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sskin-ny · 2 months

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I swear people at work have noticed me so much more after I started losing weight. Along with the daily compliments on my appearance, people also started complimenting random things like my laugh. Skinny privilege is so fucking real.

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stonerexicfaery · 1 month

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we're almost four months into the new year.

what do you have to show for it?

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ebongawk · 1 year

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"Hey, baby."

He'd just walked through the front door of their apartment – their apartment, lease signed, sealed, and fucking delivered to the landlord some two months prior. His messy scrawl alongside Chrissy's immaculately elegant C. Cunningham, dotted with a perfect little circle that made his heart pop fireworks in his chest.

(From a fucking signature. Goddamn, he was gone for her.)

"Hey," she smiled, not quite turning toward him.

She was in the kitchen, humming softly as she carefully rolled balls of ground beef. Oh fuck yes, Chrissy had masterfully made meatballs one other time and, no matter how much he begged – literally on his knees – she'd lamented that they weren't exactly healthy.

And, yeah, Chrissy's patent-pending Relationship With Food was healing, but Eddie wasn't such an asshole that he'd push her to make something she wasn't one-hundred-and-ten-percent on board with. She was still testing the waters with what she could bring herself to eat.

If there's a God, Eddie wanted to bow down and worship Him or Her for allowing meatballs to make the cut.

"Did all my pleading actually amount to something?" he asked as he slipped off his work boots, pattering over the short distance between the front door and the kitchen. They'd lucked out with this apartment, honestly, but it was still rather small. "Or is this, like, a body snatchers thing? Are you just a Chrissy-replica trying to win me over with meatballs?" He leaned down, avoiding touching her clothes with his grimy post-work hands as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Because it's working."

She smiled, but it wasn't... It wasn't Chrissy-bright. It was an appeasing sort of smile – the kind of thing you foisted upon a person to be polite before dismissing them. Sucking in a breath through his teeth, Eddie leaned awkwardly around the counter, trying to catch her eye.

"You okay, sweetness?"

"I'm fine," she said, her voice as robotic as any body snatcher. Blinking, she barely awarded him a glance. "You should wash up. Dinner will be done soon."

A verbal dismissal. Fuck.

"Uh. Yeah. Alright." Trying very hard not to feel like a kicked puppy, Eddie retreated into the bathroom. Chrissy didn't turn back toward him, and Eddie rapped the wall with his knuckle a couple of times before closing the door.

Shit. Shit. What had happened? Chrissy had a part-time gig as a barista at a café near their apartment, but she hadn't worked that morning, so it couldn't have been a rude customer. And she'd called him during his lunch break, sounding completely normal, to ask if he needed anything from the grocery store.

Fuck. Had he done something? Hell knows it wouldn't be the first time he'd unintentionally fucked up by saying or doing the wrong thing without realizing it. That was one of the problems of having a brain that wasn't really connected to his mouth. But, running through their conversation that afternoon, he couldn't remember saying anything particularly callous or thoughtless.

That didn't mean he hadn't, though. Admittedly, whatever they'd talked about during those fifteen minutes was a little lost to him; he remembered, of course, making her laugh, but was it her fake laugh? The one she gave other people when she was trying to be polite? She'd never, y'know, given him that laugh, but that didn't mean he could detect it over the goddamn phone, for Christsakes.

He was scrubbing the motor oil out from under his nails, thoughts spiraling as torrentially as the water down the drain, when the bathroom door opened. Then closed again.

There was a bit of shuffling, the sounds barely discernible over the rushing spray of water. Then the shower curtain was pulled aside, and Chrissy climbed into the tub behind him. Eddie didn't dare turn, too afraid to shatter this delicate glass idea she had as her arms wrapped around him. After a moment, she pressed her cheek between his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice soft and delicate. The tiny letters of her apology tracing her breath against his skin.

Clearing his throat, Eddie let his hands tentatively rest on hers around his abdomen. "For what, princess?"

"For being rude."

Eddie scoffed, loosening her hold on him just enough that he could turn around and look at her. Really look at her, as she hadn't given him opportunity in the kitchen.

There was a tiny little hitch between her brows. A furrow that accentuated the wide, bare emotion swirling in her stormy eyes.

Sadness, he knew, with a heavy pinch of anxiety.

The comfort of meatballs suddenly made more sense.

"You weren't rude," he assured her, brushing back the few stray strands of hair that had fallen from her messy bun and trailing water down the length of her cheek. "You were just quiet. Had me a little worried, that's all."

Thunder struck in her storm cloud eyes, filling them with tears before she buried her face in his chest. Eddie held her, rocking them back and forth as she sobbed in his arms. (He still had conditioner in his hair, but letting it sit for longer just made it work better, right? Isn't that what Chrissy taught him?)

"I-I-I tried to call Matty today," Chrissy finally managed, her voice broken around the emotion of trying to force the words out. "I t-thought he'd be alone, b-b-but––"

"Did your mom answer?" he asked when her sentence broke off with a pitiful little cry. She nodded, and Eddie tightened his hold around her. Holding her in the protection of his arms, like he could bat off the sadness her mother always caused when they had the misfortune of speaking.

Last time Laura had intercepted a call, Eddie had practically yanked the phone from Chrissy's grasp before the old bitch could say anything that would ruin his girl.

Fuck him for not having opportunity to do the same today. But fuck Laura Cunningham most of all.

He didn't need to ask what she'd said. It was the same old regurgitated bullshit she'd spewed when Chrissy had climbed into Eddie's van, as many of their worldly possessions as they could fit in the cab and headed east. Shit about how Chrissy would never amount to anything, about how she wasn't allowed a relationship with her brother. A bunch of absolutely bonkers crazy Chrissy had let roll off of her, keeping her shoulders back and her head high.

It was harder, some days, to be reminded of the control Laura still tried to exert. The fist Chrissy was still trying to desperately to peel from around her body.

Eddie moved, just enough that the warm spray could touch them both, and let Chrissy cry into him.

"It's alright, baby," he cooed, pressing his lips to her forehead. "It's okay. What'd you tell me the other day? Crying is, um. Crying is lethargic?"

A laugh snorted against his sternum, and Chrissy shook her head, nose rubbing against his bare wet chest.

"Cathartic," she corrected.

"Catatonic, that's what I said."

She giggled, pressing a kiss over his heart before she looked up at him. Eddie brought his hands up, thumbs gently swiping away the tear tracks from her cheeks despite how they blended in with the shower spray.

"Thank you," she breathed, pressing up on her toes to give him a kiss.

Eddie leaned down, giving her a proper kiss when she tried to pull back after a second. He cupped her jaw in one hand, the other gently wrapping around the back of her neck, and kissed her until she gasped for air against his lips.

"Anything, Cunningham," he grinned. "You know that."

Growing a little bashful, Chrissy rested against him.

"I was, um. I was making dinner, to try and take my mind off it. But I rolled all the meatballs, and now I'm just... spent."

"Oh yeah? You wanna order something from that little Korean place down the street? We haven't eaten there yet."

He could feel the curve of her smile against his heart. Exactly where it belonged.

"Yes, please," she sighed.

After a second, Eddie hummed. "So, what I'm hearing is, the crying made you tired?"

"Um. I suppose so?"

"So, like, in a way, crying is lethargic? Is that what I'm getting from this?"

"Oh, my God, Eddie."

"Hey, I'm just saying––"

"That you have to be right," she giggled, lip tucked between her teeth when she looked up at him. "Yeah, I know."

He kissed the smile from her lips.

"I know you."

(for @cunninghamchrissie 😘)

#hellcheer #eddissy #eddie x chrissy #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #hellcheer drabble #cw // eating disorder discussion #hurt/comfort #could be we're a lie Eddie and Chrissy ngl

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theallegedbird · 5 months

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LITERALLY

Like

For example "6up 5oh (cop out)" IS LITERALLY THAT ONE POLICE EP FROM S5 where Jonny said the disclaimer at the beginning OR or bro c'mon literally "dr sunshine is dead" is about the dark OR "hand me my shovel, I'm going in" is about the buried or I personally connect "Mr. capgras encounters a second-hand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia/pareidolia (as direct result of trauma to fusiform gyrus)" to the stranger bc he keeps singing "you're trying to replace yourself" which I think really fits and also the song "skeleton appreciation day in vestal, my (bones)" also reminds me of the buried but also a bit of Jane Prentiss/the infestation and the jarchivist himself and also the rot yezyez the rotting too and also the beginning of the song "front street" where he sings about the slaughterhouse and meat...yes It's the flesh and the slaughter!!!!

And bro c'mon will wood is just so bbgirl his songs just fit SO WELL it's almost as if he wrote them specifically for tma

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm low-key obsessed with him and I don't even listen to all the songs (I have the entire "everything's alot" album downloaded >I love it really mutch + a few other ones so I hope this counts ❤️)

Have a nice day btw love youuu❤️❤️❤️❤️ (I hope I didn't squish your brain to death with this friggin paragraph I just wrote :'] )

[ID of image in ask: a screenshot of a caption of a tumblr post by theallegedbird that the ask is responding to, it reads "memento mori- will wood, i can and will find a way to relate every ww song to tma istg". End ID]

NO LITERALLY,, YOU ARE SO RIGHT

kind of got carried away so um. long post

completely agree and feel the same about 6up 5oh cop out, dr sunshine is dead and mr capgras

6up 5oh cop out to me especially could be linked to daisy and the guy you mentioned as well as the hunt as whole because of both of them being heavily tied to and criticising the police/police brutality

warning for discussion of eds in this paragraph

skeleton appreciation day for me is the flesh,, dont get me wrong i can see your ideas too but i always interpreted the song as being about eds and negatively/unhealthily watching your weight in order to achieve "the perfect body" by society's standards; by being skinny,, "tell me you can see my bones" , "to cut down on my silhouette" and the whole end dialogue, so that fits into the flesh for me considering another situation of someone wanting the "ideal body" is something that is discussed in a flesh statement (mag90-bodybuilder), but i can see some themes in the song that can could be corruption, plus both the flesh and corruption are pretty closely linked at times (and smirkes system is just inaccurate to begin with)

dr sunshine is dead is as you said the dark to me,, in the sense of someone maybe becoming an avatar (song starts with narrator afraid of the dark/not knowing and ends with them embracing it) but also could be seen as the stranger or even spiral because of its themes (like most of ww's work) involving identity and the self

for hand me my shovel,, may i propose it is also s2 jon coded. very s2 jon coded. it is very much his paranoid need for the 'truth'. do you. do you get me

id also like to propose some other ww songs that are also extremely tma coded,, to me

blackboxwarrior!! ok stick with me but yknow that one dialogue bit that starts "hello, welcome. why don’t you take a seat?" that whole section. thats og elias and jonah in elias' interview. do you see the vision. its them. i always take it as jonah being the narrator when looking at this song with tma in mind,, with the "you’ve lost your mind and almost lost your life before, so you’ll be fine" and "for what it’s worth if it was going to kill you, boy, it would have by now" being directed at jon. please say im not insane for this i. i listen to this song a lot.

on the topic of jon and jonah your body my temple. because. because hes using jon as a pawn,, "your visage my visions" (i know this songs about sydney and elijah ch&t but can be tma too. if you think about it)

again with jon and jonah (i despise jonah and the godforsaken thing that is jonelias but their dynamic is so interesting) laplaces angel,, dont know how to put this one into words but do you Get It,, could be both or either of them really,, certain lyrics include: "it doesnt take a killer to murder it only takes a reason to kill", "the difference twixt fate and free will is whether youre singing", "whatever you think of me, if you were in my shoes, youd walk the same damn miles i do"

against the kitchen floor could also be jmart,, especially these parts: "i just havent learnt to be as human as you are yet", "i still dont know who you are, only that im still lonely", "apologizing for my life and ever entering yours" "im not a good person, im barely a person at all"

cicada days,, jon. jon coded. i really want ro make something with especially the in case i die live show version bc it just fits. so well. "it just feels inhumane to lose this much", "let all my red flags fade to white yeah i give up", and biggest one to me "here at the end of days, my god what have i done?" as in mag160,,

cotard's solution is the stranger,, again with the identity

there’s more but i’ve just realised how long this already is so ima leave it there

pff sorry for hijacking your ask but i’m a sucker for media analysis and any opportunity to do that with not one but two of my special interests causes me to black out and the autism to take over <33

also you’re so real for everything is lot,, favourite album

have a great day or night :D

#id in alt #not really comfortable talking about front street #yes its one of my favourite ww songs but the actual meaning of it isnt something i want to discuss throughly on here #tma #the magnus archives #will wood #wwattw #asks #avery rambles #long post #cw eds #cw eating disorders

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lildoodlenoodle · 3 months

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Hello fellow people who take ADHD medications:

How do y’all deal with the lack of appetite/food repulsion caused by the medication? Any advice helps!

More about my specific situation:

I’ll be honest, I’ve always struggled with having consistent weight, I gain and lose pretty easily. I’ve always struggled with eating ‘correct’ amounts of food and appetite. However, I don’t think I’d ever say I’ve had an eating disorder.

But since going on the meds I not only have little to no appetite but also I’m at times food repulsed. Like I will be on the verge of vomiting when putting food in my mouth(even for ‘safety foods’). I’m trying really hard to gain weight and I cannot do it the way I’m going, and I need this medication to keep going at academics(and daily life tbh). I don’t really have health care access so I’m stuck with the medication I’m on. Any suggestions or thoughts help!

#adhd #cw vomit #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #srsly any advice helps #I literally got sick for a month bc I wasn’t eating correctly and my immune system couldn’t keep up #cw eating issues #cw weight discussion #cw medication #cw eating problems

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butterrsss · 3 months

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New fast because I fucked mine up yesterday 😸🤘

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little-lee-froggie · 6 months

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Vent post

Tw for self-harm, suicidal ideation and eating disorders under the cut

I have been developing the beginning of an eating disorder for awhile, and it started getting bad again recently. I was trying to stop it for a few days, but yesterday I felt really bad about trying to stop it and decided to not eat anything today. My rule was that if I ate, I would have to cut myself once for each calorie I had to stop me from eating. Even if I had no choice but to eat, I still would have to harm myself. I ended up having to eat dinner, and my low estimate for how many calories it was is 400, but it was probably more than that, and now I don’t know what to do. I already asked for my friend’s help today because I was scared of eating cuz I knew I would have to, and he also is helping his partner rn and I don’t want to overwhelm him with to many people to help, especially because he already does way more than he has to for other people, but I’m also scared something bad might happen to me if I cut that much, and if the worst case scenario happens, I want to a least thank him and say goodbye. I don’t think I’m going to die, but if I do, I couldn’t just leave him unexpectedly. I really really doubt I would die, but it’s not like it’s impossible. I just don’t know what to do, I have no one I can talk to about this other than him, and I’m scared

#tw eating disorder #tw self harm #tw sui implied #tw vent #tw eating issues #ed discussion #ed not sheeren #self harm #passive suicidality #tw #cw #cw eating issues #cw self harm #cw sui thoughts

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applesauceboys · 20 days

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IM SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

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incubicide · 2 months

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God bless having the flu, I’ve vom¡ted four times and had nothing but an orange the last two days🙏

#☠︎ it talks ☠︎#🕯️as a 🪶#light as a feather #tw disordered eating #cw ed #i need to ⭐️ve #⭐️ve #tw ed not ed sheeren #tw ed but not sheeran #edblr #ed bllog #ed blogg #tw ed discussion #bingepurge #bingedisorder

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musiclover2732 · 2 months

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every time i see those “imagine if life worked how your anxiety thinks it does and everyone booed you off the bus” posts i think about how many times waiters will make fun of me for ordering my steak medium well. like it’s one thing when it’s someone in the party i’m dining with cuz we’re all just people but the waiter who’s supposed to just write down your order and give it to the kitchen. any comments should about your order should be limited to “oh that’s my favorite” or “lots of people really like that one” and positive stuff. i am genuinely sick of the old “why bother getting it at that point” or “enjoy your shoe leather” type comments from waiters. idk is it just me cuz i have a baby face and i’m usually out with people who actually look like adults that people feel like they can make fun of me. it doesn’t help that whoever i’m with family, friends of family, whatever usually agree and laugh along and get mad when i try to explain how upset i am. it’s not just steak either. i’m a picky eater because of sensory issues, food sensitivities (lactose intolerance, other stuff that i haven’t quite figured out) and i just generally feel anxious at restaurants so i order my simple same foods and i find myself constantly being judged by people who work at these places. like don’t put the food on the goddamn menu if you’re gonna ridicule customers for ordering it. i once tried to order a plain burrito at a restaurant and the guy gave me so much shit for it that by the time it was ready i was too anxious to eat it. like does this happen to other people? do other people get shamed in public for ordering normal ass food??

#it’s not even food shaming out of fatphobia (which i also get but never in public)#it’s just over my personal preferences #i don’t get things with toppings and people act like im a freak #like plz tell me im not alone here #i mean technically this is what it boils down to whenever i discuss food so just to be safe #->#cw eating disorders

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millielo · 1 month

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3d-Vlogs

I’m going to upload my first 3d-vlog on Sunday and then I’ll do weekly vlogs.

So go subscribe if you want to🫶

#tw ana diary #ana trigger #ed not sheeren #@n0r3xia #disordered eating thoughts #thinspø #ed not ed sheeran #tw ed diet #tw disordered eating #ana meal #3d diet #ed discussion #disordered eating cw #ana dairy #ed disorder #eating diary #disordered thinking #pro for me not for thee

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sskin-ny · 3 months

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“Leggings legs” gives me war flashbacks to justgirlythings posts abt thigh gaps & bikini bridges

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stonerexicfaery · 9 months

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#mean$p0 #pro a4a #m34nspo #tw ed discussion #disordered eating mention #sw33tsp0 #disordered eating cw #notprojustusingthetags #i hate calories #omad weight loss #i will reach my ugw

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olliecoded · 4 months

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ok like it's everyone. it's EVERYONE. diet culture is so terrible because there is NO WAY to escape it. everyone is talking about everyone's body and everyone's diet behind everyone's back. like it's fucking inescapable it's pervasive it's just fucking everywhere.

#was at dinner the other night with my 2 best friends who both know i have a history of disordered eating #but r also both like. very health conscious. and they just ... started discussing our other friend's “unhealthy” eating habits? in detail??#i can talk about it now without getting too upset bcs theres some distance but when it happened i was soooo put off #i couldnt eat the rest of the night and it was shocking bcs it was like. but these r my friends these r good people. these are good people!!#but like i realized it does not matter. it's all fucking over. it doesn't matter even good people r pieces of shit in this respect.#& like i reached out to them and asked them not to do it around ME but that doesn't mean it STOPS when they're around other people #or alone #it just like. idk not to use a cliche or whatever. but it hurts my heart. it hurts my heart. it hurts my heart.#hello world #cw ed

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jakeperalta · 1 year

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swifties who post pictures/videos from the 1989 era just to be like "she was so thin 😞 she looks so sick here 😞" learn how to be fucking normal challenge

#this is mostly the ones i see on instagram people tend to have a bit more decency on here #just saw a video of her performing wildest dreams on tour and assumed it was just like vocals or costume appreciation #but the caption was like 'watch until the end she looks like she's going to pass out because she had an ED'#and all the comments were discussing it #like. why do they think this is necessary #talking #eating disorder cw #ed cw

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waterparksdrama · 2 years

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awsten has stated multiple times he doesn't want photos of him with brown hair and the blonde streak to be shared everywhere. no, its not just the one picture with the red wall (even though you guys have posted that multiple times). that first of all wouldn't make any sense. its all the photos from that time because he was struggling. just respect him its not that hard. I know you have something against him for some reason, but that doesn't mean you don't respect his boundaries.

ok just from the everything from this i can tell you scroll twitter too much so where do i start with this one

awsten has never said that. quite literally the only statement he's made with being uncomfortable with old photos was this:

the only photos of him with braces are very sparse in general since he was only 15-16, but even then, his only stated discomfort with old photos are the people using the ones they found of him with braces to bully/harass him with

the "him struggling" part i assume is referring to the part in his book that people tend to diagnose him with an eating disorder for:

i don't think people realize the complex relationships between anxiety/depression and eating problems while not necessarily having an eating disorder. this entire chapter describes how awsten's anxiety got in his life's way when he was younger and i do not think it's helpful to pathologize that further because we are not his doctors. i don't think any of us can diagnose him with anything just from a brief snippet of his life he's shared once.

people try to use this snippet to argue that he hates all old photos of him which just straight up isn't true? this passage describes an episode of his the summer he was 13. any old photos of him you'll find online with the brown and bleach patches are mostly from when he was 16-22, meaning long after he had that problem.

tl;dr

awsten never said he hates all old photos (meaning with the brown hair and bleach patches) of himself

he's only expressed discomfort at people using photos of him with braces (meaning photos of him when he was 15-16)

please do not try spreading or implying that awsten had an eating disorder when he's never stated that himself and the relationship between mental health disorders and eating problems can get a little complicated but not necessarily resulting in an eating disorder.

you literally cannot find any photos of awsten when he was 13 online so trying to use that to argue that awsten is uncomfortable with old photos doesn't make sense, especially when you try to use that logic towards photos by the time he was already in waterparks????

awsten's only discomfort at old photos past that just seem to be for normal reasons (cringing at past self and people he doesn't talk to anymore) and i'm not going to shove the photos in his face for that (that's the beauty of this blog, our posts aren't meant to be seen by the band it's really just for us) but he's never actively said he's uncomfortable with people posting photos of himself with his brown hair + bleach patches

-iz

#cw #discussion of #eating disorders #disordered eating

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