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inuyashaluver · 5 months

Note

would you ever write a jessie fleming x reader fic??? love ur work you carry woso tumblr

something more - jessie fleming

jessie fleming x reader

description: in which you’ve always wanted more out of your friendship with jessie, but maybe she’s willing to give that to you

warnings: kinda lonnggg

a/n: hiya! thanks for the request, also that’s the nicest thing ever, i did tear up at that literally thank you so much, the woso tumblr writers are truly phenomenal, enjoy!❤️

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you and your best friend, jessie fleming met during a friendly match between your national teams, canada and england. when you saw her for the first time, you have to admit, you thought she was beautiful. you were both midfielders, marking each other the whole game, you couldn’t help but flush a little red when she placed a hand on your lower back when you had the ball. good thing the air was cold.

england had won, you walked around to shake the hands of the canadian players when you felt a hand on your shoulder. “hey, (y/n) right?” you turn and face none other than jessie, your mouth slightly hangs open as she gives you a shy smile. “uh yeah! nice to meet you” she extends her hand for a handshake and you return it, her hands were so soft, you were star struck.

“well (y/n), good game, i hope to see you around” her smile never drops, her face is slightly red, she must be cold (nope). “yeah, you too, jessie” you smile at her and she waves goodbye at you. you watch her leave, her teammates teasing and shoving her. you tilt your head to the side, what was that reaction?

you turn to see majority of your team smiling at you, “what” you say, “nothing, nothing” leah says with a smirk, “alright girls, let’s get out of here” she comes up to you, putting a hand over her mouth as she whispers in your ear, “those pink cheeks aren’t fooling anyone, love” you shove her off you and run away, everyone laughing at your reaction.

—

you were signed to chelsea, you guys had training and were doing some light stretching for a warm up. you were doing partner stretches with your national teammate, niamh. you were helping her stretch when all of a sudden, a certain brunette walks through the door in a chelsea training kit, you drop niamh’s leg and she protests before following to where your eyes were.

your mouth was slightly agape, niamh hurriedly stood next to you and shut your mouth for you. “so she’s the new signing” niamh pointed out, looking at you worriedly because you hadn’t said anything. “how?” you breathe out, “well, my friend, she gets called by management and then comes here to sign a contract and boom! she’s here!” she mocks and laughs when you lightly slap her arm.

jessie was getting talked to by a member of staff when she makes eye contact with you. she smiles brightly and nods her head with a small wave. you smile back at her with a little wave, looking away when niamh was teasing you in the corner.

she quickly disperses when she sees jessie smiling and walking up to you.

“hey, (y/n)!” jessie pulls you into a tight hug, you hesitantly wrap your arms around her waist. “hey, jessie! nice to see you again” she pulls away from you, a bright smile spread on her face. “i didn’t know you were coming to chelsea” you say with a shy smile, “do you not want me here or something?” she remarks with a smirk.

“no no i do! i’m very happy you’re here!” you quickly grab her arm and she looks down at it, smiling, you let go thinking she was uncomfortable, missing her frown when you let go.

“i’m very happy you’re here too” she says shyly, you both smile at each other till you both get called for drills.

you partner up for drills, you can’t ignore the fact that jessie is extremely touchy with you. whether it was holding your arm, your hand or slinging an arm over your shoulder. you can’t help but lean into it every time, the affection feeling so natural and familiar to both of you.

the more you interacted with each other, the more you realised you had in common. she fit into the team well, but you couldn’t help but notice she didn’t interact with the others the way she did with you. sure she was extremely friendly, but she didn’t touch the others like she did with you, or talk to the others the way she did with you. you can’t help but wonder, maybe she felt somewhat the same? (obviously)

—

as the months turn into years, the two of you grow closer and closer. going out for lunches, buying each other little gifts, always partnering up during training, being the first to celebrate with on the pitch. you two had truly become best friends.

one day you were at training, absolutely exhausted, lying on the floor after a gruelling session. jessie comes and lies next to you, she places an arm under your head acting as a pillow, grinning when you lean into her more, sighing contemptly.

“what’s the plan now, (y/n/n)?” you move your head to look up at her to find she was already looking at you. “movie at mine?” you question, jessie immediately agreeing and pulling the both of you to stand up, slinging her arm over your shoulder while walking you to the change room.

niamh snickers when she sees you two sitting in your cubby, chatting. niamh sneaking a photo of the two of you and sending it to the lioness group chat - which you were in by the way!

“our little (y/n) is in love!” she texts under the photo, replies coming through quickly: “get it girlie!”, “holy shit”, “a canadian (y/n)? we could’ve gotten you a nice brit” you look at your phone and flush red, looking up at niamh across from you and flipping her off.

“you okay, babe?” jessie questions your frown, you nod your head at her with a smile, “yeah, let’s go now!” you quickly haul her up and shove her out the door, turning to niamh again, “you’re a little shit” you point your finger at her. she laughs brightly at you, waving at you and blowing you a kiss, “i love you!” niamh screams after you

—

you get to your house, jessie knew this place all too well, coming over nearly every day. you sat on one end of the couch while jessie lay her head in your lap. you were flicking through the movies trying to pick one to watch, jessie being no help, closing her eyes and sinking into your lap and couch.

you slot a hand through her hair and she hums at the contact, flipping over and nuzzling her head into your stomach, wrapping her arms around your torso and holding you close together. you embarrassingly let out a little squeak feeling her mouth graze your exposed skin where your shirt had ridden up. you can feel her grin into your stomach and you freeze when you feel her hand dip into the back of your shirt to trace light shapes with her finger on your lower back.

you were about to say something when you hear jessie’s phone ping on the coffee table. “read that for me?” she mumbles into your skin, groaning when you slightly lean forward to grab her phone. you freeze again, her wallpaper sending shivers down your spine, your mouth went dry.

her wallpaper was a candid photo of you wearing one of jessie’s hoodies when you got cold, her name “fleming” plastered on the front emblem over your heart and the back. you had such a happy smile on your face, pink cheeks evident on your face.

“babe?” she slightly pulls away from you, looking up at your shocked face, “you okay?” she questions, now removing herself from you and sitting up properly, holding your hand tightly. she only looks at your face until she sees what you’re looking at, her wallpaper.

“oh!” she starts worriedly, “sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, it’s just such a cute picture” she smiles sheepishly, going to let go of your hand but you hold her hand tighter.

all you could do was shake your head and look at her with blown out pupils. you quickly take out your phone out of your pocket and show your own wallpaper, a picture of her lifting you up in celebration as you hug her tightly. she grabs your phone from you and blushes as she inspects the photo, finally picking up the courage to look you in the eye.

“hi” you breathe out and she laughs brightly, “hey, beautiful” she returns with a grin. placing a gentle hand on your knee and absentmindedly running her thumb over it. “what are you thinking about, baby?” she questions, smiling at you encouragingly. “um” you breathe out shakily, gripping onto her hand tighter. “you” you swallow. she smiles at you, “oh yeah? what about me?” she whispers lowly, smirking at your flustered expression. you open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

“come on, baby, you can say it” she was always the one making the first move, wanting you to take over this time. she squeezes your lower thigh, giggling when you tense up. you avert your eyes from her, looking down at the coffee table, she ducks her head to follow your eyes and you instantly burn up.

“jessie” you start, “yeah, baby” she moves closer to you, nodding her head. “i like you” her eyes brighten and she smiles excitedly, “i like you too, ever since the friendly match, baby girl” you lightly shove her, “i told the girls before that i thought you were beautiful and they told me to make a move”

you decide to make a bold move and straddle her lap, she happily welcomes you and holds onto your hips, you were both completely flushed. “i was crushing on you majorly, fleming” she lightly pinches your waist, “i was more” she mocks, you shake your head at her with a grin, you move to whisper in her ear, “the lioness group chat is full of me and you, baby, everyone has been waiting for this” your lips lightly graze her ear and she grips your hips tighter, “you should see the canada one, baby” you both let out a laugh together, looking into each other’s eyes softly.

jessie’s eyes flicker between your own, occasionally falling to your lips. “can i kiss you, (y/n)?” giggling when you nod your head eagerly, she places a hand on your cheek and smiles at you again, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on your lips. suddenly feeling confident, you grab the back of her head and deepen the kiss by prodding your tongue on her bottom lip, your tongue moving with hers harmoniously. a small groan from the back of her throat comes out when you scratch her scalp with your nails, you whine into her mouth with a grin before pulling away from her.

you pull away breathlessly, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear with a soft smile. you held the sides of her neck with both of your hands and place a soft peck on her lips. she smiles up at you and pulls the back of your head down to return the favour.

“you’re so pretty” she nuzzles her nose with yours. you wrap your arms around her neck and pull her into a hug. “you’re so pretty” you say, squirming when you feel her place a kiss on your neck.

—

when you come into training the next day holding each other’s hands, the girls cheer for you and jessie holds your hand up victoriously. niamh comes up and steals you away, lifting you up and running around the field. “hell yeah, (y/n/n)! proud of you!” you laugh brightly when she places you on the ground. “we’ve gotta find someone for you now, missy” you say cheekily and chase her around the field, you stop when she holds up a water bottle threateningly, you run and hop on jessie’s back.

“save me, baby!” she holds onto your thighs and runs from niamh, niamh seeing your matching smiles leaves you both alone when she sees you having so much fun.

you stay on jessie’s back during the team talk, your arms wrapped around her neck, occasionally whispering in her ear and joking around with each other. both of you were so happy, mainly both of your friends who had seen you pining over each other for so long.

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liked by niamhcharles17 and 44,232 others

_jessflem: oh, we’re dating btw @/yourname

view all comments

yourname: my baby ❤️

↳ _jessflem: no MY baby

lionesses: finally!!

↳ canadasoccer: finally!!!!

niamhcharles17: finally

leahwilliamsonn: finally

yourname: i will block all of you

↳ _jessflem: ditto, baby

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso one shot #woso x reader #woso imagine #jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader

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strniohoeee · 5 months

Text

Broken

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is depressed, and Matt takes notice to her behavior. Matt being the good friend he is he tries to get her out of her funk, but will it work?🫂

Warnings⚠️: None just mentions of depression. This was a request but Tumblrs being a munch and not letting me add it

Song for the imagine: hope ur ok- Olivia Rodrigo

But, God, I hope that you’re happier today

Cause I love you

And I hope that you’re okay

It’s been getting worse. I hate this feeling, this darkness that consumes me. I wanted nothing more than to feel okay. I hate the way my depression swallowed me whole and made me want to disappear from the face of the earth.

I just wanted to feel okay, I wanted to feel normal and not drained. I know my friends were getting annoyed with me. I would slip into these phases of not wanting to talk to them, see them, go out with them. I mean I could barely get out of my bed to do anything. Often skipping meals and not drinking water. I would just sleep all fucking day and cry when I was awake.

I was fortunate enough to be an influencer, so I didn’t have to worry about actually getting up to work. I posted YouTube drafts and TikTok drafts. It worked for a while, but people started to catch on, and were wondering where I went. I couldn’t even be honest and come out and say I was so depressed I couldn’t even sit up in my bed.

The one person who noticed the fastest was Matt. Randomly one day he started texting me wondering how I was doing, what I was doing, if I wanted to hang out with him and his brothers, if I wanted to join them for dinner, if I wanted to film a video with them. I appreciated it truly, but I also kept lying to him. Telling him that I was busy or I had plans, or I was filming. I could not allow anyone to see me this way. I mean I didn’t even want to see myself this way…..

Matt had put me in a groupchat with Chris and Nick, and honestly it was making me feel better. They kept my mind off of things by constantly making me laugh. I mean they would text from 10AM till 2AM every single day.

The blue eyed freaks🧿🧿

-Y/N can you pleaseeeeee come hang out with us we haven’t seen you in like two months- Chris

-Idkkkk -me

-plzzzzz like you never hangout with us anymore-Nick

-yeah I’ve just been busy-me

-busy??? Yeah right not busy enough to not hang out with us- Chris

-hey if she doesn’t want to hangout don’t force her, but we do miss you and would love to see you-Matt

-thanks Matt🖤-me

-booooo boring come over now, or I’ll come pick you up-Chris

-you can’t even drive Chris-me

-okay….ill get matt to drive me to come pick you up-Chris

-fineeeeee okay fine I’ll be over in a hour-me

-FUCKKKKK FINALLY OMG YES- Chris

-see yall soon<3-me

I had gotten up and decided to shower, washing my hair and just really try to clear my mind, and enjoy the fact that I’m getting to see my friends again. I hadn’t been out of my house in a good month, and this was giving me major anxiety.

I felt like once they’d see me they would know I haven’t been okay, and that’s something that scared me. I had to seem okay. I was never the one who broke down… ever.

I hadn’t finished getting ready. At first I wanted to put on some makeup to hide my dark eyes, but I decided against it because I really wasn’t in the mood. I headed out, and drove to the triplets house. When I got there Matt texted me letting me know that the door was unlocked and to meet them in his room.

I let myself in and walked to Matt’s room.

“Y/N” Chris yelled coming over and hugging me

“Hi guys” I said laughing

“She’s aliveeee” Nick said hugging me

“How have you guys been?” I asked plopping myself down on Matt’s bed with them

“We’ve been good, just filming honestly” Matt said

“Nice that’s always fun” I said

“I love it so much truly, but how have you been?” Nick asked

“I’ve been good, you know. Just uhhh been busy” I said lying straight through my teeth

“Nice, what have you been doing” Matt asked

“Oh you know just filming and editing and just going out with some of my other friends” I said

“I love your hair color by the way, when did you dye it red?” Chris asked me

“Oh like two months ago I need to get my roots done actually” I said running my hands through my hair

“Two months ago? I thought this was recent all your TikTok’s and YouTube videos your hair was black” Matt said looking at me suspiciously

“Oh uhhh” was all I could manage because I knew Matt was onto me

“Okay anyways I’m hungry” Chris said breaking the awkwardness

“Me too” Nick said

“McDonald’s?” Chris asked

“Fuck yes” Matt responded

“Okay Matt can you pick it up for us” Chris said pleading

“Uhhh I guess i have too since yall can’t drive” he said rolling his eyes

“I can drive” I said smiling

“Yayyyy this is why I love you” Chris said

“I’ll mobile order it so it’s less stressful” Nick said

They all put in their orders, and they handed the phone to me. My anxiety making me nauseous and not really in the mood to eat

“Oh I don’t think I’m going to get anything” I said

“WHAT? McDonald’s is your favorite” Nick said

“Uhh yeah I’m just not in the mood” I said

“Do you want something else?” Matt asked

“No I’m not hungry” I said looking at him

Matt nodded before taking the phone, messing with it f and then handing it to Nick.

“Alright let’s head out” I said

“Nick and I want to stay back y’all can go though” Chris said

“Sneaky fucks” Matt said laughing

Matt and I had gotten into my car heading over to the McDonalds

“What’s really going on?” Matt asked

“What do you mean?” I asked glancing over at him

“I know you’re not okay” he said looking at me

“Matt I’m fine” I said

“No you’re not. Your eyes…..I can tell that you’re sad” he said

“I’m just tired is all” I said swallowing thickly

“Y/N be honest…are you okay?” He asked reading my face for an answer

My lip quivered, and a lump formed in my throat. Nobody has asked me if I was okay.

“No” I whispered out in a croak

“Talk to me” he said sitting up

“I just don't know. I’ve been so depressed lately. I haven’t been able to get out of my bed. I’ve just been posting drafts because I can’t even get up to film. I can’t even get up to drink or eat anything. I miss my parents, I miss home and I just feel so alone. You were the first person to text me, and you have helped me a lot actually. You inviting me over was the first thing I have done in a month” I said letting a tear fall

“I’m so sorry you feel that way. I love you so fucking much, and I knew something was wrong that’s why I reached out. I care for you so much, and I don’t want you to struggle alone. I’m here for you” he said looking at me with saddened eyes

“I appreciate it Matt truly. You’re amazing” I said looking over at him and smiling weakly

“Never allow yourself to struggle alone okay. Please reach out to me or Nick or even Chris as crazy as that seems. We will always be here for you….always” he said

“I will. I just was fighting with myself for so long I couldn’t reach out for help” I said wiping my tears

“And that’s okay. No ones pressuring you to reach out, but know that the option is there. I would never turn you away. You know I’ll come flying to you in a heartbeat” he said nudging my shoulder

“I know Matt. I love you so much thank you for being here for me” I said nudging him back

“Also I got you your favorite from McDonald’s. I’m making sure you eat. I can tell you haven’t eaten. I can see it in your face” he said

“Thank you Matt what would I do without you” I said smiling at him

“I’m not sure actually” he said

“Don’t get too cocky” I said pointing my finger at him

We laughed, and I pulled up to the drive thru. We got our food, and we headed back home

We got back to their house, and started to eat in the kitchen. Laughing and catching up. Matt occasionally looking over at me, giving me reassuring smiles and glances.

I spent the night at their house, and I slept in Matt’s room. We watched my favorite childhood movies as he kept asking me if I was okay, and taking small glances at me.

Eventually we ended up falling asleep.

What would I do without Matt?

The End

This was a request, but Tumblr is actually being a dickrider so it wasn’t letting me put it with my story. But anywho I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagines

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desertwritings · 1 year

Text

A BREAK FROM STUDYING

A Jimmy Mcgill/Saul Goodman x Cis Female reader Y/N fanfic?

TBH this is my first time posting my work on Tumblr so I’m still figuring out the formatting. This story is smut based... like heavily smutty and gross so you have been warned. If you like it enough for me to make it a series let me know!

NOW TAKING REQUESTS!

CONTAINS: age gap, daddy k!nk, cream pie, mild squirting, public(ish) sex.

CONTEXT: You have been working with Jimmy in the mail room for years now and have always had a puppy love schoolgirl sort of crush on him since you first met, but always thought it wasn’t reciprocated. Now, one night, he shows just how badly he’s wanted you this whole time while you try to study for the bar exam.

I only had another week left until the bar exam and I spent most of my time either working in the mailroom of HHM or studying in doc review. Howard had been supportive enough, allowing me extra time to focus on my studies, all while also paying for my school costs — even if it was just through the local community college. Go Suncats! Honestly, this had been the most support I had ever received. Maybe if I grew up having more support, I would be going to Harvard instead.

“Heya y/n.” I heard the familiar raspy and pitchy tone of Jimmy as he leaned in the doorway of doc review, where I hunched over a textbook, an empty coffee cup, and a tear-stained notebook.

“It’s like — almost midnight. What are you still doing here?” I asked, not taking my eyes off my pen and paper.

I heard his footsteps get closer and the chair beside me pull out and creek as he sat beside me. “I have my reasons.” He answers in a half-assed manner.

I turned to face him, the dim lamp highlighting his playful smile and I felt my core grow weak and mushy for him.

The first time I had met Jimmy Mcgill I was working in the mail room, trying to get a job as an assistant or a paralegal for one of the partners. Freshly twenty-three with a bright and optimistic view of the world — full of drive and childish ambition. I was so focused on work and starting classes that I hadn’t taken any time to unwind — let alone care about boys or dating or anything like that. But the first time I met the mysterious brother to Chuck Mcgill, I’ll admit it was like I became a sappy, sick puppy dog. Sure, he was older — a little bit of a loser. But I was weak for the funny pathetic underdogs. Not to mention he was flirty and funny and fed into my childish delusions of how I could “fix him.” I flirted back, wore short skirts, wore the hoop earrings he complimented once, and wore my hair loose and fun. I tried. But for some reason, it never went past harmless office flirtation. I assumed maybe it was the age difference. Maybe he was uncomfortable with being with someone as young as me. Maybe he was just trying to do the right thing but not giving in to temptation with me.

Now I was almost twenty-seven, and though the schoolgirl crush had dulled a little, there were times when I would catch myself looking at him like he could move heaven and earth. Like in this moment as he sat next to me in the dimly lit document room. So I cleared my throat and turned back to the papers in front of me.

“Admit you just missed me.” I teased as the smallest of smiles tugged on the corners of my lips.

“Objection. That’s hearsay.” He teased back, leaning closer as he slid my favorite energy drink across the table with a single finger — the condensation leaving a small streak of liquid on the wood top. “Some of us went out for drinks, and I noticed you weren’t there. Ernesto said you were here studying.”

“Yeah, yeah he came and asked if I wanted to go but —” I shrugged, motioned to all the school work displayed in front of me.

“You work too hard. You should take a break and come back out with us.”

He carefully takes the pen from my fingers, puts the cap back on and sets it aside. It was a subtle and simple thing he did but I felt my skin grow warm.

“I wish I could, but — I just have a lot to study still, and the exam is —”

“ — a week away.” He interrupts me. “Which means you have time to take one tiny break out of your evening to have a little fun and destress.”

“I don’t know, Jimmy.”

“Oh, come on, y/n. It’ll be good for you!” He inches so close I can almost taste his cologne and the head and shoulders 2-in1 shampoo. “Come on — for me?”

And with that, I knew. I knew he knew that I had a stupid schoolgirl crush on him and he was using it against me, and fuck — it was working. I tried to fight a smile, shaking my head as my cheeks flushed pink.

“Fine — whatever,” I said, slamming my book shut. “but only because you seem so desperate.”

He stands up with the dumbest grin. “See? That’s my girl.”

I stand up, fixing my skirt that had ridden up, my thigh exposed past my thigh-highs, maybe even a bit of my black panties. I wasn’t thinking much of it until I caught a glimpse of Jimmy eyeing me like a lion eyeing a gazelle. It was unexpected, unfamiliar. He had looked at me before in a more appreciative way. This time it seemed more lustful, more desperate even, and it caused my chest and legs to grow hot. I could feel wetness going in between my legs, and for a moment, I got embarrassed.

“I just, uh — I just have to put this stuff in my car, and then we can —” As I was talking, he moved closer, not helping my flustered state. I stopped in my tracks, looking up at him.

I was about to say something. I was about to walk past him and run out of the room but his hands slid around my waist and I nearly forgot how to breathe. His bottom lip was pressed by his teeth, his brows furrowing in what looked like deep thought. Though it wouldn’t take a genius to know what he was thinking about.

“Jimmy —” I said, his name barely above a whisper.

“Look — am I totally crazy for thinking that you — that you want me?” He asked, head tilting just slightly as his eyes didn’t leave my own. “If I’m making shit up in my head tell me now and I’ll walk away and we’ll pretend this never happened. But if I’m right —”

I was so thrown off guard. This whole time I thought he didn’t want me. This whole time I thought I was too young for him or that maybe I wasn’t his type. But here we stood with his grip around my waist firm and hungry and waiting for direction.

“I —” I looked down and saw the bulge in his pants. He wanted me so bad in this moment he couldn’t even hide it. Without much thought, I got on my toes and pulled his neck down into my kiss. He let out a pleasantly surprised whimper, his grip moving down lower to cup my ass as he pulled me into his bulge. I could feel it stabbing me and twitching. I let out a soft and involuntary moan.

“I wanna feel how wet you are.” He groaned into my ear, sliding his right hand under my skirt and rubbing his fingers on the outside of my soaked panties. He smiled, placing a rather fervent kiss on my neck and biting my skin gently. “Fuck — you’re so wet. You’re dripping.”

“Mhmm — you make me that way.” I practically moaned the words as he moved my panties off to the side and slid one of his fingers inside me, the wet sounds loud and affirming just how badly my body wanted him.

“Come here.” He pulled his finger out of me, making me whine in protest as his hands wrapped around my waist to hoist me on the edge of the table.

At this point, I was panting, aching, my pussy pulsing for him to touch me. He shoved his index and middle fingers in his mouth and lubricated them with his own spit before shoving them into my soaking pussy without so much as a warning. I gasped, smiling, laying back on the table as he positioned my legs over his shoulders.

At first, he started off with a gentle, slow rhythm. In and out. With every push of his fingers, I could feel him pressing against my walls, making my back arch. “Faster.” I pleaded. And with that he was picking up the pace, ramming his fingers into me with force and speed. I couldn’t even handle it, my legs tried to shut as I began to feel overstimulated, but he pried them open and continued to finger-fuck me while I wiggled and writhed on the table beneath him.

I let out a loud moan that was followed by his hand cupping around my mouth to stifle my pathetic little noises. I had forgotten where we were and that anyone could just walk in and see us this way.

“You like that? Do my fingers feel good?” He was getting off on making me feel good, it was easy to tell. He was boosting his ego by making himself feel good by making me cum all over his fingers.

“Mhhhmm” I mumbled under his hand as my eyes opened and looked up at him.

“God — you’re so beautiful.” He said, staring down at me. “Be a good girl and don’t get us in trouble, okay?” He laughed a breathless laugh as he lifted his hand from my mouth. “You’re getting wetter.” He said with a pleased smirk.

“I’m so close, Jimmy, please —” and with my pitiful begging, he finger-fucked me harder, this time with three fingers while his other hand played with my clit. “I — I’ll make a mess.” I confessed, more like a warning.

“Good.” He said, not slowing his pace or showing me mercy as my body tensed and my back arched.

“Fuck — fuck I’m coming —” I squealed, wiggling around as I started to squirt just a little in between every push of his fingers — my wetness drenched his entire hand and forearm. He just kept going, too, making me moan and writhe around, all pathetic and out of control of my own body. It felt good, though, to not be in control for once. My mind wasn’t thinking about the bar exam, bills, or moving up in HHM. Truth be told, it was just thinking about Jimmy and the way he was making me feel.

“Ah fuck — you’re so sexy.” He said, taking his drenched hand and slowly pulling it away from me, pressing it to his mouth and licking the tips of his fingers. “I knew you’d taste so good.” I grinned a little, out of breath and panting on the table.

My eyes wandered to his disheveled hair and his cocky smile, then to his soaked hand that reached into his pants and pulled his erect cock out. He didn’t even need to hold it, it just stood there on its own — ready.

I slowly sat up on my elbows, practically drooling over his cock, which was bigger than I had imagined. “I want you to fuck me with that.” I confessed, looking back up at his glazed-over eyes.

He didn’t even say anything. He just grabbed me by the waist like he did before and flipped me over on the table with my ass and pussy exposed. I stuck my ass out just a little more, begging for his cock. But before he stuck it in me he kissed me down from the back of neck, down my spine, and then left a little bit on my ass cheek. Then without much warning he was shoving his hard cock into my still-soaking wet pussy. I gasped and groaned, tilting my head back at the feeling.

“Ah — fuck.” he nearly whimpered, already breathing heavily as he started off with a slow and steady pace. He leaned over me and pressed his lips to the top back of my head while he said, “I want you to call me daddy.”

I let out a soft whimper in understanding. “Please fuck me harder, daddy.”

“Good girl,” he said, fucking me harder and shoving his cock deep into me, ramming into my walls and making me whimper with every thrust. His left hand came up to the back of my head and tangled in my hair as his right hand gripped my waist firm in place as he continued to fuck me.

“Just like that, daddy, don’t stop.” I moaned, banging my hands on the table with nothing to hold onto.

He gripped my hair harder, lifting my head up as he thrust into me even more fervently — nothing but the sound of our whimpers and moans and skin slapping together.

“I’ve wanted you for so long.” He moaned, reaching his hand from my waist to my clit and rubbing it to the rhythm of his thrusting. It only made me moan and shake more.

“I want you to cum inside me, daddy.” I confess, biting my lower lip.

“Yeah? You want daddies cum to fill you up?”

“Please daddy — please cum for me.” I begged, barely able to get the words out.

He picked up the pace to a new speed I didn't even know anyone was capable of reaching, moaning and groaning and sweating all over my bare ass until he made a pathetic whimper sound then the next thing I knew he was emptying his load into my raw pussy — filling me up with his warmth and sliding his cock almost out of me but not quite. I could feel his cock twitching as he continued to empty himself inside me. The feeling of his cum made me even more hot and flushed.

“Holy shit.” he huffed, slowly removing his now flaccid cock from me. I turned over my shoulder to look at him looking at my cum-filled pussy with an arrogant smirk across his face. He was fucking proud of himself.

I was about to ask for a taste of his cum before we heard footsteps near the mail room. We frantically got ourselves dressed and I rushed to fix the desk and open my book back to make it look like I was still studying. Jimmy fell hard into his seat, hair all sweaty and slightly curled as he zipped up his pants.

Two cleaning ladies came in with their cleaning cart, staring at us with confusion. “Hola, ladies.” Jimmy said, with a simple wave of his hand. “You can, uh, skip this room tonight.”

They looked at each other, nodded, then walked out.

Jimmy turned to me with an amused expression, eyes moving down to the now cum-soaked chair I was sitting in and laughed a little. “Guess we should have let them clean.”

#jimmy mcgill x reader #jimmy mcgill x y/n #saul goodman x reader #saul goodman x y/n #jimmy mcgill smut #saul goodman smut #bcs fanfic #( mine / jimmy mcgill. )#( mine / saul goodman. )

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luckykiwiii101 · 3 months

Note

Hello,

I’ve been in this community for a while already, maybe since 2021 but I haven’t really been keeping count. My journey has mostly been a mixture of being desperate and uncommitted. There would be times where I would put in a lot of effort for 1-2 days but honestly would just burn myself out because I would let doubts rule me. So many times I’ve said I’m going to enter and log off tumblr to do it, but I kept logging back in and looking for more information or letting drama that’s always going on in this community affect me. For a whole month I actually managed to stay off void and loa tumblr by creating another account and strictly using that for fics I read. I didn’t really persist because I kept putting it off and I don’t even know why. I logged back on and realized I don’t find myself wanting to continue the same loop that I see a lot of people still chasing. Stepping back, I really see how useless and self sabotaging it is and I know most people are aware of this too but don’t want to break the habit by letting this desperation go.

There’s always going to be the feeling that you’re missing something or that there’s something better for you to try as a method if you keep holding on to the desperation. This loop is dangerous because it’s so easy to fall into and it gets comfortable. People get distracted by new things to try or by drama that’s always circulating. These things can seem exciting and curious but they really don’t matter. We’re not here to feed into tumblr drama, to learn all about it, find out who’s lying/telling the truth, to accuse others, etc. Most of us are going to be gone as soon as we enter void. Who cares about keeping up with the latest void methods and tumblr drama when you’re not even going to think back on it after you succeed. You already know everything you need to know. Don’t make this your “comfortable zone”. People get used to this familiarity of trying, wishing and hoping together, and following the latest news and trends that they get comfortable like this.

I don’t know how to word this but I’ve also seen people romanticize their struggles together. Community is so great and a place to relate to others, but lots of people make it a group effort to struggle. Reaching void state isn’t a group effort. You don’t need to ask others to manifest for you and you don’t need to wait for others to try something out to see if it works. You also don’t need validation from others and expect them to dissect what you did wrong. Someone else’s journey or attempts doesn’t correlate to yours so don’t let it decide yours (unless you know it helps you). You shouldn’t feel discouraged by someone else’s attempts because it’s not yours.

Community is so helpful, but individuality is the key. You need to do this for yourself and by yourself at the end of the day. I know it can be hard but really it’s all up to you and it’s so worth it. People can help you through advice and you can relate to people, but you need to be the one making the choices and putting in the effort to persist.

I saw someone on your page say they are going to log off and persist and (I think) come back with their success. They’re so right and I’m honestly going to do the same. I tried staying off void tumblr for a whole month and it wasn’t too hard. It allowed me to really reflect on myself, which I encourage people who can relate to this post, do. I read your tough love post about how some people will never get their dream life because of a lack of persistence/backbone and their mindset. This post really hit me because it represented my views on void tumblr and my previous struggle with the void state. I really don’t want to be this person anymore so I won’t be. I will succeed this time because there really is no other option. I’ve honestly had enough and I’ve already wasted enough time. These are just my thoughts and I encourage people to get off void/loa tumblr and just persist. You don’t need an epiphany to hit you to finally enter void state. But if you do, take the Not so Sugar and Spice post (I believe that’s what it’s called) as one.

Sorry for over sharing and the long post, but I really wanted to get this off my chest and I wanted to let people know that no matter how much you’ve struggled with the void and mindset in the past, kind of like me, you can still make the choice to persist and break habits that don’t benefit you.

I want to say thank you for your post for the inspiration and goodbye for now 💞

I’m SO SO proud of you 💗💗💗

And yes I too recommend that post to people who are mindlessly roaming void and loa tumblr looking for methods to enter the void state because that isn’t going to get them anywhere.

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rageprufrock · 3 months

Text

Sneak Peak: MLC Fanfic

I have so many chores to do so instead I am on tumblr posting this little snippet instead because adulthood is a SCAM.

Anyway, please have some in-progress modern AU where Jiao Liqiao hits Di Feisheng with a car.

The whole thing starts when Jiao Liqiao hits Di Feisheng with an orange Hummer outside of the Alliance Security headquarters while he's on the phone with Li Lianhua.

***

Six hours later, Li Lianhua is sitting around in Di Feisheng's hospital room dressed like someone's dad's dirty uncle best friend: beat up pajama pants, a shirt he'd grabbed at random hearing the shriek of tires through the phone line, and a pair of Fang Duobing's fucking sky blue Adidas slides he'd stolen as he'd bolted out the door.

"It's not that I want to criticize you, lao-Di," Li Lianhua says, critically, "but I told you to run that woman out of town as soon as humanly possible at least five times."

Di Feisheng, who's been provided pain medication and is angry about it, busies himself with glaring at the ceiling.

"Now look at you," Li Lianhua goes on, like a bastard, "you've got a hairline fracture in your foot, you've got a broken leg, three cracked ribs, a low grade concussion, and also you're the top four trending tags on Weibo."

That these are factual statements does not make Li Lianhua's continued, unwanted presence in Di Feisheng's hospital room any less insufferable.

"Alliance Security CEO accident," Li Lianhua reads off his phone. "Alliance CEO car crash. Alliance CEO crazy girlfriend. Alliance CEO handsome."

Di Feisheng's head lolls around so he can center a wild-eyed glare at Li Lianhua.

"Why are you here?" he asks through gritted teeth.

Li Lianhua squints at him. "Can you be considered human?" he demands. "There I was, enjoying my Saturday morning like a normal person—"

"You were calling me to complain that our CDN felt 'kind of slow,' like an asshole," Di Feisheng corrects.

"—and then I hear you yelling and the sounds of vehicular violence," Li Lianhua goes on. "Any person with a heart would be concerned."

"Fang Duobing made you come," Di Feisheng says.

"Fang Duobing made me come," Li Lianhua agrees.

"Well I'm not dead, so you can leave now," Di Feisheng mutters.

"'As someone who has also wanted to hit their boss with a car, but never truly had the courage, I respectfully acknowledge Jiao Liqiao as my master and will endeavor to serve her as a faithful student in all things,'" Li Lianhua reads, going back to scrolling through Weibo. "'I never want to know the truth or any details about why she did it. Just that she hit this beautiful mean-faced millionaire with a car is enough. I would die for her.'"

Di Feisheng goes back to staring at the ceiling and begins to systematically reflect on the wrongs that have led to specific terrible moment. This begins with lingering resentment over college scheduling that had put him in a 9:30 programming basics class with Li Xiangyi and concludes with admitting that perhaps Fang Duobing had been right when he'd said, two years ago, "A'Fei, you can't just tell a woman it's fine if she's in love with you and that you guys can keep working together but that it's none of your business." But at that point, Fang Duobing was still the infant Li Xiangyi was fucking as some kind of weird post mental breakdown enrichment activity, and seemed like a poor source of professional counseling. In the years since, Di Feisheng can admit that while Fang Duobing continues to be an infant Li Xiangyi is fucking as a weird post mental breakdown enrichment activity, he has a sharp and nuanced emotional intelligence—as long as it has nothing to do with his profoundly repulsive attachment to Li Xiangyi.

"Miss Jiao is going to get some truly staggering letters in jail," Li Lianhua observes with audible admiration in his voice. For not the first and likely not the last time, Di Feisheng swears never to answer another phone call or text message from this bastard again.

"If you like her so much, you should hire her once she's served her time," he mutters through gritted teeth. The sharp edge of pain is starting to break through the drugs, but he feels clearer, sharper, less like he's trying to hear shouting through the rush of a flowing river. "Is there a reason you're still hanging around here?"

Li Lianhua slants him a look, beaming with charity. "Now don't get shy, A'Fei—"

"Stop calling me A'Fei," Di Feisheng snaps.

"—I came in a DiDi, so Xiaobao is coming to pick me up," Li Lianhua finishes. "You'll be back to your peace and blessed quiet soon."

Which is of course the precise moment that little treasure of Li Lianhua's pokes his abominably sunny little face into the doorway of the sickroom and declares, all smiles:

"Okay! I just finished with the nursing jiejies! They’re wrapping up your discharge paperwork and we should be able to take you home with us this afternoon.”

“What,” Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua say.

#mysterious lotus casebook #fanfic #wip

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bae04xx · 6 months

Note

Omg would you write a yandere tsukasa x reader please

i’m actually bare sorry i never check tumblr and when i saw this i was sooo excited so i hope you like it xx

this has not been proof read and i cba sorry

as the winter closed in, there was a chilling presence in the air. i stepped back into the school, noticing the frost that had settled gently against the glass panes of the windows, i tugged my woollen hat down my head further in order to keep the heat in. while strolling through the barren halls i took notice of the oddly quiet atmosphere, sure it had been an hour or so since school ended but usually i could hear some clubs closing up, or at least hanako and yashiro. i made a mental notice of the abnormality, but continued my way to the broadcasting room.

i wonder to myself if i took too long, i had tried to be on time, considering i had to be finished with my homework in an hour- despite being forced to deal with a whole weeks worth in such a small amount of time i was expected to do it all. thanks to tsukasa. according to him if i spaced it out evenly i did it in small parts every day that was “too much time wasted that i could be spent with him” although he’s happy with putting my education on the line…

well at least that’s the only thing he’s endangering- id it were up to him i’d be 6 feet under, my ghost being tormented by his antics constantly.

but like i was going allow that, i’d been firm with him since the day i met him, no matter what happens between us- i am not bound to him and i am not dying for him. sure i loved him..

i loved him more than anything. even if i acted like i hated him, and he got on my nerves like mad, and he was a terrible person, i still loved him. and he loved me. he made it very obvious what he wanted out of me- for me to belong to him. tsukasa was very possessive, especially if he owned an object, but even if it wasn’t his- he would do anything to keep it. and that’s what i hated, i am not an object and i am not something to be kept, or protected; i don’t belong to anyone! his whole ideology goes against everything i stand for, but he just doesn’t listen.

it’s constant affection, constant attention, constant interrogations, he has to know where i am, what i’m doing, who i’m with always. but i’m not a child, fucks sake i am my own person. yet he’s always going on at me how i need to be bound to him, he’ll give me whatever i want as long as i belong to him, he can kill me and we’ll be together forever, i’ll be his princess. but i want to live. i want to make a life for myself, make my family proud, have my own family one day. but yet i love him with every atom in my being..

gosh life is confusing, why can’t it just be simple? i doubt anyone else has these problems.

i stopped dead in my tracks, as i heard hanako’s boyish laugh, my eyebrows knitted as i realised i missed the last flight of stairs, too absorbed in my own thoughts.

“y/n? what’re you doing down here?” i heard him call over from the toilets, of he knew i was here.

“y/n? hey!” yashiro rushed towards me and brought me into a soft hug, she was very warm, the complete opposite to my shivering form.

“hanako- she’s freezing!”

“what’re you doing here? aren’t you meant to be with tsukasa already?” he questioned, ignoring yashiro’s worries in order for his question to be answered.

“i’m fine,” i sighed, “i’m not meant to be anywhere, we aren’t bound.” i stated calmly as he chuckled.

“aren’t bound but you’re wrapped around his finger aren’t you?” he said, his cheeky smile adorning his face.

i huffed, preparing myself reply to his quip before i was interrupted by a cold, ghostly figuring wrapping itself around my back.

“y/n! what’re you doing here? you were meant to be in the broadcasting room ages ago!” he whined in my ear, his grip around my waist tightening, his sinister grip on my contrasted against his childish words.

“amane! i see you found y/n!” his face brightened as he saw his brother, while hanako stood his ground, yet uncomfortably. yashiro backed away from me towards him.

“she found me, i’m guessing looking for you,” he said coldly, as tsukasa craned his neck.

“well she was going the wrong way! c’mon y/n, i’ve got some much stuff to show you!” he smiled, grabbing my hand and leading the way, i sent a weary glance to yashiro, who just stood still, unsure of what to do.

…

“why were you there.” there was a bite in this voice, it was just me and him in the far part of the room, closed off from the 2 other members.

“i don’t know, i was just wondering and was thinking about some… stuff and didn’t even have where i was going on my mind,” i spoke softly, noticing his tense tone and his blank face- he exhibited no emotion.

“i’m not looking for excuses.” he spoke, his dark eyes barring holes into my e/c ones.

“i was on my way to you tsukasa, i promise,” i tried to reason with him, evidently hating the atmosphere.

“when how did you get there y/n, how did to get to amane when you were on your way to the basement?”

“i.. don’t know. i’m just stressed, ok? i’ve got a lot on my mind right now,” i was so close to giving up, walking out of this stupid club and going home to get the first good nights sleep i would get in months. he has me constantly cooped up here until the late evenings. just because he “can’t dread the afterlife with out me.”

“you’re not going home anymore.” he stated, his face still unchanged as mine blew up before him.

“i need to do my homework- my parents will kill me tsukasa! i can’t do this to myself, i need to finish my studies, i can’t always be here with you! my education matters, i put up with you all in my face while i am meant to be learning, set aside my home work to be with you, walk home in the dark all on my own and get god knows how many hours of sleep all for you!” i screamed, i was tired, and the bags under my eyes said that for me. just as i stood up to leave and turned my back on him, he grabbed me from behind.

“you won’t have to worry about any of that anymore, now be a good girl and sit back down for me,” i heard him whisper in my ear, as i tried to break out of his grip i left something sharp and cold appear next to my neck.

he had a knife against my throat.

“now are you going to listen to me?” he grinned.

i silently sat opposite to him, as we had been previously, he could feel the fear aching off me, he was basking in this work, his face staring lovingly yet proudly at my trembling body.

“you really should’ve told me this sooner,” he sighed, playing with the silver knife, spinning it between his fingers.

i said nothing, unsure of what would be the right response.

“are you gonna reply or just sit there shaking like a leaf?” he giggled, before he patted his lap, indicating for me to sit.

i slowly get steadily sat on his lap, as he cuddled into me, taking a deep breathe from his noise while his hands were feeling every inch of me.

“i’m going to miss you being so warm,” he said to himself, i shiver went down my spine.

“what.. do you mean?” my voice was so quiet, i couldn’t manage to speak above a whisper’s volume.

“i’m doing you a favour, i’m going to take away all these bad feelings from my baby, how does that sound?” he teased me with his fingers, sensually moving them against my thighs, i melted into his touch.

“yeah.. that sounds good,”

“so, you want me to take all these bad feelings away from you? no matter what the consequences are?”

“mhm..” i mumbled, too tired and my feelings being all over the place to speak.

“i’m gonna need a yes y/n,” he chuckled.

“yes tsukasa,” i said wearily, before i felt it.

his knife went through my heart, i sprung up as a i felt an animalistic scream emerge from my throat. as the blood spewed out of my i felt my lover’s chest rising to the beat of his uncontrollable laughter. i watched as he floated above me, his hands gripping my cheeks as he giggled and stared at his masterpiece, i felt my body dying and the blood rushing around me- only to leave me. my eyes slowly started drooping, until all i saw was black, and i felt myself slip away, finally at peace.

“y/n! you’re finally awake! gosh, you couldn’t of taken longer, could ya?”

“wh-what’s going on? i thought i was dead..”

“sakura! she’s awake! y/n is finally awake!”

“very nice tsukasa.”

“you’re finally mine, all mine. we can be together forever now!” he giggled, before planting a kiss on my forehead.

#fanfic #x reader #tbhk x reader #requests #requests are open #yandere tbhk #tbhk #tbhk hanako #toilet bound hanako kun #yandere tsukasa yugi #tsukasa yugi #yandere tsukasa x reader #tsukasa yugi x reader #tbhk yashiro #yandere #yandere x reader

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justagalwhowrites · 10 months

Text

Lavender - Ch. 46

You and Joel find out the Fireflies' plan for Ellie. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-45 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 5.3K

Your whole body hurt. It reminded you of when you got thrown from your neighbor’s horse and broke your arm when you were a child. Everything was sore and raw and everything felt ever so slightly wrong. Like something central to you was misaligned.

“Take it easy,” there was a man’s voice, one you didn’t recognize. You ignored him, shooting up and looking around. He kept his distance, his hands up in front of him. He kept his voice low, gentle. “You’re OK, not going to hurt you…”

“Where…” you looked around.

“You’re at a hospital in Salt Lake City,” he said, hands still up. “With the Fireflies. We found you a few hours ago. Sorry for the cold welcome but I don’t think they were expecting you to actually show up…”

Your head spun a bit as you shifted. You were on a gurney, the room dim.

“Joel?” You asked. “Ellie? Are they…”

“They’re fine,” he said, lowering his hands slowly. “Joel is still out but he should be fine, we’re getting things prepped for Ellie right now so we can start our work.”

You nodded and rubbed your temples.

“Looks like you’ve been through the mill,” he smiled a little and sat next to you.

“Yeah, just a bit,” you laughed a little. “It’s a hell scape out there…”

“Marlene said that you were a doctor?” He asked, looking you over. “That you’d been doing research in Boston about a possible cure?”

“Well, not a cure,” you said, looking around the room again and spotting your bag in a corner. You slid down from the gurney and went to get it, needing to hold onto the wall for a moment to keep from falling over. But you got the bag and went back to the gurney, setting the bag on top of it. You dug all the way to the bottom, finding your piles of notes. “But a treatment. Something that can be administered immediately after a bite that will slow the progression of cordyceps. If you can amputate the effected area or surgically remove the cordyceps from the tissue, it never reaches the brain and takes over. It’s not perfect and I haven’t done any kind of live trials but it could mean that a bite is no longer a death sentence…”

“This is incredible,” he was flipping through pages of your work, skimming over it. “Just imagine, with the information we can get from Ellie combined with your research…”

“I take it you’re a doctor then?” You asked, putting your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.

“Oh, of course, I’m sorry,” he shook his head and smiled before holding his hand out. “I’m Dr. Jerry Anderson, I’ve been leading the Fireflies’ research into finding a cure. Marlene mentioned you to me when she made it out here. She’d hoped you’d show up at some point but gave up hope about a month back. She was pretty upset, said she thought your work showed a lot of promise…”

“Well glad to know someone missed something about me,” you said wryly. He laughed a little. “So I guess we’ll be working together then? Or I can at least give you my notes, I know our plan isn’t to stay here forever but I obviously want to help…”

“Of course, of course,” he nodded, going back to your notes. “We are talking about the single most important medical achievement of mankind here, I’d hope you’d want to be involved!”

You laughed once and nodded, looking over his arm at your work.

“I just don’t want to put too much strain on Joel and Ellie,” you said. “They’ve been through a lot. Especially her. There’s a place we want to make it back to, settle for a while. She deserves that, all she’s known is the QZ, she deserves better than that…”

His jaw clenched for a moment before he spoke again.

“I have a daughter, not much older than Ellie,” he said, looking down at you. “I’d do anything to make life better for her. But it’s… hard. Knowing that they’re going through something awful, especially when it isn’t their fault.”

“It really is,” you sighed. “That girl went through so much just to get here. More than any one person should ever go through… Of course a cure is important, it’s the most important thing we could do and I know she wants to do whatever she can for it but I want her to have a chance to be a kid. That’s important, too. Maybe not to the whole world but it’s important.”

“At least you can know that, whatever happens, it was done to save everyone,” he said. “It’s worth some sacrifice if it saves everyone.”

There was a knock at the door and a nurse leaned her head in.

“Doctor?” She said. “We’re about ready for you…”

“Thanks,” he smiled tightly at her before turning back to you, handing you your notes. “We can talk more later, see if we can find the best applications for your research with what I think we have in Ellie…”

“Are you running tests on her?” You frowned. “Can I see her?”

“Not the best time,” he said. “We’re trying to keep the environment contained at the moment. We can talk later…”

“I’d really like to see her though,” you cut him off. “She’s got to be scared, she’s never been in a place like this and…”

“Just…” he paused. “Just think about what all we’re going to be able to do with what we’re making here. How many people we’re going to save. We’ll talk in a bit, OK?”

“But…” You protested, trying to follow him, but he stepped around a large, armed man on his way out and the man pressed you back into the room. You stepped back from him on instinct, his tall, broad body blocking you from getting to the door. He had a rifle in his hands. You swallowed, looking up at him. “I just have a few questions…”

You went to duck around him but he cut you off.

“Dr. Anderson wants you to stay here,” he said gruffly. “So you stay here.”

You frowned.

“Are you holding me prisoner?” You asked.

“No,” he said. “Just keeping you here for now.”

“Sounds an awful lot like holding me prisoner,” you said. The man shrugged, blocking your way to the door. “I’m not going to cause any trouble, I just want…”

“You can stay put for a bit while the doc does his work,” he replied. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“OK so if I can’t see Ellie can I at least see Joel?” You planted yourself in front of him, your arms crossed. “The man I came in with, just take me to see him. I just want to make sure he’s alright…”

“You stay. Put.” The man said, voice sharp. You stared him down for another moment before you went to look out the window. Not that you were seriously considering jumping out of it if you were low to the ground but it was tempting.

Something about this whole situation had set you on edge. Your chest was tight, your stomach in knots. Something felt wrong. You didn’t trust it. You weren’t sure what you didn’t trust yet - if it was Dr. Anderson, if it was being away from Joel and Ellie, if it was just the whole situation in general - but you didn’t trust something. The feeling of something being out of alignment grew more insistent.

You were pacing, one arm across your stomach with the other propped against it, hand to your mouth, when you heard two sharp pops. The sound made you jump, like gunshots did in the QZ. You frowned and looked toward the man at the door.

“Did you…” you began but he cut you off.

“Quiet,” he snapped, looking through the window in the door to your room. His radio crackled to life.

“Shots fired!”

“What’s going on?” You asked, eyes wide.

“Probably fuckin’ raiders,” he said, his grip tightening on his gun. “Stay…”

“I need to get to Ellie and Joel,” you said quickly, trying to push your way past him but he shoved you back. “Please, I need to get to them, Dr. Anderson said Joel was unconscious and Ellie…”

“Leave it!” He snapped over his shoulder. “If you get yourself fuckin’ killed you’re of no use to anyone so let me handle it…”

“Joel was still unconscious!” You tried to run past him but he grabbed you and threw you back into the gurney, sharp pain radiating out from your ribs. You had started crying but you knew it because of the blow. “Please, they’re just going to kill him he won’t even have a chance!”

There were more gunshots and he glared at you as you pulled yourself to your feet.

“I was told to keep you in this room and keep you alive,” he snapped, turning the gun on you and pointing it at your thigh. “I will fuckin’ shoot you if you don’t calm down and stay put!”

More gunshots. They sounded closer now.

“Please,” you begged again, trying to make yourself stop crying. “I’m sure they got Ellie out but…”

“The fuck you think you’re gonna do?” He snapped. His eyes were wide, scared. “You’re not gonna last two minutes out there if we’re overrun by fuckin’ raiders! So get out of sight and shut the fuck up before you get us both killed…”

There were a few more loud pops, so loud that they made you flinch. Some of them must have made it to your level. The man glared at you and jerked his head toward the corner of the room that was against the same wall as the door, where you’d be harder to see if someone just glanced inside. You obeyed, watching him closely. The man clenched his jaw for a moment and went to the holster at his belt and pulled out a pistol. He handed it to you.

“It’s a full clip,” he said quietly. “If you need it.”

You just nodded and aimed the gun at the ground, pressing yourself back against the wall. You wiped your eyes and breathed deep. You had to focus. Had to be ready to defend yourself, you couldn’t help Joel and Ellie if you were dead.

The man was watching through the pane of glass in the door as you tried to calm yourself down. Your thoughts were like a drumbeat, get to Joel get to Joel get to Joel. You had to reach him, had to save him, you and Ellie needed him. It was desperate and gnawing and grasping and you had to get to him.

The man tensed for a second.

“Stay put,” he breathed, opening the door slowly, moving almost silently. You closed your eyes for a moment and got ready to move, to try to find Joel, when there were two almost deafening pops. So loud you knew they had to be right outside your door. You jumped and tightened your grip on your pistol, raising it, getting ready to shoot the next person through the door if they were a raider. Your heart was pounding against your ribs, so hard you were certain that someone standing outside would hear it.

The door opened slowly and you aimed your weapon for a second before you dropped it.

“Joel!”

***

You weren’t next to Joel when he woke up.

It felt like you should have been, though.

In fairness, it always felt like you should be next to him when he woke up. That had been one of the nice things about traveling with you the last few months, waking up and having you within arm’s reach. He’d started every goddamn day of his life from the time he first touched you feeling disoriented if you weren’t there when he woke up. He’d reach for you, searching, like there was a part of him that was missing. It happened when he thought you were dead, in the glorious few seconds every day where he forgot about the outbreak and didn’t know that you and Sarah were gone. It happened in the QZ, even when Tess was there because she wasn’t you. It happened on the nights on the road where you had second watch and he woke up while you were out of sight and there was the thrill of fear, a spark of wrongness at you being somewhere else.

But he needed to find you now. Something had happened, he could feel that in his body. He needed to find you and Ellie and make sure everything was OK.

“You actually fucking did it.”

The voice was familiar, it took him a second to place it, for his eyes to focus.

“I thought you were long dead…”

“Marlene?” He sat up and saw her in the doorway of a hospital room.

“You are the last person on the planet I’d want to be in debt to,” she hook her head, her small smile dark. “It couldn’t have been Tess who made it this far with them, had to be you?”

“I’d have it be the other way if I could,” he said, looking around. “Where are they?”

“They’re fine,” she said. “Doc is awake and has met with our doctor. She’s a little banged up but fine. Ellie doesn’t have a scratch, was mostly worried about the two of you…”

“Can I see her?” Joel asked, still blinking some disorientation out of his head.

“How’d you do it?” Marlene asked, ignoring his question. “How’d you make it this far? I had a whole fucking team of guys whose whole job was keeping me alive. We had equipment - trucks, guns - and I still barely made it here. And then there’s you three…”

“They were determined,” Joel replied. “Did a lot to make it this far…”

“They’d be dead without you,” she cut him off. “Before you even made it out of Boston, they’d have been dead. Ellie’s a kid, Doc wouldn’t hurt a fly even if it meant saving her own damn life…”

“I need to see them,” Joel’s chest was tight. He didn’t like this. Something was off, wrong.

“You can’t,” Marlene said, her voice calm and even. “I’m sorry, Joel.”

“The fuck you mean I can’t?” He got to his feet. An armed man at Marlene’s side started moving for him but she put an arm out, stopping him. “I need to see them right now, Marlene!”

“I mean,” she said, still calm. “Doc is getting up to speed on what our doctor’s been doing and Ellie is getting ready for surgery.”

Joel leaned back against the gurney. You already working made sense, he knew you wanted to get in and get out of here quickly but Ellie…

“Surgery?” He frowned. “You said she was fine, not a scratch, why’s she need surgery? I thought you just needed her blood and shit, to run tests, if she’s fine why’s she need surgery?”

“Our doctor thinks Ellie has had cordyceps with her since birth,” Marlene said. “They produce a kind of chemical messenger…”

“So get it from her fuckin’ blood,” Joel snapped.

“He needs the cordyceps that have grown inside her,” she said. “With them he’s going to produce that chemical messenger, one that makes normal cordyceps recognize Ellie as one of their own, and we can give it to everyone. It’s a cure, Joel. It’s a fucking cure.”

It was like his brain was a scratched CD for a moment, stuck on one thing she said.

“Cordyceps grows inside the brain,” he looked at Marlene.

He had to be missing something. That couldn’t be right. Marlene might be an asshole but she wouldn’t murder a child. She wouldn’t hurt Ellie.

“It does,” she nodded.

“No,” he shook his head. “No, you…”

“She doesn’t know,” Marlene said. “She’s not afraid, she’ll be unconscious so she won’t feel any pain…”

Joel’s head spun. It couldn’t be right. They couldn’t want to take her, not like that, not…

“No,” he snapped, pushing himself off the gurney and going for Marlene. “No, you take me to her! You take me to her right now!”

She didn’t stop her guard from intervening that time, the butt of his gun slamming into Joel’s stomach, a second blow hitting his head, sending him to the ground.

“Can’t do that, Joel.”

“You really think she’s gonna help you if you kill her?” He asked. “Think she’ll do a damn thing to make that cure happen if it comes at the cost of Ellie’s life? You’re not gonna have shit…”

“Doc won’t let Ellie die in vain,” Marlene said. “She’ll do it. She’ll make sure it works.”

“Please,” he panted. “Please…”

“I’m sorry, Joel,” she said quietly. “I truly am, you have no idea how sorry I am.”

“Then don’t fuckin’ do it!” He said, getting to his feet. “You can’t…”

“I’ve known her her whole life,” she said. “I was there when she was born, I was there when her mother died after I promised I would protect her daughter. But there is no other choice here, Joel. This is what it takes to get the world back. I have no other choice.”

He was back in 2003. It was dark, chaotic. He had to get to his daughter and he had to get to you. He had to protect you both, he had to, there was no other option. He had no other choice.

He looked up at Marlene.

“I do.”

She sighed.

“Get him out of here,” she said to her guard. “Out of town. He acts up, shoot him.” She pulled a knife - Ellie’s knife - and handed it to them. “Give him that.”

“What about Doc?” He asked. “What about…”

“Thought you hated her,” she said. “So don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of her. We need what’s in her head, remember? She’ll be safe with us.”

She left the room ahead of Joel, before the men shoved him forward. She paused and looked back at him.

“I am sorry, Joel,” she said. “Take care of yourself.”

They pushed him toward the stairwell and he let them. It was like an out of body experience, like he wasn’t in control. The need to get to Ellie and get to you had taken over. Nothing else mattered, nothing. Not his body or mind, not the lives of the people in this hospital, not hope for humanity, none of it. Get to his daughter, get to you.

“Keep goin’,” the voice behind him was sharp. Joel had forgotten he was there. He obeyed, going for the stairs. He paused, at a sign indicating the floors. He needed to go up. The men with Joel shoved him down. He let them.

He needed a gun. The Fireflies weren’t going to just let either of you go. He was going to have to take you from them. He was OK with that. It was worth it. It was worth a whole hell of a lot more than that.

He stopped on a landing. He didn’t have time to keep going along with them. He had to do this now, he had to get to his daughter and get to you now.

“The fuck did I say?” The man snapped, shoving Joel into the wall. “Keep. Goin’.”

He shoved him again and Joel moved fast, whipping around and ripping the gun from his hands. He shot the first man and shoved the other back onto the stairs. The man’s hands went up.

“Where’s the girl?” Joel asked. He didn’t recognize his own voice.

“Fuck you,” he spat.

“I don’t have time for this.”

Joel shot him, too. He didn’t feel anything when he did it, not the pain he once felt when killing another human being, not relief at taking action, not the push of adrenaline. He was beyond that now, outside what feeling could touch.

He moved on.

Up the stairs, next floor, where he heard people moving. He had to make sure there was no one who could interfere, no one who could stop him, not this time. He was not going to let them take you from him. Not you, not his daughter.

He took another gun and a clip from someone who was dead. They were dead because Joel had killed him. The fact barely registered. The fact that he’d killed at least a dozen people so far barely registered.

He moved to the next floor.

The Fireflies were shooting at him but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d only care if they killed him before he could get to his daughter and get to you. As long as he got you both out, they could have him. Get to her, get to you.

Next floor.

It was quieter there. He tried to think of how many Fireflies would be here and how many he’d already killed. The last few minutes were a fog. Two dozen dead, at least, he thought. Probably more. There may not be any more left to stop him.

There were gunshots from the side of him, shattering a pane of glass near his head. Joel turned and shot, dropping the man. Joel went over to him, the man writhing on the ground, gasping for breath. He went to shoot the man again but the gun didn’t fire. Out of ammo. He pulled out the knife - Ellie’s knife - and slit his throat before taking the man’s gun and ammunition.

Joel looked up. There was a door, one the man was close enough to that he might have been protecting it. It could be you or Ellie.

He opened it, slowly.

“Joel!”

You were against him in a second and he could suddenly feel again, everything becoming bright and harsh. Everything except for you, your warm, soft body holding him to the earth. He could smell your hair and your skin and feel your heart beat against his chest as you clung to him.

“You’re alive,” you buried your face in his chest and his arms went around you. It was instinctual. “Joel, there are raiders, in the hospital…”

“No raiders,” he released you and you stepped back from him, frowning up at him. “We have to get Ellie.”

“What?” You frowned. “I don’t… haven’t you heard the shooting? There’s…”

“We need to get Ellie,” he said. “Do you know where she is?”

“No,” you shook your head. “No, they just said they were taking her for tests, they wouldn’t let me see her yet. I’m sure they got her out of here when the shooting started… Joel, what do you mean there aren’t raiders? Who’s…”

“They’re not running tests,” he said, getting a better grip on his gun. “We have to get her.”

“What?” Your eyes searched his and he saw himself reflected in you for a moment. The shell he’d become if he failed this time. He saw the brief moment of horror and then understanding, he saw that you knew. He cut you off before you had the chance to ask.

“She’s in surgery,” he said. “They need to take the cordyceps from her, they…”

“That would kill her,” you stepped back from him, your eyes wide. “Joel, that would kill her, that…”

“Marlene said she didn’t have another choice,” he said. “We do. We have to get our girl, Baby, we have to get her…”

You picked up a gun from the ground and put it low in front of you.

“She’ll probably be in pediatrics,” you said, looking up at Joel. “She’s small, they’re going to want to use the tools that are there. They’ll stick to the surgical wing, no reason to reinvent the wheel and take the procedure anywhere else…”

Joel nodded once.

“Stay behind me,” he said.

He led you past the man he’d killed just outside your door, the linoleum slick with his blood. There was a twinge of something almost like pity in Joel now, seeing the man’s body. He pressed on. Down past the faded and dirty murals of animals, past the body of another man he’d killed to get this far.

“There,” you nodded down a hall. “It’ll probably be there…”

Joel wordlessly led the way, peering into rooms until he saw her, through a window in a door. Her small, fragile body on the table, nurses standing next to her, a man in a scrub cap with a scalpel. He opened the door, gun raised.

“Unhook her,” he said, his voice deadly calm. The women jumped. The man stared at him.

“Dr. Anderson,” you said softly. “You can’t do this. Please. This will kill her…”

“It’s the cure,” he looked at you, his eyes darting back to Joel before settling on you. “It’s worth the sacrifice, it’s for all of humanity, it’s…”

“Unhook her,” Joel said again, stepping closer. “Now.”

“I’m sorry,” the man said, holding the scalpel up. “I’m sorry, but you can’t take her.”

Joel aimed for his head, his finger going for the trigger, but you jumped in front of him, your gun held low.

“Baby,” he said sharply. “Move.”

“No,” you said. “No, you can’t kill him, you don’t have to kill him. He has a daughter, Joel. He’s a father, just like you. Imagine what would have happened to Sarah if you died. Imagine what would happen to Ellie. You don’t have to kill him…”

He reached out to sweep you out of the way but you turned before he could get to you, shooting the man in the leg with a small cry. The doctor screamed, dropping the scalpel and collapsing to the ground. Joel lowered his gun. Your eyes were wide, pleading.

“Get Ellie,” you said. “Joel…”

He turned the gun on the nurses as you put your pistol in the waistband of your jeans, starting to put a tourniquet around the doctor’s leg.

“Unhook her,” he said, gun up again. The nurses scrambled to obey this time, pulling a face mask from her and an IV from her arm. She started bleeding where the needle had been and he nodded at it. “Make that stop. Quick.”

They quickly taped a patch of gauze over the hole in her arm and stepped back again. Joel kept his eyes on them as he slung the strap of his gun over his shoulder and lifted Ellie’s small body, gently, into his arms.

“You’re OK Baby Girl,” he said quietly. Her head lolled to his shoulder. He could feel her breathing. “You’re OK.”

You got up from the ground beside the doctor, kicking the scalpel across the room and drawing your gun again.

“I’m sorry,” you said, looking around as you backed toward Joel. “I’m sorry it had to be this way but you can’t… We can’t… I’m sorry.”

You stuck close to Joel as he went for an elevator which, mercifully, still worked. You pushed the button labeled garage.

“I hope they have trucks,” you said, your grip on the gun tight.

“Should have let me kill him,” he said.

You shook your head.

“I’ll kill to keep you and her safe but I’m not killing if I don’t have to,” you said, your voice firm. “We didn’t have to kill him, he wasn’t armed, there’s nothing he could really do…”

“He was going to kill her.”

You took a deep breath.

“I know,” you said. “I know.”

The elevator chimed and you went into the garage first, your gun up, ready to shoot. For half a moment, Joel thought it was over. That he could take a car and be done, that there was no one down here and that the worst was over.

But it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t.

“You can’t protect her forever, Joel,” Marlene said. You both turned to face her, her gun up as she prowled closer. “Not in a world like this one. It’s impossible. No one is safe here, that’s the point.”

“It’s not your choice to make,” he said, holding Ellie’s limp body closer.

“It’s not yours either,” she said, gun still raised. “It’s hers.”

“She’s 14 years old, Marlene,” you put yourself between her and Joel, your gun up. He resisted the urge to put you behind him, holding tightly to Ellie. Keeping her safe, that’s what mattered. “It can’t be up to her, she doesn’t understand…”

“She’s a smart girl, Doc,” she cut you off. “This is what she’d want and you know it.”

“She’s a child!” Your grip tightened on your gun. “She’s too young to decide something like this! So we’re deciding for her…”

“She’s going to get torn apart,” Marlene was ignoring you now, looking over you to him. “Or kidnapped by raiders, shot by some asshole. Is that what you want for her, Joel? Do you think that she’ll forgive you if she finds out that you cursed her to live in this world? With these risks?”

“Rather her be alive to hate me,” he said, looking down at Ellie, his watch reflecting the florescent light of the parking garage in a broken, fractured pattern onto a nearby concrete post. “Don’t care about the rest.”

“Let us go, Marlene,” you said, backing up toward Joel. “I don’t want to kill you…”

“We both know you’re not the dangerous one,” Marlene looked at you. “Just put the gun down, we can discuss this. We both know you’re not a killer.”

You planted your feet.

“For them I am.”

Marlene realized what was happening half a second before you pulled the trigger and fired just before you did. Time slowed and Joel watched, helpless, as the bullet hit you. He was helpless, just like that night in Texas. He couldn’t do anything but watch you hurt. You stumbled back and fell, keeping your gun clutched in your hand.

“Go!” You yelled at him, sitting up on your elbow, raising the gun and pointing it at Marlene again. He realized she was on the ground, too, her gun dropped where she’d been standing. “Get Ellie to one of the cars. I’ll be fine, get Ellie to a car…”

You were panting for breath now and he ran to obey, finding one of the SUVs that the Fireflies were charging a battery on and setting Ellie gently in the back seat. He made sure she was still breathing before going back for you.

Marlene was struggling to breathe, trying to get back to her gun. Joel met your eyes for a moment and you gave him a nod, letting your weapon fall as you hissed in pain. He picked up Marlene’s gun, standing over her.

“Please,” she panted, her hands clutched over her stomach where you’d shot her. “Please, don’t do this…”

“Can’t leave you alive,” he said. “You’d just come after them. You’d just kill them. Can’t let you live.”

He shot her in the head and her body went limp. He tucked the gun into the waistband of his pants and knelt beside you, one hand going to cup your cheek, the other around your ribs, holding you up.

“You’re OK Baby,” he said quickly. “You’re OK, it’s going to be OK…”

“It’s not bad,” you winced, nodding down at your leg. He adjusted your shirt. There was an entrance wound on the side of your thigh. “It missed the vital stuff and it went clean through, just need to stop the bleeding…”

“You did good, Baby,” he kissed your forehead. “You did so good.”

You closed your eyes and nodded.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” you said.

He lifted you gently into his arms and put you in the passenger seat of the SUV before he unhooked the battery, closed the hood and left the hospital behind.

A/N: Alright folks, this is it. We've got three chapters of this left to go.

I know, I know, I can't believe it either! I hope you enjoyed Joel losing his mind a bit in this chapter and that you'll enjoy what the future holds for our little trio.

Right now, I'm planning to publish again on Tuesday, 7/18; Thursday, 7/20, and close out the series on Friday, 7/21.

I'm going to close the taglist for now since we're so close to the end of this and it's been a bit shoddy anyway (Tumblr just does NOT let me tag some folks and I don't know why!) But thank you to everyone who has shared and commented and liked and followed this story. It sincerely means the world.

Thank you for being here! Love you all!

Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi @pedropascalsbbg@taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123@jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings@arizonadaydreamer@mumma-moonchild@blackroseguzzi@candypeaches16@kittenlittle24@wrappedinfiction@oatmeaiboy@pedritosdarling@winchestergypsy90@imnotdatboii @lalalalemonade11 @maknimuk1@mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes@pedrosaidsheispunk@commanderawkward@n7cje@elliesgirlll@tsunamistorm123@spookyxsam@leeeesahhh @anoverwhelmingdin @untamedheart81 @pedropascalfan221 @pedr0swh0r3 @pedrobae@fifia-writes@fatima-marisa @acf2023 @1soff@encephalitiskat @ashleymsnodgrass @karlinspace

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #lavender

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seventhdoctor · 1 month

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A Trapezoid of Foils: Judai/Yubel and Amon/Echo

I'm back on my bullshit, and my bullshit is yelling about the trashfire that is Judai Yuki and Yubel. This post is a collection of thoughts on how Amon and Echo were clearly meant to reflect Judai and Yubel in some way or other, and how it feels like it should be neater than it is. The parallels are there, but it's not fully symmetrical and some of the angles are kind of weird...so yeah, kind of like a (non-isosceles) trapezoid!

(Geometry Tumblr do not @ me, I'm doing my best with this metaphor)

Spoilers for GX season 3, naturally. I haven't said it before, but for this post as well as previous ones I'm basing all information and characterization on the sub version of GX rather than the dub (which drastically changes Yubel's backstory and motives).

Yubel and Amon

This is the most obvious one, because Yubel spends two whole episodes and honestly some of their most iconic monologues trying to tear Amon down after building him up the whole season.

They're both antagonists willing to cause harm to the one they love for their goals. For Amon, that goal is the power to build a utopia. For Yubel, the harm is the goal - or at least, the metric by which they will have achieved their goal (showing their love for Judai).

Yubel, of course, claims that Amon is more selfish in his use of harm. Pain is love in their philosophy, but it's mutual pain - dishing out the pain without taking any back would only be mere cruelty. This of course misses the nuance that Echo wanted Amon to use her as a sacrifice, while Judai didn't welcome any of Yubel's twisted affections.

Still, from what I've seen most people agree that Yubel comes across as more "honest" one way or another. And to understand why things feel that way, it's important to look at their backstory and motivations, as well as how their motivations change.

Yubel dedicated themself to Judai's past life, tying themself to him through lifetimes, and in the present remained true to that devotion in unwanted ways. When Judai sent them to space and it ended up being Oops! All Torture, Yubel developed their sadomasochistic philosophy as a coping mechanism and an attempt to reconcile Judai's past promises and present actions.

Upon their return to Earth, they planned to return the "favor": by sending Yubel to the pain and isolation of outer space Judai made them stronger (i.e., infected by the Light of Destruction, with all that entails), so they'll give him his own painful experience (all of season 3) to make him stronger (awaken his power as Supreme King). Then they'll reunite, having both demonstrated their love for each other, and [this part is where the Light of Destruction really twists up their thinking]. Everything they do is in the name of this motive*, whether Judai really likes it or not.

Amon dedicated himself to the Garam conglomerate with Echo by his side before being replaced by his younger brother Sid, the sole blood Garam sibling. He nearly murdered Sid before changing his mind and dedicating himself wholly to his brother instead, a decision Echo and Yubel both describe as willingly chaining himself to their service. Even when given an opportunity to become the heir (all it'd take is watching his brother die to illness, not even murder) he rejects it, and begs for a way to save him.

And yet, when when given the opportunity he made a deal with the devil to break the chains he put on himself and abandon that same family. Then when he gets the chance to obtain power by sacrificing someone he loves, he does exactly that. Then he plans to become king of a utopia free of suffering, and always remember Echo.

So then, what are Amon's motives? Is he somebody who got tired of being abandoned or unappreciated? An ends-justify-the-means idealist? Just a power-hungry hypocrite? It's hard to tease out a consistent character and ideology from him. And in a show where people wear their hearts in their decks, I think this part of why people hate him - and so does Yubel.

Yubel hates Johan because he's terrifyingly like Yubel in some ways, focused and protective and dear to Judai.** Yubel hates Amon because he can't be like Yubel at all, resenting the brother he dedicated himself to and sacrificing the person he loved for power in an empty world forever devoid of that same person.

No way Yubel can be that kind of person, right? Otherwise, what was it all for?

* To be fair, you don't know all of Yubel's backstory by the time of their final duel with Amon. However, even removing the context of their past life that duel together with Yubel!Johan vs. Hell Kaiser establishes Yubel's central motivations more coherently than they do Amon's.

** Help, I know there's been other essay segments on this topic, text and video alike. But I saw a lot of them back in early 2023 when I was mindlessly going through GX material in a haze of hyperfixation and now I've forgotten all the other good sources.

Yubel and Echo

If Yubel's parallels with Amon are about their dedication, Yubel's parallels with Echo are about who they're dedicated to. Both believe in their loved one's destiny to become a king, and take actions to make them that king.

Yubel has historical basis in that Judai is quite literally the Supreme King, bearer of the gentle darkness. To help him achieve that role, Yubel enacts a plot to break Judai until he awakens his Supreme King side. It fits neatly into their schema of things: this is how they make the person they love stronger, so that they will thrive and survive. Make Judai stronger and awaken his old power, and all will be as it was meant to be.

Echo just believes that Amon is amazing enough that he would make a better king than anyone. When the chances arises to help break his chains and give him a world to rule, Echo takes it.

...And boy does she.

Both Yubel and Echo believe their loved ones are meant to be a king. Both give their lives in support of their loved one, and become weapons wielded in their service.

No wonder Yubel was shaken by Echo's devotion remaining within Exodia for just a moment - it's not all that far from their own.

Unfortunately Yubel's only direct interaction with Echo is goading her attack on field-Yubel during the final Amon duel. Otherwise they only speak of Echo as someone used and abandoned by Amon - which in itself has potential, given Yubel's own feelings about Judai sending them away.

I think GX could definitely have explored this connection a bit more. There's space to fill here.

Judai and Amon

As noted above, Judai and Amon both have roles as kings - at least, in the eyes of their single most loyal people. Judai holds the title of Supreme King as the wielder of gentle darkness, and while not confirmed his past life sure looked like a prince. Amon simply has ambition, talent, and an ideal world in his mind.

And in operating with the ambition of kings, they both do terrible things to achieve power. Judai lays this out explicitly in the Edo vs. Amon duel:

Amon lets his need for power get in the way of his other relationships and priorities, and sacrifices the ones he loves to obtain Exodia similarly to how Judai sacrificed his friends and eventually uncountable innocents for his own goals - finding Johan, and then ruling as Supreme King. Straightforward, right?

But I think there's another parallel between the two that's a lot more interesting. Or...most of a parallel. Namely, their relationship with their other halves and the responsibility of a loyal follower who would give up anything for you, be it their life or their humanity.

What do you do when the person you love most dedicates their existence to you - to the point of throwing everything else away, even their very life?

Of course, the Judai-Yubel and Amon-Echo situations aren't exactly the same even putting aside the issue of reincarnation. (For the purposes of this essay I'm not making huge distinctions between Judai and his past life, but if you want to get into the details I've written about that previously.)

Yubel went ahead and made their sacrifice without Judai's input, and all he could do was decide how to respond. He chose to dedicate himself back to them so hard it crossed lifetimes, so hard he chose to risk his own existence for them as well in his next life.

Amon, on the other hand, is the one who proposed Echo sacrifice herself for him. Echo agreed to it, and even by the end she stood by her decision. But Amon loaded the gun and pulled the trigger.

He tries to honor her sacrifice, of course. He's always mindful of Echo's sacrifice and what it means. But in the end, he did choose to sacrifice her, ultimately using her as a pawn. Their love never trumped his own objectives.

And I think the example of Amon and Echo leads to the question: if Judai had the choice of letting Yubel become a dragon or stopping them, what would he do? When it was explicitly their will?

This is another missed opportunity, one that could have solidified the parallels neatly. But GX never asks that question, so the answer is unclear. What could have been a parallel is just kind of...askew.

Judai and Echo

Okay, I admit there isn't a lot here off the top of my head. Probably the best parallels between them are in relation to their other halves, as the people "harmed" by their villainous partners, and how they respond to that harm.

Judai rejects Yubel's torments as unwanted attention, until he remembers the past and flips to understanding why Yubel did they did and makes moves to unite the two of them forever. Echo, meanwhile, understands Amon's motives from start to end and...lets herself be sacrificed, the end.

I don't know about this one. Really, ultimately Echo is supposed to be a willing participant in her own sacrifice but in the end I still don't feel like the narrative gave her a strong sense of agency in the matter and it really weakens my attempt to write this section.

In Conclusion

Some of these connections are stronger than others for sure, but I argue that they're all there in some way or another. They're very uneven and overall I'm not entirely sure what you're meant to take from the parallels, and I wish I could give something neat and concise for this section. Instead, it's a bit messy and misshapen - hence, the trapezoid metaphor.

Still, I think there's interesting room for thought in this awkward space. I was certainly thinking about these parallels while working on the latest chapter of Need (accidental last-minute plug?) and trying to figure out exactly what the prince felt while Yubel was in the middle of dragon surgery. What must it be like, to be in these relationships of sacrificial devotion?

#yugioh gx #yugioh series #judai yuki #yubel #amon garam #echo #essaying #meta #analysis #once again thanks to kaiowut99/GymLeaderLance99 for the subs #they're being used for a good cause?#anyway here's the product of me thinking too much about yu gi oh gx season 3 #and all things yubel related #i am so on my bullshit

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angstywildcats · 4 months

Note

it’s been a hot minute since ive read warrior cats so i just wanted to ask what the relationship between ferncloud and brightheart is? and in turn the general premise of your coming surrounding them? im really interested!!

It has been a hot minute since i've touched a book too, anybody is free to correct me but. In canon, they really just were apprentices at the same time.

If you wana pepe silvia it up, it should be noted that the books however included that:

Fernpaw and Ashpaw's mother is killed by the dogs

Swiftpaw would invite Fernpaw (and Ashpaw) to find out what's been out there hunting down Thunderclanners (It should be stated that Swiftpaw, I think, did this for his Warrior name and wanted support. I don't know if there was ever any mentioned other noble cause on saving his Clan or specifically his apprentice denmates)

Brightpaw and Swiftpaw leave, that whole tragedy happens.

Fernpaw is the one to confess to Fireheart (and Cloudtail, I think?) about where the missing Swiftpaw and Brightpaw's whereabouts are. Which, theoretically helps Brightpaw be found in time.

The book never really shows them interacting otherwise, as far as I can remember, but Ferncloud and Brightheart also most likely shared time in the nursery together since they have kittens around the same era... which you never see because that's in between The Prophecies Begin and The New Prophecy, and Whitepaw is an apprentice by then.

Basically I'm making mountains over underdeveloped molehills over side characters, but I think with what's given, there's a lot of emotional exploration to be had over it, while still feeling in-line with canon!

I should say as well, I was all particularly inspired by this because a couple of Warriors videos ('Danse Macabre', 'No one, Everyone, Your mama') both included a shot of Fernpaw watching them leave in the night. It's such a simple thing to include, but there's a lot of weight to seeing your friends the very moment they leave to go on a suicide mission and one of them never coming back! What would have happened if you broke their trust and just told on them to not leave! Is it your fault they died!?

Soooo with all that being said, and my absolute hunger for just... more interpersonal relationships between characters in Warriors (which they fail me for even the main characters), there's a lot of strong potential in this.

With my take on Brightheart and Ferncloud, I just see them as really good or bonded friends who grew up together. They go through a lot through shared trauma, and based on the tidbits of personality given for both of them, I think they also would get along. Fernpaw being timid, Brightpaw being caring for others. In my comic I've added a bit to also imply Brightheart agreed to go with Swiftpaw not only to support him but to do it for Fernpaw/Ashpaw as well. I hesitate to put any further label on it since... well, their children get together romantically so it would add to the tangle of bloodlines, but I def can see it as how some childhood friends have sibling bonds.

For the comic... you will have to see exactly what happens! It's short, chill. Mostly conversational, just like the Shrewpaw/Ferncloud one but i hope it still hits emotional beats. I think something just fun to chew on while I make it is... How would it feel to watch your friends try hunt something that killed your mother, and only one survives, coming out of it extremely shaken. What would seeing her again feel like.

Perhaps I have talked to much, but I actually planned to do an extension of this comic where it timeskips further on where all the apprentices, grown up, visit Swiftpaw's grave.... but I decided against this because. 1. This is already a lot of work to do this many pages. 2. It's gonna be pretty long already, and I do not like making extremely long posts on tumblr. 3. I found a different way to end the comic I preferred.

Here's the script. Perhaps maybe I'll touch on it another while but admittedly after this I may be tired of exploring the Dog Incident for a bit.

Thank you for being so kind and inquiring! It's very fun, I enjoyed explaining this.

#not art #ask #anonymous

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lostheretics · 11 months

Text

PLOT TWIST (5)

▸ chapter 5: the rise of the new boss

pt. 1 || pt. 2 || pt. 3 || pt. 4 || pt. 5

✵ cast : jung wooyoung x fem!reader, kim hongjoong, lee juyeon, kim younghoon, ateez, mentioned oc and many kpop artists name or group

✵ genre : romance, marriage life, eventual angst, smut, mafia!au, non idol!au

✵ summary : there was a saying that learning is a lifelong process. what will you learn about the underworld, the first time you stepped into it? you might have what they call a beginner’s luck, but will that be enough for the things you’ll be facing soon?

✵ notes : stopped counting on how many words but i try to make it lengthy as possible. thanks for waiting, to those whoever awaits i guess. i was thinking of making a taglist for this fic. taglist will be used for updates; ANY updates regarding PT. just drop ur @ in my askbox. also, PLS REBLOG.

WARNINGS BELOW CUT

☒ warnings: none for now but do remind me if there’s one. a lil bit of discrimination from wooyoung but not in a bad way (kinda, but not that bad)

☒ i do not condone mafia acts nor any acts that goes against the law at all. everything mentioned are just purely fiction, made to entertain myself and fellow readers in this particular platforms.

☒ do not repost this on any other platform without my permission!

✓ reblogging, liking, and commenting this post in tumblr (through comment or askbox) are very much appreciated.

you believe in destiny, fate, universe, whatever they’re called. you put your whole faith in it. you trusted them and their work, putting one and one together to make to or even ten. after all, it's also the one reason you and wooyoung beat all odds and be together.

but not to this extent. you refused to believe it.

to believe the pair of arms that caught you just days before became the arms that lead you in a dance session. to believe the same pair of brown eyes to look at you once more. to believe that the stranger who helped you when you almost faint, in work, embarrassingly, is to be the one you work with. your new goal.

cue the famous line from that one song, what kind of fuckery is this?

“you seemed so quiet for someone who’s looking for an ally.”

uhm, because i’m fucking flabbergasted? too stunned to speak?

“i hope you don’t plan on running away, again.” he added, “i just wanna get to know you.”

you laughed nervously, “of course not, sir- uh, mr. kim,” you stuttered, “i don’t know how to properly address you.”

he twirled you before catching you in his arms again. “mr. kim would suffice for now. though i hope we’ll get close enough in the future to be on first name basis.” younghoon said. “and how should i address you? miss y/n? mrs. jung?”

“anything’s fine mr. kim.”

the dance continued.

it was a moment where you could finally savor, or, to put it less romantically and more professionally, it was a moment where you could finally take a good look on the man.

kim younghoon's name has been there for some time, but little was known about his private life. typical of the seoul kims. his business life, however, is the talk of the town.

he never failed in pursuing his business endeavors, alongside his brother. not a single dirt on his name was found despite him still being young in the field. the kim brothers; kim younghoon himself and his younger brother kim seokhun were every parents dream on a child, especially one with a family business.

his soft brown eyes were ones you'll never forget. they were so soft, unlike the ones you saw all your life; dull, full of hatred, and all that bad stuff. and the way his eyes smiled along when he smiled... you thought, a man this soft and pure-looking shouldn't be working in this part of the world.

"juyeon sent you to work with me, but i know he wanted more than just that." younghoon muttered. his hard gaze was evident despite him not looking at you, opting to scan the room.

"he wanted something regarding my family."

"mr. lee sent me to work with you, yes. we're grateful that he even mentioned our name and recommending us to you. however, he did so because he believed my group's main business is in the same field as yours, and that it'll make more sense." you said, ever so carefully while studying his face. you took a bold move, putting your body closer to his while strengthening your hold on his shoulder.

"but, regardless of that, i would truly like to work with you, mr. kim. my group wishes to. i'd like to try it with you, and i hope you can make good use of ateez in the future, as well as lending a hand for us to step further, higher, and better in the business." you declared. "i'm not blind. i know what's happening between your family and the lees, and i don't have a say in it at all. but i would like for you to consider work between ateez and the kims, unrelated to any of the lees." you reassured.

and lastly, for the cherry on top, you stared straight on his eyes, pleading.

"give us the chance to prove ourself, mr. kim."

younghoon just stared at you, while his brain processed everything you just said. you were right, the kims main business in the medicine field were compatible with kang industries that yeosang ran with his sister. that alone could be a reason for the both of you to actually talk business with each other.

he was a businessman after all, any chance is worth something if you pursue it first.

the music stopped, meaning the dance session ended. clapping sounds were heard all over the hall. you took your hands off of younghoon's, bowing at the said man.

you thought it just ended like that, but it took you by surprise when younghoon took your hand in his, raising your knuckles to his lips before landing a gentlemanly kiss ok the back of your hand. his eyes never left you when he sent you a soft smile.

"i'll have my secretary invite ateez for a business talk. as soon as the gala ends" he stated, before continuing, "it was a nice dance, mrs. jung."

"party's done. everyone retreating in ten."

wooyoung chugged down his champagne while scanning around the room, giving nods to every member in his sight as a sign. he greeted the rest of his acquaintance, before leaving the scene.

just as he was about to exit the hall, a hand landed on his shoulder, stopping him in his track. a once scowl on his face turned into a friendly smile when he turned around and was greeted by seo changbin.

"my man, binnie!" he gave the buff man a hug, not to mention a tap on his back. "what's up?"

"not much. are you guys leaving already?" he asked while looking around, noting some ateez members already heading out of the hall. he clicked his tongue in an unapproved manner. "it's still early, though. how am i gonna catch up with my best friend?" he lightly pouted.

"the only thing you'll catch is these hands if you ever do that thing again." wooyoung jested, and changbin only laughed.

once the laugh died down, he took a step closer to wooyoung, lowering his voice as he watched around.

"got some words from chan. mind sparing me some time?"

wooyoung lifted his wrist to watch the time. he still got eight minutes left. he nodded at changbin before leading the man away from the crowd, opting for a quieter side of the hall just by its door.

"what's up? business doing okay?" he asked.

changbin only shrugged, "it's fine. work here and there, cusses, blood, what's new?" then he raised his hand to rest on wooyoung's shoulder. "congrats to ateez, by the way." he complimented.

he then stated, "it's the talk of the town right now, you know? the fact that ateez, a gang took down a royal family, by a new member no less. i'm talking about your wife, mrs. jung y/n." changbin chuckled lightly when he saw a change in wooyoung's expression, a cocky smirk along with a subtle red tint on his cheeks. a sense of pride rose within wooyoung.

"a good catch they say."

wooyoung almost giggled. "damn right. thanks for the words though,"

done with the chitchat, changbin cleared his throat as he turned to wooyoung.

"chan said he met your wife at some casual networking party just a couple months ago, hongjoong did the introduction. safe to say he was intrigued." wooyoung turned his head to changbin upon his choice of words.

lifting a brow, he chuckled. "same thing happened to me before i married her."

changbin clicked his tongue, "not in that way, of course." he objected, slightly cringing over the thoughts of his boss creating a drama worthy act like that. "you know chan, you've heard about it, right? that he rarely missed when it comes to judging someone, especially the businessmen or women."

"i've heard some of it. and what about it?"

"the other day he sort of said something about y/n and talents, that she could be a big thing soon. and surprise, surprise, not long after that the news came like a fucking thunder, a shock to everyone and especially chan. ateez was about to lose but she just casually lifted you up and took down the whole family."

checking at his watch, he quickly pointed out. "so, what does he want exactly?"

"chan's got an info. an inside job. new weapon supplies and exchanges, i'm talking new types and big money. the job's too big to take for us alone and he already thought of making a collaboration between our team since ateez got a good capo, and you got mingi and yunho on weaponries. your reputations preceded you," he exhaled, before continuing. "but ever since he met y/n and heard of the news, he wanted to go even further. chan wants y/n in the job. with your captain's permission, of course, but he wants her to directly sit on the table where he and hongjoong will be. chan wanted me to tell you that, and he hopes to hear good answers from hongjoong."

by the time changbin was done with his explanations, wooyoung was already stunned. he was taken aback at the fact that you rose so quick to be able to catch other's attention. he was slightly agape, eyes widened. to be able to stand beside hongjoong, to sit right next to him is to be next to the captain by rank. though unofficial, the conversation itself could be a proof that you're an equal to seonghwa and yeosang.

you had him floored, truly.

"could you please try to put some words to hongjoong? chan really wants this." changbin's plead broke wooyoung's train of thoughts.

he nodded lightly. "i'll see what i can do," he promised the man.

he lifted his wrist once more. seeing the time had passed, he took a step back. "i have to go now. i'll let you know of the outcome soon."

"wait!" changbin almost yelled, stopping wooyoung on his track.

"what?" he asked. changbin hurriedly walk to wooyoung as his hands dug around his suit pocket. upon finding the item, he quickly put the piece of paper in wooyoung's pocket.

"i almost forgot." changbin moved closer towards wooyoung and whispered, "come to the show. capos business. yeonjun found a new spot, some rough diamonds ready to be trained if you're recruiting new members."

he stepped back, tapping on wooyoung's pocket before retreating.

"thank me later."

“they’re leaving the premises, sir.” 

the minion retreated, leaving juyeon and his champagne on the balcony. his eyes watched as a couple of cars left his mansion, particularly the last car that carried you and your husband.

it was something that he used to love to do with his father; watching people come and go. the only difference were his father is no longer around, and that it has become his job.

upon watching the way you sway in the dress he gave, hand in hand with your husband as you got in the car, he gripped on his glass harder as he tried to breathe, not even realizing he was holding his breath the entire time. there was this uneasiness, a storm brewing in the pit of his stomach. he didn’t believe in anything unworldly or superstitious, but he believed in himself. of what he sees, what he feels, what he understands.

it didn’t take long for him to saw power in ateez.

one that could endanger his, though he didn’t know the source nor the reason for it. for that, he’ll have to dig deeper.

“something’s coming.” he murmured, enough to be heard by another party standing behind him. he whispered again, “i can feel it in my bones.”

park jipsa, the one who stood behind him sighed, “are you afraid?”

“never.”

“then you’ll know what to do.”

if there ever was something brighter than the sun, it must’ve been hongjoong’s grin, pulled all the way back showing his pearly smiles you thought his skin would soon tear apart.

the man was practically beaming.

and you silently took pride in being one of the reason so.

“business looking good.”

“damn right it is.”

it was just you, hongjoong, seonghwa, and yeosang in the room. breakfast was done and group meeting ended, yet the ambitious man kept you around to discuss everything further. there were papers scattered, calls made, and coffees on the table.

“i’ve checked around,” yeosang chipped in, while rearranging the documents discussed for the meeting, “if we’re actually working with the kims, emphasize on if, if everything works, we’ll have easier access to some of our stuff, both importing and exporting. the drug development is looking good right now, and we’ll have much exposure with their help. we’re gonna make more money soon.”

“that sounds good, yeosang. great, actually.” hongjoong beamed, smiling at yeosang. the man stood near his desk, phone still in his hand, just finishing a deal went well.

seonghwa chuckled, “you feel good?”

“fuck yeah, hwa. yeah i feel good.” he almost screamed. “of course i feel good, everything’s looking good like this. and if it actually works i might do a somersault myself.”

“you look like you’re gonna do that now.”

you laughed along with the guys.

after pacing back and forth, energetically, and with happy thoughts one would assume the mafia leader might be a child trapped in a man’s body, hongjoong finally sat down. he tapped his fingers on the table, before finally making up his mind, pointing at each party around him.

“okay, here’s what. we have so much in our hands right now, but i’d like for everything to work out and i put my trust in you guys,” hongjoong stared at each of you, “i’m all in for you.”

he pointed at seonghwa. “i’m sending seonghwa to japan to settle down. you’ll be our representation there hwa, until i finish things in here. the most important thing is to make a powerful link to that family.” he said, moving to yeosang as soon as seonghwa nodded his head.

“yeosang, as usual with kang industries, but i want you to bring y/n around as a representative too. she’s gonna be the link between us to the kims and drug business, so it’s good for the both of you.”

you and yeosang couldn’t help but to stole glances, surprised by the mission but acknowledging each other still.

hongjoong raised his phone, tapping it several times before speaking again, “wooyoung got words from chan last night, and chan just made a call this morning. he wants a collaboration between our group for a job. there are new weapons coming in, big job. chan’s got his hand on it but figured it’d be too big to handle alone, but dangerous if handled by too many. so we’re in, and i’m also taking y/n in this, per chan’s request.”

he turned to you. “you’re gonna have so much in your hands this time, you know this right?”

you nodded.

“but with stray kids, you’ll just be a spectator on the table. i’ll handle the big game with chan. i want you to focus more on the kims and kang industries. your main job right now is the kims. do you understand?”

“yes.”

“good.”

birds fly fast.

but the rumors flew faster in this house.

it didn’t take long for everyone in this house to find out about you. and your new… job. or perhaps rank. a housewife turned… consigliere? underboss? hongjoong hasn’t give you an official rank within the group yet. however it didn’t take a genius to see how high up your position were.

you’re working straight with yeosang, second in command in ateez next to seonghwa, ateez’s face and representative in the outside world. your job was as important as seonghwa’s, hongjoong’s righthand man, the underboss of ateez. each of every job you’ve done you’d report back straight to hongjoong, and hongjoong took you almost everywhere he goes.

on top of that, you’ve been giving counsels to hongjoong even before you had your debut in the underworld.

you’re as good as a consigliere, just not officially, yet.

there was contentment, of course, yet it also comes with burdens. one that you fear you wouldn’t be able to bear. but you will do your best, for your family. for wooyoung. to make him proud.

and he couldn’t be more proud of you.

wherever ateez goes, wherever he goes, he wouldn’t stop gushing about you every time someone brought your name up. lowkey, of course. just to make sure everyone knows you’re his wife. that you’re great, yes, but you’re definitely off limits.

exactly like tonight.

he eyed the piece of paper in his hand, before eyeing the traditional restaurant in front of him. it was a small, dimly-lit building. an old woman walked around, delivering orders though not much, as they didn’t have much customers for the night.

he fished out his phone out from his pocket, typing a name before pressing the call button.

“hello?” changbin’s voice rang through his speaker.

“i’m outside. are you sure this is the place?” wooyoung asked, throwing glances with yunho, jongho, and san behind him.

“it’s a small restaurant, right? did you see the old lady?”

“yeah? and?”

changbin chuckled, “just get in. take a seat, and when she asked for your order, just ask her if mr. kim’s soju is on the menu today. come fast, the match’s about to start.” and with that, changbin hanged up.

putting his phone back on his pocket, he whisked his head, signaling the boys to enter the place with him. they took a table, and before long, the old lady came to their table, asking for their orders. wooyoung looked around, making sure no one’s hearing them, before getting closer to the lady.

“is mr. kim’s soju on the menu today?”

the old lady just smiled and nodded. “it’s stored just right there. come along and pick for yourself, young man.”

that’s how they got into the hidden basement deep under the ground, by an elevator just behind the fridge in the kitchen.

when the elevator stopped, changbin was standing in the hallway. he greeted them with a smile, shaking wooyoung’s hand firmly.

“cool place, right?” he quipped, then shook hands with jongho, yunho, and san.

changbin led them further into the basement. even from the hallway, rough noises were already heard, and it got louder as they got closer.

illegal fights weren’t a secret anymore. but as they got deeper, more secluded, the more blood got spilled, the more animalistic the fighters get, the bigger the prize. this is where the mafias recruit new members, new associates.

the rings were surrounded by rough looking men, some older, some younger. the fighter on the ring looked all bloody and bruised, but still standing on their feet fighting for their life. hollers here and there, nothing new.

they all took a table not far from the ring. yeonjun and beomgyu were seen, along with jisung and jeongin. they greeted each other.

“the consigliere’s husband!” yeonjun quipped with a playful tap on wooyoung’s back. wooyoung chuckled. with pride, of course.

“so what’s the hype?” wooyoung asked, half yelling to catch yeonjun’s attention. the lad pointed his finger to each rings, getting himself close to wooyoung and the others.

“gems. lots of them,” he yelled, pointing at one of the ring, “see that guy over there?” he asked, pointing at a tall man, not buff, but muscular and calculative enough to look not so affected while his opponent looked like he’s about to faint.

yeonjun spoke again, “he’s an ex NIS agent. i think he got ousted, betrayed, whatever. and that’s just one of the few. there are other fighters, former gang members, ex police, ex NIS, ex professionals— whatever we’re looking for. so take a pick!” he said, before continuing.

“but be careful, they also might be onto something if they go this deep. either all in or all out.”

the pungent smell of blood was nothing new, combined with the smell of sweat of all people, burnt cigarettes, liquors of all kinds. in fact, none of them seemed to be distracted by any of the smell, the sound, or even the people who were drunk off their minds falling around them.

their eyes, especially wooyoung’s were focused on each ring or around the room, scanning all within the room trying to find new recruits or maybe new connections.

a bell was heard, a ring near them just announced a winner before quickly moving on. a pair of new fighters stepped onto the ring, one of them a rough looking men, presumably already fought a fight before this one, and his opponent…

…a woman?

her hair was tied up, cuts and bruises here and there but not enough to disguise her beauty. physically she’s far smaller than the man, less muscular, yet she hold no fear in her eyes.

“what’s a pretty girl doing in this hellhole?” wooyoung murmured,

right before the girl ducked down and punched his opponent right on his chest, hard enough to make him cut his breath. then landed a punch to his right cheek, followed by his left cheek. and a final kick to his head, quickly sending the man to his sleep, hopefully not an eternal one.

and that’s how she won the game.

not to mention leaving wooyoung speechless. that was a quick game. and she looked like a gem. a fighter like that would make jobs easier, faster, and more efficient.

he was deep in his thoughts, until san nudged him, “are you seeing what i’m seeing?”

wooyoung looked back at san, observing his line of sight, only to bring his eyes back to the said woman.

a gem in sight indeed.

“her?”

“yes, her. we need her. i want her. we gotta take her.” he mouthed. he then pulled wooyoung by the shoulder, and proceeded to stare into wooyoung’s eyes with the most serious look he could muster. “seriously wooyoung, i can’t handle this charmer—grifter shit alone anymore. we need a charmer. and i mean it.”

“san, we’re on budget and we’re here to look for a bodyguard—“ he was about to state but san had cut him off.

“did you not see the way she threw that punches? she can be a bodyguard. she is muscle.”

“yes, but—“ wooyoung hesitated, “i don’t know man, a lady bodyguard?”

san gasped. “that’s discrimination, what the fuck?”

“not in that way!” wooyoung bit back, “i don’t know man, i’m just not sure. she’s all great, it’s just—”

“but what?” san pressed.

san wasn’t wrong, they do need a charmer. san was the only charmer ateez had— they do have others, just not as good as san, hence the lad had to do most jobs by himself. the last time they had a good charmer other than san, but they got killed in action.

being a grifter, a charmer, he did get to know most thing and even on the deeper part of the underworld. any place he want, anyone, he could get through anything, most of the times. but ultimately, he was fed up. doing what he did best alone might finally took a toll on him.

so with the hard look, now turned puppy eyes, there was no way wooyoung could say no to san, the charmer himself.

he sighed. “you know what? fuck that. go and get her if you want.”

there were probably fireworks bursting behind san’s eyes, that’s the only logical reason (though far from logic itself) for the sparkle in his eyes. choi san quickly bolted away from the table, adamant on getting and recruiting the woman.

wooyoung, with yunho and jongho on the other hand sticked to the main plan; find new muscles to recruit. yeonjun, changbin and their own gang were soon scattered around the basement with their own mission to accomplish. jongho was still looking around, and yunho was still seen talking to the possible recruits.

wooyoung was just talking to one of the possible recruit, giving them his business card when san pulled him away to a corner. he kept guiding on wooyoung with this grin on his face, pushing him around until wooyoung finally faced the lady they’ve been talking about.

“so this is wooyoung,” san made the intro, “he’s our trainer, supervisor, and not to mention my best friend. and we—” he stepped back behind wooyoung, “—are interested in taking you in with us.”

taking a good look in the closer distance, she looked even better. her skin looked soft, save some scratches and scars here and there, but they were mostly healed leaving just a white mark. her eyes were brown, and like when she was on the ring, had this striking look.

this one’s definitely a charmer. she just needs to be guided, and they got a perfect teacher for her. stretching his hand out, wooyoung offered her a formal handshake.

“wooyoung.”

she watched his stretched hand for a while. the unsure glint in her eyes started to flicker along the time, and she finally took wooyoung’s hand.

“son jiwoo.”

the tall, black door seemed so big and scary.

despite it being just a plain door to a restaurant.

you might think it’s the door, but a part of you knew more than that. that wasn’t just a door you had to pass, a restaurant you must enter.

kim younghoon was waiting somewhere in that restaurant for you. this was going to be your first meeting with younghoon, and you gotta make sure it’s going well. this is your first big mission, as a member of ateez.

you straighten your floral dress, fixing any possible crease before stepping inside. a waiter came to your aid, giving their best smile, “may i help you?”

you smiled back. “i have a reservation, with mr. kim younghoon. is he here?”

the waiter smiled even wider, “ah, madam! yes, mr. kim has been waiting for you. let me take your jacket.” they spoke, as they pulled your jacket off of you. “if you please follow me, madam.”

the waiter guided you to a table near the glass window, where you found younghoon sitting in a formal, yet casual look. the white fitted top and light brown pants. upon the announcement of your arrival, kim younghoon turned his head, offering you a smile so bright. the gentlemen even stood up, pulling your seat for you instead of letting the waiter do that for you.

“you look nice.” he complimented.

“and you more. i thought the suits were your best look, but these? gorgeous.”

he chuckled, “trying to charm me straight away, i see.”

“yes, but some truth can’t be hidden for too long. i also have to charm my future colleague for a chance, right?” you quipped back, earning a soft laugh from younghoon.

“you’re straightforward. i like it, it’s also the way that i am and used to.” he said. he laid back to his chair, looking at you before asking, “a straightforward man gotta speak his mind, am i right?”

“yes they do, i suppose.”

he took your answer in silence. he looked out through the window, watching the bright afternoon sky and people on the street,, seemingly deep in thoughts. gone were the light atmosphere when you got there.

then younghoon spoke one sentence and a question. the easiest way to phrase and conclude your whole mission.

“i know juyeon sent you to fix things between our families. correct?”

upon the sudden intrusion, your body froze for a second. your lips almost quivered, letting out broken words, having nothing to come up with. kim younghoon fired a bullet and it hit right on the bullseye. and he didn’t even mention anything about anything work related, despite that being one of your most important reason to pursue him.

younghoon’s eyes were back on you, and you had no choice but to spit the truth out.

“yes, you’re right, mr. kim,” you sighed, but not yet defeated. “and i’m aware of… the gap between your families, that it’s not in a good condition.”

“how much did you know?”

“that your family was a supporter to lee jiyoung back when the war was happening.” you stated.

he clicked his tongue, “i wish it was as easy as that, mrs. jung.” he sighed as he leaned back onto his chair.

“i wish to help in many ways, mr. kim. in this way, because juyeon sent me for this reason. but other than that, a work with your family is what my family aim for. a personal gain. both, or one of them is enough for me and i’m willing to do the job.” you told him, straightforwardly. “is there something i can do to fix this?”

“to fix the gap between the lees and kims? i don’t know, mrs. jung. i’m not sure if there’s a way at all,” he shrugged.

but he quickly added in, “but, regarding ateez and my family, i think we both have a chance for that. i’ve spoken with my father, and maybe, just maybe, if this works, we’ll consider juyeon’s purpose of… mending the two families. now the question remain; would you take the job, and could you do it well?”

“i’m willing to try and do my best for anything.”

“anything?”

“anything.”

the man smiled, grinning almost. “then it starts now.” he said. younghoon raised his hand, catching the sight of a waiter.

entrees were served, followed by main dishes. younghoon and you talked about each other, and he talked a lot about himself.

how he and his brother were raised in england, before moving at the age of 15 back to korea. he went to university, took classes in law school before graduating, not only from a prestigious uni but also with honors. since that, he’s been helping his father around along with his brother regarding their family business, as they’re the ones who’s going to take their father’s place place someday.

kim younghoon was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

yet he seemed far from those whiny nepo babies who fed themselves off of their father’s pocket, but act like they rule the whole world. his family’s money might back him up, but he ruled his own brain, branding himself as the smart and hardworking guy from a wealthy family who could lead even without his father’s hand in the matter.

in short, he’s a man that everyone dreams to become.

the conversation went smooth up until dessert was served. you couldn’t help yourself but to blurt out, “so, what’s the job? when am i gonna do it?”

“oh, we’re actually doing it right now,” he quipped, putting another slice of cake into his mouth.

“what?”

younghoon didn’t say anything, only flicking his hand to call for the waiter. the waiter soon came with a bright smile as they put a velvet box right in front of you. not forgetting to say what a lucky woman to have a partner like that.

a partner?

you were still not functioning perfectly, still deep in your thoughts and confused even when younghoon pushed the velvet box towards you. “open it.” he said.

“mr. kim, i— i’m, i’m not sure i—“ you had stuttered, but he silenced you up.

“just open the box.”

per his command, your hands moved to open the box. upon the first touch, you could feel the soft velvet under your fingers, quickly understanding the high quality of the box, and perhaps, the item within it. curiosity might kill the cat, but not you, you believed as you opened the box and found a piece of necklace within it. a pearl necklace stared back at you from that box.

wordlessly, younghoon stood up. he took the necklace out of its box before bringing it near your neck. his hands softly moved your hair to the side, and you quickly responded by bunching your hair in your fist, giving him access to your bare neck. as he put on the necklace, he lowered his lips next to your ear.

“you’ll find a woman to your right, dressed in all green. she’s mrs. han, a socialite in gangnam and wife to mr. han, one of the most important people in the ministry of health,” he whispered to you, “she knows me, and might’ve been watching us since the beginning. she has a daughter around our age and she had been wanting to… arrange a marriage between our families.”

“and my job is…?”

finishing on putting the necklace on, younghoon simply smiled to you. “…to be my partner. fiancee, girlfriend, whatever. to put on a show. i don’t want to be engaged in that way, but i have a brother and he’s willing to do that in my stead,”

“there’s an upcoming socialite party, and a little birdie told me you’re quite… persuasive,” he started to explain, “if you can get us an invitation, put some good words and convince her to make an arrangement between her daughter and my brother, you’ll have your way with my family. you see, we need this connection. a connection with her husband makes it easier for our drug business, even in exporting and importing. mr. han is one of the man ruling the country. prove yourself, and my father promises to invite you for a dinner, to talk about future business with ateez. even with the lees. and the offer’s still up even though you only succeeded in securing an invitation for us to the party.”

he straightened his back, offering his hand to you, “there’s still a chance to back out.”

you weren’t sure, but you shook your head and took his hand, “i won’t.”

younghoon smiled, almost so brightly, a quick change from his previous hard demeanor. he landed a long lasting kiss on the back of your hand, another added shock to you. you almost stuttered and about to pull your hand when he spoke,

“the necklace looks dashing on you, sweetheart.” he almost purred, shocking you.

“kim younghoon?”

the latter’s voice stopped you from pulling away. younghoon simply turned to the lady who called his name, giving her a smile.

“mrs. han,” he greeted back, bowing slightly, “good to see you again.”

mrs. han only chuckled, “then you should’ve visit me more often. i haven’t seen you around in any of my gatherings.” she looked behind younghoon, at you. “and i certainly have never seen this lovely lady with her lovely necklace around.” she quipped.

younghoon gave his hand for you to take, and you did, standing up from your seat next to him. “let me introduce you to my fiancee, y/n. she’s the reason i’m not around much, mrs. han. you can blame her for it.” he once again kissed your hand in a cheeky manner, and you giggled following his act. “i can’t seem to get her out of my life.” he continued.

you bowed slightly to the lady, offering her a sweet smile. “my name is y/n, pleasure to meet you mrs. han. younghoon told me many things about you.” you introduced yourself.

“all the good things, i hope.”

“don’t worry ma’am, he made me think you’re a great woman. and it shows now.”

she laughed, feeling content with your answer.

“and he didn’t forget to tell me how much of a good host you are for your party.” you smirked, starting your mission.

by the time you came home, it was almost midnight. you knew wooyoung would’ve fallen asleep by then, so you tiptoed your way into your room, with your heels in your hands.

your heart almost jumped out of your chest when the light suddenly turned on.

“where have you been?”

“shit, woo!” you cussed while holding your chest, almost panting. “baby? why aren’t you sleeping?”

wooyoung sat on the edge of your bed with his arms folded as he stared at you. “obviously, i was waiting for you.” he deadpanned, “you know i couldn’t sleep without you. so where have you been?”

you exhaled, feeling guilty that you left the man waiting for until midnight, completely forgetting the existence of modern phones and to tell him of your whereabouts. “oh, baby,” you walked up to him, cradling his face in your palms.

“i’m so sorry i made you wait,” you kissed his forehead, “i had lunch with kim younghoon, and he gave me a task. i spent the whole day planning and then reporting to hongjoong, and we had a last minute meeting with stray kids. i should’ve told you, that’s my mistake,” you explained. wooyoung sighed defeatedly, finally accepting your apologies. he circled his hands on your waist.

“it’s okay.” he muttered.

you told him to get ready for bed, while you freshen up in the bathroom, finally ready to end the night. your body felt warm, being in your comfiest pajamas, and your heart follows when you saw wooyoung on bed tucked nicely under the blanket, with his arm stretched out welcoming you in his embrace.

“how was today’s scouting?” you asked with a small voice.

“it was okay,” he answered, listing the things he had done. “got some new muscles that i gotta train. met yeonjun and changbin. and… oh!” he gasped, making you look up to him.

“what is it?”

“you know, me and san found this girl while scouting, she was badass,” he said and you could practically see the sparks in his eyes, “she fought this buff man in like, 5 seconds, though i think the man was more of muscle than skills, but isn’t that cool? san wanted her so bad he ran straight to her after the fight.”

“anyways i didn’t want to scout her at first but san would probably held me on a gunpoint if i refuse him—“ you both laughed, “—yeah right? so long story short we probably got ourselves a new charmer. i think san’s gonna teach her more, but i’ll still have to take part in physical training.”

you hummed, “san fell in love at the first sight, huh?”

wooyoung nodded, “i think i did too.”

you playfully hit his chest, making him wince dramatically as he held his chest.

“jung wooyoung! don’t you dare fall in love with her!” you threatened him. the bastard husband of yours grinned.

“are you jealous?”

“hm, i don’t know. what would you think if i hooked up with kim younghoon?”

“hey!” he whined, clearly not liking the idea of you and another man side by side. not even one bit. and that was something everyone know, and some even witnessed it with their own eyes, referring to your previous encounter with lee juyeon.

you laughed to his blatant jealousy, and maybe, seeing the smile in your face and the sound of your melodic laugh to his ears were the reason for him laughing along with you.

wooyoung pulled you close to his body, putting his chin on top of your head. the smell of your shampoo invaded his nose, and somewhat it relaxed him all the time. maybe it’s your shampoo, or maybe, it’s the fact that you’re close to him.

he breathes slowly, but you could hear his heart beating fast behind his chest. some things change, but you realize one thing stays the same; his heartbeat. whenever you put your head to his chest you always hear the same fast beat from his heart.

and you know yours beats the way his did.

“i can never love anyone else but you.”

his voice pierced through the silence as he murmured the words into your hair.

maybe it was his voice. maybe it was the sentence, the words. maybe it’s both things combined, the reason why you feel such warmth in your heart and the pleasant butterflies flying in your stomach. the combination of two simple things, yet magical enough for you to take it as a sign of love.

love.

you buried your face into his chest, trying to hide your smile. all you could say was, “i love you, woo.”

simple sentence that also warmed his heart.

to both lovers like you, those moment felt like it’s just you both against the world. in your vows; both in happiness or sadness.

“will i see you again?”

wooyoung suddenly asked. the nature of the question making you pull away from him, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“what kind of question is that?” you asked back, looking up to his face.

he seemed doubtful, that was clearly painted all over his face, visible from his eyes, the way it glinted.

wooyoung sighed. “i don’t know. you have a job, so many things to do now that hongjoong trusts you. and i’m happy for you, baby, i truly do, it’s just—“ he hesitated for a while before continuing.

“it’s— what if you get busier? what if we get so busy that… that we can’t even share a proper meal together like we used to? what if we can’t see each other as much as we used to back when we have less things to do? what if i can’t even hug you in my sleep at night? what if—“

“—what if we changed so much and turn in a direction we don’t want?”

late night thoughts do bring the most genuine question. and his was a valid one.

it’s no secret that marriage, no matter how sweet, how hot or cold, can suddenly turn lukewarm, tasteless, or even turn sour over the time.

that would be a nightmare. one that can turn very real, in any time, near or far.

to imagine a tasteless marriage life with your passionate husband made you crawl closer to him, burying your face in his chest to seek more warmth. the more seconds went the more you appreciate his prescence. taking in everything you could.

just in case it’d be your last.

“i promise we won’t turn that way, my love. i’ll do anything to keep us together. keep us, keep you safe.” you murmured into his chest.

“you just have to promise to love me still. like this. even when times go rough, when it eats us inside out, body and soul. even with the last sparks of love you have for me, love me. until i’m not here beside you.” you continued. you felt suffocated, unconsciously the littlest sniffle got out of you with the tears. “you’re all i have, wooyoung.”

desperation in it’s truest form.

but it’s true, you have no one but your husband. no family, no nothing. not even a life, if it was not for the past, or the present, given by your husband and his kin. and now that you’ve associated yourself with them, you, who used to have nothing, now have something. and it fears you to imagine losing them.

to go back to the solitude you were in before.

hearing your cries crushed him. he tightened his hands around you, securing you in his grasp, giving you the most comfort one could give. he might regret the way he voiced out his concerns today, yet it was an important question within your relationship.

and a silent way to say that he fears of losing you, too.

“i’m here, baby. i love you,” he said, giving a peck on your hair,

“and i promise to keep that love for as long as i live.”

NOT EVEN HALFWAY BUT I STILL WANNA FINISH THE WHOLE THING. enjoy. both in reading and waiting uwu

also we’re getting closer to… the start of the angst.

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ice-sculptures · 1 year

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hey everyone!! so, originally, i wanted to do one of these back when all of y'all were posting your 'follow forever' + favorite blogs lists for new year's eve, but at that point in time i didn't feel like i knew anyone well enough to make a full list. but now, it's been almost nine months (holy shit!!!) since i joined this fandom, and there have been so many people that i've connected with and who have made my experience on here so much fun and so special.

plus...it's my birthday today, so i thought - what better way to celebrate it than to show my immense love & appreciation for all my mutuals, followers friends, and anyone who has ever made my tumblr experience better?

this isn't really in any particular order, and also, i am so so sorry if i forgot anyone. i had to type this out at least six times over the past two months because tumblr kept deleting my progress for some reason, so i'm really sorry if i missed anyone because of it. i recognize the urls of anyone that regularly interacts with my posts, so i promise that if you've ever left nice tags in the reblogs of my gifs or replied to any of my WIPS or tagged me in a gifset or in a tag game or sent me a nice ask or anything at all, really, please know that i think you're wonderful and i love you all so much even if tumblr hates me and decided to erase all of the evidence of it 😅

okay, enough dillydallying!! putting this under a cut so that it doesn't swallow ur dash whole....n here we go :)

@fireplceashes hi jen!! i know i said like. just one paragraph above that this was in no particular order, but i immediately broke the no. 1 rule of law and lied, bc as my very first friend in this fandom you are so undoubtedly so special to me and i'm putting you first just because i Can and no one can stop me. but anyway. where do i even begin with you? you are easily one of the sweetest people i have Ever, ever met - not just on tumblr, but in my real life as well - and i really love talking to you So much. thank you so much for always listening to my rants, and checking up on me, and just generally being there for me. you're just a really soothing person to talk to and i never have to worry about being 'too much' or anything like that when i'm talking to you. and of course - you are also so, so talented, and your gifs are absolutely stunning. they always turn out so beautifully, and i'm so in awe of your editing skills. basically...i'm just Very grateful to have met you, and *mike wheeler voice* all of my other mutuals, they're great, but my fandom experience would not be the same without you ❤️

@basiltonpitch spencer!! i feel the need to echo the first thing i said to you and remind you that i think you're a genius :') fun fact that i haven't told you: when i first found your blog, even before i realized that you were That person who wrote the benvi meta that i loved, the first posts that i saw from you were your beautiful web weavings, and i was immediately like Who is this person??? and Who gave them the permission to stomp all over my heart like this?? wtf?? i just. i love ur brain So so much and i'm so grateful that i get to enjoy your creativity in not one but two of my favorite fandoms (soon to be 3 with 911 maybe?) oh also...this is slightly embarrassing but i've gone back through your blog a few times just so i can read your incredible meta because all of your thoughts are so valuable to me. you are the Only person on this site that i trust to Get devi vishwakumar and one of the biggest reasons why i'm so excited for never have i ever s4 to drop is so that i can experience it alongside you!! and even outside of your creative genius, you are one of my favorite people to talk to bc you're so kind and so supportive and such an absolute sweetheart and i really love hearing everything you have to say. so. um. basically. i am just a Spencer Enthusiast through and through 💖

@padmedala carson!! hello!! first off, i've said this to you a million times, but i want to thank you once again for writing one of my favorite pieces of byler fanfiction. do you know that one post about reading fanfics and having to stop because 'he would not say that?' well, your work is the epitome of reading a fic and feeling wholly satisfied because yes, he would say that - in fact, i would not hesitate for a minute to say that you have the strongest grasp on will and mike's characterization - especially their dynamic together - out of any writer i've met in this entire fandom. like...i enjoy your writing so much that i've read a couple of your pieces for IT despite not having any knowledge of the source material simply because i wanted to experience more of your work. you're also such a deeply kind and supportive person, and you have no idea how much i appreciate every single time you've checked up on me or sent me a sweet message or even just dropped into my inbox to say hello. you make my dash infinitely brighter, and i'm so very glad to know you and have you as a friend on here 💞

@wllbyers dani!! hi!! i have so much to say abt how wonderful you are, and i was struggling w how to articulate this for a while, but then i remembered that you once said to me that you found my presence on the dash comforting, and honestly, that's exactly how i feel about you. forgive me for the awkward metaphor, but seeing you on the dash is like coming home after a long day and having a warm, home-cooked meal. seeing your url and icon always makes me smile, and i'm so grateful that we're mutuals because of how kind, considerate, and utterly genuine you are!! i don't know if i'm describing this right, but you just feel so real, you know? i feel like your personality shines through with every post you make, and i always love seeing it. and i'm sorry if this is weird to say, but your openness and your authenticity about everything going on in your life makes me feel a little bit less alone about my own struggles. also do you remember when you started watching 911 and eventually ended up getting ahead of me, and you tagged each and every one of your posts just so that i wouldn't get spoiled? i know it seems simple, but the sheer fact that you thought of doing that just for me had me melting into a little puddle w my face looking like that one meme of kristen bell. you are just so, so lovely and i'm unbelievably glad we're mutuals 🥰

@willblogger ima i've said this many times before but i absolutely Need to say it again: you are genuinely the funniest person on byler tumblr. i cannot count the number of times that you've made me full-on belly laugh (to the point where my stomach starts to hurt) and completely destroyed my attempts to casually and inconspicuously scroll through tumblr in public places. i dunno how you do it at all but every single thing you say is such an absolute delight and i am always giggling n kicking my feet when i read the tags on all of your posts. the thousands of people on tiktok and twitter copying your jokes could never do it like you. you've also got this deep understanding of the way the text has been written and i really appreciate how your analysis honors the characters as they are instead of trying to make them more palatable them for this fandom. it's just. it's rare to find people that love these characters as they are and understand them as well as you do and i feel very lucky to have found your blog. also this is not related at all but ur plushies are cute as fuck & i love them :) OH!! n thank u sm for being my number one stevebucky enthusiast mutual n partner in rage when it comes to avengers endgame!! can't wait to have a hate party w you (if you'd like) in five days 💗

@willelfanpage SARA HI HELLO do u see me waving at you. this is me holding up a banner screaming abt how much i love you. as the resident fandom cheerleader who gives and gives and gives so much love to everyone she interacts with, you deserve someone cheering YOU back on and that is what i am here to do!! you are so brilliant and you have never made an incorrect post in your life!!! all your fics are wonderful and i've loved reading them!! you are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you make everyone around you feel so safe and comfortable and welcome here. like. i can't tell you how much i admire how open you are with your kindness and friendship and how you give it so freely to everyone you interact with. i love talking to you so much - whether it's hearing about your life or sharing our ideas with one another or just. venting about anything i want to - and your enthusiasm is utterly infectious and makes me feel more hyped and excited to be in fandom. forgive me for being so sappy on main but i will never not be touched by your endless love for fandom, not only these characters and the works that people make, but for the people around you as well and i hope u know i love u very much too 💞

@jackietaylcrs hii marianne fellow haver of good taste!! i remember you once made a post wondering if your followers would still love you if your stranger posting went down to 0.5% and i wanted to lyk that i definitely would!! i really like reading your commentary on ST and yellowjackets, but even when you're posting about a show that i'm not familiar with, you have this Way of speaking that i find very charming and funny and entertaining, and you bring this inimitable energy to my dash that i doubt i could ever find elsewhere. i like the way you sign off your posts with 'and like i say: brf slt.' i think it’s Neat n it fits you very well. alsooo THANK YOU very very much for being the one to convince me to watch yellowjackets!! people have been telling me to watch it for a long time but in the end it was your posts that made me say, fuck it, and finally watch it. also. um. ur posts abt stephen harrison make me feel very Seen so. thank u. ok bye 💗

@emblazons hello marie my beloved mutual marie!! honestly, out of everything in this post, this message was the hardest to write because i don't even know where to begin with you!! you bring so, so much to this fandom - your thoughtful, entertaining, levelheaded commentary, your stunning gifsets, your logical and witty posts, your incredibly supportive and kind personality, and your endless passion for this show and all that goes into making it, as well as our shared love & enthusiasm for noah schnapp 😅 every time i think you've made the most brilliant observation or put out the most beautiful set, you go and top yourself by finding something new or making an even prettier gifset. if i had to pick one person whose contributions to the fandom enriched my experience of this show? more than anyone, it would be you!! and i could go on and wax poetic about your talent forever (as i have on many, many occasions bc you deserve it 🥰), but i'm gonna end it here by saying that you are a gift to this fandom and one of my absolute favorite people on here, and that i'm beyond grateful to know you.

@mikeandwillel sandy!!!! you are so so smart and your analysis is absolutely incredible. i look forward to each and every one of your analyses because you always find the most clever parallels and your deep dives into each of these characters' arcs are always written with so much care and skill. and of course, i forever have you to thank for writing The ultimate masterpiece (your s4 painting arc analysis) that finally convinced me of byler endgame and thus made my fandom experience so much more relaxing and fun. i also really love & how much you love mike for all that he is -- i feel like it's a little rare in this fandom, so seeing how much you adore his true character and how you Understand him better than anyone else i've ever met makes me really happy. and not to mention, i have no idea how you managed to get so good at gifmaking in such a short amount of time but all your sets are so beautiful!! you're a gem fr 💖

@babygirl-jonathanbyers abbyyyyyy hello!! do you know how much i love seeing you on my dash? i love your pure, unapologetic love for jonathan, jancy, and the byers brothers and it really makes my whole day when i see a post from you appreciating those characters/ships. your moodboards are also So pretty and your presence on my dash is so positive and welcoming. i hope you're doing well on your hiatus rn and i can't wait to see you back on here again 🫂

@elmaxed lumiiiii hi!!!! when i think of you, honestly, the very first word that comes to mind is creative, because you bring so much to this fandom and i'm so grateful for it. i'm obsessed with everything you write because your fics are so lively and fun and make me smile uncontrollably every time i read them, all your headcanons are brilliant and adorable, your moodboards are gorgeous and not to mention, your themes are always so beautiful!! you're just...such a ray of sunshine on my dash and i'm so happy to have followed you 🥰

@mlchaelwheeler sarahhhhh my favorite stonathan pioneer and one of my first mutuals in this fandom!! i think you already know this but your analyses were a huge part of what got me into the byler fandom in the first place and i have never looked back, so thank you for that!! i Love love love ur theories (especially the s5 spec stuff) and i love seeing u in my notifs and reading your lovely and enthusiastic tags on everything you reblog and i love your love for st's OST!! you're a really smart, sweet, and positive person with the best opinions and i am forever rooting for mike to get a sword in s5 just for you 🙏🏼

@bylrndgm dearest elz you have no idea how happy your blog makes me 🥹 you're one of the most talented gifmakers i've ever met, and i always find myself smiling so much whenever i see you've posted something new (especially your byler x TS edits 🥰) because they're always so beautiful!! i've also always felt like your blog and everything you've posted is one of the purest and most expressions of love for mike and will....it's so clear that you love them So much and your blog makes me so happy to be part of this community. you've also always been so sweet to me throughout my entire time in this fandom and you're one of the people that has made me feel most welcome here. also since i never ended up responding to your DM i wanted to say that whatever path you choose, i'm sure that you're going to crush it and i am rooting for your success always 💖

@madcleradin sierra madcleradin byhops finalgirlbyers willcoded!! ok i promise i don't mean this in a weird parasocial way but i kind of admired you from a distance for a while even before we were mutuals just because every single one of your posts that ended up on my dash had me nodding my head and tapping my brain in agreement and clapping for u like this 👏🏼 all of your takes are top tier and i love how passionate you are about everything you talk about!! you're def one of the sweetest, friendliest, and coolest people on byler tumblr and following u has been such a gift ❣

@byclairs hello emily!! your gifs are absolutely stunning and i love following you because i Know i can always count on you to have the most based takes, both on stranger things (especially ur will takes - those keep me sane fr) and on fandom as a whole. also just wanna say that you have the best taste in ships and that you've got a 10/10 banger of a url that always has me mentally giving you a thumbs up whenever i see you on the dash ❤️

@heroesbyler stav!! you're one of the most brilliant analysts on this site and i'm so in awe of all of the incredible theories and analyses you've posted!! i'm obsessed w all of your banger gay mike posts & i'm also both fascinated and disturbed by all of the dots you've connected regarding brenner, henry, & the lab. your posts are so insightful and compelling and you've made me think about so many things that i never would've noticed on first glance. i also love that you're both unflinchingly confident but also insanely kind - a rarity in most fandoms, especially this one, and i love that energy on my dash. i'm very proud to be your grandma (your words not mine -- no i will not let you forget about that 🙏🏼)

@mandycantdecide hiiiii amanda!! i love your blog so much, and even though we don't share all of the same fandoms i love seeing your posts about everything you're interested in because i can always feel your energy and enthusiasm for it no matter what :) in fact, it was actually your posts that made me want to get back into 911, and you have no idea how grateful i am to you for that because being in that fandom is the most fun i've had in a really long time. so thank you, thank you thank you for that, and for generally being so sweet 💕

@howtobecomeadragon ayla!! hello!! i know we don't know each other super well but i Really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your posts and all of your contributions to this fandom. you were one of my first favorite blogs when i first joined in august and you have no idea how thrilled i was when you followed me back haha 😅 i looooove your theory posts so much and i think your fics are fantastic (and i am Eagerly awaiting the end of come back to me and forgive everything so i can read it). you're also super sweet and kind to everyone around you, and i love seeing you on my dash 💞

@mrperfectlyfinetv hi jake!! as my designated Swiftie Mutual i feel like i should let you know that i don't usually follow taylor swift blogs bc swifties are scary but your gifs are so gorgeous and your takes are so good that i just Had to break my rule and follow you anyway. i really enjoy reading all of your opinions on miss swift even if you are a rep hater asdkjendfcskjflejrf and i adore all of your pretty ST and taylor swift gifsets!! i also love how much you love speak now and you've definitely made me go back and give it a few more listens so that i can appreciate it more & at this point i'm begging taylor to release speak now tv soon just for you 🫶

@magentamee - hi bre :) your art style is absolutely delicious and your writing is so cute and i've always noticed how committed you are to uplifting everyone around you in this fandom. also this is random but your friendship with amanda and @/likegoldintheair is so cute and whenever you guys post about each other i always find myself smiling at how sweet your interactions are. you’re just a person who always brings a smile to my face when i see you on the dash and i want to thank you for that 💗

@paintingformike hi!! i've said this before but i really do think you've always been The strongest soldier in the byler fandom (like, ngl your posts were Carrying byler tumblr for a while there while everyone was still in their debating-over-s5-canon phase). you've always been so levelheaded and astute with your observations, and i've always admired and respected how your posts make it seem so simple and So clear how all of the overarching themes of the show are leading to byler endgame. you've got an incredible way with words and i'm so glad to have you in our fandom 💞

and now for the creatives in this fandom - some incredible gifmakers whose beautiful sets have been the highlight of my dash, some wonderful writers who have ripped my heart out over and over again only to stitch it back together seamlessly just one paragraph later, and brilliant fan artists who are able to capture so much and make me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion with just a few brush strokes:

@sharpesjoy - em!! you're an absolute sweetheart and such a joy to see on my dash. all of your gifs are so gorgeous and so clearly infused with all of the love that you have for everything you watch and i've added several shows to my watchlist because your gifs have made me want to watch them so badly 💞

@heroeddiemunson - kai!! your creations are so beautiful and you have this unique gifmaking style that i'm totally obsessed with!! your colorings and typography are always so pretty and i Love how special and creative your sets are, especially the D&D character sheets. like.....i have no idea how u come up w all these incredible ideas but i'm so very glad u do bc my dash is better for it❣️

@kaliprasad - hi!! your blog is amazing and i'm so glad that i found it bc all your gifs are fantastic and i love them So much. i think your talent is insane tbh, that byers brothers set that you made for me a little while ago is still one of my favorite things i've seen on this whole site, and i love that you love them just as much as i do 🫂

@kingofscoops - no one, and i mean no one, does coloring like you!! all of your sets are so vibrant and bring so much life to my dash & i think the ST fandom is very lucky to have you ❤️

@aliecenthightower - emilia!! your gifs are stunning and i'm completely in love with your song lyric edits. they're all absolutely beautiful and i'm in awe of how perfect and emblematic the lyrics you choose are, like you just Get these characters, y'know?

@mayahawkins - MADDYYYYYYY you are So talented, and believe me when i say that your gifs have been the Biggest inspiration for my own gifmaking journey. all your sets are so pretty & i love everything you make - including your playlists which live rent free in my mind!! but as a reminder i also love following your blog for You and not just your gifs :) you're an incredibly sweet person and ur presence on my dash is utterly invaluable 💗

@padme-amidala - hi erika!! okay, calling you a gifmaker almost feels wrong because that word doesn't feel like enough to encompass how beautiful your work is...all ur ideas are So amazing and you have such a natural eye for color and detail!! it is so clear that you pour so much love into all of your creations, and if i'm being honest, one of the reasons why i am so grateful to be a byler shipper is so that i can appreciate your craft to the fullest. and you're also Such a genuinely kind person that i always look forward to seeing on the dash!! thank you for being so lovely!!

@wiseatom - hi thea!! your writing is the ultimate definition of comfort. when i read ur work, no matter what i'm doing physically, mentally i am in my cozy bed with the fireplace crackling in the corner, surrounded by twinkly lights and warm blankets, sipping hot cocoa bc that is the kind of emotion ur writing invokes ✨

@byeler - irene!! your fics were my introduction to the world of byler fics and i admire you and your writing so very much 💞 i don't know how it's possible for one person to have this much skill and talent, but you do, and i'm so grateful that you've chosen to share it with us. eagerly waiting on a new heavy hopes chapter was one of the highlights of my fandom experience and that fic is a piece of writing that i will always come back to over and over again 🫶

@astrobei - suni i have been reading fics for over a decade now and i have still never encountered a writer that does emotion quite like you do, devastating me with every single fic you put out. i promise i mean this in the best way possible but you're So damn good at capturing all of that heartbreak and pain and inflicting the same agony on your readers, and it would have killed me by now if not for the fact that you're equally good at writing the sweetest fluff that has me melting into a puddle whenever i read 🫂

@hopelessromanfic - lyssaaaa!!! i've been Such a huge fan of landslide ever since you started writing it - it's one of my all time favorite fics in the fandom and i'm obsessed with the storyline and your characterization in all of your fics 😍

@artistaquinterob - hi!! your art style is so ADORABLE and your use of color in your work is stunning and i just adore everything you draw, especially your will and el art and your jargyle art 🥹

@junkoandthediamonds - your character studies are beautiful and i'm obsessed with your byler comics, your gifs and your ST x DC crossovers!!! i love your realistic style so So much and if i worked for the duffers i would 1000000% hire you to draw the official comics because i can't get enough of your work 🥰

@livsmessydoodles - fun fact: last year, when HSMTMTS s3 was airing, i remember seeing your rina art throughout the season and immediately fell in love with your style and your interpretation of the characters, and the same exact thing happened when i saw your ST work, and it wasn't until you followed me that i put the pieces together and realized that you were the same person 😅 your style is So gorgeous and your art just makes me so happy, and trust me when i say that i am mentally wallpapering all of your work to the inside of my brain so i can look at it forever❣️

and of course, a very special shoutout to all of the people that i don't know too well but are still such a comfort to have on tumblr: @miwism @yearninginblue @kittykat940 @robinsnance @jesper-faheyss @bylersheart @usergabby @achingly-shy @wheelersboy @wontbyers @stbyers @will80sbyers @watpoetry @frodohaven 💝

+ to all my other mutuals: tumblr wouldn't let me link your profiles because of some ridiculous limit, but please know that i see all of you and i am hugging you through my screen rn. thank you!! 👍🏼

#WHEW this took me a million years. but it was So worth it <3 #also i'm so pleased w the gif. cause it's me!! it's my icon!!!!#crazy together & purple :)#but anyway. thank u all for existing 💖#myedit #rae.txt #bday

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