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#i am obsessed with them actually i can't believe i let so much time pass without drawing them
mdverse · 5 months
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long time no furtana my beloved <3
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prongsiepotter · 1 month
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down bad | j. potter
summary: you're so in love with james potter but he's a little too good at giving you mixed signals that it might actually ruin you
pairing: james potter x reader
warnings: angst, a little fluff if u squint, and so much longing & yearning. omg so much of it
a/n: i am unfortunately completely obsessed with taylor swift's new album, so everything i'll write in the near future will be based on one of the ttpd songs (yey!) & this one's based on 'down bad.' feel free to send requests if u want pick the next song for me x
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"So he just said no?" Mary all but hisses. Marlene shushes her, glancing around the classroom before leaning down from where she's sitting on your desk.
"Are you sure it didn't mean something else?" She rests her hand on yours. "Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. He wouldn't…he just wouldn't, right?" You smile weakly at her, then shake your head. She squeezes your hand.
"The note was pretty clear," you say with a soft sigh. The sentence rolls off your tongue with unhidden bitterness. "Sorry, can't. Need to catch up on some assignments."
You would show it to them, so they could see for themselves and maybe divert their sympathetic gazes from you. But you had set it on fire right after reading it, just like the other two notes friendly rejecting you. You still aren't sure why you did it. After all, you did just tell Mary and Marlene that you're fine. At least you will be. You should not be this devastated over some guy.
Even if that guy is James Potter.
James who is now strolling into the room with his mates, looking as invincible and full of life as he always has and always will.
Quickly, you force a smile at the girls and pull out the chair next to you. Marlene, bless her, gets the hint and lightly shoves Mary's shoulder to have her take the seat. You're going through your book bag, pulling out your inkwell when four bodies make their way past your desk.
"Ladies," comes Sirius cheerfully loud voice as he bows at the waist because, of course, he does. Peter and Remus aren't as dramatic with their greetings. The latter, however, does take the time to slow down in front of you until you look up and return his kind smile. Belatedly, you realise perhaps you shouldn't have done that. You lock eyes with James, who's right behind him.
He sends you an easy smile and a wink. Like he's letting you in on another one of his rare secrets. You're not sure if you're smiling back, but it's almost a given that you are.
He takes his seat behind you, laughing blithely at a joke Pete just told, and it's all so painfully charming that you want to die. You fear he will always make you feel like this. Like you're somehow the chosen one. It's such a sickening feeling, you can't help but whip around and look at Mary, pleadingly. Though, you're not sure what you're pleading for anymore.
She shoots you another unbearably sympathetic smile, looking like she's close to cooing at you. You sigh, hiding your face in the crook of your arms.
You can't help but think how easy it would be to just cry right here. It's embarrassing to admit, but you've done it plenty of times over the weekend after you had seen James out at Hogsmeade with the others. Miserably, you had realised that he was, in fact, not too busy working on his assignments. He just didn't want to spend time with you.
You almost let out a sob.
A hand rubs your back and you know it can only be Mary, but you let yourself believe that it's the universe consoling you, as if to say there, there because there's nothing fair about this and she knows it, but there's nothing she can do it about now, can she?
History of Magic passes in a blur. Before you know it, you're in the library, pouring all of yourself into an essay that you normally couldn't have cared less for. But you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep yourself busy. You know your thoughts will stray the moment you're lying quietly in bed anyway, awaiting another sleepless night.
You finish the sentence and look up, satisfied with your work. Apparently it's been a while since you've torn your gaze away from the parchment before you, seeing how stiff your neck is. You knead at the uncomfortable knot in your shoulder while looking around the library. It's relatively full today with every other seat being taken.
Which makes it all the more irritating when your gaze snatches on a figure sat at the other table right across from you. He's not even looking up, head bent over a book, but you would recognise that mop of unruly dark curls anywhere. James must've seen you when he came in, but that might have just been your hopeful self speaking.
Begrudgingly, you resume your writing and it takes everything in you not to look up every few minutes. To glimpse the slight furrow in his brows and the small pout of his lips as he's carefully reading every paragraph. You know he's likely looking for something to prepare for a prank. Normally, you would simply go over and ask him what he's up to. You know he'd happily tell you. But you're glad to have at least a little bit of pride and dignity left that keeps you rooted in your spot.
Seemingly not enough though since all you can think about is that there's no way he doesn't know that you're right there. It really does make you want to bang your head against the table. Maybe that would finally catch James' attention.
Pathetically, you glance at him only to notice that he's packing his things to leave. The tip of your feather goes back to the parchment so fast, it almost pierces it. You haven't got a clue what you're writing, too busy tracking James' movements from the corner of your eyes.
You watch him stand up, walking down the length of his table towards the door down the hall on his right. Then he stops. You hold your breath. James seemingly hesitates before fixing the strap of his bag on his shoulder. He turns left and walks towards you. You're staring at your hand as it writes illegible words, completely out of your control, when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
"Hey," James whispers when you look up, giving you a familiar grin and small wave. It's an innocent gesture, sweet, but there's almost something hostile about this encounter. Like you have no choice but to let him occupy every single one of your senses. You stare up at him, a matching smile sweeping over your lips before you can think better of it.
That's when you notice the scarf he's wearing and its frizzled ends. It's yours. You know it is.
Did he not give it back to you after one of your nights out together on the stands? After you had flown on your brooms, so close to the sea of stars that you could've dipped your fingertips in them? You could almost hear the echoes of your windblown laughters as the memory pushes itself into the foreground of your mind.
James is sitting still, rosy-cheeked, watching you with curious eyes while you babble on about the Leo constellation. He had just told you that you could do whatever you want to him—another quite maddening thing to casually say to someone—and now he's apparently keen on staying true to his word by letting you wrap your scarf around his neck.
It took some convincing before he'd finally accepted it from you. You promised that you wouldn't be cold with your high collared sweater, but James only gave in when you had accepted his wool hat in exchange.
He had carefully put it on you, smoothing down your hair and pulling out some loose strands to frame your face, mumbling something about how much lovelier his hat looked on you than on him. You told yourself that he surely must've known what it did to you when his knuckles brushed your cheeks. Right? Surely.
James pokes your side, chuckling, as if he sensed that your mind was drifting elsewhere. He cracks another joke, saying that if you were the one to teach him Astronomy, he might actually pay attention in class. He says it like it's a deal and you feel inclined to do whatever it takes to hold up your side of the bargain.
You laugh helplessly, feeling drunk on a little bit of everything; the stars above, James' gentle laughter, the familiar smell of broom wax and crisp winter air. This must be cosmic love, you think to yourself. Your breath clouds in front of you, becoming one with his. All the while, you're too aware of James' shoulder bumping into you, his leg pressed against yours. There's no one out here but you two.
You have all the room in the world, but James chose to sit this close to you. Probably close enough for him to hear your heart pounding. Did he do it for a reason? You'd love to know.
"You don't need me to pay attention in Astronomy," you find yourself saying in response, something daring laced in the drawl of your voice. His eyes flash, bright and a bit wild. It's the same look he gets after you challenge him to a race on your brooms. His grin grows wide, carefree, and oh so lovely.
"Please." His face comes impossibly closer and you lean in without another thought, eager to take whatever it is James will give you. You feel his breath on your lips.
"I will always need you, Y/N."
Somehow he makes it sound genuine.
Then he winks and leaves you a horrid, forsaken mess. Somehow he makes that feel like a nice gesture too.
Incredulously, you stare at him as he leans back, elbows resting on the seats behind him. James Potter, you think weakly, what are you doing to me? Not for the first time you ponder what you would do if you can't have him. You almost double over from the striking pain in your chest.
Then he points out another constellation and you nearly forget all about yourself. He's good at that. Never ceasing to show you that the world is bigger than the two of you. Making you forget and remember that you might be in love. Because what if you were in love?
James cups the back of his neck, then points towards the door of the library, almost shyly letting you know that he's leaving. You nod slowly, still dazed. A small smile crosses his lips before you watch him round the corner, his back disappearing from your sight.
You blink, letting out a ragged breath. You feel like you got the wind knocked out of you. Like you just lost your twin. Someone who knows you like no one else ever will. Someone who might just be your better half. Someone who sometimes makes you feel like they want nothing to do with you.
It's ridiculous, you think bleakly to yourself, you're so down bad.
And James Potter makes it feel like a curse and a blessing.
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thefallenangelsgang · 2 months
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Fuck it, I'm throwing my hat on the ring about the Emil announcing Nate from Fallout 4 is the bystander Soldier in the Fallout 1 opener.
First and foremost, it was a stupid thing to say. As he backtracks to later, the conceit of Fallout's protags is they are supposed to be anyone (and that issue is precisely why some people hate the extensive prewar character background given to you in Fallout 4). For the lead writer to pull a JK Rowling (why would you do that? None of those went over well) is such a major marketing misstep that it wouldn't surprise me if Emil gets reprimanded for it before we even get into the implication of what he said.
Emil your voice is as good as God when it comes to the canon. You can't just say shit like that and expect it to go well. Especially considering the implications.
Speaking of the implications, I'm not mad about Nate being a war criminal. It's a coloring I actually would welcome if the games discussed concepts like Capitalism, Racism, and War in any meaningful way anymore. And if Emil also didn't say this.
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Fallout's canon is rooted in reality. That is part of its whole thing. It's fun to do goofy shit like becoming the Silver Shroud and having a make believe superhero fight with the Mechanist or write a woman obsessed with Nuka Cola so much she traverses two games to basically kidnap the CEO's cryogenically preserved head so she can talk to him for all eternity, but the setting is very much rooted in reality.
You aren't dealing with fictional countries, you aren't dealing with fictional races, you aren't dealing with fictional hypotheticals. That is The Elder Scrolls job. You are dealing with actual countries, actual racism, actual history, and actual fucking politics. You have to be mindful of what you are doing and saying. You can't just do things because it's an interesting plot device without first thinking about the implications.
Fallout's world is a heightened version of our own, a path we seem to stumble towards with ever passing year unless we do something about it. It fucking sucks. I'm sure writing it feels like prophesizing the future and eats your soul a bit. It would mine. But that doesn't mean Fallout can just take a sharp left in terms of story and reality and get away with it.
To have Nate be the bystander Soldier and then meet him when he has a very good thing going for him (an expensive house during an inflation crisis, a robot butler, he gets into a vault for free for fucks sake) very much speaks to life rewarding him for his crimes. There is no hatred in his words when he looks at the flag of the country that made him kill innocents. His speech is speaks of remorse for leaving his family and the cycle of war, it does not speak of the horrors. Of watching you comrades bleed out in the Anchorage snow. Of the scream of shells overhead. Of the fear in civilians eyes as your buddy puts a bullet between them.
You all have to see how it looks like the man is fine with what he had to do during the war, right?
Not interacting with these concepts enough paints a picture of apathy and acceptance. In this day and age where being keeping the government honest and responsible for their actions is so important, that isn't going to slide without it being EXTREMELY purposeful, which it is not. It's tone deaf and lazy.
I respect a lot of what Emil has done in the past, but I am not above keeping him culpable when he has something so delicate in his hands. I hope this situation is what he needed to get his head on straight, or is the light bulb moment where he realizes he needs to pass the torch onwards. There is no shame in subject matter becoming too much as time goes on. There is shame in letting a previously critical series become the very thing it was criticizing.
He is going to keep getting dragged until he realizes that or he manages to convince the fans to be complicit in the degradation of setting. In doing so he is going to lose Bethesda most of its biggest fans who well and truly love the series and what it stands for.
But that's just my take, and I'm just a kid who studies polisci and history and can't shield myself from the inherent horror of nuclear war no matter how much I try.
War really never changes
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bonobonoyaatheart · 11 months
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Wasn't supposed to - Han Jisung
Summary: You are Jisung's bodyguard but soon you become much more than that. This isn't right, is it? But love will always find its way.
Genre : Fluff, angst.
Pairing: Idol Jisung x female older Reader
Word count : 3405
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You were a huge fan of K-pop, and Jisung happened to be your favorite idol. Imagine your excitement when you found yourself assigned as his bodyguard during a bustling airport event. Your heart raced with a mix of nerves and anticipation as you stepped into this unexpected role, knowing that you would have the chance to be up close and personal with the star you admired.
The airport was abuzz with excitement as fans eagerly awaited Jisung's arrival. Among the crowd, you stood at your designated spot, scanning the area for any potential threats or disturbances. You couldn't believe that you were actually going to be protecting Jisung, the person whose music had brought you so much joy.
As the black-tinted van pulled up, cheers erupted from the crowd. Jisung emerged, exuding charm and charisma, and the atmosphere became electric with excitement. Fans screamed and waved their banners, desperate to catch a glimpse of their beloved idol.
You moved alongside Jisung, trying to keep a cool and watchful eye on the surroundings, despite the overwhelming surge of emotions within you. He looked even more captivating up close, with his infectious smile and confident demeanor.
Amidst the chaos, you noticed a figure in the crowd behaving erratically. It was clear that this person had ill intentions towards Jisung. Without hesitating, you positioned yourself between them, determined to keep Jisung safe from harm.
"Stay back! Get away from him!" you exclaimed, your voice firm and resolute.
The stalker's eyes burned with a mix of anger and obsession as she shouted back, "He belongs to me! I won't let anyone else have him!"
You stood your ground, refusing to let their words shake you. Your focus was solely on protecting Jisung, someone who had become more than just an idol to you.
"I won't let you hurt him. Stay away!" you declared, your voice filled with determination. The stalker, fueled by their delusion, continued to approach, disregarding your warnings. Your heart pounded in your chest, but you pushed aside any fear or doubt. You were committed to safeguarding Jisung, no matter the cost.
Summoning every ounce of strength, you managed to create a barrier between Jisung and the stalker, allowing his security team to intervene and handle the situation. Despite the chaos, you ended up with a minor injury, a small sacrifice to ensure Jisung's safety.
Jisung, his face a mix of concern and gratitude, hurried to your side. "Are you okay? You took a hit back there," he asked, genuine concern in his eyes. You winced slightly, trying to downplay the pain. "I'm fine, Jisung. Don't worry about me. I'm just glad you're safe." His expression softened, and he reached out to gently touch your arm. "Thank you. You really protected me. I can't express how grateful I am."
In that moment, as your eyes met, an unspoken understanding passed between you. You had gone from being a fan to being someone who would stand up for Jisung, someone who deeply cared for his well-being. Little did you know that this unexpected encounter would be the beginning of a remarkable journey, one that would bring you even closer to Jisung and forge an unbreakable bond between you.
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Weeks had passed since the incident at the airport, and your role as Jisung's bodyguard continued. The bond between you and Jisung had deepened during this time, as you became not only his protector but also a trusted confidante.
One day, you received a call from Jisung's manager, informing you that Jisung was feeling down after a particularly challenging recording session. Without hesitation, you made your way to the studio where Jisung and his group, Stray Kids, were working on their latest track.
As you entered the recording studio, the vibrant energy that usually permeated the space seemed dimmed. Jisung sat on a couch, his head bowed, and the weight of his emotions was palpable. Your heart ached at the sight of him, wanting nothing more than to provide comfort.
You approached him gently, taking a seat beside him. "Hey, Jisung. What's going on? You seem really down."
Jisung sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's just... Bangchan hyung scolded me during the recording. He said I wasn't giving my best and that I was holding the group back. I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough."
Your heart went out to him, and you reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Jisung, I know how much you care about your craft. It's normal to feel discouraged when things don't go as planned, but remember that one setback doesn't define your talent or worth. You have the potential to grow and improve."
He looked up, his eyes filled with vulnerability. "But what if I can't? What if I never meet the expectations?"
You shook your head, a comforting smile on your face. "Jisung, you've come so far, and you've achieved incredible things already. Don't let self-doubt overshadow your accomplishments. Everyone has their own journey and their own pace. Trust in your abilities and have faith in yourself. And remember, even in the face of criticism, your fans and those who truly care about you will always be there to support you."
His gaze met yours, gratitude shining in his eyes. "Thank you, noona. Your words mean a lot to me. It's comforting to have someone who understands and believes in me."
You squeezed his shoulder gently. "You're not alone, Jisung. I'll always be here for you, supporting you through the ups and downs. Lean on me whenever you need someone to talk to or seek guidance from. You have a bright future ahead, and I have no doubt that you'll overcome any challenges that come your way."
A small smile played on his lips as he nodded, a renewed determination in his eyes. "I'll do my best, noona. With your support, I know I can push through."
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The days flew by in a whirlwind of events and performances. Your bond with Jisung continued to deepen, and the line between your roles as his bodyguard and confidante blurred further. As Jisung's birthday approached, you couldn't help but want to do something special for him, despite the growing realization of your own feelings.
On the morning of his birthday, you decided to take the day off from your duties as Jisung's bodyguard. It was a risk, but you wanted to make this day memorable for him. You had planned a surprise outing, a day filled with fun and laughter, just the two of you.
As the sun painted the sky with shades of gold, you met Jisung outside his dorm. He looked surprised to see you there, a curious smile tugging at his lips. "Noona, what are you doing here? Isn't today your day off?"
You returned his smile, excitement bubbling within you. "I wanted to spend the day with you, Jisung. It's your birthday, after all. Consider me your personal tour guide for the day."
His eyes sparkled with a mix of surprise and delight. "You didn't have to do this, noona. I'm already happy to spend time with you."
You chuckled softly. "Well, get ready for a day filled with surprises. Our first stop is a place I know you'll love."
You hailed a taxi, and soon the two of you arrived at a bustling shopping district. Jisung looked around, his eyes widening with anticipation. "Noona, are we going shopping? I love shopping!"
You nodded, a mischievous twinkle in your eye. "Yes, Jisung. Today, you're not just an idol, but a regular person enjoying his special day. Let's indulge in some retail therapy."
Hand in hand, you wandered through the vibrant streets, exploring stores, and trying on different outfits. Jisung's laughter filled the air as he jokingly posed in front of a mirror, trying out various styles. The worries and responsibilities of his idol life seemed to fade away, replaced by pure joy and freedom.
As the day progressed, you found yourselves in a cozy café, sipping hot beverages and sharing stories. Jisung's eyes shone with happiness, and you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter at the sight.
The day continued with more adventures—a visit to an amusement park, riding roller coasters and screaming with laughter, and enjoying delicious treats at a local food festival. Each moment was filled with pure happiness, and you cherished the opportunity to see Jisung so carefree.
As the day came to an end, you walked Jisung back to his dorm, both of you wearing tired but content smiles. "Noona, thank you so much for today," Jisung said, his voice filled with gratitude. "This has been the best birthday I've ever had. I can't express how much I appreciate your efforts."
You smiled warmly at him, a mix of emotions swirling within you. "Jisung, it was my pleasure. Seeing you happy and enjoying yourself makes everything worthwhile."
He reached out and squeezed your hand gently. "Noona, you mean a lot to me. Your presence in my life brings me comfort and strength. I don't know what I would do without you."
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, but you couldn't bring yourself to say anything that might complicate your relationship or put him in an awkward position. So you simply replied, "Jisung, I'm grateful to be a part of your life. We've shared so many meaningful moments, and I treasure our friendship."
He nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Let's continue to support each other, noona. I know I can always count on you."
With a final goodbye, you watched him enter the dorm, a mixture of happiness and longing swirling within you. Deep down, you knew that your feelings for Jisung went beyond friendship, but for now, you chose to keep them hidden, cherishing the bond you shared without risking its fragile balance.
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After a long day of work, you found yourself sitting with Jisung in the cozy corner of a nearby café. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as the two of you shared a table, chatting and laughing together. It was a moment of genuine connection, a bond that went beyond the roles of a bodyguard and an idol.
Jisung's eyes sparkled with joy as he recounted funny moments from his recent practice sessions, making you laugh with his lively storytelling. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and for a brief moment, the weight of unspoken feelings dissipated, replaced by a shared sense of camaraderie.
As the evening drew near, Jisung checked the time and sighed. "I have to head to the studio for practice, noona. But spending this time with you was amazing. Thank you for being here."
You smiled warmly, your heart feeling both light and heavy at the same time. "It was my pleasure, Jisung. You know I'll always support you, no matter what. Now go and rock your practice!"
Jisung stood up from the table, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I'll see you soon, noona. Take care, and remember how much I appreciate you."
With a final wave, he left the café, his departure leaving a void in the space you had shared. But you knew that the time had come to make a difficult decision—one that would shape the course of your relationship with Jisung.
Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the studio where Jisung and the rest of his group were practicing. Inside, you found his manager, a familiar face who greeted you with a nod of recognition.
"Hello," you greeted, your voice filled with a mix of determination and vulnerability. "I need to speak with you about something important regarding my role as Jisung's bodyguard."
The manager's brows furrowed, concern etching their face. "Of course, what's the matter?"
You hesitated for a moment, choosing your words carefully. "I've made a decision. I cannot continue as Jisung's bodyguard. It's for personal reasons, but I don't want the exact reason to be disclosed to him. Please inform Jisung that I have quit my job, but don't reveal the true nature of my departure."
The manager nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I understand your request. I'll let Jisung know that you won't be his bodyguard anymore, without divulging the details. But are you sure about this? Jisung will be saddened by your absence."
A mix of sadness and resolve washed over you as you nodded. "I'm certain. It's for the best—for both Jisung and myself. Please convey my gratitude to him and assure him that my decision is not a reflection of his actions or his worth."
With a heavy sigh, you turned to leave the studio, your heart filled with both longing and a sense of purpose. The path ahead might be uncertain, but you knew that taking this step was necessary for your own emotional well-being and the preservation of your friendship with Jisung.
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Almost a week had passed and the absence of your presence as Jisung's bodyguard grew into an unbearable weight on both your hearts. Jisung found himself consumed by a relentless ache, his thoughts constantly haunted by your absence. He questioned every interaction, every word exchanged between you, desperately trying to understand where things went wrong.
On a quiet evening, the weight of his emotions became too heavy to bear. Jisung found himself at the studio, his footsteps echoing in the empty halls. The once vibrant space felt cold and lifeless without your laughter, your presence filling every corner.
Slumping down onto a worn-out couch, Jisung couldn't help but replay the memories of your time together, each one a painful reminder of what he had lost. He held onto the last conversation you had, your smiling faces etched into his mind, but the ache in his heart only deepened.
"Why did you leave?" Jisung whispered, his voice filled with anguish. "What did I do wrong?"
Lost in a sea of uncertainty, he wondered if he had missed something, some sign of your growing feelings. Was there a moment he failed to recognize, a chance to bridge the gap between friendship and something more?
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a familiar melody, his phone buzzing with a text message. It was his manager, delivering the news that shattered his already fragile heart. "You need to know… she quit. She's no longer your bodyguard. I am extremely sorry for not telling you earlier, I forgot and I am deeply sorry for that."
Shock washed over him, his mind struggling to process the abruptness of your departure. Frustration welled up within him, the ache transforming into a tidal wave of emotions. How could you leave without a proper explanation? How could you abandon him when he needed you the most?
Jisung's hands trembled as he typed a response, his words a mix of confusion and desperation. "Why? Why did she leave without telling me? What happened?"
His manager's reply came swiftly, filled with compassion and a touch of hesitation. "She had personal reasons, Jisung. She asked me not to reveal the exact details. I'm sorry."
The room spun around Jisung as he processed the information, his heart sinking deeper into despair. He couldn't comprehend how the one person he trusted above all else could leave him in such darkness.
A profound sense of loss washed over him, tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn't bear the thought of never seeing your smile again, never feeling the warmth of your presence by his side. The pain of your absence cut through him like a knife, leaving him vulnerable and raw.
As the weight of your absence settled upon him, Jisung made a solemn promise to himself. He would find you, no matter the cost. He needed answers, closure, and perhaps, a glimmer of hope that the bond you once shared could be salvaged.
With determination etched into his features, Jisung stood up, wiping away his tears. He would face you, demand a proper explanation, and let his heart guide him through the storm of emotions. The journey ahead was uncertain, but he knew one thing for certain—he couldn't let you slip away without a fight.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Jisung stood outside your door, his heart heavy with a mix of hurt, anger, and confusion. His usual warm demeanor was replaced by a stern expression, his features hardened by the weight of his emotions. He couldn't fathom why you had left without a proper explanation, without a chance to understand the reasons behind your departure.
As he knocked on the door, his frustration simmered beneath the surface, threatening to spill over. When you opened the door, his gaze met yours, icy and distant. He stepped inside without a word, his body tense with the weight of unspoken questions.
You closed the door behind him, your heart pounding in your chest. The atmosphere in the room turned icy, the tension between you palpable. It was a stark contrast to the warm and comfortable space you once shared.
"Jisung," you began, your voice trembling, "I understand you're upset. But please, let me explain."
His eyes bore into yours, his voice laced with restrained anger. "Explain? Do you think an explanation can justify leaving without a word? Without giving me a chance to understand?"
Your breath hitched, the pain in his words piercing your heart. "Jisung, I… I thought it was the best decision for both of us. I couldn't bear the weight of my feelings for you while being so close."
He scoffed, a bitter edge to his voice. "Feelings? Is that what this is about? You think you can just walk away without telling me, without giving me a chance to figure out what I feel?"
Tears welled up in your eyes, your voice barely a whisper. "I didn't want to burden you with my feelings, Jisung. I thought it would be better for both of us."
His frustration melted into a mix of confusion and hurt, his voice softening slightly. "Noona, I thought we were in this together. I thought we could face anything, even if it meant risking our hearts. Why didn't you give me the choice?"
You took a step closer, reaching out to touch his arm, your voice filled with remorse. "Jisung, I never meant to hurt you. I believed I was doing what was best for both of us. I couldn't bear the thought of being so close to you and not being able to express my true feelings."
He pulled away, his gaze distant and pained. "So, what? You decided what was best for us without even giving me a chance to decide for myself? Without even discussing it with me?"
Your voice cracked, tears streaming down your face. "I didn't know how to tell you, Jisung. I was afraid of losing our friendship, of creating a rift between us. I didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position."
His eyes softened with understanding, but the pain still lingered. "I understand your intentions, but it hurt to see you go without any explanation. I felt lost, confused, and frustrated. I thought I had done something wrong."
"I'm sorry Jisung", you whispered, your voice quivering.
A heavy silence hung in the air as the weight of the unspoken words settled between you. Jisung's anger softened, replaced by a mix of hurt and longing. He took a step closer, his voice filled with vulnerability. "Noona, I can't deny the pain your absence has caused me. But underneath it all, I still care about you deeply, I love you noona... "
You looked into his eyes, the pain mirrored in your own. "Jisung, I care about you too, more than words can express. But I thought it was better to leave and spare us both from the pain of unrequited love."
He sighed, his voice a mixture of sadness and determination. "Noona, I understand your fears, your reasons. But please, don't let this be the end for us. Let's find a way to navigate this together, to face the challenges that come our way."
Your heart ached, torn between the love you felt and the fear of what it might cost. You reached out, gently cupping his face, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Jisung, I don't want to lose you. I love you, but I'm afraid of the consequences."
He leaned into your touch, his voice filled with conviction. "Noona, love conquers all. We'll face the world together. I'm willing to fight for our love, no matter the obstacles. Let's not let fear hold us back."
You stared into his eyes, feeling the strength and sincerity in his words. In that moment, you realized that love was worth the risk, worth defying the norms and expectations. "Jisung, I love you more than words can express. I'm willing to take that leap of faith with you."
He smiled, a smile that reached his eyes, and pulled you into a passionate embrace. "Noona, you've made me the happiest man in the world. I promise to cherish and love you every single day."
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Jisung looked deeply into your eyes, his expression a mixture of longing and vulnerability. The air crackled with anticipation as a tender silence enveloped the room. Softly, he reached out to brush a stray tear from your cheek, his touch gentle and soothing.
With a small, understanding smile, he whispered, "Noona, you mean the world to me. May I…"
His voice trailed off, but the unspoken question hung in the air. You nodded, giving him permission to express the depth of his emotions. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as he closed the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a tender, soft kiss.
The kiss was not a grand gesture but a gentle exploration of each other's feelings. It was filled with the sweetness of two hearts intertwining, both of you savoring the intimacy of the moment. His lips were warm against yours, and the softness of the kiss ignited a warmth deep within your heart.
As the kiss deepened, the overwhelming surge of emotions welled up inside you. Tears of guilt mingled with tears of joy, as you realized that you couldn't deny the love you felt for him any longer. You clung to him, feeling a mixture of relief and sadness.
Breaking the kiss, you whispered with a quivering voice, "Jisung, I can't help but feel guilty for falling in love with you. I wasn't supposed to fall for you. I was your bodyguard, and I should have maintained my professionalism."
He gently wiped away your tears, his eyes filled with understanding. "Noona, there's no need to feel guilty. Love is unpredictable, and it knows no boundaries. It's okay to feel what we feel."
You looked into his eyes, searching for any signs of regret, but all you found was love and sincerity. "Jisung, I miss you terribly when we're apart. But I'm also afraid of the challenges our love might bring."
He cupped your face in his hands, his touch grounding you. "Noona, I miss you too, every second that we're apart. But I believe in us, in the strength of our love to overcome anything that comes our way. Let's face those challenges together."
His words touched your heart, and you felt a glimmer of hope. In that moment, you realized that love was worth taking risks for, worth the vulnerability and the uncertainty. You leaned in, kissing him again, pouring all your emotions into that kiss.
As your lips lingered against his, you knew that this was just the beginning of a beautiful journey together, where both the tears and the laughter would be shared. Embracing love meant embracing all the emotions that came with it, and you were ready to face it all with Jisung by your side.
A/N: Reblog and share if you like, and let me know what you think about this!
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thatgirl4815 · 8 months
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hi elle! first of all, i loooove your analyses and i've been checking your blog religiously after ep7 so i can calm down about the shitshow that is raymew...
now that i'm calmer, i have a few thoughts as a film major with a screenwriting obsession: according to one of the most well-known and accepted versions of the three-act narrative structure, we can say that the thatcar.mp3 blowing up was the halfway point of the story (ep6 of 12) where shit starts hitting the fan for real.
and the fallout of it is raymew: the false victory/defeat that usually occurs before we build up the actual climax. which will probably blow up in 11 because this is a thai bl and spill into 12 bc of what first said abt khao's intense scene in 12. and also you can't just have a whole-hour ep as an epilogue, especially in a series as messy (affectionate) as this.
i'm kinda done theorizing plotlines bc raymew fucking blindsided me, i didn't think they would actually go there. but looking at it as a false defeat (for sand and top) and a false victory (for ray and mew) it makes such perfect sense that as upset as i still am, i'm also kinda amazed at how brilliant the writers were for this...
so i have no idea what the actual climax is going to be, or how we'll get there, but i'm pretty confident about a sandray endgame from a narrative standpoint. i don't think that endgame is gonna be particularly healthy or happy, but i think it's gonna be pretty hopeful, if still somewhat ambigious.
(also on that note: i kinda love that jojo et al. are using the fixed pair concept to move the narrative along without spending a lot of time establishing the ships in the series (as angry as i am about the lack of sandray scenes lately...). we know that forcebook (topmew) and firstkhao (sandray) are likely ending up together, so they can introduce as much mess as they can into the story without fucking them up for good. i think it's a pretty genius way of subverting but also honoring the genre tropes we've come to know and love.
anyway, i'm done now klsdmgk keep up the brilliant work!!!
Hi Fen! That is so sweet of you! Honestly made my day. I’m trying to stay hopeful, mostly because so many people in the fandom seem to be in a very hopeless state right now over SandRay, but I still firmly believe it can work out between them. The way forward is rocky, but there is a way forward nonetheless.
I know Thai BLs have a tendency to let shit hit the fan in Ep11 and then clean it up in Ep12, and while I also fully expect that to be the case here, I hope that doesn’t mean they’ll rush through the resolution. I mean I would take an hour-long episode of SandRay: Adventures in Chiang Mai, but realistically I don’t think we’ll see much future stuff.
I’m thinking the climax for each couple will be much more personal—as in, within the pairs themselves rather than outside of them. So for SandRay this could be Ray’s addiction and commitment issues, etc. (It could have to do with Sand’s ex, but I think the bulk of that conflict will pass before Ep12). For TopMew, this could be about trust, with Top possibly making some grand gesture to win Mew back over, or Top demonstrating his love for Mew by saving Mew from himself (similar to next ep?)? For BostonNick, it could be Boston realizing his feelings for Nick and trying to win him back over, only to realize that Nick helped Mew get the sex tapes from Gap? Or that Nick really has moved on. Idk, I’m just brainstorming at this point, because yeah, after RayMew happened, I genuinely have no idea what to expect.
Side note, but I have a hunch Khao’s best scene in Ep12 is some sort of a mental breakdown? Maybe something similar to what we saw in Ep4. It’s got to be highly emotional to compete with the funeral scene in MLC. Maybe it’s Ray confronting his mother’s death again, but this time it’s Sand who pulls him out of his despair? Who knows.
Interesting point about how Jojo is using the established pairs…I really hope it is the case that FK and FB’s pairings make it out alive and all of this RayMew stuff is just for dramatics and will soon pass. That is the one negative to watching shows as they air (aside from the grueling wait between eps): I wish I knew how the couples will turn out so I don’t get my hopes up for nothing.
Also, because I know this is a hard time for all of us, I wanna say that my DMs and Ask box are always open! If we’re going to suffer, at least we can all do it together lol. <3
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bumofthewild · 3 months
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omg your ffxiv journey is so sweet ;____; it's so touching to see other haurchefant fans waaaaah everything in ishgard is so crazy. do you have any thoughts? on his family, ysayle, estinien? aymeric?
awwww ty i feel like all i've really done is tweet "i love haurchefant" or complain abt fantasy racism but i'm happy you think so...! and yess infinite love for haurchefant forever i was not expecting to fall for him like that at all. he is literally perfect.......!!!
im actually obsessed w ishgard im hoping you understand that asking for my thoughts on anything is opening a floodgate but i will try to reel it in! ok! here we go!
ok i love ishgard.... i love its extremely insular and severe and almost monastic atmosphere. i am a hugeee fan of secluded locations as the setting of a story so when i realised hvw was going to be largely about ishgard i was so excited. i also really love plots where characters are in hiding/have to take refuge in a hidden and secretive place??? and then the fact that the place you have to take refuge in is haurchefants family home??? i started writing fanfic immediately i literally felt like i was being spoiled like they wrangled that from my brain i genuinely couldn't believe i could experience so much luxury all at once. of course that's been ruined after doing the vault which i have been genuinely handing terribly but. moving on!
emmanellain is so funny and i think the contrast between him and artoirel (silliness/overconfidence vs seriousness/insecurity) is really interesting, down to where you go with them on their separate missions. really fun way of exploring more of ishgard. i like their dad too he's genuinely sweet which i thought was a nice surprise. it really stuck out to me this one moment where the war worsens and he says you can't stay anymore bc its become so dangerous, bc i just automatically assumed everyone would beg you to stay and help. that really touched me. i feel like hvw somehow passed my convoluted eq test
also learning haurchefant was an illegitimate son in the way you do w artoirel just telling you really stood out to me o__o not bc that kind of thing is an issue but bc of how you learn it idk backstory on the characters kind of throws me off in a good way bc of how linear the game is. idk i cant formulate thoughts on haurchefant rn itd need its own post. some other time..
i don't believe in things like nobility as an actual moral concept, obviously, and fantasy games let alone ishgard really test my patience with it, but i do love it aesthetically. same w christianity. i really like idk arthurian medieval aesthetics. the high houses + their motifs really got me like i specifically love unicorns and roses if hvw was trying to appeal to me directly it knew exactly how. ishgard's politics too i thought that shit was so interesting i'd love to learn more about the rocky relationships btwn the houses. and we loveeeee toppling the church thank you heavensward
there were a lot of times though where i was really frustrated with the dragonsong war and this is my issue with ffxiv in general but the way it treats beast races is extremely disturbing. i pretend i cant read whenever a character on the "good" side talks about "civility" or "reason/sense". and the ishgard lore being ppl directed by their god to inhabit a land only to find that land inhabited by "savages" (the dragons) that they have to kill now bc as "reasonable" beings they have a religious claim to that land...is an insane thing to write about!!! jrpgs are crazy!!!!!! like i genuinely need it to stop but i guess they at least (???) kind of turned things around with hresvelgr and ysayle offering the perspective of the other side and i think they made it an interesting issue enough for the game but lord it is disconcerting. that being said the foundation of ishgard being a total lie (and being described constantly as a sin) is still a lot of fun to me like thank god. and the quirky somewhat found family journey w ysayle, estinien and alphinaud to unearth the truth was one of the best parts of hvw imo. i loved seeing estinien act almost like an older brother to alphinaud, and for estinien and ysayle to constantly be at odds and alphinaud trying to keep things together. i am so fond of that section of the game.. just felt like you were climbing higher and higher into figurative heaven (i love the title heavensward im glad they used it in such fun ways) and seeing stubborn bastards like estinien question what he knew. he was so funny by the way i was not expecting that even though i knew an estinien was a popular char in the game for a while. i also like ysayle a lot like her passion was very compelling, and when she finally talks to hresvelgr the way her goals would be tinged w a sort of self-serving personal feeling at times i found really interesting. all of it was so interesting whenever the plot strayed from ishgard id be like take me back PLEASEEE. idk i like chars who behave like tools (estinien) or become tools by accident (ysayle). i think those two should hang out and bicker and begrudgingly accept each other forever
also i love aymeric like i already loved aymeric from post-arr idk if you play w another dub but his english voice has this softness to it that i find so cute. idk he's kind of delicate to me maybe not what they were going for but i'm into it. the fact that post-arr to me is just watching aymeric and haurchefant be in a wol-loving contest MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACHGHH i love the ishgardians how much they like wol in a place that's notorious for being so cold is so great. i think love is real on earth. and not in the self-insert "i need every char in this game to want me" way i just mean that i like love a lot, and they are not shy about the fact that they love you. its great. also when they revealed aymeric was actually an idealist and that getting jailed as a heretic meant little to him if it could bring about a new ishgard--literal nail in my coffin. i love idealism!! i was really pleasantly surprised that the nobles you come to know decided to care more about bringing in a new age for the region rather than being noble. whether or not that change comes is to be seen ofc.. but considering the brume is a location that exists well. what is with this game and the fantasy cops always being really bad...? like is ffxiv actually down for the cause...? (joke)
ik ishgard has its whole classism thing going on but that seems more like fray's department now which i have yet to dance with.. i mean literally just dissolve the class system...but this post is already very unorganised so. no more. i would pay an infinite amount of money to bring haurchefant back. each time i think about him i slip up and think about his gravestone instead and feel nauseous. great game!
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dangerous-advantage · 10 months
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Number 16? 💜
[link to ask prompts]
16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?
oh man... calling me out, huh? /lh
off the top of my head, including everything from vague ideas to the fully fleshed out ones, to the ones i've actually written stuff for? nine (at least). which may not seem like a lot, but as i am incapable of writing anything short and/or sweet, that is way more than i am capable of handling at the moment, haha.
as for the au, i've talked about this before on here, but i've fleshed it out a little more to a place where i'm happier with it! so, here's my origami ghost au!
credit where credit is due, i got the og idea/sick-ass name from @noodlenoodlenoodlenoodle. (thanks for letting me adopt this au, and play around with it! i swear i'll write that seratello follow-up fic one of these days <3)
the basic premise is this: leo gets put in a coma, and nobody knows why or how. mikey, who was with him when it happened, was found in a similar state, but woke up the next morning with no memories of what happened. everybody keeps hoping that he'll wake up, writing notes and folding them into little origami shapes for him to read through when he recovers. but time progresses, and they begin to lose hope.
when strangely folded origami notes start appearing around the lair, often scrawled with incomprehensible writing, the mad dogz begin to wonder. raph, not wanting to inspire false hope, dismisses the occurrences, encouraging the others to do the same. however, raph has a few suspicions of his own. enlisting the help of cassandra in order to avoid the suspicion of his brothers, they begin following the trail of strange, mangled origami animals and their often nonsense notes. following a series of clues to the gutters and back alleys of new york and the hidden city, they begin to uncover the truth behind what is happening. old grudges start to come to light, and with each secret uncovered, they find themselves beginning to question the very nature of what's been happening, leading them to ask the larger question behind it all: why?
meanwhile, donnie doesn't buy it. things just aren't adding up, and he's frustrated that raph seems so willing to just let something like this go. leo and him have always been close, and he doesn't believe for a second that his brother is beyond hope. he confesses his feelings on the matter to april, who has been having similar thoughts. the two of them decide to start doing a little research of their own on the side, without the knowledge of the others. on a hunch, they head to the mystic library (which they are banned from) and are able to "convince" (blackmail) a newer employee-- the long-suffering usagi yuichi-- to aid them on their quest. thrown into a world of ancient rituals, cursed items, and other "mystic bullshit" (donnie's words), the b team soon finds there's much more to this than they had thought. not to mention, things get dicey when their meddling goes just a bit too far, and somebody gets paranoid. (thank god they have a rabbit bodyguard...)
finally, mikey. mikey, whose been taking this all the hardest, whose brothers have been disappearing more and more often. who can't seem to remember what happened that night, and blames himself more with each passing day. not to mention, due to the effects of the invasion, his hands are too shaky to fold origami "right" (his words.) mikey begins to withdraw, acting like he's fine, while internally, he begins to obsess over what happened that night. his family doesn't seem to notice, being so busy with things they won't tell him about. it seems like it should be easy to slip out, leaving the others unaware, but he didn't count on thing: casey jr, leo's shadow and unspoken "second-in-command." in the spirirt of looking out for him, casey demands he be let in on whatever mikey is planning. mikey isn't happy, but he relents, letting casey in on a secret: he does remember something from that patrol. something that's been keeping him up at night. something that he isn't quite sure he can trust. together, the two of them start looking for the truth behind exactly what happened that night, and more importantly: who is to blame. driven by his growing anger, with casey keeping an eye out for him, he dons the moniker of the 'origami ghost,' venturing into the darkest parts of the city in search of a killer. but to catch a killer, mikey might just have to become one.
(featuring: my raph & cass qp agenda, donnie's horrible realization that feelings are a thing that exists (ew!), and some good old fashioned villan!mikey <3)
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twinhood-2dot0 · 1 year
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Spotify's Top Tracks, Analyzed (To the best of my abilities, that being, programmatically, and not lyrical, because I'm not a songwriter)
Good morning Alex, I’m delivering on the promise I made last week (was that a promise? I think I just stated it, anyways). Yeah there’s nothing much to preface, I’m just gonna go straight to the data.
Audio Features
Spotify’s API provides a few details on tracks, namely in the context of this post, danceability, energy, valence (How “happy” a track is purely based on the music I assume, I don’t think lyrics are factored).  You’ll notice the graphs contain acousticness and instrumentalness, however that data is not accurate, it’s sometimes 0 and sometimes a very low number which does not accurately reflect the track (the features range from 0 to 1).
Songs above 500 Million streams
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So, apparently, top songs are on average pretty danceable and energetic but not overly, and happiness seem to be almost balanced.
Top 50 Songs right now (actually, a few days ago, but the calculation takes time and tends to fail midway sometimes so I am not going through that ordeal again)
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Seems like it’s pretty much the same, except sadness slightly wins out this time, I guess we Gen Zs really are a depressed generation.
Over The Years
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2017 was apparently the best year for music. I would have thought 2013 or 2014, but that’s cuz I’m an EDM gal and all the bops came out in 2013-15.
Decades
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2010s wins by a considerable margin, obviously, but 2020s somehow has more than the 2000s??? I probably shouldn’t be surprised but it’s only been 3 years (yeah, apparently 3 years have passed. Doctor Manhattan probably just decided to delete 3 years like he did with the DCU, I refuse to believe it’s been three years) so you get why I am. 
Keys
Probably less interesting but the most popular keys are, in order, C Major, C# major and minor, and F# minor. I find it kinda funny that the most basic scale is the most common. Also, take this with a grain of salt, Spotify can be inaccurate, I forgot to factor in confidence because I’m no therapist smh Spotify can get their self confidence issues sorted out elsewhere.
Genres
500M+
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This one’s kinda predictable I guess, but do not ask me what trap and post-teen pop is. I know trap is EDM but it’s kinda not my EDM. Also, get this, the most popular country is Canada, by a huge margin. There are 51 Canadian pop artist, while the runner up UK Dance has 18. I didn’t know Canada was so big, off the top of my head I can only name Justin Bieber and The Weeknd. Also, the next region is Toronto rap lmao
Top 50 RN
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Yeah I have no idea what these are.
Mine because I’m self obsessed
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I added a “pop not edm” category because a large amount of the EDM artists I listen to are also pop so pop becomes my top genre :/ My top country is Sweden :P obviously. I can’t for the life of me tell you where the R&B came from. I don’t even know what that genre is (Oh okay I googled and apparently Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston are R&B).
Finally, the Artists
Not the most popular, just the artists with the most tracks in the top 682.
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Nothing too special here sadly, it’s just everyone you’d expect. I’ve never heard a song by Drake but he’s always #1 or #2 on monthly listeners so :P and here’s mine for good measure
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I'm dumb and I forgor to include the words charts, so I'm editing this in now
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"The" is obviously the most common word, most common noun is also obviously, love. I also included two word combinations, and the most common turned out to be "let me", albeit with only 4 appearances. Tying for second are "like you", "can't stop", "what you", "the middle", "save your" "your tears" and "gimme! gimme!" which is because of ABBA's "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man after Midnight), and Save Your Tears appears thrice, one being the original track by The Weekend, and 2 remixes with Ariana Grande which seem to be identical, I'm not brave enough to subject my ears to both of them, but they're both 3:11 minutes so I'm gonna assume they're exactly the same.
You can find my horrendous code and JSON for all the compiled data in this Github repo
Byeeeeee
I thought this was a more interesting topic than it is :P sorry, anyways, see you on thursday, buh-bye - Alia
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resmarted · 15 days
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dear m*rissa,
your band keeps showing up on my algorithm and begging me to look but i never do. i resist it every time with such diligence and determination to respect that boundary with the purest of intentions. today i gave in and clicked on an interview about your tour van and realized it's been nine years already, can that be right? how wild! that whole era. i am so sorry for the unruly obsession and the dramatic lovesick induced mania i caused back then. i think i like to be heartbroken for sport or something. like something is for sure wrong with me. i loved you so wildly, three books of public letters worth! what a crazy person i have been. it doesn't even feel that long ago. i look at you and can't believe how much time has passed or that was even the same life. we are so old now. i hope you are well. i hope you have someone to love you in all the ways you are meant to be and it's none of my goddamn business but man, you deserve it all. something about seeing you and really allowing myself to look for the first time in so long is very jarring and a little re-traumatizing for reasons other than what happened during that time in general. i almost wish to go back. i felt a naive sense of protection from the people in my life at the time who actually wanted me dead so they could continue living freely off money they never let me know i had. it benefited all of them to make me seem as crazy as possible and they loved how insane i allowed myself to be over you especially. what a whirlwind this stupid little life has been. i recently had an episodic crush over someone who reminds me a little of you but i like to think i nipped it in the bud before it got out of hand. can't afford to fall so freely like that anymore. i guess i never really could. everything is so sad and bland now. you were pink and purple in a grayscale sky. i can't listen to your recent album more than once out of curiosity, to preserve my sanity if nothing more (or what little of it i may have left) but i hear your voice and it does still sound like a home i never had. i wonder if i will ever find one. i hope you are well, or at least better than me. i can't imagine you will ever see this but in case you do, what up, girl? i imagine you young and wild and free forever. you are still the most talented little wunderkind i've ever come across. this feels like a yearbook entry. keep being you. class of 04 foreva.
ps. i thought of you when steve albini died and how he told you to knock it off when doing your signature vocal stylings in the studio (the word for it escapes me at the moment) unless i am misremembering this story? what a strange life this has been. i can't bring myself to look at your ig but i'm assuming there's a tribute post to him somewhere on there by now. good luck and be well.
pps. vibrato? i think it's called vibrato. okay love you bye
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thisentertaining · 3 years
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Obsessed with the idea of a Great British Bake Off AU for The Magnus Archives Not the ones where they just have pretty much all of the characters be on the show and have fun Easter eggs like Melanie being great with knife work and Oliver doing Death by Chocolate. I've read those and they are WONDERFUL but imagine:
Season 2/3 Martin Blackwood, fresh from a worm siege and with a boss who alternates between disappearing for no reason, disappearing because he's running from the police, and being a paranoid freak, and with a coworker who is slowly becoming more and more bitter, just showing up being like 'I passed the auditions my life is insane but I'm doing this'
Voiceover: Martin is an archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, a research facility which specializes in the supernatural. Martin: oh yeah, I'm really excited to be here! It uh, the timing works out really well really. A few months ago it would have been a lot harder, I was living in my work basement for a bit and it would have been hard to practice with just a toaster oven and electric kettle, heh. Noel: ...what? ----- Voiceover: For his signature, Martin will be making lavender sandwich cookies, with a honey lemon filling. Martin:I make these for my boss occasionally, he seems to like them and I almost never see him eat, so... Noel: Do you get along with your boss then? Martin: Oh no! He er, he hates me actually, used to think that my baked goods and tea were the only thing that kept me from getting fired. Noel: Used to? Martin: Yeah er, I... Recently found out I actually have really good job security.
---- Martin: So, for my savory pie, I'm going vegetarian. It's going to be a bit different for me, but I got one of the 'meat' statements, er, like where people give statements about like, meat or cannibalism or livestock, yeah, I just finished doing the research for one of those and they always turn me vegetarian for a bit. ----- Matt: So, Martin, for this Technical challenge you have Peach Cobbler a la mode, are you more worried about the cobbler, or the ice cream. Martin: definitely the cobbler. Matt: Really! Martin: Yeah, I absolutely hate peaches. Matt: Now then, what did peaches ever do to you? Martin: well technically the peaches didn't do anything, I was just...trapped in my flat? By this evil supernatural worm lady for- for almost two weeks. By the end of it I had nothing to eat but canned peaches, like every day. Can't smell them now without gagging, going to make the challenge difficult. Matt:... I worry about you Martin. ---- Producer: do you want to call anyone? Martin: er, my mum doesn't always pick up if I call outside of our scheduled times (or during our scheduled time), and Tim recently hasn't been... Great... Well, let me try- *Phone rings* The Archivist: What is it Martin? Is this an emergency? Martin: Oh! I-I wasn't sure you'd pick up, being abroad and all. The Archivist: Yes, well, I just made the discovery that my presence here was completely useless beyond hearing a story about a man with an evil pig and-never mind. What are you calling about? Martin: Oh, I just, er, I won Star Baker? The Archivist: Martin! That's fantastic! Finally some good news. You would not believe the time I'm having here. Really you deserved it, that trifle was gorgeous, the Earl grey pastry cream was inspired. Martin: Er, Jon, how did you know what I baked? I didn't tell anyone that recipe. The Archivist: ...*click* --- Martin: Oh, for my decorated loaf I am actually a bit inspired by one of the statements I recorded recently. I, er, I don't think I'm allowed to say too much information but it was a, uh, a movie about spiders, and I just really like spiders. This isn't going to be a spooky spider though, not like the statement. They're actually really good for the ecosystem you know? Keep the unpleasant bugs out. So, I'm making a nice spider on a web, just nature, no creepy. *under his breath* I hope. ---- Paul: Wow Martin, I am really impressed with the realism here, but I must say I'm curious with your choice. When we asked people to make a to-scale replica of something out of cake, I don't think a tape recorder was on the top of anyone's mind. Martin: oh, it's just something I see lying around all over the place at work. Especially since my boss has been, er, out of office quite a bit recently. Just... Felt familiar I suppose. ---- Voiceover: For his gingerbread showstopper, Martin is doing an ambitious design based on the original design of the Royal Opera House, when it was still known as Covent Garden Theatre. Noel: So, what are your feelings on gingerbread, Martin? Martin: well, to be honest, it used to be a lot more positive. Noel: Oh? Martin: *sighs* It's just, a good friend of mine is a huge fan of Robert Smirke, so I, well I chose this design based on him? Used his favorite flavors in the icing and all. Work has been... Stressful lately so I thought it would be a nice gesture, you know? Might cheer him up a bit. But when I went to talk to him about the Theatre he... Well let's just say we had a row and leave it at that. He isn't happy that I'm spending time here instead of focusing on the crazy stuff at work. Which is rich by the way. He hasn't been in during working hours in weeks, but uh, I'm going to try to keep that negative energy out of my bake. He's still a friend, and maybe when he sees the end result he'll be touched, I don't know. Noel: Martin, your life is a tapestry. Martin: One with fraying edges Im afraid. ----- Martin stands in front of the tent, speaking directly to the camera, face flushed, eyes wet and voice rough. Martin: It's just, just a bit
embarrassing I suppose. I'm pretty sure I'm the first in the history of the show to be in the grand final and not have anyone to invite to the party. Mum isn't... Well she's in a care home, couldn't travel like this even if she was the type to come to something like this. Jon isn't even in the country right now, off in America doing who knows what anymore. Tim is... After what he said a while back about me being here being a 'pointless waste of time when eldrich-' er I mean I just didn't want to bring it up with him after our last fight. And i barely know my other coworkers, and from what I do know they don't like me much. Did you know one of them used the phrase 'Not Cool' to segue talking about me? And it was recorded! I just... Yeah, bit pathetic I know, that my coworkers are the only ones I could thing to even consider inviting but... That's me I suppose. I almost invited one of the institutes donor, actually, just so I would look so pathetic. I don't even know Peter, just had the one conversation and he honestly creeped me out a bit? But it was the first pleasant conversation I'd had at work in a while so I almost... But I chickened out, well obviously. It's probably for the best. Now, I just need to shake this off or something, can't let it taint the bake just because I'm a bit lonely. Voiceover: Despite the weather report, it is unseasonably chilly in the tent today, which could have an impact on the rise of the bread that they are being asked to bake in the showcase. ---- The scene is bright and filled with exciting colors, the magnificent Showstoppers nothing but crumbs as people settled down at the party. There is a crowd around the winner, who has let to let go of the coveted cake stand. Other than that, families and groups of friends cluster around picnic blankets chatting. Martin stands separate, his technical having burnt and his showstopper decorations falling short of the standard. He'd lost. And unlike the other competitor in the grand final, he was facing it alone. With a sigh, he finds himself wandering back to the tend, feeling foggy and unattached. The cameras are gone here, and all of the crew are at the party or cleaning up somewhere else. He makes his way over to his table and stands, wistful for a moment as he remembered the one bright spot he'd had in his horror-filled life. That would be gone now. He palmed the brulee torch, almost without thinking. In the back of his mind a scheme had started to form, and it would require a bit of light arson. The torch would light statements much easier than a normal lighter after all.
----
Season 4 Jon waking up from his coma around the time the episodes actually aire and watching them obsessively.
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solomonish · 3 years
Text
Dork Solomon Agenda
You say sexy shady sorcerer I say nerd and love of my life
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Solomon is a sad lonely little man why just wants a genuine connection us that so much to ask???
No but seriously like. It's totally fine if you hc Solomon as this man-turned-lowkey-sex-god with a million succubi and more at his whim whenever he wants and would be a tough one to put the ol' ball and chain on like to each their own for sure! But that's not MY hc
(Thats not to say my hc means he doesn't ever engage in casual sex like that and wanting a genuine long term relationship at some point [or finding out thats what you want when you meet someone] are not mutually exclusive yknow)
So like Solomon isn't the type to be short with you or keep you at an arm's length (i mean...u get what I mean. Once you're close enough and all that jazz) or get annoyed by you wanting to be affectionate?? Hello??
He LOVES the little things you do (some on accident tbh). You feeling affectionate today and give him a kiss or three on his face before you leave to go to your separate classes? Adorable, he's fallen in love again. You do that thing where you like.. forget how to walk straight and just accidentally bump into him? No come back he likes being close to you :( He doesn't SAY these things but there's a light, airy laugh he has that gives him away.
If you're ever facetiming he will say "boo!" when you connect instead of just. Greeting you like a normal person.
His fuckin. His devilgram name is monSOLO. My mans is a star wars fan!!! I dont know any of The Discourse bc I'm not super into star wars myself but he has IN DEPTH opinions about the movies. Seriously rivals Levi in this aspect. Please make time for movie nights where you watch the movies together 🥺 especially if you haven't seen them before he'd love to convert you 🥺
Didn't Solomon also have a thing for TSL??? Or am I just imagining it??
I feel like his ideal date would be exploring something new, whether its this new spooky forest or "hey have we been down this alley before? Let's check it out!" but ideal date number TWO is movie night. Even if it isn't Star Wars. He likes to sit on opposite ends of the couch throwing popcorn into each other's mouths (and big candies like peanut m&ms where you both have almost choked before) and maybe a footsie war if he's feeling real devious. Then at some point you grab a blanket and snuggle up to him and you both fall asleep on the couch
Simeon yells at him when you leave because there's popcorn EVERYWHERE
LOVES when you laugh super loud. Idk man he just thinks its great when you have such unbridled joy and then he laughs too 😊 not as loud though he's more of a quiet chuckle kind of guy (most of the time).
Is friends with Asmo so is extremely great at slumber party gossip. Catch him in his pajamas, cross-legged on the floor while clutching a pillow to his chest and listening intently to you rant about the brothers.
"Come here I have a secret to tell you" (blows air in your ear) "okay okay I'm sorry but come here again" (blows air on your neck) "okay okay last time! I actually have something to tell you. Please? Its important...." (kisses ur cheek) "like u a lil bit xo"
Never the type to send "good morning beautiful" or "good night 💞" texts. Instead he'll send you something at 4 am like "the infinite cosmos will eventually swallow whole all familiarity and life as it is now presently known and despite the adaptations humans or demons or angels could make i will still have to adapt and face the world as an alien in the realm I love so dearly. Funny how the strongest of beings bow to the whim of space and time. But sometimes my eternal journey doesn't seem so daunting when I realize that with my everlasting life will be the memory of you no matter how distant and the survival of the vessel you loved...."
And then at lunch that day when the brothers pull you away he'll send you a picture of the lasagna they're serving with "this kinda looks like you? Don't worry I'd still hit it" and then two minutes later "you not the pasta"
Is the type to think randomly "oh damn I love you so much" but has an impressive filter about it. Or he thinks he does until Luke grumbles "ugh get a room thats the fifth time you've seen that since monday" ok, sometimes he has a good filter about it
He can't help it! Sometimes you just say something really smart (or something SPECTACULARLY dumb) or you do something cute like lean on him or smile a specific way or-
Sir.....you're head over heels sir :/
The type who would go to a playground at night with you and just swing on the swings talking about life
Wants to have a secret handshake with you!!
If you're ever on a road trip with just the two of you, you can get him to join in on the terrible singing but he'll be a lot quieter than you
Also will only join in if he isn't driving. If he is and you aren't talking, he's just humming underneath his breath. Will drum on the steering wheel though
Cooking
(Yes, it gets its own section because MAYBE I'm obsessed with the idea of MC teaching Solomon to cook and the food still turning out terrible but at least it isn't a void when MC is helping)
The type to flick water at you every time he washes his hands. Will chase you down just to do it.
"Hey, tilt your head back and open your mouth MC" (proceeds to dump too big a handful of shredded cheese in your mouth)
100% the type to lean over you just to hinder your cooking abilities. Who cares if the sauce splashes he's tiiiired.... you'd let belphie do it :(
Puts a hand on your lower back when he passes behind you. Hopes you'll lean into it/step back and offer him a kiss 🥺
Believes in always having a proper table setting. Prepare for whatever juice they have (or water) in wine glasses if you're having a nice-er meal
Under the assumption that a spell ruined his sense of taste (and not that he's just bad at cooking) he hates spicy food. He can feel the burn but he gets none of the flavor??? Wack. Don't hurt him like that MC. If you do because its hilarious to watch him try to be cool about it he will pout
Gets cheesy aprons. He just likes them.
Will hit you on the top of your head with a whisk to hear the noise it makes
Will buy every kitchen hack tool there is. A ketchup dispenser that looks like a gun? He's got it. A fish that helps you squeeze out the egg yolks? Yes! A dinosaur soup ladle? You bet! Pizza scissors? A tool that makes hard boiled eggs into cubes? Something that's gotta be like 200 years old and no discernable purpose? Absolutely! He wants a hot dog toaster. Do they even have hot dogs in the devildom?
Will sneak bites just because it bothers you
Overall
Look at him. He hasn't had friends in centuries. He's playful!
Look at his DEVILGRAM NAME
His funky little WAND
This is a man who is a huge nerd, thrives off of cliches and just wants to have a good time. So let him! Its mentally exhausting having those pretenses up all the time.
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giorno-plays-piano · 3 years
Text
Vicious
Part VII
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Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader
Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.
Words: 1864.
Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
________
You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.
“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”
“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”
“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”
He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”
He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.
"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."
It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?
You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.
"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."
"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."
You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.
"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"
"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.
Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.
Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?
The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.
"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"
"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"
"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."
"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.
"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."
What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?
"You're too kind. Thank you."
His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.
"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"
Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.
Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?
Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.
Well, you could at least try, right?
When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.
Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?
______________
When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core. 
Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again. 
Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.
Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.
“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”
What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?
“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.
“Did you study all night?”
“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”
“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”
Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.
You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.
“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”
As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.
_________
Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks
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gildedmuse · 3 years
Text
Hey, everyone.
So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.
But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.
.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.
Shanks Is A Bad Influence
It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:
He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.
That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.
My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.
Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?
Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!
Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*
Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?
Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.
Benn: You didn't.
Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.
Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.
Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.
Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!
Mihawk: Are you quite done?
Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?
Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?
Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.
Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.
Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!
Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.
Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.
Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?
Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.
Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.
Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.
Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.
Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?
Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.
Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...
Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.
Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?
Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.
Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).
Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?
Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.
Shanks: ....
Shanks: ....
Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!
Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?
Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.
Mihawk: And silence.
Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.
Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.
Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?
The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?
It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.
He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.
Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.
It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)
Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.
Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.
That's fine then.
Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.
They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.
So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be
Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.
Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.
One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.
The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.
Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.
Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)
"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"
Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.
That lasted until Roronoa.
(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)
Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*
*Cross out, scribbles*
*Hands back to Benn*
Do Not Do:
- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.
Ace: Hey what's up?
Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*
Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.
After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.
Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-
Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.
Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?
Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.
Shanks: BABYSIT!?
Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.
Shanks: TROUBLED!?
Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.
Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!
No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.
Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act
Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.
Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*
Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*
Mihawk: I have my reasons.
They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.
Shanks: Sounds fake to me
Shanks: But guys!
Shanks: This isn't about you
He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.
Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!
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yn-dere · 3 years
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GRAPPLE • YAN!M.YG
Little drabble #5
As I took another swig of my scotch, letting the bitter tang slowly melt into my mouth.. I abruptly discovered how alone I truly am and suddenly the alcohol wasn't the only burning sensation I felt. I could've swore that droplets on my hand were from my leaking grotty ceiling if it weren't for my blurry vision. I simply let my tears drop into my beverage as no one was here to judge.
Alone. I always wanted to be left alone. Not only was I not fond of people in general (that hasn't changed), I also relished in the power I felt as the lone wolf. The guy that lives next door who never talks, the guy that you've never seen smile, the guy in all black looking like he's about to rob a store any second, the guy who snickers at the children when they play too loud outside, the guy that etc etc... you get my point. As much as it was clear that my neighbors didn't like me, their fear made me feel like a maverick. In a way, I was also trying to fit into the presumptions they had of me even before they knew me. If only they knew how sensitive I can be. Either extremely dissociated or too emotionally invested. A true pisces. Wasn't one into astrology but she was.
Her. It's only been three minutes and I'm already thinking of her? Guess even the harsh drinks won't help your pompous narrator here. Anyway, she was the one who made me realize that we don't chase things, we chase the emotions it brings us. I chase shots but I don't enjoy being a raging alcoholic. These intoxicants are the only thing that help me cope and carry on. I chased her because I truly believed that having her as mine would bring me euphoria. Maybe I was right. I didn't enjoy being in love with her.
I didn't enjoy feeling like I can't even breathe each time she looked at me, like I was going to suffocate. I didn't enjoy daydreaming about her as I would get too carried away and it would end up hampering my work. Did not enjoy being crazy paranoid that she would find someone else, someone better. I didn't enjoy becoming weaker as each day, month, year passed by. I didn't enjoy feeling my walls chip away, my strong facade slowly turning transparent. I don't enjoy being as much in love as I was years ago and still being about to recall every little thing she did, even if it lasted for a milisecond.
The way she had her hair over one shoulder when it was a little too warm outside, the way she only wore dresses, the way she had a constant pout even when she was happy. She was a little too obsessed with her hands, always paying more attention to them rather than what was happening around her. She loved every new trendy artist that came around only to slowly loose interest. She would always forget to wear a jacket outside so her friend would have a spare one in her car at all times. The little anklet she had on would jingle, letting you identify who was coming even before you saw her figure. I can go on and on about my love but I'd rather not. It would not only bore you to death but I would also be weeping by the end of it. Am I pathetic? Don't answer that.
Lastly, I don't enjoy living in this one bedroom shabby apartment but I can't afford to live in that nice neighborhood I once did because I spent all of my money buying her gifts that costed a fortune. I also lost my job a few days after I lost her. So many sacrifices..
God knows I tried hard. That's one lesson I've learned. There's a fine line between trying to get it and grappling it. The more you try to grapple it, the harder it gets to get it. Whether it be happiness, peace of mind, love. If only I could go back to the day I met her... that one and only fateful day I actually had the courage to talk her. If I was a coward that day just like I had always been and somehow talked myself out of confessing to her.. I wouldn't have lost her.
Wait a minute, who's ringing the bell at this ungodly hour?
"Min yoongi, you are under arrest for the rape and murder of Y/L/N Y/N five years ago. Get your hands behind your back and do not try anything."
As I was saying, the harder you try to grapple the thing that you want.. the larger the distance between you becomes. It might even cause you forcefully clutch it even more. It has consequences that you won't be able to undo even if you tried, and trust me.. I tried
(I was prompted to write this when I saw some people glorifying stalking behavior. Most stalkers do not stay stalkers, they get more and more confident as time goes on and no, it probably won't end up with them kidnapping you and everything turning into a Stockholm syndrome romance manga. What yoongs did in this story is more realistic and happens quite frequently so stay safe, love.)
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hailene · 3 years
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Blood Red Running Hood
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𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋!𝖜𝖔𝖓𝖜𝖔𝖔, 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍!𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐.𝟑 𝐊
𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓈𝓉| 𝓋𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓊
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The cold foggy morning was sending chills down your spine, the coldness reaching all the way to your flesh, to your bones. It was about to rain, you could tell. But nothing could stop you from going to your granny's house, in order to take care of her like you always said you would.
The thing is granny was dead.
You found her months ago, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth, sheets stained. You were horrified, not having seen anything like that before. But back then, a tiny little part of you sighed in relief. Granny was dead. The evil witch you had always been forced to take care of was now dead.
More than that, however, granny was murdered. And as you locked gazes with the murderer minutes after you found your grandmother dead, you body froze. You had heard about werewolves, you knew they existed, but the villagers had always tried their best to protect themselves from such creatures by going on patrols at night, killing anyone and anything that was out of the common. Your village was a small, simple gathering of poor houses. But it was tinted with so much sin and blood that it seemed like the village itself was cursed.
You had heard about werewolves. But you'd never believed you'd actually see one with your eyes. And more than that, you had never thought they would look so... human.
Probably, you would have never been able to tell the man sitting in front of you wasn't exactly human if it hadn't been for the steel-like glint in his eyes. And for the blood smearing at his lips.
For a moment, you were frozen, fear pumping through your veins and making it hard for you to breath. Then, you blacked out.
When you woke up, hours later, you thought you were in heaven. You were sure, absolutely sure that you were dead. But the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes were the steel-like eyes from earlier... except this time, they held some sort of warmth.
You looked around, realizing you were still at granny's, in her bed, with a new mattress, her lifeless body nowhere to be seen. The man sitting on the side of your bed smelled like rain, like mud, like the cold woods and the ashes in the chimney.
"I am Wonwoo," he said.
And you realized the smell was calming you down.
It's been a few months ever since then, a few months ever since you have started lying to everyone around you that you were taking good care of your beloved granny. When, in fact, you were obsessively visiting the small cottage just to meet Wonwoo. Again and again and again.
"What if they find out?" You remember yourself asking in fear one night, between two desperate kisses.
You remember him looking at you with so much love in his eyes that you could feel yourself melting, you remember wanting to pull him closer, closer... even though there was literally nothing between the two of you anymore, physically.
"Then I'll burn the whole damn village down," he answered before starting his hot work on you for the nth time that night.
Just to save you, you knew.
He was driving you insane.
Maybe that was why you couldn't help but come back to him. Again and again and again and...
When you enter the house, you find Wonwoo standing next to the hob, the delicious smell of food tingling your senses. You hum in delight as you close the door and take off your red hood, softly stepping towards the man. You hug him from behind and he lets the pots boil on the hob as he turns around to face you, kissing the top of your head gently. He smelled like rain, like mud, like fire and cold water. He smelled like home.
"I missed you, love," you hear him humming, filling you with warmth.
You haven't had a proper dinner in so long. You didn't have time for that, since you were always busy collecting the mail from the villagers and writing replies in the name of your beloved dead granny. She has always been seen as the wise woman, everybody was asking for advice from her. You knew everybody's secrets, you held way too much power for a little, young, unskillful witch.
But they didn't have to know that.
You occasionally told Laurette, your care-giver, that you'd stay over at your granny's. The woman was obviously glad that she wouldn't have to make sure she gives you any sort of dinner. You didn't quite stand her either. Ever since your parents passed and you and Kai, your younger brother, were given to Laurette to take care of you until you'd be able to take care of yourselves, your life had been a never-ending series of cloudy days. Kai used to be the only one able to cheer you up after a long, tiring day.
But now, Wonwoo could do much more.
A soft whimper escapes your lips as he goes down on you after the dinner, the dim light of the candles painting his skin in godly shades of gold. He was a murderer, an evil, a beast according to the villagers. That's why they didn't have to know about him, they didn't have to know about the two of you.
You had to admit that despite his humanly appearance, his werewolf features were showing sometimes, especially in bed. Sex with him was amazing. He was teasing, rough, but extremely good and even though you could have been scared of the extra-terrestrial strength of his choke-hold, you couldn't help but feel lured in towards him. You were obsessed.
"You should stop coming around for a few days, love," Wonwoo whispers after collapsing next to you.
You knew why. The full moon was coming.
He kisses you softly as you drift away to a sweet sleep. He was gone when you woke up the next morning.
When you returned home that day, you could feel that Laurette's gaze on you was different. Even if you didn't want to pay attention to it, the tiny drop of magic that was running through your veins was making it impossible for you to ignore it. It was almost like you could taste the fear in the atmosphere at home.
"What's wrong, Laurette?" You ask as she passes by your room with a heap of rags in her arms.
She looks at you for a few moments, as if she was surprised that you took notice of her behaviour. Then, she shakes her head, rushing towards the kitchen like she'd seen a ghost. You frown, unable to understand her behaviour. Did something happen while you were with Wonwoo last night? What could it be?
The answer, however, was about to be given to you in the form of Kai hastily waking you up the following night, incomprehensible cries and panicked whispers escaping his lips.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong, baby boy?" You ask while cupping his puffy cheeks, sleep still clouding your judgement.
"Fire, Y/N, they fire," your little brother cries.
You frown confused, rubbing your eyes to wake up.
"What fire, baby?" You ask as Kai starts crying harder. "What are you talking about?"
"They're coming, I've heard they want to burn the witch on a rug, Y/N!" He cries and your blood runs cold.
They can't possibly know, can they?
"Witch, baby boy? What witch?" You ask softly, trying your best to hide the panic.
"I-I think they were talking about y-..." he tries to say but you cover his mouth softly, your limbs already shaking.
"What else did you hear, baby?" You ask, trying to keep your voice steady.
"They w-went to granny's h-house," he cries softly. "One of them wa-was... killed by-"
You didn't need anything more than this.
You get up from your mattress and put some clothes on, helping Kai to dress up as well. You take your blood-red hood and put it on, kneeling next to your brother afterwards.
You could already hear loud voices outside.
"You go to the water wheel and hide there until I come to get you, okay?" You speak, holding him tightly. "If I don't come by dawn, you run and never come back here, okay?"
"B-But, Y/N–"
"Y/N loves you, baby boy, Y/N loves you so much," you whisper as tears come streaming down your face.
Kai starts sobbing too. It breaks you.
"Chin up, baby, okay?" You say, trying to get a hold of yourself. "Just have faith and trust Y/N."
Before your brother can say anything else, you jump out the window.
You run through the night, far away from the angry voices and fire torches. You run through the woods, mindlessly, only having one thought in your mind.
Wonwoo.
Was he okay? Did he kill yet another villager? You were aware of the fact that he was so far from being a saint and that it wasn't the first time he'd kill one of the people in your village, but that only made you love him more. You weren't much of a good character either.
As you reach the cottage in the woods, you realize it was vandalized. The few pieces of poor furniture were broken, pots, candles and papers thrown on the floor. The few remaining potions, herbs and spell books you had stored were all torn open, pulled out from the secret places you thought you had secured them in. It was all a mess, a bloody, ruthless mess and the deep animal scratches on the wall weren't making it any better.
No sign of Wonwoo.
As you look around more carefully, your blood runs cold. You shouldn't have come here.
It was a trap.
"The little witch is here," the man in front of you shouts and you here footsteps coming from the outside.
Before you can turn around and run away, more men enter the cottage, blocking your way, and panic rises from the pit of your stomach, your vision getting blurry. Seconds later, you feel something hard hitting your head from behind, letting you fall in a dark abyss.
Before you open your eyes, you feel warmth, heat. You feel fire. And as you open them, you realize why. Your body was tied to a wooden rug, surrounded by a circle of flames. It was hot, almost unbearably.
"The witch woke up! It's time to burn her back to hell!" You hear someone screaming.
Your eyes meet Laurette's figure and you feel your whole body filling with so much rage that you swore the flames around you started burning brighter. And then you see it, the whole village gathered around you in hateful circles, looking at you as if you killed their families. Maybe you did. But not intentionally.
Rocks and sticks were being thrown at you, curses and words spit in your direction, but nothing that your mind and body could cope with. Your time has arrived, you were getting the fate that you deserved, so now, you could only hope that your brother and your lover were going to be okay.
You are a witch after all. You are evil. And you have been too stupid, too careless to keep on living. You deserve to die. You deserve to be burnt on a rug.
As one of the villagers approaches you with a lit torch, you hear a freezing growl, not that far from where you were. Moments later, the fire surrounding you starts reflecting in different places. You think it's your mind going insane, you think it's your vision getting damaged by fear, by defeat, by the unnerving warmth the flames were attacking you with. But as you hear the growl getting louder and the panicked screams of the villagers running around, you realize something went wrong in their plan.
You can't help but laugh as the villager who was coming towards you starts running for his life, screaming as the grey wolf with fire in his eyes starts chasing him. You couldn't be afraid of the wolves. You couldn't be afraid of Wonwoo.
People slowly disappear, corpses taking their place, the fire slowly starting to take over the whole town. You were surrounded by a realm of flames and you felt like you were on fire yourself, but you were laughing like a maniac, unable to control yourself.
Your curses worked. This God-forsaken village was now burning to fucking ashes.
You feel something or someone untying your wrists and ankles from the wooden rug and as you turn to look next to you, you meet the steel-like gaze of the man you were so in love with. He picks you up from the torture place and rushes out of the fire, running and running until you can actually feel the cold night wind whipping your bare skin.
Wonwoo turns around to look once again at the burning village, the fire contrasting with the dark night in such a sinfully-pleasing way. You adored that.
"It's finally gone," he whispers, your mouth watering at his hoarse voice.
I'll burn the whole damn village down, you remember.
You pull him by his torn shirt and he looks at you, warmth shining in his eyes brighter than that goddamn fire. You kiss him hungrily, tasting the smoke, the blood and the mud on his lips. It was all sweeter than honey, more addicting than any sort of herb you've seen before. This was Wonwoo, the forbidden taste you have always, always been longing for. Now you had it. And in the devil's name, you regretted absolutely nothing.
"The water wheel," you choke out as you pull away, your lips swollen, tinted with blood. "We have to find Kai at the water wheel."
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Part 24: Appearance
Erik shuffled down the aisle of the train car, crutch nudged snuggly into his armpit and a suitcase half his size rolling behind with a heavy looking duffel. No one offered assistance and he didn't ask. As a black man, he could always count on that as a consistency. Crutches and all, he'd be viewed as overly capable. From a young age it was ingrained through experience.. all you have is yourself because no one out here will help you, a young black man. Time had proven it again and again. Injured, he could still handle more weight than the average man and it was because he pushed himself. He relied only on himself. Even hospitalized, he found ways to maintain his strength. Weakness and laziness was never an option, not even for recovery. With all his money, that was still something he couldn't afford. But they could.. the white couple on the left. He couldn't help but notice them sitting there.
A closer look told him they weren't actually a couple. The blonde girl's face screamed underage. Fifteen/sixteen. The heavy makeup she wore aged her. She looked high. Heroin, Erik guessed glancing subtly for track marks. She looked up and he glanced away to a Spanish speaking family with five kids including a crying baby. He bit his lip on his way to take his seat at the rear where he could see everyone. The man in front of him was on his way to sleep. Erik put in his earbuds and continued his watch.
As the hours passed, he noticed more and more. The kids had no home training. The parents had no sense of awareness considering they sat opposite a fifteen year old girl being held against her will. It could easily be one of their kids, with them not paying attention it wouldn't take much. The baby had the healthiest lungs of any baby he'd ever heard. That blonde girl was high as hell. She got up to use the bathroom on his side of the train and he kept his eyes down as she passed with her trafficker on her ass to make sure she ain't try nothing risky. Ain't none of my black ass business, Erik told himself. He hadn't signed up to save any little blonde girls. He kept his eyes down as they passed him again to return to their seats and she dropped a tiny earring on the floor next to his foot on purpose. Damn, he groaned dropping his head on the back of the seat. Why me? I just said I ain't wanna get involved in this shit.
Taking a deep sigh, he picked up the earring and did what made sense. He googled the train police department and texted in a report using his sub contact phone, the main phone. He gave a description of the couple and information regarding the train. You're welcome, he thought watching the back of the girl's head before settling back in his seat comfortably. Any other time he'd have ignored her, not that victims often reached out to him so clearly. Still, it was an unnecessary risk calling on police. What if they decided to search the train? The whole point of taking the train was to not be searched.
Y/N would be proud right now, his lip twisted in irritation. She'd become the true north of his moral compass. What would Y/N do in the situation? The thought made him nauseous. She wouldn't survive his lifestyle. He wouldn't survive it with her morals. This is dangerous. We are completely incompatible, but I still want you, he admitted to himself. It was more like need. Obsession even. There was a burning feeling in his gut. "This shit ain't healthy," he muttered.
-----
"Wow, may I..," Tanner's fingers hover in the air, his eyes on your fresh braids. Your eyebrows answer before you can and he lowers his hand with a smile. "Those braids are really something. Would it be offensive if I asked how they're attached?" He looks so fascinated. He's been staring and talking to the top of your head since he saw you this morning in the lobby and now he's staring just as hard from across the small booth table at Pho Station.
"You just buy braiding hair and braid it into your hair. That's literally it."
"Braiding hair.. what's that?" His head rests on his hand as his elbow sits on the table. He's so curious, staring dreamily.
"It's packs of hair you get at the store specifically for braided styles." You slurp in a spoonful of long noodles.
"Is it human hair?"
"Synthetic." It comes out muffled as you break off the noodles hanging from your mouth with a chopstick so you can swallow.
"Synthetic? What's the difference..," his blue eyes drift lazily down to your nearly black ones. "Well, I mean in how they look."
"Human hair is typically Malaysian or Brazillian, something like that. You can straighten or curl it because it's actual hair. Synthetic fibers can melt but it's inexpensive and can mimic hair textures well."
"Well it's beautiful," he nods. "I've always wondered about it. Does it hurt?"
"Mm-mm," you grumble slurping the broth of your chicken pho. "No these are knotless and they don't hurt." That confuses him so you get into the difference between regular box braids and knotless. "You can't even sleep when you first get regular box braids because it's so tight that's why I don't wear them."
"Yes.. don't wear them if they hurt. Don't wanna pull out all that beautiful hair.." His eyes hold a familiar twinkle. The way he stares.. it reminds you of Erik. You don't wanna think about the meaning of it.
"Damn right.. Hey your pho's gonna get cold."
"Oh," his brows raise in faux offense. He picks up his soup spoon looking away for the first time. It's about time. "Well these.. knotless braids," he gestures with the spoon, "They look amazing on you," he smirks. "But you're already gorgeous, you know that."
"This from a Gene Kelly/James Dean lookalike. You look like you belong in a Marvel movie. That dark hair.. chiseled jaw? And who do you get those eyes from?"
"My grandma. My mom's eyes are carmel brown and so are my sister's. My father's are a darker brown."
"Punnet square kicked in hard."
"So tell me where your features come from," his eyes twinkle, hands folded under his strong chin. Your heart nearly skips a beat. It took a while for you to admit it to yourself because you'd have to admit you were lowkey using him.. but you knew what he was doing and how he felt from the start. That look was infatuation.
Opening doors, calling on me, paying for lunch every time, bringing me coffee? It's a lot.. Well that's because he likes me.. No It could be friendly, doesn't mean he likes me.
Almost everyday you told yourself the same thing.
I don't want him as anything more than a friend, maybe a work husband now that I know he's a cool lil white boy. I think he knows that..
Not when you flirt back he doesn't know that..
But is it really flirting or being nice? Besides I think he might feel the same.
A look into his eyes slams that possibility.
Who am I kidding. Maybe it's wrong to let him pay. Is that selfish?..
Girl, you're not dumb you know exactly what you're doing..
No, but really, I enjoy his company. I look forward to our little lunch outings as much as he does..
Then pay for yourself!..
I KNOW, but I don't.. want to...
Blinking, you sigh clearing your guilty conscience. "I look exactly like my dad but my personality is my mom."
"Oh really. That's where you get those adorably chubby cheeks from? Your dad? Interesting family photos I bet."
"Believe it or not that's also where I get this tummy and all this ass from," I say straight faced watching his cheeks sink in. On that note, he buries himself in his pho and I watch him hold himself together, the both of us laughing on the inside.
"You're ridiculous," he smiles down at his bowl. "What will I ever do with you.."
"Hopefully keep feeding me."
"Of course, Barb told me about a BBQ place about fifteen minutes from here. How about tomorrow?"
"Then I can show you pictures of my bootylicious father," you stare watching him collect himself again.
"Wow," he chokes on his broth. "Or we can look at yours, completely up to you."
-----
Never had it felt so good to be coming or going. Erik wheeled his bags through the station coolly, but internally he was leaping for joy like a little kid. After touching down in every continent through the military as a soldier and then a mercenary soldier, he was used to traveling. New locations, customs, and languages were the norm. War, battle, and toppling small countries for their resources and political control was the norm. It wasn't right, but it made big money and when his service ended, he retired. However, that didn't change the fact that he was still a multilingual and adaptable war weapon with no other real skill or interest other than killing. He was good at it so he made it a business. A consultant was what he called himself. Gameplay and development was the front.
Life as an assassin made him his own boss. He could kill and go off the map at will. He'd travel as far as it took to complete the task and take cash or cryptocurrency which he'd translate into several offshore accounts before his domestic ones. He'd usually buy a throwaway car, restock his ammo, spend time sunbathing on a yacht in the Maldives, hunker down in a city where he blended in and then isolate for a month wallowing in a small room before his next kill. Sightseeing wasn't on his agenda. He'd been all over the world and seen the worst of human nature. Texas had been a first as far as experiencing the high points anywhere. He'd enjoyed his stay with a woman and they'd gone on dates, real dates. He'd gone to an amusement park of all places and taken her around the city. It was magical though he'd almost been killed for it. Texas.. Not Cartagena or Havana or Jaipur but country ass Texas. Now here he was finally back in Cali. Nothing came close to the joy of having someone waiting for him. Someone who'd be overjoyed to see him. His job was done, his leg was healing up nicely, no one was after him because he'd left no one alive that could easily identify him. He was on his way home.
Home, he smiled somewhat bitterly. More like playing house.. Ain't none of this shit real and eventually it will end, probably in disaster.
Still.. He couldn't drop the facade for it was filling a hole within him that he hadn't realized until recently could be filled. He had latent desires. Playing house with her was the closest to a home he'd ever get.
-----
Erik's car takes premium gas and you wonder about his bills. Is he paying them? 'Cause you're not. He'd better have it worked out because once the lights go out in this isolated grand establishment, you're gone. You've gotten too used to walking around with every bright light in the house on at night. Walking through the bathroom butt naked you light the very last of his pricey looking black label white candles having burned through the rest of his supply. This one's Leather scented, not the best but not bad. That's why it was last. Locking the bathroom door out of habit, you run the shower and enjoy the luxurious spa room you've become accustomed to. The water pressure still hits. The warm thick white towels are fresh from the dryer. Your body is hairless from shaving and you've just purchased a new body oil to try that Ava swears by. Though you're only going to bed, you can't resist it. It smells like like fresh baked cookies from the oven and makes your skin radiate golden. It's perfect for a pool party or the beach.. whenever you end up going again which may be a while. Taking a few suggestive shiny body selfies in the towel, you decide to go ahead and send them to Erik though he doesn't deserve them. Someone has to see your glass skin. You hadn't spoken to him in the last two days as he'd been "busy". Doing what, you had no clue. It felt like bullshit. All of it. It was maddening to the point that you didn't want to care anymore, whether he returned or stayed. He'd been gone too long. Waaay too long. His reasons for wanting you out of Texas were beginning to feel like lies.
There's probably a huge harem of harlot whores he's entertaining and he doesn't want me to know he lied about only having three submissives, the asshole. He's probably in some twisted unsanitary orgy in a dark and questionable dungeon drinking glowing lime jello shooters and getting blackout drunk right now.. Probably whipping some poor girl with one of those long cowboy whips. God knows what he does with his other subs. If he was that dirty with Lil Bitch's morally debased ass and that was in front of me...
Every now and again the thought would cross your mind. Fuck him, you thought. Stay gone. I'll keep living here alone in the lap of luxury.
Never before had you been in a hot tub so often. It did wonders for a post work unwind with a smoothie or herbal tea in hand. You didn't need him when you had wifi, cable, powerful A/C, and a full fridge. He could stay with whoever he was with.
But what if he doesn't come back, your mind wonders darkly. What if he stays in Texas and never comes back?
Suddenly the house seems a lot chillier and unwelcoming.. Empty even. Too quiet. Hugging yourself for comfort you wander through the house and turn each of the lights off one by one to get an idea once more just how dark it gets. Too dark. Pitch black. You can't even see a hand in front of your face and panic sets in along with a strong inner body chill. This isn't something you can do and if Erik never comes back...
Honestly you've never seriously considered that possibility. The thought brings a loneliness that echoes the depth of darkness, both equally terrifying. The fact is that you do care.. profoundly to the point that his continued absence really bothers you. He has already become an indestructible pillar in your everyday life. Going days without so much as a hello feels like a week and that doesn't do much good for your anxiety.
Flipping each of the lights back on, you settle into Erik's bed this time around and stare at the time until you doze off. When you open your eyes there's natural light coming in through the window and you take a grateful breath before sitting up in the bed.
"Good morning," a chilling voice interjects and you nearly have a heart attack, unable to scream in the face of Flu sitting on the edge of the bed watching you. You want to run, scream, fight, anything but your body which is frozen in absolute fear and shock will not move. He smiles and you dart upright in bed sweating cold bullets and panting. Outside is still dark. According to the clock you've been sleep three and a half hours. It's 3:30 AM. Taking a deep breath to calm your breathing you look around the room comforting yourself with the mantra "It's just a dream. You're okay. You're okay. There's nothing to worry about. You've been safe and you're still safe. You're completely safe." A few minutes of repeating it and looking around, listening closely to the air has you relaxed enough to fall back asleep especially since your eyes are crossing up. When your eyes open again you check the clock. It's been almost another hour but you keep waking up.
Hold up. Didn't I have the light on?
Thinking back, your half sleep mind isn't completely sure but you know you sleep with the lights on. Nervous to move, your wide eyes search the pitch blackness before you and when you get the courage to move, you turn over bracing yourself to see Flu sitting there beside you on the bed. Nothing's there or out of the ordinary.
Did the lights go out? Did it blow? I think I had it on...
It's not getting up to explore. That's how people fir in movies. Instead, you bury your head in the covers like a small child and slip back into sleep. Or at least almost. Before you can cover your eyes with the blanket, you hear something that sounds like a slight vibration. That would be normal.. if your phone wasn't all the way downstairs.
A hand clamps over your mouth and as you feel a body quickly cover yours you grab at the darkness in attempt to gouge, scratch, and scrape whatever you can reach. When you pull locs, your brain registers and you yank them hard to get a noise.
"AHH," he whisper screams.
"ERIK WHAT THE FUCK?!" This time your lungs are free and healthy because you yell directly in his ear, slapping at him. "YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK." Breathless, you try to catch it, still swinging. "Why would you do that! What the fuck is wrong with you!"
"I wanted to surprise you," he grips your hands. "I didn't think you'd try to rip my damn hair out! And why your nails so sharp!"
"Are you mentally deficient? In what world did that seem like a good idea to you?!"
"Catch your breath," he says quietly.
Getting up he flips the lights and sits on the bed beside you. You haven't seen him in what feels like ages. "You still having nightmares." It's not a question as he looks in your tired eyes.
"Not often, just a couple of times since I've been on my own here." You didn't really have them when you two were together. He nods understanding your meaning. You hadn't mentioned it on the phone or through text. What could he have done about it anyway? There's a moment of silence as he rests his hand over your blanketed leg.
"I'm sorry for being away so long..," he says quietly. "I mean it. I'm sorry for scaring you.. I honestly didn't consider the nightmares because when we were together you didn't have them. I promise you, you are safe. He can't hurt you. There are many things in this world that can, but I promise he's not one.. and as long as I'm here I won't let anyone touch you. I will protect you with my life."
"That's good and all," you sigh, half listening and half asleep already. "But can you just.. stay here with me until I fall asleep."
"You in my bed," he smiles climbing fully dressed under the blanket to scoop you into his arms. Instantly your body clings to his and his shirt becomes your new pillow. You feel the quick sensation of his lips on your temple. "Did you miss me," he whispers. You mean to respond, but instead you fade out asleep.
-----
As soon as he'd slipped into the bed, she was knocked, sleeping soundly and breathing loud. He stroked her braids, her arm, and her back gently but firmly the way he always had when she needed help to relax.
"I missed you," he whispered into her forehead. She responded with a small fart and his nose crinkled. He didn't smell it which meant it was trapped under the blanket. She did it once more just then but it was louder. She'd be horrified if she were awake. "Y/N," he groaned hoping he wouldn't smell it. He didn't dare move though. He only sighed and continued rubbing her back. "Stink," he nicknamed her on the spot. "My lil stink stink," his stomach jumped in humor thinking of her reaction in the morning. He wanted to see the expression on her face when he called her that and when she heard the explanation of why. It made his chest shake. He tried to control it so not to wake her. She was sleeping too good for him to even get up and take his outside clothes off and they were hot to sleep in. He wanted to get comfortable.
That's okay, he decided as he settled in to fall asleep exactly where he was, under her. It took some effort to get comfortable in that position but in that moment there was no other place he'd have rather been.
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