#i don’t want to be abused anymore i just want to feel safe in my own fucking home
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of course my mom is trying to guilt me into staying, by using her tears 😑
#.txt#i don’t care anymore#this has been my whole life#she cries and i have to take the abuse because i have to be the bigger person#i’m done doing that#i refuse to sacrifice my mental health and sanity for others#i am no longer being the ‘bigger person’#i am not keeping the peace to please others and make them comfortable#this is just a big middle finger to me and my healing path#i WANT to heal and she won’t let with keeping me in this house#and not letting me break this cycle of toxicity#i want to finally be free#i wanna stop being in survival mode#i want to be able to feel safe in my OWN space#i want to be able to love myself#i want to heal and possibly be a mother#i don’t want my child to suffer like me#no child deserves that#i didn’t deserve it#this should’ve never been okay#why was i not protected when i was supposed to be#i deserve a healthy and safe environment/life
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Idiot ex expected literally everyone around him to bend over backwards to do everything for him because he’s got ADHD and therefore isn’t capable of doing household chores or not breaking my belongings or responsibly managing his finances. He would throw up ADHD as a get out of jail free card literally every single time his behavior hurt me and I just had to accept it. Outright told me one time that trying to teach him how to do chores properly without breaking shit was triggering for him. But then was upset to see me call him an idiot and a coward in the notes on a post I reblogged about how shitty ADHD folks who use their ADHD as reason to never face consequences for their inconsiderate and selfish behavior.
Like yeah ADHD sucks and it requires a lot of difficult managing. But legit if you’re gonna say that it’s “triggering” to be expected to put away dishes without breaking them or take the used kitty litter to the dumpster outside every single day you’re just a pathetic self absorbed piece of shit. ADHD or not behavior like this has consequences and sometimes those consequences are the people you’re living with think you’re a selfish moron they don’t want to live with.
Your RSD is correct here dude, acting like this will make people drop you from their lives. You’re in your 30s and can’t do basic household chores. I had to walk on eggshells literally constantly with him because expressing even the tiniest amount of being upset with him would trigger a full blown self loathing meltdown and then he would be upset at me for hurting his feefees. He’s got ADHD, he’s got RSD, he’s got bipolar, it’s oooobviously my fault for triggering him and I need to calm him down and coddle him and reassure him that I’m not going to leave just because he hurt me repeatedly and did nothing to make up for hurting me or stop that behavior that was hurting me. He’s not capable of doing better and it makes him feel insecure that I deserve better treatment he’s not capable of giving me. I better reassure him that I’m okay with his shitty treatment of me or else he’ll fuckin kill himself. No he doesn’t want to go to couples counseling, that would be a waste of time and money.
Wow I’m such a shitty partner for not getting rid of all the glassware in my home so he won’t break it constantly. Wow I’m such a shitty partner I didn’t remind him to maintain his friendships outside of our relationship, obviously not telling him to remember to talk to and spend time with his friends is the same as somehow forbidding him from seeing them. Wow I’m such a shitty partner I don’t want to cook literal goddamn chicken rice & veg meals for his fucking dog and foot the bill for it, just like I was paying all of the other household bills as well as our entire shared food budget and cooking our meals every day because he would break shit and set fires if I didn’t. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for expecting him to actually pay the landlord his portion of the rent. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for smoking so much of his weed. Wow I’m such a shitty partner I won’t allow his awful cat in my home again after it slashed my fucking eyeball and put me in the ER. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for being constantly made sick by the filth and squalor he created faster than I could clean up without help. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for expecting to be helped with the cleaning. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for not accommodating his ADHD and letting him treat me like garbage without consequence. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for having needs and boundaries. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for not tolerating his abuse forever.
It was abuse.
He abused me.
Having ADHD does not make your behavior not abusive. ADHD does not absolve you of being an abuser. There are plenty of ADHD folks in this world that have actual honor and dignity about themselves. Don’t act like ADHD is a free excuse to abuse others. That’s not RSD talking that’s your conscience, listen to it. Treat those who care about you with genuine respect and they won’t reject you.
#this is goggles#bleh I’m cranky and lonely but at least I’m not dealing with his idiocy anymore#I would very much like to be held and loved#not loved for how silently and gracefully I can endure being abused#I want to be loved gently#I want to feel safe to express negative emotions with them in a healthy manner in ways we can work on solutions and build a better love#I want to feel like I don’t have to be the only responsible person in charge of everything all of the time#I want to live in a clean home that doesn’t make me sick with masses of spilled soda and cat piss on every surface and bugs and mold#I want to have my belongings regarded with care and have them replaced when occasional mishaps happen#I want to not have to constantly be parenting someone older than myself because they completely lack basic skills and emotional regulation#I want to be able to rely on my partner not just be a totally reliable rock to them without support of my own#I want to relax and feel at peace in my own home not constantly stressed by their behavior and shit pets#I want to have people in my life who make me feel secure and safe and supported and seen#I gave up everything to leave that life behind me I deserve and need better from the folks around me#it sucks and it’s lonely but I’m going to find better#hopefully in Seattle I’ll be able to find friends and love and support I need#I really hope so this life is so lonely and my body aches so much#When I feel like I miss him it is not because he was a good partner it is because I haven’t ever had a partner to live with before him#I will find a new partner who will want to live with me and will treat me better#I will get the love and respect and support I need elsewhere he won’t give me what I need#just gotta ignore that irritating feeling of missing him it will not benefit me he will only hurt me and make me feel like I’m at fault#even his friends think he’s a douchebag I wish I would’ve listened to them early on when they were trying to warm me#bleh my body aches I really need some touch and affection#I hate possessing this almost esoteric knowledge that being held reduces the pain in my body this was so much easier to handle before#I’m going to be 27 in a couple weeks I’m still so young but I feel so old#I have never been good at dating and I loathe having to date to find a partner can I just skip ahead to the part where I have a kind lover?#I want to have my back rubbed and neck kissed I want to be held while I sleep and feel safe and at ease#I’d take it even for a single night right about now it’s been months and I know I have months more ahead of me before I’ll even be hugged#wish I had the dough and know how to hire a companion for the evening#not even really for sex just like I really need to be held for a little while being held is so important for my mental and emotional health
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ʕ•̫͡•ʔ
#i don’t appreciate my brain making me break down crying again while i was trying to sleep#i have to be up in an hr to catch the bus to uni#but i also can’t remember when i let myself feel anything regarding my living circumstances#i cant tell if its the annual end of the year crisis or just pent up grief#i just cant believe its going to be 3 years since things have gotten this bad#and i still have no control over it#like. i cannot do anything about it.#and it just gets worse#and also the fact that its going go b almost a year since i last tried to off myself l mao#and i thought id be better by now but#im just so fucking tired and sick#i want to stay home and not exist but i have a group presentation#it’s individually graded#maybe being miserable over uni will keep my mind away from these thoughts for now but idk#my life is really just one massive ticking time bomb#i am so tired#i miss being /genuinely/ happy. feeling safe and at ease within my own home. my own life.#i dont want to be like this anymore but theres nothing i can do about it my grief is rooted to this shit house and the even shittier abuse#i am so so so so so sad and tired#but i will go on anyway because. lol. what can i do.
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i’m actually losing it
#we put together so many pieces from our past and it sucks#like i don’t think there is even a full year span until very recently where we weren’t being abused or neglected in some kind of way…#i don’t feel safe and i want to not exist for a while#who the fuck abuses a 2-4 year old because they aren’t the correct version of a christian?#who the fuck takes advantage of a kid while they are in the middle of play pretend?#who the fuck grooms a child as a teacher who knows the kid is in an unsafe living situation?#who the fuck let’s their child be homeless at the age of 10?#who the fuck abuses their patient who isn’t even a teenager yet?#who the fuck tries to kidnap and r*pe their partner whilst knowing that they aren’t even 15 yet?#who the fuck sends their buddies after that same partner for years after the abuse happened?#who the fuck takes advantage of their roommate after using triggers to attempt to hurt a little in a system after they know that system?#who the fuck leaves for weeks only to come back and not give their partners any answers?#i’m so fucking tired no wonder i attempted 11+times#oh yeah what kind of parents straight out tell their kid that they aren’t enough and that they are a disappointment?#i just don’t feel like i should be around anymore like i’m losing friends and people in my life at a rapid rate and if i keep this up…#i’ll be alone again and maybe it’ll be for the best#maybe then i can finally finish the job and end it instead of having to keep trying to outrun my past
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i miss my home, i miss my dog, i miss my mom
#dear diary#tw food related#tw weight loss#tw abuse#i want to go home#i feel like begging her to at least let me visit but im trying to be as strong as i can be#i want to go home so bad#she really is intent on making me feel awful about any decision i make that isn’t aligned with what she wants#and i can’t go home#and if i get beat again this time there might not be anyone there for me#it’s just not safe#im feeling a little under the weather#my stomach hurts again and my throat hurts#i’ve lost like 20 pounds because i haven’t eaten a proper meal in so long#i barely feel like eating anymore#it’s really hard taking care of myself right now and i know im doing the best i can and making sure i eat even something small#im grateful that i can learn how to take care of myself in a space where i don’t also have to be worrying about myself financially#things will eventually be okay! i know that#but im just sad#and things are a little difficult#and i wish i had a little bit more help#im fighting so hard not to fall into a depressive episode and im doing so good but it’s just a tiny bit difficult yknow#im sorry this post is a little sadder today
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mischievous COD ideas😈
Heavily pregnant reader knowing that her hubby doesn’t want to be rough in the slightest with her due to her pregnancy and refrains from punishing her, so she abuses that fully to be a brat
To my sweet sweet brat reader, Im sorry if this is not all you hoped as I am a resident good girl. The one time I was a brat I got degraded (“such a good bitch”) and cried. I hope I do a good job portraying the relationships, if I dont let me know and I will edit it or rewrite sections that dont fit. You also didn’t specify so imma write for my usual set of lovelies. (Im also added Krueger because I’ve recently fallen in love with him a lil bit and he kinda fits thi)
The boys with pregnant brat wife
Price
This man is too worried about helping you get your shoes on. “You’re pregnant, isn’t not being able to see your feet punishment enough?” He’s not going to do much other than pinching you. Whether it’s your ass or your arm, and they’re hard “i had to discipline Soap subtly and im a dad” pinches. He’ll also use pressure points. Give the back of your arm the good pinch and twist. He’s just trying not to take it personally.
Soap
He’s googled what positions he can put you in. He’s googled if its safe for the baby. He has googled what he can and cannot do. He has spoke with your doctors about it, as embarrassing as that phone call was. And for certain punishments, its a long game. Like holding your ice cream you crave hostage until you learn. If he can’t make it sexual, he’ll find other ways.
Ghost
Like Price, he’s also using pressure points. Not the ones that knock you out but the ones that feel weird or make you got “ow”. Cannot get hard and it’s not because you’re not hot its bc he literally gets more flaccid than a limp noodle at the thought of possibly hurting that baby. He’s also very good at holding grudges and every time you brat out and walk all over him, he’s making a note on his phone for later.
Konig
Oh but he just got you to whine and cry you admit you want his cock. He knew eventually he could wait out your little game. “You acted out and now you must wait until I want to give it to you. You ask so nicely though, keep trying. I like when you beg.” He’s so mean, he’d make you wait until after you gave birth and however many times you acted out is how many weeks (or months depending on how he’s feeling) after you have to wait to get any pleasure from him.
Keegan
your toys aren’t doing it for you anymore? Nope. He’ll keep fluttering his fingers over you figure and let you use that tiny dildo he got you that cant even stretch you like he can. That’s all you get. His hands wont even go lower than your waist. They wont even touch close to your nipples. This is real torture. Every orgasm is so unfulfilling. I feel bad for you really. Hope this teaches you.
Gaz
He’s a doormat anyway. I don’t see him punishing anyone. He’s too much of a gentleman. I do believe he’d pull orgasm after orgasm out of you casually when you act up with his hands. Never giving you his dick as much as you beg. Pleading, crying for it, he wont budge. No you can deal with the consequences of your actions while he sits here and watches this movie. “Why aren’t you watching, love? You picked the movie. No, no, stop your whining, just sit and watch.”
Krueger
Sebastian doesn’t care. He’ll find other ways. Like right now you’re legs spread and hands flat against the wall as he spanks your ass, every time he does you have to say thank you and apologize for snapping at him. He knows you’re hormonal, but he’s going to make you apologize. Oh and he’s kissing away those tears and asking you if you understand what you do wrong while running you a nice bath and all the rubs and lotion for your poor butt.
Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!
#cod x reader#call of duty#captain price#john price#konig call of duty#konig x reader#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz x reader#simon riley x you#john soap mctavish x reader#soap mactavish#keegan russ x reader#keegan p russ#cod krueger#krueger x reader#sebastian krueger
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"Using your safeword isn't easy for you."
Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: married life!AU, Angst, Hurt and Comfort
Warnings: this is angstier than I wanted it to be, implied sexual situation, use of handcuffs, she uses her safeword, she gets hurt because she panics, panic attacks, mention of past sexual abuse during her sexwork, besties this is really angsty like omfg, it has a happy ending!
Wordcount: 3.3k
a/n: i wanna give her the biggest hug ever. this was requested by anonie, have fun(?)dude it's angst idk if you can have fun) reading 💗
You are roleplaying tonight. Jungkook has the lead while you are the sub. You feel good. He is gentle, sexy, attentive and constantly asks for consent. You feel so good until suddenly you don’t.
You can’t explain what triggered it. Maybe it was the way he touched your knee. Maybe it was the sudden loud noise of a motorbike driving by. Maybe it was nothing and it just happened.
But all of a sudden the good turns bad and you feel incredibly uncomfortable.
“Red!” you blurt out and then everything becomes just a little blurry, “red! Red! No, I don’t want this! Red!” you are begging even if there is no need to beg because Jungkook is already scrambling to get you untied.
“I’m getting it! Everything’s okay! You’re safe!” he is almost falling over his own words, feeling dizzy in worry. He wants to work fast, but it is difficult because you are fighting the restraints. Like a scared, captured animal trying to escape, “p-please don’t m-move so much. I-I’ll hurt you, please.”
You consented to wearing handcuffs and up until two seconds ago, you liked it. It was hot and sensual and made you feel relaxed because it meant that you could give up control without being tempted to intervene.
Right now it means that you have zero control over what will happen to you and you would rather cut off your own hands than be restrained even a second longer.
“Red! I don’t like this”, you are fighting the handcuffs and that’s when it happens. You hurt yourself.
Because of the excessive wiggling, the handcuffs dug into your wrists and forced a nerve to squish between your muscles.
“Ah, oh my god it hurts”, you get and cry. You rarely cry, but right now you are scared and anxious and in pain.
“It’s okay, you’re safe. Please stay still, I’m getting you out”, Jungkook says with a trembling voice and undoes the handcuffs with shaking hands. He is panting for air, feeling sick in anxiety. Seeing you cry is rare. Seeing you cry from pain is even rarer.
Once free, you clutch your own wrist, pressing it against your chest.
“It hurts”, you get out, sobbing loudly.
“Oh god”, Jungkook gags out, reaching for you only to stop in case he scared you, “my love, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m such an asshole, oh god I’m sorry.”
You can’t assure him right now. You aren’t scared of him, neither are you angry at him. And yet you still can’t reassure him. Not when you’re that scared.
“I don’t want this”, you sob, reaching for him like a drowning person would a lifeline.
Jungkook catches your hands and holds them tightly, staring at your hurt wrist with tears streaming down his face.
“My love, I’m sorry.”
You can’t reassure him yet. You need to be held. To be comforted. To be reminded that you aren’t going to get hurt. It happened so many times. You didn’t want to continue and yet your clients didn’t care. You were tied up and literally helpless and they took advantage of it.
You need to be reminded that this isn’t your reality anymore. That you are safe.
You seek out Jungkook, getting between his legs and pressing yourself against his chest. You are so much smaller than on other days, as if your own anxiety was shrinking you.
“It’s okay, my love. It’s okay, I’m here”, Jungkook assures you, hugging you tightly as his fingers smooth over your hair. He is swaying your bodies slowly, pressing kisses to whatever parts of your head he can reach, “I know, baby, I know. I’m here, baby, I’m here.”
This isn’t your normal panic. Jungkook knows every pattern, inhale, exhale and shake. This is one of your panic attacks. It has been years since he last witnessed something like this, but he still knows what to do. He won’t ever forget the remedies to your attacks. They’re in there next to how you like your coffee in the morning and what weather makes you happy. They’re proof that he loves you and that he always will.
“Breathe with me, baby. It’s hard, but I need you to breathe with me”, Jungkook speaks gently, showing you how it’s done patiently. It’s difficult for you to follow at first, but Jungkook gives you all the time you need, which takes so much pressure off of you. It gets easy to try and match your breathing with his’ when he is so incredibly patient with you.
“That’s it. Breathe with me, babygirl, breathe. That’s it”, he whispers, breathing with you.
It calms him as well. He is sick in anxiety. To hear you scream your safeword and start crying in panic is awful enough, but to have you hurt yourself on top of everything and cry because of it, ruined Jungkook. He is so upset and anxious, that showing you how to breathe is calming him down as well. It’s sweet in a twisted way that in providing you your remedy, he is healing himself as well.
You don’t want to lift your head at first. The attack stopped, but you don’t want to lift your head. You feel humiliated.
You haven’t felt that embarrassed in front of Jungkook ever since you met him.
You get a panic attack because of a stupid fucking noise. You feel fucking pathetic.
You push yourself off of him and out of the hug, getting off of bed without looking at him.
“___ my love?” he calls for you, staring at you with teary eyes.
“I need to be alone”, you say and leave the playroom. You’re too embarrassed to face him.
If one would ask you how to define this moment in your relationship, it wouldn’t be a good one. Dark. That’s how you would describe it. Dark and fucking heartbreaking.
Jungkook follows you, calling your name which you try to ignore. You are so embarrassed.
Jungkook runs after you as you descend the stairs in stumbles and sobs. You are so humiliated, feeling even worse because you have no clothes to cover yourself with.
“My love, please talk to me, please”, Jungkook begs, “I’m so sorry for triggering you. I didn’t wanna trigger you, please don’t run away. Please, I’m so sorry.”
You flee into the bedroom. Jungkook catches the door you try to slam close and slips inside after you.
“Please talk to me, please”, he squeaks out, “I’m so sorry.”
You try to hide in the bathroom. Jungkook isn’t fast enough. The door closes before his nose and locks.
“Please”, he begs, resting his head against the door, “I’m so sorry please believe me, I’m so sorry.”
You don’t think that the panic attack really stopped. Maybe the worst stopped, but you still feel anxious. Having Jungkook beg for your forgiveness behind closed doors isn’t helping. You are prancing, gripping your own hair in distress.
“What can I do? I, I want to help.”
Why did your life have to fuck you up so fucking bad? Why did men do this to you? Why did you have to go through this? Questions you haven’t asked yourself in years come back to haunt you. Why? Why? Why? The word repeats itself in your mind over and over again.
“I’m so sorry, my love.”
Why were these men so cruel? Why were your screamed words silent to them? Why did they hurt you so much?
“Please don’t hate me now.”
Your head turns into the direction of the door. Jungkook’s sobs broke through your racing thoughts and reminded you that you weren’t alone right now, that you have your person looking out for you. And that you currently make him feel as if you hated him.
“Please don’t lock me out, please. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to trigger you. Oh god, I’m so fucking sorry, my love.”
The door unlocks and opens. Jungkook stumbles because he didn’t expect it. He blinks his tears away, meeting your teary eyes.
“My love”, he presses out, contorting his face in painful guilt, “I’m so sorry.”
You shake your head, hoping that he understands that he doesn’t need to feel sorry. You reach for him. Jungkook meets you in the middle and tugs you close, guiding your arms around his waist and cradling you in his arms seconds later. He presses your head against his chest, hiding you away from the world.
“Kookie.”
“Come here, babygirl. I’m here”, he gets out, holding you safely.
The once bared state of your body doesn’t feel humiliating anymore. He is naked as well, reconnecting with you skin against skin. He smells like home. Warm, sweet, safe. As long as you are in his arms, it’s not scary out there.
“I have to tell you something”, you get out.
“Okay. Okay, yes. Tell me baby, tell me”, Jungkook gives you the chance and so you tell him why you reacted the way you did.
Jungkook knows that your life before him wasn’t easy. You told him enough that he isn’t surprised when you flee from anxious situations and why you sometimes revert to pulling away. He knows that such trauma responses can come back even if your life is safe and happy these days. He knows because you told him enough. He also knows that the work you had to do to survive hurt you a lot before you started working at Paradis. He never knew how it hurt you however.
You didn’t feel brave enough to tell him. Tonight it is finally spilling out of you, leaving you in sobs and hiccups and struggles for air, but it is leaving you. Jungkook understands you even when you are crying and fighting for words. He will always understand you, even if he wishes that tonight he didn’t. He can’t believe that the world hurt his treasure in such ways. He feels heartbroken, sick to the stomach and unbearably angry. He keeps asking you what their names were, telling you that he will hunt them down and bring them so justice. You can’t tell him their names because you never learned them. And eventhough you feel humiliated in sharing something so fucking embarrassing with the person you love so much, you can’t stop. It feels so good to finally relief yourself of those memories and in the process, find comfort in his arms.
“I’m sorry”, you whisper. You are in bed by now, lying in his arms with your face nuzzled against his chest.
“For what?” Jungkook whispers, staring at the sheets with dark eyes. He is so fucking angry at the men who hurt you.
“For telling you all of this.”
“Don’t apologise for that. Holy shit baby, don’t ever fucking apologise for that”, he assures you, tilting your head up gently, “I, I just wish that I could do more. That I could make those motherfuckers pay.”
“Yeah, me too”, you whisper, looking into his eyes. You feel numb from all the talking you did, shivering even when under the blanket, “you don’t see me differently now, do you?”
Jungkook shakes his head vigorously and vehemently, furrowing his brows to showcase how serious he was.
“Of course I fucking don’t. I’m glad you told me. Thank you”, he says and brushes his thumb over your cheek. You close your eyes, melting into the gentle touch. It feels so good to be loved by him. Jungkook continues caressing your cheek as he talks, looking at you with soft eyes, “I know it wasn’t easy, so thank you for trusting me and I wanna carry this burden with you from now. Yeah?”
“No. No, please don’t call it like that. I don’t wanna burden you”, you say, looking up at him with anxious eyes.
“You don’t burden me.”
“I, I don’t wanna be looked at differently, please Kook. Don’t, don’t look at me differently now.”
“I won’t, baby. I won’t”, he assures you, kissing your forehead in hopes of calming your thoughts.
“I just s-struggle with submitting. I, I do. It’s so hard to, to do for me be-because of what they did to me and, and the bike was so loud and it triggered me and I’m sorry. I don’t wanna, wanna burden you, I don’t-”
“Shut up”, Jungkook whispers softly, hugging you against his chest, “stop saying that you burden me. You don’t. Let’s take a deep breath together, yeah?”
You breathe with Jungkook.
“There we go”, he praises and caresses the back of your head, “I need you to listen to me now without getting upset, okay?”
You nod your head, listening to him with closed eyes.
“You just told me something which you kept deep inside and now it’s out there and other people know it. I get it, shit like that embarrasses you.”
You shift because he is reading you like an open book and it is just a little uncomfortable. Jungkook lets you wiggle, but still holds you safely, kissing the crown of your head to let you know that you were safe. He keeps talking with his lips against your head.
“And when shit embarrasses you, you wanna run away. I get it, shit like that’s scary, but you don’t gotta be scared alone. I’m right here. With you. And I’ll stay with you. Fucking shit ___, you’re my person. My fucking person”, he says, squeezing you against him gently. He continues talking even if his voice is muffled from the close proximity, “I met you when your life was messy as fuck, I fell for you despite the mess and eventhough we fixed our messy lives these days, I’m aware that darker days can sometimes happen.”
He buries his fingers in your hair as deep as your texture allows it and begins massaging your scalp.
“___ baby, I don’t only love you when life’s good and nice and bright. I also love you when it’s messy and shit and fucking dark. And when you tell me stuff from your past, I’ll get a little upset yeah, but not because of you but because someone hurt my fucking babygirl. Shit, I just wanna protect you from what you had to go through and fight whoever hurt you, but I won’t ever see you differently. Because you’re my person, ___ baby and you’ll always be my person. Okay?”
You nod your head, letting out a small hum of acknowledgment.
“Okay”, he says, kissing your hair, “now, can I take a look at your wrist or do you not feel ready yet?”
You nod your head, “yeah”, you say and scoot back to show him your wrist. You are lying down while Jungkook props himself up on his elbow. He seems so much taller and bigger than you like this and tonight you really need this feeling. You’re strong, confident and rarely need another person to lean on. You are also proud of being so strong and so independent, but all the strength in the world doesn’t mean that you will always feel this way. That you will always be the one wanting to take care of Jungkook or that you won’t ever need to feel small and fragile. You’re just a fucking human and person with feelings which can be hurt so easily. You don’t feel strong tonight or independent. You feel tiny and weak and need Jungkook to take care of you without judgment.
“I can’t see anything. Where does it hurt?” he says, holding your wrist gently as he runs his thumb over your tender skin.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore. I think I just squeezed a nerve”, you speak quietly because you can’t do it any other way, “I’m sorry for wiggling so much and for using my safeword.”
“Hey”, he shakes you by your wrist gently, “sorry’s your forbidden word tonight.”
“Sorry, I mean, yeah I know.”
Jungkook guides your wrist to his lips and kisses it gently.
“I’m glad you used your safeword. Thank you for trusting me. I just hope that you don’t feel unsafe with me now.”
“No, I don’t. I feel safe”, you say, looking up at him from the pillow. Jungkook studies you and how small you make yourself in his presence whilst looking so relaxed doing so. He also knows how much this means with you, feeling reassured that what you are saying is true.
“Thank you for telling me”, he says, relaxing his shoulders, “I felt like throwing up when you cried and then you ran away and I seriously thought that I fucked it.”
“You didn’t.”
“Good yeah, that’s good. You know”, he says and cups your cheek, “I like it when I’m dominant and we can switch the roles, but if you don’t want to switch, I won’t be angry at you. You don’t have to sub just to make me happy. Especially when it means that you have to think of what those assholes did to you.”
“I normally don’t feel this way or think of it. I don’t know why this happened tonight.”
“Something triggered it. It’s sometimes impossible to explain triggers, I get it”, he assures you, “I’m just saying all that because I want you to know that you don’t have to do anything you’re not a hundred percent comfortable with.”
“I know”, you say, gazing up at him, “I feel safe with you and I didn’t feel uncomfortable whenever we switched in the past. I even wanna try it with handcuffs again, I do. I just…I don’t think today was a good mental health day for me. It all got too much.”
“And that’s okay. It got too much and you stopped it, that’s all that matters. I know it was hard for you because of your past experiences, but you did it despite that and you did it so well.”
You look at him because you have to make sure that he is real. He makes you feel so safe without even trying, healing wounds you thought never able to heal. So this is what it feels like to have someone to rely on. It’s been years with him and yet you still sometimes have to pinch yourself to make sure it’s real.
“I feel like I ruined it, seriously”, you confess.
“No you didn’t ruin anything, my love. You really didn’t”, he assures you.
“I’m so embarrassed”, you tear up, “I feel so much shame around my past.”
“Don’t, please don’t. Especially not with me”, he speaks softly, shaking his head vigorously, “this isn’t something you need to be ashamed of. Those assholes who hurt you should be the ones to feel shame, but not you.”
You sniffle, speaking squeakily, “can you tell me one more time that you don’t see me different now?”
“I’ll tell you a million times more if you need it. Of course, I don’t see you differently. You’re my person and I fucking adore you”, Jungkook promises, giving you a reassuring smile.
One you retort honestly and gladly. It feels good to be able to smile after everything which happened. Life really doesn’t seem that difficult when you’re with Jungkook.
“Thank you. I love you so much”, you whisper.
“I love you too, baby”, Jungkook says without hesitation, tracing the small smile lines next to your eyes, “now, why don’t you let me take care of you for tonight, mhm? I’ll run you a hot bath, give you a little face massage because I know your jaw’s tight from crying”, he smoothes his thumb over your jaw, “then we’ll order snackies from your favourite place and watch your favourite show, where I’ll give you so many snuggles and kisses until you fall asleep and I can carry you to bed for even more snuggles. How’s that sound?”
You nod your head.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Amazing”, he says and giggles, “then we’ll do that, baby. Now come on, wrap your arms around me. I’ll carry you. You don’t gotta be strong tonight.”
He’s right. You don’t have to be strong tonight. He’s got you and he always will.
#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook oneshot#jungkook scenario#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts angst#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts scenario#bts oneshot#bts x reader#bts x you#bangtan angst#bangtan fanfic#bangtan fanfiction#bangtan scenario#bangtan oneshot#bangtan x reader#bangtan x you#fanfic: aaol#requested
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Heya ^^ I'm wondering which jjk men do you think r dom/sub/switch?
Hard Doms
They don't make love. They fuck. They want complete control over you and won't tolerate any attempts at taking it from them - if you dare trying, they will punish you harshly.
Definitely the type to fuck your throat, spank you, grab your neck, push your face onto the pillow. You always find yourself begging them to stop but they never care and just keep using you over and over again, like the insatiable primal creatures they are.
Their only goal is to use your body so as to make themselves feel good and satisfy their most primitive and animalistic desires. They don't care about your pleasure and they don't care about satisfying you. They don’t seek connection, they don’t want to open up to you and if you tried to know more about their private and/or professional life, they would definitely tell you that you’re just his personal sex toy, so, you should know your place. They would advise you to stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. To them, your opinions are worth nothing, unless requested by them.
They will manhandle you on the bed like a ragdoll and do whatever they want to. It doesn’t matter if you try to take control or if you become bratty, because they know it will always end the same way – you under them, crying, pleading them to stop while they grin menacingly, thrusting into you at an animalistic pace. Definitely the type of men to say something like “you should’ve thought about that beforehand. Now take your punishment like the good girl you are. If you cum, before I give you permission, you’ll have to handle this cock for another hour”.
They are real menaces; these men will drive you absolutely insane. The mind games they play with you will make you go crazy. You will be having sex over 4 to 7 times a day (depending on their availability). They are absolutely the worst boyfriends, on this list (or husbands, if you, somehow, manage to marry them), and will be terrible parents (very neglectful, demanding and abusive), but will give you the best sex of your life. With these men you have to stay safe - use protection because they don’t care about getting you pregnant. It’s your problem and not their fault. You will, most likely, end up raising the kid alone and if you don’t have a consistent sex routine with them, they will leave you for someone else who will fulfill their needs.
Toys hurt their pride. If you use them, these men will punish you. They will overstimulate you with them until you can't feel your legs anymore, fuck you dumb on their cock and after you cum, they will say something like "why do you use this, if you can't even handle my cock inside you for 10 minutes? Aren't you stupid..."
They will fuck you anywhere, anytime. You belong to them and they will do whatever they want whenever they want. If you’re not available, they will make sure you become available.
Menacingly too good at dirty talking. They will say the most vulgar things to you, while looking into your teary eyes, with a grin on their faces, fucking you roughly, as if their survival depended on it. They have great durability, so they prefer sex with multiple rounds and can last all night long if they want to.
Sessions with these men are very rough. They will wear you out and rearrange your insides. They will make you cry, salivate, moan and orgasm multiple times, throughout the entire deed, leaving your body extremely sore. They don't give a damn about aftercare. You can take care of yourself.
- Ryomen Sukuna, Zenin Toji, Zenin Naoya
Soft Doms
They don't fuck. They make love to you. Very slow gentle passionate lovers who are eager to make you feel good. These men have your pleasure placed as their top priority, always asking you for your consent, wanting to know if it feels good, if you want a faster or slower pace, if you want them to go deeper, if you want a different angle or position, if you want them to pull your hair, if you want them to say dirty things to you, if you want to be fondled or kissed somewhere, if you want them to use a toy on you, etc.
These men seek connection - emotional and spiritual. They trust you, they open up to you, they let their walls down and warmly invite you in. They aren’t making love to a random person. They are making love to the only one they want to spend their lives with.
The most romantic men ever, kissing you while making love to you, staring into your eyes, admiring your beautiful body under theirs, watching how it gracefully moves along their pace every time they thrust into you, while whispering how good you feel and how much they love you, into your ears.
These men usually have a busy schedule so you won’t be making love as often as you’d both like, however, expect doing it at least once or twice a day.
They definitely are the best boyfriends/husbands and will be the best parents. They don’t want you to get pregnant because of their risky professional field and busy schedule, but if it happens, they will be thrilled and will help you in whatever way they can (by studying everything about babies and how to properly care for them, reading material on how to educate and bond with children, making sure you have everything you need in your maternity bag and knowing in which ways he can help before and after the baby is born). They will be there for you and your child and probably will want more kids, after the first one arrives.
In case your sex life is affected by the birth of a child (or some other circumstance), they will handle this, just the same way they handle any other problem or obstacle in your relationship – by discussing it with you, respecting your boundaries and finding a common ground for both of you to stand on, working, as a team, on a solution that will make you both happy, overcoming every challenge, as a healthy and strong couple.
Kings of aftercare. They always want to know if you enjoyed it and/or if you want a round 2. These men will dote on you and help you with whatever you need (cuddles, towels, shower, tissues, food, etc.)
They will definitely make sure you know and you feel all the love they have for you.
- Kento Nanami, Hiromi Higuruma, Okkotsu Yuta, Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Atsuya Kusakabe, Geto Suguru
Subs
They prefer you to have control over everything, so you can set up your own pace and do whatever you want to them. Watching you working so hard, trying to reach your orgasm turns them on even more. They always wait for you to have the initiative and to make the first move.
They enjoy grabbing and groping your hips, butt and chest, while you ride them. They are lazy lovers who prefer laying back, either looking at you, or having their eyes closed shut, savoring every second, while moaning. Sometimes you wonder how these strong masculine men end up looking so frail and desperate beneath you.
They think you look so pretty on top of them - it's the only moment when they can freely scan through you as if they were conducting an extensive and thorough analysis on every detail of your body, wondering how lucky they are for having been the one to snatch your precious heart.
For the most part you will be on top, having the exclusive power to decide whatever happens, however, there will be times when they will grab your hips and thrust deep into you, even though they're on the bottom, either helping you adjusting to a different pace or angle that feels even better or, sometimes, trying to dominate you from the bottom, showing you how they want you to make love to them and attempting to have some control, working with you so as to reach your climax.
They may ask you to do things for them (speeding up the pace, fondling a sensitive spot, using a certain toy, stimulating yourself, while they watch, etc.), will say dirty things to you, and want you to do the same.
They may be subs, but they definitely want kids of their own, some day. These men will surprise you, though, because they will be great parents and, despite considering and realizing parenting to be a huge responsibility, they will go above and beyond to make sure they support you and your child. They will definitely want more kids after the first one arrives, too.
With these men, you will have to start communication first, so if any obstacles arise, you’ll have to be the one having the initiative to bring the issues to the table. A relationship with these men is very complicated because they don’t openly communicate with you and that’s something that won’t change. It’s ingrained in their character. But if you enjoy making the first move and encourage them to speak their mind after said move is made, things will work a lot smoother. They do trust you, but their natural impulse is to not speak their mind, unless it is clearly requested.
They are the type of men to be emotional but not show it, so sex is a way to connect with you, allowing emotions to overflow and transcend a realm beyond the physical one.
Good aftercare. May not go above and beyond, like the soft doms, but will make sure to cuddle and have a bath with you after.
- Kamo Noritoshi, Inumaki Toge, Kamo Choso
Switch
These men are mysterious and unpredictable. You never know how they truly feel or what they truly want, but if they feel like it, they will open up to you.
Most of the times, they will either be controlling hard doms, or challenging bratty subs, however, on rare occasions, they will be soft doms, seeking a deeper emotional connection, wanting to make sure you know they love you, even though, they don't always say it or show it. When they feel like being hard doms, they will definitely assume the traits mentioned earlier in the "hard dom section", because, to them, seeing you all messed up boosts their ego and makes them go even more feral on you.
When they are subs, they aren't romantic, but obnoxiously bratty, defying you by saying you can do better, refusing to do whatever you tell them to, laughing on your face saying things like "if you want it, do it yourself", "you want me to use this toy? Make me, I dare you!", while giving you the biggest, proudest and brattiest smirk ever. They are definitely the type to say "can't you do it any faster?", "is that all you've got?", "you're all bark and no bite. How disappointing". Sometimes, they start as subs, but, eventually, get bored and decide to take control and when they do, you already know his primal hard dom side will give you the hardest time of your life, on the mattress.
Being a soft dom is a rare occurrence, but when it does happen, they prefer to show you they love you, rather than telling you. Their eyes, filled with desire and desperation, will be staring intensely into yours. They want your souls to be entangled in each other forever and will be extremely soft and romantic in every thrust, smiling affectionately at you, wanting to know if you're feeling good. It may not look like it, but they are the most emotional soft doms ever.
Pregnancy and kids are a very uncomfortable topic for these men. If they could, they would teleport out of the discussion, instantly and the only reason they don’t do it, is because they know it will be an even bigger drag to listen to you starting a drama over it, later. They are a bit clumsy and forgetful in regards to protection, so it will be up to you to make sure they use it, otherwise, you will have to take the pill. They don’t imagine themselves being parents but, if that happens, they are definitely not having more kids.
Sloppy aftercare. You're the one who's supposed to cuddle them afterwards.
When they're hard doms, they usually don't pay any attention to aftercare. They will just have a bath and get ready for whatever is on their schedule next, while you will have to handle yourself.
On rare occasions, they may recognize they might have been a (gigantic) bit too rough on you and may help you clean yourself and have a bath with you. They don't enjoy cuddling too much and think it's a drag, but will do it, nonetheless, just to make you happy.
When they're subs, they will expect you to have a bath with them, you will have to be the one cuddling them and you will also have to be the one getting something for both of you to eat (in case you don’t, he will throw a tantrum).
When they're soft doms, they will have a bath with you and definitely will need your cuddles after. During aftercare, they will be romantic for a very short period of time (confessing their feelings for you), while staring deeply into your eyes. However, almost as soon as the words escape their mouths, they start realizing they're actually opening up to you and being vulnerable. They know they messed up.
They will instantly become stoic, concealing their true thoughts and feelings, seemingly apathetic towards everything, once again. You stop being able to see any sign of genuine emotion. You can’t help yourself but think it’s as if you were now standing beside a completely different man. It doesn't matter if you tell them they can open up to you, they still won't do it, even if you manage to somehow earn a tiny bit of their trust.
- Gojo Satoru, Kinji Hakari, Hajime Kashimo
Thank you so much for requesting!
I hope you enjoy this post! I know it's quite long, but I think I managed to highlight the most important topics, that people are, usually, the most curious about.
#jjk#jjk headcanons#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jjk x you#anime#manga#anime and manga#nanami kento#inumaki toge#higuruma hiromi#yuta okkotsu#kamo noritoshi#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#ryomen sukuna#toji fushiguro#naoya zenin#gojo satoru#geto suguru#kusakabe atsuya#hajime kashimo#choso kamo#hakari kinji
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Charter Ch. 8
Warnings: drama, angst, mentions of Luke’s abuse, oral, creampies, use of cuffs, breeding kink 😈
By the time she got to my house, I was antsy. My anxiety had spiked, there was that pain in my chest that nearly choked me. I couldn’t believe how nervous I was. How restless. I’d cleaned and organized things that didn’t need it, picked up Summer’s room, and started dinner. I’d wanted to wait until she got here so we could cook together but I was too anxious to wait. By the time her and Bo made it through the door, my shrimp and grits were nearly done.
“Smells amazing.” Y/N smiled at me. I couldn’t resist pulling her into my arms to kiss her. There was no fighting this. Not anymore.
“Took you long enough.” I murmured against her lips as Bo pawed at me for attention. She laughed, taking a step back to allow me to rub on her dog.
“I had to shower and feed him and walk him. I sometimes think having a dog is about like having a child.” Y/N teases as I straighten back up and Bo finds a spot on the couch.
“At least Bo doesn’t make you paint his nails.” I counter, making her laugh again as we move to the kitchen. I turn off the burner and make our plates. Y/N sits down with two beers and my dick twitches in my sweats as she eyes me hungrily. Her eyes light up as I approach the table but she looks away when I sit the plates down and take my seat.
“Problem?”
“Are you ever not hard?” Y/N rolls her eyes at me with a smirk and I chuckle. Part of me forgot I’d changed into sweatpants. Another part was glad I did if she kept looking at me like that.
“Around you, no.” Y/N fights a smile before we dig into our food. The silence is comforting. Like we’re both just happy to be in the same room as each other. These past three weeks had been hard. Harder than I’d ever imagined they would be. The distance was bearable when she still worked there but when she hung up her key, I felt something inside me break. I couldn’t just wait for her to come around again. Not this time.
“I took your advice. And Shoupes.” I cleared my throat and her bright eyes found mine, her brows raised.
“I filed a protective order against Chelsea. If she gets within five feet of her she’ll go to jail. I’m sure by now she’s been served.” I said, feeling the weight lift off my chest. She smiled at me, pride in her eyes as she nodded her head and kept eating. I still wanted to handle things my way but I’d start with the law.
“How’s Summer? Does she ever ask about her egg donor?” Y/N asked, leaning back in her chair once she finished and crossing her arms.
“Yes and no. I’ve told her as much as I think she can understand at five. She knows Chelsea is not safe and not okay to be around. She knows to get help if she’s approached.” Y/N nods.
“And what are we doing?”
“I figure we can give the dating thing a try.”
“Do you think the Charter will survive if you stop flirting with every female that walks in?” We both laugh.
“I hope so.” She smiles, content with my answers as we finish our beers. I lead her outside so Bo can do his business and I light a joint as we approach the waters edge. I take a few long hits and pass it to her. I feel the calm wash over me and I watch as the tension leaves her body after taking a few hits and handing it back.
“It’s peaceful out here.” Y/N murmurs, wrapping her arms around herself as the chill from the water hits us. I pull her against me, tucking her under my arm after I put the joint out.
“I love it out here.” I press my lips to her forehead and her arms wrap around my waist.
“What will I be to Summer?” She asks, a tremor in her voice like this was a hard question for her.
“Another positive role model in her life.” I respond, running my hand up and down her back.
“I don’t know if I’d call myself a role model. I didn’t have the best upbringing either. At least Summer has you.” She pulls back to look at me and I’m struck with the realization that I don’t know shit about her family except that her and her mother fight a lot.
“My father was an abusive piece of shit and my mom bailed. I think if I can give Summer more than I had then I’ll be happy.”
“My mom is a Kook and my dad is a Pogue. They’d met at a party and conceived me. My mom went down one path and my father went down another. I was the pawn they used to hurt each other. All they did was talk shit about each other and try to buy my love. By the time I was old enough to know better, I realized how awful they both were and now I don’t have much of a relationship with either. My mother doesn’t miss an opportunity to let me know she’s disappointed in me for not doing more with my life.” She releases a shuddering breath and I wrap my arms tighter, kissing her shoulder.
“I think we decide who we want to be when we’re older. I think you made the right choice. You didn’t let their actions define you.” I murmur, pulling back to rest my forehead against hers. She nods, sniffling.
“Neither did you.” She lifts up to kiss me and I groan, instantly deepening the kiss by slipping my tongue into her mouth to taste more. When she pulls back breathless and shivering, I crack a grin.
“That free therapy session will cost you a blowjob.” She swats my hands away with a laugh, turning back towards the house with an added sway to her hips.
“I don’t fuck on the first date, Maybank.” She taunts, shaking her ass at me and squealing with delight when I chase after her. I haul her up my body and press her back to the wall of the enclosed porch, kissing along her neck and throat.
“You do with me.” I growl, making her groan as I grind my cock against her clothed pussy. We make out just like we did behind the bar. Our tongues tasting one another and moaning into each others mouth. When she sucks my tongue into her mouth, I nearly blow my load right then.
“You have too many fucking clothes on.” I lower her to her feet to yank her shorts and panties down her legs then I kneel, throwing her leg over my shoulder before attaching my mouth to her clit.
“Oh fuck.” She moans, both hands in my hair as I stare up at her glorious tits and pierced nipples after she quickly removed her shirt and bra. She’s so wet that even as I slurp up her juices, more is still running down my chin. Her clit throbs against my tongue and I know she’s close already. She’s always fucking ready for me.
“JJ, please.” She cries, urging me to give her more as she grinds against my face. I take her clit between my teeth, making her eyes fly open on a gasp right before shoving two fingers inside her. I resume sucking her clit and her cries pierce my ears as she cums hard.
I don’t wait before jumping to my feet, wrapping my arms around her as she sways to kiss her again. Y/N tears at my own clothes until she frees my cock and pumps me in her hand.
“God, I missed this.” She pants, moving to drop to her knees but I stop her, shoving her over the back of the couch. I was already leaking precum all over her hand. If she got me in that sinful mouth this would be over before we’d even started.
“Nope. I need to be inside that pussy.” I thrust my dick through her slit, coating my cock in her slick arousal before nudging her soaked entrance. She sucks in a breath.
“Remember when I said if you’re good I’ll fuck you bare?” I spread her cheeks, watching my dick tease her slit.
“Yes.” She breathes, arching her ass out for me. I slap it, digging my fingers in to the flesh as I tease us both.
“I’m fucking you bare tonight and every night after this. I want you dripping with me.” The thought makes me absolutely feral, pumping her full until she makes me a daddy again. Making sure every fuckhead in this town knew she was mine.
“JJ.” The sound of her begging makes me shudder as I finally work the thick head inside her. My eyes nearly roll back into my skull as I push inside until I’m balls deep and she’s trembling. Heat washes over my body and sparks race up my spine. This was better than I could’ve ever imagined.
I tighten my hands on her hips before sliding half way out and slamming back in. She yelps, her feet barely reaching the floor as I shove her down further over the couch. I don’t waste anytime before I start fucking her with vigor, hard and fast. Her moans and pleas fill the air, her nails biting in to my arms as she reaches back, her pussy choking the life from me as I pummel into her. I’m on the verge of exploding when I suddenly stop and she growls in frustration.
“Don’t growl at me.” I slap her ass before yanking her upright and throwing her over my shoulder as I take us back inside. I wanted to take her on every surface of my house again but I wanted to take my time tonight. So for now, I’m finishing with her in my bed. I kick the bedroom door shut and faintly hear Bo grumble in protest before I toss her down on the bed.
“You better put that thing back inside me.” She snaps, shoving her hair from her face with defiant eyes looking up at me as I round the bed.
“Or what?” I counter, grabbing a pair of leather cuffs from my nightstand and kneeling back on the bed. She tries to flee but I quickly pin her beneath me and cuff her hands behind her back. She knows I love when she fights with me.
“I should punish you for quitting. For leaving me.” I growl in her ear. She wiggles beneath me and I can’t stop myself from kissing and biting down the side of her neck and down her spine, my tongue tracing her tattoo. I force her legs apart and kneel between them, running my hands up and down her body.
“JJ, please. Stop teasing me.” She begs, shaking her ass at me. I bring both hands down on both cheeks, making her hiss.
“But there’s nothing like sinking into pussy that’s been teased.” I slide my hand between her legs to stroke her clit. She tries to bring her legs together as she whimpers so I spank her again.
“Don’t make me tie your fucking legs open.” I shove her legs beneath her so she’s on her knees and spread wide for me. I move her ass into the air before dropping down onto my back between her legs to feast on her pussy.
“Jesus, JJ!” She tries to lift off my face, whining and whimpering when I don’t let her. I suck on her clit lazily until she’s trembling and cussing then I shove two fingers in deep and suck her swollen nub into my mouth. I wrap my free hand around my cock, stroking myself hard as she screams her release but I don’t stop.
“I can’t— please— JJ.” I thrust my tongue inside as she begs, making her squirm and try to move away. I slide my wet fingers up and probe her tight, puckered hole.
“JJ— wait— I.” I suck her clit into my mouth again and she moans, her legs shaking so hard she doesn’t even notice when I slide a finger inside her ass and slowly pump it. Her body grows taunt and a sob escapes her as reaches her peak again, wetness seeping out of her until she’s begging me to stop. I don’t give her a chance to come down before I move onto my knees and raise her ass in the air.
“Tell me you want me. That you want this.” I demand, pawing her ass with both hands. I loved having her like this. At my mercy. She couldn’t mouth off if she was too fucked to speak.
“I want this, J. You know I do.” She pants, unable to look back at me with her arms bound behind her back. I work my dick inside her and we both moan loud and long. I’ve been on the verge of cumming for awhile now so I don’t waste anymore time. She’s face down, her body surging forward with every hard thrust and her cries are muffled by the comforter. Sweat drips from my brow as I watch my cock disappear inside her wet heat, over and over again. Every time it comes back covered in her cream, I thrust harder. I’m right there but I’m not ready yet. I yank her up by the cuffs, molding her back against my front.
“One more. You can do it.” I growl, licking my fingers and bringing them to her swollen clit.
“I— can’t—!” She cries, her face twisting in anguish even as her body barrels towards release. Her climax triggers my own, her pussy sucking every drop of cum from me until we both finally collapse.
“What’s your favorite color?” She asks sleepily. We’d slept for a few hours only to wake up and go at it again. Now we’re both basking in afterglow as we start to fall back asleep.
“Green.” I murmur, stroking her hair while she rests her head on my shoulder, her naked body half on mine.
“Where’s your dad?” She asks, her voice growing more and more faint as sleep takes her.
“I don’t know.”
“Your mom?”
“Don’t know.” She hums in response, nuzzling in closer and holding me tighter. My throat tightens, making me wonder how I ever slept without her.
I see my phone light up from the nightstand again and I lazily reach for it, checking long enough to make sure it’s not any of the Pogues and sitting it back down. I don’t recognize the number so I ignore it.
Now that I’ve let her in completely a new type of possessiveness takes over. I thought it was bad when we weren’t exclusive and I saw her ex talking to her or putting his hands on her but now.. I might actually shoot someone.
I don’t have to worry about Summer because she has a heart of gold and loves everyone. She’s asked for Y/N and Bo everyday since the beach. Summer often makes me realize that my heart is on the outside of my body and that everything good about me.. is her.
It’s hard not to go to the dark place that wonders why my parents couldn’t get it together. Why they didn’t give a fuck enough to try. To just even fucking try. My dad only wanted anything to do with me when it benefited him. When he could use me to steal something or get out of a bind. But if I disagreed then I met his fists. Eventually he stopped providing and I had to steal to survive. It was a never ending cycle and everyone assumed I was just like him and no wonder my mother left.
Y/N snuggles closer, smelling every bit like me, sex, and her sweet shampoo. The thought of taking her again when she’s probably still dripping my cum is tempting.. but I resist. Tomorrow is Sunday so the Charter is closed and I plan to spend the day with my girls. And Bo. Like I could ever forget about the motherfucker.
I’m almost back to sleep when a sudden pounding on my front door has us both jerking upright. Like a goddamn swat team. I jump out of bed, yank on a pair of shorts and grab my gun.
“Who would be here this late?” Y/N hisses, yanking my shirt down over her head and pulling on my sweats.
“I don’t know. Stay here.” I demand, almost missing the glare she shoots my way. I make my way down the hallway and Y/N trails close behind me. I nearly stop dead in my tracks when I see the familiar flash of lights and someone standing on my door step. Something is wrong. My mind immediately starts to panic. Summer isn’t here.
My throat starts to close as I sit the gun down and open the door to reveal Sheriff Shoupe. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. Cops don’t show up at your doorstep in the middle of the night unless something is wrong and someone is dead. I reach for my phone but it’s not in my pocket. Y/N takes my hand but I barely feel it as my mouth becomes dry and I can’t form words.
“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news and show up here in the middle of the night.” Shoupe starts, looking more stressed than usual.
“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Y/N asks, her hand tightening in mine like she can feel my panic. Where’s Summer? Is she safe?
“There’s been an accident.” My knees buckle and I catch myself on the door frame. All I can think about is Summer. Is she okay? Were they in an accident? Is that way I kept getting calls from an unknown number? Is John B..
“Spit it out, Shoupe.” I snap, barely able to get a full breath in my lungs. I can’t breathe. Is this a panic attack? His face remains firm, not giving me lip over my usual attitude.
“There’s been a fire.”
“Oh god.” Y/N gasps, tightening her grip on me as the room starts to spin. Blood rushes to my ears and I can barely hear anything. Summer. My baby.
“Summer..” I choke on her name, my heart threatening to split open in my chest like a gaping wound.
“There were no bodies inside. No one was hurt that we know of. We tried getting ahold of you the last few hours but we know it’s late. Better to do this in person.” Shoupe clarifies, his eyes giving away his sympathy.
If there’s no fire here and there was no bodies then it had to be..
“I’m sorry, JJ, but the Charter burned down earlier this evening. No one caught it until it was too late.”
And just like that… my knees hit the floor.
#smutwarning#outer banks smut#jj maybank smut#jj maybank fic#obx2#jj maybank imagine#rudy pankow#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank x you#jj obx#blueicequeen19#outer banks x reader#wattpad#outer banks fanfiction#tw unprotected sex#jj maybank#charter
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Time for a little angst. With all the pressure of being the eldest child of Lucifer and hair to the throne Morningstar!Reader doesn’t really let there own feelings show. They always smile to come off as in control(literally taking Alastor’s advice) but I feel like they’d have a breaking point and just breakdown in private. Lucifer finds them and Suddenly there that little kid again clinging to there dad for comfort. You can’t tell me Lucifer won’t wrap his wings around them and gently sing to them. Morningstar!Reader is so close with there dad that they always go to him for reassurance and comfort.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR3aprTB/
^defiantly the song he’ll sing.(May this please be a one shot? Even if it’s short? If not that’s ok I really enjoy your work!)
TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship, pretty fluffy and not Yandere but still Yandere AU, IM SO PROJECTING BECAUSE I NEED SOME FATHER FIGURE TO REPLACE MY BIO BIYCH ASS ONE!!, also very shitty attempts of me changing the lyrics, tell me if I need to add more
Summary: Don’t worry little one, dad has arrived finally :)
Y/N morningstar, eldest child of Lucifer and Lilith, the heir to hell if both parents die. That is what you are, that’s who you are. You are perfect. You have to be perfect. There is nothing you can do to change it, that’s what you have to be. Laying in front of the fireplace, you finally stopped smiling and started to cry. You were sobbing into your favorite stuffed animal while your fluffy blanket was wrapped around you.
You act like a child when you know your completely safe and alone so you could be free yet this is the first time you’ve ever sobbed, not even when you’d get upset during your little…days where you’ll act like a kid you only sniffle and let out a fear tears before stopping. You were sobbing, you didn’t hear the door open.
Lucifer’s eyes widened when he saw you sobbing. He rushed over to you and hugged you. He softly shushed you while you sob into his chest. “Shh” he softly said. You were his little baby right now, not the eldest child, you were a little boy/girl/kid who needed their dad desperately. He knew this. He sat down as he brought you closer to him and rubbed your back.
“Hush little baby don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be alright. I know mommy’s not here right now and we don’t know why. I promise mommy’s gonna be alright. If you ask me then I’ll buy you a mockingbird and buy a Diamond ring for you. If the mockingbird doesn’t sing and if the ring doesn’t shy, imma go back to the jewelry and make them pay me back so you’ll get what you want” he softly sung. You were sniffling now.
“…you suck at singing dad” you mumbled as you chuckled as he dramatically gasped. He was happy you weren’t crying anymore so he’ll take it. “I sing wonderfully!” He replied back as you shook your head in a ‘no’ gesture while you giggled.
#✉️mail arrived✉️#genderfluid enity answers!#yandere#please don’t do this#obession#unhealthy#platonic yandere#yandere platonic#gn reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x gender neutral reader#yandere hazbin hotel#Morningstar!reader#x gn reader
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Hey don’t know if your doing KNB anymore but-
Could you do HC’s on all the boys playing with readers hair? Like reader is having troubles sleeping or something and the boys just play with their hair?
✧ Type: HC
✧ Warnings: Hurt to comfort sorta, fluff everywhere, maybe ooc but it’s love man, slight crackhead energy if your squint, curses, not proof read/spelled checked
✧ Side Bar: You said or something so I did something ✨ joke aside I had so much fun with this if you can’t tell. Thanks for the req! this is actually safe for someone 17+ despite the warning for the rest of the blog
Credit: atamanrr on tt
— Akashi
College finals are coming around fast. And you were stressing out.
You weren’t like your brilliant boyfriend, who always guarantee he’ll come out on top every time.
You procrastinate, you mess up, and you forgot. The polar opposite of your King, it still puzzles you to this day why he wants you.
But disregarding all that, you still tried to study to make up for it and it helped a bit that he offered his aid. What a sweet man ugh.
Sort of. Not really.
While he looks completely in his element as he practice quiz himself, GETTING EVER ANSWER CORRECT, you were over it as you sat across from him.
Your lips were borderline bruised as you abused it throughout the session, running your fingers frustratingly through your hair as you feel stumped over a word problem.
Akashi notices, of course he does. He’s an observant person and an attentive boyfriend. It was clear that you needed a break but he knew how stubborn you could be.
So he sets his pen down, getting up to come around to where you are—all of which you don’t notice until he’s pulling you up and dragging you towards the crouch.
“Seijuro?” You question him when he casually drops on the cushions with a deep sigh, dragging you with him. He doesn’t say anything as he wraps his arms around your lower back and use his free hand to rake his fingers through your hair, albeit much less aggressive than you had, “Sei.” You try again, this time getting a reply.
“You need a break.” He says, never ceasing his movements. If anything he pulls you closer, so your flush against his body, your head on his chest, “No buts. It’ll still be there when you get back.” He adds when he sees you about to protest.
You hate when he’s right. Always at the worst times too. More than he’ll ever know, especially when he gets what he was aiming for easily. Your supposed to be independent.
Instead his stupid warmth was pulling you in, the light scraping of his nails that occasionally graze your scalp slowly putting you into a small trance.
You mumble a quick, barely audible, “Thank you,” as you drift into your first nap of the day. It’s a good thing when you miss the curve of his lips as he glance down at your peaceful expression, otherwise you’ll try and tease him endlessly.
“Anything for you, my empress/prince.”
— Aomine
This was hard for him. No it wasn’t because he can’t show affection. Aomine is actually very affection to his lady, maybe too much that it’s borderline manhandling. You don’t complain.
It’s hard for him because he really hates to see you beat yourself up, comparing yourself in the mirror to his magazines.
Sometimes he wish he never kept them, not liking how insecure you got. He knows they can’t compare to you and you know it too… you just can’t help yourself most days.
He feels guilty each time you tell him that it was okay to keep things like that since you were real and they weren’t. He didn’t deserve such understanding after causing your tears indirectly.
And so every time, Aomine waste zero time in wrapping his arms around you, crowding you so your face was buried in his chest.
“I know,” you whine, eyes wet with weightless tears and nose beginning to drip, but it was the least of both your worries, “I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. They’re so pretty!” you squeeze around his waist, the very same you can barely reach around.
Aomine listens. He listens and watches every choke cry, every fragile wail, every doe and tearful eyed glance up at his face.
He didn’t bother to explain again that it wasn’t about them being pretty because he knew it would make it worst. He was smart enough to realize that.
It didn’t break his heart any less though. He’s not sure how many more these sessions he can take without getting rid of the whole stash.
Because nothing was really worth seeing you like this.
Aomine sighs through his nose, pushing your head back against his chest after you glance up at him one more time, running his fingers through your hair to smooth you; a method that always worked. He was anxious, despite his calming demeanor—you can hear it in his heart.
The same beat that lore you to close your eyes, clinging on to the man that brings up such insecurities unintentionally. When your shoulders slump, he picks up with your head now rested on his shoulder. He still doesn’t stop his movements in your hair as he takes you to the shared bedroom.
“It’s alright, baby,” he’ll mumble as he lays beside you with his arm under your head for support. His hands still wringing themselves in your hair, but occasionally drift to your caress your cheek as he watches you sleep, “I won’t make you feel like this again.”
He kept true to his word. Threw the whole stash away after waking up from the nap.
As much as he cared for those magazines, he cares about you more. He’d be damned if he let a fake thing mess up a good one.
— Kagami
You have been dating Kagami for a while, almost a year. So it was safe to say he has seen you in all the craziest states you can conjure up.
To name a few: days where you’re too lazy to wear makeup (makeup is genderless) , a few random hormonal pimples, fresh out the shower with your hair sticking to your head like the ring antagonist.
He’s seen it all.
He’s also dealt with your mini tantrums or mood changes that sometime went along with them. That’s what a partner is supposed to do. Take the good and the ugly, not one or the other.
This time was no different, you were getting ready to go out to the shopping center but ever since you woke up, your hair has not been cooperative.
This only led Kagami to assume you were frustrated, especially based on the loud huffs and weird growls you’ve been letting out.
He could hear your down the hall as he’s making a sandwich, cursing as you wrestle with your hair. It’s when you let out a loud ‘“Fucking stupid ass hair be submissive” did he enter your room.
“Babe, are you almost done?” He asks, even though he can see you aren’t, which earns a glare briefly sent his way before you focus back on your hair.
“Do I look done, babe?” You mock back.
There’s the attitude he loves.
Kagami didn’t get it. This was probably the most tame your hair has every looked but your fussing over one off section.
If anything… He’s putting down his sandwich and dusting his hands off with purpose.
“What are you doing?” You shout, watching a he stalks up behind you to rack his fingers through your hair. On a normal day this would be soothing, but he wasn’t doing it to help.
“Taiga, this looks fucking worst!” You whine, slapping his hand away as you stare, mouth agape at the mess he help create.
He simply grins, “I like it.”
“Please tell me that was the clean hand…”
He thinks you look hotter with messy hair. His favorite time of the day was morning because he got to see you first thing, hair wildly misplaced.
— Kise
It was supposed to be a leisure day. A simple day where you can stay inside to finally finish this new Netflix show called “sanctuary”, while not be judged for eating half a cake. Alone.
But then your fantasy is disrupted because your reminded your boyfriend was Kise, and he was never not clingy.
He shows up unannounced, as he always does with his “I miss you so much baby” type shit.
You were a little annoyed, just a little. Your day was all planned out, so it’s to be expected. Just as it was expected to know it won’t go that way due to Kise.
Reluctantly, you let him in because he was a little too upbeat and bright, compared to the darkness and coolness that your apartment gave.
There wasn’t really a different with Kise being there.
Except no personal space and him eating more of your cake then you, which might be a shocker but Kise only ever let’s loose with you.
You were his safe space, and he liked to return the favor, regardless of how little.
Kise was sitting up right on the sofa, while you were laying your head on Kise lap, both of you equally engrossed in the show, and still semi hungry after the cake was gone but too lazy to get up for something else.
You got startled when he subconsciously starts petting your head. Did he think your were a pet or something? But your thoughts were eased away when his petting turns into wringing his fingers through your hair, scratching pleasantly at your scalp from time to time.
There were moments he’ll twirl it around his finger like a little school girl being nervous around her crush. You thought it was really cute, so you had to voice it.
“You’re so cute, Ryo.” you blurt randomly. He still his movements, blinking before looking down at your with flushed cheeks,
“I didn’t do anything.” he says, resuming his movements.
“Even when you’re not doing anything, you’re crazy cute.”
“[Name] -cchi!”
— Kuroko
It was fall, how beautiful the colors change. It was a perfect temperature—in Japan. America was a whole different story, let’s not get into that though.
Anyway, it’s date night with Kuroko. Every Friday, like clockwork, unless something came up. Thankfully, it didn’t!
You both just got done eating at this new place you saw and of course, Kuroko had no complaints but didn’t finish his food.
Luckily, you guys got to take it to go without any extra charge. Now your both just casual strolling down the streets, hand and hand.
But then Kuroko was pulling you in a random direction, that you soon found out was a park.
“Testu?” you call to him, peering at him curiously. He only looks back at your for a second, and the warmth from his eyes was enough for you not to question any further.
He’s a really sweet boyfriend, ugh.
At some point during the walk, you saw a pretty tree that still somehow has a lot of leave on it and the colors were too gorgeous to pass up a photo.
Instead of taking a photo of just the tree, you told Kuroko to take a picture of you with it.
So there you were standing under the tree, posing awkwardly as people walk by and wait for your boyfriend to take the picture.
But he takes forever. He has the phone up, the app’s open but he just pauses as your pouting.
“Testu! Take the picture,” you whine, body going tense as you struggle to hold the pose. When it looks like he’s going to take the photo, he lowers the phone and walks over to you. That only confuses you more, “What are you doing?”
He’s reaching up to your face as you stare at him skeptically, but he skips your face and goes right to your hair, where he runs his finger through it, “You have something in your hair. It’ll ruin the photo.”
How considerate is he? A+++
You thank him, obviously, when he gets it out. And you thought that’s was the end of it, that he’ll finally take your picture.
No, Kuroko is still wringing his hand through your hair.
He’s smiling softly to himself, completely forgetting about the task at hand. It takes you clearing your throat to bring him back to earth. Even then, his hand doesn’t leave your hair. He just waits patiently for you to speak.
“The photo, Tetsuya?” you remind him, with a tilt of your head.
His mouth forms a “o” and he finally removes his hand, “Sorry. Your hairs really soft today.” He then walks back to where he was before, pointing the phone at you as if what he said didn’t make you red in the face.
— Murasakibara
The clock read 2 am when your staring up at the ceiling.
You were exhausted but your mind refused to let your rest.
The lie would be a big one if you said you didn’t know why. Despite your good day with nothing eventual happening, your brain found ways to nitpick always.
It was 2:54 when you decided you’ll have a late night snack, maybe watch some tv to lull you to sleep.
But it was 20 minutes later when your walking into the living room to see Murasakibara already on the couch and not in the bedroom where you left him.
Murasakibara isn’t a light sleeper, but he knows when something’s different despite being sleep. When he doesn’t feel you hugging his side, he lazily gets up to find you.
He finds you in the kitchen, making yourself a half pb&j sandwich. He immediately knows it’s one of those nights where you can’t sleep just from that.
Instead of letting his presence known, he goes to the couch and waits for you, already knowing if he did bother you that you’ll try and get him back to bed and leave again.
It’s almost comical seeing his big frame spread across a couch just a few inches too short for him.
“Atsu, you should be in bed.” You remind him, walking over to him. He looks up at your drowsily, a pout already playing at his lips.
“Hope you got enough for me too.” He ignores your statement, opening up the blanket you originally got to get comfy on the couch alone, “I’m hungry.”
You get confused at whether he was actually referring to food or you, after all, this situation happens often and the outcomes are unpredictable since it’s him.
Murasakibara sees your hesitation and grows impatient, instead reaching out to pull you to him and force you in the blanket himself.
“The food, Atsu!” Your protests fell on death ears, with you trying to keep it from getting trapped within the covers.
He opens his mouth and pulling you closer to him. One of his hands pushes your head to his chest and now he’s running his fingers through your hair as if to shush you from saying more, “Feed me.”
Your trying to pull away, but don’t prevail, “There isn’t enough for you, you giant!”
“Then I’ll just have to eat you.”
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#knb headcanons#knb x reader#knb#akashi x reader#midorima x reader#kise x reader#aomine x reader#murasakibara x reader#kagami x reader#kuroko x reader#akashi seijūrō#midorima shintarou#kise ryota#aomine daiki#murasakibara atsushi#kagami taiga#kuroko tetsuya#kuroko no basuke#knb imagines#akashi seijuurou x reader#˚₊‧꒰ა omnific ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
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i love ur fics sm omf.....
i am massively abnormal and mentally ill so thinking ab yan theo and mattheo with a gryffindor reader, clearly toxic but in which reader tries to break up with them .... failing miserably and just getting manipulated by them about how he's gonna get hurt and everyone but them wants to hurt him. he refuses to believe which just makes them go take the violent route since he was making it hard for them 🙁
and could i possibly be 🦦 anon? hope im not bothering, have a nice day or night !! <3
of course you can, lovely 🦦 anon!!
i absolutely adore the amount of angst in this request
also no i totally didnt base a lot of this on my own ex bf what no thatd be crazy
abuse warning! stay safe!!
toxic — yandere! manipulative! theodore nott x gn! reader x yandere! manipulative! mattheo riddle
requests open
‼️heavy abuse warning‼️
(physical, verbal, emotional, & psychological; lots of manipulation and gaslighting)
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Text line: Text START to 88788
YOU DESERVE SAFETY. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“We’re breaking up. I can’t do this anymore.”
Theodore looked up at you quizzically from where he was reading on the couch. “Hm?”
“I’m breaking up with you. Both of you.”
“Oh, darlin’,” Mattheo sighed, shaking his head. “We can’t in good conscience let you do that.”
“See, here’s the thing, Matty,” you laugh humorlessly. “I don’t care.”
“But baby,” Theo said softly, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at you with puppy dog eyes.
You steeled yourself as you started to feel the melting effects of that damn expression of his. “I can’t. Not anymore. It’s too fucking exhausting.”
“What is, baby?” Theodore pleaded, reaching out to grab your hand. “Tell us so we can fix it.”
The urge to shy away from this conversation, to apologize profusely for trying to leave, and to shove all of your emotions down until you felt numb again was overwhelming.
Theo rubbed the knuckles of your hand with his thumb. “Baby…”
You took a breath and steeled yourself again. “The everything, Theo. The lying. The cheating. The benders every weekend. The screaming at each other and the ghosting me. The waiting for me to come crawling back to you. Begging you to take me back every fucking time. Apologizing for everything even when it wasn’t my fault.”
“Ba-”
“No. I’m talking right now. The manipulation. The love bombing. I’m sick of it. I’m. Done.”
“Now, c’mon, darlin’,” Mattheo said placatingly. “Don’t be like that. You know none of that was our fault.”
“None? You slept with half of our year while we were dating.”
“Are,” Theo corrected. “Are dating.”
“Cute. No.”
“Baby, who else could possibly love you as much as we do?” Mattheo pouted, reaching out for your wrist and using it to tug you down onto his lap.
You stiffened, trying to free your wrist from his slowly tightening grasp. “Literally anyone. It’s not like you guys do anything.”
“Don’t do anything? Sweetheart, we protect you,” Theo chuckled with a sharp smile.
“Oh yeah?” You scoffed, managing to free your wrist and get out of Mattheo’s lap. “Protect me from who?”
“There’s a lot of bad people out there, doll. People who’d want to hurt you if they got the chance.”
“What, like you?”
“We’ve never laid a hand on you, sweetheart. Not once,” Mattheo sneered the last word like a curse, his greedy hands reaching out to snatch your arm again.
You flinched minutely, stepping back from his grasping hands. “I don’t care. We’re over, whether you like it or not.”
“Oh, stop it, darlin’,” Theo cooed patronizingly, standing up from the couch and crowding into your space. “You need us. Who else would care about you as much as we do? Who else would want you?”
“I. Don’t. Care.” You gritted out, shoving at his chest.
The boys shared a look—one you couldn’t quite read.
Suddenly, Theodore caught your jaw in his hand, squeezing tight. “You’d better shut up, sweetheart. Before one of us gets mad.”
“Dude, are you threatening me? I wi-”
Your sentence was cut off by a harsh slap.
You froze, mouth hanging open.
Your hand slowly went to your stinging cheek as you stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.
Theo at least had the tact to look guilty. “Baby- baby, I’m so sorry- it was an accident, I swear.”
You didn’t move, still processing what had just happened.
“Sweetheart? Darlin’, I’m sorry. I really am. You were just making me so mad…It was an accident, swear. It’ll never happen again, promise,” he cooed gently, stooping down to cup your cheeks in his hands with utter gentleness and care.
He hissed sympathetically when you flinched back from the pressure on your already-reddening cheek, gently stroking his thumb over it.
As you looked up at his apologetic and remorseful expression, you could feel a flicker of tenderness as you were reminded of the sweet boy you fell in love with in the first place.
“It’s okay, Theo,” you whispered, your words betrayed by the way your voice cracked. You swallowed thickly, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. “It was an accident.”
Theo made a show of sighing in relief. “Thank you, darling. But now you know to shut your mouth, don’t you baby? You know I don’t wanna hear you fucking saying that shit again, mhm?”
You just nodded mechanically.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
hey! guess what! it absolutely will happen again! if your partner ever hits you, call a friend to come get you and then leave. it’s not worth it to stay, trust me.
to my taglisters! i haven’t tagged you in this due to its sensitive content. you know your boundaries and limits better than i do. stay safe.
— hp-hcs xx
#harry potter#hp#fuck jkr#x reader#hp x male reader#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theo nott#x male reader#hp x gn reader#theo nott x reader#x gender neutral reader#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheoxreader#mattheo riddle x male reader#yandere theodore nott#yandere harry potter#yandere mattheo riddle#🦦 anon
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Don't Speak 33
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)
Character: librarian!Andy Barber
Note: Okay I had no plans to get this done but since US thanksgiving is near.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
Love you all. Take care. 💖
You cling to that moment of peace. Without Andy touching you, smothering you, invading you. You hide your head under your bent arm, curled up on your side as you try to close the world out. Reality slices through you like a razor.
You cannot outrun what is. Not anymore. You’ve lost that ability. Your mind can’t summon the fantasies that once kept you safe. There is only the tenderness inside and the bruises on your thighs.
He’s there, somewhere, lurking. You thought he would go to work but that hope was quickly crushed, along with all your others. He stayed and touched you until that got the better of him. Then he would put you on your back, or your stomach, sometimes your side, however he wanted you…
And you let him. You don’t fight. Your weightless body follows his whim and opens to him. You squeeze your eyes shut and whimper as your walls clench at the thought of him near you.
There’s something wrong with you. You’re supposed to love him, so it shouldn’t feel so bad, right? After all he’s done for you, shouldn’t you want him to do that? Shouldn’t you be just as eager for him?
You don’t understand it. It’s not supposed to hurt so surely, you’re doing something wrong. You’ll get it right. You can be what Andy wants, what he needs. You will not be another burden. Never again.
You hear him coming. You quiver and shrink down further. You can’t find the strength to sit up and try.
He greets you with a sigh. Oh no, he’s mad. You whimper and curl your arm snugger around your head. What did you do now? What is he going to do?
He nears the bed, his shadow standing over you as his presence brings a dark cloud. He shifts and sniffs, turning to sit on the edge of the bed. He puts his large hand on your shoulder and you wince. You squeeze your eyes shut.
“We need to talk, Dove,” he says.
Talk? You can’t handle it. You’d rather he just hurt you than repeat the facts. You don’t need him to tell you how bad you are, you already know.
“Sit up,” he shakes you, gently but enough to jar you.
You relent and fall onto your back. You stare at the ceiling and press your hands to the mattress. You sit up, little but little, your muscles knotted and stiff.
You hug the blanket to your chest, hiding behind it as you hunch your shoulders forward. You can’t look at Andy so you focus on the lump of your feet under the covers.
“Why do you keep lying?” He rasps.
You blink as your lip trembles, tears threatening to spring free. He’s mad again. Your entire body tenses as you brace for what comes next.
“You could’ve told me about Steve,” he lifts the shape in his lap and you glance over. It’s your tablet. “He’s your doctor, I wouldn’t have been mad.”
You sniffle and cup your chin in your hands, fingers over your mouth. You watch him turn the tablet over and slide back the cover. You don’t try to stop him or defend yourself. He’s right. About everything.
“If you needed help… with the toy or figuring things out, I was here. I am here. You could’ve asked me,” an edge creeps into his voice, “why didn’t you ask me?”
You don’t say a word. You’re trapped in your own guilt. He has the proof in his hands. You did it, you lied and betrayed him.
“The only thing I ask of you, is that you tell the truth. You haven’t, so I can’t trust you. Not until you show me I can,” Andy closes the tablet, pressing his thumb to the cover. “And maybe then you can have this back.”
You nod and hang your head. It’s easier if you just do what he wants. You’ll get used to it eventually, maybe even one day, you’ll be normal and want it too.
🕊️
“This is nice,” Andy struts into the room with a hanger in hand.
You sit on the edge of the bed where he left you. His frustration drew you out of your cocoon to shiver in the morning air. You can smell the crisp autumn seeping in around the window. There’s no point trying to figure out how long you’ve been like this, counting the days will only make it torturous.
You glance over as Andy waggles the dress at you, one of those he bought you. The bishop sleeves are almost longer than the skirt, the shade of faded plum overlaid with a translucent layer. You look at it and nod. Whatever he wants.
“You’ll have to clean up first,” he lays the dress on the bed, “it’ll help you feel better too.”
You blink and pinpoint on his chest. You can’t look him in the face. He nears you and runs his hands down your arms, sending a chill through you. He bends and twists you around to scoop you up. He hums as he lifts you against his chest.
“Aren’t you excited, honey?” He chimes.
You frown, excited? You let your head fall against his shoulder. There isn’t an ounce of strength left in you.
“Thanksgiving,” he prompts as if it’s obvious, “I got everything we need! So you can get started once you're ready. Don’t worry, I woke up early to deal with the turkey.”
He enters the bathroom and puts you down on the closed toilet. You look down at yourself. You wear his t-shirt and nothing else. He moves away to crank on the tub and quickly comes back to you. You wrinkle your nose, confused.
“Thanksgiving?” You croak.
“Uh, yeah, duh!” His tone is laced with forced enthusiasm. “Our first together.”
He tugs the hem of the shirt from under your ass and you murmur. You try to catch the cotton. He tuts and you let go. He rolls the fabric up your body and you lift your arms, surrendering.
“An…” you start to say his name but can’t get the bitter noise out. You clear your throat, “what if… I don’t feel good, I don’t know if I have the energy–”
“You’ve been in bed forever. You can get up for one day,” his timbre turns rigid, “you promised me. You promised Doctor Kemp. Do you want to let us both down?”
You close your eyes and slump. He huffs and tosses the shirt on the tile. You reach to touch your lashes and sniff back a wave of tears. It’s not just the time, the way it moves without you knowing, no, it’s him that makes you feel so helpless.
“Don’t do this,” he whispers, half a growl.
“I…” you inhale, struck by his fury, “I won’t. I’ll be good.”
You try to force a smile as you pull your hands away. Your cheeks twitch and your eyes sting, your lips just won’t curve the way you want them too. Another sigh as he stands straight. He rolls up his sleeves before he lifts you again.
He lowers you into the tube as you squeeze your legs together. You fold your arms around yourself, trying to hide, as he reaches for a scrubby and the bottle of vanilla soap. He pops the cap violently as the water bulges up towards your knees.
“Dove,” he reproaches as he grabs your arm, straightening it as he holds your wrist firmly.
You squeak as he scrubs you harshly. You hide behind your eyelids as the flash of another memory strikes you. The cold downpour of water from a screaming shower head, chattering teeth, and quaking sobs.
When he makes you stand, you curl your fingers to tight fists. As he washes you, you feel even more exposed than before. He takes his time on your chest and stomach, surprising you as he leans forward to his just beside your navel. You flinch and glance down.
“You’re beautiful, honey, you shouldn’t be so shy,” he says, “all done, sit.”
You obey and he finishes up the bath, helping you stand before wrapping you up in a soft towel. He pats you dry and moisturises your skin with the fragrant strawberry lotion. This time, he makes you walk back to the room with him.
As you consider the dress, he goes to his dresser and slides out a drawer. He comes to the bed and drops something else. You stare at the white panties and bra, see-through and speckled with little hearts.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” he says as he touches the front of his shirt, damp from the tub, “I’ll change too.”
You bite your lip and keep your chin down. You touch the dress, staring at the underwear, mortified at the thought of wearing those. Why can’t you wear something comfortable? Why can’t you be you? Why can’t he love you as you?
🕊️
Andy said Steve is coming. You don’t dare ask when as the conversation about your tablet looms over you. You don’t want him to think anything bad of the doctor. It’s not his fault, you’re just stupid.
You put your energy into following the precise instructions printed out before you. All the ingredients are set out neatly for you. It’s all manageable, even for you.
In the next room, the TV blares with the commentators on the NFL pre-game. Andy paces in and out, as if checking on you, or maybe he’s restless. You start peeling the sweet potatoes as he comes in again, looking at his watch.
“Dr. Kemp said he’d bring dessert,” Andy says, “I bought a pie just in case. If he isn’t here in the next hour, we’ll take it out of the freezer.”
“Okay,” you agree as you drag the peeler over the bumpy potato.
“You must be excited, huh, dove?”
“Um, sure, I… I like Thanksgiving. Lots of food,” you smile, you’re getting better at that. “Um, yeah.”
“What?” He tilts his head, his hands going to his hips. Oh no, he’s mad. Again.
“N-nothing, I didn’t…” you look away, “nothing.”
“It’s just Steve,” he shrugs, “I don’t have family. You know, if you bothered to ask, you might realise we’re a lot more alike than you think.”
You chew your cheek and focus on stripping the orange potato. You never did ask. You didn’t think you should. It feels nosy so it’s not that you never wondered or cared, you just don’t know what’s right.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur.
“For?”
“For not asking. Sorry that you’re alone too,” you grab the next potato.
“Not anymore, dove, we got each other, right?” He chirps, “anyway, before you get too deep into that, you should really do the snacks first. Can’t watch football without munchies.”
“Oh, I… I didn’t think…” you put the potato down and wipe your hands on the dish towel on the counter.
“Wait, wait,” he goes by the fridge and unhooks an apron hanging on the other side. “You don’t want to dirty up that pretty dress.”
“Uh, good idea.”
He puts the top strap over your head, tugging it down snug to your neck. He signals you to turn and you do. He steps close, reaching around you as he smooth the front and drags his hands to the thinner straps behind you. He ties them slowly, tickling your lower back through the dress.
“Let me see,” he steps back.
You face him and he admires you. You look down at the floral fabric with a large bow at the waist. It looks almost like a vintage dress on its own. You straighten your arms and sway as he purrs.
“That looks so good on you,” he steps closer and you plant your feet, resisting the urge to retreat. “Makes me wanna eat you up.”
Your chest racks with panic as he advances on you. He corners you against the counter as he flutters his fingers along the ruffled edge of the apron. You watch his hands creep up the fabric and gulp. Oh, again? Here? You thought you were safe.
“We got time,” his hands close on your hips, “just a little taste.”
You yelp as he takes you off your feet, perching you on the counter. Your ass knocks a bowl across the island and you brace the granite for balance. He pushes your knees apart and steps between them. You're paralysed as he cups your chin, tilting your head back as he kisses you. Suddenly.
He clamps his hand around the back of your neck, locking you against him. His other hand trails down your leg, stopping at your knee and crawling back up. He slips beneath the apron and your skirt, tendrils radiating from his touch. Your muscles spasm as you gasp.
He parts from your lips, kissing your jaw and neck, nibbling and moaning as his fingertips inch towards the trim of your panties. The cool air slips beneath your dress and through the thin fabric. You shudder as you close your eyes, trying to bury yourself inside.
“Mmmm, dove,” he shifts and nuzzles your chest.
He slowly gets to his knees, holding your legs apart as he pecks along your skin. You whimper as he edges towards your skirt, his breath dampening your thigh. He hums and pinches you with his teeth.
“Delicious,” he pokes his head under your skirt, a sudden ding breaking your trance.
He retracts, sitting back on his heels as the doorbell echoes through the house. You look down at him as he closes his eyes and grimaces. He shakes his head and pushes himself up to his feet, grunting as he stands.
“Great timing, as always,” he scoffs.
He struts out, his chagrin obvious in his posture. You push off the counter, landing awkwardly on your feet, tweaking your ankle slightly. You go to the doorway, peeking around into the hall but not daring to venture out.
Andy rolls his shoulders as he stops by the door. He heaves a breath as the doorbell chimes again. He turns back the latch and twists the handle, pulling it back.
“Andrew,” Kemp’s voice booms into the entryway, “Happy Thanksgiving!” You can’t help the way your heart topturns at his familiar timbre, “brought dessert.”
“What is she doing here?” Andy growls.
“Thanksgiving is for family, Andrew, and her family is here,” Kemp insists.
“No, I didn’t invite her–”
“Where is she?” The unseen ‘her’ asks. Your mouth falls open. Amber? “Let me see her.”
You rush forward without thinking. No fear, no doubt, you just want to see your sister. You scurry down the hall and brush by Andy, elbowing him as he reaches to stop you. You burst out through the doorway and crash into Amber, wrapping your arms around her.
“Hey,” her voice piques as she hugs you back, “hey, I’m here.”
#andy barber#dark andy barber#dark!andy barber#andy barber x reader#don't speak#series#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#au#library au#defending jacob#fresh#steve kemp
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my mother has been treating my middle sibling so fucking poorly recently that I flat out just offered to take them with me when I move out of state so they would at least have the option to leave the abusive environment they’re in right now and won’t feel as smothered and manipulated anymore.
and they actually said they want to come with me. they want a little time to save up and prepare so I’ll have to come back and get them later on, but I don’t care about that. as long as they’re safe and protected and out of harms way, which I know they will be with me, that’s all that matters.
this kid deserves to be taken care of and loved by someone who genuinely cares about them and their mental health and well-being. and if my mother can’t fucking manage that, then I guess I’m mom now. I’ll never let this kid feel unloved and trapped somewhere like they do right now.
they will always have my unconditional love and support. and they know that. I won’t just sit by idly and be complicit in their abuse. I’m just going to quietly take them away from all this shit so they never have to be treated this way by the people they’ve called ‘family’ ever again.
#they literally said ‘at least then I’ll be with my real mom who I know loves me’ and I literally started crying#I raised that kid when I was younger. we’re only like 8 years apart but they were basically my kid when I was in high school.#and they remember that#my mom didn’t do shit to raise them. I fucking did. I took care of them. I fed them. I picked out their clothes. I took them to after schoo#activities and shit. as far as I’m concerned that IS my kid. and they will be treated and loved as such.
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I noticed in your poly!marauders breakfast in bed imagine when Remus said that if she doesn't tell them he would punish her. Do you think you could write an alternative version of that imagine where he does end up punishing her? Only if your comfortable with it tho
Pain Over Pleasure // Poly!Marauders x Fem!Reader
A/N: thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy!
Breakfast in bed link if anyone is interested ღ
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, foursome, threesome, angst, punishment, painful sex, rough sex, BDSM, dom/sub, spanking, humiliation, dacryphilia (crying), sir kink, size difference, praise kink, anal sex, cum swallowing, degradation, orgasm denial, intense orgasm, overstimulation, aftercare, subspace, restraints, being ignored as punishment, safe words in place
Words: 5.8k
my masterlist 📚
AO3 Link
You knew the pain had slowly consumed the pleasure you were experiencing but for some occasions such as now, you preferred that, the small sparks of pleasure almost like a reward through the burning pain in your cunt.
A thick glob of cum was slowly dripping out of your mouth from where it hung over the side of the bed, hand scrapping along the floor. There was a pillow squished under your hips to help keep them positioned up, after the long fucking that evening, you knew your knees wouldn’t be able to support your weight anymore. Then there was Sirius, positioned behind you, hands aggressively gripping your hips almost to the point of bruising, his hips frantically thrusting, cock pulsing in and out of your abused hole.
Your moans were spurring him on, completely unaware of your discomfort but this was your own fault, purposefully not telling him, wanting him to keep going. Of course, you were overdoing it, even getting to the point that your eyes were clenched shut in concentration, you didn’t care about the pain.
James and Remus were watching from the side, having already had their fill, James' cum dripping from your cunt, Sirius using it as lube for his own adventures and Remus’ glob dripped from your mouth, jaw aching from attempting to take his length as much as you could.
Both men were watching intently, their softened cocks already getting hard again from the sight before them. Remus silently shifted forward, trying to look at your face from where it hide, from the way you were just letting Sirius fuck you, he decided it was probably time to check in, knowing you’d already been through a lot that evening.
“Give me a minute Padfoot”, Remus muttered, squatting down in front of you.
Your only response was to groan with upset, attempting to roll your hips back against Sirius but he held you down easily with your lack of strength. The lycanthrope Marauder slipped his hand under your jaw, tilting it up at an awkward angle so that you could look into his eyes.
“Why are making him stop? It feels so good”, you sounded borderline pathetic, eyes dazed slightly.
Remus however did not seem at all convinced by your words that weren’t necessarily different to usual but it just seemed like he had an intuition, knowing you far too well. Tilting his head to the side, still studying your face intently, he asked, “Do you need to use your safe word?”
“No, no don’t stop”, once again, you attempted and failed to roll your hips. Remus’ fingers harden against your jaw, causing your eyes to sharpen at his serious expression. “Why are you making him stop? I’m fine”, you tried to sound convincing.
“Were you fine? Because you looked to me like you were in pain”, Remus stated matter-of-factly.
“No, it feels so good”, you tried to say. Remus only had to glance over your shoulder to Sirius, almost like they were having a silent conversation between themselves as Sirius dragged his cock an inch out of you, and the feeling of it against your sore walls gave you the automatic response to wince.
Instantly you regretted the action, with nowhere to hide your face, Remus and James had the perfect view to see your discomfort. “Wait, no- that… that wasn’t what you think it was, it still does feel good! Please don’t stop, I’m ok!”
Your panic was evident enough, knowing you’d been caught so rather than facing the truth, knowing you were hiding the pain from them, you tried to just carry on but by the sound of Remus’ heavy sigh, you knew you were in for it.
“I’m not doubting that it feels good but you KNOW you are supposed to tell us if it hurts and if we are going too far. This is why we have safe words”, Remus explained. You knew this, knew why these rules were there for your benefit but also for the boys, they didn’t want actually to cause you pain like this.
“But it’s not going too far, I don’t want Sirius to stop, please!”
Remus released his grip on your jaw and for a moment, your silly mind thought that Sirius was actually going to continue but he didn’t. In fact, he pulled his cock completely out of you which once more hurt and then his hands were pulling you further onto the bed and turning onto your back.
James was now hovering above you from where he sat at the top of the bed, holding down your wrists into the sheets, and Sirius did the same but with your ankles, the position causing your thighs to rub together which meant your cunt had no room to breathe, feeling uncomfortable.
However, your thoughts didn’t ponder on this for too long as the hulking form of Remus straddled over your hips, his naked body warm against yours. You were completely at their disposal being pinned down, especially as Remus's rough hand gripped your cheeks together, forcing you to look up at his intense stare.
“What are you supposed to do when you’re in pain and this goes too far?” he referred to the sex.
You tried to pull away, almost like warning alarms screaming in your consciousness, knowing what he was eventually getting to, now understanding how much you had fucked up.
However, the Marauder's grip was strong on your body and you were just wasting energy, feeling exhausted and giving up, knowing you wouldn’t be able to slither your way out of this. You whispered the answer to the most dominant Marauder who was waiting over your body.
“Excuse me? Answer me louder”, he demanded, still holding your cheeks, squishing them together so your lips formed an ‘o’ shape.
“I’m supposed to tell you or use my safe words”, the tone of your voice was evident that you were feeling defeated.
“Ah, so you do know what you are supposed to do. Now answer me honestly, are you in pain right now?”
In truth, you were in more pain than you’d realised now that you weren’t being fucked and the endorphins and adrenaline were wearing off. “A little bit…” you admitted to this, but still tried to downplay the situation.
“A little bit is still too far and you know it. Next question: should you have told us today that you’re in pain?” Remus continued to question you.
“Yes”, your voice was only just audible with its whisper as you began to feel anxious and sick, knowing exactly what was coming, especially with the intense way Remus looked down at you.
“Yes that’s right, so what do we do to naughty girls who don’t tell their partners that they are in pain?”
Now you’re struggling again, trying to cower away from him, sobbing as you shouted, “Remmie, please don’t-”.
“Hey!” he shouted with authority. “Enough of the whining, now answer my question.”
“They get punished”, once again defeated.
“Yes, they do. Because you were given a clear instruction and have chosen to ignore it so I need you to listen to me carefully”. You do exactly as instructed, relaxing your tense muscles and listening, knowing it was better to go along with it than make it any worse. But also, Sirius’ thumb was stroking soft circles into the skin of your ankle which helped the thundering of your heart in your chest. “Good, so you can follow instructions”, Remus mocked. “The safe word is still in place if this gets too much but, you need to understand why I am going to punish you. We have all of these set in place that when pain is becoming more than pleasure then you have to tell us because now, I’m sure you’re going to be sore for a few days and that’s not what we want, is it Pup?”
“No sir”, you reply submissively, eyes dropping down in defeat but he was quick to tilt your face up once more.
“Exactly. Now I want you to repeat back to me, why you are being punished before we start”.
A hot flush rushed through your body as the embarrassment set in as you had to recount why you were being punished. “Because I didn’t tell you to stop when it was starting to hurt”.
“Good”, Remus praised, his hard eyes softening ever so slightly which relaxed you even more but then his next words had your body feeling as if it had been doused in ice. “You are going to take 5 spanks from each of us then, you’ll be tied up and you are going to watch us. If you look away for even a second, we will start right at the beginning with the spanking. Then once we are done, you’re going to be a good girl and swallow each of our loads, do I make myself clear?”
You wanted to cry, not only were you being spanked which was humiliating in of itself, but now you had to watch each of them find their own release and satisfaction and then drink their rewards as you were left without any of your own. Your lack of response had James tapping against your wrists, snapping you out of your internal battle.
“Yes sir”.
Remus still continued to grasp your cheeks, dropping his authoritative stance to lean down to kiss your forehead. You could still use your safe words, you knew they wouldn’t actually push you so far but it was important for you to understand these situations had repercussions. You’d only ever been punished twice throughout your relationship with the trio and they understood that this was a big deal for you to go through, always wanting to make them happy and never wishing to upset them. On a few occasions, they had threatened to punish and you had used your safe words so you knew you could do it now but you decided to go along with it instead.
Not wanting to add anything further to your punishment, something the boys knew you were very good at as you were completely submissive to your core, you helped to move into position.
Remus sat on the edge of the bed, feet flat against the floor as you lay across his lap, feeling his strong thighs beneath your stomach, your arse presented to him like a gift in front of him. Your cunt still hurt from this position as your legs remained closed.
James noticed your visible discomfort and swiftly sat next to Remus, easing under your head so it now lay in his lap, his magical fingers stroking against your scalp helping to keep you relaxed. Sirius did the same, but had your legs lying across his lap, massaging the muscles to also feel somewhat at ease but as Remus lay his hand on your lower back, the reality of the situation returned.
“Are you going to count for me?” Remus asked, his voice a great deal softer than it had been a moment ago.
“Yes sir”.
Then he began. His large hand smacked against your left arse cheek and even though you knew it was coming, it still caused your to jump, thankful that all three of them were there to keep you on their laps. The impact stung as you bite your lip to hide the whimper before remembering your job, “one, sir.”
Remus continued with his spanks, remaining in the same spot on your left cheek, each one causing the skin to heat and jiggle, a sight all three men admired hungrily. As you took the fifth spank, Remus smothered the skin, squeezing the area and making sure to praise you, “Well done my love, you took them so well, counted each one perfectly”.
His words drifted into your mind and made you feel happy and safe, enjoying the momentary joy before the bodies beneath were swapping so James was in the middle, your arse on his lap with Remus cradling your head.
The quidditch-playing Marauder began to then spank your right cheek, but his hands were so big that they grazed over the sore area left by Remus, causing more stinging. However, this didn’t stop your counting, physically having to say the words helped to keep your consciousness present, knowing if you didn’t talk, you could just lose yourself to the punishment.
By the fifth smack to your arse and tenth overall, you were beginning to feel slightly buzzed, adrenaline returning to pump through your veins causing you to feel lightheaded and almost floaty. Remus stroked his thumb against your face, noticing your eyes were glazing over, tears threatening to spill.
This didn’t stop them, knowing when you were at your breaking point and when you were just feeling a little bit subspacey. Sirius now stared down at your spanked arse in his lap, enjoying the slightly raised skin from the impacts but also feeling just how drenched you were, your juices coating your thighs.
“Do you need to use your words, sweetheart?” Sirius asked softly as you began to silently cry.
“No”, you whispered with a wobbly lip, “sir”, you added quickly.
“My sweet girl, you’re doing so well, five more to go, you can do it”, Sirius praised before swatting his hand through the air and smacking the area where your arse cheek met your thigh, the exact space that you could be sitting on, his favourite spot.
You were slightly thankful for him choosing a different spot, your arse already feeling tender as you continued to count Sirius’ five spanks which added up to fifteen overall. This new area however caused your thighs to clench automatically which only meant that it squeezed your swollen cunt.
Remus caught each of your tears with the pad of his thumb but you knew you still looked like an absolute mess. Especially from between your legs as you were sure there was a wet patch forming on Sirius’ thighs from your still evident arousal, even through all the pain, the pleasure was still rampant.
Finally, after what felt like hours, you were rushing out the words, “Five, sir”. You were grateful for the spanks being over, trying to nuzzle your flushed face into Remus’ hands. You jumped slightly however as Sirius leaned down to kiss the burning hot skin of your ass, praising, “You did so so well honey”.
His erection throbbed under your stomach as he looked down at your pathetic state and you wished for nothing more than to stroke and touch it, momentarily forgetting that this wasn’t the end of your punishment.
Sirius didn’t however as he wrapped his strong arms around your middle, manhandling you up and further up the bed, you bounced on your sensitive arse a few times from where he placed you by the headboard. James then waved his wand in the direction of your arms and legs, wordlessly magically wrapping invisible string around your libs, causing them to extend and stretch to each of the bed posts.
You cried more now at the realisation that your punishment was nowhere near over and not entirely comfortable, still sitting on your sore ass. You also missed the warmth that had once surrounded you.
“Shhh, it’s ok love”, James encouraged, giving you a sad smile, tilting your head back to look up into his hazel eyes. He looked like he wanted to kiss you but refrained from doing so, showing too much praise and softness wasn't until the end of your punishment.
But then he was moving away, his messy hair bouncing as you watched him join the other two at the end of the bed and away from you.
Each of their cocks was hard and pointing up with the blood pumping hard through them and your eyes drifted between each of them, your tears slowing with the distraction.
Then Sirius was tugging James back by his hips, towards his own body until James' back and Sirius’ chest met and the long-haired Marauder’s mouth attached to the side of the other man’s neck. The muscles over both of their bodies flex with the instant arousal, James tilting his head further to give Sirius the room to move up and down, leaving open-mouthed kisses.
You didn’t look away, even in your spaced-out mind, something reminded you to not look away, not wishing to be spanked again. But it was also near-torturous watching the three of them, with the way your legs were spread wide, you weren’t able to roll your hips forward to relieve any of the tension in your clit, or rub your thighs together.
Sirius tweaked James’ perked nipples, causing the man to groan, turning his hand back so they could kiss, both mouths opening on instinct to allow their tongues to dance and twist together. The sight was almost hypnotic with how beautiful they all looked, especially as Remus moved closer to join from beside James.
Fuck, you were feeling almost desperate with arousal now, feeling fuzzy mentally and your chest had an unsettling tightness within with the need to be involved. But also, your horniness continued to cause your aching, swollen cunt to clench around nothing meaning you were absolutely drenched.
Remus’ grip encircled James’ veiny member that had beads of pre-cum already dripping from the tip, staining the sheets. The touch had James thrusting automatically, wanting to feel the pressure wrapped around him more. James moaned loudly, hungrily almost as he pulled back from Sirius’ mouth, but only so he could grab the back of Remus’ head to meet his mouth in a passionate kiss.
Sirius then started to wank himself off, teeth grazing along the exposed length of James’ neck. Remus was then moving off of James’ mouth to whisper something into his ear and you wished more than anything to hear what he said as the next second James’ eyes were flicking to yours, filled with pure lust.
A whimper slipped out of your mouth at the view, but you held your tongue for the pleas threatening to come out. You knew begging would get you nothing that you’d wanted as the first time you had ever been punished, you’d thrashed against the restraints, begging so much that your throat was raw for days and you’d practically passed out from exhaustion by the time the three of them had found their satisfaction.
So, you didn’t want to waste your energy, not that you had much of it left anyway after the fucking session that day or the spanking. Instead, you watched, biting your tongue to hold back the words you wanted to say and beg for.
Your eye contact with James swiftly broke as the man was suddenly pushed forward by Sirius who was on his knees behind, hands running up and down James’ toned back before cupping the arse perked in the air beneath him.
“So fucking pretty Prongs”, Sirius complimented, admiring the man’s body. James shifted his hips closer to Sirius who was now distracted as Remus climbed off of the bed and stood behind Sirius, hands running up and down his chest before gripping his long hair and pulling harshly to expose his ear.
Remus then whispered something to Sirius whose eyes rolled back to match his aggressive groan before nodding, opening his eyes fully to look down at James who was still waiting patiently on his hands and knees.
Sirius's mouth opened so he could spit down, aiming for James’ asshole, watching the glob gleam against the eagerly awaiting hole. Reaching down with his thumb, Sirius brushed against it, applying a little bit of pressure but not enough yet to slip inside.
James looked over his shoulder towards Sirius, “Fuck, I need you right now, I can take it Padfoot”, he begged.
Sirius raised a single eyebrow as he finally applied more pressure to the hole, feeling it expanding, “you really think you can take me without any prep?”
“Yes!” James then pushed back his hips, causing Sirius’ thumb to slip inside, all three men groaned, and Remus watched over Sirius’ shoulders and whispered something again.
“I’ll go slow”, Sirius stated, nodding at what Remus instructed, shifting on his knees closer ever so slightly and then guiding his cock to James' awaiting hole. Sirius spat again and wiped it over his cock, placing a steady hand on James’ hip to keep him steady and then he was slipping his cock in.
You watched as they both groaned in pure ecstasy, and you wanted nothing more to be feeling how they both felt right now.
Sirius managed to keep his slow thrusts for a couple of minutes, aware of not hurting James but the messy-haired Marauder was already rolling his hips back, attempting to increase the speed, enjoying the slight burn that came with the stretch of Sirius’ cock. This caused the man to lose all restraints and he began to mercilessly fuck the man beneath him. James gripped the sheets hard, his forehead resting on the sheets as his moans sounded pornographic, deep and husky.
The sight was beautiful but it was even more erotic as Sirius was gently pushed forward a little bit as Remus had his own plan as his fingers rested over his arse, watching the muscles clench with each thrust.
Your eyes didn’t know where to look between the three of your boyfriends before settling on Sirius whose eyes were wide, lips shiny with plumped from the kissing. His hips slowed as he felt Remus touch him from behind, nodding at the silent question being asked before Remus began gently easing two fingers into Sirius’ hole.
The thrusting completely stopped as Sirius grunted at the feeling of James’ hole wrapped around his cock and the two fingers stretching in his hole, grazing lazily over his prostate. His beautiful face tilted back at the pleasure, exposing his throat that Remus wrapped a strong hand around, keeping him still as he added a third finger.
“Do you want me to, Padfoot?” Remus asked loudly enough for everyone to hear. You wanted desperately to say you wanted him too but only released a small mewling whimper, still holding your tongue but the noise was enough for Remus’ eyes to flick to yours, his mouth quipping up into a smirk at how desperate you looked.
“Yes, Moony, please fuck me already”, Sirius sounded desperate as he widened his thighs on the bed, helping his cheeks to spread as Remus pulled his fingers out and lined himself up having spread his own precum over his cock, using it as lube.
Not even a second later, the three of them were joined. Remus stood behind the bed, his cock delved into Sirius’ asshole, whose face was scrunched in concentration, trying not to move Remus’ fat cock stretch him wide, whilst Sirus’ own cock was still warm inside of James’ asshole.
Eventually, the three of them began to rock back and forth on the bed, finding a rhythm that suited them best.
You were absolutely fucked out of your mind watching them all, usually, this sight would be your favourite but right now it was the worst punishment imaginable. Your cunt was swollen, throbbing with need and leaking your juices over the sheets and your arms and legs ached from being held out in the outstretched position, all you wanted to do was feel as good as them.
With ease and grace, the three men moved together, long limbs gripping onto each other, their low grunts like music to your ears, seeing the pleasure writhe on their expressions. Knowing the pleasure wasn’t something you were doing only added to the punishment, wishing that you were the one sucking their cocks, touching them, fucking them and making them feel good and it was only intensified by the subspace you were in mentally.
What was worst, was that other than the occasional glance that you’d experienced, the three of them completely ignored you, even though James wasn’t that far away from you, he never made the move to touch you. It was awful, letting you watch the three of them, even though you were highly aroused and wanting nothing more from their touch. It was a part of your punishment, you deserved this, they looked like they were having lots of fun without you, did they even need you?
The thoughts had your eyes now glassy with tears but you tried not to let them fall, they didn’t need a crying girl watching them fuck, so you remained silent.
Sirius was nearly overstimulated with the intense pleasure he was feeling with both his cock and prostate being stroked, it felt so fucking good, especially as Remus intensified his thrusts which he used as his own momentum to then fuck into James.
“Fuck! Just like that, right there…”, Sirius cried out over his shoulder as Remus gripped onto the back of his neck, using the hold to tilt his cock slightly so he could directly fuck into his pleasure spot.
“Yes! Yes! Yes- Fuck I’m gonna cum”, Sirius suddenly revealed.
It all happened in a blue. One minute you were watching the three of them fuck and the next, James was being pushed further onto the bed and Remus was helping Sirius stand up on the mattress, walking over James’ body until he stood over you. With one hand, he tipped your head back and the other gripped the base of his cock as it pulsed and throbbed.
It was on instinct that your mouth dropped open, completely forgetting about this part of your punishment as Sirius’ cum began spurting out, most of it dripping into your awaiting mouth as he watched eagerly, only a few drops collecting on your chin.
The tears you were keeping at bay began to slip down your warm cheeks, feeling humiliated as you swallowed his load and then licked his fingers clean as he scooped up the drops you’d missed. You hated this, hated that you were left to drink their reward whilst you were there without any sort of gratification.
“Look so pretty when you cry Darling”, Sirius whispered, his own cheeks rosy as he breathed heavily. For a second, he wiped away your tears before a moan sounded from behind him, causing him to jump off of the bed and sit in a nearby chair to watch the rest of the show.
This gave you the view of James who had been dragged down the bed by Remus and turned onto his back before he was leaning over him and hungrily kissing him. Both of their hands roamed over each other's bodies, exploring one another as their hips thrust together, cocks rubbing and bumping into one another.
James made the move first to reach in between their bodies, pushing Remus’ cock lower towards his awaiting hole and Remus didn’t waste another second before he was thrusting forward.
“That’s it, you’re taking me so well Prongs”, Remus praised the man beneath him, feeling his hole stretch the limit around his girthy member. Just like Sirius had, Remus began slow but soon wasn’t holding back, fucking hand and fast enough that the bed was shaking with the movements, rocking your body as well.
“Fuck, don’t stop!” James suddenly groaned as Remus wrapped his hand around his cock that was still throbbing between them, his wrist moving in time with his thrust.
Once your tears had started, you couldn’t stop them from falling now in jealousy and desperately watching them both, wanting nothing more to bed for them to just look at you, to acknowledge that you were even there, to get them to touch you but still, you wanted to be a good girl so refrained from doing this.
Remus's hair stuck to his forehead as he fucked James hard and it wasn’t that much longer before the man beneath him was shouting, “Wait, stop moony!”
Then he was scrambling to his feet on the bed, legs wobbling slightly as he now stood over you, hand moving up and down his shaft as your mouth dropped open in time to drink down his cum.
Your eyes drank in every little detail about James from his even messier hair than usual, the way his abs clenched with each spurt and the salty taste of his loads as it coated your tongue and this time, you managed to catch it all.
James smiled kindly down at you but didn’t get the chance to touch you as he was gently moved out of the way, stepping down to join Sirius at the side, as Remus now stood over you.
You held his eye contact, jaw aching as you held your mouth open submissively as he began to toss himself off. From this position, you could see his cock gleaming in the low light of the room, with what was Sirius and James’ natural body juices. The grip he held strengthed as it moved faster, his eyes glancing down at the wet patch that had formed between your legs and on the sheets blow.
“You look so pretty, Pup”, Remus’s voice was thick with arousal, using the nickname he only called you, causing your heart to beat harder in your chest as he finally spoke to you. This distracted you a little from the situation but then as something warm began to fill your mouth, you tried to concentrate on not choking, quickly having to swallow as his cum completely filled your mouth.
With a full body shudder, Remus’s last drop of cum spurted from his tip and another swallow later, he was finished, shoulders dropping releasing a heavy sigh in relief.
Remus then knelt between your legs, gripping your cheeks, much like he’d done earlier, holding your attention. “Do you understand why you’ve been punished?”
“Yes, sir.” Your voice was timid, tears still cascading down your cheeks. You were completely and utterly submissive.
“Good girl”. He released the grip on your cheeks and began to stroke the aching muscle instead but you were quick to nuzzle into his hand, wanting to feel any sort of comfort. “My sweet girl, you did so well”.
“I did?” you asked, your eyes and voice filling with hope at making him happy.
“You did! Not even begging once did you? I’m so proud of you”, Remus encouraged. You could have cried more at the praises, almost like what he said was sacred it was just what you needed. “What do you want my love?” Remus finally asked, his eyes softened as he looked at you.
“I…I want you all”, you finally sobbed, pulling on your invisible restraints. Remus motioned for James and Sirius to step forward, both of them holding their wands and waving them, releasing your limbs from the bonds.
With nothing to hold up your body, you instantly were slumping forward into Remus who was able to ease you into his lap, your head resting against his chest as the other two men sat on either side, beginning to massage your sore muscles.
Their skin was hot to the touch but that only helped you to relax further. “Oh love, you’re so wet”, Remus mumbled, feeling the evidence of your arousal over your thighs which now coated his from where you sat. “How much does it hurt?” he asked, referring to in between your legs.
You wanted to lie and say it didn’t anymore, wanting to feel their cocks but you knew you couldn’t, having already received one punishment.
“It…it still hurts, but I’m so horny, I don’t know what do you!”, you were near hysterics with how desperate you were feeling, it felt like your core was incredibly heavy with tautness, desperate for relief but your actual cunt was still tender.
Remus began to steadily rock the two of you on the spot as James lay sweet kisses to your temple. You leaned into the feeling, savouring the sensation as each of them kissed a part of your body but it wasn’t enough.
“Please…”.
“Shhh Pup, I’m going to try and touch you but if it hurts you need to say”, Remus suggested, brushing his fingers over your stomach and between your thighs. It was only a gentle touch to your clit but even that caused burning hot sparks of pain, enough so that you flinched and tried to pull your hips away from him on instinct.
“That’s ok, I’m not going to touch you”, Remus calmly stated, kissing your temple and looking towards Sirius for some help.
Sirius leaned over to kiss your moist cheek, his hand gripped tightly in his hand as he muttered, “Im going to make you feel good Sweetheart”.
You weren’t entirely sure what he meant but then he was pointing his wand at your cunt, whispering a spell under his breath and it was almost an instantaneous reaction.
Your pussy tightened and you were cumming with one of the most intense orgasms you’d ever experienced. Aggressively rocking your hips with each shuddering contracting of your spasming, swollen cunt, nails harshly dripping into whoever you had grabbed. White lights flashed in your vision and finally, you were feeling that orgasmic high, even without being touched.
You were only half aware that you’d begun screaming, head slipping off Remus’ shoulder as you began dizzy and lightheaded. The feeling then began to fade as Sirius stopped the spell, you weren’t even sure how long it had been going on for but by the time your cunt had stopped squeezing around nothing, you were struggling to breathe through the intensity.
“Nice long breaths, that’s it, we’ve got you, Love”, Remus's voice spoke from next to your ears as he cradled your body. It took several minutes to even gather a single lucid thought that made sense, mostly just aware that you were mentally and physically drained.
The subspace you’d been in was still at the forefront of your consciousness, needing to feel all three of them, listening to their words of affirmation.
“Let’s get you up before you completely pass out”, James suggested, seeing your eyes dropping. The three of them helped you to the bathroom, mostly having to carry you as your legs didn’t seem to want to work after being fucked, punished, and then the intense orgasm.
In the bathroom, they helped you to the toilet before the four of you bathed, and you moaned greatly to the hot, soapy water that mellowed your aching body.
“I love you”, you whispered to all three of them.
“We love you too, Pup”, Remus mumbled against your temple before helping you out of the bath, wrapping your naked body in a fluffy towel, and carefully drying your body. James was then next to you, helping you into your favourite pair of fluffy pyjamas, making sure the shorts weren’t too tight to give your pussy space to still breathe and heal.
Helping you back into bed, the wet stains now vanished thanks to Sirius, you all but collapsed into the centre of the bed, half aware that someone shifted beneath you and other arms were wrapping around you in a strong cocoon. You weren’t sure who was where as you fell asleep within seconds but you knew you felt grounded and whole.
#poly!marauders#the marauders#marauders smut#james potter smut#james potter x reader#remus lupin smut#remus lupin x reader#sirius black smut#sirius black x reader#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#hp smut#mine*#request
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Catch Me If You Can 3/3
Mob!Bucky x Single mom Police officer reader
Warnings:
I really like this AU so while this is the final part, BUT I will write stuff for these two here and there (like the proposal and so much more I have in my head for them)
Part 1
Part 2
-
Your heart stopped as you stood near the door, hearing the conversation between your son and Bucky. The rest of what they were saying was drowned out with a dull buzz filling your ears, all your emotions coursing through your body all at once.
Dad.
A word Jordan had resented all is life, only associating the term with a man who wanted nothing to do with him. Dad meant loneliness, fear, abandonment, abuse.
Dad was something he never had an interest in.
No one you had ever dated in the past was worthy of being in Jordan’s life, something you put first whenever you went out. Not one person had made it even close to meeting him let alone standing in as a father figure to him. You soon accepted that your life would be just you and him until he grew up and had his own family as well.
But now?
Dad.
And Bucky, of all people.
You didn’t even realize tears were streaming down your face until you felt a drop slip onto your collarbone, quickly slapping your hand over your mouth and rushing to your bedroom, shutting the door. You buried your face in your hands, your heart twisting at the thought of how safe your son must have felt around Bucky. How he loved spending time with the mob boss, never wanting to leave, feeling like he was at home more and more each day.
He wasn’t the only one.
-
It wasn’t shock that Bucky felt.
It was pain.
Pain that he saw Jordan as his own but couldn’t take on that role.
Pain where whenever he spent time with either of you, he’d never want it to end, finding any excuse under the sun to get you to stay.
But how could he feel all that when you were both from two different worlds, one where the two couldn’t mix.
If only.
“I think you should ask mama bear how she’d feel about that” Bucky softly ruffled his hair while Jordan made a thinking face before nodding to himself. He was well aware that uncle Bucky wasn’t exactly in the all clear but he wasn’t blind either. You definitely used less no-no words when talking about Bucky. You’d mumble something occasionally, but he caught the little smile that graced your lips, often rolling his eyes when you’d try to wipe it off immediately after.
“I don’t think she wants to arrest you anymore but I can’t make any promises. Mommy takes her job very seriously” Jordan downed the rest of his juice while Bucky chuckled, nodding his head.
“Mama is very good at her job, she puts away the bad guys”
“But you’re a good guy” Jordan shrugged, continuing to work on his homework, hoping to revisit the topic later.
As soon as Jordan was ready for bed and tucked in, you went down to the kitchen for a late night snack, book in hand with your silk robe tied around your body. You figured everyone had gone to sleep, allowing yourself to lounge in something that made you feel good, the outfit on the racier side. You set your mug down on the marble counter top, popping a strawberry into your mouth and opening your book, too engrossed in the story to hear the footsteps that padded down the hall.
Bucky blinked as soon as he walked in the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks when his eyes fell on you. Wrapped in silk. Your lips stained with sweet berry juice. Your plush thighs on full display. In his kitchen. Where he could bend you over the counter-
He mentally flicked himself in the ear, letting out a cough to announce his presence, hoping some blood would flowback to his brain before you shot his dick off. Your eyes flicked up, your heart jolting at the sight of a very shirtless Bucky, his t-shirt slung over his shoulder, joggers riding low on his hips. Sweat glistened off his tan skin, the veins on his forearms prominent from the workout he just had.
“Thought everyone was asleep” You wrapped your roble a little tighter around yourself, ignoring the butterflies that rabidly bounced around your stomach, willing your eyes to look away from the dark trail of hair on his stomach that lead right down to his-
“Couldn’t sleep” Bucky broke you out of your filthy train of thoughts as he walked to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and debating on dumping it on his head to calm himself down. “I had an interesting conversation with the little one” He murmured, taking a swing from the water bottle, struggling to take his eyes off the way you fit so perfectly in his home, so pretty in silk, the type of thing he’d want to come home to everyday-
“I heard” You nodded, taking a long sip of tea, trying to calm your racing heart. Everything about him was perfect, except for the fact that his entire being was dedicated to a life of crime. While Jordan didn’t tell you about his request to call Bucky something different, he did talk your ear off about uncle Steve and Bucky’s motor bike collection. “Didn’t realize you’d all be so good with kids”
Bucky chuckled, equally surprised with himself over how easy it was for him to move with Jordan. It came naturally. He’d thought about having a family before but this was the first time he saw himself as a father-
Stop.
You’re not his dad.
“Again, I’m part of the mob sweets, not a monster. Family comes first”
You hummed, before continuing, “So how did that conversation go?”
“Asked him what his pretty mama would think” Bucky tossed you a charming smirk which you rolled your eyes to, biting down hard on your lip to keep from smiling.
“In those exact words Barnes?”
“It’s definitely what I was thinking” Bucky shrugged while you took another swing of tea to stifle a giggle. Neither of you said anything else, quietly continuing what you were doing unable to look each other in the eye. Jordan sat at the top of the stairs, smacking his forehead before trudging back to bed. Clearly he wasn’t the only one who adored his mommy.
Something about that night had changed things. You still maintained that the nature of your relationship was strictly because of Jordan's safety and nothing else. You’d even once jokingly cuffed Bucky, much to his surprise, his eyes growing wide when he found himself pinned against the wall, caught off guard with how swiftly you were able to hold him down.
He felt goosebumps erupt over his skin when you teasingly whispered his rights before uncuffing him and twirling the metal in your hands. Jordan found it hilarious, while Bucky was left a babbling mess, insisting he let you arrest him and that you’d never actually be able to disarm him so easily if he fought back.
In fact, he even insisted you try again.
And again.
And again.
Steve once had to slowly pull Jordan away, distracting him with another kinder egg, worrying your latest arrest would turn into something else, watching Bucky’s pupils dilate with the clink of the cuffs wrapping around his wrist. He also noticed the way you smirked, your hands lingering on him for longer than necessary for a lawful arrest.
-
“You like my mom”
Bucky’s eyes shot up, staring at the little thing that was sprawled out on the office floor, putting together Lego’s, the mop of dark hair popping up and staring directly at him.
“What?”
“You like mommy, your face does that pink thing whenever your near her, even when she tries to put you in jail. Have you no shame”
Steve cackled from the corner, while Bucky stood like a fish gaping out of water, his cheeks blushing heavily again.
“You’re doing it right now” Jordan narrowed his eyes while Bucky helplessly tried to make his face less pink, the color only getting worse. “You like her”
Well, the little devil spawn wasn’t wrong, there was no doubt Bucky was harboring a school boy crush on you, growing worse each day.
“And she likes you” Jordan stated, “so what are you going to do about it” He set down the Lego pieces and crossed his arms over his chest, making it clear he wasn’t going to let Bucky weasel his way out of this. Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, realizing he hadn’t been as subtle as he thought while your son continued to stare at him.
“J, it’s complicated, it’s hard for your to understand- your mom- and me- she-”
“I’m sure it takes a real Sherlock to understand why mommy doesn’t want to date her sworn enemy” Jordan dead panned, giving Bucky another pointed look, not needing anyone to break down for him why there was so much unspoken tension between you two.
His mom was a police officer.
She followed the rules.
She respected the law.
Bucky didn’t follow the rules.
The law meant nothing to him.
You weren’t exactly a match made in heaven.
But Jordan wasn’t blind to the way you also got giggly around Bucky no matter how hard you tried not to. It wasn’t often he saw his mama looked so happy and relaxed. If his favorite new uncle made you swoon, who was he to stand in the way of true love and getting a new daddy.
“You like her. She likes you. Right?”
“Okay so it’s not complicated” Bucky huffed while Jordan nodded, expecting uncle Bucky to walk over to you right that instant and profess his feelings out in the open. “But I don’t think I fit into her life like that though kid” He tried but Jordan wasn’t having any of it.
“Ugh, but she has no life!" Jordan rolled his eyes while Steve wheezed, watching Bucky single handedly get taken down by someone that was a quarter of his size. “All she used to do is work and help me with homework and complain about you” He got up from his place on the floor and sat in the office chair opposite to Bucky. “And she still complains about you but now she giggles in between and she doesn’t call you that word that rhymes with mother tucker”
“What does she call me now” Bucky’s curiosity piqued while Jordan scrunched his nose.
“Welllll, why don’t’cha get yourself arrested again and see what she says” He kicked his feet innocently, looking at the mob boss in the eye, “Uncle Steve, he’s blushing again” Jordan shot out an accusatory finger while Steve howled, giving your son a high five.
“That’s my little man, you tell him”
“I’m trying to but he’s still sitting here drinking expensive spicy apple juice”
“You know too much for your age” Bucky rubbed his temples, torn between what his next steps would be and actually considering Jordan’s advice to have you cuff him.
What he wouldn’t do to have your hands on-
“You don’t know enough” Jordan countered, plucking the juice box he left on the table, taking a long sip, happy to have his uncle Steve as an ally.
All it took was a threatening phone call from your ex’s sister for Bucky to get you to stay even longer on his insistence. He didn’t care that she lived in an entirely different continent or that she was a delusional loon; he’d use any excuse possible to keep you near by.
“James, she lives in another country-
“Doesn’t matter”
“I’ve already stayed a month!”
“Stay another”
“But-
“No”
You didn’t like that your feelings were getting harder and harder to contain, your moral compass going haywire, trying to figure out what to do. Seeing Bucky with Jordan pained you the most. Your baby boys eyes would light up as soon as he’d hear the mob boss walk through the door, your heart swelling each time you saw Bucky parading around the house, carrying him on his shoulders. Steve, Sam and Peter didn’t help either, the three of them taking care of Jordan just as much as you did when they weren’t off on illegal shady antics, their line of work as wholesome and innocent as your son when he claimed he only had one kinder egg.
Bald faced liars, all of them.
You felt loved, safe and alone at the same time, conflicted over which direction to follow, your heart screaming to just look the other way at the wrong things he did. But that wasn’t the job. That wasn’t what you stood for. You took an oath to protect innocent lives and accepting full on gang activity didn’t align with that.
Did it?
Though Jordan wasn’t having any of it either, noticing more and more tension building between the both of you, more longing glances and lingering touches each time you were near one another.
If neither of you were going to do anything about it, he’d have to take matters into his own little hands.
Like tonight.
You found it strange that Jordan had insisted on only going out with Steve, Sam and Peter, your little one usually following Bucky around the most. He insisted he was perfectly fine with only going with these three, also throwing in that uncle Bucky was very very busy with lots of meetings, therefore couldn't join them for the movie they were going to see. You were hesitant at first but he gave you little room for argument.
“Jordan, the screen here is literally bigger than the movie theater anyway-
“But moooommy, pleeaaseeee?” He gave you his best puppy eyes and pout, something he seemed to perfect from his latest idol, jumping on you when you finally agreed, though not trusting why Sam, Steve and Peter looked equally giggly and guilty. They left for the day, giving you a night to relax in the quiet mansion.
You decided to pamper yourself, taking advantage of the large tub in the guest bathroom, filling it up with essential oils and bath salts, letting out a content sigh feeling the hot water ease your muscles. You stayed there till the water felt cold, rinsing off and toweling off. You moisturized and slipped on one of your nicer silk robes, figuring you could wear your pj’s later when you actually went to bed.
Not like anyone was home now anyway.
You went down to the kitchen to grab some tea before heading back to your room, curious to find the office door cracked open; typically closed when Bucky was working.
Was he working?
“I see you’re busy” You poked your head into Bucky’s dimly lit office to find him lounging with a book, sipping on dark amber liquid, wearing a soft tshirt and joggers, clearly the opposite of busy with lots and lots of meetings.
You’d have a word with your little one later.
“Where did everyone go” Bucky cocked an eyebrow at the surprisingly silent house, mentally holding himself back as you stepped into his office in your robe again, desperately wanting to pounce on you. his eyes lingered on you, swallowing thickly noting he couldn’t see your sleep shorts from under the robe, were you wearing nothing underneath-
“My baby was an angel before he met you” You shook your head at your sons sneaky work of finding a way to get you and Bucky together alone. “He said you were busy today and then took off with your henchmen, they’ve been out for hours”
“Smart kid” Bucky snorted, secretly proud of the little mob boss in the making, though you’d probably serve his head on a platter if you heard his thoughts. “Want a drink?” He held up his glass, getting up to grab you one as well, dropping a few ice cubes in the crystal.
You bit your lip as you approached him, hoping he wouldn’t be able to tell you felt like you had been doused in lava, your heart beating a mile a minute with the thick tension that hung in the air. A drink meant nothing; he offered it to you because he was polite. You’d have your drink and then your ass right back to your room because if you waited there a second longer, with him in those fitting sweats-
“You look very busy yourself, officer” Bucky cocked an eyebrow, nodding at your clothing, or lack thereof, shamelessly letting his eyes wander up and down your body while he handed you the glass, clinking it with yours before taking a long drag.
“Hmm, took advantage of the peace and quiet and clawfoot tub” You licked the drop of whiskey that clung to your lips, letting the burn distract your brain yelling at you to run while your heart wrapped bricks around your ankles, keeping you in place. “It was nice. I’ll miss it when we go back home”
You threw the last bit out there as a reminder for yourself; none of this was forever. All good things would have to come to and end at some point. Bucky felt his stomach drop at the thought; each day he’d find any excuse he could to have you stay just one extra day.
Just one extra day to bicker with you.
One extra day to spend with the little one.
One extra day to get on your nerves.
One extra day to spend with the family he’d always thought he’d have one day.
“You don’t have to go any time soon” Bucky whispered, unsure if he wanted you to hear those words, taking a step closer to you, “Stay...a little longer?”
“You say that a lot, I might just end up staying forever” You let out a breathless laugh, feeling the warmth of the alcohol relax your muscles, giving into the pull you felt towards him.
“Would that be so bad?” He smirked but the inside of him was on his knees, begging for a chance, just one.
“It-it would-” you couldn’t find the words, stumbling over them, getting lost in the baby blues gazing down at you, his eyes darting between yours and your lips. You didn’t realize you were leaning in, your body following what it needed, morals and ethics be damned.
“I know its not just me” Bucky whispered, hesitantly putting his hand on your waist to pull you closer, wanting to feel your soft lips on his, hug you and cuddle you, make you his. He didn’t want just one night, he wanted this for life. “Tell me you feel the same way”
You felt your throat tighten, your body tensing in his hold as he rested his forehead against yours, your nose bumping against his. He held you even closer to him, your hands gripping onto his shirt feeling his warm breath gently fan onto your face, his lips just brushing against yours, just as soft as you’d imagined they’d be. You nearly gave into him, pulling away at the last second, tears rolling down your cheeks.
“What’s wrong, doll”
“We can’t-” You shook, hanging your head, overwhelmed over what all of this entailed, what this would mean to you, what you would do if this didn’t work, your baby boy came first-
“We can” Bucky cupped your cheeks, breaking you away from your spiral, swiping away the tears that fell, “We can baby, I promise we can”
“How- how do we make this work James, we come from two different worlds” You tried to reason with him but again this was more to yourself; how could you drop your entire life for this, risk everything for something so uncertain even though your heart yearned for it.
“Princess, I will show you everything, every damn thing under my name, I know it’s not perfect, but just let me show you. All of it. No secrets from you, not one. I promise, I won’t hurt you, not your baby, I care about you. I care about you both”
“James-”
“Just give me a chance” His grip around your waist tightened, wrapping his arms around you to hold you close, bringing one hand to cradle your face, tilting it to look up at him. “C’mon sweets, you’ve been chasing after me for ages” He smirked against your lips, kissing them softly. “Now you got me”
“Then we take things slow” You stated firmly, pressing your finger into his chest, “and no funny business Barnes” You swatted his hand away when he trailed them to the hem of your robe, brushing your bare thigh making goosebumps erupt all over your skin. He chuckled at the pointed look you gave him, trying and failing at hiding how turned on you were. “And Jordan can’t know yet” His face softened, nodding in agreement, understanding where you were coming from.
“Just me and you” He kissed you again, gentle and sweet, a promise of taking things your way, baring his heart and soul to you in any way you asked. It didn’t matter how badly he wanted to claim you in every way, make you his at the alter if you let him, be a daddy to your baby boy. He’d wait as long as you needed.
“Just me and you”
-
Steve and Sam had easily put two and two together as soon as they got back home, noting their boss was smiling like an idiot to himself most of the time, a stark contrast from his signature grumpy scowl. They never said anything, but they did pride themselves as being part o the reason this happened; after all they were the ones who conspired with your little one to get you two alone.
If Bucky was sweet before, he was tooth rottingly adorable now but only when it was just the two of you. You didn’t dare breathe a word to Jordan, not wanting to give him false hope if things didn’t work out. Truthful to his word, he came clean about everything. With each of his confessions, the world turned into different shades of grey instead of black and white.
Nothing he did was legal.
Nor was it hurting those who were innocent.
Your dead beat of an ex had a clean criminal record and was a standup citizen until it came to being a father and decent human being. Your son hardly thought twice about him. Bucky had killed more people than fingers on your hands but Jordan adored him.
When it was just the two of you, Bucky turned into a teddy bear, constantly kissing and hugging you, romantic as ever when he got the chance. He’d send the cooks away so he could make dinner, run you a bath when you had a long day, massage your feet while you sat on his desk in his office. He’d be on calls, the phone resting between his shoulder and ear while his calloused fingers would work at your toes, gently rubbing and pressing the aches out, before massaging up your calves. As soon as you heard the patter of little feet down the hall, you’d hop off and slink away, hiding the smile on your face when your son would take your place instead, plopping himself in Bucky’s office noting he was blushing again for some reason.
You still hadn’t been intimate with him yet. As much as he wanted you, Bucky didn’t let you feel an ounce of pressure, no matter how badly he wanted to love on you completely and show you exactly how much he adored you in the closest way possible. He relished in every second he got to spend with you, especially the select nights he got alone with you.
Like tonight.
“Promise you’ll try and be nice to Uncle Bucky?” Jordan cocked his head with hopeful eyes, still hoping his ship would sail of getting you both together. Thus far, nothing seemed to have changed and his hopes were starting to drop. “Please?”
“I’ll try” you giggled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before he slipped into the dark SUV with Bucky’s side pieces in tow, Sam, Steve and Peter all grinning widely for a boys trip over the weekend. “No promises though baby”
“Yeah officer, play nice with our boss” Steve winked while Sam cackled, closing the door and revving off, leaving the large mansion absolutely empty. The cleaning staff, gardeners s and cooks had been given the weekend off along with a generous bonus to keep them away for a few days. You slipped into one of Bucky’s t-shirts which hung loosely on you, not bothering to wear anything else underneath. You inhaled the soft scent of the fabric, his cologne and something distinctly him lingering on the fabric making you feel warm and fuzzy. The sound of keys hitting the keyboard carried through the hall; Bucky typing away at his computer but you couldn’t help wanting to be wrapped up in his arms, quietly peeking into his office and padding over to him.
“My pretty girl” He cooed, scooping you in his arms while you curled up on his lap, playing with his chains as he continued to work. “You miss me, baby?”
“You wish” You bit your lip, playfully rolling your eyes, knowing damn well you had missed him like crazy after he holed himself up with work business. “Don’t flatter yourself”
“You’re the one slinking around me, kitten” Bucky tilted your chin up pecking a tiny kiss on your nose, making you giggle. “C’mon, I wanna cuddle with my girl” He murmured in your ear making you shiver. He held you to his chest as he picked you up and carried you over to his room, setting you down on his bed before walking over to the closet and slipping on some sweats. He didn’t bother with a shirt, striding with his grey joggers riding low around his waist, giving you a pretty view of his Adonis belt, pointing straight to his-
“Angel” He crawled on top of you, humming at the feeling of your soft body under his, peppering kisses from your neck to your jaw, eventually pressing them against your lips. The kiss started soft and slowly, gradually getting more heated when you grazed his scalp with your nails, gasping at the feeling of his erection pressing against your clothed core. You instinctively moved your thighs further apart, granting him more access to rut against you, panting each time he groaned, his tongue slipping into your mouth.
He didn’t pull away until he needed air, his warm breath fanning against your face, hearts beating erratically. This had been the closest you’d ever been with each other, your thighs gently squeezing around his waist, making him thrust against you, drawing a out a moan. Bucky lost himself for a moment, gently caressing his thumb on your cheek, the other hand cradling your head, his large frame keeping you safely tucked underneath him, hidden from the rest of the world.
Exactly what he wanted.
Safe in his arms.
“Do you want this?” Bucky stopped what he was doing to check on you, his hand still softly stroking your skin. “We can stop, we don’t have to do this tonight-
“Don’t stop” you whispered, pulling him back, your arms clinging around his shoulders, eyes pleading for him to do something.
“I’ve wanted this for so long baby” He sat back on his heels, toying with the hem of your tshirt, his thick cock straining against painfully against his sweats. “Can I?” He waited for your permission before carefully removing your top off and ridding himself of his sweats and boxers, desperately just wanting to feel your bare skin against his. You felt too needy, too desperate for him, whining when he pulled away to settled between your legs, pressing a delicate kiss to your inner thigh.
“Just want you James, please?” You pouted, feeling empty when his leaky cock was right there, though his sinful mouth was tempting.
“Just one taste, angel?” He begged, inching down to your soaked pussy, spreading your folds apart before sealing his lips around your swollen clit, his eyes rolling back at the way your legs suffocated him.
“J-James” You moaned out, your hand going down to tug at his roots, grinding your pussy on his face, his groans adding vibrations to your sensitive nub. He felt greedy, burying his tongue deep in your cunt, lapping and drinking every drop your body was willing to give, his arms coming up to hold your legs apart, his head shaking side to side. He sucked and licked until you were a babbling mess, clawing at his shoulders to pull him back on top of you, bucking your hips up against his thick hard length.
“What do you need, pretty baby” Bucky cooed, soothing your whimpers with his cock rubbing through your folds, hushing you gently.
“Want you James, please?”
“I got you sweets, don’t worry, you ready?” He kept his eyes locked with yours, holding still until you nodded, the blunt tip of his cock pushing into your pulsating entrance.
“Oh fuck-” You cried at the way his girth started to fill you, your pussy tightly hugging his cock, a gentle delicious burn radiating through your lower half, stretching open for him. “Baby-”
“Shhhh” Bucky continued to slowly inch inside you, pressing soft kisses along your neck, his body weight resting on top of you, “It’s just me sweets, just your Bucky”
“Fuck, Bucky” Your nails dug into his shoulders, nearly breaking the skin, hissing at the way you could almost feel him in your belly.
“Breathe, Its just you and me baby, just you and me, yeah?” He kissed your temple, feeling just as desperate and needy as you, his cock throbbing at the way it felt to hold you, kiss you, feel all of you, be inside you.
“Just-just you and me” You whispered, clinging onto his body as he continued to press into you, groaning at the way your pussy fluttered around him, pulling him deeper.
“Thats my good girl” His large hand held your thigh up higher on his waist, fully sheathing himself inside you. Bucky panted against your neck in an attempt to calm himself down, feeing his balls already pulling towards his body, his cock thumping, ready to blow. He started with slow languid thrusts, savoring the pretty moans you made for him, your softness connected to him.
“Such a pretty mama” His lips brushed against yours, loving the soft touch of your skin, his hands feeling every inch of your body. He sat back on his heels, keeping his cock deep inside you, groaning at the sight of your body on full display just for him, your lip caught between your teeth, feeling hot under his intense gaze.
“Fuck- Fuck right there baby, please, right there!” You sobbed in pleasure as Bucky moved your thighs up, practically folding you in half, hitting an even deeper angle, rubbing perfectly at your gspopt. “Don’t-don’t stop-”
“I won’t stop, mama” He traced the delicate lines of stretch marks that were scattered across your lower belly and thighs, evidence of the sweet baby boy your body had given you, the boy he also now grew to love. “Wanted to make love to you for so long baby. wanted you to feel how much I care about you, make you feel so good” Bucky’s emotions were all over the place, feeling pleasure and love for you at an all time high.
His eyes were locked at there the two of you connected, snapping his hips forward, watching your tummy bulge with each thrust, cream covering the trimmed curls at his base. Your broken moans spurred him off, collapsing on top of you with your legs slung over his shoulders, his cock impossibly deep. His hands snaked up to pin your arms above your head, your fingers intertwined with his, keeping you completely surrendered to him.
“I love you” He whispered, voice thick with emotion, foreheads pressed together, not a single part of your body not touching his. “and everything you brought into this world”
“I-I love you” You half sobbed and stuttered out, eyes rolling back feeling him work his hips faster, pushing you against the pillows and pounding you into the mattress. “FUCK-JAMIE-THERE-R-RIGHT-TH-THERE”
“S’that your spot babygirl? Right there, huh angel, god you make me wanna blow, you sound so pretty with my cock in you” Bucky groaned, no longer able to hold back, moaning along with you, the sound of skin slapping on skin growing faster and louder. “Fuck-cum baby, cum on this dick, cum on my dick, s’all yours angel, give me that cream”
“YES-YES-OH-Jamiee!” Your back bowed, legs shaking and trembling as your orgasm started to pulse, waves of please growing more and more intense as he fucked you through your high. Your greedy pussy sucked him in deeper, pulling him closer and closer.
“Yeah, m’your Jamie baby” Bucky let out a soft chuckle at the new name you’d given him, one only you’d ever be able to use. It got him off more, his pace losing rhythm, his own climax just at the edge. “Just your Jamie angel, only for you, fuck baby, m’gonna cum for you, all this is for you” He tucked his face into the crook of your neck, moaning loudly and nipping against your skin as he started to pump you full of his cum, giving you sloppy thrusts, making sure you were filled with every drop.
You cooed and rubbed his body while he panted, his cock slowly beginning to soften, tucking himself further into your hold. You smiled at how soft and loving he was in that moment, pressing a delicate kiss to his forehead, his blue eyes peering up at you at the feeling of your lips.
“Look at my pretty girl being all sweet on me” He grinned, yelping at the pinch you gave to his side.
“Don’t make me cuff you, Barnes” You huffed while pink dusted his cheeks at the thought, his mind now going other places.
“Threatening me with a good time, sweetheart?” He smirked, wrapping his arms around you and rolling over, pinning you back against the mattress again, this time his hands locking around your wrists. “S’that what you want pretty girl? To have my in cuffs? Do everything you ask? Be a good girl for me and I’ll let you have your way with me one day officer”
“Be a good girl for you?” You smirked, wrapping your legs around his waist, bucking your hips up against his sensitive cock, making him hiss, nipping your bottom lip between his teeth, making you whimper.
“Careful babygirl, don’t forget who you’re in bed with” His lips continued to brush against you, grazing your skin down to your collar bone. “Let me remind you, sweets”
-
As soon as the boys were back, Jordan ran full speed to you, jumping in your arms first, talking your ear off about all the ridiculous antics he had done with Steve, Sam and Peter. You huffed, playfully rolling your eyes while keeping him on your hip, before setting him down on his feet and instructing him to wash up so he could tell you everything properly over dinner. Jordan clung onto you for just a second longer, he could’ve sworn there was a faint scent of cologne that clung onto you, one just like-
While you were entranced with your little one, Bucky was entranced with you. Effortlessly swaying with your baby who was clearly not exactly a tiny baby anymore, the scrunch on of your nose when you smiled around him, the way your eyes sparkled. Jordan ran up two steps at a time to shower as fast as humanly possible while Bucky snuck up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled you to his chest, his sneaky hands pawing at your hips, slipping up your shirt.
“You’re such a milf” Bucky smirked while you gasped, smacking his chest, eyes darting around the room to see if anyone heard.
“Bucky” You hissed, squeaking, your face growing hot when he hugged you tighter, burying his face into your hair.
“It’s true though princess, God damn” He kissed up the side of your neck, “Such a pretty mama, can’t help it”
“Yeah, well your little side kick is going to want to tell you all about the weekend” You giggled, wiggling out of his hold and walking off to the kitchen to get dinner started while Bucky hummed, making his way to the office. Jordan scrubbed himself down within seconds before rushing back down to tell you everything, eyeing you curiously while you set his plate in front of him.
“Isn’t that Uncle Bucky’s shirt?” He pipped up, with owlish eyes, waiting for your asnwer.
“Oh-so it is” You looked down at the black tshirt you were wearing, one that went to the middle of your thighs. “Uh-Must’ve gotten mixed up in the laundry” You shrugged, hoping he wouldn’t ask anything else.
As if you’d ever get so lucky.
“But it’s so big on you-”
“Tell me about your weekend baby” You cut him off while Jordan narrowed his eyes at you accusingly, deciding he’d have better luck elsewhere instead of prying with you. He gave you his best summarized version before running back upstairs and taking his designated spot beside Bucky (going to the fridge first to grab himself some juice).
“Mommy was wearing your shirt” He stated, inching closer to Bucky, noting the way the Mob bosses’ eyes grew wide, his cheeks blushing deeply, crawling down his neck and up to his ears.
“I-Uh-Oh-”
Not once had Jordan ever see Bucky get flustered except when it involved you, his hopes growing high again, also why did Bucky smell like your shampoo-
“Maybe-maybe it got switched in the laundry?”
“You never do laundry, the cleaners do”
“They were away this weekend, J”
“So it was just you and mommy”
“Yup”
“Whatcha do”
“......work”
“What did mommy do”
“....laundry?”
“The whole weekend?”
“Yup”
“You smell like her”
*silence*
*Blushing intensifies*
*Little shy smile creeps on Bucky’s face*
“Did you finally tell mommy you like her? Oh God, you’re pink again” Jordan sat right up, eyes wide with anticipation while Bucky bit his lip before answering.
“I did”
“So...”
“So?”
“Can I call you dad, now?” Jordan’s voice was a whisper again, the confidence he had all this time turning into nervousness, playing with his fingers, avoiding Bucky’s eyes. Bucky felt his heart melt, pulling him onto his lap, pressing a gentle kiss to his head, the little one curling himself up slightly, still looking at his hands. Bucky felt warmth all over, thinking back to a conversation he had with you a little while ago, just before Jordan had came home, one that would stick with him for the rest of his life.
“Are you sure this is what you want” You asked hesitantly, toying with the hem of your pj’s while Bucky tilted your face up to look at him, hearing the anxiety in your voice.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not just me Bucky, it’s both of us” You whispered, wondering if Bucky fully understood what he was signing up for. “I-I don’t want you to ever feel like-like he isn’t yours. I know he’s not and I know you care about him but I’m scared you’ll want us now and then later you won’t-” Bucky softly pressed his finger to your lips, silencing you, not willing to hear another word.
“Where is this coming from” He held you closer while you nervously chewed your lip.
“I’m a single mom. My job isn’t the most attractive. I’m not the first person people line up to date. I didn’t do any of this for so long because I’m terrified anyone that comes into my life will leave and I can’t do that to Jordan-”
“That’s my baby now too” His hands held your cheeks firmly, each of his words coming straight from his soul. “I want to be there for him sweetheart, if you’d let me. If you ever want me out, I won’t .Just say the word, I’m here”
“It’ll be a lot Bucky”
“What haven’t I seen yet, baby” Bucky shrugged while you began to list reasons.
“Sometimes he’s moody”
“So is his mommy-OW”
“Sometimes he can have a temper-Don’t you dare say it”
“Occasional picky eater”
“He’s still learning how to multiply”
“He’ll be a teenager in a few years”
“He’ll want to drive the SUV”
“He’ll want to try the spicy apply juice”
“He thinks your a hero”
“You’ll be there?”
“I’ll be there”
“S’that what you want?” Bucky decided to ask Jordan one more time, giving your baby the choice to take it back if it wasn’t something he was sure about but your son eagerly nodded, his face splitting into a grin. He leapt off the sofa sprinting off down the hall, his voice echoing through the mansion.
“MOMMY, DADDY SAID I COULD CALL HIM DAD. UNCLE STEVE, OUR PLAN WORKED”
-
“You went from trying to stick him in prison to life to being stuck with him for life, how the turn tables”
You groaned, doing a terrible job and hiding the smile that crept on your face, your partner waving to the black SUV that was parked outside, waiting for you while you packed your things for the end of the day.
“Just to be clear, we’re no longer trying to arrest him right? You looooove him” You threw a pad of sticky notes at your partners head while she cackled, green eyes twinkling.
“Shut up, Romanoff”
“Set me up with his cute best friend, that blonde cutie sitting in the front seat” She cocked an eyebrow while you snorted, nodding to your boss as he walked by your desk.
“Took you long enough” Your boss playfully rolled his eyes, sending you a wink before making his way to his office. You smiled at the pretty blue eyes that watched you as you walked over, holding the door open and closing it for you, lips all over your face as soon as the locks clicked shut.
“Have a good day at work, officer?” He chuckled, pulling you to his lap, nuzzling into you while you sighed contently, tossing your gun and badge aside, melting into Bucky’s arms. You giggled at the glitter that was dusted into his hair after he spent the previous night helping Jordan with a school project, ruffling your hands through his soft locks, pulling him down for a long kiss. “Let’s go home”
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