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prying-pandora666 · 6 months

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On Alucard and Maria

Are there actually fans advocating for Alucard to be written as Maria’s father figure in the new season of Nocturne? Like that would be a good thing and not infinitely creepier? I don’t think they’ve thought this through.

Alucard is the single most popular character in the franchise. He’s also probably the most shipped character. And yet he has only had one canon love interest in the decades since he’s existed. It’s Maria. And you’re telling me that you think that because he’s 300+ and she’s 17-18 when they started living together in the games, that it would be grooming. However, somehow him inserting himself into her life at age 16 when she’s just lost both her parents wouldn’t come off like grooming!?

Does this man look like he should be picking up random children!? He’s literally terrified of his own cursed blood. Maybe LISTEN TO HIM.

I’m convinced fandoms have forgotten what that word means. Grooming has specific features. It doesn’t just mean “older guy and younger girl.” A relationship with an age gap or an uneven power dynamic can be exploitative or abusive without being a case of grooming. Grooming specifically refers to the process of forming a relationship with a child with the intention of leveraging that relationship and trust to train and prepare (aka brainwash) your victim for the harmful activities the groomer wants to normalize. The relationship Alucard and Maria have in the games is in no way grooming. You know what would be grooming though?

Coming into a 16 year old’s life when she’s vulnerable, traumatized, and recently orphaned only to insinuate yourself as a new father figure. This is so highly inappropriate and a huge red flag. Consider what you’re actually asking for here. These characters do not exist in a a vacuum. They have a long history together as each other’s only canon love interests. You cannot fully extract them from the games, art, interviews, audio dramas, animations, and more where they’re depicted as a couple. There are decades of this precedent and you are asking Netflix to knowingly take the characters with an established romantic dynamic that the audience is already primed to see as romantic and instead portray their meeting as him trying to be her new daddy?

“Oh look! Alucard and his… daughter? Yikes.” This is an official advertisement btw.

THAT is grooming! Think about the optics of this! It would be abysmal! No it would NOT fix the problem of their age gap to make him act like a groomer and get in good with her as a dad. You just cannot completely extract them from the legacy of their relationship in the source materials. It will be incredibly creepy and textbook grooming if you get your way.

Is this really what you want to associate with an “adoptive father Alucard”? Because the art we create doesn’t exist in a vacuum. All the old content—official and fanmade—is still going to exist.

What is so objectionable about the original dynamic anyway? It’s a pretty fun subversion of the tired and problematic vampire trope of “vampire man stalks teen girl and coerces her into being his”. Instead in their original relationship, Maria is the one who pursues Alucard! It’s the young woman who takes initiative and is given the agency to go after what she wants. She courts and woos him. That’s part of the fun!

Yes, Alucard is 300+. He’s also a fictional creature that doesn’t actually exist IRL and stays eternally young. There are no actual people who will ever have his problem of staying 20 forever so it’s rather silly to say he can’t date any humans because of course he will have an age gap with any of them.

The only real problem I have seen people bring up is Maria’s age, but from what I can tell, the show’s already fixed this. Check it out.

In The Games

Rondo of Blood: Maria is 12. She and Alucard do not meet. Richter is a brother-figure and not romantic.

There is then a 5 year time skip.

Symphony of the Night: Maria is 17. She and Alucard meet to save Richter. At the end, Alucard says his goodbyes and intends to return to a life of solitude. Maria goes after him because she has developed feelings for him and doesn’t want him to suffer a life alone.

Maria is given agency to pursue what she wants and prove herself even against Alucard’s resistance and hesitance to let another person into his life.

They spend a year together before we get the audio drama.

Nocturne of Remembrance: Maria continues to try to get close to Alucard. They end up saving each other’s lives and in the end he finally confesses his romantic feelings for her. She is an adult and perfectly able to make her own choices. She chose him. He admits he returns her feelings.

How fandom can look at a story about a young woman subverting the trope and chasing the vampire to get what she wants—basically an anti-Bella Swan—and still find a way to disempower her just so they can pearl clutch? I couldn’t tell you.

So now let’s look at what the show did.

In The Show

Nocturne S1: Maria is 16. She’s been aged up from 12, probably to give her a more active and believable role. But this also means she’s within a normal age to start feeling attraction and expressing her wants. Within her society, she’s even considered of marriageable age. However we are spared the discomfort of our modern values clashing with her contemporaneous ones because Maria in this season isn’t interested in romance. She’s interested in revolution, equality, justice. They’ve portrayed her with so much love and strength. There is no indication they’d betray her by writing her as the child victim of a male suitor. In fact she only meets Alucard in the final few seconds of the season and the two do not even speak a single word to one another.

Now let’s remember the games had a five year time skip. The show only needs two years to get Maria to the adult age of 18, but assuming the follow through with the timeline and go for the full five?

Maria will be 21.

21.

Fan concept for adult Maria. Credit:@esp-art

Are you telling me a 21 year old woman is not old or mature enough to make her own decisions? How is this not a total infantilization of women? Do you think a 21 year old badass vampire hunter needs protection from the ace depressed dhampir boy who just wants to sleep and has in no way tried to pursue her until after she expressed consistent and persistent interest in him?

It is not “grooming” to meet someone when they were younger and then meet them again years later as an adult. That’s a thing that happens! In real life! Adults can still make decisions for themselves! It is only grooming if Alucard behaved in a way that would manipulate teen Maria and put her under his control and authority before she can consent. There is no indication that Alucard in the show is going to do this. And yet the fandom is basically demanding it by saying he should make her “his baby girl”?

And what of Maria’s feelings in all this? She just lost her mother and was betrayed by her father shortly after discovering he even existed. She has lived her whole life without a father. She is in no desperate need of a new one. And if she does need a family member, she already has one! Richter is 19 and is her trusted adoptive brother. Why wouldn’t she go to him over a total stranger she just met and who is half vampire - literally a predator creature that feeds on humans!?

Yeah, hi, Richter Belmont still exists. He and Maria consider each other family. Why would you want her relying on a strange man she just met as a “father figure” rather than her trusted and loving brother?

Have none of you even considered how Maria would feel if Alucard even tried to fill the paternal role? He’d have to force it on her through manipulation and coercion. No way she would want to view him that way. Especially considering she is 16 and likely to be as attracted to the sparkly 20 year old looking sculpted marble beauty as anyone else!

Don’t mind the beautiful eternally young man who looks made of pure porcelain and light. No teen girl has ever been attracted to this, right? No way it could be exploitative and creepy for him to present himself as her new daddy, giving himself authority and influence over her as his child to mold as he wishes, right? Oh yeah, this is MUCH better than Maria pursuing him of her own volition once she becomes an adult, right guys?

We are truly in the stupidest dark timeline.

Frankly, I don’t care if Netflix has them get together or not. They would work just fine as friends too. I just sure as hell hope they’ll ignore the fans clamoring for a creepy daddy/daughter dynamic. Dressing it up as “concern” won’t hide that for some it’s a fetish, and for others they’re just useful idiots who haven’t thought it through.

I implore you to think it through.

#castlevania #castlevania netflix #castlevania nocturne #alucard #maria renard

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udretlnea · 2 years

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Broken Wings Can Still Be Rebuilt (A fan work inspired by“LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME BUILD” GI x Dream SMP)

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT CANON TO GENSHIN IMPACT X DREAM SMP by @victoria1676. This is a fan work inspired by her work. PLEASE GO FOLLOW AND CHECK OUT HER WORK AS IT IS QUITE GOOD IMO.

Author’s Note: I’m going to be 100% transparent and state that for her brief appearance, I attached myself to Mei Mallory; it was after her dethroning and disappearance that caught my muse’s interest. So I thought, “What happens to her after she disappears in Snezhnaya?” and several days of writing-and drawing-later this was the end result. Also, since Mei Mallory canonically doesn’t have an official design IIRC I simply used my interpretation, but feel free to use your own in your own works/art pieces. (Comments & critiques are welcomed.)

Synopsis: Mei’s story as the imposter creator may have ended, but that doesn’t mean other beings’ attention haven’t been caught by this strange timeline, and with the multiverse still open for interdimensional travel it was only a matter of time before someone reared their head in this direction.

Content Warning: Graphic Descriptions of Violence/Torture. (Hey fyi I like that trope where the person uses jokes and smiles as a coping mechanism ;P)

As she felt the glowing lance pierce her stomach, the young lady merely closed her eyes and waited for darkness to take her. When she opened them again, she found herself right back in her cell, shackled to the wall; her body untouched and did not possess any wounds.

With a resigned sigh, the young woman merely brushed her long hair to the side and slumped on the nearby wall; shivering, she huddled into a ball in an attempt to keep warm.

Well, that was quicker than I expected, Mei Mallory thought as she picked up a rusty nail and began carving another line alongside the others. Including just now with the Tsartisa, that makes…twelve? Damn these bitches really are crazy about showing loyalty to their god.

Tossing the nail aside, Mei casually strode towards the cell bars and leaned her head on them lazily; the shackles on her wrists and ankles clanked noisily. She looked at the Fatuus that was standing straight, but even she could sense his drowsiness from where she stood.

“Heya Vikky! How’s it been?” The Fatuus moved his head as if he were about to reply, but stopped himself. “Aw come on, indulge a lady soon-to-face certain death with some conversation will you?”

Viktor scoffed. “Go jump off a cliff, impostor.”

“Haha! Funny you should say that! I think I did jump off a cliff once in order to escape some people who were chasing me…but that was so long ago. Wow. It’s been so long since I stepped foot into Szeznhaya. I thought I’d find at least someone who was still loyal to me.” Mei shook her head. “I’m sure you can figure out how that ended. Look at me, the once great creator of Teyvat now reduced to a lowly prisoner.”

“Don’t you dare call yourself that, not after what you did. Or have you forgotten how much pain and trouble you’ve caused for the Creator?”

“Yeah…yeah I did sort of do that, didn't I?” Mallory hit her head on the bar and let her arms hang in the air limply. She stared at the ground as blurry images of that person being run through with her sword, only to be enveloped by a golden light and reappear with wings and no injuries; the sight of their eyes-Archons those eyes filled with pure hate-appeared in her head, and when she concentrated she could remember all those times she was slain, only to be brought back to life once more. “Haha…what a wonderfully messed-up timeline this is. Oh well…what are you gonna do? Go back in time and fix things?”

With that, Mei retreated to the bench attached to the wall and sat down; she curled herself up in a ball with a miserable smile.

Haha…what’s wrong with me? Showing vulnerability…have I truly fallen so far…? Mei buried her head in her arms. Get a grip Mallory. Everything you’ve ever dreamed of is gone. Your power, your throne, your subjects-everything is gone…and the worst part is it’s all your fault.

It's all my fault.

…Haha…since when did I…feel so sorry for myself? All of a sudden, I feel so tired.

Let me rest…I have a feeling whatever they have planned for me I’m gonna need the strength for it.

Ill Dottore strode through the icy halls of Zapolyarny Palace; the way to the dungeon was more or less memorized by him, and by extension all of the other harbingers. It just so happened that it was his turn to “play” with the impostor Mallory. He turned right before reaching a door; after opening it, he descended several flights of stairs until he reached a metal door with a lone Fatuus standing guard; his small smile stayed on even as he nodded and opened the door for the Doctor.

Marching into the room, the last thing he expected was that everything was practically made of solid ice, including the bars holding the impostor. The Fatuus that was standing next to it was looking almost tired, but the sight of the Doctor stirred him to stand upright.

“Bring out the impostor.” Dottore said. Viktor inserted his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a ring of keys; he fumbled with them, trying to recall which one was the correct one until he pulled a small key, inserted it into the lock, and turned. There was a satisfying kachunk and Viktor opened the cell door. Mallory lay on the bench, curled into a ball. Dottore observed her form uncaringly as Viktor stepped inside, grabbed her by the shoulders, and hoisted her on her feet; Mei jolted awake and stood unsteadily on her feet.

“Wha-? Hey! I was napping…!” Her eyes landed on Ill Dottore and they widened; she sighed and put her hands behind her back, smirking. “Oh hey Dotty, I guess it’s your turn to be taking care of me, ehe~”

The Fatuus behind Dottore let out a snort; the Doctor said nothing and began walking out of the dungeon. Viktor shoved Mei out of the cell who promptly started walking behind the Harbinger; as for the second Fatuus in the room, he followed closely behind Viktor.

The four walked out of the dungeon without much event.

“Hmm…say, Viktor, would it be remiss of one to forget to do their patrols?” The Fatuus asked out loud.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You know…it would be a shame if someone were to just, let the backdoor open, and let an intruder in…” He trailed off.

While this was happening, Mei was having a one-sided conversation with Dottore,

“So Doc! What’ll it be this time? Ya gonna slowly cut me up while I’m still alive? Or maybe have me drink a poison that’ll make my insides burn while you sit and watch? Oh, don’t tell me: You’re gonna tell one of those clones of yours to do their worst!” Mei clasped her hands together in mock delight. “Hahaha! I adore those other versions of you, ya know? They’re just so much more…fun to be around than this…older…version of you-!”

Dottore sighed internally as the argument between the two grunts got more heated.

“Ahaha! I’m only stating the hypothetical! I mean, only a fool would try to infiltrate the most sacred place in all of Snezhnaya-”

“I said will you shut up already-?!” Viktor yelled at the other Fatuus, finally stopping and turning himself around to stop him. “You’re talking crazy, you know that? Nobody in their right mind would want to infiltrate this place unless they wanted something from here!”

The Fatuus tilted his head. “You mean someone like her?”

“Pft, nah, who’d ever want some scum like her?” He grinned at Viktor.

“...I would.”

“What-oof!” Viktor flew across the room after getting punched with enough force, hurtling into Mei who tripped forward and clung onto Dottore’s jacket; taken by surprise, the Doctor fell backwards as the two’s combined weight caused him to fall on top of them.

“Ugh-!?” “What is the meaning of this!?” “Ughhh you two are heavy…”

“Hahahaha!” The trio froze in their efforts to untangle themselves and stared at the only one who was standing; he was grinning widely, his teeth bare for them to see.

He stuck out his right hand to his side and slowly moved it in front of his torso; when the hand passed, his Fatui uniform changed into a dark gray metallic suit. When it passed his head, a dark helmet magically appeared on its head; it had two protruding horns that pointed in opposite directions. There were six red triangles in front; three triangles were larger than the others and had small orange pupils. When the transformation was complete, standing before them was a tall man in a futuristic-looking suit.

“Why hello there,” he greeted the awe-struck trio. His voice seemed to reverberate, as if there were at least several other voices mixed in. “Say, do you guys wanna see a magic trick?”

He held his hand out and a second later, grabbed a violet blue staff that manifested out of thin air. On the end of it was an orange block with what looked like a square gray console with lights on it. Grinning like a child that got to try out their new toy, he flourished it, twirling it around and then pointing it at them. A moment later, a beam of light shot out from the cube at the end and enveloped Viktor and Dottore; he pointed the end of the staff up, and in turn the two Fatui rose in the air. With a slight flick of the wrist he nudged the staff forward, and they shot backwards with enough force that they crashed through the wall at the end of the hall.

Mei stared at the hole her captors left, unaware of the sound of footsteps coming closer. She blinked and turned around to find the stranger’s orange eyes gazing down at her while still wearing the manic grin.

“Don’t worry, they’re not important to the story,” he said. He pointed the staff at both of her shackles and a beam fired, making them disappear. “You, on the other hand, are what’s important, Mei Mallory.”

Mei rubbed her wrists, chafed from being shackled for so long. Slowly, she stood up straight and looked him in the eye; it was taking every ounce of her willpower to keep her legs from shaking.

“How do you know my name?” She asked in a soft voice. She internally cursed herself for sounding weak, but right now she was dealing with something unknown. Judging from the strange outfit this man is wearing, perhaps…he too comes from somewhere else? That block looks eerily similar to the one that…that they used.

“Short answer? We’ve been watching you for quite some time now. We have deemed you worthy of…redemption. Atonement.” He pointed his staff at the wall to his right and fired. It exploded in a shower of pebbles, and Mei covered her head; she parted her fingers and saw that a hole was blown, revealing the snowy landscape and the night sky. The cold fresh air washed over her body, but to her it was refreshing after being kept in the dank cell. Suddenly she felt a tingle throughout her body and the cold subsided as warmth overtook her. “There we go. Now follow me. It won’t be long now until the rest come to investigate.”

Atonement? Me? Mei thought disbelievingly. “What are you talking about?”

“Hmm…now’s not the perfect time or place to explain, or have you forgotten where we are?” He started walking away from her and into the snow. “If you truly want answers and a way out, then follow…”

Mei watched him march away, her hands clasped in front of her chest; she looked at the hole in the wall with uncertainty. Then she looked outside where her rescuer(?) was still walking away unperturbed by the snow.

I don’t have much of a choice do I? She sighed. Well let’s hope wherever he’s going is less of a hellhole than this place.

Deciding her best bet was with the stranger, she stepped outside and ran towards him, her footsteps leaving marks in the snow.

By the time she caught up with him, he was standing in front of a large tree absentmindedly tapping the end of the staff against his other hand. He turned around once Mei got close enough.

“I don’t mean to sound rude, but shouldn’t we be running for the hills? We’re still awfully close to the palace,” Mei said with a pleasant smile on her face, though her tone had undercurrents of worry in it.

“Oh don’t you worry dear, I’ve taken care of that loose end. It should be setting off right…about…now…!” He snapped his fingers and a massive explosion rocked the ground; Mei turned around to find a cloud of smoke erupting from the now-on-fire Zapolyarny Palace. Mei covered her face as a wave of heat washed over her. “Haha! Nice…that came out better than I expected.”

“Was that…really necessary? The explosion?” He pointed his staff at the ground and several glowing yellow blocks appeared; they formed a rectangle and with another fire from the staff the center was filled with a translucent light blue glow.

“Haven’t you ever heard of distractions? Now come.” He stepped towards the portal, but paused and turned around mere inches from entering.

“What?”

“Ah...we never told you my-our name, did we?” Mei shook her head and the young man held out a hand. “Derin. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Was now really the time for introductions? Mei thought annoyed, though she took the hand and shook it. Derin clapped loudly and grinned.

“Alright! Introductions are out of the way-let’s go home!” Derin turned and stepped through the portal, disappearing in a flash of light.

Mei looked back one last time at Zapolyarny Palace, which was currently on fire; then she stepped through the portal and disappeared.

#sagau #self aware genshin #I don't know about this mate...it's too risky #Dude the BIGGEST risk is not TAKING any risks #I suppose that makes enough sense #oh and by the way don'tcha think we could've described Mallory better?#meh hindsight's 20/20 now shut up and help me get to bed it's near midnight #and quit writing in the tags!#But it's QUIRKY and it's FUN #genshin impact self aware #genshin sagau

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danielxricciardo · 3 years

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Can you do one with Max, with 46 and 55 from angst list?

Summary: You are suffering from depression and Max tries to be by your side

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of suicide, depression

Word count: 3.6k+

46. “I’ll leave, and the world will move on. I just wish I could see it. See how much better everything is when I’m gone.”

55. “You’re good at finding things. Find me a reason to stay.”

Depression feels like a lot of things.

It feels like sadness, which is what everyone will tell you. It's a pretty common thread.

"I'm worthless."

"Everyone thinks I'm a horrible burden."

So on and so forth.

Everyone in the world is happy but you, and in the end, you are a worthless piece of shit that doesn't belong in this otherwise glorious and happy place. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and you are lying there on your bed in the same unlaundered pair of pajamas, wondering why you are even allowed to keep living any longer. Some meteor strikes or lightning bolts should be reserved for people like you because you are taking up space and oxygen and food and other resources that real, happy, productive people need.

It feels like emptiness. You have all these possibilities and none of them seem interesting. You could do some art, or play some music, but that just doesn't feel right. There's no joy in it. You could have sex with your significant other, but you can't muster up the desire. You could play video games, or read a book. But what's the point? There's no real benefit to all of it but passing the time. You could get up and make lunch. But no, you're not that hungry, and if you close your eyes, time will pass a little faster. You can lie there. That works. It doesn't require active effort to do something fruitless. Everything is as empty and fruitless as lying and staring out your window at the clouds and the shifting shadows of tree branches, and so why do anything else?

It feels like fatigue. Standing up out of your bed requires the same amount of bodily effort as climbing several flights of stairs. Managing to get dressed and walk outside is like running a race. Heaven helps you if you try to go to the store or a friend's house -- that may as well be on the other side of the continent. Every step is heavy. Every muscle motion requires ten times the work it used to. Exercise becomes difficult, and control over your body expires quickly. You become clumsier, so heavy lifting is right out. You daze out randomly, daydreaming, even dozing, so biking or running is hard. You feel most at home when you are entirely relaxed, so you lie down...and don't get up again until something like your bladder compels you.

It feels like a loss of control. You have no idea why your brain and body are doing this. You don't want to feel sad. Nobody wants to feel shitty and tired and empty all the time. People will look at you and say, "It's like you don't want to get better." Those people are idiots. You truly, deeply, from the bottom of your soul, have no idea why this has happened or what to do. It's not logical. It makes no sense. You woke up like this, or it crept in overtime or something like that. It's like a fog, a force of nature that sweeps in, occludes everything, and there's not one thing you can do about it from where you stand. Trying feels like taking a paper fan outside and trying to blow away the morning mist. Someone has tied puppet strings to your brain and is playing this hideous dance with it, and you don't have the scissors to cut them away. The dance doesn't make sense; it's arbitrary and rhythmless. If you had any sort of reasoning behind it, you could take control. But you don't.

It feels like desperation. You can't find a way out. You lie there at night, keening into your pillow like a wounded animal, making all sorts of noises that no human being should be able to make. You claw and scratch at the sheets, or at yourself, as the pain wrings itself out through bodily expression. The tears won't stop. You don't know why. All you know is that it hurts, it really and truly hurts, and you think if it goes on any longer, you're going to die. Right there. Bleed out on the floor. So you grab up your phone, and you call someone at 4 AM, and you beg them to please just make it stop. You bury yourself in books and movies because at least then you can imagine something else than yourself. You read nonstop. You have to have your fix. It's like an addiction, no, more like a life support machine. Otherworlds, fantasies of happiness, and real experiences that aren't your horrible existence become the iron lung keeping air flowing in and out. You are alive because you can stop thinking for a while. Your friends come over to comfort you. Their stories keep you sane and well, like dialysis for all the toxins in you. Your mind has failed at being independent, and now it relies on a thousand little machines to keep itself running. You rely on one machine until another comes to save you. You read books until your friends come by. You stretch out your time with friends until you have to bury yourself in a movie again just to keep the thought of real-life away.

It feels like untamed anger. Your friends can't keep this up forever. You fall further and further, and you eventually start dropping commitments. You have become That Person, the flake that everyone knows will back out. People start getting annoyed at you, annoyed at how they have to spend so much time just keeping you afloat, annoyed at how often you're causing them trouble by constantly disappearing and backing out of appointments, and so on. Your workplace gets annoyed at your lack of productivity. And then you can't take it anymore, and you want to scream at them, grab them by the throat and shake them because IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! You start having twisted fantasies, the ones where you walk up to that person who keeps telling you he can't do this anymore, you're just too unreliable, putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. Just to make him know, for once, that FUCK HIM, your problems are REAL, DAMMIT, REAL, and he better FUCKING RESPECT that. And when you're gone, he'll fall to his knees and cry, and he'll say, he wishes he had understood, that he didn't mean to be so unkind, and the scar on his heart from his own failure will remain fresh and knotted for eternity. And then you shake yourself out of the daydream, and you wonder why you have turned into such a horrible person, someone who even considers ending their own life just to spite another human being. Then it creeps back in, the knowledge that the world is getting fed up with you...and the cycle begins again. You start thriving off these daydreams, because at the very least if you can't be happy, you can throw caution to the wind and get the petty, oddly satisfying revenge buried under all those layers of morality that are becoming worn and flaking away. It's just a fantasy, right? And it helps pass the time...

It feels like forever. You have forgotten what it's like to truly be joyful. You can imagine it, but it's not really you in those thoughts. This is who you are. This is your life. This is you.

It feels like you have only one thing truly under your power: your existence. You cannot choose what life throws at you. Your brain and body have betrayed you. Your friends have worn away, and you've fled from your job and any commitments you have.

It feels empowering. You can jump whenever you want.

But he accepted you the way you are. He never reproached you for negatively influencing his mentality or life, even though you knew he felt it too. He always listened to you, he was with you even at 2 in the morning when you were crying on the bathroom floor with your knees to your chest, and you knew it wasn't right. It wasn't right for him to go through, basically, what you were going through. But no matter how much you told him you could do it without his help, Max was coming back more insistently than ever.

He came up with the idea to start therapy. "You have to find out why you feel this way. Go at least once, see how it is, if you don't like it or feel that it doesn't help you, you will give up, okay?" That was a year and a half ago.

The psychologist gave you a diagnosis from the first session: Major Depressive Disorder. Sure you knew what the three words meant, but you didn't know what it meant to have a label on your condition.

"A major depressive disorder is characterized by one or more of these depressive episodes. the diagnosis of major depressive disorder requires depressed mood or anhedonia which is the loss of interest in pleasure and five or more signs or symptoms for the SIGECAPS mnemonic for a 2-week period. (SIGECAPS) Sleep Disturbance, loss of Interest, feeling Guilty, feeling fatigued and low in Energy, having decreased Concentration, decreased or increased Appetite and been agitated and slow and having Suicidal ideation."

It sounds incredible to you. Suicidal thoughts? Not everyone has a thought, somewhere, behind their mind 'What if I disappeared?'

You were prescribed Prozac and Zoloft and it helped. You weren't always sad anymore, you could go to the races with Max and support him as a normal girlfriend does. You apologized to my friends who tried to help me and whose lives you made impossible and you managed to get back to work, from home anyway. Sure, you still had moments when you felt like you weren't 100% yourself but not like before. You did therapy twice a week and the psychologist was happy with your evolution.

But being the stupid ass that you are, you stopped taking the medication. You took the last pill on Friday. Because you were fine. You felt ok, everyone around you told you you were better, you were doing amazing, so you were cured, right? Or so you thought. Saturday was normal. Sunday was not. Your mood and energy were very low. You woke up at like 2 in the afternoon. That is not unusual for you. You’re used to it. You were sad. You were exhausted. You knew that feeling like this was “no excuse” so you tried to force yourself to do it anyway. Typical of your life. You feel like you had already taken so much off work because of the triple-header, you were for three weeks attached to the hips with Max.

The only thing you thought of was dying. And that terrified you. And Max senses something was wrong. But he didn't want to tell something and ending up being wrong and you being upset by his misinterpretation. But, yes, he sensed that you were becoming your old self.

"Hey, babe," he snapped you out of your daydreaming. A tragic one, where you were finally at peace and Max was crying for you. You were on the verge of crying yourself at the mere image of Max in your head. But you pushed it far from your mind, somewhere in a dark corner for you to find it at an appropriate time to fantasize about your dying. "How about we go to a picnic? It's sunny outside."

Yes, the wheater was amazing. It was finally summer and you could go outside and spend some time with Max. But your brain literally is tricking you into thinking you don't deserve to enjoy the sunny day. Why? You don't have an answer.

"I'm not really in the mood, Max. Sorry."

You are not in the mood. That was his affirmation. You are not ok.

"You feeling good?"

"Yeah. Just tired I guess."

"But you just woke up."

You shrugged. He was right. You just woke up, so why do you feel like you were carrying a ton of bricks on your shoulders? You couldn't walk. You almost felt like 18 months ago. And that is when it hit you. And Max, at the same time.

"Still taking your meds, I hope."

Silence. Your mind was like overcrowded and you couldn’t take it anymore. You grabbed your head and pulled your hair because you wanted it to stop. You were thinking that you didn’t know what to think. You didn’t know how to think. You didn’t know how you felt. You were like anxious-depressed-angry-miserable-irritable all in one. Your head was spinning with thoughts. Thoughts were talking over thoughts. So fast that you couldn’t even make out one complete sentence. It was just too much for you to handle. You just wanted someone to kill you.

Max came to you and he hugged you so hard you thought he could crush your bones right there and then. You calmed down eventually. But now you were embarrassed. Because Max saw you, again, at your lowest. Because you promised you'll get better, and for a while, you were better, but now you are fucked and back into square one. All those money on therapy and your pills, for what? For you to stop taking them because you thought you were feeling better? Well, you definitely were not ok, nor you'll be. So, yeah, being fucked sounded good.

Max brought you the medicine and a glass of water. Taking the pills again? For what? The pills only fuel the feeling that everything is fine and that you are a normal person. Nothing was good and you were not a normal person.

But you took the pills. And you looked Max in the eyes and you wanted to die. He seemed crushed. He was sad, devastated, maybe angry but definitely disappointed. In you. Because maybe you don't realize this, but while you were doing good, he was doing great. He knew you could be on your own so he stopped worrying that much, and that could also be seen in his driving. He was winning more races, he was at his best and now he was at his lowest. Because you were at your lowest; co-dependency and shit.

"I'm sorry, baby. I thought I was doing well enough to stop taking the meds," you say in a broken voice but the tears are yet to appear. He stroked your hair and kissed you on your forehead.

"You should have told me. You don't have to go thru this alone. I am here."

"Yeah, you are here. But you don't have to be!" you snapped. Irritability, one thing your depression came with. "I am just a burden for you. And no, this does not come from the fact I stopped taking my pills. You took care of me like I was a child, and, fuck it, you don't deserve this."

"Stop talking like this, alright? If I would suffer from depression you would have done the same thing. You would have taken care of me. Or am I wrong?"

"You are not wrong. To be honest, I don't think I would be here if it wasn't for you, but I don't want you to be. It's obvious that I would never get better. This is me. I am fucked in the head, half wishing I was dead and I am just bringing you down."

"Don't tell me this is a fucking break up, Y/N." he narrows his brows and looks at your features to make sure you were being serious.

“I’ll leave, and the world will move on. I just wish I could see it. See how much better everything is when I’m gone.”

"What the fuck are you talking about? Is this a break-up or a suicidal vocal note?"

You broke down. Crying can be cathartic and healthy, but if it goes on too long it can lock your body in a feeling of despair. Even if your mind works through the problem that caused the crying, because your body is still feeling the physical effects it will cause your mind to revert to the negative state. It's not sadness. It's dread and paralysis. You had a certain feeling of emptiness and purposelessness.

“You’re good at finding things. Find me a reason to stay,” you say between sobs.

"You want me to find you a reason to stay alive or to stay in this relationship? To be frank, I can name a thousand reasons, but it all depends on you."

Max hugs you from behind and you lay your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was stronger than ever. You allowed yourself to inhale Max's scent, a soothing scent you could get drunk on.

"I want to believe you love me. I mean, I love you and I consider you the love of my life, you know? We are so young and I know it doesn't feel like it, but I promise you, I'm gonna marry you someday, even if right now you don't think you're gonna make it till tomorrow. So, yeah, this is reason number one," he said and pressed a kiss to your cheek. "This is not the worst you have been through in life. Remember where you were 18 months ago; you had no idea what was wrong with you. Now you know and you know you can be better. I know you get sick of those pills, but maybe, in the future, you won't need them. Isn't that exciting? This was reason number two," he said and pressed another kiss to your cheek. He was going to do that every time he would give you a reason. "Have you been to all the beautiful places around the world? Sure, you came to a few Grand Prix, but you never saw Great Ocean Road in Australia, you know Daniel promised he would take us there someday. You never saw Pamukkale in Turkey or Japan in Cherry Blossom season or the Blue Lagoon in Iceland. There are many places you need to visit, baby. So, yeah, this was reason number three. I don't know if you want me to continue but I can give you one more reason. Reason number four. Do it for you, baby. You deserve to live and be happy. I know you can be happy and I promise you I will do my best to help you. You just have to take it one step at a time. You just have to let me in. Let me help you, baby."

You turn around, facing him now. You loved him, with all of your heart. You love him for who he is. You love him because he literally came into your life as your lifeline. You love him because he helped you crawl up the deep bottomless abyss of depression. You love him because he had the patience and the audacity to bear with your depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, your phobias, your mood swings, your temperamental and short-tempered nature, your overthinking, your being overprotectiveness, and possessiveness. You love him because never once he thought of giving up on you in your hard times. You love him because he stands by you like a rock of unwavering support and he’s someone you can fall back on. You love him because he listens to you talking non-stop about your past, your pains, your fears, and your losses without complaining even once. You love him because he rediscovered you and helped you find yourself again when you were lost in darkness. You love him because he filled you with confidence and hope and strength and belief and determination. You love him because he believes you are the best when you set your mind on something and no one can stop you from achieving your goals. You love him because he is protective, caring, understanding, loving, and easy to be with while never being too suffocating or taking up your space. You love him because sooner or later he does everything you ask of him and does with his whole attention. You love him because whatever endeavor he engages in, he likes to give his 100% and hates doing half-hearted things. You love him because he can decode the nuances in your voice and judge your mood just perfectly. You love him because he read you like an open book and he can hear your silence. You love him because he never doubts your loyalty, your intentions, your hard work, and your million issues. You love him because no matter how busy he might get he never forgets that you are waiting for his message or his call. You love him because he keeps you in his priorities. You love him because he gave you a passion you never knew you had. You love him because he very strongly believes that you deserve the best of everything. You love him because he is empathic, kind, magnanimous, thoughtful, and down to Earth. You love him because he has eyes for no one but you. You love him because he wants to see you healthy, wealthy, prosperous, famous and he wants you to hold back at nothing, for no one, he wants you to be a Go-Getter. And most importantly you love him because no one ever loved you like he did.

"I will let you in," you say and you kiss him hard. "I'm sorry for the scene I caused."

"Don't be. It happens."

#max verstappen imagine #max verstappen oneshot #max verstappen #f1 fanfiction #f1 oneshot #f1 one shot #f1 2021 #f1 #f1 fandom #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula one oneshot #formula one imagine #formula 1 oneshot #formula one #formula 1 #red bull racing

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jypbae7 · 3 years

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Im Changkyun - Natal Chart

- requested by @jookyunz

Can’t remember if you wanted the 18+ section so I included it at the bottom and marked it incase you wanna skip it ❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars

Aquarius Sun comes with lots of intrigue and lots of complexity - like the other air signs Aquarius is very adaptable and tends to prefer an “exciting life” (though earth signs tend to see this lifestyle as pure chaos lmao)

Aquarians tend to be intrigued by mystical things due to their very logical view of the world, this logical side can often lend to them coming off as cold or aloof but it’s less about that and more about their need to rule with the head and not the heart in order to avoid being thrown off the balance that they like (Aqua is a fixed sign) also they do NOT want to be hurt by people so the guard they have up towards the world is basically an iron curtain till they develop enough trust with you

Aries Moon is equally as spontaneous and adaptable but for a different motivation - Aries is bold and wants the most out of life and you can bet your bottom dollars they’ll do WHATEVER necessary to gain the lifestyle and goals they set for themselves.

But since they are naturally social butterflies and genuinely just want to have fun and encourage the people they love to reach for their dreams and have fun doing it, they tend to succeed rather easily since people are drawn to them. - All about confidence, bold styles, working hard because they NEED to be the best at whatever they do, but they definitely play hard too (as does every fire sign lmao)

As much as Aries and Aquarius like change and excitement - Capricorn Mercury does NOT. This adds a LOT of grounding and “tradition” to quick moving Aries and unconventional Asquarius.

Capricorn Mercurys are known to speak slow, quite monotonous and precise which I definitely have always felt about Changkyun. You’re not getting too much fluff or extra words from them because Capricorn finds it a waste of energy. They say what they mean when they mean it and not much else more. But this means they are good listeners and are very comfortable and unreliant on “attention” or “being in the spotlight” giving them added levels of independence. I also feel that this is why they are sooooo unbothered by other people’s opinions and friendship.

Aquarians straight up rather be alone than around fake people. They don’t care if they “fit in” with general norms because they don’t want to be like anyone else anyway lmao and they are interesting enough to keep themselves entertained. While Capricorn and Aries have places to go, people to see, and goals to crush so why the hell be worried about others???

Mixed with the other 2 placements it’s likely that his home is a serious sanctuary for him that he takes seriously. When he’s out in the world doing his busy schedules and chaotic traveling and work he’s happy and really feeding into the air and fire energy. But when he gets home it’s his Capricorn Mercury that is being nurtured and stimulated. He’s going to wanna hibernate there for a while without leaving especially if he’s been gone a long time. Could be either unbelievably messy or unbelievably neat but likely no inbetween with these placements lmao.

Aquarius Mars.... reminder that Aquarius is a fixed sign so this in Mars could mean one HELL of a temper or at least rage once he’s set off. But thankfully the Airy nature of Aqua means you’d really have to mess with him to get that kind of reaction because they generally really dislike being upset. They prefer staying content and neutral rather than having extreme feelings of any kind or it makes them veryyyyy edgy. If you can disagree with respect and if you provide logic instead of ego as your argument you’re likely to get a much better reaction from Aquarius

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars

Boy oh boyyyyyy he takes a LONG time to open up to people - 2 Aquarius placements and a Capricorn placement screamssssss trust issues and vulnerability issues

Capricorn doesn’t wanna sulk and talk about their problems so IF they trust you enough to come to you with an issue they want solutions and practical help and support

Is really cheered up by acts of service and quality time - watching a great movie even in complete silence just near each other on the couch in sweats tucked under cozy blankets or getting surprised with their favorite dinner can boost their mood instantly

Aries Moon as I said before is a natural in social situations and tends to draw attention even when they aren’t trying so he’s bound to come off a lot more open and friendly than he actually is. The deep stuff won’t come out till he REALLY knows and trusts you and even then… in SMALL increments

That said he’s a super fun friend to have - down for adventures, actually thinks about and puts effort into doing cool stuff with friends and loved ones

When it comes to friendships he shows care through quality time and acts of service

When he buys gifts for people he cares about they are BOMB - cool as fuck and either one or a combination of the following: one of a kind, meaningful as fuck, and/ or super expensive - most likely fashion, jewelry, something music related, or super cool stuff from his travels

Romantic relationships and preferences : Pisces Venus, Aquarius Mars, Aquarius Juno, Aries Eros

Lmao even MORE Aquarius and Aries energy

Ok into the main meat - these four placements are particularly interesting combo: 2 fixed air (Aqua), 1 mutable water (Pisces) and 1 Cardinal Fire (Aries)

Aqua Juno - generally hints at a pretty unconventional relationship and this can come in manyyyyy forms for the very unique and varied Aquarians (partnership without legal marriage, mixed race/culture couple, could even mean choosing a bachelor lifestyle over any normal type of relationship, etc.) - given that Changkyun seems quite close with his parents and his interest in kids I’d say he’s unlikely to choose the bachelor route.

For a lot of Aquarians unconventional can also come in the form of a very stimulating partner, they enjoy learning and expanding their minds and experiences which is why they tend to run towards challenges that others would run from. I think someone who shares similar passions but varied skills and/or background would fulfil that for him. Aquarius, Pisces and Aries like to be stimulated A LOT.

Pisces in Venus is a tricky placement - can be pretty hot and cold, lots of mixed signals, you should be ready to be stood up or flaked on atleast once in the beginning🙄) BUT if you actually manage to earn their trust and dedication they make very caring partners.

Pisces in Venus is art gallery and museum dates, binge watching documentaries especially murder mystery, and spending most of the summer near the closest body of water.

Aries Eros fantasizes about being in a partnership that others look at as a power couple but they’ll never admit it - they dream of a partner who is in awe of them and their accomplishments but has their own big goals and successes to cater to as well. They like people they can grow with as individuals and as a couple. Push and pull works really well with Aries (and the other two fire signs too honestly) they like the cat and mouse thing and they like to have time to miss & yearn for their partner especially the men - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Love languages in order from most to least: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving

Aries is a strong sign and they want and need a real partner who respects and supports their independence and boss energy but also can nurture their softer more vulnerable side and be the strong one for them when they need it

***** 18+ Preferences ****

Ooof this should honestly come as a surprise to NO ONE but damn placements do NOT lie...Im Changkyun is one freaky ass boy

I mean ARIES EROS???? Let me spell that out for y’all: fucks you like he absolutely fucking hates you or ties you up like a present and edges you for hours till you’re crying

LOVES, let me repeat LOVES jealousy sex - whether it’s you being jealous of all the screaming thirsting fans he has or him being jealous of guys getting too close too you for his comfort - he is allllllllll about taking that energy directly into the bedroom ASAP (or a bathroom or even closet if it locks 🤐)

Could and WOULD makeout for hours on end - especially if he’s been drinking

The more you switch it up the more excited he is - with all them Aquarius placements it should be pretttyyyyyy often

Different positions, lingerie, role play - any and all of it excite him

With a partner he actually trusts and has feelings for I can see him being extremely open minded to trying things (though obviously EVERYONE has limits and boundaries)

Toys, blindfolds, handcuffs, whip cream, hot wax, spanking - all a STRONG yes

Get the strong feeling he has strong preference to use his mouth often - lots of kissing (passionate, needy, messy - sometimes more aggressive) , likes to give and receive hickeys, wants to kiss all over his partner’s body and LOVES oral both receiving and giving (and I get the feeling he’s TOO good at that 👀)

More willing to let his partner take control than you might think - he’s not a switch but he just doesn’t think you initiating or “being in control” makes him any less dominant. In fact it’s probably the opposite; you showing your desire to that point actually makes him feel MORE dominant and masculine

Literally could find anyone and everyone beautiful - is more attracted to people’s minds, spirit and energy than physical looks (BIG Pisces and Aquarian thing)

Gets turned on every single time he sees you in the crowd at one of his shows - makes him feel like you are the only two people in the world (drives his Aries Eros INSANE - gets a kick out of the slight power play of being on stage in front of so many people, as well as the secrecy and raw passionate energy of it all)

Tattoos, piercings, colorful wigs, or even just interesting jewelry paired with the right lingerie or outfit will have him 🤯- think short black see-through lace robe with nothing on underneath except a sparkling body chain dripping from your body....yep he’ll eat you like a main dish in .00000000023 seconds

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

#monsta x #changkyun #im changkyun #i.m.#i.m monsta x #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #changkyun scenarios #changkyun imagines #changkyun astrology #natal chart #monsta x astrology #monsta x zodiac

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baggebythesea · 3 years

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In a peacetime modern AU of SPOP where the characters are fans of a show similar to our SPOP, how would they engage in fandom? For example: Who would ship whom? Who would write fic or draw art? Who would write or draw smut?? Who would have a wall of theories with evidence connected by a web of threads? Who would do their own thing shipping a rare pair and who would be a card carrying popular ship shipper? Who would strongly empathise with their parallel character and who would just not get them at all? Would anyone cosplay? Which older adult would shock the young'uns by saying 'Well I wouldn't say no...' as they sip their tea from the doorway? (Obviously answer as much or as little as you like!)

Ooooh! Great ask.

Glimmer declares the show the best thing ever (because it's pink and princessy and kicks ass), and the best friend squad watches it religiously. Adora doesn't really get what the big deal with shipping is supposed to be, but she think it's neat that Netossa and Spinnerella is a couple. Lowkey ships Glimmer with Bow because she likes the idea of childhood friends falling in love with each other. Also, she really likes it when the title character gets a horse. Hangs out a lot in fandom space but doesn't really produce content, at least until Bow and Glimmer manages to talk her into writing down some of her many, many theories of how the show will turn out and just what the logistics network through the whispering woods are supposed to look like. She secretly worries when one of her posts don't get as much attention as the last one.

Bow is just hung up on poor Catra and want for her to get some love. Mostly he cheers on Scorpia, but he would ship Catra with Adora or even Double Trouble in desperation for someone to take the cat away from the hole she spend most of the series in. He takes up sewing and makes a point of cosplaying every single princess. Comments on everyone's fanfic and likes everyone's posts.

Glimmer sees a bit of herself in Catra (because she too knows the pain of having a mother who doesn't understand her). She totally ships the cat-girl with the glitter princess and writes really messed up fanfics about them. So much passion. So much delicious, delicious self-destruction. Practically drools at the end of season 4 and all the angst that goes down there. She regularly asks Bow to beta read and traumatises him badly. Gets into fan-fights on social media about stupid shit. Cosplays Catra on a con and makes out with a Glimmer cosplayer.

Angella vaguely recalls the first show from when she was young and earns some much needed mom-points with Glimmer when she digs up a mint condition original She-Ra+Swift Wind toy from a carefully labelled box in the basement. She ships Glimmer with Bow because she really likes that boy. Micah used to watch the show as a kid and had a bit of a crush on the original She-Ra. Ships Bow with Sea Hawk and cheerfully fills the hashtag #SeaBow with memes at least a decade out of fashion. Mortifies his daughter when he take them to a con and insists on cosplaying as Hordak. Ends up in the bar together with George and Lance and sings karaoke to My Little Pony-songs.

George and Lance don't really get the show but are happy to take the kids to con. Cosplays as characters from old Belgian comics.

Catra thinks the show is silly (and watches every episode passionately. Shut up. Just humouring Scorpia, is all). She thinks the Catra character in the show is a wimp, but ships her with Double Trouble because she likes it when villains get their way. Draws really good fanart. A bit of a troll on social media because its so fun to rile up people like Glimmer.

Scorpia ships Catra and Adora and cries just as much as Bow in the First One's Temple part of season 1. She is completely floored by the large, femme and kinda clumsy Scorpia character hooking up with the beautiful, beautiful Perfuma because... um... Writes really bad but 100% heartfelt self insert fanfics. Draws stick figures of Perfuma and Scorpia holding hands. Reads and re-reads her favourite fanfics until her eyes are red from crying and in the end leaves a shy little "it was good"-comment for the last chapter. Tries to work up the courage to go to a con and talk to other fans. Wants to cosplay but has too bad self esteem.

Entrapta thinks the robots are unscientific for reasons she is happy to write hundreds of blog posts about. Ships Darla with the Velvet Glove (the word 'docking' is used extensively). Considers Hordak a total hottie and draws really - and I mean really - explicit fan art. Spends her first convention on the parking lot trying to fix her Emily cosplay.

Lonnie rage-quits watching the show the moment Adora leaves the Horde but thinks Adora and Mermista should just do it already.

Kyle ships Bow with an OC named Lyle who everyone likes and no one makes fun of. Has written a ten chapter fanfic which no one has commented.

Rogelio ships Tung Lashor with Sea Hawk. His fanart can melt through steel.

Sea Hawk ships EVERYONE with Merm-iiiiiiiiiista. Runs ten different fan-events simultaneously. Mermista just ships Adora with Lonnie or whatever. They do duo-cosplay on cons, much to Mermista's embarrassment.

Perfuma ships Entrapta with Hordak, writes post after post exploring their psychosocial dynamic and is downright gleeful when it becomes canon. Spends the cons friend-momming on the rest of the group and makes sure they are all hydrated.

Frosta thinks shipping is stupid and want to see more of princesses teaming up and beating the shit out of the bad guys with the power of friendship. Also has a really detailed backstory for her OC. Only ask if you have plenty of time. Has a pretty good Glimmer cosplay.

Huntara ships Juliette with Castaspella and writes surprisingly sweet fics about them crushing on each other. Keeps order on social media.

Castaspella ships Shadow Weaver with Angella and writes fanfic that could easily be published as high class erotica. She's a really good commentor on other people's fics, giving tons of support and little constructive hints where she feels it might be well received.

Juliette has better things to do than watching a children's cartoon, but she does enjoy some of Castaspella's stories.

Spinnerella ships Catra and Adora and is just so proud when it turns out to be canon. Tells everyone who wants to listen how little representation was available in her first fandom and how far things have come.

Netossa ships Adora and Mermista and draws really hot fanart of them making out in gym showers and the like. Prefers modern aus and couldn't care less about canon as long as it gives her hot characters to play with.

Shadow Weaver doesn't ship anyone because no one is worthy of the love of Adora who is the only worthwhile character. Writes a 40+ chapter story about a badly out-of-character Adora who takes over the Horde and laughs at her enemies from the throne. Is enraged when people dare having the wrong opinion about things but can't tell them so because she feels social media is beneath her. Secretly reads Castaspella's fanfic.

Horde Prime ships Horde Prime with Shadow Weaver. She is written completely out of character in a rather insulting and sexist way. Completely insufferable on social media and insist on everyone signing up to his headcanon.

Hordak says he doesn't ship anyone because romance is silly. Cries over Adora's redemption arc when he thinks no one watches and ships her with Glimmer because he just wants to the poor, rejected Horde soldier lost in a strange land she doesn't understand to get some love and kindness.

Wrong Hordak ships Scorpia with Perfuma because love finds a way. Draws the purest fluff you'll ever see.

Double Trouble trolls social media at every turn and gleefully ships the most messed up shit they can think of. Shadow Weaver and Perfuma, Catra and Sea Hawk, Angella and Hordak, Horde Prime and Swift Wind... Also ships the characters they deem to have most dramatic potential to derail the story such as Entrapta and Hordak, Glimmer and Catra, Glimmer and Double Trouble... kinda has a low key crush on the sparkly character but denies it if anyone asks. Really good at cosplay and runs a tutorial at the cons.

Swift Wind thinks there are too few horse characters. Ships Swift Wind with Rainbow Dash.

Light Hope only ships canon pairings because by definition canon is the only thing that is valid. Writes long, convoluted predictions that she updates after every episode. She gets an existential crisis when her predictions don't pan out in canon.

Mara ships Adora and Glimmer. Still gets hot and fussy every time she thinks of the s1 hot spring scene. Wants the hardworking perfectionist to get love.

Razz write novel length stories where she ship a character mentioned in passing in an unpublished Dickens novel with her old middle school math teacher. No one has any idea what she is going on about or why she posts it in the she-ra tag, but her stories are good and she's a complete delight at cons, so she's welcome in the fandom.

#spop #asks

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justmenoworries · 3 years

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Not Up For Interpretation - An Essay On Nonbinary - Erasure

(Trigger Warning: Misgendering, Transphobia, Nonbinary-phobia)

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know this was a long time coming. I’ve made several posts about my frustrations concerning this topic and how much it hurt me just how socially accepted erasing an entire identity still is. While representation marches on and things have become better for nonbinary people as a whole, we still battle with a lot of prejudice - both intentional and unintentional.

In this essay, I want to discuss just how our identities are being erased almost daily, why that is harmful and hurtful and what we all can do to change that.

Chapters:

What does Non-binary mean?

Nonbinary- representation in media

So what’s the problem?

How do we fix it?

1. What Does Non-binary Mean?

Non-binary is actually an umbrella term. It includes pretty much every gender-identity that’s neither one or the other so to speak, for example, agender.

Agender means feeling detachment from the gender spectrum in general. If you’re agender, you most likely feel a distance to the concept of gender as a whole, that it doesn’t define you as a person.

There are many identities that classify under non-binary: There’s gender-fluid (you feel you have a gender, but it’s not one gender specifically and can change), demi-gender (identifying as a gender partially, but not completely) and many others.

Sometimes, multiple non-binary identities can mix and match.

Most non-binary people use they/them pronouns, but like with so many things, it varies.

Some nonbinary-people (like me) go by two pairs of pronouns. I go by both she/her and they/them, because it’s what feels most comfortable at the moment. But who knows, maybe in the future I’ll switch to they/them exclusively or expand to he/him.

There is no one defining non-binary experience. Nb-people are just as varied and different as binary people, who go by one specific gender.

There are non-binary people who choose to go solely by she/her or he/him and that’s okay too. It doesn’t make them any more or less non-binary and their identity is still valid.

If your head’s buzzing a bit by now: That’s okay. It’s a complicated topic and no one expects you to understand all of it in one chapter of one essay.

Just know this: If a person identifies as non-binary, you should respect their decision and use the pronouns they go with.

It’s extremely hurtful to refer to someone who already told you that they use they/them pronouns with she/her or he/him, or use they/them to refer to a person who uses she/her.

Think about it like using a trans-person’s deadname: It’s rude, it’s harmful and it shows complete disrespect for the person.

Non-binary people have existed for a very long time. The concept isn’t new. The idea that there are only two genders, with every other identity being an aberration to the norm, is largely a western idea, spread through colonialism.

The Native American people use “Two-Spirit” to describe someone who identifies neither as a man nor a woman. The term itself is relatively new, but the concept of a third gender is deeply rooted in many Native American cultures.

(Author’s Note: If you are not Native American, please do not use it. That’s cultural appropriation.)

In India, the existence of a third gender has always been acknowledged and there are many terms specifically for people who don’t identify with the gender that was assigned to them at birth.

If you’re interested in learning more about non-binary history and non-binary identities around the world, I’d recommend visiting these websites:

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/History_of_nonbinary_gender

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldwide

https://thetempest.co/2020/02/01/history/the-history-of-nonbinary-genders-is-longer-than-you-think/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/gender-variance-around-the-world

Also, maybe consider giving this book a try:

Nonbinary Gender Identities: History, Culture, Resources by Charlie Mcnabb

2. Non-binary Representation In Media

The representation of non-binary people in mainstream media hasn’t been... great, to put it mildly.

Representation, as we all know, is important.

Not only does it give minorities a chance to see themselves in media and feel heard and acknowledged. It also normalizes them.

For example, seeing a black Disney-princess was a huge deal for many black little girls, because they could finally say there was someone there who looked like them. They could see that being white wasn’t a necessity to be a Disney princess.

Seeing a canonically LGBT+ character in a children’s show teaches kids that love is love, no matter what gender you’re attracted to. At the same time, older LGBT+ viewers will see themselves validated and heard in a movie that features on-screen LGBT+ heroes.

There’s been some huge steps in the right direction in the last few years representation-wise.

Not only do we have more LGBT+ protagonists and characters in general, we’ve also begun to question and call out harmful or bigoted portrayals of the community in media, such as “Bury Your Gays” or the “Depraved Homosexual”.

With that being said: Let’s take a look at how Non-binary representation holds up in comparison, shall we?

This is Double Trouble, from the children’s show “She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power”.

They identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. They’re also a slimy, duplicitous lizard-person who can change their shape at will.

Um, yeah.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Did I mention they’re also the only non-binary character in the entire show? And that they’re working with a genocidal dictator in most of the episodes they’re in?

Yikes.

Let’s look at another example.

These three (in order of appearance) are Stevonnie, Smoky Quartz and Shep. Three characters appearing in the kid’s show “Steven Universe” and it’s epilogue series “Steven Universe: Future”.

All of them identify as non-binary and use they/them as pronouns.

Stevonnie and Smoky Quartz are the result of a boy and a girl being fused together through weird alien magic.

Shep is a regular human, but they only appeared in one episode. In an epilogue series that only hardcore fans actually watched.

Well, I mean...

One out of three isn’t that bad, right?

Maybe we should pick an example from a series for older viewers.

Say hello to Doppelganger, a non-binary superhuman who goes by they/them, from the Amazon-series “The Boys”.

They’re working for a corrupt superhero-agency and use their power of shape-shifting to trick people who pose a threat to said agency into having sex with them. And then blackmail those people with footage of said sex.

....

Do I even need to say it?

If you’ve paid attention during the listing of these examples, you might have noticed a theme.

Namely that characters canonically identifying as non-binary are either

supernatural in some way, shape or form,

barely have a presence in the piece of media they’re in,

both.

Blink-and-you-miss-it-manner of representation aside, the majority of these characters fall squarely under what we call “Othering”.

“Othering” describes the practice of portraying minorities as supernatural creatures or otherwise inhuman. Or to say it bluntly: As “The Other”.

“Othering” is a pretty heinous method. Not only does it portray minorities as inherently abnormal and “different in a bad way”. It also goes directly against what representation is actually for: Normalizing.

As a general rule of thumb: If your piece of media has humans in it, but the only representation of non-white, non-straight people are explicitly inhuman... yeah, that’s bad.

So is there absolutely no positive representation for us out there?

Not quite.

As rare as human non-binary characters in media are to find, they do exist.

Here we have Bloodhound! A non-binary human hunter who uses they/them pronouns, from the game “Apex Legends”.

It’s been confirmed by the devs and the voice actress that they’re non-binary.

Nice!

These are Frisk (bottom) and Chara (top) from the game “Undertale”. While their exact gender identity hasn’t been disclosed, they both canonically use they/them pronouns, so it’s somewhere on the non-binary spectrum.

Two human children who act as the protagonist (Frisk) and antagonist (Chara), depending on how you play the game. (Interpretations vary on the antagonist/protagonist-thing, to say the least.)

Cool!

......

And, yep, that’s it.

As my little demonstration here showed, non-binary representation in media is rare. Good non-binary representation is even rarer.

Which is why those small examples of genuinely good representation are so important to the Non-binary community!

It’s hard enough to have to prove you exist. It’s even harder to prove your existence is not abnormal or unnatural.

If you’d like to further educate yourself on representation, it’s impact on society and why it matters, perhaps take a second to read through these articles:

https://www.criticalhit.net/opinion/representation-media-matters/

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/arts/why-on-screen-representation-matters-according-to-these-teens

https://jperkel.github.io/sciwridiversity2020/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2019/05/22/why-is-equal-representation-in-media-important/?sh=25f2ccc92a84

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-representation-the-media-matters

3. So What’s The Problem?

The problem, as is the case with so many things in the world, is prejudice.

Actually, that’s not true.

There’s not a problem, there are multiple problems. And their names are prejudice, ignorance and bigotry.

Remember how I said human non-binary representation is rare?

Yeah, very often media-fans don’t help.

Let’s take for example, the aforementioned Frisk and Chara from “Undertale”.

Despite the game explicitly using they/them to refer to both characters multiple times, the majority of players somehow got it into their heads that Frisk’s and Chara’s gender was “up for interpretation”.

There is a huge amount of fan art straight-up misgendering both characters and portraying them as binary and using only he/him or she/her pronouns.

The most egregious examples are two massively popular fan-animated web shows: “Glitchtale”, by Camila Cuevas and “Underverse” by Jael Peñaloza.

Both series are very beloved by the Undertale-fanbase and even outside of it. Meaning for many people, those two shows might be their first introduction to “Undertale” and it’s two non-binary human characters.

Take a wild guess what both Camila and Jael did with Frisk and Chara.

Underverse, X-Tale IV:

(Transcript: “Frisk lied to me in the worst possible way... I... I will never forgive him.”)

Underverse, X-Tale V:

(Transcript: “I-It’s Chara... and it’s a BOY.”)

Glitchtale, My Promise:

(Transcript: (Referring to Frisk) “I’m not scared of an angry boy anymore.”)

Glitchtale, Game Over Part 1:

(Transcript: (Referring to Chara) “It’s ok little boy.”)

This... this isn’t okay.

Not only do both of these pieces of fan-art misgender two non-binary characters, the creators knew beforehand that Frisk and Chara use they/them-pronouns, but made the conscious choice to ignore that.

To be fair, in a video discussing “Underverse”, Jael said that only X-Tale Frisk and Chara, the characters you see in the Underverse-examples above, are male, while the characters Frisk and Chara from the main game remained non-binary and used they/them (time-stamp 10:34).

Still, that doesn’t erase the fact that Jael made up alternate versions of two non-binary characters specifically to turn them male. Or that, while addressing the issue, Jael was incredibly dismissive and even mocked the people who felt hurt by her turning two non-binary characters male. Jael also went on to make a fairly non-binary-phobic joke in the video, in which she equated gender identities beyond male and female to identifying as an object.

Jael (translated): “I don’t care if people say the original Frisk and Chara are male, female, helicopters, chairs, dogs or cats, buildings, clouds...”

That’s actually a very common joke among transphobes, if not to say the transphobe-joke:

“Oh, you identify as X? Well then I identify as an attack helicopter!”

If you’re trans, chances are you’ve heard this one, or a variation of it, a million times before.

I certainly have.

I didn’t laugh then and I’m not laughing now.

(Author’s note: I might be angry at both of them for what they did, but I do not, under any circumstances, support the harassment of creators. If you’re thinking about sending either Jael or Camila hate-mail - don’t. It won’t help.)

Jael’s reaction is sadly common in the Undertale fandom. Anyone speaking up against Chara’s and Frisk’s identity being erased is immediately bludgeoned with the “up for interpretation”-argument, despite that not once being the case in the game.

And even with people who do it right and portray Frisk and Chara as they/them, you’ll have dozens of commenters swarming the work with sentences among the lines of “Oh but I think Frisk is a boy/girl! And Chara is a girl/boy!”

By the way, this kind of thing only happens to Frisk and Chara.

Every other character in “Undertale” is referred to and portrayed with their proper pronouns of she/her or he/him.

But not the characters who go by they/them.

Their gender is “up for interpretation”.

Because obviously, their identity couldn’t possibly be canonically non-binary.

Sadly, Frisk and Chara are not alone in this.

Remember Bloodhound?

And how I said they’d been confirmed as non-binary and using they/them pronouns by both the creators and the voice actress?

It seems for many players, that too translated to “up for interpretation”.

(Transcript: “does it matter what they call him? He, her, it, they toaster oven, it doesn’t matter”)

(Transcript: “I’m like 90 % sure Bloodhound is a dude because he could just sound like a girl and by their age that I’m assuming looks around 10-12 because I’ve known many males who have sounded like a female when they were younger”)

(Transcript: “I don’t care it will always be a He. F*ck that non-binary bullsh*t.”)

(Transcript: “Bloodhound is clearly female.”)

(Transcript: “I’m not calling a video game character they/them”)

(Transcript: “exactly. The face was never fully shown neither was the gender so I’d say it means that the player is Bloodhound. So it’s your gender and you refer to “him” as yourself. It’s like a self insertion in my eyes.”)

So, let me get this straight:

If a character, even a player character, uses she/her or he/him, you can accept it, no questions asked.

But when a character uses they/them, suddenly their identity and gender are “up for interpretation”?

This attitude is also widely prevalent in real life.

Many languages only include pronouns for men and women, with no third option available. Non-binary people are often forced to make up their own terms, because their language doesn’t provide one.

Non-binary people often don’t fit within other people’s ideas of gender, so they get excluded altogether. Worse, non-binary people are often the victims of misgendering, denial of their identity or even straight-up violence when coming out.

People will often tell us that we look like a certain gender, so we should only use one set of gendered pronouns. Never mind that that’s not what we want. Never mind that that’s not who we are.

Non-binary people are also largely omitted from legal documentation and studies. We cannot identify as non-binary at our workplace, because using they/them pronouns is considered “unprofessional”. We don’t have our own bathrooms like men and women do. Our gender is seen as less valid than male and female, so even that basic thing is denied to us. I’ve had to use the women’s restroom my entire life, because if I go into a male restroom, I’ll be yelled at or made fun off or simply get told I took the wrong door. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me and I wish I didn’t have to do it.

And since non-binary people aren’t seen as “real transgender-people”, we often don’t receive the medical care we need. This often renders us unable to feel good within our bodies, because the treatment and help we get is wildly inadequate.

It’s especially horrible for intersex people (people who are born with sex characteristics that don’t fit solely into the male/female category) who are often forced to change their bodies to fit within the male/female gender binary.

And you better believe each of those problems is increased ten-fold for non-binary people of color.

We are ignored and dismissed as “confused”, because of who we are.

Representation is a way for Non-binary people to show the world they exist, that they’re here and that they too have stories to tell.

But how can we, when every character that represents us is either othered, barely there or gets taken away from us?

We are not “up for interpretation”.

Neither are the characters in media who share our identity.

And it’s time to stop pretending we ever were.

For more information about Non-Binary Erasure and how harmful it is, you can check out these articles:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/common-non-binary-erasure/

https://www.dailydot.com/irl/nonbinary-people-racism/

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Nonbinary_erasure

https://traj.openlibhums.org/articles/10.16995/traj.422/

https://medium.com/an-injustice/everyday-acts-of-non-binary-erasure-49ee970654fb

https://medium.com/national-center-for-institutional-diversity/the-invisible-labor-of-liberating-non-binary-identities-in-higher-education-3f75315870ec

https://musingsofanacademicasexual.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/dear-sirmadam-a-commentary-on-non-binary-erasure/

4. How Do We Fix It?

Well, first things first: Stop acting like we don’t exist.

And kindly stop other people from doing it too.

We are a part of the LGBT+ community and we deserve to be acknowledged, no matter what our pronouns are.

Address non-binary people with the right pronouns. Don’t argue with them about their identity, don’t comment on how much you think they look like a boy or a girl. Just accept them and be respectful.

If a non-binary person tells you they have two sets of pronouns, for example he/him and they/them, don’t just use one set of pronouns. That can come off as disingenuous. Alternate between the pronouns, don’t leave one or the other out. It’ll probably be hard at first, but if you keep it up, you’ll get used to it pretty quickly.

If you’re witnessing someone harass a non-binary person over their identity, step in and help them.

And please, don’t partake in non-binary erasure in media fandoms.

Don’t misgender non-binary characters, don’t “speculate” on what you think their gender might be. You already know their gender and it’s non-binary. It costs exactly 0 $ to be a decent human being and accept that.

Support Non-Binary people by educating yourself about them and helping to normalize and integrate their identity.

In fact, here’s a list of petitions, organizations and articles who will help you do just that:

https://www.change.org/p/collegeboard-let-students-use-their-preferred-name-on-collegeboard-9abad81a-0fdf-435c-8fca-fe24a5df6cc7?source_location=topic_page

6 Ways to Support Your Non-Binary Child

7 Non-Negotiables for Supporting Trans & Non-Binary Students in Your Classroom

If Your Partner Just Came Out As Non-Binary, Here’s How To Support Them

How to Support Your Non-Binary Employees, Colleagues and Friends

Ko-fi page for the Nonbinary Wiki

The Sylvia Rivera Project, an organization who aims to give low-income and non-white transgender, intersex and non-binary people a voice

The Anti Violence Project “empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence through organizing and education, and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy."

The Trans Lifeline, a hotline for transgender people by transgender people

Tl:DR: Non-Binary representation is important. Non-Binary people still suffer from society at large not acknowledging our existence and forcing us to conform. Don’t be part of that problem by taking away what little representation we have. Educate yourself and do better instead. We deserve to be seen and heard.

#non-binary #agender #demigender #gender identity #essay #erasure #lgbt representation #misgendering #undertale #she ra spop #apex bloodhound #doppelganger #steven universe

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lokislittlesigyn · 3 years

Text

// loki spoilers

This is basically a huge infodump on my thoughts about the first episode, because I doubt y’all want to sift through my trauma-ridden ramblings. I’ll make another post for the rest. This is just everything not related to the IW stuff/my reaction to that. It’s general thoughts, theories, musings.

1. When Loki gets first taken into the TVA. Is that Peggy Carter in the background? Others have suggested it might be. What would that mean??? Will we see the TVA fix the mess the Russos made with Steve/Peggy (not likely) or is it just a lookalike? Who knows..

2. A skrull at the main intake desk! Idk not super relevant just interesting!

3. I’m kind of glad they changed the... uncomfortable scene... with the robot burning his clothes off. He gets more time to react to seeing the machine itself, and he seems more shocked (”Now.. H-hang on just a minute.”) than angry (”Now hang on just a minute!”) i still feel.. horrible for him, i’m glad nobody Saw him and that the machine didn’t grab the clothes off, but still. Ehhh.. uncomfortable.

He is beautiful though, don’t get me wrong - I’d just prefer a shirtless Loki scene where he wants to be shirtless? let him do what he wants with his body?? he’s probably felt so out of control of his body, from being jotun to falling through space that any invasion of privacy like that hits extra deep...

That being said, I recognize the utility of the scene for the narrative - his lack of control, his literally being stripped of what he was before.

4. WHO IS THE MAN WITH THE CAT. What is his name. I love that he has a mug with his cat on it. But I want to know more. Who is he?

4.1 WHY DIDNT YOU LET LOKI PET THE CAT Please,,, I am begging you,,, let loki pet the cat and have something react kindly to him and purr all happily at his scratching behind their ears plea s e

5. The info sheet. Now this is just a little nitpicky tidbit, but in a previous promo they listed Loki’s height as 6′4 ft and weight as 525 lbs. This is taken directly from the comics if I’m not mistaken. However, in the actual show he’s listed as 6′2 (Tom’s height and Loki’s presumed height) but I don’t remember if his weight is the same. Is Loki 6′2? 6′4? please let me know i want to know how smol i am in comparison

6. His little aggressive shaking of the ticket at the guard makes me giggle each time.

7. The fact the turnstile hits so low on him reminds me,, I am short compared to him. Those things hit my stomach/waist. That one hit his legs. I am once again asking Loki to pick me up.

8. The cartoon with Miss Minutes introducing the TVA is wonderful, I love the art style especially. But it raises questions about Variants... I guess Variants can just, pop out of nowhere? Any action could be the wrong one? And then once you commit the wrong action you either get returned or pruned? Yikes??? And THIS ties into another thing later!

9. The trial scene. I have a hunch - a feeling, a suspicion. That one of three things may be true.

A. The Time-Keepers never actually existed. They’re fabricated, and now whoever runs the TVA is actually using the excuse of “The Time-Keepers decree it so!!!” to carry out whatever They think is right. The fact we haven’t seen the Time-Keepers makes me.. suspicious...

B. The Time-Keepers existed, but they have since passed on, however that may have happened. Now someone is doing the same as above, using the excuse of the Time-Keepers apparent dictations to run things.

C. The Time-Keepers do exist, and do run the timeline/TVA, but maybe they’re not infallible? Maybe the TVA info video is lying or incomplete in some way? Idk I just feel like, something about the TVA and how they run things has to be wrong. It has to? Something is off. Again, this will tie into another thought later...

I have no idea if any of these are actually true! But Loki’s questions of “Who’s in charge here? What do they do? What do you do?” punctuated by laughter leads me to believe he’s suspecting something too, or perhaps just trying to figure this mess out.

10. Seiðr/Magic. We see in this scene, Loki’s magic (”powers”) don’t work in the TVA. (and a quick side note, did he have to Flex like that? do you have to make me see Loki’s bare arms Flex like that? be still my heart. anyway please get that collar off of him and let him rest for five minutes) This makes me wonder.. Why isn’t Loki in his Jotun form? His pale skin and blue eyes are decided by magic, are they not? I suppose this is 2012, so perhaps Odin’s magic is keeping Loki looking like that. But if magic doesn’t work in the TVA, why would his spell reach so far? Clearly Loki’s magic isn’t what’s doing it. How is Loki not appearing as a Jotun? Is his Jotun form repressed - is pale skin his default now, rather than something hidden by magic? I need answers!

11. he sounds so scared about being “reset” please dont hurt him,,

12. cALLING LOKI A PUSSYCAT? (lokitty confirmed) I think Mobius was goading him (Mobius strikes me.. As extremely clever. He’s trying to push Loki’s buttons to see who he’s dealing with. At least, I hope so. Because if he really meant that “You were born to cause pain and suffering and death... All so that others can achieve the best versions of themselves.” and that line about killing Frigga??? No no no he is not guilty. He had no way of knowing what would happen. It wasn’t right to send Algrim up to Asgard (i think algrim wouldve found the way up anyway) but there was no intent to hurt Frigga. I really hope you’re trying to goad him, Mobius, because if you believe that I trust you much less. anyway i digress) but wow is he pushing Loki’s buttons a lot. I can’t... Blame him entirely, I understand he’s trying to make sure Loki’s on his side, maybe I’m just too soft for Loki idk. But some of that was very cruel to say. /:

12.1 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT MOBIUS. That scene with the girl in the church?? Did that little girl kill the men? Is that young Sylvie? Or is she using an illusion to make herself look young and innocent? What’s going on!!!!

13. LOKI SNATCHING THE LITTLE TIME-TWISTER DEVICE AND STOWING IT IN HIS POCKET.... POCKET....... sorry sometimes i get so caught up about loki that i just say random words in between little noises and squeals,,, i am a silly thing

14. CASEY. CASEY??? That whole exchange is funny. Poor Loki, just trying to intimidate this guy so he can escape but - Casey doesn’t know what a fish is. to be fair.... thor doesn’t seem to know what a raccoon is... right?

15. That bit with the infinity stones is kind of funny until you realize

A. Natasha died for a paperweight

B. Tony died from paperweights

C. Loki was tortured for paperweights

D. Oh, and Gamora died for a paperweight too. And Vision. Need I go on?

Then it becomes less of exclusively “haha funny” and now it’s a mix of funny and pain and gosh, is that a good way to sum up being a Marvel/Loki fan sometimes...

16. Loki gazing at the timeline all “Is this the most powerful thing in the universe?” or something, i’m sorry i don’t remember exactly... made me think of a meme and i shall make it presently.

17. I love that Loki got to see examples of how his family loves him but the fact he’s all “I can’t go back.” really just breaks me. It’s like he can finally see they love him after all of this mess, and now he doesn’t have the chance. Please, please let him be happy. Give him some relief. This is the Loki that just came off finding out about being Jotun, falling from the Bifrost, encountering Thanos, attacking Earth, facing defeat, and now he’s being thrashed around in this wild place and has just found out he inadvertently caused Frigga’s death (he did not kill her: his actions, by mistake, lead to her murder, let me be very clear) AND Odin will die AND all the rest... And he wants to be with them.

18. Loki’s reaction to Thor suggesting the hug makes me soft. Please I want to hug this little mischief man so so so bad-

19. Skipping over the iw parts! That’s for another post because this one will be grossly long anyway.

20. “I don’t enjoy hurting people.” and “It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control.” was all so, so validating. I’ve been trying to argue on Loki’s behalf for almost a solid decade. Seeing the show recognize that Loki’s not all just violence and hurting for “fun”, that he’s not unhinged and bloodthirsty.. Is so nice. It’s just so, so comforting. and it gives me hope for future episodes that they won’t go the route of “oh haha loki bullied and mistreated and stabbed thor for years!!! :)” loki cries during basically every fight with Thor and you want me to believe he stabs Thor for fun? absolutely not.

21. Theory.. Just another hunch.. So we know a fugitive variant, aka Loki, is running amok. Refer back to 8 and 9.C. What if the Time-Keepers never actually fixed the timeline into a single timeline? What if there are other timelines, and these different Loki variants have hopped over to the current one? Or, maybe the Time-Keepers did fix the timeline into a single one, and these Lokis are remnants from that huge time-war at the beginning? Time runs differently in relative spaces, they may have Just Left that war from their perspective!

I say Lokis and not Loki because we’re pretty sure there’s Female/Lady Loki, Old Man/King Loki, and possibly Young/Kid Loki. That’s at least three. From the peeks of Asgard and NYC we’ve seen from the trailers, I think we’re also getting an Asgardian King!Loki and Midgardian King/Vote!Loki. (unless our dearest variant is hopping into timelines and situating into them, but I doubt Mobius would let that happen..?) That’s five.

To further support this, keep in mind, I believe recently six (i think 6 regular and 6 rare...) different funko pops were announced for the series? I’m not sure if they’re in addition to the Loki and Mobius already released. If they are, there’s enough room for each Loki and maybe a TVA agent. One of the pops is supposed to have a buddy/companion I think? Maybe they’re making the cat guy into one, or maybe there’s something else (Throg, anyone?).

22. That is totally Lady Loki/Sylvie at the end by the way. Has to be. But why does she want the reset devices? Why did she snatch that TVA Hunter? Again, WHAT’S GOING ON

ANYWAY this was a very long post if you made it this far, I commend you.

#no proofread only post #long posts about loki #loki #loki series #loki spoilers #sigyn says WORDS #SPOILER HEAVY

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cycleoffates · 4 years

Photo

been meaning to post my first NSR OC here for a while but decided to wait until i got around to hopping on the bandwagon and making a robot/1010 OC companion for them! here’s my NSR OCs Chroma and J7/Vesta! :D Submitted the both of them to the #CitizensofVinylCity collab that Zuke’s VA is hosting on Twitter too :”)

more info below the read-more for bios!

KLIFF: “Hope you’re ready to dive deep into the ground for this one, kids! Because this next star is, quite literally, a hidden gem.”

NAME: Chroma (they/them) AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: NSR Artist, Charter of the Meteo District. PLACE OF CONCERT: Lux Museum GENRE: Artcore (EDM) WEAPON/INSTRUMENT OF CHOICE: Lapid Mining Drones THEME: Qavsell by Feryquitous / ALT: ALiUS by Feryquitous

Chroma is affiliated with NSR, and works as both a EDM musician, artist and lapidary. Many people associate Chroma with the former and latter, which is their music and the beautiful jewelries and gems they craft and refine.

With artcore being a genre that many people don’t know about, Chroma is the same way. Unlike NSR’s Megastars, Chroma prefers to be lowkey, not being the type of person to flaunt themselves. Chroma would rather have their music and jewels be in the light instead of them.

As a person, Chroma is very quiet yet kind. They tend to keep to themselves, engaging in conversations with strangers for a short period of time. They are extremely passionate about lapidation and art, and will go on semi-long talks about their interests if presented with the opportunity. They are also humble, not wanting to bask in the limelight for too long. They treat everyone they see with silent kindness, and it is not uncommon to see Chroma spend more time with their AI drones and Vesta. However, should Chroma see anyone laying their hands on their bots or attempting to hurt them, Chroma’s mood will shift and they will aggressively protect them.

As a boss, Chroma is a long-range attacker, utilizing mirrors, light-rays, prisms and their mining drones (Barringer, Holsinger) to fire beams of light and bright flashes to attack and stun their opponents. Chroma will often maintain their distance from BBJ, dodging swiftly and running to the other side of the arena when presented with the chance. Once attacked enough, Chroma will “crack,” shifting to become hysteric and their form will transform into something more sharper and hardened. They will drop their long distance attacks and lash at their opponents with claw-like hands, or charge at them with their horn-like headgear. Their drones will also activate into “mining mode,” spinning like drills, swiftly honing in and flying at BBJ to attack them.

EXTRA 1: Chroma names all of the drone AIs. Their main drones that stay by their sides are Barringer (white) and Holsinger (black). They also chose the name for Vesta.

EXTRA 2: the horns on Chroma’s head are not permanent. They are removable, worn like head-gear, and is used to relay messages to and from their drones. Their headgear also comes with an ear-piece, which is worn in Chroma’s hidden ear.

EXTRA 3: Chroma looks up to Eve as a fellow artist and admires her work, often visiting the Evenfall Gallery on their free time.

EXTRA 4: Chroma is secretly a fan of SAYU and 1010.

KLIFF, AFTER BBJ RETURNS FROM METEO: “You say you fought a robot in Chroma’s district, huh? That’s funny, I don’t have anything about a ‘strange 1010′ written in my notes. Then again, Meteo isn’t a place I visit everyday.”

NAME: J7 “VESTA” (he/him) AGE: ? OCCUPATION: Meteo District’s Head of Security, Chroma’s companion and overseer of the mines. PLACE OF CONCERT: Lux Museum GENRE: ????/EDM WEAPON/INSTRUMENTS OF CHOICE: BIORUS Stinger, titanium drill legs. THEME: SECRET BOSS by Camellia

Formerly known as J7, Vesta is a repurposed and customized 1010 robot who serves as many things within Meteo, with his primary role being Chroma’s bodyguard. Though he and Chroma are close, their relationship can hardly be called romantic. The two share a mutualistic bond over similarities (not in appearance) and the need to protect one another. Chroma is fragile yet wants to keep Vesta safe, whereas Vesta is dangerous to everyone around him, including himself.

Due to glitches in his system from a virus that could not be fully removed in time, he had to be put out of commission. Said glitches from the virus’s remaining effects include:

The inability to fully form his left iris (iris lens expansion causes further glitches and hinders eye movement, thus perpetually stuck in its shrunken form).

The inability to sing and dance like the current builds of 1010.

Glitching caused by the virus’s aftermath. This causes his mind to fragment, and the glitch lasts longer the more intense of an emotion he feels. If he is in close contact with other robots or electronics, one touch can instantly cause them to glitch*, malfunction or even deactivate for a short period of time. If not careful, he can shut down power-grids (this has happened once before, and Chroma knew immediately to ask for Neon J to upgrade their district’s network/systems to prevent a shutdown from ever happening again).

*There is a unique event that comes when Vesta is in close contact with another robot. Should he glitch while feeling intense emotions, he has the ability to project his glitches through contact (via hands, stinger). This will allow whoever he touches (given that they must be a bot) to feel what he feels, only for a short moment.

As a person, despite his appearance, Vesta is very self-conscious. He feels his sheer height may intimidate many, when that doesn’t end up being the case. Non-district visitors may recognize him as a 1010, which causes him to become anxious and overwhelmed. As he was upgraded and customized to Chroma’s likeness, Neon J activated him in Meteo upon Chroma’s request as to not attract attention near the other districts when he would awaken. He has never once come into contact with 1010, only seeing them on giant screens and billboards. Each time he sees them, he feels a strange aching sensation in his robotic core that tells him he should be like them...

As a boss, Vesta is extremely protective of Chroma. During the initial battle against Chroma, Vesta will swoop in before BBJ can finish them off. Seeing Chroma hurt puts Vesta into a glitched rage, causing his system to go into SECURITY MODE. He will then utilize his BIORUS Stinger to attack his opponents, which can extend like a scorpion’s tail. Like Chroma’s mining drones, he has the ability to transform his legs into drills, charging at BBJ with flying kicks and sometimes spinning and attempting to hit them. Like SAYU’s last form/Yinu’s last segment, his battle is a short one, if dodged and timed right. He will experience another malfunction due to his intense emotions, and can be knocked out when he is frozen in place trying to control himself.

EXTRA 1: Vesta was originally a J7 unit, which was supposed to be an indigo color. Due to Neon J later on limiting 1010 to five members, he had to scrap them.

EXTRA 2: Originally, Chroma went to Baracca mansion to ask Neon J for software upgrades for Barringer and Holsinger. While waiting, Chroma stumbled upon a powered down J7 and asked if they could have it. J7 told them that specific bot was off for good reasons, but with much insisting, Neon gave in to Chroma’s pleas, and even gave in to customizing J7 to Chroma’s liking (this resulted in Chroma paying J back by giving him any gem/metal materials he may need to fix/upgrade his own robots).

EXTRA 2.5: Chroma had the intent to have Vesta be customized to match them in some form (horns, diamond pupil, duo-toned palette).

#no straight roads #nsr #no straight roads oc #nsr oc #nsr ocs #1010 oc #kura draws #yeah you could say i spent a long time writing about vesta #oc #ocs #origi #SLIGHTLY #listen man........ i love 1010......... i make a 1010 oc boy bc why not :)#long post //#chroma #vesta

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its-tie-kir-ra · 3 years

Note

Wait, do you actually think that there's a chance that Sessrin could be a trick done by the writers? Like they could take it back and change it next season?

OK I have no idea how long this has been in my askbox so sorry 😬😩🙇🏼‍♀️

I very specifically said that the writers could write themselves out of canon if they wanted to. Not that they are going to, but that they could. I believe that it's canon until proven otherwise, and I won't hold my breath. This was mostly just from stuff that doesn't make sense to me, as both a writer and producer. Lemme explain.

So, first, let's talk about writing.

They don't try to sell me on the pairing at all.

Like nothing. Nada. There's no story behind the pairing. There's no build up. There is an 88 second long ice bucket of a scene that could fix climate change, that's how cold it is. They don't even attempt. Which just doesn't make sense to me.

They could've easily pulled some of the filler episodes to make it a few about their relationship and how it grew, because weirdly enough I do see the appeal behind the pairing. Like seriously, no judgement to anyone who ships it. We all have our kinks, and I know for a fact that I have one pairing in particular that most people who be like 'what the hell, that's gross, you're gross, yadayadayada'. S*ssrin actually have a really solid base for what could be a really lovely love story, from a writer's perspective, and it could go like 50 different directions. I can see the fantasy element of being dragged off by a demon into the forest to be possessed. There have been hundreds of stories told like this over the last thousands of years, that kink isn't anything new.

But it's just the fact that they don't take that time, they don't do any buildup, and they just expect me to buy that this is a healthy marriage without any evidence pointing to the contrary. Like I said in my video, if you saw it as guardian/child, they don't take any second to reassure you that 'no, Rin was not a victim, she chose this with complete agency'. Nada.

(I don't count any of the other scenes between them from the original as build up. I don't, full stop. Because if I do, that has some pretty gross implication. I have to believe that Sesshomaru had completely pure motivations in bringing Rin along with him when she was a child, for my own sanity. My. Own. Sanity. And also, for my own sanity, I believe that the writers want us to believe that Rin is at minimum 18 when she gets pregnant and that the reason Rin is not deemed important enough to be given an actual arc in the narrative is because this series is written by men and she's a woman who at this point is over thirty, so, basically, she's dead to them unless she's cooking.)

There's also other things. How only one character (Kaede) talks about Rin to the twins. How neither twin looks anything like Rin, or at least not more like her than how any other anime character looks like another anime character). Now some of this could be attributed to the mystery, but it's just so stupid that I'm confused.

Now, Marketing.

This is where I really get weirded out. Because not only do they do nothing to sell me on the pairing in the show, there is absolutely ZERO effort to sell Sesshomaru and Rin as a married power couple that they supposedly are in any official marketing materials. That I've seen. So far all I know about is one art piece that shows Sesshomaru and Rin together that was allegedly drawn by one of the animators. There is a ton of merch that shows Inukag being Inukag and MirSan being MirSan but nothing with Sesshomaru and Rin unless Rin is still a child. Which...like...wouldn't the studio be doing everything they can to sell you on the pairing?

Studios know about shipping. Full stop. Shipping is insanely profitable by companies (Harem anime, anyone?), and they will do everything they can to sell you on a canon pairing (look at a show like Sailor Moon; half of her merch is with Tuxedo Mask because people want to see them TOGETHER). This is PRIME merch time; right after a ship becomes canon. Why the fuck isn't there a flood of Sessrin Merch out in hot topic right now? Like...make it make sense. From a business perspective, not putting out merch right now is losing hundred of thousands if not millions of dollars. And we're talking EASY money. Like...cash grab money...you know...like Yashahime is. Why aren't they milking it? It makes no sense.

So, at this point, they know on some level there is some uneasiness with S*ssrin. I don't know much about the Japanese fandom (and I welcome anyone with experience in it to share it below and I'll reblog it) but from what I understand there were plenty of them going 'WHAT THE FUCK'. And I know from my own conversations with Japanese people is that a lot of them really hate how a lot of Western people basically see Japanese people as people who participate in these really taboo sex acts and fetishize them (I have heard so many gross stories, oh my god). Which means there's a good chance a lot of them aren't too happy about how this makes Japanese culture appear to foreigners, and there is probably a section of fans going 'uuuuh, yeah, no, gross'. So like, there is no way the studio isn't aware of this on some level and isn't putting INSANE pressure on Sumisawa. And even so, anime is really big outside of Japan, and I doubt that they don't on some level keep an eye on what the Western countries think about this/what they want. It's a huge market and makes up a huge portion of their revenue.

And there's also something about an official family tree that hasn't been updated yet, which is just fucking bizarre at this point. Unless there's another mystery, I can't think of a reason why they haven't changed it yet (I guess laziness could also be a reason which would be in character for Sunrise).

Have it so there was a spell that made Kaede misremember the twins mother. Make it so that Rin is the mom but Sesshomaru isn't the father (which would explain why he left the children to be eaten by wolf demons 🤷🏼‍♀️). Have it so Sesshomaru pulled a virgin Mary and had the babies through his asshole. Anything goes.

It's just weird. This whole debacle is weird. So weird. Honestly, I would still be surprised if they did switch it up. I'd be in the corner laughing as the fandom dissolved into chaos. I'm not holding my breath, but there's room to do so if they wanted to.

(I also don't think that if it doesn't turn out to be canon, that the writers were geniuses all along and doing this big twist. I'm not that naive. It's more like they decided to test to the waters to see what fans wanted this, and now they can back out of it if they wanted to.)

Thanks for the ask!

#anti sessrin #anti sesshomaru #anti hanyo no yashahime #anti yashahime #pedomaru #anti rinsess #ask

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webbergirl · 2 years

Text

With ‘West Side Story,’ choreographer Justin Peck brought dance into the Spielberg universe⁣

At one point in the making of the new movie version of “West Side Story,” Justin Peck, the film’s choreographer, found himself careening around the studio with Steven Spielberg, pushing the director in a swivel chair so he could shoot the dancers with his phone.⁣⁣

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That’s when Peck realized he’d hurtled topsy-turvy into a crazy, wondrous universe. He’d also met a major goal: getting the Spielbergian operation to trust in the power of a wordless, poetic art form.⁣⁣

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That, after all, was Peck’s first task: convincing Spielberg, who’d never made a movie musical, that dance can tell a story all on its own. Without dialogue or special effects.⁣⁣

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“Dance can be a foreign and strange means of communication to some people,” Peck, 34, said in a recent interview over Zoom. “There was a process of working toward understanding it that Steven went through, and that we were in constant dialogue about. It was helping him understand the full range of what dance could express in a moment — that it was its own tool of language that could run throughout this film in the same way that words could or visuals could.”⁣⁣

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This came into focus when Peck and Spielberg were overseeing a rehearsal of the dance at the gym, an extended centerpiece that plunges moviegoers into the fiery emotions of the rival teenage gangs who frame the plot. It’s where the Puerto Rican Sharks and the White, blue-collar Jets pour all their resentments, defiance and cultural pride into a dance battle that’s inflamed by Leonard Bernstein’s Latin jazz and a fiercely syncopated mambo.⁣⁣

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Spielberg, says Peck, wasn’t content to stand in a corner and watch. He wanted to immerse himself in the heart of the dance, to see how it looked through the camera lens.⁣⁣

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“He was shooting it through his iPhone, trying to get inside the choreography,” Peck says. “So I’m wheeling around this iconic American director on a computer chair as the dancers are doing the movement.⁣⁣

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“It was,” he adds, “a surreal, what-is-my-life moment.”⁣⁣

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Peck isn’t new to moviemaking; he choreographed the 2016 film “Red Sparrow,” starring Jennifer Lawrence as a ballerina turned spy. He also won a 2018 Tony award for his choreography in the Broadway revival of “Carousel.” But working alongside such towering entertainment figures as Spielberg and screenwriter Tony Kushner, the acclaimed “Angels in America” playwright, Peck faced an intimidating challenge, to be sure. Add to that the little matter of choreographer Jerome Robbins, one of his personal heroes. Peck’s job was to reimagine Robbins’s famous dances, fixed in Broadway and movie history as some of the finest theatrical choreography ever.⁣⁣

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His approach to the Robbins legacy, Peck says, was “not only being reverent of his work, but letting go of having to serve it. And to make my own mark in what I wanted it to be.”⁣⁣

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In other words, along with earning the filmmakers’ trust, he had to trust himself.⁣⁣

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Peck is speaking from his office at Lincoln Center, in the headquarters of New York City Ballet, where he has been the resident choreographer since 2014. He’s wearing an oversize Yankees sweatshirt that engulfs his lanky dancer’s frame. Dark hair in frothy waves flops over his horn-rimmed glasses.⁣⁣

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He was a committed Robbins fan even before joining NYCB and performing his ballets. It was a family thing: Peck’s grandfather, a civil rights activist who rode one of the first Freedom Riders buses into the South, was so moved by Robbins’s 1957 Broadway production of “West Side Story” that he took his young son, Peck’s future father, to see it.⁣⁣

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Later, Peck’s father and his mother, who had immigrated from Argentina to New York, shared the 1961 film with their son. They had moved from New York to Washington, where Peck was born, and then to San Diego, where he grew up. Peck doesn’t remember how old he was when he saw the film with his family — “It came from a moment,” he says, “when they were feeling nostalgic for New York City” — but seeing how the dancing deepened and developed the plot marked a moment of no return.⁣⁣

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“I wanted to explore what that was,” he says. “It had a huge influence in getting me to New York. I couldn’t get to New York fast enough.”⁣⁣

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He got there at 15, arriving at the School of American Ballet, the training pipeline into New York City Ballet, the company that, not incidentally, was Robbins’s choreographic home until his death in 1998. At 18, Peck joined NYCB as an apprentice; a year later he was in the corps de ballet. One of his first roles was Bernardo, leader of the Sharks, in “West Side Story Suite,” a restaging of excerpts from the musical that Robbins created for the company in 1995.⁣⁣

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“It was kind of daunting. I had to lead the group as a 19-year-old,” Peck says. “But it was an organic connection with his work that’s followed me my whole life.”⁣⁣

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Peck eventually rose to the rank of soloist, while at the same time making his own dances. (He retired from dancing in 2019.) He has created more than 20 ballets for NYCB alone, works that tend to play up the dancers’ relationships as friends and colleagues. As in a Robbins ballet, Peck’s dancers come across as real people — young, assertive, full of life. Performing so many of Robbins’s ballets over the years helped teach him how to uncork a dancer’s inner electricity.⁣⁣

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Those ballets also freed Peck to walk his own path in the Spielberg “West Side Story.”⁣⁣

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“Having this long-term experience of watching [Robbins’s] work onstage and then dancing inside his works helped me understand them in a methodical way,” Peck says. “Not like cramming for a project. It was over many years. And I suppose that led to this moment of taking on the daunting task of choreographing maybe one of the greatest pieces of dance theater of all time.⁣⁣

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“It allowed me to let go of the conscious obligation of paying tribute to his work,” he adds, “and just know that it was embedded in me. It’s part of my own fabric.”⁣⁣

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Peck quotes from Robbins, for example, in the dance-in-the-gym sequence when Tony, the sensitive, peacemaking Jet played by Ansel Elgort, meets Rachel Zegler’s Maria, sister to Shark leader Bernardo.⁣⁣

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It’s a counterpoint to all the spinning kinetic fury and slashing lines of the gang confrontation in the gym, which involved “hundreds of people and very precise timing to pull off,” Peck says. The camera zeros in on the Jets as they enter, swings low over the floor (with dancing Jets snaking under cable wires) and circles around to capture the Sharks’ reactions. “When we got that shot, Steven and I jumped out of our chairs, freaking out and high-fiving like we were 5-year-olds.”⁣⁣

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Yet the quieter love-at-first-sight moment required a simpler approach. Peck decided to honor what Robbins had devised, with Tony and Maria locking eyes, reaching their arms out and slowly circling each other, as if caught in the gradual, inexorable pull of a whirlpool.⁣⁣

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“It was too perfect,” says Peck, “to not include.”⁣⁣

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“They’re communicating with their movement and a physicality that comes from a deeper place within. It’s the first thing that binds them. That’s what makes us understand their chemistry — it’s their dancing. It’s this transcendent means of expression.”⁣⁣

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“Let’s lean into that more,” he says he told Spielberg. “And for someone who’s never done a dance musical, there’s a process to finding the trust in that. But I’m grateful he did trust that.”⁣⁣

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David Alvarez, who plays Bernardo, says Peck has an uncanny ability to highlight the unique talents of each dancer. “He studies you as a dancer and as a person,” Alvarez says, “and finds what your strengths are and makes sure you can shine through those strengths.”⁣⁣

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Alvarez, one of the original Billys in “Billy Elliot the Musical,” appreciated that because he hadn’t danced in years before this film came along.⁣⁣

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“I was rusty when I came into the audition process,” he says. “So Justin was trying to figure out what I could do that was special, and right off the bat he knew it was my jumps, my turns, my double tours. He knew they’d be powerful on the screen, and I’m only shining because of him.”⁣⁣

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Peck credits Kushner’s freehanded treatment of the story with inspiring him to envision the dance numbers in new ways. Kushner, he says, “applied his own imagination. It was a philosophical blueprint.”⁣⁣

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It was Kushner’s idea to place the tension-filled “Cool” scene, where the Jets squeeze down their hotheaded impulses, near the middle of the movie, before the fatal fight with the Sharks. (In the 1961 film, it comes after the fight, as a way for the surviving Jets to focus their grief.) Kushner’s idea makes the “Cool” number about gun violence, Peck says, as Tony tries to persuade Jets leader Riff — the astonishingly quicksilver Mike Faist — not to bring bullets to the knife fight. The dancing spills across a dilapidated ferry terminal on the water that was specially constructed in an abandoned parking lot in Brooklyn. It’s such a sprawling number that Peck couldn’t find a studio big enough for rehearsals and had to create it in sections, finally putting it together on location.⁣⁣

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“We were all nervous about it,” Peck says. “It was one of the first things we filmed, and one of the more radical things.”⁣⁣

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Peck’s work puts a dangerous, violent twist on virtuoso dance moves — Faist corkscrewing into the air, the Jets skidding down ramps and Elgort, a former ballet student at SAB, rocketing skyward with the rest of them. The choreographer has high praise for the dancers, all of different abilities and backgrounds. One, Harrison Coll, is from NYCB; others have made their mark on Broadway and elsewhere. Peck and his two associate choreographers — his wife, former ballerina Patricia Delgado, and dancer Craig Salstein — made sure the cast took a dance class together every day, as in a dance company, including Elgort, the film’s biggest star.⁣⁣

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It’s a great point of pride, Peck says, that there were no dance doubles or body doubles. (A few doubles are credited, he says, but that’s because they were obliged to have them on standby for the underage actors, and they were never used.)⁣⁣

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“No body doubling, no face replacement, no cutting away to hide anything,” he says with a wide smile. “It’s all very authentically danced. We had to fight so hard for that and make sure everyone was on the level to perform that way so they didn’t feel exposed.”⁣⁣

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In “Red Sparrow,” for instance, Lawrence’s ballet scenes were doubled by American Ballet Theatre star Isabella Boylston. That’s the industry trend. Peck preferred to cast “real standouts.”⁣⁣

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“We had to find the cast that can do right by the legacy of ‘West Side Story,’ ” he says. “The work is only as good as those who interpret it.”⁣⁣

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It’s clear that making this film jazzed him up for more.⁣⁣

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“I do feel like I really caught the bug,” he says. “My goal, as I think and dream, would be to make my own film, and approach it from a dancemaker’s point of view, as Jerome Robbins and Bob Fosse have done.⁣⁣

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“It’s a miracle whenever a film is made,” he says with a laugh. “So I’ll just put that into the universe.”⁣⁣

https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/theater_dance/justin-peck-west-side-story-dancing/2021/12/08/ed75f416-576f-11ec-9a18-a506cf3aa31d_story.html

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#steven spielberg #West Side Story #Justin Peck #david alvarez #ansel elgort #mike faist #behind the scenes #choreography

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glitterytidalwavedragon · 3 years

Text

Expanding into my other Fandoms (I’m gonna have to take a stance) Read the whole thing please.

One of my oldest and most beloved anime is Inuyasha. As of late I have been binged watching the hell out of it as I am getting my BFF into different anime shows. We are really close to entering the Yashahime part of the series, and she asked if I planned to write fanfiction involving the one character which made me even watch the show as a 10-year-old.

Sesshomaru

The first episode I ever watched involved this aloof, entitled dog fighting his brother over the sword in their father’s grave. Specifically, it was part 3 of that whole episode series were Kagome pulled out the sword. I at the time had 3 dogs of German Sheppard/wolf hybrid, they were MASSIVE dogs, fell in love with the big white fluff that was Sesshomaru’s demon form. I use to sneak staying up and watch the show faithfully to see the goodest boy as it was only on at 11pm EST on adult swim. Which meant it was bad and I was breaking the rules, I felt like a rebel.

Now I hesitated answering that question. She has no idea of what is in Yashahime, she is being careful not to spoil it so I told her I didn’t know. Recently, to find out what the feel is for Sesshomaru content, I looked into the tag on tumblr…

OH MY GOD.

Sesshomaru’s tag is FLOODED with hate. Like every four post, there is hate, distain, and attacking happening. As someone who watches Yashahime, I quickly knew why.

Sessrin.

Even now I sigh. And I sigh HARD. I am not for, nor am I against the Sessrin train. Same for the Sesskagu train. I think both sides need to look at things on a logical prospective. I plan to do just that. I know I will get hate from the either side and maybe some support as well. But if I am going to do anything in this fandom (as I like doing ships and reader inserts) it will come up.

So, like my Kaiba post, and my Sebastian Heel post, I will use my research skills as well as my COLLEGE DEGREE WHICH HAS BOTH ART AND MEDIEVAL HISTORY labelled on it to explain why this progression in the story is normal to anti-Sessrin fans and why this isn’t a crime by story standards nor should we look at it as a crime.

AS WELL

Explain to Sessrin fans why it is so weird for non-shippers to see it play out and why so much hate formed.

As I let out another sigh, we shall begin. Let’s start at an historical prospective. (Links at the bottom).

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING! I’LL BE ABLE TO TELL!

I will start with the information I can access right away.

While finding charts on the life-span of common folk in 1590’s Feudal Japan is rather difficult, Ancient.edu states that the average lifespan was about 50. To put this in perspective, the average lifespan of Europeans at the time was somewhere between 40-45 with the latter being rare. Since most of us reading are not from Japanese descent, I will through Europe in this first.

If we look at the same time frame of 1590, we are looking at most of Western Europe had now entered the age of Renaissance. According to sources from Learning Resources in association with the National Gallery of Art, marriage was not what TV drama’s from HBO or Hulu depicted. By today standards they would be a crime, as the average age for marriage of an adult female was age 14…

The reasoning behind the young marriage age had multiple factors. First being, females were considered an adult once they were menstruating. Birthing also proved to be fatal, and since the lifespan was at best 40 and 45 if they were lucky, there was really no room to wait. Also Europe at the time had became hugely focused on making sure blood lines were legitimate, meaning to ensure the girl was a virgin, the moment she was able to reproduced she was married off. Those they married were not young teenagers either. Most marriages, a man would be in their thirties, and had probably multiple wives as women died more than men when not counting the battle field.

To make matters worse for the Renaissance Lady, these marriages would leave many young males unable to marry and if their husband died in battle, well, unfortunately they were not seen as desirable. This was due to the idea of a ‘free woman’. Should the girl not have a father, brother or uncle to return to as they too died, a widow had her freedom. But that freedom came at a cost. She would be assumed to have slept around, and in many writings, such as the Canterbury Tales, where Geoffrey Chaucer writes about a Window on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land survived her five husbands and the men in her family. In short, she was made to be a slut and to be looked down upon as no man controlled her.

The point of talking about Europe is because that is something most of us Non-Asian or Japanese people consume and like to paint in large romantic brush strokes of knights and magic. Honestly, reading G.R.R.Martin Song of Ice and Fire, he uses this model as we see the Queen of Dragons, Danny start off at age thirteen shortly after she had her first menstruation.

Now let’s look at Feudal Japan.

As stated before, the lifespan was around 50 years. In some populations, this was even shorter. Nagaoka, Hirata, Yokota and Matsu’ura’s on demographic data at the Yuigahama-minami area in Kamakura, Japan and found both male and female remains that suggested life expectancy to have ended around age 24-25. This was largely due to living conditions and public health. In areas like these, it would make the most sense to marry and repopulate quickly as the expectancy of life was half the national average at the time.

To my frustration, I could not find a clear marriage age for Japanese women at the time of the edo period. HOWEVER, where there is a will there is a way. I took a look at famous Lords or Daimyo’s of the time. The average age of marriage of their wives was between 12-14. Much younger than I expected, but it made sense considering this is a time where war ran the show and marriage was strictly about political gain. One of these Daimyo’s was Masamune Date, who was also 13, but then as he got older took concubines who became considerably younger than him as he became older. The goal was to have as many children as possible for hires and for political marriages to gain power.

Now lets look at Inuyasha the MANGA

Lets get the manga timeline proper here. The whole adventure took place in 11 months, a month shy of Kagome’s 16th birthday. Doing a few estimations, Rin would have travelled with Sesshomaru about 8-9 of those months. But before we get into the relationship, lets look at something the ANIME made a huge mistake with in the beginning and tried to fix as the story went on.

For some reason I could only fine gifs for the Early appearances of Sesshomaru so bear with me.

Early appearances in the manga

^ He was so fickle and a trickster then...

Now early apperances in the anime.

Later appearance in the manga

Laster appearance in the anime

Notice the issue here?

Sesshomaru was CONSIDERABLY younger looking in the start of the manga. In the anime, he started off looking like an fully adult male. But as the anime went on, they tried to make Sesshomaru look younger with subtle changes to his jaw line, eye size, and his height. Yeah, his height had changed. They made him shorter.

While in the manga, we see this young-teen looking demon, slowly mature over 11 months to look like he is in his later teens and by series end, closer to being in his late teens or twenty. Yes, art changes over time, but the anime went a reverse route. I can only guess they spoke to the author of Inuyasha about her ships, as they did Drama CDs, and realized the mistake that was made in making him more mature than he was.

You can’t tell me he doesn’t look closer to his manga self in the final act, because he does.

Since we are on the topic of the anime, lets be clear. The anime timeline and manga timeline are very different. The story in the anime (in the English) suggests that OVER a year has past since Kagome started her journey. They try to fix this in the final act, but it was still so muddled as previous seasons are to be taken as cannon. This could have been due to an translation error in the early production when the anime no longer had anymore manga material to reference. But whatever the case, for English viewers the time the group spent together felt much longer.

So now we come to the heart of the issue.

Because of the mistakes of the anime, a lot of anti-sessrin see the relationship as father daughter. I’ll be honest, watching the anime and solely the anime as a teenager and as an adult (as the manga was on hold for a very long time due to author’s health. I was in college when it finished.), I too thought it was just a father-daughter relationship and Jaken the nanny who got punched all the time. In fact, the English took hard liberties with Kagura, as the English dubs often do with characters, and made it very clear her feelings for the demon lord and Sesshomaru very much recognized them (though he never responded). Even in her death scene, it felt as if he was saying good bye to a friend more than love interest. But who really knows, as there are things that point otherwise. When another demon mock’s Kagura’s death, Sesshomaru gets super pissy.

The manga did also play with this fact when it came out in English, idk if the wording or message is different in the Japanese. Translation errors happen a lot even in todays releases, look at Kuroshitsuji. So of course most anti-sessrin’s did not see this coming in Yashahime when Rin was named mother. In fact it felt like a betrayal as we were sure Sesshomaru had no romantic feelings.

Then there was the Kohaku/Rin mashup that was hinted left and right. The English anime, with its overly dramatic and blunt emotions made it appear one way. That in the end the two kids would probably be married. Then the anime as a whole made Sesshomaru older than intended. I can see why and understand how this became a problem.

On the other side of that coin.

If you followed the dub, seen ‘Swords of an Honorable Ruler’ and read the manga… Sesshomaru was not fatherly to Rin at all. In fact, Jaken picked up all of that leg work. Rin worried for Kohaku, but clearly loved Lord Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru cared about Kagura but he almost CRIED when he lost Rin.

We have to remember that Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship must have been very hard for the demon. While we never see his mental process expect for a few rare times, we have to remember he hated humans. In the movie, he blamed a human for the early death of his father, Sesshomaru killed without mercy. It made sense that he wouldn’t be fatherly to Rin as her just being there should have caused countless inner conflicts. Hell, he even says his father’s weakness was humans, and look who picked up that trait.

Sesshomaru was designed to, someday, walk in his father’s footsteps. So sess/rin, not a surprise. Also when you see it in a historical perspective, Rin having kids around age 15-16, makes sense. In fact you could argue he waited too long for the time period.

We also need to look more at the manga when concerned with Yashahime. 8-9 months is all Rin travelled with him and he was like hold up, and left her at the village because he KNEW she needed to come to her own conclusion. That no matter what she picked he would live with and protect her. Unconditional love on his end. She cannon wise spent YEARS living with humans and MONTHS with Sesshomaru. Again, by manga standards of cannon.

Now I can already hear the screaming about age and what not. Some sources say Sesshomaru is over 900, by the rule of thumb, if we look at anime and movie releases, we have Sesshomaru being over 500 with no define age and Inuyasha around 270 years old being more pinpointed due to the movie. Just by going by ANIME CANNON. Kagome and Inuyasha, you have a 15 year old with a 270 year old man. If you say being pinned to the tree doesn’t count, then you have 220.

Also, here is something very interesting. In the episode where Inuyasha meets the unmother, he tells her, thinking it was his mom, she died when he was very small and we have flash backs later in the series of him being small running from demons. Demons clearly age much slower than humans, even half-demons. Inuyasha can be 270 but mentally and physically be 15, the same logic works for Sesshomaru, who in the manga is not much older than Inuyasha.

In the manga, there wasn’t any grooming, in the anime, there was a ton of mess-ups but no grooming.

Would this fly in todays world? HELL NO! NO, its gross, she’s a kid. Stop.

I know any fanfic I write will lean heavily on the side of father/daughter because that is what I grew up seeing on the screen. I can’t think of Rin as an adult because years of seeing her as a cheerful little girl. It’s like seeing G.O.T Arya about to have sex for the first time in season 8… I remember when she was a kid on the show. It was way to weird and I had to look away until it ended. But that’s my 2021 mentality.

But Inuyasha is not taking place in 2021. Feudal Japan is a whole other era with its own beliefs, morals and way of life. Those who understand this have nothing wrong with them. They just understand history.

Also, just to bang some nails in…

Anyone remember Bleach? Remember the MOST accepted couple was Ichigo and Rukia…. Rukia who was hundreds of years old and Ichigo who was 15… or Ichigo’s mom who was a teenager and his dad also hundreds of years old.

Most of this also boils down to Sesshomaru being a dude. As in reverse roles in animes its accepted and they don’t have the same historical context. Inuyasha is based off of historical context of Feudal Japan.

We need to stop spreading hate. We can’t accept some forms of literature because its European fantasy but bash other fantasy based literature for doing the same thing.

Sure, its weird for those who were use to seeing the father/daughter dynamic. Yes, there are extreme sessrin fans who post really questionable illegal content when they decide to leave Rin as an 8-year-old…

But this wasn’t ever meant to be perverted. The story was meant to make sense on a logical and historical base.

I hope everyone takes the time to read this. I love Inuyasha, I love Sesshomaru. I am just sick of seeing so many people fighting over what should be the revival of a beloved series. While yes, there is still room for sess/rin not being a thing, until it is stated otherwise, why hate each other? This fandom will only lose people by doing this. Calling people names or accusing them of illegal endorsement can hurt someone these days over social media.

Tumblr allows you to block tags. You don’t have to read anything or watch anything you don’t like. We gain nothing from attacking each other but can lose so much by doing so. Fanart, really good fan fiction, friends, ideas, sharing fond memories. Both sides have the right to feel as they feel, but no right in hurting each other.

A fandom is meant to bring people together. Not start a war…

Thank you.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ajpa.20402

http://www.italianrenaissanceresources.com/units/unit-2/essays/husbands-and-wives/#:~:text=Marriage%20not%20only%20reflected%20order,to%20ensure%20the%20bride's%20virginity.

https://www.ancient.eu/Canterbury_Tales/

https://www.ancient.eu/article/1424/daily-life-in-medieval-japan/#:~:text=Just%20as%20Japanese%20people%20today,in%20Western%20Europe%2C%20for%20example.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_Masamune

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megohime

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yan-twst · 4 years

Note

What would the dorms leaders do if one day Darling just desapear and no one can remember except them can remember them?

warnings: none really? i guess this could induce paranoic thoughts in some people so there's that! oh and angst

riddle rosehearts

at first, trey assumes riddle just finally snapped (again) and went a bit crazy. he keeps asking about his "darling" and looking for them; what is he talking about?? nobody seems to even remember just a day ago riddle was walking hand in hand with his beloved

he'll immediately try to ask crowley, only to be shot down. what? the school has no non-magic students, why would riddle ask about that?

he becomes panicked and stressed. why can nobody remember them? where are they? why is he the only one who remembers them? moreover, how does he undo all of this?

he'll stress over this for the rest of his life. sure, over time he'll manage to get over the grief of losing his lover so suddenly, but he won't ever doubt his memories. he'll keep asking and looking- he knows they existed, he has to find them one day

leona kingscholar

is this another one of ruggie's pranks? he fell asleep with his darling on the bed and now not only are they gone, but ruggie is pretending he doesn't even know who his darling is? what the hell does he mean leona fell asleep alone, his darling was clearly here-

or... not. he freezes when he realizes there's no trace of his darling's scent: not just on the bed, in his whole room. nothing. not even a faint trace of them: as if they had never set foot into the room at all.

he feels nauseous when he runs and sees ramshackle dorm as abandoned and empty as it used to be, no traces of it ever being reinhabited. all of his darling's personal trinkets back in his room are gone, their dorm reverted to the state it was in, not a soul even knows who they are- leona despairs

was it just a dream or something? had he truly been so misserable he dreamed up about half a year worth of school life and meeting a fake person, fell in love with them, dated, and then woke up? it sure feels that way, but the calendar tells him those days did pass; just somehow, his darling is gone and nobody remembers them

he might even try attending class for clues. is it a curse? a spell? what the hell is going on?! where was his darling taken? he can't even sleep, knowing he'll dream of them; he'll keep searching. he has to- after all, if he loses his darling, what the hell else does he have?

azul ashengrotto

he's upset when his darling doesn't seem to come greet him in the cafeteria in the morning, and comments that they're late. jade and floyd stare at him like he grew a third head. who's late?

he gets angry and agitated when the twins become confused. his darling- how could they forget?! they eat breakfast with the three of them every morning! ... but as much as he lists on, the twins look more and more confused- eventually jade concludes azul must be feverish and tells him to go rest, he'll tell the teachers

azul is so shocked he just goes back to his room. there's no traces of his darling he noticed- any gifts they'd given to him, any personal belongings they might have left there... are gone. looking through his contracts, any contract where his darling was even mentioned seems to be different: no mention of his darling

he's a ruined man. where is his darling? did they leave and erase everyone's memories but his? or were they taken away and he's unable to help? he'll cry about it quite often; he's mourning and grieving a person who doesn't exist in other's minds.

kalim al-asim

he's equally as confused as jamil when he mentions his darling's name and jamil has no clue who he's talking about. what? is he playing a prank or did he hit his head?

he'll try to prove jamil must be sick by asking a randomscarabia studet- surely they must know! after all, kalim brings his darling to every dorm pary and makes them the center of attention! ... but the student apologizes and says he has no clue who kalim's darling is

desperation creeps in the more he asks people and the more they say they don't know who that person he speaks of is. eventually, he's panicking, and jamil is exhausted and ticked off. he thinks kalim is playing games or trying to prank him somehow, and finally tells kalim to lay off.

kalim feels empty and confused. is he... the one on the wrong? did he truly make up his darling...? no, that can't be! just a week ago he danced with them and took them on a magic carpet ride! ... right? that did happen, right?

the more time goes on, the more anxious he becomes. are his memories wrong or is everyone else wrong? but- what are the chances he's the only person who remembers? all traces of them are gone, like they never existed; is he the crazy one...?

vil schoenheit

what. is going. on?

at first he's shocked to see all his magicam posts with his darling are deleted. not archived- deleted!! did someone hack his account? no, it doesn't seem to be the case. now that he notices, all traces of his darling seem to have been scrubbed clean off social media...

he tries to go talk to his darling- to find ramshackle dorm abandoned and worn down, as it'd been when he first entered nrc. how... had it gotten so bad overnight? sure, his darling hadn't fixed the whole place up, but they'd worked plenty- just last night when he dropped them off, the place looked liveable. now... well, it was rotting and falling appart

he can't find them. oh god, where are they? he feels like he could faint. in a moment of desperation, he asks rook to find them: surely a master hunter can find his darling! ... but rook blinks twice at his request, before asking who exactly this person is and why vil needs them.

vil cannot comprehend what happened. he makes sure rook isn't pulling his leg, then tries to see if someone else remembers. he'll desperately commission artists to draw his darling as well as he can remember and spread the art through his social media- has anyone seen the person in this painting?! anyone?!

his fans think he's pranking them or doing one of those creepy internet games that'd become popular lately. rook just thinks vil may be having hallucinations or misremembering things- maybe he should de-stress and calm down, before the whole dorm sees him lashing out?

vil won't accept it. he'll keep asking and searching- he'll he known as an eccentric beauty, insisting on finding a person who seems to never have existed

idia shroud

at first he thinks his darling left him quietly. they took all the trinkets they'd left at his dorm, packed their bags and left from nrc- that was what happened, right? but then... why does ortho not even know who he's talking about?

is ortho's memory malfunctioning? he panickedly runs a scan- no, it seems to he perfect... except all traces of his darling are gone. every maintenance check comes up perfect- no files were deleted recently. so then why...?

he's too scared to ask others, so he uses his tablet and ortho to ask around, and can't believe the results. nobody knew who his darling was? not even their own classmates...?

if this was a videogame this would be the worst plot ever. but it's even worse- it's all real, too real, and he's the only one who can remember. what now? how can he look for them? are they even alive?

he'll fall into such a deep depression, even his dormmates worry about him. sure, he'd holed up in his room before, but never so badly. even ortho feels like he can't get through to idia

why would this happen?! just when he finally got felt like he could open his heart to someone, to begin to leave his shell- suddenly the person who'd helped him grow as a person is gone? erased trom the world? he'll fall back on his old habits, even worse than before- he's trying to drown out his grief and missery, but he ends up just stewing in them

malleus draconia

lilia is seriously worried over him when he won't stop mentioning his darling, a person who as far as the smaller fae and everyone else knows, doesn't exist. malleus is distraught; where is the one person who didn't fear him? where did they go?

he feels utterly heartbroken. so nobody else remembers...? he has no doubts his memories are real: he'd know if someone tampered with him using magic. but... he also doesn't sense any magic being used on the people who cannot remember his darling

was it too good to be true? to have someone who not only didn't fear him, but loved him? did he upset destiny by finding a friend? was he fated to be alone forever- and had somehow made his darling dissapear by growing close to them?

he'll blame himself, bitterly and full of agony. he's incredibly powerful, but not even he could cast such a powerful spell as to makr everyone forget about a person, dissapear all their belongings, and undo any changes they might have done to the world around them. who could even do that?

it's his fault, isn't it? perhaps he should simply live his life as it seems it was meant to be: cold and alone. he'll grow apart from everyone, even lilia, silver and sebek- he feels like he finally understands. he's destined to be a lonely beast; there's no point in him even trying to live happily

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst #angst #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia

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alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom · 3 years

Text

THE MASTERPIECE: CHAPTER 3/5

Pairing: Modern!IVAR x Reader x Modern!HVITSERK

Spotify playlist: here (only for those who like latin urban music)

Warnings: implied smut/oral sex, strong language

Words: 1938

a/n: This MASTERPIECE was so much fun. It was such an honor to do this with you @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie. Every hour of writing and editing was definitely worth it!

Summary:

Ivar and Hvitserk had always prided themselves in being the sons of Ragnar Lothbrok. They had a comfortable life full of everything they wanted: houses, cars, money, and the most beautiful women. And with all of that came the security of always having the upper hand. But what happens when a bewitching girl from Ragnar’s past arrives into their lives claiming his fortune?

“Now’s your turn, brother. Tell me what happened.” Ivar grunted, ignoring the chatter of people in their lunch break that only grew louder with each passing minute that they remained at the café.

“Well, some days after your ‘business meeting’…” Hvitserk air quoted the word with irony and Ivar puffed out a breath in exasperation. He was anxiously sitting on the edge of his seat, wishing Hvitserk would hurry the fuck up. “...she called me as well.”

~~·······~~

“Hvitserk?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

She could hear a noisy crackle on the other side of the line. Was he... eating?

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Who?” The obnoxious sound of a slurp resounded next. Yeah. He definitely had food in his mouth.

“The girl who owns your fortune.” She explained flatly.

“Why are you calling me? And where did you get my number?”

“I want to apologize and…-” She hesitated. “...yeah, just that, I guess. I want to say sorry. In person. I can go to where you are or you can come to my house again.”

“Really?” His teeth crunched down on whatever crispy snack he was nibbling.

Y/N made an effort to make her fake discomfort ring true with long awkward pauses: “…Yeah… But is it possible... that you don’t tell Ivar about this? I’m not exactly... comfortablewith him around...” Then came a planned stutter: “I’d like to s-solve this without him.”

Hvitserk hesitated but agreed. “Uh- sure.”

And it was sold.

After all, she wasn’t the first woman who was afraid of Ivar.

She smirked slyly.

“Ivar’s out on a business trip and he will be gone until tomorrow. I’d tell you where we live, but I’m pretty sure you already know our address. Since you’re the new mistress of the house and all…” He spat out with irony.

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

~~·······~~

“I’m guessing that’s when you first slept together.” Ivar chimed in much to the blond’s annoyance.

“Don’t do that... Don’t interrupt me. I want to finish, please.”

“Is that how you used to beg her?” Ivar tried his hand at a sarcastic dirty joke.

Hvitserk clenched his jaw and exhaled. “Very funny. But yes. That was the first time...”

“How many more nights were there?” Ivar shifted in his seat. His coffee had turned cold as ice almost a half-hour ago. He was visibly uncomfortable by their conversation but he still needed to know how many times he’d been fooled by Y/N.

“A couple...” Hvitserk slid down in his seat and avoided giving a direct answer.

Ivar narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t going to let it slide so he insisted: “I asked how many.”

“Every night for at least a week. Then a few times a week for a month or so. I don’t know, baby bro. I wasn’t exactly counting.” Hvitserk’s eyes showed a sense of pride. Even though he’d been cheated just as Ivar had, he still acted as if he’d won some unspoken competition between them.

“Every night?! Are you fucking kidding me brother?!” Ivar stopped listening after the first two words.

“Hey, you fucked her too and you didn’t tell me anything about it either. So, calm down.”

Ivar pressed his lips together and nodded stoically. “I see.” He didn’t want to let Hvitserk know how much the knowledge of their nights together was hurting him. By comparison, Y/N and Ivar had only slept together a handful of times. Maybe Y/N really liked his brother best. Maybe she only slept with Ivar because she had to, and she faked every second of it but it was Hvitserk the one that truly made her moan and shiver under his touch. With a slight shake of his head, Ivar shoved the thought out of his mind.

“Are you mad?” There it was again, that antagonizing glint in Hvitserk’s pupils.

“Just- go on...” Ivar knitted his eyebrows together and looked to the side, fixing his gaze on the countertop where a young man was placing his money to pay for his coffee.

~~·······~~

When Y/N stepped through the door of the Lothbrok’s grand mansion, she wasn’t sure of what she was expecting, but seeing Hvitserk sprawled on the couch shirtless wasn’t it. She wasn’t counting on him being so attentive and pleasant, not after the number he pulled last time, and she definitely wasn’t expecting him to charm her into bed so quickly. She hadn’t come to his domain to be seduced, she wanted to be the one seducing him, looking for little weak spots in his defenses that she could use against him later.

But he’d changed his whole strategy. He wasn’t coming off as a fumbling asshole anymore. Rather, Hvitserk seemed at ease, confident, and with a peculiar spark in his eyes that should’ve tipped her off as to his intentions. It seemed to her that he’d made up his mind as to what was going to happen that night between them long before it happened. He was cute and he knew that she knew.

Y/N just couldn’t resist doing things his way for once and… having a little fun wouldn’t hurt either.

Minutes later, she was sinking to her knees in front of Hvitserk, as her hands slid up his thighs to pull at his belt with impatient fingers, then she helped him unzip his pants. All of a sudden, she was so eager to please him, looking up at him through the curly lashes that fanned her cheeks, and she knew then that she was making a mistake. A big one.

But mistakes rarely ever tasted that good. And they didn’t moan so good either. His voice was like music to her ears. His throaty praises sent a rush of warmth to her core and made her feel accomplished.

“Yes, Y/N, that’s a good girl. Just like that, baby girl.”

It seems like he’d finally learned her name.

Then, for the next hour or so, she discovered that his tongue served for more than just spewing unkind words. Whenever he flicked it against her skin, she sank deeper into her pleasure.

It was a struggle trying to come up with a strategy to get her way later when all she could think about was how she hadn’t been fucked that good in months. It was a miracle the bed hadn’t split in half.

She wondered how she was supposed to infiltrate his family and betray him now that they’d slept together. It would be a damn shame to lose the best lover she’d had in so long.

Hvitserk was never supposed to get the upper hand, not for one second, and she knew she should’ve felt angrier about it. But when Hvitserk threw a blanket around her body and an arm around her waist, she only moved to feel him closer.

“So… what did you want to talk to me about?” Hvitserk asked after an extended silence. Even without seeing his face, she could tell there was a smugness to his voice. The little bastard knew how much she had enjoyed their little tumble between the sheets.

“Well, I just feel like we got off on the wrong foot here.”

He scoffed. “Ya think?”

“Yeah, just because Ragnar left me in charge doesn’t mean that we can’t get along.” Y/N stared at the fireplace in his bedroom.

Among the many expensive pieces of art that she’d seen in their house, there was one that caught her attention. It was a painting of a proud woman bedecked in jewels and gold holding the decapitated head of a man above the fireplace. Y/N felt a satisfying darkness stirring inside her as she pictured Ragnar’s head where the man’s head was and her own face replacing the features of the woman. Her little fantasy brought her a smidge of happiness.

“That painting is really…. special.” She raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Father had dozens of paintings scattered around the house, but this one is just sick. I don’t like it at all.”

Soon Y/N could have the Lothbrok’s place all to herself if she wanted. She still hadn’t figured out if she was going to kick Hvitserk and Ivar from their house. Leaving people without a roof over their heads seemed a little too cruel, even for her, but it was well within her power.

It was thrilling to know that everything that the Lothbrok’s owned was technically hers, but she still didn’t want to be too brash and upfront. They didn’t know who she’d been to Ragnar and she wanted to keep that information to herself.

“About that… who are you exactly? I mean, don’t get me wrong, this was fun… reallyfun…” Hvitserk ran his hand up her tired thigh, feeling every inch of her skin. “And I would definitely do it again… but you’re still the enemy.”

“I guess that makes you a very poor strategist.”

“I think you mean it makes usvery poor strategists… I can tell you came here with a mission before I got you all sidetracked.” Y/N heard his throat produce a low chuckle. “Contrary to what Ivar likes to think, I’m not stupid.” Hvitserk’s tone was carefree but somehow still serious.

“Actually…” Y/N sat up and clutched the sheets to her chest. “Yeah, yeah I did. I was reading through the papers that the lawyer left and I just… I think it’s too much. Don’t you?”

“What’s too much?” Hvitserk’s hand caressed her back up and down absentmindedly turning her skin to gooseflesh.

“This. All of this.” She gestured in the air with her hands. “Like, I don’t need all that you own. And as much as it would please me to piss you and Ivar off-”

Hvitserk scoffed with humor. “I bet…”

“I think I could settle for less.”

“I guess my first question is... why do you want to piss us off?” Hvitserk placed a hand on the back of her head, tightly scrunching a fistful of her hair to make her stretch back her neck before biting the exposed skin harshly. “We’ve never done anything to you, mysterious woman.”

“Maybe we could discuss that some other time.” Y/N closed her eyes and her throat whimpered.

His lips were hot like molten metal and just as velvety smooth. “I thought you came here to talk.” Hvitserk’s cheeky mouth kept sucking on her skin until she couldn’t handle the painful throbbing of her center anymore.

Y/N turned around and let him get on top. The thought of feeling Hvitserk filling her up again so soon made her quiver. This had to be the third time he’d taken her that night. He was insatiable and she loved it.

“And then my second question would be, what do you mean by ‘less’?” Hvitserk prodded while he positioned himself in between her legs.

“Mmm… something like that painting over there. I think it’s one of Klimt’s masterpieces, isn’t it? I could sell it and still live like a rich girl.”

“That was my father’s favorite painter.” Somehow, Hvitserk still had enough willpower to form coherent sentences. “We- hmm. Fuck.” He lifted her leg up to his shoulder then lowered his hips with a rough grunt. “We own lots of works by that artist. I’m sure we would not miss one stupid painting.”

“Sound like we could come up with an agreement then. But Hvitserk?”

“Yeah?” He sounded just as out of it as she felt.

Fuck, it was going to be hard to get rid of him.

“Business can wait.”

#ivar #ivar ragnarsson #ivar the boneless #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar fanfic #hvitserk #hvitserk ragnarsson #modern ivar #modern hvitserk #kattegat

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spookyheaad · 3 years

Text

Tesoro/Stella art & more headcanon talk (it’s more serious this time):

Trigger warning for mentions of self harm, PTSD, depression, suicide, and visuals of bodily scars

Just got my final covid shot today so you know what that means!!! Time to share more Tesoro/Stella art that I’ve been making, because I wanna interact with the three other Tesoro fans out there; help me take my mind off of this shit ass anxiety.

Headcanons will be peppered throughout, I’ll try to organize it as best as I can, I’m very anxious rn.

Just finished this the other day; more concepts for later chapters of the Tesoro/Stella fic. Also just - Tesoro with the buzzcut/dad hat/very casual combo is deeply special to me.

(((BTW you can click the images for higher quality)))

I AM GOING TO DIE ON THIS HILL RIGHT NOW: Gild Tesoro should have SCARS on his body after being enslaved, as should Stella. This is Tesoro’s one and only design flaw. I know it fits with his character to be this perfect, flawless god, but it’s not realistic to what he has gone through, so I give him scars.

I also do that because I personally feel that Tesoro & Stella can only be gentle towards each other; like - extremely gentle; “I’m afraid if I touch you too hard, you’ll crumble into dust between my fingers” kind of gentle. They are deeply afraid of hurting one another.

I like to compare their love for one another to penguins. Some penguin species have one special mate that they stay with for life; and Tesoro & Stella’s relationship & what it could have been somehow radiates that feeling to me. I think in canon, Tesoro would have tried to have a real connection with another woman like he did with Stella, but it all falls flat; doesn’t feel the same. That’s also why I think he had his three pool girls around (and they all somehow looked like Stella, or mirrored some of her physical traits/characteristics. Bitch this is so fucking sad). It says on the OP wiki that the three pool girls were there to give him affection, so of course he would want them to remind him of Stella in some way (😞).

In terms of mental illness, Tesoro obviously has PTSD. But I also think he has severe clinical depression with aspects of psychosis; this causes his god-complex like delusions of grandeur where he thinks that he’s a god and holds power over others. I was doing some research, severe depression can cause transient hallucinations and delusions, so seeing things, hearing things that all aren’t there, and delusions, as I stated above.

Stella also suffers from nearly the same things (PTSD & Depression), minus the psychosis aspect to her depression. The difference between the both of them is that Stella got help, learned to manage her symptoms, and take care of herself. Tesoro did not, so he’s been stuck in a cycle of self destructive and violent behavior (The Tesoro/Stella fic details this, and also depicts Tesoro finally being able to change and get help).

One thing that I’m very adamant about in regards to my depiction of Tesoro & Stella’s relationship is that this is not an “I can fix you!!” Type of ordeal, and I’m not romanticizing their struggles because “uwu it’s cute” or some crap like that. I take this fic somewhat seriously because mental illness doesn’t magically go away once you fall in love; it doesn’t really go away in general (that may vary on severity of the mental illness and other factors as well), I’ve personally learned to manage my mental illness, and that’s what a lot of others have to do as well. One reason why I love my “if Stella survived” AU is because they would literally be so supportive of one another’s struggles, and would be patient and unbelievably caring. Tesoro is’t trying to fix Stella & Stella isn’t trying to fix Tesoro. They’re just trying to move on; to make it to the next day, they’re growing and managing on their own, with each other by their side to support them when they need it. It’s once again a massive comfort for me, to have two characters that are in love, manage their mental struggles, learn from one another, and be supportive & stick with them if they’re having it rough.

Went on a bit of a rant there, but basically my depiction of Tesoro/Stella is mutually loving, and they genuinely care about each other’s well being. There’s none of that “I can fix them!!” shit, and I try to depict them struggling with mental illness in a very real way instead of the “I’m sad and depressed” *meets someone* “I am no longer sad, my depression is magically gone”. That stuff I take seriously, especially as someone who deals with a debilitating mental illness as well as depression. It ain’t cute, it ain’t fun.

I’ll just go over this headcanon very briefly, but I do think that they both have issues with self harm; Tesoro more than Stella because as I said earlier she was able to get help and manage her symptoms. Both have also dealt with suicidal ideation. I don’t want to go into too much detail because I know it’s a very sensitive thing, but because of the severe trauma they go through, I would see these things being prevalent (especially when you keep in mind that many escaped world noble slaves end up taking their lives).

That’s all I really have for now, I’m gonna go relax for a bit, probably make more Tesoro/Stella fanart because my dad took the day off tomorrow so I can rest.

#I told you I have a bunch of headcanons for them #I still have more #art #fanart #fanfiction #one piece #artists on tumblr #anime #manga #artist #one piece anime #one piece manga #one piece headcanons #headcanons #one piece film gold #gild tesoro #Stella (One Piece)

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dragonherder2030 · 3 years

Text

So I watched Raya and the Last Dragon-

I honestly was very disappointed with the movie as a whole. I LOVE dragons and main movies and media just doesn’t have much of them that I have seen. So when I saw that Disney was making a movie about and staring a dragon character, I got very excited. I had loved the design for Sisu when she was just a concept art

She was much more colorful and had a very different face, a more regional face. She is definitely more water dragony compared to the actual final draft design. And she is just overall prettier in my opinion.

Spoilers under this point

Another thing is the continuity and main logic of the movie. In the beginning of the movie it is practically about 15 minutes of exposition. It tells that apparently all the dragons are water dragons, every single one since they all look the same, but that there were multiple dragons in the past. These evil creatures made of human greed or whatever started attacking humans, and well I guess other things but the humans primarily. When attacked, they pass through the human and either take or freeze their spirit or something I don’t remember exactly, but the person becomes stone. So the dragons being the most powerful creatures in the world, they tried to fight the things. The dragons were also turned to stone, all but one, The Mighty Sisu. In the exposition it says that she compiled all her magic into the orb, and used it to destroy the things and turn everyone back from stone. Except the dragons. Do they ever explain why it didn’t turn the dragons back to alive? No it does not, it absolutely does not, but ho boy there is SO much more. Later in the exposition, the dragon gem gets broken into 5 pieces, one for each of the tribes. And they each possess a piece of the gem now. So, when the gem gets broken, all the evil creatures from the very beginning just, come back! This is never explained- nothing is ever explained in this movie it was just made for the funnies I GUESS. This movie feels like a really bad book adaption HONESTLY. And at the end of the movie when everyone comes back because it’s a kids movie, it’s just AHHGH everyone is happy now all the dragons come back and everything is dandy. But why didn’t the dragons come back in the beginning? The whole moral of the movie is “Trust good”. Seriously that’s it. And when they put the dragon gem back together at the end everyone is like “oh wow we need to trust each other and that’s how the magic will WoRk”. But explained earlier when we hear Sisu’s whole backstory is that when SHE did the magic fix she trusted her siblings the most that she had in that moment, SO TELL ME WHY DIDN’T IT WORK!!?? It makes no sense to me at least maybe I’m just missing something. But it annoys me so much, nothing makes sense in this movie. Another theory I have is that there were 3 writers. Each assigned to a seperate story arc, one to the beginning exposition thing, one to the middle main part, and one to the climax and final bits of the movie. The thing is, the writers only vaguely know what the past ones did XD.

The next problem I have is with the actual magic and formulation of dragons, as well as what the heck is up with the dragon gem. But don’t worry, I have at least 2 more problems with this movie. So as Sisu gets more and more of the dragon gem shards, she gains new powers. But do you know why? Because APPARENTLY when the gem broke into the 5 pieces, the magic of her individual siblings who gave their magic to the gem was separated perfectly. Ok that may not make much sense. But when we see Sisu’s backstory it shows that her oldest brother made the gem, then each sibling except Sisu put their special magic into the gem. So then, when it broke, the individual gem pieces only had the 1 type of magic in them? Excuse me what? That doesn’t make sense, if I make a cake, then I won’t cut it up and get only egg from one slice, then a bunch of sugar from another slice. It’s just- really bad and they could have fixed it by just- not having the siblings at all. They so easily could have been written out of the story, instead Sisu could have no magic when she is brought back, which she practically has none, her “magic” is that she is a strong swimmer. But then as she gets the pieces she gains back parts of her original magic, that would have been more indering then the siblings. Now the second part of this is the actual powers. Ok, which sounds like more of a power, being able to glow, or being able to fly around by walking on raindrops. The second one right? Well, ThEY aRe BoTh COsIdeReD MaGIc iN tHiS UniVErSe. All the powers that Raya aquires from the dragon gem pieces is being able to do the glow, being able to shape shift into a human, and being able to walk on the rain. Now, that isn’t even the part I’m the most mad about. At the end of the movie when all the dragons come back, THEY ALL CAN WALK ON THE RAIN. LIKE WHAT!? I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE OLDER BROTHER’S MAGIC TYPE! Do you get what I mean by this movie having no continuity? At the end of the movie, Sisu was killed by evil cat lady, and all the dragons come back walking on the rain and just- resurrect her. Ok, I guess that could be explained away as all the magic beings being magical, but I still don’t like how easily they did it. Yet another thing is that Sisu can make a bunch of magical smoke, well not magical but it’s really shimmery and thick, that’s not explained, she just can do it.

Let’s talk about the relationships in this movie. I hate them. No ones characters are developed on or improved except for maybe cat lady- I need to find her name somewhere, but except for Namarii is her name, her and Raya. Namarii’s big stitch is, I don’t even know just not being the most evil person? Either that or the same trust thing, which would mean that her and Raya have the same character arc. Raya in the beginning of the movie is explained to be the daughter of the chef of clan Heart, one of the most prosperous out of the 5 clans. They at the start of the movie had the dragon gem, and the father guy, he invited every other clan over to have a big feast or whatever. So when they get there, young Namarii, all this is happening when Raya is like, 9 I think, but Namarii and Raya become friends over fangirling for Sisu. Namarii has a necklace of Sisu that she gives to Raya. And side note, they act as though Sisu isn’t the SAVIOR OF THIER LANDS, but she’s some really good singer. Well I guess they have to connect to all those youngsters out there with an obsession and that rElATaBlE moment when you fInD AnOTheR oF tHiEr kInD. That just triggered me. But since Namarii is such a big fan of Sisu, Raya, after being shown to be VERY offensive about the idea of the other tribes coming, just decides to show Namarii the dragon gem! But uh oh, twist, Namarii is actually bad oh noooo and everyone comes up and starts to fight over the dragon gem. Then it shatters and the evil things come back. So Raya and her dad are trying to escape, her dad had been injured from fighting an arrow to the leg, but the things are repelled by water. So what does the dad do? He yeets the child into a river(they are on a bridge at this point) after having a minute long conversation with her. Like, could he not just tip himself off to? But hey we have to give them characters angsty backstorys amiright? It’s just so stupid the character motives. So like, Idk 12 years pass by or something since Raya is an adult now. She actually has a pretty emotional prayer type thing to Sisu when she is trying to resurrect her to save the world. This movie has a few ups that I will put at the end. So let’s talk about Sisu now, ho boy, she is the “oh everything will be fixed with hugs and kisses”. You know what this is, this is the same exact dynamic that Poppy and Branch went through during Trolls movie! The exact same dynamic! HECK Disney couldn’t even get original personalities. Sisu blindly trusting everything gets them into wacky situations and causes some conflict between Raya and Sisu but BARELY ANY. And Sisu just seems like- really innocent, she’s oblivious all the time. She’s this ancient beast and she just has the most generic personality and I loath it. Namanii is actually someone I liked. She seemed like the most real character until the very end, just, the blindly “oh everything is alright now and I’m fine with everyone now trauma doesn’t exist”. Also on that point, apparently trauma doesn’t exist in this world, because Sisu lost every single one of her siblings, and just, doesn’t show any sign of grieving or remorse she just doesn’t give a thought to them. Except for the backstory bit but she just doesn’t seem to care. Also just a side note, none of those side characters are developed at all and just there for practically comic relief. The whole resolution of the movie is them putting the gem together and then all “hugging” each other and wow look at that it worked. *inhales* and then when Sisu comes back, she has the most emotionally dead response to Raya, none of the character reuniting is good. You know, if you have seen storks, that near end montage where all the babies are brought to the people? Yeah, that was 100% better then the resolutions of Raya and the Last Dragon. One scene that ticked me off so much was when that ninja baby was reunited with her parents, the mom, oh my gosh, she looked as if she had just found an old purse she misplaced. She did not look- ah I can’t even put it into words just look up the clip to get it.

That’s all that I have to say about the movie, I probably have more somewhere but honestly I couldn’t put it into words. Now, you know, I have to give this movie a few good opinions. The movie looked amazing, great character design(except for the dragons I dispose them) and everything looks gorgeous. As well as the animal design, I wish I could have seen more animals honestly they all looked really interesting and unique.

Sorry this post was so long I just wanted to put my opinions out there.

#my opinion #Raya and the Last dragon #Raya and the Last Dragon spoilers #spoilers #critics

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