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luffyvace · 20 days

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Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~

Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!

this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man

Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦‍♀️😑😂’ yk?

he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥

now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕

he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️

HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍

Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away

He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P

his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.

literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)

now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣

his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗

ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.

He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌

he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭

WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR

(yes it’s canon 😞)

you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way

Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)

his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑‍🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷‍♀️

whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋

undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’

Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂

dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???

I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)

i love how shameless this guy is

why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿

ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗

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ghostflowerdreams · 11 months

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Audio Drama Recommendations, Pt. II

For part one, click here. I went on another audio drama binge and I found some that were pretty fun to listen to. I usually tend to go after the ones that are completed because the longer the wait, the more likely I will forget the details, but this time I just went for anything that caught my attention. This also isn’t in any particular order.

The Magnus Archives – is a horror fiction anthology podcast written by Jonathan Sims, directed by Alexander J. Newall, and distributed by Rusty Quill.

The new Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Jonathan Sims, attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of people’s testimonials of their encounters with the supernatural up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. [COMPLETED]

It has five seasons, each 40 episodes long, as well as additional content such as Q&As, non-canon fan-submitted statements and one-off episodes that tie in with Rusty Quill's other podcasts.

It does start out slow and maybe at some point you’ll be wondering where is this going and what does some of these episodes have to do with the overall story, but it does all eventually connect. Your patience will pay off because once the build-up is done it picks up and things get really interesting!

Unwell – is a horror podcast starring Clarisa Cherie Rios and produced by Hartlife NFP.

The story follows Lillian Harper who has returned home to Mt. Absalom, Ohio to care for her estranged mother Dorothy after an injury. Living in the town's boarding house which has been run by her family for generations, she discovers conspiracies, ghosts, and a new family in the house's strange assortment of residents. [ONGOING]

This audio drama has five seasons which runs for 12 episodes. It currently has 54 episodes in total and each one is about 20-30 minutes long. New episodes are released fortnightly (biweekly) on Wednesdays. They take a mid-season break between episodes 6 and 7.

Bridgewater – is a supernatural thriller audio drama produced by Grim & Mild and by iHeartRadio, created by Aaron Mahnke and written/directed by Lauren Shippen.

Folklore professor Jeremy Bradshaw is pulled into the mysterious 1980 disappearance of his police officer father, Thomas, by new evidence that threatens to upend decades of certainty. Along the way, he’s helped by some unlikely partners who challenge everything he believes in, and ultimately tries to answer the question: can the past actually be rewritten?

Together with his father’s former partner, retired Detective Anne Becker, Jeremy must chase the clues that will tell him whether his father really did fall victim to a Satanic cult in the Bridgewater Triangle—or something much more dark and unexplainable. [ONGOING]

It has two seasons, the first consist of 10 episodes and the second has 12 episodes. Each one runs about 20-30 minutes long. Season three was put on hold when there was news of a possible television series. However, that fell through and by then everyone was working on other projects. So a season three, well, that’s pretty much up in the air.

It stars Misha Collins (Supernatural), Melissa Ponzio (Teen Wolf), Nathan Fillion (Firefly, The Rookie), Karan Soni (Deadpool), Kristin Bauer (True Blood), Hilarie Burton Morgan (The Walking Dead, One Tree Hill), Wil Wheaton (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Jonathan Joss (The Magnificent Seven, Parks and Rec) and Lori Alan (Spongebob Squarepants, Family Guy).

The Lovecraft Investigations -- is a mystery thriller/horror fiction podcast written and directed by Julian Simpson, based on several works of H.P. Lovecraft. It’s produced by Sweet Talk Productions for BBC Radio 4. It concluded with three seasons and each episode is about 25-30 minutes long. There might be a fourth season in the works, but even if there isn’t the series is considered to be finished.

The first season starts off with an investigation into the disappearance of a young man, Charles Dexter Ward from a locked room in an asylum. [COMPLETED]

It stars Barnaby Kay (Shakespeare in Love), Jana Carpenter (Doctor Who), Nicola Walker (MI-5, Unforgotten), Mark Bazeley (The Queen, The Bourne Ultimatum), Phoebe Fox (Eye in the Sky, The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death), Steven Mackintosh (Rang De Basanti, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), Samuel Barnett (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Penny Dreadful), Alun Armstrong (Sleepy Hollow, The Mummy Returns), Adam Godley (The Great, The Umbrella Academy), and so on.

Midnight Burger – is a monthly sci-fi audio drama about a diner at the end – and somehow the beginning – of the universe.

When Gloria took a waitressing job at Midnight Burger outside of Phoenix, she didn’t realize she was now an employee of a time-traveling, dimension-spanning diner. Every day Midnight Burger appears somewhere new in the cosmos along with its staff: a galactic drifter, a rogue theoretical physicist, a sentient old-timey radio, and some guy named Caspar.

No one knows who built Midnight Burger or how it works, but when it appears there's always someone around who could really use a cup of coffee. Come by any time, we open at six. [ONGOING]

The audio drama currently has three seasons and each episodes averages about 30 minutes to an hour or so.

Rex Rivetter: Private Eye – is a 1950s-style noir detective audio drama written by Greg McAfee, directed by Rhiannon McAfee, and produced in San Diego, CA by Downstairs Entertainment with editing and sound design by Steve Murdock. The Rex Rivetter theme “Nightmare” by the Artie Shaw Orchestra is used with permission of Music Sales Corp.

The year is 1955. Tinsel town. The land of make-believe. It's a time of growth in American prosperity. Especially in Los Angeles. Here, dreams are bought and sold.

But there's a seedier side to the City of Angels, the shadows where pimps and narcotics pushers live, where organized crime stands just around every corner with one hand out, and the other wrapped around a roscoe. It's a city full of fancy dames and slick cons, where bookies know the vig, so you better, too.

Some folks call it noir or pulp fiction. But for a private eye named Rex Rivetter, it's home. [ONGOING]

It has four seasons and each one runs about 20-30 minutes long. Due to the pandemic, it is still unknown if season five will ever come out and so far there hasn’t been any news about it either.

Mansfield Mysteries – is a satirical, cozy murder whodunit written by Amy Henson, directed by Nicholas Hoyt and produced by The QuaranTeam.

It follows the inquisitive, martini-loving socialite Dorinda Mansfield and is set in quiet, affluent Berkshire Bay. So far it only has one season, which contains nine hilarious episodes, each three-chapter story finds Dorinda wrapped up in a new murder. With the help of her devoted daughter, Stacey—as well as the occasional frenemy—Dorinda digs for clues, navigates Berkshire Bay’s elite social circles, and sifts through years’ worth of grudges and motives. In this company town, no one can be trusted, and everyone has something to hide.

Whether at the Labor Day Extravaganza, the Halloween Tennis Club Open, or secret karaoke night, Dorinda sets out to find the real killer before they get away with murder… Just as soon as she orders her martini! [COMPLETED]

If you’re looking for a bite-sized audio drama, this might be for you. It has three seasons (or chapters) and each one only takes three episodes to complete its tales, which is fun, amusing and will keep you entertained while you’re working on something or resting your eyes.

The Call of the Void – is an indie science fiction mystery audio drama created and written by Josie Eli Herman and Michael Alan Herman. It’s produced by Acorn Arts & Entertainment. It contains three seasons of 28 episodes and each one is about 25-30 minutes long with a cast of about 35 actors.

In the bustling streets of New Orleans, a tour guide and a palm-reading outcast team up to unravel the mystery behind cases of sudden insanity besetting the city. [COMPLETED]

Wolf 359 – is a science fiction audio drama created by Gabriel Urbina and produced by Gabriel Urbina and Zach Valenti under Kinda Evil Genius Productions. It consists of four seasons with 61 episodes in total and each one is about 25-40 minutes long.

It is set on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus space station orbiting the star Wolf 359 on a deep space survey mission. The dysfunctional crew deals with daily life-or-death emergencies, while searching for signs of alien life and discovering there might be more to their mission than they thought. [COMPLETED]

#audio #podcasts #audio drama #podcast #listen #audio dramas #the call of the void #wolf 359 #mansfield mysteries #midnight burger #the lovecraft investigations #the magnus archives #bridgewater podcast #unwell #unwell podcast #rex rivetter: private eye

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smbyt · 1 year

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My favorite Phantom fanfictions' list

Some Phantom fictions (of course, ��t’s Erik x Christine) that always make my day, i want to share them with you guys because i extremely love them!!! I will list the stories by their authors. They’re my favourite author in Phandom!!!

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Writer SloaneDestler: she is the first author who made me fall in love with Phantom fanfic, she has a lot of amazing fictions but i just list some of my most favourite (Grrrr, i want to list all of her works!!!)

Second Chances: the first long fic I have read in phandom. Christine was pregnant with Raoul's child but was abandoned, so she returned to find Erik. In this story I really like how Erik reacted and treated Christine so well, especially at the end when Raoul met her again. The love development between the two is amazing, I fall in love with the way Sloane built it. I spent a whole week reading it and it really wasn't a waste of time! I won't spoil anything more, hope everyone will enjoy this story!

All Our Times Have Come, oneshot: Christine and her strange neighbor, it’s a dark fic which provoke some thoughts inside my mind =)))) well, kinda say Sloane did very well at building this Erik’s personality. He’s very mysterious, especially very attractive. I love how Christine reacted to Erik, she was both wary and attracted to him. You should read this fic when you find interested in dark fic, otherwise I hope you will be fine after reading it.

Joyeux Noël, oneshot: LET! GIVE! THIS! FIC! A! HUGE! ROUND! OF! APPLAUSE! This one is when Christine and Erik had their first Christmas together. But! But! But! Erik’s gift for Christine just makes me want to bite his arse!!!! Yo man??? Why???? Let read that fic and bite his ass with me, mate!

Those above fics is my favourite, besides, you can also find some of those fics’ related ones in her dashboard. I recommend you should read all of her fics, they’re just amazing UwU

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Writer MadameDestler: I’m a starving one for her fics, I have read all of hers and I have to tell you that if I can, i’ll list all of her fics. I’LL BARK FOR YOU, MY MATE!!!

The Phantom's Atonement, long fic: this one is a MASTERPIECE!!!! Christine was kidnapped by Erik (again) after we-all-know that night. The way he was healing by himself and another character can make you cry (and me either, because it recalled some of my memories about my toxic relationship so I don’t dare to read that again. But it really worth reading mate, you will miss a masterpiece if you don’t read it!). Also, the plot is really amazing, I can say this Erik is really stubborn but that makes me love him. Let’s read it to see how Erik apologized Christine and how he tried to do that =))))))))))

A World with No More Night, long fic: You can see some of my sketches about this fic in here, I couldn’t stop smiling when I read it and giggling like a girl in love @@ I'm really at peace while they two ran away from the Opera House. A little spoiler, when Christine miscarried, I cried a lot and Brianna (author's name in case you didn't know) did a great job at this part. She made me burst into tears because of her arrangement of ideas and story scenes.

Speak, oneshot: yo man, this one is really spicy spicy but dark, its plot twist made me cry @@ hm… but you know, I love the idea of Erik bathing Christine =))))))))

Locusts, oneshot: don’t ask me =))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) it’s damning hilarious, just read it and enjoy the cuteness of Erik =)))))))))))))

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Other author:

Unsung of wheel_of_fish, long fic: Christine could not speak anymore after that fated night. This fic made I almost transform into a river of tears because I feel so related (i know, I cry with almost fics, sorry for my sensitive mind) because I was unable to speak for a month due to depression too! And the way the author portrays Christine exactly makes me feel very sympathetic and makes the story more real. The context of the story is also expansive and incredibly beautiful. I enjoyed the way Piangi was considered and especially the resolution and plot of this story. The tension between Christine and Erik is also notable, not to mention Christine's character development. Besides the characters (which are very like the original story's), the way the author describes the scene is also incredibly unique and wonderful. I can imagine every single breathtaking scene of it.

Pilgrim Soul of Mertens, long fic: this is modern au where Christine is a nurse and Erik is a fucking rich man. It’s both emotional and funny, the plot and character development amazed me too. I love the way Erik bribes people and love his passion for traveling (and fear of death) too. It made me think Erik was very human (and funny). Christine was very realistic as well as pitiful, I was just a little heartbroken that Christine wasn't decisive from the start but can't blame her either, yeh? Anyway, Mertens has a lot of Phantom fictions, I read several and they’re really amazing for us to read within our starve of fiction.

Sacred of TryingNotToLoveYou, long fic, alternative uni: LET ME TELL YOU GUYS, THIS CHRISTINE IS REALLY BADASS!!! She dug her nails into the rapist's crotch and squeezed it harshly! =))))))))))))))))) In this fic, Erik is a priest and he had to learn how to swim :')))) I love the plot so much but it hasn't finished yet huhu

Want some extremely spicy fic? Let’s go and find catcorsair! Last Night in Paradise is my favorite of their fics. Urggggg, it’s just soooooo goooddddd. This Erik is a real madman, guy!!!! I don’t know what to say more, it’s just a masterpiece! No, all of catcorsair’s fics are just masterpieces!!!

Be My Guest of pianomanblaine, long fic, Beauty and the Beast AU: I can say this fic makes my heart melt! Christine and her father were still together at the end of this fic and the tension between Erik and Christine is just so amazing!!!!!! asdjfajsdhfakjdsfhajdh!!! I love how Erik from a grumpy man became a super-love-wife husband =)))))))))) His character development was really amazing too, not to mention the scene where Christine had an argument with him and she ran away from him, I! CAN! SAY! THAT! FREAKING! BEAST! WAS! BECOMING! A! PRINCE!

#erik the phantom #erik x christine #erikstine #erik phantom #christine daaé #christine daae #phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera #phantom list #fanfic #poto #poto fanfiction #favorite fanfics #my favorite

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frodo-with-glasses · 8 months

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More Reading Thoughts: A Long-Expected Party

There’s something so incredibly endearing about the slow, meandering beginning of LotR.

Even today—in a day and age when every author tries to grab you by the eyeballs in the first five words—Tolkien’s writing still has that gentle, irresistible draw that takes you by the hand and leads you slowly but surely into adventure. Something about a “birthday party of special magnificence” just appeals to all our inner children, I think; and the tiny mysteries, and the joy of a world of fantastical creatures living in peace and comfort, just adds to that. You want to go to Middle Earth, and you want to get lost in it. It’s like a lazy river at a water park; you wade in, get settled, and relax, and the next thing you know you’re far away from where you started.

All of that to say, Tolkien’s writing is goals and I aspire to be even a fraction of what this man was someday.

Anyway. To the bullet points!

Isn’t it hilarious how quick people are to begrudge one another their good fortune?? If Bilbo had been poor and died in a timely manner his neighbors would probably have liked him just fine, but he gets a lot of wealth and lives a long time and all the hobbits go >:-(

They’re not wrong to be suspicious, of course, but it’s still a biting social commentary. And very funny!

“As Mr. Baggins was generous with his money, most people were willing to forgive him his oddities and his good fortune.” 🤣

“You should come live with me so we can celebrate our birthday parties more comfortably together” belongs in the same category as C. S. Lewis’ “and they got so used to arguing that they married each other to keep doing it more conveniently”

“And suddenly, all the old people found that everyone actually WANTED to hear their rambling stories!”

GAFFER GAMGEE MY BELOVED

Hobbits are all so terribly prejudiced. What endearing morons.

Ooh, confirmation that Bilbo and Frodo look similar!

“There never was much to tell of him! … Till he was drownded.” “DROWNDED??”

I love that the only things we know about Drogo Baggins are that he was unremarkable and fat and married a strange woman

The Gaffer: “Thank goodness Mr. Bilbo saved young Mr. Frodo from those strange, dastardly Bucklanders…”

Meanwhile, Merry feels his eye Twitch and doesn’t know why 🤣

The spelling of jewels as “jools” is adorable for reasons I can’t describe

Tiny Gaffer Gamgee saw Bilbo come home from his Adventure!!

The Gaffer’s words are strangely prophetic. Sam did indeed land in trouble that was bigger than him—and thank goodness he did.

The Gaffer basically says here “if generosity is being strange, we could do with a lot more strangeness!” and honestly that’s a motto I want to live by

I love that Sam is most likely the one who started the rumor about the fireworks X-D

I wish we’d gotten to see the Dwarves visiting Bag End in the movies. It’s a shame they were cut. Imagine what cool costumes they could have had!

“G for grand!” and Gandalf’s smile. Ugh, my heart 🥹

Pity that September 22nd fell on a Friday this year. We were so close to it being a Thursday, like in the book! Oh well. Try again another year, I guess X-D

Are small business owners grumbling about your purchases from foreign parts?? Here’s an easy solution! Just BUY OUT THE STOCK OF EVERYONE FOR MILES AROUND IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS

Also the fact that the post offices are absolutely flooded 🤣 Bilbo, you madlad

“Old Gaffer Gamgee stopped even pretending to work on his garden” LOL

The brief paragraph of NOOO BAD WEATHER THE DAY BEFORE THE PARTY is honestly spectacular. It’s so nerve-wracking for just a second there—which is hilarious in light of the war and death and GIANT SPIDERS we’re going to read about. I think it has a flavor of Tolkien’s beliefs on eucatastrophe hidden in there—it’s not out of Bilbo’s own effort that the weather cleared up just in time for his party, it was just happy providence—but I’m too tired to write an essay about it right now.

“Half the Shire’s been invited…and the rest of them are turning up anyway!”

The hobbits who came through the gate again to get a second present 🤣🤣🤣

“The hobbit-children were so excited that for a while they almost forgot about eating.” That’s impressive!!

I love that some of the toys are dwarven-made. That’s such a cool detail that makes the world seem both fantastical (because dwarves!) and real (because you can Amazon order toys from them!) at the same time.

The names of the fireworks!! Especially the ones that are onomatopoeia, like “backarappers”! It just makes brain go ✨✨✨

Pfffft, yellow rain

There’s the express train reference!

Notable difference here: in the movies, the big dragon firework was set off ahead of schedule by Merry and Pippin, and all the hobbits freak out. In the book, the big dragon firework is set off right on time to signal supper, and all the hobbits freak out (but are immediately pacified by food).

Small detail I’d like to see in more fanfics: “Bilbo had been specializing in food for many years, and his table had a high reputation.” Yes, the idea of Bilbo and Frodo eating like the bachelors they are is hilarious, BUT! We have textual evidence to the contrary! I don’t know if this line means that Bilbo was a magnificent cook himself or simply hired magnificent cooks, but either way, it’s canon that the Bag End bachelors ate like kings!

“The feast was so incredible that everyone was incredibly full and took home leftovers and no one bought any new groceries for weeks. The good news is that Bilbo had bought out all the grocery stores anyway, so it was fine.”

Why is the detail about the golden buttons on Bilbo’s waistcoat so enchanting to me?? I really think this chapter just activates the Inner Child Mode in my brain, and suddenly even something as simple as shiny buttons becomes beautiful and magical. Also it’s just a lovely way to paint a vivid picture in my mind.

I’m so glad they kept so many of the jokes in Bilbo’s speech for the movies 🤣 “PROUDFEET!!”

And now here we see Tolkien, author of the fantasy epic that has defined the genre for a century and counting, unironically using caps lock. Folks, you can’t make this crap up.

The sneaky way Tolkien says Bilbo vanished before he mentions the flash of light is Very Good and hints at the fact that there’s something else at work here

Rory Brandybuck is the G.O.A.T.

“But at the same time he felt deeply troubled: he realized suddenly that he loved the old hobbit dearly.” Aww, Frodo…

Incredible that the debate between Bilbo and Gandalf over the Ring takes up almost four pages, but it doesn’t feel like it. Excellent suspense.

I wonder where Gandalf is going “to bed”. It doesn’t look like he’s staying in Bag End, so did he get a room at an inn somewhere? Is he sleeping in his cart??

Also it’s implied later in the book that Gandalf the White doesn’t sleep. Inconsistency?? A slight untruth?? Secret powerup to Gandalf the White that we’ve overlooked??

“The sun rose. The hobbits rose rather later.” Pffft

The SHADE in all the presents oh my WORD

Except for the ones for the poorer hobbits. Bilbo’s gift for the Gaffer is so simple in its contents, and yet so generous and thoughtful 🥹

MERRY MY LAD

MY FAVORITE HOBBIT (don’t tell the others)

How old would Merry have been here?? Like nineteen?? Incredible that he was already such a logistics guy that Frodo trusted him to keep an eye on the house while all the chaos is happening.

“Do you hear that, Merry? That was an insult, if you like.” “It was a compliment, and so, of course, not true.” HAHAHAHA DRAG HIM MERRY

“IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN, FRODO, I SHALL BLOW YOUR DOOR RIGHT DOWN YOUR HOLE AND OUT THROUGH THE HILL” 🤣🤣🤣

Frodo: “I’m so sorry, I thought you were Lobelia!” Gandalf: “Understandable, have a nice day”

“I would give them Bag End and everything else, if I could get Bilbo back and go off tramping in the country with him.” N’aww, Frodoooo 😭

“Look out for me, especially at unlikely times!” Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.…

“Frodo did not see him again for a long time.” Ooh, ominous.

#chapter review #gaffer gamgee #bilbo baggins #gandalf #frodo baggins #meriadoc brandybuck #merry #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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starting a tag game for writers

Hi, it's Asmi! Okay, so, I've seen so many people afraid to start/continue writing because they're afraid it'll be garbage. And it's so sad how much joy and creativity is getting lost because of that fear. I've written utter shit before, and looking back on it is actually hilarious, and also, it's a reminder of how far I've come as a writer.

I really, really want people to be less afraid of the written word and of creating, and to get rid of that aura of mystery and elitism that often covers the writing process. Writing is messy and it's hell and it's torture. And it's amazing.

So here's the tag game:

Give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you love [fiction, non-fiction, from different works or the same, from completed stories or poems or WIPs, from yesterday or ten years ago] that you love. If that seems hard, even one will do. It doesn't have to be perfect. It can just be something silly that gives you joy.

And give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you dislike and find shitty. Anything at all as long as you wrote it. If you think it's ridiculous or absolute fucking garbage, even better! That's the point of this game. To see that we all write good things and bad things. Yeah? You can do this. And remember that both these categories are subjective.

I'll start. It's not as scary as it seems, I promise.

Things I've written that I find shitty:

The first man grabbed him by his collar, pinned him against the wall of the cave in which they were standing, and spat, “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done before. If the Queen’s not in the graveyard tonight, King Baza’s going to plan a most delightful execution for you. And even if he doesn’t, you being his nephew and all, I will arrange an accidental blowing up of your house when you are, tragically, inside.” [discount wall slam scene courtesy of 2016 Asmi, you're welcome]

“Overreacting?” said Dextor in disbelief, staring at Jay like, ‘What is wrong with you, dude?’ [sigh. my serious-scene-writing left a lot to be desired.]

“Don’t go,” I said, fighting tears. “Please, don’t leave me, too! You’re all I have left.” Strange thoughts for a child, but I meant every word. She looked at me with anguish. “I am sorry, Phil. Believe me, you are all I have, too, and this hurts me more than it does you. You’re like my son.” [I'm hysterical rereading this melodramatic shit, which was NOT the intended effect]

Things that I've written that I love:

He dropped the books onto a nearby chair and pulled her into his arms as he’d been longing to do all day, the smell of blueberries and hair product and her. The books she was holding were pressed against his chest, and he didn’t care. Why did he need to love the stars when he could love her, why did he need to look up at the sky for answers when they were right there in his arms? [I love this because when I first wrote it, I thought it was romantic, but I realised later that the boy, Ant, is aroace, and it doesn't change a thing about this scene, except that their love is platonic]

"Maybe being happy is the best that we can do. Maybe that’s more than most people manage, anyway.” They stood in front of the entrance, over puddles that reflected all the broken skyscrapers and the colours of the street and the grey-yellow sky. “Whatever you do with your parents,” she said. “Don’t let your guilt get in the way of doing ballet. It’s not wrong to be happy. It’s not.” [This is from the book I finished and I published, and I just really like this paragraph. It's not my favourite, but it makes me smile.]

The last you may leave wherever you please, wherever it is birds land to die. [A line from a poem I wrote in 2022, I like the rhythm]

(It took effort to find ones that I wanted to share, oof. If you find this difficult just know you're not alone. I usually like my writing, but turns out it's hard to take something you created and go hey, look, I'm proud of this. But we can do it.)

Alright, of course anyone who sees this is welcome to join, and tag the writers you know so we can all be uh writerly together :") but to start it off, no pressure tags @howmanyholesinswisscheese, @1800ineedshelp, @queermarzipan, @thescholarlystrumpet, @madfangirlontheloose.

Oh, and also tagging @neil-gaiman, @dduane, @drchucktingle just because maybe if you see this and join in, new writers will find comfort in knowing their role models have ups and downs, good and bad days too :")

Have a lovely day, everyone, and keep writing.

#asmi #weirdly specific but ok #writing #tag game #writers on tumblr #writerblr

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malt-rants-and-stuff · 3 months

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MALT today I was maladaptively daydreaming (as one does) about kghr fantasy AUs and I was thinking... an assassin AU would be neat. But why would one of them be an assassin and how would they actually meet.

This thought process leads to -> what if hirano became Kagi's body guard but all along he's supposed to assassinate him in the end -> wait a minute.. betrayal... I've seen the name of a similar concept somewhere... -> Knight's betrayal??? -> WAIT A MINUTE WASN'T THERE A MALT AU CALLED KNIGHT'S BETRAYAL AU

WHAT IS THE KNIGHT'S BETRAYAL AU, MALT, I NEED TO KNOW MORE NOW THAT I REMEMBERED I'VE SEEN YOU TAG IT BEFORE

okay first of all, that sounds like such a fun au and the timeline between all of your thoughts is hilarious lol

second of all, don't think I've ever actually fully explained what's up with knights betrayal on here oops. that's on me haha I'm used to just letting people guess what my brainwaves mean. I'll try my best to explain!! continuing under the cut :)

okay so the basic break down of knight's betrayal is that kagiura, a child of a famous and well-respected family of knights, spends his days guarding the third prince of his empire (niibashi) after war has broken out on the eastern half of the continent. he was sent there by his family a year prior to keep him away from the harsh realities of battle and has stayed there until now.

hirano, on the other hand, is a different story. having grown up working for a lesser known noble's household and being drafted at an early age, hirano is a talented swordsman forced to retreat from the front lines after being mortally wounded and losing his left eye. he is given a choice by his captain afterwards: either retire early and be taken back to his old household, or work as an inside man to send information back and forth from the battlefield to the palace. stubborn and not willing to return to his old life, he chooses the latter.

this all leads up to their first ever meeting, when hirano walks into the palace where niibashi lives and delivers a message to his staff while kagiura is standing guard by the prince's side. there isn't much to say about this meeting, since afterwards kagi leaves with niibashi while hirano is taken to the medical wing to receive proper treatment for his eye and other wounds he gained while traveling. then they dont see each other for at least another month and a half ^.^

my main thing with KB is that i want it to be short but feel large, so the story takes place over a large span of time and is only about 20-30ish chapters give-or-take? lots of it is still drafts and things probably will change so i wouldn't get attached to that figure but yeah. it is just generally an excuse to write kagihira as two people who seem to be similar but are from such wildly different backgrounds and hold such different views of the world that it leads to them misunderstanding a lot about their relationships and conversations haha. also gay ass knights.

then, of course, there is the betrayal that comes along with knight's betrayal. Obviously. i will say that the politics are a huge part of the story, but kagiura "unreliable narrator who has been sheltered by his family and never been made to see real battle" akira isn't really focused on all of that. he is aiming for his strangers to lovers mysterious bad-boy with golden heart romance and is not about to let things like "lineage" and "suspicious behaviors" get in the way of that. unfortunately for him, hirano has not gotten the memo and will use every opportunity to sniff out strange faces and rumors that hold a little too much weight.

there's plenty of other things too, like sasamiya bakery romance and shirahama starting a great revolt. there's a side story i wrote ages ago that i have to resist spoiling centered around hanzawa the bookkeeper and tashiro the informant. kuresawa and his girlfriend are acting out romeo and juliet across the continent. poor bodyguard ogasawara is trying and failing to keep archivist eimi from lighting things on fire in the name of her sacred tomes. makimura gets arrested for slandering the emperor. everyone is having a bit of fun :>

the exciting thing about KB's story that has me frothing at the mouth though is that it is in the very end a Tragedy. not in a "everyone is going to die" way necessarily, but everything happens for a reason. everything has consequences. everything.

i'm so excited just getting to talk about it tbh! its been such a silly little thing in my mind for the longest time so its awesome to get to share a bit of it :)))

#this is mainly explaining what happens before the story even starts but yknow. its relevant.#sorry i took a bit to answer my printer exploded and i had to deal with that ^^ hope this kinda gave you an idea of what's going on #im not the best at explaining and this is pretty ramble-y in my eyes but oh well #malt asks #kagiura-akira #knight's betrayal au #knights betrayal au #hirano to kagiura #malt wips #htk au #also if you see typos no you dont

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promptcorner · 4 months

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Will you ever write that dp x tfrb fic? The one with the cody/danny? Cause the idea is genius...the pairing is so cute, two disaster teens lol

When would Danny get to GR? The dude is so damn overpowered that its hilarious, even if he holds back, so imagine the Burns faces when they watch him lift the boys ship with a single hand and the brat says "oh, this? This weighs like a bunch of grapes lol". And when he tells them all his adventures and that he defeated the ghost version of Unicron on steroids and several minor deities.

What do you think of the "kid is next in the line for the throne by right of conquest because he made old peepaw Dark go to sleep once again"?

Some hc of the cody/danny ship? As in, actual couple hc. Who does what and all that stuff...

Good question!

I’m writing the second chapter actually! The first chapter is being edited, I hope to post it on AO3 with my other fics by the end of the week! Hopefully that comes into fruition, if not, then within this month.

I can’t say much on when or how Danny gets to GR. All I can say though, is that it happens in the first chapter. Danny and Cody meet in the first chapter too and mysteries are put in place.

Pttt! Peepaw Dark is a great name! Gold stars! 🌟🌟🌟

I am going to go the Ghost King route, but I won’t go into detail on how. ;3

Danny is an overpowered boy with great humor. But man, he can be such a dork with cringe fail action. Cody is definitely the most mature out of the two, but not by much. He tends to create trouble by his wants and actions when he doesn’t think things through. The Trash-compacter episode comes to mind. Danny does similar stuff.

They’re both nerds, have older red headed siblings, work as heroes, have some sort of relevant connections to royalty and pirates, fight machines, fight ghosts or ghost adjacent stuff, and both have friend(s) who are knowledgeable in things they’re not. The list can go on.

With that dynamic into perspective, here are my cute romantic hcs:

Danny, as Phantom, would often call Cody, “Boy Scout.” But as Danny, he would call Cody, “Codes.” Even before they get together, he calls Cody these names as a way to separate his ghost side from his living side. It doesn’t work, however. Because Cody would be like, “Hang on, how do you know I was as a scout? I don’t wear my sash everywhere I go… Wait, I recognize that hair cut!” Cody would notice that Danny is Phantom almost immediately. But he wouldn’t say anything and just roll with it. He’s seen some weird stuff, this wouldn’t be any different. Danny would also call Cody his Guardian Angel or Psychopomp due to how they met as a little inside joke. But the joke becomes real. The irony of the protecter spirit actually having a protector is funny to me. But this would go both ways.

Cody would a hundred and ten percent believe that Danny is an alien before finding out he’s a ghost. The entire Burns Family and the Docs would believe that as well. Even The Bots would think he’s some strange shifter species from space like them. Danny just happens to either be half alien, or an alien who grew up with human culture, those types of theories. So they brush off obvious signs of ghostly activity for a while. But Cody would be the first to know via Danny telling him. The angst would be obvious.

And just like Cody being the first to know, he would also be the first to gain feelings for Danny before Danny catches feelings for him. It’s a slow build, but he notices them and develops his first crush. He would act all shy, stutter occasionally, and doze off with a dreamy expression.

He would constantly think Danny’s eyes are brighter then Energon, would want to comb through his hair, and go on hikes to the top of GR and watch the stars with him. Heck, he would find a way to the stars with Frankie’s help.

His siblings would notice this immediately, since their love lives have been active since the dawn of time, especially Kade’s. And they would both get nervous and excited. The Bots would look on in confusion, but realize Cody is having feelings, and also get excited.

But hey! Cody’s the baby, so there will be plenty of, “Gah! No! Not the baby! He’s going through puberty! He’s gaining a crush! Oh the humanity! They grow up to fast! What do we do?” \TAT/

The Docs, Frankie, and Mr. Burns would be the only few to handle this with any form of maturity.

Danny would be slower in catching on. But he develops feeling not too long after Cody.

He would stutter too, doze off, but would still give Cody various pet names. However, where in the beginning he said certain names more sparingly, now he’s saying them ever time they hang out. Names like Angel, My Guardian, Soul Mate (I explained why in my last ask, but it’s because they have similar shoes but inverted), Sunlight, Capella, Aviator, the list goes on.

Danny would ask for hugs more often, and help around whenever he sees Cody doing something like cooking and junk. At first, he would ask if Cody needs help, but eventually he just does stuff with Cody without asking first. They get into a grove, chat, and be done with cleaning or fixing something very quickly.

Danny would start to make fudge, to, and give it to Cody as a gift. He would even tinker around and make machines to gift to Cody, like a mini telescope, a compass that looks old but is too advanced for any government to use, and various other items.

I want to say more, but I’m going to cap it off here. The want to speak is dwarfed by my want to show it all in the story.

Thanks for the ask! <3

Update there is now a fic!

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers #writing inspiration #writing #writing prompts #danny phantom #danny fenton #transformers #transformers rescue bots #ghost and rescue #danny x cody #cody burns

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smutbae · 1 year

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Royal Guard! Law X Princess! Reader NSFW 🔞 Part One

Tw: degradation, explicit sexual content, dirty talk, dom/sub, impiled yandere behavior from law, smut.

*minors dni, get the fuck away from here*

Once upon a time….

There was a large beautiful kingdom located in the North Blue. Inside the kingdom held a powerful and influential family. There was the mighty king and his lovely queen, along with their only child, the princess. The princess was known throughout all the North Blue as being an innocent and gentle soul whose beauty could brighten a gloomy day. She had the whole country in the palm of her hands and at first it was rewarding to be able to one day rule over the great country. But as the years went on and more responsibilities came to her, the young woman realized she did not want this lifestyle and the overbearing duties anymore.

Looking well past the lavish gifts and food being provided to her, she witnessed how horribly the king and queen treated their citizens. Regular men and women were working back-breaking hours only to receive scraps to feed their children. If they complained or protested in any way, they were subjected to public humiliation or were beaten down by the guards until they stopped breathing. Their poor children were forced to watch as their beloved parents were being whipped until there was no more skin on their backs. The shock and horror on the children's faces were forever sketched into the princess's memory.

Once the princess became of age, she sought out ways to take over the kingdom; to change the vile ways her parents have so long enforced onto their people. Unbeknownst to her, the king and queen had assigned their daughter a new guard to watch over her. His name alone struck intense fear into the hearts of many people. Formerly known as the Surgeon Of Death, he changed his path and became a royal guard known as Law. Tall, dark, and mysterious were the only attributes people knew about him. When he first met the princess while returning from an important mission, he was notably stoic and cold to her. Believing her to be a rotten spoiled brat with the image of a pure golden child, he tried to distance himself from the young woman but failed miserably and hilariously.

As months went by and seasons changed, so did his attitude towards her. The young woman proved him wrong many times and grew to like him more than a close disgruntled friend. Her actions of kindness and compassion to her citizens made his stone heart beat with admiration and even love. But love is a rather strange thing; well it can be filled with peace and everlasting happiness, it can also cause destructive behavior and bring out the worst in people.

A once pure and innocent woman can turn into something vindictive and deadly….

Before, the royal guard was always giving you a hard time. Scolding you for a few small mistakes, following your every move when you think he is not near, burning daggers into any man who poorly attempted to woo your affections. Yet you never expected something like this.

Your royal guard, Trafalgar Law, would be giving certain looks that you knew were far from innocent. Then came the lingering hidden touches to your arms and waist while you studied or attended to others; it had you craving him more and more each passing day. Unbeknownst to the king and queen, Law would have you on your hands and knees every other night. Moaning your kind little heart out while he has your body writhing in raw unadulterated pleasure and tonight was no different. You had just gotten done with your studies and about to make your way down the empty halls to your bedroom until Law stops you by gently grabbing your arm. You turn to him and smile dreamily, his warm husky scent overwhelming your senses.

"Is there anything you need, Trafalgar?"

"My lady, would you care to join me this evening? Perhaps in your chambers?"

He ducks down slightly to whisper his request lowly in your ear. You quietly swallow the nervous lump in your throat and nod your head as he pecks the corner of your lips sweetly, knowing well that the kiss was far too tender for what is to come. You take him by his large tattooed hand and lead to your bedchambers, knowing neither servant or royal would be awake at this late hour; so he can have you to himself without all the secrecy.

Law locks the doors swiftly as the two of you make it inside your room. With a mischievous smirk, he pushes you up against the doors with your arms raised above your head, your ample cleavage spilling over the top of the flowy white gown adorning your body. His other hand holding your waist with a possessive grip, he lowers his head down to the junction that connects your neck and shoulder, kissing and sucking dark marks on the soft flesh causing you to let out low moans and gasps.

"I wonder, what would the king think of this? His most trusted royal guard, fucking his lovely little princess until she can't think straight. It would break his old rotten heart, wouldn't it y/n-ya?"

He says this in between kisses on your neck and cleavage. A lusty moan escapes your lips when he bites the top of your right breast, licking over the newly created mark to soothe the pain. Your shapely hips wriggle up against his lean muscular frame, his prominent bulge feeling wonderful close to your clothed cunt.

"Traf-"

"That's not what you call when we're alone."

"Sir. Please sir, fuck me until I drip with your seed."

Law groans huskily at how his title falls from your lips and slowly trails both of his hands down to your ass to roughly squeeze, a cute whine encouraging him to kiss you. His sensuous tongue parts your lips and begins eagerly exploring your mouth. His half-lidded gray eyes look down upon your heated face. He wraps his long strong arms around you and lifts your body up with ease. Your legs come around his thin waist as he makes his way over to your welcoming bed.

#reader insert #x reader #fanfiction #one piece smut #trafalgar law x reader smut #trafalgar law x reader #law one piece #law smut #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #one piece fic #smut

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syntia13treeman · 13 days

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Case files 12.01

what I think happened in:

Case 12.01, the case of "Stag Hunter" or "Mr. Bonzo's toothy maw"

We need to talk about Gwen.

Full name Gwendolyn Bouchard, child of a rich family, strangely fixated on making career at OIAR of all places.

On 9th of January, after several years of exemplary if a bit slow work, she looked her boss dead in the eye and stated she wanted her job.

On 29th of January she received an email with a video of attempted murder (Lena on Klaus gun violence).

On 12th of February, after doing some additional research, she confronted Lena with the video. She assumed that Lena's superiors* wouldn't be happy to know that the 'murder' was a failed one. She let it be known that her source (singular) confirms that said mysterious superiors believe Klaus to be dead. As payment for her silence, she demanded to be let in on whatever extra operations were going on here. Lena graciously 'promoted' her to "Externals Liaison."

On Friday (March 8) Gwen received her first 'assignment' – to deliver an envelope to one Nigel Dickerson and 'any companion' of his that might be present. (So, glorified postal service).

On Saturday, (March 9) she got to meet her first 'External'. She was NOT prepared for the experience. She handed off the envelope as instructed. It got chewed in teeth that weren't soft. Mr. Bonzo the External lumbered away into the night, while somewhat shaken Gwen returned home.

Let's take a break from Gwen for a moment, to meet Ms. Jordan Bennett (age: early 20s). She's acquired bartending skills in 2020, and got hired at "Soho Jack's" strip-club in spring of 2021. Her employment there ended rather abruptly on Saturday night, 9th of March 2024. On that fateful night she was tending bar in a private suite on the third floor, where a Bachelor party was in full swing. The party consisted of (presumably) former high-school or college sports team, now in their 30s/40s, celebrating upcoming nuptials of their bud, Baz (full name unknown). (For now).

The chain of events was thus:

Somebody(/something?) planted a box of Bonzo merchandise among the presents for the groom.

Baz the Groom, a faithful Bonzo-fanboy, delightedly asked for the planted CD to be played.

Bonzo's theme-song started playing from the room speakers, and continued to play, getting louder, even after Jordan turned off the CD-player and disconnected the cables. (Later on it not only got louder, but also changed – from 'he wants to stay' in kids' voices to 'he's here to stay' in… different voices).

Summoned signalled by the music, Mr. Bonzo killed the bouncer guarding the room, and entered.

The party-guys did not notice the fresh body and were happy to see their favourite monster TV-mascot.

Mr. Bonzo somehow realized that the bartender did notice the body, and shushed her with a finger to his mouth.

Still unaware of danger, the guys found it hilarious when Bonzo picked up the groom by the arms and twirled him around like a toddler. They didn't even notice when

Bonzo ripped the man's arms right off. They did notice when Jordan screamed, and Bonzo tore Baz's head apart, and then pulverized and ate his body.

After that the guys tried to attack, without any real effect, aside from a trickle of some kind of stinking liquid from a cut (if it bleeds… can we kill it?).

After obliterating the groom Bonzo struck a playful pose, unfolded his mouth into a bigger, toothier maw and proceeded to bite chunks out of remaining people. Those who survived all lost something (Jordan's hand being the smallest loss). Those who didn't make it were devoured whole.

Notably, it seems that none of the people in the room tried to leave it, and none of the crashes, screams, nor the loud distorted music, were noticed by anyone outside the room; the security cameras weren't working either.

After the fact the club got sued for recompense by Jordan (and possibly other survivors and families of the deceased) and tried to get their insurance to cover it. Their claim was denied as fraudulent.

With that bit of unpleasantness out of the way, let's go back to OIAR.

On Monday, March 11, a very disgruntled Gwen confronted Lena again, this time about the nature of her assignment. Lena cheerfully advised her that screaming is good for the soul, that externals may be grotesque, but are valued assets, and that sleep is important. Also that Gwen should have already figured out whose name was in the envelope she'd delivered.

On Wednesday, March 13, Gwen's caseload included a graphic description of events of last Saturday at Soho Jack’s. She had… some kind of reaction, before Alice cut it off with a 'joke.' (btw, Alice's jokes sound more and more like 'shut up about stuff that can get us killed you idiot!')

There's a lot to unpack here, and I'm not sure if I want to touch most of it.

WHOSE name was in the envelope and why? At one point I considered a theory that the intended target was actually the Bartender (not to be killed, but maimed and traumatized), but as she wasn't the only survivor, just the 'luckiest' one, and she was way too young and poor to be Gwen's associate, I have to go back to option nr 1: The groom. Bonzo did zero-in on him upon entry, and only after completely removing him from this world did he change to more casual look and leisurely eating mode. (Work before play; at least he has good work ethics?) (No! Kill it with fire!) So. Why did 'Baz' have to die? Lena expected Gwen to know. Originally I was sure it was Colin or Alice, who both know too much. Since it's not them, the only thing that comes to mind is the 'source' who told Gwen that Klaus is believed to be dead. If a scary shady spooky government branch learned that they had a leak, they absolutely would plug it with excessive force and no consideration for collateral damage. Imagine you're Gwen, and you had a friend tell you something as a favour, and then you listen to a tale of how that friend got eaten by a creature you personally sent after him. 😬 Slightly more fucked up though less likely option: the 'source' was actually the bride-not-to-be. The Stag Night Massacre was a punishment and warning for both her and Gwen.

*Who actually are Lena's masters superiors? The ministerial prick who keeps nagging Colin about the app just… doesn't sound like someone who'd order a supernatural hit on someone. I have some thoughts, but they're too muddy to articulate just yet, so I'm moving on to:

Bonzo music. What is up with that? Nigel turned it on to call Bonzo to the door, and at the club he didn't come into the room until it was playing. Is the music just a way to get his attention, or is it like his Manchurian Candidate trigger phrase, turning him from Mr. Bonzo to Bonzo Butcher? Or is it just … part of Bonzo himself? It was getting more distorted and unsettling just as Bonzo was getting more monstrous in action and appearance. What was the cause and what was the effect here? Or: the music had to play, because it was the music that kept people from trying to run, and kept other people (and cameras) from noticing what was going on in there. So many options, so little certainty. :(

Gwen is now an accessory to murder, most likely of somebody she knew. I wonder what she's gonna do with that knowledge. Will she double down on "I can do it and I'm cool with it actually", or will she try to opt-out? (it's too late, but she could try…)

Unrelated: if at any point we meet a very angry young woman sans one hand, I'm doing the DiCaprio me

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp case files #tmagp case 12.01 #tmagp 12 #Mr. Bonzo #again #debuting #Jordan Bennett #returning #Gwendolyn Bouchard #and poor life decisions OTP #ep. written by Alexander J. Newall #ep. written by A.J.N+J.S.

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twst-drabbles · 1 year

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Can I ask you and your following,what lines do or want to add to a fic but never could put in.This could be twst related or not.

'Of course, Everybody seems to forget I came out the coffin like the rest of you"

Oh boy time to dig into my notes! Okay okay, see whenever I can't get any prose writing done, I end up writing down a bunch of quotes and lines and other such things that I think could be cool but had to cut out cause it didn't fit anywhere. So I just have them stored away on a file until I find the opportunity to use them

To Vil, there is no such thing as a person born ugly. You are made ugly, by your own hand, by your own lack of care and recklessness.

Many of these lines I have are usually associated with the Eldritch AU, just cause I want that AU to have my best efforts.

Fire. A tall wall of blue flame, stoked up high as the trees planted around them. They enclosed you inside with the ink monster that had aided him since the start. “Of course. I feel invincible in this silent world. “See, exhaustion is a very human thing, and many creatures in my world fail to replicate it, especially when they’re singing. “For some reason, a lot of the monster’s I’ve encountered are usually tone deaf.”

Like, I have lots of them, it's kinda hilarious.

"so, for an impatient one like you, who wanted to pry into all my little secrets well before I would be willing to give them,“ you snapped the papers sharply against your palm, ”these precious treasures will forever be lost to you. “I would have, had you bothered to ask,” and yet, Azul didn’t. …Nothing more than simple paranoia. Not caution, not deliberating one’s actions, paranoia. He assumed the worst out of someone who barely arrived, however… “Y-you can hardly blame me for thinking such things when you consider just how many mysteries surround you. I had to practice caution, lest I let myself be exposed.” “What an odd way you show that caution of yours, Azul Ashengrotto. You were wary of me, that much I was certain, but you were more concerned in how you could possibly have me under you.”

The thing about me is the fact that I'm actually pretty good at writing dialogue, but I usually end up opting for little to none, cause it makes my drabbles too long. Beyond playing RPG's, I also play a fuckton of visual novels in my free time, so my writing has been influenced as such.

“Azul,” you relaxed back against the chair in the newly repaired lounge, “you started this game. You should have known better than to arouse my curiosity.” Stare into the abyss long enough and it shall stare back at you. And what are shadows to do but to hunt the light within your eyes? “Caution dictated that you would poke and prod to see what my role within all these strange happenings is. I can’t say I blame you for doing such a thing. But, you hold no respect towards me. You wanted me to be another tool, another link upon the chain you’ve built to seal away the vault of your weaknesses. And what am I to do, but to open that vault?”

Lot of them is just Eldritch Prefect honestly, though not all of them.

"Magic depends on imagination, and a lot of the time you can't imagine shit when you're panicking."

That line is said by the Janitor Prefect. Don't know the context for that one, I was just trying to get their voice right in my head. Sorta tired, sorta grumpy, but ultimately very knowledgeable on a lot of different subjects.

"'It can't be helped.' I've been told those words many, many times. 'This is just the way things are, you have to understand it. It cannot be stopped. It be like trying to stop the currents, to turn the sands into snow.' From childhood to even now, I've always been told this, but I knew what they were saying. 'Give up on your brother. On your family. You can't reverse your mistake.'"

As soon as I get around to finishing my current event, I think I'm going to be doing Valenio next. No choices to be made with this one, just a straight line of a story, but a story nonetheless.

Man I really wish I was good with art so I can make decent visual novels. Oh well.

#admin #NRClutter #eldritch au #janitor au #vil #azul #valenio mara #valenio #vil schoenheit #azul ashengrotto #twst oc

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misteria247 · 7 months

Text

Some Lupin III AU thingy ramblings/characters I'd like to include shhhh-

Context of the story:

A normal heist for Lupin the III and his gang along with infamous Inspector Zenigata and his prodigy Yatagarasu goes terribly wrong. When Lupin gets his hands on a mysterious artifact he finds his entire world turned upside when he's thrust into an alternate reality/world. At first everything appears normal, his gang is still the same and the world still knows his name and his infamous heists he's pulled. However he quickly finds out something rather disturbing when he pulls off a few heists and Pops fails to show up to any of them. That being-

There's no Inspector Zenigata of the ICPO in this reality.

Officially shaken up by this Lupin finds himself searching for Koichi Zenigata in this strange alternate reality/world. While trying to figure out what exactly happened to the inspector, Lupin's companions, Jigen, Goemon and Fujiko are left completely confused and a bit concerned by their friend's insistence that they even had an ICPO cop placed on their case. And for awhile it appears that Lupin's possibly lost his marbles, until a small heist in a small Japanese town occurs.

It was during this heist that Lupin runs into someone. Someone he's been desperately searching for.

He's ran into Pops.

However Zenigata isn't a detective. Hell he's not even apart of law enforcement. Instead he's settled down into this small town, which is later revealed to be his hometown and has become it's residential handyman and jack of all trades. Zenigata Koichi was at one point in law enforcement, however due to his skills and talent he'd became bored. With no challenges to give him an actual run for his money (aka no Lupin), Pops decided to quit the police force and instead settle back down into his home town. Content yet feeling as if he's missing something. Yet his content and peaceful life are thrown on its head when he accidentally stumbles upon Lupin mid heist. Now Lupin having found Zenigata is determined to try and get him to know the thief once again while Zenigata is cautious but drawn to Lupin. Whether Lupin succeeds or not rests in fates hands and the infamous red string of fate.

Characters other than the main four:

Yatagarasu Goro: A young rookie of ICPO who's heard of the stories of the Japanese cop and detective known as Koichi Zenigata. While Zenigata never went to ICPO and had quit law enforcement, what things he'd managed to achieve get talked about amongst cops and other law officers. Though to the world outside his existence has all but faded into obscurity. Yata wants to become the best of the best, especially when he's assigned the Lupin case. And what better way to get that advice than to try and track down our favorite handyman? With his polite yet determined ways, Yata won't rest until he's learned everything he can.

Toshiko Zenigata: Pops beloved daughter. Toshiko is a fierce yet kindhearted woman whose hilariously enough decided to follow the Zenigata tradition of joining the law industry. Wanting to become a private detective, Toshiko will often times visit her father to borrow his old notes and books from back in his youth. Toshiko is a sweet young woman with a big heart (much like her father) yet can also be incredibly mischievous if given the opportunity (much like her mother). Yet when she visits her father one day and sees a strange man starting to flirt with him, she's immediately suspicious. Time to put her detective training to use.

Koichi Zenigata: Zenigata once a detective had quit his job due to boredom. Being the best at his job left him with very little to achieve and so he decided to call it quits. Afterwards he'd moved back to his hometown, while his ex wife and daughter remained in Tokyo. Soon Pops started to become the local handyman. If there was a problem or something needed fixed, Pops was the go too man. And on the rare occasion he'd even do some private detective work for the town however he never made it a main business venture. Whenever he's not fixing something or helping out his fellow townspeople, Zenigata would often be sighted with his daughter Toshiko whenever she'd come visit him for the summer while growing up. He's pretty content with his life, but once Lupin enters the game he can't help but wonder if he really is happy with his current position in life.......

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yuri-is-online · 7 days

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Just finished Sinostra's chapter myself.... I gotta say though, was a little underwhelming compared to other chapters.... Honestly the entire thing felt like a one-man show by Ritsu + some sexual tension between Taiga and Romeo whenever they interact lol. MC has never felt more like a spectator than she did in this chapter, I was waiting for her to do absolutely *anything* but she really was just... there lmao. Not even hand-holding this time!

Even the Like Dove showed up AFTER mc left, when it was just Taiga and Romeo in the room, and then later again when Romeo barges into Taiga's room - this time mc was there but, just barely lol, the whole focus was on Taiga and Romeo's almost shoot-off, and Taiga's line saying "You really could shoot through my heart"?? And the fact that he sensed Romeo approaching before he even saw him, and so far is the only person who he clearly remembers and freely gives compliments to lol, Lulu is a cute nickname tho.

Regardless, Taiga's strange response to the Like Dove could possibly mean Kaito's explanation about it might not be true after all, since anomalies are still a mystery, wouldn't be strange for false rumors to make the rounds.

And I while I don't hate Ritsu - I appreciate he's a hard worker and tries to make the best of any situation he's put in - I dislike how he really just one-sidedly handled everything in this chapter and only ever explains after they're done lol. The case didn't feel like an investigation at all, Ritsu just pulls some numbers out of the air and acts on them (where is he getting all that data??) and in the end they won against it because it had to prevent a paradox from happening...? lmao idk overall just felt so underwhelming.

Also we never find out what the deal was about the girl in the tower?? Why even mention that detail if they're not gonna do anything with it... An anomaly that was born from the negative emotions gathering in a casino replaces people's memories with a girl in a tower.... My guess is it wanted enough people to "remember" her so she could come into existence? Like Takeru's ghost. I wonder what for though... Will they revisit this or not.....

You could pluck out MC from this chapter and absolutely nothing would change imo because Ritsu was doing everything anyways, only name-dropped mc when mentioning it was an investigation, that's it. While I don't necessarily need her to be the star or a hero, having 0 influence on the chapter is not great writing imo.

Kaito and his silly antics were the highlight for me. And I found it hilarious how him being stripped down and locked up in Romeo's "private office" feels like the setting of any self-indulgent "dark romance" fiction between a rich CEO and helpless debtor who has to cater to the captor's whims lol.

Finally Hotarubi is next, I've been curious about it since I got sorted into it, and want to see more of Haku. I agree he's sus, his dialogue in the prologue if you choose him only highlights the fact. But something about him really compels me

Sorry for the long ask, I have a thousand thoughts twirling around in my mind about TD, it should probably cool down between the entire month that's left before next story update.... but also there's new games coming out next month so hopefully I don't forget about TD completely either lol....

There is no shame in long asks. I'm always impressed at the amount of thoughts my dear anons manage to fit inside the ask box ♡

I also felt like the content was a bit lacking to the point I went and checked Jabberwock's chapter count and was surprised to find it's actually a tad shorter than Sinostra's. I think the main reason it felt so short to me was because I wasn't locked out of progressing this time around, but the case progression also felt much much quicker. If I'm sitting back and evaluating it as a writer, I think that's probably because of the setting being confined to the school and dorm. Sure, a lot happens, but you don't actually go anywhere, unlike in the previous three books.

Our MC has a very laid-back personality, which I don't mind. BUT the game really should allow for the chance for her to work things out on her own, even if she's too afraid of the other characters to verbalize it and keeps them to herself. There are several times in the book when she tries to point out inconsistencies in Ritsu's logic or other evidence she notices, but she's talked over pretty much every single time. It's what made me really hate Ritsu since you did not see that with Ren, Haru, or Towa, but i get that it's sort of tricky when writing more domineering characters to balance not making them overshadow the more laid back ones but still keeping them true to their personalities. I don't think Ritsu would have paid attention to Kaito if MC wasn't there, nor do I think Taiga would have paid attention to Ritsu, but that's just me speculating because the story doesn't clearly communicate it. This book was poorly written, a lot of the problems people have with MC could be fixed with a few additional lines where she's shown wanting to do something but reminding herself she has to play nice with the ghouls otherwise they won't break her curse. Her personality makes sense to me, but her writing does not.

Now. I disagree about the no real moments this chapter but ah. Well. You see. There is something deeply wrong with me so I completely get if this did nothing but disturb you but when Taiga has MC strapped to the torture chair 👉👈

Look I know potentially getting a hicky from a guy that strapped you to a torture chair and just shot you (for the second time) isn't everyone's thing but it is mine I was so well fed this chapter from that alone ( ; ω ; ) AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOW HE CALLS HER KITTEN AND EATS THE FUCKING LIKE DOVE??? RAW??? ROMEO ROMEO WHY FOR ART THOU INTERRUPING ROMEO I WANTED TO SEE WHAT HE WAS GONNA DO- forgive me anon I'm afraid I'm most unwell.

Speaking of the Like dove and the memories of the tower. The Tower thing reminds me of rapunzel, especially because she's out alone in the woods, but it feels super out of left field, no? If the anomaly is born from the Casino, which Taiga states "is him," then I wonder if the girl in the tower is representative of something he's forgotten? The chapter places an emphasis on how anomalies can affect memory, so it's not too big of an assumption to make that something must have happened to Taiga to make his memory this bad. As for the like dove... Romeo seems very surprised to see it, almost suggesting he never has before, which can you imagine how funny it would be if it showed up for him and Taiga. They've been friends and business partners for at least two years, I refuse to believe the dove would only just show up now. The image of him just never seeing it because everyone is too polite/afraid of him to point it out is too funny. The dove shows up twice this chapter, both times it sort of read to me like it had been there for a bit before it was noticed and in both cases Taiga reacts to it negatively. Given how paranoid he seems to be, I think it's probably because the idea of him caring/having someone care about him scares him due to the unpredictability of it and the potential for betrayal. He seems to think people only want to use him, so that's probably part of it too. I'm constantly doing way too many lines of copium, so to me the dove seemed triggered by Taiga's interactions with MC but I also see where you're coming with Romeo. Their friendship is much less adversarial than it was implied to be in their little blurbs, and I quite like that a lot. You know even if Taiga seems to think Romeo is always taking away his fun. And what's up with his constant want to eat anomalies, is Romeo not feeding him enough?

Slight correction, Taiga does seem to remember who Haru is, Harry and Lulu are both derivative of their names, so maybe he can only remember people in his year clearly? Or does it also include second years? He sounds very surprised at the concept of a "first year ghoul" in his house so maybe his memories are cutting off everything other than the previous two years...

I also have a bunch more thoughts but I'll cut myself off here ×-× gotta let some of them simmer before I make too much of a fool of myself (I already have)

#<3 asks #tokyo debunker #hotarubi anon #taiga hoshibashi

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mariana-oconnor · 10 months

Text

The Empty House pt 1

Now, in the hour of our greatest need, a hero rises to answer the call. Our dear friend John Watson provides food for our reading appetites and bravely returns to write the tales of his dearly departed* partner, Sherlock Holmes.

*all facts correct at time of writing

You may be forgiven for assuming that my silence indicated that ‘The Final Problem’ truly was the end of my association with Sherlock Holmes, and indeed of the man himself. The passage of time and many subsequent tellings of the tale has not diminished me joy in saying that it was not so.

WHAT??!

No, seriously though, the fact that Letters from Watson is going with the conceit that Watson knew when he sent the email that Holmes wasn't dead and then just went radio silent for three weeks is fucking hilarious. It's what Holmes would have wanted. I mean, he's not dead, but even so. I love the dramatic bitch energy here.

It was in the spring of the year 1894

I feel like this is as definite and accurate a date as we're ever going to get in these stories.

Also, I have definitely read this one before, multiple times. Partially for my own enjoyment when I was younger, but also during my Sherlock fandom phase where I needed to verify some original canon so I could mutate it terribly for my own personal amusement.

I definitely remember whodunnit and how this time, but I'm not sure if that's actually going to be the mystery.

Only now, at the end of nearly ten years,

So this is a story set in 1894, written in 1903, read by us in 2023.

I should have considered it my first duty to have done so had I not been barred by a positive prohibition from his own lips, which was only withdrawn upon the third of last month.

So Holmes stayed 'dead' officially for 13 years? I mean, I guess this is also sort of ACD saying 'please stop sending me death threats. Here it is. He was never really dead. I surrender I surrender.'

As I read the evidence at the inquest, which led up to a verdict of wilful murder against some person or persons unknown

Totally read this wrong at first as though the murder was against the person or persons unknown. 'We know a murder has taken place, but we don't know who, or even if it was only one person or multiple. But it was definitely murder.' But no, it's the verdict that's against them, not the murder.

There were points about this strange business which would, I was sure, have specially appealed to him, and the efforts of the police would have been supplemented, or more probably anticipated, by the trained observation and the alert mind of the first criminal agent in Europe.

It is pretty tragic to think of Watson reading the paper and sighing to himself as he thinks of how Holmes could have helped. But then also casually throwing shade at the police officers, also in tribute to Holmes' memory.

Adair's mother had returned from Australia to undergo the operation for cataract

Health tourism has a long and varied history. In a time before aeroplanes that's a long way to go and a long time to take for surgery. Did Australia really not have any opthalmologists worth their salt at this time? I mean, I don't know how good even the surgeons in London would have been with that sort of surgery, it's a little more finesse than amputations and they had enough difficulty with them. Got to assume that if you're going to take that long travelling for the surgery, there's got to be a reasonable improvement in your chances for survival.

OK, wow, the history of cataract surgery is long and I do not advise you to look it up if you are in any way squeamish about or squicked out by eye stuff. But apparently the earliest cataract surgeries known are in the 5th century BC, although modern surgery methods didn't seem to really get good until around the 1950s. Basically yes, infection was very possible and her vision would never be the same again.

That was very educational and quite unpleasant.

Ronald Adair was fond of cards, playing continually, but never for such stakes as would hurt him. He was a member of the Baldwin, the Cavendish, and the Bagatelle card clubs. It was shown that after dinner on the day of his death he had played a rubber of whist at the latter club.

I know it says that he never played for stakes that would hurt him, but I feel like being a member of three different clubs is a sign of something. Also, the fact that he recently broke up with his fiancee really needs to be relevant later because I cannot imagine why it would be included if not. At least as a red herring.

Mr. Murray, Sir John Hardy, and Colonel Moran

I wonder which of them is important? Clearly it must be Mr Murray. Absolutely could not be Colonel Moran, who is a colonel and therefore a respectable member of society who would never be associated with any crimes.

I stg ACD had some sort of beef with a colonel at some point in time. That's the only possible explanation. OTHER RANKS ARE AVAILABLE.

She had lit a fire there, and as it smoked she had opened the window.

They need their chimneys checked. Where are the chimney sweeps? I was under the impression that Victorian London was full of chimney sweeps. Was I lied to? Shove a small child up that chimney at once!

The door was locked on the inside, and no answer could be got to their cries and knocking. Help was obtained and the door forced. The unfortunate young man was found lying near the table. His head had been horribly mutilated by an expanding revolver bullet, but no weapon of any sort was to be found in the room.

Locked room mystery! Locked room mystery! Locked room mystery!

The window is open, but this is the second floor, and it's worth noting for any American readers, that in the UK the second floor is one higher than you think. We have ground floor, first floor, then second floor. So that's a pretty high window to reach.

(Unless there was already a small child lying in wait up the chimney...)

A minute examination of the circumstances served only to make the case more complex. In the first place, no reason could be given why the young man should have fastened the door upon the inside.

Sometimes people just lock doors. I automatically lock doors behind me sometimes. My brain is just like 'ooh, lock!' I made my flatmate at university think I hated her because I used to lock myself into my room, but I just... be like that.

There was the possibility that the murderer had done this and had afterwards escaped by the window. The drop was at least twenty feet, however, and a bed of crocuses in full bloom lay beneath. Neither the flowers nor the earth showed any sign of having been disturbed, nor were there any marks upon the narrow strip of grass which separated the house from the road.

So I know how this goes, but I feel there is a very real alternative solution to this puzzle that involves a circus troupe, an archer and a tightrope walker. Not sure how they'd get the tightrope back, but that can be sorted out in editing.

Again, Park Lane is a frequented thoroughfare, and there is a cab-stand within a hundred yards of the house.

Fine, people would probably notice the tightrope walking clown...

^ This guy could do it, is all I'm saying. (Although he would definitely use more than one bullet...)

since, as I have said, young Adair was not known to have any enemy, and no attempt had been made to remove the money or valuables in the room.

No one who gambles that much and consistently wins can be entirely enemy-free, that seems unlikely.

As I did so I struck against an elderly deformed man, who had been behind me, and I knocked down several books which he was carrying. [...] With a snarl of contempt he turned upon his heel, and I saw his curved back and white side-whiskers disappear among the throng.

Oh hai, Holmes. I'm not 100% that this is Holmes but lbr, this is Holmes. The snarl of contempt and abrupt about turn is totally to conceal his identity. Also I want to read The Origins of Tree Worship is it a real book? I feel like it has the potential to be the basis for a decent fantasy book.

but the window was entirely inaccessible, since there was no water-pipe or anything which could help the most active man to climb it.

I had not been in my study five minutes when the maid entered to say that a person desired to see me.

Drum roll please

I moved my head to look at the cabinet behind me. When I turned again Sherlock Holmes was standing smiling at me across my study table.

Certainly a grey mist swirled before my eyes, and when it cleared I found my collar-ends undone and the tingling after-taste of brandy upon my lips. Holmes was bending over my chair, his flask in his hand.

This surprise reveal brought to you by:

Brandy!

If Brandy doesn't save you, at least you'll die drunk!

“My dear Watson,” said the well-remembered voice, “I owe you a thousand apologies. I had no idea that you would be so affected.”

No.

Shit.

Sherlock.

Yeah, totally unbelievable that your bff who has thought you were dead for two years and probably blames himself at least somewhat for falling for the obvious ruse and leaving you alone on the cliffside to face your demise, might POSSIBLY be A LITTLE BIT affected by YOU RISING FROM THE DEAD BEFORE HIS EYES.

You are such a dramatic little chaos gremlin and it's great, but a truly spectacular lack of forethought here.

"Now, my dear fellow, in the matter of these explanations we have, if I may ask for your co-operation, a hard and dangerous night's work in front of us. Perhaps it would be better if I gave you an account of the whole situation when that work is finished.”

Casually rolls back into town, greets bff. 'Like, I could tell you how come I'm not dead, but instead we could both risk our lives first... what do you think?'

"I had no serious difficulty in getting out of it, for the very simple reason that I never was in it.”

A cliffhanger - literally??

Disappointed we only got two synonyms for the falls though: "awful abyss" and "dreadful chasm" I was hoping for some other ones. "merciless maw", "terrible void", "cruel crevasse", "fell fall", "godawful gap". Hopefully some more can be shoehorned into the next bit.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Empty House #long post

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randomrichards · 1 year

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THE TOP 10 BEST FILM OF 2022

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

GLASS ONION

Rian Johnson proves he’s still got the touch with another subversively comedic addition to the Knives Out franchise. He delivers the twisty mystery, unique characters, and witty dialogue we know and love from the predecessor. There are side splitting gags galore from the characterizations (Dave Bautista as an MRA influencer who still lives with his mom) and the dialogue (“Please tell me you don’t think sweatshops are where they make sweatpants”).

DECISION TO LEAVE

On the surface, Decision to Leave is a modern film noir about a kind detective who develops an infatuation with a femme fatale after her husband falls off the top of a mountain. But as you would expect from a Park Chan-Wook film, the film becomes something much more.

ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT

Decades after the original best picture winning classic, Edgar Berge adapts Erich Maria Remarque’s classic anti-war story of a small group of eager young Germans who enthusiastically sign up to fight during WW1 only to be destroyed by the horrors of war. Many films show the devastation of war and its traumatic effects, but this film showcases the terror of being in the battlefields.

PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH

Puss competes against a group of baddies to reach a wishing star in the sequel nobody asked for that ended up being way better than it had any right to be.

First, it uses Spider-Man: Into the Spider verse’s animation technique to create an animation style that resembles illustrations come to life and create some dazzling action scenes. It also gives Puss some unforgettable villains ranging from the hilariously sociopathic Big Jack Horner (John Mulaney) to Dreamwork’s most terrifying villain the Wolf (Wagner Moura). Finally, it gives Puss some depth as he is forced to confront his mortality and how his obsession with his legacy has kept him from forming meaningful connections.

TAR

Cate Blanchett gives one of the year’s best performances as a narcissistic and well-respected composer whose actions eventually comes back to haunt her.

THE TOP 10 LIST:

10) THE MENU

Satirical Comedy and unsettling horror make strange bedfellows in this unique tale of a Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy), an average woman who joins her foodie boyfriend (Nicholas Hoult) to an all exclusive dinner led by renowned chef Julian Slowick (Ralph Fiennes). What they don’t know is that Julian plans to deliver some just desserts for his latest customers.

The plot plays like a mystery. With each dish served, we try to guess what Slowick’s got planned for these elites. And Slowick’s motives grow more and more unsettling. It’s best to go in knowing as little of the movie as possible.

The actors are more than game for their respective performances. Fiennes is unsettling as a stern perfectionist who has a bone to pick with all of them. Taylor-Joy makes the perfect audience surrogate as she calls out the absurdity of the food arrangements. The rest of the cast play into the caricatures of their characters from Hong Chau as Slowick’s fanatical waitress to Janet McTeer as a pretentious critic. Hoult in particular relishes his role as a devoted know-it-all. Just the scene of him crying over tasting bread accompaniments without the bread is sure to bring a snicker.

This film ruthlessly mocks the elitist foodie culture. Most of the customers care more about the status than the meal, never just enjoying the dishes. With each dish, Slowick calls the customers out on their privileges.

Available on Disney+

9) THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN

In a small village in WW1 era Ireland, Padraic Suilleabhain (Colin Farrell) and Colm Doherty (Brendan Gleeson) spend their days enjoying glasses of Guinness at the local pub. But then one day, Colm decides he doesn’t like Padraic anymore and cuts him out of life to focus on making music. But the daft and offended Padraic can’t seem to take a hint much to Colm’s annoyance and Padraic’s spitfire sister Siobhan (Kerry Condon) chagrin. The locals aren’t much help, with many prying to know more about this incoming feud..

After earning acclaim (and some awards) with his Hollywood features Seven Psychopaths and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, writer/director Martin McDonagh returns to his roots and reunites his In Bruges stars Farrell and Gleason. McDonagh brings his trademark dark comedy to a folksy environment from his biting dialogue (“If punching a policeman is a sin then we may as well pack up and go home”) and surprising violence.[1] It also fits into McDonagh’s reoccurring theme of men who are unable to handle emotional moments like mature adults. While it can be devastating for a friend to sever ties with you, but Padraic can be clingy. Colm isn’t helping matters by threatening self-mutilation. Farrell and Gleason’s performances prevent these two from being unbearable. Farrell stands out by bringing a childlike eagerness and naivety that makes Padraic likeable.

At the same time, McDonagh regards these characters with empathy. He shows as much understanding for Padraic’s gratefulness for his simple life as he does with Colm’s need to create a legacy through his music.

Also, McDonagh does an excellent job of creating a sense of environment with the village. There’s also a strong sense of community in this village, with everyone knowing each other. There is also a unique set of personalities in this village, from the eccentric old Mrs. McCormick (Sheila Flitton) to the timid Dominic Kearney (Barry Keoghan). This simple area feels like a warm and inviting home many would like to live in.

The Banshees of Inisherin is a dark delight.

8) THE BATMAN

Who would have thought that there’d be a Batman movie that could pull off the feel of a David Fincher film? But Matt Reeves (along with co-writer Peter Craig) surprises the world with DC’s answer to Se7en and Zodiac. He brings the world a young Batman (Robert Pattison) in his second year who attracts the attention of the Riddler (Paul Dano), whose killing off key political figures in Gotham City. As he tries to get to the bottom of the Riddler’s murders, Batman comes to realize how corrupt Gotham’s world truly is and is forced to confront the sins of his father.

After two dark and gritty reboots of Batman and a post-pandemic world, this version really needed to impress. And it didn’t disappoint. Reeves delivers refreshing takes on every aspect of the iconic franchise. Gotham City has never looked seedier than it does in this film, with endless rain, decaying infrastructure and array of street gangs. This Batman we get is a young man who has let his Batman persona consume his life to the point where he barely has anything to do with Bruce Wayne.[2] But the most surprising update is the complete reinvention of The Riddler. This villain goes from being one of most mocked of Batman’s rogue’s gallery to being a Zodiac-like menace who seems to be constantly 10 steps ahead of everyone[3].

All these characters work because of the performances. Pattison proves himself a worthy Batman whether he’s interrogating Oswald (Colin Farrell) or taking down an army of muggers. Paul Dano weaponizes his everyman looks to hide an intimidating and sociopathic genius behind the green mask and distorted vocals. Farrell goes beyond the heavy makeup to create a ruthless, fast-talking version of the Penguin. Zoe Kravitz’ performance is probably the most comic accurate portrayal of Catwoman, especially when it comes to her dynamic with Batman. That’s not even getting into how Jeffrey Wright and Andy Serkis perfectly capturing the essences of Jim Gordon and Alfred respectively.

There’s also way more focus on the Detective aspect of Batman than in most versions. While we do see him in some kickass action scenes, for the most part, we see the World’s Greatest Detective use his sleuthing skills to solve the Riddler’s twisted riddles and investigate crime scenes. This brings more focus on the intrigue of the mystery.

And that score. That glorious musical score. Michael Giacchino delivers an epic, booming score worthy of joining the batman scores provided by Danny Elfman and Hans Zimmer.

It’s not a perfect movie. The biggest problem is the running time, which can lead to some dragging scenes that will be too much for some audiences. But the strengths of the film make up for these flaws. Here’s hoping Reeves keeps this up for the inevitable sequel.

Available on Crave

7) BOILING POINT

Writer/Director Philip Barantini seems to have taken a lesson from Uncut Gems on how to make a film feel like a relentless panic attack when he made Boiling Point; a tense drama about a stressed-out head chef (Stephen Graham) trying to get through the busiest night of the year.

Barantini and cinematographer Matthew Lewis make the risky move of shooting the whole film in a single take. It is easy for this to become gimmicky, but they use it effectively to emphasize how stressful it is to work in a restaurant. As the camera moves across the kitchen and into the dining area, it’s clear there’s no escape from the stress not even when head chef Andy Jones heads to his office to try and catch his breath. The rumbling of the kitchen as Andy sits alone in his desk makes it clear he has nowhere to hide.

Barantini also keeps the stress going by surrounding the environment with multiple clashes. The dishwasher’s upset that her replacement is hours late. The sous chefs and head waiter are at each other’s throats. Andy’s co-owner has invited a critic to dine with him. Barantini does an excellent job of balancing the multiple storylines within the short 92-minute screen time. He even manages to create some satisfying set ups and payoffs. One perfect example is a reoccurring arc with one chef whose constantly being told to roll up his sleeve. The revelation behind this arc with stay with you.

Boiling Point has a phenomenal cast who all deliver compelling performances as they scream over each other trying to get their point across. Usually typecast as the villain, Graham delivers his best performance as a man trying to keep it together while his life is going down the tubes. He makes you feel his hopelessness and overwhelming strain as he downs bottles of whisky, trying to get through the day. Even at his most self-destructive moments, you feel for him.

The result is a drama that does a better job of keeping the audience at the edge of their seat than most thrillers wished they could.

6) RRR

With the growing interest in Tollywood films, RRR makes the perfect gateway drug. Rarely in recent years has there been an action film so unapologetically epic as RRR, which has broken into the mainstream.

As with many Tollywood action films, Director S.S. Rajamouli, co-writers Vijayendra Prasad and Sai Madhave Burra along with the cast and crew take every element of the epic action flick and turn them all up to eleven. In a time when there is a call for more flawed, relatable protagonists in movies, RRR gives us a duel of superhuman action heroes performing impossible feats of agility. The opening scenes alone have rebel leader Komaram Bheem (NT Rama Rao Jr) chasing a wolf and a tiger and misguided soldier Alluri Sitarama Raju (Ram Charan Teja) leaping over a fence and fighting a whole crowd to capture one suspect. Let’s see the Fast and Furious franchise have its heroes leap over a bridge on a motorcycle or a horse and swing on a rope carrying the Indian flag to rescue a boy from a fire.

While there is a pressure for films to keep any messages nuanced and subtle, RRR serves as a three hour middle finger to the British Empire. That empire is embodied by the mustache twirling Scott and Catherine Buxton (Ray Stevenson and Alison Doody) who literally kidnap a little girl and kill the mother in the first scene. There would have been a danger of the villains being cringe, but Stevenson and Doody savour their villainy like a classic Disney villain. Even they get in on the over the top violence, with Mr. Buxton firing a machine gun while flying out a crashing car. It makes their downfall more satisfying.

If that isn’t enough, RRR also has musical numbers as epic as the action scenes. They manage to appear in the unlikeliest of moments like a motorcycle/horse race and one character being tortured with a whip. Most notable standout is a dance off between the heroes and one snobby British soldier.

But at its core, RRR is a story about a friendship between two men who don’t realize that one’s supposed to arrest the other and a tale about a tribal leader on a mission to rescue a little girl from rich captors. The fact this film makes us care about story and keep the audience hooked over its long screentime shows the power of this epic.

Available on Netflix

5) THE NORTHMAN

After taking the horror genre by storm with The Witch and The Lighthouse, writer/director Robert Eggers gives us something completely different with The Northman. In contrast to his previous low budget A24 arthouse horror flicks, Egger’s latest is a big budget epic historical action flick. It may be his most accessible film, but that doesn’t stop him from bringing his boundary pushing style into this film.

The Northman is Hamlet-like revenge tale of Almeth (Alexander Skarsgaard), a Viking prince who seeks vengeance on his uncle Fjolnier (Claes Bang) who kills his father King Aurvandil (Ethan Hawke) and marries his mother Queen Gudrun (Nicole Kidman). After years in exile, Prince Amleth disguises himself as a slave and enlists the help of an enchantress (Anya Taylor-Joy) to bring down the King Fjolnier the Brotherless.

Eggers brings a refreshing take on the Viking historical drama with his trademark style. Like his previous films, Eggers (along with his co-worker Sjon) goes out of his way to make his stories as historically accurate as possible. As a result, we get the ugliest side of the Viking life. The images of people in chains makes it clear that Amleth’s family owns slaves. When Amleth’s in exile, he joins a group of Vikings in pillaging and terrorizing innocent people. In one horrifying scene, those Vikings trap women and children in a cottage and burn it down. Keep in mind that the protagonist watches this happen.

What’s strange is that Eggers also includes fantastical moments that draws from Norse Mythology. The result is otherworldly imagery of Amleth meeting with the Seeress (Bjork). It doesn’t seem like this should work, but somehow these elements make strange bedfellows.

Unlike his previous films, Eggars doesn’t go for historically accuracy with the dialogue. As a result, the audience has a better grasp of what the characters are saying. The dialogue is still kind of Shakespearean but just enough to the characters are still easy to understand.

Of course, the action scenes are awesome with the blood and dismemberment you expect from an R-rated movie with Vikings. It leads to a most metal ending with Amleth and his uncle going head-to-head in a volcano in their birthday suits.

With this film bombing at the box office, it’s doubtful Eggers will ever have the means to make a film as epic as this one.

Available on Crave

4) GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S PINOCCHIO

2022 was the strange year where we got three Pinocchio movies in a row. After listening to Pauly Shore butcher lines and Disney butcher their original classic, most moviegoers knew Guillermo Del Toro’s stop motion version would be the best one by default. But even without the other two films, there would still be major anticipation for Del Toro’s first animated feature film. With his trademark fleshed out mythology, creative character designs and compelling storytelling, many expected him to perfectly capture the macabre tone of Carlo Collodi’s tale. What we got is a refreshing take on the classic take on the wooden boy who longs to be a real boy.

Del Toro (alongside codirector Mark Gustafson and co-writers Patrick McHale and Matthew Robbins) perfectly balances capturing the story’s dark tone and core storyline while changing many elements of the story. This Pinocchio (Gregory Mann) is a lot closer to the disobedient troublemaker of the original story than Disney’s sweet but gullible character. Like Collodi’s tale, this story has our hero causing grief for his creator/father Geppetto (David Bradley), being led astray by crooks and trouble making teens only to suffer the repercussions before the climax of trying to escape from inside the whale. It even includes both the Christian undertones of the original story and even its dark comedy (among them a reoccurring gag of Sebastian the Cricket (Ewan McGregor) constantly being squashed.) It also borrows a bit from the Disney version with the Blue Fairy (Tilda Swinton) bringing the puppet to life and the cricket trying to guide him.

But this film also makes a lot of changes from the original story. First, Del Toro sets the film in Italy during Mussolini’s reign. Not only does this fit into Del Toro’s reoccurring theme of life under fascism, but it brings nuance to the original story’s message of obeying your parents. While the film does have Pinocchio deal with consequences for misbehaving, the film also shows the dangers of blinding obeying those in power and makes the case that disobedience is necessary when it involves doing the right thing. The film also fleshes out the characters to bring complexity. While Pinocchio is still a disobedient troublemaker, he also has his heart in the right place and will stick up for others. Geppetto is a broken man grieving the loss of his dead son Carlo (also Mann). Sebastian is a wannabe writer who makes his home in Pinocchio’s chest. Del Toro also brings in an array of unique characters from ruthless ringmaster Count Volpe (Christoph Walz) to terrifying fascist enforcer Podesta (Ron Pearlman). All the actors do excellent jobs of making their characters engaging, especially Mann.

Co-Director Mark Gustafson perfectly brings Del Toro’s trademark style into the animation world, resulting in some unique visuals. Pinocchio has never looked more wooden with spiky wooden hair, tiny black dotted eyes, and multiple nails in his back. The Blue fairy aka the wood sprite (also Swinton) is this otherworldly blend of Hari Krishna and a mermaid. Death is this sphinxlike creature in a world of blue sand. What’s most notable is how the settings and character design resemble classic storybook illustrations come to life.

The film is also a musical, with songs created by composer Alexandre Desplat alongside Del Toro and lyricist Roeban Katz. The old timey style perfectly serves to further the narrative and reveal more about the characters, but they don’t stand out the way Encanto’s songs did. The one exception is “Ciao Papa.” When Pinocchio pours his heart out to his long distant father, you can feel that longing so much it may bring you to tears.

No wonder many see this as the front runner for the Best Animated Feature Oscar.

Available on Netflix

3) AFTERSUN

Most filmmakers try to make their films memorable. Aftersun is a rare film that feels like a memory.

On the surface, it’s a simple story of a single Dad (Paul Mescal) and his daughter (Frankie Corio) taking a trip to a Turkish beachside resort. There is no real plot. No central conflict. It’s just segments of a father and daughter on vacation. At least, that’s what it seems like at first. Hidden in plain sight are signs of the father hiding some personal pain from his daughter.

In her debut feature, writer/director Charlotte Wells takes us into segments of this vacation, even replaying some moments on camcorder. The result is a film that feels like we’re entering the daughter’s memories as she tries to understand her father.

The strength of Wells’ filmmaking is how she avoids the temptation to dramatize any element of the plot in favour of making it as naturalistic as possible. Never does she make it clear what the dad’s going through. You only get the most subtle of hints. She only applies any artistry with the ending that will stay in your mind long after the credits roll.

That’s helped by the performances by the two leads. Mescal and Corio bounce off each other perfectly, making us believe they are an actual family. They both also maintain low key naturalization throughout the film.

Put all these together and you get an unassuming drama that stays with you long after the credits roll.

2) (TIE) BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND, GOLDEN DELICIOUS AND YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER

I admit that I have a habit of putting ties in my lists, not helped by me including a three-way tie in this one. But these 3 films have so much in common that I felt they deserve to be put together. Well, that and these are probably the least known films on this list, and I feel they deserve more attention.

All three are Canadian films centered on LBGT teens who move into new locations, which leads to developing deep relationships. They’re similar yet different. The most important commonality are the compelling stories of relatable, flawed young people trying to fit into their world and figure out what they really want in life in the process.

First, we have Before I Change My Mind. Set in 1987, the movie centres on Robin (Vaughn Murrae), a non-binary preteen who moves to a small Albertan town from the US with their father (Matthew Rankin). There are of course questions from the students what Robin’s gender is. To fit in, Robin tries to befriend the school bully Carter (Dominic Lippa). On one hand, it makes it easier for Robin to form friends. On the other, it leads to Robin making misguided decisions.

Director Trevor Anderson and co-writer Fish Griwkowsky capture the everyday life of preteens as they make snide comments during music class, pick fights with each other and just hanging around in the living room. What makes this film special is how it captures the difficulties of being a preteen. Robin and their classmates try their best to fit in with their peers. Sometimes it can be found in healthy activities like hanging around in the mall. Other times it comes from misguided decisions including sneaking into their parents alcohol or in one student’s case, completely changing his personality after being bullied.

The film also captures the frustration of dealing with emerging emotions you have no understanding of and now healthy means of channeling them. That’s especially true with Robin who has no idea of their own gender identity since non-binary wasn’t a common term in the 80s. As a result, they become targets for fellow classmates who keep demanding to know if they are a boy or a girl.. Being non-binary themselves, Murrae makes the audience feel how lost Robin feels. Anderson and Griwkowsky do an excellent job of using subtext to capture this feeling. And they never offer any easy answers.

There are also some funny moments in the film. When gym class separates the boys and girls, Robin sits in the middle. Robin and Carter try to convince a drag queen (dressed like Madonna) to buy them beers. But the comedic high point is the school’s disastrous rock musical rip-off of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Next, we have Golden Delicious. Jake (Cardi Wong) seemed to be living the perfect teen life as a basketball player whose relationship with his girlfriend Valerie (Parmiss Sehat) is popular on social media. But he finds his life turned upside down when new student Aleks (Chris Carson) moves next door. As Jake and Aleks both train for the basketball team, Jake is forced to confront the pressure his father George (Ryan Mah) places on him.

Director Jason Karman (through Gorrman Lee’s screenplay) channels his youth to capture the pressure of having to live up to expectations. Jake tries his best to please his father, despite not being the best skilled in the team. Georges’s pressure is embodied by the old, decaying basketball hoop he forces Jake to practice on. Through Aleks, Jake’s confronted with the fact that he has never learned to live for himself.

Lee also fleshes out Jake’s family, who is dealing with their own pressure. George and his wife Andrea (Leeah Wong) are trying to keep their Chinese restaurant afloat, but the stress of running the restaurant has taken its toll on Andrea. When their daughter Janet (Claudia Kai) discusses her interest in being a chef, Andrea tries to forbid her. Janet has her own arc where Janet tries to create her late grandma’s dishes. This family feels so achingly human and relatable.

Of course, there’s excellent chemistry between Wong and Carson as their characters build from a friendship into a relationship.

And finally, we have You Can Live Forever. Rebellious teen Jaime (Anwen O’Driscoll) is forced to live with her aunt Beth (Liane Balaban) while her mother recollects herself after her husband’s death. Beth is a Jehovah’s Witness whose husband Francois (Antoine Yared) hopes to be the leader of his congregation. While being forced to attend sermons, Jaime develops a friendship with fellow devout Marike (June Laporte). Soon that develops into something more, which is risky in a homophobic fringe community.

A romantic film like these lives and dies on the chemistry between the leads. When two leads have such differing personalities/worldviews, it’s very important that the two leads have convincing chemistry for the relationship to make sense. O’Driscoll and Laporte pull that off beautifully, conveying a warm intimacy between Jaime and Marike as they hide in plain sight with little intimate gestures. It helps that both actresses make their characters feel like real people. O’Driscoll portrays Jaime as a typical teen whose big glasses and grunge wardrobe hides a slightly rebellious teen frustrated at being stuck in a situation outside of her control. Laporte makes Marike a timid girl devoted to her religion yet forms an infatuation with Jaime. Writer/Directors Mark Slutsky and Sarah Watts avoid the temptation of melodrama in favour of grounded empathy. They allow us to understand what Marike finds in her faith while showing how it can be stifling for Jaime.

All three deliver achingly human stories of young people trying to find what they truly want in life.

1) EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

In a time when franchises consume movie theatres, Everything, Everywhere All at Once came out of nowhere to deliver an everything bagel the zeitgeist can sink its teeth into.

Evelyn (Michelle Yeoh) finds herself dissatisfied with her life as a struggling Laundromat owner, further aggravated by her goofball husband Waymond (Ke Huy Quan), her contentious relationship with her daughter Joy (Stephanie Hsu) and her overly critical father (James Hong). If that wasn’t bad enough, she’s being audited by the IRS, forcing her to deal with an austere IRS agent (Jamie Lee Curtis). Suddenly, Evelyn finds Waymond possessed by an alternate version of himself and Evelyn’s tasked with saving multiple universes from the mysterious and all powerful villain known as Jobu.

The Dynamic Duo of Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert already proved their originality with their music video Turn Down for What and their feature film debut Swiss Army Man. Who would have thought they could create an existential tale of a mother daughter relationship involving googly eyes, hot dog fingers and a ratatouille parody?

As you expect from the Daniel’s previous works, it delivers on the weird and hilarious imagery (often involving leud objects). One minute, Waymond is gluing googly eyes on everything, and the next he’s taking down security guards with a fanny pack. That’s just one of many examples of the creative and well-choreographed fights scenes the Daniel’s have in store for the viewers. Only they could image fight scenes either involving Waymond intentionally giving himself paper cuts or henchmen trying to shove a trophy up where the sun don’t shine.

With moments like these, you would never expect anything profound in the film. And yet, the Daniels somehow balances these silly moments with deep, philosophical themes. Evelyn comes to realize how the little choices she made in life can have major outcomes after glimpsing versions of herself as a famous actress, a kung fu artist and a chef. Her journey also forces her to reexamine her perceptions of her husband and reconcile her relationship with her daughter. The battle between Evelyn and Jobu shows how perception can alter how one handles the meaningless of life. It’s surprising how deep this film can get.

The result is a cinematic miracle that delivers a truly unique experience.

Available on Prime Video

[1] When Colm threatens to cut off his fingers if Padraic talks to him again, you know a finger’s going to come off at some point.

[2] So consumed that he only has around 3-4 scenes as Bruce Wayne. It’s funny. In his Godzilla reboot, he barely showed the iconic monster on screen. For The Batman, we get all the caped crusader we could ever want.

[3][3] He also seems to be doing a better job of getting rid of corruption than Batman is.

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