Veneer has a "tantrum"

Ritz had started to notice that Veneer was being quieter than usual and was just staring blankley at the wall . Ritz started to get concerned becuase Veneer looked lost like he wasnt even there . Ritz waved his hand infront of Veneers eyes playfully but Veneer was not having it . Veneer got up and stormed to their room and sat on the bed with a huff. Veneer was not mad at Ritz at all but Veneer was having a really bad day and was exausted from having to bottle up his emotions all the time . Veneer suddenly started to feel rage fill his body when he saw a post about Velvet calling her selfless for including Veneer in her career. Veneer just started to cry , his crys started to turn into screams. Veneer started to scream and slammed his phone into the bedside table shattering the screen completely. Ritz had heard the commotion and went to investigate . Veneer was on the floor with blood seeping out of his fist. Veneer didnt notice the other boy walk in , The blood didnt stop Veneer he Just started throwing things across the room , Ritz had held Veneer into a hug to try to get him to stop but veneer just kicked and screamed nothing seemed to calm Veneer so Ritz removed anything that could be dangerous out of the room and let Veneer have his moment to collect himself , It took a total of 45 minutes before the house fell silent . Ritz went into the room to ask Veneeer if he was alright and saw Veneer sitting on a pillow in the corner slowly rocking . "Veneer , whats happening." Veneer looked up with tear filled eyes reaching both arms out for comfort . Ritz sat down and made himself comfortable Veneer basically threw himself on Ritz wrapping his arms and legs around the boy "IM SORRY FOR THE MESS PLEASE DONT BE MAD." Veneer let out in a sob . Ritz was terrified not by Veneer but by the way Veneer was pleading and begging for forgivness. "Venny i could never be mad at you " "b-but i trashed the room and broke things." "Veneer, those are just things , all im worried about is whats gotten you so upset." Veneer reached up and grabbed his phone off the table and showed it to Ritz. Ritz could make out some of the text through the cracks in the screen and realized why Veneer had a breakdown . Ritz looked down at veneer who had stopped rocking and just stared at Ritz . "Ritz , im sorry for my outburst i guess i just needed to have a tantrum i dont know what happened." "Its all right lets get your hand cleaned up and the work on fixing the room ,okay" . Veneer had gotten up and followed Ritz to the bathroom where Ritz had gotten out the peroxide and some bandages . "This might sting a little." Veneer nodded as the liquid covered his hand and he felt a stinging sensation . Ritz gently wrapped Veneers hand in bandages . "now lets fix the room okay." The room was actually quite clean comparred to the size of Veneers outburst . After 10 minutes the room was back to the way it was before . "Venny do you want me to make dinner or do you want to take a nap ." Veneer had not felt like eatting anything in this moment so he just layed down on the bed . Ritz gave Veneer his frog plush which was intantly held and Veneer and Ritz fell asleep

Random lil angst alternatives to your post

Baby Wednesday accidentally heard mommy and daddy’s conversation about her being too much sometimes and causing trouble. She starts to get worried that mommy and daddy will leave her soon if she continues being herself so she starts to keep things to herself. Only playing alone in her room with little raven, not bothering mommy and daddy while they work, stop initiating cuddles or any physical contact unless offered and just generally stayed quiet as to not cause trouble. She lasted almost a whole week like that until it gets too much for the tiny baby and she just ran to hide in her room or her lil tent and has a breakdown quietly because she just misses her mommy and daddy too much but she doesn’t want to cause any trouble or be too much for them. It’s very conflicting and all too much for baby Wednesday to process alone all this big emotions

Aaaa, my heart!!! How could you?!? /j

Oh my gods, hold on I got this, okay

(Note: I’m like halfway through writing this rn and I just have to say, there’s no way this is actually canon to the ship. It is WAY too sad and so we’re just gonna keep this as a sort of “what if” okay? And genuinely, if you’re already in a low mood or aren’t in a good headspace, I don’t recommend reading this. Just save it for later and scroll on. Remember, take care of yourselves.)

Enid and Yoko are worried, actually they’re terrified. Of course they noticed Wednesday pulling away and at first, they thought it was just Wednesday needing some space. It happens sometimes, she gets overwhelmed and takes some time for herself to recover. She usually just hangs out in her room for most of the day and then a day or so later, she’s right back to her normal self. But this time, something’s different. Wednesday’s been avoiding them for almost the whole week.

When they first noticed the difference, Enid almost panicked. She wanted to run right into Wednesday’s room and hug her so tightly and force her to open up. Yoko, on the other hand, went the entire opposite direction. She was convinced that the only way to handle the situation was to wait for Wednesday. She hoped that by not pushing, Wednesday would eventually open up.

Eventually, the two women compromised. They wouldn’t push Wednesday but they’d do what they could to remind her that they were there for her. They made sure to invite her to plenty of cuddle sessions and they tried their best to express all their love for her without overwhelming her.

But, it clearly wasn’t enough.

Today, Enid tried to hug Wednesday. Unfortunately, the tiny seer wasn’t expecting it and she dropped her cup and spilled juice all over the floor.

Wednesday panicked.

The moment her brain caught up, Wednesday screamed out an apology and dashed upstairs to her room with little Raven, slamming the door behind her and collapsing to the floor inside her tent. At that point, Wednesday was entirely unable to hold herself together anymore and all the emotions she’d been holding back exploded out of her as she violently sobbed into little Raven. She was an utter mess, coughing wildly through her sobbing and she had tears, snot, and spit painted across her face.

Little Raven had never seen her best friend in such a state and was at a complete loss for what to do.

Meanwhile, Yoko and Enid listened in complete, heartbreaking silence as the sounds of their baby crying traveled through the house into their enhanced ears. They looked at each other and knew now what they should’ve done from the very beginning and they weren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

The werewolf and vampire ran just as fast up the stairs and carefully entered the room, locking on immediately to Wednesday. It was like a fishing rod had hooked right into their hearts and began violently pulling them toward the tiny seer lying inside the tent. They collapsed down to the floor next to Wednesday, even Yoko began crying at the weight of her little raven being so upset.

Enid choked out through her tears, “Oh baby. I’m so sorry. I’m so so so sorry! Mommy’s here sweetheart. I’m right here baby girl.” Enid couldn’t stop herself from wrapping her arms around Wednesday and Yoko followed quickly, lying herself behind the seer and planting so many kisses to the back of Wednesday’s head, neck, and everywhere else she could reach. Enid did the same.

The trio lied there for what felt like hours, the emotions of the past week flowing freely out of them all. Enid and Yoko continued crying out their apologies and reassurances in a hopeless effort to ground themselves and Wednesday.

Eventually, the tears began to slow and the trio was left to tiny hiccups and gently flowing tears. Wednesday spoke first, hiccuping the most of all of them, mumbling, “I sorry. I sorry I is too much. I don’t want you to leave me. Pwease pwease don’t weave! I be better! I no be bad anymowe! pwease… don’t weave me alone…”

Yoko and Enid almost started sobbing again at their little’s desperate pleas, the utter defeat in her voice destroying them, as if she’s already resigned herself to being alone. It’s clear that Enid’s not able to speak, so Yoko goes ahead instead, “Wednesday… we will never leave you. I swear to you, baby bird. We- we love you so much and you could never be too much for us. You don’t ever have to change yourself, not for us or anyone else. We never want you to change baby. We love you, just the way you are. And if you were to change, it would break our hearts. You’re perfect sweetheart.”

Enid can’t hold back anymore and she begins crying again, “Oh little raven! We love you so so much. You will never be alone, Willa. We will always be here, my love.”

“You- you don’t… you don’t hate me?”

“Never.” Yoko and Enid respond simultaneously and they both leave a huge kiss on Wednesday’s head, sealing the promise permanently in the seer’s mind.

End <3

(Sorry for the abrupt end. I just had to stop it there lol)

After MARI's Death AUBREY Headcanons

A/N: Yet another one from my Wattpad! I had a lot of fun with this one! It's very fun to write for AUBREY! I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Mental breakdowns, bullying, abuse, mentions of death, other stuff that might bother you!

Word Count: 2.4k

- Ohh! I'm gonna have fun with this one!

- AUBREY was completely taken off guard by MARI's passing, and she was immediately filled with grief.

- It wasn't as bad as what HERO went through but it was still pretty bad. 

- AUBREY had always been close to MARI, she was the only other girl in the group after all. MARI always seemed to know what to do to make AUBREY feel better, she was always there for AUBREY and now she was just gone. Like she never existed.

- It was heartbreaking for the poor girl to think that MARI had taken her own life. MARI had given AUBREY comfort when she needed it but MARI was the one who needed comfort. And AUBREY was too dumb to notice!

- She went through a period of self hatred only about a week or two after MARI had passed. Not only was MARI gone but all her other friends as well. SUNNY stopped showing up to school, along with BASIL.

- She hadn't seen HERO outside at all, and from what she heard he wasn't doing the greatest which she could believe. And she had no clue where KEL was. She was all alone.

- The situation back at her house didn't help. She loved to hangout with her friends because it gave her an excuse to leave her house, the place where her parents were always yelling and screaming at each other. 

- But now she had no reason to leave the house and she just wanted to lay in bed all day, not having the motivation to move or go anywhere. Which forced her to hear the two argue.

- AUBREY's mom didn't really care about MARI's death, telling AUBREY that she would get over it and pull through. AUBREY's dad didn't really care either, but he was a bit more supportive. Trying to give her comforting words and hugs..

- So she only had her dad, and then he left. One day she just woke up and he was gone. Nowhere to be seen. She wanted to ask her mom but she was a mess. Drinking, crying, sobbing, mess. AUBREY could not stay there, she knew that.

- So she left, and headed to the only place she could think of at the time. MARI's grave. Going there she talked to it as if it were MARI, as if MARI could hear her. She prayed that MARI could. She vented for hours to it, just sitting there on the grass. 

- This started something. AUBREY would continue to show up and talk to MARI's grave for years, informing her about what had happened, venting, asking how she was, so on. 

- AUBREY's mom's condition only seemed to get worse, she became more cold then she already was and now she was drunk almost 24/7. AUBREY tried to be there for her, just like MARI was there for AUBREY. But the only thing she got in response was her mom tugging at her hair, pulling her over the ladder that led to the attic which was AUBREY's room. 

- She screamed at AUBREY to go away, to never leave that room again, that she was a failure, nothing. That it was her fault that her father left, that MARI was gone. That her friends would never ever want to talk to her again.

- AUBREY had never been so scared of her mom, she was so scared in fact that she was trembling, she tried to climb up, to escape her mom's words. But since she was shaking she slipped and fell, hitting the back of her head on the floor. 

- Her mom just laughed, calling AUBREY a clutz, saying that she would never achieve anything in life if this was all she was gonna do. If all she was gonna do was fall. 

- AUBREY was crying, everything had been taken away from her just like that. Her friends, her dad, her mom. She scrambled back up the ladder as her mom scolded her for crying, but AUBREY wasn't listening, she just wanted to hide away forever, never ever leave attic again.

- She stayed there the next few days, feeling absolutely nothing. She didn't feel hungry, or like she needed to use the bathroom, or that she was bored, she was completely empty.

- Eventually she forced herself out, to eat and use the bathroom even though she didn't feel like she needed to, to check on her mom. But her mom was completely passed out on the couch. What else did she expect?

- She also noticed a box near the front door, confused she went over and opened the box. Inside she found a whole bunch of MARI's clothes, and there was a note on top.

- The note stated that all the clothes were for AUBREY since SUNNY's mom didn't know what else to do with them.

- She started to head to school more frequently with her new set of clothes, trying to not miss so much. She needed to be smart! But it was lonely without her friends.

- One day, after being insulted by her mom she would cry in the bathroom at school, but was caught off guard by another girl asking what was wrong. The girl's name was KIM. AUBREY had seen her before and had even heard about her, she was a complete troublemaker. No good.

- AUBREY ended up being comforted by KIM, who said that if she ever needed someone to hang with she could hang with her.

- But the next day much to AUBREY's surprise BASIL showed up! Her best friend! He was back!

- She gave him a big ol' hug! Asking him where he had been! She missed him a lot and she was so happy to see him back!

- Something seemed off about him but AUBREY just chalked it up to not being over MARI's death. AUBREY wasn't either if she was being quite honest.

- BASIL still stuck around though! He listened to AUBREY talk almost all day, trying to catch him up with all the things he missed, and even trying to hear about what had happened in his life! He wasn't much for conversation though, he was very quiet. 

- AUBREY knew that BASIL had always been very quiet but she didn't expect him to be this quiet!

- AUBREY invited BASIL to come with her and see if SUNNY was willing to come out for once, and she noticed BASIL's hesitance. It took a little convincing but eventually he agreed. 

- As they walked AUBREY was telling him all about how excited she was for high school! How she'd be the coolest kid there. Finally earning a little giggle from her long time friend. She tried to make more jokes as she could tell he was nervous. She was hoping that the terrible jokes would take his mind off things, but jokes were usually something she left up to KEL.

- AUBREY asked BASIL if he had seen KEL around and he said no, but he was confused on why KEL hadn't come to bother AUBREY. AUBREY shrugged.

- When they arrived at SUNNY's house AUBREY knocked but nobody answered, so she knocked again and the same thing, so she did it once more and still no answer. AUBREY was very disappointed. She was hoping since one of her friends came out the others would too, but apparently not. 

- She also noticed that BASIL seemed a little disappointed as well, but AUBREY quickly tried to make things better by offering to go to the park. BASIL agreed.

- As they sat at the park AUBREY tried to think for something to do, BASIL was to, or that's what he said but it looked like he was off somewhere else in his head. Eventually AUBREY came up with the idea to study at BASIL's house!

- Not only would it allow her to avoid home but she could finally go back to BASIL's house! She found his house very pretty, and since she hadn't been there in awhile she wanted to see if it still was.

- BASIL hesitated again, but once again fell victim to begging. Agreeing that they should study and his place.

- They studied in BASIL's living room, his grandma wasn't home, apparently she was out shopping. But BASIL was just so out of it. He didn't really seem to be able to focus all that well so AUBREY suggested they took a break, which BASIL happily agreed to.

- They headed to BASIL's room to relax and AUBREY spotted his photo album. She asked BASIL if they could look through it and he said that he guessed they could.

- It was emotional for AUBREY to see the memories she once shared with her friends, when they were all happy, when she was happy, when BASIL wasn't so quiet and nervous, when SUNNY was around, when HERO was around, when KEL was around.

- BASIL must've noticed this change in mood and shooed her away from the album, suggesting she take a moment to breathe. He didn't look at her when he said this, only staring at the photo album. AUBREY agreed and left the room.

- She went into the kitchen to see if they had any food, she hardly got to eat anything most days so she hoped she could nab something. She was sure BASIL nor his grandma would mind.

- When she reached in to grab what she thought was appetising she heard sobbing come from BASIL's room. She decided that she could eat later and went to check on BASIL.

- When she opened the door she saw him still on the floor, with a marker in hand. He had scribbled all over the pictures, covering everyone's faces including MARI's. 

- In a panic she yanked the album out of his hands and ran to the bathroom, trying to wash off the marker , while trying to be careful not to ruin the photos anymore then BASIL had already tried to ruin them. 

- AUBREY scrubbed desperately to get the marker off and fortunately it did start to come off the photos without damaging them. She sighed, tears pricking in the corners of her eyes. She could've lost the only pictures of MARI and all of her other friends just like that, she already lost so much, she didn't want to lose that to.

- She heard someone shuffling into the room behind her as she tried to get the rest of the marker off the photos. She already knew who it was and she felt hot anger enter her, never had she ever felt this angry before. Never.

- BASIL tried to offer an apology for his outburst but AUBREY couldn't accept that. How DARE he think he can just try and damage the only thing left of MARI's memory and then apologize. He's crazy! 

- So she yelled, she had never yelled like that before but she yelled and screamed at him. She cried and insulted him, and even felt a strong urge to punch him, but she didn't.

- She couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't the BASIL she knew anymore, he was some crazy asshole who had taken the place of BASIL.

- She dropped the album onto the ground and ran away, she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, nothing!

- As she ran she felt anger, just pure anger leak out of her. She had never been so angry, but she had a right to be angry! She did! She knew she did!

- But what she saw next was only an insult to injury. It was KEL, but he was happy, really fucking happy. He was talking and messing around with some of his friends, his new friends. 

- AUBREY couldn't believe this, not only was he happy even though MARI was gone, he had moved on, and made new friends. He had replaced them. 

- Angry tears just kept pouring out of her, she couldn't deal with him right now, not in this state, so she ran before he could see her. Running all the way back to her happy place, back to MARI's grave.

- When she got there she just collapsed onto the ground, a sobbing, crying mess. She begged for MARI to come back, to tell her what to do, to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay. That she was going to be okay. But she didn't, because she was gone.

- There was nothing AUBREY could do other than cry, what else was she supposed to do?

- AUBREY heard shuffling and looked up, trying to figure out who, or what had made the noise. KIM was there, just staring at AUBREY.

- This was when AUBREY started to stick around with KIM, KIM was the only one AUBREY even wanted to be around at this point.

- There wasn't a thing AUBREY did without KIM at this point, they started to do everything together! They went on walks, they studied, they played games, they stole, that sort of stuff.

- KIM was the one who dyed AUBREY's hair for her after AUBREY brought up wanting pink hair when she was younger, even stating that she still wanted it dyed.

- KIM eventually ended up introducing AUBREY to The Hooligans, she clicked with them almost right away.

- But they way they acted started to have an influence on AUBREY, making her act similar to them. She became mean, and intolerable, and immature. But still was one of the maturest of the group. 

- She got close with them, telling them about her old friends, SUNNY, HERO, KEL, and BASIL. They started to joke around about KEL and BASIL. The group already not liking those two for one reason or another.

- AUBREY hardly interacted with KEL only passing by him sometimes. But he seemed... Disappointed at her.

- The group of course made fun of KEL when they passed by him, often annoying him, but he stood his ground. He'd get back at them, not at AUBREY directly, but all of them.

- They did the same with BASIL, having rude comments already ready for when they passed by. But they took it a step further with him. Unlike KEL he wouldn't fight back, so they bullied him. Finding his reactions funny. Even AUBREY.

- Though she also brought the group to MARI's grave, introducing them to her. It was probably one of the only times they were respectful of something or someone. They all left flowers that may or may not have been ripped out of planters outside of BASIL's house for MARI.

- KIM ended up staying with AUBREY at MARI's grave a little longer. Reassuring her that MARI would be proud of her. 

- "Do you think she woulda' liked us?"

- "Yeah KIM, I think... I think she would've loved you guys."

Thanks for reading! <3

bts oneshot lolz || drip...drip...spill || jinkook

summary: everyone takes from jungkook, and he slowly drips. he finally cracks and his emotions spill.

warnings: talk of being used/taken advantage of, depictions of a breakdown.

characters: student council member jungkook, upperclassman seokjin

note: there are no romantic ships involved if that's what you're here for.

"aye jungkook, do you have the papers for the study guide we have to make?" taehyung asked, running toward him frantically.

"didn't you say you had it down in class? it's due tomorrow, taehyung!" jungkook sighed.

"c'mon, do it for your hyung, your friend!"

he always said that. and jungkook always obliged.

drip...drip.

"do you have the sheet music? i forgot my book," hoseok looked at his stand mate.

"...but it's both our responsibilities, hobi-hyung!" jungkook whispered. "you can't feed off of me, you said you forgot on monday, too."

"but i genuinely forgot, i was in a rush because i have dance every morning! pleaseee~?"

he just has a bad memory, right?

drip...drip.

namjoon turned to jungkook. "you have the sheet i asked for, right?"

jungkook was too focused to answer. he kept typing.

"secretary jeon! oi!" namjoon poked his arm. jungkook sighed, rolling his eyes.

"what now?" jungkook spoke a bit harsher than intended. he looked at namjoon's face. he had his puppy dog eyes on display. "don't give me that look, you're the prez here! why can't you write it?"

namjoon started his sob-story. his sister and him having to work evenings and barely scraping by. none of it was true. not a word. his family was wealthy. he had his life laid out for him on a golden brick road to absolutely fucking nowhere.

jungkook shook his head. "you get a free period on fridays and spend it talking to seokjin-sunbaenim. but fine..."

too busy, huh?

drip...drip...drip.

he had so much piled on him and he kept on going through his week. everything was going well when suddenly, jimin and yoongi ran over.

"we have a project due friday, here's the list of stuff we need. 3-D print it for us?" jimin asked, smiling sweetly. jungkook hated that smile sometimes. jungkook snatched the paper, visibly frustrated.

"friday?! it'll take days to print this at the least! even on a fast run. can't you make it out of clay?" he groaned.

"stop whining, we've done so much for you, we're your best friends, right jungkook? can't you just do us a favor this once?" yoongi begged, hands clasped together. he pouted. "jeon junggukkie, please?"

jungkook frowned. "i'll see what i can do..." he muttered, shoving the list in his bag. "see you friday." he walked away, leaving the boys to celebrate.

what happened to DIY? wasn't that previous favor the last one?

trickle...drip...drip.

Friday rolled around and the second he stepped into school, he was surrounded by the boys.

"our performance, kook!"

"the paper, kook!"

"the project, kookie!"

"the study guide, jeon!" drip...drip...S H A T T E R!

jungkook couldn't take it anymore. he just couldn't. he let out a scream, covering his ears. "I CAN'T HANDLE ALL THIS!" the group around him froze, watching him hug himself and crouch onto the floor. "I CAN'T, I CAN'T! NO DAMN FAVORS NO NOTHING! DO IT YOURSELF! AND LIKE IT BECAUSE I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING ERRAND BOY!" jungkook exclaimed, shoving them all away.

everyone backed up, accepting that they were going to fail. just when they started screaming at him again, he took off his backpack and threw it at them. they all walked away, leaving him alone. he swayed back and forth, crying into his knees. he suddenly felt a hand patting his back. "before you ask, no." he said, not looking up.

seokjin was taken aback, "it's not for a favor, i came 'cuz you kinda made a scene there. are you okay?"

kook tried to explain and started crying again. "all they did was use me...for good grades. and to rise more..."

"woah don't cry, it's okay! what's good is that they won't anymore. i was just like you, jungkook. people stepped all over me, even my handsome face." jin sighed. "and you see how i take no shit now."

"so what'd you do?"

"what you did, basically. i couldn't take it anymore and snapped. cut them all off. did what i wanted on my own time. but it took ages to get this far. and i know with time you'll be like me, a free person." jin said, patting jungkooks head. "aish, but you do have to get to class, hm? i'll walk you there since all i have right now is band."

jungkook nodded. "be my own...person." he hummed. "i don't want to go to class, all my assignments are turned in. can't i come with you?"

"no, kookie, i'm proud of you for speaking for yourself but you need to learn. like i do." jin said, bringing him to class. "if anyone asks, you were in the counselor's."

jungkook waved the older man away. he was going to be his own person now.

...with help from jin hyung of course.

fin.

word count: 757 yes i have writers block for runaways, so sue me

“Steven??”

“Marc???”

“Steven!!!”

“Marc!!!”

Someone hurts Y/N at work; and Harry’s owner of the company.

Angry young man CEO!H very protective of his lovie :)))))))))))))

It was Tuesday. Tiring Tuesday is what Y/N calls them to be because they lurk in the middle of week and drags you after a Monday. Today, it’s the worst fucking Tuesday since the day she started working at this company.

Harry offered her. More to say tried to convince her with his sweet puppy tactics, tried to lure her in with his seductive begging and would mumble the same thing in her sweaty neck while balls deep in her, “Please sweet toots ... promise I wouldn’t be there to take ye' interview, please work in my company.” He squished her sides in desperation. Y/N whined, mind too occupied in the way he’s leaking into her, the head of his cock angled to rub at her spongy wall making her hug herself into him.

“I could be a very hard boss in my office, ‘s all ‘m saying.” He wiggled his brows at her playfully, hissing when his double joke earned him a tight fit around his prick and he was soon forgetting all of it when she canted her hips to let him slick deeper inside her.

It’s not that; Y/N doesn’t wants to work at his company. When her boyfriend asked her so sweetly and stout-heartedly. Call him a sap but he actually wants to be closer to her in every possible chance he gets – she gives him an unyielding amount of comfort and happiness when she’s with him.

There’s this silver of pride he wants to take (since he’s the biggest narcissists) in being a power couple, because in the end everything will be theirs.

But she doesn’t want to seem like she took advantage of him. She didn’t study and worked hard many years to be called dependent on her boyfriend. She wanted to find her first proper job herself – feel all the odds and jitters of her firsts after UNI.

Harry called the battles off knowing his little stubborn baby’s too much a wiggler and he believes in her and he’s very proud of her previous achievements, he just wants to see her happy working with him or not.

She indeed got it. She was finally a design editor at a grand magazine company, excited to meet her boss who’s one of her absolute favourite graphic designers in the industry.

Harry and her celebrated her baby step towards her success by going out at this cafe which had cats you can pet and love on.

He was blissed to see her this happy, considering it a win win situation. But she doesn’t need to know? Does she? And Harry didn’t do anything suspicious? Did he? Nobody even know who she's! And if Y/N wants that, he’ll have it that way.

Soon her enthusiasm deflated like a sorrowful balloon whirling in the air for seconds before falling on the ground and getting it’s existence neglected, because, her boss was the meanest bitch alive.

At the moment, Y/N forced the pertinacious lump of pathetic tears down her throat, not blinking to dry out the moisture threatening to fall from her waterline feeling humiliation creep up her skin and making her want to shrink into herself and never show her face.

She listens patiently and optimistically as her boss practically screams at her for not liking the designs Y/N worked to modify for damn 62 hours and the Karen still had an audacity to degrade, Y/N.

Y/N gasped, stumbling back in fright shock when the file that had her precious designs composed in it flew and hit Y/N, the ragged corner of it scratching Y/N’s delicate skin and her boss was spinning away from her to stare coldly at the bustling city outside through the window drowning into fumes and anger.

Y/N opened her mouth, guppy like. Wanting to say something back and call her out on her act but she felt like her voice got strangled into her chest.

ShitShitShitShit.

Hammering in her brain when she felt something warm oozing from her skin and she’s panicking, wiping a vicious streak of blood from her jaw with her trembly fingers and scuttled straight to the washroom before anyone was able to see her in such vulnerable condition.

She had enough of it and left out of there without a word to anyone, not even to her cubby mate. She bottled all the emotions that were rattling against her bones to flood out of her each pore, until she could reach her home and once she did she was having a humongous and ominously scary breakdown, glad that Harry was stuck in meetings and the house was all of hers to cry ugly.

Once she was all blue lips, puffy and swelled up cheeks and eyes, nest of a hairstyle and all burned up lungs she was calming herself down with deep breaths just Harry taught her.

Scrubbing and cleaning herself off then going to bed without waiting for Harry, something very rare and the right hit in the nail for him to know she isn’t feeling well.

He was welcomed by silence. No dinner, just leftovers in fridge and his insides became all crummy and not very pleasant when he tailed to the living room and wasn’t met by his lovebug; either cramming her head to sketch down designs with an ipad in her lap while a buzz of random Netflix show accompanies her, dossing off cutely with hundreds of her study journals and magazines messed around her on the floor, or her in sleeping pyjamas with food already set up on the coffee table and brightening the whole room with her squeals when Harry announces his presence.

None of that instead he finds her in their bedroom, drowned under layers of blankies and her stuffies with room lit dark.

He coos softly, mattress dipping down from his weight and his heart expands and melts all around his other organs at how adorable she looks sleeping in his hoodie. He chuckles shaking his head at the way she has the strings of the hoodie squeezed around her head, not sure how she’s able to breath at how tight it seems around her neck.

Doing his own routine he was slipping into the bed, sighing from the warmth and how toasty she has made the bed already.

He bunched her against his chest and kissed her head then spooned her up in his arms, lips fluttering into a smile when she hummed and sniffed basking into his scent.

“Oi sleepy.” He whispers down at her cupping her neck and giggles softly when she whines mushing her cheek against his chest only to grunt sleepily and muffle her yelps into his sweatshirt.

Harry’s brows shoots up into slight bafflement then dips down into a frown when he slipped his calloused palm under her hoodie to cradle her jaw and felt something graze against his thumb that was about to press into her soft skin to bring her for a night kiss.

“Hey...” He perches himself on elbows, switching on the lamps and ignores her groans grasping the blanket she was about to pull over herself, huffing at him to let her sleep but Harry’s more stubborn than her if it involves assuring himself she’s okay and right now she’s not and Harry was already feeling it in his bones.

“Lemme see.” He persists gently, peeling the blankets and the hoodie off her head while she’s still stirring into sleep not able to open her eyes how much she tries because of the exhaustion dumped on her from whole day.

He stares at the wound she did a shit effort to cover with a gauze messily over her jaw and tiny bit area of her neck, a long bandage reaching to her ear and Harry tries to think rationally and not freak out as he touches it with cautious fingertips.

“What ... the –- fuck, Y/N what is...is this?” His mouth falls slack. His ears buzzing for a moment and he wraps his arm around her shoulder to bring her up as he leans them against the bedhead.

He feels bad when she knuckles at her eyes warily and mumbles something that’s barely audible.

“What happened, baby? Talk t’me? How did y'hurt yourself so bad?” Worried and fearful. He bombs her with questions not waiting for her to be fully awake and his heart breaks miserly upon focusing his gaze on her face, her angelic face that’s now soaked with sadness –- she’s been crying.

His loves been crying and he wasn’t there for her.

“Who did this to you?” Y/N's eyes widens abruptly. The alertness in them vivid for Harry to see under the lamp glow and she gasps, nose twitching and lip wobbling as Harry grabbed her chin and ducked to her eyelevel to ask her tenderly with a layer of strictness under his tone, “’M asking, Who did this to you, Y/N?” Her fragile heart could already take so much and she strangled out a sob lowering her head down in embarrassment.

“’M.. I’m —-.. no –..not telli –-..telling you,” She hiccups breathlessly, shaky fingers fisting onto the blanket thrown over Harry’s lap and he holds her hands kissing them gently, “I’ll know it one way or another baby. Don’t force me to get outta my way to find —–“ His soul stabbing glare was enough for Y/N to ramble and at first he thought he didn’t heard her right, that she was mumbling too much but when the reality seeped in gradually Harry almost froze in his spot.

“I know it’s very shameful —..” Y/N stammers barely able to get in a breather and Harry’s head snapped at her words, removing his nails away from making little graves in his palms and his jaw which almost felt like breaking from the hinges from how painfully furious he had it set relaxes as he tries to calm himself down and not to grab his keys and drive to that bitch's house to trash her place.

Because how fucking dare she treat anyone like that in his own fucking company.

“Hey, hey. Now none of that toots. Look at me darling, oh my sweet moppet ... shh.” It slices his heart in pain to see Y/N like this -- so small and disheartened. How dare she hurt his such delicate, sweet, loving girl like that? How!?

“You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself moppet. She should be, fo’ being such a heartless prick.” He spat, his guts full of bitter and hatred. His skin hot, his grip on her tightening protectively and his chin quivers trying to lock all his anger inside and not to burst out like a pressure cooker.

“I’ll deal with her tomorrow.” He nods curtly to himself, poking his tongue to wet his grimacing lips and Y/N was too woolly to get what’s he’s saying.

His gaze flitters back on her. His demeanour turned incredibly soft and gentle for her smooching a big generous kiss to her salty lips and then to both of her cheeks cared in both of his palms, “Are y'okay? D'you want me to take you to hospital?” She shakes her head mewling and melting and caressing herself into his wrist.

“Why didn’t you call me baby?” He asks her doing anything in his power to mask the hurt in his tone and sighs touching his forehead to her's when Y/N sniffled, “Didn’t wan’ you to worry.” He slid his forearm under her bum and scooched her atop of him, patching tiny careful pecks to her jaw.

“But, that’s love moppet. Worryin’ bout you, takin’ care of ye' and beating anyone raw who even dares to have evil intentions towards you,”

“Remember the time y'snubbed that one guy’s oh so expensive shoes who was very rude to me at one of your graduations party?” His simper turning into a proper ironic grin when she giggled hoarsely nodding along and the tension in his muscles released watching her getting better.

“Proper broke his big toe with your heel darling.” He giggles with her and then Y/N realised how sad and awful Harry’s feeling, how it’s hurting him the same way it hurt her an year ago.

“How about we have a glass of milk .... it’ll help us sleep less grumpy y'know.” He murmurs in the crook of her neck, elbow cocooned safely around her shoulder blade as he kisses the side of her head again and again nose buried in her hair to smell her treacly smell.

.

In the morning he was tragic to hear Y/N sound so heartbroken and dejected as she told him, “I’m going to resign and accept your offer.” Her smile small and sad, hugging him looping her limbs around his torso lazily.

“’kay baby, but first eat your brekkie.” He kissed her hair and squished her pout when he moved away to make some calls to his assistant.

Y/N had no-idea what he was upto. Glad that he was driving her to the company and that he was immensely supportive of her decision, her insides pooled with warmth and giddiness when he tried to cheer her up with his silly jokes and singing along the radio murmuring rubbish whenever he forgot the lyrics.

She was utterly confused when upon reaching he was giving the keys to valet boy to park his car and interviewing their fingers in a strong grip before leading her inside, even though she should be the one to do so.

She sputters a, “Huh?” when instead of telling her he’d wait for her in the lobby he’s rounding the corner towards the elevators and turns his wrist to push her infront of him to keep her closer to himself all the time.

When the doors are sliding apart the people scurrying outside halts for a moment, not looking Harry in eyes and keeping their heads low.

Phones were already rung in the building that Mr. Styles will be coming un-announced and everyone should be prepared to face the consequences if they stumble upon him – because well he isn’t in such a nice mood to start with.

“Harry.” She pokes him in ribs feebly, stepping away from him feeling timid due to few pair of eyes in elevator watching her awkwardly and maybe judgingly.

The tension in space could be cut through knife, as if everyone’s holding their breaths and she pouts taking a good look at Harry who’s smirking smugly confident in his element.

Do they all think her boyfriend’s way too intimidating and out of reach for them? They should know he’s such a sweetie!

Y/N huffs. Folding her arms over chest when Harry paws at her hips and pulls her back against his chest resting his chin atop of her head with a shit eating grin.

In all seriousness. Showing them that’s she’s his's and belongs under his wings, which will keep her safe and protected till his death.

“How did you know my boss's office’s on tenth floor?” She squints up at him suspiciously.

“Hmm. Dunno, moppet. Magical powers or summat?” He teases her, putting a hand at the small of her back to nudge her forward making her blush pink and ducks down to whisper in her ear, “You got this toots.” Biting her earlobe playfully to stroke down her anxiety upon sensing her hesitancy to step in the hallway that has cubicles lined up.

He already got this. He ordered his assistant to get the resign letter ready and showing her who’s the boss here’s not much of hurdle for him.

It’s weird. Bloody weird. Y/N wants to turn back and run away because the moment they step inside the whole damn hallway falls eerily pin drop silent and everyone’s peeking up from the short walls of their cubicles and then diverting their eyes immediately in embarrassment and apology seeing Harry behind her.

The ones who’re standing bows their heads lightly in respect for him and scurrying away to give him a way and that’s insanely surprising and weird.

Harry on the other hand was no stranger to those bogey looks. Of curiosity, uneasiness and dread when he passes through the crowd of his employs. Y/N is.

Slowly perhaps. It starts to sink in— jumbled and disoriented when she looks back at Harry. He’s keeping his head held high and shoulders tilted back with poise and conceitedness, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants and because though it makes him look like a proper snob— he is their boss and the owner of this company, he should act like one.

“Mr. Styles.” Y/N’s boss assistant Marina who’s usually very chirpy (and undeserving of all the yelling she gets from her boss) turns pale at Harry’s presence. She’s the only person Y/N's very keen of, now she’s fretting towards them with her head lowered and tries to stammer something but Harry’s walking past her with his lips pursued as he goes inside without knocking.

“Harry...” Y/N tattles behind him, lunging to clutch onto the hem of his suits coat, to scold him to stop babying her and let her handle it herself, too late since she’s already meeting with the sight of her overly stressed and upset boss.

Her knees almost gives in when Harry snaps his fingers for the employees that were inside to give them privacy and takes in the most relaxing breath of oxygen, feeling a gag of bitterness in his mouth from even looking at her.

Y/N gasped. Her boss (which she’s not sure is her boss anymore) gasped. The sweet assistant Marina gasped. When Harry told her in the most composing way– though his blood’s boiling absolutely sheathing through his veins.

“You’re fired.” His demeanour cold and voice monotone not giving a fuck how much she shakes and cries for his forgiveness.

“Mr. Styles. I..I can explain–-" She stammers rushing from the back of her desk and stops obediently when Harry gestures her to not to take another step forward.

“There’s no excuse for abuse. I don’t want your lame explanations, I can’t have an abusive asshole running my company for me ... we might be strict on our employees but we aren’t monsters.” He grits, his eyes flaring piercingly with rage and showing no empathy towards her as she pleads him to forgive her mistake– those bricks of money makes you work baby.

“You hurt someone so dearly to me ‘n think I’ll forgive ye'?” The assistance eye’s blows away at newfound information, Harry Styles love of life’s none other than Y/N. The girl she used to have smoked sandwiches and milkshakes with in their lunch breaks.

“I didn’t know ...” He chuckles ironically at her hypocrisy and that’s the last straw for him before he’s threatening her to call the security and she’s getting out of there cursing him under her breath but Harry grabs her from elbow roughly, conceding his brow at her dauntingly.

"Apologise to her right fuckin' now."

"Sorry, Mrs Styles. I'm very ashamed of what I did." She says nervously and Y/N nods not able to speak from the butterflies that are flapping around her stomach, which sure didn't go unnoticed at Harry's side and he smirks at Y/N.

When they’re left alone. Jovial cackles are bouncing against the walls and he’s pressing his hip to the desk, securing his hands around his triceps as he folds his arms infront of his chest entertaining himself to the cute and fuzzy reactions of his girl at what just happened.

“See. Told ya, nobody could defy my bossiness at work.” He grins at her, jerking his hand towards his chest to usher her closer to him and boops her nose smacking an obnoxiously loud kiss to her mouth when she toddles in his arms.

“The offers still there,” He looks down at her cheekily and she shakes her head, a small smile kicking up her lips at his determination and devotion.

“Couldn’t say no to you, could I? What will you be owning secretly next time?” She nips at him, planting her palms firmly against his midriff feeling the crispiness of his shirt underneath his jacket.

“A bakery shop ....?” He muses in the most pondering voice and she scoffs at him through pattering of giggles, “Suck it up Mr. Styles.”

“Hey! I know my prick’s huge but not tha’ much for me to suck it myself.”

Y/N chokes onto her own spit. Shaking her head at him.

“Your innocent employees knows how vulgar you’re?”

“Uhmm. Infact, She gets very hot hearin’ me like tha'.” He bobs his head grinning at her wickedly and she smacks his shoulder, “Harry!”

“Yeahhh! Tell everyone how good I make you feel babbbyy—....” Y/N clamps her hand around his mouth to muffle his lewd fake moaning.

“You’re so embarrassing.” She grumbles wiping his spit sticking to her palm down her skirt and spins around to head for the door expecting him to follow her.

“You don’t talk to boss like that!” He trails behind her, “Boss my ass!” She quips out a squeal looking around to make sure that nobody saw it when Harry slapped her bum.

“Boss someone’s ‘bout to get a pink ass.”

I’m Here For You

cr. video by jynuho on twt

Pairing : Boyfriend!Yunho x reader

Genre : hurt/comfort, angst, lil fluff

Word count : 915 words

Notes : Please excuse my grammar TT I’m not a native English speaker and still confused with grammar also have a poor vocabulary, thank you TT and I made this because I feel like yunho is THAT person who could soothe an anger and rage away

Summary : Stress that lead you to destruction, but he’s there for you. Ease your pain and make you feel more calm

Trigger Warning // mental breakdown, mention of wanting to die, tantrum, throwing things, self-harm (pls let me know if I missed any)

Nothing going as you want these days, everything was a mess. Your work, your study, your relationship with people around you, especially your parents. You know they just want anything the best for you but you also want to live your life freely. All of that make you feel stressed, and then here you are. Inside your own room, locked door, curtain closed to prevent the sunlight coming through, lamp off and only sound of the clock fills the silence.

You feel mad, you feel sad, you feel miserable, you feel depressed. There are so many thoughts on your head right now, why all the mistakes like yours, why are you the only one to blame when it's not really your fault, why it must be you to take the blame, and why it seems like you don't deserve to be happy for once ?

With all of the thoughts, you start to cry. Feeling hurt, and heavy inside your chest. It's already hard enough for you to keep yourself alive, you always tell yourself it's worth to be alive, but why does everyone make you feel you should have died ?

Another wave overwhelmed feeling crash you and make you crying louder. You screaming on top of your lungs, grabbing anything near you and throw it away until it break. Can't control your emotion, you start to being aggressive. You swept everything from your desk, throwing anything on your sight also start to banging your head to the wall.

You heard the sound of the door being knocked hard, you wanted to yell 'go away' to someone behind it but you're too weak. You slumped against the wall and sat on the floor. Sobbing like a mess you already are.

"Y/N !" that person shouted your name and hurried coming to you after succeed opened your door forcefully.

"Yunho..." you let out his name between your sobs. He hugged you tightly just like he will lost you anytime if he doesn't do that.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here, I'm here. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

His hands caressing your back and patting your head, you buried your head to his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, calming yourself down from the furious emotion you had before.

"There, there, y/n. Don't worry, I'm here. I love you, okay ? I love you so much."

Like a magic, his words always soothe you and make you feel warm. His hugs, his presence, his everything always makes you feel calm, warm and loved. Only him.

Yunho is your boyfriend, you two have been dating for about 2 years now and he already know your darkest side. This destruction behavior you have, the stress you always keep for yourself.  You know he has his own stress, so you don't want to burden him more with yours. Even though he always says you need to share your stress with him,

You feels sorry to him, with fact that he had to trapped with you. But Yunho says nothing beside he is here because he loves you, he is here because he knows you need him the most. You don't need to be sorry for him because he is the one who wanted to be with you. He also said your darkest side is a part of you too, so he try to love you as you are. Your everything. Yunho also makes you to be a better person, as your dark side doesn't appear as often as before you met him. He is truly your savior.

Yunho was away for 3 days because of his work, and when he was not around everything on your life worsened. The destruction was the result of your pilled stress, the emotions you've held back these times. And he came back to see you at the right time.

"I love you too, I'm sorry I became the monster again." you said, still holding on to Yunho. Never want him to go to anywhere right now.

He shushed you softly, "you are not a monster. Tell me everything after you ready, yeah ? I'm always here to listening."

You hug Yunho and pressed your head more to his chest, looking for more warmth and calming sensation he give through his hug.

"Does your head hurt ?" you shake your head slowly, he sighed, "I think I will change your wall with mattress later if you keep on banging your head there. You know your head isn't kind of iron, right ?"

He checks on you but also scolded you with his sense of humor. You chuckles a bit, making Yunho smile adorn his face.

"Feeling better ? Do you want to grab ice cream from the store down the alley ? Or you want me to cuddle you to sleep ?"

He parted himself from you, hands cupping your face and his eyes looking straight to your eyes. Thumbs erasing the trace of your tears, and softly brushing the hair from your face.

"Can we cuddle and drinking hot chocolate ?" you asked shyly. He boop your head with his own after finding how cute you are right now in his eyes.

"Of course, anything you want, baby. C'mon, we will make hot chocolate and cuddle. But first, I need you to stay in the living room while I cleaned this room."

Ah, right, your room looks like a wrecked ship right now. A wave of embarrassment suddenly hit you.

"I’m sorry, Yunho."

"It's okay, baby. I love you."

"Love you, too."

withered petals

order 027, anon: large strawberry milk tea with mango jelly for treasure's Hyunsuk

warnings: angst !!

summary: Hyunsuk rushes over to comfort you after you feeling unloved leads to a breakdown

word count: 1k !

"become withered flower petals even when stepped on"

[a/n]: life is hard as someone who's never been loved :c it makes watching kdramas so hard... if you need a warm hug of an album to listen to, Bucket List by BIG Naughty is nice and soothing :") it even has one hard rock song in there for when you wanna scream all your pain away LOL

Hyunsuk runs his fingers through his hair, panting. practicing that dance routine has got him tired, but he's still got you on his mind. with a smile, he unlocks his phone for the 6th time and stares at your contact name in his phone. then, his phone starts to vibrate in his hands and what a surprise! it's you calling!!

after being called 'undateable' in school by some of the mean, popular kids, you came home with your eyes brimming with tears. the house was empty, a perfect place to cry but also the worst place to be when you're on the verge of a breakdown. you bursted, fell back against the wall and sobbed hard for 10 minutes. it was after those ten minutes that you finally brought yourself to call Hyunsuk.

"heyy y/n, what's up? i was just thinking of--"

an uncontrollable sob escapes your lips and you press a hand over your mouth, willing yourself to calm down for just one second.

"hi, Hyunsuk! how are you?" you ask in a dangerously shaky voice.

there's a pause on the other end of the line as Hyunsuk realizes that you're not okay.

"hey, wait... [y/n], is everything okay?" he asks.

you stay silent, worried that if you speak, you'll start crying again.

"you're home, right? if you wait just 5 minutes... if you put on your favourite song and listen to it from start to finish, by the time it's over, i'll be at your doorstep, okay?"

you reply to him by humming and he hangs up, throws on his jacket, grabs his keys and runs out of the practice room he was in. on the other hand, you shakily open up your favourite playlist and listen to the first song that comes on shuffle.

Hyunsuk didn't lie; he never does. by the time your song ends, you hear the doorknob of your front door turning. he has a key to your house in case anything bad happens, so he lets himself in and rushes to where you're still sitting on the cold floor.

"[y/n]?!" he exclaims, bending down and placing a hand on either of your arms.

"i-i'm okay," you stutter while lying, clenching your teeth.

"no, no you're not and that's okay. let's get you up off the floor first," Hyunsuk says, helping you up and walking with you to your room, where he helps you lay down on your bed. he brushes any stray, loose hairs out of your eyes before he asks you if there's anything you want to talk about.

"there's a lot... and nothing at the same time," you say, laughing slightly.

Hyunsuk nods and smiles along with you, a sincere expression on his face.

"but these days i just... really feel like there's no place for me here. i feel like i need some kind of value or worth to be here, like someone has to love me for me to keep being here. no one loves me and i wonder why i'm still here," you explain quietly, your head clearing up a bit after sharing your thoughts with someone.

Hyunsuk places his hand over one of yours before he speaks.

"you know, [y/n], i hate to say this, but you've got it wrong. you very very very much are loved. i love you, for one, and you have family, friends and other people who love you, too."

you open your mouth to respond, but Hyunsuk doesn't let you. he knows exactly what you're about to say.

"i know they don't love you in that way, but it's still love, right? they love you enough to not want you to leave, so of course there is a place for you here. even then, regardless of love, you have a place here. you don't have to be famous or doing big and grand things to have a meaningful life. your life is meaningful because its yours and because it's you. so don't be discouraged, okay, [y/n]? one day you'll receive the love you long for, too, but for now, just know that you don't have to wait for that love."

you let out a sigh of relief and smile up at Hyunsuk, who smiles back at you. to be honest, you kind of spaced out when Hyunsuk said i love you, for one, but were able to hear everything he said. it was everything you needed to hear and more, and you're grateful that you called Hyunsuk and that he rushed over so quickly.

"did i talk too much?" Hyunsuk nervously asks, and you shake your head, no, at him. he smiles in relief.

"ah, let me add that those mean school bullies who speak nonsense are all... trash...heads. and even if they trample on you, you've got to be like flower petals that never lose their scent, okay? don't let them taint you in any way."

you nod with a smile, butterflies stirring within you at his poetic use of language. the way he compares you to flowers and petals makes you so soft.

"is there anything else you want to talk about?" he asks.

"yeah..." you nervously start, quickly catching Hyunsuk's attention.

"you said you loved me... what does that mean?" you ask the boy.

his face goes red and he bites his lip to stop himself from smiling. meanwhile, your heart is quickly racing, hoping time will move faster so you'll get an answer sooner.

"[y/n], that... could i answer that on another day when i can explain to you properly?" Hyunsuk says.

you give him a confused look, and he explains, "i want to properly confess to you one day. right now i don't want you to stress about that, too. it slipped my tongue, i'm sorry."

"thank you, Hyunsuk," you tell the boy who still has rosy cheeks.

"ah! did you get to eat? drink any water? let me go fix you something and i'll be right back! oh, wait... let me put on your favourite show before i run down so you won't be lonely," Hyunsuk says, scrambling to open Netflix on your laptop.

you laugh at him and how he acts like he owns the place, unlocking your laptop and running downstairs to make food in your kitchen. but, if someone is willing to do all of this for you, then you're definitely valuable. even if no one did, even if it felt like you were the loneliest person on the planet, you are still valuable.

Comfort

Pairing: Johnny Depp x reader

Description: You have a tough day at work and Johnny is there to comfort you.

Warnings: Self-doubt, Johnny being the emotional support we all need

Rating: -

Notes: Everyone, it is okay to make mistakes over and over! It always gets worse before it gets better. I promise.

Recently I got a brand new job as a barista at the local coffee shop close to me and Johnny’s apartment. I don’t really need to work, but I wanted to because lately my anxiety has been getting bad. I can always tell because when I’m just sitting around doing nothing or watching a movie or a YouTube video, I’m always shaking my leg or biting my nails. And if it’s not my nails then it’s the inside of my cheek or my lip. And I notice that when I’m on my phone and I see pictures of girls with beautifully done nails and when I look down at mine, they are bitten down and not flattering at all.

So what better way of keeping your mind busy than getting a job!

In all honesty when I was first being trained, it seemed like a whole lot to remember and I was overwhelmed. But I kept telling myself that I was going to get through it. That it was worth it because it was going to help me.

It was a Friday, and it’s one of the busiest days at the coffee shop. I came into work prepared and ready to take on the day. Reassured that all I had to do was prepare the drink the customer wanted and that would be it.

But I guess the day had other plans because it was halfway through my shift and a lot of people started to pile in and order a lot at once. I was freaking out and I made one of the drinks wrong. My coworkers said it was okay to start all over again, so I grabbed another cup and began doing so- when I fumbled and dropped the cup spilling all the coffee everywhere. That caused everyone to stare and that caused me to go into a breakdown. So I ran into the back, took off my apron, and got in my car and drove home. I somehow kept myself from crying on the way home until I walked into our apartment. I let my tears fall and my legs went with them. I was hoping that Johnny was home so that this state of panic I was in would soon be over. But sadly he wasn’t. He was filming today and I forgot that.

After an hour or so of crying on the floor, I picked myself up and went to the bathroom. Starting the water but not getting in. I just wanted to cry until I couldn’t anymore. I just kept looking at myself in the mirror. Calling myself a screw up. I screwed up everything. I’m probably going to get fired now because of what I did. Leaving work in the middle of my shift all because I messed up a drink. I was so stupidly sensitive. Saying all of these things out loud made me realize that it was actually true. Which made me cry even more. And me being overly sensitive and noticing it made me cry even more. I was a mess. How could Johnny love me?

Knock knock

I didn’t even care. He was going to notice the sounds of sobbing over the running water, and he was even going to notice the smudges of mascara on the floor downstairs. He paid attention to all of those details when coming home and knowing something is wrong.

As the door opened I didn’t even look up. I didn’t want to look into those beautiful brown eyes because I knew they were filled with sadness. I knew that they also had a hint of disappointment. Just like mine.

“Honey..”

He ran over to accompany me on the white tiled floor of the bathroom.

He lifted my chin up and I tried so hard not to look into those eyes but it’s like they are magnetic. And as I caved in. As I looked into those orbs of so many feelings. I cried even harder. There wasn’t even a hint of disappointment. It just wasn’t there. I was wrong. But not about me. I was right about everything I said about me.

“Honey, what happened? Shhh..just talk to me, sweetheart. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to feel the way you are feeling. Just let it all out.”

He was hugging me and rubbing up and down my back. I felt helpless..but also loved. A weird combination really..

“I-I screwed up again, Johnny. Again. I can’t do anything right!”

I screamed and sobbed as I relived those moments at the coffee shop.

He shushed me and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. He turned around and grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed my nose with it.

“My baby. Do you know why you mess up? Why do you make mistakes everyday?”

I kind of look down in disbelief at his words.

“I-I knew y-you were disap-ppointed.”

He shook his head and pinched my arm. He tapped my nose. He ran his fingers through my hair and held my hands. Proving that I was indeed human.

“Because you are a human being. It is in our nature to screw things up. You know what? I have been acting for a long time. And I still mess up alll the time! Hard to believe right? But I do. I mean it could just be because I’m so deviously handsome that I have to make up for my good looks by messing up my lines all the time. Just to balance things out. You know?”

I laughed at his cockiness.

“And if we were all good at everything and never made mistakes then I would seriously be worried about the human race. Like could you imagine everyone being perfect? The world would be so boring and lose all of this colorful diversity! And that would be so…”

“Depressing?”

“Sure! Depressing.”

I stopped crying and looked up at Johnny with a small smile.

“Oh my gosh- I’m sorry I’m going to need to call 911 because your smile is too pure for this world. You are at least going to get life in prison.”

I laughed and jumped into a hug. He laughed with me and we just sat there together. Hugging and enjoying each other.

“Johnny..?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we watch a Disney movie? And eat ice cream?”

“Ohhh, Tangled and Cookies n’ Cream?”

CHAPTER FOUR: YOU’RE NOT AN EASY MISSION

genre/warnings: angst, fluff, slow burn, enemies to lovers (?), kidnapping, criminal!tbz, mentions of guns & knives, suicide and depression mention, a bit of abuse, sangyeon is lowkey very mean in this chapter.

word count: 2.2k

summary: y/n really goes through it.

chapter three

“Finally.” You look behind Hyunjae to see Sangyeon, Juyeon, Changmin and Eric walking towards you, Sangyeon looking like he is about to kill you. You’re dead. He grabs your wrist and rips you out of Hyunjae’s grip. He drags you all the way to the house, never loosening his grip. When you guys step inside, the rest is already there waiting in the living room.

Sangyeon let’s go of you and you touch your wrist that has turned red. He turns around and before anyone even gets to speak, you feel the palm of his hand across your cheek. He hit you. You hear some of the boys gasp as you start tearing up, your cheek burning. You’re done for.

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! WE SHOULD’VE KILLED YOU WHEN WE FIRST SAW YOU, BUT NO WE GAVE YOU A NICE ROOM AND WERE NOTHING BUT SWEET TO YOU. AND THIS YOUR REWARD?!” He yells as everyone just stares at the two of you.

“YOU WERE JUST GONNA REPORT US HUH? YOU WERE JUST PRETENDING TO CARE FOR US SO YOU COULD JUST BETRAY US WHEN WE LEAST EXPECTED IT, RIGHT?” His hand lifts up again and you flinch expecting another slap, but it never comes. You open your eyes to Hyunjae grabbing Sangyeon’s wrist, stopping him from slapping you. “Enough.”

Sangyeon takes a deep breath finally coming to his senses. He didn’t want to hit you, but as soon as they finally found you, he saw red. “Changmin, Eric, take her to the storage room.” He orders before walking away

When you enter the storage room, they close the door behind you. Jacob told you once before about how the storage room is the only room with a lock or cameras in the house. You sit down on the floor and finally breakdown, sobbing loudly.

When you’ve finally calmed down, you hear the lock and the door opens. It’s Jacob. He comes in with an emergency kit and gives you a faint smile. “I would ask if you’re okay but I already know the answer to that.” He tries to joke and you give him a small smile.

“Let’s see.” He gently grabs your jaw and starts cleaning up the wound on your cheek, the other one still red from the hit. You notice the bandage around his arm, around the place you stabbed him. “Sorry, I didn't know it was you.” You mutter looking down. “It’s okay, I understand.” He softly pats your shoulder.

When he’s done with your face he cleans up the wounds on your knee and elbows. You give him a barely audible ‘thank you’ and he leaves to get you blankets and a pillow. He tells you goodnight, once you two made up your ‘bed’ and as soon as he leaves you break down again, and so you cry yourself to sleep.

»»————-　➴　————-««

Weeks go by and you’re back in your room again, which now has locks on the window and a camera. Jacob brings you your meals and the only time you go outside your room is when you go to the bathroom or when they have to take you with them on their missions. During the missions you just quietly stay put.

Ever since the day you tried to escape you haven’t spoken or even looked at the boys, besides jacob. They, except for Sangyeon, tried to speak to you a few times, but you just ignored them and they eventually gave up. You’ve been crying yourself to sleep every night and besides eating all you do is sleep and shower, just waiting for your days to be over.

You’re awake but your eyes are closed trying to get more sleep. Winter is coming and it’s starting to get colder. You’ve been here for about two months now. You put your blanket over your head and sigh.

Hyunjae knocks on your door slowly opening it. You look up expecting Jacob. You two make eye contact for a second before you look down again. He gives you your breakfast and you nod at him.

You expect him to leave, but he doesn’t, instead he sits next to you on your bed. He inspects you as you eat. You look exhausted, eyes puffy from crying all night. He feels his heart breaking looking at your state. He feels so helpless, he wants to do something but he knows that he can’t. He knows how stubborn Sangyeon is, he’ll never let you go.

“I’m sorry.” He mutters, you look up at him confused. “I’m sorry I got you into this situation.” He feels like it’s all his fault, he was the one that pleaded Sangyeon, who wanted to kill you at the store after they took everything, to just keep you as a maid. Usually he would be the one to propose the idea of killing a witness, but as soon as he laid eyes on you in the store, he felt something he has never felt before, something he can't describe.

You don’t know why but you feel tears coming up. You try to turn away but Hyunjae grabs you and pulls you in a hug. You rest your head on his shoulder and start crying as he rubs your back.

Hyunjae holds you close, his heart racing faster than he thought was possible. After you have finally calmed down, Hyunjae tells you to rest up and you sleep till Jacob gives you your dinner, returning to your usual schedule.

A week later not much has changed besides the fact that now both Jacob and Hyunjae also give you your meals. They’re the only ones you interact with making small talks when they drop by.

“What does your room look like?” You ask Jacob, who places your food beside you. “Want me to show it to you?” You nod excitedly and he laughs. “Eat up then i’ll show you.”

After you’re done eating, Jacob brings you to his room. When you enter his room you’re hit with the scent of vanilla and rose. Around his wall he has posters of movies and his bed is neatly made up, just like the rest of his room. “Wow, it's pretty.” “Thank you.” He smiles looking down with his hands in his pockets.

Jacob doesn’t know why but every time he’s around he gets a bit nervous and his heart starts beating faster. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling like this since you're their captive, but he can’t help it.

You look around some more while Jacob sits on the bed. You turn your head to the right and look at the ground, spotting a gun in the corner of his room. You decide to not point it out and go on with your mini tour.

After you and Jacob talk about random things for like an hour, you go back to your room. “It was nice seeing you get out of your room again. My room is always open for you to hang out!.” Jacob smiles and you thank him before he closes the door behind him.

A few days later you have another big mental breakdown again, the fifth of the month. You want to leave. You need to leave. But you can’t. Out of frustration you grab your hair. You can’t take it anymore. You needed to find a way out. But how?

You already tried to escape once it’s impossible to do that now. You needed to end this. Suddenly Jacob’s gun comes to your mind. You needed to end them. You started laughing. You were just gonna do it, you were going to kill infamous criminals The Boyz.

You spent the next couple of days trying to come up with a plan when Jacob one day mentions they were going to have a movie night later that day, he asked if you wanted to join them but you declined. After he left you couldn’t help but smile. Tonight is the night.

»»————-　➴　————-««

“NO! No horror movies.” Eric tries to fight Changmin of him, earning a bite from the older one. Eric starts screaming and let’s go of the remote. Changmin grabs it and starts the movie. The tv is so loud they can’t hear any noises from outside the living room.

You walk into Jacob’s room about 20 minutes after the movie started, grabbing his gun. Thank god it’s loaded. You slowly walk downstairs and sneak into the kitchen, grabbing a big sharp knife. Before you enter the living room you take a deep breath preparing yourself. The boys are so into the movie they don’t notice you walking in, and thank god the lights are out too. You approach Sunwoo who is the closest to your reach. You point your knife at his neck and get ready to use it.

Sangyeon looks to his side and notices you behind Sunwoo, holding something in both of your hands. He gasps when he sees the knife and gun. “Sunwoo! Behind you!” The boys all jump up and the light goes on.

Changmin speeds to you and grabs you from behind. “Oh my God, Y/n, What the fuck.” Sunwoo breathes in shock. “Y/n! Put that down.” Hyunjae tries to stop you. You feel like you're going out of your mind. You start to laugh hysterically and then start to scream. “NO! let me go NOW!.” You laugh again. “Let me go or you guys are dying.”

“Y/n please.” Jacob tries. “I SAID LET ME GO!” You desperately try to wiggle out of Changmin's arms. You suddenly feel a tear running down your cheek. You didn’t even notice you were crying. “Y/n don’t be stupid put that dow-.” Sangyeon speaks up but you cut him off. “SHUT UP!” Anger starts racing in you, hearing his voice. “You’re the last one I wanna hear right now!” You start to see red as you break down in sobs.

“You guys are horrible. You guys are the reason I don't wanna live anymore. You guys ruined my life. YOU ALL RUINED ME. Either you guys are dying or it’s me!” “Y/n, nobody is dying tonight.” Hyunjae tries to slowly approach you.

“Oh no?” You give them a wicked smile. You notice Changmin’s grip on you loosened a bit giving you the opportunity to lift your hand that’s holding the gun. You point it up to your head. Changmin freezes up and Hyunjae’s eyes widen in fear. “Y/n!-”

Before you can pull the trigger, Juyeon knocks the gun out of your hand letting it fall onto the ground. You let out a loud scream before falling on your knees. You can’t stop your tears from falling and loud sobs from coming out of your mouth.

Both Jacob and Hyunjae run over to you and Hyunjae holds you close to his chest. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He tries to shush you. You grasp onto his shirt and start to hyperventilate. Jacob kneels before you and runs his fingers through your hair trying to calm you down, while the rest of the boys just stand there in shock.

Hyunjae picks you up and carries you to your room. You finally calm down as he lays you down on the bed. You crawl between the sheets, your back facing him. Hyunjae stays quiet and strokes your hair as you fall asleep.

“I can’t believe she tried to kill me!” Sunwoo puts his hand in the air out of disbelief as Hyunjae walks into the room. “She tried to kill all of us, don’t feel special.” Kevin huffs earning a glare from Sunwoo. “But still!” “Shut up, she’s finally asleep.” Hyunjae sits on the couch.

“How could she be like this?” Eric sighs. Jacob takes a deep breath, he’s been trying to stay calm since the day you tried to run away, but right now the frustration is taking over him.

“Are we surprised she’s like this?!” His voice raises a bit, surprising the members. “Didn’t you guys hear her? We ruined her! She did nothing to this deserve this, yet we got her into this stupid situation!”

“You just had to slap her.” Younghoon turns to Sangyeon. “I don’t know, I didn't want to.” Hyunjae rolls his eyes. “Then apologize.” “Like apologizing is gonna do something.” Sangyeon huffs. “Right, I'm sure she hates us for life now.” Eric leans back in his seat.

“Can’t we just let her go.” Jacob groans. “No! That's out of the question. She’ll report us right away.” “But Sangye-.” “No.”

“And what if we convince her to not report us?” Haknyeon smirks. “You wanna torture her?” Changmin gives Haknyeon a confused look. “Listen, I have a plan.” Everyone groans and Chanhee rolls his eyes. “Not again.”

“No listen, this plan is better.” Everyone turns their attention to Haknyeon as he starts explaining his plan. “Okay so, We’ll just let her live with us as part of the group instead of her being a maid or prisoner or something like that.” Haknyeon smiles as if it’s the best idea in the world.

“We’re called the boyz, not the boyz plus one girl.” Eric snorts. “Okay, but she won’t report her friends, or herself, right?”

“I think it’s a good idea.” Juyeon agrees with Haknyeon. “Of Course you do.” Chanhee sighs. “Well the idea isn’t that bad.” Kevin speaks up. “We could use some help.” “Right, I agree too.” Hyunjae stands up, he doesn’t really like the idea, but everything is better than watching you suffer because of them. After a lot of thinking all of the boys finally agree and go to bed.

»»————-　➴　————-««

tag list:

@beauchamp-fraser @n-xrmy @givememunjang @choidokim @stxrles-nxmss

Hey Eve how are you doing I hope you're having a good day. Could you possibly if you want to make a fic like after the disownment fic and there's an interview with Sirius, Remus or (or the lions) on how they felt and there reactions and stuff only if you want to ofc I hope you are having a good day

This isn't a social media fic, but it does include include this prompt and was combined with an ask for Sirius having a hard time in the wake of a breakdown because he was doing so well before. Please pay attention to the TWs and let me know if I missed any. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

TW child abuse (past), angst, past trauma, mentions of going to therapy, and feeling overwhelmed

The studio cameras hadn’t seemed scary in a long, long time. Sirius stared at the white floor, toying with his ring and trying not to run screaming from the building; this is for them, he reminded himself. For everyone like me who never had someone speak up for them. The metal folding chair was cold under him.

“Sirius?” There was no hint of teasing in Marlene’s voice. “Are you ready?”

He had already saved himself and Regulus. Now it was time for the rest of them. “Oui.”

“Rolling in three, two, one…”

“My name is Sirius Black,” he said, channeling all the strength and control he could manage into his voice as he straightened up. “I’m 27 years old, the center and captain for the Gryffindor Lions hockey team, and a Stanley Cup champion.” He took a breath. “And I grew up in an abusive home. Last week, my biological parents officially disowned me for refusing to go back into the closet and under their control. It wasn’t dramatic. There was no media present. There was a lot of paperwork.

“But I’m not here to talk about that.” He swallowed, and felt some of his confidence return. Behind the camera, Marlene gave him an encouraging look with a shine in her eyes. “I’m here to talk to everyone else in my situation and let you know that you’re not alone. You can get out of there, and you can be the freest version of yourself. For the next month, 1/12 of all proceeds from Lions tickets will go to charities supporting abuse survivors and those currently living in abusive situations. My story is not the only one. We can make a difference.”

----------------

Sirius laid on his back on the lobby couch, letting “Radio Gaga” thump in his ears and drown out the tremors in his body. He had never said it publicly before—as far as the rest of the hockey world knew, his family was only rumored to be strict. He had been hesitant to do the video at first despite the tsunami of questions flooding their social media, and it wasn’t until Marlene suggested the charity aspect that he agreed.

Sirius didn’t like press. He liked it even less when it was poking around in his past, and when he had to support it.

The song ended and he paused the music, listening to his own breathing and steady pulse. You’re okay. You’re done. You made it through. He didn’t feel okay.

“—proud of him,” someone was saying inside the studio. Remus. “It was a complicated and painful thing to work through, but he never wavered from what he wanted and what was best for him.”

Six of his other teammates would speak, supporting the charity with a quick mention of their own feelings in case any assholes on the internet got bright ideas about speaking for them and their feelings on Sirius’ disownment. It was insane what people thought they found by digging through interviews.

“Hey, baby.” Sirius opened his eyes; above him, Remus was leaning over the armrest of the couch with a tired smile. He kissed Sirius’ forehead, then his nose, then his lips. “Ready to go home?”

“Don’t we have to stay until the end?”

“Marlene said she had everything she needed from us.”

Sirius blew out a slow breath and stood, wrapping his arms around Remus on instinct. “This feels like it’s going to go badly.”

“I don’t think it will,” Remus said quietly, rubbing up and down his spine. “I think it’s going to help a lot of people, and I hope it means we stop getting nosy comments now that you’ve answered the big questions and made it clear that’s the end.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They walked to the car in relative silence, hand-in-hand; Remus took the keys without a word, and relief washed over Sirius in a cool breeze. He didn’t feel grounded enough to drive safely. At the moment, he wasn’t sure he ever would. The whole world was hazy outside the passenger window, blurring the city he loved so much into smudges of colors—Remus was a presence next to him, but what Sirius wanted more than anything was some hot chocolate and a long, long nap.

“I don’t feel good,” he said, hardly above a whisper.

Remus glanced at him out of the corner of his eye as he drove. “Do I need to pull over?”

“No, I just…” He sighed. “I thought I would feel better after getting this off my chest and helping people. I feel bad.”

“Can you eat?” He nodded. “I’ll make some soup when we get home if you want to lay down for a bit.”

Sirius’ eyes burned. “Sounds good.”

“Hey, baby, it’s okay,” Remus soothed, reaching one hand down to close around the one Sirius kept on his thigh as Sirius sniffled and shook with the effort of keeping in his tears. “It’s okay. You can call Marlene and ask her not to publish the video. That’s in your rights, you don’t have to—”

“No,” Sirius choked out, wiping his tears away with the back of his wrist. “It has to happen. People have to know that they can help. I—I just—I don’t know how to feel and so everything is happening at once.”

Nobody had taught Sirius how to handle Feelings-with-a-capital-f until Dumo; suddenly, he felt like all that hard work was being undone in one fell swoop. He kept ahold of Remus’ hand and let the tears slide down his cheeks as he breathed through it, keeping both feet firmly planted in some semblance of control. Remus parked the car and turned to him without unbuckling his seatbelt. “Do you want to go inside, or should we drive for a bit?”

“I really want to go to bed.”

“How can I help?” Remus laced their fingers together again and Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. “You really don’t seem alright, love.”

“I’m not, and I don’t know how to fix it.” The words were broken glass in his throat. “I was doing so good. I don’t know how to go back.”

“Oh, baby,” Remus murmured, taking his seatbelt off to kiss Sirius’ temple. “Let’s go inside, yeah? You’ll be more comfortable there.”

Sirius nodded mutely, still pressing his lips together to stifle any sounds that tried to come out. It always seemed like when he started to cry, he couldn’t stop—whether that was a function of never crying for the majority of his life, he didn’t know, but it always felt horrible. No mistakes, his mother had told him. The video felt like a mistake. Still, he knew he couldn’t ask them to take it down. There were people that needed help, and he couldn’t let his childhood hide in the shadows anymore.

Remus turned as if to hug him when the door closed behind them, but Sirius slipped past and headed straight for the stairs. Sweatpants, hoodie, soup, blanket, talk. Talk, talk, talk until you can’t stop. Then sleep. He heard Remus moving around in the kitchen as he stripped down and dug his softest sweatpants out of the drawer, followed by Remus’ most worn-down and oversized Wisconsin hoodie that he always wore when he didn’t feel well. Sirius buried his nose in the neckline and inhaled deeply; the familiar scent soothed the rush of blood in his ears.

He didn’t bother with socks and made a beeline for the couch, wrapping himself in the afghan blanket one of Hope’s friends had crocheted for their wedding. Hope had kept it in the Lupin house so she wouldn’t forget to bring it with her, and it smelled like them, too. It smelled like safety and a happy house and healthy childhoods.

Another tear slipped out when Remus set down some water and the soup—Campbell’s chicken noodle, can’t go wrong—and Sirius curled up against the armrest to make room. “I need to talk to you,” he said. “I need to talk to you.”

The cushions dipped as Remus sat next to him and crossed his legs. “About what?”

“Everything.” His voice broke. “The way I grew up, everything about it. I—Re, I never lied to you, I promise. I just didn’t talk about it because I didn’t want to scare you, but I have to be honest with you.”

“…alright.”

Sirius took a shaky breath; his mouth was dry, and salty at the edges. “My parents—my parents hit me when I wasn’t good enough, and nothing was ever good enough unless I could do it again, and again, and again—”

“Sirius—”

“—and I thought everyone on my team didn’t get dinner if they didn’t get a goal and—”

“Stop—”

“—and Regulus and I, it was like we couldn’t breathe in that house with them scripting every move—”

“Sirius.” Remus’ hand covered his mouth and Sirius closed his eyes as a sob ripped free, but didn’t fight it. “Sirius, stop, please.”

“I have to tell you,” he said hoarsely, trembling from head to toe. “I have to be honest with you.”

“I love you, and I’m glad you can talk to me, but I’m not the person you have to tell.” Remus’ voice was thick with tears. “Being honest with me doesn’t mean telling me every detail, please, please don’t do that.”

“I couldn’t make mistakes,” he blubbered, leaning into Remus. “What kind of fucking freak tells a child they can’t make mistakes?”

Remus shushed him softly, running a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck as he went boneless into Remus’ chest. He could feel the hitching breaths under his face and regret reared up, but he felt so empty. There was so much more he could tell Remus and nothing he could say. “I love you,” Remus began, sniffling slightly. “I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Because I love you, I’m going to tell you that I am not the person you need to tell all this to right now. You should talk to someone who knows how to help, like Heather.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered.

“No, I understand.” A kiss pressed against the top of his head. “And I’m not upset at you. Both our emotions are running really high. I just—this isn’t blaming you or to make you feel bad, but it hurts to hear all the horrible things that happened to you. I already wish I could have stopped it before it happened, but hearing you say it is a lot worse than thinking about it and I wasn’t ready to hear everything.”

“That’s not everything.”

“I know.” Remus’ voice cracked. “I know, and that’s the worst part. This video was a bad idea, I should call—”

“No, no, don’t do that.” Sirius caught his wrist as he reached for the phone. “The video isn’t the problem. It will help people. It’s just hard for me to talk about it without getting overwhelmed.”

Remus hesitated, but left the phone alone and hugged Sirius close again. “I’m here.”

“I know.”

“And I’m not gonna leave.” His chest rose and fell. “But—but if you need to tell me things, not just today, please give me fair warning first.”

“I will,” Sirius promised. They sat quietly for a moment before he sat up and pulled the soup bowl into his lap, letting the steam roll over his face. “Mon dieu, I was doing so good before this. It’s been the best two years and now…”

“Now it’s going to be better,” Remus filled in when he trailed off. A slender hand tucked his hair behind his ear. “It’s going to be better, Sirius. For you, and for lots of other people that you’re helping. But this is the hard part.”

“This is the really, really hard part,” he agreed, taking a sip of broth. It was the perfect temperature. “Thank you.”

“It’s just soup.”

“No, for everything. Everything you’ve done for me.” he rested his head on Remus’ shoulder, then left a lingering kiss on his cheek. “I love you more than I can say.”

A wry smile tilted the side of Remus’ mouth up. “In English or French?”

“Both,” Sirius half-laughed. “Both, I promise. I’m going to finish this, and then can we take a nap?”

“That sounds perfect. Make sure to drink your water, too.”

It would not be an easy evening, or an easy night, or an easy anything when the video came out. But he would work through it, and he would remember what he had learned from his family and his friends to move past the roadblocks his childhood always created. He would call Regulus, they would cry together, and they would be okay. He would be okay.

Hello!1st I wanted to say i love your blog its *chefs kiss*,and 2nd could I request (i dont know if this is in someway triggering or not so i apologize) a MC who doesnt believe the brothers can love them 'cause they despise themself and they are so set on (?) with that mindset that the brothers cant convince them otherwise,but MC themself wants to feel loved they...just cant...and they just breakdown saying they arent special and when the brothers meet other humans they will realise that MC is nothing,that they are a horrible being and they will leave them for somebody better,does that make sense I dont wanna go too deep into it(totaaaaally not self projecting)I am so sorry if this is a sensitive topic,feel free to ignore this ask,this has been eating me out for weeks so I just wanted to seek some comfort.Once again your blog is great and dont overwork yourself, take care! :D 🤍

I've definitely been there and even now, I still have these fears. Growing out of these Insecurities and feelings are hard even if you work hard to be as confident as you can. One day it'll happen but until then you just gotta keep reminding yourself that you're worth the world

Also tip, please don't rely on others for self worth - people can be cruel or simply just unpredictable. Not all but until you see every colour of a person you don't know. If you depend on someone else to give you worth and make you feel good then that'll start a very unhealthy cycle for yourself

I hate this phase "love yourself before you love others" because you don't need to, you can find healthy and happy relationships whilst insecure. But I think what it really means is; get self worth before you love another. Make sure you don't do yourself damage by giving you Someone who does the bare minimum or will sometimes make you feel good but is usually a dick.

You can find love but that love can be wrong if you don't pay attention to the red flags. Don't let your insecurities drag you into unhealthy relationships.

Because you are stunning, worth it and loveable. You're Someone people can look up to or admire even if it's for something simple like your humour.

Also thank you, I'll be sure to not overwork myself, make sure you don't pressure yourself too hard about work or your hobbies. Hobbies are all about fun!

Warning: self loathing, depressive themes, angst

You could stand it.

Your eyes traveled along the gifts and trinkets that were in your room. Each one gifted to you by a powerful demon; a demon you live with.

You couldn't stand it.

You could get it; why would someone like that every like you? You weren't special and yet Everyone insisted that you were. You're not the key. Not anything Diavolo wants or expects. Definitely not what the brothers want.

You had to scoff. The brothers only like you because of Lilith, if you were related then they'd never see you as anything but some human. Lilith dragged you here, she made sure you came here and for what? To be always told you're going to be some big thing; someone to destroy hatred and help bring together three realms.

Do they not realize how much pressure that is??!!!! And the how are you even going to do that?! You're magic is unpredictable and useless - it perfectly reflects you.

You whimpered at your own thoughts. The word useless stinging at your heart; it was almost if a knife lodged itself into your chest. Constantly stabbing the word useless into it.

You were useless. They need to find someone who can actually live up to their expectations. Just a good for nothing human....why do they even like you?

You looked back at the gifts, your watery stare turning into a hateful glare.

The question was burning inside your head. You couldn't understand; what did he see in you? You're not special! You're not anything anyone wants you to be and you're just being forced on a pedestal you didn't make!

Why did he always look at you the way he does? Like you actually mean something. Why does he smile so softly when you enter the room?

Why would he be like that when you KNOW that as soon as he meets another human, he'll be running after them without hesitation. Everyone was so much more attractive than you and better than you - you couldn't get why he loved you. Why- no how?! You weren't good enough for him!

No matter how many times he says I love you or compliments you it leaves such a bitter disgusting taste in your mouth. You're so horrible you can't even let people be nice to you - it's all a lie anyway. No one could love you. Never. No one!

You were useless! Disgusting! You weren't even attractive! You weren't loveable! You're a horrible person who looks just as horrible as they are. How can they look at you like that?! How can they stand you?! You're nothing!

You don't get it!

Why?! Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why-!

A scream ripped itself out of your throat. Tears streaming down your face as you clutched your head. Your body curled into itself, shaking and trembling as you choked on your sobs. You coughed through it as you tried to breath but the tears kept coming. Drowning you as you desperately tried to breath under their weight.

The pain was unbelievable. You felt like your head was on fire. You could barely even make out the figure standing at your door. Whoever they were, they scooped you up from the floor and rubbed circles into your arms. You clutched to them for dear life as you cried.

Somewhere in your brain you could tell who it was and it only made you cry harder. Shame filling your lungs as you tried to escape their caring embrace.

"No-! Stop it! I'm nothing! I'm useless-! Let me go-!! Why- why won't you leave me alone?! I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! LET ME DIE-!"

were you dying? You felt like it. The ache was painful; your chest growing tighter and tighter. You pounded on their chest, demanding they let you be the useless thing that you are alone.

Lucifer:

He forced back his tears

Just rubbing circles into your skin as he held you

To think you were this Insecure despite being the nicest person who knew

You were Better than him and don't let pride stop you - you were amazing

"not good enough for me? What made you believe that...? You're perfect for me, you complete me."

You denied his claims, sobbing as you listed your insecurities

"Your insecurities don't define you, you're so much more than that - I wouldn't of picked you to be my love if I didn't think you'd be adequate."

He wasn't sure if you were still listening but he pushed past his doubts

Adjusting you in his embrace

"I- I'm not sure if I'm comforting you....I'm not good at being the gentle hand, I want you to see how I see you - you're kind, charming and always keeping me in awe, you mean so much to me, I'll trade anything I could just to see you smile - I love you."

Mammon:

There can only be one self loathing idioit in this relationship

He refuses to let you feel like how he has

His forced confidence - you could easily see through it - anyone could

But you were the only one who then actually helped him feel better when you did see through it

He let a few tears stray, holding you close

"did someone say something to you? I don't forgive 'em for ever making ya this upset, I'm not letting you feel like this."

You shook your head, muttering that he should let you

"why should I? You're my favourite person and you've only made me happy - so let me make you happy! You're the only person who's ever treated me the way ya treat me and I won't let you hate yourself!"

He hugged you even tighter, squeezing you as he hid his face in your shoulder

"you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, okay? You always know how to make me feel better and it's my turn to make you feel better but you gotta listen to me! I lo-love you! The great Mammon loves you so badly that he just wants to kiss you every day! You're amazing and I won't forgive ya if you let yourself keep going on like this, let me support you.... please...I don't want you to go."

Levithan:

He couldn't get it

He's always been jealous of your personality and ability to make others feel good

His envy makes him despise himself - so seeing you be the same, he couldn't take it

He gave you one big squeeze

"d-don't be stupid! You're the best thing that's come into my life - even better than ruri-chan!"

You didn't believe him, he was obessed with that character

"but it's true-! If I could I'd get loads of merchandise of you too because you're my favourite person! You're just like the protagonists I read about."

His face was beat red but he was determined to make you feel better

"You're Henry, you are brave and kind, always trying your best even if that best isn't up to your own or others standards, you Inspire me! I've thought about of making a series about you...so others can feel just as happy as I do when I see you, you make me feel less insecure and like I actually mean something - why can I do to make you feel the same? You mean everything to me! I really like you....I like-like you-! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY! Let me make you feel how you make me feel because then you'll see just how amazing you are!"

Satan:

Did someone makes you feel like this or was it just your own thoughts?

If it isn't the latter he'll need to find out who's hurt you

But right now, he hugged you tighter and cradled your head

He couldn't stand to see and hear you so destressed

"did I do something to make you feel like this? I'm so sorry if I did, I don't always realize when I come off rude or hateful- I could never hate you."

You held him tight, telling him to stop

"but I need to fix it if I've hurt you and if it wasn't me then whoever did needs to keep quiet, you don't deserve these feelings."

You huffed, trying to not cry more

He gave your Shoulder a small squeeze

"you're more than enough for me, you're so good to me - sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough for you, you're always so patient with me and don't make me feel like I'm some unthinking beast, you don't think I'm lying when I be genuine and that makes me love you - I do love you - you make me feel good and I want to do the same for you, you're beyond good and I'll always be happy with the person you are and can become because I know you can do so much and always bring positivity even in the darkest times."

Asmodeus:

He's crying too

He hated of being seen as insecure

He only wanted confidence

Seeing you sob and beat on yourself like this only reminded him of his most private moments

He held you even closer, rocking you gently

"No, dear, I love you too much to let you feel like this, you're amazing to me and I think you're better than even myself, you're my number 1."

You shook your head, telling him he's lying

"I'm not, why would I lie? You're the sweetest person I know, you don't see me as some sex object - you make me feel real and happy - so so happy."

He kissed the top of your head, hiding his tear streaked face

"I want you to be happy....you deserve it, you've got only so long to live and I'm so scared that you're going to hate yourself even until you die, I don't want that! You're beautiful amazing and I could never ask for anyone better! Please- just let's work on our confidence together...okay? You're so wonderful, don't let yourself become so hateful."

Beezlebub:

He's absolutely broken

How didn't he realize you felt this bad about yourself??

He didn't even realize he was crying aswell, just holding you close as his mind screamed at him

"did something make you feel like this? It hurts to hear you say these things."

You shook your head before nodding, muttering you just won't talk anymore

"I didn't mean that, I always want you to be open with me and if not me, atleast one of my brother's."

He picked you up, placing you in a more comfortable position and held you close to his chest

"I love you, it took me awhile to realize that but I do, you make me feel full and happy - like I just ate a big buffet of warm cakes and dishes, I'm always warm when I'm with you, I don't believe you're not good enough - you're kind to me and never judge me for eating, you help me with working out but most importantly, you fixed my family and brought my twin back, I don't know how to make you see how much that means to me and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself when you're always the best person in the room - you're really great."

Belphegor:

"just let me die"

Those words hurt him so bad

He was like that, he demanded to be left to Rot with his own self loathing when Lilith died

He pulled you close to his chest as he grabbed your shoulder

"You're not allowed to feel like this, you've done nothing to feel this much hatred towards yourself."

You told him he was wrong, crying harder

"when am I wrong? I- okay, I can be wrong but I'm not wrong about you, you're my favourite person which means I love you and I don't let my favourite people sit and cry."

He cuddled you, nuzzling his cheek against yours

"You saved me and I will never able to make it up to you, I've hurt you and I hate it- I hate that I'm a reason you get scared, don't ever let yourself rot away, when my brother's just leave me to sleep I always feel so much dread - that I'm being left to die in my bed and will never get to see their faces again - I'll never be able to see your face again....I wouldn't be able to take it.....seeing you everyday makes me want to leave my bed and always make sure you smile, let me make you smile again."

Imagine leaving the fire nation with Zuko when he was banished and helping comfort him when he’s having his breakdown.

Your years of banishment had been pretty uneventful at first, just travelling the seas and every corner of the earth looking for the avatar who didn’t exist. Then he suddenly did and your life was turned into an endless chase. You honestly didn’t care that the avatar was the biggest threat to the fire nation but as it was Zuko’s mission to capture him you helped. Then after Zuko’s many failed attempts Ozai sent Azula and you went from being the hunters to the hunted. You, Iroh and Zuko all had to go into hiding and Zuko took it the hardest. He’d been in an awful mood for days but when Iroh offered to teach him lightning bending he perked up and put all his effort into learning the skill.

You however, were more than happy to stand and watch from a distance. You had always been scared of lightning and although you’d done a good job hiding it in the palace (if you showed it you knew Azula would constantly do it so you managed to stifle your flinches) you still didn’t want to get too close. So you stayed by camp preparing food for later when suddenly you heard yelling. You stood up and frowned to see Iroh and Zuko arguing. Zuko was clearly angry at Iroh and pushed past him storming away. You ran over to Iroh and watched as Zuko stalked away from your camp. “What happened, what’s wrong with him?”. Iroh sighed “he wanted me to fire lightning at him but I refused and now he’s heading out into the middle of a storm”. You frowned looking up at the sky, it was drizzling but it didn’t seem like storm weather. "I’ll go after him, see if I can get him to calm down" you suggested and Iroh nodded “thank you y/n”.

As you rushed after Zuko you were hit with the irony that this was what you always seemed to be doing. Following Zuko around, trying to calm him down, but that’s was friends did. When Zuko was banished you weren’t sure if it was the thought of being truly alone in the fire nation or just all the pain and sadness you knew he must be feeling but for some reason you demanded to go with him. The whole point of a banishment was to make people leave not stay and so you managed to talk your way into accompanying Zuko easily. You helped Iroh nurse Zuko back to health from his injury and it was really hard at first. When his burn was fresh it was so angry and painful but Ozai didn’t let you have the royal physician work on him. It was mainly up to you and Iroh and you did everything you could. At first the main worry was if Zuko would lose his eyesight or even his eye but Iroh managed to save both. When Zuko did wake up he was in excruciating pain constantly and it killed you to see him lie so clearly wreathing in pain but refusing to show it. He thought he deserved it and that killed you further. You wanted to shake him and yell that it wasn’t his fault, that it was Ozai’s but Zuko had a problem seeing who his father was. You’d given up trying to tell him and for the sake of your friendship decided to just support him, Iroh assured you Zuko would eventually realise the truth of everything and you prayed he was right.

You continued following Zuko but through the countryside but he was moving very quickly and you struggled to gain any ground on him. Soon Zuko disappeared from your view altogether and you just carried on hoping you’d find him. Iroh was right and soon the light rain turned into a downpour. Then the lightning started and you jumped every time a bolt boomed across the valley. If it was anyone else the lightning would’ve scared you off but Zuko was your closest friend, you had to find him. Your foot slipped as another lightning bolt lit up the sky and you sighed but continued to follow the direction Zuko had gone in. You were beginning to give up finding him when you came to the top of the hill and saw him stood on a cliff edge. You paused taken back at the sight and then you realised what he was yelling. He was  screaming for lightning to hit him, sobbing and yelling at the storm to strike him. He looked the most broken you’d ever seen him. Even worse than when he was first banished, at least then he’d had a mission he pretended was reasonable, now as a fugitive hiding from Azula as well as the earth kingdom he didn’t have that. He didn’t have any hope. Zuko was broken and Ozai had done this to him. The thought alone brought tears to your eyes and reaffirmed the fierce protectiveness you felt for him. "Zuko!" you yelled through the storm and somehow he heard you. He turned around shocked before returning his gaze to the lightning "what are you doing here y/n?". "I’m making sure you’re not doing anything stupid like trying to get hit by lightning". Zuko didn’t respond to your joke "go back y/n" he said simply and you paused. "No i...Zuko this is dangerous the storm is really close". "So go" Zuko said yelling at you now. He was angry at the world and you were the nearest thing for him to vent it through.  "I don’t want you here i didn’t ask you to come with me! If it’s so dangerous then go! You never should've come here with me anyway, you should be back in the fire nation not here with me". "Wait why is this about me leaving the fire nation with you?" you asked and Zuko glared. "Because you and my uncle are always so selfless, it makes me sick! You changed your whole lives for me, you helped me recover from my burn you both try and appease me but it’s useless! I will never accomplish my mission, i will never be able to take us back home! I’ve ruined both of your lives and seeing you trying to help me makes me sick with anger. I can’t fix it y/n, i can't repair the damage, i can’t get my honour back, I can’t" he yelled and collapsed on his knees shaking with tears. You wrapped your arms around him and held him as he carried on sobbing. "No wonder father prefers Azula i’m useless! Useless, useless" he carried on hitting the ground with his fists until you grabbed them so he couldn’t. Zuko kept repeating the world useless however and so you just held onto him tightly as he cried. Eventually he stopped talking and just sobbed into your neck. You were crying too seeing him so defeated and just held onto him tightly. The rain was mercilessly pelting you both but you didn’t even register it, you were too focused on what was happening to your best friend. "You’re not alone and you’re not useless" you told him "we don’t care for you because we think you’ll save us but because we love you, you are worth it Zuko" you told him raising his face to yours "you are worthy". Zuko just stared so you hugged him again and Zuko clutched you tightly. The rain showed no signs of stopping and after a close lightning bolt you managed to get Zuko to stand and come with you. You found shelter in a small cave and led him inside. Zuko collapsed on the floor as soon as he was inside and you helped him lean against the side of the cave. He was shaking and still crying so you wrapped your arms around him again. Zuko leant into you and you patted his back trying to soothe him. Finally Zuko stopped crying but he didn’t move away from you. You supposed he needed the comfort and had no intention of denying him that...but you were still so close to all the rain and cold. Your feet and hands were freezing and you were itching to make a fire and move further into the cave. After waiting as long as you could you spoke softly "Zuko we should make a fire....you’re freezing". Zuko got off you without a word and followed you as you walked further into the cave. You found the makings of an old campfire and the wood lit instantly. Zuko moved closer to the fire and sat hunched over his knees. You came to sit beside him and silence settled. You were sure he must be hungry and searched through your bag for some food. It was soaked but you managed to find an only slightly damp packet of fire flakes at the bottom. You opened it and held it out to Zuko. He glanced at you over his shoulder and you shook it "we won’t be able to travel in this weather so we'll be stuck here for the night, i’m sorry but this is the only food i have". Zuko sniffed "it’s okay" and took a handful. You both sat munching on the food quietly until it was all gone. You added the packet to the flame and tried warming your hands on the fire. "You’re shivering" Zuko noticed and you shrugged "it’s okay". "No it’s not, you’re soaking wet and trapped in this cave all because of me". You shook your head "not because of you, yes i choose to follow you but not because I had to. I did it because i wanted to, i’m not your responsibility". Zuko shrugged "i guess but you wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for me". You knew he actually meant this whole situation not just the cave and sighed worried he still blamed himself. "Maybe but we are here so the only thing to do is to make the best of it, how about we try to sleep? Things will look better in the morning". Zuko didn’t reply but you laid down close to the fire and hoped he’d copy you. "Make the best of it" you heard Zuko mutter "okay". Zuko suddenly grabbed your shoulders and began dragging you to the side of the fire nearest the cave opening. "What are you doing?" you asked laughing and Zuko smiled "making the best of it, if we have to sleep here then you should be near the fire but we also need to make sure it doesn’t go out so we’ll block the wind with our bodies and still get the benefit of the fire”. The wind blew angrily against your back and you frowned before Zuko sat down putting himself between it and you. He blocked the cold and the fire’s warmth was more noticeable. "Better?" he asked and you nodded "thanks". A massive lightning bolt struck right outside the cave and your whole body jumped. Zuko laughed “what was that?”. “I...I hate lightning”. “What since when?” Zuko asked and you shrugged “since forever, i can usually hide it when i’m safe inside but when I’m in the middle of a storm....” you trailed off when another bolt struck and you flinched again. They seemed to be getting closer. Zuko smirked “it’s okay it can’t get us in here”. You nodded “i know that but...”. Zuko paused and cautiously put an arm around you “does this help?”. You managed not to blush but you couldn’t look at his face. “I...yes”. Zuko nodded and he smiled slightly before pausing. "Y/n about today....". "It’s okay" you said immediately but Zuko shook his head. "No it’s not, i didn’t mean to yell at you but i did and that was wrong. I’m so sorry". "You were just upset" you shrugged and Zuko nodded "i was but you are not the person to direct that at, all you and my uncle have ever done is be there for me, even changing your whole lives for me and i guess i feel guilty about that, like i’ve dragged you down with me". "You didn’t drag me anywhere i came willingly and so did your uncle because we care about you, you don’t have to be held responsible for that, we don’t hold you to that and so you shouldn’t. We made our decision and neither of us would change it". "Really you’d still decide to follow me out here in the storm?" Zuko asked with a smirk. "I’d like to say yes but i can’t feel my toes". Zuko laughed but noticed you were indeed still shivering. Zuko moved closer to you again and tightened his grip on you. You didn’t manage to hide your blush this time but luckily Zuko was looking away to also hide his own blush so he didn’t notice. "Thank you" Zuko said suddenly "that’s what i’m trying to say....i don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you in my life but somehow you’re here and i want to thank you, i don’t do it enough but thank you for being with me, for not giving up on me, it means a lot". "I’ll always be here for you" you smiled. "Really?" Zuko asked smiling, you knew he was joking but could also hear the sharp undertone of his voice, that part that was seriously asking, scared you didn’t mean it. "Always" you nodded and laid a hand on his cheek. Zuko’s blush deepened and you pretended not to notice. "We should go to sleep” you smiled and Zuko nodded still pink "erm good idea". You lowered your head against his chest to hide your smirk at Zuko’s awkwardness and folded into his side. With the rain pouring outside and the warm fire you were actually very comfortable. Zuko seemed to be too and you smiled as he stroked your arm absentmindedly "goodnight y/n" he said softly and you smiled "goodnight Zuko".

We were 18. - Jotaro Kujo.

Me?? Posting something about Jotaro?? How strange. This piece of work is also dedicated to two of my comfort characters, Kakyoin and Joseph. This artwork is really important to me, it really holds a special place in my heart so.. enjoy! 

Neutral reader x Jotaro Kujo

Jojo’s bizzare adventures: Stardust Crusaders (spoilers)

AU

SFW | fluff 

Trigger warning: usual jojo violence, reference to grief, insomnia.

Word count: 1760.

The ‘continue reading’ button is there for space purposes, to make the reader avoid any possible spoiler and/or sensible topics.

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Please feel free to reblog or leave a comment :) help me support my art (it’s free!),

© bearing in mind everything I post/write is my intellectual property so please don’t steal/copy and paste and post it as yours.

Since you returned from your tumultuous trip in Egypt, your life has never been the same. Once you came back to your hometown, not a moment passed by when you didn’t remember the terrible scenes you’ve witnessed during the fight with Dio. The memory of Kakyoin’s death was still so vivid in your mind and the more you tried to shake that thought out of your head, the more you kept reliving it – over and over again.

There were times when you swore you saw Kakyoin among a crowd of people; times when you could just hear his voice calling your name. Every time you closed your eyes Avdol, Kakyoin and Iggy were there. You barely slept anymore – most of the times you did so, you had nightmares about what happened in El Cairo. You lost count of how many nights you have spent crying in your bed, curled up in between your sheets in the silence of your lonely house. Living alone didn’t help; you were used to sneak into one of the crusaders’ room whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on or, simply, a place where you could feel safe. It wasn’t unusual for you to wake up squished between Kakyoin and Jotaro or trapped in one of Joseph bear-hugs. But now, you were thousands of kilometres away from the rest of the group, alone in your cold bedroom. There was no one to go to, and no one you could talk about how you felt. It was just you and your painful memories. No one would understand what you’ve been through – how could they? How could you ever explain how intense the 50 days you spent with the crusaders had been?

Another nightmare woke you up, as per usual. You gasped loudly as if you just started to breathe again after a long apnea and quickly sat down in the middle of your bed, holding onto your sheet. You started shaking as your chest moved up and down with rapid movements trying to catch your breath, tears streaming down your face. You were staring at the void in your pitch-dark room, trying to control your sobs and make yourself realise that you were back to reality. You stretched one of your arms to reach the lamp on your bedside table, curling yourself up while you slowly started to calm down. Wiping out the tears from your cheeks with your jumper’s sleeve, you finally dragged yourself out of bed and slowly went to the kitchen, making yourself some tea.

As you sat down to drink your hot beverage hoping it would bring you some comfort, you started to rehearse your dream - as if you could just replay it in your head as one would normally do with songs or movies. It wasn’t very different from any other dreams you had.

Kakyoin’s body was lying lifeless against the roof Dio had thrown him onto, his expression crippled by the excruciating pain he must have felt. An enormous wound had completely swept away part of his body, leaving a big opening in the middle of it. You were screaming at him at the top of your lungs, begging him to spare the last bit of energy he had left in his body. But the ending was the same every damn time; he would use his last breath to reveal to Joseph the secret of The world, Dio’s Stand, and launch his last attack with Emerald Splash. You woke up every time you tried to reach Kakyoin’s body. You were never able to say goodbye to him -  not even in your dreams. The same thing happened with Avdol and Iggy too. You never got the chance to see them one last time, because you were busy fighting elsewhere.

You sighed loudly, stopping yourself from having another breakdown and sipping some tea from your cup. It was in that exact moment, that the phone rang. It was 3:00 AM where you lived, so you expected one of the boys to be on the other end of the telephone. You and the rest of the crusaders exchanged your numbers the last time you saw each other at the airport and had kept in contact ever since. To your surprise, the person you talked the most was Jotaro. You were about the same age and had created a strong bond during your trip, even if you would have never bet on it. Kakyoin used to always joke about your crush on Jotaro, always encouraging you to give it a shot. But things turned out to be too frenetic and dangerous to engage any sort of romantic relationship. Despite that, you would never miss a chance to sit next to each other or just spend most of the time together. The two of you even kissed at one point, but never talked about it again – not even during your strangely long phone calls.

Crawling your feet on the floor of your kitchen, you got up and finally answered the phone: “Hello?”

“Hey.” Jotaro’s deep voice replied. “How come you’re awake? It’s late where you are.” he added.

“You called. Is this a good excuse?” you said lightly laughing, trying to hide the sadness in your voice.

When the sun rose, you were still talking to Jotaro. He asked you about your dream – he knew about your insomnia and your recurring nightmares and just wanted to be there for you. He wasn’t the best at comforting, and most of the time he never dared to say a word; but you knew it was a sensible topic for him too, and the fact that he would let you confide in him was more than enough.

“It’s a big deal for me too.” he said. You just hummed, allowing him to talk freely about what was going on inside his head – and heart. “Sometimes I can barely breathe. I just wish everything was over.” he cut short, clearing his throat immediately after finishing his sentence. Hearing those words from him just broke your heart; he always showed himself as a cold, calm and collected person and never allowed his emotions to have the best of him. He could often come off as an emotionless brute, but you knew it was all a façade that hid a more sensible and soft side of him. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, only broken by the sound of your breaths. “Don’t hang up.” you said ultimately, letting out a big sigh.

“I won’t. I’m here.” His voice replied, sounding velvet through the telephone.

--

The plane landed after what felt like an eternity, the flight from your country took countless hours to arrive in Japan. At the airport, a member of the Speedwagon foundation was waiting for you, Holly standing next to him. As soon as you got closer to them, Holly quickly fell into your arms, hugging you tightly. ‘I’m so glad you’re here!’ she squeaked, while cupping your cheeks in her hands and showering you with affection. You let out an embarrassed laugh, and after that warm welcome you finally reached the car. You seated in the backseat, tiredly resting your head against the window of your car’s door. You took a quick look at the clock and closed your eyes, trying to get some rest.

When you arrived, Holly gently woke you up. The car was parked in front of the Kujo’s residence, the place where it all started. A fast sequence of memories flashed in front of your eyes as you meticulously watched the house in front of you, remembering exactly how you felt when you arrived the first time, and how you felt when you left. Holly placed and hand on your shoulder and nodded, indicating to you Jotaro’s room. “He wasn’t in a great mood today, he hasn’t been in a while” she said hopelessly. “Just excuse him if he speaks to you rudely.” she added, feeling sorry for the harsh manners her son always displayed. You reassured her smiling, before walking to his room.

Once you stood in front of his door, your heart started beating so loud. A part of you was dying to see the boy you heart belonged to, the other was afraid to see him broken into pieces. But that was the reason why you went there in the first place. You didn’t want to leave him alone anymore. He needed a shoulder to cry on as much as you did – maybe more, if it was possible. You had to be there.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door. Heavy footsteps came your way before the door opened, revealing Jotaro’s figure towering over you.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing he-“ he tried to ask, before getting interrupted by your hug; you almost pushed yourself against his body, making him take a step back to not lose balance. You wrapped your arms around his strong torso, breathing in his perfume and holding him as close as humanly possible to you. Being in his arms felt like being at home – a feeling you hadn’t experienced in a while. It wasn’t long before Jotaro reciprocated your hug, hiding his face into your hair and leaving a soft kiss on your head. He closed the door behind you and just held you in his embrace, enjoying the wonderful feeling of being reunited with you. “You don’t know how much I missed you.” he said, not even trying to let you go. You hinted a small laugh, rubbing his muscled back with your right hand. “I can imagine.”, you replied. He slowly distanced himself from you, placing his hands over your cheeks, staring at you with his eyes full of tears. He was scanning every inch of your face and figure, almost as if he wanted to convince himself that you were real, that you were there. He rested his forehead on yours, locking his gaze on yours, making it impossible to break eye contact. “I don’t want to lose you anymore” you whispered. “You saved my life so many times, in so many ways. I always thought it was the wrong time, I always ran away from my feelings but..” you continued, but before you could finish your sentence, he quickly put his lips on yours – shutting you up with a kiss. You could feel tears running on his face. You grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer to you, reciprocating the kiss.

“I have loved you since we were 18.” he whispered.

Fragments (Shigaraki x Reader)

shigaraki x f!reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol, blood, gore, anxiety, death, trauma, OOC shigaraki

genre: angst

word count: 1.2k

song choice: ventus’ theme - lizz robinette

a/n: hello i am jeehye! i hope you enjoy ;w; please read the song quotes as like quotes / “fragments” from y/n ( you of course :3c)! this goes into intervals of flashbacks, so I hope it isn’t too confusing! i tried my best to separate everything.

-

“Don’t be afraid, I won’t let shadows touch your dreams”

What was this nightmare his mind trapped himself in?

Heavy downpours of rain came crashing down against the three panel, cracked window, some of the raindrops getting through the fractures and causing water damage. Thunder followed suit, roaring through the sky, and shaking the beaten down building.

The weather was almost befitting of how he felt inside after she left him.

No.

After she abandoned him.

And even though she was gone now, he was still haunted by her.

“When you awaken I will be by your side”

He could hear fragments of her voice serenade his subconscious mind. Occasionally, these fragments seemed so real that he thought he heard her in the room with him. Sometimes he even swore he felt the ghost of her hand brushing the hair away from his eye, causing him to scratch at his neck raw in a fit of anxiety.

Her very existence, or what was the remainders of her existence, plagued him every day.

He tried drinking to get these fragments out of his mind, but when he became subdued by the alcohol it just made these feelings, these memories, more intense—more unbearable.

And he hated it, he loathed how much of an affect a person had on him. It made him want to decay his mind—anything to get her out of his head.

Memories of her always got carried a long with a soft breeze, the scent of her followed with it.

-

“we’ll look up skyward and the stars, they will shine in your eyes”

The couple sat a foot apart from each other, both staring off into the cosmos above them. There was a slight breeze that carried her sickly-sweet scent and all he wanted to do was envelope himself in it.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before she broke it.

“I wish we could leave this all behind one day,” she said, hugging her legs tightly as her head rested on top of her knees.

He turned his gaze towards at her, the sight of her nearly taking the breath out of his lungs. She looked like an ethereal goddess—her silky, h/c hair falling perfectly around her face and the moonlight shining in her gorgeous e/c eyes.

The white-haired man hummed in response, too captivated by her beauty to give an actual verbal answer.

“You know…I am not afraid of dying”, She smiled sadly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, “Sometimes I feel like this is the destined, sick fate we villains have”.

The glimmer of silver caught his eye, and he moved his attention to the thin band that adorned her dainty ring finger, which symbolized the promise they had made together.

“Do not talk about stupid things,” he frowned, not fond of this conversation they were having. “You made a promise you were not going to leave me”.

He started feeling the sensation of something crawling on his skin, and as he lifted a hand to scratch the itch away, she slinked her arms around him.

“I will never leave you Tomu”, he could feel her soft lips being pressed on the back of his head and part into a smile, “I will always be here, even if I become a fragment of your memory”.

‘Never’, he thought to himself.

-

His hands balled into a fist, his knuckles turning ivory from the grip he held them in. He should have never believed her empty promises and kind smile. He was a fool for ever believing a word that graced her lips.

“You no longer have to face the evil in the dark”

Shigaraki let out a blood-curdling scream and punched the mirror in her—his room just to feel something other than the pain from his heart.

He could feel the blood dripping from his hand, but other than that it felt numb.

He slumped to the ground, his bloodied hand scratching ferociously at his neck, smearing the red ichor around.

“You fought so bravely, my dear”

-

“Boss! Y/N…she isn’t going to make it!”, the raven-haired fire-wielder shouted, holding her near lifeless corpse in his arms as he rushed towards Shigaraki.

The moment he took one look at her he could feel his whole world shatter and break a part right in that instance. He took her from Dabi’s arms, carefully making sure he left a finger from each hand off her.

Shigaraki slunk to the ground, coddling her.

She was so pale, as if all the color was flushed out of her.

“I told you to stay out of this fight”, He cried, applying pressure on her stomach wound with eight of his fingers. He could hear his heart booming from his chest, he knew she was not going to make it.

She looked up at him hovering over her, blood pooling in her mouth and dribbling down her chin. “If I didn’t do anything it would have been you instead”, she grasped his cheek and rubbed her thumb against his tear-stained face.

He left out an exasperated cry and started hyperventilating, his shoulders convulsing from his breakdown, as he continued to apply pressure onto her wounds. “You can’t leave me Y/N, you promised!” He screamed out.

Y/N gave him a sad smile, “Protecting you Tomu is more important, and I promised I would protect you no matter the fate I may face”. She pushed his hands away from her stomach, “You have to go, the heroes will catch up to you if you do not leave now, Dabi please…”, she motioned Dabi to get Shigaraki off her.

Dabi reluctantly grabbed Shigaraki’s shoulder, which he aggressively shrugged off. “I can’t leave you like this; we need to get you patched up; you need the doctor!” He sobbed, trying to lift her body but fumbling from the shock and exhaustion his body was going through.

She looked at him, her eyelids getting heavier every second she was awake, “Go”, she pushed his shoulder to encourage him to leave, using the last of her strength, and breathed out her last words.

“I love you Tomu”.

-

Shigaraki looked at his hands, pieces of the mirror sticking out from his knuckles. His hands were almost as bloodied as they were when he held her for the last time.

He bit his lower lip to fight back the tears, he could feel himself calming down from his outburst, and the anger was now replaced with shame.

Shame that he wasn’t there to save her.

Shame that he blamed her for leaving him.

He felt the band around his neck burn against his bare chest. He grabbed what was attached to the necklace with four of his fingers and stared at it.

It was the ring that once graced her finger. The ring they made a promise with.

Shigaraki looked at it pitifully, tears flooding down his face. He missed her. He missed everything about her, and all he had left were the memories and this ring.

He laid on the cold, damp floor and cried. However, just as he did so, he felt a hand rub his back and a cool chill surround the room along with her scent. Normally he would have grimaced at the fragment of her, however in his current state it was so comforting that it lulled him to sleep.

“Just rest your mind and leave your pain behind”

How could you do this babe?

In Breakable Heaven chapter one! Here we go!

Summary: Reader’s ready to celebrate her anniversary with her boyfriend, but things don’t go as planned. 

Warnings: Cheating, swearing, drunk people

Word Count: ~2100

“…leave a message at the beep.”

You couldn’t help but be disappointed that he didn’t answer, but didn’t mind leaving a message. “Hey babe, I was able to close the bookstore early! I should be to yours in the next few minutes if you want to celebrate early. I know you like to have ample time to get ready, so I guess I just wanted to warn you. Anyway, I love you. See you soon.” You left the voicemail as you walked to your car. Tonight you are celebrating your three-year anniversary. You even changed into your brand new lingerie to surprise him, wearing a long coat to hide it in public. It felt a little bit wrong not wearing real clothes, but you were determined to make this the best anniversary celebration yet.

 The drive to his apartment was relatively uneventful. A light rain started about halfway through the five-minute drive. As you pull up to his apartment building, you notice the lights on in his room. “Good, he’s home” you think to yourself as you open the door, shuffling inside from the muggy DC weather. As you approach the apartment door, you can hear the soft music of the playlist you made last month featuring all of Taylor Swifts most romantic love songs. Your heart flutters as you think of the kind gesture. Of course, he would be thoughtful enough to put on music as you arrived at his apartment. Unlocking the door and untying your coat at the same time proved to more difficult than anticipated, but you managed to nudge the door open whispering “happy anniversary baby” in the sultriest tone you could.

 As you took in the rest of the apartment, your heart burst. There were roses everywhere. Candles lit a path to the bedroom. Maybe he did know how to be a romantic. Dropping your things on the counter and sliding your coat off the rest of the way, you tip toed into the bedroom to surprise him since he clearly did not get your message. The next sixty seconds felt as though time stopped. Or, more accurately, you froze and everything else in the world took on an impossible speed.

As you pushed open the bedroom door, three things caught your attention. First, you felt a surprising amount of resistant as you pushed the door over a bundle of clothes you didn’t recognize. Second, you heard the bed bouncing against the wall. Third, you saw streaks of auburn hair running through you’re boyfriend’s hands as he mercilessly pounded into a woman you didn’t recognize.

 Apparently, your entrance was too quiet for either of them to be interrupted. All you could manage was to slowly retreat into the living room, closing the door, but knocking into a side table.  You could hear them as they stopped moving, running to the door to investigate the noise. All you wanted was to get out of there though. Throwing your coat back over your lingerie, you grabbed your purse and keys, slamming the door shut. You didn’t even turn around when you heard him opening the door and calling your name. Whatever he had to say was not worth your time anymore.

 You couldn’t get the image of the two of them in bed together out of your head. You were feeling absolutely everything at once. You felt betrayed. You felt sad. A small part of you was actually glad you had a reason to end it. It had never felt like the kind of relationship that would move on. But still, you thought you were happy with him.

 But mostly, you were pissed. Rightfully so, but you had no idea where to go or what to do. Your blind adrenaline carried you to the car, and you wound up at a bar. You don’t even remember starting the car, much less driving, but you knew you needed something to drink. You ran inside, ordering tequila shots to drown the sadness, and sat at the bar. As you sat at the bar, contemplating your existence, a man walked up to sit next to you. You had your fair share of practice with this scenario. You had mastered the right mix “fuck off” and “sorry, I’m taken” to get men like this guy to back off with just a single look. But right now, all you could manage was a halfhearted grin that very clearly said “you do not want to deal with my emotional baggage right now.” It was all in the crazed look in your eyes, you were sure of it.

 Nobody else came up to you while you were there. You couldn’t help but think over the past three years with him for signs that he was unfaithful. You couldn’t come up with any, the cheating bastard. He must have been pretty good at hiding the secret phone calls and date nights. But then again, you had your own secrets. Not that they would have made him feel like you do right now.

 After sitting long enough to consume four shots of tequila, two vodka sodas, and one dark and stormy, reality set in. All you wanted was to curl up in a ball and scream. Or cry. You were obviously not returning to his apartment, but you couldn’t go back to your own either. There was too much there that reminded you of him. The idea of walking in there to see his sweatshirt on your couch made you feel sick. You were teetering on the edge of a full breakdown when the idea struck you. Penelope.

 Penelope Garcia is your best friend. You met her at a Doctor Who convention the same day you met he who must not be named. She was there with Kevin, but they broke up a while ago. The realization that you could go to Penny’s couldn’t have come at a better time. Ha. Penny. You only call her that when you’re drunk. She’ll know what to do. You opened your phone, barely able to call up the Lyft to take you to her apartment. It’s honestly shocking you didn’t fall asleep on the seven minute drive there. Whatever, all you needed now was to get inside and forget about him.

 After entering the building, you tried the elevator. Of course it was broken. It took you about thirty six minutes to hobble your way up two flights of stairs to Penny’s floor. With each step, you considered texting her to come get you, but you knew the second you saw her you would break down. You absolutely did not want to start sobbing on these stairs. Too many people could see you. Finally arriving to her door, you were exhausted. Mentally and physically drained. Knock knock knock “Penny?” Knock knock knock “Penny?” Knock knock knock “Penny?” you imitated the Big Bang Theory, knowing the small joke would make you smile, even if just for a second. When the door finally opened, you vaulted in for a hug, not even opening your eyes.

 As you squeezed Penny, you finally broke out into a fit of sobs. Whisper yelling, you told her as much of the story as you could remember. “Penny, thank god. I left wo-ork early to surprise Dr-Dr-Drew for our anniversary – hiccup – but he was having s-s-se-sex with someone else…” you let out a strangled sob, not noticing how stiff Penny felt in your embrace. You buried your head into her as you continued “So I got very drunk and came here. Was he cheating on me this whole time?” You asked as your tears turned back to rage. “I even went out and bought this stupid, uncomfortable underwear to surprise him” you shout as your coat had begun to fall open again. After what felt like an hour of crying, but in reality amounted to no more than 60 seconds, you finally noticed something was odd. Two things lead you to a simple conclusion that was somehow difficult to comprehend in your drunk state.

 First, Penny felt taller. Second, she was wearing converse. Upon noticing these two facts, your hands traveled up the body you were hugging until you found shoulders. Turning your head up, your eyes followed the path your hands had just taken. This series of events lead to the obvious fact that whomever you were hugging was absolutely not Penelope Garcia. Penelope was in fact not even in the foyer, but rather a very attractive, tall man with slightly curly brown hair and eyes like honey was staring back at you. And you couldn’t take your eyes off him.

 --

Reid’s POV

 Spencer hadn’t actually had anything to drink since arriving at Garcia’s. No, he just drank prior to that point. Normally, he didn’t drink at all when his team got together, but this was just worth celebrating. Another serial killer was behind bars for life because of the work the team did today. Hell, even Hotch and Rossi stayed for a few hours before they left. As part of the “young crowd” on the team, he had stayed at the bar longer than the two older men before the group of you retreated to Garcia’s. Hers was the closest apartment, and everyone else wanted to keep the party going. Spencer couldn’t help but join them, not wanting to return to his empty apartment after the long day they all spent testifying.

 Finishing his second glass of water, he began to get up to get more and maybe some for the group when everyone heard the knocking. The group laughed as three consecutive “Penny’s” came from the door. “Reid, can you get that since you’re already up?” Garcia asked, motioning toward the door. “It must be Y/N. She always calls me Penny when she’s drunk.” He obliged. He obviously remembered Garcia mentioning Y/N before, but he had never met her. He swung the door open, expecting a drunk friend of Garcia’s. He was not prepared, however, for said drunk friend to throw herself at him, grasp him in an alarmingly tight hug, and start sobbing. He could barely make out what you were saying through the sobs hearing “surprise Drew”, “anniversary”, “sex”, and “drunk” before you practically screamed “I even went out and bought this stupid, uncomfortable underwear to surprise him.”

 It was clear you meant to be pouring her heart out to Garcia, but you hadn’t yet realized who answered the door. For the first time in his life, Dr. Spencer Reid couldn’t think of words to say as you ran your hands up his body to his shoulders. You were clearly taking in the information required to come to the conclusion that he is not in fact Penelope Garcia. As your eyes met his, all he could do was stare. He made every effort to keep his eyes level with yours, but one glace was all it took to be ingrained in his memory forever. He wouldn’t have looked, but the movement of your coat caught his eye as it revealed the exact type of surprise you had planned for whoever Drew was.

 The two of you were frozen, unsure of how to proceed. You looked just like he did- a deer in the headlights. Neither of you could move. Neither of you could speak. You could both hear Garcia’s voice as she stumbled down the hallway, but it sounded distant. It wasn’t until the mystery woman broke eye contact that he backed away. Trying desperately to control the blush he were sure had made its way to his cheeks.

 --

 Y/N’s POV

 The moment was broken as you felt Penny turn you towards her. The flush on your cheeks only grew as you kept your eyes on the tall man as he retreated into the living room, not having said a word. “Y/N… Y/N? Y/N!” Penny had to yell slightly to get your attention. “What happened? What are you doing here? I thought you were celebrating tonight?” She asked rapid fire. You could tell she was also a little bit drunk.

 You told her everything. The words practically falling out of you as you started crying again. “Oh babe, I’m so sorry. Here, let’s get you inside.” Penny started to guide you into the living room, but you froze “Wait! Can I borrow some clothes before I go in there? I don’t need to flash anyone else right now.” You whispered. Penny laughed, “Of course! Who did you fla- ohhh. Reid.” She said, trying to hold back the giggles.

 “Yes. If that is the very tall man with the perfect eyes and the completely tuggable hair.” You responded, not quite filtering your thoughts, as you were still very drunk.

 “I’ll be back in a jiffy!” Penny replied, not knowing how else to respond to the fact that you are very clearly attracted to the young doctor, but also going through shit right now. She would just file away this information for later.

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