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#especially because i specifically never put anything on top of my laptop
labyrynth · 2 years
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ok but seriously how are moms so good at ruining your day in 0.05 seconds
#i very nicely asked her to not put things on top of my computer#because i need to use my computer l#and i really hate having to clear it off every time i want to use my computer#especially because i specifically never put anything on top of my laptop#and she went on about ‘well don’t put your stuff in the common area’#ma’am i have told you so many fucking times that if you want something moved#just fucking tell me and i will move it#blanket statements like ‘don’t have things in the common area’ is an impossible rule to abide by#just like ‘don’t keep things on the table’#the table is supposed to have things on it#that’s its whole purpose#she said the only place i can have things in the common area is my desk#so i dumped out all of the shit she’s been keeping in it because she’s been taking up like half the drawer space this whole time#oh what? you don’t like it when you’re trying to use a space and there’s crap all over it?#aww that’s so horrible :( i can’t at all imagine what that feels like. to want to use a space and have stuff all over it in the way.#gosh i really wonder what it’s like when someone dumps crap all over the space you want to use. can’t possibly imagine what that feels like.#she’s literally been living away from home the entire time since i moved back and has the gall to come back for like three days#and blow her top about ‘being rejected’ and ‘feeling alienated’ in her own home#btw she says this about me when i sit in the good chair#and not in a joking way#like sorry i haven’t been observing your presence & leaving it for you to enjoy (in spirit. because she’s not living here at present.)#god istg when she moves back in that’s when i start moving out
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lollypopsx · 3 years
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Flatmate!Harry: I'll Make It Up To You - Part 2
Please like if it’s not too shabby, reblog for anyone who may enjoy this and follow if you want to see more! Any suggestions are happily taken for future writing! I love you all! be safe and be kind x
Warnings: Hints of depression and anxiety
Part 1 - Part 3
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Days had passed since the audition, and while you were sat on your laptop every hour searching for new jobs, new projects, more auditions and pure hope of some miracle, you couldn't help but starting to feel like you were failing slightly.
You liked to write happy songs and create stories using your music, but you were finding it harder to find the inspiration. Usually you and Harry would sit and talk ideas for hours, but since he made you miss your audition, you were distant from him, it was only the last day or two that you had been getting slowly back to normal.
Every day since the incident when Harry came home after working at the studio, he would open the curtains to make sure you had fresh air and daylight after cooping yourself up on the sofa all day, in the dimly lit living room. Not only that, he would check the cupboards, fridge and the sink to check that you were eating enough. He had seen you stressed and upset before. He had been there through some difficult moments in your life, and had always been your rock throughout the years, especially when your mental health was struggling during these times. But this time was worse. He couldn't help being concerned for someone he loved and cared for.
"Hey pumpkin..." He whispers softly, settling himself down beside you after completing his daily routine "Have you done much today?" he gently combs his fingers through your hair before dropping his arm round your shoulders.
You just sigh softly, looking ahead blankly at the quiet TV, simply shaking your head. If only he could see what was going on in that pretty mind of yours then maybe he could make everything better.
"I see you used the piano and the guitar today though..." he states, although it came out more like a question.
Minutes of silence filled the room until out of the blue, some words left your lips. "...Adam came to get the ring today" you whisper, feeling the tears brim your eyes once again, for what felt like the millionth time today.
"Oh darling" He frowns, pulling you into his chest tightly, just like he did the night you found out your (now ex-) boyfriend, Adam, was cheating on you. Unfortunately, you happened to find out minutes before he proposed to you, in front of all of your friends, including Harry. You didn't know what to do, so you took the ring, said you'd think about it and you left him standing alone. This all happened months ago, and you really thought that you was totally over it.
"Everything that's happened this week...I-I just...I feel like such a failure Haz. It just feels like I...I-I'm falling...falling apart and nothings going right! Why isn’t anything going right! I can’t even write one stupid song that makes sense" you let out hard sobs as your hands fisted his clean white t-shirt.
"No...no, no, no don't say that...please don't ever say that." He frowns, pulling away from you, but still staying close. His warm hands press against your cheeks as he lifts your face gently "hey, hey look at me" he whispers, begging you to look at him.
Your sad wide eyes flickered up into his, gentle tears falling down your face. "I know...I know it's hard at the moment. But everything happens for a reason. And everything will get better...I know it will. Do you trust me?" He whispers, his eyes gazing deep into yours, almost like if he looked hard enough, he could read your mind.
You give a hesitant nod as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before wiping the tears dampening your cheeks. Being affectionate together wasn't anything unusual for the two of you, you really were the best of friends.
"I'll go make some dinner okay? Pasta sound good?" You just nod your head gently at him as he leaves your side. You let out a deep sigh and head over to the living room window, watching the sunrise beginning to set over the busy London town. "So...how's the studio going?" You ask him curiously, your gaze still at the window.
"I erm..." He clutters around in the kitchen. His job was a topic he had been avoiding for the last few days. He didn't want to rub it in that he was busy writing an album for millions of fans, who would be screaming his lyrics back to him all over the world in years to come. "It's...good. I mean, its tiring but I...yeah. It's good" He nods.
"H, you don't have to avoid it. I forgive you for what happened. I know you would never have done it out of spite...and you deserve your life style, you work hard!" You say as you head into the kitchen, re-filling the water in the vase on the table, your vibrant roses and lilies still looking as beautiful as the first day Harry bought them for you.
"You work hard too!" He frowns softly "Harry I don't think moping around on the sofa, drowning in my sorrows, is the definition of working hard" You let out a gentle chuckle.
"So...how's it really going?" You hop up onto the stool beside the kitchen counter.
"Well, we have 4 songs so far...and they are...different to the last album. I mean they reckon three of them will be on the pop charts...maybe even a number one slot there" He sighs softly.
"Oh wow, that does sound different to before...and you...don't want that?" You ask curiously, judging by the lack of excitement. "Well...it's not that. I just...it's hard to write another album when the last one did well, and you have to make sure it's better than the last one." He sighs softly as he cooks. "They want me to write some slower, more emotional songs. I just can't...well the words don't fit right. I'm just not feeling emotional about anything, so I don't know where to get the emotion from"
"Well you can't put a price on emotion Haz, you can't just go and buy it in Gucci. You have to really feel it. Even if you aren't thinking about something specific or direct to you. I used to find that sometimes when I was trying to write, I'd create these characters in my head, and I'd give them all these different stories and personalities. And I...I used that to really help me write music. It's not easy." You explain while getting two of the plates from the cupboard and pouring two drinks for the table.
"You used to? You mean you don't use that method anymore?" He asks curiously, while giving the pasta one final stir.
"I...I think I've decided that I'm not going to write music anymore" You shrug softly, your eyes unable to life to his. "I need a proper job. And things aren't going well with auditions lately and I make a total fool out of myself every time I go into a meeting. It's time I looked for a proper job. Besides, the price of bills in this house keeps going up and up."
"What?! Y/N you're so good at writing songs and music! You can't throw it all away now! That is your proper job. And I love hearing what you write, it inspires my own stuff!" He frowns, his brow furrowing, trying to understand you. "Think of all the songs no one will get to hear"
"No one hears them anyway...It's different now. The entertainment industry is changing more and more by the day. Maybe the stuff I write just isn't as trendy anymore." It was difficult for you to admit, but you knew you had to accept it.
"There's a fine line between us Styles, because the difference is, you're already there. You have the whole world in your hands Haz, you can go anywhere and do anything. You could sing a song to a fish and the whole world would be adored by you still! If I did something like that...I'd be laughed out of every interview, audition and meeting for the rest of my life. But we’ll be alright" You smile and shrug, your mood had certainly been hit and miss the last few days, but you knew you had to carry on with your life.
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“Hey Y/N come here!” Harry calls from the living room. You were currently in your room, scrolling through your Instagram, while in a pasta coma after dinner. You rush over to the living room “What’s up?” You ask, seeing him sat at the gleaming white piano, which as always was sat under the window.
“What do you think?” He starts to play a few notes on the piano, looking between the scruffy paper notes cluttering the top of the piano and his hands. 
“Can’t put a price on emotion...it’s something that you just can’t buy...you...you’ve got my devotion...but....but” He sighs softly, playing around with the notes and the wording on his notes. 
You smile softly as you recognise his acknowledgment of your earlier conversation “...but man, I can hate you sometimes” you sing gently, testing to see how it could fit.
“Hey that’s mean! Why would you say that!” He fakes a pout up at you “I thought we- hey actually...you’re right! That really fits!” He chuckles, pulling you onto the stool beside him. “Can you try a G chord, B chord and....lets try a C...” You nod and smile as your fingers gloss over the keys effortlessly, while Harry fits the verse together and tries to find the right tempo.
“Wait...it doesn’t sound right. Maybe lets try a D instead of C?” You suggest as you re-try, playing those three chords over and over again.
“You...are...a genius!” He grins and wraps his arms around your waist. ”Keep going!” He smirks, pushing more lyrics in front of you. Sometimes having a fresh pair of eyes really helped...or perhaps he just wanted to prove that you had talent.
You peer down at the pages upon pages of words flooding your view. “...I don’t want to fight with you....and I...and I don’t like to sleep in the dark...we’ll get the drinks in...I...I can’t stop thinking of her...” 
Harrys fingers join yours at the piano “We’ll be a fine line....We’ll be a fine line...”He smiles softly as he taps on a few random keys. 
You pull your fingers away gently “It...your song sounds...really good H. It’s beautiful actually.”
 “You mean our song...” He whispers.
“Harry no, it’s your song, all the pieces, I just put your jigsaw together” You smile. “I know how it is writing songs and the first draft is never the same as the final version. You might decide to change it all completely” You whisper.
“Not with your lyrical genius ability and words of wisdom...your name will be all over this track” You felt a shock of electricity ripple through your veins as you felt his eyes burning into yours. His lips pressed gently against your forehead, lingering against your skin longer than usual. That sort of affection was normal from your best friend...so why did it just feel like something completely different? And what did he mean about my name being all over the track?
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Tag List: @harryhoney-bee - @sunandherflores - @sad-capuccino
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egg-on-the-run · 3 years
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Massage
The turtle's s/o is exhausted, they help make things better with a massage.
(she/her pronouns used)
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Leonardo
She's already asleep in his bed when he comes home from patrol. Usually she waits for him on the couch, even when she was tired, but Splinter had specifically told him she was already asleep, warned him to do his best not to wake her up.
She must be exhausted.
He tiptoes in as quietly as he could after his shower, spots her lying flat on his bed: not tucked in, just lying atop his blankets on her stomach. She had been too tired to lift the sheets.
He can see how tense she is, can see the way how even in her sleep her shoulders still rise to her ears, how her finger twitches with an anxious need to keep moving. Her face scrunched up slightly, adorable, but he would rather it be relaxed and soft.
He's careful and slow moving her onto the bed properly, still not setting her under the covers just yet. He's even more careful when he straddles her legs, keeps his weight off them almost entirely. His hands start at her lower back, kneading into her very softly.
She jolts and eyes snap open, "What are you doing?"
"I uh, I was giving you a massage, you look tense, even in your sleep."
"Oh," She relaxes, "You're an angel, just scared me a little." Her head hits the pillow again, already drifting off.
He tries once more, hands softly pressing into her lower back. She lets out a breath of air, sinking further into the mattress. He continues, travelling further up her spine. Usually he hates the sound of bones cracking (all of his brothers teased him constantly about it), but tonight he was quite happy to hear little pops coming from her spine. He especially didn't mind when she gave a little moan afterwards.
His hands travel further up towards her shoulders, kneading and rolling his wrists into the dozens of knots in her back. Her shoulders were so tense that she whined whenever he was too rough. He had to be gentle, working them out slowly.
By the time he was finished, she was sleepily trying to reach his hand with her eyes closed.
"Cuddle me," She mumbled as she found his hand, "Pretty please? I've got tomorrow off."
"Of course," He replied, moving to help her under the sheets, "That was the plan anyway."
He pulled her tight against his chest, hearing her bones crack once more as she melted like putty in his hands. He kissed her forehead.
"Thank god you've got tomorrow off, I'll let you sleep in as long as you want." He sighed, relaxing himself, "I'll make sure the lair is quiet."
She didn't hear a word of what he said, she was already fast asleep.
Raphael
Raphael was the king of tension. He wasn't like Michelangelo where little bothered him, or like Donatello who had those random self care days, or even like Leonardo who learned to de-stress through meditation. Oh no, Raphael carried tension like a mother with a clingy child: pulling on his shoulders, weighing him down and making him irritated.
It came with the whole anger thing.
So there have been countless times where she has used her knuckles to work the knots out of his shoulders. It was no easy task, especially when she had to use most of her body weight to actually get through each and every knot.
But she'd do it a hundred times more if he needed her to, and Raphael knew that, knew it all to well.
So when he sees her already grumbling to herself at the latest email that just came through to her laptop, when he see her shoulders rising to her ears in frustration and hands balling into fists, he knew he had to do the same thing for her as she had done countless times for him.
She jumps when he first puts his hands on her shoulders, but recognises the warm touch shortly after.
"What are you doing?" She asked, one hand reaching up to rest on top of his, she kept her attention glued to her screen, "I have a lot of work to do, Raphie."
"I know," He said, beginning to knead into her shoulders, "Just a massage, you look stressed."
"Oh with that lovely email, I am more than stressed."
She's always had a sharp tongue, never directed it to him (never intentionally) but he knows her patience is wearing thin and work certainly wasn't helping. He thought about taking his hands away entirely, not wanting to pester her; but she ran her thumb across his hand, typed with only one set of fingers, and Raphael remembered how often she did this for him when his patience was thinner than a piece of paper.
He pressed his hands into her shoulders again, watched as her head leaned back and body moved with his hands. He knew the feeling, when the knots were so tight they just hurt. He continued to work his hands into her shoulders, and slowly it seemed to stop hurting and the tension started to melt away. She closed her eyes, pushed her laptop away from her and just let herself be for a moment.
"Those big ol' hands of yours," She said, voice more like a breath, "So gentle with me."
"Not like you, using your damn elbows to get the knots out."
"But does it work?" She laughed.
He chuckled, "Of course it works, you're the best at this."
"Oh I dunno, you might give me a run for my money, this feels like heaven right now." Her head rolled to the side, turning slightly to kiss his hand, "Take me to bed Raphie, please."
With one final squeeze he let go, moving his arms to wrap around her waist and carry her to bed. Work wasn't important, this was.
Donatello
The lair was far too noisy, Donatello's lab was far too bright. Everything was just too much, all at once. Even as she sat on his desk, the reflection of his computer in his glasses from behind her was glaring into her eyes. He sat between her legs, arms around her waist and rambling about — god, she didn't even know at this point. She'd spaced out long ago, too overwhelmed to even try and catch up.
He moved his head at he spoke, Donatello was always an expressive fellow, and the light bounced off his glasses right into her eyes. She squinted, scrunched her entire face up and groaned.
"You have a migraine," He said plainly, "I have some painkillers in my drawer—"
"I took some earlier, they just haven't kicked in yet." She frowned.
She looked in pain, Donatello hated to see her like this, hated when there wasn't anything he could do.
He reached up and cupped her face, "Have you had enough water today?"
"Yeah," She mumbled, "Been using that new water bottle I got."
"When did you last eat?"
"Went out for dinner with some coworkers."
Donnie hummed, not knowing what else could cause her such a migraine. They usually had a reason behind them, she didn't usually just get them randomly. He wondered if she'd be on her phone too much, not to sound like Splinter, but she's been talking to him for the past hour or so, her eyes should have rested by now.
She pushed her cheek into his hand, letting his hand squish the chub on her face. Donatello squeezed gently, rubbing her cheeks in a circular motion.
"What are you doing?" She asked, voice muffled by his hands.
"Massaging your face," He replied, moving to knead her cheekbones with his thumbs, "Maybe it's tension that's brought this on."
"Maybe..."
He moved his thumbs over the bridge of her nose and followed the shape of her eyebrows, he repeated the action a few times before gently rubbing her temples.
"You're really good at this..." She murmured, eyes closed and jaw slack. Her face was no long scrunched up, but instead so completely relaxed she looked as though she was already asleep. Donatello persisted, using his thumbs to move the tension away from her face. His hands moved to her hair, grasping tightly and then releasing, he tickled his fingers through her locks: slowly so as not to pull on any tangles.
By the time he'd moved back to her jaw, he was pretty sure she'd fallen asleep where she sat. He smiled softly at her, kissed her forehead, and carried her off to bed.
He needed an early night as well.
Michelangelo
She had been on her feet all day, running errands for a coworker who had recently hurt their leg. Said coworker was fine, and would be perfectly capable of putting of such errands until their leg was better (really, Mikey huffed, using his girlfriend like a servant). But she could never just say no, and even after she'd ran around the city collecting bits and bops, dropping off items and buying groceries, her coworker hadn't even offered her so much as a sit down before he not-so-subtly led her out of his apartment.
So she came stumbling to the lair, exhausted and drained beyond compare and ready to collapse but still so eager to see her darling Mikey. He was in the shower when she arrived, she knew because Raphael told her, and because she could hear his singing before she'd even arrived.
She dragged herself to his bed, kicking her shoes off and not even caring where she left them. She collapsed to her knees before she could crawl under the blankets, lying surprisingly comfortably on the floor.
"Hey, hey angel! What are you doing down here?" Mikey's cheerful voice woke her up, along with a little shake of her shoulder. "We snoozing on the floor now?"
"So tired..." She mumbled, eyes fluttering closed, "Carry me to bed."
"No problem, the whole five feet distance it is." Mikey chuckled. He picked her up, sliding her onto his bed, careful not to bump her head on Raphael's top bunk. "All those errands huh? Guy owes you a thanks at least."
"Jackass kicked me out before I could even sit down at his place," She glared at the mattress above her, "So rude."
"Uh, totes rude? My girl did all that for him and he doesn't even let you sit down? Jackass is a very nice way to describe him." Mikey smiled at her, "Your poor little feet must be sore after all that running around."
"I think my ankles are swollen."
"Just a little." He teased, moving to sit between her legs. He took one of her legs and squeezed firmly along her calves. His hands slid down to her ankles and he frowned: they were slightly swollen, he had only been joking but turns out he was right. He rolled her ankle for her, moved her foot so that it pointed and then helped stretch her heel. He squeezed her calf one more time before moving on to her other leg.
"You're so sweet," She babbled, "Thank you for taking care of me."
"No problem babe, somebody has to," He laughed, "And it's not hard work."
She smiled at him, eyes struggling to stay open. He smiled back at her, not that she could see him, and softly told her to go to sleep; he'd take care of her.
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kerasines · 3 years
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GIF Tutorial for Beginners
People keep asking me to teach them how to make gifs and I end up writing them long confusing messages, so I figured maybe it’s time to just write up an actual clean tutorial instead! This is supposed to be for total beginners! (Or people who want to switch to a new process that I’ve curated and streamlined over 8 years of making gifs.) I’ll try to keep this as barebones as possible, and won’t include all the advanced stuff I usually add. I hope it’s easy enough to follow, and I’ll include some links at the end for more stuff. I really do think it’s better to make a few simple gifs before doing more complicated stuff though, just to get used to it!
There will be three sections in this tutorial: #1 Basics - How to make a gif in PS at all #2 Sharpen - How to use sharpen/denoise filters in an easy way #3 Colouring - Just a few very basic adjustment layers
What you need:
A video (most common formats should work, although .mkv doesn’t always)
Photoshop (I use PS CC 2018 - this one because I'm morally opposed to Adobe’s subscription model - but versions aren’t super different from each other)
In the end, you should hopefully be able to make something like this:
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This is gonna be so long. Sorry. You can make a gif with just part #1! The rest is just to make it look better.
#1 Basics
If any of the tools/functions aren’t where they should be for you, your best bet is googling it, you might need to change something in your preferences!
Make sure to save your PS file... often. PS has a tendency to crash, especially on laptops.
First, you need to get the video file. I recommend a shorter video, a few minutes long, if it’s longer you might want to cut it into shorter parts beforehand. This is just because PS’s video import tool sucks.
I chose the Butter MV, specifically Jungkook’s body roll at 1:24 because that’s what I want to look at for the duration of this tutorial. No further questions, thanks.
1. Open PS, go to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers
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2. In the little pop-up, choose the part of the video that you want to gif. This will import every frame of the video into PS as a layer, so it has to be a relatively short part, or it’ll take ages (and gifs can’t be that big anyway). Now you can also see why it’s almost impossible to select the correct part if the video is too long.
The little controls at the bottom are for trimming, the one in the middle just for the preview. Make sure “Make Frame Animation” is selected! Then click OK.
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3. Now you have your layers, and you have a frame animation! On the right are your layers, that’s where we’ll apply the colouring etc. later on. On the bottom, that’s your timeline or frame animation - that’s what the gif will be in the end! So if you delete frames, the layers will still be there, but they won’t show up in the gif. If you click on a frame, you can see the little eye checkmark on the layer that’s currently visible.
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4. The timeline controls at the bottom that are relevant right now: set to “forever” so the gif will loop, you can play the animation with the play button, and you can delete the selected frame(s). The number on each frame is the speed of the gif, depending on the video I usually set it to 0.05 or 0.06 (photoshop lies to you when you play the animation, the only way to test this is to open the finished gif, preferably on tumblr or wherever you want to upload it).
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5. As you can see, the animation starts a bit before the actual part that I want, so go ahead and delete all the frames in the animation that you don’t want! You can delete the corresponding layers too if you want, to make the PS file smaller, but it has no influence on the gif. (Hold Shift to select multiple frames as usual)
6. Next, we’re gonna crop the gif however we want! You can do this with the crop tool in the left sidebar, but with gifs like this where there’s a lot of moving parts, I sometimes just use the selection tool in the left sidebar, like so:
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When you click on different frames, the selection stays, and you can check to make sure Jungkook doesn’t suddenly go out of frame if you crop it like that!
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At this point, make sure the selection/crop isn’t smaller than you want the gif to be! For tumblr, what matters is the width (in pixels) of gifs. In the end, the width dimensions on tumblr should be 540px (1 gif per row), 268px (2 gifs per row), or 177/178px (3 gifs per row). Anything else will lead to very shitty resizing!
For this gif I’m going full sized, meaning 540px wide, so I made sure my selection isn’t smaller than that.
Then just go to Image > Crop, and it’s done!
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7. Check to see if this is what you want, then resize: go to Image > Image Size to resize the picture. Make sure the little “link” between Width and Height is active (to keep the same aspect ratio), then set the width to 540px or whatever you chose. I always set the resample option to Bicubic.
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Once that’s done, set the zoom to 100% right above the timeline, to see what it really looks like.
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Almost done! A little note about the sizing: width is the important part for tumblr, but if you want to make a whole gif set (especially with more than 1 gif per row!!!) make sure to make all the gifs the same height, otherwise they won’t line up and tumblr will do whatever it wants.
I ended up making mine 540 x 400 and ended up with this:
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8. Time to save the gif!! Go to File > Export > Save for Web (OR just use the shortcut Ctrl + Shift + Alt + S) (or whatever it is on Mac).
In the pop-up, you can change things about the gif, but most things should already be the way you want it (Image size, Looping option forever). Selective should be the default, just like the rest.
You can choose between Pattern and Diffusion, some gif makers swear on one or the other, I go back and forth.
On the bottom left, you can see the size of your gif. Keep an eye on that! I believe Tumblr allows every single gif to be up to 10mb, but I try to keep mine under 5mb or close to it, because I think tumblr adds compression if it gets closer to 10mb?? Anyway back in my day you couldn’t upload anything over 1mb. You’ll never know our struggles.
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Then just save it, and that’s it, you made a gif! Well done!! Here’s the end result:
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:)
#2 Sharpen
There are countless ways out there to make gifs as smooth and clean as possible! Here I’ll show you the easiest way, but it also provides a good basis for other methods. The main difficulty is that you you need to sharpen the layers, but you don’t want to 100 layers one by one. So what we’re gonna do is convert the layers into a Smart Object, which functions as one layer!
1. Convert the frame animation timeline to a video timeline with the little button right underneath on the left:
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It should look like this, and I’m sorry but I can’t explain this one because I’m not an expert here, but you can just ignore it:
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2. Select all layers: Select > All Layers, or just manually. 
Then right click on the layers > Convert to Smart Object. Now there’s only one layer left, but don’t worry, the frames are still there!
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3. De-noise! It reduces noise, takes away some of that grain. More necessary in some videos. It also makes it less sharp, so I do this one first. Filter > Noise > Reduce Noise
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My default settings are, Strength: 6, Preserve Details: 60, Reduce Color Noise: 45, Sharpen Details: 25, Remove JPEG Artifact: No. But you can play around, especially with the strength, and see how the little preview looks. Don’t apply too much of it! Or it will look weirdly smooth with no details in the end.
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4. File > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. 
Settings: I usually have mine at Amount: 500, Reduce Noise: 5, and Radius at either 0.2 or 0.3, depending on the video. I’ll actually do 0.3 here, because I find it a bit blurry otherwise. If you sharpen more, it can quickly get grainy.
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The difference isn’t huge, but here’s a little before and after denoise & sharpen:
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5. Technically you can just save it as a gif (save for web) as shown above now, or you can convert it back to a frame animation, which I’d recommend especially if you use certain other sharpening methods (I’ll show you how to convert it back at the end of the colouring part), but for now, let’s go straight to the next part:
#3 Colouring
Now, you CAN do this part right after part #1, still in frame animation, without a smart object. I prefer it like this because sometimes PS acts weird, but if you want to skip the smart object stuff: select all frames, and add the adjustment layers at the very top, above all the other layers. (It only affects selected frames; and it only affects the layers under it.)
The adjustment layers should be above the layer tray, and these are the ones we’ll use today: Brightness/Contrast, Curves, Vibrance, Color Balance, Selective Color.
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All of these are optional! You can do one, or all, or any combination. This is just the very most basic for me to get a gif to a point that I like. I’d recommend sticking to these for a start, but once you get the hang of it, definitely feel free to play around! It’s fun! Every gif maker has different preferences here, too, so there’s tutorials for everything.
1. Curves: Just click Auto, tbh. You can play around, but Auto works fine for me as a start, just to brighten or darken some parts as a base.
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2. Brightness/Contrast: Usually videos are a bit dark, and contrast can help to make it seem sharper AND cut down on gif size, so I usually just up both of them a bit (but not too much! Or it’ll look cheap). Here I put them at B: 19, C: 23
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3. Vibrance: I love very vibrant and colourful gifs, so I usually up the vibrance (and sometimes the saturation). This one is already very vibrant, so I only put +5, but if you try to colour, say, a very moody tv show, this can help wonders, especially if you want to work with the colours more later.
If you prefer less vibrant gifs, you can also lower the values here!
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4. Color Balance: getting a bit more complicated now. Often, videos will have a slight yellow or green or blue tint, and this is where you can correct that. This video is a bit yellow, so I added +17 Blue. It was still too warm, so i added -11 Cyan as well. This neutralized the yellow tint, but I wanted some of the reddish tone back, so I added -5 Magenta. I usually do a similar process like that, depending on the tone. 
Instead of Midtones, you can also do this for Shadows and Highlights individually.
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5. Selective Color: now this is the most complicated, but also the most fun to play around in my opinion! Be careful here, if you do something too extreme it’ll look like shit or make the gif super grainy. I some rough goals in mind here: make the blue hair as blue as possible, make their skin tone a bit less pale, and enhance the black and white (which I always do).
You choose a colour at the top, and then add or subtract cyan/magenta/yellow/black values for that colour.
Skin tone: yellow and red. For this gif, I just added black to both, making them darker. Sometimes, if you change one or both those colours for a different part of the gif (for example, if I wanted to make the background less yellow, I’d subtract yellow from the yellows - but then I’d add yellow to the reds, to make the skin tone natural again.)
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Blue hair: Just ramp up the cyan for the blues. Be careful with putting anything to +100, but here it’s already so bright that it should be fine. His roots are more purple, so I changed the magentas by adding cyan and black, and subtracting magenta and yellow. It’s not super clean, but fine for our purposes.
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Black/white: depending on the gif, I often either add or subtract black to the whites. Adding makes the highlights less blinding, a bit darker, and flatter (I like to do that if one side of the face is bright white in the sunlight, for example). Subtracting creates contrast, makes it brighter, can wash it out. It can also lessen the gif size, and here it’s mostly just the tracksuit instead of important details, so I subtracted black. For the blacks, I almost always just add a bit of black, to make it more intense. Just like adding contrast, this can make the gif seem sharper and less grainy.
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And done! 
6. You could just save it as gif now, but as I said, I prefer to convert it back to frame animation timeline first, if only because I like to let it play through before I save it, and it works better for me there than in the video timeline.
Select all frames, then click the little menu on the top right of the video timeline > Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips
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7. When you scroll down to the bottom of the layers now, the old smart object + adjustment layers should be at the bottom, under all the new layers. Delete the old ones, we don’t need them anymore.
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8. Convert the timeline back to frame animation, by clicking the little button at the bottom left of the video timeline:
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9. Click on the menu top right of the timeline again > Make Frames from Layers
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10. Now, just some potential cleaning left to do. Sometimes, there’s a doubled or empty frame or layer at the beginning or end, just delete those as necessary. The timing of the frames is probably off, too, just select all frames and set the delay time to 0.05 (or whatever).
Now your done! Save as gif, and you should get this:
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I included some bonus links and tips after this but tumblr ate that whole part so I guess it’s going into a separate post. (Here is is)
Anyway, I tried to make this as easy to follow as possible for beginners, but feel free to send me an ask for clarification anytime. Hope this helps, now go make gifs and have fun!!
228 notes · View notes
atlafan · 3 years
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Part One - “Call me Jane.”
a/n: here’s part one of nanny!H, I’m very excited about this series. I’m not sure how many parts it’s going to be, so please don’t ask lmao. Once I know how many parts it’ll be, I’ll make a master post for it. I’m just too excited not at least share the first part because Harry is just too cute in this! Feedback and reblogs are super helpful, and keep me motivated, especially when it comes to writing series. (not proofread) You can support me here if you’re able!
Warnings: none...for now
Words: 4.1K
Pairing: Harry x OC (Jane Watson)
Master Post
Harry found himself in a real bind. He was twenty-six years old, had an early childhood education degree, and the daycare he worked at was going under. He had just been promoted a month prior too, how could things go wrong so quickly? Times like this he really hated that he stayed in the states. Childcare services weren’t nearly as fucked up back home. His dream was to save up enough money to open up his own pre-school at some point, but it was really tough.
There was this weird stigma that if adult men wanted to work with babies and toddlers then that made them a pedophile or something of the sort. That wasn’t the case with Harry. His minor in school was psychology because cognitive development intrigued him. He also loved babies and little ones. He loved watching them learn and discover.
Only now, he was without a job in an already struggling field. He and the other employees weren’t exactly given a big notice before they were told the business was going under. Harry mostly felt bad for the parents of the kids that had to find new child care centers. He knew he’d have to compete with his co-workers for any available jobs, and he knew they were bound to find places before him because they were women. It was their fault, and he knew it. He was experiencing a prejudice that they must face all the time.
He looked into Care.com, but none of the jobs on there seemed like long-term gigs, and he didn’t want to just be a glorified baby sitter. He figured if he could find a well paying nannying job, he could do that for a bit until finding a job at a new facility, or even set up his dream pre-school. During his search on Indeed, he saw a position for a live-in nanny – jackpot! Live-in meant long-term, and long-term meant lots of money. It also meant he could get rid of his apartment and not have to pay rent for a while. He clicked on the ad that was posted only a couple of weeks ago.
Live-in Nanny Needed for Help with Eight-Month-Old
Minimum requirements:
·        Bachelor’s in either early childhood education or elementary education
·        At least two years’ experience working babies/children
Three professional references required
Applicant is subject to thorough background check for the safety of the child and mother.
Other tasks as needed include:
·        Cooking
·        Light cleaning
·        Grocery shopping/running other errands
If applicant is selected, they will be paid a flat rate of $1600 bi-weekly, will live in “in-law” section of the house, and a car will be provided for them. A resume, cover letter, and three professional references may be sent directly to [email protected]
After reading everything over, this seemed like Harry’s best bet. Some of it seemed a little too good to be true, but this was a risk he needed to take right now. He just hoped the position hadn’t already been filled. That night he spent some time updating his LinkedIn, making sure all of his privacy settings were up to date on all of his social media, and then wrote out a resume and cover letter. The last part was his least favorite because he knew a proper resume and cover letter had to be curated to the specific job, and it made things all the more tedious. By the time he was done, it was late. He didn’t want to seem unprofessional, so he waited to send the email until the next morning.
Subject: Nannying Advert on Indeed
Good morning,
My name is Harry and I’m interested in the nannying advert you’ve posted on Indeed. For the last four years I’ve been working at P.B. & J.’s Child Care Center, and was recently promoted to team lead. Unfortunately, the business itself couldn’t remain afloat, and I was laid off.
Attached are my resume and cover letter. I’d be happy to provide the three references if I end up being considered for the position.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Harry
Treat People With Kindness
He closes his laptop with a satisfied sigh after proofreading his email ten different times before he hit send. He takes a sip from his coffee, and sits back on his sofa. Now all he had to do was wait.
//
There was radio silence for two days. Harry was starting to think he would need to keep job hunting. He had bills to pay, and the last thing he wanted to do was ask his parents for help. They already looked down on his profession as it was. If he had his own car he’d become an uber driver or something, but he didn’t so he couldn’t. Then, by some stroke of luck, at 4:55PM on a Thursday, he gets an email from the address he had been hoping to see pop up.
Subject: Re: Nannying Advert on Indeed
Good evening Harry,
My name is Jane Watson, thank you so much for your application. My apologies it has taken me a couple of days to get back to you. I am usually more responsive, but things have been a little crazy at work as of late. Upon further review of your resume and over letter, I would like to offer you an interview this Saturday at noon, if you are available. I can be flexible if that day and time do not work for you.
If you are able to come, and are still interested in the position, I ask that you please bring your references with you. I will want to call them right away. I am sure you can understand me wanting to thoroughly look into you before letting you into my daughter’s life.
I look forward to hearing back from you soon.
All my best,
Jane
Harry responded to her right away, he didn’t care how eager he seemed. He told her Saturday at noon worked great, and that he would definitely have his references, and anything else he needed to provide. She emailed him back an hour or so later with her cell phone number and address. For the first time in a while, Harry felt like he could breathe again. He knew it wasn’t a done deal that he’d be getting the job, but he was being given a chance, and for that he was thankful.
//
He wanted to make a good first impression on Saturday, so he made sure to wash his hair in the shower, and use his good mousse so his hair would look more orderly. He shaved to give himself that clean and sleek look, this was not a day to appear scruffy. He knew he didn’t need to be overly dressed up, but he also knew that you’re supposed to dress for the job you want and not the job you have. He irons a pair of tan slacks and pairs it with a blue button up. Not to brag, but his bum looked great in these slacks, and it was giving him all the confidence in the world. He puts on a floral tie, just to show a bit of his personality, makes sure his nail polish isn’t chipped, and makes sure all of his rings are looking shiny. He takes an uber out to Jane’s house. It was in a gated community, which he was expecting since he looked up the house beforehand. He wondered what she or her husband did for work to live in a place like this. Or perhaps she inherited the home? Either way, he was excited.
He thanks the driver, and knocks on the door as he was instructed to do. A woman with silver hair that was up in a nice bun opens the door.
“Hello, you must be Mr. Styles.” She smiles.
“Yes, hello.” He smiles back.
“I’m MaryAnne, please come in.” She steps aside to let Harry in.
“Thank you.”
“Miss Watson is just pumping, but you can wait for her here in her office.” She leads Harry down a corridor where he meets a grand double door. MaryAnne opens them and shows him inside. “Make yourself comfortable, dear. Can I get you anything? Coffee, water, tea?”
“I’m all set, but thank you very much.”
The woman nods and leaves him in the room alone. He stays standing as he didn’t want to assume where he should be sitting. There was a gorgeous desk with two chairs on the other side, but there was also a small round table with four chairs around it in the corner. She clearly held a lot of meetings here, or so it would seem. To pass the time he looks over her bookshelves, scanning over what she might be into. She seemed to be into fiction, but he had never heard of any of the books on some of the shelves, or the author. She had several by the same person. Before he could look further, he heard the clacking of heels on the hardwood floors approaching him.
Everything stopped when she walked in. Jane had her hair up in a flowing ponytail, a white blouse covered her top half, he notices that the first few buttons were left undone, probably to help with her pumping, and she had a black pencil skirt on that just came to her knees. She was short, and a little voluptuous, not that Harry was checking her out.  
“Hello, Mr. Styles, I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” He goes to stick his hand out for her to shake, but she walks around him and sits down at her desk. “Please, have a seat.”
He swallows and sits down.
“Y-you can just call me Harry if you like, Mrs. Watson.”
“I’m a Miss not a missus.” She says as she takes out a folder with a few sheets in it and a pen. “It says here you graduated Summa Cum Laude from Lesley University. That’s an incredible place to get a degree in education.”
“Thank you, I got a pretty decent scholarship, it was my reach school. I minored in psychology as well. I did my practicum hours at a daycare center that specialized in caring for children with disabilities. So, I’ve worked with all sorts of children. I prefer working with infants and toddlers, though.”
“And why is that?” She looks at him, clicking her pen, ready to take notes.
“Well, I just have more fun with them, to be honest. I like watching them discover new things. My favorite thing to do while working in the baby room at my last job was working with the babies on their tummy times. It was always rewarding to watch them get stronger. I feel like I just bond with them better.”
“I need to ask you some personal questions since this is a live-in position.”
“Of course.” Harry nods.
“Are you in any sort of relationship with anyone?”
“No, I’m single.”
“Have you ever been arrested, or do you have any sort of criminal history?”
“No.”
“I’m not one to judge, I think everyone deserves a second chance, I just have to ask these sort of things.” She says.
“I don’t have a criminal record, Miss Watson.”
“History of drug use?”
“I smoked a bit of weed when I was younger, but I don’t anymore. An edible once in a while, maybe, but never when I’m on the clock.”
“Just marijuana?”
“I’ve done shrooms a few times, but nothing other than that. Stupid kid stuff.”
“Again, not judging. I’d prefer you don’t have any drugs in the house, unless they’re for medical use. I know edibles can be prescribed by doctors for anxiety and whatnot.” Harry nods at that. “What about alcohol? You’re twenty-six, you must enjoy a drink after a long day.”
“A glass of red once in a while, sure.” He nods. “But I’m not really a heavy drinker, I never have been. I’d say if anything I’m a social drinker, but you watch me carefully at a party you’ll notice that I nurse the same drink.” He smirks.
“I’m the same way. A little bit of a buzz is fun, but anything more can be a bit scary. I actually cannot remember the last time I had a real drink.” She looks off in thought.
“Well, can’t you drink now that the baby’s here?”
“And have to succumb to a pump and dump?” She scoffs. “No way, that would be a total waste. It’s torture enough to sit there while a machine sucks the milk out of my-“ She stops herself. “Sorry.” She shakes her head. “Anyways, your resume was impressive, and you were quite articulate in your cover letter. You’re the only candidate I’ve invited for an interview.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” She nods. “I really wanted someone with experience, not someone fresh out of college looking for a place to live. You’d really be okay with living here?”
“Honestly, you’d be doing me a favor. My long-term goal is to either have a daycare or pre-school of my own someday. Not having to pay rent for a while would really help me save up for that.”
“That’s an incredible goal to have, Harry.” She smiles, impressed by his ambition. “What questions do you have for me?”
“I just want to clarify, your daughter is eight months?” Jane nods. “And what’s her name?”
“Lilly.” Jane smiles.
“That’s a beautiful name.” Harry smiles. “Why exactly do you need a live-in nanny?”
“I work a lot.” She sighs. “And I’m a single mom. I want her to always have someone here that she can depend on and feel comfortable with. Sometimes my work drags me out in the middle of the night, or I have to take a phone call at an odd hour. I just want someone else here in case I can’t be if something comes up.”
“So, her father’s not in the picture?”
“No.” Her features sour a bit. “He doesn’t even know she exists to be perfectly honest with you. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up, and I decided not to tell him about her. He was a deadbeat moocher, he would have been useless.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but thank you for telling me. May I ask, how old are you?”
“Twenty-nine, does that matter?”
“No! No, I was just more so curious. You seem pretty successful to be in a home like this. In the advert, you stated I’d be given a car as well, that’s not exactly cheap.”
“You’ll be given access to one of my cars.” She says. “I’m not giving you a car, make no mistake about that.” She smirks. “I’m an author, a successful one.” Harry tries to think if he’s ever heard of a Jane Watson before, but he’s coming up blank. “You’ve never heard of me because I have a pen name. If it’s all the same, I don’t really want to share it with you. Not yet, anyways.”
“Sure…wait…are you offering me the job?”
“Not quite. I’d like you to meet my daughter. I want to see how she interacts with you.”
“I’d love to meet Lilly.” He smiles.
“Great, before we do that, do you have more questions?”
“Yes, who’s MaryAnne? Is she, like, a maid or housekeeper?”
“No.” Jane laughs. “She’s my personal assistant. I usually answer the door myself, but pumping took a bit longer than usual.”
“When did you publish your first work?”
“When I was twenty.” She smiles. “I was still in school, and I decided just to self-publish. It took off, and a few companies reached out to me. I eventually got an agent, and the rest was history. I’m a fast writer, I’m able to churn out more projects than most people, and for whatever reason they keep becoming hits. One of the reasons I travel a lot is that a couple of my works are being turned into television shows, and working out those contracts is a lot. I want to be a part of the process to make sure the stories are told correctly.”
“That’s incredible!”
“it is.” She nods. “I never thought I’d be a television producer, but here I am. I don’t really want Lilly around all that, so there’s another reason for having a live-in nanny.”
“This may seem like a silly question, but will I have time off?”
“Oh my goodness, of course! The salary is negotiable as well. You’ll have weekends off, as well as all bank and national holidays. You’ll also earn vacation time and sick leave like at any other job. You’ll be given a benefits package as well, if you need health insurance.”
“You…you provide stuff like that?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
“I’ve just never heard of a nannying job quite like this before.” He blinks. “It feels too good to be true.”
“I’m just a firm believer in compensating someone properly. I believe in investing in the people you have.”
“Right.” He swallows. He almost starting to feel like he was going to be her sugar baby or something, but he obviously knew that wasn’t the case. “You asked me about my dating life, what about yours?”
“I’m also single. Lilly is my top priority, and then comes my work. I’m completely fulfilled as is.” She stands from her desk. “Come, I’ll give you a tour of the house, and of the in-law space, and then you can meet Lilly.”
“Okay.” He stands up and follows her out of the office.
She shows him the living room, which felt more like a study. There was an entertainment room with a huge flat screen, deluxe loungers, a pool table, and bar. She shows him to the kitchen which was equally as extravagant. She brings him upstairs to show him all of the bedrooms.
“This is Lilly’s room.” Jane says proudly.
“it’s beautiful, I love the light purple.”
“So do I.” She says. “My room is down the hall, don’t think you need a tour of that.” She laughs and they head back downstairs. “Here’s the inside entrance to the in-law, but there’s also an exterior entrance you can use…or if you have guests over.” Harry’s in awe of the space. It was larger than his apartment. “It’s a one bedroom flat essentially. There’s a full bath en suite, and there’s a half bath over there. Open concept kitchen and living area. It’s fully furnished as well. Feel free to decorate it however you like. I just ask that this space stays yours. There’s really no reason for you to bring Lilly in here, you know?”
“Sure, yeah. This is amazing.”
“I’m glad you like it. Let’s just hope Lilly like you.” Jane smirks, and they head back to the main part of the house, and into Lilly’s playroom. She was sitting with MaryAnne in a large rocking chair. “M, you can feel free to go back to your office if you like. Harry’s going to get acquainted with Lilly.”
“Of course.” MaryAnne stands up with the baby, and hands her over to Jane.
“She has an office here too?” Harry asks.
“Of course she does, and one of the guest rooms upstairs is hers to use when she needs it.” She kisses the top of her daughter’s head. “Lilly,” she coos, “I have someone I’d like you to meet.” She gestures for Harry to take her, and he happily does so.
“Hey, baby girl.” Harry coos. Bright hazel eyes look up at him in wonder. He lets her latch onto his index finger. “It’s so nice to meet you.” He looks at Jane. “She’s precious, Miss Watson.”
“Isn’t she?” Jane beams. “She’s really been enjoying her bouncy, and messing around with her blocks. I have some CD’s I like having her listen to as well. Oh! We did a paint with pudding night as a sensory play thing, it was a hoot.” She chuckles.
“Those are great, aren’t they? Very stimulating, and it teaches the child that sometimes messes are okay.” He looks down at Lilly and smiles. “May I sit with her in the rocking chair?”
“Please!” She gestures to it, and she sits down on the loveseat in the room. Harry sits down with Lilly, cradling her carefully. He adjusts her so she’s able to stand on his lap. She bounces herself and giggles. “Look at that!” Jane exclaims. “I love it when she does that.”
“She’s awfully sweet.” Harry smiles, and then he looks at Jane. “How much do you feed her?”
“I give her roughly twenty-four to thirty-two ounces a day. You’ll know how hungry she is or isn’t in the moment. I’ve started giving her pureed butternut squash, mashed bananas and strawberries, she’s got that puffed baby cereal as well. I’ve also started giving her ground chicken in really small doses just to get her some protein, but right now I’ve mostly been sticking to fruits and veggies. You must know a lot about what foods to give a baby?”
“I do.” He nods. “You’re still producing that much milk to give her daily?”
“I’ve almost been wishing I’d dry up. I get so sore somedays.” Jane sighs. “But I figure it’s good for her to have it while I can still make it. I’m not opposed to formular or anything…but I like bonding with her in that way. I got rid of her baby acne by rubbing my nipple on her skin, it was like magic.”
“It’s certainly a trick of the trade.” He smirks at her. “I remember learning that in one of my courses, and I was amazed. You all are super humans.”
Jane watches Harry play on the ground with Lilly for a bit. Harry was already so wonderful with her. Harry starts to smell something, and so does Jane.
“Think it’s time for a diaper change.” He chuckles and picks her up. “Would you like me to change her?”
“Yeah, I’d like to see you do it.”
He brings Lilly over to the changing table, and lays her down.
“I know you’re all warm and cozy, but I need to disrupt that for a moment.” He says to the baby girl who was babbling and blowing little spit bubbles, totally unbothered. Harry unsnaps her onesie, and lifts her legs to detach the diaper. His eyes widen at the type of diaper that’s on her. “You cloth diaper?” He looks at Jane.
“It’s better for the environment.” She shrugs. “There’s a trashcan for the…um, poop, and there’s another can for the diapers. I give her a regular diaper for bedtime just because it’s easier to change her in the middle of the night and in the morning, but daytime I use the cloth diapers.”
“Makes sense to me.” Harry disposes of everything, and grabs a few wipes to clean Lilly up. She took a powerful stinky.
“I blame it on the pureed peas.” Jane laughs.
“It doesn’t even phase me anymore, honestly.” Harry says as he gets a little baby powder on her. He grabs a spare cloth diaper, and gets it on her. He snaps her onesie back together and lifts her up. “There we go, good as new, darling girl.” Lilly blows some bubbles at Harry, and blows some back, making her giggle. Jane beams at the two of them.
“It’s about time for her afternoon nap. Would you like to put her down?”
“I’d love to.”
Harry carries Lilly upstairs with Jane. She flips on Lilly’s white noise machine, and makes sure her favorite blankies are in the crib. Harry sits down in the large chair in the corner of the room and starts to rock her gently, giving her soothing rubs. Jane watches as Lilly’s eyelids start to droop. She fights it at first, but Harry continues to soothe her until she’s out like a light. He carefully stands up and sets her down into her crib. The two back out of the room quietly, and make their way down the stairs.
“Let’s go back to my office.” Jane says, and Harry follows her there. Once they’re both seated, she starts speaking again. “Well, the job is yours if you want it.”
“Really?” Harry felt every worry from his life leave his body.
“Yes.” She chuckles. “You’ve really impressed me, and I think Lilly’s quite taken with you already. I’d love to have you as her nanny.” She takes out a few forms. “May I have your references? The background check will take about a week. How soon could you start after that?”
“Right away, honestly.” He hands her a sheet with his references.
“Here are the tax forms you’ll need to fill out, a form for direct deposit, and some information on your benefits. You can get everything back to me by the end of next week.”
“I can’t thank you enough for this opportunity, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to get started, Miss Watson.” He stands to shake her hand, and she stands as she takes it.
“Please, you can call me Jane.”
400 notes · View notes
gr-ogu · 3 years
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Hello! As requested, here is a tutorial on how I make my gifs. I would like to preface this by saying there are many ways to make gifs, and there’s no right or wrong answer imo. This is just how I personally go about doing so!
I will be using PS CC 2017, but as long as you have the video timeline option, it shouldn’t matter too much; on any version of PS, you should be able to adapt anything I mention here! You will also need some kind of screen recording software. I’ll talk a little more about that under the cut.
To start, you need the source material you will be making the gifs from! I get mine from snahp(.)it (avoiding links so tumblr hopefully doesn’t banish this from the tags lmao) and I always opt for either 1080p or 2160p. Not all laptops will support 2160p as it’s 4K, but either works great! You just want your gifs to be the best quality possible.
Next is where the screen recording comes in. I don’t use the screencapping method to make my gifs (where you use a program to cap a clip and then load those caps into a stack in PS). This isn’t for any particular reason… it’s just how my friends, (who very kindly taught me to gif), had always done it, so it’s now how I do it too. Personally, I find the quality to be just as good as the screencapping method, and have never noticed a difference between the two.
As I have a PC, I use the software built into it for screen-recording. If you go here: theverge(.)com/2020/4/21/21222533/record-screen-pc-windows-laptop-xbox-game-bar-how-to – you can see how to use the XBOX screenrecorder to record from files you have d*wnloaded. This also works on some streaming sites, but I think it depends on what browser you use. Personally, I recommend Firefox, as that seems to bypass a lot of the blocking and ads that occur when trying to do this sort of thing.
For MAC users, I have been told handbrake works well, as it converts MKV files to MP4, which can then be used to make gifs. You only need to convert part of the file to MP4 depending on how much you want to gif, and this also bypasses the screenrecording stage, as you can edit MP4 clips on Quicktime. I am told you can split them into smaller clips by going to edit > trim and it saves the new clip!
I have also used anyvideoconverter for small clips, but I can’t say what it does to the quality of your video, or how big of a file it lets you put in! With the XBOX screenrecorder, it doesn’t matter what type of video files you get, as the recording will save to MP4 anyway.
LOADING YOUR FRAMES
Now, go ahead and record whatever clips you want to gif. Make sure you have the video timeline open, by going to window > timeline. Then, go to file > import > video frames to layers.
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Next, select and open your clip from where it has saved (with the XBOX recorder, it saves in video > captures). You should see a little window pop up, where you can move the sliders back and forth to clip your recording to whichever part(s) you specifically want to gif. I recommend trying not to load a lot of frames into photoshop at once, but I would be a hypocrite to say that, since I do it a lot lmao. Just be patient if you do!
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Once you have chosen the length, click okay. Never, EVER, I repeat NEVER click the button that says “limit to every __ frames”. This really ruins the flow and quality of your gif—it’s better to have shorter, but smoother gifs, I promise. And with tumblr’s new 10 MB limit, it shouldn’t be a problem anyway!
Then, your frames should open up. What we want to do is make them into a smart object, so we can edit all the layers at the same time. To do this, click the small button in the left-hand corner. ALWAYS click this first. If you don’t, it will only convert the first frame to a smart object and the gif won’t work.
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Give it a second to sort itself out, then, on the right-hand side, select all your frames at once using the shift key.
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Then, go to filter > convert for smart filters. This might take a minute. Don’t click anything else in case PS gets angry lmao, just leave it for a second and it’ll do its thing. The more frames you have, the longer it takes! Now we have our gif, but it needs to be cropped, sharpened and coloured!
CROPPING
You want to start by selecting the rectangular marquee tool on the left-hand side, then drag it across by clicking and highlighting the area you would like to crop your gif to, like so:
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What I tend to do is select everything inside the black lines you sometimes get around your gif (this depends on what file you d*wnload), and also the tiniest bit inside the sides. This is because I’ve found if you crop it right up to the edge, you get a tiny bit of transparency on the sides of your gifs, which I’d rather avoid.
Once you have your desired selection, go to image > crop. Now, the dimensions for tumblr are 540px width, so all your gifs have to be that width. However, the length is up to you. I really like big gifs, so sometimes I even make a full square, or even longer. It’s entirely up to you, and what kind of set you want to make.
For the purposes of this gif, I will stick to what I usually go for, 540px by 350 px. This will mean you’ll have to crop some width off, but that’s okay, since Marisa isn’t central anyway. The cropping is always trial and error for me, as sometimes people move out of the frame within in the gif. The best thing to do is just try it, and then move the slider in the timeline window at the bottom to see if the person stays inside the gif, and if not, adjust accordingly.
Next, go to image > image size:
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In this box, if I put the width as 540, the gif is a smaller height than I want, as it keeps to the dimensions of the gif when you load it into PS. That’s okay, just put the height you want instead, and we’ll crop off the excess.
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Then click OK. Using the rectangular marquee tool again, we need to remove the excess width. Part of the reason I like this version of PS is that it tells you the width of your selection as you do it, but you can always use the ruler as a guide, and check the size of your image by going to image > image size again.
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Again, use image > crop, and your gif should now be the correct size!
You can also use the crop tool in the timeline window to crop the length of your gif:
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However, I tend to wait until later on to do this (which will be explained further down!)
SHARPENING
Next you want to go to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen.
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These are my settings. However, 0.4px is very sharp, too much so, but that’s easily fixed.
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Go to filter > blur > Gaussian blur and then set it to 1.0.
Now on the right-hand side, we need to reduce the blur, so double click the little adjustment button, and change the opacity of the blur. I usually go for 20-30%!
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Then click OK, and that’s your sharpening done!
COLOURING
I picked this scene on purpose as it’s dark, so good for showing how to colour a gif. I have a base psd which consists of some very basic adjustments, but it mostly exists so I don’t forget what adjustment layers I like to use. I adjust them every time I make a gif, essentially colouring each gif from scratch.
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In this case, the psd actually makes it darker. So, what I will do is turn each layer off, and adjust as I go. A lot of people say using lots of adjustment layers ruins the quality of your gif… I have never found this to be true, as long as you are gentle with them. If you whack the brightness right up to the top, it’s going to ruin your gif no matter if you use 1 adjustment layer or 100. I would just say use your common sense, and adjust a little at a time!
I start with a simple black to white gradient map set to soft light, because I think it helps you see depth once you add some brightness to it. I usually do this on about 10%, or more if needed. It’s probably unnecessary, I just like how it looks!
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Then, I move onto using curves and levels. This is where things can diverge depending on who you’re colouring. If this person is white, it doesn’t matter too much. If they’re not white, you don’t want to white wash them. My best advice is to play around with it. By adding vibrance and other (usually the red) selective colour settings later, you can ensure you don’t change the person’s skin tone from what it originally was. You can also use layer masks at varying opacities (various shades of grey), on your curves and levels, to remove some brightening so that you’re not changing anyone’s skin colour. Just brighten slowly and check in with yourself honestly about how your gif looks.
Some people don’t like using levels, or curves. It’s completely up to you. I tend to use both because levels are good for bringing depth, even if not brightening (though I like to use them for that as well). 
One thing you can do is use the white point of the gif to make PS adjust the curves itself, however I like to drag the sliders myself and see what it looks like. Just make sure it’s not too bright, as we will be using further layers to brighten more, after.
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Next is levels. The slider on the left controls the black point, the one in the middle controls the midtones, and the one on the right controls the white points. The black brings depth, the midtones adjust the overall brightness, and the white points produce stronger highlights. Again, you’ll get a feel for how this works as you practice. Just don’t use the white point excessively, especially if your characters are not white.
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Then I add vibrance (+20!), because we’ve removed a lot of it when lightening the gif. Next is exposure, which I find brings out the highlight and shadow areas more effectively:
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Then colour balance! This helps with scenes that might be a certain colour, i.e. too blue, too green, too red, etc. Moving the sliders in the opposite direction of the colour your gif is will counteract it. The best thing to do when accounting for different colours, is to make a new layer every time you change colour, so that you don’t get confused. I always add a new layer for colour balance and selective colour if I want to change more than one thing. So one for red, one for yellow, one for pink, etc. 
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A layer of brightness just to make the gif pop, and because the scene is extra dark, I added a very gentle extra curves layer:
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SAVING YOUR GIF
Time to save the gif. You can go ahead and file > export > save for web (legacy) now, but then you’ll have to reopen the gif to reset the frame rate from 0.07, to 0.05. Instead of doing that, I use a modified action. The original was made by the very talented @elenafisher! So I do not take credit for that at all. You can find the original here: elenafisher(.)tumblr(.)com/post/190817437374/gif-sharpening-action-2-preview-download and in my resources tag. Please reblog it if you’re going to use this!
To use an action, first make sure you have actions turned on in window > actions. To load in your action, go to the little lines circled, and then load the action from your downloads:
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Obviously if you don’t want to sharpen your gifs yourself, you can use the action as it is, and it will give you a beautiful glowing effect. If you’d just like to use it to flatten your gif into frames like I do, make sure to take out all the items I have highlighted:
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Until it looks like this!
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Make sure you have the layer under the file name highlighted, and then click the play button at the bottom! (If you get a screen saying select all frames cannot be found, don’t worry, just click continue!) You can delete the layer that does that if you want, I just keep it in case I realise I’ve forgotten to do something, because you can click cancel and edit your gif before you flatten it. Of course you can undo the steps to get back to the smart object version of your gif, it just takes longer!
And now your gif is in frames and set to 0.05 already, so you don’t have to change the speed! All you need to do now before saving is change the gif cycle to “forever” in the bottom left-hand corner:
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Then to save the gif go to file > export > save for web (legacy). Sometimes, the gif is bigger than the tumblr 10MB limit. You’ll be able to see this in the bottom left-hand corner of the gif save settings. If this is the case, I like to preview the gif, to see whether it would be best to cut frames off of the beginning or the end, or both. When you’ve decided, you can select the frames at the bottom, and in the right-hand side panel, and delete them both using the little bins/trash icons.
I keep checking and deleting frames until I get the gif under 10 MB! Just don’t delete frames from the middle, as then you’ll have the same issue as if you selected “every other frame” when making the gif: it won’t flow!
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Lastly, these are my save settings:
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So that’s it! That’s how I make all my gifs. Blending I do when the gifs are in the grouped, smart filter stage, whereas text I add on during the framing section above! Really hope this is helpful, please feel free to ask any questions you may have! 💖
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90sbokuto · 4 years
Text
“ pretty setter squad + your birthday ”
including: oikawa, kageyama, sugawara, kenma and akaashi
genre: extreme fluff 
tags: birthday, setters and fluff
a/n: the pretty setter squad celebrating their s/o’s birthday is golden 😌🤚 i absolutely adore this AND THE SIMP IN ME IS CRYING SHDJBJKABD ngl this one hit a lil close to home cause my birthday was last weekend 😭
request: “Heyyy could you maybe do head canons for what kind of gift the pretty setter squad (you pick one if they’re too many) would get their s/o on their birthday??? 💖💖💖” 
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— toru oikawa
-    he’s a pretty boy for sure, if anyone HASN’T noticed ahem, please refer to the gif above 
-    def the type to take you on a date for your birthday and surprise you with a necklace, ring or some sort of jewelry 
-    extra points if you put it on or ask him to help you put it on right there, on the spot 
-    specifically loves getting you little and necklaces, he thinks they look classy and he loves to see your reaction and how you look 🥺
-    in fact he would probably have the exact measurements for all that on the notes app in his phone ahsasdkasjhdas dawg you’d be so lucky,,
-     i can only imagine his love language being a mix of gifts and words of affirmation
-     for SURE to text you a long paragraph about how much you mean to him, how you’re his pretty baby, how honored he is to celebrate your birthday with him and how amazing he wants your special day to be 
-      outside of that, he’d be such a big nerd when it comes to listening to the things you like
-       and if he’s not sure, please be expecting a gift card to a place he’s taken you before or have talked about before
-      you’re his little cutie right? and he thinks it’s only right that he knows what you like
-      if you even remotely mention a certain book you like, he kinda looks into it and keeps a mental note that this is something you would potentially want
-      oikawa is very attentive, especially when it comes to you and quite frankly, this makes birthdays special for you!! all he wants is for you to be happy and not have to worry about anything on your big day 
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— tobio kageyama 
-      crackhead shit man, but i swear it’d be so enjoyable
-      HIM AND HINATA CAME UP WITH THE BRILLIANT IDEA TO THROW A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR YOU AT AN ARCADE
-      and everyone else knew about it except you
-      so kageyama said you guys were gonna go bowling since the arcade and karaoke room was in the same building,, but he was adamant that y’all had to do karaoke first 
-      so he led you to this dark room in the arcade and once he flipped the light on, all of you guys friends cheered “ surprise!! ”
-      he was BEAMING seeing your reaction 🥺
-      you had happy tears in your eyes ! all of this was just organized specifically for you !
-      there were streamers everywhere, balloons, confetti, everything really ! and they were in all your favorite colors :)
-      “ happy birthday y/n!! ” he cheered along, kissing you on the cheek
-       y’all did everything under the sun that night, laser tag, bowling, karaoke, arcade games 
-       and suga pushed kags to give a lil speech wishing you a happy birthday!!
-       lastly, the birthday cake was wheeled out! :) it was a cute little white and blue cake that said “ happy birthday y/n ” with the reaction meme you always send
-       cause god forbid he put tanaka and noya in charge of helping out with the cake 👁👄👁
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— sugawara koushi
-      he’d be quite confused on what to surprise you with, because he’s always trying to top the birthday from the year before and try something new
-      when he was talking with noya and asahi, and brought up that he doesn’t know what to get you, noya brought the idea up to go somewhere
-      he’d never really asked you where you wanted to travel to before and didn’t want to ask you and give any hint about the surprise
-      so he impulsively bought two tickets to maui, hawaii for the weekend of your birthday
-      over that week , you begin to notice that some of your favorite clothes are going missing, including underwear, socks, shoes, etc LMFAOO AND HE DOESN’T TELL YOU HE’S TRYING TO PACK AND SURPRISE YOU
-       and the night before the flight, he goes out to get dinner and leaves the ticket in an envelope on the nightstand, with a note that says, “ happy birthday baby! ”
-        as you tear open the envelope, there lies the flight ticket and a note that says to check the closet
-        you open the closet door to one of your suitcases packed to the brim, and as you open it, there lies all your favorite clothes and stuff you normally use on a daily basis
-        suga just does NOT miss and we love to see it
-        when he gets back, you just pull him into a big hug and he’s confused for a moment due to the escapades involved with trying to get the food and then realizes
-         he hugs you back and says softly to you
-         “ happy birthday sweetheart .. ” 
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— kenma kozume  
-         god lmFAO , out of the blue he just texts kuroo and asks how to wrap a polaroid
-          most likely orders your birthday gift months in advance but just never wraps it 👁👄👁
-          he noticed that you always like to take pictures whenever the two of you go somewhere, as you say, “ to document the moment.” 
-          will he fight someone over having the last one of your favorite color in their cart somehow? probably. is it worth it? no. is it funny? hilarious. 
-           kuroo has to steal his laptop just so he’ll stop arguing with this random lady who was just trying to buy it for their granddaughter
-            in the end though , he ended up finding a tutorial on YouTube on how to wrap the little box for the Polaroid and it actually came out really cute
-            there’s a little bow on it and all 🥺
-            when he gives it to you and you tear of the wrapping paper , he feels the excitement in the pit of his stomach
-             he got to make his - insert name’s - birthday remarkable and the way your smile lights up the room when you realize what your present is, makes him just as happy
-             “ i love it kenma! thank you! ” you exclaim, before kissing him on the cheek
-             “ i’m happy you like it, kitten. ” he says, flashing you a soft smile
-             and the first photo you take using the polaroid is one of kenma eating a slice of your vanilla birthday cake 
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— akaashi keiji
-  first off, you’d be getting roses ,, akaashi would do classic things for you and roses are the perfect present to start your birthday off
-             he planned a surprise birthday date !! going to a carnival later that night and taking you to all the fun little rides
-              you’d been talking about going out and doing something fun for the past few weeks too so it was perfectly
-              bokuto did @ you on twitter trying to fight you because ‘fridays are for the boys’, yes even though it IS your birthday NDSJFSD 😔✊
-               he won you a big duck plushie 🥺 and y’all were stumped about what to name him while you ate dinner
-                “ what about cheese? he is orange-ish. ” he tried not to laugh through a sip of water
-                “ i’m not naming the duck cheese.” you laughed, staring at the big duck in a chair next to the both of you
-                “ what if cheddar is his first name and then his last name is cheese?” you said before burying your face in the menu just to suppress laughter
-                nevertheless though, y’all both bust UP before eating
-                and as you both finish your meals and you think akaashi’s gonna get up to pay, waiters surround your table and they began singing happy birthday before putting a little chocolate lava cookie on the table
-               “ happy birthday love! ” he said, bringing your hand up to his lips before kissing it softly 
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“It’s going to be okay.”
I just did a couple of my comfort characters for this one. Send in requests if you want to see specific characters, I’d love to write for y’all’s comfort characters too 🤍
Haikyū!! Masterlist
Pairing(s): Suna Rintarō x Gender Neutral! Reader, Miya Atsumu x Gender Neutral! Reader, Tsukishima Kei x Gender Neutral! Reader, Bokuto Kōtarō x Gender Neutral! Reader, Oikawa Tōru x Gender Neutral! Reader
Warnings: Fluff/Comfort, Reader is stressed out because of jobs/midterms/college in general, reader cries
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Suna Rintarō:
It had been a rough week.
It felt like everything was going wrong. Day in and day out.
It felt like the universe was hell bent on making you break, this past week.
You worked as a barista, while you got yourself through college. 
Not an easy job, despite what some people liked to believe.
And with each day came a new promise.
Monday? A trip to the ER with second and third degree burns on your arms, when an angry customer had taken out their anger on you.
Tuesday? Your boss had yelled at you - humiliated you in front of the rest of your coworkers.
Wednesday? You ended up not realizing that yo were decorated in chocolate syrup, when you slumped on your bed, having to wash the sheets and most of you laundry, after.
Thursday? You’d tripped while at work and gotten to go home early, with your face burning in embarrassment at the snickers of other college students.
Friday? A pop quiz that you were 50% sure you failed.
Now it was Saturday, your studying? Done. Your assignments? Completed.
But you still felt the stress of the past week weighing on you.
So when you started tearing up, Suna couldn’t say he was surprised. He wished he could have made this past week easier for you.
Midterms were coming up, as well, just adding to the stress you were already feeling.
So, your boyfriend just does what comes natural to him, when it comes to you.
Rintarō doesn’t waste a moment when he returns from practice, spotting you slumped over on the couch, glaring at the floor while you tried not to let any tears fall from your eyes. With your choice comfort movie playing on the screen, he knew he had to do something.
   Even if you had been pushing him away out of frustration, for the duration of this entire week.
   Rintarō walks over to you and gently scoops you up in his arms, before sitting on the couch with you in his lap. Well-manicured nails begin to softly and affectionately run over your scalp, bringing a comfort to you that you could no longer deny you needed. Desperately.
   He tugs you gently so you’re comfortable in his lap before he brings a calloused hand to your cheek, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone softly. He can’t help his sweet, soft smile as he sees the first tears trickle down your cheeks. He normally hated to see you cry, but he knew that you needed to get this out.
   Sometimes, people just needed to scream and cry to get pent up emotion out. So when you started sobbing, completely collapsing against your boyfriend’s chest, he pulls you as close to him as you can possibly get, rocking you as he cradles your body against his own. 
   “There’s my baby, let it out...” His tone is soft as his hand holds your head against his chest. “Let it all out. It’s going to be okay. I’m here and I’ve got you.” 
   He doesn’t quite know how long it is until your sobs quiet down, the crying wearing you out, but it doesn’t matter to him. He snatches the remote up to restart the movie that you’d failed to get through, earlier, before tossing that same remote across the couch so he could readjust your bodies.
   Leaning his shoulders and head against the pillow and armrest, he reclines himself, allowing you to get comfortable on top of him. As you rest on him, he brings a hand to your cheek once again, wiping away any remnants of the tears that had previously decorated your cheeks.
   “It’s going to be okay, baby. I promise.” 
Miya Atsumu: 
Being stressed around your boyfriend?
Unheard of.
Atsumu is a perceptive little shit who picks up on the smallest changes in your mood.
And he will do everything in his power to reassure you, or cheer you up, whatever you need.
So, it’s not built up stress that gets you.
No, it’s the phone call you get in the middle of the night, while you’re resting in Atsumu’s arms.
You and Atsumu put your phones on do not disturb/bedtime mode every night.
Very few people are set up so that your phone will ring, when they call.
So, you end up waking up pretty quickly at the sound of a familiar ringtone, Atsumu sleepily sitting up beside you as you sit up to take the call.
Your best friend.
Who had just been admitted to the hospital after a car crash.
They were most likely going to make it, but they were still undergoing surgery and you knew that anything could happen.
You were her emergency contact so they called you from the ambulance.
Not too long after, you found out that the other person was undergoing surgery and probably wouldn’t make it.
The realization that that could have been your best friend made you feel like you couldn’t breath.
Atsumu had been watching your frantic pacing for the past ten minutes, watching you work yourself up more and more. You were shaking, though you hadn’t turned to him yet, like you always did, when you needed comfort. And he was too scared to make it worse.
   Until he heard how your breath caught in your throat, once again, nearly sounding like you were about to start hyperventilating. Standing, the tall volleyball player comes to stop in front of you, gently grasping your wrists in his hands to make you look at him. He doesn’t say anything as you let out a shaky breath and crumble against him, just falling into his open arms.
   Cradling you against him with his large palm at the back of your head, he lets you get out the emotions that were pent up, soft sobs being let out against his shoulder. Pressing a kiss to your temple, he whispers soft words of encouragement. “They’re going to be okay, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay, I promise. And have I ever broken my promises to you?”
   With a shake of your head, your sobs quiet and all that’s left escaping you are quiet sniffles. If anyone was able to calm you, it’d be your Tsumu. There wasn’t a bad day you could remember that he hadn’t made things better. Your boyfriend always knew what to say... When it came to you, at least.
   It wasn’t ten minutes later when a doctor came out to let you know that the surgery had been a success and that your friend was okay.
   They’d be asleep for a few hours, allowing you to go home and change from your pajamas, if you would like. You didn’t catch that bit with the immediate relief that flooded through you.
   You both did end up going home to shower and change, wanting to get you both and your friend some food on your way back. As soon as you were in the comfort of your own home, Atsumu took your face in his hands, cradling your cheeks and gently stroking your cheeks with his thumbs.
   “As long as I’m around, I am going to make sure that everything works out in the end. I don’t like seeing you cry and I don’t like seeing you stressed out. You’re my significant other and I’m going to take care of you.” He reassures you earnestly. “It’s all going to be okay, I promise.”
   And as his arms wrap around you, pulling you into his chest, you know that it is, in fact, all going to be okay. You had Atsumu and he had you.
Tsukishima Kei:
Mid-terms aren’t shit.
Not only are the tests long, and hard, and stressful,
But both you and Kei had them.
And both you and Kei had attitudes - especially when it came to either of you getting stressed out.
So, you both decided to stay and study on your own for the most part, until exams were over.
It was only a week, after all, how much harm could a single week do to the two of your mental states?
A lot, apparently.
It was Kei who caved first, surprisingly, needing to see you.
It was actually pretty unsurprising, boy is whipped for you.
Grabbing his keys, he tugs on the hoodie you’d gotten him for his birthday, along with grabbing you matching one that you’d left at his place.
Then he leaves, his usual preference to wear pants rather than sweatpants, when he left his home, being overpowered by his craving to see you.
And he knew you needed to see him too.
But if anyone was more stubborn than he was about things, it was you and he knew you weren’t going to cave anytime soon.
What he didn’t expect when he entered your home was to find you crying into your hands, in a pile of your own notes, with your computer in front of you.
He furrowed his brows - you had overwhelmed yourself...
Because he hadn’t been here to prevent you from it.
Kei sighs as he listens to the clanking of keys together, his attempts to unlock the door to your apartment failing multiple times, before finally ending in success. At least he knew no one would ever break into your apartment. They wouldn’t be able to get in.
Look at him, he’d been over here a dozen times and it still took him about three minutes to manage your locks open. You must know how much he loved you with the fact he still put up with it. He enters the home, near silently, placing the strawberry shortcakes and milkshakes down on the counter, his keys being hung beside yours. Walking past your kitchen, he freezes in the doorway, hearing your quieted sobs before he sees you.
He had never, not even in his years of playing volleyball, moved as quickly as he did in that moment. He moved to kneel in front of where you were seated on the couch, taking your laptop and shutting it.
Kei knew you hadn’t opened your eyes, or moved your hands from shielding your face to see him, but you knew it was him with the way you slid off of the spot on the couch to kneel on the floor, your face finding familiar purchase in his neck.
“I’m not around for a few days and you manage to overwork yourself like this. God damn it, Y/N, don’t do this again.” His words, no matter if they should have sounded angry, just came out worried.
You knew that the only person he was mad at was himself for even suggesting the idea of you both spending time studying individually.
“I’m right here, okay? I’m not going to be going anywhere,” placing a large hand on the back of your head, he gently kisses the crown of your head. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
“It’s all going to be okay,” his soothing voice calms you quite a bit, making your body slump against his in relaxation. “There’s my shortcake. Just relax, alright. We’ll study more later. In the meantime, we’re going to watch a movie and eat the sweets I brought. I don’t want you to think about those god damn exams.” Your nod in confirmation is all he needs to get you both comfortable on the couch so he can take care of his partner... Like he should have been going this entire time.
Bokuto Kōtarō:
Kōtarō, despite people thinking he’s not the smartest, is a very intelligent person.
Especially when it comes to emotional intelligence.
Which is why he figured out about your family issues, within a month.
Poor boy wished he could do something, though other than the constant sleepovers in high school, there wasn’t much else he could do. It broke his heart.
But that changed, when you both graduated high school together.
He didn’t allow you to stay any longer in that house. You’d dealt with the constant yelling and the lack of care for your feelings, long enough.
Though, that didn’t mean you’d escaped it when you went to reunions or to visit them on holidays.
They always managed to drag you into going.
And they always managed to drag you into their bullshit.
Kōtarō hadn’t been able to go to this year’s reunion - a practice game held him up.
His presence usually encouraged your family member to back the fuck off and not drag you into things.
But, this time...
He was just glad he’d gotten there when he did.
Pulling up in the driveway of the designated home of this particular family reunion, he could hear the yelling, as soon as he stepped out of his car. The volleyball player tensed up as he quickly walked towards the home, throwing the door open without care.
    Kōtarō wished you wouldn’t put yourself through this. You didn’t deserve it. He enters the living room, most of the arguing falling silent at his presence, already knowing that he wouldn’t hesitate to get on them for their bullshit. Walking over to you, where you sat, slumped at the dinner table, your head in your hands, he frowns.
   He wasn’t surprised when he found tears in your eyes as he gently picked your head up to look at him. A frown befalls him, once again and he guides you to stand, pulling you into his embrace, his hand holding your head against him, practically cradling you.
   He holds you for a few long moments to let you calm down, before he turns towards your family, letting you go so he can take your hand. “We’re leaving. They’re tired.”
   No one argues. They’d seen how angry Kōtarō got when it came to you and they didn’t want to face the wrath of the angry volleyball player.
   Without another word from you both, or spoken to you both, Kōtarō escorts you out of the house. As soon as you’re out, you can hear the yelling ensue, once again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he whispers as he pulls you into him, once again. “It’s going to be okay.” He whispers to you, pressing his lips to the crown of your head.
   “I promise. We’ll go home and take a long bath... We can make some cookies and relax. We can even watch some Disney movies and make a pillow fort. How’s that sound, my sweet owl?” Kōtarō cooes as he begins to walk you to the car, smiling at you as he noticed how relaxed you seemed to be out, away from them and with your fiancé.
   No matter if he could help your family’s constant fighting, he’d always be here to whisper soft reassurances to you and make sure that everything was okay.
Oikawa Tōru:
Dating Tōru isn’t easy.
Living over 18,000 kilometers from one another was no easy feat.
Somedays are easier than others.
And this wasn’t one of those ‘easier’ days.
No, not at all.
Instead, today is one of those days that you tug on Tōru’s old volleyball jacket and bury your nose in the collar, hopping it’ll smell somewhat like him.
One of those days that you watch his dazzling face appear on the screen of your television and pretend he’s here with you.
It’s one of those days that you shoot him an ‘I miss you’ text and he’s unable to reply.
You both make it work because you love one another and want to watch the other succeed and do what they love.
But sometimes, it would be so much easier if you both lived on the same continent.
What you didn’t realize was that he hadn’t been to reply to you, because he was caught up getting his stuff off of the plane and into a car.
He was exhausted, but excited to see you.
He wasn’t expecting to come home and find you asleep on your couch, wrapped up in his jacket with dried tears on your cheeks.
Tōru dropped his bags at the door - he could worry about them later, right now he needed to get to you. With his signature grin, he walks through the kitchen, “Cutie,” he cooes through the apartment, before halting as he enters your living room, head tilting like a confused puppy’s would as he spotted you.
   His brows furrow and a frown crosses his lips, walking over to you and dropping to his knees in front of your sleeping form on the couch. He brings his hand up to gently stroke your cold cheek. “Y/N...” He cooes as he caresses your face, waiting for you to stir. Once you begin to open your eyes, a smile returns to his face, seeing your excitement overpower the sleepiness in your features.
   “You’re here...” You whisper, pushing yourself forward to hug your fiancé, no matter how unconventional this position was for you both. “I missed you,” you mumble into the soft cloth of his shirt, inhaling deeply. Peppermint. He always smelled like peppermint and it was a scent you had immensely missed.
   “I missed you too, cutie... But it’s okay. I’m here, now.” Tōru reassures, shifting so that he can scoop you up into his arms while you curl up into him.
   Not hesitating to want to fall asleep with you in his arms, once again, he brings you to the bedroom, dropping you onto the bed and pulling out comfier clothes for the both of you. Unpacking could wait later. Explanations of the vacation he was taking could wait. You being comfortable and in his arms was all he wanted.
   He undresses you, putting one of his shirts on you, before he undresses, as well, pulling on a pair of sweatpants, before he pulls back the covers and slides under them with you.
   Long, toned arms come to wrap themselves securely around you, pulling you into a tanned chest. “I missed you so much... But I’m here now, alright?” He whispers to you, kissing your head with a tenderness that only you got to see from the Argentinian volleyball player.
    “Go to sleep, we’ll talk when you wake up.”
    It was safe to say you fell asleep peacefully in his arms, finding peace in the fact that you’d soon be happily waking up in his arms.
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General Taglist:
@thathoneybee3 @bratkugo
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echo-of-sounds · 4 years
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hands
Small headcanons about the hands of Aizawa, Toshi, Hizashi, Fatgum, Gang Orca, and Hound Dog.
Hands have always been one of my favorite body parts. I used to love anatomy and wanted to be a surgeon. But once I saw a video of a surgery, I lost all interest.
Warnings: it’s nothing in any detail but some of these mention injuries/blood
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Aizawa Shouta
Shouta has big palms. Hair and veins are noticeable on both sides. On the dorsal side, dark hair from his arms brushes along the outside. There’s a light dusting on his proximal phalanges. Prominent veins line the dorsal side as well. You can trace them up along his wrist and forearm.
On the palmar side, blue and purple veins lay close to his pale skin’s surface. They’re seen remarkably far up his arm and down into his fingers. A few light scars mark his palm. And warmth radiates from his palm. It’s excellent on chilly nights. While cuddling, his hands slide under your shirt, keeping your stomach warm. 
His fists are one of his main weapons (on his body). Consequently, his knuckles have taken a beating. Even with the proper posture and punching technique, his fingers will eventually feel the damage of socking skull bones over and over, even more so since he doesn’t wrap them. His metacarpophalangeal joints (MCP) are a little distorted. His pinky’s shifted, his middle is much higher than the others, and his ring’s have receded. They don’t affect his hand movements, but he does feel pain and gets twitches every now and then.
His cuticles and skin around the nails are dry, flaky, and peeling. Most of the skin on his hands is rough and dry, but he never uses lotion. If you want to help, just sit beside him one evening as he’s watching TV and massage thick layers all over his hands and fingers. And keep his hands in yours. He’ll completely forget and rub/wash it off.
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Yagi Toshinori
Toshi’s long fingers easily wrap around your thigh. They rub and squeeze and, despite the roughness, feels pleasing on yours because of their weight. However, they are prone to shaking and weakness. His physical health may be the source, but his anxiety also causes trembling. Days when sleep is little and anxiety is high, it’s the worst. If you happen to notice it, don’t comment, just hold his hand for comfort.
His hands are just so big and beautiful. When he had his powers, his hands were rougher and dryer. He has calluses below the proximal interphalangeal joints (PIP). His index, middle, and ring finger are the worst ones. Dry, cracked skin surrounds them, stretching around and between each finger. Thick skin covers his upper palm.
Now that he isn’t working as a Hero, his hands aren’t constantly being beaten and cracked and torn, and have (somewhat) healed. He started using heavy-duty reparative lotion and the improvement is clear. His skin isn’t as cracked and rough.
The tendons in his hands and wrists are very prominent, especially on his dorsal side. The extensor pollicis brevis and longus are noticeable even when his thumb is resting. He also has a palmaris longus tendon that you can feel quite a ways down his forearm.
Toshi loves when you play with his hands- move his fingers, trace his tendons, kiss his knuckles, massage his palm, anything. Though his fingers are often cold. When he first reaches for your hand, it’ll jump you a little. At night, he’ll tuck his hands in your shirt or wrap you tightly in his arms to warm them up. On the plus side, he always wants to cuddle!
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Yamada Hizashi
Hizashi’s palms aren't that big. It's made up for with his beautifully long, nimble, and agile fingers. His proximal and middle phalanges are elongated. They’re steady and dexterous, letting him handle tasks that require care and precision. And since his fighting style doesn’t call for his hands in any way, they aren’t all roughed up and dry.
He always takes care of his fingernails. They’re trimmed, the skin around them is perfect, they’re sometimes painted black or dark purple, and he likes wearing clean-cut, masculine rings. 
They’re fairly warm. His gloves help. If you’re ever stuck outside on a chilly night, he’ll take your hands and tuck them in his pockets with his hands. They’re so smooth and fluid as they rub yours. And at home, they give glorious massages, caressing and stroking everywhere.
From playing instruments, there are a few guitar calluses on his fingertips. They’re nowhere near as bad as the other guys' though. Along the same lines, aches and joint stiffness bothers him if he’s on a marathon playing piano and bass. You’ll have to step in and tell him to stop because he won’t want to, possibly hurting himself in the process.
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Taishiro Toyomitsu
Big. Really big. Seriously, his palms are huge. Tai will pat your head and it'll feel like a book is being knocked against you. And, god, his fingers. They’re thick and solid and oh so delicate as he picks up tiny cupcakes. 
His flexion lines are deeper than average and there are a few calluses on his upper palms. It’s being cracked and dry he needs to worry about though. It doesn’t help that he’s always washing his hands because he goes from fighting to eating to fighting to eating multiple times a day. He could use lotion more often than he does.
Tai’s MCP joints are like Aizawa's, but his are a little more misshapen and damaged. His pinky’s warped outwards, pulling the skin tighter in that area. His middle finger’s bumps high and is sensitive to touch. Sometimes when his hand is overworked, his fingers won’t glide up and down naturally. It’s almost like they snap up and down instead. His metacarpals and muscles are often sore as well.
They definitely deserve pampering. Ice his wrists for fifteen minutes, then carefully massage his palms and knead his fingers. The popping and cracking don’t hurt him. It actually feels nice as the tension releases. A groan or two might slip out. After, he’ll want to repay you… using his fingers.
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Gang Orca
They feel different because Kugo’s skin isn’t human, but it’s not a bad difference. He enjoys running his palm over your skin and it’s surprisingly soft considering his job. Seeing his huge hand on your stomach fuels something deep within him.
His fingers are long, his palms are big, and his joints are robust. His hands are just sturdy powerhouses. Finger pull-ups are no problem for him. Yet they’re still gentle in everything they do. 
Tendons on his dorsal side may not be able to be seen, but they definitely can be felt. Move his fingers around while stroking the back of his hand, and they’ll pull and constrict under your thumb. They’re just as strong as the rest of him.
Because of his mutation, he doesn’t have nails. His fingertips are pointer than an average human's, and he’s always been careful with them. As a kid, he scratched things a lot. Now, after years of training and bodily awareness, it rarely happens. But he’s still scared of scratching someone, specifically you and children.
Kugo’s skin doesn’t crack and peel. Although they do dry out and it’s painful. Lather his hands in body butter then put plastic gloves on him to keep the moisture close.
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Hound Dog
Rough, calloused, thick, and firm- that’s not just Ryo’s personality but his hands too. His palms are calloused. His fingers are thick and firm and do damn near everything roughly. Papers crinkle when he picks them up. Pen and pencils break in half when he uses them. A few laptops and tablets have been busted from him grabbing them so hard. He could take a few pointers from Kugo on how to be gentle.
Under his PIP joints, there are rather severe calluses. They break open and bleed and regularly cause itchiness/pricking. Band-aids don’t last. Bandages get torn. One day you’re just going to have to wrap his fingers together and duct tape it closed to let his skin heal. He’ll bite the tape to get it off. Distract him with food or movies.
Hair comes from his arm up to the back of his hand with some dusting the tops of his fingers. His extensor digitorum tendons are handsomely raised with veins vining around them. They’re perfect for when you’re in the car and your thigh is begging to be squeezed, highlighting their size and strength even more. 
Even though Ryo’s nails aren’t actually pointy, they’re tough and durable, and if they hit you at just the right angle, they could easily puncture your skin, maybe take a tiny chunk out. He trims his nails to prevent them from hurting anyone. The second they’re five millimeters over, they’re clipped and filed down.
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scripturiends · 3 years
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law school episode 9 musings
warning: very very long post ahead. i have a lot of thoughts.
hey folks — how we feeling about episode 9?
given that there are so many plotlines in the show, i’m afraid i won’t be able to extend my analysis of the episode as far as i would like, but there are three characters who stood out to me the most last night that i’d like to talk about for now:
kang dan
there’s a lot that we got to uncover about her thanks to professor yang’s trial. if i’m piecing it all together right, the basic summary of what led to her disappearance goes like this:
she was a volunteer for assemblyman ko’s campaign, but upon discovering that he was spreading fake news about his opposition, dan reported him to the authorities (i’m guessing not just the police but also the media) and became a whistleblower. assemblyman ko tried to buy her off with money, but she refused, so he attacked her where she’s most vulnerable instead — by using her family.
i’m not completely sure about this (please feel free to correct me!) but it’s either byeol is (1) the twins’ half-sister, or (2) their stepsister? it’s so hard to tell, especially since korean terms can get lost in translation in the process (i watch on netflix, if that helps). but anyway, sol and dan’s mom married someone who was abusing her, and in exchange for dan’s silence (and her fleeing), the husband signs a contract that he would stop hurting his wife.
so that’s the backbone of dan’s story. however, this still doesn’t answer a lot of things, like where seo byungju or lee manho fits into the equation, the whereabouts of their mom’s ex-husband, or why dan was sent into boston in the first place.
i usually don’t like theorizing, but i do have one: there is an ivy league school located just outside of boston — harvard. (it’s technically in cambridge but you know, i’m taking liberties here.) professor yang said in passing one episode that he thought he saw dan when he went to the school for a seminar or a talk or something. could it be that assemblyman ko offered her an education at a top school in exchange for her silence? it could explain why she gave it up all so easily. what if she took that topnotch education as a chance to prepare, so that when she came back, she had much stronger leverage to take assemblyman ko down, given the knowledge and network of connections she’ll have earned in that school?
the theory’s plausible but i might be overestimating assemblyman ko’s kindness — unless he’s insanely desperate, he might not give a damn about dan’s education. it actually benefits him more if she stayed uninformed, but still. let me know what you think about it.
yoo seungjae
in this episode, we learned a little bit more about how yoo seungjae was able to hack into the professors’ laptops, and they also confirmed some of our previous speculations about him: that his wife yujeong was an ob gyn, and so was he, and that they were trying for a baby. unfortunately, i find it all to be a bit lacking in substance. i was hoping we could get down to the nitty-gritty of why he did what he did.
i say this for one important reason: i don’t know about you guys, but i would never make such a stupid mistake in undergrad, let alone in law school. seungjae has gone to med school, so we know that he knows the repercussions of his actions. why would he go to such lengths? sure, he found an opening, he was tempted, and he took it. but he didn’t just do it once, he did it multiple times, and those offenses add up (hacking, stealing exam papers, and cheating). surely he must know that something like this can ruin careers even before they even start, and not only would he get kicked out of the school, he would also get blacklisted from the industry once he implicates himself. so we understand why he’s so hesitant to testify (especially now that his wife is pregnant).
but why did he do that in the first place? we could say he’s insecure about his skills, but he’s survived med school. how much harder could law school be for him? i just don’t think that the payoff is worth the risk. what must be so important for yoo seungjae to do all of this for? what does he get in return if he successfully pulls it off and gets straight As during his entire time in law school? who is he doing for?
i hope it runs deeper than just wanting a ‘good future’ for him and his wife and their baby or something — because he could just as easily do that as a doctor. there must be another reason he went into law.
still, though, and this is just a personal opinion, even if i did find out his entire backstory, there’s no way i could ever defend him. we see in the show how his guilt builds up (from observing how kang sol A studies so well, to his conversation with jeon yeseul in the hospital), but at this point there is no more excusing what he did. not that i ever condoned it in the first place.
we’re still in the dark about a lot of things regarding yoo seungjae. hopefully by the next episode, we get something. but until then, he is still a shady, shady man to me.
kang sol B
her screen time in this episode was short, but i still wanted to highlight her because she is pretty much a ticking time bomb.
she’s in a tight spot right now because even if she testifies about having seen the sugar packet, the prosecutor will just twist the argument by saying she colluded with a murderer just to cover up her plagiarism.
and now, seo jiho needs her help, probably for something related to his case with prosecutor jin. in exchange, she puts pressure on him to ‘confirm’ that she didn’t plagiarize in middle school, since they were schoolmates and rivals.
there may be more to this plagiarism issue than meets the eye. who knows, we might find out later on that she actually didn’t plagiarize? but given what i know now, i have no reason to believe that she didn’t. i don’t blame her specifically for that, seeing as she has to pay for the consequences for something that her awful mom forced her to do. but now that the mess has been made, i want to see how she cleans it up.
kang sol B is a very elusive character to me. the scary thing about her is that she’s on no one’s side but her own. and that’s why i think she’s a ticking time bomb.
~
bonus: han joonhwi
so that’s all i have for the serious stuff. as a bonus, i’d like to talk about han joonhwi and his four (4) children jeon yeseul, seo jiho, kang byeol, and min bokgi.
one of my friends brought up how it’s so funny how he’s somehow just at the right place at the right time all the time. this happened when he ran into kang sol A when she was looking for yeseul (i still think they were on the phone with each other beforehand but this is just my shipper self talking — truthfully, if the focus was shifted towards that phone call without divulging who it was, i have a feeling it might be more important later on), and when seo jiho confronted prosecutor jin. adding his elevator conversation with kang sol B, i think it just solidified what we already know: han joonhwi is a very compassionate person. but he doesn’t sacrifice his own personality just to appease them — he recognizes that these individuals have agency, and he’s just giving them the little push they need to make them realize what they need to do.
i also felt the need to bring up kang byeol. the show does such a good job of ensuring that all the solhwi scenes that we get, no matter how indulgent and “fanservice-y” they might seem, actually have a deeper purpose. again, i could go on and on about what each solhwi scene has actually contributed to the development of the plot, which is exactly why i love them so much! because all of their scenes are so meaningful. but anyway, it’s nice to see han joonhwi care so much for his, ehem, future sister-in-law.
and for min bokgi — this scene was so short, but i absolutely loved it so much (i tend to pay attention to the throwaway scenes): min bokgi is going off about how yoo seungjae is acting weird, and he says to joonhwi, “hyung, you should call him.” and joonhwi responds with, “sure. eat your food.” it’s such a fatherly thing to do and it’s such a great contrast to bokgi’s dynamic with sol A, with whom he’s so loud and vibrant, moods that both match their personalities, but with joonhwi, who is more subdued, he’s like a little kid in need of rescue from an older brother, or even a dad. ah, i love it so much. min bokgi is such an underrated character. i wish he had more screen time. (if he doesn’t get a central ep, well, you guys know where i’m going with this, right? it means i’ll give it to him myself.)
~
so that’s it for now! i’m sorry i went on rambling again, but if there’s anything noteworthy in this post that you think is worth discussing, please do tell! if there’s anything that you found thought-provoking in the episode that i didn’t get to touch up on, let me know as well!
i personally don’t make any theories about the overarching plot myself, seeing as by the time the new episode comes out, we get fed information that renders the theory useless. still, that doesn’t mean we should stop coming up with our own ideas. sometimes, the theories are more interesting than the canon itself.
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bearseokie · 4 years
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boyfriend! oneus
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[ gender-neutral! ]
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oneus m.list | navi. | nsfw! bf! oneus (M)
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Ravn:
selfie game, strong! between his insane visuals and like-minded camera angles, you're never let down by his pretty selfies that he sends you throughout the day. mainly paired with his chin to his chest while he's pouting and a silly caption.
if you think his selfies are good, the way he takes couple pictures? chef's kiss. you're never low on pics to post to social media or to put on your fridge. even the embarrassing ones, but he'll whine about those later.
matching onesies or couple pajamas.
walks up to you just to rest his chin on your head or shoulder and breathe you in.
holds your hand in the way that his entire hand envelops the width of your fingers while you hold on to his thumb.
asks for you to buy him flowers more than he gets them for you. you can't help but want to see his eyes sparkle at the sight of a dozen roses, though.
is probably biting his lip unwillingly but also on purpose. it's a habit you learn to enjoy. he does it when he's focused too, so you always know if he's paying attention or not. as confident as he is, he blushes when you call him out for it.
wraps his arms all the way around your torso and picks you up in a hug just because he can.
will see something out of the corner of his eye and make a whole circle to turn towards it. usually it's a gift of a random item he thinks you'll adore, and you always do. you'll gain a little collection of things you never imagined you'd own being with him.
genuinely not used to physical contact and tends to be rougher than he means to be. he's a temperate boy that has a habit of patting your head or kissing you a little too hard because he's in love and is still learning.
talks your ears off when you're alone. if you don't pull his beanie over his face, he won't shut up.
comes across as intimidating, but is literally the most considerate person. like he will physically reel you backwards just to gently push away an eyelash from your cheek and kiss your lips.
big pant, big shirt. aka his and your big pant and big shirt. sharing is caring. he gets butterflies in his stomach watching your hand caress over the clothes hanging in his closet as you search for something to wear.
unintentional - but completely intentional - lip locking. like he'll bend over to reach across your form laying on the bed when you’re distracted and he’ll be right in your face. before you know it, you're sitting up and your lips are colliding. especially loves doing this in public because your warm face is his rapid beating heart.
will admit to others how much he loves you but will be so stubborn behind closed doors. says things like "are you sure we're talking about the same person? me, wait— me? I'm in love with you? no— no, you're right. I'm guilty."
pouty boy with big, pleading eyes all the time.
runs his fingertips over the lines of your hands. you catch him mimicking them on his own and smiling like an idiot when they match.
take his flannels. do it.
late nights where he bursts through your door while you're sleeping and shakes you awake to run a few lyrics by you. always second guesses himself, but when he sees that you're actually taken back by the words, he gets all smiley bolts back to work.
snuggles into your pillow until you lay down with him, then you're his true cuddle buddy.
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Seoho:
dramatically pulls his coats off to put over your shoulders. his constant body heat can warm you up immediately.
takes you on movie dates just to sit in the very back and have heavy make outs with you. like panting, fingers laced in each other's hair, bodies fighting to get into each other’s seats — make out sessions.
his! laugh! the way you can get him to laugh is definitely one of his favorite things in the world, and his smile could light up a room. also has the tendency to laugh at you even when you're not being funny.
pushes his face into the crook of your neck to fall asleep. his breath on your skin can make you feel weird and loved at the same time, but his sound sleeps are worth it. also pushes you to lay on your back so he can curl up beside you and rub his forehead against you.
more chaotic dates where he does things you're afraid of just to show you not to be so scared. hugs you like a koala for the rest of the day.
matching outfits like crazy. even down to the accessories. loves spoiling you with new outfits even if you tell him you hate getting gifts so often.
hugs your waist and lifts you up to reach something instead of getting it down himself.
will have the same pic of you and him set as everything. his phone’s lockscreen, wallpaper, his laptop’s lockscreen, wallpaper, profile pics, it’s the only post on his social media.
so in love that it can come across as icky. blushing cheeks, sweaty palms, a bounce in his step.
mocks you like you’re already an old married couple. but his loving banter comes off as charming.
the saying 'know you like the back of my hand' had to have been written by him, himself, because he does, in fact, know you that well. he knows the different sounds of your sneezes - aka whether you have a cold or not. he knows the change of your morning voice versus the tone you have in the middle of the day. anything going through your mind, this man has down pact.
random night calls where he just goes 'I'm at the door, let me in." because his hands are too full to reach for his key. stumbles in with bags full of snacks and treats just to have you both sit on the floor eating and ranting until dawn.
the softest kisses. and I mean the softest kisses. like michael angelo adding details to his paintings, type soft. you can hardly ever feel them and barely knows he's there until he starts laughing or vibrating from the sudden eye contact you're giving him.
would rather waddle side to side in a back hug than let you go to walk somewhere alone.
has a list of everything he loves to share with you over time. movies, music, random memos in his phone.
included in those phone memos are literally so many details about you that it can make your eyes roll. he has the smallest details noted and little asterisks to remind him to write them down in a physical journal one day, but you might have to do that for him.
a lot quieter than he makes himself out to be. is basically a ghost when you're around him. the only way you really ever know where he is is if he's lugging around a bluetooth speaker with music playing.
messy! hair! he will literally refuse to brush his own hair until you do it for him. loves it more if you just use your fingers to comb his locks.
squinted eyes because he's smiling at you so hard that he'll probably bump into something in the process.
lets you hold both sides of his face in your palms. especially if he's cold. sometimes you can squish.
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Leedo:
being with gunhak — it is literally a love novel.
warm eyes that sparkle when he looks at you. you notice it and keep quiet just to bask in his affection, but it’s always the first thing people mention when they talk about your relationship.
can’t help but reach his hand across the table to hold yours while you eat.
scrunches his nose when you say silly things.
the most attentive person when you’re telling a story. will sit with his chin in his palm and his eyes going between your gaze and lips as you speak. makes constant “mhm” and “ohh” sounds to let you know he’s right in the story with you. stops you to laugh at the way you say a specific word. you both spend hours sitting somewhere together just telling stories back and forth until the sun rises or sets.
can’t go a single day without throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you around.
has his hand on your lower back all day. like all day. in public, at home, in bed while you're sleeping. as long as his hand is on your back, you know he’s next to you.
his face is always a hotter temperature than the rest of his body, especially if you’ve been looking at him all day. crimson cheeks, red-tipped ears, reddened lips because he can’t stop kissing you.
sleeps with you laying in between his legs and your head on his chest. you fall asleep to the beat of his heartbeat while he plays with your fingers and listens to your breathing.
puts you in the shopping cart before any items just so he can wheel you around and listen to you laugh when he pretends he’s going to ram into something.
will pull the shirt/jacket/top he was wearing over his head and toss it to you to wear or hug if he’s leaving so you don’t miss him too much.
isn’t extremely good with speaking words to express what he wants to say, so oftentimes you find little notebook pages folded around the house with love notes written on them. him telling you how much he appreciates how much you do for him. him saying ‘i love you’ in different colored ink in different kinds of ways. sometimes a smashed flower in between the pages just for added scents. completely a cheesy romantic with love notes.
likes to let you drive so he can put his elbow against the window and stare at you from across the front of the vehicle. while you’re focused he’s grinning and giggling because it’s ‘super adorable’.
sends flowers to your work at the most inappropriate times in order to keep anyone that’s been flirting with you in their place. very subtle about being protective, and thankfully never has to make large leaps to have others understand you’re unavailable. thinks it’s the best thing in the world when someone is eyeing you and you come running to him to dramatically toss your arms around his neck and place a kiss on his lips.
enjoys having cleverly matching pieces. a pair of earrings shared between the two of you. matching bracelets. soft cotton shirts you can wear on your days off. two blankets of the same designs but different colors.
severely embraces breaking his shyness when it comes to pda. will pull you into his arms and kiss you while walking down the street. lets you sit on his lap in a busy place. carries you on his back around big stores.
works out with you around him. if he wants to do sit ups, you're holding his feet. if he wants to do push ups, you're laying under him giving him kisses every time he comes down.
forehead kisses. temple kisses. cheek kisses. literally all of the softest kisses.
terribly difficult to wake up, but the sound of your voice will draw his lids to open in an instant so he can see your smiling face.
super nervous about the entire relationship so you have to guide him at a reasonable pace. hold his hand first, kiss him first, even say 'i love you' first, but he'll return it all in a beat after you express your love.
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Hwanwoong:
would be the one to have that situation where you met by running into each other at full force and had to laugh it off despite how much pain you were both in. he does something like offer to buy you a drink as an apology and then he never leaves your side.
sits with him between your legs and his back pressed into your front so you can hug him around his waist and lean on him.
smells are a huge deal to him. hoards light scented candles and renames them with comic titles or references to your relationship just to make you laugh when he calls them out in conversations.
runs his fingers through your hair as a way of showing affection on a regular basis. if you’re in public, he’ll sneak in a quick kiss just because he isn’t huge on pda.
but not liking pda doesn't mean he won't cling to you behind closed doors. he can't go very long without brushing his skin against your own, even in a subtle way.
physically capable of making meals on his own, or with you, but he's too lazy. enjoy the take out! also huge on getting snack foods to feed you in a romantic way without it being intentional.
quiet. very quiet. he enjoys silence while holding you or waking up in the midst of the night just to hear you sleeping peacefully. it's his solace.
although he gets whiny, he will let you do anything you want to him. test out makeup looks on him, play with his hair, make him dress up for you. just as long as you can reciprocate by going on sweet dates with him or let him read his favorite stories to you, he's all for it.
gets you random, very personal gifts. his attentiveness is insane, so he'll give you something like a better-formed pillow to help you sleep or a journal of your silly inside jokes to keep around when you have to be apart.
pretends he's not emotional during the day only to spill the deepest things to you at night. you're his diary and he loves you for that.
but with his distant state, you're still the one to notice things first. if he's too tired, if he's hungry - you know the tell-tale signs and can quietly get him back on his feet. you’re basically his weakness and muse all at once.
he might be the last one to wake up, but that's just because he enjoys knowing you slept by his side all night.
tilts your head to the side to kiss you because he thinks it's romantic.
doesn't care who you think you are, he will give you a piggyback ride.
does that thing where you'll be doing something important and he'll be sat next to you whispering jokes into your ear to keep you from getting stressed. also has to hold your hand the entire time or else he'll get up.
intuitive to your emotions and feelings. if you're in pain somewhere, he's in pain. if you're laughing, he's laughing.
the most pleasing, deep morning voice ever. doesn't even have to try. it's like two octaves lower than his regular voice and will always give you the shivers.
instead of big things for dates he does tasks like have all of your house chores done when you return or studies up on your school work to help you out. it's his way of showing affection and appreciation. but he does bigger things too like cover your bathroom in flower petals with a nice bath running when you get home.
has a tendency of saying your name the most when he’s sleeping.
makes choreography and dedicates them to you all the time. will tug you into the practice room to show you moves. but then he's giggling uncontrollably and starts complimenting you until you kiss him.
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Keonhee:
records everything all the time. has backup storage just so he can film everything you both do or take a thousand pictures. spends literal hours printing out the pictures to make photo albums or put them on his wall so he never has to go a moment without seeing you. carries around a physical, mini album just to stare at while he’s traveling or feels lonely.
loves showering with you. will take the showerhead off of the wall and hold it over you while making lightsaber sounds.
loves the sound of you saying his name more than anything. when he's happy, upset, angry - just a call of his name can settle his emotions. and maybe a kiss too.
will sit or lay somewhere and just stare at you with a big, goofy grin on his face and loving sparkles in his eyes for no particular reason.
claps your hands together before he holds them.
makes music playlists titled with hysterical names that are more distracting than the chaos of the actual list. names them with emojis and such to see if you can code his secret love messages.
his lips are always redder than normal around you. quite literally doesn't know when or how to stop kissing you.
cannot comprehend how he could love someone more than you. it's that dumb love like he'll trip over his own two feet, say your name instead of his own when ordering something, or even intentionally get something he hates just because you like it.
changes the color of the led lights to define the mood. happy, sad, sexy time. the room is a rainbow every week.
contrary to popular belief of the cancer man, he's not clingy until you tell him to be. postpones all physical contact to the last moment when you ask why he's distant and give him consent to holding you whenever he wants. then he never lets you go.
has to be even in height with you ninety percent of the day, even if you're off by a few centimeters. helps you sit on the kitchen counter, hunches to kiss you, lifts you up by your waist.
being on opposite ends of a room while he's doing hand gestures and silently singing you the song stuck in his head.
his most genuine habit is giving away all of his emotions in his eyes. one glance and you know exactly how he feels, even if he isn't speaking about it aloud.
thinks being out in the rain is extremely romantic but will pull you back inside at the first drop because "you might get a cold".
hardly wears clothes when he starts getting seriously comfortable with you. no shirt, maybe some pajama pants, maybe some socks with random patterns on them. if he gets hot at any point, shield your eyes.
pouts without actually pouting. you'll hear a little huff from beside you instead.
put your belongings into the rips of his jeans instead of his pockets. they're 'safe'.
visibly shudders when he gets to hold your hand after a long day.
so many shoulder kisses you can't even keep up with them anymore.
you have a collection of him scrunching his nose when you're trying to get soft couple pictures because he can't take it seriously.
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Xion:
if you fall asleep on him at any point during the day, he'll wrap you in his jacket or a blanket around you and carry you to bed. he'll let you rest comfortably while he lays beside you and watches you sleep while running his fingers across your face in a loving way.
sleeps holding your hand no matter what position you're both in.
dates are basically: carnivals to sit at the top of the ferris wheel and make out peacefully, picnics in the park to pick flowers and put them in your hair, going to bookstores just to shuffle through the comics and mangas.
bites you. slowly. he’s not the type to just bite into your skin randomly, more like you’ll get big puppy eyes and know he’s up to something before you feel a little nibble.
competitive in an ‘i’ll let you win if you give me a kiss’ way. guess who always wins. sike it’s him because he can use it as an excuse to make you pouty and then kiss you until you can’t even pretend to be angry anymore.
loves singing to you and only you.
hand-makes you jewelry because he finds it more endearing than buying them. plus it's sentimental.
hates blushing in front of others, but you can make him blush from a few words. loves the pet names you come up with. they sound like common conversation pieces so no one questions why you said them until they notice his face is nearly crimson.
unintentionally does romantic stuff. plays ballads over a speaker while prancing around until you take his hand and dance with him. finds a rose bush and gently clips a single flower to put in a vase for you. absentmindedly kisses your knuckles when he sees you for the first time in a while.
has the hardest time showing emotions, but does have the tendency to cry when parting or send you chain texts about how much he misses you when he's away.
random cheek kisses throughout the day.
sweater paws because you're both wearing his large hoodies and holding hands.
has more soft objects than you've ever witnessed a person own. now they're partially yours, so choose a stuffed animal.
random store dates where you go inside and find the strangest items you both fall in love with and get to put on display at home. you know when you go to someone's house and see an object that makes you question how it got there? he gets a lot of those for the two of you. 'conversation pieces', he says.
remembers cheesy quotes to tell you throughout the day to make you smile. if he wasn't in love, he'd never think twice about memorizing them.
probably thinking about kissing you every second of every day, but he uses his kisses wisely.
steals your shirts to sleep with when he's away because they smell like you.
cannot handle more than holding your hand in public at first, but he'll learn to love pda very quickly if you enjoy it.
where has all his phone's storage gone? oh, they're just pictures of you sleeping.
so adorned by you that his eyes literally sparkle, even if you're in his peripheral.
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imagine-loki · 3 years
Text
Omega Mine
TITLE: Omega Mine
CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 1/?
AUTHOR: nekoamamori
ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Loosely based on: Imagine Loki discovers the Avengers have an omega who has healing powers living with them. He’s an Alpha and he wants her, badly. 
RATING: M (eventually ) 
NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here
“Nope, nope, fuck no.  Why do all these companies suck?” You grumbled to yourself as you scrolled through job posting after job posting on your laptop.  You were sitting on your bed absently eating a slice of pizza in your pajamas while you searched.   You were hunting through the job listings looking for a company in search of an Omega.  
That wasn’t at all atypical. Businesses that employed a lot of Alphas needed Omegas on staff to help keep the balance and the peace.  Betas could only do so much against volatile Alpha tempers.  
It wasn’t that you didn’t like your current job, but it just wasn’t the right fit.  You’d worked at a few different companies since you’d graduated from college.  The companies were all glad to have you around, but none of them had felt like the right fit.  That was also typical.  It took a few tries to find Alphas who really fit and felt like safety and home.  It took longer to find such Alphas in an environment where you could use your degree or your magic, or something that made you more than just a typical Omega.  
It could take forever or absolutely no time at all to find the Alpha.  The one who was your mate and meant to be your love.  
You hadn’t had any luck finding your Alpha yet, just as you hadn’t found the right company to work for.  You’d temped a couple places as an admin, even though it wasn’t anything to do with your degree.  You were now working again as an assistant and getting pretty tired of all omega jobs only being assistants or menial labor.  There was nothing of substance.  That made sense.  Usually, Omegas couldn’t hold higher level positions.  Alphas ruled and Omegas were cared for, by nature and by nurture.  On the other hand, Omegas were the balance for an Alpha’s temper.  They cared for the heart of the people, while the Alphas cared for the physical safety.
Any of the castes could marry any of the others and Omegas finally had some rights in the US, but the world was still highly unfair toward your caste.  Omegas couldn’t own a house, for instance, or rent an apartment in your name.  You could earn money and have a bank account of your own, thanks to the laws that had passed, but a lot of the world was still stuck in the old ways of thinking Omegas nothing more than pets.  Or glorified sex slaves.  Thankfully, things were changing slowly, but surely.
You lived in an Omega-house with other unclaimed Omega girls and walked every day to the office nearby where you worked.  There was a Beta who acted as house mother as it was determined that Omegas couldn’t be trusted to care for themselves, so you weren’t allowed to live on your own.   Despite that you were a college grad with a job. 
It was either the Omega-house or still living with your Father.  And that wasn’t an option.  Not after you’d finally escaped to go to college at one of the universities that had accepted Omega students.  
There was a knock on your door.  You weren’t expecting anyone, but that didn’t mean one of the other Omega girls didn’t want to come visit, or the Beta coming to check on you.  “Coming!” You called and set your piece of pizza back on the plate, wiping your hands quickly as you got to your feet.  You padded silently over to the door, your steps light, despite the interruption.  You opened the door to see the Beta on the other side.  Your new house mother.  “Hello, Beta Ann,” you greeted her politely.  She was new and stuffy and still old-school enough that she wanted to be addressed by her title every time anyone spoke to her.  
She gave you a warm matronly smile.  It was a bit condescending.  “Hello, dear,” she always spoke down to the Omegas, as if you couldn’t understand what she was saying.  “I received your message that you wish to look for a new position?” She made it a question.  It was her job to help you find something.  Sometimes she could have better connections than the websites that the Omegas could access.
You nodded eagerly.  “Yes, ma’am,” you replied politely.  She really was stuffy and old schooled, but if she could help you… you’d be polite. “It isn’t that I dislike my position.  It’s just… not the right fit,” you explained quickly, hoping she would understand.  
She nodded sympathetically and looked over the clipboard she was carrying. “You’ve been in that position six months, I see.  Yes, that’s plenty of time to realize it’s not the right fit,” she agreed.  She looked up at you again.  “I was actually going to speak with you regardless.  A position crossed my desk that I thought you would be a good fit for, given your abilities,”
You perked up at that.  A position for your abilities?  Your skills?  Not just because you were an Omega?  “Really? What position?” You asked eagerly. You tried not to appear too eager.  That would be impolite.  It was a tentative balance.  
“There is a group who is looking for an Omega.  It’s a live-in position.  All room and board is covered on top of a generous salary.  They are specifically looking for someone with medical background and your healing abilities are very appealing to them,”
Medical background and healing?  
And a proper home?
It sounded absolutely perfect.  
“I’m definitely interested, ma’am,” you told her brightly. 
She nodded her agreement.  “Very good, dear.  I’ll let them know and set up the interview for you.  I’m sure it will just be a formality,”
Most Omega interviews were.  The Alphas in charge didn’t need to interview, not really.  They just needed to catch your scent or psychic scent and determine if you would fit in with their tempers and soothe their needs.  
“Thank you, ma’am,” you told her politely.  She gave you another condescending smile before she left you to set things up.
*
A few days later, you found yourself in front of your mirror adjusting your suit’s jacket for the billionth time before your interview.  The suit looked good on you, and professional.  Though you still knew that you had that Omega air about you. An Alpha or Beta could identify you on scent, on sight, even without the collar around your neck.
All Omegas were required to wear a collar once they presented as an Omega.  Puppies (children) presented their secondary gender, their caste, officially toward the end of puberty, usually around 16 or 17 years old.  There were usually signs before that of what a puppy would be when they matured and you’d heard that there was a test that puppies could take now to determine what they would present as.  
The collar you wore was the generic collar every Omega wore until they were claimed by an Alpha.  It was silver and plain, thin, not heavy at all, but you would never forget it was there, not since the day it had been locked on.  Only an Alpha could remove it.  And only your Alpha would, when you were claimed and mated, only to put his or her own collar on in its place. It was still a holdover from the old laws.  You’d never gotten a good answer as to why.  You always got some bullshit reason about knowing who to protect.  Omegas were more rare than Alphas or Betas, so you weren’t surprised the law hadn’t changed.
There was nothing you could do about it.  And it wasn’t ugly.  But it did single you out as an unclaimed Omega.  Especially at your age.  There was no specific age to find your Alpha, but most Omegas you knew your own age were already claimed.   
You knew it made you a target.  You could be claimed against your will, mated against you will, if you didn’t already have an Alpha.  That didn’t mean you were going to settle.
That was also why the company was sending a car to pick you up for your interview.  Beta Ann had said that a Beta security guard from the company to escort you safely to and from the interview.  
You made sure you had your phone in your purse as well as your resume before you headed out of the house.  You said goodbye to Beta Ann and only left once the Beta security guard, a many named Happy of all things, rang the bell to collect you.  
Your eyes widened when you saw the limo that was waiting to take you to the interview.  What the hell kind of company was this?  The information hadn’t been passed along to you. You didn’t know of Beta Ann knew or not.  She didn’t deem it important enough information to tell you if she did know.  
Happy opened the limo’s door for you and you thanked him softly and politely as you took the seat inside.  He gave you the warm smile everyone gave Omegas.  They couldn’t help it.  Your presence was soothing to everyone.  He shut the door behind you and got in the driver’s seat.  Soon you were driving through the city, toward the city center.  You watched out the window with interest, curious as to where this company could be.  What this company could be.
You didn’t know what you were expecting.  
Whatever it was, it wasn’t your limo stopping at the VIP parking in front of the Avengers’ tower.  It wasn’t the press that were staked out to catch pictures of the superheroes and anyone who came to visit the tower.  It wasn’t Happy parking in that VIP section and coming around to open your door again for you.
The Avengers.
You were interviewing for the Avengers.
You couldn’t believe your luck.  This really was the perfect opportunity. 
You understood immediately that this was a test.  
An Omega who couldn’t handle the press, couldn’t handle the surprise of showing up at the tower, who broke down at any little uncertainty or surprise, wasn’t an Omega that would work out for the team and wouldn’t be what they needed.
Desperately in your soul, you knew that this was what you needed and you vowed to do anything in your power to make sure you got this job. 
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fantastic-rambles · 3 years
Text
The Snakes’ Deception
Fandom: Haikyuu!! (@aikk00's Racing AU)
Characters (in order of appearance): Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou, Yaku Morisuke, Sakishima Isumi, Daishou Suguru, Fukunaga Shouhei, Yamamoto Taketora, Haiba Lev, other Nekoma members (not mentioned by name)
Warnings: Physical Violence, Language
Word Count: 2.2k
Summary: When the Snakes, led by Daishou Suguru, come to challenge Kuroo for the title of Drift King, the Nekoma Crew isn’t going to take that lying down. But when the Snakes start to play nasty, the stakes are raised even further, and Kuroo has to fight to stay calm and prove that he’s the undisputed champion.
[A/N: RIP my dozen other drafts for other stories. I actually was planning to write this a few days before the Daishou art (also by aikk00), except I knew practically nothing about drift racing so I needed to do research, lul. I watched Tokyo Drift, some Initial D, some Grand Tour, and did a lot of reading online on drift racing and drifting in general, but tbh, I still don’t quite understand the mechanics (I don’t drive stick and I can’t go out and learn how to drift), so I apologize if this is horribly inaccurate. :P]
"The road condition looks good today, but it's still a little wet from earlier. Watch yourself going into the turns so you don't end up spinning out. The Snakes will probably do something though, especially since they asked you to race with Sakishima before Daishou. It should be okay when you're in the lead, but be ready to take defensive measures when you're chasing. My guess is that they'll try to take advantage of your skill at closing the gap and your power-over drift to orchestrate some sort of accident," Kenma commented quietly without looking up from his laptop, his fingers tapping away as he inputted a continuous stream of data. He seemed oblivious to the roar of the crowd outside the car, and Kuroo reached over to tousle his black-and-gold hair affectionately.
"Got it, Kenma. Anything else?"
"I know you won't listen, but you should just go all-out from the start. Not your usual way of racing. But if you do end up chasing, just do a normal drift and keep space between you and Sakishima. If they are aiming for an accident, it's more likely to happen when you're on the outside, so it'll slam into your side and Sakishima will be safe. But your numbers look good. I'm just going to tell Yaku-san to put a little more air into your rear tires," Kenma replied, closing the lid on his laptop and pushing open the passenger-side door, letting the sound of cheering and taunts into the vehicle. After he'd left and closed the door, Kuroo rolled down his window to light a cigarette, letting the smoke drift out into the night sky. Kenma hadn't said anything that he hadn't expected--especially with regard to the Snakes--but it was always reassuring to get their analyst's perspective before a race. Kenma wasn't the type to get fired up like the rest of the crew, but that cool-headed analysis was part of the reason they were able to climb so high in the rankings despite not always having the best cars or the best drivers. The ridiculous title of "Drift King" that he'd somehow ended up with was the result of Kenma's work as much as his own.
Still, Kenma was right. Even if it meant getting into an accident, Kuroo didn't intend to change the way he drifted. Part of the thrill of these races was the pure adrenaline high from going fast, especially when there was the risk of injury or even death. It was the reason why he'd mastered the power-over drift so that he could keep accelerating through the turn, and swung close enough to his opponents during his chases to make them panic. Even against the Snakes and their underhanded dealings, he'd show them that his way of fighting was still better, no matter what they threw at him.
He looked up when a shadow fell over him as Yaku leaned over his open window, the electric pump in his hand.
"You're good to go, Kuroo. Go ahead and show off," Yaku shouted over the din. Kuroo nodded, flicking his cigarette out the window and rolling up the glass. Yaku stepped back as he revved the engine, pulling up to the starting line where Sakishima was already waiting. Unlike most racers, Kuroo preferred chasing from the start to throw his opponent off his game. Before he'd inherited the title of Drift King, he'd been known as the Comeback Kid for his knack for overcoming what was traditionally seen as an unfavorable position. But the psychological benefit of overtaking the opponent and the pressure it put on the other racer, in addition to his skill with his clean lines and sharp angles that allowed him to do so consistently, had eventually shot him to the top of the Tokyo drifting world.
At the signal, Sakishima peeled past the starting line, and Kuroo quickly shot after him, staying close to his tail as they sped down the course. Even though his heart was racing, his head was completely clear, every sense focused on the view just beyond his windshield. Both he and Kenma were confident that Sakishima wouldn't try anything until the turn, but that was no reason to relax, especially at the speeds that they were going. Still, nothing happened when they reached the first clipping point, and Kuroo's eyes narrowed as he quickly estimated the distances and speeds between their cars, making his calculations swiftly and throwing himself into a drift just a heartbeat after Sakishima.
And it was perfect. His hand rested casually on the wheel as his tires squealed, sending up plumes of smoke as the tail of his car whipped around the curve, flying nearly parallel to Sakishima. The Snake seemed rattled as he spun into the next turn, turning slightly wide as Kuroo effortlessly stuck to him, their cars nearly touching as Kuroo grinned. It was pretty clear already which of them was the better drifter, not that it had ever been a question.
He let the car carry itself into the third point with just a few adjustments on his side, almost laughing as Sakishima had to drag on his own wheel to make the turn. The perfect chance presented itself almost immediately, and he aimed for the gap in Sakishima's barely controlled swing. But then, suddenly, the other car was spinning out as the Snake overcompensated, an out-of-control, two-ton wrecking ball flying toward him.
Kuroo jerked his wheel, pulling himself out of the drift and spinning out himself, the two cars making donuts on the road until he couldn't tell left from right. But the ominous crunch of metal never came, and when his car finally screeched to a stop, Kuroo slapped himself out of the harness and kicked his door open, stepping out onto the asphalt and casting his glare out at the spectators, looking for one specific slit-eyed face in particular.
"Daishou!" he bellowed, stomping toward the crowd and seizing the Snake by the collar, dragging him over the barrier. "What the fuck was that?"
But the other man just stared at him, all wide-eyed innocence. "'What the fuck' was what, Kuroo-san? Isumi made a mistake. Everyone saw that. He's not used to wet roads, but that's why I asked you to run with him so he could get some practice, because you're the only one good enough to not get hurt if he really fucks up. Like he did."
"Don't give me that bullshit!" Kuroo spun and slammed Daishou onto the ground, making the Snake wince as his back made contact with the asphalt. "That trick had your slime smeared all over it. You wanted to use Sakishima to take me out so you'd win the next run by default. If I hadn't been expecting something like that from you, I'd probably be in an ambulance on my way to the hospital right now."
Sakishima had caught up to them and was now clinging to Kuroo's arm, trying to pull him off while babbling insincere apologies. Kuroo shrugged him off impatiently as Daishou's hands landed on his wrist, trying to make him let go, but Kuroo shook him like a terrier with a rat, the adrenaline and testosterone giving him an incredible high.
"Really, Kuroo-san. Ask anyone. They would all say that it's a normal accident," Daishou protested. "You know these kinds of things happen all the time. But you're okay, Isumi's okay. No harm, no foul, right?"
The crowd was murmuring in the background, but Kuroo couldn't hear what they were saying through the blood pounding in his ears. He was just drawing his fist back to punch that smarmy smile off the Snake's face when a deluge of water crashed over both of them. Sputtering, he looked up to see Shouhei holding an empty bucket, Kenma standing beside him.
"Cooled off, Kuro?" Kenma asked in his deadpan voice as he approached them. "Or should I ask Fukunaga to get another bucket?"
Kuroo grimaced, shaking the water out of his eyes and hair as he leaned back slightly, still not letting Daishou go. Kenma crouched beside him, speaking softly, so that the crowd couldn't hear.
"You know that the Snakes are just like this. To everyone else, this does look like a normal accident. If you go any further, you're the one that's going to get a bad reputation. Right now, we can still pass it off as the heat of the moment. Let him go, Kuro."
"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Kuro," Daishou taunted. Kuroo's expression shut down, and he drew back his arm again. But this time, Kenma clung to it, still hissing in his ear.
"Stop it, Kuro. You know that everyone says that. They've been saying it for years. It doesn't mean anything. Stop letting him get to you!"
Kuroo grimaced again, but he listened to Kenma, letting his friend quietly talk him down until he was calm enough to shove Daishou away and get up. Accepting a towel from Shouhei, he tousled his hair dry while glaring at Daishou, who got back to his feet with as much dignity as he could muster.
"Sakishima-san forfeited the run," Kenma continued, still talking in his flat, measured tone. "So you'll be up against Daishou later. Are you up to it?"
"Fuck yeah, I'm ready to beat his ass," Kuroo snarled, and Kenma nodded at Shouhei, who ran across the asphalt to retrieve Kuroo's car. They'd probably replace the rear wheels to be safe, and then Kenma would have to run his checks again, but when they were done, his car would be better than new and more than ready to run the cheating bastard into the ground.
He reached into his pocket to pull out his pack of cigarettes, bending over to accept Kenma's offer of a light, and took a deep drag to steady his nerves. Being emotional during a race was the fastest way to get a ride to the morgue, so he needed to re-center himself. By then, the rest of his team had caught up to him, and Tora's particularly heated spiel about Daishou and his team helped bleed away most of the anger as they walked back to the starting line. Kenma had slipped away at some point, and Yaku was nowhere to be seen, so they were probably working on the car while he settled down. Really, he didn't deserve his friends.
By the time they arrived back at the beginning, the cool night air had washed away the rest of his irritation, which was probably Kenma's intention in making him walk back with the others. Shouhei and Yaku had just finished installing new tires, and Kenma was hunched over his laptop again on the curb, only looking up briefly when Kuroo sat down next to him.
"Thanks."
Kenma shrugged, his face bleached by the light from his screen. "I'm just doing my job."
"I mean earlier."
Kenma shrugged again, and a comfortable silence settled between them, broken only by the clicking of the keyboard. The rest of the team was huddled around the car, making checks and occasionally bringing Kenma more numbers, gradually shifting to sit around their captain and his brain, filling the silence with their chatter as other drifters made their runs.
"Hey, wait! You're playing a game, Kenma!" Lev protested, peering over Kenma's shoulder. "What about the race?"
"Kuroo will be fine," Kenma replied calmly as Kuroo looked over at his screen too, which seemed to be displaying the view through a sniper's scope. "His car's fine, and Daishou wants to beat Kuroo. If he tries the same thing, it'll be suspicious, and even if he did, if Kuroo doesn't spin out again, then Daishou will lose. And Kuroo is better than him, so if he does try anything else, it'd be more likely that he'd mess up and Kuroo would still win. His best chance at this point is a fair fight, and that means Kuroo could drive laps around him all day."
Kuroo grinned, standing up and stretching. "Well then, I guess that's my cue to get ready. I'll see you all at the finish line."
He walked over to his car, standing by the driver's door and just running a hand over the shining, red exterior for a moment. Then, taking a deep breath, he got inside, strapping himself down. The familiar feeling of exhilaration that he got just before a run made him smile as he pulled into place behind the next pair of cars, watching out of the corner of his eye as Daishou pulled up next to him.
And then, soon enough, they were flying down the road, Kuroo chasing again, keeping the pressure on his opponent. As Kenma had said, there was no way for Daishou to beat him, and he proved that as he took the lead at the very first bend, hitting the edge perfectly while gunning his engine through the whole course, making the best run that he'd probably ever done and leaving Daishou in his dust. If it was possible, he was even sharper on the turns than he had been against Sakishima, pushing himself and his car to the utmost limit. And there was no better feeling than watching the Snake come up to him to shake his hand after his loss, smiling like it hurt his teeth.
"As expected of the Drift King. But it won't last forever. Someday, someone will knock you off that throne."
And Kuroo had smiled back, the smirk that he knew infuriated Daishou more than anything else.
"Come at me whenever you want. I'll beat you down every time."
[A/N2: This isn't KuroKen. They're just really good childhood friends, so Kenma knows how to calm Kuroo down because they've been part of each other's lives for so long, and Kenma in particular is good at paying attention to people. Kuroo gets pissed at Daishou for calling Kenma his "girlfriend" not because of the implication that he's "whipped" (because Kuroo is perfectly secure in his masculinity), but rather because I have a headcanon that Kenma got teased a lot for being "girly" (weak, thin, kinda androgenous, etc.) growing up, so Kuroo still gets upset when that's used to insult his best friend (even though Kenma honestly doesn't give a fuck). But they're not in a romantic relationship; they just spend a lot of time together.
Of course, if you wanna interpret it as KuroKen, that's your prerogative, but that wasn't my intention in writing this.]
88 notes · View notes
charincharge · 4 years
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I Don’t Want To Wait, seven
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rowaelin high school bff au masterlist
Based on the prompt:
Sharing is caring. Now, give me the hoodie!
“I’m never drinking again,” Aelin moaned as she rolled over on Lysandra’s bed, shoving her head under the pillow. She knew Rowan had censored himself filling in the gaps of her night. Saying she was an angry drunk, though accurate, was not quite specific enough.
Apparently, she and Rowan had had a screaming match in the kitchen that he failed to mention, and Aelin had zero recollection of.
“The entire kitchen cleared out,” Lysandra explained, “Lyria included. But you were… pretty loud.”
Aelin groaned into the pillow.
“Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
Lysandra patted Aelin’s foot, trying to be comforting, but Aelin didn’t want to be comforted right now. She kicked Lysandra’s hand away.
“This is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Lysandra snorted and poked her bare foot. “At least he thought you were talking about someone else?”
Aelin peeked out from beneath the pillow and frowned again. “That is so much worse. Now he thinks I’m mad at him for not letting me kiss NOX OWEN.”
“What else was he supposed to think? You can’t exactly blame him. You smacked his drink out of his hand and started screeching about how he ruined your kissing plans.”  
“As if I’d ever have a chance with Nox. I barely even have a chance with Rowan, and he’s been my best friend since we were eight.” Aelin sighed loudly. “Whatever. Everything is ruined now. He’s going to prom with Lyria.”
Lysandra frowned, the pity evident in her bright green eyes as she flopped down next to Aelin on her comforter. “I’m sorry, boo.”
“Tell me one more time,” Aelin sighed. “Exactly what we both said. Every word.”
“In the kitchen?”
Aelin nodded.
“You stared at Lyria’s hand for like… a full ten seconds. Then you smacked the drink out of Rowan’s hand, and screamed – Where’s my drink, bitch? And he very calmly said, What the fuck, Aelin? Because… you know. The drink spilled all over the floor. Then you screamed at the top of your lungs, I NEEDED ANOTHER DRINK, AND YOU RUINED EVERYTHING. And he did that eyebrow thing you hate and asked, What did I ruin? And then you screamed back KISSING PLANS. That’s when the kitchen started emptying out.” Aelin groaned.
“It’s so much worse hearing it again.”
Lysandra paused. “Do you want me to repeat the rest?” And Aelin nodded tentatively. It was masochistic, but she needed to hear it all again.
Lysandra sighed loudly, knowing the worst was about to happen. “You fucking raged, Aelin. You incoherently started screaming – I HAD KISSING PLANS. AMAZING REAL FIRST KISS PLANS AND YOU RUINED THEM BY GETTING DISTRACTED.” She crinkled her nose at that. “And it looked like Rowan was going to say something, but you just kept going on and on about your ruined kissing plans. You called him an idiot….” Aelin cringed. She couldn’t believe how belligerent she was. “And then you screamed, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME BACK WITH MY DRINK. THE DRINK WAS INTEGRAL TO MY KISSING PLAN. Which, by the way, nice SAT vocab drop while you were blackout drunk. That was impressive.”
Aelin couldn’t do anything more than flick off her friend. She was too busy berating herself for all the stupid things she didn’t remember saying when she was drunk. She’d been this close to telling Rowan she’d planned to kiss him. And she’d said FIRST KISS. It wasn’t like she hadn’t kissed anyone before – she totally had. There’d been several games of truth or dare which included kisses and a braces-filled makeout session at Camp Terrasen in eighth grade. She’d just meant their first kiss. She wanted to die.
“Then he got really mad himself and screamed back at you that you should have told him about your kissing plans, so he didn’t ruin your night. And you screamed back it didn’t matter since it was already ruined and clearly you could get your own drink.”
“I think that’s when he realized you’d had a little too much to drink that he’d clearly missed. And he sought out Nox, who explained the drink chugging, and while that happened, you literally chugged another drink and then launched yourself at Salvaterre.”
“I have to apologize,” Aelin said, but Lysandra shook her head.
“He didn’t bring it up for a reason.” Lysandra softened her eyes, running her hand through Aelin’s freshly showered hair. “I think once you punched Lorcan he chocked everything up to wasted nonsense.”
Aelin shoved her face into Lysandra’s pillow and let out a low laugh. What a nightmare. “I’m just grateful you and Elide were there to change me,” she said. “I can’t even imagine my embarrassment if Rowan had to peel me out of puke-covered clothes.”
“Yeah, you owe us for that one.”
Aelin’s mouth dropped in shock. “You left me to sleep on the bathroom floor!”
Lysandra laughed. “Only because you scissor kicked Rowan in the knee when he and Wes tried to take you up the stairs.” She looked at Aelin. “He’s not mad at you, Ace. He was going to let you sleep in his bed. Puke-covered and all.”
Aelin rolled onto her back. “But he’s going to prom with Lyria,” Aelin repeated again.
“She’s nice,” Lysandra quipped, causing Aelin to glare at her. “But she’s not you.” Aelin’s lips quirked upward at that. “He’ll figure it out eventually,” she said, letting Aelin breathe a sigh of relief. She really hoped Lysandra’s assessment was true. “Or he won’t, and you’ll spend the rest of your life pining away.”
Aelin snorted loudly. “Gee, thanks.”
“Welcome, bitch.”
Lysandra paused, her green eyes soft and nervous instead of holding their usual brash confidence as she continued. “I know you and Rowan are special best friends with, like, a special best friend song and everything.”
“We do not have a special best friend song?” Aelin interrupted, causing Lysandra to laugh and boop her nose softly.
“You do. It’s ‘Dancing In The Moonlight,’ which is adorable, but not my point.”
“And that is…?”
“I know I’ll never be Rowan, but I’m still a best friend, and if you need to talk about things… you can tell me. Especially if they’re Rowan things.”
Aelin bit her lip and breathed nervously. “I’m glad you know.”
“Oh, babe,” Lysandra laughed, rubbing Aelin’s shoulder softly. “I’ve known about your feelings for years. I’m just glad you finally told me.”
Aelin groaned and shoved her head under the pillow again.
~*~
Dear journal,
I don’t know who else to talk about this with. I know Lysandra KNOWS now, but I just need to vent to someone impartial, okay? Things with Rowan are so weird… because they’re not weird at all. After Lys told me what I screamed at him, I was sure he’d finally come out and clear the air, but it’s been a WHOLE WEEK, and he hasn’t said anythingggg. Everything is just…. normal??? He even let me keep the lacrosse sweatshirt Lys and El put me in. I tried to give it back, but he told me it was mine now. What the hell is THAT about? What does it mean?
I want to tell him I know about the fight, but then I’d have to explain I was screaming about kissing him, and I don’t know if he wants to hear that anymore.
All I know is that every time I look at him I feel like I’m about to explode. Not to mention I’m about to go suit shopping with him for ~PROM~ and I’m kind of freaking out. What is Rowan in a TUX going to do to my body? I might just combust there on the spot. Maybe he’s right. I should ask Lys to teach me how to … you know (masturbate). I tried to watch a video (I KNOW), but I got a million pop ups and got too nervous and shut my laptop off. Maybe I should look on my phone next time. Do phones get pop ups?
UGH OKAY. HE’S HERE. WISH ME LUCK.
Xo, Aelin
5/21/20 – age 16
Aelin slammed her journal shut and shoved it under her stack of decoy notebooks in her nightstand just before Rowan appeared in her doorway.
“Ready to go, Ace?”
She nodded and stretched her arms above her head, shaking out her hand, which was cramped from writing so neatly in her journals.
“Don’t you want to bring a jacket?” Rowan asked, looking at Aelin’s bared stomach pointedly.
“It’s almost June, Buzzard, don’t be such a prude,” she answered, her arms self-consciously crossing over the chest of her cropped t-shirt.
He rolled his eyes, leading them back downstairs, and Aelin grabbed her purse and followed. “Don’t come complaining to me when you’re too cold.”
“I would never,” she gasped, feigning shock. “And don’t forget you owe me post-shopping ice cream.”
“Oh, bring me back a pint of chocolate peanut butter,” Rhoe called out from the kitchen, his blue eyes peering out from behind the giant pages of the Orynth Times.
“Sure thing, Dad,” Aelin called out, passing by the kitchen with a wave.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Aelin doubled back and peered into the kitchen where her exhausted looking dad sat. “Rowan is taking you shopping? Has hell frozen over? Rowan, how did you get conned into this?”
Aelin looked up at Rowan, who scratched his head uncomfortably. “She’s actually taking me shopping. I need a tux for prom…” Rowan trailed off, his cheeks turning slightly pink as Rhoe returned a surprised look at the child who was practically his surrogate son.
“Ae, do you need a dress?” he asked, suddenly looking worried. Her dad would give her the moon if he could, but supporting a daughter on a firefighter’s single salary was often more than he could manage.
“Oh, no,” Aelin shook her head, carefully concealing her hurt feelings with a devilish smirk. “Rowan got asked to junior prom.”
Rhoe’s eyes widened, flickering between his daughter and Rowan rapidly, before smiling softly. “An older woman, eh?”
“It’s not like that…” Rowan grumbled, his cheeks flushing slightly as he looked down at the ground at his well-worn running sneakers. “I barely know her. I just said yes to be polite…”
“Sure, Buzzard,” Aelin said, poking Rowan’s side. He frowned at her unhappily, flicking her finger away.
Rhoe barked out a loud laugh. “Have fun, you two.” He fixed Aelin with a serious stare. “Make sure he picks out something really embarrassing, kiddo.” His stare broke as he winked, sending them off on their way, Rowan rushing out of the house as fast as his feet could carry him.
“Oh yeah,” Aelin laughed. “I’m putting him in blue ruffles first.”
“You are not!” Rowan called from outside, already starting up the jeep.
Aelin waved goodbye to her dad and hopped into the passenger seat, cranking up her mix, which was still playing in Rowan’s car.
~*~
“I look stupid,” Rowan whined, shoving his hands into the pockets of the umpteenth different styled tux the shop attendant had pulled for him. This one was black, again, but some kind of shiny material, and the pants had a stripe up the side.
Aelin couldn’t help the small frown that tugged at her lips at how picky her best friend was being. She honestly assumed the boy who mostly lived in athletic shorts and t-shirts would be fine with the first suit he tried on, but he was being finnicky and far too particular for someone who “just said yes to be polite.” And it was starting to get on her nerves. What she thought was going to be an exercise in sexual restraint was actually just trying her patience.
“Shiny, no good!” the salesman agreed, his accent curling thickly around his criticism.
Rowan sighed and turned to look at Aelin, who did her hardest to neutralize her facial expression before he saw her frown, but it was too late.
“I knew it,” Rowan grumbled, peeling the jacket off and handing it to the salesman, who cleared out the full dressing room again, and Aelin gnawed at her lip, trying to think of something comforting to say.
“It’s not bad…”
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ace.”
“Language!” the salesman snapped, and Rowan’s mood lifted for a brief second as he laughed in shock, his eyes going straight to Aelin, as if to say Can you believe this guy? She shook her head in agreement, and she was relieved to see a smile on his face for the first time in two hours.
Aelin pushed herself off the small chair in the communal dressing room space and approached Rowan. She cocked her head to the side and let her eyes shamelessly trail his form. He was right about this particular suit. It did look stupid. But none of the suits, all in differing shades and cuts of black, had looked right. As her gaze trailed back up to his face, his breath held, patiently waiting for her conclusion, Aelin had a stroke of genius.
“Black isn’t your color, Ro. It’s washing you out.” Rowan’s face scrunched at her assessment, clearly unpleased. But the stark contrast between the white and black, combined with his pale hair was doing something to his usually tanned and glowing skin, and it wasn’t good.
“I refuse to wear a light blue suit,” he said, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Not something bright. Just… subtle color,” Aelin explained, and the salesman started nodding rapidly.
“Ah, yes, the Bellissima is correct. Color. Yes, color! COLOR!”
He excitedly ran back into the shop and returned with suits in various dark shades of navy and emerald and maroon slung over his shoulder. Aelin watched in amusement as he shoved Rowan back into the dressing room, telling him to try the green first.
Aelin stood impatiently, arms crossed and leaning against one of the 360 mirrors, hoping against all hopes that her assessment was correct. She wasn’t sure she could endure another two hours of this. Another five minutes would be bad enough, to be honest.
When Rowan walked out to the small platform, she knew she’d nailed itt. Her pulse thrummed loudly, and she could feel her lips part, inhaling a large gasp into her drying mouth. Rowan looked…
“Wow,” Aelin whispered at the same time Rowan said, “Huh,” peering into the mirror.
Aelin stood up straighter, pushing herself up and getting a closer view of the striking boy in front of her. The green was so dark, it just barely contrasted with the black lapels and trim of the suit, but the color brough a warmth to his face that had been missing, the green of his irises prominent beneath his long blonde lashes. Those bright eyes peered over at Aelin, searching for her reaction, and she couldn’t help the soft blush that appeared across her skin as they locked with hers.
Rowan cleared his throat, coughing lightly as he smoothed the jacket out, pulling the lapels gently. “Uh, yeah. Good call, Ace.”
Aelin lifted her long hair into a high bun, needing something to do with herself besides stare and to allow the breeze of the store fan to cool the back of her neck.
“The one!” the salesman cooed, running his hands across Rowan’s broad shoulders proudly. “We did it!”
When Aelin looked back up, she was surprised to see Rowan’s eyes still on her, gauging her reaction with curiosity. He raised a blonde brow in her direction, and Aelin was afraid for a second that she was going to launch herself at him right there and kiss his face.
Instead swallowed loudly and clapped her hands, shaking off the intensity of his gaze and smiled broadly. “About time, Buzzard. Now, let’s go get me some ice cream.”
The moment was broken as Rowan rolled his eyes and made his way back into the changing room, slinging the suit over the door as Aelin exhaled and slumped back into the chair for a brief reprieve.
“Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream,” Aelin chanted as Rowan paid for the tux rental.
Rowan slung his arm over Aelin’s shoulders and smiled down at her. “Fine. You earned it.”
“Hell yeah, I did,” Aelin said, as the salesperson shouted, “Language!” at them again, as they ran out of the store, both giggling.
By the time they reached their favorite ice cream spot, the sun had set, and the swift down current breeze of the Staghorn Mountains had started up, cooling the temperature significantly from the balmy afternoon Aelin had dressed for.
She looked out at the dark water, shivering slightly as she took her first bite of mint chocolate chip. Rowan bit back a smile as he wrapped his hoodie around himself tighter, keeping the winds out, happily eating his cookie dough without danger of freezing to death.
On her third bite, Aelin finally broke. “Oh come on, Buzzard, sharing is caring. Now, give me the hoodie.”
“I told you to bring your jacket!” Rowan laughed just as a particularly strong gust cut against Aelin’s exposed skin, making her shudder. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” he snorted, opening up the hoodie and nodding to her. “Get in here.”
“Really?” she asked, teeth chattering.
“You’re the worst,” he joked as he unzipped his hoodie and held it open, and Aelin practically raced into it. Rowan’s smile grew as he zipped the hoodie back up, which shockingly stretched large enough to fit them both. Just barely. Aelin pressed her cheek against his chest, soaking in his warmth as his free hand rubbed her back. She shivered again, but this time having nothing to do with the cold, warmth and desire radiating through her body as she felt every twitch of his muscles, every shallow breath.
“Better?” he asked, and she nodded, smiling happily into her next bite of ice cream. She savored each bite, not wanting the moment to end too soon. Each bite tasting better than the last, surrounded in Rowan’s grasp and heat. She breathed in, his heady scent filling her head, his embrace feeling so perfect around her. Her stomach calmed, everything suddenly feeling so right.
“Thanks, Ace,” he said quietly, resting his chin on her head. “I know that’s not how you wanted to spend your Saturday.”
Aelin finished her last bite and leaned harder into his warm chest. “I don’t care how we spend our Saturdays,” Aelin admitted. “As long as we’re hanging out.”
“Cool,” Rowan said, sounding so lame that Aelin couldn’t help but laugh, and she could feel him hiding his own smile in her hair. “Okay, we have to get back into the car,” he laughed outright, his hands rubbing circles onto her back, and Aelin shook her head into his shirt. No, she wanted to stay just like this forever.
“I’ll freeze to death!” she countered instead.
“We’ll just have to make a run for it. I don’t plan on losing you tonight, Ace.” Aelin groaned, but Rowan knew he’d won. “On the count of three,” he warned her. “One… two…” On three, he unzipped the hoodie, and Aelin screeched, her voice raising to glass shattering levels as she sprinted towards the jeep, wind whipping through her thin t-shirt and cutting against her warmed skin like ice.
Rowan unlocked the jeep as they ran, and they both launched themselves into their seats simultaneously, joyful laughter bubbling up in both of them and filling the car.
Aelin watched Rowan as he turned the car on, and immediately cranked up the heat. Her stomach fluttered again, and she crossed her legs to quell the ache of desire that had begun to take over her body.
As stealthily as she could, she pulled out her phone and texted Lysandra again.
I need some help.
Her phone lit up with Lysandra’s returning message almost immediately. XYZ kind of help???
Aelin snorted at the use of Rowan’s code name. Lysandra had suggested if Aelin ever wanted to talk about Rowan in text, she probably shouldn’t use his name. Just in case he ever saw. Aelin had immediately suggested his initials, RW, but Lysandra smartly pointed out he was the only RW they knew. Lysandra cackled, suggesting XYZ – because it came right after W. And with any luck, Aelin would be coming soon.
Aelin’s cheeks flushed as she texted back. Can you teach me/instruct me/explain how to masturbate?
OMG!!!!! MY BABY BUTTERFLY, YES YES YES GIRLLLLL!!!
Aelin laughed softly, and Rowan looked at her curiously, from her cheeks to the phone lit up in her hand.
“Who could you possibly be texting right now?” he asked, and if Aelin didn’t know better she would have thought he maybe sounded slightly put out.
“Lysandra,” she answered, a little too quickly, but her heart was beating too fast at the inappropriate back and forth she and Lys were having, especially since she wanted to fantasize about the person sitting right next to her while she… learned.
“What about?” Rowan asked, curious.
Aelin bit her lip. “You were right,” she said, her face probably beet red. She was grateful he couldn’t entirely see the color in the dark.
“About what?” he asked. “I mean, I’m often right about a lot of things,” he added cheekily.
“Masturbation,” Aelin replied as confidently as she could, while feeling like her skin was going to burn her alive. The car swerved slightly as Rowan snapped his head to look in her direction.
“Yeah?” he asked, his voice sounding strained and high.
“Lysandra’s going to teach me.”
Aelin could feel her best friend’s gaze puncturing holes into her flaming cheeks as he searched for something to say. But when she looked up, she couldn’t speak fast enough.
“ROWAN!” she shouted as the jeep crashed straight into the taillights of the car in front of them.
~*~*~*~
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reinersbb · 3 years
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𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 [𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐊𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 / 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔] Chapter Two- Coffee Girl
Chapter Two of ‘Forget’
You could still recall the ringing sensation you felt vibrate through your ears when those words left Floch's mouth. Those horrid series of words tormented you for the rest of the evening, and through the morning of the next day.
You had spent the rest of your Friday night in bed, alone, in your dark dorm room by yourself.
A Friday night that'd gone to waste.
You were slightly thankful that your dorm mate never came back last night. Not that you didn't like your roommate, because you did, it's just you knew how awkward it would be to sob your heart out in front of someone. Your roommate was a good person, but when it came to emotions and people-stuff, she was very blunt and confrontational.
At this point during the day, you had no more tears left to give. You've run dry. The mid-morning sun that broke through the window to your immediate right caused a stream of light to cascade across you and your bed and into the rest of the blackened room.
Your fingertips curled over the edge of the comforter, pulling the blanket up against your neck as you rolled over onto your left side, facing away from the window and to the openness of the room. Your eyes were locked on the floor, or specifically, the light that snuck in from underneath the door. You held your gaze at that particular spot until the sounds of familiar voices approached the door, along with shadows that rippled in the light from under the door that peered in.
The door handle jiggled until eventually you were exposed to the people behind it in all of your post-breakup glory.
"Shit, (Y/N), you're still in bed? Are you hungover or something?" Your roommate asked, standing in the middle of the doorway with her girlfriend, "it's almost noon."
Almost noon?
By this point, you've already accepted the fact that you were going to have to face the music and spill what happened between you and Floch. Because she was going to get it out of you anyway.
Ymir was very perceptive like that.
"No, I'm awake," you admitted.
As soon as the reply left your lips, she went for the light switch and turned the light on. At the initial contact, the light burned your eyes and you tightly clamped your eyelids shut. You battled with yourself with a series of blinks until you were able to keep your eyes open completely.
"Hey guys," you finally greeted.
"Hi, (Y/N)," the small blonde greeted with a bright smile on her face, but once she got a good look at you, the smile faded away, "are you alright?"
"I'm not okay, actually," you knew for a fact that it wasn't best for you to lie.
Ymir got a better look at you, "what the hell happened to you then? You look like you've been crying," her intimidating eyes stared you down like she was doing a full-blown analysis.
"Floch broke up with me," you said, finally sitting up straight in your bed, the comforter rippling down from your chest.
Historia looked at you, eyes wide, "I don't understand, you guys seemed so perfect together, why would he do that?"
You sighed, "I don't know."
In all honesty, you asked yourself that question over too many times last night.
'Why would he do this? Why would he break up with me? Just because he wanted to go separate ways? What kind of excuse is that? I thought we were on the same page.'
"He must be out of his mind to break up with you," Historia approached your bedside, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress with you.
Historia was basically your third roommate even though she didn't live in the same dorm with you and Ymir. You thought it a little odd the few times Ymir would show up without Historia by her side. That just goes to show how often the two were with one another.
You and Floch weren't like that though. There were days you'd go without seeing each other but would make up on missed time on the days the two of you would hang out. Which was supposed to be last night.
"Men, such assholes," Ymir scoffed, the weight shifting in the bed when Ymir sat near the foot of the bed to the right of Historia, "I can't stand them," she wrapped an arm around the petite blonde's shoulders.
"Floch didn't even deserve you anyways," Historia spoke with a comforting smile, you could tell that she was trying her best to make you feel better.
You were thankful for both Historia and Ymir, especially in times like this. The two of them made up the majority of the small handful of friends you had.
"Thanks," your eyes fell, staring at the comforter as your fingernails fiddled with the material. "Looks like I'm going to be third-wheeling a lot more now," you chuckled dryly.
Occasionally, you, Floch, Ymir, and Historia would go on double dates together. You guessed that was an end to that tradition.
"Doesn't sound like a problem to me," Ymir said. "Speaking of being a third-wheel, you should come out with us tonight, (y/n), it'll be fun."
"Wha-"
"This frat party, we were invited last night," Historia said, her big blue eyes staring at you sympathetically.
A party? While the thought of going out did tempt you, you still weren't sure if getting shit-faced and having to deal with a hangover the next day would be worth it if you still had to study for a test you had on Monday.
"I don't know you guys, I have this test on Monday and..."
But at the same time, how could you even focus on studying when Floch was constantly stuck on your mind? Sitting in your room pining over a guy who probably wasn't even thinking about you for the second day in a row would be worthless.
"Come on, (Y/N), please come out with us tonight so you can get your mind off of everything," Historia pleaded with a cheerful tone, "there's no use sitting inside crying over some jerk."
Ymir pinched Historia's right cheek, "how could you possibly say no to this cute face?"
They were right. You knew they were right. You were just broken up with, you needed to go out and have a good time tonight.
Historia placed a gentle, comforting hand on top of your knee, "look, we can't force you to go with us, but just know you deserve to have fun and happiness."
At this point, you'd practically made up your decision in your mind.
"Fine, I'll go with you guys," your chest dropped with a light sigh and Historia gathered you into her arms with a small hug.
"Great!" Historia exclaimed before letting go of you to hop off of the bed.
Ymir followed Historia off of the bed, only stopping to turn and look at you, "be ready by ten, okay? Or sometime around then, it doesn't really matter."
After the conversation you had with both of them, you were invited to go out with them for lunch, which you accepted because you had skipped out on dinner yesterday. After lunch, you genuinely needed some time to yourself to get a short study session in, along with a post-breakup social media cleanse, erasing every single trace you had connected with Floch.
*****************
Your freshly shaved legs were crossed as you were sitting on the floor, your posture was anything less than angelic as you leaned hunched forward staring at yourself in your body mirror. You were wrapped in a damp cotton towel, getting ready for the awaited party. Music from your favorite playlist steadily playing in the background from your laptop that was positioned on top of your bed as you applied your makeup.
Historia sat down on the ground next to you, her petite frame wrapped in one of Ymir's robes as she applied makeup onto her face. While Ymir sat on top of her bed, one arm propped behind her head as she was absorbed into her phone absentmindedly, just waiting for both you and Historia to finish getting ready for the party.
When you finished applying your makeup, you packed up all of your items you had strewn about on the floor before zipping your makeup bag shut. You negligently tossed the bag of cosmetics onto your unmade bed before closing your laptop, cutting off the music with it.
Effortlessly scooping up the black satin spaghetti-strapped dress you had laid flat out onto your bed. Your fingertips needing over the cool satin material as you examined the dress in its entirety. While neither Ymir nor Historia was paying attention, you threw on matching black laced underwear before putting the dress, making sure to be careful not to mess up your hair and makeup.
"Ooh, you're wearing that number?" The sound of a sing-song expression from Historia made you forward your attention to her.
Historia ran a hand along with the material of her dress, adjusting the light pink halter dress she wore. A smile appeared on your face as you playfully stuck a pose.
"What do you think, Historia," you said, breaking from your pose, "am I doing too much?"
"I think you look like someone who is going to have lots of fun tonight," she winked at you knowingly.
After throwing on some black heels to match with the outfit, you examined yourself in the mirror. Turning around to stare at yourself from behind, examining the exposed portion of your back.
Just as all three of you were about to leave for the party, you spritzed yourself with a vanilla-scented perfume before grabbing your phone and handbag. After the three of you left the dorm room, you checked to see the time on your phone. The clock read half-past ten.
Only then did you notice the red battery icon in the upper right-hand corner on your screen. Somehow, you forgot to charge your phone this whole time.
"Dammit," you hissed under your breath, slapping yourself mentally.
"What's wrong, (Y/N)?" Ymir turned to look at you.
"I forgot to charge my phone," you groaned inwardly before locking the device and shoving it into your handbag, wanting to persevere any battery life you had left.
"It'll be alright, you shouldn't be needing your phone much tonight anyways," Historia shrugged, wrapping her arm around Ymir's.
**********
"Do I know anyone here?" You asked, following up the tall set of steps behind Ymir and Historia.
"You might, I know some of mine and Historia's friends will be here tonight," Ymir turned to look over her shoulder back at you momentarily.
Some of our friends. Though Ymir and Historia were your friends, you never brought it upon yourself to get to know anyone inside of their inner friend circle. It's not that you didn't want or care to, but most of the time when you went out it would've been with Floch or all four of you.
Most of the other times, Floch never seemed to be too much into parties, so you never indulged in those events either. Limiting your friend-making experiences.
Pushing through the already opened front door of the large frat house, the three of you entered into the overly-packed foyer. There were people already drunk out of their minds, even though it was hardly eleven.
The smell of different mixtures of smoke clouded your senses, and the volume of music thumped through your ears and all of your senses combined.
Historia held a grip onto your hand, along with Ymir's as the three of you formed a chain, pushing through the overly-dense crowd. The three of you stayed attached as a human chain until all of you made it across the scene where the majority of people were dancing.
Ymir informed both of you that she was going to run off and find some drinks for all of you before disappearing into the sea of people. Historia urged you to dance with her, complying with her demand, the both of you began dancing together along with the music that was bumping heavily in the background.
During mid-dance, you felt a hand firmly cup your ass, causing you to jump and lose your rhythm with the beat of the music. Immediately, you turned around to see who it was, only to realize it was just some drunk douchebag wearing sunglasses that was leaning in too close for your liking.
"Dude, fuck off," you snatched his hand away from your rear.
Historia bitched at the guy over the music as you regained your composure. Eventually, he retreated to somewhere else in the crowd.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry that jerk did that to you," Historia held onto your shoulders.
"I'll be okay, let's not worry about it," you tried reassuring Historia that you'd be fine.
"Okay, well we should probably go find Ymir," Historia called out, nodding her head into the direction Ymir left in.
Following along in agreement, you were only mildly upset that a drunk idiot had to ruin your mood this early on in the night. Almost making you wish that you stayed back home in the dorm.
"Ymir!" Historia called out, searching for her girlfriend as both of you pushed into the kitchen.
Skimming through all the random faces floating about in the kitchen, both of you realized that Ymir was nowhere in the vicinity.
Historia let out a sigh and turned to face you, "I'm going to go find Ymir, you can stay right here if you want to."
"I'll just stay around here and keep an eye out for Ymir, probably search for some snacks to eat on or something," you shrugged.
Historia smiled and made her departure from the kitchen. After the blonde-haired girl was out of sight, you forwarded your attention to the array of snacks and other food items laying across the large kitchen island.
Popping a few grapes into your mouth from the platter of different fruits and cheeses, you glanced around at the coolers placed against the base of the island. Flicking the top to one of the coolers open, you dove your hand into the ice and retrieved a wine cooler. You examined the flavor, mixed berry, and decided that would be good enough.
Pushing the lid on the cooler shut, you stood up straight and took a step back, twisting the cap off of the bottle. You lifted the bottle to your mouth, tasking a swig of the alcoholic beverage as you turned around.
The alcoholic liquid almost sloshed out of your mouth as you partially came into contact with someone. Large hands delicately caught along your waist to stabilize you, along with distancing yourself from said person.
'Seriously? Not this shit again.' You couldn't help but mentally scold yourself from the re-enactments of yesterday's events.
Your eyes flicked upwards, staring intently through your false lashes at the man who was currently holding onto you.
Familiar intense light brown eyes bored into you, taking in your appearance, "we seriously need to stop running into each other like this, coffee girl."
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libsterslobsters · 3 years
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The Wanton Song
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Summary: How do you broach the topic of sex with the 90-something super soldier you've found yourself dating? That's the reader's question. Luckily, she and Bucky are no strangers to awkward conversations...
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x fem!enhanced! Reader
(Reader can see bits and pieces of the future in visions and understands all languages)
Warnings: SMUT, tiny bit of angst, lotsa fluff, maybe some past dub!con if you squint
Author's note: Wow... here I am posting smut on the internet. Never thought that would happen. Tmi, but I'm married, so I have a good amount of sex 🙀 and I actually had a great first time, but some people don't, and that's what I tried to represent. That, and CONSENT!!!! Consent is sexy, y'all. Safe, sane and consensual all day every day.
As always, the reader's name isn't stated so that you can read as a self insert, but I've written so much at this point that I refer to the Reader as Violet in my own mind.
*************************************************
 Life has been going swimmingly these past few months. Better than ever before in fact, or at the very least, better than in a long time. She’s still a fugitive, living life looking over her shoulder, but now she has a steady job, a steady paycheck, and oh yeah, a steady boyfriend. Those three things have never aligned for her before (especially the last one). Overall, she’s pretty happy. But, because she’s her, there’s still a question niggling at the back of her mind.
 The transition from “you’re my only friend” to “we’re together now” went smoothly, helped in part by the fact that Barnes had been at that particular juncture the whole time. From the outside looking in, the only major changes have been the addition of those three simple but very key words and an upping the anti in the cuddles department.
 Speaking of cuddles, that’s a very mild term for what’s going on these days. It starts out innocent enough. The usual location is on the couch at one or the other’s apartment. There hadn’t been much distance between them since that first time where they ended up talking more than watching the movie playing from her laptop, but now, the space is nonexistent. As a general rule, within the first ten minutes, her legs somehow end up over his lap or in some way intertwined with is. The intention is always to pay attention to what’s on the screen but, well, when you’re that close, it would be rude not to snuggle up. And, when the other person looks that damn kissable, it would truly be insulting not to take the plunge.
 Now, considering the angle, one of them has to lean in. Otherwise, it would be awkward. That generally determines who, somewhere from two to ten minutes later, is on top of who. Of course hands wander, and even though it’s understood that the word “no” can be employed at any time and immediately obeyed (not to mention the copious amounts of “Is this okay”’s being asked), she can’t remember a time either of them have said it.
 If she had to attach a term to what comes next, it would be ‘dry humping.’ And then… nothing. It always ends far too soon, leaving her flustered and with her heart racing. At first she thought it was because he simply didn’t want her, but, well, there’s certain physical signs that point to that not being the problem. Her next guess was that he’s simply being respectful. Well, as sweet as that is, she’s ready to get on with it. She’s only human after all, and as such, has needs. Sure, she could take care of them herself, but if she had to guess, he’s experiencing those needs too, and from what she’s heard, it’s more fun to take care of it together.
 The only issue: how the hell do you bring something like this up, especially when the person you’re bringing it up with grew up in a much more repressed era than you did? She’s been debating it for the past week, and despite having multiple visions, none of them have given her that key insight into what to do.
 Finally, she decides to just say it. They’ve made a point to be honest with each other, and it’s probably best to get it out of the way. They’re adults, after all. They can have this discussion. She’s going to come straight out with it.
 “Hey, can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal, and maybe a little uncomfortable.”
 “Sure, Doll.” The response is immediate. “Fire away.”
 Glancing up to make sure they’re not at a pivotal scene in tonight’s movie (they have a system; at his place, watch something he grew up with, at hers, something made literally anytime after 1945), she spits out the whole sentence in one breathless go. “Are we ever going to have sex?”
 It feels like a branding iron where his arm is still wrapped around her shoulder. Still, it’s comforting. At least he’s not moving away.
 “I gotta admit, that’s not the question I was expecting. What brought this on?”
 She shrugs, carefully keeping her eyes trained on the wall behind his head instead of on him.
 “Nothing in particular. Just…” is there a delicate way to put this? “...I think things are going well between us, and sometimes when we’re together… I’ve noticed that there’s a physical response.” She’s really hoping that’ll suffice, because she can’t think of a good way to say “I can feel that you’re hard when you’re on top of me”.
 “Oh.”
 Apparently, her meaning is indeed clear enough, because he removes his arm from her shoulders. She’s about to apologize (all the while mentally berating herself) when his hand closes over hers.
 “I’m sorry about that, Doll. I’ll try to stay calmer.” Wait, that’s not- “It’s just an issue guys have. Don’t think it means you have to do anything that you don’t want to, because I would never-”
 “I know you wouldn’t.” Without thinking, she cuts him off. “And I want to.” It feels like she’s sitting in a sauna, she’s so flustered from this conversation. “But only if you do, and I understand if you didn’t-”
 “No.” It’s abrupt, cutting her off. A definite answer that leaves no room for questioning. “No, I do. I just-” He clears his throat. “-I didn’t want to bring it up, in case we weren’t on the same page. “ This seems to be a recurring theme, so far. “And it’s not a must. If you change your mind-”
 It’s pure instinct. There’s no thought involved as she closes the gap between them, this time with her on top, and presses  her lips against his. The response is immediate and enthusiastic. She considers just going on, not putting a stop to things, but realization hits that, although overall she’s ready for this to happen, she’s not ready for it to happen tonight. There’s still things she needs to take care of. Most importantly, protection.
 So, gasping for breath, she pulls away. “I’m calling for a rain check, but if after that, you still think I’ll change my mind-” she pushes back her hair and forces herself to take a deep breath. “-then you may just be beyond help, Barnes.” If the chuckle is anything to judge from, she’s made her point.
_________________________________________________________________________________
 Wow. Bucky thinks to himself as he exits out of the browser tab on his phone. That’s enough internet for one day. Too much, actually. He knows that it’s the information superhighway, but good god, no one needs THAT much information. He really needs to be more specific with what he googles… or less… or just not at all.
 He’d never admit it (and really, who the hell is gonna ask him anyway), but he spent the last hour looking up how to have sex. He’s engaged in the act before, yeah, but it was seventy years ago. Plus, it used to be this huge taboo thing that you suspected was going on behind closed doors, but no one (not even the married couples) owned up to it. If you were ever found out, there were severe consequences. As a man, he didn’t have to worry as much, but if whoever the woman was had her dirty laundry aired… oh boy. She’d be a pariah, a “scarlet woman”, unfit for marriage or to even give the time of day. That led to limited encounters, and, well, it just seemed smart to brush up on what information is out there. As it turns out, people have written a lot about the fine art of love making. Unfortunately for him, most of it is absolute garbage. Some of the positions he just read about (because at that point, the article was like a train wreck; he badly wanted to look away, but he couldn’t) don’t even sound possible, much less pleasurable. He’s all for society being freer, but good grief!
 He’s halfway through a bottle of straight vodka (it won’t have any effect, but he’s hoping maybe the alcohol will travel to his brain and sanitize his eyeballs from most of the shit he just read) when his phone rings. Great. He’s always happy to talk to her, but right now… wow. It’s gonna take him some time to recover, so he hopes she doesn’t need him to say much.
 “Hey, Doll.”
 “I am so fucking pissed off right now.” That sounds promising.
 “At what?”
 “The city of Bucharest, my apartment, the landlord, whoever the fuck did the plumbing in this building! God!” She’s clearly out of breath, so it takes a minute before she can speak again. “I’m sorry, Buck. It’s just that I came home from work, and one of my neighbors told me the entire sixth floor is under a good inch, inch and a half of water.” Wait-
 “How-”
 “I don’t know. Busted pipe. It’s leaked down onto the fifth floor, so I’ve got about fifty other pissed off people for company.”
 “Jesus.” 
 She chuckles harshly. “Yeah, we could use him right about now to perform a miracle. This is a shit show, and I haven’t even told you the best part.”
 “So the spontaneous flood wasn’t the highlight of your day?”
 “I fucking wish! So, naturally, I tried to call the landlord, along with basically everyone else. Get this: since it’s after five o’clock on a Friday, he’s not gonna do anything. Told us collectively to suck it up! And of course, when there’s a leak, they have to cut the power…” He’s starting to see a pattern here.
 She sighs. “I really needed to get that off my chest. How are you?” Still slightly weirded out by the information overload, but feeling a little more steady now that he’s got a good catastrophe to concentrate on. However, that’s probably not the best answer to go with.
 “Better than you are.”
 “What, the sky isn’t falling where you are?” He chuckles.
 “No, it’s right where it’s supposed to be.”  Which reminds him… “But since it seems like you’re short a functional home, why don’t you just stay here until they sort things out?” He’s got a couch that, while it doesn’t have anything on an actual bed, he can manage to sleep on for the next few nights. Or maybe they can share his bed. He shakes his head. That thought needs to be put to the side, even if it’s meant in the most innocent way possible. Of course, in case she decides to cash in that rain check…
 “Yes. I mean, that would be great, if you’re sure.”
 “I’m sure.” Actually, he can’t think of a better way to spend the weekend. The plan was to meet up either Saturday or Sunday, possibly both, so this isn’t that far out of the ordinary.
 “Okay, but just a warning: They’re not letting us go up to our floor in case there’s been electrical damage as well-” That’s smart. If the pipes are in that bad of condition, who knows what the wiring looks like. “-so all I have is my purse, backpack, and what I wore to work. No toothbrush or pajamas, or anything like that.”
 “That’s alright. All you have to bring is yourself.” He’ll have to look, but he’s pretty sure he has something in his closet that’ll work okay for her until she gets the all clear to go into her apartment. Plus, there’s a laundry mat just around the corner, not to mention a pharmacy.
 “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” 
 “Not a problem.” He glances at his bedside clock. Five thirty-four. It takes roughly half an hour to get across the city by bus, so… “I’ll see you around six fifteen?”
 “See you then.”
 As soon as the line goes dead, he springs into action. First thing’s first: make sure there’s no dirty clothes, old dishes, or trash laying around. That takes all of five minutes. He should probably check that he does indeed have something she can wear so they won’t have to fumble around later. Tshirts are pretty universal and… yes, he has a few pajama bottoms that have a drawstring waist. How much time does he have left? The phone screen lights up, giving him his answer. Twenty-seven minutes. More than enough time to run around the corner and pick up a few things.
 His intention is to buy the basics: spare toothbrush, deodorant, hairbrush, maybe a different shampoo than his three-in-one body wash (it’s convenient for him, but she might prefer something designated for hair specifically). But, well, there’s quite a few aisles, and he gets sucked in. Does he need to buy razors, or is that rude, like he thinks she’s hairy? What about aspirin? How often do most people get headaches? He honestly can’t remember. 
 By the time he realizes that he really needs to get a move on, his basket is full and he has no idea what aisle he’s on. Desperately, he looks around, and his eyes land on… huh. So they just have them out in the open these days. Last time he was in the market for that, he had to beg a married friend to make the purchase for him. He briefly wonders if he’ll need to produce proof of marriage or something similar, but pushes the thought to the side. It’s the 2000s. He can probably just go up to the register and pay, and no one will give him a second look. But there’s just one problem: which brand? He should google… suddenly remembering his adventure from earlier today, he decides to just go with his gut and pick one. There. Now, he needs to pay and get the fuck out of here because there’s only ten minutes left, and he’d rather not have these out in the open, in case she thinks that’s the reason he’s asked her to stay over. If it happens, great. If not… well, he’s made it for the past seventy years. What’s a few more?
___________________________________________________________________________________
 She was still pretty shaken up when she arrived at his apartment, carrying her backpack and purse, slightly damp from the drizzle of rain now covering the city. But immediately receiving a long hug, being instructed to make herself at home, and hearing the offer to take a shower so she could warm up did a lot to restore her good mood.
 It was one of the sweetest thing she’s ever experienced in a lifetime where most people have showed her their worst, going into that bathroom and finding a new toothbrush, stick of deodorant, nail clippers, hairbrush, and even shampoo. That and Barnes bashfully informing her that, “I’ll stay in the living room until you’re done. Take your time.” She almost suggested that he just join her in an attempt to broach the subject they left off on two nights ago, but thought better of it. She’s just started to strip when a knock comes from the other side of the wall.
 “Sorry. I just remembered that I forgot to give you a change of clothes. Can I leave them outside the door?” A smile forms on her face.  
 “Sure. Go ahead.” No one’s given this much thought to her comfort or boundaries before. Yet another reason she knows this is the right decision.
 She doesn’t stay in the shower for long, just enough time to wash and stop shivering. After toweling off and brushing out her hair, she cracks open the door. Sure enough, a worn but clean tshirt and pair of pajama bottoms are waiting for her. The familiar scent of the laundry detergent he uses envelopes her as she dresses and, at long last, leaves the safety of the bathroom.
 True to his word, he’s still sitting on the couch, thumbing through a book she gave him some months back (he’s missed so many feats of literature that have made their way into pop culture; today’s choice is The Hobbit because, while it was out before everything happened to him, he’s never read it) when she emerges. Just in case he’s so absorbed that he hasn’t heard her, she repeats his gesture from earlier and knocks softly on the wall.
 “Hey. I’m out. You can have your apartment back.”
 “Hey.” That smile always makes her feel slightly unsteady on her feet. “Find everything okay?”
 “I did.” She settles into the place next to him. “Thank you, by the way. You didn’t have to go out and get supplies.”
 “I know.” He nods, hand closing around hers. “But I wanted to make sure you had whatever you needed.”
 They chat for a while about their days, discuss what they should do with the weekend ahead, even throw out ideas for dinner. The entire time, she’s trying to figure out the best way to bring up that she’d really like to finish what they started the other night. However, by the time he’s left to grab some sort of takeout, she’s still no closer to an answer.
 Fortunately, their dates usually follow a pattern. Food, a movie, and then the not-so-innocent cuddles. This time, he’s on top of her when she feels the tell-tale sign that he’s as fired up as she is, so she suggests,
 “Do want to maybe move to somewhere more comfortable?” His already dilated pupils grow even larger, and he nods.
 “Yeah. That sounds like a plan.” She waits for him to roll off of her and head towards the bedroom before she grabs her purse and, digging around inside, grabs one of the foil packages she bought after their last date.
 It’s only once she closes the door behind her, shutting them into an enclosed space with a bed (not to mention it’s pretty damn clear what both of their intentions are), that nerves get the better of her.  He takes a step towards her, and she leans up to kiss him, but he ducks his head out of the way.
 “You’re shaking.” His hand ghosts over her arm, making it obvious that, by comparison, she’s practically vibrating on the spot.
 “Sorry.” She chuckles nervously. “It’ll pass.”
 “It’s alright.” As he says it, he meets her eyes. “We can stop. Nothing has to happen.”
 “I know.” She nods, swallowing hard. “But I want it to.” Their lips briefly meet before he pulls away again.
 “Let me ask you, just before we get started, is this-” He stops short, eyes darting from her face to the wall and back again. “...have you… before?” Oh. “Not that it matters, not to me, I just wanted to know so that-”
 “I have.” She nods, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. “Once. I was eighteen, and-” It was awful. She’d been seeing the guy for a few months and he kept whining about her not putting out, so she decided to get it over with. He went in dry without any warning, and when she asked him to stop, give her a second to adjust, he told her he couldn’t. She was bleeding and in pain for days afterwards, and to top it off, when her period was late, she thought that, even though he’d pulled out, she was pregnant. That turned out not to be the case, but it, along with the fact that she usually doesn’t stay in one place for very long, has put a damper on her ever wanting to do that again. Except for now. “-it wasn’t a great experience.”
 “I’m sorry.” On instinct, she searches for the judgment in his face, the disgust. It’s nowhere to be found, only genuine sympathy. “I’ll do my best to make sure this time is better. That is, if you’re still up to it.”
 “I am.” Not waiting for a reply, she wraps her arms around him and starts trailing kisses up his neck towards his ear. “I am. I trust you.” She hears his breath catch, but before she can comment, he’s hoisted her up and is carrying her in the direction of the bed.
 As he sets her down, she pulls him on top of her, letting her hands wander over his sides, up his back. After a few moments, she feels his fingers move from her hips to toy with the hem of her… his.. shirt.
 “Is this okay? Can I take this off?” She starts to nod, but remembers just in time that he’s so close, they’d butt heads.
 “Please.” She expected to feel exposed once she was at least partially undressed, but instead she feels… adored. His eyes are roaming over her newly exposed skin, though his hands have respectfully returned to her waist. In a moment of confidence, she reaches behind her and unhooks her bra. There. Now she’s completely shirtless.
 “You’re so beautiful.” The flush from her cheeks is spreading down her neck, but she still smiles.
 “Care to make things even?” It’s brief, but she catches the look of hesitation.
 “Sure.” Before she can offer to do it, he shrugs his shirt over his head, revealing to her, for the first time, the entirity of his metal arm. She must look for a moment too long, because with a shrug, he informs her, “I can put my shirt back on. No big deal. I know there’s some scarring…” That’s not going to fly. She needs to reassure him, make him feel as desired as he’s made her feel.
 “Or if you want to stop-” She stands and, after briefly making eye contact, places a kiss on the most prominent scar.
 “Don’t you dare think that way for a second.” They’re flush against each other, chest to bare chest. “Not for one.” Slowly, she slides her hands from his shoulders down to his waist, hesitating just over the button. “Is this okay?” Another shakey breath.
 “Yes.”
 Going forward, it’s much less awkward. The rest of their clothing is shed, and soon they’re back to their previous position; on the bed, with him on top of her. She feels his fingertips brush the inside of her thigh and gasps.
 “May I touch you?” She nods.
 “You’d better.”
 It’s gentle, more of him feeling her out than anything else. Still, she can’t help but think this is infinitely better already than last time around. Suddenly, he pulls his hand away, and it takes all her effort not to whine at the loss of contact. Before she can ask if something’s wrong, does he want to stop, he’s flat on his stomach, head between her legs.
 “Tell me if you need me to stop.”
 “What-” Her breath catches as it becomes infinitely clear what he’s doing.
 Again, she’s expecting pain when, after several minutes he eases a finger into her, but at this point, she’s so wet that there’s absolutely no difficulty.
 “Are you okay?” She nods.
 “Don’t stop.”
 The process is agonizingly slow, he’s so intent on his task. When, finally, he pulls away, she’s so close that she can almost taste it.
 “Do you still want to-”
 “If you don’t stop asking me that, I’m gonna slap you.” It’s a joke, and she thinks he knows it, but just to be sure, she siezes his hand (the metal one, which is usually cold but has now warmed from being held close against her body. “I’m ready, so long as you want this too.”
 “I do. You wouldn’t believe how much.” Yeah, she thinks she would. “Just give me a second.” Perfect timing. He rolls off of her, which gives her the opening she needs to grab the packet she managed to hide under the pillow while he was… otherwise distracted. When he returns from digging inside the wardrobe, she holds it up, only to realize-
 “Oh.” He’s got one as well. “Seems like we both came prepared.”
 He chuckles. “Just in case, although that wasn’t why I asked you to stay.”
 “I know.” She nods and pats the space next to her. “Not why I said yes either, although I can’t say I’m disappointed.”
 He returns to the bed and drops his packet onto the nightstand. “Save this one for later?”
 “Definitely.”
 There is a bit of discomfort once he starts to push inside her, but it’s not painful. Just… overwhelming. Slightly embarassed she asks,
 “Can you wait a second? Please?”
 “Of course. Are you alright?” She shifts her hips slightly, making them both groan.
 “Fine. You can move now.”
 She may have only done this once before, and she has no idea what his experience consists of, but as she hits her peak mere seconds before he does, gently coaxed over the edge, she can’t help but think some things are better the second time around.
 “I love you.” It’s whispered against her neck as, once she cleans up and returns to bed, she settles herself against him.
 “I love you too.”
___________________________________________________________________________________
 The first thing he thinks when he realizes that he’s not alone in bed is that HYDRA’s found him. He’s being activated. His eyes shoot open although apart from that he doesn’t move a muscle, and that’s when he recognizes the person next to him. It’s her. She’s here.
 The events of last night come back to him all at once, and he feels a smile forming on his face. It’s been a while, and in any case, it would be wrong to run a comparison, but what they shared, the pure intimacy of it both physically and mentally was incredible. Maybe he should feel a sense of shame. That’s what he was taught growing up. But instead he feels… peaceful.
 That is, until her eyelids flutter and she rolls over, shifting the covers so that he gets a good view of her still naked body, and with it, the bruises on her thighs and hips. Bruises unmistakably left by his fingers. Dammit. He’s done the last thing he ever wanted to do: he’s hurt her.
 “Good morning, sleepy head.” She yawns, the teasing words muffled. “It seems like we overslept.”
 His mouth goes dry, and all he can manage to choke out is a simple, “Yeah.”
 She frowns, sitting up slightly, and lets out a small groan. “You alright there, Bucky? You look a little off.” The late morning light only serves to highlight more marks he’s left, this time on her shoulders, neck, and breasts. Stubble burn. Hickeys. Why the hell was he so rough? At the time, he thought he was being gentle, but obviously he’s just as much of a monster as Bucky Barnes as he is once the Winter Soldier takes over.
 She’s still staring at him, brow furrowing in concern.
 “Fine.” He clears his throat and begins to sit up. “Stay here. I’ll make you a cup of tea, maybe some oatmeal.”
 “Alright. Don’t be gone too long.”
 Her words follow him out of the room, and into the kitchen. Fuck. He should’ve known better. 
Maybe once upon a time, he was a decent man, one who could be with a woman like  her and not do her a disservice. But now, it’s clear that he falls short in every way. In an act that was supposed to be pure pleasure, a way of communicating how much they mean to each other, he’s hurt her.
 “I trust you.” The words from last night ring in his ears. He shouldn’t have let her. It’s pretty damn obvious that, even at the best of times, he can’t be trusted.
 “Tell me what’s going on.” Even with his enhanced senses, he still jumps in surprise as the unexpected words come from behind him. He turns around slowly, not wanting to startle her. She’s standing there, clad in only one of his shirts, arms crossed over her chest (now bearing his marks), staring him down.
 “Nothing.” He shakes his head.
 “Bullshit. I had a vision of you staring off into space, and here you are, jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” At another time, her choice in phrases would make him chuckle, but right now, he can’t muster it.
 “Last night-” Her eyes widen, but she stays silent. “I hurt you.”
 “No, you didn’t. Not at all.”
 “I did.”
 She frowns. “Bucky, I think I’d know if you’d hurt me, and I’m telling you, I’m fine.”
 “Doll, look at yourself!” He reaches out to take her arm, but immediately freezes. “Go in the bathroom and take off your shirt. Take a good look in the mirror and then tell me I didn’t hurt you.”
 “Alright.” Her jaw clenches, and she marches off in the direction of the bathroom. A deep sickness gnaws at the pit of his stomach and, completely worn out, he sinks into a kitchen chair.
 Not thirty seconds pass before she walks back into the room, this time completely undressed.
 “Tell me you’re not talking about a few love bites.”
 “And bruises! You may not have noticed, but they’re in the exact shape of my fingertips.”
 “Oh my god!” She shakes her head. “It’s a sex injury. A minor one at that! If you didn’t heal so damn fast, you’d probably have nail marks all over your back!”
 “That’s not the same thing.”
 “How is it not the same thing?”
 “I’m a monster! And you’re not.”
 She takes a determined step towards him, and he leans as far back as the chair will allow.
 “Bucky, you are not a monster, and I am not afraid of you.”
 “Then you’re stupid.” He hates himself for his sharp words, but she needs to take this seriously. Underestimating how dark, how evil he can be, is a mistake. A deadly one.
 “Hey!”
 “Don’t you get it?” Without any input from his brain, he stands. “They could find me, and with a few words, I could stare you dead in the eyes as I murdered you! If you were my mission, I wouldn’t even hesitate, and you’d be dead before your body hit the floor!” Her mouth falls open, but she immediately closes it again. “This isn’t something that can be worked through with some patience and a positive attitude! I could kill you!”
 “So could a million other things!” Her voice rises in volume, and before he can contain it-
 “But they’re not in the bed sleeping next to you!” He’s shouting at her. God. Everyone is right. He’s beyond saving.
 A few tense seconds pass before she looks up at him, a steely look in her eyes.
 “Look, I get it. I know what you could do to me.” As she speaks, she pulls out a chair and sits. “But I could also get run over when I cross the road, or the room could fill with carbon monoxide while I sleep. I could have an aneurysm and drop before anyone knows what’s happening.”
 He opens his mouth to tell her the likelihood of any of those things happening is far lower than the chance that he’ll hurt her, this time in a major way, but she holds up a hand, silencing him.
 “I’m gonna be cautious, but I’m also not going to live my life in fear that the ceiling is going to collapse or nuclear war is going to strike, or that someone is gonna turn up and say the magic words that make you go cuckoo for cocoa puffs-” What? “-and I just realized you’re too old for that reference.”
 “That’s another thing-” He’s about to remind her exactly how big their age gap is, that although he’s physically close to her age, chronologically, he’s closer to the age of her great grandfather, but she lets out a sudden groan of frustration, and that makes him bite his tongue.
 “Oh, fuck off, Barnes! If you’re about to start in on how you’re too old for me, then I’m not gonna wait for you to go full Winter Soldier before I kick your ass!” Out of all things, that’s what snaps him out of it, makes him feel like maybe, just maybe, there’s still a chance they can make the best of things.
 Smirking, he asks her,
 “You think you could kick my ass? Really?” It must be the breaking point for her too, because she snickers.
 “Of course. It’s the little bitches you have to watch out for.”  That’s it, he’s laughing, nearly doubled over, and from the looks of things, she’s in much the same state.
 “You’re something else, you know that?” He asks between stilted breaths.
 “I think we both fit in that category, Pal.” Her smile fades, but only slightly. “Bucky, if you really want me to go, if that’s what’ll give you peace, then I’ll do it, but I meant what I said. I trust you.” Never. He’ll never want her to go, he’s sure of it. Well then, that only leaves one option.
 “I know what we’re doing today.” It’s an abrupt segue, but it’s the only thing he could come up with on short notice.
 “And what’s that?”  The microwave dings, reminding him that he needs to stir the oatmeal, and he pushes past her.
 “Sit down and have your tea. You’re going to need all your energy if I’m gonna show you how to use a gun.” If she’s staying, then at least he can teach her how to defend herself beyond the basics she already knows.
 “So I guess this means you’re keeping me around for a little while longer?” It’s spoken like a joke, but he turns to her, meeting her eyes to drive the point home.
 “Yeah, Doll. As long as you want me."
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