#he felt so bad he deleted his too before he even came and confessed to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mooodyblue · 1 year

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square | austin butler x gn!reader

summary: your own insecurities stopped you from confessing to your best friend before it was too late, leaving you to wallow in your own sorrow.

WC: 1.6k

warnings: angst, gender neutral reader, a bit dialogue heavy tbh, loneliness, mentions of anxiety and depression, friends to lovers? all over the place if im being real

notes: making my austin fic debut!! im contributing to the few non-smutty fics out there so hopefully this doesn't flop lol heavily inspired by square by yerin baek may contain mistakes as i didn't bother proofreading this one, sorry y'all. wrote this at a cicis and was like yeah lemme upload it before i change my mind and delete it

masterlist | send a request or say hi :)

sometimes you wished you weren't so closed off when it came to your own feelings. especially when it came to austin. that deep feeling of anxiety was what continued to stop you anytime you came close to revealing your true feelings towards him. especially now that he has a girlfriend, who he's been seeing for a few months now. you liked her, she was nice but part of you knew she didn't like you. could you really blame her? all he ever did was text or call you. after filming elvis, he was always with you and now that he has a girlfriend, it feels like nothing has changed.

you'd known austin for quite some time now. he was introduced to you through a mutual friend and grew close with eachother immediately. nobody knew you like austin did and just that alone made you fall in love with him. whether it'd be you having a panic attack or just having an awful day, he'd rush to your side and make you feel better. if only he could be by your side 24/7. he may as well be.

so when you've found yourself at a get-together that austin would be at, you prayed you wouldn't run into him. it had been a couple days since you'd seen him, but you hadn't been up for seeing him. insecurities and worries were clouding your mind, you just weren't doing too great and didn't want to admit that to austin. you didn't even know why you came to this place, maybe for the alcohol or just to get out of the house. you'd been glued to your corner on your phone, occasionally saying hi to friends you hadn't spoken to in awhile before they ran off to their other friends.

"well well well." a voice said in front of you.

you looked up from your phone, part of you dying inside at the tall figure now in your personal square in the corner but flashing him a quick, welcoming smile. "hi austin"

"you been avoiding me? haven't seen you in forever." he leaned next to you against the wall, invading more of your personal space.

"i didn't see you! honest! i didn't even know you were here." you lied, shoving your phone in your pocket. "i think you would know if i was avoiding you."

he crossed his arms, "which you were definitely doing-"

"-which i was definitely not doing!"

austin sighed and grabbed your arm, "c'mon." you let out a small whine as he pulled you outside, away from the large crowds of people. he sat down on one of the steps, pulling you down next to him. "what's going on?"

you hugged your knees slightly, shrugging. "just been busy."

"it's a good thing you don't act cause you are a very bad liar."

you scoffed. "you play in one huge movie and suddenly you've gotten cocky?"

austin let out a small laugh as you shook your head at him. you both sat there in the cool air for a few moments in silence, just taking in eachothers conpany as you gathered your thoughts. you didn't have enough alcohol in your system to really admit what's been bothering you, but you had to tell austin something. anything.

you scooted closer to him and rested your head on his shoulder. he wrapped an arm around you, rubbing your arm gently. "you don't have to tell me anything. just know i'm here for you." he said softly.

that was the problem. nobody had ever cared for you like austin did. you felt undeserving of him sometimes, especially at times like this. you hated how nice he was to you and how he always knew the right things to say to cheer you up. you hated all of it. it made you love him even more. why love what you can't have? when austin got a text from his girlfriend asking him where he was, he gave you a final hug, told you to call him later and left you there alone on the steps, a feeling of relief overcoming you. you went home that night and cried yourself to sleep, not even bothering to call or text austin.

there had been many times in your friendship where you'd hinted at liking him. you definitely wished you had just been open about how much you adored him instead of just beating around the bush. you'd send him silly little love songs that reminded you of him, often joked saying 'we may as well be dating' and even acting heartbroken when he told you he had a girlfriend saying 'b-but i thought we were dating!' yet he still couldn't take a hint. now here you are, glued to your bed, refusing to look at your phone and gluing your eyes to netflix all day. watching other people being in love knowing how unloveable you felt was comforting at times.

austin was nice enough to give you your space after the party a few days ago, which then turned into weeks. you'd never gone this long without talking to him. but you couldn't bring yourself to answer his texts and he knew better than to show up at your doorstep. you wished he would though, but assumed he was too busy with his girlfriend to put in the effort. your phone lit up with another text from austin asking if you were okay and how worried he was about you. another text of his going ignored as you went back to your show.

just as you were about to doze off, you heard your doorbell ring. letting out an annoyed mumble, you slipped on your house shoes and a hoodie before making your way to the door. it was ringing nonstop, like it was being pushed repeatedly. "jesus, hold on!" you yelled and glanced outside the window. your eyes widened at a disheveled austin, glancing at you sadly. "what the fuck." you opened your door, austin throwing himself on you and holding you tightly.

"i was so worried about you." he said, voice deeper and more tired than usual. you pulled away from him to get a good look at him, frowning slightly. "austin-i-are you okay?"

"she broke up with me."

"oh, god. i'm sorry. c'mon, i'll get you some water." you closed the door behind him as he took a seat on your couch, face in his hands. "i tried, i really did."

you grabbed a water from the fridge and handed it to him before sitting next to him. "what happened?" you felt bad for austin, really. you'd neglected him for weeks all while he was having problems with his relationship and you were the one person he wanted to talk to throughout all of this. you felt awful, but you were glad to be there for him now at least.

austin began picking at the label on the bottle nervously, hands shaking. "it always feels like people leave me, am i not loveable? why can't i hold a relationship?"

it was ironic, you having the same feelings in regards to austin. it was the reason why you had been avoiding him all this time. "you know that's not true, austin."

he refused to look you in the eye, still making a mess of the label. "why've you been avoidin' me? if it's not true then why won't you talk to me?"

"i-" you sat there silently, looking at the floor. this wasn't the time to admit your true feelings to austin, but you couldn't come up with a better reasoning. "austin-"

"d'ya know i used to be so in love with you? like-god." he sighed and placed the bottle on the coffee table, glancing over at you. "moving on was so hard. i just-i wanted to be with you. i think that's why she broke up with me. because of you."

your jaw dropped, leaving you speechless.

"this whole time-i just wanted you. it's always been you. been so worried about you these last couple of weeks, just wanted to come over and hold you for a few hours. i wanted to take care of you but i thought you were mad at me about somethin'-"

"austin. are you serious?" you interrupted. you leaned back on the couch, laughing softly.

austin looked at you with his brows furrowed, slightly annoyed at your sudden mood change. "whats so funny?"

"i must really be a bad actor cause i've been throwing hints at you for the longest time." you laughed again.

"hints?"

"austin, i've been in love with you for years. when you got a girlfriend, i was devastated. i didn't know what to do, i thought you were gonna leave me."

austin turned to you, bringing a leg up to the couch. "i would never leave you. are you kidding?" he took your hands in his and held them tightly. "after everything you and i have been through? hell, after everything i put you through? i mean c'mon, i could have asked anyone to sit through all of elvis's movies with me but i asked you instead."

"surprisingly not that bad."

"right?" austin chuckled then shook his head. "no but seriously, you mean everything to me. i can't lose you." he stood up and pulled you up. he hugged you tightly before placing a kiss on your forehead, smiling and leaving his arms wrapped around your waist.

you placed your hands softly on the sides of his face, locking your eyes with his. "let's go to bed, yeah? we can finish this in the morning."

"i'm all yours, baby."

#austin butler #austin x reader #sooo many mixed feelings abt this one u guys im so sorry #also send in austin requests !!!

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alcamcat · 1 year

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Hello! I saw that you were willing to take requests so may I request a platonic imagine of gardening with James, Confessing they like spending time with him and the brothers cause they feel like family to them.

Hey, you are my first request! I wrote a little scenario about it, hope you like it!

-I don't own the game or the characters-

It was one of those days. Life wasn't bad per se, but somehow everything had gone wrong that day. The alarm hadn't rung, then there was so much traffic that they were late for the first appointment. From then on it went even further downhill. Stress, forgetting their lunch at home and of course they got stuck in traffic on the way back again. The only bright spot in the day was the arrangement to meet James, their neighbor. He had recently moved to town with his brothers and lived in the house next door.

A short time later they were already kneeling next to James in front of the bed and together they planted the newly acquired flowers. They talked about their day, he asked interested questions as if it were the most natural thing in the world. With every minute that they spent with James in the garden and told him about the day, they relaxed more and more. He just manages to ask the right questions to make everything appear in a more positive light for them. A smile soon appeared on their features and by the time they accidentally dropped something and James caught it for them, they had already forgotten that their day had been anything but good.

It quickly became apparent that he, like them, enjoyed working in the garden and over time the contact had become closer and closer. And they had to admit that he and his brothers had crept into their heart. When they were with them, it was a little like coming home. It wasn't that they didn't have friends, people to hang out with, but there was something about gardening with James and watching the brothers' interactions that felt so comforting, even if they couldn't describe why.

After quickly changing clothes, they opened the small gate that separated their gardens. James was already kneeling in front of a flower bed. He looked up when he heard the sound of the gate. "Hello, I'm glad you made it!" With a smile that came naturally, they walked up to him. "Hi James, I said I'd help. So..." They looked around, "...what can I do?"

In between, Damien came up to them and invited them to stay for dinner. Matthew, the second youngest brother as they knew, had found a new dessert recipe and was going to try it. They considered turning down the offer, but before they could say anything, Damien smiled kindly. "I know you want it!" And yes, he was right. They wanted to stay for dinner, continue talking to James and watch the brothers tease each other. They were too comfortable with them to refuse. "I would like to stay for dinner, thank you!" "You're welcome, I'm looking forward to it." "But first we have to finish this." James intervened and handed them a rake, which they accepted with a smile.

When they finally planted the last plant and started smoothing the soil over the bed, they were talking about holiday destinations. Conversations with James were always interesting, he had a wide range of knowledge and was always interested in the opinions of others. "I was in Germany once and visited a Christmas market..." their story was interrupted by loud screams coming from the house. Not a second later the patio door flew open and Matthew ran into the garden. Closely followed by Sam who seemed to slow down when he saw them. Matthew laughed, running straight for the two of them and in one quick movement he jumped behind them, wrapping his arm around their waist and pushing them in front of him as if using them as some kind of shield.

"It really wasn't me!" he spluttered out laughing while a single look from James was enough to bring Sam to a halt in front of them. "Bullshit. Nobody else was at the console. You deleted my fucking save." They felt Matthew, still laughing, shake his head behind them. "It wasn't me, why would I delete such a bad save?" "You little pig..." "Sam!" James cut him off with a warning in his voice and they couldn't hold back their laughter any longer.

Their laughter seemed so confusing to Sam that he opened and closed his mouth like a fish for a few seconds, which only made them and Matthew laugh more. When he finally caught himself, he crossed his arms and tilted his head at them. "And what's so funny about that, exactly?" They raised their hands reassuringly, and as they spoke, remembering using the exact same gesture to placate their siblings, "Nothing, really."

"I think they're laughing because you guys are acting like little, ill-mannered kids," James suggested and they pressed their lips together to keep from laughing again. Then he turned to Matthew, "Didn't you actually want to make dinner?" They dismissed it as an illusion that James's gaze wandered to the arm that Matthew still had around them when he asked the question. Matthew immediately let go of them and danced around Sam, who followed his movements with narrowed eyes.

"I apologize on their behalf", James finally said with a sigh as Sam walked back into the house as well. "You don't have to." James looked at them in mild disbelief for a moment before bending down to pick up the last sack of potting soil. As if automatically, they grabbed the rake again. "Besides..." they murmured under their breath, immediately catching James' attention again, who gave them a questioning look when they didn't continue.

"Besides...?" he repeated, questioningly, as if to encourage them to continue. They bit their lip with a smile. "Besides, I find it really refreshing to be around your brothers." "Really?" James' doubtful expression drew a laugh from them. "Yes! It's nice to see how you treat each other. When I'm with you, it feels a bit like coming home for me. I know that might sound strange, but you and your brothers are like family to me now!”

James' eyes had widened with every word and they looked down in embarrassment until they felt a hand on their shoulder. When they looked at James again, he gave them a friendly smile. "That doesn't sound strange at all. I am glad that you feel comfortable with us! After all, we are fond of you too.” The words had a very special ring to them. A warm wave spread from their heart through their body. A feeling of contentment set in that they had missed for a long time without knowing it.

They smiled at each other for a moment, then James lowered his hand and grabbed a shovel. "So, you just talked about Germany. What is a Christmas market?” His calm curiosity pleased them and they immediately engaged in a pleasant conversation. When Matthew called for dinner a little later and the two had put away their tools, James offered his arm to lead them into the house.

Of course, they accepted the offer and together with him entered the house, where a fun evening full of brotherly teasing and interesting conversations awaited them. A bit like coming home.

#seduce me the otome #smto #seduce me james #just thinking #ask #seduce me scenarios #seduce me ask #James Anderson #seduce me otome

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petitelepus · 2 years

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Hello❣️ Have a nice day/night🌟

You can write a short one-sentence query ~

fem/she/her-reader and Floyd who says: "You're the only thing that matters."

(Floyd cheers on his partner/reader)

You were at the botanical garden, waiting for someone, but you had been waiting for quite some time already. You sighed as you yet again took a look at your watch on your phone. It had been over 2 hours already. It was perhaps time to give up.

"Hey heyyy~"

You groaned out loud when you heard a familiar voice coming from behind you. Floyd Leech, your senior, and currently the very last person you wanted to see due to his habit of sticking his nose where it didn't belong in.

"What, what is it Floyd?!" You snapped and you immediately felt bad for doing so. It wasn't his fault, this time, that you were in a sour mood. You had to apologize-!

"Eeh? What crawled up your ass and died?" Came a quick reply from the Octavinelle student and you blinked as you turned around to give him your full attention. Floyd was still smiling, but you wouldn't have called his smile genuine.

"What? Ew, gross!" You cried out and frowned. "No, I just got ghosted by someone I thought was my friend."

"Shrimpy had a date?" Floyd asked as he looked at you up and down, and you rolled your eyes, "Not exactly a date…"

Who were you kidding, you had put on your nice dress, styled your hair, and even done your make-up to perfection. Of course, you were there for a date! You sighed and pinched the ridge of your nose. Might as well confess.

"I feel stupid. We talked about this and that and I thought they were a good guy, but look at me now. They even deleted their profile so I can't get a hold of them." You frowned as you crossed your arms, "I must have been an easy target. They must be laughing at me somewhere."

"Did they ask for money?" Floyd asked and you nodded. "Yeah, but I said I rather meet them before giving them anything like that. Must have been because of that that they deleted everything. Good thing I didn't pay them but it doesn't exactly make me happy that they were only after my money."

"Shrimpy is too kind for her own good!" Floyd laughed and you frowned lightly, not because you were upset but more out of amusement, "If I'm so kind then why I don't have a boyfriend yet?"

"Why don't you let me take you out?" Floyd asked suddenly and you blinked in surprise, "What?"

"Fe he he he! Out of all the other guys I could squeeze, you're the only one that matters to me." He confessed with a smile so huge you could see his sharp teeth.

You stared at him, eyes wide in shock until your brain slowly registered his words, and once you realized what he just said you blushed furiously. Was that a confession? No, you were thinking too much.

"Wow, Floyd…" You muttered quietly, "You're being awfully nice right now."

"Fe he he he! I'm a nice guy, Shrimpy!" Floyd laughed and as usual, his laughter was contagious. You smiled and shook your head. "You really aren't, but thanks for the sweet words."

"So? Will You let me take you out?"

You looked at Floyd, ready for him to just shout out how he was just joking and wouldn't want to take your sorry ass out, but he just looked and waited for your answer. Finally, you smiled and nodded. "Yes."

"Great! Oh, we will have so much fun Shrimpy, just you and me!" The young man cheered as he grabbed you in one of his famous hugs and you braced yourself as he squeezed and twirled you around like you weighed nothing. That's when you heard something fall on the floor and Floyd stopped and put you down.

"Phone?" You wondered and quickly checked your purse, but your phone was still safely there. It must have been Floyd's. You kneeled down to pick it up, but just as you were about to grab it, your hand touched Floyd's, who had also kneeled to pick up his phone.

You pulled your hand back as if it burned and looked at him, feeling a little embarrassed. Floyd just chuckled as he picked up his phone and helped you to stand up. You smiled, "Carefully, you might break your phone like that."

"Eh, I'll just get a new one if that happens." He said and offered his arm to you like a gentleman, which you did not know he was capable of. You smiled and looped your arm around his and the two of you left the garden.

"Ah, sorry I snapped at you earlier." You quickly apologized, remembering how rude you had been back there. Floyd just chuckled. "Eh, water under the bridge and so on! Shrimpy is more bark than bite!"

You smiled and focused on walking forward, but the young man's other hand went to check that his phone was now securely in his pocket. Floyd was lucky you didn't see the deleted fake profile he had on his phone when you went to pick it up. It would have spoiled his brilliant plan to get you to go out with him. Azul and Jade weren't the only sneaky ones there were.

#twisted wonderland #twst #floyd leech #reader #reader insert #drabble #writing #my writing #fem!reader #Reader is a female #Floyd is evil genius #ENJOY!#Anon #Thank you for lovely Request!

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tartglias · 3 years

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General relationship headcanons with genshin boys

“Since it's open, what about general headcanons for the boys? ;0 like what's it like to be with them for a headstart :D”

i was originally going to make six characters, then five, but then i accidentally deleted th draft and had to start all over again. i already feel bad for posting late so i’m sorry it’s just four and not five :( i’ll probably make a part 2 of these soon!!

characters: diluc, kaeya, scaramouche and xiao

Diluc

The beginning of the relationship was slow, painfully slow. So slow that a certain bard and the one and only Cavalry Captain had to step up, since neither of you would make the first step. Both of you were too scared of rejection, so you decided to swallow your feelings and “face” reality.

A few pick up lines over here, a jealousy scene over there, and the result was a very angry and flustered Diluc taking your hand and leading you upstairs for some privacy. It was then and there when he confessed his feelings for you, a sigh of relief leaving him when you reciprocated.

Both of you are private people, so you decided that keeping the relationship away from the public eye would be the best option. Sure, affection was reduced to an extent but that doesn’t mean that the relationship lacks love!

Affection in public meant exchanging soft glances and shy smiles from across the room, interlocking of pinkies and stealing kisses when nobody was looking. Very rarely, when he was feeling wild and desperate, he would drag you to somewhere secluded and push you (gently) to the nearest wall, caging you in between his arms as you wrapped your hands around his waist. Then, he kissed you slow and passionately.

Behind closed doors, the story was different. There wasn’t a single moment in which his hands weren’t touching your skin, or your hands weren’t playing with his hair as you kissed him passionately to compensate for the lost time. A kiss here, a kiss there. Again and again. A kiss for every hour you couldn’t spend together.

You found out about Diluc’s nightly activities rather quickly. It happened on a night in which he came back home slightly injured and breathless. When you questioned him, he simply said that some treasure hoarders ambushed him, but you knew he was lying. You could tell. Diluc soon realized there was no point in lying to you, so he told you his identity as the Darknight Hero.

Overall, your relationship may have started in a messy way, Diluc sometimes wishes he could have confessed in a different and more appropiate way. Your relationship may also be quiet, but quiet doesn’t mean that it lacks love. You both spend late nights and mornings in each others arms whispering sweet nothings. And your relationship may be scary at times, you often feared that he wont come back home one day. But you also know he always does, and you trust him every moment of the day. And he feels the same way. He doesn’t trust people easily, he rarely lets people in. But you are different, you make him feel different. He trusts you more than anything in the world.

Kaeya

It was no secret that Kaeya was a flirt. A few compliments over here, a charming smile over there and that was basically the formula to have most people in Mondstadt wrapped around his finger. Most people... except you. With a shy smile and an evident blush on your cheeks you were always fast to dismiss it and laugh it off. “You shouldn’t go saying those things” you used to say.

It started with a desire to make you swoon, it was like a goal for him. But eventually, he caught feelings and you were the one who made him swoon. So one day, he had enough. He wanted to confess and tell you how he actually feels.

And so he did, yet somehow you still thought it was a joke. “Kaeya you can’t say those things as a joke... someone will actually fall for it” you said, looking down at your feet as your heart started beating faster and faster by second. “I’m not joking, y/n. That’s how I truly and deeply feel about you” he said, taking your hand and placing it on his chest so you could feel how fast his heart was beating as well.

The closest word to describe your relationship with Kaeya would be that it was like an adventure, interesting and fun. You’re bored? He would take you to explore interesting (and safe) places he encountered while on his commissions. You’re sad? Nothing like him dragging you to the very top of the Cathedral and hugging you close to him as you both watch the sunset wouldn’t solve.

Kaeya’s kisses can be either quick or desperate and hungry, yet passionate. The first case usually happened whenever you two were in public, though he doesn’t have a problem with PDA. If it were up to him, he would spend every second of the day kissing you. But you’re both busy people so most times one of you is in a hurry. The second case happens when either one of you come home after a long day. It starts slow, maybe a few pecks here and there, but soon enough he picks up the pace. One hand around your waist, keeping you close to his body, and his other hand on your face, deepening the kiss. It always leaves you breathless, and he takes those few seconds you take to catch air to kiss your jaw and neck. He loves you and your body, he could spend a lifetime worshipping it.

Insecurity was somewhat a problem in the relationship, from both sides. On his side, he sometimes worried that you would get tired of him and slip away, just like most people in his life. And on your side, you feared that he would find someone who was braver, prettier and more skilled than you. But at the end of the day, even if there were times in which you argued over this problem, you both would always come home to each other. Nights would be spent in each other’s arms, constantly reassuring each other that you’re both here to stay.

Overall, dating Kaeya isn’t easy. You knew this the moment you both confessed. But it is worth it, no one makes you feel like he does, no one makes you swoon and laugh like him. And no one, and I mean, not a single person in Teyvat, could make Kaeya happier.

Scaramouche

Scaramouche was angry, to say the least. How dare you, a fellow Fatui Harbinger who he had to see almost daily, make his heart beat fast and legs shake? Why was he feeling like this? So stupid?

He thought your confession was part of a game, a dare. He saw you laughing with Childe a few moments before, and not that he would ever admit it, in fact he would rather lose his Vision and die than admit it, but he was a little bit jealous of the scene. He wanted to make you laugh like that, he wanted to make you blush and he wanted to have your heart. The moment you confessed, he was angry. He was sure it was a dare and Childe’s plan to make fun of him, but he quickly regretted it once he saw your sad face. “No, leave” he had said. Your shy smile dropped instantly and you slowly nodded, turning around and starting to walk away. His mouth opened before he could actually stop and think of what to do. “Do you mean it?” he asked. “Do you actually like me? It’s not a dare?” “Why would it be a dare? Scaramouche, I’ve liked you for a while now, everyone knows but you” you said, facing him once again only to find him trying to hide away the strong blush on his face. “Then... I think I like you too” he said, not daring to look at you.

Scaramouche was a harsh and jealous lover, he wanted you for himself. Fights were normal in your relationship, words without real meaning would be thrown at each other all the time. Yet, neither of you walked away. Neither of you verbally apologized for the harsh words either, but instead, you would let your actions apologize for you. Normal fights would be due to his jealousy, you spending a little too much time with Childe or other Harbingers for his liking. Yes, he knows you love him and yes, he knows that he is better than everyone else there. But he also knows he’s not the most liked person among the Fatui, and often worried that you would soon agree with people who said that. After taking a deep breath of air, you would drag him to bed and hold him close to you. His arms around your waist as he snuggled closer to you and buried his face on your neck. You hold him for a few hours while whispering soft promises of love and endless praise, reassuring him that you are not going anywhere anytime soon. “Don’t worry, you’ll have to put up with me for a long, long while” you whispered as you kissed his forehead. “I wouldn’t have it any other way” he whispered back.

Contrary to popular belief and also to his personality, his kisses are soft and unsure. He doesn’t have a lot of experience in this area, so his kisses tend to be short yet soft. Mostly in private as well, since he would rather die than let his underlings see this side of him. He would wrap his arms around your waist, probably as he makes a teasing comment about how desperate you are or how much you probably missed him, and then kissed your lips. He is fascinated by the way your lips feel against his, he gets drunk by the feeling.

Overall, your relationship with Scaramouche is wild, to say the least. One moment you’re yelling at each other, ready to fight and the next one you’re holding him close as he whispered protection promises and kissed your neck. But despite all the problems you both encountered, you’re always there for each other. You rely on him and he relies on you, and that’s enough.

Xiao

“What’s this?” He asked you as you slowly pulled away from him. “A kiss” “Disgusting. Do it again” He said, pulling you back to him with one hand as the other rested on your waist. You smiled through the kiss, and he felt like all his pain and karma vanished. After a while, you pulled away. “Again” he said, chasing your lips before crashing them with his in another soft yet desperate kiss. You giggled and pulled away. “I need to breathe” you said, chuckling at sight of his lips pouting. “Why”

The first time you met, he saved you from treasure hoarders. But before you could thank him, he disappeared. You didn’t know who your savior was, so you tried your best to remember the mask that was on his face. You didn’t see him again, until you found yourself in Wantshu Inn after a long day of commissions far away from your home in Liyue Harbor. You needed rest, but the clear night and stars were calling for you, and before you noticed you were at the top floor of the inn. That’s where you saw him, and for reasons he doesn’t understand, he didn’t leave. He remained sat on the floor, looking at the sky as his legs were hanging from the edge. “Isn’t it pretty? I barely see stars as clear as these back home” you said to the stranger from a close yet appropriate distance. He didn’t reply, he didn’t look at you, but he knew who you were. He remembered you from the time he saved you. Next thing you noticed was the mask that was on the floor next to him. Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped. “You’re... the one who saved me” you said, shock flooding your face. He rolled his eyes in response, can’t he be left alone? “I never got to thank you so... thank you” you simply said, a soft expression replacing your shocked one.

You started dropping by Wangshu Inn a bit more often, whenever your time and commissions allowed you too. And every time you brought different kinds of foods to offer to Xiao, no one ever telling you that his favorite was Almond Tofu. He found it annoying at first, but soon enough got used to it. The day you brought Almond Tofu though, he almost smiled. Almost. His expressions as he ate the offering didn’t go unnoticed by you, and quickly learnt that it was his favorite.

After a while he started looking forward to your visits, but if someone ever asked him about it, he would just say it wasn’t because of you, it was for the almond tofu offering. You started spending more time with him, even though he barely opened his mouth and you did all the talking. He found you amusing, truly. Something about you, made him feel funny inside. And that scared him.

Your relationship started with a kiss. “Again” he would say. “Again” he would repeat whenever you broke away to breathe. This was new to him, and he knew it was wrong since he is who he is and could harm you at any second, but he was addicted. He was addicted to your kisses, to your touches. He got drunk by the feeling you gave him, not wanting to ever let go. “Let go, let go of them. You’ll only harm them” he kept repeating to himself in his mind, but his body moved by itself, pulling you closer to him. He was addicted, and he knew it was bad.

There weren’t many arguments in your relationship, maybe a few over you taking dangerous commissions, but other than that it was full of affection. Affection used to be a strange concept for Xiao, who once was determined that it’s better for everyone if he stayed away. But then you appeared, and no one ever made him feel the way you did. He started yearning for your touches and he looked forward to you coming back to him so he could kiss you. You were better than any medicine Zonghli could ever give him, you made his pain ease. And as you were wrapped in his arms watching the stars at the top floor of the Inn, he made a promise. A promise of protection and love, he would never let anyone or anything harm you, and even if you die of old age he would still love you for centuries to come, and he will find you again in your next life.

Overall, your relationship with Xiao started slowly, but soon grew more and more with each passing day. He trusts you almost as much as he trusts Rex Lapis, and he would always watch you closely whenever you go out on a commissions. How did you get so lucky?

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arminsleftnut · 3 years

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hi i deleted the fucking ask on accident so:

@ikiraobsessed i’m SO sorry here’s your request, i hope this is what you wanted <3

CONTENT WARNING: dark content (minors if u interact i will call ur fucking parents), sacrilege, mentions of religion, implied yandere themes, yagami light x fem!reader, god complex & sadism (light being... himself), mentions of death/death of an older sister and reader’s parents (it’s light), toxic relationship, light is manipulative as fuck, kira worshipper reader, naïve/virgin reader, sub!reader, fear play, light is fucking insane, mishandling of virginity (idk how to explain that light is just a mistake), rough sex, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, choking /breath play, reader does not have a safe word (be responsible kids), unprotected sex, breeding kink, god kink, overstimulation, masochism, praise

daphne — a beautiful nymph that caught the attention of the

god apollo, and could not escape him in the end.

the soft thrum of rain against the outside walls was, in many ways, bittersweet. the sound of rain was soothing, nurturing; it made you feel free, renewed, like a sapling unfurling from fresh, damp soil. but now? now it only reminded you that you were trapped. only a few walls separated you and the outside storm, yet it felt like a chasm— one you didn’t dare try to cross. there was no anchor for you anymore, no wings to spread nor roots to unfurl. you were bound here, to him.

the room you were in was dim, lit only by the hallway light and the occasional bright flash of lightning outside. it was an eerie sort of sight; it reminded you of the Catholic Church you had once attended with your parents, and then had gone there after, alone, to find answers for the death of your sister. you had pleaded on your knees, rosary in hand, begging to just understand.

your older sister was a saint. she’d never spoken a harsh word to anyone, not even you, even in the darkest pits of her anger. not even to your parents, who for all their regurgitated sermons on the kindness of god, seemed to have no answers for you when you asked why he’d taken your sister away. they hadn’t even cried. your father had attended confession one last time, and they had never gone back. you were left to search for answers alone. you found none, and you found no god in the empty pews or hollow statues of mary.

but you had found him here. in the dark bedroom within a pretty suburban home, you’d found god, and as he towered over you, his large form encasing you against the bed, you were terrified.

how could you not be? light was— something else entirely. he had offered you answers, and when he’d punished your parents for the crimes he knew they’d inevitably commit, he’d left you no room to question his power. he’d done so much for you, for the world, how could he be anything but a god?

you thought, perhaps, you ought to be on your knees before him; you’d knelt so readily when you’d first met him, it was strange that he hadn’t asked you to do so again. no, he had a different form of worship for you, he’d said. and as you lay there, trembling in the cage of his arms, a traitorous part of you wondered if he’d damned you instead.

“you’re shaking.” light’s observation was smooth, flippant, and there was a hint of a smile in his voice that made your insides twist; whether that was good or bad, you didn’t know. it did not feel kind, but gods never were, you supposed.

you opened your mouth, wishing you had an answer and all at once realizing it was likely for the best that you didn’t. there was no answer you could give him that wouldn’t hurt him. he had done so much for you, he was a hero, how could you tell him that you feared him still?

for better or worse, you did not have to speak at all. light’s hand was deceptively gentle when he wrapped it around your throat, his long fingers digging lightly into the sides of the fragile flesh; not hard enough to stop you from breathing, but still, you froze beneath him. he smiled, and it was both beautiful and terrifying.

“do you think I’d hurt you?” there was no malice in the question that you could hear, only what sounded like genuine curiosity. still, you didn’t move. you didn’t want to hurt him, anger him— his fingers tightened just so. “answer me.”

slowly, you nodded.

surprisingly, there was no hints of anger twisting his expression, no hurt contorting his lovely face. you realized you hadn’t upset him, and it was only then did your heart start beating again. you didn’t even notice that he was still grinning.

“oh, sweet girl,” he cooed, his thumb brushing the underside of your jaw in a tender gesture that made you tremble even more, “how could you think that? you’ve given me so much.”

you have. you’ve given him everything. your time, your mind, your heart. your body was all that was left, and as much as you didn’t want to be, you were petrified of giving him that as well.

but he didn’t take this time. he gave instead.

“this isn’t a punishment, love.” his words were gentle against your lips, and despite his reassurance, you weren’t sure what he was referring to— the way he was touching you, or the soulless bodies of your parents only a few houses down. they were deplorable, greedy, they were going to take you from him. “i don’t punish innocence. you know that. i reward it.”

you did know that; and when his head was between your legs, his tongue flattened against your swollen clit, it felt like a reward. he devoured you wholly, as he’d always done, and you adored it. he let you tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging him closer and holding him to your weeping cunt as you rocked desperately against his face. it was too much too much too much, and when he forced your legs back, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs hard enough to bruise as he forced you to cum on his tongue yet again , you didn’t dare complain— not even as tears pricked your eyes and your entire body trembled.

part of you still wondered, somewhere in the back of your hazed mind, if he actually did mean to punish you. the aching burn between your legs when he’d forced his cock inside you, pushing past any resistance with ease, it was too big, god it was too big, made you sure you must’ve displeased him somehow. but the groan that left him when he was fully seated inside you was nothing short of divine, reminding you of his promise. he wouldn’t hurt you, you reminded yourself through a haze of tears as he fucked into you, so this must not be pain.

it was your own cries that echoed throughout the room, shrieks and sharp squeals drowning out the rumble of thunder outside. he was unforgiving as he abused your pretty cunt, his mouth against your ear, spilling rough praises of how good you were, how proud he was of you, how well you were taking him, and his tongue caught each tear that fell down your cheek. he promised to give you everything, reward you with his children, because you’d given him so much, you deserved the privilege.

you could say nothing, only able to plead for something you couldn’t decipher as you came around him, your vision turning white as he followed soon after, emptying himself inside you, giving you everything he promised.

it was only when the daze lifted and you lay there, the stickiness of his cum trickling out of you and staining your inner thighs, that you realized he meant to keep you rooted here, immortalized in his image. a reward. a blessing.

you thought it might’ve been a curse instead.

#tw: dark content #light yagami x reader #🍒.poppedcherries #death note x reader #death note smut #light yagami smut #i... am so sorry #yes there are several greek mythology references in here don’t touch me

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falling-pages · 3 years

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Kissed by Moonlight: Jean Kirschtein x Reader

My first AoT fic for the love of my life <3 Will there be more? Likely--but almost exclusively of him!

Jean Kirschtein x female Reader

Modern AU, Jean and Reader live in a cliff beachside town, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, pining, confession, first kiss

Reader and Jean are early college, aged roughly 18-20

It’s 3 a.m. and you’re nowhere close to sleeping when your best friend texts you.

Are you awake?

Your eyes focus on his name headlining the top of your screen. You supposed you should have his contact saved under a nickname, or with emojis, or something indicative of your friendship. But not even his last name appears; it’s just Jean, in standard silver letters, but some part of that makes it more romantic, you think, a wonderful familiarity lost in the simplicity. No need to put on airs with him, no need to pretend your relationship is supposed to be quirky or perfect. Pretentious never suited him.

Of course I am, you type back. Your fingers felt like they might bleed with the weight. I always am when I think of you.

But you back off; you delete the words before your foolish, lovesick heart can get too carried away. If he saw your typing bubble, he doesn’t indicate; his own bubble pops up, sending a caring message within a few seconds.

Because if you’re not, don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep.

A string tugs around your heart and pulls it into your stomach.

I’m awake.

As soon as you hit send he calls you, his handsome face lighting up the pitch black of your phone screen. He wasn’t even aware of this picture of him, you’re pretty sure. His eyes are closed and his head is thrown back, smiling, laughing at a joke Connie made; his face is colored by the orange and pink and yellow of a dying sun, too lost in his own world to realize the beauty that he brought to yours.

While others had embarrassing pictures of their friends sleeping or in ridiculous filters as their contact photos, you weren’t ashamed of this one. He was a serious boy, always under so much stress; he second-guessed himself when he didn��t need to, brilliant brain trapped under so many questions and doubts. It was nice to have a reminder of him smiling, his heart unbound and carefree, if only for you to enjoy.

You admired it a moment more before swiping to accept the call, nestling the phone against your ear. “Hey, J.”

Despite your insomnia, your voice was still rusty. He noticed instantly, clucking his tongue to take on that mother hen tone he so often directed at Connie and Sasha whenever they were doing something dumb. “You said you were awake.”

“I am!”

“Don’t sound like it.”

You sighed, rolling onto your side to nuzzle deeper into your pillow. Sometimes, if you strained really hard, you could make it smell like him. “Well, then I don’t know how else to convince you I am.”

He hummed, dropping the tone. “Sorry. I just worry about you.” The string tightened. “Bad night?”

Not now. Not since I’m talking to you. “No, just...there’s a lot on my mind.” It wasn’t a lie. There always was when it came to him.

“I’m with you on that.” He yawned, and even through the speaker you heard the adorable miniscule moans playing from his throat. “I think I can help.”

“Why are you lecturing me when you’re also awake?” you teased, cut off by his curt laugh.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be there in 5.” Just as you nearly hung up, he hastily tagged on, “And give me back my Scouts sweatshirt. You’ve had it for long enough.”

“No promises.”

“Do--”

An elephant never forgets, you thought as you hung up, slamming the phone back down onto your blankets. Running your hands down your face, through your hair, trying to make it look presentable, only to be left needy and frustrated instead. It wasn’t the first time you had stayed up late together, messy with wet hair and soft skin. The friend group had a habit of staying up late with sleepovers and videochatting--and even you and Jean, alone, when Connie and Sasha had passed out after their soda hauls. Like the total Dad friend he was, he made sure everyone else was out before he fell asleep--even lulling your insomniac self into the great beyond with a hand in your hair and gentle words. Sometimes you wondered if even that were a dream, cruel memories implanted by your brain due to intricate fantasies you wove for comfort, but even if they were, they helped calm your heart and rest your mind.

Pulling the covers back was a cruel awakening; the night air was chilling against your skin, goosebumps rising over the ridges of your legs. With a sigh you pulled on some leggings and your shoes, rifling through your closet for his coveted lacrosse sweatshirt. There was good reason as to why it was his favorite, and why you stole it so often. It was thick and cushiony, nearly waterproof, with the wings emblem printed on the front and his last name stitched across the back of the shoulders, warm and cuddly.

For some reason, having Kirschtein embroidered across your back filled you with a sense of security and warmed you to the furthest corners of your heart.

Lights flashed outside your window, and careful to keep your housemates sleeping you opened the screen and snuck out, shimmying down the pipe drain and landing on your feet outside the house. You dashed over to his car and he’s there to greet you, throwing open your door from the inside.

“Hey,” you whispered as soon as you got in, brushing back your hair flyaways from the wind.

Jean leaned over to hug you, keeping his right hand on the wheel while his left arm crossed his body, tucking you close against his neck. His stubbled chin brushed against your forehead. “You came,” he said, releasing you, as if nestled right in the crook of his shoulder wasn’t the most peaceful place on earth.

“We were on the phone less than five minutes ago,” you said, crossing your arms indignantly. “You think I’d ditch you like that?”

“Mmm, maybe, princess.” He flicked your nose before shifting the car back into drive. “You do have a history of flaking on me.”

“That was once, and I had just come back from surgery,” you sputtered, clicking your seatbelt. “I’m sorry I was knocked out and couldn’t answer your text.”

“Yeah, you should be.”

Impossible boy, but damn if you didn’t love him.

Jean cleared his throat as he pulled out of the driveway. You tried to ignore the way his arm rested behind your seat as he looked behind him, ever so cautious, calculating, and caring.

“Where are we going?” you asked, trying to focus on the lights spearing the darkness of night.

“The beach,” he replied, switching on his high-beams. “It’s somewhere I go for peace and quiet. Figured it might work for you, too.”

When he rested his hand on the gearshift, large and tantalizingly warm, it took everything in you not to grab it. He might not even notice, and if he did, would he think much of it? Physical affection was rife in your friend group, from Connie swinging his arms around to Sasha giving headpats for even the tiniest achievements. More than once since childhood you’ve fallen asleep in someone’s arms or had someone’s head in your lap while watching a movie. But in the last year there was an electric charge between you and him, a tension not unwelcome between every glance, as if every almost-touch was worth more than gold; his skin would feel wonderful, but oh, it was that almost-touch, fingertips ghosting over knuckles and lips skimming cheeks, that intoxicated you, made you so desperate for him.

“That sounds nice,” you choked out, giving way to the temptation of his hand so close to your leg. You rest yours on top of his, feather-light dragging against the skin. “Thank you.”

Jean swallowed, but gave you a smile, flipping his hand to cage yours underneath his, molding it against the knob of his gearshift. After that he kept his eyes on the road, but it gave you a pass to stare at him, how the moonlight illuminated his features.

The sweet smell of a barbershop filled the air, mingling with the salty spray from the cliffside ocean just to your left. It led you to examine his hair--swept back underneath his backwards baseball cap, his undercut fresh and fuzzy beneath. Where could he have gotten his hair cut at 3 a.m.? He’d likely never tell you, and you’d likely never know, but that was his little mystery to contain, just as you had your own.

Light glinted off the black studs in his ears and the silver chain hooked around his neck. A devil in the details but an angel in this car. Why was he so dressed up so late at night, when you were still in your pajamas? Had he even gone to bed?

Like a good boy he kept his eyes on the road, the only communication when he squeezed your hand when he used it to change gears. He swore he’d teach you how to drive his car one day, but you sensed he liked the control it gave him. He was competitive, if those detention slips and fistfights with Eren taught you anything. He liked being in the know.

Plus, not just anyone drove his car.

Tension mounted until you thought it would break, snapping like steel, but before it could he was smoothing the car to a stop and shifting your hand into park. Ever the gentleman, he got out first and hopped over the hood to your side, opening it with ease. The absence of his hand on yours was sobering, but then he extended it again to help you out of the car, reviving the butterflies, and held it as he led you to the front.

“This ground’s uneven,” he muttered, like it could excuse his actions. “Don’t trip.”

A fall off this cliff would mean certain death, so it was nice he cared. “So considerate,” you whispered, only met with his scoff.

“Yeah, well, if I didn’t have you, then I would be stuck with Connie and Sasha alone,” he moaned. “And don’t get me wrong, I love them to death, but sometimes I need peace and quiet, and you provide that for me. So no, I don’t want you tripping over your own ass and falling off a cliff.”

He flexed his hand so you could feel his strength. A rush washed over you. He trusted himself to keep you safe, and you trusted him, so much that if you had to choose him or the sun, you’d bask in his warmth every single day.

“Thanks. That means a lot.” It was the quietest mumble, but he heard it, deftly running his thumb over your knuckles before pulling away.

By now you were both comfortably settled against the hood of his car, facing the horizon over the edge of the cliff. A familiar spot, though tucked away and hidden from sight of most roads, but stunning, worth the seclusion for the moonrise it allowed you to see. Darkness faded in the light of the moon, bright though crescented, stitched among a canvas of stars above an azure blue sea, stretching out to the end of the world. Almost its own proper working galaxy, a private show from the cosmos that Jean wanted to share with you. At this elevation, you felt like you could reach out and wrap a star in your palm.

If he came here often to think...did this somehow remind him of you?

“This is…perfect,” you said, all air stolen from your lungs at the sight before you. He had somehow both caused and cured your insomnia.

Unbeknownst to you, his gaze lingered on your face, memorizing how wide your smile was, how your features were awash in moonlight, glazed in silver and dripping with saline. And to think he had caused it, he had done something as simple as driving you to a new spot had caused you so much happiness, tugged his stomach in a funny type of way.

“I wanted to share this with you,” he admitted. “I thought it might help.”

“Oh, Jean.” You turned to him, eyes aglow with candelight. “Thank you.”

Just the way you said his name sent a sharp feeling digging into his sides, satisfying, like reaching an itch he couldn’t quite scratch. A million thoughts leapt from his brain onto his tongue--You’re beautiful, I want you, I love you--but he swallowed them down like medicine, letting them burn like lead. If you didn’t feel the same, it would ruin a beautiful moment. He couldn’t do that to you. Not on this night. Not in this special place.

“You’re shivering,” he whispered, and he took off his outer shirt, a button-down one size too big that acted like a jacket over his henley tee, to drape loosely around your shoulders. He liked to layer his outfits; they were like barriers to his heart, yet he shed these layers to keep you warm, to keep you close to him.

“We can share the warmth,” you offered, tilting closer until your head rested against his shoulder and you could feel the nervous breath stuttering in his lungs.

He allowed his eyes to drift down your body, settling on the team logo emblazoned on your chest. The sweater was much too big on you, made for his broad shoulders and not your frame, but it suited you. He smirked, wrapping an arm around your waist, keeping you close--even sitting sedentary, the cliff worried him.

“You’re wearing my sweatshirt.”

“Yep.” You slide the sleeves over your hands, cushioning them to slap at him playfully.

He laughed, dodging your attacks but nimbly grabbing your wrists by the joint. “I’m not getting it back, am I,” he said, more of a defeated statement of fact than a question.

You giggled, and facing him from this angle, it’s like you were wearing the moon as a tiara. “Not unless you wanna see what’s underneath.”

Jean blinked, careful not to betray his surprise, “You’re saucy for three in the morning. What’s gotten into you?”

The playfulness in your core dies down, replaced with that familiar gnawing whenever his skin brushed yours. “Couldn’t sleep,” you shrugged.

When you shimmied your hips, Jean lifted you by the waist and helped you sit on the hood. He leaned back, using his hands to support himself, and despite your new elevation, he stood, all six-foot-two of him, towering over you. You balled your fists, pretending the sight didn’t make your knees weak.

“You know if you can’t sleep, you can always call me, right?” he asked carefully, keeping his eyes on the horizon.

“I don’t wanna bother you. You deserve to sleep, too.”

“You’re more important to me than that.” A hasty swallow, a breathy laugh. “Besides, everyone thinks I’m a big grump anyways, so it only adds to my image.”

“They only think that because you let them,” you said. “Why don’t you let people in? Why don’t you let them see what I see?”

He turned, hazel eyes charged with energy from the night sky. “What do you see, princess?”

“I see my best friend! I see the boy I grew up with now turned into a man, a man with his own morals and sense of truth and loyalty, who would never, ever leave me behind. I see a man too smart for his own good, someone who is capable and strong but doubts himself!” You’re out of breath, but the words just keep tumbling out. “I see a leader, a go-getter, someone honest and compassionate and true, who would die before he lets his friends down. That’s who I see, Jean, I see you as the man I fell in love with and I have no idea where I would be without you in my life.”

Somehow your hands had become entangled around his shoulders, pressing hot against his neck before sliding up his jaw to cup his cheeks, making him look at you shining with tears and love and moonlight. It spilled out of you like water, though your eyes were dry.

And that’s when something funny happened. He looked like he had just been punched in the gut because he had--you made him feel weak, stabbed right through the chink in the armor he so tightly fastened around his heart, but instead of deflating at the intrusion, he blossomed; with you his heart swelled till it burst, showering you in love and adoration and something shining brighter than the moon watching above your heads.

“I thought I’d never hear you say those words,” he gasped, laughing as he leaned his forehead down into yours. “I really--I didn’t--”

“Say what words?” you asked innocently, needing, bleeding, to hear him say it back.

“I love you. Oh my God, I love you so much, come here.”

Jean pulled you close on the hood and kissed you, so dizzying that it was a bit concerning, considering you two were perched on a cliff, but at that moment it didn’t matter; the moon could have dropped out of orbit, the world could have collapsed, you could have fallen from the sky and it wouldn’t have mattered, not as long as his lips were on yours.

He was warm in the cool night air, frenzied as you two fought with and against each other. It was less of a dance and more of a battle as all the tension from all those years rushed from one and into the other. It was all grabbing hands and knocking teeth and clawing fingers; you knocked off his cap as you tangled in his ash brown hair, and he nearly picked you up with how hard he was holding your waist.

Then, when common sense burrowed itself back into his brain, he leaned away, tongue severing the thin string of saliva tethering you. His absence drew a whimper from you as you struggled to open your eyes, so lost and drunk on this feeling, the feeling of finally and forever.

“Jean…” you whined, but he gently shushed you, trailing his thumb over your chin and swiping against your bottom lip before coming up to your cheekbone and caressing the soft skin.

What kind of man was he, kissing the girl he loved for the first time like a random hook-up at a party?

No, you were worth more than that, and you deserved more than that. He was a romantic, and you were his princess; he had to be gentle with you, soft, now that he held your heart in his hands.

“Most beautiful girl in the world,” he hummed, lightly pressing his lips below your ear, met with goosebumps flooding down your skin. “Let me give you a proper kiss.”

And he did. It was good and proper, sweet yet still feisty--this was more like the waltz you had envisioned sharing with him. In this one soft kiss, he let out every sensitive emotion, cupping your face in his hands as if it were glass, drinking from your lips as if you were a fountain that would never ever run dry.

Soft sighs and sounds escaped your diaphragm as you melted in his hands. You ran your fingers gingerly across his well-muscled biceps, dipping onto his chest, before settling contendly at his waist. Caressing him softly, you laved all the love you could into him, like he was the prize you deserved after a hard-fought life.

This was the I love you kiss.

Jean pulled away with a whisper of your name, dropping another kiss to your forehead before wrapping you up in a suffocating hug. “It feels so good to hold you like this,” he cooed, “in my arms, against my chest. Like...like I’ve always dreamed.” He perched his head on top of yours, humming, stroking up and down your back. “If I could stay right here with you forever, I would.”

“We can.”

“But finals…”

You hushed him with another kiss, one that had him laughing and blushing against your lips.

“Okay,” he grinned. “No finals talk. Not tonight.”

He squeezed you closer as the wind blew harder--the one downside of living on a cliffside beach--and you nosed along his neck. “Are you cold?”

Despite his shaking head, you squirmed out of his embrace and began peeling off the shirt he had given you, but he gently stopped your hands, intertwining them with his.

“Keep it. You look good wearing my clothes,” he said, to which you had a physical reaction to his sincerity.

“Aww, you’re blushing like a rose.” He leaned down and pecked the space between your eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed. ‘S cute, princess.”

“Gonna keep calling me that?”

“Mmmhm.” He kissed the tip of your nose, a self-satisfied smirk playing on his lips. “Because you’re my pretty little flower, my princess. For as long as you’ll have me.”

“That will be a very long time, my love.”

This cliff high above the waves was made for childhood friends, for the lovers who always knew but couldn’t act, for the breathless and wild, for the safe and secure, a place to talk and dream and adore in the other’s arms, kissed by moonlight and blessed by the stars.

Kofi

#aot #jean kirschtein #jean kirschtein x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan #jean kirschtein x you #snk #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #jean kirstein

112 notes · View notes

kazooms · 3 years

Text

Tbz Hyung Line x gn reader▪︎fluff, suggestive▪︎wc.: 718

"Kissing my Best Friend" Tiktok trend gone right (Part 1/3)

Sangyeon

Sangyeon doesn't use tiktok that much, I think, so he probably wouldn't know about the trend to begin with

You've been planning to kinda confess to him after years of great friendship, but you never found it in yourself to do so

Then you stumbled upon that tiktok trend one day and decided on a whim to do that too, just without filming it

Sangyeon and you were having a chill sleepover at his place anyway so you thought you might as well try and shoot your shot

The two of you were sitting on his couch and watching some random TV show, mostly for background noise though, since you were talking about whatever came to mind

At some point you two were engulfed in a pleasant silence, and you were itching to just get it over with already

You turn your head to do it, but you're met with Sangyeon's face only centimeters away from yours

He notices the way you freeze and snickers before closing the distance and just kissing you

Because he had actually planned the same thing, though not because of some trend

Jacob

Helpp he's probably glued to tiktok the second he opens that damn app

He doesn't open it that often, but when he does he spends all his time on there until his battery dies

So naturally he just knows about certain trends, though he just opts to scroll through them instead of taking part

But this time he thought it would be worth a try and film it secretly, just for himself

He knows you're always on time, so he sets up his phone near the front door to perfectly catch the door and him in the frame

You're surprised when the door flies open not even a second after you knock, a giddy Jacob coming into view

"Hey Co-"

He cut you off unexpectedly, pulling you close by your waist and kissing you

For a second you're frozen, but quickly regain your senses when he's about to pull away

You hinder him by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in again

Younghoon

Younghoon loves tiktok, even though he's not too confident in his English

He enjoys watching the trends for hours on end and sometimes reenacting them if he feels like it

Maybe you'll join him occasionally on some weird dance challenge, only to laugh your asses off afterwards

But the trend he currently eyes isn't like the others

At one point he asked you to join him once again and of course you did without question

You haven't been up to date with that trend yet so you asked him what it was about when the music started

"You'll see" is all he says before suddenly grabbing your neck and pulling you in for a kiss

The reaction is almost automatic when your arms sling around his neck and you bury a hand in his hair

It escalated to the point where you were full on making out on camera when it dawned on him

In the end you laughed about it

Younghoon secretly saved the video 🥴

Hyunjae

You're kind of an addict when it comes to tiktok, the complete opposite of your best friend

He doesn't think much of the app, but he loves it when you send him random funny videos or cool trend videos

But you kind of slipped when you sent a link to a "kissing my best friend" video to Hyunjae instead of your girl best friend, because both their names were at the top of your list

In your panicked state you tried deleting the message, but instead of deleting it for both of you…. You accidentally deleted it just for you

A look of panic crosses your features when you see Hyunjae from opposite of you open the link and raise his brows before looking at you

"I can ex-"

"If you wanted to kiss me so bad, you could've just done it, you know" He remarks casually, although his own heart felt like beating out of his chest

You hide your face in your hands out of embarrassment, not hearing Hyunjae get up

You can't even react when your hands are pried off your face and your best friend presses his lips to yours without hesitation

Taglist: @donghanies @trashlord-007 @moonshineboyz

241 notes · View notes

thetravelerwrites · 3 years

Text

Errol (Naga) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Female Human/Male Naga Additional Tags: Cheating, Infidelity, Break-ups, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Secretly In Love, Angst, Sex, Breeding, Pregnancy Kink, Dom/Sub, Ovipositor, Oviposition, Pregnancy, Babies, Eggs, Egg Laying Words: 7887

A commission for @anjhope1! After catching her fiance cheating, the reader breaks up with him and goes home miserable. The ex-fiance's brother, Errol, arrives on his brother's order to get his things from her apartment, but Errol is more interested in taking care of the reader and making sure she's okay. It leads to some confusing feelings and a confession. Please reblog leave feedback!

The Traveler’s Masterlist

You’d had your suspicions for a while, but it wasn’t until you got the message on social media from a girl he’d dated and dumped who had photographic proof of it that you finally had to face the truth.

Your fiance was cheating on you.

Eric was a naga and had been with you for more than five years. He had asked you to marry him, ring and all, on New Years Eve with his family. He had made a big show of it, too. And now, you were going to have to confront him about being a cheating bastard.

The woman who had been dumped told you that he was now dating her friend, and she had gotten the room number where they were supposed to meet. You got to the hotel with your heart in your throat and knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” That was definitely Eric’s voice. He had told you that his friend needed help moving and that he’d be staying over to help him. What a good friend he was.

You deepened your voice in an effort to mask it. “Room service.”

“Oh, good, I was wondering if you were ever going to come,” Eric said, and the door swung open. As soon as he saw you, the blood drained out of his already pale face.

“No, wait--”

“Hey, babe, did they bring the right wine this time?” A female voice said from inside.

You took off your ring and threw it in his face and called inside the room, “You can have the bastard.” And walked away.

“Wait, please, this isn’t what you think,” Eric said, slithering quickly down the hall to catch you. He grabbed your arm and you wrenched it violently out of his grasp.

“Babe, who’s this?” The woman said. She was human and pretty, you guessed.

“I’m his fiance,” You retorted. “Oh, sorry, ex-fiance. Don’t worry, he’s all yours.”

“What the fuck, Eric?!” She shouted at him. “Are you kidding me?”

“Rachel, it’s not…” He stuttered. “It isn’t…”

Rachel slapped him and pushed past you toward the elevator, not looking back.

“Babe--” He started, turning back toward you.

“Don’t you dare call me ‘babe,’ you son of a bitch. Why? Why would you do this to me? Why would you waste five fucking years of my life?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you--”

“I don’t give a shit what you meant to do! I want an explanation. Was the sex bad? Do you not love me anymore? Are you just the type of person who has to have a side-chick? What? What about this is good for you? What about all this made destroying our relationship worth it?”

He groaned and scratched his head with both hands. “I… It… I can be anything I want to be with those girls, you know? If I say I’m rich, then I’m rich. If I say I’m successful, then I’m successful, and they don’t know better. They don’t know I have a shitty job that I hate. They don’t know that my girlfriend makes twice as much money as me, that she’s popular with people and everyone likes her better than me, even my own fucking family. They don’t know what a fucking loser I am.”

“And that’s my fucking fault?!” You screamed at him. “You know what you could have done instead of ruining a five year relationship? Gotten fucking therapy! Or, better yet, talked to me about it! I have been nothing but supportive of you. I have encouraged you to leave your job and find a better one. I told you I would support you until you found something that made you happy. You could have gone back to school or done and apprenticeship or vocational work, whatever, and I’d have been there! You could do whatever you wanted, and I would have helped you, and you know that!”

“Right, because you so fucking perfect, huh?” He yelled back. “It’s not enough that you rub your perfect job in my face every day and go around spending whatever you want because you don’t have to worry about money, but you also have to be perfectly supportive and perfectly giving and perfectly loving, too, right? How am I supposed to feel good about myself when you’re always better than me at everything?”

“So, it’s my fault you’re cheating on me because I’m a good girlfriend? Is that what you’re saying to me? I’m too fucking nice, so you had to put your dick in random women to feel better about yourself?” You raised your hands as if surrendering and shook your head in disbelief. “You know what? Fucking forget me. Forget our relationship, forget getting married, forget you ever knew me, forget my fucking face, don’t ever come to my house, don’t ever message me again, delete my number from your phone. As far as you’re concerned, I don’t exist to you, because you sure as shit don’t exist to me anymore.” You turned to leave.

“What about my stuff?” He protested.

“Send your brother to come get your shit,” You said without turning. “If you set foot on my property, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing. I’m not fucking around. I’m so fucking glad you never moved in when I offered. ”

“So that’s it?” He said as you waited for the elevator to come back up. “You’re not even willing to work this out? It’s just over?”

“Get fucked, Eric,” You said, stepping into the elevator. “Oh wait, you already did. Do yourself a favor and sell that ring to pay for a therapist.” And the door closed on him.

As soon as the elevator started to move, you hit the floor and sobbed. Why? Why was he like this? You thought everything was perfect up until a few months ago, and you hadn’t know he felt like this. He always seemed happy. How were you supposed to know otherwise if he never said anything?

How you got back home, you didn’t know, because you didn’t remember it. You grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the freezer and didn’t even bother with a glass. For about an hour, you just sat there disheveled on your couch, crying and drinking.

Sometime later, there was a sheepish knock on your door. You hoped to God that it wasn’t Eric, but when you opened the door, Errol was there. Errol, Eric, and their sister Enya, were all from the same clutch of eggs, so he looked a lot like his brother in that they all had white, black, gold scales, golden eyes, cream colored skin, and blond hair. Errol was a bit larger that Eric, and where Eric wore his hair short, Errol kept his long and braided back. You always thought that it made him look elegant, despite his size. He was still wearing his work clothes, as if he’d just come from his construction job.

You and Errol hadn’t spent much time together alone, since Eric was a little jealous of other men. He’d always been very nice to you, though, and liked you just as well as the rest of his family. He’d even given you advice a few times in the past when you and Eric were fighting.

“Can I come in?” He asked, wincing.

“Did you know?” You asked him, your throat raw and hoarse from crying.

“No, I didn’t know,” He said solemnly.

“Don’t bullshit me, Errol,” You replied harshly.

“I swear I didn’t know. I would have told you, I promise. My brother can be an asshole, but I never thought he would do something like this.” Errol grimaced. “Are you okay?”

“Do I fucking look okay?” You retorted, your voice shaking as the tears returned. “If you’ve come to get his stuff, just get it and leave.”

“I couldn’t give less of a shit about his stuff, I’m here for you,” Errol said. He held up a couple of plastic bags. “I brought take out and ice cream.”

“I’m not hungry,” You said vaguely, but you moved aside to let him in.

“I got alcohol, too,” He said as he slithered inside. “I could make you a Bailey’s float.”

You sighed and sniffled. “Okay.”

You sat at your table as he bustled around making the drink, laying your tear-flushed face on the cool surface of the wood.

“What did I do wrong?” You asked weepily with your cheek pressed against the table.

“Nothing,” Errol said as he lay the glass in front of you, moving a chair so that he could coil up next to the table. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why did he do it?” You asked, sitting up and taking a watery bite of the ice cream. “Why wasn’t I enough? He said ‘girls,’ which means there’s probably more than the two I know about. How long has he been doing this? Our whole relationship?”

“When he called me to come over here and get his stuff for him, I asked. I’m not sure if he was telling me the truth, but he said it’s only been the last year.” Errol snorted derisively. “Only.”

“How many girls?” You asked.

He shook his head. “He wouldn’t tell me. He kept trying to get me to side with him, but…” Errol rolled his eyes. “I’m not buying anything he says right now.”

“Did he do this to his other girlfriends?”

“Well, you were his first serious girlfriend,” Errol said. “Before you, he only dated casually, so it was never a problem. When he said he really loved you, I thought he meant it.”

“Yeah.” Your lip quivered and you stabbed the spoon into your float. “Me too.”

Errol reached out and pulled you into a tight hug, which you sank into and let loose again, soaking his shirt in tears.

“I’m so sorry,” Errol whispered into your hair.

At some point, Errol put you to bed. You were exhausted and drunk and just wanted to sleep, so he lay you down and left you to it.

When the morning came, you felt like your head had been run over with a truck. You decided to get some coffee going before taking a shower, but to your surprise, Errol was still there. He was in the kitchen on the phone, his hair out of it’s usual braid and tumbling down his shoulders.

“What the hell is wrong with you, dude?” Errol said. You immediately realized he was talking to his brother. “No, I’m not picking up your shit. I don’t care if she burns it all.” He was silent for a moment, and you could hear Eric speaking. “No… No, you’re full of shit. Do you know what a good thing you had? Do you have any idea what I would give to have what you just shit on? …fuck no, I’m not going to talk her into taking you back, are you insane?! Get over yourself… No… No, it’s not happening, you can go fuck yourself right now… Look, I don’t have time for your bullshit right now.”

Errol hung up and turned, startled to realize you were standing there. “Oh, hey,” He said. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” You replied honestly. “I didn’t know you were still here.”

“Yeah, you were in bad shape last night and I didn’t want to leave you alone. I slept on the couch, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, no, that’s fine,” You said. “I was just going to make coffee.”

“Oh, I already made some,” He said, going to the coffee pot and pouring you a mugful. “I figured you could use it. I’ve got breakfast coming too, something greasy to absorb all that alcohol.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” You said, sipping the coffee. It was really good, but not your normal brand, though it tasted very familiar. Actually, now that you thought about it, you always drank the gross coffee Eric liked. This was a nice change. “I’m going to take a shower and wash last night off of me. Are you okay here?”

“Yeah, yeah, take your time,” He said, turning to pull down plates and prepare for breakfast.

You were about to turn to the bathroom but stopped. “Errol.”

He looked back up at you. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for… thanks.”

He smiled at you. “It’s no problem at all.”

You took your shower with your head pressed against the tile. Why couldn’t you just forget? Why couldn’t you put all of it out of your mind and stop thinking about it? What would it take to make the pain stop?

The water was cold by the time you got out, and when you went back into the kitchen, the food had arrived and Errol had everything set out on the table. He looked up anxiously when you came in.

“You okay?” He said, concerned. “You were in there for a worryingly long time. I was thinking about going in there if you hadn’t come out in five minutes.”

“I’m fine. Well, not fine, but you know.”

“Yeah,” He said sympathetically. “Try to eat. All you had last night were two bites of ice cream and a lot of alcohol.”

You picked up your fork and speared a sausage. “I must look horrible.”

“Nope, not possible,” He said, tucking into his own plate of food. “A person can look tired and cute at the same time, you know.”

You snorted, prodding your puffy face gently. “You’re too nice. Maybe I should have dated you instead.”

He laughed. “You know, it’s actually kinda funny, I was going to ask you out back in college before you started dating Eric.”

“Really?” You asked, surprised.

“Yeah, he kind of sniped you, if I’m being honest.”

“I never knew that,” You said. “Did he know you wanted to ask me out?”

“Oh, yeah, I told him,” He said, shoveling eggs into his mouth. “I told him there was a girl at my college who always went to this one coffee shop near campus, and I told him I was going buy you your favorite coffee and cookies as an icebreaker.”

Your head rocked back. “That’s exactly what he did when he asked me out.”

Errol tsked sardonically. “Yeah. I know.”

You scoffed. “Wow, what an absolute asshole.”

Errol shrugged and smiled. “Ancient history now. Do you want some more coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks,” You said as he filled your cup. “This is really good, what is it?”

“Orange and almond mocha.”

You cocked your head. “Wait… isn’t that the blend I drank at the coffee shop? It used to be my favorite.”

“I know,” He said. “I ordered some. I thought it might be a nice pick-me-up. The shit that Eric drinks is revolting.”

“That’s definitely true,” You said, looking at Errol closely. “You remembered what my favorite coffee blend was from five years ago?”

Errol looked up at you. His face seemed carefully blank.

“Yeah, but I mean, it’s no big deal.” He wiped his mouth and sat back. “I should get going, I have work in a few hours. Are you going to be okay here on your own?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I think I’m going to take some personal days.”

Errol nodded.”That’s a good idea. I’ll call later to check on you, okay? If you need anything, just text me.”

“Okay,” You said, feeling a little off-balance.

Errol smiled and let himself out, and you were left standing there, staring after him as an overwhelming sense of realization hit you like a freight train.

…did I date the wrong brother all this time?

Later in the day, Eric called. You almost weren’t going to pick up, but you decided to see what he had to say for himself now that the heat of the moment had passed.

“What do you want?” You said brusquely.

“Why did my brother spend the night at your house last night?” Eric said immediately.

“...excuse me?” You replied, incredulous.

“You heard me. What the fuck was he doing there?”

“I don’t see how that is any of your business.”

“What do you mean, it’s not my business? He’s my brother and you’re my fiance!”

“Ex-fiance,” You corrected him. “First of all, you are the one who told him to come over in the first place. Secondly, I was not obviously doing well last night and he stayed to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid or die in my sleep of alcohol poisoning. And third, and I cannot stress this enough, it’s none of your fucking business.”

“Don’t bullshit me, you know he’s in love with you.”

Your head snapped back in agitation. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, you really don’t know? Ms. Perfect doesn’t know that my asshole brother has had a crush on you for years?”

“You’re full of shit, Eric,” You retorted. “Don’t drag Errol into this.”

“Did you just decide to fuck my brother to get back at me, is that it?”

“Fuck you, Eric!” You hung up the phone and hit the floor, a wave of anguish washing you again. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he have to make everything worse?

The phone rang again, and it was Eric. You decided to block him and be done with it. You got a notification from Facebook, and then Twitter, and then Instagram, all from Eric. Every new notification made your anxiety rise higher and higher until you were balled up on the floor, sobbing again. In desperation, she dialed Errol’s number.

“Hello?”

“Please help,” She begged, weeping. “He won’t leave me alone. He keeps messaging me and calling me. I can’t… I can’t do it…”

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry,” Errol said. He sounded angry.

“Can you come over? Please?”

“Of course, I’ll be right there.”

“Okay. I’m going to turn off my phone.”

“That’s a good idea,” He said. “If I need to, I can message you on your gaming console.”

“Okay,” You said. “Bye.”

He hung up with you and you turned your phone off, sitting on the floor of your kitchen in the blissful silence, unable to get up.

Was that true? Could it be possible that Errol had been in love with you the whole time you’d been dating Eric? He said he’d wanted to ask you out. He remembered tiny details, like what your favorite coffee had been. He made you your favorite dessert when you were miserable without even having to ask what it was. He stayed overnight to make sure you didn’t get hurt or hurt yourself. He bought breakfast and defended you. He didn’t have to do any of that. He was just your fiance’s brother. Ex-fiance.

He arrived shortly after you called him. As soon as he entered the house, before he had a chance to say anything, you reached up, took his face in your hands, and kissed him. For a second or two, there was no reaction, but then he leaned into the kiss, deepening it, savoring it, before abruptly putting his hands on your shoulders and pushing you back, forcing you to look him in the eye.

“...why did you do that?” He asked you, his face grim.

“Eric told me,” You said. “He said you’ve been in love with me the entire time I was dating him. Is that true?”

Errol looked down and away. “Look--”

“You told Eric on the phone that you’d have given anything to have what he had. You meant me, right?”

“Please don’t do this.”

“Errol, look at me!” You shouted.

It seemed to take a lot of will, but Errol’s eyes flicked back up to meet yours. They were pleading with you.

“Do you love me?”

His face scrunched as if he were in pain and he swallowed hard, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t…

“Don’t…lie to me,” You said in a tense whisper, tears spilling from your eyes. “Do you?”

Tears began to gather in his own eyes. His response was barely audible.

“…yes.”

“For how long?”

“Since I first saw you in the coffee shop.”

You tried to press forward to kiss him again, but he held you firm, sniffing. A tear rolled down his cheek.

“But I don’t want to be used to get revenge on my brother,” He whispered back, his voice strangled and uneven. “It’s not good for you and it’s not fair to me. You know that.”

Your face crumpled. He was right.

“I’m sorry,” You sobbed, unable to look at him anymore. “I just don’t want to think about him anymore. I don’t want him in my head.”

Finally, Errol pulled you into a hug.

“I know,” He said. His body was tense, as if he were restraining himself. “We can revisit this later. Much later.”

“When?” You asked piteously.

“Not now. Not soon. You need time to heal and I… need to think.”

“I’m sorry, Errol,” You cried into his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never saw it.”

He laughed slightly. “It’s not your fault. I got really good at hiding it. And Eric always kept you at arms length from me. I think he was afraid I’d steal you away or something.”

He let you go and you stepped away, looking at the ground in shame.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like I was using you,” You said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He put his hand under his chin and made you look up at him, his thumb stroking your cheek. “For what it’s worth, I’m relieved the secret is out now. Tiptoeing around you and Eric was exhausting. The engagement was my worst nightmare, because it meant I’d have to just suffer in silence forever.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s over for both our sakes, then,” You said, attempting to smile.

He smiled too, but it was very soft. Gentle. “I don’t… think it’s a good idea for us to hang out together much from now on, at least for a while,” He said, letting go. “But… we can text. We can call. If you need anything, I’m always here for you. That’s always been true.”

You nodded. “I know.” You sighed and took another step back. “I’m going to miss you.”

His smile widened sadly. “I’m not far, but… I know what you mean.”

With the both of you in tears, he turned, opened the door, and was gone. Thirty seconds after he left, however, you got a text.

>Are you okay?

You smiled through your tears, feeling glad and grateful that he was still communicating with you. >No. But I think I will be.

>Good.

>Are you okay? You asked in return.

>Honestly, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. This was a lot at once.

>Yeah, no kidding. I think I may see a therapist to help me out.

>That’s a really good idea. Maybe I should too.

>I think everyone should at least once.

>Yeah. Do you need anything?

>No, I’m okay. Thank you for everything, Errol.

>It’s my pleasure.

Some time passed. You and Errol talked and texted every single day. Neither of you brought up dating each other and carefully avoided affectionate language. He wanted you to heal and you wanted to give him a fair chance without the cloud of his brother hanging over you.

Talking to him was effortless, like talking to yourself. You each had your own tastes and dislikes, but you both loved a lot of the same things and had similar desires. You both loved your jobs, enjoyed the same music, gushed over books you’d read, and liked playing board games. One of your favorite things to do was watch movies remotely over Zoom. It was almost like being on a date, even if you couldn’t be together.

As hard as you tried not to, you compared everything Errol did to Eric. Even still, it was obvious that Errol had always been better suited to you than Eric ever was. It was abundantly clear that you had indeed been dating the wrong brother the entire time.

On what was supposed to be your anniversary with Eric, Errol sent you a link to play a horror game with him. Errol hated anything horror, so instead of spending the day crying and drinking and cursing Eric for being alive, you got to laugh the whole day at how loud Errol screamed when he was startled. It ended up being a wonderful day.

You did see a therapist, as did Errol, and the two of you would talk about your sessions with each other, sharing the advice the counselors had given you. He also sent you gifts through delivery, like the coffee you loved and your favorite treats. Whenever you’d had a bad day or had to deal with Eric due to post-breakup business, a treat would arrive the next day, and it always put a smile on your face.

You were worried that all the time apart might change how Errol felt, but he never wavered. You woke up every day to a text saying good morning, and went to bed after talking to him for at least an hour about your day. After a month, you realized that a day or two would go by when you wouldn’t think of Eric at all. You hadn’t thought that would be possible when you first broke up with Eric, and he did still haunt your thoughts most of the time, but the respite from the emotional distress of thinking of him, even for a short time, was wonderful.

Three months after the breakup and his confession, you, Errol, and your therapists all decided that you were ready to date again. That same day, Errol showed up on your doorstep with flowers. The sight of him was like breathing fresh air after being underwater.

“Hi,” He said, smiling brightly.

“Hi,” You replied, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. He reciprocated without hesitation.

“So…” He said, not letting go. “Do you want to go out with me tonight?”

“Yes,” You said, cuddling him closer.

He pulled back and kissed you for a very long time, tasting your lips and teasing his tongue just inside your mouth. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours and just looked at your face, touching your cheeks with his fingertips. Eventually he stepped back.

“Let’s go.”

Dating him was amazing. He knew everything there was to know about you, so he took you to places you loved, to all your favorite restaurants, to concerts he knew you’d enjoy. It was like you’d been dating for years already, even though it was just a few weeks. You made out like teenagers, hot and heavy, but he was careful about being intimate too quickly, though, still fearful about being a rebound. You respected that.

You were already talking about the future, though. You both wanted to get married eventually and to be parents before you turned thirty. Before breaking up, you had been talking about having kids with Eric, which was something he had expressed interest in during the start of your relationship, but recently he had been making excuses, like he didn’t have enough in savings or he didn’t feel ready. You guessed you knew why now.

You were worried that his family would be angry with you for ending your relationship with Eric and dating Errol, but they seemed completely understanding. It was likely they were also aware that Errol had been in love with you forever, and the fact that Eric cheated on you wasn’t something they were proud of. You were still warmly invited to all the family gatherings with Errol, and while having Eric there was a little awkward, his seething anger at seeing you happy with Errol was the best revenge you could have asked for.

“They let everyone in the office have the day off. Do you want to hang out today?” You asked Errol one night after about a month and a half of dating.

“Ordinarily I’d love to, but I’m feeling kinda weird today. Squishy. I think I’m going to have my period soon.”

He wasn’t being hyperbolic; nagas with male sex organs both created the eggs and fertilized them, but they didn’t have a womb or cavity in their bodies where the eggs could incubate, which is why they needed people with uteruses to propagate the species. It took a month for the eggs to develop inside them, but after that, they could implant them into another person’s body at any time they chose. However, after a year, the eggs died naturally and were expelled from their bodies, therefore, male nagas experienced periods once a year. Eric usually went to a specialized facility where the eggs would be humanely disposed of.

“Are you sure? Isn’t it rather soon for that.”

“I went into heat last week. The eggs usually die quickly after that.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize,” You said. “Why did you go into heat? That typically only happens when nagas in a sexual relationship with someone, right?”

“That, and if you’re experiencing extreme sexual needs that aren’t being met.”

“Oh. Ohhh…” You hissed in a breath. “Is it because of me?”

“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” He reassured you. “It’s my problem. I’ll take care of it.”

You were silent for a moment of deep contemplation. He seemed to sense you were thinking about something.

“What’s the matter?” He asked.

“Do you think the eggs are still viable?”

It was his turn to be silent. “Um… maybe. Probably. I think it’ll be another week before I need to go in to evacuate them. Why do you ask?”

“I was just thinking…” You said slowly. “We both said we wanted kids. And I know we’re just starting out, and this is super sudden, and it probably doesn’t even make sense to do this now, and we haven’t even had sex yet, but… oh, god, I’m rambling…” You sighed heavily. “If you’d like, we can wait until next year when we’ve been together for longer, but… it just seems like this is a good opportunity. It… feels right, you know what I mean? If that’s what you want.”

He took another moment of silence to think really hard about what you were saying. “Are you sure about this, honey?” He asked you finally.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” You said resolutely. “I love you, and I’m in a good place, both emotionally and financially. I’m ready to be a mom. I have been for years.” You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt anxiously. “Is this something you want? I mean… I totally understand if it isn’t. If you want to wait, that’s fine with me. I just… I want to do this.”

His voice turned sultry. “You really want my eggs?”

You grinned and bit your lip. You’d learned through hints in conversations you had with him that he had a little bit of a breeding and pregnancy kink.

“Yeah. But we should act fast if we want them to take.”

“I’ll be right over,” He said, and the phone clicked.

You immediately went into the bathroom to get ready, feeling nervous. There was a weight of expectation on you, not just because you were talking about getting pregnant, but also because of how long Errol had wanted to be with you. You were scared that you wouldn’t live up to his expectation.

He arrived shortly after, looking excited and nervous. You pulled him into your arms and kissed him. He was shaking.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“Yeah,” He said, touching your face reverently. “I’ve just… I’ve been dreaming of this for so long. I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”

You smiled softly at him. “Come on.” You took him by the hand and pulled him toward the bedroom. He took a deep, shaky breath and followed.

Once in the room, he pulled you in and kissed you again, deeper this time, more probing, his body pressed flush against yours.

“I’m not sure how to… begin…” He said. “I don’t know what you like and don’t like yet.”

“We can learn as we go,” You said. “We don’t have to rush.”

“Well, what do you like? Do you have any kinks I should know about?”

You laughed. “I have a few, I guess.”

“Tell me about one,” He said.

Instead of telling, you knelt down and sat on your knees with your butt resting on your feet, perched forward on your hands, and looked up at him through your lashes.

“What would you like me to do for you?” You asked, biting your lip.

His eyebrows rose and a startled smile spread across his face. “Oh,” He said. Slowly, he took off his long shirt, exposing his torso and the slit on his lower abdomen, usually closed and imperceptible from his scales, but now swollen and puckered slightly. He ran his fingers through your hair where you were crouched on the floor and came close, so that his slit was near your face.

“Touch it for me, sweetie,” He said.

Gently, you circled one finger around the slit, feeling it pulse under your touch. He exhaled sharply and his head fell back, his braid swinging. With your forefinger and middle finger, you stroked it up and down, watching it open slowly. You leaned forward and kissed it, and he spasmed, groaning.

Gradually, two dicks emerged from his slit, a long, thin one with a spear-like head, and a shorter, thick one with a bulbous head. You knew each had a different purpose. Normally, the thin one would be retracted so that nagas could just enjoy sex, but the thin one was an ovipositor. It’s what implanted the eggs. You knew not to touch it, since it secreted a numbing agent that made implanting the eggs easier.

“Now?” You asked.

“Not yet,” He said. “You’re not ready yet. Stand up.”

You obeyed, and he began to undress you. You started to help, but he said, “No, no, let me do it.”

You put your arms back down and let him peel your clothes off. And then he just looked at you.

“Stand still,” He said. “Stay quiet.”

You nodded, obeying.

“Good girl,” He whispered. “That’s my good girl.”

He started with your shoulders, letting his fingers run over your skin, down your arms, up your sides, caressing your breasts, down your belly, and reached one hand between your legs. You gasped.

“Shh,” He said. “Stay silent.”

It was a hard order to follow, as he touched your pearl and massaged it slowly, running a finger inside your slit as he did. Your breathing was uneven and you had to bite a finger, but you managed to be quiet.

“You can make all the noise you want soon,” He promised seductively. “I just want to test how good you can be for me.”

You nodded again, your body shivering at his touch.

He brought his face very close to yours, so that your lips were mere millimeters apart, but stopped short of actually kissing you. You could feel his cool breath on your neck and chest, and it made your heart race.

“You’re getting there,” He said, pushing a finger inside your entrance. You inhaled, but bit down on your cheek to stay silent.

“Good girl,” He said, pulling his finger out. "Lay face down on the bed and lift your ass up. Spread your legs open.”

You nodded again and followed his orders, doing exactly what he asked of you. He slithered up behind you and went back to touching between your legs with one hand, the other sliding up and down your spine. You felt him sink down and kiss your thighs.

“You can moan for me, darling,” He said.

You were happy to obey, and whimpered against your pillow as he licked a long stripe from behind, kneading your buttocks as he did. He moaned as he sucked on you, your legs shaking. He pressed his thumb into you as he sucked, and you thought you were going to cum. He stopped just before that happened, leaving you feeling desperate.

“Good,” He said. “You’re perfect.” He crawled over you from the back so that his face was next to yours and he kissed you. “Are you still sure about this? We can just have sex, I don’t have to breed you.”

“You want to, don’t you?”

“Don’t worry about what I want right now, are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes,” You simpered. “I want it. Give them to me. Please. I want them.”

He bit his lip, looked at you like you were something he wanted to eat, and grinned. “Good girl.” He went out of view then, and you felt his hands on your hips.

“Be still,” He said. “Let me in.”

You nodded, and felt the slim tube enter your body. The anesthetic began working immediately, so you only had a vague sensation of it pushing all the way in, penetrating your womb, and fixing itself there.

“Are you hurting, love?” He asked as he lay over you, putting his arm under your head so that you could lay on it and resting his body on top of you. Your hips were still in the air and your stomach wasn’t touching the bed.

“No, I’m okay,” You replied.

“Good,” He said, sounding a bit strained, his body tensing. His stuttering breath blew through your hair. “It’s starting.”

He grunted, but you couldn’t tell if it was in pleasure or pain. His breathing was sharp and punctuated as the egg moved down through the ovipositor and into you. You could feel a small swell in your stomach, but it wasn’t painful. He pressed his forehead against your shoulder and relaxed and shuddered, gasping.

“Did it hurt?” You asked.

“Not exactly,” He replied a little breathlessly. “It feels good, but it’s also a bit of work to push it out. Sorry this isn’t as sexy as you might have hoped.”

“Who said it wasn’t?” You replied, nuzzling him. “It’s like a special kind of foreplay. Besides, I’m really enjoying all the sounds that are coming out of you.”

“I can feel that,” He said, laughing. “You keep squeezing me.” He tensed again and started grunting, hugging you tightly.

“You’re doing great,” You told him.

“This is… harder than I thought it would be,” He said stiltedly. You could feel the sweat from his brow dripping on your skin.

“You can do it,” You said, kissing his arm as it gripped you and biting his thumb. “How many do you think there are?”

“I think three,” He said. He exhaled forcefully, and you felt another swell slip into you as he panted.

“One more, honey,” You said. “Deep breaths.”

He snickered, and then groaned. “Okay…” He said. He gripped you hard as the last one came and passed through. You were beginning to feel a full sensation in your belly and felt glad this was the last one.

Once it was out, the ovipositor retracted and he flopped onto the bed, gasping like a fish.

“Whoa,” He said. “Laying them in a person is way different than disposing of them.”

“How so?” You asked, moving to lie on your side so that you could touch him. He was clammy and cold.

“That felt great,” He said, looking over at you and smiling. “Like, it hurt a bit, but it felt like a small orgasm every time.”

“Probably a biological incentive to procreate,” You said, kissing his chest and neck.

He snorted. “Probably.” He looked at you with his eyes half lidded. “It’s going to be a few minutes until you get the feeling back down there. Why don’t you spend some time and play with me?”

“Is that an order?” You asked.

“Do you want me to punish you?” He asked.

“Maybe I’ll like it,” You said with a smirk.

He took you by the chin and made you look down at the second, larger cock, which was still erect and bobbing. “Touch me.”

You went down and sat astride his tail so that he could watch you take his cock in your hand, and begin to slowly pump it up and down.

“Hmm, that’s good,” He said with a satisfied sigh. “Let me know when your feeling comes back. We don’t want to waste time.”

“I will,” You said, stroking him. Your stomach felt tight, so you rubbed it as you touched him, drawing his eye. He watched you hungrily.

“I can’t believe you did that,” He said, smiling at you.

“We’re only half-way there,” You told him. “Don’t get too excited.”

He bucked his tail and nearly knocked you over onto the bed, making you shriek and laugh.

After a few minutes of teasing and touching and good-natured laughter, the feeling began to return. You started rocking on his tail to be sure, and realized that you were extremely sensitive.

“It’s back?” He asked

You nodded, pleasuring yourself against his body.

“Good. Lay down.”

You obeyed, and he moved to lay on top of you, his tail between your legs and his slit lining up with yours, kissing you deeply and rolling your nipples in his fingers. He pushed himself inside you as he kissed you, careful not to go too deep, as the ovipositor had made you a little sore. You rolled your body against his in time with his thrusts. You were so sensitive that you could already feel the crest of ecstasy beginning to wash over you.

“I love you so much,” He whispered against your skin. “I’m so happy.”

“I love you,” You replied, your hands in his hair as he moved inside you with purpose, precision. “I’m close. I’m so close.”

He stopped immediately, and you groaned shrilly, the sensation of denial sending a shiver up your back.

“Not yet,” He said, biting your lower lip. “Not until I say. Be a good girl.”

You nodded, panting and trembling, but your body was betraying you, writhing desperately against him, trying to regain the friction.

“Be still,” He said. “I’m not going to move again until you be still.”

You squealed in need, but you did your best to make your body stop clutching at him. It took a minute, but you managed to settle down.

“Good,” He said, slowly moving inside you again. “Good girl.”

“Cum inside me,” You begged. “Please.”

“I will,” He said, kissing you. “When I want to. Be patient and I’ll reward you.”

Your body was wound so tightly that you thought you were going to explode, practically vibrating underneath him. The sight of it made him grin.

“You’re so beautiful,” He said, licking your earlobe, still keeping the maddeningly slow pace. “Do you want it that bad?”

“Yes!” You groaned. “Yes, please. Errol, please.”

He thrust sharply, but not hard, and you nearly came undone. You cried out, about to snap like a string.

“Are you always going to be a good girl for me?” He whispered sinfully.

“Yes!”

“Do you promise me?”

“Yes!”

“Say it. Say ‘I promise.’”

“I promise, I promise, please!”

His thrusts became targeted again. “Beg me some more.”

“Errol, please! Please let me cum, please!” You cried. Every muscle, every nerve in your body was screaming for release.

“You can cum when I tell you to,” He said, though his movements were extremely efficient now. He was very good at drawing this out.

“I can’t take it, please!” You begged.

“One more time, say you love me, and I’ll give you what you want.”

“I love you! I love you so much! Please!”

From there, he wasted no time, slamming himself into you with speed. In no time at all, you were a screaming, shaking mess underneath him, thanking him over and over. The tension in his body and the sudden shout and moaning from him told you that he had reached his peak too.

“Not yet,” He gasped, rearing up. “I’m not done yet.”

He had leaned up so that he could look down at you and put his hand on your stomach, feeling the new hardness there. He kept going, pistoning against your body, snapping his hips against you, and rode the wave for a second time, all focus and concentration.

The both of you came one final time before he collapsed on the bed beside you, sucking in air as hard as you were. For a few minutes, all you could do was breathe.

After some time, he left the bed and went into the bathroom, and you heard the water in the tub running. You were barely conscious when he came back and lifted you out of the bed, taking you into the bathroom, and lay you down in the warm water of the bath. You were so tired and boneless that you could hardly raise your head, so he carefully, lovingly washed your body, paying special attention to your belly.

“Are you alive?” He asked after some time of sitting next to the tub, watching you drift in and out.

“I think so,” You replied, opening your eyes to smile sleepily at him. “Do you think they took?”

“We won’t know for a while. You should take it easy until then.” He smoothed the hair away from your face and stroked your cheek. “You’re going to have my babies,” He said, laughing a little.

“I hope so,” You said, taking his hand and kissing the palm.

“Eric is going to be pissed,” Errol said, snickering.

You snorted. “Honestly, I haven’t thought about him once today. This isn’t about him.”

Errol kissed you. “You’re right. It isn’t. It’s about us.” He lay his hand on your stomach and smiled gently. “All of us.”

Only one of the eggs took, but that was okay. Errol’s parents were overjoyed to learn they’d be getting a grandchild. Both you and Errol decided Eric could learn it on Facebook, like all the other strangers and acquaintances in your lives.

You took maternity leave so that you could pass your gestational time in relative peace. Errol fussed over you, making sure you ate properly and went with you to all your appointments. You made the decision to lay the egg at home instead of the hospital, and Errol’s sister acted as the midwife. It was the toughest work you’d ever done, and Errol was the best cheerleader you could have asked for.

Errol took paternity leave, like you had done, since he couldn’t leave the egg, anyway. He incubated the egg for the rest of the gestation period, curled up around it day and night. Errol’s son, Ewan, was born six months after being conceived, and within another year, you and Errol were married.

You often wondered if things had been different, if you had dated Errol from the beginning instead of Eric, if you’d be as overjoyed as you were at the moment. But then you figured that wondering about what ifs was a waste of time. You had a happy family to look after now, after all, and another clutch on the way. There was no time to worry about the past. The future was right in front of you.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Naga #Cheating #Angst #Hurt/Comfort

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san-fics · 2 years

Text

Slowly but Surely

Felinette, Felix/Marinette, Felix/Ladybug

Ao3 1. Another motive

It was a morning of his first day at school.

Well, Parisian school that is. And the akuma alert was already making so much noise, before even the first lesson was over. But there was no one to blame except for himself, and Felix knew it.

It was actually his idea — to move to leave in Paris for some time. And he managed to not only convince his mother to do it, but even to make her think it came to her own head first. She would do it for him anyway, but the necessarity to explain to her his motives was... not something Felix was willing to do at the moment, so...

So two days ago they arrived from London and unpacked in a spacious house, that his mother bought few years ago. The house was big enough to breathe freely and feel comfortable, but not to huge to feel empty and inhabitant. Perfect choice.

Plus, it didn’t feel comfortable or even safe to stay in Gabriel’s house for too long. Not that The owner himself would be happy if Felix and his mother expressed a desire for a longer visit.

His last visit to this city, and especially to Agreste mention, left Felix in conflicting emotions. It was like an unfinished business to do, unsolved case to resolve. And it annoyed him a lot. Enough to create an opportunity to finish what he’d started.

And maybe Felix had another motive to come back to Paris, but it wasn’t to be considered for now. Not until he made sure he really had it.

Felix looked around the class.

Everyone was up from their chairs, talking, and the teacher was making some arrangements about where they should go. But students weren’t paying much attention. It wasn’t the first time they had to interrupt the lesson for akuma, Felix guessed.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Adrien said, already standing in the aisle of the open door. Then, to Felix’s surprise, he went out, not waiting for the teacher’s answer, and closed the door behind him.

That was weird. Did Adrien eat something bad? Or was it a nervous reaction to the situation? Adrien was sheltered most part of his life, but till now he had to be used to the noise, right?

“I need to go to the bathroom too!” Another voice said, and Felix raised his eyes, pulling himself from his thoughts.

He recognized the girl from the video he deleted on Adrien’s phone ones. Felix had a good photographic memory, and recognized most of his cousin’s classmates from that video.

In the meantime the girl opened the door and made an attempt to go outside, when she was caught by another girl by the wrist.

This girl wasn’t on the video, but she was hanging on Adrien’s hand all morning before the lesson started, so Felix, being a person who treasured his personal space high enough, didn’t like her already.

“It’s dangerous, Marinette!” The second girl said with obviously fake care in her voice. “You have to stay with the class!”

“No, Lila!” Marinette exclaimed, trying to free her hand.

“But Marinette! You know it’s not safe.” Lila insisted, holding her. Felix could say she didn’t really care about the other one’s safety, but had some alternate motives. “I’m sure, Adrien will join us soon.” She smiled sly and arrogantly.

And there it was, Felix smirked, how easily he could read them! She just doesn’t want the first girl to meet Adrien along. Why would it matter though?

Ohh. Right. Wasn’t the first girl the one to confess at that video? Those were just two girls fighting over Adrien.

Same old, same old...

“What part of the word ‘no’ didn’t you understand?!” Marinette yelled, pulled her hand away abruptly, and ran outside of the class.

Felix felt a slight phantom sensation on his skin as if he was hit on his jaw.

The last time when he herd those words said with the same voice, he got punched to his face. He remembered it clearly, because the case entered his registry of mistakes that should never be made again.

It happened when he pretended to be Adrien and tried to kiss Ladybug .

There was another reason he remembered that day well though.

There was something Freudian in this, but Felix had a weak spot for women like his mother — outwardly soft and gentle, but strong and hard on the inside. And it was exactly the impression Ladybug left him with.

Felix was smart enough to put two and two together.

Maybe he still needed some proves, that would confirm his suspicions for 100%. Like the proves he needed to make sure Gabriel was Shadowmath.

But Felix used to trust his intuition and logic, so at this moment he was almost sure: the Marinette-girl was Ladybug.

Felix got up from his chair. It would be better to clarify the situation right away. He stood up and left the class unnoticed in the common noise and chatter.

He followed the path of distraction and was looking from behind the corner the two heroes fighting the third unfamiliar figure on the middle if the street.

Felix watched Ladybug’s movements carefully, seeking confirmation of his guess, when he heard a cough and looked around.

Auburn-haired girl with glasses was hiding behind an advertising column with Adrien’s photo on it, peeking out to take a picture of the fight. She coughed occasionally and seemed generally unhealthy.

Felix remembered her face from that video as well, and from the video reports on the most informative web-side about Ladybug he found while doing his research on miraculous.

So she was sick and that’s why absent in class today. But bold enough to ran for making a scoop on her idol anyway.

Felix rolled his eyes and shook his head disapprovingly. Though she was good in her reports, but still. Such a fangirl. What to add?

The fight was still going on, and Felix focused his attention on the scene, leaving the ailing journalist on the periphery of his view. But the next moment he saw the Akuma’s shot swept over the street and hit the wall of the building behind her.

The girl was so passionate about the shooting of her video, that she didn’t even pay attention to the cracks in the wall, threatening to fall right on her.

Felix had only a moment to think and make his decision, but his speed of reaction had never let him down.

So, 1) in a few seconds the wall will fall on the journalist; 2) she isn’t even aware of the danger; 3) the heroes don’t see the girl because of the advertising column, behind which she is hiding; 4) Ladybug's powers will probably repaired the damage, so the risk from his side wasn’t necessary, but... damn!

Felix’s mother didn’t raise a coward or an insensitive villain, as many thought of him!

Felix jumped out of his hiding place and in two jumps found himself next to the dumbfounded journalist, grabbed her and rolled with her on the asphalt away from the column.

“Hey!” The girl was indignant, trying to escape from his grasp. “What do you think you’re do...” She started, when the wall of the affected building collapsed directly onto the advertising column, covering several meters around with debris.

The journalist was still sitting on the pavement, blinking in shock at the spot where she had just stood, when Ladybug landed next to her, probably attracted by the noise.

“Alya!” She yelled, helping the sick girl up to her feet. “What are you doing here sick?!” She demanded.

“Sorry, gir... Ladybug!” She apologized, making a puppy-face. “It was hard to sit on the bench, when...”

“And you!” Ladybug interrupted her, turning to Felix, who was currently calculating if his immunity was strong enough not to let him get sick with journalist’s germs on the very first day of school. “You are supposed to be evacuated with your class! Didn't your teacher explain the procedure to you?!”

“I find it more entertaining to save sick journalists.” Felix smirked.

Ladybug opened her mouth to say something, when a new loud sounds of the fight were heard.

They all turned to see Chat Noir blocking the Akuma’s attacks behind them. Ladybug turned back to the civilians.

“No time for a safety lecture.” She said. “Can you both move to safety by yourself?” To Felix’s surprise she narrowed her eyes at the journalist.

“Ok, ok, LB!” The girl caught and raised her hands with a giving up gesture. “I’m good and out. Buy!” She said quickly, threw a short look in Felix’s direction and disappeared in the nearest alley.

Ladybug looked at Felix.

“I can take care of myself.” He placed one hand on his waist.

She looked at where the column used to stand and back at him. Something flashed through her eyes fast, to fast for Felix to recognize, what.

Then Ladybug nodded and returned to fight along her partner.

Well, that wasn’t how Felix imagined their next meeting to go, but hey! He wasn’t the one to complain. Felix could be conservative in the way he looked, but definitely not in the way his brain was working, quickly adapting to any changing circumstances.

Maybe he didn’t find one hundred percent proof of his Marinette-theory, but during this meeting he definitely found inside himself some evidence that his hidden motive to move to Paris was valid.

And this motive was called Ladybug.

[master-list]

[2. Time to pair up]

[more MLB fanfic]

[December 2021 posting schedule]

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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 3 years

Note

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

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dakotacrisis · 3 years

Text

Baker Girl (2)

Fine! You win! You broke me down. I wrote a part 2. Will I write a part 3? Who knows! I am easily influenced, I have no life, and the hyperfixation is still here! Enjoy it please!

Read on AO3

---

“NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Nino had about two seconds to react before Adrien grabbed hold of him and dragged him into a storage closet.

“Dude, you nearly ripped off my arm,” Nino grumbled, “Why’d you drag me in here? And why are you so sweaty?”

“Did you know that Marinette has a crush on me?” he demanded. Nino’s eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. “Why did you not tell me?”

“Because Alya would have murdered me.” Nino said, “How did you find out?”

“I uh…” Right, there was no real reason Adrien should know that Marinette has a crush on him. That secret had been told to Chat Noir.

"Doesn't matter. I'm just trying to figure out what to do about it."

"Oh…" Nino slumped back against the storage room door, "Does this mean you're gonna reject her?"

He hated the idea of telling Marinette he didn't want to date her. Especially after yesterday but what else was there to do? He was in love with Ladybug after all--

Oh. Right. He deleted all the pictures. He didn't want to be in love with her anymore since the thought of it made her so mad.

Ladybug didn't love Chat Noir. She got aggressive and angry when the notion was even suggested. She liked him as a friend and partner but that's as deep as her affections went. Despite what may have happened during amnesiac akuma attacks would suggest. At the end of the day she was in love with someone that wasn't him.

But still, he didn't want to give up. He wanted his lady to see him for who he really is and love him back. The idea of giving her up, of actually moving on, it hurt more than words could say. The heartache and anger of yesterday made it easy to declare his intentions of moving on but it wasn't there anymore. Marinette had sucked all of that vitriol out of him the second she catcalled him over to her balcony.

He really saw a side of Marinette he wasn't that familiar with that day. He had only caught glimpses before but it really came out yesterday. She usually stuttered and stammered and went on weird tangents around Adrien. Around Chat Noir though she seemed more--he didn't know--relaxed? She treated him with the same casualty and ease she showed around Alya and all her other friends. What was different about him?

Oh...right.

Sooner or later Marinette was gonna confess to Adrien. She was going to give him that speech she made last night that made his heart stutter and his breathing stop and he was going to do what? Tell her no? After he already told her that the person she was in love with was lucky? After she said that the person that would fall in love with him would be lucky too?

How could he break her heart like that? He didn't want to hurt her. That was the very last thing he wanted to do.

"Wow," Nino pulled him out of his thoughts, "I can practically see smoke coming out of your ears with how hard you're thinking."

"Sorry," Adrien sighed, rubbing his temples, "I don't know what I'm going to do. I've never thought of Marinette that way."

Okay. That was a lie. He had always felt some sort of pull towards her but he thought it was only because she was a good friend. Yet, being around her, that pull, made him feel unfaithful to Ladybug. He didn't get that feeling around any of his other friends.

"I'm not sure how to help you," Nino said, "I like Marinette and I think you two would make a good couple but if you don't feel the same way then there's not much else to do about it. Just, let her down gently if she confesses to you. She has been crushing on you hard for a long time and I imagine that this rejection is gonna hurt something bad."

"Thanks anyway, Nino," Adrien moved past him and left the closet. For right now his worries about Marinette would have to wait. He had to get this tournament over with first.

---

"Girl, I don’t think those articles were too far off the mark." Alya said as they took their seats for the tournament. "From what I heard, Chat Noir may actually like you."

"He didn't mean it literally," Marinette reminded her, "he was talking hypothetically."

"Uh huh, sure," Alya pulled up her phone, "Watch his face in this video and tell me he didn't end up catching feels for you."

Marinette watched the video, focusing solely on Chat Noir’s face. He was watching her with intensity yet his expression was soft. Like he was taking in a moving ballet performance. Then…

"I'm lucky to have fallen in love with you."

He said it so softly, as if he was speaking some deep secret from the innermost pit of his heart.

She turned the phone away. "Please, Alya, Don't show me this. I've already made up my mind. I'm going to tell Adrien how I feel and then later Chat Noir and I are going to make a new video to post on the Ladyblog to put an end to all these rumors."

Alya looked as if she wanted to protest but didn't push the subject anymore. The tournament started and ended and Adrien won. Everyone cheered and her crush was lifted onto shoulders to celebrate his victory. It was close to time now.

Marinette’s palms began to sweat.

A hand clamped around her arm and pulled her into the locker rooms. "Kagami? What are you--"

"Did you do what I said yesterday?" Kagami asked, a book was clutched tightly in her hands.

"Partly. I didn’t really follow through completely but--"

"Perfect. I was worried, because it's a risky technique. By training with a boy you can fall in love with him and decide to leave with him for a deserted island and get devoured by zombie carnivorous plants!"

"Say what?" Marinette stared at her confused beyond all reason. Of all the directions this conversation could go she wasn't expecting this.

"I haven't finished the third volume, but it's very likely going to get worse." Kagami showed her the cover of the book she was holding.

For the love of--

"Did you give me advice you got from a manga?'

"Yes," Kagami said as if it was obvious and not crazy, "the Catastrophe Robinsons. What's the problem?"

"Okay, you need to hang out with my friends some more. I can't imagine that we have a much better grip on reality but together we can scrounge up some brain cells." Marinette laughed.

"So you didn't fall in love with Chat Noir? He's the one you practiced with if the articles I saw about you two are correct. Right."

"Right, but don't worry. We didn’t fall in love." Marinette assured her.

"I'm lucky to have fallen in love with you."

"No," Marinette held her arms close to her chest, "we definitely didn't fall in love."

"Good," Kagami sighed in relief. At that moment the doors to the locker room opened and the fencers filed in to get changed.

The girls made a swift exit, Marinette accidentally caught Adrien’s eye while leaving and nearly walked straight into the door. She stayed back waiting for everyone to change and leave. She would have a small opening between when Adrien was done changing and when he had to go home. If he could spare a few minutes then she could get her confession out.

---

Adrien took his time changing out of his fencing gear. While the thrill of winning had been potent at the time it was starting to slip away and being replaced with his worries about Marinette.

The moment he saw her exiting the locker room with Kagami he had collided into the back of one of the other fencers. Thoughts and feelings were warring in his head about what he felt and what he wanted and what any and all of this meant. Adrien wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. He didn't know how to feel about loving Ladybug anymore and he needed more time to sort through what was going on with his latent feelings for Marinette.

He left the locker room and stopped dead when he saw a lone figure standing at the front school steps. Why was she still here? She lived right next door, shouldn’t she have gone home?

Don't panic Adrien. Marinette doesn't know that you know about her feelings. Just say hi in passing, maybe a bit of small talk, then proceed quickly and calmly to the car.

He walked closer and scanned the road for his car. Where was the car? Where was the Gorilla?

"Hey Adrien," Marinette said, she had her hands clasped behind her back. A small smile on her face. "Congratulations on the win."

"Thanks," he gripped the trophy tighter, "it was pretty hit or miss there at the beginning though." That was because he kept getting distracted when he heard Marinette cheering for him. In the end he had to find a way to block it all out so he could scrape by with his win.

“Yeah…” Marinette kept her gaze locked on the ground.

“So uh,” Adrien cleared his throat, “What are you still doing here? Thought you would have headed out with everyone else.”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

Was it happening? Had she stayed back to confess to him? He wasn’t ready for this. He was still trying to figure things out. Should he make a run for it? No. That would be worse.

“About what?” Adrien broached carefully, hoping that she wanted to say something else to him. If this was her confession then he was surprised that she was doing it so quickly. He thought she would have wanted to clear up the confusion about her and Chat Noir before trying to tell him her feelings.

Wait. That was it.

“Is it about the articles?” Adrien asked as naturally as he could, “I saw them this morning. I’m sorry people are still calling you my girlfriend or my ex-girlfriend. Especially since you have that thing going on with Chat Noir.”

“What? Oh right,” Marinette’s composure seemed to slip, “It’s not ideal. And for your information what Chat Noir and I did yesterday wasn’t a date in the slightest. I called him over for help and then we decided to take a break and see a movie and the media took everything out of context. He actually stopped by my house earlier today to apologize about it and look into a way of clearing it up.”

“Well that’s great,” Adrien saw his car pull up out of the corner of his eye. Alrighty Adrien, you’ve made it this far. Just casually say goodbye and high tail it to the car. “Looks like my ride is here. I’ll see you later, Marinette.”

Adrien hustled down the stares as fast as he could without it looking like he was running. He hated ditching her like this but he needed more time to think. He heard the stammered goodbye of Marinette, her tone sadder than it had been when she greeted him.

Sorry, Marinette, Adrien thought mournfully, I can’t face you just yet. I’ll hear your confession another time when I know how to respond to it.

He slid into his car and let the Gorilla take him home. His mind was in a tornado of confusing thoughts. He was barely aware of the congratulations his father gave him when he walked in. He slumped up to his room and put the new trophy on his shelf before sitting down at his computer.

“Real smooth get away there,” Plagg zipped out from Adrien’s bag.

“Not now, Plagg,” Adrien groaned. When he closed his eyes all he saw was Marinette’s face staring up at him. She loved him. She really loved him. She loved him and he didn’t even know how to respond.

"I'm lucky to have fallen in love with you."

Why did he have to say that outloud? It wouldn’t leave him be now.

He pulled out a piece of paper and jotted down his thoughts hoping to make better sense of them.

Item 1: Ladybug doesn’t love me

Item 2: I’m unsure if I still want to be in love with Ladybug

Item 3: Marinette is in love me

Item 4: I don’t know if I like Marinette the same way

Item 5: I feel something for her but don’t know what it is exactly

Item 6: Does Marinette have feelings for Chat Noir? If she does then why did she try to confess to me? We had a moment in her bedroom where it felt like she maybe did like Chat Noir. Or maybe she didn’t. Was I reading too much into it? Did I freak her out by saying that I was lucky to have fallen in love with her? I covered it pretty well saying I meant it hypothetically and she said that she would have been lucky to fall in love with me too. Did she really mean that or was she just being nice? She said that under difference circumstances she thought she could be in love with me. What about me? Would I love her under different circumstances?

Adrien stared at the last paragraph he wrote in a haphazard mess of words. That last line seemed to strike him directly.

If under difference circumstances, would he have fallen in love with Marinette? He thought back to the day he came to school. Marinette had been angry at him and rightfully so since she thought he had stuck gum on her seat. He imagined it as if he had never met Ladybug. As if Hawkmoth wasn’t around and he had never become Chat Noir and fallen in love with his partner after her amazing courageous feat.

That moment when he apologized to Marinette on the steps. It was raining. He offered her his umbrella.

She is pretty cute. There’s a reason so many of the boys in their class had a crush on her at one time or another. She was kind. Sweet. Brave. Creative. Passionate. Loyal. She was fun to be around and he felt at ease around her. Adrien smiled to himself and sighed into the air.

Yes. He concluded. Under different circumstances he can only assume he would have fallen for Marinette Dupain-Cheng very quickly.

This wasn’t a hypothetical situation he was in now though. He was working through the heartache over Ladybug and this new information with Marinette. Even if he does have latent feelings for Marinette, which is useless in denying that he doesn’t at this point, he isn’t sure if he’s in the proper mindset for a relationship.

If she confesses he’ll tell her not yet. Not a definite no, just a not right now. Hopefully that will be enough.

He glanced over at the clock. He still had one last thing to do tonight.

---

“Ouch, you didn’t even get a chance to tell him?” Alya said over the phone.

After Adrien had abruptly left after the fencing tournament Marinette had called Alya to tell her she didn’t get her confession out.

“Yup,” Marinette was not nearly as bent over not confessing her feelings to Adrien as she thought she would be. “If I’m being honest I’m kind of relieved. I love Adrien but things are a little...complicated right now.”

“Does this have to do with Chat Noir?” Alya asked. Marinette could practically hear the cocky grin plastered on her face. Marinette was silent for a second longer than was necessary which Alya took for confirmation. “I knew what happened earlier wasn’t just a spoof.”

“I don’t know what it was, okay?” Marinette flopped down on her bed, her face buried in the pillows. “I’ve never thought of Chat Noir that way.”

“Girl, I can barely hear you.” Alya said.

Marinette picked her head up, “I said that I’ve never really thought of Chat Noir that way. There have been a couple times his flirting has flustered me, I’ll admit that, but I’ve never seriously entertained the idea of liking him romantically. But yesterday...I don’t know...something happened.

“It was like, without him flirting with me as Ladybug I saw him. He wasn’t my partner in crime fighting or the guy that can’t stop flirting with me at inappropriate times. When we were together yesterday it was just him as a person and--I don’t know--I guess I kind of really like who he is as he is. None of the wooing or flirting or grandiose gestures. I was out with Chat Noir, the hero of Paris, a guy with a good sense of humor and a kind and caring heart.”

“So you’re admitting you caught feelings for him.”

“I think so.”

“And is that a bad thing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you still in love with Adrien.”

“Of course but…”

“But he’s consistently edged you into the friend-zone to the point you can have your mail delivered there.”

“Kinda harsh,” Marinette took a deep breath, “But not inaccurate.”

“So what now? You were relieved at not telling Adrien you love him and you admitted to having feelings for Chat Noir. Where do we go from here?”

“I have no idea. I’ve rejected him enough as Ladybug I expect he’ll react harshly if I suddenly do a one eighty and tell him that I do like him and want to go on a date.”

“I think the best course of action is to not force yourself into any kind of relationship with either of them at this point.” Alya said, “You’re still in love with Adrien and these feelings for Chat Noir are new and confusing. You don’t need to choose one or the other right now or ever. Let yourself think things through more until you’re sure you know what you want to do.”

Marinette liked Alya’s idea. Trying to slot herself into a definite relationship with either boy would be a lot to handle right now. Especially since she doesn’t know how either of them would respond to a confession.

There was a tap on the trapdoor above her head and Marinette dropped her phone. Was it--who was she kidding? Of course it was Chat Noir. Who else would be knocking on her balcony door?

“I gotta go,” Marinette scrambled for her phone and hung up before opening the door. There was Chat Noir crouched down so he was less obvious to passersby. “Evening, kitty cat.”

“Hi, sorry to drop in like this again.” he smiled apologetically, “Is it okay if I come in?”

“Please do.” Marinette moved out of the way. “What brings you by?”

“We never got that video made for the Ladyblog to clear up the rumors about us.” Chat Noir said as he let himself into Marinette’s room. He seemed oddly comfortable here. It was a small but nice thought.

“Right,” Marinette picked up her phone. “Did you want to make that now? I can send it Alya and she’ll have it posted by the end of the night.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Chat Noir sat down on the settee. Marinette balanced her phone on the desk across from the settee and hit record. “Alya will edit this, right?”

“She will, don’t worry,” Marinette sat down next to him. “Do you want to start this time?”

“Sure,” Chat Noir turned to face the screen. Marinette tried to pay attention to what he was saying but all she could focus on was the press of his knee against hers. That strange warmth she felt yesterday as well as earlier today was back. Her insides turned to jell-o and her brain fogged up.

What a lovely profile he had.

“The one that will fall in love with you will be lucky too.”

She hadn’t expected the person that would have fallen in love with him may have been her. She may as well have said--

"I'm lucky to have fallen in love with you." Marinette breathed out in a whisper.

Chat Noir stopped dead to turn and look at her. “What--what did you say?” She could see the bright red blush of his cheeks peeking out from underneath his mask.

“I was--I--” She hadn’t meant to say it outloud! “Sorry, I was thinking about what you said earlier. That’s it. I wasn’t say that I--”

She clammed up, her heart beating hard in her chest.

Doki doki

Darn it Kagami! She showed her that manga and now it was all she could think of!

“Marinette, do you--”

“I don’t want to get devoured by zombie carnivorous plants!” Marinette blurted out.

“What?” Chat Noir’s face screwed up in confusion, “Have you been reading the Catastrophe Robinsons?”

“A friend of mine was reading it. How do you know it?”

“I may or may not have all twenty one volumes at home. It’s a weird manga but it’s a lot of fun.”

“Twenty one volumes? Really?”

“It’s a good story! Likeable characters, an original premise, good drama, fun comedy, and a well paced romance. Although that love triangle in the Haunted Noodle Shop Arc was kind of infuriating it gave the love interests that final push they needed to admit they were in love.”

Marinette started laughing. She doubled over, tears streaming down her face as she full on cackled.

“Uh Marinette?” Chat Noir placed a hand on her back, “Are you okay?”

“What is this manga?!” She said between gasps of laughter, “A haunted noodle shop? Zombie carnivorous plants? What’s next? A time traveling soda machine?”

“How did you know?” Chat Noir smirked. Marinette shoved his shoulder. “In all seriousness there is a time traveling photo booth at one point.”

“Oh my goodness,” Marinette shook her head. “I am going to have to read this at some point. I have to know. I just do. I need to see how coconuts this series gets.”

“I can bring you the first couple volumes if you want,” Chat offered, “I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts.”

For a while Marinette completely forgot why Chat Noir was originally there and about the phone that still sat recording them. It wasn’t until it got to be much later that they both realized they had completely forgotten the task at hand. Marinette stopped the recording and said goodbye to Chat Noir. He promised to come back tomorrow with the manga volumes and to record the video for real this time.

Marinette watched him leap away and placed a hand over her heart.

Doki doki

---

(Part 1) (Next)

#miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #glaciator 2 #marichat #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir #adrien agreste

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soobadnoonecanstopher · 3 years

Text

Touch it for Real, Part 10

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Angst / (Eventual) Smut 18+

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers / unresolved sexual tension

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

A/N: I had to split this chapter due to length. Part 10.5 will follow tomorrow.

The song inspiration for this chapter is Eric Nam’s The Night

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10 , FINAL Part 10.5

You hadn’t touched the app since you’d done it.

You hadn’t slept much either.

The guilt was eating you alive from the inside and you were pretty sure the ache you felt in your stomach was an ulcer from the stress of living with the horrible mistakes you had made.

Your room was the wrong temperature.

Your bed was uncomfortable.

The light that shone through your window from the moonlight was too bright. You couldn't hide away from it no matter how hard you tried.

No matter how tightly you closed your eyelids you could still see everything too clearly. Even hiding your head under your pillow didn't block it all.

The clock on the wall of your bedroom ticked rhythmically and the sound was counting down to your destruction.

You fought the useless battle against the bright moonlight for hours until you realized the reason why you could so clearly see the messy clothes on the floor in front of your closet and the overflowing wastebasket sitting beside your desk wasn’t because of a super moon occupying the sky outside, but that brightness was actually the sun shining through your window now; alerting you to the fact that you had once again spent an entire night wallowing in your own self pity or self hatred or self loathing or whatever self bullshit was on the docket this time.

It was Sunday morning.

You were sitting on a time bomb as you spread butter on your toast and kept your ears tuned in for the sounds of life inside his bedroom.

You hadn’t really expected him to, but Baekhyun hadn’t appeared since last night when he disappeared inside his bedroom to sleep. You hadn’t heard him playing games all night or even heard his shower running or playing loud music well into the sunrise.

Was he really sleeping?

All night?

Like a normal person?

Or maybe like someone who wasn’t too weighed down by the pressure of their own substantial sins might sleep.

You knew that Baekhyun liked to sleep in late on days when he had nothing pressing to attend to. You’d both gotten in late last night and he probably wouldn't make an appearance until late morning. Maybe not even until lunchtime.

Your toast was bland and floppy by the time you took a bite and you scowled down at the disappointing thing. Surely and somehow you could blame yourself for this breakfast failure. It wasn’t the toaster. That thing was perfect. It was you. You’d waited too long to eat it. You’d been wallowing for too long and now it was a waste.

It was all a waste.

You’d drive yourself crazy at this rate. You needed a distraction to get through it.

You would do laundry and clean your bathroom and tidy your room and maybe then you could think.

Think about what you had done to Mia, what you had done to Baekhyun; think about how low that was and how undoable it was. It wasn't like you could un-delete the messages.

You worked on your Sunday chores and you were thinking hard. The doubt was heavy and made the load of laundry you carried out of your bedroom feel this basket was full of bricks and you were walking on a sandy beach.

How would Baekhyun react? Would he know that you had been the one to delete the messages or would he blame it on a glitch in the system? What would he think of you when Mia told him that he’d agreed to meet her himself last night. Last night when he was asleep.

What would happen to Mia?

Would she sit alone at the cafe for an hour waiting for him or would she text him right away?

Would she quietly absorb her disappointment at being stood up or would she blame him for it. Had you just made him the bad guy? Your sweet Peanut — a villain?

You didn't want to hurt her. You had liked her. Your jealousy had just taken over last night. You’d never been stood up before but you imagined it felt awful. Baekhyun knew what it felt like. Would it hurt him terribly to believe that he had somehow played a part in causing someone else that kind of pain by making the mistake of associating with you; the mistake of trusting you?

You’d been watching your laundry spin around in a circle for a half an hour now and you looked up on top of the machine to see the carefully measured cup of soap sitting there. You’d been so lost in your thoughts that you forgot to put it in. The disappointment you felt in yourself was fitting it hardly even made a dent in the already deep down in the mud mood you were in.

You’d have to stop the cycle and restart it with soap. You’d wasted all of that water.

If Baekhyun knew about this he would be so disappointed in you. He would complain and nag about the irreparable damage you’d done to the Earth, to his Earth, his planet, his home. The only one he had to live on.

And you deserved to be nagged. You deserved to be scolded and yelled at and you deserved to be made to feel like the absolute scum of the earth because what you had just done to him was unforgivable.

Would he really never forgive you?

Was this what finally did it? Not your laziness or your pranks or your inability to pay rent on time, but this? You’d been given his trust and you’d trampled all over it. You’d taken what he’d given you, his friendship and his access to him, to his privacy that he valued above all else and you’d squandered it for selfish and jealous and disgusting reasons. You’d trampled all over it, all over him. Again and again you showed that you didn’t deserve someone like him. You’d sinned against him and for what?

To stop him from dating a girl who you’d pushed him toward in the first place.

You were an asshole. The worst kind. A jealous, petty, selfish asshole.

You felt it then. You’d paused your load of laundry and you reached for the soap after the water drained from the tub. You held the button down to cancel and reset the cycle and you watched the digital display blink angrily at you, telling you that what you were trying to do was not allowed, it was against the rules. You were supposed to just let the wash cycle happen, you were just supposed to let it happen, you had been the one to push the button, you started it, why were you pausing right now why were you stopping and reversing when this was what you wanted? What kind of asshole stops the cycle right in the middle?

The numbers on the screen blurred. It was a blinking fuzzy red tinted mess. You could feel the sting and then the relief of the tears that crested and fell and you exhaled through a mostly stuffed up nose.

You couldn't do this to him.

The tears on your face were warm and wet and they fell freely as the intense regret washed over you completely.

This wasn’t you. You weren’t this person. You weren’t underhanded and sneaky. You didn't have the stomach for it. You felt like you might be sick just imagining poor Mia sitting there waiting for him, thinking the worst of him, believing that he was that kind of selfish cruel man who would treat a woman this way. That wasn’t fair to Baekhyun and you’d been a real monster to try such a low down dirty trick like this.

You had to fix this.

You were out of any other options other than honesty. You had to tell him exactly what you had done last night in a moment of misguided weakness, in a moment of stupidity and you had to tell him that he still had time to go meet her, to talk about whatever it was she wanted to tell him.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and went into your bathroom to clean your face up. You would not let him be swayed by the selfish tears on your face. You had to control yourself and confess your crimes and you had to be straightforward and strong about it.

You gripped your cell phone and you inhaled a breath through your nose and exhaled it slowly through your mouth. Your exhale hiccuped once from the earlier upset and so you did it again; breathing in deeply, filling your lungs as full as you could and exhaling in one long continuous breath; until it was stable again, until you could feel your racing heartbeat relinquishing the manic control it had over you.

His door was closed and it was quiet behind the door.

You knocked twice, listening carefully over the thumping in your chest for the sound of his voice from inside.

Finally it came; a soft hum from within.

“Baekhyun—” You called through the door, “can I come in?”

His voice hummed again, low and sleepy, and you turned the knob, pushing the door open and then pushing yourself forward slowly.

He was in his bed, half under his covers with a leg sticking out and he rolled away from the wall he was facing as you came into the room, pulling his blanket down to uncover his face, his eyes peered at you as he squinted against the light in the room.

“Hmm?” He hummed again and his eyes closed back up.

You held your phone out toward him and you moved closer to his bed. He squinted one eye open and lifted a hand palm up which he quickly dropped back down onto the bed, clearly still half asleep.

“Did you break your phone?” His voice was thick with sleep and his eyes were still closed as he talked to you.

“No, I didn’t break it. I did something wrong.”

“Give it. I’ll fix it.” He was talking again, reaching again with more conviction now as the spell of sleep that he had been under began to break.

He was sitting up. He was looking at you with his warm brown eyes and he was blinking as he tried to focus on what you were saying to him.

“No. I didn't break it. I did something wrong,” you repeated for emphasis and continued for clarity, “I did something bad to you. Last night when you were asleep—”

Oh this was hard. His brows lifted and you had his attention. Your words, the seriousness of then sharpened his eyes on you as you spoke.

“Last night, Mia messaged you...after the date.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed and he was watching you very closely as the words emerged. His eyes were focused on your face and his mind was processing what you were telling him. He was still sleepy but your words were pulling him out of it. His hands gripped the cellphone you’d pushed into his hands.

“I opened the app you made for me. I read a message that Mia sent you. She wanted to meet you for coffee t-today— this afternoon, in less than an hour.”

You could feel your control slipping as you spoke the truth about the awful thing you had done and you had to look down and away from his face as you continued your confession otherwise that thickness you felt in your throat would come through in your voice. Otherwise you might not make it through this without crying. You promised yourself already that you would not do that. You had to get this out and it had to be clear and controlled. You did not deserve his sympathy or even his forgiveness. This violation had been inexcusable.

Your own hands were empty. You’d given him your phone and he was holding it now.

“I pretended to be you, told her you would meet her and then I deleted the messages so you would not see them. So that you would stand her up. It was wrong of me. It was a mistake. I’m sorry. You can delete the app, or change the permissions or do something. I’m sorry. I know you trusted me and I messed it all up — Baekhyun, you can still make it. You can get ready and go meet her for coffee. She had something she wanted to ask you. If you get ready now, you won't miss her. She wont get stood up because — because I fucked up and I acted like an asshole.”

Baekhyun’s sleepy face had changed as you spoke. You inhaled a deep breath and looked into his eyes and you found him watching you with a new hardness in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before and his hand gripped tight enough to snap around your cell phone.

You could feel the blood under your skin just at the surface, heating your flesh and flushing your cheeks. You pulled your lips tight to keep the tremble out of them and he was watching your face too closely for you to be able to keep up the eye contact.

“Bug, why would you do that?” He spoke through clenched teeth and all traces of his earlier sleep were gone.

“I’m sorry. It just felt so bad and I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway and I have no excuse.”

You felt the bed move when he shifted and he was pushing himself up into a full seated position with his legs hanging over the side of his bed.

The movement made you push back and away, clearing a path for him to get up. You knew he had to get ready quickly if he wanted to make it in time. What if there was traffic?

“You still have time to make it— if you go now,” you said with a quick glance up into his eyes and you noticed he’d abandoned your phone on his bed as he moved. “She’ll be waiting for you.”

Baekhyun wasn’t standing yet and he was still looking at you with that odd hardness in his eyes and a very slight back and forth head shake as his only significant movement.

Your mind was preoccupied with the ticking clock on the wall and he was still just sitting there on his bed looking at you.

Yes, you had disappointed him. Yes, you had fucked up. But you were trying here. You were trying to make this right and you knew it wasn’t fair to him to throw this surprise coffee date on him at the last second but you’d fucked up and you couldn't think of any other way to fix it other than to get that man to stand up and get dressed so he could go meet her right now.

You reached for his hand and you grabbed lightly around his wrist and you pulled.

“Baekhyun. You need to move. You’re not moving. Please.” Your pleas were growing desperate. How in the world would you fix it if he wouldn't let you fix it?

“Is it because you were upset about Ben?” When he finally moved it was not his body or his legs it was his mouth and you let your hand sag with his wrist still suspended in your grasp.

He moved then, Baekhyun stood up and you let your hand fall away from his arm, pulling your arms up awkwardly to cross them over your chest. You took another step away. The discomfort flowed through your entire body. You’d created this problem. This was all your fault. This atmosphere was unbearable and you could only blame yourself.

You were looking down at your feet and you wished he wasn’t watching your face as closely as he was as his eyes roamed over your pained expression. He was still shaking his head and you could tell that he was trying his hardest to make sense out of your terrible actions.

You were his friend. Surely his friend had to have a good and valid reason for doing this to him, right? Surely it wasn’t just because maybe she was a bad person and did bad things.

With your eyes on your feet though, it was easier to shake your head and deny that Ben had anything at all to do with why you’d attempted to sabotage his new relationship.

“Baekhyun, you can still make it,” your voice was a whisper. You could feel your careful resolve crumbling the longer you stood here under his watchful eyes. You could feel it in your chest. Your breathing pushed hard against your lungs that fought against the oxygen and your heart pounded so noisily inside of you that you began to wonder if that had been the clock you heard all along or your own rhythmic countdown forecasting your demise.

You had to shake your head. You had to squeeze your eyes tight and push with all of your might. You couldn't face this. It was too hard.

“If not Ben—” he was speaking again. Your eyes were closed.

“Then why?” you heard an inhale of breath from him and it was trembling. The sound of his pain, the sound of his suffering called to you and you opened your eyes to look at him. His eyes were closed and he had a hand raised with his fingers held up.

The agitation you heard in his breathing moved him and his body came to life as he shifted on his feet, spinning in a slow circle where he stood, he lifted both of his hands to run through his hair and his eyes were closed up tight enough for his vision to go white.

“You can’t do this to me. You can’t do this to me again. It’s not fair.” He was speaking under his breath and you were drawn to his words as confusion rushed over your thoughtful mind. The part of your mind that made sense of things was left in a cloud.

Again? Had you really hurt him this badly before? Your memory raced through the history you had with him and you looked over his features in worry.

When his eyes opened back up he was looking into your face with that same dark look, the look that made you want to shrink up and hide from it. The look that somehow saw you for exactly what you were and knew just how bad of a person you could be.

“I’m trying to fix it — I don't know what to do, Baekhyun. I don't know what I should do.”

Your feet had carried you toward his door. You could feel the overwhelming urge to escape this. To escape your own mistakes and problems and run from them. To leave this place and to hide from the way he was looking at you right now. He was still just shaking his head and staring at you. He wasn’t moving to get showered or dressed or changed even, he wasn’t grabbing his keys or his phone to leave to go meet her, why didn’t he do something?

He must have noticed your movement. Baekhyun took several large steps toward where you’d wandered near his door and you froze when he moved.

He was upset. You could see it in the way he carried his body through the space and you heard it in the rough way he pulled at the doorknob to his bedroom and swung it open.

You’d half expected him to head toward the front door. Maybe he’d forgotten that he needed to change out of his comfy sweats if he was going to meet a girl for coffee.

He left his door open and you followed his quick steps. You followed the path he took through the living room and you turned when he turned toward your bedroom. You stood back as you watched his hand turn your door knob and he disappeared through your doorway, into your bedroom. You heard your closet. Your heart felt like it was throbbing inside of your chest when you saw him emerge with a familiar bag; your big suitcase, the one that was still stuffed full with your coats from the last time you had been convinced you needed to pack up and leave this place you called home.

You felt like you might be sick.

Did he want you to leave? Was he packing your bag for you? The panic that grew in your belly was powerful and it threw you back against the wall of the hallway that led to your bedroom.

This was it. He’d finally had enough of your shit. This was it.

You’d done it.

You’d lost your best friend.

Baekhyun had disappeared with your bag and you heard a door shut somewhere within his room. You heard the sound of a set of keys. There was a ringing in your ears.

“Tell me why.” His voice was back. He was back. He was standing in front of you and you looked up into his eyes and the breath he inhaled trembled as it went in and filled his lungs with air. He lifted a hand and his fingers shook as he rubbed them over his mouth. “You can’t run away now. I have your bag. Tell me why. Why did you do that?”

He’d gone for your bag first. Just as you had always gone for the bag the minute something snapped in you and you’d convinced yourself that you could simply leave if things got too uncomfortable or too hard to bear. It felt significant. It felt like your reckoning. You couldn't run away this time. He knew you would try that first and Baekhyun wasn’t going to let you; not until he had the truth.

“You always have a good reason. You always make sense — to me. You always make sense to me. Everything you do, I understand why you do it. But...this, it doesn’t make any sense. You’re the one who picked her. You’re the one who started this. You’re the one pushing me to go to her. Why did you do this? Why are you doing this to me? It’s so unfair.”

Baekhyun’s voice was unstable. His hands were trembling and you could feel the deep frustration in his words. He was right. He was completely right.

No false explanation you could come up with would make any sense.

Only the truth made sense.

The humming in your ears and the burning in your eyes and the pounding in your chest had built up too much. It was too hard to control. It was too hard to contain.

The longer you sat in it; the longer you withstood it, the less you wanted of it.

You closed your eyes and you let it out.

It came out as a whisper.

“I told you, I was shameless.”

They hit you like a bomb. Those words that you spoke out loud to him; with your own mouth. Your own voice that betrayed you so completely.

The aftershocks echoed around inside of your head and you blinked fast and hard, trying to control the stinging wetness that pooled inside of your eyes.

Baekhyun had gone completely still.

You could no longer hear the unstable breathing from his lungs.

“What did you just say?” His voice had no strength left. You could not look at him.

Oh no.

You’d done it.

You had to inhale to live. You had to open your eyes and you rolled them around to keep the moisture at bay, looking everywhere except for him. You felt like crying. You felt like losing your flimsy control once and for all and screaming, sobbing, falling to the floor to deal with this incredible anxious feeling that was surging up inside of your body.

It was out. That secret of yours. It ripped you apart when it exited and you felt more unstable than you’d ever felt. You were about to cave in. Control was overrated anyway.

“I told you I act dumb and desperate and jealous, Baekhyun. I told you I make mistakes. I’m shameless.”

You heard the step he took. It was a stumble. Your words had thrown his balance off and he caught the step quickly. The sound of it pulled your focus.

Baekhyun looked at you, a stunned expression on his face and his eyes, his eyes which always held so much comfort and security for you, those eyes that were always so warm, they traveled over your entire face as his lips fell open.

“What does that mean?” His lips hardly moved when he spoke. You watched a hand lift and it landed squarely over his chest and there was a movement in his fingers; an involuntary shake in them. His fingers flexed and he clawed over his chest.

“Does that mean...do you mean...what I think you mean?”

You felt the first tear fall. It slipped out and ran down your face and you lifted a hand to wipe it quickly.

“It means I’m in love with you, Baekhyun. I’m sorry. I was jealous of her. I couldn't watch you and her like that. So I acted like that — I did that to her, to you both. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop loving you. I don't even know where to start.”

Your breathing was heavy. Your face was wet and whatever flimsy control you thought you had over yourself had shattered with your honest confession. More than just what you had done to him, this felt so much more damning. This was the truth about what was inside your heart.

This was the scariest thing you had ever told him. It felt so much worse than when you told him you’d lost your job and would start looking for a new place to live.

The silence that surrounded you amplified your labored breathing and you’d given up on catching the tears that slipped down your cheeks. There was no stopping it. You’d been a fool to think that you could hide this.

Baekhyun hadn’t moved. He stood frozen a few feet away from you and when he did move it was to lift a palm to cover over his face for a moment.

“Are you serious?” You heard him say. You swallowed hard and squeezed your eyes closed. “Bug, are you serious? You—”

“You’re in love with me?”

You wrapped your arms around your stomach tightly and with your eyes closed you nodded your head once.

Your ears caught movement.

Baekhyun was moving. Your fear and your shame flashed images into your mind, images of him vanishing; images of him closing himself up in his room; images of him telling you he just couldn't live with you any more.

Baekhyun was moving. You could hear him. Your eyes burned and begged to open and when you gave in you flinched to find him standing right in front of you. He was here. He stood in front of you and his eyes were wide on your face.

In those eyes you saw what you could only describe as a look of concern. Baekhyun was looking at your face and the warmth that arrived with his body heat coated you. Inside of your chest, something was building, something was burning, something was changing inside of you with the look in his eyes you could not pull your own eyes away from him when he was standing so close to you like this.

The wall behind your back was so cold and he was warm.

He was moving. His hands were moving. You felt the warmth of his palms land over your wet cheeks and he was wiping your tears, drying the wetness from your skin with the palms of his hands and with his soft fingertips. He moved so gently over you. He touched you so carefully. The pounding inside of your chest raged out of control. The ragged breathing that had ahold of you earlier seized up and you could feel the dizziness building upon itself, yet you could not make your lungs cooperate; not with him so close to you. Not with him looking at you up close with that look in his eyes and his hands still holding your face.

“LoveBug.” His whispered breath warmed your mouth. The soft name he called you coated the back of your tongue like some sweetened medicine. You swallowed down the moisture that pooled and he was close enough to you that his breathing fanned against your lips, over your tongue when your lips parted.

“Do you know that I belong to you?” It came out as a whisper. This tiny question that lit you on fire. Your lungs burned.

“Do you know that?”

You felt another tear escape and he leaned into you then. You felt too stunned to react. This did not feel real. Perhaps you had actually fallen asleep last night and you were dreaming. The warm brush of his thumb below your eye, wiping the wetness away again and again as the tears fell. The warm puff of his breath over your closed eyelid and the softness of his lips that pressed a kiss onto the softness of your cheek where your tears had just been dried.

“I belong to you. I’m yours. I’ve loved you for so long.”

These words he said pulled your eyes into his.

The discord in your brain echoed. How was this real? Nothing was making sense inside of your head, so you exhaled through it. You let your lungs deflate and the final bursts of air that left your lungs pulled your eyelids down halfway and you couldn’t stand the distance, you had to touch him. His hands were so warm and his eyes were so magnetic and what was he saying to you? He loved you.

He loved you.

Baekhyun loved you. He said so himself. He said he was yours and he’d gone still again, his breathing stopped puffing over your skin when your hands reached for his waist and you gripped around his shirt, bunching the fabric as you pulled. There was a step, to keep his balance and he moved closer to you.

Warmth. Heat. He was everywhere. That smell of him; the scent of the spaces within his bedsheets that smelled like him, his breath, his lungs, his heart inside of his body. With the contact of your hands around his waist you could feel so much of him. When your hands traveled up over the center of this back you felt the wild beating echoing inside of his chest.

It sounded a lot like what was happening inside of your own chest.

The distance evaporated with your hands on him. You felt the softness of his cheek against your own. You heard the quiet grunt from the back of his throat when the tip of his nose brushed over yours and his lips traveled over your entire face. Over the smoothness of your forehead and a path over your eyebrow; up the hill of your cheekbone and down through the softness of your cheek. He was exploring your face with his lips and the spell he put you under was deep. You would have floated away had it not been for the occasional labored puff of air from his parted lips. A mark of his struggle to keep his breathing under control. The man was magic.

His touch was so light and delicate you wondered how he could stand this with as fast as his heart was beating inside of his chest. His hands were moving away from the way he cupped your cheeks and caught stray tears, he moved a single hand to the back of your head, moving lower to cradle the back of your neck and his other hand traced the shape of your jaw with lightly touching fingertips until he reached your lips.

With his eyes half closed and with zero hesitation he moved then. You felt him move. Your eyes were already closed when you felt his lips cover yours.

It began with softness; that same uncertain, wary softness that led his movements. His kiss was gentle and his lips were asking.

The question was quiet.

Your response was not. Your hands pulled hard over his back. His chest was flush with yours already but the constriction of your hold on him sent a clear message.

When your lips parted to his you felt the wetness of his tongue brush against yours and you pulled against him, pulled him into your mouth and the hold of his hand behind your head changed as his grip tightened and his fingers threaded within your hair.

His other hand slipped around your waist and he pulled you tight against his firm warmth. Everything about the kiss was changing. There was an urgency that took over every cell of your body and you were feeling dizzy and when his lips pulled away for a second, you gasped for air from within his parted lips. You could not break the kiss. You could survive inside of his mouth forever. You didn’t even need air that badly.

Baekhyun did not break the contact either. Your desire for closeness was building further and your hands pushed the warm fleece of his sweater up and away from his skin. You felt the first smooth warm bits of the bare skin of his waist and your own skin erupted all over with goosebumps when you felt the tips of his fingers slip under the fabric of your shirt at the small of your back.

It was your own wandering hands that did it. You touched first, the small of his back, then your hand wandered around his waist, as you made your way around to the front of him you heard the low whine that erupted from deep within his body. It was a long frustrated sound and the sound of it pulled your lips into a smile.

Your fingertips were close. You know enough about human anatomy to know that slipping your hand along the waistband at the front of his sweatpants and hooking your index finger just inside the fabric as you moved; well, it was only a matter of time until you were brushing below his navel and you felt Baekhyun jolt back and away from you when you’d done it.

“Fuck,” he cursed with his lips flush against yours and you couldn’t help any of it. He’d put you well under his spell and you wanted every bit of the man. Clearly your hand had come too close and he wasn’t expecting it.

“This is like living out all of my fantasies at once multiplied by a hundred. I don’t think I can take this.”

Baekhyun pulled his face back and away from you then. You used the respite to finally breathe in a deep enough breath to touch that dizziness you’d been feeling. It didn't help much. Was it the desire? You had never felt quite so desperate for another human being to touch you before.

You ached for it. The attention he showed with his wandering fingertips over every bit of skin he could find and the way his eyes and his lips touched you. Nothing about the desire you were feeling felt normal.

Baekhyun dropped a hand from you. It was the hand that had held the back of your neck. He took another step back and placed his hand over his chest. He was looking at you again with a shell shocked expression on his face and lips very pink and swollen from the passion you’d felt in those kisses.

“I feel like my heart is going to explode.” He said and you saw his lips pull into a smile. He was still breathing hard and his gaze changed into something of wonder.

“You like me.” His eyes closed up and the smile pulled wider. You were blinded by it. It was contagious. You could not stop your own smile from mirroring his. “You love me. She fucking loves me.”

“I love you,” you agreed softly. It tasted like relief. It was sweet and satisfying and toothsome. You were wrecked. You probably looked like hell after the sleepless night and all of that crying. He watched you as if you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on. You could see it so clearly. Your eyes sharpened to so much the more you looked around, the clearer your focus became and your eyes were drawn to the wall behind his head.

There, a clock had just struck one.

“What do we do about Mia,” you were the one to say it and still hated the sour taste of the guilt that still sat on the back of your tongue when her name came up. You hadn’t quite considered this outcome. You hadn’t ever considered this.

“Oh god, Mia,” he said. “Oh no.” The smile on his face was gone and you could see the regret land over his features. “I — I think I need to go make a phone call.”

He spoke the words and you nodded your head. Of course he did. Of course you understood completely. Of course his body was still very close to you and of course you could feel the desire to pull him back into your arms and into your mouth.

Baekhyun hadn’t stepped back yet. His words said one thing yet his hands were moving again and he reached for you, wrapping both of his arms around your waist this time he pulled tight and you felt the strength in his arm muscles as he did it.

His face dipped and he kissed you again. You could not resist his lips despite the ticking clock. You craved him. You hadn’t been nearly satisfied enough yet and you wondered if you could ever get enough of him.

His soft lips; the pull of suction inside of his mouth; his tongue; his teeth all demanded and took from you and you wove your fingers into his hair and held him tight as you kissed him back.

You both pulled away at the same time and his labored breathing marked the significant struggle he was facing in letting go and walking away. You did not think it was possible to love this man any more than you already did, but this unrestrained side of him was making your stomach do flips.

“Do you want me to go with you? This is my fault after all.”

He rested his forehead against yours and both of his arms were still wrapped tightly around your waist. He’d been standing still with both of his eyes closed since he’d pulled his mouth away from yours.

You felt him shake his head back and forth and he hummed a no sound from the back of his throat.

“I think I can do it alone,” he said before inhaling a deep breath and exhaling it slowly as he pulled his face back, straightened his shoulders and dropped his arms.

He’d spun on his feet and taken two steps before he turned around and undid all of his progress with two more big steps back in your direction and a grimace of failure on his face.

His hands were up and he was reaching for you again, grabbing you roughly by the cheeks, ignoring the giggles that erupted from your chest as he leaned in and kissed you again. He was smiling too and the first seconds of the kiss was just teeth bumping teeth before you complied and relaxed enough to receive the quick succession of peppered kisses he pressed into your mouth.

“How can I walk away? Turn me around and push me. I can’t walk away from you.”

You were in big trouble. You knew he could be really cute if he wanted to be. You’d had trouble with it in the past.

But this time his intense level of adorableness was caused by his struggle to stop kissing you. You were pretty certain you were even more whipped than you’d ever been for anything ever. If faced with the choice of denying this man or throwing a bag full of puppies off a cliff, you were pretty certain you’d toss the damn dogs just to let this Baekhyun have his way.

How to be the strong one here? All you wanted to do was keep kissing him forever.

“Baekhyun, it’s after one already,” you said, doing your best impression of your serious voice.

“Yes ma’am.” His hands left your face and his lips pulled back into an O shape as he exhaled a breath with his eyes trained pointedly on the ceiling instead of on your face.

This time when he spun on his feet he didn’t look back and you fisted your hands tightly at your side to keep from reaching for him and pulling him back into you after he’d finally built up the strength to resist the incredible magnetism you both clearly had for each other.

His absence afforded you a moment of quiet; a moment of peaceful thought. The aftereffects of what had just happened still buzzed around inside of your chest, inside your belly, and lower; the lingering warmth purred, making it impossible to ignore the incredible effect even this much of his affection had on you.

You had to return to your bedroom to collect yourself. You’d never be able to face him again without throwing yourself at him in desperation and based on the way he’d flinched when you grazed your fingertip along the waistband of his sweatpants, something was telling you the man was simply not ready for such a huge step in such a short amount of time.

The last thing you wanted was to make him feel pressured to do anything he wasn't ready for.

You were an adult. You could be reasonable and you could control yourself.

With a cold shower and a cold drink of water you could survive this. Maybe you would slip and fall in the shower and bang your head and wake up to him giving you mouth to mouth with his hands on your chest giving you life saving chest compressions that would turn into a steamy make out session with some second base heavy petting in the middle of your bathroom floor. One thing could lead to another. You would already be naked and he’d have just saved your life. Surely the situation would make anyone emotional enough to pop their cherry with the girl of their fucking dreams. Really, he’d have just saved your life and you would be ever so grateful if he could also fuck you while he was at it.

The cold water didn’t help at all.

The cold shower at least helped with the absolute wreck you saw when you looked in the mirror. Had you really looked this bad? You hadn’t slept for shit. You hadn’t eaten your sad floppy toast or had any coffee on your upset stomach and your eyes were puffy from all the crying. You must have simply forgotten that you had any hair at all. It looked exactly like it must have looked when you crawled out from the depths of your bed. At this point you wouldn't be surprised to find some leaves or sticks tangled within the rat’s nest.

At least you hadn’t been wearing any makeup on your eyes to create dramatic black streaks down your cheeks, but a little lipstick or blush on your cheeks might have helped some. Anything would have helped. While you confessed your love to this beautiful man you looked like something scraped off the front grill of a semi truck after a 12 hour haul.

You took a few extra moments after your shower to fix whatever you could. It was a delicate balance. You didn't want to make it obvious that you’d gone through the trouble to make yourself super sexy and appealing looking, but you also couldn't just go back out there looking homeless and lost.

You settled for something in between. Something natural and clean looking on your face. Something pretty smelling on your freshly scrubbed skin and you made your way toward your closet wearing your favorite matching bra and panties set.

There was a little lace and just enough push to make your boobs look hot, but still in a neutral enough color that gave a cool and casual ‘oh this ol’ thing?’ feeling should the opportunity for him to actually see it somehow manifested.

Your real dilemma came as you stood in front of your closet.

Did you really need to wear pants? Couldn’t you just prance around your living room in your thinnest white t-shirt and pick things up off the floor that you’d clumsily knocked off the table or the bookshelf or the kitchen counter?

You compromised, picking out a short flouncy skirt and flowy top that liked to fall off the shoulder at inconvenient times and you practically ran out of your room hoping you hadn’t left him stewing in his post difficult phone call mood for too long.

On your way out of your room a familiar piece of paper stuck to the wood caught your eye and you took a step back to look up at the sign you’d hung there a few weeks ago. You tried to be casual about it. You tried your best to be quiet as you carefully lifted the tape that clung to the surface of the door and the paper rattled and crinkled noisily as you pulled. You heard the telltale sounds of paper ripping in half when you pulled. You’d forgotten to carefully lift the tape you put on the sides and the whole thing made quite a racket coming down. So much for discretion.

You were crumbling the whole mess into a tight ball inside your hands as you walked toward the living room and you caught movement on the sofa.

Baekhyun was sitting there it’s his eyes on your hallway, clearly looking up when he heard you coming. His hands were linked over his lap and he was leaning forward, resting on his forearms.

The instinct to hide it was strong and you saw the dip of Baekhyun’s eyes down to your hands and he looked at the ball of paper you hid inside your fist.

He’d just caught you. You’d ripped off your ‘No Boners’ sign from your door and Baekhyun had seen you do it. Now he was looking away from you and his eyes were wide as he stared across the room, looking anywhere that wasn’t at you. His face was tense. His lips were pulled tight and after a few seconds of blank staring he lifted his left hand to cover over his mouth a moment after you saw his white teeth flash with a wide smile and he closed his eyes up. A single snort of laughter escaped from him before he reeled it in and held his breath to stop it.

You had to save it. You had to be casual, dammit. You looked fucking cute right now and this man was in love with you and you loved him too and — God, his hair was wet. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt and jeans and everything about him looked casual and beautiful, you were staring. You were staring. You had to stop staring. You had to do something to save this.

You stuffed the paper ball into your pocket and took enough steps to reach the counter of the kitchen bar and you stuck an arm out and leaned against it.

You leaned because leaning was ultra casual and you also thought you might drop from the tension you were feeling inside your body right now if you relied only on your own two legs to hold you up.

How could absolutely none of the effects of your cooling shower have lasted the second you saw him again?

“Hi,” you said as you fought an embarrassed smile and the leaning felt so forced you closed your eyes to will your own face to un-flush.

Baekhyun dropped his hand from his face and his cheeks were pink to match his lips. He was smiling wide, clearly amused by your nonsense. You saw his chest shaking as he laughed and he lifted his hand and bit down on his closed fist. The laughter did not last long. He was looking at you though and his wide smile evened out when he dropped his hand. His eyes did not drop from your face. Not right away. You caught the drift when they did though and the heat you felt increased when you noticed the slow way he took you in from the glimpse of your bare shoulder down to the shortness of your skirt and down the length of your bare legs. His eyebrow danced once over his left eye and his tongue peaked out to moisten his lips before he bit down on the bottom one.

“Hi Bug,” he said.

Well, this was new.

...

[To Be Continued]

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10 , FINAL Part 10.5

Tag list: @j-pping @blahblahblah-boo @his-mochi-cheeks @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13 @baekinmylife @insta1010 @nana-banana @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth @totallynerdstuff @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven @kingkushdealer @uhobob @baekswifey @punchmebaekhyun @xlxbaekhyuneex @sorrowinblood @catseohyun @rossemayme @pastelsweaters-and-bubble-t @marovekian1 @versaexact

#Baekhyun #baekhyun fic #baekhyun fanfic #exo fic #exo fanfic #exo ff #baekhyun smut #baekhyun series #exo smut #exo fluff #exo series #baekhyun fluff

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earthchica · 3 years

Text

sweetheart ➝ part five

Chris Evans x Reader OFC! (Michaela Hayes)

Summary: in which Michaela unexpectedly falls for her friend, Chris despite being in a 'no strings attached' relationship with him.

Warning: SMUT, slight angst, fluff ( make up sex *unprotected* 𐤟 michaela’s confession 𐤟 a lot of kisses 𐤟 daddy kink 𐤟 cursing 𐤟 dirty talk )

Word Count: 1.7K

Note: if you enjoyed this, like, comment and reblog 💗

WATTPAD LINK click here

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR PART FIVE

My heart shattered, watching Chris walk out of the door with the look of heartbreak, devastation, sadness.

I just made the biggest mistake of my life, and I didn't know what to do.

I lied.

I lied to him.

I lied because I'm scared...I'm scared of love. I thought if I saw someone else maybe my feelings would go away but no.

There was no denying it anymore.

I was deeply in love with Chris and I told him I didn't. This was one of the things I was afraid of happening.

I felt so angry at myself for hurting him, the only person who showed me admiration, care, and sweetness.

It's been a few weeks since I last saw him. I thought of talking to him but I knew he wouldn't want to.

Everything was falling apart, I was falling apart while staring at my phone, trying to stop myself from texting him.

What was the point if he wasn't gonna answer, my thumb was hovering over the letters that I was just in.

I pause at the sent button, every message I had typed out in these weeks ended up being deleted minutes later.

I gasped when my phone vibrated, I grabbed my phone, thinking it's Chris but it was...just Rae.

Rae: get up, take a shower cause we're meeting Nat and Amira for lunch.

Me: okay!

I got out of this bed, knowing I needed to get some fresh air. I went to take a hot shower and got dressed in a casual outfit.

Rae texted me again saying she was outside, I grabbed my keys, purse, and jacket before leaving my apartment.

Just at the perfect time, Chris was leaving his apartment. I turned around and saw him, wearing a suit and tie.

"Chris...hi" I greeted with a slight smile and he returned a slight smile which made me widened with surprise.

"Hi," He says, locking his door with his keys. There was intense silence between both of us which I hated.

"So um, you got a minute to talk?" I asked softly, bringing the strap of my purse back on my shoulder.

"No, I don't..I have to be somewhere," Chris says, about to make his way downstairs but I stopped him.

"Wait, where are you going? Are you going on a date, are you seeing someone?" I asked multiple questions at a time.

"Don't worry about it, Michaela" He says, looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes, gently moving me out of the way.

"Is this what we're doing now, Chris? Not talking to each other" I asked, watching him go down the stairs.

He didn't even say anything and continued making his way downstairs until I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore.

AN HOUR LATER.

"Why would you do that, Michaela?" Rae asked, placing her hand on my shaking arm and I stopped it.

"Because I'm fucking scared. Okay, I thought If I saw someone else, my feelings would fade" I explained, feeling tears coming down my eyes.

"Michaela, you gotta stop letting fear control your life, before you miss out on something very special. Go talk to him" Amira says.

"I don't think he wants to talk, I tried before I came here. I think I messed up pretty bad, " I said, wiping my eyes.

"Then try a little harder, you need to tell him the truth before it's too late," Rae says encouragingly.

"I agree with Rae and Amira. Chris's a great man with a great heart who's deeply in love with you, you want him to know" Natalie added.

They were both right! Chris deserves to know the truth and he's a great man, an amazing, sweet, selfless man who owns my heart.

I've never in my life have ever felt this way about someone, he's everything I wanted and I wanted him to be more than my friend.

I'll wait until he comes back to his apartment to talk to him, sadly he never did until the next morning.

I know I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions but this got me thinking so many thoughts that I couldn't stop:

did he go on a date?

did he find someone better?

He loves me right then why has he moved on so fast?

I couldn't let my fears get in the way of me possibly having a future with him. I've gotta stop being used to being alone.

I took a deep breath, calming my thoughts for a second before getting up and going to talk to him.

I walk across to his front door, knock, and wait for him. I know now that I've been missing that one thing I was yearning for in my life.

Chris opened the door wearing shorts that were hung dangerously low on his hips, showing off his slightly hairy tattooed chest, six-pack abs, and arms.

“Michaela,-” I cut him off before he spoke by pushing my way into his apartment. "You're gonna shut up and listen,"

"Chris, I'm sorry, okay. I hate what's happening to us and I know it's all my fault." I said, feeling the tears coming.

"Why would you go and do that Michaela?" He asked in a serious tone, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I don't know, maybe because I'm scared," I said, looking between his beautiful blue eyes and his soft lips.

"Scared of what, Michaela? Scared of Me?" He asked curiously, walking towards me slowly and smoothly.

"No, I'm scared of being in love, being in love with you, Chris. I lied about not feeling the same. I thought I could push my feelings away but I can't. I've been in love with you for the longest, I've just been too scared to confess cause I don't want to ruin our friendship and then we started this..." I answered.

His eyes were in utter confusion and excitement which didn't tell me if it was a good or bad thing.

"Please say something," I said, and instead of saying something he brought me into a passionate kiss.

"Say it again," He asked, pulling away with his hand on my cheek. My heart flutters, staring into his eyes.

"I'm in love with you, Chris. I always have and always will'' I said softly and he smiled, leaning down to kiss me softly.

Our lips molding with each other perfectly, he smiles into the kiss pulling me even closer to him.

I pulled away and rested my forehead against his, feeling so amazing inside and out that he knows the truth.

"I've been wanting to say that since forever" I whispered with a smile, kissing his sweet spot on his neck.

"It feels good to finally say it huh?" He asked with a happy smile and I nodded, kissing his lips gently.

I moaned softly into the kiss, feeling his hands all over my body. Chris takes hold of my hand and leads me to his bedroom.

Our lips met again for a second before he moved and pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it somewhere.

I needed him and his love, this making-up moment was way overdue. By the time we hit the bed both our clothes were gone.

A soft moan left my mouth as he began to massage my breasts gently. Chris knows how to pleasure my body so well.

He started to hump between my legs, making me feel how hard he was for me.

Another soft moan left my mouth softly, feeling him suck my right erect nipple with his mouth.

With him humping and sucking on my breast, it was driving me completely nuts. I run my fingers through his hair, knowing he loves that.

He moans, pulls away from my breast to look at my face and I give him a delightful look of love.

“I’m all yours, daddy” I said and he wraps his hand around his dick and slowly rubs himself against my wet folds.

Before sinking into my wetness with one deep push while his hand was on my waist, digging his nails into my skin.

Chris begins a little rough but slowly goes gently, light and sweet while kissing me all over my body.

I moaned, clawing my nails into his back as his thrust became slightly faster.

My hair was pushed out of my face and I got kisses planted on my face, feeling an incredible, sweet pleasure.

"Ride me, sweetheart?" Chris says, lifting me slightly to flip on his back and thrusted his hips up gently.

I moaned, trying to match the rhythm with him, and began to bounce up and down his shaft as his groans and my moans got louder.

"Fuck, yes baby." Chris moans, wrapping his arm around my waist while still riding him like a cowgirl.

I grabbed my breasts, feeling my eyes roll in the back of my head, feeling so good as he was praising me.

"That's it, sweetheart. You're doing so good, fuck I’m-!" He cuts himself off by moaning and spilling his cum inside of me with no warning.

But within a couple of seconds, an intense orgasm comes. “Oh my...fuck I love you, Chris”

We both fell backward on the bed together, Chris pulled out and laid on the other side of the bed.

I took a deep breath and looked over at him and his eyes were closed as he whispered. "I love you too, Michaela"

I bite my lip, feeling his cum slowly coming out of my pussy. I placed my hand and chin on his sweaty chest and kissed it, he opened his eyes to look at me.

We were both still coming off of our cloud of high, no words were spoken and there was no need for them.

Chris and I soon got up and went to take a bath and somehow round two happened during the bath.

――――――――――――

tagged @ultracevans @spndarling @fanficforfun @littlxlie @munstysmind @maroonsunrise83 @palmstreesallday

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arhvste · 3 years

Text

❝ miya atsumu - @notatsumu ❞

in which your boyfriend has a finsta, he just doesn’t know that you know about it,, until you slip up

an - this is for @4kinor1 because she got married to atsumu today and she’s hot <3

giggling to himself, atsumu let himself fall back on the spacious shared bed with his phone in his hands above his face. a wide smile was spread across his face as he stared at the screen. the luminous light flickered in reflection to his eyes as he failed to tear his eyes away.

to anyone else, it’s would’ve looked like the blonde was just staring at any old instagram feed. you on the other hand, knew exactly what he was staring at and it warmed your heart everytime you caught him on his phone staring at certain content. recently, you had discovered atsumu had a whole finsta account only he allowed himself to follow. how you found it? his username wasn’t exactly complex and considering he only followed 96 people on the social media platform on his main account, it wasn’t a surprise the account name ‘@notatsumu’ had come up in your suggestions.

you didn’t mean to discover he had a whole finsta account littered of and with you photos of you, but you did and the fact was confirmed to you a while ago when atsumu had handed you his phone to search something up, but had forgotten to close out of the account. obviously it caught your eye and it would’ve been weirder to not look; so you did just that. a faint guilt crept up inside of you as you scrolled through the multiple photos your boyfriend had captured and posted for himself to look back on, but it simultaneously filled your heart knowing he thought to do such a thing. to keep a social diary for himself of the thing he loved the most; you.

that was the first and last time you saw the account. you never opened it again because atsumu never left an open opportunity to do so like he did the first time. you already felt fulfilled enough knowing exactly what it was that brought him so much joy whilst looking at his phone. there was a particular glint the setter caught in his eye whenever you noticed him looking at his own account or uploading a thread of new photos to it.

“tsumu!” you called out making him jump. the phone slipped out of his hands and landed flat on his face resulting in a very distressed atsumu. “fuck!” he yelped letting the phone slide off his face and onto the floor as he brought both hands up to cup his own face.

immediately, you rushed over to his side where you replaced his hands with your own, cooing soft apologies and pressing warm kisses over his face. “i forgive ya don’t worry.” he assured you, relishing in the attention you were showering him with.

phone nearly forgotten about on the floor, atsumu brought his hands up to cup your own face as he smiled warmly at you. his whole world right above his head, your eyes providing as the universe with twinkling stars. grabbing for the device on the floor, atsumu held the phone up and shamelessly snapped the sight before him as you laughed. “mugshot.” he muttered as if it would cover his tracks.

you smiled and shook your head. “caption it something nice okay?” your comment just a passing one but atsumu’s eyes widened as he halted. “pardon?” he quirked an eyebrow as you stated at him from below. realising your mistake, you hands flew to your mouth.

“what?” you airily laughed in attempts to brush off your slip up hoping he wouldn’t notice. “caption it? why would i caption it?” his tone curious with traces of panic.

“just in case you wanna post it on your instagram or something.” you cautiously spoke, each sentence risky as if your words were keeping you on thin ice and one wrong move could send you through and into the cold and piercing water.

“my main?” he pressed on unknowingly leaving you an opening. “you have another account other than your main?” you feigned curiosity as atsumu’s frown tugged a little more.

“hm maybe.” he replied turning his phone off and putting it down on the bedside table beside him. catvcube you off guard, atsumu’s hand reached your waist as he suddenly pulled you onto the bed on top of him where he held your hips firmly in place. “but ya knew that already, didn’t ya?” a smirk crept on on his face as you felt your cheeks warm up.

you didn’t know how to reply. should you confess to your knowledge of his account? should you keep feigning ignorance? you weren’t too sure but your boyfriends grip on you told you he was going to get the responses he wanted one way or another. his fingers began moving as you felt the familiar feeling of your boyfriends persistence begin. you squirmed on top of him as he bang tickling your sides.

“admit it, ya knew i had another instagram.” he demanded, smirk still present on his face. your laughs filled the room as atsumu’s heart filled with joy. “n-no!” you continued ignorance as you felt your body begin to ache from the constant distraction of atsumu’s fingers. “liar!” he whined as he showed no mercy.

tears began streaming down your face as your stomach began to hurt. giving in you held your hands up and tried to catch your breath. “o-okay! okay t-tsumu i-i knew!” you sighed in relief as atsumu’s movements came to a halt, an embarrassed smile now taking form on his face.

“it was an accident though, you left it open when you gave me your phone one time and i, well i saw.” you admitted, heat rising to your face once more.

atsumu bit the inside of his cheek as he turned away a little, bashfulness building up. “ya don’t think... it’s weird... do ya?” he queered, eyes averting from your own.

dismissing his insecurity you gasped and shook your head profusely. “no, no, no! tsumu, no it’s not weird! i actually think... it’s kinda cute.” your voice genuine threaded with the thinnest thread of embarrassment yourself. to have someone love you as much as atsumu did, you were bound to get a little flustered sometimes. he was good at doing that.

“ya sure? cause i can delete it if you-“

“-atsumu. i love you. it’s not weird.” you cupped the sides of his face as he stared up at you with adoration. his love grew for you by the second. the lengths he had gone to in attempts to cover his social activity seemed stupid now. there was never a need to hide it from you. this was just his love language and now he felt bad from depriving you of hearing it.

“sorry.” he muttered, calloused hand reaching up to interlock with one of your own resting on his face. you smiled as shook your head. “no, i’m sorry for intruding on your personal things. i should’ve closed it down myself.” you assured him as his eyes twinkled, his love for you forever expanding.

lowering yourself so you were pressed against his chest, you pressed your lips upon atsumu’s warm ones as he melted into your touch. only you had this effect on him. nobody else ever able to compare to the way you made him feel. you were the only one with the key to the cage of butterflies situated inside of him, unlocked whenever you were around him. the feeling of his heart glowing only ever occurred when you were involved. you quite literally made him brighter. his smile wider and crinkles under his eyes more prominent. miya atsumu was hopeless when it came to you.

pulling away, atsumu sighed as he rested a hand against your cheek, thumb lovingly swiping over your cheekbone.

“i love ya.” he confirmed, nothing but genuine and raw love evident in his tone.

“i love you too tsumu.” you replied softly, the same adoration he held for you clear in your own eyes.

you stayed like that just for a few moments, the feeling of natural but solid love blanketing over the two of you as your boyfriend held you tighter in his arms, his whole world exactly where he needed it to be.

“i’d love you even more if you let me be your second follower though.” you spoke up cheekily, a grin creeping up on your face.

and how was atsumu’s supposed to say no when you looked like that?

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @dearestmegumi @kuxredere @warakou @iss6s @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @wompwomphq @waitforitillwritemywayout @webworld @brokeasshoee @sunasbabie @rowley-with-ackerman

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

#miya atsumu #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #hq #hq x reader #hq x you #atsumu imagine #haikyuu imagine #hq imagine

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mizunetzu · 3 years

Text

Mr Mizunetzu’s secret Santa! Kita x reader - cold, cold observations (he loves me so it’s okay)

( @luv-hqs hi HAHA!! I was ur secret Santa >:) Funny story, I accidentally deleted the ask you gave me that had your preferences, but I vaguely remember there being a “Kita” and “angst” LMAO SO I ROLLED WITH THAT TELL ME IF I GOT IT WRONG BUT HEY YALL GET UR FIRST INARIZAKI FIC FROM ME )

⚠️warnings - ANGST? Unintentionally cold Kita baby doesn’t mean it I swear, sad ending

Pronouns - male, he/him

you can find part two here!

——————

“I like you, Kita-kun! Please, please go out with me!”

(Y/n) thrusted himself into a sharp, 90 degree bow, squeezing his eyes shut and balling his hands up into fists, planted firmly against his sides. Kita looked down at him.

“Sure.”

“Wh-“ (Y/n’s) head tossed up, his (h/c)-colored hair whipping back as he did so. “Really?”

Kita nodded. “I like you too, so I don’t see why you’re so surprised. People date people who they like, right?”

A wide smile stretched across (Y/n’s) face, illuminating it just enough to catch the pretty cherry blossom petals fluttering around him. His face shone like the sun, even daring to put the big ball of light to shame. He stood back up, his smile still noticeably big and happy.

“Please take care of me then, Kita-kun.” (Y/n) stepped forward and sheepishly brushed his fingers against Kita’s shoulder.

‘He loves me...’

——

Please take care of me.

It was a simple request. A simple phrase. “Please take care of me,” not in a babied, maternal way, but in the way that (Y/n) hoped him and Kita would be as a lovey-dovey couple you see in romance manga. The kind you see and can’t help but coo at.

“You need to stop flailing your arms around. You’re weakening your spike, (L/n)-kun.”

Kita called out so suddenly, (Y/n) mid-spike, making him sputter and land awkwardly. The ball hit the net with a thud, before landing on the same side of the court it came from. Kita looked at (Y/n) skeptically. It was his normal, straight-laced face, but everyone in the gym could sense the intimidating aura Kita was projecting.

No one wanted to be on the receiving end of that aura, to be cornered by Kita’s judgementful gaze. Yet here (Y/n) was. How unlucky.

“I’m...I’ll do it better next time, Shicchan.”

“Shicchan?”

“W-well...you don’t mind it when I call you that in private, Sh-“

“This isn’t private, (L/n)-kun. We’re in practice.” Kita bore holes into (Y/n’s) skull, who was desperately trying to look anywhere but Kita. Aran scratched the back of his neck.

“Uh-it’s just a nickname dude, plus, you guys are dating, right? So it’s natural that (L/n)-san would call you that.”

“That doesn’t distract from the fact you need to get your spikes over the net, (L/n)-kun. Not on it.” Kita paid Aran no mind, and continued staring down (Y/n) with a heavy, emotionless gaze.

“S-sorry...” (Y/n) shrank back into himself. Everyone who was staring immediately scrambled to look away once Kita looked back. Kita wordlessly walked away.

“Damn, I’m sorry man.” Aran’s eyebrows contorted into a look of pity, while (Y/n) awkwardly chuckled.

“S’fine. He was...probably just having a bad day s’all.” (Y/n) brushed off Kita’s cold judgment faster than Aran expected. He smiled.

“He loves me, so it’s okay.”

——

Today is a good day. (Y/n) hummed as he strolled down the path to practice. In fact, today is a great day. (Y/n) didn’t know why, but it was a great day.

(Y/n) strut into the gym, carrying bag of steamed pork buns he’d bought at the convenience store a few minutes ago. The gyms inhabitants stopped one by one, their focuses shifting from their individual practice to (Y/n) and his bag of food.

Hungry players, especially Atsumu and Osamu, flocked towards (Y/n) with hungry stomachs or a sense of curiousness. Kita caught the ball he was tossing in the air and looked at (Y/n) with blank eyes.

“You’re disrupting practice.” Kita said, not moving an inch from where he was standing. (Y/n’s) smile faltered a bit.

“W-well I just felt like buying the team some food-I feel like we’ve been working hard and we deserve it-“

“You came to practice late to buy food that you could’ve bought after practice?” Kita’s question felt more like a jab at (Y/n’s) chest. Everyone crowding around (Y/n) froze up, a sudden icy-cold shooting down their spines. Kita’s unwanted, scary aura was back.

“I...”

“Why would you do that?” Kita cocked his head to the side. “You’re late to practice-you don’t even have your gym clothes on-and since you have food it’s either we eat it now and can’t practice-because we might get stomachaches-or we eat it after and it gets cold and you waste your money.”

The once bright smile caused by (Y/n’s) ‘good day’ finally cracked. He looked at Kita with embarrassment, trying to play it off with a less cheery, forced smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but his throat closed up and no words came out.

Kita sighed. “Well I don’t want you to waste your money. I guess we’re eating (L/n)-sans steamed buns now.” He turned to the coach. “Is it ok if we take a break from practice? (L/n)-kun brought steamed buns. If we’re lucky we can practice at the end of our practice time once we digest.”

Coach nodded awkwardly. Kita walked up to (Y/n), whose bag of food was being shared and distributed amongst Inarizaki. (Y/n) pressed his lips into a fine line.

“I’m...I’m sorry Shinsuke-kun.” (Y/n’s) happy day was weathered down and left with empty sadness in seconds. He felt so proud and courteous for buying his team a treat purely out of impulse, but now he just felt guilty for disturbing practice.

“It’s alright, I guess.” Kita’s words held no value, as he pecked (Y/n) on the cheek lovelessly. (Y/n) shot him a weak smile, cupping the cheek whom he had kissed gently.

‘He...loves me...so it’s okay.’

‘So it’s okay...’

——

It was such a small gesture. The small act of Kita drawing his hand away when (Y/n) reached out to hold it, him bringing his hand up to lock away in his pocket as they walked through the schools hallways. It was such a small, infinitesimal detail that (Y/n) should’ve brushed off with ease. Y’know, maybe his hand was just cold.

But he couldn’t.

He hesitantly slowed to a stop. “Shin...Kita-kun.”

Kita looked back, a blank look laced with the tiniest amount of confusion weaved inside. “Did something happen?”

“Do you love me?”

Kita dropped his voice down to a whisper. “Of course I do.” It came out his mouth no more than an automated machine would, as he dragged (Y/n) gently to the side of the hallway. “Be careful next time. We’re lucky not much people were around. Someone could’ve heard you.”

‘Heard you?’ (Y/n) furrowed his eyebrows. He wasn’t angry. No, no he wasn’t angry. He just felt like someone hollowed out his insides.

“Is it so bad if people heard me? That I love you and wanna know if you love me too?”

“Yes.”

Kita had no filter. He announced it like saying ‘The sky is blue’, stating it like a fact he expected (Y/n) to know. And he wasn’t even adorning a stern or intentionally harsh face while he said it. Though, it was the way Kita said it so bluntly and emotionlessly that made it hurt the most.

But now that (Y/n) thought about it, when was the last time Kita smiled because of him?

Has he ever even seen him smile?

Has he ever seen, touched, or heard any sort of proof of his love?

Of Kita Shinsuke’s love?

(Y/n) downcast his face. “I just wanted to hold your hand.”

“You know how people feel about gay relationships. Not even my baa-san knows yet. So what if one of our classmates see-“

“-but the whole team knows-!”

“-and I trust the team. They won’t say a word until we’re sure and ready to tell everyone.”

(Y/n) stayed silent after that. Then, he opened his mouth.

“...Then do you trust me?”

It came out like a cracked, hoarse whisper. Kita, for once, look stunned. His eyebrows raised slightly and his eyes widened, even if it were just a little bit.

“Of course I do.”

Another automated response.

(Y/n) nodded, letting Kita lead them back to the middle of the hallway to walk to practice. (Y/n) gave up on trying to hold Kita’s cold, cold hands, and instead thought solemnly to himself.

‘He...he loves...’

He paused. He looked over at Kita, who was looking straight ahead. He looked back down to his walking feet.

‘Does he love me?’

——

Kita looked around the gym. He saw Atsumu and Osamu yelling at each other about something he couldn’t quite make out, Suna fishing out his phone from his pocket, and Ginjima chatting and peppering a volleyball back and forth with Aran.

But no (Y/n).

Kita tapped Suna on the shoulder, who was zooming in and taking pictures of Osamu’s disgusted face. He hummed in acknowledgement, now trying to zoom in on Atsumu on the ground.

“Have you seen (L/n)-kun today?”

“In class, yeah. At practice, no.” Suna murmured. Kita nodded and thanked him for the info. That meant he was at school today, at least.

Excusing himself from practice, Kita stepped out of the gym. I mean, why wouldn’t he be worried about the whereabouts of his boyfriend? Especially with how odd he’s been acting, Kita couldn’t help but worry just a smidge.

After what seemed like hours of pointless searching, he eventually found a mop of (h/c)-hair sitting on a stone bench under the same cherry tree (Y/n) had confessed to him to. Kita had checked the place on impulse, not actually expecting to see someone there, but it was better than nothing. Kita walked up to the boy sitting with his back faced to him, and without even saying anything, (Y/n) gave a small hum.

“Mm.” Was all he said. His back was slouched, and he was still in his school uniform. His school bag laid pathetically strewn on the grass next to him, and if Kita could see his expression, it was probably unreadable.

“Practice is going on.”

“Mhm.”

“You should be at practice.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why aren’t you going to practice?”

“Is everything about practice with you?” (Y/n) lifted his head. His voice was still calm, but it raised in volume ever so slightly. “Practice, practice, practice. What about how I feel?”

Kita opened his mouth to say something, but for the first time, nothing came out. He didn’t know what to do. Was he mad at him? Did he do something wrong?

“I...” (Y/n) choked back his words, letting out a sigh and slumping down on the stone bench once more. He flicked a fallen cherry blossom petal off his shoulder. “Never mind. I don’t feel like going to practice, tell coach th-“

“Is there something wrong?”

Kita question had come out of nowhere. (Y/n) bunched his hands into fists. “...now you notice?” He turned around, red in the face and tears falling freely in unison with the bittersweet cherry blossoms falling mockingly around them. “Tell me, Kita,”

“Do you love me?”

Kita furrowed his eyebrows. “...of course I-“

“”of course I do.” That’s what you always say..! Say something else, dammit! Say you love me!”

(Y/n) abruptly rose from his seat, stepping over the bench and grabbing Kita by the collar. He pulled him closer to his face, shaking him by the shirt with knuckles that almost turned white.

“M-Make me believe that you love me!” (Y/n’s) tears cascaded down his face, flinging in the air as he whipped his head down so suddenly. Small, choked sobs ripped through (Y/n), yet all Kita could do was stare. Stare with his blank, emotionless face. (Y/n) took his silence as his answer. The silence was so loud.

“...I think we should break up.” Kita’s eyes widened.

“Why?”

(Y/n’s) iron clad grip on Kita’s shirt loosened, he stepped back, face feeling raw after crying. “I don’t want to be with someone who can’t tell me they love me. Once you can tell me you love me, and mean it, I’m all ears.”

“(L/n)-kun-“

(Y/n) reached over the bench and pulled his school bag up, dusting off the stupid pink petals that littered around his bag. He slung it over his shoulder numbly, and shot a curt “See you tomorrow.” At Kita.

All Kita could do was stare. With the emotionless face he now wished held more vibrancy.

“...I love you, (Y/n).”

It came out foreign on his lips. It was the first time he’d said those words, hadn’t it? I love you. A cracked whisper, and even then it sounded like it held no value. Kita took one last linger at the now-empty schoolyard, and walked back to practice.

——

When Kita came back to the gym, everyone was sitting in a semi-circle surrounding a whiteboard. Various lineups and positions were drawn hastily on the board, and everyone looked towards the gym door which Kita had come in through. He silently dragged his feet over to the circle of players, and took a seat behind Aran.

“Where were you?” Aran whispered. Kita ignored him, the lump in his throat stinging and bloating his vocal cords up to the point he couldn’t talk.

Every moment, every interaction, every cold, cold observation Kita ever had with (Y/n) flashed before his eyes. The coach’s voice and the squeak of the whiteboard marker melded together as memories of how kind (Y/n) had been played like a dvd in his mind. He’s been so warm. So, so fucking warm. Every piece of warmth (Y/n) shared with him, he took for granted when he told himself he wouldn’t. He wasn’t normally like that. But he’s been so, so cold.

Silent, hot tears blurred Kita’s vision. They fell slowly, and dripped onto the hardwood floor with no meaning whatsoever. He was so cold. He clasped his hands together, shaking, and trying to hush his ragged breathing and sniffles. He felt so cold. Eventually, the coach stopped talking, and one by one players started turning around, asking if Kita was ok.

But he wasn’t. He was so cold.

——————

Kokoro is brokoro in Mr Mizunetzu’s Christmas event

#kita x reader #kita shinsuke #shinsuke kita x reader #haikyuu shinsuke #hq shinsuke #kita x male reader #kita x y/n #kita x you #Kita x m reader #kita shinsuke x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu boys #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #kita angst #mr Mizunetzu’s secret Santa

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