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thestrangebeingyouarent · 3 years

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i love you so fucking much - coops proposal

Haha, I feel like shit so here have some fluff. Also apparently I can't just write a cute date, it always turns into some grand gesture, it's called ~love starved~ (I just had a major stress thingy, which is why I can't put my own thoughts into words, only coops cuteness)

(I had paper rings by Taylor Swift on repeat, so do with that what you will - okay update 24 hours later: there will be a paper rings lyric fic :))

And a big thabk you to my beta @tonksandherpinkhair !! I really really appreciate it!!

!! Okay so I havent been very active on tumblr lately and I literally just, like 2 min ago, found out that @fruitcoops also did a proposal fic with paper rings by taylor swift. But I just wanted to make clear that this fic (or the part 2) wasn’t stolen from them, we just got the same idea apparently lmao. (I put this "warning" here, because my anxiety just told me that otherwise everyone will hate me and think I stole the idea)

I recommend that you still read their fic because it's really fucking amazing and adorable!!! !!

Cw// food, fear of drowning, swear words

~~~

'Mon loup, you know I love you, but why are we going ice-skating? It's our job.'

'It's romantic.' Sirius raised his eyebrow. 'Okay, I saw a couple do it on TikTok, but it was really romantic.'

'But do they play ice-hockey for a living?'

'Baby, we can stay there and have dinner and look at the stars. We can stay as long as we want. Please?' Sirius was persuaded at the word baby.

Sirius hadn't exactly known what made him agree -it was the word baby- but now he stood in front of a completely frozen lake. It felt different without his protection gear and with the fact that there was ice-cold water underneath the ice. A vivid memory of 10-year old Sirius came up.

It had been his first time skating on natural ice, but I wasn't cold enough. Sirius had taken one step on the ice and his foot went right through. The worst part was that no one seemed to care, except for Regulus. It was when Sirius started to realize they simply didn’t care about anything other than his reputation.

'Pads?' Remus' warm voice broke through the memory. 'Are you alright? You don’t have to skate if you don’t want to.'

'No, I want to.' He tried to smile. 'I'm sorry.'

'No need to be sorry, come, I'll help you.' Remus carefully stepped on the ice and Sirius almost winced at the thought of Remus falling through.

But when Remus took his hand all the ghosts from his past seemed to fade away and he realized that for once in his life there was nothing holding him back from being happy.

'I got you. One foot first.' Remus helped Sirius on the ice. 'Love you. Now let's go skate, shall we?'

Sirius laughed as Remus dragged him to the middle of the lake where loads of families were already skating together.

'Honey, like you said, this is your job,' Remus laughed when Sirius slipped.

'It's the ice! It's different!' He said, but he was laughing too.

'Sure, baby.' Sirius grabbed Remus' arm and pulled him on the ice with him. 'Sirius!'

He just laughed and tried to stand up and skate away, but Loops was put on the Lions team for a reason. Remus had reached him within a minute.

'Were we planning on going somewhere?' Remus' smile still gave Sirius butterflies sometimes.

'Sir?' A small girl looked up to Remus. 'How did you learn to skate so fast?' For a second he hesitated and then he lowered himself to eyelevel with the girl.

'Hi, what is your name?'

'Everly, but, Sir, how did you skate so fast?'

'Everly, manners!' a woman interrupted her. 'I'm sorry, she's six and, well, hard to control.'

'Oh that's alright,' Remus said. 'Hi Everly, my name is Remus Lupin. I play professional ice-hockey. But I can teach you some tricks. If that's alright with your mother, of course.' Sirius heart almost melted at the sight.

'Mommy, can I please skate with Remus?' The girl tried her best to look cute and Sirius had to admit that she was almost as cute as Remus.

'You are- That means you are Sirius Black, I thought I recognized you! Ev, stay in sight, okay?' She gave her daughter a stern look and then smiled. Both her and Sirius watched them skate away.

'I'm sorry, kids seem to automatically have thing for Remus. I can't say I don't understand them, though I hope it's a different kind of thing.' The woman laughed at Sirius', slightly awkward, but apparently successful ice-breaker.

'My name is Sarah by the way. I heard everything about you and Remus on the new some months ago, that must've been hard.' Sirius normally wouldn’t answer to this, but Sarah had somewhat the same motherly energy that both Hope Lupin and Celeste Dumais had, though maybe a little less.

'It wasn't, but it got us here.' She smiled at him.

'I'm glad it did.' She turned around to look for something. 'Oh, Jack! I am so sorry, my toddler just learned how to walk and Cecile and I have trouble getting him to not walk on the ice.' She smiled apologetically. 'Could you give a shout if something happens with Everly?' Sirius nodded. 'Thank you, darling,' she said as she skated to her wife and son.

Sirius saw her kiss her wife, Cecile, on the cheek and bow down over the toddler and he couldn’t deny that he wanted that. Someday. With Remus.

Then he felt a weight against his back and arms around his hips. 'Hey baby,' Remus whispered. Sirius turned around and kissed his boyfriend.

'Where is your little admirer?'

'She's showing her mom all the tricks I taught her.'

'You'd be a great dad.' Remus seemed a little taken aback by that.

'You would too.'

Sirius couldn’t hold it in. 'I want that. Someday.'

'Me too.' Remus couldn’t hold back a smile and kissed Sirius again. 'Love you,' he whispered against his boyfriends lips.

'Hmm, love you too,' Sirius replied.

'Do you want to sit down and eat something? I brought chocolate.'

'of course you did.'

Hours later, both Remus and Sirius were getting tired. They had skated, talked and exchanged contact with Sarah and her family and Remus had eaten a shocking amount of chocolate. They had been snuggled on a thick blanket with another blanket over them in a tent-like contraption for an hour now. Remus was the first to notice it was getting dark.

'Pads. Pads, we can see the stars now,' he whispered to a half-asleep Sirius. He took his hand and dragged him up. Let's go on the ice, there is the least unnatural light.' Remus began walking.

'Honey, you forgot your skates.'

'Don’t need 'em.' He walked to the middle of the lake and promptly sat down and then laid on his back. 'You coming?' Sirius rolled his eyes, but went to lay next to Remus anyway. There they looked up, waiting for the stars to become more and more visible. The ice was cold underneath them, but Remus warmth made up for that.

After a while the stars were very visible and Remus pointed to the sky. 'Okay, if that's the north star, than North is right,' he lowered his hand in a straight line, 'there.' He pointed somewhere to into the forest next to the lake.

'How do you know this?' Sirius looked at his boyfriend looked at him.

'I might have looked up how to stargaze this morning,' Remus admitted. Sirius laughed -it could almost be called barking- when he saw Remus' grin. 'Anyway, there is Ursa Major. And I think that that is..' That was the point where Sirius stopped paying attention to what Remus said and more to him.

Remus' lit up when he talked about something made him happy. He had a wide smile and gold sparks in his eyes.

'And that's you, baby, the dog star.' But Sirius didn't look up, he kept staring at his boyfriends face. 'Pads?'

'Marry me.' It slipped out. He hadn't meant to say it, but it was sincere.

'What!?' Remus shot up.

'I- I just realized how fucking much I love you. I want to spend every second with you, I want to talk either to you or about you, I want,' Sirius trailed off in a search for words, 'you.' He smiled. 'I just want you.' Sirius had not prepared this, in any way, but he was happy with what he said.

'Bab-y,' Remus' voice broke as tears welled up and Sirius sat up and then went down on one knee.

'I'm sorry I don’t have a ring, but here goes,' he smiled apologetically. 'Remus, will you marry me?'

'Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes!' He kissed Sirius. 'Ba- fiancé,' he whispered against his lips, 'I love you so fucking much too.'

I kinda want a significant other now,, anyway, let me know if you want a part 2 where they tell people!!

(I'll probably write it anyway, but still!)

#wolfstar #sweater weather lumosinlove #sweater weather fanfic #lumosinlove #remus lupin #sirius black #proposal fic #coops #coops fluff #el's writing

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toutallyahoe · 4 years

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Middle Brother (rdr2 headcanons)

i want to write but the gremlins in my mind are fighting... well, fluff and thot gremlin are while angst gremlin is kinda dead rn which i think yall are happy to know...

but anyways, here's some brotherly headcanons on this beautiful fucking game known as rdr2 with these beautiful boahs and [Name]

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• i already established [Name] would be the middle brother with Arthur being the oldest for a year or two and John being youngest of fours years soooo (here it is if ya havent read the first)

• lets get some angsty stuff because angst gremlin isnt actually dead... yet (i think thot gremlin might kill 'em but i think yall would be happy with that)

• anyways

• when John had left the gang for about a year, Arthur and [Name] were affected by it

• the whole gang actually

• but Arthur and [Name] kinda took the blow hard

• especially how they had been with John for years and protected and taught that greasy dumbass everything he knew

• Arthur was the angered one

• Arthur's temper was really bad those few weeks of John's departure

• no one can calm him down as he always blew a fuse when someone just even mention John's name

• [Name] was the one who worried a lot and was lowkey depressed

• [Name] lost someone who he had seen as a little brother

• John didn't even said good bye to them?

• Dutch and Hosea tried everything to go back to his usual sarcastic self

• everyone tried but never worked

• it was very hard for the Van Der Linde gang for a few weeks of John leaving

• sure, they both worried for John despite that bitter and angered feeling they have

• they still cared for their little bro

• but they also felt betrayed by John leaving

• so when John came back-- one word: chaos

• it so happens that Arthur was the one who was guarding the entrance of the camp

• Arthur was not happy to see John

• he almost shot the younger man as he threatened John to leave

• Arthur's warning shot had attracted the others attention

• making them knew that John was back and they welcomed John

• it was no surprised that Arthur and [Name] came up to him in fury and tried to belittle John

• it was a surprise though when [Name] was the one who punched John on the face

• not Arthur, but [Name]

• Bill and Javier had to hold [Name] back when he wanted to tackle and beat John up while Dutch commanded him to calm down

• when Arthur and [Name] (who Javier still holding his arm just in case he'll decked the shit outta John again) heard that Dutch welcomed John again, they protested

• Arthur was against the idea of John being welcomed back by Dutch like John didn't just ditched them for a year

• [Name] was silently fuming and agreeing with Arthur

• but no one listened to their complaints and protest as there was a party to welcome John back

• the party went on as John was in the campfire surrounded by the others while Arthur and [Name] was far away from them

• John wanted to approach the two older men but Hosea had stopped him

• "give them time, son"

• John wanted to protest but remembering Arthur's glare and [Name]'s furious look at him earlier, he agreeded

• the next day, John tried to talk to his older brothers

• it was hard

• Arthur always insults him and leaves when he tries to talk to him

• and [Name] always goes into the next direction when John comes and pretends he doesn't see or hear John

• John was annoyed by it

• "why won't they just talk to me?!?"

• John often asked himself

• "you left for a year. didn't tell anyone and they took it hard, John"

• Hosea had explained as the older man had seen how Arthur and [Name] reacts to John's approach

• "just give them time... they missed you but you know how stubborn they are"

• skip to a few weeks

• Arthur's and [Name]'s attitude to John haven't change

• they were still pissed and angry about him leaving

• John tried to get into their good graces but the two really were stubborn

• John done chores in the camp, helped out as much as he can to prove that Arthur and [Name] could trust him again

• but it seems like the two just wont give him another chance

• it honestly was a sad sight to see

• John tried his best but Arthur and [Name] just wont acknowledge his efforts

• those were the moment John realized how much he hurted his older brothers

• John thought be could never get that old days they had again

• but John was stubborn as his brothers too

• he wont give up

• John took their attitudes as motivation

• one day, they were low on food and John offered to hunt

• was a mistake

• John should realized he always gets in trouble with nature

• John did caught some prey for Pearson to cook

• about five rabbits or so which is good enough for now

• when John was putting the rabbits corpse on his horse, he heard growling

• John Marston knew he was in trouble

• in camp, [Name] and Arthur were the first too knew of John's disappearance

• sure, they were still mad with the greasy ass bitch but even what John did, he was still their little brother

• [Name] asked where John was and when he had heard John went out hunting few hours ago, he and Arthur immediately knew there was something wrong with John still not being back

• [Name] had urged Arthur to saddle up as they were going to track the "golden boy"

• Arthur almost didnt want to come if it wasnt for [Name] giving him a pleading look

• Arthur sighed and had went with [Name] to track their greasy little brother

• after awhile, they found John's hunting spot

• how did they knew? John's horse laying dead with scratches and bite marks on its body

• [Name] dismounted his horse as he inspected the dead horse's body

• "fuck... goddamn it Marston"

• [Name] and Arthur looked at each other and knew that John wouldnt be far behind

• aswell as danger

• Arthur pulled out his shotgun while [Name] took out his pistol

• the two were high alert on the danger

• they began to track John again on foot as they knew the forest was dense for their horses

• [Name] did the tracking as Arthur looked around just in case the things that killed off John's horse will appear and jump onto them

• after tracking for awhile, they had heard screaming

• they immediately knew who was screaming as they ran to find John

• they did found their dumb greasy little brother

• John was up on the tree with some bruises while there are four wolves beneath the tree

• [Name] immediately saw John's gun on the ground which he cursed John for it as he and Arthur held up their guns to shoot the wolves

• they killed the wolves and John looked so fucking happy

• "i though i'll be stuck in this tree for days"

• [Name] merely rolled his eyes as he approached the tree John was and took out his knife to skin out the wolves they shot. wanting the wolves pelt to craft some stuff despite it being poor

• "yeah, well, would've done us good if ya got eaten"

• Arthur grunted as John went down the tree and hissed at his bruises

• [Name], being finished with skinning the wolves and having the pelt had grabbed John's gun on the ground and shove it at John's chest

• "next time, don't leave yer gun on the ground"

• [Name] said as he went to Arthur, carrying the wolf pelt

• John looked at both his older brothers and bit his bottom lip

• he knew they were still mad but he was happy that they actually cared enough to save him and not be wolf food like his horse

• "th... thank you..."

• John had said as he walked behind Arthur and [Name]

• "whatever. now hurry up, before more of those wolves come up from the smell of blood"

• Arthur and [Name] lead John back to where they left off their horses and helped John up to sit on the back of [Name]'s horse while [Name] placed his pelt on Arthur's horse

• when [Name] and Arthur mounted on their horses and ride, it was quiet

• John wanted to say something but bit back his words as he didnt know what to really say

• [Name] lead away as Arthur was behind them, just in case some wolves follow them as they rode off the forest to go to the dirt road

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seoups · 4 years

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TRIGGER WARNING: ANGST, SELF HARM, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE

Growing up in the system with your brother didn’t help you growing up. You and Keigo had no parents to help you with anything. But you had each other, and that was better than any parental relationship.

Your brother soon became a pro hero and the number 3 pro hero. His hero name is Hawks. When your quirk had developed, it was learned that you had the same quirk as your beloved brother.

Keigo trained you as much as he could before you were sent to take the UA entrance exam.

Not to his surprise, you passed the exam and were set to start going to school at UA.

“Good job, squirt,” he ruffled your hair. “Thanks,” you said. “Aren’t you excited?” he asked. “Not really,” you said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to be a hero but I’m just not excited for 3 years of getting judged by my peers and self-questioning if I’m good enough to be in the course.” “You need to lighten up,” he said. “If only it was that easy,” you said. “Are you ok, kid?” he asked. “Sure,” you said, walking away to your room. “Hey, kid, get back here!” he exclaimed, flying after you. “What?” you asked. “Seriously, are you ok? Do you wanna talk about something?” he asked. “Yeah, I’m fine. You can go,” You said. “I know something’s on your mind,” he said. “Just… you’re such a legend around here. What if I can’t follow your footsteps and be as good as you,” you said. “Everyone at this school are the best of the best. What if I can’t compare?” “Kid, I’ve taught you everything I’ve learned. You are more than comparable. And even if you still worry about that, just don’t tell anyone that you’re my sister,” he said. “Sure,” you said. “Ok, now get a good night’s rest cause you have to go to school early tomarrow,” he said. “Ok, sure. Are you gonna come drop me off?” you asked. “I’ll try my best to make it,” he said. “Ok,” you said.

Your brother ended up being busy in the morning and you flew to school yourself. Once you arrived at the UA gate, you landed, encountering a red head with pointy teeth.

“Woah, that’s an impressive quirk,” he said. “Oh, uh, thanks,” you said. “I’m Kirishima. I think we met at the exam,” he said. “Oh right, I’m y/n,” you said. “What class did you end up in?” he asked. “Class 1-A. What about you?” you asked. “Me too! I hope the rest of our classmates are cool and manly like you,” he smiled. “I’m not that special,” you blushed. “Yes, you are!” he exclaimed. “Your quirk is so cool and flashy. Mine’s nothing in comparison to yours.” “What? All quirks are awesome,” you said. “Well, the flashy ones are definitely the best for heroing. Speaking of heroing, your quirk is a lot like Hawks isn’t it?” he asked. “Oh, I, uh, never thought of that before. I guess they are quite similar,” you internally panicked. “Oh hey, Kirishima!” a boy who distinctly reminded me of pikachu screamed out towards the red head. “Hey Denki!” Kirishima exclaimed. “Who’s this?” Denki smirked. “I’m y/n,” you said. “Nice to meet you, Y/n,” he smiled.

You smiled back.

“Are you in 1-A too?” you asked him. “Yeah! This is gonna be so much fun!” he exclaimed. “Maybe,” you smiled.

Maybe this class wasn’t going to be so bad.

During lunch, you got a call from your brother. You answered, bringing the phone up to your ear.

“Hey, kid, how’s the first day?” he asked. “It’s surprisingly good. It’s a lot better than what I expected,” you said. “That’s awesome! I got to go, but I’ll see you later tonight,” he said. “See ya,” you said, ending the call.

“Boyfriend?” Kirishima asked. “Brother,” you corrected. “Oh gotchu,” he said. “Me? A boyfriend? No one would want me,” you laughed. “What? You’re crazy,” Denki said. “Not crazy, just right,” you said. “Not right, just fucking stupid,” Sero said. “I- Sero’s such a bully,” you laughed. “You clearly havent had a conversation with Bakugo before,” Kirishima said. “WHAT DID YOU SAY SHITTY HAIR?” Bakugo screamed. “Ah, I hear it now,” you laughed. “I’LL KICK YOUR ASS!” he screamed. “Wanna try me, pomeranian hair?” you asked, sending a feather close as possible to his neck. He growled in your direction. “That’s exactly what I thought,” I took the feather back. “Damn, Y/n, you’re kinda scary,” Kirishima chuckled. “Good,” you chuckled. ~

You flew home, in a surprisingly good mood. After a few hours, your brother returned home.

“Hey, kid, how was school?” He asked. “It was good,” you smiled. “A smile? That’s unusual. What’s got you so happy?” he chuckled. “I have some friends now and they think I’m pretty cool,” you smiled. “No one’s ever really done that before.” “That’s amazing, y/n!” He smiled. “Kiri did say that my quirk was similar to yours but other than that I don’t think they suspect anything yet,” you said. “You should just tell them I’m your brother,” he said. “That’s too high expectations for me,” you said. “If they’re really your friends they won’t judge you based on your family,” he said. “I don’t want to take any chances. I like them a lot, Keigo,” you said. “I don’t want to lose the only friends I’ve ever had. You of all people should understand that.” “Y/n, I-” you cut him off by leaving and going to your room, locking the door behind you. “Y/n, come out,” he knocked on the door. “No, I’m tired,” you lied. “That’s bullshit, you sleep at 1 in the morning,” he said. “I’m sleeping early,” you lied again. “Bullshit. Y/n M/n Takami get out here,” he said. “No,” you said. “Y/n, please. Just talk to me. I know you’re dealing with a lot of shit right now and me not being here most of the time isn’t helping with that but I need you to talk to me,” he said. “I’m going to bed early, Keigo,” you said softly. “Just please tell me that you’re ok,” he said. “I’m fine,” you said. “Ok. I believe you. Goodnight, y/n,” he said. “Night,” you said.

You moved to your bed, lying down.

If I have this great life where my brother makes a ton of money and is one of the top heroes, why do I feel like this. Why do I feel like my life is nothing compared to everyone else? Why do I feel like I’m not doing enough? Why do I feel guilty for feeling this way?

You sighed before getting up and going to the bathroom, rummaging through your cabinets. You grabbed your razor, smiling as the light glinted in the blades. Disassembling the razor and grabbing a blade, you lifted your skirt and the band of your underwear. You pressed the blade into your skin, dragging slowly, trying your best to hide your whimpers.

I deserve this. I shouldn’t be sad. I have everything. I deserve this.

You wrapped your cut with gauze and bandage before you pulled down your clothes again and rinsed the blade, tossing the razor in the trash.

I deserve this.

You went back to your room and flopped on your bed. The pain coming from your side distracting you from your energy you still had left, causing you to go to get tired and go to sleep.

“KID WAKE UP, YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!”

You woke up to the sound of Keigo screaming. Quickly getting ready, you ran out of your room.

You ran to the apartment door.

“Wait, Y/n, you have to eat something!” he screamed. “I’m good,” you said before running out the door.

You ran to the first floor before flying to school. You entered the homeroom 2 minutes late.

“Y/n! You can’t be late!” Iida exclaimed, doing some weird hand motions. “Let alone late on the first day!” “I slept in and my door was locked so my brother couldn’t wake me up,” you said, sitting in your seat. “Why didn’t you parents wake you up?” Denki asked. “Don’t have any,” you said. “Oh, I’m sorry, y/n,” Kiri said. “It’s not like they left me, I never even met them in the first place,” you shrugged. “I just try to forget about it.” “It must’ve been tough without parents growing up,” Uraraka said. “We managed,” you shrugged. “Guys, lay off with the questions,” Jiro said. You smiled at Jiro. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Kiri, can you cover for me?” you asked. “Yeah, sure,” he said.

You went to the bathroom and locked yourself in the stall.

Lifting your skirt again, you used a feather to cut a light slit in your hip again, this time lower than the last one.

They probably left because of me. They saw me after I was born and were so disgusted that they threw me and Keigo out. He should be blaming me for not having our parents. Why doesn’t he?

You wrapped gauze and bandage around your hip.

The gauze seemed to be lightly visible, but it wasn’t visible enough for someone to question.

You walked back to class.

“Thanks for covering,” you mouthed to Kiri.

He gave you a thumbs up.

“Hey, Kid,” Keigo said as you walked into the apartment. “Hey, you’re home early,” you said. “Yeah, I had some free time,” he said. “Ok, well I have to do some homework,” You said, walking toward your room. “Wait a minute, Kid,” Hawks stopped you. “What’s that?” he gestured to the gauze. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you panicked. “Don’t lie to me,” he said. “I said, it’s nothing,” you repeated. “I will pin you down and see what it is, don’t test me,” he said.

After a second of quick thinking, you attempted to run to your room but Keigo, who has trained his quirk longer, was faster than you and swooped in front of you.

“Y/n, show me it,” he said. “Keigo, please, no,” you cried. “Kid, the fact that you’re trying to hide it from me is making me worry and I’m really hoping it’s not what I think it is,” he said. “Keigo please,” you pleaded. “Show it to me. Please,” he said softly.

You cried as you lifted up your skirt and took off the gauze.

“Did you do this to yourself?” he cried. You sobbed as he pulled you into a hug.

“Do you want therapy? Will that make you better? What can I do to help you? Please I’ll do anything to help you,” he sobbed. “I don’t know,” you cried. “Is school doing this? Is Aizawa drilling you too hard cause I’ll beat his-” you cut him off. “School isn’t doing this,” you cried. “We’re gonna get you therapy and a diagnosis. We’re going to the doctor tomarrow after school, don’t be late,” he said.

You nodded before heading towards your room.

“Wait,” he said. “Bring me all your razors.” “Keigo I-,” you started. “Don’t argue with me on this one,” he said. “And I’ll go to your room and check so don’t try hiding any.” “Ok,” you nodded your head.

I can just use my feathers. I’ll be fine.

“And don’t fucking think about using you feathers. No more locking the door,” he said. “I’m sorry,” you said. “It’s not your fault,” he said, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your temple.

You smiled and went to your room. Grabbing your packs of razors and bringing them to him.

“How am I supposed to shave?” you asked. “Here, hold up,” he said.

He went to his room and came back. A beard trimmer in his hands.

“Use this. The blades arent sharp enough to cut you but they shave pretty well,” he said. “Thanks,” you said, putting it in your bathroom.

“Hey, y/n, are you ok?” Kirishima asked, clearly worried. “Oh, uh, yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for worrying about me though,” you feigned a smile.

He got closer to you.

“Y/n, are you sure? I know the look of not being ok and you’re giving me that look. And I know that was a fake smile,” he whispered.

You took a deep breath before speaking again.

“Meet me outside after class,” you said. “Ok,” he smiled.

…

You smiled as you saw Kirishima outside.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” he asked. “You were right. I’m not ok,” you said. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m all ears. I know how it feels to not be ok,” he said. “Um, you know how I don’t have parents but that really affected me a lot and my brother not being around a lot also contributed to that so I started to do a bunch of really, uhm, unhealthy things like self-harm,” you said, your voice breaking. “Y/n, if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he said, hearing your voice break. “N-no, I want to be able to talk to someone other than my brother about it,” you said. “Ok, then continue,” he smiled. “Yesterday, my brother found out that I self-harm and there was a lot of crying but he was really supportive and wants me to get better and now I have a doctor’s appointment today and I’m getting diagnosed,” you said. “That’s amazing, y/n!” he exclaimed. “I hope that you can get better and stop your habits.” “Thanks, Kiri,” you smiled. “Can I tell you something?” he asked. “Sure,” you said. “I like you a lot, Y/n. And I want you to get better and be happy so I’m gonna do whatever you need me to do to help you out,” he blushed. “You like me?” you asked. “Yeah, and I don’t care if you don’t like me. I just want to help you out,” he chuckled.

You smiled before you hugged him.

“Thanks, Kiri,” you smiled.

He hugged you back.

“No problem, Y/n,” he smiled.

You ran to Kirishima as you entered school grounds.

“Kiri!” you exclaimed. “Y/n! How’d it go?” he asked. “It was good! She diagnosed me with depression and prescribed me some meds, and I have therapy tomarrow. I mean, I was sobbing the whole time but it counts, right?” you asked. “It does,” he smiled. “and I’m really proud of you for doing that.” “Thanks, Kiri,” You hugged him.

…

“So, you two aren’t dating?” Denki asked. “Nope, just best friends,” you said. “Somehow, I doubt that,” he said. “Well, we’re just best friends so you’re gonna have to believe it,” you said.

You two chuckled.

“Kiri! I’m a week clean!” you cried. “Good job!” he picked you up and spun you. “It’s all thanks to you,” you said. “I didn’t really do anything,” he said. “What do you mean? You supported me the entire time,” you wiped the tears from your face. “You did that all yourself! All I did was reassure you,” he smiled. “I love you, thank you for being there for me, Kiri,” you hugged him. “O-Of course, Y/n!” he smiled.

…

“HAPPY 1 WEEK!” Keigo screamed as you entered the apartment. “Thanks, Keigo,” you chuckled, hugging him. “Are you feeling better?” he asked. “Uhm, a little bit,” you smiled. “The intrusive thoughts are gone so I call it a win.” “That’s good. You’re awesome, Y/n. Thank you for doing this,” he hugged you again. “It’s not that great of an accomplishment but thanks,” you chuckled. “Are you kidding me? This is amazing progress! Next thing you know, you’ll be 100 years clean!” he smiled. “I don’t even know if I’ll live to be 100 years old,” you said. “Don’t say that,” he pouted. “I mean like in the natural way,” you said.

Lie. The intrusive thoughts aren’t gone. You aren’t doing better and this accomplishment is bullshit. It’s praising you for doing the very least.

Brushing the thoughts aside, you went to your room.

“Tomorrow, we’re gonna have a bring your parents to school day. Yay,” he feigned a cheer.

The whole class looked at you with a sympathizing look.

How did they all know? Were people talking about you behind your back? Where they trash talking you for being a loser with no parents?

“Y/n, I’m sure you can bring your brother?” Aizawa asked. “Oh, uh, maybe,” you said. “He’s really busy most of the time so I’m not sure.”

You can’t even get your own brother to show up? That’s fucking pathetic.

You were sure that’s what they were thinking. You knew they wouldn’t say it to you because they were too nice.

…

“Keigo, there’s this bring your parent to school thing tomarrow, do you want to come?” you asked. “You want everyone to know that I’m your brother? What about the high expectations?” he asked. “High expectations are better than everyone thinking that I can’t even get my brother to hang out with me,” you said. “Ok, I’ll come with you to school tomarrow,” he said. “Thanks,” you said. “Anytime, kid,” he said.

“Kid, let’s go, we’re gonna be late,” Keigo said. “I’m coming!” you exclaimed.

We left the apartment and flew to school, landing at the gate.

“Woah, Y/n, this is your brother? Your brother is Hawks?” Denki asked. “Uh, yeah,” You said. “Nice to meet you,” Keigo shook his hand. “You too,” Denki said.

Kirishima ran up to us, a taller woman coming behind him.

“Hey,” he slung his arm around me. “Hey, Kiri. Meet my brother, Keigo,” you said. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kirishima,” Kiri smiled. “Nice too mee you too, Kirishima,” Keigo shook his hand. “Oh, and this is my mom,” Kiri introduced us. “Nice to meet you,” You smiled.

We walked with Kiri to class 1-A. Keigo pulled up a chair next to me and sat by my desk. Everyone was staring at us.

Aizawa had everyone introduce their parents and you waited patiently until it was your turn to introduce your brother.

You and Keigo stood up.

“Uhm, this is my brother, Keigo. You guys probably know him better as Hawks,” You said. “Nice to meet my little sister’s classmates,” Keigo ruffled your hair. “You’re impossible,” you said, fixing your hair.

You two sat back down.

You looked around. Everyone was so happy with their parents.

I could never have that relationship with my parents. They looked so happy with their parents. Their family doesn’t have to worry about them killing themselves.

I should just end it so Keigo doesn’t have to worry about me.

“You ok?” Keigo asked. “Yeah, I’m good,” you smiled.

They probably left you cause you were weak and lame.

You took a deep breathe before you and Keigo left for your next class.

…

“Alright, Kid. This was fun but I have to go work,” Keigo said. “Ok, what time are you gonna be home?” you asked. “7 maybe?” he said. “Ok, I’ll see you at home,” you said, hugging him. “See ya, Kid,” he said before he took off.

Is that the last time I’ll hug him?

The day ended as soon as it had started, and you headed home.

You popped the note into your pocket and started flying home. You flew to the top of the apartment building and stood there.

I’m sorry Keigo. I’m sorry Kiri. I’m sorry for being a pain. I’m sorry for making you worry.

You flew up higher before you put your wings away, letting yourself free fall.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

You felt yourself getting close to the ground. But you didn’t stop yourself.

You let yourself fall and hit the pavement.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?” Keigo screamed in the Hospital waiting room. “Sir, please calm down,” the doctor exclaimed. “Just tell me what she did,” he cried. “Based on the injuries, we can tell that she fell from a high distance. At least 500 meters. And since we know she was heavily depressed and was taking anti-depressants, we believe this was suicide. Especially cause we found this in her pocket,” the doctor said, handing the note to Keigo. “Thanks, doc,” he rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

He opened the note.

Hi,

It’s Y/n, but I guess you know that. I know your angry. I know you’re hurt. I know you probably hate me but you have to understand.

I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t pretend I was ok when I wasn’t. The pills weren’t helping. The therapist wasn’t helping. The intrusive thoughts never left. They just got worse.

I wanted to help people but it turns out that I couldn’t even help myself.

Keigo I’m sorry. You were the best brother in the world and I’m sorry for doing this to you. I love you so much and thank you for trying to help me out. I’m sorry for leaving you alone. I’m sorry for being a terrible sister. I’m sorry for ruining everything. I’m sorry for being the worst. You were so supportive and you just wanted the best for me but I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t stay here and I need you to understand that. Please continue to be a hero and help everyone. I love you.

Kiri Thank you for being there for me and being the only one I could rely on at school. Your quirk is amazing and is definitely hero material, flashy or not. You’re going to be the best hero out there. You were always so smiley. Keep smiling for me, ok? I love you.

Keigo wiped the tears away from his face before he stepped into the classroom. He stood at the front.

“If you guys remember me, I’m Keigo, Y/n’s brother. You might have noticed that Y/n wasn’t here yesterday and I’m here to talk about that,” Keigo said, his voice breaking. “Yeah, is she sick or something?” Kirishima asked. “The day before yesterday, Y/n killed herself,” Keigo said.

The class was silent. No one could comprehend what happened. Kirishima was stunned. His best friend killed herself. He thought she was getting better.

They had a moment of silence for their classmate.

Keigo walked up to the redhead.

“You’re Kiri, right?” he asked. “Yeah, I am,” Kirishima said. “She wrote a section for you in her note. You should read it,” Keigo handed him the note. “S-She did?” he stuttered. “Yeah. You were incredibly special to her. Thank you for trying to help her,” Keigo tried to smile.

Kirishima tried to smile back. He read the note before handing it back to her brother. Keigo ripped off the part that was for Kirishima and gave it to him.

“Thanks,” Kirishima said.

Keigo smiled back before leaving.

“I’ll keep smiling for you, Y/n,” Kirishima smiled.

#bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #bnha kirishima #incorrect bnha quotes #bnha eijiro kirishima #kirishima #kirishima eijirou #kirishima angst #kirishima fluff #boku no hero academia hawks #boku no hero academia kirishima #hawks angst #hawks fluff

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shadedrose01 · 4 years

Text

My First Kiss

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Peter Parker has his first kiss with Harley Keener

Tags: Febufluff, Day 21, First Kiss, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Accurate Kissing, accurate first kiss, It aint like the movies guys, Sorry to tell ya, Gay Harley Keener, Bisexual Peter Parker, Boys In Love, Established Relationship

Day 21 of Febufluff: "First Kiss"!

A/N: apparently I cant stop writing and take a break even if I want to (even if i should 🙃), so have two fics in one day oops okay bye love y'all

'wait you've never kissed someone before? like ever?!?'

'No?? Is that a problem? :/'

'no no of course not! im just surprised, that's all'

'Why are you surprised?? You know I havent had a partner before'

'yeah yeah I know but like'

'you're gorgeous pete. like, perfect. who wouldn't want to kiss you?'

Peter chuckles lightly, glancing around him as he does, finding his teacher still at the front of the class, still teaching, still not focusing on him. Good. He looks back down, typing out his response quickly, knowing he could get caught at any minute.

'Awww, you're so sweet'

Its first period on a boring tuesday morning, advanced math, pre-calculus, and Peter is bored. He did this math last year with Mr. Stark, when he got bored during the summer and they couldn't think of anything better to do than to do math problems. Hell, he had some actual calculus that day, not this pre shit. But he cant just skip a course, no matter how much he longed to, no matter how absolutely boring these classes were, the teacher droning on and on about things Mr. Stark taught him in ten minutes or less.

Luckily, he has his boyfriend to keep him entertained.

'im just telling the truth, sugar ;)'

And to flatter him, apparently, Peter's face burning, his cheeks aching as he smiles wide, his chest filling with warmth.

Him and Harley were new, to say the least, but they had always been more than friends. Even on the day that they met, two months ago, Harley had flirted with him immediately, and Peter had flirted back, much to Tony's fake disgust (and very real amusement, though he'd never admit it). So when Peter had finally taken the extra step a few weeks ago, and stopped beating around the bush to ask Harley out, and they started actually dating, not much has changed. Not that Peter minds it, he actually quite enjoys it. They didnt change themselves once the 'boyfriend' label was stuck to their backs, they're still the goofy, teasing, flirting pair they were before it all, and Peter adores it.

The only thing that had changed was them getting closer, and stronger as a pair, which was never a bad thing. Peter trusts Harley more than he trusts anyone else (minus May, he doesnt think anyone could beat May), and he really likes him and-

And he really, really wants Harley Keener to be his first kiss.

Peter bites his lip, scanning the room once more before he types out his message, sending it before he can overthink it, his leg bouncing anxiously.

'Do you want to?'

The typing bubble pops up immediately, even though Harley is in class as well and should also be paying attention. But Harleys like him in that sense, a little too smart for their own goods, so he guesses that they're in the same boat. The message shoots through, and Peter reads it quickly.

'kiss you?'

'Yeah'

Typing again, but this time, the bubble disappears and reappears multiple times, as if Harley is typing and stopping, typing and erasing, trying to think out his words. The action only makes Peter more anxious, more nervous, his hands automatically pushing up to his face, rubbing against his cheek as he picks and chews on his nails, a terrible, awful habit he needs to learn how to break.

The new message appears, and Peter's heart stops.

'yeah i do'

'but we don't have to until you're ready darling'

'I want to.'

'are you sure?'

'Im positive.'

It takes a few seconds extra for the next message to send, as if Harley needs a moment to catch his breath too.

'okay, meet me under the stair case at recess, at the far end of the hall'

Peter places his phone face down on his desk, tapping his pencil and bouncing his leg as excitment and nerves swirl in his stomach, in his chest, internally screaming, because holy shit he's going to kiss Harley Keener, he's going go kiss his boyfriend holy shit-

He sends back a quick okay before trying to focus back in on the lesson (but mostly paying attention to the clock in the corner of the room), a wide grin on his face for the rest of the period.

Once the bell finally finally rings, Peter races out of his chair, rushing to his locker and dumbing all of his materials into it before closing it and making his way to the stated destination, his heart racing and his hands beginning to sweat.

When he turns the corner of the staircase, Harley is already there, leaning against the wall and looking way too good to be fair, also looking just as nervous and excited as Peter feels. He stands up straight when Peter approaches, his face softening from its nervous furrow into a gentle look that melts Peter from the inside out. "Hey baby, good morning."

"Morning." He whispers, stopping once hes stood right in front of Harley, closer than any friends would be but still enough distance between them for personal space.

Theres a awkward pause for a few moments, before Harleys speaks up again, his blueish gray eyes going serious, intense as he states, "You sure about this? We can still wait, Pete, I won't judge ya-"

"I know," Peter cuts in, laughing gently, smiling at his obviously anxious boyfriend. "I want this. I want it to be you."

Harley freezes, before he tilts his head up, looking up at the ceiling and then away, blinking rapidly, his cheeks flushing a pretty pink as a wide grin grows on his face, a look of awe shining through. "Okay, okay, cool cool, okay." He looks back to Peter, eyes still glistening slightly, but churning with so many strong, warm emotions that it makes Peter's head spin. "If you're sure."

He steps forward, then, pressing into Peter's personal space, a welcome presence even as it causes Peter's nerves shoot through the roof, his breath warm and heavy on Peter's mouth. "I'm sure." Peter breathes back, even as his mind starts screaming at him, because what if he doesnt do it right, what if he messes it up, what if hes a bad kisser, and Harley doesn't like it, or what if-

Harley leans in, soft lips are pressed to his, and suddenly everything is quiet. Everything that was so loud, blazingly, screamingly loud is so so so quiet, almost a whisper as Harley's lips, a little wetter and chappier than Peter expected, moves against his, once, twice. Peter tries to follow, he does, grasping onto Harleys upper arms to gain some semblance of balance as he messes up the rhythm, as their noses bump against each other awkwardly, as he feels Harley's nose scrunch up immediately afterwards, feels him laugh against his mouth as he pulls away.

Peter body flares, embarassment and shame flooding through his body as he thinks he messed it up, ruined the kiss, berating himself for not being good, when Harley speaks up again, shocking Peter out of his thoughts.

"For a first kiss, that actually wasn't that bad."

Peter gapes at him, eyes wide. "R-really? But I thought-" He cuts himself off, but Harley seems to get the hint, chuckling again.

"You should've seen my first kiss." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "5th grade, a girl named Susie. She had braces, we kissed with tongue because we didnt know what we were doing. Mouth full of metal." He shutters, and Peter laughs lightly, airy, feeling a bit better and less like a failure of a boyfriend.

"Ew, that sounds awful."

"It was." Harley agrees, grinning dopily. "Ain't much like the movies, is it?"

Peter shakes his head firmly, laughing wholeheartedly now, smiling wide as Harley joins in. No, definitely not like the movies. He hadnt felt any butterflies, or sparks, or anything else they had said he would. He had just felt lips, and wetness. He doesnt know why he expected anything more.

"But, the good thing about it," Harley continues once they calm down, cocking his head to the side with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Is that you get better with practice."

He wiggles his eyebrows, making his point known, and Peter snorts, before sighing in faux annoyance. "Guess we'll just have to keep at it, huh?"

He doesnt even give Harley time to respond, leaning back in and kissing the words off of his lips.

Yeah, he thinks he could get used to this.

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batfam-imagines · 5 years

Note

I literally love your batfam writing so much, can I request something? Can batsis (biological daughter of Bruce) be adapted after her mum dies and she's obsessed with makeup and loves it so all the boys think she's shallow and conceited? But she's not? Thank you so much

Makeup

Tim flops on the couch beside his eldest brother, “Did yousee her room? She’s got a one of those makeup mirror things. The one with thelights in the mirror and all the drawers. When I walked by, she was filling thewhole thing up with makeup”

“Are you serious? Who needs that much makeup?”

“I don’t think Steph, Cass, and Babs have that much makeupcombined. I mean I know her mom was a model and all, but she must be stupid shallowand obsessed with her looks”

There’s a soft creak as the door open and both boys glanceup to see the newest member of the Wayne household standing awkwardly in thedoorway. “Hi, Alfred said that you two were in here … he said that you guys wouldn’tmind giving me a bit of a tour. I only know where my room and the kitchen is …”

Dick lets out a put-upon sigh and heaves himself off thecouch, “Yeah, come on, I’ll show you around.”

Y/N glances up at him when they’re passing one of the hugebay windows, “You know, you have beautiful cheekbones, they’d be perfect be forsome highlight. And Tim has some beautiful eyelashes, I have to use falsies ormascara to that kind of length. You know I have -”

“Not everyone needs makeup to feel good about themselves,Y/N”

She freezes for a few seconds before catching up to him, “Iknow. I don’t use makeup because I don’t feel good about myself. I use it becauseit makes me confident, it’s like a mask that helps me take on the world. Ienjoy makeup, I don’t need it, Dick.” Her eyes lock with his, “This familyshould know all about mask, right?”

Dick almost chokes out a disbelieving laugh, that’s definitelysomething he’ll need to bring up to Bruce but for now he’ll ignore it. “So, youhave all that different makeup, and spend all that money just because you likeit?”

“I actually get a lot of my makeup for free. I have a YouTubechannel where I teach people how to put on makeup, so different makeupcompanies will sometimes send me their new pallets or supplies for me to testout and review. Mom taught me to be confident in who I am, to love myself andothers based on who they are as a person. I try to help my followers becomeconfident in themselves while I’m teaching them how to do makeup” The older manjust continues to stare at her, “Maybe you shouldn’t judge people on their outwardappearance and try to get to know them first”

Y/N quickly walks the rest of the way down the hall andstraight into her room while Dick slowly makes his way back toward the livingroom where Tim is still sitting. “So how was it? Was she completely airheaded,or could she actually hold a conversation?”

“She actually seems pretty smart, like she had a reason forhaving so much makeup. I guess she uses it all for her YouTube channel, and tohelp other people gain confidence in themselves”

Tim quickly sits up, “Do you know what her YouTube name is?I want to look her up”

“I don’t know, just search her name, it’ll be her mom’s lastname”

Tim types for a minute, “I found her … holy shit, she hasover 8 million followers”

“You’re kidding me. She was telling the truth? Play one ofher videos”

The two boys play a random video from two months ago. Y/Ntalks about how it doesn’t matter how much makeup someone layers on their faceif they’re ugly on the inside it’ll show. She talks about just being confidentin everything you do and in believing in yourself. The boys end up watchingvideo after video. Watching as she does casual day makeup, or night out makeup.How sometimes her mom or friends will appear in the videos and she’ll do theirmakeup as well as her own and the guest will share their own words of wisdom.The last video the two end up watching is the most recent one Y/N had posted,dated for only a few days after her mother had passed away. It isn’t a makeupvideo at all, it talks about loss and figuring out how live life after losingsomeone so important. Y/N talks about Bruce, how her father who she’s never metintends to take her in and adopt her. Finally, it wraps up by saying that shedoesn’t know when she’ll be able to post again, or even if she’ll be able to answeranyone messages.

“Did we completely misjudge her and act like total assholesto a girl who just lost her only parent up until recently? We’ve both lost ourparents and we were total assholes to her just because we assumed she wasshallow and conceited, when really she just likes makeup and uses it to expressherself”

Dick groans, letting his head fall into his hands, “How dowe make this up to her?”

“Maybe we should follow her advice and actually get to knowher. I think … I think we should treat her like a member of the family insteadof like an outsider. We need to talk to Jason and Damian, you know they’ll cometo the same conclusion we did and yeah, Damian’s gotten a little better overthe years, but he still doesn’t have much a filter.”

“You’re right. I have a great idea. We should have a siblingmovie night, then we call all get to know her at the same time and she can getto know us. She won’t feel so alone here afterwards”

“Perfect! Just us tonight, and maybe next week we can getall the girls over here too?” Dick quickly nods his agreement, “I’m going totell Alfred and see if he can whip up some snacks for us. Can you call Jasonand get Damian?”

“Yeah, I got them. I really hope this works. We might havejust ruined our relationship with Y/N because we judged her over her makeup andnot her personality. We should know better, god we’re so stupid” Dick lets outa soft sigh and pulls out his phone, “Let’s just hope she can forgive us”

A voice clears behind them. Both vigilantes whip around,their eyes wide, having not even heard the door open, “You know, I’d forgiveyou a lot quicker if you’d apologize, that’s typically how these things works”

“Y/N, you scared the crap out of me!” Dick lets out a shakybreath, “I’m sorry … We’re sorry for judging you without getting to know you.We’ve known a lot of models and just kinda assumed that you were like all of them.I didn’t mean to judge you, or insult you”

“I understand. I’m a stranger coming into your guys house.You don’t know me, you guys didn’t even know I existed until recently, so ofcourse you’d assume things about me. That doesn’t make it right though, howeverI’m going to forgive you this time. I want to get to know my new brothers, solet’s put this behind us, okay?”

Tim grins, “Thank you. So we were gonna have a movie nighttonight, the four of us guys and you if you want. A way for all of us to get toknow you and for you to get to know us … if you want”

Y/N grins, “I’d love to, that sounds like fun … but we NEEDto have some kettle corn for the movie and some cookies”

Both guys snort, “I thought you were all into the healthy lifestyleand being the best you can be? That’s what your videos said”

“That’s what some of them said, but then I also say that it’sokay to indulge as long as you do it in moderation. So, I’ll be going to the gymtomorrow, but tonight we can watch movies and eat what we want”

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll call Jay and go talk to Damian”

“I’ll go ask Alfred if he can make cookies, you haven’t hadthe chance to try Alfie’s cookies yet, Y/N. They’re amazing!”

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botanicalbarnes · 5 years

Text

We Should Talk

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words:1720

Warnings: Overthinking, a bit of angst?, fluff!

Summary: Bucky tells Y/N that they need to talk. (I still suck at summaries)

A/N: This is for @buckthegrump‘s writing challenge! It was really fun writing this and I hope you like it!

You stared down at the incoming texts worried and nervous. “Hey doll, we should talk. You have time to meet? Our spot at 6 tonight maybe?” you read aloud.

“Oh, what do you think it’s about?” Asked Nat who was sitting next to you on your bed.

“I don’t know! We should talk?! We’ve only been together for four months. What if he doesn’t like me anymore? What if he wants to break up with me?” You ranted on like that for a minute or two more and ended up face down on your bed mumbling inaudibly about how you don’t know what to text back.

“If you’re done, I just replied so you don’t have to. I know how you get.” You stare at her a bit scared of what she might have said. She stops blowing her nails dry and gives you a look. “What? I just said you’d meet him at ‘your spot’. And don’t look at me like that. I know you, and you would have sit there for an eternity thinking of something to say to such a simple text. It’s probably nothing. You may not notice how he looks at you but everyone else does. We have forever. I highly doubt he’s going to break up with you.”

“I don’t know Nat…I can’t help but worry and be paranoid. I guess that’s just who I am. I’ve let down so many walls with him that I never thought I would. He makes me really happy, and I’m not ready for that to be over.”

“And you never will be.”

“What do you mean?” You ask confused at her statement.

“Y/N, I know it hasn’t been that long since you’ve been together. But I see the way you are around him, and how he is with you. I’ve never seen you like this, and you’ve never been one to even entertain the idea of love and relationships. You make eachother better, and you know it. And you know what I think? No, what I pretty much know? You love him. Even if you havent realized it yet.”

You stayed silent at her statement. You sat speechless, not being able to deny it, nor validate it. “I-I’m not sure. I know that he makes me happy and I really really like him. But I don’t think I can actually say that I love him, not now. Not if theres a chance he’s going to break up with me.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait.” Nat said with a small smirk on her face. Even that worried you a bit.

***

You tried your hardest to push it from your mind. But all that got you was more overthinking and pacing once Natasha left your room a good hour later. You could swear that you were doing everything to not think about it. A hot bath, candles, tea, a nap, reading, running, you name it. But nothing seemed to work. Even in your sleep, anxiety crept into your dreams. Or whats worse, you couldn’t even get yourself to fall asleep and instead you lay in bed, thoughts running wild.

You don’t understand how you’d grown so attached so quickly. So dependent. You were brought up to always push your own feelings and interests out of the way and get things done. Taught that love was for children and that it would only make you weak.

Until you and Bucky started getting to know eachother, you believed that wholeheartedly. Even if you would have wanted something more than that, your past would have gotten in the way. Your mistakes and all you’d done would have come back to haunt and ruin any good thing you could find for yourself.

All until Bucky. Someone who didn’t care about any of it, because he was the same way. Only a bit worse. Together, you got yourselves through it. Past any skeletons in your closet or ghosts coming back to haunt you.

He made you forget. Forget all the bad things and memories, and make new good ones. Now, you didn’t want to lose that.

A small ‘Ping’ pulled you out of your mind. It was a message from Bucky. ‘Bring a coat, it might get chilly😘’. You smile at your phone and began typing a reply, when your eyes shifted to the time: 5:47. Great…now you only have twenty minutes to get ready and on the roof.

Quickly running into your bathroom, you managed to quickly fix your hair and makeup so you would look decent. Then rummaging through your closet, you pulled out your purple knitted sweater and tugged it on along with your jeans. After checking yourself in the mirror one last time, you grabbed your phone and walked out the door.

Approaching the door that led to the rooftop, you let out a breath and opened the door. Even now after all the times you’d been up here, the garden and lounge decorated with small soft lights still put you at ease and amazed you. Surprisingly, barely anyone came up here. That’s another reason you loved it. And the reason you and Bucky started getting close.

Long story short, you came up here to read and get your mind off things a lot. De-stress, if you will. One night, you came up with a book in hopes of calming down after another nightmare. Shortly after you settled in your usual spot, In came James Barnes. Clearly having the same plan. Both of you were surprised to see eachother, but sat together and talked until dawn when you began falling asleep. After that night, you met up here, for anything really. Sometimes, you’d even come up at insane hours of the night at the chance of seeing him here. This is where he asked you to be ‘his girl’ and where you shared your first kiss together. All your best memories were made on this rooftop.

As you made the turn towards the spot you normally sat at, you saw him looking over the edge of the building, left arm resting on the edge. He turned towards you and smiled brightly, which in turn, as it always does, made you smile just as bright. Getting up, he took your hand as soon as you were in front of him and brought it to his lips. You forgot every worry you had and let out a giggle at his actions that never failed to make you smile.

“So…you’re probably wondering why I asked you to meet me up here to talk. I ran into Nat earlier and she said you were nervous. But really, I need to talk to you, to tell you something important.” Suddenly your worries came back quickly and you were sure It showed on your face in an instant.

Before he could say anything else, you were already speaking. “What is it? Is it that you don’t want to be with me anymore? I mean I get it. I know I can be clingy one minute and cold and distant the next. And I know I come with a lot of baggage and issues. And with all you’ve been through I get why you wouldn’t want to deal with anyone else’s problems on top of all that. I get it, ya know? I want you to be happy and if you think this will help with that then-“

You were cut off by warm lips meeting yours harshly. After a few seconds, you parted and looked at him lacking the words on your tongue just moments ago.

“Just, Stop talking for a second! Why the hell would you ever think I wanted to break up with you?” He laughs. “And you didn’t even let me talk. Have you been thinking like this all day?” Now, you could hear the worry in his voice.

“Pretty much…” You reply honestly. No use hiding it now.

“Oh babe, I’m sorry I made you worry like this. I should have just told you to meet me.” All you could do was mumble out a “s’ok” while you waited for him to continue with blushing cheeks. “Now I kind of feel dumb for making this a whole thing but I feel like I have to.” Curiosity would make you explode if he continued on like this.

He turned away from you and took a few steps before turning back in place. “Y/N, ever since I met you, you make me feel…happy. Theres so many words I could use to describe how you’ve influenced me. I have been through so much shit and never did I think, I still don’t, that I’d be worthy of someone like you. You light up my day, you make me better, and you help me through all things that go right and wrong. After all I did as the Winter Soldier, after everything, I didn’t think I’d be capable of feeling the way I do. I didn’t think that anyone could ever bee with me and take me as I am. But here we are I guess. That’s why I’m making such a big deal of this. That’s why I need to tell you this, even though I know you probably don’t feel the same and it might be too soon. I love you, Y/N. Without a doubt in my mind. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

His words left you stunned and without even thinking, you said, just loud enough for him to hear, “I love you too, Bucky.”

He looked up from the floor into your eyes searching for any sign that you might be lying. “And I’m so glad you’re in my life.” All of a sudden and barely without warning, he was in front of you, hands on either side of your face, lips on yours. Your hands moved to hold his arms and one you leaned into him as he kissed you passionately and softly all at once. When you separated, all you could do was smile up at him and giggle like a schoolgirl.

“God, I Love you, I love you, I love you!” He repeated again and again placing kisses all over your face as his voice got louder and you laughed.

“I love you Buck, and don’t you ever forget it.”

Tags: @tessasangeltom

#em’s writing challenge #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #fluff #bucky fluff #slight angst #bucky barnes fic

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fanfics4all · 5 years

Text

Seeing The Past

Request: Yes / No Heyo! If it’s not too much trouble (which is fine if you’re busy!), can I get a 15, and 33 with Rick Grimes? Thank you! @arthur-morgans-sweetheart

Request are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Rick Grimes x Rhee!Reader

Word count: 1926

Warnings: Glenn’s death

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Who knew the end of the world would happen this way? Dead people roaming the earth… People seeing their loved ones as rotting corpse walking around or lying dead on the ground. It was a depressing world, but my brother helped me keep surviving. Glenn Rhee was the one person I was living for still. We may not be related by blood, but he was my older brother (By only a year, but he acted like I was way younger.). I was adopted by his parents before the world went to shit. He was always protective of me and when the dead started walking, he was even more protective. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere outside of where we were staying without him. He knew I could handle myself, but he didn’t want to take any risks. When our group found Alexandria, Glenn was so happy. He thought we were finally in a safe place and so did I. Glenn, Maggie, and I had our own house with running water and everything! It was amazing that a place like this still existed! It almost felt normal… That was until someone named Negan came into the picture…

Glenn went with some of our people to take care of the Saviors and Negan. I was told to stay back. Glenn and I fought and he ended up winning. Before they left I ran to the gate.

“Glenn!” I called to my brother and he turned around.

“‘I told you you’re staying here!” He said with a slight glare.

“I know, I am. I just wanted to say I love you and you better come back to me in one piece.” I said with a worried tone. His face softened and pulled me in for a hug.

“Y/N/N, don’t worry. We’ll be back before you know it.” He said smiling down at me.

“Please be careful…” I said and he nodded.

“I love you squirt.” He said ruffling my hair. Then I watched them leave and the gate close.

It was a week when the group came back. I watched the gate open and everyone walk in. I ran up to them and looked for Glenn. I didn’t see him. I didn’t see Maggie. I didn’t see Abraham. I didn’t see shasha. I didn’t see Daryl. I looked at what was left of the group confused and worried.

“W-Where’s Glenn?” I asked. Everyone looked at me sadly and the looked at Rick.

“Y/N-”

“Where is my brother?” I asked louder and more worried.

“I’m sorry…” Rick said and my eyes glossed over.

“No… No! He can’t be dead! What did you do!?” I shouted at him.

“Hey, it wasn’t his fault.” Carl said.

“Like hell it wasn’t! It was his idea to go after them in the first place!” I shouted with tears falling down my face.

“I’m sorry Y/N…” He said shaking his head.

“How did he die?” I asked looking at the ground, watching my tears hit the dark ground.

“You don’t want to know.” He said.

“That’s not your decision to make! How did my brother die?” I asked glaring at him through tear filled eyes.

“Negan. We didn’t kill them all… Negan killed him.” He answered.

“How?” I asked not accepting that as the answer.

“You don’t need to know that…” He said.

“Tell. Me. How. My. Brother. Died.” I said determined to know.

“He bashed his head in… there was blood all over the ground…” Rick said and I let out a cry.

“W-where’s his b-body?” I cried.

“Maggie took it with her to Hilltop. Her and Sasha.” He answered.

“This is your fault.” I said and ran into my house.

That happened months ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday… My brother was dead. The one person that I was surviving for is dead. The rest of the group had been keeping their eyes on me because they thought I was a danger to myself. They weren’t wrong. I was a danger to myself, that’s why they took all my weapons from me. I could hear my brother’s voice every day and it was driving me crazy. He would tell me how this isn’t how mom and dad would want me to act. How he was worried about me. How I should leave my room. How I shouldn’t have hurt myself. How I should be living my life like he taught me. How I should be surviving…

“Hey Y/N?” The voice of the man I never wanted to see again rang through my room. I didn’t answer and just kept staring at the wall.

“Are you okay?” He asked. Again, I ignored him. He sighed and I felt him sit next to me on my bed.

“Glenn wouldn’t want you living like this.” He said and I looked at him for the first time since he told me my brother was dead.

“Don’t you say his name.” I growled at him.

“Y/N, Glenn would want you to survive, to fight-”

“He’s dead because of you!” I shouted getting up.

“Negan killed him not-”

“You’re the reason he was out there in the first place! He only went because of you! You killed him!” I shouted crying once again.

“I’m sorry…” He sighed.

“Get out.” I said.

“Y/N please, just let me talk.” He said and I growled.

“Get the hell out of my house!” I shouted and threw a book at him. Rick got up and I heard him shut the front door. I sat back on my bed and hugged my knees crying.

“You need to forgive him.” I heard Glenn say.

“He killed you…” I said looking up at him.

“No Y/N/N, Negan killed me not Rick.” He said and I shook my head.

“You went because of Rick…” I cried.

“I went because of you. I wanted to keep you safe and I knew that would be the only way to do it.” He said and I stared at him.

“You died because of me then?” I asked crying more.

“No, I died because of Negan.” He said and I swear I could feel his arms around me.

“You need to forgive Rick.” He said.

“Only if you don’t leave me again…” I said.

“I’ll never leave you.” He said and again I swear I could feel him kiss my head like he always did.

A week after that Glenn kept telling me to forgive him. I figured Rick would come check up on my again, but he never did. My brother told me to leave the house and apologize and forgive him. So for the first time in months, I showered, got dressed in something other than just Glenn’s clothes, but I still wore his sweatshirt. I walked downstairs and grabbed the handle to the front door.

“Just open the door Sis.” He said and I took a deep breath.

“You’ll be there with me right?” I whispered. I thought I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Always.” He said and I opened the door. The sunlight felt nice on my skin, I haven’t seen it in so long. I could feel everyone looking at me. I kept my head down and walked to the Grimes’ house. I knocked on the door and after a few minutes I looked up to see Carl answer.

“Y/N? You’re- You’re here…” He said shocked and I nodded my head.

“Um… is your dad home?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, come on in.” He said moving to the side. I walked in and he called up to his dad. Rick walked down and looked at me shocked.

“Carl, why don’t you go check on Rosita.” Rick said to his son. Carl nodded then left the house.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” He asked.

“Forgive him.” My brother’s voice said to me.

“I’m sorry I blamed you… Glenn wouldn’t blame you.” I said and he looked at me shocked once again.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t bring your brother back to you.” He said walking closer to me.

“It’s okay… I know he’s always with me.” I said and Rick pulled me into a hug. I looked behind him to see Glenn smiling at me.

After that day Rick was keeping me close to him. He was actually really sweet and caring. He actually asked me on a date, which I thought was weird seeing as it was the end of the world, but I accepted. It was surprisingly nice, he made dinner, we watched some movie he had in their house, and the night ended with a kiss. It was a pretty nice night, and I haven’t had one of those since Glenn died…

We got into a relationship and everyone was shocked to say the least. But when they saw my smile back they understood. They were happy to see me back to normal. Well to them I was normal, but my brother haunted me. I wasn’t even sure if it was his ghost or if he was something my mind made up to help me cope. Rick wanted me to move in with him and Carl after a few months, but I was scared to. I didn’t want him to know about Glenn…

“Glenn?” I asked when I didn’t see him with me.

“Glenn? Where are you?” I asked my eyes starting to water. There was no answer.

“Glenn please!” I called out and tears left my eyes.

“Glenn, Don’t die on me– Please.” I cried holding my knees to my chest.

“Shhh, I’m right here Y/N/N.” I heard him say and I looked up to see him smiling at me.

“Where were you? I thought you were gone again.” I said sobbing.

“I’m sorry, Sis, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said.

“You can’t leave me like that! I can’t do this without you!” I said and he pulled me to him.

“Don’t worry little sis, I’m never leaving you.” He said.

“I love you Glenn.” I said.

“Y/N?” I heard Rick’s voice. I looked up and saw him looking concerned.

“Rick? What are you doing here?” I asked and looked my brother.

“Who are you talking to?” He asked looking around my room.

“N-No one…” I said.

“I heard you say your brother’s name. Do you see him?” He asked walking closer to me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I said and glanced at my brother.

“Tell him.” Glenn said and I shook my head.

“No…” I whispered, but Rick heard.

“You are seeing him… How long?” He asked.

“I’m not seeing my-”

“Don’t lie to me.” He said sitting next to me on the bed.

“How long?” He asked.

“Since he died…” I said and he sighed.

“Y/N, he’s gone…” He said and I shook my head.

“No! He said he’d never leave me!” I cried and he pulled me to him.

“He’ll always be in your heart, but he’s not here Y/N.” He said and I shook my head.

“I can’t do it without him…” I said and he pulled my face up to look at him.

“You have me.” He said and looked into his eyes.

“I love you Y/N, and I’m going to do right by Glenn and protect you. Including protecting you from yourself.” He said then captured my lips in a kiss. It was sweet and mixed with the saltiness of my tears.

“Let me help you.” He said and I nodded.

“Okay…”

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @tigermillionaire-philanthropist @marveloverdcsstuff

#The Walking Dead #the walking dead imagine #rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x fem!reader #glenn #glenn rhee #glenn x sister!reader #carl grimes #fanfic #request #prompt

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sadprose-auroras · 5 years

Text

‘About Time’ - Roger TaylorxFem!Reader (Part 1)

A/N: Hello my darlings! I can’t decide if I hate this or not, and I’m not sure if I’ll continue writing this, depends on the response. Please let me know if you want me to continue it (it would probably require way more parts, like a full on series). Hope you enjoy! - Also, this can apply to Ben Hardy’s portrayal of Roger. Whatever you prefer!

(This was totally inspired by a couple time travel fics I read a few weeks ago, I can’t remember the authors or the names but all credits to them for the time travel idea…. LOVE. IT. I just HAD to write my own, crappier version)

Find my other works here!

You sunk to the floor, your knees giving out beneath you. You felt ridiculous, curling up in a ball, in your wardrobe, but you had reached your breaking point; everything had suddenly hit you. As you hugged your knees, sobbing, your jeans became tear-soaked. Your mind wandered, as your cheeks flamed in embarrassment and shame about your current state, despite nobody being around. How did you get here? A few months ago, your life was great. You had a great job, a great circle of friends and boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion; studying fashion design. Then, everything began to crumble around you. All your friends turned on you, you got fired, and your studies began to slip as a result, causing you to fail an exam.

If all that wasn’t bad enough, you found out your boyfriend of two years had been cheating on you for a year and 11 months. Go figure. It was as if the universe was playing some long, cruel joke on you, just to see how long before you gave up on trying to pursue any kind of happiness. Just as you came to the conclusion that you really had nothing to fight for, leaning your head back on the wall behind you and closing your eyes, the strangest feeling overcame you. Your head began to spin, and pins and needles covered your entire body. You tried to open your eyes, to move your body, but you were frozen. Your heart rate increased rapidly, and you began to think that this was really it. Whatever was happening, you were going to die. Strangely enough, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

By some miracle, everything stopped. The pins and needles ceased, and, save a throbbing headache, you felt much better. You experimentally wiggled your toes, and you had feeling back again. Hesitantly, you opened your eyes, looking around you. It was dark, but you could make out the shapes of the clothes hanging around you. Oddly, you didn’t recognise any of them. The chair that was next to you when you closed your eyes was gone, replaced by a shoe rack.

You stood up, closed your eyes again and rubbed your temples, trying to rid of the probable hallucinations. You racked your brain, thinking back to when you studied psychosis in high school. You couldn’t remember a thing. Was temporary paralysis a symptom?

You decided you needed to call a doctor. You pulled your iPhone out of your pocket, still in the dark, and opened up safari. You had no wifi, and no reception. Frowning, you opened the wardrobe door, the knob feeling unfamiliar, to be greeted by a figure doing the same. The door swung open suddenly, bouncing on its hinges.

You both screamed loudly, and, without looking at the figure in front of you, you tried to push past to get away, however, a hand gripped you and pulled you back.

Your eyes became fixed on the man in front of you. You frowned, unable to tear your eyes off him. The hallucinations were getting worse; you were conjuring up images of people in your home. Hang on. You knew his face all too well; you had spent hours watching him drum and sing at concerts on YouTube. It couldn’t be, could it?

“Who are you, and what the hell are you doing in my wardrobe!?” he asked, releasing his grip on you. You winced, rubbing where his fingernails had dug into you. This was all too much.

“I should be asking you the same thing, why are you in my house? What’s going on?” you looked around the room, expecting to see your familiar bedroom; your posters plastered around the walls, your colourful duvet, and your plush white carpet. Instead, the walls were empty, the duvet was blue, and the carpet was grey.

“I need to sit down,” you said, overwhelmed, perching on the edge of the unfamiliar bed. You glanced up at the man in front of you, his expression still shocked and wide-eyed, as he looked you up and down, his brows furrowing.

“God, you seem so real,” you laughed. “But there’s no way.”“What the fuck do you mean?” he replied. “I know I’m real, but I can’t say the same about you. I’ve never known anyone who can just appear out of thin air,” he shook his head in disbelief.

You frowned, rubbing your hands through your hair. “What do you mean, I appeared out of thin air?” your stomach began to sink. For reasons you couldn’t explain, something else was going on. Something much weirder than you initially thought.

“Well, I don’t see how you could have got into my wardrobe without me seeing. I’ve been in my room for 20 minutes.” You glanced at his legs, frowning. What kind of person wears flared jeans anymore?

“I, um,” you began, a laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. This was all too ridiculous. You were actively avoiding eye contact with him. You figured if you acknowledged that it was him, at that age, in front of you, this would all go away. It was impossible. Suddenly, it all came together, as shocking as it was. It wasn’t him that was in the wrong place, it was you. This wasn’t your house. You had no wifi or reception. And, Roger Taylor, looking as he did circa 1972, was right in front of you. Had you time travelled? Your head span at the possibility. What else could explain these strange occurrences?

“What year is it?” you asked, this time properly meeting his eyes this time. Photos didn’t do the real thing justice; his baby blue eyes were maintaining steady eye contact with you, his lips were slightly parted, and his hair looked so soft and angelic. He was insanely beautiful. You internally cursed yourself. Now was definitely not the time.

“1972…” he said, becoming even more confused. Your theory was confirmed. You’d watched all of the Back to the Future movies countless times, but you’d never imagined anything like that could ever really happen. Especially to you; plain, boring, old you.

“I know you’re probably not inclined to believe the crazy girl from your wardrobe, but I think,” you bit your lip, concerned at how he would take the news. “I think I’m from the future.”

----------

“So, you’re telling me you didn’t do anything for this to actually happen?” Roger asked. After trying to explain to him a million times, that yes, you were in fact just as confused as him, and no, you didn’t climb through his window, you tried to remain patient. He had every right to be confused as hell, you would definitely react the same if you were in his shoes. Despite this though, he was oddly trusting, allowing you to remain in his house and actually giving you the time of day to explain your side of the story. He even offered you a glass of water and something to eat, which you accepted gratefully. You were starving.

“Yes, I was literally just in my wardrobe, then the next thing I knew we were screaming in each other’s faces.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? You don’t seem very sane so far. I’m going to need some proof. You could just be a crazy girl who will do anything to sleep with me,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes. So the stories were true, he really was cocky.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Taylor,” you retorted. “And no,” you said quickly, as he opened his mouth to speak, “I don’t know your surname because I’m a crazy stalker.” Your mind wandered to your extensive Queen record and CD collection. Okay, so maybe you were a little, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I know because Queen makes it big. I mean, massive.” You bit your lip nervously. If Back to the Future taught you anything, nobody should know too much about their own future. For the first time in your life, you had to think about what you said before you said it.

“How can I convince you?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “What year do you claim to come from, anyway?”

“2019,” you bit your lip.

His eyes widened in disbelief. “Shit,” he mumbled. “Am I….?”

“Still alive? Yeah.” Suddenly, you had an idea. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, thankful it was still charged. You turned it on, the time and date you had left still displayed on the screen (18th January 2019, 11:00), in front of a picture of Queen from 1975. You turned the screen towards him.

“Holy shit, is that me?” he gasped, leaning forward. “2019.” He looked up at you, and you shrugged and nodded. You were thankful he didn’t know the implications of having a picture of somebody as your lockscreen.

“There’s something else,” you unlocked your phone, opening music and searching for ‘Doing Alright.’ You pressed play, the song pouring out of the speakers.

Yesterday, my life was in ruin

Now today, I know what I’m doing…

“Oh my god, that’s our song! We haven’t even released it yet.” He chuckled. You couldn’t help but grin at his excitement, encapsulated by his gorgeous smile.

“Wanna hear more?” you smirked. It’s funny, you had never felt so comfortable around somebody so quickly. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him relaxed you.

----------

“Have you noticed I haven’t asked about that thing you’re holding, ‘cause I’m too scared to?”

You laughed, covering your mouth with your hand. You’d spent the last half an hour playing Roger a few more Queen songs. A small nagging voice in the back of your mind was telling you to stop, to not reveal anything about his future, no matter how small. But Roger’s pleading to hear more won.

“It’s actually a phone,” you said, to answer his question. “Well, that’s its main purpose anyway. You can use it to take and store pictures, play music, and use the internet. Which, well, you’ll find out about in approximately 18 years.”

“I’m intrigued, what’s the internet?” he asked. You thought of all the unspeakable things you had come across on social media, and shook your head.“You don’t want to know.” He raised an eyebrow at you, and you tried to suppress a blush.

You cleared your throat, averting your eyes from him as you straightened up in your seat. “What’s the time?” you asked. He glanced down at his watch. “3am,” he laughed in disbelief. “We should probably get some sleep. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

You shook your head rapidly, taken aback by his utter kindness. “Oh my god no, please, I will. It’s your house,” you said, getting up from the chair you were sitting on. He did the same. You both stood awkwardly, basically staring at each other. You couldn’t help but think of the times you watched a Queen documentary on TV, with the Roger of your time’s commentary. It was hard to believe the man in front of you was the same person.

He cleared his throat, tearing his eyes off you, and going into his bedroom, mumbling something about getting something for you to sleep in.

As you awaited his return, you couldn’t help but wonder why you were so focused on how flustered you were around Roger, and not worried about the fact that you were literally stuck in the wrong year, and had no idea how to get back. The funny thing was, you had no desire to. You hadn’t felt so at home in a long time, than when you were laughing and talking with Roger. He made you feel so safe, so quickly. And that feeling would only grow stronger when you both gave up on convincing the other to sleep on the couch, and ended up sharing his bed.

PART 2: BONUS CONTENT THAT I WROTE THE SAME DAY AS PART ONE. I’M NOT GOING TO CONTINUE IT BUT WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVING IT IN A WORD DOC N NOT POSTING IT?

When I was writing this, I couldn’t stop imagining rom-com moments. Like, the outfit section? A cute montage with a cute song. Damn I wish I could express the images in my head more clearly, in words. My writing sucks.

“Y/N, wake up. Y/N!!” A familiar, yet foreign, voice startled you. As you came to your senses, you realised your usual soft, silky sheets were replaced with cotton ones, and an unusual smell wafted around you. You slowly opened your eyes, to be greeted by Roger leaning over you, a slightly annoyed look on his face. Fuck. It was real. He must’ve read your disappointment on your face, and he smiled sympathetically and nodded.

“Yep, you’re still here,” he mumbled. You couldn’t help but sigh; you’d hoped it was a really long, unusual dream.

“I have to go to rehearsal for a gig tonight. Do you wanna come?” Of course you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to meet the rest of the band, and literally see the magic happen, you couldn’t help but feel like you were invading. But then again, who could say they had the chance to sit in on an early Queen rehearsal, especially knowing how successful and impactful they were going to become?

“I don’t – I don’t want to intrude,” you mumbled, sitting up in the bed and clutching the duvet around you, suddenly feeling exposed in Roger’s white shirt.

“Well it’s your choice, I understand that you probably don’t want to sit around with us when you could be finding a way back home or finding your parents or something,” he said.

Although you would never admit it, you wanted nothing more than to go with him. Not only was it literally history in the making, but the absence of your birth parents in your life, leading to a childhood of foster families who couldn’t care less about you, gave you a sense of independence at a young age. You knew how to be alone, seeking solace in music. Music created by the greats like Queen made you feel less alone, as silly as it sounded. It was your escape from the struggles in your real life.

“Wait, no. I want to come. If you don’t mind. But I need something 70s appropriate to wear,” you chuckled, glancing over at your high-waisted skinny jeans and cropped knit jumper folded neatly on a chair.

“I think that can be arranged.” Roger grinned at you, and you were struck with yet another wave of disbelief. Roger Taylor was going to lend you come of his iconic clothes.

After spending a couple of hours going through Roger’s clothes, which was your absolute dream, you finally settled on a pair of pants that were a little too short, and a shirt that was slightly too tight across the chest. You tried to spice up the outfit with a few of Roger’s necklaces, much to his dismay.

“Do I look okay?” you asked when you stepped out, twirling around with your arms out.

Roger, standing with a pile of clothes in his arms that you had rejected, furrowed his brows and looked you up and down. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the sight; he was taking his job as your stylist very seriously.

“You’ll almost fit in,” he said, “although, the shirt is too tight,” he finished bluntly, gesturing to your chest. You folded your arms instinctively.

“Don’t worry, I won’t look at your boobs.” You frowned at this. Was that meant to make you feel better? Why did you feel slightly disappointed?

“Um, thanks?” you scoffed. “What should I do with my hair?” you tugged on each of your French braids. Roger walked towards you without warning, and pulled out your hair ties, running his fingers through your hair.

“Just leave it loose.” He said hoarsely, his face dangerously close to yours. Your heart was beating rapidly, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He was biting his lip in concentration, his eyes squinting as he adjusted your hair. It took everything in you to not lean into his touch; his fingers were so delicate. As he pushed a strand of hair out of your face, his eyes met yours.

“Perfect,” he almost whispered, his breath sending shivers down your spine. You knew you should pull away. You knew this would get way too complicated. Your rationality was telling you to snap out of it. But as his hands smoothly came to rest around your neck, bringing you closer, something else entirely was driving your actions. Just as you began to lean in, he pulled away, clearing his throat loudly.

“Let me get you a coat,” he said, quickly rushing away from you. You bit your lip, cheeks flaming. You were humiliated. What were you thinking, trying to kiss him? He obviously wasn’t attracted to you; the weird, pathetic crazy time-traveller. You didn’t even belong here anyway, how could you possibly think he would want you? Your eyes began to well up, you just had to get out of there.

As you quickly began to gather your clothes and phone, furiously wiping the tears from your eyes, Roger returned with a fur coat in his arms.

“Here, this should fit – wait, what’s wrong?” he asked, realising your state.

“I’m just gonna go. I’m so sorry to have invaded your life like this, you shouldn’t have to deal with my weird ass problems. Thank you for everything. It was nice meeting you, I guess. I’ll never forget you,” you rambled, becoming increasingly embarrassed, trying to walk past him. He gently placed his hands on your upper arms, turning you to face him.

“Hey, hey, I don’t have to help you, okay? I want to. If you’ll let me.” he said, a surprisingly vulnerable look on his face.

“But, I’m burdening you too much! You can’t have me holding you back from living your normal life. You don’t want me clinging to your side like some kind of….” You paused, struggling to find the right words in your frazzled state. “Some kind of leech. I mean, I’m just annoying. For God’s sake, we have nothing in common! I’m technically young enough to be your daughter!”

Roger laughed softly. “Okay, first of all, you’re not a leech. And yes, it’s weird that you’re from the future, and I’ll probably never wrap my head around it, but so what? We shouldn’t get along, but we do.” You hoped he couldn’t notice your blush at this.

“And, lastly,” he said, a cheeky smirk on his face, “the thought of you being my daughter is gross, but me being your daddy on the other hand…”

“Oh my god, Roger! No!” you couldn’t help but laugh, as you rapidly shook your head. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not; you secretly hoped he wasn’t.

“So, do you still wanna come to rehearsal?” he asked, all joking aside.

You sighed, hoping you weren’t being a burden. “Okay, give me that then,” you grabbed the coat off him, pulling it on.

“Do I look normal?” you asked.

“No,” he smirked, and you raised your eyebrows at him. “In a good way, though. Come on,” he said, grabbing your hand. You tried to ignore the jolts of electricity you felt from this sweet gesture. You never thought simply holding hands with someone would give you so many butterflies.

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #queen #queen band #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #brian may #freddie mercury #john deacon #queen imagine #fanfic #queen fanfic

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pinkletterday · 5 years

Text

The Flash 5x4!!!

I am HYPED, you guys! FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT'S UP WITH MOMMA AND BABY.

Whatever it is Im going to deeply empathize with and love both of them.

Idk who this stupid af bitch is running straight into a blazing hail of fireballs and trying to take selfies but I hate her.

Iris. Iris. Baby. Hahahahaha Nora knows what a disaster her Mom is in the kitchen. I love you sfm Iris.

Hey Nora this version of your Mom just met you so hold back on the teenage sass, okay?

Ok this isnt funny anymore my heart is aching for Iris.

Young lady sit back down and eat that breakfast your Mom made for you.

"Make you a banana" lmaoooo this is why Barry does all the cooking. Gawd I love the domesticity.

I love that Iris can't cook. It just adds to her perfection. I guess I really am a fool in love, huh?

Oh God this guy. Shut up shut up shut up. Did this buffoon just call Cisco Ramon not brave???

I wish Ralph would take the lead here. That's right, I like Ralph now. This season is magic.

I would find this softball thing adorkable and hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that Barry is literally the Flash. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Would have been much more interesting if Barry had turned into a star athlete overnight and everyone just boggled.

Otoh it provides an interesting (read: hilarious) look at their dynamic growing up. Their different dorknesses cancel each other out.

I am irked. Why is the Flash a hopeless athlete? HE CATCHES KNIVES OUT OF THE AIR. How does he just switch off his co-ordination?

Kinda nice seeing all the ladies together like that though. Cecile is a gift.

NORA IS A GAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A BABY QUEER IN THE HOUSE aaaaaand you are seriously trying my patience here. Be rude to your mother one more time. See how that goes.

Oooh Momma Bear is on the case! *hearteyes*

See, Baby Giraffe is already better at this than The Fraudulent Frenchie.

I hate to say it but based on that lumberjane chic I think we have another queer in the house. But this one we don't want.

Loool "like her size extra small". I hate to say it but thats a way better reason for her codename than "excess" ugh.

No it was different because she never knowingly put the people she was writing about in danger you asshat. God I wish you weren't so pretty.

Another black man wrongly accused. What up, America.

...Joe what. You guys. Jesse Martin looks bad. IS HE OKAY I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.

Momma coaching Baby through speedster things! Because Barry taught her that one time she was a speedster. I can't handle this. My heart.

She FINALLY thanked her! Iris's smile.

My girls. I can't.

OMG SOMEONE REMEMBERS EARLY EDITION! I loved that show!

Also. Iris West, ace reporter, always better than fake hoes. Watch and learn, padawan.

Am sad we're not getting any Cisco Ramon. I hope Carlos is enjoying his mini-vacay. Otoh, I really like that Caitlin is included in the West-Allen circle this ep.

I wonder why Nora doesnt call Cait and Cisco Aunt and Uncle. They must be the godparents.

It's okay Ralph. Some leads don't pan out. If Shitloque was an actual detective he'd know that.

But I love that the heroes of Central City can walk around in public and interact freely. Oliver's team would need to break in and scare the bejesus out of some poor unsuspecting sod.

NORA IS A DISASTER LESBIAN CONFIRMED. Or probably a disaster bi like her Dad. I AM LOVIN' THIS.

THAT MOMENT WHEN THE PENNY DROPS FOR BARRY THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS A GAY LMAOOO

Fuck I love that Iris never even blinked when Nora said Spencer was cute. She probably sussed it way before. I love you Momma West-Allen.

Oh no oh no I was right. Iris pulled a Joe West. Goddamn it. I mean I get why, I get how traumatized and scared she must have been but IRIS NO YOU DON'T LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN TO PROTECT THEM. Remember how you felt when your Dad did that to you?

I am legit heartbroken, you guys. I really wanted to be wrong. I blame Joe West's goddamn patriarchal shitty parenting for perpetuating this cycle of lies.

I swear to God if this show tries to justify lying and manipulating your kid again I'm going to give up on it. It's triggering as all fuck (I still havent recovered from S1 and 2) and I need Iris to be held accountable when she fucks up, not let her turn into another Fefe who can do no wrong.

Jesus Christ Iris, trying to force a conversation with Nora by invading her privacy and ignoring her need for space is not okay. BOUNDARIES, girl.

Oh okay but she's holding herself accountable thank fuck. I mean, Barry's right she can't be blamed for what she might do in the future but IT'S STILL WRONG.

I was actually shaking. Friendly reminder that survivors of parental abuse and manipulation are also watching this show, some of us with CPTSD.

"What if my Dad did something like that to you"?? Er. Iris? Remember when he lied to you for twenty years about your mother being dead and you didn't talk to him for six months?

Oh here we go. You've stood there like a gormless beanpole for three episodes without so much as trying to intervene Barry and this is how you choose to comfort your wife. Not "yes, it's a bad thing and we can't know what led you to the choices future you made but in the here and now you know not to. We can learn from the future and make different choices, Iris."

PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT, CAITLIN.

...I just meant for frightening Caitlin, but he actually wants to be punched?

Ooooh that was satisfying! Pretty sure her form was all wrong but can't argue with the results.

I love how fucking competent Iris is??? She knows how to use the entire STAR Labs tech arsenal. Although that Vibe device kinda defeats the whole purpose of breechers. It's like if they had a device lying around that could give just anyone super speed.

Not sure how Spencer thinks XS can kill Flash. One's a n00b and the other is veteran.

Wait, Baby Flash can do what now?

I don't like that they had to dumb Barry down so much to give Iris a chance to shine. A couple can both be competent at the same time! It's called being a power couple! Not one-half Idiot Ball couple!

So her phone got powers? Huh??

Ah yes. Dark Matter. More multi-purpose than Quantum.

Okay cool Ralph is getting his due. "Less right" LOL

"That puts meta-human powers in the hands of anyone" kinda like having a Breeching device, no?

We have meta-humans, meta-phones, meta-daggers (a tech dagger??) HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THE DARK MATTER HIT A HOME DEPOT?? How many people now have meta-vacuum cleaners? Meta-dishwashers?? Meta-can openers??

Oh God. No. Not this.

No. You do not lie and manipulate your kids to protect them. You do not do that. Love is no justification.

Don't Barry don't. Stop stop.

I can't watch this. FUCK YOU.

FOR GOD'S SAKE SHE'S CRYING AND SHAKING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO COMFORT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL SAFE NOT STAND ON YOUR PILE OF BULLSHIT WITHOUT GIVING A FLYING FUCK.

No, cry all you want. I have no sympathy for either one of you callous asshats. You fucking destroyed that girl. Fuck Joe West for having raised you to think this way.

Yeah no Joe West is not who you want to go to in these matters, Nora.

I don't even care about Cicada anymore.

I should have known this show would never get any less gross.

Look, I was fully prepared to be sympathetic to Iris, traumatized, alone and single mother to a meta-child in a dangerous world to have made some bad decisions. And I do empathize. But I wasn't prepared for present-day Barry and Iris to justify and rationalize that shit. I thought they were going to say "That was a bad thing your Mom did. I'm sure she thought she was protecting you but she may have lost sight of how much it hurts to have your choices taken away from you. But I'm not that woman, Nora. I know I could never bear to see you hurting like this. I can still make better choices. Please give me a chance?"

Not "No I am your Mom and everything I do is right and good because I love you, I'm sorry if you feel hurt about it but them's the facts."

They did this when Barry and Joe lied to Iris all through S1, when Joe lied to Iris about her mother. This show is still all about apologia for lying and manipulation because LOVE AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND TO PROTECT YOU BY DISRESPECTING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU AND TAKING AWAY YOUR AGENCY.

Parental love is not a justification. Most abuse takes place at the hands of parents who really believe they're doing it for their children's protection. Please never say "your parents have every right to hurt you to protect you because they love you". Do you even care at all.

I'm not okay. Gonna take a break from fandom for a while. Can't deal with people taking Iris's side to protect their Westallen feels. Fuck both of them.

I'm posting this but please don't engage me to argue about it. Massively triggered.

#this started out so good #why did they do this #fuck westallen #my heart is breaking for nora #fuck this whole damn show #the flash #5x4 #liveblog

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Oh fuck i cant stand this

Ive already almost used up my damn mobile data again and i only bought it yesterday. Fuck i want to go home. You guys are like the only comfort i have here and i dunno what im gonna do when i cant message you again

Fuckin hell stupid shit day! I was supposed to go to a therapy class thing today but the stupid bus went past where my abusive father lives and i had a MASSIVE FREAKOUT and had to go home and then ofcourse to go home you have to go back on the stupid same bus!! I fuckib failed and wasted the doctor's time and he had to grab me to stop me from running off the bus crying and back to fuckin hell dad's house because im shit and i deserve everything he ever did to me

AND THEN fuckin same doctor continues the relentless constant tide of everyone misgendering me and making crass transphobic jokes

"You see you've gotta understand the other opinion" he says, as if trans people werent fuckin raised SURROUNDED by cis people's predjudiced opinion of us and taught it was fact. As if it didnt take me SO MUCH WORK to even become confident enough to stand up for myself! I've gotta see the 'other opinion' that "yknow well families and children use public bathrooms and theyre scared trans people will molest their children so its understandable they want to kick you out or even act violent to you". Yknow the OTHER OPINION that MY OPINION DOESNT MATTER and also MY ENTIRE EXISTANCE IS A CRIME but i'm the one being predjudiced for not accepting that OPINION, right?! Im here trying to tell him that no that isnt rational because there have been LITERALLY NO RECORDED CASES of trans people molesting children in public bathrooms, or even "evil men faking being trans" to do the same thing. There's been more cases of actual cis men breaking into women's bathrooms to drag women out for merely LOOKING trans. More cis women have been harassed because of anti trans laws than they ever did before! But hey "respect that other opinion", right? And also "at least its not as bad as russia" and "but gay pride is everywhere now, that one footballer had rainbow shoelaces." Hey wow i never noticed that not only was homophobia totally over but also transphobia was remotely related to that! Wow! I seriously had to bring out the fuckin 1600s historical investigation on pre-british olde englishe that showed the existance of a gender neutral pronoun before the word "he" ever existed, and the existance of transgender pride and pronoun discussions in the 1800s before the word transgender was even popularized. I cant believe i fuckin had to do a 'show your sources that queer people existed before the internet' IN REAL LIFE. WITH A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I can point at the damn NHS website but nooooo!

Oh and yknow what got me the most? YKNOW WHAT GOT ME THE MOST?? "We have sick people here, you cant expect them to remember stuff like that. Dont ruin their recovery by bringing up stuff like that." Like..fuckin..IM A FUCKIN PATIENT TOO. I wasnt even asking the other patients to stop hurting me i was asking you the staff to maybe consider it! And seriously you want me to be so super ultra perpetually prepared and perpetually rational and able to keep my existance secret and out of every conversation yet theyre too ill to learn about lgbt people existing? Just a sentence would be too painful? And me living every day being misgendered doesnt impact my ability to recover at all, eh? Fuckin shitting fuck hell.

And i hate it i HATE IT because he's being nice so i'll be the bad guy if i complain. Likehe fuckin..doesnt even know he's being rude and doesnt want to consider the idea. He says 'i dont like your tone' if i suggest the concept and FUCK in that moment i was so fuckin scared he was gonna hit me like my dad did. Or at tge very least kick me out of the hospital if i dont cooperate with him. He just fuckin..thinks he's perfectly unbiased and accepts everyone and "oh but i like to make fun of everyone equally". And i even fuckin raised the subject that people who say that often only make fun of minorities and never themselves, the majority, or major power structures. And he's just like 'yeah yeh i hate people like that'. Whoosh. Rigjt over the head. God i wasnt even TRYING to be passive aggressive i was trying tk outright tell him why what he said was upsetting me but NOPE. Trying to explain how its just so hard and tiring to have to verrrrrry patientlyyyyy explain yourself to EVERYONE EVERY DAY CONSTANTLY while they sling loads of rude words at you and it should be just allowed because they 'dont know better'. Like you ask me to educate you but at the same time im rude if i actually tell you?? And god i also tried to explain how the fuckin bathroom violence thing isnt an example of 'educating another opinion' AGAIN by saying like... If someone just asked me to explain being transgender i would. If someone just said they were uncomfortable i would leave. That's 'another opinion'. Reacting with slurs and violence to a trans person existing and not doing anything to you is not 'another opinion' and its not someone who 'just didnt know'. He was seriously trying to argue that it WASNT BIGOTED it was just someone rationally being afraid for their children because of a danger that doesnt exist, and rationally reacting with extreme violence rather than doing anything else. Rationally. RATIONALLY. oh just MISTAKENLY committing a hate crime! Cos they just didnt know trans people exist! Not cos they hate us! Oh no! Yeah sure we totally have a fucking DUTY to educate these POOR UNKNOWING PEOPLE while theyre attacking us, and its our damn fault if we didnt...

And just fucking FUCK i hate how someone can say all that stuff and still be "nice" and still not hate me personally? Like its so messed up?? He's not anti trans or anything he just has so much more damn sympathy for cis people than trans people, and puts all the onus on us to somehow prevent our own murders. And he thinks that "i dont have a problem with trans people" means doing LITERALLY NOTHING to change your behaviour to make trans people feel accepted. They should just magically know that your jokes are jokes when theyre surrounded by so many people saying it honestly, in CONSTANT FEAR OF THAT EXACT THING LEADING TO VIOLENCE. And like in order to be "a guy who has no problem with trans people" he has to do nothing, while in order for me to be not bigoted against HIM it means i have to never get offended by his jokes and also never talk about myself and also constantly educate him about things because he doesnt want to learn, even though he works in a hospital thats supposed to have an anti discrimination policy. Like fuckin just NOT HURTING LGBT PEOPLE doesnt make you discrimination free, shit like telling me to misgender myself because my pronouns would confuse the other patients is kinda fuckin fucked up. Also "that's a question for later" is all i CONSTANTLY get when it comes to talking about legal name changes or therapy or even just talking to an lgbt support group. I have to wait until i stop being depressed because oh no im talking about too many mental illnesses at once. Its been seven years and i havent fuckin stopped being depressed, bitch! Ever consider a fuckin symptom of gender dysphoria is a big ol fat depression!!! And just gahhhhh he was so fuckin baffled and angry that i would dare to get emotional about the subject?? Like he just saw DEBATING WHETHER TRANS PEOPLE ARE REAL and WHETHER PEOPLE WHO MURDER THEM FOR USING THE BATHROOM ARE JUSTIFIED as a perfectly normal casual discussion that a Non Transphobic Man could have with his transgender friend. Why oh why would i cry about this casual hypothetical discussion? Hey its not like it fuckin affects me directly! "Well its never happened to you right?" A Ha Ha Ha Ha. Also fuckin "so which bathroom do you use?" and "well you're not really transgender if youre not getting the surgery-oh wait you do want the surgery? How does that work then?" I swear i could just see the gears turning in his head and he was about to say "do you want both down there". Gahhhhhh *cringes myself into a tiny tumbleweed and blows away*

Also the entire time he kept calling being trans a sexuality and also asexuality. "No youre not trans youre asexual right?" Yeah sure ive just been saying im trans and saying im not a girl and wearing a chest binder and talking this entire conversation about my experiences as a trans person in public bathrooms just to pull an elaborate prank on you. And like i know what he meant is that he thought the word for nonbinary was asexual (has asexuality REALLY made so little progress towards getting into the sex ed curriculum in the entire 25 years of my life?) But like seriously he was like "youre not really trans if youre nonbinary". And then fuck dude i dont wanna explain how surgery works to you!! And especially not also my entirely unrelated sexuality that has entirely different equally upsetting predjudices!

Ans gahhhh fuck i just got no sympathy for crying and he acted as if it was just some wildly unexpected occurance he never could have predicted. And i hate it cos he's nice to me whenever the subject is about anything else. I cant get any symoathey from ANYONE because he's A NICE GUY and why dont i just understaaaaaand other opinionnnnnns

I wanted to fuckin quit this whole thing on the spot and go home. Only reason i cant is because my support worker is off work until thursday auauauaughhh

Fuck at least one positive i guess is that ive made progress in the social anxiety or at least gotten better at giving the impression im making progress. Cos i want to LEAVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. And also fuck all my other worries seem less suicide-inducing when im actually getting the closest ive ever been to killing myself on a daily basis because of a stupid other thing that i never could have predicted. Go here for one form of self hate, come home with another! Yayyyyy

And fuck i havent even made a single bit of progress on drawing or writing anything and i cant practise making ganes cos my laptop cant run rpgmaker and i havent even started reading my giant pile of books cos they fuckin LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW EVERY SINGLE HOUR TO MAKE SURE YOU AINT KILLED YOURSELF. i have no fuckin pribacy and its making me wanna kill myself even more!! I just live constantly on edge looking at the fuckin door window and i cant even do anything to distract myself because im too scared of them looking at me!! Or barging in at no notice to tell me i have to do some big stressful thing RIGHT NOW because i dont even get advance notice of anything aaaa! And fuck i dont have anywhere to go to even calm down from a panic attack cos i have no privacy so at least im getting over being scared of going outside cos outside is the only place i can go to cry. Fuckin strangers in the crowd at least wont cause shit if they see me.

Fuck i want to go home. Fuck i wish i had enough money to keep buying mobile internet. Its like fuckin 750mb a day to run tumblr but its all ive got to talk to any person who doesnt hate me or patronize me or think im faking a bunch of shit or whatever the fuck. And im not even any fun to be around when im like this so im probably just ruining your day too. And im probably gonna vanish again soon and then just go back to crying alone and getting worse and probably never being able to leave

I knew it was gonna be stressdul but i didnt predict any of this.. I just wanna fuckin die. I wanted to jump out the car and go to my old dad's house and have him pull open the door and slap me around a bit. Like call me a fucking dyke, call me a sick retard, be honest about your feelings! I'd fuckin take being abused over this "oh youre the bad one for being mad because i had goooood intentions" reverse psychology bigotry from hell. Either these people are evil geniuses or theyre even more stupid like me. Fuckin shit dad please manifest in my room and slap me, killing me instantly. I feel like being scared of you would at least be a faster emotion than this nebulous sensation of confusing unease and dysphoria 24/7 for 6 fuckin months. One week done, haha! Hahahabahahahahahahahahahahahahshahahahahahshshshahshahahahhahahaaaa

#suicide mention #im sorry #all their no privacy shit doesnt even work cos i was just left alone all night when i wanted to kill myself #and took then three days to notice the wound on my arm #didnt cut my veins or anything dangerous i just couldnt stop scratching #at my skin for an hour and now there's a bit of a mess there #but its scabbed over so its fine #i drew all over the other arm to keep from hurting myself again #i thought i was okay after that nice experience at the build a bear workshop but im even #worse today cos now i k ow the staff are just fuckin fine with transphobia and im gonna just have to #shut my mouth i guess #fuck just look forward to the art classes whenever i finally get to do them #but i was looking forward to the class today and then i couldnt do it cos i got all scared of dad #fuckkkkkkk

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britishneonjello · 5 years

Text

Okay if any of y’all see a post on your dash about women not being recovery and therapy centers for men fuckin smash the mother fucking reblog button because OF COURSE I want the best for people and OF COURSE I want to support other people and OF COURSE I want to do what I can to help people I care about when they are in need but FUCK. ME. IF I HAVENT HAD. ENOUGH. FUCKING. BULLSHIT. From men in my life in romantic and non romantic roles looking to me to be their saving grace and angel with all the answers. FUCK. I have had EVERY ANGLE OF THIS THROWN AT ME AND IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT AND SICK TO MY STOMACH.

I got out of a three-year-long relationship with a man who was incredibly kind and a wonderful person, but who struggled with depression and never cleaned up after himself or ever learned how to cook or ever had the drive to learn until after I broke up with him. I can’t blame him for most of it, but I gained over 20 pounds while I was dating him because he lived such a sentient life, and he had no hobbies or aspirations of his own. Again, he was such a kind man, but I had to clean and cook for him like a mother, and baby him through his mental illness and many other things. I hope the best for him but I felt like a weight lifted off my chest when we went our own ways. So that was a nice one.

Then I had a relationship with a man who I thought was courageous, adventurous, and charming. Turns out he had EVEN MORE BAGGAGE TO UNPACK than the last one, with an abusive childhood and everything else. Again, I can’t blame him for any of it, but he was incredibly manipulative and cruel, and all he did was TAKE TAKE TAKE my money, my time, and my attention. Again, I felt like a mother kissing boo-boos and rocking a baby to sleep, and this one was horrible enough to take it further and make me feel like all of his problems were always my fault. So that was the worst one.

And now, I meet this guy who I think is nice and funny. Nothing more, nothing less. Not interested in anything romantic, even, just acquaintances that have some things in common. Well I figure out instantly that he’s incredibly clingy, and wayyyyy too brash and overboard with flirting and everything. And I don’t think I had the confidence before, but after the horrible guy, I just tell him straight: look, you’re a cool person, but I WILL NOT FUCK YOU. And he was pretty chill about it, but he literally unloads ALL HIS BAGGAGE onto me about self harm, hospitalization, everything. And at this point I said to him: “dude, I don’t even fucking KNOW YOU. You should know you are cared about, and you can have support, but I can’t help you, nor do I want to sit here and coddle you and nurse you back to health. Get professional help. Good luck.” And I don’t plan on speaking to him again. So he was the breaking point.

I don’t fucking know if it’s simply the fact that men are STARVED for intimacy and emotional support in their lives and have been taught that they can only find that from women in romantic relationships in their lives, but FUCK EVERYTHING if I don’t want it all to end, RIGHT FUCKING NOW. FOR ALL OF US, MEN AND WOMEN. Thinking about caring about another person now gives me a sick feeling to my stomach that will hopefully go away with time. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to feel like I have to leave people in vulnerable states, or refuse people or cut people off. But I am a healthy, happy woman who knows how to cook for herself, clean for herself, get great grades, make friends, get involved with activities and organizations she enjoys, go to the gym frequently, talk about my emotions in a healthy way, and keep myself afloat in this crazy world. I am so fucking tired and sick of trying to pull people onto my life boat only to see it tip over and almost drag me under the waves with whoever else it is. I want to love someone, really I do. I am a hopeless romantic. But I want to love someone who I DONT HAVE TO CONSTANTLY SUPPORT with all my time and effort or has to constantly support me in an unhealthy way.

New Years Resolution: no fucking romantic relationships. ALL. YEAR. Fuck that bullshit. Maybe later in life I can come back around to all that. Someday, I just want to fall in love with someone who HAS THEIR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER, is that too much to ask???

#keepthejellofloating #love #heartbreak #clingy #relationships #boyfriends #men #feminism #resolutions #new years #support #rant #personal #fuck this bullshit

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hana-haki · 6 years

Text

the8 as a boyfriend // svt ❀

number 3/13 of the svt boyfriend series

we all know how minghao can be

either cutehao or thughao

probably cutehao when asking you out for the first time

was super shy

both of you had a simple little date at mcdonalds

it was chill

nothing special

but you were hooked onto this boy

like it was a very simple date but there was something about him that pulled you in

maybe it was the way he blushed ever so slightly before asking you if he could hold your hand

maybe it was the feeling of his long fingers entangling themselves with your own fingers

maybe it was the way he opened the door for you and let you order first

or maybe it was his laugh?

well anyways

he’s the kind of boyfriend that makes fun of you, and you make fun of him

sometimes one of you go a step too far and it’s all cuddles after that

he’s the small spoon

soz i dont make the rules

he loves showing off to you

“hey baby”

“what”

“look” *does a backflip*

one time a guy on instagram sent you a pickup line

the next half hour was hilarious

minghao brought out his nunchucks

“mINGHAO”

“I’LL BREAK HIS ARMS. I’LL TAKE OUT MY STICK AND REMOVE HIS NUTS”

“MINGHAO NO”

he’s really caring

he taught you basic combat

even if you already knew he’d teach you something extra

he’d want to make sure you’re able to protect yourself when he cant

teaches you all the target points

one time you came back home scared because someone was following you

you were smart enough to have your keys in between your fingers and an emergency phone number on standby

as you heard the person approaching you whipped around and the person turned in the other direction

you practically ran to your apartment

“baby? are you okay?”

“someone was following me”

he wrapped you in a hug and made sure you had calmed down first

“did you manage to see their face?”

he brought you to make a police report

held your hand the whole way

hmm okay so one day he decided to bring you to a skateboard place thingy

you thought he just wanted to show off

boi u were wrong

“y/n join me”

“wtf how i dont own a skateboard”

“i know”

and he proceeds to share a skateboard with you

you awkwardly step in between the spaces of his feet

and he holds you close

his hands wrapped around your whole torso to make sure you dont fall

there’s no need for his hands tho

youre practically squishing him

“minghao are you insane?”

“trust me”

AND HE STARTS TO MOVE

of course you start to yell and he lets out that adorable giggle of his

“X U M I N G H A O STOP STOP STOP SOTP”

but you soon get used to it

and you start to enjoy it!

everyone around the ramp starts to “awww”

a bunch of tough looking guys start to aww

by the time the skateboard slows down to a still your hands are looped gently around his neck and youre nuzzled into his chest

sigh what a perfect guy

he stays around your place some nights when he can

lets you wear his hoodies

encourages you

one time you tried to make him dinner and you burned the chicken

he roasted the shit out of you

“ahhh baby you can’t even make chicken”

“do you think it went to heaven”

“sigh roasted chicken more like roasted y/n”

he was mean to you so he ordered pizza behind your back when you were sulking

you gave him the silent treatment for half an hour

just to make him whine

“ah, im sorry! i didn’t mean it! i’ll eat the chicken if it makes you smile!” he’d whine.

you had to crack there, because if you didn’t he could have died from eating your disastrous cooking.

“nah, it’s fine. i wasnt made for the kitchen anyways.” you said sadly as you pouted a little.

“iM SORRY” he exclaimed and you laughed

“i should act sad more huh”

hmm this boy knows how to act when youre down

knows when to leave you alone and knows when to stay with you

he’s good with insecurities

don’t wanna go swimming because you’re unhappy with your scars/stretch marks/nonexistent thigh gap/hairy legs etc etc? he won’t push you

he’d smile slightly and offer to bring you skateboarding because he knew you felt safe in his arms

or “have i ever told you how quick i’d be able to beat your ass at street fighter?”

without making a big deal, he manages to help you

if you’re out with the boys and you don’t feel like eating

he’ll just hold your hand tighter and offer you another dish

maybe stops for a while but has a talk with you back home

you’re very comfortable with him and vice versa

so he’s really open with you

about his emotions and stuff

with everything tbh

hmm ok we all know how aesthetically pleasing xu minghao is

he has a private account on instagram

with loads of pictures of you, taken by you, and of the two of you

they’re all really aesthetic (ofc)

he’s the kind of boyfriend that really listens to you and notices things.

you mentioned a cool movie three weeks ago? yeah he’s bringing you to see it today.

you stared at that really cool sweater the other day? guess what’s in your closet.

he’s just a really nice boyfriend

not because he buys you shit

but he shows how much he loves you through actions, not words

he’s a pretty subtle guy, if you havent noticed already

he’s sweet

hmm

you guys are the aesthetic couple that roasts everyone

yea that fits it

the other boys always tease him for being so soft about you but scary around everyone else

282 notes · View notes

obannthepunished · 6 years

Text

This weeks notes Mostly transcription this week i think, i tried my best for nott’s scene. as usual ignore the asterisks because theyre just notes to myself.

peace

Molly is Nervous (tm) abiut sticking around, or going to the gentleman

theres a fight in the evening nip, beau is fucking excited its thedd (halfling from sewers) and lewis (one of the ones that had run from the research facility)

N: "I got three gold on Thedd" M: Seems a bit late for a wager at this point N: Just you and me! M:.... fair. I'm in.

Thedd wins by standing on lewis' throat til he passes out holy shit M: (drops coins into Nott's hand) N, smug: Thank you :)

oh now Nott and Beau are fighting jesus christ. C: "I cast Haste on Beauregard." Laura: YOU PIECE OF SHIT **

J: Inflict Wounds (17 dmg) ((Fjord, changing his voice: "I GOT 5 GOLD ON THE HORNY ONE)) B: WHAT THE FUCK JESTER, Stunning Strike, (7dmg, jes fails con save (6), she is stunned, extra attack from haste, 6dmg) J: (is stunned for this round, until the end of beaus turn) B: Beaus the shit outta her ( 12dmg, 6dmg) ((MOLLY blinds her)) B: still goin, but misses 2 of em, hits on the third (12dmg) J: (goes down)

caleb: goes for the low five, and Beau just.... ignores him unintentionally bless.

Frumpkin is sent to lick the blood off of jesters face, Beau cleans her up <33

They are called to the gentleman's side

offered a forward of 500gp and a pot of 4500g to travel to Shady Creek Run, the criminals town, and free and bring back Ophelia... something, who corresponds often with the gentleman

the tldr of the second (250 adv, 1750 pot) is that the swamps are dangerous for the gentlemans safehouse which has gone dark.

theyre promised resources for missions from the gentleman

Jester: "IS HE MOIST"(re the gentleman)

they take on both, starting with the swamps. The Gentleman advises they travel the 70 miles above ground.

Fjord is so fuckin smooth talky wtf. they get greater heling potion(s)?? + cure disease? Caleb's gettin some ink + paper, but its not good for spells 8(

Nott keeps making water puns. im counting 4. and a hankie.

Jester wand of smiles Kutha again, poor kutha 8(

Caleb + beau ( + assumedly nott) go to pumat's

have they paid their inn tab??

Cay buys incense for rituals, probably find familiar lbh. he also gets his magical ink+parchment.

Beau is interested in the bracers of defence. Theyre like 1200gp tho arent they??? B: how much PS: 1200 gold B:HOLY SHIT PUMAT. [snip] B: HOLY SHIT PUMAT(S).

C: (tells beau he cast haste) B: YOU SLIP SOMETHIN IN MY DRINK CALEB??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they have 6 horses, 2 pulling, 6 solo. Jes is driving thr cart.

Caleb: (brings up the feywild) Jester: oh the traveller has told me about that!!

Frumpkin is (one of) the first cats yasha has seen 8'O shes fuckin loving it **

lots of fucking soldiers heading to war. hundreds, if not thousands.

night falls as they reach the origin of the. road. they cant find a campground because tal rolled SHIT even with advantage.

Jester + Fjord take first watch. (13. Nothing) Yasha + Beau on second watch. (14. Also Nothing.) B: We should huddle together for warmth??? Y: Fr- Frumpkin is keeping me. very warm. are you cold??? do you want my, my cloak? B: No, no my, my (jacket??? cant remember what she said) is fine, its htin, but its warm Then they talk about Yasha ands this is the furthest shes ever been. Y: "i like this stuff. Grass, and, things. you know." B: You appreciate grass?

B: What was your favourite part of xorhas? Y: I... dont know if i HAD a favourite part

this was the CUTEST shit

third watch is Nott + Molly (10, nothing happens) taliesin trying a jester voice makes me the heart eyes emoji

goblins canonically steal children what THE FUCK. And EAT them. But Nott, apparently, has not eaten a child. "My clan, we STOLE from people. money and clothing and things. And when things got tough, we'd steal the people too." Goblins dont do family. "I do not have an urge to kill and eat children" "i have cravings for... rats... cats-" (Caleb snaps) Frumpkin goes back to the feywild Yasha: =(

taliesin taking watch after rolling shit cmon. he gets 16. Noon, broken cloud cover, a tiny distant curl of smoke. oh not again. its a mile away tho so like

the smoke is coming from a small shack.

"For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird." He doesn't though but its the sentiment.

Yasha gets shoulder frumpkin back!

The shack door opens to "an elderly fullblood orc" with hair and beard and all that shit.

for 1 (one) gp a month, you TOO can bother a whole old man orc. Jesus christ he had a battleaxe. puts it down, invites yasha and molly in. THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY Molly buys hide armor + 2lb of meat for 16gp. M: Perception check 10. Matt: "Okay." There is sOMETHING SUS about this.

and theyre off again, i am glad for this. i do not like elderly orc man.

yasha and molly double up on that goof "we totally killed him, three times." its very good

M + Y: What kind of meat is this? (fuck their rolls) its meat! its good meat!

M+Y take first watch, its 12. Nothing happens. Yasha collects some flowers to press awww. N+C Second watch, they roll w advantage lmao. 22. something is going to happen. "you hear the snapping of a twig. you see a shifting of shadow. a few things" Cay casts mage armor

Two arrows for Caleb. con saving throw. probably poison. 10. its poison. he is poisoned. fucks frickin sake. is it gnolls?? is it goblins??? hyenas??? furred barking things. wolves.

two ogres, a cluster of wolves, and goblin-like creatures

initiative order:

Beau: Nat20, 24 Goblins Caleb: 18 Fjord, Molly: 16 Ogres Nott: 15 Yasha, Jester: 6 Wolves

B: Jester, puppies!!

Yasha and Jester shrug off poison of those that hit them.

Caleb casts slow on one ogre. unrelated liam is so good???

oh yeah eldritch blast gets two beams of eldritch blast at lv3

Molly radiants once scimitar and cuts RIGHT through one of em. misses the second.

Caleb hit with a javelin, 4-5 inches into his stomach, holding itself upright. Caleb keeps the spell going.

Nott pretends shes one of them and aims for Caleb, hits the book instead. and nails it.

Jester (traumatised): CALEB!!! cure wounds 2nd level. but he is pretty fucked so its ok. he heals to full its ok its ok. Jester cares so much

Yasha pulls necrotic shroud! which as someone who cant watch TM, this is a reveal for me! :D

J: (to cale) Youre alive! How did- C: (monotonous) haha! funny, joke.

Fjord explodes a goblin Molly cuts one in half, vertically

Molly curses the ogre attacking beau

Nott shoots the ogre, and then the goblin next to her... but misses and is fucked

Yash gets the hdywtdt on one of the ogres

Beau @ necrotic shroud!yasha: you look... dope. You look FUCKIN HOT LETS GO.

cay has magic missile!

fjord gets the second hdywtdt w eldritch blast.

cay n molly go to retrieve stolen goods from goblin but apparently just Molly

Yasha necrotic shrouds when shes startled awake. F: Can you fly? Y: ...no J: Have you tried? Y:... yeah.

Yasha n Caleb have a conversation in celestial C: No really, are you an angel? Y: of sorts, i guess [snip] C: You will have to explain this now, or later. do you want to explain this now, or later? Y: i- ill explain it, just, maybe we should clean up first!

i have no idea whats going on but i heard marisha say "bad dragon" and im gonna die

J: Nott, are you okay? Was it weird to fight other goblins? N: it was... rewarding. I'm only sad that... one got away. B: Nott, do you share the same hatred in yourself? [snip] N: Do... do I hate myself? No. I'm... I'm cool. F: You seem excited to hurt your own kind. N: I know, I'm a goblin, for as long as I've been alive I haven't felt comfortable in, in there. I havent felt comfortable in my skin. It feels like I shouldnt be, i dont fit in with them. I feel, this feels WRONG, like I should be in a different body. The way they act, the way they are, it's not ME. They do horrible things to people, and they seem fine with it. I never felt the same with them. It's not that I don't like myself or anything, I think I'm okay, I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands, or my feet. They just feel wrong. I just want to be... different. C: Was there anyone you were close to? N: Not in my clan, but there was... someone. They tried me on different jobs but I was not a soldier, i was not a good cook, not good at sweing, or building, they stuck me with the torturer. I was the torturers assistant. there was a halfling village not far away and they captured someone from the village, they wanted me to kill him, but instead, I was kind to him. And he started talking, and my... fellow gobbies didn't like that, but they allowed it, because i was getting valuable information. [about halflings resources] I became friends with him. He was nice. J: What happened to him? N: I hope he got away J: Did you leave before him? N: We left together [snip J: Did you love him? N: .... I don't know. The halfling taught her how to speak in halfling, taught her about alchemy, when he has taught her everything, the goblins said to kill him. And she didnt want to. so she got REAL drunk, and shot another goblin in the ass. N: I hope he got away. We ran off in separate directions. I've been running ever since.

+1 to the quest log, find Nott's friend.

Beaus trying to be nice i love her.

C: I do not care. I know who you are now. (<333)

B: I think we're all a little bit of island of misfits.

F: You showed a lot of bravery tonight B: Nott, The brave. J: Maybe there is a comma.

Y: Nott, I'm sorry we made fun of you eating children N: I HAVE NOT EATEN CHILDREN

B: What got you locked up with this guy? (Caleb) N: Being me. Stealing food? C: You told me it was cherry wine. N: OKAY IT WAS BOOZE.

it is now raining.

M: Well, I'm sleeping underneath the cart! if anyone wants to join me... J: We wont all fit! M: We'll snuggle. *

Molly + Jester are under the cart.

"i tasted a baby once. ONCE. they were handing around a bowl, I didn't know-" -N Liam takes Sam's flask and takes a swig so i assume caleb does the same in canon C: "Who am I to judge?"

#Critical role #Critical role spoilers #CR Spoilers #Critical role notes

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gaymafia · 6 years

Note

I’m legitimately curious why people didn’t like the last Jedi? I saw it and thought it was okay? Is there something I missed or? Like it wasn’t great but it was passable?

ok so i wasnt gonna do this here bc nobody fucking asked but u asked so thank u but also strap in ur ready for a while ride

TLJ spoilers, obviously. also my issues are going to be numbered in no particular order bc my thoughts on this movie are so fucking scrambled but here we go

1. Kyle Ron. First of all fuck Ryeanne for making me see so many goddamn closeups of Adam Driver’s ugly ass face. I did not need to see all that he is so goddamn ugly especially that fucking shirtless scene where he looks like a block of pasty ass pale wood.

But for real, Kylo Ren. I don’t actually take issue with his existence, because Kyle really does excellently represent rich ass white boys who have everything handed to them but throw a hissy fit when they face the slightest adversity an throw tantrums all the time. It’s nice to see a villain that represents most people real-life nightmares instead of like, a Sexy Temptress or Old Evil Man or whatever. That being said, kyle is not given the villain’s treatment in this movie. if you cut out all the scenes where ryan is not actively sucking adam driver’s dick and jizzing all over himself over kyle’s angsty white boy angst, the movie has virtually no real plot (”oh no we are in space with no fuel, nobody is going to do anything except get mad at each other, miscommunicate, and deliberately make all the characters of color worthless while separating Finn and Poe bc fuck the gays”). So much of the movie is spent not just establishing how kyle became kyle (which is good! backstory for villains is good!), but trying to get us to like, sympathize with him? which is the shitty part. I dont care that Luke “”””tried to kill”’’’ (he didn’t) kyle. kyle had turned to the dark side before luke’s mistake. kyle had a million and one chances to change his mind from the start of TFA to the end of TLJ, and he never did. Kyle is an evil guy. We need one of those. He’s a great evil guy bc he’s got so many shitty qualities. But ryin doesnt want us to hate kyle, even tho hes the villain. why the fuck doesnt reean want us to hate kyle? bc rayan is also a shitty little man who thinks giving ur white boy a sob story makes him a sympathetic villain and sidelining ur characters of color will help.

also again the fucking shirtless scene what the shit man that was so gross

2. Will be broken down into A, B, C, etc. bc TLJ treats its characters of color like SHIT.

2A. Finn. Finn gets put in a coma bc why would anyone want to write anything interesting for john boyega its not like hes the MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN and the MOST TALENTED ACTOR who is being sidelined bc ryun hates black people. Yeah Finn is totally into Rey and he wants to save her and is willing to desert the rebellion for her. that happened in the first movie but why give your characters real arcs when you can recycle old ones to jerk off to kyle ron. the rose thing happens, shes like “we can disable the tracking” and like TWO SECONDS after he was dead set on desertion he’s totally down to risk his life for the rebellion at rey’s expense? that sure is a quick 180 with no real reason why and no writing to explain it! then there was the whole “separate finn and poe” thing ryain pulled for the shits and giggles.

2B. Rose. I was pretty chill with Rose, she had a dope backstory, her sister was badass, and I liked that they made that connection off the bat. I’m not mad about anything rayn did with her character but i genuinely believe thats only because i havent thought about it enough yet. give me a week and i’ll figure out how rain fucked it up. open to suggestions.

2C. Poe. Full offense but was I supposed to be mad at Poe for coming up with a plan when that bitch Holdo was like “I’m not gonna tell you my plan sit tight and be convinced we are all going to die :)” i legitimately did not understand how I was supposed to be mad at poe for doing what he thought was best for the rebellion after he asked holdo what the plan was and she was deliberately obstinate and refused to even be like “dont worry i have a plan” she was just like. so dumb. Also poe got thrown around a lot and i am A Little Suspicious of how much physical violence he experienced compared to many other characters.

2D. You guessed what was next! The slaps! Super awesome how the two men of color were slapped by white people!!!! So deep!!!!!!! For real tho uh the second time i saw this movie someone in the audience laughed when poe got slapped by space hitler hux and uh??? not funny. not funny or cute or clever to use the guy you built your entire nazi imagery on to slap the one black man on your cast. i dont care if it was supposed to make us “hate hux” or whatever more. i already hated hux reyn. you could have used that screentime in your 3 fucking hour long movie for something valuable, like giving finn a character arc, or literally anything else besides that goddamn slap. i was livid watching that.

and then with leia and poe? i get that part of the conflict was internal in the resistance and one of the major themes was how failure is the best teacher and all that but like? maybe stop physically assaulting all your characters of color? maybe uhhhh at least think about that first??

2E. like i mentioned before one of the obvious themes was how failure is the best teacher so naturally all the major characters had to fail at something, and then learn from their mistake to be better next time. with luke it was fucking up with kyle, with rey it was being naive enough to think kyle could turn, with poe it was the dreadnaught thing, finn was left out of this because raan dooesn give a shit abt finn bc hes a racist bastard, etc. but it was incredibly transparent how all of the white characters’ mistakes meant either personal losses or something small scale with one person, while the mistakes of the characters of color (poe/finn/rose) were all ones that cost the rebellion the vast majority of their forces. rey got out of her fight with kyle and snoke unscathed. luke got a lot of guilt and character development. What did finn poe and rose get? the deaths of like 99% of the resistance on their shoulders. A little too coincidental that even though rey LITERALLY GAVE HERSELF OVER TO SNOKE she was totally fine a-ok no real scars, finn and poe and rose doing their best to save the rebellion while admiral holdo refuses to tell them anything costs the resistance so fucking much. rey does the DUMBEST FUCKING THING with no real consequences and finn and poe and rose try their best and are punished severely for it.

2F. Really convenient how everything finn, poe, and rose did ended up being useless and just cost the rebellion lives, whereas at least rey’s mishap got snoke killed and taught her a lesson. reeeeaaaalllllyyyyyy convenient how finn, poe, and rose’s plan was a huge waste of time. it would have been much better for us to see an actual plot line with them that contributed to the story and their characterizations instead of “send them on a goose chase, make it pointless in the end, physically brutalize them along the way.

3. R*yl* bullSHIT: ryyn had a really fun time with a lot of very rape-y scenes in this movie. the whole force-connection thing with kyle and rey was soooooo uncalled for, it reeked of non-con fantasies, catered to the r*yl*s like nothing ever before, and was so goddamn gross. the obvious invasion of privacy and lack of consent was nasty, using it as a shitty device to make rey “come around” on kyle was NASTY and that whole thing was nasty. i know im not articulating this well but there was so much about that whole thing that bothered me. i just know reyhan was so fucking into it, inserting kyle into rey’s life, forcing her to completely drop all of her characterization in the first movie to suddenly thing kyle can be good, acting as if rey hasnt seen all the shit and known what hes done. the whole thing was gross and a really obvious example of why men shouldn’t be allowed to direct movies.

4. killing snoke was a dumbass fucking mistake. kyle is a tantrum-throwing temper-losing toddler. snoke was evil and mysterious and shit idk. we knew he was powerful as fuck, he looked like a testicle which is a great villain imo, he was the darth sidious and they killed him off while kyle is still in like. ep2!Anakin levels of angst. i get that kyle is already powerful or whatever but like. hes not cold and calculated the way snoke was. kyle is a good villain, but a weak main baddie bc hes dumb as fuck. he let the rebellion get away bc he was pissed at luke. that was dumb as fuck. kyle is ruined by his emotions, and snoke was a scarier main baddie bc he wasnt so fucking dumb lol

5. it was so fucking long. there were so many scenes that could have been cut or shortened. why did we need to see luke milking the tiddy of that weird alien cow thing. why did we need to see kyle ron shirtless. why did we need so many goddamn shots of the fucking porgs.

6. ya the porgs are cute or whatever but like. that whole “look at how sad the cute big-eyes porg is when chewie is eating his friend” thing was so dumb. i dunno why but i hated that the most. that was the worst thing the porgs did. they were cute but like chill disney u know they like ran algorithm after algorithm to make that porg the cutest it could be with science or some bullshit and like? thats dumb.

7. i get that the humor in star wars movies is shifting but i felt like there was too much of it and it was dumb. a lot of the riffs werent funny and there were too many of them for a star wars film. star wars usually doesnt take itself too seriously, but this one was a little too much for me.

8. there were too many plot twists for shock value. the story went on too long. it should have ended earlier but it didnt. i dont know why ryenn decided to have like 6 different climaxes but it was too much. should have let there be one climax buddy. thats it.

9. holdo. besides holdo being the white feminist icon why didnt she just fucking tell poe the plan. why. why was so deliberately obstinate when it was doing no good. like yeah of course poe sent out a crew to try to save the rebellion all u told him to shut up and let you handle it! obvously what she did in the end was badass or whatever but like uh hun next time dont be a piece of shit and then get mad when people react to you being a piece of shit. i would have been okay with all that happening if holdo wasnt treated like some hero who never made any mistakes. she did make a mistake, and that was refusing to tell poe what her plan was when she knew he was absolutely the type to do whatever he could to save the rebellion whether he had her permission or not. also apparently holdo is a lesbian or bi or not straight or something in like the comics or whatever and like 1. classic bury ur gays but also 2. no more word of god gay characters if a character is not gay in the movies i will not give you the gay cred for it sorry homophobes

10. i didnt buy the story w luke and kyle at lukes jedi training facility or whatever. surprisingly, i was ok with lukes story line and character development, and actually agreed with it for the most part, but i just like. i dunno i didnt feel like that was something luke would do. not because luke is infallible (even tho he is my gay dad who has never done anything wrong ever) but because the entire original trilogy is luke believing darth vader could be saved. and while im not opposed to luke changing his mind about whether or not everyone could be turned away from the dark side (luke was young and optimistic in the original trilogy, and as he grew older he would learn more about the jedi and their history like the whole speech he gave rey about how the jedi have to end bc theyre lowkey shitty). i actually kind of liked luke’s hot take on the jedi, because it was lowkey my hot take on the jedi (esp the prequels jedi who were shitty as Fuuuuuck but we are ignoring the prequels for now lbr) but also because i could believe it was a view luke would come to as he aged. but impulsively drawing his lightsaber to kill kyle before he had actually done anything bad, after suspecting that kyle had darkness in him for a while, even though he felt like he had failed? it just didnt feel like luke to me. i felt more like raeyn had chosen that particular backstory to try to make kyle a more sympathetic villain rather than give a believable and in-character back story for the characters. i understand that luke’s failure ultimately has to lead to the creation of kyle ron in this story line, but that didnt feel like the right failure to me. maybe this is just me being nitpicky but that felt off to me too and i dont know if i can quite pinpoint why.

11. rey was a dumbass fucking bitch in this movie. rey could not be a dumbass fucking bitch to survive as a scavenger who was orphaned at birth on jakku. rey would have had to be smart and not as fucking DUMB as she was in this movie. now im getting heated so i cant articulate this well but she just did so many dumb things that anybody who had to raise themselves would have never done. she would never have delivered herself over to kyle ron like what a dumb fucking idea. who wrote this goddamn movie. fuck u ryeen.

12. why did yoda come back as a force ghost. where is anakins force ghost. he would be so fucking pissed at kyle right now. he would be mad as hell. he would have ended this thing. he would have called kyle out like the shitdickbitch he is and put him in his place. i get that yoda is more like ancient and orginal star wars jedi knowledge shit or whatever and like more of an authority on the jedi but like anakin is off in like force ghost hawaii drinking force ghost martinis while his shitty fucking grandson is being a piece of shit?? nah man anakin would have shut that shit down they better bring him back for ep IX and i expect hayden christensen himself to show up to bitch at kyle about what a fucking dumbass he is.

tbh theres probably more like i know there’s a ton of little things i hated but as scathing as this review is there were things i liked. visually speaking it was a very beautiful movie when we werent getting atrocious close ups of adam drivers ugly ass face. i originally hated but have come to appreciate the darker tone, since it mirrors the mood of TESB in that the rebellion seems dead but obviously isnt bc this is star wars. i liked luke. i dunno. i had a lot of issues with the movie obviously. to be quite honest i cant actually think of anything else i liked atm which is telling.

anyway if anybody actually reads this long ass fucking post feel free to respond with what you hated abt TLJ

#star wars #the last jedi #star wars ep viii #im probs gonna get hate for this but whtvr #anonymous #ask

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jdixiidbcjwob1 · 3 years

Text

Harry snuck a look up at her and smiled, “thanks.”

“Where’d you learn to cook.”

“Mom taught me.” he answered.

“Wish my mom had taught me how to cook.” Y/n mused more to herself than anything.

Harry said nothing and they continued eating.

“You confuse me.” Y/n said finally, putting her utensils done as she finished her food.

“How’s that?” Harry asked, picking up both of their plates to put in the sink.

“Sometimes you’re nice and sometimes you’re an asshole.”

“Well sometimes you’re calm and sometimes you’re bratty.” he said simply.

Y/n bit at her lip. She still hated the whole ‘princess whisperer’ thing but she just didn’t know how to bring it up. Staring at her handsome guard cleaning their dishes, she felt herself getting angry again.

If he thought he’d tamed her, he was dead wrong.

***

Her skin was tingling pleasantly as she escaped the humidity of the club, putting the cigarette between her lips as she leaned against the alley wall. Harry was out in a moment, just in time to see her light the death stick between her pretty, plump lips.

Taking a long drag, she removed the cigarette from her mouth, blowing a stream of smoke into the air. “Fuck.” she said, letting out a shaky breath, “been missing these.” she motioned with her hand, the cigarette elegantly perched between two fingers fixed with stiletto nails.

Harry said nothing.

Y/n laughed, taking another drag, “you gonna stern look me into putting this out?” she asked, “come on princess whisperer, show me how it’s done.”

Harry cocked his head at her, realization settling in, “you’re mad about that.”

“No, why would I be mad?” Y/n played stupid, rubbing at her lip with her thumb before taking another inhale from her cigarette, “it’s a reputation.”

Harry said nothing.

Y/n pushed herself off the wall, squaring up her bodyguard, “come on big shot. Show me how you do it. Show me how easy it is to have princesses on their knees for you. Show me what the big fucking deal is.”

“Never fucked any of them.” Harry said softly, taking the cigarette from Y/n’s fingers and giving a warning glare when she tried to pull her hand away. He took a drag, cheeks hollowing, looking like some grecian god - and then he tossed the half used cigarette on the ground and put it out with his foot.

“Hey-!”

“Calm down.” Harry said.

“I need something to do with my mouth now, give me some of the gum you’re always chewing.” Y/n demanded, holding out her hand angrily.

“Don’t have any left.” Harry said, “have something better.”

Y/n rolled her eyes but then her bodyguard was cupping her face, his thumb running over her lower lip.

“Open your mouth princess.”

She did as he said, as if hypnotized by the gorgeous man in front of her, his green eyes making her knees weak. She allowed him to put his thumb on her tongue, her lips wrapping around his knuckle, desperate to suck him in more.

“You still mad princess?” he asked.

She hummed a ‘no’ around his finger, closing her eyes a little to revel in it, needing something else, needing something more.

She pushed his hand away, grabbing the back of his head, fingers tangling in his curls while she pressed against him, eager for his lips. He pushed her back against the wall, keeping his lips just out of reach, he smirked, looking down at her, “told you I havent fucked any princesses, so what makes you think you’re so special?”

Y/n glared at him, pushing his chest to get him away, “fuck you.” she hissed, fixing her shirt, the strap having fallen off her shoulder earlier. Harry watched the motion, eyes devouring her.

“I should bring some guy home and fuck the shit out of him and show you what you’re missing.” she stated.

“You should, but you’re not going to.” Harry said.

“And what makes you so sure?”

He shrugged, jaw working the gum in his mouth, “guess I just know you Y/n.”

***

“So where’s my breakfast?” Y/n asked as she entered the kitchen. Her evening had ended early and Harry hadn’t said a word after they’d arrived home, so she’d gone straight to bed, eagerly awaiting what he’d make for her the next morning.

“Nowhere.” Harry answered, taking another bite of whatever breakfast sandwich he’d cooked up for himself.

“Can I have a bite of what you’re eating?”

“No.”

Y/n lunged for Harry and his sandwich, but he held it above her head, easily getting away from her because her ankle was still sore, making it hard for her to run to catch him.

“Just a bite!” she insisted.

“No.”

“I’ve been good!”

“Liar.” he snickered, “seriously stop running, you’ll hurt yourself.”

Y/n crossed her arms over her chest, “if you want me to stop chasing you and not hurt my ankle, you’ll have to handcuff me to something.”

It took all of a moment for Y/n to realize Harry was going to do what she’d suggested, and he pulled the handcuffs out of his back pocket, “suit yourself.” he put the sandwich between his teeth and grabbed her easily, locking her to the intricately woven leg of the kitchen counter.

Y/n pouted at him, “you’re mean.” she stated, watching him eat his sandwich.

“And you’re a brat.”

“You haven’t seen anything.” she warned him.

He scoffed, “sure I haven’t.”

***

Harry’s jaw muscle feathered as he watched Y/n hang all over the royal, laughing at everything he said, a flute of champagne in her hand while her other arm was around the man’s shoulders, keeping him close while he whispered in her ear.

When the man pressed a kiss to Y/n’s neck Harry’s fists clenched at his side.

She was being a brat.

She had promised him she would be. All because he hadn’t given her a bite of his sandwich.

She was such a fucking princess.

And it infuriated him. But there was something else to it, something else that was driving him wild, making his skin crawl.

When Y/n grabbed the man’s hand, leaning him out to where Harry had caught her smoking the night before, he followed, close on their heels.

Y/n pressed herself against the wall, taunting Shawn with her eyes, but the sweet boy wasn’t eager to rough her around, not the way Harry would. She cursed herself, angry to be thinking about Harry while with Shawn, even if it was all a big ploy to get her guards attention.

Shawn’s hands settled on her waist and then he was torn away by an angry looking Harry, “go back inside.” Harry stated.

“You can’t speak to him like that!” Y/n protested with anger as Shawn followed his command and scurried back inside, “he’s a royal-”

“And I’m just the help, yeah?” Harry seethed, making Y/n bite her tongue, “what are you doing with a guy like that anyways?”

“Shawn is nice.” she insisted.

“You don’t want nice.” Harry stated, grabbing Y/n’s face.

“Tell me what I want then.” Y/n challenged.

Harry searched her eyes and his gaze flickered to her lips. Then he was kissing her. Pushing her against the wall as his hands went down to her legs, wrapping them around his waist as he lifted her easily, teeth digging into her bottom lip as she moaned into his mouth.

His hand slid further up her thigh, pushing up the red silky material of her dress until he was toying with her lace panties.

And then he set her down, stepping back and leaving her breathless and wanting more.

“Lets go.” he said, “enough of this club.”

Y/n didn’t even argue, simply grabbing his hand and letting him take her back to the car. The entire ride his hand was on her thigh and Y/n couldn’t even form words in her brain, too focused on her body reacting to the man next to her.

As soon as they were in the villa Y/n grabbed Harry again, kissing him eagerly. He pushed her back and she pouted, “come on.” she said, grabbing the hem of her dress.

“We’re not sleeping together.” he stated and Y/n’s heart dropped in her chest, “not tonight. Not like this.”

Y/n pouted and Harry laughed, “pouting for sex now?” he pinched at her chin and she swatted his hand away.

“Fuck off.”

“Go to sleep.” he urged.

“I hate you.”

“Sure you do love.”

***

Y/n walked right past Harry, looking into the fridge. She pulled out a few things she guessed would be good for cooking, and searched for ten minutes for a frying pan only to find it washed and drying in the sink.

Harry watched her from the table, eyes curiously following the princess as she stood in front of the stove and attempted to crack an egg into an unheated pan.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Cooking.” she answered stubbornly.

“Heats gotta be on to cook anything love.”

“Oh.” Y/n searched for how to turn on the stove and set it on full heat.

Harry sighed, putting his book down, he went to stand behind her, “needs to be lower for an egg.” he stated, “I’ll show you.”

He was a patient teacher, answering all of Y/n’s child like questions about cooking. He realized she had honestly never cooked before a day in her life. It was endearing, frustrating, and something about it made him feel the need to help her.

When the breakfast was done Y/n hugged him, “tomorrow I’ll cook for you.” she promised.

Harry hummed, “don’t know if I’m ready for food poisoning love.”

Y/n shoved at his chest and then took her plate to the dinner table.

She held up her utensils and then looked at Harry. He looked so beautiful, leaning back in his chair, arms folded over his chest, watching her, waiting.

Y/n licked her lips and then stood up, walking over to Harry who unfolded his arms. She slung a leg over him and straddled his waist, hands on his shoulders as she looked at him, “hi.” she said.

He cracked a smile, hands on her waist, “hi.”

“Thanks for teaching me to cook.”

Harry said nothing.

Y/n moved closer, breath ghosting over his neck as she inhaled his sweet smell, “I really appreciate it.” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his skin.

Harry grabbed a fistful of her hair, pulling her back so he could attach his lips to hers. She tangled her fingers in his curls, grinding down on him. A moan left his lips and Y/n shivered in response, the small sound making her entire body react to him.

“Bedroom.” Y/n whined against his lips.

Harry pulled away and Y/n slowly opened her eyes, looking at him,

“Look.” he swallowed gruffly, “it’s not that I don’t want to sleep with you, I do-”

“Then let’s go.” she pleaded.

“You’re a princess-”

“So give me what I want.”

Harry laughed, “brat.”

She smiled at the term.

“You can’t have me.” he stated, “not forever. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Y/n frowned, taking in his words. She knew what he was saying. Knew what they both knew. Knew that if they took that final step, she’d be putty in his hands. Knew it would hurt more when they returned home and she’d have to act like he was just her guard.

“You’re right.” she said finally, reluctantly getting off of him. She ran a hand through her wild mane of hair, “I uh… I’m going to call Felicity, I think we’re going to catch lunch at a cafe on the beach.”

“Okay.” he nodded.

“Okay.”

****

The blush pink wine swirled in Y/n’s glass and she turned away from the ocean, looking inside at Harry who was watching her, comfortable and leaning back in his chair.

She’d decided not to go out. Decided perhaps this was a good day for self reflection. Her spirit had been dampened since the morning after her talk with Harry, and it was hard for her to be so close to him with the wound so raw.

“I want to go for a swim.” she stated finally.

Harry shrugged.

“You have to come too.” Y/n said.

“Why?”

“Incase a fish touches me or what if I drown? Or what about sharks?” Y/n asked.

Harry stood up, “fine.”

Within ten minutes Y/n was wading into the water from the steps leading from the villa into the ocean. It was cool, but not so cold she couldn’t handle it. The night was quiet, all the royals off partying in a club more at the centre of the island.

Y/n moved to be floating on her back, watching Harry enter the water. He looked uncomfortable and it made her laugh, “what? You don’t like swimming?”

Harry glared at her for a moment, “not if I can help it.”

Y/n moved to be standing, the water just up to her waist as she turned away from Harry and looked at the moon dipping into the water far away, “it’s so calm.” she mused.

Harry said nothing and for a few moments they just stood there in silence, watching the sky and listening to the soft lapping of the water. It was peaceful. The most peaceful togetherness they’d ever had.

Harry enjoyed it more than he’d ever admit.

“I like your tattoos.” Y/n said finally, looking at the way the moon lit up the dark lines on Harry’s skin, “wish I could get one.”

He said nothing, knowing why she couldn’t. Knowing the boundaries she had as a royal.

“I’m tired.” she said, still frowning, “think I’m going to go to sleep.”

Harry watched her walk up the steps to the villa and he frowned. He felt bad for her. He’d never felt bad for a princess before. There was more to her than he’d ever thought possible. Yes she was a brat, but she was something else too.

In her room, Y/n fell onto the bed, staring at the ceiling while tears prickled her eyes.

***

“You up?” came Harry’s voice after a knock at her door.

Y/n stayed quiet for a moment then said “yeah.” softly.

“Can I open the door?”

“Yeah.”

Sunlight flooded her room and Harry looked at her, “Are you okay?”

Y/n sighed heavily, rolling over to cuddle her pillow, “m fine.” she mumbled.

Harry was quiet then entered the room, sitting on her bed, “tell me what’s wrong.”

His fingers brushed her shoulder gently and Y/n turned to look at him, seeing the concern on his face. “I’m pissed off and sad and hungry and tired and annoyed-” she began, rubbing at her sleepy eyes.

Harry frowned, keeping his mouth shut to give her room to vent.

She took a deep breath, sitting up to look at Harry, “I just… I know you’re this princess whisperer and you’re a douchebag half the time, but you’ve taken care of me, and I really appreciate it. I’m just mad because every year I’ve come here and relaxed for a week and been able to do what I want, and yeah, it sucks when I go back to the real world and leave this all behind, but this time… this time it’s you. And-” she felt tears in her eyes and her lower lip trembled, “I don’t want to leave what we have behind.”

Harry wiped away her tears and Y/n pressed her cheek against his warm hand, waiting for a response. He opened his mouth-

There was a knock at the door, “wake up Y/n it’s almost one!” Felicity screamed.

Harry looked towards the door then back at Y/n, “we’ll talk about this later yeah?” he asked.

She frowned but nodded, letting out a meak “yeah.”

***

“What’s your deal?” Louisa asked, “you’ve been quiet all afternoon.”

Y/n shrugged, not looking up from the salad she’d been picking at for an hour, her Bellini melted and untouched next to it.

“I’m just…” she sighed, “being royal is so cool, and I know there are boundaries but they’ve always been okay but… what do you do when the boundary is too much?”

“What do you mean?” Felicity asked.

“I mean… forget about it.” she waved her hand, “it’s stupid.”

She knew it wasn’t stupid. She knew she was having some sort of existential crisis, but she also knew that she couldn’t really discuss it with her friends. Yeah, thinking her bodyguard was hot was one thing, but actually having feelings for him? For the help? That was another issue entirely. One she knew would harm her street cred with the royals, one she knew would spread like wildfire, especially because of Harry’s reputation.

“I just… I think I need to go home and take a nap.” she said finally.

“What about clubbing? You didn’t come out last night either.” Louisa asked.

Y/n shrugged, “partying doesn’t seem so fun anymore.” especially when you can’t dance with who you want to dance with.

Harry was waiting for her with the car door open when she got onto the street, he took one look at her downcast eyes and frowned, “you alright?”

Y/n shook her head, biting her lip. He closed the car door behind her.

The ride was silent, Y/n fidgeted with the hem of her dress. When they arrived at the villa she opened her own door and Harry followed her into the house.

“About this morning-” Harry said as soon as the door was closed.

“I was being stupid, forget about it.” Y/n said.

“You weren’t being stupid.” Harry assured her, grabbing her hand, “I don’t want to leave this behind either.”

Y/n searched his eyes, “I’m just…” she swallowed, “part of me wants to sleep with you because if I don’t, I know I’ll regret it, but as you said yesterday, if we do that… it might hurt more. So no matter what I’m going to be hurting.”

Harry nodded.

Y/n bit her lip, sizing him up, “but… I think… we still have over a week, so if I’m going to hurt no matter what, we should just do what we want to do.”

Harry brushed a dark strand of hair from her face, “are you sure?”

She nodded, eyes darting between down to his lips then back up, “yeah.”

He cupped her face, pressing his forehead against hers, “you’re such a brat.”

“I’m your brat.” she smiled.

He chuckled, “yeah. You are.”

His eyes were gleaming and the two were smiling at each other like they never had before. In that moment, he just held her, and the two enjoyed being there, enjoyed each other for who they were, fully, completely, entirely.

Then his lips were on hers, softly, another difference, but one Y/n thoroughly enjoyed. She melted against his chest, hands going to the loops of his jeans to pull him closer. Eyes closed, lips moving slowly, Harry’s tongue slid across her lower lip and she tilted her head back more to give him access to he could deepen the kiss.

Then he was lifting her up, a squeal leaving Y/n’s lips as she clung onto him, laughing while he carried her to his bedroom.

His duvet smelt like him and Y/n immediately grabbed a fistfull of it when he set her down, stretching across his bed like a happy cat who owned the place. He grinned down at her, “make yourself at home then.”

She smirked then made grabby hands at him, “come join me.”

He got on the bed, his arms next to her head to keep him upright while his body slid into the slot between her legs. He ground down against her, one hand pushing the fabric of her dress up as their lips locked again.

He cupped her face, fingers brushing over her skin as he smiled against her lips, “so pretty.” he mused, stopping to just appreciate her.

Under his gaze, Y/n looked away, a blush spreading over her skin. She’d been on the front cover of magazines, done cat walks, been in the public eye since she was born, but one look from the man between her legs had her stomach flip flopping.

It always had.

“Take off your shirt.” she whispered bashfully, as if she’d never seen a bare torso before.

Harry smiled at her shyness and pulled away, kneeling as he unbuttoned his shirt. Each button exposed more skin and Y/n watched with interest, biting at her lip. Harry noticed her eager eyes and his smile widened, “such a good girl being patient for me.”

She could have moaned just at that. The thought of being his good girl, not always being a brat, of praise instead of degradation… she liked it all. She seemed to like everything that came out of his mouth, even if she hadn’t realized it fully before.

“Want to be your good girl.” she whispered.

He took off his shirt, muscles moving as he threw it off the bed, he eyed her, “you are.”

“Am I?” she bit at her finger nail teasingly, smiling as he leaned over her again, their noses just touching.

“Yeah. You are.”

He kisses her softly again but after a few moments he was grinding down against her and her fingers were pulling at his curls. The feeling of his jeans against her, keeping them seperate, made her whine, her lower lip pouting out and Harry nipped at it.

“Too slow?”

She nodded, still pouting.

He sighed, “foreplay is the best part.”

She shook her head.

He rolled his eyes and laughed, “needy girl.” he got off of her and pulled down his pants, leaving him in just briefs as Y/n removed her dress eagerly, watching his strong shoulders as he moved to get a condom.

He came back and set it on the bed side table, taking in Y/n and her lacey black lingerie. He’d seen her in bikinis every day all week, but there was just something about what she was wearing that was different, dangerous, for his eyes only. He swallowed thickly.

She got on her knees on the bed, “come on.” she urged but there was a fragile note to it, as if she was afraid he would say no.

She patted the bed and Harry realized she wanted some control. He thought about it for a moment, perhaps after a week of telling the girl what to do, he could let her take the reins a little.

He laid down next to her and she straddled him, pressing her palms against his bare chest. Her fingers danced across his bird tattoos then down to the marks above his hip bones, “I love these.” she mused, “they’re so you.”

They were. Having spent every waking moment with each other all week, Y/n had come to know Harry on a different level than she knew most guys. She enjoyed what she saw of him.

His hands went to her hips and he squeezed her a little, drawing her attention back up to him. Leaning over Harry, she pressed her lips to his, grinding down on him. She could feel him straining against his briefs and she was impressed with how big he felt.

She wanted to tease him, just a little. Wanted to get him so riled up he took control back.

It only took a minute for Harry to realize the little smirk she had was because she was waiting for a reaction, and after an eye roll he flipped her over, hand going under her back to unclasp her bra before he tore it from her and threw it across the room.

She giggled, heart racing as he connected their lips again. His hand moved up, cupping her breast and making her moan into his mouth. His kisses moved to her jaw then her neck and Y/n’s back arched off the bed when his lips finally wrapped around one of her nipples. Her fingers pulled at his hair and the whimpers leaving her mouth were making Harry’s skin feel electric.

He continued his journey down and when he got to her little black thong he removed it gingerly, taking his time sliding it down her long legs despite her mewls to go faster.

Once her panties were discarded on the floor, Harry’s fingers slid up Y/n’s leg and he positioned them both over his shoulders, kissing the soft flesh of her upper thigh.

“Please Harry.” she whimpered, eyes already closed, chest heaving in anticipation.

The first lick had her hands flying to his hair, almost too much for her to bear after a week of practically no contact. “Patience love.” Harry laughed before getting a better grip on her, his hands going to her waist to keep her down as he wrapped his lips around her sensitive bud.

Y/n’s body jolted, eyes closing as he began to devour her like she was his last meal. When one of his fingers slid inside of her, they both knew she wouldn’t last long. Her sounds got louder, pleading, repeating Harry’s name over and over.

He curled his digit, searching for that spot that had her toes curling. He sucked harder on her clit and Y/n moaned, falling over the edge. Harry continued to work her through her orgasm until her legs were shaking on his shoulders, only then did he pull away, licking his fingers clean as he looked down at her.

Her eyes were still closed as she basked in the after-shudders, chest still moving up and down. Harry removed his briefs and slipped on the condom, getting between her legs, “you alright?” he asked, brushing her wild hair from her face.

She nodded, opening her eyes to look up at him, “yeah.”

“Ready fo’ me?”

She laughed, “yeah.”

He rubbed against her entrance, getting slick with her, he wanted to just push in but wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her.

“Please.” she said finally, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, putting her face in the crook of her neck, kissing his skin softly like the first night she’d gotten drunk and made his heart race as it was racing in that moment.

He pushed just his head in and her nails dug into his shoulders, “fuck, you’re big.”

He laughed, “sorry.”

Then she giggled, “don’t be sorry.”

“I’m not.” he admitted, pushing in more and shutting her up. He moved in slowly, bit by bit, taking a few test thrusts at half way just to get her going. Y/n took a breath, body relaxing as she got used to the stretch.

“Okay, you can go deeper.” she told him.

It was easier for him to move, her body reacting to him deliciously and helping the process. Once he was fully inside of her she gasped and he moaned at the feeling, loving the way she was completely wrapped around him.

Her body almost shook at the feeling of him filling her, and when he pulled almost all the way out before sliding back in, she moaned so loudly Harry almost stopped just to bask in it. But instead, he picked up his pace, earning louder and more frequent moans. Every thrust had her reacting, and when he pressed his lips to hers it muffled the sounds a little but she still couldn’t contain them.

Harry grabbed at her thigh, pushing it up so he could go deeper. That’s when he remembered that the girl under him had taken years of ballet, as was pretty practical royal custom. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he’d never fucked (or even kissed) a royal, and the fact that she was flexible had his heart pounding even more.

Her leg just went farther up until he maneuvered it over his shoulder. A loud gasp escaped her lips as he hit the deepest spot and Harry stopped, also moaning loudly.

“Harry I’m gonna cum.” she told him, “please, I’m gonna cum.”

Harry took a deep breath, knowing he was close too. He wanted to give her what she wanted but he also wanted to make it last. He was conflicted. She felt so good, so warm. And she was so beautiful. He’d never met a girl as beautiful as she was.

His hips moved back before he snapped in again and Y/n let out a scream, grabbing at his forearms as her back arched off the bed.

As if he could resist that.

Harry found a fast, relentless pace, hitting that deep spot over and over. The curses leaving her lips were downright scandalous, but Harry couldn’t even make fun of her for it, so enraptured with his own bliss, his own orgasm he was chasing.

His speed picked up even more and Y/n came around him, entire body shuddering as he helped her ride it out, the fluttering of her walls dragging him over the edge too. Harry moaned, eyes closed, grabbing Y/n’s thigh harshly as he thrust a few more times.

When he stopped, they both just stayed that way for a few moments, one of her legs over his shoulders, hands still on his forearms. They both tried to catch their breaths.

Harry pulled out and Y/n whined at the loss.

“Come on princess, let’s get you in the shower then we can sleep.” he said.

“I can sleep here?” she asked.

He smiled, “of course.”

She smiled back and for a few seconds she didn’t even know what to say to him. Didn’t know what words would even do justice to the way her heart was soaring in her chest, then she laughed, “I really like you.”

“Like you too Y/n.”

***

She looked so beautiful tangled in the sheets. Yes, she’d hogged the blankets the whole night, but Harry took one look at her innocent, sleeping face, and he couldn’t hold it against her. He just looked at her for a while, admiring the few freckles splattering her angular nose. Her high cheekbones and pretty dark lashes that matched her long hair that had been so silky to the touch.

Something inside of her must have told her to wake up because green eyes blinked at him and then she was smiling. Harry took a breath, pleased that her first emotion after slumber had been happiness.

“Goodmorning.” he said.

“Hi.” she answered, stretching and then pulling him close, basking in his warmth, “how did you sleep?”

“Fine, you?”

“Really good.”

“What do you want for breakfast?” he asked.

“Eggs.” she answered, “please.”

“Okay.”

He moved to get up but she held him tighter, “kisses.” she whined.

Harry laughed, pressing his lips against hers softly. She let go of him and Harry went to the kitchen.

He was surprised when Y/n joined him a minute later, she looked groggy and the shirt she’d picked up of his was big on her but she was adorable. She came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his front as she pressed her cheek against his back. They stood there like that, quiet, peaceful, just cooking and enjoying each other.

“Plans for today?” Harry asked.

“Felicity wants to meet up with some people, so after breakfast I’ll do that.” Y/n said, “rather be here with you though.”

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