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etherealdiva · 2 years

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Astro Observations: Solar Returns

Source: Predictive Astrology the eagle and the lark by Bernadette Brady

Aspect Edition: 2022

☀️Neptune- ascendant: changing your personality from how you’re seen from the outside perspective. This happens usually by an unfortunate event or when traveling to escape. Ending the image that you present to the world.

-how it manifested for me: my mom passed away this year and I feel I lost my identity and am just dissolving my upbeat positive personality that everyone saw me as happy go lucky. I feel my humor is darker and I just resonate more with despair and darkness even though in general I’m still a positive person. It’s like life is whooping my ass but I’m still smiling lol.

☀️Neptune- sun: confused about your role in life, wanting to escape and travel.

- how it manifested for me: I feel absolutely lost in life because of everything I’ve lost this year (my full time job as well) and I had identified myself as that role. I’m sometimes conflicted with my role in the astrology world as well. Anything in the esoteric because I feel I’m living a life in the 3D and then another life somewhere else (online actually). I don’t feel I fit in anywhere with people but I can mesh well with others. Also, I’m dying to travel and start a new life. I wanna travel internationally.

☀️Uranus- MC: expect a sudden change in your job/career and your social status. For better or worse.

- how it manifested for me: my company laid me and 109 employees off 🙃 I guess I’m not suppose to be there 😅

☀️Saturn- Uranus: frustrated because achieving your goals is a slow progress.

- how it manifested for me: I’m so impatient cause it feels like everything is so damn slow. I have goals I wanna reach but it feels like I have to work even harder. Normally with my fitness goals I’ve had great luck and maybe it’s because I’m not as strict as I was before. I still think for the most part I look good with my body but I was at my fittest in 2019. I was also frustrated cause I worked hard and I wanted a raise and then we all got laid off so now I gotta start over.

☀️Saturn- moon: feeling of loneliness and wanting to isolate. Feeling like no one supports you.

- how it manifested for me: I moved to another state all by myself. Despite it being a busy and social city, I felt alone and wanting to isolate myself. I felt like I met people but couldn’t make connections 🥲

☀️Saturn- ascendant: being seen as more responsible and mature. Being as an authority.

- How it manifested for me: despite my Leo rising mannerisms and how I get along very well the youngins, I feel my piscean old soul def came out more. Also much more responsible especially since I lived on my own.

☀️Uranus- moon: events occurring so fast that you don’t have time to process them or react. Being free of your emotions.

- How it manifested for me: so much happened this year that I don’t think I processed my moms death, losing my job, being dumped and also moving away. I know it happened but like I think I reacted for a bit and then moved on to distract. I’m in therapy which is nice but yeah. Also could be that my moon is in Taurus in the 12th house so I feel much more emotionally stable but also repressed cause I still don’t believe it or I do but I’m like idk…it happened?? Weird?? I’m dreaming right?

☀️Uranus- sun: wanting to be free and re-classify yourself

- how it manifested for me: literally moved away because I felt trapped at home. I was more open about my love for astrology in my new city than I am in my hometown.

☀️Neptune- North Node: finding your spiritual path and a group/your “tribe” that’s in the category of the healing arts and esoteric. Diving into the metaphysical which pushes forward the person into a new life direction

- how it manifested for me: met you all in the Astro tumblr community 🥹🥺❤️ also dug deeper into astrology! I’ve studied it since 2018 but I went 💯 on it this gear. I also have a 9th house stellium in Aquarius in my SR.

☀️Pluto-Venus: intense fated connection with an intimate relationship or an emotional ending of one.

Note: Pluto represents mother figures and family members and people connected with death & dying.

- how it manifested for me: I did meet a man and he has a Gemini rising and Taurus moon in the 12th in his natal. My SR is Gemini rising and Taurus moon in the 12th. He impacted me greatly and how I viewed men. He was great and I’m grateful for him 💛

2021: significant events

☀️Neptune- Venus: illusions in romantic relationships. Love life could be wonderful or will leave you to deal with the harsh truth after it’s ended. Could possibly be conned.

- how it manifested for me: met a guy who is an Aquarius rising (my ascendant sign was Aquarius that year also) and when we dated I felt happy when being with him. But he ghosted (then he came back again and ghosted again) and I had to face the harsh reality of that. I’m sadly still recovering but I’ve made a lot of healing progress! I just know better now.

☀️Uranus- ascendant: changes to a persons life such as name and physical body. A huge drive for change/freedom.

- how it manifested for me: I got cosmetic surgery 😅 but I love it 🥰

I love astrology 💛 enjoy!

#astrology #astrology tumblr #astrology notes #astro community #zodiac #astrology observations #astrology101 #astro #astrologer #solar return #solar return placements #aspects in astrology #astrological aspects

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urbanflorals · 2 months

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from dis !!! (no pressure ofc <3) 4, 12, 42, 29 ??

hehehe ily <33

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? hmm i wanna say smart? or driven? idk rlly lol. I was classified as the smart kid tho so yeah i guess smart.

12. name of your favorite playlist? i have two that i play non-stop on apple music and i can't rlly choose between them lol so: A mix of nearly every song I play and: For when my other playlist is too long. REALLY creative aren't they??

29. best way to bond with you? rant with me about books lol, or just find something we both have in common and make up pointless jokes.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets. yeah so much easier than trying to stuff thing (my hands) into the small pants pockets

#ems asks #mare bear <3

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moliathh · 7 days

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Ppl will bitch about how Alutegra shippers only ship them bc "oh they don't know how they met lol" as if it wasn't the first fucking thing we saw in the manga and Ultimate

I do think Alucard x Integra is not a canon ship because (classifying them into only one type of relationship) that would strip their relationship off opportunities to be interpreted by fans in a variety of ways (which probably was Hirano Kohtah's intention too since the ending was quite open and he didn't intend for a sequel or addressing the "after that") but it is baffling to completely deny the implication of romance because as I said "open to interpretation" INCLUDING romantic route. Besides that, it's lowkey rude to just assume every alucard x integra shippers are "new" fans, I have seen fanworks older than me. The least we could do is respect our predecessors. And let's not assume other people's interpretation as "mischaracterization" because Alucard and Integra relationship have several points where you can interpret as "romantic" or at least "sexual". And I don't even want to mention that the whole point of shipping is delulu, if you think Alucard x Integra is a stretch therefore "unshippable", you might as well treat every of other ship with the same attitude since besides Pip and Seras, none of Hellsing ships are canon??? And talking about canon couples, Mina Harker is married to Jonathan Harker, it is vague in Hellsing but in the novel she did not have a romance with Dracula, while in the Coppola's movie adaptation, she did have a sorts of romance with him? idk how far was it was hypnosis or romance but to each with their own interpretation i guess? And while we are at it, in that movie adaptation Mina Harker was a reincarnation of Vlad's wife, and they signified it by using colour coding, specifically speaking was dressing her (Mina Harker and Vlad Tepes's wife) in green (This motif had been incorporated into various of later adaptation like BBC Dracula or stageplays). Now who in Hellsing wears dominantly green? Wasnt that Integra? It is clearly a delusional stretch but that's the whole point of shipping?

#not liking a ship #yes #but completely denied the possibility of romantic interpretation?#i hate to pull this card but #you also ship a non-canon ship #oh my dear friend #we are brother sister sibling and everything in between #just pure delusional

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seriousbrat · 18 days

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hi this may be long so sorry in advance but

i always loved hp and when i got into the marauders i started caring about sirius, remus, and james more (peter hater till i die unfortunately i can’t get behind him) and like every marauders stan i despised despised severus, i thought that since he was in a known death eaters friend group and called muggle borns mudblood he was unredeemable. but then i saw more and more pro snape content and it made me feel bad for him, james bullied him (which i’m still not even sure if it was classified as bullying because james didnt have any power over him and it wasn’t even 1 vs 4 it was 1 vs 2 so i’d like to know your opinion on that as well) and he had an abusive parent, but then i saw snily shippers (i am a major jily shipper fyi) saying how james basically manipulated lily into marrying him by not telling her he still bullied snape, how the prank was the best thing to happen to james because their “fights” wouldn’t be seen as bullying but as a teen rivalry, how james was the rich boy who got everything he wanted and he got the poor girl as well, how it was him constantly asking lily out and her always saying no etcc, so ik this may sound stupid but i love ur takes like ur always sooooo fucking real so if u want to share your opinions on these like if u think any of these things are wrong 🙈 id be glad bc i dont know how to feel about severus and idk how to feel about jily either which is just making my small world inside of my head crumble bc i used to love them so much

Of course and thank you! First of all as I've been saying I don't think it's necessary or even really a good idea for us to base our preferences or interests in fiction with our moral beliefs. so we can accept that snape or james did bad things and still like them. Fiction gives us that freedom to delve into aspects of humanity that in real life we might try to avoid. So I don't think you should feel bad for liking james or severus or jily or whatever. Ok, that being said let's get into it:

First it's normal to feel sympathy for Severus, he's a sympathetic character in many respects! That's what makes a good anti-hero (or even villain. we're even supposed to feel sympathy for voldemort and barty crouch jr at certain points)

what james and the marauders did was definitely bullying. there's no way around that. you say james didn't have any power over him but he did; social power. You touched on economic class, which is a big factor, but James was a popular student and Sev was deeply unpopular. whether it was 1v4 or 1v2 or 1v1 doesn't really matter in terms of whether it was bullying, though tbh it was really 1vthe whole school because the spectators also participated in Sev's humiliation.

However, in my mind there's almost no way that Snape wasn't instigating just as much, possibly more, in seventh year. Like you think he was just going to sit around and accept that his worst enemy was dating Lily? lol. I tend to believe Sirius when he says that Sev "never lost an opportunity to curse James" like good for him get his ass. But I think it was definitely a different dynamic in 7th year than in 5th. there's this tendency to portray Sev as being a meek little helpless victim his whole life but personally I feel that's a disservice to his character-- this is the guy who invented sectumsempra 'for enemies' like three guesses who 'enemies' was.

re: jily, I really doubt that James manipulated Lily into anything, I think that's such an overdramatic reading lol. We don't know much about the way they got together-- although many fic writers have taken it upon themselves to fill in the gaps-- but everything points to them having been happy and in love, that clearly was the intention by the author. If James didn't tell her about duelling Snape that isn't great, but there are a lot of things that can be imperfect in a relationship without jumping to manipulation and abuse which require a specific pattern of behaviour that we have no evidence for. We also only have the external perspective of Sirius and Remus, which is likely incomplete.

(also James 'always asking Lily out' is fanon, we see him ask her out ONCE albeit spectacularly badly. it seems more likely to me that lily 'you make me SICK' evans simply saw james grow into someone she rly liked rather than gave in and gave in so fully that she married him bcause he was pressuring her. idk she didn't read like a pushover to me.)

So no need for world crumblage! It doesn't sound stupid at all, but I think it's important to keep in mind that we can enjoy fictional characters/relationships that aren't perfect, in fact those are the ones that I find more enjoyable. It's totally possible to be a fan of snape and james and jily and snily all at the same time, fandom tends to create conflicts or 'shipping wars' or whatever lol but idk if that's necessary. I don't see it as a moral debate or an either/or, I just find all the characters and the dynamics between them interesting.

For instance, you mentioned the class differences between Lily and James, and I always thought that was probably a point of contention in the relationship; but to me it's one that makes it more compelling to explore. Relationships irl are rarely perfect and evenly-matched from the start, they take work. Similarly people are never perfect- they learn and change and grow. James did, Snape definitely did. otherwise they would be boring and unrealistic as characters.

#ANYWAY the point is that its fine. haha. like what u like u dont need to justify it. to urself or to anyone #very long answer haha but it was a long ask to be fair!#i have a few more asks that i'm going through rn. so if you've sent something sorry for the delay!#jily #meta #replies

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citrusinicake · 8 months

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snowsancuary evidence collection

some of these may not be as significant as the rest but whatever

warning for mild horror, mentions/implications of stalking, and scopophobia

header: link (can get a copy by replacing edit with copy)

header with brightness, saturation, and contrast turned up, doesn't seem like anything's hidden but maybe i did it wrong idk

actual doc has a prose in playfair display font that i will call the mesite poem, it has generally proper punctation with the exception of a few misspellings which im guessing are not intentional (unless they are?), strangely placed commas which im not sure are intentional or not (i dont read poems idk how they work lol), and a few strangely capitalized letters: R U E T H E D A Y M E S I T E (RUE THE DAY MESITE)

it references a few things from the castle arc such as a snow abode which is later referred to as a cage (zam's base, his safe space later turning into a hostile one), the bird singing to those it should not (zam talking and teaming with ppl dualityduo dont approve of or even actively hostile towards), the bird going out to eat bugs and worms then hiding in the dark (the eating is possibly(?) a reference to zam only ever killing ppl when he needs to/when he thinks theyre evil and then hiding away in his base for the rest of the time), the dog lifting the bird with its two bruised hands to its heart (could be a reference to ro and mapicc and team awesome but maybe im reaching), a feeling of freedom and confidence due to being flightless and therefore disadvantaged and having nothing to lose (zam losing like 14 hearts or something), the bird that starts fearing the dog that stalks outside its cage (mapicc literally stalking zam in mc and zam slowly getting increasingly paranoid each time)

it also specifically mentions the 30th (i didnt watch the streams and havent caught up with the vods yet so idk if thats referencing anything) amd a red house on the street

mesite according to wikipedia (made the interesting parts bold):

"The mesites (Mesitornithidae) are a family of birds that are part of a clade (Columbimorphae) that include Columbiformes and Pterocliformes. They are smallish flightless or near flightless birds endemic to Madagascar. They are the only family with more than two species in which every species is threatened (all three are listed as vulnerable).

"The mesites are forest and scrubland birds that feed on insects and seeds; brown and white-breasted mesites forage on the ground, gleaning insects from underneath leaves as well as low vegetation. The subdesert mesite uses its long bill to probe in the soil. Other birds, such as drongos and flycatchers, will follow mesites to catch any insects they flush out or miss. Mesites are vocal birds, with calls similar to a passerine song, used for territorial defence. Two or three white eggs are laid in a stick-built nest located in a bush or on a low branch. The Mesitornis species are monogamous while Monias benschi is polygamous and, unlike the other two, shows significant sexual dichromatism.

"Historically, mesites’ phylogenetic relationships were not very clear; they have been allied with the Gruiformes, Turniciformes and Columbiformes. Recent phylogenomic studies support Pterocliformes (sandgrouse) as the sister group of mesites while some more recent studies place this clade with another clade constituted of Columbiformes and Cuculiformes (cuckoos)."

mesite according to rankred.com:

"Brown Mesite is a flightless bird species found only in Madagascar’s humid evergreen forests. The Brown Mesite is classified as a vulnerable species. Due to its preference to remain in low altitude regions of the forest, where dogs and other common predators are widespread, they are an easy target to prey upon. Loss of habitat is also a major factor for their declining population."

bio: binary code

[01001111 01100011 01110100 01101111 01100010 01100101 01110010] translates to [october]

log 24: weird smiley

the fact that this is the first log implies that the first 23 logs were writtenon the walls which i would honestly like to see

log 25: morse code

[- …. . .-. . … / … --- -- . - …. .. -. --. / -- .. … … .. -. --.] translates to [theres something missing]

the tag before it says [i cant put my finger on it.], idk if tag order was intentional or not, probs doesnt matter either way lol

log 27: cheating scandal

idk just thought it was something to take note of for later

log 28: crown

the only log so far with the crown symbol

could just be because of the competition

log 29: only one with 1 dot at the title rather than 2

milk post: red, first evidence of stalking

log 31: binary code

leads to this link which leads to this picture (poated for those who cant access it):

original vs edited

no idea what the text behind says, interesting that this is specifically on the log that mentions getting robbed and "him"

to watch post: purple, idk theres just something weird about it

the fact its not a log and the fact that zam seems irritated in the drawing means theres a non-zero cahmce he didnt write it

#snowsancuary #did this instead of my homework lol #i wonder if something will happen on october 30th lol #interesting that the poem is specifically in playfair display

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goldensunset · 2 months

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i’m not about to draw a minimum of twelve entire pictures but i wanna do this anyway (i guess i could just edit the images in there but that’s lame lol)

•my favorite gym leader is probably either tulip or clay! something about tulip i just always found very endearing and respectable and i love clay’s no-nonsense attitude and sheer strength. plus he gets bonus points for his daughter being lacey

•fav champion is clearly volo. like how could you not classify that as a champion fight. that was so freaking hard man. runner up goes to kieran though bc he was also really hard for me. but of course if we’re talking official true pokémon league champions then cynthia

•fav elite four member has gotta be lacey. i adore her. first time i’ve ever lost to the same opponent multiple times in a fair fight (aka being prepared and on-level). she’s sooo cute and fun! she also terrifies me severely

•favorite protagonist is akari no surprise there. la does such a good job of making it clearly important why the protag is the protag. it offers a legitimate in-universe explanation as to why this one child in particular is so much more powerful than all the others. out of place in time and space, literally chosen by a god… the way certain characters question her humanity, both in a good and evil way… it’s so good

•favorite rival… well pokémon fans use the term rival really loosely. it can mean any friend character that you battle for funsies even once. it can mean literal arch nemesis. idk. arven stole my heart with his story but i don’t consider him a rival like most people do so that goes to cheren. i love his story and he has also mopped the floor with me several times

•favorite antagonist is also volo next question. i’m sick in the head about him. n is a strong and clear second place obviously though. i’ve done enough rambling on here about them

•professor laventon is the guy ever he feels like he actually personally cares about akari so much. that’s her dad. the way he’s actively involved in plot stuff, he accompanies the team on field missions even when he really doesn’t need to… he’s always there. you see him a lot. and he’s clearly writing the pokédex entries himself and they’re absolute gold. but seeing as professor is also a broad term because they’ve been really breaking up the older tradition in recent games, i nominate director clavell as second place bc i respect the guy a lot. that old man (tm) enjoyer here

•fav battle facility leader… well. i don’t really have one bc i’ve done very little with the battle facilities in the two games i’ve played that had them lol. so i guess throwaway answer is ingo but mostly for pla reasons. actually i think he counts as a battle facility leader in pla with the daybreak update and i’ve done some of his stuff so he does in fact count for me

•for fav clan member i’m gonna say arezu i like her a lot. she tried doing the right thing in a very chaotic way and i respect her for her efforts. plus her design is cute and she gives great haircuts and her noble is adorable

•character from other media… well i’m obsessed with the way n is portrayed in pokespe. perfect blend between sad prettyboy and freak behavior. they just made everything so intense. and i love oshawott from poképark 2 with the way he’s trying so hard to be serious and cool but snivy keeps getting on his nerves lol. that’s the reason i chose oshawott in pla bc that was the only of those pokémon i recognized

•i’m classifying arven as miscellaneous bc like i said i don’t consider him a rival but MAN!! man… this guy just got shortchanged so many times but i’m glad he was able to get closure for his parents’ disappearance and death and that he can move on and just live his own life. also certified dog lover moment

•top fav character… yeah you all know it’s volo LOL. completely shrimp fried my brain. the absolute hyperactive high i was on when he revealed himself. made even more insane bc i had literally been spoiled that he was a twist villain but i had no other context so i was just waiting the whole game for him to be evil. imagine the sinking in my gut when the credits rolled and it didn’t happen i thought i’d been embarrassing myself the whole time but then the postgame punched me in the gut HARD. i thought he’d end up being like the sad sympathetic frenemy guy where you don’t really want to fight him but NOPE full on evil full on he was just using you. made even better by the context that he had been your biggest fan throughout the whole game while everyone else had been suspicious of you. i lost my entire mind. once again second place to n though

#pokémon #legends arceus #bw #sv #dppt

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tezzbot · 5 months

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Hi Tezz Hiiii I wanted to ask, since you're the Team Chaotix expert: have any of the TC members gone super before? I think it'd be neat to give them super forms!

Hi Flan hiiii

To my knowledge they have not!! I would consider the Chaotix as more 'civillian' characters than 'hero' characters like how (I can't remember who said it it might have been Ian Flynn? lmk if I'm wrong lol) Cream has also been I guess classified as a civillian rather than hero, I feel like they're on the same sort of , ranking or whatever HJGFH

Not that I haven't thought about it though LOL

I think in super form it would be cool if Charmy grew like. another set of arms in super form, full bug moment lol, and I think his colouration would be similar to Shadow's in that the black fur (or fuzz whatever bees do idk) turns that sort of pale gold that Shadow gets, or maybe his yellow stripes have that and the black stays the same? Not sure lol

Espio, his back spines would maybe point upward to mimic what it does to the Hedgehogs' quills maybe he gets like those two extra horns that some fanartists give him, and I like the hc that he would turn sort of holographic like kind of silvery with the rainbowy-ness to it youknowwhatimean

I think you could do some cool things with the spines on Vector's back as well, maybe those get longer or more of em? I'm not really sure what colours I'd pick for a super form for Vector tbh, he already has a lot of yellow on him on his front and with his gold chain so I feel like you'd need something to contrast that, but I'm not sure if a silver sheen is quite right.. I'd need to think on it some more lol

But yeah, while unlikely that any of them would have even one chaos emerald never mind all seven it is a fun thing to think about ^_^

#tezztalks #team chaotix #THANK U FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT MY BOOOYYSS HEHE

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diancite · 1 year

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I KEEP FORGETTING TO POST THESE. magical girl au refs for cynthia and diantha except they're vaguely incomplete cuz i'm lazy LMAO. diantha's design is bound to change a bit eventually but im p happy with cynthia's.

some notes about the au/fic below the cut since i keep forgetting to actually share !!!!

in this fic magical girls are treated somewhat like?? idols i guess??? idk it wasn't intentional but that's just kind of what happened. there's like. agencies that manage magical girls and give them assistance/work to do . the system's fucked though.

all kinds of supernatural stuff happens!! pokemon do not exist but magical beasts of the same origin as magical girls do! and they're. fairly similar to pokemon in many aspects

magical girls aren't the only people with magic. there's just a very specific phenomena that goes on w/ magical girls specifically. they've existed since the beginning of recorded history! (and guess who's a huge nerd about that.)

anyway. character specific notes. i'll start w diantha bc she's the "protagonist"(read: first half of the story is in her pov)

she's still an actress in this au!! she probably could've unlocked her potential as a magical girl as a teenager if she'd... just had the time to . oopsies.

she didn't. become a magical girl until the start of the story (she's. 26. that is a VERY late age to discover that in this!!!!)

dating malva. lives with her as well. how cute hope nothing happens to their relationship(smiles)

is assigned on the important task of apprehending a powerful rogue magical girl(cynthia!) who has evaded every attempt in the past four years. hmmm wonder how this will end up!!!(sorry. im giggling writing this all out)

her weapon is a rapier similar to the one diancie is seen with in the oras animated trailer i'm just not 100% satisfied w my design for it yet. lol rip

aaand cynthia. wonder what her deal is!

she's a Very experienced magical girl. she is also a mid 20s disaster who is trying to juggle school with erm. being a wanted magical girl.

she used to be in the same agency that diantha is now in, but ran away after finding out some. Very Classified information.

so many people want her gone. too bad she's almost untouchable. (there's. a Ranking system for magical girls but i don't feel like explaining it. know she's probably one of if not the most powerful one alive tho)

is trying to unravel the mystery of where magical girls actually came from. (this is part of what led her to discovering some things she shouldn't have.) however her quest for Knowledge isn't. really that important to the main plot of the fic. i may make a spinoff about it tho if i ever get to that point lmaooo

ok genuinely i cant share too much about cynthia without just spoiling all the fun surprises i have planned for the story sorry

take some shitty aggie doodles i did a while back as thanks for reading all of this <3

#pokemon #champion cynthia #champion diantha #magical girl au #trainers lodge server knows a LOT more about the au than this. but i wanted to only post basic info on tumblr sorry </3 #the art is all kinda old at this point alas i do not care im lazy and just wanted to finally be able to post all of the doodles i have

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bythenineshards · 1 year

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Omg what was up with that Feysand stan on ur post????? ITS JUST A THEORY. (Not to mention a MUCH better pairing) and lol if Feysand was always endgame why in the fck does Rhysie SA Feyre??? Did Sjm do that to build sexual tension (cause Feyre says in Acomaf she had "wanted him even then") AND THAT'S INFINITELY WORSE!!

Lmao they tried to fire up on one of my posts too and I immediately blocked them. Seen them one too many times fighting about posts that's none of their business. Like life is so empty u need to fight with strangers on the internet to feel something. I am literally so mad not them saying Tamlin Apologists deserve to be bullied?!?!? For liking a fictional character????!!

I took personal offence to that

Ha! See! I told you I would respond today. I totally didn't get sucked into Skyrim and my writing and nearly forgot.

Idk what their problem was. They blocked me like the first week I was on here so I didn't think much of them. I knew about them because there would be discourse on posts and an invisible opponent. So I guess they unblocked me to stir shit and idk, get more traffic to their blog? They rebranded with a name that is clearly meant to draw in Antis of Feysand. I think they're like 15 and so I guess they're in their "I'm edgy look at me phase" where they want to pick fights because they think they're always right and special. I'm so glad I didn't grow up with my cringe behavior on the internet.This is why we don't sell erotica or "dark romance" to children. They can't handle speculation or discussions. I bet they cry over Marvel's What If... series because it's not Canon. Like... the post that had them all fired up was speculation about something we have receipts for. And a lot of people liked the idea. All they do is make the books look worse.

And the way they talk about Feyre vs. Nesta is like they think they're written by two different people. This isn't Harry Potter (fuck you Rowling) vs. Twilight (fuck you Meyers). I don't think Feyre gets a free pass to transform into a person of another race just cuz Nesta and Gwyn modelled their stuff after the Valkyries. I think both are bad and icky because the same author wrote both and clearly doesn't see how offensive that could be. I do, however, think that there's a difference between what Feyre did and the Blood Rite. Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie were kidnapped and forced into the Blood Rite. They didn't actually choose to.

Side note though: Valkyries are from Norse mythology. It does chap me that she couldn't use a mythology or create something new for her Illyrians to flesh out their culture. She just used a primarily white culture for her non-white character's culture.

Sorry to rant about that. It just irked me.

I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would ship Feysand the way it's written in Canon. I can with 100% confidence say I've never written a romance that involved anyone SAing anyone. Hell, I don't feature SA at all really. I don't want it in my fantasy. I want people to find peace and love in my books. Men have written enough SA in fantasy, it doesn't need any from me.

But like... if you look at their posts, the reason I don't like Feyre is because I wanted "my fav" to end up with Rhys. They can't fathom that I don't like Rhys at all. I don't like any of her men. They don't appeal to me at all. The only one I might’ve had any inkling of interest in is Kallias but I'm sure if we spent more than a handful of pages with him, I'd hate him too. I think she'd eventually change all of them regardless of appearance to something shallow and toxic.The Bat Boys specifically are boring to me. Their designs suck, their personalities suck and the way they treat their women sucks. Nothing I see in her books is what I would classify as love. Her books aren't about love. They're about sex with hot dudes. But you know what? Other books do romance, love and even just sex better.

I'm glad you blocked them. Just know, they still spy on us.

Thank you for your ask. I hope you're doing well.

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti rhysand #anti sjmaas #anti feysand #anti feyre #sjm critical #ask holly #stans being stans #anti acosf #ask me stuff #ask me questions #ask me anything #thanks for the ask!#ask #ask me things #answered asks #answered ask #answered

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mickmundy · 1 year

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hmm i've seen a lot of people saying that medic is a himbo which if that's how you see him more power to you! ^v^ but imo i think it's.... not quiiiite the word for him....

Speaking Only For My Own Opinion medic's too self aware to be a himbo (which is defined as basically a Guy who is Attractive as well as Just Plain Dumb).. he of course has his moments being goofy and silly but he's Very Aware that he's doing it... i don't think he's cold and i am a firm believer that one of the main features of his character is that he is fun-loving and full of giggly whimsy BUT it's not because he's Dumb! i'd classify him as more of a wildcard than anything else....

obviously medic is VERY handsome and beefy and.... suuuper sexy!! but he's not Unintelligent. he's cunning, quick to react and is delighted when he's underestimated. he Enjoys that he can control people's perceptions of him... idk how the "healer is the weakest" trope started but i surely do hate it LOL because i think medic is one of (if not Thee) strongest on the team (but that's a whole Other post i could make). very in-touch with his emotions, fights dirty and cunning/charismatic! dangerous (and sexy) combination... >:)

imo a large part of medic's character is fueled by his Curiosity and his love for having fun ("girls just want to have fun" is literally about him!)... specifically his own special kind of fun... is what is most important to him! science is fun, birds are fun, surgery is fun! maybe not to anyone else... but to medic... it is thee fun to be had!! KSDKF and i think that making him a Silly Sadist is very important because just Plain Sadist isn't very.. medic to me! he needs the silliness that's what makes him so charming..... also i think sometimes he just has no idea because he's Loud but not great with people. but Only now and then and Only for comedic effect. i'd be much more choosy with when this happens to prevent him from being, well, himbo-y i guess!

medic is goofy and silly and sexy but i think it also shouldn't Immediately Imply that he's got no brains in his head when he is in fact Extra Sexy because he is Huge Brained and knows when to play up the giggly and goofy and when to be serious... to put it simply he has too much Range! if he's giving you a "himbo side of his personality" it's totally intentional... and doctor giveth... doctor can taketh away >:) HEHEHEHE

#PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS MEANLY I LITERALLY HAVE NO ILL INTENTION I JUST WANT TO ATLK ABOUT how i characterize medic bc i lov him...#under a cut just in case..#also not tagging ouwa #dutchfoolery #dutchiehcs

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metamercury · 4 days

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I was tagged by @darksidekelz

Thank you!

Rules: look back on your works, both past and present, finished and unfinished. What are five to ten narrative elements or tropes that continuously pop up in your work? Give a list of these things!

---

Hmm, this is hard for me because how are we defining narrative elements? But I've been thinking it over. Idk if these all classify as elements, but they're themes I guess?

It's about the Yearning I've noticed for sure that I don't write a lot about tropes or physicality. I can probably count on one hand the number I've times I've written kissing or anything like that. It's not about the kissing here, it's not about if things are requited or unrequited, complicated or simple, absolute and engulfing in the case of dcrampage -- it could be any one of those things. There is always the yearning, and that tends to be what I focus on in one way or another. But it does leave me feeling quite often that I've written yet another fic where nothing really happens hahaha

Two guys fighting Nothing much to say about this. Probably 50% of what I write can be boiled down to two guys fighting. I just like to write people who want to fight each other. I like to write fights. Even when I write Ironwasp they're usually competing (or it's post-stockades angst and they're still fighting. I really write fighting a lot). Sometimes it gets out of hand and I can't get the characters to stop fighting long enough to actually do anything else (see: anything maxwil i've ever written)

Jokes that other people hate hearing One of my favourite things to do when writing fic is to make references to things in the series (or a related series) that the character Doesn't Know, but the reader does. I especially like to do this when it foreshadows bad things that are definitely going to happen. When Alia would read these jokes she'd shout at me, but when I read them back in my own fic I think I'm hilarious. I do it all the time in a lot of fics, but I do it the most with Wasp. Obviously.

The Character Study Not sure if this counts as a narrative element? But I really like to write fic that are essentially just character studies maybe with a ship wrapped up in it for engagement lol. I do have some that are just straight character studies. It can also feel like I'm writing a fic about nothing when I do these, because the focus is on the person, not the plot (generally, for oneshots at least). But I really enjoy reading them back, so it's probably fine. I just love getting in there with a character.

If I'm gonna write smut it better be fucked up I don't think I've ever written smut that wasn't dub/noncon or at least had something shady and weird going on underneath the surface. Now, you'll say "well of course, you only ever wrote shockblurr porn" but i'd like to remind you of Fit Like A Glove and then also direct you to my wip folder where I've been sitting on a dino2/megs fic (d2 pov so you know it's fucked), a tfa swindle/starscream where the feature is necro, and a snuff film fic for a fandom that will not be named at this time, for about 6-8 years. One day I'll get around to these I hope.

If it's not about the Yearning, then it's about Denial Unreliable narrators are fun, as are characters whose thoughts don't match their actions. I mean a lot of the time this writes out as anger, which leads to two guys fighting, but Not Always (and here's where I'd link that shitty two-part vampire au if I had the want to do that). (Mnemonic is a much more angsty example). Also, for wips, I have a dcrampage wip that is just about this element from start to finish, because it's dc pov. Here's the handwritten note I have for myself about the concept of this one, basically word for word: What's it about? Obsession, always. Instincts. DC is a protector, it's in his coding. And Rampage is unlucky and tortured -- that's the truth no matter how much he'd love to forget it. Anger? Disgust? Dead dedication to the vengeance he's owed? Always. Until that slagger is offline for good. But for as much as DC has thrown away his humanity, it's not as easy to throw away his nature (plus gay) I really want to pick that one back up. Anyways, if the Denial let's you play with a bunch of fun emotions in a way that works with the character. Pride, Jealousy, Insecurity, Depression, and of course Being a Shell of the Mech You Once Were. It's fun!

Five Senses This one I think I do to my own detriment sometimes. But at some point while I was learning to write better over the last 10/15 years I started to really try to lock scenes within the senses. To have the narrative focus on not just sights, but smells, texture, ambient sounds to really try to ground the characters within their environments, put us within the head of the pov character. I think, doing so can really help to make things more graphic, which is good. But i also think sometimes it slogs down the narrative and actually takes us out of the pov to more of like a 3rd camera perspective so to speak? I dunno, i like the way things read back in the end but during writing it can really feel like it stalls the flow of the narrative. I was talking to alia about this not to long ago, her narratives are always so fluid, and i think I get in my own way trying to ground things sometimes. Sometimes. I'm not sure if this one counts as a narrative element either. But its something that's definitely a thing about the way I write that I notice.

Anyways! That's all I can think of that's worth pointing out. I want to write more, and remembering to appreciate my writing as a craft I think is part of that.

I tag @neuropraxia. Do this.

#still defective #thanks for tagging me! it was interesting and fun to think about!

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multifandombitxh · 2 years

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Two Years Late (Ch. 3)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Chapter Genre: Angst/Smut vibes I guess idk how to classify it lol

Chapter Warnings: Slight bullying, sexual tension, strong language, PTSD flashbacks, mentions of blood/injury

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has shown interest in this series, I'm really proud of it and where it's going even though it doesn't get nearly as much attention as my one-shots do ♥️ if you'd like to be added to the tag list let me know! PS idk how D&D works, sue me lol

Tag list: @soapbar99 @avengersmarauders @senkobingus @httpjiikook @jessyballet @nanocoool @lightupmyjass

Chapters 1 & 2: X X

Chapter 3: The Dungeon Master's Queen

Before you could say goodbye and get the hell away from Eddie, Lucas, Mike, and Dustin appeared seemingly out of nowhere, crowding around the both of you. Mike and Lucas were giving Eddie fist bumps and loudly raving about his latest campaign, while Dustin was busy staring at you with confusion written all over his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dustin asked, catching the attention of the others.

"I, ah," You began, fumbling for an explanation that wouldn't make things more awkward than they already were. "I came toooo... pick you guys up!"

"But we have Hellfire tonight," Mike said, his tone perplexed. "You know we have it on Mondays and Fridays."

Shit.

"Oh, is today Friday?" You half laughed, trying to carry out your lie. "I totally forgot, I guess I thought it was Wednesday or something. I'll be back later to get you guys then!"

"You should just hang out with us!" Lucas said, "Aren't you always complaining about gas money? Why waste the gas to go home and come right back? Just come hang out!"

You and Eddie both looked to each other, then back at the kids.

"I don't think that's a good idea-" Eddie started, but was soon interrupted by a chorus of complaints that filled the air from the three kids surrounding you, making you wince at their pitchy voices.

"Y/N, you never hang out with us anymore!" Dustin complained.

"I hang out with you guys, I drive you home all the time!" You defended.

"Driving us home isn't hanging out with us," Dustin went on, "You only ever hang out with Steve and Robin, it's so not fair!"

"Maybe if you spent less time making out with Steve, you'd actually remember what day of the week it is," Mike added. Your jaw dropped at his statement, a scoff escaping your throat noisily.

"I do not make out with Steve," You said, giving Mike a very stern look. "If you seriously think there's something between me and your sister's ex-boyfriend, you are delusional, Wheeler."

"Wait, Steve Harrington?" Eddie asked as if he'd just pieced the puzzle together, "You hang out with Steve 'the hair' Harrington now?"

"Hang out? They're inseparable," Lucas replied to Eddie. "She's always at that stupid video store with him."

"And Robin, too, don't forget Robin," Dustin chimed in.

"Robin Buckley?" Eddie asked, a laugh laced in his words.

"Oh my god, yes, I hang out with Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley!" You shouted at Eddie, throwing your arms in the air and letting them fall back at your sides. "Jesus, if I stay, will you guys shut up about Steve?"

The three kids made the same motion of zipping their lips and you let out another deep sigh. With a lot of reluctance, you agreed to stay, following the four back into the high school and dragging your feet the whole way. Eddie led the way, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin following him closely and rambling on about monsters or something; you couldn't tell what. It all sounded like jumbled, made-up words.

When you arrived at the theater room, you found yourself an old, cushioned chair, placing it at the furthest end of the table from Eddie between Mike and an older kid you didn't recognize. The mystery teen gave you a dirty look, making you snort and laugh under your breath. You had to remind yourself that these were high school kids, and you were an adult. The only other person in the room on even remotely the same level as you was, unfortunately, Eddie.

And even that was a stretch.

"Are we letting women join Hellfire now?" The teen said, folding his arms over his chest and staring you down. It took everything in you not to burst into laughter.

"Yeah, what the hell, Eddie?" Another boy asked, "You know the female brain can't understand the complexities of this game. She'll probably ask too many questions and ruin the immersion."

For a moment, you thought to defend yourself, but decided it was pointless. It was hilarious how wrong they were, but you didn't feel the need to prove yourself to a room of sweaty high schoolers.

"Hey, you guys shut the hell up," Dustin said defensively from the other side of the table, pointing an accusing finger at the two boys. "She's cooler than everyone in this room combined."

"Hardly," Mike muttered. You kicked his leg under the table and laughed at the annoyed look he shot your way.

"It's true!" Dustin went on, standing from his seat.

"And what makes her qualified?" One of the boys asked condescendingly. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Qualified? To watch a board game? Annoyed at the amount of teenage entitlement in the room, you raised your hand slightly above your head.

"I don't even wanna be here," You said, but your words fell on deaf ears. No one was paying attention to you. No one, except Eddie, who was leaning back in his chair and staring you down like a hawk. One of his legs was crossed over the other and his mouth was pursed in a thin line, his chin turned upwards slightly to reveal his jawline. You did your best to ignore him, but couldn't help squeezing your legs together when he saw you staring back and smirked at you.

"She fought the Demogorgon," Dustin declared with a clap of his hands, refusing to back down. "It was so badass. She has this crazy sc-"

"She did fight the Demogorgon," Lucas interrupted quickly, looking over at Eddie. "In a campaign, I mean. It was awesome. It was like, years ago."

"Yeah, years ago," Mike repeated. He and Lucas looked uncomfortable, likely due to the fact that what Dustin said wasn't untrue. The most unrealistic part of it was calling it a fight rather than a bloody massacre. You were sure the other two boys wanted to get off of the subject before Dustin said too much. He had a tendency to get carried away, and the last thing you needed was for him to ask you to show off your gnarly scar.

It was a little hard to explain away without completely confessing the story. "Oh, this old thing? Yeah, damn near ripped my whole torso in half in one swipe. Talk about a tear-able workplace accident!"

Yeah. Not happening.

Eddie was leaning forward in his seat now with a taunting smile on his face. Your heart thumped hard in your chest, but you couldn't tell if it was from excitement or anxiety. "I didn't know you played D&D, Y/N."

All you could do was roll your eyes.

"Wait," One of the older boys said, "Y/N? Like, Queen Y/N, from your last campaign?"

"Gentlemen, I always hoped this day would come," Eddie addressed them, dramatically standing from his throne to approach you at a deviously slow pace. You shifted uncomfortably as he rounded the back of your seat, placing his hands firmly on the chair. "Queen Y/N, in the flesh."

The room erupted in discussion and surprise, which made you feel more inclined to sink into your seat as low as you could. You wished you could just slip between the dusty green cushions, never to be seen again. Eddie was still behind you, lurking like a shadow, now crouched to your level.

"Would you like to address your loyal subjects, my Queen?" He whispered in your ear, his tone teasing and his breath hot against your neck. "They all fought for your honor, you know. It was pretty courageous, actually. Gareth slayed a whole Wyvern for you."

"Fuck off, Munson," You hissed through your teeth. The others were busy in conversation, laughing and reminiscing about the campaign you were unknowingly a part of in the past. It seemed that it did the trick, though, because no one was complaining about your presence anymore.

"As you wish," He replied, pulling away and returning to his throne. The game began and you sat quietly, watching as they played. You stayed quiet, watching with little interest. Sleep deprivation was really starting to set in, and your chair was starting to feel especially comfy. You decided to rest your eyes while the group played, but couldn't find sleep as they conversed and shouted over each other.

At one point, the whole table was looking to you expectantly. The silence that fell over the room encouraged you to look around, only to be met with several prying eyes.

"What?" You asked, sounding more annoyed than you intended.

"The Queen has to make a choice," Eddie said, leaning over the table with his hands splayed over the old wood. "Do you slay the intruders, or show mercy?"

"I don't even know what's going on right now."

"A group of pillagers broke into your kingdom," Dustin explained, "Are you going to make us fight, or kidnap them?"

You furrowed your brow. "I thought I was a queen in a different story."

"Campaign," One of the teens corrected.

"We decided to revisit your kingdom," Lucas said, "We thought it would be fun, since you're here, y'know."

"Um, I dunno," You shrugged, sitting upright. "Are they evil?"

"They're trying to burn down the orphanage you built when you became Queen," Mike said dryly.

"Oh, then yeah, fuck 'em up, boys," You said with a wave of your hand.

"You have to say it like you're in character," Dustin whispered across the way.

You sighed heavily, sat up straight, then attempted your best regal voice. "Kill them all, brave soldiers. Bring me their heads, take no prisoners, whatever."

"Good enough," Eddie said with a nod and a large grin.

After about an hour and a half, things started to slow down and the group decided to call it a night. You watched as the older kids quickly made their exit, leaving Eddie behind with you and the boys. He was still sat on his throne, eyeing you like a hawk. You tried your best to ignore him, standing from your seat and stretching your arms over your head.

Mike, Dustin, and Lucas gathered their belongings and stuffed them inside their backpacks before slinging them over their shoulders and walking as a group to the doors. They were lost in conversation, but Dustin was quick to realize you weren't following them. When he did, he stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"Y/N, come on!" He called out, "I promised Suzie I'd call her when I got home!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it, just a sec," You said, your voice strained as you stretched.

"Go on ahead, guys," Eddie said, standing from his seat and making his way over to you. "I'm gonna talk to our Queen for a minute."

The boys looked between each other before shrugging and exiting through the noisy double doors. Silence fell over the room the second the doors shut, leaving you alone with Eddie once again. You leaned back against the table, resting your palms on the edge to support yourself. He came to stand in front of you, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Your thoughts wandered as you avoided meeting his gaze, wondering what he could possibly have to say to you that he hadn't already.

"Those kids really respect you," Eddie said, making you scoff.

"Yeah, right," You laughed, "I couldn't get those shitheads to respect me if my life depended on it."

"I just meant- I dunno," He went on, "It just seems like you're really close with them, that's all."

"I guess, yeah," You shrugged, "I grew up with them, I basically helped raise them. Saved their asses more times than I can count."

Eddie pursed his lips and stood beside you, crossing one leg over the other. "You mean, in D&D?"

"Yes," You said quickly, "Yeah, in the, um, in the game, yep."

"What was your class?"

"Ah- my what?"

"Your class," Eddie repeated, "What was your class and level in the game? You know, the one where you fought the Demogorgon."

"Oh," You said, desperately trying to remember what that even meant. "I was... Um... A wizard? No, a mage. Definitely a mage."

"Y/N, when are you gonna stop lying to me?" He asked impatiently, turning to look at you. "You hated D&D. You used to tell me how fucking boring you thought it was, and refused to ever play it with me. I know you've never touched the game. Why the hell would they say that you played with them if you haven't?"

"Look, Eddie, I don't know why they do the things they do," You sighed, giving up the lie. "Maybe you should ask them. It was probably just something they made up so the other kids wouldn't be mad that I was breathing the same air as them."

"Jesus, you are impossible," He groaned, running his hands down his face in exasperation. "Why can't you just be honest?"

"You'd hate me more if I was honest," You said, flashing him an empty smile.

Eddie looked over at you, his mouth turning downward in a frown. When he spoke, his voice was small, and sounded hurt. "I've never hated you, Y/N."

"Yeah, right," You said with a loud laugh, "You hate my guts, Eddie, you've made that pretty clear. Now who's the liar?"

"I'm being serious," Eddie said, his voice stern.

"So am I," You replied with a shrug.

As if his well of patience had run dry, he came to stand in front of you in one swift movement, his eyes boring into yours. You tried to move backwards away from him, but you were already backed up against the table as it was. Try as you did, it was impossible to get away as he leaned forward, both of his open palms landing on the table behind you and trapping you between his arms. He was dangerously close and smelled like ash, his hair wildly hanging in his face and giving him a mysterious look. Those gorgeous eyes were locked on yours, but would stray away every few seconds to gaze at your tensed forehead or your frowning lips. Unrecognizable heat burned in the pit of your stomach.

Eddie had that effect on you, and it drove you absolutely up the wall. He infuriated you to no end, but at the same time, he made you feel warmth, anticipation, and this undeniable arousal that made you both excited and sick to your stomach at the same time. For the second time that day he had you in a tricky spot where he had closed in on you, and you couldn't tell if you wanted to punch him in the face, or kiss him like it was your job.

It would be easier if you knew which reaction he was trying to draw out of you in the first place.

"What are you trying to do, Eddie?" You asked, "If you're trying to scare me, it's not gonna work. We went over this already."

"Who said I was trying to scare you?" He asked in response, "Maybe I'm just trying to make a point."

"And what, exactly, is that point?"

Eddie closed in even further, his lips centimeters from your ear. His breath was hot against your skin, making you shiver once before you forced yourself to still. The last thing you wanted was to show him exactly what he was doing to you. Your nails dug into the wooden table as one of his hands came to rest on the small of your back, sending a jolt of electricity up your spine. It felt like a lost cause trying to steady your breathing at that point, especially when you could hear just how breathless he was as well.

"My point is," He said softly, "You're a shitty liar, and you always have been."

"Fuck you, Munson," You breathed out, taking in a sharp breath as he pulled you closer against his body. Your back was basically arching up into him, your chests touching ever so slightly.

"You know, if you hate me so god damn much," He went on, "Why aren't you fighting me right now? You sure don't seem to be upset about this for someone who supposedly hates my guts. That's what this is all about, right? Don't you hate me? Or is it something else, but you just don't want to admit it to yourself?"

"What the hell are you even talking about?" You asked angrily.

Eddie moved away from your ear to look you in the eye, his pupils blown and his mouth turned up in one corner. The way he was looking at you was absolutely sinful and made a knot form in your gut. "I just think it would do you some good to be honest for once."

God, you wanted to kiss him. His lips were right there, just begging for you to lean in and close the small space that separated you. You couldn't seem to look away from him, your lips parting gently the longer you held each other's gaze. You wanted to say something, or do something, but it felt like you were frozen in place. Your heart was pounding against your chest so heavily it felt like it would bruise you from the inside out. The silent tension in the air made you dizzy, and the longer he stared down at you like he was going to throw you onto the table any second, the less and less you could breathe properly.

By now he was basically on top of you, the only thing keeping you upright was his arm that was snaked around your middle. Your feet nearly went out from under you as he closed in, and you stumbled, but Eddie was quick to scoop you up and place you on the table. He made himself comfortable between your legs, his hands coming to rest on the table beside your hips. He was mere inches from you now, the tip of his nose nearly touching yours. For a moment, it felt like your lungs weren't working anymore.

Did you want to kiss him? You really, really did. At the same time, you also wanted to rearrange his teeth. But Jesus, the way he was looking at you was so devilish and full of lust that it was hard to keep it together. One of his jeweled fingers trailed up the side of your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You shivered against his touch and clenched your jaw, lowering your gaze and doing your best not to lose your mind.

"Look at me, Y/N," Eddie demanded, his voice low.

When you looked up again, Eddie was gone, replaced by the snarling, bloody, faceless monster that haunted you day in and day out. Its mouth opened with a disgusting, wet noise, rows of teeth glistening in the colorful lights of the theater room. You gasped and tried to move backwards, but it was holding you in place, claws ripping through your clothes and drawing blood. You began to fight back, pushing and shoving on its chest and felt the urge to cry out, but the shock of the situation rendered you silent. The Demogorgon screeched above you, making you push harder until you finally broke free.

You bolted for the door, but before you could make your escape, a hand grasped your wrist and forced you to turn around. You fought against the grip, but when you turned, Eddie was standing where the Demogorgon had previously been, looking very frightened and shocked. His eyes were wide, his hair wild, and his mouth agape.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, sounding breathless.

"I don't-" You started, gasping for air. You began looking around the room frantically, eyes darting to every corner to see where it went. You wondered why Eddie wasn't freaking the fuck out. "Where did- Where did it go?"

"Where did what go, Y/N?" Eddie asked, sounding exasperated.

"You didn't see it?" You asked in disbelief.

"See what?"

When you looked down at your torso, you found that you weren't bleeding at all, and your clothing was perfectly fine.

It wasn't real.

None of it was real.

With a sigh of relief, your shoulders dropped and you felt an overwhelming sense of exhaustion wash over you. You were beyond tired, now to the point of seeing things. You couldn't get away from it, even in the real world. Tears stung in your sore eyes and you rubbed them away. Eddie was still grasping your wrist, his grip loosening as you calmed down.

"Y/N, you're scaring me," Eddie said after a moment. "What did you see?"

Swallowing hard, you blinked several times and avoided Eddie's gaze. "It's nothing, I just... Forget it."

"No, do not do this again," He warned, pointing a finger at you. "You're telling me what the fuck is going on, right now."

"I can't, Eddie," You replied, looking up at him with tired eyes. "I don't know how many times I have to say it. I can't tell you."

"Bullshit," He spat, taking a few steps closer. "It's not that you can't, it's because you won't. I'm done with these stupid games, Y/N, tell me why you were so scared you about knocked me on my ass."

"I... get claustrophobic," You lied with a shrug, "You were in my space, sue me."

Eddie stared at you for a moment, shaking his head. He looked both sad and disappointed at the same time, making your heart twist in your chest. "You're a shitty liar, Y/N."

After pulling away from Eddie's grip, you pushed past the doors, taking long, quick strides toward the exit and desperately trying to force thoughts of Eddie and the Demogorgon out of your mind.

Why the hell would you see it here, now? How were you supposed to get better if it never went away? On top of that, what was Eddie doing in there? He was all over you, acting like you hadn't just been fighting hours prior. How could he just pretend everything was fine? Angrily shaking all questions from your mind, you pushed your way out of the school doors and marched into the parking lot where you found Mike, Lucas, and Dustin waiting at your car.

"What the hell took so long?" Dustin asked, impatiently pulling on the handle of the door. "It's freezing out here!"

"Sorry," You said, searching your bag for your keys. "I didn't think I'd be that long."

"Did you fight with Eddie again?" Mike asked.

"Wait, again?" Lucas asked Mike, picking up his backpack off the ground and slinging it over his shoulder.

"They had a fight last time she came to pick us up," Mike explained as you continued to desperately search for your keys. "If you hadn't ditched us for Jason and his loser friends you would've known that."

"What kind of fight?" Lucas continued questioning Mike.

"I think Eddie just doesn't like Y/N," Mike said.

"That's not true, he literally named a character after her," Dustin retorted. You were still frantically looking for your keys.

"Oh, yeah, I guess that's true," Mike replied.

"Maybe they used to date or something," Lucas said with a shrug. " A 'Lover's Quarrel', or whatever it is my mom says."

"My mom says that too," Mike laughed, "Can you imagine Eddie and Y/N being like our parents?"

"Don't be gross, guys," Dustin gagged, "If Eddie and Y/N got married, they'd be nothing like either of your parents."

"Hey, guys," You said impatiently, "I'm right here, okay? Quit talking about me like I'm not standing five feet away, or I'm leaving you shitheads here."

"Kinda seems like you'll have to," Dustin said, gesturing to your bag. "Where are your keys?"

"I don't know, okay?" You said, exasperated. "They were here earlier, I swear. Maybe I just, I dunno, dropped them in the woods earlier. I'll be right back, okay? Just go wait inside or something."

As you turned to begin the walk down to the clearing, you bumped into something solid, forcing you to take a step backward. Eddie stood before you like a towering tree, looking down at you with dark eyes.

"Having some trouble?" He asked, his tone scratchy. The kids were deadly silent behind you, as if witnessing Mom and Dad fighting again.

This day couldn't possibly get worse. Not only were you beyond exhausted and seeing things, but you couldn't seem to get away from Eddie. Your feelings about him felt muddied and blurred after everything you just experienced back in the theater room. It was hard to determine which you felt more; longing, or absolute hatred. Either way, you had reached your breaking point and just wanted to go home.

"I can't-" You stuttered, covering your mouth with your hand and fighting back tears. "I can't find my keys."

Eddie looked back at the three boys who gave him friendly waves, and he sighed, turning back to you.

"Alright, come on," He said, gesturing for you and the boys to follow him.

"What?" You asked.

"You can't drive without your keys, and I am not hot wiring your car," He explained as he began walking off into the parking lot. The kids followed after him, giving you apologetic smiles. You trailed behind them, desperately praying the day would end soon.

Dustin stayed behind with you, matching your pace as the others followed Eddie like lost puppies. You couldn't help smiling when they began rough housing, Eddie picking up Mike and throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Loud protesting and laughter echoed in the parking lot, Mike shouting at Eddie to put him down and pounding his fists on his back.

"Eddie's a good guy," Dustin said, "I don't understand why you guys don't get along."

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest, staring down at your feet. "We used to be friends, but when we got into high school, he decided he didn't want to be anymore."

"I don't get it," He went on, "He talks about you like you never stopped being friends."

"Well, we did," You said, "And it was his choice."

"Okay," Dustin said, "But is it still his choice? Or is it yours now? Because I think he wants to be your friend, but you're pushing him away."

You scoffed and smiled over at him, messing with the hat atop his head. "You take too many pages out of Harrington's book, Dustin."

When you finally made it to Eddie's van, the boys piled into the back, leaving you with the passenger seat. As badly as you didn't want to be near Eddie, the idea of sitting in a car and getting at least a little shut eye seemed pretty appealing. Once inside, you buckled your seatbelt and turned to face the window, resting your forehead against the cold glass and closing your eyes.

Eddie started up his van and turned up the heat, his music blasting through the speakers at an annoying volume. After a quick glance over at you, he turned the volume down, much to the dismay of the boys in the back of the van. Eddie gestured to them with a finger over his lips, then pointed at your tired form. After that, there was only the sound of the road and soft music, which was enough to let you drift into sleep with ease.

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