#do you think when things got too much he wished he'd have a normal life instead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princessfbi · 9 days

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bucktommy + “come here”

Bucktommy

"Come here."

No matter how many times Tommy did it, Buck didn't think he'd ever get used to the slight thrill that rushed through him when Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin and lifted his head.

He just wished it was under different circumstances. The wide worry in the cobalt blue that Buck could've sworn were one eyelash bat away from sweeping him up like a hurricane turned icy and hard in an instant. Fury rippled through Tommy's expression as his movements turned stilted and uncompromising, shifting Buck's chin further up and to the side so he could get a better view of the bruises. The same bruises he'd been hoping to put off from showing his boyfriend for as long as possible.

But after three months of going slow before becoming official, there wasn't much Buck could hide from his boyfriend these days.

It was usually something he loved. Tommy made him feel seen in a way he didn't know he wanted to be seen until one night in his kitchen during quiet confessions and a similar instance of Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin.

Tommy wasn't kissing him then though. In fact, besides the firm weight of his fingers, he looked almost... devastated. Resigned.

"He did this to you?" It was a question even if Tommy didn't say it like it was. Buck pulled away from the prop of Tommy's fingers and ducked his chin down as he cut his eyes to the floor.

"It's not a big deal." He tried to step back so the lie wouldn't land on Tommy and stain him too. But Tommy's hands, his big beautiful hands, curled over his waist and pulled him back to him.

"Evan!" Tommy's eyes flashed with something Buck couldn't quite catch but that was probably because he was still too busy being starstruck by the way Tommy said his name.

He loved how Tommy said his name. Like it mattered. Like it was important. The only other people who ever managed to handle the weight of his name without the normal strain had been Maddie and Eddie and they had witnessed to all the ways life had added more pressure to the load.

Tommy said his name like it was effortless.

Still, Tommy sounded upset and that was the last thing he wanted to do so he shook his head and met his gaze again.

"It's really nothing. I should've been watching where the hose line was."

Tommy's brow arched and Buck could see he didn't believe him. "The hose line? Seriously?"

Buck leaned into Tommy's hold and settled his hands on his chest, rubbing up and down so Tommy knew that Buck was fine. Really. He was fine.

"I clipped my face on an open compartment door. Hen checked me out. Nothing's broken. I promise that I'm fine. It's just a little bruise. It's nothing I can't handle."

Anger flared in Tommy's expression again as his jaw ticked. "You shouldn't have to."

And no, he shouldn't. Buck should have been coming home from a shift where his muscles were sore but his heart and stomach were full from another shift in the greatest job he'd ever had where Bobby was his captain and they had family dinners that didn't feel like hostage situations.

But everything would get fixed. Bobby would figure how to get back to his team and they would be waiting for him. He had to believe that.

Buck thought about pretending like he didn't see exactly what had taken root in Tommy's worry. But Tommy wasn't the only one who could see things other's couldn't.

"Baby," Buck said as he cupped his cheek. "You got out."

"He's doing this to you because of me." Tommy bit out.

"He's doing this because we aren't scared of him." Buck corrected. "None of us are."

They'd all been practically daring Gerrard to suspend them. Hen had been the first to point out how it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of them now that the chief had made a media frenzy of their crew. Gerrard may have been in charge but they didn't bend like they used to under the sharp oppression of his command. They clashed into a bruising, straining stalemate that didn't have an end date anytime soon.

But the team would hold. It's what Bobby would've wanted.

That didn't mean Gerrard didn't make their life a living hell.

Tommy frowned as he let out a long breath from his nose, his hands coming up to circle Buck's wrists so he could kiss the bolt of his palms.

"Ice," Tommy said decisively. "You need ice so I can kiss you properly."

Buck grinned despite the pain that pulsed along his cheek where he was sure the purpling bruise looked worse than it was.

Gerrard could say or do whatever he wanted to Buck. It wouldn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, Buck had Tommy to come home to and could kiss wherever he wanted. And Buck would do whatever it took to keep Tommy away from the dark cloud that was his former boss. The same boss who made him so afraid to be seen that he'd hid for years.

Buck would take a million bruises to the face before he ever let that happen.

#evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy #the ally and the beast #my fic writing #royal decree #buddie-buddie #prompt game

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colliope · 5 months

Text

How date-able are twst boys? ♡

inspired by @sunsguilt

Features all chars, and gets pretty suggestive btw. Otherwise mostly crack +fluff

a/n: my first writing! I hope u enjoy :) if not then go die i guess

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋ ♡Heartslabyul ♡

Riddle Rosehearts - I don't ljke him. If we're talking pre-overblot he'd banish you to that headlock thing with his unique magic if you ever tried to ask him out or flirt with him. Post-overblot hed be really shy in getting into a relationship but wants to be cared for and protected. But he's not standing up for u in front of his mom tho you'll have to deal with her urself

6/10 he’s a sweet boy, just too bossy and not assertive enough to his mom. Divorceablity is quite high with this one.

Cater Diamonds - low-key relatable to me. BUT. His slang gets annoying after a while. His constant posting without peoples permission is weird too. Picture this. He's meeting your family for the first time, and you sit to have dinner. Cater takes a pic of you guys and posts it with the caption "With bae their fam, I'm a bit nervous guys wish me luck!🥺"#girldad #boymom #saveme Your family assumed it's his humor. WRONG. It's his way of coping with his uncomfortability. When it's silent during dinner he says" OH EM GEE GIRLYPOPS!!!, this food is so SLAY💅!! Tysm bestiessss" Your family gives him the nastiest side eye. He never speaks again.

7/10 he seems to be a pretty sweet and understanding person, just needs better ways to express himself . Also he calls your mother queenie.

Trey Clover - he’s an interesting guy. You'll typically see him as an npc, but he's much more than that. Have you seen his *tips fedora * "m'lady" stare?? Yeah there's definitely something strange going on there. He's a pretty family oriented guy tho, and he loves to bake for his s/o and to provide comfort and care.

8/10 he's probably one of the more normal ones that I would actually date. Or be friends with. Just keep one eye open when your sleeping with ur with him tho

Ace Trappola- I don't understand how someone could even like him. He's the kinda kid to push you off the swing during recess and when you tell the teacher he'll go like "NUH UH!! THEY HIT ME FIRST!!" . Plus he's canonically not a good partner lmaoooo

3/10 he’s not even a middle schooler. Too pebble brained. Don't date a gremlin like him. maybe if he finds someone like him he might maintain a steady relationship.

Deuce Spades- no thoughts head empty. He needs a little direction in life but he's got a goal in mind. He's a lil stupid but he's getting there. He's such so sweet and silly you have to love him. But he needs to mature a bit before entering a long term relationship

6/10 not my type, I would go for his mom instead. Plus his dad is literally dr.eggman, that explains everything. but yeah he's got what It takes, be kind to him. He's fragile. Like an egg.

ᓚᘏᗢ Savannaclaw ᓚᘏᗢ

Leona Kingscholar - girl he is 21 years old he should be in the CLUB!!!!! But no. He's sitting alone eating Kentucky fried chicken alone on a Friday night. If he really wanted someone, he could go for it, but he seriously can't be bothered. If you do manage to get him attached to you it'll take him a while to fully love you as much as you love him, as well as put in the same amount of effort .

7/10- I don't think he genuinely needs a partner. He's got his own issues to sort out. But when he falls, he falls hard. I wonder how hard his abs are.

Ruggie Bucchi - Rugbartholomew !!!! The scrunkly. The scrimp. It'll be so fun horsing around with this guy. Being his s/o is like being his partner in crime. It'll be fun, and you guys support each other . He really cares abt his loved ones and always tries to bring something to the table for them, literally and metaphorically. Midnight runs to seven eleven. He's working 10 jobs at a time. He's EMPLOYED. He's a boyemployee. He just needs his girlboss to complete him.

5/10 he's a bit scummy tbh. It'll take him a while to fully trust someone. He’d do some sleazy things for money. It also gives you the ick when he smells donuts and starts floating towards them.

Jack Howl- he's surprisingly normal. He's got a set sleep schedule , he's healthy, he has set routines, and healthy coping mechanisms. But that's the thing. as much as he is such a caring and gentle lover, these routines take up most of his life and time. He would be waking you up at ungodly hours for a morning jog only for you to pass out midway to Mount Kilimanjaro. .

7/10 -he dates for marriage, and he’s really serious about his future and starting a family. So he’s such a loyal and protective guy. He's just too much of a gym bro. He prefers pre-workout over partners. Also he unironically likes alpha/werewolf quotes.

𓆝𓆟𓆜 Octivinelle 𓆝𓆟𓆜

Azul Ashengrotto- I love him so much. He's so me guys you don't get it (capitalism) but that aside, HES SO DAMN WEIRD LMAOOOOOO like he thinks he has rizz but he just looks like a Reddit 'nice guy'. Legitimately says m'lady. He gives off the fake dating trope to me. He'd date you to get something out of you but then actually fall hard bc he's touch starved and longs to feel emotionally vulnerable but is afraid of it. So he's an absolute mess in a relationship and needs a lot of reassurance. But yeah he's pretty bitchless

7/10 he's gorgeous, but he sounds like that one pufferfish singing thing. I relate to him a lot so he gets points. Also since his parents are divorced he definitely has a high divorceability. I have a theory in the works that since we don't know who his biological father is, it might just be Mr. Krabbs. Like it's never said he's a full octopus (to my knowledge). SpongeBob and squidward are Floyd and Jade respectively. SpongeBob X twisted wonderland when?

Floyd Leech- he drank battery acid as a baby. Like dude you're in love with a nuclear fission bomb. If you like Floyd, you're just as fucked up as he is. It's okay tho, he's a very physically affectionate guy and may be overly possessive and obsessive but that's just his charm dw abt it. He also does thing like "if you hug me, expect a little nibbling on your earlobe 😝" and he bites off your entire ear.

2/10 his kisses taste like fish and sheet metal, and he licks short peoples heads when no one's looking.

Jade Leech- if you saw him eat mushrooms well no you didn't because if he eated mushrooms then he would have not eating mushroom bc no . His version of love is psychological warfare . He’s a mysterious guy. Let's set a scenario for him. You're sitting in the monstro lounge. You see a tall, dark and handsome man across the bar with a mysterious aura. You catch his gaze and quickly dart your eyes away. But his never stop staring at you. He comes up to you and you guys chat naturally . He buys you a drink, your favorite actually. He knows all the ways to make you swoon. He’s so dreamy. Then he says that he put cyanide in your drink as joke. Then he lets it slip he's been stalking you for days. You find out his a wanted criminal. And end scene. Yeah that's romance with him.

4/10 he's an attentive and observant guy, but sadly that's way before you guys are dating and he's a psych ward escapee.

𓄼𖣠 Scarabia 𖣠𓄹

Kalim Al-Asim - OTTERRRR!!! I love otters. He’s like deuce. But rich. And more innocent(ignorant). He’s so head over heels for his s/o bro. He’d shower them with his love and gifts. He still has a lot to learn in life, but he's willing to give it all to you. You should be honored.

6/10 he's my son. Treat him well. I can’t forgive him for what he did to Jamil tho.

Jamil Viper- AWWHH YEAH BABY!!! He’s so Fine oml. But personal bias aside, he's very much insane. He’s just a closeted insane.pre-overblot he wouldn't even date u bro he would pretend u don't exist but then hate u being around Kalim. Post-overblot he accidentally avoids you because he has no idea how to express or hide his feelings for you. Okay but definitely has w rizz. Azul seethes at the sight him. Like chewing up his fedora and spitting it out type shit. Men wish they were Jamil.

8/10 he's so wifey, he can cook he can clean I will give him a ring if u don't. Minus points for the attempted murder, but still he's pwetty so I forgive him (*^ω^*) . He probably once got hit in the head with a basketball with you looking.

⊹𖥔˖࣪ Pomefiore⊹𖥔˖࣪

Vil Schoenheit - okay this one's hard cus he's literally just my mother. But more fierce diva cunty. I've been sleeping on his character ngl, but now that I think about it he's pretty relatable. Like everyone wishes to be beautiful, in some sort of way. I think in a relationship he'll need some reassurance about his looks, but also about it his partner only wants him for his looks. I don't think he actually has high standards, he would probably want someone pretty normal, but also takes good care of themselves, not just appearance-wise.

8/10 he's pretty good as an s/o, but the fame aspect will make things very difficult. Also expect him to be brutally honest with you or pick apart your appearance. He's just trying make sure u look ur best bro he's caring like that. Would make an excellent rupauls drag race judge.

Rook Hunt - I have sent a nuke to your exact coordinates. Why would u want him bro he’s Fr*nch AND a felon. There's no good aspects of this relationship he has negative rizz and his fucking bob makes him look like SpongeBob took the gay potion from the dark web at 3 am. also, he's already mentally married you and has your wedding dress prepared as well as a loan taken out for your new family home before you even know his name.

0/10 Mr Electric KILL HIM!!! Probably the kinda guy to post a selfie captioned "who want me" and then before epel can reply "the mental hospital " his post gets taken down due to mass reporting and his account gets suspended and he's put on an fbi watchlist.

Epel Felmier- ngl mood bro. It's so annoying being seen as fragile and weak simply for your inherent femininity.I believe in a relationship he'd want someone that tells him what he wants to hear. He'll have some trouble accepting some facts, especially with his anger issues, but he'll learn to sort that out. He's a sweet boy at heart. He just feels he needs to overcompensate due to his appearance.

6/10 I'm not an anger issues kinda guy. It takes resilience to deal with, something i don't have for that. He probs listens to red pill podcasts while on a tractor. He's a 14 year old boy who just discovered Andrew Tate (he's deathly afraid of women)

꒷꒦꒷Ignihyde꒷꒦꒷

Idia Shroud- no. I have no idea how you could have feelings for him if you've never seen him. And definitely not online bc 1. He would never engage in that 2. Theres nothing romantic about the call of duty lobby. Also another guy with negative rizz. But not like in the creepy way like rook but in a loser way. He genuinely believes he is unfit for a relationship and that he is undeserving of love. If somehow he finds someone like that he'd be attached to them until the day he dies.

8/10 I love me a loser boy. He def has trust issues and paranoia but who doesn't in this game. He's rich so he could spoil u with the battle pass for literally any game. Plus ortho ends up becoming your little brother too. It's a win-win. Also don't ask him if the carpet matches the drapes.

Ortho Shroud- would probs hire u to date his brother out of genuine fear the dude would be alone for the rest of his life.

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪Diasomnia𓆩 ♡ 𓆪

Malleus Draconia - his prehistoric charm and awkward demeanor had captivated you, it seems. But yeah he's the kinda guy to say lines like "For the world could be dying and I would have never noticed it because I would have been not paying attention to the world itself, but would be gazing into your eyes watching them shine like the stars". He's soooo down bad. he's so happy to finally have someone to love him. Very very very loyal. But sometimes toes the line of yandere.

9/10 he's so wonderful. All he wants is to love and be loved. But he still thinks of romance in this Victorian ages and gets hard when he sees your ankles or sumn.

Lilia Vanrouge- this Gent a wee bit peculiar innit? He has connections within the furry community that could destroy your life in seconds. He's everything. He’s everywhere. All at once. He genuinely has dabbled in many different things over the years , so he'll never run out of stories to tell. Many 3 am Minecraft dates. Those upside down Spider-Man kisses. He’s more than ready to settle down with someone have kids of his own. Maybe have a girl. Name her draculaura, you know the rest. He probably went to monster high ngl. But he's a much more mature kinda guy. Definitely knows what he wants in a relationship. He's reasonable too. But you guys don't sleep in the same bed he hangs from the ceiling in a sleeping bag.

9/10 he's a bit vertically challenged and sometimes summons ancient demons by accident. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear in forgotten languages.

Silver - he's the female gaze bro. He's gorgeous . He’s legitimately a normal dude. But I don't think he's even been near a woman before. No rizz. Just soldier and eepy. But he definitely wants an s/o who can care for him a lot considering his narcolepsy. It's something that worries him a lot, and needs a person who's full of love to give, not only to him but to his family. But you're always welcome to nap with him underneath a tree in the warm sun.

7/10 he's a bit narrow-minded, only having a few goals set in mind and a strict regimen as a soldier. You have to work around that and his disorder in order to be his s/o. It's a lot dude. Especially when he leans in for a kiss but falls asleep inside and hits his head on the way down and gets brain damage.

Sebek Zigvolt- this gator wouldn't last a day in the Everglades bruh ‼️🚫I actually despise him. I have a picture of him in my room that I chew on when I get angry. Why is he always yelling. Why is he so obsessed with malleus even outside of his job. Actually, he probably leaves you for malleus. no chance with him bruh. But seriously you need to be super determined to get with him if you manage go past his alarm clock-like exterior. he's lonely.

3/10 I would turn him into a purse.his version of dirty talk is going "do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior wakasama-" and then you make him put his clothes back on and leave.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Thank you for reading! ₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎◞ ̑̑

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goldeunoias · 6 months

Text

Let's play a game....

A/N: Genshin Impact Lofi makes me write the best idk

Word Count: ~2k of Jay porn because they give me the best anons and reblogs and comments <33333

Synopsis: Sugar Daddy! Jay x Female! Reader

*********************************************

"If you keep me company after dinner I'll add an extra two grand," he remarked in a sultry voice, placing his black card in the hand of the waiter to pay the bill.

You swallowed thickly and bit down on your lip, calculating the amount you could make just from tonight. It was your first time doing this sort of thing and you were surprised you made it through the dinner without making a complete fool of yourself.

"F-for how long," you stammered out. Jongseong chuckled and took off his suit jacket, rolling up his sleeves as he set his elbows on the table.

"Every hour will make two grand. How about that?" He cooed, staring at you with mischief in his eyes.

"Th....three grand," you countered, twiddling with your thumbs underneath the table. You couldn't believe you were actually doing something like this, getting extra cash by keeping a man with too much money to spare company.

Jongseong laughed and thanked the waiter when they came back with his card, taking a sip of his wine before standing up and beckoning you to do the same.

"As you wish kitten."

Your head kept repeating the pet name he'd called you over and over as he grabbed your hand and gently led you up the elevator of the six-star hotel, Jay's hands moving to your hips once you both were alone in it.

It caught you off guard and a sharp breath left you as Jongseong rested his head in the crook of your neck, your eyes unable to look back into his carob ones.

"What's wrong kitten? No need to be so shy, I'll treat you better than any college low-life ever could," he cooed in your ear, kissing the shell of it and biting it gently. Your hands clamped down onto his forearms for stability and you nodded, your breaths getting caught in your throat as you felt heat rise to the surface of your skin.

When you got to his private floor Jongseong released you and meandered his way to his bedroom he took off his shoes and undid his tie, beckoning you to follow him.

You were silently preparing yourself for a sex dungeon or something as you walked into his bedroom, though when he opened the door it was surprisingly normal. Jongseong could read your mannerisms easily and smiled at them, sitting at the edge of the bed and gesturing for you to stand between his legs.

"I do have some interesting tastes but I wouldn't go as far as to do something like that on your first time with me," he hummed, his hands massaging your thighs tenderly.

"Soo...what are we going to?" you meekly inquired, struggling to hold his gaze for longer than a second.

Jongseong pouted and clucked his tongue in thought.

"Surely you have some kinks you've yet to try out kitten, being so young and all," he drawled, pulling you down onto your knees and holding your face still. He slid his thumb into your mouth and you hesitantly began sucking on it, the callouses against his fingers stimulating your tongue.

"I could breed your pretty princess parts until your cunt is entirely painted white by me and only me..." he began, his eyes darkening.

"I could use pretty pink ribbons to tie you up and edge you in ways I bet your body has never even felt until your face is puffy with tears on how badly you want to come," Jongseong continued, darkly smiling at you when you felt you swallow thickly.

"Or maybe I could make you ride me for hours until your legs are shaking and your cunt has made a mess all over me. Whaddya think kitten?" He inquired, removing his thumb from your mouth.

By now you could feel your nipples erect and pushing against the material of your dress and you'd felt thick droplets of arousal leak onto your underwear, causing you to shift between your legs.

"I-I don't know...I've never done, um, those types of things," you replied timidly, your chest hitching when Jongseong dragged a finger down your jugular to your sternum.

"Mmm, then I guess it's my choice then. Stand up and pull down your underwear and dress for me yeah?" he cooed at you, leaning back on his palms to take in the view as you lowered both.

You tried to do it quickly so he couldn't see how much you soiled yourself just from his words, though Jongseong's eyes were quicker than your movements as he saw the stickiness you'd made on yourself.

"Aw, my kitten made a mess of herself, she even started creaming," Jongseong condescendingly said, his hands reaching between your legs. His fingers felt hot against your clit and you whimpered in reply, your hands going to his shoulders.

Your legs buckled slightly when he collected droplets of arousal on the pad of his finger before sliding the digit into his tongue.

"Taste yourself kitten," he teased, sticking out his tongue for you to take.

You gulped and hesitantly leaned down to kiss him, tensing up when you felt the heat of his tongue slide into your mouth. You tasted arousal mixed with expensive merlot and your hands bunched up his button-up as he deepened it, sliding trickles of saliva into your mouth until your entire mouth was coated was traces of him.

You pushed yourself off of him to come up for air, your body heaving as he sunk his teeth into your neck. You rasped out his name from your lips as the texture of his tongue brushed against the mark he'd made, admiring his handy work.

After all, he didn't like sharing his toys.

"Kitten, you're gonna find that I have some strange tastes," he trailed off, standing up and motioning for you to lay at the head of his plush bed watching intently as he moved about the room.

"What's your favorite color?" He inquired suddenly, opening the drawer at his dresser. You couldn't see what was in it and you told him hesitantly, Jongseong pulling out a silk ribbon of the color you'd said.

"Since we're gonna do some playing, why don't we make your favorite color the safe word yeah?" He cooed, grabbing your wrists with one hand and binding them.

"P-playing?"

"Mhmm," he hummed, unable to hide the dark grin he had.

"I don't uh, like pain by the way so don't do any of that please," you whined out, squirming a bit against the bindings. He shushed you gently and kissed your cheeks, dragging his finger down the bridge of your nose.

"Safeword, remember it and use it at any time. You're in safe hands," he soothed. Once he felt you had calmed down some he went to his nightstand and pulled out a candle with a lighter.

"Don't worry, it's made for this," he answered before you could ask. He let the wax warm up a bit before turning it slightly, a trickle falling and landing on your belly.

The sensation made you arch like back as the heat spread across your belly, like warm shower water hitting your skin.

"Oh? Does kitten like wax play?" Jongseong teased, watching your breathing hitch when warm droplets hit your sternum.

You panted out an "I don't know" as you watched the wax harden on your body, feeling your inner thighs become sticky from keeping them closed.

He hummed and carefully let some trickle near an erect nipple, your body tensing as you felt the teasing sensation gnaw at your skin. Desperate whimpers were the only thing that left you when he did so to the other, Jongseong drinking in the stickiness you'd made on your thighs.

He wanted to tease you more but he was getting impatient with himself, gently grabbing one of your ankles so your core was on full display to him.

"Oh kitten, you're making a mess of yourself. I guess I should plug up your cunt before it gets messier yeah?" Jongseong tutted, reaching into a different compartment and pulling out a vibrator.

Even looking at it made your cheeks burn and you cast your head to the side in embarrassment, Jongseong clucking his tongue and raising your head slightly so you could watch him insert it into you.

"Let's play a game," Jongseong hummed, grabbing a chair and sitting at the foot of the bed so he could see your body in full. He dangled the remote that controlled the vibrator in front of you, leaning back into his chair.

"You have to guess what number I'm thinking of between 1 and 20. But since I'm such a nice person, if you're within 3 digits I'll let you control the settings. If not, I control it. Sound good?"

You shook your head. "Write down each number so you don't cheat, that's the only way I'll agree," you countered. Jongseong raised his brows and nodded, getting a pad and a pen from his drawer.

"Works for me. Let's start the setting at medium as a baseline."

Your jaw immediately went slack as you felt the vibration pressing against the spongy part of your walls and your swollen bud, your legs shaking as you processed the sensation.

"oh kitten likes it already," he cooed, writing down a number. "ok beautiful guess your number."

You racked your brain for an answer, trying to think of a good starting point.

"Ten"

Jongseong chuckled and moved the bar until it was near it's highest, your hands squirming against the silk bindings as you felt a tight knot force it's way into your belly.

"Mmm wrong, it was 18," he corrected, holding up the pad to show you he wasn't lying. "You're off to a bad start kitten, especially since you need to get at three before you even think about cumming," Jongseong taunted, watching you helplessly writhe against the sensation.

"Next round then hurry, please," you croaked out, heat emitting from your body in waves.

"As you wish~," he calmly responded, writing down another number. "Now guess."

"Fifteen" you panted out, your toes curling as you felt the knot get tighter and tighter. "Oh god, Jongseong please," you heaved out.

"Right on the money kitten, the number was fifteen. Because I'm feeling nice I'll count that as two. One more kitten and then you can come so make me proud yeah?" Jongseong soothed, reaching over to massage your ankle as you lay shaking.

You nodded and shut your eyes while Jongseong wrote, your nails digging into your skin to focus on anything but how tight your walls were around the vibrator.

"Guess kitten."

"F-four," you groaned. Jongseong tsked and held it up to you, revealing the number twelve. He promptly turned the vibrator all the way down so you could only feel the slightest sensation, Jongseong setting aside the pen and paper.

He walked over to the side of the bed and held your sweaty face by your cheeks, stroking one softly.

"Aw, the poor kitten didn't get to cum. But don't worry, I have plenty of other games we can play..."

*********************************************

I write more for members whose fans give me the most anons, reblogs, and comments because liking a fic doesn't tell writers anything! So pls tell me <3333

Anywho I hope you enjoyed 😜

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fanfic #enhypen hard thoughts #jay smut #enhypen jay smut #jay scenarios #enhypen jay scenarios #jay hard thoughts #jay hard hours

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judeswhore · 2 years

Text

clueless; steve harrington

summary: steve is absolutely clueless when it comes to your period and in a panic he buys a bunch of products and hopes for the best

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

requested: yes

warnings: none

notes: feedback is appreciated! you can find my masterlist here.

"hey, stevie." your voice was slightly muffled when steve picked up his house phone, a little duller than usual, lacking it's normal perky tone and his lips pulled down into a concerned frown. he leant against the wall, wrapped the telephone wire around and around his finger as he pictured you. you were probably in your room, sprawled across your bed maybe, settled on your stomach with your feet in the air as you waited for him to arrive. you were lucky to have called when you had because another five minutes and he would have already been heading over to your house for your friday movie night.

"hey, trouble, was just about to come over. is everything okay?"

"everything's fine, s'just," you trailed of, voice dropping a little lower and it only made steve's frown a that much deeper. "can you run to the store for me?" he didn't miss the shy note to your voice, the way you dipped into a whisper. he leant against the wall, twirled his keys around his finger.

“was gonna run in anyway, i forgot to buy those chips you like. what do you need?” steve’s feet were still bare, his shoes on the door mat just to the right of where he was standing and he held the receiver between his ear and shoulder while trying to shove them on. he was bouncing a little on one foot but came to an abrupt stop when you started talking again.

“i got my period and i thought i still had tampons in from my last shop but i must have forgot to stock up and well, i don’t wanna go to the store in case i leak all over because that’s so humiliating. i know that you probably don’t wanna, like, why would you wanna go looking around the period aisle but it’s kinda urgent and i just thought-”

“baby, breathe.” steve cut your rambling off with a laugh, shaking his head despite the fact you couldn’t see him. he could picture your somewhat embarrassed expression, your teeth gnawing at your bottom lip the way you only did when you were flustered about something and he wanted to be there to kiss you until you stopped worrying. he wasn’t exactly sure why you sounded so hesitant about asking him to grab tampons, he was more than aware that you got periods, he’d spent a bunch of nights curled up with you, hand pressed to your lower stomach in attempts to dull the pain. and anyway, it’s not like he would say no, he’d do anything you asked of him.

“sorry.” it was a little breathless, slightly muffled and for some reason it tugged a little at his heart. his image of you changed, he knew you were probably curled up in bed right now, heating pad against your stomach and he wished he’d gotten to your house earlier.

“don’t be silly, you just need tampons or..?” he trailed off because he wasn’t exactly sure what else you would want and come to think of it he wasn’t entirely sure about the tampon situation. normally, if you wanted him to grab something and he was a bit clueless he’d have you tell him exactly what it was you needed but he didn’t want you to think he never paid attention to these things. they were tampons, it couldn’t be that difficult.

“yeah, just the tampons.”

“i’ll be about twenty minutes, okay?”

“okay, thank you, i-uh- you know the one’s right?” he didn’t but he’d seen the boxes in your bathroom and surely he’d be able to pick them out when he saw them on the shelves. he didn’t think there were that many different options.

“yeah, i know the ones. i’ll see you soon, i love you.”

“i love you, too.”

steve was wrong. there were an unnecessary amount of different options and now here he was, standing completely lost in the middle of the aisle containing sanitary products, feeling as though he'd been thrown into the ocean without a life jacket. the shelves were stocked with a variety of boxes, each one with different names and labels. they varied in size, regular boxes to jumbo ones, the products inside also varying in size. there were so many different options he wasn’t sure where to start. the only thing he was certain of was that yours came in blue packaging.

he swung the bag of chips back and forth, gaze sweeping the shelves, eyes bouncing from tampons to sanitary towels, mind reeling because why the hell did there need to be so many? surely one kind was good enough? the sizing options he kind of understood to a degree, he based his knowledge of those solely on the fact he could buy different size condoms so he figured it was kind of the same. but why did there have to be different types of products? didn’t they all work the same?

his nose crinkled ever so slightly, brows furrowing when he spotted a box of supposed sanitary towels which apparently had wings. steve had to pick the box up, lifting it to his face with a more than confused expression. “wings? what the fuck are wings?”

“do you need any help?” he startled, almost dropped the box and his cheeks flushed as he hid it behind his back. the girl raised her eyebrows, gaze darting to his hidden hands and almost immediately he wanted to hit his head against a wall because what on earth was he doing? shopping for sanitary products was completely normal, he wasn’t doing anything weird but hiding it made him look like he was. he flashed a sheepish grin, slowly brought the box around into view and shook it.

“nope, m’good, just grabbing some of these,” he was still waving the box and the employee was staring at him like he’d grown a second head. he felt even more embarrassed, turned and stuffed the box back on to the shelf. “not for me, i’m not- i’m just- y’know they’re for my girlfriend.”

“..right, you know what you’re looking for?”

“yeah, totally,” he laughed, nodded his head. “i’m like, a pro at this, i could find them with my eyes closed.” she only nodded and then made her way back down the aisle, leaving steve just as confused and ten times more embarrassed. he huffed out a sigh and turned back to the shelves, glaring at the rows of boxes. “how is this so fucking difficult?”

he supposed he could run outside and use a pay phone to call you, he remembered your number and he had a pocket full of change. but that would mean admitting that he didn’t pay enough attention and that he’d lied about knowing what he was doing. steve was a pleaser and he wanted to turn up to your house with everything you needed and pull you into his arms until you felt better. he spent another few minutes deliberating, debating whether or not to flip a coin and then with a dramatic sigh he grabbed four different blue boxes off the shelves, all with different labels and crossed his fingers as he paid that one of them would be right.

entering your bedroom, steve found you exactly as he thought he would have, curled up beneath your sheets, lips downturned in a pout, one of his old hoodies covering your upper body. his own lips twisted into a sympathetic pout and he dropped the plastic bag to the end of your bed, crouched down at the side so he was level with your face. his hand cupped your cheek, thumb softly stroking over your skin.

“hi, baby.” you blinked at him, grinned a little sleepily when he pressed a kiss to your forehead and he wondered if you’d been falling asleep as you waited for him. “tampons are in the bag, got you an extra bag of those chips you like and some ice cream, thought we could order pizza later instead of cooking?” on movie nights the two of you usually made a meal to eat together, more often than not making a mess of your kitchen, but he had a feeling you weren’t entirely in the mood for that today.

“sounds good.” you sat up, winced a little and steve squeezed your hand, lifting it to his mouth to graze light kisses over your knuckles. he spotted the heating pad laying beside your pillow and tugged it towards him.

“i’ll go sort this out and you can do what you need to do, yeah? i’ll get the movie sorted too.” you nodded but before steve could get up you leant in and kissed him, fingers light on his jaw as you dragged your lips lazily over his. it was a soft kiss, full of simple love and gratitude and it had steve humming, his heart squeezing in his chest. you brushed his hair back off his forehead and then kissed his cheek.

“thank you.”

“you don’t have to thank me.” he returned your kiss, light and fleeting and then pushed himself up, shaking his jacket off and draping it over the back of your chair. “you’ve got me wrapped right around your little finger, y’know.” your eye roll was obvious and it made steve grin, another kiss being dropped to the top of your head before he left you to fix the heating pad up. he watched you grab the plastic bag and his stomach flipped, face twisting into a hidden grimace as he hoped and prayed at least one of the four boxes were useful to you.

you were just coming out of the bathroom as steve came up the stairs, three blue boxes balanced in your hand and a baffled expression winding into your features. you met his gaze, cocked your head to the side and sent him a confused, hesitant smile.

“why’d you get three extra boxes of random tampons?” steve swallowed, glanced between you and the boxes, fiddled with the edge of the heating pad before shrugging.

“they had a deal going.”

“but they’re all different, i can’t use these ones.” again steve just shrugged, thankful at least one of the boxes was right and moved closer to you. he pressed his hand to your hip, nudged you in the direction of your room.

“we can put them in the trash or something, they were free anyway. i told the cashier i didn’t want them, i said it’d be a total waste because i know what kind my girl uses and those weren’t it but he insisted and just like, shoved them at me.” he threw the heating pad on to your bed and took the boxes from you, dropped them down on to your desk. “i’ll throw them out later, but now you gotta get into bed, i missed you.”

#stranger things #stranger things blurb #stranger things fic #stranger things one shot #stranger things imagines #joe keery one shot #joe keery x reader #joe keery fluff #joe keery smut #joe keery #joe keery fic #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic

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ghouljams · 11 months

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How would fae!Ghost react if Darling somehow got away? Like once in a million chance and left. How would Ghost react? What would he do? How would he feel?

Darling likes leaves the town and moves like to the other side of the world because of how frightened Darling is.

This is extra but how would Ghost react if he knew Darling left him for another human friend/almost boyfriend of Darlings? Same thing, Darling left to the other side of the world to be away from Ghost and to see their boyfriend.

Oh! How would he feel if Darling left him for another fae, possibly one as old or more powerful than Ghost? I'm thinking Price maybe! Oh, course, it's up to you for whatever you want to do with this, but the main thing is Darling leaves/escapes Ghost.

Lovely writing and I can't wait to see more! Good wishes <3

You are trying to get this woman killed...

It would be incredibly hard to get away from Ghost in the early days of the relationship but where Love and Ghost are with their relationship now it would be impossible. Love can run but she can't hide. But let's say she did run in the early days, before she was love. If she decided that Ghost was too much for her to handle and she needed an out I think she could find one but it would hurt a lot.

I do not consider this to be a Love story, it is pure x reader because I trust you all are smart enough to run from the fae...

The fae that burns Simon's mark off of you and rips half the tangled tethers from you is not what you would describe as kind. He seems angry, it feels personal. It hurts more than you expected. You think he hopes it kills you when he rips them out. You certainly feel like you're dying.

It happens quickly. The burn and then the tear. He says it has to happen like this so Simon can't get to you in time, you don't know enough to say he's wrong, but the way he looks at you draws you back to thinking this is a personal pain for him.

"I have a friend," he tells you, "She'll get you somewhere safe." But what you think he means is that she'll keep tabs on you. Ensure that you're somewhere this fae can reach you for payment. This is a serious debt you've incurred and if there's anything you've learned about names its that "Price" must be a threat as well as a nickname.

You think of Ghost, of the mask and the insidious magic he worked on you without regard for your feelings. The ways he kept you docile and stupid, never knowing whether it was him making you forget or if you were truly losing it. The thought that it might be your mind failing you still hadn't left.

He was always so kind, but it was an act, specialized to trap you. Whatever he wanted with you, he'd shown himself one too many times, chased you too hard, tapped you until you felt like you were losing yourself to him.

Your skin is quiet as you follow Price through his home, through the strange door that leads to a silent snowy landscape. The warmth of summer is long gone here. Harsh reality has taken its place. It's strange how you can feel disquieted by normal. Ghost's shadow had never truly settled in you. You'd been holding on too tightly to your freedom you suppose.

You have your name back, at least, as you trudge through the snow, following your silent companion. Well, you suppose Price has your name now too, debts and all that. He turns a hard right and the trees start to slowly regain their color, the snow giving way to green grass and clover.

"Any life you create with the freedom I've given you is mine." Price explains, you nod like you understand. It sounds like a big ask, you don't really have the wiggle room to haggle. You don't really understand how all these debts work, which is exactly how you ended up in this situation.

"Who's your friend?" You switch topics, not wanting to discuss the finer details of your deal with the devil.

"You can trust her." That isn't what you asked, but you suppose it's as good as you'll get.

"She got a name?"

"Laswell."

"Is it her name?"

"Is now." Price hums, his hand slides along your back and guides you forward. You haven't been walking long but your feet feel like they're starting to blister as you hit some perimeter and pass through.

You're steered towards another door, a small fenced garden with a gate overgrown with vines. Price raps his knuckles against the wall and waits.

You don't know this man well enough to make conversation, and he doesn't seem to like you besides, so silence lapses. You both watch the wooden door in the other side of the garden, the one attached to the neat brick house. It opens after what feels like a long moment, a woman in a sleek ponytail stares at the two of you before crossing the distance.

"What's this?" She asks Price, all but ignoring you.

"Ghost's new ex."

Laswell is nice. Nice enough at least. You think she sort of... resents having to look after you. The check-ins feel forced, cold, they're a chore that you don't think either of you want to deal with.

For freedom from one fae you sure feel imprisoned by another. How you're supposed to build a life out of this you don't know. It doesn't feel like anything anyone would want as payment, fae or no. Your world consists of your work and your home. Your isolation follows you like a specter of your relationship with Ghost. The tethers that are left make you feel cold, there's deep empty hole in your soul where the tethers were ripped free and you hope every day to find something to fill it. You feel hollow. You thought you'd feel better, you have your freedom, Price hasn't come looking for payment, what more could you want?

You find yourself thinking of your boogeyman. The way he touched you, the way he talked to you, you think of the fear as often as you think of the infatuation. You hesitate to call it love. You don't know if Ghost knows how to love someone. You think about it though, in the wee hours of the morning. You think about how badly you both wanted it to be love.

Price assured you, you'd be safe. Laswell assured you, you are safe. Even the tethers still tying you to Ghost have no pull if he doesn't know where you are. But you'd know Simon blind.

You know as soon as he sets foot in the little Cafe, you don't even have to look up from filling the order. His presence in the doorway draws stares from the other custoners, something you never saw him deal with when you were together. When you look at him it's like you never left. His eyes burn into yours, and your heart clenches, the pathetic leftover tethers giving their best effort at lighting up. He looks bad, worn, like he's been wrung out and left to dry.

You tell your coworker you're taking a break and go to call Laswell. It's all you can think to do. You already know the room when you open the back room door. The hard wood floors and velvet drapes so out of place. An invitation. You close the door, and Ghost's hand closes over yours on the handle. His forehead drops against your shoulder, you wonder when the last time he slept was.

"You left," he tells you, as if you don't already know. He doesn't sound anything, you'd almost hoped he'd be angry if he ever found you. This is so much worse.

"I had to," you whisper, "you would've killed me."

"I'll get it right this time," you press your forehead to the backroom door, and squeeze your eyes shut, "I promise."

#simon ghost riley #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #cod ghost #cod x y/n #ghost mwii #x reader #in all seriousness Ghost would straight up kill his darling if they left him #ripping the tethers out woukd kill at least one of them #which is why Price was so mad he didnt want ghost to die #and he was looking st the tethers knowing what they meant to ghost knowing what you must mean to ghost #and he hated you for leaving one of his dearedt friends #this is some real x reader shit #not canon at all people Love has no mind to leave but the reader is smart enough to try #ghost would hunt you to the ends of the earth i promise

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roxy-writes · 1 year

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this fic is copied directly from my ao3

warnings: noncon, date rape drugs/roofies, kidnapping, bondage

i do not condone any of this behavior irl.

You'd never have guessed that your friendship with Katsuki Bakugo would've turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to you. Actually, yeah you could've. He'd held the title of the most brash, aggressive person you knew from the moment you met him. But...you didn't think he had the capacity to actually ruin your fucking life the way he did. You took him as someone who took every emotion he had and channeled it out into anger, whether it be during his hero work or in daily life. And, despite your best efforts, you managed to find his behavior endearing. You don't know how you put up with him, maybe it was those ever so rare moments where he actually showed affection normally, or maybe it was..you don't really know.

You remember how it all started, when you worked as a barista in a small, local coffee shop Bakugo frequented. He'd come in, clad in his hero suit, his very presence commanding. He'd mutter his order to the cashier and lean against the wall, waiting for someone to shout out "Dynamight", signaling that his order was ready. You'd only glance at him, never paying much mind to the hero. Until one day, your close friend told you they'd become friends with a very popular hero they'd like you to meet. You didn't know who to expect, but it certainly wasn't...him. He recognized you and you recognized him, but neither of you acknowledged it. You couldn't help but enjoy his company once you warmed up to each other. He definitely had charisma. So you and your friend hung out with him more often, and eventually you and him started hanging out alone.

Further into your friendship with Bakugo, you really got a glimpse into who he really was. He wasn't your closest friend, but you had him around often. He liked cooking dinner for you a lot, and he'd always complain if you ordered food instead of just letting him make you something. You'd never admit it, but he was a great cook. He came over to your place one night, and it progressed like every other. He'd get mad at you for trying to order something, scold you, and dig through all your food looking for something to make. So, once he was done, you sat down at the table as he served the food he made. Your favorite food. How'd he know you liked this? You were too hungry to question anything, so you ate with him. You remember taking a sip of the drink he'd poured you, going to sit on your couch with him, and that's where your memories come to a halt.

You'd always figured he might've had a thing for you, but you didn't think he'd go this far.

You woke up somewhere you didn't recognize, in a bed that wasn't yours, with a man you thought was your friend. The fear that rushed through you was like no other, especially during the moment you saw his sick fucking smile as he stared at you from the end of the bed. You don't remember what he said then, but you remember what he did. Remember how horrid you felt when he pinned you down and tied you up so you couldn't fight, slipped his hands into your pants and started touching you. He rubbed your clit and stuck his thick fingers in you, preparing you for what you knew he'd been waiting for. You didn't want it to feel as good as it did. You wished he was hurting you instead, because who was he to be pleasuring you? He shouldn't be the one making you feel like this. But he wasn't gonna listen to your pleas for him to stop. You suspected that the more you begged for this to be over, the more it turned him on, and eventually your cries devolved into high-pitched moans, cries and hiccups. He pulled his soaked fingers out of you, licked them clean, and lined his cock up with your hole.

You instantly became distraught, squirming uselessly. You weren't getting out of this, and you knew it. But that wasn't gonna stop you from begging him to let you go, your words quickly becoming drowned out by his groans and the sounds of his balls smacking against your ass. The stretch felt like you were being torn in half, and he didn't give you much time to adjust before he started moving. Your eyes stayed wide as you tried your best to shut them closed so you wouldn't have to watch what was happening to you. His hair stuck to his face, and his muscles flexed with every thrust. He looked euphoric, like this was all he'd ever wanted. You also remembered he kept talking about how this was just him getting his revenge for all the times you flirted with him and led him on, and how he'd been anticipating the day he'd finally do this. You wondered if this was the only reason he kept up being friends for so long, if this was his goal from the very start. But soon, your train of thought was cut off abruptly by your orgasm. You wished this would all be over already. After a few minutes of him continuing his assault on your cunt, you felt warm cum flood your pussy. Oh fuck. This was only getting worse for you. He pulled out after he was done and cleaned you up. You don't think you ever fully grasped the reality of what had just happened to you.

You went quickly from hanging out with him maybe once a week to seeing him daily. Locked up in this fucking room, with only yourself for company while he was at work. There were a few items to help entertain you, books and things like that. Still, you spent most of your time sitting around, thinking. Thinking about how you'll just have to wait until someone finds you. You lost your sense of time after a while, so you had almost no idea of how long you'd been there. Until he got home from work and came to visit you, you'd just be stuck waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

#tw dark content #tw noncon #mha x reader smut #mha smut #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bnha x reader smut #bnha smut #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo smut #bakugo x reader smut

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angel4astraea · 1 year

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strong believer that dottore has an opposite partner. . . but realistic version !

♡ to be honest, i don't think he'd purposefully look for someone who was different. he's a literal criminal who does vile things to other human beings

♡ everything in his personal life (if he has one) is locked up tight within his own confines of his chest. he's cold but logical, meaning that brain comes over heart. .

♡ with a person who is the complete opposite, things such as personality, style, habits, thinking, etc, he'd be so irritated at first lol. as he got used to your antics, maybe he'd find them somewhat amusing. . especially if you're working under him or beside him.

♡ if you were expecting an epic romance falling, you are sorely wrong. it takes so much to even have someone be in the same space as him when he's working. he's a high and mighty harbinger, he thinks that weaknesses (human emotions) would hinder the fatui's business.

♡ but if you do crack his first shell, you'll definitely know. he'll have you write notes while he speaks aloud when experimenting. . which is huge.

♡ as soon as you do make progress, he'll probably try to push you away. it's probably involuntary as he does it with everyone and thing. if you stay, his confidence with you rises steadily. anything that seems shaky will hinder the progress.

♡ when it gets to the point where he acknowledges something is going on, he talks with you directly. he's blunt with his thoughts and feelings, telling the truth instead of hiding it beneath tricks and tribulations. when that's over with, he'll let you make a decision over a couple days as he also needs to understand the gravity of what might happen to you if he doesn't succeed with his work and goals. pierro could use that against him as blackmail and he couldn't afford to be put down.

♡ when you two do eventually start dating, dates are meticulously planned between his trips and work. he tries his best and sometimes it isn't perfect like he anticipated. even though things can fall through, he still makes sure to make you feel appreciated and loved.

♡ if he's in sumeru, he's definitely cautious when you ask to come along. but that's the time he literally took two gnosis' from nahida so he declined that round. however, he does take you under disguise once.

♡ i believe that the whole "future" talk wouldn't come up until you two are trench deep into the relationship. i'm thinking six months? eitherway, he's clear on his wishes but is willing to hear you out; he doesn't want kids but he would like to marry you. the whole murderous father thing doesn't stick well with him. . you can't blame him.

♡ if you do want kids, he won't shut you down. i mean, he could literally make a child for you and him via his vast knowledge and DNA. that's if you couldn't carry one at the very least. he'll compromise with you about kids, the cutoff is two.

♡ strong believer in the importance of traditional marriages on his end. he might not follow any ethics in the lab but when it comes to something as sacred as this, he does want something normal. i'm thinking he'd want something related to his heritage and home country, sumeru but also something snezhnayian.

♡ would prob marry you around 3 years of dating ngl. even if it seems quick (at least in my opinion), he finds normalcy in this affectionate system you two have created.

♡ bedroom wise. . i think in the early stages of the relationship, he wouldn't initiate anything for the sake of not spoiling the reveal after months of building up bliss and curiosity. i don't care, he's not as big as a whore!

♡ when you do finally get into it, he's mindful about boundaries and whatnot. he also has to be careful with his teeth because they are both pointy and sharp. he hopes you won't kick him to the couch if he accidentally forgets one too many times about his teeth.

♡ i think he's a top but it varies. like, he can be soft when you ask but he can also be rough. his actions rely on your wants, icks and emotions. as much as he likes to say he isn't great with the whole "complex human brain immediately", he still can pick up whatever you're feeling based on faces, habits and even how you breathe.

♡ in my opinion, i believe that he is banned from giving head with teeth and sex in the lab. not explaining.

♡ overall, he's a decent person to be with but it is a LOT of work.

#genshin impact #headcannon #reader #genshin smut #x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #gender neutral reader #dottore #genshin impact dottore #fatui x you #fatui x reader #yaaaas

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restinslices · 6 months

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Mortality

Jesper Fahey x Spouse (no gender specified) Word count: 2150 Summary: You and Jesper aged differently. You aged as any Otkazat’sya did. Jesper on the other hand is Grisha and ages much slower. As your mortality gets closer and closer, you and Jesper have a much needed talk. Wrote this on my phone at midnight😀

People could say a lot of negative things about Jesper Fahey.

He was a shit gambler, a flirt, a drunk, he didn't think, he could be selfish at times, he could give you a headache with one sentence, among other things that could make anyone go in the opposite direction.

But it was impossible to say he wasn't loving. Jesper held onto people and treated everyone like family, even when there were conflicts. There were plenty of times when you and Jesper would have a disagreement, yet he still looked at you like he'd both die and kill for you. Jesper could sometimes make promises he'd easily break for the right price. The promises he made to you though? There was no card game, no shiny gun, no heist, no amount of cash that could make him turn on you.

Jesper supposed that's how he got himself to where he was now and honestly? He wasn't sure he liked it.

Was it selfish to say apart of him wished you two never became something more or maybe that he never met you? Was it selfish to look at your aging body and wish he walked away and stayed away after The Ice Court heist? Maybe. He wasn't sure he cared though.

Aging gave him a tap on the shoulder, but aging slammed into you. That didn't mean you were unattractive in his eyes, it just meant your body felt the stings of aging. Bad knees, hips, shoulder pains, wrinkles, all that was normal and expected. Jesper practically looked the same as he did when you two met. You were closer to death but he felt like the true ghost; forever stuck in a single moment. No changes to himself, only to his environment and the people around him.

Or maybe even a time loop, but only for himself. Everyone else was free and moved on. Not him though.

Jesper didn't realize he was staring until you said something,

“A penny for your thoughts?”.

“What?”

“You're staring”

“Oh” Jesper said with realization, “an accident”. Partially true.

He smoothed out the blankets in front of him to distract himself but that worked as well as anyone would imagine. Your face was imprinted on his mind, and although Jesper could've just laid down and went straight to sleep, he knew it'd be all he'd see when he closed his eyes.

Jesper heard you close and set your book down, then felt your eyes on him.

“What're you doing?”

“Smoothing these blankets. They're quite wrinkly”

“Why?”

“Why? Why does anyone do anything?”

You sighed, “why won't you look at me?”

“I'm getting rid of the wrinkles on this blanket like I said”

“Because you can't get rid of mine?”. Jesper's hands stopped moving and he finally looked at you and another wave of sorrow hit him. Why did your inevitable death hit him so hard?

Maybe it was because you were the last one left.

Kaz, Inej, Wylan, Matthias, they were all gone by now. Matthias’ death was the first hit he received since his mom passed and as time went on the rest of his family, even if not by blood, passed on. Sure, he had Nina but Nina’s home was Ravka. Nina was more often busy than not and she was not the fondest of Kerch. Many times you suggested moving to Ravka for a “change of scenery”. He knew the truth though. You wanted him to get used to living somewhere else so he could be closer to Nina and not alone. You were the last consistent thing attached to his younger life and by some twist of fate, he'd be doomed to outlive majority of the people he met. He wondered if he did something awful in a past life to deserve this.

“You've gone quiet again Jes”

He shook his head. “I don't know what to say”

“Too much on your brain? Don't know how to get it out?”. He assumed you took his silence as an answer because next you said “just say whatever, even if it doesn't make sense”.

He took a deep breath then. It's not like you two hasn't talked about this before, but it was usually a small conversation that he'd slip his way out of with some dumb excuse.

“I have something to do”. “I'm tired”. “Let's go eat”. “I have to go write a letter”. The list went on and on. This time though he couldn't think of an excuse and with limited time, he knew he had to speak to your living body now instead of a tombstone.

“I don't think I'm ready to do this without you”

“Do what?”

“Live”. It came out breathy and quiet. He could tell he had upset you by how deep your frown was. Or maybe that was another sign of aging. He couldn't tell.

“I can't do it”.

“Yes you can”

“I can't”

“Jesper Fahey you can break into a Fjerdan Ice Court, escape, survive months at sea with Kaz Brekker, go toe to toe with every gang in Ketterdam and you still use the words 'I can't’?”. In any other circumstance he would've laughed and made some comment about how amazing he is. He didn't this time though. Nothing really felt enjoyable or funny anymore. Not when you could have some attack at any moment and be gone.

“You're beautiful,” he said. “Absolutely stunning. I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you”

“There's the stars and sea yet I’m the most beautiful thing you've seen?”.

He nodded. “Absolutely”.

“Is that why you're with me then? My charming looks?”

“You could look like all things wrong with the world and I'd still want you”

“Jesper the poet? I think I like it”. Your fragile hand held his and your eyes locked onto his. “You can live without me-”

“I can't”. The tears he had been fighting so hard to keep away finally slipped. He didn't bother wiping them away, too scared to let go of your hand. “I wanna be able to but I can't”

“Why?”.

“Why?”, he repeated. “I just can't”.

Your thumb rubbing over his hand soothed him for a moment, but only a moment. That calmness died when you spoke again.

“If this is hard for you, you can go. You don't have to see me like this”

“Where would I go?”, he asked with furrowed brows and a mix of hurt and confusion etched on his face.

You shrugged. “Ravka maybe? Make it your new home-”

“My home is here. With you”

“You'll have to find a new one when I go”.

His hand slipped from yours, frustration building in his chest. It all sounded so easy but it was only easy because you were the one dying. You wouldn't have to feel another part of you ripped away. You wouldn't feel anything anymore. He would.

He'd think about it almost everyday and a hole would form in his chest and pull him into this thick fog and within this fog he'd hear the future. He'd hear a heart monitor go flat. He'd hear your breathing become shallow before it eventually stopped. He'd hear his own crying. Yet you would come along and act as if everything was alright. You'd be calm and fine while he was breaking on the inside.

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”.

“What?”

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”.

“Stop”.

But you didn't stop. You repeated it again and again and he thought he must've been hallucinating and finally reached his breaking point. He covered his ears but you grabbed his hands and intertwined your fingers with his. You opened your mouth but he cut you off with a broken voice.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you don't understand you can't control this”

“I understand fully” he said quickly. “That's the whole problem. Can you stop being calm and show some sort of emotion for once?”

“What do you want me to do? To cry? To think about it and stress myself to a migraine like you do everyday?”. He hated how you looked at him then; with pity. It felt like with one foot in the grave, you'd always use the other to stay near him and soothe him and it made him feel selfish. “You wanna know how I feel?”. He didn't answer but you continued anyway. “I am terrified of death. Faith exists to calm us of this fear but honestly, I'm still scared. I don't know what's next. I don't know how it'll feel. I don't know if I'll see a light or if I'll be in darkness. I don't know how I'll go out and I don't know how it'll feel to take my last breath. I'm terrified but worrying about it everyday? That's not living. I'll be on my deathbed slipping away and all I'll think about is how I should've lived more”

“You are so stressed about me dying but honestly Jes? You're just making yourself live through the inevitable every single day. We should be loving each other now more than ever when we have the time. We're gonna get to my final moments and we'll both have regrets, the only difference is you'll have to live with yours”.

Jesper couldn't help but let tears fall from his eyes. He knew you were right and that he should be holding you close during this time, but he couldn't help but listen to the tiny voice in his head that drove him insane everyday. Everyday was a reminder that for some unknown reason, he'd live much longer. Years would pass and he'd forget your face and always have to look at pictures or letters to remember you. One day he'd even forget your voice. How long would that take? 10 years? 20? 30?

The more he thought, the more his breathing became erratic and his vision blurred. Blinking away tears didn't work. They'd just come back. You guided his head to your shoulder before your hand found its way to his back to rub circles on it. Jesper wasn't known to cry, but he cried. Hard. And you let him. When his breathing returned to normal, it wasn't because he was no longer sad. It was because he was exhausted. His eyes and nose had gone red by now and his face felt incredibly sore.

When he quieted down, you spoke again. “I want to love you while I still can but if you don't want to see what'll eventually happen… I’m… I'm willing to let you go”. It was hard for you to say. He could tell because of how quiet it came out. Were you willing to? Probably. Did you want to? Absolutely not. He didn't need to ask or look at you to know.

Jesper had a big choice to make. He stayed, spent the rest of your life with you and eventually buried you or he could leave and try to get a jumpstart at a new life. He wouldn't see age continue to eat at you and when your time came, he wouldn't be there. He'd be leaving you alone. He probably wouldn't know exactly when you died. Years would pass and he'd just guess that you were gone.

Jesper was ashamed of how long it took him to make a decision. Leaving seemed so good. The pain of watching you continue to grow old would be no more, but then he'd be left with another pain; the pain of never seeing you again. Of knowing he abandoned you when all you wanted was to hold him close. You had no family and no notable friends besides him and Nina now. You'd probably be found and with no one to identify you, who knew what would become of your body in Kerch. A body with no name. And he'd become a body with no home.

“I'm not going anywhere”. He finally lifted his head up to look at you and although he still felt that pang in his heart, he didn't look away and try to avoid your gaze. He just looked at you, mapping every detail of your face so he could look back and remember just how beautiful you were when you're gone.

“I am so going to miss you”

“Of course you will” you said with a small smile and you finally got a chuckle out of him, even if it was small.

You didn't have forever. You both knew you were on limited time and one day you'd be apart, but you both promised to love and cherish the time you still had together and maybe, just maybe, you'd see each other in the next life when the sun finally set on the both of you.

I am feral for this man in the most wholesome way possible. Legit just wanna hold his hand and hear him talk about dumb shit.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #six of crows imagine #six of crows jesper #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows x y/n #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x you #Jesper fahey one shot #Jesper fahey x y/n #Do not let this flop or istg-#shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone imagine #grishaverse

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turtlecleric · 15 days

Text

Venty thing set in the bayverse, Raph is mentioned but no turtles show up

CWs: Implied depression and suicidal ideation, hurt no comfort

Hm.

Maybe it's because you haven't been sleeping much lately. Actually, it could be that you haven't been doing a very good job of taking your medicine consistently. Yeah, maybe- but you've only missed a few doses. Work is stressful, sure, but that's nothing new.

Whatever the case, it's 5:00 in the afternoon, and you've yet to drag yourself out of bed. Not because you've actually been resting, no, but there's just... something weighing you down. Something holding you here that you can't name or explain very well.

You consider reaching out to one of the guys. They always make you feel better - at least, until you say something stupid and ruin your own mood. But you... you don't really want to be around anyone right now. Especially them. They haven't seen you like this. At least not when it's been this bad. No, better to wait it out, you think. Wait until you can actually make yourself smile. Wait until you can at least act like a normal person.

You feel like you've spent most of your life waiting.

Your phone buzzes shortly. An email, maybe. Or some random app notification. You don't care enough to check.

You feel gross. Maybe a shower would help. But if you're going to shower, then you might as well work out a little first. That's supposed to help, too, or so you've heard. Hasn't yet, but maybe it's the kind of thing you have to do over the course of several months? Or maybe you're just... doing it wrong.

Sometimes it feels like you do everything wrong.

You sigh and roll over, staring at the light filtering into the room through your curtains. For some reason, you wish it was darker outside. This feeling, whatever it is, when it's dark out, it feels... well, not better, exactly, but. Easier? No, that's not right either. More understandable? You don't know. But you wish it was darker all the same.

Surely there's something you can do to feel better. It's been months of this feeling, though, with very little reprieve, despite everything you've done to try and push through it. Trying to keep a positive attitude. Trying to be kinder to yourself. Trying to distract yourself and take steps to avoid isolation when things get dangerous. Trying, trying, trying, that's all you ever do is try. You're tired. Tired of feeling like this, tired of pretending that you're h-

Crying again. You're not sure why you started. You're not sure why you can't stop.

You wonder if Raph ever feels like this. If he ever has days where it feels easier to stay down. Probably not. He's never been one to stay down - not in the time you've known him, at least. He'd probably be able to push through this like it's nothing. He'd probably be disappointed in you for not being able to-

No. You're being overly critical again. Putting sentiments in other people's heads when you've got no evidence that that's what they think. You can't possibly know what Raph would think unless you actually ask him - and that's certainly out of the question.

Still. Maybe you could... text him. It would distract you for a little while, at least, from the gaping maw that is your chest.

You roll over again and reach out, fumbling with your phone. Shaky hands. You should eat.

Maybe later.

You swipe away the notifications that have gathered. Nothing of importance, you note. No one's messaged you. The emails are all spam. Just a bunch of random shit, like you expected.

A voice in the back of your head whispers that if Raphael wanted to talk to you, then he would have messaged you first. You push the thought away, reminding yourself that relationships are a two-way street. And just because someone hasn't reached out doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you at all.

Still. Your thumbs hesitate after opening the text thread you've got with him. You... don't even have anything to say. Not really. There's nothing you feel like talking about, you just- you just want-

You don't know what you want.

You lock your phone and toss it to the side. Maybe you'll message him later.

Or maybe you'll go into the bathroom. And stare at the medicine cabinet for a while.

#turtlecleric scrolls #bay!raph #i shouldn't even tag him he's not in the story #realized too late that this is just a vent and does nothing for the reader #sorry #(i wrote this ages ago and didn't post it because i didn't really like it much but I'm tired of seeing this in my drafts)#god i wish i could write comfort ughhhhhh #maybe I'll work on that this summer

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grrw--boy · 1 year

Text

•Sweat dreams•

Morpheus takes care of his sleepless lover♡ (morpheus x gn!reader)

Prompt: so many things got pilled up so you're unable to sleep properly for the last days, and morpheus decides it has been enough.

Tw: anxiety, trauma(?, fluff, comfort.

Its has been a hell of a month, maybe even a hell of years.

You'd haved never had a peacefull life, but lately life seems harder than ever, days feel longer and even more tiring, that not even the soft carress of my lover seems to erase the frown on my face.

Morpheus, dream, my love, he has always helped me feel normal, calm, wanted. So i cant help but feel guilty of being so distant from him lately, knowing full well he always tries to help me in any way he can.

But i cant really help it, can't i?

Work has been anything but gentle, with the amount of late doing work i have, im almost restless, not really taking breaks ethier.

Morpheus was anxious, scared even, he knew your work was tiring but this looks extreme.

Its been days since he saw you in your dreams before youd woken up a few hours later, and even in your own dreams you looked exhausted with dark eyebags and a marked scowl on your pretty face

So he had enough

Everyone has bad days so he though youll be okay in a few days, but it has been weeks, so he decided to visit you when he finally had time to. As this not only worried your fisical state but your mental state too.

He remebers years ago when youll end breaking down in his arms, telling him how you couldnt go on like this in tears.

He'd never wish to see you so sadly lonely again, it would personaly pain him too much.

So after he had remotily finished his work he was running to see you.

You where comsuded by another work fit at 3 am when you heard a knock to your aparment door, in confusion of who might be visiting, you shouted a wait to the door while stoping your work and rushing to the door*

"Who is it?" You move your hair to look more presentable trough your stress.

"Its me dear,-" at hearing his voice after so much time you open the door without second thougth, not letting him finish his phrase, seeing your certain tall, blue eyed lover.

"-morpheus." He chuckles at your eageress to see him, but quickly noticed your tired look, unsurpsingly.

"My dea-" "morpheus!, what are you doing here?, so late... is everything alright?" Your voice quickly changes to worry while you question the reason of his visit.

"No, no, dear, everything its okay i just..." he sighes before saying "missed you, we havent seen eachother in a few weeks and i have noticed you havent being coming to the dreaming a lot ethier" he finishes while coming inside as you opened the door more for him to come in.

"Yes i- i have been busy lately, im sorry love, i think i didnt realise we havent seen eachothee in that much..."

"Theres nothing to be sorry about my dear, i know you're stressed, i want to help you" he notices the amount of work in your desk "and its quite late too, you need rest, and love. come on to bed now" he holds your arm to the bedroom.

"B-but morpheus! Theres to much to fini-" "no, to bed now, tomorrow youll finish your chores, when you're well rested"

You sigh giving up, as you cant convice the dream lord of anything especially about your care, and because the offer didnt sound so bad.

Morpheus gides you into bed before turning of the lights in the office, going to laid with you and give you your well needed rest. He goes to hold you as you get more comfortable next to him, already feeling sleep taking over you while feeling dream kissing your forehead and rubbing your head as you cuddle with him.

Before you knew it you were magicly falling asleep in your lovers embrace, feeling some beat of calmness in a long time, before hearing some soft whispers of your lover, knowing youll get some enticing dreams tonight

"Sleep well my love, ill see you in a moment".

#x male reader #morpheus x male reader #morpheus x reader #morpheus sandman #the sandman #dream of the endless #dream x male reader #dream x reader #x male reader fluff #this was longer than expected #morpheus x reader comfort #sandman x male reader #gay #fem aligned dni

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kyouka-supremacy · 3 months

Note

Atsushi for the ask game.

ATSUSHI HERE WE GO THANK YOU FOR HEARING MY PRAYERS

Favorite thing about them: HIS SELFISHNESS. It's so so delicious to explore. Can you imagine a protagonist that saves others not out of simple good will, but because of egoistic self-preservation motives? It just feels counterintuitive for me lmao, and I found it quite messed up when I first watched the anime, but now it's so compelling to explore. His whole “everything I do is in order to gain the right to live” is crazy fashinating. Because lol, that's entirely nonsensical to me! There's no such thing as “gaining the right to live”; all humans, every person in the world is inherently deserving of life. All. No exception. So there's no level of “weak” or “worthless” that would make you lose that right. The fact that's it's a vision so distant and absurd from mine, idk, it just makes it very compelling to explore? “What if there was a little fucked up guy who believed the right to live had to be earned” just sounds like a very interesting premise.

Least favorite thing about them: When I first watched the anime, I think I found him low-key annoying? I just... Don't do very well with self-deprecating people and people who complain a lot in general, I usually suffer in silence and tend to (wrongly) assume others should do the same (this probably makes me sound pretty mean, I swear I try to be understanding irl). However, it doesn't bother me as much anymore, I simply think it's more of a distinctive trait of the character that makes him multilayered and unique. As of now, I can't think of anything I don't like about him if not the fact that I wish he'd rely on Dazai and others in general a little less. I know that has to do with his lack of self-worth, so maybe it makes sense,, but as of now he feels kind of stuck. I just wish we'd see him grow more on that front.

Favorite line:

There may be better ones, but I really like the delivery of this one.

brOTP: KYOUKA AND ATSUSHI they make me go insane. Already talked about this in the Kyouka post but just to reiterate: in my headcanon Kyouka really is the only person Atsushi feels genuine, selfless affection towards. It's very sweet. They're siblings. Kyouka's happiness is really important for Atsushi. They really do have that feeling of people who got out of an abusive environment learning what normality is supposed to be like together. I also really like how they compensate for what the other lacks, be it decisiveness and coolhead for Atsushi and empathy and positivity for Kyouka. Although plenty shipping them romantically, I really like platonic sskk and atsulucy as well.

OTP: I really like sskk eheh. I think they're neat. There's a thousand and one reasons why I find them pretty great. They're objectively the only reason why I got invested in bsd as well as the only thing that has me keep up with the franchise to this day. Right now, I feel like the one thing I really appreciate about them is how you can be the worst person in the universe and still somehow be loveable to someone. I think it's sweet. I also find it very fun and enterataining to explore their various soulmatism antics. They're both very complex and multilayered characters with something deeply wrong with how their minds work that makes them very fun to analyze both by their own and in the complexity of their relationship. Their collective story arc and canon relationship progression is extremely engaging and nice to follow, too. I love dazatsu and atsulucy as well!! Both were ships I wasn't particularly invested when I read the manga for the first time, but really grew in me in the last six months or so. I really dig akuatsulucy as well!!

nOTP: Nothing?

Random headcanon: He really likes reading. There's some real meta-analysis to be made here I actually had written this is probably not the right place to talk about, but in a work that's all about literature, he's the character who reads.

Unpopular opinion: He's the hardest character to write / characterize. That's why people should probably go easier on other fans when they mischaracterize him. He's just very multifaceted and genuinely hard to get. I keep seeing people being like “Stop babyfying Atsushi he's an independent adult!!” then turn around to say “he can't be shipped with Dazai because there's too much unbalance of power :// [somewhat implying Atsushi can't make free decisions for himself]”, or “Stop making of Atsushi a soft baby who never did wrong in his life!!!” then turn around to say “Atsushi is the happy puppy of the agency who gets treats and pats from everyone ^^ ” like. At least to me, a lot of people's arguments sound self-contradictory all the time; but that doesn't mean people should stop having fun and characterize the characters as they like! Just, let's stop being mean to each other and try to be a little more accepting towards others' takes, shall we? And yes that also includes letting people find Atsushi annoying if they find him annoying (although like, I've NEVER found anyone call Atsushi annoying ever, so really, what remote fandom spaces is everyone visiting? Why are you looking for clothes (good takes) at the soup store (Tik/tok I assume?) ).

Song i associate with them: Common World Domination by Pinocchio-P, HIBANA by DECO*27, Ghost Rule by DECO*27, so on and so forth.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration: Look, there's too many beautiful illustrations, I can't chose. Here's a very good one though.

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

But also:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

#Btw I think the author does truly believe that people have to earn their own right to live and that #“people can't live unless someone tells them ‘it's okay to go on’ ”#Which is all sorts of fucked up for me and just goes to the encyclopedia titled Reasons Why I Strongly Disagree With Bsd Morals #But taking the character Atsushi on its own out of the context of which worldvies bsd does or doesn't enable.#I think it's very compelling to explore a character who thinks like that!!#Of course‚ feel free to disagree with my interpretation of the text #atsushi nakajima #bsd #mine #people asks me stuff #I feel like with this more than others I have more to say that just didn't come to me...#I have so many headcanons and opinions about Atsushi how can I only pick one!!!

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0rb0t · 1 year

Text

Don't mind me, just talking about Shadow as being on the autistic spectrum, and how his portrayal in the games and anime (before 2010s era) reflected this even if it was never outright stated.

(TIME FOR A CHARACTER ANALYSIS ABOUT SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG)

When I was in high school, I struggled a lot in social situations, I'd go completely stiff and just watch people. I had a "resting bitch face", I never really could have conversations and seemed to just fixate on things. I'd make observations that irritated people. I'd ask "why" a lot. (Asking why or even asking 'obvious' questions seemed to make people think I was questioning their judgment, or that I was challenging them. But no, I just didn't understand and wanted clarification. I still run into this a lot and I wish people would stop assuming I have ulterior motives. I just wanna understand stuff better cause it doesn't connect for me. Even if it seems obvious. I'm the genius that asked my mom why she was crying at her dad's funeral when I was 11. It's not that I didn't understand why Grandpa was gone, I knew he passed away, but it hadn't really landed for me, and my brain registered my mom's sadness before it registered the why.)

I didn't like small talk (still don't) and would rather every interaction have a specific purpose. You'd never catch me at a party and I didn't think drinking or drugs looked fun or interesting. The act of rebelling didn't interest me either. The few interests I did have were something I'd always go back to, and I couldn't function without them. (For me, drawing has always been a huge part of my life and if I didn't have a pencil or pen and paper, then I couldn't hear. I know, very weird. If I were doodling or just even had my sketchbook open, I could study a lot easier. In High school, my teachers started telling me to put the sketchbook away, and my grades plummeted because my attention did, too. Trying to tell them just kind of led to the same old "well everyone else can't doodle so you can't either". I wasn't in any of the special ed stuff because I guess I masked too well.)

Sonic 06 and Sonic X have the same characterization for Shadow, especially in Japanese, and I think that's honestly the best he'd ever been-- he's quiet, he's reserved, he observes and he doesn't like to "waste time". Not because he's edgy, not because he's a jerk or too serious, but because he struggles in social situations and he's more introverted. He doesn't want to be the centre of attention, he doesn't enjoy any of that. Shadow also behaves like an adult, and I'm sure a ton of us on the spectrum have heard that before, that we're very mature for our age. In reality, we can't relate with our peers and have very fixated interests that don't really expand to other things. Limited interests and we just wanna do stuff tied to that. We know so much about that one thing or those things, but those things won't get you ahead in school. Unless you're LUCKY and your fixation is math, oy vey! (My fixation was etymology. I loved learning and knowing where words came from. Useful for 2 seconds in English class, quickly loses its usefulness in a skill-oriented world.)

I don't even think he's naturally boastful, at least he wasn't since SA2 (when he was an antagonist), but Sonic brings out a competitive side in him. Sonic brings out the childhood-self that he lost to trauma and being sealed away. Shadow never got to be a normal kid/adult. He has always had expectations placed on him. I think Sonic really brings out a side of him that even surprises himself. It's why he will even say very often "What am I doing?" or "This is such a waste of time!" but he won't STOP… Because he's having fun and doesn't know how to describe his own feelings. Shadow's the type who'll say "I'm fine" no matter what state he's in when you ask if he's okay. My spouse is like this actually-- I can often tell when he's feeling down, but he doesn't know how to describe emotions beyond functional things like "i'm healthy" or "i'm unhealthy", so he'll say he's fine even if he's having a melancholy day. I struggle with understanding my emotional responses, but not necessarily identifying them. A lot of people on the spectrum do struggle with identifying their emotions beyond empirical things. "Do I feel sick? No? then I'm fine" Shadow is exactly like this. And because his expression is so neutral, sometimes intense, he gets mistaken as being angry or too serious. In reality, he's just standing there. He's not gonna expend energy smiling when he's got nothing to smile about. Why force yourself to emote for people? Especially if it feels unnatural.

Another thing about Shadow being autistic is if he's got nothing to say, then he won't say it. If he wants to leave, he'll leave. Good luck stopping him! But for many actual people it's not an option to leave. We can't just teleport out or skate at lightning speeds like he can, so we have to just sit there and do little coping or self soothing methods to keep ourselves in the moment and calm. We don't often see Shadow stimming in traditionally understood ways, like lip biting or rubbing his arms or fidgeting with his fingers-- but he often stands with his arms crossed. This CAN BE a stim. Feeling the weight of your arms on top of each other, it allows for you to be aware of your own body. I fold my arms a lot in public, because I'm usually playing with the hem of my sleeves, or I'm rubbing my arms or squeezing them. Shadow doesn't seem to do any of that but he's rarely seen without his arms folded.

When his arms aren't folded, he stands so still and just stares at people. He looks completely out of his element. He doesn't seem to have a relaxed stance--until the anime, where he's shown standing with his hand on his hip. Rouge also does this, leading to the popular headcanons that Shadow is unintentionally imitating Rouge-- his masking leads him to identify the most 'normal' person in the room and copy their behavior in order to blend in better. Unfortunately it rarely, in my experience, leads to people NOT thinking I'm weird. Sometimes I'll even start imitating speech patterns or accents and BOY. I don't even realize I'm doing it until it HAPPENS. So embarrassing. But Shadow absolutely imitates everyone around him. We can see him do this even as far back as Sonic Heroes--that scene where he's nodding or shaking his head to whatever Rouge is saying. The scene where Sonic starts getting competitive and Shadow starts kind of imitating his posture and his way of speaking to become competitive with them-- I don't even think he realizes he's doing it. But it also makes sense with his NAME.

His name is Shadow. I think of Peter Pan, where Peter's Shadow can sometimes get away from him. Usually it does everything he does, but sometimes it gets away and does its own things, and Peter has to catch it. Wendy sews the shadow back on in Hook. I think Shadow's name is referencing that as well, that just like a shadow, he mimics those around him. He's watching over them, but also copying them. Learning to blend in.

Another moment I adore is in SA2 (and Sonic X) when Amy Rose hugs him from behind. According to the 2010s era and early IDW, you'd have expected Shadow to push her away or yell DONT TOUCH ME or whatever. But no, he actually just goes REALLY RIGID and doesn't even say anything. It isn't until Amy realizes her mistake that Shadow turns around to look at her, smiling like 'What are you doing???' But in Sonic X, they changed this scene further into autistic territory--

Shadow doesn't even TURN to her. He goes rigid, yes, and his eyes widen and he just stands there looking towards the audience like 8| He's completely OUT OF HIS ELEMENT. He prepared for the mission, NOT to deal with random people HUGGING HIM. He's probably not been hugged since Maria over 50 years ago. We don't even know if Maria hugged him much because Shadow has always seemed pretty touch-averse. I love GIVING hugs and I love receiving hugs but only from people I'm REALLY close to. I don't even like getting hugs from extended family. My spouse? VERY touch averse. He'll get hugs from me but hugging and touch are just not his thing. Shadow is not a huggy person, but he does tend to hold hands.

We know he grabbed and held Maria's hand, running with her-- but we never actually saw that until Sonic X (2003) he can be seen running with her away from the military, and he's holding her hand as he leads her. In Shadow the Hedgehog, Maria often grabs Shadow's hand when telling him things. This is also a grounding method to bring the person into the moment. For me, I feel like I can focus better on what my spouse is saying to me when he holds my hand and it's crowded or busy. Even in our home, if he wants to tell me something, I recommend that he hold my hand or touch my arm so I can focus on him better. This happens with Shadow.

Sonic doesn't tend to hold peoples' hands. In Sonic X he usually just picks people up, but we do see him grab Elise's arm in 06 and run with her. But holding hands? Not really his thing! Shadow does do it more often though. In Sonic X S3, in the episode, Molly's Dream, Shadow's immediate way of leading Molly away from danger is to grab and hold her hand. He even keeps holding her hand until she lets go. It speaks to me the sort of childlike behavior he may still be exhibiting, but not that I'm trying to say that autistic people are more like children. From my experience on the spectrum, I am more childish than my peers. I still react like a kid might to things, and I don't really think like an adult is expected to. I am mentally behind my peers as well, I think my emotional maturity is lower? But it's hard to measure that without a doctor. It's not just about laughing at fart jokes or knowing to pay bills, it's like, how I problem solve is more creatively aligned with kids than it is adults. This is both great and terrible, depending on the situation. A situation that requires math and stuff cannot be solved my way. A situation that involves encouraging kids to try again or be nice to each other, well it's very useful because I can communicate with them on their level (I was a teacher in South Korea for over half a decade, my brain was great for being a teacher but not great for other things).

I think Shadow really gets misread as a mean guy a lot, but he really isn't. I also don't really enjoy the headcanons that imagine him as very outgoing and whimsical when he was on the ARK, and I especially don't like headcanons that infantilize him-- I really don't like headcanons where people infantilize autistic people. We've seen Shadow when he loses his memories a few times. In Heroes, but also in S3 of Sonic X-- his personality is still the same. He's still reserved, he's still quiet, he still struggles in social situations and prefers getting to the point rather than dilly-dallying. I'd argue that he was exactly like that before the incident on the ARK, too. It's just that the incident caused his inner peace to be destroyed. His precious person, Maria, was no longer around and he lost everything all at once. He doubled down on the one thing that made sense: Revenge. But even after all of that was sorted out, he's not gonna just magically be a different person. He's still reserved, he's still serious, he's still "get to the point". If he played FFXIV, he'd only focus on main quests, and never do side quests. He'd never spend money on cosmetics, probably. He's likely a person who values gameplay over story. If the game is broken or the mechanics aren't utilized well, that's probably more what he'd be fixated on than whether the story was good or not. He'd skip through dialogue because he reads fast, even if the dialogue is voiced (my spouse does this and it drives me nuts. SHADOW I BEG OF YOU PLEASE DO IT FOR ME, DISABLE THE VOICE ACTING IN OPTIONS SO I STOP HEARING THE FIRST UTTERANCE OF A WORD EVERY TIME U MASH THROUGH THE DIALOGUE)

Trauma affects people in all kinds of ways. I don't think all autistic people are like Shadow, because autism is a spectrum and no two people present exactly the same, although there will be similarities. Shadow's trauma happened at a time where he barely knew himself already, so that's why it was so easy for him to fixate on revenge, and then he'd be content with dying afterwards because he figured he had nothing left to live for. Finding out he was wrong was the best thing that could have happened to him.

I was really saddened when SEGA decided he was an edgelord who hated everything and had no friends because that's such a horrible read of this nuanced character. In my personal headcanons for Shadow, he's actually very into plants and flowers, because Maria loved the planet so much. And eventually he learns to love the planet because of nature. Shadow's never going to be a people person, in fact he probably still doesn't care much for people as a whole, but that doesn't mean he won't step up when they need his help. Which is why his line in Sonic 06 is still so poignant. "If the world chooses to become my enemy, then I'll fight like I always have." Basically, it really doesn't matter, I've made my choice, I know who I am now and I get to make those decisions. No one else will shake the foundations of who I am.

And because he knows who he is, he doesn't feel the need to repeat it and boast about himself. He's confident, not arrogant. He can be smug and competitive, but that's playfulness, not cruelty. He's quiet and may just straight up walk away while someone is mid-sentence, but that's not because he's evil or intentionally being a jerk-- it's just how he is. He needs to work on it if he wants to have friends, but his friends already understand him very well. They know that he's like that, and from what we saw in The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, occasionally they forget it's not personal. I'm happy to see them admitting "oh no, I completely misjudged you, I'm so sorry!" because it's been way too long since we've heard the main cast apologize to Shadow for assuming he was a big jerk on purpose.

Knowing the restrictions on how Shadow is written have been lifted, I'm really hoping we can get more of how he's meant to be, the reserved, socially awkward but well-meaning hedgehog we love. Autistic Shadow FTW!

(our experiences and headcanons

may differ, that's okay.)

#character analysis #character meta #shadow character meta #shadow the hedgehog #long post #sonic the hedgehog #sth shadow #shadow autism moments #he's just like me fr fr #sonic headcanons #shadow headcanons

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necros-writing-stuff · 11 months

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Eden's new spouse had a diary on them when he took them. Spouse doesn't write in the diary for a bit at first while at the cabin, then starts writing again. Eden's spouse is pretty quiet, so they get curious. Eden reads the diary, and there are a bunch of entries about how awful life was and what they needed to do to survive, then spouse starts writing again and it's all about how much better life is now, and how much they love and appreciate Eden. Cue feels.

Brief, non-specific mentions of types of abuse PC faced growing up mentioned. Other than that, pretty fluffy (with some horny strewn throughout):

Eden doesn't always come back home this early from hunts. This one, however, went pretty badly when he'd stumbled across another hunter's old metal trap and cut his forearm. Of course he'd left his cleaning shit back at the cabin. It was just one of those days where nothing seemed to go right.

You'd seemed frazzled as you buzzed around him, still too quiet to really ask if you could help but the worry obvious in your eyes. That's when he noticed the poorly hidden notebook. You'd tried to put it behind the drawer, but in your haste to appear normal it'd fallen from its hiding spot and Eden finally discovered your little secret.

He kept his discovery to himself. Best that you wouldn't know so that you wouldn't change the hiding spot and Eden would be able to read future updates you wrote.

The chance to find out what the book entailed came early the next morning. Eden had an excuse to laze around a bit with his healing arm, but you were up and out to do chores. He didn't know what to expect. Plans to run away? Gorey scribbles of his head on a pike? Confessions of love for another?

The truth was somehow worse, yet far better.

The hunter's throat had a lump growing in it the further he read. It was a diary of sorts, detailing life at the orphanage before you were taken by Eden. He couldn't read too much of it, every hit and insult dredging up memories of his own he'd rather stay buried. His stomach flipped when he got to the sexual abuse. Goddamn it Bailey. Of all people, he should know better.

Despite the horrific details, there was a hopeful tone to the words he read. A tone that made sense as he continued to read. You'd written all of this after having been at the cabin for a while, having settled in and been allowed the freedom to use Eden's things as your own. Part of him was peeved he'd lost out on using a perfectly fine note book, but it was worth the words he had before him.

"I feel safe here. I didn't think I would ever know that feeling again, but I do now. Eden keeps me happy - which is still strange some days because he did sort of kidnap me. And he was terrifying. But with every new day I just can't help but feel like I might be starting to love him? Just a little bit? Maybe it's just Stockholm Syndrome."

That was just one entrance from three months ago. The trend continued.

"Yeah no, definitely lust at least. Caught myself almost drooling at him today while he was chopping wood, didn't even stop staring when he saw me. Ahhhh I must look like a freak to him sometimes. Well ya get what ya didn't pay for mister!"

The hunter couldn't help but chuckle at that. Though his cheeks grew hot from the thought that you'd been oggling him so. He'd have to remember to tale his shirt off while getting firewood more often.

"It's so fucking stupid, but every damn time he lets me sit in his lap and he reads to me I forget everything else ever existing. It's just me and him and the story he's reading, and I never feel so content anywhere else. Well, except maybe when we're doing it. He's getting really good when he goes down on me these days, I only wish he'd do it more often. I think I might have scared him by how hard I pulled his hair last time?"

More oral... yup he can certainly remember to do that. And no, it hadn't scared him at all when you'd pulled on his hair. It had almost made him finish in his pants before he could get to fucking you properly, actually. Hence why he didn't let you do it anymore.

There were more entries that Eden had to save for later, carefully placing your book back into its place and then finally joining you outside to do his share of the chores. A bubbly feeling rose in his chest as he worked, each time he caught your eyes on him only having him remember the words you'd written about finding it a turn on to watch him do jobs around the cabin.

It had been a long time since you'd felt safe. It had been a longer time since Eden had felt desirable. Since he'd felt accepted and loved.

Each day he'd find the time to check if you'd written something new. It was meant to be private, but he felt as though he needed to hear your praise. It became a crutch, a way to tell how the relationship was due to your withdrawn nature. You still didn't speak up very often. The hunter didn't hear your voice as much as he'd like to, so your written word had to fill the void. And it did, greatly.

Each and every compliment made his cheeks grow hot, his back a little straighter and his head was held a little higher. Every small declaration of love felt to be the size of Jupiter. Every moment of frustration endearing. He'd even been using the bedroom tips you had for him - carefully, of course. Didn't want you catching on.

You would eventually. You'd learn that he was reading your diary. But for now, Eden got to enjoy you in his own private way, too.

#spill your guts #wayfare-angel #eden the hunter #'nw lemon'#'nw abduction'#gn reader #'nw abuse'

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fullsunised · 1 year

Text

NCT DREAM IMAGINE: CHAPTER SEVEN

╰─▸ ❝ @ nct dream x idol! gn! reader

→ them after breaking up with you.

→ requests open

→ trigger warnings: none

→ genre: angst

→ a/n: is this a serve? my hands are unstable due to all the caffeine ayo. hahahaahaghagahagahaggagaga. I need a gf pls :( I love dust :((

→ inspired by dust by seventeen

dust

MARK LEE

he would never be able to digest the fact that you broke up. his mind would still live in the illusion of you being his still. so much, that he would catch himself typing a message to you once everyday, until he realises, you aren't his anymore.

he wouldn't have even much a minute himself to ponder over what could've been done different because he was too busy- that was reason you broke it off. it wasn't just him, it was you too. both of you had very little time for each other..to the point where it felt like a burden to see each other.

he often texts the friends you both have in common to find out what and how you've been doing. he's very guilty, like it wasn't his fault, everyone in nct tells him that but the guilt eats him up, so much that he stands outside your door ready to fix everything, however he leaves.

it was all for the better, right?

RENJUN HUANG

he's just so lost. he's quick to digest but not quick to move on. especially after the reason you leave him was because you were exhausted balancing love and life. he understands you completely, but he would be upset at you being so selfish.

what about him? did he never cross your head when making that decision? he'd often look to his right side, where you always waited for him with your arms open. in every little thing you do, you'd cloud his mind. he's painting, he's painting sunsets cause they were your favourite. he's eating, he's eating something sweet cause you loved them.

he doesn't have to find out about you, everything about you was all over the internet. he would google your name ever so often staying updated with everything in your life. you're comeback, you know he's staying up late to watch it, you're new show, he's forcing all of nct to watch it.

after all, he has and would truly never let go your warmth.

JENO LEE

he's angry. for being incompetent, for being selfish, so much that you decide to leave. truly, the fault lies in no one, just life got in the way of love, but jeno wished he did something different, something that made you stay in his life longer.

all the maybe's would blur his head, he's thinking about you all the time. every time your face pops up on the screen or every time you show up in the show he was watching, he's watching you with a gloomy smile. when he thought, you would be his forever, it was truly a shame you let each other go.

he believes you'll comeback to him, even if you could live without him, he needed you and you knew that. he's constantly checking his phone for a message, every time the door bell rings he's rushing to open it, every time he hears your name his eyes light up.

everyone deserves a second chance.

HAECHAN LEE

denial. so much that he texts you so often, you'd have to remind him to not pretend everything is normal. he's scoffing knowing you'd run right back into his arms. he waits a day, a week, a month, when you don't show up, he's loses it.

he finds hope in the fact that you didn't delete his number or block him. when you bump into each other during shows he's desperately trying to catch his eyes, but you look down afraid if you look into his eyes you won't be able to leave. speaks to all the members about his situation, takes advice and realises he cannot ever let you go.

on a day when rain was drenching the city, he finds himself running to you, banging on your door just to hear you voice, to see your face, and to make you stay. in his world that was chaotic, you were his only salvation.

and he cannot loose that can he?

JAEMIN NA

he's fine, smiling, making jokes, laughing, poking fun, except he really isn't. all those smiles, and laughs turn into tears at night, all muffled and left behind in his pillow. he pretends, be it for the rest of life because without you there wasn't much for him.

every time your face greets him on the screen, he smiles first, then cries. sleepless nights are normal, how could he sleep knowing you weren't with him anymore, how could he sleep knowing he couldn't go to you. skipping meals was a constant, he believes he doesn't deserve to eat because he couldn't keep you safe from the world, from his own fans who he loved very dearly.

when he sees you on shows, hope comes back into his heart, however it gets shattered instantly when you pay no attention to him. he's crying so often, jeno has to reach out to you. understanding the situation you agree to see him. this ends with a promise,

to find each other again.

CHENLE ZHONG

he's devastated. but at least relieved that he let you go. if this relationship was the reason you were hurting, the reason you couldn't do what you loved, he's happy with letting you go but he's still heartbroken. in his eyes, you were everything he ever wanted, everything he believed he deserved.

he's still sending you gifts, asking you how you were on a daily basis, when you don't push him away and patiently answer all his questions, he's okay. he's smiling, but somewhere inside his heart he'd wonder, ever so often if you two would go back to normal, at least later in life when you two weren't caught up with your professions.

but when he realises that was very far in the future, he's trying, every day he's loosing a part of you, a part of himself until there is nothing left. with a bittersweet smile, he's saying his goodbye, a small hope lingering behind in his heart.

a hope to hold you once again.

JISUNG PARK

he cries. when you're leaving, after you left. his tears won't stop no matter how much he wants them to. so, he finds ways to distract himself, which is mainly through dancing. he's dancing all the time, to the point his limbs would fall off but he didn't stop, cause if he did you'd cloud his mind again.

when he sees you on shows, or on the TV smiling, he catches himself wondering if you were actually happy letting him leave; he's happy that you did, if that's what you truly wanted, but he's upset that you did. he wouldn't be able to decide if he should let you be or chase after you.

his members are concerned for sure. the jisung that was smiling was a rare sight to see, they try their hardest to make him laugh, and when he does, they feel like they've accomplished something until all that falls apart because he's crying himself to sleep.

for, no one warned him how difficult loving and letting go was.

fullsunised.

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mrsshabana · 9 months

Note

Do you take requests? I'm having a really crummy time rn and would love to see Gyutaro stumbling onto a young woman with some pretty bad parent issues. Like, the man can fr relate.

Gyutaro comforts you when you're having family issues

❀ CW: Angst & Fluff, Gender neutral reader

❀ AN: I am so so sorry it took me so long to answer this one. It got drowned in the sea of requests, but I hope that you enjoy how it came out!

❀ WC:985

Gyutaro was waiting outside of Ume's school to pick her up from cheerleading practice. He got there a bit early so he was just waiting around outside by his motorcycle. And that's when he heard it. The sound of someone crying.

Walking around the corner of the brick building, he sees you sitting on the ground with your knees pulled up to your chest. Sniffling and trying to muffle your sobs.

Shit, Gyutaro thought as he stared down at you. He recognized you. You were one of the students on the team with his sister, you had even been to their apartment a few times. Gyutaro had never spoken to you much but he knew you well enough to know that you were a good influence on his sister. One of the few friends of hers that he actually approved of.

"Y/N?" he kneels down and puts a hand on your shoulder.

You peer up at him, "Oh, h-hey Gyutaro," you sniffle. Usually you'd be more embarrassed about crying in front of someone, but you've reached a point where you can no longer care.

"Everythin' alright?" He says with concern, trying to be kind but also not pry too much. He normally wouldn't give two shits about someone crying. But he knows you are his sister's friend and he has a soft spot for you. If someone saw his sister crying and he wasn't around to comfort her, he'd want them to help her too. He doesn't know if you have a big brother, but right now he's going to try to be that comforting big brother for you. It's one of the things he's best at after all.

You shake your head, "No." You mutter and cover your eyes as your tears continue to flow.

Gyutaro frowns and sits beside you, putting his hand on your back and rubbing it. "Do you wanna talk about what happened? I'm here to listen." He soothes you until you are able to calm down enough to speak.

You go on to tell him about the situation with your parents. And how every day you dread coming home from school and having to deal with their judgmental and controlling behavior. How you don't even feel comfortable in your own home, and it's gotten to the point of being unbearable.

"I-I wish I could just run away... I can't do this anymore Gyutaro. But I have no where else to go... I feel so trapped." You whimper, feeling everything crumbling around you as you finally verbalize your feelings to another person for the first time.

Gyutaro knows this feeling all too well. You remind him of himself when he was in high school. But he doesn't want you to end up like him, a drop out working a dead end job.

He wraps his arm around you and allows you to cry on his chest. Using his other hand to stroke your hair, muttering, "Shh it's ok... I know I know..." as you break down in tears once again.

"I was in a similar position when I was in high school," he sighs, "I understand how you feel. And it really fucking sucks. It makes you feel like you'll be trapped forever, and you can't even go to the people that are supposed to be there for you the most."

He pauses for a moment as he remembers a painful memory, "But look, you can't be like me. I ended up dropping out my junior year... and look where it got me? Nowhere."

You look up at him and wipe your tears, "But that's not true! You were able to get Ume out of that bad situation and provide a better life for her and yourself," you try to reassure him that he isn't a failure like he may think.

A small smile forms across his lips, "I guess that's true... but that still doesn't mean you can drop out! You need to value your future, at least more than I did," he pulls out a receipt from his pocket and writes something on it.

"Here, this's my phone number. I know it ain't easy to just suck it up and live like things are ok. Nah it's actually impossible. And right now it may seem like there are no options for you, but I promise things will get better. As soon as you graduate I'll help you figure out how to get away from your parents. But for now, you have to stay with them."

He frowns somberly, wishing he could give you some better advice but he knows he can't.

"If you ever need me, don't hesitate to call. You're welcome anytime at our home, ok? If things get to be too much and you just need to get away, call me and I'll come pick you up. Just promise you won't drop out, alright?"

You nod, taking the piece of paper with shaky hands. Staring at the number scribbled down, repeating it in your head just in case.

"Thank you, Gyutaro," you smile, "I really appreciate this."

"Don't worry about it," he pinches your cheek, "There's that pretty smile. You shouldn't cry so much or else you'll get ugly forehead wrinkles like my sister."

You can't help but chuckle from his comment. Using his brotherly charm to make you laugh warms his heart.

He stands up and reaches his hand out to you. You grab onto his large hands and pull yourself up, wiping away the dirt from your cheerleading uniform.

"How about you come back to our place tonight. I can order takeout and we can watch whatever reality tv shit you and Ume like."

"R-really? I don't want to inconvenience you..."

He leans forward and snatches your bag, "Well I'm takin' your bag so if you want it back I guess you gotta come to our place," he gives you a cheeky smile.

#gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #demon slayer x gender neutral reader #kny x gender neutral reader #replies

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