#cw eating issues
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Almost cried at Olive Garden yesterday
(cw eating issues/TMJ)
I rarely go out to eat, but my client wanted to go. I almost didn't order anything since pasta and soup are a pain to eat with a mask, and everything else was too chewy/large/crunchy, etc. (Even salad was out since the greens are too thin for me to chew right now 😩)
I asked the server if I could get the spinach dip and substitute the flatbread crisps for something softer. She didn't get it so I said I have TMJ, and she suggested I use the bread sticks. I was a bit deflated since that bread is really chewy, but planned on just taking it home and eating it with a spoon or wrapping a slice of bread in a moist paper towel and microwaving it (sad TMJ hack, lol).
But the server came out with a big smile, saying that she'd worked there for 14 years, and had never seen the cook like this. She'd told him what I said, and he cut up the flatbread into small pieces and focused on cooking it just enough to be as soft as possible so I wouldn't have to open my mouth too wide or chew too much.
It seems so fucking silly, but that little bit of kindness almost had me tearing up in front of my client.
I was a bartender for 6 years, and I know how annoying/inconvenient it can be when customers ask for unusual things.
But I am so grateful to all the servers, cooks, etc. that take a couple minutes to make existing in this world just a little less shitty 🖤🙏
#it was so good too#almost cried into my dip 😭#about lynna#tmj disorder#heds#invisible disability#spoonie#cw eating issues#tw eating issues#cw food
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(personal health issue)
I just realized... i lose too much weight. This is definitely unhealthy. Look at this short, they were too TIGHT for me few months ago, now they barely hang onto my thigh...
Jfc my ass is not fat and my thigh are not thicc anymore!! I'm slowly becoming a REAL skinny betch™!!!
This is a disaster. I need to gain weight ASAP
#this is no joke#stress and eating disorder is slowly taking over I can't afford to lose any more weight I'm already skinny as hek#I put this short on and immediately the alarm sounds wth 😭😭😭#cw eating issues#cw eating problems#cw weight loss
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Recently my therapist dropped something on me that is hard for me to wrap my head around. We’ve started talking through my issues with food and eating, and after a couple sessions she said “I think you may have a form of anorexia” And I’m like “You may not have noticed this but I weigh 250 pounds” and she was like “nah dog, you don’t have to be underweight to have it” and this made NO SENSE to me. And I said “I don’t have the willpower or the strength to be anorexic” which made me stop and think, and made her raise an eyebrow.
I realized in that moment that there had been times in my life when I was jealous of people with this devastating, potentially deadly illness. I felt like they had an ability I knew I would never have. And that’s a super fucked up way to think about it.
We talked through it and she told me that my periods of obsessive calorie counting, punishing myself for eating foods I felt were off limits, measuring things to the ounce, and thinking about food pretty much all the time was the issue. The first time she brought this up was when I told her I used to berate myself for eating something I shouldn’t have when I actually hadn’t eaten it, I’d just thought about eating it. Also when I was drinking too much I would plan my day around it, making sure I had an empty stomach and weighing what I drank on a kitchen scale. And I did research to find out what alcohol had the least calories with the highest abv.
So she tells me she thinks I have atypical anorexia. I still have the obsessive thoughts, but I don’t follow any self imposed restrictions. I still think about them, I just got too tired to keep following them. I still punish myself for eating “bad” foods.
We’re going to continue talking through this and navigate it, hopefully find ways to change some of my thoughts and behaviors. I’m still surprised at myself for my initial knee jerk response of thinking that it’s just like me to have this disorder but still be overweight. That’s not me anymore. I felt that way when I was a kid up to my 30’s, that being overweight made me useless and less than. I don’t feel that way now, but I guess it’s hardwired into my brain at a subconscious level.
To be clear, I have never had negative thoughts about people I knew or met who were overweight. They were different. I was the problem, no one else.
I wanted to share this because I’d never heard of it before, and while it’s not life changing to know this is a thing, it is helping me understand myself and some of my behaviors in a way that I haven’t before. It is also helping me be kinder to myself, at least a little.
I hope this post wasn’t upsetting or painful for anyone. This is just me sharing my experience and thoughts, I don’t know much about this topic and I’m probably shitty in a lot of ways as I’m writing about this since I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m sorry about that. I’m going to tag the fuck out of this.
Anyway. My wish for all of you is that you can be kind to yourself however you can in whatever way you need to be. ☀️☀️☀️
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heacanon Jay and Tim (CW: Unhealthy eating habits and Child Neglect)
It made sense for Jason to hoard food in Dick's mind. He was a kid from the streets, never knowing when his next meal was. It made sense to Bruce and Alfred who let him keep a stash of snacks and instant meals in his closet.
It made sense to Jason, who was still wrapping his head around being adopted by a literal billionaire. He hoarded food. Even after death and resurrection, he hoarded food.
If Roy were hungry, Jason had a granola bar in his pocket. He could go to any safehouse (his or no) and find a stash of goodies to keep himself going.
It didn't make sense for Tim to hoard food in Dick's mind. He was the child of billionaires, able to get anything he wanted whenever. It didn't make sense in Bruce and Alfred's minds as they cleared out yet another stash from Tim's bedroom.
But.
It made sense to Jason who saw how skittish Tim was in the kitchen. It made sense to Jason who remembered a small kid following him and Bruce around, leaving a small trail of M&Ms in his wake. It made sense to Jason, who broke into the Drake Manor once and found an empty fridge and emptier pantry.
It made sense to Tim, who even with his parent's money, couldn't count on them to remember groceries or provide a next meal. It made sense to Tim, who'd eat himself silly whenever he could, and squirrel away whatever fit in a napkin.
Hoarding food was a survival instinct--one Jason honed on the streets and one Tim honed fancy dinner to fancy dinner.
When Jason saw what Tim did, how he behaved, Jason's heart broke a little. He talked loudly to himself about which utility belt pocket was best for what snack, and where he hid his own food stashes throughout Gotham. He went out of his way to watch cooking videos on the main TV and get (force) Tim to help him make them.
It made sense to Jason to help Tim feel safe because Dick, Alfred, and Bruce had done the same for him.
It just. Made. Sense.
#musings from beyond#jason and tim are brothers your honor#jason todd#tim drake#jason todd headcanon#time drake headcanon#cw eating issues#cw child neglect#tw eating issues#tw child neglect#dc#kneeko writes
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one of the things i hate the most as a fat person is that i don't get to have a mundane relationship with food
i'm not allowed to enjoy any of it, not the smells, the tastes, the processes, the stories, the gathering to eat, none of it.
i got asked by my dr to go get blood tests and i got the results yesterday
the tests that came back a point or two high for are all normal for people with PCOS but I just know I'm not getting out of her office without a meal plan or a lecture to not oversalt my home made chicken stock (no joke this is something a dr had told me)
i've starved + exercised myself down 100 lbs and it made me nothing but suicidal - especially after seeing how I was treated better and listened to. it's the only way I was able to get my depression diagnosis.
long story short i H A T E going to the doctor and i need to find one who's worked with PCOS
i'm not looking for advice, just wanting to vent and commiserate - i know im not the only person with a strained relationship with the medical industry
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Kieran Culkin on Roman’s eating habits, relationship to food, and on Roman having an eating disorder. (x)
#poor roman#this one isn't new in the fandom but I don't always see the article linked so maybe this will be useful for someone#roman roy#kieran culkin#hbo succession#cast interviews#succession#disordered eating cw#cw eating issues
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god I hate it when I'm kinda hungry until I actually go to get food and then I think I never want to eat again
#really fucking hope i dont have an ed#prolly just because the food in question is pizza#which is one of those foods i have to be Prepared for#its just. a lot#existenceunrelateds#cw eating problems#cw eating issues#cw ed#?#just in case
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Tw eating disorder mention
plural culture is having one alter who restricts as a way to cope and another who over eats as a coping mechanism so the body always feels like shit :(
:(
#tw eating disorder mention#tw eating disorder#tw eating issues#cw eating disorder mention#cw eating disorder#cw eating issues#endos dni#osdd#pdid#did#did system#pdid system#osddid#actually did#traumagenic#actually dissociative#plural culture is
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Hello fellow people who take ADHD medications:
How do y’all deal with the lack of appetite/food repulsion caused by the medication? Any advice helps!
More about my specific situation:
I’ll be honest, I’ve always struggled with having consistent weight, I gain and lose pretty easily. I’ve always struggled with eating ‘correct’ amounts of food and appetite. However, I don’t think I’d ever say I’ve had an eating disorder.
But since going on the meds I not only have little to no appetite but also I’m at times food repulsed. Like I will be on the verge of vomiting when putting food in my mouth(even for ‘safety foods’). I’m trying really hard to gain weight and I cannot do it the way I’m going, and I need this medication to keep going at academics(and daily life tbh). I don’t really have health care access so I’m stuck with the medication I’m on. Any suggestions or thoughts help!
#adhd#cw vomit#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#srsly any advice helps#I literally got sick for a month bc I wasn’t eating correctly and my immune system couldn’t keep up#cw eating issues#cw weight discussion#cw medication#cw eating problems
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CW: anorexia (not mine, other people's)
Today I found an anorexic person's blog, and scrolled through it for ten minutes with a sad fascination.
Then I remembered that I dated a man in college who said that he liked "anorexic looking girls." After we ended things, I shared what he said with a male friend, and the friend said, "yeahh, that's the kind of comment that would get you punched, because you're basically reveling in the fact that your loved one is hurting themselves." Something like that -- not his exact words, but that was the gist.
But I guess it made sense, in a way -- the guy I dated had his own body image issues, which he (unsurprisingly) projected onto me.
Sometimes you look back, and you think, "my goodness, I can't believe I wasted my time on such a person." But every relationship teaches you something in the end.
In this case, it taught me not to waste my time on assholes.
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i dont mean this in a weird way but ive never seen anyone point this out ( prob bc its a bit weird to but yk ) but from the first season versus later on august looks like hes lost So much weight like his face just looks sm smaller ( dont mean this in a weird way to malte at all bc he also mentioned lisa asked him to workout more and get leaner before s2 so it was definitely a concious choice ) but i feel like it shows the progression of his ed well like with the scene with sara in s2 when shes in bed and hes staring at her he looks so skinny ☹️ crazy no one in show points it out or they dont show it more
Thank you for the ask, anon!
I want to preface this by saying I have zero interest in August or Malte's physique as such. I am way too old and way too ace to find him attractive or unattractive, and I strongly condemn any kind of body/weight shaming and judging people based on their physical appearance.
With that being said... I do think August is meant to have lost weight since S1 and that we are meant to make the connection to his disordered eating, body image distortion, and compulsive exercise (which I believe is not only related but also the presentation that we see the most often).
It is in fact mentioned once in S2E1 when the third-years meet at the party. August says he missed the trip to the Seychelles because he doesn't want a beer belly for the last semester. Of course, the real reason was that he couldn't afford it, but the excuse prompts Vincent to wonder out loud if he actually lost weight over the holidays. They don't talk about it any further, but as the scene comes very soon after we saw him eating that bag of kale/spinach as a meal, I think it serves as another hint of his issues escalating. This also makes sense if you consider his S3 explanation - he was at a very low point after Wille rightfully disowned him, and there was probably quite a bit of noise in his head.
I can't remember if I've read/seen the interview with Malte that you mentioned, but I do feel like I've heard the detail before. They could have also used makeup etc. to make August look leaner than Malte.
In any case, I think it's pretty realistic that people around August don't peg his ED for what it is. Again, this really isn't my area of expertise, but as far as I understand, disordered eating is still primarily seen as affecting girls/women, and most people only have a limited idea of how it can manifest. So if you're a young man like August and/or your ED presents differently from what people typically assume, it can easily go unnoticed.
#young royals#yr s3 spoilers#<very minor spoiler so i'm not using as many tags as usual#young royals season 3#yr s3#yrs3#cw eating issues#cw ed#cw disordered eating#tw: eating disorder#disordered eating cw#august horn of årnäs#august horn#anon ask
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Okay but if shattered bloodmoon was around for this afton chaos, and was hiding in the vents with red, they wouldn’t be able to hunt to get blood. Which they need. While they can’t technically die of starvation they can sure suffer, but they’re not willing to risk their big friend going out to try and get food and being found. They can starve for a while, they’ve done that before
Red would feel bad about eating while Shattered currently can't so they'd not eat as well to make it fair. they'd grab anything they can to charge though, since they both need something to keep going, and suggest they take turns charging. they've gone weeks without food in the past, surely they'll all be fine. Red's own stamina for that sort of thing isn't as strong as it used to be though, they've gotten used to eating well and having plenty of rest, but they'll push themself if they can keep at least one person safe. they'll still wish they could have done something for their other siblings, but they can't bear to face Afton.
#both of them will probably be in rough shape when it's over#it'll take a lot of coaxing to get Red to come out of hiding. they've almost fully gotten back into more feral habits#Scraps is probably in the vents with with. mama kitty won't leave her baby bot alone#churchy talks#css rambles#crossover rambles#tw eating issues#cw eating issues
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did you know you can get so starved that when you finally get to eat something, your body doesn't have the energy to digest the food anymore, so you die anyway. and did you know dean can't feel his hunger anymore because he's already dead inside.
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Heeelloo guyss I'm baaackkkk, pretend I wasn't gone all this time and take this headcannon from me now it's OG13 (and a few of the other older ones) angst -
BTW I suppose some of the topics in this - like references to abuse and eating disorders or food issues - could be triggering for some people so I'll just mention that over here itself just to let you leave if you don't want to continue reading [also let me know if there's anything else you want me to add to this list]
Okay, now that you're here, it's picture time!
(Pic is about the largest states by size from over here : https://www.worldatlas.com/geography/us-states-by-size.html)
In the top 10 smallest states, 7 of them were from the original 13 colonies. (And amongst these 10 was West Virginia). And if we take the 17 smallest, it's mostly either one of the og13, or one of the states that came from them - like Maine or Kentucky or even WV.
So I already have a hc that their heights are a representative of their land area, and based on this, what if the reason [most] the original 13 states are so short is because those who took care of them when they were younger (like England or the Netherlands when they were still colonies) either neglected feeding them while they were still growing or starved them on purpose as a punishment?
Take for example, Rhode Island (the shortest) and Massachusetts. Both were very rebellious back in the day, right? And they're also amongst the smallest ones in size.
England knew that while personifications might not need to eat as much as humans, and would not suffer death by starvation like their fellow mortals might; they still did need food, especially while they were younger - and it was easier to make them obedient to him if they were too weak to be otherwise. So what was the best way for him to make them unable to fight him back, as well as to teach them a lesson? By withdrawing their food. He wouldn't allow them to eat, and he'd just keep them locked up in a room with a strong, unbreakable door and no windows for long periods of time - till he decided he needed them for something. They would always be exhausted and too tired to challenge him for quite a while after that, so he was fully aware his plan worked.
This went on for ages until they managed to escape his hold and he could no longer stop them from rebelling; but by then the damage had been done to them (another hc - they can grow until they achieve statehood) and since they'd been malnourished for frequent bouts of time for so long, they hadn't been able to grow to the heights they should have actually been able to reach [like for example they could have ideally gained at least a few more centimetres based on how big their land was but thanks to England stunting their growth on purpose, they couldn't], hence now they're just shorter than all the other states that came after them.
States like Maine and Kentucky are only smaller since they came from the OG 13, meaning that for them, it's naturally based on the size of their area anyway. But they did manage to achieve their potential heights (like the maximum they could obtain) and weren't a bit shorter than what they should be. Moreover, Maine is taller than Mass for this very reason.
That's sort of why food isn't a priority for them...since they didn’t always get it even if it was there. I'd discussed this headcannon with @imkindanerdy as well so based on what she added about these states being very careful about food now; I feel like they would often just have something hidden in their rooms like packaged food, stuff that's easy to open or won't be missed, stuff that doesn't have a very obvious smell, things which don't expire easily, etc. - even if they don't always eat it. Many a times they will forget that they kept food deep inside their wardrobe or under their bed (since food is rarely ever on their minds), and it'll go bad; which makes them feel terrible but this is a habit they can't stop since not having something to hold on to should there ever be a time when they don't have food makes them highly anxious, and the thing is that they keep saving it for 'in case of an emergency, yet those emergencies never come. It's hard for them to relax if they don't know that there's always something to eat nearby, despite hardly ever actually eating it. It was ages before some of them stopped taking food from the dinner table and hiding it in their sleeves for later.
Some states that know what they went through, like VT, ME, or KY, often purposefully buy a ton of small pieces of packaged food so that these states can sometimes take a few and 'sneak' it to their rooms because that's better than them not eating anything at all on the days they're too scared and stuck thinking about the past to come down for a meal. Furthermore, this is how the eating disorders faced by some of the western states really affected them all a lot, which is also why they helped the west to a great extent during those times too.
Also, the fact that this wasn't at all in their hands, and the reason they're so small is because of England definitely isn't helped by the fact that the other states tease them a lot for their heights; but in typical NE fashion, the northeastern states just curse them out and do their best to ignore them, while the states in the South usually resort to replying with any and all of the southern insults they have accumulated over the years.
They all do their best to shrug it off, but that doesn't stop them from being hurt by this though, particularly on the days when the jokes hit them one after the other with all the force of the unaware states. Heck in fact, I'm willing to bet that after the Rhode Island Joins the Table meeting was one of the few rare times that Rhode Island was actually unable to even pretend to not cry - as is common of the Northeast states - since a bunch of such comments at once affected him so badly he just couldn't keep it in anymore and broke down once he was in his own room. Because it's not his fault he's so short he needs a booster seat. Because had England allowed him to eat just a bit more, he wouldn't need a step-stool to see over the kitchen counter. Despite this though, he just tends to use the fact that the other states remark on his height as an excuse to fight them, because that's the RI spirit in him.
Also, he freely uses his size to exploit the kids under 12 eat free option since they all always fake their ages whenever they need to make a new identity card [this is a hc that I'll talk about another day]. But only him. No one else gets to do this for him. One of the more miser states tried that once, and all he got was the living daylights beaten out of him plus a bigger check than what he would have had to pay if Rhodey just ate as an adult.
Anyway that's all I can think of right now, this came to me long back, I just finally got the inspiration to write it; since the fact that I already had this down in a bunch of messages made it easier to do. I can't promise I'll be active frequently again, but wttt hcs fill my brain whenever it's not busy being against me so er...yeah. Anyway, add on if you have anything more.
#tw abuse#tw eating issues#cw eating issues#eating disorder trigger warning#cw abuse#food issues#welcome to the table#wttt#wttt og13#wttt northeast#wttt south#wttt massachusetts#wttt rhode island#wttt england#who's again a bitch#wttt kentucky#wttt maine#wttt west virginia#other states are considered as a part of this hc all together (as in the og13) but aren't actually mentioned here#wttt connecticut#wttt delaware#wttt georgia#wttt maryland#wttt new jersey#wttt new hampshire#wttt new york#wttt north carolina#wttt pennsylvania#wttt south carolina#wttt virginia
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Vote on which row and column I do next
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Newsies
Rating: Teen and Up
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Oscar Delancey & Morris Delancey
Characters: Oscar Delancey, Morris Delancey, Medda Larkin | Larkson
Additional tags: Eating Disorder, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Oscar Delancey with an eating disorder, Delanceys in foster care, newsies modern au, Oscar and Morris, They’re at it again, My first beta read fic omg, it’s a miracle, the actual prompt was body image issues, body image, Oscar Delancey has body image issues
Summary:
It started as a survival tactic. He had to stay capable. Had to stay strong. Had to stay as fed as possible for as long as possible. Had to make sure he could make sure he could take care of Morris, just in case he couldn’t take care of himself. He had to.
It was great! Until it became a problem.
#newsies#livesies#92sies#morris delancey#the delancey brothers#oscar delancey#newsies modern au#medda larkin#medda larkson#cw eating problems#cw eating issues#tw eating issues#tw eating disorder#cw eating disorder#tw ed#cw ed#bthb#bad things happen bingo
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I'm stuck in a washing machine
I don't even know what I look like anymore
but the voice promises to make me clean
Promised that I have the reins, that it's saving me
Do you want nutrition, or safety and love?
Do you want to be worth it at all?
The latter requires submission little dove
It sounds sweet, almost, but nothing like me
I fall for it all the same but..
I don't know what I look like and I don't know who I am
I hate gum and I have a collection
It sits on my tongue, next to these confessions
ready to boil what's in my lungs
and I sit on the center of this bridge, while I still can
while my mom's homemade pie rots in the fridge
and my nights turn away from cramming for tests
I count and measure and run and listen to the war inside my head about what happens next
I don't know what normal feels like right now
how to eat without feeling it settle under my skin
or hearing the montage of laughter begin
I've given up and almost given in
I don't know how to turn around without driving this flight into the ground
Six feet under or another six pounds thinner
I don't know what else to do this time around
Laying buried on the kitchen floor
Saying I don't want to be you anymore
.. but it's fine, I'm in control
I'm. In. Control.
#spilled thoughts#original writing#my writing#cw eating issues#disordered eating thoughts#tw disordered eating#poetry#poets on tumblr#poets and writers#my poetry#poem#poetblr
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