voicesandthoughts - Tumblr blog

voicesandthoughts · 5 days

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It's so hard moving through recovery in this stage.. where everyone thinks I'm better or never struggled, but everyday is full of mental battles. Not throwing up or making myself eat are still the hardest things I do most days.

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voicesandthoughts · 5 days

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I cling to my paper dreams and cuts

how being around you is like being drenched in the sun

when you leave all I can feel is the flowers that grow in that

they entwine my lungs, neither of us breathing each time you're leaving

you make yourself sound cold as ice and morning dew

but you encase me in starlight

you taste like honey and sound like sunshine

and I would take the batteries out of the clocks and sky and the watch on your wrist

to prolong every moment of mine that's yours too

every night flew on love unrequited and two sided laughter

If it were in my hands our lives would be aligned and undivided

stars in the same perspective

but it's not, so I hold to writing it as if it is

paper stories folding into paper flowers

I'll give you the day we meet

but you won't know to unfold them

and nothing more will ever be ours

that's a given either way

but I love you anyway

#someone kill me before this does #spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #unrequited feelings #unrequited love #on longing #crushing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #poem #poetblr

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voicesandthoughts · 5 days

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It is what it is but like. Can it be something else

#this

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voicesandthoughts · 8 days

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How much sad do I have in me?

How much longer can I pretend it's fine?

this quiet ache that grows deep

into our friendship like thorns to a rose

before I have to lay it on the line

how badly and lasting it haunts me

the words and longing I try to keep under my tongue

In effort not to watch you become a memory

not yet, don't run to the edges of my screen

don't become someone I look for in everything

and find nowhere real

I don't want my love to steal you from me

but I don't know how long I can conceal it

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #crushing #on longing #poem #poetblr #poetry writing #female poets #poems and poetry #my poems

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voicesandthoughts · 10 days

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I want to cut the moon up

and peel away it's roughness to place a slice into your open hungry palms

I want to cut the moon up and out of the sky

to give you all of this world's favorite light

alongside city lights, the bars just outside of town, and the singing stars

I want to give you the moon

because I too am the one companion that will never truly leave you

I'll sit in the light of our love and the darkness of our demons with you

We can run our hands over every groove and gravity the way our hands find each other

Laugh against my lips and take another bite

I want to cut the moon out of the sky so I can properly compare my love to her

Knowing that together, we'll only ever change for the better

I want to cut the moon into slices of poetry for us to hold

because that's what we are, everything else is only words

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #heartbreak #re dedicated #my poetry #i miss you #poem #love poetry #love poem #poems about love #my poem #poet corner #poems #poetblr #poets corner

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voicesandthoughts · 11 days

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I see Clytie in battered glass

I raise to watch the sun and water pass

by edge I sit forlorn and unchanged

I walk roads in my mind between estranged and mournful

with dawn's ache under my skin

heart and eyes set ablaze again

on springs rain-washed earth

I watch and long and spread wings

my best hues reaching any direction that might get to you

gentle blooms and push of spring under azure sky

I could be every kind of golden, but you could never be mine, past morning lights

..we stay up all night on the phone

I smell wishful thinking off sunflowers

bright bones trying to hide what drowns her

bare winter gardens and high summer

strung chin up to the sky

watching what hasn't happened yet

the mystery mundane at your home table

you bring home to meet your mother

not a fable uttered or feared

and the nearest I'll get is where I am now

I can't grasp how you do this to me

because you didn't, your eyes don't meet the idea

but I'm still here

making you my north star and miserable day

best friend, heart's and fear's allay

is it terrible yes will I edit no

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #greek mythology #poets and writers #my poetry #poem #poetblr #heartbreak #crushing #on longing #poetry writing #poems and poetry #my poems

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voicesandthoughts · 12 days

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I think I'm going to cry in Pennsylvania

I'm going to cry myself into sleep and out of daydreams

and I'm sorry for it, I hope you don't see

My love (is) getting worse

and every second I see fewer doors

things were easier when I couldn't see at all

if I live, I falter

and it hits so much harder

It didn't hurt as much to fall when I was already under the floor

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #poem #poetblr

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voicesandthoughts · 12 days

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My tongue is growing tired of being held tame

scratches in my throat are boiling over

tired of everything staying the same for you and me

drops jumping out through the levee

jumping for answer and decree

some accidental, some stinging their way out

some, loose lips getting addicted to the way you take a compliment

but really trying not to sink any ships

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #poem #poetblr #crushing #on longing #poetry writing

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voicesandthoughts · 14 days

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I've been falling again

and I know I'll hit the ground

no home, not running, but in a pile of unpeculiar broken bones

It scares me, to love as much as I do

and every love I fall in or for

knocks the wind out of me like nothing else before

I fear I'll lose it entirely this time, after you

I fear I won't be able to find it again

alongside my mind, if this goes on much more

you will ruin me

and I will let it happen, however it does

no, it will only happen this way, there is no however

because if we go further and it ends I'll never forgive myself for being anything but friends

I can't do another no contact open door broken oath until it's over

I can't turn you into someone that makes me feel that alone

when you're the opposite now, I feel at home

I can't even try to spark your Cumaru wood

for fear of burning what's good down

I can't speak for fear of carving a world without you around

so I know I've been falling

I know I'll hit the ground

but I'll never bring it back to your mind

or try to make you mine.

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #poem #poetblr #heartbreak #crushing #on longing #poetry writing #poems and poetry

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voicesandthoughts · 14 days

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Two thousand dollars to see you

I know it's for college but I wouldn't go in person

If not to find myself in your car or across your picnic table in the park

blast Cruel Summer in the passenger seat

("I love you ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?")

If not to feel the purple golden blue

you paint me, a novel hue

In every second and word

in my clinging to your touch like a moth to a flame

every smallest glance and and shoulder brush

if not to lie about how it lingers with some pain

into the depth between daylight specks dancing in the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen

I wouldnt be so adamant to visit if not for need to find solace in dreams

and my tendency to never accept how anything seems

but it will be worth every memory, , platonic allbeit, we share

for it's you, not what you give me I care for

the days wrapped in laughter and comfort

faltering heart leaned on steadying grace

it's a small price to pay, 2k

for some moments with you, in any possible way

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #poem #poetblr

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voicesandthoughts · 15 days

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You can donate to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund for as little as $1.00.

There is a fee you can choose to apply to cover processing.

Which if you choose to do leaves you with a total of ~$1.35 (USD) depending on the type of card you have.

PCRF has a score of 97% on Charity Navigator.

Adults and children alike are currently dying in Palestine due to starvation. (World Health Organization Link)

The Gaza Strip is one of two places in the entire world that is categorized as Phase 5 (the highest phase) on the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification scale.

So even if you think it isn't enough, remember that donating even as little as $1.35 helps! It's $1.35 they wouldn't have had otherwise. So donate if you can. 🇵🇸

#palestine #gaza #donations

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voicesandthoughts · 16 days

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Is life just good? Am I healed? Am I hypomanic? Is it some other odd thing my brain decides to do? Will we ever know?

#spilled thoughts

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voicesandthoughts · 19 days

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dreams are futile devices

your visits there, a frivolous expense

I pull out your photo for a second

dragging out the pain in dragging you in

to the only place my words don't have to dissolve

I otherwise swallow them or bite my tongue

swore never to say the word love again

for fear of it being the rift we cannot resolve

I know you know I know you know

but if I lift my tongue and say anything more

I'm so terrified & certain that you'd run

leaving more than this idea in your dust

everything we ever were

friendship and years blurred buried under rust

so my dreams may be counterproductive

but this is the preferable way to let you kill me

delusion and spectacle and holding back sad

a cascade of fasaded hopes

all doomed to unswirl and sprial

a crash made under my own construction

I'll hold on, quietly, until fate unfurls

and fall hard down unforgiving slopes

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #crushing #poets and writers #unrequited feelings #unrequited love #on longing #my poetry #poem #poetblr #poems and poetry #poetry writing #poets of tumblr

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voicesandthoughts · 19 days

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We should be asleep

like the secrets I keep just under my tongue

grinding my teeth, trying to get them to run

paper published or melted in summer sun

untied from the air in my lungs

I wish I could tell you why I'm never asleep

when you're driving home or out at 2am

I wish your voice was something I could keep

or tell I love you, it's burning on the back of my throat

I want this to be more than the footnote it is

ignored and prayed to bury and never missed

the way I miss you in the seconds of silence ending these calls

the moment your engine hum dulls

and you pull into your driveway,

no matter how hard I pray for traffic and wrong turns

or the moment you grow tired and cold

I hold onto every second left before

the destination time is always in a hurry to find

a separation that never leaves my mind

and maybe the echos only linger for me..

maybe I should just go to sleep

(but I never will, when I could keep you even a little longer)

#spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #on love #crushing #unrequited love #unrequited feelings #poem #poetblr #poetry writing #poems and poetry #my poems #on longing

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voicesandthoughts · 22 days

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"It hurts more than a little, looking at your eyes"

"you don't actually seem fine with it"

I lose sleep & defend you to my therapist

You're my personal eclipse,

Where sun's harsh warmth meets moon's soft kiss

the synthesis of brilliance and gentle sorrow

a presence I adore, I fall asleep better in the afterglow of our calls and

you, a haven, until it reassembles

the shadow of a turned back and my confidence trembles

imagined or not, my faith threatens to wane

In a friendship that love will never wade

It's a ship I can't manage to push out of the harbor

not away nor into your hands

sails that refuse to be torn apart

collecting dust in misguided hope

waiting for rejection or affection

instead of finding any real sense of direction

they wish to be the fruit in your palms and taken by teeth into your heart

Melted like the summer sun sky's desire

and the winter's need for comfort in fire

where in you

I meet the purple pearl hues of the moon in

beside every warmth you anew the world in

daylight dreams fighting to remain behind the spread of stars

but maybe you'd just be a good man

If I could put down whatever makes me see nothing more than art

I wonder if there's a world in which I can

An eclipse I wouldn't lose sleep to be with

aching eyes and lying to myself

maybe there's a world I put the idea of anything more on a far off shelf

.. but in this one, there was a real eclipse today

I loved it, I loved that you did too

we shared pictures and

I wish I could stare down the sun embraced by the moon

more often, or on the ground by you

you know I wouldn't look at the sky for very long

with you there

I wonder if we touched, would it be like the sky today

phenomenal and.. short lasting

astrology meant to be apart

but nothing could happen at all so I'll just say there was an eclipse today

it was beautiful wasn't it?

#eclipse #eclipse 2024 #spilled thoughts #original writing #my writing #poets on tumblr #poetry #poets and writers #my poetry #poem #poetblr #crushing #poems and poetry #poems on tumblr

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voicesandthoughts · 24 days

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