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#but like. she is the only person who I talk to outside of work
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I’ve been fired exactly once in my life. In my early twenties I was working at a pizza place. The pizzas were artisanal, thin crust and personal. They’re a huge chain now but when I first started the company was in its infancy. It was the wild west of management, and the core investors would frequently stop by to check on things. One of these people was this round little man with rage issues. A knock off Danny Devito with no charisma at all.
His favorite thing to do was to come in on a Friday or Saturday night. We'd be at our stations: taking orders, making pizza, manning the oven, finishing orders off, running the cash register. He'd shove his way onto the line and start rearranging people. "You, get off orders and work the cash register, you come over and make the pizzas!" With a line of customers snaking out the door he'd throw off all our grooves and rattle us.
Then, inevitably, a mistake would happen.
When it did he'd call the person over and say, "Hey c'mere. You're fired." Just like that. No inflection, just a flat "You're fired." It was absolutely a power kink, and because of his involvement the average turn over was three months. You were a veteran at five months.
One night there was only three of us manning the front. I took an order than went to the cash register to ring them out before I made the pizza. This horrible man watched that then called me into the back. I didn't know if I was about to be fired. But I wasn't. In fact, he had one other move besides firing people. He yelled.
In the back he absolutely lost his mind screaming at me for being on the cash register. I'm talking veins popping, spit flying, red with rage, this man just started bellowing nonsensically about where I should be and how I was just such a failure. It was truly like his brain had shut off, nothing he was saying even made sense. I stood there in the face of this tirade for a minute and then set a record for being the first person to ever cut him short by bursting into tears.
He instantly stopped yelling and it was like Jekyll and Hyde. He was remorseful and consoling, deeply embarrassed by my display of emotion. All my male coworkers just took the abuse but faced with my weeping he about faced and instantly backed off. I went outside to cry and when I came back in he pretended it had never happened.
That was the state of things. The investors knew they desperately needed to keep this man out of the stores, but they couldn't just give him the boot. They needed to move him aside and fill his position with someone. The store manager was this lovely woman who had hired me on the spot at my interview. The entire staff adored her. She was the best fit to get this roided out investor out of the stores for good.
Her replacement was this man called Anthony. He was instantly loathed by the entire staff. Condescending, critical, and lazy he started off his reign by letting go a core lead who "back talked." He spent a whole morning berating the opening crew because the closing crew (who had sold 100 more pizzas than we were even supposed to have on hand) had forgotten to windex the doors. He left the entire crew to close without him while he flirted with a girl who wasn't his pregnant girlfriend. He hired his roommate to replace the lead he fired and even that guy hated his guts.
Our antipathy toward him made him paranoid and resentful and one by one he started finding excuses to fire the whole staff, certain that if he could clean house he'd be able to do the job. My time came, and he sat me down with his boss, my former manager. She cried as he announced I wasn't personable enough and used too many pepperonis.
I looked at her, the woman who had trained me on how many pepperoni to use, but she said nothing. What could she say? He was the boss now and had determined I was going to be let go regardless. Too many in this case was seven. Seven pepperonis on a personal pizza. The correct number was five according to him, which is one pepperoni per slice, and one in the middle.
I sat there for a moment, taking it in. I smiled at my old manager, obviously miserable. I looked back at him and said, "You're a terrible manager, you're doing the worst imaginable job." I outlined some of the things he'd done so she could hear them, then I stood up and left. I made it to the back room before I started crying.
I found out later through a bus boy that he replaced the whole staff with college kids who had such limited availability that the store couldn't run, then quit three months later leaving the whole place in shambles. Most of the old staff returned, but I'd moved onto the sex shop already and was enjoying a job with significantly less risk of being fired on a whim.
However I do have to disclose on job applications if I've ever been fired. I always says yes and list the reason as, "Excessive use of pepperoni." It has never failed to get a laugh from my interviewer.
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latteandjacks · 3 days
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Anyways using a short to tell us more about Millie is actually the best direction they could take tbh
This post contains spoilers from Hell's Belles
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Millie doesn't need a very deep story, she doesn't need heartbreaking angsty events or some childhood trauma to be interesting and this short was the proof The only thing we needed was Millie being shown as more than just "Moxxie's wife" or "IMP's best killer" We just needed her bonding with her sister, having fun and calmly talking through their issues
That's another thing, I love how telling is that both of them are good at communicating their feelings, because of how HB is I was expecting this to be some "Two parts short" with it ending with Sallie leaving Millie after telling her how she felt, but since they were raised in emotionally healthy environments, they're able to just talk and realize where things went wrong, Millie explains herself while also accepting that she hasn't visited as often as she would like and will try to visit more often, also tells Sallie that she could visit more as well
Also Moxxie not only not questioning why they are beaten up (he knows who he married and who his family-in-law are) but also not interrupting them and just silently walking to their room and leave them to have fun together, is nice to have Moxxie being shown as understanding and not trying to get involved or trying to impress Sallie, he just leaves them be
Why was a short the best way to tell us more about Millie? Because Millie doesn't have a hard time resolving her problems, the reason why Unhappy Campers took so long was Moxxie, because he sucks at communicating SPECIALLY after reviving a traumatic experience with his father, the moment he actually lets it out, she doesn't have a problem expressing how she feels and is just rightfully upset, but she was quick to see how Moxxie tried to fix his mistake and understood that he felt sorry
Short stories like this are what fit Millie perfectly, just showing who she is outside of work and outside of Moxxie, a girl that loves her family, wants to have fun, dance, play games and beat the shit out of the people she cares about that can also beat the shit out of her for the funsies, but also a mature person that can accept when she's wrong and is good at talking
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buckleyx · 1 day
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Hear me out! Eddie Diaz x reader who swears she isn’t good with kids and is a big “I don’t want kids! I hate babies!” Kinda person but secretly loves kids so much and is so good with them like she honestly gets along with kids better than adults
BABY FEVER E.D
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the gif i used is not mine! all credit goes to the owner! @cafecitoeddie
Author’s note: I love this request so much bc I'm secretly the same hehe !
Eddie Diaz x GenderNeutral!reader
Warnings: drunk eddie and reader hehe
masterlist
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"Oh come on." Eddie whined playfully. A smirk tugged his lips as his hands danced around your waist. His chin rested on top of your shoulder as he peppered your neck in soft short kisses.
It was a beautiful summer evening and to celebrate the warm weather Maddie and Chimney invited everyone over for drinks and BBQ. The atmosphere was peaceful and everyone felt so relaxed. Kids ran around the yard as adults indulged in laughter and conversation. Moments like these you cherished with all your heart.
You noticed Eddie's eyes on you from across the table as you helped Jee-Yun with cutting up her food. Your smile unintentionally grew wider with every laugh and babble she blurted out to you.
After dinner, while everyone was still chatting away but the sun disappeared more and more in darkness, the garden was lit by beautiful garden lights and candles. Jee-Yun's head rested against your chest as you indulged further in conversation. Her eyelids became heavier as she tightly grabbed the plushie you gifted her earlier closer to her body. As you were chatting with your friends you looked up at Eddie who was talking with Buck and Chimney. He paid no mind to their conversation, only having eyes on you. He took a chug from his beer before giving you a soft smile. He was standing next to the fire pit, the sparks made his eyes shimmer.
All these years you convinced yourself and others you were terrible with kids. But now you felt caught, by your own actions, as the toddler on your lap softly snored away.
As the evening continued and it was getting more late, children were safely tucked away in bed and everyone snuggled closer to the warmth of the fire pit with beers in hand, you and Eddie managed to escape the coziness just for a second. You found each other in the kitchen, getting more drinks to continue the party outside.
As soon as you entered the dimly lit house his hands were all over you. You were both pretty drunk and you knew Eddie long enough to know he could get very touchy when intoxicated. And that's what brought you here. To this moment and conversation.
"Eddie, we talked about this." You giggled as his stubble tickled your neck. "I'm not good with kids."
"Come on baby, we both know that's a lie." He said, slightly tilting his head to prove his point. His hand still rested on your hip as the other one traced his fingers over your jaw. "You are honestly, and I mean honestly," He cupped your face, gently tilting your head so you could look at him. "One of the most beautiful and kindest people I have ever met. And I am sure that every kid will agree." Eddie smiled softly, his eyes filled with love as he looked at you.
Your eyes felt glossy after his words. No one has ever shown you so much love as him. You closed your eyes before taking a deep breath, a loving smile appearing on your lips. "I really love you Diaz, you know that right?"
"Hmh, I had a suspicion." He joked before pulling you in for a kiss.
My requests are open! :)
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bit-dodgy-innit · 1 day
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We're Not Here to F*ck Spiders
Summary: You were the oldest Spider-Girl the society had ever encountered, therefore, Miguel took a special interest in you. He wanted to know if your life would correspond with his and the other Spiders’ canon, or whether you had a completely different canon you were forging on your own. After an offhanded comment about reviewing your canon with Miguel outside of headquarters, your relationship with Spider-Man 2099 is forever changed.
Set in between ITSV and ATSV.
Pairing: Marc x OC Female!Reader
For context, Reader is an alternate, grown-up version of Mayday due to personal reasons (personal reasons being I’ve been obsessed with Mayday Parker since I was baby child)! No real use of Y/N, though Miguel does refer to the reader as "May" twice and Peter Parker nicknamed her Mayhem. Peter B.'s daughter is Mayday.
Word Count: 10.2k words (see why this took me forever?!)
Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI!!
CW/TW: An obscene amount of world-building, parents and kids fighting, mentions of a loss of a child, everyone being hot for Miguel, rough-ish sex (both partners are superheroes, come on), our boy is HUNG, dirty talk, a bit of cocky dom!Miguel, oral f!receiving, a lil bit of both m and f!receiving nipple play, PIV sex, riding, a quick spank, creampie, felching, and perhaps most intense of all, Miguel’s fear of commitment.
A/N: hahahahahaha this movie is nearly a year old and I FINALLY got around to writing a fic for it! Trust that I've been working on this on and off for a while now, but life has been nuts and writing more and more for work (yay!) but wanted to get this out while I had a slow week for everyone to enjoy!
Also, due to more personal reasons, my HC for Reader's parents are Peter and Mary Jane from Sam Raimi's masterpiece in 2002. But no presh if that doesn't jibe with ya!
I MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THIS FIC AND I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD OF ANYTHING
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“Careful, Mayday!” you fondly called after the child who was literally bouncing off the cavernous walls of HQ. Yeesh, were you this energetic when you were her age? Probably. It never ceased to be weird, hanging out with an alternate baby version of yourself, but you could manage if you pretended she was your little niece, or sister, or something like that. 
The alternate baby version of Mayday Parker in question didn’t heed your admonishment at all (which tracked), so you called again, “Oh noooo…I’m gonna have to come up there and get ya!”
Mayday squealed in delight at your “threat” and only zipped around quicker. However, you had a couple decades on her, so your reflexes were more attuned. It didn’t take long for you to capture her in your grasp and tickle her. However, little Mayday wasn’t going to give up that easily. She squirmed out of your hold and began scaling the nearby wall at a dizzying pace. 
“Okay, missy, let’s settle down,” you announced, shooting a web to meet the infant on the platform she’d crawled onto. You continued to speak as you swung, “you know how Miguel is, we can’t get too carried…away.”
You nearly threw yourself back off the platform when you were met with the sight of Miguel himself standing before you holding May. 
“Oh, hi,” you gestured to the squirming girl in his hands, “thanks. I was right behind her.” 
“What am I like?” He asked, an inquisitive arch in his brow. 
“You’re…you run a tight ship that’s all,” you wished a portal would swallow you whole. “And it’s great! We need it.”
“Are you supposed to be anywhere?” Miguel prodded further as he passed you May. 
“Me? No, it's my day off.”
“Then why are you here?” 
“Because you put Peter B. on a mission and it gives me anxiety when he takes her.” 
“You and me both,” he huffed. 
“That being said, anything I can help you with?”
“Yeah actually, I have new sequencing to go over with you.” 
Though the multiverse was ever-expanding, you were the oldest Spider-Girl the society had ever encountered, therefore, Miguel had taken a special interest in you. Since you were a second generation Spider, Miguel wanted to know if your life would correspond with his, your dad’s, and the other Spiders’ canon, or whether you had a completely different canon you were forging on your own. You initially found the whole concept fascinating, yet that interest waned pretty quickly when Miguel informed you that he was going to have Lyla analyze your entire life and have you expound on your experiences so he could compare you to the other Spiders. 
Not that there was anything you were particularly ashamed of, but some of this stuff was embarrassing. Unlike baby Mayday, whose powers had already emerged, yours didn’t make an appearance until puberty. Reviewing your awkward teen years wasn’t exactly your ideal way of spending time with an unfairly hot guy, let alone the head of Spider Society.  
“Oh okay, yeah,” you replied. “When Peter gets ba—“
“MAYDAY! WHERE’S MY PUMPKIN?” Peter’s voice echoed across the room. 
No sooner had Peter spoken did Mayday websling herself off of the platform and into her father’s arms. 
Shit, there went your excuse. A nervous chuckle escaped you, “Convenient.” 
“Sí. Follow me.”
You did as Miguel said and trailed behind him to his…office didn’t quite describe it. Work station? Lair? You lasted all of forty-five seconds before your gaze dropped to his sculpted backside, a new record for you. 
It really was unfair that the intense, ornery leader of the Spider Society had to be so damn fine. You were a superhero and a consummate professional, but at the end of the day, you were a mostly heterosexual human woman with eyes. Miguel was stupidly sexy. His shoulder-to-waist ratio, that chiseled face, and of course, perfectly round ass had been the topic of a few hushed, giggly conversations between you and the other Spiders that liked boys. 
It was only ever cheeky whispers however. All of you knew better than to catch any real feelings for Miguel. One, it was majorly inappropriate. And two, he’d built emotional walls higher than the tallest skyscrapers in Nueva York. 
Still, your mind couldn’t help but wander every now and then…you blamed it on your latest breakup. Spider-Girl duties had yet again claimed another potential partner. You suspected that was the reason it was more and more difficult not to fantasize about Miguel lately. Like sure, he was probably an animal in bed in the best way, but it was the prospect of not having to hide anything from him that appealed to you even more. 
“Lyla, bring up the latest sequencing,” Miguel ordered. 
If it weren’t for your spider-senses, you would’ve collided with his impossibly cut back, you were so deep into your thirsty thoughts. 
Suddenly, you were back on Earth-982A in your childhood bedroom. Or at least, that’s where you appeared to be. The virtual surroundings would’ve been comforting if it weren’t for the particular event that Miguel had wanted to revisit. 
Your father was forbidding you to use your powers. Again. You gazed at the rendering of your teenage self with compassion. Now, your father was fully supportive of you following in his footsteps, but the journey there had been rough. 
“You know, most parents would be happy if their kid wanted to do something to help the world!” 
Your dad scoffed. “That doesn’t matter - I’m not most parents and you’re not most kids!”
“Yeah and whose fault is that?!” Virtual you fired back. “I was born like this because of you! Dad, you’re always telling me that ‘with great power, comes great responsibility’ and now when I discover I inherited that great power, I can’t use it!?” 
“Pause,” Miguel’s voice spooked you back into the present. When you finally shook yourself from the memory that was playing before you, you found his eyes on yours. “Okay, there. Define ‘always’.”
“Quantitatively?” 
“Preferably.” 
“That’s impossible.” 
“Qualitatively, then.” 
“I mean, it's one of those things he said so much that I can’t remember the first time I heard it.” 
“When did your dad first hear it?” 
“His Uncle Ben told him during their last conversation together.” 
“Checks out. And how old was he?” 
“He was a senior in high school, so like seventeen, eighteen?” 
Miguel nodded. Even though x-ray vision nor telepathy weren’t in your powerset, you could practically see all the comparisons and calculations he was making in his head. 
“So using your powers to help people, that was your instinct when you inherited your abilities.”
“Yeah.” 
Miguel nodded again. 
“It’s different, isn’t it?” you asked him. He didn’t reply. “My dad told me he entered some god awful cage-match-wrestling-thing to get enough money to buy a car and impress my mom before he officially became Spider-Man.” 
Miguel was seemingly too busy with entering his latest data to respond. Instead, he barked at Lyla, “Resume sequence.” 
The holographic version of your dad lurched back to life to argue, “May, you are my great responsibility! So if I say no powers, no powers! I did this a lot longer than you! ” 
Tears streamed down your adolescent face. Thankfully, you’d lost some of the baby fat since.  “I hate you! I HATE YOU DAD!!” 
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. This wasn’t easy to live, let alone re-live. So, as a Spider, naturally you made a jaunty, off-handed comment. “Wow, you really know how to show a girl a good time.” 
“Qué?” 
“Nothing.” He fixed you with his signature scowl so you elaborated, “Seriously, nothing. Though, maybe if we did this in an environment where I had access to alcohol and carbs, this would be less um…less unsettling for me.”
Miguel stared at you blankly. “But the simulator is here.”
“Right, of course.” Ughhhh, why was he so damn pretty?! “Forget I said anything, Miguel.” 
He dropped it, but before the simulation could start again, your gizmo beeped. Benji’s basketball game started in twenty. 
“Actually, sorry, I have to go.” 
“But we just got started.” 
“I know, but I haven’t been able to catch one of my little brother’s games yet this season, and it’s almost the playoffs.”
“Won’t he under–”
You interrupted Miguel. “You realize spider-stuff is not a viable excuse with my family, right? Besides, it’s my day off. I’m only here out of the goodness of my own heart and my commitment to the Spider-Society.” 
He rolled his eyes at your remark, but couldn’t help a little half - nay, quarter - smile from forming across the lips you had fantasized about kissing one too many times. “Things are quiet for once. We should knock this out now.” 
“We should,” you conceded as you created a portal, “but trying to have some semblance of work-life balance is Spider-Girl canon.”
And with that, you hopped back into your world, before you could change your mind or say anything else stupid and/or unintentionally flirty to Miguel. 
You re-appeared in your apartment with just enough time to throw on clothes and swing over to the middle school. Your mom was waiting as you hurried into the gym right as Benji and the other players were taking the court. 
“Look who made it,” MJ observed wryly. 
“Ha ha,” you fired back humorlessly, but pulled your mom into a hug all the same. “Where’s Dad?”
The ref’s whistle signaled tip off and the beginning of the game, momentarily distracting you two. You were thrilled to see Benji starting – he really wanted to make JV when he started high school next year, and this was a step in the right direction. 
“Go Benji!!” MJ cheered before answering your question, “He hit traffic coming from the station. He’ll be here soon.” 
Your collective attention was pulled to the game unfolding in front of you, then MJ asked, “What have you been up to today?” 
“Me? I was at the society for a bit, helping with the baby.”
You didn’t need to see your mother to know that she tensed at the mention of the Spider-Society and Peter B.’s Mayday. It, understandably, weirded her out. 
“How can it not be strange to care for–”
“It would be if we were closer in age,” you pointed out. “But it’s just like babysitting with Mayday right now. And trust me, after all the versions of Dad I’ve met, hanging out with little me is nothing.” 
Despite being weirded out, your mom always tried to empathize, so she switched gears. “Anything interesting happen?” 
“Ugh, just more sequencing with Miguel - today was a tough one.”
“Why?”
“Fights with Dad from years ago that I know we��ve moved past, but still suck to watch.” 
Your mom took your hand in hers, a much-needed grounding gesture. “Well, you’re back in the present, in your corner of the universe now, sweetie.” 
You gave her hand an appreciative squeeze and took her words to heart, focusing on the basketball game in front of you. It didn’t take too long to put the earlier events from headquarters behind you – Benji scored a couple baskets and you took it upon yourself to meticulously document the game on your phone for memories and possible future blackmail. 
When your Dad did join you and MJ, you couldn’t help but hug him tightly. You buried your face into his coat, which smelled like a mix of smoke from the streets and his aftershave. 
It was Peter’s mix of spider and paternal instincts that prompted him to ask, “Everything okay?” 
“Yeah,” you assured him, giving him some space. “I just–I love you, Dad.” 
“Love you too, Mayhem.” Where Mayday was Peter B’s moniker for his daughter, Mayhem was your dad’s nickname for you.
The game ended in victory for Benji’s team, the Midtown Mavericks, and you three waited for the youngest member of the Parker family to emerge from the locker room. 
Benji’s face when he saw you made any lingering discomfort you had leaving Miguel one thousand percent worth it. “You made it!” 
“Wouldn’t miss it!” you pulled Benji into a hug - however reluctant he was to it since he was a ~teenager~ now. “Dude, you put up points tonight!” 
But Benji had gotten distracted, so instead of responding to you, he murmured “Woah, that guy is swole.” 
You turned around to see who he was talking about and your jaw nearly hit the floor. 
It was Miguel. 
Even more incredibly, he was in civilian clothes. It wasn’t until you witnessed him in dark wash jeans, a henley, and a well-worn bomber jacket that you realized that you’d actually never seen Miguel in anything other than his spider suit. 
He called your name and you acknowledged him with a wave, flabbergasted. Even more astonished that you knew this very attractive hunk of man was your brother, “Wait, you know him?!”
“We work together,” you said quietly. 
“At the paper?” Benji was confused. 
“No, at my other job.” 
“Oh,” it clicked for him. “That makes sense. Man, I hope I get that jacked when I get my powers.” 
“Shhhh, be cool Benji,” you urged him. 
“Um, I’m not the one you have to worry about,” he harrumphed. “Oh shit, you like him.”
Though there was more than a decade between you and Benji, your little brother was still your little brother.  “No! He’s the head of the Spider-Society and he’s–you’ll see.” 
You took a step forward to greet Miguel before anyone else from your family could get to him. “Hey! What’re you doing here?” 
“I wanted to finish our work today, and since it’s your day off, I decided to come to you.” 
“Miguel O’Hara making a compromise? How not canon. Wonder how big of a hole that’s gonna tear in the multiverse.” 
“Shut up,” he ordered you playfully. 
“Miguel, good to see you!” Your dad strode over and pulled the younger spider-man into a handshake. 
“You too, Dr. Parker.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how oddly deferential Miguel was with your dad. He’d met Peter first, when he was establishing the Arachnohumanoid Polymultiverse. Miguel was stunned to discover that this Peter was not only retired, but had a full-grown daughter who’d taken up his crime-fighting mantle. Apparently your dad’s canon was particularly important and central to the greater Spiderverse, which meant Miguel would pester you with questions about him constantly. 
“Is everything okay?” Peter asked, “You don’t usually make house calls.” 
Before Miguel could explain, an elbow nearly sent you into careening into his broad chest. Mom. 
“Miguel, this is my mom, Mary Jane.” 
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Parker,” Miguel dutifully offered his hand to her. 
“The pleasure is mine,” your mom gushed, “I’ve heard so much about you.” 
Benji was right. He was not the person you had to be worried about. A rip in the multiverse to swallow you whole would be rather convenient right about now. 
Miguel’s brow creased. “You have?”
“She hasn’t,” you intervened. “Like two or three things in passing, max. Promise I haven’t broken my NDA or you know, the superhero code of secrecy or anything.” 
Mercifully, Miguel let it slide for the time being. He turned to your brother. “And you must be Benji.” 
“Yeah,” Benji confirmed, doing a terrible job of pitching his voice lower. “‘Sup, bro.” 
Jesus Christ. At this point, you were ready to rip the fabric of reality yourself to end this. 
“Congrats on the win. Hate to do this, but I need to steal your sister for a bit.” 
“No problem, I know she’s fine with it.” Perhaps Benji needed a reminder regarding which sibling had the super powers. “Also, what’s your workout–”
“Well, as fun as this all is, we should probably get back to work.”
Your family didn’t put up much of a fight – thank God – as pleasantries were exchanged and you and Miguel took off. You hoped Miguel didn’t catch when your mother mouthed “So handsome!!” to you as everyone said their goodbyes. Finally, it was just the two of you walking down East 36th Street. 
“Sorry about them,” you began. 
He looked at you, puzzled. “Why?” 
“My family. Embarrassing.” 
“They’re not embarrassing. They’re…they’re nice,” there was pain behind Miguel’s eyes. “It’s interesting. Your brother hasn’t experienced any spider-abilities, has he?” 
“No,” you confirmed. “Not yet.”
You two slowed to stop on the corner. Miguel looked at you expectantly. “So, where to?”
“What do you mean?” 
“You said you wanted to do this in an environment where you ‘had access to alcohol and carbs’.” 
“Oh! Right. Hmmm, where are we?” you looked up at the cross streets above you. “36th and 3rd? I know a place.” 
You took Miguel to a little hole-in-the-wall Italian spot nearby. Since it was so close to Benji’s school and your old middle and high school, you had spent many a week night at their tables, either working on homework or chowing down after basketball practice. 
Therefore, the staff knew you – it was a family owned spot, you’d basically grown up with the owner’s children, Maria and Chris. Though you graduated from Midtown Charter a looong time ago, they still took care of you. Maria had even let you use their first aid kit once, no questions asked, after a nasty Spider-Girl skirmish nearby. You didn’t suspect she knew anything, but even if she did, you could trust Maria to be discreet. 
At least, you thought you could trust Maria, but when she showed you and Miguel to your table, and Miguel made a pit stop at the restroom, she very indiscreetly asked, “Daaaamn, girl. He your boyfriend? Because you–”
“No!”
“You getting dicked down by him?” 
“No!” 
“Can I get dicked down by him? He single? Does he like the ladies?” 
“Maria, he’s a colleague. Actually, he’s my superior. So no…unfortunately, no.” 
Maria cackled with delight. “That’s a pen worth sticking in your company ink. I’ll bring you some garlic bread.”
“And a glass of red wine,” you added. “no, a bottle.”
“That’s my girl!” 
In theory, you had thought that reviewing sequencing outside of headquarters would’ve been less awkward, but in reality, it was more so. You couldn’t stop drinking in the sight of Miguel in normal clothes, the intimacy of having a meal together when usually your interactions were so sterile and professional, plus there was a little voice in your head screaming that THIS WAS BASICALLY A DATE on repeat.
“So should we pick up where we left off?” Miguel asked. The question brought you back down to Earth. Despite that little persistent voice in your head oohing and ahhing at him, it was clear that Miguel didn’t think this was a date. This dinner was a means to end, nothing more. 
“Let me get a little wine drunk first,” you bargained. 
“Yeah, but you have sped-up metabolism, so that’ll take at least–” 
“That was a joke. Miguel, when was the last time you went out to dinner?” 
He seemed to truly consider the question, then, “I don’t know.” 
You’d never heard Miguel say those three words in that order before. 
“I promise you I will go over my cringe teen years with you, but can we eat some garlic bread and not get drunk off this very nice bottle of wine first?” 
“You’re worse than Lyla,” his eyes narrowed. 
“I’m sorry, what?” 
“She’s always trying to get me to take breaks.”
“You should! There’s only so much self-flagellation a human can take, even if they’re a superhero.” 
Miguel’s response was a very inarticulate grumble. Maria dropped off the wine, bread, and took your order. You didn’t know what was more insane – the amount of food Miguel ordered or how unabashedly Maria was ogling him. 
“Let me guess, Lyla’s the one who suggested the field trip to my home dimension?”
Another grumble, this one in the affirmative. 
“Classic,” you remarked with a snort before taking a gulp from your glass. “I love that your AI is smarter than you.” 
“Of course she is, she can access all of the multiverse’s knowledge in a nano-second.’
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?” 
“Can we not talk about me for a second?” 
“Why?” 
“Because…because, I don't know, I was hoping doing this in a more casual environment would–it’d make it feel more like a conversation.” 
“We are having a conversation.” 
“Jeez, Miguel,” you took another sip of wine. “It’s not easy digging through my past like this. A lot of the time it feels more like an interrogation.” 
“Ah.” 
“Yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I want to help you, help the Spider-Society, but the one-sidedness of this is exhausting.”
“Exhausting.” He sounded dubious. 
“You know what? Forget it. I’ll take care of the bill and see you tomorrow, and we can go back to reviewing the sequencing like we normally do. I should know better than to complain to you.” 
Miguel looked at you if your words had stung him. “You can complain to me.” 
“No, I can’t,” you disputed. “You’re the most self-sacrificing Spider out of any of us–which is really saying something, by the way–and I feel lame talking about my feelings with you.”
“And that’s why our reviews feel like interrogations,” he was putting it together. 
“Yeah. Sorry to drag you out of HQ.”
Miguel scrutinized you with a long, unreadable look before announcing, “I’m not leaving before I have my bolognese.”
You didn’t know whether to smile or scream. Miguel may have lacked the traditional spidey precognitive sense, and the signature spider sense of humor, but he definitely had the stubbornness you all seemed to possess. 
You shot him a sidelong glare. “Why did you come here?” 
“I told you - I wanted to finish sequencing and Lyla suggested coming to you.” 
“But you didn’t have to take her suggestion.”
Miguel’s large frame shifted in the chair that suddenly appeared too small for him. “Like you said, she’s smarter than me, so I did. And yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve gone out to dinner.”
You didn’t know how to react to that. Right before the silence became intolerable, Miguel spoke again, “You still with that gu–’
“No.” The last thing you wanted to talk about with Miguel was your failed relationship with Gene, and you’d once discussed the correlation of getting your first period could’ve had with your powers emerging with him.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I mean, you get it.”
Miguel at last took a sip from his glass. “All too well.” 
“The price of being a hero, right?” you sent him a small, sympathetic smile across the table. “Or at least that’s what I tell myself.” 
“Your parents seemed to have figured it out,” he pointed out. 
“Well, that took like decades, and according to you, they’re canon, right? So it was meant to be. I guess that’s one of the comforts of having a canon-confirmed soulmate.” 
“Yeah, if you're Peter Parker.” 
Your heart sank at the implication. “So that means if a Spider isn’t Peter we’re meant to die alone?” 
“I don’t know,” Miguel’s eyes were averted. “Maybe only if you’re a Miguel O’Hara.” 
“Stop, you could get anyone in this restaurant to sleep with you,” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Our waitress has to resist climbing on top of you whenever she passes the table.”
He swatted away the implication as if it were a pest. “That’s different.”
“You know, it might help with the stress.”
“What?”
“Letting someone climb on top of you.”
Miguel glared at you, “Don’t.”
“See? It’s not fun being on the other side of the questions,” you smirked. Your conversation was briefly suspended when Maria returned with your entrees. After thanking her, you refocused back on Miguel, “Can I ask you something else?”
“No.”
“DADA!” A child, who couldn’t have been more than three, screeched happily from a neighboring table. 
Miguel froze. For the first time in the several months that you’d known him, you saw his face soften. The warmth that filled his eyes at the sight of the toddler was undeniable. The fond expression hardened back into his stoic facade within an instant, yet Miguel couldn’t fully conceal the anguish that clearly still haunted him. He never could. 
“Sorry,” you said softly. 
He shook off your condolences. “What’d you want to ask me?” 
“Have you tried seeing anyone after…” it felt forbidden to say Gabriella’s name out loud. 
“What’s the point?” Miguel shrugged. “I don’t have the time, even if I wanted to.” 
“Right,” you hedged. 
Eventually, you and Miguel were able to find things to talk about outside of work and your respective traumas. You compared notes on the lamest villain you’d each encountered rounding up anomalies, discussed the idea of a nursery for spider-babies, or as Miguel insisted on calling them, “second-generation Spiders” – Peter couldn’t keep taking his kid on missions, plus Jessica Drew had just learned she was expecting – you even got Miguel to open up about his teenage days some. 
“Makes sense you were a rebel,” you chuckled, taking one last bite of the tiramisu Maria insisted was on the house.  
“Yeah? Why?” Miguel prodded.
“Because you-re so uptigh–upstanding now.” 
You were treated to another rare grin from Miguel, this time a half smile rather than a quarter. “Nice save.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you contended with put-on innocence. 
“Yeah, yeah, I don’t always like what I have to do, you know.” 
Your gaze locked directly with his for a breath-taking second, his eyes garnets in the low light of the dining room. “We should get going, I've taken you away from headquarters for long enough.” 
“You act like I’ve never left HQ before, and if anything, I took you away from your family,” Miguel parried, yet stood up nonetheless. You followed suit, only mildly disappointed he didn’t argue with you about leaving. As awkward as this dinner initially was, you’d actually ended up enjoying it. “I’ll take you home.”
Miguel’s words stopped you in your tracks, “You know I’m the protector of this city, right?” 
“Obviously, I—” he huffed as you waved goodbye to Maria and exited back onto the street. “Mierda May, I’m trying to be a gentleman here.”
Oh. Oh. Did Miguel think this was a date too? Date was too strong of a word – did Miguel think this was a not-entirely-work-related-hang too? 
You struggled to keep your face blasé. “Ah, okay. We taking the subway or are we swinging?” 
Miguel shot you a look as if the choice was obvious, which is how you found yourself traipsing across the city with Spider-Man 2099. You’d traveled by web plenty of times with Miguel before on missions, but there was something about it being the two of you, in your city, that made it feel just a little bit special. 
And to be honest, you’d never get enough of watching Miguel’s body hurtle through the air – despite his bulk and brawn, he was agile and lithe as he swung from building to building with you. You nearly plunged into traffic on Sixth Avenue after your thoughts had wandered to what those bulging muscles looked like unencumbered by that skin-tight suit of his. 
When you arrived at your apartment in Morningside Heights, you were suddenly self-conscious. You’d never brought a Spider to your residence, and Miguel was likely the hardest to impress of them all. 
He studied your modest one-bedroom with the same intensity as he did his screens at the Spider-Society. 
“It’s not much, I know,” you began, “and with Spider-Girl stuff, I don’t have the time to keep it as tidy as I'd like to.”
“It’s perfect,” he mumbled before catching himself. “I mean, it’s perfect for you.” 
“Yeah, I don’t need much, but it gets good light during the day and was the highest floor I could afford at my price point,” you removed your mask as you babbled on. 
“Makes sense,” Miguel nodded. 
You had no idea where to go from there – what on Earth was the man playing at? Should you offer him water, another drink, the best spot to portal back to HQ? He was lingering in your space, seemingly fascinated by the framed prints on your walls, the photos on the coffee table and credenza. 
“Um, do you need to use the restroom or something? Because it’s right through there,” you motioned to the appropriate door. 
“I’m good for now.”
THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? You hollered in your head. Externally, you kept playing hostess, “Let me get you a glass of water then–”
Yet Miguel caught your wrist before you could retreat into your tiny, galley kitchen. You weren’t proud of how your heart leapt and your breath hitched at the contact. 
“Shouldn’t you be getting back?” 
He shrugged, “I should, but–”
“But what?” 
“I’ve been thinking about what you said…about letting someone climb on top of me.” 
You gulped, “Sorry, that was so inappropriate of me–”
“It was. Inappropriate, that is, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea,” he tugged you closer to him. You could barely stand to meet his eyes, alight with desire, while your heart was pounding embarrassingly fast. 
“Um, judging by the–uh, do you want me to climb on top of you, Miguel?” you were always so much smoother in your daydreams about him. 
His lips hovered dangerously near yours. “Do you want to climb on top of me?” 
The closer you got to Miguel, the faster your brain turned to scrambled eggs. His large, sure hands had settled on your hips. 
“Uh huh,” was the best you could muster before he crashed your lips together. 
Miguel’s kiss was searing and all-consuming – it felt as if the longer your mouths moved against each other, the more your body melted into his. He was tall, so tall, and even for a superhero like yourself, it was difficult to keep yourself perched on the balls of your feet to reach his skilled, hungry mouth. 
He seemed to sense your struggle, and without breaking your liplock, he scooped you up into his arms. It was foreign but not unwelcome – you were so used to being the strongest, the person who held others, the hero. Therefore, being held so effortlessly in Miguel’s arms was nothing short of exhilarating. You weren’t the strongest person in the room anymore, you could surrender. You loved it.
Miguel pressed your back into the nearest wall, causing an emphatic moan to leave you when your hips became flush with his. You could already feel him – hot, hard, and big – between the flimsy fabric of your spider-suits. Instinctually, you canted your heat against his, delighting in the way he seemed to grow hotter, harder, not to mention unbelievably bigger, when you did. 
“Bedroom?” he gasped between harsh, ardent kisses. 
You managed to fling a hand in the correct direction, and next thing you knew, Miguel was depositing you onto your bed. You propped yourself up, leaning back on your palms to take in the man towering over you at the edge of your bed. In a flash of color and light, his suit disappeared from his strapping physique, and the sight of Miguel naked intoxicated you more than alcohol ever could. 
His shoulders seemed even broader without the unstable particles of his suit covering them. His pecs were massive, which made a delectable ratio when his chest tapered down to a chiseled abdomen and slim hips. Slim hips that framed the biggest cock you’d seen outside of porn – hell, maybe even including porn. He was long and thick – it made a dark thrill race down your spine when you contemplated how the hell that was going to fit inside of you. 
Miguel noticed you marveling at his package, misinterpreting the rapacious glint in your eye as unease, “I’ll prep you, I won’t hurt you.” 
“Oh, I’m not worried” you glanced back up at his face coquettishly. 
“No?” Miguel cocked an eyebrow and advanced toward you on the bed, a jaguar stalking its prey. He nudged you onto your back and pinned your wrists to your comforter, “maybe you should be.” 
You muscled out of Miguel’s grip and switched positions so you were straddling him. Only then did you lean closer and whisper into his ear, “I can take it.” 
Miguel growled, and within an instant, you were on your back once again as he pawed at your suit. Unlike his costume, your spider-suit was made of plain old fabric, so there was a bit of fumbling, cursing in Spanish, nervous giggling, and a mumbled comment about ‘making you a suit like mine’ from Miguel before you were nude as well. 
He splayed you out against your mattress as if you were a feast before him. Your first instinct was to try and cover yourself but Miguel’s dark gaze froze you. A pleased groan rumbled from his chest and then his large hands flew to your breasts. “Such full, perky tits.”
You moaned in response to his ministrations. How was this real? You and Miguel were touching each other – naked – and you hadn’t woken up yet. 
“It’s all for you,” you mewled, relishing his hot palms on your sensitive buds. 
Another growl ripped from his chest before he swooped down and sucked one of your nipples into his warm, wanting mouth. You keened, a pathetic, high-pitched sound, and you wove your fingers into his dark locks as he gorged himself on your tits. 
The pull of Miguel’s mouth on your peaks was made only better when he snaked a hand between your legs and ran a finger along the seam of your sex. You bucked at the touch, your reaction causing Miguel to lift his head from your bosom. 
“Mmmm, you like it when I play with your pussy, cariño?”
At this point words had all but left you so you nodded and whined in the affirmative. Miguel’s digit parted your folds, tracing up and down, then found your clit and rubbed slow, tortuous circles into the nub. 
“So wet for me, bebita,” he observed, maddeningly casually, while he played you like an instrument. “This is all for me, huh?”
Your head thrashed back and forth on your comforter with a sob, both from pleasure and bashfulness. Now there was no downplaying how horny Miguel made you. 
“Shhh,” he cooed at you, taking one of your hands and bringing it to his groin, “feel what you do to me.”
This time your moan was unabashed as your hand circled around his girth. “Fuck, you’re so big.” 
“I know,” he grunted. Normally, such braggadocio from a man would be an immediate turn off to you. But Miguel wasn’t being arrogant, not when he was referring to the thick, pulsing hardness you were currently caressing. “Gotta get you ready for me.”  
He guided your hand away from his member, even despite your protests, to wrench your thighs wider and bury his head between them. The realization alone that Miguel O’Hara was about to eat you out almost made you come, yet actually feeling his tongue on your needy cunt was infinitely better. He licked a stripe from your perineum to your clit, tearing another ragged moan from you when his tongue focused in on the bundle of nerves. 
Miguel chuckled against your folds at your enthusiastic praise and redoubled his efforts. Your fingers reflexively tangled in his inky locks once again as he continued his delectable assault on your pussy. The way Miguel tasted you matched with how he seemed to approach everything – he was vehement and determined to bring you pleasure like how he was when he worked. He managed to just stay on the right side of rough as he slurped at you..though perhaps that was a bit different than how he fought.
He speared his tongue into your hole, affording you the opportunity to grind your clit against his prominent nose. In your pleasure-filled haze, you briefly fretted that you were suffocating Miguel, but when you tried to scooch away and give him some air, the man grunted and pulled your hips closer to him.
You keened again when one of his thick fingers joined the fray as he prepped you. After all the sexual tension, all the self-denial, and all the excitement the night had held, it felt so good to clench around something. He was again methodical with his preparation, allowing you to adjust to one digit before adding another, and another. It couldn’t have made a starker contrast with how he was devouring your sex. Even in the bedroom, Miguel O’Hara was full of contradictions. It didn’t take long for your breaths to become more shallow, for your cries to reach a higher pitch as you climaxed around his hefty fingers. The combination of the penetration and the stimulation of your clit with his mouth was too good to resist. 
You were slightly relieved that Miguel remained nestled between your legs while you rode out your peak. The orgasm he’d given you was much too good to be able to control your facial expressions. 
He at last came up for air once you’d begun floating down from your peak. A primal pride surged through you at the sight of your juices smeared all over his lips and chin. You couldn’t help but smash your mouths together, eager to sample the combination you two made. It was all too easy to get lost in a kiss with Miguel, yet as you plundered his mouth with your tongue, your hand crept back down his groin. 
This time it was Miguel who moaned into your mouth as you returned him to full mast with feather-light, teasing touches. 
“I need to fuck you,” he gasped between kisses. 
“Finally,” you bantered back. 
A growl from Miguel and then he tackled you back flat on the bed. You couldn’t help the giggle – partly from nerves, partly from anticipation – that escaped you at his actions, despite the visage of a hulking, intimidating man hovering over you could be frightening in another context. 
“Do you have protection?” 
You hesitated. You kept a box of condoms in your bedside drawer, but given Miguel’s size, they’d be inadequate. 
“None that would fit you,” you confessed, stealing another glance at his large erection. It was truly a sight to behold. Miguel deflated slightly, fearing penetration was off the table, and usually it would be. You were firmly a two methods of contraception girl, but there was no way you were going to pass up this chance to have sex with Miguel. “Don’t worry Spidey, I’m on the pill.” 
“Gracias a Dios,” he muttered, then wasted no time situating himself between your hips. He drew yet another mewl from you when he slapped the tip of his cock a few times on your clit before lining himself up with your entrance. 
He found you looking at him expectantly. And though Miguel mostly saw desire in your eyes, he could see the glimpse of unease too. He assured you, “I’ll go slow.” 
You nodded, you trusted him after all, but nothing could prepare you for the stretch of when Miguel finally pushed into you. Just the tip was already splitting you apart more than Gene, or any former lover for that matter, ever had. 
“Breathe,” Miguel rasped. You couldn’t tell if he was advising you or himself though. It struck you then that you’d perhaps achieved the damn-near impossible – disarming the notoriously closed-off Miguel O’Hara. He looked beautiful, biting his plush lower lip as he slowly rocked more and more of his huge cock inside of you. 
Your back arched off the mattress of the sensation of being progressively speared on the monster that Miguel called a dick. It was too much and not enough all at once, and your fingers dug into your comforter below you. He tried to distract you from any potential pain, Miguel’s index finger returning to your barely-recovered clit. 
“That’s it, open up for me,” he husked. Your head swam at the mix of his enormous manhood stretching you to your limit and his tender, in-control tone. The realization hit you harder than a punch from an anomaly. In that moment, fear skittered down your throat and pooled into your stomach, resting right above where you two were joined. He’s going to ruin me for other men, isn’t he? 
You couldn’t think any further since not only was Miguel fully seated within you, he had asked you a question. Your eyes glassy and pupils blown, found his, and he repeated himself. “You okay? Can-can I move?”
“Yes,” you gasped. In case your breath affirmation left any room for doubt, you added, “please.”
Another grunt from your lover and Miguel at last began to thrust into you. Your arms flew from the bed to his impossibly wide shoulders, your nails digging into the caramel, taut skin there. You couldn’t tell exactly when it’d happened, lost in the deliciously lewd sounds you were making between the slap of your bodies, your labored breaths, and his determined staccato grunts while Miguel railed you, but your hips had begun to meet his. 
“M-more Miguel,” you urged him as you dragged your fingertips down the expanse of his back. Each of your hands grabbed a fistful of that glorious ass and squeezed to drive home your point. 
“You sure?” 
You moaned. It was as if he couldn’t give it to you hard or faster enough. You used your grip on the globes of his perfect rear to try and force him to increase to the pace and force you needed him to fuck you at. 
Miguel laughed. A dark and stirring sound that made you involuntarily tighten around his girthy length. “Alright bebita, but remember…you asked for this.” 
His words ignited something defiant within you. You pulled Miguel’s head from where it had fallen into the crook of your neck so you could look him in the eyes when you said, “I’m not some pillow princess from Nueva. I’m just as strong as you are, I can go just as hard you can, and I want you to fuck me.” 
Your lover’s eyes darkened at your demand. The growl that ripped from his throat was your only warning before Miguel unleashed the full force of his strength on you. You keened in pleasure as he all but drove you through your bedframe and the wall behind it. Miguel captured your wrists once more and restrained you against the mattress as he absolutely pounded into your pussy. 
His drilling drew another ecstatic cry from your mouth. Miguel glared down at you, his eyes nearly crazed, his face barely lit in the ambient light from the street. It truly was infuriating to you how beautiful this man was. You watched his brow furrowed in concentration – not on his stupid screens for once – and his dark hair shift in time with his thrusts.  Your features contorted in pleasure when Miguel switched from drilling into you to swiveling his hips to stuff you with his cock. His movements were deliberate and slow, he was trying to get as deep inside of you as he could. You almost went cross-eyed at the feel of his bulbous cockhead punching against your cervix. 
The criminal undulations of his hips extracted a little yip from you each time he pistoned into you. He grinned down at you wolfishly. Equal parts indignation and arousal bloomed within you. Also, was the first time you'd ever seen Miguel smile? Not a little half-smirk or a humorless quirk of his lips, but an unabashed smile?
“Want me to back off?” 
Oh, there was no way you were going to take that lying down. Even if Miguel’s pubic bone was perfectly grinding into your clit. 
You let out a growl of your own and summoned all the power in your core muscles to wrestle Miguel back and claim the high ground. Out of breath when you found yourself seated on Miguel’s dick, his large, muscled body prone beneath you, you braced yourself on his rippled abdomen.
“Is the itsy-bitsy Spider-Girl gonna ride my cock?” he taunted you. If Miguel didn’t wear that arrogant, playful smirk so well, you would’ve wiped it from his lips. 
You slid your hands up the length of his chest and leaned over, your face hovering over his. “That depends. Can 2099 handle it?” 
Miguel answered you with an impatient buck of his hips up into your sex. You giggled as you straightened up again, tweaking one of Miguel's nipples as you went. You relished the little shudder it sent through him. “Alright, but remember baby, you asked for this.”
He snorted out a laugh, which you quickly silenced once you began riding Miguel like the stud he was. “Hnnn–shock, bebita.”
“Ah,” you sighed as you bounced on his prick. Before sleeping with Miguel, you had assumed the term “feeling him in your guts” was hyperbole. Not with him. “Fuck, you’re even bigger like this.” 
A large hand traced its way up one of your thighs, now lightly covered with a sheen of sweat, past your sex, split apart by his shaft, to where Miguel’s manhood made the slightest bulge in your lower belly. His smile became wider and even cockier. “It’s good, no?”
You gave him a nonverbal, but enthusiastic, reply. He smacked your ass in satisfaction, “Yeah c’mon, cariño, ride me. Wanna watch your tits bounce.” 
You officially hated Miguel and his big, thick, perfectly sized cock. Where as with other partners you’d smack them right back with a zinger, all you could do was moan again. His naughty, domineering words did nothing but excite you. There was something about him and the way he fucked that made you incapable of doing little else than enthusiastically submitting to him. You leaned back, your fingers clutching onto Miguel’s thick thighs to stability as you changed angles and gave him a better view of your breasts jiggling in time with your motions. 
“Ay, sí bebita,” Miguel’s hands flew to your hips to intensify the frantic mashing of your bodies together, “Ven aquí.”
He gathered your torso in his hulking arms and pulled you closer so that he could coax a breast into his mouth again as you rode him. 
“You gonna come for me Miguel?” you panted.  
“No,” he sounded as winded as you were. “Not yet.”
You clenched around him and snickered. “Are you sure?” 
“¡Coño!” Miguel snarled at the feel of your already blistering, tight pussy suffocating his dick further. “¡No más – basta de esto!”
The vision of your bedroom swam when Miguel lifted you off his pulsing member and dropped you back on your stomach onto the mattress facing the foot of the bed.. You could hear him shifting behind you, and you blindly groped for the lower metal railing of your bedframe’s footboard, only vaguely aware what was to come. 
A grunt from Miguel, and the next thing you knew one of your pillows was stuffed under your lower belly and his massive hands were back on either side of your hips. Your lover didn’t give you any notice before shoving his fat erection back inside of your already tender pussy. 
You shouted at the feeling of his cock stuffing you to the brim once again. Miguel’s hands appeared above your head where you held on for dear life as he impaled you on his prick.
“Ahhh!” you clamored, desperately trying to pull enough air in your lungs to function as Miguel squatted behind you. “I’ve never been so full! Oh God, Miguel, it’s so much…so much…”
Miguel responded with a pleased growl, and merely rammed into you harder. You were peripherally aware of the clanging of the pieces of your metal bed frame clanging together in protest at the vigor of your and Miguel’s coupling, but there were too many sensations overwhelming you at once to focus on one in particular. Not even when the metal groaned and the angle Miguel fucked you at changed did you pay attention to what was actually happening. You merely pushed back onto his cock as much as you could, your fingertips scrabbling into the folds of your comforter. 
Your eyes screwed shut at the barrage of stimuli - the unrelenting stretch of Miguel’s hardness,  his harsh but steadying grip on your hips, the light scratch of fabric beneath you on your skin, the little puff of warmth on the back of your neck from Miguel’s labored exhalations. You were sure this was better than any high any drug could provide. You hadn’t tried many, not even Rapture, and but nothing could top being thoroughly fucked into your mattress by Miguel O’Hara.
Miguel’s dogged grunts morphed into shouts when he at last found his release, spurting rope after rope of hot, creamy cum into your welcoming cunt. You found yourself crying out along with him as he emptied his load, your walls bearing down around his length as you both rode out his high. Miguel flooded your pussy with his seed and before you could even try to adjust to the feeling, he withdrew his cock from you, tearing a quite pathetic-sounding whimper from your mouth. 
Miguel pulled your ass cheeks apart to examine your stretched, puffy pussy leaking his cum. His chest rumbled with primal delight. “Hermosa.”
You’d barely had a chance to catch your breath when Miguel dove back in for more, this time his eager, demanding tongue again invading your channel. You whimpered again, your pitch jumping an octave at Miguel’s needy tongue not only collecting his spunk from your pussy, but flicking the muscle against your clit. He was a man possessed, he ate you out as if he needed you to orgasm one more time for his survival. 
You gave him what he wanted (how could you not?), and once the crest of your pleasure had subsided, you lightly pushed him away from your gaping, abused cunt. 
The first thing you noticed when your wits returned to you was how much closer the ground had become. 
“Oh my God,” you put it together and turned to face your partner, "we broke the bed.”
Miguel arched a brow from where he leant back into the pillows. “Are you surprised?”
You frowned at him.  
“I’ll fix it,” he promised. 
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’m going to…” you trailed off your gaze floating to the bathroom.
“Do your thing.”
“Can…can I get you anything?” 
Miguel glanced down at his crotch. “A towel?” 
You nodded. “Say no more.” 
You ducked into your en-suite, and once you were sure the door was firmly closed behind you, you proceeded to have a freak out to yourself in the mirror. You scarcely believe your own appearance – lips kiss swollen, hair a veritable bird's nest, your mascara smudged into rings around your eyes. Miguel had destroyed you in the best of ways. 
The thought sent a little aftershock of pleasure through you. You didn’t dally any longer — you relieved yourself, washed your hands, ran a brush through your hair and splashed water on your face. After dampening a washcloth for Miguel, you returned to the bedroom, where your bed frame was properly vertical again. 
You glimpsed the glow of Miguel’s distinctive red webs holding the broken metal rods together. The other Spider was reclining on your mattress, a sheet haphazardly tossed over his groin to preserve his modesty. Even so, the sight of him made you go weak in the knees. He really did remind you of some sort of a large cat given the odd grace in which he lounged with, the evidence of his power and strength so poorly hidden under the surface of his skin. 
“Get a new frame and expense it to Spider-HQ,” Miguel's baritone snapped you out of your reverie. 
“Oh, okay. Thanks,” You tossed him the towel. 
His eyes raked over your naked form. But instead of the desire you’d found there earlier, his gaze was full of concern. “You okay?”
“Yes. Very okay. A little sore but good sore, ya know?” 
“Good,” Miguel busied himself with cleaning up. 
“I mean, what’s the point of having superpowers if you can’t enjoy extra rough sex?” you joked. 
“Yeah, about that,” Miguel refused to meet your eyes. “As um…great as all this was…I think we–it should be a one-time thing.” 
“Um, duh.” He looked up at you hastily and you continued, “Miguel, neither of us are anywhere close to ready or in the right place for a relationship.” 
Your heart disagreed with your words, but you uttered them anyway. Not because it was how you truly felt, but you knew it was what he wanted to hear. Miguel associated any sense of closeness or vulnerability with weakness and danger. Trying to get him to see otherwise was a fool's errand, and it was easier on your heart to convince yourself into concurring with him. 
Oddly, Miguel didn’t seem to relax at your assurances. He looked dubious. “Are you sure?” 
“Oh my God, you are so cocky!” you accused him with a playful slap to the broad, tan chest. “Spare me the fake worry 2099, you may be amazing at sex, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to be professional with you at HQ.” 
“Amazing at sex?” Mirguel parroted you with a smirk. 
You slapped him again. “Of course that’s the only part you heard.”
“Sorry but those are very distracting,” he claimed, his gaze focused on your exposed breasts. 
You scoffed and grabbed a pillow to temporarily cover yourself. “Hang on there, Spider-Man. Yes, you are…not terrible at showing a lady a good time, no, you don’t have to worry about me being clingy at work, and yes, I’m sure so stop looking at me like that!” 
You tossed the pillow away and straddled him. “Now I don’t know about you, but it’s only midnight. If this is indeed a one-time thing, I say we make the most of the night and the fact that no one has bothered us with some multiversal emergency yet.” 
Miguel finally let it go, choosing to focus on your very nude body on top of his. His hips moved on their own accord, grinding his cock, already stiffening back up to full mast, against where you were still so nice and stretched for him. 
“Vamos, bebita,” he whispered into your ear. His fingers dug into your sides possessively in a way that almost let you believe he was doing it because you were his. “Wanna fuck you on the ceiling.” 
***
You shouldn't have been surprised that Miguel didn’t stay the night. You were honestly shocked when he collapsed beside you after the hours you’d spent vehemently fucking. Your bed was now held together by a mix of both his and your webs, one of your framed photos on the wall lay shattered on the floor to be dealt with later, and the ceiling now sported a dent that was going to be very difficult to explain to your landlord. 
The memory of Miguel leaving was hazy at best. After so many rounds of deeply satisfying, intensely athletic sex, you felt like you could sleep for a week. Yet the shift and dip of Miguel’s large frame exiting the bed was enough to wake you. You could sort of recall a small flash of light and chirpy voice which must have been Lyla…and you also had a vague memory of him replying in a hushed rumble as if not to wake you up. Or was he telling you he was heading out? Everything jumbled together under the fog of sleep. 
Either way, you had to tell yourself that the sensation of a large hand caressing your face and then tenderly stroking down the sleep-warm skin of your back was a dream. Not for Miguel’s sake, but yours. 
Thanks to super-spider stamina, you only really needed a couple extra shots of espresso to function somewhat normally the following day at headquarters. You were angry at your instinct to avoid Miguel. You both were adults that had an adult, mature conversation that last night’s activities were merely a form of stress release that didn’t mean anything. It was hard to believe however, when you could still feel the phantom shape of him inside of you. 
Besides, it’s not even like you could avoid him if you wanted to. You were scheduled to go over more sequencing today with Miguel, and you were dead set on not blinking first in the post-sex-awkwardness stand-off. 
“Hey, Miguel!” your voice reverberated in the vast space. 
Several agonizing moments later, his platform lowered enough for you two to start conversing. If he was at all bashful about seeing you, the man didn’t show it. 
“Good. You’re here.”
“Yep.” 
Miguel was all business. “I want to go back to the fight you had with your father. Lyla, take us to timestamp 46:90:45.”
Damn, and here you thought you were good at compartmentalizing. You did your best to hide any disappointment from reaching your face, playing along as if he hadn’t seen every crevice of your body the night before. 
***
Days turned into weeks, and you eventually, reluctantly accepted that Miguel had told you the truth that night. What you two had shared was really just a one-time lapse of his frighteningly strong self-restraint. 
You were enjoying a rare night in, parked on the couch, takeout boxes strewn about the coffee table, your favorite trashy reality show playing on your TV. You’d gotten injured taking down a Doc Ock variant a few days ago, and Miguel benched you to recuperate. You were all too happy to take a break, from him and Spider-Girling. Despite your complicated feelings for the man, he assigned a recently displaced Spider, Spider-Woman 1357, to pinch hit for you in your dimension while you healed up. It was the first time since you became a hero you had a day off with peace of mind. 
Just as you started another episode, a tingle raced down your spine. Your spider-sense. Something was about to happen. Out of all the possibilities of what could have followed, a portal opening in your living room and Miguel walking through was the last thing you would’ve guessed. You leapt up from the sofa. 
You instantly regretted your appearance - messy bun, no makeup, and ratty sweatpants. Miguel, as usual, looked immaculate in his skintight spider-suit. 
“Hey.” 
“Is this a booty call?”
“No.” 
“Don’t bullshit me–”
“It’s not, I swear! Coño, I came to check on you.” 
“I don’t believe you.” 
“Why not?”
“Because you could have messaged me on my gizmo. It’s your preferred method of communication after all, ever since the last time you were in my apartment.” 
“May–”
Lyla appeared over his shoulder. “He missed you, that’s all.”
Miguel growled at his AI. “I’m going to sentence you to robot death via spreadsheets.” 
Lyla wasn’t threatened in the slightest. “Thank me later.” She disappeared before Miguel could try and make another retort. 
“You missed me?”
“No,” his denial was instant. “I just…I–”
“This is a booty call!” you crumpled up a napkin and chucked it at his large form. “Go home, Miguel!” 
He didn’t budge. “It’s not a booty call. I…what are you watching?”
“The Realest Housewives of Manhattan. What, don’t judge me!”
Miguel couldn't keep his face straight. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” 
Seeing his eyes crinkle with amusement was infectious. You threw another napkin ball at him and then composed yourself. He wasn’t getting off the hook this easily. “Why are you here? Be honest with me. It’s the very least I deserve.”
“I wanted to see the shocking expensive bed frame you expensed to HQ for myself.” 
“You said I could and you didn't set a spending limit.” A wicked little grin pulled at the corners of your mouth. The bed frame from Restoration Hardware had been your own private form of revenge. “And I’m supposed to believe you wanting to see my bed – my bed that you broke–”
“Hey! We broke the bed–”
“--is not your thinly veiled excuse for seeking another roll in the hay? Enough with goddamn mind games Miguel.” He tried to speak but you pushed on, “I’m tired and this is the last thing I need.”
Miguel sobered. He hung his head. His mouth seemed to fight the words as they left his lips.  “Alright, fine. I missed you.” 
You ignored your heartbeat’s sharp increase and schooled your features to maintain a neutral appearance. “I have some extra Pad Thai if you want.” 
“Sounds good.” 
“So this may not be a booty call, but does anyone other than Lyla know you’re here?”
“No.” 
You nodded. “Come. Sit. I just started the episode where Beverly throws her poodle a forty thousand dollar birthday party.” 
“Nothing you said just now made sense,” Miguel protested, but took a seat on your couch anyway. 
A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed!! Miguel has fully rotted my brain so I thought it only fair to share the horniness. Of course I have more imagined in this AU, fingers crossed I can find more time to write (comments and reblogs and likes help!)
Translations:
Mierda - Shit 
cariño - dear
bebita - baby
Gracias a Dios - Thank God
Ven aquí - Come here
¡Coño! - Damnit!
¡No más – basta de esto! -No more, enough of this!
Hermosa - beautiful
Vamos, bebita - Come on, baby
Taglist: @plethora-of-imagines, @itdobe-liza @absolutelybloodyhopeless @ninebluehearts, @oscarissac2099
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damned-punk · 15 hours
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What You Won’t Ever Find (Kidd x Reader)
Part Nine
.⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆.
Content Warning: nsfw, modern!AU, suggestive language, unhealthy attachment, angst
Content Description: gn!reader meets Kidd in a bar and their relationship develops from there ♡
.⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆.
The daisy that Kidd had welded was taunting you from its place on your nightstand. He was right that it’d never wilt but even if it could, the two of you likely wouldn’t last long enough to watch it happen. The cold metal material that comprised its stem and petals was ironic, a sardonic mimicry of what was beginning to feel like a fabricated relationship. You didn’t know what to think anymore, you no longer held distain for Hip’s advice though it could serve you no favors in your current situation. The writing had been on the wall from the night you’d met, the proposition of causal fun should’ve been a glaring red flag but you’d ignored it the same as you had many others.
You’d learned that Kidd was the type of person who could become enamored with someone and play with the idea of a relationship, but he seemed to lack the skills necessary to maintain the relationship once it was started. You assumed that years upon years of hardship and loss had significantly damaged his attachment style, the revelation doing little to help you work through the heavy sense of loss that clouded your psyche. Every day that passed was so dull, you couldn’t wait for them to end once they’d begun. You weren’t even sure how many days it had actually been and you honestly didn’t want to, it didn’t matter anyway.
Your phone was essentially out of commission on account of all the calls and texts that you didn’t have the strength to address. You could only read a few of them every once in a while, his words far too painful to handle. It was obvious when he was drunk or exhausted as what were once carefully selected words would turn into a barrage of mismatched phrases and letters. Killer had even reached out to check on you, he’d always been so kind. Sometimes you didn’t understand how they’d remained friends for so long, Kidd seemed to always be on some level of extreme. You wished you had whatever trait Killer possessed to make Kidd care for him so much, maybe then something meaningful could tether the two of you together.
You flinched upon hearing a car door shut just outside your home, a few short knocks on the door causing your heart to race. You did your best to peer out the window to identify the visitor but the angle made it nearly impossible. As you cracked the door open just a few inches, confusion knitted through your brows. Killer towered over you with his hands tucked in his jeans, alone and carefully considering what he wanted to say.
“I’m sure you’re upset and you don’t have to say anything, just please hear me out.”, he bargained with you.
“Alright.”, you replied after a moment, trusting Killer’s discretion.
“It really wasn’t what it looked like. He royally fucked up, but he did not sleep with her. I don’t know exactly how she ended up in the car with him, but she slept on the couch and he wasn’t interested in her at all. I can promise you that’d he would’ve told me if anything happened and if it had, I wouldn’t be here right now.”, Killer explained, “He woke up the next morning not even really knowing who in the hell she was. He was going to take her home and then come here to talk to you, but you got to the house before he had the chance.”
“He’s had more than once chance at this point.”, you noted, not exactly feeling like the situation was so easily rectified, “Is this something that he always does? If I believe you and go back to him, how long will it be before we’re right back here again?”
“I can’t say that this won’t ever happen again because I don’t know if it will or not. I hope it doesn’t, but Kidd is very temperamental sometimes and you know that just as well as I do.”, Killer replied with a very valid point, “I’ll be honest, I’ve only ever seen him this torn up one other time before… I wouldn’t have wasted your time or mine if I didn’t think it was worth it. He hasn’t slept and he won’t eat, all he does is fuck with shit in the garage all night, works, comes home, and then does it all over again.”
“I don’t know… This has been really hard, Killer. Things will be great for a little while and I’ll think we’re getting somewhere only for him to go off on me or leave me for someone else.”, you let your feelings be known, “I know that I love him, but I also know that I can’t keep doing this.”
“I know and I agree with you entirely, this can’t keep going on.”, Killer validated your understandably difficult position, “I’m asking you, as a friend, please give him a chance to explain himself. This isn’t something that I can fix or help him through, he’s spiraling without you.”
Killer watched you with hopeful eyes as you gave the situation some very intensive thought. To care is a curse and love is a cruel emotion. It’s manipulative, draining, and blinding above all else. It’s so beautiful when it blooms, but it is always met by the most gruesome of ends. Whether or not you still cared for Kidd wasn’t to be questioned, he meant the world to you and that would never change. That sentiment had come back to bite you so many times before but realistically, what more damage could be done?
“I’ll come see him, but I need you to be there.”, you relented as Killer let out a great sigh of relief.
“I’ll be right beside you, whatever you need.”, he patted your shoulder in an attempt to reassure you.
Killer held true to his word, staying at your side and offering as much support as he could in your respective circumstances. He waited patiently on the couch as you dressed yourself and kindly lead the way back to their shared home for you to follow. Kidd hadn’t noticed the two of you pull up and certainly couldn’t hear the slamming of car doors on account of the very heavy music that was blaring from the garage. The door was raised just enough for him to be able to walk out if needed, his bare and sweat-soaked back facing you as he leant over the engine bay of a worn vehicle. You stood just outside the door beside Killer, you couldn’t bring yourself to approach him and instead waited for him to notice the two of you.
After a few minutes had passed, he stood to retrieve a tool from his workbench. As he turned to resume tinkering, he caught sight of you and froze. His expression was facetious, not at all amusing but irrevocably indicative of how much he’d been struggling with all of this. There was no signature eyeliner or lipstick to speak of, only sunken eyes and dark circles in their wake. Trying to recollect himself, Kidd moved to turn the music down while Killer made his way to sit on their porch. He was close enough to intervene if things went sideways, but far enough to allow for some privacy.
You didn’t know what to say and it seemed like he didn’t either, the silence between the two of you growing rather awkward. Kidd looked totally defeated and while he was in the wrong, it wasn’t something you particularly enjoyed seeing. It felt like you could say anything and ruin him permanently if you really wanted to. Just as you felt doubt begin to chip away at your presence in the moment, Kidd extended his arms to you and gave you an optimistic look. Nearly all of your reservations faltered as you walked into his embrace, immediately being lifted off your feet and held as close to him as possible. His dampened forehead pressed against your neck as he folded himself around you. His grip was tight and as though he’d loose something precious if he ever let go.
“(Y/N), I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am.”, he spoke against your skin, “I promise you that nothing happened. I wanted to get the fuck out of there and when she asked me for a ride home, I guess I brought her here. She slept on the couch and I was about to actually take her home when you pulled in.”
“That’s only one small part of the much bigger problem, Kidd. You left me alone at a party full of people that I don’t really know and then you brought someone else home, only for me to find the two of you together the next day.”, you kept your voice low as to not escalate the situation, still stern enough to convey your point, “That was one of the worst feelings I’ve had in my entire life. I felt like I meant nothing to you or anyone else, that I was just something to throwaway and be forgotten.”
“It’s not like that and it’s never fuckin’ been like that.”, he said seriously, lifting his head to face you, “Please, let me make this up to you…”
This was something different, something that you hadn’t seen from him before. You hated everything about this, the way he’d make you feel, the way he’d sunken into himself, and the way that everything in your life seemed to revolve around him. Of course you wanted to pick up where you’d left off, but it went beyond that simple concept. Something within you knew that if this ended, there would never be another Kidd. In fact you’d never have the opportunity to be truly happy again, you’d only be mourning what should have been. It was unhealthy and that reality had crossed your mind, but in this moment in his arms, you didn’t care.
“I’ll give you anything you want, (Y/N)… You tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen.”, he pleaded with you while resting his forehead against your own, his tired eyes glazed and searching for any hint of clarity.
That always seemed to be his answer and you weren’t sure if he really meant it or if he just wished it were the truth. You wanted to believe that he had the ability to commit himself to an established relationship, but even that was a far cry from your current predicament. You undoubtedly wanted Kidd and it was looking like this would be the price you’d have to pay if you wished to stay with him. Perhaps this was the moment of unraveling, a realization of something you’d been missing all along.
“This can’t happen again.”, you repeated the same condition you’d given him before, praying that you’d never have to say it again, “I know this is hard on you, but you have to stop being so self destructive. People care about you and whether you intend for them to or not, your actions have very real consequences.”
“You’re right…”, he trailed off, seemingly taking in what you’d said, “I don’t want to lose you, (Y/N).”
“You won’t. We have some things we need to work on, but you won’t. I’m right here.”, you reassured him, lifting your head to kiss his forehead, “How about you go shower and then we’ll eat something? That’ll be a good start.”
He took your chin in his hand and placed a very passionate kiss to your lips. The gesture made up for the things he didn’t know how to say, also working to fluster Killer as he watched the two of you. He’d certainly tease Kidd for it later, happy that the two of you actually managed to reconcile with one another. You followed the two of them into the house and took some time to appreciate the comfort of Kidd’s bedroom. It was a sick sense of consolation, the familiarity of something you held so dear that was on the edge of being ripped from your hands at any given moment.
.⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆.
A/N: Thank you for reading! All characters presented in the story have been caricatured to fit the desired plot devices. Some interactions and situations may read out of character, this is only to progress the story and does not reflect my view of their canon personalities.
.⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆˚。 ☠︎︎ ⋆。˚⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆.
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mr-payjay · 2 days
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analysis of oj's thought process in this scene for funsies (quick warning for suitcase being put down and seen as inferior by another but it's not character neg)
why is oj being a massive fucking bitch? 🤔 Let's analyze.
so, obviously oj is living off a power trip in this episode. interesting implications about his actual power as a hotel owner. actually, at the beginning of the episode, we can see that he is NOT RESPECTED. salt lies about cleaning up, pepper demands him where the towels are (and he smugly lets her enter the DEATH TRAP DOOR? implying a familiar but negative relationship), and in general oj (and paper sort of but that's not relevant) seems to be the only caretaker while the rest of the residents are more like customers. though it seems they are *meant* to help out (such as salt being supposed to clean).
anyway. once oj gets the temporary host role for inanimate insanity, he immediately gets excited. we transition to the scene outside the hotel and he even does a little twirl! oj starts to read off the paper mephone uses (which oj has happily vandalized with drawings of himself and a snarky little message, this points to his general disdain towards mephone) and is trying to go Smoothly through with it. once the teams start fighting, he doesn't even try to figure out who's telling the truth, preferring instead to eliminate a random person. he REALLY likes to be efficient with his time, huh? that's talked about more in the next paragraph, but in this one i'll say a bit about his hatred for inanimate insanity. for the whole episode, he is uncaring of the show's rules, guidelines, structures, etc. he eliminates someone at random, he makes the contestants clean the hotel NOT as a challenge then flips a coin to determine the loser (only after they question him), he makes them sing for no reason other than to be entertained, he zips through every step as fast as possible. he does not care at all about ii, despite being so eager to host it. why? because hosting it means he gets to boss around a group of people (and he can make them clean his hotel! something he really needs help with!!), he gets to take mephone's place and mess with his stuff and disrespect his show, and generally he gets to sort of... take out some of his lasting frustrations surrounding ii. i don't think ANY of the season one cast is fond of inanimate insanity (and especially not of mephone), even if it brought them together (also not always a good thing). oj certainly isn't.
once he picks suitcase, he starts by calling her "whats-your-face" (thank you for noticing mari), then a few seconds later calls her by her actual name. thissss is so interesting to me. he KNOWS her name, apparently. but he called her a mean name first. this can either imply that he forgot, that he's just being a jerk for the hell of it, or both. i think it's both. a mix of his obsession with productivity and his need to be superior motivates this. he wants to get the elimination over with as quickly as possible, so quickly that he doesn't even bother to remember her name right away, because he's SO efficient that he just simply Doesn't have time for these things (in his mind). so it makes him feel both superior to her (disrespecting her), makes him feel good about himself (he feels like he's just being Productive and Time Efficient and part of that is that he has "no time" to do anything else but work). basically, he DID forget her name for like, a singular second, he just didn't bother to wait a moment or correct himself instead of calling her something else.
and for telling suitcase she's ruining the show? let's bring it back to ii1. oj insults people whenever he feels like it. he's pretty mean, and he's worse when he's stressed. he insults people particularly for being "useless" (such as to bomb), and is quick to fight back against anyone who challenges him. a pushover like suitcase is easy to demean. and it makes him respect her even less when she's being so meek! oj thinks his snappishness is justified by the fact he's, once more, simply being time efficient ("we've got a busy schedule!"), and that she is just wasting his time. i said earlier that oj doesnt respect inanimate insanity. so why does he accuse her of ruining the show if he doesn't care about it? well, because this is *his* episode. his time to be the host. even if he disregards the usual way things run, he's still going to get upset if something conflicts with *his* plans. he wants to get this over with and get them to clean his hotel, not much else (again, he's still enjoying being in a position of authority, he just likes to be nonchalant about how Superior and Powerful he is now). if someone's interrupting that, he's going to assert himself. oj always fights back against anyone who challenges him, and suitcase is too much of a doormat to stop him from shutting her down.
now for oj telling her to step back. this part is petty. he's irritated but also kind of. happy about being irritated. "what," you say? well, see, suitcase is genuinely trying to follow his directions. she just doesn't know how *much* to step back, obviously. so oj keeps shooing her a little bit at a time until she's finally offscreen, and you can tell he's a little bit annoyed by it. but this is part of the power & superiority once more! he gets to boss around someone "inferior to him" who is just soooo stupid that she doesn't even know where to go. and oj has to shoo her over and over because she's just not getting it (since he is sooo very much smarter than her and she is just completely incapable of following OBVIOUS directions.) but it's okay she is simply a Minor inconvenience (in his head) that he has dealt with now. also note that he could've just pointed to where she had to go. does this paragraph make sense? he likes being able to tell others what to do and have them do it, so even if she's kind of annoying him by not completely understanding the instructions, he still gets to assert his authority quite a bit.
this analysis is particularly focused on the scene in the video but i do bring up some other parts of the episode to support it.
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Man it’s so annoying that I like my job bc the job itself is like fine or whatever but I really do love the people
#not to get on tumblr everyday to post about my job and type out this tag like every day but here we r again#like my friend and I went out for ice cream after work and I drive her home every night and it’s so fun#like I’ll keep in touch with her I’m not worried about falling out of contact with her#but like. she is the only person who I talk to outside of work#and like a lot of my coworkers who I really like r like. definitely in their 60s. I’m not gonna be like omg bestie what’s ur snap?#first of all I don’t use Snapchat second of all I am not that friendly third of all like. what would I even have to say#i am a terrible texter. i have nothing to say ever. I don’t know why but I am just so very boring to text I’ve got nothing to say#but yeah I’m sad that I’m gonna miss these people#my last day is the 19th :(#i am a little curious if they’ll do anything bc they usually host little goodbye parties for people who leave#and I am well liked. I’m gonna be so sad when I leave#I’ll be back every few weeks like hi you missed me a ton right? I’m here for the weekend. yes I do live across the country. don’t even worry#i have 2 favorite people there. ones my friend who I talk to a lot and the other is one of the waitresses but I won’t probably talk to her#which means like I’m gonna definitely miss her a ton and she’s already made a few comments like oh I’m gonna miss you so much when you leave#like man. catch me crying on my last day#god this is why I can’t deal with people being so nice to me bc then I’m gonna miss them!! like come on say one hurtful thing please#well actually no I think I’m sad enough as is but like. some people r just so nice. and it’s like bestie please I’m getting attached#soup talks
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sananaryon · 5 months
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Do you think Basira moved in with Melanie and Georgie after the eyepocalypse?
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heloflor · 10 months
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You know, considering that new untitled Peach game is a bit like Luigi’s Mansion with how it puts a Mario character in a new environment with new game mechanics, I’m kinda hoping Peach gets her own original villain the same way Luigi was given King Boo.
Hell, with Super Mario RPG coming back, which has many original characters, and with the characters from the Peach teaser being something other than Toads, it seems Nintendo might be willing to dip their toes into original characters again. So what’s better to start making new characters than by giving Peach her own bad guy ! Also the new Mario Bros game has some new characters as well from the looks of it, so again, it’s possible !
And don’t get me wrong, Bowser is absolutely iconic and I do enjoy the irony of Peach battling against him. But with this game not being a platformer, and again taking into consideration Luigi’s Mansion, it would be a fun change of pace for Peach to have a new villain in her own series (god I hope this game becomes a series of several games!!!). Plus, it seems Peach will be more and more playable in mainline games, meaning more Bowser beat-up from her anyways.
And yes, part of me wants that new villain to be a female character as it's been forever since Mario games has had one and I am very much aware of how people would go crazy over it for the shipping.
(Also going back to Bowser, it’s more of a “me” thing but I always found it slightly weird to see Bowser attack Peach, since he’s supposed to be in love with her (Paper Mario games prove it well) and in all the games she gets captured, there are no indications he ever raises a hand on her. Hell in Odyssey he’s very gentle when putting Tiara on Peach’s head. Also Peach is never particularly afraid of him despite how horrible he can be, which implies he doesn’t physically hurt her.
Fun fact : this is why I headcanon Super Princess Peach as taking place very soon after Super Paper Mario, since the two of them would have just spent weeks working together and getting along. So it would work for Bowser to lose his shit upon getting rejected yet again “despite doing everything right” and thus be willing to fight her. As for 3d World, there’s three other people Bowser can focus on to avoid hurting her)
#Super Mario#Princess Peach#Untitled Princess Peach game#Flor talks#you know; about the possibility of Peach not getting captured anymore in future games; I don't know how to feel about it#and funnily enough; it has nothing to do with Peach herself but instead with Bowser#the gist of it is that Bowser is a shitty person with a pretty big soft side#and outside of being a dad; the other thing showing that soft side is his love for Peach; granted the mainline games barely ever show it#but the RPGs do; and as messed up as it is; it's also kinda cute !#and basically if Bowser stops kidnapping Peach; not only does it show less that he likes her in a sense as it reduces how obsessed he is#but most importantly it means Bowser will need new reasons to be a villain; reasons that might turn him into an irredeemable piece of shit#and that's what I'm afraid of; I like Bowser as that absolute douche with a soft spot who's willing to work with Mario if needed#I think the best way Nintendo could go about this would be to find a balance to the kidnappings#have all the big Mario 3d games be about Bowser kidnapping Peach along with a few of the mainline games#meanwhile have the other half of the mainline games feature Peach as playable + give her her own game series#(I mean reminder that in the 5 main 3d games; Luigi is only playable in the Galaxy ones#and for the first one takes finishing the game to unlock; so having Peach sometimes be the hero sometimes the damsel could work)#(the main issue with her being the damsel is that we never get to play as her; causing her to be seen as a bland character by many#but if we do play as her sometimes + she gets her own games; her being the damsel will be less of an issue)#(another way to fix the issue could also to go the early Paper Mario route and have her actually do things while captured)
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prestonmonterey · 2 months
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ughhhh someone kill me i think i might like stay on the third floor today i actually cant deal with her today
#marble musings#vent#shes the only person in my 'friend' group who has the same free block as me#and shes actually a nightmare to be around#im always worried shes gonna take my stuff#(she likes taking my wolf from my hands and my cat ears off my head#and laughs it off as a joke even after i tell her not to??)#and i cant even escape her bc the new friend group that im kind of maybe a part of#she just shows up sometimes#and its awful bc ive seen her make some of my friends uncomfortable and is entirely unapologetic about it#and shes really loud and makes everything about herself and makes conversations impossible#and its annoying bc she kept complaining about not being able to talk to me during free block bc i have headphones on#to listen to music and/or do work#and i was like#'ok you can talk to me if you want idc'#and now she talks to me nonstop during free block regardless of if i tell her i need to get work done#and her existence just kinda stresses me out#but ive never found the right time to tell her to stop#and i cant sit inside where all the tables are bc we usually sit there#and i cant sit outside bc its prolly wet and also she'll find me#and idk if im even allowed to sit upstairs but i kinda have to bc i really dont want to deal with her today#i need like a proper excuse for why im wearing headphones#she doesnt care that i listen to podcasts#and i don have anything to edit#ummmm#i don actually have any hw other than like studying for my math test#fuck ok i guess ill do that#idk what class shes in#umm#if shes also in honors ill cry
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blackvelvetofnight · 3 months
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coworkers who you'd hang with outside of work but on shift you need to kill with hammers
#so many of our part time people are incredible but there are a few that make me homicidal#one of our people is so sweet but has that flaky hippie energy that Does Not Work in this field#one morning she came in and i was like ok i need you to stay with this person while i get literally all of this shift done#and she was like okay! 😃 and not even five minutes later i looked up from the eight tasks i was juggling#and she was wandering over to the coffee maker meanwhile the person was losing their fucking mind while she was pouring her coffee#like la la la tee hee !#like with love and light meet me outside i just want to talk#a different day i had gotten everything done and had all my residents ready to go. meanwhile there was ONE resident left upstairs with her#and i heard screaming and pounding and was like christ ok and came up to check in with her and she was like haha yeah theyre really mad#and started going aww i bet you want to calm down right now wow youre going to regret being this mad later!#and i had to be like i need you to switch with me RIGHT NOW and shes all surprised like ok if you say so lol#i miraculously got everyone calm enough to get out the door and pulled her aside like HEY person who has worked here for nearly two years#when someone is not only upset but so escalated theyre trying to KICK DOWN A DOOR#you should not be like haha i bet you want to calm down sooo bad rn#and she was like lol thats a good point! 😃👆#like im going to throw you down a well
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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I have a coworker that I used to love to talk to but she has a problem with interrupting me, constantly, in the middle of conversations. Oftentimes she doesn't react to a statement of mine, and will interrupt with something completely separate, but it genuinely hurts my feelings?
And I don't know how to mention this without hurting hers.
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thewingedwolf · 1 year
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having a group of gay friends where this is their first group of gay friends apparently means they don’t find my “our one token straight friend is like a little gay” jokes funny apparently aksjsjs or when i bitch specifically about the gay dating scene near chicago being dominated by annoying white ex theater gays, they immediately get into like “well there are messy gay poc” yeah i’m aware of that, i’m talking about a really specific issue with the gays in this area pls keep up
#it is a well accepted fact that the gay scene in chicago has a large annoying white gay section who are the Messiest & Cringiest bitches#that have ever lived and every gay scene has A Group that annoys the shit out of everyone else in the scene okay aksjsns#all the lesbians in my area are either married with kids or constantly at a club and i know this bc i have dated lesbians in this area#half the stereotypes about gay people in illinois are about the ex theater gays or party gays in boystown like aksjdjdj come on#i cannot be the only one in tune with the Community here#also if u don’t agree that our straight friend who is always mentioning female celebs she’d go gay for wouldn’t fall in love with some#lady version of sam heughan when she wears an outlander mask to work every day u r just factually incorrect okay#rani makes text posts no one will read#but we were talking about these really specific messy white gay people we know & it’s like yeah so one of them already having a committed#partner 2 weeks after filing for divorce & all of them being like high powered lawyers that spend their free time taking their kids to see#wicked at the oriental theater is just a really specific type of gay person that i’ve dated a lot aksksjsj#and also they’ve been in my friend groups. they’re the only ones with cars everyone else takes the train everywhere & they refuse to go on#dates outside of chicago city limits like they’re gonna get hate crimed the moment they step off the el#which is double funny bc like do u think i live in fucking waukegan do i look like i make that much money no ur not gonna get hate crimes in#this democratic stronghold area like every other person that walks in has a pride pin or pink hair ur good buddy.
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maddy-ferguson · 7 months
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i spent two hours (two hours) with my "friends" from school today and i'm MISERABLE roman voice you need to stop this (@ me)
#and like i say: brf slt#forgot to say we were literally sitting down. in class. taking notes. like there's genuinely no reason for THAT to make me feel this bad!#i'm not even bad at talking to people i never talk to again in class or only hang out with in school not having real friends doesn't bother#me because i have friends outside of school but it's my third year so everyone already has established groups of friends and it's :/ like#on monday in my first class of the year the girl sitting next to me was very nice we talked and we have more classes in common like apart#from the big ones where everyone's here the ones where it's only maybe 30 people. so i'm like that's fun i hope i see her again and i did#but she's friends with the bigger group of friends my friends who don't actually like me are friends with like my non friend's boyfriend's#friends so THEIR friends. like what are the odds. i guess not that crazy because there's only maybe 200 of us or 150 i have no idea#but still#but anyway#today we have one of these classes where it's not everyone but it was like another group of students so it was#me. this girl i've been hanging out with for two years who i didn't want to keep hanging out with at the end of the year because of the way#she reacted to something i did that was like an honest mistake she took it wayyy too seriously and said some things i didn't like i was#like girl fuck you😭 except then they kept the exact same groups AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE and it was four months later so i actually#sat next to her and we were together for projects and things like that like my bad. that's on me.#and on her first day last year she met a girl who wasn't in our university the year before and they became bffs basically so it was them +#me. and i like the second girl better i think but she's insanely judgey like not to be like i'm so much better than her but i grew out of#the criticizing everyone 24/7 because it's genuinely a fun activity for me and i enjoy it mindset when i left middle school because the one#friend who liked it as much as me went to a different high school and i stopped seeing her every day. i made a post saying this in january#then during the second semester we became friends with another person i don't wanna explain how. we worked on a thing together for class#basically. them i genuinely like even though i don't think we would actually hang out out of school and have that many things to say to#each other. but they're more friends with girl 1 and girl 2 than they are with me because well i'm not comfortable with them so i talk less#than i would if i was comfortable. and there's also person 3's partner we have a few classes with who's cool but same as person 3 with the#being closer to girl 1 and girl 2 even though they're not even that close. but like. yeah idk#they just (girl 1 and girl 2) make me feel like i'm the weird kid in middle school and that wasn't even my middle school experience i'm#gonna let that happen to me NOW AT 22 YEARS OF AGE?#but last year it was like fine actually it's crazy how one class two hours made me rethink it all#but it's also awkward because like am i just gonna go sit all by myself because i don't wanna hang out with them. especially because we#still have a group thing we're gonna have to do until the end of the year that we started last year and it's not like i'd wanna switch#groups because they're a good group to work with. like they actually do the work. and i guess we only have two classes where it's. tag limi
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teaandinanity · 1 year
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It is never going to stop being funny to me that people I love and who know I would never hurt them and who have seen me mad like one (1) time five or more years ago...
Are still like ‘oh yeah shit she’s TERRIFYING when she’s angry.’
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