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softxsuki · 1 year

Note

hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you.

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him.

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain.

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead.

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you.

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

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unfunnyaceartist · 1 month

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Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it

I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.

Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.

Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.

sorry im dumb haha

#tw vent #By the time I finished writing the post I was no longer a mess about it but im still gonna post it #I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I SEE ANYONE APOLOGIZING FOR MY OWN ISSUES IM GONNA BE PISSED #yall read all the tags its beneficial lol #Ngl SOME of this jealousy hits hardest with Gummy #because Ill FINALLY get fed some simp food for myself #and then yk #theyll kinda show up and ask to receive the same stuff #or act jealous #gummy #babe I love you #BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE FEEDING YOU GUMMYBUNNY CONSTANTLY????#Like mine is rare and far between #and I dont draw much selfship unlike you #LET ME HAVE SOME THINGS DAMMIT #And then Darken over here when I get a cool new friend just like:#... is for me? 🥺👉👈#/nm for both things #im the embodiment of envy and greed arent I...#I hate upsetting people #I just keep it to myself and internalize my emotions mostly #haha now you guys know how possessive and jealous I am #its giving yandere 🥰💅✨🗣💃🕺😍😘😼🤠🤭😇🙄🤩😜😝🤑🧐😈#i regret my life choices right about now

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raysletters · 5 months

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2023 Character Wrapped

Rules: share your top 9 characters of 2023

tagged by the lovely @suseagull04 (like, so long ago, but i had forgotten to do it so here i am)

1. Alex Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)

i wish i could explain to you the deep connection i have to this fictional man. he is me and i am him. he probably has been my favorite character since i first found him on 2021 (which is the longest hyperfixation ive ever had, funnily enough) and has actually shaped me to be more confident in myself and all that mushy stuff, so yeah, im just missing a henry kinnie that wants to put up with this mess.

2. Percy Jackson (Riordanverse)

i binge read pjo and hoo these last months, and the way ive become attached to this kid is something else. i want to protect him from anything.

3. Nico di Angelo (Riordanverse)

like with percy, i became attached to him from the moment he showed up, and i would protect him with my life even from rick riordan. he cant do no wrong ever.

4. Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor (RWRB)

henry has specially gained a piece in my heart lately, but i have to be honest, when i first read about him, i thought nothing of him more than the perfect companion and love interest in alex's story. i have to say that getting a glance to his mind through both the bonus chapter and really fucking good fics gave me the insight i needed to comprehend him: his actions, his motivations, and everything in between that made him who he is and made me realize how many things we have in common and how many things i could learn from him, which is always a beautiful experience

5. June Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)

theres nothing i wouldnt do for her. even though i absolutely HATE how i wrote the fic that has june's pov, im still in the process of learning about her and comprehending her more. still, she reminds me so much of my own sister, even though i should kin her more than alex because of the whole sapphic latina journalist who loves her sibling very much, even when they annoy the shit out of you, but alas, im a younger sister and june has so much vibes of my own sister except with my tastes, so yeah, nothing i wouldnt do for her

6. Iris West-Allen (The Flash TV)

in case you didnt know this about me, i had a not-so-recent hyperfixation on the flash (and it can absolutely be seen in my sky high au), and she was half the reason of it. i wish i could put into words how much i fucking love her in every sense of the word. like, i'm in love with her but i also want her to be happy and protected at all costs and i would do anything for her to actually get those things. she can also step on me and i would thank her, but that is unrelated

7. Annabeth Chase (Riordanverse)

what you dont get is that for her i would become like a rabid feral gremlin or maybe that dog that takes a sword in its mouth and starts swinging carelessly. thats how ready i am to protect her from absolutely everything, even spiders, no matter how fucking scared i am of them

8. Imogen Heaney (Heartstopper TV)

yes, i am absolutely biased because the actress also has t1d and my hc is that now imogen also has t1d, but also because i, too, affirmed with my whole chest how i was an ally and totally straight and then slowly realized i was sapphic bc of one cute girl in my friend group that called me out on my bs 💀

9. Barry Allen (The Flash TV)

yes, we dont acknowledge that other version by that other actor. yes, he's last because i had a love-hate relationship with the way he was written. but season 8!barry became one of my favorite versions of him, and i absolutely thank grant (the actor) for the way he made me love the character once again

i missed so many characters that i love but just not like i love these ones. the only one who could easily take barry's place on the list would be nick nelson my absolute beloved, but since flash tv ended this year, it had me in my feelings and i couldn't not put him there, so yeah

DISCLAIMER: i am at the moment reading trials of apollo (im just like 1/4 of the first book) and if somebody spoils me anything i WILL become a rabid feral gremlin, this is your only warning, thank you very much.

anyway, you can consider this an open tag and do this and tag me in it bc i always love to read about yalls favorite stuff. still, no pressure, but im still tagging beautiful ppl so i can read about your favorite characters @anincompletelist @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @sherryvalli @14carrotghoul @formorewishes

#tag game #2023 character wrapped

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adrianasunderworld · 2 years

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so i dont see anywhere on your bio or pinned that says if your requests/asks are open so i will tentatively assume they are

(trigger/content warning for manslaughter, suicide (in that it is manslaughter disguised as suicide), dissociation, hanging, descriptions of blood, etc. like seriously its wack. also spoilers for OMORI if you haven't finished that game)

so in the headmistress rosehearts au with all of the bs going on, there has to come a point where yuu simply snaps. and many people break differently, some have a fit, some cave in on themselves, etc.

and in this state, its common to do things without thinking, things that you may even regret. and since omori is currently my hyperfixation, and i hate myself, lets do a thing, shall we?

so imagine this.

-----

ms rosehearts is, once again, making a big stink about something not very important. lets assume you goofed on a potion in class that day, and the mistress is here to deal with that personally.

from an outside perspective, you are clearly not there. you're standing there, head down, completely silent, nearly deaf to the belligerent nonsense spewing from ms rosehearts mouth.

you clench your fists, and start to try to walk away.

you are alone here.

ms rosehearts grabs your wrist, yelling about how she isnt finished, and that disobedience like this will not be tolerated. standing against the staircase, her voice taking on a whole new volume as she screeches endlessly about their insolence.

but you are. you are finished. all these emotions, hatred and resentment, and an overbearing exhaustion weighing on every bone.

why cant she just shut up?

a hand grasps the lady's dress.

another braces itself against the railing.

and

you

pushed.

the headmistress fell like a tower of cards, a flash of terror washing over her face in a fraction of a second. there was barely a moment to let out an aborted scream before her skull crunched against the railing, and she plummeted limply to the ground, sprawling out against the tile floor.

a race of footsteps quickly approached, alerted by the noise.

you stared down blankly from the top, your shadow blocking any light from reaching the woman's face.

ms rosehearts was faced downward, so its not like anyone would see her expression as is, but a faint part in the back of your brain told them it wouldn't matter anyway.

voices sounded from a nearby hall, getting closer. some were familiar, but you couldn't tell what they were saying.

you kept your eyes on the body, even as red began to seep from its skull in a puddle, like a perverted halo.

staring, waiting. for something to happen? you didn't know. should you feel something here? you thought you should. maybe. maybe not. maybe if you kept looking at it, you would.

why doesn't it feel real yet?

somebody is climbing the stairs. approaching you? passing you? you can't tell. you don't really want to know, anyway. so you keep staring.

"--u."

"y-u. pl--s-."

"yu-, pl--s- t-l- -- w--t -a--en-d."

"y--, a--w-r -e. a-- y-- o-a-?"

...

"YUU!"

it was only reflex that made you look. someone was there, crouching down to you, staring you down with emotions you didn't feel like parsing out. were they scared? you thought they shouldn't be. nothing was wrong.

you look back down again.

she was still there? why was she still there?

... maybe she needs to sleep. is she tired?

you don't look at the person, they should agree with you. maybe while ms rosehearts is asleep you can have some peace.

that would be nice.

you pull her up by her arms, ignoring the red that drips down onto your uniform. its okay. it'll go away.

head wounds always look more severe than they usually are, right? thats what ms rosehearts taught you, anyway. she'll be fine.

she's just tired.

but she's not really that heavy, like you thought she would be. she's pretty light. she really should be heavier.

it doesn't take long before you bring her down on a bed.

and wait.

you wait a while.

maybe she's just really tired.

what if..

what if she won't wake up?

no, no... she has to. she has to wake up. you don't know what you would tell everyone if she didn't. riddle is your friend, you wouldn't do that to him.

she has to wake up.

"yu-, -le-se."

"she -s no- waki-g u-."

"-uu, lo-k at me. she is dead."

she is dead.

she's dead? you bring back your gaze to her body.

lifeless.

oh my god.

she is dead.

what do you do?

how. how are you going to explain this? nobody will believe you if you tell the truth.

.. it was an accident, right?

a soft grip holds your hands.

"listen to me. we can fix this. nobody will have to know."

SOMEONE's eyes glow in the darkness. it begs you to trust it. it says... that everything will be okay. all you have to do is follow its lead.

you don't have a choice, do you? this is the only way out. even if it's unspeakable. everything has to be okay.

you pick up the body, and carry it down the staircase. nobody is here, but you feel eyes on you anyway. you ignore it. she is light in your hands. this is a dream.

faintly, you hear the creak of an opening door. SOMEONE beckons you forward. a light breeze presses your face, and the evening light meets your eyes, but you ignore it. you need to wake up.

you lay down ms roseheart's body in the grass. you do not look at her, keeping your eyes on the trees. everything will be okay.

you think you see a figure pick something up from the ground. you aren't sure. you dig your nails into your palms, hoping for one last shock to bring you out of here, to leave this nightmare. nothing happens.

SOMEONE paces back and forth in the corner of your vision. you keep looking at the trees.

shuffling... dragging... creaking... and pulling... all these sounds come and go, yet you refuse to acknowledge them. something is happening. you don't know what. maybe you can wake up again.

a hand rests on your shoulder. gently, another guides your face back down. a voice tells you to look at them.

its... riddle. his eyes are so tired, and tears are making their way down his face. the grey of his eyes looks almost white.

it dawns on you. this is real. everything was real.

he leads you back into the building, hand on your back urging you forward. you look back and you see it.

it sways in the wind.

haggard and unkempt, ms rosehearts would have never allowed herself to look like this. but she isn't here. her body is a shell.

everything should be okay now. it's over, you did what you were told to do, so now everything should be okay. you feel like you should feel bad for thinking like this. yet still you feel at peace. this is it. everything is okay now.

(you're a murderer.)

riddle follows your gaze, and stops. his eyes are wide awake, frozen in terror. you follow his line of sight.

an eye meets yours. your body grows cold.

you shouldn't have looked.

-----

anyway that'd be so fucked up right??? (yes halfway through is basically a rewritten version of the truth photo transcripts, stfu). WOW this is long my apologies oof

like just imagine how ruined riddle would be. his friend accidentally fucking murdered his mom, dissociated for like 20 minutes- totally unaware of how exactly both their lives have fallen apart, mind you- and then he had to help cover up what yuu did by making it seem like a suicide because otherwise yuu wouldn't be able to live at the school anymore, with no way to defend themselves because they currently had no understanding of what they did or what happened in the last hour.

riddle is a basil kinnie and that is the worst thing that he has ever discovered about himself

Literally your timing with this could not have been more impeccable. Literally the day before this ask was submitted was when my brother started Omori. I have not played, I was only with him for the very start, only up to the part where they go to the picnic and can save. So I don't know what Basil did.

Anyway, I love dark/horror stuff like this. It's fascinating to think about the state of mind of the character. Like what could have been going through Riddles mind in that moment? The decision to help Yuu and not avenge his mother. Very telling of who in this au is more important to him.

Also ngl, I thought for a second the SOMEONE beckoning Yuu was going to be Crowley. Like he was going to pop out and this was his revenge on Mrs.Rosehearts for taking his job and so he can come back, and this would be yet another thing for him to dangle over Yuus head to get his way.

#twisted wonderland #tw blood #tw suicide mention #tw manslaughter #riddle rosehearts #headmistress rosehearts au

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merlions · 10 months

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Ok so Can I Just Ask rhetorically into the air (unless someone has an answer lol I would not say no if anyone offers insight here, im just not specifically asking for it cause i dont know for sure an answer even exists i guess) but when everyone tells u to "feel your feelings" likeee....then what?

Like I keep getting the advice esp in recovery that I gotta "feel my feelings" and "recognize your feelings" but then when I'm like ok. Im doing it. I'm having a panic attack and throwing up from guilt and shame. What do I do about that. And they're like "oh no just feel them!!!"

(Also "shame is bad but guilt is constructive" OKAY. SO JUST feel DIFFERENT feelings? Than the ones I have. Hrrrghhh)

Like I feel like I missed some regular human memo here like there's supposed to be something I Know what to do but I don't know what it is.

Tbh it's the same feeling I get when people keep telling me to like believe in spirituality things or else I won't be able to stay sober. I keep being like so...how do I do that? Like how does it matter to me if there's a god, if also there's literally no guarantee that god won't do something terrible for some "greater purpose" and i cant change that? Like you want me to feel safety from that? All this bad stuff was planned by someone? How does that make it feel less bad? (What sort of sicko- )(sorry lmao I didn't realize I had anger issues w god til I was told I have to actually believe in one)

I keep asking people to describe to me what exactly it means to believe in something spiritual, to them, as if I am a human being who was born blind and never seen color, and they need to describe why some colors are "happy". Or like i'm an alien who has never eaten food and you gotta explain how something can taste "salty". I know that's not the best metaphor and is kinda appropriative of other disabilities that I don't have, but I just mean like can someone try to get SORT OF creative with trying to put this in context for me??? Cause just saying "just do it!!" absolutely does nothing for me! It doesn't make sense. Teaching a human being how to fly by saying "just move your body through the air to where you want to go". Honey. I do not know how. And I cannot learn how via this method. It is not going to work no matter how many times you say it. You are going to have to try something else.

Anyways some shit happened that's ultimately fine and I know WHY I'm having bad feelings and it's not a resolvable situation really, the thing has happened and it can't un-happen, and like I know I'm getting angry cause I'm embarrassed and upset w myself, and that they're not at fault and ultimately it is really truly for the best and actually makes my life better in the long run and I was nice about it and so were they. But like...I'm still angry and sad and embarrassed. Knowing why I feel bad doesn't make me not feel bad, it just makes me angrier with myself for not being able to control it.

And I don't want to feel it cause it hurts and there's nothing I know how to do about that besides drink. Which I am not gonna do, to be clear, but I think is understandable in a recovery space, that we are all alcoholics cause we never learned to deal w feelings any other way. All the advice from my counselor and sponsor and everyone these past 9 months of recovery has mostly just been "try to identify your feelings and feel them". Like I do literally nothing but hyperfixate and ruminate on feelings if im not numbing them and trauma splitting...if I'm not supposed to numb them out I'm Just Going To Need A Bit More Information. Yknow?

#emetophobia -/#personal -/#idk yoooo what are feelings. we just dont know #vent post -/#hrgh ask me to tag i think i missed stuff #ed -/#kinda

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misqnon · 25 days

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hi one piece anon back again. i shall call myself march so that next time i send in an ask i dont have to type out "i sent the asks about one piece" (too wordy. much easier to just write a name)

i so appreciate ur 2k words ,, i think u have successfully eliminated my anxiety abt talking too much !! ur very sweet 🥹 thank u /p!! electronic pen pals!!! that is so fun !! :D

i went back to watch wano after catching up (im like halfway through the arc) and genuinely the animation is so good!! (its also rly funny because they made zoro super sexy at every opportunity.. they upped his fanservice by a million. i love it. as a zoro fan.) its probably worth it to watch the anime for that part if ur interested?? although the pacing is still super slow so it might be better to read the manga first and THEN watch wano if ur still hyperfixated on one piece at that point. i went back to wano cuz i was feeling sad about being caught up and not having any more content to consume.

ive seen clips of the fights and they look so fantastic and cool and hype and AGH . i havent gotten to any big fights yet but its been a lot of fun seeing the characters all colored and .. moving. its also kind of sad to watch though cuz you can TELL some of the voice actors are really struggling. my love franky.. i love his voice acting but he sounds so rough in wano :((. his is probably the most obvious example but if u pay attention u can tell with most of the voice actors who've been doing the show for a long time.

i havent watched the live action because netflix sucks (i dont live with the account owner currently and i HAVE TO if i want to use netflix) but i have seen how many people have gotten into one piece bc of it, and i have seen a lot of clips. and i know people love it and its very highly regarded. (also i kinda love what they did with sanji (i miss his twirly eyebrows though 😭)) so i have a lot of respect for it despite never watching it myself!! im also so excited for "the one piece" bc even though i know next to nothing about it, if its adapting this wonderful universe full of lovable characters in a way that actually HELPS the manga rather than HURTS it.. well. how could i complain.

i DO think u got into one piece at a really good time!! ive heard a lot of "if you want to get into one piece, this is your last chance" and "now is the best time to start one piece" and i think theyre right. although hearing its your "last chance" is kind of anxiety inducing personally LOL. i think itll be really difficult to avoid spoilers after the series ends though so in that sense.. theyre probably correct. at the pace youre going i dont think one piece will end before you catch up. oda's on a 3 week break right now too so imo you have plenty of time!! i think wano is about 150 chapters and theres a LOT going on so it might take you a while, but this is the final SAGA not the final arc dont worry!! im picturing the straw hats visit at least 2 more islands after the current arc. although obviously im not oda so i have no idea if thats accurate LOL

i think no matter what im gonna feel like i have questions unanswered when one piece ends, just cuz i am so insanely invested in . the whole world of one piece. i want to know everything about everything. but i DO think oda will answer the big questions, and i agree that he probably wont just leave us wondering. the newest arc is already kind of answering a lot of questions (and... developing MORE mysteries LMAO)

i hope i didnt make you feel like its WRONG to like sanji bc it isnt!! just cuz i cant get behind him doesnt mean that i think people who like him are bad people or anything remotely like that. i mean. i love doflamingo. and hes an AWFUL person. i hate his guts... but i love him. hes such an interesting character and i want to dissect him and analyze him and . i love to think about him. and hes comforting in some weird way.

so u loving sanji is no issue!! i dont want u to feel like u have to defend urself (although i DO like hearing ur reasoning behind why you like him because its interesting, and it makes me think harder about how i feel about him).

also personally i dont see an issue with consuming media that is problematic in some ways. if the creator is a bad person i think its fine as long as ur not excusing their actions!! i would kind of rather not support oda because i dont like him as a person (which is a personal decision, im not gonna criticize people who support him financially), but i do LOVE one piece and yes. his biases DO affect the story.. but since i dislike oda i usually say "fuck the word of god" and do what i want with the characters. i think its a lot more fun that way!!

sanji is such a mess (affectionately) so i can definitely see the appeal!! half the reason i love one piece characters so much is bc theyre all so SILLY. so unbearably silly. they all have stupid moments, they all have funny moments, and i adore silly people. my dislike for sanji is, mostly, resentment borne out of my intense hatred for being pushed into a box by society. it is almost purely personal. like yes him being a pervert is disgusting and annoying and i hate it, but i think i would be able to ignore it if i didnt feel so personally attacked??? by him?? LOL. i think thats kind of silly tbh . i would usually be able to brush his pervertedness off as a flaw of oda's rather than something to blame sanji for. but since i already have some ... *intense* feelings towards him, the pervert thing just serves to fuel my anger.

but all of that is just My Personal Feelings about him!! i do love him in headcanon/fanon most of the time, and even if i hate him in canon i still also love him purely because hes a straw hat and i love and adore all of the straw hats. they feel like real people to me. and i am obsessed with them. i root for them at any chance and i believe they will find the one piece... if they werent the main characters and therefore guaranteed to find the one piece i would still believe in them 1000%!! <- big nerd thing to say .

also one thing i wanted to ask u about is if u noticed the parallels during whole cake island between sanji taking luffy food and the flashback of sanji taking sora food?? i LOVED that moment. he runs through the rain, has to try to keep a dog from eating the food, and when he finally gives it to the person its all soggy and wet and he apologizes. but they say its delicious. and they smile. i KNOW he was thinking of his mom at that moment with luffy. and i just... ugh.. sanji . sobbing . maybe u talked about rhis and i just missed it but I NEED to know that u saw it.. my favorite sanji lover

this is way more than 4000 characters so i have one upped you!! haha!! [triumphant] (lets hope it all fits in the ask box .. ive never written this long of an ask)

that works, very slay 👍 hi march!!

answering under cut as per usual

first of all i missed ur message bc it came in on april fools amongst all the boops 💀 i’m glad i happened to check my inbox jdnjvnvhv

you can call me mont! (or just misqnon, if you want) i am so glad my rambling eliminated ur anxiety bc i literally do not judge whatsoever and also clearly i am. Just as hyperfixated LMAO

WANO’S ANIMATION LOOKS SOOOO PRETTY…i wont lie ive watched a few clips bc i couldnt help myself. Im still in the middle of WCI but i want to get to wano sooo bad. And i probably will just read wano first (bc . time) but i ABSOLUTELY want to watch it at some point. And yes they 100% picked up on the zoro fanservice my god (i am ALSO a zoro fan. Sanji, robin, zoro, and franky are my fav strawhats and i love them all immensely) he is so goddamn buff in wano what the hell did they feed that guy…they beefed all the guys up in wano though it seems DSJNJKD

Speaking of wano zoro @ dykealloy made this. absolutely insane edit of Zoro, Mihawk, and Katakuri to the song CVNT by sophie hunter and it has a lot fo clips from wano that make me froth at the mouth (link here - be warned of explicit language, obv)

YEA THE VOICE ACTORS MANNN 😭 I prefer the dub bc i actually like everyone’s voices and its what im used to (except luffy, i do prefer sub for him) but i know the og voice actors are getting up there in age…Part of the reason i don’t like the sub as much is bc you can tell the VA’s are way older than the characters they’re voicing and it’s just a bit. Odd (as much as i love the VAs and obvi it’d be weird to change it at this point)

netflix does suck !!!! i was living with my bro at the time so i watched it on his account but yea i dont have access to watching it anymore either :( taz skylar my fucking beloved. The live action cast is all insane. Theyre so cute and funny every single one of them. If u have extra time u should watch all the funny cast videos they did on youtube where they play charades and do little prompts together. The clips of them interacting at cons and out doing promo for the show is usually pretty cute too. Opla wasnt perfect or necessary but it was fun as hell and u can tell the showrunners had a passion for the show.

I keep making progress in chunks so hopefully i can catch up within the next few months 🧍ive been so busy i havent been able to read in a while! (and also. Whole cake makes me a bit emo) even 2 more islands like ur suspecting would be a blessing. I mean. They still have to go to elbaph right?? And raftel/laughtale so. Thats already 2. Okay i feel better already lmao)

Im so curious about egghead im going insane but i will refrain. Somehow i havent seen any spoilers for it YET (aside from some stuff about bonney and kuma)

ALSO YOU DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE ITS WRONG TO LIKE SANJI LMAO you were super nice and didnt imply anything i just have catholic guilt about liking him. No one has even ever said something to me in that manner i just know he’s. Complicated. And also sometimes he Sucks. So i’ve thought about it a lot (clearly).

And coming off of that DUDE I LOVE DOFFY. I watch a lot of melonteee on youtube and even before i was anywhere near doffy they had me on the doflamingo train. He is so insane and weird and downright evil. i drew him one time 😶‍🌫️My last big fandom back in like 2014-2017 was JJBA and my favorite character as Dio and let me tell you. The similarities between their characters is insane (oda / araki crossover event when,)

The only difference is that doffy is written to be downright evil, while sanji is supposed to be seen in a good/humorous light even though his worst jokes are uh. Not great joke material (momoiro island and all of sanji’s weirdest pervert gags appears behind me). Thanks oda 👍i still get what ur saying though!

And tbh i dont blame you at all for disliking his (or any) character for personal reasons. Its really not that silly. Having recently discovered i might be kinda trans does not do his bits any favors lmao. And as an afab person who hates gender roles and sexism with a burning passion (and almost minored in WGS) BELIEVE ME the treatment of women in one piece pisses me off in a personal way all the damn time. But again, i blame oda for all this. Attacking oda with my hooves at all times every day at every chance

Looping back around to oda/problematic material ur very right. Maybe its bc i was raised on tumblr from age 12 through the worst of the Social Justice Discourse Era but i still get iffy about even consuming content that promotes gross shit in any capacity. I know im bending to the will of randos on the internet who dont even deserve my time or worry, but alas, thats my own problem. I do agree that to some extent i’ll say fuck it and enjoy stuff for my own enjoyment over being “woke” or whatever but there’s always a line to be drawn imo. But for op? Yea fuck it im finishing this damn historic manga if it kills me

I AGREE ABT FEELING LIKE THE STRAWHATS ARE REAL PPL…CALL ME SILLY. Part of it is the fact they’ve been around so long that half of them have existed for as long or longer as their actual canon age. Like. THEY’VE EARNED THAT HUMAN EXISTENCE AT THIS POINT RIGHT,

Nah but their characterization is pretty damn well done if youre one of the characters oda doesnt sideline coughrobinfrankychopperbrookcoughcough

And YES. YES I NOTICED THAT PARALLEL. I DIDNT SAY ANYTING BC I’D SEEN IT BEFORE ONLINE BUT I. WAS SO EMOTIONAL OVER IT. the fact that luffy is so special of a person to the whole crew that he can mirror people as important as their late mothers and just. augh,/. Fuck. they say the same line with that same smile….it’s just great storytelling. I dont like oda either but unfortunately he’s damn good at what he does most of the time. (am. Am i your favorite sanji lover. Is that me. Im so honored. he is such a mess but he is My Mess. Please tell me ur fav characters in the next ask (strawhat and otherwise!!))

Also damn u totally did one up me. Uhhh here since ur apparently a zoro lover pls take some of these drawings i did of him that i keep forgetting to finish/post in an attempt to one up ur one up)

#asks #replies #microphone effect #hey why is zoro so hard to draw btw </3 #i always tag these as asks and replies but i'll start tagging them as #march anon #too in case you ever need to see if i've replied!

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bruja1837 · 2 years

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Random Rant #1

((Flavor of the day: a base of “people enjoy many different things and it’s wonderful how unique people can be!” mixed with a bucket load of “it’s ok if your interests/range of knowledge isn’t that diverse because it’s YOUR life and YOU get to decide the comfort hyperfixation/special interest!” Since ADHD brain decided to put a bookmark on the original thought because it remembered a very specific bs extrovert opinion and decided that it must die by my blade.)) ((edit. Tagging led to what is essentially a second post about ADHD train of thought)) 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 ❤️GO WILD! YOUR INTERESTS AND LIFESTYLES DONT NEED TO BE TRAPPED IN A SINGLE NICHE! don't get me wrong, If you got a hyperfixation or some kind of specific thing that brings you joy than power to ya! Im not saying you gotta branch out into things you aren't interested in to have "well rounded interests". trust me, I’ve been on the other end of that conversation plenty a times, and I STILL don’t give a fuck about learning about stuff that I’m not interested in so I can be the fucking circus clown and entertain strangers in conversation!

🧡 Counterpoint: if you wanna info dump to me about something you like I WILL LITERALLY TAKE NOTES AND LOVE YOU ALL THE MORE FOR IT! BECAUSE WHILE IT MAY NOT BE ON MY MIND, ITS CLEARLY SOMETHING THATS IMPORTANT TO YOU AND IM HONORED THAT YOU TRUST ME ENOUGH TO BE COMFORTABLE OPENING UP ABOUT YOURSELF!!! But the fact of the matter is, I’m not learning about recent trends for the sole purpose of making conversation with random people at the dollar store. Especially if I’m likely to never see them again.

💛This isn’t a jab at people who are “hip” and “with the times” btw, it’s just not my cup of tea, so it’s weird to learn stuff for a possible conversation that I’m unlikely to have since I’m an ambrivert and thus not the type to go out of my way and partake in small talk with people I don’t know. But if I DO make a friend who’s reliably up to date, I will absolutely use them for updates (this is a tribute to the time I had to ask “what the FUCK is a “poggers”???” )

🧡Helpful tip. if you wanna continue having a conversation with someone, and they talk about something you don’t know about, all you have to say is “interesting, tell me more” . YOU DONT NEED TO PLAY A BINGO GAME WITH A GOOGLE WHEEL OF FORTUNE! If you wanna START a conversation, #1 coming to me for advice was a horrible decision really, and #2 JUST GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW! If you get a negative response (they mock you for not knowing stuff) DITCH THEY ASS! IT AINT WORTH IT! ❤️I'm just saying you should enjoy things that make you happy without worrying if it's imperfect! YOU CAN BE A JUMBLED MESS OF A BEING! YOU CAN BE SIMPLE AND STREAMLINED! YOU CAN BE THE TRAIN ON A FEW TRACKS CRASHING THROUGH EVERYTHING IN YOUR WAY! DECORATE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WITH THAT ONE CONFORT INTEREST! HAVE EVERYTHING YOU OWN BE A CONTRADICTING MESS OF EVERYTHING YOUVE LOVED OVER THE YEARS! ITS YOUR LIFE AND YOU GET TO DECIDE WHERE YOU SOURCE YOUR SEROTONIN! PICK WHATEVER BRAND/FLAVOR OF SEROTONIN YOU LIKE! IGNORE STUPID ELITISTS WHO SAY YOU SHOULD PICK THE BRAND WITH LESS HAPPY CHEMICAL VALUE! ONLY CHOSE EXPENSIVE BRANDS (either literal money or metaphorical energy tax) IF YOU LIKE THE FLAVOR AND/OR COMES WITH GOOD INVESTMENT! JUST BECAUSE YOUR TIME HAS TICKED CLOSER TO THE END DAYS DOESNT MEAN YOU CANT KEEP RAKING IN SEROTONIN! PAINT THE WALLS LIKE SHERBERT ICECREAM! GET A PINK LEPORD PRINT COUCH! STARE DOWN THE IGNORANT FOOL JUDGING YOU IN THE TOY ISLE! KNOW THAT THEY HAVE GIVEN UP ON THEIR CHILDHOOD DREAMS AND WILL NEVER HAVE THE LEGO SET YOU FINALY HAVE!

#Idk how to do the thing where you can hyperlink parts of a post so you can skip directly to the next thought/click for more #so I used different emoji’s for different bookmarks of thought #welcome to the train of thought of a loving dumbass with ADHD #as you can see. The train does not suddenly appear at different stations #it merely has multiple interconnecting tracks #just because the train has changed tracks; that doesn’t mean the original track is lost #you just need to circle back to it. Unfortunately it’s easy to get lost. So it’s actually more like a subway #all the interconnecting rails on a stupidly confusing map makes it easy to get lost #so the next thing you know your sobbing in the passenger seat thinking “WHERE THE FUCK AM I???#I WAS SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE AT MY STOP 3 HOURS AGO!!!”#ADHD #inspiration #rant #rant post #infodumping #istg infodumping is my love language or smthin #interest #Now I’m discussing how to wisely spend serotonin finances? What happened to this post-#Bruja1837

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war-torn-and-collateral-damage · 2 years

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Okay, so updates

So results of the heart Monitor came back, on top of having POTS (which we already know) we learned that I also have Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia which means my heart beats faster than it should and when it goes up because it should (activity, sitting up, anxiety etc) it goes up way higher than it should and then stays up for too long and then my Autonomic Dysfunction kicks in and it's like yo heart whatcha doing stop that and then it goes from rapid 170 bmp to 40 bmp in a second which is why I pass out!!!! So on a heart med, supposed to increase water and sodium (something about how my body retains water) so ya.

Next, after all the hoops my doctor jumped through to get it scheduled, the feeding tube surgery is CANCELLED. Well kind of, postponed? He is wanting to reconsider at a later date after we do a crazy diet to check for multiple food intolerances/sensitivities which we can't do right now because we cant risk cutting the nutrition I am currently able to get as it is already not enough. So we already know I am lactose intolerant, he thinks I may also be fructose intolerant and have a non celiac gluten sensitivity.

My doctor as well as other specialists on my medical team are very much pushing for me to drop weight (I am overweight due to being bed ridden most of the time, plus the gastroparesis causes chronic constipation, Plus the fatigue, chronic pain, frequent subluxations and dislocations w activity etc) so now I am dieting and exercising.

The exercise I swear is literally going to kill me, I get pre syncope or actually pass out at the gym. Frequently. (so now I have to get a fucking Medical alert bracelet) but its kind of aweful cuz like I be passing out and can't breathe and my legs turn purple but I love working out!!!! I feel so happy and I enjoy pushing myself but then like I am down ALL DAY over it, its funny cuz with the autonomic dysfunction, the POTS and the IST they all cause an exercise intolerance but here are multiple medical professionals being like we know this isnt whats best for you BUT healthy is equated to thin in Modern Day society so get thin no matter how it harms you. (Obviously they dont actually say it like that to me. Thats me paraphrasing what they beat around the bush to say)

This has hardcore triggered my ED thoughts which of course I feel like I cant talk to my doctor about as he has told me if I ever relapsed symptomaticlly with my Anorexia we would have to find me another doctor because he cant handle that (he had alot of ana patients on his case load at one point and it almost caused him to leave medicine) and I was like no problem, sustained remission and weight restored for like 7 years and now here we are, according to my therapist EDs are really common in people with autism due to the hyperfixation and black and white thinking but I feel really guilty that I am struggling again so Im trying not to get to stuck on it and just like, I dont know, I dont wanna get sick like I was back then. Im sure my long time followers remember the hospitalizations, the many inpatient treatment stays and then the multiple feeding tubes, twas not a good time.

I finally got my adaptive shoes!!!!

They zip on so I don't have to tie them!!!!!!!!!! I can do it all by myself!!!!!!!! #SmallVictories (Notice the red legs? Autonomic Dysfunction + POTS = Lobster Limbs)

Anyways, if anyone wants to help me with wishlist items that'd be cool. It has my usual incontinence protection, some vitamins and nutrition supplements as since they opted not to do the tube I am back to square 1 with my malnourishment and failure to thrive and some other seemingly random health related items. Any help is appreciated, love you guys lots!!!

#mine #personal #incontinence #me #help #donations #POTS #inappropriate sinus tachycardia #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #eds #ehlers danlos syndrome #seizures #autism #disabled #disability #gastroparesis #gastric dysmotility #urinary incontinence

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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

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Hello I have returned for Childe Day(tm) after having to deal with a couple of crises and some making of homemade coffee crumble ice cream to celebrate--

A NYWAY, LEAKS SJDBSB MY BAD, I DIDN'T SPECIFY THEY WERE LEAKS--but ye bestie, I have,,, burnt myself out playing genshin 😭 I ended up hyperfixing on it for months to the point my storage got hecking decimated, so no more playing for me unfortunately 😔😔 not like that'll stop me from watching those sweet, sweet trailers, tho 👀

G o sh, the man?? Is still whipped for you??? And while yes it is very sweet holy frick Childe one ring and wedding was eNOUGH--okay but! During one (or maybe even a couple) of your sparring matches you end up putting a little too much force than expected, resulting in you fretting over him because while yes, he has dealt with worse, you would rather not have opened up any of his wounds (or give him new ones for that matter). So please--just imagine him going all soft and heart-eyed as you bombard him with worried questions and apologies and momentarily forget that you two were just sparring moments ago. 💓😔 oh and!!! Childe coming home after a rough day?? And you usher him inside and help him unwind with some good food and a bath? Maybe run your hands through his wet hair with some shampoo? You singing him to sleep this time??Just--there's something about being able to help bring some comfort to him after having an exhausting time outside that makes me soft man 👉👈

aJDBDDJBSNS W E L L. I shall take great honor in being the first of the many victims you and War Criminal Ed Sheeran (germ version) will slaughter for your honeymoon, then 😌 wait but cULTIVATING?? B RUH HOW YOU GONNA CULTIVATE HIM? BY FEEDING HIM WHILE PLAYING ONE OF GRIFFIN'S SONGS IN THE BACKGROUND?? HUH????

-🌻

coffee crumble ice cream sounds so good oml— ehem, i’m sorry that you seem to be having a rough time. i hope it gets better for you soon!

ah… well ye i dont do leaks so i dont know anything ahgshahshsja— i havent hyperfixated on smth for this long and im lowkey scared that i’ll get burnt out bc i dont want to stop playing or writing for genshin seeing as i have invested too much on it alr. would do it again tho ✌️

their entire relationship is so sweet and comforting and it’s very simple but you just feel the sincerity and love and aidguabdhahsvshbdusnwjqoakanimcrying. childe would deffo pull you into him, just tumbling into the floor when you start rambling w your apologies. it’s just one of those moments where he realizes how much he loves you and ew he’s so gooey and sappy but he’s nuzzling his face into you and ig you can overlook this just one more time. also!! he would pamper you the next morning after his tough night. a little payback and it usually starts w a breakfast in bed and a five minute turned hour long cuddle. add in a few little smooches and it’s heaven on earth indeed. at this point i cant even call myself soft. i’m liquid or smth.

it’s a great honor indeed. imagine being patient zero of this hot uh germ couple. sounds awful but! me + childe = best ship wbk. i actually forgot i mentioned anything abt cultivating him but idc anymore. i’m gonna make my mans strong no matter what the cost is. to hell w my sanity. if he needs to listen to rasputin tartaglia version 5 billion times then so be it.

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : 🌻 •°ˎˊ˗

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catsnraincoats-archive · 4 years

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my favorite thing is telling NTs exactly WHAT the symptoms of my mental illnesses are because otherwise they. really dont get it.

I have ADHD "Well thats not an excuse" No you dont understand. ADHD makes me:

Have consequence blindness, so I don't realize doing or bot doing something will impact me. I cant help this

Need constant sensory input. In a classroom or house where its the same every day I'm bot getting enough input to focus 100% of the time

Have memory lapses and gaps. My brain is wired differently and the way it operates makes it difficult for me to have a full and linear memory

React negatively to criticism. This is called Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It makes me take everything to heart, no matter how small. I'm not "overreacting", My brain just can't tell the difference between personal preferences/jokes, and genuine insults most of the time.

Experience executive dysfunction. My brain doesn't look at the big picture more so than it looks at the little steps it takes to get there. And I do mean every step. I get overwhelmed by how much it takes and have difficulty starting at all.

Make too many connections. I don't jump around to vastly different subjects, my brain just goes lightning fast through multiple things to get from point A to point B.

Ask the same question multiple times. Again, ADHD causes poor memory so I will either not remember asking it, or not remember answering.

Make it hard to focus on things I dont want to do. The way my brain works is I get attached to one of a few things at once and thats all I can think about at any given time. Its more than an interest, it is an all-consuming thought that does not leave my brain until the next one.

Make everything dull. ADHD results in dopamine receptors being less active. This causes symptoms of depression.

I have autism "how does that matter?" w e l l, it makes me:

Get overloaded when there is too much sensory input. all of my senses- particularly sight and sound- are far more sensitive than a neurotypical's, which means more input goes into my brain. When too much goes in I get overwhelmed and it goes haywire.

Not make "obvious" connections well. You may think something is obvious, but thats because you're allistic. While allistic brains take old information and apply it to new situations, autistic brains will usually get a blank slate for new things. This makes it harder to make the right connections

Not express emotions "correctly". Even if I'm happy I might have a neutral face. Its not that I'm sad, I just don't express things the same as you. My body language and how I talk about things are better indicators.

More tired around people. I do like hanging out with people, but I constantly have to mask my symptoms and that majes it harder. Masking is where I try and act neurotypical. This is tiring because its essentially acting as a different person 24/7.

Ramble about the same thing multiple times. I have these things called Special Interests. Much like the hyperfixations I mentioned before, they're an all-consuming thought. I like talking about them with people I trust.

I have depression "You're just sad" Thats not all it is. Is also makes me:

Extremely fatigued. The chemical receptors in my brain that I should be getting motivation from aren't as active, so all my energy goes down. A lot.

Put less work into things. I always think "Oh, I can always just opt out and kill myself" so I don't really see the point in putting 100% effort in.

Feel overwhelmingly empty. I don't know how else to describe it. Just. numbness.

Get brain fog. The constant of numbness and an inability to function well makes me get trapped in my own head and I can't focus.

Be "lazy". This isn't actually laziness. My brain is constantly telling me that I'm too tired to do it, it that I'm not good enough, or something. Please understand that it isn't just me bot wanting to do work.

Get irrationally angry. I really can't explain this one. It is a symptom I try to maintain but I ask you to be patient.

#long post #suicide tw

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iceglade · 4 years

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i made a thread on twitter about this but i've been thinking about vanilla vs royal i cant handle how happy i am that royal has made ppl like akechi more, not just for "hes hot" reasons bc ppl love that but winning over reddit* folks who dislike many fanon takes for being too wooby,

not that i particularly care for Wooby bc ive been in fandom for ages and i like seeing ppl happy - i know theres a certain degree of allowance when it comes to twisting canon characterization for content, because you're the content creator, its in your hands and cmon-

but especially with royal i think akechi's serious edge "won over a lot of people" who can now respect him for how he approached refusing the dream world, i think thats something they can understand and appreciate - ESPECIALLY when a lot of ppl's beef with vanilla akechi was "daddy doesnt love me boo hoo" which is a GROSS misunderstanding/simplification of his EXTREMELY complex character, which was barely covered or etc bc of vanilla's horrid writing -- over all! its not JUST him - BUT, royal provided such a good opportunity to show off akechi's character, through giving him more screentime and VERY IMPORTANTLY: Plot Relevance like how, say mementos mission shows off joker's need to be helpful bc hes a deep-feeling person, or scramble showing off haru and makoto and the other thieves by drawing them against the new characters to compare and contrast and give them Time to BE, - royal gave akechi time to recover from the frankly AWFUL vanilla narrative decision to shoot and shove him off like chopped liver and never mention him again, so that many ppl's impression of akechi goro was of an incomprehensible, annoying character who blew up and then acted like he dont knowww know bodaay haghnaghnahgna

i joke but SERIOUSLY a bad first AND last impression, REALLY...

ahh. im just surprised !! every time someone says they like him or that they disliked him earlier but dont post-royal or etc etc it always takes me by surprise even after all this time !! it makes me very happy -though even as i focus on how happy i am that people like his character, even streamers talking about his ass (what ass... ... cindy thats bone) or etc- i shouldnt, but i still count it as a sort of win because my standards are so low ;-;.. i dont like sexualizing characters (of any gender or sexuality, dont worry ^-^'') but the point of it all is that the amount of stannery is .. stunning i think, from all ends of the fandom, when i think about how nervous vanilla felt to me. if im wording this all right.

-- that being said. obviously there are ppl who still dont like him, VEHEMENTLY, and everyone gets so passionate about him and everything that tension and fights erupt very very quickly - it makes me wonder what about royal didnt hit with them, but hit with other people, in a Genuinely Curious kind of way. not that im not suuper passionate about goroboying, because, i am !! royal makes me very happy and i stay out of fights as best as i can because i know, ACUTELY, how PAINFUL it is to have a hyperfixation broken. nauseous furious shaking heart aching - its heartbreak !! i'd rather die before i inflicted a pain like that on someone. + id rather remember something for the love i felt for it than the harm.

(though while i'm here, people who were in the "# p5r spoilers" tag remember what happened a little while ago shortly after royal jpn came out , though that's for a whole other post about the fascinating history/sociology of that particular event, 👁✨)

- its not about me having to choose between a lesser of two evils. thats not my point

no matter how intensely my heart is in it, i want to be able to say that you can feel how you feel about characters, though any misinformation sits badly with me in hyperfixation hell. funnily enough, while back on the topic of Agency, which goro is in some dire need of - which may be the root of why so many femme-presenting folk or lesbians are fond of him, + respecting women + sex workers + etc GORO AKECHI CAN BE SOMEONE SO PERSONAL ACTUALLY-

* - oh, backreading my own post - i didnt mean to specify redditors as if they're the only ppl i'm talking about, but it was the first to come to mind ; i'm just thinking a lot about how it seems like people really like the light royal was able to display him in, both as a delightfully entertaining UNHINGED EDGELORD and a very focused, goal-oriented, respectable ally, to the point that people are MUCH more open about how much they love him nowadays, which does bring me no end of joy - its no surprise that the new appreciation, as well as atlus ... highlighting ..... aspects ...... of blask ...... and the new content, of course the fandom treats him like this, - thats fandom. this is how people do i suppose. from a witness' viewpoint. hdngngm

i see all i know all 👁 i will keep all of my opinions right here and then one day i will die. but. i'll be honest. despite everything. im actually really happy.

#don't mind me #persona 5 #p5r spoilers #i mean to post more here ! the app is just slow and saddening #oops! left out 5 tweets. edited in now

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forgedraptor · 3 years

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I wonder how many people are truly hyperfixated on something or someone, like for me, i can only focus and stay long on a stream if the person im hyperfixating in is in it; Its only when theyre there is when i can put my full attention on whats happening

And its not that i dont like what other people are doing or i get bored of it, its just when the subject of whats happening doesnt concern my hyperfixation, i just cant compell myself to stay

Its like my brain is just wired for that certain person or thing and stuck there

It doesnt matter how intense or fun a stream or video is, my brain just cant seem to focus on it at all if they arent there; and just makes me want to search other content of my hyperfixation somewhere else (like art, music, old streams and etc)

And like in Dreamsmp, my current hyperfixation is Georgenotfound and his content and the only other person i can watch is DropsbyPonk cz his streams are always so fun and calming for me

These two are the only ones that make me watch myct content, kind of; cz its only when they are there on their streams, or when theyre hanging out with other people is when im capable of watching a full vod or live stream

Its not that i dont know whats going on, i watch some live streams and such but most of the dsmp lore i know is from people talking about it, or like short lore videos on yt

Its just that i just cant stay for the whole stream at all, esp if they arent in it; My brain just cant seem to process enough focus for me to do it

Like in relations to the first Lmanburg war/bombing i was honest to God only watching George, i wasnt and i never watched the other streams even though i was really interested and wanted to know what it was like, i just couldnt do it, i couldnt focus hard enough to do so

I just sort of always gravitate towards what i hyperfixate on, even when i dont want to, or when i want to do or watch something else, it literally occupies my head like brain rot, and sticks there like glue

Kind of how my attention span is literally on my hyperfixation and only that, unless its short enough fr me to quickly watch and learn about

Idk, this is kind of rambly, and i doubt people would read this, but i was just curious when others talk about having 'hyperfixations' if it was similar to what i have you know? And if theyre feeling the same way i do but yeah

#i wont tag gnf or ponk on this cz this is more me rambling lol #personal #fr rants #my thoughts #hyperfixations

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libra-araelty · 4 years

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Hello!

My name is Neo. I am a neurodivergent young adult from the United States.

Neurodivergent, you say?

Yes! Neurodivergent means my brain does not function the same way that a typical human does. However that does not stop me from living a normal, everyday life just like everyone else!

I have Asperger’s Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MaDD), and Dyscalculia, all diagnosed. It is also highly suspected that i have Bipolar Disorder and Trichotillomania (TTM), suggested to me by people who have either condition.

Being subject to these conditions, I have quite a few struggles in my daily life. I have sensory issues, so things like uncomfortable clothes and strong scents can make it so I’m unable to function at full capacity. If these sensory issues are pushed further and further, I am at risk of going into a sensory overload or a meltdown. That only happens very rarely for me, though.

My attention span is very flaky, and I have a difficult time staying on one topic for long periods of time. I need constant changing stimuli for me to not burn out while on a task. This ironically contributes to hyperfixation, an intense focus on one particular thing for a period of time. I know, that seems like the opposite of what I said before, but they are linked. See, hyperfixation isn’t exactly something that can be forced. When hyperfocusing, I may not be able to take myself out of that particular focus, and it consumes all my thoughts for however long my brain decides to hyperfixate on it. This contributes to my flaky attention span because instead of being able to force myself to focus on something im supposed to be doing, instead the brain goes “no, you’re going to think about this one thing and we’re going to make it very hard for you to focus on anything BUT this one thing. Special Interests (SI’s) follow a similar, yet more intense pattern. SI’s last much longer, if not lifelong for me. Theyre more prominent and effective on my life than my hyperfixations.

This is where MaDD comes into play. MaDD is a condition that can be adopted and unlearned. The DSM doesn’t recognize it as an official disorder, but it is a condition that exists in many people, especially people with attention or anxiety related contitions. MaDD shares a lot of traits with cases of addiction too, however this one is much easier to take control of and is not exactly harmful. The first word, maladaptive, can be broken in half: Mal and Adaptive. Mal means bad or poor, and adaptive means the ability to adapt. Maladaptive Daydreaming basically means daydreaming that causes poor adaptation skills. MaDDers are typically those who have conditions like Autism, AD(H)D, OCD, General Anxiety, and Dyslexia. Most people adopt the technique of Maladaptive Daydreaming in their childhood or early teens and if not caught early on, can last their entire lives. However, MaDD isn’t essentially a harmful thing. Like I said, it’s easily controlled. You may be asking, “what exactly is it about MaDD that causes poor adaptation? its just daydreaming.” MaDDers daydream at an average of 6 hours minimum a day. These daydreams are intense and easily triggered by everyday things like music, art, friends, even normal emotional events. MaDDers tend to use these dreams as an escape from reality but also a reality of their own, like a lucid dream but for your waking self. The daydreams tend to have intricately woven worlds, stories, chracters, and plots, all feeling just as real to the dreamer as the rest of life itself. MaDDers tend to daydream to escape real situations they may not want to be a part of and sometimes even cancel plans just to continue to daydream.

Why are you telling me all of this? This all seems so personal and insignificant to me.

This is FAR from insignificant to anyone. You may not be Autistic or a MaDDer or even neurodivergent, but I know that as a human being you still have lots of struggles, just like me. Ive told you all about my struggles and you’re probably thinking “wow how pathetic, they cant control their own brain.” Yeah actually, I can. Even if you weren’t thinking that, (which I actually highly doubt anyone was thinking that I just wanted to put an example of worst case scenario) what if I told you that no matter what, no matter who you were or what you were going through, you can still grab hold of yourself and make your life yours? You better believe it, because despite all the conditions I just told you I have, I have taught myself to make my own path in life and not let my struggles decide what my fate is. I believe anything is possible with a little patience and elbow grease, so thats why I have made this blog. It is sorta a combination of a journal, an advice blog, and an inspirational quote blog. I want to be able to share my knowledge of my identity and experiences in order to hopefully inspire someone to get up out of the hole theyre stuck in and make their life their own again! I love the conditions I have, and I use their benefits as my superpowers and dont let the negative aspects of them hold me back. They are a part of me and who I am and I will treat them with just as much love and care as I should treat myself, and hopefully you can treat yourself with the same amount of love too <3

With love,

Neo

P.S.

Heres a couple more fun facts about me!

My biggest special interests are Homestuck, Dragons, and literally just identity in general and have been special to me for almost 5 years now

I love music and my favorite artists are Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy, OneRepublic, Vance Joy, hi i’m Case, Of Monsters and Men, and Watsky!

I love to draw and play D&D! I love the character creation and I’m currently working on my own campaign

My personality labels are Sun Libra, Moon Sagittarius, Rising Taurus, INTP-T, 5w4, 541, Ravenclaw, Thunderbird, Seer of Heart, Dersian, True Neutral, Blue-Green Paladin, Firebender, and Skywing Elf

If I were a D&D character I’d be a true neutral forest gnome sorcerer sage who wields a katana and raises dragons

My favorite movies are How To Train Your Dragon (1&2), It, Star Wars, and Pete’s Dragon (2016). My favorite shows are The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, The Dragon Prince, Camp Camp, Gravity Falls, Twelve Forever and The Mandalorian

I love making aesthetics and stimboards, my favorite colors are blue violet, cornflower, sapphire, teal, spring green, and bubblegum pink. I love pastel kawaii fashion because of these colors

I either want to become a cartoonist or a counselor as a career, or both and be able to use one to help the other

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azoraahai · 4 years

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hi hello, it’s your fav chaotic disaster here! since it is nearing the end of the decade/2019 here ( i know some of y’all are already enjoying the new year bc timezones lol ) but i just wanted to take the time and mention a few peeps that really kept me grounded this year. this is not a follow forever bc im lazy as fuck so pls enjoy this mess of me rambling lol!

even if you aren’t tagged, there are special mentions for each group im under so please read if you have the time! please note that each and every single one of you has made 2019 so much better cuz we all know it was hella rough so im very thankful for all of you!

this is hella long so everything will be under the cut :)

oc mutuals ⤵

my one and only :: @daisyjohvson my ride or die, my best friend, my beautiful sister, my other half. there are no words that could articulate how much you mean to me. you are my person and nothing could ever change that. i know we both have been busy this year, but im so glad we always do our best to chat no matter what time it is for us. you are my everything and i adore and love you so fucking much. i hope 2020 will finally be the year we meet after being friends for almost five years. i wish you the best of luck for the start of a new decade babe xx.

satanic bitches 2/3 :: @freakingbradleys @fleetwoodmcs god, it still blows my mind that my two idols talk to me on a daily. amanda, kayla, you guys have brought such a new perspective into my life and i cannot thank either of you enough for it. you guys are so encouraging, thoughtful, amazing, and supportive. i know i can tell you guys anything and you would be super honest with me and i cannot explain how much i appreciate that. thank you both for enduring the mess of 2019 with me.

my chaotic twin :: @emiliachrstine emilia, my love, it has been a pleasure talking with you via tumblr and snapchat facetime. you have brought so much laughter in my day while i was at college and i am 100% sincere when i say i needed those talks sO MUCH! you know some of the challenges i was facing so i just wanted to say thank you for being so fun to talk to and always listening to my endless ranting ( especially the cLASS SIX FELONY bit ). im so thankful we got closer this year and i love you so so so so soooo much bb!

the enabler buddy :: @moirei first of all, i cant believe how much we’ve been talking recently! i’ve always wanted to talk to you more and im highkey upset that it took me this long to reach out to you again, but anyways, as john mulaney would say, tHe PaSt Is ThE pAsT. thank you for letting me ask you sooooo many questions about sw, enabling me with all of these spur of the moment ideas, and for being such a wonderful friend! you are so kind, encouraging, and helpful! thank you so much for everything bb!

long lost sister :: @nellie--crain rachel, honey, you are a light in my life. anytime you message me, i already feel 100000x happier. you are like an older sister to me and i love you to the moon and back! i love all of your ocs and our xovers so much ( especially robeck bc otp ) and i hope we come up with more stuff in the near future! i hope 2020 graces you with so much happiness and joy, my love!!

some of my ride or dies :: @chlobenet @peterparcour @hopemikaelsvns @thetenthdoctorscompanion @drewtanner @princes-jasmine @aaudace @killinbills thank you all for being so amazing, talented, and wonderful! you all have played a significant part in my 2019 and i hope you all know that!! y’all are so awesome seriously xx

the rest of my oc mutuals :: thank you guys for sticking around as my hyperfixations constantly change once i find a new thing lol. i hope to chat with you all some more in 2020 and the years to come! please remember that each and every one of you is talented, creative, and beautiful! i wish you all the best of luck for this upcoming year and know that i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

giffing mutuals ⤵

the other half braincell :: @yelenabelovaa fleur, my darling, what an honor it is to be your wife! we got so close sO FAST and i cant imagine my life without you. you’re the jake to my tom, and if that doesn’t explain how chaotic we are then idk what does. thank you for being there right away when my dog died unexpectedly like i cannot tell you how much i appreciated you on the phone with me until someone irl was there to help me. thank you for always being so selfless, kind, and an incredible friend. i love you so much and let’s hope we get to meet in 2020!!!

goddess of parallels :: @andthwip the fact that you follow me is still absolutely mind blowing! also the fact that you tag me in your gifs is eVEN MORE mind blowing! i’ve admired your work for quite a while and let me just say, your ideas are unmatched!! you have such an eye for detail like no one can do what you do!! thank you so much for being a great mutual and i hope 2020 will be a wonderful start of the decade for you xx

the clown :: @robertpattisons okay dont hate me for putting the clown lol its just your icon and i had to im sorry lmao!! anyways, laiba, hi bb! you are such a talented gif maker and im so glad we became mutuals this year! thank you for being so nice, helpful, and a great friend!! i love you lots and have a great 2020!!!!

chaotic duo :: @colins-farrells sakshi, darling, idk if i ever mentioned this to you but you made me feel so comfortable with my blog. i looked up to you and your amazing chaotic posts and i just wanted to thank you for that! you truly are amazing and ily bunches xx i hope 2020 will be epic for you!!

some of my amazing giffing mutuals :: @lzzieolsn @luke-skywalker @ageofultron @brolinjosh @rosiebetzler @bitony you all are so fucking talented like seriously!!!! thank you all for following my trash can of a blog bc i have admired ALL of you from afar and im still in shock about it!! i hope 2020 blesses you all with happiness, success, and joy!!! i love and adore each and every one of you!!!

the rest of my giffing mutuals :: thank you all for being so fucking nice to me! i only began giffing regularly at the beginning of this year and i made SO many wonderful mutuals ( aka you guys ) because of it! you all have been so helpful and supportive of me and i am so fucking grateful for that!!! 2020 is a new year and the start of a new decade for us!! i wish all of you can enjoy this new beginning!!!

to all of my followers ⤵

hi hello! if you got this far down, congrats!!! i just wanted to say i fucking love you guys so damn much!! no matter what im doing, my current hyperfixation, the ENDLESS amount of shitposting, y’all willingly stick with me and i seriously can’t thank you enough! i know i say that so much, but it’s honestly 100% true! i’ve reached INCREDIBLE milestones because of all of you!! so seriously, thank you! 2020 is a fresh start so let’s make this year fucking amazing!!!

#still have an hour left of the decade but happy new year to those already in 2020 #i love all of u and i hope u all know that #enjoy the header of the best baby ever #joey talks

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