I jUST LEARNED

Megatron and Orion Pax meeting for the first time:

And then. When Future Megs talking to Past Orion in mtmte#36

“Darling.”

It is Rung who calls for him; his voice a soft, warm sigh as he fetches himself up against Megatron’s side and skims a touch over the blades of his sweetspark’s undercarriage vent. He always lingers a little too long on the ‘ah’ sound and drops the ‘r’, only to break off the end of the word with a snap.

Ah.

Megatron turns and lifts Rung up, into the little divot of his arm, where his conjunx belongs, optics narrowing into slow blinks.

This is right, the small warmth of Rung against him, the way he fits, and Megatron leads them over to the couch, sitting heavily to curl around him and soak in the simple pleasure of having him home.

Rung is Home.

"Hello," he murmurs against the top of Rung's helm. "I missed you."

the way my Megatron would pronounce your muses name is

Prr-owl (he rolls the R so much it sounds like his purring lol)

Prowl says his name almost like a cadence.

" Meg-Ah-Trron." Crisply, you can hear the syllabels but with a little lilt in a barely noticeable roll of the r's.

spark of the lost light by Brxkxn_Fxxth

Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)  

Explicit

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

M/M, Other

Tags:

Rung (Transformers)/Original Character(s)

Drift | Deadlock/Ratchet

Cyclonus/Tailgate (Transformers)

Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers)

Rung (Transformers)/Rose (Self-Insert)

Optimus Prime

Rodimus | Rodimus Prime

Tailgate (Transformers)

Cyclonus (Transformers)

Rung (Transformers)

Swerve (Transformers)

Skids (Transformers)

Chromedome (Transformers)

Rewind (Transformers)

Ratchet (Transformers)

Drift | Deadlock

Ultra Magnus (Transformers)

Minimus Ambus (Transformers)

Whirl (Transformers)

Brainstorm (Transformers)

Ten (Transformers)

Prowl (Transformers)

Getaway (Transformers)

Pharma (Transformers)

First Aid (Transformers)

Nautica (Transformers)

Nightbeat (Transformers)

Velocity (Transformers)

Roller (Transformers)

Atomizer (Transformers)

Bluestreak (Transformers)

Perceptor (Transformers)

Thunderclash (Transformers)

Mainframe (Transformers)

Blaster (Transformers)

Megatron (Transformers)

Ravage (Transformers)

Pipes (Transformers)

Fortress Maximus (Transformers)

Rose (Self-Insert)

Whirl Being Whirl

Friends to Lovers

slowburn

Romance

Eventual Romance

Drama & Romance

Slow Romance

Fluff and Angst

Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Angst and Feels

Heavy Angst

Following The Comics

Summary:

rose is brought on board to the lost light after a freak accident, and is appointed as liaison, upon the lost light rose struggles with self discovery and zir ongoing relationships, with all this chaos happening would zey be able to navigate through it?

Series:

Part 27 of Self Insert Stuff 

Part 10 of Rose x Rung 

Part 34 of Transformers 

Part 23 of Transformers MTMTE

Rose walked into the room poking zir helm in. “H-H-Hello? I hope I-I’m n-not i-interrupting a-anything!” Rose said. Ratchet llooked up from working on Rung’s arm.

“You’re not interrupting anything, I’m just finishing working on Rang–” Ratchet starts. 

“ Rung. ” Rung corrects. 

“--And I should be there shortly to work on you.” Ratchet said. 

“...O–Oh I don’t– I don’t I-I-I don’t need- need he-help.” Rose said. 

“Then what are you in here for? I am back to the bone with other patients, I have Whirl, Tailgate and Rung in here, and there’s about to be 40 more possible patients.” Ratchet said. 

“W-Well I-I-I wan-wanted t-to m-meet o-o-other bots, bots, bots,” Rose frowns, “O-Other bots.” 

Ratchet sighed, “As long as you don’t get in the way of things then be my guest.” Ratchet said. 

“Thanks for the fix, Ratchet.” Rung said, twisting his arm to test it out, “I suppose it’s Whirl’s turn next.” Rung said. 

“Would I be betraying my profession if I said I was hoping for a series of distractions that would prevent me from fixing him for another, ooh, five hundred years?” Ratchet asked. 

Rung by now, noticed Rose, and turned to face the cybertronian. “Ah, who must you be?” He asked Rose. 

“O-O-Oh m-my n-n-name i-i-is-is R-R-R-Rose.” Rose said, introducing zirself, holding zir servo out for Rung to shake, Rung shook zir servo. 

“What’s the matter with your voicebox if you don't mind me asking.” Rung asks, “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I don’t mean to intrude.” Rung adds. 

Rose blinks, but Ratchet steps in. “We don’t know, I can’t divulge any further, patient confidentiality, Rung. All you need to know is that Zey had some sort of freak accident before arriving on The Lost Light and that it contributed to what is wrong with zem now.” Ratchet said, Rung blushes in mere embarrassment. 

“A-Ah, understood, I nearly forgot about that. I sincerely apologize, Ratchet, but Rose, nice name, my name is–” Before Rung could introduce himself, Rung gets punched by Whirl. Rose stood on the sidelines to get out the way.

I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 

Some in Megatrons chat (starscream probably) calls Megatron a Karen

Megatron spends the next hour trying to figure out what the fuck a Karen is

"--can you believe the sheer audacity of that young man? kids these days are so spoiled." Megatron sighs. "they're rotten, rotten to the core. i cannot believe that that pesky millennial did not let a big beautiful woman like me go ahead in line so that i could purchase more beanie babies."

Dreadwing steps into cameraview of the stream. He turns around and leaves.

Megatron fires his fusion cannon into the air. "but unbeknownst to the customers of claire's it was not in fact Megan Ron there with them, no, it was their warlord in a wig! hah. humans are so stupid."

The chat whizzes by. Megatron narrows his gaze upon a single chat message in particular.

L0RD_SƐƐKƐR: u r such a karen

Megatron rubs his chin. "a kahr-ren? ah! this must be a compliment. i wonder what it means..."

1 hour later

The chat is going feral.

Megatron leans in and reads the chat. "chat. you have been explaining this to me for an hour. i still do not understand. 'she asks to see the manager'? how is that bad? customer is king. warlord is king. i am king."

Megatron clonks his keyboard around and types "karen" into Google. Images of blonde women with bobcuts flood the screen.

He shakes his helm. "i am more fashionable than these women. perhaps watching a few yootub videos will help me understand this foreign but welcome compliment." He opens up a video.

It begins. He sees a woman shuffling around and patting a red car with a long metal pipe.

Megatron nods sagely. "she is clearly being a good citizen and checking to see if that car will pretend to be her brother and betray her later."

The cameraman approaches the "good citizen" and a male voice blasts out of the computer. "whaddye doing? you been tappin' my student's car three times by now."

The woman moves in. "are you quite leeeegal?"

Megatron gasps. He slaps his talon to his chest. "there she goes! enforcing the law. it is what i would do."

The Karen narrows her eyes at the cameraman. "are you legal to park over somebody's drive?"

"ayy don't get too close, please," the cameraman says.

Megatron gasps even louder this time. "confront that orion! go on, lady, go!"

"i know what you areee," the woman hisses.

Megatron clutches the computer screen with two shaky talons. "that traitorous cameraman! he is conspiring with that car to betray you! defend yourself, karen!"

The Karen runs after the cameraman. "you back off! you're a bully! you're a thief! you like stealing from your workplace! you're a criminal!"

Megatron slams his fist on the desk and sends the video to Optimus. "this is the wrath you can expect to receive from me should you ever dare betray me again, optimus! you stole the matrix! you're a bully, you're a thief, you like stealing from your workplace! you're a criminal!"

I think it’s hilarious there is a megatron fic in the Ellie/Dina tag.

Ah yeah, while the idea of that is funny the person behind it is on tumblr and i don’t care if they ever see this or not, but they uh, are interacting with TLoU in a negative way. (someone posted a warning about them a month ago suggesting they be blocked) i’m not adding all this info to cause drama, just to kinda say yeah, the person attached to the fic had a “heads up might want to avoid this blog” made about them already, and there was a good reason for it.  a few of which i will post under the cut with warning for mentions of r*ape for anyone who needs that

while they seem harmless some of the post they made are concerning, they had one post saying they were going to hunt down any pro TLoU blogs and start reporting them because “the game is bad and promotes hate” in addition to sharing some anti-semetic Neil Druckman vids they openly pray for him to die or be killed.  they had a series of posts that were like, “hey i hate this game it’s too dangerous for people who are easily affected” followed by a post that was like “abby is a a piece of shit that deserves to get r*aped”  they aren’t big in the fandom or really involved in any way aside from random hate posts so i’m not going share their name publicly and honestly i’d ignore that fic and let it fall into obscurity. the person writing it doesn’t deserve any more attention then they’ve already been given.

sorry i ruined your fun ask with this shit, anon. (it was hilarious for a few seconds)

Calling in a Favor part 4

Ultra Magnus was not having the best of cycles.

The cycle had started with him waking up with a crick in the neck, and it had been joined by a headache caused by the presence of one Sentinel Prime.

He reminded himself that everyone grieves differently, but the ego of his second was honestly starting to grate on his patience. 

Half way through reading a report, he caught the sound of a commotion not far from his ground floor private office, taking a long suffering sigh, he got up, poured himself a cube of high grade, and stepped out to deal with whatever Sentinel was likely upset about this time.

Had some poor bot put the filter in upside down in the general energon dispenser again?

Was there a tiny crude drawing scratched into a surface he spotted?

Maybe his attempt to flirt with First Aid had backfired in his faceplates again and she was giving him the what for…

Or perhaps his second in command was having his faceplates smashed in by the business end of a wrench that a familiar pseudo retired medic was wielding. 

Ultra Magnus let the shock show on his features for a few moments before he schooled them and spoke up, using his ‘I’m in charge’ voice that he knew carried well enough to get everyone (hopefully Ratchet included) to stop what they were doing and shut up.

“What, in the infernal pits of Kaon, is going on here?!”

Everyone froze.

Except Ratchet who got one more good swing in past Sentinel’s feeble attempts to prevent it.

He looked between Sentinel and Ratchet, expression furrowed into a frown. “Ratchet, this is not like you, what has happened?”

Sentinel, who was pinned under the older, smaller, supposedly not as aged as he looked mech, growled. “What does it look like Sir?! This maniac attacked me!”

Ratchet got up, but kept a pede firmly planted on Sentinel’s chassis, likely leaving a dirty footprint on his shirt. “Oh, you don’t know, I’ll tell you, and every bot here what happened.” He paused, the dramatic effect was certainly felt. “This morning, I heard a ruckus above my clinic, I go to investigate, only to find one of the tenants, Bumblebee, in hysterics and screaming at his apartment mate Bulkhead, it took me getting two cubes down him and four trips to the can to purge before he spat out what happened.” 

Another pause for an effect, but this time it felt more like the medic was taking a moment to compose himself before trying to continue, the look in his optics suddenly becoming haunted. 

“Optimus is dead. The mob got him. Bee was a bartender at one of the clubs apparently, one of the goons told him why one of his best friends hadn’t shown up. They took him to the Docks last night and he never came back.”

The words hung in the air for a time no one present really thought to keep track of.

What broke the silence was the cube of high grade Ultra Magnus had been holding, the cube smashing on the ground just ahead of him, spilling its contents across the floor. 

The sound of the cube shattering snapped Magnus back to the present. “My upstairs office. Now. Sentinel, you too.”

Sentinel grumbled as he got himself upright and trunched after the two senior mechs, barely squeezing into the lift between Ratchet and Magnus before the doors closed, having chosen to turn around at face the doors along with the two so as to avoid optic contact with the medic who’d just been trying to rearrange his face with the wrench he was still holding, he could feel energon dribbling down his faceplates. 

Once they were all behind the soundproofed and locked door of Ultra Magnus’ entire upper floor spanning office, did he turn and address Ratchet. “Ratchet… I understand your distress, I was of the impression you had taken Optimus under your wing so to speak… But…  You are aware you just assaulted my second in command with a wrench, correct? I really should be arresting you for that, but I have a sneaking suspicion you had a rather good reason for targeting Sentinel, correct?”

Ratchet’s gaze locked on Sentinel and turned murderous. “Looks like you never told your boss, how about you tell Magnus now what you’d been holding over Optimus’ helm?”

Sentinel, with his now rather smashed in faceplates, still managed to look like a mechabuck caught in high beams. 

Magnus turned to look at Sentinel as well, an incy disposition falling over the head of the Elite Guard. 

“Sentinel Prime… What in the name of Primus… did you do.”

It was at that moment that Sentinel knew… he was slagged… and Optimus wasn’t alive anymore to take the fall for it… not again.

The Polaris

Optimus waved Shrike and her younglings goodbye, they’d been paged by Shrike’s lieutenant about a fight breaking out in the main engine room, not a joor after they’d finished touring that area. 

Apparently her way of dealing with such issues was to, and to quote Rumble, a youngling, directly ‘Bea’ tha bolts ou’ ah those slag suckers!’ 

He distinctly remembered that some of those slag suckers were the twins sparkling sitters when Dust managed to catch Shrike and attempt to put the femme back together. 

Optimus shook his helm at the whole thing, making a personal note not to take a trip to the engine rooms unannounced, as lovely as all those giant oil and grime caked mechs and femmes had been, they were all rather quick to brawl, and some of their fists he swore were bigger than his whole helm.

He turned to regard the door Shrike had left him standing outside, and after a moment, knocked, Shrike had said something about him finding his direct supervisor inside. 

The door swung open after a swift ‘Coming!’ and he was brought faceplates to faceplates with a pure white armoured femme who came up to about his chassis, who had a metric ton of vibrant organic plumage sticking out from one side of her helm, specifically around her audio. 

The femme looked up, took in the sight of him, and tutted. “Orion right?” He nodded. “Goodness Shrike took you to the engine rooms! You’re filthy!”

He jerked his helm down to look over his casual attire. “Oh! Oh no this was just the first stuff I grabbed out of my r-”

The femme didn’t let him finish, promptly dragging him by the collar into the room. “Everyone! Calipso! Get me a dressing gown! Eion put down the optic liner and help me get this mech to the showers!”

Mechs and Femmes alike, all of them arguably some of the most beautiful and gorgeous bots he’d ever seen all spun in their make up chairs to look him up and down, some of which still applying make up to their features as they did so. 

Two jumped up, a mech who was mostly soft greens with a red highlight colour that framed his lithe figure, and a femme of soft lilac and blue who looked half dressed if the fact she was only wearing a form fitting dress and nothing else was anythign to go by, she wasn’t even wearing shoes. 

All of this he was able to take in in the few short moments he had until the mech, he assumed to be Eion, pulled him into what he guessed was the mech shower room, and began setting up a stall for him. 

A dressing gown was tossed at him before the doors were shut to the shower area, leaving just him and Eion. 

The mech chuckled and offered a servo. “Eion, Orion right? Congrats on getting the spot.”

Optimus’ jaw was hanging a bit. “Um… what? I’m sorry I’ve been told… very… very little about what’s going on here… where am I?”

Eion laughed. “You’re on level four, and this chunk of the level is set aside for us Entertainers, the femme who dragged us in is our supervisor, Jadarite. The rest of us, you now included, all work in the main entertainment district of the Polaris. Dancers, wait staff, table jockeys, that kind of stuff… got any experience with dealing out tables?” Eion asked.

Optimus shook his helm. “Um no… I was just a waiter and danced back at the club… sometimes I also sang, sometimes.” He flushed the full way through the admission of his previous roles.

Eion smiled, hopped up and patted Optimus on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you get up to speed, but Jadarite was, well, right, you are filthy, c’mon, showers work like any other shower, but be careful, the max temp is only the max temp because we have some sadomasochists on board who get their jollies off going to Dust for scalded plating!” He grinned and giggled as his own apparent joke, whacking him on the shoulder quickly.

Optimus knew his jaw was hanging a bit, it felt like it was going to be a permanent expression on his features for quite a time to come. “Why do I feel like… at least half of this ship is on their way to going insane?”

Eion really laughed then, waving the mech off. “Comes with the territory! I’m assuming you’ve never been off the home world before?”

Optimus shook his helm. 

Eion grinned. “Then don’t worry, you’ll be one of us in no time in that department too! Now wash up! And dump those clothes in the hamper over there, they’ll be given a proper wash and sent to your new quarters long before we’ll be done with you for the cycle!”

And with that, the green and red mech slipped back out, closing the door behind him and leaving Optimus to stand alone in the mechs showers holding a dressing gown and wondering what fate Megatron had thrown him to.

Tentatively, Optimus got to undressing, spotting the hamper Eion had mentioned and dumping them all inside and silently hoping he didn’t loose them, he hadn’t had time to pack anything at all, not even a spare change of briefs. 

He didn’t bother to don the dressing gown just yet, putting it up on one of the hooks a safe distance away from the showers next to where a number of unbelievably plush towels were hung, they were so soft…

Before he even knew what he was doing, he had one of the towels and was just rubbing his face against it, it was so soft and fluffy he could just melt!

He supposed otherworldly soft towels was a good quality he could chalk up to working here.

Knowing he’d get to wrap himself up in at least two of those towels once he was washed, he moved over to the showers and inspected them, the controls looked simple enough, hot and cold were colour coded and he just needed to lift the lever like nob up to increase the pressure.

Picking a temp a bit below the ‘you sadomasochists’ engraved plaque that was over the dashed part of the red, Optimus braced himself and turned on the shower head he’d found himself under.

HOT.

He jumped back, luckily the tiled floor was dry so he didn’t slip, but Primus!

Oh right, he’d not had a hot shower since his cycles at the academy, wanted to avoid paying a high heating bill.

Steam was already starting to billow out from around the spray, bringing up the humidity of the area.

He reached past the spray and notched down the temperature and tested it again with two digits, still warm, not scalding. 

Bracing himself, he stepped back under, and got to work trying to get himself presentable, making use of a handy little solvent dispenser that was mounted on the wall in a little wire basket just to his left. 

Eventually the suds and solvent were all washed away, and the water running off his frame was just as clear as when it hit his helm and the broad span of his back. 

Turning off the faucet Optimus looked out at the steam filled room, and carefully, mindful of the now wet floor, stepped over to the towels and where he’d left the dressing gown.

The first one he used to rub down his frame to get the water that was taking it’s time vacating the panes of his frame, the second smaller one he used to rub his faceplates dry, as well as focus on the harder to reach spots. 

All done with drying off, he slipped the dressing gown on.

And oh he was never getting out of this, the inside lining was even more soft, and fluffy!

He gave himself a few kliks to just melt into the softness before he moved back to the door that led back out to where all the other bots were.

He cracked the door open, and found many of the bots from before were gone, Eion was still there, as well as Calipso and Jadarite, but only two others remained, and they seemed to be just finishing the last of their apparel.

Jadarite turned to regard him and smiled. “Much better darling, c’mon out, there’s no need to be shy.” She coaxed, she was an older femme who had apparently perfected the ‘soothing frightened bots’ voice, because the moment her servos took his, he was more than willing to step back out into the main area, despite only wearing a dressing gown, he should feel more… not ashamed, he’d done nothing wrong, embarrassed? No… considering how communal everything in this area was, he couldn’t imagine these bots around him being very prudish. 

Jadarite patted his shoulder once he was seated at a vanity that was much more barren than the rest of those in the room. “Alright dear, let’s see how we can gussy you up right pretty with what we’ve got here.”

He nodded, and just let them do what they wanted. 

Three joors, a number of rambles about Knockout’s skill of being better than him at this sort of thing, and a whole reel of measuring tape, and the, dress prep? Was complete. 

Jadarite clapped her servos together, and spun his chair to face the mirror. 

Okay, he’d bite, he looked good, the eyeliner in particular was really framing his optics well while also defying the laws of physics to a truly astonishing degree.

Calipso, who was a rather timid thing, gave him a small smile. “We’ll figure out stuff like what colours work best with you and if plumage works next cycle, do you wanna keep that stuff on and wash it off later or do you prefer us getting it all off now?”

He glanced to the three who’d laboured and experimented away at his features for the last three joors to get him looking this good. “Um, I’ll keep it on? So… what next?”

Jadarite beamed at him. “Now’s the fun part, the shows over for the night, so everybots gonna be coming back to finish up for the cycle, and from there, we’re all hitting our private bar here on deck four. If you want to come along, I’m sure Unverlo will be able to lend you something comfortable, he’s a bit bigger than you so you shouldn’t have any issue with fitting into something of his.”

“You’re sure he won’t mind?”

Apparently the mech in question didn’t mind at all, and had an apparently love for big, fluffy and baggy jumpers, which hung off one of his shoulders no matter how many times he tried to adjust it while he found himself sitting at the Entertainers private bar and had conversations struck up with him by basically everyone he was going to be working with.

The Bar was, Optimus couldn’t describe it in a single word, but everything seemed to of been designed for relaxation and winding down.

There was dim mood lighting that pulsed around the room, the only stron light coming from the vibrantly coloured tanks of energon that bubbled and churned behind the bar. 

The opposite side from the bar was where the tables were, built into the wall around circular tables, the padded seats had enough room for everyone.

Opposite from the entrance, and passed a small dance floor, with a familiar pole mounted in the centre, was a floor to ceiling window out into space, the stars beyond providing a stunning backdrop to the bots dancing.

Unverlo, the mech he was currently sitting next too at the bar was a soft spark with a love for neo-felines, he apparently had four in his own suite and he had maxed out three data-pads image storage with pictures and videos full of the brightly coloured, highly affectionate things.

Unverlo admitted he spoiled them all rotten with treats and affection.

Optimus had cooed over every picture and goofy video he’d seen, even asking at once point if he could be taken to see them one cycle.

Unverlo was more than happy to accept, setting a date and time right there and then before taking a cube of mid grade, he apparently wasn’t too fond of high grade, something about his tanks not agreeing with it, before he vacated the seat next to Optimus and let someone else quickly take it.

Which turned out to be Calipso, who struck up her own quiet conversation with him.

The rest of the night cycle continued like that until Jadarite announced it was time for everyone to retire, which many did without too much grumbling.

Some left in pairs, others in small groups, Eion offered to show him where his room was and he gladly accepted, Unverlo had already left so he assumed the soft baggy clothes would be returned to the mech the next cycle when clothes more suited for him were ready.

Admittedly he’d miss the jumper.

Eion led the way to his new room, providing some idle chatter about this and that as Optimus took the time to appreciate just how, luxurious everything was.

Him bumping into Eion’s back was what snapped him out of appreciating the decor. 

Eion held up a key, not a key card, but an actual key and passed it to him. “Don’t loose it, okay? The smith here on the ship doesn’t like it when bots loose his keys.” 

Optimus nodded in understanding. “I understand, thank you Eion… would you be willing to collect me tomorrow? I fear I may get lost a number of times before I get proper bearings of this place.”

Eion smiled up at him and nodded. “Sure thing! I’ll come pick you up before morning feuling, see you then Orion!” The mech waved goodby as he walked off, heading towards his own suite.

Optimus watched him go for a few moments, before turning his attention to the door and sliding the key into the keyhole.

A quick twist and the sound of a needlessly complicated locking mechanism coming undone later, and he was stepping into his suite.

The moment the room registered to him, he did a double take.

It was larger than his shared apartment back in Iacon!

His jaw was dropped once more as he took in the sprawling open plan suite.

A glance to his right revealed a modest kitchenette, fridge, oven, energon dispenser, sink, a number of sleek engraved cabinet doors…

A glance to the left revealed the open door to a lavish wash rack, there was even a bath large enough for him to submerge in completely!

He walked into the washrack and felt his lower jaw threaten to fall off, it wasn’t just a bath, it was a Primus be damned jacuzzi! 

He found four dressing gowns hanging by the door, and soon discovered his alias designation of ‘Orion’ had been stitched into each on the breast pocket in cursive text, in golden thread no less.

He found some make up wipes in a draw under the mirror in the washracks, and after a bit of hesitation, wiped off the makeup he’d been wearing, he was planning to locate the berth and pass out, and he didn’t want to make a mess of the pillows he had a hunch were going to be just as lavish as everything else. 

Finished with cleaning himself up, Optimus stepped back out into the open plan living area, there was a number of pieces of furniture dotted about with little tables and table lights next to them, perfect for some light reading under soft light. 

He’d have to see about acquiring some data pads from the Library Neolock had mentioned earlier, apparently it was two floors down nearby that floors branch medical bay.

Walking through the door into the berthroom, he had to do a double take.

That berth could fit four of him!

He was hit by a sudden wave of exhaustion, and suddenly he didn’t care that the berth was massive, wider than his old room in Iacon was, he reached the end, fell into a crowl, kicked off his shoes, and slid face down onto the covers and just took in the smell of freshly washed sheets.

Running his digits over it, he marveled at the texture, cool to the touch, but promising to trap heat…

A bit of fumbling later and he was under the covers, snuggled into one of the ludicrously plush pillows.

Recharge claimed him before he could even turn the rooms lights off.

A few moments later the lights flickered out, and an airy giggle came over the speaker nestled in the wall.

“Sleep well new crew.” An autotune voice whispered, as the lights in the rest of the room shut off, and the door left unlocked deadbolted itself shut.

Megs:*going to beat up Side Burn* {} Side Burn:N I C E T H I G H S T H E R E

Megatron:"I'm going to fucking end you."

Side Burn, laying on his berth: "ah ha, babe you sexy tho ;)"

That is it. Their relationship.

“Why a-a-are you- you so c-c-calm about this? You’re re-r-really hurt!” Athena's trying her best to not completely freak out, but it's not working out so well. [[ @seekerathena ]]

@seekerathena

Megatron glanced up from the Energon dripping down his arm, his undamaged servo clutching the gash in his upper arm, trying to slow the leaking. 

“Ah, no this is hardly anything” He tried to stand up but hardly managed to get his pedes under him before a wave of dizziness overtook his processor and he settled back down “I just need to rest a bit and I’ll be fine”

TFA Liveblog - 1x08 Nanosec

I don't see how this could possibly live up to last ep tbh

Is this a fourth of july ep?

Ope no nvm

Detroit really is always gonna be Detroit huh

Who is this rat boy and why is he orange

HEYYYY THATS MY SON. HI HONEY

Aww yes a speedy boy doing his thing.

What are the fireworks for????

"Who died and made you Big Boy?" Me. You killed me. Just now in fact asdfhjkl

Aaaaaand there they go. Welp.

I regret tk inform you that the Good Boy Squad has now gone 0 days since last Incident

Did they just drown rat boy??

Oh no wait there he is

Oop and there he goes

Hey OP!!!!!

Ah, back to the domain of Sumdac and The Brain...

"You can't make shit dawg." I agree with Megs here. I haven't seen Sumdac m a k e anything for himself yet.

Whaaaaat is desdronium????

God he's so dumb

Isaac they talk about the war all the damn time please wake the fuck up

Oooooo OP is learning to use his disappointed dad tone. "Have fun sneaking out you two? Have a nice swim? You're grounded, you know."

Use your head not your a s s

Sari!!!!!!

Oh god not another Isaac Bullshit "Invention"

Oh jesus christ

Bee confirmed for helm up aft 2020

Thank god Ratchet's a sensible mech.

"My dad's equipment is perfectly safe!!!!!" Sari. Sweetheart. You're smarter than this.

I'm sorry did this man make a fucking gravitron????

So. A ripoff of the TENS-Steroid implants by Goop Goopman.

Who is he testing on? His scientists???? I don't like this.

Oooookay. Here we go. This is what I've been saying for like a week. The "bio" in bioengineering has to come from somewhere, and if the "engineering" portion is coming from shady sources already, this is definitely not the first time that Isaac has essentially bought himself a test subject.

Neeno Sexton?? THATS RATBOYS FUCKING NAME HUH ASDFHJKL

So he's going to have Sexton STEAL the sample? How does he do things like this? Does he also have a contract/payoff stacked on Detroit PD?

Holoforms?????? Canon freaking holoforms?????????????

Bee honey no

So lemme get this straight. Isaac gave rat-boy/Neeno Sexton the suit. But no instructions? Is he just taking what he wants for now?

Here comes the WeeWoo Crew

And thus begins the tale of Nanosec, snarky speedy rat boy.

Him running into Bee is fucking hilarious.

"It makes you look ten years older" wtf?

Oh god he isn't also about to become Goo is he???

I remeber learning about muscles and electricity and movement and shit. If you use past a certain amount of your total strength you can like... liquify yourself. Oh god. This show already pulls no punches please god no.

Prowl!!!!! The boy is here!!!

Mans got his foot stomped on and let go?????

Bee has to fucking s t o p omfg

Bulkhead being a Big Strong Boy! Look at him go I'm so proud!!

MEGATRON KENOBI HAS JOINED THE CHAT.

"I'm nobody's errand boy.... unless?"

Okay so I'm not surprised that the MegIsaac brain trust at Sumdac Systems is wiring a felony money from isaac's personal finance account(s) after everything I've been shown thus far. I am, however, surprised that Megatron is taking the lead on giving it to him? What???

Thats.... a lot of money.

Bee boy running laps!!!! :0

Awww he just wants to go fast ;_;

"Upgrade me" "I'd rather die, thanks."

So Nanosec is really doing this huh

Oooo I was wondering where the key was these last few eps.

Oil slick???? The fuck? OP did you just-

Ohmygod it's the Orange Slippy Gel from Portal 2

Prime noooooo

Wait didn't he lose his grapplers to Lockdown?

These two being buddies is so fucking wholesome I stg

"Where'd you get the duit" yes tell himmmmmm

BEE NO. COME OOON MAN

Welp, here lies Sari and Bumblebee. We hardly knew ye.

OP saving the day!!!!

U n o R e v e r s e C a r d

Ayyyy Ratchet back at it again with the telekinesis.

The suit is aging him. I was right goddamnit here comes the Goo-

Desdronium is highly radioactive if that small an amount can do that there Big Bang. They hired him to steal what is now, essentially, a fission bomb.

"Didn't you use to be a redhead?" my boy paying attention!!!

Ratchet out here putting the braincell to work!

I've realized that in this series Bee kind of has like... himbo energy? He doesn't necessarily fit the Himbo Formula but he is Big Friendly and Mad Brainless and I love him

No time to get rid of the boosters. Big oof. OP is p i s s e d

Bumblebee got his Braincell privileges back!!!

GET DUNKED ON RATBOY

Oh ok wow Nanosec really does not age well.

Oh god the nuke!!!!

Oh no. I'm getting Avengers 1 Vibes. Please dont kill my sons??

Remember, kids: say YEET to nuclear explosives!!

Oh he dead

Ope nope there he is!!! ...aaand now hes on fire nvm.

Look at my bots working together!!!

He's DEAD

Oh thank god no hes okay.

"How did Nanosec get the Turbo Suit?" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW

HE DIDN'T NOTICE???? HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MISSING???? THIS WAS ALL FUCKING MEGATRON????

OR THE MONEY? HE NEVER LOOKED AT HIS ACCOUT AND WENT

"HUH WIERD THERES A MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS MISSING AND ALSO BAIL PAID TO/FOR THIS GUY??"

I'M SO FUCKING MAD. HE CANNOT BE THIS DUMB. HE DOESN'T SUSPECT MEGATRON AT A L L

I would like everyone to know I typed "Kegatron" right now i accident and laughed so hard u bad an asthma attack.

Look at bb boy walking.

Okay. Less mad now. Dear god. What the fuck my good dudes.

When i first joined this fandom the first peice of fanart I saw was a R e a l l y Kinky peice of megatron, and the only thing that I thought was "ah yes, a fandom thats kinkier than me."

kinky fandom Located

The time I went on dark energon

I was in the bar of the nemesis I didn’t notice that Starscream slipped dark energon into my high grade I took a sip and I started to cough and wheeze I eventually passed out. I woke up in the med bay to see my sparkmate Knockout.

“Thank primus your awake I was st-“ he paused when he saw my oval like optics purple same with my bio lights he backed up “What??” I asked

“Well let’s see your optics and bio lights are purple! And your on dark energon!” He explained “Hm. That’s why I feel powerful enough to kill Megatron.” I smirked

“R-Radioactive don’t anything like that please.” He stuttered I chuckled and grabbed his faceplate making really close to mine “Try me!” I smirked

He got out of my grasp and shuddered “You take creepy to whole new level.” He sighed “Oh I know.” I smirked as I walked out of the med bay.

“Commander Radioactive Lord Megatron requires your assistance.” A vehicon said “Oh?” I said turning around so the vehicon could see my optics “C-Commander your optics!” The vehicon said pointing them.

“Ah yes my optics as you can see I’m on dark energon and I feel wonderful!” I smiled. The vehicon gulped and ran off.

I walked to Megatron’s throne “My Lord a vehicon said you requested my assistance??” I asked

Megatron took one look at my optics and chuckled “It seems Starscream did what I told him to do.” “W-What??” I asked.

“Don’t you see Radioactive your not fit to be my SiC anymore you’ve been failing missions more than usual!” He growled

I nodded “I know Master I can do better and I feel amazing on dark energon so this failed as a punishment.” I smirked

Megatron growled “Don’t get smart with me your a medic nothing else now get out of my sight!” “But you said you needed my assistance!” I said

“I can do it myself now get!” He yelled. I ran off and went to the flight deck the rest day was chaos

The end

Feb 7 Blurr’s Horror Stream - IT

Only Blurr and Soundwave showed up. The stream kinda stopped being IC halfway through.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Peek.* B l u r r: / Here he is. Arriving in all of his pirate style / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Will follow in and park himself. No minis tonight. Rumble and Frenzy are on balcony washing duty.* B l u r r: [[ okay. got my foood. I haven't eaten all day yikes ]] B l u r r: / wiggles claws at Soundwave / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Bob bob.* B l u r r: Good to see you, as usual. B l u r r: mechlets busy today, hn? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Mechs, full. And, yes. They're busy seeing the error of their recent ways.]] B l u r r: Oh? Punishment, hnn? K-Kyehehheh. Got into trouble? B l u r r: [[ lemme know when y'all are ready! ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ready whenevs)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Quite a bit.]] B l u r r: A pity. I certainly hope they're easy to educate? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Sometimes.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[This particular incident's a bit of a repeat. Work in progress.]] B l u r r: Ah, a repeat offense, then? K-Kyeheheh. B l u r r: They'll learn eventually, I'm sure. So long as the punishment is something they hate. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You'd think that.]] B l u r r: Do they enjoy getting punished then? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You'd think that.]] B l u r r: / shrugs slightly/  Teaching is a concept I'm well versed in, though I admit, not EVERY mech is able to be educated. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[In truth, he would not change them too much. But he would prefer they targeted someone other than him.]] B l u r r: Ahh... pranked you, hn? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Mhm.]] B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Well, that's not /so/ bad. BoneAndHook: ((what is this?)) B l u r r: [[ In the Heights ]] B l u r r: [[ it makes me an emotional meSS but here we are ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He's considering turning the tables on at least one of them. Rumble is typically the ringleader. A dating application for him might be amusing.]] B l u r r: K-Kyehheeheh. You want to prank them back? Sounds amusing. I've got down time. If you need some help with that. BoneAndHook: ((feel free to start, i'm not feeling up to hauling a structie in at the minute but i might later in the movie)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Turns his head to the side. He's... not so sure he wants help from a murderer like Blurr.* B l u r r: [[ okie dokie. ] B l u r r: / Hey, a murderer and then some. / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Especially after the talk with Prowl.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...He'll think about it. But he should be capable of it himself.]] B l u r r: / shrugs a shoulder / If you'd like. B l u r r: We're currently in a lull. Stocking up on supplies before our next chase. B l u r r: We've got quite the lead on a relic, you see. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What relic would that be?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *If he hears one more person talk about the blasted Covenant...* B l u r r: Hnnh... what was it called? B l u r r: / fiddling through datapads / The speed ring was one thing... then we located another. Some sort of... giant hammer from Malgus. ItsyBitsySpyers: *THAT?* [[Good luck with that one.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Try not to let yourself get boxed in.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soft huffing.* B l u r r: K-KYAHAHAHA!! I'm not that idiot. B l u r r: I wouldn't get stuck. Besides... if it's not worth grabbing, there are /other/ things in that universe. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[There are.]] B l u r r: [[ honestly tho like is this what people do in these back country towns? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Vent snort.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((well i mean the story was originally set in the 50s, paper boats -were- a thing)) B l u r r: [[... true. i am a fool ]] B l u r r: [[ captions are okay, right? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((captions are very helpful)) B l u r r: [[ okie! ]] B l u r r: / snort / I hear their Magnus is out of commission anyway... B l u r r: Now the hammer sits in the hands of some... idiot. Or was it Optimus? I can't recall. B l u r r: [[ this guy deserves an award 4 how creepy he is ]] BoneAndHook: ((he does)) B l u r r: [[ cause i am terrified of clowns ] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((well you're in for fun tonight)) B l u r r: [[ but IT never scared me ??? Like. IDK B l u r r: Maybe it's because I know he's not really a clown?? ] B l u r r: [[ ALSO IM SORRY BUT Have you guys seen the freaking second take of this scene?? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Startled.* BoneAndHook: ((YES)) B l u r r: [[DSNFKADFS ]] B l u r r: [[ THE ONE WHERE HE GETS THE BOAT? ?] ] BoneAndHook: ((yes lmao)) B l u r r: [[ I was wheezing. ]] B l u r r: [[ ' shiit ' ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Does Earth have an Underworld of its own?]] B l u r r: Earth? Not that I know of... B l u r r: Well... I do know of SOME places. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Such as?]] B l u r r: Well, there's been a few anomolies we've detected. B l u r r: I know that the Earth in my universe has a belief of the Underworld, but there's so many different things people believe. B l u r r: [[ oh my god I thought that was the actor for Carl Grimes for ten seconds and I was like wHAT ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Rude.]] B l u r r: But, I /have/ found something. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Go on.]] B l u r r: It's a little hard to get to, but if you give me some time... I could show you. B l u r r: I bet you would enjoy it. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Possibly. He's willing to see what it is.]] B l u r r: I've been there only once. It was a complete mistake. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And?]] B l u r r: It's something I think you would like. B l u r r: It has a lot of... color. B l u r r: / wiggles claws/ and music! B l u r r: [[ oh hELL NAH KID RUN ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Is it that tiny alternate toy of his.]] B l u r r: No no. B l u r r: It's an Earth I've never been to before. B l u r r: We stopped by to seek out some resources, but I ended up getting into a bit of trouble. B l u r r: What else is new, right? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Huff.* B l u r r: / smirks and leans forward / But this place. Well, if you're into music, you'd love it. Even /I/ liked the way it looked. B l u r r: And, you know me, I'm a fan of dark and gloomy. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Are you going to hint all night or do you intend to tell him?]] B l u r r: [[ I am A) not used to seeing this kid outside of Stranger tThings and B) not used to the glasses ]] B l u r r: ... Well, I don't know what it's CALLED. B l u r r: They call it the Land of the Dead. Very typical. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[-No.-]] B l u r r: No? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No. He goes nowhere the dead rule.]] B l u r r: Oh, please. They don't RULE. B l u r r: They just... it's like a whole city. B l u r r: They even have jobs. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Suspicious as all hell.* B l u r r: Listen, I don't usually go where the dead walk either, but it isn't something as scary as it seems. B l u r r: Or unsettling. Whatever you'd like to call it. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Corrupted.]] B l u r r: That, too. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((also: stream ded)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((pennywise too scary, gave up the ghost)) B l u r r: [[ i pause it ]] B l u r r: [[ is it back? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ye)) B l u r r: [[ its good, yeah? ]] BoneAndHook: ((lagging tho. only JUST paused)) B l u r r: [[ want me to reset it ? ]] BoneAndHook: ((nah, it's technically looking okay)) B l u r r: [[ lemme know if it isn't ]] B l u r r: [[ it's dropping it isnt it? ]] BoneAndHook: ((no, it's fine)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((sorry i had to grab drink)) B l u r r: [[ no worries. Welcome back! ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Irreverent, isn't he.]] B l u r r: I suppose. B l u r r: [[ it's a no for me, dog. I would not go in there ] B l u r r: [[ not without two bottles of pink fairies and a sword ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Armor clamps down.* B l u r r: / reaches over and pat / ItsyBitsySpyers: **Human terrorcons. No better than their own kind.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *SMACK the hand away. Do not touch.* B l u r r: / B( / B l u r r: / wiggles claws at and settles back in seat / B l u r r: [[ eW ??? fsbhgjsf EW ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((creepo)) B l u r r: [[ so gross ]] B l u r r: [[ I always hated her dad, too fbgjkfdss ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Why is that on the television.]] B l u r r: who knows? Human television is weird. B l u r r: [[ awww she's cute with short hair ]] BoneAndHook: ((giiirl nooooo don't put it in the sink, it's gonna clog the drain and then you have filthy nasty wet hair clogging it up)) B l u r r: [[ i knoooow it's gross ]] B l u r r: [[ true horror of the night: the government shut down again ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lord)) BoneAndHook: ((at least they can pass fewer shiitty laws while they're closed)) B l u r r: [[ truth ] BoneAndHook: ((i like that wild musical interlude)) B l u r r: [[ yesss ]] B l u r r: [[ they aged the kids up for this movie, eh? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((no idea)) B l u r r: [[ Honestly, I haven't read the book in so long, so I dunno ]] BoneAndHook: ((don't put your eye over the talking drain ffs)) B l u r r: [[ nah fam. nAH ]] BoneAndHook: ((don't you know what's down there? HAIR)) B l u r r: EW DONT OPEN YOUR MOUTH  ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((god this grosses me out so bad)) B l u r r: [[ IM SORRY ;A; ]] BoneAndHook: ((ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh.)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lmao it's okay)) B l u r r: [[ to be fAIR I have never seen this ]] B l u r r: [[ i mean not this version ]] BoneAndHook: ((and both of us have lmao)) B l u r r: [[ oh yeah , i forgot. lmao ]] BoneAndHook: ((there's something in this movie for everyone and FOR ME IT'S HAIR)) B l u r r: [[ i thought something was going to go in her eye tbfh ]] B l u r r: [ i had a leg up in defensE ]] BoneAndHook: ((i had an arm up to block it and i still gagged lmao)) B l u r r: [[ big mood ]] B l u r r: [[ NAH FAM I SAW THIS PART IN A PREVIEW NAH THIS IS SOME CLOWNERY ]] BoneAndHook: ((if i had been in her place i would have just. thrown up the moment the tape measure came up with hair on it. just. straight into the sink. it would have been like "the FVCK")) B l u r r: [[ truth ]] B l u r r: [[ how do people take him seriously with the goofy eyes. He got TFP Megatron eye syndrome ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((it's supposed to be extra alienating or somethin)) B l u r r: [[ im wheezing ]] BoneAndHook: ((yeah it helps give IT away as a lure rather than a real person)) B l u r r: [[ i like it. ]] B l u r r: [[ but i keep snorting ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((nobody's gonna bribe the kid on the steps to shush?)) B l u r r: [[ first of all, they are cleaning all of that wrong ]] BoneAndHook: ((didn't the kid come in with them?)) B l u r r: [[ nah richie is outside ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((no no there was richie as lookout but also some kid on the steps)) B l u r r: [[ ooh. ]] BoneAndHook: ((no the one who was waiting on the steps, i thought i saw them get up and follow them in. i wasn't paying attention to which one it was)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i'm not sure now)) B l u r r: [[ she's a cute kid ]] B l u r r: [[ just drop ur bikes in the street wtf ] B l u r r: [[ i can't fdbkda ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((HELL NO not this)) B l u r r: [[ is there a thing i should know? ]] BoneAndHook: ((yes. hold onto ur seat.)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((literally)) B l u r r: [[ gsbhjfksd ]] B l u r r: [[ thats not helpful ]] BoneAndHook: ((here we go)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((*crawls under blanket*)) B l u r r: [[ see, i can dig this version of this movie a lot ]] B l u r r: [[ I appreciate its appeal ]] B l u r r: [[ bRO WHY WOULD YOU GO ]] B l u r r: [[ nah faqm im good fjks ]] BoneAndHook: ((u just know IT heard "scared of clowns" and went "oh this one's gonna be so easy")) B l u r r: [[ me tbh ]] BoneAndHook: ((me getting out of bed in the morning)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((LMAO)) B l u r r: [[ LMAO ] B l u r r: [[ well, don't be scared of it, u fool ]] B l u r r: [[ u go, bill. u fight that *** ]] B l u r r: [[ he is not gonna shoot that fuccking cat, is he ]] B l u r r: [[ im gonna scream ]] B l u r r: [ please tell me if he does or not because i can't watch that shyte. ]] BoneAndHook: ((i don't remember if he gets it)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((iirc no)) BoneAndHook: ((... notice we see this weirdass show in the houses of abusive parents)) B l u r r: [[ right ? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((didn't catch that before)) B l u r r: [[ why would u hide in the bathroom ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((so you can do that)) B l u r r: [[wow guess who missed all of that ] B l u r r: [[ because this dang woman had to yell at me to put one fuckking bowl away ]] BoneAndHook: ((you can rewind if you want)) B l u r r: [[ nah it's fine ]] BoneAndHook: ((dad followed her into the bathroom, she was hiding behind the tub curtain)) B l u r r: [[ i saw up to when she hit him ]] BoneAndHook: ((he fell down and died, she tried to walk out the bathroom door, IT grabbed her throat)) B l u r r: ahh ]]] BoneAndHook: ((we cut to bill out in the park, probably waiting for bev, but she doesn't come so he goes to her house. finds dad dead in the bathroom and YOU DIE IF YOU TRY written on the ceiling in blood)) B l u r r: got it ]] BoneAndHook: ((and now the avengers are assembling and you're caught up)) B l u r r: [[ sweet ]] B l u r r: thank ]] B l u r r: [[ well this shows his collection and hideout better ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((what's really behind slendy's mask)) BoneAndHook: ((LMAO)) BoneAndHook: ((it's an accurate amount of teeth)) B l u r r: lmaooo ]] B l u r r: [[ thats stanley. Always causing issues. ]] B l u r r: [[ i remember that from the book ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((CRIMINY, CATS DID YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE THIS MOMENT TO BOTH STARTLE)) B l u r r: [[ omg ]]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((hfff i'm so tired but i wanna see the rest)) B l u r r: [[ it says it's almost over ]] BoneAndHook: ((we're close!!)) BoneAndHook: ((i was so terrified that georgie wasn't going to start moving again)) B l u r r: [[ omg ]] BoneAndHook: ((i was like "oh no what if IT left him alive as bait and he kILLED THE REAL ONE")) B l u r r: [[ right? ]] B l u r r: [[ *has flashbacks to boggarts* ]] B l u r r: [[ Sequel is this or next year I think ]] B l u r r: [ anywaYS. Thanks for dealing with me for a lil while with the horror filmies. Next week is horror aND cute ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yaaaay)) B l u r r: [[ HOPEFULLY I can squeeze both in. ]] B l u r r: [[ neither movie is terribly long ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((we shall see! but for now.... zzz)) B l u r r: [[ but thank y'all for coming! ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yw!)) B l u r r: <3 ]] BoneAndHook: ((ty for hosting!))

Shrek Retold

Starscreamapillar I feel like I may have regrets attending tonight's stream. Me You too? thenightetc Hello! No regrets, only amusement. Starscreamapillar This placeholder image is not filling me with confidence. Me It's very slowly coming this way. Me Here we go! ThebesAce hello! thenightetc settles in Me Hello, Thebes human! Just in time! Me Off to a great start. Starscreamapillar Indeed... thenightetc ...Interesting thenightetc I don't know why I'm surprised by the All Star cover Starscreamapillar I am sure a lot of work went into this nonsense. Me I'm sure a great number of people are experiencing...something resembling pride?

thenightetc glAARHG Me You know what would go perfectly with this? Steam! Me So, so much Steam. thenightetc Is that a tellytubby Starscreamapillar I do not generally partake, but you are absolutely right. thenightetc I forgot about that part Me Is...is that a diaper? thenightetc Maybe? thenightetc Saw a post pointing out that he hesitates before saying his name, as though making it up on the spot Me Seems believable. Starscreamapillar There are not enough drugs in any universe to make this make sense. Me Not in all the universes combined. thenightetc uh Wow, somebody really likes Ren and Stimpy Me I never would have guessed. Me We are ten minutes in and I feel like I've blown a massive circuit. thenightetc Yeah Starscreamapillar Has it only been ten minutes? thenightetc god Me I like the bursts of talent, like glimmers of light and air. thenightetc I'm just waiting them to pronounce it "fuckwad" Me If they don't, I'm going to be hideously disappointed. thenightetc you know what, I forgot there was a waterboarding scene Me Shronk. Starscreamapillar It is just too disjointed and weird to comment on. All you can do is watch. Me You took the words out of my mouth. thenightetc in which Shrek is all of us Me I keep reaching for commentary, but it's like watching a formation of fliers plummet towards the ground. You just...can't look away.

Starscreamapillar What can even be said? I cannot comment on their ineptness, because it was on purpose. thenightetc (Thebes is having browser problems, they should be knocking to get back in soon) Me They knew exactly what they were doing. Every second of this was someone's conscious decision. I'll keep an optic out! Dear Unicron. ThebesAce whaaaat Starscreamapillar There is no explaining it. thenightetc God ThebesAce Scream yourself awake nightmare faces: the movie Me Scream, scream, and know that no help is coming. Starscreamapillar You plan on sleeping again, after this? Me Never. Me Megatron eyes. Starscreamapillar Somehow more terrifying here. thenightetc uh thenightetc UH Me I thenightetc i'm uncomfortable Me This is an exercise in...something. Starscreamapillar Madness? Me That works. Me The sound of my dying neural circuits. thenightetc I don't like that character model Me Nothing about any of this is alright. thenightetc And its nudity Actually, with the fur it's more like a fur suit with... cutouts. Me .....Cutouts. Starscreamapillar I am strongly considering getting Prime to rip my face off, to spare me having to know I watched this. Me I imagine this is what getting your face ripped off by Prime would feel like, but for two hours. Starscreamapillar Probably. Me Elementary Cybertronian? Starscreamapillar Miniconish? ThebesAce So I'd just like to point out that this might be a deliberate form of torture DISGUISED as a movie thenightetc I'd believe it Me I wouldn't trust either side with this movie. Starscreamapillar Can this be called a movie, and not an assortment of nightmares? Me Assortment of nightmares, I like that. thenightetc Heh. ThebesAce WELL Starscreamapillar At least someone apologized. Me One down, 199 to go. Starscreamapillar Somehow, the strange delivery does nothing to dilute how stupid this trope is. Me It really doesn't. thenightetc Ah, the big misunderstanding for drama thenightetc *irritated sighing* Starscreamapillar No.... Me I, for one, am learning so many new things about fear. Starscreamapillar He just keeps going... Me It just won't stop. Starscreamapillar This thing never ends. ThebesAce Y'know what? If there's a hell, this is probably footage of it Me This is the innermost layer of the Pit. thenightetc Actual good animation! DOES IT NOW. Me At least pretend to care. Me I think that may have been the worst segment. Even the ugliest had some passion in them. Me ...I think I like this cover. Starscreamapillar Even the one with the guy explaining how he never saw a movie he'd seen hundreds of times? Me That one had the word Shrelb. Starscreamapillar Aah, fair. thenightetc Well, that was all... something. Starscreamapillar Something. Yes. Me That was an experience. I'm not sure whether we're better for it. Me I feel like I've lost something I can't get back. Starscreamapillar I do not feel better for suffering through that. Me I'm letting the credits run because I wouldn't put it past them to throw one last nightmare face at us. Starscreamapillar I have exploded from the inside out, and it hurt marginally less than this. thenightetc Ouch. I'll take your word for that. Me I was going to say I'd take the subway train over another run of this, but I think you have me beat. Starscreamapillar I cannot recommend the experience. Me The human who sang Hallelujah haunts my mind. I sincerely can't tell whether he was in on it or not. Or if he even knew where he was. Starscreamapillar He knew that she was a shrek, though. He was certain of that. Me Very certain. Starscreamapillar He had the movie at home. So he knew. Me Alright, then! Onto our usual light note. thenightetc Whew. Me A much better reanimated work. thenightetc Oh! 😀 Me More astonishing than horrifying. thenightetc "Their" finance Me How oddly progressive for humans? They really get a kick out of the third one being fat. thenightetc Oh god it's a.... whatchacallit Those pillow things Starscreamapillar No one will ever know when you shout it like that. thenightetc GAH Me That sure did happen. Starscreamapillar What was the moral here? Me .... thenightetc Don't go into pubs. Me Anyway! Thank you all for not fleeing five minutes into this! thenightetc Well, thank YOU for hosting! Starscreamapillar I have regrets that I did not, but thank you for hosting, all the same. thenightetc I'd say something about repaying you someday but I think under the circumstances that would sound a little sinister. Me If you ever get your hands on something that tops this for nightmare fuel, I'll take my medicine and humbly attend. thenightetc Heh. ThebesAce *begins compiling list* Starscreamapillar Ominous. thenightetc Hey, here's something apparently worse than Leo the Lion! Me Is there, now? thenightetc "Son of Aladdin" Me Ohhh dear. ThebesAce oh yeah, that one thenightetc Disclaimer: I haven't seen it Me ....No, no trailers. If it ever happens, I'd like to go in blind. ThebesAce It has no highs in quality. Shockingly, it just is an entire downhill slide thenightetc Good idea. Me That's always worked out well before. thenightetc It kinda does. Starscreamapillar Worked out, perhaps. Well might be stretching it. thenightetc ...Huh. "What the HELL are Gun Safety Cartoons? " Same guy as the first video up on this list ThebesAce I'm actually a fan of this guy. He subjects himself to terrible, terrible things for our amusement. Most recent? Furry Noah's Ark thenightetc Oh, I saw that! I mean, his what-the-hell-is video Me That one is dripping with sexual tension between the Jason Priestly human and Eddie. Don't ask me how I know. Starscreamapillar . . . thenightetc How, uh.... how do you know? Me ... thenightetc "with a GUN" thenightetc eagle eyes, huh? so he's a SNIPER Me Eddie Eagle's far too proud of his kill count. thenightetc "Peeping into people's houses" Starscreamapillar Spying in people's houses, on their children. Me And coming in through the window. Hah! thenightetc God How long was he watching them, exactly...? Starscreamapillar And their father beat them for creeping around his room. thenightetc Pffff "Glorious" Uh Starscreamapillar Why.... thenightetc Wow, he wasn't kidding Me Oh my. thenightetc oh my god thenightetc Ah, the gun part of the brain Me The gun lobe. Me Officer Few Bad Apples will make you disappear if you don't toe the line. thenightetc *feels bad for laughing at that, thank you* Me I've done my job. thenightetc Okay, the captain's wearing pants, but the lion isn't Me It's that kind of cruise. thenightetc I bet there's a more R-rated redraw of that exact scene Me For the record, this is the version with Jason Priestly human licking Eddie over the phone. Starscreamapillar . . . Licking? thenightetc Licking? Me Well, no, but there's definitely something going on there. Starscreamapillar Born with that awful shirt on. thenightetc Already wearing a shirt And his mom has hair. Me That qualifies as a congenital defect. Starscreamapillar Five, or six. He should really know how many there were. thenightetc A file cabinet thenightetc That's where she keeps the proof Me My turn to laugh and feel vaguely bad about it. Starscreamapillar Grandma did not question the giant eagle. thenightetc Where are their parents Starscreamapillar They were shot. thenightetc A whole playground full of future Batmans Me Now their children are legally owned by the NRA. thenightetc "Dad! Someone put a gun in your closet!" Me "And some videos about sailors!" Starscreamapillar Now I know what to do when I find a gun. thenightetc JOSHUA AND THE PROMISED LAND. I saw that one! Me Is it as bad as the thumbnail's suggesting? thenightetc I mean, the video on the list, there It looks amazing. We should watch the actual movie sometime See? It just jumps right in Me In that case, I'll spoil nothing for myself. Starscreamapillar I have already seen too much. thenightetc I think it'll be one of those descent-into-madness things Me We can never have enough of those. thenightetc Just standing around with his dick out. Me We all know what you did on this cruise. thenightetc Eyyyyyy. thenightetc God, that crowd is so low-effort Me They look agonized. thenightetc What was their budget for this, $20 and a six-pack? Me I'd believe it. thenightetc Again, everyone but him is wearing pants Me Lion Daren has a lot of nerve to judge considering he spent his vacation face deep in poppers and Hurricanes. Starscreamapillar He dares to show everyone his genitals. Starscreamapillar Enhance. Attract. Receive. Me Well, just look at you. thenightetc That sounds like a slogan for some kind of multi-level marketing scam Starscreamapillar The enternet. Me Please, please tell me Cabear is a series. thenightetc "We'll have a talk with your uncle Tony. He'll make them 'disappear'." thenightetc Off to the races. That'd be the horse races. Me Got his success hat on. Me His parents will give him pep talks and get Uncle Tony involved, but won't consider buying him new shirts. I'd actively encourage Impact to bully this child. Starscreamapillar As he should be. Me Apparently, Cabear was too good to last. Starscreamapillar He was just too hard to expertly animate. Me The bullies rolled him into their car after school and drove away and he was never seen again. Starscreamapillar They mailed his terrible hat to his parents. Me Really, it was for the best. Me Well, I certainly can't think of anything to top Cabear. thenightetc Power of the Pen? Me Oh! thenightetc What... is that Me I want a talking pen. I was expecting this and I want this. thenightetc Less entertaining than anticipated Starscreamapillar Get a microcon, and have it take a pen as its alt mode. Me Make my own anti-bullying short in the time it takes the enforcers to arrive. thenightetc So does Captain McFin eat bullies Is that a slide Underwater? Me Be as entertaining as Cabear! ThebesAce Underwater is a nebulous concept in cartoons. They BARELY tried here Me This is the new standard I hold all media to. Me If there had been a series, I promise you, we would be watching every one right now. I'm very invested in this. Starscreamapillar This feels strongly like that horse show... thenightetc Sigh. thenightetc Why did they look surprised Me Greta, just eat the other vicious. thenightetc Why does Greta, the largest fish, not simply eat the others Me Then double in size and cover herself with tiny suitors who fuse with her and melt away until their gonads are all that's left. thenightetc I get the message here, but that's still not how underwater works thenightetc Neither is that Me That's not how any of this work. Especially bullying. Starscreamapillar Is that one fish dead? Me That one's free. Me ...That one down in the corner is haunting me with those eyes. I'm not clicking it. Not happening. Starscreamapillar You know you will. thenightetc Stop looking at us with those big ol eyes Me You got me. Me GAAAH! thenightetc Taht's not uncanny or anything That bird actually looked good! What gives thenightetc Did they spend all their budget on the bird? Me Why can't we have a short starring the bird and no one else? thenightetc Unconvincing takeoff, though Starscreamapillar That child is going to be murdered. thenightetc Jesus, his hair looks like a pile of leaves Danse Macabre? Me Oh dear. thenightetc Human necks definitely turn like that thenightetc I'm starting to think this is just someone's art project and not a PSA per se Me I hope their grade was bad. Me Unless they were being graded on the bird. I liked that bird. Well, that was dull. thenightetc Huh. Me There. We're ending tonight on the bird. Starscreamapillar Perfect. thenightetc Yes. Me Have a glorious rest of the evening, everyone! thenightetc You, too! And thank you for hosting all this. Starscreamapillar Until next time.

There was recently a big reveal with a cryptocurrency scam involving faze clan and logan paul pushing it on their viewers and that sounds exactly like something megatron would do.

He'll either: doesn't get found out = money or does but it's free clout. I see this as an absolite win

smooth groovy music begins playing

The camera fades in and out of focus. A small and brightly-lit plush giraffe becomes visible.

“this is Topper,” Megatron rasps. He gives her a shimmy. “beanie babies. the currency of the new age. she is worth a modest sum of 10,000.”

Starscream clears his intake offscreen. “My Lord? 10,000 what?”

“money,” Megatron says simply.

You can hear Starscream sharply inhale. Then you hear him sigh. “Alright. 10,000 ‘money’ for…”

Megatron pounds his fist on the desk. “For Topper!”

You can see the reflection of the camera in her big beady eyes.

Starscream struts into view. “How do we ship this, ah, 'new world order currency’ to the buyers?”

Megatron rubs his chin. “you deliver it.”

“Wait. Wait. No–!”

“yes. you are my beanie courier now.”

Starscream screams a little. “I am not flying that weird stuffed animal thing around! What’s the name of it again? Topar?”

“T O P P E R,” Megatron hisses. “she is called that because she is a giraffe–”

“Calm down!”

“–therefore she is tall–”

“I get it, my Lord, I do!”

“–you don’t 'get’ anything, you winged slut–”

“THIS IS WHY YOU ARE NOT FIT TO LEAD THE DECEPTICONS!”

“–she is 'topper’ because she nearly reaches. the. to'p’!” Megatron says, popping the “p” in “top.”

“Okay,” Starscream wheezes. “Just. Okay.”

“…also we missed her birthday.”

“The fuck?” Starscream cries.

“june 19th. says so on her tag. next year. mark your calendars, stream and Starscream!”

Knock Out walks into view. “My Lord, you said that there was somebody in need of urgent cosmetic care?”

“oh, indeed,” Megatron nods.

Knock Out laughs. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do something about your drab color scheme!”

Megatron shoves Topper into Knock Out’s servos. “make her presentable.”

Knock Out blinks. He then shudders. “My Lord?”

“that is right, stream!” Megatron stands up and throws his arms out as if he thinks he’s Christ the Redeemer. Maybe he thinks he is. “this is a special opportunity! i am creating a new world order with new world order currency! buy yourself favor in my new regime right here and right now. i am taking bets.”

Starscream ducks into a side room.

Moments later a chat appears.

Megan Ron: will pay $1 dollar

Megatron gasps. “you dare pay just one dollar? just one lone george washington? an object that has been touched by my talons is worth far more than that! at least 2!”

The chat whizzes by.

The computer pings as a new chat comes in.

Megan Ron: ah. correct. that’s not the right amount of money

Megatron smirks. “i’m glad that you’ve seen reason.”

Megan Ron: half dollar

Megatron begins to shake in rage. “you fool! you imbecile! what is your username–oh. oh? Megan Ron?”

Megan Ron: 'tis i

Megatron gulps. “you are here. and texting me. ah.” He covers the camera with his talon. “SOUNDWAVE. SOMEONE HACKED MEGAN AGAIN. FIND THEM. KILL THEM. Let it be known that no one gets away with hacking my Facebook! No one!” He turns and glares at Knock Out.

He is now fifty feet down the hall.

“KNOCK OUT WHY ARE YOU NOT ATTENDING TO TOPPER”

Knock Out runs back to the camera, gulps, and holds her into the light. He is visibly shaking. Topper shakes too.

Megatron nods. “i am going to go check on my hacked account–i mean, my devoted follower, Mrs. Ron. she is… not well.” He sprints off. Knock Out breathes out in relief and lets his arms fall to his side.

“CONTINUE PRESENTING MY BEANIE BABIES, KNOCK OUT”

He nods and complies. The next hour of the stream is just a wide-eyed and shaking Knock Out holding various Beanie Babies in front of the camera. You can hear him crying.