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1kook · 3 years

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viki & hickeys

the 8th installment to netflix & chill :~)

SUMMARY Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air. WARNINGS a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries MISC there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide RATING m (18+) WC 16.3k !!!! ik its fckin LOOOONG

NOTES (!) in true Viki fashion, here’s an nc fic where there’s like 3 different plot lines n a hot male antagonist <3 this series started off as just me wanting to write smut n it still is! now i just like to infuse different levels of angst into it as well </3 as always, lemme know what u think!! i proofread it twice but one of those times had been at 4 am so if u see a typo no u didn't. also here’s a gif of jungkook crying during a dolly parton performances and here’s another gif of jungkook crying bc it’s scary how pretty he looks

Being evil and hot does not come for free. As you’ve long since learned in the past twenty-three years of your life, you truly can’t have it all.

There is always some deliberating character flaw the universe must bestow upon you in order to level you out, make you fall onto the same plane as all the other mortals. Everyone has one, no matter how small or insignificant. Doyeon’s is that she doesn’t know how to work a straightening iron. Namjoon's is that he can’t tell the difference between water and liquor. Jungkook, despite all his tech-y nerdiness, doesn’t know how to do his own taxes. And yours? You don’t know shit about romcoms.

Your knowledge on the romantic genre is what leads to this predicament now, the ring on your finger heavy as Doyeon regards you with what is perhaps the most unimpressed look known to mankind. “This is a promise ring,” she says bluntly, the bustling sounds of the coffee shop around you the soundtrack to your sudden realization.

“No,” you deny, even though you know she’s right. “It’s an engagement ring.”

Doyeon rolls her eyes. “Babe,” she starts slowly, talks to you like you’re a dorky high schooler with her first boyfriend, “did he ask you to marry him?”

The truth is, the timing had been weird. It had been a few days after you’d rocked Jungkook’s world so you understand if he felt the sudden need to pop the question. But you were also sick as fuck that day, had only vaguely remembered the events because you were too busy with the snot up your nose and the raging fever you were battling. Had Jungkook asked you to marry him?

You’re not so sure.

It’s been a little over a month since then, and sure his lack of proactive wedding planning was a little weird, but you had always assumed Jungkook was one of those people who liked long engagements. Liked to drag out the last few months as a bachelor. Maybe he was waiting until you were both financially stable or something, who knows.

Doyeon had been on some soul-searching journey around the country, so she hadn't been home for a while, had only heard of the ring through a two-second snapchat. This is the first time she’s seeing you and it in person; you can tell by the expression on her face that she’s rightfully disappointed.

“Have you no shame, woman?” she tuts, arms crossed over her chest. “You have me parading around the world bragging about your engagement— just for this?”

You knock your forehead against the table, know it’s dirty and icky, but you deserve it. “Listen,” you huff. “I’ve only seen The Notebook, like, once.”

She scoffs. “I can tell. This is so embarrassing, don’t tell me you’ve brought it up to him?”

At her words you startle, nearly send the drinks flying across the floor. “No!” you shout, mindlessly reaching to twist the ring around your finger. It’s become a habit these past few weeks, a comfort to feel it around you. Granted, the feeling is a little muted now. “Of course he’d get me a promise ring,” you grumble, gaze flickering down to the silver band on your ring finger. “Jungkook loves all that cheesy corny stuff.” He really did.

You’ve had enough of Doyeon’s disappointment, decide this coffee date has brought you enough three am anxiety material for the next year and a half. You conclude your date by taking a walk around town, arms locked together as you laugh at people who pass by because you’re both a little mean.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” she says, and you agree. Well, a promise ring certainly meant something. It was, essentially, a pre-engagement ring. And the engagement ring that followed was a pre-wedding ring. And a wedding ring was, well, a wedding ring. Your heartbeat thunders at the thought. “You’re busy right now anyway,” she points out, snapping you out of your bumbling thoughts. “Aren’t you getting promoted at work soon?”

Oh, you certainly were getting promoted at work. After many grueling months of hard work and dedication, the fruits of your labor were finally being recognized. Gone were the days of useless desk work, intern-like errands that barely required the use of any higher-order brain functions. You had worked hard these past few months, proved your worth over and over again, until you were here. Getting promoted into a new branch at your company— one where your talents were actually needed. And truth be told, there was one man to thank for that.

Your friend and superior, Kim Seokjin.

Seokjin is a great boss. In fact, you could argue he’s the best in the entire world and that, if it wasn’t for him, you would have quit this job that first month you started. But you had him to push you along, friendly smiles and encouragements that kept you going until this point, where you’re being promoted up into a branch where your degree finally matters. And it was all thanks to him! What Kim Namjoon was to Jungkook, Kim Seokjin was to you.

So what if he cheated on his wife and flirted with the secretaries— Seokjin was practically a god in your eyes.

And what Seokjin did in his free time was frankly none of your business anyway. You were colleagues at work, got along fairly well, but outside of work you were practically strangers. He was your beloved work colleague, someone Jungkook teased you about endlessly despite never having met him, and you were immensely thankful for him. “Should I be scared he’ll steal you from me?” Jungkook had joked one night, standing behind you as you scrolled through your company profile page. “He is a little handsome.”

You had pinched his side, smiling at his feigned concern when he pressed his lips to your temple. “You’re right,” you had joked back, “he is sooo cool.” And Jungkook had bitten you on the shoulder, laughed that pretty laugh when you yelped in surprise.

Anyway, Kim Seokjin was a god, Jungkook was on his way to maybe, hopefully, one day, being your husband, and all was well.

To honor this moment in time, you decide to swing by Jungkook’s place after your date with Doyeon, finding him lazily sprawled across his living room couch while What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim? plays on the Jumbotron. He’s in between projects right now, so he’s spent most of his time relaxing and catching up on all his favorite shows.

Which brings you back to that deliberating character flaw of yours: no knowledge of the romantic genre to utilize in your everyday life. Your love language has always been blunt words, teasing jabs, the raw and unfiltered type of love. Emotions? Impossible to figure out. You’ve gotten pretty far in life reading verbal and physical cues; with Jungkook, you always know he’s upset when he does the little tongue-against-cheek thing, and it has saved you from many potential arguments.

On the other hand, it is so obvious what Jungkook’s love language is when he spends fifty percent of his time on Viki, home to some of the most cheesy kdramas in existence. Most guys spend their weekends watching sports or dramatic action movies, but here was Jungkook. Watching some guy try to court his secretary.

(Okay, he does watch sports and action movies too, but that’s not the point!)

“Hello, sweet boy,” you greet, plopping down beside him. Jungkook smiles back softly. He’s serving absolute pre-pre-husband deliciousness right now, cute glasses, fluffy curls, plaid bottoms that make him look so comfy. God, you were going to suck his dick tonight.

Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, tastes like the chocolate cake you specifically told him not to eat without you. He blindsides you before you can scold him, pulls you onto his lap where the swell of his cock nudges against your thigh. Oh, you were definitely going to suck his dick and ride him well into the sunrise.

“What’s my pretty girl doing here tonight?” he asks, cutely looping his fingers through yours. “Thought you were with the Wicked Witch of the West today?”

You roll your eyes, reposition yourself in a laughable attempt at pretending like you’re actually interested in the show. “We just went out for lunch,” you explain, watching the hot lead saunter across the screen. Juicy ass, but nothing compared to Jungkook’s.

There’s a question lingering on the tip of your tongue, Doyeon’s explanations mixed with your worries, and you hold it for exactly ten seconds before you’re turning to face him head on, eyes going a little crossed from how close he is. “Hey,” you say bluntly. “Is this a promise ring?” you ask, wiggle your finger in his face.

Jungkook blinks, once, twice, and then his face shoots up in flames. “Maybe,” he mumbles, lips pursed as he tries to avoid your gaze. He was adorable. You laugh, endeared by the red flush that crawls over his cute little cheeks and up his ears. Unable to stop yourself, you squeeze said cheeks between your hands, cooing at the annoyed expression that consumes him soon afterwards.

“Aw, you want to marry me,” you tease, but it’s secretly a leading question for him to confess that yes, he does want to marry you. For as hot and confident as you are, you too are plagued with doubts. Doubts that can only be smoothed over by hearing it straight from Jungkook’s mouth.

He rolls his eyes, trying to break free from your hold. “We’ve talked about this,” he murmurs, all embarrassed. But like always, Jungkook knows exactly what you want so he doesn’t deny it, and that’s good enough for you. He’s too flustered to look you in the eye now, childishly craning his head away from you when you try to force him into a staring contest. “Can I finish my show?” he whines, slightly not as hard now that you’ve reduced him into a shy, bumbling mess. It was a nice change of pace from his usual, composed self.

But you relent, sliding off his lap to sit against his side, classic octopus hug around his waist. The episode is in full swing, not that you know anything about it. Like you said, romantic shows and movies were the least of your concerns. Jungkook, however, eats this type of shit up. “He still trying to fuck her?” you ask, not the least bit interested, but if you’re planning on sucking his dick tonight you have to listen to a few minutes of him rambling first.

Jungkook sighs. “Yeah,” he says, “I don’t get it.” You hum, trail your hand over his abdomen teasingly. He feels so warm and lean beneath your palm, you were getting hot just thinking about it. “Why would anyone agree to dating their boss?”

You know that Jungkook’s boss is some old Facebook fart, pioneer of something on the site that neither of you two care about. So it makes sense that such a notion disturbs him. You shrug anyway. “Everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss,” you offer. “It’s like, the power dynamic, I guess.”

His frown deepens. “Would you?” Your boss isn’t exactly an old fart; the reason Kim Seokjin was such a renowned playboy is because, well, he had the looks to pull it off. Still, he had become a sort of respectable figure to you and the idea of sleeping with him doesn’t really sound appealing as much as it would to any other random bachelorette, which you admittedly were not. You glance at the screen, where Park Seojoon swaggers around in those tight slacks and fitted button-ups.

“Hm,” you ponder, “maybe.”

Jungkook laughs. “You’re supposed to say no, you idiot,” he says, knocks his forehead against yours softly. You can’t help but chuckle too, enamored with the happy glint in his eyes and the way his smile eats up his features.

Oh, you loved this man.

Because he was so sweet and good on Christmas, you let Jungkook make the plans for Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s his favorite holiday (“Why? Well, because it’s a day all about you, and me, and us,” he had sighed dreamily in the bathtub one night, hair adorably pushed back to showcase that handsome face of his. Bubbles clung to his chest, had made you dizzy with every breath he took.), so it’s only right that he gets to make the itinerary for the day, fill it with all his favorite things. After all, cheesy romantic stuff like this was right up his lane.

He reserves a spot at the fanciest restaurant in the city, the one that has a months long waiting list. It sounds perfect, and the closer it gets to February 13th, the more excited you become. You say 13th because the 14th is a Sunday, and as much as you would love to get on your knees and praise Jungkook’s body until the wee hours of the next day, you have work. So Sunday is off the table. And it’s better this way, you tell yourself. Everywhere would have been packed that day anyway.

It seems like everywhere you go, the entire world is gearing up for the holiday; from the fast food drive-thru to your favorite lingerie shop, there’s Valentine’s Day specials everywhere you look. Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.

But what good is a lovey-dovey holiday without your own lovey dove himself?

One glance out your window and your knees feel weak, because there he is. Dressed in a loose satin button up, shoulders broad, chest defined. He’s got on these fitted dress pants that accentuate his tiny waist too, thick thighs bulging beneath the fabric. There’s a coat hugging his frame, something to shield him from the cold while he waits out on the curb, does this cute little shivering dance in an attempt to warm up his muscles. Your heart feels like it’ll explode at the sight, and you can practically hear the corny, overused romantic song playing in the background of your thoughts, so you hurriedly distract yourself by slipping tonight’s dress on.

It’s cold outside, but the sight of Jungkook makes you feel warm and fuzzy everywhere. He’s so hot it makes you dizzy, and the sap knows it when he meets you on the sidewalk. Instinctively, his hand reaches out to tangle with yours, the other slipping around your waist. “Hi, gorgeous,” he greets playfully, kissing your knuckles. His hair has grown out a little, curls up cutely when he lets it air dry and tickles your skin when he gets too close. “Lookin’ like Secretary Kim.”

“Oh? So does that make you my hot boss?” you tease as you make your way to the car.

As always, he opens the door for you first, flashes you this dorky little wink as he rounds the front of the car. “If it means you’ll sleep with me tonight, then sure,” he says, buckling himself in. You roll your eyes at his claim. You don’t get to see the proud little smile on his face; by the time you’ve composed yourself, he’s already pulling off in the direction of the restaurant.

It’s a classy thing, a restaurant and bar in some insanely tall skyscraper. Of course your seats are right beside one of the huge floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the beautiful, glittering cityscape. “Fancy,” you murmur as you sit down, catching a glimpse of the eye roll Jungkook gives you.

“You say that about any place that serves wine,” he chuckles, reaching for the bottle on the table to pour you a glass.

The wine tastes like perfection, aged for the perfect amount of time. Whatever that was. You don’t really know, but it tastes amazing! Still, amazement aside, you manage a scoff. “I didn’t say that about your house on our first date,” you huff anyway, throwing him a playful glare over the rim of your glass.

Jungkook laughs, full and real this time. It’s a little too loud for the classy establishment you find yourselves in, drowns out the jazz music for a second. “That’s because it was a house,” he says, wearing that big, shiny smile you adore, “and we were watching Transformers.” An amazing date, the mere memory of it makes your toes curl. He had been so dreamy— nearly two years ago now! —and had retained that aura up to the present day. You don’t think you’ve ever been so in love with anyone or anything in this world before, as cheesy as it was to admit.

As if sensing your sudden wandering thoughts, Jungkook nudges your ankle under the table. “Hey,” he says so softly you could melt; his voice was so silky and sweet. “Everything okay?” he asks.

A sigh, chin in your palm. You had to have been abducted by aliens or something— there was no way this was your life, this disgustingly romantic date with this disgustingly handsome man. An episode of Black Mirror maybe? One where you get forced to live in a romantic Viki drama with the man you love, every single day for the rest of your life? Maybe.

Dramatics aside, you could practically feel that sticky sweet, sentimental monster begging to crawl to the surface, unleash the entire Shakespearean collection of lovesick sonnets on your unsuspecting boyfriend in the middle of this restaurant. But the weird ones, were you accidentally dedicate an entire six lines to the bulge of Jungkook’s thighs in his workout pants or the heart-shaped mole on his shoulder. Those kind. Before that can happen, you settle on an equally as gentle, “I love you,” murmured for only him to hear.

Across the table, Jungkook smiles. One of those thin ones when he’s trying to keep his composure but is actually quite flustered, his subtle bunny teeth nibbling at his lower lip. “Thanks,” he responds, still trying to play it cool, but then he almost knocks his glass down and you’re reminded just how perfect he was, flaws and all. “Me too.”

You jab the pointed tip of your stiletto against his shin. “Say it back,” you warn and he laughs.

“I love you,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Straight out of a romantic drama, like the ones on Viki that require a minimum of four different story arcs just to get to this point. But with Jungkook, it takes a few shy smiles and maybe a kiss. It has a scorching heat rising on your cheeks, one you ward away with a hurried sip of your drink while Jungkook reaches for your hand, thumb rubbing over your promise ring as if for good luck.

That singular phrase makes your world pause, its axis stalling while you deal with the overwhelmingly soft and gooey feelings in your chest. Oh jeez, you had to rock his world tonight. It was only right. He deserved it for making you feel like this— this silly and ditzy, like a middle schooler with her crush.

Anyway the food gets to your table after a millennia. Jungkook orders some fancy lobster dish, one that you're pretty sure costs more than the purse you brought along tonight (to be fair, you’re a cheap buyer), and still has the audacity to poke around at your plate too. He eats enough to feed a schoolhouse full of children who’ve just come off recess, practically devouring the table cloth before you stop him. And then he doesn’t let you see the bill; “baby, don’t worry about that when you’re with me,” he purrs, warm breath fanning against the skin on your neck, drunk off pure love and strawberry lemonade because he was driving tonight. The hostess is a blushing mess, fumbling for his change as Jungkook practically gropes your ass in plain sight.

You swear he’s spending too much time on that Viki streaming service, because then, as if the romantic dinner date wasn’t enough, he whisks you off to an even more romantic walk along the river.

If there was ever a world record for “Number of Times you can Make your Girlfriend Swoon,” you’re positive Jungkook had broken it in the span of a few hours. You feel so light-headed and in love by the time you reach the river.

“You know,” you tell him as you walk, the serene sounds of the flowing water beside you the soundtrack to your date. Jungkook swings your joined hands between the two of you. It’s chilly but you’re so full and happy that you don’t let it bother you. “I was gonna throw wine at you when we first met.”

He cackles, that loud, airy sound again that he only lets you hear, with his head thrown back. “What?” he gasps, smiley and pretty, your pretty boy. “And why were you going to do that?”

You huff, feeling slightly embarrassed now to admit such a thing. But aside from Doyeon, no one else has ever heard this classified tale. And well, you’re feeling extra emotional tonight. An abundance of emotions in one night usually ended with you crying like a little bitch at some point or another, so you’re trying to push that off for later. “Because,” you sigh, squeezing his fingers, your lone promise ring versus his assortment of fashionable rings. “You sounded like an absolute fuck boy when you first texted me!”

Jungkook scoffs, playfully scandalized. “Me?” he squawks, pausing to stand in front of you with wide eyes and a ridiculously huge smile, the kind that has his brows raised high, lips going thin, practically displaying every tooth in his mouth from how wide it is.

“Jungkook,” you say calmly, shoving one finger against his chest. “You asked me to Netflix & chill for our first date.”

He groans, using your entwined hands to pull you into his arms for a suffocating hug. “I already told you,” he laughs, patting the back of your head while you get in a few lighthearted punches against his sides. “I didn’t know what it meant.”

“Whatever, you sleaze,” you say anyway, eventually melting into his hands. “Bet you tell all the girls that.” Jungkook makes another scandalized noise, but settles when you wrap your hands around him. He smells so good and familiar, comforting even. Like home and safety, a refuge for your heart. When you’re this close, you can hear the light beating of it beneath your ear, a steady rhythm that has you closing your eyes when he begins humming your favorite song.

He gets about two verses in when your phone suddenly goes off.

Everything in your body says to ignore it, to continue basking in the comfort of your boyfriend’s embrace and this absolutely perfect moment. But it’s the stupid ringtone you set for all your work peers when you first loaded the entire company contact list onto your phone, so the sound alone lets you know it’s a work-related call. And for work to be calling you on a weekend was definitely not a good sign.

“Give me a sec,” you tell Jungkook, pulling away from his arms. He frowns but lets you go, staying close as you dig through your purse for the offending device.

It’s Kim Seokjin calling at this peculiar hour, a fact that confuses the hell out of you. Jungkook’s bouncing on his heels in an attempt to fight off the chill, giving you his beautiful side profile as he glances down the winding sidewalk that follows the river, and then at his watch. His nose is a cute red color that you want to kiss so bad. But work calls, so you tighten up and let that dream go for now. You swipe your thumb across the screen.

“Hello, Mr. Kim,” you greet, trying to keep the confusion out of your voice. “How can I help—“

“__, my love,” he beams through the phone, so fucking loud it has Jungkook glancing over curiously. You give him a tight-lipped smile, one he returns as he shuffles closer, trying to steal your warmth like a penguin. You let him snuggle close before turning back to the droning voice of your superior on the line.

“Hello,” you repeat again, slowly. Jungkook takes your free hand in his; when he squeezes, the band of your promise ring digs into your skin just the slightest. “Was something the matter?”

Seokjin laughs, loud and clear. There’s a lot of other noises filtering in through his line. Briefly, you remember that there had been some work-related party for the higher ups tonight so you write it off as that. “Does there need to be a problem for me to call you, love?”

You falter. Beside you, Jungkook’s brows furrow together, his devilishly handsome features even more pronounced. He’s obviously heard the other man on the line. “Um,” you flounder for a second, “well, usually yes.”

Without missing a beat, Seokjin carries on with a playful tut that you’re almost certain has him lifting the receiver up to his mouth, because it’s so goddamn loud it has you flinching away from your own device. “My __,” he says, sweet and… slurred?

He’s never used this tone of voice on you, only on other women at the office. Something about his broken marriage and needing to heal a wound, you don’t fucking know. You can’t even begin to truly understand that logic, which is why you’ve always just ignored it. Still, in the last few months of knowing Seokjin, he has never made a pass at you. Until now, that is. And until now, you had kind of convinced yourself he saw you in a sisterly way. Which sure, was worse than being friendzoned. But this was your boss you were talking about. Whether you got sister-zoned or not by him was the least of your concerns. So what was going on? What had changed over the span of a few days that had him suddenly reaching out to you on a weekend?

Beside you, Jungkook doesn’t look the slightest bit impressed, tongue prodding against his cheek as Seokjin rambles on the line. You wish you had lowered the volume before answering, but doing so now would appear suspicious, even you could admit that. “You’re amazing, you know that?” Seokjin praises. You nod, remember he can’t see you, and settle on a blunt thanks instead. Jin laughs. “You’re different from the rest,” he hums, voice soft and weirdly intimate.

Jungkook’s frown deepens. “What does he want?” he murmurs, somehow managing to keep his voice calm as always. The deep furrow of his brows and the tongue-against-cheek motion he had done just a few seconds ago all indicate he’s annoyed, that much you can tell.

You shrug, eyes wide as you hurry to get to the reason for the phone call. You’re almost certain it’s just Seokjin being drunk— many people drunkenly dial their friends and family to tell them how much they’re appreciated, this wasn’t anything weird!

Is what you try to convince yourself, but then Seokjin’s voice is dropping an octave by your ear. “Did you get my gift?” he murmurs, voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of the event he’s at.

“Huh?” you stammer, quite stupidly if you do say so yourself. Jungkook shifts closer, obviously trying to hear. A breeze ruffles his hair, his cologne wafting over you. “What?”

A sigh over the line. “My gift, love,” Kim Seokjin says, loud and proud. Jungkook exhales, hard. “I had it sent to your house this evening. Something pretty for a pretty girl— don’t tell me the postman fucked that up,” he jokes and Jungkook huffs, practically breathing fire through his nose when he hears the words.

You fidget. There had been no gift when Jungkook picked you up around sunset, not like you had expected anything to begin with. And aside from Jungkook and maybe your parents, there was no one else on this planet you wanted to receive a Valentine’s Day gift from anyway, especially not from your boss of all people. “Um,” you mumble, acutely aware of the way Jungkook’s face is nearly pressed to yours now in his effort to listen in on your phone call. “I— um, haven’t been home, Seokjin.”

Jungkook scoffs, spits out a particularly unimpressed, “Seokjin?”

Said man doesn’t hear. “Oh, of course,” he says, almost sullenly. “I forgot you had that little boyfriend to entertain tonight.”

It’s the breaking point for Jungkook, who leans back to glare at the phone with the heat of a thousand suns. You press it against your chest before he can hear anything else. “I’m sorry,” you rush out in a hurried whisper, eyes flickering over his face, trying to gauge the intensity of his emotions. “I think he’s drunk— he’s never said things to me like this before,” you stammer, feeling like you have to defend yourself for some reason. “I’ll- I’ll take care of it, okay?” No answer, just an aggravated shake of his head, like he’s trying to calm himself down. “Jungkook?” you say, can feel the panic begin to lace your voice when his eyes flutter shut.

He calms your worries with a gentle head butt that has you gasping in surprise, one hard exhale fanning over you. “Okay,” he says, teeth clenched. “I’m gonna go sit.” And then he stiffly walks over to one of the many benches lining the pathway. He sits, just like he had said he would, and glares down at his hands instead.

The sight makes you anxious, unsure of how to diffuse the situation because, like you’ve said many times before, dealing with emotions— especially someone else’s emotions —was hard. Your eyes refuse to leave his figure as you draw the phone back up to your ear again. “Hello?” you call, voice trembling when Jungkook finally looks your way. The soft look he had given you all night is nowhere to be found, replaced with this rather unreadable expression. Something between annoyance and confusion if you had to guess. You don’t know, and the fact you don’t know makes you panic. Your chest feels tight when Seokjin begins speaking again.

“You know,” he says, “you’re quite something, __. Strong, confident. Beautiful.” Had you been anyone else, you might have been flattered by Kim Seokjin’s remarks, maybe would have swooned. He was, objectively speaking, a handsome man with a hefty bank account.

But if that was the criteria for a man to make you swoon, then the man on the bench in front of you checked all the same boxes three times over. The man who’s brows draw closer and closer together the longer you linger on the phone. Jungkook’s foot does one agonizing tap against the concrete and you find yourself stammering into the phone. “I think you’re drunk, Jin.”

A scoff. “I am,” he agrees, and doesn't even bother to hide it. “But you remind me of her, you know that? I like that.”

It’s like he knows something is going on on the line, because Jungkook visibly bristles when you sidestep in surprise. What was going on, your brain screams. Having your superior compare you to his infidel wife was definitely not something you saw coming tonight. “Uh, okay?” you say, “listen, Seokjin— Mr. Kim, I’m... I have a boyfriend. And I really lov—“

He cuts you off. Jungkook bristles at the sudden stop of your sentence. “Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin drawls, and you can feel the sheer terror of accidentally jeopardizing your relationship with Jungkook step aside for the briefest moment to allow some annoyance to seep through. Annoyed with Seokjin and his audacity, his tone, his voice. “Mrs. Kim used to say that about me,” he chuckles humorlessly, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” A long pause. You’re unsure of how to respond. “It’s not real,” Seokjin says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “Love, that is.”

You clench your jaw, gathering your thoughts to respond when Seokjin beats you to it. “But you know what, love?” You don’t respond. Seokjin pushes on anyway. “Someone’s gonna cheat sooner or later— why not beat him to it?”

Your body reacts first, a startled gasp inhaled through your lips at his disrespectful preposition. Your phone slips out of your grasp. It bounces twice, lands on the ledge that gives way to the river, and you almost kick it in when Jungkook comes up behind you. “Hey, hey,” he says sternly, tugging you away from the phone you almost killed. “What’s wrong— what did he say?”

You exhale, face warm from the discomfort sitting heavy in your chest. “Nothing,” you huff, mind slightly foggy as you try to process that awkward conversation. “It’s— it was stupid,” you spit, pressing the heels of your palms against your temples, the raging anger and confusion making your head pound now.

You had always known Kim Seokjin wasn’t the most faithful man, that the infidelity ran both ways in his relationship. But you had never imagined he would ever compare you to her, his cheating wife, in an attempt to win you over. Furthermore, you’re downright disturbed by the fact he would even try to hit on you after all the mentoring he’d given you, all the polite smiles he’d flashed you, all the praise you had bestowed upon him to Jungkook.

Jungkook, whose jaw twitches as his hands graze your forearms. When you look at him again, you feel an immense wave of remorse wash over you at the way his own irritation is clouded by his worry for you. He had been wronged as well— disrespected just like you —but here he was, pushing his own emotions aside for your sake. He doesn’t want to see you upset. He was so good at dealing with your emotions, knew just what to do when things became too much.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, lips pursed together. “I don’t know why— he’s never— I wouldn’t do that,” you settle on, voice wobbling when Jungkook’s jaw clenches. “Jungkook,” you frown, reaching for his hands, “I wouldn’t—“

He shushes you with another one of those gentle forehead bumps. “Calm down,” he says, voice deeper than usual. “I know you wouldn’t.”

Weirdly, it feels like you’ve committed a grave sin against your boyfriend. A crime. “I’m sorry,” you blubber anyway, heart thundering in your chest. “That was horrible,” you huff, desperately blinking away the stinging sensation behind your eyes. “You didn’t deserve to hear that.”

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook says, so soft and comforting; stable. You want his composure, his ability to process and understand things so quickly— his maturity. Sure he had been put off by Seokjin, but he had processed it all so quickly; adapted to the situation and stepped in to save you. Meanwhile, you nearly committed cellular murder because you couldn’t handle yourself. “He’s a weirdo,” he says, for both your sakes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.”

Still, you sniffle. “I’m sorry,” you say again, the heavy feeling in your chest lightening just a little bit when he pulls you into his arms.

“Crybaby,” he teases softly, a kiss on the crown of your head. You pinch his side. “Second phone you broke in a year.”

The mood for the riverwalk is off after that, and you only walk a few more meters before Jungkook decides it’s enough. “We can still enjoy ourselves at home,” he reassures you, and the way he tries to salvage that soft, fuzzy feeling from before is admirable. So Jungkook takes you home, holds your hand the whole drive back to your place, like he knows you’re still fragile from that extremely uncomfortable interaction, need him to hold you together. Jungkook’s emotional stability guards you like a shield, covers you in a wave of comfort as you calm down. You tell him about Seokjin’s preposition and he bristles. “Prick,” he murmurs beneath his breath, grip tightening just the tiniest bit. Your ring pinches against your skin a little painfully, but you say nothing.

There’s a box of flowers on your doorstep when you arrive, one that makes Jungkook pause at the sight. “Wonderful,” he drones, picking it up for you as you unlock the front door. It gets left on the coffee table, practically mocking the two of you as you remove your shoes and coats. “That’s your favorite flower,” Jungkook notes.

You glance at the expensive bouquet. “It is.”

Jungkook drops down onto your couch, eyes flickering to the meticulous arrangement in front of him. “You told him?” Not really. But back when you had thought Jungkook and you were engaged (read: last week), you had spent days looking at different floral shops that specialized in this flower, frequently leaving the tab open on your work computer. Seokjin must have seen it then. At your extended silence, Jungkook says, “nice.”

You frown, setting your heels on the shoe rack. “Baby, I didn’t,” you tell him softly, reaching for the zip on the back of your dress. It comes down, and after clearing your hips, it falls to the floor in a dark heap you pick up quickly. It leaves you scantily clad in a black lingerie set. Meanwhile, Jungkook drops his head back, glaring at your ceiling. Tentatively, you step over to him, toying with the fabric of your dress in your hands. “You said it was okay.”

“I know,” he sighs, an unexpected confession from him that makes you pause. Despite all you’ve been through, he still rarely highlighted situations that upset him. “It’s just,” he says, turning his head to look at your form again, eyes not drinking you in like you hoped he would. “It’s scary.”

The couch cushion dips beneath your weight when you settle beside him. “What is?”

Jungkook shrugs, avoiding your question by reaching for the TV remote on the coffee table, right beside the box of flowers Seokjin had sent. He opens up the Viki app in a flash— the one linked to his account —and has even loaded up the next episode of Secretary Kim when you question him again. “What’s scary, Jungkook?” you repeat.

On screen, there’s a beautiful scene on a bridge, the two leads happily conversing. It’s serene, something neither you nor Jungkook feel at the moment.

Eventually, he says, “you could leave.”

You pause. “What do you mean?” Leave? Where on earth would you leave to when this was your home? He doesn’t meet your gaze.

Another scene passes by on screen, some cheesy line and an even cheesier promise. Jungkook’s foot taps against the floor, the sound dull against the plush rug beneath you. It’s a nervous tick you’ve only seen him do at the height of truly stressful situations. Weird because just half an hour before you had dubbed him as the epitome of calm and collected at the river.

“I thought he was cool before.”

He did. But the word ‘cool’ didn’t always have the same meaning for Jungkook as it did for you.

In the past, Jungkook had frequently joked about having to meet Kim Seokjin and thank him for all the help he’s given you at work. After all, up until now, you had only ever had good things to say about the man, raving about his cool demeanor and respectable work ethics. Now, the memories paired with the conversation from earlier leave a bad taste in your mouth.

You’re a little confused with Jungkook right now; part of you had convinced yourself that whatever happened on the phone earlier with Seokjin was put behind you, marked off as an anomaly in the evening. After all, Jungkook himself had said it was okay. Park Seojoon appears on screen, and you can’t help but glare at the character, residue emotions from the river pushed off onto this innocent actor.

Still, Jungkook surprises you. “It’s just that—“ he sighs. And then, “what if you leave?”

You blink, eyes trained on his side profile and the way he’s nervously chewing through his bottom lip until it tints a red shade, gives way to sensitive skin when he bites too hard. “Why would I leave?”

He says nothing. On screen, Park Seojoon says something so cheesy and romantic that it would have otherwise made you cringe, made Jungkook soft. But he’s stiff as a board beside you instead. You almost think he’s going to disregard the entire conversation when he finally speaks again. “Well.” You perk up at the sound of his voice, overly aware of the way he’s started picking at the skin around his thumb again, another nasty habit you’ve been trying to help him get over. “He’s cool. Rich.”

“And so are you,” you offer, covering his hand with your own.

Jungkook ignores you, releasing a long, shaky exhale. Somehow, he’s exuding a similar energy as before; discontentment mixed with understanding. Like he’s greatly conflicted but forcing himself to remain calm. Another trembling inhale, and then Jungkook quietly recites, “everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss.”

You recoil just the slightest, brows pinched together at the absurd conclusion he’s drawn. “Baby, that was just a silly conversation,” you say slowly, slipping your hand into his. He squeezes so tight you’re afraid he’ll break your bones. “And we were joking—“

“I know!” he exclaims, enveloping your significantly smaller hand in both of his before bringing them up to his face, lips pressed against your knuckles. It’s not a kiss, more so a desperate need to feel you against him. Eyes wide, you can’t do anything but watch as that collected exterior slips away, revealing a whirlwind mess of emotions. It’s a rather unexpected show from Jungkook. “It was a joke. We were joking. But I’m—“ his jaw clenches. His voice is so tiny when he speaks again. “I get scared sometimes, __.”

His emotional outburst renders you speechless, watching as he squeezes his eyes shut, jaw clenching, hands trembling.

It’s a stark image change from the cool Jungkook that had comforted you at the river, had patted the back of your head when you had been so distraught. His chest heaves for air and you don’t know what to do; it’s always the other way around, him comforting you, that when it comes down to this you find yourself at a loss. It makes you feel like you don’t know enough about yourself or him or your relationship in general to help him, always so lost when things like this happen.

Jungkook has never been good at expressing negative emotions, always preferring to bottle them up and only show you his very best side. Granted, he’s been getting better at letting go lately, has whispered his doubts to you in the dead of night after a particularly grueling project, an uncomfortable social meeting. But he always waits until you’re half asleep and in the dark to tell you how he feels, hushed worries that you barely remember the next morning. And by then, Jungkook’s moved on from them anyway, flashes you a pretty smile and purposefully guides you away from that conversation. You know he’s started keeping a journal recently, but aside from seeing the blanks pages when he’d first gotten, you don’t have a clue what happened afterwards. It’s probably hidden away somewhere, his feelings locked up in a cupboard or a box, the secrets it holds never to be spoken of aloud.

He doesn’t like talking about his more personal problems, hoards them until you’re forced to intervene. Find him slumped over at his dining table with bags under his eyes, the skin on his lower lip bitten beyond belief.

Rarely does he sit down and express himself like this, lays his heart out carefully for you to see. Had he not said so right now, you would have never known Jungkook struggled with such doubts about you and your relationship.

(It makes your heart ache at the realization.)

Jungkook always acts like everything is okay, always forces himself to hold it together for the sake of you and, quite frankly, everyone else. He’s there when Taehyung breaks up with his girlfriends, pats him on the back and lets him run through every video game he has on his PS5. He’s there for Namjoon when his thesis becomes too much, proofreads it even though he doesn’t understand a word just for the sake of giving his best friend another perspective. Hell, he had even been there for Doyeon when her new landlord had tried to overcharge her, had carried the bulk of your argument when you ran off to try and fight with the old man.

(“He’s too nice sometimes,” she had murmured the next morning at her place. After the shouting match the night before, you had crashed with Doyeon on her new bed, your sweet boyfriend taking up her couch. Somehow, you and Jungkook had managed to knock a clean seventy-five bucks off her monthly bill. It wasn’t much, but for an apartment in the city it sure felt like a lot.

You had hummed, patting the top of his head on the way to the kitchen. “He’s a good boy,” you had said, heart thrumming when he instinctively pushed closer to your hand, nuzzling into you even in his sleep. “He cares about everyone a lot. Worries to death about his friends.”

The state of their relationship was weird; they were always fighting about one thing or another, ‘eternal enemies’ as Doyeon liked to claim.

But for the first time, she hadn’t denied they were, in fact, friends. Instead, she had quietly stood at the breakfast nook overlooking the living room with a somber look on her face that was completely unlike the Doyeon you knew. She didn’t respond with her usual backhanded compliments, didn’t even call him a gremlin either.

“He even worries about you, Miss Wicked Witch of the West,” you had teased, reaching over to pull Jungkook’s shirt down where it had ridden up, exposing his cute belly button to the cold apartment. She had sipped at her mug of coffee, eyes foggy and distant. “It just takes him a while.”

“He’s always cared about you though,” she had murmured then, and you had marked it off as her being half asleep. But Doyeon had given you this look, a look so profoundly wise, as if she was saying, “more than you’ll ever know.”)

Most importantly, Jungkook is always there for you. He holds you in his arms, strokes your back comfortingly whenever something goes wrong. Listens to your concerns and offers you advice, learns new things for the sole purpose of helping you out. Lets you make stupid decisions and always saves you at the last minute. And you want to repay him for all that, want to look after Jungkook like he does for everyone else. But it’s hard, it’s so fucking hard, when he doesn’t let you in, when he holds his emotions at bay for the sake of protecting yours. When you don’t even know where to start sometimes.

The beating of your heart is accompanied by a dramatic orchestral ensemble on screen, violins and flutes as the two lovers reconcile some issue with a kiss. Beside you, your own lover is one second away from falling apart. “Hey,” you say quietly, slipping your hand out of his to hesitantly place on his back instead. With your release, Jungkook uses his empty hands to drag over his face, hide himself from you. “I’m not going to leave you, Jungkook,” you try and comfort, “I love you.”

He shakes his head, dark locks bouncing around. “I know, I know,” he sighs, but it doesn’t sound like he believes you. It sounds like he’s forcing himself into composure again, jaw flexing as he shakes his head. “But— what if—” another aggravated huff, his thighs jumping anxiously. “You’ll get bored.” Not a question, but a statement.

“Of you?” you ask anyway. He nods. “I won’t.”

He sits up so suddenly you have to move away to avoid bumping into him. “You will,” he urges, finally looking at you, distress painted over every inch of his face. “That guy, that Seokjin, he sounds more interesting than me. He sounds cool and put together, like the world is his oyster and,” he rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes. “You talk about him sometimes and... and you call him a god, __,” he stresses, doesn’t leave room for you to object. “And I know you’re joking, but—“ a sharp inhale, and then, quietly, “everyone gets bored of me, __.”

Your frown deepens. “But I won’t,” you argue, confident in your claim, shifting onto your knees beside him. Your dress is thrown over the armrest of the couch, and the draft in your apartment makes goosebumps rise on your bare flesh. “You’re not boring, Jungkook,” you tell him, voice softening when his features pinch up, nose wrinkling as he wards off the stinging behind his eyes.

It’s teenage trauma. Jungkook had told you at least that much before, this crippling sense of loneliness and an inferiority complex that hindered him during an influential growth period of his life. It’s why he’s so quiet when he has so much to say, why he brings you along to every party he gets invited to; he’s never felt like he was enough by himself.

Sometimes, it leaks into his confessions. “I don’t deserve you,” he says frequently, but some days you want to hot glue him to a chair and force him to listen to every reason why he does and always will deserve you or anyone for that matter. “You make me better,” he claims, but he does that all on his own, lights up the world with his smile alone.

He’s gotten better, that much you’ve learned from Namjoon and Taehyung. And even you’ve noticed it on your own, watched as he animatedly talked with his friends and his coworkers, drew people naturally to him with his warm aura.

Even still, there’s moments where he relapses. Moments like this.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs beside you, “I know I’m a handful—“

“You’re not,” you interrupt, cupping his soft cheek in your hand, turning him to face you. Jungkook leans into the touch, and your heart breaks in half when a tear escapes over his waterline, pretty eyes brimming with tears. “You’re not a handful, Jungkook,” you tell him, shuffling closer until you can press your forehead against his. The truth is, you don’t know how to comfort him, but this is how he’s always comforted you; it feels nice when he does it for you. “You’re just enough,” you say, voice soft because it feels like your precious boy is about to fall apart in your arms, his shallow breaths rivaling the volume of the television. “You’ve always been enough.”

He sniffles, and another tear tickles the side of your thumb, catching the light. “I’m sorry,” he repeats anyway, a disbelieving chuckle tacked on at the end.

“Don’t be,” you shush, pushing away a strand of hair when he leans closer. His frown is still prominent, pink lips red and soft under your thumb when you tap your finger against them. “You can tell me when things worry you, you know,” you inform him, heart swelling when his eyes fall shut and he leans into your touch. He’s so handsome, the cute little mole beneath his lip begging to be kissed. “I’ll always listen.”

Jungkook hums, breathing evening out. “I know you will,” he says. “But I like listening to your voice more, and I can’t do that when I’m talking.”

You snort and Jungkook finally lets a tiny smile slip. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after your meltdown,” you mumble, kissing his cheek softly.

Jungkook chuckles, real this time, and sniffles right afterwards. “I’ll flirt with you whenever I want.” And, because he’s just so full of surprises tonight, he sniffles once more before he’s unceremoniously tackling you back onto the couch. You squeal, the TV remote digging into your back painfully. It has the volume accidentally skyrocketing, startling the both of you with an ear-shattering orchestral piece at the height of some emotional scene. Jungkook scrambles to free the device and lower the volume before your eardrums burst. “I didn’t even know your TV could go that loud,” he says, and he’s speaking normally but the deafening violins are still reverberating in your head, making him sound quieter than he really is.

“Come here,” you say instead, and he obeys, crawling into your arms, mouth hovering just over yours. “You feeling better?”

Jungkook nods, dark hair bouncing. “You make me better,” he tries, but after tonight’s realization, you respond to his corny words with a pinch against his doughy cheek instead.

“Don’t say that,” you frown, toying with one of the earrings decorating his ear. The tip of his nose is flushed red, the exertion from crying catching up to him. His lashes are dark, probably feel so heavy with the residual tears that cling to them.

Jungkook repositions himself, guides your legs around his waist. “Why not? It’s true.” He glances at your mouth. “You make my life better.”

“Wrong,” you say bluntly, brushing his hair back with your hands. “Your own perception and understanding of your experiences makes your life better. I just happen to be in it.” Jungkook looks the tiniest bit surprised at your suddenly logical argument. “Trust me, I saw it in a documentary the other day.”

At that he laughs, full and loud, pecking your lips once with a sweet smile on his face. “Now I know you’re lying,” he grins, gently nudging his nose against yours. The drama on the TV is but a quiet hum compared to the pounding of your heart in your chest when he looks at you like that. “Because you don’t even like documentaries.”

You kiss him softly, holding his hair back for him. He tastes a little bit like the chocolate cake he had at the restaurant and the lemonade he drank (he didn’t indulge in the sweet wine with you because he needed to drive). His lips mold perfectly against yours, and he sighs softly when he finally draws back. “But I like you,” you purr.

Jungkook’s eyes darken, one heavy exhale fanning across the lower half of your face. You readjust the leg around his waist, pull him closer just the slightest bit. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after my meltdown,” he repeats, lips brushing against yours. You chuckle. “You don’t know what that means to me.” You can roughly guess, but that opportunity is taken away when Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, soft lips molding to yours. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, wastes no time slipping in when you open for him, hot and wet.

Jungkook’s fingers are just as warm when he trails them up the back of your thigh, pulls you impossibly closer until the buckle on his belt is pressed flush against your mound. A tiny whimper escapes your lips, chest jumping just the slightest from the pressure. It makes Jungkook pull away with an easygoing grin, chocolate eyes half-lidded. “You okay?” he murmurs, breath a little shaky from the kiss. You nod, tangling your fingers behind his head and pulling him in close again.

He evades your puckered lips, ducking down to press his own against your throat, right beneath your jaw. “Ugh,” you groan, digging your nails into his back through his satin shirt. “I wanted a kiss.”

Jungkook nips at your skin, this tiny gesture that couldn’t hurt even if he tried. “You always want a kiss,” he retorts softly, the quiet smack of his lips filling your ears as he bestows a series of smooches against your skin. And it’s so devastatingly tender how he handles you, like you’re made of glass and will break at a moment’s notice, like he wants to treasure your body for the rest of his—

Jungkook chomps down, hard, and you hiss. “Sit still,” he orders, soothing over the bite with one broad lick of his tongue.

You whimper. “That hurt.”

“And it’ll hurt even more if you keep moving,” he warns you, and before you can ask what that even means, he’s leaving another stinging bite just further down. It’s at the midway point of your neck, right in front, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat when he sucks a painful mark over it. “There,” he says, mostly to himself. “All mine.”

Your legs tighten around him, and you fight down the wave of heat that threatens to consume you when he places one final kiss over the second mark— the hickey.

Jungkook doesn’t usually leave them. In fact, you can rarely recall a time where he had purposefully gone out of his way to mark you up like this. It was always accidental, always unplanned, because he knew how troublesome it was for you to cover them up for work the next morning. Work, where your coworkers and your bosses and Seokjin could see.

Brows pinched together, your brain begins to draw a connection, one that Jungkook is soon confirming himself. “Everyone will see that now,” he hums, kissing a trail down your neck.

Of course.

You pat the back of his head in amusement, hiding a smile against his soft locks. Before you can say anything more, maybe tease him for being so cute, there’s a hand on your hip that snaps you out of your scheming. Jungkook lifts his head, does that endearing little head shake that pushes his hair out of his eyes, before leaning in for another languid kiss.

It’s even slower than the first, mostly because he’s a little too preoccupied with running his hands over your body now. It starts at your shoulder, teasingly snaps the strap of your bra as you push your tongue down his throat. Jungkook whimpers, that pretty sound that makes you desperate to hear more. It’s the same sound that he always makes when he wants to be pampered, wants you to kiss his entire body while he lays there and takes it.

And you’re all too ready to act on it.

Duty calls and you’re there to answer, tilting his head for him with your hands against his cheeks. He sighs against you, breath trembling as it tickles across your skin. That soft and tender way that makes you melt because he’s just so precious, so dreamy.

But you’re too caught up in your plotting to remember the hand he’s got on your hip, the one that teases the waistband of your panties with one lone finger. It’s only when Jungkook pulls away from your inviting mouth, his other hand holding you down by your shoulder, that you’re snapped back into reality. His lips are swollen and red, slick from your tongue, and so tantalizingly kissable. He huffs out a breath, eyes flickering over your face. “Can I touch you,” he husks, and gives into the temptation to press a kiss against your jaw.

“Yes, please,” you shiver, hypnotized by his hungry stare.

Jungkook wastes no time, pressing another kiss against the bruising mark over your throat that dissolves into a series of lighter smooches he trails down between your breasts. His hands come up to cup your boobs over your bra, giving them one harsh squeeze that has you releasing a long exhale as he moves between the valley and down your tummy, over your belly button. “Open,” he says at your pubic bone, carefully guiding your legs apart until you’re spread wide for him.

The dark panties you’re wearing tonight— the super expensive ones you had spent an hour measuring your body for the exact sizing —receive one light kiss over the front. “Always so pretty for me,” Jungkook murmurs, tracing one lone finger down the middle. Your stomach contracts when he nudges it against you, the soft material of your panties just barely pushed between your folds.

As his hand occupies itself with some relatively light foreplay, Jungkook tasks himself with leaving another tingling mark against your skin. This time, it’s on the inside of your thigh. He starts it off slowly, a few littered kisses against the skin until he deems one spot worthy enough and abruptly sinks his teeth into you. “Not so hard,” you whimper, reaching down to bury your hands in his hair.

Jungkook lets it go, sloppily licking over the area. “You like it hard,” he husks, meeting your gaze as he licks one, long stripe over the tender skin. “Don’t you?” You nod demurely, pressing your knuckles against your lips to hold back a tiny moan from slipping past your lips.

With that new mark blooming over your skin, Jungkook transfers his attention to your pussy, hidden beneath the soft material of your panties. One finger hooks under the hem, tucking them aside until he can see you in your entirety. “Fuck,” he groans, pressing one light kiss over your clit that makes you inhale sharply, fingers digging into his scalp. Jungkook throws one final glance your way before letting his tongue slip past his lips, the very tip flicking against your clit.

Your breathing becomes shallow, anticipation building in the pits of your stomach as he slowly but surely begins playing with you. His tongue is so warm and wet, nudges your throbbing clit, nose pressed against your mound. “Mmm,” he moans, eyes fluttering shut as his mouth works wonders.

“Ah,” you gasp, whiny and high-pitched, when he dips one finger past your wet folds. The entry is seamless, his pointer finger sinking into the velvet walls of your cunt as his tongue swirls against your hardened bud. “Jungkook,” you mewl, knocking your heel against his shoulder. Jungkook huffs, suctions his lips around your clit. The cold metal of the rings he always wears— the duo set from that Chrome Hearts brand he likes so much —presses against the trembling lips of your pussy, makes your back arch when he twists his finger inside of you.

He’s so precise with his tongue, knows just how long and how hard to lick against your pulsing clit until you’re trembling, thighs quivering. Briefly, he pulls away, flicks his hair to the side in one suave motion that lets you see his dark eyes when he glances back up at you again, covered in a thick sheen of lust that makes them appear almost black as opposed to his usual warm brown. His hands reach for the waistband of your panties, tug them off with one fluid pull.

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs, the end of his words laced with a slight rasp that makes your hips jump. “All for me,” he says, roughly pushing his finger into you again. The harshness makes your entire body tighten up in surprise, eyes fluttering shut when he slips his middle finger alongside his pointer this time around.

“Baby, wait,” you whimper, walls fluttering around the two digits. Jungkook leans back in, presses a chaste kiss against your clit that makes your breathing stall as he thrusts his fingers into you.

He ignores your cries, locks his lips at the juncture where your thigh meets your body, sensitive skin that bruises all too easily when he sucks against it too hard. “Only for me,” he sighs, all pretenses discarded as he begins rapidly and roughly fucking his fingers into you. It’s intense, has your thighs quaking as he speeds them up.

The coil in your stomach tightens, and you have to bite down on your knuckles to stop the litany of whimpers from slipping past your lips when Jungkook ducks down again. He bypasses your quivering clit, warm tongue licking at the warm, wet folds around his fingers instead. The proximity makes the tip of his round nose brush along the length of your cunt, a sight and sensation that makes you moan, his bangs harshly tugged away from his forehead to give you the perfect view.

It’s with a particularly hard shove and twist combination of his fingers into your clenching walls that you cum, a gasp caught in your throat as your hips push toward him, chasing the feeling Jungkook bestows upon you. Your breathing is a mess, inhales too short, your exhales inconsistent, as Jungkook slows the speed of his fingers inside of you, lets your cum ooze out around them, coat his fingers and his rings.

“No,” you cry, watching that look come over his face when he withdraws his hand, the look that usually follows him sucking your cum into his mouth. “Jungkook, you don’t have to do that—” you whine, reaching for his wrist and yanking it towards you.

Jungkook follows, crawls back up beside you as he chases his own sticky fingers. “It’s mine,” he urges, has this weird look in his eyes you don’t think you’ve ever seen before. And just as quickly as it crosses his features, he’s lurching forward to catch his own fingers in his mouth. It’s lewd, the way his tongue wraps around them, leaves them sleek under the TV glow, tattoos and rings glistening. He has the audacity to moan, eyes fluttering shut as his devious tongue slips down between his fingers, so long and precise. There’s a tiny noise that tears itself from your throat, one that has him flickering his clouded gaze up to you as his fingers are released from between his own lips. “You like that,” he murmurs, wet fingers trailing down your cheek, capturing your chin to turn your face his way completely.

His tongue is sinful as it slips past your lips again, the tangy taste of yourself clinging to him. His breathing feels hot, suffocating. But his kisses are so good, make your mind go blank. So blank, that the fingers that rub at your clit surprise you completely. “Kook,” you gasp, breaking away from him in surprise.

Jungkook doesn’t let you get far, capturing your mouth with his again. The two fingers you had felt on your chin are gone, firmly pressed against your swollen clit, experimentally rubbing against it. Never mind the fact you were still sensitive from your first orgasm, thighs quivering when he drags them against the wet, soft skin. It makes you shudder, breaking away from him a second time for a desperately needed inhale of fresh air. Jungkook follows behind closely, pressing kisses over your jawline, your chin, as his fingers continue moving against your clit.

He has them pressed together, rubbing at the front of your slit where that bundle of nerves is hidden. It makes your stomach contract, hips jerking forward into the touch in an effort to match him, to speed up the process. “You were made for me, pretty girl,” Jungkook huffs against your cheek, nose pressed against your skin because he’s just so close, practically molded into your side as his fingers send rhythmic shocks of ecstasy up your spine.

Your mouth drops open, stuttered gasps filtering through your lips as Jungkook takes advantage of your sensitive body to draw out another orgasm. But there’s a weird sensation that builds in your stomach this time, one that brings with it a sense of panic. “Wait—“ you gasp, fisting the silky material of his shirt beneath one clenched fist. “Jungkook,” you warn, toes curling.

He responds with a harsh nip against your lower lip that makes you whimper. “Go ahead,” he purrs, rubbing his fingers over you at an insane speed, one that has your juices sloppily spread over your pussy, makes you buck into him and moan against his mouth.

The feeling grows, an intense, unfamiliar thing that you rarely recall ever feeling before, gasping for air as Jungkook’s fingers caress your clit, pressing down hard. “Fffuck, fuck,” you sob, mouth opening in a silent scream, eyes rolling backwards as you feel your pussy lips contract harder than ever before, thighs quivering as your juices squirt out of you, lower body reduced to jello as Jungkook quickens his movements, wrists jerking back and forth as your pleasure sprays out of you. “Ju— Jungkook,” you wail, forcefully slamming your thighs shut when he doesn’t stop, the pleasure seemingly never-ending under such a torturous touch. “Stop—stop,” you beg, eyes filling with tears that spill over when his trapped hand manages one final rough rub against your clit accompanied by a final gush of wetness.

Only then does he stop, leaning back on his knees to drink you in with dark eyes that make you quiver. There’s no trace of his usual post-orgasm cockiness, the smile he’ll flash you, the teasing jabs. Nothing, just a frankly terrifying gaze that has you self-consciously pressing your hands over your chest.

Jungkook doesn’t take kindly to it, roughly snatching one of your wrists up until you’re sitting up, the traces of your own orgasm present in the damp couch cushions beneath you, inner thighs coated in a thin sheen of your own pleasure. Jungkook leans in close, nose bumping against yours. “You came like that for me,” he says quietly, chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. You nod, eyes wide and teary when he reaches for the front of his shirt, giving it the same treatment he usually gives yours; two hands at the front, yanking it apart until the buttons are torn from their stitches and bouncing across your floor.

He throws it off to the side, his tan skin highlighted by the cool tones of the television, the dark sleeve of his tattoo especially prominent. The black ink almost looks blue under this light. You’re so distracted by the perfect swirls and doodles on Jungkook’s skin that you don’t realize that same hand is reaching for you until it’s too late, long fingers wrapping around your throat to jerk you forward, head tipping back to look up at him. “Say it, sweet girl,” he murmurs, eyes half-lidded. “Tell me you’re mine.”

The fingers around your throat squeeze once and then slowly begin tightening. You gasp, meeting his hooded gaze with yours, lips quivering for a response that’s stuck in your throat, trapped by your own surprise and tightening airways. Frantically, you reach for his wrists with both hands, not to pull Jungkook’s hand away, but to ground yourself from the hazy cloud of lust the moment evokes.

Still, your body isn’t as strong as you thought, and once Jungkook reaches a certain tightness around your throat you find yourself coughing. Instantly, he loosens his grip. But not too much. “I- I’m yours,” you rasp out, gasping for air.

For now, it satisfies Jungkook enough for him to release you. And while you’re grateful for the rush of fresh air that fills your lungs, the phantom ghost of his grip around your throat sends a new gush of wetness between your thighs. One that grows tenfold when Jungkook reaches for his belt, undoes it easily. It comes off with one fluid motion, carelessly shucked off to the side as his attention moves to the front of his pants instead.

He doesn’t let you sit around uselessly. “On your knees,” he says, so quietly you almost don’t hear it. “Sit on your knees facing the table.”

You blink slowly, the dry tears on your cheeks leaving stiff trails against your makeup. It takes a moment for your brain to process his request, one long second that has Jungkook pausing in his movements, leveling you with one solemn glare that eventually has you springing into action. You hastily slip off the couch, shuffling toward the coffee table between it and the television. The rug is soft beneath your knees, a luxury you can’t enjoy to the fullest because there’s a ball of excitement and fear stuck in your throat. (Right beneath your bruised skin and recuperating windpipes.) Sitting back on your calves, it feels like every nerve is standing stiff as you await his instructions.

“Bra off,” Jungkook says from behind you, and you’re startled by the sudden ripping of stitches behind you, almost turning to look at him. He stops you with one hand around the back of your neck, drawing a surprised gasp from you. “Sit still,” he commands, your back stiff straight, eyes focused on the screen. After a beat, Jungkook lets you go, pats the back of your head gingerly. “Good girl.”

A whimper catches in your throat at the praise, and you barely manage to bite down on it in time, hurriedly reaching behind you. Your hands fidget over the clasps on your bra, and you nearly jump out of your skin when one lone finger traces down your spine, undoing your bra for you. You don’t know why, but you say, “thank you.”

The television changes scenes in front of you, the bright colors a stark contrast to the darkness of Jungkook’s eyes. Your hands tremble in front of you, fingers anxiously tangling with each other. A few inches beside you, there’s a dark red box filled with the flowers from—

Suddenly, your vision goes dark, hands instinctively reaching up to your eyes. The pads of your fingers come in contact with a soft material, smooth and silky. Just like— “Is this… ?” you murmur, hands sliding across the makeshift blindfold Jungkook’s made for you, the same texture as his shirt had been.

He doesn’t grace you with an answer, just a hand against your hip as he, presumably, settles behind you. “Does it matter?” Jungkook says instead, voice all too close to your ear. Your entire body locks up, hands quickly returning to their spot against the coffee table.

Just as you’d suspected, Jungkook is all too close now, hands crawling over your body. They start at your waist, massage the skin tenderly, lovingly, before gliding up to cup your breasts. You shiver, a quiet exhale escaping you as Jungkook rubs his palms over your boobs, trapping your stiff nipples between his fingers. A sound threatens to escape you, and you trap it behind a bitten lip, fists clenched against the table before you. “You know,” Jungkook says conversationally, like he’s not pinching your nipples enough to make you squirm. “Who else do you think can make you come like this?”

You brain lags. “W- What?” you stutter, thighs pressing together to ward away the arousal. Not like they’re already sticky from before, from when Jungkook had made you squirt.

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat, pressing a kiss against your shoulder that he trails up to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe. “Who else,” he says slowly, “can make you come like this?”

It’s not a trick question— no one could. You tell Jungkook as much. “I— no one,” you answer, rolling your lips in when he kisses the tender spot beneath your ear again.

His kisses feel loud, but not as loud as his voice when he says, “exactly.” You swallow, gripping at the edge of the coffee table when he releases your boobs, trails one hand between your thighs, the other around your throat to pull you backwards against his chest. It makes your hands flail, landing against the tops of his thick thighs.

Jungkook holds you close, fingers tightening around your throat teasingly. “No one else can please you like you want,” he exhales, letting his fingers trail over your skin. “Not the guy on tv, not your exes, not the fucking loser at your job,” he hisses, lips against your ear. “No one,” he reiterates, voice softer now as he presses a kiss against you. “No one but me.”

And it’s true.

You can’t even muster your usual mouthy, bratty attitude when Jungkook serves you cold hard facts like this. Not when you can feel his aching member press against the small of your back, rest perfectly in the slight dip between your ass cheeks. “Isn’t that right, sweet girl?” he murmurs, voice low.

You nod, tummy tightening when he uses the hand between your thighs to spread them apart. “Only you,” you agree, voice feathery.

Jungkook hides a grin against your skin, a mean chuckle escaping him when he rests his forehead against your shoulder. “Fuck,” he says, releasing your throat. “Such a good girl,” he praises, hands on your hips again. He uses them to encourage you up onto your knees, hips bumping into the edge of the table as he shuffles you forward. “Bend,” he says quietly, palm flat on the center of your back, pushing you down until your belly button is pressed against the cold wood, boobs swinging forward just the slightest. “Perfect.”

Jungkook shuffles up behind you, soothes a hand over your hip when you flinch at the first press of his cock against your folds. “You’re okay,” he comforts, voice like honey as he lines himself up. Your folds are slippery and wet, loose from your arousal and the two orgasms he’s already given you.

Despite all that, the first push of his engorged cock past the tight muscles makes you gasp. “Baby, that’s,” you moan, nails scratching against the coffee table to make a sound that you would otherwise find uncomfortable. “I—“

Jungkook pants behind you, cock sinking further and further in. “I’ve got you,” he husks. His voice is like the light at the end of the tunnel, your dark vision forcing you to rely on him entirely as he guides you through the motions. “Made for me,” he repeats, voice airy.

You nod jerkily, arms trembling as his cock plunges deeper inside of you. “Made for you,” you gasp, head falling forward, forehead pressed against the cold surface in front of you.

He moans, and there’s one deafening moment of silence when he finally reaches the hilt, soft pubic hairs at the base of his cock brushing against your folds. It’s a familiar sensation, having him buried inside of you, but it’s always different when he’s doing it from behind. He always feels fuller, bigger, mushroom tip practically kissing your cervix.

“Kook,” you whimper, walls unintentionally contracting around him when he lingers a second too long. “Move.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he curses behind you. “I know, it’s just—“ he pauses, squeezes your hip so hard, you’re certain it’ll bruise. “I wanna… y’know,” he groans, dropping his head against your back, warm breath fanning across your slightly sweaty skin.

It makes something in your stomach click into place, shifting back just the slightest. The small drag around your lips makes you brave. “Then do it,” you urge, desperate for any sort of friction.

Jungkook practically growls, bucking into you once. “No,” he says, like he’s battling with himself, faced with a mental hurdle he can only cross alone. “You don’t understand,” he sneers, suddenly snapping back into position behind you, pulling you flush against his pelvis once more. It makes you whimper.

“I kinda do—“

“You don’t,” Jungkook hisses, forcefully thrusting his hips into you enough to make your hips knock painfully against the edge of the coffee table, a startled moan falling from between your lips. And from there, it’s like you’ve unleashed a beast, because Jungkook shows you no mercy as he begins fucking you, his fat cock slipping in and out of you, his angry head flirting with your entrance. “I wanna fucking breed you,” he sneers, fingers digging into the skin around your waist to hold you still as he bucks his hips forward.

His vulgarity makes your skin heat up, the warmth probably tangible over your sloppily made blindfold, eyes wide despite the fabric that covers them. “That—” you gasp, thighs trembling with each powerful thrust.

“It’s too much, I fucking know,” he huffs dryly, releasing one hip to press against your shoulders, roughly shoving you forward until your breasts are pressed against the surface, arms bent up beside you to stop yourself from hitting your head. “But— But,” he shudders, suddenly stopping his thrusts to grind his cock against you instead, pussy lips quivering around his girthy member. “I wanna,” he pants, “wanna see you so fucking full of me, because— you’re mine, __,” he seethes, “right?”

You nod blindly, dumbly, brain too flooded with the stimulation he’s bestowing upon you to think properly. “I- I am,” you confirm, gasping for air. “And you’re mine,” you manage to get out, one hand slapping down against the coffee table when he draws his cock out, slams himself back into you quickly.

“I’m yours,” Jungkook slurs behind you, slowly picking up his pace again. The hand on your back lets go, and it’s with trembling arms that you manage to push yourself back onto your forearms, one hand blindly reaching for the hand he’s got gripping at your hips.

“Oh my god,” you whimper, the sounds coming from your connected bodies so lewd and obscene, disgustingly wet when Jungkook slips back inside. He surges forward again, and you try to catch your balance, knees quivering underneath the force of his thrusts. Your hand slides over the tabletop in a feeble effort to hold onto something, anything. You can’t see, and even if you could there’s not much to hold onto on a flat surface.

Except the box your hand knocks into. Your confusion lasts for only about a second because then Jungkook is ramming his cock into you, over and over, until you’re certain your hips are going to bruise and your knees are going to give out. Jungkook’s moans are soft and feathery, sighs that fan over your shoulder and make your back arch, eyes rolling backwards for the briefest second as if you were possessed.

“Mine,” he whimpers, desperate and needy, fingernails digging into your skin as he pushes on. “Gonna be mine forever,” he growls. “Gonna— Gonna be so pretty and big,” he moans, “tits so fucking full.” The image he puts in your mind makes you dizzy.

You nod dumbly, knuckles bumping against the box a second time. “Jungkook,” you choke out, fingers blindly nudging the box aside. But there’s no strength behind it, your entire body feeling weak and useless, all the energy concentrated in the coil in your stomach, the one that grows and tightens with every entrance of Jungkook’s cock into your pulsing walls. “There’s— There’s something,” you gasp, pinky finger tapping against it.

Behind you, Jungkook stills, harsh breaths deafeningly loud. Louder than the television and the corny music that plays, the mindless chatter of the characters you couldn’t name even if you tried. “Why would you...” Jungkook huffs, irritation lacing his words.

You don’t get to question it, because a second later his finger is tucking itself beneath your blindfold, yanking it off carelessly. It makes your head crane backwards, a tiny yelp torn from your lips as the blinding glow of the TV attacks your poor eyes at full force. Jungkook’s long since stopped his rapid thrusts, and it’s only when you glance off to the side that you realize why.

It’s the stupid box of flowers Seokjin had sent you, the one Jungkook had placed on the coffee table when you first got home.

Behind you, Jungkook releases one long exhale, both of you looking at the arrangement with various degrees of discomfort. “Did you like them,” he murmurs, cock throbbing inside of you.

You shake your head, a soft, “no,” falling from your lips. The muscles in your thighs quiver like mad.

Jungkook says nothing, but you watch as one inked arm stretches out from behind you, the movement of his hips pushing his cock deeper into you. A tiny whimper catches in your throat, watching as Jungkook hooks a finger over the lip of the box. One swift tug has it gliding over the tabletop, coming to a stop right beside your forearm. Jungkook leans back, the silence terrifying.

“Did you think they were pretty?” he asks, tracing one finger down your spine. Your lower lip trembles as your eyes scan over the bouquet, at the pretty color selection and lovely scent that joined together to overwhelm your senses.

“No,” you say, but it feels like a lie.

And Jungkook thinks so too, wrapping one hand around your throat and pulling you back forcefully. It’s the same as he did earlier, but with his cock deep inside your pussy, it sends a shock throughout your entire nervous system, a sob tearing itself from within you as he unintentionally pushes himself deeper inside. “Did you,” he says a second time, practically seething, “think Seokjin’s flowers were pretty?”

Your eyes flicker nervously across the screen in front of you, but everything is a blur, Jungkook’s harsh breathing against your ear. “Yes,” you confess, whimpering when his fingers tighten around your throat, press down against your windpipe as he inhales sharply. “But they’re just flow—“ He squeezes your throat so hard, your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, mind growing fuzzy. Eventually, he lets go and you dissolve into a fit of coughs, bent over the coffee table again as Jungkook slips his stiff cock out from within you. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle, throwing a teary-eyed look over your shoulder.

What you’re not expecting is for Jungkook to grab that same shoulder and roughly push you onto your side away from the coffee table, falling onto the fluffy rug as he shoves you down. “Something pretty for a pretty girl,” he sneers, biting down a frankly maniacal grin.

“What?” you exhale, probably looking at him with the same maniacal look in your eyes.

(You were made for each other, so crazy and in love.)

Jungkook stretches one toned arm out, and you flinch when he uses that same beautiful arm to send the box of flowers flying over the edge of the coffee table, a hard thwack resounding throughout the room when they land face down on the other side, petals against the floor, water dripping out from inside.

With those out of the way, Jungkook wastes no time flipping you over, face shoved down against the soft rug as he angles your hips up. “Thinking about someone else when I’m right here,” he growls, ramming his cock back into you with no warning. You sob, clawing at nothing as he bucks forward. “What a mean girl,” Jungkook scolds.

“I- I wasn’t,” you defend weakly, shivering as he snaps his hips against you, the rug irritating your cheek when the motion sends you forward. Jungkook uses the hands on your hips to pull you back, your skin clapping together loudly.

“You think Seokjin would— would fuck you like this?” he spits, using you like a toy as he fucks basically for himself, cock sliding in and out of your squelching walls. “You think he’d push you down and—and call you a stupid girl?”

You shake your head, eyes squeezed shut to fight the wave of tears threatening your waterline. Truthfully, it doesn’t make much of a difference, especially not when Jungkook yanks your hips back again, your entrance sensitive from all the friction. “No, no,” you sob. ”He wouldn't.”

Jungkook scoffs, not bothering to slow his pace down. “Of course he wouldn’t,” he spits, and then, strikes your ass. Two hard cracks of his palm, rings and all, against the globes of your ass. You wail, unconsciously jerking away only for Jungkook to drag you back. “Stupid girl,” Jungkook sighs, cock twitching inside of you. You can feel the beads of precum oozing out from the tip of his cock inside you, their warmth making you shudder.

Your other ass cheek receives the same treatment, two harsh smacks that leave the skin tingling, blood rising to the surface. “Stupid, stupid girl,” he repeats, palms rubbing over your cheeks for a brief second, only to strike down again. “Aren’t you?” You nod, fat tears dripping out of the corner of your eyes and down onto the fluffy rug beneath you. Your behind stings, pain blossoming over your skin. But it’s the good kind, the one that has drool escaping from the corner of your lips from how overwhelmed it leaves you.

“I- I’m a stupid girl,” you agree, your words punctuated by a series of tiny sobs and sniffles. Your walls feel sensitive, raw, from his thrusts. You’re ready to come, trembling hands slithering down to reach for your clit.

“Don’t,” Jungkook warns, snatching your arm up and twisting it behind you.

You cry, tears and drool against the rug. “I wanna come,” you whimper, trying your other hand only for it to meet a similar demise. “Please,” you sniffle, turning your face the other way as if the angle will somehow be different.

“You don’t come until I say so,” Jungkook hisses, using his grip on your wrists to tug you onto his cock. You moan, choke on your own saliva from the force, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix for real this time. It renders you stupid, just like Jungkook had called you, chin trembling as your eyes roll backwards. Behind you, Jungkook grunts something deep and raspy. “Fffuck,” he spits, pistoning his hips into your inviting heat. “You were doing so good tonight—“ a particular brutal buck of his hips, a loud moan torn from your lips “—but first those fucking flowers and now this?”

The rhythm of his deep thrusts cut your moans into stuttered little cries, your words broken with every ram of his cock inside of you. Your walls feel worn, every brush sending a tingling shock up your spine. “I- I’m sorry,” you weep, shoulders shaking from your own tears and the rumbling orgasm that’s just about ready to snap.

Jungkook says nothing, too busy shoving his cock inside of you to grace you with a response. Instead, you’re subjected to his relentless thrusts, sharp gasps from his pretty mouth. “Fuck,” he pants, releasing your wrists after one particular thrusts, your walls clenching around him painfully when he draws his cock out.

“I can’t,” you sniffle, knees giving out before he can catch you, sadly sinking down onto the plush rug. “Kook, I—”

Jungkook makes a sound, something between a growl and a roar in the back of his throat as he follows behind you, planting two firm hands on the sides of your head to use as leverage to fuck himself in. With your thighs pressed flat together, the squeeze is tighter than ever before, and your eyes roll backwards as he gets to work, walls fluttering from the overstimulation.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he pants, all games thrown aside as he begins pounding his cock past your folds, deep into your contracting walls, until that tight spring in your stomach gives out and you’re clenching up beneath him, entire body going stiff for one long beat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you weep, thighs quivering as you cream his cock, make his movements so slippery and wet, almost dangerous when he’s going this fast. His name falls from your trembling lips, every nickname and pet name you’ve ever given him mindlessly blubbered through your orgasm. Jungkook pays you no mind, thighs tensing up as he chases his high, short breaths and moans filling the space as he fucks himself into you. Until, finally, a few deep strokes later, he’s coming with a shuddered cry of your name on his tongue, collapsing over you, forehead pressed to your back as he catches his breath.

“Fuck,” he groans one last time, body going slack very quickly. He slumps down beside you, softening cock slipping out of your tender folds.

The floor between the coffee table and the couch is dark, the television glow not reaching down here. Even still, the sweat clinging to Jungkook makes him look like a sparkly Twilight vampire, the dip between his pecs collecting the smallest pool of sweat. You can’t stop yourself from running your pointer finger along the skin, over his nipple. His pec jumps deliciously under the attention. “Stop,” Jungkook sighs, catching your wrist in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles in an attempt to distract you. “Or I’ll really get you pregnant next time.”

You push yourself onto your elbows, pinching his doughy cheek. “You won’t,” you tease. Jungkook flicks his hair away from his eyes to level you with a look you’ve never seen before, not a trace of his usual post-sex playfulness to be found. It has you retracting your hand, eyes wide when he doesn’t stand down. Still, you can’t lose. “...No you won’t,” you repeat, quieter, almost unsure. Almost a question.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, tugging you into his arms. He’s all sweaty and sticky, just like you. He’s lucky he doesn’t have four separate loads of cum— three from you, one from him —sticking between his thighs. “Keep telling yourself that,” he pants, so smoothly. Too smoothly. It makes you clench your thighs, something Jungkook doesn’t miss. “Stop it,” he warns a second time.

“You’re just so dreamy,” you whine, sitting back up to play with his hand. “Like, when you made me squirt?” He chuckles softly, eyes fluttering shut. “Not gonna lie, I thought I saw the answer to the universe for a second.”

He’s worn out today, more than usual, that he doesn’t bother gracing you with a response. But it had been a long day for Jungkook; from planning an entire date, to the Seokjin debacle, to the crazy hot sex he’d gifted you. It was only reasonable. You reward his efforts with a soft peck against his cheek that makes him smile, a light blush painting his cheeks. “You did good today,” you hum, patting chest comfortingly.

“Felt like I was in a Viki drama,” he confesses after a moment, has that tiny smile on his face that makes the apples of his cheeks especially round, especially cute. “The kind that have twelve plot lines going on.”

You laugh, snuggling beside him. The rug feels dirty, but so do you so the feeling is cancelled out or whatever. “You’d be the Park Seojoon of any Viki drama,” you tell him, and Jungkook laughs.

That loud and airy one he reserves only for you.

epilogue

Namjoon calls Jungkook’s phone a little after eleven, talking your ear off about some date he’d gone on while Jungkook is in the shower. You tell him about what happened with Seokjin and like all respectable college mentors, he just about flips. “You can sue him,” Namjoon hisses, furious for you. Not that you aren’t anymore, but in a weird act of impulsiveness, Jungkook had gone outside and ran the stupid box of flowers over with his car as you watched from the open window of your apartment. It was weirdly cathartic.

He’s in the shower now, humming the lyrics to one of the songs from Secretary Kim, a song called It’s You by Jeong Sewoon (thank you, Shazam), that makes every inch of your body overflow with adoration when he hits that long note. Anyway, you’re perusing the rest of the streaming service for a movie to watch. Jungkook said you couldn’t watch Train to Busan tonight, something about it ruining the mood. So now you’re debating between a historical romcom or a modern romcom.

Over the line, Namjoon is doing all the raging for you. “Men are trash,” he huffs one last time, before eventually letting it go. (For now.) “Hey, do you know how to cover up hickeys?” he asks suddenly, just as Jungkook reappears in the living room. His skin is glowing, looking like the hottest man alive. The window is still open, a feeble attempt to air out the smell of sex in the room, and the draft makes Jungkook shiver because his hair is still a little wet.

“Hickeys?” you repeat, stretching a hand out for him as he rounds the couch. Jungkook takes it, places a soft smooch against your knuckles, close to your promise ring. Your heartbeat stutters just as Namjoon hums.

“Yeah, this girl,” he says, cutting himself off with a laugh. One you recognize all too well because it’s the same one you let out when you talk about Jungkook to other people. Said boy settles close beside you, leans his cheek against your head when you snuggle into his neck. As soon as he’s there, you lose all rights to the remote, watching as Jungkook completely disregards all your searching just to click back onto Secretary Kim. He had missed a whole episode. “We went a little crazy tonight—“ you gag at the image Namjoon places in your head “—and Doyeon bites kinda hard—“

“Doyeon?” you interrupt, all mental processes coming to an abrupt halt as the name bounces around your mind. Jungkook, having mastered the art of listening in on your phone calls by now, freezes beside you. “You know a Doyeon?”

“Yeah!” Namjoon says excitedly as you sit up. Jungkook meets your gaze, big Bambi eyes giving the performance of a lifetime, and gives your this overly innocent shrug of his shoulders that tells you more about what he does know than what he doesn’t. “Kim Doyeon. She went to your school— actually, she graduated with you and Kook.”

The world comes to a complete stop as you glare at Jungkook, his panicked features cueing you in to the fact he was aware of this, as you’d suspected. “Namjoon,” you say slowly, fist tightening around Jungkook’s phone. “Are you aware you’re fucking my best friend?”

There’s a long silence on the other end, Namjoon presumably processing the information while Jungkook tries to calm the boiling anger within you. “He didn’t know,” Jungkook whispers, big pretty eyes on you as he tries to save Namjoon from you.

All his efforts are in vain when Namjoon clears his throat and so eloquently says, “and you’re fucking my best friend?”

epi-epilogue

The Best Buy employee doesn’t ask questions when you and Jungkook go in to get your cracked phone screens repaired. He does, however, give Jungkook an over-exuberant sales pitch on a brand new line of computer monitors that are almost as big as the television at your house.

You try to save him from the dangerous hands of capitalism, but the Hello Kitty bandaids decorating your neck are itchy, the skin still so tender, so sometimes it’s wiser to let him waste his money than argue otherwise.

“Good girl,” Jungkook says as he swings your arms back and forth on your walk to the car, impressed by the fact you didn’t argue with him in a Best Buy today. “My perceptions and understanding of you in my life make me happy,” he beams, too smiley as he unlocks the doors.

“Shut up,” you glare, painfully tearing the stupid bandaids off your neck as soon as you get in, brandishing the blossoming hickeys Jungkook had so graciously given you last night. At the sight, he bites down a smile. “You’re about to perceive and understand these fists.”

And Jungkook smiles— he always smiles —as he leans over the center console to press his mouth against the darkened skin at the front of your neck, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over your promise ring. “Perceive this love,” he says, so cheesy it makes you gag.

“Goddd,” you groan, pushing him away before he can see the smile on your face. “Someone get this man a Viki deal.”

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader smut #bts jungkook #bts fic #bts smut #mine

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dancingazaleas · 3 years

Text

dating connie springer hcs

simp alert simp alert simp alert

connie is abt to be a regular on my blog i love his himbo ass so much also i’m tired of the lack of connie fics

also i am a connie kin and i am in love with him, yes i am conceited

warnings/notes: cursing, sex jokes, modern au!, canon au too, connie being a himbo, LOTS OF FLUFF, angst <3

modern au!

ok first of all, mr springer here would probably not even notice u at first, he’s literally in his own world

but when he does he’s like ‘awooga awooga😻’

whenever he has a crush on someone, be it anyone, i feel like he acts like a lovestruck girl.

like i feel like he does the same thing as me, like if u were dating him and said smth really sweet like “i love you so much you are my world” he’d be like “STOP IM GONNA SHART”

he doesn’t exactly know to handle love in a serious way, he’s just not in relationships tht much!

he’s very smitten and sweet on the first date too, this mf will be so cryptic

like all of a sudden ur getting texts that say “heyyyyy so what’s ur favorite thing to do? haha i’m boreddd” like connie just... just ask

HE’S SUCH A GENTLEMAN

connie also loves pda, he will give you kisses in public around anyone. he does not care

he’ll text you at like 3 am and be like “miss u🙁” like go to bed

i feel like connie doesn’t get jealous but he DOES get insecure. he’s not mad that you’re spending time with other people but it will make him questions if he’s good enough for you sometimes

if connie were to get jealous i feel like he’d be extra touchy

if you were to have any classes with him while you both are students, he will literally cheat off you

“babe, i’ll take you on a date on friday if i can have the answers!!”

“say less.”

i feel like connie is secretly sad about whatever. he doesn’t tell anyone but jean, sasha, marco, and you about it

connie probably also wouldn’t know how to efficiently comfort you if you were upset.

whenever you do come to him, he gives you encouragement and reassurance and love and then decides to slip in a little joke to see if you can handle it

he ends up joking with you for the rest of the night

i genuinely think that connie is secretly a diehard kung-fu panda fan? sometimes on date nights, he makes you watch it with him

with a guy like connie, you barely have to second guess him loving you.

connie is generally friendly with everyone he comes across. he has a big heart and isn’t afraid to let his friends know that he loves them

but with connie, i think he’s a lot like me and just likes to be alone a lot and left alone. he will hours without texting you and then text u and be like “wait what happened?”

this man will fight with you on the daily

like you’re sitting on the couch watching tv?? connie punches ur arm

standing up just to stand? connie is shoving you and then putting his fists up

laying in bed together? connie is smacking your forehead

oh my god, he will literally come up to you all lovey dovey and lay on you then will coo “omg babe, i love you so much ur so cute!! i love you” which is suspicious in itself

AND THEN THIS MF WILL FUCKING FART ON YOU.

like not cute little toots, FULL ON FARTS THAT STINK

connie is so loud. literally so fucking loud

it’s cause he’s comfortable around you and you can’t help but be like ♥️♥️ because of it, he’s too cute

whenever you post on instagram, he’s in your comments acting like those creepy sugar daddies and porn bots

conniesprings: so beautiful!! send boobs😁

conniesprings: wanna have some fun with me? check dms😉

he makes the fuckboy emoji every time you snapchat him a selfie of you with the caption of “haha ur so sexy.... nudes⁉️”

i feel like connie would facetime you every time he has to poop. you always get so mad and hang up but he will spam you with calls until you answer. claims it’s a “bonding experience”

he put his contact name as ‘dad😩🥵⁉️’ on your phone because he thinks he’s so funny

also anytime you bend down/over to pick something up or to look at smth he literally grabs ur hips and pretends to fuck u 😭

he’s also so shameless, he will smack your ass in public; he does not care

literal menace to society but we love him

he loves you with his whole heart and soul, he wouldn’t trade you for the world

canon au!

connie would not get in a relationship in canonverse, but he would fall in love possibly

he would never act on it, he doesn’t have the luxuries because he’s a soldier.

he shows his love in small affections though, but not small enough where sasha and jean don’t notice it.

he’s always checking in on you, and if you’re a scout, always making sure your equipment is working and that your gas is filled

however, he won’t try to convince levi, armin, or hanji to keep you out of dangerous situations.

saving the world is his top priority.

if you are put into a dangerous situation, he will pray for you to be alright and safe.

sometimes late at night when everyone is asleep, he stays up and cries. he wishes for you both to have a different life without any of this, for the two of you to be together

connie doesn’t joke as much as he used to, but he will always try to make an effort for you.

he would devastated if you were to die.

he usually isn’t allowed to have time for mourning or grieving, so whenever he does get rare chances to be alone, he cries to himself with his head in his hands

connie springer’s smile is gone at this point. he’s lost everyone and everything.

he’s just a shell of a man now.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #aot angst #aot fluff #connie springer #connie x reader #connie snk #connie aot

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causalgelato1993445 · 3 years

Text

Drunken Snaps & Unrequited love

Chapter two

pairing: felix x reader, with a hint of chan

word count: 1,376

warnings: mentions of alcohol abuse and fighting

group: skz

The morning is fresh, and rich with the smell of earthy autumn leaves. A cool breeze drifts through the holes in my cream sweater, and on any other day, I'd exhale with a smile and thank the universe for a cool day to break the cycle of endless heat. Today, however, I'm holding in that breath. My body is tense and stiff. I’ve dreaded this Monday morning and its consequences for two days.

As I slide into the seat of my car, I open snapchat, and read over the messages to which I still haven't responded. Part of me feels guilty, and rightfully so. Felix does not deserve to be left on open. However the situation is tricky, and I fear saying the wrong thing.

Last Friday, I made a big mistake.

Before Christopher arrived, Felix Lee and I were best friends. We grew up together, experienced middle school alongside one another. We giggled together when Mrs. Miller would mispronounce words, or when Peter DeWitt would run down the halls screaming profanities. The beauty of public school was the friends i’d made, and the heartbreaks, and the fights and make ups. And all the while the smaller blonde remained by my side, faithfully, as if it were his only responsibility.

It never occurred to me why…

Felix is a straight A student. He does his community service at the local animal shelter to play with all the “lonely dogs”. He’s on the swim team, and swimming has given him a beautiful physique, but the boy only wears baggy sweaters and hoodies. He is trustworthy and patient, and anyone would be lucky to have him. And yet, he chose me.

In another life, if I'd never met Christopher, I might have loved felix.

When Chris moved here, and started school our freshman year, Felix grew distant. He hung around less, came over less, and began cancelling plans. He snarled his nose when I would speak of chris. He would act annoyed when I would lose myself in thoughts of him. And now, I understand.

The smell of sweat, and ungodly amounts of Victoria's secret perfume hits me like a brick as I walk through the doors. I’m eyeing my surroundings, turning every corner with caution so I don't run into Felix unintentionally. Of course, I plan on confronting him eventually, but for now, avoiding him seems to be the most promising option. The homeroom bell has not rung yet, so i opt for a quick stop by my locker. It would benefit my stressed out mind not to have 30 extra pounds of weight on my back.

But my heart stops when I see him standing at my locker. Why him, why now.

“uh...Chris. What’s up?”

He’s leaning against my locker, arms crossed with a friendly smile.

“Oh, hey, I was waiting for you!” He speaks in his thick aussie accent. I do my best not to melt into a puddle.

“Yea, I noticed. What can I help you with?” I ask. It’s too early for this.

“Actually, (y/n) was it? I need some help with something, and I was told you could help. Do you know Clara?” He asks. I flinch at the name. And suddenly i realize, she was the blonde girl with the flowers.

“You mean Clara Casteel? Yeah, Why?”

“Well,” he reaches a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “I was hoping you would talk to her for me.”

“uhhh...Clara and I haven't talked since 5th grade. You know we aren’t-”

“I know I know, the big fight, your parents, the drinking. You aren’t friends with her anymore. But why would that stop you from at least trying?” He persists. I stare at him in confusion. Why would he push me to talk to her if he knew what had happened. And who told him that I would?

“I...i’m gonna get to class.” I mutter, brows furrowed.

The lunch bell rings, and I’m awoken from my class nap. Nobody seems to have suspected anything. I rise from my seat slowly and stretch out my stiff limbs. Something catches my eye. A tiny ghost notification. My heart beats a little faster and I curse at myself for being so afraid.

I open up a snap, and as I suspected, it’s felix. This time, without thinking i open it to reveal all four messages.

“(y/n)? Did you get my snap?”

“Am I bothering you?”

“When can I see you?” and finally

“(y/n) i’m sitting in the far left corner at the empty table. Please come sit with me.”

I sigh, collecting my things and trudging to the lunchroom. When I arrive, marissa waves me over, but my eyes instinctively drift to the far left corner. And there he is. In front of him is a single chocolate muffin and a ceramic travel mug of tea. He’s sporting an oversized blue knit sweater and a pair of ripped jeans, his platinum locks tousled from the outdoor wind. He must have walked to starbucks for lunch.

The boy has his slim legs crossed at the calves, and he’s giggling at something on his phone. I almost want to go sit with him. I start to turn to head towards marissa’s table, when i see felix pop his head up. He immediately looks at me, and breaks out in a grin. Suddenly, the boy waves me over, pulling a small Starbucks bag up from the seat next to him. Que the guilt.

Against my better judgement I start to walk over, and he’s practically buzzing with excitement. When I reach the table, the boy is at his peak of happiness.

“Oh, (y/n) for a second i thought you wouldn’t show, but i’m so glad you did. I saw you finally opened my snaps, you must not have gotten them until today.” he rambles. I crack a smile.

“Yeah, I got them. Is that for me?” I smirk. He grins, and he resembles the sun.

“Oh, yeah! It's a lemon pound cake. I know it’s your favorite.” he bounces it off his seat as he hands it to me. It’s a little crumbled. I chuckle.

The blonde stares down bashfully as I take a bite of it, pulling his small hands into the holes of his sleeves. For a minute I can see the sheer infatuation in his eyes. He’s so genuine, and full of life. He deserves to have someone, he deserves to be loved on. But I just don’t want to push him further away than I already had.

“You know,” he mumbles, “I almost questioned if that snap was even for me. But why else would you have talked to me at hyunjin’s party?” I frown, resting my chin on my palm. “Anyway, I'm glad you did. I’ve loved you since 6th grade. I felt so bad for you after what happened with Clara. I thought you were still hung up on chris.”

“Well…” I begin “we’ll see what happens.” I gave a weak smile, taking another bite of the treat.

“Can I take you out this weekend? Well, I mean...you’ll have to drive us, but dinner is on me.” he smiles bashfully.

Before I have the opportunity to answer, the bell rings yet again. We stand, and Felix does a small stretch. He waddles over to me with his arms outstretched, and embraces me around my waist. He has a look of joy on his face, almost as if he were a child holding a puppy.

As the lunchroom grows empty, the boy looks at me in the eyes for the first time with red cheeks. Platinum bangs falling into his eyes.

“(y/n), i missed you. Please don’t forget about me this time.” he whispers. The room is silent as we stand alone in the far left corner of the lunch room. I brush the hair away from his face and he wrinkles his nose.

“I’ll pick you up at 5:00 on friday” I whisper to him, letting go of his small body and exiting through the metal doors.

Outside the art room, Clara Casteel giggles, twirling her hair as Chris smiles his lopsided smile. Our eyes meet as I pass by.

#DS&UL #felix #skz #stray kids #felix x reader #stray kids felix #felix lee #bang chan #chan x reader #sub!felix

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tommybaholland · 3 years

Note

Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy.

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool.

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game.

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him.

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously.

are you alive??

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle.

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings.

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.”

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right.

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously.

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.”

“wow, that’s great!”

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.”

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.”

“you never let me down!”

his smile never let you down.

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky.

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing.

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them.

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them.

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all.

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood.

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started.

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing.

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes.

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though

thank you i hope its going well

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning.

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more.

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would.

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement.

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part.

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :)

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid?

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to.

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now

was it okay though?

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true?

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news.

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now

oh well that’s great!

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore.

you had your priorities and suga had his.

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared.

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him.

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect.

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume?

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him?

Yeah could you?

yeah sure!

Yay thanks!

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out.

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating.

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious.

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month.

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him.

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life.

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!”

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it,

you were in love with koshi sugawara.

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to.

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way?

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon.

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him?

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals?

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :)

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet.

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings?

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

it was the friday before the finals game.

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months.

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team.

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.”

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious.

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi.

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there.

you didn’t get much sleep that night.

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most.

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it.

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it.

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top.

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success.

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up.

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you.

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did.

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory.

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair.

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first.

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him.

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

#haikyuu x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara oneshot #sugawara fluff #sugawara angst #tommybaholland

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myluciferiscody · 4 years

Text

i loved you first. p.1

pairing: Xavier Plympton x Reader

word count: 2,205

warnings: au! in present time, language, but okay can you imagine (not dead) Xavier THRIVING in 2020

not entirely proof-read. *title inspired by joan’s song*

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | epilogue

When you met Xavier Plympton, your relationship had been strictly platonic. You expected it to remain that way, despite the fact he was funny, empathetic, good looking, and at times, a little dumb, endearingly so.

So when you started to fall for him, you continually brushed it off.

Oh, it's just a phase, you'd think to yourself as Xavier sheepishly wiped down the kitchen after using the Ninja blender and not securing the lid tightly enough. Or the time he and his friend, Chet, spent hours in your cramped living room arguing because they couldn't figure out how to set up the Roku Xavier bought instead of paying for cable. You watched in amusement, sipping your smoothie, wrapped in your blanket until they finally figured it out.

The little things Xavier would do for you also did not help. He'd make your coffee in the morning, or make dinner on nights you'd run late or grab food on the way home, ready to pig out and watch Netflix. The little things you never thought would make you fall for someone, did.

When your first anniversary of living together passed, Xavier bought a box of Capri-Suns and put some balloons in the living room when you arrived home from work. Your feet were aching, and you were ready to take a hot shower and curl up in bed. Xavier's infectious smile made you forget all of the seemingly endless bad things that had happened to you that day.

Still, you continued to hide your true feelings. Xavier never indicated he felt the same for you, and you were afraid of getting in too deep just to become disappointed.

It was like watching a Hallmark movie enfold in front of you when your best friends, Montana and Brooke soon realized you had feelings for him.

"You should tell him, y/n," Brooke said, her eyes bright, she was quite the romantic.

"Yeah, it's unfortunate watching you pine over him," Montana said, shrugging at you when you glared at her. "What? All I'm saying is that it's sad, and you deserve to be happy," she said. Brooke nodded in agreement.

"And if he doesn't like me back? I might lose him for good," you said, pushing that wicked thought away as fast as it came. "I don't want to lose him."

Brooke and Montana shared a look before changing the subject. You still caught the glimpses they threw you throughout the evening.

That was last weekend, and now that Friday was slowly approaching, you anxiously watched as the clock ticked to the time your shift ended. Xavier wanted everybody to go out and have a good time tonight, and he claimed he was bringing along a "special guest." You immediately assumed it was Brooke's boyfriend, Ray, who was away for work and was supposed to be home a day early to surprise her.

You were... kind of correct.

Ray was there, but so was another woman.

Who Xavier introduced as his girlfriend.

The initial shock at his words quickly manifested on your face. It was more horrifying when not only Brooke and Montana looked at you, but Chet and Ray as well. You hid your face with your hair as Xavier proudly introduced his friends to the redhead who was clinging to his waist.

"-and my roommate, y/n," he gestured to you with a grin.

You slowly waved at her, ignoring the sinking feeling in your belly as she slowly sized you up and down before smiling and waving back. For a quick second, you felt judged. Until you realized you had also checked her out for the simple fact of wondering what she had that you didn't.

"Guys, this is Chloe," Xavier grinned down at her, before pressing a kiss to her head.

"How long have you two been together?" Ray asked, throwing his arm around Brooke, who slid her eyes from yours.

"About a month, huh babe?" Chloe smiled.

Your mouth dropped open, looking at the couple in front of you as if they grew two heads. You lived with him, and Xavier never told you about her?

How could you not know?

You continued to remain silent as everybody congratulated Xavier on his newfound romance. A part of you was angry; Xavier was one of your closest friends, you told him everything, and he did the same. For the most part.

Had she been to your apartment? When you weren't home? When you were asleep?

You were also angry that you seemed to miss all the signs. Plus, your heart had just been shattered into a million pieces, and the night had barely begun.

Xavier followed the boys to the bar, promising to pay for the first round. Chloe stayed behind, sitting down in the booth with a sigh. Montana took your hand, giving you a reassuring smile as your eyes blinked back tears.

"Aww, are you two dating?" Chloe asked, her eyes trained on your hands. You could hear her excitement. "I've always wanted lesbian friends!"

Montana smirked, squeezing you tighter. You gave her an alarmed look, but like always, Montana came through. "Only for this one, babe," she said. "Plus, we kind of only just met you, so."

You released Montana's hand, excusing yourself to go to the bathroom while Chloe started taking selfies for her Snapchat. Brooke went to find the boys as you walked to the nearest safe haven, keeping your head down.

You didn't realize that Montana had followed you until you went to lock the door. She gave you a sad smile as she let it click shut, before locking it. For a bathroom at a bar, it was nicely cleaned and smelt like peppermint.

"I didn't know if you wanted to be alone..." she whispered.

"N-No, it's fine," you said, ripping out some paper towels to dry your eyes with. "I appreciate the company."

"If I had known, I would have told you about her, Xavier kept her from me too."

"I just feel so stupid," you sniffled, turning on the water to wipe your eyes with. "To think Xavier would remain single forever until I grew a pair to tell him."

"It's not your fault!" Montana interjected.

You nodded to appease her, but deep down, you were still thinking of the redhead in the other room who was dating the person you loved most.

The night went with you sitting in the booth, watching all your friends dance and grind on each other.

Brooke had an early shift the next day and eventually joined you, swearing off alcohol for the rest of the night. She wrapped her arm around your shoulder, causing you to tear up a little.

Chloe seemed friendly, and you hated that. You wanted to find an excuse to hate everything about her, but it was almost impossible. She had tried talking to you about Xavier, but he pulled her up and away, and you had to stare at the table, so you didn't see them practically fucking through their clothes.

It was the worst when your closest friends didn't seem to notice something was up. Or they pretended not too. The boys were clueless, and you probably needed to be thankful for that. Chet wasn't always the best with dealing with "girl problems," and Ray was currently drunk off his ass. Xavier just danced with Chloe and occasionally came back to the table to suck down his drink.

One AM slowly came around, and you gathered your things, checking your phone to see it was close to dying.

"I think I'm gonna go home." you leaned over as Brooke looked up from her own. She smiled at you, pulling you into a hug, which you gratefully returned.

"Text me when you get there!" she said, saying a final goodbye as you slipped out of the booth. You shrugged on your light jacket, dodging the dancing bodies, and made your way to the entrance when an all too familiar hand gripped your arm.

"Hey! Where are you going, y/n?" Xavier asked, pressing your hand to his chest like he always has. He didn't seem to be drunk yet. "The night's still young, babe!"

You frowned at him, loving his touch, but you pulled your hand from him. "I'm not feeling well, I'm going home!" you called out over the music, refusing to meet his eyes.

"I haven't seen you all night!" he said, a pout on his face. You wanted to throw Chloe into his face, but you knew better. He deserved to hang out with who he wanted. To date, who he wanted.

"Oh, yeah, you've been busy," you said. "I gotta go, Xav," you pulled yourself from his grasp completely before slipping the hood over your head as you walked outside to your car.

When you got home, you texted your girls like you promised and slipped into the shower. You blared your favorite songs, crying when you needed to and fuming when you didn't.

You're so naive, thinking Xavier Plympton could love you.

Don't be so harsh, you then scolded yourself. But at the same time, those words hung heavily over your heart until you crawled into bed, falling fast asleep.

The next few days were somewhat average. You went to work, came home, spent time with Montana or Brooke when Xavier wasn't back at his usual time.

You hadn't seen or heard anything from Chloe since the night you met her.

Almost a week after the bar, you were surprised to find Xavier lounged on the couch, wrapped up in blankets. His cheeks were rosy, and he looked tired. Oh no.

Xavier Plympton had a fever every few months, it seemed. You had always been his designated caretaker since you met him. A part of you hoped that some things could still be the same, even with him having a girlfriend.

He smiled at the sight of you until you heard rustling in the kitchen. You set your bag down in your usual spot, "Xavier, is it another fe-,"

"Xavier! Baby, your tea is ready," Chloe chirped as she came in from the kitchen. She didn't glance at you as she walked to Xavier, holding your designated mug in her hands.

"What kind?" Xavier piped up, sitting up just a bit. You continued winding down, using your ears instead of your eyes.

"Black."

You fought the urge to snicker aloud. Xavier's favorite tea was peppermint, especially when he was sick. You could almost imagine the disgust on his face.

"Oh, thanks, babe," he said lamely. Xavier sat up, gently blowing on the steaming mug in his hands. Chloe sat in the only available chair, watching him with rapt interest. You headed to your room, stripping from your work clothes, not realizing you were rushing just to run back out there.

You're not going to spy on them!

YES, I AM! You snickered to yourself, slipping on your pajamas before brushing out the tangled knots in your hair.

Xavier had laid back down when you came out, watching reruns of Judge Judy while Chloe typed on her phone. Her brows were furrowed as she concentrated, and even then, she looked gorgeous. You chewed on your lip as you crawled on the floor towards Xavier, who smiled at you when you sat in front of him.

"Hey," he rasped.

"Hey, you," you pressed a hand to his forehead, instantly feeling the heat radiating from his skin. "When did this start?"

Xavier shrugged, "I woke up this morning and felt like shit, I've been here all day,"

"Are you monitoring your temperature?" you asked.

"Yes."

"Are you staying, hydrated?"

"Yes."

"Did you wash your sheets?"

Xavier gave you a guilty yet charming smile. "No, I have not."

You laughed a bit, removing your hand from his forehead. "I'll do it for you," you glanced at the teacup on the coffee table, seeing it was barely touched. Chloe didn't seem to be paying you much mind, so you asked him if he'd like more tea. He nodded, almost aggressively as you stood up, promising to make his favorite.

The rest of the night went like this: Chloe hounded Xavier about a few outfit choices she was debating for an important meeting at her job. You made Xavier some soup, opting to reheat your leftovers from the night before. Xavier drank two cups of peppermint tea, then dozed off, leaving an awkward silence between you and Chloe. She seemed attached to her phone, but you didn't mind.

You watched television, still sitting in the same spot on the floor as Xavier softly snored in your ear. It wasn't until you were dozing off yourself that Chloe left, pressing a kiss to Xavier's hot forehead before leaving.

You had changed and washed his bedsheets, but you knew it was pointless trying to move him into bed. When Xavier was sick, he slept like he was dead. You turned off the television and gathered his dirty dishes to place them in the sink.

No matter what became of you and Xavier, or Xavier and Chloe, you knew some things would just never change. One of them is you would always care for Xavier, no matter what.

*if you want to be added to the taglist, you know the drill.*

#xavier plympton x reader #cody fern #ahs 1984 #michael langdon x reader #duncan shepherd x reader #jim mason x reader #ahs imagine

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ralvaille · 3 years

Text

A long-winded reflection on the concept of full-circle, and the weird truth about your 20s

I would have been in the sixth grade when the first episode of Attack on Titan came out.

In seventh grade, the “weird” girl sat next to me in our Spanish class. She liked wolves, drawing, anime, and Five Nights at Freddy’s. I was on the soccer team. I liked her, though. She was nice, if not a little out there, and we had been somewhat friendly in elementary school as well. I think we played softball together in second grade.

Anyway, I remember super vividly this one day in Spanish class when she was drawing Attack on Titan. It was Eren, at the very least—I remember she drew him in black pen but kept his eyes green. I think she drew his titan, too. There was at least one other figure in it, anyway. Maybe Mikasa. Whoever it was. Looking back, it was an insanely good drawing. She was always talented. I just didn’t realize the likeness between the drawing and the actual animation until now.

I think I had asked her about the drawing or something. One way or another though, she ended up telling me about the basic plot. Or, what we had of it within the first season. I just remember her telling me that Eren got eaten, could turn into a titan himself, the works. I politely feigned interest until the conversation died, but I really didn’t care. And that was basically the end of it.

One of my best friends at the time had cousins who were really into anime as well. She liked it too, but didn’t talk about it much. But I do remember her cousins crushing hard on Levi. Another thing I didn’t understand until now. She had me watch the first season of Sword Art Online in eighth grade, I watched one or two episodes of Fairy Tail with her, an episode of Ouran, maybe actually a few episodes of AOT as well, now that I’m really looking back on it. She always loved Sasha.

Basically, I had been exposed to anime before now. And it’s not that I didn’t like it, it just never did anything for me. I had that stereotype in my mind about the people who watched it, and even though I tried over the years to get into it—I think I attempted Snow White with the Red Hair my junior year of high school, last semester I watched an episode or two of Tokyo Ghoul with my other friend who’s into anime—I really just couldn’t. And I think it was that subconscious bias that was doing me in.

So I guess I finally said fuck it and forced myself to stick with SNK. I actually sort of owe it to a guy I graduated with. He was on the football team, one of the more popular kids in the class, and posted to his Snapchat story about the first episode of season four. And I guess I was like shit, well if he can do it then so the fuck can I.

And I’m so glad I did. I (clearly) got really invested, and it’s the act of actually letting myself enjoy something with no internalized shame that’s crazy to me. I remember seeing a Tweet awhile back basically saying that being in your twenties is just going back to things you used to like when you were fourteen and not being embarrassed about it. And I think that’s so beyond true. In the past few months I’ve absolutely revisited my interest in a lot of things I loved when I was younger, and it’s all even better now than it was before.

I don’t know. I’m saying “your 20s” like I didn’t just turn 20 myself six months ago. But in regards to the idea of full-circle, I just think it’s so interesting. The fact that I was so admittedly judgmental and afraid of the opinions of others that I didn’t let myself enjoy something I was interested in, and yet here I am, creating a Tumblr for it, crushing on an emotionally stunted cartoon man who is almost two inches shorter than me, reading and writing fanfiction for a fictional, half-dead pairing, looking into other animes to finally buckle down and watch.

It’s just funny to think of thirteen-year-old me, being vaguely interested in, yet scared of, something that would become a fairly relevant part of my life seven years later. Life is strange, I guess.

#idk this is niche i guess #it's just something i think about sometimes #my thoughts #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #anime #ralvaille

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mortuarybees · 4 years

Text

hello pls enjoy archival assistants ? fluff ? anyway

“How is it,” Sasha says, her chair squeaking as she makes her third swivel, “that so many trans people work here?”

“What do you mean?” Martin squints at her over his phone, which he is playing Minecraft mobile on instead of following up on the third obviously fake lead Jon has assigned him today.

“Well, all three of us,” she says, and nods towards the closed (and never open) Head Archivist’s door, “and Jon. Gertrude before and I heard she had trans assistants too. Percy, Aichoo, Lucy, and Alex in Artefact Storage. And those are just the people I know.”

Martin frowns. “Yeah, and there’s a few in the library too.”

“Maybe it’s a confirmation bias thing,” Tim suggests. His feet are up on his desk and he has a file open on his face. “You know. We’re trans so we notice all the trans people.”

“Yeah, but there’s still a lot,” Sasha insists. “I didn’t have any trans coworkers where I worked before this. That I know of, anyway.”

“I mean, who’s cis here?” Martin asks. It’s a fair question, he thinks. Even his supervisor in the library who wasn’t out when he was first hired came out as non-binary a few years later. And that is kinda weird, isn’t it?

“Rosie,” Tim says, after a moment.

“Yeah, but Rosie’s gay,” Sasha says. “Revised question, I guess, is there anyone here who’s cis and straight.”

They all think about it for a while.

“Elias seems homophobic,” Tim says after a while. “He asked me in the elevator once if I had any big plans for the weekend and I said I was going out with Angus from HR, and he said he hoped I had fun with my friend.”

“Doesn’t Angus still think it was just a friendly drink to this day?” Sasha asks innocently.

“Not the point,” he says, groaning.

“I don’t think Elias is straight,” Martin says. “I think he’s just...old.”

“He can’t be older than his forties,” Sasha says. “And anyway, he’s not, he’s got a husband.”

“Elias is married?” Tim says, finally taking the folder from his face to gawk at Sasha.

“Well, he was, I think he’s divorced now,” she says, and Martin makes a sympathetic noise.

“No, probably best for the poor sod,” Tim says. “Can you imagine being married to Elias? I bet he looks at his Google Calendar to get off.”

“Nope,” Martin says, immediately returning his attention to Minecraft. “Not part of this conversation anymore. At all.”

“We’re seekers of the truth here, no matter how unsettling,” Tim says solemnly.

Sasha, at least, is laughing, and tosses a crumpled post-it note at him. “You’re terrible. And probably right.”

“What kind of guy was Elias married to, anyway?” Tim asks, crossing his arms. “A stockbroker in a four-thousand pound suit?”

Sasha leans forward conspiratorially, waving for both of them to do the same despite the fact Tim’s desk is several feet away and Martin is across the room. Tim obliges eagerly, and Martin with a great deal of reservation, because it feels a little--well, it’s rude, isn’t it? Gossiping about their boss?

(As if he didn’t frantically send a blurry photo of Jon at Waterstones in birkenstocks, high-waisted cargo pants, and what looked like a hand-made band t-shirt to their Snapchat group just a couple of weeks ago. Which he still feels guilty about, but come on, when you’ve only ever seen someone in tweed even at the monthly Institute pub social, it’s a shock.)

He’s weak for gossip, it’s not his fault.

“He was married to a sailor,” Sasha says, and Tim starts to cackle.

“You’re lying,” he says. “A sailor?”

“I’m not! With the hat and everything!” she insists. “I met him at the Institute holiday party. He got really, really drunk and dedicated a karaoke cover of All By Myself to Elias. He’s one of the Lukases, the family that funds the Institute, so I guess he’s loaded.”

“Oh my God,” Tim says, and as soon as his laughter begins to subside, it picks up again. “If he funds the Institute, does that make Elias his sugar baby?”

“I think technically that would make all of us his sugar babies,” Sasha says, and Martin leans back in his chair, sinking down.

“And here I thought we were all just qualified professionals,” he says. Well. Depending on what one meant by qualified.

“Hey, sugar babying is hard,” Tim says. “It’s a real job, it takes work and skill.”

“Were you,” Sasha says, gravely, “were you a sugar baby, Tim?”

“First of all, I think we just established we all are,” he says, “and second of all, no, but I considered it very seriously during my uni days.”

“You should’ve given it a go then,” Sasha says. “You could’ve made a killing before your youth was gone.”

“And now I’m trapped here, in the lowest rung of sugar babying,” he sighs. “Just one of several hundred. Unnamed, unnoticed.”

“It’s sad,” Sasha says, with great sympathy.

“It’s alright,” he says, sniffing. “At least that explains all the trans people. Maybe Lukas is a chaser.”

“Or maybe it’s all an elaborate front,” Sasha muses. “Lukas and Elias are gay. Maybe they’re funneling donor money into queer pockets.”

“Just because Elias is gay doesn’t mean he’s not a homophobe,” Tim says. “Definitely doesn’t mean he’s not a transphobe. I don’t think he’d plot to enrich his fellow gays. I think my theory is more sound.”

“When Jon gets done recording and hears this, please make it clear I wasn’t part of this conversation,” Martin says.

“Will do,” Tim says. “‘Just so you know, Boss, Martin wasn’t talking about our job at all, he was playing Minecraft on his phone with his computer screen tilted perfectly so you couldn’t see him when you opened your door.’”

“I--I am not,” Martin scowls, sitting up straighter. “I’m--it’s research. I’m doing research.”

“Class traitor,” Sasha says, and shakes her head at Tim.

“It’s what he asked me to do!”

Jon’s door clicks open, and Martin leaps to look busy, fingers flying over the keyboard typing nonsense into a Word document, ignoring Tim’s stifled laughter.

“Just so you all know,” Jon says, and Martin peaks over his computer monitor to look at him, his back rod-straight and shoulders squared off in his handsome blazer that’s just a little too large for his small frame, and God if that never fails to make his heart squeeze. It plummets a moment later as he continues, “I finished recording half an hour ago.”

“Ah,” Tim says, cutting a look at Martin, “Did you happen to be...listening--”

“Yes,” Jon says, and for some reason gives Martin a withering look. “If you play computer games while you are supposed to be working again, Martin, I will make a note for your performance review.”

“But I wasn’t--” his stare somehow hardens, and Martin swallows, nodding miserably.

“Excellent,” he says, and turns back to his office. “And I believe the Institute’s diversity of employees can be owed to its non-discrimination policy. Not Peter Lukas’ preferences.” With that, he shuts the door, and Martin’s forehead thumps onto his desk just as Sasha and Tim begin cackling.

(martin mincraft hc owed to this the best art of all)

#henry speaks #is it crack if it's just sitting around being idiots together? i dont think so but. mayhaps #gay coworkers unite #tma #henry writes #the magnus archives

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overcomebyemotions · 3 years

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On the second installment of "Apparently my life is a TV show," I discuss what the fuck is happening in my life right now - the shit that I'm feeling that makes no goddamn sense. But first, some backstory...

I've got this friend, right? One of my best friends. We interact with one another differently than I do with my other best friends. We're talking a lot over the course of a single day: checking in with one another, lamenting about some aspect of our day, discussing schoolwork, giving advice, or just planning to hang out. All normal friendship things, just at a higher frequency.

But also, we playfully flirt with one another. This isn't a new thing for me, personally. I've playfully flirted with a couple of my best friends before (the ones who I know won't be weirded out by it, the ones who might possibly reciprocate the playful flirting). And since my best friend this story is about has a girlfriend, that's where the problem comes in.

Because why am I flirting with someone who has a girlfriend, playfully or not? I know. It just happened one day and it's just escalated since the first time. Because my best friend reciprocates.

But I mean, I remind him that he has a girlfriend. I remind him that I'm not interested in him at all, even if he was single. It never goes sexual.

And I've met his girlfriend. I don't know if she likes me, but every interaction we've had has been friendly, even though there have been plenty of moments she could've sabotaged me or whispered in my ear that she hated me. We're friends on Snapchat, so that has to mean something, right?

And I like her. She's nice. But she's also kinda toxic, according to my best friend. They've been on and off many times in the past three years of their relationship. In the past few months, where she really began to hate my friendship with him, there have been more times where they've been off, more times where my best friend has strongly just considered ending the toxic cycle.

He knows I'd be there to support him only as a friend if he did. And yes, I think he should dump her, but not because I like him. Just because, as his friend, I want what's best for him.

But because of how toxic she is, we're hiding so many things about our friendship from her. The texting all the time, the flirting, I get why we have to hide it. My clinginess, I get it. I used to be the overly jealous and insecure partner. But at the same time, I've clung to her more the past couple times we've all hung out than I have to him, and yet she still complained to him that I was all over him. But whatever. I can keep her happy.

I don't have to text him when she's over at his house or they're hanging out. He's allowed to have a life outside of me. He's allowed to have a life with his girlfriend. It's literally not my problem.

I just hate that the way we go about it makes me feel like I'm just his dirty little secret. Like, unbeknownst to all of us, I'm the fucking side piece. and I'm not a fucking side piece. I've told him that. I would never allow that for myself. I'm not that desperate or stupid.

I'm not jealous of their relationship. I'm not jealous that I'm single. I'm not into my best friend. I'm not looking for a relationship. And yet, I still feel upset because I feel like a fucking dirty little secret, a fucking side piece. And even to keep this girl happy, I don't deserve to feel like that, right?

#my ramblings #personal #thoughts from last night #love #relationship #toxic relationship #friendship #flirting #things I'll never say #swearing #long post

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bluejaysfeathers · 3 years

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There’s something that has been on my mind for a while and it’s still not letting me sleep so I want to talk about it a little, and that’s the reasons that Twitch Partner X33N decided to ban me from his community. There’s a few things I want to clarify from the beginning. First, he is not obligated to be my friend, because that’s not how friendship works. If he feels that what I said to his moderator was a betrayal then, well, that’s not what I intended, but I quite literally cannot stop him. Second, this is not about what Karacorvus said. X33N has made it very clear that he doesn’t think her words were transphobic, and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. And finally, this is not me accusing him of being transphobic. I fully believe that he has always had good intentions toward the trans/nb community and he has been very apologetic in the past about his difficulty with they/them pronouns. People can not find things transphobic without being transphobes themselves.

So. Depending on where you want to get into it, this story begins two years ago, or a year and a half ago, or last summer, or a month ago. Frankly, thinking about the good times we had and the advice he gave me about my mental health just hurts right now, so I’ll skip over the details, but suffice it to say that this man knew some extremely personal things about me and I trusted him implicitly. Last summer, given the state of the world with the pandemic as well as his perfectly understandable personal stress, his streams shifted away from the focus on the community and mental health as he, in his own words, began to rely on streaming with others to make up the energy. At the time, I tried to bring it up to him and was essentially told that he wasn’t forcing me to watch, and that the focus was shifting due to his energy levels. Before that I had been a dedicated viewer of every stream I could catch, but after that I started skipping a few of the more obviously non-community-focused streams. Which brings us to the last-summer portion of the beginning of this story. I’m starting here because he seems to include it in his reasoning, and because it seems to have colored his view of everything I did since then, including an incident that involved several friends of mine who were not him. Essentially, after a while of seeing that nothing was changing, I messaged a moderator (whose last message to me before this had been “I never reveal my sources”) something along the lines of ‘do you think X33N would even notice if we all didn’t show up one night bc that’s what’s going to happen if he keeps this up.’ (I’m not going back through long deleted dms to find exact wordings). This moderator took my message to X33N without my knowledge. He messaged me, ostensibly to “check in” which made me happier than I care to remember, because at the time I had been struggling as had everyone, and it was nice to think that someone had noticed and cared enough to check on me. But alas, it turned out to be a secret test as to whether I would tell him what I’d said, and when I didn’t do so he viewed that as a betrayal and dishonest. It took some time and communication for that one as it felt like all the honesty I had given him was being tossed aside, but we did talk it out, and as far as I could tell, went back to a slightly bruised but recovering friendship.

This should lead into the aforementioned situation involving people that were not him, but at least one of them would be genuinely endangered by that situation becoming public so I will summarize it as drama, which a mutual friend mentioned to X33N and then brought his reaction to me. His reaction had seemed upset with me, so I reached out to apologize and X33N reassured me that he hadn’t been upset and just wanted to point out to the mutual friend that he knew what was going on. Cut to the next day (or the day after? My sense of time last year was... well, about where everyone’s was) and X33N was asking other mutual friends whether I was leading a conspiracy to get him to add me back on snap (this conspiracy was news to me but whatever) and accusing me of fomenting drama because... honestly this is one of those times where I don’t care to speculate on his motives, he said a lot of things very fast while I was tilted about the snapchat conspiracy and I don’t think I correctly grasped why he was upset with me, but I distinctly remember him bringing up the previous ‘betrayal.’ This was also when I stopped joining in the community among us games, which seemed fine by everyone involved.

All this apparently came to a head about a month(?) ago, when he, karacorvus, and some others were trying a new game. Kara said to one of the other streamers, a man who had seemed perfectly happy with his character model, would he please change his character to a man, etc. There was some uncomfortable laughter, Kara doubled down on her comments, a friend messaged me to tell me they had been uncomfortable with it as well, and I took the problem to a friend of mine who X33N had modded and who I trusted to handle the situation. This mod told me that I had not been the only one uncomfortable, and, when I said that I had been surprised to hear such comments on X33N’s stream pass unchallenged, replied by pointing out that Kara had a big community. I replied with something along the lines of ‘well... there was a time when that wouldn’t have mattered more than his allyship but I guess a lot has fucking changed with his priorities’ and the discussion moved on, seemingly productively, and ended on a friendly “thanks for bringing this to me/no thank you for taking it seriously,” and I didn’t think much more of it, although I did resolve to ask X33N about the whole well she has a big community comment the next day if he seemed in a decent mood. Maybe if I’d talked to him that night things would’ve gone differently, maybe my fate was sealed as soon as I was given the no-win statement of ‘she has a big community’ and put in the position of arguing with a mod or agreeing that X33N would change his mind on his statements of his community being welcoming to all in pursuit of someone else’s community. I’ll never know, I guess, because as I was saying goodnight to my friend X33N messaged me to tell me he was banning me over my pattern of betraying him behind his back. He kicked me from his server and had me blocked before I had even shaken off my shock and confusion- remember, at the time I had no idea what would trigger this, his last words to me had been ‘we totally good yo’ and my conversation with his moderator had seemingly ended amicably. It’s only now, after some very dear friends didn’t buy in to what he said about me in his discord (that I had been sowing discontent among “community memberS” about him “not making a stink” over “comments bluejay felt were insensitive”) that I am able to know that it was that part of that conversation that he was upset by. According to those who spoke with him, it’s not clear that he even knew I said what I did in reaction to his moderator claiming he would let transphobia slide because karacorvus has a big community, and I’m not sure I’ll ever know because the moderator I spoke to also blocked me. Which means that I lost two friends that night, not even counting the multiple people who believed his side of things from his discord without hearing me out. I can’t say that I blame them, I would’ve struggled to believe it myself.

There’s a part of me that still hopes X33N will realize that what I said was the best I could do in response to the situation I was given and reach out, but I kind of doubt it. I messaged him from an alt account, admittedly rather angrily, to ask that he at the very least correct what he said about me in his discord, and he had my alt banned from the server we’d had in common and seemed very sure of his position. As I said, he doesn’t have to be my friend, but I wish that he hadn’t taken such steps to harm my friendships with others from his community, and the fact that he has no obligation doesn’t stop me from missing the parts of our friendship that were good- I know I haven’t really laid them out here, but I was genuinely thankful for whatever power led me to him, and we did have good times. Both the serious mental health kinds and the playful friendly competition in beatsaber kinds, and many in between. I miss him and I hope he one day sees that his friends can bring up issues from his streams with his mods without it being a personal attack on their friendships. But most of all, I hope that by writing all this down it will stop bouncing around in my head.

#X33N #transphobia mention #ends of friendships #this man mattered to me more than I can express and I am a different person because I knew him #probably forgetting a tag sorry :(

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1055

surveys by lets-make-surveys

1 - Surveys aside, do you use Tumblr for any other reason? Not anymore. I used to have a main blog, but it’s been years since I opened it; this is it (excuse the bad word in the URL lol, I thought it made me look like an edgy teen) but as I got older I used it less and less frequently until I no longer remember the password to log back in. These days I stay on Tumblr precisely because no one really uses it anymore, so it’s the perfect spot to hide this blog in.

2 - Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Do you update them all regularly? Depends on what you mean by a lot; I have all the basic ones - Twitter, IG, Facebook, YouTube, hell I still even have my Snapchat alive lol but I haven’t used it in like three years. I use YouTube the most but I don’t update it per se, like I just use it to watch videos. Facebook I’ve used a lot less often since the breakup, but I’ve shared a handful of posts since September. I’m probably on Twitter the most, but even then my usage hasn’t been the same.

3 - Does it bother you when your socks don’t match? What about your underwear? I don’t care for either situation, especially for underwear. Why would I care about something no one is ever going to see and even think about?

4 - How many times a year do you go on vacation? Do you tend to go to the same places each time? My family plans at least two trips, at least in non-Covid circumstances. We will sometimes repeat provinces but we never repeat hotels or sites, and we seldom repeat cities. The only places I remember visiting more than once are Baguio, Tagaytay, Albay, Subic, and Baler.

5 - How many times did it take you to pass your driving test? Just one. I could not afford to fuck it up; I was at the LTO for 8 hours and was not willing to go through that shitty long wait, so I absolutely had to pass that exam and do my best with the shitty car I had to work with.

6 - When you’re in trouble, do your parents ever “middle name” you? Nah they never used my whole name. My mom’s trademark is to add an -ah sound to my name when I’ve done something wrong though, as in Robina lol. That’s a sign I should know I shouldn’t have done what I did, whatever it is.

7 - Which family member do you look like the most? Which one do you resemble the most in terms of personality? People are always shocked to hear my mom is actually my mom and not my sister, because 1) we look very much alike, and 2) she looks young for her age. As for my personality, I’d say I’m a perfect split of my mom and dad. I exhibit an equal amount of traits they both have and I can’t tell which one I act like more.

8 - Have you ever been arrested? Never.

9 - Do you prefer Apple or Android? Apple. Would rather pay more than be stuck with an interface, camera, and emojis that I personally don’t like.

10 - Does getting sweaty or dirty bother you at all? If so, has it ever put you off doing exercise? I don’t sweat a lot, so I really do hate it when I feel beads of sweat on my temples or when the back of my shirt starts to feel damp. It doesn’t have anything to do with my feelings about exercising; I don’t like working out, period.

11 - Have you ever broken a bone? What were the circumstances that led to this happening? Never happened, hope it never happens.

12 - If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be? I wish I didn’t get the hairy gene so that I didn’t have to shave too much; my hair to be a little livelier and bouncier; and my front teeth to be straighter.

13 - When was the last time your computer crashed or froze? is this something that happens often? It must’ve been around a month ago. It just got too busy, so it froze for a few seconds. My laptop’s a trooper and doesn’t crash/freeze a lot.

14 - Do you ever have problems with your sleep? It’s mid-sleep I’ve been having issues with; I get nightmares almost every night. I don’t have a problem falling asleep as I’m able to do so pretty quickly.

15 - What was the last thing you ate for breakfast? Is this a normal breakfast meal for you? Angel sent over a small box of chocolate chip cookies as a Christmas gift so I’ve been enjoying that :) I’m currently having it with warm coffee. My normal breakfast is no breakfast, so this is a treat for me. Before this I also had to eat my leftover Chapaghetti that I couldn’t finish last night.

16 - Have you ever thought about how you want to spend your retirement? That has not come to mind a lot, actually. I think more about death than I do my retirement...but this question tells me I should probably take a few steps back. I’d simply love to live in comfort with the person I end up growing old with. For now, that’s all I see myself wanting.

17 - When was the last time you got a new tattoo or piercing? Do you have any plans to get either in the future? A little less than 22 years ago; my mom had my ears pierced when I was a few months old. Haven’t gotten any new ones, nor tattoos, since. I’d love to have a couple of tattoos. Some of my ideas are two pawprints for each of my dogs, a plate of nachos, and lyrics that are personally meaningful.

18 - How would you describe your personality? Oof, what a loaded question. Hmm, I guess I’d generally label myself as hardened until I get close with someone? I’ve always kept a wall up and as friendly and extroverted as I can be, I don’t enjoy letting just anyone in. I value my personal and private space, and it’s important that I don’t lose it.

From another angle, I also like to keep doing nice things for other people, even at the expense of my own happiness and comfort. I have to keep making people happy to keep me pleased with myself and the world. Maybe it’s rooted in the fact that I’m the eldest daughter in an Asian family? Idrk, but all I know is that I’ve never had a problem putting other people first.

19 - Have you ever heard of “hygge”? is this something you enjoy or participate in at all? I have no idea what this is and I’ve never come across this word before.

20 - What colour was the last vehicle you travelled in? Does this vehicle belong to you or someone else? White. It’s the car that was given to me for college, but when all is said and done it’s not mine.

21 - Would you describe yourself as healthy? Why or why not? In some senses yes, in other senses no. I don’t exercise or actively watch my diet, and I certainly eat too much junk; so proactively speaking, I’m not super healthy. But generally, my gene pool has been pretty fortunate with health. Other than heart conditions that run in certain branches of the family, we’re relatively a healthy bunch.

22 - Would you describe yourself as messy or organised? Is this something you would like to change? It’s a balance of both. I’m very organized at work so I allow myself to let go in my personal space, like my closet and car. I do clean up from time to time and I still like my space to be neat, but I’m not as neurotic as I normally would be with my workspace.

23 - Do you miss anything about being a teenager? If you are a teenager, what’s your favourite thing about it? The innocence. It was a period of being ideal, being a dreamer, being as romantic about life as I wanted to be. It was also a period where you were allowed to make mistakes, because fucking up when you’re younger lets you off the hook. These are the biggest things I miss, but I don’t really find myself pining for my teenage days. I still like where I am, even if things are realistically a little duller in adulthood.

24 - Are you patriotic at all? Why/why not? No. It’s hard to be when your country is shit.

25 - Have you ever had to wear a white lab coat before? Was this in school or for a job? Yeah we had lab coats in Lab class in high school, but they were green. We also needed safety goggles, and if I remember correctly if we had neither of these things we had to sit outside and skip out on the session.

26 - Would you ever want to do the same career(s) as your parents? I can see myself going down somewhere in the secretarial path like my mom as I’m good at organizing things and keeping internal affairs in order, but I don’t know if I would find it fulfilling. But in general, I wouldn’t want to be in the hotel and restaurant industry. I don’t have any attachments to it and I’ve always felt like I belonged in media and communications.

27 - Do you believe in aliens? Is there a reason why (or why not)? Yes. For the most part, it’s more comforting to think and believe that we’re not the only beings around.

28 - Which animated film would you most like to live in? Does it have to be a film? I’d love to be in the Fairly OddParents universe and have fairy godparents of my own.

29 - When was the last time you got into an argument? Have you made up with that person yet? Gab. I don’t know. She’s ignoring me.

30 - What are you going to do now this survey is over? Take another one.

1 - Have you ever had your computer or e-mail hacked? Did anything bad happen as a result? No but I had bad viruses on all of my Windows laptops before. The worst virus I got involved my laptop typing out some long-ass Vietnamese paragraphs for me at the most random times. It was like a horror movie lmao. Every time I Googled the text I never got any leads from it, so I never knew what it meant or what the virus was.

2 - Do you prefer the company of people or animals? I don’t really have a preference when it comes to these two because their companionships are individually different. I like that animals can be playful and sweet; but I also like cracking jokes and having meaningful conversations with people.

3 - Are you a religious person? Were you raised in that faith or did you discover it a later date in life? I was born and raised Catholic, and still legally am. I never saw the appeal of the idea of being saved or of reading the Bible or anything that has to do with Christianity; and the idea of praying was weird to me even from childhood. A lot of Christians/Catholics I know are hypocrites anyway, and to me that says a lot about their mindset when it comes to religion.

4 - When was the last time you went to the beach? What did you do there? August 2019. My friends and I had a day trip to Nasugbu so we could have some fun before the semester started; we mostly swam and caught up with one another. August is a low season so we literally had the beach, the pool, and the poolside bar to ourselves.

5 - With all the COVID restrictions in place, would you feel happy/comfortable travelling abroad right now? Why/why not? I’d be happy, but not comfortable because of the swab test I would have to take hahaha. The selfish part of me is itching to go to other places already. I know my parents would put a million roadblocks to keep me from getting on a plane though, so me traveling is purely theoretical.

6 - How would you describe your dress sense? I like wearing flattering pieces but nothing too flashy or bright. I get items that are currently in style and make sure they match with the rest of my wardrobe, but at the end of the day I still like to blend in with the crowd and avoid neon colors, flashy labels, or whatever it is that would make me stand out.

7 - Do you wait until the sales start before you buy non-essential items? I never really pay attention to sales. It’s led to some pleasant surprises, like the other day when I was looking for a gift for my aunt. There was an H&M purse that caught my eye and it was so pretty, but way above my budget. I decided to get it anyway because that aunt throws amazing Christmas parties over the years and gives us lots of money, so I thought it could would be my way of giving back (especially since her company got hit hard by Covid). Once I got to the cashier the register showed it was like 60% off, even though there were no stickers on it and there was zero promotion anywhere in the store.

8 - What kind of milk do you prefer to drink (if you drink it at all)? I don’t drink milk, but I’m able to consume it in other dishes. I haven’t tried any types other than whole milk.

9 - Do you prefer blonde hair or brunette hair on your preferred sex? I don’t have preferences when it comes to hair color. We’re not really conditioned to consider this factor, since Filipinos have black hair.

10 - Would you be embarrassed to own the same clothing as one of your parents? No. I borrow stuff from my mom all the time. My sister also borrows some of my dad’s t-shirts, at least the ones that can fit her.

11 - When was the last time you wore some kind of fancy dress? Like...a gown? I’m not too sure. It must’ve been Alena’s debut three years ago since that’s the last fancy party I went to.

12 - Do you enjoy dressing up (ie. in suits or smart clothing)? When was the last time you did so? I like dressing up and making myself look cute, but dressing up formally not so much.

13 - What’s worse - being overdressed or underdressed? Personally, underdressed. I’d rather look too prepared than looking as if I didn’t care to look decent for whatever event I’m headed to.

14 - What do you think would be the worst thing about being stuck in solitary confinement? Not having any options or activities to do.

15 - Have you ever owned an unusual or exotic pet? Would you want to? Nope. I would not want to have one. Unusual pet is just a euphemism for animals that shouldn’t be pets.

16 - How old were you when you learned to tie your shoelaces? I was 5 and had to learn it for a test in kindergarten.

17 - Do you enjoy decorating for the holidays? Sure, it makes me feel festive :)

18 - Would you rather go into a restaurant or just go via the drive-through? These days it’s more wise to use the drive-thru, but to be frank I’ve missed dining in. I would opt for the restaurant but make sure to follow safety protocols in the area.

19 - Do you like having your teeth cleaned at the dentist? I’ve actually always found trips to the dentist soothing, even as a kid. The only time I ever really freaked out was when I went last year to have a tooth removed and I was told that I needed an anaesthesia shot on my gums; even then, I didn’t even feel anything when it finally happened.

20 - Have you ever had a gun drawn on you before? Maybe? My cousins and friends and I doodled on each other a lot as kids.

21 - When was the last time you went to a petting zoo? I’ve never been to one and idk if I can go to one.

22 - Do you bite your nails? Could you physically bite your toenails if you stretched enough? Sometimes I’ll gnaw at my nails and then scrape them off. I’ve found it more satisfying than biting them all the way off. I could definitely bite my toenails, but I choose not to.

23 - How old were you when you first started using Tumblr? Have you had the same blog all that time? It wasssssss 2010, so I was 11 at the time. Nah, I deactivated that blog only after a year of using it and then I shifted to a wrestling blog.

24 - Are you a fan of practical jokes? If I’m watching celebrities pull it on another celebrities, yeah. Most of the time I get anxious that the recipient would react negatively, so I don’t watch a lot of pranks.

25 - How many years older and younger than you would you consider dating? Is this a concrete thing or would you make an exception for the right person? It will still depend on the latter condition, of course; but theoretically I would like to keep seeing people my exact age. No more and no less than the year 1998. Growing up with relatives in such close age to me makes me feel like I’d be dating an older cousin if it was someone a year older, and my sister if it was someone a year younger.

26 - Who did you vote for in the last US elections? If you’re not in the US, who would you have voted for? I don’t live in the US; I would have voted for Biden.

27 - Are you a fan of reddit? What are some of your favourite subreddits? Sure. I don’t visit it as much as I used to, but I still go on there when I’m bored and in need of entertaining or educational content. r/AskReddit is a classic fave of mine, but I also go on r/interestingasfuck, r/todayilearned, r/mildlyinteresting, r/dataisbeautiful, r/SquaredCircle, and r/goodmythicalmorning. Sometimes I’ll visit the r/AmItheAsshole sub as well to have some fun lol.

28 - Have you ever watched those YouTube videos of people popping their own spots or zits? Do you find them gross or fascinating? Not those, but I’ve looked up earwax extractions and blackhead removals before.

29 - What’s a food you hated as a kid but love now? How about vice versa? Chicken curry is probably my best example because I’m obsessed with all kinds of curry now, whether it’s Indian butter chicken, Thai green curry, or Japanese curry. I didn’t understand the complex flavors as a kid, but I’m got to appreciate more and more as I got older.

30 - Do you prefer socks, shoes or going bare foot? Idk, I feel like all these choices are useful and convenient in their own different situations? I’m barefoot when I’m at home but put on socks when it’s chilly, and I wear shoes when I’m outdoors.

#survey #surveys

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penpalkingdom · 4 years

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Hi there, I’m Tori , I’m 24, from New Zealand, and I’m looking for friends :) I’m currently (and have been for the past few years) a university student, studying my masters in teaching english as a second language. I also have a masters degree in English, and a bachelors degree in sociology. As that shows, I have a lot of interests, and have a hard time deciding what I want to do with my life, because I really don’t want to settle down and do just one thing forever.

I’m the eternal ‘mom friend’, always looking out for people, and I’m happy to do it.

I love reading and writing, although I haven’t had time to read any books recently, my to-read list is just getting longer and longer. I also love watching movies and binge-watching tv shows.

I love food, I’ve been cooking since I was tall enough to see over the stove, and I’m pretty awesome at cooking and baking, if I say so myself.

I absolutely love music, most genres, although my most listened to styles would be k-pop, EDM, hip-hop, and R&B, although I still am partial to the rock and metal I listened to when I was a teenager.

Some of my other interests are: swimming, dinosaur documentaries, sociology, intersectional feminism, art (in any form), poetry (reading and writing), DOGS - well all animals really, the ocean, Harry Potter, cheesy YA novels, nature documentaries, aesthetic boards on pinterest, unrealistic hospital tv shows, learning about other cultures, studio ghibli films, dolphins, and coffee.

As I’m currently studying to be an English teacher overseas, I’d love to talk to someone who is wanting to learn English or practice their English skills! I’d be down to learn a language from you too.

To be honest, I’m looking for penpals because I don’t have that many friends at the moment, and I’ve been really lonely recently. I’m just at a stage in my life where it’s hard to meet people and become friends, and even harder to maintain those friendships - plus, my sister met her best friend through a penpal website, so I am kind of hoping that might happen to me. I consider myself an ambivert - sometimes I can be pretty introverted, but I can also be quite extroverted, it depends on the day, the people, and my mood!

I’m looking for: someone that enjoys the same interests as me, maybe recommend songs, tv shows, movies, books, food or other stuff to each other, that would be cool.

I would love to: have someone to talk to, exchange advice/memes, laugh and talk about life with, and just be there for each other. My sleep schedule is pretty messed up, so timezones don’t really matter. I’m always awake! Would love to learn about different cultures and languages!

I would prefer someone between the ages of 22-30, but I have no preference of gender, just don’t be a creepy perv! Also want someone who is LGBTQ+ friendly.

Would prefer an email penpal, at least at first. Once we get to know each other, I’d be happy to share Instagram, Snapchat, and other social medias, and maybe we can send some actual snail mail.

Also, Gemini INFP Slytherin :)

Best way to contact me would be via email, since I don’t really use tumblr that much anymore. betterthanfirewhiskey @ hotmail.com (without the spaces)

If you wanna see a photo of my face, there’s some on my tumblr seasoakedheart, I just attached a photo of my favourite scene in one of my favourite Studio Ghibli movies.

#penpal #electronic mail #online friends #internet friends #20-25 #25-30 #penpalkingdom #submission

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chaoticgeminate · 4 years

Text

Freedom

This is the third part of the Outfoxed Series, my Lila Salt series that I started on a whim and got a ton of notes and likes. This is the last bit following the main plot of the series, which is the exposure of Lila and the fallout of that exposure, but I may consider exploring other POV’s like I did with Mrs. Rossi in the side story ‘Shattered’ posted to AO3.

The link below is to the AO3 page of this story, if you don’t want to deal with the Read more button.

[AO3]

Lila's arrest sent shock waves through Collège François Dupont, from the sexual harassment charges to the truancy and even the unlawful photography, anyone associated with her on a friendly level was scrutinized and that meant the class of the former teacher Caline Bustier.

Thanks to the school board there had been numerous counselors and therapists on site, to combat potential akuma victims from the accusations and anger that were sure to be part of the fallout, with a new security system installed with no blank spots in any hallways or rooms. Excluding bathrooms, of course, but there were cameras above bathroom doors pointing straight down to track who entered and when.

Nino wasn't at all surprised when Adrien was transferred out of their class, his Father definitely blamed them for playing a part in the mess and the teen DJ couldn't fault him for once, it was easy to see from the glimpses in the halls that his best bud was happier than ever now. He had managed to apologize to both Adrien and Marinette, telling them he wasn't asking forgiveness but that he wanted them to know he now realized he screwed up and had to work on some things, the pair had thanked him and that had been it.

As much as he wanted to go back to how things were, when they were all together and Alya was scheming her plans to hook them up, Nino was more than aware that if he wanted them to trust him again it had to be on their terms and he was okay with that. He'd believed in Lila because Alya did, no matter how strange the stories sounded, his girlfriend always researched everything so if she wasn't questioning then he didn't have a reason to.

Or so he thought, but Alya wasn't perfect and he'd made a mistake by not questioning it himself, Nino had promised he would do and be better for himself and his girl as well as his friends.

Alya walked into the room late, sliding a note onto their teacher's desk, after her blow-up in the cafeteria at Adrien the school put her on mandatory counseling sessions. For as tenacious and driven as she was, something he admired, Alya was stubborn and quick-tempered; in this case, though, she refused to allow any blame on herself. Lila was the liar in this and Alya had been loyal, Marinette hadn't told her the whole truth, Adrien hadn't told her the whole truth; but it was still Alya that hadn't done her research or trusted her friend.

He slid a note onto her desk, a simple love poem he'd found, he wasn't ready to give up on her as a girlfriend and he knew that once she accepted she'd made a mistake that she'd do the right thing and at least apologize.

He was a sweetheart, someone truly amazing that was far too mature for his age, Nino's poem made her heart race even if she'd seen it on Juleka's facebook page two weeks earlier. For the first time in a long time she felt lighter, her pocket no longer weighed down with her cellphone, the device submitted for evidence for her own lawsuit against Lila.

Aya wasn't an idiot, she hadn't believed a damn thing Lila Rossi was putting out, but she was too quick tempered and had moved far too quickly against the Italian. Giving the new girl a chance to fess up had led to a rabbit hole of trouble, Lila hadn't even tried playing clean and as soon as she had her ammo it was over, Alya hadn't thought the girl would follow her around for months in secret while she'd supposedly been traveling.

Lila had gotten video proof of Alya sneaking around with Nino, steamy make-outs in fairly public (though not in the open) places while they were supposed to be babysitting, and worst of all she'd gotten a series of photos with Alya and Nino in a VERY compromising position in the school.

'All I want is your support, you don't have to believe me but you do have to make the others believe me, I won't tell anyone or show these otherwise.'

It sucked but Alya had danced to Lila's song and done what she asked without question, it would ruin her and Nino's records and their parents would have a meltdown, she expected Lila to eventually make a mistake after all and even if Alya supported her that didn't mean one of the others was trapped by her web. Alya had tried hard to support Marinette, Lila's chosen target she soon learned, but after the first attempt at getting the designer expelled had failed Lila wasn't giving any leeway.

The second attempt worked far too well, after Lila took the picture of the funeral right from Alya's phone, and the reporter found herself doing the unspeakable at Lila's behest. Every article had her in tears and the public backlash made her sick to her stomach, if she wasn't terrified of the result from Lila it might've been easier to delete the Ladyblog entirely, and finally it all drew to a close with Lila's arrest.

Finding out Adrien had known all along, that he'd just said nothing, had ignited a fire in Alya that she couldn't extinguish and she tore into him for his inaction; the entire time he could have done something, he could have saved her from her own ruin. But now, finally, Alya had come clean on every last detail to her parents and the school; her parents, as disappointed and hurt as they were, contacted the AGRESTE lawyers with their own evidence of blackmail to add to Lila's charges once they spoke with Officer Raincomprix.

Nino was still in the dark, though not for long since his parents were contacted too in regards to the nature of the pictures and video, and several people had said her intentions to protect her boyfriend were noble even if she had done wrong. But Alya had a long way to go in order to forgive herself before she'd ask forgiveness of anyone else, she started with hand-written letters to be mailed out to a lot of people, her phone and computer taken and she was under house arrest for quite a while per her parents.

Focusing on the board, as their teacher talked about their assignment for geography, Alya scribbled her notes as the rest tapped and typed away on their tablets.

"BREAKING REPORT

BLACKMAIL CHARGES CONFIRMED AGAINST LILA ROSSI

As of Wednesday, we have word that more charges are being added to the already extensive list for Lila Rossi. The Italian student, living in France on a VISA due to her mother's work, has already been accused of a long list of charges by both the Agreste family and the Dupain-Cheng family as well as the school board. Sexual harassment, truancy charges, unlawful photography, bullying a French citizen, and now there is evidence surfacing of blackmailing a French citizen.

The Césaire family have come forward with very serious evidence that indicates Alya Césaire, the founder of the Ladyblog, was being blackmailed by Lila Rossi the entire span of her time at Francios Dupont and during the period she was skipping classes. E-mails, text messages, and threatening messages through Facebook and Snapchat depict Rossi as having compromising photographs and videos of Césaire and her boyfriend that could result in their own criminal charges.

When we asked Otis Césaire his thoughts on the matter he had this to say:

"My daughter was wrong in her actions, I will not try and say she was only a victim because she could have come to us before this started and we would have helped her, but I am appalled that the school officials were so easily fooled and allowed a girl to come in and manipulate them so thoroughly. They were supposed to protect their students, regardless of how much money the families of those kids have, but I see that their concern was elsewhere."

Alya Césaire herself is being reviewed for her own criminal charges based on the content of the photographs that were found on Lila Rossi's devices and has asked that any charges that might be applied to her boyfriend be dropped as she was the primary instigator for each incident. The AGRESTE legal team is asking that any other students, parents, or parties victim to any schemes of Lila please step forward so that they can compile a full list of charges and get this case closed."

The voice of Nadja Chamak played softly in the background of the office as Mayor Armand D'Argencourt adjusted his tie and looked around the bleak space, it was only a matter of time before the school board pursued the Mayor for his own corruption and Andre had paid out a hefty sum to avoid prison before being removed from office, the new election had come and Armand had taken post over Madam Lauren Richards.

As one of the few teachers not involved with Rossi, aside from Physical Education, he hadn't been questioned much and even then he never once allowed her any special treatment; if she cited an injury he made her go to the nurse, any conditions she claimed he would ask Miss Kensington for proof and there never was any. But his claims and reports to Phineas had gone unanswered and blown aside, as any with Miss Bourgeios often had, his reports to the school board had been added to the Dupain-Cheng case as had Priscille's own reports.

A knock on the door made him clear his throat. "Come in." He left the office door open, unlike the Mayor had, the knocking was just a courtesy. His secretary, Monsieur Hemsley, held a stack of papers and folders.

"I'm afraid to say there is a lot more of this, sir, but this is the start of what Mayor Bourgeios cited as unnecessary for Paris." The man looked apologetic and Armand shook his head, accepting the stack of things with no ill-feelings.

It was a new challenge. "I want to start with everything from the past year, Thomas, I've no doubt there were plenty of things he ignored or blew out to keep his hotel running and himself in office." Finding the corruption was the first step, all the business owners with an in that were paying into the Bourgeios to keep themselves on top, Armand wasn't going to fail his family's post or his city.

He glanced at his calendar. "Remember to keep tomorrow afternoon clear, I've got fencing to teach at the Agreste manor after school hours tomorrow." Thomas nodded and went to bring the next batch of papers to him.

"It's been quiet."

Sitting on top of Notre Dame, legs swinging freely as the lights illuminated the dark city below, Chat couldn't help but hum in agreement to the soft statement his partner whispered. With Lila's arrest and the continual charges being brought forward against her, as well as the fallout from the students, he'd expected much more in the way of akuma. "It's worrying, as much as I don't want it to be." He wanted it to be a good sign that there hadn't been problems with Hawkmoth, he wanted it to be an indicator that they were due for some peace and quiet, but they couldn't relax.

Ladybug's eyes were focused on the light at the Town Hall where his fencing instructor, now Mayor, was working diligently through years of corruption from Chloe's father in office. "I've been talking with Tikki and the other Kwami, they all agree that something feels... off. We have a lot of theories but nothing concrete, if I wasn't so afraid to bring the Miracle Box out in public I'd have brought it tonight with me." He almost choked with how deep a breath he drew in, that was not at all what he'd expected.

"You want- but you're the Guardian. Why would my-"

"Your thoughts and opinions are always important to me, Chat, we're partners. You just have horrible timing to be a flirty tomcat as well as an issue with the word no."

He opened his mouth to argue but didn't, she was right, he had no valid excuse for his behavior in the past. "I, uh, you don't have to worry about that LB. I have a girlfriend, outside the mask I mean, I won't tell you her name but she's incredible and I'm really happy with her." Chat could feel her looking at him and her expression was soft, fond and friendly, love without the romantic aspect of it.

Such a familiar look and he didn't even know why. "I'm really happy for you, Chat, you deserve someone who brings you happiness." He felt his cheeks warm, Marinette made him more than happy, he felt loved and like he was home when he was by her side.

But his expression schooled into something playful as his partner looked away, her own face pink. "Oh, is that a blush? Thinking of your own special boy?" Her scowl was lacking any real anger or annoyance and it twisted into a bright grin.

"The boy I like, the one I told you about, he asked me out and we're together now." At one point that would have hurt him, made his chest ache, but it just indicated how incredible Marinette was that he didn't feel anything but happiness.

His mouth spit out the phrase before he could even stop it. "Oh? So, the Bug has her Boo? I guess when you're on a date you're Bugandboo?" Her squawk of outrage had him laughing as he got up to run, delighting in just being able to play, a few people who were still awake cheered him on while others admonished him playfully for irritating the heroine.

By the time patrol ended he was sporting a sore arm, a hoarse voice from laughing, and the annoyance of being filmed falling off a roof into a dumpster when one of Monsieur Ramirer's pigeons flew in his face. But it was a good night and he promised to keep his eyes open for trouble in the form of butterflies.

Marinette knocked and waited for an answer, meeting surprised expressions, her own lips a flat line. "Can I...?" The nod was gentle as Marlena hugged her, whispering an apology of her own, but Marinette didn't blame her at all. Nora's hug was more like a wrestling move, cracking a few joints too, the twins were subdued for once. Walking to the open door, since Alya wasn't allowed to have her room closed off at all, Marinette knocked on the frame.

"Just cleaning my- oh." Alya emerged from her mess of clothes, the closet's contents emptied on the floor and sorted into piles, her expression guarded but somehow open.

Before she could lose her nerve, the designer cleared her throat. "I'm angry at you, for not telling me the truth about what was going on and then attacking my parents when you could have come clean before it got that far, but I'm sorry that you were a victim to her schemes too. I can't forgive you, at least not right now, but I respect you for trying to protect Nino even if I was the sacrifice because I don't know if I would have done anything different in your situation." Alya's eyes were watering and Marinette knew she was close to crying too, she'd decided that she wasn't going to hold onto grudges or anger any longer and had spent the day visiting her former classmates.

Part of moving on was deciding what emotions to hold onto, Wayzz and Longg had helped her come to terms with her lingering doubts and hurt emotions, she refused to be chained by the betrayal and hurt more than she needed to be. "Thank you, I always could trust you to be honest with me, for what it's worth I am sorry that I hid the truth from you." Marinette nodded at Alya and her grip on the doorframe tightened a little.

There wasn't a lot to say between them. "I want to trust you again, Alya, you inspired me to be better and to stand up for what was right and in a weird way you tried to protect me and Nino. Please do better so I can have my best friend back." Marinette's eyes watered and Alya's tears slid down her cheeks as she nodded, the designer opened her arms and the hug was everything she expected when Alya nearly tackled her, but it was what they both needed.

After their impromptu cry session, monitored by Nora to watch for butterflies, the two students said their farewells. Sliding under her Papa's arm as she exited the building, he'd insisted on coming with her to visit her former classmates, Marinette wiped her eyes with the offered handkerchief. "Feel a little better, dumpling?" He had been skeptical of this whole thing but supported her choice to do it.

"Yea, Papa, I do. I really do."

"Good, I'm glad. Now, I know you like to make all your clothes and for good reason, I've got a secret assignment of my own. You see, your Maman and I agreed I would know just what sort of dress you need to take Adrien's breath away for your date tonight. So, dumpling, we're going shopping." Marinette wanted to be upset but it had been a long time since her parents ever got to buy her clothes, a really long time actually, so she didn't argue as he caught a bus to the shopping district for them.

But she had to admit she didn't expect some of the choices he handed her to try on. Marinette might have accused him of asking Gabriel for help if not for the fact that all of the choices were all colors her father knew she liked and not things that were considered complimentary to her skin tone. After trying on what felt like hundreds of dresses, even if it was only twenty according to Tikki, Marinette and her Papa found one they both liked.

Pale rose in color with a fit and flare shape, the bodice was solid color with very short sleeves made of the same georgette lace that covered the knee-length skirt, she felt really cute in it and it wasn't too short or revealing. Marinette had white, round-toe, heels that she could wear with it and wanted to wear her hair down with loose curls. Her Maman, on their return home, admitted that out of the two of her parents it was her Papa that had an artist's eye and had often picked all of the dresses that Sabine herself wore on their dates.

Marinette hadn't known, though she decided it wasn't that surprising given her Papa's decorative skill, but she was glad that her Papa was happy for her relationship. "You have two hours to get ready before Adrien gets here, dumpling." That made her rush up the stairs and hurry to get ready since this was their first unsupervised date.

'That boy needs his Dad. Not his Father, Gabriel, or his boss. Adrien needs you in his life and if you don't shape up then I will report every last shred of truth on how you break labor laws and pull him from school illegally for photoshoots.'

Leonard's threat had hung heavy between the two men since the initial stirrings against Lila, the black eye Gabriel had sported for two weeks had been hidden with make-up but the bodyguard hadn't feared repercussions or assault charges, as a parent Gabriel respected Leonard and as a friend he respected him even more for doing what he'd done. Watching his son smooth down the jacket of his suit, planning to take his girlfriend to a restaurant known for their private settings so they could avoid the spotlight for some time, Gabriel was proud of Adrien and knew now that he had missed quite a bit.

Leonard met his gaze as the teenager rambled about his nerves, Nathalie busy reassuring him that Marinette would be thrilled to bits, the very slightest of nods from the man expelled most of the tension. Gabriel handed Adrien something he'd kept for his son, for quite some time, a delicate silver chain with loops for charms waiting. "You are under no pressure to accept this, or do what I had done, but I know you're nervous and hope that maybe this will help you with your own ideas for Marinette." Adrien's eyes were just as curious and warm as Emilie's were, it was both heartbreaking and so very amazing.

"Emilie had a book that she bought, I gave her a single flower on every date, she would press the flowers to preserve them; this is the start of a charm bracelet, I think perhaps Marinette would like something she can wear as a reminder of your affections." It was a guess but the girl proved to be very affectionate, though not incredibly handsy in public and it was a trait he appreciated, with her own anxious tendencies it would be best to have something tangible she could carry. Adrien grinned and nodded, looking at the time on his watch.

A smile on his face and a tight hug, Gabriel was nearly bowled over with the strength in his son's sudden motion, Adrien thanked him with a teary smile. "I already have plenty of ideas, thank you so much Dad!" Gabriel managed to hold off until Adrien left but the moment he was gone the tears started, it had been so long since he heard that title, Nathalie's hum was soft and Gabriel appreciated her quiet comfort. After a moment or two, managing to calm himself down, the man looked at Nooroo as the Kwami peeked out from behind the hall.

"Nooroo, if I were to give you back your Miraculous would you be able to find the Guardian?" The Butterfly hesitated but nodded, looking miserable to even admit that much. Gabriel removed the brooch and Nathalie only nodded as she took Duusu's brooch too, the two Kwami accepted them back with curious looks. "Nooroo and Duusu, I release you to be free and return to the Guardian. I am truly sorry that I allowed my grief to blind me to what I was losing and led me to abusing you as I had." The Butterfly Kwami offered a wavering smile, gratitude visible on his face as Duusu fluttered about energetically.

The Kwami nuzzled him. "I knew you were a good man, Gabriel, you just lost your way for a little bit. Thank you for setting me free." The two Kwami disappeared through the door and Nathalie followed him to what once was his lair, the butterflies and cocoons had disappeared, leaving just an empty garden and the glass chamber. Emilie had been embalmed in private, following her death, which was the reason she was in the state she was in now. Nathalie left him then to give him time to say goodbye, for the last time, Gabriel had no more tears to give and only apologized for losing his way.

"I will always cherish what we had, Emilie, I will never forget you; but I won't disappoint you any longer, I cannot allow myself to cling to us and continue to put Adrien in danger or push him away." As he placed his hand on the top of the glass, chest heaving with a deep breath, he contacted the burial company that had done the embalming. They hadn't thought much of his basement being a mausoleum of sorts, it was not new to plenty of the upper-class, once he activated the tinting on the coffin it looked just like any other.

Within the hour his wife was buried in her family plot, with the rest of the Graham de Vanily, and Gabriel gave himself the night to grieve. Free of the burden of the brooch, the burden of being chained to the past, and free to pursue a future beside his son once more.

Sabine laughed as Tom and Gabriel battled, with Adrien and Marinette on their date the two had contacted him and agreed to have him over, Leonard and Nathalie were on either side of her nursing hot drinks and their own chuckles. Having the man request to learn how to play Ultimate Mecha Strike had been a shock but he admitted that he wanted to be able to play with Adrien, he didn't know what his son was really fond of doing and needed a gateway of sorts, Sabine hadn't been able to help hugging the poor man and promising to help.

Watching him now, as he grunted with his hair free of styling products for once, she could tell there was something a little different about him this time; he ran another hand through his hair as he got locked into an animation sequence as Tom's mech unleashed a combo. "Take that you old pincushion." In the past she might have been worried but Gabriel never ceased to surprise her.

"Keep talking, you stale cream puff, once I figure this game out I'm going to make you eat those words." Gabriel was competitive, not that she was surprised by that, fashion was a cutthroat industry; but he wasn't to the point that he was a sore loser. In fact he appeared to be having fun and it warmed her to see a man trying to do better, especially after subjecting his son to harassment by that horrid little liar, Sabine glanced at her phone as it chimed.

Marinette and Adrien had both sent a picture, an adorable selfie of the two of them at the theater, they had done dinner and Adrien had gotten tickets for them to see Wicked together since it was currently playing. "The kids just reached the theater." Earning two non-committal sounds from the men, once again not surprised, the woman responded with a 'have fun' before leading Nathalie to the kitchen as Leonard continued to read his comic books.

"I've never seen him this relaxed, your family is quite amazing."

Sabine met the woman's gaze and smiled. "I like to think so too, shall we prepare some light snacks?" Nathalie nodded and Sabine was pretty happy to relay the ongoing news that Nadja learned from the interviews and messages flooding TVi.

“You mean-“

“I think he’s found it more important to prioritize what he has over what he’s lost.”

Chat Noir was quiet as Nooroo sat in his hands, Duusu perched on Ladybug’s shoulder quietly, the two Kwami had appeared in Ladybug’s room and she’d called him the following evening in order to give them time to rest. “I don’t understand why he’d do what he chose to, though I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same since I don’t know how I’d react, but I guess I’m glad he’s decided enough is enough.” Ladybug heard the sigh as she leaned on her partner’s arm, her own face wet with tears, she had taken one look at the tome that the two had brought with her and knew exactly where they came from.

Something she’d have to tell Chat Noir, she trusted him and didn’t want to keep him in the dark, but she knew how hard he’d taken it when she theorized her idol and boyfriend’s father as Hawkmoth the first time around. “I know who he was, these two coming to me only confirmed it, I am going to respect his request for a second chance. For me to have this make sense, Chat, you’ll have to know that I was one of Caline Bustier’s students at Collège François Dupont.” His eyes widened and he held out a hand for a moment, silencing her, then he cupped her chin and made her look at him.

Ladybug didn’t know what he was looking for. “Princess?” The hope in his voice sent a touch of warmth through her, making her throat tighten as she licked her lips.

“Mhm.”

Words escaped her then as she waited for his reaction, his pupils blowing wide and round, her heart thundering as her hands started to shake. She felt vulnerable and exposed, weightless as his silence kept her teetering on the edge of delight or misery, a part of her theorized who he was ever since Chat Blanc and she needed to be right. His mouth curved into a wide smile and his eyes glistened as green formed around him, leaving Adrien in his place, she’d never been happier to be right. “It’s you! It’s always been you! No wonder you’ve been wearing gray and pink a lot, you sneaky little bug mouse.” His weight crashed into her as she dismissed her own transformation and Tikki giggled above her as Plagg rolled his eyes, her mouth meeting Adrien’s in a frantic kiss.

Once they both laughed over how badly they had danced around each other, with promises to tell each other everything, Marinette knew it was time to finish what she’d been saying. “They brought me a book too, Adrien, the book Lila stole from you that got you pulled from school.” Adrien’s arms tightened on her waist and she squeezed his body a little, to remind him she was here with him, but there wasn’t any sort of anger on his face.

A weak acceptance, exhaustion, maybe some hope. “You want to give him a second chance?” Marinette nodded and cupped his cheek.

“I think we can do that, now that we know the truth, Chaton; he deserves that much, he’s been trying hard to be there for you.” He was learning how to play video games, the two were taking cooking lessons, Marinette had seen him at every photoshoot and he promised dinners with her family every other week as well as an appearance at the Parent’s Dinner the school was having for this year’s graduation award presentation.

Adrien’s eyes watered. “Thank you, Bugaboo.” He kissed her again and she giggled.

“I told you to stop calling me Bugaboo, Chaton, I like Princess more.” His eyes twinkled and he nodded as he cradled her close. “I’m glad though because I thought I liked two boys, I’m really happy it’s just one.” His chuckle into her collar made her giggle.

But he had a warm mischief in his gaze when he let her go. “Isn’t Chaton a little telling, I’m sure Aurore will connect the spots quickly.” Marinette poked his nose with a wink.

“I’ll just have to call you mon Chevalier.” He flushed and she transformed with a grin. “But, for now, I have to go to bed; I have school and I recall being promised fancy coffee and a wake-up kiss.” He tried to shout after her but she swung away with a whoop. The real surprise came nearly half-an-hour later, after a shower and changing, when her Maman said she had company.

Adrien had an overnight bag and a grin as he joined her in her room, the door left open per her parent’s request, they snuggled under her comforter and she cuddled Plagg as the cat Kwami snuggled against her neck. “A cat could get used to this, I’m moving in too Sugarcube.” Tikki’s giggle made Adrien hum as he agreed softly, cradling her close to him as Marinette felt her eyelids droop.

“So what now? No Hawkmoth or Mayura, you have all the Miraculous, just patrol and stop petty crime?”

Marinette grinned. “We learn how to be Guardians, not all threats are corrupt holders, I think there might be something bigger on the horizon now that the circle is closed again.” Adrien hummed as he nodded against her head, promising to study hard, sleep drawing them in and peace making it easy to feel at ease.

#chaoticwrites #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #sabine cheng #tom dupain #supportive gabriel agreste #gabriel agreste

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