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#i always wanted him to be more appreciated
lymtw · 16 hours
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Toji invites you over with a simple text of:
You busy tonight, doll?
To which you respond:
I don't think so... Not that I know of. Why?
Toji laughs through his nose when he reads your message. Even the way you text him has your timidness imbued into it. It's precious.
Come spend the night at my place. You told me you're off tomorrow, right?
I am, but are you sure? Driving home is not a problem for me. I can hang out and go home after.
You're staying. I wanna try something with you and it requires you to stay the night. You can't go home.
Oh okay! I'll be there in 10.
Drive safe.
Toji likes that you're very precise about the time you'll be arriving somewhere, and if you're ever late when it comes to spending time with him, you apologize profusely, nonstop. You won't stop blubbering about why you're late and how sorry you are for making him wait, even after Toji's expressed that he's more than understanding. He's the king of showing up late to plans, so he can't be a hypocrite and scold you when you don't do it often at all.
You're so sorry, though, and you don't shut up about it until he makes you shut up with a kiss. You're helpless, and you can't for the life of you figure out where to put your hands when you're so focused on the grip he had on your waist to pull you up against him.
He releases your lips, cracking a grin at the look of wonder on your face. He can't deny the pride that swells in his chest at his ability to disarm you and prevent you from having a total meltdown over a three minute delay.
Toji has gotten so much better at handling situations like these with you. It's only fair for him to gain satisfaction out of making you feel better. After all, you are a first for him. You're emotionally fragile, you're a nervous wreck, and your voice competes with the wind just to be heard. Toji doesn't set aside the fact that you're also beautiful, warmhearted, and you try for him. He sees your attempts to be affectionate. You'll slowly reach your hand out to hold his and then bail the second he catches you. He ends up having to interlock his fingers with yours because your embarrassment doesn't allow you to try again. He still appreciates that you leave your comfort zone for him and allow him to guide you towards new experiences.
"Stop with the guilty feelings, ma. We have all night and all day tomorrow. What's a couple minutes to ensure you get to me in one piece?" He says, comforting your droopy self. You look like a sad, abandoned puppy, now sporting rosy cheeks from his surprising gesture.
"Okay," you say, feeling a little more at ease. "What did you have in mind for tonight?"
"Follow me," he says, leading you through his living room to his kitchen. He pulls out a stool for you and points at it. "Sit." You want to laugh at the way he says it like he's teaching commands to a dog, but you know he doesn't mean it that way, so you obediently sit down like one anyway.
"Have you eaten anything?" He asks, silently hoping you have because he doesn't have anything to make you dinner. He would have to order in or pick something up.
"I ate a couple hours ago. Still pretty full," you respond, watching him reach up for something in his cabinets. There's now a tall glass bottle with a red label and matching cap sitting on the counter.
"How 'bout it?" He says, a large hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle. "We could go to the couch and watch a movie or something."
He's never seen you under the influence of anything, but based on your reaction, maybe he'll get a show tonight. He's always wanted to know what you would be like if you were more extroverted and outspoken. There's nothing wrong with the way you are, but if things keep going the way they're going between you and Toji, he's bound to meet your chatty alter ego at some point in the future. What better way to have this experience than in a secure place with someone who can handle their alcohol and take care of you if it turns out that you can't.
"Okay, sure." You giggle, excitedly.
You're a lightweight. Even the fruitiest, sweetest alcoholic beverage will quickly take a toll on you while you're sipping on it. Wine is a step up, so you'll have to try your best to keep it together for the sake of not looking sloppy in front of Toji.
Toji brings down two glasses, and pours out the deep red liquid into them. One for you, one for him. He hands the glass to you, and nods at your quiet "thank you".
Toji watches as you immediately take a sip. He sees the way your nose scrunches at what you consider to be a funny taste, but the second you put the glass down, you smile like nothing. You don't like it at all. You hate the bitterness, and the fact that it's made with fermented grapes lives in the back of your head.
"How is it?" He asks, holding back a chuckle. You're too sweet for your own good, pretending to enjoy this for him.
"I like it," you say, pressing your lips together.
"Yeah? I think it's kinda gross. Guess I was expecting more from a fancy ass bottle, but brands are gonna brand, huh?"
You giggle, almost involuntarily. You're one gulp in, and already you're starting to feel the effects.
One of your worst habits includes chugging drinks that don't taste good, just so you can get them over with. You even do this when your drink is messed up at coffee shop. You're too nice to ask the barista to remake it, so you suck it up and drink the incorrect beverage solely for the caffeine you hope it has in it. This time is no different. You hate the taste of alcohol. You don't do plain shots, you can't stand hard ciders, and wine is no exception, but you're doing this for Toji. He cracked open the bottle to share with you, so you're going to drink every ounce of the liquid in the glass, whether you like the taste or not.
You bring the glass to your lips again, taking a much larger sip. The glass is a little less than halfway now, and your eyelids are starting to feel a little heavy. Not in a sleepy manner, but you can't seem to hold your eyes open as wide anymore.
You exhale through your nose, shut your eyes, and then blink them back open to take note of your altered state.
"That was a lot. How are you feeling?" Toji asks, noticing a shift in your demeanor. You seem a little more sluggish now. You turn your attention to him, your eyes rolling when they turn to meet his.
"I'm good, how are you?" You ask, like it was the start of a conversation rather than an ongoing one. Your eyes almost shut completely when you smile at him.
"You're tipsy already, aren't you?" He asks, with a grin on his face.
"Pshh, what? No, i'm not," you say, contradicting yourself with a giggle. "Answer the question, baby. How are you?"
"Fine," he responds, lingering on the pet name. You've got loose lips, now. In any other circumstance, you would address him by his name. Most of the time Toji is the one giving you pet names, for the sake of flustering you. He loves the way you look at him when he calls you doll or sweetheart, somewhat shocked every time the words leave his mouth.
"Yeah? That's good." You pick up the glass one more time, sighing before you mutter, "'scuse me. Gotta finish this."
With that last sip, the glass was now empty. Even Toji thinks you drank that too fast, but he still has the courtesy to ask you if you want more.
"Mhm, I'll have a little bit more. Just a tiny bit." Toji pours as much as he did the first time, chuckling when you nod in approval of the quantity. "That's perfect. Absolutely, perfect. You're a genius, my love." You flash him a smile before starting on the next glass.
Toji was considering having another glass, but that was before you called him "my love" in a tone so warm that he felt like he just had a bowl of hot soup that was now settling in his stomach. That was before you smiled at him in such a free spirited manner. It was too late for him to see you in this state while completely sober, but he sure as hell wouldn't be adding anymore alcohol to his system. He can't miss something like this, so instead he leans forward on the counter, and intently watches your every move.
"I got something on my face?" You ask, dragging your sleeves all over your face. You examine your sleeves and they're clean. "You liar. You're looking at me like that for nothing." You squint at him, a slight scrunch in your nose to define your defensiveness.
Toji laughs, his focus now on the small pinch in your brows. "Don't go picking fights over nothing. It's not a crime to look at my pretty baby."
Your faux tough exterior immediately crumbles, the irked expression on your face dropping to the ground, at the sugary words he uses on you. Your face feels very warm, and now there's an indefinite blush on it. You can't stop smiling at the look on Toji's face. He's so focused that he's gone speechless, and you eventually break into a laughing fit because of it.
"Hey... i'm usually the quiet one. Why aren't you talking, pretty boy? Need me to shut up?"
The pet name has Toji glancing at your glass, noticing that it was full for less than five minutes. This was new— you being flirtatious towards him. He didn't have any complaints about it whatsoever.
Once again, the quantity of the wine in your glass was below the halfway mark. "Nah, baby. Talk to me. You must really like the wine, huh?"
"Mmm..." you lean forward towards him, with your elbow on the counter and your chin in your palm. "What makes you say that?"
He actually snickers this time, earning a sly grin from you. "You're chugging it like it's water. It's either you love it or it tastes like ass and you're dying to spit it out."
You pick up the glass again, one last time. "Let's find out if I like it," you say as if you're not on your second serving. You let the liquid hit your tongue, and you are instantly repulsed by the flavor. The glass is tilted all the way up, signaling that you've finished two cups of wine in less than fifteen minutes. Your cheeks are filled with the drink, blown up like a puffer fish, which makes Toji smile softly with anticipation for your reaction. Your tongue stays on the roof of your mouth, keeping the wine in your cheeks separate, to give you a break for a few seconds. You release the bubbles of your cheeks and your mouth is flooded with the bittersweet liquid. You swallow the burgundy mouthful and smile with your lips pressed together once it's all gone. The mouth drying effect of wine is your least favorite thing about it.
"So?" Toji prompts.
"It's-" you gag, clasping a hand over your mouth with wide, slightly teary eyes.
Toji's chest and shoulders shake as he contains his laughter, his lips pressed together tightly to stifle the smile threatening to show itself, but his eyes tell you everything.
"Wooo, sorry about that," you say, chuckling through the embarrassment. "It's good," you repeat, still muffled by your palm.
"Yeah? Want more?" Toji asks, holding up the bottle with a teasing grin on his face.
You almost gag again but manage to control yourself. "No, thank you. Any more and I'll doze off, and we both know that's not what i'm here for." There was a hint of sultriness in your tone, something Toji was not sufficiently familiar with. It was a completely welcome shift from your normally tentative way of speaking to him.
"I know why you're here, but I wanna know what you think you're here for."
You stand from your stool and lean more of your body onto the counter. Your hand reaches for his, and for the first time, you don't pull back before making contact with his skin. "To love on you, of course," you say, with those pretty rosy cheeks. Your eyes remained glossy and your nose was still red from trying not to bring the wine back up earlier, but Toji thought you looked so cute.
"Is that right?" His thumb brushes over your knuckles, feeling the softness against his rough fingertip.
"Let's go watch that movie you were talking about and you'll see what I mean."
Toji was loving this. Your confidence, your lack of holding back anything you had to say, it was truly baffling how you could be someone else entirely with just a couple glasses of wine.
You keep his hand in yours, and as if it were your house, you say, "come on," and drag him along to the living room.
This time you say "sit" and point at the couch. This time he's the obedient dog and does as you say, sitting on the exact cushion you were pointing at with a smirk on his face. He moves the couch pillow aside to make room for you, but you had another seat in mind. You take two steps towards him before slowly dropping yourself into his lap, straddling him.
"I see you're finally taking your seat on the throne, hm?" He grins, resting his hands on your waist. This is the closest Toji's been allowed to watch you giggle without you burying your face into his neck and it's a trip. He can see the details of the creases around your eyes and the lift in your cheeks as you smile. He feels fuzzy, and he didn't even finish his glass of wine, so he knows it's not that.
"Stop making me laugh and pick a movie, will you? I'm here for that, too."
He picks up the remote for the TV and turns it on. "How are you gonna watch the movie while facing me?"
"Actually,.. can I tell you a secret, baby?" You ask, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your fingers play with the hair that reaches towards the nape of his neck, combing through it gently.
"What's that, princess?" Toji asks, vert eyes flitting between your eyes and that sweet smile of yours.
"I don't wanna watch a movie. I... wanna look at you... and that's it." Your nails gently scratch the back of his head, eliciting a tingly sensation that makes chills run down his spine.
"That's cool, too," Toji says, turning the TV off again, not caring that it was on for less than a minute before you changed your mind. He sighs, adjusting his position beneath you. Your thighs are secured around his hips, your knees touching the backrest of the couch.
"You're so handsome, my baby. God, look at those eyes," you whisper in awe, before giggling and bringing your hands to his face. You trace the bags under his eyes with your thumbs while admiring the haunting shade of green that scopes on you. Toji's hand comes up to loosely wrap around your wrist. He's not there to stop you, he just wants to move along with you as you observe his face.
"I know I don't say this to you enough, but I find you..." you sigh, blinking slowly, "enchanting..." You lean in and kiss the left corner of his lips—his right, and feel the smooth, tattered skin beneath your warm lips. "and I love you," you mumble into the cicatrix. "So fucking much, baby. And i'm sorry that you'll never know exactly how much because you aren't me." You're looking at him with so much adoration and touching him with a delicacy that can't be put into words. It's a deadly combination, one that has Toji in a chokehold and forces him to soften up even more for you.
He tightens the hold he has on your waist, pulling you closer until your stomach is pressed to his, as a result. You being so affectionate towards him is making him feel really good, and you have no idea because you're too focused on appreciating him. He's subconsciously leaning into your touch, his softened gaze meeting your lovestruck one.
"Fuck. I love you, too, princess," he murmurs, squeezing your wrist in his hand. He pulls your hand down to his chest. "Want you to aim for my lips, this time."
"Okay," you say, smiling before closing the distance between your lips and Toji's. He can still taste the remnants of the wine you inhaled minutes ago, but it tastes much better and a lot sweeter on you. Toji can hear your high pitched little hums as you kiss him, happiness pouring into your kisses. You're trying so hard not to laugh in his face, and trying is the best you can do, right now. You never were good at hiding your smile from Toji. He can't see it, but he can feel the way your lips widen, and he's occasionally kissing your teeth when your sluggishness keeps you from matching his pace. With little pants leaving you, you drag your lips away.
He sighs, frustrated by the loss of your softness against him. "Baby..." he groans, the sound almost whine-like to your ears. He wants more, so much more of you, and you're ignoring him. You're too busy kissing his chin, and his cheeks, and the tip of his nose.
You drag your other hand down to his chest and keep your hands splayed out on it as you let your lips trail his jaw, lightly sucking on the skin. Toji can't help but think about how this version of you will be gone in the morning. You won't be as outwardly affectionate, you'll go back to second guessing every move you make with him and shrinking every time he steals kisses from you, instead of confidently kissing him back like you did a minute ago.
You make your way down his neck, pressing kiss after kiss on him before you move towards his ear. "I love you, Toji," you whisper, kissing the shell of his ear after. "Love you, love you, love you soooo much," you barrage, before throwing him off with a bite to his earlobe. You giggle like a menace into his ear, the warmth of your breath luring goosebumps out onto his skin.
He chuckles, repeatedly squeezing the soft skin of your waist between his hands. "Yeah? Tell me again," he murmurs snaking his hands beneath the back of your shirt. Your skin is very warm, and there's nothing to blame but Toji and that shitty wine for making your body react this way.
With uninterrupted hands, you course your fingers through his hair and lean in to bite him again, this time on his neck. Toji chuckles at how you instantly rush to soothe him with your tongue and a warm kiss, even when you inflicted zero pain on him.
"I love you, Toji," you repeat into the wet indentations you left behind. "My love... my handsome man... I cherish you, you know?"
Toji is practically purring at all the affection you're showering him with. The slurring of your words is blocked out and they remain clear as day to him. He manages to hum a deep little "mhm" to your last statement.
"It's just so hard to talk to you sometimes. You... you're so intimidating, sometimes. I don't expect you to understand..." you divert your gaze to his shoulder, not able to look him in the eyes as vulnerability takes sudden control of your emotions. "It seems like I don't appreciate you sometimes—all the time, but I do, Toji. I do appreciate you, and I can't ever say I love you enough to show it. Words aren't always enough."
Toji catches the waver in your voice and his eyes dart to yours. You're tearing up, and you're trying to still your quivering lips by pressing them together.
"Shit," Toji mutters under his breath. You have the saddest expression he's ever seen and it's messing with his heart. He pulls his hands out of your shirt so that he can swiftly pull you into his warm embrace. "Hey," he coos. You're shaking against him, holding your breath to avoid sobbing. Your lungs burn, but you'd rather feel that than make a scene of your tears. "Don't be sad, mama. What's with the tears, hm?" he murmurs. He can feel your tears dampening his shoulder, but the fact that you haven't made a sound is concerning. "Breathe or you'll die," he says, only half joking. He rubs a soothing palm against your back, his other arm around your waist.
You let out what sounds like a mixture between a choked laugh and a sob, slowly but surely regulating your breathing. You don't even feel like saying anything anymore because you know your voice will give way to even more pity.
"You're more than enough for me," Toji says, his chin resting on your head. "I know how you feel, you know how I feel. We're complete." He can feel the way you scrunch his shirt up into your fists. As if he would go anywhere without you. "I get you and you're stuck with me. Got it?" You silently nod against his shoulder in response. "Sit up and let me look at you."
You really don't want him to see you this way. Your eyes feel swollen and you don't feel presentable.
"I can't..." you say, barely audible. You release his shirt and let your hands go limp behind him.
"Why not?"
"I'm not pretty right now. Don't look at me."
"I'm gonna look at you," he challenges with a teasing grin.
"Toji, don't look at me."
"Too late, it's happening. Plan's already in motion," he says, sliding his arms onto your shoulders.
"Toji, don't-" He effortlessly pushes you off his shoulder and gives you a once over. You look defeated and you're unable to look him in the eyes, but at least he can see you now.
"Don't know what you were so worried about. You look the same but more blush-y." You finally give him your slightly reddened eyes, a soft smile appearing on your face. You look like your sober self. "Yeah, you look the same."
"Are you lying?" You ask, still not regaining the full strength of your voice yet.
"I wouldn't tell you if I was, but no, i'm not lying. You're so pretty." Toji wiped away tears that were stuck beneath your eyes, and you giggled. He washed away your sadness within a couple minutes. Toji always did this for you in exchange for your love and affection. He lifted your spirits when you didn't feel deserving of him, and with time, he got much better at recognizing the signs that came with this ridiculous idea you planted in your head.
"You're done loving on me? Already?" He asks in playful disbelief.
"You're not done with me? Do you actually want more?" You ask, hesitantly.
"Don't want more, I need more," he corrects, returning his hands to their rightful place on your waist. "Get all up on me, princess."
You giggle, leaning closer towards him to peck a kiss onto his cheek.
"Mhm, like that," he says, contently, when you pick up the pace and start smothering him. "Yeah, baby, there you go." His forearms go beneath your shirt, encircling around your bare waist and pulling you close to him like before. "Who's getting spoiled like me?" He says through a grin. You're holding back laughs as he continues to praise you for your affection.
"S-Stop," you say through a wheeze, not able to contain the sound any longer when you looked at him.
"What are you laughing at, huh?" He chases you this time, pressing his nose into your cheek before planting a light kiss into your jaw.
"You're so unserious," you say, turning your head as he keeps going with the kisses.
"Mmm... I'm serious about you," he says, feeling the vibration of your laughter against his grin. "So serious."
Your cheeks feel incredibly hot from how much you've been smiling. In this little drunken haze, things are so good. You're so happy, you're so affectionate, and you talk so much. This isn't like you at all, but it's not hurting anyone, especially not Toji. There was one minor slip, but you moved past it so quickly like the words never left your head to begin with. You're just so simple... so easy to take care of.
Toji notices the way your eyes are starting to lid with tiredness, and while he would love for you to doze off in his arms right then and there, you'd probably prefer waking up in a bed.
"Let's go to bed, yeah?" He suggests.
"What? No! I just got here... We can still talk, and kiss and- I'm not even tired."
Toji grins at the way you fight him on this, and he has half a mind to indulge you when you look so adorable, but he has to stand his ground. He's right.
"But, you are. You can't even hold your eyes open, anymore."
You feel sad again because the rest of the night would be going to waste if you both go to sleep early. You're there to spend time with Toji, and yet you feel like it's your fault your time is being cut short. You're thinking you shouldn't have drank the wine so quickly, if at all.
"Listen, doll," Toji says. He doesn't like the sadness that resurfaces on your pretty face. He doesn't think you should look that way because of him. "We're just gonna go lay in bed. We don't have to go to sleep. We can stay up as long as you want. Light on or light off, whatever you wanna do, let's just move it to the room."
You sigh, still not completely convinced that the night isn't over, but Toji managed to persuade you. "Will you carry me, please? My legs feel like jelly."
"Of course. What kind of person would I be if I let you stumble into the room on your own?"
You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, your face buried into the crook of his neck. "You'd still be my favorite person, but i'd be a little upset..."
Toji stands from the couch, humming in response to your quiet mumbles.
"...but not really upset. Just a little bummed. Not for too long, though, 'cause I love you, but I would expect an apology from you if I fell down," you draw out.
Toji cracks at your little ramblings. It's a ten second walk from the couch to the bedroom, and the whole time you were working through a hypothetical conflict.
"Yeah? You'd want me to say sorry?" He asks, setting you down on the bed.
"Mhm, and then I wouldn't be upset or bummed anymore," you mutter to yourself as you roll onto your back.
"That's fair. Want the light on or off?"
"Off," you blurt. "Let's tell scary stories," you trill, enthusiastically. You pull the blanket over your lower body until it reaches just below your chest.
Toji makes his way to the bed after turning off the light. He takes his shirt off, and out of habit lets it fall to the floor. "We're not telling scary stories this late at night," he says, joining you beneath the blanket.
"But, they're funny," you say, turning to face him. "I don't get scared, either."
"Depends on who's telling the story. I'm sure as hell not gonna feed you a nightmare, doll."
"Boo," you say, lowly. "Whatever, i'm over it already," you mutter, rolling your eyes.
Toji watches you grow more and more tired as you throw random, nonsensical topics at him. You're taking longer to respond by the minute, and you're dozing off while humming in thought. You shake awake each time it happens and try to keep the conversation going, but Toji just shushes you and tells you to go back to sleep.
"I can see the moon through the window," you mumble, looking past him.
"I know, shh..." he hushes you, again.
"There's only like... one star," you whisper, in awe.
"Baby, come here," Toji says, like he's about to lecture you about the rules of sleep, but really he's just thinking that if his body heat doesn't put you down, he's gonna have to stay up with you until you fall asleep on your own.
You scoot closer towards Toji, tucking your arms into your chest when he reaches out to pull you into him the rest of the way. His body exudes so much warmth, you feel like you don't need the blanket at all.
There was nothing left for you to say when you couldn't see or feel anything but him. It was as if you were gone the second he enveloped you in his arms. You were small to the brink of nonexistence, no longer there to tell him what your surroundings were, or to ask him thoughtless, silly questions. You were no longer there to fight off the sleep he only seemed to bring closer towards you. Feeling his warm skin against you made you change your mind about this invisible fiend that was pulling your eyelids down. You now welcomed the calls to rest from your steady heartbeats.
Your silence gave him the answer he needed, but for good measure, he poked at you with a whisper of, "Ma?" and waited a few seconds for your response. Nothing. He sighed and coiled around you tighter. Thoughts of the night ran through his head. Your soft, yet, occasionally bruising kisses and the imprints of your teeth on his skin, your unapologetic laughter, your certainty in using the pet names that claimed him as yours. He was weak for the amount of times you openly told him you loved him. It was a psychedelic dream, to say the least. One he hoped would continue once he followed you into slumber.
You woke up hours later, completely smothered by your bear of a man. All you could do was stare up at the ceiling, while you waited for Toji to wake up because he was literally breathing down your neck. His arm rested over your chest, his legs were tangled with yours, and his face was right beside your face. You weren't feeling the effects of the wine anymore, and luckily, you didn't have a headache or any signs of a hangover. You were back, which meant...
"What are you staring at?" A deep, raspy voice jolts you out of your thoughts.
You look at the handsome face next to you, and as if your heart can hear and see, it wakes up. "Nothing. Just woke up," you lie.
"Mm... you were staring hard at the roof. I thought it came to life or something," Toji chuckles. You smile, briefly, before looking at the ceiling again.
Toji releases you and flips onto his back, wanting to know what's so fascinating about the space you're looking at. "What are you thinking?" He asks, when he discovers nothing but blank space.
You take your time, not wanting to stumble over your words. Your heart skips a beat when he turns his head to look at you. In the time it takes for you to respond, you both could have gone back to sleep again.
"A penny for your thoughts?" he finally says, following the idiom with a question. "Did I even use that correctly?"
You can't help but laugh, nodding your head to answer his question. "I'm thinking about last night. Sorry if I said anything stupid."
Toji turns his body towards you again, thinking the only thing that's stupid is that he's still staring at the roof instead of staring at you. "You didn't. You were calm, from what I got to see, at least."
"So... boring."
"Not boring," he instantly catches. "You were perfect. You didn't have me running around chasing you, you weren't a brat—it couldn't have gone better, ma." He purposely missed something in his less than brief recount of the night to you. He can think back to the emotions that seeped through your little daze, and your insecurity about outwardly showing him love, all he wants, but there's no way in hell he's bringing that up to you, now. "You ramble a lot," he adds, a soft smile emerging on his face.
You can feel your cheeks warming up. "Oh god," you groan in embarrassment. "That's not- Sorry, that sounds... not so fun. Annoying of me, actually."
"Stop, it was cute," he assures, adding more fury to the blush creeping on your face. "Then you wouldn't go to sleep 'cause you kept seeing stuff outside the window."
You wanted to drown yourself in the blanket. Shame and embarrassment were winning their battle against you, as always.
"That was also cute," he says, watching the way your lips twitch as you bite back a smile. "You know my favorite part, though?" He says, grinning as he leans towards your ear.
"N-No, what?" You ask, trying so hard not to giggle.
"When you kissed me and told me you loved me," he murmurs into your ear like it's a dirty secret.
You snicker, the short sound of amusement evolving into laughter within seconds. You throw the blanket over your face and partially over Toji's face. The sight of your veiled body shaking with laughter lured out a couple chuckles of his own.
"That's funny?" He asks, pulling the blanket down, allowing you to see the sly grin he's sporting.
"A little bit," you respond, smiling— a remainder of your laughter.
"Silly girl. Come here," he says, dragging you back into his arms. There's no reason you should be awake at six in the morning on your day off. "Let's go back to sleep," he murmurs into the crown of your head. "We can go out for breakfast, later."
"Okay," you mumble, eyes shut already as you embrace the natural warmth of his body.
"One more thing," he murmurs. You don't raise your gaze, but your ears are open and you're listening closely. "Tell me you love me."
You didn't expect that, but you weren't going to deny him of such a simple thing. The words were easy to recite because you meant them with every fiber of your being. "I love you, Toji," you comply, immediately.
He sighs, contently, almost like hearing those words revitalized him. "Love you, too, mama."
That went out to every version of you.
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blkkizzat · 1 day
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❛ MY SHORTY ALWAYS ON SOME BULLSHIT LIKE CHICAGO ❜
PART 2
part of the 420 'We Be Burnin' series
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⋙ MENU ITEM: PLUG!CHOSO x SORORITYBRAT!READER ⋙ PART 1 | PART 2 (IN STOCK NOW!!) | PART 3 (coming soon!)
⋙ product description (summary): okay so you finally realized how badly you fucked up. but is it too late? will choso even talk to you now? has he moved on for good or is it that you now have to worry about someone else moving onto him? ⋙ side effects (tw): more drama. more angst. teasing. jealousy. thirsting. mentions of sex and oral sex. intoxication with drug & alcohol use. sending nudes. y/n is still a brat. bitchy sorority sisters. party culture. ⋙ thc levels (wc): 8.2k ⋙ inventory notes (a/n): best viewed in dark mode. i appreciate y'all liking this sm hope you don't mind i split this up more, but the second part was getting too unruly in length lol
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Plug!Choso who you thought forgetting about would be relatively easy. Overwhelmed with the sheer amount of new presidential duties, you had no shortage of various meetings to keep you occupied. Even so, Choso had a way of popping into your mind as the most routine things would remind you of him. 
Yet now you couldn’t even go get a fresh set of nails without expecting to see his tinted blacked-out sedan parked outside waiting for you. Scrolling socials had also become annoying as you’d see a post and immediately want to send it to Choso— your sorority sisters would think you were gross if you sent them mukbang videos. You couldn’t even bake anything anymore, especially anything chocolate, without reminding yourself of how much Yuji hated nuts in his chocolate chip cookies. 
Or even now when you had been walking across campus with your sisters and chatting about the massive proposal plan of next year’s activities. A daunting task on its own which you had to submit to your national chapter by the end of the month. In fact, there were a lot of tedious things you realized you’d now be responsible for as president. 
However, all of that flew out of your mind when a car sped by blasting a familiar rock song— one that Choso always played. 
Stopping in your tracks you whipped your head around but the music was coming from a completely different car. The disappointment in your chest felt like you were suffocating.
The song was the first one from Choso’s ‘stoner emo boy playlist’ that you’d actually admitted you liked so he made sure to play it whenever you came around. You didn’t think you were official enough to have a song, it felt like you did when you’d heard it just now. 
Although what pained you more in the moment was the fact Choso hadn’t even bothered to text you since the day of the brunch. Your pride and guilt kept you from texting him initially but after the first week you caved and did what you once thought was unthinkable— texting a guy first. 
You’d thought he’d answer instantly, happy you’d finally forgiven him for nearly ruining your brunch and you did want to apologize for missing Yuji’s game. But when 20 minutes turned into an hour and an hour turned into the entire day you realized he was ignoring you.
Choso was a dealer. 
He always had his phone on him. In fact, Choso used to respond to you so fast you wondered if he’d always kept your messages up on his screen.
The seriousness hits home when more of your texts go unanswered as the days go by. 
You huffed. 
Two weeks had passed since you first reached out and apparently Choso was still giving you the cold shoulder. Unconsciously chewing on your manicured french tips, your intrusive thoughts from painting the absolute worst scenarios. 
This was around the time of day he’d usually be on campus and you’d meet up in the empty garage. 
Would he be there now doing another deal? 
Or giving ‘discounts’ to another girl?
You shook your head. Choso wasn’t like that. 
You knew he wasn’t. Then again he had stuffed your guts in less than 10 minutes of knowing each other.
But you were the exception right? Choso wouldn’t move on just like that, would he? 
Rejection wasn’t something you had dealt with often in your life or well, ever. 
You’d gotten everything you wanted since you were little whether it was something you worked for or something given to you. 
So what if you didn’t have Choso?
You should be content with life. 
You had everything you’d ever wanted right now. 
You were pretty, got damn near perfect grades and now had the title of sorority president for fuckssake! 
Meeting someone like Choso was never part of your plans and didn’t fit into them either, so you had never really considered what the both of you were to be anything long-term. 
Nor did you ever stop to consider what he thought of your relationship. 
You thought he’d lick his wounds for a few days and forgive you. However with each passing day the thought he might really be done with you sinks in more and more.
Regardless of the legion of frat guys who would jump at the chance to date you, the only guy you really wanted right now apparently wanted fuck all to do with you. 
Ok so maybe you deserve the silent treatment. 
A lot. 
You never been that big of a bitch to him before. But you really had panicked when he showed up out of the blue with your parents on the way! Also if he didn’t go and threaten the DJ like he did???
You sighed. 
No, even under more peaceful circumstances the end result was you weren’t going to leave to go to Yuji’s game. You couldn’t blame him for being furious with you as you knew how protective he was of his younger brother but you at least wish he’d hear you out.
Just for one last time and maybe you could make it up to Yuji too? 
Get him a nice gift for missing his little league game and bake him chocolate chip cookies—without the nuts. You wanted to hear him adorably ramble on which would always be accompanied by animated hand movements while he gave you the rundown. Yuji often even roped in Choso, who would be all too happy to play whatever role or prop Yuji needed him for. 
Their identical grins, goofy and filled with joy never failed to put a smile on your face. A smile which came easy as there was never any demands put on you when you were with them. No pretending for the sake of appearances, no worrying about social standing and no expectations for favors. 
With them you were just you and they had accepted you.
But had you accepted them? 
Shit. 
Yeah you had fucked up big. 
You knew you needed to talk to Choso and If you weren’t all but certain Choso would slam the door in your face, you’d have half a mind to go pop up at his house. 
Although maybe if Yuji ans—
“—-Like HELLO!? Earth to Prez!”
Your train of thought abruptly comes to an end when one of your sorority sisters— Brianna— rudely snaps their fingers in your face. 
Bitch. 
She’d been bitter ever since she’d lost the presidency to you. 
Elections were over so you didn't have to worry about staying on everyone's good side like you had been doing for the last 3 years of being super sweet and non confrontational. Even so, snatching up a fellow sister certainly wouldn’t make a good impression for a newly appointed president.
“What IS it Brie!?” 
Turning to face her you had no choice but to keep your cool.
“Don’t give me attitude! You’re the one not paying attention, space case.”  
Brianna huffed accusingly. 
“Yeah, Brie’s kinda right Prez, you’ve been a little bit distracted lately.” 
Another one of your sisters chimed in—immediately looking down when your eyes narrowed on her.
“Don't tell me the pressure is already getting to ‘Little Miss Legacy'? Or—”
Brianna flips her hair with a sly smile before continuing.
“—is it just that you miss your burnout stalker boy?” 
“E-Excuse me!?”
Extremely disarmed by the allegation, you were not expecting in a million years the very person you were thinking of to be brought up like this by Brianna of all people. 
“You know—you’ve been acting off since the brunch a few weeks ago and we used to be practically swimming in za—way more o’s than we paid for. You must have been doing something to get all that from that future convict and he must be pretty pissed with you if you haven’t been able to get anymore since.”
The rest of your sisters were gagged at the accusations Brianna was tossing your way as it was  true that your supply had been dwindling. Their eyes darted between the two of you but mostly focused on you waiting for your response. 
You ignore them though as all your ire was on Brianna.
This whore had some fucking nerve speaking about Choso like that. 
The thought of knocking the smug look off Brianna’s face is almost too tempting —presidency be damned. 
Yet this time your own guilt stops you.
Too little, much too late for you to be standing up for Choso now the way you had dismissed him so harshly in front of Brianna and the rest of your sisters just a few weeks ago. You could only be mad at yourself, your own actions showed them how to treat Choso.
That didn’t mean you were going to let her get away with it without a proper lashing though. 
“Listen—Brie, Little Miss Legacy is busy juggling the presidency, a 3.8 gpa, volunteer work and planning every goddamn sorority event worth attending. As for you? Well I heard you’d been pretty busy these days juggling your creepy ass T.A. Noaya’s balls because you were going to fail Biology again for the third time—so do you really want to talk about pressure or whose fucking whom for what?”
Standing up for yourself wasn’t something you ever did in an effort to be likable and so Briana—as well as the rest of your sisters—were stunned into silence. 
Even if her fucking for grades had been no secret, it wasn’t something anyone talked about out loud and yet you’d gladly air her out again for insulting Choso.
“Urgh, whatever! Anyways while you were daydreaming we were planning Jeremy's birthday party on Saturday.”
You rolled your eyes at the inattention to some random frat guy’s bday being the reason for this whole confrontation.  
“Oookay and—?”
“—and we need you to get some more za from your stalk— er um, I mean your plug...” 
Brianna quickly corrects herself seeing your eyes flare.  
“Jermey wants a joint filled pinata and don’t have nearly enough right now to roll all those joints.”
You suck your teeth in annoyance. 
Of course it all had to come back around to Choso.
“I’m not talking to him right now. We’ll find someone else.” 
Well it was half true, more like he wasn’t talking to you. 
You tried not to pout and completely give yourself away at how much it really was affecting you you.
“Well start again, Prez! You know his stuff is the best!”
“We already promised everyone we’d have it!” 
“Please Prez!”
The rest of your sorority sisters chimed in.  
“Yeah Prez it shouldn’t be a problem. Send him an ass pic or something, I bet he would respond to that.” 
The rest of your sisters giggled in agreement. 
Little did they know you had already sent Choso nudes 8 days ago, which when you checked Snap last just 10 minutes ago he still hadn’t opened yet. 
You’d die before admitting that though.
“Fine. I’ll figure it out.” 
“Knew you would Prez!” 
Brianna tossed you a fake smile as she turned around and your sisters followed suit walking back towards the sorority house. The chatter now moves on to drink options as the previous conversation is instantly forgotten. 
You still flip the bitch off behind her back though before you catch up to join the conversation lest these dumb bitches skimp out on drinks for more decorations and have you all drinking Monarch vodka again—gross, much more so than a mukbang video.
Plug!Choso who later that night has you laying on your bed staring at your phone suspended over you, your finger hovering over the send button. 
What if he ignored you this time too? 
Worse—what if he had finally blocked you?
Well all your messages had gone through so far even though his read receipts were off. 
Choso hadn’t blocked you yet. 
Only two days had passed since you last texted him but scrolling through your history the wall of blue taking over the entire screen had you feeling vexed.
Hadn’t Choso punished you enough? 
Biting your lip in apprehension you hit send. 
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You almost dropped your phone on your face. Sitting up in your bed you stare at his text incredulously as the sticker shock of Choso jacking up the price by $150 hits you.
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You deserved that, you supposed. 
But fuck you knew you’d have to come up out of pocket yourself for the extra and you couldn’t admit to your sisters why the price had gone up so much again.
At least he was answering you though. 
You threw your phone across your bed. 
Well that went super. 
You’d hope you’d have the chance to talk about things while he was responding to you, maybe get him to video call you? You knew he still wouldn’t be thrilled with you but you didn’t expect his responses to be that short once he finally answered. 
Choso always over texted you if anything, sending paragraphs at times so these clipped messages were like tiny daggers pricking you with each one you received.  
You didn’t think you could handle him being mean to you like this for much longer. 
Getting a taste of your own medicine fucking sucked.
With a sigh you had decided to push it to the back of your mind. It was Tuesday and he wasn’t even coming until Friday.
That’s when you realized Choso implied he was coming to you. 
As in your sorority house. 
On Friday. 
The night of the Barbie’s Dreamhouse Kegger. 
Goddamnit.
Plug!Choso who shows up to your sorority house on Friday night just before midnight when the kegger is at its peak. Choso doesn’t give a single fuck this time around that he sticks out like a sore thumb with his dark tattered jeans, matching leather jacket, heavy eyeliner and metal piercings amongst all the colorful and peppy pastel attired party-goers. 
Choso waltzes right through the front door like he owns the place.
“Oh! It's you! Finally!” 
Flipping her hair behind her to show off her ample cleavage, your sorority sister Brianna bounces over to Choso who continues to look past her as his eyes scan the foyer.
To be honest he wasn’t even sure she was talking to him until she mentioned you.
“You’re the plug, right? Choso? Here for Prez, hmm?” 
Brianna appraised Choso with a flirty glance and a smile. 
“I’m Brianna, but everyone calls me Brie. She’s outside with her boys! I’ll take you there, kay?”
Her boys?
Brianna batts her eyes sweetly to complement her peppy demeanor. 
Choso simply nods, appearing unphased as Brianna grabs him by the arm of his jacket to lead him through the sea of people crowding the hall and out to the backyard. The very same backyard where you had rejected and humiliated him to save your own superficial social standing just a few weeks ago. 
Of course he hadn’t forgotten. 
Choso noted this time though the expansive yard had a completely different vibe from the pretentious scene he’d walked into before. The backyard was now filled with pink inflatable decorations and rose gold plastered party supplies, trading the expensive crystal for matching pink solo cups and decorative flower displays for shotskis. 
Yet Choso’s comparisons end once he finally spots you in the crowd. 
Playing beer pong with some frat fucks, carefree like you had zero concerns (or thoughts of him) in the world as you taunted your opponents. 
Choso’s eyes narrow when you—clad in a scandalously small pink sparkly tube top—brought a dainty manicured nail to your chest and seductively dragged it down your cleavage to tug at the hem of the fabric. The tops of your tits swell over the edge of the material provocatively as you tease the chance they might altogether spill out onto the table if you pulled any lower.
The plan worked and your opponents thoroughly distracted missed their shots much to your amused squeals and Choso’s growing irritation. His brow twitched as he noticed the rest of your outfit which barely provided any more coverage. 
The matching mini skirt you wore rested low enough on your curvy hips to show the very edges of your thong but high enough on your thighs that your cheeks were nearly peeking out just from the slight bend you took as you aimed to take your next shot. Your pink jeweled belly ring (that he’d bought you) and gem adorned nude fishnets lead down to chunky hot pink glitter pumps only calling more attention to your lower half as they were illuminated by the outdoor tiki lights.
Why were you dressed like such a slut and letting those greasy shitheads drool all over you? 
Your beer pong partner was clearly exaggerating his drunkenness for an excuse to feel you up as his hand rested dangerously close to the top of your ass as you took your next shot. 
Were you that clueless?
Choso’s jaw clenches as you allow yourself to be pulled in by the shoulder tits first into a celebratory hug after landing a cup off a bounce, thus removing two. The way you’d casually let those assholes gawk and grab at you when you wouldn’t even make eye contact with him in public pisses him off like none other and reminds him why he had decided to cut you off after all.
This time though Choso doesn’t march over, masking his resentment with nonchalance as he considers leaving altogether. 
Sure he needed the money—but it wouldn’t make or break him in the long run. 
Keeping the big picture in mind, Choso had Yuji to think of and he couldn’t afford to catch a case over your slutty ass in case he actually gave into the urge to knock some random frat fucker’s teeth out.
Yet Choso switches his attention back to Brianna when she returns with a beer filled cup for him and her sheer top unbuttoned even lower. 
Oh? 
Choso grins. 
Plug!Choso who you finally notice standing near the back door of your sorority house next to—Brianna?!…urgh! 
Her obnoxious high-pitched laughter loudly cut even through the music and party chatter to draw your attention over. 
What the hell was Choso even doing with her?! 
You grit your teeth as Choso takes the drink. You watch him as he reclines against the house and cheered cups together. Brianna is twirling her hair innocently as she flirts with him, giggling like an idiot. 
One without an ounce of shame at that. 
You seethe as she clutches onto his bicep pulling herself closer and resting her tits on his arm when she pretends to momentarily lose her balance. 
Stupid cunt ass bitch. 
You know it's just to spite you too. 
Of course Brianna still didn’t know of the true nature of your relationship with Choso for certain but a backstabbing whore like her would try to fuck him solely off an inkling. 
If anything just so she could say your ‘stalker’ was now hers.
She was just using him! Did Choso not see that?! 
Your beer pong partner slides his arm around you to tell you it’s your turn again but you don’t even spare him a backwards glance as you shrug him off. Abandoning the game and ignoring his puzzled calls after you. 
Truthfully it doesn’t even register as you are on your warpath with Choso and Brianna in your sights, stomping directly towards them like you were on a mission. You were too, as far as you were concerned, determined to break that shit up expeditiously. 
Especially now as you see Brianna airdropping her contact info to Choso.
Stopping directly in front of them you’re far too tipsy to prevent your souring mood from spreading all over your face when they both seem to not notice you right away.  
You loudly clear your throat.
“AHEM!”
Staring at Choso expectantly your lip curls when it's Brianna who greets you first instead.
“Oh Prez, my B girly! We didn’t notice you there!” 
“Whatever, Brie.”
You sneer at her. 
Although Brianna only giggles again, feigning innocence and leaning into Choso a bit more. 
The whore was still touching up on him.
“I was just keeping Cho here company until we found you.”
Bullshit, they were searching fo– Hol’ the fuck up—CHO?! 
Did this whore just call him Cho?! 
That was your fucking nickname for him! Only you and Yuji were allowed to call him that!
Oh Brianna was just begging for that ass whooping, dying for it even. 
Swaying on your feet, your buzz only intensifies your anger and folding your arms in front of you serves two purposes at the moment: 
To keep your balance as you try to prevent your heels from sinking into the grass— but more importantly— because the urge to yank a bitch was escalating to the point your hands were now twitching. 
You had drank way too much in your nervousness waiting for Choso.  
You thought a quick round of beer pong would settle your anxieties as you’d been hanging out near the front door all day and night not knowing when he’d show up. However time had slipped away from you and one game had turned into three. 
You didn’t even really know the guys you were playing with, just some random freshman!
Of course once you finally let your guard down Choso would not only show up but be hanging out with your biggest opp!
But what really had you about to crack—Choso was taking his sweet time in acknowledging you as he appeared to be more concerned with checking Brianna’s contact info than speaking to you right in front of him. “Ight, got it.” 
Choso confirmed and slid his phone back into his jacket before pulling out a joint as he finally made eye contact with you.
THE FUCK!? HE ACTUALLY SAVED IT?! 
Plug!Choso who stares at you with a condescending smirk as his eyes twinkled with sadistic amusement before exhaling smoke towards the sky.
You bite your cheek to hold back your angry tears, you weren’t about to give Brianna the satisfaction. She could fuck right the hell off as far as you were concerned, only wanting to speak to Choso who was currently looking at you like you were the one interrupting something.
“W-Why didn't you text me you were here?! I would have come outside!” 
Your words fumble out of you drunkenly, not sounding one bit as smooth and unbothered as you hoped.
“For why tho? Don’t you have me silenced anyway, Prez?”
You stiffened. 
Even if he wasn’t silenced right now you couldn’t deny you had previously silenced him before the last few weeks of trying to get him to talk to you. 
“Yea figured—so thought it’d be best to come inside…”
Choso exhales smoke through his nose this time, leering down at you as he passes the joint to Brianna who eagerly takes it.
“You really think I’m still tryna wait for you?”
Choso’s words are crushing as the double meaning behind them is not lost on you. Parting your glossed lips you couldn’t even form a sentence as your mouth had gone completely dry.
Brows raised Choso is practically daring you to challenge him. 
But you’re frozen. 
Ironic, because his eyes are all but intensely burning into yours as his accusingly cruel question penetrated you like a hot knife to butter. 
However, bringing you back, Brianna interrupts the moment—because of course she does—not being able to read the damn room nor handle the attention being away from her for 5 fucking seconds.
“You know Prez… You’re going to be pretty busy with all your responsibilities soon...”
Brianna taps her stiletto shaped nail to her lips in faux contemplation. Her smarmy expression gives away her true intentions resembling every bit of the evil bitch she is. 
“...Annnnnd it won’t look good for our lovely new president to put herself at risk by getting us drugs, right? Sooooo, I was telling Cho here how I’m going to be the one taking over for you now.”
Brianna coyly tucks a few loose strands of her long tawny locks behind her ear. 
“Who knows? I might be able to get a better discount than you too.”
Passing the blunt back to Choso she winks at him. Choso merely chuckles, shaking his head at the implications before taking another hit.
And yeah that’s what fucking did it alright.
More than ready to give Brianna exactly what the fuck she’d been asking for you wordlessly lunge forward to snatch her up by those raggedy ass microlink extensions she couldn’t stop touching.
However your trajectory is thrown when you feel Choso grab you by your wrist. Pulling you in towards him, the action confused both you and Brianna—who didn’t know how close she was to actually kissing dirt.
Choso passes the joint back to Brianna, telling her to keep it as a ‘sample’ he turns his attention back towards you.
“Come on Prez, I got places to be. Get me my money now before I charge your ass the full stack.”
You both leave Brianna standing there dumbfounded as Choso drags you back into the house. 
Plug!Choso guides you through the crowd of your sisters that are all now much too drunk and self-involved in their own good time to care about the pierced n’ scary dark haired man towing their president behind him. 
Reaching the staircase Choso motions for you to go ahead of him and you nod dumbly as you obediently climb the stairs trying not to trip. 
Urging you along, Choso is right on your tail— quite literally, as he tries to simultaneously avoid staring at your ass cheeks jiggling out from under your skirt—but more importantly tries to keep any other wandering eyes below from getting a peek as well. 
Choso places a hand on your waist, both to keep you from falling and to move you along quicker. Warm tingles radiate out from where his hands touch your bare skin yet he instantly releases you once you reach the top.
You can’t help but to pout at the loss of contact.
“Which one?”
Choso still feels all business though as he walks ahead of you like he can’t wait to wrap this up and get you the fuck out of his life again.
Plug!Choso who you usher into your room before closing the door. The party seems distant as only the faint sounds of the base bumping against the walls reach the sanctuary of your room. Still holding the knob you’re leaning with your back against the doorframe as your body is still pumping insane amounts of adrenaline through you. 
Nearly fighting Brianna, Choso finally touching you, on top of being drunk had your mind going into overdrive especially since it seemed like Choso would leave as soon as the deal was over.
Would he really take the money and go just like that?
Choso’s face is unreadable as he strolls deeper into your room and casually looks around. You had always come over to his place and he would have never in a million years dreamed of being able to see your room in your actual sorority house. 
It was so you though. 
Tidy and adorned in your favorite colors, your walls are decorated with pictures of celebrities, friends and various moodboards. Not to mention it smelled like you. The scent of your sugary perfume with notes of vanilla and saffron assaulted Choso's senses making it seem a bit warmer in the room than it actually was.
“Yo Prez, the money.” 
His patience for the situation is dwindling. He has to get out and fast. 
Choso doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t leave soon.
Yet you were plotting the exact opposite and you couldn’t let him leave so easily now that you finally had him alone after all this time. 
Armed with a plan you nod as you scoot by him and over to your vanity to retrieve the cash. Acting clueless as to which drawer you put it in, you search them all as you bend over to check one of the drawers at the very bottom. 
Choso swallows hard.
Your ass–with plenty of curves to spare–is on display for him as well as your sheer pink thong that teasingly pokes out between your crystal studded fishnets. 
You had to be doing this on purpose. 
Swishing side to side your skirt raises up a bit higher with every shift of your hips while your thong strains tighter across the print of your fat pussy lips threatening to snap altogether.
Akin to a seductive pendulum as you sway before Choso completely entrancing him. 
Only you could ever affect him in this way.
After what feels like years do you finally locate the money, a sizable stack of cash composed of 20 dollar bills.
“Found it! In the top drawer all along, imagine that!”
Smirking you plop down in your vanity chair crossing your legs not missing how Choso’s gaze lingered, even if just the tiniest moment, on your thighs.
“Took ya long enough…” 
Choso mumbles. There's no real bite to his words this time though. He’s holding his backpack close to hide his half chub while he removes 3 hefty bags of kush from his backpack to toss on the desk beside you.
Reaching for the cash his annoyance is evident on his face when you jerk away from him. Leaning back and fanning the bills across your chest, you wave them tauntingly in the air.
“Stop playin’ around. Not in the fuckin mood, I swear.”
“Playing?”
You question acting coy.
“This is just business right Choso?”
You sat up as if you were taking this seriously at all and Choso is unamused as he reaches for the money again. 
And you snatch it back yet again like a fucking brat. 
“I’m practically dropping a stack on this–thanks to your new “tax” and all. How do I know if it's any good?”
Clearly your plan is working as you continue to push Choso’s buttons pretending you aren’t excited from him towering over you now.
“Cut the games, Prez. Ya know my shit is always pressure.”
You act contemplative as your eyes lazily travel up his tense muscular form appreciating the view after not seeing him for so long.
“Hmmm, do I though?”
Choso scoffs, growing tired of your games. 
That’s all he ever was to you, a game.
“Like I said, just business. Or are you telling me you weren’t going to count the cash to make sure it's all there before you left?”
Damn. Well you got 'em there. 
Choso rubs the back of his neck before letting out a frustrated sigh.
“Tch—let’s make this quick then, Prez.”
Plug!Choso who after grabbing one of the bags of weed off your vanity takes a seat on your bed. He shrugs off his jacket to retrieve a pipe from the inner pocket and impatiently extends his hand hurrying you with a quick beckoning gesture.
“Gimme your grinder.”
Rolling your eyes you haphazardly toss it over to him. However, unbeknownst to you, the top was loose and crumbles of kush spilled out of it and onto your bed when he failed to catch it.
“Nice looking out Cho, great catch.”
Even though the poor throw and loose top had been your fault, the fact he apparently couldn’t wait to fucking leave along with you still pissed with how he flirted with Brianna makes you lash out. 
“You fucking serious right now? I’m always lookin’ out for your ungrateful ass.”
Obnoxiously you huff, crossing your arms and turning your head away from him.
Ungrateful? For what!? 
He hadn’t been ‘looking out’ for the last month, he’d been completely ignoring you! 
“Heh, like I didn't just stop you from turning that gouda chick into actual cheese from the way you went at her?”
You press your lips together firmly to keep from cracking a smile at his play on Brianna’s nickname. You’re honestly still salty he had even been around her at all getting so chummy. He’d always talked about how stupid your sorority sisters were, it didn’t make sense why he let her flirt with him like that.
You’re also mad he didn’t at least let you pop her one good time.
“The bitches name is Brie. You should know, you were ‘oh so concerned’ about saving her number and giving her a discount.”
Choso looks at you like you’re an idiot as he shakes his head. He stops packing the bowl to throw you his phone.
“Whose number?”
Frowning, you already know the passcode so you unlock it right away. 
Sure enough there was no Brie nor Brianna in his contact lists. Not even her number showed up when you searched his phone for it in case it was under a completely different alias. 
He’d never even saved it. 
The smug smirk on Choso’s face tells you he knew what she was doing all along and got you all riled up on purpose.
In fact, Choso had recognized Brianna’s ploy immediately. You had previously mentioned something about an annoying n’ bitchy rival. 
Besides, there was no other plausible reason for a dumb sorority bitch like her to be talking to him at all—much less throwing herself at him so aggressively.
“Doesn’t feel good now does it, Prez?”
Your face is on fire and you turn away from Choso totally humiliated. You had played right into his hands.
“Hmph! Don’t get cocky, I wanted a reason to beat her ass anyway.”
You puff your cheeks into a pout that Choso can’t help but to chuckle at, shaking his head at you again. 
You were a huge brat that's for damn sure.
“Well, it certainly looks like you found one.”
You’re quiet finally as you rake over his words in your mind. 
‘I’ve always been looking out for you.’
Not only did he not save Brianna’s number there’s a high probability he just kept you from being kicked out of the entire sorority and maybe school too. Fighting was a huge no-no and you could have gotten expelled. Apparently jealous with rage you were ready to risk it all at that moment without even thinking of the consequences. 
Fuck.
Choso had in fact still been looking out for you—even when you didn’t deserve it. 
Plug!Choso who accepts your silence is a sign of your defeat and after a few minutes you move from your desk to sit next to him on your bed as he finishes grinding and packing the bowl. 
“Brats get greens this time.”
I’m paying a premium for all this shit, I better get greens. 
But you hold in that thought, not wanting to give him any more lip in the moment as you’re the one left licking your wounds this time.
Like a gentleman Choso holds the bowl for you and lights it as you take a hit. He tries not to notice how well your glossed lips are wrapping around the phallic mouthpiece as searingly thick smoke flows into your lungs. 
Damn, this shit was dank as hell. 
You’re doing your best to hold it in but your lungs are burning as you watch Choso take a hit himself. Not being able to keep in your coughs for a second more you’re left signaling at Choso to ‘wait a sec’ when he holds the pipe out back to you.
Fuck, it was even stronger than what you remembered.
“See Prez? True pressure.”
You shrug at him trying to save face although your eyes are watering, already tinting a bright shade of red.
“Uhh duh, I always cough Choso. I’ll still need a few more hits to know for certain.”
Choso rolls his eyes.
You take another hit—a smaller one this time—before slowly falling back onto your bed. ��
Your eyes close as your high settles in and you debate on what to say next without fucking things up even more with your slick ass mouth. 
However your concentration is diminishing quickly as your buzz makes your senses overly aware of Choso’s intense body heat radiating off him, your thighs practically touching. 
The weed swirling together with the alcohol in your system makes you all the more sensitive. Your mind floats away as your gaze is hyper focused on how the lean muscles of Choso’s toned back and broad shoulders ripple under the thin black tee he wears.
God, Choso is so sexy. 
Your legs squeeze together to calm the burning in your core just from the thought. You want nothing more than to drag him down to bed with you and melt into his embrace—but there's an invisible force field around him that you can’t reach. 
You’re almost certain he would recoil from you if you tried now. 
There’s a conversation you needed to have first but you didn’t know how to start it without fucking things up even more. 
The result is an awkward silence that uncomfortably settles in the room as Choso finishes the bowl off himself. 
Never one to smoke too much of his own product he’s only indulging now to temper his mood. 
Choso doesn’t know why he’s still here, all good sense in him telling him to take the money and get the hell out. Yet he knows he’s hoping for something–anything–to show him you’ve changed even though all signs so far tonight have been showing him you haven’t.
You’re still cowering away from any accountability and he is determined not to give you an easy out this time. 
And it’s for that exact reason Choso can’t look over at you right now.
Otherwise he’s sure to see your tiny pink top that had started to roll up exposing the glitter adorned skin of your underboob. Or how your slow exhales cause your soft stomach to dip temptingly showing off the pink crystal belly button ring he gave you. 
The sight of your fishnets brushing against one another out of the corner of his eye alone is enough to know he wouldn’t be able resist grasping onto your supple thighs. God how he would relish the way his fingers would indent into them. He wanted to rip those slutty fishnets right off of you so his head could push your skirt up even further on your hips while he drowned himself in your wet cunt—not even stopping when you would cry from overstimulation.
Plug!Choso, who is thankful his distraction at long last comes in the form of the faded gray blue fabric by your pillow. 
“Yo!..Is that my shit?”
Eyes opening wide, you pale upon seeing Choso reach for the crumpled up shirt. Choso unravels the tee to confirm it is in fact his shirt—one of his favorite band tees at that. 
“Oh, is that yours?”
Choso deadpans.
“So you listen to RHCP now?”
“Maybe…” 
You grab it from him and toss it to the side less you break down and confess to him you had slept in it most nights. Not only have you slept in it but you do in fact listen to RHCP now, especially when you workout.
However with this Choso has hit his limit. 
To him you hadn’t changed. 
Could you not even own up to the tiniest of things?
He couldn’t let himself get sucked back into your toxic web, not anymore. The longer he stayed the more likely that was.
“S’all good, Prez. Keep it.”
Choso grabs his jacket.
“Listen, I gotta g–”
“—w-wait!” 
You grab the other end of his jacket. You still find it difficult to find the right words but you had to say something. 
It was now or never.
“W-Wait… ah, at least before you go…l-let me know how Yuji’s game went?”
You meekly ease into the question but see Choso go ridgid at the mention regardless. 
For now he relents and stays seated. Although a few minutes pass before he speaks.
“He won, of course. MVP of the season.”
You smile genuinely at that but Choso isn’t looking at you— too pained by the memories that began to bubble up again like bile in his throat.
“Awe, that's so great! I knew he would! I’m so happy for him.”
Choso grits his teeth as he turns back to you, his anger evident in his entire being as every muscle in him tenses.
“Are you? So that’s how you treat someone you’re happy for? Really?!”
He doesn’t give you the chance to respond.
“Yuji’s a strong kid— much stronger than me. Honestly, I didn’t even think he minded you weren’t there as he was all focus and excitement to play that day—”
You let out a quiet exhale in relief though any consolation you felt was instantly shattered as Choso continued. 
“But when I put him to bed that night. H-He..He’d asked why you weren’t there…He asked if you were gone now like our parents. Yuji wouldn’t believe you’d miss it otherwise.”
Choso struggles to say the last bit and maintain eye contact with you. 
Every moment you gaze into his eyes though was pure torture as you’re racked with even more guilt.
“Choso I–”
“I’m so fuckin’ tired of all your fuckin’ excuses!”
You’re silent. It’s so strange to see him this upset you don’t know what to say.
“I’d ask you if you’d even considered the abandonment issues that kid already carries but you don’t. You don’t fill that fuckin’ superficial lil’ head of yours with anything beyond yourself!”
Finishing what he had to say, Choso gathers up his jacket and backpack, stuffing it full with the stack of cash on the vanity—not even bothering to count it.
Momentarily dumbfounded, you're scrambling from the bed to block his path. 
“C-Come on, Choso! I didn’t want to abandon him or you! I tried to call you and I texted you so much these past few weeks to talk!”
Choso isn’t impressed.
“And not one text actually had the words ‘I’m sorry’ in it. Not that it would have cut it this time.”
You're reduced to silence for the umpteenth time tonight. 
You wreck your brain knowing most of your texts had been focused on baiting him to respond to you but fuck—did you really not even apologize? 
“But I am sorry!”
Choso’s gaze is cold and distant, so foreign in comparison to the warmth you’d taken for granted before.
“Whatever you say, Prez.”
There it is again. You’ve grown to resent the title, the job, everything about it.
“Just stop calling me that, okay?!”
You’re trying hard to fight back the tears that threateningly pool in the corners of your eyes.
“What Prez? Why, it aint all that they cracked it up to be?”
“N-No… it’s n-not… I actually hate it and I hate being here.”
Your voice is hardly above a whisper as you direct your words towards the ground. You didn't want Choso to see your glassy eyes even if he’d noticed the cracks in your voice. 
Plug!Choso who regards you with skepticism but curiosity nonetheless. So at long last you decided to be honest with both him and yourself aloud for the first time.
But it didn’t mean shit if you wouldn’t do something about it.
“Then quit.”
Choso says to you like it’s the most obvious answer in the world as your head snaps up incredulously.
“H-huh? W-What?!”
“You heard me princess— quit.”
Could you really just quit? 
Truthfully, you had never considered it an option. The expectations put on you by your sorority sisters, your parents and the plans you had made for yourself had all led you to the commitments and responsibilities you had now. 
How could you just let them all down by walking away from it all?  
“Choso— I heard you..b-but I can’t, you don’t understand I–”
“—No, I understand better than you do, princess. You spent so much time with me and Yuji because you hate this sorority bullshit, you can’t stand any of these bitches and now you just agreed to be president of your own goddamn misery!”
Reading you for filth, Choso stares at you expectantly but you avoid his gaze.
Your nails suddenly becoming all the more interesting as you fumble with them.  
“–Ight then.”
Choso doesn’t want to argue with you any longer. 
You’re still full of excuses to his disappointment. If you wanted to be something you weren't that badly, then that was your own prerogative he decided as he brushed past you.
“N-No! P-Please, don’t leave Cho!”
There's clear desperation in your voice. You cling to him, burying your head into the middle of his back as your shaky hands weave their way around his midsection. 
Choso is mid-twist on the doorknob. 
He had all intentions of leaving if you still weren't being honest with yourself about things.
Still does. 
Yet his determination is wavering from your hot tears begin to seep through his shirt and trickle down his spine. The warmth of your body—now flattened against his—causes your pert nipples to poke into his back while your delicate fingers wretchedly grasp onto his taunt abs like a lifeline. 
Like you actually needed him in your life.
Fucking hell, you didn’t play fair at all.
But he couldn’t forgive you just to hurt him again and especially not Yuji.
“Let go.”
“No.”
“I said let go!”
“NO!”
Choso easily pries you off of him, spinning you around as your back slams against the door pinning you in place. His hands encircle your arms and extend out fully so he could put some distance between the two of you. 
He couldn’t think straight when you were all over him. 
Your world is a blur and in your crossfaded state you are left with vertigo at the sudden shift of positions. Both you and Choso are left panting at the intensity of it all.
“You don’t listen to anyone do you?! You just do whatever the fuck you want…”
Choso’s face is red with anger and your eyes—already reddened from your high—take on a deeper shade as you are now openly bawling in front of him.
“Tch, why are you the one crying? This is how you want things, right?!”
You shake your head, unable to communicate beyond your pitiful sobs. 
Choso grows more and more frustrated as the guilt he is feeling battles with his more rational mind prompting him to still be angry with you despite your tears. Back and forth his mind races until it all bubbles over and—
“—You don’t think I know I’m not good enough for you!?”
Your teary eyes widen at the sudden admission. 
Choso even startles himself with his own confession he’d been holding in all this time. 
“But not Yuji...He’s already so much better than me! He’s gonna actually be something one day. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
Your lip quivers and your pleas are almost unintelligible.
“I-I know…m’s-sorry…m-m’so sorry C-Choso!”
Choso exhales deeply and shoulders slump forward as he releases you, running a hand over his face and back through his raven locks.
You couldn't read his expression but you didn't want him to attempt to leave you again as you close the gap between you, arms encircling him once more.
Choso doesn’t push you away, yet to his credit he doesn't return your embrace either as he’s still torn.
“I-I missed y-you so m-much.”
Cursing the hold you have over him Choso can’t deny he still wants to be with you—but you both were at an impasse.
Nothing good would come from repeating the same cycle again. 
There is no resolution if you still want to keep up a front. 
“P-Please forgive me Cho—I-I love you.”
The sweet proclamation is accentuated by your pillowy lips spreading kisses over his chest while the tips of your fingers slip up his shirt to place feather light scratches at the small of his back. 
Love, eh?
An unexpected revelation dawns on Choso and he is now resolved in what he has to do. 
“Yeah princess, you really love me?” 
Oblivious to the danger edging in his voice, you nod as you continue to coo affectionate words and affirmations into his chest. One of your legs hitches around his as you mold yourself deeper into him thinking he’d finally forgiven you. 
Had he forgiven you though? 
Well, not exactly. 
A devious smirk appears across Choso’s features.
Choso had come to the conclusion that at the end of the day you were simply a terrible people pleaser. 
Your stuck up bratty nature was merely a front of false confidence. 
You tried so hard to become whatever anyone else wanted you to be, you'd lie to yourself and become utterly miserable in your efforts to appease those around you. 
However, Choso knew the version of you he’d gotten when you’d been with him and Yuji had been the real you. 
And he actually did believe you loved him— even if you had just forced yourself to say it in the moment so you could manipulate him into staying.
Sympathetic to your pitiful nature, Choso wouldn’t just abandon you. 
But if you couldn’t do what was best for you, he would make sure you would himself.
⋙ ©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.
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⋙ I'm about halfway through P3, its 5.5k already lol. stick with me though cause pt 3 is the nasty brat taming smut we all are waiting for! if i tagged you here i will tag you again for p3 but im still adding new people to tag list so lmk in comments or reblogs if you'd like to be added. trying to focus to finish this but my adhd might distract me into writing a quick gojo fic but if i do i will finish this right after!
⋙tags: (ps ty for all the sweet comments for those who joined my overall writing tag list yall legit had me in tears ilysm!) @nkogneatho @toji-girl-main @RoyaltyAndRoses @aydene @slowlyshycomputer @bontensbabygirl @yoonjinhusbands @anxious-chick @kashxyou @halosdiary @littlemochabunni @ryomens-vixen @buttercupblu @tonycries @lowkeyremi @strawberrygirl0 @crybaby-herbalist @rintcrous @bomboclakkk @anubisisthebomb @alwaysfreakingout @oeanonyme @chrys23 @spltbtch @uranometrias @officialsimpp @crispycatt @purple-obsidian my-jukebox @peachyharts111 @thedorklingqueen @sugurusprettygirl @scarasw1f3 @kgorethz @c1truswh4re @madaqueue
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court-jester-stuff · 2 days
Text
Sharing a room with a not so stranger
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Azriel x reader
Warnings?: reader is shorter than Azriel, not beta we die like suriel, kinda rushed? idk it's 23:54 so meh enjoy
Note: the library is based of off the acropolis and what I image Olympus would look like, so is all the rest of the Day Court. pictures from pinterest
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"So sorry to bother you," a voice said from behind you. "Can I ask you for a favour?" Turning around you came face to face with Elain. She was dressed beautifully, a light pink coloured dress with a corset with flowers embroidered onto it, sleeves of the shoulders with on the shoulders and wrist embroidered the same flowers as the corset. Her hair was loose with a few braids which all had flowers in it. Truly you’d be lying if you said she didn’t look pretty.
“That depends on what the favour is of course.” You answered her with a smile. In all honesty you hoped it would be something entertaining, these past couple of days have been fun here at the Day Court but you were slowly growing bored. This whole event was to celebrate summer solstice, the Night Court was specifically invited by High Lord Helion as a means to grow a stronger alliance. A full two weeks of celebrating and getting to know each other.
Elain looked behind her and when you followed her gaze you could see Lucien standing in the doorway smiling at her and giving her an encouraging nod.
“Would you, by any chance, …” she trailed of looking at me with an air of hesitance. Giving her a little push you asked:
“Would I…?”
Elain sighed a little but finished her sentence. “Would you mind if Azriel and I switched rooms?” She paused to let the words sink in. “I would really like to try giving this a chance and we already asked Azriel and he’s fine with it, but only if you are. And I know you two aren’t all that familiar with each other but I would really appreciate this.”
At last she stopped talking to gage your reaction only to see a little smile on your face. “My dear, I would not mind at all. You two deserve this moment to try and see where this all leads you.” She perked up at your words and you could see Lucien visibly relax in the corner of your eye. “If Azriel is comfortable with this all then I do not mind.”
She thanked you and said that they would be sure to inform Azriel of you agreeing before they both took their leave.
Once they did take their leave you started thinking about what you just agreed to. In all honesty you and Azriel hadn’t really spoken in quite a while. As members of the Inner Circle it was kind of inevitable but that still didn’t change the conversations you had had with him.
He never seemed to speak much, especially not to you. Only during the rare times that he would ask for help with an injury would you two really talk. And even then it was mostly you talking to him about how to take care of the wound even though he has probably done so a million times.
You’d always find him looking at you with deep eyes whenever you’d look up from your work. He never really seemed to take his eyes off of you while you were working. Whether he was guarded or something else you couldn’t quite decide.
Outside of that there were a few conversations you had had with the spymaster. But lately that had started to change. You were in the habit of sneaking away during each social event to lend yourself a moment of fresh air before stepping back into the crowded rooms. However these last couple of, hell, years you always seemed to get the company of a certain shadowsinger wherever you had decided to sneak of to.
Not that you mind, in all honesty you couldn’t deny the pull you felt towards him. Each conversation, each interaction left you yearning for more. You wanted to hear him speak to you, you wanted to know who he was outside of this persona he had been given.
Deciding that you should try to make things easier for the both of you lead to you walking back to the room you previously shared with Elain with the goal in mind of tidying up a bit. Once there you put away any clothing that was lying around, noting that all of Elain her stuff had already been moved.
The room wasn’t big by any means, in fact you and Elain had specifically requested a smaller sized room. There was a wall with a huge window opposite of the door with the bed against the left wall and a couch on the opposite side next to the window.
Once you deemed the room clean enough you realized that the room might be cozy for you and Elain but Azriel would have trouble getting comfortable in the bed were there someone else in it. Deciding that there wouldn’t be enough space on the bed for both you while allowing his wings to rest comfortably and without the fear of accidental touching, you made the decision to move a pillow and blanket to the couch. Moving that what was on the night stand to the little table next to the couch.
A knock on the door made you pause. Assuming that it was either Elain or Azriel you went to open the door, only to be surprised by a smiling Helion.
“High Lord.” You said with a small bow of the head. You’ve always liked the man, he was polite and kind. A bit of a flirt maybe but still aware of boundaries. And he ruled his court exceptionally well.  All people were well taken care of and very rarely did they find themselves in conflict with other courts. Compared to the Night Court which carried the looming darkness of The Court of Nightmares and Hewn City that was very admirable.
“Oh you, there is no need for such titles. Call me Helion, please.” He chuckled a bit at the formality of it all but still kept a smile on his face as he corrected you.
“Well then Helion, is there anything I can help you with?”
His smile widened a little at your question. His eyes sparkling a little. “I heard that you take care of a large portion of all the knowledge that is stored in the Night Courts library, I must say it is quite the collection. One to be proud of.”
Mirroring his smile you replied with a hint of proudness to your voice. “Yes, indeed. I travel a lot and when I do I can’t help but try to take at least one book with me to further the collection you speak so highly of.”
“Well, the Day Court does have quite the library as well and I thought that I could interest you in taking a look around.” He gestured with his hand down the left corridor.
Your gaze followed the direction from his hand before looking back inside the room. Everything seemed in order for when Azriel would arrive. “Is it just down the hallway?” You ask.
He shakes his head with the same smile on his face that has been there since you opened the door. “Why don’t I show you there, it’s a bit of a maze in here.”
You nodded and walked out into the hallway, closing the door behind you before making your way to the library. The empty hallways were filled with easy going small talk between the two of you before you eventually reached the library.
To say that it was beautiful would be an understatement. It was truly breathtaking. It looked like a place where gods would walk, the high ceilings and windows with no glass allowed as much natural light in as possible. The walls were a cream colour with beautiful paintings on the ceilings.
You should remember to tell Feyre so she could come get a look.
The bookcases were white with golden accents, they crowded the entire room except for the space right before the window. Leaving enough space for several couches and a table surrounded by chairs. Even the wood of the furniture was a light colour.
You don’t know how long you simply admired the space but when you turned around Helion was looking at you with a proud smile and a look of admiration on his face.
He clears his throat and says: “It’s beautiful is it not?” You weren’t really sure what to say. It was beautiful but outside of the beauty of it you were also surprised by its sheer size. Maybe it was the lighting but it looked so much more spacious than the library at the House Of Wind.
“It is very beautiful, I honestly don’t really know what to say. The lighting and colours are so much brighter than those of the ones we have. Even the books match the pale colours. And the amount of books here is admirable. This truly is a fine library.”
“Well, I am more than happy to have shown it to you. Please, feel free to look around and spent as much time here as you please. I’m afraid I cannot stay with you for much longer, duty calls, but rest assured that you are more then welcome in this library. Or even my court.”
You smiled slightly at his words and told him you would keep it in mind. It wasn’t for long before he excused himself and left you to your own company.
You roamed around looking for any books that peaked your interest and finally settled on a handful of them. You found another window with seating space, albeit this on smaller, and settled down on the plush couch facing slightly away from the window.
You don’t know how much time you spend sitting there but when you finally looked up from the third book that you were reading you realized that the sun had set and the sky was now adorned with stars. Granted, there weren’t as many or as bright of ones as in Valaris but it was a sight none the less.
Deciding to call it a night you got up and realised just how long you had been sitting in that same position you stretched and gathered the books you had laying around you. Walking up to the desk you left the books there for someone to find in the morning.
The hallways were quiet now, beside your own steps and breathing there as nothing to be heard.
Ones you had made your way back to your room you were very careful while opening the door as to not startle or wake up Azriel.
When the door was open far enough to slip inside you did so carefully, the room was bathed in moonlight and given the light you could see Azriel’s sleeping figure on the bed. He had moved himself fairly far to the window leaving enough space for a second person to lay down next to him if needed.
But you didn’t need to and getting in the bed would mean having to move his left wing out of the way and you weren’t about to touch the one place that Illyrians loathed to be touched.
Quietly making you way to the bathroom you quickly changed into night clothing and treaded very lightly to the couch. You laid down and when you finally settled you felt something twirling itself around your fingers. Looking down you realised it was a shadow. You smiled at it, mouthing good night before it parted from you to return to their master and with that you went off into slumber.
When you woke up again there was not yet any sunlight in the room. You looked over at the clock on the wall above the door and noted that it was almost time for sunrise. You looked over at Azriel realising he was still fast asleep and decided to take one of the books of your little makeshift nightstand before shuffling to the open balcony.
It must be a dream for winged people to be able to simply fly up to their rooms from the outside without having to first enter and walk both the hallways and stairs.
You sat down on a sofa that was located opposite to where the bed stood so you could keep an eye on Azriel in case he were to awake.
Before long the sunrise started, it was truly magnificent. The colours weren’t simply red, pink and yellow. No, you were sure you could make out nearly the entire rainbow from the sky.
You once again felt a little coolness around your fingers which finally prompted you to look away from the scenery.
“Hello you, we meet again.” You smiled softly at it while speaking in a whisper, mindful of the early time. “What are doing over here, hm? Shouldn’t you be guarding your master?”
It moved around your fingers and palm before deciding to return to the figure on the bed. Looking over you realised you had been caught making small talk with a shadow.
From the bed a tired looking Azriel looked at you with eyes of wonder. “Good morning.” You greeted. “You should go back to sleep, it’s still very early.” Which granted it was. Looking at the clock once more you saw that it read six.
He hummed as if in thought before turning his head into the pillows and stretching. His legs coming out from beneath the blanket and his wings stretching wide. They nearly hit the wall on his right from how wide they were.
He relaxed again before letting himself fall back into the mattress. For a bit you thought he had taken your advice but alas he started turning so he could sit up in bed.
His hair was frizzled and stood a little upright. He had dark circles under his eyes and a sleepy look covering his face. He blinked a few times before moving to sit with his legs over the side of the bed. The blanked had fallen and you couldn’t help but look at his chest, the muscles well defined, quite a few scars, some bigger than the others and a tattoo covering the entirety of his upper chest. It looked just like the shadows that had started swirling around him again.
Curling through his hair and around his ear, likely whispering little things they noticed or deemed important enough.
Deciding the stop gaping at the male you moved your eyes back to the other side, the sunset nearly over by now. Even though only a matter of two to three minutes could have one by the sun had risen fast. Likely a Day Court thing. It shone brightly and you could feel it’s light gently ceres your skin.
Feeling a presence nearby you noticed that Azriel had started moving towards you, yawing in the process before settling down next to you in the sofa.
You sat in comfortable silence for a bit before he spoke. “The sunrise is likely the only thing I enjoy about this court.” You smiled gently at his words before looking over at him.
He was looking at the sunrise with a small smile on his face before he turned his attention to you. His eyes seemed to soften a little bit more when they met yours.
“How did you sleep? I heard you come in quite late and you were up early.” He noted with a small furrow of his brow. Although the gentle smile stayed on his face.
“I slept pretty decent actually. I had lost myself in a book in the library so I was back rather late, I am sorry if I woke you.” You replied back, spoken in soft voices.
He assured you that you had not awoken him, rather he himself were still awake.
“I noticed one of my shadows with you this morning, they don't usually do that. Have they done that before? Because I’ll tell them off if they make you uncomfortable, although I must say that it did not seem that way just now.”
You beamed slightly at his words. “I don’t mind at all, in fact they are rather nice.” You smiled a little brighter as some of them immediately darted towards you, some playing with your fingers other roaming around, a few even went into your hair.
Azriel looked slightly startled as they did this. “I think last night while I went to lay down was the first time. Whichever one it seemed to have wanted to come say goodnight to me.” You thought for a bit, admiring them before realisation hit you. “Wait, actually, I think they might have done that before. Back during Solstice a few of them curled around my arm when I passed you. I completely forgot about that.”
You looked over at him and he seemed to be deep in thought, his brow was really furrowed now and his smile was no longer. When he didn’t seem to snap out of it you placed your hand on his wrist.
He blinked in surprise before looking at you hand on him which had him frowning once more.
You removed your hand before clearing you throat. “Sorry, I would have taken your hand but you seem to always shy away when people do that. I shouldn’t have assumed that your wrist would be any different.”
He looked up at you expression unchanging. He opened his mouth to say something right as a knock sounded from the door. You looked over at it before deciding to go over and see who it was. You looked back over at him to see him still staring. You gave him a little smile, after apologizing again you stood up and made your way to the door.
You opened it just after another knock sounded and were surprised to see your own High Lord.
He looked slightly surprised by you before giving a smile. “Well good morning, it seems our dear Azriel is in good hands then.” He chuckled softly, mindful of those still sleeping.
Just as you were about to ask him what was wrong or what he had meant you felt a hand on your waist. While the other grasped the door besides your head.
“Can we help you Rhys?” Azriel sounded kind of agitated, a clear difference from simple moments ago. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was because Rhysand was here or because you touched his wrist.
“Not necessarily, I simply wanted to check in on you both. I had heard from Feyre that Elain and our dear Azzy here had switched rooms.” He said the last part while grinning at you.
Before either of you could say anything else Azriel decided that the High Lord and his brother had overstayed his welcome. “If you aren’t here for a decent reason could you let us be?”
He surprised you with that but the high fea before you seemed unbothered, maybe even pleased.
“Of course, of course. I wouldn’t want to bother you two. Remember that meeting we have at nine.” He barely finished speaking when Azriel pulled you back into him begore closing the door.
You both stood there for a moment until you decided to turn around. Only then did you notice how close he really was and how very bare his chest still was.
After a second of standing in a daze staring at his chest and tattoo you seemed to come back to reality when you moved backwards a step, which in turn caused your back to hit the door. You looked up and Azriel followed your step until his arm was pressed into the door above your head.
He leaned in slightly while you tilted your head upwards to try and look at him properly. If you didn’t know better you’d say he was blushing.
“I don’t mind you touching my wrist. Or my hand.” He paused while looking at you. He leaned in even more, noses nearly touching. “I never mind when it’s you.”
You both held eye contact between each other until his gaze flicked over your face as if searching for something. Eventually he pulled away and you smiled at him, hoping he couldn’t hear the loud drumming of your heart.
Later you found yourself once again in the library. Azriel left at eight, presumably for the meeting Rhysand was talking about. And given that you were once again alone in your room and that you could read the books you had with you you could read another time you decided to return to the library.
A good portion of the day had passed, before you knew it the empty plate upon which the dinner that one of the helpers had given you had been cleared and replaced with coffee.
You finished yet another book and decided to try and find a book you had been looking for for a while. While strolling through the aisles you couldn’t help but have the feeling that you were being watched.
You wondered if it was something alike the House or Byraxsis. Although you doubted that something as ‘terrifying’ could be found in the Day Court.
Not to lie you had always enjoyed the presence of Byraxsis, you would read to it after a long day. And sometimes, just sometimes they would ask a question or ask for a book you could read.
You missed them sometimes, although the same cannot be said about Cassian.
When you reached for a book you noticed that you were once again joined by a little shadow. You smiled at it before returning to looking for your book.
When you were about to enter another aisle the little shadow decided to pull you a different way. You ended up three aisles down from where you were going. The little shadow kept going before stopping before a specific bookcase. You looked around it for a bit, curious at what the littlz thing would want to show you and that’s when you saw just the book you were looking for.
When you went to thank the little one, you realized that it was nowhere to be found.
Shrugging it off you decided to focus on the matter at hand. To get the book that was placed about a meter and a half above you. You tried to reach it by standing on your tiptoes before someone reached out above you to take it of the shelve.
You immediately recognized the scars on the hands, the siphons and the little shadows that had once again decided to dance along your skin.
Lowering your hand you turned around to see Azriel leaning over you in the same way he had been that morning. Except this time he was smiling softly, it tugged on a heart string to see him smile like that. Gods what you wouldn’t do to see him smile like that more.
“A bit short aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question as much as it was a tease. You huffed but smiled and thanked him for the book. But just as you went to reach for it he held it out of your reach. The smile on his face widened at your playful glare. You reached for it again but this time he held it above his head. So you decided to step closer until you were practically chest to chest and place one hand on his chest and raise one to reach for the book.
He seemed surprised by your boldness and movement that his arm went slack and you managed to lower it and grab the book.
You smiled at the look on his face and patted his chest. You took a step back.
“I’m surprised to see you here. Wasn’t expecting it.” You said softly to respect the space.
He shrugged and smiled. “Maybe I wanted to read and saw a damsel in distress.” You laughed a little, denying being a damsel or in distress. He leaned in closer with is head and upper body and added. “Or maybe I just wanted to see you.”
You flushed at that and he laughed quietly, deciding that you were red enough he gestured for you to follow while he offered his arm. Which you took.
He led you to where you had sat yesterday and took a book of his own. He sat down besides you on the couch and started reading.
You finished your book rather fast and decided to read another and another. As did he, only he didn’t read nearly half of what you read.
Once it started getting late, and both of you began to get hungry he announced that you should be retire to the bedroom. You obliged, still you toom the books with you to the front desk so they could be placed where they needed to be. He smiled at you once that happened and once again offered his arm.
Back in the room, you both decided to wear something more comfortable. Azriel had once again ditched his shirt and opted for loose black sweatpants instead of his leathers.
The food was delivered to the door and you both ate in silence until he spoke up.
“Why did you sleep on the couch tonight?" You raised your head from your food and blinked at him. “I mean there was enough space for us both and as much as it is pretty that couch does not look comfortable.”
You smiled perhaps a bit sheepish and said: “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, you had already moved so for to the right and still there was little space. I definitely would have touched you, which I thought you were uncomfortable with. And I would have had to move your wing and even now that is a boundary I will not cross. Especially not in your sleep.”
He smiled softly at you and his eyes softened. “I wouldn’t mind you sleeping in the bed with me. Not at all.”
And so that’s how you ended up next to the shadowsinger. It was well past midnight and it appears that Azriel had found sleep, the same could not be said for you.
The blanket had little weight and was very thin. But getting out of the bed would mean waking Azriel zo you bared with it.
After a count you turned your head to Azriel to find him already looking at you. Startled at first your eyes widened before turning into a smile to match his own. You turned on your side to look at him better and did he look good.
His sleepy smile paired with that dammed look in his eyes.
“Why do you look at me like that?” you asked.
A beat passed, then he sighed and said: “Because you are simply stunning.”
A blush crept up your face. “So are you, dammed handsome truly.”
You thought that he would laugh or say something back but instead his face faltered. It hurt to watch that, you frowned and wondered why that happened. Did he not believe you? Does he think you’re lying?
No, that’s not possible, I mean look at him. But his smile went completely and you felt such dread seeing it ago, and that’s when it happened.
Snap
“You…. You’re..” You weren’t sure what to say. It’s like your entire world got flipped upside down.
“Wait, you can feel it?” He said, leaning on his elbow. Your mouth opened and closed before you nodded with disbelief. He knew?
His smile started returning before he started reaching for me. Although he stopped abruptly, he looked at his hands and before I knew is I had taken them in mine and placed a kiss on the knuckles, the back of them and both palms.
His eyes glossed and his voice sounded so little as he asked: “You don’t mind? You don’t mind that it is me that is your….” His voice trailed off at the end.
“I do not, truly I am utterly delighted.” You took the side of his face in your hand while guiding him to lay back down. “I am more than happy to be your mate, Azriel.”
His eyes scanned mine for a lie, a single hesitation and when he found none he said upright and brought both wings to the correct sides. He gestured for me to sit up so I did. He laid back down with now the wing beneath me.
I hesitated and he told me once again: “I don’t mind when it’s you.”
So begrudgingly you laid down on his arm atop his wing while the other draped over you, along with his arm and shadows. The added weight was welcome and so was the warmth against the chilly air.
“How long have you known?” You ask.
“Remember Solstice two years ago, when we were having one of our conversations again?” You nodded. “And how all of a sudden I had to make the worst excuse ever to leave?” You nodded again.
“Well, you had said that my shadows were adorable and you called them ‘little ones’ ande then it just… snapped. I panicked cuz I did not know what to do, I almost spilled it all right then and there but I felt like you deserved better… or at least for it to be natural. Honestly even before the bond I really liked you, you should ask Rhys and Cass. They have some stories of me trying to impress you and it going terrifically wrong.”
You laughed and stared in wonder, you mate is a dork. And you love him. So you told him just that.
“I would love to het to know you better, truly. But know that even before and now still, I love you. My mate is such a dork and I’d love to hear all the stories.”
His arms wrapped around you tighter and the shadows seemed to do the same. And so you both laid there in each other’s arms.
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dontexpectmuch · 1 day
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i know how much you guys love this series, so i give you a new part. this one how ever will be;
comments/feedback is highly appreciated! please, im getting desperate :d
Habits Jude Bellingham might develop before you guys get into a relationship!
(a Lost in Madrid drabble!)
it is no secret that jude just loves to talk. he genuinely enjoys it so much to share any and every thought that goes through his mind, no matter how small it might be. he couldn’t tell when it started exactly, but suddenly he found himself on his way to you, a tired student that just wants to finish their work. as soon as he lifts his hand, knocks on your door and enters the room his lips start moving, talking so lively and fast that you need some time to register what is even happening.
“what do you mean ‘m talkin’ your ear off? you literally study literature and shit!” - “it’s more about reading, jude.” you sigh, wishing for any kind of help at this moment.
it is also nothing new for you to receive messages from jude during your quiet evenings when you decide to stay home. jude recently got into sending audio messages, you being his number one victim [forced] friend, whom he shared this new passion with. and most of the times he won’t even say anything important. he’ll just sing a new spanish song he has learned that past week. and he will sing. no matter how terrible it sounds and how much it makes your ears bleed. though, you also always listen to those audios, even though you know what the content will be.
“jude?” opening your door after hearing a desperate knock, you did not think that you would see your [not] friend standing there. he looks tiredly at you, clothes wrinkled and sandals on, “mum wanted me to bring you some cake she baked.” he gives you the tupperware filled with slices of cake, energy low. you feel your shoulders relax as you look up at him, “tell her i love her, please.” he just nods. and even though he always complains to you about how he is not some delivery boy, he can’t help but get excited at the thought of seeing your soft eyes when you receive food his mum made. it makes him feel giddy inside.
he makes you trip purposely whenever you walk in front of him, and then giggles and jogs away to join the others on the field when you send daggers his way with your glare.
he forces you to play two-touch, even though you have told him multiple times already that you cannot play really well. he quite literally forces you to become better, giving you tips while making you pass the ball against the wall back and forth. “i don’t want to do this anymore, jude.” - “well, that’s too damn bad.” his gaze serious as he corrects your form once more. “bitch.” you murmur under your breath, praying for him to just disappear somewhere and leave you alone.
“what?” you ask as you look up from your notes, eyes wide as you watch jude place a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll onto your desk. “i heard that you like sweets, or whatever.” he says, [desperately] wanting to look cool. your heart starts to pick up in speed when you look back and forth between jude and the things he just gave you, warmth spreading through your body. “thanks.”
“watch me.” he smirks at you, who looks quite annoyed tired at him. “i’ll hit this first time.” - “like you did to me on my first day here?” - “dude! i told you not to talk about it anymore, ‘t’s a sensitive topic for me, ‘kay?”
heartfelt conversations between you are not as rare as one might think. whenever jude comes to you to talk your ear off while toi work on your research, you sometimes tell him about your own stuff. that leads to various topics you two discuss, which also results in sharing some intimate thoughts. it makes jude, who usually looks so confident and well put together, look more human, like a 20 year old guy who also learns something new every day.
—————————————
surpriseee! hope you like it!! :)
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stylesispunk · 2 days
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'I've been praying, I never did before'
Not outbreak! Joel Miller x f! Reader
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summary: you prayed to God to send you the answers. Should you stay with Joel or leave him?
w.c: 5k> warnings: angst and cheating.
a/n: this one is based on this ask a lovely anon (🍫) sent the other day. (thanks for your support, I hope I made it justice) and I hope you all like it. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. 💌
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
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You weren't a religious person.
You believed in God, but your devotion didn't go beyond the necklace's cross and your eloquent prayers asking for the protection of your loved ones.
You weren't a religious person, but you thought God sent Joel to you that night at the bar when a wasted man thought he had some power over you just because you wore a short dress. Everyone should have seen his face the night he first got you.
And you thought God rewrote the prophecy of your failed luck in love.
Joel, the sweetheart. Joel, the loving, thoughtful, and faithful.
Joel Miller, your boyfriend of six years.
Not rings, not clues of him saying you loved beyond the whispers in your ear when he had his arm wrapped around your waist in public, showing you off to hide you from the rest of the world once the lights weren’t on you.
The first signs of your love rusting into scarlet maroon.
At first, you brushed them off, attributing the occasional cold shoulders or the missing date nights to stress, life’s inevitable distractions, or nights of hard work. But deep down, you felt the shift. The whispers of doubt crept in, subtle yet persistent, like the gradual erosion of a once impenetrable fortress.
All the vipers are moaning in mourning for you and your poor wounded heart, already cracking due to the daggers thrown at you in poisoned words.
Joel made you feel invincible, loved, and worthy of something as warm as the golden dawn. However, his eyes, once brimming with affection, now flickered with a hint of something words couldn’t speak. His somber eyes matched the gray clouds before the storm on a cloudy day, with no defense or barbed wire to keep you warm. You tried to bridge the growing chasm with gestures of love and attempts at rekindling the spark, but it felt like grasping at smoke.
The nights grew longer, and the silences became more pronounced. You found yourself reminiscing about the early days, the nights spent talking until dawn, the effortless laughter, and the shared dreams you were supposed to build. Those memories felt like a lifeline, a reminder of what once was and what you desperately wanted to reclaim as yours.
Yet, the more you clung to the past, the more it slipped through your fingers. Joel's once warm embraces became mechanical, his kisses lacking the fervor they once held. No more lips attached to your forehead for protection. The blaze on your sheets, once fueled by the fire of your touches, has now become a simple ritual, devoid of connection.
You began to wonder if you had misread the signs, if perhaps you had mistaken God's intervention for a fleeting moment of serendipity. The love that had once felt like destiny now seemed like a chapter nearing its end. The vibrant hues of your relationship had faded, leaving behind a tapestry woven with threads of doubt and broken promises.
In the quiet moments of solitude, when you waited by the door, hoping for Joel to step into the house, you wondered how the red roses he brought grew back as thorns, hurting your fingers as much as when you touched his skin. Would you be able to build a fort after this storm?
"Dad isn’t here yet?" Sarah interrupted your thoughts from the stairs, her wide eyes gazing into yours with the same worry drawn on them.
"No, sweetheart, not yet," you replied, trying to mask your own anxiety with a reassuring smile.
Sarah descended the stairs slowly, her small frame casting a long shadow in the dim light of the hallway. She reached your side and leaned against you, her presence a small comfort in the growing uncertainty.
"Did he say he would be late?" she asked, her voice tinged with concern.
You shook your head. "He didn't say anything, Sarah. Maybe he's just caught up at work."
But you both knew it was more than that. The nights he came home late were becoming more frequent; the excuses were absurd. The distance between you and Joel was no longer just emotional; it was physical, an ever-widening gap that neither of you seemed able to bridge.
"We'll wait a little longer," you said, wrapping an arm around Sarah's shoulders. "He'll be home soon."
Together, you stood in the hallway, the silence stretching out, heavy and oppressive. The clock on the wall ticked away the minutes, each one a reminder of the uncertainty that now defined your lives.
Sarah was thirteen; she wasn’t naïve when it came to your somber eyes growing gray with each passing day. How do your luminous smiles become a sad smirk just for the sake of pretending?
And as you waited, you couldn't help but wonder if the prophecy of your failed luck in love had been rewritten after all, not by God but by the slow, inevitable decay of a love that once seemed eternal.
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The memory flooded back, a vibrant contrast to the present. It was a crisp autumn afternoon, the air filled with the scent of fallen leaves. You and Joel had decided to escape the city for a day, driving out to the countryside without any particular destination in mind.
“Where are we going?” you had asked, laughter in your voice as the wind whipped through the open car windows.
“Somewhere beautiful,” Joel replied, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
You ended up at a secluded lake, its surface like glass reflecting the fiery colors of the trees surrounding it. Joel spread out a blanket, and you both sat down, your shoulders touching, sharing the warmth of the moment.
“This is perfect,” you whispered, leaning into him.
He turned to you, his face inches from yours. “You’re perfect,” he said softly before capturing your lips in a kiss that felt like the first rays of sunshine after a storm.
You spent the afternoon there, talking about everything and nothing, your conversations punctuated by comfortable silences filled with the sound of nature and the beating of your hearts. Joel picked up a pebble and skimmed it across the lake’s surface.
As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over everything, Joel pulled out a small notebook from his jacket pocket. “I’ve been writing something,” he admitted, looking almost shy. “About us.”
You felt a lump in your throat as he read aloud, his deep voice weaving words of love and dreams of a future together. It was in that moment you realized just how deeply Joel had intertwined with your soul, making you believe in a forever you had always been skeptical of.
“Marry me someday,” he had said, not as a question but as a promise.
“Someday,” you had agreed, sealing it with a kiss that tasted of hope and endless possibilities.
That day, everything felt like a love story from a book, each written page filled with the promise that seemed far from the truth now.
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You thought of God when you walked towards the church, seeking prayers and perhaps answers about the fate of your written story with Joel.
The voices were getting to your head, as were the flashbacks from the first night. Puzzle pieces on the dead end of a relationship reeking of putrefaction. You should've known better; flowers die of thirst after being picked.
You thought of the nights. Joel came home late—the missed dinners, the cold shoulders. Each instance is a small fracture, barely noticeable at first but gradually accumulating into a chasm. You thought of the way his kisses had lost their warmth, becoming mere pecks devoid of passion. You had tried to hold on, to rekindle the flame, but it was like trying to grasp water with your hands—it slipped through your fingers, elusive and unattainable.
Dolls are pretty inside their boxes, then they are taken out, played with, worn down, and eventually discarded. You felt like that doll, once cherished and now left on a shelf, gathering dust.
"God," you murmured, "if you can hear me, please show me what to do. Show me how to fix this, or give me the strength to let go."
But how would you resist his charming promises after he had stolen your wounded heart, fixed you, and made you feel like you belonged somewhere?
Once you reached the bench, you got on your knees, clasping your hands together, and prayed to the Lord. You begged him to give you answers.
Should I stay with Joel? Or should I take this knife to my lungs and remove it?
There was nothing more humiliating than begging God that somebody would love you the way you wanted. You have let people love you the way you thought you deserved.
Please
Your golden bracelet was fading into a scarlet maroon as you clasped your palms together, praying.
Please
You prayed, trying not to imagine Joel shoving his dick into some other woman.
The silence that followed was heavy, pressing down on you like a weight on your shoulders. But in that silence, you felt a flicker of something—hope, perhaps, or maybe just a sense of acceptance. You realized that, whether you found a way to mend your relationship or decided to walk away, you would survive. You would find a way to heal, even with your heart in pieces.
As you stood to leave, you took one last look at the altar, the candles still flickering stubbornly against the darkness. You walked out of the church with a little more resolve.
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You wake up in the middle of the night. Joel is there, breathing with his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. You watch him for a moment, your heart aching with the memories of what used to be. Since when did you become a footnote in the story of his life?
Unable to find solace in the darkness, you slip out of bed, careful not to wake him. The floor is cool beneath your feet as you make your way downstairs, the house silent except for the faint creaks and groans of settling wood. You head to the kitchen, seeking the comfort of a warm cup of tea—something to soothe the restlessness gnawing at your soul.
You fill the kettle and set it on the stove, the soft click of the burner igniting the only sound breaking the stillness. As you wait for the water to boil, you lean against the counter, your thoughts drifting back to the early days with Joel, when love was a fire that warmed you both.
The kettle whistles, jolting you from your reverie. You pour the steaming water over a tea bag, and the fragrant aroma of chamomile rises to meet you. As you stir the tea, you hear the soft padding of footsteps behind you. Turning, you see Joel standing in the doorway, his eyes heavy with sleep.
“What’s wrong?” You asked with a clear intention behind those words.
“It’s cold,” he answered. "I missed your warmth," he added, his voice a low murmur that carries the weight of unspoken feelings. "It's cold without you."
You swallow hard, the words catching a lump in your throat. "I couldn't sleep," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just needed some tea.”
Joel steps closer, the dim light casting shadows on his face. "I know things have been... different lately. Distant. I don't want it to be like this."
Here it comes: another lie to cage you.
You look down at your tea, the steam swirling like confusion in your mind. You look down at your tea, the steam swirling like confusion in your mind.
“Do you love me?” you asked.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Of course I love you.” He assured you. “Life just got complicated, I guess. Work, responsibilities... but that's no excuse. I've let us drift apart, and I'm sorry."
You meet his eyes, searching for the truth in them. "I miss us," you admit, your voice breaking. "I miss what we had."
Joel reached out, his hand warm as it covered yours. Promising something without evoking words, as if his touch would be able to evoke the fire you used to feel when his hand touched your skin.
“You can go back to bed,” you said, breaking the suffocating silence settled between the two of you. “I’ll drink my tea first.”
Joel hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Okay," he said softly. "I'll be upstairs if you need me."
You watched him walk back up the stairs, each step heavy with the weight of unspoken promises and unresolved tensions. The quiet in the kitchen seemed even more profound after he left. You took a deep breath, letting the warmth of the tea seep into your hands, trying to find comfort in its simplicity.
The minutes stretched on as you sipped your tea, your thoughts swirling like the steam rising from the cup. When the tea was gone, you washed the cup and placed it on the counter, taking one last moment to collect yourself before heading back upstairs.
When you entered the bedroom, Joel was already lying on his side of the bed, his back to you. You slipped under the covers; the sheets cooled against your skin. You turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. The silence felt different now—less oppressive and more like a blank canvas waiting to be filled.
You settled into your usual spot, leaving a small gap between you and Joel. But before you could close your eyes, you felt him shift. He turned towards you, his arms reaching out and wrapping around your middle. It was a tentative embrace, but it was the first sign of love he had shown you in a while.
Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the familiar warmth of his body against yours. You relaxed into his hold, feeling the weight of his arm around you and the steady beat of his heart against your back.
"I miss this," he whispered, his voice barely audible in the darkness.
You placed your hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I miss it too," you replied softly.
In the quiet of the night, wrapped in Joel's arms, you felt a flicker of hope. The path to healing and rediscovering each other would be long, but in that moment, you both took a step towards it.
The next morning, you woke up feeling the absence of Joel's warmth beside you. The space where he had lain was cool, and the sheets were undisturbed. You rubbed your eyes, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep, and sat up. As you looked around the room, you noticed Joel at the foot of the bed, quietly packing a suitcase.
A pang of confusion and worry shot through you. "Joel?" you called softly, your voice still heavy with sleep. "What's going on?"
Joel looked up, his expression a mix of guilt and resignation. "I'm leaving for the conference," he said, zipping up the suitcase with a firm pull.
Your heart sank. "What?" you asked, trying to make sense of the situation. "You didn't tell me you had a conference."
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know. I’m sorry. It came up last minute, and I didn't want to worry you."
"But you're just leaving now? Without saying anything until now?" The hurt in your voice was palpable, the sense of déjà vu from last night's conversation lingering in the air.
Joel's eyes softened with regret. "I should have told you sooner. I didn't handle it well. I'm going with my boss, and we'll be back in a few days."
Your mind raced, trying to process his words. "Going with your boss? Why didn't you tell me about this before?" You knew he was saying the truth, and you had come to the conclusion that all the affection he showed you last night was pretending to ease you.
He hesitated, the silence stretching uncomfortably. "It’s been hectic at work, and honestly, I didn't want to add more stress to everything."
You stood up, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to shield against the emotional chill. "We talked last night about making more time for each other, and now you're leaving without a word."
Joel stepped closer, reaching out to touch your arm. "I know, and I promise we'll talk more when I get back. I want to work on us, really."
You pulled back slightly, searching his eyes for sincerity. "I hope to be here for when you come back.”
"Don’t be like this, please," Joel replied, his voice tinged with regret. "I don't want to lose you, not after everything."
You forced a small smile, though it felt hollow. "Just be honest with me, Joel. About everything."
He nodded, his expression earnest. "I will. I promise."
With a heavy heart, you watched as Joel gathered his things and headed for the door. As it closed behind him, the emptiness of the house seemed to swallow you whole. You sank onto the couch, feeling lost and alone in the wake of his departure.
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As the minutes stretched into hours, you found yourself unable to shake the nagging feeling of doubt that had settled in the pit of your stomach. Joel's sudden departure, coupled with his vague explanations, left you feeling unsettled and suspicious.
You paced the empty rooms of the house, your thoughts spiraling out of control. What if Joel wasn't really at a conference? What if he was with her and the secretary you knew had feelings for him?
The mere thought sent a surge of anger and betrayal coursing through you. You had noticed the way she looked at Joel and the way she always seemed to find excuses to be near him. And now, with Joel gone on this supposed trip, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
You grabbed your phone, your fingers trembling as you scrolled through your contacts. Should you call him? Text him?
But before you could make a decision, a wave of exhaustion washed over you. The lack of sleep, coupled with the emotional turmoil of the morning, left you feeling drained and defeated.
You sank onto the couch, burying your face in your hands. Tears threatened to spill over, but you fought to hold them back. You couldn't let yourself fall apart, not now.
As you sat on the couch, overwhelmed by exhaustion and emotion, a sudden surge of determination washed over you. You couldn't just sit there, stewing in your doubts and fears. You needed answers, and you needed them now.
With trembling hands, you grabbed your phone and quickly searched for Joel's location. Your heart pounded in your chest as the GPS map pinpointed his whereabouts—an upscale hotel here in the city, not at all where he had claimed to be.
The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. Joel wasn't at a conference. He was right here, in the same city as you, but he had lied to you.
You were someone who, until recently, he had shared secrets with, and now he was keeping them from you.
Despite the exhaustion and emotional turmoil, a fierce determination burned within you to confront him and demand answers.
With shaky hands, you dialed a taxi, your mind racing with a mixture of anger, hurt, and disbelief. How could Joel, someone you had shared your deepest secrets with, now keep such a significant secret from you?
As you waited for the taxi to arrive, the minutes felt like hours, each passing second amplifying the turmoil within you. But you refused to let the uncertainty consume you. You needed to know the truth, even if it shattered the facade of your relationship.
Finally, the taxi pulled up outside your house, and you climbed inside, the anticipation building with every passing moment. The ride to the hotel felt interminable, the streets passing by in a blur as your thoughts swirled in a tempest of emotion.
When you arrived, you paid the fare and stepped out onto the sidewalk. The cool night air was a sharp contrast to the heat of your anger. The imposing facade of the hotel loomed before you, a silent witness to the unfolding drama of your life.
As you entered the lobby of the hotel, your heart raced with anticipation and anxiety. You couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal that gnawed at you, driving you forward with a relentless need for answers.
Just as you were about to approach the reception desk to inquire about Joel's room, your phone buzzed in your pocket. With trembling hands, you retrieved it, seeing Joel's name flashing on the screen.
For a moment, you hesitated, your thumb hovering over the answer button. But then, steeling yourself for whatever confrontation awaited you, you pressed accept.
"Hello?" you said, your voice betraying none of the turmoil raging within you.
"Hey, babe," Joel's voice came through the line, sounding casual and unconcerned. "Just checking in. How’s Sarah? How's your evening going?"
Your grip tightened on the phone, anger bubbling up inside you at his nonchalant tone. "She is good; everything is fine," you replied tersely. "Just fine."
Joel seemed oblivious to your tone as he continued to chatter about the conference, complaining about how boring it was and how tedious it was to spend time with his boss.
As he prattled on, your mind raced with conflicting emotions. On one hand, his words seemed to confirm his alibi—unless, of course, he was lying through his teeth. On the other hand, his casual dismissal of your concerns only fueled your suspicions.
When he finally paused to take a breath, you seized the opportunity to interject. "Joel, where are you right now?"
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, and you held your breath, waiting for his response.
"I'm still at the conference," he said finally, his voice tinged with confusion. "Why? What's going on?"
You clenched your jaw, trying to keep your composure. "I see," you said through gritted teeth. "Well, have fun at your conference, Joel. Goodbye."
As you sat in the lobby, the minutes stretched into what felt like an eternity. Doubt gnawed at you, eating away at your resolve as you questioned whether you had been mistaken about Joel's whereabouts. Maybe he really was at the conference, and you were letting your suspicions get the better of you.
Just as you were about to give up and leave, your gaze drifted toward the entrance of the hotel. And there, walking through the doors, was Joel, his arm wrapped around the waist of his secretary, her laughter echoing in the cavernous lobby.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl as you watched them, your heart plummeting to the pit of your stomach. You felt like you had been punched in the gut, the air knocked out of your lungs as the truth stared you in the face.
Joel's eyes met yours, and for a brief moment, his face went white as if he had seen a ghost. You felt a surge of anger and betrayal wash over you, your knees threatening to give out beneath you.
As the truth of Joel's betrayal hit you like a freight train, panic seized hold of you, squeezing your chest in a vice-like grip. The world seemed to spin around you, and you struggled to catch your breath as waves of nausea washed over you.
One of the receptionists noticed your distress and hurried over to offer assistance. "Are you alright, miss? Can I help you?" they asked, their voice laced with concern.
You could only shake your head, unable to form coherent words as tears welled up in your eyes.
But before you could fully process what was happening, Joel appeared, his face etched with panic and concern. "Hey, hey, hey, are you okay?" he exclaimed, rushing to your side and reaching out to steady you.
Your heart twisted at the sight of him, the betrayal stabbing at you like a knife. "Don't touch me," you choked out, recoiling from his touch as if it burned.
Tears streamed down your cheeks, unchecked and unbidden, as you struggled to find the words to convey the depth of your anguish. "How could you?" you whispered, your voice breaking with pain. "How could you do this to me?"
His eyes widened in realization, and for a moment, you saw the flicker of guilt and regret flash across his features. "I can explain," he began, but you couldn't bear to hear his excuses.
The pain was too raw and overwhelming, and you felt like you were drowning in a sea of hurt and confusion. With trembling limbs, you pushed yourself to your feet, shaking off Joel's attempts to console you as you stumbled towards the exit.
"I need to get out of here," you muttered, your voice hollow and distant as you fled from the scene of your heartbreak.
As you stumbled towards the exit, Joel's voice followed you, pleading and desperate. "Wait, please, just let me explain," he called out, his footsteps echoing in the empty lobby as he chased after you.
But you couldn't bear to listen to his excuses; you couldn't stand the sight of him after his betrayal. Anger bubbled up within you, a fierce fire burning away the remnants of the love you had once felt for him.
When you reached the cool night air outside, you turned to face him, your chest heaving with emotion. "Explain?" you spat, the word bitter on your tongue. "What could you possibly say to justify this?"
Joel's expression was a mask of guilt and regret as he reached out to touch your arm, but you jerked away from him, the sting of his betrayal still fresh in your mind. "I made a mistake," he began, his voice pleading. "I never meant to hurt you."
"You never meant to hurt me?" You scoffed, incredulous. "You lied to me, Joel. You betrayed my trust and our relationship. How could you think that wouldn't hurt me?"
He took a step closer, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "I know I messed up, but please give me a chance to make it right. I love you, and I'll do whatever it takes to fix this."
But his words fell on deaf ears, drowned out by the roar of anger and pain that filled your mind. "I don't want to hear it," you spat. “I gave you six years of my life to you!” you sobbed. “Six years wasted on you, you fucking asshole!” you began to hit in the chest.
With a surge of emotion, you lashed out, your fists pounding against his chest with a force fueled by years of love and betrayal. Each blow was a release, a cathartic expression of the pain and anger that consumed you.
But even as you struck out at him, the tears streaming down your face, you knew that no amount of violence could erase the pain of his betrayal. And as Joel stood before you, his face contorted with remorse, you realized that the love you had once felt for him was now nothing more than a bitter memory.
With tears still staining your cheeks, you turned away from Joel, your heart heavy with the weight of his betrayal. Every step felt like a struggle as you made your way back home, the echoes of your confrontation with Joel still ringing in your ears.
As you entered the familiar surroundings of your home, you felt a sense of overwhelming exhaustion wash over you. But there was no time to rest, no respite from the storm of emotions raging within you.
With a heavy sigh, you began to gather your belongings, each item a painful reminder of the life you had built with Joel. Your hands trembled as you packed your clothes and personal effects, the tears flowing freely as you grappled with the reality of your shattered dreams.
In the midst of your turmoil, the sound of the door opening drew your attention, and you turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his face a mask of desperation and remorse. "Please, don't leave," he pleaded, his voice breaking with emotion. "I'm sorry; I'll do anything to make things right."
But you couldn't bring yourself to look at him; you couldn't bear to see the pain and betrayal reflected in his eyes. With a heavy heart, you turned away, focusing on the task at hand as you continued to pack your things.
Suddenly, a voice broke through the haze of your thoughts, and you looked up to see Sarah standing in the doorway, her expression a mix of confusion and concern. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice trembling with uncertainty.
But before you could respond, Joel stepped forward, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "Sarah, we had a disagreement," he began, his voice thick with emotion. "But I'll do whatever it takes to make things right."
You hesitated, unsure of how to explain the situation to her, but you squared your shoulders and turned to face Joel and Sarah. "I'm leaving," you said, your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions raging within you. "I need some time to figure things out, but I'll always be here for Sarah.”
With that, you gathered your belongings and made your way to the door, leaving behind the shattered remnants of the life you had once known. As you stepped out into the night, the weight of your decision hung heavy around you, but deep down, you knew that it was the only choice you could make.
As you stepped outside, the cool night air washed over you, but there was no relief from the turmoil raging within. Joel's footsteps echoed behind you, his desperate pleas falling on deaf ears as you continued to walk away.
"Please, just listen to me," Joel begged, his voice thick with emotion.
But you couldn't bear to hear his words; you couldn't stand the sight of him after his betrayal. With a surge of anger and frustration, you whirled around to face him, your hand connecting with his cheek in a sharp slap.
The sound of the slap echoed in the stillness of the night, a resounding declaration of your pain and betrayal. Joel staggered back, his hand flying to his stinging cheek as he stared at you in shock.
"How dare you?" You spat, your voice trembling with anger and hurt. "How dare you come after me, after what you've done?"
You turned away from Joel, refusing to let him see the depth of your pain. Without another word, you continued to walk away, leaving him standing alone in the darkness.
As you disappeared into the night, the sting of your slap still lingering on his cheek, Joel knew that he had lost you for good.
Your prayers have been answered by God.
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allfearstofallto · 3 days
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Do you think Childe would get jealous is reader spent to much time with the kids or would he just appreciate her not being miserable 24/7?
Childe is jealous because HE can't spend lots of time with the kids. He's unreasonably happy that you and the children get along so well, but he hates that it comes at the cost of him not having a place to fit in.
Yandere! Childe x Fem! Reader
Forced Marriage AU
TW: Reader has children, yandere themes, general angst
It was a thought that lingered in his mind more than he wanted. Despite the fact that he was adamant that he wouldn't let it bother him, it still crept its way into his brain during moments of silence. It was eating away at him, the one thing that he couldn't fight off was going home every night and noticing it. Noticing the silence, the lack of toys splayed about, the lack of laughter, the mess.
When he was a child and even up until long past his teenage years, he remembered not being able to walk two steps in his home without stumbling over a toy or board game or even some mysterious mess. He's aware that he has significantly less adolescents in his own house now than he did as a kid, but it doesn't change the fact that his his kids are just so clean. and quiet. It's almost unnerving how little he sees of those existence in the home.
And when he returns, even if there is still sun beaming down on the packed snow of Snezhnaya, his son's will already be up in their rooms. Whether it's to nap or do some schoolwork, the second he steps foot into his own home, they become unavailable, shying away from him as if he were the monster under their bed.
“Why are the boy's always busy when I get home,” he asked over dinner. A quiet dinner of just you and him. He hadn't eaten a meal with his son's in months, almost as if you wanted him to forget their existence.
A look of fear crossed your face, then confusion, then a weak, fake smile. Those smiles of yours. Forced quivering lips and wide eyes, how much longer could you continue to smile at him like that? How much longer would he allow it?
“They're both still young, Ajax, they don't want to be under their parents constantly,” you tried to assure him, following your words up by filling your mouth with food to not have to say more.
“That's bullshit,” he slammed his fist down on the table, scaring you even more in the process. You could see that he was seething with rage, close to having an outburst before taking a deep breath to calm himself. Still, his words were slow and concise as he spoke against, a growl present in his voice, “You can't even sit Damon down for a minute without him crying till he's blue in the face.”
There was nothing you could say to disprove what he was saying. He was correct. Damon was typically glued to your hip, throwing fits whenever you let go of him. He was always a clingy child, vastly different to Adonis, who only wanted you around to show you a cool trick he'd learned or an art project he'd made. But both of them would grow pale when you said that their father would be returning home soon, and even if you wanted to, you couldn't make them leave the confines of their rooms, knowing that Childe was lurking around the corner.
“I want to see my sons,” he said without waiting for your response.
“They're probably long asleep by now,” another lie. You couldn't get Adonis to go to bed without a fight most nights. You knew he was still up, possibly playing with his action figures once again, but if he heard the sound of his father's footsteps coming up the stairs, he'd be in bed with no hesitation. You remember a night where he thought it was Childe instead of you opening the door to his bedroom. He was curled up in his comforter, with it pulled up to his eyes. Peeking at the door like he was expecting the Boogeyman.
“I won't go in tomorrow then. We'll have the whole day together,”
You had nothing to say back, but also no way of forcing the boys to spend time with him. Rather, you silently picked at your food, a lump starting to form in your throat. Dinner was eaten in silence, with you only occasionally stealing glances at your husband, who was still angrily eating. Your heart sank thinking of the ways the boys would cry, but knowing that there was nothing you could do for them. Except be there as he forced himself into their lives. He was doing to them as he'd done to you. And helplessly, all you could do was watch.
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skyenish · 2 days
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| Vil Schoenheit analysis and animatic: my interpretation on Vil’s character and overblot 👑 |
———
(I haven’t read the newest book 7 chapters yet since I play on EN)
I’ve always interpreted Vil’s story as one of validation. He may be confident, he knows his worth, and yet he can’t give himself the validation he wants/needs. Hes got tenacity and believes in working hard to be his perfect self, which is admirable, but one must wonder how much of that ‘perfect self’ is influenced by others. What really is ‘the fairest of them all’? He works so hard to achieve what he thinks it is, and even after all that hard work he’s still second best to Neige.
Vil isn’t dumb, he knows his worth, he knows that Neige works hard too, and yet it stings. Do others dont appreciate how much effort you put in? He chases validation and because of that can’t truly love himself, which is exactly what Rook meant with what he said to Vil after book 5’s ending, something how about when Vil is old and wrinkly, as long as he truly believes he’s the fairest of them all, he is.
When Vil tried to cheat, tried to poison Neige, his whole world collapsed. His overblot was a very internal issue, unlike the other Overblotters, because he wasn’t being tenacious, he took a shortcut, which he famously doesn’t like. He’s the monster he thinks others think he is, partly because of his typecasting and the bullying he endured when he was younger. He let other people affect him so much, it’s a huge part of his overblot.
This is just my interpertation of course, but I barely see anyone talk about Vil’s character and OB besides his surface level jealousy towards Neige, and I think we should talk more about him. He is already trying, working so hard, but it’ll never be enough for him for as long as he isn’t happy with it himself. His perfection is toxic. Its admirable how hard he works, and he’s an incredibly smart, talented and even confident person, but his desire for perfection, for validation, would’ve destroyed him. There’s a reason he overblotted, and its not just because ‘waaah waaah I always get typecasted as the villain and mu rival is gonna win a competition 🥺🥺’, its so, SO much more!
I want more discussions about Vil because he has so much more depth than people give him credit for. He teaches us the important lesson of loving yourself, though he’s not very good at it himself yet! I’m sorry if this analysis is all over the place, I just wanted to ramble, and I just so happened to have made a sort of corresponding animatic!
Uhh that was my ted talk about Vil. Falls of stage and breaks my neck
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starrywilliams · 1 day
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guilty as sin? | abby anderson
“these fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath, taking all of me, we’ve already done it in my head”
warnings: masturbation, slight masochism, ruined orgasm, angst, perv!abby (a little), internalized homophobia (discussed in more detail below)
notes: no surprise my favourite ttpd song is the gayest one on the album, but guilty as sin? screams lesbian guilt i fear!!!! i’ve been writing this for over a month so i hope u guys like it 😭
cw: discussion of lesbian guilt & comphet - these are somewhat based on my own experiences with my sexuality and i absolutely!!! do not think a man can ‘cure’ a lesbian or anything similar to that. nor do i believe anyone should ever feel guilty for being gay. realising i’m a lesbian has been extremely freeing & dykes r the best x
wc: 1.8k
likes, comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated :)
the door slammed harshly behind abby as she stormed into her room. she pulled her jacket off desperately; her skin hot under its tight vice. she’d been in the gym, trying to work out her endless frustration of late, when you’d walked in.
you’d only said “hi" and smiled politely at her before setting your things down. but she felt her stomach churn, a black hole opening inside her. abby stood up, pulling the weights off the barbell and onto their rack. she grunted softly, glancing at you from the corner of her eye.
you’d started stretching, currently bent over as you touched your toes. her eyes drifted for an infinitesimal moment, locking onto the swell of your-. she looked away - wrongwrongwrong.
but then she looked back, her stare feasting on your body. she wondered whether you were doing this on purpose, trying to tempt her from across the room. she wondered if you knew her dirty little secret, abby picturing a smirk on your face as you mocked her for such indecent thoughts.
she didn’t want to feel this way. she didn’t want to feel the poison ivy swarming around her chest, getting tighter, tighter. the rash spread inside her; this invisible whip of lust lashing against her skin whenever your face appeared in her mind. well, had it been just your face maybe she wouldn’t feel like some depraved sinner.
now it wasn’t like abby believed in god, in a world where death and destruction infect every crevice you’d have to be mad to believe that any ‘god’ wanted its followers to suffer so greatly. but something inside her screamed every time she had these thoughts. these impure, twisted thoughts about you.
she didn’t know what made her feel like this. what made her resent you for simply existing; and what made her resent herself.
she recalled her teenage years, when manny had subtly suggested that owen liked her - so she was supposed to like him back, right? and she tried! she loved him even - but there was always that something, that feeling in her gut that told her that something was wrong, something about him that just would never sit right with her.
but all the other girls wanted a boyfriend too, and the jealousy was nice at first - she’d thought. after all, mel was the star student, a doctor in the making, her dad’s favourite; and nora was this freshly trained medical officer, and abby was- abby was just abby.
her dad began noticing her more too - previously too preoccupied with his firefly duties and his favourite student. now his little girl was slipping away from him, he finally began paying her the amount of attention she’d craved for so long.
before, their conversations had often drifted into talk of mel and her new achievements, or his hopes of a vaccine, or some animal he was tracking. never anything about his daughter’s life.
having a boyfriend made her interesting, it gave the other girls something to envy. which was a nice reversal, for a while. then her dad died, and she had become this object of pity. owen helped a bit, she supposed. he tried to distract her and keep her focused on their new role as soldiers, but she barely cared about him anymore. all she wanted was revenge, and with revenge, came you.
you were one of the gyms trainers, passionate about helping the members of the wlf stay fit and healthy! you’d helped her start lifting weights, squealed as she reached every milestone, and had remarked jokingly about just how much you loved her new physique.
it was innocent at first, the most being her brain going a little fuzzy when you’d bit your lip while spotting her; a slight blush when you’d hugged her a little too tight. then, once she and owen were finally broken up, these new pictures began hanging themselves on the walls of her mind. still, innocent, just slightly tainted with desire - the true nature of them still an avoidable matter for her back then.
when she could ignore the truth in her recent behaviour, abby loved spending time with you. after all, you were just really good friends! anyway, she’d had a boyfriend before so everyone knew she was normal, and absolutely not different, and she would never ever have to feel like an outsider.
yet it took a mere three months before she gave up on this foolish lie. she liked you, and as long as nobody ever found out, it wouldn’t matter.
but as her mind grew dark and twisted - joel a constant topic in her head as she obsessed over finally getting to enact revenge - her thoughts got worse in turn. she wanted you - filthily and desperately.
every gym session ended with another cold shower, a desperate plea for her body to stop and let her focus on the task at hand; a hopeless attempt to bury this ache into the ground; an endless endeavour to escape these urges for just one second.
but then she came back changed, every hair on her body endlessly erected with guilt. the way she’d killed him so mercilessly, the way it had done nothing to ease the pain, and the way you had tormented her mind ceaselessly throughout the entire trip.
maybe, had she never met you, she could’ve just killed him and been satisfied. maybe had you never offered to train her personally, she could’ve just stayed comfortable in that stuffy closet. maybe if she found the right man she’d stop feeling this way.
abby deemed such ideas unfathomable now.
owen made her feel nothing. being with him was like an eternal thursday, an endless wait for the week’s end and its pleasure to turn up at her door. every day she’d wait for some spark to arrive, the routine only becoming more and more tedious by the minute. but he helped her get people’s attention, which was enough when she was just abby.
but then she was abby anderson, top scar killer and isaac’s favourite. she got attention on her own, she was praised for her own accomplishments: people worshipped the fucking ground she walked on. but they didn’t know who she really was.
they didn’t know she liked girls the way she was supposed to like boys. she’d seen it in enough of those wlf movie nights - cruel jokes about anyone who even thought about being different. she’d heard the way people gossiped, “did you hear that they’re moving lesbians into the family unit? what a joke.”
they said it like it was something dirty, something egregious, something that she had to hate about herself. so she did.
but as long as she kept it secret, kept it locked away in her mind, maybe she’d be okay. after all, only your actions talk: it was the age old question really, if a tree falls in a forest and no one else hears it, does it make a sound?
abby fell back against her bed sheets, calloused hands pushing her cargos down to her ankles as she replayed the sight of you in her mind. bent over - she felt like you were trying to tempt her on purpose.
she felt like a heathen; staring, fantasizing, worshipping. her mind was bursting with the idea of every possible position she could put you in; head a chorus of every little noise she wanted to hear you make; eyes screwed shut as depravity filled her every sense.
she shoved her bralette up her chest roughly, fingertips dragging over her nipples with little mercy. she pinched them, the peach skin stinging underneath her touch.
she wanted it to hurt; wanted it to feel like some sort of punishment for her thoughts. but as her hips bucked into the air, a long whine dragging from her clenched jaw, she realised it needed to hurt more.
she imagined you, finding her like this. disgust burnt into your features - what the fuck was she doing? repeating your name like some subverted prayer, fingers harshly scratching along her stomach as she tried to make the pleasure feel more like pain, trying to induce some connection between the two.
if it hurt enough, would she stop? force herself to forget? could she torture this part of herself until it surrendered?
her hand slipped over the top of her boxers, a finger running tentatively over her clit through the now darkened fabric. she bit down on her lip, groaning against it as she pushed down harder and harder, attempting to break through the skin.
another finger pressed down, beginning to draw circles down on the throbbing bud. she jolted against her own touch, your head between her legs burning into her mind. your hands, trailing along her flesh - groping at her with little tenderness; tongue, swiping at her pussy with no intent of fulfillment: she wanted you to make her weep, smoke out her lungs with shame, deny her from gratification until all she could feel was regret.
she pulled away, only to cover her fingertips with her spit - diving under her boxers to continue with her corruption. abby let out a strangled sigh, hips grinding against her fingers as they toyed with her clit.
she moved a hand to her hair, knuckles stretching against her scalp as she began to pull her braid. she grunted, yanking even harder. she whispered your name: pained, hopeless.
she sped up her assault against her pussy, feeling that pit in the bottom of her stomach begin to grow. “pleasepleaseplease” her voice cracked as she begged, unsure what she was pleading for.
she wanted to stop, but she needed to try and make this feeling go away. she knew it would come back, it always did - but even five minutes free from your torment on her mind might save her.
her fingers kept going, drawing desperate circles against her weeping pussy relentlessly. the void was growing, almost consuming her entirely at this point. she thought of you laughing at her current state: a crying mess, pussy wet with perversion.
it was sick, really - how the idea of you hating her for this made her need even worse. you’d probably think it appalling: someone who was supposed to be your friend, now sat here burning at the thought of you.
a part of her wished that you shared this sickness. that you too let yourself be overwhelmed by the thought of sin. maybe you didn’t let the guilt swallow you whole - she hoped so.
but there was no point lingering in the what-ifs, they were far too fleeting.
her deft fingers quickened their pace, the ache all consuming. the climb began - a desperate jump towards oblivion. closer, closer. the flames scorched her bedsheets as her breathing hastened.
fuck, she hissed before reaching the apex with a scream of your name. a scream? a whisper? a thought? it didn’t make her actions any less deplorable.
her conscience grabbed pleasure by the throat as she ripped her fingers away, putting out the blaze on her hips like a cigarette crushed on the ground.
the desire imploded within the walls of her torso; scratching against her insides in the vengeance of her denial.
it was wrong; she had to stop it. yet still, the guilt poured into her lungs with no chance of resolve. she was a fool for thinking it would fix her. maybe next time it would work. maybe next time the exorcism would finally purify her.
until next time.
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vampzity · 3 days
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home run! | J.WY
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—✫ pairing: baseball! wooyoung x gn! reader
—✫ genre: fluff, ateez, headcanon, jung wooyoung, idol au, baseball au
—✫ description: all the pics i’ve been seeing of wooyoung at the baseball event is making my heart throb he’s literally so precious. i needed this headcanon BADLY. enjoy these delusional thoughts!
—✫ wc: 484
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baseball! wooyoung who always looks for you in the crowd when he’s about to throw a pitch.
baseball! wooyoung who kisses each ball right before pitching so you know he dedicated it to you.
baseball! wooyoung who despite being a private event, finds a way to bring you, just so you can watch him throw the first pitch.
baseball! wooyoung who makes sure you don’t get overwhelmed by the countless fans asking for signatures.
baseball! wooyoung who gives you a sly look every time someone hands him a baby to hold.
baseball! wooyoung who always ends up talking about kids with you, and how much he adores them even though you’ve heard this same ramble about 20 times a month.
baseball! wooyoung who makes sure to save you an extra signed ball that he happened to pitch, just because you’re his favorite.
baseball! wooyoung who appreciates the fact that you don’t mind him bringing his brother along.
baseball! wooyoung who trusts you to watch his brother while he’s pitching in the field.
baseball! wooyoung who asks you to take countless amounts of photos of him, just for his fans.
baseball! wooyoung who gives you his hat and shades to stay cool, despite his heat rash tendency. (rip woo irl fr)
baseball! wooyoung who calls out for you as he’s practicing pitches on the sidelines.
baseball! wooyoung who doesn’t mind sharing his food with you, as well as eating the rest of what you couldn’t finish.
baseball! wooyoung who yells louder than everyone else when a player is about to hit a home run.
baseball! wooyoung who talks endlessly to you about how he’d want to put your future kids in sports.
baseball! wooyoung who makes your heart pound when you see him at his absolute happiest.
baseball! wooyoung who lets you try on the mittens they gave him to pitch with, and laughs when he sees how big they are on you.
baseball! wooyoung who whines because his white shoes got dirtied by the sand on the field, only to be annoyed by your “i told you so” after you told him not to wear white.
baseball! wooyoung who kisses your forehead every time a home run is scored, just because.
baseball! wooyoung who appreciates that you love him, even despite his tendency to be loud.
baseball! wooyoung who always laughs at how shocked you are every time fans surround him for autographs and pictures.
baseball! wooyoung who accepts your challenge to getting a home run in exchange for whatever baseball merch he wants.
baseball! wooyoung who somehow manages to play a full home run, despite not being a professional.
baseball! wooyoung who constantly nags and brags to you on how he scored a home run on the first try.
baseball! wooyoung who is happy he got to spend his day with you and his brother, and hopes to do so again one day.
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a/n: im losing my mind 🧎‍♀️i do have some more sport headcanons on the way with other members so just be on the look out for those hehe ;)
taglist: @skzline @rvereri @evidive @xoxkii @vrtualsins
@sanslovesblog @dvrktvnnel @scarfac3 @honeyhwaaa @sundaybossanova
@kittykat-25 @losrpark @yyaurii @hwasddeongbyeoli @aestheticjoonie
@roomsofangel @mingtinysworld @minghaoslatina @interweab
*comment to be added to the taglist!*
—divider creds to owner—
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starshinegarcia · 2 days
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hi!!! Can you do Spencer x fem reader where she is not a part of the BAU but is Spencer's gf and no one on the team knows but they have their suspicions. Then one day he forgot his lunch so she decides to bring it to him at work and everyone is so shocked that he has a gf and they tease Spencer bc he's so infatuated with her and they are so in love!
I love this idea so much!! requested Spencer x Reader oneshot- my first time writing Spencer! feedback appreciated as always! __ stands for Y/N! hope i did it justice! thanks so much for the request lovely 💗
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Isn’t it just so pretty to think..
The sun peeked in at you through a crack in the cream colored curtains, a trick of the light casting shadows on your freckled back as you dozed off- again. The slow beeping of your alarm clock came into earshot once again, and you begrudgingly unlocked your phone, trudging across the apartment to take a picture of the fridge (it was the only way to shut your alarm off, Spencer had figured out your sleep habits.) Slowly padding back to your bedroom, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, blinking as you examined Spencer’s side of the bed. Wait. You twirled around, doing a double take as your eyes focused on the blue lunch bag sitting on the counter. Spencer had forgotten his lunch, the one you had packed for him the night before, like you always did.
The love note peeked out at you in the front pocket, an extra reminder to you as you grabbed your phone. Scrolling through a few texts from Spencer from earlier in the morning, you dialed his number, chewing on your lip as it rang. “Good morning, sunshine.” “Spencie, you forgot your lunch.” You heard your boyfriend sigh on the other line, imagining him rubbing his temples. “So much for that eidetic memory, huh? I’m sorry, baby, put it back in the fridge, okay? I’ll order something for today.” You shook your head, but refrain from arguing audibly as an idea sprang into your head. “Baby?” “Just wait there, okay Spence?” “__, sweetheart, what-” “No time to talk! Bye!” Giggling, you DID place the lunch back in the fridge as he had asked, dashing back to the bedroom and shutting the door with a spin.
Spencer had, undoubtedly, been in a rush that morning, having stayed in bed with you a few more minutes then time allowed for. He ended up not being late, and even if he had been he would never sacrifice that time with you, not for the BAU, not for the world. You had been dating for half a year now, but you had been in his life for much longer before that- hence you two moving in relatively quickly. The team obviously had their suspicions, but no formal introduction had taken place- but Spencer was left completely clueless that morning as you hung up the phone, smiling and going back to his files with a loving shake of his head.
So, come lunchtime, the last thing he was expecting was your scent wafting through the office, his ears picking up on the jingling of your bracelets and suddenly feeling slightly crazy. But no, there you were, bouncing up to him with a visitor badge pinned to your blouse, your guy’s favorite Chinese takeout cradled in her hands.
“Hi, babe.” You set the food down on his desk, perching yourself on his desk. “What are you doing here, sunshine?” “Well, I have a shoot later downtown, and, I figured you might want some lunch- free delivery, of course.” Spencer chuckles, taking you in- you were wearing a light blue blouse over a darker blue skirt- two of his favorite colors, though anything looked good on you. “You shouldn’t have. You look stunning, though. I can’t wait to see those pictures later.” You giggle, swinging your legs and reaching out a hand to smooth his curls down. Spencer clears his throat, and you glance up to see the entire BAU staring at you.
The rest of the office watched in awe as you came in, then with even more surprise as you beelined it to Spencer’s desk. JJ whipped a fashion magazine out of seemingly thin-air, pointing to a woman on the front cover. “She is quite literally the top plus sized model in the US right now.” “You’re telling me that Spencer is dating HER?” Garcia burst out in a fit of giggles, “I told you guys, big girls are the way to go!” while Derek shook his head with a smile. “Pretty boy pulls a model. Who knew?” Emily swiveled around to face them, shaking her head. “She looks different than the magazine, though. She looks smart, and look at the way he’s looking at her. Reid wouldn’t date someone without depth.”
Becoming aware of everyone’s eyes on you, you look to your boyfriend for an answer, getting a nod and gentle smile in return. You hop up off his desk, smoothing your skirt down and waving shyly. “Uh, hi, everyone! I’m __, it’s really nice to finally meet you guys, Spencer has told me so much about you and I’m really glad to finally be putting a face to the name and I’m-” “Baby, breathe.” The team stifles a laugh, the resemblance between your rants and Spencer’s tangents clear. You flush. “Anyway. I brought enough food for all, if you guys want? Penelope, I um, got some vegetarian stuff for you, as well.” Garcia, the woman that she is, wraps you in a tight hug, and you laugh, appreciating her silent invitation into the group.
Seated at the round table, everyone passes food around, settling down eventually and eating off of paper plates Rossi had dug up somewhere. Chatter fills the table, and the door abruptly opens as Hotch enters the briefing room. Everyone freezes, and you drop your fork startlingly loudly as his eyes find you. Rossi starts, “Aaron, we were just-” Hotch holds up his hand, cracking a smile as he motions to shake your hand. “You must be Spencer’s girlfriend. I had a feeling we’d be meeting you soon. __, is it?” You blink, standing up and letting out a sigh of relief, eyes twinkling as he winks at Spencer and starts to pull up a chair.
As the lunch hour came to a natural close, Spencer pulled you close as you leaned on his shoulder. Pressing a kiss to the side of your head,Garcia gazes at you two from the bullpen. “They are so freaking cute, I could cry.” Everyone laughs, but silently agrees, happy to know their youngest and most troubled colleague had found someone. Back in the office, you glance at your bedazzled watch and sigh.“I need to get going, baby, my shoot starts in half an hour.” Spencer groans, tugging on your arm as you start to stand up and gather your things. You laugh, rubbing his hand with your thumb. “I’ll see you at home, Spencie.” He nods, pulling you into a kiss and resting his forehead against yours. “I’ll be looking forward to that PB&J tomorrow, sweetheart.”
All along there was some invisible string, tying you to me..
Tags: @discotitsposts @ilikw
Comment 🦋 to be added to my tag list!! :)
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thegoldencontracts · 2 days
Text
Bodyswap With The Dormheads
I can't help but imagine the Prefect swapping bodies with the other dormheads...
Riddle, who is definitely struggling without his magic, and constantly trying to behead Grim. Meanwhile you'll definitely behead Ace at some point, maybe levy your power to try to make Crowley do his job for once.
Leona's suddenly stuck being poor and dependent on the headmage. Not a fun experience, to say the least. He'll come out of it with a newfound respect for you. And you'll get food! And Ruggie... Who's definitely gonna clock something's off.
Azul can't sigma male grind his way out of this one, I'm afraid. Back in that helpless position he was in before, only now it seems like he can't work his way out. It'll definitely be miserable, and he'll have quite a few spats with Grim. And you? Well, you'll get clocked by the Leech twins before you know it, I'm afraid.
Kalim flounders completely. He's kind, and wise in some ways, yes, but his circumstances mean he's never learned a lot of basic tasks. So having to take care of both himself and Grim in this unfamiliar place... well, it's pretty hard. He probably almost burned the dorm at some point. Meanwhile, you get more food, and Jamil's ire. There's a pretty good chance Jamil clocks you, but he also might just not care so long as nothing happens that he has to take the blame for. Afterwards, Kalim will definitely offer more in renovations, like he did after VDC.
Vil is appalled by the state of your dorm. He doesn't blame you, of course, you can't help the fact that the headmage is too incompetent to properly care for his students. Afterwards, expect him to try and help you with skincare and renovations more. He always wants to help people be their most beautiful, does he not? And you? Well... You'll quickly be met with the brunt of his self-imposed workload.
Idia's social battery is completely drained. He can't use his tablet anymore? And what's with all these normies? Why are they making fun of you for not having magic? And not to mention the terrible state of your dorm... Hey, at least he gets a cute kitty-cat to hang out with as consolation. And you, well, you appreciate the break from being bullied. Even if Ortho probably clocks you in an instant.
Malleus is rather shocked by your poor living conditions. How could you be treated so poorly? Are you not a student of this school? He really is rather confused. Your friends are rather fascinating though... Along with that little cat - no, monster of yours. And you get a powerful fae body, yay! But everyone fears you. Hey, is it really that much worse than dealing with mockery?
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oct0bra1ns · 2 days
Note
can you do a platonic yandere teacher? like maybe the teacher kidnaps the darling (his fav student) because he has always wanted a child and you just seem like the perfect child to have! and he kinda gets pissed off if you mention your old family. Reader can be High school or Middle school age i don’t care which.
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teehee, i hope you don't mind but i combined it with another another ask which was similar, i went to keep both aspects of the ask so there'll be two yandere characters, they can be a couple or just two people who live together, whatever you want. once again, no names :P
Reblogs and comments are appreciated
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Yandere Teacher and Yandere headmaster who used to argue all the time despite the fact that they live under one roof. Yandere teacher hates what the headmaster deems as necessary for the students and teachers while the headmaster hates how the teacher never listens to anything he says.
All the staff hate whenever a meeting is called, not because their day was disrupted, no, but because they have to sit and listen to these two arguing over the most stupid things.
They couldn't seem to agree on anything until they met you. Yandere teacher had always kept an eye on you, the one student in his class who used to submit everything on time, complete every assignment to perfection nd rather well behaved.
He usually hates having to explain himself over and over again but if you ask him to repeat something, he will, even if he has already gone though the topic like 100 times.
If by chance you don't do well on a test, he'll give you another assignment to make up for it, or be less harsh with his grading on that certain paper.
He'll let you disturb his free time if you have any doubts or topic you don't understand.
You've always been his favorite student, so well behaved, never causing a scene in class and doing everything he assigned you to the best of your abilities.
With all this in mind, there was no surprise when you decided to run for the President of the student council, with your track record, you were bound to be selected by the teachers*.
That was until he found out one student from a more well off family was planning to run as your rival and for once he went to the headmaster to ask for help.
The headmaster has always kept an eye on you, someone who managed to impress the Teacher who was known for being nitpicky with everything his students did. Of course, that wasn't the only reason, always participating in events, getting awards, representing the school in inter school events, all made him quite interested in what you could achieve within your school years.
Naturally the moment the Teacher came in, asking for you to be selected as the next president he agreed without hesitation,bringing down the reputation of a spoiled child in the eyes of the teachers was no problem for him.
It didn't take long for both of them to agree it would be better if you were staying with them, after all, being the child of the headmaster of one of the most prominent schools was nothing to scoff, that too along with a teacher who had years of experience and a well known reputation in the eyes of various boards.
Of course, being the student council president meant that you had lots of duties to attend to, ones which included you staying late in the school while most of the staff and teachers left, as such, it was quite easy for them to bring you the unfortunate news that your family perished in an accident, when in reality, they made sure to use their influence to make sure they'd never be found.
Under the disguise of being concerned for you, they'd offer to let you stay in their houses. They'd use the first week to make you forget your old family under the guise of giving yourself closure and giving you time to yourself.
They wouldn't rush anything, in time they'd start acting as if you had no other family except them, both of them would step in the role of your parents.
They'd do anything to keep you happy, learning all your likes/ dislikes, cooking whatever dish you wanted, helping you with whatever and buying you everything you ask for.
The headmaster is not someone who cares if you mention your old family, they don't matter because they're gone and as long as he has you with him, he doesn't care while the Teacher on the other hand, tends to get irritated if you mention your old family, he'll bear it to a point before he snaps and goes on a long lecture of all he's doing for you and how clinging onto the past is not good for you.
At that point the headmaster steps in and drags him aside to have a few words with him and he'll come back and apologise to you over his behaviour. The next time he goes on such a rant, one look from the headmaster and He'll stop talking.
Being the headmaster's child comes with a lot of perks, teachers giving you much more respect, students also making sure they don't upset you. If even after all that a teacher or student manages to do something that makes you upset, the headmaster deals with them personally.
*In schools over here, the student council is always decided by the teachers after a few rounds of interviews and 'tests'
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crazyyluvr · 2 days
Text
Dealing With the Problem = Breaking the Problem’s Nose
pairing: remus lupin x slytherin!reader
summary: You punched another student because he was annoying. Not because you were defending Remus Lupin. Totally not.
genre: crushing, fluff?, kind of enemies to lovers but not really (reader hates Remus but Remus likes reader), sunshine x grumpy trope?
wc: 2.1k
content: reader can throw a punch, gn!reader, there’s a fight, a lot of cursing, remus gets insulted, remus is a simp fr, reader is very... salty? idk how to describe them.
note: woah, two posts in one day? so rare. I wrote this without any particular idea in mind, but I want to show my appreciation for Remus, because we love Remus <3
oneshot under the cut :: not proofread
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Remus Lupin was interesting.
He was not like his other friends; he was quiet, more reserved than them. The Marauders were the heartthrobs of Hogwarts, and Remus Lupin had his own group of “fans” that found his certain allure appealing.
You hated him.
The times when you would had the unfortunate requirement to talk to him, he was infuriating. He would send that damned smirk of his your way even when you were obviously about to blow a fuse. He would use those annoyingly smooth pickup lines on you when you were literally insulting him. He compliments you and uses pet names on you that makes other people do a double take on you from how he treated you like you two were dating.
He may have been the quieter one among his friends (besides Peter of course), but he could act as embarrassingly as Potter and Black do.
You were going to kill him someday. If he doesn’t kill you first with his smooth words and soft gaze.
As much as you hate him, your body betrays you. All the time.
Your cheeks flush when he compliments you. Your knees go weak when he calls you dove. Your brain lags when he uses one of his pickup lines that you never seem to predict.
The reactions were out of your control. I mean, if anyone else treated you the way Lupin treated you, you’d probably act the same.
Right?
Wrong, because you hate everyone besides your friends in Slytherin, no matter how kind they act towards you. Lupin just happened to take a page out of your house’s mascot and slither through your walls to become an exception.
Wrong, because you never would have punched someone purely out of instinct after a particularly horrible insult.
You were disappointed in yourself. You were doing well in restraining your anger during the past few years in Hogwarts, so why did you have to snap now out of all times?
No matter how annoyed you were at yourself, it couldn’t overpower the satisfaction you got from finally shutting Avery up.
So, how did it happen?
Let’s rewind.
—————
You were taking a stroll in the grass with Barty, who was always willing to accompany you on your spontaneous walks. The two of you were just talking about people you particularly hated in Hogwarts until you came across the two that placed particularly high on both your lists: Avery and Snape.
Being in the same house as the two vermin didn’t make you or Barty dislike them any less, especially you. You were one of the precious few halfbloods in Slytherin, and they never failed to insult you about it.
You didn’t care about blood statuses, though. But that didn’t matter do them.
They targeted you constantly, picking on you, tripping you in the hallway, spilling drinks on your back, and other petty things.
You always bit back with your words. You knew that if you tried to deal with it physically, you might be expelled from the school for violence.
Thank goodness Pandora, Barty, and Regulus ere always there to restrain you. Especially Barty. He was your closest friend, and although he wanted to beat them up himself, he didn’t want you getting in trouble.
Today seemed to be an exception.
“Oh, speaking of,” you cut Barty off, your gaze souring as you caught sight of the two you were just ranting about.
Barty followed your gaze, his lip curling in disgust. They were crowded over someone, but the tree beside them obscured your view of the victim. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, laughing wickedly and pushing the person.
“Are we going?” Barty knew you well. He knew you were going to do something about it. He just hoped that you were going to use your words instead of your fists, because he hasn't finished his strategy on how to hide bodies in school just yet.
“Unfortunately,” you sighed, picking up your pace, Barty a few feet behind you to give you space. You may hate everyone in school, but not enough to leave them in the clutches of people like Snape and Avery.
“What kind of fucked up entertainment did you two idiots decide to do today?” You called, making the two turn your way.
“Ah, just the person we were talking about,” Avery sneered. “What do you want now? You here to check up on your boyfriend?”
You furrowed your brows in confusion. You stepped to the side a little and groaned internally when you saw who Snape and Avery’s target was today: Remus Lupin.
His face was contorted in anger, his clenched fists peeking out from his slightly oversized sweater. Whatever Snape and Avery were teasing him about must have really struck a nerve in him.
“Leave them out of this,” he warned.
“What’re you going to do about it, huh?” Snape taunted him, approaching you. “C’mon loverboy. Not so strong now that your bodyguards aren’t here, ain’t that right?”
“Why don’t you boys take a break from being dickheads, yeah?” You said, testing out the chance of a diplomatic ending. “Go find some other place to dump your bullshit on, preferably the greenhouses. They could use the fertilizer.”
Avery made a beeline towards you, partially shoving Snape out of his way to grab your collar and pull you toward him. He was practically steaming.
Diplomacy was out the window, I suppose.
Barty a step towards you, as did Remus, but Snape stopped the lanky boy and you put your hand up to make Barty pause. You could handle yourself.
“You wanna say that again, bitch?” Avery seethed.
You had to restrain yourself from puking in his face after you felt drops of his saliva hit your cheeks, but you stood your ground. “I said you’re full of shit. Did some of it get in your ears or something?”
Avery looked like he wanted to hit you, but instead he leaned in your ear. You cringed at the lack of distance, but it quickly morphed into something else as he whispered, “You wouldn’t be barking as much if you let your ugly ass boytoy do the talking for you. He’s the one better with words, eh? Bet he uses them so you would want to fuck him. Tell me, is his dick as deformed as his face is?”
Avery never got his response as you reeled your fist back and let it fly, making direct contact with his nose with a satisfying crack.
—————
“I don’t believe it,” Madame Pomfrey tsked in disappointment, dabbing a paste on the bruise around your eye. You had to suppress a wince, since the rest of your body was too sore. “You should know better than to start a brawl in the courtyard.”
“They had it coming,” you muttered, making the nurse dab with a little more force than necessary. “Ouch.”
"You could have sustained worse injuries than this, stupid child!" She scolded, like a mother reprimanding a disobedient child. And like a disappointed child, you stayed silent and hung your head in slight guilt.
Only slight guilt because you still firmly believed that the two idiots had it coming to them.
You heard a moan of pain, and you could have sworn that you saw Madame Pomfrey roll her eyes. "You don't have that much severe injuries, so I'll check up on you in a while after I treat Mr. Snape and Mr. Avery."
You nodded. Before leaving, the nurse turned to Remus Lupin, who was icing a bruise on his cheek on the cot beside yours. "Watch over them, and after a few minutes, apply ice to their bruises," she instructed, and the Gryffindor nodded.
"Treasure, how're you doing?" Barty called from his cot across from you. He had sprained his ankle from kicking Snape hard in the nuts, and although he winced in pain occasionally when he moved, his grin told you that he didn't regret what he did.
"I'm okay B," you replied, grimacing slightly as one of the pulled muscles on your back acted up.
Remus noticed your flinch, and approached you worriedly. He was better off than you and Barty, the bruise on his face the only thing that he obtained from the fight. "Are you sure?" He asked, concerned. You didn't like how soft his eyes were as he gazed at you, or how your chest squeezed slightly at his worry.
"I'm fine, Lupin," you quipped, although your voice lacked its usual venom.
Remus hummed, unconvinced. He turned to the bedside and grabbed the ice that Madame Pomfrey left for you and held it out for you to grab.
You scoffed. "I said I'm fine. No need to baby me."
Remus rolled his eyes slightly. "And I don't believe you. Besides, the nurse said to ice your bruise after a few minutes. A few minutes has already passed, and frankly, she can do more damage to me than you can in this state."
You grumbled, turning your head. Your pride made you stubborn, as it did to many, but thank goodness Remus Lupin has had training in dealing with prideful companions.
He closed in on you, holding your face by the chin and tilting it towards him. You tried to fight back, but his grip was firm, so you simply sighed and resigned your fate. You could only hope that the observant boy didn't notice the warmth on your cheeks.
He gently placed the ice on your eye.
"Sorry," He murmured when you hissed at the sudden cold.
You purposefully averted your gaze from him, eyes fixated on the wheels of another cot.
That didn't stop you from spotting Remus's fixated stare on you from your periphery.
"Stop looking at me like that, Lupin," You spat, still refusing to make direct eye contact with him. "What do you want?"
"Why did you punch Avery?" He asked, finally making your eyes snap up to him. "He said something that provoked you. What did he say?"
You scoffed. "The usual bullshit that comes out of his mouth."
"I heard that."
"Fuck off," you called to the curtained cot where Avery currently resided. Madame Pomfrey hushed you disapprovingly form behind the curtains.
"I don't think that's true," Remus said, eyes narrowed as he studied you like a problem he couldn't solve, an enigma he wanted to understand.
You looked at him in silence for a moment, before heaving a sigh and looking away again. "He insulted you," you mumbled, words faint and hard to decipher, but Remus got the general meaning.
Well, judging from his grin, he got the general meaning.
"What did you say?" He asked. You looked at him, offended. Remus Lupin was teasing you.
"Clean your ears next time, Lupin," you shot a glare at him, but it didn't have as much heat behind it as you would have wanted.
"Nope, don't try to escape from this," he chuckled, using his hand on your chin to make your visible eye make contact with his brown ones again. "What did you say, dove?"
You groaned. You absolutely loved hated the effect this boy had on you.
"He insulted you, Lupin," You snapped, cheeks blazing at this point. "Happy?"
Remus's playful expression melted into one of disbelief. "You punched him because... he insulted me?"
"Salazar, you really are deaf," you rolled your eyes. "That's what I said, isn't it?"
Remus seemed to still not be able to wrap his head around the idea. You, the person he's been pining over the past few months, defended him. And got hurt because of it.
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice sincere.
Your brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you apologizing for? I started that fight with my own free will, and they deserved every cut and bruise they received."
"Amen," Barty replied. He was obviously eavesdropping on your conversation, and you couldn't say that you were surprised.
"But still." His lips tilted downwards along with his gaze. Salazar give me strength, he's pouting. "You were dragged into it when they were picking on me. I could have —"
"Yes, there are many things that you could have done, but you can't reverse time to do them now, Lupin," You said severely. "I don't need you apologizing for things I don't regret doing."
Remus looked up at you hopefully. "You don't regret defending me?"
You blinked, realizing the implications your words gave off. You played it off with a huff. "Whatever."
"You didn't deny it," Remus teased, a small smile on his face. He still felt guilty that you were hurt because you were defending him, but you didn't regret it. That had to count for something.
"Whatever, Lupin."
"Call me Remus."
"No."
"Please."
"Absolutely not."
"Dove?"
"... Fine, Remus."
"Heh, I knew you liked me."
"What — I never said I did!"
"But you never said you didn't."
"I —"
A retching noise was heard. "Ugh, your lovey-doveyness is making me sick."
"Shut up, Barty!"
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neverinadream · 2 days
Text
The Summer Of '24
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Summary: Enola Hughes skips out on the lake house for a European summer. But even being on another continent won't stop her brothers messing with her.
Paring: Nico Hischier x Enola Hughes (Fem!OC)
Requested: Nope
Song Pick: Golden Hour - Kacey Musgraves
Warnings: smau, enola is the oldest (26 yrs old), brother's friend trope, crude-ish language, secret relationship, soft launch, that should be it...
Notes: i'm not normally one for doing ocs, i just always leave them as y/n, but very little encouragement from a friend i decided on naming her. this was all thrown together quickly and i did get carried away a little bit but i hope you like it. feedback is always appreciated
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enolahughes (📍 greece)
liked by mollygrayson, trevorzegras, lhughes_06 & 32,479 others
enolahughes: one destination down, two more to go ✈️
tagged: billie_xo, mollygrayson
view all comments
_quinnhughes: pipsqueak?! 😳
user468: everyone's seeing no. 6 right???
user289: her brothers are going to love that 🤭
>liked by enolahughes<
lhughes_06: answer your phone
enolahughes: nope! whatever jack has done you can sort out yourselves like the adults you're meant to be
user368: i don't think jack did anything 🤭
>liked by enolahughes<
user429: a soft launch???
billie_xo: living out that mamma mia fantasy
mollygrayson: enola & loverboy = sophie & sky 🥰
billie_xo: i'm definitely tanya
lhughes_06: does that make me pepper?
billie_xo: then in the words of tanya, little boys who play with fire get their fingers burned
colecaufield: guys it's me
trevorzegras: you wish 💀
colecaufield: she still likes me more than you
trevorzegras: yeah but only in your dreams
user391: but who is he???
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enolahughes added to her story
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enolahughes (📍 france)
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liked by nicohischier, lhughes_06, billie_xo & 29,380 others
enolahughes: we lost molly but bonjour paris! 🥖
tagged: billie_xo
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billie_xo: i know whose baguette enola wants to see 👀
lhughes_06: and whose do you want to see?
billie_xo: can someone please come collect their child?
lhughes_06: i'm a man 😳
mollygrayson: you make it sound like i died 😭
enolahughes: we miss you every day 😭💔
billie_xo: please come back 🙏 i can't be the third wheel anymore
colecaufield: are you french? because eiffel for you
>liked by enolahughes<
trevorzegras: jack's going crazy 😂
jackhughes: just tell us who he is
enolahughes: i'm sorry, the number you have dialled is no longer available...
user378: it's definitely nico
user589: how you can you tell? 🤨
user378: a fan account posted about him being spotted in paris and enola is in paris
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enolahughes (📍 switzerland)
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liked by nicohischier, mollygrayson, user379 & 39,389 others
enolahughes: and then there was just you and me 🥰
tagged: nicohischier
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lhughes_06: i'm not mad about this
jackhughes: then it's a good thing you don't speak for the three of us 😠
_quinnhughes: good luck nico 🫡
user378: called it!!
user861: incoming bf!nico content 🙏
mollygrayson: do you know how hard it has been keeping this a secret?!!?!
enolahughes: i feel like a proud mom 🥹
>liked by mollygrayson<
user193: enola is living that brother's best friend fantasy
nicohischier: ❤️
jackhughes: dude! wtf?! my sister?!
nicohischier: the heart wants what the heart wants 🤷🏻‍♂️
jackhughes: but my sister?!
trevorzegras: can you blame him? your sister is hot bro!
>liked by enolahughes<
tmeier96: first day back is going to be interesting
jesperbratt: luke needs to make sure we have captain left by then
enolahughes: luke's confiscated his passport and hidden his car keys
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NHL Taglist: @thoseboysinblue @chilwellspulisic @lovelynikol16 @love4lando @hischierswhore
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two for one / LN4 & OP81 / Part 1
Summary: Lando x female!Australian!McLaren marketing unit worker!reader x childhood best friend!Oscar - Two Formula 1 drivers who just so happen to race for McLaren also just so happen to have fallen for you. Takes place from Australian Grand Prix 2024 to Monaco GP 2024.
Warnings: cussing, jealousy, flirty friendship, angst, manipulation, lying, OH THE DRAMA, confusion, mention of throwing up, not feeling well
Requested?: No.
Author's Note: I feel like this idea is so unoriginal but I don't care. The work of the reader is not mentioned much at all because there's no way I'm putting the energy into that.
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"We should have Oscar over!" your mother exclaims. "I'm sure he's going to b-"
"Wait, Oscar's coming over?!" your younger sister exclaims.
"No, no, no," you sigh. "He's not. Mum, he's busy. We can't be bothering him with that. He's got too much on his plate. It'll just be a burden for him."
"No, it won't! Oscar's always nice!" your sister, Ava, remarks.
You sigh. "He's polite. He's very good at being polite. But it would still be a burden for him."
"You get to see him, like, everyday-"
"Not everyday-"
"-but me and Mum haven't seen him in ages. Oscar's like an older brother!"
You roll your eyes. "I'll see what I can do."
You're surprised when it's Oscar who brings it up. A week before the Grand Prix, he comes to dinner, which is nice for your sister and mum, you suppose.
But it's after he leaves that your mum makes a comment you're not sure you like.
She sighs and says, "Oscar's so sweet, Y/n. I'm sure that boy loves you."
"Sorry?" you look up in surprise. It was said so casually, you weren't expecting such a comment.
"He's such a sweet boy," she starts, as though he's still the sweet boy from down the street that used to babysit Ava with you, and not a famous Formula 1 driver. "You've known him for so many years. I would completely approve of him as a boyfriend for y-"
"Mum, I'm twenty-two! I don't need you to approve who I date! " you sigh, rolling your eyes.
"Yes, yes, I know. But don't you see the way he looks at you? He talks of you so fondly. He's just so kind with you- extra kind. More kind than how he is with other people."
You sigh, looking down at the tablecloth, picking your nails. "Well," you murmur, "if he really feels that way, he can let me know. But for now, I'm not interested in him... I... I don't think..." your voice fades off.
"Y/n. Haven't you had a crush on him for years? What changed that?"
You shrug, and murmur embarrassed, still not looking up, "I guess I just... moved on to someone else?"
"Y/n! You have a boyfriend?" your immature sister giggles.
"No! Just friends. But... I kind of like him, and I think he might like me, too."
"What's his name?"
You clear your throat, glancing down. You're not sure how to get out of this, so you decide simply to get up, saying you'll clean the dishes.
Because you know your mother would be, to say in the least, unhappy to know that rather being interested in Oscar, you're interested more in his teammate, Lando.
Or, at least, you think you are.
As you rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, you think. Lando really is your type, in looks and personality. Everything you want in a guy. He's got a good sense of humour, a kind heart, and an adventurous spirit.
Not to say Oscar doesn't have all those things. It's just different.
Besides, you like Lando's curly hair. You like his greenish eyes and easy smile. You like his tanner skin and dark eyebrows. You like his build, you like his hands; you're just more attracted to him.
On the surface, maybe Lando and Oscar don't seem so different. But to you, one is your best friend, and the other, you want, just maybe, as a little bit more.
Are you not appreciating Oscar? You don't know.
But you sure know how you feel, and nothing is going to change that.
Or, at least, you don't think anything will.
The whole weekend after that goes as usual, but you're happy to be in yours and Oscar's homeland. After the practice sessions, you're seated, sipping from a your water bottle, when Lando plops down next to you. "Hello."
"Hey," you nod to him with a smile. "How's it going?"
He smirks like the stupid idiot he is and says, "Better, now that I'm with you."
You roll your eyes, and look up to see Oscar walking over he sits down on the other side of you, and you comment, "It's pretty crazy, isn't it?"
"What is?" Oscar asks.
"We used to play in this park, you know? Remember, dragging Ava along behind us?"
Oscar chuckles, nodding. "And my three little sisters. It was you and me, dragging around the four younger ones because our parents wanted a break."
"Yeah, your mum had Pilates or something," you joke.
He nods again with a grin. "Yeah. Probably something like that."
Then Oscar gets up and walks off, and Lando says, "So you two really have known each other forever?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Both born in Melbourne, a little over a month apart."
"So when's your birthday?" Lando inquires, crossing his arms across his chest.
"May 26. Funnily enough, that's the Monaco Grand Prix."
"Oh boy. I guess that means we'll have to drive well that weekend, even better. You know, for you."
"Yeah," you chuckle. "You're going to dedicate the whole Monaco Grand Prix to me?"
"Well, you certainly deserve it," he grins, patting your back before standing up and walking away.
Gosh, do you like both those guys so much!
"Ayy!" you grin, high-fiving Lando. "Let's go, baby! A podium. Nice job! And you too, Osc! Nice job, dude!" you add as he passes. He beams almost as big as Lando and nods, thanking you, before walking off.
"Well, what a gift," Lando winks. "To have you greet me after the Grand Prix."
"You're hopeless," you grin, rolling your eyes. "Good race, though. Solid, from both you and Oscar."
Lando suddenly wraps you in a hug, which makes your body practically turn to stone. "Thanks so much. You're so encouraging."
"O- Of course, Lando. Always."
"M-hm, and that's what I like about you," he says, pulling away from the hug, before walking off.
You're standing there, blushing softly, at the fact that Lando Norris just hugged you, when you turn your head, and, unexpectedly, see the brown eyes of Oscar lingering on you. As soon as your eyes meet, though, he swiftly turns his crestfallen face down, away from your face.
All the sudden, you feel a large, nervous stone in your throat.
Did he see you hug Lando?
Is that what that look about?
Or is he just down about not getting a podium at his home race?
Yeah, maybe that's just it. Anyone would be, right?
But, inside, you know that's not it. You know Oscar. He keeps cool. He's a good sportsman- a really good one. He's polite. He understands what had to be done.
So what's that look about?
Your brain can only reach one conclusion, and you're not sure if you like it.
Oscar takes a deep breath and starts walking toward you. Maybe it's time to say what he's thinking. If there's any chance of things going on with you and Lando, it's probably good for you to know how he feels, right? Just so there's no confusion.
At least that's what Oscar's figuring.
But, who knows, when he stands up and walks over, if he's actually going to admit it. For years, he's felt this way, and he's never had to guts to just say it, knowing you don't feel the same way.
Oscar wouldn't say he's scared of it, but he's definitely not keen on the idea of being rejected, which he assumes he likely will be.
You're just getting some coffee before you get back to your work, and Oscar, though he's really not thirsty or in want of any coffee right now, is ready to pretend he is.
The excuse is that he's tired. Perhaps it's too far-fetched, since it's pretty much a known fact throughout all of McLaren HQ that Oscar Piastri loves sleep, but-
Yeah.
He's 'super tired.'
You fill your paper cup up with coffee, in deep thought about work, and nothing else. Just as you're about to walk back to your desk and get back to the work, as you're turning around, a smooth hand grabs your forearm, and you spill your coffee on your McLaren T-shirt in surprise. "O- Oscar!" you exclaim, stumbling a bit at the utter closeness. "H- Hi!?"
"Hi," he says with earnest eyes. "I'm.... sorry."
"It's okay. Luckily it wasn't too hot. Oh well. I'll just go change; I have an extra shirt, sorry about that! Anyway, see you around!" And then you're off, leaving your half-full coffee cup sitting on the counter.
Oscar is left standing there, staring at the cup, his hand still out from where he had touched your arm.
Alright then. Well, maybe it's not meant to be.
Oscar's terrible timing is that he calls you the moment you're sitting next to Lando in his car, talking.
Lando is yapping. "-so then the girl said some spunky comment or whatever, and she reminded me a lot of you. You know, because I would've been the tough macho man in the movie that saves you from the fucking murder men, ri- Wait, who's calling?" he inquires, leaning over closer.
You laugh a bit at the interruption of his silly talking, and don't even think to not let Lando see who's calling. "It's Oscar..." you say vaguely, before looking up to meet Lando's eyes. "Why would he be calling?"
Lando shrugs, a curious streak in his expression. "Well, pick up, and see."
So you do. "Hello, Oscar?"
"I'm sorry for spilling coffee on you today," he says immediately, which causes a small laugh to escape from your lips.
"Osc, it's fine. I spilled it on myself. Did you call just to say that?"
"No," he laughs. "I was just wondering if tomorrow night you wanted to hang out or something..."
"Oh... yeah, sure, that'll work for me."
"Oh, nice. Alright. Also, one more question. I swear it's not related, either."
"Go on?"
There's a few moments of silence, before you prompt, "Oscar, are you still there?"
"Yeah. So... I was just wondering... are you dating anyone? Because. I know you and Lando are pretty close friends, and I was just wondering."
"Oh!" you say in surprise, your cheeks involuntarily going pink. And, without thinking, or considering, at all, you blurt, "No, of course not! Just friends!"
Immediately, you feel guilty.
You in no way lied, but you still feel like you just did something wrong.
Both you and Lando would say you're just friends.
But more and more, neither of you seem to want that.
And if Oscar's interested in you...
Oh, God.
"Oh, alright." He sounds somewhat relieved, which makes your heart tighten even more. "Alright, sounds good. Want me to just drive you from work? We could leave, at like, 8:00 P.M.?"
"8:00? What on earth are you doing, leaving at 8:00 in the evening?"
"I have something in mind."
"Uh?"
"You'll see. Trust me?"
"Alright," you shrug, still feeling very unsure.
"Okay. See you later, Y/n."
"Bye bye, Osc," you say, before hanging up.
The moment you do, Lando leans in close, with wide eyes, "What did he say?"
"Just wants to hang out."
One of Lando's eyebrows cock up.
"Lan," you chuckle. "That's all it is. Just like... like, how you and me just hang out."
"Mmm'kay, then..." he nods slowly. He's silent for a few seconds, before commenting. "Lan. That's cute."
"You're cute," you blurt, again, not thinking.
You really should try that more. You know, the whole thinking thing. You're sure you'd get in a lot less trouble if you used that brain of yours once in a while.
Lando immediately shows a pleased, toothy grin. "That's more like it," he comments, slipping his hand into yours, before he starts driving. "Up for an evening drive?"
"Always. Lan."
He winks, bites his lip, and gets driving.
"So, where are we going?" you ask as you walk to Oscar's car.
"I'm not telling you."
"Well, you're wearing a McLaren hoodie and grey jeans, so... somewhere casual."
"Good guess," he smiles, unlocking his car.
He opens the passenger seat door for you and as you're getting in, a piece of paper flies out of your pocket. You feel a lump in your throat as Oscar, with his quick reflexes, snatches it up off the ground.
Formula 1 drivers suck.
"Ca- Can I have that?" you ask quickly.
"Sure," Oscar says, handing it to you.
But it landed facing up. There's no way he couldn't have read the little note from Lando on it.
As Oscar walks around to the other side of the car, you read it over in your shaking hand.
You seem down today angel. If you wanna talk just find me or text me; i'm always here to listen. -lando
You feel your stomach lurch.
He even signed it with his name! The idiot!
And you weren't down! Just deep in thought! About Oscar, actually.
You let air escape from your lungs. You can feel the concern, the tenseness radiating off of Oscar as he drives, before, finally, he says, "Listen, I'm sorry for-"
"I know you read it. It's fine. It's nearly impossible not to. I would have, too."
"Angel?"
You bite your lip, looking out the window. "That's, just, uh, how Lando is..."
He regrips the steering wheel. "Y/n, you know me. If you lied on the phone, I won't be mad. I just want to know."
"I didn't lie, Osc. Lando was sitting right there when you called. I didn't lie."
"What... What were you doing?"
"Just hanging out. Just the same as what we're doing right now. You're both just my friends, okay?"
"Right," he says, but the sound barely escapes his lips, in only a whisper.
Soon, you reach the destination, and you're surprised to see it's your house. "Oscar...? Why'd you bring me home?"
"You'll see," he says with a soft smile. You both get out of the car, and he grabs some stuff from out of the trunk, before walking onto the lawn. You watch with your eyebrows scrunched together as he lays out a blanket. He sits down on it and pulls out a few little packets from his pocket.
"What's that?" you demand, still standing.
He takes your hand and gently tugs you down next to him. "Are you still a Tim Tam addict?"
You grin, holding your hand out to take a pack. "Thanks. And yes, I am."
"You're the most Aussie to ever Aussie."
"I could say the same thing about you."
Suddenly, he flops down on the blanket, laying down on his back, and you finally get the memo. "Stargazing?" you ask him carefully.
"If that's okay with you."
You grin, laying down next to him. "Why not?"
You lie there, side by side, staring up, and Oscar starts talking.
Listening to Lando is different. Lando is excited. Like he likes you so much and just wants to tell you everything. He talks a lot and makes you laugh a lot. Like, doubling over giggling kind of laughing.
Oscar makes little jokes, but just enough to make you softly chuckle. He doesn't go on and on. He pauses, as if he's thinking about what to say next. For you, that's a little awkward sometimes.
You feel awkward in silence.
But you like both of their ways of yapping.
After a while, Oscar is silent for longer than before, and you ask, "You asleep?"
He chuckles. "Of course not."
"Wouldn't put it past you," you tease.
"Fair enough..." he sighs softly, before, suddenly, you feel his warm hand brush yours. And in the dark, his fingers find yours, and he holds your hand in his.
You don't know what to feel. But surprisingly, it's something good.
His hand is smoother than Lando's, but smaller. His knuckles and veins are more defined, and his fingernails feel rougher than Lando's.
Here you are, just comparing the two.
Is that wrong?
But his hand is also radiantly warm, sending heat throughout your chilly body, causing goosebumps to appear on your arms.
You lick your lips, murmuring, "It's kind of cold. Can we go inside?"
There's a few seconds of silence from your friend next to you, before he says, "If the problem is that you're cold, I could fix that."
You look over in surprise, meeting his glimmering eyes, which appear to be merely black orbs in the darkness of the night. "How?" you venture.
Suddenly, he pulls you close to him, enveloping your body with his warm. You gasp a little, your heart rate immediately quickening. All the sudden, you don't feel so cold.
All the sudden, you get why you had a crush on Oscar for years.
All the sudden, the feelings come rushing back.
And in the light of the fact that you feel the exact same things with Lando, you have absolutely no idea what to think, feel, or do.
"So, are you, like, a bowling kind of guy?"
Lando shrugs. "I'm a you kind of guy, so any excuse I can think of to go somewhere with you, I will."
"Brutally honest, no?"
"Nothing's brutal about it," he grins, sipping from his cheap beer. He sets it down and stands up to have his go, before plopping back down on the couch next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.
"Lan," you chuckle. "You know, when you're bowling with only two people, as you've decided to do, there's not much time for cuddling in between turns." You say it lightheartedly. You don't mean anything by it.
But Lando does, apparently, because he says, "Ah, you know neither of his care about bowling. I care about you."
"Is this when I'm supposed to say I care about you, too?"
"Yeah, well, pretty much."
You lean closer, resting your head on Lando's shoulder. "I care about you, too. You're a great friend."
"Ah. Yeah, you too." He runs his hands through your hair for a while, before finally prompting you to take your turn. He stands up with you, as he has every time you've gone. You deliver the ball, but take just a step too forward, and slip.
Ah, fuck.
But suddenly, Lando grabs your wrist and pulls you back up, so you stumble right into him. He steadies you, wrapping his arms around you, and says, "Careful, there, Y/n. You okay?"
You clear your throat, blushing as butterflies swarm your stomach. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Thanks."
He smirks. "No problem. That's what friends are for, eh?"
So, they both like me. And I like both of them. They're both so different in their own ways, but I like them both for different reasons.
And both likely expect the other likes me.
But regardless, they're both getting closer and closer to me. And I'm starting to
"Y/n-"
You slam your notebook shut, looking up to see Oscar. He's brought you on a few more...
Well, if you were to call a spade a spade, you'd say 'dates.'
But you just can't do that, because then you'd be saying you're dating two guys at once.
Neither of them have officially asked you out. Neither have ever even gotten close to calling you their partner.
So, that's how you convince yourself there's nothing wrong with it.
So they're not dates. You just don't know what to call them.
Either way, since the Tim Tam Stargazing Romantically Cuddling Under The Moonlight Night, Oscar has also taken you to dinner for his birthday and to a museum.
Oscar is different. He plans stuff out and then asks you if you're available. Lando asks if you're available first, and then just sort of-
Well, you never plan with Lando. You just do and go what and where you want that day.
It's different.
And yet again, you couldn't say which you like better.
"Y/n?" Oscar repeats, sounding more concerned now, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"Oh- yeah, what?"
He sits down next to you. "I know you'll be busy, just like the rest of us, since Miami is coming up fast, but..."
You smile nervously. "Yeah...?"
"Want to come over to my flat tonight? Or something?"
You swallow a lump in your throat as the picture of Lando's text from earlier today appears in your head.
I'm feeling good for Miami. Want to come over to my place tonight?
You had said 'sure.' You knew sometime soon, plans would overlap, and...
And that time is now.
"Y/n? Are you okay?" Oscar asks, placing his hand on your shoulder. "You look pale."
"Just... uh... Lots of..." you clear your throat. "Lots of work to do before the Grand Prix. Just... you know, stressed. I don't think I'll be able to tonight. But thank you," you put on a weak smile.
Oscar's lips curl into a concerned, thin line, but he nods, taking his hand off your shoulder. "If you ever need someone to talk to, just remember- I'm right here."
Same exact words Lando says to me all the time.
"R- Right. Thank you, Osc."
He nods. "Of course."
As soon as he's gone, you text Lando, letting him know plans abruptly changed, and that you're busy tonight after all.
You end up being very busy laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, emotions swarming in your stomach as you come to the realization that you can't keep going on like this. Soon enough, you're going to either have to choose one and break the other's heart, or let go of both of them.
And for some reason, just that thought makes you start to cry.
The rush of adrenaline is enough to make you crazy. Enough to make someone do stupid things that they never, ever should.
But when Lando Norris, race winner Lando Norris, is there, in front of you, you scream his name. When he sees you, his whole face lights up, and he throws his arms around you, lifting you up. "Nice work!" You kiss him on the cheek.
He giggles. "Wouldn't have been able to do it without you and the whole team!"
"Ah, shut up and give yourself the credit for once."
He grins wider. "Yeah, I guess for once I do deserve it."
"Shut your face, loser- or, I guess, winner."
"No, you shut yours," he murmurs, and when he's sure no eyes or cameras are on you, pecks your lips, before pulling away and running off.
And you're left there, a dizzy mess of adrenaline and embarrassment.
Later, you're walking in McLaren, and suddenly, you hear Lando's voice, "Y/n, come here."
You look up to see him peeking out of his driver's room. "What?"
"Just come on. I've got something for you." He's looking at you like an excited little puppy.
You grin and shrug, walking in with him.
The door latches behind you.
"What have you got for me, Lan?" you ask, glancing around at his contained mess.
Suddenly, your back is against the wall, and Lando's face is merely inches away from yours. You gasp, staring at him, feeling his breath on your face. "This," he mutters softly, before his eyes flutter closed and his lips meet yours.
Excitement and guilt hit you at the same exact time.
But as Lando invites you, you lean into the kiss, and any thoughts of Oscar slowly leave you as you're consumed by the bliss of this intimate moment with Lando.
But when you finally pull away from each other, panting, you murmur, "We never, ever mention this again, okay, Lan?"
He just grins, his hand slowly caressing your cheek. "Of course. Friend."
You sigh shakily. "You supposed that was your little reward for winning your first race, huh? You already got a trophy."
"Ah, sure. But you're my real trophy."
Oh, Lando, and his so-called 'silver tongue.'
After literally just making out with Lando, it feels thoroughly terrible to pat Oscar's shoulder and tell him 'sorry' about P13. Yet you manage to keep composure, despite the heavy guilt, as you say, "It's just the luck of the draw sometimes, no? But there's always next race."
You want to break down crying. You want to say something, but at the same time, you don't.
You don't regret kissing Lando.
You like him.
You think you have a better chance with him than you do with Oscar.
But you like Oscar, too. And just doing that feels like...
A betrayal.
No matter how much you say you're just friends, when do labels stop counting?
Your head is absolutely spinning. You feel sick.
"Y/n, what's wrong?" Lando asks, surprised to see you sitting in the hallway outside the offices, back in McLaren HQ, hugging your knees to your chest, staring somewhat vacantly, at nothing whatsoever.
"Hm? Hi, Lando," you say tiredly.
He slips down the wall next to you and says gently, taking your hand. "You can tell me. You haven't been yourself lately."
You swallow but don't respond.
He squeezes your hand and whispers, "Was it the kiss? Y/n, I'm sorry... I didn't-"
"No, no... It's... nothing."
Lando sighs. "So I take it I won't be able to be getting you to talk, huh?"
"S'pose not..." you sigh. There's no way you're telling him. He's fifty percent of the problem.
And Oscar's the other fifty.
So he wraps his arms around you, rubbing your back softly. You automatically lean your head into his chest, and he presses his lips into your scalp, gently kissing your hair. "I'll be ready to listen whenever you're ready to talk. But if you never are, I'll be here for you anyw-"
"What the-"
Both of you look up in shock to see Oscar looking right back at you.
Oscar's teeth clench. He's usually, nearly always, such a calm person. But now he doesn't look angry. He just look deeply hurt.
You bite back a very sudden sob.
And out of his hurt, for once, Oscar Piastri doesn't think before he speaks, and the bitter words fly out of his mouth: "Alright then! Just lie to me! Just give me fucking false hope for no reason, Y/n! That's great! Thanks a lot! Thank you! Lando, why don't you keep comforting her? Clearly she'd like that much more than anything I have to offer."
And then he turns on his heel and walks away, down the hall.
"What the hell is wrong with him?" Lando snaps indignantly. "The asshole!"
Oh, Lando. He doesn't know. Not one bit.
"You stay here," he suddenly says angrily. "I'm going after him."
"Lando..." you sigh, burying your face in your hands. "Please, no..."
"Y/n..." Lando looks at you, uncertain.
You sigh again. "Okay, whatever." It's not like it can get any worse, can it?
So then Lando's off, and you're left to drown in your complete and utter regret.
Lando jogs down the hall, and the moment he sees Oscar's back in front of him, walking away from him, he calls, "Oscar, wait up."
He spins on his heel to face the Brit. His jaw is tight, and his eyes tender. "What?" he breathes.
"What the hell, man? What's wrong?"
"I'm not blind, Lando," Oscar sighs, leaning his back against the wall, shutting his eyes, tilting his face up towards the ceiling.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lando demands, facing him.
"I know you two are dating. It's fine. I was kidding myself. Playing pretend, yeah? Just like me and Y/n used to always do. It's fine. You know I'm the type of guy to adjust. I always do. That's what I've learnt. So, I wish you two luck, but I ought to be off now." Oscar then leans off the wall to keep walking away.
But Lando grabs his shoulder. "What? I still don't get it?"
"It doesn't matter. Forget this ever happened." The Australian doesn't sound bitter or angry anymore. Disappointed and resigned, for sure, but also accepting. "It's for the best. Just go comfort your girlfriend. She needs it."
"She's not- I mean- we- I-" Lando trails off, at a complete loss for words.
Oscar stares ahead, not facing Lando. "Lando, I like you. Let's not make this dramatic. I'm sorry; I slipped. Should have kept it to myself. Like I have for years. Never should have said a word."
"I..." Lando begins, but stops. "Oscar, I..."
"You don't know what to say?" Oscar asks, suddenly looking over to Lando with an actual, genuine smile on his face, surprisingly enough. "That's okay. Probably means you shouldn't say anything. Maybe you talk too much sometimes anyway."
It's just meant to me a light, friendly tease, but in this situation, it doesn't seem right. Knots twist up in Lando's stomach, and Oscar's words don't feel like a joke at all.
Lando knows more needs to be said, but there's nothing more to say.
Then, suddenly, to his somewhat shock, Lando hears your voice behind him. "Oscar," you say, walking toward the McLaren driver. You swallow. Keeping composure.
Oscar looks at you expectantly, tentatively taking a step forward, almost involuntarily.
You suddenly throw your arms around him in a hug.
"Hey, Osc," you begin whispering. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what it might look like. But me and Lando are just friends, just like you and me are just friends. Like I said before- Lando is just like that. Besides, if you saw me sad, wouldn't you help me out in just the same way?"
"I... uh... O- Of course..."
"See? So there's nothing to be upset about. I wasn't lying to you."
Oscar's unsure eyes soften, and his eyebrows scrunch together. "I- Alright... Okay. Uhm."
"I forgive you, Oscar. It's okay," you smile gently, stroking his cheek.
You want to throw up.
Y/n. You lying, evil snake. Listen to yourself. So manipulative, and for what?
To save yourself.
To save Oscar.
But it is all selfish though, isn't it?
You're just trying to cover all your bases.
You take your hand away from Oscar's warm skin and say simply, "Lando- I think my problem earlier was just that I'm not feeling very well... Must have picked up some kind of virus... I... I should be getting home now."
And you run out, leaving the two McLaren boys standing there in the hallway, both absolutely speechless.
After quite an awkward week or so, the Imola GP comes around, and, like racing always does for you, the passion is too much to let any barriers soften your excitement.
You see Oscar first, who you congratulate with a high five. But he hugs you, saying, "How are you?"
"Huh?" you ask in surprise. "Great! Another super solid weekend for the team. P4 for you!"
"Hah, yeah," he smiles. "Well, I'm glad you're doing just as good as I am."
And later, wen you see Lando, your first comment is, "You could have won this one, too!"
"I know!" he laughs. "After knowing how it feels, P2 doesn't seem so glorious."
You click your tongue. "Don't worry, Lando. It'll come."
Well, in that following week, somehow, the two busy drivers both find times to ask you out.
As friends.
Lando tries to pry out of you what really happened that day with Oscar. You refuse to say it. Say it's personal, having to do with things from yours and Oscar's childhood.
More twisting the truth.
You're starting to hate how good you are at these disgusting games.
When you go to dinner with Oscar, it hurts your heart to see how trusting he seems. Even after it all, he thinks he's the one in the wrong. And he thinks all is well. That nothing wrong is happening. He asks you one more time if you're dating Lando.
You say no.
Because you're not.
Right?
And then, it seems, before someone can say 'I'm in love with two McLaren Formula 1 drivers,' you're walking into the Monaco paddock, the week flies by so fast.
You love Monaco. Doesn't everyone? It's one of the best Grand Prixs of the season in your opinion, if not the best. The atmosphere, the sea, the people- it's all just slightly different in Monaco.
Everything shines brighter in Monaco.
And, apparently, you do, too, because both Lando and Oscar are being particularly affectionate towards you this weekend. You can't tell if you like it, or if it's stressing you out. Likely both.
"So... Piastri-Leclerc, is it?" you ask Oscar with a chuckle.
"Yeah, that's right," Oscar says with a little chuckle.
Suddenly, one of your other coworkers nudges you and says teasingly, loud enough for Oscar to hear, "Ah, Y/n, that means you'll have to be Y/n Piastri-Leclerc when you marry him. What do you feel about that?"
Before you can say anything, Lando seems to materialize out of the depths of the McLaren garage to comment, "You know, Y/n Norris has got a lot better ring to it."
"The confidence!" your coworker laughs at Lando as Lando laughs genuinely and you and Oscar likely laugh more nervously than anything else.
That night, as you lay in the bed in your hotel room, you're having a sinking feeling, deep down in your chest, that soon enough, you'll have to choose.
You'll have to make a decision.
If you keep up this game any longer, one of you are going to get killed in the process.
You just have to be honest.
Who do you love more? Who would be better for you?
You've known Oscar longer. You connect with him better.
But you enjoy being with Lando more. You have more of the same interests.
Lando is always positive and confident. Oscar is always sensible and even-keeled, relaxed, and calm.
Lando's wild card or Oscar's solid rock?
They both care for and about you so, so much.
Oscar for all these years, was too scared to admit how he felt to you, and was only convinced to confess it when he saw how you and Lando were with each other.
So, essentially, jealousy was what convinced him to admit his feelings.
He hasn't even admitted it.
Lando has, many times. You've got Lando's number. He's straight with you. He's not scared to say it.
But at the same time... you've never believed in soulmates, but there's definitely something to the story of your life, and the way it always seemed to result in Oscar. He was always the one at the end of every tunnel.
You've known Oscar for a lifetime. You've known Lando for... what, two years?
You sigh deeply.
What the hell?
"P2, Oscar! P2! In Monaco!"
He's laughing as you throw your arms around him this time. Lando's there, patting him on the back. "Nice job, mate," he congratulates.
"Yeah, mate! Nice job is right!" you giggle.
Oscar leans away, beaming.
Then, as soon as Lando walks off, Oscar kisses your cheek gently, just letting his soft lips brush your cheek.
Your breath catches in your throat.
"Would it... would it be okay if I kissed you later? For real?"
You swallow. "We'll see about that."
But Oscar just smiles. "Will I have to wait until I win a race, too, to get a kiss out of you?"
You laugh, but a lump rises in your throat.
Why is he talking as if he knows?
"Y- Yeah," you breathe. "I reckon so."
He nods and leans away. "Well, happy birthday, Y/n! I've got something for you!" He's about to pull you by your hand, when suddenly, another hand grabs your other hand.
"Wanna see your birthday gift, Y/n?"
You look up to see Lando.
Literally, both of them, about to pull you separate directions.
Yeah, you think almost scornfully, That's right. You can each have a hand.
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spookykoolkat · 2 days
Text
nsfw 18+ just porn w no plot LOL
minors do not interact
plus size reader x joel miller drabble
warnings - 18+ only, plus sized reader, described as thick and bigger, breeding kink, p in v without protection (please wrap it up), just explicit content overall !
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joel miller appreciates a beautiful woman. what you didn't know, is he also appreciated a beautiful, bigger woman. to think you could ever pull joel miller was beyond you, until it happened. now, joel miller doesn't want anything more than to lay in bed with you to memorize every single freckle, stretch mark, roll, dip, and curve.
you've had selfish lovers, none of which will ever be joel. because joel isn't selfish, in fact he'll put hours into making you feel good and won't let you be on your knees to take him in for more than 5 minutes.
"baby," you whined, pressed up against the wall of his brothers bedroom. it was supposed to be a barbecue, house warming type of party for the neighbors and the close friends. he swore he would be on his best behavior, nothing to not focus on the fact that tommy and maria will be welcoming a little girl in less than two months.
his lips are on your neck, kissing and sucking as his hands squeeze at every part of you. he couldn't focus. how could he? he's still a man at the end of the day. and to see you in a dress that hugged at your waist and flowed down your hips, stopping at your upper thigh—he's still a man.
"i gotta feel you baby, i promise i'll make it quick okay? please baby? can ya let me make my sweet girl cum? need to see that pretty face, feel how needy that little cunt is f'me," he slurred, drunk off your scent and already letting his fingers slide up your thigh and feeling the wet spot forming on your panties.
something about you drove him crazy over and over again. and he's reminded every time he's around you. you're so fucking nice. you would do anything for anyone you loved, you hand made gifts for people when you couldn't afford much, you cooked for people and offered to clean their houses when they couldn't — something you didn't need to do. but wanted to.
so kind, thinking of others, nervous and antsy, and somehow you managed to settle right here with joel between your legs. how did he get so lucky? to have a woman who would put up with his trust issues and hesitation of meeting new people? to think of others and not what they could do to harm you instead.
you loved joel's fingers. you loved joel. especially when he made you feel beautiful over and over again, when he knew how to touch you and where exactly to touch you. like now, as his finger tips slowly stroke your clit with your slick, he watches you. it's his favorite thing to do.
"yeah, baby i know, i know," he whispers, a small smirk playing on his open mouthed lips, his cock throbbing painfully the more you contort your face and moan for him.
his favorite thing? to watch you cum. it's the moment it begins to peak for you, and your eyes start to flutter close even as he tells you to watch him.
"look at me baby, don't close those pretty eyes, i need to see ya cum for me, cum around my fingers," he breathes heavily, his fingers dipping inside your tight hole that never fails to make him gasp.
joel could let you stay on his fingers until the end of time, feeling how your slick drips down his hand and makes the filthiest of noises, letting him know it was all his. your eyes always pulled him in, and easily he could read the pleasure all over your face.
your eyes struggled to stay open, fluttering and yearning for him to make you release all over him. all you had to do was look into his eyes — the lust, the admiration, the adoration, everything he felt for you was on display and you felt it. his lips turned upwards as he noticed the glisten in your eyes, silently begging him.
"you're everything i need, you know that right? you were fucking made for me, sugar," your hands flew into his grown out hair and tugged.
"fuck me, joel please, please," you gasped, feeling your stomach turn as your release comes quickly, until he slips his fingers out of you and grabs you, pushing you onto the bed bent over.
"baby, it hurts," you cry, gripping the sheets as your cunt throbs and aches from the neglected orgasm. you craved it, you would've done anything to cum for him.
joel couldn't help but smile as he tugged down his jeans and boxers, releasing his painfully aching cock.
you were his, undoubtedly. the sweetest girl, kindest, most generous and selfless person, his sunshine. you were all his, and no one will ever get to see you the way he does, not like this. he knew it, you knew it. you knew he ruined you for anyone else.
"i'll make it feel better, sweetheart, i promise, let me feel ya," his hands grabbed at the thickness around your waist, squeezing and rubbing as he lands a few taps on your ass.
he didn't bother to tease you anymore, his cock prodding at your sopping hole that he couldn't get enough of. after every time you've let him inside of you, the stretch he gave was just like the first time.
you cried out for him, whining for him to fuck you how he wanted, to make you feel good and for someone who was such a sweet, shy girl—something in joel brought it out of you.
he slid his length fully into you, groaning at the feeling of your ass pressed against him, covering his bottom half fully and having your tight cunt wrapped around him. his urge to fuck you until you knew you were never going anywhere without him caught up to him.
"oh, oh fuck baby," he groaned, pulling almost completely out until you took a breath, and slammed himself back into your cervix. if you were trying to keep it quiet now, you failed.
luckily for you, upstairs wasn't crowded as it was downstairs with the music, the people, the drunks.
your cries and moans only turned him on more, the way your dress rode up your ass and to your thick waist, how you practically laid and gave yourself to him how he wanted. for some reason, he'd never felt more primal than he did now. he wanted to claim you, to keep you, and the pure thought of ever being fucking stupid enough to lose you to another man only makes him desperate for you to know that.
he slips out of you for a moment, making you whine as he flips you over and crawls right between your plentiful thighs to spread you open and see all of you.
"pretty fuckin' pussy, look at ya, fuckin' cryin' f'me, got such a wet cunt and it's cause of how much you want this cock," he boasts, moving his hand from your thigh to your chest, squeeze your breasts as he goes down to rub over the stomach you tended to hide more often than not, just to reach your throbbing clit.
"baby, please, i can't, y-you said it would be quick," you said breathless, hoping to catch a breather before you feel his massive length practically in your throat. he never failed to make you feel good, and you loved him for it.
his fingers gathered your slick between the fat of your lips and slid them up to your clit, rubbing firm circles as he watched you shut your eyes and cry again. he loved how sensitive you were, how vulnerable you were.
"guess i'm a bad man for lyin' huh? let me make it up to you, let me make this little cunt feel good, yeah baby? how's that sound? you can have your cock in my little cunt," he grunted as he slid back inside of you, still rubbing on your sore nub.
your eyes opened up to the ceiling of tommy and maria's bedroom, looking around in a haze to see photos and framed pictures of the family, of you and joel. he was yours too. all of him was yours and it didn't help the situation between your legs. but you couldn't refocus until joel grabbed your cheeks and turned your head to face him, pressing his body into yours with your legs on his shoulders.
"answer me baby, how's this cock feel in this tight fuckin' pussy?" he groaned as he bucked his hips fully into you, sliding out and thrusting harder. you couldn't speak, actually. your voice was caught in your throat, it was unbelievably erotic how he had you folded in half as he pounded your cunt until it was sore.
"f-feel, feels, mmugh, feels-," your eyes did it again, they fluttered and went blurry as you tried to keep eye contact with joel, but it was almost impossible. he had you stuck by your cheeks gripping your jaw, pounding all of himself into an angled position.
"fuck baby, this is my fuckin' pussy, you know that? all. fuckin'. mine." he almost growled, he nearly sounded like he was angry trying to claim you.
you could only barely nod, nothing but whines and desperate moans flowing from your lips. ones you couldn't even control if you wanted to. the sound of his cock slipping in and out of your count drew you mad, throbbing around his length was what was telling him you were close.
"what if i filled this pretty pussy up, huh? let me bust my load inside of this sloppy cunt? you want me t'put a baby in this tummy, mama?" he was spurring himself on, the thought of you pregnant with his child was too inviting he couldn't deny himself.
it did something to you too. your cunt spasmed around his cock before you could even register what was happening, and you let out a stressed cry, a moaning mess as you gushed over him.
it was enough force to nearly push him out of your hole, but he kept up with his pace as he smiled and fucked you even harder, faster and with more passion.
"you fuckin' liked that, yeah? i know you want me t' knock ya up, let everybody know you're carryin' my fuckin' kid, i'm the one who did this, baby." you were chanting his name incessantly, scratching at his skin and legs shaking as his cock became too much for your abused pussy.
"please, cum in me, breed me, fill me up, need it, wanna be pregnant for you, put a baby in me," you were slurring, and you pulled his hand from your cheeks and stuck your tongue out, putting his two fingers in your mouth and sucking. he almost went insane, watching you wrap your mouth around his fingers the way you do when you take his cock on your knees.
he's overly obsessed with you. he'd kill for you. he'd die for you. he'd sacrifice his entire world for you, if it meant you were his.
"you'd be such, fuck sweetheart fuck, such a pretty fuckin' mama," he whined into your ear as he leaned down and left kisses on your cheek.
he felt his balls tighten up, his thrusts getting sloppy and sloppier as his pants and moans become whinier.
"please, please give me your cum, make me a mama, please," you cried, feeling your own release creeping up your spine again. you moved his fingers to your clit, and he sat on his knees as he spread your legs again, finding your clit and rubbing sloppily as he finally released inside of you.
you felt the warmth of his cum spreading inside of you, rope after rope of him sticking to your warm walls, and combined with his sloppy fingers it made your cunt tighten, a sharp and short release finding you again.
joel groaned at the feeling, making sure he fucked his cum into you as you climaxed again and making sure it sticks.
he stayed inside of you a while, just looking at you and your figure, the way your eyes struggled to stay open long enough to keep eye contact with him. he was in love with you, he didn't see how anyone couldn't be.
joel moves again and you whine, eyes meeting his as he apologizes. "sorry baby, i'm just hopin' i see a little version of us runnin' around in approximately nine months."
you sheepishly laugh, moaning when he finally slips out of you and spreads your cunt to see a mixture of your cum leaking out of your hole.
"please come clean me up so we can go home and fuck in our own bed. and we need to burn these sheets. maria is going to hate me if she finds out i got pregnant in her house."
thanks 4 reading i know i havent posted in forever but i couldn't get this out of my mind because joel miller is a fat girl worshipper and i will die on that hill. okay thanks 4 everything pls like and share :p
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