these notes, but my vision is wonky. i promise im going to sleep in a second)

(🎧 : ) → @naee0

your probably locked out of tumblr again lol. but if you see this, thank you for your chaotic energy! and even if it was one sentence, what you sent on thr break post, i really appreciate it! even if you or me aren't on tumblr much, i hope we can interact a bit more! you're pretty cool! and i loved those drabbles. i hope your doing great!

PRODUCER MESSEGE: "i think that was all. again, if i missed you, please lmk. i might have been blind (my eyes prolly look like that squidward meme). but i appreciate all of you! thank you, and pls dont hate me 🙏🏾"

#🎧 → 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐔𝐌: FEATURED #mutual appreciation #this is last minute on the last day of December #but i cant wait for the new year!#i love my mooties sm!#ive discovered things about myself while writing this #omg y the hell am i so nervous?!?!#fuck social anxiety #i just appreciate yall

51 notes · View notes

acourtofwhatthefuck · 1 year

Text

Fireleaf (Part Thirteen)

Hi! Hope you’re all well 🥰 just wanted to say thank you, as always, for the lovely support on this series; @greeneyedivy and I really do read all your comments and appreciate them 🥹

Warnings: Some smut. Depictions of violence.

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Oh, you were so very, incredibly fucked.

If such a revelation hadn’t struck you like a ton of bricks already, well — it certainly had now.

There was no getting away from the fact as you stood across the room from Lucien and watched. Watched him flicking through a book with a child on each knee.

This was the third village you’d stopped at, now, and yet he didn’t seem to tire one bit. He’d showed the same keen enthusiasm with every family he spoke to, every child he took the time to chat and play with. Eyes alert and glistening. Cheeks slightly flushed.

You didn’t think you’d ever seen him smile so much.

And it was for that reason that your eyes repeatedly strayed to him as you saw to the little girl in front of you, who, when Lucien had asked what toy she’d like to play with, had said she wanted you to put a braid in her hair like you had in yours.

Poppy, her name was. Poppy, who just so happened to also have bright, Vanserra-red hair.

It didn’t exactly help to still the rapid melting of your heart.

“Why is it called a fishtail?” Poppy asked you — full of questions, now that her initial shyness had dissipated.

You smiled fondly, recalling that you’d once asked the same of Linden. “Because,” you leaned around her, showing her the strands of hair that you’d braided, “see how the hair is weaved together? It looks like a fish’s scales. Cool, huh? I wear a braid in my hair every day.”

You didn’t know why your eyes crept to Lucien again right in that moment. Or perhaps, deep down, you did. Your braid, that had once solely reminded you of Linden, had other thoughts attached to it, now. Thoughts of his firm, intricate fingers pinching the hair. Russet eyes catching it when you moved.

Those russet eyes stared back at you from across the room.

Lucien’s gaze met yours, and you found your cheeks heating. You shifted, refocusing your gaze on Poppy.

But children, of course, did not miss a trick.

“Are you and Lucien married?” She asked, tipping her head back to look at you.

You suppressed the urge to choke, fastening her little braid with a band. “Me and Lucien? No. We’re…friends.”

It still felt weird saying that. Even though there’d been nothing but warm, good feeling between you the entire day, you felt like you were waiting for old habits to seep back in. For him to change his mind about wanting to be your friend.

“My papa smiles at my mama like that.” Poppy continued — and you knew. Knew that Lucien was still looking your way, even though you avoided his gaze.

“Finished.” You knelt in front of her, brushing her gorgeous, vibrant hair forward. “We match now, see?”

“Pretty.”

Well. That deep voice certainly hadn’t come from the little girl in front of you. You stiffened slightly, glancing over your shoulder to find that Lucien had approached.

He was smiling. Utterly in his element. And he kneeled beside you, also studying Poppy’s hair.

“It suits you, Pops.” He grinned brilliantly. “Y/N did a good job, huh?”

Pops. He visited these villages so often, made such an effort with the less fortunate families, that he had nicknames for the children.

An urge arose in you to hug him. You quickly shoved it away.

Poppy was beaming, utterly delighted, but her brow furrowed as Lucien turned to you and said, “We should probably get going before it gets late.”

The disappointment in the little girl’s face had you almost tempted to pitch up in that room and stay the night. But you knew you’d taken enough of a risk, today, by just coming here. By disappearing from the estate with Lucien, before everyone else had even woken up. You’d left a note for Dion, informed him that you were helping Lucien run some errands, but…best not to push it.

“Can’t you stay longer?” Poppy frowned up at Lucien.

Lucien smiled gently at her. “Wish we could, sweetheart, but we need to get home. But I’ll come see you all again real soon, okay?”

The little girl’s green eyes slid to you. “You, too, Y/N?”

You hadn’t thought your heart could possibly swell any more, and yet there you were, wanting to snatch the child up into your arms and squeeze her tight. So little, these families had. So much they wanted for and lacked – and yet what she’d enjoyed the most from the day wasn’t the toys, but the company. The ability to forget and be a normal child for a little while.

“I’ll come back, too.” You smiled, tucking her braid behind her ear. “Promise.”

As you readied yourselves to leave, you were met with similar protests from the other children – and from some of the adults, too, who offered you dinner; offered to share the food they had so little of. And it was mighty tempting, to stay in the company of people who were real, genuine. Who cared about things other than social standing and wealth. Who smiled, despite their many reasons not to. Being around them for the day had been…refreshing, in its own roundabout way.

But there was no use putting off the inevitable. Pretending that you didn’t have your own reality to get back to.

With the evenings being lighter, now, the sun was a dusky hue of pinks and oranges as the two of you set off on your horses. You rode side-by-side in a comfortable silence, nothing but utter peace between the two of you. Even as little as a week earlier, you wouldn’t have imagined you and Lucien being so at ease with one another. And yet it just felt…natural.

Like you should have been friends this whole time.

You’d enjoyed the steady quiet for a while, just the sounds of your horses’ hooves clopping against the path, before you became aware of Lucien’s gaze set firmly on you. It was ridiculous — the reactions a mere glance of his drew from your body. The way it thrilled you all over to know that he was just…looking at you. For what reason, and for how long, you didn’t know.

You turned your head, meeting his stare with a raised eyebrow. “What is it?”

His head tilted, hair rippling beautifully in the evening light. “You’re good with children.”

That drew a short laugh from you. “You didn’t think I would be? Am I not soft enough? Too much of a dragon, perhaps?”

“No—I mean…I didn’t mean…I figured you hadn’t had many dealings with them—”

“Lucien.” You cracked a wicked grin. “I’m teasing you.”

He stared at you — and then snorted, shaking his head. Amusement danced in his eyes as he focused forward once more, and you…you wanted to laugh. To continue to grin. To enjoy this. It felt good. Better than good.

It felt right.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Pausing your journey home to watch the sun set had seemed like a good idea at the time, when the mellow hues of the skies had shifted and bled into a vast expanse of deep blues and blacks pockmarked with stars.

It hadn’t seemed like such a good idea when you’d finally ascended the long, winding path up to the Vanserra Estate, and the very late hour had become all too apparent to you. The manor was cloaked in darkness, the entire place just as still and slumbering as it had been when you’d set off in the morning.

You and Lucien had been gone together the entire day, and that…that was sure to raise a few eyebrows.

But you decided that was a problem to be faced after some sleep — not now, when you were still so blissfully warm inside from spending the day how you had. Doing something good and constructive and necessary, instead of just walking prettily around the grounds of the estate.

You and Lucien returned your horses to the stables, a strange energy zipping between you. Because you knew it was time to call it a day, to say goodnight, and yet you didn’t want the day to end just yet.

You’d enjoyed yourself. When was the last time you could honestly say that?

It was what had you turning to Lucien, who was gathering up the empty sacks that had held the supplies and toys, and asking him, “Want some help with those?”

And gods, it was so pathetic — because those firm, golden arms, corded with muscle, could quite easily manage a pile of empty hessian sacks. Lucien met your gaze, like he knew the true reason behind your offer, and your cheeks flushed. You waited for teasing or rejection—

But then he straightened himself out, handing you a handful of the sacks. His tone was hushed. “They’re kept in one of the outbuildings at the back.”

Which meant crossing the vast green of the estate, over to the cluster of older buildings that housed a whole array of random items. Lucien held the stable door open for you, and you slipped back out into the night, the two of you seeming to silently pretend that the pile of coarse sacks you each carried held the weight of the world.

Anything to make your best day yet stretch just a little bit longer.

Lucien led you into the crumbling outbuilding, allowing just a single, dim faelight to light the area. It was strangely…cosy in there. You looked around at the few shelves stacked against the wall, the old, worn chair in the corner. Even a throw was draped over the back of it.

He took the sacks from your hands, reading the look on your face. “If the weather’s bad,” he said, “I come in here to read instead. Just like the barn you hole yourself up in — nobody bothers to find me here.”

You studied him, feeling strangely…touched, that he’d shared it with you. He could have just explained the space away as a disused building that old tat was kept in, but lo and behold, as you peered closer, you glimpsed the few books scattered about. A couple of daggers and some wooden carvings. Some leather-bound journals. It seemed incredibly personal—

“I have the only key.” He explained, as if he’d read your thoughts. Again. “I snagged it ages ago and nobody noticed. Nobody comes in here anyway.”

You couldn’t help smiling. So this was one of the places he might be when he appeared to have wandered off. Wrapped up in a blanket, reading and writing…

Gods, this day had utterly destroyed your misconceptions about him. Which wasn’t a bad thing, but…dangerous. Risky.

You cleared your throat, figuring you should probably get out of there. “Thank you for letting me come with you today. Really — I enjoyed it.”

Lucien turned, staring at you. There was a strange quality to his features. Something pensive and brooding, and yet…soft. Accepting.

“I enjoyed it, too.” He said quietly.

You nodded once. And made no effort to move. He watched you.

“You’re a good person, Lucien.”

You could have sworn a light pink pinched at his cheeks. He dipped his chin, allowing his hair to shield him for a moment, as though your words had touched some unseen, unreachable part of him. He was…still. Thinking. Until he glanced up again.

“It was nice…” He took a slow step towards you. “You know — not fighting.”

Right. Yes. The peace had been nice, had been good. You were friends. now, and it was—

Lucien stopped a hair’s-breadth away from you. Close enough for your bodies to brush. Every single one of your senses was on high alert as he stared down at you.

“Yeah—yes.” You forced yourself to respond. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. “It’s way better…being friends.”

“Yep.” He dipped his chin. “Friends.”

You swallowed. Nodded. “Friends.”

Being friends was appropriate. Sensible. Responsible.

What was none of those things was the way Lucien closed that tiny, minuscule gap between you. The way his hand went down to your waist, and he began walking you backwards, backing you up until you were boxed in against the wall.

He was so, so close to you, now, his hair brushing your face. And he just…stared. Stared down at you.

He stood like that for so long, unmoving, that you forced your eyes up to his. And the intensity in his gaze almost had you looking away again.

Those dark eyes were like pure, scorching fire. His mouth was slightly parted, and his tongue ran over his bottom lip, his throat bobbing on a hard swallow. His other hand — the one not occupied by your waist — moved to your face.

And the touch was feather-light. So soft, so gentle, as he cupped your face in his large hand. His eyes didn’t move from yours, not once, as the rough pad of his thumb brushed over your cheekbone, down and along your jaw, across to your lips, where it lingered.

“Friends.” He repeated the word — like he was trying to remind himself of it.

And you…you nodded.

It seemed like an eternity passed of him just staring. Gazing down at you. You couldn’t understand what he might be seeing or thinking or feeling. What might be going through that mind of his. Your friend.

“…what is it?” You asked quietly, surprisingly wary of the answer.

But the answer that came wasn’t a verbal one. Not as Lucien’s eyes gripped yours.

And then he was dipping his head just a little, his breath fanning your face. He swallowed again—

And then his lips were sliding over yours. Soft. Gentle. Slow. Not a bruising, needy kiss, but a kiss that was for…for feeling. For experiencing.

It reminded you of the kiss Linden had given you when you’d asked him to show you passion and intimacy. One that was light and exploring, barely-there and yet entirely consuming all at once.

And you were powerless to it.

You’d just threaded your fingers through Lucien’s hair when he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

“You are so not what I expected.” He murmured, and then he kissed you again.

There was more fervour in it this time. More need. His hands fell to your waist, tugging you up and against him, and his tongue brushed the seam of your mouth and slipped in the second you granted him entrance. You couldn’t help moaning against him as your hands explored him — the broad expanse of his shoulders, his back, his sides. This was absolutely not what friends did, and yet neither of you had the power to stop as your fingers inched around, grasping at the buttons on his breeches.

Lucien groaned as your hands brushed the hard evidence of his arousal through the fabric. He pulled away just slightly, pressing his forehead against yours, the words breathless as he bit out, “I want you.”

And you wanted — needed — him. On you and in you, touching you. You wanted the hair-raising pleasure that you knew damn well he delivered.

You wrapped your leg around his, pressing him against you, and another groan whooshed out of him that he smothered with a kiss.

There was nothing quick about what followed. It wasn’t like the burst of anger and passion that had existed in that little room at the inn. Neither of you sunk to your knees to prolong what happened.

But it was different. And it was evident to you almost as soon as both of you had shoved your breeches down, and Lucien was hiking your leg up and lining the head of his cock up with your entrance.

Different — in the way that his eyes stayed locked on yours as he pushed into you, your mouth falling open on a gasp. Different in the way that he cupped your jaw with his hand, and he leaned down to kiss you, just as he began to roll his hips.

His other hand secured on your waist, and every one of his thrusts was languid, indolent, unhurried. You’d learned from your previous escapades that the two of you were very vocal lovers, but each of your gasps and moans and groans were hushed, shared just between the two of you — and not consciously so. Not because you were aware of being so close to the manor, but because around your kisses and quickening breaths, the noises he usually would have drawn from deep within you took a backseat.

That familiar, pleasant warmth coiled tightly inside you, reacting to every touch. Every thrust. Every kiss. Because Lucien kept kissing you, over and over, huffing his breaths into your mouth.

His pace picked up, his hand sliding down to grab at your breast and then down further, further, until he was holding both of your hips and encouraging them to roll with his. The angle had him pressing into you deeper, and Lucien bit out a groan, rocking you on him and causing a delicious friction that licked through you like spreading flames.

“Y/N.” He ground out, gasping. “Holy gods—”

Your arms came up, hands splaying on his back and pressing him against you, and the intimacy was almost too much, almost had you looking away, but Lucien’s eyes commanded you to hold his as you gasped and writhed, the crescendo of sensations building and curling—

And then the flames snapped out, claiming you and Lucien both at the same time. Those last few thrusts of his hips were harder, faster, and he was staggering, pressing his hand to the wall to hold himself up as he slid his lips over yours once more, swallowing every one of your breathless moans and emptying his own into your mouth as he spilled inside you.

His body went still, and his mouth parted from yours — just for a split second. Just to take a breath. And then he was kissing you again. A trembling hand rested on the back of your neck, kneading the muscles there.

It seemed like ages before he was pulling out of you, the sensation in itself causing you to nip at his lip. He stepped back, pulling his breeches up — and pulling yours up, also. Refastening the buttons.

And then he just stared at you.

You waited — waited for him to say something quipping and brash. Friends you may now be, but you’d overstepped the mark again. Already. And he…he was bound to regret it. Bound to take it out on you.

But then he was reaching out. Brushing hair out your face. He leant down and pecked your lips once, quick, and pulled away. And it was…tender. Not like him.

You didn’t get it. And after such a positive day…you weren’t sure you wanted to wait around for his regret to eventually seep in, like it undoubtedly would.

You cleared your throat, pressing your hand against his chest. “I should…get to bed.”

Lucien studied you. Seemed to think, for a moment, before he nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you for today.”

“Thank you.”

You lingered a moment longer. And then you were stepping past him, trying to ignore the unsteadiness of your legs as you headed towards the door.

“…Sleep well.” Lucien said behind you.

You stopped in the doorway, glancing over your shoulder. Dipped your chin. “You, too.”

You weren’t entirely sure what had just transpired, in between you stepping into that crumbling building and now. But something had. Something was different. And it made you…panicked. Anxious.

One day — you’d been friends for one day, and you’d already fucked it up. And you didn’t regret it, but…

But as you headed into the manor and up to your room, you weren’t stupid enough to believe that Lucien wouldn’t, either. Like he had before.

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Lucien stayed standing a while after she’d walked out, a heaviness in her shoulders that had been absent all day.

And then he’d collapsed into the chair in the corner, scrubbing a hand over his face. His lips still tingled from her touch, her taste. He wanted all of it back. All over him.

And he knew — fucking knew what she’d been thinking when she’d hurried out of here. And he couldn’t blame her for thinking it, either.

Because Lucien had been awful to her, hadn’t he? He’d made her feel like a fleeting moment, a regret, all the previous times he’d been inside her. Especially the last time, at the inn. Why would she assume tonight to be any different?

It wasn’t just enough for him to say they were friends, now — not enough for him, and not enough for her. He needed to…to start treating her how he wanted to. How he’d wanted to for a while, now. How she deserved to be treated.

In a way that wasn’t appropriate for friends, but…friends be fucking damned.

He couldn’t allow her to feel like a mistake when she was the furthest thing from it.

And as he sat there, alone with his thoughts once more, her scent clinging to him, he knew there was no undoing what had changed.

He was on a path, now. And he needed — wanted — to follow it.

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You were trying your hardest, two days later, to will enthusiasm into your features as you followed Dion to the receiving room, your arm linked through his.

The fact that he kept shooting you concerned glances told you that he was dreading this meeting just as much as you were.

“You know,” you said. “You don’t need to keep looking at me like that.”

Dion turned his wary eyes onto you. “Like what?”

“Like you’re worried I’m going to get into a verbal sparring match with your father.”

“…Well — are you?”

“I told you, I’ll be on my best behaviour.” You paused, shooting him a wicked grin. “Just so long as he is.”

If you were speaking honestly, you’d have rather spent the morning boiling your own head than discussing the details and arrangements of your wedding with Beron, of all people. He never usually deigned to involve himself in such discussions, but as Dion had told you—

“My father’s trying to make an effort to show interest.” He said — not for the first time that hour. “We should do the same. And…”

You cocked an eyebrow. “And?”

“Well, he wasn’t best pleased when you disappeared for an entire day to aid Lucien in his errands.” He opened the patio door for you, stepping aside. “And without asking first.”

Your body went taut. “I was under the impression that I’m free to come and go from the estate as I please.”

The two of you were in the corridor, now, your voices seeming far louder. You took a step forward, but Dion pulled you to a stop.

“You are, Y/N, it’s just…” he sighed, pursing his lips. “It’s about perception. Reputation. Everything we do is. And for you to go running off with my brother for the day without informing anyone, when you’re marrying me—”

“I did inform you. I left a note.”

The way he stared at you was…exasperated. Like he was begging you not to be difficult, confrontational, when it came to this. Because there was so much pressure on him already, and you being brash and contrary didn’t make it any easier.

“Sorry.” You sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. In the future, I’ll…ask first.”

Even if it utterly pained you to consider doing so. To leave your independence in someone else’s hands.

You stepped forward once more, but Dion was stopping you again. You frowned over your shoulder at him.

“You and Lucien…” He said, and your entire body stiffened. “You’re getting along much better now.”

It wasn’t a question. A statement. One you weren’t sure why he was making.

“…We are…” you replied, pleading that your face revealed nothing. “Turns out he’s pretty alright when he’s not brooding.”

Dion continued to stare at you. Study you. Like…like he was searching for something in your expression. What, you weren’t sure.

But then he smiled. Relaxed his shoulders.

“Good.” He said. “That’s good.”

He brushed past you, pulling you with him, and you were left with no choice but to follow as the door at the end of the hall opened, and Barric beckoned you in.

But as you stared at the back of Dion’s head, you couldn’t help wonder what the fuck he was thinking.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Two hours.

Two godsdamned hours of poring over wedding details you didn’t give a single glimmering fuck about.

Your head pounded. So did Dion’s, beside you, going by the drawn look on his face. Barric looked just as bored at the table, and the Lady of Autumn was on what seemed to be her eighth or ninth cup of tea.

Not to mention the various reputable business owners that had been invited to showcase their products. Food and decorations and floral displays you might use at the wedding. Not that they’d had much success pitching what they offered. Every one of you would rather be anywhere else in that moment.

But Beron Vanserra fucking loved this. Listening to himself talk. Feeling in charge. He’d barely let anyone else get a word in edgeways.

Your patience was wearing thin. That softly-dangerous way that he spoke was beginning to grate on you.

You slumped back in your chair in a most unladylike way, exhaling a deep breath. His eyes flicked to yours, a cold scrape of claws on your skin. If nothing else, it kept you alert enough not to doze off in your seat.

“So anyway,” he leaned forward, clasping his hands together on the table. “What I’m saying is that this wedding is more than a mere joining of two families. It has to be a ceremony fit for a potential High Lord. Dion is my spare, after all. If something were to happen to myself and Eris, he’d assume the role.”

Spare. The word had your lip curling, no matter how much Dion had probably been beaten over the head with it. If nobody else saw the slight tensing of his shoulders, you certainly did. You pushed your leg against his beneath the table; as close to a subtle comforting gesture as you could get.

Beron’s eyes turned onto you. “It’s not going to be some quick, fleeting nuptials in a temple with no audience. It’s a wedding, yes, but it doubles as a statement. That Dion can deliver to the people. That he can put on a wedding fit for a High Lord. People like to feel important, to feel involved in all the pomp and circumstance.” His lip, also, looked like it wanted to curl, but he kept a mild expression on his face as he said, with false humour, “No matter how much you may wish for a backstreet ceremony in a tatty pair of breeches, Y/N.”

The dig had various titters and chortles breaking out around the table. And you knew — knew that to anyone else, it would appear as your future father-in-law fondly poking fun at you. But it wasn’t. It was a jab dripping with distaste. Disapproval.

And you were fully aware of all the information he thought he was bestowing upon you. You were no fool. To be treated as such didn’t exactly ease your tension.

“So.” The High Lord continued. “I’ve gathered here the absolute best people for the job. Bakers and caterers and florists and musicians who have done countless Vanserra weddings—”

“Actually.”

Every head in the room turned to you as you spoke. There was no mistaking the way Dion stiffened beside you. The way Beron’s eyes flashed with ire at the mere sound of your voice. And that you’d had the audacity to speak.

“With the greatest of respect,” you plastered a smile onto your face. “I was thinking we might use smaller businesses for the wedding.”

The expression on Dion’s face would have been comical if not for the thick tension that clouded the air. His eyes were wide, lips slightly parted, and the words he didn’t speak were abundantly clear: what the fuck are you doing?

Beron pursed his lips, clearly trying to rein in his tempter. “What.”

And gods, you knew you were playing a dangerous game, fucking poking an already extremely grizzly bear. But you couldn’t help yourself. Couldn’t stop yourself from putting on as much of a show as the High Lord himself had, as you clasped your hand over Dion’s on the table. Smiled at him like any adoring bride would.

“It’s just…” Your voice was sickeningly sweet. “When I aided Lucien with his errands the other day, I saw so many brilliant, growing businesses in the little villages we passed through. There are excellent merchants all across this court that we aren’t even aware of because they hail from the less wealthy villages. But they work hard and have just as much potential. What better way to showcase their work and bring them new custom than at our wedding?”

Silence snaked around the table. And you smiled in the face of it, even as you noticed Beron’s jaw tighten. Even as Dion shifted in his seat. You squeezed his hand.

“Uh…” was all he said.

“Out of the question.” Beron stared at you. “We have traditions. Businesses we remain loyal to—”

“And I have the utmost respect for you all.” You turned your gaze on the merchants sitting around the table. “But once upon a time, your businesses would have needed the leg-up that we could offer to these smaller ones. Businesses that would be overlooked, simply because of where they are. Isn’t it right to give them the chance—”

“It’s a wedding. Not a charity case.” The High Lord’s tone tightened, and you knew — he was seconds from exploding, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. “And considering it is my coin that is paying for the whole affair, I will choose who supplies for the event. You just need to focus on being the beautiful, blushing bride.”

You stared at him. He stared back.

There was no room for argument — not then, anyway. And Dion made that clear by the way he tightly gripped your hand.

The Lady of Autumn looked like she was going to faint beside Beron as he inclined his head at his guests.

“I do apologise for the bride’s insolence.” He quirked a distasteful smile. “We are…steadily righting some of the wrongs impressed upon her from her upbringing. Too much freedom is bad for a female, no?”

Another chorus of titters broke out. Dion’s hand clamped down on yours — a warning. To sit back. To keep your mouth shut.

“I doubt we’ll be needing you for any more of the discussions.” Beron waved a hand at the two of you. “You’re both dismissed.”

You wanted to stay rooted to the spot; just to be defiant. But Dion stood up without hesitation, yanking you to your feet with him.

“Thank you for your time.” He said, bowing his head. “It’s greatly appreciated.”

You didn’t acknowledge the sentiment. Didn’t even nod. Your eyes merely locked with Beron’s, so many unspoken words lingering in the air.

And then Dion was pulling you towards the door. Out of the room.

Only when you were in the hall did he let go of your hand and release a breath that he seemed to have been holding for the past two hours. And then he stalked towards the doors without sparing you a glance.

“Dion.” You sighed, following.

But he merely held a hand up.

He didn’t look back as he bit out, “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

And then he was storming away from you.

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Maybe you’d pushed it a tad too far.

You hadn’t meant to. And you weren’t sorry for challenging Beron, High Lord or no. You didn’t regret speaking your mind.

You did regret how much it had obviously bothered Dion, though. Going by the way he’d avoided you for the rest of the day.

The last thing you wanted was to cause him any grief. And you weren’t too proud to apologise for doing so. Especially with how much of a support he’d been for you since you’d arrived here.

So after taking your supper alone late that night, you went in search of him. It turned out he could be as elusive as Lucien when he didn’t want to be found.

You looked all over the manor, in the places he could usually be found — the games room or the tea room, the library and the general study. You’d even knocked on his bedroom door…and received no response.

So perhaps he was favouring the fresh air for a change. You were just heading back downstairs, intending to check the gardens, when a strange awareness settled over you.

The wing you wandered through was empty — as it normally was this time of night. And yet it was like walking with a hand poised on your shoulder, a figure at your back. You turned into the dim-lit corridor that had one door that opened out into library, another that led outside—

It was so suddenly that clipped footsteps rushed you from behind, there was barely a chance to glance over you shoulder as a hand snaked over your mouth, and you were yanked backwards against a hard body.

Your attempt to scream got caught in your throat as you were dragged back, back through a door, your feet barely keeping you upright. Linden would tell you not to panic, that panicking would mean it was over for you before you had a chance to fight. You clawed at the hand covering your mouth, your nose.

You hoped it was Eris playing a prank, or even Lucien dragging you in here for some fleeting passion, but the scent that filled your nose was one of musk and too-strong aftershave—

Beron.

The High Lord kicked the library door shut behind him. Locked it. All while he still held you in an ironclad grip. And then his hand was moving from your mouth.

You sucked in a deep breath, but it was short-lived as his fingers grabbed the back of your neck, pressing against your skin. And then he was marching you backwards…slamming you so hard against a bookcase, it winded you and unsettled the large, heavy tomes it housed.

You coughed, gasping and clawing for the breath that had been stolen from you. Beron slammed you back a second time, and then his hands were pressed either side of your face, his lips pulled back in a sneer as he glared down at you.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing at.” He snarled, his voice pure ice. “But it stops. Now.”

You couldn’t respond. Couldn’t even think over the desperate need to suck in air. You clutched your abdomen, trying to straighten yourself out. Pain splintered through you.

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” Beron’s hand moved to your throat, his fingers lightly brushing the delicate, soft skin there. He watched his own movements like a predator sizing up its prey. “You think you’re so much more than a spoiled little girl.”

“And what are you?” You managed to choke. “You can parade your title all you like. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re a vicious, violent—”

The fierce flash in his eyes completely solidified your point. His fingers coasted the area, gentle enough to leave no physical indication that they were ever there, and he stared down at you, his eyes whirring with a million cunning thoughts.

And then he smiled. Or smirked. Or…something. You didn’t think Beron Vanserra was capable of smiling, but…the corners of his mouth twitched up, and his fingers began to crawl downwards.

“Did I not tell you,” he hummed, toying with the top button at the bust of your dress, “that you were already on thin ice?”

“Something like that.” Your eyes tracked his hand, your body tensing as he twisted the button absentmindedly. “I fail to see what I’ve done that would further weaken said thin ice. I merely voiced a suggestion—”

“You undermined me in front of my subjects. I will not be undermined. Even if it means I have to use my own time to teach bratty little whores a lesson.”

You swallowed, still watching as his hand lingered at your cleavage. Just a shudder of relief seeped through you as it moved back upwards.

But then he was grabbing you by the hair, yanking your head back so it hit the bookcase with a resounding smack.

“Perhaps I should write to your father and inform him of your endeavours. I’m sure he’d be mighty interested to learn what his daughter gets up to. He is my friend, after all. Seems only right that I should share my concerns.” He pulled harder, and tears burned the backs of your eyes. “He should know his daughter is disappointing him. Perhaps he’ll advise me on an appropriate punishment to dole out.”

Your lip curled, and you tried to move away, to get him to release his hold. But it only made him close in further against you, his body brushing yours.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t do that, Y/N.” He cocked his head. “Why shouldn’t I tell your parents what a fucking embarrassment you are to them?.”

You knew what you should do. That you should apologise, beg for his forgiveness. Promise to be on your best behaviour. And your brain urged your mouth to say that, pleaded with it to.

But you opened your mouth, your lip inching up. And that was not what came out.

“Because if you do such a thing,” you sneered, “I may have to let slip about your own poor behaviours. So unbecoming, High Lord, to pervertedly ogle your future daughter-in-law’s tits from across the room, is it not? And how do you know I won’t accidentally slip up to somebody about that Faebane-imbued fire at the hamlet? I hear you have an arrogantly big cache of the stuff—”

You heard the slap before you felt it. The sound echoed through the room. A smack so hard, your neck clicked, and you bit into your cheek. The metallic taste of blood bloomed in your mouth.

“I’m warning you, girl.” Beron growled, his voice deeper, more guttural. “Do not cross me.”

And then he was shoving you back against the bookcase one last time. And letting go. Your legs gave out beneath you as he turned and strode to the door, as casually as though you’d been talking about the weather in here.

He didn’t say another word. Didn’t look back. He was nothing but a mere shadow as he slipped out of the room, his footsteps fading as he disappeared.

And you…you trembled all over. Felt like your heart was going to trip over itself.

Tears pricked your eyes, and you wiped them away furiously, flinching at the stinging of your cheek.

“Don’t cry.” You hissed at yourself furiously. “Do not cry.”

It took a few moments to compose yourself — but you did. You caught your breath, easing yourself back to your feet. The soreness of your back was no doubt indication of a bruise forming there.

On weak legs, you tread towards the door, steadying yourself on various pieces of furniture as you went.

Once again, your godsdamned mouth had landed you in hot water.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･

The responsible thing would have been to retire to bed and keep your head down until the tension blew over. Until the High Lord found something else to grouse about.

But you opted for walking — or, rather, limping — and trying to leach the tension from yourself with the help of fresh air.

And with the help of the whiskey you’d snagged from the games room.

The latter certainly did the trick. After a while, you barely noticed the pain in your body or the cold bite of the air. You wandered the grounds, drinking straight from the bottle, not caring who you came across and what they may have thought.

Perhaps your behaviour was deliberate. Maybe…maybe you were still looking for an out, still hoping for Beron to send you home.

But he wouldn’t. You knew he wouldn’t. Not after that little hint of a threat you’d dropped tonight. You knew he’d been behind that fire, and now, he knew that you knew. He’d want to keep you where he could see you.

He wouldn’t act — at least not until he came up with a solid plan that would work in his favour.

As you walked and drank, the moon bearing down on you, you couldn’t help wondering why you were like this. Why you’d always been like this. Why you had to be so…outspoken and confrontational and brash. You were here with a duty, with people counting on you, and yet you still couldn’t stop yourself from being so…you.

It was no wonder, really, that Dion would rather have Willow than you.

That Lucien would rather fuck you than know you.

Lucien. His name was a constant claxon in your head. Everything you thought and felt seemed to end up right back at him.

You’d even crossed the grounds without realising it, stopping just outside the little stone building you’d taken each other in two nights earlier.

He might not even be in there, but it didn’t stop you slumping drunkenly against the door, the wood creaking beneath you.

“Lucien.” You called, a giggle bubbling up your throat. You tapped a nail against the wood. “Loo-shun.”

A vague noise came from inside, the sound of a key being turned, and then the door was wrenched open.

You immediately went toppling down to his feet. His hands caught you before your body could slam against the ground, and he blinked.

“Whoopsy.” You laughed harder. “Looks like I just fell for you.”

“…Are you drunk?” He studied you as you turned in his arms — glimpsed the bottle that was grasped loosely in your hand. “Fuck.”

Suddenly, you were being gently dragged inside. Lucien held you upright with ease as he shut and locked the door behind you. None of it was at all like the threatening, malicious encounter with Beron.

His hold on you was both soft and firm as he turned to face you. And then he studied you, frowning.

“Do you like my dress?” You tried to twirl on the spot, stumbling into a small table. “Dion made me wear it to the meeting.”

Lucien just…watched you. There was no ire or distaste on his face or in his eyes. And even through your inebriation, you thought…thought it looked like something akin to concern.

“Y/N.” He took a step towards you. “What…why are you drunk?”

“Because I drank alcohol.” You thrust the bottle towards him. “Want some? We can make it a party.”

“I think I’ll pass.” Still, he prised the bottle out of your hand. And then turned, placing it atop of a cabinet — far out of your reach.

You pouted up at him. “Bor-ing.”

“Y/N.” His voice was firmer, now — commanding. “What the hell has happened to get you in this state?”

You stopped, staring up at him. You didn’t want to be asked questions like that, didn’t want him to…to get to you. To try to reach you.

You stepped towards him to do…something. Kiss him, maybe. But both his hands clasped your arms in the most heartbreakingly gentle way, stopping you. Russet eyes stared down at you intensely.

“Tell me.” He murmured, his thumbs beginning to make gentle sweeps across your skin.

You held his gaze. And you…you thought you may just cry. You begged yourself not to as you shrugged, attempting to seem indifferent.

“I figured I’m gonna disappoint everybody anyway.” You croaked. “Might as well have fun doing it.”

His brow furrowed, and you loathed the pity in his eyes. You didn’t want to face it — couldn’t. You turned away.

But his hand slid down to yours, gripping it. “What’re you talking about?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me.”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“It matters, Y/N.” He snapped. “You matter.”

Your entire body went still, your mind emptying out. You didn’t want to think, to talk. Didn’t want to matter. Not right then.

A sudden, heavy tiredness weighed on you, and you frowned, easing your hand out of his. He let you go, watching you carefully as you dragged your feet over to the chair and slumped down. Even the alcohol couldn’t mask the ache in your lower back as you did.

Lucien immediately caught the way you flinched. He frowned. “Are you in pain?”

“No.” You lied. “Just tired.”

He stared. And it was so, so clear that he didn’t believe you. But he didn’t push. “You should probably sleep this off.”

You lifted your head. “In here?”

“…do you want to stay in here?”

It wasn’t much of a place to sleep — just a ratty old armchair for you to curl up in and a blanket that probably wouldn’t keep you all that warm. But none of those things seemed to matter, because…

Because Lucien was here. And that was what you’d come looking for. For him to just…be there.

Why you’d so naturally sought him out, above everyone else, wasn’t something to think about right then.

You buried your head against your forearm, merely peeking up at him as you murmured. “I wanna stay with you.”

He was still for a moment, staring at you. And you could have sworn his cheeks slightly pinkened.

And he nodded. “Then we’ll stay.”

You felt…safe, in there. In that tiny little outbuilding. Safe, despite the monster that was across the green. Warm, despite the cold.

And you felt even warmer, inside, as Lucien approached you. As he pulled a blanket from the back of the chair and draped it over you. There was a pause, and then he…then he leaned down, kissing the top of your head.

“You should sleep.” He said again, brushing your hair back.

“You won’t leave, right?”

“I won’t leave.” He perched himself down beside the chair. “I’m right here. You can close your eyes.”

You did. But a moment later, they were opening again. “You didn’t answer my question. Do you like my dress?”

Lucien studied your face.. “I do.” He said. “Very much.”

You smiled. Closed your eyes once more.

And opened them again. “Will you read to me?”

He blinked. “What?”

“There are some books in here.” You pointed. “You like to read. Will you read to me?”

“…do you promise to go to sleep if I do?”

You released a comically dramatic sigh. “Yes, Lucien, I promise.”

He didn’t laugh or roll his eyes or smirk. He simply stared at you. And his voice was quiet, gentle, as he said, “I love it when you say my name.”

You were too drunk to know what that meant. It was all you could do to grin, tipping your head back and telling him, “I like your name.”

Which you absolutely did, intoxicated or not.

He gazed at you a moment longer. And then he was pushing to his feet, striding over to the sparsely-stocked bookshelf against the wall. You watched from the chair, your eyes tracking his firm, muscled legs through his breeches, his hips—

He turned, a book in his hands, his eyes finding yours. And he cocked an eyebrow. “What’re you staring at?”

“Nothing.” You beckoned him. “Come on. Read to me.”

“So bossy, lady.”

But he strode back over. Reclaimed the space he’d been in moments before. You rested your head on the arm of the chair, gazing at him. And with the stunning flash of his hair, the serene sight of him tucking his legs beneath him and cracking open the book, your eyes were already growing heavy.

And that was how you drifted asleep to the lilting caress of his voice.

And as exhaustion dragged you under, the last thing you glimpsed was the book’s cover.

Poems and Sonnets Volume II.

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