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#coops
lumosinlove · 7 months
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Bus naps with cap and re.
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fruitcoops · 2 months
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In the Beginning
Going back to my roots this year with some pre-Coops PT fluff :) This is definitely going to turn into a short series (with exceptions for Leo's birthday, of course) and I'm really excited about it! Hoping for some more time to create this spring <3 Character credit goes to @lumosinlove
TW canon injury (Sirius' ankle)
“Sirius.” Despite the whiteboard with his name scrawled next to 11:00, Remus still managed to sound pleasantly surprised. “Hi, how are you?”
“Fine.”
God, he sounded like an asshole. Remus’ smile didn’t falter. “Glad to hear it. Come on in, take a seat wherever.”
Was this it? The first test? Sirius glanced between the chair by Remus’ desk and the exam table. Hell, maybe he was supposed to sit on the stool. Was he? Was that a ‘Remus spot’ everyone else was smart enough to not even consider?
He picked the chair. Lowered himself gingerly to the cushioned seat, crutches propped on the armrest next to him. A spot on his ankle itched under the Velcro of his stiff boot.
“Thanks for making the time today,” Remus continued, as if Sirius had been any sort of friendly or welcoming. “I really appreciate it. This’ll be quick and easy—just a check-in, figuring out what’s going on and where we want to be. Sound okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Sick.” Remus dug around behind his desk for a moment; Sirius could hear papers riffling. Remus’ brow furrowed for a second before relaxing with satisfaction as he pulled a sheet free. “Alright. Sirius Black, meet your new best friend.”
Sirius blinked. “You?”
“Ha! No, I think Pots still has me beat,” Remus laughed, sliding a clipboard across the desk. He pulled his own chair around as well, even though Sirius could see him fold his knees out of the way of the desk. It couldn’t be comfortable. “I don’t like sitting back there when you guys are in here,” Remus said, as if he could read Sirius’ mind. The side of his nose scrunched. “Feels…bossy? I dunno. Can’t really write upside-down, either.”
“Ah. Ouais.”
“But that’s—” Remus waved a vague hand and picked a pen from the broken-handled mug tucked by his computer. “It’s not important. This, on the other hand, is your two-week chart. Decorate it, marry it, I don’t care. As long as you know it’s yours and can find it in that—” He pointed to a wire bin by the door. “—box. Capische?”
Sirius shrugged one shoulder and readjusted his ankle under the table. “Sure.”
“Shweet. There are some forms under the top sheet, if you can fill those out for me real quick.”
Remus stood as Sirius bent his head to write; he puttered in Sirius’ periphery, collecting tape and bandages and a handful of other things from the drawers lining the walls before moving to the exam table behind him. Something spritzed, filling the air with the faint scent of lemon. When he glanced back, Remus was wiping down the exam table with a washcloth.
The table. Of course. He should’ve known. “Do you want me to move?”
“You can if you like.” A lopsided smile found him over Remus’ shoulder. “I’m just cleaning, though. Take your time.”
Feels like I’m taking nothing but time, he thought with no small amount of bitterness. At least Remus meant well. Arthur kept telling him he could have all the recovery time he needed, but Sirius could tell he was getting impatient. He hadn’t even been allowed to think about physical therapy before the six-week mark was up. On some teams, that was long enough to justify rumors of a trade.
Ink smeared under the side of his hand. Sirius cursed under his breath and licked his thumb to smudge it off, but only succeeded in blurring it more. He gave up and scribbled it out, leaving the check mark next to the box instead. Remus’ handwriting was at the top of the page. Sirius Black, printed with a gentle slant to the right. Numbers looped, their tails snagging into one another. Sirius had never met someone who wrote their ‘2’s that way.
“Done?”
He jumped.
“Ope, sorry,” Remus half-laughed as he rolled behind his desk again. The wheels of his chair squeaked. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
Sirius shook his head. “You’re fine. And ouais, here.”
“Thanks.” Remus flipped through the clipboard with easy neutrality. Sirius had expected him to take this a little more…well, seriously. “Looks good. Like I said before, today is just getting the boring stuff out of the way. Forms, building your exercise plan, making sure you don’t run screaming from the room.”
Sirius frowned. “Why would I do that?”
“Hopefully, you won’t.” Remus gave him a look—a joke, he realized a second too late.
“Oh—yes, no, not at all.” Great recovery. It took everything he had not to roll his eyes at himself.
Again, Remus seemed unaffected by his awkwardness. Did he just not see it? Did he think Sirius was playing along? But Remus was always like that, with every one of them. Unflappable and infallible. The world was smooth and calm for him, like a lake on a windless day in the dead of summer. He was wearing a shirt of the same blue-gray as the pond in the park by Sirius’ house.
“How’s your ankle feeling today?”
Get out of your head. “It’s…fine.”
The side of Remus’ mouth pulled up. “Gotta give me something to work with here, Cap.”
“A little sore?”
The light caught his sandy hair as he tipped his head back and forth. “Sore how?”
“Just…” Sirius shrugged. “Sore. Like normal.”
“Stabby? Dull? Lightning-y? Can you feel your heartbeat in it?”
“Um.” The cool air of the PT room siphoned into the small gaps of his boot when he wiggled his toes. “Mostly dull. Sharper when I take the cast off.”
Remus nodded. “You haven’t been putting weight on it?”
“Non.”
“Good. That sounds about right for this point of recovery. Is it an ‘all the time’ kind of pain, or just when you do certain things?”
This was a lot more talking than Sirius had anticipated. He had assumed Remus would sit him on the exam table, poke around, and then send him off with some ice packs and stretches. More time, he said when Sirius had imagined it. You just have to give it another week or two, and you’ll be fine. A hopeful part of him figured they’d let him back on the ice as soon as the bone was healed.
“It’s sore a lot,” Sirius admitted. “The dull kind. It gets worse when I move around, I guess.”
“Even with crutches?”
“Ouais.”
“Do you sleep with it on?”
“…my crutches?”
“The boot,” Remus snorted, though it wasn’t mean. He was rocking slightly in his chair, back and forth. Sirius could see the armrests turn with each light push of his foot behind the desk. The tense thing in his belly eased. If Remus was this casual, maybe he was allowed to take some deeper breaths.
“They gave me a different one for the night,” he said. “It’s softer.”
“Are you more of a back sleeper, side sleeper…?” Remus trailed off, gaze darting across Sirius’ face, and gave a sheepish grin. “That sounds super invasive, wow, sorry. I promise I’m just trying to figure out if you’re sleeping on it weird.”
Sirius tried to school his expression. He didn’t want to know what face he had been making at Remus’ question—they knew each other well enough to not fix him with a media glare. “Uh, my back,” he answered. “Usually. The doctors said to put it up on a pillow until it healed.”
“Cool, cool, sounds good.” Remus nodded again, then drummed his hands on his thighs. “Alright. Those are all the questions I have. Any on your end? Concerns, preferences…?”
How fast can you get me out there? Something told him Remus wouldn’t have an answer he’d like. “No, I’m good.”
Remus had a dimple on his left cheek. It made a divot with his small smile. “Great. Ready to hop on the table so I can take a look?”
It took a moment for Sirius to get to his feet; he reached for his crutches, only to find Remus already holding them steady for him. He hobble-hopped the five or so feet from the desk to the exam table; six and a half weeks in, and the crutches still did their best to stymie him at every turn. Horrible fucking things. His underarms were rubbed raw after fifteen minutes. Clunky and awkward and—
“Hold on.”
Sirius paused.
Remus was frowning at his leg. “Those don’t look right.”
“Quoi?”
“You’re…what, six-three?”
“About.”
“Sit, sit.” Remus ushered him to the edge of the table, but took the crutches as soon as Sirius perched himself on the cushions. He pressed a small button near the base; aluminum squeaked as the foot shortened by a few notches. “That’s better,” Remus muttered, almost to himself. “These pads are all worn out, too. Did they give you towels?”
What the fuck? “Uh, no?”
A disgruntled exhale made Remus’ nostrils flare. He leaned the crutches against the wall with a similarly irritated tilt to his mouth. “Remind me to give you some before you go, or the tops are going to wear the hell out of your armpits. I reset the height, too. They were two inches too tall.”
“Oh,” Sirius said helpfully.
“It’s not, like, a huge deal or anything, but it’s uncomfortable.” Remus cocked his head. He regarding Sirius with a critical, but not harsh, eye. “Has your back been hurting?”
Sirius shifted in his seat. “…yes.”
“That’s probably from the height issue.” Remus’ nose twitched with clear displeasure. A pen turned between his fingers, glimmering in the pale light. Sirius hadn’t noticed the bandaid on his knuckle before. The pen stilled with a sigh, then vanished into Remus’ pocket. “Sorry, I just—Moody and I have been trying to get the guys to come in here sooner, because of shit like this. Crutches at the wrong height, no towels, not knowing you’re allowed to wash braces. You’re already uncomfortable, you know? No need to make it worse.”
“Sorry.”
“Oh, god, it’s not your fault,” Remus said immediately, pumping hand sanitizer into his palm. “Just sucks that we have to ask permission. It’s not like we’re going to do anything stupid while bones are still healing.”
Sirius swung his legs up on the table while Remus rolled a stool across the speckled linoleum; his ankle twinged, but he managed to keep his wince light.
It was no use. “What was that?”
“Hmm?”
“Face.” Remus pointed at him, arching a brow. “You’re in my rink now, bud. You made a face. You can either lie about it, or get out of here on time.”
Perhaps Sirius had been a bit overconfident in how well he could hide pain. “Just sore when I lift it.”
“Where?”
“Uh. My ankle.”
“Right, I—” Remus broke off with a short laugh. “Sorry. Is there pain in other places when you lift it?”
He let Remus wave him further onto the table before answering. “I can feel it in my calf and foot. A little into my knee.”
The plastic was sticky from cleaning solution, but the cushions were perfectly firm on his lower back. He let his head rest back against the wall with a slow breath and wiggled his toes again. It was nice, being able to do that without lancing pain. Remus tapped his thumb against the edge of the table a few times before moving to stand by Sirius’ feet. “Can I take your shoe off, or do you want to?”
“Oh. Um…” He sat up further, but his fingers just barely brushed the hem of his pants. With a grind of his back teeth and a quick flash of pain, he bent his opposite knee and pulled the shoelace free. His ankle began throbbing faintly as he nudged the shoe off—sock too, thanks—and a puff of air slipped out when he finally leaned back.
Remus was watching him with a sad sort of wariness. “Can I make a request?”
You could ask me to do literally anything. “Yeah, sure.”
“Please don’t ever do that again.”
If he didn’t look so sympathetic, Sirius would have bristled. “What?”
“That—” Remus gestured at him. “Looked painful as fuck. This is an anti-pain establishment. If you think something’s going to hurt, we’ll work around it. No judgement.”
The thing was, Sirius hadn’t actually done this before. He knew where the ice packs were kept, and that the big steel container in the corner held heat pads in boiling water. He knew where the support bandages were, where Remus kept extra stick tape, and that the set of small drawers next to the desk would each be labeled with the name of a teammate so they could find specific gear. Remus had given him stretches for his sore back and arms and legs and whatever, but this—the shoes, the touching, the gentleness—there was no rulebook. No captain’s log to rattle through when he needed guidance.
“Okay,” he finally said. “That’s cool.”
“Cool.” Remus gave him that half-smile again. “Can I take your boot off?”
“Ouais.”
Remus was a lot nicer to the Velcro than he was. The rip was quieter than Sirius thought it could be, peeled off by practiced hands. He felt the pressure on his skin release immediately and took a breath at the tender feeling. Not pain, but something close. It made his heart spike every time. “Hurting?”
“Non.”
“You sure?”
“Just—makes me nervous.”
“Makes sense,” Remus agreed. “You’ve had it all wrapped up. Feels safer in there, right?”
Right. Exactly right. Something tightened in the center of his chest. “Yeah,” he said. “Something like that.”
Remus nodded. “Is it okay if I take it the rest of the way off? I can do most of the exam like this if that’s better.”
“You’re asking me a lot of questions.” He tried to sound wry. He wasn’t sure it came out that way.
“Lot of people don’t like touching,” Remus answered easily. He hadn’t moved to touch the boot again, hands flat to the maroon plastic covering the table. “I’d rather you tell me to step off now than make something hurt more.” He gave Sirius an apologetic sort of grin. “Plus, you’re probably sick of people grabbing at you. Don’t really want to be one of them.”
Sirius was sick of it. Hands and fingers and grasping through slivers in plexiglass while he was trying to move, goddamnit, when he just wanted to go back down the tunnel and finally be able to catch his breath. People grabbing him on the ice, pushing. Snape’s body against his own—a shoulder in his sternum. Fingers digging into his skin. A tight grip on the back of his neck.
“You can take it off.”
Remus had a crooked canine tooth. Had he noticed that before? “Thanks.”
Sirius’ fists clenched at the touch of warm hands on his heel and calf. It was…fucking strange, but not painful. Not unpleasant, either. Remus had calluses in the bends of his knuckles and on his palm when he carefully transferred Sirius’ foot to one hand and set the boot up by his hip.
“I’m sweaty,” he blurted. “Sorry.”
Embarrassment flooded him before Remus laughed. “Dude, you have no idea how nasty your boys are when they roll up here. Did you know I had to send a reminder to shower before seeing me? And to wear clean clothes?”
Sirius wrinkled his nose. “Ugh.”
“They don’t cut their toenails, either.” Remus’ eyes flicked up to his face, bright and teasing. “I’m not telling you who, but if you can throw a little captain-y weight around…”
“I’ll try.” It almost came out a laugh. Surprise tingled in his lungs. “But seriously, you don’t need me. They listen to you like gospel.”
“Oh, please.”
“They do,” he insisted. Remus rolled his eyes. “Non, non, I’m serious—”
“Yes, I know.”
“—fuck off—you could tell them to brush their teeth four times a day and they’d be at it. They listen to you more than me.”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” Remus informed him. “And I also think you’re healing really well.”
“I—what?” Sirius looked down; his ankle was back on the cushion, cradled lightly between Remus’ palms. It jolted something in him. Had his skin always been that pale? He could see the line where the boot ended halfway up his calf. His foot looked ghostly in the light and everything else looked…thin. Skin and muscle, even bone.
He propped himself up on the heels of his hands. The angry, puckered scar from surgery had faded to a narrow line. When had that happened? Surely not overnight. It had looked so ugly in the shower yesterday, which was exactly why he tended to avoid looking at it. He glanced up at Remus’ patient face. Was he grossed out? That wasn’t how Sirius’ ankle was supposed to look. The knobbly bones on either side were practically gray in comparison; they stuck out, as if someone had stuck two marbles under his skin. His stomach turned.
“Sirius?”
He hummed.
“You okay?”
The joking tone had gone from Remus’ voice. The pit of Sirius’ stomach was heavy. His ankle looked weak; his calf, skinny all the way to the weird lump of his knee. “Mhm.”
“We can be done.” Slight movement caught his attention as Remus ducked to catch his eye. There was the solemnity he had expected. It was odd to see it now. “Any time. Just say the word.”
“The exam?”
“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do.” Firmness had never sounded so kind. “These first steps are visual, anyway.”
Am I done? Sirius looked back at his foot, the strangeness of it, the sickly mirror of his healthy one. “Keep going.”
“Are you—”
“I’m okay.” He mustered a deep breath. “I’m good. Keep going.”
“Okay,” Remus said quietly.
They sat in relative silence, but it wasn’t bad. Sirius was glad for a break. It was easier to watch Remus work than hold a conversation. The tenderness faded somewhat under the gentle touches of Remus’ fingertips—a tap here and there, faint pressure in the soft spots. Murmurs of feeling alright? and tell me if this hurts filled the buzzing static in Sirius’ ears.
“Ow.”
“Here?” Remus’ first two fingers hovered at the arch of his foot. Sirius nodded. “Cool, thanks. Your swelling isn’t too bad. I think I’m going to hold off on big exercises until Monday, okay?”
Disappointment, bitter and tacky as molasses. “Yeah.” He couldn’t keep the sigh out of his voice.
“We’ll get there.” When he remained silent, Remus poked the peak of his kneecap. “Hey. We’ll get there, I promise. I want you to work on the rest of your flexibility this week. Keep the boot on, but stretch out your legs and back. Your other muscles have been compensating for this and I don’t want anything to get strained.”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to do everything I can to get you back on the ice.” Sirius could hear the but in his voice before he even finished speaking. “But I won’t rush through this and throw you out there just to get hurt again.”
Hurt again. Pain, cold and consuming, flashed in his memory. “Okay.”
“If anyone gives you shit, I want you to throw me under the bus, alright?” The last strap of Velcro fell into place. Remus was even careful with that part. The pressure on his skin was familiar and welcome. He felt a light pat to the table. “Tell them it’s all my fault. That I’m being overcautious and mean and keeping you here, whatever. If the coaches have a problem with your care, they can talk to me and Moody about it. Not you.”
“Okay.”
Remus let him get up unhindered. That was nice. Sirius was pretty sure he’d lose his mind at one more helping hand. He waddled back to the desk chair at an incline of Remus’ chin and was once again relegated to watching while Remus taped some small, folded towels to the tops of his crutches before joining him by the desk.
“You did great.”
Wasn’t that a thing to imagine. Could barely get my shoe off, but alright. “Merci.”
“It’s hard to get people to come in here and actually want to get better.” Remus scribbled a few things on the chart. His forehead crinkled in the middle with concentration. “Lotta guys think they’re fine as soon as the doctors’ visits end. But this is the part that’ll make a difference in the long run.”
The chart slid across the table, followed by a smaller, far more sparkly sheet. A smile pulled at Sirius’ mouth in spite of himself. “Gold stars?”
“Very serious stamps of completion, actually.” The corners of Remus’ mouth were tight with restrained amusement. He couldn’t keep the laughter out of his eyes. “You can pick a different theme if you want. Talkie’s got Lisa Frank, which was kind of a power move.”
Sirius snorted—it was over from there. It took a minute for them to collect themselves, and as much as he hated to admit it, he did feel better after peeling a star from the sheet and sticking it in the first box. “Regarde,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Success.”
“Perfect.” Laughter still lingered in Remus’ voice. It was a nice sound. It was nicer when he looked up and smiled, like Sirius had put one of those heating pads right in the valley of his ribs. “Alright, well, that’s all I need. We can do the same time tomorrow, or you can check out the schedule. We technically have office hours, but you can shoot me a text if we need to find a different one. Number’s on the board. Make sure you give your name in the first message.”
“Okay.” Those ‘2’s again, in green marker this time. That weird feeling in his chest was softening. “Yeah, okay. I think tomorrow works for me.”
“Awesome, see you then.”
“Awesome.” Why can’t I talk? Sirius stood and took his crutches back with a slight stumble. He hoped it passed off as broken-ankle unsteadiness, not—whatever else was going on. He breathed an audible sigh of relief when the tops didn’t immediately begin to chafe his inner arms. “Oh, wow, thanks. This is great.”
“Yeah?” He could hear Remus’ smile before he even turned. He looked pleased, fiddling with the edge of Sirius’ chart. “I’m glad. Sucks to not have what you need, and not even know it.”
“Lucky we’ve got you then, eh?”
Remus’ cheeks flushed. It was rather warm in the room. “Nah. I’m the lucky one. Best job in the world.”
“Got you beat, there.”
Another laugh made Sirius’ chest squeeze pleasantly. It was good to see Remus happy, with all he did for them. “Guess you do,” Remus admitted, then shooed at him with the chart. “Get outta here, your boys are waiting. And check the box by the door for this when you come in tomorrow, got it?”
“Très bien, Loops.”
Maybe it was the adjustments to his crutches, or the promise of something like progress on the horizon, but Sirius didn’t feel quite so awful as he made his way down the hall. He almost felt good, actually. Almost hopeful.
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moonloup · 9 months
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SEE THIS IS WHY I DONT SAY ANYTHING
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crazyginger1222 · 2 years
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Bitches be like "I don't feel too good today" but it's just an excuse to stay home and read gay fanfiction
It's me, I'm Bitches
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remuslupininskirts · 7 months
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I need Wolfstar recs! Please. I can never find good fics.
Wait give me a minute to compile.
*Me takes ages to get list then forgets about ask by accident*
Me: shit.
Okay here we go
Storms and stress
Sirius is a student at durmstrang and comes to hogwarts then meets the boys
Forever is a state of mind
Deaf dance choreographer remus with young teddy meets make-up artist sirius.
Red, White & Royal Annoyance
Rwrb au for wolfstar (the garden kiss)
Siriusly? The moon!? Okay i went through a period of really liking social media aus so this is another
Countermoves
Hunger games au.
Literally read anything by athenowl and you should be good so hears some of their other stuffs
Axe and sword
Royal au -athenowl
The secret garden
A secret garden au -athenowl
Okay i will stop with the athenowl love now
Turn on my charm
Oh wait another fuckin YouTuber au i promise i dont have a problem
.You’re my kaleidoscope
Raising teddy au after he was left on remus’s doorstep. James and sirius step up to the plate to help
The kitchens
Will you accept another royal au?
OKAY AND THE BEST FOR LAST. MY FAVOURITE SHIP AND SUB-FANDOM
Sweater weather
Ice hockey au. It has the best fandom ever around it with loads of other fics.
My favourites being written by @/fruitcoops
Who may or may not also be athenowl
Their fics are just crazy good okay.
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nikarie5 · 6 months
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Gryffindor Lions Refuse to Take a Step Backwards
Sirius Black, Remus Lupin Gryffindor Lions Captain and Forward TOPLINE Gryffindor Lions refuse to accept NHL's ban on Pride tape for their sticks. Albus Dumbledore, team owner, says he will personally cover any fines the team receives for their violations of uniform rules relating to diversity and equality theme nights. Past and present team members have offered to cover fines for any players on other teams who also visibly show their support on ice. Main Article We, and our whole Lions organization, categorically refuse to comply with the "guidelines" outlined in the NHL's memo sent out to all teams last night dictating what gear and uniforms can be worn on the ice for themed events. We will continue to use Pride tape in regular games and at our Pride Night, as will many of our teammates. We are grateful for the support from Lion's owner Albus Dumbledore, who reached out to Coach Weasley and the rest of the team to tell us that he would personally cover any fines we received for uniform violations relating to diversity and equality events this season. We have established a fund to cover any fines received by players on other teams who also continue to show their support with Pride tape or other uniform "violations". Any players wanting to contribute to the fund can reach out to us or the #Hockey4All foundation.
The NHL is taking a step backwards with their decision to ban visible on-ice support for diversity and equality initiatives. We can't support that. We have been open about our disappointment with the league's announcement last June to ban commemorative jerseys, and strongly condemn this latest attack by the league on the rights of players. We also want to take this opportunity to express our disappointment in the league's reinstatement of Arsenius Malfoy as assistant coach to the Slytherin Snakes. [Editorial note: Mr. Malfoy was proven to be responsible for the pictures which outed Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin in January 2020, and received a $50,000 fine and a one-year suspension from the league.] The outpouring of support we received from players, coaches, and fans following our outing has been greater than we ever imagined. I (Sirius) can't express how much it meant to see fellow players showing their support with Pride tape at the All-Star game the morning after I was outed. (Link to All-Star pre-game warm-up) Up until then, I hadn't realized how much support and acceptance there was among players, and that open, visible on-ice support was a turning point for me. I know it was for others too. The argument put forward by Commissioner Bettman and others that players are encouraged to "express themselves off the ice" is bullshit. Our platform comes from what we do on the ice, and on the ice is where we can best express our support for members of the LGBTQ+ community. The tape we use doesn't affect how we play hockey, but it can mean so much to our fans and younger players questioning whether they have a place in hockey. If the league aims to "keep the focus on the game", why are they choosing to take a stand that they know will be more of a "distraction" than the tape that we and many other players have used without any impact on our performance for the past season and a half?
We understand that not all players support us, and we don't think that any player should be forced to use Pride tape or wear a Pride jersey. That is not what we are arguing for - we are arguing for our right to show our support.
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@noots-fic-fests I will forever apologize for the back to back postings 😅 I'm sorry
I took a different route with this one, but it's short and sweet 🥺
Sirius was nervous, to say the least. With being engaged came the flood of thoughts about the rest of forever with Remus. He wasn’t nervous about the Remus part of the equation; Remus was the calm in the storm part of the equation. The one thing he could account for.
What he was nervous about was himself. He’d never been in a relationship so long and despite so much being so easy with Remus since they had been together, he was nervous about hitting a dead end. What if they got sick of each other, what if Remus got sick of him? What if things got boring or predictable?
These were the thoughts twirling around in his mind that kept him up, and he shared these fears into the pitch black of their room late one night, curled up in Remus’ arms.
“Well I’d never get sick of you. And predictable can be good, like reliable. We could both use some of that. And boring… you could never be. You find new ways to do the same thing every day; I’m always excited to see what new task you attempt to do while brushing your teeth,” Remus teased.
“Okay well… Just standing there doing nothing seems like a waste of–”
“You’re not doing nothing, you’re brushing your teeth, babe. That’s an activity worth the time it takes.”
“You’re an activity worth the time it takes…”
“Cheeky. Trying to get me into bed with you?”
“Already have you there, put a ring on it and everything to prove it.”
“That you did, that you did.” Remus let a silence fall over them for a few moments before whispering, “We’ll be okay. We’ll work through things together, but I’ll never get tired of you. Tired, yes, of you? Never.”
“Me either. I love you mon loup.”
“I love you too, baby.”
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futurebicon · 1 year
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Literally Dumo
@lumosinlove
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itsaash · 5 months
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unsatisfyingly satisfying part 2: shivers
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Set sometime in the future when our beloved Coops are married and on vacation in Banff :))) prompt and cover art credit to @noots-fic-fests, character credit of Coops to @lumosinlove And shout out to @girlwithcurls96 for helping me and reassuring me about this whole story, and who is the type of friend when you say, "what kind of tattoos should this character have?" comes through with the perfect pinterest board of style inspo to create the OCs of my dreams
“You got the camera baby?” Remus called as he shut the trunk of the white rental car.
“Ouais, et j'ai les collations là.” 
Remus smiled as he translated in his head. Being in Banff National Park, or Parc national Banff as Sirius exclusively called it, with signs and boards and everything in French as well as English, had set Sirius into a firmly French state of mind. Remus was absolutely not complaining, the melodic sounds scratched his brain just right, even if he couldn’t replicate them. He just beeped the car, pocketed the keys, patted his pocket to feel his phone, and caught up to Sirius and took his hand as they walked across the parking lot. 
It was early in the morning, the gondola would be just starting up. They planned their visits to touristy places for the least busy time of day. A good half hour had been spent signing autographs at the Calgary airport when they arrived a few days ago. Canadians knew their hockey players, especially ones who would certainly be on the next Canadian Olympic hockey team. Neither of them minded , per se, but also if they could blend in, well they’d rather prefer that option. 
Typical outdoorsy MEC outfits like every other tourist were their outfits, with a pretty generic blue ball cap for Sirius, and Remus had chosen a fashionable flat brim hat after Sirius had gone silent and staring when Remus had tried it on in the store.  While any claim they had to disguise was low, their main hope was that most of the people who rode a gondola on a Thursday morning wouldn’t also be hockey fans. Banff had been great so far, busy streets of tourists to blend into while eating elephant ears, a hike yesterday to lakes the most fucking amazing color of turquoise where everyone nodded their head and said hello as they passed on the trail, and today they were heading up the gondola. It was a warm July day and Remus knew heat would start to gather soon, but it felt so fresh here in the mountains, always a breeze, really it was nearly idyllic. Even here, in a busy parking lot, dozens of cars already and pavement for hundreds of meters, it still somehow felt rustic. That was the influence of the towering rough mountains he supposed. They were everywhere here, he had never been in the mountains like this. He squeezed Sirius’ hand as they walked, his head turning to take it all in. 
“The view doesn’t get old, eh,” Sirius laughed as he took in Remus’ wide eyes. 
“Literally never. There’s just mountains everywhere .”
“And here we go, up another one,” Sirius said. 
“Can’t wait,” Remus said, squeezing Sirius’ hand with excitement again, taking in the grey of Sirius’ eyes and comparing it to the grey of the mountains. The mountains were undeniably majestic, but that blue grey gaze was still his overall first place favourite.
Remus scanned the tickets on his phone for the agent with the usual “bonjour, hello” passed between them and joined the small line of people waiting to board the gondolas. They wound through the roped off area, back and forth across the loading area as the line moved, reading the information placards as they went. Remus challenged himself to read the French versions and asked Sirius for help with some words, just to hear him say them, to see Sirius’ eyes smile when he heard Remus say the words back as best he could. They passed the time in the line quickly like this, passing words in French back and forth to each other quietly, almost like bubbles of love being traded between them, like emotional kisses, like whatever the sounds are that are in my mouth, they always mean I love you. 
Remus vaguely knew from the corners of his attention that the people who worked for the Park were working with the line, fitting groups together into gondolas in the most space efficient way, calling for single riders to come join groups of 3, putting two couples together, keeping kids with their parents. There was a large family ahead of them and Sirius and Remus had been half-hearing conversations about snacks and who would sit by who and where’s my water bottle and dad, what if we see a bear ?? So when the attendant called, ‘next group of two? Un groupe de deux?’ looks travelled down the family and passed like dominos to Sirius and Remus. 
“On est deux,” Sirius said, knowing everyone who worked for the Park spoke at least some French, and he was loving using it at every opportunity.
“Allez, on y va,” the attendant said, waving them over. Sirius and Remus kept their hands clasped as they snuck past the big family, Remus murmured an, “ope, sorry,” as they made their way to the front of the line. They boarded the open gondola, sitting down on one side together as the doors slid closed and the gondola started moving.
Remus was just starting to look out the floor to ceiling window, seeing the expanse of nature below them, all around them once they were past the loading area of the building, when he heard,
“Sirius Black?? ”
Oh shit. They were on a gondola with a fan. Well, hopefully a fan, god, imagine if it was someone who wanted to lecture them for the whole 8 minute ride. Sirius would give them his stony cold game face, and inevitably the person would back down, but it would be so awkward.
But Sirius hadn’t said anything. He was just staring, mouth slightly open. Time passed in frozen silence, enough time that Remus darted his eyes back and forth, from Sirius’ frozen form, to the two girls sitting across from them. One had a ball cap on with a dark ponytail floating out the back of it and her tank top showed clearly well developed biceps and deltoids, hiking shorts and shoes. She  was nearly as slack jawed as Sirius. The other girl was much more fashionable, in pants that were somehow loose but still fitted, and a cropped shirt (sports bra? what did Remus know about women’s fashion), clean white runners, long curly blond hair pulled into a messy half bun. It was still Banff and hiking appropriate except everything about her outfit and hair seemed to be on purpose in a way that none of the rest of them could claim. She seemed to be trying to read the situation as much as Remus was, and after long seconds she was the one to break the silence. 
“Rebecca? You know him?” 
The other girl, Rebecca? Almost literally shook herself out of her surprise and laughed, a smile coming over her face. 
“Oh my god, what are the fucking chances? Yeah, well, I mean, Sirius and I, well, yeah, we’ve met.”
Remus felt his eyebrows raise at her faltering tone and he looked to Sirius who didn’t seem ready to say words of any language yet. So Remus spoke first. 
“Oh, well hello. I’m Remus. It’s nice to meet you,” and he put his hand out to Rebecca to shake. She smiled more, her eyes taking him in and she took his hand. 
“Hi Remus, I’m Rebecca. Nice to meet you. This is my girlfriend Claire,” she said, gesturing at the well dressed girl. “We’re just touring the area, on vacation, I guess you must be too. It is the offseason I guess? I can’t believe we’re on the same gondola as you, what even is this.”
Remus felt himself relax, girlfriend, ok so they weren’t in for an 8 minute lecture. That was something at least. He turned to Claire and shook her hand too. His eyes travelled up and down her tattooed arms, all thin lines and curling shapes. He especially noticed a beautiful one of a star surrounded by a circle on the inside of her elbow, but the whole thing was made of flowers and vines in light colours.
“Nice to meet you too Claire. Are y’all hockey fans then?” he asked, glancing repeatedly at Sirius, who was still seemingly frozen. He pressed his palm against Sirius’ thigh, hoping to ground him with touch. Feeling more than a little bit like he needed that too.
Claire laughed, a high, bright sound. 
“No, I can’t say I am. Is that how you know him, sweetheart?” Claire asked her girlfriend. 
“I, um, well yeah, kind of. We met at a media weekend where they were doing stories on a bunch of athletes for a magazine,” Rebecca explained, her gaze bounced between Sirius, Remus, her girlfriend, back to Sirius.
Remus nodded. Well that made sense. What didn’t make sense was that Sirius hadn’t said a single fucking word. He turned toward him, angling his body towards his husband so he could mouth as much as say, ‘ça va, baby?’ 
Sirius started bobbing his head. Remus saw him take two purposeful breaths, close his eyes for a long moment, and then open them again with his media smile on.
“Désolé, sorry, sorry Rebeccca. You just surprised me,” he took off his hat, ran his hands through his hair and replaced the hat. “Wow, yeah, it’s good to see you. Like you said, what are the chances?” 
“What media thing was it that you did?” Remus asked lightly, hoping to soften whatever the fuck this atmosphere was. 
“That one in New York that Pots and I went to? During your third season with the team, I think?” Sirius said. He looked deep into Remus’ eyes and took and squeezed his hand. Remus didn’t know why Sirius needed comfort, but he clearly did. So he scooted as close to Sirius as he could on the bench, held his hand, and tried to send comfort like osmosis. It seemed Sirius may have received the offering because he seemed to relax a degree or two. 
“Rebecca was on the olympic rugby team that got a medal at that olympics a few years ago,” Sirius supplied, gesturing to her. “Or maybe you still play?”
“Yeah, I do actually!” she replied. “I’m not a starter anymore, but I still have one more Olympics in me. The team has been doing so awesome, it’s been such an sweet ride.”
“Oh wow, that's amazing!” Remus said, meaning it, and hoping to take the conversation in safer territory. “Are you on a break from training right now? Being a tourist for a bit?”
“Yeah! It’s so beautiful out here. And it’s nice to have time to take in the sights. We travel for matches all the time, but it’s never very long in one place. We played a match near here last season, and it was so beautiful I knew I needed to bring Claire back here.” She smiled at her girlfriend and took her hand. 
“So you’re a hockey player?” Claire asked Sirius. He smiled a small smile and nodded, maybe started to say more while gripping Remus’ hand, but Claire continued, “that’s nice, but you two obviously slept together, right?” she said, gesturing between Rebecca and Sirius.
Rebecca just laughed, Sirius’ mouth dropped open, and Remus startled like he’d been shocked.
“That’s what this weird vibe is?!” he asked Sirius, half laughing, half horrified. “Oh my god, well, I get it now.”
Sirius dropped his head into both his hands, shaking his head, and then his shoulders were shaking, until his whole body was quivering with laughter. 
“Mon dieu, sorry, Rebecca… Re, I’m sorry.” Laughter bubbled out of him.  “I don’t know why I locked up, I got thrown back in time there for a minute, in my head. I’m ok now, sorry. Rebecca, it really is good to see you, I just was so surprised.”
Remus just shook his head. He’d be pretty shocked in the same situation too. The air already felt clearer, Sirius’ laughter had dissipated most of the awkwardness. 
“So you’re bi too then?” Rebecca asked. “Or pan maybe? I saw you two in the news of course, oh god I didn’t mean to bring that up, I just mean, obviously you’re married now! Congratulations,” she seemed to force herself to stop talking and Remus laughed. 
“Yeah, we got married last summer, it was amazing.”
Sirius smiled at him, the smile they always had when they thought about the lake house and their friends and family and the perfect haze of happy memories that surrounded that day. Sirius took a deep breath and turned to Rebecca.
“Yeah! But, um, no. Uh, I’m actually gay. That’s probably why I froze up there for a minute. But if you’re queer too that makes me feel a lot better, I think I panicked for a second that there would be flirting? Sorry, sorry.” he said, looking back and forth between both Rebecca and Claire.
Claire laughed, “Oh there could still be flirting, I’m afraid. You’re just her type in guys. I’m gay too, but my sweetheart here had a later in life bi awakening, much to my benefit.” She got closer and closer to Rebecca’s neck as she said this, and ended with a soft kiss to her jaw. Rebecca smiled a soft smile at her girlfriend, but then turned to Sirius, more serious. 
“Wow, so, um, that night must have been hard for you then? I feel like I should apologise. I think I kissed you first that night.”
Sirius shrugged his shoulders like his shirt was too tight, and Remus studied his reaction, taking his hand in both of his now, and drew circles in Sirius’ palm with his thumb. Sirius rubbed the back of his head with his other hand before answering. 
“No, please don’t apologise. You couldn’t know, I didn’t know. Well I knew, but I didn’t know . It’s not like you were the only girl I was with. I thought I just had to meet the right girl. And actually you helped with that, because you were so amazing. Beautiful, and fun to be around, and athletic and funny. And it was still… fine.” Rebecca laughed and faked hitting her heart with her fist like a stab. “No, I don’t mean it was bad! It was fine! Shit I keep saying fine… it was…” Sirius trailed off, looking to Remus, clearly now developing an aversion to the word fine. 
“Sirius, Sirius, it’s ok. I get it. The comphet comes for us all, doesn’t it?” Rebecca said. She started off half laughing, but her voice was full of authenticity by the end of her sentence. 
Remus kept running his thumb over Sirius’ palm in soothing circles, and Claire lifted her arm up to trace the edge of the window, and then put it around Rebecca’s shoulders, hugging her close. 
In the moment of silence that followed, the gondola slowly swung to stop. They all looked around, looking down at the magnificent view really for the first time since they got on the thing. 
“Huh, they must be stopping it to help someone on or off, I guess,” Remus said. A shiver had come over him as they swung to a stop, but it passed. The others nodded in acknowledgment as they swayed gently. 
“You were my last,” Sirius said into the silence. “My last time with … with a woman.” Remus raised his eyebrows at Sirius. “Well, I kissed other girls after that, only in public, but I knew after that night with you that I wanted to be with guys. Even if I didn’t let myself actually do that for a long time yet, at least I knew.” He paused. “Sorry,” he said again.
Rebecca laughed. “Honestly Black, it really is ok, stop apologising. I’m a little surprised, for sure, because for me it was really good. Like, really good. Like I-never-found-a-guy-as-good-again good, despite giving it an honest try. Had to fully just move onto women, good. So I might be questioning my perception of reality a little bit over here, but you don’t have anything to apologise for.” 
Remus was processing, hardly believing the turn this gondola ride had taken, but had to smile at that.
“He is pretty good, isn’t he?” Remus said, gazing up at Sirius with mischief in his eyes. “From our very first time, he knew what he was doing. Fuckin knocked my socks off,” Remus laughed. Rebecca joined him and Sirius buried his head in his hands again.
“Right?! His hands –”
“God, tell me about it. And his back?”
“Divine,” Rebecca sighed, tone half teasing and half serious. “And just his size, you know, when he’s on top, fully covering you?”
Remus faked a swoon, back of his hand to his forehead. “It’s amazing. Might be my favourite place in the world to be.” Sirius sat up and smacked Remus’ shoulder. “Re! Stop it,” he laughed.
“Did you get to experience his mouth?” Remus asked, leaning forwards to Rebecca. “Or how his eyes get so intense it’s like they glow?”
“Remus!”
Rebecca sighed dramatically. “I didn’t experience his mouth unfortunately. And I think he must be the only man in history to have turned down a blow job! It was mostly hands and some lovely dirty talk and … well, you know.”
“Oh the French dirty talk,'' Remus fawned, fanning himself with his hand, smiling evilly at Sirius. “It’s so hot.”
Rebecca faked a dramatic gasp. “Is this why you wanted me on my hands and knees??” she asked, gesturing dramatically to Remus. “So you could pretend I was him!?” The words might be accusatory, but the tone was pure glee. “Did you know him then?” she asked Remus. 
Sirius moaned into his hands and ground out what might have sounded like kill me now. 
“I just knew him as the hockey obsessed, tough as nails, never an emotion to be seen hockey captain back then. And I saw him make out with multiple girls at bars after that, so he clearly wasn’t ready for me yet back then,” Remus teased. 
Claire and Rebecca both nodded. “We all have to make our journeys of self discovery in our own time, don’t we,” Claire said. 
“That we do,” Remus said, letting the last of his laughter bubble out of him. They all took in a minute of happy silence, admiring the view. Even Sirius cautiously poked an eye out of the safety of his hands and looked past Remus to see towering snow capped mountains which they were almost eye level with up this high, this ground was really quite far away. Deep green trees transitioned into bright green grass in places, the buildings of the town looked like dots from here, and the fluffy white clouds seemed much closer than he had ever experienced before. 
The peace of the mountains seemed to sweep into the softly swinging gondola and Rebecca turned back to Sirius, still snuggled into Claire’s side. 
“I am sorry though, that society or whatever made you think you had to sleep with me. I’m sorry if I played a part in that,” she said. 
Sirius wasn’t frozen like the snow tipped mountains now, he tried to let his words flow like the breeze instead.
“I appreciate that, Rebecca, I do. But I could’ve said no, and I knew that. I went upstairs with you because I thought I should want to, but I was so deep in the shoulds, that in a roundabout way I did want to. And I’m honestly so glad you thought it was good, that’s like all I cared about.” “I never would’ve known you weren’t into it Sirius, really, it was good.” Sirius rolled his head on his neck, looking sheepish but happy. 
“It’s not that I didn’t think it was good. It did feel good, you’re amazing. I just was also really busy, in my mind. My thoughts were just going in bad circles with pressure and doing the right thing and what you might tell your friends and what I’d tell my teammates … so of course it was harder for me to just enjoy it. But like I said, you were the last time I did that, so I’m also really thankful for that, and for you. If you couldn’t be the right one, I knew there was no point in trying anymore.” He switched his gaze to Remus and his grin turned dopey, “until this one told me he was gay, and that I’d be worth it.”
Remus squeezed his hand. “You are worth it. Every day.” 
“If I may,” Claire said, “it sounds to me like you’re both right. You’re right, my love, to feel a bit weird about learning the guy you slept with doesn’t actually like sleeping with women. But it’s also ok that you still enjoyed it, because you’re always allowed to have your own version of a situation, based solely on your own experience of it. And he was actively trying to have you enjoy it, for different reasons than you thought. There’s no way you could have known his every inner thought.” Rebecca smiled and rested her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. 
“And you Sirius,” she continued, “it could be interpreted as misleading to have gone upstairs with her, but Rebecca and I, as women who love women, know the strength and seeping nature of comphet, as I’m sure you do too, as a man in a traditional masculine field. It gets into your bones and bosses you around and ties your thoughts up in knots. I’m really glad you freed yourself from expectations to let yourself live. I can tell the two of you are really good together,” she smiled. 
Remus nodded his head along with her and kept drawing calming circles with his thumb around Sirius’ palm. 
“Merci, Claire,” Sirius smiled, “and for what it’s worth, Rebecca, I’m sorry for putting you in that situation.”
“Forgiven, Sirius Black. And thank you for ruining me for other men, so that I could find this goddess,” she leaned up to kiss Claire on the lips, deep and sensual. Sirius thought that looked like a really great idea, and leaned in to Remus. 
“Ça va bien, baby?” Remus repeated, their lips close, breathing each other in and out. He had been pressed up against Sirius’ side this whole conversation, clutching his hand. And now they blocked out the mountains, the uncomfortable seat, the shining sun, and only focused in on each other. 
“Oui. Je vais bien. Etonné. But … also good. Glad to have you, like always.”
“I’ll never be anywhere else, mon mari,” Remus murmured as he leaned in to kiss Sirius. Lost in their kiss, they didn’t notice that Rebecca and Claire were watching them with soft smiles on their faces, Rebecca’s head still against Claire’s shoulder. Claire twirled her hand around and then threaded her fingers through Rebecca’s ponytail, smiling. 
The gondola started moving again, startling Sirius and Remus apart with a smile. They squeezed each other’s hands with a shiver, they both had goosebumps from a brief chill. They all rode the last few minutes how they all had thought their whole ride would go. They pointed out the tallest trees, saw shapes in the clouds, basked in the chance to be so high up and see the world from such a different perspective. Funny how that makes a difference for so many things. 
They all saw the loading area approach, and stayed quiet while they slowed to a stop and the doors opened. They filed out into the visitors center. When they rounded the corner and were away from most other people, Rebecca folded herself into Sirius for a hug, squeezing him, her cheek pressed into his chest. He rested the side of his head against her and held her for a long moment. 
“Despite the shock, it really was good to see you, Sirius. And super good to get to clear the air with you about our night together. I, selfishly, hope you don’t regret it, but it’s ok if you do. I’m still happy to know you. Maybe you can actually text me back now that there’s no big secret swirling over you, eh?” she swatted him in the stomach at the last, and he dodged with an oof and a laugh. 
“Rebecca, honestly, I’m really glad to have run into you like this. Sorry if I was weird. I don’t regret it, how can I, when it was a stop on the path to me finding my husband?”
Rebecca turned and gave Remus a hug too. “Sorry for having your husband before you,” she teased. Remus huffed a laugh, and hugged her back. 
“Good to meet you Rebecca. I’ll forgive you, I suppose .” he joked. “Since I’m the one he’s going home with, I can’t complain.”
“Nope, you have absolutely nothing to complain about, I would know,” Rebecca teased as she took Claire’s hand again. “And I have this goddess now anyways. Bye, guys, take care!” she said as they started to turn away down the boardwalk.
“Enjoy your vacation!” Claire said with a wave, and Remus and Sirius waved as well, standing with their arms around each other’s backs. When they were a good way down the boardwalk Sirius turned and collapsed into Remus’ arms. They stood there amidst the beauty of the mountains. Tourists walked past and around them, taking pictures. They stood long enough for clouds to form and reform shapes, until Sirius could huff out a laugh. “What the actual fuck are the chances.”
“Of you stepping into a 6 foot square enclosed space with the last woman you had sex with? Really, really, really low I’d imagine. Even if we changed the odds to include all the women in general who have seen you naked, the number still has to be…” Remus trailed off as Sirius stood up and pushed him away, grumbling and laughing. 
“Stop teasing me, mon loup, this was traumatising ,” Sirius pouted. 
“Oh baby, I know, I know, come here,” Remus laughed, and gathered Sirius in tight for one more hug. “Let’s look around? And then we can walk down? So we don’t accidentally get trapped with the next least likely person in the fucking world? I can’t quite imagine who that could be at this point, but we’re probably safer on a hiking trail.”
“Let’s get trapped with your college boyfriend, and I’ll make comments about your mouth, tabarnak , that was embarrassing,” Sirius laughed under his breath as he turned to take in the view. 
“I was trying to cut the tension!”
“I’ll cut your tension,” Sirius muttered back.
“Can’t wait, baby,” Remus said with a suggestive eyebrow waggle. Sirius rolled his eyes, and then they did enjoy the view, thoroughly. And they took the hiking trail back down the mountain. 
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noots-fic-fests · 8 months
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Since Finn had his birthday... I say it's safe to start prepping for Halloween!
Behold: the 2023 Fic-O-Ween prompt list! (created this year by the lovely @arrowofcarnations!)
You have more than 2 months to write, draw, or otherwise create for the fest as we start posting and reblogging on October 19. There will be a 30 day reminder post on September 19 and a week before the start date, so fret not!
The daily prompt cards will be uploaded soon-- you're encouraged to use them as the "cover photo" at the top of each day's post.
More instructions to come!
Happy Spooky Season!!
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whataboutmyfries · 1 year
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✩THE BEDTIME STORY PROJECT✩
Noot Special!
Hello hello hello! Welcome to a very special edition of the Bedtime story project!!! this could be read a love letter to all my beloved noot friends (it absolutely is btw) but also as a collection of some truly incredible fics by some equally incredible people. For those of you seeing this for the first time, this is not-quite regular post wherein i rec shorter, usually fluffy, fics in the hopes that you too find something to make your bedtime that little bit sweeter!
~
Oknutzy
✩Suburbia by @fruitcoops (T: rated by me)
Starting off so so so strong with Eve's wonderful writing. This fic feels like a big hug and I love it to bits oh gosh <333 Anyone that knows sweater weather knows Eve is an absolute GOD in this fandom and the fact that I get to interact with her on the daily and call her my friend still feels a wee bit like a fever dream. she's out here writing utter magic like countermoves and Land of light both of which have me climbing the walls and chewing at the floorboards cause holy SHIT (whoops, back to the fic) I'm not going to lie, it was so hard to pic just a few fics to rec, but I went with the one I'd read this week for the wee oneshot because oh GOSH it is so somft and lovely and adorable, i love it.
✩Frosted windowpanes by @heyitssmiller (G | 13.8K)
Piercing, bitter cold greeted Logan as he stepped outside for the first time that day. The kind of cold that made the entire body tense up and the breath hitch. It was a quiet early morning, with a stillness that only freshly-fallen snow could bring. Logan took a second to pull his toque further down over his head as he grabbed the chainsaw by the door before heading out to the truck, passing the sign with red, clean lettering that read Tremblay’s Christmas Trees.
Now anyone that's been on this blog for a while knows just how much I ADORE mills and her writing (hello my lovely E-fiancee!!) And this FIC oh GOSH!!!! Frosted wondowpanes recently had its two year anniversary (!!!) which is when it was published on Ao3. I won't lie, this au still lives in my head RENT FREE along with clandestine and also Rendezvous with destiny (both of which I am definitely NOT reccing in this list no sir, not AT ALL nuh uh please dont have the links to them (they're on the names) and also whatever you do DONT go and yell in milo's comments about how MAGNIFICENT her writing is, no sir, definitely not suggesting that) Because of just how adorable it is, so much blushy flirting and idiots in love, 100/10
✩Leo's plant corner by @we-are-swearwolves (G)
Finn/Leo/Logan: plants and domesticity and social media mishaps 
Oh lord, oh jesus. Anyone that's ever interacted with me for any amount of time on the SW discord know I am absolutely FERAL for Em's writing. This is one of her shorter fics but you should absolutely definitely decidedly NOT go read her other works which I am NOT rec-ing because they definitely did NOT make me cry sob eat my heart out and feel shrimp emotions like Québécois and also "Smile, Soleil." nuh uh, not at ALL ;)
✩I've got my love to keep me warm by @arrowofcarnations (M | 1.7K)
Okay so, most people know Kim as the incredible author behind the fandom classic Inked but oh my GOSH the way kim writes makes me so EMOSH it is unreal, her characters are so fleshed out and tangible and so so gorgeous and also i get to watch her to her magic word thing on the discord??? like hello??? little old me witness to this absolute SORCERY??? genuinely insane, i adore it so much. Alsooooo cute little fun fact: Kim and Em worked together to write the masterpiece that absolutely BROKE me Like Real People Do just flipping INCREDIBLE. absolutely showstopping. I love Kim and her writing so so much.
✩Regency AU by @peggyrose19 (E: rated by me)
oh my god oh my god oh my GOD. Audrey's writing is so fucking *chef's kiss* and watching this magic story come to life in the SW discord was an absolute DELIGHT. utterly filthy, completely delightful and wonderful in every single way. Of course, Auds is also our local St.Tweedle whisperer with fics like this one and also hold me closer. oh my GOD audrey's brain is so so big, i honestly have no idea how she comes up with all these incredible aus and fic ideas, such a cool human i love her &lt;3
Coops/ wolfstar
✩Christmas is home by ithilielthechosenone (T | 1.5K)
Remus gives him a mock shove with a shake of his head. “You are hopeless.” No, Sirius thinks. I was. I thought I had to be. I wrestled it down until I myself could no longer see it. You took my hand and gave it back to me. You all did. My hope lives within each and every smile of yours.
- Sirius and Remus enjoy the snow
Oh good gosh, oh jesus, oh boy, it's Ami's writing, my KRYPTONITE. The way Ami writes is like music. there's no other way I can think of to describe it. It flows so beautifully and the way her writing reads like lyrical prose and poetic storytelling has me weak in the knees EVERY single time. This fic was part of the SW discord winter fic exchange and it had me looking at my phone like 🥺🥰the whole time. Ami's writing is just INCREDIBLE and she blows me away with the way she words everytime she blesses us with her writing :)
✩First Burn by @fruitcoops
Okay folks, we've already established how much I ADORE Eve's writing but also oh my GOD I just had to bring up this au, which left me completely shooketh right from the moment the idea came up in the discord to the finished product of Eve's wonderful fic. I LOVE it so so much and I still reread it on a semi regular basis (but shhhh) bottom line, everyone needs to read this.
✩Washcloths and Wishes (A Sweater Weather Fanfic) by @veryspacecowboy (E | 1K)
oh goodness M's writing (and M themself) Is so flipping wonderful and this was one of her first fic's I've ever read (I think it might've actually been their first published fic I read) the way she writes is so flipping incredible and the way they weave all the character's stories together is so magical to witness, and to watch them do this wizardry on the discord (parkouring through allll the threads, so many of which are her brainchild because M is big brain and they are so so cool) has me making heart eyes at my phone/laptop. This fic is somft and also hot (which they are a MASTER at, the duality of M(tm)) and every SW fan HAS to read it, I promise you'll love it.
✩Sirius gets Re to communicate by the wonderful @tetedump/@arewelonely
LAUREL WRITING LAUREL WRITING OH MY LORDY. Laurel is such an incredible human oh my gosh my HEART!!! we haven't spoken very much but she's such a bright, kind, and comforting presence on the discord and I always have a little !!! moment when I see her in my notifications :')) This fic oh my GOSH this fic is EXACTLY what it says on the bottle, Sirius gets Re to communicate because he's a sexi sexi gentleman (Laurel's world not mine) She's such a lovely, caring human and honestly, you can really see that come through in her writing and it makes me so so 🥺🥹 I adore every single inch of it &lt;3
✩Neon moon podfic, written by @fruitcoops and read by @itsaash
So we all know that Ash is our resident podcast GOD, who's read and orchestrated the wonderful Sweater weather podfic along with a bunch of other noots (which everyone collectively lost their minds over) and also the podfic of the system which was originally written by @heyitssmiller (ahahahah triple noot whammy hehehe) but oh my GOSH Ash is so so cool, and such a delightful person to talk to and interact with, I adore her to bits, she's always so nice and kind whenever you interact with her and she's so wonderful about raising peeps up with her podfics, it makes me very very 🥺🥰
~
Thank you so so much to the lovely noots for putting all their wonderful works out there into the world and letting me rec their works in this silly little list :) I love you all so so so much, and AHHHH thank you so much!  Thank you, lovely reader for going through my first ever reclist! feel free to come yell about these lovely works with/at me, and you can send in your recs on the comments of this post, or my inbox!
Happy reading!
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lumosinlove · 21 days
Text
Vaincre
June part iv
I’ll tell you the truth
But never goodbye
Remus thought about practice and all the sounds he wouldn’t be hearing again for a couple of months now. A din he desperately hoped would come again in the Fall.
The quiet bustle of the boys arriving. Yawns and some early morning groans. Bags being tossed down into stalls. Velcro and stick tape. The skate sharpener across the hall. The shivery sound of a bucket of pucks being scattered onto the ice. The slap of pucks and bodies on the boards rebounding in a high-roofed, empty rink. The ping of the goalposts. Bursts of laughter between drills. Showers stuttering into a hard, hot spray and the echo of voices off of tiles.
He wanted it all again. The crowds and video tape sessions. The signings and the chance to meet fans. The wins—even the losses. Even the press conferences. He wanted to see his best friends every day. He wanted to win.
They didn’t have a destination, but neither Remus nor Sirius tried to change that. They walked through the New York streets, downtown, where everything felt a little bit like a movie set. Most places were shut tight for the night, but it still felt alive.
Sirius looked handsome in the city lights. In his jeans and t-shirt. More importantly, he looked relaxed. More relaxed than Remus had expected, anyway.
“You’re calm.”
Sirius didn’t look over at him, but a small smile appeared on his face. “Maybe I just look it.”
“Okay, fair.” Remus squeezed their tangled fingers together. “I just meant that you don’t seem…”
“Miserable.”
“Well, sure. That word works.”
“I’m just…” Sirius looked down at him. “Not sure if it’s sunk in yet, maybe. You?”
“No. Not really.”
Sirius squeezed his hand back and Remus felt his engagement ring press into his skin. If anything good came out of this, it was that he would not be taking of his ring any time soon. He caught it glinting in the passing lights.
“New York really never sleeps,” Remus said.
“Neither do we, apparently.”
It was helping more than sleep, though—the walking. It was starving off the soreness they were bound to feel soon. He’d already glimpsed a bad bruise forming near his knee.
“Either way,” Remus said. “I like these walks of ours. It feels different than Gryf.”
“Ouais,” Sirius agreed. “At least we both have rivers.”
The next street they turned onto was not asphalt, but cobblestones. It wound and bent, going against the grid of New York that Remus had become accustomed to. He leaned his head back to look up at the lit apartments above. It might have been two AM, but he could see shadows moving around, or the colorful flickers of televisions.
“Did you talk to Logan?” he asked.
“Non, not really. I mean, on the ice I did. But I don’t know. I wanted to get out of there.”
“Yeah.” Remus sighed. He fought the urge to start talking about the game. Part of him wanted to know each and every single one of Sirius’ thoughts. The hit in the second. The odd, sloppy breakaway in the third. That last buzzer attempt.
“You want to talk about it don’t you,” Sirius said.
Remus laughed, then groaned, hiding it in Sirius’ shoulder. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
It was something special, to have someone who could read his mind. He closed his eyes, inhaling Sirius’ familiar scent and trusting him to guide him on the street. Sirius’ hand disappeared from his and wrapped around his waist instead. A kiss was pressed to Remus’ temple.
“Curb,” Sirius said softly, and Remus stepped down to cross the street then opened his eyes.
“Magnetic,” Remus said. “Do you remember them calling us that?”
“No one needed to remind me.”
Remus tightened his arms around Sirius’ hips and pressed a kiss over his shirt. “I know. I was just remembering.”
Their passes had connected so thoroughly this series. So well. It was awful, almost mean that the passes that stuck in their minds the most were the ones that had missed. 
“How about we keep remembering…” Sirius began. “But how about we do it with fries and milkshakes.”
Remus looked up. The idea made his mouth water. “Yes. What made you say that?”
Sirius just smiled and jerked his chin forward. “Là.”
There was a diner on the corner. Many of the booths in the window were filled—Other people in search of late-night snacks. The neon sign out front read 24 HOURS and Remus could see a group of girls with milkshakes and a basket of fries in front of them.
He reached up to wrap his arms around Sirius’ neck and pressed a hard kiss to his cheek. “Love of my fucking life.”
He felt Sirius smile. Sirius reached for his hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing his ring. “Ouais, it’s true.”
He held the door open for Remus.
They were shuffled into a leather, worn booth and given giant seemingly endless menus. Remus found that he could hardly sit still. He kept laughing to himself. At one point, when Sirius gave him an amused, dazed look, he’d had to cover his mouth.
“You’re wild on adrenaline,” Sirius laughed.
Remus wondered if that was it. If adrenaline was what this was. These weird, surprising tight bursts of joy bubbling over in his chest. Surely he should be feeling low. He had just lost part of his childhood dream yet again.
Was adrenaline fueling the smile Sirius gave him when their two chocolate milkshakes and order of fries arrived? Did adrenaline cause Sirius to skeptically watch him dip a fry into the thick chocolate? Did it make them both laugh when Sirius tried it, made a face, and quickly switched back to ketchup?
Or maybe something had changed.
“You know, I always wanted to talk about games with you,” Remus said.
“Always?”
“You know. Before.” Remus brought the straw of his milkshake between his teeth. “I always wondered what you were thinking. Even when you were mean to me.”
Sirius groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Arrêt.”
Remus reached across the table and tried to pull his hands away. “I did! Sirius, don’t hide, come here.” He laughed when Sirius wouldn’t. “Sirius.”
Sirius let out an exaggerated sigh and pushed himself up from his side of the booth, only to slide into Remus’, arm along the back behind him and tight against his side.
“Wh…” Remus began.
Sirius leaned forward and stole the fry from Remus’ fingers with a short tug of his teeth. “You said come here.”
“That was my fry.”
“Too late.”
“Meanie.”
Sirius just made the sound that Remus associated with both him and Logan—a very Quebecois sort of tisk of disapproval (in Logan’s part, mostly jokingly aimed at Finn). Sirius’ arm slid from the booth to Remus’ shoulders and he kissed him. Remus tilted his chin up into it and let himself relax.
“Chocolate and potatoes?” Sirius asked as he dipped to kiss Remus’ jaw. “Really?”
“Sweet and salty,” Remus replied, trying not to let his eyes slip closed. They were in a diner.
“Weirdo.”
Remus hissed at a playful nip to his neck and Sirius pulled back. Sirius dragged his milkshake over to their side of the table and took a long sip. Remus could tell he was thinking. Remus had always been able to tell when he was thinking. Even when he hadn’t been able to figure out anything else about Sirius.
“Tell me,” Remus said.
“I wish I hadn’t broken that stick,” Sirius said quietly. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. “Re…”
“I know,” Remus said. “I know.”
Sirius let out a frustrated sound and rubbed at his eyes. “Merde…I don’t know what gets into me. Well, I do…”
They had both been expecting them, but as the clouds of loss edged back into their peripheral vision, Remus sighed. Sirius tightened his arm around Remus and tilted their heads together. Remus closed his eyes as they took each other’s weight.
“Julian said it best,” Sirius said. “I wanted this for you.”
“And you.”
Sirius pressed his lips together. “I—yes.”
Remus arched a brow, confused by the conflicted look on Sirius’ face. “What, what’s that look?”
Sirius sighed. He smiled, just a little. A bewildered sort of smile. He hooked his fingers into the plastic fry basket mindlessly, the greasy paper crinkling at his touch. His eyes went a little unfocused as he thought. Their blue-gray looked so fair in the diner’s light. “I keep wondering why I’m not as upset as I usually would be. I keep trying to, like…” He moved his free hand outward in a small sharp motion, palm forward. “Push myself towards being that upset. Which is insane. Why do I feel guilty for feeling slightly okay about this?”
“I…” Remus nodded slowly. “I get that. I do. Hey, but that’s good. It’s good you feel okay, you wouldn’t have been okay other years. That’s why I said you seem so calm I’m…I’m fucking proud of you for it.”
“Ouais. I guess…” His expression turned almost shy. “I guess me too.”
That made Remus smile.
“What I mean is…I’m gutted.” Sirius picked up a fry. “I want to throw something, I want a do-over…I want to be angry at Logan.” He tossed the fry back, turning to look at Remus. “But the thing that I keep thinking about isn’t the game. Isn’t the Cup. It’s you.”
Remus’ smile faltered. He looked down. “Yeah? Well… you keep catching yourself feeling guilty?” Sirius nodded. “Well, I keep catching myself thinking that this was it. That I’m finished.”
“You’re not. Re.” Sirius’ hand cupped his shoulder and Remus turned his head to look down at it. He could have drawn his scar in perfect alignment even while not being able to see it. Sirius’ fingers, over his shirt, traced it perfectly, too. He watched Sirius do it once, then twice. It was so much apart of him that even Sirius could map it into his skin.
“Loops.”
“You almost never call me that anymore.”
“Well, right now you’re my teammate as much as everything else and I’m telling you you’re going to get there.”
Remus smiled. He felt the waver in it and so did Sirius. “Telling me as my Captain?”
“As your Captain,” Sirius confirmed. His fingers traced the scar again. “As your friend and teammate who watched you…watched you take every part of your life back from Fenrir.”
Remus surprised himself with a laugh and tears springing to his eyes. “Fuck. I did, didn’t I?”
“Ouais.” Sirius kissed a tear away. “You fucking did.”
“Oh my God,” Remus whispered as the tears pressed harder at him. He tucked his face into Sirius’ neck and Sirius wrapped him up tight. His voice was warm and familiar in his ear.
“I’m telling you as all those things, and I’m telling you as someone who loves you more than anything. Ever.” Sirius’ hand spanned his back, rubbing gently. “D’accord. I think that was most of my English for tonight.”
Remus laughed tearfully again, and then let out a quiet sob, shoulders hitching. “I don’t know if I’m crying because I’m sad or relieved or what.”
“I don’t know either,” Sirius said. His voice held a teasing note. “But our waitress looks like she’s going to bring us free pie.”
Their next laughs were realer, and Remus pulled back. Sirius made a soft sound and thumbed away the tear tracks on Remus’ cheeks. Sirius still looked tired. The strain of the game was still there, but there was a happy, weightless flush to his cheeks that Remus had never seen before.
Sirius dipped a fry in his chocolate shake and held it out to Remus. “Sweet and salty night.”
Remus let Sirius feed him the chocolatey fry. Sirius dipped his own in ketchup and popped it into his mouth. Remus looked over his familiar profile. He’d seen it in shadows and bright lights…he would see him soon in the lake house’s sunset.
“Next year, mon loup,” Sirius said. “You and me. It’s not the end.”
Remus nodded and let Sirius tuck him back under his arm. “You and me.”
~
Logan was leaning against the side of the rooftop bar between Luke and Alex, listening to everyone swap stories and enjoying the warm wind on his back. It was good to be with Percy and Will again. He was glad now, basking in the New York night, that he hadn’t ruined this year for himself—at least not the entire year. He was glad he could stand here laughing with them about old times. The desperate fog of sadness from his first month still haunted him, but it was easier now. That was all he could hope for.
His rum and coke was sweet, but not as good as it was when Finn made it for him. The chicken wings on the table were spicy, but not as balanced as Leo’s. What had started with promises of a big, wild night had mellowed out quickly. It seemed like the team was content to simply be together, basking in the high of the win. Logan was basking with them. Just a little. Even when part of his heart, part of his mind, part of everything that was him, was at home with Leo and Finn.
It was close to three in the morning and Percy was in full form, joking with him about all the girls trying to get his attention. It was true—their group had been clocked the second they came in.
“I swear that’s the sixth one,” Percy sighed, looking over at the bar. “We’re just stars in your galaxy huh, Tremzy.”
“It’s the eyes. Nothing’s changed since college,” Will added. “Thank God Finn isn’t here.” Will had stayed out with them, which was rare. Usually he went home to his family before long. Logan was happy he was here. He’d always loved how loud his laugh was. It reminded him of Freshman year, hanging out in the kitchen of OKN house with Finn and Percy, watching Will cook the house dinner. He’d been such a good captain. The best, besides Sirius.
“What would happen if Finn was here?” Saint asked. He was standing at Luke’s side. Luke kept stealing sips of his whiskey—and narrowing his eyes playfully when Logan smiled at him.
“He, ah, sort of forgets what flirting is,” Logan explained and Alex nodded, pointing at Logan like it would enhance how true that was.
“I mean, maybe it’s more like he’s too good at it?” Percy offered.
Logan laughed. “He talks to everyone and it’s only when they ask him for his number after like, twenty minutes of talking—”
Alex laughed. “Then he’s like, oh no.”
Logan tried for a Finn accent. “Oh, shoot, sorry, I’m actually…”
Will threw his head back with that wonderful, infectious laugh. “Wait, that’s so dead on.”
Logan smiled. “But it was so so wonderful getting to know you! Those pictures you showed me of your dog—Man, they made my night.”
“All right,” Saint held up a hand. “I get it.”
“Yeah stop, it’s creepy now,” Alex said. “That’s scary good. Maybe better than mine.”
Luke scoffed. “Dude, you can’t have a Finn impression. You are a Finn impression.”
“Whoa, whoa.” Alex held up a hand. “If anything, Finn is an impression of moi.”
Logan smiled. He glanced at his phone. One new message, but from Noelle telling him he was coming to lunch tomorrow. It was late.
“Hey, hey,” Percy said, making Logan look up. “I know that look…Nu-uh. Not yet.”
Logan raised his eyebrows, smiling. “Perc.” He put on the Finn voice again. “C’mon, give me a break.”
Percy shuddered. “Okay, I didn’t mean to open this can of worms. This terrifying can of worms.”
“Perc, he beat his boys out today,” Will said. “If he wants to go home, let him.”
Percy put his hands against his chest. “But I haven’t even gotten to the best part of my day yet!”
“How could we ever guess,” Saint said flatly.
Percy winked at him. “Sebastian…Cassie Baker smiled at me today.”
Logan laughed and finished his drink. “Ouais, I’m out. You can moon over my ex-girlfriend without me.”
Alex finished off his drink, too. “I’m done, too. This was fun, boys.”
Percy spluttered. “What? It is young. The night. The earth—is young!”
“I have two boyfriends in my bed, warm and asleep,” Logan said, pushing up from the wall. “And my bed is usually very cold and very empty. So. This was fun. Goodbye.” He looked over at Luke, knocking him lightly in the shoulder as a way of saying goodnight. Luke jerked his chin in reply.
“Tremzy.” Percy actually pouted. “No, non, no.”
“Ouais, yeah, ouais,” Logan said. Percy grabbed onto his arm and made a show of putting most of his weight on Logan to keep him in place. Logan did nothing to help him and Percy began sliding towards the floor.
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Will dragged Percy back to his feet with a fond shake of his head. “You’re so embarrassing.” he nodded to Alex and Logan. “You two have a good night. Don’t beat yourselves up too hard. It was a good game.”
“Yeah.” Alex sighed but nodded. “It was.” He looked up and called over to the bar. “A round for these guys, Hank!” He tussled Percy’s hair. “My parting gift, Perseus.”
Percy sent them a mournful look, but looked willing enough to accept the drink. “Fine.”
Even Saint cracked a smile.
“That really was a good Finn,” Alex said as Logan followed him down the stairs to the main restaurant and out the door. A breeze picked up on the dark street.
“Merci.” Logan shivered a little in his thin shirt. “Are you calling an Uber?”
Alex sent him an unimpressed look.
Logan sighed. “You’re walking, aren’t you?”
“What do you take me for?”
“Fuck,” Logan said, but followed him.
It was like walking with Finn—Logan didn’t have to think about directions or finding his way around. He knew they lived near each other but would have to split up at some point. Alex would tell him when they did. For now, the air felt good against his skin and the silence was gentle. Sometimes he still felt like he could hear the game in his head.
“Finn asked me once to try and take the shot for you if I could,” Alex said.
Logan wasn’t surprised. Alex touched his elbow briefly to get him to turn left.
“Luke offered me the same,” he said. “It…it is what it is.” But that wasn’t quite right. “Non. It fucking hurts.”
“I know,” Alex said. “I’ve had that with Kasey. You want to apologize when there’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Logan half nodded, half shook his head. “I don’t know. I wish I had gotten to see Le before we left. I thought he needed space. I thought I needed space…I guess we did. I don’t know.”
“Yeah,” Alex said.
“Adrenaline’s wearing off,” Logan said. “I miss him.”
“You’re walking home.”
“I know,” Logan said, eyes down. “But I miss him.”
Alex’s hand appeared on his back, rubbing gently.
“Is Kasey doing okay?” Logan asked.
Alex was quiet for a long time. When Logan looked over, he was frowning down at the ground and fiddling with the small, dark diamond he wore.
“Alex?”
Alex guided him right. The light was red but not a car was in sight. “It’s…really hard for me to tell right now actually.” He stepped up onto a low wall and balanced for a few steps before jumping off again. The temperature had dropped. Logan thought it felt like rain.
“You’re the one who told me to talk to Finn when I was worried about us,” Logan began carefully, and frowned when Alex sort of flinched. “You’re not the type to not take your own advice.”
“I don’t know,” Alex said. “Sometimes I am.”
Logan supposed that was true enough. No one always practiced what they preached. Logan watched their feet as they walked, waiting for Alex to say more. They had fallen into sync. They were quiet for a while again. Alex lead him straight, then left, the straight on again. Logan knocked their shoulders together at one point. Alex knocked back.
“I’m not…worried about us,” Alex said suddenly. “Exactly… I just wonder—I wonder if I’m…” He rubbed a tired hand across his face as they avoided a puddle at a curb. Logan was beginning to think this was about the wedding. He didn’t blame Alex if it was. If Leo and Finn suddenly decided to get married, he’d crawl out of his fucking skin.
“You should tell them,” Logan said softly. He realized he was replying to unsaid things, but if anyone might understand even a sliver of Alex’s situation, it was him.
Alex’s face tightened. “Tell them what?”
Logan thought for a moment. “Whatever you want. Whatever you need to.”
“What I need to?” Alex repeated. “What I need is to show them—show them that I…” Alex gave a sharp shake of his head. Just as suddenly, Alex switched topics. “Thanks for coming out tonight.”
Logan looked up at him. “Alex—”
“I hope—did I force you? I’m sorry, Tremz.”
“What? Non, non. I…I’m glad I came. Really, I am. But—”
“Okay,” Alex said. “Just checking.”
The streets turned to cobblestones and took on curves. There were still a few apartment glowing. Logan liked that. It felt like Gryffindor. There was always a light on. Finally, Alex stopped.
“You’re right,” Alex said. “I’m left.”
“Oh, I thought you were agreeing with me.” What he meant was you can talk to me. “Al, can I do anything?”
Alex smiled. It was a little tight, but he gave Logan a playful shove in the right direction. “No. Thanks, Tremz.”
Logan didn’t believe him, but he didn’t know how to push either.
They stood there in front of each other for a moment. Alex huffed out a laugh and hugged him hard. A hug Logan associated with Finn, with Finn’s parents. They both did the little shoulder pat that their mom hugged with, too. It made Logan smile.
“We’re gonna be okay,” Logan said.
“Yeah,” Alex replied, muffled by Logan’s shoulder.
When Logan had crossed the street, he turned. He felt like he hadn’t tried hard enough, and he’d already made that mistake once tonight with Leo.
“Mais—I’ll say one thing?”
“What’s up?” Alex nodded, waiting on the corner.
“What you said earlier,” Logan said. “In the locker room and just now. About showing them. That we can be both lovers and—” He almost said enemies. “Opponents.”
“The…oh. Yeah?”
“I think…I think I won a hockey game today,” Logan said. "And I love my boyfriend. If I had lost a hockey game, I would still love my boyfriend. When there are no more hockey games, I’ll still love Leo. And if someone, some fucking reporter wants to link those two things, then they can go to hell.”
Alex was shades of blue and silver across the narrow street.
Logan shifted, a little nervous now. “I don’t think…I don’t think we have to show anyone anything. If it’s okay for me to say…”
Logan thought of the hell this year had been. He thought of Leo, holding him when they’d found out he was going to New York. Leo, tumbling into their living room in the middle of the night when Logan had come home from All-Stars. Leo and his soft kisses in the bright hospital hallway while they waited to see if Finn was okay. None of that was a show. Leo might like to put on a performance on the ice for the fans, but everything else about him was instinct, real and pure. Logan admired that. He’d put up fronts for Finn for so long, fronts that he was still tearing down.
“You don’t have to show Kasey and Nat anything. Not, like, a happy face or that you’re okay. That’s not…” Logan shook his head. “That’s just a bad habit, Alex.”
Alex tilted his head up to look at the faint moon over the city. It wasn’t full, but it was getting there.
“Tremzy…” Alex said slowly. When he smiled, the moonlight lit up his face. “You know what?”
“Quoi?”
“You’re fucking right.” Alex put a hand to his chest. The necklace glinted between his fingers. “You’re so fucking right.”
Logan let out a breath. He smiled back. “Yeah? I don’t know if that made sense in English.”
“Yeah.” Alex’s voice cracked, his brown eyes were bright with tears, but when Logan made to step forward he waved him off.
“Well,” Alex said. “I’m going home now.”
There was a lot of relief in that word. So much that it made Logan smile and feel choked up, too. “Me too.”
Logan tried to open the door as quietly as possible, going slow and expecting darkness.
Only, the lamp above his couch was on, turned down to the dimmest setting, and Finn was looking at him from just below it. He was wearing his faded NASA t-shirt and sweatpants, socked feet crossed on top of a pillow. His sling was draped over the back of the couch, his arm resting easily atop another pillow which also propped his book up.
Sleeping against his chest, was Leo.
Logan wanted to crumble to his knees.
“Oh,” Logan mouthed. He kept perfectly still.
Finn folded the book closed silently. He had his glasses on. Hi, his soft eyes said, and then with a glance down at Leo and a palm on his back: Don’t worry, I’ve got him.
Logan set his keys into the bowl by the door as quietly as he could. Leo. He toed his shoes off. Leo. He walked over to the couch and knelt beside them.
“You are so bad at sneaking,” Finn whispered—so quiet. “Did you have a good time?”
“Ouais,” Logan whispered back. He settled a palm beside Finn’s on Leo’s back, eyes trained on his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. Logan leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss over his t-shirt. He looked up at Finn so he could read his lips more than hear him. “Had a good walk with Alex.”
Finn’s eyebrows raised, surprised. “Oh? Alex…is very good to walk with.”
Logan nodded. He would tell Finn he was a little worried tomorrow.
“Is he okay?” Finn asked softly.
“He will be,” Logan said. He nodded towards Leo. “And ours?”
Finn rubbed a slow hand down Leo’s back with a sigh.
“Lo…”
So far, Leo hadn’t stirred, but at Finn’s touch Logan felt the change in his breathing. Logan could always tell when Leo was awake. Slowly, Leo’s eyes opened. His cheeks were flushed. He regarded Logan sleepily for a moment. Logan felt Leo’s muscles tense as he remembered.
“Hi,” Logan said softly. “Hi, Le.”
“You—” Leo began, but his voice was hoarse and he had to begin again. “You should be out celebrating.”
“I did,” Logan said. “But I want to be here. Merde, Le, I wanted to be here fucking hours ago, I…” Logan shook his head. He was upset with himself, more so than he’d allowed himself to realize earlier tonight. “I should have come and see you. Soleil, I didn’t know…I didn’t know if you’d want…God, I love you, what can I do? Is there anything?”
Tears filled Leo’s eyes. He gave his head a small shake.
“Okay,” Logan said. Was he allowed to reach out to him? Did Leo want that? “Okay…”
“I’m going home with my parents tomorrow for a couple days, Lo.”
Everything in Logan froze. He looked up at Finn, whose eyes told him that this was what he had been about to say.
“Quoi?” Logan breathed. All the tension came right back into him. The fizzy, heavy quiet drained right out of his head.
“Lo,” Finn said, slightly warning.
It knocked him off balance, sitting back on his knees, but Finn reached out and grabbed his hand. His brown eyes were firm, clouded with racing thoughts and emotions. Relax. Think. Wait. Finn’s fingers squeezed around his own. Think. His thumbs made slow tracks across Logan’s knuckles. It’s okay. Think about him. Think about why.
Slowly, slowly, Logan pulled himself back towards Leo, who was watching him with exhausted blue eyes.
Logan let out a breath, he squeezed Finn’s hand then dropped it and combed his fingers through Leo’s hair. “I…okay. Okay. Whatever you need, Soleil.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to see you play—”
“Shh,” Logan whispered. “Le. Leo. It’s not about me. I know I just—um. Freaked out for a second. I’m sorry. We’ve had enough of that this year, ouais?” He leaned down to kiss Leo’s temple. “Home is always good.”
Finn closed his eyes at that, tucking his nose into Leo’s hair. “He’s right, Le. I…he’s right.”
Leo’s first sob was quiet, just a hitch of his chest, but the second came out in a harsh breath. He turned his face towards Finn’s chest, eyes squeezed shut.
Logan felt Leo’s pain right in the center of his chest. “We love you. So much. Le…” Logan wrapped an arm around his back, and Leo reached out a hand to hold his.
“We do,” Finn whispered. “We’re right here.”
“Always,” Logan said. “And—Le, you played so well tonight.” Logan’s throat closed up and he had to pause before he could talk again. “And I’m so fucking proud of you. You’re so talented and this year has been shit. It’s been absolute shit, Le.”
“I really—love you, I just—I need…” Leo gave up trying to talk, just pressed closer to Finn.
“You don’t have to explain,” Finn said soothingly. “We understand.”
“Ouais.” Logan nodded. “I also would—would want Eloise’s chicken soup.” Logan wiped his eyes clear of tears so he could see Leo better. “Even with full spice.”
It startled a laugh out of Leo, crying and blocked-nosed as it was. “Full spice?”
“Ouais, I would. I swear it.”
“Me too,” Finn said. “It’d make me cry but me too.”
  Outside it started to rain. A crack of thunder and the force of the drops doubled. Logan didn’t realize he’d hardly looked up until the second clap of thunder.
“The storm,” Leo said.
“Can’t hear it,” Logan replied.
Leo took a few breathes, then picked up his head from Finn’s chest and looked at him.
“Hi, pillow.”
Finn laughed softly. “Very happy to be of service.”
“Didn’t think I was going to be able to sleep at all.” Leo pressed a kiss to Finn’s chin and groaned a little as he pushed himself into a sitting position, like he hadn’t moved in ages. He let out a long breath, rubbing at his eyes.
“I love you guys, too,” Leo said. He reached out for Logan. “The ice…Seeing you on the ice…”
Logan shook his head. “I know.” He pushed himself up onto the couch when Leo made free the space on his other side. Finn sat up and slipped his sling back over his head to cradle his arm. He sat facing them criss-crossed and Leo touched his face. Finn kissed his palm.
“Did you guys eat after the game?” Logan asked.
Leo shook his head. “Finn wanted to get me something but…I really just didn’t want anything.”
“You should have something,” Logan said, then he leaned forward for a quick kiss. “Wait.” This. This was something he could do. “Don’t move, either of you.”
Logan moved around in the yellow light of his kitchen with hard-fought for ease. He cracked eggs into a bowl. He poured a splash of milk in, the way Leo had taught him. In the pan, he kept the heat on low, turning the eggs slowly so their soft curl didn’t break. He turned the heat off while they were still just a little runny, slid them onto the toasts—which he had managed to time perfectly—to let them finish cooking while they melted in butter and a few passes of shaved cheddar. Four shakes of chili flakes. He went to the fridge and found the fresh mint that Leo had bought for him. He waited a moment for his kettle to boil, then clumped the mint into three mugs and poured the hot water over them. A little drizzle of honey in Leo’s, a big drizzle in his, none for Finn.
In the living room, Finn and Leo were dozing together. Outside, the sky lit up with lightning and both of their eyes opened. Leo held out his arm.
“You’re back.”
“Of course,” Logan said.
Leo looked over at Finn. “See?”
Finn shuffled Leo closer under his arm. “I do. I do.”
Logan braced himself, setting the tray of Leo’s eggs and the three teas down just in time for the thunder to make him flinch. Leo’s eyes were clearer now. He smiled when they saw the food.
“Aw, Lo…”
“It’s nothing like you can do,” he said. “But I love you.”
I love you, love you, love you.
He settled the plate on Leo’s lap and watched as he took a bite, humming as he chewed. He held out the toast for Finn. Another crack of thunder rang out, but Logan hardly heard. He was warm in one of those softly glowing apartments he’d seen from the street. The sun was going to rise soon and Leo and Finn were tucked close to him. Their faces were tear-streaked, noses still sniffling, and it wasn’t quite their summer. Not yet.
Outside it was raining and thundering, but inside it was beginning to feel to Logan like their storm was passing by.
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fruitcoops · 5 months
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You have some awesome friendship fics when Remus and Lily do manis and go shopping. Have you thought of one where Remus is there when Lily gets her wedding dress or she is there to get him fitted for his suit for his own wedding. Or the same with James/Sirius although I’m not sure how that would work with Reg.
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Fic O'Ween Day 2: Candle Wax to continue the excellent friendship vibes from yesterday. Big fest thanks to @noots-fic-fests and character credit goes to @lumosinlove.
TW brief mention of alcohol
“Give it a spin.”
“…I don’t want to.”
“Then put it back.”
“What if it’s the one?”
Remus’ entire face scrunched with a frown in the mirror behind her. “Lily,” he began, with as much concern as if she had just told him the sky was actually emerald green. “Why would you buy a wedding dress you don’t want to spin in?”
“He’s right,” Natalie chimed in, swirling her rosé with a critical glance over Lily’s skirt. “You deserve better.”
“What if—”
“Literally your one requirement was to be able to spin, babygirl.”
Lily studied herself in the mirror again. The dress was pretty and creamy and light around her legs. The bow at the back wasn’t bad, perhaps a little oversized, but that could be fixed. It was already five o’clock, anyway. Two hours should be more than enough time to find a wedding dress.
“You don’t like it,” Remus said gently.
“No,” she sighed. “Not that much.”
“Then try a different one.”
Natalie brightened. “Yeah, what about that off-the-shoulder number? With the sweetheart neckline?”
Lily tipped her head back and forth. “My tits were falling out.”
“Exactly.”
“You do love when James makes a fool of himself,” Remus added.
The fabric slid in a smooth cascade beneath her palms. Probably damp palms. Was it alright for her to touch this fabric when she was nervous? Why was she nervous, anyway? It was her wedding. Her James. Natalie was right—she deserved the dress of her dreams. Lily knew her dreams better than anyone else and always had, through Petunia, through her Master’s, through a whole-ass baby. A dress should be the easiest thing in the world to choose.
“You liked the flowers, right?” Remus suggested, picking at the edge of his phone case. “On the…what was it, the third one?”
“The fourth.” Natalie nodded. “That’s the one with the sweetheart neckline.”
It was a nice dress. And she did like the florals. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Never mind.”
“What?”
“You’re not getting a ‘yeah, I guess’ dress,” Natalie said firmly. “Fuck that. You’re getting an ‘oh my god, I love this, I’m going to make every single guest cream their pants when they see me’ dress.”
“I—”
“What did you like about them?” Remus asked. “The other dresses.”
“I…” Lily trailed off. Her raw inner lip pinched when she nibbled at it. Jesus, her palms really did feel fucking soaked. “I don’t like this fabric. Or the bow. I liked the flowers from the other dress, but I want them smaller. The buttons on the bodice were nice.”
“Remind me what the bodice is?” she heard Remus whisper.
“The top,” Natalie whispered back before raising her voice again. “How about you take that thing off and we look together, hon? Three pairs of eyes are better than one.”
The surge of relief in her belly was a surprise, but not unwelcome. Lily examined the way it lay against her thighs for a moment longer before pursing her lips. “I don’t know, you guys have better things to—”
Immediate protests—far too loud for the pristine establishment—burst from both. “I’m not listening to that,” Remus warned. “Nuh-uh. This is a Lily day and I have the calendar invite to prove it.”
Natalie watched her in the mirror with a dangerous arch to her eyebrow. “You gave me rosé, my hot bestie, and pretty clothes to look at. Don’t take this from me. Now, tell us where to go and we will be your little wedding minions for as long as your heart desires.”
Lily loved her. Dearly. She glanced back once more and caught Remus’ eye, and his encouraging smile. “Calendar invite?”
“Midnight to midnight, Evans.”
“Florals, buttons, and something I can sweat in. Oh, and spin.” She shook her head. “Why did I pick a July wedding?”
Natalie stood and placed her hands on Lily’s shoulders, leaving them nearly eye-to-eye with the help of the pedestal beneath her. Her palms were pleasantly cool on Lily’s overheated skin. “Because you can’t fucking wait to marry James Potter, you utter legend.”
--
Two hours.
Fourteen more dresses.
Lily rolled a fine satin petal between her fingertips, dragged her palms up her waist, down over her belly, across the swell of her thighs. The pale green chiffon faded to blush and back in loose waves over the solid ivory beneath. She rested her weight on her other side and followed the tender shimmer where the light caught each movement. The straps were broad, yet elegant—fawn-colored buttons tracked from the valley of her chest to the top of the skirt, where small flowers had been stitched in rows that dripped through the folds like warm candle wax.
“She looks so fucking gorgeous, I’m gonna cry.”
“I know. Jesus. That’s gotta be it.”
“Did you find that one?”
“Mhmm.”
“Nice, Lupin. Hook it up.” A soft high-five interrupted their muttering. “Can you pick out my wedding dress?”
“Propose to Bliz first. Then we can talk.”
“What do you think?” Lily called over her shoulder. She didn’t bother looking away from the mirror; she looked too good for that.
“Stellar as always, Lils,” Remus answered with a firm thumbs-up.
“Creaming myself as we speak,” Natalie chimed in. “Honestly, babe, you’re beautiful beyond belief. The dress just makes it even clearer.”
She gave a little sway to watch it ripple around her ankles—Remus’ sharp whistle made her jump, though it soon turned to laughter. He drummed his hands on either side of the armchair. “Come on, come on, do the spin—oh, there she goes!”
Natalie whooped. “Throw that ass in a circle, baby! You and me are getting down at that reception.”
A blush heated Lily’s face and neck as she laughed, still spinning, but it looked—fuck, it looked so pretty when Lily caught herself in the mirror again. The dappled colors of the dress warmed her away from fire-engine red, highlighting the pinks of her skin and auburn of her hair where it fell over her shoulder. I want pictures of this, she thought. I want a photo album of pictures where I’m in this dress, and I want James Potter to cry when he sees me in it. “I look so hot right now.”
“You so do,” Remus agreed. They were both leaning forward in their chairs, hands clasped. Lily briefly imagined asking them to find her another dress, just to watch them goggle at her.
But she wasn’t sure she’d take this one off for a million dollars.
“Is it…” Natalie pressed her lips together, eyes gleaming. “Lily?”
She was nodding before the words even began to come out. “This is my wedding dress.”
“Yes!”
“This is my fucking Stanley Cup, oh my god.” Natalie held both hands to her cheeks and turned to Remus, bouncing on her toes. “Oh my god, oh my god, wedding dress—”
“Wedding, wedding, wedding, Lily don’t you dare make us celebrate without you—”
Lily laughed and gathered the skirt up off the floor; it was only a short step to the ground before they were on her with all the force of an ecstatic hurricane. Natalie’s arms were a vice around her waist while Remus held them both and pressed a smacking kiss to the top of her head. She hoped this bodice had proper boning, because her chest was simply going to explode with the light radiating inside her.
“I’m so happy for you,” Remus mumbled against the side of her head. “And I’m so excited, and you look so pretty, and I’m so proud of you.”
Natalie was there in half a second to brush her thumbs over Lily’s cheekbones and ease the lump in her throat. “Look at you,” she whispered, beaming. “Look at you!”
“I know.” She laughed again and it came out a bit choked. Natalie made a small, sympathetic sound as Remus pulled a pack of tissues from his back pocket, but Lily waved them off with a few fast blinks. “God, it’s—happy tears, I promise. I’m so happy. Can I get married tonight?”
“Yes,” they chorused.
Remus nodded, still offering the tissues. “Say the word, I’ll call James right now. I think he wanted to get married the night of the Cup.”
“Only took him eight years to ask,” Lily grumbled.
Their burst of laughter made several people across the store glance over, reducing them to hushed giggling in the best huddle Lily had ever been part of.
--
Soft, pastel thread bumped beneath James’ thumb as he ran it along the cuff on his suit. The pockets and lapels held much of the same—microscopic flowers, leaves, and patterns stitched into matte black fabric under Lily’s incredibly cryptic guidance.
“Looks damn good.”
“Ahblahablah!”
James tilted his shoulders this way and that. There had to be some square inch he was missing. Nothing in the world could possibly be this right. Then again, he was marrying Lily Evans, and that was pretty damn perfect. “D’you think her dress matches the suit?”
Sirius’ eyes flickered to the ground for a half-second. “…probably.”
“You’ve seen it?”
“Maybe.”
Something in James’ stomach gave a funny swoop. A Lily swoop. “How did she look?”
Sirius’ laugh made Harry squeal around the fistful of t-shirt (definitely Remus’) he had shoved in his mouth. “Dude,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “You’re going to lose your mind.”
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moonloup · 1 year
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Is it just me or does this man give off MAD Captain Sirius Black vibes?? Yes? no? maybe? idk, I had to tell someone… or someones I guess?
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Also Remus TOTALLY took these ones:
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https://instagram.com/tylerhayek?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
(@lumosinlove i love and appreciate u immensely)
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siriuslyinlouve · 1 year
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Made this for a friend and myself, so we can go watch the Lions in style!!
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under-theweirwood · 9 months
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...out of love // coops // from @allhalloweve ask that i deleted by accident // 
Remus was pretty sure he loved every version of Sirius, loved the versions that didn’t even exist yet. One of his favorites; soft and sleep-rumpled, skin silvery smooth in the first bits of morning light, hair tied back in a ponytail mussed up against the pillows. It wasn’t often that Remus was up first, although it had been happening more as time went on, like Sirius’s body was finally catching up to years of early morning workouts and days begun in the dark. 
So Remus especially appreciated this sleep-worn version of Sirius, of the way his cheeks squished against the pillow, of the way he looked so young in his sleep. 
More than once, Remus had wished he could have known Sirius as a child. He ached to hold close the impossibly small boy he knew he’d once been, the boy skating hard in the hopes he would one day be treated gently. 
Instead, Remus leaned over and pressed kisses to Sirius’s forehead, to the tip of his nose and the paper-thin skin under his eyes. 
“Whassit?” Sirius mumbled sleepily as he rolled closer, angling his head for more kisses. 
“I love you,” Remus murmured, bringing their lips together. Sirius’s lips were a little dry, and he sighed sleepily into the kiss. Remus pressed close, limbs going even meltier when Sirius tucked himself under Remus’s chin. “I love you I love you I love you.” 
Sirius wiggled closer, his breathing evening out as he sighed out a soft snore.
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