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torukmaktoskxawng · 2 months

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tsamsiyu ta'em - three stars in orion's belt

Masterlist - part sixteen

Summary: Kayla and Spider return to Awa'atlu, and some things shift into place, right where they need to be.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 15k+

Overall warnings: implied sexual themes, trauma/ptsd, canon-compliant, mature language, slow burn, polyamory, found family, cool aunt agenda, rushed, time skips, fluff, angst, mentioned mcd, child endangerment, proofread by me, etc.

Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings @tojisleftarm @andyfromku @ivysully @lightandshadow31 @jamie-poopoo @brittney69 @avatar-lover

A/N: Please ignore all the time skips 🙏 I didn't want to write another 20k+ chapter

A beautiful, quiet afternoon in Awa'atlu is evident all around Jake as he finds himself alone in the marui while the rest of his family is out enjoying the warm, sunny day on the reef. He was crouched and trying to remake his tomahawk that he had lost during the battle, but it was proven difficult since he didn't have the proper materials here on the island as he did back in the forest.

His time alone is interrupted by the sound of his youngest child calling out to him from outside, "Dad! Dad!"

"Tuk?" Jake's ears perked up, immediately alarmed as he got to his feet and stepped out of the pod, "Are you alright? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

His little girl was waving him down the pathway, barely stopping to wait for him as she was eager to run away, a bright, wide smile on her face as she pointed up at the sky, "Auntie's back! Look! Auntie and Spider are back!"

With that, she races off toward the beach, no longer patient enough to wait for her father. Jake's alarmed expression takes a moment, but slowly melts as he tilts his head back to look up at the sky, the unmistakable shadow of an ikran flying overhead.

The rest of the village appears to stir with curiosity as everyone becomes aware of the new entry, heads all occasionally looking up to see if they could spot the mountain banshee for themselves. As Tuk runs down to the beach, she's yelling for the rest of her family, announcing her aunt's arrival as she goes.

Kayla circled the village a few times to ensure the Metkayina was aware of her presence so that they would make some space on the beach for her to land, only feeling comfortable once the horn to announce her arrival was blown. She couldn't see him, but Spider's face was smiling widely as he peered down at the reef village below, anxious to get down there after three, long weeks.

The uproar of the horn and the talk around the village bring Ronal and Tonowari out of their kelku to see what all the fuss is about. They catch sight of Kayla's ikran and visibly appear relieved, shoulders sagging as they share a knowing look. They turn back to their home when both of their children step outside, and Tonowari's hand heavily weighs Ao'nung's shoulder as both father and son stare at one another.

"Remember what I told you," the olo'eyktan says with a skeptical look in his eye, "Respect the boy."

Tsireya smiles brightly and dutifully nods, while Ao'nung reluctantly follows suit. His sister tugs on his arm until he's following her down toward the beach, where handfuls of the village had begun to gather to form a large circle that would act as Kayla's landing zone.

Thena swings low, flying just above the water at Kayla's command. Tuk is jumping up and down in the sand, waving her arms at her aunt and laughing as she flags the ikran down. The ikran dips low, flying right past the Na'vi girl with the tip of its wing grazing the water surface, playfully spraying Tuk in the face. The girl squeals with delight and laughs, all the while Jake watches this cute display from a distance, his alarm melting in exchange for amusement, chuckling and fondly shaking his head at his sister's playful antics.

"Show off." He mutters to himself.

Tuk continues to giggle and anxiously waits until the banshee finally lands, both water and sand flying everywhere as the ikran comes in for a ferocious landing. Thena barely meets the sand with her talons before Tuk sprints up to her, arms out wide as Kayla is quick to jump off and break tsaheylu.

"Auntie!"

"Tuk!" Kayla exclaims as she quickly falls to her knees to catch her niece's embrace, laughing with the child as Tuk tackles her in a tight hug, wrapping her small arms around Kayla's neck, nearly sending her into the sand.

Kiri pushes her way through the growing crowd to get to the center, Lo'ak dutifully right behind her. She looked between her sister and Kayla, and then the human boy who had just stepped around the large ikran, making her smile widen with relief, "Monkey Boy!"

Lo'ak beams, quickly following his sister and they race to their friend, "Welcome back, Spider!"

Spider straightens and smiles gently at the sight of his friends running to him, "Hey, guys-- oh, shit!"

Only for his face to drop into shock when two large, teenage Na'vi tackles his smaller body into the water behind him. The three teens laugh as they grapple and embrace each other in the shallow water, and for added measure, Lo'ak ruffles a handful of wet sand into Spider's dreads.

"Bro!" The human boy squawks.

"That's what you get for staying away for so long," Lo'ak laughs, "What was up with that? Three weeks, cuz?"

"Hey! Did you save any of that enthusiasm for me?" Kayla calls over playfully as she stands back up, completely forgotten by Tuk who was anxious to join the Spider-hugging pile.

Kiri shoves Lo'ak down and quickly gets up before he can enact his revenge, the teenage girl bounding up and hugging her aunt's waist. Spider doesn't let Lo'ak greet Kayla and holds the Na'vi boy down so Tuk can shove wet sand into his own braided hair, leaving Lo'ak yelping and snarling at the devious pair.

Kayla laughs at the heartwarming sight, looking around and openly smiling at the growing crowd of Metkayina, most of their faces appear welcoming as they meet her gaze. She catches sight of Jake and Neytiri gently pushing through the crowd and meeting one another before walking over to join their family, which reminds Kayla to unpack a bit of her luggage from Thena's back before she can forget.

"Tuk," the girl in question looks up and skips over to her aunt when Kayla calls for her, the woman digging out a small parcel of leaves wrapped around something from one of Thena's saddle bags, "Some of your favorite sundried berries. You have my permission not to share with your dad. And... ah ha!" She fished out something that had gotten caught at the bottom of the bag. Another wrapped gift, which she carefully hands down to her youngest niece, "This is from Popiti. She said she made it just for you."

Tuk beams at the gifts, especially at the mention of her friend, before glancing up at Kayla, "Thank you, Auntie!"

Kayla smiles and moves on to the next child as the rest of the teens have now moved to stand around her, "Lo'ak, I got a new throat mic for you. Uh..." She digs around further before finding what she was looking for and handing it to her nephew, "There you are-- here's the earpiece."

"Thanks, Auntie." Lo'ak grins while taking the new communication device.

"I actually got enough for the whole family this time so we'll pass those around later," Kayla unrolls a cloth that she had tightly tied down to Thena's saddle before handing it to her older niece, "Kiri, this is your new jacket."

Kiri's eyebrows furrow before unwrapping the cloth, holding out a large, avatar-sized safari jacket, once tan but now a little worn from age and sun exposure. Kiri gently squints at the human-made item before her eyes widen with realization, glancing over at her aunt, "Was this my Ma's?"

Kayla nods with soft encouragement, "According to Norm, it was. He thought you should have it. Try it on."

Kiri did so, fitting her arms into the sleeves before wrapping the oversized jacket around her small frame like a safety blanket, taking a deep breath as she pressed her nose into the collar. Kayla smiles sweetly at the sight, "Yeah, it definitely suits you. It's warm and stylish, just like you."

Spider smiles a little and motions Kiri over, asking his friend to help him bring all of his belongings to Kayla's marui. Kiri happily accepts after she's given a moment to appreciate her gift, and with Lo'ak and Tuk's help, they get all of Kayla and Spider's supplies off of Thena's back, and the ikran huffs with appreciation.

Kayla takes a backpack from Tuk before the kids can take off to her kelku, rummaging it before she looks up at Neytiri. Both women paused as they stood in front of one another, their last known conversation playing in the back of their minds, making one another hesitant. Eventually, Kayla clears her throat and provides a gift to the Na'vi woman, holding out the shawl Mo'at made with a look of hesitance.

"Neytiri... from your sa'nok."

Neytiri's tail flicks with interest as she takes the folded-up shawl, holding it out and unraveling it. Her ears pinned back against her skull as she recognizes the fine craftsmanship as if it were her own, eyes faintly growing wet as she sucks in a sharp bit of air. She knows the meaning behind the gift, and a single tear falls down her face. Much like Kiri, Neytiri wraps the cloth around her body and takes in the item's familiar scent, feeling protected under her mother's handiwork.

Kayla averts her gaze, feeling as though she was watching Neytiri in a vulnerable moment before holding out a weapon to her brother, "Jake. I told Tarsem that you lost your tomahawk and so he made you this."

Jake's eyebrows rise in surprise, taking the new tomahawk in hand and testing the weight and craftsmanship as Kayla continues to explain, "As a sign of good faith. He wants you to know that he's leading the People by your example. You haven't been forgotten."

He tightens his jaw, internally touched by the gesture of the Omatikaya's new olo'eyktan. Lowering the tomahawk, he nods solemnly at his sister, ears sinking slightly as he hesitates, "Thanks, Kay. How... how are you?"

She fixes him a small look, apprehensive before she shrugs and looks away, "Never better."

"Everything alright back at base? What took you two so long to get back?"

Kayla's left ear flicked once before she easily answered, "We didn't want to risk the RDA following us again so we kept low until we thought it was safe enough to come back. I was going to radio you... but then I thought Spider and I could turn it into a surprise."

Jake appears satisfied with the answer, one corner of his mouth threatening to rise out of amusement. As he opens his mouth to make a no-doubt smartass remark, Kayla swiftly turns away, "I should help the kids unpack our stuff."

As she turns her back on her brother, she is suddenly tackled by another teenager, and the initial shock melts when she's met with none other than sweet Tsireya with her arms wrapped around the older woman's waist, beaming up at the avatar, "Oel ngati kameie, Makayla te Suli!"

Kayla exhaled a quiet laugh as she smiled down at the reef girl and gently squeezed her back, "Oel ngati kameie, Tsireya," briefly peering up, she noticed the boy standing behind his sister and she nodded once in greeting, "Ao'nung."

The reef boy nods back at the sound of his name, his expression impassive and reminding Kayla just how much he looks like his mother. Tsireya looks around, ignoring her brother's stare-off with Makayla as her little ears begin to fall, "Did Spider not come back with you?"

Kayla's expression melts before looking back down at the reef girl with a small smile, "He's already unpacking back at our kelku. Lo'ak and the others should be with him if you want to follow me with the rest of our things?"

"I would be happy to!" Tsireya explains while following Kayla to her ikran, the girl's sharp elbow nonchalantly meeting her brother's ribs as she passed by him.

Ao'nung coughs, "Yeah, alright."

Together, Kayla and the chief's children manage to bring the rest of hers and Spider's things to her marui, stepping inside and being met with Sully children everywhere, helping Spider unpack. Already, this pod was starting to look more like a home. Someone had actually managed to hang Kayla's "bookshelf" up, dangling it from the ceiling above and letting it hang against the wall, a few of Spider's things already nestled on it. Tsireya and Ao'nung move to help, greeting Spider and asking him questions about his travels and what he had been up to these past few weeks. If Spider was shocked by their sudden interest, he didn't show it, answering expressively, likely comfortable with their presence so long as Kayla and the Sullys were surrounding him.

Both he and Kayla were unpacked and settled back into their home in no time with the help of the children, and even though they all had to part ways to finish their chores, they promised to come back and visit before dinner to catch up and learn what has been happening in High Camp. Kayla and Spider are left in the home, tidying up before the communal dinner. Kayla takes a moment to look at the bookshelf, inspecting all the objects now placed on top to make it full and more... homey, as she had initially wanted it to look.

Spider had placed a spare mask there, with a small photo leaning against it. Kayla didn't need to ask to know who the picture was of, observing the woman with brown hair holding a blond baby in her arms. Next to the photo were two sets of dog tags, Kayla's and Jake's that she finally decided to leave off of her person and keep on the shelf as a form of memorium, along with the pictures she once had pinned up in the shack back at High Camp, specifically the one with herself and her brothers.

Satisfied with how her new home looks, she smiles and turns to address Spider, only for her words to fall short. The teen hadn't looked up from covering an ammunition container with a woven blanket, unaware of Kayla eyeing his blond locs as they had been pulled back and held up by a hair band, in a fashion very similar to Lo'ak's and other Metkayina warriors. The band itself was brown and decorated with scattered pieces of iridescent shell.

"That's new."

Spider looked up and met her eyes before he realized what she was talking about, smiling a little cautiously as he explained, "Tsireya made it for me."

A small twinkle forms in her eye, lips twitching with fondness, "Really?"

"Yeah, although I'm not sure Ao'nung helped her as she claims."

A small pause falls between them as Kayla's eyebrows furrow. Before Spider could even ask what was wrong, the expression melted into something more sincere, a smile replacing her once-shrouded emotion,

"Hm. He might've. Kinda looks like his armband. It looks good."

The mask nearly hides it, but she manages to catch a small beam of pride flash over Spider's face before it vanishes at the same time he bows his head, pretending to adjust his exo-pack. Kayla let him shy away as she was currently bombarded with her own thoughts, her smile falling once she knew Spider's back was turned. The thought of Ao'nung and Tsireya providing a gift for Spider could mean many things and Kayla didn't want to jump to any conclusions. However, the timing felt odd, especially after Norm practically had to force her to realize that Ronal and Tonowari very likely care for her more than just an ally or a member of their clan. She couldn't bring herself to say what they likely outright felt for her, but she, deep down, knew it to be true.

It couldn't have been a coincidence that the children of the Metkayina clan leaders seemed interested in Spider and his adventures, and while Kayla was delighted that the boy was making friends, she couldn't help but feel partially responsible for it. What would happen if she didn't reciprocate any of the clan leaders' advances? Would Spider's new friends suddenly pull back from him?

She didn't want to believe that the Na'vi could be so sinister, but that was the human in her... suspicious of everything.

~~~~~~~~~

Dinner rolls around and the Sullys are eager to hear about what Kayla and Spider have heard from the rest of their friends and family back in High Camp. While they try not to show it, Jake and Neytiri eye Kayla with a careful expression, as if wanting to ask her about the war but not wanting to break this moment of peace between family members, no matter how strained. Kayla uses this to her advantage, avoiding her brother and his wife for the moment so she can feel more at ease and at home after being away for longer than she intended. The children help her chest feel lighter as they eagerly share everything they had done while she was away, rambling to the point she didn't have to think about anything else other than trying to catch up with her nieces and nephew.

That is until she felt that familiar gaze practically bleeding into her skin, that gaze she could only feel when there were two sets of eyes closely watching her every move. Looking up from where she sat, Kayla easily spotted Ronal and Tonowari down near the end of the long line of Metkayina enjoying their meals. Both the tsahik and the olo'eyktan meet her eyes without shame, blue and green meeting her yellow gaze, always outnumbering her, always successful in stealing her breath away.

She knows that she was being rude by not getting up to greet them, or for never even seeking them out the moment she returned to the village. After all, they were her hosts and her clan leaders, but there was a small bit of nerves eating away at her courage to approach them. Kayla was feeling intimidated by them, now more than ever, but for an entirely different reason compared to when she first met them. It couldn't be helped after everything Norm pointed out about their past behavior towards her, his words still itching at the back of her mind, making her irritated with her best friend despite him being oceans away.

While she was taking Norm's words into consideration, she was also, unfortunately, still a Sully. Stubbornly shutting down any doubts or insecurities, she swiftly stood up and told her family that she would be right back before turning and walking through the crowd of Metkayina. Ronal and Tonowari's eyes never left hers as she walked toward them, but hers would occasionally dart away to avoid someone's tail, or to find a path around bodies as they knelt or crouched over their food. It was a good excuse for her to look away, unable to hold such an intense gaze.

When she finally drew close to the leaders in question, she touched her hand to her forehead in greeting, "Ma olo'eyktan. Ma tsahik."

Ronal pointedly looks Kayla up and down before nodding back and motioning for the dreamwalker to sit down. When Kayla crouched to her level, the tsahik opened her mouth, simply stating, "We have a gift for you."

The Metkayina woman twists to grab something settled between her and her mate, bringing it up to display in the air with both hands for Kayla, presenting a beaded top.

Kayla's eyes widened, a small, chill of dread making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up at the thought of wearing something so exposed. That is until she got a proper look at the top in question. It was... well, more conservative than Kayla had expected upon being given a Na'vi-styled top. The pieces meant to hang around the chest area are tightly woven together without a hole in sight, covering as much as possible. The beads were of a variety of blues and greens, and the pattern swirled fittingly like water. Kayla tilted her head as she eyed the pattern, a faint memory forming in the back of her head as it reminded her of that one Starry Night painting she once saw in a museum as a child. Woven grass was braided through the beads and up into a large hoop at the top of the piece, meant to wrap around her neck, with soft, feather-like straps dangling from the sides of the top, meant to hang off her shoulders.

Tonowari nods to the item in his wife's hands, "I had gathered the material and Ronal had woven them all together."

He then starts to form a closed-mouth smile, his expression soft and genuine, "Consider it a welcome home gift."

Kayla sits back on her heels, gaping at the clothing piece in awe and admiration. Slowly, her hands reach up to take the item, feeling the beads between her finger and thumb as she settles it in her lap. She swallows thickly as she raises her head up to the man and woman sitting in front of her, watching her expectedly. She blinks out of her daze, anxious as her stomach swirled uncomfortably, her conversation with Norm now practically trying to beat its way out of her skull with how loud the words pounded in her head, an awful reminder of what the gift was clearly meant to represent. She remembers the fears she expressed to Norm if she accepted Ronal and Tonowari, recalling her insecurities about her appearance, stature, and infertility. Despite wanting to spare the couple from that, she also didn't want to turn down their thoughtful gift.

She tries to express her gratitude in her small nod toward Ronal, "Thank you."

Ronal simply huffs, ears twitching once at Kayla's response as her large hand reaches forward and pinches the worn hem of the avatar's crop top, "Your clothes have seen better days. And as someone who wishes to be part of the People, You could use clothes made for the People."

~~~~~~~~~

Even though she now had a new top in her possession, Kayla didn't wear it, sticking to her old crop top. She knew wearing it would mean accepting it. It would mean something else, something she wasn't entirely ready to admit to herself or anyone.

If either Ronal or Tonowari was disappointed that she wasn't wearing their gift the next day, they didn't show it, and Kayla honestly wasn't sure if she was relieved by that or not. She tries to ignore it as Jake visits her marui to talk about certain events that unfolded with the Omatikaya while he had been away. She catches him up to speed as much as possible, her brain wracking with all the information she had been dumped with as the messenger between her brother and his old clan.

Their discussion is eventually interrupted by the sound of anxious feet kicking up sand outside, followed by shouting, "Makayla! Makayla! Look! Something's happening to Spider!"

It was like a ball of lead dropped down her stomach as panic ambushed all her senses. Before Kayla could even run out of the pod, however, three teenagers come hurtling inside, some more panicked than others. Kayla first spotted Tsireya, the reef girl's concern as clear as day on her young, sweet face. Her larger hands tugged Spider along with her, the human teenaged boy looking a bit flushed and closed-off, shoulders hunching as if he was trying to look small, or at least smaller than he already was compared to the Na'vi standing all around him.

Ao'nung was the third teenager, and he was standing directly behind his sister and Spider, towering over the pair. Despite the hard expression, his ears were flicking wildly around, almost as fast as his eyes as he looked between Spider and up at Kayla, just as concerned as Tsireya, who was now frantically turning Spider around in her grasp as he tried to yelp and swat at her. Spider clearly wasn't trying to harm her, however, as she then displayed his back to the two adults in the room, "See!"

All worry drains from Kayla as she fights to keep her expression neutral, despite the growing amusement in her chest when she notices Spider's pink and peeling skin. Not wanting to appear as though she was mocking Tsireya's panicked state with laughter, the older woman bites the inside of her cheek to keep back a smile that threatened to appear as she peers down at the child she was responsible for.

"Spider, I told you to put on sunscreen."

"I did!" He exclaimed defiantly, his face flushed with pink underneath his mask, likely out of shame and embarrassment then a small sunburn.

"And did you reapply any as needed? That stuff only lasts a few hours, you know."

He pointedly avoided Kayla's gaze, still indignant and refusing to reply, keeping his back to her as Kayla hummed, now letting a smirk grace her face, "That's what I thought. You might be fine now, but if you don't start properly treating your skin at a young age, you'll just run into problems when you're older, like skin cancer."

Jake was just as easily entertained by the concerned reef children and Spider's embarrassment, standing off to the side as his tail flicked behind him with interest. He glances between Kayla and Spider, one corner of his lips twitching as his eyes stare fondly and, dare I say, proudly at his sister.

Kayla didn't appear to notice Jake as she reached for the tube of sunscreen that now made its home on her kelku's shelf, "Come on. You promised Max."

Spider kept his head lowered, ashamed even as he grumbled a small form of agreement and took the sunscreen from her. This teenager was actually full-blown pouting at Kayla, and it made Jake chuckle in amusement, finally speaking up to reassure the boy, "Don't worry about it, Spider. As humans, Sullys tend to burn way worse than that, so we didn't get much sun as kids. We were pretty pale. One look at Kayla and people used to ask if she was a vampire."

Kayla's brows furrowed as she glanced back at her brother, "Shut up, Jake."

"What's a vampire?" Spider asked curiously, trying to mask his shock toward Jake as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that the older man had just categorized Spider under the Sully family.

"Don't listen to him," Kayla immediately replied as Jake was opening his mouth. One more lighthearted glare from her and the older brother immediately closed his mouth once more, still grinning even as Kayla nodded to Spider and his two shadows, "Now you kids get outta here."

"But," Ao'nung's ears lower, "What about Spider--"

"It's called a sunburn, Ao'nung," Kayla smiles reassuringly, "Humans get them when they're out in the sun too long. It's normal, don't worry."

"I wasn't."

"Mm hm," she smirks, unconvinced as she nods to the open doorway, "Go on. 'Git."

Jake snorts fondly at Kayla's choice of human words as the three teens leave the marui once more. Both older Sully siblings fall into silence as they watch the children leave, Jake's amusement falling into something more thoughtful as he struggles to find the right words, "The kid looks good. You did good."

"I didn't do anything." Kayla brushes his comment off, moving back to the mat she had been previously kneeling on.

"No, I mean... you did right by him. You fought for him when no one else did. He's a good kid," Jake tried expressing how proud he was of his sister without using those exact words, knowing she wouldn't accept them, least of all from him. They sit across from each other, a small lit fire between them as Jake's voice lowers, "He's lucky to have you as his mom."

Her eyes quickly glance up at him and immediately narrow, "I'm not--"

"Kayla, come on. He relies on you. He looks up to you. I know that look better than most. He's trying very hard to live up to you... and part of me thinks he got that from watching Neteyam and Lo'ak."

Slowly, her defensive stance melts as her words soften, "Jake. Hey, stop. Don't do that."

He wasn't sure what she was implying until he realized his vision was blurry, obstructing her face from what was only a few feet from him. Jake immediately blinked and cleared his throat, his voice still tight, "We talked. Me and Lo'ak."

"That's good."

"Yeah... I just wish I had done it sooner. If I did, maybe Neteyam--"

"Don't," She could do nothing else but shake her head at him, "We all carry some form of regret. Just focus on now."

~~~~~~~~~

That night, she found herself adding yet another bead to her songcord, only this time, she successfully weaves it into the growing waytelem all by herself. It was a bead she had seen Spider wear in his hair before but had recently replaced with yet another shell both Tsireya and Tuk had been finding for him. Kayla wouldn't think Spider would notice if he was missing a bead, but she still kept her newfound piece for her songcord a secret, immediately tucking it away once she was finished applying it just as Spider was returning home for the night. He looked exhausted, spending most of the day with Tsireya and Kiri as the two girls appeared adamant about teaching him the ways of the Metkayina. Rotxo had eventually joined them and then what was once a lesson had quickly grown into a game.

Kiri and Spider decided to try to teach the two reef children a human game they had learned from Jake when they were little, and so Spider quickly found himself on Rotxo's shoulders while Tsireya was on Kiri's. They must have played 'Chicken Fight' for hours, both Tsireya and Rotxo enticed by the simple game of trying to wrestle their competitor into the water, despite being confused about what exactly a chicken was. Neither Kiri nor Spider could answer. They didn't know either.

Since Spider was smaller, he couldn't imagine lifting either of the Metkayina teenagers, but he'd already had practice with Kiri, so he had managed to hold her up on his shoulders for a round or two, but it still had his back feeling sore by the time he walked home. His hand was crossing over his chest and rubbing the opposite shoulder as he walked into the kelku, met with Kayla working on something in her hands before she tucked it away in her pocket, her hands now focused on cooking some fish over the hearth's fire.

"Hey," she smiled when she looked up to greet him, "How was your day?"

"Good. Tired," he responds shortly, sitting down across from her as he looks into the smoldering fire. A sheepish expression flashes over his face for a moment as he lets his thoughts get the better of him, speaking quietly in case he shouldn't be asking, "So... what am I supposed to call you?"

Her brows furrow in confusion, shadows from the fire dancing over her face, "Huh?"

"It's just that..." he ducks his head, "You don't want me calling you Kayla forever, right?"

Realization dawns on her face when she finally deduces what he is trying to say, her surprise melting into contempt as she replies, "You're not supposed to call me anything other than what you're comfortable with."

He peers up at her with a soft frown, "Again, you're being too understanding. You're not helping my case in believing I could kill in front of you and you wouldn't bat an eye."

"Smartass," she laughed, eliciting a smile to form on Spider's face at the sound. Kayla's nose scrunched up as she smiled back, "You can just call me Kayla if you want. It'll be all up to you for once."

It might not have been the answer he was expecting, but it was one he greatly appreciated and thought long and hard on.

~~~~~~~~~

Spider thought about Kayla's response as he and the Sully children were listening in on Jake, Neytiri, and Kayla as they argued one afternoon in hushed voices in the security of the Sully marui. Apparently, Kayla had done Neytiri wrong by bringing Spider back to Awa'atlu, and while she had kept her mouth closed about her distaste, it all came to a head when Spider had taken Tuk for a small swim without her consent.

It was his fault, and while Spider had initially tried to take the blame, Kayla had shot him down and told the kids to go look for Tsireya for the evening and let the adults talk alone. Obviously, the children weren't about to do that and snuck around behind the marui to snoop on their parents' conversation, ducking their heads to peer underneath the wall so they could see the three adults.

"What if she got hurt? What could he possibly do to help her?" Neytiri had hissed to both her husband and his sister, Spider's guardian, "I do not want my baby to be by herself, let alone left with him."

"Spider's responsible," Kayla defended her charge with her arms crossed and glare pinpointed at her sister-in-law, "And yes, he should've asked, but that doesn't mean he's a bad kid, Neytiri. Kids forget things. It happens."

"And when children die, does it just 'happen?'" Neytiri snipes back, clear grief and anger mixing her pools of yellow eyes.

"It does when someone holds a knife to their throat," Kayla hisses, quick as lightning with her reply as her tail flicks sporadically behind her, "As you likely knew when you did so to Spider."

Kiri's hand snakes up and grips tightly onto Spider's shoulder, both of them doing their best to keep their breathing slow and quiet so the adults they were eavesdropping on wouldn't hear them. Lo'ak makes a point to keep a hand over Tuk's mouth from off to the side of them. Spider swallows thickly as Kayla's retort bounces around in his head, the memory of Neytiri putting him in harm's way still always lingering whenever he looks at her, his hand unconsciously rising to trace the scar on his chest. The way Kiri was gripping his shoulder, he knew she was thinking the same thing.

"Enough," Jake alleviates as gently as possible, a permanent dent in his forehead from his eyebrows wrinkling with concern and desperation about the well-being of his family members. He glances between his wife and his sister before settling on Neytiri, "Spider isn't a danger to anyone, baby. You know this. He grew up with our children."

"You have never, not once, disagreed with me about the boy until now," Neytiri sneered back, betrayal evident in her eyes as she glanced between Jake and Kayla, "Until she decided to keep him like some pet and bring him around our children."

"Spider is not a pet," Jake retorts softly, his eyes unable to meet hers as her words only made his guilt stronger in his gut, regretting all those years he should've fought for an innocent child.

"And he's not her son," Neytiri growled lowly, "She's not his mother."

Spider watches Kayla's expression fall along with her ears and tail, the sight alone causing an unexpecting wave of rage to wash through him. He barely even thinks, a split-second decision made as he pulls out of Kiri's grip and stomps out of hiding, reentering the marui and pointing an accusing finger right up at Neytiri, venom in his voice as he was quick to defend Kayla, "Then by your logic, Kiri isn't your daughter."

The room falls into intense silence as all three adults zone in on Spider, all of them surprised by his reappearance, their ears falling with shame as all of the children come out of hiding, revealing they had heard everything just by looks alone. Neytiri felt as though she was between a rock and a hard place as she stared into each of her children's disappointed eyes before landing back on Spider, who didn't appear to be done with her,

"If Kiri was born a human, would you have loved her?" The question stuns Neytiri into silence, though she subtly glances at her eldest daughter as Spider continues, "Because that was always your excuse to avoid me. Because I was human. The thing is, I don't think you wouldn't love Kiri any less if she was human. She was born of Dr. Augustine, someone you loved very much."

The name makes Jake wince and Kiri's ears lower, her eyes wet and internally pleading with Neytiri as she stares up at her adoptive mother. Kayla felt as though she couldn't breathe, staring down at the boy she took in with disbelief, unable to blink in case he suddenly disappeared. She was surprised by his quick words in defense of her, unable to stop this small wave of pride desperately wanting to display on her face.

Spider shakes his head as he continues, defeat in his voice after finally accepting the truth for the first time ever in his life, "But if she were human? It wouldn't have mattered. Because you don't actually hate all humans. You just hate me... because of the man who helped create me."

Neytiri's expression settles back into someone filled with anger and takes one step toward him, but only gets one step before Kayla suddenly stands in front of Spider, blocking her path. Both women stare one another dead in the eyes with a deep snarl escaping both of their lips, ready for blood if need be and visibly making Jake and the children uneasy. Spider felt his body move before his mind could catch up, and without a thought, he stepped forward and stood close to Kayla's side, half covered by her body as if hiding from Neytiri.

Kayla's eyes didn't even blink as she glared at her sister-in-law, her voice deep and grinding like gravel, "If you know what's best for you, you'll leave him alone. You will never hurt Spider again."

Jake would've been impressed by the deep, protective growl his sister lets out if it wasn't for the fact that it was directed at his mate. In other words, the sound intimidated him and he genuinely worried for Neytiri if she didn't back down. He noticed his own kids flinch as well, and a faint memory of them reacting poorly to Neytiri's ferociousness against Quaritch only made him want to defuse the situation even more. He understands that Kayla was just protecting Spider, much like how he knew Neytiri would protect her own children, but he didn't want this ending with the two women he valued most in life to continue being at each other's throats.

Spider looked up at Jake, and whatever expression he saw on the older man's face made him understand what he was thinking. Wordlessly, Spider reached his hand up and gently settled it on Kayla's arm. Jake felt the tension in his own shoulders melt as Kayla's posture began to relax, her tail still flicking irritably, but she had stopped baring her fangs and now only looked at Neytiri with disappointment instead of pure hatred.

"What you went through-- what the Sky People put you through, I understand," she starts out, "I understand why you're hostile to humans. But loss and pain don't excuse the neglect and pure hatred directed toward an innocent child. Spider didn't kill your sister or your father. He didn't destroy your home. Your hostility is directed at the wrong person and he doesn't deserve it."

Neytiri scoffed with sharp fangs, her words not as heated but also still hurting Spider like the knife that was once cut along his chest, "He spared the life of the man who destroyed my home, who killed my father and was behind the death of my son--"

"You were the one who told me Eywa only protects the balance of life," Kayla raised her chin, "You said it yourself. A son for a son. Quaritch already paid for Neteyam's death, even if he didn't die in return. Quaritch will get what's coming to him, in time, but it won't be by harming Spider."

Neytiri stares at Kayla for a good long while, her hatred slowly sinking back down beneath her skin as defeat and grief replace it once more. She takes one look back down at Spider and scoffs, but more quietly than before. Eventually, she turns and looks away, ending the conversation with her back toward them as her mind runs rampant with conflicting thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~

Tsireya noticed the obvious tension among the Sully family immediately. It wasn't hard, really, but one morning, they seemed happy and content, but then the next, they were clearly avoiding one another, or at least the adults were. The chief's daughter noticed the distaste that appeared to stick permanently on Neytiri's face as she followed Ronal out into the water astride a pair of ilu. Tsireya didn't dare try and calm whatever storm was brewing in Neytiri's mind that day, knowing that her mother would quickly straighten it out.

So, Tsireya decides to calm whatever storm was in Kayla's head, since the other Sully female appeared to be just as irritated with something that likely involved Neytiri since they were both being kept far away from each other, by Jake and the children. Tsireya finds Kayla and politely asks if she could accompany her to the crafting pods today. Kayla followed the young reef girl without question and together they walked toward the huts where Kayla had first officially met Tsireya.

Tsireya didn't waste any time once they arrived. Taking Kayla's hand, she lures the older woman around the large circle of Metkayina who were crafting various different items and stops her in front of one particular Na'vi she had been dying to introduce Kayla to, "Makayla, this is Rutxa. They are our very best weaver, in both crafting and story-telling."

Ruxta looked up at the mention of their name and sharp blue eyes immediately landed on Kayla. Standing to full height, they stood over Kayla by about an inch, clearly more built around the shoulders and legs. Their crafting which Tsireya swears by is obviously shown in their clothes, wearing a beautiful, sharp lapis blue top that wraps around their neck, chest, and back, woven through a cummerbund similar to any Metkayina warrior. The cummerbund was strapped over only one shoulder and decorated with both shells and akula teeth. Rutxa's loincloth was a lighter, aqua color, made of dried seaweed, and decorated with a very long and impressive songcord. Tattoos peek out of Ruxta's clothing and wrap around their shoulders and back, a smaller one inked around their left eye, accentuating their lagoon blue skin.

"Ah, so I finally get to meet the famous dreamwalker everyone is talking about." Ruxta's smile is wide and cat-like, which automatically sets off something in the back of Kayla's mind.

"Everyone?" Kayla asked, slightly suspicious.

"Don't listen to them, Makayla," Tsireya tugged Kayla's hand so the older woman would look down at her, the reef girl's smile was playful, "Rutxa tends to fabricate a lot of stories."

Ruxta flashes a knowing look down at Tsireya, a look only an adult could possess when talking to someone younger, "Child, if I recall, you used to eat up my stories when you had yet to learn how to speak."

Kayla had never seen Tsireya this giddy before, giggling to herself with a small, amused roll of her eyes in Rutxa's direction before the reef girl tugged Kayla's hand until she was kneeling down between herself and the Metkayina weaver. The three of them crouching together in a small circle, they get to work as Rutxa shows Kayla the best weaving techniques, a feat that the avatar woman had yet to master. Tsireya smiles and watches as Kayla is suddenly dragged into a discussion about the best ways to weave a story as her hands move to bead together a lovely top without having to think about it much, Ruxta easily gets the proper responses from the dreamwalker and even a few stories of her own from her homeworld that intrigued the weaver.

Tsireya took a look outside to determine the time of day before she had to regrettably part ways to find Lo'ak and Spider for their lessons. The reef girl stands and respectfully bows her hand to both Kayla and Ruxta with a sweet smile before exchanging pleasantries and leaving the pod, waving over her shoulder at the pair before disappearing.

Kayla smiled while watching her go before lowering her gaze to continue her work, only to realize a separate gaze was now carefully watching her. She glanced up and noticed Rutxa had not returned to their work and was comfortable just staring at Kayla with a knowing expression. Once they realized Kayla had noticed them, Rutxa flicks their eyes over to the entrance of the pod that Tsireya had just exited through,

"She adores you."

Kayla looks back down at her work, smiling to herself, "I adore her. She's a very sweet and kind person."

"She speaks very highly of you, as does her sa'sem."

The mention of Ronal and Tonowari forces Kayla's hands to pause around the top she had successfully made. It was too small for her, but Rutxa insisted on starting small, so perhaps it could be gifted to a child of the village... if they would want something made by Kayla. The brief distraction doesn't last long as the thought of the clan leaders drives Kayla's ears to flick with interest, even as her eyes downcast, "Their respect is misplaced."

"Is it?" Rutxa hummed while leaning back on the balls of their feet, watching Kayla's expression carefully, "They are grateful to you. We all are. After all, you did save our tsahik's life."

Both her ears and her tail perk up in attention, her eyes slowly following as her brows furrow in confusion, "What?"

"She claimed that you saved her against the Sky People at Three Brothers Rock. You took down another demon and their ikran without even thinking before you flew away."

Kayla's tail leisurely sways as she ponders this, thinking back to that battle, to all the times she had killed a Sky Person or a Recom. She remembered Thena had feasted on one's head when they crashed in the sky, and then there was one shooting into the water... was that the moment Rutxa spoke of? Did Kayla save Ronal's life? She couldn't recall if she saw the tsahik at that moment, everything going so fast and Kayla barely had time to react or else she might've found herself getting hurt or worse. It was difficult to remember any particular point she might have seen either Ronal or Tonowari during the battle, that is before they saved her from drowning and then brought her to Neteyam...

She stops that thought process before it could even begin, sucking in a quiet, sharp breath when another takes over. Was it possible that Ronal and Tonowari were only treating her differently like Rutxa claims? Because she saved Ronal's life? Because they were grateful? Most of the things the clan leaders said or did that made Kayla question their motives only happened after the battle. It couldn't have been a coincidence... could it? Maybe they didn't care for her like Norm and even Spider claimed... so then why didn't she feel relieved? Why did the bottom of her stomach feel like lead?

She swallowed thickly, her jaw visibly clenching as she stared down at the newly woven top, "The praise should go to my brother as Toruk Makto."

Ruxta snorts through their nose, the sound bouncing through Kayla's ears, "Believe me, the whole village is aware of the demanded respect between Toruk Makto and his sister."

"I doubt it," Kayla muttered, "When I hear the village whisper about us, they call us Vrrtep Mesmuk."

"Ah, yes," they hum thoughtfully, "I can understand how that would be seen as an insult. And perhaps it was at the start, but not for some time. After we fought the Sky People with you and your brother by our side, many Metkayina now use your title as a sign of respect. We are honored to have fought beside Vrrtep Mesmuk, and we hope to spread stories of you and your brother to other clans as well. Your brother is Toruk Makto after all, and the story of Toruk Makto is meant to bring all Na'vi together in times of war or sorrow."

Kayla wasn't entirely convinced by this change in behavior, but it was a comforting thought to think, if only for a moment, that the Metkayina were starting to grow and respect her family for who they were and not just what they represented. At the very least... Rutxa didn't seem like the type of person who cared whether or not she was some sort of demon possessing a deformed body,

"I'm almost afraid to ask what kind of stories you plan on sharing."

Ruxta puffs out their chest, voice playful, "I will have you know I am an excellent storyteller. I was already weaving the tale of a dreamwalker who flew back to our village after a large, victorious battle with a demon child in her arms."

The smile that once threatened to make an appearance falls as Kayla is quick to defend the demon child in question, "That child's name is Spider."

Rutxa catches the tone of her voice and eyes her carefully, "That is an odd name for a child."

She wasn't expecting that response, and it surprised a small laugh out of her, "It's not a conventional name among my kind either, but it's the one he chose and the only name I need to know."

A small wave of understanding flows between the pair, a recognition of respect shining in Rutxa's eyes as they smirk gently, "From what I hear about the Sky People, they are not very understanding of culture outside of their own. I am pleased to see that not all Sky People are like that."

"No," she agreed with a warm smile, "Not all."

~~~~~~~~~

Despite coming to many revelations, only to be riddled with just as many questions, Kayla still found time to be with Ronal and Tonowari, just the three of them. Even though every bone in her body told her to refuse and avoid their presence, she found that her feet were still walking in the direction that Tonowari had instructed her to meet them after their evening meal.

She tried to come up with excuses in her head as to why they wanted her to join them at night. Perhaps it was under the guise that all three of them had been extremely busy ever since Kayla and Spider returned, but that still didn't make her feel better, knowing that to want to spend time with her meant that they cared for her in some way shape, or form. And even though she logically didn't want that... she couldn't ignore certain other parts of her that were seemingly devoid of logic. Parts of her wanted to believe that they wanted her around for something besides gratitude, besides wanting to keep an eye on her or wanting her to do her part and not be useless to their village.

She finds them standing along the beach where they told her to meet them, their toes dipped into the bioluminescent sand, creating a rippling galaxy beneath their very feet. Kayla can't help but think of the Milky Way, a long line of clustered stars lining the island where the sand meets the ocean. Ronal and Tonowari stood at the center of the cluster of stars, immovable planets that demand others to revolve around them, and in a way, Kayla found herself doing just that, moving toward them like an unforeseen gravity pulling her in.

Tonowari was watching her approach while Ronal was looking up at the sky, watching that familiar, beautiful gas giant with the large crater glaring down at them. Kayla was now standing close enough where she could count the tattoos on both of their faces, so she stopped, deciding that this would have to be close enough, a few feet away, just out of arm's reach. It was for the better.

Tonowari watched as Kayla peered up into the sky, watching the same gas giant as Ronal before the chief spoke up, "It is Naranawm. 'Great Eye.'"

Kayla hummed in understanding, "My people call it Polyphemus, named after a cyclops."

Both pairs of Metkayina eyes are now trained on her, Kayla's ears tucking close to her head out of embarrassment while she shyly explains herself, "It's uh... it's a mythological creature from my homeworld. The Cyclops is a man-eating giant with only one eye at the center of its face."

"That is barbaric." Ronal simply states with a scrunched nose.

A breath of a laugh escapes Kayla, "And yet, you guys have man-eating creatures here that are considered the stuff of nightmares where I'm from. Polyphemus was one of the pretty popular in one or two stories. His father was the god of the sea-- or something like that."

"God of the sea?" Tonowari tilts his head with interest.

Kayla nods, deciding that it would be inappropriate to share how she imagined Poseidon to look like Tonowari if such a benevolent god existed, "Yeah. Um... depending on what part of Earth you lived on, your faith in certain deities varies. Polyphemus stems from Greek mythology and the Greeks believed in multiple gods, Poseidon being one of them. He was the god of the sea."

"What deity did your part of the world believe in?"

"One god, like Eywa..." Kayla shivered at distant memories of religious trauma, "Only the Great Mother tends to sound kinder."

~~~~~~~~~

Another night, another moment of silent contempt between them. Kayla walked away from that night feeling both lighter and full of anxiety. She almost wanted to demand exactly what Ronal and Tonowari wanted from her, but at the same, they appeared content with the way things are right now, and maybe that was enough for her, too. Then again, she was confusing and frustrating herself with trying to figure out the clan leaders' motives. Wanting to try and distract herself from her rampaging thoughts, she decides to keep herself busy.

By the end of the week, Kayla finds herself barely resting apart from at night. She found time with Ronal by helping her gather any healing or cooking ingredients from high up in the trees where the tsahik would have normally struggled to grab herself. Other times, she was helping Ao'nung and Tonowari hunt and fish. When she wasn't doing that, she was helping both the tsahik and the olo'eyktan with weaving fishing nets, descaling their catches, or carving out a new canoe. Tasks like this usually left a healthy sheen of sweat on her skin, and whether she realized it or not, Ronal and Tonowari's eyes lingered on her even longer during these moments. Kayla would've thought her body was heating up under their gaze if it wasn't for the fact her body was already warm from a hard day's work.

While it's not much of a chore, Kayla still finds herself busy in Tsireya's presence, the reef girl always constantly dragging her around for certain things, like deep diving with Lo'ak or hunting for the most perfect shells with Tuk and Kiri. Sometimes, it was to even help her teach Spider the way of water. While he couldn't learn very much without the use of a kuru, Tsireya still thought it would be important for him to learn how to hold his breath as long as a Metkayina, in case of emergencies where he might lose his mask and didn't have a spare. Kayla strongly agreed with this sentiment and was honestly touched by Tsireya's thoughtfulness.

Spider was a little amused and even bravely teased Tsireya, asking her if she was worried about him, to which she smiled and lightheartedly smacked him upside the head, driving Kayla into small, fond fits of laughter.

When she wasn't busy with all of those things, she found herself in the presence of at least half a dozen children, children who were eager to learn common English.

She wasn't sure how she got pulled into being a teacher, but once Jake caught wind of it, he was also supportive of the idea. Both he and Kayla silently agree that, after what the children had all been through as of late, it might be important for them to know certain Earth customs, writing, and language. While the Sully children are already bilingual -multilingual now that they have the Metkayina's sign language and tulkun speak under their belt- they do not know how to write the language of the Sky People and the reef children who befriended them even less so. The Sully children, Spider, Ao'nung, Tsireya, and Rotxo had all come to a silent agreement that they wanted Kayla to teach them, and while she wasn't sure why, she didn't want to disappoint them.

Spider found himself being her assistant since he already knew how to read and write, giving helpful advice and even translating some of the things Kayla said as some of the information was hard to initially grasp in fluent Na'vi. The Sully children were able to understand, but when it came to the reef children, let's just say they were grateful Spider was better at speaking Na'vi than Kayla.

While she suspected who taught Spider how to read and write, she didn't want to ask, knowing it was likely a touchy subject to him. She discovers fairly quickly that there's still one too many things the teenager refuses to talk about, and while she was fine with that and respected his boundaries, there were times when her curiosity nearly got the best of her. Nearly.

There are times when she remembers how much this kid has gone through in his short sixteen years of life, it makes her head spin. Other times, she remembers that he's still just a kid, like one particular afternoon as Kayla and Spider were outside of their marui and making their first fishnet together.

"Spider."

He looks up at his name, surprised when he realizes who it was that called to him. Ronal was staring expectedly at him, and behind her was Tonowari, a tall and strong pillar of strength, holding a familiar weapon in his hand that looked far too small for the olo'eyktan. However, it was the perfect size for Spider.

The teenager finds himself standing to his full height and hesitantly stepping toward the clan leaders, his eyes widening at the sight of a beautifully made bow, already strung and adorning lovely feathers and leather grip, "Is that...?"

Tonowari smiles solemnly, bending down to Spider's height and passing the bow along to him, "For you. We hope it is to your liking."

Kayla felt the soft hint of a smile beginning to form on her lips as she watched Spider take the long bow from Tonowari as if it were a precious child or an injured animal. Spider's hands immediately moved to test the strength of the weapon, fingers gliding across the fine craftsmanship before his eyes peered up at the Metkayina clan leaders, unable to stop the doubt and suspicion in his gaze,

"You made this for me?"

Ronal's expression remains neutral, calculating, ever the one to point out the obvious, "You needed one."

And Tonowari is always the one to soften her bold statements, "We wanted to make it right and to your size."

"So we had Neytiri help us," Ronal finished.

Both Kayla and Spider visibly stiffen at this bit of information, both adult and teenager frowning with even more suspicion than before, much to the clan leaders' internal distress since that was not their intent. Ronal, despite her audaciousness, wasn't trying to upset either of them and hoped that she didn't say anything wrong. The tsahik was constantly at war in her mind, reminding herself to stay open-minded about other sawtute if she wanted Kayla and Spider to be a part of her family's lives, but it was difficult to keep her mind open when the dead image of Ro'a and her baby was stitched permanently in her memory.

Despite her conflicted emotions, she didn't want Spider or even Kayla to believe she was disgusted by them. Quite the opposite. In fact, whenever she looked at them, she would sometimes forget they were both human. It was easier to forget when Kayla possessed the body of a Na'vi, but with Spider, he held himself like one, despite being cursed in the body he was born in. Ronal couldn't fault a child for that, least of all Spider. Nevertheless, Ronal was tsahik, and her expertise lies with Eywa. Even if Ronal had some doubt about Kayla and the child she was responsible for, which she no longer possessed, Eywa clearly saw something in them that she didn't yet.

Spider's next words were more of a statement than a question, "She helped you."

"Yes," Ronal nodded, trying to calm whatever doubt was clearly evident in the child's eyes, "She is an expert at archery. A skilled warrior. We thought she could help us make this for you."

"Yeah..." He stares down at his new bow, though his mind is far away, back over the ocean and somewhere in the forest. He was thinking about all the times he was a kid, practicing his archery skills, away from prying eyes, wanting to be the best... wanting to be like Neytiri. Back then, he really thought she would accept him if he strived to be like her. After some time, as he grew up, he started to realize that she would never accept him, but that didn't stop him from being very skilled with a bow. He was easily the most skilled with it out of every human currently living on Pandora, and while he no longer strived to impress Neytiri, he had taken the bow as his own, not wanting his true talent to go to waste.

He thought he had lost that talent when he lost his bow, and he even voiced how much he missed it when Kayla had brought him to speak to the clan leaders all those weeks ago. As he inspected the one now secured in his hands, he couldn't help but feel touched that Ronal and Tonowari remembered something he said once in passing.

Instead of voicing his thoughts, Spider looked up at Ronal and Tonowari, gratitude evident in his smile, "Irayo. This... this is amazing. I appreciate it."

Regardless of how she felt toward Neytiri, Kayla also felt herself smiling in gratitude, making sure to look directly at both Ronal and Tonowari so they knew it, too.

~~~~~~~~~

One must enjoy the little things in life.

Kayla remembers that phrase from somewhere back on Earth, and it sticks to the front of her mind as she's teaching her nieces, nephews, and their friends how to spell their names in the English alphabet. A task she once found tedious when she was a child was now a bright and shining moment she could witness in other children.

Although if she were to voice how much she regretted not enjoying how to spell her own name as a kid, Jake would've reminded her that her teacher was awful and the bastard forced her to use her right hand to spell her name even when she was more comfortable using her left. Her learning experiences were vastly different from what Lo'ak, Kiri, Tuk, and their friends were used to, and Kayla wanted to keep it that way.

She tries to enjoy the little things in life, like the way Ronal looks while watching her teach. The tsahik was standing just outside the entryway of Kayla's pod, silent to not interrupt, only to observe. Kayla didn't want to believe Ronal was chaperoning her but was just curious as to what all the fuss was about.

Kayla wasn't far off. Ronal has been subjected to Tsireya's ramblings every evening, gushing over how fun it is to learn a new language. Ao'nung isn't as expressive, and yet, he still keeps disappearing to Kayla's kelku with the rest of the children when it's time to learn. Even Tonowari has gone to see what's so interesting about Kayla's lessons, and when he came back the night before, he expressed how intriguing it was and urged Ronal to see for herself.

She had failed to see what her mate found intriguing about these lessons. All Kayla did was have the children repeat everything she said and then ask them to write her lessons down to prove that they had been paying attention. However, the mood shifts when Kayla goes to each child and helps them spell out each of their own, personal names, using a tawtute device she calls a datapad. Everyone appeared excited to use what they learned to see their own name on a screen, and while Ronal didn't understand why, she didn't verbally complain. Regardless of how she felt, it clearly made Makayla happy, her lips almost permanently smiling as she watched every child's reaction when they spelled their name right.

Once Kayla dismissed the kids for the day to do their afternoon chores, it left her and Ronal alone in her marui, and before Kayla could ask what the other woman was thinking, she already had a question in mind, "Why teach them?"

Kayla tilts her head, curious, "What do you mean?"

"Why do they need to write stories and history when we already express our stories and history through our songcords?"

"It's... it's a little different," she found herself sputtering for the best way to explain, ears darkening a shade as she tried to find her words, "I mean-- well, I guess for Sky People, writing our names is like having a songcord. Every person's handwriting is unique. It's personal. It's their identity."

While Ronal stands there, unconvinced, Kayla is still smiling and hellbent on showing the other woman what she means, "Here, just-- Let me show you."

She presents the datapad, and Ronal frowns at the sight of the alien device. Kayla writes something on the screen and beams when showing it to her, "This is what my name looks like written in English."

Not that Ronal could read exactly what was written on the screen, but the thought of Makayla's name scrawled in soft swirls and sharp edges intrigued her. Ronal stared at the screen, tilting her head with interest. The image was long, the shapes toward the end growing smaller as if Kayla realized she was running out of space.

Kayla smiled when she recognized the interest floating in Ronal's eyes, "Can I write your name?"

The tsahik nods once and Kayla turns the datapad back on herself as her finger presses down and erases her name, scrawling down another image -another name- and flipping it back over to show to Ronal. Again, the Na'vi woman couldn't read it, but since she knew it was meant to be her name, she understood why it felt so meaningful to Kayla that she wanted to teach the children how to do the same. Ronal could finally see the appeal, especially since it was Kayla's hand that wrote out Ronal's name. It gave the name a whole new meaning to the tsahik to have it be written by the other woman's finger.

"Just yesterday, Lo'ak asked me to show him how to spell and write Neteyam's name so he could carve it into a bracelet he intends to make," the mood shifts to something dire and sad, Kayla's smile less bright than before as she quietly explained, "That's why I wanted the other kids to learn. It's just nice to have your own identity written out like this. Where I'm from, people often get tattoos of their loved ones' names when they die."

That image wasn't as impossible to imagine as others. Perhaps it was because she had tattoos of her own, but Ronal could understand why the Sky People would ink their skin with the names of their lost loved ones. It was different compared to why the Metkayina bore tattoos, but it was just as important nevertheless.

She studied Kayla's face carefully, wondering what she would look like if she bore Metkayina tattoos-- or wore her hair the way Metkayina women would. The thought brings the tsahik to study Kayla's hair, her mouth, once again, saying the first thing that comes to mind without really even thinking about it,

"Your braids need to be redone."

"Yeah?" Kayla's sad spell is broken as she reaches up to feel the top of her head, feeling the roots that have grown out, unbraided compared to the rest of her locks. A sheepish smile falls across her lips, "I guess it's been a while."

A split-second decision was made as Ronal moved away to kneel down near the entrance of the marui, waving her hand at the space in front of her, "Come. Sit."

Kayla exhales a quiet huff, lips quirked out of amusement as she sets her datapad down and moves to join Ronal, sitting cross-legged in front of the Na'vi woman and dutifully staying still as she feels larger fingers begin unraveling all of her old, unkempt braids. Ronal's hands were rough and straightforward, making Kayla bite her tongue to refrain from yelping out of pain. Ronal only tsked at her when she noticed Kayla's hands gripping onto her own knees to restrain herself, berating the avatar woman for not keeping up with treating her hair properly. Had she done so, this wouldn't be an issue. Kayla had to scoff at the irony of that, and had she been able to see behind her head, she would've caught Ronal smiling.

Ronal undoes the braids and removes all the beads hidden within. Without a proper comb or a way to soften Kayla's hair, Ronal used her tsahik knife, whittled to a pointed tip and protected by the shell adornment she often kept around her neck. She uses the pointed tip as a comb pick, unknotting the roughest spots in Kayla's long hair, being careful around her ears and kuru.

The sight of the tswin braid entices Ronal, hands pausing around the base of Kayla's skull, fingers still threaded in the other woman's hair. Ronal eyes the large, singular braid for a long moment before continuing her work, but any time her fingers gently graze the sensitive appendage, she revels the sight of Kayla's skin rising in small, soft bumps.

Kayla did her best to stay still, keeping her back ramrod straight in an attempt to restrain the shiver she felt going up her spine each time Ronal's fingers passed over her kuru. Kayla wasn't an idiot. She knows how sensitive that spot is for all Na'vi and how important it is for their way of life. Still, she hadn't initially thought about it when Ronal instructed her to sit down as she did her hair. Had she thought it through, Kayla might not have agreed, knowing how... serene and intimate it would feel to have the other woman redo her hair, to trust her to be careful around a very sensitive spot.

It appears Eywa intends to torture Kayla to no end today as a shadow looms over the entry of her kelku. Tonowari peers inside, stopping by in search of his mate once he had noticed all the children have left their lessons, and evidently found something better. He found Kayla as she sat perfectly still, cross-legged, with his mate kneeling behind her, Ronal hovering over the back of her head as the tsahik focused on braiding groups of her hair, one small lock at a time.

As the olo'eyktan stepped into the pod, Kayla realized just how much space he took up in her small home. To Spider, this place was like a studio apartment. For Tonowari, it was more like a walk-in closet.

"Perhaps I can be of help?" Tonowari offered brazenly.

Ronal huffs out through her nose, amused, "It would certainly get the job done faster."

Kayla hummed a tiny laugh, caught in the middle of the pair's playful banter, quite literally as Tonowari took a knee in front of her, leaning down awfully close to her as his hands reached for one side of Kayla's head. She sucks in a sharp, silent breath as she stays still for the clan leaders, Tonowari's hands easily the same size as her whole skull. As if knowing the intimidating size difference, Tonowari was careful with his large hands as he gently pulled and weaved the locks of her hair into small and tight braids. Using the beads Ronal initially took out of Kayla's hair, they return the small adornments to their rightful place, settling more comfortably in the woven locks that put Kayla's human hair to shame.

When Kayla was alone with Ronal, it was easy to hide how flustered she felt since she was facing away from the other woman, able to hide her face. Now, she was forced to notice the heat of both Ronal's and Tonowari's bodies, radiating on her back and her front, essentially trapping her as they silently worked on her hair as a team. She envied their teamwork but was enraptured by it at the same time, something warm in her belly making itself known as the thought of them working together to help her came to mind.

"Thank you."

Her voice felt so small in such a quiet, peaceful moment, unsure of where that gentle tone came from. She cleared her throat out of embarrassment while Tonowari pinned her down with a sweet, gentle smile,

"It is our pleasure."

She doesn't miss the heaviness of those words, whilst simultaneously feeling both of their breaths and bodies so close to hers as they braid her hair. Kayla could feel Ronal's knees pressed against her lower back while one of Tonowari's knees was pressed up against the outside of her thigh. Kayla has to purposely keep her tail wrapped around her own arm in fear that the appendage will betray her and reach out to them. To try and break the silence that lingered far past comfort, she opens her mouth and says the first thing that comes to mind,

"The last time my hair was braided was by Kiri and Tuk. They were trying to teach me how to properly do it myself while also sharing... a very detailed story of how their parents first mated." She snorts sharply.

Ronal hummed quietly to acknowledge her small story, the tsahik's breath gently ghosting small wisps of Kayla's hair as she spoke, "You sound as though the topic made you uncomfortable."

Kayla's nose scrunches up, "I don't know anyone who would want to hear about their brother's nocturnal activities."

"But the topic itself?"

"Uh..."

'Ah, Hell,' was the first thought that came to mind when she realized the type of topic she roped herself into, a topic she would rather share with almost anyone except the two large Na'vi practically trapping her between their bodies, "Sky People don't really talk so casually about that sort of thing."

Tonowari's eyes briefly glance down at her before returning to her hair, "Really?"

"I mean, the ones I hang out with are not as private. Soldiers are often crude that way, but back home it's considered too... gaudy? It's mostly talked about behind closed doors or with people you can trust, but not flat-out strangers. Unless that excites them, I guess. I don't know, everyone's different. But society as a whole back on Earth doesn't like talking about it in public."

Ronal's eyes meet her husband's for a long while, both of their hands simultaneously pausing in Kayla's hair, making her ears straighten in alertness. She was starting to wonder if she had said something wrong before Ronal's hands began to move once more, in sync with her own response, "The Na'vi believe that it is our sworn duty to share and teach just like everything else. We do not shy away from such discussions because we want our children to learn how to be careful and well-informed early on. To give them such responsibility at a young age tends to make them blossom into more mature, respectful adults."

"Huh," Kayla exclaims, mostly to herself, "That explains why Tuk didn't seem shy at all when she talked about it. Any child her age back on Earth would've been mortified."

Tonowari chuckled, finishing one braid before moving on to another clump of her hair, "The more you speak, the more you make sense to us, Makayla te Suli."

"... That sounds like it had two different meanings."

The olo'eyktan makes a deep noise in the back of his throat, eyes meeting Ronal's over the top of Kayla's head, "When you speak about how children are brought up among the Sky People, the more I understand why you do not react the way normal Na'vi do when presented with songcord beads, clothes, and other gifts."

She tries to smile hopefully, but her eyebrows scrunch together with uncertainty, "Is that... a bad thing?"

"No," he shakes his head with a fond, reassuring smile, "It just means we need to be more blunt."

Her stomach flips as though she is freediving from her ikran, her tail briefly twitching in her lap to show off her anxiety before she manages to pull it back under control. She swallowed thickly when her throat suddenly felt dry, her eyes darting away from Tonowari's before they could express something they shouldn't.

Ronal's voice was closer than before, the hairs on the back of Kayla's neck standing up when she felt the other woman breathe directly into her ear, "Do you wish to muntxa si, Makayla?"

She wanted to shy away from Ronal, to raise her shoulder up and pull her head down when the tsahik's close proximity proved to be too much for her nerves to handle. Both clan leaders have completely stopped braiding and have pulled their hands out of her hair, but didn't return their touch to themselves. Instead, their fingers lingered on Kayla, either brushing lightly over her shoulders and knees, places that they deemed respectful enough not to scare her away. When Kayla tries to take a deep breath in, she is suddenly aware of their scents, mixed together as one, invading her nose. She decided that she needed to breathe less, or else she'd go dizzy.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember what that means." Yes, she does, but she thought it almost sounded like a dream. She needed to outright hear it.

Ronal's amusement was evident in her voice even though Kayla couldn't see her, "Do you wish to mate?"

Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth even as she managed to pull through a proper response without giving too much of her inner thoughts away, "I don't think that's on the table for me anytime soon. Or ever."

"Why?"

"Why would it?"

"It could be. If you feel the same for us as we do for you."

"... What?" Kayla now looks directly over her shoulder, regretting it when her nose gently brushed against Ronal's, not realizing just how close the other woman sat behind her. Ronal's hairless brow rises expectedly, eyes shining with mirth and a certain youth Kayla has never seen in her before. For a moment, it reminded her of a giddy Tsireya.

Tonowari was not so easily forgotten either, one of his hands absently brushing some of the new braids over Kayla's shoulder, lingering at the juncture of her neck, causing more goosebumps to rise in his wake as she did her best not to shiver.

It felt as though her mind was running through a hundred thoughts per minute, that fatal organ in her chest betraying any sort of logical thinking trying to make its way into her brain. While Kayla may have looked composed -and a little surprised- on the outside, the inside was riddled with inner turmoil, parts of her body trying to fight for dominance in a nauseating dance. Parts of her blew up like fireworks, overjoyed and celebratory, while the rest of her was filled with anxiety, doubt, and the most unimaginable fear. She wanted to dispute Ronal's words; wanting to refuse and say she did not feel the same, no matter how painful it would be to lie. In her head, Kayla knew it would be for the best. She couldn't be involved with them-- involved in their beautiful lives and slice of paradise, no matter how badly she wanted to.

She wished she could bolt, but realized that these clan leaders were smart, purposely keeping her hostage under their undivided attention to her hair braids and beads, trapping her here underneath their eyes and their words.

"You must have noticed our attempt to court you," Tonowari stated with a knowing expression.

She thinly smiled before it quickly faded, as well as her eagerness to refuse them, "I have, but... I didn't want to assume. You told me to not come off as useless when we first met, so I just... I've just been trying my best to help you both out any way I can so that I'm doing my part for the village. I guess I assumed that you've had me helping you so you could keep an eye on me. "

Tonowari winced, regretting the words he spoke when they first met, knowing that it likely played into why Kayla wasn't as open to his and Ronal's courting, "You are vital to our village now, Makayla. You help this clan flourish and thrive through your kindness and determination. These are traits we admire about you, and it's why we always seek out your company. Not because we think you are useless and need a helping hand."

"But... I am not Metkayina. I am not even Omatikaya. You can deny it all you want, but I'm still one of the Sky People, a dreamwalker," she scoffs with a small look of disdain as she stares off to the side, "No one in their right mind would want to start a family with a demon."

Tonowari tilts his head, "Are you saying Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite is not of sound mind?"

"That's different," Kayla waves him off, "Jake is different. Jake fully completed his Iknimaya. He passed through the Eye of Eywa and returned, born again in his Na'vi body. He... He can't even be considered a dreamwalker anymore. He buried his demon body a long time ago. I'm not like Jake. I'm still tied to my demon form and my old way of life, a life I don't plan on trying to forget as easily as my brother. My people hate your people."

She then looks back over her shoulder at Ronal, "Up until recently, you hated my people."

"I still do," Ronal corrects, immediately softening her words when she notices shame flash over Kayla's eyes, "But I don't look at you and see the Sky People. I look at you and see Makayla te Suli tsmuke te Toruk Makto. You fought beside us to protect our children. You saved my life. You learned our ways. Your nephew lies with our ancestors. In the Eye of Eywa, you are now Her daughter, even if you still walk Her breast in a demon body."

Kayla's denial was stubborn and eager as she vehemently shook her head with defiance, "My demon body is why you shouldn't choose me as your mate, among so many other things. Unless you're ready to understand my way of life, I don't want to burden you with it. Try to remember that I can't always be here. I'll have to leave sometimes, and it could be weeks on end. It would be difficult being with me."

Her head movement stops the moment a hand the size of her skull gently rises and slips into place, resting on the side of her head. Kayla's eyes widened as Tonowari softly moved her head so that her gaze landed on his, silencing all of her rambling thoughts as she got lost in the blue oceans of his eyes. While he wasn't smiling, he was being genuine, showing his sincerity by speaking as clearly as he possibly could, his booming voice rattling in her head, "The best things in life are usually difficult, but that's why they are so rewarding."

Both of Ronal's hands move to rest on both of Kayla's shoulders now that the avatar's breath is taken away, unable to respond, "If you do not wish for us to pursue you, just say the word, and we'll stop."

That was surprising to Kayla and it got her voice to return, ears moving in all directions out of shock, "Really?"

"Yes," Tonowari assured with a stiff nod, "We would never force you to mate with us, knowing that once you do, it would be for life. But do not try to stop us if you're worried that we would only See a part of you, not all of you. We want to know you better, to understand the world you come from and how you came to be the woman you are today. We have discussed this in detail, and we agree that you are worth many obstacles that will no doubt be in our way."

At the mention of obstacles, a thought crossed her mind, "And that includes Spider, right?"

"Of course it does." He says this confidently, without hesitation.

"Does it?" Her own doubt is replaced with a small barrier of protection, eager to shield the child in her care as she finds herself sternly looking between the two clan leaders, "Because I don't want you to pretend and treat him normally if all you're going to see is a demon child. If you only pretend to See him just to be with me, then I can't accept this. He's my responsibility, and I intend on always putting the kid first from now on."

"We know..." Kayla's spine stiffened, not because of Ronal's words, but because of the tsahik's hand slowly running a soft, barely-there line down her back with the very tips of her fingers, "And we admire you for that. We want Spider in our lives as well."

Tonowari nods in agreement, "The boy is loyal to those who choose to love him and not to those who are simply related to him. He earns his respect and his place here in our village. He is also a child who deserves a family to properly care for him. The Na'vi don't believe in letting children fend for themselves. Even when they have no one left to care for them, the village as a whole makes sure that the child grows up loved. Spider should have been properly adopted by members of the Omatikaya clan ages ago."

"No kidding," Kayla muttered under her breath, a pang of anger beating in her chest, directed at everyone who wronged such a spirited, kind child.

But just like that, those thoughts went away, expunged from her mind at the faint touch of Ronal's hand moving down Kayla's arm. Kayla's fingers twitched with anticipation, but she didn't dare move even as Ronal's fingers slowly entwined with hers. Ronal's fingers move with precision and determination, hooking her smallest finger with Kayla's pinky, the strange extra finger that once disgusted her. Kayla tried to stay perfectly still while the tsahik's voice was still rough in her ear, "If you feel the same for us as we do for you, then say you will perform tsaheylu with us instead of trying to spare us from something you think is not worth fighting for. If you want to say no, then do so for the right reasons."

Kayla sucks in a sharp breath of air before shakily exhaling it out, trying to calm her racing heart. While their reassurances were nice to hear, there was still a sliver of doubt wedged in the back of her mind, smaller than before but still loud, not wanting to be ignored. It reminded her of all her insecurities and hardships that she still needed to work through, and despite Ronal and Tonowari's words, her doubt tried to beat her down and say that they would never be with her every step of the way. Deep down, she will never be one of them, so even if they stayed by her side... it won't be for long because, in the end, everyone always leaves her.

At the same time, her heart was screaming at her to say yes; to agree to everything they were saying because it's obviously all that she wants and more. A family. She never thought she'd gain such a thing by agreeing to learn the ways of the Na'vi. Then again... she didn't think she'd gain anything when she started learning the ways of the Na'vi, and yet here she was, owing it all to her new way of life for what the Metkayina clan leaders were offering her.

In the end, the Na'vi are precisely why she gave her answer as she took a deep breath, "I feel the same. I do. I feel the same for both of you... but I'm not ready. I want to do this right. I want to take this slow. I know I'm asking a lot... with the war coming and your baby on the way. But I want to officially become true Na'vi before anything else. I still haven't completed my Iknimaya. Every person is born twice, right? I have yet to be born a second time; to earn my place among the People forever. Tradition states that only then will I be able to choose a mate, right? You want to learn my ways, but I also want to learn yours. I want to do this right. Let me do this right."

They sat and listened to her, and in the end, wide smiles graced both of their faces. Neither of them appeared disappointed by Kayla's answer. In fact, they almost looked proud of her decision, the expressions on both of their faces would've easily made her knees weak had she been standing.

Ronal's hand squeezes hers, "We accept your terms, Makayla."

"Nothing would make us happier," Tonowari's hand moves, Kayla's ear flicking in the direction of the hand in question but otherwise doesn't acknowledge it. His hand slides off the side of her face, and while her skin now feels cool from where he once was, his fingers trail down the side of her neck and down her shoulder before gently grasping her arm, where his palm immediately warms up her skin once more. Kayla watched his face carefully, noting the way his eyes seemed to scan over her figure, causing a pleasant shiver to run up her spine, her heart giving no indication of slowing down. Finally, Tonowari's deep ocean eyes find her honey-colored ones, and she felt as though she was being sucked into the void as those same eyes started to inch closer and closer.

"May I?"

The breath he lets out with his question brushes over Kayla's chin, her mouth parting slightly as she tries to gain more air to slow her heart rate down. She didn't mean for her eyelashes to flutter, but she definitely caught Tonowari shamelessly watching the act and decided she wasn't ashamed either. She nods once, unable to form a word as he leans closer until she knows that the air she's breathing is his as well. Instinctively, she closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.

Her left ear twitched when Tonowari leaned into the side of her face with his, gently rubbing them together as he loudly inhaled a slow, long strain of air through his nose. Kayla opened her eyes, frowning out of curiosity. At first, she thought he was leaning in to kiss her, but it wasn't until Ronal had moved her newly braided hair off her shoulder and started to do the same to the right side of her face that something in her brain finally clicked.

Her nose was bombarded with a mixture of smells now beginning to seep into her skin-- their scents, blended together and with hers, as the way it should be. Kayla felt dizzy, as though their scenting had some sort of drugging effect, but in a desirable way that made her feel high, proud to be branded by these two beautiful Na'vi.

She almost lost her resolve then and there, wanting to forget what she said about waiting, but she managed to push through. Always resilient, but no longer when it came to her future mated pair.

A/N:

Jake: Don't judge my parenting until you become a parent yourself.

Kayla, about to adopt Spider, Ao'nung, Tsireya, and their unborn sibling: 'Aight. Bet.

#tsamsiyu ta'em fic #atwow fics #atwow fic #atwow fanfic #atwow fanfiction #tonowari x oc x ronal #tonowari #tonowari x ronal x oc #tonowari x ronal #ronal x tonowari #ronal #ronal x tonowari x oc #ronal x oc x tonowari #tonowari x oc #ronal x oc #adopted spider #adopted spider socorro #spider socorro

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nova--spark · 4 months

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Starting yet another post of angst today because this was on the backburner a while but

As I'm sure everyone's read my previous post of OP's Perma-Tear tracks on his face.

Well, I wanted to talk about Megatron today.

In the lore of TFP/Aligned, we see just how much anger and rage he has built up, and with how his frame is cracked, you would see immediately, as if it was battle damage right?

Well, I would like to state it to also be tear tracks.

Tears of rage, betrayal, anger and grief, to contrast the tears of sorrow, of sadness and melancholy that mark OP's face.

Because when you are wholly unrighteously angry, you do start to cry, I know I have in the past when pissed off to my breaking point.

And we even see, when he was just Megatronus, friend of Orion, he did not have those scars, those tears of rage.

[Got my Artbook out for this image specifically]

This warrior of Kaon, gladiator , warlord too walks with the scarred remnants of rageful tears on his face, as if they were scars of battle, that he makes no effort to hide.

The tears of a victim from an unjust system, of someone pushed too far to the point of madness blinded by a near uncurbed wrath.

And you see them marked a bit further, when noting his transformation by Unicron too, how more lines on his face look like dried tears.

Tears of sacrifice, that gave everything, and lost it all. Gained nothing but pain in the end, too blinded by anger and pride to find the solution before him all along.

#tfp megatron #transformers megatron #tfp megatronus #tfp #transformers prime #transformers #maccadam #maccadams #tf prime #nova writings

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intothegenshinworld · 3 months

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Some small headcanons for Xiao x Reader with the prompt: "Watching GaMing’s performance with a character of your choice" || WC: 350+

Shoutout to Orion/@chaoffee for being the best teammate I could've gotten <3 You're the GOAT www

As a vigilant Yaksha, XIAO hunts demons and the remnants of karmatic debt for the majority of the time.

You had always known that your friendship would be built on the few moments when he'd take a rest—going to Wangshuu inn to relax—the place where you met him and often found him when you needed him.

And as the time of the year came around, the festive spirit of Lantern Rite slowly began to reach Wangshu Inn as well. The owner of the place had hung up all kinds of decorations and the people would travel from here to the harbor where they'd celebrate the festival with their loved ones.

You knew that, despite his somewhat distant personality, Xiao adored this festival in his own way as well.

A few years back, he mentioned watching the lanterns being released, and ever since, you'd been trying to find the courage to ask the Adeptus to join you. (If not for yourself, then for him. That soft smile that broke free on his face when he talked about the lanterns, it's that happiness you wish him to experience again)

When you asked him on the roof of Wangshu Inn if he'd like to join you for a visit to Liyue Harbor, it took you some convincing to get him to agree.

And when he finally did, you decided to plan out your visit - wanting to make sure he'd get the best experience on his short break.

You were familiar with Gaming. You'd seen him perform a few times in the past, and thus decided to drag Xiao to one of his performances before the lanterns—or kites—would fill the sky.

From a distance—not wanting to be surrounded by people—Xiao stood by your side as he watched Gaming dance, jumping from side to side, skillfully and captivating the entire audience—including the Adeptus.

During the performance, you saw how focused Xiao seemed. His shoulders relaxed, if only for a short while, and his mind drifted away from his burdens.

For the first time in a while, he seemed to be happy and content

#the dragon dances not through rain and tide #xiao x reader #no more tags needed - this is so small www

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metalomagnetic · 3 months

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Snippet

This is from the unpublished Orion/Walburga that I wrote and shared from a couple of weeks ago. A small interaction between Walburga and Tom.

It happens in It Runs in the blood universe.

---

Wanting to feel in control, to humiliate someone the way her own family humiliates her, she goes to Borgin and Burkes; her favourite past time. She’ll never tire of mocking Riddle, shop boy extraordinaire.

He always takes whatever she throws at him, because he has no choice, not with the way Burke fawns over her as soon as she’s through the doors, offering her coffee, tea, ‘anything you would like, Miss, as you look around. Tom, make Miss Black a cup of tea!’.

Walburga likes to stay there for at least half an hour, making Riddle show her all sorts of things, sending him to the back room for special items, and then refusing them. She always buys something, however, only so she can have the oportunity to tip Riddle. It’s the only time his pleasant facade cracks, a murderous look in his eyes, as she throws him an extra galleon.

It never really gets old, no matter how many times she does it.

“I must say, Riddle, you certainly made it in life; I didn’t expect you to get so far,” she says, as he packs her latest purchase that she’ll throw in the trash as soon as she’s out of the crappy shop. “This is a wonderful use of your fourteen N.E.W.Ts.” She smirks. “If you keep pleasing me, I might be persuaded to talk to Father, make a favoruable recomendation for you- we have some abraxans at our country manor, and we are in need of a stable boy, you see.”

A muscle twitches in that annoyingly handsome face of his; a mudblood has no right to bear those aristocratic features.

However, this time, when she tips him, he smiles.

That’s wrong, she thinks. He should get upset. He always does.

Instead, he reaches under the counter and pulls out a small, wrapped box.

“Since you are always so generous,” he says. “Please, allow me to congratulate you for your bethrotal. What a wonderful use for your seven N.W.T.S. I’m sure they will prove of much use in bringing new Black children into the world. I seem to remember Orion saying he wants five sons, when we were in school. May Morgana bless you with twice as many.”

She spits on him. How dare he, the stupid mudblood!?

“You honour me,” he says, wiping the spit off with a perfectly ironed handkerchief, as freakishly neat as he is. “But you should keep your bodily fluids only for your future husband. Rumour goes he is quite jealous; he wouldn’t want to hear you shared that with a lowly shop boy. Merlin forbid, he might have to reprimand you for it.”

She curses him, but he doges it, quick as a kneazle. She knows he can best her in a duel, but he wouldn’t dare, of course. He never retaliated back at school when she threw curses at him, because he must have known her family would have his head on a spike if he disturbed one hair on her head.

#it runs in the blood #Tom Riddle #Walburga Black

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in1-nutshell · 3 months

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Hey it's me again can you do more old predacon archivist buddy how would team prime and maybe arachnid react to them Even though they are the archivist they still know how to fight (mostly using their famous gladiator moves and they're trusty sword) They might give some of the younger members of team prime some pointers while fighting (Even though they don't really want to fight the younger bots They would most likely just want to Read them stories or give them wisdom because they have them old grandpa vibes lol but they will not hesitate to throw hands if needed)

Old Predacon Buddy is back!

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy the old Predacon archivist helping Team Prime with fighting with Smokescreen, Ultra Magnus, and Wheeljack

SFW, Platonic, Cybertronain reader

TFP

Buddy had enough.

As soon as they heard about the incident about the Predacon’s being irradiated by the Autobots, they grew suspicious.

There was no way Optimus Prime would agree to this… but the Wreckers did have a history of being gruesome in battle. But even they had limits!

Then it came to the matter of location.

Only a few Decepticon’s knew where Shockwave’s lab was located. All being higher ranking officers… high ranking officers like Starscream…

After using their archiving skills to do some digging, they found a video of Starscream and Megatron talking about the eradication of the Predacons by setting up the Wreckers to find it and having Predaking go after them.

They tried to talk to Predaking about this, but he was too furious to even consider anything.

The next day Buddy left the Nemesis and flew to find the Autobots.

If Preaking wasn’t going to listen to them, the best they could do was warn the Autobots, perhaps giving them an edge.

They aren’t exactly greeted with open arms, as expected. After a few hours of interrogation and convincing, Buddy is allowed to help Team Prime.

Ultra Magnus

Magnus was the first to offer to train with Buddy.

Despite every single fiber in his being telling him to run the other direction.

While they sparred Buddy would often make comments on his stance and how to better himself.

He wouldn’t admit it, but a cold chill ran down his spinal struts when it was time to spar with Buddy in their beast form.

He took notice early on that Buddy would purposely avoid the prosthetic servo as much as they could.

“Why do you do that?”--Magnus

“Do what?”--Buddy

“You keep avoiding this side. Predaking is not going to only go for one side. You must fight me on both!”--Magnus

“… If that is what you want.”--Buddy

“Yes.”--Magnus

“Very well… and I am sorry for Predaking’s actions. It was uncalled for as an act of rage.”--Buddy

“…You didn’t have anything to do with it… but thank you.”--Magnus

“Hmm… Now let us continue.”--Buddy

“Let us.”--Magnus

He was rather surprised at the compliments he received from Buddy after training sessions.

He is a bit surprised hearing about Buddy’s field of expertise but he understands that they like different things other than fighting all the time.

Ultra Magnus has caught Buddy telling stories of Cybertron’s past to the humans on base.

He acts like he isn’t listening in, but he is.

Smokescreen

Smokescreen wanted to be the first one to spar with Buddy, but Magnus got there first.

He is just excited to potentially ride the dragon.

He isn’t present for Magnus’s training, so he has no idea what to expect.

When it is his time, he completely underestimates Buddy by their age and gets destroyed in a sparring match.

“I heard a huge ‘BANG’! Is everything okay?”--Jack

Smokescreen on the ground while Buddy in their Predacon form laying down on him.

“…”--Jack

“He is fine.”--Buddy

“Help… me…”--Smokescreen

“You’re fine.”--Buddy

Buddy has patience with this bot and gives him tips for his fighting style and compliments him when he is done with the match.

He is extremely surprised when he learns about Buddy’s field. But then again, Optimus, before as Orion Pax, was an archivist himself…

Once Smokescreen finds out that Buddy has stories to tell, he joins the group and sits down to listen. His favorite ones are from Buddy’s ‘glory days’ and myths.

Wheeljack

Wheeljack is watching like a hawk over the training sparring sessions.

He doesn’t trust Buddy too much.

When it’s his turn, he holds nothing back.

But to his surprise Buddy is quick to disarm him and pin him to the ground.

“Why you little—”--Wheeljack

“Language Wheeljack, there are children present.”--Buddy

“Its just Miko, Smokescreen and Ratchet.”--Wheeljack

“Exactly, children! And second, your stance is still off.”--Buddy

“My stance is—wait did you just call Ratchet a child? I understand Miko and Smokescreen, but ratchet is older than all of us on the team.”--Wheeljack

“…”--Buddy

“…How old are you?”--Wheeljack

“…Its best if you don’t know kid.”--Buddy

Wheeljack ignores many of Buddy’s tips at first, until he decides to try one of them one day and see what happened.

He was surprised that the tip was useful.

He began to listen to Buddy’s advice a bit more after that.

As surprised as he is hearing about Buddy’s field, he can to a point understand it.

Being a scientist and Wrecker don’t exactly go hand in hand, but he makes it work.

The same went for Buddy.

Often listens in on Buddy’s stories when they talk to the kids.

If Wheeljack has time, he’ll join in for a bit to listen.

#transformers #transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfp #tfp x reader #tfp smokescreen #tfp smokescreen x platonic reader #tfp ultra magnus #tfp wheeljack #tfp ultra magnus x platonic reader

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seungmoonandstars · 2 months

Text

𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝐼 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹

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Kim Seungmin/noona reader

wc: 5.9k

rating: angst/mature/18+ ಇ (idiots trying to get to lovers/mutual pining)

contains: drinking/drunkiness, implied mental illness, medication mention, weight mention

comments: Part two of this noona fic request. Not sure how much interest there is in this (there's more, because I love writing it and I needed some angst), but let me know if you guys like it!

songs to listen to while reading: orion sun - intro // chloe george - when does it get good

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Seungmin feels around in the dark, and he knows at any moment, he’s going to trip. The layout of your apartment is still foreign to him, but he likes it here, and he wants to get used to being here. It’s a welcome change from the dorm—there it's usually a mess. It smells, it tends to get loud at the worst moments, and the worst part of all is that you’re not there. Ever.

He’s a bit embarrassed of the place, even though his room is usually clean and ready for company. It’s better here, though. It’s always quiet, and warm, and it smells like vanilla and coffee, even now, in the middle of the night.

As much as he wanted to keep things between the two of you, for now, it did not work. Seungmin came home very late the night after he confessed (and you confessed), so it was easy for everyone to figure out. Still, though, he hasn’t talked much about it in the three days since. And now, somehow, he’s ended up at your apartment, and it’s well past midnight.

You fell asleep on the couch watching a movie, tucked against his side, and he shook you awake eventually.

“Time to get to bed, yeah?” He said, and he gave you a few more minutes to collect yourself before helping you up. Then he guided you into the bedroom, but he just stood there at the door for a moment, watching, waiting until you turned to him and smiled.

“Goodnight”

“You’re leaving?” You check the time on your phone. It's late.

“Yeah, I should go,” his heartbeat picks up a little as he casually looks around your room. This is his first time seeing it., and Seungmin thinks to himself how very you it is—the colors, the mix of adult and not-so-adult, pages from magazines and photobooks pinned to a corkboard next to very important looking things. He sees his face pinned there as well; a closeup of him, ripped neatly from the Noeasy photobook. No, two photos of him...three.

“Okay. You don’t have to, but…” you think, look around, look back at him, “text me when you get home, okay?”

“I will”

He clicks the hall light off as he makes his way toward the door, and with the glow of the tv gone, it’s suddenly very, very dark. The light of his phone helps, but he hits his foot on the coffee table, of course, and then he finally grabs his bag. Luckily it takes him a few extra minutes to fight into his shoes, because a text comes through just as he goes for the door.

don’t leave yet

Seungmin looks toward your bedroom door and waits. One, two, three seconds. It swings open, and you leave it there so the light pours out and illuminates him.

“Did I forget something?”

You stop in front of him and nod, “I did,” and grab the front of his shirt to pull him down. You kiss, and he kisses right back. And then you let go. “Can I ask what’s in your backpack?”

“Huh? My…oh my bag. Just my usual stuff, uhm, it’s silly. Sometimes I feel like I’ll be pulled away when I have no time to pack, so I always carry something with me.”

“So that's your overnight bag?”

“I guess. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea...if it’s the wrong idea. I wasn’t expecting something to happen, I promise.”

“Seungmin, it’s okay. I just came out to kiss you goodnight, not question your motives.” You pull him to you again and kiss. “And you’re welcome to spend the night—on the couch, or in my bed. Preferably in my bed. But wherever you’re comfortable.”

His laugh is so nervous, and he hates it, “maybe next time?”

“Of course. I’m leaving for a while tomorrow, but I’ll let you know when I get home.”

“Will you be gone long?”

“No, a week at the most”

“A week. Okay, that’s not bad. If I’m home when you get back., we can do something.”

“Right, you might not be here”

You stare at each other silently, maybe hoping to read each other’s mind. You might not see him for a while and that was hard enough when you were just friends, pining endlessly. Now you’ve touched him and kissed him, and you need more time to do those things.

“I might be, though”

“Goodnight, Minnie”

This time he kisses you himself.

─ ⋅⋅ ─

“I’m not surprised…but at the same time I’m a little surprised,” Felix scratches his head. He’s watching Seungmin cross the kitchen to fill his glass with water.

He doesn’t notice everyone staring at him until he turns toward the coffee maker. “What?”

“Surprised why?” Minho cups his chin in his hand and smiles at both of them.

“How was your date last night, kid?”

"Date?" Minho jumps and grins at Seungmin.

“We just watched a movie, it was good. She’s leaving today so I won’t see her for a while.”

“Oh no, that’s no good. So—“

“What are you surprised about?!” Minho slap his palm on the table, “Yongbok!”

“I’m getting there!”

“You’ve never been to her place before, right? What brought that on…a movie at her apartment?”

Seungmin is making his coffee, patiently, and looking at his roommate as he takes his time getting to the point. But Felix waits as he makes his way to the table with them to press on.

“You never really told us what happened the other night. You two just disappeared.”

“Oh, we went to her place, so we could be alone…”

The three of them OH in unison, because Jeongin turns the corner just in time. Minho is still confused, and nobody seems to want to elaborate for him. All four of them here at the same doesn’t happen often, so Seungmin is feeling a little crowded

“…to talk.”

“Ooh,” Jeongin smiles, “and? Did you talk last night, too?”

“Not much, no”

Their eyes grow as they wait for more, but now Seungmin is having too much fun stringing them a long.

“Please continue”

“There’s nothing else,” he shrugs, “we drank a little, watched a movie, we both dozed off for a while, I think…no,” Seungmin throws a hand up when Felix' mouth turns up into a smirk. “It was a long movie, nothing else happened.”

“Did you kiss?” Jeongin leans closer and whispers, “you kissed, yeah?”

Seungmin can’t help but smile when he asks. He can feel his face grow warm just thinking about it. Last night, and then your first kiss. That one got much heavier than he expected, and he loved every second—the touching, your tongue, your fingers running through his hair. He doesn’t want to wait a week for more, but he’s not going to chase after you now. He has to be patient, again.

“You should have spent the night"

─ ⋅⋅ ─

You sit across from each other in the cafeteria, just like you’ve done a dozen times before. It’s not busy, not even at lunchtime, but looking up at him for too long is making your heart race. It’s not that you’re afraid someone will walk by and read your mind (but if they did, they might be disgusted), it just feels different being with him in public now.

It feels like you’re both doing something a little bit wrong.

Seungmin is a young idol, and he’s sweet and kind and innocent, as far as everyone knows. You’ve already seen his unfiltered self, and it’s better than any act he’s had to put on. But he is still sweet and kind and…you assume a little innocent. You’ve never talked about your sex lives, ever.

You look up at him and lock eyes. He smiles, and you can’t help but start undressing him. Yes, you’ve touched him, finally. His thigh—he let you run your hand from his knee and up you went until you knew it was time to stop—his neck, his shoulder, his face…but there’s still so much of him to touch and see. The part of your mind that you can't keep quiet is afraid there won't be many more oppurtunities.

You have to close your eyes and relax.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, just thinking. Over-thinking.”

He smiles again, and you start to wonder if he’s doing it because he’s nervous.

“About us?”

Us? That’s a much bigger word than it was a few days ago. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Good things?”

Good things, yes. As long as you stay focused, there's nothing to think about when it comes to him except for good things. “Yeah, of course.”

“How is your lunch? Spicy enough?”

“Is my face red?”

“A little, yes”

“No spice today, so it’s you doing that.”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

What if he stays too late tonight, again? He doesn’t want to run off at the first mention of spending the night, because he wants to stay here with you. There was no expectation of it when you asked last time, he assumes, because he can sleep wherever he wants; he can do whatever he wants. And you wouldn’t pressure him anyway. He knows you better than that.

He knows nothing about your sex life, though. And almost nothing about your dating life.

Seungmin doesn’t really know much about either of those things when it comes to himself, actually. There was never much time to date, or it was low on the list. And having sex without at least dating someone doesn’t sit well with him.

But he has been on dates, and he has kissed, and touched, and he’s been touched right back. But that’s all. No sex—that blowjob didn’t count—it was awkward, and it wasn’t very good. And as hard as he tries, he can't forget his first time trying to find a clit.

“Do you want a drink?” You shake his arm until he finally seems to hear you, “drink…beer, coke, coffee?”

“Soju?”

“I have strawberry and peach”

“Strawberry somaek?”

You disappear into the fridge and dig around, and Seungmin watches carefully when you bend forward. He’s always admired your body, though it never had much to do with him liking you the way he did. But now, he feels like it’s okay to appreciate it more. You’re shorter than him, and curvier (which doesn’t take much, seeing as how Seungmin is basically a straight line). Your ass and thighs are an eyeful for him, though.

Everything looks soft. Everything is soft, because he did sneak his hand there that first night. He squeezed his fingers right above your knee, then moved up ever so slightly to get some thigh. He didn’t dare go any further, though.

The touching you did the second time was much more innocent—holding hands, fingers laced together, your head against his shoulder as you fell asleep. He looked you over carefully, but kept his hands to himself, only daring to run a thumb over your wrist as you dozed off.

“Would you like to pour, or do you trust me?”

Seungmin snaps out of it. He’s pretty sure you caught him staring. “I trust you.”

“Can you grab the glasses for me?”

He does, and he follows you back to the living room and makes himself comfortable at the coffee table. And now that he’s started, he can’t take his eyes off of you as you move.

“That’s…oh okay we have different pours,” Seungmin eyes the glass, but you pull it toward yourself. “That’s much more soju than I usually do.”

You pour his now, but only fill the glass a third of the way before topping it off with the beer.

“I thought maybe you were trying to soften me up.” His breath catches in his chest when he says it, because it sounded much more stupid than it did in his head.

“No, trying to soften myself up, actually.”

“Why? You can’t get drunk without me,” the frown he gives you is over the top and very cute. “I don’t want you to fall asleep too early.”

“I’ll be careful”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

Seungmin feels good after two glasses. It’s not much, but he hasn’t eaten recently, and he’s pretty certain his second drink was identical to yours.

You’re halfway through your third.

“These are too easy to drink.” You sit at the table with a dish of mandu and dakgangjeong. “And I’m guessing you’re hungry.”

“I usually am.” He leans forward and smells the chicken, “did you make all this.

You shake your head, “I’m not the best at cooking. I wish I had more time to practice.”

“That’s okay. Thank you for feeding me, and getting me tipsy.” He grabs a piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. And then a dumpling. And then finishes off his third somaek.

“You can’t be tipsy yet”

“I will be if I have another”

Seungmin does have another. And the for his next drink, he switches to straight beer—but he’s drunk. He picks up his chopsticks and grabs for a dumpling, but it slips off and bounces onto the table.

Both of you just stare at for a long moment. And then Seungmin giggles as he tries again. This time it makes it to his mouth.

“Where you going?”

He’s slowly getting to his feet, and he stands for a minutes to get his head straight.

“Bathroom”

“Good idea”

“Are you joining me?”

You stop halfway onto your feet and look up at him, his hand is outstretched like he’s welcoming the company, “ah…you first.”

It’s very obvious he had a bit too much. And you did, too, but you’re working hard to keep yourself together. When you walk back out from the bathroom, Seungmin is standing up, staring at the tv, and the rest of the chicken is making its way into his mouth. He looks comfortable and satisfied—drunk, yes…but happy.

It makes you warm up even more, and you can’t remember the last time you felt so good.

“Hey”

“Hi…hello, do you feel better? Do you want the last few pieces?” He holds some out to you, but it disappears into his mouth as soon as you shake your head. “We should sober up.”

Yes, you should. You sit on the couch and curl yourself up into a ball, but when he sits next to you, your limbs develop a mind of their own. Before you can stop yourself, you slide your arms around his waist and hold yourself tight against him. Your leg drapes over his lap, and you’re practically straddling his thighs. He takes it in stride, though. Seungmin holds you right back and takes the opportunity to slide a hand across your hip, and when he squeezes, you jump.

“Sorry”

“Mm mm, no…it’s good. Feels good.”

“It does?”

“Yeah, you’re so warm”

“I think that’s the alcohol”

“Maybe…maybe, but you always—“ you stop and start to giggle, and you shove your face into his shirt to try to stifle yourself.

“Always what?”

You shake your head against him, push harder against his chest, take in his scent…feel yourself becoming even more drunk. “Nothing.”

His hand slides back up and settles on your hip, “always something good, hopefully.”

“Sorry, my head is swimming.”

“Mine too”

“I was hoping the alcohol would help, but you’re making me so nervous.”

“You’re nervous? I’m making you nervous?”

“Yeah, maybe telling you will make it go away."

“I’m also nervous. I wasn’t the last time I was here…so maybe the drinks are working against us.”

You force yourself to look up at him, and he looks down at you with big, heavy eyes. Your gaze drops and takes in every bit of him—his cheeks, his nose, his lips…his lips. He wets them and a smile pulls at his mouth, and you desperately want him to lean down closer to you. Every part of you is screaming for him, but you’re still frozen.

He’s frozen, too. The booze just made both of you stupid.

“Seungmin?” You’ve never, not even as a teenager, felt so stupidly in love with someone.

“Yeah?”

The longer you watch him, the closer he seems to get, and you see every little detail, every little spot, every little perfect blemish and pore on his skin.

“Kiss me before I explode”

His lips press into yours and his fingers squeeze so hard again. You want him to hold you tighter still, and you need to be closer. He does. Seungmin moves you until you’re on his lap, and he devours you. He’s all tongue, and it’s wet and messy, not like his previous kisses, but it’s so good tasting him, and tasting the entire night on him.

Then he stops suddenly to catch his breath, but he stays there and bites down lightly on your bottom lip. Your eyes open, and he’s right there, staring. He pulls back, looks at the space between your thighs, and there’s not much there. If you let yourself relax a little more, you’d feel his dick growing in his sweatpants.

But you can see it. You’re no longer frozen, so you shake the thought of what’s between his legs out of your head, for now. Both of you are way too fucked up for the first time. What you do need to do is kiss him again, so you take over, squeeze his shoulders and hold him steady while you lick across his parted lips. Seungmin opens up for you and he moans into the kiss—moans right down your throat.

You shake your head, “we should stop until we’re, um…I don’t wanna do this drunk.”

“I don’t either,” he keeps kissing, but slows down and softens his touch. His hands move to your waist, and then your back, where they stay.

“But don’t leave tonight”

“I won’t”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

Seungmin watches you from his side of your bed. He did fall asleep for a while, but he woke from a dream and forgot for a few moments where he was. His racing heart beat against the mattress as he looked toward you, facing away from him, shirt pulled halfway up your back. You kicked the covers off in your sleep—probably too warm from sobering up, but so deeply asleep. Still, he reaches out and runs two fingers down the skin that’s peeking out.

You move ever so slightly, and mumble something. He looks at the time: just after 4am. You’ve been asleep for about three hours, because both of you were out as soon as you hit the bed.

But Seungmin feels better. Less drunk, at least. His head aches a little, but not enough to bother him. He reaches out again, but this time he pulls at your shirt until you’re covered.

“Minnie”

“I’m up, you feel okay?”

You mumble again, and groan, but you don’t answer.

“Minnie…hmmm, don’t leave”

“Hey,” he crawls closer and runs a hand down your arm, “hey, oh you’re still asleep.”

You wake up when you feel his lips on your shoulder. “Min?”

“Are you up or talking in your sleep?”

“I’m up…oh no, what did I say?” You turn onto your back and grab his hand. “I don’t do that all the time.”

“Just my name”

“Oh”

“And you told me not to leave,” he squeezes your hand and searches for the soberness in your eyes, “I’m still here.”

“Sorry, I don’t usually speak so clearly”

The sleep-talking doesn’t phase him. In fact, the quietness of the room is a welcome change to his typical nights. The whole night, drunk as you both were, was quiet and calm. “Were you thinking about me in your sleep?”

“I must have been,” you move his hair away from his eyes, and now you’re searching for any leftover drunkenness. He seems wide awake and sober.

“It’s 4 in the morning, if you’re still tired…we can go back to sleep.” That’s not what he wants, but he also wants what you want. Seungmin figured you’d get into bed and both of you would sleep soundly until morning. But he woke up.

“No, I feel good. And you look good.”

The truth is, you are very tired. If you close your eyes right now, you have no doubt that you would fall back to sleep almost immediately. Instead you rip off the rest of the blanket and sit up.

“Where are you going?”

He watches you stand slowly, carefully, just in case. But your legs work just fine. Maybe Seungmin can change that. The thought sends a little wave a pleasure through you, and you smile when you turn to look at him, “bathroom.”

That is what you do, but you dig through the drawer under the sink as well. You didnt prepare properly, because you didn’t double check to see if you still had condoms, and if they were still good.

“Oh good,” you grab the half used pack and look closely at the date stamped on the bottom, "lucky.” But you make the mistake of looking at yourself in the mirror, and your reflection feels like it's a mile away. Your eyes blur, and the room spins for a moment.

A perfectly timed knock on the door makes you jump, and the box slips from your hand.

“Are you okay? I gotta go, too.”

“Yeah, Minnie, I’m coming,” you pick them up and palm them as you head for the door, “sorry, go ahead.”

Seungmin whistles as he returns and quietly shuts the door, “so are you…out?” He holds up the empty box and shakes it. “You left the drawer open.”

“Oh, no no,” you grab the condoms from your bedside table and show them to him, “we have two.”

He pulls one from your fingers and examines it for a moment, “I don’t think these will fit.”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

It’s stupid, and it’s reckless, and you know it. But it’s not going to stop you. From the moment he said the condoms—the only condoms either of you had, wouldn’t work, you tossed it back onto the table, looked up at him, “okay,” and grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants until he was right in your face.

“Okay” He sets his down, too. “Are you…” he groans when you find a good spot on his stomach, and he laughs when you graze your lips across his skin.

Every time you get back to his belly button, you tug a little more. His sweatpants start to tent, and you’re starting to feel exactly how much he wouldn’t fit into those condoms. One more tug, and you can see him—the stiff base of his cock, held still by the grip of your fingers.

He’s so hot against the fabric, and a wet spot of pre-cum starts to come through as you stroke him.

“I’m not surprised you like to tease,” he smiles down at you, but he’s blushing…everywhere. His cheeks, his ears, his neck. When he pulls his shirt over his head, he’s flushed all the way down to where your lips are.

Seungmin is just as lean under all those clothes as you imagined, and his shoulders…

“Turn around”

“Huh…turn?”

You stand and grab his hips, “yeah, turn around for me.”

He listens and peeks back at you the best he can—until your hands move from his hips, slowly upward, touching every bit of skin you can—across his shoulder blades, back down his spine.

The sigh he lets out is so content and relaxed, it actually puts you more at ease. He laughs sweetly when your lips touch him. “I like your teasing.”

Seungmin turns back to face you, and your fingers slide across him as he moves.

“Just admiring you." Yes, you are admiring him. Touching him, finally, is doing more for you than anything else possibly could. But every step forward now is taking all of your energy.

“Admiring? Me?” He cups your cheek and lifts until you’re looking at him, then pulls you close.

It’s sweet and it’s perfect, and you melt into him, but now you’re so distracted by his dick pressing against you. You push your hips in until he groans, slide your hands under his waistband.

Seungmin grabs back, and squeezes your ass. “Let me see you.” He pulls your shirt up and over your head before you can react, but you fold your arms over yourself before pressing back into him.

“Ah…I’m sorry, too fast?” His hands keep you against him. He holds so tight, you couldn’t escape even if you wanted to. “I should have let you do that.”

“No, I just—“

“I didn’t think you’d be shy”

A shiver runs through you when his hands move down your back, then back up.

“How about we…” he scoots closer to the lamp, keeping hold of you, and clicks it off. “Is that better?”

“Maybe,” you laugh, but it’s hesitant, a little edgy. “You’re too perfect, Minnie and…ah, I don’t know what's going on, I’m nothing special.”

“No, you're very special. What’s the matter?”

You relax a a little in his arms.

“I’m not perfect, not even close. You haven’t seen me after rolling out of bed at noon, or grumpy when my mouth hurts after getting these things tightened.”

You whine his name. You’re ruining the moment. Him comforting your sudden stupid thoughts and doubts—he’s probably already getting soft. “I’m sorry, I’m making a mess of everything. I'm not sure what happened.”

“Mm, no…you haven’t made a mess of anything.” Seungmin grabs your shirt from the edge of the bed and slips it back on you, “it's okay, we can get back under the covers if you’d like.”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

“Give me your hand”

Seungmin holds it up to you, then sets it in yours.

Back under the covers is where you end up, and you really do feel like a tease now. Poor Seungmin—his dick doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, but right now, you know he’s definitely not hard. You've ruined that.

“You think I’m perfect…can I think you’re perfect?” he lets go of your hand and runs his up your arm.

“No, I’m a mess. My skin, my hair is a mess. I’m getting chubby because I never watch what I eat. I don’t know why you’re here.”

“Because I want to be here. Because you brought me here and made me feel like I was yours."

“I was so high off of your words before. I thought I was dreaming when we were talking after dance practice.”

Seungmin moves closer, and now you’re sharing a pillow, and you breathe in every sigh he breathes out. His hand is moving so slowly over you, and he’s being so patient as it finds the curve of your hip and slides under the bottom of your shirt. “You’re not a mess.” He’s touching you and kneading his fingers into your side. Into your back. He works his way up and drags his fingertips up to your throat. “And they weren’t just words.”

How could you possibly deny him, looking at you like this? You shouldn’t, but your brain is telling you it will never work; it’s a waste of time. He’s going to really see you, and change his mind—he’ll find out how bad you are at this, and how emotional and unbearable you get when you do. It’s too much for him.

Still, his touch is as soft as his eyes, and he moves even closer until his leg can slide over yours.

“No, I don’t deserve you”

He isn’t sure how to reply to that, so he just stares. Maybe he’s waiting for you to crack a smile, or laugh it off, but you don’t. “Why would you say that?”

“You can do so much better than me, I promise.” You get as far as sitting yourself up, and your head pounds against your eyes. The alcohol is catching up to you and turning into a hangover already. “I shouldn’t have let it get this far, I’ve been stupid.”

“What are you saying?” Seungmin grabs your arm as you shift to get out of bed. His head is pounding now, too, because he's trying to figure out what went wrong and where he fucked up. “I can go if that’s really what you want, but give me a minute.”

You struggle with a response. You don’t want him to leave, but he should. And if he does, it might be the end of something that didn’t even begin. “A minute…for what?”

“To say something”

“Right, I’m sorry”

“I meant everything I said before, even if I didn’t say much. But you knew what I was thinking.” He lets go of your arm, because you seem to have relaxed. You’ve settled back in your spot, under the covers, back against the pillows. “I want you, and you want me…I think. And I need you around, I know that much. If I leave, will we go back to how we were before?”

There’s a long silence. You’re not sure if he wants an answer to that, but you don’t want to think too hard about it. Maybe, eventually, the memory of this can pass and you can be friends again.

“I don't want to go back to that. Not after this,” he answers himself. “So…”

Seungmin throws the covers off of himself, puts his feet on the cold floor, and then waits a few seconds before standing. It takes a moment to find his shirt, but he does and throws it on, and the entire time you watch him so intensely. But you stay quiet.

He knows you’re watching, and he takes his time, hoping you’ll stop him as he goes for the door. But you don’t.

And he anxiously waits for his phone to buzz after he grabs it from the coffee table. The empty bottles and glasses—the mess from the food scattered everywhere—Seungmin stares at it, waiting for a text that won’t come, and he decides he won’t leave yet. Instead he starts to clean.

─ ⋅⋅ ─

You’re stuck in your spot on the bed, phone now in hand, and you stare at the messages you’ve shared over the last week—to prove yourself wrong, maybe. Or just to make yourself feel worse. You couldn’t possibly feel any worse right now, though. Seungmin is still here; his scent lingers, and the feeling of his touch. But he left. You kicked him out, and deep down, you know you don’t want to subject him to whatever the future might hold. This isn’t possible, and thinking it could be was both of you just being struck dumb with lust. And maybe love.

You’ll be back tomorrow morning, right? I get my days mixed up sometimes, especially when I’m home for a while. Do you get like that? Maybe my memory is going already, haha I’ll be around if you’re free, so I hope you are. I can’t wait to see you again.

Seungmin is a good texter. He’s thoughtful and sincere, and he seems to choose his words carefully, as if he’s speaking to you face to face. That, or he just closes his eyes and types everything he feels. That wouldn’t surprise you.

I hope texting you so soon isn’t weird. No, it’s you! It’s not weird, or if it is that makes it normal for us. I hope you feel as good as I do. Good night ♥️

You pull the covers up to your chin and try to get comfortable. But you can’t take your eyes off the string of messages.

I practiced your song today! It might take a little more work to get it to sound good with my vocals. Maybe I need your input. But I’d rather surprise you!

He’s probably been working on it all week, and here you almost forgot about it. Before he sent this text, you didn’t know if he was serious, or it was just his opening line.

The sound of glasses clinking together echoes into the bedroom, and your heart pounds wildly. Then the pounding in your head starts up again, and for some reason you choose now to start crying. The tears start to brim, and you try desperately to keep them from going any further.

The sound of water running gets you out of bed fast, and you walk slowly to the bedroom door. You can see the kitchen light on through the crack, and the shadow of movement is there, too. His backpack is untouched at the end of the couch, and when you walk out to the hallway, you see his shoes next to yours. He’s washing the dishes and cleaning up the mess the two of you made.

“Seungmin”

He jumps and almost drops the glass.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh,” he sighs, “I didn’t want you to have to clean all this up in the morning. I’m sorry, I’m done.” He grabs his backpack and heads for the door. “Get some sleep before the sun comes up.”

One shoe is on, the other is halfway there as he stares at you. “Are you crying?”

You wipe at your cheek and feel what you couldn’t hold back.

Seungmin kicks his shoes off again and hesitates for a moment, but eventually, when you don’t speak, he closes the space between you. “You’re crying,” he takes your cheeks in his hands. “Please…if you won’t talk to me now, please call me tomorrow. Or text, I don’t care. Tell me you still feel the same as you do right now, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Stop it,” you squeeze your eyes shut and feel more tears escape. Seungmin’s warm embrace, his arms holding tight around your shoulders, it makes everything else fall away.

“Stop what?”

“Being so good, and patient, and calm. You should’ve run off by now”

“Why are you so hard on yourself? You think you should be punished for…yes, I remember you saying that…for what? I know you want this.”

All you can manage is a mumble against his chest.

He relaxes his arms and grips your waist, “what did you say?”

“I do”

“Want this? Or think you should be punished?”

More silence from you, but he waits.

“I’ll leave. And I hope I hear from you tomorrow.”

He lets go, and manages to get into his shoes before you say his name. As fed up as he should be hearing his name again, he’s not. Seungmin looks at you with hopeful, tired eyes.

“Yeah?” He watches you closely, tilts his head to the side. You can see his eyes moving up and down over your body, "tell me I can stay.”

Your legs shake and your head swims. The ache behind your eyes is growing worse and worse, but looking at him makes it bearable, somehow. Even now, he’s ready to run to you as soon as you say go. But you can’t figure out why.

Seungmin is still who he is, and you’re who you are, and you don’t really belong together. Someone will find out and put a stop to it. But what if things slowly start to connect; fall into place; work out for a while? Forever? No, that doesn't sound right. Loving him before was easy, because you assumed it would always be one-sided and simple; no worries about making something work, or about working toward something. Now this is real, and it's a little bit scary looking at him and realizing how much you want him, and how big this could get.

"Say something," he sighs, and it sounds nowhere near as irritated as it should.

Your gaze drops to your feet, defeated—it moves toward his, and again, he’s taking off his shoes. Seungmin stands there and faces you.

“Okay...okay."

─ ⋅♡⋅ ─

123 notes · View notes

pastelpaperplanes · 5 months

Note

Has KnockOut ever been insecure of stretch marks given how he prides on his appearance? I’m sure Breakdown doesn’t mind them, though. Also, can Megatron feel anything with that tremendous scar on his back and how does Optimus react once he first saw it?

Knockout is definitely vain to a fault, always he was all the way back when he was still a nobel, this extends to not just his appearance but also his need to keep his snazzy clothes and armor in perfect condition, as well his bow pristine!

However, what he loves most in the world is the life he shares with Breakdown. The highs and lows they faced in life beyond the Autobot Kingdom, scars and scratches they earned along the way–all are memories of how hard they fought for their life together and how much they loved the fact that they got to fight and WIN for that love.

The marks he received in life since bonding Breakdown are met with pride! (Breakdown lets little get past him to hurt KO, that and Knockout is a mean shot with his bow, both are the other’s protectors! lol, scars received are few and far in between)

Knockout’s stretch marks from Wildbreak– his greatest gift from Breakdown, his greatest gift to the love of his life, are by far his proudest yet. They made that baby!!! And that is the greatest joy and challenge Knockout has ever faced, but the best part was that he got to face it with Breakdown.

Yes, and ofc Breakdown loves the marks. Obsessed w them even–they belong to his super strong, soft, and hot hubby

As for Megatron’s burn marks, nope he does not feel them much at all, the burns were very deep and fried a lot of his nerves. It wasn’t always that way of course, healing took. years.

Optimus has seen every single one of his scars. When asked, Megs would talk his audial off telling Op the stories of each proud mark. Some range from petty fights with his brother long ago, some from his time in the gladiator pits, others from dumb youthful decisions, he's a story book ready for Optimus to dive into, he only needs to ask.

His first reaction to seeing them was of course shock, but secondly he felt truly sick. Of course at Megs, nor the melted, glassy flash, but the fact that someone could do something like that to another person. Megatron has long since been used to that look of shock, those who have seen it rarely can school their features–he eased the situation with yet another story.

The largest scar, his burns, now that is the one that everytime he talks about it, Megs cooks up a whole new story to pair it with. Megatron’s favorites are “I feel asleep in a hot spring” or “Fireworks and High Grade don’t mix” and “You see my dear Sir Orion, there is a reason why I am not allowed in any kitchen ever again so long as I live”. Optimus doesn’t really wonder anymore. He knows all too well that some well placed humor is just a mask for the too painful of stories. He does know that he has never seen a ‘burn’ scar quite like Megatronus’

“In a great flash of light, the Allspark disappeared and Left King Ultra and Megatron gravely wounded…” so the stories go. Those in the battle rumor that Megatron made a scramble for the Allspark and the artifact lashed at the unworthy King of daring to filthy it with his hands, King Ultra being too close, sadly being burned as well in It’s rage.

Megatron has his own side of the story. Not that many beyond the few trusted of his People he’s shared it with know the truth, perhaps one day the little Knight may be ready.

#thorns and thrones au #asks #transformers #KOBD make my heart melt yet again #and Megs is cryptic as hell about that scar bc A) the truth or even a semblance of it would give him away and B) it truly is painful to tal #about and the worthy of the truth would make a low of power come crashing down #lot of**#right time and right place for that👍✨✨HES PATIENT. but for now #he gets to have so much fun freaking tf out of Op with so many WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESE SCARS?#kobd #tfa knockout #tfa breakdown #tfa wildbreak #tfa optimus prime #tfa megatron #tfa megop

116 notes · View notes

fourmoony · 3 months

Text

Friends or What?

James Potter x F!Reader

A coming of age story in which Potter's Corner Shop has a funny way of bringing people together. Falling in love is daunting when everyone is watching.

Ao3 Link - Series Masterlist - Fourmoony's Masterlist

Chapter Warnings for Chapter Two -

Language. Internalised homophobia. Mentions of physical and emotional abuse. Smoking. Use of the word 'fag', in context to a cigarette (UK Slang)

CHAPTER TWO (4K) -

JAMES

Sirius is quiet in the taxi home. He’s quiet when they shuck their shoes off in the entrance hall of the Potter Estate. He’s quiet as he footers around the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. He’s quiet while he and James stand side by side in their conjoined bathroom, brushing their teeth and washing their faces. He’s quiet, quiet, quiet, and James is starting to worry. The thing about Sirius is – is that he’s loud. In every possible way. Aged eleven, Sirius Black had come bounding into James Potter’s life with his boyish grin and loudmouth attitude, two middle fingers held up to the world and they’d been inseparable since.

James is loud like the sun. He’s funny and he’s charming in a warm, light, happy sort of way. He’s sturdy and reliable, he’s soft and he’s gentle. Sirius is loud like the laughter of a ten-thousand-man crowd. He’s abrasive and he’s obnoxious, he’s rough around the edges but he’s so fucking loyal that James never really stood a chance. He was destined to be Sirius Black’s brother, his best friend, his twin flame. Sirius is rebellious, he’s never been anything except what he wanted to be. He’s jagged and he’s loud and he’s James’ best mate in the entire world.

James knows Sirius like the back of his hand. So, he knows that quiet is not good. Sirius is complex. His past hasn’t been kind to him, and while he’s not the same sixteen-year-old boy that showed up on James’ doorstep seven years ago, battered and bruised, traumatised and a shell of himself, James still worries about him sometimes. Sirius talks about his family less and less as the years go on. James would like to think that, in a way, he’s healed from the trauma of Walburga and Orion Black. There are parts of Sirius that will never come back; his boyish innocence and the warmth he once exuded from his very soul, but James knows that Sirius is better. He doesn’t have nightmares anymore, he doesn’t hide himself away, he doesn’t stash bread and sweeties under his floorboards, he goes to therapy once a week and he’s making changes, for Christ’s sakes.

But James knows, he knows it deep into his fucking core, that the reason Sirius hasn’t told him about Remus, the reason he’s being so quiet, now, is because of his upbringing. It’s a subject he knows will have to be dealt with carefully, untwined with gentle fingers like plucking the thorns from a rose. One wrong word and James is scared Sirius will flee. He doesn’t like change, he doesn’t like lack of control, and if he’s kissing Remus Lupin for any other reason than to get under the poor bloke’s skin, then James is willing to bet Sirius is feeling an overwhelming amount of both.

So, he waits for Sirius to come to him. He sends him off to his own bed with a quiet ‘goodnight’ because he can wait. He will wait. Sirius isn’t ready and that’s okay. The two years James spent without Sirius were, by far, the hardest of his life. The Black’s decided this village was a bad influence, that it bred insubordination, was infecting Sirius’ mind with thoughts of growing up and doing anything but working in politics like the rest of his family. They moved to central London, in the borough of Islington, and that’s where things got really bad. Sirius doesn’t speak about London, much. Only to his therapist, which is fine with James. But he knows about all the stuff that happened when the Black’s lived in the village, he was there for it all; the broken bones, the bruises, the cuts, the scars, the rapid weight loss, he saw it happen, held Sirius through it, took the pieces of his own armour and filled in the gaps on Sirius’ because whilst Sirius is chaos, James is calm and he’s loyal, and he’s strong. And then Sirius left. And then Sirius came back to him. Then. Then, Sirius came home. So, James can wait. He can do it. Because James and Sirius tell each other everything, do everything together, but this is something that Sirius might just have to figure out on his own.

The house feels too quiet, the air around him too heavy, as James lies in bed. He tries to read, he fails, he polishes his rugby boots for training in the morning, and he fails. He can’t stop thinking about Sirius’ face; the frazzled, lost sort of look that plagued him when James had asked if he was okay, if he needed to talk about anything. James watched as Sirius fought and lost the battle of following Remus out of the Three Broomsticks and felt the pain heavy in his chest when he had to stop Sirius, himself.

“Not tonight. Let him cool off.” James had whispered, and Sirius didn’t have it in him to argue.

He tries to read, again, and he fails, again. He loves Sirius so much. He worries. He always worries. Because, sure, Sirius is a lot better, now, but he’s complex, he has trauma, and he’s visibly struggling. But James can’t help. Usually, he can always help Sirius. Sirius never shies away from asking for help. He’s on his own this time, scared and struggling and James can’t help him because he hasn’t asked and James refuses to push.

He tosses and he turns, and he sits up, he lies back down, he paces, he sits down, and eventually, he falls asleep, only to wake up when the bed dips beside him.

When his eyes open, he realises he’s fallen asleep with his glasses on because he can see the way the dawn breaks over the orchard outside his bedroom window. There’s frost on the grass and the sky is still a deep blue, getting lighter the further down he looks. Sirius is next to him. He doesn’t have to look over to know. James can tell by the pattern of his breaths, the smell of his shampoo, how far the bed dips. James Potter would know Sirius Black’s presence were he deaf and blind. He always will. He has a feeling Sirius, much like him, feels the weight that’s suffocating them.

He doesn’t look over, just waits for his best friend to say something. He can hear the cogs whirring behind Sirius’ pale blue eyes, the thumping of his heart against his ribcage. Sirius doesn’t speak for a long time.

“Do you –“ Sirius starts, but he falls short. He’s unsure, voice wavering, thick with anxiety. He swallows, coughs, tries again; “Do you think I’m a horrible person?”

It’s not what James is expecting Sirius to ask. As his best friend, his first instinct is to say, ‘Of course I don’t’, but James knows Sirius Black like the back of his hand, the insides of his eyelids, the warm glow that burns in his chest. He knows how Sirius can be. He knows how cruel his tongue is, how his first instinct when he’s threatened is to go for the throat. So, James deliberates.

“I think you’re a good person who horrible things have happened to. Sometimes, you allow those things to control the way you act. But no. I don’t think you’re a horrible person, Padfoot.” James answers honestly.

He watches the breeze blow through the orchard trees as the sun continues to creep up between the branches. Sirius breathes a sigh of relief, shuffles closer to James so he can feel the warmth of him. He finally looks down at Sirius, head rested on the same pillow as James, and he smiles softly. Sirius smiles back, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He looks tired, lost, scared. James wants to fix it all so bad. But he can’t. He has to let Sirius do it, himself.

When Sirius ran to him seven years ago, James made himself a promise. Nothing, and no one, would ever harm his best friend again. Not over James Potter’s cold, dead, body. But he can’t stop this, can he? He can’t wrap Sirius up and protect him from his own heart, his own mind. He doesn’t have that much power and it’s killing him.

“Remus thinks I’m a horrible person.” Sirius says, voice so quiet James thinks he believes it. Like Remus’ word is final.

He sighs, rubs the tiredness from his eyes, “Did he tell you this?”

“No,” Sirius answers, voice a moment from sleep, his eyes closed, and his face so sad and soft James feels his heart splinter, “I see it in the way he looks at me.”

“You could prove to him that you’re not.” James advises, voice soft.

Sirius makes a humming noise of acknowledgement, but ultimately, James knows the conversation is over. He’s dead to the world ten minutes later, and James follows suit not long after.

-----

SIRIUS

When Sirius was ten, he realised what it truly meant to be a member of the Black family.

It was more than fame, or politics, or even money. It was more than presenting themselves as a prestigious, well-educated family. For the Blacks it was about one thing: Power. They have an ability to play games with people that don’t even know they’re a part of them, closing in, moving pieces, counting cards until finally, they win. The Blacks always win. For as long as he can remember, every conversation Sirius Black has ever had with another member of his family has held some sort of purpose. Manipulation, information gathering, seed planting. The list goes on.

When you grow up in that environment, carefully wrapping your lips around poisoned words, watching your back with every move, the thing is – it becomes hard to trust. It gets hard to distinguish the difference between someone trying to get to know you, and someone trying to learn every dirty little secret you have so they can use it against you.

So, Sirius was ten when he learned the hard lesson of keeping his mouth shut, keeping his secrets close to his chest. Because the beating he took for telling Mary Riddle that his mother nicknamed her husband, Tom Riddle Sr., ‘The Snake’, was unpleasant at best. Secrets, or spilled secrets, never end well. He likes to keep his secrets close to his chest. Perhaps that has more to do with Walburga than he’d ever be willing to admit – because while the Black’s liked to know everyone else’s secrets, not a soul alive could tell you any of theirs.

It took Sirius one year to tell James how bad things really were. Even then, it’s not like he had an option. Too many black eyes, too many sprained wrists and unhealed cuts. James Potter is one of the smartest people Sirius knows. It was only a matter of time before he figured it out. By then, Sirius knew he could trust James, could feel it in his chest. What they have is special, unheard of. Their souls are made of the same things. Sirius knew that just as sure at age eleven as he does, now, age twenty-three.

Sirius doesn’t know why he hasn’t told James, yet.

Honestly, he doesn’t.

He’s tried. Gods, has Sirius tried. But the thing about James is – is that he’s so observant when it’s the big things, the big moments, the bad days, but the smaller, more minute things? Things like Sirius asking him to go for coffee, have a chat – it goes over his head completely. Every time Sirius builds himself up, James bulldozes over his confidence with an enthusiastic rant about rugby, the weather, the shop, and Sirius deflates like a burst balloon. He can’t get angry with James. Not really. Because Sirius has a sneaking suspicion that he’s subconsciously grateful for James ruining the moment over, and over. If he was truly confident in letting his secret spill, he’d just bulldoze James right back. That’s how they work.

But, instead, Sirius says nothing.

Always nothing.

It’s becoming a problem, he’s aware. Especially with the way Remus is staring at him, now, expectant, and impatient. He’s just – he’s not good at opening up to people, at letting them in. There’s something there, though, with Remus. He feels it in the static buzzing between his ribs, the sparks buzzing at his fingertips. He doesn’t know what to do with the energy, doesn’t like the way it makes him feel. A loss of control.

It’s been less than twenty four hours since their… fight. In the Three Broomsticks’ beer garden. Remus called Sirius a pretentious prick, Sirius called Christopher a wet wipe. Remus’ lips felt so angry against his, so frustrated and raw, so. Nice. They haven’t spoken since. Not really. Not in any way that matters. Nothing other than the short, jabbing quips that once, were fun, but now are exhausting. Sirius doesn’t hate Remus. Not really. But he’s not sure he likes him either.

He’s scared and he’s confused, and Remus is looking at him like he should have all the answers and he doesn’t know what to do.

So, he shrugs, “I told you. I don’t know.”

Remus nods, he looks like he’d been expecting that answer. “I’m not just someone you can fuck around with until you figure out whatever posh boy gay crisis it is you’re having.”

Sirius has the nerve to scoff. The thing about Remus is. He’s incredibly good at giving what he gets. Sirius knows he’s cutthroat when he’s been backed into a corner. He has this evil monster in his head, in his chest, in the blood that thrums through his veins – it’s a by-product of being born a Black. Or maybe it’s just him. Maybe he grew up in a house so rotted, with a family so monstrous, that he never had any hope of being more than. But Remus is just as short, just as rude. It’s maddening. It inspires Sirius to challenge him, if only to feel the scorch of his lips, the electricity of his touch.

“I can’t do this right now.”

Remus flicks his fag across the road, pushes himself off the wall, “You’ve been saying that for as long as I’ve known you.”

“You don’t know me.” Sirius feels the need to remind Remus.

Because really, he doesn’t.

Remus Lupin knows jack shit about Sirius Black. Other than what he tastes like. What he sounds like. That he’s rotted and spoiled and probably a horrible person.

So, he knows a little.

But he’s never shown any interest in getting to know the good parts of Sirius. The loyalty. The unwavering fucking loyalty that Sirius gives out like rare change, but when you have it, you have it, and it never falters. The laughter, the jokes, the careful way he cares for each and every person he loves. He’s loud and abrasive, but Remus will never know he can be that way and not be an arsehole about it.

Sirius won’t force him to see past what he wants to see. He’s accepted that maybe the reason Remus thinks he’s a terrible person is simple. Because he is.

“You’re right. I don’t.”

Remus doesn’t say good-bye when he turns, yanks open the door to the shop and steps inside. Sirius hears the faint ringing of the bell, your voice calling out Remus’ name. He gives himself a moment. A moment to look at the door and hope that Remus will come back out and explain very plainly what it is he wants from Sirius. Because Sirius is at a loss. He doesn’t remember much about the night that he met Remus. Just the feeling of pure adrenaline he got from whatever haughty words they exchanged in the smoking area, the half-hearted scoffs and awkward chit chat of getting to know someone you really shouldn’t have any interest in getting to know. Remus was charming. He was quiet and mysterious, and he was rather blunt. Sirius didn’t mind. He likes to talk, likes to push, likes to know everyone’s secrets.

Power. Games. He never really got away from that. Just them.

He doesn’t remember how it got so heated, how they ended up millimetres away from each other’s faces, their breaths mingling and the static electricity winding its way around Sirius’ ribcage. But they did. And Remus’ lips. They were so rough, so demanding. So lovely. He remembers the way it overpowered him, the kiss, shook him to his core and turned his entire fucking life upside down. The thing Sirius can’t shake, though. The thing that tears him up inside – which he refuses to look at too deeply – is the look on Remus’ face when Sirius broke the kiss, took two steps back, announced that he wasn’t gay, and essentially took off running.

The thing is, Sirius isn’t gay.

At least, he’s ninety-nine percent sure he’s not.

He can’t be. He won’t be.

When Sirius is positive Remus isn’t coming back out, he leaves.

----

The bell dings above the shop door and Remus returns in a flash of fury. His jaw is set, eyes narrowed, and his lips twisted. It pulls at the scar on his cupids bow, makes it an angrier shade of red than it normally is. Usually, after a smoke break, Remus returns more relaxed, calm, a more pleasant version of the boy you’d originally sent outside to cool off after he kicked a box of freddos across the storeroom twenty minutes ago.

He stalks up to the till, doesn’t even check if there’s any customers present before he announces that, “Sirius Black is a fucking prick.”

You’re perched on the edge of the counter, flipping through a magazine. Sundays are generally slow days. All the week’s deliveries have arrived, the pull forwards have been done, the cleaning is done. All that’s really left to do is sit around and wait for customers to show up. Remus must not be expecting you to reply – probably because you never do when it comes to Sirius – because he huffs a breath before continuing through to the storeroom, likely to take his anger out on another unsuspecting box of chocolate. The door squeaks awfully behind him.

A head of Black hair flashes past the window, barely visibly above the promotion signs James is always tacking up. But it’s there. You see it. Sirius is stalking off in the direction of the Leaky. Remus’ frustration suddenly makes sense. Not saying anything to Remus about what you and James witnessed last night has been torture, especially when he’s been a moody sod all day. Sirius and Remus don’t make any logical sense. But then, you’ve never really given it much thought. Until last night, you were under the impression they’d sooner knock each other out before going at it like horny teenagers in the beer garden.

But you promised James you wouldn’t say anything. So, you don’t. You allow Remus to sulk and fume and take his frustration out on a box of freddos. Because that’s what friends do, you suppose.

Remus returns five minutes later looking cool, calm, and collected. He doesn’t offer an explanation nor an apology for his outburst. Instead, he travels around the counter to stand behind you and be ready to serve, should anyone come inside. You doubt they will, most of the village residents barely leave their homes on a Sunday, let alone past five in the afternoon. The silence is weighted. But then, you think, that’s probably because you know more than you should. Silence with Remus is usually comfortable. It sticks to your skin like humid air and makes you restless, unable to enjoy flicking through your magazine.

“What did he want?” You ask, eyes pointedly focussed on the article about this week’s fashion trends.

You’ve got one leg kicked up on the counter, balancing your magazine, and one dangling off the side, facing Remus, but you refuse to look up; terrified he’ll be able to see right through you.

He hums, “Who?”

“Sirius.”

Remus doesn’t respond for a minute. You imagine he’s trying to piece together how you know he was outside.

“Saw him stalking off towards the Leaky after you came in.” You offer.

“Right.”

“So?”

“So, what?” He asks.

You finally look up; Remus is already staring at you with nothing short of frustration written across his face. He purses his lips, shrugs a non-committal shrug, “The usual. To be a prick.”

“Right.”

“Why does it sound like you don’t believe that?” Remus asks, crossing his arms across his chest.

It’s your turn to shrug. You flip the page of your magazine, eyes downcast. “Just doesn’t seem like Sirius to go out of his way to be a prick.”

Remus scoffs but doesn’t say anything else.

The rest of the shift passes in silence.

James comes to lock up because you forgot your keys at home, this morning, and Monty offered to send James before he left earlier on. It feels like walking on eggshells when he shows up, asks how the day went, and Remus is still in his horrible, sulky mood. You avoid eye contact as you clear lottery tickets and scratch cards from behind the till, making polite conversation as James counts the money inside the tills. He knows you hate numbers – he does it without asking.

Remus doesn’t offer much of a goodbye when he leaves, just tells James he’ll see him on Wednesday and goes. You deflate when the door closes behind him, tension seeping out of your shoulders. James frowns after him, “What’s up with him?”

“Sirius stopped by, earlier.” You fiddle with the clipper display, moving the lighters around as though you have a particular order that you’d like them to be in.

“What did he want?” James asks, locking the till.

You shrug, “They were outside. Couldn’t hear. But Remus has been in a right mood since he left.”

James doesn’t say anything, just sighs and rubs his hands across his face.

Then, “I owe you an apology. For last night. I shouldn’t have been so forceful with you not telling them you know. Sometimes I forget Sirius is an adult who doesn’t need to have his feelings protected.”

He looks earnest, sincere. You hadn’t really thought any bad of James for cornering you the way he did. Honestly, you’d admired how much he cared about Sirius in that moment, how he didn’t think, just reacted in the best possible interest of his best friend.

“S’okay.” You nod, offering James a kind smile.

It’s weird, to have a normal conversation with no one watching, no flirting, no innuendos. It’s nice.

James shakes his head, his half-damp hair moving with him. He looks freshly showered, probably is, you know he had rugby practice today. He’s wearing his rugby hoodie and his gym shorts. He looks boyish and cute, and when he offers you a lopsided smile your heart stutters.

“It’s not. I felt the way you tensed when I grabbed your wrist, I shouldn’t have done that.”

You laugh a little breathily, “That-“ You try, stop, try again, “That wasn’t because I was scared or, or anything. It was just,” You trail off, hoping James accepts that as answer.

How incredibly embarrassing would it be to tell James that you’d been so tense because his touch felt like blazing fire against your skin, made your heart stop, your head spin, your stomach grow butterflies. Pathetic, really.

James looks lost but nods slowly anyway.

“Right, well. That’s us done, so you’re free to go. I’ve a few things to grab from the office and I’ll lock up on my way out.”

“Right, cheers. See you tomorrow, Jamie.”

James’ face brightens at the nickname, his smile wide and teasing, “Tomorrow.”

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