#great parents
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having pondered the matter, i've decided it makes better sense for viserra targaryen to be motivated by wanting to escape the fates of her mother and sisters through a marriage to the widowed baelon rather than dreams of queenship.
even though viserra was alysanne's tenth child, she wasn't the last. while she was too young to be cognizant of the physical toll birthing valerion & gaemon had on her mother, (with alysanne being bedridden half a year after the birth) she was old enough to be aware of the concerns made about alysanne's age during her pregnancy with gael.
alongside alysanne's reproductive abuse by jaehaerys is what happened to viserra's sisters. both alyssa and daella died in childbed quite recently. to viserra, delicate daella might have been more predictable than someone like alyssa who'd already successfully given birth twice before.
why on earth would that be appealing to viserra? to anyone?
that's why she tries to "seduce" baelon. (air quotes because she was FIFTEEN). it's not because she sees him as a path to queenship, it's because she knows baelon, knows that he's devoted to his two sons, and isn't interested in having more which is part of the reason he doesn't remarry after alyssa. with that, viserra is less likely to become a similar victim to her mother & sisters. would she be taking a gamble? sure, but viserra probably preferred to try her luck with someone she knew rather than some stranger who been widowed 3 times!!!
im not trying to refute her vanity or that she wouldn't have preferred being queen, but like- baelon wasn't even heir to the throne at the time? aemon was still around, he could father a son, and he had rhaenys. baelon wasn't guaranteed anything. as far as anyone knew the throne was not in his future. that's what makes alysanne's comments so nonsensical to me. waving aside the queenship thing, what else did they except with their family's glorification of incest? the targaryens being held up as closer to gods? no wonder the vain viserra who agreed with the squire who called her one thought baelon a worthier match for her than a manderly lord far away from court.
#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fire and blood#viserra targaryen#alysanne targaryen#daella targaryen#alyssa targaryen#there's also the fact that jae and aly just weren't..#great parents#jae was way worse but aly not much better esp with viserra#so her failure to find out the true reason for viserra's pursuit of baelon would fit the pattern#fire and blood speculation
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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IMASFHSJHSGJFHK 😭
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Do you think Jesus ever felt homesick. Do you think he missed his mom
#wolfy religious tedtalks#thinking about tjat time i went to china for like two months#for a study program#and i had a banger time it was great#but when i went to bed at night id sort of just sit around#and it was already like 11 pm and my parents were asleep#i couldnt really call them#but id sit and read or watch some videos or eat noodles and check the clock and look at that its 2am#what i wouldnt give for a hug right about now#do you think that after all his miracles he would crawl into an unfamiliar bed and he would think of his own in nazareth
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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THE SAME-
Reaction to scooped Mike
CANON, they would be friends,,,
#ask reply#Abby gets ANOTHER big brother#she may have absentee parents BUT SHE has like 3 older brothers 2 older sisters#and like every animatronic#and many friends ghosts or otherwise#SO I THINK SHES winning right now#Jeremy is probably great with kids#he sees their level has the whimsy in his heart still#they both think Michael is cool af BAHA
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DP x DC: Two Dads are better than none
This is probably because I have the Bruharvy brainrot rn and Two Face is one of my favorite characters
Danny’s parents wanted a second child, but years of exposure to ectoplasm left them sterile. It turns out that there are some side effects to living with radioactive materials from another plane of existence.
Their Solution? Cloning
The issue? The sample they got while in Gotham wasn’t exactly “pure.” After getting a blood sample from a fight between Batman and Two Face, things got little cross contaminated. Now what does this mean?
Danny is the biological child of BOTH Bruce and Harvey
Years pass, Danny grows up, Danny half dies, and life goes on.
Until Danny has to flee Amity. Maybe it’s the GIW, maybe it's and identity reveal gone wrong, maybe the Nasty Burger explosion happened and Danny fled to avoid being taken in by Vlad.
Danny runs. He also discovered who his biological parents were: Bruce Wayne, and Harvey Dent. Between the Billionaire and the criminal, he wasn’t exactly thrilled with the choices, but he still had to choose
So he flipped a coin
Harvey: So you’re biologically me and Bruce’s kid after your parents used our DNA to make a clone
Danny: Yep
Harvey: And between a billionaire and someone considered criminally insane, you chose me? Why?
Danny: ... I flipped a coin.
Harvey: You really are my kid.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#Harvey and Bruce are Danny's bio dads#Danny flipped a coin and is staying with Harvey/two face#Harvey is probably a decent parent if a little unsure how to handle Danny at times#Two face is not a great parent but he's surprisingly trying#Harvey makes sure danny is fed and taken care of#the two face personality would also take Danny on a heist if harvey didn't want him to leave danny alone#It's definitely NOT what Harvey meant#Danny is just adjusting to living in gotham and living with Harvey/two face#eventually they'd have to tell bruce#but they're trying to make things work
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There’s such an easy way to wrangle all of the Batchildren. Bruce, take some notes: stickers
Especially the golden star stickers. If you pull one of those out? All of them are going fucking feral
Maybe he learnt it from some other single mom of too many kids™️ at some PTA meeting or whatever
*clears throat* here’s a demonstration of what I think would happen.
Batman: I have acquired some new knowledge and have decided to implement them into our training
Batchildren: yeah; ok; whatever; no one cares
Batman, pulls out some stickers from his bat pouches™️:
All of the fucking Batchildren: *going feral, ballistic over the stickers, actually listen for once*
#I’m in hs and my class eats that shit up bro#I would love to get some stickers :)#Man I’d be a great parent#tim drake#red hood#bruce wayne#batman#red robin#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#batfam#dcu#duke thomas#cassandra cain#steph brown#stephanie brown#nightwing#dc robin
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😴 after the holidays 💛🩵
#nanago#i'm late but happy holidayss!#they don't exactly look like holiday pieces but just pretend they are#(also bc I am pushing the fur parents agenda lol) 🥹🫶#tysm for all the support this year!!#Have great year ahead!! 🥹💖💖#petri art
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DP x DC Prompt #14
When J'onn offered to go to the distress signal, alone, he wasn't sure what he was expecting. Other Leaguer's were on standby, of course, but J'onn didn't sense any danger. In fact it was almost ... suspiciously quiet.
That's why when he came across a child who was bleeding so much he shouldn't even be alive he was more than concerned. The kid just smiled at J'onn, made a pun, did some sort of ... dance move? And then promptly passed out.
J'onn suddenly understood how Batman had an "adoption addiction."
#finemeal prompt#dp x dc#j'onn j'onzz#danny fenton#i just love them your honor#i think j'onn and danny is untouched parental unit material#not completely untouched#there's a lot of great j'onn and danny stories out there#if anyone wants any rec's lemme know#i got a lot#i think one is still ongoing#and it has my entire heart
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Teen Years! It's Sandra Lynn in her highschool teenage years
#this was supposed to be just a sketch#but the idea of punk sandra lynn was soo tempting lmao#potential series perhaps!#which parent would be great to see next?#dimension 20#fanart#dimension 20 fanart#d20 fanart#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20 fantasy high#sandra lynn faeth
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a giant adopts a group of orphaned humans. these humans are not actually children--they are all in their late 20s--but to a 100 foot tall giant who lives for centuries, these tiny baby humans are OBVIOUSLY children in need of adoption. this works out wonderfully for everyone involved
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there are two parental bonds inside you:
one soft and loving towards each other
the other fierce and protective of each other
may i please have @somerandomdudelmao blessing on one of these versions? 🙏
i don't know which one to put my focus on and the vibes for each would change the way i'd ink and color them
#tmnt#rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#cass apocalyptic series#cass fanart tag#my art#rise of the turtles#rise of the tmnt#future leo#rottmnt casey jr#casey jr#if someone else could ink and color these for me that's be great#i like sketching and then my energy fizzles out and i want to move on to another sketch OTL#the vibes are either a children's book parental bonding or a survival horror parental bonding no in-between#oh hey it's my first time drawing cj :D
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i don't know how else to say it: jon snow comes from two long lines of reckless magical bullshit and is basically a melting pot of feral royal blood but that's less important than the fact that he was raised by ned stark.
#jon snow#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#house stark#ned stark#asoiaf shitpost#eddard stark#best dad#a song of ice and feels#maybe#i think it's incredibly important that rhaegar and lyanna created jon#i think their legacies will be influential on him and his status as targaryen-stark has magical significance#but they didn't PARENT him#congrats to ned for making the chosen one a levelheaded anxious man who cares more about his little sister than the existential threat#and a GREAT haggler :)
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*Dick hangs up*
Bruce: Huh.
Duke: Uh oh. What's going on, B?
Bruce: Dick usually says "I love you" when we hang up. And then he sings it and then he whispers it. This time he just said, "gotta go, dad"
Cass: Well, maybe... He's gotta go?
Bruce: Yeah, maybe. It just feels like Dick hasn't been around as much lately. Last week, he only came to four out of seven breakfasts, and he missed bat-equitment maintenance day to, and I quote, "train with Wally." He didn't even come over to watch that other unrelated Wayne family on Family Feud.
Damian: Their performance was- survey says- disgraceful.
Bruce: I mean, I don't want to just throw around the D-word but...
Steph: *Gasp* Dracula disorder?
Bruce: Drifting. As in we're all drifting apart. This was my worry when Dick moved out to Blüdhaven, that we'd see him less and less. And then from there, who knows what would happen?
Jason: oh my god, is it me driving him away? I'm always pestering Dick with annoying questions like "How much do you think your arms weigh? Like if you took them off your body and weighed them separately?"
Tim: *gasp* it could be my fault. The other day, when Dick and I went to the movies, I got a small popcorn to share and he said, "I wish you'd gotten a medium."
Damian: well, I know it's not me. I'm amazing.
#Jason lives with roy which is another sore spot for bruce and when tim moved onto his boat bruce actually had a panic attack#like bruce is the really overprotective and overbearing but loving parent who gets concerned if you dont end your calls with 'i love you'#prove me wrong#batkids#batfam#bat family#incorrect batfamily quotes#dick grayson#bruce wayne#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#stephanie brown#duke thomas#cassandra cain#incorrect batfam quotes#source: the great north#and i guess#wally west#got a shoutout too
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AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos
#he just like me fr#dungeon meshi#laios touden#actuallyautistic#aphelion.txt#dunmeshi#laios#autism things#im definitely chewing on that marcille lore/angst too but the laios nightmare sequence hit close to home!!#dont think falin had a great relationship with their parents either#i mean aside from being willing to abandon her in the dream. idk if that's 100% accurate to how they acted.#it didnt seem like her affinity for ghosts was gonna go down real good in that flashback#also i need to write that post abt how falin has girl autism (dont ask me what that means unless you want to enter an unskippable cutscene)#actually its pretty easy to hit most dunmeshi chars w the hammer of autism laios is just the most obvious#senshi hyperfixating and having meltdowns (Waterwalk Incident.) and low empathy for people until he's gotten Attached#i need to go find that post someone made about chilchuck being the token allistic it was so fucking funny#i have like 3 more dunmeshi autism metas in my mental queue apparently. please make me shut up
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