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visionofhope04 · 3 years

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Hii I was lowkey wondering if you would do something maybe like a one shot of neglected where reader is older (18-20) and dipped out of the house and became a singer and one of her songs basically exposed them for how they treated reader and in like an interview she full on tells them how she doesn’t even talk to them and like only Jason

This is literally perfect. I love this idea! I was planning on making a singer batsis reader anyway so here you go! I'll be making this part 4 of the series instead of a one shot. There’s a bit of angst. Btw, thanks so much for your support everyone! I'm glad you enjoy this series! Feel free to request anything you'd like besides smut as well!

This is the longest thing I have ever written so there will be a part 5. I planned on this being the last part but it's just so much. It’s not proofread and neither are all of the other parts because I post at 1 am most of the time lol. Hope you like it!

f/n = friend name

Y/G/N = your group name

N/S = news station

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Current) Part 5

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You were sick of it. Sick of how even after confronting them about how you felt and almost dying because of it, they still neglected you. You couldn't wait to move out at the age of 18, even if it proved to be a struggle. You had taken mini jobs since you turned 15 and saved up since then. You just couldn't see them anymore as it would remind you of how they treated you that day at that hospital. None of them apologized either. They just pretended it never happened and continued to ignore you. The media had a field day with speculation of what had happened but eventually stopped because Bruce had claimed it was “just a bad case of the flu” which they believed.

Jason was always the only one that would talk to you. He was the only one that actually cared enough to make sure you were taking proper care of yourself and that you wouldn't have a repeat of what happened. He took you places, spent time with you and gave you advice. You even had a tradition where you'd always meet up at the manor's library every week at the same time that same day every week and just have a mini book club together. He always made time for you and never bailed on you.

So on your 18th birthday, he helped you move out. You managed to rent a small apartment in Star City with the money you had saved up. It wasn’t that close to the manor which was a good thing. The neighborhood wasn’t good but it wasn’t as bad as Gotham’s neighborhoods so you would be fine. You could handle yourself with your assassin training if needed. You also managed to get hired at a cafe which was about a five minutes walking distance from your apartment.

It had taken a while but eventually, you had packed all of your belongings into color coded containers and moved them into Jason’s car with his help. You didn’t say goodbye to anyone as you had no friends to say bye to and you knew that your so called “family” couldn’t care less about what you did with your life. ‘This is it, hopefully the last time I’ll ever be near this place.’ You thought. You didn’t plan on stepping foot in Gotham ever again after you left. It would bring back too many memories you prefer to keep buried away deep inside your mind.

The car ride to Star City was entertaining. You and Jason conversed the whole time, telling jokes and listening to his funny tales with the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually, a song you both loved came on and you both started yell-singing along to the lyrics. You wished those moments could be permanent. You were both so carefree and nothing else mattered besides having fun and enjoying yourselves.

You now stood in the doorway of your new apartment, admiring your new home. Jason and yourself had just finished unpacking all of your belongings. You really liked how it looked and thought you both did an amazing job at designing the place perfectly according to your style. Jason, unfortunately, had to leave in order to avoid raising suspicions. Once you both said your byes, he left you to your apartment.

Jason drove back home in silence. He hated to admit it but he would miss you dearly. You were always there for him and helped him with anything. You tried your best to always comfort him and make him feel better on his darkest days and it would always work. Somehow you seemed to always have the right words to say or knew exactly what to do to help him. Out of everyone he was closest to you. He assumed it was because he could relate to you the most. More so how you felt. He’d felt like the black sheep of the family before you came, and he was. When you came, you took that role from him. It pained him to see how much their insults would affect you, even if you were good at hiding it. He could just tell.

Jason made it back to the manor after a while and went straight to the library. He didn't want to deal with the others. After the whole hospital situation, he'd never really bother interacting with them. He hated how they treated you as if you didn’t exist and hated how much pain they had caused you and that they didn’t even care. He guessed that they'd probably be doing something for Damian's birthday and forgot that you were his twin. They probably couldn’t even remember that Damian had a twin.

He made it to the library and pulled out one of his favorite books. He’d read it so many times you’d often joke that he could probably recite the whole book by heart at this point. Sitting down in a chair, he started to read. However, he couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about what it would’ve been like if they treated you how they did Damian. The both of you were Bruce’s real children. You both even looked like clones of him! At first, Jason thought you would’ve been the favorite twin due to your personality. Even though you were twins, your personalities were polar opposites. You even refused to kill! You were trained by the League so why didn’t you kill as Damian did?

Jason knew you would benefit them greatly if you joined. You had self control, didn’t kill, could act perfectly, lie perfectly, do well under pressure, and not to mention your skills. Being raised by the League may have been torture, but you managed to gain incredible skills out of it. You could take on at least ten guys who doubled you in size and beat them within five minutes. You even bested Damian in spars and he was supposedly dubbed the “better twin” by Talia, so why hadn’t they let you join their nightly crusades like they had let Damian when the both of you first arrived?

Damian passed by your room but noticed something was off. He decided to take a look. He twisted the doorknob and pushed. The room which was once occupied by you now looked extremely plain and bare, stripped of all of its accessories. The only things left were the bed itself, multiple dressers, and a vanity. It looked as if it had been vacant the whole time. It might as well have been. Damian couldn’t really remember what it had looked like since he’s never paid much mind to it but he could tell there was a drastic difference. He knew that you disliked just leaving your room plain unlike himself and wanted at least something to make it look less boring.

He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Had you finally been kicked out by Bruce? Did you get shipped off to a boarding school like he had been suggesting to your father for years? He decided to go ask. He exited the room and closed the door behind him, taking off for Bruce’s office. Walking down the hall, he suddenly remembered that he had seen you leave with Jason. This meant that you were not at a boarding school like he had originally thought. But then why was your room vacant?

Instead of going to see Bruce, he decided to go see Jason and bring up the matter with him instead. He changed directions and headed to the library where he knew he’d find Jason. It was no secret that Jason was a book worm so Damian had a fifty percent chance of finding him there.

He entered the library and was immediately greeted with the sight of Jason sitting comfortably on a chair, legs crossed with a book opened in his hands. Jason didn’t bother to look up from his book as he spoke.

“What do you want Demon Spawn?”

“I’ve come to obtain the whereabouts of my sister.”

“You mean my sister?”

“She’s not your sister!” Damian exclaimed.

“Well I act more like a brother than you do.”

“Where is Y/N? Her whole room is bare.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“Just tell me, you imbecile!” Damian said, growing increasingly frustrated by Jason’s blunt answers.

“She’s not here.”

“Then where is she?”

“Not here.”

“Just tell me already Todd, I have no time for your foolish games!”

“She moved out.” Jason said, giving in.

“What?! Where.” Damian demanded.

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because I demand to know!”

“Okay and?”

“Tell me!”

“No.”

“Why not!”

“Because you don’t even care.”

“And you do?”

“Yes, I actually do Damian! I’m there for her when she needs me the most. I’m there for her while she’s watching you live the perfect life that she’s just a background character in! While you and the others ignore that she even exists! I’m there for her when she breaks down and has panic attacks! And what were you all doing to try and help her? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!” Jason snapped.

“Y/N’s fine, I know my twin!” Damian screamed.

“Do you even know what her favorite color is?” Jason questioned in a harsh tone.

“...” Was Damian’s reply.

“Exactly! You don’t! You and the others have never cared about her, so why all of a sudden do you care now? You don’t know anything about her so don’t act like you do!” Jason then stood up and walked out of the room in a fit of rage.

Damian stood there, shocked. Had Jason just refused to answer his question? He was about to follow him but decided against it. Why was Damian going to chase Jason down just for her? She was just an annoyance, a mistake, imperfect. He had been wanting to get rid of her for so long, so why doesn’t he feel relieved? Why does he feel guilty? He decided to stop dwelling on it and get on with life. He figured it would happen eventually if it hadn’t happened then.

---

It had been a year since that day. The day you left your old life behind and started a new life, a better one. One where you weren’t constantly ignored. One where you actually had more than one person care about you. Instead of seeing yourself as a failure and disappointment, you now saw yourself as an amazing person (which you always were). You had been going to a community college in Star City. You made many friends there and started up a music career with three of them.

Their names were f/n, f/n and f/n. You all started off by taking random gigs anywhere you could. You performed covers of songs and would receive standing ovations all the time. Seeing as your group was well liked, you decided to write and produce your own songs. At the age of 19, Y/G/N released their first album. It went viral within a day and everyone was talking about it. After a week, several articles were posted, praising your work. News Stations talked about all the records Y/G/N managed to break. People started to stream it like crazy, and you couldn’t be happier with all the positive feedback you were receiving.

You had been a Wayne once, meaning you had experience in dealing with the media. Since you had already been used to it, you knew you’d all eventually be invited to interviews. So, when you had received an email stating how N/S wanted a one on one interview with you, you weren’t sure how to feel. You weren’t looking forward to interviews with your whole group, let alone one where you would be alone. You knew how unfiltered interviewers could be and didn’t feel comfortable with it.

However, you decided it would be best to go. So here you were, sitting in front of the interviewer in an uncomfortable chair preparing for the interview to start. You had somehow managed to keep a smile plastered on your face the entire time while you were a nervous wreck on the inside. You hoped none of the questions would be sexist as they usually were towards women. However, you had no more time to think about that. You heard clicking, signaling that you were about to go live. Once you heard the last click, you knew you were live and the interview had begun.

“Hello everyone, welcome back to N/S. My name is Jerald Tangleberry and I’m here today with songwriter, singer, and celebrity, Y/N Wayne! How are you?”

You waved to the camera and then answered, “Hello everyone! I’m doing good, how about you?”

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking! So by now I’d assume everyone knows that you’ve released an album with your group. How does it feel to gain more fame?”

“It doesn’t feel any different. Fame wasn’t our goal when we released the album. It was to express ourselves.”

“Mhm, well Ms. Wayne, what inspired you to write songs?”

“Well we know people may be in a tough spot in their life right now and want them to know they aren’t alone.”

“That’s so true. Some fans have been speculating that every member has three songs that specifically relate to them since there are twelve songs in total and three of the songs have the same group member as the introduction part of the song. Is this true?”

“Yes, it is true.”

“So all three of your songs relate to family issues of some sort. Is that hinting that you have family issues?”

“Yes, actually. My family isn’t the best. They ignored me all the time, even when they weren't busy. The only person who didn’t was Jason.”

“You’re saying it in the past tense.”

“I moved out about a year ago. When I was around 14, I suffered from anorexia. My family would always ignore me since they were either busy doing work or hanging out with each other. The only family member that acknowledged me was Jason. I assumed it was because there was something wrong with me. I started to hate myself so much to the point of starvation. One day, I passed out right before a gala and my oldest brother Dick found me passed out on the floor. They took me to the hospital and when I woke up, Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian started fussing about how I’d ruin their image if the media knew what actually happened. They started to yell at me and told me how I was a useless burden. I started to have a panic attack so I kicked them out. Jason stayed behind with me and comforted me. Ever since then I made a planed to save enough money so I could move out when I turned 18, which I did.”

“Oh, wow. So Jason was the only one who interacted with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Looks like the Wayne family isn’t as perfect as they seem.”

“No family is actually perfect.”

“Did your family try contacting you at all after they found out about Y/G/N?”

“Not yet. They’re probably too busy or don’t care.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright, I got over it. What’s the next question.”

“Oh-” He cleared his throat and continued the interview. (So basically I don’t wanna bore you all lol)

---

Jason had woken up late into the afternoon that day. Patrol that morning had exhausted him. There was a huge breakout at Arkham they had assisted with. They successfully locked up every escapee, so today, Jason just wanted to relax until it would be time for patrol again. Even though he was exhausted, he knew he couldn’t take a break. The others wouldn’t and it would be unfair to them if he did.

He headed over to his couch with his phone and a bowl of popcorn in hand, ready to watch random movies the entirety of the day. He set down his phone on the coffee tables and grabbed the TV remote. When he turned on the TV, he almost dropped the popcorn and remote. You were sitting on a chair, giving an award winning smile while you politely answered the man’s questions. He was baffled. He didn’t know why you were being interviewed, let alone on TV at all! You made it clear you didn’t want to have any relations with your family any longer and you couldn’t stand publicity, so what were you doing?

He placed the bowl down and snatched his phone off the table. Unlocking his phone, he quickly dialed your phone number. However, he realized that the interview was live and that he would be interrupting it if he called you then. Deciding to wait, he placed his phone back down, picked up the bowl, and then got comfortable.

---

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nyctophilin · 4 years

Text

Fake affection | I

sweet anon: Can I request a dom! Han Jisung smut? Where he and the reader are fake dating because Jisung want's to make someone jealous but ends up fucking the reader instead? I love your writings so much!!

Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue

Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.

Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader

Word count: 4.5k

Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, eventual Smut

Warnings: swearing, mention of masturbation

A/N: Wow, so it looks like I am unable of making short fics, haha. I planed for this to be a one-shot but it’s already this long and I don’t want to bore you guys with long fics so I will make a second part and a third if needed but I doubt. I really hope you guys like this one. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Y/N was tapping her finger on the desk, her head resting in her palm. She was watching the professor walk around in front of the class explaining something but she wasn’t paying attention. Her mind was filled with thoughts about whether or not she was going to get the role.

Some people from her university that were majoring in Film Production had to write a script for a short movie and the best five got chosen to be produced. Initially, she believed that only Theater and Film Majors could participate at the auditions but the administration of the school made an announcement one morning informing them that everyone could take part in the audition process. That meant she had to deal with more competitors for the role she wanted.

Initially, Y/N was the only one who wanted to audition for the main role of one of the movies since people didn’t really catch its concept that well. When the audition day finally came, one Modern Dance major showed up out of nowhere and auditioned as well. The apparition of that particular character made her blood boil with anger.

Her competitor for the role was none other than Mina, her so-called enemy. They weren’t enemies in the real sense of the word. They just simply didn’t click with one another and silently agreed a long time ago to ignore each other. They weren’t pulling childish stunts on each other, they didn’t speak each other's names unless necessary, they didn’t try to win each other in grades or parties or body counts. They were just mutually ignoring one another. And everything was fine until she showed up there.

Y/N wasn’t going to lie and say that Mina wasn’t good. Her performance wasn’t exceptional but for someone that has never done that before, she was fairly good. That had her worried about her chances of getting chosen.

When the bell finally rang ending her suffering she got up in the split of a second and left the room. She could not bear to hear any more of the professor’s babbling. Her boots let out quiet thuds every time they touched the concrete floors. She found herself in front of the announcement board but the paper that was supposed to tell her if she got chosen or not, was missing. Thinking to herself that they probably will put it up later she turned on her heels and made her way towards the cafeteria.

She met her friend Hayoon there and they sat down at a table situated in the centre of the cafeteria. They talked about how they had been up until then and Hayoon complained about one of her classes and how she’s going to fail it.

The chatter in the cafeteria died down when the door was slammed open and Mina stomped in, a bitter expression on her face. “I can not believe that they made me a stunt double! What does that even mean?” Her voice was louder than it should have been as she addressed her friends. Her intention was most probably to attract attention.

A smirk crept on Y/N’s face as she realised that she did, in fact, get the main role. She gave her friend a suggestive eyebrow raise as she slowly took the chopstick to her mouth. Her face dropped when she heard the stomping approaching her. “Hey, loser, what’s a stunt double?” Mina’s voice was scratching her ears. How she managed to sound like one of those toys for dogs sometimes, she’ll never understand.

“I can’t believe you’ve auditioned for a role without knowing what a stunt double is.” Y/N rolled her eyes at the other girl and a few people from around them chuckled. Mina’s face caught a crimson colour as the embarrassment settled in.

“Haha, you are so funny!” It was clear by now that the girl was trying to mask her flustered form by trying to embarrass Y/N back.

The truth was that she didn’t mean to make fun of her. She just let her first thoughts leave her mouth. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” A sigh left her lips. “A stunt double is a person that executes all the dangerous or action scenes for the main actor so they don’t get injured. Stunt doubles are usually gymnasts, people that know martial arts and all that jazz. They probably chose you because of your dance background.”

“I can’t believe it. Not only they didn’t give me the role, but they are also going to use me to protect you?” Mina had an annoyed expression.

“Oh please! Did you really think they were going to choose you? You entered that room without even knowing the concept and somehow managed to get the feel right a couple of times. Meanwhile, some of us actually prepared for that audition.” Y/N was fed up with Mina’s princess behaviour. Always thinking that everything is rightfully hers and expecting everyone to kiss her ass. All that just because her father was donating a big sum of money to the university every term. They are donations at the end of the day and she should not be expecting special treatment just for that.

Mina’s face became a crimson red for the second time in ten minutes and she stomped away from Y/N’s table. The few people that were watching them averted their eyes when Y/N took a look around.

From the corner of the cafeteria, someone was watching them with a smirk on their face. Oh, how he got just the perfect idea.

Y/N sat in the second closest row to the professor. She was in “Canto class” as she liked to call it. It was one of the optional classes she chose to take that year. It wasn’t a compulsory class for Theater and Film majors since you don’t necessarily have to know how to sing to be an actress but she took it anyway because she thought it would be fun. And so far it was.

A loud bang invaded her left ear and she turned to find Han Jisung having his back to her and chatting with his friends that were seated a few rows behind them. She raised her eyebrow but didn’t question it. It wasn’t like the seat was occupied and she definitely had nothing against him sitting next to her. He probably just wanted to pay more attention since he and his friends are always distracted during class.

Y/N turned back to her stuff and opened her notebook to take another look at the notes from last class. Soon after the professor entered the classroom and the chatter died down.

She was vigorously writing in her notebook everything the professor was explaining to them. Suddenly she felt a touch on her left elbow and stopped for a second. She immediately resumed her writing, convinced that he probably did that by mistake. Not even a minute later she felt another touch on her elbow this time more evident. She ignored it again not paying much mind to it. Jisung’s elbow collided with hers causing her to push her notebook and scribble on it.

She snapped her head towards him and felt anger overcome her when she noticed the smirk on his face. “What?” She whispers yelled in his direction.

“Hi!” He did a short wave of his hand in her direction and she clenched her jaw. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply before going back to her note-taking. She had only five minutes of peace before he poked her side again. She smacked his hand away from her and continued to mind her own business.

Throughout the class, Jisung kept bothering her and trying to talk to her despite her obvious wish to let her take notes. When the bell rang she got up quickly, her blood boiling and left the room in a hurry hoping she could lose Jisung on the busy halls. As she was hurriedly making her way between the sea of people she felt an arm going over her shoulders and she crashed with the owner of the arm.

“Why are you in such a hurry babe?” Jisung’s voice rang in her ear as they were practically glued to each other. She grabbed his hand and swung his arm away from her shoulders.

“For the love of God, what do you want from me Han Jisung?” Exasperation was present in her voice as she threw him an ugly look.

She couldn’t guess what he needed from her to annoy her to that extent. They were acquaintances and nothing more. They knew each other from that one class they shared and the longest interaction they had was when the professor prepared an interactive class once and they had to work in groups of five.

He was the university’s “heartthrob” as people liked to call him. Y/N personally thought that that title should be given to Hwang Hyunjin who was majoring in Modern Dance. He was more mature than the rest of his friends, he was friendly with everyone and wasn’t pulling pranks on innocent people to entertain some brainless creatures. But who was she to oppose the masses?

On top of doing all those things, Jisung was also in a relationship with Mina. Every time they are together they will target someone and will start making fun of them. More Mina than Jisung but he was still entertaining her actions and that made him as guilty as she was.

“I need to ask you something. Or better, make you a proposal.” He winked at her and she felt an uncomfortable shiver run through her. How disgusting.

“Ok, and what is it?” She threw him an expectant look and he started looking around.

“Let’s talk outside where there are fewer people. You got a free period, right?” Confusion made its way on her face.

“How do you know that? Are you weirdo following me?” She has never talked with him as friends and they share only one class. How on earth would he know her schedule?

“What? No! I see you hanging out around the university all the time after our class.” She rolled her eyes at his answer and gestured her hand towards the closest exit out of the building signalling him to lead the way.

Very soon they were seated on a bench under a tree somewhere behind the university. It was her first time coming there. Y/N usually liked to remain at the front of the building since couples usually liked to come there and make out sometimes even fuck.

“I think we should start dating.” He blurted out and she froze for a second before jumping to her feet startling the man.

“I knew you were fucking weird. I’m leaving!” What in the actual fuck did she think when she came here. For a second she expected a real conversation but Jisung’s main skills were flirting and making bad jokes. She set her expectations way too high for that conversation.

She picked her bag from the bench and started leaving only to have Jisung grab her wrist and stop her. “Wait, let me explain. I swear you’ll understand better after.” Y/n wanted to turn and leave but the puppy dog eyes he gave her made her stay and listen to him. Now, don’t get her wrong, his expression didn’t soften her but if he was desperate enough to try the puppy eyes on her then it must be important to him.

She plopped down on the bench and waited for him to start talking. “Look, I’m pretty sure you know Mina. And I know you two aren’t on great terms. I say we date so you can get back at her for all the things she has done to you.” He raised his eyebrows at her and pursed his lips.

Y/N was the one that raised her eyebrow next as she leaned her head to the side. “Aren’t you and Mina dating?”

“Obviously not.” Jisung used a tone that pissed Y/N off. A tone that said ‘It was so obvious, how can you not know?’ and she didn’t like it one bit.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I must have read the signs the wrong way. I mean, it's not like you are always together and you carry her backpack around and you hang out outside of school six days out of seven and kiss before classes and make out behind the university probably right on this bench.”

A smirk appeared on Jisung’s face. “Who’s following who now?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. Mina’s voice is so annoying I could hear her every time she talked. When I would turn to see what was up now you two were most times engaged in some sort of PDA.” She spoke fast trying to prove that she wasn’t following him. She didn’t know why she felt the need to do that but the thought of Jisung thinking that she has some sort of interest in him was terrifying. He completely humiliated the last “unpopular” girl that confessed her feelings to him and at that moment the last thing she needed was for him to go around saying she is a stalker.

“Well, we are getting there. I asked her out and she said that she’ll love to but it’s too fun to tease me. When I asked her ‘What if I get a girlfriend?’ she told me I can not find anyone better for me than her. When I saw you fighting in the cafeteria earlier I knew I found my perfect girl. Not only are you hot, but she also hates you.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at his words.

“Hot?” Her tone was untrusting as this was the first time someone from uni had said that to her.

“Yeah. You didn’t think that guys came to last year’s theatre spectacles because they were actually interested in theatre, right?” A laugh left his mouth at her dumbfounded face as she registered his words. A blank expression adorned her face immediately after trying not to seem so surprised.

“Well, not anymore.” She let her tongue trace her bottom lip before biting the flesh. “Ok, so tell me what you actually want us to do.” Uneasiness settled inside Jisung as he watched her bored face.

“Well, I mean what I said. We should date. Or fake dating if you will. That way I can make Mina jealous and push her to run into my arms. I bet she can’t stand seeing me with you for too long.” He looked into her eyes hopefully thinking that maybe he convinced her but his hope was quickly shattered when she opened her mouth.

“What are you? Five? I don’t want to get back at her and I have absolutely no reason to help you in your sick plan. I’m out of here!” Once again she picked up her bag to leave only for Jisung to grab her wrist and stop her, again.

“Please Y/N! I’m desperate. I’ve been trying to date her for a year and a half already.” That was pathetic. She had absolutely no reason to help him. None at all. But something pushed her to stay and accept his offer. Maybe she could take advantage of the situation.

Turning her head towards her she tried to keep a straight face as best as she could. “What do I get out of it?”

Jisung’s face brightened instantly at her question and he held her hand with both of his. “Anything you want. If it’s possible I’ll do it.” His eyes were pouring into hers and a stupid sparkle was present in them.

“I guess you were going to do that anyway but I want you to present me to your friends.” The same bored expression that she had on for almost the entirety of their conversation was adorning her face. Jisung was amazed at the lack of emotions she managed to show but she was an actress. Maybe she’s just good at her job.

“Why? Do you have a crush on any of them?” A smirk was enveloping his facial features and he had a teasing tone. Y/N rolled her eyes at his comment.

“No. Some of them seem like really interesting people but their only defect was hanging out with you. Now that I have to hang out with you too I might as well start talking to them.” She shook his hands off hers before putting it in her front pocket. “Now I have to go to class cause my free period is almost over. See you later, babe!” She winked at him before turning around and making her way to her next class.

The next day she met with Jisung in front of the cafeteria so they could walk in together and “announce” their relationship. Somehow he got hold of her number and they texted the night prior about the terms of their little deal. She felt like laughing when she saw how serious he was about it. If he really did end up dating Mina she’ll be convinced that both of them are idiots.

His arm was over her shoulders as they walked through the tables. Multiple people were staring at them but she decided to ignore them. Upon reaching the table she placed her tray down and took a seat. The people at the table were looking confused at one another and some were throwing Jisung questioning looks.

“Everyone, meet my girlfriend.” He spoke gesturing with a hand towards her. She smiled at them and waved her hand, muttering a soft ‘Hi!’.

One of them, who she recognised to be Lee Minho, a Modern Dance major cleared his throat. “Hey. It’s nice to meet you.” He had an awkward smile on. “What are you majoring in?”

“Yeah, I don’t recall seeing you around campus.” Seo Changbin, a Music Production major added.

“Oh, I…” She started talking but a puff coming from her left stopped her.

“Seriously dude? You share a class. She’s L/N Y/N from your Theory and Improvisation class.” The voice belonged to Hwang Hyunjin and she felt a funny feeling in her stomach at the realisation that he knows her. Everyone around the table was throwing him weird looks.

“You are right but how do you know that? I’m pretty sure you don’t take that class.” There was a trace of embarrassment in her voice.

“I don’t but sometimes when I wait for those guys outside of the classroom I see you walking out.” He said that with nonchalance taking a bite from his food.

“And how do you know her? She’s not a Music Production major otherwise we would have known. And she’s not a Dance major either otherwise Minho and Felix would have known about her as well.”Changbin’s tone was almost provoking as if Hyunjin had done something bad and he was about to reveal it.

“She’s a Theatre and Film major. Last year when we went to all those theatre spectacles to support Jeongin I was actually paying attention to the plays. She had either the main role or the lead. I remember her being really good.” She felt her cheeks heat at his comment.

“Thank you!” She threw him a smile. However, she got ignored as Lee Felix started talking.

“Do you know her Jeongin?” She somehow felt offended by his question. Maybe that wasn’t his intention but he should have used a different tone.

“Of course I do. We share almost all of our classes and last year we worked on multiple plays together.” Annoyance was present in his voice caused by his friends' ignorance.

She knew Jeongin from the first day. He was the first to speak to her although they didn’t exactly become friends. They kept on working on plays together throughout the entirety of the first year of college but they kept everything mostly professional since they both had their own group of friends and she kind of disliked most of his friends.

“Then how come you never talk about her?” Now, wasn’t Changbin an annoying one? She rolled her eyes discreetly at his question.

“Because we are not the best of friends. Why don’t you talk about Kim Gina from your degree?” The youngest question was a good one. They were acquaintances and barely knew something about each other. What was he supposed to talk about?

“Gina is not hot. What am I supposed to talk about?” The older male said calmly with a shrug of his shoulders.

The water she was just drinking got stuck in her throat and she started coughing violently. Jisung started hitting her back repeatedly trying to help her swallow. When she finally calmed down she looked at him annoyed.

“Who she is, is not important. What’s important is that she is my girlfriend” he gave Changbin a side look ”and you have to accept that. Stop talking about her like she is not sitting right in front of you.” A few of them raised their hands in defeat while some of them averted their eyes. Minho and Changbin rolled their eyes.

She felt her blood pressure spike up at their action. She remembered why she never wanted to talk to any of them. Arrogant pricks.

“Ok, Mister protective boyfriend. Just tell us when you break up.” Minho took a bite of his food done with the younger man’s antics. Everyone knew that he was in love with Mina. The moment she shows some interest in him he would probably leave this one in a heartbeat.

Y/N sucked in a breath discreetly. He really got her worked up and she hated it. She put an arm around Jisungs shoulders and yanked him towards her, his face close to her chest. With her other hand, she grabbed the sides of his face making him look up at her and forcefully pursing his lips.

“Break up? Do you wanna break up with me, babe?” Y/N’s voice was mocking as if she was talking with a child. Jisung swallowed hard before shaking his head. She smiled at his response and used the hand from around his shoulders to ruffle his hair. “That’s what I thought.” She placed a short kiss on his lips before releasing him and turning back to her food.

Everyone at the table was looking at both of them shocked, especially Minho and Changbin. She wanted to let a proud smile escape her but she controlled herself.

For the rest of the lunch, she decided not to engage in any more discussions with Jisung’s friends. She continued eating her food and listened to them talking about things that didn’t involve her, occasionally responding to Hayoon’s texts.

She was the first one to get up, impatient to go to her next class and not have to see them. “Bye guys. It was lovely meeting you!” She smiled at them, a smile half true because she did like some of them. “Bye babe. See you later!” She grabbed the sides of his face again placing another kiss on his lips before taking her empty tray and leaving them alone.

The men all watched her as she made her way out of the cafeteria. When she closed the door behind her they all burst into laughter. Jisung was biting the inside of his cheek irked by their action. When the laughter stopped, Seungmin that was sitting next to him put his hand on his shoulder.

“I absolutely adore your girlfriend. She knows how to keep her ‘babe’ in check I see.” Seungmin tried cupping his face as Y/N did but Jisung slapped his hand away.

“Are you her good boy, Jisungie? Does she give you rewards if you listen to her?” Minho cooed at him and Jisung held back an insult.

“Shut the fuck up. It’s not like that. She surprised me as well. Who the fuck knew she was going to do that?” When he proposed the whole fake dating thing to her he thought it would be easier. Looking at it now he can’t understand why he thought that. He saw the way her fights with Mina unfold and he knew she was an actress which meant that she was probably either crazy confident or really good at faking it. For some reason, he thought she would be easier to tease and control but it would be a lie if he said it didn’t intrigue him. He liked a challenge and if the prize was Mina he would try his best.

“And you man” Chan spoke for the first time “what the fuck was that? Do you know her entire biography?” He was looking at Hyunjin who rolled his eyes.

“I told you I paid attention to last year’s plays. On top of that, she’s hot. I remember that after one spectacle I and the guys from my dance group at the time talked about her for like a month. She was so..” The man let out a groan and threw his head back trying to explain what he meant.

“Sure, tell me more. Did you masturbate to the thought of my girlfriend? Perhaps got any wet dreams about her?” Jisung commented, raising an eyebrow.

Hyunjin winked at him as a smirk made its way on his face. Some of the guys simultaneously let out disgusted sounds at his gesture.

“But how did this whole thing happen? I can’t remember a moment when you talked about her or when you were together.” Felix’s deep voice rang making everyone pay attention to him.

Changbin suddenly let a gasp out and dramatically covered his mouth. “Yesterday our little Jisungie sat next to her in Theory and Improvisation and when the class ended he ran after her. I think he might have had a secret crush!” The older man teased.

“Yeah, but she looked really annoyed with him. Hence why she sprinted out of the class. Why would she accept to date him if she looked like she’d rather listen to Mr Jung talk about the first piano ever invented.” Chan intervened making Jisung shrug his shoulders.

“She was annoyed with me but what can I say? I’m so charming she couldn’t refuse me.” He leaned back in his chair putting his arms over the back of the chair.

“I think she did it out of pity. When she realized you’ve been trying to get Mina for a year and a half now she probably felt so bad for you she decided to sacrifice herself so you look less like a loser.” Hyunjin said his tone way to serious to be a joke.

Jisung threw the man a deadly stare. “At least I didn’t masturbate to the thought of her like a fucking virgin.” He spat in the other man’s face.

“Touche.”

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esperosisdoeswriting · 3 years

Text

Part 6 of Deserve Better

I swear the more of this series I post the more people want me to write more of it lol. But here is another part of Deserve Better, the longest part over all I’m pretty sure, I think the rest were like 400-500 words while this one is 800+. Either way, enjoy!

Original Previous Next

"There you are! We've been looking all over for you!" [Leader] exclaimed when [Hero] rushed out to confront the intruders. [Hero] was both surprised and unsurprised to come face to face with their old team after they had run to investigate the commotion. On the other hand, their team looked annoyed, apart from [Youngest], who just looked worried.

"You were actually looking for me this time? Thank the heavens, it only took you 4 weeks to find me. Let me guess, you started looking yesterday?" [Hero] scowled, trying to keep their voice calm, but seeing their team again after so long drew up so many emotions they thought they had resolved.

"A week ago. Are you seriously this bad at escaping [Villain]? Also, what the hell is that god-awful costume you're wearing?" [Other Hero] snapped back. [Hero] felt their blood begin to boil,

"This is my new suit, I designed it myself, and I think it looks great on me, so does [Villain], way better than that stuffy, tacky piece of crap you force us to wear!" [Hero] growled, clenching their fist in rage as [Leader] raised an eyebrow.

"You designed a suit with [Villain]?" [Leader] asked,

"Yes. I did, and do you wanna know why?"

"Please enlighten us," [Other Hero] rolled their eyes while [Leader] stared them down, deadly serious.

"Because I've had enough of being treated like a... how did you put it [Other Hero]? a 'background character'? Yeah, I'm pretty sure thats what you said," [Hero] spat at them, [Other Hero] actually had the nerve to look surprised. "So I've decided to partner up with someone who actually deserves me and doesn't brush away all my hard work and call me unimportant!"

"You're teaming up with [Villain]?" [Youngest] breathed in horror.

"Yes, I am." [Hero] replied confidently, but they felt their demeanor soften as [Youngest] looked at them, completely crushed.

[Other Hero] and [Leader] exchanged a look, then both charged at their former teammate.

"Please stop this! Let's talk this out!" [Youngest] screamed, but [Leader] and [Other Hero] ignored them

[Hero] was prepared for this but still felt a twinge of hurt when they saw the anger in their eyes. [Hero] dropped into a fighting stance, they knew they couldn't win against both of them, but they weren't going down without a fight.

Suddenly, [Leader] and [Other Hero] were thrown to the side with enough force to both slam into the adjacent wall, causing [Youngest] to gasp in surprise.

"My my, aren't you two up past your bedtime?" [Villain] taunted them as they confidently strode into the room and wrapped an arm around [Hero]'s waist.

"You..." [Leader] seathed,

"Yes me. Honestly, I'm just as surprised as you are that I showed up. It's almost like you broke into my lair or something." [Villain] smirked, but [Hero] could feel their anger through the way their arm shook around their waist.

"It doesn't matter," [Leader] stood up, "The three of us can take you both down,"

"Three? Oh yes, I suppose [Youngest] is over there, aren't they?" [Villain] glanced over at [Youngest], who was practically vibrating in distress as tears streamed down their face. [Villain] huffed in dismissal.

"You know how I can tell that [Hero] was the brains of your little operation right now?" [Villain] asked, [Leader] narrowed their eyes

"They're not, I am. But I'll entertain you, how?"

[Hero] felt [Villain]'s grip on them tighten then loosen quickly, their smirk souring for a moment before returning to its former glory,

"Because, [Hero] would have told you that breaking into my lair was a horrible idea, for precisely this reason-" [Villain] snapped their fingers. Suddenly the group was surrounded by the [Villain]'s henchmen, guns raised at the three. What was worse, however, was the ceiling-mounted turrets that slowly lowered from their hidden compartments.

[Youngest] collapsed to the floor, sobbing, as [Other Hero] and [Leader] looked to each other before slowly lifting their hands up.

[Villain] turned to [Hero], "What do you want to do with them? Their you're old burdens after all" [Villain] emphasized the word burdens, ensuring that [Other Hero] and [Leader] heard.

"Would you be willing to let them go if they promised not to come back?" [Hero] asked softly. While they held a lot of resentment toward their old team, they didn't want to see them dead. And the thought of them rotting away in a dungeon, especially [Youngest], made their heartache.

"You really are too nice," [Villain] smiled fondly at them before turning to their old team,

"If you promise to leave and never come back, [Hero] has found the mercy in their heart to let you go, but if you do..." [Villain] grinned maliciously, "I'll show you exactly what I think should be done with you. Sound fair?"

"Yes, yes! I promise!" [Youngest] sobbed immediately, [Other Hero] and [Leader] grumbling in affirmation a few moments later.

"Good, if you fine people wouldn't mind seeing these good-for-nothing heroes oust, I'd appreciate it." [Villain] told their henchmen as they lead [Hero] away from the scene.

#writing snippet #hero #villain #hero x villain #protective villain #team whump #bad team #villains and heroes #heroes and villains #esper snippet #snippet #Deserve better series

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imomomi · 4 years

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Meeting the MSBY Black Jackals

AN: This is a repost of an old story I wrote as requested by @ericaelind. Also, this story actually inspired FIO, so it’s super sweet someone remembered it. 🥺🥺🥺

Y/N leaned against the wall outside the locker rooms, pulling her phone out to flick through Instagram. She wasn’t one to post much on her public account, but her private one was filled with photos dating back to high-school. Huffing lightly in amusement at a video of a baby babbling gibberish to his father, she jumped at the sudden onset of noise coming out of the locker room. A blonde popped up beside her, resting one arm on the wall as he leaned over her. Miya Atsumu. The bane of Kiyoomi’s existence, but secretly his favorite teammate.

“Who are ya?” he asked.

“L/N Y/N,” she answered. When he didn’t say anything, she looked back down at her phone, sending a quick message to her mother. Atsumu lingered, looking at her curiously. Shooting him a look—what did he want—she sighed loudly.

“Look, fangirls aren’t really allowed around the locker-room. Just head down the hall. If security sees ya, you’ll be in trouble.”

“There’s a bit of a misunderstanding, Miya-san.”

“Seriously sweetheart, beat it,” he said, smiling broadly. Y/N could feel her annoyance grow. Kiyoomi was lingering on purpose—was he really going to let her deal with this on her own. Normally, he’d take a few minutes to change, but he had already been gone 15 minuets.

“I’m not here for you.”

“That’s nice but you still don’t have the right to hang ‘round our locker room. Think about how uncomfortable the other boys will be.” His mocking grin had her flushing at the implication.

“Yoomi told me to wait here. He said he would only be a minuet,” shuffling slightly to get away from his towering form, she bowed lowly, “I apologize if I cause any discomfort.”

“Yoomi? Who the hell is that?”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

“Omi-omi told ya to wait here? What drugs are you on?”

“I wish I knew,” she muttered to herself. Another person appeared over his shoulder and Y/N shifted farther away. Perhaps, this was a bad idea, she thought. Staring up at Bokuto Koutarou’s grinning face, she decided it was probably for the best that she didn’t know any of Kiyoomi’s teammates. There were only two of them so far and the air around her already felt chaotic.

“Who’s this?” Bokuto asked, eagerly.

“Some fangirl. Said Omi-omi told her to wait here.”

“A fan!” Bokuto shouted, shoving Atsumu out of the way, “Do you wanna a picture? Though, you know you’re not supposed to sneak around here.”

“Umm, I really think that there’s a mis-“

“Who is that?” Hinata asked. Y/N ‘s face was an impossible shade of red at this point as she was jostled by Bokuto into a photo she didn’t even want. Hinata bounded up to her excitedly, ignoring Atsumu’s warnings that they should call security and pulled out a marker asking if she wanted an autograph. She didn’t even know what he would sign. She was dressed in all black, nothing but her phone and car keys in her pocket.

Hinata reached for her hand, pen hovering over her skin before he shrugged and signed his name.

“This is my first game you know,” Hinata said bouncing on his heels, “I didn’t think we’d be meeting fans already.”

“I’m not a fan,” she muttered. The stark kanji of his name smeared across her skin. She rubbed at it, shuddering as it remained without a smudge on her hand. A hand grabbed hers, turning it over to inspect the new mark. Kiyoomi.

“You really are all idiots,” he hissed, turning to glower at his teammates. “Can’t keep your hands to yourself at all, can you?”

“It’ll wash out,” she said, softly. He eyed the kanji with a heavy glare as if it personally offended him. Knowing Kiyoomi, some aspect of it probably did. That or he wished it had been him to sign his name instead.

“With bleach, maybe,” he mused. She tugged her hand from his grip, reaching over to a frozen Hinata and snatching the marker from his hand. She scribbled over the mark, crossing out Hinata’s name with a grimace.

“Don’t you have alcohol wipes or something?”

“In my locker,” he answered.

“Go get them.”

“I was serious about the bleach. You’re already contaminated. I can’t have you coming home like this.”

“I swear to god, Kiyoomi, I’ll sneeze on you,” she jeered.

“What the hell is going on?” Atsumu asked, looking between them in near horror. Y/N scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. Maybe she wasn’t making the best first impression, but she had already been accused of being a fangirl, harassed into a picture, and forcibly given an autograph she didn’t even want. No wonder Kiyoomi had been hesitant to introduce her to his new teammates. In college, they’d known each for years before they actually got together and she’d known the players on his team when they had been just friends.

“Nothing, I’m going to the bathroom to wash this off. Good luck with the game.”

“She’s my fiancée,” Kiyoomi said, blocking her path of escape. “She wanted to meet you all, but she was overseas for business and then Hinata came, so the timing was never right.”

There’s a collective choking from his teammates that are gathered in the hallway. She could feel the amusement radiating from Kiyoomi. Most likely he had kept it hidden just to enjoy this moment. His sense of humor often involved sharp wit and upending people’s expectations. This mess served him perfectly, a carefully guarded fact about his life, his unwitting fiancée making it worse, and the general stupidity of his teammates. There was a desperate need to laugh bubbling up in his chest.

“Bullshit,” Atsumu called out.

“Woah, Omi-san, she’s really pretty,” Hinata gushed over Atsumu’s disbelief. Y/N flushed under the sudden attention thrown her way, waving awkwardly at Hinata and Bokuto.

“Nice to meet you, Bokuto-san, Hinata-san,” she muttered, bowing shallowly.

“Bullshit, ya must’ve hired her or something,” Atsumu cut in, pointing an accusing finger in her direction. There wasn’t any real heat behind the words.

“Gross,” she and Kiyoomi said in unison, cringing at the idea. Y/N raised her left hand, holding it out so Atsumu could inspect the diamond ring. Atsumu jerked her hand forward, inspecting it with a level of detail she didn’t think he was capable of. He shot Kiyoomi and impressed look. Y/N didn’t have the heart to tell him that the ring was her grandmother’s. The first time Kiyoomi had proposed she said no—not because she didn’t want to marry him, but the question was asked so suddenly, she though that he was joking. His proposal had been delivered with a straight face in the midst of them watching some American crime drama.

“Couldn’t wait until after the game to spring this on us?”

“Don’t think too hard, Miya,” Kiyoomi said.

“You’ve been hiding a secret girlfriend for the last two months,” Atsumu said.

“In his defense, it’s not really a secret. Everyone in college knew we were together,” Y/N interjected. If they looked through Kiyoomi’s social media pages, she was somewhere there in the background of his photos caught doing something stupid or just generally ugly. According to Kiyoomi those were the best kinds of photos.

“I didn’t even go to college,” Atsumu protested.

“I can tell,” Y/N said. Kiyoomi snorted behind her, turning the sound into a cough as soon as everyone turned to look at him.

“Wait, Omi-kun is getting married. We’re going to the wedding, right?” Bokuto shouted, bouncing on his heels.

“I wanna be Best Man,” Hinata said, matching the excitement. Hinata was the newest addition to the Black Jackals. Fresh off the plane from a two-year stint as a beach volleyball player in Brasil, he’d impressed everyone at tryouts. From what Kiyoomi had said, he was a beast on the court.

“No. I don’t even know you,” Kiyoomi shot down immediately. “I met you a month ago.”

“I’m the obvious choice,” Atsumu muttered, eyes still narrowed in her direction, “He’s known me longest.”

“I don’t think beating you at nationals in high school counts,” Y/N said, laughing lightly.

“I guess, I should say sorry to ya,” he muttered, “Didn’t know that Omi-omi had a girl at home. I’ve been messing with him since he joined the team.”

“I’ve been messing with him since I met him, so I’m sure he likes you better than me at this point.”

“I hate both of you,” Kiyoomi muttered, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. His chin rested on top of her head. The weight of him was a familiar and pleasant sensation. Today was the first game of the season. Kiyoomi had spent the last two days watching videos of his opponents, trying to figure out their playing styles and ticks. He was nervous, she could feel it in the slight tremor to his body, but the hug told her something else too. Normally, Kiyoomi shied away from public affection. Crowds made him anxious, interviews were something he avoided, and he was laughingly awkward when it came to interacting with fans. The fact that he felt comfortable enough around his teammates to show the softer side of himself, that craved touch as any person did, filled her with warmth.

Seeing his teammates teasing him loosened the knot of worry she normally carried with her. They’d take care of him when she couldn’t.

#kiyoomi sakusa x reader #sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x you #haikyuu reader

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

Text

It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014. But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen? Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak). And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination. How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.

#star wars #star wars meta #heir to the jedi #nakari kelen #luke skywalker #fridging #it's cold in that fridge #star wars expanded universe #nucanon

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bedtimebrain · 3 years

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EXO Baekhyun: Speedpost!

(while i've been having fun with all these drawings in my past few posts, i must admit i almost puked when i looked at this one as i was uploading today. for the sake of our eyes will nicely put a stop to this soon :,D)

Char: baek x u Genre: military baek, fluff!, needy (?) reader Description: you thought you could do just fine with baek in the military, but it seems like you actually need him a little more than you think Word Count: 1.3k Track for feels: Avril Lavigne, Wish you were here

You honestly thought you were the kind of strong and independent girlfriend. The kind that would do absolutely fine when your boyfriend enlists.

But truth be told, you barely scrape past this week, and it has only been a week since baek enlisted. Doubts, doubts. Could you even hold it together for another 2 more weeks? You remember just the day before baekhyun's enlistment, he deliberately teased you with fake sobbings,

'babe, will you cry if i'm not around? you might miss me so much it's too much for you to bear right? if you..'

you simply scoffed and cut him off

'ya, byun baekhyun, i'm afraid i would have to disappoint you. i am very much a busy and independent woman. i will do just fine with you enlisting. plus we will probably get to call once in a while, i can live with that'

you smugly folded your arms, sending an attack to his ego

In hindsight, the attack went out like a boomerang and came right back at you. You can already imagine baekhyun playfully gloating

'Strong independent woman, jagiya?'

Perhaps it might all be better if a wreck package hadn't self-invited itself to your life this week.

First of all, your boss decided it was a good idea to throw your proposal back in your face. Next, your very considerate across-the-globe client planned a conference call close to sleeping time in korea. As if it all couldn’t be worse, you overheard a juicy conversation your colleagues were having about you in the washroom.

All these just made you want to run right to baekhyun. To lie on his lap, throw punches at him and hear him flame your life perpetrators with the most nonsensical phrases.

During the day, all you looked forward to was your phonecalls with baek. But who knew even a phonecall date would be as hard to fulfil as climbing mount Everest.

Apart from the first day, every other day the past week was met full of hiccups. Either you were caught up with conference calls and work, or baek was cutting too close to lights out for a long call.

You call it baek crumbs, yes you were surviving on baek crumbs.

There was still sometime left before your phonecall date tonight. You yanked open your refrigerator in search of your alternative destress mechanism -- chocolates. You sighed at your depleting chocolate stash, physically indicating how badly you needed baek.

Back on the sofa, you swallowed down Freddo and you plugged in your earphones like an emo teen, randomly choosing a song radio to play.

As if Siri heard your inner thoughts, the radio chose to play Avril Lavinge's Wish You Were Here. Before you know it, you were a crying mess.

It's not even like you guys were breaking up, but the lyrics were literally stabbing into your heart But right now i wish you were here.... Damn, what i'd do to have you here ...

You were pathetically brawling away when baekhyun's call came in. Suppressing your heavy sobbing, you picked up the phone after a couple of rings at this untimely moment.

'Jagiya, i've 15minutes today! How have you been? You wouldn't believe what happen today! Jagi? Are you there?' His animated voice died down and he held a pause.

'Are you crying? y/n why are you crying? what happened?' you hear a hint of panic in his voice

Baekhyun was fast at catching on things, your quietness, shakey breathes and suppressed hitches were more than enough to indicate a red flag to him.

You had intended for tonight's call to be a fun and not your emotional health hotline help. Taking a deep breath, you tried to put up a front, and with your most stable voice, replied him

'ya, what crying? so what happened with you today?'

'ya, stop bullshitting me. you're crying, what's up with you?' turning all serious, he wasn't going to let you dodge this

you bit down hard on your lip, you couldn't get a syllable out of your throat, afraid the moment you did so you would break down completely.

'damn it, i would totally break the law just to bring a camera phone in so you cannot hide your face from me. tell me please?' he sounded urgent and frustrated, but gentle in asking you to tell him

'baekhyun ah, i can't do this anymore. i thought i could, but why is it so difficult' your voice cracked and you burst into hot tears

'i haa-d such a bad week and i just want..want.. to tell you about it every night. but our time together is always so short that by the time it got to my turn to tell you about my day.........the call ends. and.. and.. i don't know..... what to do about all these on my own..with--without you' you were wailing and possibly incomprehensible by now

'ya..y/n-ie, mi an hae. jeongmal mi an. i just realised i hadn't even heard about how your day went this entire week. i always got so carried away telling you about me, i wasn’t considerate enough.'

Almost running out of tears, you regain your composure quickly

‘Jagi, I’m not blaming you. Please don’t take it that way, it’s just.. I really wish you were around.’

The call suddenly went silent on the other sides, then you heard some low shouts in the background

‘Baekhyunie?’ You guess it was probably an early roll call again

A few moments later, baekhyun was back on the call.

‘Jagi, I’m sorry, I’ll probably have to go soon, the sergeant’s checking my barracks next.

Anyway, I actually had something I wanted to give you the night before I enlisted, but you insisted you were an independent and busy woman....’

His sentence was left broken with a sudden series of clattering like his phone had dropped. You heard louder shouts this time round, then a hurried whisper from Baekhyun

‘Jagi, check the right drawer under your table alright. I got to go now, mi an.’

‘Ah, okay.. saranghae’ and the call was dropped.

You know it was beyond Baekhyun’s control when he had to end the call. But it still didn’t stop you from feeling down at the abrupt goodbye.

Forcing a smile on your face for the sake of your own, you went to your table as baekhyun had told you.

Right drawer under the table?

Pulling open the drawer to find a floral patterned metallic box.

Was baek referring to this?

Popping open the metal box you gasp at the contents scattered within. With a hand over your mouth, you could feel your eyes welling up with tears again.

Chocolates. Lots of chocolates. Fanciful chocolates. Notes... byun baekhyun actually wrote notes for you?

He never once made you cards no matter how hard you ‘jaebal’ for him to. He would just say

‘Too difficult’

‘Too bothersome’

‘Suck at handicraft’

You pulled out the longest note in the entire box and couldn’t help but chuckle when you saw his scrawls

Annyeong Jagi! I bet you would choose this to read first cause it’s the longest. Did I guess it right?ㅋㅋ i wrote a letter to my beloved EXO-Ls, and I thought, how could I not leave you with one? Y/N, you see the chocolates in this box? I went to the candy store that day and picked them individually for you. Because I’m not around, I thought you might need them more. If you have a hard time when I’m away, take a chocolate and a note, enjoy them and think about me. Thank you for waiting, nae sarang, very soon I’ll be with you again. ^^

On the table, your phone vibrated and your screen lit up.

A msg from baekhyun:

Found my speedpost? Saranghae, wool ji ma(dont cry). Let’s call again tmr, goodnight!

You were smiling and crying like a fool by now. With a vision blurred by your tears, you typed a reply

Ya byun Baekhyun. Gumawo.... saranghae

Surely, you must have saved a nation your past life for you to meet byun baekhyun.

———

I was watching EXO arcade and this super random thought came to mind, do yall think their new album concept actually came from EXO arcade?

Like maybe they had been planning a season 2 all along and a new album. But they couldn’t think of a concept, so tada! Arcade, games! For their album concept~ Is there any talk like this circulating, hahah, hope I’m not late to the party then.

#baekhyun #exowritersnet #exo #bbh #exo comeback #exo scenarios #exo baekhyun #exo fanfic #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fan fiction #byun baekhyun #super m

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taglegend · 3 years

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Tag Fact #3 - I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.

1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.

2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her.

3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.

4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.

5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.

7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.

#tag facts #influences from cartoons #likes and dislikes #thoughts i have about characters #toons #rayman #sonic the hedgehog #gorillaz #waluigi #turbo #wreck it ralph #undertale #cuphead

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starcrossed-pharaoh · 3 years

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Red Crackle Breakdown

Itstalkcartoons recently had a live stream interview with Carmen Sandiego’s showrunner Duane Capizzi, I’ve seen some thoughts on tumblr so after watching the interview I thought I’d drop down some direct quotes and talk about what happened. You can find the interview on Istalkcartoon’s IG page, it’s about an hour and a half long full of other tidbits about the characters and the show so definitely check it out if you’re interested. The post below will have spoilers from season 1 - season 4 so if you haven’t seen it yet, do not read below.

- Duane confirms that Gray is the most complex character and has the most complex arc of anyone in the show.

- Gray’s story was meant to be wrapped up in the season 1 pilot. Duane created his story for that episode only. After the pilot, the Writer’s Room was developed and he was blown away by the interest that people had in Gray as a character. It was from there they decided to go with the ‘amnesia’ arc to expand and enrich his character.

- Duane confirms that in the pilot episode, at that point in time, Gray “was willing to kill her [Carmen] for V.I.L.E on the train”. He says a little earlier to this quote that “we know Gray has good qualities, from his days back at the school protecting Black Sheep, but he’s still a criminal, still a sociopath” and he admits that this is a controversial opinion of the character. “He [Gray] says one of the most awful things to her, that anybody in the series has ever said, something like ‘You proved yourself to V.I.L.E, that’s all you ever wanted, wasn’t it?’ and it’s so demeaning.” By Carmen leaving him gift-wrapped in her coat on the train, Gray “got what he deserved” and Carmen “moved on”.

So what we do know is that despite Gray and Black Sheep being very close on the island, when Black Sheep defected, no matter how hard Gray could have found this he was still grimly determined to kill Carmen for V.I.L.E. This is heart breaking, not only for their friendship, but because of the successful brainwashing and nurturing of sociopathic tendencies that V.I.L.E did to these barely legal adults. Carmen clearly proved herself unique to this, she had the longest exposure to villains and brainwashing on the island, but her innate empathy for others won over her drive for success.

I suppose, we don’t know exactly what the lives of the other V.I.L.E members were like. We know from season 4 that Gray’s drive was to be successful, he was a junior technician at the Sydney Opera House and wanted more out of his life. But V.I.L.E is, essentially, a cult. V.I.L.E engages in mind altering practises, cull dissenters, dictate their students’ beliefs, education, social communities. They clearly target and prey on teenagers with specific skill sets, who likely have specific backgrounds that make them more vulnerable in society, or more likely to respond to a vigilante or criminal way of living. They clearly make sure that their students know V.I.L.E is their entire life, their entire community, and if you want that: you need to follow the rules.

It’s not too surprising to me that Gray is like this in the pilot. He’s a complex character leaning into sociopathic tendencies, he was written to be that way.

- Gray’s arc changes with his amnesia. Duane confirms Bellum created nice guy Graham Calloway onto Gray, it was a personality “grafted onto him” that opposes his personality in the pilot. Carmen protects Graham Calloway, she recognises that he isn’t the ‘V.I.L.E Gray’ and that he is innocent and has the potential for a do-over. This shows Carmen’s true selflessness, despite her ex-best friend trying to essentially kill her/take her down, she sees he doesn’t remember any of that and believes in his goodness. So much so that she protects it. It’s the opposite of where Gray was in the beginning.

- Tragically, when Gray gets his memories back, he does revert back to V.I.L.E. Duane does not confirm exactly why this is but he does say that Gray was never good enough for Carmen up until the finale. We can theorize and infer a lot from what he’s told us of Gray’s character, despite the good qualities he does have, he struggles with doing the right thing. How much of Gray is because of V.I.L.E’s cult-like brainwashing and how much of it is due to Gray’s own chaotic morality and ambition is up to interpretation. I’m of the belief it’s a strong mix of both. In saying that, I’d like to think Gray’s aware that if he defects with Carmen, he knows he’s as good as dead. Graham Calloway might have believed Professor Maelstrom would let him walk free, but Gray is not so naive. He made his choice a long time ago and taking Carmen’s hand is not just about caring about her, it’s choosing a side and who he wants to be.

Just because Gray doesn’t join Carmen doesn’t mean his arc is entirely reverted though. In the pilot, he was willing to kill her. After knowing her through the eyes of Graham Calloway, and having the empathy and naivety and kindness of Graham Calloway literally injected into him, Gray truly feels regret and empathy. V.I.L.E unintentionally gave Gray a huge gift they likely never foresaw: a different perspective. He regrets ever hurting Carmen and never wants to do so again. That’s a huge step from where he was at the beginning, but is it enough to leave what he’s familiar and used to?

There’s a lot to unpack there that I won’t go into because this is long enough. I think it’d be interesting to go more in depth about the psychology of cults and how future Gray and future Carmen would assimilate the personalities they were forced into. Do those personalities go away when the memories come back? Can the trauma of it cause black outs and more memory loss? What does it do to your mental health? Do you assimilate it into who you are? But I digress

- The most important part of Gray’s arc is in the finale. As Duane says, it’s Gray’s “coming of age, when he becomes a real person” and he does so by showing what Carmen stood for: true selflessness. There’s a bitter irony to Gray’s ambitions of success, his desire to work with Carmen as a team, pulling off successful and incredible heists ... all his dreams are coming true. But she takes more risks, he’s shocked by her ruthless and individualistic impulses, he knows it isn’t truly her, and whatever he could excuse before, he knows it’s wrong. He chose to be a criminal, Carmen didn’t. The final thing that gets through to him is what Gray knows she can never take back: killing Shadowsan. He defects and betrays, not for himself, not for success, not for anything except for her. He’ll risk getting killed, imprisoned, he’ll even betray this Carmen, out of a true selflessness for her to be herself again. He proves he has become a person good enough for Carmen Sandiego.

- I also absolutely love that at some point he changed his Crackle Rod to stun mode as a ‘maximum setting’. He didn’t plan for Carmen to be able to use it against him because he thought she couldn’t use it, so for awhile now he’s been ‘stunning’ people instead of killing them. Even though he returned to V.I.L.E, he came back as a changed person.

- His decision in the hospital room was also quite tragic, he didn’t want to complicate her life any further and Duane confirms he felt shame over his actions. That it was the right narrative at the time. I agree with this, though I’m a RedCrackle shipper at heart, the writer in me recognises the parallels of Carmen selflessly staying away from Gray to not ‘complicate’ his new beginning, and now Gray showing the same selflessness is a mirror to me that they’re on equal footing. (But also, please meet up again and talk to each other, because they’re the only ones who have gone through traumatic memory altering and personality grafting and there’s bound to be mental issues with that and they could help each other!)

And now, some talk by Duane on some RedCrackle hints:

- Carmen [on V.I.L.E island] was at an age where she probably didn’t know how to interpret her feelings for him, referencing when she called him a big brother to her. She tells Player she cares about him but doesn’t specifically reference that this is romantic or not

- 100% Graham was flirting with her in Australia

- They absolutely will meet up again in the future.

Anyway, I’ve seen some things circulating about the interview on Tumblr and I just wanted to provide some context and quotes from the interview. It was surprising to me that we were to read Gray as someone ruthless enough to kill Carmen in the pilot, because I didn’t interpret that exactly from my viewing, but I suppose that’s the great thing about art: it’s your interpretation. It also makes sense to me that Gray was written for the pilot and it was the Writer’s Room afterwards that took his character in new ways, just proof of organic storytelling. I also love that in the interview, he doesn’t specify any of the pairings as canon but if we saw things happen between characters or implied by a character, it was intentional, and I love that.

Definitely check out the interview for yourselves on Itstalkcartoon’s IG, they had a lot more to talk about, particularly with the goodbye to Zack and Ivy and Carulia.

Special thank you to Duane Capizzi, I doubt he’’ll ever read this, but thank you for your part in bringing this amazing show and its characters to a new narrative. It’s such a shame it only lasted for four seasons, hopefully in the future we get new stories to tell with these characters. As a complete side note, I am a New Zealander and it was so great to see NZ represented in media, even better that it was a Carmen and Gray episode :D To everyone else, thanks for reading this if you have gotten this far :)

#redcrackle #carmen x gray #carmen sandeigo netflix #duane capizzi #carulia #spoilers

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dawniebb · 4 years

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We Need to Talk About Evie

but do we though?

OKAY SO.

To the anon who asked if we were making more content, this is it :)

Let’s just say that this was another sort of marathon about the canon divergence universe I share with @healing-winston-pratt ! And this one included two lists, a drawing and a fic :) which is this one. Basically, a “Maggie is Evie” reveal bc I love to hurt myself and other people. I wrote this MONTHS ago :) but still, I hope you like it! <3

For background:

Why is Winston alive and why do Nova and him live with Leroy?

And some other things related to the canon divergence universe, but NOT to this fic:

About Evander’s family

Their portrait: https://healing-winston-pratt.tumblr.com/post/626983013669044224/sandra-obrien-wade-and-arthur-evander-wade

We absolutely don’t need to talk about Evie right now bc we’re having a hard time already, but here we go :)

@novadreamer95438 , @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff there you go! (And @obsidianfr3sk bc I saw your tags about the fics jsjsjs and @jacihayle, but, in both your cases, you haven’t asked to be tagged and we’re doing it in case you wanted to get the notification, hence, if you want to be removed from the tag list, just notify us, that’s totally fine <3 )

They were sitting across the table, and it was super uncomfortable.

Nova thought about a married couple who was about to tell their grown ass child they were getting a divorce, even though the idea of an universe where for some reason Winston and Leroy were the same age and decided to get married absolutely repulsed her.

However, as disgusting as that sounded, that was what they looked like. They were even sitting next to each other, and while Winston tried to smile a bit, Leroy looked dead inside.

Not that he were physically able to look in some other way.

Damn.

She was used to all of this. These situations. These types of scenes.

And yet, she wanted it to be over once and for all. These had been the longest 5 minutes of her life. So long she even had to look at her clock to check how many minutes had passed, because she was almost sure they had been sitting there for at least 15.

But no. 5 minutes.

5 suffocating and eternal minutes.

Finally, Winston sensed and acknowledged this was getting kind of weird and, while straightening his back, he spoke in a fake upbeat voice.

“So… “He said.

Then his tone felt flat and his voice turned into nothing, because it disappeared. Like that. After his first word, he was out of courage again. And he stayed there, with his mouth half-open.

But Nova couldn’t tolerate this any longer, so this time she took (or at least tried to) the lead.

“So?” She asked with a determinate, almost demanding tone. “I was kinda in the middle of something, so… if you guys could…you know, tell me what did you call me for?”

Technically, she wasn’t lying. She was in the middle of something. It wasn’t work-related, but still it was something.

Nova tended to take her inventions, her personal projects, pretty seriously and Winston and Leroy were more than aware of that, and since she knew that, she found it very rude of them to interrupt her; to take her out of her zone so they could all sit around the table in an awkward and tense silence, listening to the sound of their own breaths. That is, she wasn’t usually this this harsh towards them, but they had managed to put her in a bad mood.

“Yeah. Sure. Of course you wanna know what is it that we called you for.” Winston sniffed, lacing his fingers together on the table. He looked…no, he acted nervous.

Nova didn’t know what he was about to say or what they were trying to tell her, but she was sure as hell that, after this, Winston would have to talk to his therapist, as he was continuously clearing his throat to stop his fake high-pitched tone from coming out instead of his real voice.

“We need to talk.” He concluded.

Nova snorted, while Leroy rubbed his face so hard she could see the trace of his hand on his own skin…As if he were helping much to the situa…

“Goddamn. Don’t do that. It’s not like you’re being too helpful.”

Thank you.

“I know.” Leroy said in a monotonous tone. “However…”

“No. Please. Just stop. I’m shaking and you’re just making it worse. If you’re not gonna do anything to help then stop grimacing at me or get the fuck out.”

“Man.”

“You act like an old, adult-sized, grumpy toddler. Grow up.”

Nova bit her lip, trying to convince herself this wasn’t funny, even though it was. In the past, being aware Winston was mad would’ve been extremely scary (The fact he was kind to her didn’t mean he could be underestimated. Winston had easily been the most dangerous Anarchist after Ace and Ingrid) but right now it was just…this. He could have a bad temper if he put his mind into it, though he would move on after like 30 minutes or so.

And Leroy knew that too, so he didn’t get offended.

That, and the fact that it was extremely hard to make Leroy feel offended.

Winston closed his eyes and massaged his temples, trying to get his chill back and align his freaking chakras.

Nova hissed. She had had this idea for a couple of minutes now, but she decided that it was the time to spit it out because, besides being eager to go back to the basement, she could feel the stress levels were getting out of control and they were at the point where they soon would start killing each other.

“If this is about The Talk.” Nova said, and once their attention was back at her, she repeated, air quoting:

“The Talk.”

“We know what you’re referring to.” Leroy nodded.

“Yeah. So…there’s no need for that.” She assured. “I already know about that stuff. Honey gave me a really graphic lecture back in the day and, not to offend you guys, but I’m not sure I want to go through that again. I appreciate the intention, but…”

“It’s not about that.” Leroy said. Cold, almost like he wanted her to shut up. Nova knew there was no use in feeling attacked or bad because that was the way Leroy usually spoke to everyone. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge in her stomach. In Leroy’s mind, from what she had heard, seen and experienced, she didn’t fit in the everyone category.

“Oh.” She gulped. “What is it, then?”

Leroy stared at her, Nova stared at Winston when Leroy’s stare was too heavy, and Winston stared at Leroy too.

So good ol’ Cyanide had no other option but to open his mouth again.

“We need to talk about Evie.”

And the world went numb. Her world. Her entire, little, shattered world.

And even though everything around it was in flames, Nova’s body, which held her little world, felt frozen. She was made of ice.

And she felt extremely cold.

She looked at both Winston and Leroy with all the hatred she was yet to dispose; all the resentment she still carried within; all the pain that still ate from her insides from now and then; until she realized she had skipped at least 5 seconds breath, and her legs responded, helping her up from the chair almost against her will.

They had no right.

They weren’t allowed to mention that. Not yet.

Not when they knew she was yet to heal.

Not when they knew they were ripping open an old, painful scar.

“No, we don’t.” She stated directly. “The only person I’ll talk to about that at the moment is my therapist and if you don’t like it it’s not my obligation to apologize. You’ll have to deal with that. You’re grown ass men.”

This time it was Winston’s turn to rub his face until there has a hand-shaped red line all the way through it.

“Wow, you fucking genius.” He barked at Leroy. “So sensitive and subtle, as al—“

“YOU’RE GROWN ASS MEN!” Nova slammed the table, feeling so furious she didn’t even find the time to cry.

Mostly because didn’t feel like crying.

Instead, she felt like screaming in a pillow until her throat bled.

“HEY! FINE, FINE! CALM DOWN!” Winston reached for her hand, grabbing her by the wrists. “CALM DOWN, YOU’LL HURT YOUR HANDS!”

She stopped. Not because she was more calm, but because Winston looked genuinely worried and she couldn’t help but feel…something.

Nova breathed like an enraged bull until her lungs ached and Winston’s gaze felt bigger than her, along with his hold.

Just like when she was little, during stormy nights.

Winston and Leroy were always the best at calming her down. And even now, no matter how hard she tried, every time they did stuff like this she went numb. A weird type of numb.

A good type of numb.

“Good.” Winston sighed. “Would you mind to sit down?”

She did it, as her body suddenly felt heavy as a rock; her body touched the chair again, and she shivered but tried to act normal.

“I’m sorry.” Leroy said in a hoarse voice. And even if she expected something more, that something never came, but Nova understood anyways.

Still, she didn’t find the strength to answer.

Winston rubbed his hands against each other and gently pushed his glass of water across the table towards her, but although her throat was dry, she refused to drink from it. She still had something called pride.

“What do you want?” She asked coldly.

“Nova, look…”

“What do you want?” She asked again, annoyed. “Do you want to know about how I left her to die?”

Winston shut his eyes closed as if he had received a really painful punch, and he scratched his forehead.

“What do you want from me? What do you want to know?” Nova begged from them to answer. “Please. I don’t know what do you want or why do you want it but let’s just…get this over with.”

“We don’t want anything from you.” Leroy started, this time in a less hurtful and soulless tone. “We’ve already caused you too much harm all over the years and we’re trying to make it up to you. Hence, I apologize for broaching the subject in such a sudden and violent way.”

Nova’s lips trembled, just like her hands.

“Fine.” She said.

Just…fine.

Nothing else to say.

Not at the moment, at least.

“And I apologize in advance for having to bring this up in the first place.” Winston licked his lips and cleared his throat. Again. “We even consulted your doctor and everything and, needless to say, we were advised not to act like asses about it. But somebody did anyway so…”

“You’ve thrown so many bricks at me I could build a wall with them, Winston. Thanks for your cooperation.”

“You’re welcome, you insensitive piece of shit.”

As fast as he directed his attention to Leroy, he directed it to Nova again, who just sniffed, blinded by rage.

“You talked to my doctor.” She said. Not as a question, but rather as a statement.

Because that’s what it was, and she wasn’t going to apologize for that either.

“We did.” Winston nodded. “Remember that she provided us with her contact and stuff, in case you…”

“I know.” Nova massaged her temples. “I know.”

“She didn’t provide any confidential information, nor did she give us any type of sensitive details about your sessions.” Leroy assured. “So there’s no need for you to be…worried about that.”

She wasn’t worried about that. She trusted them enough, even if sometimes she wasn’t willing to admit it. At least, she trusted them enough to know that, if someday her therapist saw herself in the necessity to tell them something, anything about what happened during the appointments, she wouldn’t be mad.

Not too much, at least.

But this was just too out of character even for them. And, not to sound harsh, but she would’ve expected it from someone like Hugh. Not them. Not Winston and Leroy.

“I’m not.” She said, trying to remain in a neutral tone. “So…please, please just tell me what’s this issue that’s so delicate you had to talk to my therapist before talking to me.”

They stared to each other for a second, before Leroy handed the folder he’d been keeping under his arm to Winston; the one she hadn’t paid too much attention to, as she thought it was…normal paperwork stuff.

Winston didn’t hand it to Nova. Instead, he put it on the table and placed both his hands on top of it.

“So. You’ve been told about and even helped with the updates to the Renegades system.” Winston said. High-pitched.

“Correct.” Nova’s eyelid was twitching.

“And…well, you know, since you are…a Renegade.” Winston coughed. “They had to take DNA samples from you to…”

“Upload it to the system. Let’s skip that part. I know it.” Nova rolled her eyes. She had no idea why they were going around the topic so much. “I’m the one they took samples from. I had to sign for permission. There’s no need to explain something I did. “

“Okay, okay. I’m…I’m sorry. You’re right.” Winston sniffed. “But…we need to mention it because…well…”

“They took samples from all the current Renegade recruits: Members of the Council, patrol units, the janitorial team, the Headquarters staff…” Leroy took a deep breath. “….Winston and I had been suspicious about this for a while but still…”

“Still, we didn’t know.” Winston nodded. “….Gosh. This is going to be fucking hard.”

Nova crossed her arms over her chest.

“What’s going to be hard?” She laughed sarcastically. “And what does Evie even have to do with this? What is this all about?”

When they just looked at her, she thought she might have been missing something. Or failing to catch something in that case. Not that she cared at this point.

“Nova. The thing is that…” Winston took a deep breath. “We…”

A nervous laugh escaped his mouth, while Leroy played with the fabric of the tablecloth, absently.

“We…uhm…” He gulped. “We got…a match.”

She heard and comprehended the structure of the sentence, but it didn’t make sense at all in her head. So, the best answer she could think of was:

“A match of what?” in a harsh tone, arching her eyebrow as she tilted her head to the side.

“What the fuck are you two talking about?”

Winston hissed, and Leroy cleared his throat.

“A match, Nova.” Leroy clarified.

And after remaining in silence for at least three seconds, he spoke again, just because Winston refused to do it.

“A DNA that matches yours. And that, comparing it to the samples they took from Evie when she was born…it…uhm….also matches hers.”

She heard the words through a blank noise that invaded her ears. Deafening.

She felt the hot tears creating a vessel through her vision, as her arms tightened around her chest. And somehow, the answer was still clear as water.

“That’s bullshit.” She declared. “Those tests are wrong because the Renegades are still negligent as fuck. So that’s pure bullshit. That’s pure and utter…”

“Nova…”

“I was there the day she died and I could’ve saved her but I didn’t so she fucking died.” She stated, calm. “That’s the way things are. That’s what happened. That’s what…”

“Nova.”

“Nova. Listen.” Leroy stared directly at her eyes.

And this time he looked absolutely destroyed, so she listened.

For once.

“Her name’s Margaret White.” He said, slowly. “That’s Evie. That’s your sister.”

Her heartbeat turned into a drum, beating so fast it made her whole body ache. She turned into a car about to crash against a fence. A rollercoaster. A train wreck. A hurricane about to happen. And above all that noise, all she could hear were the bullets; all she could touch was Evie’s soft baby skin; all she could feel was the apartment’s floor beneath her bare feet; all she could smell was her mother’s blood above her brow; all she could remember was Magpie’s face.

All she could recognize was the bullet she carried around in her pocket.

All she could remember was how that kid had stolen her bracelet. Twice.

How she stared at her so full of disdain, directing a different type of sneer at her every single time; so resented with everyone, even with herself people she didn’t know.

Magpie, that Magpie, was the little baby Nova had mourned for more than half of the years she had been alive.

Magpie, who hated her and everyone else.

“Oh, Nova…” Winston tried to reach for her hand, but Nova slapped his’ away as hard as she could, careful not to release her power on him, just because she wanted to confront both of them.

“That’s bullshit.” She repeated, frantic. “It can’t be true.”

All she’d done.

“It can’t be true. Those papers are wrong.”

All she’d suffered.

“It’s not true.”

All she’d risked to avenge her sister.

“You’re lying.” She said, tears streaming down her face, begging they were lying.

All she’d done and risked…just for her beloved little sister to be alive.

Her chest went up and down, violently, as she covered her ears to avoid hearing their voices.

“NO!” She screeched, getting up from her chair. “YOU’RE LYING! YOU’RE LYING! YOU ALL ARE NOTHING BUT…!”

“NOVA, PLEASE, CALM DOWN!”

She slammed her fist on the table once again, as she felt her whole body losing control. Shaking. Shivering. Trembling.

Crumbling apart along with her life.

Her lie of a life.

Her little sad world full of lies and grief.

And now grief was also a lie.

“YOU’RE FUCKING LYING!”

Couldn’t it had been, at least, somebody that loved her?

-.-

By the time the healer was gone, Simon finally noticed the little wounds in Winston’s hands. He also had bitten his nails until he reached his skin and it started to bleed.

And his face was soaked.

And that, even if it was odd to admit it, broke his heart. He was absolutely distraught, just like Leroy, even though Leroy was handling it way better.

If Simon hadn’t been through this many times, he probably would’ve reacted the same as Winston.

“Is she…?”

“Yeah. She’ll be fine.” Hugh cleared his throat.

It had happened so fast they didn’t even have time to put on their uniforms. They were here, with regular clothes, just because Leroy and Winston hadn’t figured who else to call.

“The healer gave her some sedatives. It’ll take a couple of minutes, but she’ll…she’ll be fine.” Hugh said, to which Winston hiccupped and nodded, even if he wasn’t crying anymore.

Leroy showed no reaction. He was staring at a blank space in the nearest wall.

“We figured …maybe you don’t consider it adequate that Adrian spends the night here, so…he already notified the rest of the team members and Tucker volunteered. You…know her, right?”

“We do.” Winston said in a hoarse voice. “The…girl with this… grappling hook, right? Ruby.”

“Err… not quite a grappling hook but yeah. That’s her.”

Oh my god, Hugh.

Later Simon would lecture him about how it was non polite to be this dense.

Right now, it didn’t matter.

All that mattered was the scene that could be seen through the ajar bedroom door.

Nova was kneeling on the carpet while Adrian hugged her from the back, covering her body with his’.

You’re lying.

That’s what she said. On loop.

And Stars, Simon wished they were.

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anxiouslynumbme · 4 years

Text

Carmuel Missing Scenes/Moments

A/N: Hello! I hope you're all doing well. So I was planning on posting the last 2 parts on the same day but that would've taken way too long, so I decided to just post the part I'm done with. I also forgot to add a quick note for last chapter, I’m aware that I ignored the show’s timeline (with 3x07 and 3x08.)----I kinda just put the whole murder plot in 3x07, 'cause it worked with the chapter. But mainly, it's because I wanted 3x08 to entirely be about Carmuel/Samucarla. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy.

WARNING: (Explicit Sexual Situations, Strong Language.)

3x08 - Part 1

_______________________________________________________

Given everything that'd happened, Carla was taking her time to get back into the swing of things. But then again things had been terrible, so maybe she shouldn't bother. A fresh start was probably the best option and she was lucky that she even had one. Carla had dodged too many bullets, it was time she stopped walking into the line of fire.

Going to Polo's funeral had provided a closure Carla didn't know she'd needed. She wasn't just letting go of someone she loved, she was letting go of everything that'd come with him. Unfortunately, it also meant she had to let go of all the good memories as well. And that when sadness hit viciously, mourning for Polo, the Polo she remembered before all that shit had happened. He was gone, and Carla wanted to believe that she could remember him for the good things because the bad things had been buried with him. But it wasn't that simple, was it?

Life for her had gotten calmer after the funeral, stagnant, even. Carla liked that, it was a much needed change of pace. But life was also moving fast, soon everyone was starting their own journey, paving their own path, and while Carla never liked to admit to these kind of things, it was sad that they wouldn't be sharing their lives with each other anymore.

Carla wasn't gonna lie to herself, she didn't have many friends, there were a few select people she was going to miss when she left Spain. And try as she might, Carla couldn't stop thinking about one person in particular. Samuel had occupied her mind every second of every day.

They had called each other, it was mostly Samuel. Carla was still feeling a considerable amount of guilt and she had tried to keep their phone calls short and terse. She was preparing both of them. But Samuel, Samuel was relentless, calling, trying to get her to agree on meeting.

But then everything changed.

Carla had told him the exact date she was leaving and it was like a bucket of ice water that she'd felt being dumped on both of them over the phone.

And that was when Samuel had started pulling back. He called less and less and when Carla was brave enough to call, sometimes he didn't answer. Days passed quickly after that, Carla got busy making arrangements for the wineries and Samuel was busy avoiding her, so she didn't really know what was going on in his life.

Carla would be lying if she said his actions weren't just a bit confusing; since he was the one so adamant on 'hanging out' before she left. But Carla also knew he was only trying to protect himself from what he knew was coming, or maybe he was just done with her. Which was what Carla wanted in the first place. So why was she so frustrated with him?

Carla was getting more irritated with the situation every day. Samuel had finally realized she was right and he was letting her go. She should be grateful that he'd woken up and realized they had no chance of a future anymore.

Carla was glad, she was okay with it. Until Lu and Guzmán had planned an outing to get everyone together, including Samuel, of course.

The gathering was held at this cute, cozy bar. It was pretty mellow and atmospheric; twinkling lights all over the ceiling, soft music playing in the background so people could actually hear each other. A perfect place for friends to hang out before everything changed and they all went their separate ways.

They were all currently sitting around two tables, which they'd pushed together earlier in the evening. And other than a 'hello' that was meant for the entirety of their group, Samuel hadn't tried talking to her, he didn't even grant her a private greeting.

Good for him. It was for the best.

"All right, darlings," Lu began, standing up and addressing the table, raising her glass. "I'd like to make a quick toast. . .we've survived some serious shit, haven't we? It's a little crazy to think about the insanity that's been in all of our lives. Everyone here has been through a lot, some of it we share, some of it we don't. But we're all here right now. Together. And I'd like to think that we've grown enough to understand each other.

"To be there for each other, even if it's not physically." Lu paused, eyes brimming with tears. "I guess I'm just grateful that when it mattered most, I wasn't alone. We'll never forget what we've been through and who we lost - " Lu's breath caught in her throat as she stuttered over her words and Carla felt an instant need to comfort her friend, grabbing her hand and squeezing gently.

Sitting on the other side of Lu, Nadia put a hand on Lu's shoulder, rising up next to her and nodding reassuringly as she started speaking. "As Lu was saying, we'll never forget. We are always bound. So here's to everything. To the people we lost.To the good memories and the bad ones, too. To Las Encinas, for bringing us all together...to long nights spent studying and - "

"Oi, speak for yourself!" Rebeca exclaimed jokingly, causing a round of laughter to break out.

"Anyway." Nadia glared playfully at Rebeca, before turning to smile softly at Lu. "To unexpected friendships. To the scary, uncertain future. To sticking together no matter what, and having faith even when things turned bleak and it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. To - to loving each other regardless of the consequences." Nadia said the last part staring at Guzmán and he was staring right back.

Carla found her eyes darting to Samuel, catching his eyes for less than a second before he quickly averted them.

Nadia wiped a single tear that'd escaped her eyes, before smiling widely at the whole table. "To friends. To family!"

"Yeah!"

"Damn right!"

Cheers and excited affirmations exploded all around Carla, who was only focused on one thing.

While Carla had no right to be angry with Samuel, she was a little pissed off at his new found dismissive nature. Ever since she'd decided to study abroad, Carla's been having second thoughts, but they were just thoughts. Normal, predictable doubts that came with big decisions and life-changes. It didn't mean Carla was going to stay and it definitely didn't mean Samuel was going with her.

They were too young to feel like this. Carla questioned her sanity sometimes, the fact that it seemed like she was always going to be this far gone for him. How could someone feel this much at this age? That was why she'd pretended her feelings for him were sexual compatibility for the longest time. Their chemistry was just intense and it could be easily interpreted into something more than it was.

But staring at him on the other side of the table as he talked with Omar, her eyes unable to focus on anything else, Carla was hit with realization yet again that she was in love with him.

Samuel was wearing a simple black, long-sleeved shirt with faded blue jeans. His hair was longer, but not too long, just long enough to make her fingers itch to run through it. His lips relaxed into half a smile as he listened to whatever Omar was telling him. Her eyes shamelessly admired his features. His sharp jaw which she wanted to lick with her tongue, his rosy, full lips that she wanted to kiss until they were both crying out for air. The slim, pointy slope of his nose, releasing breaths she wanted to feel on her skin.

Then Carla reached his eyes. And they weren't on her.

And she fucking hated how her heart kept yanking its own strings calling out for them to stay on her. They always had. His eyes were always on her, one way or another, they always seemed to find her and latch on. But Samuel hadn't looked at her, really looked at her since that morning after Polo's death.

After their conversation that day. Carla had finally allowed herself to believe they were going to take advantage of whatever time they had left, that it wasn't the worst idea in the world. The other - more logical and prominent part - knew it was easier to just let things be, and not stir any more unnecessary pain. They'd had enough of that, it was better to leave things, untouched, clean, and simple for once. It was naive and reckless to start something when she knew the ugly, inevitable end.

And yet as Carla watched him, she suddenly didn't care much about any of that, she knew the risks and she still wanted him one last time. But it seemed Samuel was more in agreement with his logical side these days. The one time she wanted him to give in to his feelings and run to her head on, he was distant and guarded.

Carla knew he felt her gaze. Every time she trained her eyes on him, she could literally see him squirm in his seat, his fingers raking through his soft hair as he pretended to listen to the conversations around him. And Carla could feel his own fleeting gaze when he thought she wasn't aware of it.

Carla decided it was time she made a move before letting him go forever. Just one last conversation. She just wanted to look at him.

Samuel was getting a drink from the bar when Carla walked up to him. "Hello."

He visibly stiffened but glanced her way. "Hi. How have you been?"

"Good, you?"

"Good."

God, this was ridiculous.

"Uh, wanna a drink?"

"No, I actually can't drink, Nina's orders."

"For how long?"

"She promised soon I'll be able to, little by little. And soon better come quickly because I'm losing my mind a little."

That earned her half a grin. "I'm sure. But hey, alcohol isn't that great, you know? You're not missing much." he tried feebly.

"Says the guy who can drink any time he wants."

He smiled. "Fair enough."

Carla took a deep breath. "Wanna go for a walk?"

What was she doing? Why was she pushing it?

"A walk? Now? It's quite late."

"Yeah, it's too crowded in here."

It really wasn't.

Samuel looked away from her. "I - I don't think that's the best idea."

"Oh. Why?"

"You know why."

"I do." she sighed. Fuck. "Well, I'm just gonna get some fresh air before going home. Good night, Samuel."

Carla went back over to say her goodbyes quickly before making her way out of the bar. Samuel was finally being smart about his relationship with her, and Carla was still trying to get him alone. Carla felt helpless, she honestly wanted to just talk to him, know exactly why the sudden change of heart, what had changed.

So Carla'd made a risky play with him just now. But if she knew Samuel at all, it wasn't actually all that risky.

And sure enough after a few seconds of being outside, he was on her tail.

"Really, Carla?"

His voice came out annoyed and Carla grinned; before turning around to face him. "What?"

"You're seriously making me walk with you?"

"And how am I doing that?"

Samuel cocked his head, quirking an eyebrow. "You know I'm not gonna let you walk by yourself at this hour."

Carla beamed. "Samuel, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. It's not my fault you're sexist and think women need looking after."

Samuel scoffed, gaping at her like a fish out of water and Carla bit her lip trying to hold in her laughter.

"I know what you're doing," he grumbled but there was a hint of a smile on his face. "And I'm not sexist, I'm protective."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that."

Samuel shook his head and started moving his way down the street. "You're unbelievable."

Carla took two fast strides to keep up with him. "Thank you."

He smirked, eyeing her. "Wasn't a compliment."

"It sounded like one to me."

"Of course it did."

They were quiet for a moment as they strolled side by side. The street was so calm, peaceful. The only light available was the gentle yellow and red glow from the lamp posts around them. It seemed like no matter where they ended up being, things were just always calm and serene with Samuel.

"That bar was really nice," Carla told him.

Samuel smiled. "Oh, yeah? You liked it?"

"Yeah, very comfortable."

"I go there all the time. I showed it to Guzmàn, he seemed to think it was great for a hang out."

Carla should've known. The place had Samuel written all over it. And she'd just noticed it was actually close to his neighborhood. "I see why you love it,"

"Yeah, when I'm there, it kinda feels like home somehow."

"Hmm." In a corner of Carla's mind, she wondered why had he never shown her the place.

A beat of silence and then he asked nervously. "Are you hungry? There's this awesome 24 hour American diner nearby."

There was the Samuel she had been missing, the one who wanted to spend time with her. A tug of guilt followed her selfish thoughts. She had to say no. But Carla was leaving soon and it wasn't a crime to want to be with him one last time.

Fuck it.

"Sure."

"Great, but it's actually not that close, walking might be a bit of a drag."

"How far?"

"Near my building, which is not that far from here, maybe seven blocks away from it."

"Okay, we can call a cab then."

"It's also not that far," he chuckled, pausing to look around, considering something. "You know what, we could just bike there."

Samuel started striding back towards the bar, which they were now half way down the street from, noting that she wasn't following him, he gestured for her to come along. "My bike is by the bar."

Oh, no.

Carla trailed behind him toward his bike and and some other bike she'd never seen before. "We could just call a car." she tried again

Samuel glanced at her. "It's not worth it. Don't worry, you won't ride with me, you can borrow Omar's."

"I'm wearing a skirt."

"So?"

"It'll be more difficult, I think," she said lamely, wishing she was at least wearing high heels, so she could use that as an excuse, but no such luck.

He straightened up from unlocking his bike and gazed at her dubiously. "Carla. . .do you know how to ride a bike?"

"Of course I do." and she did. A little.

Samuel was onto her, Carla could see it through the poorly hidden laughter in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well, this should be no problem. Come on."

"I don't want to."

"Right. Because you can't."

"I told you I can."

His smile stretched even wider as he crossed his arms behind his back. "Okay, let's see it then."

They stared each other down for a long moment, Samuel wasn't backing down, challenging her with his eyes. Whatever.

"Fine, I can't ride a bike, happy?"

Samuel laughed heartily. "A little. I bet the first thing you learned was driving a car, right?"

She smiled. "No, I used to know how, self-taught, actually. I'm just a bit rusty."

He furrowed his brows. "Self-taught?"

Carla shrugged, not wanting to sound at all like she was complaining, feeling especially privileged for what she was about to say. "Yeah, I never needed it, you know. But one day, my parents felt like I should have one anyway, so they bought it for me, but never really bothered to teach me.

"But I used to watch Mirella teaching her kids on these really old bikes and I silently took pointers from afar. However, it got boring rather quickly, so I just gave my bike to one of her kids. You're right, I prefer cars anyway."

His frown deepened but then he shook his head. "Okay then, that's all right, we could hail a taxi, or. . ." he trailed off with an sneaky smile.

"Or what?" Carla asked, confused.

"I could teach you."

Carla laughed. "No, thank you."

"It's so easy. You said you know the basics, right?"

"Yes, but I - "

"That'll make it even easier. It'll be fun, I promise." he stepped towards her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her over to the bike. Carla was so focused on the touch of his hand on her skin that she'd missed when he called her name.

"Carla?"

"This is useless. I don't need to, Samuel. There's a reason why I never had to learn." she huffed, successfully covering up her flustering thoughts.

"Riding a bike is a very important skill to learn. Get on." he said, fixing the seat, so it could be higher.

"You just never give up, do you?"

"Nope. Get on, let's go."

Releasing a breath, she climbed on to the saddle. "Now what?"

Samuel grinned, looking her up and down in a way that made her insides clench. "You pedal." he joked.

"Wow, you should do this professionally."

"It's an option, for sure." he laughed lowly.

"All right now, we need to work on your balance," he began seriously. "Stand up, but you should be touching the seat, that's why I adjusted its height - yes, exactly like that - and just walk forward with the bike."

Carla started to slowly walk, instinctively looking down at her feet.

"No, don't look down, look straight ahead." he instructed, Carla tried to keep her gaze ahead, but every few seconds she would peer down again.

"It's okay," Samuel said, moving in front of the bike, facing her. "Just look at me, it'll make it easier to have something to focus on."

It was easier. Once she'd looked up, her gaze locking with his, Carla's eyes didn't move to her feet again. She was so lost in his eyes, that she hadn't noticed they were half way down the street again and the startling fact that her feet weren't touching the ground.

"Good, good," Samuel encouraged, voice a bit husky. "Keep them off the ground, it's all about balance."

They worked on her balance for a long time, Samuel insisting it was the most important part. Until finally he decided she was ready to try pedaling.

"Let's stop for a second," he then bent down, catching her right ankle and Carla almost jumped at the sensation. Fixing the pedal up in the right position, he looked up at her, meeting her eyes and something about the moment was - strangely hot and arousing.

Samuel stood back up, puffing out a heavy breath. "Okay, walk again, and then slowly start with your right foot.

"Yes, like that, and then you can add the left."

Carla followed his instructions slowly starting with her right, followed gently by the left. And then she was actually pedaling, the bike started to glide down the street.

Samuel hurriedly jogged next to her, one hand holding the handlebar and the other was on her lower back, caging her in, in case anything went wrong.

After a while of Samuel keeping up with her, Carla felt confident enough on her own. "Okay, I think I got it now. You can let go."

"You sure?"

"Positive." he hesitantly loosened his grip, Carla was okay at first but the bike suddenly started to wobble and Carla stumbled sideways, but thankfully, Samuel was immediately there, steadying her before she fell.

She giggled. "Sorry, let's try that again."

And they did, again and again until she finally got the hang of it.

"All right, I'll concede, this is pretty fun," she said, after riding alone a few times, Carla glanced up at Samuel; to find him already looking at her with such fondness in his eyes, it made her swallow harshly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Smiling looks good on you, that's all."

"Are you using a line on me, Samuel?" Carla quipped, trying to hide the way her cheeks heated at his statement.

His lips curled coyly, taking a step closer to her, holding the handlebar and bending his head down so he could stare at her as she straddled the bike seat. His eyes finding hers with evident lust, flicking to her lips and then back up.

"I don't need it."

No, he didn't. That look alone made her core prickle with attention.

Carla loved all sides to Samuel. But this one - the confident side; that had first confronted her that day at the club, that'd grabbed her by the neck and lay the best kiss of her life on her lips - she particularly and immensely enjoyed that side.

"A bit cocky, are we?"

Samuel tilted his head to the side, shrugging innocently while a sly grin graced his beckoning lips. He was so fucking handsome.

This whole biking lesson was already weirdly turning her on and this wasn't helping the situation. Carla needed to kiss him. She leaned in a little more, feeling a bit dazed from his breath dancing on her lips, Samuel didn't move away, his chest now heaving as their mouths softly, teasingly grazed each other.

Suddenly Samuel pulled back, clearing his throat loudly with a cough. "Uh, okay, yeah, so let's get something to eat, right?"

The sting of rejection was stuck in her lungs and Carla tried to gulp it away. She shouldn't have even tried, he'd made the right move.

Quickly brushing it away, glad that he still wanted to hang out. "Yeah, let's do it."

"I'll send Omar a text to tell him we're taking his bike, he's going home with Ander anyway."

"You have the key?" she asked, knowing there must be a U-lock on Omar's bicycle.

"I have a copy, he has mine as well."

"That's adorable."

"Shut up."

A minute later they were on their way. The breeze felt so good on her skin, gliding down the street next to Samuel. It was incredibly cliche, but Carla had never felt so free or so at peace as she was in that moment. She let out an abrupt, loud laugh of giddiness, Samuel turned to look at her with a huge smile on his face.

"What?" he asked, raising his voice so she could hear him in the space between them.

"I love this!" she shouted back.

Samuel laughed along with her. "Told you!"

Letting go of the handlebars, Carla spread her arms wide open, enjoying the wind blowing through her hair.

"No, no, Carla! You're not ready for that yet. Put your hands back!"

"Stop worrying!" she said, still laughing for some reason.

"Put them back, Carla. Now!"

"You've never done this?"

"Of course I have, I've been doing it since I was a child."

"This is my first time. Don't let me do it alone."

Carla could see him rolling his eyes even from her position, before finally complying with her request. Both of them holding out their arms like six-year old idiots, their laughter ringing across the quiet street.

_______________________________________________________

"I told you to hang on." Samuel scolded for the tenth time since they'd sat down in the booth.

"Samuel, it's just a scratch. I'm fine."

Carla had fallen off Omar's bike, one second she was having fun and laughing, the next she'd swerved to the side and landed on her ass. There was a small scratch on her knee and a slightly bigger bruise on her elbow.

"Carla, I'm sorry, I should've known you weren't ready to ride - "

"Samuel, I swear, I'm okay. It's not even bleeding, I'm sure you've had a lot worse," she said, holding the ice bag to her elbow - that Samuel'd asked for once they'd reached the diner.

Okay, so maybe it hurt a little but he didn't need to know that.

"It was really fun." Carla hastily added when he tried to open his mouth to protest.

"Yeah, it was." he smiled but it quickly vanished, replaced with a frown. "But you're hurt."

"Oh my god, Samuel, drop it. I'm fine."

"All right, all right, I'll stop."

A second later the waitress arrived at their booth, carrying their food trays.

"There you go, sweethearts," she said warmly, putting down their burgers and sodas on the table. "Need anything else?"

Samuel looked at Carla to confirm she didn't need anything, before answering. "No, thank you."

"Enjoy your meal," she said, sauntering away.

"Bacon on burger. Why have I never tried this before?" Carla wondered at the flavor exploding in her mouth.

"To be honest, I'm surprised you've even tried burger or bacon at all." Samuel teased, taking a bite.

Carla wanted to retort but in all honesty, he was right. She wasn't much into junk food.

She shrugged, agreeing. "I've only tried it once or twice."

"Ooh, one too many."

Carla smiled. "Most of the burgers I ate were cooked at home, where we can make sure they're organic and healthy."

"Of course."

"They're actually pretty good, you should try it."

"I'll stick to my greasy, unhealthy food, thanks." he grinned.

"Don't knock it till you try it, Samuel. Follow my example," she said, proving her point by taking another bite of her burger.

Samuel's eyes suddenly clouded with emotion, his voice was soft as he pointed to her chin. "You have something . . ."

A transporting moment of a nostalgic memory hit Carla hard and fast. She could see it in Samuel's eyes that he had been transferred to it as well. The beautiful, heartwarming memory that usually brought her comfort thinking about it, was now chocking her as she stared into his eyes.

Carla looked away first, feeling a wild urge to flee. She plucked a napkin from the box in front of her and wiped all around her mouth. "Did I get it?"

"Um, yeah," he replied, his voice conveying a hint of sadness.

The silence that followed was tense and awkward and she hated it. Carla hated it so much, she was willing to bring up a topic of discussion they were both trying to steer clear of.

"One more year at Las Encinas, you must be thrilled," she said sarcastically, hoping that the topic wouldn't completely ruin their night.

Samuel snorted, dipping a fry in ketchup before eating it. "Oh, I am. I can't wait."

Carla smiled softly. "I'm sorry. But it's better than expulsion, right?"

Samuel didn't answer right away, peering around the diner thoughtfully. "I guess, yeah."

"It wasn't fair. What'd happened wasn't fair. At least they fixed it, though, and you can finish school now."

When he only nodded in response, Carla contemplated asking her next question. "Speaking of, do you know what you wanna do - after?"

"Um, kinda, yeah. I think I wanna be a lawyer."

That made so much sense.

"I can see it," Carla said, sipping her soda.

"Really?" he asked, a note of hope in his voice.

"Oh, definitely. If anyone is gonna bring justice to the people who need it, it's you, Samuel."

Shyness washed over his features as he smiled at her. "Thank you, I hope I'm able to."

Carla wasn't so lucky in that aspect, she didn't really know what she wanted to do with her life. That was why studying abroad was a good idea. Traveling could expand her horizon, gain her some experience.

"You know." Samuel's voice stopped her racing thoughts. "You'd make a great lawyer, too."

"What? I highly doubt that." she laughed dismissively.

"I'm serious. You could talk your way out of anything."

She gaped at him. "That's not true."

"Yes, it is."

"Okay - would that be much help as a lawyer?"

"Of course it would be, you could do it for other people. You can say anything and the judge and jury won't stand a chance."

For some reason, his words didn't set well with her. "So you're saying that I'll be able to defend the guilty by what - Lying or manipulating my way out?"

Samuel looked genuinely shocked. "That was not what I meant at all. And I never said guilty or lying or - "

"It was implied."

"No, it wasn't. Carla, I just meant - "

"No, it's okay," she cut him off. "you're not wrong."

Samuel didn't say anything back for the longest time, and Carla was unsure if she should be thankful for that or not.

"I'm sorry," he started cautiously. "I realize now how it sounded. But I honestly didn't mean it that way. I just meant you're very persuasive and smart and calculating. And yes, sometimes you can be a bit cunning. But that doesn't mean you won't use it for the good side."

"Okay . . . So you're saying if I were to be a lawyer, I could use my dark powers to do good."

Samuel laughed lightly. "Something like that. You would help people, Carla, I'm sure of it."

Samuel made Carla question herself in the best way possible. Carla knew she wouldn't do much good in the world. But there he was, making her believe she was capable of more, that she was better than she believed.

"I guess we'll never know, because I'll never be a lawyer."

"You could if you wanted to."

She grinned. "That's the thing, I don't want to."

"All right, that's fair." he half-smiled.

They spent the next hour focusing back on their food, discussing random things, and avoiding the giant elephant in the room.

"Do you wanna get dessert?"

Even though Carla was full, she didn't want the night to end, so she said yes.

"What would you like?"

Carla skimmed over the menu. "I could go for some ice cream."

"Me too, that sounds good."

Later as they were eating the tasty treat, it was kinda pathetic how they were both eating the ice cream they'd ordered so slowly, it was starting to melt.

It was painfully obvious that neither one of them wanted the night to be over.

Samuel was beginning to affect her ability to function. The ache she could feel in her bones for him was constant and incessant. Carla was terrified to think she might always feel like this. The relentless need to be near him, the permanent place that had nested in her heart with his name engraved on it. It was too much to think about. The always of it all.

Because Carla missed him so much and she was doomed to miss him forever.

Carla couldn't bring herself to be selfless and call it a night. To tell him 'this was fun, I'll see you when I see you, I guess'. What could she say to him? Was this goodbye? Was this the last time she would ever see him, in this American diner tonight?

It didn't feel right. But Carla couldn't ask him to stay longer either.

"Come home with me." Samuel blurted out so suddenly and so fast, Carla wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly.

"What?"

Samuel sighed deeply, his fingers running through his hair. Glancing away before settling his burning, yet nervous gaze back on hers. "Come back with me, I mean, we could just continue talking and stuff at mine - if you want to."

Carla's heart hammered in her chest. "Well, I do have to make sure you arrive home safely."

His smile was bright and wide. "That would make me feel better."

_______________________________________________________

The tension was suffocating in the narrow hallway in front of Samuel's house. Both of them stood there, not moving. Facing each other.

Time had stopped for them, their eyes refusing to look at anything but one another. Samuel didn't open the door and Carla knew it was because of what was going to happen once they were inside, the thought of it terrifying as much as it was exhilarating. They could both feel it, they couldn't hide from it anymore.

They were succumbing. Carla felt it in the simmering heat around them, their bodies were done fighting it, it was inevitable. Her skin was starting to itch, agitated with the need for his touch, she could uncomfortably feel how ready she was for him. And Carla could see it all over Samuel, his erratic breathing, the way he fidgeted in the spot, the way he clenched his fists in anticipation.

But Samuel's yearning eyes also looked scared, actually they were terrified.

"I want you, Carla. I want you so much," he said thickly.

The desire in his voice, his eyes, all contradicted his sudden apprehensive body language.

"Samuel, you don't have t - "

"You don't understand," he interrupted urgently. "I feel like I can't do this because of how much I want you. It's fucking painful."

Her stomach twisted anxiously. "Okay, I --"

"You're leaving, Carla."

"I know." her eyes lowered with guilt. She was making it harder for both of them. "I'm sorry, you're right. This was a bad idea, we shouldn't."

When Samuel didn't say anything in return, she instantly got the message. Carla nodded curtly, making a move to leave.

Samuel caught her arm before she could twitch another muscle, edging his body so close to hers, his smell enclosing the space around her; till she was breathing in nothing but him.

"We shouldn't because it's going to hurt like hell when we're done. I'm gonna have to let you go after. Again." his voice was low and pained.

"I know." was all she could say, her eyes glued to his.

"But I - I think it's gonna hurt way more if I let you go when I know I can have you right now. Even if it's temporary. I can't live knowing I wasted a chance to be with you."

His words made their way throughout her entire body, spreading warmth all over. "Samuel, I'm sorry --"

He shook his head vehemently. "No more talking."

Her heart thudded heavily at his abrupt throaty command. And then her next breath was stolen by his mouth crashing down on hers. Carla gasped, the familiarity of his lips, his taste, making her want to moan in relief while simultaneously crying.

Samuel parted her lips open, spinning her around till her back hit the front door, his tongue tangling with hers. His exploration was deep and slow and it made Carla's ache rise to new heights, she gripped his hair tightly, scared that this moment like all the others they had shared, was short-lived and fleeting. Or worse, it was just a dream. These thoughts made her latch onto him harder, pulling him closer, her lips leaving his and trailed open mouthed kisses down his neck, sucking and biting the way she'd wanted to for what felt like forever. She could vaguely feel his hand digging into his pockets, probably fetching his keys.

"Fuck, Carla - I can't think." He groaned in her ear. "I need to get my keys."

Carla continued leisurely, her hands traveling down his chest until she was palming his hard member through his jeans. Samuel growled lowly, fisting her hair, pulling her head back and connecting their lips passionately.

He was right, Carla couldn't think either, it was hard to concentrate on anything except devouring him. But they needed to get that key.

Carla pushed him back slightly. "I got it." slapping his hand away from his pocket.

Samuel let out a low sound of protest when she let go of his lips, but he quickly got to work on her neck, desperately lavishing her skin with his tongue. She managed to finally pull his key, which was buried inside his left pocket under his phone.

"Found it." Or at least Carla hoped she did and it was the right one.

Samuel mindlessly grabbed it from her hand, trying clumsily to slide it into the lock.

"Ugh, where the fuck...?" he whined impatiently. Her hands moving all over him, distracting him even further.

Finally the door was shoved open, both of them stumbling inside, Samuel kicking the door shut after them. He blindly walked her back until she could feel herself meeting the wall beside the kitchen. His hands couldn't seem to decide which part of her to touch, his fingers tracing and clutching whatever inch of her he found, sneaking under her blouse and tracing the soft skin enticingly. His lips kissing up and down her neck deliciously, his teeth biting, before smoothing his tongue over the mark lovingly.

Carla wasn't fairing any better, enthusiastically hiking up his shirt, needing it off him. Samuel backed off for just a second to peel it off and throw it to the side. He immediately dove back in, his palms traveling up her thighs and under her skirt, tracing the outline of her underwear before ripping the thin material off.

Carla gasped at the action. They were both desperate, feverish and so fucking eager. She could feel the overwhelming, blazing eruption of physical and emotional need. Pent up feelings and sexual desires. Denied love. All of it was spurting into million bursts of electrical charge being passed back and forth between them.

This was them, unabashed and unreserved. It was that magnetic bond they couldn't explain.

"We should slow down but I can't." he rasped against her lips. His fingers leaving her waist to unbuckle his belt, trying to unzip his jeans hastily.

They weren't slowing down. They had time to savor and indulge later.

Carla took a moment to appreciate the sight of a shirtless Samuel with his jeans unzipped and low on his hips. Her hands took charge, frantically sliding her palm under his boxers, fingers grazing him gently.

"Fucking hell." he moaned hoarsely, lips attacking her collar bones, his fingers tugging on her green, silky blouse impatiently, finally unbuttoning the damn thing and sliding it off her shoulders swiftly. Carla's palm was now stroking him gently, her fingers tightening their grip each time.

"Fuck, stop, Carla, I won't . ." Samuel broke off with a keen groan, his hand catching hers to stop its movement before slamming it against the wall beside her head, his lips instantly finding hers again.

His free hand slid back under her skirt, finding her heated sex, his finger delicately touching her sensitive clit, rubbing softly in a circular motion, before slowly parting her entrance and slipping inside, his lips letting out a moan at the sensation.

Carla gasped low in her throat, trying to stifle a loud reaction, his fingers dipping in deeper and causing electricity to shoot through her. It felt too good. Too exquisite, and Carla was impatient, she needed him. Her hand firmly grasped his hard length again, making Samuel's breath falter as she guided him toward her center.

That was when Samuel completely paused, drawing back to look at her. Carla's breath hitched from the intensity of his eyes. His Adam's apple bobbing in his throat anxiously as his dark browns shone with so many ripples of emotions; love, lust, longing, relief, fear, sadness.

"Carla, I - "

"Shh, I know," she said, pulling him closer. "It's okay."

And then he pushed inside her in one agonizingly anticipated motion, their eyes clinging to each other just as much as their bodies were.

The feel of him after so long was overwhelmingly gratifying as he rested inside her for a second, giving both of them time to adjust to the achingly familiar feeling. Samuel panted harshly, his hips starting a rhythm so gentle, almost painfully so, as though trying to cherish every single tick of the intimate act. But then he perfectly gained momentum, matching both their needs. His mouth was sponging kisses all across her face, till his lips reached hers muffling their moaning as their tongues swirled hotly with each other.

"God, Carla." he grunted loudly. "I thought I'd never - " he stopped, seemingly forgetting what he was was about to say, as he drove into her faster, pinning her to the wall.

Carla had closed her eyes in ecstasy, trying to imprint every touch, every sound he made on her brain. Samuel's pace began to stir the fire already within her as he sank in and out of her faster and deeper. Her fingers clutched his hair, unable to stop herself from pulling on it hard, causing Samuel to moan and give even harder thrusts.

"Holy - fuck, Carla." his movements were growing in urgency, as he intensely and thoroughly fucked her.

"Samuel." she whimpered into his mouth, pleasure taking over every inch of her as she met his thrusts ardently. It was coming to an end. Way too soon. Carla wasn't ready for it to be over, but it was all too much, they both couldn't stop their shuddering bodies as their hips bucked against each other harshly. Carla gasping out his name one last time, her climax striking her fiercely. With a few last vigorous thrusts, Samuel tucked his head into her neck, growling out his own release.

His body sagged against hers, the only thing keeping her from collapsing on the floor. It was a few minutes before Carla's brain picked up on her surroundings again. Samuel's head was still buried in her neck, and his body was shaking against her.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly. Was he regretting it? She didn't want it to be awkward or sad. Carla thought they'd decided to not think or talk and just enjoy each other while they still could. Did he regret it?

"I - yeah. I'm okay." he breathed unsteadily, his breath tickling her skin. "Fucking wonderful, actually. You?"

Carla smiled to herself in relief, they were still on the same page, he didn't regret it. "Same."

"We forgot to use a condom," Carla told him softly, not overly worried, they had done it before, their first time of course, being the first case.

"Shit." he mumbled into her hair. "We should really pay more attention to that."

Carla sighed, running her fingers through his hair. "I know. I am on the pill, though. You're clean, right?" He nodded against her.

"Me too."

Samuel finally craned his neck back, and Carla's heart squeezed in her chest. His eyes were so soft, sated and pretty, Carla almost pouted at the beautiful sight of him, raising her palms to stroke his red, flushed cheeks.

"You look so cute," she whispered.

Samuel scowled in mock offense. "I just fucked you against this wall and you think I look cute!"

Carla laughed so loudly in response, that Samuel couldn't keep his stern look on, a smile breaking over his face.

"Cute?" he gently let her down, still clinging to her waist, which was good because her knees were barely holding her up.

She laughed harder, shrugging. "Yes. So cute and sleepy." she teased.

"Oh, Carla, I'm not sleepy one bit."

The promise, almost warning tone of his voice halted her laughter as her eyes focused on his intense ones.

Not giving her time to comprehend the meaning of his words, his lips caught hers, his arm dragging her by the waist away from the wall, and holding her to his chest. Carla could feel them moving around the house, her eyes closed, trusting Samuel to lead the way to his bedroom.

It was a blur till she opened her eyes, releasing his mouth to find they were standing in front of Samuel's bed. His lips smirked sinfully at her, before grabbing her by the waist and roughly tossing her on the bed.

Fuck.

Slowly climbing after her, he rested on his knees, his heavy-lidded eyes staring down at her. "We're nowhere near done."

_______________________________________________________

Much later, they were both completely naked on his bed. Carla was sprawled against his chest, her right ear pressed against his heart, listening to its soothing, comforting beat as his fingers massaged her scalp lazily.

Maybe it was because they unleashed the tension and she was way more relaxed, but Carla felt brave enough to say what was on her mind.

"You stopped calling."

Samuel stilled under her for only a second. "You did too."

"Because you stopped answering. It would've been selfish of me to push you further, I - I thought you'd finally let me go."

She hated how her voice broke at the last part.

"I was trying to." he admitted quietly. "But I've accepted that I can't."

"Samuel."

"I also wanted to give you some time, you know."

Carla frowned. "Time for what?"

He sighed. "Polo."

Carla stiffened, lifting her head to look at him. "What?"

His eyes didn't meet hers. "To deal with his death and everything else. I know that at some point you - um, I know what he meant to you once and I knew you needed some time to process."

Only Samuel. Samuel who hated Polo with everything in him, understood that Carla felt differently; that she was sad, the she'd needed time to mourn Polo and he didn't judge her.

"You're so considerate, it's a little annoying."

He rolled his eyes, but couldn't hide his tinted cheeks. "It's called common decency."

"Perhaps, but some people don't deserve it. I know how much you hated him, Samuel, and rightfully so. But thank you for understanding."

"Of course. So - how are you dealing with everything?"

Carla knew he wasn't just asking about Polo, but also everything with her family, the drugs, the withdrawal.

"I've been talking to Nina a lot. Obviously she doesn't know everything, but it's been nice to at least try and sort my shit out." Carla rested her head back on his chest.

"I'm glad you have someone to help you with everything."

"It's a very slow process because it's still so weird for me, honestly. And really fucking difficult to actually talk about stuff and work through them. Baby steps, I guess."

His fingers still combing through her hair, tugged gently, urging her to look up and meet his open and warm gaze. "I'm proud of you."

A wave of pure and crushing affection rushed through her forcefully, and she abruptly captured his lips.

He smiled into the kiss. "What's that for?"

Because I love you, Carla thought to herself but she couldn't say that. Carla had already taken enough, she'd already let herself bask in his presence. She couldn't say that to him and then bolt out of the country.

"Felt like it, do you have a problem with that?" she asked, kissing him again. Samuel hummed against her contentedly, biting her bottom lip.

"Never," he uttered with conviction, making Carla's heart lurch in her chest.

I love you.

The words were lodged in her throat, fighting against logic, begging to be let out. To finally let him know. Carla wanted to freely express this genuine, real and astounding emotion. There would never come a time when Carla wouldn't marvel at how much she felt for him. In such a short time he'd had her. Since the first time all of this had started, it had been a haze of a deep and intense connection. Carla had never wanted someone one so much, never had the surge of sexual attraction quite so powerfully.

But then want turned into need which tuned into something beyond what Carla'd thought she was ever capable of feeling. Something terrifyingly real.

How was it that there was a time when Carla couldn't care less about his existence and now it felt like she couldn't live without him.

But she had to.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Samuel asked, his fingers tracing the furrowed lines of her eyebrows.

You. I love you.

It would be a new low for Carla if she gave in to yet another one of her uncontrollable desires and told him. She would only be serving herself, quenching her thirst to get the feelings out. What was the point? She was leaving. It would only hurt him.

Don't tell him.

"Carla?" he sounded worried.

Don't say it. Don't be selfish. Don't tell him.

Carla had denied it for so long, all she had to do was keep it in a little longer and then they would be out of each other's lives. The words were pointless. There was no need to add salt to their wounds.

"Carla, what's wrong?"

Don't say it.

"I love you, Samuel."

#samucarla #carmuel #carla x samuel #samuel x carla #carla roson #samuel garcia #elite

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tsarinastorm · 4 years

Text

Until Somebody Stops Having Fun-Adam Sackler/Reader-Chapter 1

Rating: Explicit

You met Adam at a party at the bookstore you owned. The bookstore would host poetry nights, book clubs, release parties, and numerous other events. You were even working on developing an app for your store to help bring it into the twenty-first century. You had moved to New York on a whim, deciding to pursue writing yourself, then you ended up merging writing with your legal background to become a literary agent. You loved helped getting writers the best possible contracts, through that you met Andy, who left you the bookstore. Andy decided to take an early retirement and spend his time traveling. Not a relationship person, you had liaisons or flings, however whatever this was with Adam felt different.

Things with Adam were still new, only two weeks, and it was still very exciting. He had been coming over every other night, you’d hook up, talk, and get a bite to eat. He’d normally sneak out after you fell asleep, he’d be quiet and lock up. Then he’d message you one or two days later asking if you could meet again and if he could come over. Tonight, he was coming over after his theater rehearsal, and he said he was bringing takeout. You had never talked about what you were, if anything at all besides fuck buddies, and a part of you wanted to clear the air, while the other part didn’t want to mention it in case it would ruin whatever you had. You didn’t want a relationship yet but you had wanted some clear title on the situation.

You throw on a cozy sweater, take off your bra, and then put on a pair of cheekie underwear. You decide to veg out since you had some free time and it would still be a while before Adam would show up. Your two dogs, Benji and Barney, beagle mix brothers you rescued, join you on the couch. After you put on the same show you’ve been binge-watching lately, and before you know it you’re dozing off.

TWO WEEKS AGO

This was a limited release party hosted by one of your friends, and things seemed to be going well until you could hear an altercation taking place. When you move towards the scene, you can see a petite blonde woman screaming at a large, dark-haired man. Before you can step in between them, she takes her drink and throws at him, the liquid going all over his face, hair, and shirt. As you go towards the woman to tell her to get out before you call the police, she’s out the door. The man tries to dry himself off and is somehow un-stunned by the woman’s reaction. You go up to him, offer him a napkin. He takes it and says, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Hold on, I have towels in the back. C’mon.” You say and you can tell the man takes a moment to register your statement because there’s a pause before he follows you. Trotting towards the back linen closet, you can’t help but look over your shoulder at the man. First, he’s much taller than you, and broad-shouldered. Second, he’s got a unique looking face that you find very attractive. And the hair, you’re a sucker for good hair. Your night has definitely become more interesting. You can see him eying you up too, or at least you hope that’s what he’s doing.

You hand the man the towel, and he gives you a slight smile. As he wipes himself off, he says again, “Thanks, you really didn’t have to help me.”

“Now, c’mon I couldn’t just let that happen, unless you deserved it.” You say as he hands you the towel back, and you notice how his hand brushes yours ever so lightly. He raises his eyebrows and says, “That happens a lot with us. I usually deserve it.”

“Did you cheat? Are you an abusive asshole?” You ask and he shakes his head no to your inquiry. You tell him, “Then you didn’t deserve that.”

“I’m Adam, by the way. Adam Sackler.” He says and offers you his hand. You take it and introduce yourself to him. He then asks, “Do you work here? You look familiar.”

“I actually own it. That’s why I know where all the towels and good stuff is. I’m also an agent, hence the party.” You answer and you see him smile at you. “Damn that’s impressive. I’m an actor and I write some too. I did a short film not long ago.”

“Aren’t you the Torpica guy?” It clicks in your head that’s why he looks vaguely familiar. He however, looks embarrassed and starts defending himself, “Shamefully yes. I routinely get told from guys that they can’t get their dick hard on Torpica.”

You laugh at his last comment before asking him, “Broadway or non-Broadway?”

“Broadway for now. I’m in The Seagull.” You’re impressed, The Seagull is one of your favorites, and Broadway is always huge for actors. He must be talented you think to yourself. His eyes lock onto yours like a predator locking unto prey. Just not yet though. You move slightly away from him and start walking back to the party. He follows you, and soon the two of you are mingling with others at the party like you never met.

Honestly, you’re a bit disappointed because you thought that was going somewhere. Maybe that’s why the girl threw her drink on him in the first place. It was New York after all, you could end up seeing him again and again, or he’d become a ghost you’d only see once. Time would tell.

********

Apparently, Adam would not be rid of so easily. The next day your shop opens, he strolls in within a half-hour of opening. At first, he tries to appear oblivious, looking through the shelves, then stealing a glance from you before he finally decides to approach you. You smile and he gives you a crooked smile that makes your heart flutter.

“Hey, I guess I wanted to see you again.” Adam says when he’s only feet in front of you. You raise your eyebrows in fake shock, step away from the register, then ask, “Really? Are you intrigued?”

“Very, very intrigued.” He says and his eyes stay locked with yours. The sensuality is practically rolling off this guy, even if he’s not the best at small talk. You’re going to have to step it up a notch than you usually use on your conquests, so you ask, “What do you want to know about me?”

“Everything. Or whatever you want me know.” He stammers, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. You begin moving around the store, Adam joins you, and you chuckle as you tell him, “Good catch. Not looking for a stalker.”

Before you know it, the two of you are in chairs side by side in the classics nook on the upper level. You had to have your employee, Annie, cover your post downstairs. Adam had been here for two hours, and the two of you talked bad dates and bad nights. You were surprised to hear that a woman throwing a drink on him wasn’t even in his top ten. You then moved onto your favorite books, writers, poets. Then he says, “You’re a fan of the classics, then?”

“I certainly am. But how did you know? My favorites were varied.” You ask back, leaning into him, then you take a drink of your coffee. He responds with, “This the first real place you took me in this big store. We’ve been here the longest.”

“You do pay attention. It’s very calming up here.” You stand up and start browsing the shelves that you already check every day. Adam comes up beside you and you can feel the heat rolling off his body. The two of you start talking about the classics: which ones are overrated, which ones are underrated, and which are wrongly categorized. He asks you what you’re currently reading and he’s surprised that you’re on a poetry kick, mainly a female poetry kick. He confesses he’s read a lot of Chekhov to help him with the role. This chitter-chatter between you feels effortless and natural, even when it’s awkward at times. When his eyes hit 100 Years of Solitude, he adds, “I once dated a girl who was related to Gabriel Garcia Marquez.”

“Okay, I’ll admit you certainly live a very interesting life. Now I’m curious about your other relationships? Mainly the girl who caused the scene in my store.” You say and you’re wondering if he’ll open to you, or if the wall will come up. It’s really none of your business, but the fact he brushed off that incident with the drink makes you wonder what his love life must normally be like.

“That was Jessa, and that was a whole clusterfuck of a situation. It was batshit crazy. But it’s kind of a long story.” He admits and runs his hands through his hair. You turn to smirk at him, angling your body to lean against the bookshelf while you purposefully graze your fingers along the back of his hand, “I have time.”

Then, you hear about his soapbox of past relationships. Hannah, fuck Hannah, Natalia, also a bitch, MiMi Rose, who was just awful, and Jessa, queen of toxicity. That’s why you never really wasted time dating or in relationships, they get so fucked up so fast. You listen to his side of the story, only commenting to let him know you’re still paying attention to him. He has flaws like anyone does but you can’t imagine anyone treating him poorly. Adam seemed like a sincere and genuine person. He then tells you, “You know, I don’t think anyone’s ever just listened to me before. Except you, that was nice.”

“No problem, I’m sorry you’ve had such rough luck in relationships.” You say back and you really didn’t mind listening to him. He was funny, charming, and nice to be around, listening to him was easy.

“I brought most of it on myself. What about you?” He admits. That’s the million dollar question. Every guy you’ve ever been interested in or has been interested in you, wants to know. You hate discussing it, and normally you’d leave mystery around it, but Adam was open and honest with you. You should be open and honest with him.

“I don’t really date or do relationships. I’ve had one serious boyfriend in the last five years.” Your eyes drift downwards even though you try to prevent them from giving in. What it is about this man that makes you feel vulnerable and is turning your world upside down after two days? Adam gently places his hand on your shoulder, trying to cheer you up from your sudden downshift in mood. When you look up at him, his amber eyes look confused like he’s trying to work out a difficult math problem in his mind. He finally asks you, “Why not? No doubt you must have men crawling over you all the time.”

“Commitment issues. It’s just not my thing.” You try to brush it off. Adam’s not fazed by your negativity or your attempt to push him away. It seems to strengthen his resolve.

“Well, if you think that’s going to deter me, you don’t know how persistent I can be.” He says while giving you a smile. Most men you would blatantly shot down by now, or you would eat them alive, but something about Adam felt right, and it felt good. And it terrified you.

*****

The next evening, he shows up as you’re closing up the shop. You invite him to come with you to a party, and you’re surprised that he agrees without hesitation. The party is in a penthouse in Noho, owned by one of your acquaintances. She was the type who was born into money, so she hopped from thing to thing, been in and out of school several times. She was one of your writers, for a short time before she moved onto something else, but apparently she liked you well enough to invite you to her ragers. You and Adam make your way towards the bar, where you order your usual drink and you’re surprised when he orders seltzer water.

“You don’t drink?” You ask. He tells you, “I’m an alcoholic.”

“Damn, if I had known I wouldn’t have invited you here. I didn’t even think.” You feel bad, you just assumed he wouldn’t have a problem with the party. Now you felt bad that you could be tempting him or making him feel uncomfortable. It must show on your face because he leans in, and touches your shoulder saying, “It’s really okay. Don’t feel bad about it.”

You nod your head, and you eye the dance floor. He watches you, then he offers his hand, and asks you dance. He has crazy dance moves and you can’t hide how it makes you smile. You throw your classic, go-to moves. Then he pulls you into him, spins you and dips you. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. You come back up, and your body is flush against his, you can feel every muscle he has, even his heart beating in his chest. You can smell his cologne, and you’re feeling lightheaded, not from the alcohol but from him.

Adam’s face is inches from you, you can feel his breath on your cheek. You think he’s leaning to kiss you, but instead his hand moves to the small of your back as he whispers in your ear, “Want to get out of here?”

“Sure.” You smile, he grabs your hand and you move your way through the crowd.

*****

About an hour later, you’re sitting in this eclectic diner across from Adam and you’re still trying to read him. He’s certainly very interesting and tells you about himself while at the same time telling you nothing really. You decide to appraise him with your three question game.

“Bookstore, e-book, or audio book?” You ask as you take a drink of coffee. His answer is bookstore. Check. “London, Paris, or Florence?” “Mac and cheese, sushi, or Mexican?” “Fitzgerald, Wilde, Kafka?” “How do you take your coffee?” He answers all of your questions satisfactorily. You’ve decided that you’re taking him home tonight, but you have to check off a few more rational boxes first.

“Criminal record?” This one makes him laugh and he explains how his one ex called the cops on him. You think he’s explained enough, so you move on to the next major question. “Married or in a relationship?”

“Single” He says with emphasis. He already explained that the British blonde chick was Jessa, his ex who he still fucked sometimes. Next, “STDs,” you ask coolly, watching closely for any reactions. He answers with, “I’m clean and get routinely checked.”

“Where do you live?” He tells you Prospect Heights, and that is a shock to you though he does definitely strikes you as a Brooklyn guy. Then, the most important question you do a drum roll on the table before leaning in to ask in a low voice, “How often do you masturbate?’

“Twice a day at least,” he says like it’s no big deal, like you just asked him his favorite food. You can’t hold back a laugh. You’re pleased with his honesty, and raise your hand to request the check. Then, the two of you were in your apartment, with him fucking you from behind on the couch. You later moved to your bedroom, where you rode him, then you woke up that morning to him eating you out. So yeah, you were impressed. You had never had that many orgasms from a partner before.

Later that morning, after he makes you eggs for breakfast, he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, you lean into him. After giving your head a quick kiss, he says, “We should do this again sometime. I had a good time, I think you had a good time. Or I can take you a date.”

You feel yourself tense involuntarily. Adam removes himself from you, so he’s now standing in front of you, waiting for an explanation. It’s not fair how perfect he looks, how are you supposed to have this conversation when an Adonis is standing in front of you? You tell him, “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m not really the dating type, relationships make me feel claustrophobic.”

“Really? I don’t believe you” He says in a sing-song voice as he leans in to press kisses on your each of your cheeks, and then down your neck. Your hands go straight to his hair again to lace through the soft tresses. You feel your voice get airy and your concentration starts to go as you say, “Yeah, I’m too busy, kind of self-involved, and I’m not the type who goes to meet your family, goes out for anniversaries or anything.”

“So what do you do then?” He murmurs against the skin of your collarbone, where he’s now left a bruise. His lips don’t stop caressing your skin, grazing the tops of your breasts, and you can feel his hand slip the back of your thigh. You grab onto his hair, and bring his face to meet yours. His pupils are darkened with lust, and you answer his question with, “Liaisons. I do liaisons.”

Adam inches forward to kiss you softly, and it’s you that asks for more, running your tongue along his bottom lip. He grants you entrance as his hands go to cup your face, then rest on your neck. You’re stunned by the passion and sweetness of this kiss, you really might be a goner for this guy. He pulls away, his face turns serious, then he tells you, “I promise I won’t take you to meet my family, but I do really like you so no long term promises.”

“I can guarantee that you’ll want me to meet your family. I like you too.” You chuckle back, and he starts laughing too. His large hands palm your ass, before moving upward to rest at your waist. This affection is nice, nearly addictive. His eyes flicker when he asks, “What happens now?”

“We fuck. Hard.” You say and he’s on you kissing you, as he picks you up to head towards the bedroom once again.

********

PRESENT

You’re awoken from your nap by Adam buzzing into your apartment. The noise makes Benji and Barney howl slightly. You try to shush them as you go to let Adam in. Once you open the door, he eyes you up and down. You suddenly feel self-conscious because you’re still not really dressed and your hair is up in a messy bun. Adam looks like he wants to eat you.

“You look hot as fuck.” He says and quickly follows you inside. You barely make it through the door before he’s on you. He drops the takeout, and his jacket to press you against the door. His lips crush yours, and his tongue is instantly licking into your mouth. Your hands fly around his shoulders to run through his hair as he grinds his hips into you, he’s rock hard already. His lips descend upon your neck while his hand makes its way into your panties. His fingers waste no time dragging along your wet folds.

“So wet, already? My dirty slut ready for my cock?” He taunts while his thumb circles your clit, and he thrusts his middle and index finger into you. You moan while his other hand squeezes your tits. You’re going to cum soon if he doesn’t slow down, apparently he’s in that kind of mood because your moans only encourage him to add more pressure, and rub circles fervently. You feel the pleasure build in your lower stomach, and creep down your legs, then Adam abruptly stops his ministrations to your chagrin.

“Ah, what the fuck?” you groan. Adam’s fingers are still between your legs, his thumb drawing light circles on your clit. He looks so smug, with a sly smile and blown out pupils.

“You didn’t answer my question. Answer and you’ll get to come.”

“Yes, your dirty slut is ready for your cock, Please let me come.” His thumbs presses down on your clit again, and thrusts his fingers into you, crooking up to your spot. Then your orgasm rocks through, leaving your muscles to clench, while your head drops to your shoulders. He watches you as you come down, then he picks you, you wrap your legs around his waist. You kiss him everywhere your lips can reach and your hands search under his shirt for his skin. He sets you down on top of your table with your legs spread wide, and he’s placed himself in between them.

You reach to pull off his shirt as he then pulls yours off too. He then turns to your panties and they’re quickly removed from you. As you kiss him, your hands unbuckle his belt, unbutton his jeans and start working his cock. Your hand jerks his cock and spreads the bead of precum around the tip. He moans and thrust into your hand.

“Can’t wait any longer to fuck you.” He says as he guides his cock into you. You lean back nearly flat against the table and pull your legs up to give him the deepest angle. His thrusts start off rough and hard, then are more drawn out, leaving you both moaning. He picks up the pace again, you can hear the sound of your bodies slapping together, his balls smacking against your ass. He leans into to kiss you, you hitch your leg behind his hip, while his hand sneaks down to work your clit. Your second orgasm is building fast and you can tell from his thrusts he’s close too.

“Ah, I’m gonna come!” You shout, then you clench around him. There’s filth coming out of his mouth.

“ Fuck, your cunt is milking is my cock! Such a cumslut! Where does my cumbucket want me to cum?” He says jaggedly. You tell him, “Cum on my tits, I want you to cum on my tits.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he curses as he pulls out and pumps himself. Soon, there’s streams of his cum on your chest and on your stomach. You both catch your breath, then he kisses you sweetly, retrieves his shirt and cleans you up. You thank him and get up to recover the takeout that he left by the door. Silently, you heat up a plate for yourself then one for him. You take the plates over to your coffee table in front of your couch. Adam looks very distressed for some unknown reason, you hope he didn’t want to actually eat on that table after you fucked on it.

“Adam, is something wrong?” You finally ask while you shovel food in your mouth. You’re starving so if he’s having a post-coital meltdown it will have to coincide with dinner.

“Are you mad at me?” He asks and you have no idea why he thinks that you’re mad.

“No, why would I be mad?” You ask.

“You know I have no idea what I say before I cum. I didn’t mean anything I said about you” He answers and looks down.

“Oh my gosh, I’m not mad at you. Do you seriously think I’d let you stay here if I was offended or thought you meant it?” You tell him. What he said during sex didn’t bother you at all, that was how dirty talk worked. Of course he didn’t mean it seriously.

“I guess not.” He says then smiles before finally digging into the takeout.

“I happen to like your dirty talk, I find it very sexy.” You say and stand up to take your plate to the dishwasher. You’re sure to perk your ass out as you walk in front of him, enjoying seeing how his eyes follow you.

The next morning you wake to find yourself surrounded by a hulk of man sleeping beside you, or precisely, partially on top of you. Adam must have stayed the night after round two. You had always considered yourself in touch with your sexuality, but with Adam you felt utterly insatiable, always wanting more. No matter how many times you came. You maneuver out of bed towards shower. You let the hot water relax you, then as you’re lathering up, Adam joins you.

After yet another round of fucking, you’re now both fully dressed and ready to go about your days. The two of you walk out of your apartment building, and once you’re on the street, he pulls you flush against him, asking, “When can I see you again?”

“Don’t get attached to me, I’ll break your little heart. But you really want to do this?” You ask and he nods his head yes. This would be your time to define this relationship. You pull him back in the street to give the two of you some privacy. He says, “I want to do whatever you want me to do. No labels, or labels, I don’t give a shit. I want to be with you.”

“Alright. Friends with benefits then. I’m free from Sunday to Tuesday afternoons, but sometimes catch up on work those days. I work long hours at the store on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday because there are readings, book clubs and releases. I hate getting up early in the morning, and am monster without coffee. In the bedroom, I like some choking, bdsm. I’ll try any toy, I’ve never done anal but I’m willing to try it with the right partner. I’m on birth control but I’d still prefer you to wear condoms and come outside sometimes. Just don’t come in my hair. But I’m sure you already know half of that.” You say, taking a deep breath and he’s followed your whole statement as evidence by his slightly amused face. He kisses you deeply, pushing you against the brick wall and says, “I think can do all of those things.”

“I’ll come by your place, tonight then.” He says as he walks down the street and you smile and nod your assent. You’re looking forward to seeing him again, and wonder how long he’ll stick around. Normally, your dalliances never lasted more than a month or two, but Adam was unique.

#adam sackler #adam sackler x reader #adam driver #adam sackler smut #reader insert

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queenlists · 4 years

Text

Meet the Family

A/N: I’m back! I haven’t posted since last year haha. I’ve been unexpectedly sick these past few weeks, so I’ve been MIA and not being productive in story writing. Hopefully, I’ll be able to manage a steady flow. Fingers crossed. We’re at 76 followers! That’s insane. Thank you all for your support whether you follow or not. Every heart, reblog, and comment are all greatly appreciated and they don’t go unnoticed. I can not thank you all enough. I decided to start adding the link to the masterlist at the bottom, so if you want to check out more stories there you go! I hope you all had a great holiday season and I also hope you all enjoy this story involving the Winchesters and Bobby Singer ✌

Post Date: 1/3/2020

He makes me happy. Happy beyond compare to anything and anyone else. He ticked all the boxes: tall, handsome, gentle, and the personality of a saint. He always knows just what to say. He always knows what to do. He knows me like the back of his hand.

“I want to meet your family,” I smiled, interlocking our fingers together. “I don’t think that's a good idea,” Sam raised our interlocked hands up to kiss the back of my hand, but I tugged my hand away from him before he could "Why not?” Sam clenched his jaw, looking away before sighing “It’s complicated.”

“I know it's complicated. You've said that before, but we've been together for a year now. Things between us are serious. You've met my family many times! I think it's time for me to meet yours as well." Sam stayed silent for a long time, swimming in his own thoughts. I watched him clench and unclench his jaw about a thousand times. I watched as his knee bounced, shaking the car. I watched as his hands balled into tight fists revealing his veins. I watched him go over what I said about a million times in his head, shaking away the bad. I kicked myself for even pushing this on him. It's been a year. I know enough to know that his family is everything, but functional. Sam is an open book as long as it isn't about his past. All I know about his family is that his mom passed away and he was basically raised by his older brother, Dean in sketchy motel rooms living off of candy, soda, and gas station food. Sighing, I wrapped my arms around Sam's neck "Listen, I'm sorry for pushing you. I know this is hard for you. I'm just eager to meet them, but I'm not going to force it. You know them better than I ever would. When you say it's time, I'll be ready," I smiled as a big smile spread across his face. Sam gently placed his hands on my hips, pulling me onto his lap and right into a very heated makeout.

“No, you’re right. It’s time you met my family. It’s only fair,” I watched as Sam’s jawbone poked out and his Adam’s apple bobbed along with his heavy sighs. I stayed quiet, but I felt the tension pouring out of my usually smiling boyfriend. I peppered his bare chest with gentle kisses as I stroked his sweaty hair "Are you sure?" "Yes, I think it's now or never." Sam pulled me up to face him, smoothing out my messy hair. "No matter what, I'll always love you," I promised, wiping away the beaded sweat on his forehead. Sam propped himself up on the seat, holding out his pinky. I giggled before locking our pinkies together. Sam put his hands back on my hips, biting his lip while smirking "Round two?"

After what seemed like the longest driveway in the world, we pulled up to an old country house. I felt my nerves start to get the best of me as Sam took the warm plastic Chinese takeaway bag from my lap "Ready?" I bit my lip, looking around at all of the different cars, car parts, and tires scattered around. "It's now or never." I slowly got out of the car, grabbing the two grocery bags full of drinks and snacks.

Holding hands, we made our way inside. I automatically took note of my surroundings. There was a smell of beer in the air and a lot of laughter along with a TV blaring in the background. “Sam, is that you?” I heard heavy footsteps approaching as I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. Sam's grip on my hand tightened, I made it a point to not look at his facial expression as my heart uncomfortably pounded in my chest. In walks in an older man, peppered hair and scruff on his face. By the way, Sam tensed up I could tell that this was the infamous John Winchester.

John's eyes were fixated on Sam as he locked himself in place, not moving an inch. Sam cleared his throat "Dad, this is (Y/n)," "Yeah, I figured. I’ve told you and Dean both time and time again to stop bringing these people home! We have jobs to do. You two get so wrapped in love and sex. You want (Y/n) to become Jessica? Is that what you want, Sam? That's what's gonna happen!" John yelled, startling me. I whimpered at his voice and his strong disapproval as another man walked in. Way younger than John, but older than Sam. Must be Dean. Sam dropped the bags and lunged towards his father, pushing him against the wall. "Sam, no!" I screamed out before I could move, Dean already had Sam pulled away from John "What the hell is going on?" "Dad thinks (Y/n) is going to end up like Jessica," Sam sniffled, shaking his head. "Why would you say that?" Dean turned to John, shaking his head.

I quickly ran outside to catch my breath. It was all too much. More than I expected. "(Y/n), wait!" I quickly turned around to face Sam who was running over to me, his eyes red-rimmed. "Who's Jessica?" I whimpered. Sam's eyes pooled with tears "My ex. She was murdered by something we're hunting," I shook my head, confused. Sam took a deep breath as tears escaped from his eyes and slid their way down to his chin "We hunt monsters. Vampires, werewolves, shifters, demons, whatever is out there. Whatever killed my mom, killed Jessica." I stared into Sam's eyes as he explained. He revealed everything from start to now. I learned about his family including his uncle, Bobby. He didn’t spare me any details. Every word that came out, the more relaxed Sam got. I watched the weight roll off his shoulder with every sentence. This weight he carried was being revealed, giving him immense relief. All the mystery was gone. All of my unasked questions were getting answers. Normally, I'd laugh at something like this and say my goodbyes, but not now. Not with Sam. The way Sam spoke. The way his body tensed as he talked about certain events in his life. The tears. The cracks in his voice. It was real. This is real.

"That's why he's angry. It has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with the risk of you getting hurt." Sam sighed, looking at me for some sort of response. I cleared my throat as I searched for words. This was unfathomable. "Dracula?" was all I was able to squeak out. Sam immediately busted into a deep belly kind of laughter. I watched as he doubled over, red in the face laughing. I couldn't help, but to join him. It lasted for a short period of time, but all of the stress that this meeting has caused was relieved at that moment. "No, no. There's no Dracula," "I just didn't know what to say. We pinky promised that I'd love you no matter what. Only fools break pinky promises." Sam lifted me up into a passionate kiss that quickly turned heated. Carrying me back to the car, he laid me down ready to really relieve the stressors of the night. Our heated moment came to an abrupt end when we heard a loud gasp. Red in the face, we both looked towards the gasp to see not only a pissed-off Dean but a disapproving John and an amused Bobby "Hey! No, no, no, no, no. Not in Baby! You better not defile her or I swear," Dean warned. "Really, Sam?" John shook his head. "The boy is turning into Dean!" Bobby laughed as Dean shot him a glare “Really, Bobby?”

The night ended on a high note. We ate reheated Chinese, watched old movies, drank, laughed, told stories, and joked around. Bobby invited me to stay the night as it was too late and the fun wasn't over. The worse meet the family moment turned into the best night of my life. I wouldn't have wanted this any other way. Sam laid a blanket over me as I slept on the couch. I never was one to drink, so I ended up passing out for the night before anyone else. "Sam," "Yeah, dad?" Sam stepped back away from me to look at his father. "You need to keep her," John smiled at Sam, pulling him into a hug.

masterlist

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aethelflaedladyofmercia · 4 years

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Pining

I can’t decide if this was the most or the least obvious route to take, but here we go: day 11 of @drawlight‘s advent challenge.

Totally lighthearted fluff this time, since the chapter I posted to AO3 was pretty dark. But it was fun!

11 - Pine (1,642)

Pine: To yearn intensely and persistently for something unattainable.

The first thing Aziraphale ever remembered wanting was a twig of evergreen.

“It’s the smell I miss, really,” he explained over the campfire, out of sight of the humans in their camp. He and Crawley sometimes waited out the nighttime hours together, mulling over their thoughts of the world. “The other plants just don’t smell the same.”

“I wouldn’t know,” said Crawley, who hadn’t actually paid attention to the smells in Eden. “Any particular kind?”

“Oh, I don’t know. White pine? Or black? I don’t think it matters.”

The next day, Crawley disappeared, as he sometimes did. Aziraphale kept a sharp eye on the humans, to make sure the serpent wasn’t causing trouble again, but no sign of him there.

After almost a week, the demon returned, bearing a branch of black pine, the sap still sticky and fresh. “Saw some of this when they sent me up north,” he said, handing it over.

It smelled even better than Aziraphale remembered.

The first thing that Aziraphale really missed – in a deep, intense way – was a song played on a reed flute, the words lost to time.

“I don’t know why I miss it so,” he sighed, a century after he’d last heard it. “It just popped into my head one day and I felt... sad.”

“Nostalgic, probably,” corrected Crawley, sampling a new ale. “How did it go?”

“You know the one. “Dee-dum-dee-dum-dee-da-dee-dum.”

“Devastatingly beautiful,” Crawley laughed. “That could be any song!”

“Fine. It was the one we heard that first time we went to Knossos.”

The demon nodded slowly this time. “Ah, that was a lovely song. Whoever wrote it really understood pain.”

“I don’t know about pain, but…” Aziraphale sighed, looking out the window, feeling the strange lethargy take him again. “Lately I’ve not been able to get it out of my head. Something to do with the long nights and cold weather, I’m sure.”

Four evenings later, Aziraphale suddenly heard a strange, high wailing sound outside the inn where he was staying. He rushed out to find Crawley with a reed flute he’d made himself, carousing drunkenly in the street, trying to play the lost tune.

The angel had very nearly laughed himself sick before taking the flute for himself. By the morning they’d managed to mostly reconstruct the song.

They invented new lyrics – in Aziraphale’s, a tiny bird flew home in the spring; in Crawley’s the bird ate some strange berries and got very ill all over town. The angel wanted to scold him, but he was too busy laughing.

The longest Aziraphale ever yearned for something, was during the years he spent in Rome, working alongside the imperial family, influencing the younger members towards good.

He would never admit how draining the job was, how isolated it made him feel. He longed for simple companionship, someone he could talk to, even just for a day. Someone he could be himself around, instead of playing a part.

Then he’d heard a familiar grumbling – turning to the counter of the thermopolium, he saw a figure in black toga (if you could call that a toga) and red hair. He jumped up, abandoning his table and his game, determined to seize this opportunity no matter what.

Though he probably should have taken a moment to come up with something to say first.

Still, several plates of oysters and copious amounts of wine later, they ambled back up the street, passing the last jug back and forth between them, Crowley quite nearly smiling.

“My dear fellow, what is that thing on your head?”

“Oh, I forgot.” He pulled off the laurel wreath, studying the silver leaves where they reflected the moonlight. “Won this, you know. Fair and square.”

“You had a sussez-suckstes- victorious military campaign?” Aziraphale took another sip of wine. “Awarded a triumph an’ all?”

“Nah. Just arm wrestled a general.” He chuckled, tossing the wreath in the air, and trying to catch it – missing it, so that it clattered and rolled away up the street. “Caligula said it was the greatest military victory he’d ever seen.”

“I’m starting to think that child does not have much of a background in warfare,” Aziraphale opined as Crowley snatched the wine away.

“You get executed for saying things like that,” Crowley scolded.

The angel gave his best look of utter shock, rubbing at his throat, until he and Crowley both burst into gales of laughter, stumbling against each other in the street.

The thing Aziraphale wanted the most was for Crowley to be safe. This, perhaps, went on longer than any other desire, but it rose and fell, moved from the front of his mind to the back, pushed aside but never fulfilled.

He felt it in the fifteenth century, and the sixteenth, and the seventeenth. Meeting in taverns and tea houses and theaters, trading jobs, planning miracles and temptations together.

Again and again a worry rose within him, this could go wrong, they could find out, they could hurt him, destroy him.

But he didn’t allow the desperate fear of it to overtake him until the day he thought Crowley might destroy himself. “Just insurance,” he said.

Aziraphale put his foot down. He couldn’t – wouldn’t – give Crowley the means to end his own life, to take that smile and that laugh and those beautiful eyes out of the world, even if it was to end his suffering.

There was only one other way to keep him safe.

And so for over 80 years he didn’t want anything. Even if the demon hated him, even if they never saw each other again, Crowley was safe, and what else could possibly matter?

Until the day Crowley danced up the aisle of a church and back into his life, saving him, saving his books, and giving him a smug grin and a lift home.

And Aziraphale realized that wanting things could get very complicated indeed.

One August night when the world hadn’t ended, Aziraphale stepped onto a bus back from Oxford, his mind racing with wishes and fears and regrets and things longed for but never named.

When Crowley sat down, the angel sat beside him, shaking hand grasping the edge of his seat, so close the knuckles were just shy of where Crowley’s fingers lay limply at his side.

“You must have wanted this,” Aziraphale suddenly spoke, breaking the silence of at least ten minutes. “For a very long time.”

“Hmm?” Crowley, exhausted, emotionally wrung out, had nearly fallen asleep where he sat. “Wanted what?”

Aziraphale opened his mouth, but found that he didn’t have any words. Not for the first time that night, the tears filled his eyes.

“Hey,” Crowley turned toward him, their knees just touching. “Don’t…don’t be afraid. We’re going to think of something.” How could his voice be so gentle? So calm?

“I…I don’t think I am afraid.”

“You’d be mad not to be. Isn’t this what you’ve been worried about all along? That they’d find out about…about us?”

“Oh, I’m terrified of that.” Aziraphale almost laughed, still trying to blink his eyes clear. “But… us. I don’t think I’m afraid of that anymore.”

Slowly, carefully, with utmost certainty, his hand drifted across the last few inches of space and clasped Crowley’s.

Behind black lenses, the demon’s unreadable eyes stared at their hands. “Are you… are you sure? Is this what you want?”

Aziraphale wiped his eyes with his free hand. “I don’t have the first idea what I want. I just know…” with a watery smile, he lifted their hands to rest together where their knees met. “Any time I’ve ever wanted anything, it’s been you there to bring it to me. Even when I didn’t really know what I wanted, you were always there.”

Crowley turned his hand, threading the fingers through Aziraphale’s, letting the warmth of it fill them both.

“And I think…” the angel continued. “I think that’s what I want. Whether we have another six thousand years or only tonight, I want you to be there. With me.”

“Ok.” It wasn’t even a whisper, just a movement of the mouth, a nod. Crowley squeezed Aziraphale’s hand, brought it to rest against his cheek. “Ok.”

He couldn’t help shivering just a little from the thrill of it. Aziraphale had to almost fight to keep from doing something that would ruin the moment. “So, ah, so that’s why I said. You must have wanted this for a long time. I’ve…I’ll admit I’ve not thought about it nearly as much as I should, but I suppose I at least missed out on any pining. You, though…”

“Pining?” Suddenly the gentleness was gone from Crowley’s voice. “You think I’ve been pining?” He threw back his head and laughed, hands falling again to rest in his lap.

Embarrassed, realizing he’d ruined the moment anyway, Aziraphale tried to pull his hand back, but Crowley only clasped it harder.

“Angel, all I’ve wanted for six thousand years is to see you happy. And you were, most of the time, so I was, too.” He finally let go of Aziraphale’s hand, but only so he could clasp both shoulders. “People who pine are idiots who don’t appreciate what they already have. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but that is one I have never, ever made.”

Without thinking, Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley, pulling him close, resting his head against his demon’s heart, feeling those thin arms surround him, the long fingers bury themselves in his hair.

“Oh, my dear Crowley. I think it would take another six thousand years for me to learn to appreciate you.”

Aziraphale could feel the nod as Crowley’s chin brushed against him, felt the shaky breath pass his ear. “Well. We better make sure we’re around to enjoy that, huh?”

#good omens fanfiction #31 days of ineffables #ineffable husbands #aziraphale and crowley #aziraphale #crowley #fluff #romance #hand holding #they're a pair of adorable babies really #advent calendar #writing challenge #my writing

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serenityinsabr · 3 years

Note

How do you know Jules?? 🧐

Trigger Warning: Abuse

Oh god, I like gotta do a check-in with my therapist just from hearing that name. Y’all know me, I’m not in the business of bashing people I have dated, but this needs to be put out there.

We loosely dated for like 4-5 months, years ago. Like 2.5 years ago? They like manipulated me into a relationship that I wasn’t really given a choice of being in, in the beginning, which I didn’t realize until after. Like they straight up didn’t communicate, and then they were just like well I’m ready to date you so lets go, and my broken ass was like okaaay? Gut feelings are so important and I didn’t listen to mine.

They then proceeded to be one of most manipulative and toxic people I’ve ever met. I should’ve understood from the red flags of them constantly bashing EVERY single one of their exes and calling them all abusive. Also from them talking extremely badly about every single one of their friends, and then calling me controlling and telling their friends that I wouldn’t let them hang out with them, because I was like hey if they’re making you feel like shit, maybe don’t spend so much time with them? And then she would purposely ignore them because they were “being toxic” or getting on her nerves, meanwhile telling them it’s cause of me? She basically played everyone.

I would literally have her yelling and cursing at me while I was asking her to please stop, AND she would simultaneously text her friends and be like “Nas is being aggressive,” to create a false narrative. I also should’ve seen the other red flags when she would straight up like call her Mom and Sister the most vilest things... Furthermore she put up this front of being super liberal, but like she definitely made a lot of racist/xenophobic remarks, refused to acknowledge her privilege, did sooo many microaggressions. She refused to believe sexual assault/rape victims that didn’t share their stories and would dismiss instances she didn’t believe. She constantly would lash out at me because her life was stressful due to her inability to manage the stressors in them, and then would expect me to piece everything together for her, and then would then be pissed off whenever I couldn’t fix a situation for her. Like she decided to take in a cat from her friend and then didn’t coordinate how to transport them and then didn’t coordinate a living situation so their Mom had to take the cat in, but guess who paid to transport them AND still got yelled at. God, it was so bad. That “relationship” was the literally the last straw of me ever allowing someone to treat me like that.

Dude, I can go on for days. I was really heartbroken from my previous relationship, which she knew and she used to manipulate and gaslight me. She knew my Dad recently passed, that I was going through a lot, that I was an Empath and someone who would do anything for those in my life and she took advantage of all of it. She also knows that because she comes from a wealthy, WHITE family and has friends who she knows how to perfectly manipulate and that refuse to check her, that her small circle of people would never think twice but to believe whatever she says. We literally broke up because I had enough and I was “hey you’re a terrible person,” and somehow even that turned into me being the bad person. Prior to that I had sooo many talks with her about not yelling at me, cursing at me, her codependency, unhealthy attachment and toxicity issues. I suggested multiple times that we weren’t healthy for one another and that our relationship wasn’t working, but she kept pushing for us to be together. I think when I finally had the guts to call her out on not being a good person, it clicked that she couldn’t manipulate me anymore. My thoughts are she wanted to create the narrative of me being that bad guy because I was the only person willing to call her on her crap.

For the longest time, I thought staying more quiet about the situation was the right path, like I have talked about it to my therapist, friends, etc and I have somewhat posted about it on here, and I just don’t like the idea of bashing someone, but I’m done with that. I know if you’re asking this, they’re probably still partaking in defamation and libel because that’s what manipulators do. They can’t control you, so they try to control the narrative.

I literally took a Domestic Violence course after that situation because she was so damn emotionally/mentally abusive. And at first I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but given the random Anons I get, I know she’s cognizant of what she’s doing. I know she’s still pushing a narrative and I’m so over it. To the point where I’m ready to take legal action because what they’ve done is so messed up. The fact that she thinks she can just try to create a false narrative about me because she’s a white woman from a wealthy family, and I’m a person of color who comes from a working class background and doesn’t have money like that is sooo beyond f*cked up. The fact that she knows I’m from what is considered a more “rough” area, I’m Muslim, and Middle Eastern and that she can easily paint a shitty image of me is so freaking disgusting.

That being said, if you follow me, and you follow lovetrickeryandirony, please do not talk to me about them, and please consider not interacting with them. I have had them blocked for 2.5 years, but apparently they still feel the need to be be toxic. Everyone who knows me knows that I’m very reserved and I don’t like to put these parts of my life out there, I prefer to proces them privately, but I just can’t with this one anymore. It took a whole lot of courage to answer this, and speak on this, but it’s important for me to say what happened, because these aren’t the kind of situations where “being the bigger person” applies. I’m sorry if you still want to follow them, please just do me the favor of unfollowing me.

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swiftlymoniquesblog · 5 years

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A Christmas Like No Other- Sam x Reader (Requested)

Requested by @cigarettesandcoffeetalk: Can we get a cutesy sam x reader like they've known each other a while and are very flirtatious with each other but she insists it's platonic even though they both like each other. I think it's cute and I'd write one but nursing school doesn't give me time thanks love your account!

Warnings: Pining, FLUFF!

Word Count: 2342

A/N: I got carried away with this one! This is my longest single post ever plus the first-holiday one! Since Sam doesn’t like Halloween, here is a Christmas one!

As always, master and prompt lists are found in this post. Tag list requests are open for all works or single works. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Xxx Monique

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, or Black Friday as others know it, and the buzz of Christmas is already floating around the Bunker. You had invited other hunters that you knew were close by and decided to have a decorating party. Sam and Dean thought it was pretty silly to go to this extreme to decorate for Christmas, considering they never had a traditional Christmas celebration, but because they knew how much you loved this time of year, they went along with it, helping out in any way they could. Guests had started showing up and everyone was asked to bring their favorite decorations. Sure, holidays weren’t typically celebrated by hunters, but you wanted to make this year special.

“So, Bobby brought a tree, Donna and Jody have lights, tinsel, and ornaments for the tree, Jack found a box of stockings with more lights and tinsel, and Cas found a train to run under the tree. Anything else?” You ask Sam as he was tacking some decorations on the wall above you.

“Yeah, did you find a mistletoe? Maybe I can finally kiss those pretty lips of yours.” The younger Winchester joked to you, wiggling his eyebrows as he looked down at you.

“Yeah, you wish, Winchester.” You scoff, rolling your eyes at him.

You had Sam had been best friends since you moved into the Bunker roughly five years ago. At first, things were intense and quiet between you two, making things awkward and uncomfortable. You hated being anywhere near him because he never spoke to you or hardly acknowledged your presence until you finally demanded him to “buck up, be a man, and acknowledge me you friggin’ twit!” And since that day, after a year of the awkwardness, Sam made an effort to make sure you knew he cared about you. When you two were around one another, there were conversations about what house was better in Harry Potter, who would the other date in the Potter Universe, what kinds of spells would be the most fun or difficult to cast, if Quidditch was considered safe, and the various types of animals to adopt as pets. Dean had dubbed you two, Potter nerd 1 and Potter nerd 2. Then, you and Sam had been making all sorts of healthy foods to snack on and have as meals, to which Dean would argue and whine about like a child. He’d huff, grab Baby’s keys, and drive off to the nearest diner for his usual burger/beer/pie get up.

Things between you and Sam only grew closer with each passing day. You two would try to spend as much time together as possible but nothing more ever came from that. Everyone assumed and constantly asked if you two were dating because you were so alike and were always with one another, but you were just the best of friends. The flirting only starting happening within in the last year. Sam was normally not a flirt but he found a certain confidence that you never knew he had. Anytime he would flirt and make jokes about dating or kissing, anything like that, you would just roll your eyes and blush.

“Like what you see?” Sam said flirtatiously as he caught you staring at his exposed stomach that was revealed by his shirt, as he reached a little higher to string some lights outside.

You felt your cheeks redden up and you looked away from him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said.

“Yeah, okay (y/n/n). Hold the ladder so I don’t break my neck.” Sam says overly dramatic and turns to face the ladder. You stand at the bottom, hands on both sides, as he takes one step at a time, and slowly comes closer to you. You have to look away once more because his perfectly toned ass was striaght in your view.

“Oh sorry, was my ass in your way?” Sam smirked as he could tell you were staring at him.

“Whatever.” You say, rolling your eyes once again.

“You know, if you keep rolling your eyes, they’ll get stuck like that.” He points out and pokes your cheek.

“That’s impossible.” You say.

“Maybe, but it did make you smile.” He says with a proud little smile on his face that made your heart flutter. You had to admit, but never to him, that you had a crush on him, especially within the last year. Sam was your rock; you could talk to him about anything and everything. But what made you fall for him was the fact that he was there for you whenever you needed him. It could be two in the morning and you could’ve just had a nightmare and he’d be in your room in an instant to check up on you.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. You were just dreaming. I got you. I’m right here.” He would hold you in his lap and rock you until you fell asleep, snuggled face in his stomach. And he loved every minute of it.

Just like you, Sam would never admit he had real feelings for you. He had a hard exterior, much like Dean, but when you were around him, he could let his walls down and let you see the vulnerable side of him. Why he liked you so much, was because you were always honest with him and even when he was a complete jerk to you, you’d call him out on it and would stay by his side, regardless of what he said to you. You knew he never meant it and would apologize profusely when he came back around. Your loyalty was one of Sam’s favorite things about you. Even when Dean would give him space, you wouldn’t. You forced him to talk about whatever was going on but after some cooldown time. Yes, Sam loved you one hundred percent and he didn’t care who knew it, as long as it wasn’t you. Your friendship was too important to risk losing so he’d bury his feelings for you for the sake of staying in your life.

“Alrighty guys, I got some hot cocoa all fixed up; who wants some?” Donna said, coming into the main room from the kitchen.

“Ooh, me!” You yell and jump up, rushing into the kitchen with her.

Sam smiled fondly at you as he watched your childlike behavior and a few people took notice of him.

“Why don’t you just tell her?” Jody said, coming to stand right by the taller man.

“What are you talking about?” He says, looking over to the Sheriff.

“You love y/n. Everyone here can see it, Sam. She’s your best friend and by the looks of the way she interacts with you too, she loves you too.” Jody explains but Sam just shakes his head.

“I could never be with y/n. Come on, Jods, you know everyone I get close to gets hurt or freaking dies! I can’t lose her. I won’t lose her.”

“So, you’re going to spend the rest of your life being miserable because you can’t be with the woman you love? Seriously, Sam? You are a college graduate; you can’t be that dumb.”

“Look, Jody, I’ve been in love with y/n since the day I met her but I love her too much to let her get that close to me. And in a way, I think she knows that. She knows my history with relationships so we’ve never crossed those lines before.”

“I give up. But don’t you dare hurt that girl or I will hurt you.” Jody said.

“Of course not. I love her too much. I’d kill myself first before it ever comes to that.”

“What? Why the sad faces?” You say coming back into the room two cups of cocoa in your hand, one for you and one for Sam. You had tons of whipped cream on yours to which Sam couldn’t help but smile. He walks to you and takes a bit of the whipped cream on his index finger and then swipes your nose.

You gasp and yell, “SAM! Oh my gosh!”

“Hey y/n, you got a little something on your nose,” Dean said, looking confused at you.

“Tell me about it.” You say and just before you turn away to wipe the cream away, Sam grabs your wrist and has you turn to look at him. He leans down and licks the cream off your nose, the feeling of his tongue on your nose sent electric waves through your body.

“There. All gone.” He says in a soft tone and holds eye contact with you. Your heart was racing and you could hear it beating in your ears but he stepped around you and left you to think about what had just happened.

“Come on y/n, Bobby has the tree up!” Jack yelled, coming to see you and pull you into the living area where the very tall tree stood in a corner. There was already a red skirt underneath and all the decorations were out. For the next few hours, the room was filled with chatter and holiday music playing in the background; everyone working together to decorate the tree. Alas, after a good three hours, the tree was finished. Everyone took a step back to look at it before you made a rather corny joke.

“Hey Cas, would it be weird if we asked you to sit up there?” Everyone besides him and Jack laughed, not understanding that some traditions have angels on top of trees.

“That was a really bad joke, y/n,” Dean said.

“Yes, but that’s what I’m good at; telling bad jokes.” You shrug.

“And that’s why we love you,” Sam said, looking right at you, smiling softly.

This boy HAS TO STOP making me blush like this! You think to yourself. Damnit, Sammy.

You shake your head at him and rush outside, tears escaping in the process. You couldn’t handle it anymore. Just being around him, caused you to not be able to breathe anymore. You stood outside, in the front of the newly decorated Bunker, where Sam had put up lights from earlier, and began thinking everything over. There is no way Sam likes you, is there? You and he have been best friends for four of the five years you knew each other and then he started flirting with you like crazy. What could that even mean? He’s not normally known to flirt but lately? He was relentless and you couldn’t think straight. That was what you were afraid of; getting too close to him. You loved him so much but knew his track record with women and knew not to get too close. Yet, he wouldn’t let up on flirting so maybe he was okay with it? A relationship with you wouldn’t be anything like he had experienced before, you knew that much, but to get him to go along with a relationship, well that was the hardest thing you were going to do.

“Y/N!” You hear him call you so you quickly wipe your eyes, so he couldn’t see how upset you were. When he reached you, you turned from him, not wanting to see that considered puppy dog look.

“Were you crying?” Damnit, he knew.

“No.” You say and sniff.

“You’re a horrible liar.” He chuckles and you couldn’t look at him.

“Would you look at me?” Sam puts a hand on your cheek for you to look up at him.

There they were; those puppy dog eyes. “Why did you run?”

“Because I can’t be around you.”

“And why is that?”

“I can’t say.”

“You love me, don’t you?” He asks, in all seriousness. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish, trying to come to terms with what he was implying.

“Wha-what? No, pshhhhht. No, what are you? What are you talking about?”

Sam takes this as a way to finally make his move. He smirks as he steps closer to you and looks down at you.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” And before you could say a rebuttal, his lips slammed down on yours. You instantly kissed him back, stretching up on your tiptoes to gain better access to the much taller man as he leaned down closer to you. He held you close to him as his lips continued to devour yours. You felt a pang of throbbing in the back of your head because your mind was starting to go into overdrive. This was what you’ve been waiting for, for four years and you never wanted to stop. At some point, Sam had lifted you to his level so you both could reach each other better, his tongue pushing past your lips effortlessly, as you continued letting all your feelings out for one another. When you finally broke apart for air, you both had a difficult time catching your breath.

“Let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here,” Sam said, rubbing his hands down your arms before wrapping an arm around your shoulders to lead you back inside.

“Well, we were wondering what happened to you two,” Jody smirked at Sam, knowing exactly what happened.

“Yeah, Sammy was eating y/n’s face,” Dean said causing you to hide behind Sam in embarrassment.

“Dean.” He said in a warning tone but squeezed your shoulder so you could stand next to him.

“It’s about damn time, you idjits,” Bobby said.

“Well excuse me for wanting to make sure this one wasn’t going to be like the others,” Sam says defensively.

“Come on, Sammy, this is y/n we’re talking about. She’s nothing like the other girls you’ve been with.” Dean said.

“It’s true. She’s got a whole army of hunters behind her.” Jody added.

“You guys are right. I’m just glad we both are finally together.” Sam said, looking above his head to see a mistletoe and he smiled at you as you said, “Me too.” And he leaned down to kiss you once more, under the mistletoe.

Forever Tag List: @juju-la-tortue @grace15ella @marvelfansworld @simpleb00x @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @fandom-princess-forevermore

Requested by @cigarettesandcoffeetalk

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #Sam fluff #Sam Winchester #christmas #winchester christmas #dean winchester #jody mills #donna hanscom #bobby singer #castiel #jack

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